How to unblock i

Okay, so let me start from the beginning. I’m F (29) and I started dating my husband M (25) back in 2018. During dating my husband his younger sister we will call her Sal started working a job with my niece at the time Sal had no clue that she was my niece so she started spreading rumors and lying about me to my niece. My sister and niece told me what Sal was saying about the same time Sal tried telling me my niece was talking bad about me behind my back. So I took it into my own hands to block both my niece and Sal. During the time Sal found out I blocked her she started telling her parents that I was bullying her, and talking bad about her. I was the one getting random messages saying that I’m obsessed and crazy over Sal, when I’m just trying to stay out of the drama I don’t like confrontation. I get so much anxiety from just receiving the text I did get from Sal’s ex boyfriend and Sal’s burner numbers because she knew she was blocked. She even made 4 IG’s just to message me rude messages and I was honestly scared of the stalking, because Sal and my husband has other siblings as well. So I was being messaged by her pretending to be her little brother on SC. I ended up blocking him even though I feel bad it’s wasn’t his fault but she wasn’t going to stop, she was even using her sisters account taking screenshots of my Snapchat stories asking my husband what I’m doing and why I’m where I’m at. I could be at a store, hospital, work, etc. As you can tell I eventually blocked the sister as well because of Sal. At the time I was living with my parents and my husband was living with me. He had went on a trip and Sal wanted his camera. I told him Sal can’t come to my parents house due to all the drama she has caused. Even though I told him to tell her that she didn’t show up once but 6 times to my house asking my parents if she can come in and get the camera as well blowing my phone up with a burner number about letting her get the camera. We had told her no several times and the last time she came by she recked her own car into my dads trailer and ran off scared he would prosecute her. I begged my dad to do it to teach her a lesson, but sadly him being really sick from cancer he didn’t want to really deal with it.
Fast forward a couple years I still have Sal blocked but, my husband started asking me to unblock Sal and try to start over. Me being stupid I did and tried to build a bond with her.. how stupid I was because when my husband went on another trip he left his iPad behind and one night I noticed his iPad blowing up with messages.. his iPad is connected to his phone and the messages was from Sal she was telling him how she doesn’t like me and that I’m trash and he needs to break up with me. So I automatically blocked her again.. seeing all those messages I just knew she wasn’t going to change, but as soon as I blocked her it took her maybe 5 mins to notice and I started seeing her blow up my husband messages saying I found out she was talking crap and asked if my number was connected to his phone. Note my husband even showed me when he got back that she made a Snapchat with all the siblings and their (boyfriends/girlfriends) together in a group, in that group Sal was telling my husband that I’m a them/they and I’m a pos girlfriend to him and that all I do is bully her and harass her. One I identify as a woman, and two anything my husband wanted if I had the money he always got whatever he wanted and was cooked for every night. I pretty much took care of him.
Couple months later my husband and I decide to get married. It was a little courthouse wedding nothing special. During that entire day we were signing papers and going through the eloping my husband’s mother and father as well both his sisters were talking crap about getting married to me. Saying to him that he’s making a big mistake and that I ruined their family “bullying” his sister Sal. He told his family he loved me and that I’ve never bullied or messaged Sal in the whole period she started her bullying and rumoring about me. Till this day his parents never believed that though.
Couple months later we moved in to my husbands grandmothers house because we had no place to go due my fathers passing. During the time I helped the grandmother and did whatever I could just to show her thanks for letting us move in. My husbands parents would come over and visit to take all they could from the grandmother because that’s what they do, neither of them work and they leech off the grandmother for funds.. they were over almost everyday trying to get money off gma. One day we had a cookout for gma’s birthday and I noticed my husbands dad started acting weird.. I was watching my husband from inside the house at the window and his dad decided to open the door and bash the door into my body several times and then walked out and put his thumb at his throat in a slicing motion towards me.. so i decided to go back into the bedroom because i was just hit multiple times by a door and yes he bashed it so hard into me I had bruises.. My husband came back into the house looking for me, I told him I didn’t want to come out because his father is being abusive.. he insisted I come back out and grill with him so I’m around him only.. so I did, well when I went outside with him his dad decided to come out too. His father decided to give me dirty death stares and then proceeded to tell me that I’m a bitch and I need to fck right on out of here. I asked him what his problem is with me because at that moment I was upset and in tears from all of it. My husband and his dad were butting heads over how he was treating me, his dad proceeded to tell me that I’m a slt and whre that I cheat on my husband whenever I get the chance. His dad also tells me that I “bullied” his daughter and made her life miserable and tried to break their family apart. He even told me that he wants to k*ll me and him and Sal will dance on my grave when I die that I’m a pos. This entire time this is going on my husband is trying to keep the peace and telling his dad that it’s not cool how he’s being. My husband’s mom and gma are now running outside telling me not to provoke the father and to come inside and shut up, literally treated me like I started all this. Note they would not let me leave the house.. my night was ruined and I stayed locked in the bedroom for the rest of the day, so the next day my husband went with his parents to their house.. I went straight to the police station and told them everything, the started setting up an arrest. So while they were getting ready to make their arrest I went back to gma’s house and started packing all my stuff up and told her I no longer wanted to live there. The GMA started begging me to stay and I refused, packed my stuff and left.
Less than 5 hours the father was arrested and my husband was livid at me, he was mad because I ran off and left the situation and demanded that we get a divorce because I put his dad in prison. I told him fine whatever. Note my husband knew how his family was but doesn’t really take up for me in much of the years I was dealing with his sisters bs and now his parents bs. Eventually through all that me and my husband worked it out and his dad plead guilty. His dad has 2 years no contact with me. Yes, I’m still married to my husband.. and I’ve made up with the gma.
Couple months later I get a job and I tell gma about it. Plus me and my husband are living alone together now in a tiny home. I start working at this job and gma calls me asking me where I’m working, so I tell her. Couple days after that Sal is being interviewed at my job. Inside I’m literally screaming.. she ends up getting the job.. I tell my manager we can’t work together, I tell him some details but not much. When Sal starts working my coworkers start coming to me asking me questions on wanting to know if it’s true on what Sal said about me. Sal was going around telling my coworkers that I use to be a boy and transgendered to a woman and that I’m secretly in love with her. I told them no and I ended up quitting because it got to be an everyday thing of something Sal rumored about and coworkers started asking me about it or talking about it.
