Chest pain and back ache and stomach when coughing | | TransVoice: Share, Constructively Criticize, and Have fun!

hi in early march 2018 i had spontaneous pneumothorax on my left side , but it was not treated until april 3 because doctors misdiagnosed as bronchitis twice until my mom demanded a chest x-ray. i was given a chest tube at the time. my doctor believed it may have been caused by me getting jumped at school in late january, but nothing was confirmed of course. i was 16 at the time and only 100lbs, 5’1 so no surgeon in my city wanted to do it except one at a children’s hospital an hour away. she ended up being called into a different surgery so an ER doctor did it instead.
after that ive had 3 “scares” where i felt the same pain in the same spot and experienced shortness of breath. my left side usually hurts 2-3 days a week in the same spot. if the air quality is worse then it’s 4-5 a week. i’ve gotten used to it. last year i was referred to a pulmonologist who found nothing wrong on the affected side. he said when the tube was put in they may have struck a spinal nerve. they did find a congenital pulmonary arteriovenous shunt on my right lung, but said there was nothing to do at the time.
today my right lung has been hurting terribly. feels like a stabbing pain in the front every time i breathe. when my left collapsed i had the stabbing pain in my back.
just wondering if this is the experience of anyone else? the only other person i know who’s had a pnuemo is a doctor who said he has never had continuing pain afterwards. sometimes i just feel hopeless as its been so long with this pain. i’m only 22 and it feels overwhelming imaging having this forever. i do not want to get a second opinion because it’s terribly expensive. thank you!

I've been smoking for 5 years since 8th grade summer and now I'm 18 l got really addicted to it. Our smoke every day even when I felt like I wasn't high I would smoke take hella hits and blinkers then out of nowhere 2 times where when I would smoke my heart would starting beating fast and I would get scared then a couple days later it went away and I would be back to smoking then a year later I smoked my stizzy I was playing madden then out of nowhere my heart started beating I felt nauseous and my chest was tight thought I was going to die like my body felt weird when this was happening idk how explain it I got checked up and the doctors asked me if I like smoked. I should've said yeah but I said no. Then I got a EKG and then I got a iv and they said everything was fine in the EKG Then I fell asleep and then I woke up and I was still really dizzy/nauseous and felt unbalanced, and then my heart would like beat fast and sharp pain when I would walk when I got out of the bed then when I got out the hospital, my heart was just like be pounding and I would teel it and weeks went by no matter what I did I still felt nauseous, dizzy unbalanced and my heart still beating and tightening sharp pain and then I tried to smoke, and then I felt the same way that my heart was beating out of my chest and no matter what activity I would do like walk for at least like two minutes my heart will start beating out of it, my chest like in the activity I would feel like that even if it's light even going up my stairs and I was a pretty active guy I did sports played with my friends for hours running around went to the gym like even when I eat food, my heart would just start beating fast then I went to go see another doctor and they told me that I had to stop playing my sport and to go see a cardiologist but I continue to play, but didn't feel comfortable, but push through it there would be times that I didn't feel good so I went to the hospital and got another EKG and they still said it was good. I think I went twice actually and said it was good I think I went twice actually and said it was good. Then I continue to play, but when it happened, I just try not to think about it. And I haven't been to the cardiologist. And now after my season was over, I was scared to do anything so I would just be inside of my house all day and I do anything and then I gained a lot of weight. But then a couple months later I tried to go out but still felt the same and then a couple months went by. I was kind of starting to feel better started going to the gym going out, but my workouts weren't as long or I wasn't going as hard as I used to whenever played I played outside with my friends. I would just chill for a little and then go back to playing. Now it's been a year and I still feel the same but kind of better I wish everything can go back to normal but I do need to go to the cardiologist I will go soon. this happening to me brought me to a depression I wish everything can go back to normal and I wish I never started smoking weed hope I made sense this story all over the place and probably forgot some stuff

Is it normal to experience SO much pain after a new crown placement?
This past month has been HELL with my lower back molar. Long story short I had a filling fall off which caused some pretty intensive nerve pain for which I was written a script for amoxicillin + scheduled for a crown. I got the crown done and the temporary fell off twice. After the second time it fell off, they had just got my permanent crown into the office so they put the permanent in the same day. When the temp fell off the second time, I had a lot of pain with it that only seemed to be resolved by me putting the temp back on, which resulted in a lot of touching of that shaved down tooth. Its been about 5 days since the permanent went in. The first few days were perfectly fine, but on day 4 I began to feel an achey pain. Today (day 5) I have been in severe aching pain. I’ve taken in total about 2g ibuprofen + 1g acetaminophen and nothing is helping. I’m writhing in toothache pain.
My question is could this be another infection? or is this type of pain normal after crown placement especially with all the trauma that tooth has been through. Is it normal for the pain after a permanent crown placement to be achey and radiating across my jaw/chin and even to the upper tooth?
I will be going to the dentist tomorrow to see if they can do an adjustment, but the pain today is simple unbearable and I can’t imagine this much longer

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRA-lanadelcray posting in relationship_advice
Inconclusive
**Mood Spoiler -*\*shes is now single
1 update - Medium
Original - 21st April 2024
Update1 - 22nd April 2024

1 New Update
Thanks to u/Various_Possible_527, u/-trout, u/keiciii and u/TeddyBearT800
for pointing out the new update

Update2 in the same post - 27th April 2024

I (25f) kissed another man when I was drunk. Should I tell my boyfriend? (28m)

This past Friday my friend threw a huge party for her 26th birthday, it wasn't a particularly significant birthday but her father always indulges all her requests and her parties are always one of the highlights of the year.
This year she was inspired after watching The Fall of the House of Usher on Netlfix and wanted to throw a party in an abandoned building and her father made it happen. I wasn't too involved with the planning this year because work kept me busy so when I first heard the idea I was skeptical but she pulled it off spectacularly.
A little backstory on my boyfriend and I, we met at uni when I was 18 and had been close friends, slightly lost contact when we graduated and I got engaged, my fiance died when I was 22 and he was great support to me during that time and after that since he moved to a city 4 hours away we'd only exchange the occasional text. Well, until Feb of this year when we both got slightly pissed at a another party and slept together. He asked me out after that and we slowly transitioned into a relationship.
Anyway moving on, I woke up today with vague memories of what had happened the night before but my body felt...wrong. I know I got insanely drunk and stupidly said yes when I was offered ecstasy. I've only ever smoked weed in the past and that was during uni, the UK is very strict about drug usage and my job requires a pretty intense background check, even being in the vicinity of substances might get me fired.
At the party I hung about with my friends towards the beginning of the night but I turn into a social butterfly when I'm drunk and I wandered off and ended up chatting to a friend of a friend I barely knew. He was quite flirty and I remember mentioning pretty early on that I had a boyfriend and he said he was just 'bantering', now I can't remember who initiated it but I remember kissing him. I don't for how long but it felt pretty intense.
After beating myself up and having a shower I asked any of friends if they had witnessed anything and one of them said she was the one who has dragged me away from the other guy after seeing me making out with him. She said as she grabbed me she could tell I was ridiculously drunk and had no idea what I was doing and took care of me the rest of the night.
She had chosen not to say anything to me if I didn't remember since it was just a drunken mistake and my other friends agree with her. They said it's not worth blowing up my relationship with something like this since it doesn't mean anything and I barely remember what happened. She told me nobody else saw since we were in quite a secluded corner and this secret would stay in between us but I'm not sure how to proceed.
He texted me this morning asking how I was and hoping I had a nice time and if my friend liked her present since he helped me shop for it and I haven't been able to reply to him. I've got no words until I sort out what I'm going to do.
I know these girls would never tell a soul what happened but the guilt is killing me. I don't know how I'm going to face my boyfriend the next time I see him even if I choose not tell him.
And if I do then how do I deal with everything if he chooses to leave? I know I'll never do anything like this again because I'll never let myself be put in such a mindless state but would it be absolutely horrible of me if I choose to just move on from this without telling him? I need objective advice because I know my friends are always going to try and protect and help me. I know I exhibited supreme lack of judgement and would not mind any criticism but don't slutshame please.

Comments

OperatorValueson
Tell him and accept the repercussions as the cost of this mistake. There is no way out of it. Learn from this and grow as a person.

OOP: I think this was definitely the wake-up call I needed about how I'm living my life

Gatorman042755
You think your secret will be safe with your friends, but this kind of thing always gets out eventually. So, you have a choice between the following:
Coming clean with your bf now, confessing your mistake and promising never to get that sh\t faced again, and because you're being forthcoming, honest, and regretful, having the possibility that he will eventually forgive you, and maybe save your relationship.*
Having him find out a month, 6 months, or a year down the road. At that point he will know that you hid it from him, lied by omission, and have a hard time proving and documenting what actually happened. He will never forgive you or trust you again if he finds out about it this way, and it is almost certainly a death knell for your relationship.

