Bloody porn

So I'm looking for new music recommendations. I'm curious about bands that are fresh and new and also maybe some older ones I may have missed. I like rock music or ig hard rock music, but I'll listen to literally anything. This list is not a complete representation of my music tastes.
Here's some artists who I like, who am I missing??
Artists: Radiohead, The Beatles, The Police, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, RATM, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Foo Fighters, Queens of The Stone Age, The Smashing Pumpkins, Black Sabbath, Talking Heads, The Killers, Maneskin, Oasis, Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, Pixies, My Bloody Valentine, Grateful Dead, Van Halen, Mammoth WVH, Sublime, St. Vincent
TL;DR What is some new music that doesn't totally fucking suck

Most of you have probably seen the truly disastrous New York Times/Sienna swing state polls that came out this morning, that paint a dire picture for the ostriches in the Biden campaign. I understand dismissing polls from outlets like Rasmussen, because their entire polling operation is just a guy named Gary sitting behind a folding table in the lobby of the Rec Center at The Villages. But are we going to dismiss The New York Times? Are they part of the “vast right wing conspiracy” now too? What about NBC, Washington Post, NPR, CBS et al? And virtually all of the polls are wrong? Biden’s approval numbers? The “wrong track” numbers? Biden’s confidence numbers? The economic poll numbers? Everything is wrong? Really? Now who’s on “Earth II?”
And then there are the numbers themselves. A traditional (+/- 3%) MOE means a 6-point swing. NYT has Trump at +13 in Nevada. Assuming that poll is off by a whopping 50%, he’s still beating the swing. That’s disastrous. 10 points in Georgia? Horrible. 7 points in both Michigan and Arizona? All outside the swing. Polling among traditionally Democrat voting groups are even less encouraging. Recent polling indicates 30% of Black men are considering voting for Trump. Suppose that survey is off by 50%, it still means 15% - which is disastrous for Biden. Don’t even get me started on the youth vote. Many people forget that not too long ago, the big prizes of Ohio (18 electoral votes) and Florida (29 electoral votes) were up for grabs. With those two states now firmly in the Red column, the Democrats have a very narrow gauntlet to run.
For some reason, whether it’s rose-colored optimism or just plain denial, we’re all supposed to act as if everything is fine. From Simon Rosenberg to Geoff Garin to Molly Jong Fast (who I’m now calling Pauline Kael, Jr) we’re told not to worry. But you know things are bad when you watch turd-polishing Democrat operatives on cable news say things like:

“Well, Anderson, when you look at exurban, lactose-intolerant, Latvian-American independents with three fingers, aged 37-39, Biden is +2 compared to 2020…….”

My spleen is going to implode if I hear one more Democrat pundit say, “Don’t worry, polls this far out fluctuate wildly.” Yes, in a typical year they do. But this is no typical year. For the first time since 1892, two former presidents are running against each other, and that changes everything. Why pundits and campaign managers can’t seem to understand this is simply beyond me. Unless your comparisons are to the 1892 race, I don’t want to hear them. In a typical election year, polls move drastically in the last 6 months because the electorate is getting to know the challenger for the first time. That’s simply not the case this year.
Both these men are completely known quantities. There’s nothing left to discover. Both have run against each other before. Both have done the job of President before - very recently. Opinions are largely set. That’s why we’ve seen almost no movement in polls from 12 months out to 6 months out. Everything is baked. Trump killed one million Americans by ignoring COVID, staged a literal bloody coup attempt, was convicted of rape, defamation and a lifetime of financial fraud totaling almost half a billion dollars, and the needle didn’t move. If you think getting convicted of “falsifying business records” is going to move that needle, then I’ve got some oceanfront condos in Nebraska to sell you. He’s not going to jail. Short of him killing Kristi Noem’s other dog live on the Times Square Jumbo-Tron, Trump’s numbers are fixed. Biden fares no better. Is he going to get younger over the next 6 months? Are we going to have sudden deflation that wipes out 3 years of price increases? Is the Fed going to cut rates by 5 points? Are the Israelis and Palestinians going to start holding hands and singing Kumbaya? In 6 months? There are no October Surprises coming, folks - so don’t count on one.
That’s why we need to take these polls extremely seriously - NOW. No more dismissing them. No more waiting around hoping they’ll change. No more, “Just wait until “______” months out. No more whistling past the graveyard. Our task is different this cycle. It’s not about persuading open minds, it’s about changing voters’ closed minds, which is a far more difficult and lengthy task. Here are a few ideas for starting that process now:

1. LEAN HARD ON THE CONCEPT OF FREEDOM: Across the political spectrum most Americans share one core value: We like to be left alone. We don’t like busybodies (especially the government) telling us what we can and can’t do. We like our freedom. The GOP has already become the party of extremist, authoritarian busybodies, and their future plans are truly dystopian. We need to hang the entire party’s authoritarian impulses around Trump’s neck like an albatross. Book bans, IVF bans, abortion bans, protest bands, porn bans, voter suppression - these are not popular with the vast majority of Americans. We need to start portraying the GOP as the Handmaid’s Tale/SNL Church Lady/Nurse Ratchet figures that they are. (And it’s not hyperbole when it’s already happening in Red states coast to coast. We have plenty of ammo). The hallmark message of this campaign needs to be “Creepy Republicans (mostly men) are obsessed with your bedroom and your bathroom.” Do you want Ted Cruz in your OB/GYN’s exam room with you and your doctor? Because that’s where we’re headed if you elect Trump/Republicans. Educate the hell out of Americans on Project 2025 and its Evangelical-based Puritanism. That’s a long, tough task that needs to begin NOW, not in October.
2. EDUCATE PEOPLE ON BIDEN’S ACHIEVEMENTS: This shouldn’t have to be our job, but sadly Biden has been sitting in an ivory tower for 3+ years, refusing to use the world’s biggest bully pulpit to tout his own achievements. Add in a mainstream media that completely ignores him and it’s even worse. It might be too late. Read this truly stunning article from The Hill: 34% of Americans know NOTHING about the American Rescue Plan. 44% know NOTHING about the CHIPS Act. 24% know NOTHING about the Inflation Reduction Act. The infrastructure law fares no better, at 30% ignorance. 25% of the country thinks Biden is responsible for ending Roe V. Wade! Maybe educating them will pull a few percentage points our way, but it’s an uphill climb at this late date.
3. PROMOTE THE HELL OUT OF RFK, JR: I’ve been beating this drum for months now, and thankfully some Democrat operatives are starting to come around. RFK, Jr is one of the greatest gifts the Democrats have ever received, and they need to starting acting like it. Unlike Biden and Trump, he is the one candidate in this race that Americans are getting to know for the first time. And once they do, he pulls almost exclusively Trump voters. Kennedy has virtually no appeal to Democrats, once they get to know him and his policies. So educate them! Promote him! He is doing almost exclusively MAGA press, picking up almost exclusively MAGA endorsements, and taking almost exclusively MAGA positions. If you don’t believe me, please sign up for his emails. They are virtually indistinguishable from Trump’s messaging. Go to one of his events - you’ll find almost entirely former Trump supporters. As people have gotten to know RFK, Jr. his polling as gone from pulling mostly Biden supporters, to mostly even, to pulling mostly Trump supporters. His brand of wacky, anti-vax conspiracy theorism is perfectly poised to keep 3rd-party-curious voters from returning to Trump. Trump and his MAGA surrogates have been stepping up their attacks on RFK Jr lately, because even they know it in their bones. The Democrats need to promote RFK, by using social media to micro-target the anti-vax, conspiracy theorist, tinfoil-hat crowd that would traditionally go back to Trump. It’s a golden opportunity, and they’re blowing it.
4. STOP ACTNG LIKE IT’S 1982: Biden and his surrogates seem stuck in a time warp. They’re operating a campaign from a bygone era: Wait until the last few months, run some local TV ads with American flags and amber waves of grain, send out some junk mailers, pick up a union boss endorsement or two, get the local paper (if it even exists anymore) to endorse you, smile a lot, and kiss some babies. Meanwhile the GOP knows it’s in a fight for a knife in the mud. Trump is doing rallies - where are Biden’s? Trump and his minions are savaging Biden on a minute-by-minute basis - where are Biden and his surrogates? Don’t wait to go for the jugular - do it now. And keep that shiv in Trump’s neck for the next 6 months. Don’t worry about looking “Presidential” - worry about looking strong. Get creative and provocative with your dystopian ads. Scare people. Don’t worry about naysayers complaining that you’re exaggerating, because you’re not. Leverage social media - hard. Live in 2024. Embrace it. In other words - stop bringing a casserole to a knife fight.

None of these ideas may ultimately work, but we need to start the fight, and start it now.

