Hello!
First of all, I've tried to look for FAQ but didnt find it so I'm just hoping its ok to ask this here?
So anyway, I only need 2 things for the platinum, feed on donu and kill heart with ironclad. However, i absolutely can not get my head around this character. I havent consumed any media for any other characteruns but ive found myself looking thru every tier list and guide and whatnot for ironclad, its such an honest to god bad character, the starting relic sounds very begginer friendly, but his card choices are just awful.
I won once years ago with a limit break/flex deck on my first day of playing and ever sijce then, not a single win. Time eater or the heart will always get me and I have no clue what i should change.
I've played like 30hours just with ironclad since i cleaned defect trophies and gave up on str decks, i rarely see any limit breaks and whatnot, id love to try a barricade deck but usually only see a barricade in act 3 and by then my deck is different. Usually i can build an exhaust deck, which gets by ok, but as i said time eater or heart especially heart is impossible with the decks i build.
I sometimes take corruption, but end up losing in the same act, i have no idea why its regarded as a good card, especially against bosses, kills every synergy (unless dead branch but then youll just have a bunch of random cards and full on rng combat) could someone explain to me how or why this card is good how it should be used? Why is it regarded as good and even essential???
I get that exhaust can spread decks thinner which is why true grit is a cool card to have
I usually try something along the lines of evolve combined with struggle through and other high def cards. Im a bit more of a defensive player, id rather block everything and deal 2 dmg than take 16 and deal 18 dmg
Other than corruption, does any ironclad mains have any things to share with me that usually wins them a game? Im trying A0 for gods sake and failing miserably. I just need to kill heart once (and then get lucky w feed and donu)
Ive also tried juggernaut but rarely had any luck with a build around that.
I tend to take these cards a lot in my runs: -1x armaments upgraded (to upgrade every card so i can use binfires for key/heal, i also usually run a deck of like 10 cards) -1x warcry (i mean its free and lets you reshuffle a card for next turn) -1x dark embrace -1-2x true grit -1x immolate -1x power through -1x sword boomerang -1x cleave (for those black blobs/flying mobs) -1x second wind (-1x feed gotta try my luck if donu lol) Maybe a spot weakness, carnage or shrug it off Maybe an exhume, havoc, bloodletting Also offerings, as many as i get
As you can see i usually try to immolate them then draw extra when i draw burn then exhaust burns. It gets me to the heart, but has zero chance against its massive attacks. Oh i also take one or maybe even two flame barriers if i see it, for heart fight (but never draw it when i need it obviously....)
Maybe someone can shed light on my bad card choices?
Thanks for your input in advance,
I appreciate any help! :)

1: Q‘uo
The information which we may offer is simply that there is indeed a certain amount of retro-engineering of advanced technology'' : Q'uo on individuals getting early access to 4th density technology
A Q’uo, I have a question. The concept of fourth-density technologies that are coming in now came to my mind. I’m wondering if you can comment on whether that is a useful concept and if so, if you could discuss it from a spiritual perspective without infringing on my or anyone else’s free will.
We are those of Q’uo, and we thank you for your query, my brother. The information which we may offer that is harmless is simply that there is indeed a certain amount of what this instrument would call retro-engineering of advanced technology as you would call it, and that this source of these bits of technology is of a polarity which is negative, that is to say, there is that energy within your peoples which is called service to self.
Just as we, in careful awareness of the need for the maintenance of complete free will, come to you in thoughts by means of channels such as this one, so there are entities which come to those who are seeking to graduate in service to self and it is those energies which are compatible with such things as physical landings and so forth of entities from elsewhere.

We are not saying that the technology itself has a negative vibration, but only that it would not be appropriate for a service-to-others group from elsewhere to infringe upon the free will of those upon your planet by attempting to introduce technology which might be to the advantage of those to whom it was given.

We thank you for this question, my brother, and this concludes the material that we see as being harmless.
Source : https://assets.llresearch.org/transcripts/files/en/2010_0123.pdf
They have been giving technology to certain groups as (UFO “crashes”).
Summary:
The story Q'uo tells is of 5D 'space pirates' that have taken control of the planet. Non-physical beings eat non-physical stuff. They create a negative environment through a variety of means to prepare their food. Intelligent energy enters the 3D beings through the red center, is 'processed' by the negative lower centers of the being, and is then collected and 'eaten' by 5D STS.
2: Law of One / Ra:
53.17
Questioner Then, in general, I could say that if an individual has a “close encounter” with a UFO or any other type of experience that seems to be UFO-related, he must look to the heart of the encounter and the effect upon him to determine whether it was Orion or Confederation contact. Is this correct?
Ra I am Ra. This is correct. If there is fear and doom, the contact was quite likely of a negative nature. If the result is hope, friendly feelings, and the awakening of a positive feeling of purposeful service to others, the marks of Confederation contact are evident.
Also it States that Technology was aided to structures of „military complex“ for negative purpose.
Summary: different types of agendas of various groups / beings.
ufo sightings = mostly good intention
Ufo landings, abductions, mutilations, crashes = bad intentions

1. Tom DeLonge / Lue Elizondo

It’s also in line with what DeLonge says, some good, some bad (although he’s emphatic that the UAP phenomenon overall is bad for us). Also Lue with his somber quote and we are not the top of the food chain.

1. Robert Monroe: (Monroe Institute where cia trained the remote viewers)

loosh Full Story:
https://www.scribd.com/document/435745494/Loosh
Summary:
Another term for lifeforce/emotional/spiritual energy. Term coined by Robert Monroe in his astral voyages where, upon interacting with nonphysical entities, he learned this energy was called “loosh” and that mankind was being farmed for this energy. Same thing as Demiurgic energy. The crudest type is simply etheric energy, which is produced by all living things including plants. The more refined type is astral energy, the energy of emotion and passion and drive. Etheric and astral energies are not entirely distinct but blend from one type into the other. Astral energy is released when a being feels pleasure or pain or any other emotion. Only 2nd Density and higher lifeforms can produce astral energy, for 1st Density lifeforms do not have astral bodies only etheric and/or physical. In Far Journeys by Robert Monroe, an explanation is given of earth as an energy farm, whereby hyperdimensional controllers began with plants to produce a low type of loosh and later discovered that more sentient beings produced a more exquisite kind of loosh if made to experience fear, suffering, pain and anguish. Working as the machinery of the energy farm to harvest mankind of astral and etheric energies through perpetual war, hardship, death, sexual obsession, and other forms of spiritual oppression.

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May 20-22, a pop-up clinic in Victorville at the Midtown Spectrum Building is offering free blood tests as part of a national study about heart disease. This study is run by Care Access. They test your Lp(a)* levels, an indicator for heart disease risk, and call you later with your test results.
You get a $45 Visa prepaid card at the end of your appointment. The appointment takes 15 minutes.
You can use this link to schedule your appointment time: http://friends.careaccess.com/6DlJ3Q
* Lp(a) tests are not part of routine cholesterol screenings and are not covered by most insurance, so this is a great chance to get a free screening and get rewarded too.

The ocean. A vast and sprawling landscape that covers 71% of the earth. Only 5 percent of the ocean has been discovered, and less than 10 percent of it has been mapped. Despite humanities advancements in technology, sonar and exploration, the ocean still remains a mystery to this day. New discoveries are made every day, such as over 2,000 new species being discovered each year, and yet humanity is still in the dark on so much. The ocean has been a huge interest of mine since I was young, specifically the animals and stories that go along with it. From gigantic monsters like Leviathan, Kraken, eels longer than buses, glowing creatures of the deep, to actual real life monsters like the giant squid, spider crab, angler fish and more. Every single story or fact is beyond entertaining to me, and I really want to base an RP on the ocean.
Hello beautiful people! It is I, picklez, and I’m back again with yet another strange and fever dream like roleplay request! This time, as I’ve said before, I’m looking for an ocean themed plot. Now there are two ways in my mind that this can be done: the sci-fi horror route, or the fantasy romance route. Both are really enticing, with no preference on either of them! I’ll diverge my ideas for those later, but first: info on me!
I’m a 21 year old British uni student who’s currently studying a material science degree. Additionally, I also work retail on the weekends (it sucks but it pays). I’m usually free at least once a day, and I can give at least one response a day, maybe more. I have been roleplaying for 5 years at this point, and consider myself a literate style writer. I’m able to break discords word limit on occasions, but it’s not needed for most scenes like dialogue or action. I’m a huge nerd (if you haven’t guessed already) and enjoy conversations about sci-fi, horror and fantasy. I roleplay exclusively on discord and Reddit. Now then, the plots!
Plot 1: Sci-fi horror For this one, I’d base it heavily on books like The sphere and 20 trillion leagues under the sea. So it would be a standard ocean research gig, but slowly transforms into a fear inducing battle to survive. This transition can be caused by a couple things: mysterious artifacts/areas, god-like creatures beyond human comprehension, or the simple getting stuck trope. That is all up for discussion! I’d like to have a fleshed out cast of at least 4, max 7 characters. I’d love to explore themes of close-quarters living, the struggle of trying to keep it together as a team when everything seems so hopeless and of course, themes of fear and panic with no escape. Romance can be included, but isn’t needed!
Plot 2: fantasy romance This one would be based more on stories like Bailin and Li Yun, and Castle Swimmer. I can imagine a heart warming and heart wrenching story, either set in a completely fantasy world between two underwater-faring adventurers, or a more modern fantasy style romance between a human and an ocean dweller. Either way, it’ll be very fun to see what we can come up with! For this one romance is a must, and I’m open to all pairings. I have a current preference for MxM, but any pairing works for me!
And that’s it for now! If you plan to DM me, do give some info about yourself and which plot you’d like to do. I’ve got plenty ideas to share, but don’t be afraid to share your own! Have a good day all!

