Hey y'all, first time user of this subreddit because I don't typically do fantasy basketball but this opportunity that approached me last year was too good not to take; and I'm in desperate need of advice. Long story short, a person that I trust very much in my life and is well integrated into my family and extended family offered me to play for him in his fantasy league, where the buy in was 5k and "if we win, you can have it all." This hasn't been the first time I've played for him either. I played in the same league a few years ago with the same group of guys.
Skipping past the whole league and its ups and downs; I win it. I had sole control of his account and made every single waiver wire move, trade request/accept/decline, and all of the research involved in a fantasy league. Hours upon hours looking at advanced stats and watching tape. The only thing I didn't do, was draft (but I was on call with him and giving real time advice for who to buy etc etc).
I have receipts of him confirming the buy in amount at the beginning of the league and promising me it would be all mine if I won. Here's a few of the wrenches in the gearbox though:

1. His brother is the commissioner of the league
   
2. They committed the cardinal sin of not collecting the buy in cash at the beginning
   
3. I have no one's contact information except for him and his brother
   
4. There was a redraft because Devin Booker got sold for $1 at auction on accident (more on this later)
   

Because Devin Booker got sold for so cheap, we restarted the draft a week later and, supposedly, the buy in amount changed to an uncertain amount that he didn't tell me about. Sounds like pretty important information to tell the guy thats playing the whole thing for you, right? I was playing the whole year under the guise that the buy in was such a large amount. I asked about confirming the total payout and the buy in amount and got left on delivered when I said:
"What was the buy in amount then lol ? If it got changed half way thru the season I should’ve known"
What is really funny is that he completely ignored it and sent me a happy birthday message a week later. The payout equates for much more than a years worth of wages. I dedicated a lot of time to it that I could have spent studying for university.I can definitely find a way of contacting his brother to find out what is really happening in the league and ask about the buy in amount. But there is the off chance that he also knows what is happening. If push comes to shove I can stalk their instagram accounts and find the other people in the league to ask about what is happening. Obviously I do not want this to go to civil court because most of the money is going to be thrown into lawyers and legal fees.
Please ask for any clarifying questions, I'm sure I missed some details.

hello, i am a 19 year old who’s currently an undergrad in college. i’m at a good point personally (doing good in school, 2 part-time jobs, feel good about myself holistically) and i know what i want in life. i'm currently living several miles from DC, but i'm originally from baltimore. i would prefer to date someone with similar attributes, age, and close-distance, but i am not limiting myself. i’m looking for someone that can hopefully be my long-term partner!
About Me - ⁠i would describe myself as caring, authentic, hardworking, rational, helpful, organized, efficient, realistic, funny, introverted, and versatile - ⁠i enjoy playing video games, listening to music, animals, basketball, football, sci-fi, hanging with friends, and eating good food - studying engineering - ⁠agnostic atheist - ⁠i don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs - don’t want kids -⁠i’m looking forward to learning how to cook, trying new things, and gaining unique experiences :)

I’d like to begin this invitation of advice or experiences by stating that what I want in life is a partner who feels like home, will always give me their genuine effort, & will love me through all of the highs, mediums, & lows of life.
I specifically want to know about any advice or things I should consider when it comes to the age gap I have with the man I’m seriously considering making a staple & serious part of my life. I (29f) met Chance (40m) 3 years ago & we have been seeing each other for a little over a year. We met at the middle school in which we both work- he’s the social worker, I’m the art teacher. When I first saw him, he looked like a meat head (he’s pretty muscular, bald, beard, wears hoodies) & I’ve always been into nerds so it never occurred to me that I’d end up attracted to him. The first year we knew each other, it was very surface level, & then, during the second year of my time at the school, I got to know him better, as I did a few coworkers I now consider close friends. This second year of friendship was also a tough period for me as I was going through a divorce from a 5 year relationship with a man who wasn’t on the same life path as me & kind of made me dislike myself just for being me (wanting kids, needing to be intrinsically motivated in my career rather than financially motivated)- basically he was type A & I am B. Anyhow, as I was processing my divorce & creating friendships, I got to know Chance better both at work & at hang outs with friends outside of work. I watched how the kids at school just flocked to him & how kind he was with everybody. He coached the basketball team, did an after school program with the SRO to help at risk kids, & often stepped in to help others with tasks that weren’t related to his job as social worker. & he always did it with a positive attitude & good sense of humor. People just LIKE him, you know? It became obvious that he was just a really good person. One day, we had a discussion about kids & how we both wanted them. He told me I’d be a great mother because of how I treat the students & I told him he’d also be a wonderful parent. & he cast his spell on me & I slowly started falling for him. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Here I was, recently divorced from a relationship that had a tremendous affect on me mentally/emotionally, & I was gaining feelings for a man who was very different from my ex, & 11 years older than me. Was I just looking for a distraction? Was I using him to boost my confidence up after it had spent so much time at all time low? Or was I simply recognizing that this man had all of the features that I’d been missing in my past relationship & maybe I should pay attention to that? I was worried that my judgement post- divorce couldn’t possibly be clear, so I expressed that I had feelings for him but had to take things very slow. I was a bit of a mess as I tried to take the initial steps to get closer to him. I’d get emotional & have somewhat of a panic attack, or I’d go through some wishy washy phases when it came to wanting to see him in general. No matter what it was, he said that he understood, he wasn’t going anywhere, & that he just wanted me to be ok. He’d always ask what he could do to help & what I needed from him to feel better. If we were kissing & he felt that I wasn’t comfortable, he’d stop. One time he could tell that I wasn’t feeling great & he cried because he thought he’d made me feel bad. Needless to say, he was always there for me & ACTUALLY cared about how I felt. As we got closer, he was always respectful, would leave me flowers on random or special occasions (like when I was in an art show that he attended, or the first day of a new semester at work), wanted to make things like holidays memorable for me (one time I specifically thought was sweet was when he decorated my place with a Christmas tree & lights because “it’s your first Christmas in your new apartment, it should be festive!”). I consistently got solid evidence that he was emotionally mature, ready for a relationship, & wanted the same things as me.
So, I thought, “why is this sweet, courteous, kind, responsible, funny man single?” I’d heard some woman at work “pick” at him about this & say “I just don’t get how you’re single!” & I honestly wondered myself. You always heard that it’s a ref flag if a man dates a woman over 10 years younger & that it’s because “women his age didn’t want him”. Well, there are a few rational explanations I could think of: 1. He’d been sexually abused by his stepsister for years as a child. He’d told me that he’d had a few relationships during his 20s & 30s, but they didn’t last long & he’d had some issues with women not dealing with his anxiety around sex well. With me, this was not an issue, really. We’d taken the physical really slow, & when one of us felt anxiety as things heated up, the other stopped & supported. After a few months, it became a non-issue & we were able to have great sex with no fear that one of us would get anxious. 2. When he was younger (childhood-20s) he was overweight. He began balding in his 20s & so he shaved his head. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women who wanted to be with the overweight, bald guy? Women can be just as shallow as men.
So, I began to try to look for any signs that maybe this man is “grooming” me or something. I looked for issues as well as green lights. How’s his family? His brother is happily married with children & Chance is close with his family, seeing them weekly. What are his friends like? I enjoy his friends. They’re nice, fun people & his best friends are in happy marriages. Does he manipulate you? No, he treats me like a princess (I’m not used to it) & tries to establish healthy relationship patterns (he always insists on a weekly date night, suggests activities together, such as me weight lifting with him & him running with me). He also hypes me up like no other- If I’m wearing a risky outfit that I love but know my mom would insult, BAM Chance is the first one to see it & his jaw drops to the floor. Always telling me how strong, sweet, & cool I am. Made me take his gloves when we went on a snowy hike & I’d forgotten mine. Just basically an endless stream of courtesy.
I have gotten a lot of evidence that this is a solid person with whom I could build a beautiful relationship & family with. Everything he’s shown me has been positive as far as communication, morals, empathy, kindness & life plans is concerned.
So… is the 11 year age gap a concern? Should I be more paranoid about why he is still single, or are my theories valid? Although he goes to the gym daily & is like a kid at heart, should I worry about his age when it comes to us potentially raising kids? He’d likely be 43-45 by the time I was ready for that.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know. Truthfully, I do have other potential options if I pursued them & I’m not afraid of being alone, but I’m feeling that I’d like to commit to a relationship.

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS NUMEROLOGY DECODE

Since we all know exactly who and what Spongebob is, I am going to do a Numerology decode.
When it comes to Numerology, there are many different things you can look into. I am going to look into the letters, patterns, and Numerology personality numbers.
SPONGEBOB has a personality #6. 6 is the number of compassion, work ethic, criticism, cleanliness, and productivity. In the funny show, we see that Spongebob is a workaholic. He has a 5 destiny number which shapes who you are overall. 5 is connected to youthfulness which explains the silliness of the Spongebob character. He is always laughing and doing things funny. The 5 energy indicates this. 5 also points to people, places, and things that are unique. He has an 8 soul urge which explains his undying ambition and creativity.
We can see that SPONGEBOB has 2 O's which has the numeric energy of 15 and numeric value of 6. 15 is the creative use of energy for productivity. Again, 6 is the number of routine, work ethic and productivity goes with this. This energy is not only his personality number, but also it is within his name. It's really in him.
SPONGEBOB HAS DOUBLE NUMERIC VALUES IN HIS NAME WHICH ARE, 7,6,5, AND 2. This explains why he is able to show his emotions and have moments of sensitivity(2). Very compassionate(2) but also childish and silly(5) and able to come up with plans that work(7). Since these #s has double influence, we must considered what they equal. 7 twice equals 14/5 which shows how he is responsible and can make work fun even though it is a duty(6). 6 twice equals 12/3 which shows his social skills, life, and creativity. Another youthful energy as well. 5 twice equals 10/1 which points to his bravery and capability to take action. 2 twice equals 4 which is home,family,responsibility, and structure on the home front and he would make everyone feel comfortable for the most part.
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I told my husband today that when we have kids, I expect him to also care for the children as well. He makes a joke and says “that’s a woman’s job. All I have to do is go to work and make the money”. I told him that isn’t funny and I refuse to be a wife who begs you to care for your children. He continues to joke and then eventually is like “baby I’m just joking! I’ll help take care of the kids too”. Uh huh….. I don’t know if this is a red flag or what but I’m not laughing 🙄 I will kick him to the curb. I don’t care about his basketball game or him relaxing, kids come first.

I'm not gonna say whats obviously been said. Theyre incredible.
The funny thing for me, is that while T3 really interested me as a kid because of the more hand to hand oriented fight scenes between the cyborgs, I had a very different reaction to trying to watch the movie today.
I boot it up and read the blurb,
"It's been 10 years since John Connor saved Earth from Judgment Day, and he's now living under the radar, steering clear of using anything Skynet can trace. That is, until he encounters T-X, a robotic assassin ordered to finish what T-1000 started. Good thing Connor's former nemesis, the Terminator, is back to aid the now-adult Connor … just like he promised."
And I tabbed out.
I finished T2 yesterday. Now, i could be mistaken here, but:

1. 10 years.. and he's now living under the radar, steering clear of using anything Skynet can trace.

