TLDR: I’m considering giving up on running due to recurrent injuries and wanted to hear if anyone else had gone through a similar experience.
I’m in my early 30s and mostly in decent shape but have been set back in my running by continual injury. Over the last 3-4 years I’ve gone round a pretty constant cycle of slowly getting back to running (not crazy distances - maybe 10-15km max) before I start getting pain on the outside of my knee which gradually kicks in earlier and earlier in my runs. I take time off, see a physio, go through months of exercises and am cleared to run and the cycle repeats.
Physios have all been very hopeful each time that resting and doing specific strengthening exercises (calves, glutes, quads - can’t wait to see what the next time brings!) will sort it out and usually it does for a while so I get a few months of pain-free running. The ratio is definitely more physio than running though.
This has become immensely frustrating and after the last few years I’m considering just giving up on running - accepting that it’s something I’m not set up for and trying to find another type of cardio exercise I can do that gets me outside and active.
I was wondering if anyone else has either had similar problems and either found a solution or gone the other way and given up. If the latter, what did people go on to do?
Thanks for any help you’re able to give. I don’t really have many people I can talk to about this and feel pretty much at the end of my patience.

I've trained in kyokushin karate for 3.5 years. I'm a 3rd kyu (green belt black stripe).
I've had some issues plaguing me over the years.
I've got an autoimmune disease called Graves Disease which was left untreated due to medical negligence and caused mitral valve regurgitation, wheezing, heart palpations, etc.
In addition I've developed a few chronic pains and injuries due to and exacerbated by karate over the last few years.
Anyone who knows kyokushin knows that it's full contact, no nonsense training, and I loved that. But at 28 I found myself in constant pain.
I started getting anxious attending trainings because every time I went I'd leave feeling much worse than when I got there. Pins and needles in hands, not being able to turn my head properly, etc.
I decided to take a break and havent been back for a few months while I see an acupuncturist every week and a physio every few weeks. The physio exercises cause pain while my body gets used to them, but otherwise I've been feeling significantly better.
I'm not taking painkillers all the time, I can sleep properly again, I have so much time on my hands to look after myself properly (karate, including travel took up almost 9 hours of my week).
I promised I would go back tonight but every time I think of it I feel anxious. The expectations for my grade are high.
Im afraid my values don't align with a lot of the people there, and I'm also afraid of being judged for being away so long. I think that if people need time to heal they should be granted it, but I've been judged a fair bit for getting sick often and needing to adjust training more and more to accommodate injuries.
I feel frustrated because I always thought of myself as very strong, athletic and borderline invincible, but I feel weak. I have no confidence left in my abilities and I don't trust my senpai and sensei as much as I used to because they sometimes rolled their eyes when I said something was starting to hurt too much. I started to convince myself that maybe I was fabricating injuries I got.
I'm starting to ramble now. I just don't know what to do. Part of me feels an obligation to keep going because I have put so many hours into it, but another part feels a strong sense of self preservation and anxiety at going back.
I'd love some opinions, especially from other people who have had similar experiences.

I (21F) have been diagnosed with GAD by my GP years ago and was previously on Zoloft. Hated how it made me feel, so I haven’t been on anything in a long time. I’m currently a junior in college, but I’m struggling to make it to the end of this semester.
Last week was excruciating for me, and I lost it this past Thursday. I was able to attend my first morning classes of the day, but I had to miss the remainder of my classes due to one of the worst panic attacks I’ve had in a while. I was running on an hour of sleep (do have insomnia), dry-heaving all day, and I felt out of my mind. I went to my school’s health center to pe rhaps get some immediate help, especially due to the chest pain I was having. They were wonderful to me, ran an EKG and chest X-rays, but I completely downplayed my situation by putting up a front and claiming it was just “stress”. I don’t know why I couldn’t fully disclose all of this at the time— it’s like a defense mechanism for me. Even in-between nurses/physicians who would come in, I would let it drop and start tearing up and hyperventilating. I left feeling rather ashamed at myself for failing to get the actual help I needed and to have the courage to be vulnerable.
I guess I am embarrassed to be experiencing this much anxiety about external stressors— things that should be manageable. I do, of course, get anxious about my grades and school, but I typically struggle most with things internally (if that makes sense). I have been under a lot of stress lately, and I assume it’s just been building up. I’m terrified of these final weeks, especially with my grades/final exams, as my brain fog is so bad that I feel that I can’t put together a single coherent thought. I’ve lost at least 10 lbs in a week due to how nauseous I have been, and my body refuses to shut down. Breathing, meditation, and all my usual attempts at trying to regulate my nervous system haven’t been working. I’m having panic attacks throughout the night, in the morning, and then it creeps back up on my throughout my day. I’m still experiencing physiological symptoms that make me even more worked up: nausea, gagging, chest pain, and eye twitching. I feel the stress in my body- in my bones, my muscles- and I feel like I’m deteriorating.
I don’t know what to do. I never got a note from my visit, and I need to get one for my professors. I’ve already missed so much school due to being constantly sick since March. I missed a really important presentation and lab grade. I don’t know how to approach getting one, since I blew it off at the time out of embarrassment, but do you think I should go back? I think I may need to see my university’s psychological/counseling center… but I’m not sure what to do. Any help?

Had unprotected sex (lesson learned) he pulled out and I took a plan b within two hours, all during a fertile window (according to Flo). A week post plan b I started spotting, for 5ish days. The first day was like a period very crampy, the following days were brown and sporadic.
I took a test 15 days post sex, negative. A second test on the first day of my missed period (18 days) , negative. A third test 21 days post sex negative.
Main symptoms: lower back pain, very sore breasts on and off
My period at this point is a week late.
Do I play the waiting game for my period? Should I go to the doctor? Take another test?

Hi docs!
For the past year or two, I’ve been experiencing fiery nerve-like pain that starts from mid thigh and shoots down my leg, just above the ankle… it’s accompanied by momentary leg weakness. The pain doesn’t last long, typically less than a minute. But it happens often, up to several times a day. If I’m standing, I’ve learned to shift my weight to my right leg when these episodes come on (no rhyme or reason) to prevent from falling. As when I don’t shift my weight, and these episodes come on, I’ve fallen from the weakness. I’m unable to bear weight on that leg until the pain and sensation stops. Though these episodes also occur when sitting or laying.
I had a spine/lumbar and pelvic MRI that was otherwise unremarkable except for some cysts on my ovaries (I was diagnosed with PCOS over a decade ago so that was nothing new).
In addition to the episodes of pain/weakness, there’s one particular spot just above the knee that is incredibly sensitive to touch, and if I’m standing (bearing weight on both legs) and something hits that spot i.e kids, my dog jumping up, etc, my leg completely gives out from under me and I fall. I don’t know if it’s related to the nerve-like episodes or not. But both issues affect the same leg.
I really don’t want to go back to my doctor and be like “I know we did testing that came back normal but I’m still having these issues” because honestly I don’t know what more they can do for me. But I want to know if anyone has ideas as to what could be the issue and if it’s something that can be fixed, or if I just have to continue dealing with it.
I’m a 31 year old female, history of RA (I don’t know if this is RA related or not), and will attach in the comments of my MRI results & a diagram where I’ve circled of the spot that causes my leg to essentially come out from under me when touched.

