I had worked as a GSA (Cashier manager) at a Target store and had an incident that lasted for nearly two days with a couple of Boomers.
One of my cashiers was cashing out an older Boomer couple for some items but as soon as they were done they paid with a Visa gift card. Well they forgot that they had a birthday card. The cashier voided the transaction but it was too late. It was in a weird moment where the funds were being taken off the card and if it is voided it issues a refund. Well these are not instant refunds sometimes. So this couple came over and had me talking to them for a hour as I explained the situation to them and told the cashier what to do the next time this happens to not void any transactions with these cards.
I told the couple that unfortunately since it wasn't a Target gift card it would have to go through the bank that the gift card goes through. Well they didn't believe me even though I had to go and get the day's transactions and print it out to show them it was voided. They kept saying they wanted proof and wanted the money back instantly. I kept telling them that this was the transaction and the card number matched. I apologized for the mistake even though I didn't create the problem. I brought up multiple managers who all told them the same thing.
Well they got tired and it was 4 PM so they had to get ready for bed, but the next day I was working again. They came back in telling me I was committing fraud and I stole their money personally. I called the bank who took care of the Visa gift cards and had them talk to the actual bank and had them explain what was going on. They didn't believe him saying that he was a scammer also.
Now I know it was a mistake and I owned up to it even though it wasn't my fault and I was nowhere near the incident but I was masterminding this whole con man gimmick in their eyes. Well they started screaming about how Target is taking advantage of them and we stole their money.
Security eventually got them to leave but they came back but this time with a cop. I had to explain everything to this officer and what was going on and the mistake that was made. This couple kept calling for my arrest and that I was a thief. After the officer looked over everything he tried to explain to these old geriatrics that we did not steal anything and it was an accident. They left in a huff screaming about how they were being treated unfairly.
It was like talking to a brick wall. Here is my favorite part. They bought $300 worth of items and the gift card was only worth $20.

I 16M, and my brother 15M live with my father 37M and it is a living hell. My brother and I are in a group chat with our mother who was kicked out of our property thanks to my father with their ongoing divorce. Their divorce started basically because of my father's binge drinking and he would begin to lash out at my mom and just act useless and be deplorable. The sad thing is, is he thinks he can spend money to buy me and my brother's love (Fortnite cards, video games, etc). He even pretends to be sugar sweet when in reality he sends my mom horrible messages basically demeaning her as a human being. He always needs to be in control, like with money, clothes you wear (if they're dirty or not), and what you do in your day to day life. As I'm writing this he invited people to this "cookout" with relatives from his side we resent, (uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandma). He also texted me saying "Yeah, I really can't, bud. I have my bosses out here and I need to impress them." when I asked if they could tone things down. He also has a disabled brother with autism who is non-verbal, and cant do anything for himself, (clothing himself, bathing, etc), and he, and my grandma just leaves him in the house whenever he has guests, completely disregarding his needs. Not only that, he gets mileage checks to take him places, but all he's ever at is his home because he doesn't take him anywhere. I barely use Reddit, I've talked to my mom about reporting him to the police for what he's doing to me and my brother emotionally, but I know if I were to do that, I'd be in foster care, and I don't want that at all. He has made Facebook statuses about women he'd like to have sexual intercourse with, while he was married to my mom, and he completely disregarded their marriage together at times. He treats me and my brother like we're toddlers for no reason, even though I'm 16 and he's 15, he hasn't worked a day in his life; when he was married to my mom, he'd usually dump his brother on her, and make her watch him even though it's his job. My mom now lives multiple towns away because of his antics of all of these factors, I have a high reputation in the small town I live in, I played football and basketball for my high school, and pretty much anyone in my town knows my name. Anytime halftime would come around playing football, he'd sneak away to go drink beer. This isn't the NFL, you can't be drinking at a high school football game. I'm thinking of starting over, and moving down to where my mom is at, train for football and basketball, get a part time job to pay for a car and my probationary license, and graduate in a different high school because that's what my father has caused me to think like. I've even had thought's of suicide because of how he treats my family; a year prior to all of this my grandfather died of leukemia, and he puts all of his drinking on that, he claims he's never done it before that, but he's asked me for so many years to fetch him beers. You know the "When son won't fetch me beers" meme? I don't even find it funny because of what feels like trauma hits me. It gets worse, he even said I'd be a good bartender even though I hated dropping everything I'm doing to fetch him beers. Some nights it got so bad, I'd have to give him two at one time. He has also talked behind my mom's back to her parents, and now they won't even talk to her. But enough about my father, let's talk about my "relatives".
First: My grandma. She is just as if not worse than him. She is a narcissist, she does Christmas as bribery for putting up with her narcissism, and if you don't do anything her way, she takes a present away. Not only that, but she hated my mom for many years as well (underpaying her, kept her away from my disabled uncle, etc). She is also very disgusting, she pees and poops in her pants, and doesn't bother to change. She laughs it off, like it's a big game, and sits in it. Her and my father died laughing as I was holding their closet door shut trying not to get scratched by their cat they pick on as well. She condones homophobia, racism, and transphobia, she always thinks you're lying when something needs to get done with her life. She claims to be a Christian, when in reality she cherry-picks The Bible. She also has disowned my transgender cousin who identifies as male, saying how "it's the devil's work on why he's transgender".
Second: My uncle. He is a failure. He has 5 children, 4 of them are with his current wife (my aunt) and they all hate him. He cut off his first born daughter and grandchild, only God knows why, he drinks, he says racist slurs, he pretty much discriminates everybody, and his opinion always needs to be heard, and it's usually about politics. He also disowned my cousin who happens to be transgender, which is makes him a horrible uncle to him
Third: My aunt. She is such a backstabber, she literally can't say anything to your face, she can't discipline her kids, she's a failure of a mother, together, her and her husband (my uncle) go bar hopping to let their kids (my cousins) "raise themselves" and she claims my mom has abused my uncle while taking care of him in place of my father. She, like my uncle, and grandmother, have also disowned my transgender cousin, and misgender him on the daily and dead-name him.
Last but certainly not least: My cousin, (a different cousin). She is a recently graduated high school student and has her whole life ahead of her, but instead rather tries to spy on my mom, and try to "relate" to me and my brother, when there's nothing to relate to only that her parents are divorced as well. Young and impressionable, but decides to throw her life away for alcohol and parties.
So in conclusion, my father's side of the family are hateful, bigoted, and live by their own rules based on their narcissism. They don't care if you're disabled or not, they don't care if you have a different opinion because it's always wrong and they're always right. You can't do anything, wear anything unless it's father approved, and you can't buy anything within a certain budget because he has to control money as well. My grandma has to have Christmas AKA the bribery for her narcissism and is probably worse than my father in terms of bigotry; disowning my transgender cousin, and cherry picks Bible verses on her day to day life.

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

I went to Miami for a week back in March to visit my older sister who I haven't with interacted with in a year and a half. When I got there, she took me to out to some great places such as the Florida keys, casino, steakhouse, etc. I had a great time and I felt like I was living in the moment as I am 21 years old. I almost shed a tear when I was in the plane going back north leaving my sister as she made sure I had a great time. After I came back home, I resumed to my life of living with my parent with a part time job and going to community college like nothing happened.
Two months later in May, it was mother's day and I got up earlier than usual just to cook breakfast for my mom. After that, I spent the rest of the day in my room finishing up my schoolwork as I had assignments due that day. My dad came back home from work and took my mom out to dinner, but beforehand questioned why I didn't get my mother anything for mother's day. He was very annoyed that I didn't get her anything and just left me in the house while they went out to dinner.
The next day, as I was leaving my final day in class, I went across the street to the mall and decided to go to a clothing store to buy a pair of clothes for my mother as I decided to giver her a late gift. I had no idea what size she wore, but I wanted to be sort of a surprise at the same time, so I decided to give her a $25 gift card to the store that I was in. I also decided to buy my sister from Miami a box of perfumes with her favorite rap artist on it that costed $16 as a sort of "thank-you gift" for all the stuff we did back in March. Later that night, I gave my mom the gift card and she was like "I don't even shop at this store, why would you give me this?". I was confused because I did have memories of her shopping in there, and I was just like, "You like shopping for clothes every week, I thought this would be the best for you." This would be the start of something really bad.
Two days later, I went to send the box of perfumes off to my sister and went back home. When I went back home, my mom found out that I went to send in the package and she was like "So you're going to give your sister something, but give me absolutely nothing?". And I was like "But I did give you something, what are you talking about?" And that genuinely pissed me off, but I was "used" to her behavior since she always acted like I did nothing for her, so I just went on with my day. Keep in mind that both my mom and dad are in their 50s.
Later that day, I took a nap and woke up with a phone call from my sister who sounded like she was in distress telling me to just "send the package back" because mom is mad that I "got my sister something but her nothing", and that would get me infuriated so badly that I released my temper in one of the worst ways possible. I yelled to myself that my mom was an "ungrateful asshole" and punched the wall so hard, that I accidentally created a hole in it.
What followed with both my parents coming in, rightfully mad about the hole in the wall, with my mom, violently screaming and crying at me acting like I punched her in the face or physically abused her, all because she heard me say that I thought she was an "asshole", and then yells that "IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE CALLED YOU AN ASSHOLE, YOU NEVER GIVE ME SHIT, YOU ONLY GIVE ME FIFITY DOLLARS FOR RENT, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ILL TELL EVRYBODY WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ME!!! GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!" she says all of this as she gets up all in my face and hits me with my laptop. My dad pulls me by my arm out of my room like I was a little kid and he was like "oh hell no, you're not going to be disrespecting my wife". He then basically tells me without hesitation that I am being kicked out of the house and was no longer welcome as he shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I tried, but you refuse to listen to me. I can't help you anymore. I really did try to teach you so many things, I don't know what went wrong with you." my dad says as he was now (and continually) talking to me as if I was one of his biggest failures in his life.
Everything happened so fast and so quick. It felt so surreal and I was puzzled of what happened. I had to process that, my own family wanted nothing to do with me anymore after what happened and I was already struggling to make friends, now It seemed like I was going to have no family as well and was also going to be homeless. To pause the story for a moment to give out my opinion, I have did a handful of things for my mother, such as take her out to breakfast at least once a month, gave her fifty dollars (which is the amount that they literally said to give them when I had to start paying them to stay in their house), bought her a $300 dollar bike that she kept constantly bringing it up to me about because I was using her old bike (only to barely even use after I bought it), and tried to cook for everyone a numerous amount of times. My mom pretends that none of that happened, and my dad will agree with everything my mom has to say and defend her even if I am in the right. Was I wrong to punch a hole in the wall? Obviously, yes, I was, and I even said that I was going to pay for the wall.
I spoke to my big sister on the phone, told her that I was getting kicked out of the house, and she offered to let me stay in her place. I felt like she was my last hope. It was very kind of her to do that and I thanked her for the offer. Later that night, after all that happened, I decided to check in a motel for a week until my ride to Miami because I did not wanted to be in the house after all what happened. I just wanted to be alone. I went back to the house to bag up some supplies of my own and carry it to the motel in the middle of the night.
The first night there, I could not sleep, so at around 7AM, I went to walmart to shop for some things in order to pack up. Day 2, I nervously asked a co-worker if she could help me with driving to my parents house (since I did not have a drivers license and was long overdue for one) to pack some of my stuff with some bins to send to UPS. She agreed and dropped me off to the house while my parents were sleep, and I packed up my stuff, then proceeding to leave it there to get it the next night.
Day 3 was interesting, but not in a good way. My co-worker and I went back to my parents house to get my stuff to send to UPS the next day. It was shortly after 12AM, and I went in the house as she stayed in the car. My dad caught me coming into the house and we almost got heated with each other. I remember him saying "I don't know how you got so messed up. I'm tired of you disrespecting me!" I said to him "You know, how am I even disrespecting you?" Then he raised his voice and I just ignored him. The last thing I said to him was "There's nothing you can say to me anymore, we're done!" I saw one of my little sisters coming out of the room, and she was so scared. I told her that I would come to her school to say goodbye and apologized for everything that happened. My co-worker wanted me to quickly get back in her car so I would not fight with my dad. We got out of there quick. She helped me lift some of my supplies, and I gave her $20 as a token of my appreciation for helping me, and she was extremely hesitant, but said "Ok fine, this the only time I'll take money from you, but you don't have to do this you know!" She also said to let her know if I needed anything.
Later at 6AM, I went back to walmart since I could not sleep again to get more stuff. I went out of the store and walked in the rain to mcdonalds to get some oatmeal while still processing the information that my parents most likely hated me at this point. I went back to the motel and went to sleep and then my big sister called me and said to not send anything off to UPS and to take it back to the house. She spoke to my mom and said that she wanted to call me. When my mom called me she was all like "I did not kick you out of the house, I was just mad that day and you hurt my feelings, you gotta stop taking things so literal." and all that as I was just sitting here to myself like "What the fuck is even going on here anymore?" She also said that they were looking for me and where I was staying at and I told her she can come pick some of my stuff up from the hotel if she really meant that.
That night, I had a talk with my manager at work and I told them everything that happened, and I was like, "Now my mom said she doesn't want me gone, I don't know what's happening anymore!" My manager had a heartfelt conversation with me and we decided that I would be on leave without pay status until the end of July only if I decide to come back.
I said goodbye to my coworkers on my last day there, and the day came when it was time for me to go back to miami, as I am currently now temporarily staying with my sister for god knows when to do a handful of stuff including getting my drivers license.
In conclusion, I really have no desire to go back to my parents. I feel like I have irritated and hurt them long enough, and at then end of the day, no matter how dumb the situation was, I still made my mom cry and that is a sign that I should have move out of their place a long time ago. I have realized that I have the same bad traits from my parents, such as anger issues and easily emotional. I had an anger problem ever since I was first grade, with the worst being in 5th grade where I would get into multiple arguments and fights with all the students. I thought my anger problem was gone, but it turns out that I just became good at hiding it for a very long time.
I had no real friends growing up, because I was scared of talking to people, and my parents did not take me seriously and did nothing to help me when it came to my mental health. They only cared that I got decent grades in school and I really wasted 3 years of my life after high school still living with those two, thinking that I was doing something for them while in actuality I (supposedly) did nothing for them. I want to move forward in life. I want to be out on my own now, since I was previously not willing to do that because I was so socially inept. But now, I am willing to try. My parents are unfortunately the reason on why I am not moving forward, and it's clearly obvious that my dad does not want to help me anymore since he is only worried about my mom and only my mom. My sister told me that it's best to go back to my parents because paying rent is complicated, but I honestly don't even care anymore. I just don't want to hurt anymore people ever again.
TLDR: In March, I visited my older sister in Miami after not seeing her for a year and a half. Tensions rose when I returned home and failed to meet my parents' expectations on Mother's Day, leading to a heated argument and me being told that I was being kicked out of the house. I chose to spent a week in a motel before going back to stay with my sister, reflecting on my strained relationship with my parents and anger issues. I've decided I want to move forward and leave my parents after years of disappointment, hurt and social anxiety.

I finally did it, I got it done. I successfully salvaged all of my old collection from when I was a young trainer. I got into Pokemon back when it first arrived to the states, I was literally 10 years old when Pokemon blew up everywhere.
I have a bunch of vintage Pokemon cards as a result, and my collection was rather comprehensive. I basically had a complete collection of Base Set through Team Rocket, all in 1st editions.
Recently I finished a big project. I had a very minty 1st Edition Base Set Charizard. I decided to bite the bullet and go through the Grading process with PSA. I am here to share with you the results, as well as my story. Hopefully it will illuminate the process and help others feel more confident about what they can or should do with their own Pokemon Card Collections.
I am going to break this whole thing down into sections so that those who only care about certain parts of the process can navigate better.
The Lore: Card and my backstory
The Awakening: The moment the community rescued me
The PSA Journey: How Grading fell into place
The PSA Scare: Lessons about the process
The Grade: Grade result and thoughts on how we got there.