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You are not recommended to try spells to bring a lover back if you are going through the following: You know that your relationship with your ex is toxic and the best painful option to take in this is to move on. It is not a good choice to be in a relationship that is un-natural, one that is built on witchcraft. The love spark as to be their at all times.
Even the most powerful love spell may not fulfill the things that are required for a real relationship to be in place. Love should be natural and if your partner looses interest in you, its better that you let them follow the heart. If one door closes, expect another open infront of you.
Therefore witchcraft or love spells should not be the ultimate solution to mending a broken heart in a relationship, one has to make love exist naturally by doing the right things to your partner, the things that will recapture the inner feelings of love and affection as you did in the start of the relationship.
Only if and when all has been tried and failed to work that one should order for my love spells that actually work, and indeed this will be the last nail in the coffin to fix your troubled relationship permanently.
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Email: [intclairvoyant@gmail.com](mailto:intclairvoyant@gmail.com) [spellsherb22@gmail.com](mailto:spellsherb22@gmail.com)

The ocean. A vast and sprawling landscape that covers 71% of the earth. Only 5 percent of the ocean has been discovered, and less than 10 percent of it has been mapped. Despite humanities advancements in technology, sonar and exploration, the ocean still remains a mystery to this day. New discoveries are made every day, such as over 2,000 new species being discovered each year, and yet humanity is still in the dark on so much. The ocean has been a huge interest of mine since I was young, specifically the animals and stories that go along with it. From gigantic monsters like Leviathan, Kraken, eels longer than buses, glowing creatures of the deep, to actual real life monsters like the giant squid, spider crab, angler fish and more. Every single story or fact is beyond entertaining to me, and I really want to base an RP on the ocean.
Hello beautiful people! It is I, picklez, and I’m back again with yet another strange and fever dream like roleplay request! This time, as I’ve said before, I’m looking for an ocean themed plot. Now there are two ways in my mind that this can be done: the sci-fi horror route, or the fantasy romance route. Both are really enticing, with no preference on either of them! I’ll diverge my ideas for those later, but first: info on me!
I’m a 21 year old British uni student who’s currently studying a material science degree. Additionally, I also work retail on the weekends (it sucks but it pays). I’m usually free at least once a day, and I can give at least one response a day, maybe more. I have been roleplaying for 5 years at this point, and consider myself a literate style writer. I’m able to break discords word limit on occasions, but it’s not needed for most scenes like dialogue or action. I’m a huge nerd (if you haven’t guessed already) and enjoy conversations about sci-fi, horror and fantasy. I roleplay exclusively on discord and Reddit. Now then, the plots!
Plot 1: Sci-fi horror For this one, I’d base it heavily on books like The sphere and 20 trillion leagues under the sea. So it would be a standard ocean research gig, but slowly transforms into a fear inducing battle to survive. This transition can be caused by a couple things: mysterious artifacts/areas, god-like creatures beyond human comprehension, or the simple getting stuck trope. That is all up for discussion! I’d like to have a fleshed out cast of at least 4, max 7 characters. I’d love to explore themes of close-quarters living, the struggle of trying to keep it together as a team when everything seems so hopeless and of course, themes of fear and panic with no escape. Romance can be included, but isn’t needed!
Plot 2: fantasy romance This one would be based more on stories like Bailin and Li Yun, and Castle Swimmer. I can imagine a heart warming and heart wrenching story, either set in a completely fantasy world between two underwater-faring adventurers, or a more modern fantasy style romance between a human and an ocean dweller. Either way, it’ll be very fun to see what we can come up with! For this one romance is a must, and I’m open to all pairings. I have a current preference for MxM, but any pairing works for me!
And that’s it for now! If you plan to DM me, do give some info about yourself and which plot you’d like to do. I’ve got plenty ideas to share, but don’t be afraid to share your own! Have a good day all!

This is an expansion of a recent post and also incorporates some ideas from this theory (by u/ndependent-Design17). Throughout the series the reader is repeatedly reminded that "only death can pay for life" — that magic, especially powerful magic, comes at great cost.

"Only death can pay for life, my lord. A great gift requires a great sacrifice.”

Davos, ASOS
This phrase or variations of this phrase are repeated by Melisandre, Mirri, etc. at various points throughout the series. That which follows is a highly speculative theory on the nature of the cost of magic in the series. Specifically, that souls are central to the exercise of magic and can be used as magic currency.

1. establishing the concept of the soul

Oh, to be sure, there is much we do not understand. The years pass in their hundreds and their thousands, and what does any man see of life but a few summers, a few winters? We look at mountains and call them eternal, and so they seem… but in the course of time, mountains rise and fall, rivers change their courses, stars fall from the sky, and great cities sink beneath the sea. Even gods die, we think. Everything changes.

Bran, AGOT
What happens after we die? Is there some part of us that lives on or do we simply cease to exist. These are fundamental questions that are essentially unanswerable in life but not in ASOIAF. The reader is given a point-of-view account of death in the prologue of ADWD. After unsuccessfully attempting to steal the body of Thistle, a wildling spearwife, Varamyr dies and briefly becomes a disembodied consciousness:

The white world turned and fell away. For a moment it was as if he were inside the weirwood, gazing out through carved red eyes as a dying man twitched feebly on the ground and a madwoman danced blind and bloody underneath the moon, weeping red tears and ripping at her clothes. Then both were gone and he was rising, melting, his spirit borne on some cold wind. He was in the snow and in the clouds, he was a sparrow, a squirrel, an oak. A horned owl flew silently between his trees, hunting a hare; Varamyr was inside the owl, inside the hare, inside the trees. Deep below the frozen ground, earthworms burrowed blindly in the dark, and he was them as well. I am the wood, and everything that’s in it, he thought, exulting.

Prologue, ADWD
Afterward his "spirit," or soul, is eventually transferred into a body of wolf and he begins his second life. This event, and the process of skin-changing more generally, appears to involve projection of a soul from one body into another. The process of transferring souls to either the animal vessels or the weirwoods is central to the magic of the Children of the Forest.

“Someone else was in the raven,” he told Lord Brynden, once he had returned to his own skin. “Some girl. I felt her.”
“A woman, of those who sing the song of earth,” his teacher said. “Long dead, yet a part of her remains, just as a part of you would remain in Summer if your boy’s flesh were to die upon the morrow. A shadow on the soul. She will not harm you.”
"Do all the birds have singers in them?"
“All,” Lord Brynden said.

Bran, ADWD
After death a "shadow on the soul" of the Singers remain in the crows. The soul of Orell is also described as living on in the body of his eagle after his death.
This process appears to take two forms: the soul can be temporarily projected from one body into another (e.g., as happens when Bran skin-changes into Hodor) or can be permanently transferred as is described in the separate examples above.
These transferred souls merge with their recipient, at least to some degree, and may decay over time:

"The wolf is part of you from that day on, and you’re part of him. Both of you will change.”
Other beasts were best left alone, the hunter had declared. Cats were vain and cruel, always ready to turn on you. Elk and deer were prey; wear their skins too long, and even the bravest man became a coward. Bears, boars, badgers, weasels … Haggon did not hold with such. “Some skins you never want to wear, boy. You won’t like what you’d become.” Birds were the worst, to hear him tell it. “Men were not meant to leave the earth. Spend too much time in the clouds and you never want to come back down again.
...
"They say you forget," Haggon had told him, a few weeks before his own death.
"When the man's flesh dies, his spirit lives on inside the beast, but every day his memory fades, and the beast becomes a little less a warg, a little more a wolf, until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains."

Prologue, ADWD
Bran is provided with similar warnings about the danger of spending too much time in Summer's skin by Jojen.
The Bran that appears to Jon-Ghost in the vision in ACOK is also likely the lingering soul of a non-contemporaneous Bran, contained in the weirwoods and communicating from the future.

The weirwood had his brother’s face. Had his brother always had three eyes?
Not always, came the silent shout. Not before the crow.
He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.
"Don’t be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this." And the tree reached down and touched him.

Jon, ACOK
There is more information about this in the Time Traveling Bran series. Briefly, the version of Bran in this vision does not appear to be contemporaneous because likes the dark, is able to open Jon's third eye, and smells of death. (This is well outside of the scope of this theory however.)

2. shadow magic requires souls

As above the reader is repeatedly reminded throughout the series that "only death can pay for life." What is specifically being sacrificed, though? Is the magic being fueled by the blood of the sacrificed or by something else?
To answer this let us examine one of the most concrete example of magic in the series, the use or exchange of Stannis Baratheon's "life-fire" in order for Melisandre to manifest the shadows used to kill Renly Baratheon and Courtney Penrose.

Shadows only live when given birth by light, and the king's fires burn so low I dare not draw off any more to make another son. It might well kill him."
Melisandre moved closer.
"With another man, though... a man whose flames still burn hot and high... if you truly wish to serve your king's cause, come to my chamber one night. I could give you pleasure such as you have never known, and with your life-fire I could make..."

Davos, ASOS
According to this explanation, the cost of producing these shadow appears to have been part of his "life-fire," or soul. The shadow is also specifically described as having the shape Stannis. Whether this applies to other types of magic — specifically blood magic or fire magic — is less clear but shadow magic very much appears to require the use of souls.
The exchange of seed for soul is also directly referenced in the story of the Night's King.

A woman was his downfall; a woman glimpsed from atop the Wall, with skin as white as the moon and eyes like blue stars. Fearing nothing, he chased her and caught her and loved her, though her skin was cold as ice, and when he gave his seed to her he gave his soul as well.

Bran, ASOS
Stannis is described by Davos afterward as follows:

The look of him was a shock. He seemed ten years older than the man that Davos had left at Storm’s End when he set sail for the Blackwater and the battle that would be their undoing. The king’s close-cropped beard was spiderwebbed with grey hairs, and he had dropped two stone or more of weight. He had never been a fleshy man, but now the bones moved beneath his skin like spears, fighting to cut free. Even his crown seemed too large for his head. His eyes were blue pits lost in deep hollows, and the shape of a skull could be seen beneath his face.

Davos, ASOS
Asha later describes Stannis as appearing life a "man with one foot in the grave."