Couple months later me and my husband goes out to eat and we come back to our house broken into.. found out it was only my stuff that was destroyed and messed with there was ripped photos of me outside with an axe thrown into them.. and my face drawn all over.. He asked his parents and his mom came clean that they broke in and played a “trick” on me. Nothing was done because my husband wouldn’t tell the police the truth to save them.. Some days later my husband gave his parents our storage unit key to grab out a couch for his brother.. his parents took the couch as well stole a lot of my stuff and destroyed everything in the storage unit.. I was livid and went to the police and they couldn’t do anything because my husband gave them a key. So I changed the locks and now my husband doesn’t have a key.. trust was broken at this point. He knew what they have already done and let them have a key to the last little bit of stuff I have stolen and gone..
Months later my husband leaves to go hang out with his parents all day, then at 2am my husband and his dad decides to roll up drunk to our house. My husband opens the door and starts talking to me and slurring words and I told him that he needs to tell his dad to leave. He goes outside and tells his dad that he needs to leave and go home. Me laying in bed already anxious that his dad is here. I hear my husband and his dad bickering and his dad saying he is not f*cking leaving and that I need to come out and have a talk with him. I sitting in my bed told him out the window I will not be coming out and that he needs to go home. I hear his dad open the truck door and start walking my heart drops and I have 911 on speed dial as he slams open the door and start rushing in the bedroom at me. My first reaction is to slap him. As I do my husband takes his dad down to the ground and his dad is screaming at me that I’m the devil and I need to be killed. While I’m screaming for him to get out of my house because I’m scared for my own life. The police show up and instead or arresting the dad.. ends up taking him home, but he had to leave his vehicle behind… my husband crying at me because I called the cops on his dad again.. told me that he rescued me and I can now believe that he cares. As much as I try to believe him, he continues to hang out and talk to his parents and sisters who have made 5 years of my life hell.
Moving on though, the next morning my husband went to go hang out with his parents and watch his brother’s ball game. I asked him to get back the stuff that his parents stole from me in the storage unit that he seen laying around in their house the night he went and got drunk with them. He instead tells me him and his parents are coming after the game to pick up the vehicle that his dad had to leave last night. I didn’t want them showing back up so I had it towed within an hour. I knew they were on their way after the game anyway so I decided to get dressed and go to work early. When my husband got there he started blowing up my phone asking where the vehicle went and that if I didn’t tell him then I deserved having my stuff stolen because it’s going to cost them money having to get the vehicle back. I refused to tell him until my stuff was brought back to me that they had stole from me. He ended up saying he wouldn’t get it back till I told him. So I made it clear if I told him he has to go get my stuff or we are done. He ended up getting some of it back..
Later that week I ended up getting an Order or protection against his father and yes it was granted. I ended up blocking all my husbands family and yes, I'm still trying to work on my marriage with my husband.

TL;DR: My first relationship ended after 2 years, filled with family drama, mental health struggles, and constant fights. Despite my efforts to make things work, including sacrificing friendships and financial stability, my partner became distant, compared me to others, and eventually admitted to hanging out with someone else. I made mistakes too, struggling with bipolar disorder and inadvertently causing harm by involving others. Now, I'm devastated, experiencing panic attacks, and desperate for advice on coping with this heartbreak.
This a long rant and just want to let my heart out.
My partner (F20) of 2 years broke up with me and it was my very first relationship. Things were rocky for us due to various factors including horrifying incidents like we both come for conservative families and were caught being alone at my house, also had serious fights over various issues. I am clinically tested for Bipolar Disorder (mild) and she for ADHD (severe). We were from same high school, even lived near and used to go for same coaching. At first she hated me but eventually fell in love and asked me out. I was already in love with her and it was dream come true. We had a fairytale story for about 8-9 months when the caught incident happened resulting in fights between both families who btw were extremely good with each other before finding out about us. We both were strictly warned never to contact each other ever again but we still did. We both moved for college in same city. I had opportunity to go another prestigious college in far away city, but me being a fool opted for subpar college close to hers. It was traumatic for us both so 2-3 months went in recovering from family fights and we were again having good time. She befriended a girl who was extremely toxic and used to give her ill advices, my partner being immature used to blindly listen and cause issues between us. I also have a female best friend from school as well whic we have completely platonic relationship but she hated the fact that I had her as a best friend as there were rumors of us being a couple in middle school. For my partner's sake I cut off with the best friend and almost everyone she had issues with, I was in deep love and didn't wanted to make her upset and lose her. She always has been a extreme introvert with minimal to no friends and very toxic abusive family. I was with her when she was having the worst time including mental and physical abuse by her parents over studies, college and future. I always encouraged her to make friends, no matter gender and spend time with them.
Almost a year later on my bday she had a dress up party at her college and I had exams. She wished me at midnight, again in morning and that's it. Whole day there were no texts, no calls, no nothing. I was highly upset as I was expecting a surprise as I previously mentioned I had cut off everyone so only one I had was her. Way past 7 PM I got text from her she is leaving from college campus to go to her private hostel, which had path from a slum area infamous for mugging, rapes, etc. I advised her to take another longer but safer route and go in group. She said yes and didn't had any contact upto 9 PM. I contacted her another friend who told me my partner had left at 7 itself... It's been 2hrs no contact with her, also she had not taken the long route and went the infamous one. I sent numerous texts and dozens of calls only to get a text message at 9 - 930 that she was busy having shower and later had a call with her mother. I scolded her for being so irresponsible. She got upset, wished me happy birthday once again and went to sleep. I cried all night and next day decided to end things with her and sent a text addressing the same. She cried whole day and I got call from her various friends and I explained them the situation. Later I agreed to talk to her. I was expecting a apology but she didn't say anything and was making puppy sad faces. It really pissed me off and I started raging out. Also the dress up she wore for the event in college was little revealing (office formals but very tight ones) and in fit of rage said "You went dressed like a w***e", I agree it was way out of line and I regretted instantly. Said sorry multiple times but it offended her a lot.