Over the week I’ve seen many people surprised to learn that Watcher even has a Patreon, and asking why they didn’t push it harder in their episodes before turning to something as crazy as a new streaming service. I am very interested in these questions myself, but before we get started on anything broad and philosophical, or anything specific to Watcher, let’s get a huge disclaimer out of the way:
Patreon has been getting worse for a while and many creators who rely heavily on it would probably jump ship if they had a more reliable option and could keep their current subscribers
I don’t want to get too much into the weeds on this one. You can watch this video from Tom Nichols for the details, but I do recommend you watch it on 1.5 because holy fuck does he have slow delivery. Long story short, creators initially flocked to Patreon because it was the first crowdfunding platform to allow ongoing, monthly donations to simply support an artist without that artist having a huge “project” with a funding goal and deadline. Patreon allowed a lot more freedom and security than the previous model of Kickstarter campaigns. So, it was very welcome.
However, Patreon’s venture-capital funding forced it from an early stage to pursue aggressive growth rather than letting it focus on maintaining a good product for creators and patrons alike. This allowed it to establish early market dominance but, this also came back to bite them in the ass as venture capital investors pushed them to get more revenue and keep growing at the expense of its relationship with its viewers. This meant that Patreon has gone from taking 5% of overall donations to 8% (and is pushing hard for creators to join their 12% plan) while also trying to make creators more and more dependent on the site.
This comes at the cost of maintaining Patreon’s core service: subscription payment processing. Patreon is becoming increasingly unreliable at the one thing creators need it to be really, REALLY good at. Most creators AND patrons see Patreon as just a tip jar—a way to pay creators for what they’re already doing on other platforms. Patreon rewards are usually low-effort or sparse (early access, once-a-month Q&A, private discord): a thank-you, a fan club, not the content itself, which is generally hosted elsewhere. Creators don’t want those extra features, but those extra features are being used to justify taking a bigger and bigger cut of their earnings. And creators are increasingly fed up.
All that goes to say, while I don’t think Watcher ever really “got” Patreon, we do need to keep in mind that even if Watcher had made perfect use of their Patreon over the last 4 years, they still would be in a precarious situation today just because Patreon sucks.
(Tangent: any competing platform that can successfully head-hunt the ~550 Whales (the top 0.25% of creators who get 25% percent of all pledges) could coup Patreon’s current monopoly and I wouldn’t be surprised if that happens in the next couple of years. Funniest scenario is if, out of the blue, Patreon’s 500 biggest creators announced “Hey guys we are all jumping ship to a new platform”, deactivated their accounts, and took a huge bonus from the new site to float them for the next few months while their fans and smaller creators made the transition to follow them.)
OK, that disclaimer aside:

WHY DIDN’T THEY JUST USE THEIR PATREON?

Let’s turn this question on its head: Should they have even had a Patreon to start with?
Let’s compare their 25-person company to other big YouTube production suites with multiple employees. Smosh doesn’t have a Patreon. Good Mythical Morning doesn’t have a Patreon. CollegeHumor never had a Patreon. The Fine Bros with all their “Kids/Elders/Parents/Teens react” channels never did. Cut doesn’t. Jubilee (run by Steven Lim’s friend/mentor Jason Lee) doesn’t have a Patreon, and doesn’t it seem insane to suggest that it should? And talking about Jubilee brings us to talking about the investors. Most notably, we should mention the guy who invested in both Jubilee AND Watcher, Steve Chen.
u/DHLawrence_sGhost found a site saying that Watcher received a total of $358,000 but this is not confirmed, however, this doesn’t seem like an unreasonable number to me considering that when you look at Jubilee on Crunchbase, we see that in 2017/2018 the company received $655k from 4 investors in a “Seed” round. Now, we don’t know exactly how much money Steve Chen, the cofounder of YouTube, investor in Wish.com, Printify, and Instawork, gave to the guys. According to Crunchbase, he did give money to Jubilee in their 2022 seed round (they raised a total of 1.1 million from 8 investors including Chen, according to this article, that was not the first time he gave them money). So considering how much Steve seems to be giving out to internet video companies, the $358k seems approximately reasonable.
(Tangent: I think this indicates that while Watcher’s investors (Steve Chen, Ryan Chen of Neuro, and Ben Chen and Andrew Chau of the Boba Guys (tangent: tangent, I don't think any of the Chens are related to each other)) ARE California investor bros, the lack of actual Venture Capital arrangements means probably none of them were dumb enough to think that this little YouTube channel would actually turn into a massive Netflix-size platform as one of their “Unicorns”, so the money they gave Watcher probably didn’t come with as many strings attached to it as you might think and could have been very generous SAFE funding, Since the company has apparently never been profitable, it’s unlikely any of their revenue has had to be passed on to those early investors. They probably each threw away $50-100k on a longshot. The Boba Guys and Neuro got ad space, but Steve Chen does not seem very hands on as he has moved back to Taiwan and seems far more enthusiastic about companies there.
Tangent continues: notably this first round of investment appears to have been their only outside investment. u/ DHLawrence_sGhost has gone through “Making Watcher” and not found evidence of other investors. So while I do think that finance-bro thinking does permeate Watcher’s culture (Examples: Steven Lim calling Watcher a “Start up” and the company’s apparent urge to just GROW GROW GROW), I don’t think that a shadowy cabal of “investors” can be blamed for what ended up happening.)
So: you’re Watcher. You’re 3 guys with a huge amount of experience both in front of and behind the camera. You were given $350,000 to get your own studio, equipment, and employees. And because it’s just what you do when you make a new YouTube channel, you also start a Patreon. Before the Announcement, Watcher had 5814 paid members on Patreon, and 2.94 million subscribers on YouTube. That means .2% of their YouTube subscribers were subscribed on Patreon. That might seem like an awful conversion rate and, while it is, it’s actually better than many similar companies. There’s a “Binging with Babish” Patreon sitting at a tiny 612 members (.006% conversion) and most surprisingly to me the Try Guys Patreon, in spite of the 8 million YouTube subs, only has 2510 patrons (down 3000 members from their peak in May 2019, currently .03% conversion). I’m beginning to think that people just don’t like giving money to YouTube channels that are actually small businesses with 20+ employees.
Who do they like giving money to? Well, the YouTuber with the most Patreon subscribers, Jenny Nicholson, has 1.08 million subscribers on YT and 26,024 patrons, with a conversation rate of 2.4% (most of the biggest Patreon creators are actually podcasts!) Other big-name video essayists seem range from between .5% and 1%. Hbomberguy has 1.1%, Lindsay Ellis who doesn’t even make videos for YouTube anymore is about .65%. That’s who succeeds on Patreon--Individual creators (or very small teams) who create occasional long-form videos. Folding Ideas has 4718 patrons, FD Signifier has 3599, Quinton Reviews has 5131. You can sustain yourself and a small team off those numbers, silently grinding for up to a year without releasing anything before sauntering over to YouTube to drop a 2 or 10 hour video on an extremely niche topic, and the people who like that will pay for you to do it, because 1) they aren’t getting that video any other way and 2) they like YOU and know you can't live on adsense and sponsorships while making what they want.
This is important -- I think patrons like to give money to these types of creators for exactly the same reason Patreon was so welcome in the first place. Lots of creators don’t make videos on a weekly or even monthly basis, but if you really really like that type of video, you know it’s not sustainable for the creator to make that type of thing unless they have extra support. Basically everyone I donate to has a very sparse release, or I’m supporting them as a form of charity (Like Ocean Rescue Namibia, if you canceled your patreon membership to Watcher and are looking to give it to someone really deserving, please give it to the guys who spend their afternoons cutting industrial fishing lines off of marine wildlife). But is the creatopatron relationship really that easy to explain?
Amanda Palmer, the first musician to raise more than a million dollars on kickstarter, wrote a lot about crowdfunding in her 2014 book, “The Art of Asking”, which is based on her 2013 Ted Talk of the same name. In many ways Amanda’s nothing like the guys from Watcher. She’s a musician who writes about abortions, vegemite, and relationships where her partner won’t communicate his feelings (she was also married to Neil Gaiman for 11 years). She plays piano so intensely that she breaks the keys and lets her drunk fans draw on her naked body with sharpies. She was a living statue for 5 years. In short, Amanda Palmer is not a “Content Creator”, she is a capital A Artist. And yet, the conversations she writes about in 2014 seem painfully prescient to what the guys went through 10 years later.