Btw pilot not included OKAY LETS GO (long ass read, this took me 2 days lmao)
HAS NOT SANG: Katie Killjoy, Tom Trench, KeeKee, Fat Nuggets, Razzle, Dazzle, Egg Bois, Lilith
Susan: You mean like human flesh? By "Die, " do you mean use my teeth to rip flesh apart?
Mimzy: It's me! Yes it's me! I know you were all waiting for me, I'm here, what a gas, took awhile but I'm present at last, it's me, it's me, Mimzyyyyyyy!
Zestial: We can't act without more intelligence What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load, If it was thou who slew the angel, Why not let your strength be known?
Sir Pentious: Who could forgive a dirtbag like me? I don't deserve your amnesty Sorry I'm so sorry! It'll take time to cover, My vast multitude of sins, But sorry is where it begins, It starts with sorry
Valentino: Overlords hanging by a thread, with a bit of bravado, maybe tomorrow, we'll be atop the heap, While the rest of Hell's pissing! Fled with his tail between his legs! Nature abhors a power vacuum, it leaves room for you and me, the future of hell belongs to the vees!
Cherri Bomb: We can do this, we can build it, Best hotel that you've ever seen, twice the bedrooms, we can fill it fulfill your destiny! We can do this, we'll be better, though redemption may take a while, wayward sinners, clear their ledger and then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Lute: What are we even talking about? Some crack-whore who fucked up already? He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth, this discussion is senseless and petty! There's no question to be posed, he's unholy case closed, did you forget that hell is forever! Guess the cat's outta the bag! Ha! She should know
Sera: Of course it's just temporary, Im sorry you can't stay It's not as simple as you think, Not everything is spelled in ink I'm sure you wish it could be so, But there's a lot that you don't know Adam.. I thought, since I'm older, It's my load to shoulder You have to listen, it was such a hard decision, I wanted to save you, the anguish it takes to, Do what was required Emily..
Niffty: I was stuck, thank you sir! We can do this, we can build it, Best hotel that you've ever seen, Twice the bedrooms, we can fill it Fulfill your destiny To build a hotel I think we need some brick and lumber It's as easy as can be! We can do this, We'll be better, Though redemption may take a while, Wayward sinners dear they're ledger And then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
St Peter: Dearly beloved, it is my pleasure to say unto thee, Welcome to Heaven, oh-oh, Where the virtuous reside 24/7, oh-oh, People are happy that they died, 'Cause here we got no worries, got no burglaries, no strife, It's the perfect afterlife, Welcome to Heaven, 😩, Check out our sick décor, the spirits leaven, oh!, Please keep your brimstone off the floor, We've got the best and brightest, the politest of the lot, And everyone is h😩t! 'Cause every single day in Heaven is a happy day, Welcome to Heaven, yeah
Rosie: Oh, don't be put off by their snarlin', That's enthusiasm, darlin'! Don't worry, honey, That's their thing, Keep singing, We're super duper grateful To have you folks aboard They're dancing along, They're singing her song She's bound to pass the test as Princess of Hell, Like her Daddy, she is madly power-fell! I concur! Stick with her, we'll be on the winning side! For the first time in our lives, We know that we are ready for this, We'll show Heaven a fight they won't forget! It's time to take a stand We cannot take it anymore, The time has come to go to war, Prepare to fight, we're ready for... THIS!
Velvette: You've got it twisted, I'm not the one who needs a new attitude, Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch, And I will do nothing less than what I please, woo! I'm the backbone of the Vees, Mad that I acted respectless?, Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this, Sorry to the group attendin', Since when are overlords too scared to fight?, You're long past trendin', Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right, You lost your relevance Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless, I could eat you lot for breakfast Oops! Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, Couldn't help but observe, That your wrinkled face was turning red, And why are you avoidin' war?, That's what the guns you sell are for, Thanks to my being respectless, One thing I'm starting to suspect is, You know why this angel's headless, Do you have a disclosure?
Emily: Gosh, I'm so pleased to show some outsiders around, After you see our realm, you'll never wanna go back down 'Cause every single day in Heaven is a happy day Welcome to Heaven, yeah But she was right, Sera, She showed us a soul can improve, He saw the light, Sera, Checked all the boxes that you said would, Prove a person deserves a second chance, Now we turn our backs, no second glance? Wait! What are you saying? Let me get this straight, You go down there and kill those poor souls? Sera, tell me that you didn't know No! To think that I admired you, well, I don't need your condescension, I'm not a child to protect, Was talk of virtue just pretension? Was I too naive to expect you to heed the morals you're purveying? If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie, If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky, The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say, When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again
Vaggie: Charlie, hold on It's just a meeting This could be bad Okay, but just don't sing to them Is she- Ugh, no... Can we just kill him, shoot him and spill his blood Works for us When I saw your face, You made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place, And it felt so good to be understood, But there's so much I wished that I could say, So I, I'll be your armor, Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll spend my life being your partner And I will try to make your dreams come true Whatever we go through, I know I... I'll be your armour Whatever it takes I'll make the mistakes, whatever it takes Careful, Charlie, keep a cool head We should go Adam, no, please You've already done so much, So many lives you've changed, So many souls you've touched, And in the end, if it's only me you've saved There's something that I've been dying to say, More than anything, more than anything, Need you to know I love you more than anything More than anything We can do this, We can build it, Best hotel that you've ever seen! Twice the bedrooms, we can fill it It starts with you, you know it's true, fulfill your destiny! New coat of paint! With a little sorcery! We can do this, We'll be better, Though redemption may take a while, Wayward sinners, clear their ledger We're gonna do this, you and me, and then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Vox: Welcome home, I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone, Say hello to a new status quo, Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn, Turn the TV on! Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been, Who has been spotted cavorting around town, After a seven-year absence, Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program, So, the radio demon is back in town, Why is he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily, I've got good news, He's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile, But the demon is a coward! You can take that as gospel Pulling my viewers? Impossible! I'm visual, he's barely audible, Stop givin' him the time of day, Don't listen to a word he'd say, I hope he had a nice vacay, But he should've stayed away, While he hid in radio, We pivoted to videoNow his medium is gettin' bloody rare, Hell's been better since he split, Where's he been? Who gives a shit! What a dated voice! Come on! Ignore his chirping! Oh please! Hold on! You old-timey prick, I'll show you suffering, Uh oh, the TV is buffering! I'll destroy you, you little– FUUUUHUHUCKKKKAH! After the battle, masterless cattle, overlords hanging by a thread, with a bit of bravado, maybe tomorrow, we'll be atop the heap Alastor's missing, fled with his tail between his legs, nature abhors a power vacuum, it leaves room for you an me, the future of hell belongs to the vees
Husk: So things look bad, and your back's against the wall, Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless, You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall, Can't face the world sober and dopeless, You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked, Well, let me just say you're correct You're a loser, baby, A loser, goddamn baby, You're a fucked up little whiny bitch Your a loser, just like me your a screws loose boozer, an only one-star reviews-er your a power bottom, at rock bottom, but you got company There was a time I thought that no one could relate, To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged, But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!, We're all livin' in the same shit sandwich haha! and you think that makes you unique? get outta here man, We're both losers, baby, We're losers, it's okay to be a baby, that's fine by me You're a loser, Just like me, I got an appetite for gamblin' Go ahead baby, sing that song, come on! I sold my soul to save my power, Now I'm on that demon's leash, I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour A loser, but just maybe if we, Eat shit together, things will end up differently, It's time to lose your self-loathin', Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby, Play your card, be who you are, A loser, just like me We can do this, we can build it Best hotel that you've ever seen, Twice the bedrooms, we can fill it, With more sinners than you can dream fulfill your destiny! New lights across the marquee, with a little sorcery! We can do this, We'll be better, Though redemption may take a while, Wayward sinners dear they're ledger And then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Carmilla: You better show some respect!, Check your behavior, no one speaks to Zestial that way! Did you expect us, to sit back and take your insolent, brazen display? You and the vees are inane and uninformed, smug wannabees you don't heed when you've been warned this meeting's over I always thought, That I would keep blood off my face, But when that thing attacked, I had to act, To cross that line and keep them safe, But if anyone knew, Then all of Hell would rise to war And who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for, So I, I'll be your keeper, Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll keep you safe and keep this secret And I don't know what we might face, But I know I can't replace you so, I'll do anything to save you, Whatever we go through, I know I... I'll be your keeper, I'll be your armor, Whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll make the mistakes, Whatever it takes I see you're driven by your detestation, Your every step is stoked with animus, You need a different type of motivation, Or there's no way that you can handle this, I know you're thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie, You're out for blood, But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love, Out for love, love, Think of who you care about, protect 'em and be Out for love, love, You're gonna fight without gloves, long as you're out for love, Fuel yourself with the fear of losin', That somebody who's your reason to live, Harnеss your heart, and you can't help choosin', To fight with all you can give, I know you'rе thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie, You're out for blood, But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love, Out for love, love, Think of who you care about, protect 'em and be, Out for love, love, You're gonna fight without gloves, And when that push comes to shove, Yeah, you just might rise above, long as you're out for love
Angel: That bitch is halfway down the street Oh, she's dancin' Can we just kill him, shoot him, and spill his blood works for us I'm not above a love to cash in, Another lover underneath those flashin' lights, Another one of those ruthless nights, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I shoulda guessed that this would happen, I shoulda known it when I looked in your red-hot eyes, Spewin' all your red-hot lies, Yeah, yeah, yeah, What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself, 'Cause I know you're poison, you're feedin' me poison, Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow up your poison, I made my choice, and every night, I'm livin' like there's no tomorrow, Oh-oh, oh-oh, Any way you want me, baby, that's the way you got me, I'll be yours, My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison, I got so good at bein' untrue, I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear, I disassociate, disappear, Yeah, yeah, yeah, So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp, Yeah, I know it's poison, you're feedin' me poison, I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow up your poison, I made my choice, and every night, I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow, Oh-oh, oh-oh, Any way you want me, baby, that's the way you got me, I'll be yours, My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison, Poison, I'm drownin' in poison, I'm fillin' up my glass, but it's always hollow, Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison, Wish I had something to live for tomorrow We can do this, we can build it, Best hotel that you've ever seen, Twice the bedrooms, we can fill it You know it's true fulfill your destiny! Start with foundation It's as easy as can be! We can do this, we'll be better, though redemption may take a while, wayward sinners clear they're ledger and then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Adam: Let me stop you right there, Save us all precious time, If what you're suggesting Is letting them climb, Up the ladder, Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, But there's no defyin' their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever, Whether you like it or not, Had their chance to behave better, Now they boil in the pot, 'Cause the rules are black and white, There's no use in tryin' to fight it, They're burnin' for their lives, Until we kill 'em again! Just try to chillax, babe, You're wasting your breath, Did I hear you imply, That they don't deserve death? Are they Winners? Are they Sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry, Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done, There's the question of fun, And for those of us with Divine Ordainment, Extermination is entertainment! Bow-now-now-nownow Guitar solo, fuck yeah! Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow, Hell is forever, Whether you like it or not, Had their chance to behave better, Now they boil in the pot, 'Cause the rules are black and white, There's no use in tryin' to fight it, They're burnin' for their lives, Until we kill 'em again! Fuckin' Hell's forever, And it's meant to suck a lot, So give up your dumb endeavor 'Cause you don't have a shot!, Long as I've got your attention, I guess I should probably mention, That we made the determination, To move up the next Extermination! Can't wait a whole year, To slaughter those little cunts, I know it's just been a week, But we'll be back in six months! There's no question to be posed, he's unholy cased closed, did you forget that hell is forever? A man only lives once, we'll see you in 1 month, gotta say I can't wait to come down and exterminate you! Shit.. Whoops! Wh-what's the big deal? Don't you act all high and mighty, did you ever think your little "girlfriend" might be a liar? What's the fuss? Why hid the fact that your an angel just like us?
Lucifer: Haha, Looks like you could use some help, From the big boss of Hell himself, Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp (Five stars! Flawless! Greater than great!) Oh, with the punch of a pentagram, I wap-bam-boom, alakazam, Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb, But you get the family rate ("thanks dad!"), Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? (wow), Michelin-tasting menu, free à la carte, I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref, Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just a start! Uh, what? Hold on, now Others say, that in your needy hour, There's no substitute for pure angelic power! Who just happens to also be your blood! What a bunch of losers your song, I started this! Oh, you tacky piece of- You didn't know that when I tried this all before, My dreams were too hard to defend, And in the end, I won't lose it all again, Now you're the only thing worth fighting for, More than anything, more than anything, I'll shelter and adore you more than anything I've been dyin' to find out who you are Looks like the apple doesn't fall far! I've missed that smile All that I'm hopin', now that my eyes are open, Is that we can start again, not be pulled apart again, 'Cause in the end, you are part of who I am, I'll support your dream, whatever lies in store More than anything More than anything, I'm grateful you're my daughter more than anything, More than anything Come on little lady, why the frown? In the last ten-thousand years, You're the first one to change this town, You can do this, now I know it, For your story has just begun, You can't quit now, hell, you owe it, There's still damage to be undone, You've changed my mind, you've touched their hearts, From the good and souls gone bad The stage is wrecked, the crowd is gone, But by God, Charlie! The show, it must go on, We can do this, we can build it, Best hotel that you've ever seen, Twice the bedrooms, we can fill it, With more sinners than you can dream, It starts with you, You know it's true, Fulfill your destiny Good thing we're in Hell, Check out this little magic number Remedial creation for me, It's as easy as can be! We can do this, we'll be better, though redemption may take a while, wayward sinners, clear their ledger oh, this guy... And then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Alastor: Salutations! Good to be back on the air, Yes, I know it's been a while, Since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast, Sinners, rejoice! Instead of a clout-chasin' mediocre video podcast Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothin' working? Every day, he's got a new format Is Vox as strong as he purports, Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees And here's the sugar on the cream, He asked me to join his team I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea Uh oh, the TV is buffering! I'm afraid you've lost your signal Let's begin, I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone, Tune on in when I'm done, Your status quo will know its race is run, Oh, this will be fun Who's been here since day one? Who's been faithful as a nun? Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun? Your executive producer? I'm your guy, your day-to-day, Your chum, your steadfast hotelier, Remember when I fixed that clog today? I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond, You're like the child that I wish that I had, I care for you, just like a daughter I spawned, It's a little funny, you could almost call me dad They say, when you're looking for assistance, It's smart to pick the path of least resistance Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud, They say the family you choose is better Can you butt out of my song? I'm singing it, I'll finish it! And feast on all the angels you can eat! She's bound to pass the test as Princess of Hell, Like her Daddy, she is madly power-fell! She's filled with potential that I could guide Stick with her, you'll be in the winning side! For the first time in our lives, We know that we are ready for this It's time to take a stand We cannot take it anymore, The time has come to go to war, Prepare to fight, we're ready for... THIS! This place reeks of death, there's a chill in the air, And I barely escaped being killed by a hair, "Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends" Sorry to disappoint, that is not where this ends, I'm hungry for freedom like never before, The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor, Once I figure out how to unclip my wings, Guess who will be pulling all the strings? And we're doing it with a smile And then tomorrow it will be a fuckin happy day in hell!
Charlie I can do this, somehow I know it, I'll get Heaven behind my plans There's just no way I could blow it, Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance To change their minds and touch their hearts, Or whatever angels have Cheer up, Vaggie, This could be swell, Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air, Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare, It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere, If you don't mind the smell, It's a happy day in Hell, Hi, mister! Hello! Ah, excuse me! If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, That any soul can change, Those angels' minds are hard to change, Then they will know everyone can be redeemed, From the evil to the strange, They're bloodthirsty and deranged! I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced, And I know that they're more of an acquired taste, But if I open the door and I give them a place, At my Hazbin Hotel, It'll be a happy day in Hell, From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go, To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows, To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown, 'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye! 'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide, I can do this, I just know it, I'll get Heaven behind my plans, There's just no way I could blow it, Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance to change their minds Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna, Fulfill my destiny! I can already tell Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell I know Hell's population is out of control, It's a bad situation, It's taking a toll, If we rehab these Sinners And cleanse all their souls, At my Hazbin Hotel, Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! I know you guys fly down Just to kill once a year, And it must be annoying To schlep all the way here, If they join you in Heaven That trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell G A S P It'll be a happy day in he- Oh.. ..'Kay Well, uh Okay, but Well, actually, if you take a look- Ugh where the Hell did you people come from? What? Um, wait, didn't you- Ugh, shit! It starts with sorry, That's your foot in the door, one simple sorry, Spoken straight from your core, The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts, But sorry is where it starts That's an option you could choose But who hasn't been in his shoes? It starts with sorry Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry And your journey's underway, It'll take time to cover your vast multitude of sins, But sorry is where it begins, It starts with sorry thanks dad! That's true! Oh, you! awwww When I was young, I didn't really know you at all, I always felt so small, But I heard your stories and I was enthralled, The tales about your lofty dreams, I listened breathlessly, Imagining it could be me, So in the end, it's the view I had of you, That showed me dreams can be worth fighting for, More than anything, more than anything, I need to save my people more than anything I've been waiting, wanting the same thing Took you a while All that I'm hopin', now that my eyes are open, Is that we can start again, not be pulled apart again, 'Cause in the end, you are part of who I am And who could ask for more? More than anything More than anything I'm grateful you're my father more than anything, More than anything It's not fair, Sera No! Don't you care, Sera? That just because someone is dead, it doesn't Mean they can't resolve to change their ways, Turn the page, escape infernal blaze You didn't know? That's what the fuck I've been saying! If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky, The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say, When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again, I was told not to trust in angels No! Don't you see? We've come so close, Look at them fighting, they're at each other's throats Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it? Eh, sort of, It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally be faced with, A billion needy faces, I guess what I mean to say is, for the first time in my life, I might have to be ready for this, Ready to be the one who's leading from the front, Gotta come into my own, Gotta come into my throne, Gotta take charge and defend my only home, And although I kinda feel unsteady, Now I need to be ready for this, Have you ever felt like you're willing to die to save the people of your city? That's a start! 'Cause right now we need a leader, And it seems to me that destiny has picked me, To be that, if you'll permit me, so who's with me? Wouldn't it be super to see more of Hell? Join up now if you like travel, Come on boys, hop in the saddle!, Lotta sights to see en route to my hotel, Not to mention the camaraderie, Yes siree, you'll form life-changing friendships, With the folks along the way Okay.. Well, that's a little violent, can we tone it down? Eh, they just seem a little murdery right now We're super-duper grateful, To have you folks aboard Oh, lord For the first time in my life, Maybe I can be ready for this, I can be the marshal leading the parade, I can come into my own, and I think I've always known, My destiny could never be postponed, When Adam brings the battle here, I must appear like I'm ready for this For the first time in our lives, we know that we are ready for this! It is time to lend a hand! Against the angels, and their deadly threat! We cannot take it anymore, The time has come to go to war, Prepare to fight, We're ready for this! I really hope that I'm ready for this There's something that I've been dying to say, More than anything, more than anything, Need you to know I love you more than anything,.More than anything He did it for us, the ultimate sacrifice, He gave me his trust, and look how we pay the price, This bloodshed could have been avoided, If I convinced Heaven to work together, I took a hotel and I destroyed it, I know I could have done better, Better, instead of letting you down So long as I've got all of you with me! No time for crying, we got a lot of work to do and, We gotta try and make the best of what's in ruins With a little sorcery! We'll make a difference, wait and see We can do this We'll be better Though it may take a while We're gonna do this, you and me, And then tomorrow it will be a fuckin' happy day in Hell!
Hey shit your still here?

It isn't often that a letter to the editor of my hometown newspaper checks just about all of the womb sniffer boxes.
So he knows about women's rights because he had a mother, sisters, a wife, and daughters.
Great! I grew up with four brothers. Let me declare vasectomies compulsory for all males at, say, 13. That okay with you, Larry?
So abortion ban bills put money in the pockets of Planned Parenthood. Gee, that must be why it's so easy to find a Planned Parenthood in every town of any size in the United States, and every one of them offers abortion care. Oh wait ...
More of the torture porn fantasies of cold hearted sluts instructing mercenary doctors to pull 38 week fetuses out in bloody chunks just for the hell of it. Yeah, seems legit.
If you would rather see babies born to people who don't want a baby, Larry, I guess I can't help you on that. Maybe it hasn't occurred to you yet that a woman doesn't owe gestation to every implanted and fertilized zygote. A woman forced into motherhood is going to make a crummy mother. I can't imagine how you would think that anything but tragic.
Oh yes, women use abortion as birth control, because every woman has a cool grand per occurrence lying around for those unexpected oopsies three or four times a year. A simple medication abortion in the state of Kansas right now costs about $800. That's the medical fee, and does not include the costs of travel to a clinic that performs one, The possible cost of having to take off work at a job that doesn't offer paid time off, and the expenses incurred during that travel. This is for an early medication abortion, which basically involves taking pills that will induce a miscarriage of the pregnancy. I know that will disappoint you because it's not bloody and gory enough, but such it is.
I'm glad you enjoy your 19 great grandchildren, whom I presume were born to willing and welcoming parents. Not all children are so lucky. You might also stop to think that if you are 87 years old, you raised your children during a time when it was much easier for families to survive economically on one income.
Have I missed anything? Oh, yes ... Mind your own business. 😁