The Lore:

As mentioned I got into Pokemon when I was 10 and the craze blew up in the US. My dad was a big wig with Toys'R'Us and so as a child I got access to a lot of cool promotional material and went to awesome prerelease events. A bunch of this material hyped me up for Pokemon before it even launched some of its best products, and I was hyped and eager for the show from a cool video my dad got about the whole thing, it was Team Rocket laying down some of the lore and their struggles they would go through in the show as they talked to The BOSS!
Of course I had the games, Red and Blue, one for me and my brother. But I also had a bunch of money saved for another obsession, POKEMON CARDS!
My Dad collected G.I Joes and Star Wars figures, my mom collected Beanie Babies, and so when I expressed interest in Collectible Cards they were more than happy to support me. Because my parents were collectors, I had good habits. I loved playing the Pokemon TCG but I knew better than to play with any of my 1st editions. My decks used duplicate cards from the unlimited prints of the series.
It also meant I got proper binders and thoughtful binder pagers that tried to avoid 3 ring binder issues, while still using 3 ring binders. This was an admitted weakness, but thankfully only a few common cards were subject to light damage from these rings, my binder pages gave enough room that they were relatively safe from the rings.
However, my other weakness was not using Penny Sleeves. Although the cards were kept away, they also did get shown off a handful of times. Charizard was always epic, and the card always sought after. So he got some time in the spotlight, but was always handled with care and after the Jungle series came out he was basically locked away from any showings as well, becoming a precious treasure kept in the dark.
After the Team Rocket series released for the Pokemon TCG I started to lose interest in playing. I had gotten a game boy version of the card game and it was FUN. But also burned me out after I was done. So I also stopped collecting around then. But I felt satiated. I had several complete collections, my brother even had his own full 1st Edition Base Set. I had pulled each card from a pack myself.
My parents helped me store the collection in secure containers and I stopped even admiring them a month or so later, my attention caught up in other serious matters.
My family and I moved to Arizona, and I knew where we kept the cards but never took them out. Eventually it was time for me to move to college and I knew better than to bring anything of serious value with me so I left my collection with my parents.
My parents ended up parting ways,, one staying in Arizona and one going to Texas. I was going through a bunch of my own growth and adventures so I wasn't there to help divide things up. I honestly had no idea where my collection was at this point but wasn't too worried.
It was my mom that thankfully had kept the collection in her mind. She went through a bunch of moves, as did my dad in Texas. Finally it was me though, that got some roots grounded and my life together, just took me until my late 20's. I recalled my old collection and asked my mom about it one day. She had to resort to her collection a few times for money, my brothers collection had become hers because he didn't care about Pokemon or the value of cards. Some of the best gems had been picked clean, no one giving her their fair value. I asked her if she knew where my collection was.
We tracked it down with my Dad in Texas, a blessing as the climate there helped keep the collection from any sort of damage. Although they had always been in a binder and always in secure containers, my biggest worry about the collection was the lack of climate control through out the years.
But as I picked through the collection, everything looked fantastic! I got my collection home and safely locked it away. However, I did nothing about it. I was scared of touching the cards or removing them from their binder. I had a grounded life but very little time to research the appropriate way to store or treat older cards and I decided if I couldn't do it right I would just keep them safe. I had taken a few pictures because an associate I knew had some serious cash and was interested in buying Charizard.
I took Charizard out of the binder, snapped some quick pictures, and gingerly put it back into safety. The associate tried to lowball me with an offer of a couple hundred bucks, said it wouldn't grade well, and we didn't do business.
I looked into what it might cost to grade Charizard with PSA, and at the time, the materials and website made it sound like in order to grade it, I would have to pay the costs of the value found for the highest grade just to get my card looked at. ((I would later find I was wrong about this)). But the highest grade for Charizard is worth hundreds of thousands. That would have made the grading fee almost $4000! That was not something I could afford just to see if the card would grade well, plus the idea of shipping such a valuable treasure terrified me. So I decided grading was out of my ability and forgot about the treasures as best I could. But I would wake up with night terrors sometimes and spend the rest of the night dreading things, was I making a mistake with my collection? Was it slowly getting even worse for wear? Did I have an opportunity I was wasting?
I had plenty else to fear in my world at the time so I never spent energy addressing these insecurities and anxieties regarding my collection. Five more years went by...

The Awakening:

Three months ago I was having a hard night. I was sifting through my phone and came across the few pictures I had taken of Charizard. I had the Reddit app, and normally I only use it for researching video game mechanics. But I was feeling inspired and confident in the reddit community. I had posted a picture of Charizard before on Instagram and Facebook but...those places are pretty dead! But when I posted my picture into Pokemoncardappraisal I was swarmed with positive advice and guidance! There were also plenty of private messages and I knew they weren't wise offers to take but I was floored just how much higher they still were than my previous experience being offered cash for this card.
Huge important lessons leveled up my brain here. We are talking about finally understanding toploaders, the metrics they judge a card over, how a card actually ages over time, how minty* my Charizard was and most importantly that PSA will upcharge you if they find your card to be more valuable than what you paid for.
I had been previously worried about things like "if I don't pay for the right service level, maybe they wont even give me a good grade" but knowing they would just ask for more money actually took a weight off my mind.
I ordered a bunch of penny sleeves and toploaders and began the slow and careful process of removing my precious gems from their former tombs and into proper protection that made it easier to display and store in a fancy new toploader chest. I took the time to carefully look over each card and try to assess what was worth sending in. The undisputable option still remained though, Charizard. Now that it was in a toploader it was much easier for me to scrutinize, and while putting it into the top loader I had a lot more knowledge under my belt and got a better idea of the condition. I also took a bunch more pictures to share.
The verdict was in, Charizard was valuable enough for the effort of a grade and in such stellar condition that it would be almost irresponsible to never try. I had the knowledge and experience to handle my gems responsibly and set to work making a plan.

The PSA Journey:

There were still serious concerns that had to be addressed. I had worked for both the Post Office and UPS, and I was not willing to risk shipping such a valuable card. Insurance doesn't work the way people think with shipping. You cannot just pay money and insure a stick for $10,000, have it get lost or damaged and then cash in on your claim. That would be insurance fraud.
These insurance companies will fight hard to avoid paying out in full. I have watched them fight bitterly against a $200 claim over a gold necklace that had receipts and everything to make value easy. But to these companies the value is always subjective and up for debate. So imagine the field day they would have over fighting an Ungraded Pokemon card!
Then there was the theft potential, so many extra hands and processes worried me a great deal and created nefarious opportunity, no matter how slim.
I tried asking PSA if they would allow me to do an in person drop off at their facility. But I was told I would have already had to have graded 3 - 5 cards with them before they even considered allowing me to use that option.
But there was a solution. I had never considered card shows or events. PSA has a newsletter you can sign up for that alerts you to upcoming events. I simply had to wait for one to appear in my area that allowed drop off or in person grading.
It only took a couple months and a card event cropped up an hour away from me. This was my chance. I prepared 33 of my best looking cards along with my Charizard and got ready.
This event had several advantages, one of which being a faster turn around time. Most importantly, according to PSA themselves, once you drop off a card at the event, THEIR insurance takes over right away! This meant not having to pay out money for shipping insurance through a carrier. It also means if you valued your card correctly and had documentation on the condition you would very realistically get a proper pay out as PSA understands cards and their value way more than your typical company. So if someone stole it or damaged it I could realistically be made more whole.
So all I had to do was fill out a Submission form on their website, but instead of packaging it for shipping I only had to bring my cards and paperwork, they were going to package it themselves and bring it back with them the next day on a plane to Headquarters.
So now the time came to make a big choice. *What level of service and insurance should I get? The service level dictates the insurance level. *
The service level called "Premium 3" costs $2,499. This service level gives an insurance value of $100,000, the next level is ((oddly)) called "Premium 5" which gives $250,000 insurance and costs $3,999. Charizard at a PSA 10 is worth around $250,000. I wasn't sure if my Charizard could get a 10, but this is where I run into a problem.
Ideally I wanted to insure it for the maximum value so that if something happened I could still be made whole. But keep in mind PSA does not refund your money if they determine your card isn't as valuable as you declared. They are happy to upcharge your costs to the correct value but if they determine the value to be lower you get nothing back. So I had to be very very confident in a 10 if I was to choose to insure it at this level, and at a cost of almost $4,000.
I couldn't do it. Couldn't afford it despite the potential, not at that high of a level.
So what I did was choose "Walk-Through" which has an insurance value of $10,000 and cost $500. Despite what the name implies, it does not mean you get to walk in your card to the facility. Just a name. $10,000 was enough insurance to cover the value of most Grades of Charizard, 1-7 are very comfortably under 10k in value. I could see some light wear on my Charizard, just the slightest of whitening on the back, and a small holo scratch that might be there but wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or on the case. I was confident my chances of a 10 Grade were near zero but I also wasn't sure how harsh they were going to judge my vintage card. Word was vintage is graded pretty harshly. So I settled my hopes, insured it for $10,000, and dropped it off at the event with my other cards and paperwork.
They had cameras watching their every move, it was a very safe environment to drop off valuables. They were being tracked at every moment, and it was good to see. They made sure my paperwork was in order, that my cards were in a Rigid Card Saver I, and safely secured the goods before my eyes and gave me signed paperwork of who had processed me and all that.
I did not have to pay a cent to drop it off. They needed payment information when I filled out my online forms, but they do not charge you until they finish grading your card.
That was that. I had done it. I had finally dropped The Grail of all Pokemon Cards off on its journey to get graded and preserved. My anxiety levels lowered a bit, but were still high. There was a lot potentially riding on this.

The PSA Scare:

I feel it is important I mention I had been using the PSA App for everything up to this point. Charizard took a while to arrive in the database as received. I dropped it off on the 18th and received notice my other 32 cards were received on the 24th but not Charizard. It wasn't until the 28th that I finally saw progress in the App that Charizard was received. It makes sense that the different service levels are processed at different speeds, but I had thought since it all went in together it would be marked received together.
But no biggie, first little scare over, Charizard got there and is being tracked. But then the 31st arrives...
I look into the PSA App and see it is in the Grading stage, it passed research and identification no problem...and now there was a picture available. Now when you look at these pictures ON THE APP, you will just see a picture. But when you look at these pictures on a WEBSITE you get an important note that I did not get to see, that warns "Scans are taken inside of their holders" meaning what they had shipped in.
Now I wasn't aware of this fact since I was using the APP, and the scan of my Charizard looked AWFUL. And it very much looked like there was cardboard damage, like something had picked or poked my card. If there had been a warning in the APP like on the WEBSITE I would have easily concluded this was due to a bad scanner. But my service level also said I would get "Premium" high quality images so I trusted what my eyes were seeing.
I took to reddit to panic, seen here Look what PSA did to my Charizard and once again the community came in with fantastic advice and guidance on what they had gone through. They helped me realize it was a bad scan and that there was a warning about in on the website but not the app.
I am happy to report that since that scare I have received my card and physically confirmed in person that there was no damage, my card looks as clean as when I had sent it in.
I chose the most expensive shipping for returning to me called "Preferred shipping", which ended up being Fedex. They delivered it in the middle of the day, requiring a signature...but they did not ask for my name or require an ID.

The Grade:

So now we come to the conclusion of my tale. After all this work, all this stress, all this community bolstering, hopes and dreams...what came of it? What was the result and what is my personal takeaway? Well my 1st Edition Base Set #4 Charizard graded as a PSA 8. PSA's website calculates the "PSA Price" for a Grade 8 Charizard as $10,600, with an "average price" listed as $11,104.50
So even though I paid for a service level that only handled cards up to a value of $10,000, and PSAs own price for a Grade 8 is listed as $10,600, I did not get upcharged. According to their rules, they could have upcharged me for the next service level above Walk-through. But despite going over, I was given mercy!
Since my card is now properly preserved I was able to take it out into the sunlight and give it a strong examination with strong light. Besides the whitening on the back, I also see a couple of holo scratches, although I do still have the slab in the plastic they wrap around it for shipping, so it could just be on that.
However, given these circumstances I find it fascinating that I still got an 8. Pouring over Grading posts and examining cards sent to PSA and judged by other users I thought for certain a vintage card like mine would be graded rather harshly, and that PSA would not miss a chance to upcharge me.
Overall I feel like I got away with a strong grade and was given plenty of grace, both in the value of the service and the flexibility the minor wear deducted from my grade. I have always maintained that the odds for 10 were almost in the negatives, it just wasn't given expert worship its whole life, just passionate respect and care. So knowing my card had a few minor flaws my expectations were steeled for at best a 9, thinking it would at least Grade above a 5. Hitting Grade 8 feels fantastic.
I feel like for getting this card myself as a child, and a pretty young one at that, and all the travel, moves and scares this card came out phenomenally. I am ecstatic that my super rare card is now ultra protected, authenticated, and sealed from a majority of dangers that worried me before.
I will happily continue using PSA, who has astounding customer service and a support center that contains questions and guidance about things I wasn't even aware I should consider or expect. The whole process can feel very overwhelming and it is absolutely one of those things that you have to just do a few times before it all starts clicking together in your head.
I am eager to see what my other 32 cards are going to grade as, and have high hopes after seeing what my Charizard ended up scoring, many of the cards I sent in were in even better condition. I look forward to slowly working towards upgrading my completed collections into graded completed collections, perhaps even entirely sequentially graded.
Feel free to ask me any questions you can think of, and I will happily answer. I owe a lot to the community for giving me the courage and inspiration to tackle this project despite the pitfalls and anxiety traps, to overcome all of the unknowns and do something worth while not just monetarily but to preserve a precious piece of Pokemon history!
Thank you for taking the time to read and experience my journey, I hope I have inspired confidence and passion in some of you, perhaps eased your own anxieties about partaking in the grading process, and to just continue enjoying this hobby we all love so much.
Speaking as a Pokemon fan and trainer thats been around from the very start of the fandom, that has gone from being an excited kid to an awe struck adult, it has been incredibly beautiful to see our community grow, to see the fandom blossom and expand into so many avenues and games that have brought unmeasured joy to so many of us. It is a delight to see the card game I loved so much has never slowed down and I cannot wait to continue sharing that love with new pokemon fans, my own children rapidly becoming strong trainers of their own.
Thanks for getting this far. Have a fantastic day Poke Pals.

In the movie Donnie Brasco we find ourselves in a gift shop as Al Pacino searches for the best way to communicate to the Florida boss Trafficante his interest in working with him.
"Look at that" he say to Johnny Depp, holding up a greeting card. The card has a picture of a sailboat and says, From one friend... To another. "It's like what we call each other, get it? The double meaning. A boss appreciates a thing like that"
"Forget about it" he says, "You put a beaner inside of here, then he know that these are men of men"
This is all I could think about today while picking out a graduation card. Unfortunately I couldn't find any sailboat cards and I think any quote from Donnie Brasco would be lost on an 18 year old graduate.
None the less, it got me thinking... What would be a cool quote to write inside a graduation card? Let's see what you got reddit. Give me your best/worst

My goal this year is to complete 7 cards this year, with a few themed cards being Hard Mode, Progression Fantasy, Self-Published, New-To-Me Authors and Award Winning Books/Series cards. Here is my April reading, a total of 17 books, with corresponding bingo categories with HM = hard mode:
Dread Knight (Dread Knight #1) - Sarah Hawke - A fun, entertaining high fantasy read. Nothing thought provoking but a good popcorn read. Loved the battles and the bit of worldbuilding was good with magic having corrupted the world, leaving a large population of Riven/demons for the remaining forces of humanity to deal with. 3.5/5. First in a Series, Criminals, Prologue & Epilogue, Self-Published, Romantasy, Published in 2024, Survival (HM), Judge a Book By Its Cover (HM)
The Abjurer (Journals of Evander Tailor #3) - Tobias Begley - Cozy, slice-of-lice progression fantasy in a magical school setting. The magic is super in-depth and thought-out, which helps to immerse you into the world. The story was fairly fast-paced and the action was well done and entertaining. 4.5/5. Self-Published, Romantasy (HM), Multi-POV, Published in 2024, Character With a Disability (HM)
Red Right Hand (The Murder of Crows #2) - Chris Tullbane - The sequel to See These Bones and this was just as good, if not better. Absolutely loving this trilogy and can't wait to see how it ends. Feels like a perfect mash-up of a darker version of Super-Powereds with the world/setting of The Perfect Run. It's a slow burn in regards to power development, but the story itself is paced perfectly. 5/5. Alliterative Title, Dreams, Prologue & Epilogue, Self Published, Survivor (HM)
One Tin Soldier (The Murder of Crows #3) - Chris Tullbane - Amazing final book in this trilogy, and I was so happy to hear that the author plans on continuing the universe. It was great seeing Damian’s powers grow, as it made for some amazing fight scenes as he travelled the Badlands with some regular people as well as Silk. It made it into a bit of a western, which worked for this world. 5/5. Dreams, Prologue & Epilogue (HM), Self Published, Survivor (HM)
The Dead Zone - Stephen King - I felt this was a mixed bag. Overall solid writing, as all King books are, but this one didn't quite have the payoff. The main murder-mystery was wrapped up suddenly and was a let down. And though I was less interested in the politician subplot, it had the much better conclusion. 3.5/5. Dreams, Prologue & Epilogue, Multi-POV (HM), Set in a Small Town (HM)
The Emissary Bard (World of Chains #3) - Lars Machmuller - Solid sequel. Was feeling a little redundant at first but once the mission to visit the harpy village started, the story really picked up. Kept expanding on the secondary characters but not much more worldbuilding, which is fine. More of a slow-building story, giving us time with the characters and expansion of the powers. 3.5/5. Criminal, Bard (HM), Self Published, Set in a Small Town
A Fracture in the Qwisdeep (Jekua #2) - Travis M. Riddle - Reading this book/series, not only is it Pokemon-inspired, but it seems like Pokemon fan-fiction, with just the names changed. Even the interactions with other trainers (Summoners) seems like legit conversations from the games / show. Hell, there's even Team Rocket (Facet) which are causing trouble. That's not a knock as I found the world to be vibrant and exotic, plus it’s a real easy read and it’s just a fun adventure. The characters, even minor ones, are unique. 3.5. Self Published, Eldritch Creature (HM), Reference Material
An Inheritance of Magic (Inheritance of Magic #1) - Benedict Jacka - I have mixed feelings about this book, as there were elements I really liked, but others I found only okay. Hence the 3-star rating for this urban fantasy with elements of progression fantasy book which centers on the protagonist’s efforts to learn more about magic and get more skilled.
For a start, I liked the easy but well written style. There was a lot of info-dumping, and the author had to include a lot of elements that will only serve the story in books to come, not necessarily in this one. I also liked the hard magic system, which is less often in an urban fantasy setting.
However, for much of the book, which was short, nothing felt like it happened. The MC would go well hunting, which was uninteresting, or made sigils, which also wasn't that interesting. It's not a bad book by any stretch, but it's just not for me. 3/5. First in a Series, Dark Academia, Reference Material
Bones of the Past (Villain’s Code #2) - Drew Hayes - Another 5-star book from Drew Hayes. This author is just so damn good. Though I liked the first book, Forging Hephaestus slightly better, this is still an amazing book and sequel to it. Had many different story lines but all were woven together nicely. Had multiple big fights, some with villains-on-villains, villains versus heroes and even aliens. As good as the action was, the way Hayes makes us care about the characters is simply top notch. 5/5. Criminals, Prologue & Epilogue (HM), Self Published, Multi-POV
The Library of the Dead (Edinburgh Nights) - T.L. Hucha - This one wasn't for me. Urban YA fantasy with a street-wise protagonist who communes with ghosts. Gets drawn into a mystery. Wasn't a huge fan of the writing style. Not a bad book, just didn't work for me. 2.5/5. First in a Series, Alliterative Title, PoC Author
Foundation (Foundation #1) - Isaac Asimov - Really interesting concept, of a science-based settlement being created at the edge of the universe to escape the collapse of the Empire that is predicted to arrive. I thought the book lost steam by the end, but enjoyed the story on the whole. 3/5. First in a Series (HM), Multi-POV (HM), Space Opera
All the Skills 3 (All the Skills #3) - Honour Rae - I'll preface that I really do enjoy deck-building LitRPGs, but I really enjoyed this. I'm finding that each book is getting stronger and stronger as well. I love the magic system, and the budding relationship between Arthur and his dragon. And I like the direction the story is going. 4/5. Under the Surface (HM), Prologue & Epilogue, Self-Published, Published in 2024
Tree of Aeon (Tree of Aeon #1) - SpaizZzer - This book was good, just not for me. I liked the potential of it, and being so different (reincarnated as a tree) but several things didn't click for me. I initially thought the MC would grow into an underdog hero since he was spurned of that option initially, instead he becomes more-or-less an empathic tyrant. And everything that kinda...appears. When he needs a new skill, it just appears as a menu choice. He also barely explores/plays with/develops his skills, and forgets about them at times as well. 2.5/5. First in a Series (HM), Dreams, Self Published, POC Author
Iron Kissed (Mercy Thompson #3) - Patricia Briggs - Fun, short murder-mystery in an urban-paranormal fantasy setting. I really like Mercy as a character and I'm curious as to where they take this next. 3.5/5. Romantasy
Voice of Mars (Starship’s Mage) - Glynn Stewart - It was good but with each volume, I'm realizing it's not for me. Definitely more political SFF than sword-and-laser, which I was hoping for. This book also had a mystery that was interesting at first but grew rather convoluted. Sadly I don't think I'll continue the series. 2.5/5. Prologue & Epilogue, Self-Published, Space Opera
The Antventure Begins (Chrysalis #1) - RinoZ - A little different of a reincarnated LitRPG because the MC comes back as an ant, instead of a human. Took a little bit of time to get used to the humour, which was a little over-the-top at times, but the MC is super competent, which was a breath of fresh air. The in-game mechanics are pretty interesting, and I cant wait to find out what happens next. 4.5/5. First in a Series (HM), Under the Surface (HM), Entitled Animal, Self Published, Multi-POV (HM), Survival (HM), Eldritch Creatures (HM)
Mayor of Noobtown (Noobtown #1) - Ryan Rimmel - A good reincarnated LitRPG book. Started off a little rough but improved throughout. I love a town/empire building book, and though this series will get there, this book didn't have any of that. Instead, it was the MC figuring out the game mechanics (including his "broken" trait that allows him to learn any skill/class if exposed to it) and clearing out the "Noobtown" of goblins. I wish the MC was smarter, but by the end he was learning to use the "unbroken" status better. 3/5. First in a Series (HM), Self Published, Survival (HM), Set in a Small Town (HM)