What? T2 ends with old ass SC rejoicing quietly that Skynet never came to be. And why is John in hiding? He should be on the road to becoming a Senator and building a family. And how can Skynet trace anything if it doesnt exist?
Even if SC is wrong and they failed, they had no idea, at least not up to that scene in the park. So even if there is a Skynet, while I could see John being cautious, he has no reason to believe he has to duck Skynet spycraft.

1. "Connor's former nemesis, the Terminator, is back to aid the now-adult Connor … just like he promised."

Umm... The Terminator never promised to come back. That was just a line. A really great ironic line in the first film, because he comes back with a vengeance. Then a Poignant line in the second movie due to the sentimental addition of his care for JC (oh fuck they really went there with the symbolism huh).
Point is, every piece of pop media using I'll be back as an I'll return catchphrase is actually simply inaccurate if based off of T1 and T2.
Now, to answer a couple questions for myself, I almost started to watch a bit and jump around, but i couldnt handle the tonal difference in the movie score. It's very blatantly early 2000's Daredevil basketball for me.
Anyway. Not here to start a flame war against any T3 Dark Fate or Genysis Fans.
I just had a bad whiplash bc I want more Terminator, but I realized the content changes in the way that drew in young child me, but bores present me to tears. Anyway, hi the oldheads. After watching 1 and 2, I get it. I get it.
Edit: Now I'm watching Dark Fate and I have questions I hope will be answered.

1. Why does JC need to die if the timeline has already been altered to preclude is military career? I know theres an alternate future, so he has to be critical to their timeline as well I guess. Idk the first movie was better at laying out the rules sequentially. This movie operates off of assuming a lot about audience knowledge so its hard to know what the rules are bc i cant tell if the canon matters.
2. While I really like the editing on the new Terminator's abilities, I question if it follows the same rules of T2 as far as mass. It being able to use its excess non skeletal material to reconstitute into another body makes sense, but is that new body hollow or in some manner less dense? It appears to have strength, musculature and density unchanged. [implicitly answered during bridge fight] all non skeletal material is malleable and able to solidify to metallic firmness or loosen to the atom density of water.]

Part 1
Part 2
Hello again! I was going to post this on my own page but a few people mentioned that they think it’s nice to read on AITAH, so fuck it, here’s the “met Mikes family” update. And it's a doozy, or at least felt like it at the time for a girl who grew up with a small, dysfunctional family.
So first up, you know what people (at least me) don’t think about when dating a guy who’s always sitting? Height. I know he’s taller than me because we cuddle a lot, and he’s taller sitting on the couch, but I didn’t reeeeeeally get it. So we drive up Friday night after work (actually south and west, lol, but to my brain it’s always up) in his vehicle, which is modified to be driven entirely using his hands. Neat, right? He’s a really good driver too. One more green flag. We get to the house, and it’s…. It’s huge you guys, LOL like not a mansion, just kind of a sprawling one floor rancher. Real estate was wild back in the day.
Anyway we get out, and I meet his mom. I’d like to point out I am no slouch, I’m 5’-friggin-7. His mom is TOWERING over me. But she was the nicest lady ever. We go inside and I meet his dad (who funny enough is apparently the only short one in this family) and his youngest sister, who is living there with his one year old niece. She gets up to hug me and SHE IS ALSO REALLY TALL. It’s already a bit late then, so we eat and head to bed, I get to see his cute as shit room from when he was a teenager, and I casually ask “hey, so uh, I don’t know how this works and stuff, but how tall are you?” and Mike is all “I dunno, like a bit over 6’4? Been a while since I checked.” A BIT OVER 6’4. “So, is everyone in your family tall?” “…..kinda?”
We met the Nordic Basketball team he calls a family properly the next day. (Actually they’re Irish, but they’re blond and tall so it conveys the idea better.) The ONLY one of reasonable height, and still taller than me, was his oldest sister, lol.
They are also LOUD. Like not really shouting or anything usually, just, PRESENT. Mike is a lot different around them, but in the cutest way, like he just beams all the time and you can see how happy he is to be home. One of his brothers put him in a headlock and gave him a dang NOOGIE as a greeting, and got elbowed in the side for it, and all of them laughing. And his mom smacked one of his brothers with a rolled up magazine for putting his feet on the table. More laughing. Just… intimidating but in the happiest way imaginable. I’ll admit I was a little shut down for a bit, but Mike kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay, and they were all really nice, so I got into the spirit after a bit.
I mentioned this in another comment, but Mike has a special sports wheelchair he uses for, well, sports. And he and his siblings play basketball. And he is GOOD. Apart from just having a hell of an arm, he’s quick as hell. And this magnificent bastard that I love will absolutely, purposefully, GLEEFULLY run someone’s toes over. He AIMS for it. They all have this yank-back-the-foot maneuver that’s hysterical to watch.
So it was this crazy day of loud people playing and having a blast, nieces and nephews running around, and just noise. My ears are still ringing. The food was catered in advance because his mom “had seven babies, all I make on mother’s day is margaritas.” They also have a pool, it’s a bit chilly still but the pool is HEATED so we actually all got to swim, which was a lot of fun because I got to show off that I too am athletic…. I can do a backwards somersault off a diving board! Yeah. I’m a real catch lol. They at least pretended to be impressed.
We all stayed up late drinking and bitching that it was too overcast to see the aurora (boo) and I had the worst hangover I’ve had in a while on Sunday. We slept in a bit late, and then joined Mike’s family for the BBQ part of the BBQ weekend. His dad can GRILL, people. And he’s fast, food coming off the grill at lightning speed. I asked Mike about it and he laughed and said “there was seven of us to feed. Ever see a nest of baby birds? He had practice.” Which, fair enough.
I don’t have much experience with babies, but I got to hold his youngest niece (the one living at home with his sis until her husband gets back from deployment) and we had a light talk about kids in the future. I told him that I never put much thought into it but if they were going to grow up in a happy home like his and not how I grew up, I’m pretty sure I’d be open to having them with him someday. But later. I need him all to myself for a while first. He seemed really really happy about that, which makes ME feel all goofy and happy. I’m sappy.
We had to drive home Sunday night, but before we went his mom hugged me and said she’s NEVER seen her son like this, and thanked me for taking good care of her baby. And asked if we’d be back for the 4th of July or if we were doing something with my family. And I tried to be all “haaaa no we’ll be here if you don’t mind, I don’t see them much” and I think she caught on that there’s more to the story so she just hugged the shit out of me (vikings, all of them I swear) and told me she can’t wait to see me again.
My ears are still ringing from all the noise and chaos, but it was an absolute blast and I can’t wait to see them again in July. Also, pretty much sure Mike is the man I’m going to marry. I literally can’t think of a single reason why I would ever let him get away.
Anyway thanks for reading, hope you all had a lovely weekend, and those of you who got to see the aurora I’m happy for you but you suck, lol.