OOP: The possibility of him not forgiving me is what is terrifying to me but you're completely right about it being worse if he finds out down the road. I don't think there's going to be a magical perfect outcome for me here

Update - 1 day later

Thank you everyone for the advice left, especially the comments calling out my behaviour. While they initially stung, you made me see the way I was trying to justify what I did instead of taking accountability. I got a dozen messages from people who had been in my boyfriend's position before and I want to apologise if my post was triggering in any way. So I listened to the majority and told my boyfriend.
I texted my boyfriend that I missed him a lot and he said that he could drive down and stay for a couple of days since he could work remotely if he wanted to but I don't have that option. He basically left as soon as I asked him to and it takes him about four hours to reach my city in which I had enough time to get the full story of that night.
I asked a friend of mine if he could find out from the guy what happened without making it obvious I was asking and he agreed, I asked him to call me when he did so me and my friends could listen in. I wanted to know exactly what he said so I knew what to tell my boyfriend.
My friend is closer to the guy than I am and they game together so him going over to his flat wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Initially he was worried that he wasn't a 'good actor' but I told him exactly how to bring it up and he did pretty well tbf.
He said he had seen me and him kissing and asked what was going on. The other guy laughed the whole thing off, saying he didn't think I'd be such a slag and that my friend was a 'c*nt' for dragging me away. My friend said the situation was pretty fucked now since I had a boyfriend and the other guy said if I didn't want him to kiss me then I shouldn't have hung around him all night but my friends told me I wasn't around him for more than 20 minutes in total.
At least now I know I'm not the one who initiated the kiss and he was much more sober than me since he recalled things I had no recollection of saying. In my previous post I said I remembered mentioning my boyfriend and he said that too so I am trusting the little memories I have of that night. A couple people messaged me saying I had been taken advantage of but I honestly can't say that since I did kiss him back. That is a huge accusation to make and I can't remember enough even say that.
Everything that guy said just confirmed to me that I needed to tell my boyfriend. I am furious with him for the way he talked about my friend and I but I'm not going to waste anymore time on him.
While my boyfriend was driving down I texted him that I needed to talk to him about something important as soon as he got here so I wouldn't chicken out. I live with two of my girlfriends and they cleared out until I had talked to him so I had no excuses. He looked so worried when he arrived, I think he thought I was going to break up with him since I was crying as well. He was being so unbelievably sweet and hugged me tightly and said he wanted to work it out and just wanted me to talk to him.
So I sat him down and told him not to interrupt me and to let me finish. I told him everything, taking ecstasy, kissing another guy and waking up not remembering anything, I even told him that I contemplated not telling him anything, what the guy said on the phone. Absolutely everything.
He was holding my hand tightly in the beginning and by the end of it he had his head in his hands as he listened to me finish. He just sat there in the end and stared at the floor. I knew I needed to give him time but I don't know how long we both just stared into space. I had no clue what he was thinking. I would've preferred if he just yelled so we could atleast talk, I wanted to shake him into saying anything.
When he finally spoke, his voice sounded soft and hurt. He asked me if I actually did want to see him or if I made him drive four hours just so I could tell him I kissed someone else. I said I did miss him but knew I needed to tell him what had happened and didn't want to do it on the phone.
I told him that I wanted to take full accountability and that as drunk or high as I was that was no excuse and I was so very sorry for hurting him this way. After this I know I can't trust myself to drink in a responsible way and that I'm going to cut back on it. I've planned to go fully sober for one month just so I know I can and that nothing like this happens again.
He replied that this had just confirmed every insecure thought he had about our relationship. He said he always felt like I had one foot out the door and that he had pressured me into this relationship and maybe what I did was a way getting out of it. I said it was a drunken mistake and it didn't mean anything further. He said it meant he loved me but I didn't love him and had this been any other girl in his past he would've been out the door but he couldn't do that with me just yet.
And I couldn't fight him on that. I couldn't say I loved him right now, I cared for him alot and I could see myself being in love with him in the future but I'm not there right now. I haven't been in a relationship since my fiance and it's been difficult for me to open up my heart to someone else. I'm terrified of being left by someone else I love.
I asked him if he could see himself ever forgiving me and he said that he didn't know right now. I know I'm not the victim here but hearing that was so painful I just started sobbing and being the amazing man that he is, he comforted me and I felt so disgusted with myself for hurting him. He held me against his chest, stroked my hair and let me cry it out.
And then he left, saying he was going to get a hotel and come back tomorrow so we could talk when we're not so emotional and after he decided what he wanted moving forward. I told him he could stay in my room and I'd sleep on the sofa but he said he didn't think he could be around me right now and make a rational decision.
Right now I'm fighting to urge to go to him and make him stay any way I can. I know there's no magical words that'll fix this. Also has anyone ever been through anything like this and how did you and your partner worked past it?

Comments

Independent-Library6
Had him drive 4 hours so you could tell him you cheated, lol. Jesus, you're insufferable.
lookingforpc
Harsh, you know she did it in goodwill in a panicked state, but I'll admit it must not have helped the situation

WominjekatoNaarm
Guess who is currently on his way home right now. OP. It'll be a miracle if you ever hear from him again. You might want to check your socials and see if he is still on there. If he isn't, he won't be coming back.

Update 2
Sorry I forgot to update this but this past week has been pretty shit. I wrote down everything that happened but wasn't in the mood to post it until today.
My boyfriend came back the next day and his demeanour had completely changed. I tried to hug him and he side stepped me and asked if we could go on a walk to talk since he didn't need my friends as an audience.
Before he could speak I apologised again and promised to do whatever to make it up to him and he said I didn't need to do that. He said he thought about it all night and came to the conclusion that we never should've started dating no matter how in love he was. That the conception of our relationship was from me being drunk and sleeping with him and that he should've treated it like a mistake rather than the start of a relationship. He said he was tired of feeling like a second thought and apparently I made him feel that way.
I kept on saying I wanted to be with him even though I know he deserves better and that I knew what I was doing when we got together and in what circumstances did I make him feel like he didn't matter? He said he's seen me in relationships when I care and love the person and he didn't get any of that.
After my fiance died, he was the one that pushed me to go to therapy and I always refused since I didn't think I needed it and he brought that up as well and said my life would continue to be a mess and I would continue to hurt other people until I broke my destructive patterns and actually dealt with my emotions.
I just had no clue what to say. I admit I'm the one that fucked up but it's one fuck up, it's not always indicative of some larger problem. A mistake is a mistake sometimes.
He said he still loved me but knew carrying on with a relationship right now would cause more problems between us later down the line and he didn't want that. I told him I didn't understand, if he loved me how could he leave me? I still don't understand. He said just because we wouldn't be together didn't mean he'd disappear from my life. He said anything that happened between us right now would be tarnished and he wanted a relationship without guilt and that wouldn't be possible right now. I saw how painful it was for him to say all of that to me, I'd never seen him cry before.
He left after that since I couldn't talk to him anymore. I just felt so hurt and abandoned and then felt guilty for feeling like that since I was the one who fucked up and it was just a vicious cycle. He kissed me when he said goodbye and said he'll check up on me soon.
He texted me the next day, just asking how I was and I didn't know how to reply so I didn't. He still messages everyday, asking how I am and that he really wishes I would text back since he's worried about me. I cant find it in me to reply. I know he's asked my friends about me but they said he just seemed concerned about me.
I still can't believe he ended it.
The only positive is that I've not drank any alcohol in about a week and it's much more difficult than I initially anticipated but I'm going to carry on and try and finish a month.
I'll update if anything else changes but it probably won't

Comments

Longnumber (before the update)

Also has anyone ever been through anything like this and how did you and your partner worked past it?

Yeah, I'll share, but I don't think it will help you get back together.
I'm now mid 30s. I've been with my wife since we were 20. We were long distance off and on for the first years. We never really set clear boundaries on what was and wasn't over the line. Dancing with other people when we went out was never discussed although making out/anything approaching sex obviously was off limits. I would wingman with friends and talk/dance with girls but never let anything escalate. Felt like it was harmless fun.
One night 2 years into the relationship, I was very drunk and essentially got ditched at a party where I knew no one and with no way home except to wait for a ride that wouldn't be for over an hour. I thought, "fuck it, I'll meet people and dance". I ended up dancing with a girl which escalated into making out. She was talking about getting me back to her place. When we split to go to the bathroom, I sobered up, realized what I was doing and went outside and waited for my ride.
There were no witnesses, no way for me to ever get caught. But, I felt guilty. And, I knew with roles reversed, I would want my girlfriend to tell me. So, I told her. And said I realized that it was easy for dancing with other people to escalate so I'd cut it off.
She didn't like it, duh, but it wasn't even a fight. She asked for reassurance it wouldn't happen again and I gave it. Then we said "I love you" and had sex. We moved on. And, over a decade later, I haven't done anything else that approached cheating.
Factors that i think worked in our favor for getting over this that you may be :

I didn't blame being fucked up and gave a concrete plan for never repeating the mistake.
it was clear there was no way she could have found out without me telling her. No friends around.
we are both rational people and knew and had discussed being in love and getting together didn't mean no one else could be attractive
I gave verbal and physical reassurance and did not give "space" unless it was asked for.
I told her at a convenient time and did not make her drive 4 hours to hear my confession.
I didn't make her comfort me
we had already discussed being committed to each other and planning to spend our lives together. There was no question about whether I actually loved her or had "a foot out the door". I was able to tell her I loved her and mean it.