Returning to Manila for several months haven't been since 2018. Please catch me up.
Car Number Coding: I rented cars before and the Number Coding Scheme was very confusing when they asked me what plate number I wanted. Is there an app that shows what roads are prohibited and for which plate number. Just having a list of the road names doesn't help me much as I dont know the city well enough., a map with them highlighted would be ideal. Does one exist?
Longer Term Monthly Stays: Is Airbnb the best option to find stays week or month?
Ride share or Taxi Apps: What apps are best for Manila now? Is it still mostly just car taxis or are motorbike taxis common now?
Chat Apps: Are people still using Viber? What chat apps are most popular now besides Facebook messenger?
Jeeps: This always confused me and my memory is fuzzy on how they work. I pay as soon as I get in right? How do I know how much it is? If I know the mileage can I calculate the fare and just hand that to the driver?
Paying: Is there a minimum amount to use credit cards at convenience stores?
Has apple pay or google pay become more commonplace or is it still not widely accepted?
Internet: I had a really hard time getting internet service before without committing to an entire year. What wireless solution would you recommend that offers short term for high speed access?
Thanks so much!

Title: I am 31 years old, make $92,600 base, live in Northern Alberta, work in Forestry, and recently returned to work after a year off for maternity leave.

• All $ in CAD. $1 CAD to $0.73 US.
• I will call my spouse H.
• We aren’t looking to change spending habits too much, this was more a fun exercise to see what we spend and how we’re doing financially now that I am back to work.

HHI: $166,000
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: Total $76,431 (joint)

• My retirement accounts include a DCPP of $62,495, an RRSP of $8125, and a TFSA of $130
• H’s only has a spousal RRSP of $5631
• DCPP amount is from a 5% base contribution plus 2% matching from my employer, and 3% from me. I have had this account since 25 (when I started at the company) and have done the matching the entire time except during my maternity leave. They continued the 5% base while I was off on maternity leave, I had the option to get the matching as well but we couldn’t swing the cost while I was only on EI.
• RRSPs are mostly from excess benefits money. I have flex benefits and get an annual amount to “spend”. Before we had our kid there was about $500/month split going into our RRSPs. Now we do $42.30/month split ($21.15 for each). The spousal RRSP means I can claim this on my taxes, instead of him claiming on his.
• TFSAs will be our next focus once we’ve caught up on the annual bills from May to July - annual house insurance and two vehicle insurances. We haven’t been consistent with depositing into our TFSA’s, so we have $80K+ room in each.

Equity: The house is worth $400,000. We owe $303,000. Equity is $97,000.
Savings account balance: $450 in emergency savings (this is a priority starting in August to beef up), $2000 in property taxes sinking fund (to be spent by July)
Checking account balance: $5288.15 - we both got paid today so I will be moving money around and this number will be down a lot by the end of the day.
Credit card debt: $16,635

• $12,855 LOC. This is entirely from vehicles - before I went on maternity leave H sold his truck and we took a $9500 loss - pulled the money out of the LOC to pay off the lien. In April, we needed a different vehicle so we took $6500 out of the LOC to purchase a new-to-us car. We have yet to sell the vehicle we replaced, but when we do that money will either go onto LOC or into emergency savings. We’re aiming to get $3000 for the sale.
• $530 My CC. This is from not budgeting for two road trips I took in the last two weeks, plus some other overspending on random things.
• $3250 H CC. This is from overspending on groceries/gas and vehicle expenses.

Student loan debt: $0

• H went to trade school (8 weeks/year for 4 years) to become a journeyman mechanic
• I took a 2-year diploma program that cost $12,000 (including books and random spending). My parents saved up $20K for me to go to college/university, so I got about $8,000 in cash from my mum once I graduated as I didn’t use all of the savings for school.
• I lived with my mum while in college and H lived with roommates so his income went to rent/groceries/bills and I had basically no living expenses as my mum covered everything.
• When he went to trade school I was working, so I covered our bills while he was off (and he got EI and some grants during that time frame).

Other Info:

• H and I have had combined finances since we were 19 when we married. This has greatly changed our financial situation.
• I have access to an employee stock purchase plan - I have about $1400 in my company stocks with no plan for them at the moment.
• I got a salary top-up when I went on maternity leave. My employer covered my 1 week EI waiting period and topped up to 100% salary for 11 weeks. The rest of the time I was off I was getting $1158 biweekly from EI.
• We qualify for the Climate Action Incentive from the federal government. This is about $1200/year.
• We get CCB for our kid of $140.61/month. This will increase to $273.74/month come July as our annual income was less in 2023 compared to 2022.

Net Worth: $164,484
Section Two: Income
Income Progression (Post College/Trade School):

• H has been in his field for roughly 8 years and his starting salary was about $37,000 ($19/hr). Two years ago, he took a $20/hour pay cut moving from a journeyman mechanic ($45/hr) to a service advisor ($25/hr). He’s since gotten a $10/hr pay increase from switching employers and switching roles/getting a raise. H now makes $72,800 not including any overtime, which he does get fairly regularly.
• I've been working in my field for 8 years, and my starting salary was about $41,000. I have not changed careers, but I have changed employers. I got two raises when at my first job post-college from $20/hr (41,000) to $23/hr ($47,800) to $30/hr ($62,400). When I started at my current employer in 2018 I was offered $78,000 annually, plus moving benefits (approx $2000). I’ve consistently gotten a 2-5% raise every year (except this year - but I did get a raise 2 weeks before going on leave) or have gotten promoted and am now making $92,600 before bonuses. I get two bonuses a year, one is based on company performance and has been $0 to $10,000. My other bonus is performance-based and has been anywhere from $1200 to $4000. I got both bonuses while on maternity leave, the company performance one was cut in half based on hours worked. I also had to pay back EI because of my bonus income.

Main Job Monthly Take-Home:
Mine: $4768.90 (two paycheck months)

• My monthly deductions include ESPP $213.60, DCPP matching $213.60, social club $5, flex benefits $26, plus taxes $701.27, CPP $203.97 and EI $59.14. In September I usually have an increase in my monthly take home as my CPP/EI is maxed out, but this might not happen this year as my RTW date was the end of April.

H: $3687.28

• H gets an advance on the 15th of $1000 and at the end of the month gets the rest of his pay. His end-of-the-month pay has ranged from $2600 to $3900 already this year because of illness, time off and short months.
• H’s deductions include taxes $623.25, EI $78.23, CPP $263.07, and $61.10 of HCP, but we’re not 100% sure what the HCP is cause he declined his benefits. This reminds me he should talk to payroll and see what’s up with that. He hits his 1st anniversary in August so we’ll see if he ends up maxing out CPP/EI in September or so.

Side Gig Monthly Take-Home:

• I craft and go to some markets and things, but don’t make much after counting all my costs. If I didn’t sell things I made, I’d have no room for craft storage!
• I am working on a custom quilt that when finished will bring in $275.

Any Other Monthly Income Here:

• As said above, we qualify for the CAI and CCB. CCB is $140/month currently and CAI is $400 quarterly.
• I get $500/year from my benefits to spend wherever and however I want. So far this year I’ve spent it on clothes and hiking boots. I have $190 left.

Section Three: Expenses

• Mortgage: $950 bi-weekly - $1900/month on 2 pay period months.
• Property Taxes: Sinking fund of $185/biweekly (we pay this annually in June. It is $2250 this year, last year was $1950).
• Home Insurance: $1640 annually. We pay this in full in July. I expect it to increase this year, but I’m unsure how much.
• Retirement Contribution: In addition to pre-tax contributions above, starting in August, biweekly contributions will be $377 to H’s TFSA and $226 to mine. H’s is more as I have my DCPP and when H’s total is closer to even or maxed out, I’ll max out mine.
• Savings Contribution: $200/biweekly starting in July, we also will have a home maintenance fund and will save $425/month.
• Debt Payments: LOC minimum is $130/month. We pay anywhere from $200 to $2000/month. This will increase come August, and the LOC will be paid off in May 2025. Both CCs should be paid off by September.
• Donations: $20/month to the animal shelter, and $20/month to SOS, I also volunteer at least 5-15 hours a month to a local sports group and to the foundation my MIL set up after my BIL passed. I sit on the board for both non-profits. We also randomly donate money to other things, or go in on 50/50 raffles different nonprofits have.
• Utilities: In the winter $600/month, the summer around $300/month. Gas and electricity combined. I live somewhere where it hits -40C and +40C depending on the time of the year.
• Garbage Rental: $40/month, $120/month when we get it dumped - approximately every 4 months. We live on an acreage and instead of carting garbage bags to work every week or going to the dump, we rent a dumpster for the driveway and call to have it dumped when it's full.
• Septic System Inspection/Cleaning: $400/year
• Internet: $105/month for unlimited fibre optic.
• Cellphone: $70/month for H. I have a work phone at no charge.
• Subscriptions: Amazon Prime $99/year, Spotify $11.54/month, Patreon $10.50/month (Money Feels <3), PlayStation Plus $32/quarter, Kindle Unlimited $10/month, Crunchyroll $9.99/month ($60.95/month total)
• Pet expenses: Roughly $100/month for food and litter for our two cats. Plus $400/year for an annual checkup. This will go up some as they age and probably have to have dental cleanings done.
• Car Insurance/Registration: No payments we own both vehicles outright. Insurance is $1500/year for both vehicles, we pay this in May/July. H spends around $300/month on gas as we live 30 min out of town. I have a work truck so I have no commuting costs. Annually we spend $160 on registration. AMA is 262.50 annually in July.
• Paid Hobbies: Don’t have fixed costs for these right now as we cut them out while I was on maternity leave. In January though, we’ll each get $100-200/month for hobbies.
• Daycare: $900/month ($450 the 1st and 15th). This is slightly more expensive than some others we found and does not qualify for subsidy or grants, but L loves her day home and the caretaker is great.
• Life/Disability Insurance: $125/month for both of us. This is $500K each for life and $100K each for critical illness.
• Food: Roughly $800/month in groceries and I’m not sure about eating out. Since going back to work a month ago life has been hectic so we’re spending more than usual on eating out/convenient foods. H has ADHD and forgets his lunch at home or in the car every day which is a waste, so he buys lunch either at the nearby grocery store or restaurants. I sometimes pack leftovers and sometimes go get food. I’ve been trying to get freezer meals and leave them at the office so I don’t have to pack things back and forth and we haven’t been making meals with leftovers.
• L’s Baby Supplies: $75/month? We have to buy diapers and wipes monthly pretty much.
• House Cleaners: This is an expense we had before H took his pay cut, and we’ve been slowly putting it back in the budget on and off. Roughly $200/clean which happens sporadically as the house is a mess and there is no time for two working parents to clean with an 11-month-old butt scooting everywhere. She always manages to find floor snacks
• Family: We send my sister-in-law money on a fairly regular basis, anywhere from $20-$100. She always pays us back, but we treat this as a write-off in case she doesn’t.