At my age of 17 most of the elite and upper middle class kids mostly from Co ed and liberal or secular do 2 things:
1.Watch porn to satiate their feelings of Horniness.
2.try finding a dating partner.
In the name of sexual education they simply watch a video that turns men into sex machines and women into sex dolls and removes boundaries that islam has made. Boys will now actively use their brains to imagine a fellow class mate naked or teacher naked and will actively try impressing them for intercourse. as for the girls masturbation and self pleasure or even going on a guy will occur. This is all being done in the name of progressiveness and modernization.
In reality after studying countless article is have come to decide that this idea of dating is a precursor to an even perverse and toxic culture.
I studied the trends related to this specially in America. To keep it short it.
The idea of dating truly took hold in the 18th century due to spread of novels mostly on romance and erotica. But it was confined to the elites. Soon by the mid 18th the trend spread to the middle and working classes hence stories of a daughter running away with a man she desired spread. in the 19th century it was common to date but not to have premarital sex and most of the time the couple would always get married meaning from the first time a guy met a girl they would always marry.
In the 1940s this began changing. After the second world war Many men returned home and the scene exploded with men and women alongside them a new invention spewed upon America.
CONTRACEPTION.
although since time immemorial it has existed but only until the 19 century and the cold war era saw wide spread use.
In the 1950 condoms became common in a Medical shop or store and sales doubled.
the entirety of the industries related to adult shows and contraception boomed as now due to wide spread usage the fear of having a child vanished. A child is a responsibility and only when both partners in marriage acknowledge each others character can they truly be called adults but here the smash and pass culture was born and now it was normal for the generations to have sex at 18 or 20 but not below. 17 was a rare case.
in the 1990s with the internets creation porn became available with no boundaries thus even the younger ones could now access. American adults at the time simply made it as much open as they had seen and done. within schools the literature was actively made to be in such a way that the child would indirectly go towards Porn. During the 1990s the trend started to change as now even kids as young as 12 ordered condoms secretly online and used them. Flash forward to 2010 nearly 90 000 cases were recorded of 12 years old pregnancies almost all had abortions. and as for the ages above that well to keep it simple here is an avg i took which is nearly 100 0000 cases estimated across America. Most had abortions. now we come to 2024 the dating culture is now more or less Smash and pass with many men and women treating it as a sign of respect for having slept with Porn stars or having slept with 20 or 50 people, the avg is 40 people per person and going up. Its seen as an achievement for women to be free PROSTITUTES
. On average 1 out of 3 men and 1 out of 2 women have had pre-marital sex at 17 not 18.
1 out of 50 women in America as of 2024 has an Only Fans or some other platform .at bloody ages of 15 there are estimates of 1 in 100 not 1000 women having sent or sold nudes.
In looks all is there but no character. Money Drugs bad boys and bad girls that's their image and portrayal of themselves.
Men walk around displaying all inches of muscle and every way they go the throw cash to attract females. The females in turn display every curve to find a male from which they can eat.
Like animals who try to find mates by displaying their Bodies they are nothing but worthless as they know and think that we cannot attract attention through the way of hard work.
Even the red pills who call themselves STOICs are nothing but pimps on one side they claim that one must not run after women but after looking at their expensive lifestyles and tough guy acts in public one can wonder are they really even trying to hide their lust.
And now as the LGBTQIA clouds of spectrum spread over America Children as young as 9 dress up as drag queens and actively come on live shows wearing clothes that are so thin and see through. I call this legalized pedophilia. This is the face of Hookups. Not for finding a life partner but for simple sexual pleasure and then all is sent to trash. Every generation that came once the ideas spread in the 18 century made the field more open and made it even more normal so it went from a taboo in which men and women cannot do it other than marriage to call a girl on tinder and go to their house when the parents are gone and do it, age isnt a problem even 17 year old men can bang a 24 year old school teacher or a 9 year old guy having his virginity taken by a college girl. This is all as normal as food now.
thank you for reading and Hope ye have a hearty day or night ahead of ye
i leave another link to a post on Islamic gender education for those of ye interested to.
https://www.reddit.com/PakLounge/comments/1cb8q8f/how_we_destroyed_sex_education_in_islampls_read/
links to my sources.
https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/2016/review-children-young-people-harmful-sexual-behaviour-online
https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/2017/impact-online-offline-child-sexual-abuse
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9922938/
https://wchh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/tre.791
https://philpapers.org/archive/COLEOP.pdf
https://www.apa.org/monito2013/02/sexual-hookup-culture.pdf
https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/young-teen-pregnancy/index.html
https://opa.hhs.gov/adolescent-health/reproductive-health-and-teen-pregnancy/trends-teen-pregnancy-and-childbearing
https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrOqofOZjZmnYsJb3FXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNncTEEcG9zAzQEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1716050894/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fcrsreports.congress.gov%2fproduct%2fpdf%2fR%2fR45184/RK=2/RS=OZ.jaAm4oxD18.o7NzipP8q4Siw-
https://archive.org/details/porningofamerica0000sarr_n7d5
https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/the-real-problem-with-hooking-up-bad-sex/274543/
https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5q9yx/smash-or-pass-and-the-eternal-appeal-of-online-thirst
https://www.vice.com/en/article/4aw4kd/bimbofication-is-taking-over-what-does-that-mean-for-you
https://archive.org/details/riseofselfishnes0000coll/mode/2up
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/sexual-behaviour-children/
https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5q9yx/smash-or-pass-and-the-eternal-appeal-of-online-thirst
https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=Awrg1W7qZzZmR0QLI89XNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNncTEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1716051178/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fdigitalcommons.uri.edu%2fcgi%2fviewcontent.cgi%3farticle%3d1053%26context%3ddignity/RK=2/RS=fQ4f_WE92_2th1X_2YIP2MmcvQU-
https://archive.org/details/behind-porn-and-porn-industry-and-how-it-hurts-real-truth-about-pornography.
Some books that i used for the study of this stuff in Islamic terms
Kitab al talaq.
Sexuality in islam{MUST READ THIS}
The islamic Guide to sexual relations.
Prostitution in the Ottoman empire {yes it existed}
Taste of Honey is a thought-provoking work on a highly sensitive, yet extremely important subject.{must read}
Islamic marriage handbook.
https://www.reddit.com/PAK/comments/1c5izoa/child_marriage_in_islam_pls_do_read/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Cheating hafidh husband
Hi I married my husband bcs I thofunt he was a good Muslim and that’s important to me . I met him at professional school 8 years ago where he was a religious leader. He is also a strong hafidh. We had insane tumultuous fights. He was abusive , manipulative, secretive, impulsive. He would do satanic things like threaten to kill himself, cut off body parts, scream bloody murder, put his face in najasa to make me traumatized and stay.
Nikkah fell apart three times in seven years bcs of drama and stalking and cruelty. There was a lot of space bcs he lived states away when school was out and he was not helpful in my journey for my career when I needed him. I thofunt how can he be away from me for seven years shouldn’t a good Muslim man seek to be married. Threats if I tried to leave and move on- mind games. So I stayed. He would also make huge nadhrs and oaths by God saying may Allah burn his mother in the deepest fires of hell- may he lose his job- may Allah reveal him to the world etc if he’s lying - “no chance for repentance if I’m lying” and then make an oath that proceeds to be a lie. Constantly . But making oaths by Gods name helped me stay bcs I believed them.
Last year finally we got married. We had zero intimacy- zero. After a year of this I got fed up one night he came home late. His job schedule is crazy so he got away with it for a long time- a doctor— overnights, extra shifts, and long hours and long commute . I found he was going on dates often. He did not come clean so I moved out and he did not own up for two weeks.
Slowly I uncovered he has an obsession with videos of same sex intimacy… it is an illness and a strange fetish and addiction. He has scammed hundreds (honestly.. probably thousands he says) of women and men for photos and videos and dates. Looks like sex addiction. Rewired his brain for over a decade.. he had been going to massage parlors for intimacy .. a lot of stuff - does this stuff on the street.. looks like he’s seeking a fix all the time he says the thoughts are compulsive and regular. He claims no sex but I see him coercing men for sex in chats..
I saw romantic pursuits in his social accounts dating back years… he didn’t talk to me so sweetly and flirtatiously and see me and be intimate with me like that …romantic pursuits with coworkers… he says the end game was to satisfy his addiction but it never got there it stopped at the cute relationship stage. What it did get to is flirtation, praise, “adoration”, dinners, coffees, working closely overnight daytime etc. confidantes. This close with one or two currently. Had multiple girlfriends at work.. saw videos in bed etc… while he was delaying our marriage. The relationships hurt the most even though he claims the end game was satisfying his illness
I feel crazy Per him it’s an illness. Addiction/ fixation/ component of ocd maybe … he is a pathological liar though. Definitely personality disorders in there
He got spiritual healing , “made sincere Tawbah”, saw psychiatrist but they don’t know the full story but he’s on meds… seeking more psychiatrists to tell the actual full story and get more opinions .. going to pilgramage - hoping to reset.. he’s desperate for me to stay. But he’s been caught before with a porn addiction and made tawbah/ pilgrimage/ ruqya— still did all this after it was not some miracle reset.
He defends that by saying the root issue was never addressed and now it is and it will be different. Says he didn’t love anyone else he has been desperately in love with me for years and wants to get better and start a family .. My own family is shocked and hurt
My judgement is clouded. I’ve been gaslit to the extremes for years … He wants to get better and he wants to stay and his whole family knows and is involved But It’s been what 15 years of his life ? Hundreds of people … Coworkers… Still not fully transparent
I feel like he’s just getting away with it … as ignorant as that might sound idk. His family is being gentle with him bcs he victimizes himself acting like he’s terrified of losing me He is a Quran teacher and hafidh with a good reputation in his communities for that reason He has his family to help him with anything I am the one who lost my mehram and help in life
I’m tired and clouded and my fairytale burst
If I was ur family what would u say?
Tl;dr: hafidh husband with fetish and sex addiction cheated with thousand people and is begging me to stay claiming repentance but is still hiding more details

Hello everyone,
I am 32 years old, male. I weigh around 60 Kgs, 180 cms. Have been skinny my entire life. I sport regularly and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I have also been a virgin, only recently when I attempted to have sex. I believe since it was my first time, I did get quite excited for it. While my partner was rubbing my penis still within my pants, I came. The embarrassment did not stop here, as after some time, when I was hard again we moved to the bed, I was soft again quickly and while she started to jerk me off, I came again without going full hard. The next morning, I could keep hard longer, but while rubbing it on her body, I couldn't control it and came almost immediately.
A quick note here - 2 weeks before this, I was taking some homeopathic medicine called Acid Nitric 200 to relieve a hemorrhoid that had gone really bloody. I am not sure if this was also the cause of decreased blood flow in my penis. This is the only medicine I know that works for me for the hemorrhoid, as it did get better and I stopped like 2 days before the activity.
Another important note - I also felt a bit of a sensation around the right leg before this. And now it has turned out to be slightly numb since that day. I still feel like a difference when I touch the right shin vs the left. Almost like the sensation of decreased blood flow.
A bit of an history around me, ever since puberty, I somehow got myself into porn. I used to masturbate everyday till the age of 26. I then found out about NoFap and how it can boost some confidence, and started following it. The longest I believe I went without masturbating was 6 months, and have occasional wet dreams. Did my best to almost quit porn as well. Some time later I got back into porn in the form of sexting online, I would edge for days before actually ejaculating. Had no issues in getting hard all this time.
The weird scenario - 2 days past this, I starting touching my penis and was rubbing it, I got it hard, but almost immediately felt like I am cumming and there was no way I could stop it. I indeed ejaculated with some cum right after.
I am genuinely a bit worried. My partner has been very understanding so far thankfully. I am reaching out here to understand the situation a bit better. Am I suffering from premature ejaculation, or it could be linked to the medicine, or is there any other underlying condition I should be worried about? The most important of all, how should I solve this, would already reaching out to the GP be ideal here?
Thanks for your attention and responses in advance 🙏