All in all, I think this is something you could get over if you were otherwise committed to this guy and if the story here is really the whole thing. But, bottom line, you couldn't tell him you loved him and mean it. I think it's over.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello to everyone who is reading this. I don't usually post anything online but Today i'm here because I feel lost. I can't see a clear path for me right now
It all started in February 2024, just enjoying life like a normal person would, I caught a cold, I thought it would be normal but surprise, here I am. So the first thing i noticed was that the mucus was very thick and sticky, never had anything like this happen to me before, with general antibiotics and some rest my cold went away, but nevertheless I was left with post nasal drip and a bit of a cough. I also noticed changes in my skin like acne.
I was back to normal except that I continued with post nasal drip and cough, dry cough which was escalating to the point of not letting me sleep in peace. I went to a general practitioner and he gave me amoxicillin and Acetylcysteine. Fortunately this cleared up my cough but I still had a postnasal drip.
My face got puffy, and my fingertips (mostly on my right hand) became swollen, no pain, I also started having other symptoms like numbness in my hands and feet (not all the time but more common when bending over or crouching).
So the summer of 2023 came and I set out to find out what was really going on with my body. I ran some lab tests, which were all normal.
So I decided to go to an ENT, he told me there must be some mucus that was left behind, so saline and fluticasone washes should be enough, which didn't fix anything, so I went to an internist.
He gave me fluticasone, antihistamines and antibiotics for sinusitis (Cefixime) Again, nothing changed. At this point my acne got so bad that I needed accutane to get my skin clear again. After my successful accutane course of five months I went again to the internal doctor and he ordered some labs. In this case the results were monocytes and eosinophils slightly elevated, as well as a nasal swab test, IgG and IgE.
Results for the test showed both IgG and IgE at normal values, but elevated eosinophils in the nose.
The med referred me to an infectologist which ordered other lab tests (Aspergillus,ANCA , p- ANCA, CT Sinus Scan and a nasal culture) This to look for vascular origin.
CT showed inflammation in maxillary ,ethmoidal and frontal sinus, some thickening of mucus . Aspergillus, ANCA and P-ANCA came back as negative.
Nasal culture showed Staph Aureus resistant to Vancomycin. Idk it if it was a coincidence or something but i got a boil in my right cheek at that time, i got an antiseptic and it went away after a couple of days
After a month I went back with the internal medic, he ordered an ANA test which I'm getting done next week.
Here I am, feeling like I have spent too much money over the course of a year without even being able to find out what I really have, without an answer so I can start treatment with symptoms that affect my quality of life as well as my overall self esteem. I avoid looking in the mirror because I look so different from what I once used to look like. I avoid going out to public places other than college, I am pursuing a STEM degree and it’s really too much stress in itself. I feel like a nuisance in my house, I don't even like going to the doctor because I know my dad will think it's all an exaggeration of me and because it's too expensive.
I would just like to have another chance, and I question myself why it happened. What did I do to deserve this? I take care of my health. I go to the gym, I don't smoke, I don't drink and I have big goals I want to achieve. I fear getting diagnosed with EGPA or wegener’s because my family doesn’t have the money at the moment for a treatment that expensive
I ask God everyday to help me get out of this.
If you read this, any kind of recommendation is appreciated.
Recent relevant labs

Left nose eosinophils : 27% in 0-5 range
Right nose eosinophils : 32% in 0-5 range
Nasal culture : Staph Aureus resistant to vancomycin and Clindamycin
CT scan : Inflammation in maxillary,ethmoidal and frontal sinus, clear and with presence of small mucus thickening

Current physical observations:

Puffy face and eye bags
Puffy hand fingertips(more noticeable in right hand)
Thick sticky mucus
Stuffy nose
Numbness when crouching or going to the restroom (peripheral neuropathy)
Inflammation across the body
Shortness of breath when running

Have a good day.

Something is following me. I swear I can hear them at night outside my tent. I went on this solo seven-day hike, and it wasn't until the third day that I noticed something amiss. When I woke and exited my tent, my small makeshift camp looked as if it had been ransacked, my supplies had been scattered, the small firepit I made had been destroyed as though a large beast had stepped on it. The scariest part was the footprints left behind; they were all over my camp. They circled the tent dozens of times and seemed to come to rest at the door before heading away into the woods.
I hadn't heard anything while I slept and assumed it was just some other hikers playing a trick on me. After I gathered my scattered supplies, I started back down the trail. The hike I was on was a remote and technically difficult hike that even the most seasoned hikers would have trouble accomplishing.
Which is what made me confused; why would experienced hikers do something like that to my camp? Most hikers took this sport seriously; ruining supplies could be a quick way to dying from exposure.
That day I hiked long and far, taking switchbacks and pausing for minutes at a time to watch the trail behind me. The mountain was empty; I even removed some of my footprints in the dirt hoping to make it harder to track me.
That night, I packed all my supplies in my tent and waited. Certain that no one would have been able to follow me. I gripped my flashlight in one hand and lay down in my sleeping bag waiting, waiting for a sound or a noise out of the normal sounds of the world.
That's when I heard it, a twig snapping, a rustle of a bush, a rock being kicked and rolling across the ground. Tension shot through my body and I froze, unable to move. My original plan was to rip open the tent door and shine the light in my would-be stalker's face, but the sounds I heard made me lock up.
This wasn't the sound of humans; I saw no lights, and heard no boots. Instead, it was the shuffle of something bestial, a large bear, or a wolf pack.
Instantly the sounds grew closer and I thought it had to be more than one animal, circling the tent, pawing at the ground, breathing heavy and hoarse. A small sound coming from the back of a throat that sounded like a throaty, demented version of a laugh. "Hyuk hyuk" was the noise they made as they circled the tent, never coming close enough to touch or even graze it.
Fear struck me hard and fast, and my first reaction was to curl up in my sleeping bag, as if hiding from the world was the ultimate defense. Like a little kid defending himself from the monsters under the bed. Now I protected myself from the monsters outside my tent.
The motion outside the tent exploded as the pace increased; the demented laughing was now coming from all sides and I covered my ears trying to block out the noise before it drove me mad.
Then like a breeze in the wind, they were gone. The sounds slipped away into the night and the torment stopped. My breath fell from my chest in what felt like minutes. I was terrified, and rightly so. Being alone on this mountain was always a bad idea; hikers went missing here all the time. I had just assumed they were inexperienced and got lost but now I knew it was something more, something terrifyingly real.
I didn't sleep that night; I just lay awake unable to leave the tent for fear of their return. For the fear that they were waiting out there quietly for me to slip up and leave.
When dawn's rays crested the hill to the east and bathed my tent in God's eternal light, I prayed for the first time in years. Normally I'm not one for religious zealotry, but I fell to my knees in that morning light and begged with tears in my eyes for any of the gods to save me. To take me from this mountain but nothing responded to my desperate plea. Now I felt truly alone.
The camp was a mess; the ground was torn up by dozens of odd footprints. They overlapped so much that I couldn't get an accurate shape to one, but they were deep prints indicating weight.
"Larger than a dog at least," I said to myself as I traced my fingers in one of the prints.
I glanced around the camp and saw the prints leading off back down the mountain, the way I had come. I was already more than halfway through the hike and it would take longer to go back the way I had come. Once I reached the peak I could make my way down the opposite side and to the parking lot where my truck was. By my calculation, it was around three more days, two more nights. I could make it.
I hiked hard and fast that day and made great time. The mountain ended in a plateau and I rested for only a moment. Normally I would spend the day at the top, find a nice place to camp, and bask in the world from my seat up high. Today I left instantly, glancing only for moments to check my path. I could see my truck far below in the parking lot. The way down was a rocky path that normally I wouldn't attempt but this was an emergency.
The sun was getting low, and I needed to find a place to camp. As I reached the edge of the woods I paused watching the sun as it fell faster and faster. A small clearing lay out before me full of long grass. To my back were tall sturdy trees with lots of branches in odd angles, like they were protecting me from the beasts that lurk behind me.
I decided to set up my tent in the clearing, a few feet from the trees, next to a fallen tree with its large mass of roots exposed to the night sky.
I kept looking over my shoulder as I worked, knowing these creatures only came at night. Sweat beaded down my neck and I took a moment when I was done to drink and eat quickly from my pack. I gathered a large amount of wood from the trees and used some of my emergency lighter fluid to start a large cooking fire outside the tent. With enough wood to burn for hours.
An idea struck me while I ate and watched the trees. Taking my flashlight and gear I made for the trees and climbed high up. Among the branches, I found a secure spot where I could sit comfortably and better yet where I could watch my tent.
For an hour I sat in terrified silence, my heart beating out of my chest as I tried to calm myself. Maybe they wouldn't come tonight, maybe I had made it far enough away they wouldn't be able to find me.
That's when the noise started, a twig snapping, the rustle of a bush behind me, the careful steps of something coming closer and closer. I hugged tightly to the tree keeping myself hidden from sight below.
My eye was on my tent, making sure that whatever was doing this to me. Tonight I would see them in the firelight of my camp below.
The grass below my perch was now covered in darkness, but I could hear something moving in the grass. I held my breath hoping to avoid detection. The creatures moved past me with no hesitation.
I watched as shadows moved in the darkness below, too many of them to count in the poor light. They surrounded the tent and fire, silent as they moved. When one of them made that same noise from the back of their throat. "Hyuk hyuk" it went and as if on signal, the campfire was scattered, lit logs rolled and flew away as if something had swatted it with a giant hand. I could see bits of brown fur in the descending firelight. A large muscular paw, a hind leg. All covered in the same brown fur. Once the dark fell, they began their pacing, tearing up the ground around the camp. Their back of the throat laughing and I could hear my tent tearing. Deep growls of inhuman noise and heavy breathing for hours. They never left; they searched the same ground over and over again as if blind until an hour before dawn they quietly slunk away back up the mountain towards the peak.
I hadn't slept at all again and was feeling exhausted. My legs felt weak, and I slid down the last few feet of the tree landing hard on my back.
I lay there breathing heavy as the sun from the morning sun bathed me in warm life-saving light. My tent had been shredded to pieces and I now had no doubt in my mind that they were hunting me. Blood was on the ground beside the fire where it looked like something had happened. Maybe the creatures had a fight amongst themselves during the night.
I sighed examining my tent, dropping the piece of it I held, I turned and made my way down the rocky trail. Gone were the lush trees and long grass of the peak and once more I plunged into the rocky and steep trail to the base.
The trail was slow-going as I climbed down rock faces and had to backtrack several times to find a different path down. I could not spend one more night in this place; far below I could see my old red pickup in the parking lot. Within my vision but still so far away, if I had a base jumping kit, I could be down there in minutes instead of hours.
At various spots, I had to anchor with ropes that had been placed by previous climbers. I praised them and their families with good fortune as this put a large distance between me and the beasts.
I traveled through the day and resolved myself to continue through the night, with no tent or cover I would be torn to shreds by the beasts.
As the sun began to set, I doubled my pace, I knew somewhere along here was the rappel site. A place with hundreds of feet of strong rope for you to descend the final drop. After that is a short five-minute walk to the truck.
I couldn't find the rappel spot, I knew it had to be around here somewhere but I seemed to be lost, I had seen the rappel spot from my truck but now that I was on the mountain, I could have missed it in the dusk's light.
I knew I had to backtrack slightly and made my way back up the mountain. Fear struck me again knowing the beasts were coming.
As I climbed, I saw a bright green rope hanging from a series of anchors in the rock. I attached my harness and walked backward off the rock. This is something I had done dozens of times and I made good time. Halfway down I rested for a moment as the sun set behind me. That's when I felt it, something pulling on the rope above.
It jerked and began swinging side to side. I dropped slightly before I felt something pulling me back up the mountain. I began to rappel with increased fervor and dropped down the mountain faster than I ever had before. I reached the bottom but noticed the rope had shortened around twenty feet and was slowly getting higher. The ground below was rocky and rough but I had no choice. I unclipped myself from the line and dropped quickly to the ground.
I landed awkwardly on a stone with my left leg and felt my ankle twist awkwardly. I screamed out in pain as my leg burned.
Despite this, I smiled, I had escaped. The beasts weren't going to catch me now. I could see my red pickup truck down the hill and rose to my feet.
The pain was intense but I kept going knowing this was my only chance. Behind me, I heard the impossible, the sound of rocks being scattered as something heavy landed. I dared not glance over my shoulder but doubled my pace.
I could hear heavy breathing and movement behind me, a small glade of young trees lay directly in front of me and I ducked into the thin branches for any sort of cover from the relentless pursuer.
"Hyuk hyuk" came from behind me, and I froze, letting the foliage cover my body from sight. I barely dared to breathe as I heard the branches snapping around me; I could smell the foul breath of the beast as I crouched in a thin shield of branches and foliage, a poor armor indeed.
Heavy breathing came closer and closer to me until it was right beside my ear. The back of the throat laugh came out right beside my ear, making fear shoot up my spine paralyzing me to the spot.
This was it, the end. Whatever this creature was it was going to kill me. I chanced a glance in its direction and stared right into its repulsive face. It bore a resemblance to a shaved wolf with its skin pulled back, a large mouth filled with rows of dangerously sharp teeth, and a large brown nose like a dog's. Saliva dripped from its open mouth as it breathed in air in ragged breathes.
The oddest part was its eyes, they were all white and filled with clouds. Almost as if the creature was blind. I sat perfectly still as the creature was within feet of me. It had a hunched back almost human but it moved on all fours like an animal. The creature smelled at the air briefly before growling and moving away through the foliage. Making the hyuk hyuk sound as it left as if it were mocking my fear of it.
The creature couldn't see; I assumed it reacted to movement, sound, or smell. Perhaps all three.
As the creature moved away, I quietly limped in the opposite direction towards my truck. Finally, I was in the parking lot and into my truck. I locked the doors behind me and lay down on the seat, breathing for a moment. Planning my next move, with a jerk, I started the truck and my old faithful girl turned on in a single stroke.
I flicked on my headlights as my heart stopped. In front of my truck was a dozen or so of the beasts, all crouched over, their eyes a milky pale unseeing. As my headlights hit their eyes, the beasts changed. They covered their eyes in pain and I put the truck into drive. As I stepped on the gas, I realized my mistake, the fire that one night in the tree. The way they attacked it. With a smash, I felt one of them ram into my tailgate. I sped off down the road, swerving to avoid them.
In my rearview mirror, I could see them chasing me down the dark mountain road and I sped up keeping ahead of them. My ankle throbbed painfully but I felt nothing as my adrenaline peaked again and again as my fear warped into new things by the moment.
The last thing I saw was their pale eyes in the darkness as I turned the corner onto the highway, by the time I saw other cars and people I knew I was safe I drove nonstop for hours until I made it back to my place. The sun was just about to set as I locked the door behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief and poured myself a glass of scotch to calm my nerves.
I fell against my bed and took a sip of my drink before I lay back in the blankets, exhausted from my flight and the creatures chasing me. I fell asleep in minutes.
I woke in the middle of the night to something outside my house; it sounded like something rubbing up against my front door. My heart froze as I thought of what could be out there, a slight knocking at the door, just loud enough for me to hear before a sound that chilled me to my bones. A deep laugh coming from the back of someone's throat. "Hyuk hyuk" it went.