—
Day 1 - Friday
2 am - L wakes up and I get her back down 3 times before 3 am. At 3, H takes her out of the room to burn some energy before they both come back to bed roughly an hour later. Thanks, L. Thank you, H I was getting pretty frustrated with our darling child.
6:30 am - The first alarm goes off and I grab L for a cuddle and morning nursing session. Once she’s done, she rolls around and tries to climb both of us to get our phones before we all get out of bed at 7. Today is a PJ movie day at daycare so we don’t bother dressing her only changing the diaper and then H and L are out the door by 7:15. I leave for work at about 7:45 after doing some putting around.
8:15 am - I get to work and my first stop is the coffee machine. I get back to my office after talking to a few coworkers about our social club golf event next weekend. I see that an industry-specific mentor cohort program is open for applications so I find my most recent resume (2021!) and do a major update before applying. This year one of my goals is to work on leadership skills and mentoring so why not apply?
9 am - I had a hard time finding a bra this morning so I go online and purchase two new ones from the local bra-tique for pickup. My total is $170 after my 10% discount for signing up for their email list. This money is coming from my $500 annual work benefit for whatever I want and I now have $20 left. I eat my breakfast at my desk - yoghurt and homemade granola today.
11 am - I have a webinar on caribou to attend so I log into Zoom and while it's loading, pull up our cashflow forecaster to get the payday finances done before the weekend. $1750 to H’s cc to cover some overspending/vehicle expenses, $100 to the LOC, $373.10 for utilities, and $450 for daycare. Total is $2673.10 I’m not sure if I should include the bills in the daily writeups, but ah well. Day 1 spending is off to a great start.
1 pm - I get the notification that my bras are ready for pickup. Woohoo! I get new bras for the weekend! I send $50 to H’s TFSA once I confirm the bank account is connected.
2:30 pm - Eating lunch now as breakfast was so late. Freezer butter chicken with broccoli. I only have 1 more freezer meal at work so I make a note to restock.
3:30 pm - I work on some cycle times for the log haul for this coming logging season. It takes me a few minutes to remember exactly what I’m doing and how to do it. I am super glad I came back to work at the end of April as I get 3-ish months of slow time to get back into the swing of things before work starts to pick up.
4 pm - I am struggling to do any more than format my Excel sheets so I figure it’s time to pack it up and head home.
4:30 pm - After picking up my bras, I go to Once Upon A Child for some cheap baby clothes. L is in between sizes and we somehow managed to misplace all her more summery sleepwear so I’ve been grabbing a few here and there. OUAC has a sale on, 5 sleepers for $15 so I grab 5 of those and 4 other onesies for summer. We have a family photoshoot on Canada Day and I’ve been hunting for something that’ll match L’s ribbon skirt. $30.45
5 pm - I stop at the store to check the mail and grab a 12-pack of mixed tequila smashes. $37.55
5:30 pm - H calls. He’s off work and headed to get L. I pull burgers and fries out of the freezer, start up the BBQ and get the air fryer going.
6:05 pm - H and L arrive home in perfect time as the burgers and fries just finished cooking. I have an open Pineapple Tequila Smash and I hand H one to drink with supper too. L also has a veggie pouch with the burgers and fries.
7:20 pm - L is in bed nursing to sleep after her bath while H preps episode 4 of Obi-Wan Kenobi for us to watch. We watched it when it was first coming out, but he saw the discs at Walmart last week and figured to grab them. We thought we hadn’t seen all the episodes, but so far we’re 3:3 so we might’ve seen them all.
7:40 pm - L is down and out and I sneak out of the bedroom. I start a load of laundry and find the two bras I couldn’t this morning and handwash them. I sit down with H and we watch some Obi-Wan Kenobi.
10 pm - I check my email and see one from a local photographer group I really like. I’ve done at least two shoots with all 3 of them separately before and they’ve now joined forces. I went to their open house yesterday and won 50% off a boudoir package in 2024. I’ve wanted to book in since they announced their group, so I go through their open spots and book for November. My initial deposit is $262.50.
10:30 pm - We finished the last 3 episodes and watched all previously except for the finale. Of course. It was pretty good, but near the end, I started to scroll on my phone more than pay attention to the show. I swap the laundry, shower and head to bed at 11 pm.
H’s spending Day 1: $7.54 for lunch, $267.58 on vehicle parts/oil change that we didn’t budget for. Normally we would’ve, but communication is kinda crappy atm, and I think that’s due to sleep deprivation.
Day 1 total: $775.62 spending + $50 to TFSA. Oof off to a spendy start for the pay period.
—
Day 2 - Saturday
2:40 am - L is awake again and not going back down. This time it’s my turn. It’s already been a not-great night, hopefully, this 2 am party time doesn't keep happening.
4 am - We go back to bed. Our internet is on autopay and the notification comes through for my credit card. $105
7:20 am - L is up for the day. I don’t want to get out of bed yet, so I cuddle H and L rolls around, tries to stand and almost deletes everything on my phone. Then she notices my boobs so it’s time for a quick nurse.
8 am - I run the coffee machine and get breakfast going. We’re having pancakes this morning. While they’re cooking I pop some milk in the frother to make a fancy coffee. TBD if I drink it while it’s still hot. I feed the cats their morning meal.
8:30 am - H gets up and I’m still cooking. He grabs a coffee and takes L into the living room so I don’t trip over her and the plastic container horde.
9:30 am - H plays some Baldurs Gate 3 and L watches while I sort through the laundry I did last night. I try to get dressed and none of my shorts fit anymore so off in the donation bag they go. It’ll be a summer of dresses I guess! I start another load of laundry.
9:50 am - L is ready for a nap. Just kidding she just wanted some boob instead. We go outside afterwards to get some morning sun. Hopefully, this will tire her out and she will go down for a nap later! She hasn’t been big on sleep since she was born and gets major FOMO so we have no semblance of a schedule on weekends.
10:45 am - I bring L back inside and change her into outfit #3 for the day. Her trike got rained on and she gets soaked when she sits in it. I switch the laundry over, start yet another load and then pass L to H so I can head to the store, fill the Jerry can with gas for the lawnmower and do the recycling. 20 L of gas is $32.78 and I grab two lime slushes for H and I ($5.19). It’s +20 already and gorgeous. Total $37.97
11:30 am - L is ready for a nap! By 11:50 she’s down and I head outside to mow some of the lawn. It’s usually a 4 hr job so I don’t think I’ll get it all done today.
1 pm - I head inside for lunch, we’re having tuna sandwiches. L napped for 20 min and I didn’t get more than half the lawn mowed. After lunch, we head into town to hang out with my friend K and her two kids. We met in college back in 2014 and have babies of a similar age so it’s always nice to go over and visit.
4:30 pm - We leave K’s house and I swing by Wendy’s for a cold coffee-type drink for the drive home. I try the chocolate frosty-cinno and it’s terrible. Should’ve just gone to Tim’s for an ice cap. $4.19
5:05 pm - L fell asleep on the drive home so I hang out in the car with the windows down for another 5-10 minutes before moving things inside. She wakes up and we head in. H picks a meal and starts making dinner. L is fussy and still tired so I nurse her and we hang out in the cool basement while H cooks. I sort through the laundry that finished off today.
6 pm - H is still cooking our dinner, I reheat leftover pasta for L. H runs her bath and I bath her. She’s still grumpy on and off so she’ll probably be going to bed right after this.
6:45 pm - H and I eat chicken wings and shrimp poppers. L has decided it’s not bedtime yet, I tried to put her down and she got a second wind instead.
9:30 pm - I work on the website for one of the non-profits I volunteer for once L goes to bed at 8. After I’m done, I head into the craft room and work on the custom rag quilt project. One row left to sew together, then to put the final 5 rows together, figure out my borders and start cutting all the edges! It’s not ‘due’ until mid-July but I’d rather get it done sooner and not have to rush. My SIL texts and asks to borrow $50 till Thursday, I send it over out of my spending.
11 pm - H and I both go to bed after some kitty snuggles
Day 2 total: $92.16 (not counting $105 for internet)
—
Day 3 - Sunday
7 am - L is awake and I nurse her a couple of times cause she can’t decide if she’s happy or not. It was a decent night, but she must still be tired from not napping much yesterday. It’s my day to sleep in so H takes her out of the room by 7:30.
9:30 am - I get up make some coffee and slowly start on breakfast
10:30 am - L and I are eating breakfast, I made scrambled eggs, fried up leftover sausage, tomato and she also has two crackers with cream cheese. H and I wrote up a grocery list before I sat down and he’s off to town to get groceries and fuel up the car before the work week starts. Usually, H and his best friend C have a grocery shopping bro-date every Sunday, but C and his family are out camping this weekend so H heads in alone.
11 am - L is ready for a nap. I put her down and fold her laundry and the house laundry, taking a few breaks to scroll Reddit or Facebook and drink more coffee.
12:30 pm - L woke up and is kinda grouchy so we have a dance party to elicit baby giggles. H gets back from shopping and we put the groceries away, they cost $374.03. This is actually cheaper than the last few times we did a stock up so that’s nice! Groceries include ground beef, frozen chicken, wings, fries, cucumber, tomatoes, grapes, bananas, yoghurt, frozen lunches, macaroni, Ichiban, burgers, buttermilk, perogies, frozen fruit, frozen veggies, gravy mix, hollandaise mix, and more. We’ve been buying more convenience foods lately, but I do have 3 suppers planned for the week. He also grabbed me a big coffee mug for $6. He got gas for $60.83, and once we unload the groceries, he runs to the store for bacon, 2 jars of our favourite cowboy candy (pickled sweetened jalapeños), chips and a Starbucks frappe drink for $41.93. I make some sandwiches for lunch for tomorrow so I don’t have to scramble in the morning.
1 pm - Lunch is Ichiban noodles for H and I and baby charcuterie for L - strawberries, grapes, ham, cheese, and cucumber. We head outside afterwards to enjoy the weather, L is so close to walking, she pulls herself up onto everything right now. She has an after-lunch snack of mown grass and dandelions.
3 pm - We’re back inside and H puts on Die Hart 2. L goes down for her second nap at 4:15 and we finish the movie. I wake L up at 5:45 so she doesn’t sleep too long. When she wakes up she makes a face identical to her dad’s and it’s hilarious.
7 pm - H is cooking dinner, we’re having eggs Benny and bacon for supper. I prep L’s diaper bag for tomorrow and we run it out to the car. I also put all my laundry away so the closet is ready for the week. H sits on the chair once we’re done dinner and both cats flock to him and spread themselves over his legs.
9:45 pm - I finish off piecing the quilt top and head downstairs to shower. L is getting tired too so as soon as I’m done we head to bed. H is not far behind us.
Daily 3 total: $482.79. This is pretty usual for a grocery shop day.
—
Day 4 - Monday
6:35 am - My alarm goes off. Can’t lay in bed today as I need to meet my coworkers at the office at 7:30 am. We’re doing a team bonding mountain hike and it’s a 2.5 hrs drive away. I grab a banana, toast a bagel, add cream cheese and I’m out the door before 7 after filling up the cats' food.
7:30 am - I get to the office, fill up a water bottle, make a coffee and grab a few things from my office. Almost everyone is there, and we leave at 7:45
9:45 am - We’re there! I’ve seen 2 moose, 1 mule deer, 1 elk and almost hit 2 caribou on the highway already today! We start up the trailhead at about 10 am
1:00 pm - This mountain is much steeper than anticipated. A coworker and I decide at about 300 metres to the top that we shouldn’t push it. The last km has been extremely steep and we’ve hit our max. The rest of the group has gone ahead and summitted. We eat our lunch with a great view and start the trek back down.
3:30 pm - We’re back at the trucks! 11.2 km round trip. We hit the road to head home and stop at Dairy Queen for a celebratory ice cream. I spend $4.92 on a medium dip cone.
6 pm - Back at the office. I call H and let him know I’m headed home now and he suggests chicken wings for supper. I’m down for anything as long as I don’t have to cook.
7 pm - We all eat dinner. L has some veggie pouch, chicken wings/nuggets and leftover pasta. I am almost too tired to eat. One cat keeps trying to get L’s nuggets so he gets in trouble and shooed out of the dining room.
8:15 pm - I try to put L to bed and she goes down for a bit but decides ultimately that it’s not actually time for bed.
8:40 pm - I go and have a hot, hot shower, my muscles are sore and tomorrow might not be fun. L and H party in the TV area, she’s pulling herself up onto everything and trying to crawl up the couch. Not sure where she got this energy from! One of our cats comes for some aggressive cuddles and pets and H puts his dirty t-shirt on the chair for him. Our cat loves dirty laundry it’s hilarious.
9:20 pm - Time for bed for everyone. Hope tonight is a good night and we all can get some rest.
Day 4 Total: $4.92 (this would have been covered by one of the superintendents but a few people got ahead of her in line so she couldn’t pay for us all). My card is also charged by the garbage disposal company for the dumpster ($40.43 - counted in the bills above).
H didn’t spend any money today.
—
Day 5 - Tuesday
7 am - The first alarm went off at 6:30, but we are all tired and don’t want to wake up. I nurse L for a bit then we get up at 7. I’m pretty sore this morning so I’m not moving too fast. Get her dressed and H and L leave by 7:10. H fed the cats this morning so I don’t have to.
7:30 am - I forgot to pay H’s other cc and it’s due in 4 days so I pay it off now - $93.80 (random Amazon purchases and my KU). I pull some chicken out of the freezer to defrost and make my breakfast of homemade granola, hemp hearts and yoghurt. I leave the house around 7:45 to head to work.
8:20 am - I get to the office and immediately get asked some questions about blocks we have slated for this Fall/Winter. I’m not 100% sure of the answer and have to double-check with my boss. I grab a coffee and chat with the head boss before my boss arrives. I clarify what I need and relay the info back to my coworkers.
9:30 am - I eat my breakfast while I scroll through online courses offered by my company. I got an email yesterday of one I’m supposed to take so I book into that.
11 am - I book H and myself massages, 2 each - one this month and one next month.
12:30 pm - I took a long time to eat breakfast so I’m not quite hungry yet. I grab my running shoes from the truck and take a slow walk on the elliptical to help my sore muscles. This morning hasn’t been too busy, but I’m having a hard time starting my next big task (cycle time calculations) so hopefully the slow walk helps some.
1:30 pm - I’m back at my desk and diving into cycle time calculations. H grabs KFC for lunch $24.12
2 pm - Lunch time, I’m having a leftover sandwich from yesterday, a grapefruit cup, grapes and strawberries. I also grab a chai with milk from the coffee machine. I eat while I plug away at the cycle times.
3:45 pm - I finish off one section of cycle times and my brain has had enough. I go fill my water bottle and chat with a few coworkers. At 4:15 pm someone comes by to sign a few cheques I asked for and I leave the office at 4:30 pm
4:40 pm - H grabbed buttermilk instead of heavy cream and I need it for supper tonight so I swing by the grocery store. Then, I head out of town to a colleague’s house to drop off one of the cheques. $4.95
5:15 pm - I check the mail, get home and start cooking. We’re having Skillet Dijon Chicken with Asparagus and Mushrooms for supper. I also make some macaroni for a side. H and L get home about 5:45 to the cats waiting at the door.
6:20 pm - Supper is served! It is delicious. L and H aren’t fans of the asparagus, but the chicken, macaroni and sauce are perfection! H also riggs up a tie to L’s water bottle so it doesn’t hit the ground every 30 seconds. We fed the cats at the same time and they’re not begging for food quite so much tonight.
6:50 pm - We’re finished supper, H cleans up and I bath L.
7:30 pm - H calls my/our best friend J via FaceTime and we chat with her and her daughter R for a few minutes. L tried to steal the phone and gets mad when we don’t let her. J’s daughter requests a morning call so I promise to call at 7 am. J doesn’t think R will be awake yet so we’ll see!
8 pm - L is tired and ready to go to sleep. I put her down, have a hot bath, throw in some epsom salts, and read a bit on my KU.
9:40 pm - Bedtime!
Day 5 Total: $112.17 (removed $10 for my KU - counted in subscriptions)
—
Day 6 - Wednesday
7 am - I nurse L, she had a weird wake-up last night so we’re tossing the idea of taking her into daycare today. I’ll probably take her in a bit later and H will take his truck so if I have to WFH for the afternoon I can. Try calling J and R and there is no response - I am not surprised.
7:45 am - L and I leave the house, she’s not coughing much and doesn’t have a fever or anything so she’s good to go to daycare today
8:15 am - I drop L off at daycare
8:30 am - I get to the office. I talk with a few coworkers and ask our admin if my new phone has been dropped off yet.
9 am - My new phone is here! Now to start the setup process, everything takes forever with all the authentication apps we need. I also go through all my iCloud photos and organize/save them to my OneDrive while the phone is getting set up.
12:30 pm - I think the phone is finally done. Now to eat some lunch, I’m having leftovers from 2 nights ago - chicken nuggets, strawberries, grapes and a Cherry Bubly.
1:30 pm - H goes to a food truck for lunch. $35.01. This includes the tip.
3 pm - I had some more phone set-up to do. Might be finished now? Get an email about the cats’ annual checkups and vaccinations so I book their appointments for August.
4 pm - SIL paid me back the $50, plus another $50 she’d borrowed earlier. (+$100) I work on the photo garland for L’s first birthday for a bit.
5 pm - I haven’t gotten much done today beyond setting up my phone. I leave the office and pick up L at 5:20. I talk to her day home provider for about 15 min about how she’s been doing, etc.
6 pm - We get home! H has cooked supper already, so as soon as we get in the door we sit down to eat. Supper tonight is perogies and garlic bread. L also has a veggie pouch. H tells me the old vehicle was sold, and the buyers are doing a payment plan. We will get $300/month for the next 10 months. A lump sum would be nice, but H’s coworkers will handle all the paperwork so it’s no more work for us.
6:45 pm - Time for a bath! H cleans up supper, cleans the litter boxes (we have 3) and starts some laundry while I take L and get her cleaned up.
7 pm - All finished in the bath. We head downstairs and hang out until L is ready for sleep. I mostly scroll my phone and H plays on his Rog Ally. L climbs the couch and me and scoots around on the floor hunting for different treasures.
8:40 pm - L is ready for bed. I put her down and read some more KU
10 pm - H and I head to bed. I washed and dried a baby quilt to bring to work in the morning for a coworker.
Day 6 Total: $35.01 for H’s lunch. I spend $0, and ‘make’ $100
—
Day 7 - Thursday
6:35 am - The first alarm goes off. It’s a new one on the phone and nice to wake up to! L doesn’t want to wake up and she grumbles and rolls around.
7 am - We all get out of bed. I get L dressed while H packs up what he needs for the day. I get her milk together and they’re out the door by 7:15
7:50 am - I leave the house. After H and L left, I did the dishes and packed up my stuff for the day. Made a smoothie for breakfast (yoghurt, flax seed, orange, banana, rhubarb jam, frozen berries, watermelon, cranberry juice and milk) and there’s lots left over so I pop that into the fridge for tomorrow. I need gas in the work truck, so I head there before going to the office. I have a fuel card so I don’t spend any $ on fuel.
8:30 am - Get to the office and it’s time to make a coffee. I have some things to get done before my webinar at 11 am.
9 am - I show the quilt to my coworker, she loves it and buys it! (+$100)
11 am - Oops. I didn’t get the login link earlier and don’t know who to contact to get it so no webinar for me. I scroll Reddit and my socials and work a bit more on my cycle times. I snack on some grapes and drink another coffee.
1 pm - Lunch time! I’m having leftover skillet Dijon chicken and macaroni. It is still delicious, that recipe is going into the rotation for sure! H goes to McDonalds for lunch and spends $35.66. He bought a coworker lunch as well, she was having a rough day.
2 pm - Chat with a few coworkers about different projects/things we need to think of for this next year.
3 pm - I have an afternoon pick-me-up snack of Brookside pomegranate-flavoured chocolate and a ginger ale.
4:30 pm - I’m tired and don’t feel like doing anything else. I leave the office and call H to see what we should do for supper. We decide on potstickers and veggies, I’ll start cooking when I get home. I stop and check the mail on my way home too.
5:45 pm - H and L arrive home. I take L into the spare room and we call my mum and grandma for a video chat. L rolls around the bed and shows off how she’s almost standing!
6:10 pm - We sit down to eat, L isn’t that interested in either the potstickers or veggies so we pull out some leftover macaroni and she goes to town on that.
7 pm - Bath time! H cleans up and does some more laundry. It just seems to never end.
7:30 pm - Bedtime for L. I read some of my book while I put her down.
8:30 pm - SIL texts again to borrow $50. I send it over out of my spending. I get all of the borders cut for the custom quilt.
9 pm - H has SING on so I sit down to watch it, he’s also playing his Rog Aloy and I’m reading some more of my book.
10 pm - We go to bed.
Day 7 Total: $35.66 for H’s lunch. I spend $50, and ‘make’ $100
—
Weekly Expenses:

• Food + Drink: 575.09
• Fun/Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $38.78 (includes gas for lawn mower)
• Clothes + Beauty: $200.45
• Transport/Vehicle Expenses: $328.41
• Other: $496.30 (CC payment, photoshoot, TFSA and $ to SIL)

Total Spending: $1639.03
Reflection:

• This was a more expensive week for sure. I don’t usually spend money on clothes and the photo shoot deposit was a random impulsive spend. The vehicle expenses were also a bit different, usually, they’re budgeted for but not this time.
• Honestly surprised we didn’t order dinner at least once this week - usually we do!
• Events-wise, it was a typical week except for the mountain hike, those are not part of my usual work day. This time of year is slow and mostly involves prep for the coming winter.
• This was a fun experiment to write! I did have to cut some things as my word count kept increasing and I didn’t want it to be too long - is this too long even still? Too much detail on baby routines?