We fit rough patch after that and had tough 2-3 months. I was confused, I blocked her but used to end up unblocking and talk with her. She had suicidal tendencies and one day ended up drinking entire bottle of cough syrup. Also she revealed to me about her past, where one of her family member had tried to touching her inappropriately. Although I was very angry, I immediately went to meet her and comfort her. But still we had tough time for a month. Then I got a call one day from her friends saying she hasn't been eating much and fainted. I had food poisoning with extreme painful stomach, but I still went h to her traveling 2 hrs on 2 buses and took her out to eat. Where she just had teary eyes and no words were spoken. I left like that but I realised I can't live without her, can't see her sad, can't let anything happen to her and her being so much sad is proof she feels bad, she won't be able to express in words but she feels it, we reconciled following day. After that things started getting normal. Even her toxic friend started showing her true colors and my partner cut her off. All was well and good until she befriended a new friend who has a rich boyfriend who used to pamper her in materialistic as well as other ways. She started comparing me with him.
We used to meet at my home and it being 40-45 min travelling time I used to drop or pick her up, and she used to use cab for one way travel. She used to complain how I don't do both, pick up as well as drop. We used to meet only on weekends and were physically active. She had a high sex drive resulting in 1hr to 1.5 hrs of lovemaking which would drain me out and was too tirying to drop her and come back. But I always used to pay for her cab as well as her other needs like clothes, food ordering etc etc. Her family used to send mere money and I used to spend on her being myself not buying anything or at times skipping meals, just for her happiness. Even send medicines, buy heating bag for period cramps as well as paying off her credit which overall used to consume 30-40% of my monthly budget. Which I never complained or felt bad, seeing her happy made me happy.
But in Jan of this year I got really depressed regarding studies, her fighting behavior as well as family issues. It led to affect my body physically as well and I got IBS. I was admitted in hospital for 3 weeks at my hometown and resting for next 2 weeks. Almost 1.5 months I was away. I was back for my midterms and went to pick her up from the station as she was home as well. She embedded up paying 100x times more to cab for just dropping her from main area to little out. I was upset and scolded her for being so irresponsible and wasting money. She didn't talk with me all the way to home and was silent as well when we reached home. Later we talked and had lovely time but while dropping her off the morning issue came up again and she was quite the whole time. Despite having pain in stomach I had gone to pick her up as well as drop and she being silent bothered me. I dropped her half way to her dorm and booked her a cab to go. Please note it was a populated metropolitan square with 500-600 people passing by and not some dark road. Also I made sure she sat in her cab and went home. I came back and didn't wanted to talk with her. I had to go back to my hometown for further treatment, but it had gotten worse and was admitted again. She had her exams so I never bothered her with details but I had to take high dose multi vitamin injections which were painful as bullet and of wrongly administered can cause extreme pain. And unfortunately one time it got wrongly administered and I had screaming pain, also it was her last day of exams so I just messaged her call immediately after exam which was approx at 3-4 PM. She said ok but didn't text until 7-8 PM. I asked where she was, she just said she was hanging out with friends and came back now and I being in pain said things like, when you will suffer same and your loved one will ignore you, you will understand and blocked her. After a few days I contacted back and never ever I had seen her talk the way she was talking. Extreme rude, careless and right up saying I don't want you. Your illness causes all pain.
I was devastated and tried apologising and making up. She was firm and wasn't budging. This went for few days and she ended up telling she has been going out with some guy, just 2 of them. She admitted it's just friends and nothing else. It was hurtful and cause my IBS to worsen, I was admitted back at 3 AM crying and crying.
I remember , on her birthday I had planned whole day out. Movies, parks, restaurant and various surprises, but she being introvert and lazy chose to stay home with me and order in. And now being so excited to go out with him was shocking for me. Also she started playing video games which she never had interest when I used to tell her to join me.
Also she used to waste a lot of time on social media and YouTube resulting in no studies. I advised her to delete social media to focus on studies. Which used to cause fights. I myself never had any social media except Reddit.
A few things to consider:
She has extreme high temper
She does extreme overthinking
Also always assumes I blame her for everything
And most importantantly, she thinks she is the only one with problems in whole world and other's problems are menial
I got back to the city and tried visiting her, calling her but she didn't wanted to meet. I literally felt my soul leaving my body. Shivering, crying, sleepless nights, and when slept, nightmares. Even had panic attacks and everything. I texted her million times apologising, begging her, literally*
But she just was straight up rude.
I finally planned a big surprise. I cooked burgers for her and her friends from scratch. Drew a drawing of her. Sang her favorite song as well as a self written song begging her to dont let me go or else I will die. Letter explaining my love to her, as well as promise to change according to her. Follow everything she says, never say hurtful stuff, and never do anything she doesn't like. Completely change myself. Also added a bouquet and some care stuff and sent to her yesterday. She said all this was mental torture for her. And she didn't wanted to meet at all. I was deeply upset and just ended up saying suicidal things and went away. Even ended up cutting myself on hand a bit. But she ended up coming to meet me but straight up said I don't want her. She has lost all love for me and never ever want me in my life ever again. And left.
I have been crying all night and even had 2 panic attacks.
Please note:
My behavior was main reason as well:
As I mention I am Bipolar, I used to end up blocking her for days on end just to avoid me saying anything hurtful to her.
I once in my depressive episodes ended up contacting her toxic friend and telling her some of the things, which she ended up telling everyone in their college completely destroying my partner's image which I regret a lot.
Also my female best friend, I used to tell her everything (nothing intimate... But sharing appropriate things) and my partner used to hate it. I stopped doing that immediately but she held a grudge till now.
And I ended up involving a lot of people in this because she had blocked me everywhere and I was desperate for someone to convince to meet me in person and talk it out.
This has been like a truck smashing my out of nowhere and I can't recover at all. Especially with no one to talk and just crying and crying.