https://streamable.com/1v14r6
So this is the only person i recorded. prior to me turning on the camera i asked this veteran if he had any pain in his body and he said yes. So I asked if i could pray and record but i wouldn’t record his face to make him more comfortable.
This is my second day praying for people and I was just going around asking people if they had any pain in their bodies. On the first day I only found 2 people with pain they both said they had a pain level of 4/10 in the neck area and after I prayed for them it was a 0.
For the people I didn’t see healing I’m not sure if it something on my end (lacking faith?) or if there is something more spiritual that I need to address. I’m still young and learning. Only 26 years old and would like a healing and deliverance ministry some day
The 2 I know for sure that didn’t get healed (at the moment instantly) were 1.) A young man maybe Muslim who had a pain of 3/10 in his hand I prayed for twice but it didn’t go away 2.) A older Christian lady who said her husband was a minister, she was in an accident and had Surgery in her arm that was causing a lot of pain. I prayed like 3 times and pain was still there (she asked my not to touch helay hands) so not sure if that had anything to do with it but she said it kinda felt looser. 3.) the rest of the people had some cancers or various diseases that weren’t causing pain at the moment and couldn’t test
My favorite reaction was a lady maybe in her 30’s I asked her if she or her husband had any pain but they both said no, so I said ok well i have been praying for like 7 people so far and they all got healed instantly. At that moment she got a look of curiosity. So I asked her again if If she had any pain or discomfort in her body and she said that she actually had pain in her ankle that was like a 7/10. So I laid my hands on the ankle and prayed for her, while I was praying she said she felt a lot of heat (looked like it was through her whole body) then I asked her to test it out and put some weight on it and she did. She was like “it’s gone, what did you do? Is that magic trick?” Then she checked my hands if I had anything. I just told her that I didn’t do anything. I just prayed for you and Jesus healed you because he loves you.
My second favorite reaction was, 3 young guys (high school age) walking and I asked them if any of them had any pain and 1 of them said yes he had pain in his shoulder area that he got from the gym bench pressing weights. I asked what the pain level was and he said “hella bad” when he turned his neck and when he turned his neck to the left it was like a 8/10. So I said I pray for people and pain leaves instantly and if it was okay. He said sure. So I asked where most of the pain was and he showed me so I put my hands on it and prayed and after praying I asked him to test it out, and he started laughing and saying “it’s gone” and something like “(his friends name) yo it’s fully gone I’m not playing bro, what the heck” then I asked him how that happened and he didn’t know and he said he was Muslim. So I told him that Jesus is real and the Bible is true and this was him knocking on his heart because he want you know him.
Another lady said she had knee pains sometime, something wrong with her knee caps. She said it was okay for me to pray over her so I did, then I asked her to test it and and see if it feels different and she did a squat and she said wow normally when i do that my knee clicked and it didn’t that time. She looked very happy and then I asked her if got anything like anxiety attack or panic attacks (the whole day I didn’t ask anyone else this and I don’t know why I asked her) and she said she got those both, so I asked if I can pray for that and she said go ahead, I told her that I have never prayed for something like this so idk if anything will happen, I commanded anxiety and panic attacks to leave in Jesus name and never come back. Then after my short prayer she said she felt something lift off her shoulders. And she looked very happy and thankful and I told her that it was Jesus that did that.
The rest of the healing were pains in elderly and young people pains in knees and backs what have you but most people aren’t that shocked about it even though it’s supernatural healing. They are happy though. I asked over 40 people if they had pain and most said no and treated me like those shoe guys in the mall trying to sell you something, but I’m trying to be as respectful as possible
My background I was born in a extreme Pentecostal Christian household and because of it I hated church and god, but this year after watching a lot of Near death experiences I decided it was time to get right with god. So I fully became a born again Christian less than 2 months ago and been wanting more of Jesus ever since. Still a Pentecostal but I don’t speak in tongues yet
I’m not claiming to be some special Christian with healing gifts. I’m just trying to do what Jesus sent us out to do. I believe if your name is written in the book of life then your a child of god and have the Holy Spirit in you at the point of salvation and you have all authority over sickness and disease so when you speak with authority and fair Jesus/Holy Spirit will come through and heal the sick
Mark 16:16-18 ESV Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. [17] And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; [18] they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover."
I would like to start recording my interactions but don’t know how to do it without being intimidating. Any tips? I have a GoPro 13 and a chest mount that I would like to use maybe having it point down until I ask if it’s okay to film for teaching purposes.
I will answer any questions you guys have, I’m also a really big introvert and actually the first time I went out I was way to scared to ask if I can pray for people so I chickened out. I’m in Seattle area. Most of the time I pray for people I don’t feel anything and my mind tells me it’s not working but you need to tell your mind to shut up, and sometimes I feel heat (feels like a heating pad under your hand got turned on in the area where I lay my hands)
Here’s who my “mentor” is Tom loud and I follow his steps to healing. And try to duplicate his prayer words. His church has a monthly healing service, check that out if you need healing they are in Shoreline, Washington https://youtube.com/@TomLoudMiracles?si=Gxv_nKnidH8IrP-b
And also another healing channel I follow https://youtube.com/@ThomasFischer1964?si=rYd2Fxp1bWJz1a1-