Horus Heresy Book 16: Age of Darkness, an anthology
More short stories. But these are some quite interesting ones including one of our favorites which we have been gushing about every week when looking forward to this book. Again this is an interesting choice to go and explore more of the world and side events, rather than continuing with the main storyline. The Heresy era, much like 40K itself, is treated somewhat akin to a setting, a backdrop to grim dark events, rather than an actual plot itself. We get large key events but most of the story is going on elsewhere. There is no theme to these stories. It is filler - some good, some bad.
“Leon climbed unsteadily to his feet. ‘When I get back,’ he husked, ‘I will tell everyone what you have done. I’ll stop you. I’ll make sure all the other worlds are warned!’
‘No, you won’t.’ Mendacs turned away. ‘You have a choice, Leon. You must swear your loyalty to Horus Lupercal and deny the Emperor’s dominion. Because by the time the Skyhook carries you down to the surface, the colony of Virger-Mos II will belong to the Warmaster. Not through force of arms, but because of the weakness of the people who live there. Because they have exchanged their fear of one thing they have never seen for the fear of another.’ He spared the youth one last look. ‘And if you do not join them, they will be the ones who kill you.”
As with our previous anthology review: the synopsis, review and score will be given for each story, with a final overall review and score at the end.
Synopsis / Review / Score “Rules of Engagement”:
Synopsis: Captain Ventanus of the Ultramarines is tasked with testing Roboute Guilliman’s great work - The Codex Astartes. A manual detailing how to respond to any tactical situation, no matter the odds, no matter the foe. But will it work against the enemy Roboute never expected to encounter - other space marines.
Ventanus battles the grinding Death Guard; the bloodthirsty World Eaters; the pyrotechnic Salamanders (wait a minute - have they turned traitor too?!); before finally holding out against Horus’s invasion of their homeworld.
It turns out that this is all conducted via an “Oculus Rift” and the Ultramarines are playing wargames to test and fine tune their tactics.The Ultramarines are big fans of larping apparently.
Review: Interesting story that tries to pull off a clever twist. I was genuinely shocked when I read the UItramarines attacking Salamanders the first time. The twist is fine - without being particularly mind blowing. This bait and switch will be used again in future short stories. It feels like the sci fi version of “it was all a dream” story trait. Above average bolter porn. We do get hints for what happened to Calth and “Know No Fear”....
Scores: 6.0/10
Synopsis / Review / Score “Liar’s due”:
Synopsis: Alpha Legion conquers a backwater little agri- planet without needing to turn up. A single Alpha Legion cultist without shooting a single bullet conquers a world. The ordinary citizens are terrified, fearing the Warmaster is coming.
The story uses the threat of fake news and lights in the sky to take over the world. It fully shows how the power of the Alpha Legion can work.
Review: Possibly my favourite short story of the Horus Heresy. The idea of a planet falling to Horus without a single marine making planetfall is great. Brilliantly written bits of subterfuge and deception and showing the fear the Heresy is striking into the ordinary citizens of the Imperium. The quote from Mendacs at the end is harrowing. This feels almost inspired by the Twilight Zone story “The Aliens are Due on Maple Street”
Score: 10/10 - A perfect story, that shows how humanity is affected by fear. No transhumans in armour, no guns, no chaos. Just fear and tricks to completely change a people’s minds. This is the best depiction of the Alpha Legion just quietly getting on with what they are best at.
Synopsis / Review / Score “Forgotten Sons”:
Synopsis: A Salamander and a Ultramarine get shot down and end up in shenigans, trying to convince a neutral world to remain part of the Imperium. Iron Warriors blow up a neutral planet as a “demonstration of a show of force” which the people will respect….What?
Review: Score: 7.0/10 - This one is a bland and mostly forgettable story that we honestly had to look through the synopsis for to fully remember. The buddy cop aspects between the mean Ultramarine and the friendly Salamander are about the best bits. The Warmaster seems to not be great at hiring ambassadors or assassins either….
Synopsis / Review / Score “The Last Remembrancer”:
Synopsis: A traitor ship enters the solar system and is captured by the Imperial Fists. A remembrancer, Solomon Voss, is discovered and taken to Titan as a prisoner. Dorn arrives to interview/interrogate his old friend. He is accompanied by Iacton Qruze. Voss explains how he has been at the side of Horus witnessing his terrible crimes. Dorn and Qruze argue over the fate of Voss. Qruze states that the Imperium must be willing to be ruthless to ensure victory, whilst Dorn clings to the old “honorable” ways. Qruze reveals that Voss was returned to Dorn by Horus as a gift, one which strikes a psychological blow against the Praetorian.
Dorn reluctantly agrees, executes Voss, and orders the body and all writings to be burned.
Review: A slow but interesting story. We can see how the Imperium will be tested to do dark things, and commit evil deeds, all in the name of “winning”. This subject will be covered later in “The Silent War” anthology. This is a psychological story, with Dorn receiving a blow without a bullet being fired. Voss tells him “ "the future is dead, Rogal Dorn. It is ashes running through our hands" and it clearly breaks something deep in Dorn. It's weird that Dorn has this reputation as a granite bastion of self-control but this is the second time he has flown off the handle. You get the feeling that Voss is one of many individuals who will mysteriously disappear across the galaxy in order for the Imperium to maintain order. It would have been good to have met him before his corruption by Chaos.
Score: 8.0/10
Synopsis / Review / Score “Rebirth”:
Synopsis: Captain Kalliston, of the Thousand Sons, is captured. After Prospero is burned by the Space Wolves he returns against his primarch orders, and second in command - Arvida. to witness the devastation. Enemy astartes are spotted in the ruins and Kalliston is knocked unconscious in the ambush. He awakes, bound, tortured and interrogated by a foe that refuses to show his face. Kalliston assumes he is one of the Space Wolves, looking to retrieve information as to the disappearance of Magnus.
Kharn of the World Eaters steps into the light. He has been sent by Horus to recover a power pendant used by Magnus to contact Horus during the temple of Davin visions.
Regaining focus and strength, Kalliston uses his psychic powers to peer into Kharn’s soul. For a fleeting moment it seems that Kalliston can reverse the damage caused by the butcher’s nails, and he offers an olive branch to heal Kharn - finally ridding him of the debilitating psychosis. The moment is lost and a wave of rage overcomes Kharn who beats Kalliston to death.
Away from Kalliston, Arvida steals away back to his ship, now commandeered by World Eaters. He executes their leader and escapes using his powers. Review: A fantastic story with a twist that you do not see coming. The brief moment where Kalliston gains the upper hand, and Kharn could be “saved” is a great moment. Then it all comes crashing down in a blurry of anger and fists. Poor Kalliston.
Score: 9.0/10
Synopsis / Review / Score “The Face of Treachery”:
Synopsis: The main plot for this story involves a World Eater’s vessel hunting down Raven Guard after the Isstvan massacre. The World Eater’s commander is desperate to stay near Isstvan with the aim of joining the rest of his legion to finish off the Raven Guard in close quarter combat. The arrival of a fleet of Raven Guard support vessels in the system gives Corax and the remaining survivors a chance to flee. Orders are given to the World Eater vessel to intercept, but the bloodthirsty commander ignores these. He is summarily executed by his second in command, an Alpha Legion agent.
The Alpha Legion discuss their future infiltration of the Raven Guard legion as they escape to Terra setting us up for “Deliverance Lost”.
Review: Alpha Legion doing Alpha Legion things, playing both sides as part of their grand plan. I would have enjoyed this more if there was a more subtle build up to the Alpha Legion pulling on all the strings. All the confused and messy bits of the story can be blamed on “Alpha Legion did it” which is not the greatest story telling technique. Gav Thorpe is building a reputation for occasionally writing nonsense. An unneeded prequel.
Score: 5.0/10
Synopsis / Review / Score “Little Horus”:
Synopsis: Little Horus Aximand gets a discount ‘face lift”. Little Horus is plagued with doubts and nightmares following Istvaan. He keeps imagining a figure dueling him. He seems to want to return everything to how it was; he tries to rebuild the Mournival but it ends up with an Abbaddon crony. He goes to fight Iron Hands on the world of Dwell and ends up getting attacked by a White Scar, who slices off his face. It gets reattached and Horus is left with a constantly sad expression.
In his dreams, the figure is revealed to be Loken, which leaves him relieved as he knows Loken is dead GEE, I HOPE THIS IS NOT DRAMATIC IRONY/FORESHADOWING
Review: It's nice to get back to the Sons of Horus and understand more about the originally set up characters who we followed for the first three books. It is quite weird to come back to them after all this time. Poor Lil’ Horus. He just wants to go back to how it used to be and does not fully understand the corruption that has fundamentally changed his legion.
Score: 8.0/10
Synopsis / Review / Score “The Iron Within”:
Synopsis: An Iron Warrior plays the greatest game and, again, blows things up. Barbaras Dantioch, a crippled Warsmith, has been left to defend a fortress. Unfortunately, Pertarabo did not send him the memo about joining Horus so he is forced to defend it against Brother Iron Warriors. This story includes an incredibly touching death of a Dreadnaught; not quite up there with the one on Istvaan III but it touches the heart strings. The ending is superb and quite possibly the most awesome thing ever done by an Iron Warrior. Seriously, go and read the ending.
Review: Score: 9.0/10 - A fantastic fun story which shows that the Iron Warriors have fanatical levels of stubbornness inherited from their Father. The upside fortress in an amazing idea. The besieging forces are deeply stupid and should have just pulled back and kept the enemy trapped. But hey, Pertarabo is a stubborn git.
Synopsis / Review / Score “Savage Weapons”:
Synopsis: The Dark Angels have battled the Night Lords on the worlds of the Aegis sector and have hit a grueling and bloody stalemate. Konrad issues a parley to the Lion. A chance to meet, agree to part ways and fight wars elsewhere. Both attend with two bodyguards, whilst their remaining fleet remain in orbit.
The two sides spar with words and insults, but it is the Lion who throws the first punch. The two primarchs duel, and if not for Corswain the Lion’s story could have come to an early end.
Review: It’s two primarchs having a fight. The idea of Konrad Curze offering a parley to the Lion is laughable. It's fine, without doing anything different or interesting. We had no idea what this conflict is; the Night Lords have done nothing so far and now they are suddenly fighting the Dark Angels. ADB fails to make the Night Lords interesting in this one - you know, the guy who made the Night Lords the poster child for interesting Chaos characters.
Score: 6.0/10
Overall Review: An interesting collection. Some are fine, others are exceptional.
Overall Score: 7.5/10 - Without “Liar’s Due”, there is no way this one would score this high. Two of these stories could be removed and it would have been much more interesting. There is a huge difference between the good and bad ones in this story.
Cover: Horus is beating an Imperial Fist, on the planet of “somewhere”. An odd choice as neither Horus or the Imperials Fists are represented in any of the short stories. Maybe its another Guilliman larp adventure that we did not get to read about?
Heresy Watch: The Night Lords and the Dark Angels are fighting now. The Ultramarines are having to deal with the aftermath of some vast destruction at Calth. The Rememberances are now gone. The Alpha Legion are out conquering worlds in the name of the Warmaster.
Legion Watch/Number of Book(s):
Dark Angels: 4
: 2
Emperor’s Children: 5
Iron Warriors: 4
White Scars: 2
Space Wolves: 4
Imperial Fists: 6
Night Lords: 3
Blood Angels: 1
Iron Hands: 3
: 2
World Eaters: 7
Ultramarines: 5
Death Guard: 3
Thousand Sons: 4
Sons of Horus: 6
Word Bearers: 7
Salamanders: 2
Raven Guard: 3
Alpha Legion: 4
The Emperor: 5
How do the Blood Angels still only have 1!?
Tropes Watch:
Are we the baddies?: 28 - “Forgotten Sons” - be loyal or we will destroy you; turn to Horus and we will destroy you. Its not much of a choice for the people of Bastion. “The Last Remembrancer” - the Imperium, in facing the threat of Chaos, will have to become full authoritarian dictatorship and Humanity will no longer fully trusts them. For the good of all, Voss has to die.
It's definitely not gay: 16 - Look I’m not saying that Dantioch loves Vastopol but he does refuse to leave him behind and wants to keep him alive long after he knows he will not live. Arcadese swears a blood oath for revenge for Heka'tan’s death - there is a lot of emotion there….
How not to parent 101: 21 - Magnus did not bother to even tell his sons about the destruction of Prospero. Pertarabo is an idiot who wastes one of his best leaders because he was wounded against the H’rud, who are time manipulating demi-gods. Barbaras fully gets his revenge on the besieging forces.
Erebus!!!: 15 - The man himself gets a mention in “Forgotten Sons” as an example of a good manipulator. Warsmith Krendl coming for Barbaras deserves at least an honorable mention. He is such a whiny little bitch who keeps putting his men in the grinder for no good purpose for a YEAR AND A DAY!
Does this remind you of anything?: 29 - The Ultramarines like playing Warhammer 40k. “Forgotten Sons” is basically “Lethal Weapon” in 40k. As previously stated, the Twilight Zone story “The Aliens are Due on Maple Street” is fully adapted for the “Liar’s Due.” Arvida’s final words “Knowledge is power” is very similar to the call of the Blood Ravens. “Savage Weapons” is essentially “my dad could beat up your dad” “yeah well my dad is absolutely insane”.