People who went through first heartbreaks, or whom you thought was your the one, literally planned entire life with that person, please help me get through this.

My husband (32M) and I (31F) are a military family. Been married 3 years but together 7. He’s deployed right now to a pretty calm location, with no combat and short work days + weekends off. Currently I live alone in our home, and we’re stationed overseas. He’s set to return here in a few months. For context, it’s nice in a way, to have him deployed. I have the home to myself to present it the way I like. I don’t have to rub his back every night the way he likes. No meals to cook unless I want to. And because he’s not here, I don’t find or feel any crumbs or dipping tobacco in my sheets. But it does get lonely here sometimes. Right now, I’m alone in this foreign place. But I try to make the best of it, because it’s beautiful.
My husband isn’t really there for me emotionally, the way I’d like him to be. But I get by, and for the most part, I try to be patient. Generally he is very loving and affectionate. But he doesn’t like to talk. He doesn’t like to be bothered with much outside of his job. He doesn’t like to plan for the future, or strategize in terms of career. He doesn’t like to talk about finances, and has made a few financial pitfalls. Last year he bought 2 cars he couldn’t afford, insisting that he’d sell them for a profit. He never tried to sell, and the cats are sitting in parking lots out here growing rust. But we all make financial mistakes. When he was here, he had a hard time being here for me emotionally. I like to explore new places, go for walks, and spend time with people I love. He outright refused to do those things with me for a long time, and when I’d ask him he’d get upset and talk about his job. Things got better and he started taking me out some, but he can still be this way with me. He prefers that I don’t go for my daily walks. That I stay home, rub his back, and watch tv or movies with him until he falls asleep. In a lot of ways, this deployment is a great break from that chaos. For a while he seemed happier out there, with a different group of people from other units. But things have apparently taken a turn.
This past week, I asked if he would spare time and talk with me for a few minutes later in the day, as I’d received awful news about a close family member that I needed to talk through. He said sure, and the day went on. But he never offered up a set time. He got off work early that day and told me he was going to take a nap, and when push came to shove, he flaked on talking at all, saying he wasn’t feeling good. The next day I checked in on him and broached the topic of us talking as planned, and he told me he felt he was going through depression. That a lot of dudes out there were going through something similar, and that he could go and do things, but talking was taking a lot out of him. I pivoted and tried to encourage him and asked if there was anything I could do to help. He told me sending funny videos would help and that he enjoyed seeing photos and videos I was taking of my life out here, so I sent some of those along, but he didn’t really engage with it much.
The week went on like this, with very little communication on his part. I would get bits and pieces, he would he out with colleagues to eat, have drinks, and spend time after work. But he didn’t talk to me, wouldn’t share what might be going on with him internally. I told him this hurt my feelings, and that I didn’t feel like he was prioritizing his relationship with me. Specifically during a time when I really needed to talk.
Cut to this past weekend. My husband and I did talk a bit Saturday evening. It was a short phone conversation about channel passwords. At the end of the convo, I’d again told him, I felt frustrated and sad because he wasn’t really communicating with me. My husband told me he understood and that he loved me. We hang up and I feel glad we got to talk, and that he could understand where I was coming from. I call it a night Saturday night and fall asleep haphazardly, forgetting to text him goodnight.
It’s Sunday morning and I wake up, and husband hasn’t texted, his phone is actually off. It remains off for most of the day. I text him good morning and go about my day, and hours later he texts good morning. I ask him how his night went. Usually, when his phone dies over night, there’s been drinking involved. He’s fallen asleep and forgotten to charge his phone. Stuff like that. There’s radio silence on his end, and then it starts to hit me that just last night, he told me he could understand where I was coming from with my frustrations with him. But he’s just continuing to fail to communicate, or prioritize us. I tell him I’m feeling a slight way about all of this. He texts me back a little bit later and is like give me a few minutes to wake up and I’ll give you the rundown about last night.
Two hours go by, and nothing. Then he tells me actually, he “had an accident” last night (not the car kind) and used the bathroom (unsure #1 or #2 on himself), on his bed, and on his rug. He tells me he’s spent the last bit of time trying to clean that up, and that he feels awful about it.
I tell him I’m so sorry that this is happening, and that it sounds terrible. But I add that it has nothing to do with what’s been going on between us. He gets upset and says “Yeah, I’m going through some things right, but I’ll be sure to sit and take a look at how you’ve been feeling.”
I tell him that feels like a slap in the face response. Then he tells me he wants “some space”. These words really trigger me, because 1. He tends to ask for “space” at the slightest hint of conflict between us, but he never, ever offers up a time for reengagement, to sort through our issues. For him, space can take days or weeks, if left unchecked. 2. I just feel so beyond let down by him shutting down for the umpteenth time, right when I’m airing out valid concerns.
This is the part that I’m not proud of. I feel deeply ashamed and responsible for my actions, and at the same time I feel so upset and righteous: I call him non stop for 2 hours, demanding that he talk to me. I text him message after message, imploring him to pick up the phone. I tell him not to speak to me for the rest of the deployment, and then I’m begging him to just talk with me for 5 minutes. It’s chaos. And I’m doing this for about 2 hours straight.
He blocks me on iPhone but keeps me unblocked on WhatsApp. And he just lets the phone ring and ring, which baffles me. In hindsight, he might have been letting it ring to show his buddies how “crazy” his wife is. Or to have documented evidence of how “crazy, unhinged, and disrespectful of boundaries” I can be, just in case we split and get a divorce.
Whatever the reason, he lets me keep calling and calling, until after midnight his time and 2 am my time.
And this is where we’re at.
How do I recover from such a messed up thing that I’ve done? I feel so bad, for ruining this man’s night and potentially fucking up his Monday morning. And I also feel so frustrated that he doesn’t care about me. I feel hurt. And I also feel like I lack self respect or love for myself. How do I recover from all of these hurt feelings and shame I have over what I’ve done?
You know what I hate? I hate that this fucked up relationship I have with this guy can sometimes make me so desperate. Why do I care and try and try with someone who is soiling themselves in drunken stupors, and actively avoiding having solid communication with me?