Hello! I was on the combo pill for 5.5 years and I recently went off 2 months ago!! Here is some of hm experience so far
Pros:

no more spotting between periods
blood pressure went down significantly
im able to be more empathetic ?? i swear on BC i was very apathetic for some reason
libido has increased
energy has increased
the fog lifting thing and feeling more alive when you go off is REAL omg
i swear my anxiety isn’t as bad overall
my appetite has decreased, on BC i had a huge appetite which lead to mild weight gain
i find that i have more interest in things again, i feel more like myself in a lot of ways

Cons

my back and chest broke out like CRAZY. panoxyl and salycilic acid have been helping
i get random mood swings sometimes but they’re manageable
my PMDD is back but not as bad as before
my hair was SOOOO oily for a few weeks but it’s back to normal now i think
headaches for 2 weeks straight but they’re gone now
i get cramps for a week straight before my period ?? but hardly any cramps during my actual period ??

Hasn’t changed:

my periods have not gotten worse surprisingly. before BC i had extremely painful and heavy periods. on BC my withdrawal bleeds were more moderate bleeding and hardly any cramps. since going off, my periods are the same as when i was on the pill
i haven’t had any acne on my face, although this month i have a few pimples but think it’s because im on my period

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! ☺️

its been a little over a year, but the pain never seems to get easier. i get this overwhelming feeling of dread when i think about the fact that i will never see her again. it almost always doesn’t feel real until it does. then it’s a pit in my stomach that feels like im on a rollercoaster dropping 200ft. i try not to think about it, but it always lingers in the back of my mind. it hits hardest when i meet new people and they ask me if i have any siblings. i always just say no. for a split second, im back to that realization that she no longer exists and i will never see her again. it hurts saying that i don’t have a sibling because i did, i had a wonderfully amazing sister for 22 years. but i also never love bringing up the fact that i lost my sister either. “no” just seems easiest but hurts the most. i miss her with every fiber of my being. every single day. every single day, i miss her so so so much.

Hi y’all. I was recently in the hospital for unrelated issues and decided to go through my old charts while there bored.
I was reading about a CT scan I had back in December (for an unrelated issue) but noticed they put a diagnosis of “Chronic bilateral L5 pars fracture with grade 1 anterolisthesis L5-S1” on my CT report.
I am a 25 year old female and I had no idea this was going on nor did they mention it to me at all, so I’m here feeling very lost and confused. To my understanding this is isthmic spondylolisthesis?
I don’t really have lower back pain usually like that, at least not to where i’d think it was anything other than like normal pain and body aches. I have more upper back/neck issues from a car accident a good few years back if anything. Im not sure what to do with this information honestly. I am wondering if it’s even worth seeing a doctor or making an appointment for?
I don’t want to seem dramatic over it if I’m not in severe pain but i also don’t want to damage my body further… My research makes me think there’s not many options, and the options are for people actually hurting over this, which im not sure is my case.
I have other medical conditions like type one diabetes and just fall into that chronically ill category. I have and am very use to medical issues, but this im just clueless how to proceed after finding out this information.
Id just really like some advice and insite if anyone has any. I haven’t gotten to talk with a medical professional about this at all obviously since they failed to bring it up at all when diagnosing me. Is it worth seeing a doctor?

TL;DR: My first relationship ended after 2 years, filled with family drama, mental health struggles, and constant fights. Despite my efforts to make things work, including sacrificing friendships and financial stability, my partner became distant, compared me to others, and eventually admitted to hanging out with someone else. I made mistakes too, struggling with bipolar disorder and inadvertently causing harm by involving others. Now, I'm devastated, experiencing panic attacks, and desperate for advice on coping with this heartbreak.
This a long rant and just want to let my heart out.
My partner (F20) of 2 years broke up with me and it was my very first relationship. Things were rocky for us due to various factors including horrifying incidents like we both come for conservative families and were caught being alone at my house, also had serious fights over various issues. I am clinically tested for Bipolar Disorder (mild) and she for ADHD (severe). We were from same high school, even lived near and used to go for same coaching. At first she hated me but eventually fell in love and asked me out. I was already in love with her and it was dream come true. We had a fairytale story for about 8-9 months when the caught incident happened resulting in fights between both families who btw were extremely good with each other before finding out about us. We both were strictly warned never to contact each other ever again but we still did. We both moved for college in same city. I had opportunity to go another prestigious college in far away city, but me being a fool opted for subpar college close to hers. It was traumatic for us both so 2-3 months went in recovering from family fights and we were again having good time. She befriended a girl who was extremely toxic and used to give her ill advices, my partner being immature used to blindly listen and cause issues between us. I also have a female best friend from school as well whic we have completely platonic relationship but she hated the fact that I had her as a best friend as there were rumors of us being a couple in middle school. For my partner's sake I cut off with the best friend and almost everyone she had issues with, I was in deep love and didn't wanted to make her upset and lose her. She always has been a extreme introvert with minimal to no friends and very toxic abusive family. I was with her when she was having the worst time including mental and physical abuse by her parents over studies, college and future. I always encouraged her to make friends, no matter gender and spend time with them.
Almost a year later on my bday she had a dress up party at her college and I had exams. She wished me at midnight, again in morning and that's it. Whole day there were no texts, no calls, no nothing. I was highly upset as I was expecting a surprise as I previously mentioned I had cut off everyone so only one I had was her. Way past 7 PM I got text from her she is leaving from college campus to go to her private hostel, which had path from a slum area infamous for mugging, rapes, etc. I advised her to take another longer but safer route and go in group. She said yes and didn't had any contact upto 9 PM. I contacted her another friend who told me my partner had left at 7 itself... It's been 2hrs no contact with her, also she had not taken the long route and went the infamous one. I sent numerous texts and dozens of calls only to get a text message at 9 - 930 that she was busy having shower and later had a call with her mother. I scolded her for being so irresponsible. She got upset, wished me happy birthday once again and went to sleep. I cried all night and next day decided to end things with her and sent a text addressing the same. She cried whole day and I got call from her various friends and I explained them the situation. Later I agreed to talk to her. I was expecting a apology but she didn't say anything and was making puppy sad faces. It really pissed me off and I started raging out. Also the dress up she wore for the event in college was little revealing (office formals but very tight ones) and in fit of rage said "You went dressed like a w***e", I agree it was way out of line and I regretted instantly. Said sorry multiple times but it offended her a lot.
We fit rough patch after that and had tough 2-3 months. I was confused, I blocked her but used to end up unblocking and talk with her. She had suicidal tendencies and one day ended up drinking entire bottle of cough syrup. Also she revealed to me about her past, where one of her family member had tried to touching her inappropriately. Although I was very angry, I immediately went to meet her and comfort her. But still we had tough time for a month. Then I got a call one day from her friends saying she hasn't been eating much and fainted. I had food poisoning with extreme painful stomach, but I still went h to her traveling 2 hrs on 2 buses and took her out to eat. Where she just had teary eyes and no words were spoken. I left like that but I realised I can't live without her, can't see her sad, can't let anything happen to her and her being so much sad is proof she feels bad, she won't be able to express in words but she feels it, we reconciled following day. After that things started getting normal. Even her toxic friend started showing her true colors and my partner cut her off. All was well and good until she befriended a new friend who has a rich boyfriend who used to pamper her in materialistic as well as other ways. She started comparing me with him.
We used to meet at my home and it being 40-45 min travelling time I used to drop or pick her up, and she used to use cab for one way travel. She used to complain how I don't do both, pick up as well as drop. We used to meet only on weekends and were physically active. She had a high sex drive resulting in 1hr to 1.5 hrs of lovemaking which would drain me out and was too tirying to drop her and come back. But I always used to pay for her cab as well as her other needs like clothes, food ordering etc etc. Her family used to send mere money and I used to spend on her being myself not buying anything or at times skipping meals, just for her happiness. Even send medicines, buy heating bag for period cramps as well as paying off her credit which overall used to consume 30-40% of my monthly budget. Which I never complained or felt bad, seeing her happy made me happy.
But in Jan of this year I got really depressed regarding studies, her fighting behavior as well as family issues. It led to affect my body physically as well and I got IBS. I was admitted in hospital for 3 weeks at my hometown and resting for next 2 weeks. Almost 1.5 months I was away. I was back for my midterms and went to pick her up from the station as she was home as well. She embedded up paying 100x times more to cab for just dropping her from main area to little out. I was upset and scolded her for being so irresponsible and wasting money. She didn't talk with me all the way to home and was silent as well when we reached home. Later we talked and had lovely time but while dropping her off the morning issue came up again and she was quite the whole time. Despite having pain in stomach I had gone to pick her up as well as drop and she being silent bothered me. I dropped her half way to her dorm and booked her a cab to go. Please note it was a populated metropolitan square with 500-600 people passing by and not some dark road. Also I made sure she sat in her cab and went home. I came back and didn't wanted to talk with her. I had to go back to my hometown for further treatment, but it had gotten worse and was admitted again. She had her exams so I never bothered her with details but I had to take high dose multi vitamin injections which were painful as bullet and of wrongly administered can cause extreme pain. And unfortunately one time it got wrongly administered and I had screaming pain, also it was her last day of exams so I just messaged her call immediately after exam which was approx at 3-4 PM. She said ok but didn't text until 7-8 PM. I asked where she was, she just said she was hanging out with friends and came back now and I being in pain said things like, when you will suffer same and your loved one will ignore you, you will understand and blocked her. After a few days I contacted back and never ever I had seen her talk the way she was talking. Extreme rude, careless and right up saying I don't want you. Your illness causes all pain.
I was devastated and tried apologising and making up. She was firm and wasn't budging. This went for few days and she ended up telling she has been going out with some guy, just 2 of them. She admitted it's just friends and nothing else. It was hurtful and cause my IBS to worsen, I was admitted back at 3 AM crying and crying.
I remember , on her birthday I had planned whole day out. Movies, parks, restaurant and various surprises, but she being introvert and lazy chose to stay home with me and order in. And now being so excited to go out with him was shocking for me. Also she started playing video games which she never had interest when I used to tell her to join me.
Also she used to waste a lot of time on social media and YouTube resulting in no studies. I advised her to delete social media to focus on studies. Which used to cause fights. I myself never had any social media except Reddit.
A few things to consider:
She has extreme high temper
She does extreme overthinking
Also always assumes I blame her for everything
And most importantantly, she thinks she is the only one with problems in whole world and other's problems are menial
I got back to the city and tried visiting her, calling her but she didn't wanted to meet. I literally felt my soul leaving my body. Shivering, crying, sleepless nights, and when slept, nightmares. Even had panic attacks and everything. I texted her million times apologising, begging her, literally*
But she just was straight up rude.
I finally planned a big surprise. I cooked burgers for her and her friends from scratch. Drew a drawing of her. Sang her favorite song as well as a self written song begging her to dont let me go or else I will die. Letter explaining my love to her, as well as promise to change according to her. Follow everything she says, never say hurtful stuff, and never do anything she doesn't like. Completely change myself. Also added a bouquet and some care stuff and sent to her yesterday. She said all this was mental torture for her. And she didn't wanted to meet at all. I was deeply upset and just ended up saying suicidal things and went away. Even ended up cutting myself on hand a bit. But she ended up coming to meet me but straight up said I don't want her. She has lost all love for me and never ever want me in my life ever again. And left.
I have been crying all night and even had 2 panic attacks.
Please note:
My behavior was main reason as well:
As I mention I am Bipolar, I used to end up blocking her for days on end just to avoid me saying anything hurtful to her.
I once in my depressive episodes ended up contacting her toxic friend and telling her some of the things, which she ended up telling everyone in their college completely destroying my partner's image which I regret a lot.
Also my female best friend, I used to tell her everything (nothing intimate... But sharing appropriate things) and my partner used to hate it. I stopped doing that immediately but she held a grudge till now.
And I ended up involving a lot of people in this because she had blocked me everywhere and I was desperate for someone to convince to meet me in person and talk it out.
This has been like a truck smashing my out of nowhere and I can't recover at all. Especially with no one to talk and just crying and crying.
People who went through first heartbreaks, or whom you thought was your the one, literally planned entire life with that person, please help me get through this.