What little flesh he’d carried on his tall, spare frame at Deepwood Motte had melted away during the march. The shape of his skull could be seen under his skin, and his jaw was clenched so hard Asha feared his teeth might shatter.

Asha, ADWD
These descriptions seem appropriate for a character that has lost part of their "life-fire" or soul.
Throughout the series Stannis is forced to make a series of increasingly difficult decisions. The most significant of these decisions regards the fate of his nephew, Eric Storm. Melisandre repeatedly urges him to "give [her] the boy," presumably to be burned, but is rebuffed by Stannis.

“I know the cost! Last night, gazing into that hearth, I saw things in the flames as well. I saw a king, a crown of fire on his brows, burning … burning, Davos. His own crown consumed his flesh and turned him into ash. Do you think I need Melisandre to tell me what that means? Or you?” The king moved, so his shadow fell upon King’s Landing.
"…what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?”
“Everything,” said Davos, softly.

Davos, ASOS
Is the life of this bastard boy worth the lives of millions that would die if the Others break through the Wall? Making a deal with the devil and literally selling his soul in pursuit of some greater good seems very appropriate for his character, thematically.

3. blood and fire magic

As opposed to the creation of the shadows described above, we are also provided an example of blood magic in the leech burning ritual.

“Give me the boy, Your Grace. It is the surer way. The better way. Give me the boy and I shall wake the stone dragon.”
...
Melisandre bowed her head stiffly, and said, “As my king commands.” Reaching up her left sleeve with her right hand, she flung a handful of powder into the brazier. The coals roared. As pale flames writhed atop them, the red woman retrieved the silver dish and brought it to the king. Davos watched her lift the lid. Beneath were three large black leeches, fat with blood. The boy’s blood, Davos knew. A king’s blood. Stannis stretched forth a hand, and his fingers closed around one of the leeches.
“Say the name,” Melisandre commanded.

Davos, ASOS
Following this ritual all of the mentioned individuals do die but do so as the part of separate conspiracies (e.g., Robb Stark is betrayed by the Freys and Boltons, Joffrey Baratheon by Littlefinger and the Tyrells, etc.). It is left intentionally ambiguous by the author but it does not appear that the ritual was responsible.
The creation of the shadows required part of Stannis' soul. Could it be that the leech burning ritual was unsuccessful because blood alone is not sufficient as a sacrifice?
These forms of magic are frequently described, at least in the community, separately as "shadow magic" and "blood magic." These concepts — "fire and blood" and "flame and shadow" — are highly associated with one another in the series:

“Shadow?" Davos felt his flesh prickling. "A shadow is a thing of darkness."
”You are more ignorant than a child, ser knight. There are no shadows in the dark. Shadows are the servants of light, the children of fire. The brightest flame casts the darkest shadows."

Davos, ACOK
I speculate that these are different expressions of the same concept; that all of these fall under the general umbrella of fire magic and share common principles. Fire consumes.
After Alester Florent is sacrificed on Dragonstone Davos describes "the smell of burning flesh" on the wind:

Melisandre had given Alester Florent to her god on Dragonstone, to conjure up the wind that bore them north. Lord Florent had been strong and silent as the queen's men bound him to the post, as dignified as any half-naked man could hope to be, but as the flames licked up his legs he had begun to scream, and his screams had blown them all the way to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, if the red woman could be believed. Davos had misliked that wind. It had seemed to him to smell of burning flesh, and the sound of it was anguished as it played amongst the lines.

Davos, ADWD
Whether these forms of magic are actually interchangeable or not — whether they each require the consumption of souls — is difficult to prove based on the text. It appears likely given the association between these concepts that sacrifice that powered this "anguished wind" was that of a soul and not a body or blood.

4. dancing shadows

The tent was aglow with the light of braziers within. Through the blood-spattered sandsilk, she glimpsed shadows moving.
Mirri Maz Duur was dancing, and not alone.
...
No, Dany wanted to say, no, not that, you mustn’t, but when she opened her mouth, a long wail of pain escaped, and the sweat broke over her skin. What was wrong with them, couldn’t they see?
Inside the tent the shapes were dancing, circling the brazier and the bloody bath, dark against the sandsilk, and some did not look human. She glimpsed the shadow of a great wolf, and another like a man wreathed in flames.
“The Lamb Woman knows the secrets of the birthing bed,” Irri said. “She said so, I heard her.”
“Yes,” Doreah agreed, “I heard her too.”
No, she shouted, or perhaps she only thought it, for no whisper of sound escaped her lips. She was being carried. Her eyes opened to gaze up at a flat dead sky, black and bleak and starless. Please, no. The sound of Mirri Maz Duur’s voice grew louder, until it filled the world. The shapes! She screamed. The dancers!
Ser Jorah carried her inside the tent.

Daenerys, AGOT
The introduction of shadow magic in the series is provided above with Mirri Max Duur. Following this ritual Drogo is described essentially as a lifeless husk:

"He seems to like the warmth, Princess," Ser Jorah said. "His eyes follow the sun, though he does not see it. He can walk after a fashion. He will go where you lead him, but no farther. He will eat if you put food in his mouth, drink if you dribble water on his lips."

Daenerys, AGOT
It has previously been speculated that Mirri "reverse skin-changed" Drogo (e.g., "strength of the mount go into the rider, strength of the beast go into the man."). The description provided is less consistent with a horse soul inhabiting a human body than it is with the complete or near-complete absence of a soul. It appears more likely in retrospect that Mirri sacrificed part of Drogo's soul to summon the shadows, likely as a means to kill Daenerys' unborn child.

“The stallion who mounts the world will burn no cities now. His khalasar shall trample no nations into dust."

Daenerys, AGOT

5. reanimation

If "only death can pay for life" and souls are used as a form of magical currency how does one explain the reanimation or resurrection process?
There is a paucity of information on the reanimation of the dead in the series. The resurrection of Beric Dondarrion, for example, appears to be different in fundamental ways from that of the wights or Cold Hands. (We are potentially given a point-of-view account of this process if you accept that Victarion died in ADWD.)

“Thoros, how many times have you brought me back now?”
The red priest bowed his head. “It is R’hllor who brings you back, my lord. The Lord of Light. I am only his instrument.”
“How many times?” Lord Beric insisted.
“Six,” Thoros said reluctantly.
“And each time is harder. You have grown reckless, my lord. Is death so very sweet?”
Arya, ASOS

There is no immediately identifiable cost for the "kiss of life" and repeated resurrection of Beric. I speculate that Thoros is breathing part of his soul into Beric during this process ("each time is harder").
We are admittedly not given any direct textual evidence of this although Thoros is described as appearing very different after performing this ritual several times in a way that is not entirely dissimilar to the changes in Stannis’ appearance referenced above.

“Here’s the wizard, skinny squirrel. You’ll get your answers now.”
He pointed toward the fire, where Tom Sevenstrings stood talking to a tall thin man with oddments of old armor buckled on over his ratty pink robes. That can’t be Thoros of Myr. Arya remembered the red priest as fat, with a smooth face and a shiny bald head. This man had a droopy face and a full head of shaggy grey hair. Something
...
“Thoros of Myr. You used to shave your head.”
“To betoken a humble heart, but in truth my heart was vain. Besides, I lost my razor in the woods.” The priest slapped his belly. “I am less than I was, but more. A year in the wild will melt the flesh off a man. Would that I could find a tailor to take in my skin. I might look young again, and pretty maids would shower me with kisses.”

Arya, ASOS
Thoros attributes these changes to his renewed devotion to the Red God and spending "a year in the wild" although he is not exactly forthcoming with Arya about the resurrection process. It is also likely that he may not entirely understand what specifically is being exchanged here.
Thoros later describes Beric giving the "kiss of life" to the corpse of Catelyn Stark:

“The Freys slashed her throat from ear to ear. When we found her by the river she was three days dead. Harwin begged me to give her the kiss of life, but it had been too long. I would not do it, so Lord Beric put his lips to hers instead, and the flame of life passed from him to her. And… she rose. May the Lord of Light protect us. She rose.”

Brienne, AFFC
Notably, this process produces a reanimated Catelyn (a.k.a. Lady Stoneheart). The soul of Beric, or at least whatever is left of his soul at this point in the series, is consumed in order to resurrect Catelyn.

6. cold shadows (wild speculation)

The terms "white shadows," "pale shadows," and "cold shadows" are repeated used to describe the Others. The Others are also highly associated with ghosts — the spirits of souls of the dead bound to the earth. (The forrest is literally called the Haunted Forrest.)

The Others made no sound.
Will saw movement from the corner of his eye. Pale shapes gliding through the wood. He turned his head, glimpsed a white shadow in the darkness. Then it was gone. Branches stirred gently in the wind, scratching at one another with wooden fingers. Will opened his mouth to call down a warning, and the words seemed to freeze in his throat. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps it had only been a bird, a reflection on the snow, some trick of the moonlight. What had he seen, after all?
“Will, where are you?” Ser Waymar called up. “Can you see anything?” He was turning in a slow circle, suddenly wary, his sword in hand. He must have felt them, as Will felt them. There was nothing to see. “Answer me! Why is it so cold?” It was cold.
Shivering, Will clung more tightly to his perch. His face pressed hard against the trunk of the sentinel. He could feel the sweet, sticky sap on his cheek. A shadow emerged from the dark of the wood. It stood in front of Royce. Tall, it was, and gaunt and hard as old bones, with flesh pale as milk. Its armor seemed to change color as it moved; here it was white as new-fallen snow, there black as shadow, everywhere dappled with the deep grey-green of the trees. The patterns ran like moonlight on water with every step it took. Will heard the breath go out of Ser Waymar Royce in a long hiss. ...
The Other slid forward on silent feet. In its hand was a longsword like none that Will had ever seen. No human metal had gone into the forging of that blade. It was alive with moonlight, translucent, a shard of crystal so thin that it seemed almost to vanish when seen edge-on. There was a faint blue shimmer to the thing, a ghost-light that played around its edges, and somehow Will knew it was sharper than any razor.