I feel so bad about myself this morning. I feel alone in my relationship and afraid to just be here, alone with myself. How do I make things right, first with myself, and later with him. Despite his piss poor treatment of me, I do deeply feel that I owe him an apology, for calling like that and not respecting his space. That’s not who I want to be. But is this who I am? It’s what I did in my moment of weakness. How do I recover from this?
TL;DR: I went nuts oh my emotionally and physically absent husband. I feel hurt by him and frustrated, but I know that was wrong. how do I recover from my bad behavior?

For context I played heavily way back before any new characters were added in the early days and slowly dip my toe in again now and then. I am finding the game extremely difficult to pick back up due to the sheer power-creep of every character seemingly needing every option up their sleeves and almost all un-telegraphed.
It feels like every character matchup feels the exact same with slight variations and it's really difficult to learn exactly how I should be playing vs different characters as they all seem to blur together for me.
Now my biggest frustrations are playing against newer characters as when up against older characters learning that most if not all of them have undodgeables/unblockables wasn't as difficult to get used to as I'm aware of their strengths/weaknesses from the past. I don't have the funds or time to unlock everyone and grind them all to learn them first-hand.
TLDR: feels like just to learn a single matchup vs a new character I'd have to study and remember the timings of about 10x as many options than in the past which is feeling like a huge frustration anytime I matchup against a newer character. Is there any tips on dealing with this? Is there more character identity than it seems to each of these newer characters or does everyone just do everything these days?

I feel like I failed myself. I ended things a month ago now, had him blocked everywhere. Then he sent me a box of chocolates, so I messaged him telling him to “say what he needs to say”, since we had no last conversation. Last night we were intimate.
I hate myself. I feel so much worse with him in my life than when he was out of it, and it’s only been 3 days. I hate myself so much for giving in and unblocking him. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t just get him out of my life forever? Im so miserable and upset with what I’ve done I don’t how to fix it

Throwaway account because I like to stay anonymous. So, I feel as if going to Reddit is stupid but it is a last resort.
I go to school with everyone in the story basically. This is very important.
So, my ex and I had a pretty rough breakup about 8 months ago. We tried to just stay in an intimate relationship but it didn’t work. We got into a pretty harsh argument after she said “no more”. She started to date one of my friends, not a close friends of mine but someone who I talked to almost everyday. That pissed me off a lot and I said some things along the lines of like “what makes that guy better” ( I had cuss words in there but I won’t add them because I’m not sure if they are allowed)
My ex responded to me in a not so great way, she was threatening “come after me” if I talked to her boyfriend/ my own friend.
I got even more angry because I was pretty, so I went to my other friend, who I trust a lot. He is like my best friend. I told him about the situation and what happened. We both came up with the idea to tell the school’s like principal and officer about what my ex said. I took it a bit to far and has the police search her. I honestly wasn’t thinking much of what could happen. Thankfully nothing big happened that I know of, all that did happen was that we weren’t allowed to talk for a bit. I did get an update on what they did and they just said they searched for stuff and that is it. The school also told be that they didn’t do much because I was simply angry and probably just wanted to get back at my ex. Which that was the case. I regret it a lot.
Now forward to now. Things have cooled down from what it seems. My ex and I have wished each other happy birthday and such. I gave her a small gift nothing too big, just a sticker. I didn’t wanna seem creepy I guess. We start to get a bit more friendly around each other. We used to completely avoid each other and like she would show she was mad by like pushing me slightly in halls and giving me looks. I never took her actions personally because I know I was at fault and that she was pissed at me.
Now, I really wanna apologize and repair everything and just get on good terms but I just don’t know how. I’m not sure what would even happen. She has a new, new, boyfriend which, he definitely doesn’t like me. I think. But my ex has like been asking questions about me like if i still talk about her. She also unblocked my insta for a few. I’m not sure if I’m picking up like “yo, i hate you less” stuff. I don’t know.
What should I do?

Well, me 18f and my bf 19m have been together for one year now.
In the beggining, our relationship was perfect, that until his girl bsf appeared and wanted to take over my place (this sounds so childish, but Istg it was like that). He defended her for 4 months, while she was talking shit on me to him and to all of their friends. That was until at some point I told him to choose between one of us and he chose losing all contact with her. One month later, he unblocked her and they talked for some days until I found out. Since then, they never talked again.
While that, he was also maintaining contact with his ex. It was anything much really, but I felt extremely uncomfortable with it.
2 months after, I was watching some reels on his Phone with him when a female friend of him dm'ed him. He quickly turned the notification down and I found the behaviour weird, so I asked to see what it was. He debied a little but he ended up showing me. He had replied to basically all of her stories, telling her she was pretty. HE NEVER DID THIS TO ME. I go down on his dms, all I find is him telling Girls how majestic they are. I crushed down at that moment and he just stayed there looking at me. I ended up for giving him and telling him to never do it again because It was totally disrespectful, even tho he didnt see anything wrong with it.
Some weeks after I found out he snaps this one girl 24/7, I ask him to stop, but cant do anything because Its snapchat, I cant know what was on the conversation.
So, one month ago, 2 days before my birthday and some weeks after our 1 year aniversary, I found out he was flirting with this one girl. She has a thick body and is kinda pretty (in my opinion), me, meanwhile, am a Model for a big agency so you can imagine I Am not really the thickest girl and tbh thats a real big problem to my confidence. Anyways, he was complimenting her body, her eyes, her clothes. And the worst: she wasnt even replying. I broke up but he begged for one more chance and I gave it with the condition of having his Instagram on my Phone, and that was it.
Some weeks ago, I found posts of half naked woman on his saved posts. I confronte him and he admited that it was disgusting and was sorry about it, and that was all.
Right now, I just found out that his snaps is full of Girls and he had 50 days streak with multiple Girls, while he wouldnt reply to mines. What made me really mad.