It was back in 1993 or so when I received a phone call from Kentucky. It was my good buddy, Steiner. “Bud!! Bud!!! You got to come up here right now!!! There’s a huge creature on my property!!! I’m scared shitless!!!” It was Steiner, and he was hysterical. He is always calling me when he gets a little Bigfoot activity on his property. He is a bit of a pussy, if you know what I mean.
I had to work at it, but I finally calmed him down. I told him to tell me exactly what happened and to do so both slowly and succinctly. Apparently, one of those bigfoot he thinks is haunting his homestead turned out to be real. Then son of a bitch came crashing through the woods at Steiner in the middle of the night while he was outside taking his dog to piss. Steiner managed to scoop up his mutt and run into his house ahead of the charging beast just in the nick of time.
Later that night Steiner was harassed by the monster. It repeatedly banged on the side of his trailer home and aggressively vocalized. Steiner was virtually catatonic. Then, not long before sunrise, he finally glanced out a window. That’s when he saw it. A huge black shadow of a hairy creature standing 10 feet tall, arms hanging down to its knees, conical head, no neck, and glowing red eyes. Steiner claims that it scared him so badly that he lost control of all bodily functions.
“Bud, I was so scared I pissed myself!”, Steiner told me. I said “Keep your bodily functions to yourself, asshole.” He begged and begged. Finally I said, “ok, ok. Let me grab some guns and gear and I will be there before nightfall.” Steiner started thanking me and telling me how much this meant to him as I was hanging up the phone. “What a putz”, I said.
It was 6:00 am. Steiner has just experienced this bullshit. I wondered whether it was real or if he was snorting Sudafed again. Then I glanced over at the young, hot Asian chick in my bed. I said “fuck Steiner”, then I fucked the Asian beauty once again. In fact, we rolled around in bed until around noon. Then she cleaned my house and left for work. I passed out and woke up around 4:00 pm. My cell phone was ringing, playing “Hammer Smashed Face” by Cannibal Corpse as the ringtone. I picked up my phone and looked at it. It was Steiner. So I silenced it and went back to sleep.
Now your old Buddy, Bud, ain’t gonna lie to you. Back in the day it was not unusual for him to get coked and liquored up then go on wild sex and coke binges for days on end. Since I was just crashing from one of these binges I slept for hours. Sometime around 5:00 am I woke up and got a bite to eat from the kitchen.
I made a sandwich for myself, then sat in my recliner to eat it while I watched the VHS video I recorded earlier of me and the Asian chick fucking. It was fucking SPECTACULAR! You never look as big as when you are coke-horny and fucking a chink! I was thinking about sending this one to Vivid as an audition tape. In fact, it was almost too good! It got me aroused all over again and I had to rub one out to my own video! I am a fucking hardcore sexual athlete!
Then something hit me. Something was missing. I knew what needed to be done. That video needed MORE Asian bitches! Oh, and they all needed to be crying! I figured that with me and my rod, and then 3 Asian bitches, I was sure to get signed to a porn contract out in L.A.!! I snatched up my phone so I could call my date from last night, sweet little Bang-Mee, and get her to round up a couple more sluts from the Sushi joint where she works so we could shoot a MFFF 4-way sexual bonanza!
But when I looked at my phone I could see that I had received 97 phone calls, 42 voice mailed, 103 texts, and 78 emails, ALL since the last time I checked. My phone was BLOWN UP! They were all from the same person too: Steiner. “Oh shit!”, I thought, “I totally forgot about that sumbitch!”
So, a couple hours laters I had Bang-Mee at my home, along with her slutty friends Bend-Mee and Bang-Ho. We shot hardcore fuck sessions for hours. At one point all 4 of us were sacked out together on my bed resting, exhausted, battered and bruised. I vaguely remembered hearing my phone’s ringtone. Then one of the whores answered the phone.
“Ha-Row? Ha-Row?” The dumb slut was trying to answer my fucking phone but she barely spoke a word of English. I came to, yanked my phone from her paw, and then slapped the shit out of her. “HELLO?!?”, I barked into the phone. It was Steiner. “Bud?!? Where are you?!? You promised you were coming. Where are you?!?”, he asked.
I said, “Look dude, I got held up by some Asian pussy, you know what I am saying?” There was a pause, following by an impatient sounding Steiner asking “Bud, you’re doing coke again, aren’t you?” I immediately felt ashamed.
You see, the last time I got together with old man Steiner I went off on a coke-fueled binge while we were in western North Carolina hunting the Cherokee Devil. We stumbled upon a campsite where a couple sweet young things were on an overnighter. I ended up staying with them and fucking them both all night. Steiner got mad and wandered off. The next morning when I woke up the two campers were dead and I had no memory of what happened. I panicked, grabbed my rifle, and took off running through the woods naked and looking for Steiner.
I finally ran into old Steiner about a mile from the campsite. Old man Steiner was able to calm me down and convince me that the two sluts and their campsite had to be set on fire and burned to destroy the evidence, especially the DNA evidence I most assuredly left all over and inside those two whores.
I could not bring myself to return. I was catching a mighty bad case of the fear. Like a man and a true friend, Steiner said he would take care of it. So he set off toward the camp to take care of the problem, and I sat down at the base of a big ass pine tree to await his return, naked and clutching my AR-10.
But Steiner never returned. The day started to grow late. I had calmed down and started to get hungry. I started to worry about Steiner. I mean, either he ran into problems or he just left me out here as payback for ditching him last night to fuck whores. The more I thought about, the more convinced I became that the sneaky rat-bastard, Steiner, just walked out of the woods and left me. He was punishing me. He was getting even, which was incredibly petty given that my little romp at the campsite turned into a fucking crime scene. Could Steiner REALLY be this fucked up and shallow? YEP!
I decided I was going to get the fuck out of there, find Steiner, and put my foot up in his ass. I stormed off. But then I started thinking about the dead bitches and the fact they are covered in my DNA. “Steiner was right”, I thought to myself, “I need to destroy the evidence”. So I headed to the camp first to take care of that. Afterward I would go beat the shit out of Steiner.
So, I headed toward the campsite. The bitches had some cooking oil. I figured I would just throw some oil on them and their shit in their tent, cover them with as much flammable shit as I could find, then set it all on fire. Hopefully the ground and trees would all catch too. I am like Peter North on Steroids. I blast ropes all over the fucking place. There was probably dried jizz from me in the fucking trees.
As I approached the campsite I began sensing that something was wrong. I heard strange noises, muffled sounds, and a low whimpering noise. I immediately went on high alert. I also recalled that these woods are the lair of the feared Cherokee Devil, an ominous and deadly Sasquatch that has struck fear in the Cherokee Nation for generations. I went into tactical mode seemlessly, hit the ground, and belly crawled the rest of the way.
It was already getting dark when I reached the edge of the campsite. As I approached the odd sounds grew louder and clearer. I raised my rifle and pointed it in the direction of the camp. I could see movement, but I could not make out anything. I engaged the night vision scope I have mounted on my rifle. I could now see, but the view was still rather obscured. I slowly rose up off the forest floor. Then I saw it. It was absolutely fucking horrible. I mean, I was already more than half-way at full erection because I thought I was about to engage an enemy and get to shoot someone. But when I saw THIS, both my heart and my wang dropped!
There was old Steiner, bent face down over a log. His pants were around his ankles. There behind Steiner and on its knees was a HUGE Sasquatch, pounding his cock into Steiner’s ass. It was vicious too. That Bigfoot’s dick was as big around as a fucking gallon milk jug. Then, apparently sensing my presence, the creature turned its upper body and faced toward my position, staring right at me. It’s eyes were red and glowing with hate. It was the Cherokee Devil! The beast of a million nightmares was looking right at me!
I opened fire, immediately dumping my 20 rd mag into the beast. I then dropped my rifle, charged into camp, and retrieved my .44 magnum from my backpack which I stupidly left behind when I evacuated the camp earlier. The beast was just getting to its feet, not 10 feet from me, I took aim at the red eyes and started blasting. That big fucker let out the most horrible, sobering cry of pain I have ever heard in my life. Clearly I had hit it and caused major damage. It then instantly turned and crashed off into the woods. But I was in no condition to pursue, so I let it go. But I will note that since that night there have been no more sightings reported from that area of a beast with glowing red eyes. I never saw the Cherokee Devil again after that.
I got dressed, walked over and kicked Steiner, then said “Get the fuck up, bitch. We got work to do. Stop afterglowing and be a man.” He struggled to his feet. I have to say, I was actually glad that I found Steiner out here being raped by the Cherokee Devil. It means he did not run out on me like some chicken-shit, rat-bastard. Instead, he had, in fact, came to the camp to do the job he set out to do - to do old Bud a solid. A wide smile came to my face. I looked over at Steiner, who was rubbing his butthole, and asked “Did you enjoy that monkey cock up your ass, faggot?” He shot a disgust look my way and I laughed.
We burned up the campsite and surrounding woods pretty fucking good. Certainly, it was good enough to get rid of all my DNA. Old Steiner and I hiked out of there. I made gay jokes about him the entire way, and he just took it, like a bitch!
So I am a little sensitive about my personal shortcomings around Steiner. If not for my then affinity for coke, booze, and pussy, poor old Steiner would not have been raped by the Cherokee Devil. Steiner now knew, just from our brief telephone interaction, that I was lit up again. I took a deep breath, sighed, and said to Steiner “It does not matter, dude. I am on my way up there now.” Steiner immediately perked up. “REALLY?!? THAT’s AWESOME, BUD!”, Steiner was about to piss himself like a dog when his master returns home from work.
I hung up. I did not really want to blow off my porn film with the Asian sluts. It was a great opportunity and I wanted to pick up where I left off. So while they were passed out I hog-tied the three of them, wrapped duct tape around their eyes, and locked them in my closet. They are so coked up and such depraved cum-sluts that this will just make them hornier for when I get home.
I grabbed some gear and my guns, then took off for old Kentucky. As I neared the Tennessee Border I decided to listen to the voice mails Steiner left for me why I was gluing the snitch. Most of them were pretty pathetic, like a little kid waiting on his best friend. But a couple of them were whacked out crazy. One, for example, had Steiner’s pathetic message interrupted by what sounded like a demonic lion’s roar, followed by Steiner screaming like a fucking woman. Another one was Steiner begging for his life while some loud and aggressive clawing sounds were in the background.
I thought to myself, “Shit, maybe the ugly fuck-face actually DOES have an aggressive Sasquatch up there.” I sure would hate to hear about Steiner getting raped by a Bigfoot again, especially when I could be there to stop it.
The fact is, that Sasquatch could at any time catch, kill, and eat poor Steiner. It could also catch him and rape him anytime it wanted to. So, why all the torment? Only one thing made sense to me: this is the Sasquatch Mating Ritual.
Just as I was reaching for my phone to call Steiner it rang. I had assigned “Creep” by Radiohead as the ringtone for Steiner. I could tell by Thom Yorke’s melon collie tones emanating from my phone that Steiner was on the line.
“BUD!!!! HE’S BACK!!!!! HE’S HERE!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!”, screamed Steiner. I yelled at him to lower his voice and calm the fuck down. I explained to him that all the creature wants to do is impregnate him. I said, “Look, worst case scenario, just bend over and give up a bit of that man-pussy. Then it will leave you alone.”
My advice did nothing to calm Steiner. I started hearing pounding on the walls in the background. Clearly the beast was there and it was trying to get in Steiner’s house. I told him I was still two hours away and that he was going to have to hold off the Bigfoot until I get there.
Steiner asked me how to hold off the Sasquatch. I told Steiner to stick a finger up it’s ass while he is blowing the monster. Then I laughed out loud, satisfied with the humorous nature of my joke. However, Steiner was not amused.
Finally I asked, “Well shit, Steiner, do you still have that five-seven pistol?” He said he does. I told him to let the Sasquatch in, aim it at the monster’s sperm-engorged balls, and blast them to shreds. At least that way it will not be in the mood to fuck him. A pause ensued on our phone call. I could tell that Steiner was considering it.
“Will do!”, exclaimed Steiner. I commended him. I said, “Ok, dude, you blow his balls off. He will run off holding their bloody pulp between his hands, screaming like a bitch. By the time it gets composed and all worked up in a rage to return and kill you, I will be there.” Steiner agreed. I hung up and increased my speed from 100 mph to 120 mph.
Well, the plan fell apart immediately. That old Bigfoot busted straight through the door on its own, knocked the pistol out of Steiner’s hand, threw him face down on the floor and then pumped about 10 gallons of gorilla jizz up his ass. When I got there Steiner was still unconscious and Sasquatch jizz was coming out of his mouth. The monster was long gone. Honestly, it looked like Steiner had rabies with all that foam dripping out of his mouth. That squatch must have shot so much monkey love up into Steiner that it backed up into his esophagus and then out his mouth. He was saturated in it!
After about 15 minutes I was able to stop laughing and compose myself. Steiner was crying about wanting to go to the hospital. I called him a “pussy” and told him to lie face down on the floor. I was going to sew him up. Steiner tried to protest. I kicked him in his sore ass, told him to shut up and get on the floor like I told him to. He obeyed.
I managed to scavenge up an old rusty sewing needle from Steiner’s junk drawer there in his little ramshackle abode. His kitchen was merely a card table with a hot plate sitting on it. Pathetic, I know. Then I found some 20 lb test fishing line. Then I went to work.
Old Steiny’s hiney was torn wide open like a sack of KFC chicken-n-biscuits at a negro titty bar. I threaded that fishing line through the needle eye. Then I looked for some anesthetic. The simplest thing would be booze. I asked Steiner what kind of booze his sorry ass kept. “Well, I got a six-pack of Pabst beer in the ice box”, Steiner said. I looked around. It turned out that his refrigerator was an Igloo cooler sitting on the floor near his “kitchen”.
“Fuck that pussy shit”, I said. I pulled out my flask of Jack Daniels, took a good, deep slug, swished it around in my mouth to enjoy the sweet goodness of old JD’s product, then spit it on Steiner’s ass. I told Steiner he needed to bite down on a spoon while I stitched him up. Time was becoming an issue, as the bleeding was profuse and his colon was about to fall out.
Unfortunately, that white trash bastard didn’t have any silverware. So I gave him a dirty plastic spoon covered in dog hair I found behind his sink. Then a thought hit me. I asked, “Hey, Steiner... where the hell is your dog anyway?!?” Old Steiner started whimpering, then balled his eyes out. Then, through all the tears he said “The Bigfoot ate him!”
Well, that didn’t sit too well with me. It’s one thing to get a little piece of ass from a neighbor when you are feeling frisky. But killing a man’s dog is never acceptable. Ever! I told Steiner that we would kill that bastard Sasquatch just as soon as I get him stitched up. Still whimpering, Steiner said “H-h-h-hurry...”
I stitched up that sumbitch with fishing line then sat him down on his skeevy futon. “Ok, let’s get locked and loaded and go kill that monster!”, I said. But old Steiner was having none of it. He was still bitching about his ass hurting. I looked at him a moment then said “You fat faggot! Are you just going to let that Bigfoot get away with killing your fucking DOG?!?!??” Shit, man! I know bitches with bigger balls than you got!” But old Steiner just closed his eyes and moaned.
It was time for an agonizing reappraisal of the entire situation. Steiner was a bowl of Jello. He was not good for shit. So I decided I would go it alone. I grabbed old man Steiner’s cheap piss beer and handed it to him. I then patted his left shoulder and said “Ok, old man. You have been brave enough for one night. Drink a cold one or two and relax while I go out there and get that damned old monster for you.” Steiner looked up at me and smiled the best he could. Then I turned and walked through the door.
Before heading out I rigged Steiner’s front porch with some C-4 explosives I had laying around in my truck, and then jiggered together a device for remote detonation. I used an old cell phone for the detonator. When I hit “call” it will detonate the C-4. What I did not tell Steiner is that the Sasquatch would be back. They always drown a bitch Sasquatch with jizz in order to ensure procreation and, thus, perpetuation of their infernal race. Left alone, that damn monster would come back to rape Steiner 5-6 more times, whether he was dead or alive.
My plan was simple. I set up a blind just off from Steiner’s shitty little shack. While I was armed to the teeth, my plan was to let the beast walk up onto the porch when it returned to fuck Steiner, then blast it all to hell with the explosives.
I made up a little blind of bushes and trash, the latter of which was strewn about all over Steiner’s yard. “What a fucking sloppy pig...” I thought to myself. But, whatever. I would kill fat-boy’s Bigfoot, then haul ass out of this dump with the corpse. I have a connection I sell my Sasquatch corpses to. He harvests the glands and uses them for all sorts of weird shit. But that’s none of my business. I am only interested in his cash, which he seems to have in excess.
The night was quiet. In fact, it was too quiet. All I could hear was Steiner moaning and crying in his shack. My God, he is a big fucking baby! Then out of nowhere I heard footsteps!! “BOOM..BOOM..BOOM...BOOM!!” They were loud and they shook the ground. It was definitely the monster, and it was returning for Round 2 with Steiner.
The old man must have heard the footsteps too, because his weeping became louder and more agitated. It crossed my mind to walk straight into Steiner’s hut and just put him out of his misery altogether. But it would be impossible with this hefty beast approaching. I kept my eyes fixed upon the tree line as the steps grew closer.
Suddenly the monster appeared! It stepped out of the tree line and continued its march toward Steiner’s place. That son of a whore was at least 10’ tall. It was built like a brick shithouse, at least 5 ft across the shoulders. It’s fucking knuckles nearly dragged the ground. It was covered in hair and was absolutely ghastly! Then a thought hit me. Maybe this is not even a fucking Bigfoot. Maybe it’s a goddamn troll or something? One thing was for sure, it was primed for action. It had an erection about 4 foot long and as thick as a milk can! That sumbitch was hung!
I didn’t care what the fucker was. I was going to kill it. It walked straight to the trailer, right past me to the porch, then up onto the porch. Steiner’s shoddy craftsmanship was exposed as the porch shifted and creaked under the beast’s wake. I could not contain myself. This was it!
As I hit the remote switch to set off the C-4, I jumped up out of my blind as I excitedly yelled “DIE N!GGER!!!!!!!! But the explosion never happened. I pressed the button on my cell phone trigger again. Nothing. “Motherfucker”, I mumbled under my breath. Of course, the monster saw and heard me. It was now standing on Steiner’s porch, looking at me, growling at me. and baring it’s teeth. “Shit”, I said. I did not have the right fucking phone!!!!! I must have dropped my trigger phone!!!
I whipped up my AR-10 and immediately dumped a mag center-mass. The beast fell backwards into the front door as a result of the powerful blasts. The door flew open, giving Steiner a clear view of the beast. He went bat-shit crazy! He was screaming like a woman and flapping his arms around like a fucking retard.
As the beast lay stunned by my initial assault, I whipped out the .480 Ruger revolver from its shoulder rig, walked right up to that big motherfucker, and “BOOM!!!!” I put an entry wound in the front of that fucker’s head the size of a golf ball, and an exit wound the size of a grapefruit! I smoked that fucker!! About that time old Steiner wanders out into the porch to look. “Man, Bud! You killed it!” I said, “Fuck yeah, I did.”
Steiner and I got the corpse of that big bitch loaded into the back of my truck. He said he wanted something to remember this by, so I cut off the Sasquatch’s dick and gave it to Steiner. He hinted around about wanting a cut from my sale of the beast. But after I bitch slapped him he settled down.
“Well, old man, I guess I will be seeing ya!”, I said. He replied, “Hey, Bud, thanks for helping me out, you know. You are welcome back here anytime.” Then he did the damnedest thing: Steiner opened up his arms like he wanted to hug me, then proceeded to walk toward me!
I punched that silly Teutonic twit in his fucking throat, then left him wallowing around on the ground and gasping for breath as I drove off. What a fucking faggot!!
Well, that’s about it for this story. Though, it is not entirely the end. Ya see, I stopped in Chattanooga on the way home to have a beer and a burger at a titty bar. Well, one thing led to another and I found myself in a hotel room in Nashville coked to the gills and banging two whores. As we were taking a break from fucking I got a call on my cell phone.
When I saw that the call was from Steiner I rolled my eyes and sighed. “JEEEEEEEEESUS FUCKING CHRIST”, I said. One of the bimbos asked what the problem was. I told her to shut up and then I answered the phone. “What the fuck do you want now, you degenerate faggot?!?”, I asked.
But Steiner was all sweet. “Hey, Bud, look, I found your extra cell phone here in my yard. You must have dropped it when you were up here. Do you want me to mail it to you???” I said, “Hey buddy, do me a favor. Press the button marked “call”. That will let me know if it is mine or not.” Steiner said “okie dokie!”.
I heard a loud, though brief “BOOM!!”, then the phone went dead. “Yep”, I thought to myself, “that’s my phone.”

Like, i was reading a very bloody story on AO3 which was tagged as "torture porn" It looked a lot like the stories I write( and read) So am I writing porn? Do the whumpiflies count as getting aroused?