We were comparing notes about the pros and cons of Patreon.com, a new subscription service Sam was using…Sam was about to travel to Asia with her boyfriend, and she was fretting about what her backers would think if she released some of her new songs to Patreon while she was “On vacation.” She was worried that posting pictures of herself sipping a mai tai was going to make her look like an asshole…
I told Sam about another songwriter friend of mine, Kim, who runs her own direct-support website…Kim had told me a few days before that she doesn’t mind charging her backers during what she calls her “Staring-at-the-wall time”, which she thinks is essential before she can write a new batch of songs. Her fans don’t complain; they trust the process.
If you’re asking your fans to support you, the artist, it shouldn’t matter what your choices are as long as you’re delivering your side of the bargain.

Amanda focuses a lot on the human connection that occurs when someone asks for help. People like helping, they like donating to artists, even though most of them don’t even use the little extra rewards like early access. They like knowing that the person who makes the thing they like can make it without starving or living in a mold-infested apartment. The vulnerability of the artist asking for help makes the art more authentic, it helps fans enjoy it more. Yet a lot of creators and artists feel a lot of shame in asking. Some of them like Dan Olson don’t shout out their patreon at all, assuming (rightfully, I suppose) that their fans will seek them out and support them. But if you are one dude living with his girlfriend and cat in Alberta, Canada, paying the occasional animator or songwriter for a brief interlude in your once-yearly video about internet finance, you can make that call, and live comfortably off 5,000 patrons and adsense.
If you’re a 25-person company in Hollywood and many of your videos require travel, well…that’s a different story. It feels funny, of course, that you were able to look Steven Chen in the eye and ask him for tens of thousands of dollars, but you can’t deliver a promo read to your own audience asking them to pay into the $5 tier of your Patreon.
Of course, fans at the time were angry because many of them didn’t have that $5 to spare, and Steven Chen of course has many tens of thousands of dollars that he won’t even notice missing. But if you’re a finance-brained LA wannabe tech bro, or hell, even if you’re a bass player on tour with Amanda Palmer, asking fans for cash feels embarrassing, like begging, and asking millionaires makes you feel like the next Steve Jobs. You can either accept the discomfort (Like Amanda) or you can reject it, and try to quantify it, because once you reach a certain point of Capitalism Poisoning, it is easier to ask people to give you money for a Product, even a stupid one like Watcher TV, than it is to just ask them to give you money for what you have already released for free.
No one would have been mad if the guys had just…shouted out their Patreon more often (although ultimately it might not have been enough money to save them, if they had been pushing their Patreon harder from the beginning, they would have had a higher income from it this entire time). But in trying to fix a hard even number, the guys violated a sort of invisible social contract which has been innately understood by almost everyone else on the internet. The current model is, “Everyone gets (mostly) everything, those who really like it can pay what they can, and we’ll be OK.” Changing that to the streaming service says, “No one gets anything unless they pay for it.” (Yes I know it’s now an early access model, that was not the original plan). They have rejected what your audience has already done—this is why it’s so horrible that they never mentioned the Patreon AT ALL on the original video. Even if you had never paid for the Patreon you were offended on the current patrons’ behalf.
Lots of fans say they can't trust the guys anymore, that the rose-colored glasses are broken, and I think it's a bit more nuanced than just learning that the guys are bad with money or don't understand the financial realities of their audience. The reason the audience can't trust the guys, is that the guys have made it clear that they don't trust the audience.
I think Watcher was in a really uncomfortable position, because that early boost of funding got them off to a great start, but it also made them a Real Company, and Real Companies Don’t Use Patreon. You get imposter syndrome, almost, feeling like you’re not one of these Real Artists who need it to actually use their rent. Amanda Palmer talks a lot about imposter syndrome, the embarrassment of asking her fans to fund her album when she wasn’t a brand new artist but an established one who had actually already had a big record label deal. Worse was asking her fans to fund a project while being married to Neil Gaiman of Being Neil Gaiman fame and money. Yet, her music was always coming out for free, and if you thought she should live off her rich husband, you could just listen to the music and not give her a cent. But even though Amanda felt like an imposter for asking, her fans found her music and art authentic, and kept giving. She has 9406 paid members now. At her peak she had over 15,000, and that was WHILE she and Neil were still married.
Watcher’s audience was also extremely invested in supporting them, and so even though their Patreon worked more as a paid fan club than a tip jar, that was OK for a while. The audience (kids who liked YouTube and young adults who wanted to hold onto the good times from when they were those kids) was willing to treat The Guys just like they treated the other creators they supported, because from a certain perspective Watcher actually wasn’t that different from Overly Sarcastic Productions (3063 patrons) or Lemmino (1732 patrons). They made videos on YouTube, and you gave them money on Patreon. Yeah, maybe they had a few extra employees, maybe their videos were more “content” than “art”, but it was still The Guys, and everyone wanted The Guys to succeed. Sure, The Guys took sponsorships, and there were a lot of ads, but so did the other creators they supported. It was OK.
Watcher wasn't just another group of guys on YouTube, of course, but it's important to note that they could have been. After leaving Buzzfeed, they could have grown themselves up naturally, reading creepypastas over Zoom (probably without the custom art), making Puppet History in a small rented studio (probably without the cute original songs), cooking silly requests for their friends (probably without the ridiculously overpriced ingredients), streaming spooky games on Twitch, while regularly shouting out their Patreon and learning what they could rely on for Adsense. And they could have added in other staff slowly, only as necessary, not outpacing the growth of the channel. They could have been Real YouTubers.
Maybe they could have actually gone on to TV. Maybe Ryan and Shane could have pitched themselves as a ghost-hunting duo with tons of fans, and a streaming service like Hulu which had already hosted their work, or even an actual network like SyFy could have picked them up. Steven and Andrew could have pitched themselves as a food travel channel to Netflix or the Travel Channel. All their old fans would still have been able to watch, or if they had to pay for a new service, at least it would be a service full of other stuff to watch. Hot off their huge successes at Buzzfeed, they could have been Real TV Guys.
But when introducing the streaming service, Watcher tripped on the curtain, and revealed the truth. They were just a badly managed company that had way more in common with Jubilee, Cut, and Buzzfeed than it did with the rest of YouTube. And the Guys did that to themselves. They chose to put a number on the relationship they had with their audience ($5.99 is exactly how much they think they mean to you, if you ever gave them more than I guess they think you are a sucker). They aren’t Real YouTubers, and they have probably blown their chance to be Real TV Guys, and now they are something far far less, something no creative should ever aspire to be: just another content mill.