Prologue, AGOT
This is again highly speculative but it seems reasonable to consider that these cold shadows are not "ice demons" but are in fact ghosts, the spirits or souls of men that are bound to the earth through magic by the Children of the Forest. (The textual evidence of the creation of the Others by the Children is linked in a separate post here.) Whereas fire consumes, ice preserves.
This would explain several unusual characteristics of the Others as described by Tormund

“Tormund,” Jon said, as they watched four old women pull a cartful of children toward the gate, “tell me of our foe. I would know all there is to know of the Others.”
The wildling rubbed his mouth. “Not here,” he mumbled, “not this side o’ your Wall.” The old man glanced uneasily toward the trees in their white mantles. “They’re never far, you know. They won’t come out by day, not when that old sun’s shining, but don’t think that means they went away. Shadows never go away. Might be you don’t see them, but they’re always clinging to your heels.”
...
Tormund turned back.
"You know nothing. You killed a dead man, aye, I heard. Mance killed a hundred. A man can fight the dead, but when their masters come, when the white mists rise up… how do you fight a mist, crow? Shadows with teeth … air so cold it hurts to breathe, like a knife inside your chest … you do not know, you cannot know … can your sword cut cold?"

Jon, ADWD
A reasonable interpretation of this is that the Others are present during the day, at least in some capacity, and are only able to assume corporeal form at night.
The Others are also described as "going lightly upon the snow" which is in keeping with their nature as spirits.

“The white walkers go lightly on the snow,” the ranger said. “You’ll find no prints to mark their passage.”

Samwell, ASOS

7. conclusions

This highly speculative theory that attempts to reconcile the several seemingly disparate concepts in the series related to magic, namely the actual nature of magical sacrifice ("only death can pay for life") and shadows or shadow magic. More specifically, I suggest that souls are the primary magical currency and can be consumed to summon shadows, create glamours, etc. I also speculate that similar processes took place during Mirri Maz Duur's shadow-binding ritual in AGOT and during the repeated resurrections of Berric Dondarrion in ASOS. I further suggest that the Others are ghosts, the spirits of souls of the dead bound to the earth.

Hey Sportsfans — it's time for Week 7 of baseball Power Rankings: These baseball numbers have been forwarded directly from Manfred's office. They are accurate and caanot be questioned.
Every voter has their own style / system and the only voting instructions are these:

"To an extent determined individually, you must take into account how strong a team is right now and likely to be going forward. You must, to some degree, give weight to the events and games of the previous week."

TRANSPARENCY: This link will show you who voted each team where and has added neat statistics!
Please check this space shortly for a link to the Auxilliary Post for added details and stats!
If something is a little messed up, feel free to pester me let me know.
Total Votes: 30 of 30. Another Perfect Vote!.

#		Team	Δ	Comment	Record
1		Dodgers	0	The Dodgers started off a mediocre road trip by sweeping the Marlins in dominant fashion, followed by a sleepy series against the padres. My early season prediction of the Dodgers's infield defense being the biggest issue was completely wrong. Mookie looks natural at short, and Muncy has been playing pretty darn well at 3rd. We will be using our prayers this week to pray that Shohei is going to be okay	27-15
2		Phillies	+1	It's tough to end the week on a walkoff loss to the Marlins and feel good, but it's hard to complain about a 4-2 stretch. Nick Castellanos might finally not be the worst hitter in baseball after he says he started treating hitting like glorified batting practice again. Ranger Suarez has arguably been the best pitcher in baseball, pitching to a 1.5 ERA and an astounding 0.72 WHIP with team wins in each of his starts. Somehow this performance isn't even all that surprising for a guy with a 4.18 ERA last year. He was this dominant in a half season between the bullpen and rotation in 2021 and has a career 1.62 ERA in 7 postseason starts and 2 relief appearances. This week: another weird scheduling quirk as they play a 4 game set against the Mets with the first two at Citi Field and the next two in Philly before the Nats come to town for a 3 game series.	28-13
3		Orioles	-1	I was hoping the Orioles would go 5-1 this week but they went 4-2. Still nothing to be super upset about. I think the main concerns right now are Mullins is hitting under .200 and Santander still not hitting the way he can. Yesterdays game was just not great so hopefully it was just a one-off and can be flushed and they move on. Blue Jays and Mariners are in town this week so it doesn't get any easier.	26-13
4		Yankees	0	Our pitching is so good right now. Anyone in the rotation could pull a Glasnow and write their number on a ball for a cute girl, and she’d call. Doesn’t even have to have their name. She doesn’t care if its’s Nestor Cortes or Clarke Schmidt. Yankees starter? She’s calling, and she’s shaving her legs beforehand. If we signed Pete Davidson for some spot starts there'd be a second baby boom. By the way, my nickname for Clarke Schmidt used to be Farte Schidt. He has very much made me eat my aforementioned schidt this year, and officially has the second-best starter ERA behind Luis Gil, as we all predicted. In other news, Judge and Stanton both have their pop at once, Soto is doing what Soto does, and Verdugo is playing sneaky good right now. We also officially took the season series against Houston 6-1, which feels GREAT. If only they were a playoff team so we could finally bounce them this year. Oh well. A Yankees-A’s ALCS it is.	27-15
5		Braves	0	The walk off loss hurts, but can't be too upset with a 4-1 bounce back week! Big time perfromance from our SP. Giving up only 4 ERs in 23.2 IP (1.52 ERA) in these 5 games. Our bats are not what we have come to expect, but that can't last much longer. Signs of life from Acuña and Olson and continued performance by Ozuna. If by the end of May we don't see massive improvement to our offensive numbers, I will be surprised. Until then, buckle up because the offense is coming.	24-13
6		Twins	+3	Another great week, Sausage be praised! We took series from the Blue Jays and Mariners with both blowouts and well-pitched close games. I think it's safe to say that the team has found its groove, and this is how the Twins can be expected to perform moving forward. The only blip has been that the bullpen is having a slight slump, but that will even out shortly.	24-16
7		Brewers	0	Paul Who? The only starting pitcher debut I care about is BOBBY GAS who threw 6 innings of 2 hit, 0 run ball in a win against the Cardinals. He fills a much needed spot in the Brewers rotation, and likely would have been up sooner if not for an injury of his own. Rhys Hoskins also had a monster week, racking up 3 HR and 9 RBI in hist last 5 games. I had my doubts this young lineup and shaky rotation actually could be a contending ballclub over 162 games, but I'm not going to argue with the results.	24-16
8		Guardians	-2	Another bad week. The Guardians had rough series against the Tigers and the mighty World Champion favorite White Sox. This coming week, we play the reigning World Series champs and the hottest team in our division. I'm not worried. Not at all.	25-16
9		Cubs	-1	The Cubs went 3-3 this week in what felt like a complete microcosm of their season. While they did get Justin Steele, Cody Bellinger, and Seiya Suzuki back from injury, they lost Dansby Swanson and Yency Almonte, who had been a rare reliable bullpen arm. Christopher Morel also had a scare after tweaking his knee sliding into sexond, but fortunately is alright. Otherwise, the offense remained inconsistent, the starting pitching was outstanding, and the bullpen was abysmal at worst and heart-stopping at best. While he didn't continue his usual dominance against them, Ian Happ extended his streak of 62 consecutive games reaching base vs the Pirates. This week, the Cubs travel to Atlanta to take on the Braves before hosting the Pirates for 4 games.	24-17
10		Royals	+2	The Royals have a chance to be in first place by themselves this late in the season for the first time since 2016. It feels like a lifetime ago. Yes, it is just seven weeks into the season but hopes are usually gone by this point. Maybe this year can be different.	25-17
11		Mariners	0	Apologies for any typos, doing this from mobile is miserable. Not the best week, but given the pitching hiccups I can't complain too much. Woo is back (and hopefully staying back, him getting pulled was a bit of a scare.) The next few series are another gauntlet, and if the M's can make it through playing relatively well they'll be in a good positon to take advantage of their schedule for the end of the month and early June. Up next: 3 vs. Roy L's, 3 @ Oreo L's	22-19
12		Padres	+2	The San Diego Madres beat LA on both día de las Madres (friday) as well as Mother’s Day, wherein both we got great pitching performances from King and Darvish respectively. Arraez capped off the walk-off win on friday, and it was nice to see Bogaerts get one deep on Sunday. So far in ‘24 the Padres haven’t lost a series to the Dodgers, whether in LA, San Diego, or South Korea. It’s a bit cathartic, though I do wish there was less blue in the stands this weekend though. Really interested to see how they come out against the rocks, as SD was only able to split the 4-game series earlier in the season. This one lines up between the series’s vs LA and ATL, it could be a bit of a trap, hoping the Pads continue their series winning streak (which is now at 4) and just take care of business.	22-21
13		Rangers	-3	The baseball gods are unforgiving. Sacrfices have to be made and will continue to be made to the baseball gods. Oh dear baseball gods please forgive our hubris for thinking the baseball suffering was over. It was not but also, flags fly forever.	22-20
14		Red Sox	-1	The Sox have not been having a good May. Losing Casas has been brutal, and the expected bump in performance from Vaughn Grissom at 2nd hasn't happened (well, at least not yet). As a team we have a decent looking triple slash, but situationally they've been horrible. In high leverage PAs, the Sox are hitting .195/.264/.272 in 247 PAs. We have loads of talent, but there's always some issue whether it be defense or clutch hitting that holds us back from being truly competitive.	21-19
15		Tigers	0	The City Connects... phew phew phew. Looks like we got tire tracks laid on us after a truck ran us over. No thanks. I hate it... and that's not even mentioning the dumb hat. In terms of actual baseball, though, Tarik Skubal is still Skuballing. This week: 3 vs. MIA, 3 at ARI.	20-20
16		Rays	0	It was a .500 week for the Rays, and the good news is things are looking better, but only like maybe? Randy and Yandy seem to be coming back a bit; glancing at the lineup's batting avg in the game threads isn't painful anymore. Ben Rortvedt is over .300 in the catcher position which is unheard of for this team. The bad news is pitching is only bouncing back from abysmal to below average. A week against division opponents on the road will test if that improvement is here to stay or if it was just a new uniform bounce.	20-21
17		D-Backs	+3	The Diamondbacks have been winning more games of late but are still underperforming their Pythagorean record and are 3 games below .500 despite a +17 run differential. Reinforcements should be coming back from injury soon which should help.	19-22
18		Mets	-1	I prewrote a big and extremely negative blurb about the Mets getting swept by the Braves. That did not happen, Brandon Nimmo hit a walk off homer on Sunday Night Baseball immediately as I was about to close my computer. Never been so glad to be wrong. Bring on the Phillies and Marlins.	19-20
19		Nationals	0	Two large accomplishments for the Nats in the last week - 1) For the first time since 2021, the Nats climbed over .500 with an opening win over the Orioles in a 2-game series. 2) Patrick Corbin recorded a win this week vs the Red Sox (his first since 9/11/23 vs the Pirates). The Nationals quickly slid back under .500 losing the 2nd game vs the Orioles and then 2 of 3 against the Red Sox. James Wood is hitting everything in AAA (over 1.000 OPS) so there are lots of calls for HRCHU.	19-20
20		Blue Jays	+1	Very up and down week for the Cyrulean Winged Creatures of Ontario. A 1-1 split with Philly and a 1-2 tilt vs Minnesota extended a too-long stretch of not winning series. Turns out, the combination of bad offense and a bad bullpen is bad. But there have been some glimpses of hope, at least. Alek Manoah threw a gem on Sunday, giving up 0 ER and 1 BB over 7 IP with 6 Ks. Also, Vladdy is hot as shit right now; since the last week of March, he's been hitting over .400 with a nearly 1.000 OPS. Still, the Jays in general continue to underperform and hover just below .500. Mid-May is not the time to freak out and this team is in too deep to consider a full tear-down even in a lost year, but things will be getting worrisome if they can't pull out of this middling stretch that has defined the first quarter of the season.	18-22
21		Giants	+4	Believe it or not, the Giants had a winning week. They continue their flirtation with being a decent team. However, we would like the world to know about several issues	19-23
22		Athletics	0	Happy Mother's Day, say hi or I'll drop by. Rough week, our bullpen had some awful games esp w/ Kotsay's choices. Will possibly fall below the Astros this week as we play them along with the Royals, and unlike last year I don't think we're a better team than KC. Toro and Harris have been playing well with Soderstrom getting some reps in (A+ defense from them), but Gelof will likely return and change something there.	19-23
23		Reds	-5	What is the meaning of suffering? This question has stumped philosophers throughout the ages, but nobody has come up with an answer. On the opposite side of this, we have also been in search of evidence of the divine, and we’ve searched for it in things like the miracle of our world. But again, we haven’t found anything. What if we’re looking in the wrong place? What if suffering is the greatest proof of a divine presence? Suffering is an art. Perhaps the greatest art ever devised. Devised by who or what though? Some greater power looming over us all? Some great cosmic being who looks upon us the same way as we do ants? Some primordial consciousness created trillions of years ago in the Big Bang that’s been merely existing all this time and only gets enjoyment out of the suffering of others? How do we figure this out? Who do we ask? I have a suggestion, we can ask baseball fans. We are connoisseurs of suffering. Ask an A’s fan about the meaning of suffering and you’ll get your answer just by looking into their eyes. Ask a Rockies fan, or a White Sox fan, or even a long dead Expos fan. It’s weeks like this that make me ask why do people even like baseball. Why do I even like baseball? Well, I remember my grandfather, since I live in the midwest we always called him Papaw, and he was the biggest baseball nut I know. He got me into baseball at a young age, and I remember one day asking why he loved it so much. When I say he was a baseball nut, I mean he was a season ticket holder, bought all the merchandise, had books about baseball and biographies written by baseball players, he had all of it. He could tell you everything about the sport with ease. So I asked him why did he love baseball so much because at that time I found it boring, and you know I still to this day remember his response. He told me baseball is 3 hours of nothing happening, but when something did happen, it was the most beautiful sport god ever created. I loved that man. Anyway this is all a long way to say the Reds suck ass right now.	17-23
24		Astros	0	Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, especially yours. I'll visit her later, don't worry. The Astros continue to take 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Kyle Tucker is the man and we should extend him immediately. Our pitching is still mostly trash and no one deserves an extension.	15-25
25		Pirates	-2	Paul Skenes made his highly-anticipated debut on Saturday, and it was one of two games the Pirates won last week. And they only won that game after first blowing a 6-1 lead thanks to 6 (SIX!) walks with the bases loaded. At one point. Kyle Nicolas threw 12 straight balls with the bases loaded. The bullpen was so depleted that Nicolas had to pitch the next day after Aroldis Chapman gave up 2 runs and 2 walks in the 10th inning, only for Nicolas to give up another run on a wild pitch. The Pirates then hit a 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning and lost 5-4. So yeah, that's how things are going in Pittsburgh right now.	18-23
26		Cardinals	0	Bro, I'm straight up not having a good time.	16-24
27		Angels	0	Hot and then cold and then hot again, Jo Adell hit three homers this past week. With a wRC+ on the season now standing at 134 and a wOBA of .363, the next step for him is now maintaining a level of consistency. With a bottom-ranking farm system, his future may not ultimately be in Anaheim. The looming rebuild is going to be a long and slow process and at the age of 25, it is hard to see much point in keeping him if someone else starts looking his way.	15-26
28		Rockies	+2	We have the longest winning streak in baseball. We just swept the defending champs. I'm pretty sure that means Rocktober is coming. In all seriousness, the Rockies finally gelled for the first time this season. The Rangers didn't play poorly, the Rockies just played well. The concern now is what kind of "Coors Hangover" we'll see.	12-28
29		White Sox	0	The White Sox had a shockingly good week while clinching the season series against the Rays and winning 3 of 4 from the Guardians over the weekend. They have been playing objectively better baseball lately (which means that their 72 wRC+ season stat was at 84 last week, and their pitching has been middle of the league since the start of May). It's not much, but it's something. Myself, I'm excited to attend my first ball game of the year tonight. Of course, I'll be going to the Schaumburg Boomers home opener.	12-29
30		Marlins	-2	So the fish still cant produce runs but at least we got burger back. Luzardo looks much better in his return to the bigs but oof braxton garrett. Somehow miami managed to squeeze out a win this week against two top teams but well see how they do against the tigers and mets this upcoming season.	11-31