I want to add that yes, I have been toxic lately. I Am overly jealous and toxic, but I wasnt like this. I feel like he manipulates me and he made me go from a really liberal gf to a gf thats always overthinking on what he is doing. I also want to add that he went cold and dry on me for MONTHS and only came back to normal after I found out abt the Last girl he was flirting with. Before that, he would just love bomb me whenever he did something wrong, and that was all.
With this all said, what would you guys advice me on doing?

Well, me 18f and my bf 19m have been together for one year now.
In the beggining, our relationship was perfect, that until his girl bsf appeared and wanted to take over my place (this sounds so childish, but Istg it was like that). He defended her for 4 months, while she was talking shit on me to him and to all of their friends. That was until at some point I told him to choose between one of us and he chose losing all contact with her. One month later, he unblocked her and they talked for some days until I found out. Since then, they never talked again.
While that, he was also maintaining contact with his ex. It was anything much really, but I felt extremely uncomfortable with it.
2 months after, I was watching some reels on his Phone with him when a female friend of him dm'ed him. He quickly turned the notification down and I found the behaviour weird, so I asked to see what it was. He debied a little but he ended up showing me. He had replied to basically all of her stories, telling her she was pretty. HE NEVER DID THIS TO ME. I go down on his dms, all I find is him telling Girls how majestic they are. I crushed down at that moment and he just stayed there looking at me. I ended up for giving him and telling him to never do it again because It was totally disrespectful, even tho he didnt see anything wrong with it.
Some weeks after I found out he snaps this one girl 24/7, I ask him to stop, but cant do anything because Its snapchat, I cant know what was on the conversation.
So, one month ago, 2 days before my birthday and some weeks after our 1 year aniversary, I found out he was flirting with this one girl. She has a thick body and is kinda pretty (in my opinion), me, meanwhile, am a Model for a big agency so you can imagine I Am not really the thickest girl and tbh thats a real big problem to my confidence. Anyways, he was complimenting her body, her eyes, her clothes. And the worst: she wasnt even replying. I broke up but he begged for one more chance and I gave it with the condition of having his Instagram on my Phone.
Some weeks ago, I found posts of half naked woman on his saved posts. I confronte him and he admited that it was disgusting and was sorry about it.
Right now, I just found out that his snaps is full of Girls and he had 50 days streak with multiple Girls, while he wouldnt reply to mines.
I want to add that yes, I have been toxic lately. I Am overly jealous and toxic, but I wasnt like this. I feel like he manipulates me and he made me go from a really liberal gf to a gf thats always overthinking on what he is doing. I also want to add that he went cold and dry on me for MONTHS and only came back to normal after I found out abt the Last girl he was flirting with. Before that, he would just love bomb me whenever he did something wrong.
With this, what do you guys think I should do about this situation? I really love him and I dont want to let him go, but I feel really unsure.
Tl;Dr; : basically, my bf has microcheated multiple times, love bombs me, manipulates me with sorries and always begs me to stay. He is always doing me wrong but I love him, now idk if I should break up with him.

So I M(19) am currently in a situation that I don’t know how to handle without hurting my friend. I met my friend we’ll call him Alex in the beginning of my freshmen year of college every thing started out fine we were becoming better friends everyday then he joined a frat which was fine but started ditching me often. After the first month of the semester he was dropped from the frat he told they didn’t like him so I took it for what it was. So after that we started talking more and I started realizing he lies like no other but claims it as he joking but it’s to the point where he lies about the dumbest things I thought after time it would change but it didn’t. So now in the second semester he tried joining another frat and was given a bid but after a week in they told him he couldn’t join cause of what ever happened at his last frat he started spiraling and started talking about killing himself I confronted him and was there for him but it felt like he would flip a switch and go from being super sad to then lies about stupid things again later on in the year I met my friend we’ll call her lily we became super close and she was the first person I could sit with and not get annoyed with. One night me and lily were talking about a bunch of random stuff and Alex got brought up she knew him and said she didn’t like him when I asked why she had just said he’s weird. So me and lily started hanging out more and when Alex would see that he would get mad that I didn’t invite him which I felt bad about but I didn’t want to make lily uncomfortable so I kinda push it back. So now more recently he was going to my frat party’s but got a text from one of the dudes that he’s blacklisted from the frat this sent him into an ugly spiral and he started getting mad at me for not taking him to the frat like I had the power to get him unblacklisted when I just became a pledge. I tried to find out the reason why but couldn’t so I started to distance myself a bit more because I don’t want to be rejected from the frat for his actions when he swears he doesn’t know why any of this stuff is happening to him. Now come this weekend I was in the room with a group of my girl friends( I forgot to mention I’m gay) and we were pre gaming to go to the frats because it’s the last weekend of partying so I was drinking pretty hard and got a call from him at 11:30 as I’m walking to the frat he was mad at me once again for not telling which I reminded him once again that he’s blacklisted he then started telling me about how he doesn’t fuck with anyone anymore which I just replied with ok because I was pretty drunk in that moment and didn’t want this to ruin my night he then says that one of his friends killed himself today which I replied with oh… like what did he want me to say I was drunk it’s a Friday night. So I’m like I’m sorry and he’s like yeah so I’m gonna get pretty drunk tonight and I said ok just make sure you stay safe he replies with whatever and hangs up. For some reason this set me off and I blocked him I know it was a dick move to do but like I don’t know what he wanted me to do about it in that moment I keep on looking back and its always shit about him he’s always the person with the problems and disregards mine which I could care less about because I feel like I’m pretty good at dealing with my own shit. So the next day I unblocked him and sent him a long message saying the I’m sorry that his year has been rough but I can’t do it anymore I can’t deal with his extremes anymore and that if he was truly depressed he should really try out therapy cause I know form experience it does help and that I also just need to distant myself from him because I need to focus on my health and happiness and I can’t deal with his too so AITAH?

I need some help please and if you're going to judge, that is ok, I accept I have done wrong but I am trying to leave the situation and do right. I need genuine advice please, literally begging here.