Things have been busy here so I thought I would catch up on our two latest race adventures.
It's time for another race, so I hook up to the trailer and bring it to work. The Miata has been in the enclosed trailer since I ran it through the Christmas parade, but now it is time to wake it from it's winter slumber and start preparing it for Barber, our 10th 24 Hours of Lemons race.
The car should not need much as we ran nearly flawless at the last race at Road America. We had one spin and the wing mounts broke but that was about it.
I get it to the shop and we hurry up and start in. I already have one bay tied up with the next car we are building (more on that later, it is epic) and can't afford to tie up a second during business hours. Youngest jumps in and rebuilds the entire wing assembly. Manny comes by and drives the car to his place and keeps it there until a few more parts come in. It's a block or two away from the shop, we can nearly see it from the front sidewalk. No plates, no insurance, no problem.
Next we change out the brake pads, front rotors, front brake hoses and rear pads. We also change the timing belt after a debate on exactly how many race hours the old one has. Change the oil and the car is ready to load.
Racerguy comes down and we leave out Thursday night. I am driving a little fast as the website shows the gates close at 9 and our gps says we are expected to get there at 9.01. A quick fuel stop and a brisket sandwich at Buccees off I65 in Alabama and we are rolling on through the night.
Finally we get to Barber Motorsports park in Leeds Alabama. Just before 9pm we get in line and get signed in. The team ahead of us is just realizing they lost a wheel off their enclosed sometime on their tow in. The way I was driving before we stopped for fuel I could have lost the car out the back like in the movie Cars and not noticed. Luckily everything seems to be in one piece, we give everything a check over and drop the trailer and head off to the hotel which is thankfully just across the street from the entrance to the track.
The next morning we are up early. No Gill this race as he has had foot surgery and is out of commission, which means we are sorely missing his cooking skills. So we take advantage of the breakfast at the hotel and head over to the track. After we unload the car we have a discussion which ends with us moving across the paddock to the far side as the side we have had for the last few years is shorter and we can't park the trailer in that area as the new trailer is about ten foot longer than the old open trailer.
After the first of two drivers meetings of the weekend (many tracks do the practice day and hold their own drivers meeting to explain their own rules, then the next day Lemons runs the race and has their drivers meeting) we load a driver in the car and send him out to practice. Rinse and repeat until we have sent all the drivers out for a few laps.
By then it is time for inspections. First off all the tech inspection. They have a big crew this race but our favorite inspector Dale Strimple is there. He's knowledgeable, affable and very popular among all the racers. Every day is also his birthday, a story best told later. He and the other tech people soon pass our car then it's time for BS tech.
We have gone all out this race for our theme. This has been a long time thought of mine, it just took a while to get it enacted. So for context I am a cancer survivor and we are always doing crazy themes to try and draw attention to the importance of early detection in cancer improving your chances. In the past we have done free colonscopy tests with huge antique cameras and motor oil for props which thankfully no one took us up on. Later we have done dinosaurs with the inflatable dino costumes to bring home the point that that "dinosaurs never got checked and now they are extinct" which is also on the side of the car. It was popular, I mean who doesn't like to see a inflatable dinosaur walking around?
Today we have again upped our game. We are taking a scene from one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, Johnny Dangerously. There's a part where Micheal Keaton's character is counseling his younger brother not to have sex until he is married, which is funny in itself because Micheals character is always surrounded by a crowd of ladies who apparently are all competing for his affections. Anyhow he shows his brother this video of all these poor guys who are suffering from poor choices that have caused them to have severely enlarged testicles. Like basketball sized. Watch it sometime, it's hilarious. So we made up special pants to hold some dodgeballs and shirts that said: "mens health is no joke, get checked before you croak!" We got a lot of attention for that and even made the wrap video. Walking in those pants with the dodgeballs was not easy!
The next day it's race day. It could not be a nicer day in Alabama. Temps are great, sun is shining. We get through the drivers meeting and line up the cars. Racerguy is going first, we are trying to balance our drivers so that everyone gets one start or one finish for the weekend. It's fun to finish the race or the day and fun to start as well.
The flag drops and we are off. It was a complete fiasco at the start! Someone oiled down half the track on the pace laps and the track was not ready when they dropped the green. It was an immediate yellow but cars where stacking up and passing then realizing the yellow was out. Race control messed up that one pretty badly. It took another ten minutes to clean the track. Finally it really is time for a start and we go green for real. Racerguy is driving smooth as always and moving up. He brings the car from 87th out of 131 cars there to a respectable 39th when the first incident happens. A car spins and hits our rf wheel. Racerguy didn't think much of it but they flagged him in anyway. While in the penalty box we realize the rf is going flat. I did not see it then but by the time we get the car up to our spot in the paddock the wheel is destroyed. We slap another wheel on and send him back out. We lost nearly all the spots we gained, dropping to 78th on the board. Sucks but it happens.
The rest of his stint goes great and he brings the car back to pit road and we put in Youngest. He is running great and the car is showing no signs of any issues from the earlier contact. He starts making up ground and we get all the way up to 54th. Then I get a radio call. "The car is on fire and stopped running!"
What?!!! I radio back asking if he needs to get out of the car. "I'm trying to decide that" Ok, maybe not such a big fire then? We have to wait for more information and in a few minutes the rollback shows up with him in the car. We have had a wiring fire from the passenger side floorboard where the stock PCM harness is. I immediately think the car is done but after Youngest gets some fresh air he jumps in and cuts all the burnt wires out and patches it all up. Start to finish we are off the track an hour and a half and drop to 90th.
I suit up and take the car out to see if it will run or not. It struggles and will only get up to 45, so I bring it right back in. Youngest thinks he knows exactly what is wrong and jumps in again and patches one more wire. I go out and the car is spot on. I start clicking off laps and trying some things the guys said to do to improve on my lap times. There's a few parts where I just need to be more aggressive and roll through and trust the car more. I pick up about four seconds off my best time and am pretty pleased by that. The car runs flawless for the rest of my stint and I bring it back to pit road for the crew to fuel and driver change. We put Manny in the car and send him out. He's running some fast laps and really pushing the car. All the sudden we realize we do not see the car going by. One of the other teams say our car is in the wall on the front stretch. Manny comes over the radio "I FUBAR'ed it" Great, The front stretch at Barber is one of the places I have noted will bite you pretty hard. I have seen a few Lemons cars get really messed up there including a 63 Valiant last year. I am expecting the worst when the roll back comes by with the car for the second time this day.
It's pretty bad. The nose is knocked sideways, the steering is all out of sorts, a closer look reveals the lf tie rod is broken. The right rear is all messed up, the wheel is pushed so far forward it is into the quarter panel and won't even turn. We put the car up on jack stands and look it over. Not good. But there's glimmers of hope. The radiator is not broke. The engine is still fine. The core of the car seems square. And we have almost an entire Miata in parts in totes in our trailer. Maybe we can fix this. I start dragging out parts and we start changing them. The tie rod on the front is soon changed and we now have both wheels pointing the same direction. Youngest takes the nose off and straightens the brackets that hold it and the splitter in place and adds a whole lot of zip ties.
On the rear it just keeps going and going deeper. We change the knuckle, the lower control arm and the upper. We spend a long time saving the bolt that goes through the lower control arm and knuckle, we do not have another. This one is bent and has questionable threads too. In true lemons never say die fashion we beat it out of the bent parts, straighten it and when we cannot find the correct die to chase the threads we use one that is close and pray it works. It does, but then we get it all back together and realize even with all the parts replaced we still have two inches of rear toe. Just a wee more than the 1/16th we started with.
Turns out the rear subframe is bent, so we all go out and start walking the pits looking to borrow a port a power. This small hydraulic jack comes with rams and other attachments and has a pump attached to a hose so you can jack and bend parts that are bent like ours. We actually end up borrowing two after searching almost every team that is still around. It's getting dark, rain is moving in after midnight and the clock is ticking on the car being done. Is it fixable or is the damage terminal? There are three guys under the car jacking and measuring and I am handing them parts and tools and making a run for food.
In a dramatic fashion, they pull it out. I run for food and they finally announce the car is perfect. I think they worked until nearly midnight, but everything they measured was on the money. It was an amazing effort and a huge comeback. We all fall into an exhausted sleep wondering if the car will drive good tomorrow or did we miss something important.
The next morning dawns and as expected its raining. And colder. I cannot emphasize enough just how wet and cold it was. All day long it rained and I think the temps dropped. Made for a miserable day, pretty sure even a duck would have been unhappy.
I go out first, I had called this stint early on. Sometimes you have to pull the car owner card. It's a two hour stint then a quiet hour then the race resumes.
We gas up the car and I line up. The car seems to drive straight, but it is raining and the track is slippery so who really knows? The car stumbles a bit on accel and I wonder if we outsmarted ourselves with our home made ram air system that sucks air from right below where the left headlight was. It keeps on doing that for a few laps then finally gets better.
Driving in the rain is not without it's challenges. You have to drive very carefully and not push the car too hard. The fun part is the Miata goes straight when you floor it so anytime I get a chance I gas it up and go hard to the next corner where I slow down and ease through it. Soon enough another issue arises. The windshield starts fogging up. It gets real bad on yellow flags where we all slow down then gets better if I have a good run at speed, but there are times a smart person would have pulled off as you cannot see much at all. But most of us aren't real smart. I can't reach the windshield or I would try to wipe it. The temptation is there to loosen the belts and get enough room to reach but even I am not that crazy. I keep the belts tight but do take off one glove and give it a few swipes under a long yellow then hasten to put the gloves back on. There's probably not much chance of a fire in these conditions but no sense chancing it. I've seen pictures of burns from race car incidents and they aren't pretty.
On one corner I make a mistake, I get off line to let a really aggressive car go by. It's the Party Girl car and they are hyper aggressive. If you would think they would wait to pass until you get through a critical part you'd be wrong, they typically will jam their car in wherever they can and go on. Other fast cars are a bit more respectful and do a better job on the give and take. Not wanting to make an issue, I get over and promptly realize there is zero grip outside on this corner and slide through the grass. I go to penalty and explain what happened. The judge asks if I learned anything, I said "Yes, next time to be a jerk" I might not have used that exact wording but I meant it. The same car also was what indirectly caused the wreck the day before, their aggressive driving was what caused Manny to get the red mist when they did the same thing passing him. He over drove the car after that and lost it. Mental note to drive them the same way going forward, we both can be hyper aggressive and see where that leads. We have a few more cars to build in the driveway if need be.
After my two hours are up, I bring the car in and explain about the terrible fogging and vision issue. Manny goes out after the quiet hour and slides off the track for black flag number two. It's just very nasty out there and cars are going off all the time. We fix up a ice scraper with a rag tied to it to give the driver a method of clearing the fog. It's primative but way better than nothing. The drivers report they used it quite a bit the rest of the day. It's just gloomy and the race is going on, but cars are hydroplaning if they get into the water which is starting to pool on parts of the track. The rest of us are watching from inside Manny's car with the heat on, it's gotten that cold and wet.
We are so far behind now we aren't bothering to suit up and go to pit lane. Rather we bring the car up to the pumps, get the driver out and fuel and put the next driver in. It's still raining and not having to get anymore wet than necessary is a plus. Racerguy gets flagged in after he's run about half his stint and he has no idea why. Apparently the cameras show what they thought was contact in the corner, he says he got real close and braked hard to avoid it. The car shows no new signs of contact. The judge tells us one more flag and he's parking us for the rest of the day. Over contact that someone thought they saw on camera that apparently never happened. (I went to look this up on our go pro footage but the chip glitched and we had no footage)
Racerguy goes out and finishes. He reports the same as Manny, the track is getting increasingly treacherous. Very few cars are getting around good, if you have a front wheel drive with skinny tires, today was your day. I saw a escort wagon running laps as fast as us and later the Dodge Caravan passed us.
Youngest goes out and after about 15 minutes I notice the lap counter is not updating. I look outside the trailer and he is in the car, sitting there. We go out and he announces he cannot drive the car anymore, it's sideways all the time. I ask if he wants to load the car and he said yes. I don't object. We race for the fun of it, and at that point none of us were having fun. We loaded in the rain and left before the race was over. Many other teams had already done the same. Some were gone before the day ever started. We have raced in the rain before but this was the worst conditions I have ever seen on the track. Barber is a top notch facility, it was just such a lingering rain and the temps being below 40 made it miserable. The vision and grip levels seemingly got worse as the day went on and the water built up and the temps dropped. We saw a lot of big problems and overcame many. Probably if we were not so exhausted from fixing the car and were in the hunt for anything we might have stayed until the end. As it were, we dropped from 65th to 67th or so. Time to rebuild and get dried out and ready for the next race.