Hello so I might have to give some back story. First off I’ve had anxiety since I was 12. It has gotten very bad over the years. I had to be put on klonopin (I tried all kinds and still do try others here and there to see if they will work in replacement but nothing) I take my klonopin and it keeps me okay for the most part. However I do a lot of overthinking and my brain constantly runs and runs through every thought and scenario. I’m also a huge emetophobe so most of my anxiety leads me to thinking or worrying I might get sick and so on it’s a bad cycle. Now normally I see a therapist weekly but mine retired and I’ve been on a waiting list for 2 months now. I have my appointment scheduled for the 13th of May, so not too much longer. However I’ve been losing sight of my coping skills and having multiple breakdowns. Also 23 (f) now but when I was 18 I had to go to the hospital because I was having a lot of stomach pains. It turned out I was stressed out so much and anxious that I was developing ulcers. Now I’m not sure if that just meant I had ulcers or if I continued to stress I would get ulcers. I’m not sure how that works. Anyways I occasionally can feel that pain again when I get really bad anxiety for a long period of time. Here’s the current situation.
My mom is sick she’s been to the ER Twice in the last week. She doesn’t live with me, but she came to visit me last Sunday. And then she was feeling achy Monday and then went to the ER Wednesday and then dropped something off at my door (no contact). Then she went to the ER yesterday (Saturday) and I called her Saturday night to check up. She ended up stressing me out a lot. She was worried she had taken too much pain medicine and she made me call the pharmacist at like 3am. She was freaking out and after I told her she was fine and the pharmacist confirmed it as well. She wanted me to stay on the phone but I had to get off due to her causing me a lot of stress. I love my mom dearly. Anyways this was last night. I woke up this morning (didn’t get much sleep, slept like crap) and my fiancé brought my breakfast in bed. I ate it and then for some reason I had an anxiety attack. My heart rate the whole day was around 100+ and spiking in between. By the end of the night I started to feel my body aching. It started with my back. And then I felt it in my ribs and my lower back. My issue is that’s how my mom started to feel when she was sick, could I have gotten sick from her? Her ribs were hurting and it was just pain and then she started to get really sick so I’m worried that it could be that. I should also mention that I am also on day 4 of my cycle so I am wondering if I just didn’t get enough sleep, stressed my body out so badly from last night and then the whole day today and now that’s why my body is aching on top of my period could be contributing to my lower back pain. I’m currently lying in bed with a heating pad on my back. I started to mediate and noticed when I relaxed for 30 minutes and almost fell asleep I woke up with no pain but then when I got up and lied back down. I tensed up again and could feel the pain coming back slowly. Is this an anxiety problem or do you think I could be sick?
Please let me know what you guys think. I just want to relax and feel better but I don’t know if I’m sick or if I’m making my body physically hurt.

Hi everyone! I’m not really sure what’s going on with me healthwise, and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me some advice or feedback based on what I’m abt to write please?
So I’m a 20 year old female, in shape, and overall healthy besides all of the symptoms I’m about to list😹 for about 4 years I want to say, I’ve been struggling with dizziness, heart palpitations, feeling like I can’t get a deep breath in, and lots of stomach issues/cramping. I was told I just had anxiety and was prescribed an anti depressant, which I was on until last year when it was just making all of those symptoms worse. I also struggle with low back pain and overall joint pain that feels like a dull ache that becomes more annoying and painful when I try to go to bed or relax. I recently had a surgery in March to check for endometriosis, as I struggle with headaches, constant abdominal pain, chronic fatigue, constipation, nausea, dizziness, brain fog, and the list goes on. Im training for a 15k race over the summer, and my resting heart rate has been between 50-55 beats per minute, but even after running consistently for over a month, my heart rate spikes to over 200 beats when I exercise, even at a not strenuous level. I’ve also become more aware of frequent head rushes I get when standing & how tired I become after eating. My primary doc sent a referral for me to get a stress test.
It wasn’t until about two weeks ago a family friend mentioned POTS to me, and I’ve done some research, but not a lot because I don’t want to get in my own head. So that’s why I’m here and asking (more like pleading) that someone has some advice or anything that could possibly help me.
I’m sorry that this is so much and sort of disorganized, but if anyone has any advice or tips on what to do I’d really appreciate it. I’ve been trying to get an answer for years, and I just keep getting normal test results or being told it’s anxiety or in my head but I know it’s not and I just feel like I’m at a dead end right now.
Thank you!

Age 23, Female Weight: 107 lbs Height: 5’4 Smoking status: non-smoker Past medical issues: umbilical hernia, vocal cord paralysis and colitis (as a baby), SMAS, Gastroparesis (not current), abnormalities on ecg.
Current medical issues: respiratory distress and abnormal ABGT blood tests, MTD, and Chiari malformation (grade I) with x2 syrinx (cervical and thoracic spine) with herniated C4 and C5 discs. Nausea/vertigo and upper epigastric pain and tenderness.
It's been progressing worse and worse since last November, January it became unbearable, woke up one morning completely out of breath and it progressed to where I'm short of breath 24/7 including at rest and when sleeping. Worse when I lay flat. I've had a tight choking sensation and pain in my lower neck that's been worsening for a while and it causes an irritated wheezing painful cough. I feel like I'm constantly fighting to keep my airway open. This past week I’ve also developed constant vertigo and nausea. My breathing also shutters in a choppy motion when exhaling which seems to be coming directly from the area right underneath my sternum, and I never had it before my breathing issues started. I feel like I'm drowning and being strangled from the inside out. Eating causes immediate vertigo and my breathing will suddenly cut off so I’ve been surviving off of boost drinks. I feel like an elephant is on my chest. Heart failure and pulmonary hypertension were ruled out by echocardiogram. D-Dimer came back within normal limits. GERD and hernia were ruled out via double contrast barium swallow test and gastric emptying study, yet I’m vomiting/producing excess mucus which is extremely thick and opaque white which is new for me ever since the breathing troubles progressed. Pulmonary function test came back fine, but I feel like I'm suffocating and am bedridden at this point. The past 3 ABGT's l've done all came back abnormal at rest, when in a relaxed state. Currently my PH arterial is high, my pCO2 is low, and my base excess is low. What does this mean, and what could be causing it along with the suffering and constant respiratory distress? What do I do to fix this? Any help would be greatly appreciated as I’m scared for my life and am quickly declining. Thanks in advance!