It's 5 weeks after the break up and I get the pleasure of watching her talk to another guy after we just broke up. ( we work together the new guy as well) for context i told her i think this guy is flirting with her and i didnt appreciate it being done so blatantlyinmy face. But honestly I'm ok now I feel like I get to see this person for who they truly are even if the others can't see it. And that in itself is my closure I loved her so deeply that I made changes for her that I shouldn't have had to but in the end I did it anyways out of love.
I'm not mad I will continue to build my lawn and now put a fence up while she looks for greener pastures. This fence will be open for all others except her, she will have to climb this fence and do a couple back flips and score a perfect 10 in order to be welcomed back onto my lawn. I wish her the best she taught me a lot and there are things I know I must work on now because of our encounter. There will always be a place in my heart for no matter how small because her pushing me to be a better version of myself.
But for now I'm free. I feel good. I'm not stressing anymore. Your gone and it's not my loss it's yours.

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Hi everyone, I just discovered this sub, lovely place so far.
I'm hoping for some help here, I've only submitted to 3 agents so far, and the last one hit back with a rejection so fast I felt winded after. I realized I really need to reach out to the wider community and start asking for help with this if I want a better chance in the future.
Thank you all for your time!
Thank
---
Dear Agent,
I’m currently seeking representation for RUBY BIRD, a 66,000 word whirlwind queer romantic drama which takes place as the first novel in my series THE FLIGHT.
His perfectly boring life is shattered in one irreparable swoop when fantasy erotica novelist Ruben Eberly discovers his wife has been seeing someone else, and believing her husband to be a closeted queer man, announces she’s done with their relationship for good. In an attempt to lick his wounds and piece his broken heart back together, Ruben finds himself falling into the arms of his long lost best friend, Paul McKenzie, a free-spirit who carries with him the burden of a terminal cancer diagnosis.
With the goal of enjoying his final days on a road trip from Florida to Texas before hopping a plane to Alaska to die in peace, Ruben invites himself along, and the two make a strong effort to reconnect, with unexpected feelings blossoming as the long journey becomes a series of trysts. Paul’s claim of a terminal diagnosis is far from the only situation on his plate however, as Ruben learns his best friend has fallen head first into a series of addictions that have strangled the beautiful artist into a shell of his former self.
With the reveal that Paul has lied about his numbered days and is in reality planning to end his own life once the pair reach their final destination, Ruben’s goal of celebrating the man’s life becomes a mission to help his best friend face his past childhood trauma, fight his inner demons, and save him from himself.
RUBY BIRD is the first in a planned series of three books that will handle identity, sexuality, addiction, mental health struggles, and trauma, all topics of which I have personal and researched experience with.
Previously, I have self-published two stories, one novella, FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS, a lesbian romance taking place in a cult that forbids their attraction to one another, and HAIL SANTA, a coming-of-age YA novel about a young man struggling to separate the truth about the world from the lies he’s been told all his life.
While RUBY BIRD has previously been self-published, I retain all rights to my work.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
-Sullivan D. Cohen
-----
First 300 words:
The violent thrash of red and blue danced against white picket fences and pristine flat lawns in the suburban neighborhood I had once called home.
My father's calloused fingers patted my thin shoulder, his voice barely above a whisper as they wheeled her away in a lifeless black bag.
“I'm sorry, buddy,” was all he said, tears coating his throat, his strength failing him for the first time in my life.
I couldn't recall the moment before. My mind wrapped it up in a black cloth, shoved it in a locked box and hid it in a dark corner of my mind that I never dared to venture towards.
All I knew for sure was that she was gone.
Ten years after bringing me into the world, Marilyn Eberly left mine forever.
Chapter 1
An Ode To Norman
My wife clasped the white pages of the manuscript shut between her fingertips and looked at me with an eyebrow raised in utter disbelief.
“You can't actually be considering submitting this to her, Ruben.”
“She wants it.”
“Well I don't want to be the wife of the gay vampire erotica guy.”
“If it pays the bills then why do you care at all?”
“It's embarrassing, Ruben! Everyone is gonna think you're gay!”
It stung to hear, but she couldn't be right. Authors who craft tales of mobsters and organized crime aren't suddenly dubbed Al Capone. Sci-Fi novelists don't actually traverse time and space to weave their fantastical narratives. The men and women behind fictional espionage dramas aren't typically spies in disguise.
And a straight married man crafting a homoerotic fantasy isn't always a deeply closeted gay man.
Julie bit her lip and flipped forward a few pages.
“I just, I don't get why one of them can't be a woman. If your audience is women then one of them should be a woman, Fifty Shades, Twilight, Harlequin-”

This is an expansion of a recent post and also incorporates some ideas from this theory (by u/ndependent-Design17). Throughout the series the reader is repeatedly reminded that "only death can pay for life" — that magic, especially powerful magic, comes at great cost.