“Well, sir, my recovery was long and painful. I could not shit right fer weeks. Ever time I had to move my bowels I wuz struck by an extreme bout with pain and sufferin. It wuz a’like I wuz being savaged all over agin. I knew I could never forgive that beast!”
“As soon as I could git around agin I decided to implement Plan A. I jest happent to have me sum land mines that I smuggled home after Nam. What I dun did was set me up some obstructions around the old homestead in order to funnel that critter down certain paths if it approached my cabin. Then I set out my land mines along sed paths. That-a-way when that critter came fer me agin it would git it’s balls blown off and then I would jump it and take him out!”
“Once I set up the explosives I waited fer nite to fell. Then I went to my old wood pile, pulled off my trousers, and bent over the woodpile like I wuz lookin to be banged up the old wazoo. Then I called out, ‘Here I is!! Cum gets me, you old Bigfoot!’ Of course, I wuz armed to the teeth, including my trusty old Barrett .50 BMG shootin iron.”
“Hours wint by, they did. I reckon it wuz about midnight when I first became burdened with doubt concerning my tactic. Suddenly, I heard a rustlin coming up my way, from up the trail! I thought, ‘Oh shit! Here he comes!’ Then I started saying real loud like, ‘Here I is, Mr. Bigfoot. Come git you sum of this here man-pussy!’ The noise continued. It wuz definitely a bipedal creature and it wuz a’ comin’ this here a’ way!”
“Then a human voice called out. ‘ROY!! ROY!! Don’t shoot, it’s me, Drew!!’ I thought to myself, ‘Drew?!? Oh Shit! That’s old Wild Drew from Appaloo!!’ He wuz a shine buyer! I yelled out ‘DREW!! KEEP YER ASS STILL!!! THE TRAIL IS ...’ ...... KA-BOOM!!!!! The sumbitch went and stepped on a land mine!”
“So I ran down the trail a bit with my old lantern to find Old Drew blown to pieces. His legs were dun blown clean off! His bloody torso wuz a’layin on its back. Drew wuz barely conscious and had blood comin outa his mouth.”
“I looked down at what wuz left of Old Drew and sed ‘You stupid motherfucker! You fucked upon my booby trap!! What the hell is you doin up here this time of nite?!?’ He sed ‘Buying shine. You told me to be here at midnight for a buy.’ I thought to myself, ‘Oh shit. I fergot about that!’ Then I sed, ‘You still went and fucked up my booby trap, asshole!’”
“I then unholstered my Smith .460 revolver, looked down at Old Drew, and sed ‘Well, boy, I guess I is gonna have to put ya outa yer misery.’ Drew protested, saying he jest needed sum medical attention and he would survive. But I knew better. There wuz no way this sumbitch wuz gonna survive tonight. BLAM!!! That old slug from that powerful .460 exploded Old Drew’s head like a water balloon!”
“I had to spend the rest of the night cleaning up this mess and gettin rid of the forensics and sech. That dumbass Drew fucked up my hunt and I got more and more pissed and I cleaned up his shit. But I finally got it done a little a’fer sunrise. So I decided to call it a night and hit the hay.”
“After the utter fiasco of Plan A, I decided to activate Plan B. I rigged me up a gun turret on the roof of my cabin that would swivel 360 degrees. I had me an old .50 cal machine gun in my shed that I traded sum meth fer. That is a heavy motherfucker too! I had to wrestle that bitch up the ladder and onto the roof by myself. I bolted it down and decided to try her out. Fortunately, I had me a stockpile of ammo fer this here hawg leg.”
“I cut loose with a volley of machine gun fire. TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!!! The sound wuz music to my old ears! It wuz literally cuttin’ the tops outa trees. Beautiful!! With the gun ready I climbed down from the roof and set up the bait.”
“Earlier in the day I went off into town to round up a couple homosexuals. I went down to our local queer bar, ‘The Fudge Tunnel’, and set a trap. Basically I jest stuck my head into the door and yelled ‘free blowjobs in the back of my truck!’ Those fags, they came a’runnin. The first one came out the door, and ‘BAM!’, I whacked that feller in the head with an axe handle. Then ‘WHAM!!’, I hit another! Then ‘WHUP!!’, and another one was down, then another, and another.”
“I only needed a couple of them thar queer-o-fagulas, so I Left all but 2 a’lyin’ thar on the ground. I jest picked out two of the ones that still appeared to be alive, then hauled them to my truck and throwed ‘em Into the back. Then off I went, headed back up to Sasquatch Hollar.”
“I had them thar 2 queers tied up in the back of my truck with their mouths duct taped. I have me an old dog pen next to my house, ya see, that I ain’t been using fer a good spell. I hauled them faggots outa my truck and threw ‘em Into the pen then pad locked it. Through the fence I cut ‘em free.”
“I looked at the 2 homos in the pen and sed, ‘Ok, now fuck.’ “
“Ya see, my plan wuz to create a gay sex scene at my old cabin to draw in that pervert Bigfoot, Then I would cut it down with my machine gun atop my roof.”
“Them thar fags were not at all agreeable with my request. They wuz riled up real good, they were. They wuz crying, and begging. Then they jest started threatenin old Roy, saying they wuz gonna sue me and get me locked up. Clearly, they wuz in no mood to fuck each other.”
“Well, son, yer old uncle Roy bowed his head and sighed. It wuz time fer an agonizing reappraisal of the situation. I then drew my sidearm, an FN Tac chambered fer .45 ACP. BAM!!! BAM!!!! They both dropped like sacks of taters. ‘Sumbitches...’, I thought.”
“Then I had me an idea. What if’n I jest kind of prop up these two homo corpses and make it look like they are buttfucking each other? ‘Hell, why not?’ I thought. So I bent one over a 5 gallon bucket, ass up, then I positioned the other one as the “top”. I secured them both with duct tape. Hell, It looked right to me!”
“As it wuz gettin dark I found me sum gay-faggot porn on one of the homo’s iPhones, so I put it in the dog pen with the butt-fucking corpses so the scene would be realistic. Then I took my position on the gun turret. I knew it may be a long night, so I smoked me sum sweeeeeeet meth I recent made. In fact, since I been holed up fer so long recovering from the Bigfoot rape, I had me a lot of time to cook up sum good meth. I figured I had me about $10.25 million gross in inventory, it would have been more, but I wuz bored outa my mind while convalescing.”
“Well sir, I did not have to wait long tonight to get sum action. It wuz jest half past dark, I reckon, when a big old rustling sound came from the trail leading to my cabin. But sumthang wuz not quite right. It wuz real loud like. Plus, it sounded like there wuz a LOT of ‘em! Maybe there wuz a whole goddamn clan of them horny fuckers coming after me. ‘KA-CLANK!’ I chambered a round in my gun and got ready.”
“Then there came a chanting. It went sumthang like ‘Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Homophobic Roy Must Go!’ Then I saw the lights. I had to study on this fer a moment. What in tarnation wuz goin on here? Then I got it. The lisping chant confirmed this as a gay protest march! But why wuz they up here in old Sasquatch Hollar? I let them approach.”
“The best I could tell, there wuz about 30 of them fag-o-sexuals. They had no idea how much danger they wuz in, what with that old rapist Bigfoot lurking around here. I bowed my head and sighed. ‘What dumb motherfuckers’, I thought. ‘They will thank me when they aren’t violently fist-fucked by that big old gorilla out here’, I said to myself.”
“TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT!!!!!!”
“The barking of that old .50 cal machine gun is a thing to behold! It chewed up them thar protesters like they wuz soda crackers. From the light of the fires in the woods started from intermittent tracer fire mixed in with the regular cartridges, I could see nuthin but shredded body parts and red splatter. ‘Sweet Bleedin Jesus!! How the fuck am I gonna clean up ALL THIS?!?’, I thought.”
“I decided to call it a night cuz there ain’t no critter comin round these parts after all that machine gun fire. I needed to get rid of all that biological evidence. So I went down to my shed and got my old flame thrower. I fueled up the tanks, strapped it on my back, and then went to werk.”
“I burnt up nearly all them woods that night. By morning it wuz a charred, smoking, burned out mess. I fixed me sum breakfast then had a seat on my front porch to sip some corn liquor. It wuz time fer Plan C. I decided I would catch me a lil nap on my porch first, in my old rockin chair I hand-made from Sasquatch bones. Then I would git up and implement Plan C.”
“Now, son, I musta been real tired cuz I did not even hear Sheriff walk up on me while I wuz napping on my porch. That is one of the detriments of gettin old. Twenty year ago I could hear two snails a’fuckin two ridges over. But now, time are a‘ changing,”
“I awoke with a start. Sheriff wuz saying my name, ‘Roy! Roy!! Get yer ass up!!’, he demanded. Quicker than a northeastern Democrat fucking a voter, I jumped up and punched old Sheriff square in the nose. He fell like a stone, blood spurting outa his nose everwhar.”
“Old Sheriff started right in a’whinin, ‘Now Roy, why did go and do a fool thing like THAT?!?’ I replied, ‘Cuz you snuck up on me, on my own damn property, shit head. Next question!’ Old Sheriff stood up, shaking his head and holding his bloody nose. He wuz a fat old disgusting sumbitch. I used to fuck his old lady before she got fat.”
“Sheriff continued, ‘Now Roy, we got us a serious problem here. You know that faggot bar down on Highway 53? Somebody went down there and beat the shit out of 7 of those homos. 5 of them are deader than a doornail. 2 of them are missing. Then, last night a bunch of them, around 30 of them, went off after the culprit. Word on the street is that they they think YOU are the culprit, Roy.’ The Sheriff looked troubled.”
“Old Sheriff then looked up at me, right in the eye, and said, ‘Tell me you did not go down there to that queer bar and kill a bunch of them fags, Roy.’ I did as he asked. I looked Old Sheriff right in his eyes and sed, ‘Sheriff, I did not go down thar to that faggot bar and kill those cocksuckers. You know me, I ain’t no fucking bigot.’”
“A look of relief came over Sheriff’s face as he started smilin. He sed, ‘I knew you wouldn’t do such a thing, Roy. I am just doing my job. By the way, did you see any of that group that went off looking for you?’ I sed, ‘Sure did. Them fuckers showed up here after dark, all hootin’ and hollaring. I cut ‘em all down with that thar machine gun mounted up thar on my roof’, I sed, pointing to my roof. ‘They’s all deader than hell’, I said.”
“Old Sheriff’s smile disappeared. He sed ‘Roy, why did you DO THAT?!?!? There’s talk in town about calling in the FBI to Investigate this as a hate crime.’ I waived my hand dismissively. ‘Fuck ‘em, I sed. They wuz all wild and out fer blood. I wuz jest defending myself.’ Sheriff seemed to like this, leaning forward and asking ‘really?’ I looked at the tub of lard and sed, ‘That’s what I sed, ain’t it?!?’, then I bitch-slapped Sheriff so hard he fell backward and onto his fat ass.”
“I then turned my back to Sheriff as I told him to get the fuck off my property. The old Sheriff stumbled to his feet, stammering ‘Ok, Roy, Ok. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of everything.’ I flipped him my middle finger as I heard him scurry off. Then something unexpected happened.”
“BAM!!!!! The explosion was crisp and loud. That dumb sumbitch Sheriff stepped on one of my buried land mines from the other night. I lowered my face into both of my hands. ‘That stupid motherfucker ...’, I thought to myself.”
“I found old Sheriff blasted to pieces. It looked like he had grown a little soul patch below his bottom lip. On closer inspection it wuz jest a piece of his hairy ball-sack that wuz blown off him and landed on his chin. Struggling to speak, old Sheriff looked up at me and sed ‘Roy...’. He did not get another word out before BLAMMMM!!!!!!! The sound of my Ruger .480 echoed through the valley! ‘What an asshole’, I sed, referring to old Sheriff.”
“Then, things rapidly took a turn fer the worst. I turned to go back to my cabin to get the flame thrower when I see that big old, 17’ tall rapist Bigfoot... STANDING NOT 20 FEET FROM ME!! That big sumbitch somehow managed to sneak up behind me without a sound, and it stood between me an my cabin. What’s worse is that it had a huge, red hard-on that must have been at good 20” long, throbbing and pulsating. IT WUZ POINTING RIGHT AT ME!”
“That’s when that big old critter did something really fucked up. It started grinning at me. Then, it raised its arm and hand and pointed at me, as if to say, ‘I’m gonna fuck you.’ A feeling of dread came over me. I knew my little old .480 wuz not gonna stop THIS beast. The thought crossed my mind about turning the gun on myself, but I opted agin this. I wuz jest gonna have ta take it like a man.”
“As the horny Sasquatch stood there I started taking off my overalls. Once I got nekkid I got down on my hands and knees, with my port of rear entry pointed at the beast. It jest watched me, clearly not expecting me to jest submit. Then a look of pure evil and meanness came over its face. I knew what this look meant: It was pissed. It wuz not gonna let me cheat it out of a brutal beating. It wuz gonna make up fer the lack of a fight by fucking me extra hard, and prolly to death.”
“Now what this critter did not know wuz that he wuz about to meet his match. I wuz always half-expecting this sumbitch to pop up at any awkward and unexpected moment when I was vulnerable. That is typical Bigfoot shit. They are dirty motherfuckers! Secondly, that fist-raping he put on me, along with the ensuing reparative surgeries, caused a major buildup of scar tissue in my rectum. I mean, it is bad. It is so bad that I could stick a burning road flare up my ass and I would not feel a damn thang.”
“So I had made me a contingency plan. I had me sum razor wire out in my shed. I cut me off about five feet of it, wadded it up, and put it up in my ass. I felt nothing, but I knew that the Bigfoot would feel sumthang!”
“So, with me nekkid and on my knees, ass in the air, that big old creepy beast came up from behind, aimed it’s massive cock, then shove it, HARD, up my ass. It immediately let out a blood curdling scream!”
“AASAAHHHHHHHHHJJJNJHHHH!!!! It roared!! The pained roar bounced from ridge to ridge, and down through the valley!”
“I turned around to look as the Bigfoot withdrew from me. His dick wuz so cut up that it looked like a slinky! Blood wuz everwhar. Flesh wuz hanging off the animal’s shredded cock. Then the poor bastard drops to its knees, cradling what is left of its Johnson in its hands.”
“As the motherfucker was mourning his loss, I retrieved my .480 revolver from my clothes on the ground. I walked up to the moaning Bigfoot as it looked down at the mess between his legs and pointed my pistol right at its head. I pulled the hammer back, ready to put a bullet in its head.”
“The Sasquatch, still on its knees, looked up at me with an expression that sed, ‘Why did you do THIS?!?!? You don’t mess with another man’s fuck-tackle!’ On sum level I agree with this sentiment. You do not go after a dude’s junk. But, this sumbitch raped me, so all bets are off.”
“That swarthy beast accepted its fate. It would rather die than live without his beefy schlong. It lowered its head and I pulled the trigger, causing its head to explode like a bottle of soda! ‘That sick sumbitch, I hope it burns in hell’, I thought.”
“That’s how I got my revenge on that bastard. That wuz the biggest Foot I ever did see, and the creepiest. I ate most of that sumbitch, and fed the rest to my hawgs.”