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Friend of a friend invited my friend to a house get together where my friend was allowed to bring a +1, thus me. At the house, everything was well and good until the home owner's cat made an appearance.
The cat was poorly trained and would get up on to the counter and sit right set to the FOOD. The owner would NOT shoo it away. It was a gross contamination of the food area, totally unhygienic, so I took the liberty of nudging the cat off of the counter with a backwards slap.
The cat owner completely lost it and started telling me off for "roughing up her cat" and how I had no right to lay a finger on the cat.
AITAH?
EDIT: To be clear about something, this happened a few times. The first two times, I gently shooed away cat with a motion of my hand right next to it and it ran off, but after it came up a third time, that's when I slightly hit it with the back of my hand. I would NOT categorize it as something that would have caused a lot of pain. But I did want to make a point that the cat wasn't allowed near the food.

Just checking please if any of you have had severe pgp and how fast recovery was?
I've been diagnosed with pelvic girdle pain when I was about 5 mos in, after I complained about suddenly not being able to walk my daughter to school without feeling like someone was stabbing me in the groin and lower back.
This was especially gutting as I have then been asked to stop doing any of the exercise I was so excited to finally start doing again after a shit show of a 1st trimester stopped me from doing my usual routines. Basically I got that 2nd trimestre surge and started getting back into walking, hiit and yoga hard... Which was great for my mental health but apparently ruined my pelvic joints due to relaxin.
Now I'm 37 weeks in and I've piled on 60kilos and I am really upset about it as my body feels so achey and just not how mine used to be. To add to the grief of it all I've been told by the physio that it can take about 3-6 mos before i get the green light to exercise again. I am literally dreading newborn plus preschooler life without any exercise endorphins... It was my only escape from the pressures of full time working mummyhood. 😭
Anyone else had severe pgp here? Pls let me know it gets better I'm in so much physical and emotional pain 😔

Hey all - got a quick question for you.
I've used Inland filament (PLA or PLA+) pretty exclusively with my Ender 5 S1 and I get really good prints from it. There's one thing that I don't understand, though. Say a print completes. I don't immediately print anything else and the printer and filament all just sit as is for maybe 6-12 hours, depending. When I come back to the printer, the filament between my printer and my dryer box will literally snap in two with almost any pressure at all - just completely brittle.
I can't see how this would be a humidity issue as my apartment is pretty dry (usually 30-40% range) and I'm using the dryer box as well. This has happened with more than one spool of filament, different colors purchased at different times, so it's not a bad lot.
I'm curious if anyone has experienced this with Inland or other filament brands? Thoughts on why this is the case? Like I said, the filament really gives great prints, but it's a pain in the ass when it snaps off like this. Totally open to just trying a different brand, if it may just be an Inland thing.
Thanks in advance!

So for context I’m in Arizona (a right to work state that does not mandate breaks at work) and I also have (diagnosed) autism and a (temporary) knee issue.
I’m working 4-7 hour shifts with no break. This is apparently legal but I get overstimulated, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, and in physical pain from my knee. The knee issue will be over with soon but of course my autism isn’t going anywhere.
I need a break. I need time to decompress and get ready to get back out there and deal with the public. I can’t be feeling like I’m going to cry and crack up at work. So I want to request a break as a reasonable accommodation.