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1azq8ri/i_was_invited_to_play_the_games_in_the_woods_and/
When I was very young, my grandfather used to always tell me to stay out of the woods behind our house.
"Legend has it, that there's something terrible in there." He'd say, pointing to the trees behind our home with his only arm, the other of which he'd told me he had lost in the war. "And no one who goes in, ever comes back the same."
But I never took his warnings very seriously, given his age, and hard life, writing them off as the ramblings of a senile and bitter old man.
At least until a few years later, when, at the age of ten, I was told by my mother that my grandfather had passed…
...And had left me a parting gift.
It was a crumpled envelope with the word "Bobby" scribbled onto the back, sealed with more tape than an envelope needed sealing.
Inside, was a folded piece of paper, which, upon unfolding, I noticed my grandfather had sketched the layout of what looked like three games.
Beside the first two games, he had written instructions for what looked like how to beat them.
"Don't go in the box."
"Don’t run."
Beside the third, were a couple more notes.
"Don’t lift it alone."
"This is as far as I made it, before I lost my arm."
And at the very bottom of the page, Grandpa had addressed me directly.
"Bobby, if you receive an invitation to play the games in the woods, do not accept it. Run as far away as you can. But in the event you end up there anyway, may these instructions help you finish what I started."
Games in the woods? I thought to myself. After all the warnings, and all the lectures, Grandpa was trying to protect me from games?
I found the whole thing quite silly, and resolved to put it out of my mind.
And so, that's exactly what I did, burying away both the loss of my Grandfather, and the gift that he had left for me, for four long years.
That is, until, at the age of fourteen, when I was a freshman in high school, I received a scroll on my doorstep, tied together with a thorny vine.
After carefully unraveling it, I discovered an invite to the very games that my Grandfather had warned me about, grotesquely handwritten in ink.
"Bobby,
Join us in the forest behind your house tonight, to compete in the games in the woods.
Don't be late. The games will begin promptly at midnight."
I laughed out loud and immediately tore up the scroll on the spot.
But who could be the one pranking me? I wondered. Surely my mom wasn't in on it? Who could have known about the invitation that my Grandfather referenced? Maybe my Uncle Frank? He's always been a jokester. Yes, it must be Uncle Frank.
And on that note, I went about my day, and completely forgot about the scroll.
That is, until later that night, when, while fast asleep, I suddenly felt myself torn from my bed, stuffed into what felt like a canvas satchel, and dragged out my window and, from the sound of it, what must have been through the woods behind my house.
The whole time, I tried my best to kick and scream…
"This isn't funny, Uncle Frank! I know what you're up to!"
...But Uncle Frank, or so I thought, was much too strong to break free from, and the next thing I knew, I found myself dropped into the middle of the forest, and my satchel ripped away.
"Uncle Frank?" I called out, unable to see my surroundings in the dark.
Until my eyes adjusted, and I looked up to find a hooded figure, wearing a tattered brown cloak and holding a burning torch that illuminated everything around him, save for what lay under his shadowy hood.
What the heck? I thought to myself. That's not Uncle Frank.
The shrouded man said no words, and simply pointed to a footbridge, lit by torchlight, not far away, and gestured for me to cross it.
Realizing now that this wasn't Uncle Frank's doing, and in turn, that the letter, and my Grandfather's warning, must both be real, I began shaking in fear and, not knowing what else to do, obeyed the hooded figure's order.
When I got to the other side, I found myself surrounded by what must have been twenty of the hooded man's kin, all holding torches, and encircling a glen in the forest, where the moon and the stars could now be seen in the night sky.
And in the center of the glen, were four poor souls. Kids like me, who must have also received the invitation, or been dragged here against their will, or both. Kids, from my high school, that I recognized.
There was Brad Ashworth, our class valedictorian, in a sweater vest, khakis, and boots, clearly prepared for the occasion…
...Caitlin Sullivan, whom many kids called a nerd, geek, dweeb, and weirdo, but whom I found to be perfectly normal, wearing a pair of overalls and round, wire frame glasses…
...Colin Richardson, in a running suit, a jock, known for excelling at at least three sports, football, track, and basketball..
...And none other than Milton Dugan, the biggest bully in school, best known for using his sheer size to jam freshmen into lockers, wearing a pair of polka dot pajamas.
"Shut up, loser." He called out to me, noticing the smile on my face when I saw what he was wearing.
"What do you think they are?" Colin asked me, pointing to the hooded figures.
"I have no idea. But I don't think they're friendly." I replied.
Until Caitlin chimed in, "They're Druids, idiots."
"Whatever they are, I'm not scared of them." Brad added.
That's when it hit me.
Who would bring five high school students out into the middle of the woods to teach them a lesson? Well, teachers of course. That must be it! Teachers! Yes, it's teachers under those hoods!
But before I could continue to dwell on my epiphany, we were all suddenly interrupted, by the sound of a loud howl emanating from the forest.
And then…
...An old man with a white beard came hobbling out of the woods, walking stick in one hand, and an object that I couldn’t identify in his other.
It was only when he reached the center of the glen, and stopped just a few feet away from us, that I noticed he was missing something…
...The reflection of light in his eyes.
And upon further observation, it became apparent…
...That he had no eyes at all.
What the? I thought to myself, before gasping, as the old man began to speak.
"Invited ones. You stand before me tonight, under the light of the moon, with a great challenge before you. A challenge that only comes around every seventy-five years. Each of you, were hand picked to play these games tonight, for each of you represent a unique virtue. Five virtues put to the same test, to see which will overcome all others. The winner, will be awarded the greatest prize of all. While the losers, will pay a heavy price."
The other four kids and I turned to each other with looks of confusion, then turned back to the old man, who continued.
"But before we begin. Which of you, knows for a fact, that you are the best player among us? Which of you, is so brave, so courageous, so sure of your abilities, that you'll volunteer to step into the box?" He asked, pointing to an area of the glen, that had been covered in darkness, but until the Druids lit it with torchlight.
It was a wooden box, about the size of a telephone booth, completely enclosed with what appeared to be a door on one side and a metal latch to open it.
The Box! I thought to myself, remembering my Grandfather's letter, outlining three games, and assuming the first of which was this one.
"Don't go in the box.”
Easy enough. I mused, looking over at the other kids, waiting for one of them to heed the call instead, until…
"It's me. I'm the smartest, and the most talented one here. I'll do it." Brad called out, raising his hand, before turning back to us, "Cowards."
"Very well," The old man replied, walking over to the box, opening the door, and gesturing for him to enter.
And so he did.
Oh no. I thought to myself, as all of us kids cringed in anticipation of something unspeakable happening inside.
But after a minute, the old man simply walked back over to the door, opened it, and let Brad out.
He came proudly walking out of it, chest in the air, with a smug smile on his face, and belted out the words. "See! Nothing to fear, fraidy cats."
Despite his obnoxious comment, we all let out a sigh of relief.
Until suddenly, a few of the druids grabbed Brad by the arms, and pinned him to the box.
"What's going on? What are you doing?" Our valedictorian cried out, unsure of what exactly was happening.
The hooded men proceeded to pry open his jaws with their hands, as the old man hobbled over to him, revealing the object in his hand… a sharp, silver sword.
But before any of us could react, the old druid had already reached into Brad's mouth, cut off his tongue, and held it up for all to see.
Brad began crying and wailing, blood spraying from his mouth, as the druids let him go and he fell to the ground, arms flailing in pain.
Meanwhile, the rest of us kids just stood there, wide eyed in fear, unable to comprehend what we had just seen.
"That was Game One." The old man called out to us. "Let it be a lesson, that your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. In this case, confidence begets arrogance. Now, take him away."
Upon his command, two druids ran over to Brad, who was now passed out, picked him up, and carried him away into the woods.
"Let's move on to Game Two, shall we?" The eyeless old man continued, leading us, and the other druids, out of the glen, into the forest, down a torchlit path, and to a massive field, illuminated by the moonlight.
He then took his staff, stuck it into the ground, and carved a long line in the dirt.
"Will the remaining players please stand behind the line."
Still in shock from what had just happened, we all obeyed his command, lining up before the line in the dirt, which separated us from the football field sized lawn.
"Are you gonna hurt one of us again?" Milton called out, puffing out his chest. "Cause I'm not afraid of you guys, and I’m fully capable of defending myself!"
The old man ignored his rant, and continued on with his own, "The rules of the second game are simple. When I say go, you're to run with the wolves."
"Wolves?" Caitlin whispered to me, trying to understand he meant.
Just then, a group of druids emerged from the forest, leading four ravenous wolves on leashes to the field behind us, each of them drooling at the mouth while howling and growling at us maniacally.
Caitlin and I shared a brief look of horror, before the eyeless man stepped aside and called out, "Go!"
Colin was the first one to sprint off into the field, followed by Caitlin, and then, what would have been me, but when I began to dart away, something jutted out in front of my legs and tripped me to the ground.
Confused by what had happened, I looked up from the dirt to see Milton hopping over me…
"Sucker!"
...As I realized that it must have been he who had tripped me, and saw the Druids unleash the four wolves.
I hopped up to my feet and attempted to run again, but before they hit the ground, the wolves had already caught up to me.
In that moment, I closed my eyes and braced for the worst, but when I opened them again, I saw that they had run right past me, seemingly in pursuit of the others up ahead.
But as I continued to watch the wolves run away, I noticed that they soon passed Milton too, and then Caitlin, finally making their way to Colin, who was running so fast, that he disappeared into whatever lay beyond the field.
And then, the feral dogs stopped running, just before the end of the field, and began howling and growling again, and they looked down at something below them.
Eventually catching up with the others and making my way to the end of the field, Caitlin, Milton, and myself finally saw what had happened to Colin.
There, at the end of the field, was a great pit, and at the bottom, was the star athlete himself, writhing in pain and begging for our help.
"Help me!" Colin called out, clenching his legs, which must have broken from the fall.
"Does anyone have a rope or anything we can lower down to him?" Caitlin asked.
But the druids had just arrived, and were already lowering one down to Colin.
And by the time they pulled him up, still screaming out in pain, the old eyeless druid had arrived, ready to greet him.
"Why would you put a pit at the end of the race?" Colin screamed, as he lay helpless on the ground.
"You said to run from the wolves."
"I said to run with the wolves, not from them. They mean no harm, just look at your friends here. But you. You got ahead of yourself. And for that, there is a price." The old man warned.
"Price? I already broke my legs." Colin replied.
"Well now, we take them." The eyeless man said ominously, before the druids surrounded Colin and held him down, as another approached him holding a giant scythe, its blade glimmering in the moonlight.
"Wait! No!" He cried out.
But it was too late. In an instant, one of his legs was gone. Severed from his body by the swinging scythe, as blood sprayed everywhere, and Colin screamed in agony.
A second later, I saw Caitlin remove her glasses and wipe the blood from them, before putting them back on and continuing to watch on silently in horror.
"What is wrong with you guys?" Milton called out, clenching his fists and pacing around in a threatening fashion.
For a moment, I thought about cursing out Milton for tripping me, but then I realized he had actually saved me.
And that's when I remembered my Grandfather's second clue.
"Don't run."
He was right again.
"Take him away." The old man said for a second time, as a group of druids walked over and proceeded to carry Colin off into the woods, before turning to Milton, Caitlin, and myself.
"And now for Game Three."
He then led us back into the forest, and down a rocky path that hugged a winding stream.
At the end of the path, we came to a clearing between the trees, where we saw two giant boulders, each nearly the size of a person, placed side by side on the ground.
"For this game, you have an option. Lift a boulder yourself, or pick a teammate to help you lift it. The person or team who holds it the longest, wins. And the one who's first to drop it, loses. Understand?"
Milton, Caitlin, and I all looked at each other for a moment, as we weighed the options.
But suddenly, I remembered my Grandfather’s third instruction.
"Don’t lift it alone."
And before Milton could utter a word, I ran over to Caitlin.
"Caitlin and I will be a team." I declared, as she smiled, and put her arm around my shoulder.
"But what about me?" Milton asked, offended by being the odd man out, before correcting himself. "Actually, you know what? Fine! I'm stronger than both of you combined anyway. This will be your own undoing, dorks! I'll compete by myself."
"Very well," the old man called out, as he stood between the two stones. "When I say go, lift the boulders up off the ground, for as long as you can."
Caitlin and I crouched down and gripped the boulder from below, then looked at each other.
"We got this." I assured her with a smile.
"We got this." She replied, smiling back.
Meanwhile, Milton was scrambling to grasp onto his boulder, and began begging for more time. "Just a second, I swear. This boulder's heavier on one side and it's just-"
But before he could continue, the old man raised his staff and called out, "Go!" at the top of his lungs.
Caitlin and I carefully and calmly lifted our boulder, and despite its heavy weight, strained ourselves to keep it elevated above the ground.
But Milton was not as lucky. From the very beginning, he was doomed, as he still hadn't secured his grip on the rock when the old man yelled "Go!" and bumbled when he lifted it up, catching it in hands, but in an position that looked much too uncomfortable for him sustain.
And as the stone slowly began to slip out of his arms, Milton looked over at Caitlin and I with a sour face and mumbled, "You screwed me, losers."
"Maybe if you weren't such a dick, Milton, someone might have chosen you." I replied, in an attempt to drive home the reason why he had lost.
Milton tried to think of a clever retort, "You know what, Bobby-" but before he could finish his sentence, it was too late. The stone had fallen to the ground. He stopped what he was saying and looked down at it, a look of fear washing over his face.
And as the druids began to surround him, rather than threaten them like he had in the past, Milton began to cry. "Please don't hurt me! Please, I'll do anything!"
But it was too late. The druids dragged Milton to the stump of a tree and laid his arm down upon it, as another swung an ax high above his head, and brought it slicing down through Milton's arm, leaving him with a stump of his own.
As he saw the blood pouring out of his appendage, Milton began to scream, until his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he eventually passed out.
And for a third time, the eyeless old man called out, "Take him away."
Now, only Caitlin and I remained. Together we stood there in silence, arms around each other, as Milton's limp body was carried off into the woods.
"Which brings us to Game Four," the old druid began, "Perhaps the simplest of all. For this game is decided by you and you alone. When I say go, you'll have one minute to come to a decision on who will be the winner, and who will be the loser."
Caitlin replied "Wait-"
But before she could continue, the old man interrupted her, commencing the final game, "Go!"
Caitlin and I huddled together in the woods, as the old man, and the druids, encircled us, waiting for us to come to a consensus.
"Wait, what do we do?" Caitlin whispered.
"I don't know." I whispered back.
"Should we choose both of us as the winners?"
"No, we'd be breaking the rules. He specified a winner and a loser. They'll punish us both. We need to choose one."
"But that means one of us, will suffer the same fate as the others."
"I don't know if we have any other choice.”
"Then how should we decide?"
"I don't know."
"Wait," Caitlin said, as she reached into the pocket of her overalls and removed a coin. "If you're okay with it. A coin toss would be fair. Totally up to chance.”
"It would be fair. Let's do it. But quick." I replied, knowing our minute would soon end.
"Then you choose. Heads or tails." She offered up.
"Okay. Um... heads!" I replied quickly.
And like that, Caitlin held out her fist…
...Dropped the coin…
...Towards the forest floor below…
...Time suddenly slowing…
...As it descended towards the ground…
...Spinning…
...And spinning…
…And spinning…
...Until…
...Thud.
We both crouched down, and saw the result that would seal our fate forever…
…Heads.
I had won.
Caitlin looked up at me, her eyes wide, and her mouth agape, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"It's okay." She whispered back.
And then…
...The old man spoke.
"Your time is up. What is your decision? Who is the winner, and who is the loser?"
Both Caitlin and my heads hung low, as she began to speak, "I'm the-"
"Winner." I interrupted, as she looked at me, completely surprised by what I had said. "She's the winner, and I'm the loser."
"But Bobby-" She whispered.
"Save yourself. Don't worry about me." I insisted, whispering back to her, as the old man approached us.
"Very well." He said, holding his wrinkled hand out to Caitlin, who accepted it in hers.
And so, he escorted her away, off into the woods, hobbling on his wooden staff, until they disappeared into the night.
And as for me. I… well I was left there in the dark, surrounded by a dozen druids, who slowly closed in on me.
I didn't know what to do so I, accepting my fate, simply closed my eyes and braced for the worst…
...But similar to what had come of the impending doom of the howling wolves...
...Nothing happened.
I opened my eyes, to find one of the druids standing before me.
"Congratulations..." He said, in an ominous voice, "...On winning the games."
"What?" I asked, confused how that could be possible. "I don't understand. I voted for Caitlin to be the winner."
"Yes, you did." He replied, "But humility is the virtue that always wins the games. Your selfless act, sacrificing your own life for that of another's, is why you won."
"And what do I win?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.
"Just as the keeper of the games had stated, the greatest prize of all..." He said, "..Life."
"And what about Caitlin? What will become of her?"
"That is still yet to be decided. But you will find out soon enough."
Any sort of relief that I had felt immediately disappeared, and my heart sank, as I realized that by volunteering my own life to save Caitlin's, I may have actually cost her hers.
"Wait," I called out, "Let me take her place. Please."
But before I could continue, I felt the druids shove a giant canvas satchel over me, just as they'd done earlier that night, before whisking me away into the forest.
They must have knocked me out after that, because when I came to, I found myself back in my bedroom, lying face first on the cold, wooden floor.
The next day at school, I raced to Caitlin's locker, and then her home room, desperately hoping to see her face, hoping to put my mind at ease…
...But she never showed up. That day… or ever again.
And as for Brad, Colin, and Milton, their claims about how they lost their respective body parts, despite being substantiated by me, were all written off by police, parents, and teachers alike as foolish accidents, when no such games were ever found in the woods.
Years later, as my wife and I discuss having a child, I find myself wondering if I'll ever have a grandchild of my own…
...If they, too, will be invited to play the games in the woods, the next time the druids come around…
...And if Caitlin will be one of them.