TLDR: Ex fiance’s mom gave us $13,000 cash to pay off debt and gave us a $5,000 wire transfer gift, after $11,000 was paid back she is now demanding $14,000 for interest and to back charge rent.
My ex emailed me this morning threatening to take me to court if I don’t pay her back. We had been together for 4 years and were already engaged when we started living with his mother in order to save money to buy a house. She gave us $13,000 cash in order to pay off various credit cards to improve our credit scores with a verbal agreement that we would be paying it back. My fiance was paying her $600 a month (for the last 18 ish months) to start paying her back while my money was going towards saving up for the house and various other things. She had also given us an additional $5,000 as a gift with “no repayment is expected or implied either in the form of cash or future services” to help towards the down payment on the house which was wire transferred to my fiance’s account.
When we bought the house $14,500 came from my bank account, $5,400 came from my 401K and nothing from his accounts. We broke up about a year after we moved into the house and it was very civil with verbal agreements that he would finish paying off what was owed to his mother, I could keep the house and he would continue making mortgage payments until I was able to find roommates. A few weeks later this changed and I was told that he would no longer be making payments towards the house that his mother wanted $11,000 from me for the initial cash she had given us to pay off debt. I started working 60 hours a week and his mother said that if I paid her back $10,000 that would be fine. I still wasn’t able to afford the house on my own so I recommended we just sell the house, which we did. It is officially sold and we split 50/50 with us each getting $8,500.
The day the paperwork was signed stating how much we were going to each be receiving she said that I actually owed her $12,500. According to her, this is because I had to pay for the $5,000 gift as well. At the time I didn’t realize that my ex had paid back roughly $11,000 and so I said I thought $7,000 would be fair because she did help us out a lot and I could pay that out of the house money and my ex could pay the rest. She said I would have to discuss that with her son, which I did and he said he’d cover whatever was left. After this, she called me back saying I actually owe her $14,000 because she was going to back charge me rent as well as interest on the initial money given. At that point I stopped responding to calls, texts or emails because I don’t feel comfortable giving her anything now because I believe that it will never end.
After doing the math and realizing he had already paid back nearly $11,000 (my money was going to various other bills) and she was now demanding $14,000 because of interest and back charging rent I don't know what to do. I have a letter she had sent to the mortgage company that she signed stating that we had been residing at her residence “rent free” for the year and a half before we moved into the house so I don’t think she can back charge the rent. The $5,000 I don’t think is my responsibility because 1. It went to my ex’s account directly and 2. I have the document for the wire transfer stating it as a gift. Can she force me to pay the full initial $13,000 though? He would make withdrawals from his account and was paying her cash so I don’t have any way to prove where that money was actually going. So because she can prove that I deposited the cash into my account and I can’t prove anything was paid back I’m nervous and not sure what to do. I live in Florida btw.
Any and all advice would be appreciated and I can give more information if it's needed. Thank you!

About GameChanger:
We believe in the life-changing impact youth sports have on and off the field because they encourage leadership, teamwork, responsibility, and confidence—important life lessons that have the power to propel our youth toward meaningful futures. We recognize that without coaches, parents, and volunteers, organized youth sports could not exist. By building the first and best place to experience the youth sports moments important to our community, we are helping families elevate the next generation through youth sports.
So if you love sports and their community-building potential, or building cool products is your sport, GameChanger is the team for you. We are a remote-first, dynamic tech company based in New York City, and we are solving some of the biggest challenges in youth sports today.
Why We’re Different
Whether this is the first job description or the hundredth one you’ve read, that’s what you’re thinking: is this just the same old senior analyst job description….zzzz. Well it’s not because at GameChanger we have TACOs! At GameChanger, we love our virtual tacos**; it’s how we show appreciation to our teammates (50K+ tacos given!) for the great work they’re doing! Here are some 🌮worthy actions:

• Building a subscription level MRR model so we know what channels are driving new MRR…P Rao and Steffi in Finance will lob you a 🌮!
  
• Helping build out and analyzing a pricing and packaging experiment on an optimal trial length…Chase and Kyle on Growth will make it rain 🌮s!
  
• Building out automated refunds reporting to see what kind of users are requesting refunds…Sam in Accounting will credit you a 🌮!
  
• Telling a good dad joke…I’ll give you a 🌮 and enter it into our dad-abase!
  

Now let’s 🌮bout the role!
T: Tracking and Technology
We’re looking for somebody who’s excited to continuously help improve and optimize our tech stack and tracking. Some examples of this:

• Working cross-functionally with Data/Analytics Engineers, Growth, and Finance to improve our subscription data quality from our payment processors (App store, Play store, Recurly) and consolidate them into a unified data model.
  
• Partner closely with our Growth engineers and product manager to set up subscription funnel related experiments.
  
• Providing guidance on Snowplow front-end tracking for our web and mobile app subscription experience.
  

A: Analytics and Advise
GameChanger analysts are versatile and technical, but their mission isn’t to just serve up dashboards, set up tracking, or run experiments. This work is done as a prerequisite to advise our business partners on a course of action. Here are some projects you’d work on:

• Building and enhancing a subscription level MRR Model (using that higher quality data you helped set up) to help us answer questions like: how often do paid users move between subscription plan types?
  
• Helping ideate, execute, and measure experiments designed to understand what drives new user subscriptions, churn, retention and CLV.
  
• Creating user-level statistical models to help identify users who are likely to churn and recommending tactics to reduce churn.
  
• Working with Finance to build models to forecast revenue and KPIs by key dimensions and proactively diagnosing and providing hypotheses around unexpected changes in performance against forecast.
  

C: Communication
At GameChanger, data is becoming our lingua franca and you’ll help spread the word of data by:

• Establishing a common vocabulary by defining metrics and dimensions and teaching others how to understand and use that shared vocabulary.
  
• Actively listening to others so you can continuously build and improve our data knowledge and know-how.
  
• Sharing what you know by educating business stakeholders and other analysts.
  
• Owning the prioritization process for Subscriptions and Finance analytics projects.
  

O: Organizations
At GameChanger, our people and culture are our differentiator, so it’s important you know who you’ll be working with on a daily basis:

• Growth Team: Our Growth team owns the GameChanger subscription funnel and the experimentation process. It’s made up of a special group of product managers, designers, engineers, and QA.
  
• Finance: Yes they care about $$$ and funny acronyms like EBITDA and ARPU. But they’re also strategic operators who understand GameChanger’s core business levers and work closely with teams to ensure we’re optimizing our business and customer experience.
  
• Data and Analytics (DNA): Our team has established processes and infrastructure that allow analysts to focus on doing the work rather than constantly dealing with data fires. Plus we’re really fun, love tacos and karaoke!
  

Who You Are:

• Experience in subscription analytics in a B2B and B2C SaaS subscription based environment
  
• Deep experimentation experience
  
• Expert in SQL and working with relational databases (window functions, CTEs)
  
• Experience with BI tools and data visualization
  
• Experience with programming languages like Python or R
  
• Experience working with Snowplow or other tracking solutions
  
• Experience with engineering development processes (Git, code review, version control)
  
• Written and verbal communication skills with technical/non-technical colleagues
  
• Comfortable with answering unstructured business questions.
  
• Ability to work independently and be self-directed while also working within a collaborative team environment.
  
• Experience in a cross-functional and stakeholder-focused data role
  

Bonus Qualifications:

• Proficient in our current data tech stack: Snowflake, Hex, Snowplow, dbt, Statsig, Looker
  
• Experience working directly with raw payment processing data
  

Perks:

• Work remotely throughout the US* or from our well-furnished, modern office in Manhattan, NY.
  
• Unlimited vacation policy.
  
• Paid volunteer opportunities.
  
• WFH stipend - $500 annually to make your WFH situation comfortable.
  
• Snack stipend - $60 monthly to have snacks shipped to your home office.
  
• Full health benefits - medical, dental, vision, prescription, FSA/HRA., and coverage for family/dependents.
  
• Life insurance - basic life, supplemental life, and dependent life.
  
• Disability leave - short-term disability and long-term disability.
  
• Retirement savings - 401K plan offered through Vanguard, with a company match.
  
• Company paid access to a wellness platform to support mental, financial and physical wellbeing.
  
• Generous parental leave.
  
• DICK’S Sporting Goods Teammate Discount.
  
• TACOS!
  

We are an equal opportunity employer and value diversity in our company. We do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, color, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, age, marital status, veteran status, or disability status.
The target salary range for this position is between $130,000 and $150,000. This is part of a total compensation package that includes incentive, equity, and benefits for eligible roles. Individual pay may vary from the target range and is determined by several factors including experience, internal pay equity, and other relevant business considerations. We constantly review all teammate pay to ensure a great compensation package that is fair and equal across the board.
*DICK'S Sporting Goods has company-wide practices to monitor and protect us from compliance and monetary implications as it pertains to employer state tax liabilities. Due to said guidelines put in place, we are unable to hire in AK, DE, HI, IA, LA, MS, MT, OK, and SC.
**We have a 🌮-nomy, a place where tacos can actually buy you something real at our Taco Shop like a Starbucks or Dick’s Sporting Goods gift card. Though we’re 100% remote, when we meet in person, somebody might actually give you a real taco for you to sink your teeth into because they’re so happy to see you.

Gay male 29 , the other guys is same and my age to...
Hi guys, welp there is a lot to say about this, my mental health today is in a really bad place so id like to talk to someone here about this, in fact i'd like to read the many in depth opinions of redditors for clarity, please leave yr honest thoughts about this other guys behaviour...help tell me what do you think was going on in his head?
i wrote this back in february , (time when it happened), and fundamentally i feel like absolute crap, last night i didnt even sleep till 6am, stressed at the thought of this guys exposing the conversation we had and of him mocking me ,plus me seeing on social media him constantly living the high life abroad with his partner crushes me, their families all happy, adding each other even though they live in different countries, liking, commenting and hearting each others stuff, and i know (this i dont believe, i am absolutely certain off » his mother to be an extremely `fake arrogant and cruel woman (she bullied other adults, including a woman I know, who has a disabled kid saying "well if he turned out that way, you weren't good enough of a mother while he was in the womb" or something similar, all whilst masking her own toxic addictions (she smokes blunts like a skunk and drinks like a fish), and the "hilarious" part is, one of her own kids has down syndrome -_-... like bruh come on, it takes a special kind of evil to act the way she does..)
in fact, a lot of these people here, these super social BY DEFAULT , are all pretty much a complete bunch of bullies, (read on and you'll see why i say bullies) and worse.. those people never get their just comeuppance, they can harass, abuse, slander, bully and steal from people (and i picked each of those words VERY carefully regarding this family and group of people)... and nothing, and he himself, will NEVER suffer or have any type of difficulty in life whatsoever. As I later came to discover in fact he is *super* priveleged (obvs not why i ever had feelings for him at all, we can't control who we fall for, and believe me it hurts knowing he most likely is laughing\ridiculing my messages to him, probably shared it with tones of people ... or if not, at least must think i'm a sick weirdo cause of things said about me, this is where i am now, but here is what happened ...
So basically over 12 years ago, i moved from one country to a small town in another when i was a preteen with my parents, and i went through really bad forms of bullying for being really quiet , which was cause of being uncomfortable around conservative people, as well as being in a completely new country, and struggling with my own image of self and self confidence too, so of course not everyone here treated me badly, had I of been straight and confident i'd of been fine, but i can't choose how i am and as i was born differently, and couldn't socially mask like him, the vast majority of students in school did, when they found out i was gay ohh that was the icing on the cake to amplify my abuse...so this guy i've deeply loved is close friends with a bunch of my bullies, not necessarily the worst of them, but nonetheless since the town in pretty small, most people knew each other and especially from our age range would be linked to one another socially one way or another, they would join in with the stares, the taunts, the shouting at me as i entered the school gates, the pointing, the spreading nasty things about me, knowing i wouldnt stand up for myself and speak up, they judged me without even knowing me, or on the basis of knowing 3 things about me...name, nationality and sexual preference... though i dont recall him doing anything himself, he must of heard of me for sure, my name was spread along with vile lies like wildfire here, being gay wasn't exactly like being gay in the US, UK or say Australia, and being anxious and not being in big groups of people, I was their perfect punching bag. Just going on his insta it has tones of photos of him with some of those people on travels...
Sad thing, i genuinely liked him and still feel a certain way that hurts, looking at him around school he seemed like a really nice, social, attractive, and cultured guy, he did one of those erasmus exchange programs too back then, where he lived i think half a year in the United states, i'm not american but im from a diff culture to where we live /or lived since he moved last year, and so i remember seeing him and thought, he'd probably like talking to me since i'm from a diff country too, ya know exchanging experiences that sorta stuff ..oh mother*** how wrong was I...... may i just add a strange thing for me was..when peoole of this other country i moved too and still live in, would just blurp out phrases in my native tongue, many out of context, they'd be seen as cool for it, they thought my culture was interesting, would rush to adopt to certain things about it, or wanting to travel there and boast, but me who was exactly from that place, was rejected and mistreated, kinda like blackphising id say...in the sense a bunch of people who aren't black will mimic some of the aesthetic, unique vocabulary, like sayings , the music, getting praised for it, all whilst mistreating actual black people, this just to examplify.
Fastforward 12 or so years, some old friends mentioned his name to me recently, and i just thought to simply look him up on social media, see what he looks like now, perhaps he had moved to the states, i know he loved that culture... i never thought deep down he could actually be gay like me, when i saw on his insta that he is in a relationship with another man, posts by his partner (who tags him like there's no tomorrow) about "our 1 year anniversary, i'm so blessed to have you in my life" ..."best birthday gifts ever, omg i was even entitled to an intense massage at a spa....🤮 i physically wanted to throw up ...i felt what i can only describe as a manic volcano of spinning emotions, i was so angry i wanted to cry, to punch something, i wanted vomit, i felt cheated by life, rejected once more, its like you spend all these years suffering for being gay and then the moment you know the one guy would simply by being a decent friend no.. just a support human, is taken away from me, i'm not accepted in my own kinds eyes, and now he is with this foreigner, who btw also talks my language, they both do, but .. you guessed it, isn't naturally from my home country ... and i'm sure he adores the fact he speaks it, again, i'm the og and am not even treated like a human... seeing how the guy i love was super popular and incredibly privileged , no one cares he be gay or not, there will always be people there for him, and i was treated like absolutely cow shit...this all in february ...
Well i made an anon instagramm profile the following day, to pretty respectfully reach out (meaning I assured the person i knew it was a pretty odd and bold thing to do, just msg them like that, and didn’t wanna freak him out or make him uncomfortable) to confess how i had strong feelings for him years ago and having seen his profile, knowing he is gay, i so regret never having done what i wanted to then out of fear and because of other people, which was speak to him face to face, i said in that msg, we could have been friends , maybe id even be in the position yr bf is if we had met, or you not even like me at all, fair play, but i'll never know...and never knowing , KILLS ME for what i was forced to deal with in silence, his boyfriend, most likely another super socially privileged guy, knows nothing of pain, of carrying weights, he was poor with a silver spoon.
back to that first message, so he responded to the message request, (on insta, when u send a message the other person has to accept the initial one, otherwise u cant private message them more) though he was caught off guard when he did, cause before accepting it, i just post "hey ---his name, how r u?" Then the rest straight after he accepted it,.. i did it all anonymously and explained to him it was because of initial fear of being ridiculed, as i had unlike him, dealt with discrimination and lost friends over my identity (all true, all things i mentioned to him), at first his responses seemed somewhat "politically correct", as if he minimally empathized on the surface, saying things like "the feelings/thoughts you had are normal when people are younger and in school, coming out is a personal thing each person does in their own time" blah blah, "when i came out pretty much everyone was fine with it, but if anyone had an issue i wouldnt care, cause i will always put my life and happiness first, what i will say is if you need any support from my part, you can count on it"... all decent so far right? i thought same ...
i believe the reason why that was his initial message was because he thought i was a friend or someone close to him, and btw as i responded more, he took a few hours after seeing each msg throughout that day to respond back, we communicated on\off from say 10am to 1am for context.
I mentioned how i just decided to look him up after someone mentioned him as he was a guy i really liked and felt bad never getting to socialize more with, and saw he was gay and it got me feeling regret, how if he indeed was gay as it seemed, i wished him and his partner well, knowing in his life things could only ever go well for him, cause he always seemed happy and in peace (all things i straight up said), and asked he not show anyone the messages, as what im typing seems strange as hell, i know that but i have no bad intentions at all , he said he was curious to know who i was, but understood and that i wouldnt have to worry, he wouldnt reveal my identity if i told him.
Then i said how i knew him from seeing him in school, how i always sensed something about him i couldnt put my finger on , thought my brain was just being ridiculous and that i couldnt dare just approach him, and that fear held me back, that for context, was something i hoped would aliviate him a bit as i wasnt a friend , in fact we never spoke , but were in the same places and that i wanted to reveal myself one on the insta account, but anxiety is a tough thing for me, sometimes i wanna just push cause we only live once, other times i fear others perceptions and dont wanna hurt them feelings (again, all things i said to him via message). He responded saying his motto in life was "just go for it" and that he was pretty curious to know who i am but understood if i didnt wanna, and reinforced how regardless of who i was, he wouldnt expose me....
Earlier before his last message That night, i had told him i was shocked with his behaviour understanding behaviour and thanked him for his kindness and maturity...well after that day the ABSOLUTE WORSE happened...
So i woke up the following morning and insta had deactivated the account, i went on another i had, with a cringey username like "let the universe decide" username to message him saying "hey its me from the other day, i just logged in and stupid insta deactivated my account , probably because it was recently made, mostly blank and username, well if yr still curious/interested in chatting we can try talking through his old one i got, i'll let the universe decide" .... and he never accepted or responded to that message request...
A few days later i used that account to heart some of his pics and stories (just like 2 or 3, and it was simply to get his attention, but nothing) waited 2 weeks in silence, then left a comment on one of his pics saying "hi, hope yr well, did you see my message? :)" left it up for 11 hours before removing it and deleting my account cause he never responded and i felt completely humiliated, i felt he said all these nice things only to stab my feelings in the back by not even as much as a "hey, i appreciate you reaching out, wish you well, but i'd prefer not talking anymore" ...and honestly... i feel he somehow deducted who i am and that was why he chose to cease conversation, i was a bit confused why he didnt just block me though, can someone maybe explain that? but ... i feel beyond hurt and embarrassed...it would have meant THE WORLD his acceptance, his kindness, his friendship even if just online and in moments, i wasn't gonna message him all the time, in fact from the way i typed you could defo tell ok i was anxious but was sane and understood not to disrespect or upset someone, ...god his support as a human being would have cured a lot of what they did, but once again i was rejected and i am almost sure he mocked it or thought "oh it was that weird freak from school"... but no matter how odd my brain seems and this post, i i am not a freak...i'm super fearful of being put in the same place, i have ptsd, some look at me outside, talk to me , i seem fine, but i forever hurt for not having been able to be a part of that circle in any form, just to make it clear, if he dared to love me that would have been insane luck, but that was NEVER the goal, i wanted him to meet me in person to see how both me and him equally would feel about each other as humans,. instead i am nothing to him and that hurts.
Since then, him and mostly his happy go lucky boyfriend continue to post about their travels around the world, their framed photo in paris, their weeks in the USA, soon they'll probably be hitting up London, Madrid, Rome and go knows where else, he (guy i deeply feel for) has his pic and name on the company website he works for, but looking at social media he seemingly rarely seems to be working ..lol, gotta love the irony of fate. As soon as i get a job, they will work me like a slave in this country :\ hence why he probably moved, but also cause he wanted to get more priveleges... Him and his boyfriend recently bought a house together, (the bf boasted like hell about it online) his bf posts about them going out every like 2-3 days,, partying, drinking, their families saying how they are a "power couple" and "perfect" , them dining at friends homes, constantly like every few days...whilst i am a joke to people like them, in person i'd guess he'd either 1- look at me and smirk then go straight to his bf and gossip and point and laugh if he knew\could recognize me, or 2 - look at me up and down as if i were a piece of shit", these are things his friends did to me, some still do when they see me around town. There, thats my rainbow for you at almost fking 30 yrs old.
Now, What id like is for someone with free time, and as people completely imparcial, so you dont have my emotions, is to guess \rationally tell me what exactly you think was/is going through his brain... i was so upset i eventually told my sister (someone who like my love interest, was super popular in her school, super academically successful , beautiful, loves travelling, heck she is the queen of travelling) and she said the following:
"i honestly think he has no idea who you are, and he isn't mocking you, why would he?, he doesnt think about your conversation at all, he responded in the moment and left it at that. He has his own life, he is happy and fulfilled with his partner, so some anono person messaging him would be far down on his list of interests"
That still doesnt explain the basic respect he could of had to say bye, why he stopped speaking via ghosting etc? I just really need to talk about this please. Also i believe my sister was being nice too, he must know its the gay guy everyone loved mocking , heck even by the travel pic captions i had publically post on the insta i was using to try get him to chat back, its like as soon as i typed a header in my language, boom. He instantly Cut communication.... one could say, these people just arent for you then, but the nastiness and privilege in them, ok if they were humble, they arent, his mother is a monster, and there is way more i know, like how she "acquired" her family fortune, it's like, i never bullied or harmed anyone, i simply try living my life, and i've even helped people for nothing in return before, just cause i dont agree with suffering of people who dont deserve it, why on earth do they get a green card through life? no, it's not ok, they should hurt too, more even for their actions!