1. Is that considered reasonable under the ADA? Can they deny it?
   
2. Do I need a doctors note or something to request said accommodation? Do they need to know why I’m requesting it?
   
3. If they legally can’t deny it but do (or terminate me for it) what are my rights around that?
   

If there’s any additional info you guys can offer go for it. I just really need some help around this because I’m about to quit this stupid job if I can’t get a break. Thank you in advanced.
ETA for info : I’m a legal adult

I was teaching a fifth-grade class when I felt a stabbing pain in my eye, like the back of my eye socket was being pulled by a fish hook. I collapsed halfway through explaining what sedimentary rocks were. A bad day for me, but a worse day for all the eleven year old children I left screaming.
Tests came in, and worst came to worse, it was a peanut sized tumor in my occipital lobe. Some days I wouldn't be able to get up because of the pain, some days I couldn't feel a thing but was completely blind. If I wasn't bed ridden I couldn't think straight enough to drive, so I retired at 27.
My parents took me back into my childhood home. My mom was broken between the joy of having me around and parting with her sewing room that she graciously gave back to me as my bedroom. I offered to stay on the couch, but she wouldn't let me. Bless her soul.
We moved out of this house when I was fifteen, and my parents only moved back in once me and my sister were out on our own, so I hadn't been in this house for something like twelve years. My parents weren't the type that would do their own home improvement and clearly the interim owners didn't either, cause behind my bed I found a lot of my old drawings directly on the wallpaper.
The giant Groudon stomping on a car would have made me about eight or nine. There was a drawing of myself on a motorcycle, shooting at the Groudon and smoking a cigarette. I could tell it was me because I always drew myself with a big scar over my eye, like Anakin from Revenge of the Sith (and I was a lot thinner). Near the corner of the wall was another drawing of me, but standing next to a door. It was separated by a foot of no marks or anything, all on its own.
That night, I took a whole lot of questionably sourced pain meds to get to sleep (A retired teacher's salary can't afford anything better, fuck the US). The ceiling started to spin as I drifted to sleep. But more started to spin--my ass. I bumrushed to the bathroom in a haze like a fat monkey on a slip-n-slide of snakes, finally hoisting my hips up off the ground and onto the can.
I was there for what felt like forever, but I couldn't go. The room was spinning less so I decided to try and sleep. Walking back down the hall bedroom, a large brown door stood in contrast to the off-white walls. I hadn't noticed it, but I had only been there for half a day and never went down to that bathroom. I thought 'maybe the other owners added an extra door to the living room?' That's where it would go, anyway. I decided to take it so I could sleep on the couch.
My eyes were pounding with pain and I felt my vision going. That and the pain killers made it feel like I was being translated forward without having to walk. The door opened on its own, and I went through.
On the other side was the same hallway, but I was flipped? As in, the door I came through was behind me, and I was walking back down the hall from where I came. The lights were all turned on, too. The carpet felt like alpaca fur, and smelled like it came right from the hardware store. The sconces were all dusted and it felt really fresh, almost too fresh, like it was sanitized for an open house. I wouldn't ever say it sober, but I definitely muttered "oh God, bad jujujuh..." I was really messed up at that point.
I walked down the hall and back around to the kitchen. Everything was missing. All the pots and pans, the knives, and even the oven was ripped out, leaving a pristine cement slab where it would be. But on the counter sat a lone pack of Newports. My mom had quit smoking when I was really young, but I sure remember that she got Newports. It was half empty, and ripped on the lip. I left it there.
A gust of frigid wind wafted in from the open backdoor. I slid it open another few inches to get outside. I was met with a completely flat horizon of rustling grass in the wind and dark clouds in the distance illuminated from below by towering... things. Bugs or spiders, stretched up to the height of sky scrapers. They were straight out of Star Wars. They walked on four thin limbs, holding up a relatively small, canoe shaped body with a spotlight hanging off it. The light seemed to scan the grasses as they grazed endlessly. Down in the brush was my childhood bike. A real bad trip, man. I walked back in and to the living room.
The couch sat in the center of the room, right where it usually would be, but without the TV and futons and stuff. I was too loopy, too tired, too freaked out. I slumped over on the couch.
I woke up in my bed, and my bowels still quaked.
After taking care of that, I walked down the same hall as earlier and, lo and behold, no door. I collected my wallet and phone and headed to the living room, where my parents were standing by the TV. It took me a few seconds to notice the couch was gone.
They asked me if I had moved it, and I said no. My mom had her hands in her hair and my dad huffed with his arms folded. It felt stupid, but I told them about my dream.
"This again?" my mom puttered.
They told me how I used this same excuse as a kid when I lost my bike and stole my mom's cigarettes. I genuinely couldn't remember this happening and they didn't really care at the time, but now they are mad as hell. They're saying I'm childish for doing this and "pretending" I don't know what's happening. They eventually threw me out of the room, and I pouted much like I did as a child. My head throbbed while I binged Markiplier videos into the night.
I dozed off once more and found myself on the couch again. The freezing air bit at my fingers, and I got up to realise I was outside. The house was no where to be seen. A few yards behind me, I heard a mashing sound on the grass. One of the spider creatures stepped forward and its search-light shone onto me. Clear viscous drops fell from the light and splattered on the ground. I couldn't convince my body to run. From under its belly, it extended a long, fleshy tentacle toward me. On the end was something of a mouth filled with tiny teeth that shimmered like fish scales.
The wet muscle rested on my shoulder and the mouth attached to the back of my head. That's when I woke.
My headache was gone, and the scans show that the tumor was gone. I'm back to teaching a month later. I don't know what happened and those dreams stopped entirely, I think it was maybe a form of my subconsious fighting the cancer. I don't know. Rant over.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/throwra_inhername posting in AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
Ongoing as per OOP
Content warning - mention of child death
1 update - Medium
Original - 20th April 2024
Update - 26th April 2024
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AITA for overreacted to learning about the true fate of my little sister's remains?
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My mother and father divorced when I was young. They had an oops baby together after my mom remarried, which rocked that marriage apart. That oops baby was my little sister. She died abruptly in an accident 4 years ago at only 14.
You know how people say the firsts after a death are the hardest? They don’t account for when there's no first to be had. When they should have been getting ready for prom but never will, it's a completely different pain. My mom and I were talking about it, we were both drinking, and she slipped that my bit of ashes I carry that I thought were my sister's were just regular ashes. Burnt wood. She already poured out my sister's ashes without me or my brother in the plot she bought with my stepdad.
She couldn't fathom my rage because to her, the sentiment and emotions are the important aspects, not that it's physically my sister. My anger is prompted by the lies and the fact those sentiments and emotions are attached to some thing NOT MY LITTLE SISTER, and I had no idea she cast her ashes on a plot she wouldn't have cared about. I screamed at her to get out of my house, locking the door behind her and calling up my stepdad to pick her up.
I threw the necklace out the window to the front lawn, then regretted it and tore it out of her hands when she picked it up. As she would say it I "made a scene" and embarrassed her. I kept screaming and calling her a liar whenever she tried to explain herself or get back inside. I was threatening to call the cops on her when my stepdad finally showed up and took her away.
He called me the next day and left a message saying that he wanted to talk about "what happened" and how he understands why I'm angry and hurt, he just wants to talk, but I need to talk to my mother too about this because she's a grieving mother (emphasis his) and my sister's death was a huge blow to the entire family and everyone is trying to regain our bearings still so some kindness is needed.
All I can think of right now is my mom's heartbroken face as I ripped my necklace with my "sister's ashes" out of her hands, or the way she turned away from me crying as my stepdad ushered her into the car. I called her names, I let my pain and rage take over me. But I can't get over the lies. 4 years of thinking my necklace had my sister, of thinking she was right by my heart, and it all came undone because my mom had too much to drink. How long would she have let me think this? How long would the lie continue?
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Comments
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CenterofChaos
Yea your mother is grieving. But you, her very living child, are too. Having your mother lie to you about something important is going to get an emotional reaction.
What you do is up to you. But I wouldn't let her frame this as embarrassing her or that she's a victim in any way. She lied about it, she got drunk and tattled on herself, these are the consequences of her own actions.
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TheAssCrackBanditttt
The mom thought that was gonna be a cute little anecdote. Wtf kinda person does that kinda stuff; casually just drops a bomb