Recently went to court to file a personal protection order (PPO) against my brother (Entitled). It was just another case to the judge, one that perhaps she thought, was not worth going to trial. The judge strongly encouraged me to grant Entitled a PPO and for him to grant me one during the session, as it was deemed a childish squabble between two almost 30-year-old siblings. And the priority was the feelings of my mother and grandmother. When she asked me a few times if I "still insisted" on dragging on the case and involving other family members, asking me to "consider the elderly's feelings" and asking us to "grow up". I was not sure if the case was trivial to her, and I was directed towards a different decision. I am from Singapore and there seems to be a cultural of family violence to some extent. Most of my friends have gotten beaten up, and even the police officer who came during the dispute told me that her father also hit her as a child, so much that her back bled. (But then he comes in at night when she sleeps to put medication of her back). Another friend said her cousin in Malaysia got tied up to a tree wtf. Like ok ya, y'know mine isn't a big deal.
I wanted to share my perspective as physical domestic violence and sexism is deeply ingrained within my family's DNA. My mother and grandmother hit me with canes, hangars and sticks growing up, but that was typical asian discipline. I've also, on countless occasions, been strangled, bruised with 2cm thick wooden sticks, belts, and had knives held at my neck by my now deceased father until I was 23 years old. I remember crying as my father held me down, opened the cabinet and put a knife on my neck. I could feel the metal against my skin. This happened multiple times. The police were called in by my neighbours but it was often recorded as family disputes. My mother would ask my father to please stop, but nothing would happen and she would helplessly cry in her room, and this cycle would continue till my father died. I often cried loudly during such instances, or when the filth became too dirty when he touched me or hit me, and it is a disturbance I am ashamed about. I also developed anxiety and obsessional cleaniness related to PTSD, where things my father and brother touched were dirty, and I could not clean off the filth. This filth did not exist in reality but is a trauma-based response, as seeing his things touch mine made me feel anxious as though he was hitting me again. I recovered slowly after his passing and things became normal again. There were occasional mild squabbles between Entitled and I as a child and I was sometimes outcasted (one time it was because he kicked me in my privates with a ball when we were young, and I kicked him back but because it was his balls, he cried then I was outcasted because apparently the family name is very important. When it came to food, sometimes there would be two plates of rice, and one would have a chicken drum stick, but mine wouldn't. When I asked why I didn't have a drumstick, my grandmother would say it was for Entitled as he was a boy. There have been longstanding feelings of unfairness, and this was exacerbated as we got older.
The dispute regarding this court case stemmed from favouritism within the family. As a female, I had to pay for my school fees, whereas Entitled got his school fees paid for fully. When I got into one of the top universities in the UK, wishing to pursue my PhD, I requested for some assistance from my grandmother but she said that the amount was too much and that my bachelors (which I also got a scholarship for) was enough for me. I thankfully was given a full PhD scholarship from the university. Despite my full-time course requirements, I also sold dementia rehabilitative products I created and manufactured as it was very expensive to live in London. But because I chose to further my education overseas, the onus was on me to support myself and that was fair. What sparked this dispute was because my grandmother lent my brother 350k, and gave him my grandfather's Mercedes to use(worth 400k). It was a family car because now that grandpa had dementia, whoever drove them around could use it. But when I tried to use it or to bring grandparents out, I had to ask Entitled if he was going to use it, and I could not borrow the car. I know that I should have bought my own car, but I don't have enough money to buy a car now after spending most of my savings on my PhD (damn singapore currency so weak compared to the pound, y'all know I got no rich daddy or mummy, I got only abusive daddy so tyvm don't call me entitled ok thanks). Anyway so I said we should all use public transport as I felt that her giving him this much support was unfair and raised it several times, saying that if he wanted to start a business he should start small and grow it himself so that he also would like me learn the skills to manage. When I started my dementia rehab products company, I borrowed 5k from my mother, and used some savings from my scholarship to start it. I then returned it to her in two months and pretty much sustained myself like any adult would.
But on the other hand, my grandmother also on a previous occasion gave him 50k but he lost it all on an application development on his first start up, so she lent him another 300k. Regarding the family car I suggested a roster system so we could share it as originally intended, she decided to give it to him saying that he needed to show people that he could make it because apparently at that time his wife left him (because he apparently watched a live porn video, I mean who would leave a long term partner of more than 7 years over watching a porn video, there must be something more he didn't want to tell). She annulled their marriage or something because it wasn't too long after they signed the marriage certificate.
Anyway, I recognise that it is our grandfather's money which she now manages as he has dementia, and she can do whatever she wants with it (they own multiple properties, as they started a medium sized bus company). She also gifted my mother 1 million dollars, and lent a distant uncle a few hundred thousand for a business. Because of the dispute, we were not on talking terms, because I felt that my future was not important to her as compare to entitled. People tell me not to compare, but it's like right smack in my face. Like hello, you don't deserve to further your education, but I will molly coddle him.
She often complained that the dogs poop in the backyard made it smelly despite it being picked up quickly. I bought chemicals and was cleaning the yard and drain with the helpers, before I got locked out by my mother (who was afraid the dogs would eat the chemicals) before she went to the second floor. I later found out that we were locked out, and only my grandmother and brother were there, I tried to open the door forcefully as my mother was not responding to my calls, and that was when the quarrelling and dispute started. As no one opened the door, and we were trapped outside, I then tried to pull the door open, and my grandma came to open the door angrily saying that it would spoil the door, and that she wasn't afraid to hit me. I was angry and shouted at her, saying that I don't care if she hit me (for context in asian culture it is damn rude because filial piety is apparently everything), and that I spent money to buy chemicals and was using my time to deep clean the back yard and I wanted my money back. My mother then came, and then said she would give me my money back (I also shouted and I know that wasn't nice). It wasn't a lot of money for the chemicals but I was angry and frustrated, because I was still in the midst of writing up my thesis, to defend it. And I had not received stipend for 1 year while I was going through the process (Covid made it difficult to run studies so that extended my timeline which the scholarship did not cover), so money was precious to me as I was relying on my savings to tide over this period before I could finish up with my studies, get a job and move out. I was then walking to my room when Entitled kept staring aggressively at me. I asked him what he was staring at, I had nothing to do with him. He shouted and said want to fight then hit him first. I said I wasn't so dumb to hit him first and he kept taunting me and called me crazy asking me to hit him first, smiling and waving his hands provocatively to hit him. I was at this point angry as my grandma came to serve him more vegetables on his plate and she smiled while putting vegetables on his plate whilst we were quarrelling. I felt hurt and angry and pushed his plate to the ground in frustration. Then he lunged towards me and pushed me on the wall, with one hand on my neck and one hand on my breast. I struggled and flailed my arms to try to get him off me, but because I couldn’t reach as his hands were longer than mine, I could only grab onto his shirt as he humiliated me. I kept shouting my breast!!! MY BREAST! HE GRAB MY BREAST! And then he threatened to punch me several times, clenching his fist and aiming at my face threatening me. I just kept crying and shouting and trying to get him to let me go, but he just kept holding me there against the wall. No matter how I pulled at his shirt, he didn’t even flinch. He then threw me approximately three meters away from the wall to the kitchen sink area. I was in shock and I kept crying and shouting. He then called the police, and called me crazy and started to film me crying, saying it was evidence. I cried to my mum and told her to see him filming me, and she told him to stop filming. He also called me ugly when I cried saying he grabbed my breast. He said “grab already also don’t feel good”. I had bruises and small cuts from the incident, but the anxiety has caused me to feel stress very frequently.
When the police (2 officers and then their investigative officer) came, they spoke to my grandma, mother, helper and him. And they told me I could file for a PPO and file a case against him for sexual crime. At that time, I told them I didn’t want to go to court, and I thought filing for the PPO was not as severe. The police officer told me just to scan the QR code and to read the requirements when I felt better, and encouraged me to not be afraid and to have a look. But because I didn’t want to pursue it as a sexual crime, they didn’t take the fingerprints. My mother initially told the police the truth of what she saw, although my grandma refused to tell the police what happened. After they called for their investigative officer or their boss (idk just someone higher up) to come to our house as it was a potential sexual assault case, I heard the police officer tell his boss that her statement kept changing and that is a scar I doubt I will be able to heal from.
After the incident, I spent 3 days in bed and didn’t leave my room. My chest area felt dirty and when I showered it caused anxiety to touch the area. I felt very hopeless, humiliated and disgusted with my body. Feeling sick to my stomach, I didn’t eat for two days. I then left for my pre-planned school course overseas, which gave me some time away from the family. During the course, I often woke up screaming, waking my course mate up in the middle of the night as I relived the moments. But the time away from them gave me some strength and time to think, talking to family and friends, before I filed for the PPO 3 weeks after the incident.
I still have flashbacks of him grabbing my breast, his face comes to mind, which makes my heart beat very quickly and get tensed up. I also have nightmares of the incident and I wake up with my whole body and clothes drenched in sweat. I also stay in my room most of the time to avoid any chance of meeting him again as he comes frequently to spend time with our grandparents and get his laundry done by the helper. One one occasion, I saw my singlet put next to his, this caused me to re live the incident and the feelings, and I cried and panicked, quickly asking the family helper to separate the clothes and to throw my singlet away.
Pushing the plate and shouting was not a healthy reaction (as seeing my grandmother smile and side him, serving him vegetables as he provoked me was extremely hurtful) and I have been learning and working with the state court counsellor on managing such instances and distancing myself. She suggested disengaging from the family, as now extended family members start to express passive aggression towards my pet and me. I think this might be because I disrupted the family harmony for my own needs and cause tension because I didn't want to speak to my grandmother. I am still trying to come to terms with what I think is betrayal to me, as my grandmother saw everything, she admitted it to me, seeing him grab my breast and my neck and throwing me, she also admitted it to my auntie when she broke down and cried. But she refused to give me the statement when I asked if she could speak about what she saw. I later found out during the court session, before the trial started that Entitled said grandma gave him her statement. I don't know what was in the statement but if he wanted to user her statement as well as her as his witness, I don't think it would be detrimental to his case.
The family value system has pushed us all to our limits. Filing this PPO was my last shred of dignity, having my breast grabbed, with Entitled denying it. My grandmother said that it was of course that he had to do that to push me away as I pushed the plate on the floor. (Uh hello, I am 151cm, and with the distance from the table, I had to literally bend to push the plate down where I was almost at his level, and he had to walk a good 2 meters around the table to reach me and hold me against the wall). In my mother's statement that was supposedly for both of us, even the words used were that "I aggressively pushed the plate on to the floor" and "he had to hold me against the wall". (Yes I did push the plate angrily, but he also aggressively violated my body). My mother also asked me to consider if maybe he was trying to protect me from the glass. And that just made me shut up and not even want to try to get her to listen to me. Why would he grab my breast, or my neck, or threaten to punch me before literally throwing me 3 meters away to protect me from glass? Also hello, he threw me where there was glass. Her mind is literally messed up. When I asked her for her witness statement prior and to recount the event, she said that I pushed the plate, he held me, she couldn't remember which areas he held me, and then she suddenly saw me on the floor. And after that the police came, then after the police left, then I was shouting at him he was waving his hands. Like wtfffff, the police escorted me to my room after they left and gave him a stern warning, so how could I possibly be shouting at him at the start. The CCTV also wasn't working, Entitled was the only one who had access to it, and my cousin said that when he came to check the house after the incident, he looked for the recording box but it was not there. Maybe the recording box wasnt there, but there were so many eye witnesses. Thankfully the family helper saw some parts, she saw him choke me and threaten to punch my face. Then she grabbed onto him to try to get him off me, but she couldn't. Can you imagine, he was holding me, while I was flailing my arms and trying to get him off, she was also using all her strength to try and grab him. (I could only reach his shirt, cause y'know my hands are shorter right, but that was such a strong feeling of helplessness and humiliation).Then she felt him fling me onto the floor where I landed. The family helper decided to be my witness, risking her job, as grandmother is her employer.
So I brought all these information and went through the court process, going to mentions after mentions before finally going to the trial session. After both of us were berated by the judge, Entitled then said he would just give me the PPO without trial, as I was wasting all their time. The judge then warned me about harassment because I threw the plate and shouted at him when we were quarrelling. But I was also hoping that the judge would let Entitled know that what he also did on both occasions was physically violent. (he on another occasion threw my sewing machine at me when I was crying because of my anxiety, another ex family helper who was based in hong kong was also going to be my witness).
I admit crying was not the best way to deal with the PTSD, and I am finally learning coping skills now to disengage from the family interactions, with the support from the state counsellor. I wish I had these coping skills when I was younger, or someone to confide in, who wouldn't keep telling me to just learn to submit. But the long periods of physical and emotional abuse from a young child (for 15 years because of my father) was something I struggled to come to terms with. And being gaslit so much, I wondered if my reality was not what I experienced. But after talking to others, like my sister, counsellor, and friends I realise that it is true that I experienced what I experienced, and I can't make people who don't want to love me healthily, love me in a way that is not conditional. I am working on the PTSD symptoms because of traumatic memories.
What I did was wrong, and I would not do it again. What he did, and did not admit despite multiple witnesses, was family violence on much deeper levels, supported by dysfunctional family values and learned behaviour. Before the trial started, my auntie kept gaslighting me "Entitled buys and sells things, he does work that does not involve people's emotions, whereas you research and will do work that deals with people". I asked her if another relative grabbed her breast and threw her, would she be saying the same things to herself? She said that "as a wife and a woman, I will never do this. I love myself and my family too much", "its ugly when you let all these air in public. I am assessing the situation and as an aunt and a woman, I will tell you that you are at the losing end". "Nobody will end up unscathed. Your assessment is this - who will be more bruised? my guess is - YOU. You are at the losing end." "Listen to me, i have done all these for a living before. Its not worth your while. You are only dragging yourself through the mud, he will be bruised, but you will be bloodied" UH hello, she was an accountant prior, and dealth with distressed family assets and now she helps to run grandpa's bus company (which I guess now belongs to my uncles, cos y'know only men get this priviledge). But she is not a family lawyer, counsellor, judge. At that point I didn't think it was gaslighting, to me I felt fear that maybe my future would be destroyed. She said I would not be able to find a job and he will be fine. But then I told her that I didn't care anymore, I just want it to be addressed objectively. It was my last shread of dignity and if I can't find a job after my PhD, I can go work for a social enterprise that helps abused women. What is the use of this "face value"? I don't understand the obsession with maintaining "face" in public, especially in this culture I grew up in. And what is love, if its going to be something like this? I don't think this is love to me. Maybe that is love to you, but I am now striving towards maintaining healthy, objective, and respectful love. I am tired. I did not have strong feelings of self-worth, and self-respect, and self-love prior and having recently worked on maintaining boundaries, and starting to love myself with the help of the counsellor, I think it is a much healthier way to live life.
I was encouraged by another police officer who came down (when ironically my brother called for the police to come) to file for the PPO because I told her that I would not like to pursue this as a sexual assault case. Because I knew that he grabbed my breast to humiliate me, and not for sexual gratification, and because of that they did not dust the fingerprints off my dress. She knew that I initially didn't want to go to court for the PPO, and encouraged me to just read up on the application with the QR code, with me not knowing that it required a whole court process. I did that, only after extensive thinking and worrying if I would be kicked out of the family home as I am now still completing my PhD. I was very worried about whether the court would hear the case objectively, and was reassured by a pro bono lawyer I consulted that the judge would be fair. Stepping up required a lot of courage I had to muster, despite the gaslighting, denying my experience, and lack of fairness. I know the world is not fair, but I just wanted to also be loved by them. The last 6 months has been an ordeal and although what the judge said during the court session has affirmed their thinking, I am glad that it is finally over with the protection I needed, allowing me to try to move on from the past and detach. This culmination of past incidences and the lack of repercussions has made me realise that the affectionate healthy familial bonds I seek, cannot be forged with people with vastly different value systems. I am graduating soon and can finally get a job and eventually get a place of my own. I will fulfil my duty as a daughtegranddaughter purely out of obligation but will never allow anyone to put their hands physically on me again.
Entitled now comes everyday, sometimes twice a day to eat food that the helper cooked, or to see grandparents, and it makes me anxious when I hear him come. I lock my door, put on ear plugs and cover it with noise cancelling head phones and bring the dogs into my room before locking the door. It takes me a few hours to get the flashbacks out of my mind and the tension out of my chest. Yesterday, he came when no one was around except the helper and me. And initially he saw me and left, but then when I went down to the kitchen to talk to the helper about how I felt the tension and my chest felt tight, he came back in and hung around in the living room for a while. He heard what I said and today he came back again. I don't know if he is now "establishing his presence" because during the last 6 months, he only came once a week to get his laundry washed or to see grandmother. But now it is intensifying and I don't know why they decide to do this now, as they know that my PhD defense is next week and I am trying as hard as I can to prepare but the sudden increased intensity of visits and bringing his friend to the family house is making it very challenging for me. I know I should manage my feelings and it is not their responsibility to care about how this affects me. But I struggle with it, and I tried to visualise my dogs when the flashbacks come, and I tried to close the curtains and prevent any noise so even if he comes, I won't know he is there. But I am finding it increasingly difficult and reaching a point. I tried mindful meditation, but the cognitive defusion from the thinking only lasts during the time of mindful breathing for example and with my limited bandwidth now with the PhD as a priority, I had to share this with people, and to request for any suggestions that might be helpful to cope during this short intense period.
TL:DR Gaslighting abusive family, sorry I needed to vent and to find out what I could do better to cope and move on..

bloody hell I just found out Engel x Oliver exist. Abbie x Miss Sasha. And Claire x Engel porn-😭
1.Engel is like fuckin fifteen and Oliver is 18 or smh??

1. LITERAL PEDOPHILIA. 😟😟😟
   
2. Fifteen year olds.
   

Poor kaatie and poor these characters ☹️☹️☹️

It seems like almost everyone is angry, psychotic, manic, society is sick, morals are on a major decline, crime is rising, countries attacking and starting wars with other countries, there seems to be a rise in natural disasters too.
I am struggling with my own mind, seeming like something is trying to take control of me, and like there is an evil being(s) trying to hijack my mind.
I am a 28 year old man and still wake up screaming from nightmares sometimes. Sometimes it is very vivid and disturbing and I wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, like bloody murder, like my life, and/or soul, is in danger.
I can’t help but consider the possibility of spiritual beings. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Satan, angels, demons (fallen angels).
I have had dreams (nightmares) of demonic seeming beings, the most terrifying look like (mostly) normal humans for some reason, while the stereotypical beast like demons aren’t as scary.
I also have plenty of vivid, bizarre, uncanny, eerh dreams that aren’t actually nightmares, but just feel, off, like something isn’t right. I also experienced a dream that was like a completely different dimension/reality, not at all based off of real life, and when I woke up I didn’t remember that real life or even myself ever existed. The end of the dream was everyone staring out at a dystopian industrialized world too, after I had been chased by a (ghost girl?) girl I never even actually saw, and the dark and eery scene of everyone staring out at the dark dystopian industrialized world was on the top floor, and I think I actually remember being there in at least one dream before.
I don’t know how the brain can produce these realistic productions, but I’ve seen what really seem like demons visiting me to scare me.
In waking life intrusive thoughts torture and torment me, sometimes I feel this unbearable negative energy, thoughts of killing people, and just being a POS (did being bullied and trauma and abuse twist my mind to be this way?)
Nobody believes me probably, but I’ve been physically controlled (NOT PARALYZED) against my will before, and it was calling out to God that made it stop.
I’m so hesitant to give up my own desires that I am clinging onto sin, and basically the devil, despite not wanting to be evil and going to Hell. But things like LUST, as a 28 year old male virgin who’s never even had a girlfriend (and I don’t even want to have kids) I just can’t let it go. I also don’t see waiting for marriage an option for me, as I’m so behind in life and already 28. I just want to experience that physical/sexual/emotional intimacy, I don’t see why that’s wrong just because you’re not committing for life.
I’ve read about it people having HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of demonic spirits inside of them, being removed with an exorcism, that takes HOURS. Sounds TERRIFYING AND TRAUMATIC, but staying possessed has to be worse.
The entire concept of demonic spirits possessing/controlling people, or just being “attached” to them to influence them, is very strange, terrifying, and disturbing.
I have found myself actually considering watching satanic femdom porn, but stayed away, because I’m not a complete atheist. Technically any and all porn may be “demonic” and attract demons into your life.
I feel the only way to be free of this is to klll myself, but I’m afraid I’ll go to Hell. But, if the devil is real, then God must be real too. And He’s supposed to be all loving and forgiving, right? And all powerful. So He SHOULD be able to save me, and heal me, but I’m kind of afraid that He won’t.