KEEP GOING

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9 hours away from now

last night i had a dream that i met your best friend and your mom. Your friend was distracted and that made you upset. he was fumbling around in the kitchen doing other things and i could see you getting tense because you wanted him to like me. your mom liked me though. i said something to make her laugh. we were laughing and walking outside somewhere. it was an unfamiliar landscape. i woke up laughing and my first thought was to tell you that hey, your mom likes me. but i cant tell you something like that. because that would be unfair. your mom will never meet me and probably not your best friend either.
you told me that one of my poems made him cry. that it was reigniting the love between him and his partner. ironic isnt it? our heartbreak makes their love stronger.
as i sit here at 1 o'clock in the morning, i wonder if texting is equal to thinking. like, do you think about me even if you arent texting me? or does your lack of text mean that you have found peace tonight somewhere else? i waiver between wanting you to be happy and wanting you to long for me. we fell in love together simultaneously, living parallel stories and not knowing it. do you think we will fall out of love the same way? on two seperate sides of a wall?
i think this will all pass. the only reason im holding on so tight is because I dont think ill ever get to feel this way again. feelings are overpowering logic tonight. nights are for feeling anyways.
i stay up all day to be someone for him, and i stay up all night to be someone different for you. i need an extra place between night and day to be someone for me.
i told you i had a plan, and i did. it sounded good at first and man it just felt good to be in control again. i wrote it all out. steps one through five. by step five it stopped looking like a plan and started to just look like moving on.
pain fills my body again, making me 50 pounds heavier. i sunk into the couch and opened this note to write, write, write. I write what i cannot say. i write to contain my feelings so as not to scare you with it all.
funny how i told you i wasnt a romantic. well now you know. i heard the way you said it to yourself out loud, like realizing even more reasons why im a caged bird. you shook your head.
but dont feel bad for me. im trapped in a cage of my own making. no one put me here and no one has the key. i know its easier for you to think you can save me from the dragon in the tower. i am the dragon.
but hey, i do love you. i think i do. i mean i could name five things i dont like about you but i love you. i love your mind and the way you make things go easier. quiet and simple against my raging impatience. you stood still and i walked. i asked you why you stopped and you said you wanted to see how necessary it was for me to keep moving. well it was necessary, until i met you and i decided i wanted to stay here. but life is moving me. its always had a heavy current. waves lift me and throw me, so i learned how to be one myself. i crash over everything. i would probably crash over you too.
you wanna know what i think about alot? the way you look when you chew your food. isnt that odd? your face gets really serious and you furrow your brow a little bit. someone in a movie reminded me so much of you. if i told you who it was you would laugh.
it's time for me to stop writing. my eyes are getting lower and lower and the numbness is turning into sleepyness. i wonder if ill have more dreams about you. i wonder if youll have dreams about me.
maybe we will both dream about that hillside tonight. i hope so.

I met this guy almost a month ago after our university clubs had a collaboration; first impression, I thought he was very kind and funny, as well as handsome (and his eyes are so beautiful). We followed each other on instagram (as well as others in our friend groups), and I posted a story on instagram with some music; he slid up saying he liked the song, and ever since we’ve been talking and sending each other videos. We haven’t been talking every single day, but I’m not too concerned about that. He likes some of my stories (though I do notice he has liked all of my stories where I posted selfies or pics with friends), and sometimes slides up if I post something funny. I already added him to my close friends story, and we follow each other on TikTok. We have similar interests (both study for the same career pathway, both enjoy basketball, play chess, watch the same type of shows/movies, have the same sense of humor, etc). My friends have all been encouraging me to confess my feelings to him and see how he reacts, but I just feel very nervous. I don’t have the best self-esteem and can’t imagine anyone being attracted to me… also it may be too soon? I mean we’ve only actually known each other for a month. And because we go to different schools, I’m not able to see him as often (although since we met last month, I’ve seen him in person two more times and we hung out each time with friends). The other thing about him is that he’s sooo nice to everyone, so I can’t even tell if he actually likes me, or if he’s just being his kind self. Also, lately I’ve been feeling like I’m carrying our conversations more than him and I’m just overthinking that maybe he’s lost interest (if he even had any to start). I just need some advice…

I met this guy almost a month ago after our university clubs had a collaboration; first impression, I thought he was very kind and funny, as well as handsome (and his eyes are so beautiful). We followed each other on instagram (as well as others in our friend groups), and I posted a story on instagram with some music; he slid up saying he liked the song, and ever since we’ve been talking and sending each other videos. We haven’t been talking every single day, but I’m not too concerned about that. He likes some of my stories (though I do notice he has liked all of my stories where I posted selfies or pics with friends), and sometimes slides up if I post something funny. I already added him to my close friends story, and we follow each other on TikTok. We have similar interests (both study for the same career pathway, both enjoy basketball, play chess, watch the same type of shows/movies, have the same sense of humor, etc). My friends have all been encouraging me to confess my feelings to him and see how he reacts, but I just feel very nervous. I don’t have the best self-esteem and can’t imagine anyone being attracted to me… also it may be too soon? I mean we’ve only actually known each other for a month. And because we go to different schools, I’m not able to see him as often (although since we met last month, I’ve seen him in person two more times and we hung out each time with friends). The other thing about him is that he’s sooo nice to everyone, so I can’t even tell if he actually likes me, or if he’s just being his kind self. Also, lately I’ve been feeling like I’m carrying our conversations more than him and I’m just overthinking that maybe he’s lost interest (if he even had any to start). I just need some advice…