OOP: It was an absolute mistake on her part that she even said it. We were talking about prom season and how hard it can be to be reminded of things that my sister would have loved. Then she started to say "I start crying before I even reach the cemetery sometimes" and she named it by name. I started flipping then and was like "what cemetery? Why that cemetery?" in a sort of why are we talking about cemeteries when we're talking about her way.
I kept pushing her for an explanation and that's when the whole thing came out.

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Update - 6 days later
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I gave my mother an ultimatum of either telling my brother and father, or I will. She refused to, because "you reacted so horribly." And she told me not to tell because "You're doing this to hurt me and you're just going to hurt them."
So I told them. I sat my dad and brother down and explained that the necklaces didn't have the right ashes in them. I've never seen my dad break like that, and I've never heard my brother scream at me like that. He was angry that I knew before him and didn't immediately tell because "this is shit you tell me, you needed to tell me, we tell each other everything!", but he started crying and apologizing to me, admitting he's just so mad about what Mom did and he can't handle it.
So I guess that's clearly something else me and my brother share, we get overwhelmed initially before cooler heads prevail.
My dad looked gutted but he was clearly trying to piece himself back together. He said a lot of the same other people had said to me on my other post: "we can get some of the dirt from the plot where she was scattered, the necklace has the meaning we attribute to it and she's still with us even if her body hasn’t been physically with us."
I feel bad because some of it my mom said (ie the bit about the necklace being important even without her ashes in it) but I was able to accept that much easier from him. Maybe because he didn't lie to me for four years and drop a bomb on me out of nowhere because I pulled apart a lie. He held my brother and I as we cried, and he apologized for the pain, and he said it wasn't fair that I had to be the adult when my mother should have told all of us a lot sooner.
Dad's going to try to talk to my step-father to find the plot because my mom has been refusing to talk to us anymore, not answering messages or picking up the phone. Her social media has even gone dark. He's going to find out where the plot is and go to the site. I don't know if I could if it were up to me. It just feels like the final bit of proof that this fucked up nightmare is real and my sister is mixed with dirt and rocks and grass of an unmaintained and unvisited plot.
My mom and I always had some issues, but that's normal. This is worse than anything, and we had a rough patch when I came out that we didn't even talk, but we mended fences after. I can't see ever forgiving her, not with how she dropped this on me, blamed me for my reaction, and left me to do what she should have done. To top it off, she won't even show the decency to explain why or even talk to me. When we were discussing cremation, it was agreed we would all get a necklace with the ashes.
My mind keeps going over things that just didn’t add up fully, times she almost slipped or things that make complete sense now. She almost left behind her necklace on a trip and didn't freak out like I would have, because she knew where my sister was the whole time. She volunteered to be the one to separate the ashes and gave dad "the rest". I assume those ashes are the same as ours, fake.
God this whole thing just makes me want to curl up in a hole and never see the light of day again. I've been on and off crying all week without being able to stop, or just so angry I could scream. In the middle of my damn workday and suddenly I'm rushing to the bathroom to hide the fact I'm breaking all over again because I can't stop my thoughts. I quit smoking after my sister died but I picked it right back up again. My dad has been calling me every day to check in on me and remind me of how much he loves me and how much my brother loves me. I think he's afraid. My brother has come over each day since the talk with his girlfriend to make sure I eat something.
I don't know how to end this post. I feel lost and like I don't know anything anymore. I feel like a burden because my dad and brother are both dealing with the revelation too but they're clearly thinking of me and checking in on me. I'm going to look into grief counseling but the therapist I saw after my sister died isn't practicing anymore and my insurance isn't accepted by a lot of therapists. I try to remind myself that my little sister wouldn't have minded so much becoming woven into a tapestry of grass and flowers, and that I can visit her once we know where she was cast and make sure her site is always beautiful.
Thank you to everyone that helped me and shared their own perspectives and stories. I really appreciate it.
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Comments
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Ms_PlapPlap
You mentioned she said the cemetery's name when she tattled on herself? Can you call and ask about the plot? It's probably under your mother's or your sister's name. Then you can visit and not have to go through your mother at all.

OOP: It's my mother and step-father's plot. If trying through my step father fails, I'll try that. I didn't think I could just call up and say "is there an empty plot sectioned for the so and so family" but it's worth trying.

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FamilyGuy421
I am head of a cemetery commission. Just call them up. We don’t care about drama, just information. The best of luck to you.

OOP: Thank you so much. That means a lot.

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I finally left home at 5:30; at 6, I was back because I needed a box 📦 to grab. And he was watching Pn. I saw him, and he told me he did it to upset me. I don’t judge him anymore. I’m numb. I want to be away from him. I don’t know this person. Maybe I never knew him. It is truly hard taking. I invest ten years of my life in a lie. He was showing all the red flags, but I didn’t leave. I was choosing “fighting for our love.” Finally, at 29, I realized that the kind of “love” he does hurts, and I don’t want this anymore. This is his true self, his identity. I’m mourning an idea I accepted for years: his addiction to pn and seeing barely legal teens. I thought it was normal. He said it was a normal thing that men do…. I’ve been so naive. I have pain; there’s no one to blame. I take full responsibility for spending ten years of my life waiting for them to get “better, “ and it got worse. He started hating me. Seeing through me. I became a house accessory waiting for a glimpse of love or attention…. It makes me sick to my stomach sharing this, but it’s the truth