Gay male 29 , the other guys is same and my age to...
Hi guys, welp there is a lot to say about this, my mental health today is in a really bad place so id like to talk to someone here about this, in fact i'd like to read the many in depth opinions of redditors for clarity, please leave yr honest thoughts about this other guys behaviour...help tell me what do you think was going on in his head?
i wrote this back in february , (time when it happened), and fundamentally i feel like absolute crap, last night i didnt even sleep till 6am, stressed at the thought of this guys exposing the conversation we had and of him mocking me ,plus me seeing on social media him constantly living the high life abroad with his partner crushes me, their families all happy, adding each other even though they live in different countries, liking, commenting and hearting each others stuff, and i know (this i dont believe, i am absolutely certain off » his mother to be an extremely `fake arrogant and cruel woman (she bullied other adults, including a woman I know, who has a disabled kid saying "well if he turned out that way, you weren't good enough of a mother while he was in the womb" or something similar, all whilst masking her own toxic addictions (she smokes blunts like a skunk and drinks like a fish), and the "hilarious" part is, one of her own kids has down syndrome -_-... like bruh come on, it takes a special kind of evil to act the way she does..)
in fact, a lot of these people here, these super social BY DEFAULT , are all pretty much a complete bunch of bullies, (read on and you'll see why i say bullies) and worse.. those people never get their just comeuppance, they can harass, abuse, slander, bully and steal from people (and i picked each of those words VERY carefully regarding this family and group of people)... and nothing, and he himself, will NEVER suffer or have any type of difficulty in life whatsoever. As I later came to discover in fact he is *super* priveleged (obvs not why i ever had feelings for him at all, we can't control who we fall for, and believe me it hurts knowing he most likely is laughing\ridiculing my messages to him, probably shared it with tones of people ... or if not, at least must think i'm a sick weirdo cause of things said about me, this is where i am now, but here is what happened ...
So basically over 12 years ago, i moved from one country to a small town in another when i was a preteen with my parents, and i went through really bad forms of bullying for being really quiet , which was cause of being uncomfortable around conservative people, as well as being in a completely new country, and struggling with my own image of self and self confidence too, so of course not everyone here treated me badly, had I of been straight and confident i'd of been fine, but i can't choose how i am and as i was born differently, and couldn't socially mask like him, the vast majority of students in school did, when they found out i was gay ohh that was the icing on the cake to amplify my abuse...so this guy i've deeply loved is close friends with a bunch of my bullies, not necessarily the worst of them, but nonetheless since the town in pretty small, most people knew each other and especially from our age range would be linked to one another socially one way or another, they would join in with the stares, the taunts, the shouting at me as i entered the school gates, the pointing, the spreading nasty things about me, knowing i wouldnt stand up for myself and speak up, they judged me without even knowing me, or on the basis of knowing 3 things about me...name, nationality and sexual preference... though i dont recall him doing anything himself, he must of heard of me for sure, my name was spread along with vile lies like wildfire here, being gay wasn't exactly like being gay in the US, UK or say Australia, and being anxious and not being in big groups of people, I was their perfect punching bag. Just going on his insta it has tones of photos of him with some of those people on travels...
Sad thing, i genuinely liked him and still feel a certain way that hurts, looking at him around school he seemed like a really nice, social, attractive, and cultured guy, he did one of those erasmus exchange programs too back then, where he lived i think half a year in the United states, i'm not american but im from a diff culture to where we live /or lived since he moved last year, and so i remember seeing him and thought, he'd probably like talking to me since i'm from a diff country too, ya know exchanging experiences that sorta stuff ..oh mother*** how wrong was I...... may i just add a strange thing for me was..when peoole of this other country i moved too and still live in, would just blurp out phrases in my native tongue, many out of context, they'd be seen as cool for it, they thought my culture was interesting, would rush to adopt to certain things about it, or wanting to travel there and boast, but me who was exactly from that place, was rejected and mistreated, kinda like blackphising id say...in the sense a bunch of people who aren't black will mimic some of the aesthetic, unique vocabulary, like sayings , the music, getting praised for it, all whilst mistreating actual black people, this just to examplify.
Fastforward 12 or so years, some old friends mentioned his name to me recently, and i just thought to simply look him up on social media, see what he looks like now, perhaps he had moved to the states, i know he loved that culture... i never thought deep down he could actually be gay like me, when i saw on his insta that he is in a relationship with another man, posts by his partner (who tags him like there's no tomorrow) about "our 1 year anniversary, i'm so blessed to have you in my life" ..."best birthday gifts ever, omg i was even entitled to an intense massage at a spa....🤮 i physically wanted to throw up ...i felt what i can only describe as a manic volcano of spinning emotions, i was so angry i wanted to cry, to punch something, i wanted vomit, i felt cheated by life, rejected once more, its like you spend all these years suffering for being gay and then the moment you know the one guy would simply by being a decent friend no.. just a support human, is taken away from me, i'm not accepted in my own kinds eyes, and now he is with this foreigner, who btw also talks my language, they both do, but .. you guessed it, isn't naturally from my home country ... and i'm sure he adores the fact he speaks it, again, i'm the og and am not even treated like a human... seeing how the guy i love was super popular and incredibly privileged , no one cares he be gay or not, there will always be people there for him, and i was treated like absolutely cow shit...this all in february ...
Well i made an anon instagramm profile the following day, to pretty respectfully reach out (meaning I assured the person i knew it was a pretty odd and bold thing to do, just msg them like that, and didn’t wanna freak him out or make him uncomfortable) to confess how i had strong feelings for him years ago and having seen his profile, knowing he is gay, i so regret never having done what i wanted to then out of fear and because of other people, which was speak to him face to face, i said in that msg, we could have been friends , maybe id even be in the position yr bf is if we had met, or you not even like me at all, fair play, but i'll never know...and never knowing , KILLS ME for what i was forced to deal with in silence, his boyfriend, most likely another super socially privileged guy, knows nothing of pain, of carrying weights, he was poor with a silver spoon.
back to that first message, so he responded to the message request, (on insta, when u send a message the other person has to accept the initial one, otherwise u cant private message them more) though he was caught off guard when he did, cause before accepting it, i just post "hey ---his name, how r u?" Then the rest straight after he accepted it,.. i did it all anonymously and explained to him it was because of initial fear of being ridiculed, as i had unlike him, dealt with discrimination and lost friends over my identity (all true, all things i mentioned to him), at first his responses seemed somewhat "politically correct", as if he minimally empathized on the surface, saying things like "the feelings/thoughts you had are normal when people are younger and in school, coming out is a personal thing each person does in their own time" blah blah, "when i came out pretty much everyone was fine with it, but if anyone had an issue i wouldnt care, cause i will always put my life and happiness first, what i will say is if you need any support from my part, you can count on it"... all decent so far right? i thought same ...
i believe the reason why that was his initial message was because he thought i was a friend or someone close to him, and btw as i responded more, he took a few hours after seeing each msg throughout that day to respond back, we communicated on\off from say 10am to 1am for context.
I mentioned how i just decided to look him up after someone mentioned him as he was a guy i really liked and felt bad never getting to socialize more with, and saw he was gay and it got me feeling regret, how if he indeed was gay as it seemed, i wished him and his partner well, knowing in his life things could only ever go well for him, cause he always seemed happy and in peace (all things i straight up said), and asked he not show anyone the messages, as what im typing seems strange as hell, i know that but i have no bad intentions at all , he said he was curious to know who i was, but understood and that i wouldnt have to worry, he wouldnt reveal my identity if i told him.
Then i said how i knew him from seeing him in school, how i always sensed something about him i couldnt put my finger on , thought my brain was just being ridiculous and that i couldnt dare just approach him, and that fear held me back, that for context, was something i hoped would aliviate him a bit as i wasnt a friend , in fact we never spoke , but were in the same places and that i wanted to reveal myself one on the insta account, but anxiety is a tough thing for me, sometimes i wanna just push cause we only live once, other times i fear others perceptions and dont wanna hurt them feelings (again, all things i said to him via message). He responded saying his motto in life was "just go for it" and that he was pretty curious to know who i am but understood if i didnt wanna, and reinforced how regardless of who i was, he wouldnt expose me....
Earlier before his last message That night, i had told him i was shocked with his behaviour understanding behaviour and thanked him for his kindness and maturity...well after that day the ABSOLUTE WORSE happened...
So i woke up the following morning and insta had deactivated the account, i went on another i had, with a cringey username like "let the universe decide" username to message him saying "hey its me from the other day, i just logged in and stupid insta deactivated my account , probably because it was recently made, mostly blank and username, well if yr still curious/interested in chatting we can try talking through his old one i got, i'll let the universe decide" .... and he never accepted or responded to that message request...
A few days later i used that account to heart some of his pics and stories (just like 2 or 3, and it was simply to get his attention, but nothing) waited 2 weeks in silence, then left a comment on one of his pics saying "hi, hope yr well, did you see my message? :)" left it up for 11 hours before removing it and deleting my account cause he never responded and i felt completely humiliated, i felt he said all these nice things only to stab my feelings in the back by not even as much as a "hey, i appreciate you reaching out, wish you well, but i'd prefer not talking anymore" ...and honestly... i feel he somehow deducted who i am and that was why he chose to cease conversation, i was a bit confused why he didnt just block me though, can someone maybe explain that? but ... i feel beyond hurt and embarrassed...it would have meant THE WORLD his acceptance, his kindness, his friendship even if just online and in moments, i wasn't gonna message him all the time, in fact from the way i typed you could defo tell ok i was anxious but was sane and understood not to disrespect or upset someone, ...god his support as a human being would have cured a lot of what they did, but once again i was rejected and i am almost sure he mocked it or thought "oh it was that weird freak from school"... but no matter how odd my brain seems and this post, i i am not a freak...i'm super fearful of being put in the same place, i have ptsd, some look at me outside, talk to me , i seem fine, but i forever hurt for not having been able to be a part of that circle in any form, just to make it clear, if he dared to love me that would have been insane luck, but that was NEVER the goal, i wanted him to meet me in person to see how both me and him equally would feel about each other as humans,. instead i am nothing to him and that hurts.
Since then, him and mostly his happy go lucky boyfriend continue to post about their travels around the world, their framed photo in paris, their weeks in the USA, soon they'll probably be hitting up London, Madrid, Rome and go knows where else, he (guy i deeply feel for) has his pic and name on the company website he works for, but looking at social media he seemingly rarely seems to be working ..lol, gotta love the irony of fate. As soon as i get a job, they will work me like a slave in this country :\ hence why he probably moved, but also cause he wanted to get more priveleges... Him and his boyfriend recently bought a house together, (the bf boasted like hell about it online) his bf posts about them going out every like 2-3 days,, partying, drinking, their families saying how they are a "power couple" and "perfect" , them dining at friends homes, constantly like every few days...whilst i am a joke to people like them, in person i'd guess he'd either 1- look at me and smirk then go straight to his bf and gossip and point and laugh if he knew\could recognize me, or 2 - look at me up and down as if i were a piece of shit", these are things his friends did to me, some still do when they see me around town. There, thats my rainbow for you at almost fking 30 yrs old.
Now, What id like is for someone with free time, and as people completely imparcial, so you dont have my emotions, is to guess \rationally tell me what exactly you think was/is going through his brain... i was so upset i eventually told my sister (someone who like my love interest, was super popular in her school, super academically successful , beautiful, loves travelling, heck she is the queen of travelling) and she said the following:
"i honestly think he has no idea who you are, and he isn't mocking you, why would he?, he doesnt think about your conversation at all, he responded in the moment and left it at that. He has his own life, he is happy and fulfilled with his partner, so some anono person messaging him would be far down on his list of interests"
That still doesnt explain the basic respect he could of had to say bye, why he stopped speaking via ghosting etc? I just really need to talk about this please. Also i believe my sister was being nice too, he must know its the gay guy everyone loved mocking , heck even by the travel pic captions i had publically post on the insta i was using to try get him to chat back, its like as soon as i typed a header in my language, boom. He instantly Cut communication.... one could say, these people just arent for you then, but the nastiness and privilege in them, ok if they were humble, they arent, his mother is a monster, and there is way more i know, like how she "acquired" her family fortune, it's like, i never bullied or harmed anyone, i simply try living my life, and i've even helped people for nothing in return before, just cause i dont agree with suffering of people who dont deserve it, why on earth do they get a green card through life? no, it's not ok, they should hurt too, more even for their actions!

Thank you to the moderator u/Dro1972 for the advanced permission to post this invitation.
We are inviting adults who have lived in the United States since January 1, 2015 to participate in research on the human future that involves an interview and survey.
More specifically, we want to know what people think about the human future. What are our greatest opportunities? Our biggest challenges? How are people thinking about recent challenges, like COVID-19? We’re discussing issues ranging from technology and space to health and the environment. What will people think about emerging issues in 5 years? In 10 years?
There are academic fields of study related to the human future. However, much of this work is done without input from the public. We want to change that.
The interview will take approximately 1.5 to 2.5 hours to complete. Participants will receive a $40 Amazon gift card and the opportunity to enter a lottery for a chance to receive a second $40 gift card as compensation for their time and effort.
The project co-director is Marissa Yingling ([marissa.yingling@Louisville.edu](mailto:marissa.yingling@Louisville.edu)), who can schedule participation or answer any questions. You may also message u/HumanizingTheFuture if you prefer.
We need to speak with all professions. We want to include views from bartenders and many other fields. We have already had participants in other occupations, for example: human trafficking investigator, app engineer, spaceflight manager, nurse, sales executive, farmer, psychologist, nonprofit manager, fiction writer, attorney, accountant, artist, and more.
We are speaking to people in all states and the District of Columbia.
We still need participants who live in the following places: Alabama, California (except San Francisco), District of Columbia, Florida (except Tampa), Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina (except Charlotte), North Dakota, Ohio (except Columbus), Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Texas (except Austin), Washington, and Wisconsin.
Thank you!