About 20 days ago on a Monday night I was doing weighted dips and shortly after started feeling this crazy intense pain in the middle of my chest, shook it off but the next morning i couldn’t even get out of bed. 5 days later i went to the doctor and was told I have costochondritis, ekg came out fine so it gave me a peace of mind. Told me to rest, take ibuprofen, aleve, and do warm/cold compresses. I took it on my own hands to do stretches such as the ones in this youtube video https://youtu.be/oj6MNlqkRfA?si=OjM7CRcdjnRjs5l0 (I use a dual back roller that I bought from walmart, https://www.walmart.com/ip/Athletic-Works-Dual-Back-Roller-Back-Massager-Muscle-Rolle251295011?fulfillmentIntent=In-store&from=/search ) and https://youtu.be/r7ve6nNVdWc?si=W7zF_LFX2Qw4zrWS , I would say it has definitely helped, the pain isn’t there anymore when I get up from bed or even from turning my torso so i can say i have made progress but i’m still not at 100% yet. I’ve wanted to ask if the next step should be in getting the back pod? I’ve been doing everything I can, ibuprofen, aleve, warm/cold compresses, stretches, bengay, voltren gel, and as well as my doctor told me to start taking abulterol sulfate and allergen again due to the shortness of breath that I have been feeling. Wanted to ask what should I do next, i’m M 22, and I love working out, I go 6 days out of the week so this has taken a real mental toll on me honestly.

Hey there. Not my first time experiencing hallucinations while falling asleep/waking up, but this time it was different.
So basically I was falling asleep while facing my partner and I was focused on their breathing. Then slowly, I started to hear the breathing coming not only from them, but from behind me as well. I knew that I am slowly entering hypnagogia... except I was already in it.
I force myself to turn back to see most likely an entity, but to my surprise, nothing. Then when I turn back to my partner, I try waking them up by frantically shoving my face on their stomach and grabbing them by the chest. I notice that nothing wakes them up and decide to bite their lip, only to find them staring with a wide grin and fully open eyes right at me. I knew shit was gonna go down so I try waking myself up, but instead, I get out of bed and find myself able to freely move, so I start talking with myself / "the entity" , basically provoking them to a physical fight. I start searching the whole apartment for someone/something to talk/fight with but as my movements got stronger and more complex, I woke up, only to find myself in the bed, in the same exact position I had fallen asleep in.
It was the first time I was able to fully hallucinate complete body movements even as complex as shadow boxing and jumping.
I tried searching the whole internet for someone who had the same experience but I couldn't find anything of the sort.
What do you think can cause such extreme vivid hallucinations / Did you also happen to experience such moments?
Worth noting I am a natural lucid dreamer and I frequently experience sleep paralysis.

24 male. Take trileptal and atomoxetine. History of seizures (controlled) benign brain tumors (removed), OCD, and focus issues.
Really stupid and ironic, but I hit my head (about an inch above my forehead, and four inches across horizontal, midline) on the metal edge of an ambulance (I work on them) when jumping up into the cabin. Hurt badly right away, then the pain completely faded before coming back about a half hour later. Didn't lose consciousness or blackout. No bleeding. Don't think I notice any deformation
The somewhat concerning part is I've felt kinda nauseous for a over 5 hours (started an hour and a half after injury) which is resolving. Feel like my thinking has been a little glitchy here and there, difficulty finding a few words, felt a bit more frustrated about a few things than usual but I'm also VERY short on sleep. Had a few odd sensations behind my eyes of pressure but very brief. No vomiting before or after eating, no vision changes, pupils are equal (maybe a mm different) and reactive. No difficulty with walking, coordination, or speech. No changes in hearing. Some light sensitivity. No friends or coworkers mentioned anything strange in my behavior.
Head pain has ebbed and flowed, never above 4/10 (aside from the initial ache, which was like 6 or 7). Now having some minor neck pain too as of an hour ago. Slight tenderness above the right temple, though I didn't get injured there.
I'm a bit sensitive about head injuries due to history of seizures and brain tumor. Considered going to ER just in case because of nausea lasting, but I really don't think it's necessary at this point. I'm so tired, and I work tomorrow, and I really want to sleep. Would like an educated opinion, and I know it's easy to be biased on oneself.

I think this ex of mine may be ghosting me and it’s making my stomach churn. We dated a couple years ago. He’s a good person and we left things on decent terms other than that he really pushed my boundaries when I needed space to a point that felt intrusive. I really needed an indefinite pause because feeling pressured to be more available than I had capacity for made me feel super frustrated and guilty. I didn’t want to be temperamental. Recently I reached back out. I took a really long time to do that, in part because I wanted to be sure I had healed enough to be a good friend to him and hopefully not end up in a similar holding pattern. He was happy to hear from me and we talked for awhile and had coffee. It seemed like a genuinely kind connection still. He is doing better in life overall, making more $$, seeing someone new and it’s going well. I am genuinely happy for him and also felt like maybe that would make it easier to be friends again too, since the boundaries are clear. He said not being in contact had weighed on him and that it felt really nice and relieving to be back in touch. Anyhow long story short, last we texted he was going to give me some eclipse glasses, and we were planning to have another coffee when he returned from a weekend trip to see the full eclipse. And weeks passed with no word. I texted this morning and basically just said hi. The message was delivered but no reply. It’s got me feeling super anxious and anguished & weird, like it was wrong or foolish of me to try and stay friends. A couple years ago, he had professed such deep care for me and had said (sort of jokingly but sincere) I am going to stay part of his life whether I liked it or not. I guess I believed that & it’s why I took the risk of reconnecting. I am thinking it’s maybe not true anymore that he wants to stay friends. Honestly if I was in his position I might have a hard time if an ex popped back up two years later. I didn’t think he was the type to ghost ever, or I might have been less open with him when we met. I shared good things in my life and also was honest about some recent traumas and that I haven’t really wanted to date much, that when I’ve tried it hasn’t been fun. Anyhow, I’m feeling sad at another loss. Gratefully I have some beautiful core friends that I’ve stayed fairly close with for decades. It helps me keep in light that I’m a good solid friend to a number of people who don’t think I’m “too much.” But the amount of connections that meant something real and then disappear or end painfully — it really warps my brain. I’m feeling so anxious and foolish and like a failure: I know it’s not true but I thought I’d vent here instead of just sitting here feeling stuck and bad. I think I’m stressed about a lot of things and that my brain is snagging on this. I’d love support, reassurance or relatedness, though I’m definitely not looking for advice. Thanks 😊 TLDR: I think I’m being ghosted and it sucks and hurts 🤷

Living is exhausting, posting and whining to strangers and to my friends is exhausting, i am exhausting. I don't like how even though i am doing something fun, my mind always goes back to how it will always just end and that you just want to die. It's all exhausting
I have tried everybody's advise and i am tired of the bullshit i am given. I can't just "love myself" i can't just "go to therapy," people look at me and see me as ugly and i have no money, stop telling me that life will get better because it won't. I know because i have tried for a decade to be a happy normal person but nothing gives.
I need someone that cares for me to hold me. Just let me cry on them while they hug me and play with my hair. I have never felt loved except with my friends who i consider my family.
They say they are busy though. I think i said too much to them and they don't know how to handle it so they avoid me. I know my issues are complicated though so i understand why they have to deal with their own problems. It's not about me. Nothing is about me, and it shouldn't be. I don't matter, if they want to move to a different state and leave me behind, that's ok. I am looking for a way to buy a gun and hide it so that way can end my life and i won't have to suffer the pain of watching them abandon me. This is what happens when i'm honest. And i am tired of seeing that i am not the only one that feels this. I feel so alone but at the same time, i am a bit overwhealmed by how many people on this community have simular feelings.
I wish i had a woman that would hold me, i don't think anything else can help. I need to cry and i need to cry on a woman i care for. I know i shouldn't because it's rude but i am just so tired. I still don't have a car, everything has to be 10 times more complicated than it should be. It took 6 months just to get the title for the car i originally had, and 6 more months to get the plates, just for it to stop working after a couple of months. I haven't been able to drive for about almost 4 months and i am tired of living. I hate it here, it's eating me. The house is falling apart and the cost is only getting higher, my stomach can't handle certain foods, no diagnosis as the doctors here just want money and they don't actually diagnose you, so as long as i am not dying, i guess i'm fine. Therapy costs as much as my paychecks and i can't even support anyone. I can't get a full time job because either nobody is hiring or i choose not to do warehouses because they see big guy, they put him in heavy stuff and i am not strong at all. "Gotta build up muscles and be a real man!" Fuck these fucking socital atandards of "men have to be strong and responsible!" Fuck these people who expect every man to be a father and a hard worker, working 40-60 hours a week! Fuck those people! My mother may not have been the best person but she was better than most of the men in my childhood. She may have also been a controlling, emotional manipulator, and physically and mentally abusive just like every other man but at least she tried. The men didn't try. They preyed on vulnerable kids and spouses and treat themselves as "real men"
I want to be held. I don't have anything else to say. I need a loving woman to hold me in their arms and comfort me when i cry. But i tried dating apps and i never matched with a single person and nobody liked me. Realistically, they are probably smarter for not chosing me. Nobody should chose me. I have always been and always will be the last choice. I'm going to die alone and it just hurts all over

[First]
CHAPTER 30
Lumiea
Year -19 (L.D.)