I am a victim of domestic violence from a family member in my own home that I own and have been for many years, I'm working on getting away from it, though can't really see how I can do it. This troubled home life became known to this man, let's call him Peter. Peter and I work in the same office, he is a superior but not my superior. Peter has his eyes on me from day one and over time, wore me down to confide in him. I couldn't see it at the time but years later I can see he was manipulating me to rely on him for everything, which I did. At the time, he was with a woman called Julie. He did not like Julie at all but also didn't want to be with me. I didn't want to be with him but i relied on him for support. Eventually he leaves Julie and tries to get with me so I relent and give in. However I am not happy with life with him as he is extremely controlling and it is short lived and I go no contact for a year despite in the same work place. He goes back to Julie. He then tries to come back over and over and over. Leaving Julie every time and trying to get with me, as I am trauma bonded to him, I can't let him go either as he is a huge beam of support. Though every time he leaves, I move on and enjoy my life and eventually I come to realise I much prefer it without him. I know I should never have allowed him back as much as I did but he is extremely manipulative and that is not an understatement. Don't underestimate how manipulative he is and he KNOWS what he's doing. He knows the key phrases and even admitted in passing he's narcissistic. He is the definition of a narcissist through and through. Also just to stress, during this time I couldn't see that he was a narcissist. I was reliant beyond words on him, that whenever he'd not speak to me, it would kill me. But like i said, during this time over several years, I was not in a good place and dependent on him for almost everything. As time went by and I realised this and began to look forward to the times he would ghost me because this would mean I was free but he was the one leaving me. I didn't have to do it.
He has told me about the games he plays with other people (he's a manager at my workplace but not my manager thankfully) and he's extremely calculated. He never forgets anything, remembers every little detail about me from my bra size to the date I got a new watch etc. It's scary how accurate and how much he remembers. He stalks my social media profiles, he uses other co-workers and friends to gain information about me. Even during no contact!!
He's desperate to come back for another time and thinks I love him and calls me all the time, sees me at work, tells our mutual co-worker friends he loves and I love him. He's overbearing but I feel like it's an addiction to him. I don't want to be committed to a life of misery with him. He has shown me before what life would be like if I were in a relationship with him and I didn't like it. I just never had the balls to say so. I don't know how to let him go myself. I am happy being free and want to meet someone else but I want to be free right now and discover my own likes and dislikes and personality as I've been under his and my abusive family member's control for so long now. I know I need therapy, I know I am a trainwreck but I am BEGGING for help here. I literally can't see anyway to get out of this. I can't leave home I have responsibilities though sometimes i want to leave the country. I don't want to leave my job as I love it and the people there are supportive of my home situation and leaving would mean having to explain that all again and right now, I need the people I know around me as the domestic abuse is rampant.
Peter keeps telling me our love is so strong. I've blocked him but then he manipulates his way back through work and I end up unblocking. I don't want to report it at work as it'll only cause me trouble.
How do I get rid of him without making him mad because I know he will be mad and may try to punish me through work. I've managed to do it before but he always comes back. Always. He can be very loving and then very cold and distant.
I am concerned for my own health and well being here. He is a dangerous man. I'll be honest when I first met him I was not in my right mind, very susceptible and vulnerable and stupid. Now, I have grown, realised what I want and don't want but I also do not know how to break that trauma bond healthily and in a good way.
What do I do? I've almost decided to leave the planet a few times over all of this but everytime the people who lovee me have stopped me from doing anything stupid. I may have gotten myself into this in a way and brough a lot of it on but at the same time I deserve a chance to redeem myself and be free and live a life of redemption and learning from mistakes. but he will NEVER let me go and he has said this many times. EVER. I am not scared of him physically hurting me though. Even if i left the job, left the town, blocked him everywhere, I guarantee you he'd still think about me and would try and find me somewhere.

I (M18) had a great relationship with a girl who I really thought would be the one I marry one day. She was year younger than me and I plan on attending college later this year and was really adamant about staying together through it all. That is until I learned about a bunch of secrets being hidden from me.
To start, I had went on a cruise midway through last year and met a nice girl who had I had hit it off really well with from the start. Given, she made it blatantly clear that she had a boyfriend and I respected that fully. TBH I had no intention of getting with her because of that and only wanted to enjoy a cruise within the friend group that we had developed. I had helped her with a college course she had been enrolled in because I was bored and we were about to go clubbing and I like to think of myself as a somewhat academic person so I opted to help with her assignment. I ended up doing the assignment for her and basically saved her from failing the class because it was due at 11:59 and I was the only one who could do it under a hour.
Anyways, we get off the cruise and I keep in contact with her afterwards. At this time me and her brother become basically bestfriends and play games together all the time. She ended up "ending" things with her boyfriend a few weeks later after the cruise and we became closer because of that. She invited me to a wedding with her family and I went. I had suggested playfully matching colors for outfits and she surprisingly agreed. I forgot to mention she lives about a 2 hour drive away from me so I WAS a little but of hassle getting there but it was worth the drive. After the wedding we become way closer and as the days nearing our start of the HS school year come things seem to be coming to a good spot. Until I dropped the question the day before school started. She ended up blocking me for the first 3 days of school due to she was "trying to give her ex another chance because he said he changed." I was hurt but I just accepted this was a talking stage for us and I just let it go. This ex is the root of my issues. He has abused her, allegedly SA her, and verbally degraded her to the point where she turned to self harm to punish herself because she was being gas lit into thinking she was the problem. He had been her first everything and she called it a trauma bond.
After the 3 days of being blocked she unblocked me and told me that she made a mistake with her ex and that he really wasn't going to change. I thought "oh wow I have a chance again" and took her back and reignited the flame we once had. Another 3 weeks go by of us talking and I finally make her my girlfriend and drive to see her. Once we had become official, I basically drove 2 hours every Saturday to go see her and take her on dates. I really wanted to treat her the way she deserved to be treated because her ex had mistreated her and her family had been in shambles (dad throws parties and neglects the kids and the mother is a mentally ill women who threatens to hurt herself). I knew the risks of a long distance relationship but to me, it was worth it. I learned what a wonderful person she was through the talking phases I had with her and the late nights where all we did was stay up and talk on the phone. She was my first everything and taught me a whole lot of thing that I never thought I'd learn from someone. Towards our 4 month of dating we started to become rocky and argue about things here and there. She was diagnosed with clinical depression from a young age so her mental health got a hold of her a lot making her become emotional and upset at me. We ended up breaking up due to that and she said she had to focus on her mental health. I was distraught but understanding and we stopped seeing each other. It sucked because I had asked her to homecoming a week prior and even had her parents approval to sleep in her room with her because they really had trusted me (a little sketchy now looking back but eh). Its a different type of expierience when you sleep skin to skin with someone you cherish.