I was married for over 14 years to an airline pilot turned captain. His seniority ranking I was very aware of his incredible flexibility and control in picking what his work schedule looked like. We could plan out our entire year in advance because of his ranking and ability to maximize and capitalize on trip trades. But now that we are divorced he is claiming that he is at the mercy of his job that dictates to him what his work schedule will be. What lawyers and the family legal system hasn't considered is that pilots and especially high ranking captains are doing the dictating and are not the victims. I am now forces die the next ten years until my children turn 18 to be provided only a 14 day heads up to what my every month will be. We can clearly provide the children, who are now struggling with depression and require counseling and medication, with as close to possible a week-on/week-off arrangement. I am a stay at home mother I can be completely ameiable to his work schedule. But it's almost a year since we have divorced and I can't request in advance 90 day notice to take out children to a concert, but in the last year he is able to plan, schedule, make reservations and vacation multiple times. I realize it is an attempt to continue to punish and continue to control me but it is getting to the point of affecting our children. I am presented with his schedule on the 15 of each prior month which I have no leg to stand on to contest so I acquiesce, but just to learn once reio reading begins in the 28th the schedule has changed and I am not notified and the children are left with his new wife conveniently found two weeks after filing for divorce. Although she is very kind and very similar to my accommodating motherly personality, my children are asking why can't they just remain with me if their father opts to trip trade for mere financial gain and leave them without either parent but with his new wife and children. I don't know what to say to my children as to why they can't remain until their father returns, why there isn't a first right if refusal to when they request to come back to me they are denied. I am afraid his denial of my request to retain then until his return is inadvertently confusing the children to question whether there is something wrong with me that their own father would rather have his children cared by anyone but me while he is gone for an extended amount of time. I don't understand how my lawyers and opposing counsel can't see the obvious transparency in my ex-husband motivation to cause me intense emotional pain and distress weaponizing the children. I don't know who to help me and why isn't all this is clearly deliberate and greatly affecting the emotional and mental health of our children and I. He already ran off off our court mandated, parent facilitator suspending his services due to my ex-husband’s overt noncompliant behaviors. I feel helpless and hopeless because my ex is literally exploiting the true intention of our divorce decree to continue to further control me at the boys expense. I can't believe nothing can be enforced or him to acknowledge and receive some deterrent to stop hay my life situations are going to get worse. Since the lose if out PA my ex is doing as he pleases and I have no course of action to compel him. How is this possibly happening that all these lawyers and law firms can't see a mile away. This emotional pain and distress in not being able to provide the children a close to week-on/week-off agreement. And why am solely reapinaible to incur the 20 k to file an enforcement and modification. I feel like I'm in the Twovht Zone since the moment I moved to Texas in the fall of 2021 and things are far far worse than it ever was being married to him. Someone please help me understand what is going on and how to advocate for my children without poking the sleeping boar. Sorry for the rant I just do desperately need some guidance and support.

I am at a loss of what to do in terms with pain. I had my surgery October last year and had the mirena inserted. I’m now in incredible pain every single day and though I don’t bleed on my period anymore, I still get such bad pains that I can barely walk and feel nauseous, hot flushes and feeling light headed and passing out.
I’m currently on a nerve medication (Pregablin 25mg) because panadene forte no longer works for me as well as 750mg of naproxen.
I tried going to a physio and they gave me some exercises which caused so much flare up because they believe the pain is now to do with my pelvic floor muscles.
Is it possible that in these months, that my endometriosis has grown back/they haven’t gotten all the endometriosis out when they did my surgery? Because everytime I have gone back to my gyno, she’s told me that it’s normal to be in this much pain post surgery and it takes a lot of time for your body to get used to everything and keep up with the pain meds.

Hii, so I made a few posts on this but I'm saying this here because I know somebody could maybe relate.
Basically in March 31st, I think I caught a piece of candy at the back side of my mouth which caused me to start having a gagging fit.
And ever since then I been to scared to eat. In case it would happen again.
And on April 18-19
I was biting my nails. ( bad habit ) and suddenly when I swallowed I felt something in my throat. Like something was stuck there. So I was thinking "it's gonna happen again. It's gonna happen again."
And the next day I still felt something there. I felt like something was at the back of my mouth. And I also felt something in my throat. And I was getting hot / warm flashes on my back. And my heart was pounding. And I though I was gonna have another gagging fit again. Or even worse throw up.
But I did gag because of it. And I still feel something there. In my throat AND the back of my mouth. But everytime I took pictures at the back of my throat. I saw nothing. And even my mum checked the back of my mouth and she saw nothing.
but I can't check down my throat because I would gag. but nothing is in my mouth or at the back of my mouth.
And everything I swallowed I felt something in my throat. And no matter how much I drank or ate it was still there. And it felt like it was moving. Or switching places.
Like for a second it could be at the right side of my throat. And the next it would be at the left side of my throat.
But every time I didn't pay any attention to it. I wouldn't feel it when I swallowed. But when I pay attention to my swallowing and to my throat. I would feel it again. ( BUT I don't know if that will still happen because I been paying so much attention to it. )
I'm wondering if this is goblus sensation?? Because it's scary and confusing because I don't know what caused it. It just came out of nowhere. And I'm to scared to eat. In case it would happen again. I've had no troubles with my breathing. Or drinking
But my mum has told me that IF it was food it would of went straight down due to me drinking. and she said that i would know if ii did have food stuck in my throat. but I can't help but be worried in case if it is food, or if something is stuck.
But I'm just scared to eat. and I think I've been having heart palpations because of it. and I think it's probably due to stress or something because I can't stop thinking about it.
I can breathe fine. and my throat isn't in any pain whatsoever. I can drink fine. ( having a bit of a hard time with swallowing foods because I'm scared it will happen again. ) but yeah.
I will admit that I have been googling a lot about it. ( which I know googling is a MASSIVE NO. but I couldn't help it. )