The flight was a blur. The black-clad rebels blended into the black interior of the Aerolux, while the world outside the windows ripped across Aeryn's view like a stream of light.
Her head swam with dizziness from whatever they injected into her neck. Time felt as if it twisted in loops instead of running straight forward.
With the speed they likely traveled, they could make it halfway across the world in an hour. But when they landed, it felt as if ten hours had passed, and as if it had only been minutes. How could both feel so true? The disorienting contradiction swirled in her mind.
Hands seemed to come at her from all sides. She tried to draw energy into her palms to fight, only nothing happened. There wasn't even a spark of heat. Her vision swooped as she lowered her head to see her hands bare. When had they taken her mods and bound her wrists together?
Aeryn tried to kick at the blur of bodies surrounding her, only they'd tied her legs as well. Her body writhed like a fish plucked from the water and dropped on the deck of a boat. As pathetic as it was useless.
Even though they'd landed, the outside still looked how it had speeding past the window. The trees and empty space between them tangled together. Purple sky streaked down into the ground. Aeryn squeezed her eyes shut and mustered all the strength she possessed to rip free from her binds.
Pathetic. Useless. A total failure.
Her efforts only earned her a swift fist to her rib cage and a scream muffled by a gag she didn't realize was there before.
What the hell had they given her?
Her eyes closed and then she opened them to a dimly lit room. They'd instantly transported her here.
No. What a stupid thought. She'd obviously passed out and woken up here. And time seemed to be running in a straight line again. The drug had worn off enough for her to start to collect her thoughts.
Pain beat around the edges of her skull in a throbbing headache.
On its heels came the flood of anger, with fear buried too deeply within it for her to actually feel.
There were others in the room. She blinked to clear her vision as she looked to another girl lying on her side nearby, bound just like Aeryn. Thirteen others littered the room, most passed out, but a few awake like she was. Her eyes caught another man's stare. While most of them looked to be around Aeryn's age, a few were older. Perhaps, late twenties or early thirties. The one looking at her must have been that age.
Aeryn huffed and tried in vain to rip her arms free once more.
Her squad would be frantically searching for her now. The thought of them worrying about her made her feel sick. She wanted to find a way to comfort them, tell her she was okay, but even if she could do that, it would be a lie. Aeryn had no idea what these people planned to do.
So she couldn't waste her time and energy crying about what happened to her or how her friends might feel. What information did she have? The fellow captives were a good source, not that she could immediately identify many patterns. Only that they were all younger and everyone looked to be in good shape. It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to assume they were military like Aeryn. She didn't see any signs of surgical body modifications, like the faint blue of biofluid, but in this light, she doubted she'd make that out. Were they combat soldiers or specialists?
Aeryn searched her memory, trying to discern the fuzzy details. It was hard to remember anything from the Aerolux now, not even how many people had been inside. Before being taken, she'd been collecting samples to create fuel when she heard a hum behind her. By the time Aeryn had twisted to make out the Aerolux hovering behind her, the terrible pain had already shot through her body.
Immediately her hand mods stopped working. She knew how fast it had happened because the instant she saw the Aerolux, she'd drawn upon energy in her palms.
No one should have an Aerolux except for Commander Vehru and those she'd entrusted one to. So it had never occurred to her to view one as a threat. But seeing it directly behind her, she'd known something was wrong.
Everything happened so fast. Aeryn struggled to remember the few short seconds that passed between seeing the Aerolux, losing her hand mods, and feeling the needle slide into her neck.
Wait. Her eyes closed. That wasn't what she remembered. It was what she assumed. Aeryn couldn't actually recall anyone injecting her. Pain had bitten into the back of her neck and within seconds, she'd lost motor control. Her final rational thought had been that they'd used an EMP to disable her mods and drugs to sedate her.
A cold sweat dampened her neck as she opened her eyes. Who were these people to have these kinds of resources? Her hand mods should have been protected from an EMP, but there were those powerful enough to destroy her equipment. Not only did her captors possess powerful weapons and drugs, but they somehow had an Aerolux.
No one on her planet had ever taken control of an Aerolux as far as she knew.
Were these rebels or someone else? Something else?
Hours passed as she tried to string together the few facts she knew into a theory that made any sense. Why had they taken her and the others? Who were they? What did they want?
Aeryn was a private. She wasn't worth much.
Unless they knew she was a candidate for the Witness Program. Maybe they even knew what that meant.
She needed to ask the others if they were candidates too, but no one had been successful in attempts to remove their gags or bindings. One woman had persistently raked her mouth against the ground to try to break the gag free and managed only to rub the tip of her nose raw. The binding was made of something stronger than their skin and it wasn't going anywhere.
Aeryn didn't waste her energy or her emotional wherewithal on attempts certain to lead to failure–which would create discouragement. Instead, she planned. At first, it felt that she couldn't plan for anything. The room was empty. The windows had been boarded closed. No one had entered to say anything to them. For all she knew they'd been left here to starve to death.
But the little information she did have actually told her quite a bit. Unless this was a training exercise–a possibility she would not consider as it would only serve to give her false hope–then whoever had taken her opposed the Federation in a way that the normal resistance did not ordinarily manage. Either they were a threat Aeryn did not know existed, perhaps one from her home planet or even another, or the rebels were capable of far more than Aeryn knew.
As the hours passed, Aeryn felt desperate for water and sleep. She nodded off a few times, but tried to stay awake, afraid she would miss something.
Finally, a woman entered the room. She wore all black with hair tucked beneath a black cap. She offered no name and no introduction.
"As bioengineers, you're all smart people." The woman turned to look at each of them. "As Witness candidates, I'm confident you're also resilient. So forgive us for the uncomfortable arrangements, but we can't be too careful with any of you."
This focused the possibilities in her mind and confirmed her suspicions. First, her captor spoke General American English. Interesting. And she knew about the Witness Program. A wry smile might have twisted her lips if not for the gag. Maybe she'd at least finally learn something about what the hell a Witness even was.
"You're trying to figure out who we are and why we took you. What will happen to you." Clasping her hands, the woman breathed out deeply. "I want to show you the respect of being honest. We will decide which of you should live and which should die."
Aeryn's muscles tightened. Of course, she realized they had not kidnapped them with innocent intentions, but hearing it made it all feel real.
"Commander Vehru has told you little about the Witness program. You don't understand what you're being considered for and just how many people you could hurt." Her eyes landed on Aeryn for a moment before her gaze continued on to hesitate on each person. "Some of you probably deserve to die and some of you probably deserve to live. I can't worry about that. I have one mission that I've dedicated my life to." Her voice hardened. "That is my sole concern. I advise you to cooperate with us."
She walked out of the room and paused before leaving.
"We're moving you within the hour."
Everyone looked to each other after the woman left, their eyes saying what they couldn't speak.
Even with Aeryn's mind reeling from the information, a moment came where she no longer felt alone. The connection with these fellow bioanalyst and Witness candidates soothed her aching chest. At least for a few minutes. It quickly turned into longing for her own people.
What was her squad doing now? Lyon and Nikka would be holding one another together as they tried to find a way to help her. Trin would be investigating and analyzing. Alix…
Aeryn honestly had no idea what Alix would do. He'd care. He'd want to find her. But if he felt helpless enough, then he'd probably just start lashing out at everyone around him and make things worse.
And Jace.
Surprise nipped her at the pain that flooded her chest as she imagined him. Aeryn didn't have to wonder what Jace would be doing. Even though he spent so much time ignoring her, acting aloof, trying to run away, he also ferociously guarded her. She hadn't even realized the extent of it until now as memories turned through her mind. His worry about her flying over the lake, the protectiveness of her in battle, the fear in his eyes any time she was injured. What had annoyed Aeryn and made her feel like he looked down on her now appeared very different to her. It wasn't that Jace didn't trust her competence.
He cared about her.
He would be waging a war right now trying to find her.
Fear had been a constant hum in her mind since she first saw the Aerolux, but it consumed her now as she thought of the danger her squad could get into searching for her and fighting to free her. What if one of them got seriously hurt? Or worse. If anyone would do something crazy, it would be Jace. The thought of something happening to him made her body go rigid with dread and panic.
Aeryn had to find a way out of here and back to her squad.
[First] [Last] [Royal Road] [Discord]
Note: Book 1 of Witness is finished on Royal Road if you'd like to read ahead. Sorry for not updating here for a long time!

Back about 15 years ago, I had a torsioned ovary that was the most painful experience of my life.
The pain came on very suddenly, and even after having 3 children I couldn't compare this pain to that. I'd push out all 3 of my children at once to not ever experience this again. After being rushed to the hospital and 2 CT scans, they called in the emergency OBGYN to perform an emergency surgery. While waiting for the results, I was given the highest dosage of dilaudid allowable and it did not touch the pain. You get the hint, I digress.
Well my ovary was so big, it was put in the medical books at that time as when they removed it, it was hard as a brick and the size of a cantaloupe (how Dr. described it).
Here I (52 yo) am, almost 15 years later, and am not getting straight answers about menopause. I cannot take any type of HRT due to having unprovoked PEs 7 years ago. I rarely experience hot flashes, but when I do, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Maybe I am and don't know it, but I get this massive pain in the middle of my chest then the flushing runs through. My periods until the last 3 years have been regular and unchanged. Since then, I can go 3 or 4 months with nothing, then Satan opens the gates of hell and I'm bleeding so badly I can't leave the house for a few days. Then I'll be regular again for a few months, etc. Last year my Dr tested my hormone levels and according to those, I'm "post menopause ". How can this be if I'm still having my period every few months?
And my final question, has anyone who has had past ovarian issues experienced these types of menopause malfunctions? Ugh, I don't even know what to ask. I guess, am I typical or broken? Any suggestions? Sorry I guess maybe I just needed to vent.