I'll do my best to recount this, but I admit it's tough to reach back and remember the surprise that came with youthful innocence as you meet your own sexual experiences, and nothing is ever as it was described to be, expected to be, some things are worse, some things are great despite seeming yucky at a glance, and some things just don't matter as much as others said.
Best to describe "virginal me" as someone dedicated to her family's devout Christian faith. Never really questioning the faith itself, I didn't totally get how this stuff would work in a practical way as I started having urges and desires towards boys. And I thought I was just a-waitin' to be some homemaking wife, a baby factory... basically everything that I was told I wanted. I believed that I must want these things too!
I'll say this much - I'd made it to high school around this time, and this was a fairly average age for many women to try sexual things. Won't get more specific than that, just in case. And I became very aware of the sort of 'fresh meat' mentality that makes young girls practically competitive with each other -- you know, the things we'll do to keep a boys interest.
So, sure. I had a few boyfriends. My first real kiss, I remember praying for most of the night because I was afraid I liked it too much, and certainly would become a whore overnight, and what's up with these hormones doin' witchcraft without my permission, anyways?
Anyways, in a tale as old as time, I assume, a new family moves in up the street, I'm immediately crushing on the son of this family, and he seemed older, but not by much. I was wrong on this one, he was 22, but I didn't know that, and it certainly wasn't love, but it was at least lust at first sight. I could fin the sin boling inside of me already. Tried to ignore him.
And by trying to ignore him, I mean I'd get as gussied up as possible to simply take a walk around the block while he played basketball alone and shirtless outside, daydreaming about what I might do if he said hello.
Let's try to speed up to get to the parts that probably matter more to you. Oddly, I don't quite remember how we got formally introduced to each other, but we started spending some time together. We were the only people on this whole block under 30 so it just worked out this way. He (and his family) drank, smoked cigarettes, and some other inhalable things. Before him (and we'll call him "Alan"), I thought those were the direct paths to hell. Watching him consume? It felt grown up, mature, like I was living a taboo just for being nearby and able to smell the smoke and beer breath on him.
Before too long he asked me about guys at my school, I did the bashful "no one really notices me" response which was ultimately true but I also had made many concerted decisions and efforts to not get noticed -- I was seen as a goody two shoes church girl and was the butt of many, many jokes. He asked what types of guys I like, and I told him I didn't know, and that was true. Listed off some virtues like honesty, being funny, attractive, and he gave me a "well, that's me". We talked about the difference in age, I laughed it off knowing he couldn't be serious, but asked him the same in return. I got a pretty different answer from him than mine. His list was quite a bit more shallow, but I figured it just covered the surface. He went on about not believing me, that high school boys were dumb (and they often are), that I'm too pretty to be single -- that one sent me over the moon.
Time blurs a lot of this. What felt like weeks of coming up with excuses to hang out with him between when I got home from school and before my parents came home was probably less than two weeks. I'll just get into some nitty gritty now, this is a bit forward in the story, but I don't see much reason to dwell on the priors.
Alan was almost a foot taller than me. Had longish blonde hair, and had that very nice athletic build from working off the alcohol playing basketball alone in the front yard. I loved watching his hips with each jump.
A specific day where I "accidentally" walked in front of his house on the way to mine, which meant I basically had to walk around the block backwards and undetected after getting off of the bus, he was outside smoking, beer in hand. Motioned me over, I don't recall all that was said, but he was talking about how much it sucked to be single. I told him again I'd never been in anything serious with a guy before. I was invited in, but this was the beginning of something different.
He lived in a converted carport/garage attached to his family's house. Just gray cinderblock walls surrounding the possessions of a man-child with very little ambition. Skull bongs with candle wax dripped all over them, a dusty loveseat, a mattress on the floor, no bedframe. No need for curtains as there were no windows. Just a door that would lead outside, and a door that would lead to the rest of the house, which I'd never seen before. But there we were, alone, and he asked if I wanted to see what he really looks for in a girl. Of course I did! And in no time flat, a few clicks of a remote control, and porn was playing on his dingy TV screen from a DVD player.
I'd seen some porn out of curiosity, and some other exposure, but not exactly a large amount of it. Had a general working knowledge of the most common things one might see, and a mental idea of what sets of genitalia looked like, as well as what they produce/excrete. Does that sound clinical? It should. At the time, most of my sexual knowledge was either general functionality, and a lot of "things women did to land a man but didn't really like doing". One of those things I'd heard even from my own mom was happening on the screen with precious little notice: an impossibly busty woman was blowing someone. Of course I pretended like this was no big deal and I watched porn allllll the time.
He went on to tell me that "any girl of his" would be really into doing that for him whenever he wanted. I'd asked if that had been common for him with ex's. He'd said something like "no, and that's why they are ex's. If I could get blowjobs anytime I wanted, I would literally never want anything else in bed", and there was a laugh, but a bit of seriousness to it as he looked at me and waited for my response. We talked a little more about the intricacies - sometimes it'd be fast like what was happening onscreen, sometimes it'd be really slow so he'd lay back and enjoy...then the money shot happened, conversation ceased as the random busty lady got her face coated. This is why I asked the million dollar question about if he expected to shellac his next girlfriends face with each blowjob. He told me, no. The rationale was that women only did that in porn so you could see that he really finished. HIS girls would swallow it.
Listen, I know how insane this probably sounds, but the idea that you'd ever consume that stuff was just like science fiction to me. Figured that if it tasted half okay, no one would ever have kids, really.
He used the remote, went to yet another POV blowjob scene, kind of groaning in happiness as he'd say things like "yeah, take it girl" or "yeah, you know you love being a dickeater". I hadn't heard him talk like this. Also, my hormones were somehow excited by it all.
I thought about things quickly; my understanding was that blowjobs were a pretty submissive act, but most of the women in my church seemed to submit to their husbands, and since I didn't recall anyone in the 'scare you out of premarital sex' sermons saying that blowjobs counted (because I really was this naive), I started wondering to myself if this was something I'd be okay with doing. Seemed like a direct line from giving Alan head to being his girlfriend.
But next to me, he started rubbing the bulge in his shorts. Over the cloth, but with a thumb tucked inside, like he'd planned to go exploring, but remembered I was in front of him. Even my naive ass knew he was hard. This seemed like a good time to ask him if he wanted me to leave, and he said I shouldn't since we were enjoying "the show" together. I won't pretend my hormones weren't twirling like crazy, but it was also pretty scary to me then. I'd try to stay on topic but ask other questions. One was along the lines of "If you had a girlfriend that did that for you whenever, what else would you expect out of her", and his answer was basically "do what I like in bed, the rest works itself out, and I probably wouldn't care past that". How many times a week? "You mean how many times a day", he'd say with a guffaw.
Mentally, I was weighing things, did I want to be his girlfriend so badly that I'd jump right into the unknown? Did I want to be a girlfriend at all? My hormones said yes to the latter, but weren't immediately sure of the former. I responded with something I don't quite recall, but measured up to "if all you want are blowjobs. I bet I'd be great at being your girlfriend"
He motioned towards his zipper and asked something like " do you mind if I...?", trailing off. I genuinely thought he wanted to excuse himself to rub one out, so I said I didn't mind. It was that fast that he had his dick out, stroking himself, and asked with all the gusto in the world: do I want to try it?
This, I remember like it was yesterday.
I said I'd have to be his girlfriend for that! "Want to be my girlfriend, then?" I'd mentioned I didn't know how to do it. "I'll show you how" That's all it takes? "If you swallow, you're definitely my girlfriend"
This girl didn't have a damn clue how relationships began, were handled, and every old adage I'd ever been told about sex acts that "keep men happy" came flooding into my mind. Maybe this was how you get a real boyfriend? Technically this "isn't sex"? It's like my life flashed before my eyes as he guided my head down. I looked down until I got too close to focus my eyes, seeing his blondish-brown pubic hair while he stroked his cock next to me. With a sigh and more butterflies in my stomach than most forests, I said "where do you want me?" and just that quickly, his hand went away from his cock and just guided my head riiiiiight down to it.
As soon as his cock, damp with precum, touched my lips, I instinctively opened my mouth and let him slide right in. "Showing me how to do it" meant "putting his hand on the back of my head and using my mouth in place of his hand". Beyond the obvious, he actually wasn't too pushy. It felt like a lot at the time. I marveled at how much bigger the head of his cock seemed in my mouth than just looking at it. No idea if he was looking at the screen or looking at me, I heard him cheering me on, quietly: "good girl", "just like that", "move your tongue more... JUST like that" while he kept my head going at a steady pace.
When he said "it always takes me longer to finish when I drink, sorry", I was pretty confused - I realized I didn't know how long these even took on average. He paused at one point to swig from his beer can, letting go of my head, saying "keep going baby". I'd never been called baby. I'd never been called a good girl. My brain and heart loved it, and I started mentally assuming this was now my fiance because I genuinely was that naive.
He was good with direction, yes, but no real moans. I didn't know I was to expect them, but for this reason, I had no metric to decide how long I'd been doing this, how long I should expect to be doing it, or anything. Just... swallow when he's done. I got more into it as my heart got more involved, and showed some initiative by choosing to bob my head faster (I really didn't know my way around a penis back then, so I assumed speed was the key), which got him to say something like "damn baby, you really like this!", when I was thinking "I don't know about that, I just really like YOU", but it instead came out as a muffled "mmhmm" -- because I didn't want him to think I was having a bad time.
In the moment, I didn't know if I was "having a good time". Looking back, I'm fairly sure that I was thinking "I really want him to be my boyfriend and this is how to make that happen", and my faith wasn't really entering my mind much once I felt him push my head. He never went so far as to gag me, but did keep steadily guiding me. Also, in looking back, I'm not sure why I wanted a boyfriend so badly -- the inexplicable desires of a teenage girl, I'd guess?
Back to the situation?
His grip on my head tightened, and I only had a second to think to myself "I must be doing something right" before he shot spurt after spurt after spurt of cum into my unsuspecting mouth. He grunted with each shot, and it was only really as his orgasm subsided that I really started getting anxious about what I'm supposed to be doing. Was I supposed to swallow it and leave? Do I take his dick out of my mouth first and then swallow, or try to do it with him shoved against my tonsils?
That was mostly answered with him pulling my head up, telling me it got really sensitive. He looked happy and almost sleepy. And then... "you going to swallow?"
This might be hard to believe, but I wasn't even thinking about if I liked the taste or not. It was all so new, especially this texture. I nodded that I would, and had to fight making a face as I choked it back, it hit my bitter tastebuds, and I shuddered a bit, and the aftertaste hit me of the saltiest and most bitter concoction I could have ever imagined.
Until I went home, everything that happened for the next few minutes is there in my memory as a blur, but I do recall some very specific things. Most of all, the main question on my mind was "... well, what happens now?" - I'd just done something I'd been told I was supposed to hate doing, but I didn't hate it. I swallowed, which I was told was the worst and it made you a total ho, but I'd only done it the one time, and didn't feel like a total ho. Overall, I was shocked at how much I didn't mind it. Not only did I not mind it, I wasn't opposed to doing it again, and I felt that way immediately. Wasn't sure if this was me weighing if I was ready to do this again, but that's getting way ahead of the story.
When I gulped it down, I sat straight up and looked directly at him, assuredly waiting for some kind of cue about what the hell people do after a blowjob, you've swallowed his cum -- literally everything I knew told me he was supposed to be falling asleep now, and he very much wasn't asleep while he shoved his cock back into his shorts.
What came next was a negotiation that I didn't realize was a negotiation. After I said "how did I do", and he'd told me I did really well, but I'd learn more over time, and the best thing I did was "swallow like a champ". Asking him if most girls did that for him, he'd said "no, and that's why I'm single". Knowing what I know years later, that's arguably true! Just a creative way to put it.
But those questions started pouring out of him as the afterglow subsided, all of which I greeted with the same answer: "If you were my girlfriend you'd do that whenever I said?", "You're gonna swallow every time?", "Would you do it first thing in the morning if I said so?", "You're okay with me not doing that for you, I hate doing that for girls?", "Wow, you really liked that cum, didn't you?" is the last one he asked with a huge grin. I answered yes to all of it -- I didn't see a problem with those things, really. It was only when he talked about me "liking cum" that I was fibbing. I didn't hate it, but I didn't know what to make of it, and again, was mostly surprised that it was nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe it'd be. Besides, I'm getting a boyfriend!
He peck-kissed me after a hug, and led me to his door. Told me to not worry about knocking, to just come in whenever -- that kind of trust bowled me over, I must say. And of course, leaned in and whispered in my ear "but you know we got to keep this secret for now, a lot could happen, you're young..." and in the moment, I agreed. I had my own reasons for thinking that, but they hit me like a sledgehammer as I walked out the door and made my way home.
I wondered exactly why I was so hellbent on him. He had no job. No car. No license. If he had friends, I hadn't seen any of them (but he did, and that's a story for later). Breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't going to have to explain my brand new dating situation to my parents because we were going to keep it quiet. Also, I panicked that it'd somehow be very obvious to my parents when I got home that I was still a virgin, but had done something sexual. That was silly, and sure, I hid it, but probably because I started hiding myself away from them.
That was a Friday. I was in my bedroom just about to go to sleep, when an inebriated Alan tapped on my window; he wanted me to know that he wanted to be up around 10 AM, so I should probably make plans to go over and "get used to waking" him up that way. I smiled with wild ideas about the fun we'd have together after I woke him up and we got the blowjob situation out of the way. Oh, I was so naïve.
SO naïve. But I agreed, and he told me he was excited to see his good girl in the morning, and I melted.
I'll pick up from here next time.