I can feel it all bubbling up again. It's only been a few months but nothing has really changed. Sure today going to the DMV to renew my Class A without the X (hazmat and tanker endorsement) endorsement, I'm not sure if I'll be making it to get it again we'll see, helped somewhat by talking to the person who renewed my license because they did experience a loss in the same way I tried to take my life but there's so much that I'm just buried under that is still piling on like it was before I jumped. Beforehand I was struggling hard with my depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
Struggling with keeping myself together to work, struggling with my physical health, struggling with my dogs especially two of them escaping my fence, and struggling with keeping my house clean. Because of all that my finances slipped not to mention having my ex who said "I'll help" with things and I end up having to foot the bill on them and end up plunged further into debt which was what was the start of the big downward spiral. I tried my best until in July of 2023 I ended up in a place mentally where I was pretty low and I planned to jump the first time. I went to the hospital instead to get help... There wasn't very much help. People assume that in a psych ward you get help. No at the end of the day sometimes they end up being a revolving door because they go on the American School system method of trying to help people and one thing fits all.
There's no individual therapy it's all group therapy. Some places may offer it but they won't tell you up front you have to figure it out by hounding the staff enough until they give you information about it. Same with religious services. I absolutely loathe these places because half the staff is garbage the other staff is completely aware of it and it's so obvious that they take it out on the patients or it's seen in patient facing areas. My experience recently is the absolute worst but I'm not going to go on about that for now.
It's not like I'm not trying. I've been living in my own personal mental hell since I was young because I've had to deal with shit since I was young. That's part of the reason I'm estranged from my family. My mom's boyfriend that I remember isolated both her and I down to some small town in Oklahoma, I was too young to remember the town but I do remember floating to different towns for awhile after that, but one night that I do remember was them fighting and her being hit so badly in the face that her eye bled. I didn't know how to react to that and I remember nightmares I had after that. One of which of her being bald wearing a crown of thorns similar to Jesus in depictions. She bled from multiple spots on her head while I looked up at her and there was bright light everywhere and little children singing. That's all I remember from that nightmare but the bloody head was the thing that I remember the most. Bullshit, you say, that's one of very few dreams/nightmares I remember I've had. The other was a mixture of an episode of futurama and powerpuff girls because it was the Powerpuff Girls fighting something on the garbage planet (which would be that garbage ball in the episode of Futurama.) From my understanding these are called epic dreams. Mind you that man was bad news since I do remember some other garbage from him like snippets of him being in my room at night (I start feeling really weird and a bit sick to the stomach when I think to hard about it to remember more) or one night of me going to pee and hearing my mom crying and wanting it to stop but it didn't. I also remember the fear of hearing that trying to sneak past to go back to lie down.
Regardless that's not even the first thing that's happen to me at the hand of my family. I could go on but I won't I don't feel like feeling any more horrible than I already do. Seriously all I wanted most of my life was to have some treat me like I matter. To be understood and cared for as a person rather than what I can give them. To grow beyond my mental disorders and live a quality of life where I can cope with them and not be taken advantage of because of them. But that's not how life works. You get lucky or you get shit on. I don't understand why I'm here when I am just so much of a burden and such a horrible person to others by their own word.
I've been working since I've left my family and tried not to go back and ask for help and I didn't. I dealt with an ex who anally raped me on a weekly basis until I got a hole in the wall apartment that was some jank illegally converted house. Black mold growing on the wall and my heating elements broke down on me during a winter that had a polar vortex flow through our region and my landlord gave me a shitty cheap ass tiny space heater that could barely cut it. I was at least smart enough to figure out how to keep things warm for me my dog and cat at the time. The same ex who decided to use me sexually was also my only way of figuring out how to drive not to mention I ended up being a support system for this person. Trust me it's complicated but I did understand why they needed it although they were not forgiven for what happened.
Still I worked my way up, I worked my way out of the worst of my depression, I was able to get into a better living condition, and I got a vehicle to get me from a to b. I was doing better. I didn't need help from the broken ass garbage system, minus being a borderline alcoholic from being an Assistant Night Manager at the worst grocery store I was working at in the city usually all the screw ups of higher up ended up there and it was going downhill it's closed now, of psychiatric help after trying to reach out and getting a bias person who didn't want to listen to me and blamed me when I talked about my mother. It wasn't until I met my ex husband that things went downhill and now I am where I am.
I have no income because my only source of income was my ability to work. I can't afford to go see a therapist. I'm being taken care of the person who doesn't believe he did anything wrong towards me or constantly minimizes things that have happened. Not to mention that him taking care of me includes me doing things I shouldn't be doing like wrestling with any of the dogs especially my largest who is over one hundred pounds which is slowing down my back from healing. I'll lose my house and possibly even my car and have to figure out what to do with my pets because I can live on the streets but I won't force them to. Two of them are seniors my cat being twelve along with one of my dogs. The other dog is seven and my youngest only being one but he's also a Dane and he was going to be a service dog for my PTSD and anxiety because I felt both were bad enough to warrant the need for that kind of help especially going places since my anxiety in public has gotten so much worse over the years. So having him go to another family not only means him having to go through a rough transition since he doesn't do well in places he doesn't know when I'm not around but I also lose him since he does help to some degree now since he does try to help when I'm not feeling to well.
Why do I feel things bubbling because no matter what I don't see why I keep being told I'm here for a reason. I feel like that reason is a nefarious reason. A reason where I'm just supposed to suffer and I honestly don't want to keep being around to be a sacrificial tool or just torture porn for anyone who is bored or have to constantly be thrown back to the begin and have to climb back out of the pit. I am exhausted. I'm tired of going it alone. I'm tired of not having help and just being looked down on. But for whatever reason that's what life has to be. Where it's every person for themself unless it's someone like me and then I have to have all empathy and give chance after chance. Maybe I just deserve to watch myself go down the drain. I don't know why because I exist rather than dying at birth since the umbilical cord was wrapped around my throat. I don't know. I suppose I'll see if I keep being a antidepressant lab rat who loses everything while going back to work after my back is healed and go back to being used since that seems to be the only purpose I serve.

I grew up with a very mentally ill mom with borderline personality disorder. She was cruel to me as a child. She spanked me often for small things that normal children do. My dad also frequently whipped me with belts and flyswatters. My mom liked to spank me hard with her bare hands on my bare skin. She also wore tons of spikey diamond rings, which could cut my skin. One time, I bled from her ring, hitting me with a hard slap. I have a lot of emotional pain from being forced to strip naked for spankings and bend over the bed when I was hit in front of my family. It was very humiliating, and it was often for minor offenses or because my parents were in a bad mood and wanted to take their anger out on me. I remember my dad whipping me for asking my grandparents for a snack when I was seven. He was mad that I was asking for more food after I had already had a meal. Sometimes, my mom would slap me in the face. Being spanked by my parents made me very scared of them. Some people claim that they have no trauma from being spanked as kids and that I am just too soft and it makes me feel like such a weak and shitty person. I was spanked very often but can only remember having lasting welts and bruising a handful of times.
My mom would tell me I was a horrible person and a spoiled evil child. We lived in absolute filth. Fly and gnat infestations, maggots, cups of urine (from my parents peeing in cups), rotten garbage, and dirty bloody period pads on the floor. My mom was always high on pills and acting like a loon. She would walk around naked constantly and stick food items in her vagina. She would spread her vulva and anus in front of me and make it talk. Looking back, that was probably strange to do in front of kids. She showed me her vaginal discharge. She would constantly make me listen to her marital problems and talk to me about my dad’s porn addiction when I was very young and described the sex acts in the videos.
I also have a lot of trauma from my mother disrespecting my bodily autonomy. I have a memory of her stripping me naked in the front yard (where people driving past my house could see me, and there was a neighbor in my yard talking to my mom who could also see me naked. This happened when I was 9 or 10. She would also make me get naked in front of my father against my will at an age far past it being appropriate. I could not say no to my mom, or I would get a painful and humiliating spanking from her. My mom had no respect for my body. One day she grabbed my breasts and pulled my naked boobs out of my bra to inspect them. My friend said it was no big deal cause she was my mom, and I should not be uncomfortable with her touching my body. She would not let me bathe myself until I was about 10 or 11, even though I was perfectly capable of bathing myself at a way younger age. She also gave me a forced hug while she was naked, and I was very uncomfortable with my mother's naked body pressing against me, but she did not care.
Edit
I forgot to mention that I also had a fear of her because she would inflict pain on me through caregiving activities. She would rip my hair out when she would brush it really hard. From the top down. She would “clean” my ears by shoving her rasor sharp finger nails deep in my ears and clawing them on the inside. This stuff happened almost everyday. I was also bitten hard by my mother when I was 5, leaving teethmarks that my tutor later saw. When I was 9 she ripped a piece of flesh of my finger by digging in my finger with her sharpe nails. It hurt a lot and was very bloody. I had a small bump that did not bother me at all but my mom said it had to come of. When I broke my collerbone at 8 she drug me out of bed by the arm that was supported the broken bone. The pain was intense and some of the worse pain I have experienced. and she would not take me to the doctor for several days.

So, upon reading through the Mei literally makes babies thread (which is hilarious and I may be writing this as a one-shot at some point), I noticed these comments:

God damn it, I thought we were done with these.
Nobody's eating anything, especially not Izuku.
And boy does that sound confusing for those without context.
This man singlehandedly started a trend for prompts that in some form had Izuku eating babies

So, as anyone would be, I was curious about this trend. Upon searching through the recent sub activity, I can only assume that most/all of these prompts were deleted. Though I'm down to guesswork, it only makes sense that such a topic be frowned upon.
So, being the reasonable and responsible person that I am (currently need to be putting the finishing touches on a paper due tomorrow), I immediately brainstormed 1200 words for a story idea in the comments.
Granted, the story isn't about eating babies. Not really, at least. That kind of thing is a premise is so far beyond the pale for a character like Izuku that it immediately shatters the reader's suspension of disbelief. Instead, I'd love to explore the slippery slope of moral compromise, in which an Izuku with a Quirk with a physiological affect (much like Toga and Twice's issues) begins to slip further and further away from his youthful idealism. At first, he fights his baser nature, chaining himself to societal norms with sheer determination and ardent hero worship. But the years pass, and rationalization becomes easier, and piece by piece he begins to make what his past self would call 'mistakes'.
So, anyhoo, here's the brainstorming I did instead of finishing a grad school paper.

The alternate Quirk in question would be similar to Toga's, but different by means of Izuku keeping the Quirks of those whose flesh he consumes.
He'd definitely find this out by accident, or possibly due to a biological imperative (like Toga's literal bloodthirst) urging him to just fucking bite people. Izuku being Izuku, he suppresses the shit out of this urge, briefly becoming even more unhappy in his childhood than in canon (the bullying continues, with some extra added malice because Izuku may have made to bite the finger kid's fingers off at some point). This keeps up until Izuku discovers Quirked animals.
Like Toga, he probably finds a bird or some other small creature and just goes fucking primal on it after a really bad day. This happens a couple of times, in secret, until finally he comes across an animal with a Quirk. Upon taking a bite of it and digesting, he finds the Quirk beginning to manifest.
This comes as a fucking revelation, and while he's willing to show off the new Quirk itself, he definitely keeps the circumstances of its acquisition under lock and key.
A lot of the bullying slows after Izuku demonstrates a Quirk (though Bakugo is likely still distinctly unfriendly and his posse follows suit), and while Izuku's life certainly improves for the better as a result, the hunger just isn't going away.Izuku comes across another Quirked animal. He's fascinated by the thought of more Quirks, but he's really starting to feel the self-loathing from devouring small creatures. Eventually, he starts looking into other options.
After some brainstorming, Izuku scopes out a medical waste facility that his new Quirks conveniently allow him to surreptitiously gain access to. He breaks in, and starts rooting around the sealed containers of discarded tissue that is due to be incinerated. Eventually, he comes across something substantial: a human limb, severed in what appears to be an accident and unable to be reattached.
And he just fucking goes to town on it.
Unsurprisingly at this point, he winds up with a new Quirk, and the hunger and increasing desire for cool new powers keep him coming back to the waste facility, eating more and more discarded body parts and gaining more and more powers (which he practices with in secret, aside from his initial 'Outed' Quirk).
Eventually he finds an umbilical cord and slurps it up like a spaghetti noodle. This, shockingly, gives him a Quirk that puts all the rest to shame, and leads to Izuku theorizing why this is the case (research leads him to believe its either due to an increased stem cell count or Quirk Singularity theory causing younger children to display more powerful and volatile Quirks, or possibly both). Either way, he makes a special effort to seek out umbilical cords like he's from fucking Yharnam, when, eventually he comes across a miscarried fetus.
This is the true moral event horizon, the moment where, if he does this, then he knows he can't be a good person. He struggles with the weight of this thing, this tiny thing in his bloody hands, and gives in.
It is sinfully delicious, truly sating his hunger for the first time in his life, and the Quirk he receives is like no other. But, most of all, beyond the relief he feels is the certainty that he is damned, that he is beyond redemption, and that he no longer deserves to be a Hero.
So his dream shifts. He still works hard and gains entry to UA, but opts for General Studies instead. Rather than Heroism, he puts his knowledge of Quirks (both of others and his own ingested stockpile) to use, and aims to become a Quirk Counselor specializing in Quirk-induced urges and dysmorphia (because he knows what that's like). He comes into contact with the Hero Course at times for this, who also pick his brain for new applications of their existing Quirks in-between rudimentary counseling sessions. He helps as best he can, because he really does now what its like to struggle with being inside your skin, at the revulsion that can result from a part of yourself feeling wrong.
The hunger has never gone away, after all.
He ignores it as best he can, but it inevitably weighs on him when he hasn't had a decent meal in a while.
One day, in second year, he's out in a seedy part of town, doing a wellness check on an unfortunate family with particularly difficult Quirks (this is part of his Counseling program, and he's permitted to go on his own due to the aptitude he's shown for the subject), and gets jumped.
The mugger just wants his money, but he's too rough and too close and his Quirk transforms him into some kind of terrifying beast, and Izuku instinctively bites out his throat with a mouthful of needle fangs that he'd gotten from, like, a Quirked possum or something. There's no one around, not in this part of town, so Izuku drags the body out of sight and uses his Quirks (including the mugger's own, newly settling) to dispose of it.
He spends a while holed up in his room, upon returning, and his grades start to slip, but he has already stepped over one moral line in the sand, and is quicker to recover this time. Eventually he comes out of his funk, and resumes his activities with his typical drive, but with one key difference.
He doesn't seek them out. Not intentionally, not with any amount of planning. But, on his home visits, he'll see the hallmark signs of abuse. He'll take note of the corrupt executives and landlords and petty villains making others' lives hell. He'll come across a scarred and battered little girl fleeing from a fate worse than death.
And, slowly, one-by-one, things start to happen to these people.
Most of it is small, if you can call abusive spouses and slave-driving executives getting mangled in alleyways by a huge beast small, but an example is made of the first member of the Shie Hassaikai that Izuku comes across. Toya Setsuno is found, barely breathing, strapped to a lightpost with his arms missing up to the shoulder save for his severed hands, artistically wrapped around the man's own neck.
The hunt begins in earnest for the brutal vigilante, but Setsuno's broken testimony described a beast with needle teeth, far too big and far too fast. Of course, no one thinks to look towards UA, in which young Midoriya Izuku is set to graduate with honors, eager to enter university to double-major in Quirk Counseling and Psychiatry.
He grows to be a mover and shaker in the world of heroes, despite his silent vow to never become one himself, maintaining and growing his contact list throughout the industry while becoming privy to some of the most personal and classified secrets imaginable. Though he'd never call himself a hero, most heroes themselves would disagree, not knowing what only he himself knows.
Because, sometimes, he fucking eats people.
Epicure (BnHA/Hannibal)

In a way, it's almost more of Dexter cross*, rather than Hannibal, what with the victims being 'acceptable targets'. However, the key inspiration here is Dr. Hannibal Lecter's cultured sophistication and psychiatric mastery juxtaposed with the cravings of a brutal cannibal. Izuku in this fic, by contrast, has a legitimate desires to help people (namely, heroes and civilians struggling with their Quirks), even while willfully committing atrocious crimes on the sly. He also studies under Lunch Rush while at UA, solely so that I can have the excuse to include NBC Hannibal's food porn. That show really does make you feel weird when it makes you hungry.
* Also, I'm still traumatized by just how fucking poorly Dexter ended (haven't even been able to bring myself to watch New Blood), and really have zero interest in making it an official part of the fic.