"Only death can pay for life, my lord. A great gift requires a great sacrifice.”

Davos, ASOS
This phrase or variations of this phrase are repeated by Melisandre, Mirri, etc. at various points throughout the series. That which follows is a highly speculative theory on the nature of the cost of magic in the series. Specifically, that souls are central to the exercise of magic and can be used as magic currency.

1. establishing the concept of the soul

Oh, to be sure, there is much we do not understand. The years pass in their hundreds and their thousands, and what does any man see of life but a few summers, a few winters? We look at mountains and call them eternal, and so they seem… but in the course of time, mountains rise and fall, rivers change their courses, stars fall from the sky, and great cities sink beneath the sea. Even gods die, we think. Everything changes.

Bran, AGOT
What happens after we die? Is there some part of us that lives on or do we simply cease to exist. These are fundamental questions that are essentially unanswerable in life but not in ASOIAF. The reader is given a point-of-view account of death in the prologue of ADWD. After unsuccessfully attempting to steal the body of Thistle, a wildling spearwife, Varamyr dies and briefly becomes a disembodied consciousness:

The white world turned and fell away. For a moment it was as if he were inside the weirwood, gazing out through carved red eyes as a dying man twitched feebly on the ground and a madwoman danced blind and bloody underneath the moon, weeping red tears and ripping at her clothes. Then both were gone and he was rising, melting, his spirit borne on some cold wind. He was in the snow and in the clouds, he was a sparrow, a squirrel, an oak. A horned owl flew silently between his trees, hunting a hare; Varamyr was inside the owl, inside the hare, inside the trees. Deep below the frozen ground, earthworms burrowed blindly in the dark, and he was them as well. I am the wood, and everything that’s in it, he thought, exulting.

Prologue, ADWD
Afterward his "spirit," or soul, is eventually transferred into a body of wolf and he begins his second life. This event, and the process of skin-changing more generally, appears to involve projection of a soul from one body into another. The process of transferring souls to either the animal vessels or the weirwoods is central to the magic of the Children of the Forest.

“Someone else was in the raven,” he told Lord Brynden, once he had returned to his own skin. “Some girl. I felt her.”
“A woman, of those who sing the song of earth,” his teacher said. “Long dead, yet a part of her remains, just as a part of you would remain in Summer if your boy’s flesh were to die upon the morrow. A shadow on the soul. She will not harm you.”
"Do all the birds have singers in them?"
“All,” Lord Brynden said.

Bran, ADWD
After death a "shadow on the soul" of the Singers remain in the crows. The soul of Orell is also described as living on in the body of his eagle after his death.
This process appears to take two forms: the soul can be temporarily projected from one body into another (e.g., as happens when Bran skin-changes into Hodor) or can be permanently transferred as is described in the separate examples above.
These transferred souls merge with their recipient, at least to some degree, and may decay over time:

"The wolf is part of you from that day on, and you’re part of him. Both of you will change.”
Other beasts were best left alone, the hunter had declared. Cats were vain and cruel, always ready to turn on you. Elk and deer were prey; wear their skins too long, and even the bravest man became a coward. Bears, boars, badgers, weasels … Haggon did not hold with such. “Some skins you never want to wear, boy. You won’t like what you’d become.” Birds were the worst, to hear him tell it. “Men were not meant to leave the earth. Spend too much time in the clouds and you never want to come back down again.
...
"They say you forget," Haggon had told him, a few weeks before his own death.
"When the man's flesh dies, his spirit lives on inside the beast, but every day his memory fades, and the beast becomes a little less a warg, a little more a wolf, until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains."

Prologue, ADWD
Bran is provided with similar warnings about the danger of spending too much time in Summer's skin by Jojen.
The Bran that appears to Jon-Ghost in the vision in ACOK is also likely the lingering soul of a non-contemporaneous Bran, contained in the weirwoods and communicating from the future.

The weirwood had his brother’s face. Had his brother always had three eyes?
Not always, came the silent shout. Not before the crow.
He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.
"Don’t be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this." And the tree reached down and touched him.

Jon, ACOK
There is more information about this in the Time Traveling Bran series. Briefly, the version of Bran in this vision does not appear to be contemporaneous because likes the dark, is able to open Jon's third eye, and smells of death. (This is well outside of the scope of this theory however.)

2. shadow magic requires souls

As above the reader is repeatedly reminded throughout the series that "only death can pay for life." What is specifically being sacrificed, though? Is the magic being fueled by the blood of the sacrificed or by something else?
To answer this let us examine one of the most concrete example of magic in the series, the use or exchange of Stannis Baratheon's "life-fire" in order for Melisandre to manifest the shadows used to kill Renly Baratheon and Courtney Penrose.

Shadows only live when given birth by light, and the king's fires burn so low I dare not draw off any more to make another son. It might well kill him."
Melisandre moved closer.
"With another man, though... a man whose flames still burn hot and high... if you truly wish to serve your king's cause, come to my chamber one night. I could give you pleasure such as you have never known, and with your life-fire I could make..."

Davos, ASOS
According to this explanation, the cost of producing these shadow appears to have been part of his "life-fire," or soul. The shadow is also specifically described as having the shape Stannis. Whether this applies to other types of magic — specifically blood magic or fire magic — is less clear but shadow magic very much appears to require the use of souls.
The exchange of seed for soul is also directly referenced in the story of the Night's King.

A woman was his downfall; a woman glimpsed from atop the Wall, with skin as white as the moon and eyes like blue stars. Fearing nothing, he chased her and caught her and loved her, though her skin was cold as ice, and when he gave his seed to her he gave his soul as well.

Bran, ASOS
Stannis is described by Davos afterward as follows:

The look of him was a shock. He seemed ten years older than the man that Davos had left at Storm’s End when he set sail for the Blackwater and the battle that would be their undoing. The king’s close-cropped beard was spiderwebbed with grey hairs, and he had dropped two stone or more of weight. He had never been a fleshy man, but now the bones moved beneath his skin like spears, fighting to cut free. Even his crown seemed too large for his head. His eyes were blue pits lost in deep hollows, and the shape of a skull could be seen beneath his face.

Davos, ASOS
Asha later describes Stannis as appearing life a "man with one foot in the grave."

What little flesh he’d carried on his tall, spare frame at Deepwood Motte had melted away during the march. The shape of his skull could be seen under his skin, and his jaw was clenched so hard Asha feared his teeth might shatter.

Asha, ADWD
These descriptions seem appropriate for a character that has lost part of their "life-fire" or soul.
Throughout the series Stannis is forced to make a series of increasingly difficult decisions. The most significant of these decisions regards the fate of his nephew, Eric Storm. Melisandre repeatedly urges him to "give [her] the boy," presumably to be burned, but is rebuffed by Stannis.

“I know the cost! Last night, gazing into that hearth, I saw things in the flames as well. I saw a king, a crown of fire on his brows, burning … burning, Davos. His own crown consumed his flesh and turned him into ash. Do you think I need Melisandre to tell me what that means? Or you?” The king moved, so his shadow fell upon King’s Landing.
"…what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?”
“Everything,” said Davos, softly.

Davos, ASOS
Is the life of this bastard boy worth the lives of millions that would die if the Others break through the Wall? Making a deal with the devil and literally selling his soul in pursuit of some greater good seems very appropriate for his character, thematically.

3. blood and fire magic

As opposed to the creation of the shadows described above, we are also provided an example of blood magic in the leech burning ritual.

“Give me the boy, Your Grace. It is the surer way. The better way. Give me the boy and I shall wake the stone dragon.”
...
Melisandre bowed her head stiffly, and said, “As my king commands.” Reaching up her left sleeve with her right hand, she flung a handful of powder into the brazier. The coals roared. As pale flames writhed atop them, the red woman retrieved the silver dish and brought it to the king. Davos watched her lift the lid. Beneath were three large black leeches, fat with blood. The boy’s blood, Davos knew. A king’s blood. Stannis stretched forth a hand, and his fingers closed around one of the leeches.
“Say the name,” Melisandre commanded.

Davos, ASOS
Following this ritual all of the mentioned individuals do die but do so as the part of separate conspiracies (e.g., Robb Stark is betrayed by the Freys and Boltons, Joffrey Baratheon by Littlefinger and the Tyrells, etc.). It is left intentionally ambiguous by the author but it does not appear that the ritual was responsible.
The creation of the shadows required part of Stannis' soul. Could it be that the leech burning ritual was unsuccessful because blood alone is not sufficient as a sacrifice?
These forms of magic are frequently described, at least in the community, separately as "shadow magic" and "blood magic." These concepts — "fire and blood" and "flame and shadow" — are highly associated with one another in the series:

“Shadow?" Davos felt his flesh prickling. "A shadow is a thing of darkness."
”You are more ignorant than a child, ser knight. There are no shadows in the dark. Shadows are the servants of light, the children of fire. The brightest flame casts the darkest shadows."