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hi all,
The weekly Sunday post will be a recurring post for you to share all of the positive things that are happening.
Post about:

• Positive things you've witnessed or experienced
• Positive news about your life or the world
• Positive posts/comments you've seen and want to share
• Positive outcomes from negative situations
• Positive/Funny videos, memes, art, poems, stories, etc. (can be your work or someone else's, if someone else's work please credit them if you know the original source)

---

It's been a busy very last month for me. I've been out and about every weekend and even during certain days during the week, something which I rarely ever do that often. It left me no time to do anything on here or Reddit in general, besides lurking every now and then. The rest of the time I've spent playing games alone to re-fill my social battery as much as I can. I made a promise to myself to go and socialize more, but still being introverted has got me felling like i'm in a predicament of trying to balance everything out. I think I did a good amount of the challenges since my last post, but I'll probably leave some.
For the chat with an old friend there was a couple occasions of that since I started. One was seeing a college friend of mines who I haven't seen in around a decade at a mutual friend's college graduation celebration. He looked the same as I remembered and we sat at the same table and caught up. It seemed like it was just yesterday that we last talked, as though we were put in a time capsule and sent back in time to one of our college events. It was really nice seeing him and as I've been trying to re-ignite old friendships, I told him I'll hit him up to start hanging out again. Another occasion was when I recently learnt of a friend I used to date for a bit that also graduated college. Old me wouldn't have said anything, since I've haven't spoken to them in years. But, when I became aware I sent them a message and congratulated them. We exchanged a few pleasant back and forth, but since they live in a different state now, it'll be hard to hang out again. But I'm glad I was able to send them what I can.
For ordering a drink I never tried before, I believe I do that a good amount at my friend's coffee shop. I usually go visit every Sunday when I can and when I'm not feeling a black cold brew, I always tell him to surprise me and whip up a drink that he's been thinking of making, for me. The last one I had was a brownie/ice-cream/espresso/coffee smoothie concoction. Today if I go, I might tell him to surprise me again.
For sleep by 10:30, I accidentally did it a few days ago. It might have been my body telling me i needed to just shut-down for a bit, but I laid down on my bed at around 5:30 thinking that I'll only nap till 6:30 to watch a NBA basketball game, but I turned off my alarm and just slept through it till the next morning. XD
For giving a gift to a friend or family, I gave gifts to my nieces and mom. Since it is Mother's Day today I gave my mom a face lotion that she loves and keeps asking for. For my nieces, I usually give them gifts for good marks on report cards and birthdays. And since there were a couple birthdays for them, I got them what they wanted which was funny, because one of them just wanted a certain brand of instant ramen and bottled fruit drink.
For giving a genuine hug, I've been basically giving it to all my nieces and nephews and close friends whenever I see them. I truly believe a simple hug feels very special and can give out the feel-good hormones lol. I want it to be a thing for all my friends and family. But I'm not there yet.
For social events, I've been to a good amount. A few parties, a few celebrations. I've been keeping myself busy meeting new people and nourishing current and past ones. It is really tiring, so I'm trying to find a good balance.
For outdoor activity, just yesterday, I was able to go out and play basketball for the first time this year. I'm very happy because I love basketball and hope to continue doing it as much as I possibly can the year. Right now, my whole body is sore due to not playing in a long while. I love the feeling though.
Overall, It's been kind of bittersweet for me. I mean I love being able to go out and follow through with trying to put myself out there and do new things, make new friends, but due to my introverted nature it feels like I was stuck in a rut of not being able to sit down and let my mind catch up in way. I guess that's the price of having to deliberately change my life-style from hermit to not a hermit lol. I'm trying to balance everything out, and I'm hoping to find out more about myself. These last few weeks has taught me that life doesn't have to be as hard as I think it would be. Instead of living through my head, it's easier to just live it, because my brain lies to me about the danger that is out there. I'm starting to gain back that confident and attractive part of me that I lost so many years ago. I just need to be able to take care myself also, which I'm working to do. Keep humble and not lose sense that my body and mind has a limit that I need to make sure not to overdo. Here's to pushing to keep on working to find out who we really are and striving to be the best we can be. Much love!