Before I start this I just want to say it’s a long read and will be 2 parts if you care to read on. I tried shortening it a few times and rewriting and posting it but it’s just not telling the way I want it to. I don’t know where else to post this considering its size.
Imagine going over to your exs house (if you’re on good terms with them and had a sort of fling with them) and they completely blindside you as soon as you walk in the house by introducing them to their new girlfriend! I’m dressed like shit, my hair isn’t done and I probably smell like shit too cause I just got off work. My ex gave me no warning and when I stepped into his house I gave him a hug that he quickly shrugged off of himself and looked immensely uncomfortable with til his girlfriend slid out from whatever shadowy corner she was hiding in. He introduced me to her and of course I’m going to be nice even though I’ve been caught off guard. Why be rude if I’ve no reason to be? He hides away to go finish some school work or whatever and that leaves me and her alone. This can’t be good (it wasn’t) she starts asking me questions like how long did we date and such which I don’t mind answering I’m just trying to kill the awkward air between us really and I’m genuinely trying to be nice here. My ex comes out of his room and calls for her to come back, I think that’s weird and really quite rude but whatever I continue on looking at my phone. After about 15 mins he nor she has come back now I’m like “yeah, no this weird I’m leaving” so as I’m about to get up and leave she comes back. I don’t ask her what they talked about because it’s really not my business but regardless I still decide that I need to go the vibes are just completely off. I get up and tell her to tell my ex that I’m going to go home I’m really tired and it’s already late.
She looks at me and doesn’t say anything so I walk over to the mudroom and get my things. For a split second I grabbed the wrong bag her bag and my bag are the exact same as I realized. I didn’t notice til I was digging around looking for my keys wondering why they weren’t in the spot I put them. It took me a 30 seconds to realize this wasn’t mine when I pulled out some keys that were definitely not to my car. ( I know, it looks bad ) In that span of time she had gotten up and followed me. I’m not joking she followed me to the mudroom and watches me grab my things. When I smile and ask if I was standing in the way or if she needed something she shakes her head and says no. So I continue putting my shoes and jacket on when I turn my back and she suddenly says “ you know, I thought I was going to have to be worried about you but I was scared for nothing” I look at her weird and ask her “ what does she mean?” She then says she thought she had to be worried about fighting me because I’m black. Now obviously that’s just entirely out of pocket, who tf says that to anyone? “ uh, no I’m not going to fight you, why would I?” She then stands in the doorway and refuses to move. I ask her to move out of the way so I can go but she shakes her head. She then starts just insulting me. Saying things like “ I don’t know what he saw in you, you’re not even pretty.” I’m so much better than you” now I’m like what is wrong with her? I’m just trying to be nice but she’s being so rude to me.
My ex comes out of his room and sees that I’m trying to leave. He grabs me by the wrist and basically flings me from the mudroom to the kitchen. He asks his girlfriend to go in his room so he can talk to me privately. She obliged(she didn’t, she was hiding behind a wall eavesdropping) now I’m really feeling on edge, I just want to go home what does he want now? He hands me a bag of things, it’s every thing I ever gave him in the two years we dated. Pictures, trinkets and birthday gifts all from when we dated. “Ok” I think “it’s not abnormal for exes to give each other things back once they break up no biggie” (he was my first real relationship, I had no references except for what I’d seen in movies) he then tells me that I need to move on because he has and she’s so much better than me in every way.” Now I’m confused, I know there’s a classy way of doing things like this and this was an incredibly trashy way I tell him he can keep it because it’s really all for him and his interests, he throws it away in the kitchen garbage. Ok, lemme hold back my tears, it’s whatever. I ask him why is he being so rude to me, I’ve never been this way to him” he then says “ because I know you think there’s still hope of us getting back together and I want you to know that that is never happening again. I regret meeting you and I wish we never even dated” now what the hell did I do to deserve that?
I know I’d been a jerk here and there but I always refrained from really showing my anger at him and always tried to cool off before approaching him whenever I was upset. He acted like I cheated on him for gods sake. I ask if that was all and if I can leave, I’m completely stone faced while saying this btw I refuse to let a man make me cry in front of them. (I really wanted to break down sobbing on my hands and knees) I turn to leave and when I turn the corner I see her smiling ear to ear I make a dirty look at her ( why in the world would she be happy hearing all of this?)
Really though, why would another woman’s suffering make you happy like that? Especially one you didn’t know? Oh but she did know me! See, my wonderful horrible demonic ex was telling her alllllll about me! Every pain he put me through every time I called him to talk about what have you. She heard about my family issues, my health issues and my depression struggles. I turn the door and I’m ready to step out when my ex stopped me again. “How long is this man going to make me suffer?” I ask myself (way too long) he then decides to really stick the knife in further.
He then asks me a bunch of incredibly personal questions none of which I think really should be asked or even questioned. “Are you on drugs?” “ are you slutting yourself out now?” And “ Do you have any STDs I need to know about?”
I’m in a bind I can’t just leave because while asking me these questions he’s moved closer to the door and is now holding it which means I can’t open it now. He’s incredibly close to me and I’m sure he can see how nervous I am. I answer honestly “ no I’m not, why would you think of me like that?” He then answers “ oh well because you’re not the person I thought you were” he then goes on to say that he believes I’ve been stealing ( never have, never will) well as it turns out this whole night was just one big ol sting operation! He was recording me in the mudroom with a camera he placed there ( there was always a camera in that room, I had noticed it was missing from its usual spot) and showed me his proof of me stealing ( it showed me going through her purse like I was looking for something to take, cause I mean yeah I was looking for my keys) he looked me dead in the eyes and calls the cops right then and there. “ are you fucking serious right now” I asked him “ yup, you’re going to jail” he said with this smugness that made me sick to my stomach. While I understood what was going to happen, I wasn’t about to go down without a fight. I wasn’t going to run away from the cops or something I knew that would only make things worse. So while I’m standing there his gf and him are now just verbally tearing into me. Calling me all sorts of names and throwing all sorts of accusations on me.
By this point I’m scared as hell, the cops have never been called on me before in my life and especially not from someone who I thought I cared about and trusted. The cops arrived and when they spoke to my ex they asked him why did he call them when I didn’t actually take anything? He responded that I attempted to take something so that’s why he called. The cops I think felt weirded out by the situation and pulled me aside to speak to me about my ex. I explained to them that I had no idea he was basically setting me up this entire night he had simply asked me to hang out with him.

I found out late Saturday someone I cared deeply for that I had been seeing on and off for the past year (we live in different states and he had so much going on in his life 😔) he was in and out of jail and his conditions were he had to stay in his state. Once he is out he calls me straight away.
He called me in Feb he was out but while he was in side his 7yo Son with his ex was killed in a car accident with her new boyfriend driving under the influence. He was in tears! He had no hope left in him. He was so empty and crushed. This is his 2nd child to lose. His 1st son when he was 19 died of SIDS at 3months.
I knew how bad he sounded 💔 I messaged him a couple days later and I didn’t get a response. I should’ve called. I should’ve been there more. His brother messaged as he was going through his things and then got my number. Apologised for not being supportive due to the issues of the ex. Said he told him I was the one and that we’d been cheated and can see for the messages how much we cared for one another.
We were waiting for everything to be settle so he could move back and then we could actually start to pursue something permanent. I’m heartbroken 💔 I feel so guilty. How could I not call 😔 I don’t know what to do. It’s a future call I’ll never get again. Someone I didn’t get to see or hold because they were far. 💔 How do you get past this destroyed feeling. I’m so much pain.
I can’t stop thinking about how alone he must of felt and I wasn’t there. I feel like I abandoned him 💔