Davos, ACOK
I speculate that these are different expressions of the same concept; that all of these fall under the general umbrella of fire magic and share common principles. Fire consumes.
After Alester Florent is sacrificed on Dragonstone Davos describes "the smell of burning flesh" on the wind:

Melisandre had given Alester Florent to her god on Dragonstone, to conjure up the wind that bore them north. Lord Florent had been strong and silent as the queen's men bound him to the post, as dignified as any half-naked man could hope to be, but as the flames licked up his legs he had begun to scream, and his screams had blown them all the way to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, if the red woman could be believed. Davos had misliked that wind. It had seemed to him to smell of burning flesh, and the sound of it was anguished as it played amongst the lines.

Davos, ADWD
Whether these forms of magic are actually interchangeable or not — whether they each require the consumption of souls — is difficult to prove based on the text. It appears likely given the association between these concepts that sacrifice that powered this "anguished wind" was that of a soul and not a body or blood.

4. dancing shadows

The tent was aglow with the light of braziers within. Through the blood-spattered sandsilk, she glimpsed shadows moving.
Mirri Maz Duur was dancing, and not alone.
...
No, Dany wanted to say, no, not that, you mustn’t, but when she opened her mouth, a long wail of pain escaped, and the sweat broke over her skin. What was wrong with them, couldn’t they see?
Inside the tent the shapes were dancing, circling the brazier and the bloody bath, dark against the sandsilk, and some did not look human. She glimpsed the shadow of a great wolf, and another like a man wreathed in flames.
“The Lamb Woman knows the secrets of the birthing bed,” Irri said. “She said so, I heard her.”
“Yes,” Doreah agreed, “I heard her too.”
No, she shouted, or perhaps she only thought it, for no whisper of sound escaped her lips. She was being carried. Her eyes opened to gaze up at a flat dead sky, black and bleak and starless. Please, no. The sound of Mirri Maz Duur’s voice grew louder, until it filled the world. The shapes! She screamed. The dancers!
Ser Jorah carried her inside the tent.

Daenerys, AGOT
The introduction of shadow magic in the series is provided above with Mirri Max Duur. Following this ritual Drogo is described essentially as a lifeless husk:

"He seems to like the warmth, Princess," Ser Jorah said. "His eyes follow the sun, though he does not see it. He can walk after a fashion. He will go where you lead him, but no farther. He will eat if you put food in his mouth, drink if you dribble water on his lips."

Daenerys, AGOT
It has previously been speculated that Mirri "reverse skin-changed" Drogo (e.g., "strength of the mount go into the rider, strength of the beast go into the man."). The description provided is less consistent with a horse soul inhabiting a human body than it is with the complete or near-complete absence of a soul. It appears more likely in retrospect that Mirri sacrificed part of Drogo's soul to summon the shadows, likely as a means to kill Daenerys' unborn child.

“The stallion who mounts the world will burn no cities now. His khalasar shall trample no nations into dust."

Daenerys, AGOT

5. reanimation

If "only death can pay for life" and souls are used as a form of magical currency how does one explain the reanimation or resurrection process?
There is a paucity of information on the reanimation of the dead in the series. The resurrection of Beric Dondarrion, for example, appears to be different in fundamental ways from that of the wights or Cold Hands. (We are potentially given a point-of-view account of this process if you accept that Victarion died in ADWD.)

“Thoros, how many times have you brought me back now?”
The red priest bowed his head. “It is R’hllor who brings you back, my lord. The Lord of Light. I am only his instrument.”
“How many times?” Lord Beric insisted.
“Six,” Thoros said reluctantly.
“And each time is harder. You have grown reckless, my lord. Is death so very sweet?”
Arya, ASOS

There is no immediately identifiable cost for the "kiss of life" and repeated resurrection of Beric. I speculate that Thoros is breathing part of his soul into Beric during this process ("each time is harder").
We are admittedly not given any direct textual evidence of this although Thoros is described as appearing very different after performing this ritual several times in a way that is not entirely dissimilar to the changes in Stannis’ appearance referenced above.

“Here’s the wizard, skinny squirrel. You’ll get your answers now.”
He pointed toward the fire, where Tom Sevenstrings stood talking to a tall thin man with oddments of old armor buckled on over his ratty pink robes. That can’t be Thoros of Myr. Arya remembered the red priest as fat, with a smooth face and a shiny bald head. This man had a droopy face and a full head of shaggy grey hair. Something
...
“Thoros of Myr. You used to shave your head.”
“To betoken a humble heart, but in truth my heart was vain. Besides, I lost my razor in the woods.” The priest slapped his belly. “I am less than I was, but more. A year in the wild will melt the flesh off a man. Would that I could find a tailor to take in my skin. I might look young again, and pretty maids would shower me with kisses.”

Arya, ASOS
Thoros attributes these changes to his renewed devotion to the Red God and spending "a year in the wild" although he is not exactly forthcoming with Arya about the resurrection process. It is also likely that he may not entirely understand what specifically is being exchanged here.
Thoros later describes Beric giving the "kiss of life" to the corpse of Catelyn Stark:

“The Freys slashed her throat from ear to ear. When we found her by the river she was three days dead. Harwin begged me to give her the kiss of life, but it had been too long. I would not do it, so Lord Beric put his lips to hers instead, and the flame of life passed from him to her. And… she rose. May the Lord of Light protect us. She rose.”

Brienne, AFFC
Notably, this process produces a reanimated Catelyn (a.k.a. Lady Stoneheart). The soul of Beric, or at least whatever is left of his soul at this point in the series, is consumed in order to resurrect Catelyn.

6. cold shadows (wild speculation)

The terms "white shadows," "pale shadows," and "cold shadows" are repeated used to describe the Others. The Others are also highly associated with ghosts — the spirits of souls of the dead bound to the earth. (The forrest is literally called the Haunted Forrest.)

The Others made no sound.
Will saw movement from the corner of his eye. Pale shapes gliding through the wood. He turned his head, glimpsed a white shadow in the darkness. Then it was gone. Branches stirred gently in the wind, scratching at one another with wooden fingers. Will opened his mouth to call down a warning, and the words seemed to freeze in his throat. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps it had only been a bird, a reflection on the snow, some trick of the moonlight. What had he seen, after all?
“Will, where are you?” Ser Waymar called up. “Can you see anything?” He was turning in a slow circle, suddenly wary, his sword in hand. He must have felt them, as Will felt them. There was nothing to see. “Answer me! Why is it so cold?” It was cold.
Shivering, Will clung more tightly to his perch. His face pressed hard against the trunk of the sentinel. He could feel the sweet, sticky sap on his cheek. A shadow emerged from the dark of the wood. It stood in front of Royce. Tall, it was, and gaunt and hard as old bones, with flesh pale as milk. Its armor seemed to change color as it moved; here it was white as new-fallen snow, there black as shadow, everywhere dappled with the deep grey-green of the trees. The patterns ran like moonlight on water with every step it took. Will heard the breath go out of Ser Waymar Royce in a long hiss. ...
The Other slid forward on silent feet. In its hand was a longsword like none that Will had ever seen. No human metal had gone into the forging of that blade. It was alive with moonlight, translucent, a shard of crystal so thin that it seemed almost to vanish when seen edge-on. There was a faint blue shimmer to the thing, a ghost-light that played around its edges, and somehow Will knew it was sharper than any razor.

Prologue, AGOT
This is again highly speculative but it seems reasonable to consider that these cold shadows are not "ice demons" but are in fact ghosts, the spirits or souls of men that are bound to the earth through magic by the Children of the Forest. (The textual evidence of the creation of the Others by the Children is linked in a separate post here.) Whereas fire consumes, ice preserves.
This would explain several unusual characteristics of the Others as described by Tormund

“Tormund,” Jon said, as they watched four old women pull a cartful of children toward the gate, “tell me of our foe. I would know all there is to know of the Others.”
The wildling rubbed his mouth. “Not here,” he mumbled, “not this side o’ your Wall.” The old man glanced uneasily toward the trees in their white mantles. “They’re never far, you know. They won’t come out by day, not when that old sun’s shining, but don’t think that means they went away. Shadows never go away. Might be you don’t see them, but they’re always clinging to your heels.”
...
Tormund turned back.
"You know nothing. You killed a dead man, aye, I heard. Mance killed a hundred. A man can fight the dead, but when their masters come, when the white mists rise up… how do you fight a mist, crow? Shadows with teeth … air so cold it hurts to breathe, like a knife inside your chest … you do not know, you cannot know … can your sword cut cold?"

Jon, ADWD
A reasonable interpretation of this is that the Others are present during the day, at least in some capacity, and are only able to assume corporeal form at night.
The Others are also described as "going lightly upon the snow" which is in keeping with their nature as spirits.

“The white walkers go lightly on the snow,” the ranger said. “You’ll find no prints to mark their passage.”