1. Go to a restaurant you've never visited before.
   
2. Use a mode of transportation not regularly utilized to return home.
   
3. Have a chat with an old friend you haven't contacted in a year (or longer).
   
4. Read a new book in one sitting.
   
5. Choose a day to stay away from the internet.
   
6. Wake up an hour earlier and enjoy a hearty breakfast.
   
7. Order a drink you've never tried before.
   
8. Watch a movie alone.
   
9. Write a letter to yourself in 2024.
   
10. Engage in a craft activity, such as origami, LEGO, or knitting.
    
11. Visit the seaside or a forest and connect with nature.
    
12. Exchange three sentences with a stranger.
    
13. Look through old photos and past diaries.
    
14. Organize your room and discard one item you've been meaning to get rid of.
    
15. Jog for 30 minutes.
    
16. Sleep by 10:30 PM.
    
17. Tell your family "I love you."
    
18. Make a new friend.
    
19. Give a gift to a friend or family member.
    
20. Stay overnight at a friend's place and gossip.
    
21. Smile at yourself in the mirror.
    
22. Treat yourself to a gift.
    
23. Give a genuine hug to someone—family, friend, lover, or a stranger.
    
24. Sing a song in public, disregarding others' reactions, and liberate your voice.
    
25. Attend local social events or groups to meet more interesting people.
    
26. Complete an important task you've been putting off, regardless of size.
    
27. Establish a healthy eating plan for yourself and stick to it for a week.
    
28. Try an outdoor sports activity.
    
29. Dress up seriously for yourself.
    
30. Document the process of this challenge.
    

It was exactly two weeks ago when my slight concerns evolved into genuine fear. I remember restlessly lying in bed, whimpering and crying, contemplating whom to blame for my senseless suffering. Despite the fact that it was my fourth consecutive night spent completely awake, I refused to fall asleep. Despite the fact that my body was literally breaking apart, I refused to fall asleep. Despite my itching eyes, despite my pulsing headache, despite my burning muscles, I refused to fall asleep.
The world seemed so incredibly cruel. I begged and pleaded, but nobody answered my calls. I felt like one of those spoiled kids in the supermarket, rolling around on the dirty floor. Only for me, there was no exhausted mother who would sooner or later cave in. My mother was destiny or God or whoever else chose to ignore my prayers.
I crashed back into my mattress, slowly descending into this trancelike state of consciousness, not quite awake but light-years away from actually drifting off. Until the sun let out its heinous laugh and reminded me that there was more pain to bear.
The next day was even worse. My vision was hazy. Points of light constantly lit up and disappeared again. The continuous sound of rustling leaves accompanied the noise of blabbering coworkers and concerned friends. Time flew by but remained still. Memories escaped my grasp like salmon in a roaming river. I was starving, dying, unable to reach for the food that sat right in front of my gaping maw.
Just let me sleep.
Day turned into night. And just like before, my soul refused to rest. I was at my wit's end. I felt death looming in the shadows and would have given everything to make the world come to an infinite halt. In a last desperate attempt, I decided to take drastic measures. If my body was unwilling to listen to me, I would force it to.
I took about eighty milligrams of doxepin and passed out shortly after.
The first things I noticed upon waking up were a raging headache and the cold air brushing against my skin. Still feeling drowsy and disoriented, I aimlessly walked through the unknown street I somehow woke up on. The millions of unanswered questions in my head slowly freed me from the pill's remaining chains. I distinctly remembered falling asleep on my couch. Yet, I ended up stumbling around a part of town that was more than ten miles away from my apartment.
During these moments of pure shame and confusion, the picturesque scenery in front of my eyes felt like utter hell. The fact that I apparently had no control over my body's actions struck me to my core. In a time where I believed to have peacefully slumbered off, I instead chose... chose to... chose to do... what exactly?
While waiting for the subway, a thought, as sharp as the blade of a guillotine, hovered over my head.
I could have killed someone today. I wouldn't even know.
When I came back, the sight that revealed itself upon opening the door seemed to confirm all of my darkest premonitions. Multiple vases and bowls lay shattered on the ground. My shelves and drawers were left opened and unorganized, cutlery and plates carelessly thrown onto the floor. Nothing stood where it once was placed. It looked like a tornado stormed through my home while I was gone. But a tiny part of me, carefully hidden away from logic and rationality, knew the real cause of the havoc.
It was me. I did that.
I frantically paced around my apartment, frightened of phenomena I couldn't comprehend. And again, this tiny but persistent whisper sounded:
I could have killed someone today. I wouldn't even know.
The second time I knocked myself out, I only really did it to soothe my paranoia-infested mind. I needed safety and control. I needed to know the extent of my damage. I needed to understand the being that mysteriously managed to hide from my memories.
I set up various video recordings and took my pills. In my last waking moments, I remember the sweat dripping down my hands and this deep sense of unease creeping up my spine. It was already too late.
As the view of my dirty gray carpet greeted me in the morning, a huge wave of relief washed over me. It was as if the sun learned to shine again, instantly covering my past incident in a different light. I didn't hurt people. I didn't kill people. I simply walked out of the house and somehow forgot about it.
I took a deep breath, believing at least one of my worries to have disappeared. When a stinging pain in my knuckles fired through my body and decimated my newfound hope. I let out a small wince of pain. Still feeling the high of my easement, I at first just stared at my bruised-up fingers as if they were mere hallucinations. Rows of sausages, maybe. Sausages, covered in blood.
This has to be a dream.
It was only after five or so motionless seconds had passed that the horror dared to truly sneak up on me. The weight of my realization hit me like a sledgehammer. I rushed towards my phone, my shaking fingers desperately searching for the recorded video, unable to look away from the mess that unfolded in front of me.
The recording started as soon as the tablets rolled down my throat. A worrisome expression remained on my face as I lay on the couch and drifted into sleep. Soon after that, a satisfied snore escaped my speakers. My initial angst transformed into a feeling of slight discomfort while I watched my own peaceful slumber. Almost bored, I half-heartedly followed the next uneventful twenty minutes.
Then, everything started changing all at once. Suddenly, the man... no, the thing in the video shot to its feet, stretching and wandering across the room. Trying to adjust to a life of thirty-three vertebrae and four extremities, the muscles in its suit of meat seemed tense and stuck in place. As it turned my home upside down, every single grunt, shake, and blink appeared unnatural and tiresome. Its gait eerily similar to a marionette's. My clone rummaged through the cupboard without any sort of fluency. If it moved, it moved rapidly. And if it didn't, it stopped for long periods of time, completely frozen and paralyzed. Its arms, tight like the branches of a tree, smashed up my fine china. A horrifying scream that sounded like a mix between the buzzing of bees and the bang of a nuclear explosion filled the narrow halls of my home.
"It looks like a spider trapped in a human body," I thought.
I was scared. Maybe more so than I ever had been before.
At 2:30 am, the individual that was supposedly me decided to slowly stride towards the door. To the quiet observer, it would appear as if I was trying to find my way across an active minefield. I chose to lift my legs high up into the air and put the entirety of my weight on my descending foot, flailing my arms around to keep my balance. The simple act of walking required meticulous concentration. Multiple times I fell flat on my face while attempting to take a step forward. It would have almost been funny if it weren't so tragically horrifying.
After a concerning amount of time, the humanoid printer on my screen reached its destination. When its hands grasped the key rack, it appeared unable to find what it was looking for.
Thank God, I remembered to hide my valuables.
The entity appeared confused, violently shaking the handle and pressing its body against the wooden barrier that separated it from the rest of the world. It needed to get out. No matter the cost. After thirty minutes of unsuccessful grunting and pushing, it decided to ball its hands up into fists and continuously punched at the door. There was no grace or technique in its strikes. Only raw unfiltered anger.
Fear turned into panic, while I quickly skipped through the rest of the video. It was just hour-long footage of myself banging at the gate. Never stopping. No matter the cost. At around 4 am, blood started splattering onto the walls. But I didn't stop. At around 6 am, splinters stuck to my fingers like porcupine quills, every strike further sinking them into my flesh. But I didn't stop. The constant rhythmic thump of my fists became an inevitable part of my life. But I didn't stop.
I could have killed someone. I wouldn't even know.
I couldn't bear to watch anymore. My hands still shaking, I closed the recording and looked up at the ceiling. The sound of joints crashing into timber echoed through my mind like vicious thunderbolts.
I don't know how long I remained in this trance, staring blankly into the air while anxiously trying to find fragments of the night inside my memories, when I finally stood up and went to the bathroom.
I have to see my face.
Upon inspecting my reflection, I felt the unexplainable need to vomit. The man in the mirror looked... strange, uncanny, almost AI-generated. I felt repulsed and sick. But what exactly was the problem? What about my eyes, nose, or ears was hideous enough to cause my legs to give out? I couldn't put it into words. Everything about me was wrong, and yet nothing was.
I immediately threw any and all of my pills away and vowed to never touch them again. I tried to distract myself from the inevitable fact that a deep and raw kind of terror persistently lingered in the air. Instead of facing the monster housed deep inside my pupils, I chose to bear the familiar agony of sleeplessness.
I thought that I could handle it. I thought the pains of insomnia would disappear over time. But they never truly did. These scattered days of slumber were enough to make me forget the horrors of fatigue. The raw reality of its effects hit me like a wrecking ball. I realized how puny pain becomes in mere memory and how humongous it appears when towering over you.
After three or four days, I thought I was gradually withering away. I longed for nothing more than the momentary liberation of sleep. Parts of my feeble soul constantly screamed and hammered at the walls of my abdomen.
All of this pain. All of this suffering. It could end. You just need to take your pills.
You just need to take your pills.
Every continuous day without rest made my problems appear smaller and smaller. Last night, while unbelievably sleep-deprived, they shrunk to the size of brittle snowflakes.
It was nothing but a bruised hand after all.
The third time felt decidedly different. I was slipping through different levels of consciousness, small shards and sequences of my dream appearing in front of my eyes like an infinite slideshow. In one of them, I was a vase, falling from the surface of the moon, gradually accelerating until becoming a glowing meteor of light. Inches before crashing into the surface, I was suddenly pulled back into reality.
Just for a second, the world seemed so painfully close to me. I sensed the blood dripping down my arm, the police sirens blaring in the distance, the sharp sting of urine shooting into my nostrils. And then there was this incoherent blend of colors around me. That's when I realized that I woke up while my head was in the middle of crashing towards the glass window, unable to stop the already created momentum. I would only be alert for the duration of a heartbeat, before my mind had to turn blank again. Knowing that the being inside of me would soon regain control, I tried to absorb everything in my immediate vicinity. The sign of the shop, only a blur in the corner of my eyes, forever burned itself into my memories.
"Ela's bakery."
The next time I regained authority over my body, just for the briefest of seconds, I thought I had landed in heaven. The street was bathed in a beautiful orange hue. The trees surrounding me shook their shiny green leaves around, and the subtle sound of chirping songbirds could be heard in the distance.
Then I dared to look up, and my blissful peace transformed into the soul-shattering realization that death was near. A boulder, about the size of a basketball, was inches away from crashing into my skull. My body moved on its own, leaping to the side and landing on the grassy field next to me. Moments after I jumped, the sharp hissing sound of the wind grazed my ears as the enormous rock crashed onto the ground. Unable to move, a scream escaped the deepest parts of my soul. I had enough. I couldn't continue any longer. Tears of frustration and relief simultaneously streamed down my face. After some time, they fused with the raw sensation of anger.
This thing tried to kill me.
When my eyes felt too tired to cry any longer and my vocal cords were hot and rigid, I stood up and examined my environment. My mind had only a few moments to adjust to the overwhelming nature of reality. As if the world had been anxiously waiting for my return, the waves of stimuli around me were immediately fighting for my attention.
I am outside again. I am alone. I almost died. My head feels like someone stuck a stake through it. There is an unbearable sour smell in the air. I almost died. My hands are streaked in dried-up blood. I almost died. My clothes are covered in dirt and grime. There is a corpse next to me.
There is a corpse next to me.
Anxiously trying to get my breath under control, I inspected the one thing my mind could focus on.
John Smith
01.01.1920 - 01.01.2020
I woke up in a local cemetery. Piles of dirt gathered besides an inconspicuous headstone. A casket, probably never thought to be opened again, lay before me like one half of a cracked eggshell. It presumably belonged to John Smith.
Even for a dead man, he looked incredibly thin and sick. A stature so small that he almost appeared childlike. Arms crossed. Face stuck in a constant frown. Hair and nails unnaturally long and discolored.
Inspecting his wrinkled face sent shivers down my spine. It felt like I was looking at something that merely pretended to be human.
I knew that this was my wrongdoing. This wasn't the anxiety speaking out of me anymore. It was obvious that whatever controlled my body chose to come here and used his bare hands to find this man. And before I could take over the reins, it heaved a boulder above its head and let go.
Not daring to stay there for even a single additional second, I dashed out of the cemetery and rushed back home. I had to find it, my one moment of clarity.
"Ela's bakery."
Faces, colors, worlds were passing by me like shadowy figures and shapes. The masses of people around me probably thought I was insane. Dirty and confused, the kind of man I would have scoffed at not too long ago.
When I recognized the shop's pink doors and gleaming welcome sign, I almost crashed into the teenage cashier standing in front of the fractured window.
"Hey," I shouted. "Please let me look at your security footage." I pointed at the tiny camera watching over the shop's entrance.
Not saying a word, he nervously looked me up and down.
"Uhh...are you...okay? You don't look too well." He answered with a touch of genuine concern.
My attention shifted towards the dark reflection on the window. Yes, I truly didn't look too well. A huge purple bruise stuck out of my forehead. My skin was covered in a million tiny cuts and scrapes. The delicate lines running like spiderwebs across the glass surface fractured my face into a million tiny pieces. The word "damage" was practically written all over me. The marker was permanent.
"Please... I'm begging you. I need to see this video."
As he led me to the computer, I once again waited for the world to show me sides of myself that never reached my consciousness. I couldn't sit still, my heart's thumping too fast for me to count. As my body finally appeared on the grainy footage, I was suddenly reminded of a thought that once sprung into my head when my mother died.
Everything changed, and life will never feel the same again.
The man in the recording had the same robotic walk and way of moving around. His long strides carried him in front of the bakery, where he waved his head in contemplation before violently smashing his face against the glass. A high-pitched explosion reverbated through the night. The faint sound of drunken screams soon followed.
I paused the video and rewound, frantically looking for the one frame that truly mattered.
Gotcha.
Just before a million transparent shards flew by my face, I saw the light fleeing back into my eyes. I recognized my panicked self for the fraction of a second until the explosive sound of the shattering window pulled me back into the ether. For a moment, it was me in that video. For a moment, the monster had to give up its power.
As if reminded of my pain, the wound on my forehead started throbbing again. It became impossible to think. I watched in horror as the man in the footage immediately got up to his feet and left the sight of the camera. The being returned to its old ways, slithering along the pavement, unfazed by the humongous swelling on its scalp.
The endless number of puzzle pieces in my head gradually assembled into a coherent image. I had found my truth.Whenever I passed out, this presence inside of me took over my body. But sooner or later, I would wake up. I would disrupt whatever it wanted to do in that grave. So hoping to remain in control forever, it tried to knock me out as soon as I awakened. It succeeded the first time. But the second time it sensed my return, it was too late, perhaps too preoccupied or simply too slow.
The desk in front of me was covered in a deep and oppressive fog. Nothing felt real because nothing was real. I was a humongous storm of questions, forced to accept the supernatural in its purest form.
"So that was you, huh?" a voice near my ear sounded.
I instantly bolted to my feet. The cashier looked at my trembling body and took a few steps back.
"Hey bro, I get it. Fuck the world. I'm not going to snitch, don't worry."
Knowing my airways have long abandoned me, I didn't say a word. I rushed out of the door and ran back home. His words spun around my head like a swarm of fireflies.
Fuck the world.
Upon reviewing the video on my phone, it confirmed what I basically already knew. As soon as I dozed off, something else awoke.When it failed to open the door, it instead decided to smash the window in my kitchen into pieces and crawled out.
I feel like all hope is lost. It is my fifth consecutive day spent awake. But sooner or later, I will be unable to resist the sweet lullabies of slumber. And what then? What will happen the next time I pass out? Will it try to make me stay unconscious forever? Will I ever wake up when I inevitably fall asleep again?

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