To all RIT students in the sub,
My name is Prof. Bui from the Saunders College of Business. I am reaching out to invite you to participate in an exciting research study we are conducting on human-generative AI (GAI) interactions.
Our study aims to explore the loss of social aspects in human-GAI interactions. Your participation would provide valuable insights that could help shape the future of generative AI technologies.
Study Details:

• What: Participation in either a Zoom interview or an in-person lab experiment
• Duration: Approximately 45-60 minutes When: the interviews will take place between June 10-17 while the lab experiment will take place between June 12-21
• Compensation: $15 Amazon gift card, provided regardless of whether you complete the interview or experiment
• Confidentiality: All data collected is completely confidential and will be presented only in aggregated form (e.g., percentages, averages) at the conclusion of the study.

How to Participate: If you are interested in participating, please fill out this survey. We will randomly select out 105 participants. If you are selected, we will reach out to schedule a date/time that works for you. Survey: https://rit.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6y617QQUMy26uWO
We understand that your time is valuable, and we greatly appreciate your consideration of this request. Your participation would be immensely beneficial to our research, and we hope to hear from you soon.
P.S. Feel free to share this invitation with fellow students who might be interested in participating.

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In your second month, you'll likely still be working on the welcome offers, as there are a lot of them, and again, you can around £200-£300 without breaking too much of a sweat. Once the welcome offers finish, you're onto the reload offers. These are generally smaller value free bets, but they all add up. You'll see these posted daily on the matched betting site you sign up to. You should also check your email to catch any personalised offers that are sent to you. Typically, after completing the welcome offers, you can expect to earn anywhere from £100-£200 per month, as long as you complete the reload offers that are available to you. Some months will be better than others, as bookmakers promotions, and therefore the reload offers, are always changing.
Recently, I've been using Oddsmonkey as a Matched Betting service. This site is a great resource as it has all the welcome and reload offers in one place, explains how to complete every offer in detail, and offers 24/7 customer support, which is great for any help you may need when you're just starting out. This site also offers 0% commission on Smarkets, an exchange used for Matched Betting, This was a big pull for me, as it means you make more profit from every offer, which really adds up in the long run.
Over the last couple of years, I've learned quite a bit about the ins and outs of matched betting, and so I decided to put this guide together which explains in detail how the process of Matched Betting works. Anyway, Here is the Guide:

Part 1: Before you Start

(1) You can start with as little as £50 but ideally and for the sake of attaining more profit in a faster time, My Personal Recommendation would be to start with £100-£200
(2) If you are careless, you can make mistakes. Like with any task, you must give it the level of precision it demands, a mistake when entering figures will cost you real money. When you read the guide below you will see that the process is very simple, but that means you must take extra care not to become complacent.
(3) If you have a history with gambling, do not come near Matched Betting. Matched Betting is not gambling, but the fact you will be using betting websites to facilitate a profit is too much of a temptation- It's not worth it.
(4) Matched betting won't affect your credit rating, however, it's common sense that it doesn't look good to have numerous transactions to betting sites on your bank statement. Open a separate virtual bank account such as Starling/Monzo for all your Matched betting activity (It only takes 5 minutes, details below)
(5) Yes, It likely comes to an End. There's no exact duration of time for how long you can continue matched betting before your accounts are gubbed (Meaning no longer eligible for promotions/free bets), For some people, it's 2 years, for others, it's 5 years. Is the fact that it's not a long term source of income a reason not to do it? I don't believe so, This is beermoney and the point is to make as much from an offer while you can. Personally, I'm coming up to 2 years now with all of my accounts still going strong. My only advice would be to make hay while the sun shines.
With that being said, Matched Betting really is a solid way to secure £400-£500 in a very short time and then continue earning £100s every month. It's the reason I was able to pay my first couple of months' rent when I moved to the UK and to this day still remains a handy way to pay the bills every month.

Part 2: Starting out

Having done my research and having been able to turn a really nice profit in such a short time, I wanted to make a short guide to eliminate people's doubts and simplify things a little. Since it really doesn't take a lot of time to hit that £500 profit mark, it's a shame not to try it out. Anyway, Here it goes:
I was initially very skeptical about Matched Betting because a friend showed me the Facebook groups and it just looked like a giant gambling pyramid scheme. It turns out there is a decent chunk of change to be made from it, you just need to follow the guides and never ever actually gamble with your money.
Never ever Gamble? Yes That's right, you are going to be using betting websites to complete the various offers, but the whole idea behind matched betting is that every time you "make a bet", you match that same bet on the exchange. So for example, if I bet £10 for Real Madrid to Win on the Bookmaker Site at odds of 2.5, I then also make a Matched bet on the Exchange (This is a separate site such as Smarkets) where I bet for Real Madrid not to win at odds of 2.5 (or as close as I can get to those odds). In this way, I am covered in all outcomes (win, lose or draw), and it allows me to fulfill the requirements of the bookmaker's offer (For example Bet £10 and get £30 in Free bets)
What's the difference between the Bookmaker Site and the Exchange? On the Exchange Site you are basically being the Bookmaker and just like a Bookmaker, you have liability. If I bet £10 and my bet wins at odds of 2.5 then I win £25, so the bookmaker's liability for this bet is £15, the extra money that they would have to give me if I win. There are calculators on the Matched betting sites which you can use to calculate what Liability you need to enter on the exchange each time you make your matched bet. There is also software to help you find what games have the closest odds on both the bookmakers and the exchange, which is very important.
What do I do when I get my free bets? It's the same process again, You find a game that has very close odds on both the bookmakers and the exchange (You can do this by eye or by using odds matching software. This software is available on the matched betting site you sign up to, see below). Only this time when you use the calculator to work out your liability, you will set it to "Free bets SNR" so it knows you are not using real money. It will tell you how much Liability to use in the exchange and off you go.
How does this make me money? The fact that you have a free bet to use is what makes you money, For example, a £30 free bet at odds of 5.5 in the bookmakers will win you £135 (30 x 4.5, because the original free bet stake of £30 is not returned to you). Now let's say that the closest odds I can find in the Exchange for the same game are 6.0, I will need a liability of £112.50 to match my free bet in the bookies ( I use the calculator to work this out)
£135- £112.50 = £22.50 in Profit.
Alternatively, if my bet on the exchange wins, I will lose the free bet of £30 (but it's not actually a loss to me because It's not real money) and I will win £22.50 on the exchange. Either way, I make a Profit of £22.50
What about providing card details? You can use a separate, virtual bank account for all your matched betting, In this way your main banking information is not shared with any of the sites you sign up to and all of your matched betting transactions never go near your main bank account. A good example of a virtual bank account is Starling or Monzo. These apps are super easy to use and it only takes 5 minutes to open an account. It's also totally free to open an account.
Where can I learn to do it?
The site that I use is called Oddsmonkey. It's one of the most popular Matched Betting sites in the UK. The main grab for me is their 0% exchange commission, which translates to a nice bit of extra profit in over the long run.
They have over £700 in welcome offers available, and with each offer taking around 15-20 minutes to complete (and paying £15 per offer on average) it really doesn't take a long time to hit £300-£400 in Profit.
If you are new to this site and are opening a free account, you can use this Link to sign up and earn £40 during your free trial. After earning £40 and seeing what the site has to offer, you can decide whether or not to continue using Oddsmonkey with a monthly subscription of £29.99.
In my opinion, it's well worth the investment. With access to 24/7 customer support, 0% Smarkets commission, tools for odds matching and profit tracking, as well as weekly reload offers and guides, I really can't recommend these guys enough.
Also, The profit you make monthly will always be much higher than the cost of the subscription, and of course you can cancel at any time.
Non ref: Here
TLDR: You do not need to "gamble" to matched bet, in fact by definition, the bet you make is "matched" on the exchange, so it is not a gamble in any sense.

Part 3: Continuing to Earn

Once you've finished completing all of the welcome offers, you will probably notice that your monthly profits from Matched betting will be dropping off a bit. This doesn't mean that you can't continue to earn a decent monthly profit, it's just about knowing how to make the most from the offers available to you.
The thing about Matched betting is that every month there will be different reload offers available which means a different amount of profit, so the key to making the most from matched betting is to take advantage of the offers available every month, and to be aware of their existence in the first place (as obvious as that may sound). So, the amount you earn monthly comes down to a few things:
(1) Check your email every day, don't underestimate the importance of this.
(2) Check the offers section of Oddsmonkey or the matched betting site you use daily to see new offers.
(3) Offers change all the time- Don't let this put you off. There are always new offers to replace the previous ones.
(4) It all adds up. Don't think "It's only a £5 free bet, not worth matching". Some months I get around 10-15 £5 free bets, If I ignored them all I would be down £40-£65 in profit at the end of the month.
(5) Some months are better than others and it can vary quite a bit depending on the time of year, A very modest month should earn you £100, an average/good month is £200-£300 and a great month can be anywhere between around £400- £500 (My best months are generally in the summer or during festivals).

Examples of common reload offers:

(1) Bet X Get Y:
This involves betting a certain amount in order to be awarded a free bet of a certain value. It's a very common type of reload offer. The bookmakers that I had the most luck with for these were VirginBet, WilliamHill and Coral. For example, Coral had a promotion last year where you would receive a free bet of £50 when you bet £50, provided the team you bet was ahead at half time but went on not to win the match, which was very profitable.
(2) Personalised Offers: These are sent to you exclusively by email, but they may also show up in the reload section or forum of your match betting site. They can be free bets, Cash bonuses or Bet X Get Y offers.VirginBet stands out to me as being the best for these types of offers, Once thet dropped a £100 free bet in my account at the start of the football season. Bet 365 is also very good for these.
(3) 2nd/3rd/4th place Horse Racing offers: These are offers where you get a refund in the form of a free bet or cash if your horse comes 2nd, 3rd or 4th. Paddy Power is generally very good for these, as is Skybet. Virginbet's offer of a £20 free bet when your horse wins at 4.0 is also very handy.
(4) Deposit Offers: Depositing a certain amount awards you with a cash bonus or a bonus that needs to be wagered or bet. The only problem with these offers however is that they often come with wagering requirements, so be careful of that if you see them. Having said that, I like these types of offers because they can be very lucrative.
(5) Enhanced Odds: This is when bookies enhance the odds on their side, meaning you can profit simply by matching your bet on the exchange. William hill does this a lot, and 888 sport are also quite good for this offer.
(6) Money back if you lose: An offer where the value of your bet is refunded as a free bet if you lose. Boylesport would be the number one bookie that seems to offer this type of promotion in my experience. Betway also seems to offer this promotion quite a bit, they also do a promotion called "First Goal Wins" which is similar and can allow you to win on both the bookies and the exchange, which is great.
(7) Bet Clubs: Require you to make a certain amount of bets every week in order to be awarded a free bet at the end of the week.
(8) Bet X Get Free Spins: These are offers where making a bet of a certain value awards you with a variable amount of free spins. VirginBet, Skybet and Coral seem to be very keen on this particular offer, it's not always super profitable but if you can match the bet at a low qualifying loss, there's no reason not to try it out.
And that's it, I hope this guide can be of help to some people, if you have any questions at all just ask.
Cheers

Thank you for all the nominations! I have collected the top 5 (after that there was a big gap in upvotes at the time when I checked the post) into a poll that will decide what book the BB Bookclub will be reading in September, for the Retro Rainbow Reads theme - books published before December 31st 1999.
The nominees are:

Ammonite by Nicola Griffith

Change or die. These are the only options available on the planet Jeep. Centuries earlier, a deadly virus shattered the original colony, killing the men and forever altering the few surviving women. Now, generations after the colony has lost touch with the rest of humanity, a company arrives to exploit Jeep–and its forces find themselves fighting for their lives. Terrified of spreading the virus, the company abandons its employees, leaving them afraid and isolated from the natives. In the face of this crisis, anthropologist Marghe Taishan arrives to test a new vaccine. As she risks death to uncover the women’s biological secret, she finds that she, too, is changing–and realizes that not only has she found a home on Jeep, but that she alone carries the seeds of its destruction. . . .

The Fire's Stone by Tanya Huff

THIEF, SWORDSMAN, AND WIZARDESS
AARON. Clan Heir, he has fled his people when his beloved was slain by his own father's command, abandoning his training, duty and beliefs to become a thief. A master of his trade, he now dared the odds in Ischia, city of the volcano, where the price of being caught was death.
DARVISH. Prince of Ischia, third son of a king who had no intention of giving up his throne. The prince was a drunkard, a lover, and a wastrel, yet was gifted with sword skills and with the ability to charm all around him. But not even his charm could free him from the political marriage now being planned.
CHANDRA. Born a princess, she had chosen to become a Wizard of the Nine, that rarest of beings, able to master all the forms that sorcery could take. Now, promised as Darvish's bride, she undertook a desperate journey to Ischia to convince him they must not wed.
Aaron, Darvish, Chandra—three strangers whose fates were about to become interwined. For someone had stolen The Stone, the magical talisman which stood between Ischia and the volcano's wrath. And unless the three could learn to work together on a quest to find the Stone, Ischia would drown in a sea of lava.

Sing the Four Quarters by Tanya Huff

To call the kigh was the height of bard's magic. Only those born with the gift could learn to Sing these spirits of earth, air, fire and water into doing their bidding, and even someone as gifted as the Princess Annice must spend years studying at the Bardic Hall to truly master the Art. And for Annice, one of those rare talents able to Sing the elemental spirits from each of the four quarters, the call of magic was too strong to be denied, even if it meant renouncing her royal blood and privileges.
But Annice might have made a different choice if she could have foreseen that ten years after she'd transferred her life and loyalties from the Royal Palace to the Bardic Hall, she'd find herself fleeing from the King's Guards. For Annice was twice guilty of treason, first for imperiling the order of succession by becoming pregnant, and second for aiding the father of her unborn child, the Duc of Ohrid, to escape the palace dungeons and the sentence of death hanging over his head.
Now the fugitives' only hope lay in tracking down and bringing to justice the enemy who'd masterminded the Duc's downfall, a dangerous foe who had found a way to tie lies and truths together into a knot even the most powerful of Bardic spells could not unravel...

Bingo (that I know of): First in a Series (HM), Bards (HM), Pubbed in the 90s (HM)

Magic's Pawn by Mercedes Lackey

Mage-Craft—
Though Vanyel has been born with near-legendary abilities to work both Herald and Mage magic, he wants no part of such things. Nor does he seek a warrior's path, wishing instead to become a Bard. Yet such talent as his if left untrained may prove a menace not only to Vanyel but to others as well. So he is sent to be fostered with his aunt, Savil, one of the famed Herald-Mages of Valdemar.
But, strong-willed and self-centered, Vanyel is a challenge which even Savil can not master alone. For soon he will become the focus of frightening forces, lending his raw magic to a spell that unleashes terrifying wyr-hunters on the land. And by the time Savil seeks the assistance of a Shin'a'in Adept, Vanyel's wild talent may have already grown beyond anyone's ability to contain, placing Vanyel, Savil, and Valdemar itself in desperate peril...

Bingo: First in a Series

Gossamer Axe by Gael Baudino

When her lover is imprisoned, Christa—a centuries-old harper—must set her free using the greatest weapon she possesses: music
In ancient Ireland, Chairiste Ní Cummen, a harper, was trained in the secrets of music and magic, but her curiosity and pride trapped her and her lover in the realm of the fairy folk, the Sidh. Chairiste alone managed to escape, and now, living in the modern world as Christa Cruitaire, a quiet harp teacher, she is all but resigned to her inability to win her beloved’s freedom . . . until she discovers that the volume and violence of the electric guitar and heavy metal might prove brutal enough to forcibly breach the barriers between the human and fairy worlds. With the aid of her bandmates—who must themselves overcome inner demons of abuse, addiction, and prejudice—Christa is determined to use her newfound musical power to rescue the woman she loves.

Vote here!

The poll will be open until June 10th, at which point I'll post the winner in the sub and announce the discussion dates. What is the BB Bookclub? You can read about it in our intro thread here.