Samwell, ASOS

7. conclusions

This highly speculative theory that attempts to reconcile the several seemingly disparate concepts in the series related to magic, namely the actual nature of magical sacrifice ("only death can pay for life") and shadows or shadow magic. More specifically, I suggest that souls are the primary magical currency and can be consumed to summon shadows, create glamours, etc. I also speculate that similar processes took place during Mirri Maz Duur's shadow-binding ritual in AGOT and during the repeated resurrections of Berric Dondarrion in ASOS. I further suggest that the Others are ghosts, the spirits of souls of the dead bound to the earth.
EDIT: edited several times to address formatting issues

He knows it but he'll still keep going back to these same two friends and they'll continously treat him like crap. I'm not actually convinced they want to be his friend but are not adult enough to tell him (and they're all in their late twenties).
The problem is they're all he has friend wise. He struggles to make friends (pretty sure he's autistic), and to be honest really does require a lot of patience when trying to get to know him.
But I've been with him two years and I've not got a single nice thing to say about either of his friends. And sadly, one is actually my cousin. I thought he was a decent person until I started to see this.
He gets left out of everything they do, they can invite a dozen people to an event and my boyfriend won't hear about it until after. Everytime he tries to plan something with them they're to busy or 'not interested in said idea', he'll then get ignored if asking what they want to do or asking when they're free.
But when asked about why or pulled up on their actions? They claim they don't do the planning for other things or he's not invited because a girl who used to constantly interfere with his life will be there (she is their friend which isn't an issue, while he was harsh to her about it, he's only asked that she leaves him alone). The way I see it if any of that was true they'd still arrange to do something with him, he's fine planning it.
We even invited them to a holiday park with us, accommodation for free. I earn the most out of everyone who was invited to I was happy to suggest they just pay for travel and food. Its been four months and despite asking we've still not had an official yes or no. We go in two weeks to obviously I'm assuming no.
I hate it because he sees all this and I watch his heart break everytime he realises they do not care about him. But since he just doesn't know if he'll make more friends after he just can't let them go.

He knows it but he'll still keep going back to these same two friends and they'll continously treat him like crap. I'm not actually convinced they want to be his friend but are not adult enough to tell him (and they're all in their late twenties).
The problem is they're all he has friend wise. He struggles to make friends (pretty sure he's autistic), and to be honest really does require a lot of patience when trying to get to know him.
But I've been with him two years and I've not got a single nice thing to say about either of his friends. And sadly, one is actually my cousin. I thought he was a decent person until I started to see this.
He gets left out of everything they do, they can invite a dozen people to an event and my boyfriend won't hear about it until after. Everytime he tries to plan something with them they're to busy or 'not interested in said idea', he'll then get ignored if asking what they want to do or asking when they're free.
But when asked about why or pulled up on their actions? They claim they don't do the planning for other things or he's not invited because a girl who used to constantly interfere with his life will be there (she is their friend which isn't an issue, while he was harsh to her about it, he's only asked that she leaves him alone). The way I see it if any of that was true they'd still arrange to do something with him, he's fine planning it.
We even invited them to a holiday park with us, accommodation for free. I earn the most out of everyone who was invited to I was happy to suggest they just pay for travel and food. Its been four months and despite asking we've still not had an official yes or no. We go in two weeks to obviously I'm assuming no.
I hate it because he sees all this and I watch his heart break everytime he realises they do not care about him. But since he just doesn't know if he'll make more friends after he just can't let them go.

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We’ve talked a lot about the internal work that must be done to heal and recover from the horrors of narcissistic abuse. But what often gets left out is that the internal work, while essential, is only half of the new circle you are drawing for your life. The other half of the circle can only be drawn in by making positive external improvements to your life situation.
If your life is NOT measurably worse now, you are financially where you want to be, you are healthy and fit, your career & activities are fulfilling you with purpose, you have great friends, and you are working on actionable goals to keep growing, then this post is not for you. Great job and carry on!
If your life is measurably worse now than it was during the ‘relationship’, then I highly recommend you think about this message:
Measurable, Practical Realities of Life: What Would Actually Make Your Life Better?
If your measurable, practical realities of daily life- finances, career, health/fitness, friendships, actionable goals for the future- are worse off after leaving the relationship, you MUST take action to improve all of them by taking disciplined action consistently over time, IF you actually want to heal and recover fully.
Don’t be a perfectionist or think you can magically change it overnight. But do get on a real road to making the changes that will earn positive outcomes for yourself. Learning how to love yourself means wanting your life to go well and improve! I know it’s weird to have to say that, but people recovering from codependency really need to strengthen this muscle of self-interested action. It was so strange to notice in myself that I didn’t even know what I wanted when another person was not around telling me what I should want. It took a real change of locus to become sovereign over my own life, my own choices, and to learn what it is that I would want for myself whether anyone else is around or not!
This can start by simply allowing yourself to meditate on what it is that you DO want for your life. Not everyone’s values are the same, so there is no right or wrong answer, only YOUR answer. I just know that living in substandard, impoverished or stressful financial conditions, being unhealthy and sedentary, and not having an exciting plan for your life is a condition that will make recovery and transformation close to impossible. You can only do the best you can today without unnecessary pressure or expectation. Just start by coming up with a plan for the immediate future and exert your will to make shit happen for yourself! I mean it. It’s crucial.
You can do all of the internal work in the world to process your emotions, try to let go of anger and process your grief. You are worthy of love and respect today as you are, because you a human being with a good heart who has been treated terribly and victimized by evil behavior from someone else. But if your life objectively sucks, then I wouldn’t expect to feel better anytime soon.
Your sense of confidence, self-worth, and ability to create new successes, new relationships, new memories, and a new life that has nothing to do with your past cannot develop if you are staying stuck in a bad living situation. Be realistic and compassionate with yourself, and allow the time necessary to see some progress, but do get moving.
The Good News!
As hard as it is doing the internal work of grief, acceptance, processing anger, unwinding your own codependent patterns and family history, the good news is that you don’t need to have ‘finished’ those before you start going into the outside world and making positive changes for yourself.
You can look at your external work as a nice break from all of those heavy, sad emotions. Realize that a lot of that anger and heartbreak and sadness will sort itself out when your external life situation improves to a degree that you are now objectively BETTER OFF than you were during the relationship. The real key to healing and transformation is this combination of internal growth and external measurable success. They feed off each other in positive-reinforcement. All the little successes you pile up day-by-day start building your confidence back up, you sense of pride in work well done, your sense of worth and optimism about the future- all of it develops when you can see evidence of improvement.
So if you are finding it slow going and frustrating on the emotional front, if you’re having more trouble letting go of that person or that relationship than you expected, I know it sucks and it can improve with time and dedication to healing. But you really have nothing to lose by STILL choosing to better the other parts of your life right? How would it make it worse if you made more money so that your financial stress disappeared? How would it make it worse if you set some real world goals with your career, work, or passion projects that would improve your life and achieved them? How would it make it worse if you jumped into a disciplined fitness program of your choosing and got in the best shape of your life in the next year? I think you get my drift. If things are really sucking in your life, the best part of that is that you have not much to lose by saying FUCK IT! and just going for it in other areas.
Bottom Line
This does NOT mean that one should neglect the inner spiritual, emotional, and maturation work. Money, success, and the external trappings of life do not bring happiness on their own. But they DO matter greatly, so we need to not lie about that or become too ethereal about all of this. I’m arguing for a healthy balance that gives attention to the outer reality of your life so that you don’t get lost in never-ending therapy, an old tired story from the past, and overindulging in victimhood.
When you find a good balance between doing the internal therapeutic work and the external outer world success, you have the magic formula for transforming your life. This will help you become a new version of yourself more aligned with your inner truth, your values, your talents and gifts, so that you become someone who knows how to stand up for yourself and take action in pursuit of positive outcomes.
Letting go of anger is one of the most challenging parts I’ve found people have with the healing process. They can completely get over caring about the person, see the cold hard truth, and cut them off completely. But the anger and resentment really does burn people up inside, even years afterward, if they haven’t moved the needle on their own life. It is amazing how making your life better and succeeding in areas you used to fail in can make your anger seem unnecessary and irrelevant. Why? Because now you are stronger. You’ve built something admirable and successful for yourself and you don’t need anyone’s approval but your own and the support of those who truly care about you.
When you can sit back one day in the not-too-distant future and honestly say, ”By all measures, my life is leaps and bounds better today than it was back then,” you can tell me at that point how you are feeling emotionally and how much trouble you’re having moving forward.
Note: Just as people get themselves professional help for mental health/emotional issues, it can very wise to find a qualified person who can help you get going with your practical life issues if that is an area where you have struggled to pull it together. There are also tons of free information out there about this, so you can do your own research and find some good strategies.

TLDR: Im planning to leave my religious and semi controling home and my religious image that comes with it. I know for a fact that talking will not be an option as my dad will oppose it and probably be very heartbroken. I cant live in a lie of practicing my religion when I dont believe in it. I want to be independent as well. Leaving is the only option. I love them so much but it feel it has to be done.
Has anyone been through this?
Hi, Im 26M. Recently, I have had a event that change my perspective on religion and religious views. It was terrible and very destructive. It had brought so much pain and few months back was the climax that changed it all. I do not want to keep my current religious image. But I cant remove or change my image at my home because my father is religious and I dont want to break his heart. I respect my father too much and I know he will never agree with what I am going to do but I want to live my life.
I plan to leave my home and never come back ever, or at least until my dad allows me. I doubt that will ever happened. My whole life he has been so strict about religion and teachings and so engrossed in the idea. I on the other hand always question it and dispised the strict rules imposed on me by my dad and religion, personally I have seen the bad and good but theres more bad then good. I am passed my limit and I cant take it anymore. I have lived with them my entire life but feel like Im in shackles, I want to break free from this.
I love my father and mother so much, to the core. I have always tried to be the model son that they want, great grades, top university in my country, good paying job, I respected them, took care of them, help them financially when I could. The have raised me well, they have sacrificed for me, they have struggled for me, Im so thankful and I try my best to repay them by working very hard and achieving their expectations. I did my best. They did their best.
Now, I have made a decision to leave, potentially for good. I might never get to see them again after I change my image as I might give my dad a heart attack for what Im about to do. I have a car loan to clear off and I am very close to clearing it off, which will give me extra funds to pay for rent and I already have emergency funds ready. I will probably be ready to move out by the end of the year. I cannot tell them I am leaving because they will convince me to stay or it will break my heart to leave. I forgot to mention that I have a younger sister who is married with no kids, so she can probably take over my duties of taking care of my parents. I will provide monetary funds to my parents month just to help them a little.
Im thankful for my parents, I love them to bits. I may not have the perfect family but its the best family I could ask for. If I ever get to repeat this lifetime I wouldnt change a thing because they are perfect to me. But my time has come, I need my freedom, I want to live my life. Im sorry if I disappointed them. I hope they find it in their heart to forgive me for what I am about to do.