This is three months delayed. Apologies. Also cross posting too. Sorry for that too but I enjoy reading reviews. And now writing them too.
Hyatt Zilara Cancún - incredible resort and just amazing experience. Such a great resort and so impressed, my wife is heading there next week with her girls trip.
AIRPORT TRANSPORT: Friends Travel Cancun. $85 Round Trip. Excellent communication via What’s App. You pay them when they drop off at your arrival location. It’s better to pay them cash (plus a tip) otherwise, there’s a small fee for charge card. They had free water and beer.
CHECK IN: We were greeted with the bell boys handing us a cold wash cloth (refreshing!). Since we booked through a real club member to get a discount on our stay, we were escorted to the World of Hyatt private check in. Air conditioned and had some snacks and cold water. Our room wasn’t ready, but we were able to use the resort amenities until it was available for us.
ROOMS: We booked ocean front king. The rooms are quite large. All have incredible view and all have jacuzzi tub inside the room (next to the balcony door). We didn’t feel the need to upgrade rooms this time – we were on 8th floor. We ordered extra pillows, and they arrived within minutes.
FOOD: -In general, the food is great. We are not overly picky, and we don’t like to explore exotic dishes. So we were quite happy that they have a variety of ala carte options to meet our needs without having to repeat same food for each meal. What’s so wonderful about the workers at the resort is that if we had some special request, they tried to accommodate us if they could. -At Punta Vista outdoor restaurant, you are overlooking the ocean. Incredible view! We found their lunch and dinner to be our favorite. We went back almost daily for their shrimp scampi (can’t recall the actual name). I have to give a shoutout to Samanta. She is friendly beyond words. -Spice, the buffet is always a favorite for breakfast. Whatever your desire for breakfast, they likely have it. The lady (I’m terrible with names – sorry!) who made our omelet remembered us every day and was so friendly. A surprise about Spice…on Wednesday evening, they had a barbeque theme. It was fantastic! -Marie Maria, also far exceeded our expectations. They have a flaming dessert that is excellent. We went back a few times for their dinner. -Asiana, we only went once. We are not connoisseurs of hibachi/teppanyaki. The couple we were with on the trip had raved about it though and went back a few times to that restaurant. Make sure you make your reservation as soon as you arrive or next day for the teppanyaki show. -Coffee shop, morning visit to the coffee shop is must! Pasties, mini sandwiches, and smoothies! They are so welcoming in the morning and greet you with a big smile every time. And their ice cream is yummy for after a long day in the sun. - We’ve been to Zilara in past and somehow passed over the Beach Party. This time we participated. The food and setup of their Beach Party is over the top of greatness. They know how to throw a party! We noticed a lot of people at the pool didn’t go – maybe didn’t know about it or just skipped it. It was on a Sunday but make sure you confirm in case they change days. Get a table, seating, your lounge chair, or cabana before you go in the food line. The food and the show were spectacular. - Another thing that is not widely advertised is that they grill/serve lunch outside almost daily by the pool (not sure what days they skip). The lesson here – check with the entertainment or beach/pool workers to know in advance what the lunch options will be since it’s not every day and they switch it up. The food was so great! -We did not do Chefs Plate because we didn’t want to spend extra even though we could have gotten a discount (again by booking through a member). It’s free for certain room categories, so check on that. -We ordered room service. It was good food and hit the spot when we didn’t want to venture out after a long day.
DRINKS: -pool swim up bars. The drinks taste so refreshing and not too potent. Neither my wife nor I got a ‘buzz’ after drinking a lot of margaritas and Bob Marley’s by the pool. So I think they are light on the alcohol. Not a problem, just setting expectations. -Lounge bar is underrated. They are a GREAT group who serve you drinks. Anyone that says this place has no nighttime entertainment needs to bring the party to the Lounge. We had a blast meeting other people and hanging with the bartender and servers. -The Den; we enjoyed several delicious cocktails at The Den, five stars there. Mixology, tequila, and wine tasting. All were amazing times!
CABANAS: No issues with any beach Cabanas whatsoever (we honestly liked the beach cabanas better most of the trip). There’s only 4-5 free pool cabanas and they are tough to get (better wake up at 5am). Chairs by the pool were easy to get. We got 2 days of a free cabana (book through a member - see my tips below). The other days, we woke up early to sit and watch sunrise to get our cabana by the pool (limited free cabanas and they are marked). The day of the Beach Party, we didn’t get a cabana until right before lunch.
SPA: We had nothing but great things to say about it! Bryan from spa walked around the pool offering a great deal on spa, so we took him up on it. Go earlier than your scheduled time and use the hydrotherapy circuit. Wow! This spa is probably one of the best we’ve ever been to (we did a couples massage). Then the next day, he also recruited us to participate in a massage lesson by the pool with other guests. It was awesome!
ACTIVITIES: Their shows were all incredible and honestly went above my expectations to the point where I didn’t feel like I needed to leave resort for entertainment. We didn’t think the Michael Jackson show was as good as we’ve heard only because they didn’t sing the whole song. It was snippets. Was still enjoyable. Burlesque show was amazing and very tasteful. Foam party – everyone said to get cabana. We didn’t. We just swam over to the ‘other side’ of the pool to participate in foam party, and we were very happy with that arrangement. Then afterwards, we swam back and relaxed for the rest of the day. We were able to swim in the ocean most of the days except one – too windy.
OFFSITE EXCURSIONS/ACTIVITIES: You can book excursions at the Towel Hut. We didn’t take them up on any, but it’s offered there (another discount when booking through a member). The hotel was very expensive for sunscreen if you run out, so the pharmacy/ gift shop will save you some money. It’s a few blocks away – easy and safe walk. Hotel will check you in and out every time you leave.
TRAVEL TIPS: 1.WHATSAPP: plan to download before you leave your home. Easier to reach concierge. They checked on us daily. Love them all! Also easier to connect to the transport (Friends Travel Cancun).
2.For great pricing, book with a member. We booked both the Hyatt Ziva and Hyatt Zilara through a member (Alicia is great and here is her FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/allinclusivediscounts or search FaceBook “Ziva, Zilara, Palace, Royalton & More All Inclusive Discounts). You do NOT participate in any sales pitch. The vacation club is Real Club Resorts (not the same as the timeshare that is onsite at the resort). Saved us a lot of money (over $1000 on our stay at ziva and Zilara). Reach out if you want her contact info. I’ve referred a lot of people to her because she’s professional and very good at what she does (she’s not a travel agent – just discounts on the room reservation).
3.If no children in your group, go through the electronic immigration line to scan your passport. MUCH faster than the long lines. Can’t do it if you have anyone under 18 in your group.
4.bring straws and a yeti (dispose of straws appropriately)
5.Get the Zilara App and participate in the activities. They really do offer a lot during the day if you don’t want to sit around the pool or beach all day.

1. Bring 1s and 5s. the staff goes above and beyond to make sure you’re taken care of. The service is incredible. We were rarely at a table or cabana without them asking if we needed a drink! Tips for drinks/ dinne room cleaning go a long way! They deserve it.

6.say thank you. The staff works so hard to make your trip pleasant. Acknowledge their hard work.

Vellum paper, with its rich history and unique texture, has long been cherished by artists and craftspeople. Originally made from animal hides, this parchment-like material has evolved over time into a more modern, vegetarian alternative. Amongst the various types of vellum paper available today, translucent vellum paper stands out as a versatile choice for cardmakers. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore what vellum paper is, the differences between it and regular paper, and delve into five creative uses for translucent vellum paper in cardmaking.
What is Vellum Paper?
Vellum paper is a thin, lightweight sheet typically made from cellulose or cotton linters. Unlike regular paper, vellum is not completely opaque. Instead, it possesses a translucent quality, allowing light to pass through it partially. This translucency is what makes vellum so versatile for cardmaking. Vellum sheets come in various sizes, with A4 being a popular choice, and can be found in both transparent (completely clear) and coloured varieties. Coloured translucent paper offers a vibrant way to add pops of colour while maintaining the see-through effect.
What is Translucent Vellum Paper Used For?
Translucent vellum paper finds applications in a wide range of creative pursuits. Here are some of its most common uses:
Cardmaking and Scrapbooking: Vellum is a popular choice for card overlays, creating layered effects and adding a touch of mystery. It's also perfect for vellum envelopes, pocket inserts, and photo overlays in scrapbooks.
Invitations and Announcements: Vellum adds a touch of sophistication to invitations and announcements. You can use it for outer sleeves, layering over printed cards, or creating elegant pockets for inserts.
Mixed Media Projects: Vellum's versatility allows it to be incorporated into mixed media projects like altered art and collage work. Experiment with stamping, embossing, and heat foiling on vellum to create unique textures and effects.
Packaging and Gift Wrapping: Transparent vellum paper makes beautiful and eco-friendly gift wrap. Add a touch of personalization with hand-written messages, stamped designs, or embellishments attached to the vellum.
Understanding the Differences Between Vellum Paper and Regular Paper
Compared to regular paper, vellum paper offers several distinct advantages:
Texture: Vellum paper boasts a luxurious, velvet-smooth surface due to its fibrous structure. It provides an excellent base for intricate designs, embossing, and calligraphy. Durability: Known for its strength and resilience, vellum can last hundreds of years without deteriorating when properly cared for. Absorbency: Vellum absorbs ink deeply, resulting in bold lines and vivid colours. Transparency: As previously discussed, translucent vellum allows varying degrees of light transmission, opening up new possibilities for layering effects and visual interest.
Now, let's explore five creative ways to incorporate translucent vellum paper into your cardmaking endeavours:
1. Layered Beauty: Enhance Dimension and Intrigue
One of the simplest yet most effective uses of vellum paper is for layering. By placing a vellum sheet over your card base or other elements, you create a subtle diffusion of colour and add depth to your design. This technique works beautifully with both coloured vellum paper.
Classic Layering: Cut a piece of vellum slightly smaller than your card base. Stamp design onto the vellum, then layer it over your card base. The design will be softened by the vellum, creating a more ethereal look. For added interest, try heat embossing your design on the vellum for a raised, tactile effect.
Double-sided Surprise: Take your layering a step further by using vellum on the inside of your card as well. Here, you can create a peek-a-boo effect by stamping or writing a message on the vellum before adhering it to a coloured cardstock insert. When the recipient opens the card, the hidden message is revealed.
2. Dreamy Diffusion: Watercolour Magic with Vellum
Vellum paper is a fantastic partner for watercolours. Its translucency allows the vibrant colours to be softened and diffused, creating a dreamy, ethereal effect. Here are two ways to use vellum with watercolours:
Watercolour Wash Background: Lightly adhere a piece of vellum to your card base. Using watercolours, create a soft wash of colour over the entire vellum sheet. The colours will be diffused by the vellum, creating a subtle and romantic backdrop for your card elements.
Vellum Watercolour Accents: Instead of using vellum for the entire background, create individual watercolour elements on separate vellum pieces. Let them dry completely, then adhere them to your card base for a touch of delicate, translucent beauty.
3. Light it Up: Vellum Windows and Illumination Techniques
Vellum paper's translucency makes it perfect for creating windows and light effects on your cards. This technique adds a touch of magic and intrigue, especially when paired with patterned papers or elements that shimmer.
Faux Stained Glass: Die-cut intricate window shapes from coloured vellum paper. Layer these vellum windows over a piece of metallic cardstock that will peek through. This creates a stunning faux stained-glass effect, perfect for elegant or religious-themed cards.
Hidden Illumination: Cut a small window shape from your card base and layer a piece of vellum behind it. On the inside of your card, adhere a small LED tea light (battery-operated) so that it shines through the vellum window when the card is opened. This creates a magical, illuminated surprise for the recipient.
4. Etched Elegance: Vellum and Dry Embossing
Dry embossing adds a beautiful raised texture to your card elements, and vellum paper is a fantastic medium for this technique. The translucency of the vellum allows the embossed design to show through subtly, creating a sophisticated and elegant look.
Embossed Vellum Overlay: Cut a piece of vellum slightly larger than your card base. Use a dry embossing folder to create a detailed design on the vellum. Layer the embossed vellum over your card base for a soft, yet striking, effect.
Embossed Vellum Accents: Instead of embossing the entire vellum sheet, use smaller embossing folders or dies to create individual embossed vellum embellishments. These can be adhered to your card base or other elements for added texture and dimension.
5. The Power of Print: Translucent Paper for Printing
Many vellum sheets, particularly A4 vellum sheets, are compatible with inkjet printers. This opens up a whole new world of possibilities for incorporating text, images, and patterns directly onto your vellum.
Printed Vellum Overlay: Print a message, sentiment, or even a small image onto a piece of vellum. Layer the printed vellum over your card base for a unique and personalised touch.
Vellum Envelopes: Take your card presentation a step further by creating custom vellum envelopes. Print a decorative pattern or a simple message directly onto A4 vellum sheets. Cut and fold the vellum to create custom vellum envelopes. Cut and fold the vellum to create envelopes that showcase your message or pattern even before the card itself is opened.
Conclusion
Vellum paper, in all its coloured, transparent, and A4 sheet glory, is a versatile and beautiful addition to your cardmaking supplies. With a little creativity, you can use vellum paper to add dimension, create light effects, showcase watercolours, and incorporate text and images directly onto your cards. So, the next time you reach for cardmaking supplies, don't forget the power of vellum paper! With its ability to transform and enhance your designs, vellum paper will become a go-to element in your cardmaking repertoire.

When I worked at Guitar Center back in 2017, I fell in love with a used guitar that came into the store. I played it every day I went into work, but couldn't afford to buy it, so I was disappointed when I showed up one day to find it had sold. A few days later, a couple showed up to the store hoping to buy it back because it had belonged to their son who passed away soon after selling it. But, of course, it had already sold. They had spoken to my boss who told me because he knew I how much I'd loved that guitar. It was very sad to not be able to get their son's guitar back in their hands.
A few weeks later, I went into work early for a meeting. Sitting behind the counter was the guitar! The person who purchased it had returned it the night before & it was ready to put back up for sale. It just so happened to be my birthday that day & I had some money to play with, so I very excitedly put it on layaway. My boss was able to get me a discount on it, too, which is rare for used items. I was able to get the money together to purchase it within a few days. In hindsight, I think my excitement about it kept us from thinking to call the person's family right then. That would've been the most thoughtful thing to do. Instead, around the time I took it home, I looked up the name of the person who sold it to us in our system, then googled him. I was able to find someone on Facebook I was fairly certain was his relative & sent her a very long message explaining who I was & how I had the guitar. She responded a couple days later telling me that she was his mother & that she'd shared my message with the rest of his immediate family. She told me how wonderful & missed he was, that they were glad it was in the hands of someone who wanted it, & that they'd love to hear it again someday. It's still as touching for me to read today as it was when I first got it. And as long as I've had it in my possession, I've felt connected to the previous owner. It felt, and still very much feels, like he wanted me to have it. At first, it felt a bit like *his* guitar, but I was okay with that. I remember thinking things like "I promise I'll take care of it & love it as much as you did". As time has gone on, it now feels more like *ours*. Not his, not mine, but something we'll always share.
A year or so after I bought it, I was playing a show at a small bar. There was a couple sat right in front of me who very intently listened & seemed to be really enjoying it. Just before my set ended, they came up to me as they were about to leave & introduced themselves as his parents. My heart immediately swelled & tears filled my eyes. I hugged them & told them how glad I was to meet them. I will never forget that feeling. That was 2018. They've been to see me play a few times since & it always fills me with the same bittersweet feeling every time I see them.
I have been very fortunate to not have lost many loved ones in my life so far, just a grandpa, who I once got a feeling he helped me finish a song I was writing. But then, I lost two people close to me in December 2021 - my aunt & a close friend. Since their deaths, I've still felt very close to them. It's hard to explain, but in some ways, it feels like I'm more connected to them now than I was when they were here - especially my aunt. I believe she helped me finish the song I wrote about her in time for her birthday. Then I recently had an incredibly visceral dream where I heard her voice telling me she was tired & that she needed to go visit the others (which I interpreted as my mom, my other aunt, & my grandma) through *her* dreams, which confused me because I would've expected her to say *their* dreams. As for my friend, I've just been missing her a lot & occasionally feeling like she's around. Feeling their presence feels normal & safe to me because I knew them. And when I was very young, I used to feel my passed on brother's presence sometimes.
But the person who owned this guitar before me, I don't know him. I did see his parents again relatively recently & got a chance to ask them about him for the first time. They told me he liked the kind of music I play at my shows & where he got the guitar from. Turns out his dad & I share a birthday, which is kinda cool considering the guitar came back to me that day! But I didn't personally *know him*, you know?
So, about a month ago, I was in my kitchen alone & I said his name out loud followed by a request for him to give me a sign if I'm actually connecting with him. I don't know why, but I requested a "miniature toy car, like a Hot Wheel" (which I have no idea why I thought of that, as I don't have kids & never see or think about toy cars) or a "small green ceramic plate" within two weeks. The next day, I saw something much like a small green ceramic plate, but it was just the top of a wax melter. It wasn't a standalone plate though. Well, a few days later, I was over at a new friend's house for the first time. She brings up "mini brands", which I was unfamiliar with, so she brought out a big bag of miniature brands of things & spread them out on her coffee table. By golly, she had a miniature Hot Wheels. It was oddly exactly what I had pictured & I was STUNNED.
The next day, I was driving when I decided to make a voice recording on my phone telling that story because I didn't ever want to forget it. Ever since my friend's funeral (January 2022), I've had a little business card with her name & photo on it that they handed out that day sitting on this little nook in front of my passenger's seat. This is what I said, from the beginning:
"Okay, so on Tuesday, I made that voice recording about channeling after seeing a TikTok about that. And I was just thinking about, like, being connected - I don't know. There are times when I feel connected to... (*my friend's name*) or my aunt or my grandpa or (*previous guitar owner's name*), and I feel crazy for that. Like, I don't know if I'm completely delusional."
~*A gust of wind blows my friends card out of the nook & onto the floorboard, which has never happened in the 2+ years it's been sitting there.*~
"Wait, what the fuck?... What the fuck? Wait, what the fuck? After I said that... Wait, what the fuck? That can't... That wasn't... That's not... It must've been something else... Hold on? Wait? I'm driving, I can't stop. I'm gonna 'Highway Don't Care' myself." (Tim McGraw music video, iykyk.)
Sure enough, I pulled off the road to look & it was, in fact, her card that flew off. My voice recording continues with lots more profanity & bamboozlement. I continue to recount the story, feeling incredibly validated by my friend, as if she heard me call myself crazy & delusional & wanted to tell me to knock it off!
All this to say, I do feel connected to people I've known who've passed & I'm comfortable with that. But the guy who owned my guitar before me, he's been in my head a lot lately, particularly this past week. I just don't know why & it's a little scary. But I'm not scared of *him*, I'm just confused. Why do I keep thinking of him? Why do I feel so curious about him lately? My OCD keeps giving me intrusive thoughts like maybe it's not him, but some bad spirit or something. But I don't think that's the case, I truly believe he's safe. The other thought I've had is that maybe in trying to connect more with him, I'm unknowingly opening myself up to other spirits I don't want to be connected to. That's very scary to me because I don't really know what I'm doing.
Am I crazy? Am I even connecting at all? If so, how do I ensure my safety?
TLDR; I've been feeling more connected with the person who owned my guitar before me lately. I didn't know him, but I've always felt connected to him & I know he was a good person. I think I'm just afraid of connecting with souls of people I didn't know personally.