Fast forward 2 months, she reaches back out to me to say that she wanted to be friends again. I was hesitant but agreed and ended up going wayyy to far and ending being convince to try the relationship again. We began dating again and everything was amazing. We spent christmas together and new years on a roof top sushi resturant that had been my favorite (i paid for a $400 meal that night). We were amazing up until February. Since we were long distance, we had each others location in case we needed to get in contact. She told me she was going out with her friends on valentines day for a Galentines since it was a tradition for her. I knew her friends and they confirmed that with me. I ended up tired and checked her location for fun to see her at a address i didn't recognize at around 7pm. I called her bestfriend and she had said that my girlfriend had left a hour ago to go home. my gfs house and her bsfs houses are not an hour apart. So I end up calling her multiple times and was sent to voicemail everytime. I was playing with her brother and he told me about the address and my heart sank. It was the ex's house. The bestfriend ended up telling me that they both went to his house to confront him because he had been begging to be friends again to JUST be friends and they went their to confront him. The bsfs ended up scolding him for mistreating my gf and to just forget about it because of how bad he had treated her, My gf later went back on her own time for an hour and a half to talk to him and tell him that they couldn't be friends. When she got home and called me, she told me she just got back from her bsfs house and lied to my face. When I confronted her she became really upset and cried saying she didn't know how to tell me and that it was really just to tell him no and that they couldn't be anything out of respect for me. I was upset and made that clear but then she turned it into a "trauma bond" and how she had to talk because she felt bad. And then she brought up her depression and such and mental health and how she felt like everyone hated her. I calmed her down but then went to bed because I felt dissmissed and the whole situation still not being clarified. I forgave her and she ended up driving up to see me to celebrate a late valentines day with me. Everything was okay from there on out, with the occasional argument about the whole valentines day thing again, and we were somewhat steady.
Then my birthday came around. The big 18. I took a shift on my birthday because it landed on a friday and I had wanted to celebrate my birthday the next day with my gf. After I got off work I called my gf to tell her about my day and then when she picked up it was pitch dark. She had been crying because one of her friends had brought up her ex to her and she got triggered with trauma from him and cried. Her parents ended up yelling at her for crying and told her to cut it out because it bothered everyone in the house but that only made it worse. She ended up leaving and drove to a random parking lot. Police were called and she ended up getting baker acted because there were signs of harm on her arms. This is when I had logged into her socials to see what exactly had been the issue and found that there was a DM from a friend and it said, "does your boyfriend know that youve been playing games with youre ex." She had said no and that her and her ex were no longer talking at all. I snoop around a little bit more and uncover the entire truth. She had been contacting him ever since valentines day and they had been hanging out behind my back and talking to each other. The ex still called her baby and princess and she didnt saying anything about it. They had skipped school together and even kissed in the car (my gf would later say this was forced and she couldnt say no and had cried when it happened). And when I found out that she had decided to go on a date on my birthday with him i lost it. When she called me from the ward phone that night I flipped out. I asked her why she had been cheating on me and she said she didnt know and that it was a big mistake. She didnt know how to tell me about it and cried to me. i couldnt handle it and blocked her while she was in the mental hospital still. I was so hurt and destroyed that I didnt come out of my room for days. Her brother helped me get videos and screenshots of the messages between the two. When she was discharged she had decided to have the brother convince me to unblock her and talk to her again abt it all. I listened. I was told that it was a mistake and that she didn't know what to do because she really felt bad for him since he had no friends. She told me that she regrets it and only wants me and our future together. I told her that it was over but we could still be friends and work past it possibly.
After that, we had slowly began fixing things and working together, but still arguing a lot. She said I love you on multiple occasions and even kissed me. I felt gross. She became upset at me when I didn't reciprocate back and told me that I was confusing her. I honestly didnt know what i wanted because one side of me wanted to go back to being her boyfriend, the other half wanted to be her ex because she cheated. A week ago we had a really bad arguement and she threatened to hurt herself and even threatened to end her self because she had been struggling with mental health for so long and that if I didnt have a future with her then she didnt see a future at all. The argurment had been about why i didnt reciprocate back and what i wanted which ended awfully. She had expected me to treat her like her boyfriend again and comfort her when she was really struggling which I did, but no in the way that I used to and more like a friend would. I couldnt bring myself to do it and call her baby and calm her down. After her threats and her constant berating of me I had enough. I said that I couldn't work past all of this and that she had cheated on me for weeks and that this pain wouldnt go away with the way we've been going. I said my goodbyes and she begged me to stay and that she would change but I couldn't handle it anymore. She even had her mother crying to me begging me because she loved me and my gf so much and only wanted to see us together. I couldn't. I blocked her on all socials and her number blocked to. She had posted about me not treating her correctly and it made me feel bad and almost unblock her and try again but I stopped myself. I can't lie. I did fight and I didnt treat her the best after I found out, but by no means did I abuse her or go as far to make her feel small and a burden around me. I only ever tried to communicate with her and work on the future we had promised each other to end. But in the end, I couldn't keep my promise of staying forever and making the future we had promised each other become a reality.
AITA?

Last night I went into bed and like I normally do and give her some cuddles and kiss on her cheek. She was asleep so obviously wasn’t expecting anything as I do this every night before I get in bed with her and sleep myself. Last night she mumbled something I couldn’t understand and she is a sleep talker. It’s funny most times so I asked her what so she could repeat it and I still couldn’t make it out. It sounded unfamiliar and after the third time it sounded like a name so I kinda got startled and asked what she called me still in a calm voice. She said she said idk and then she said Italian which I am but just didn’t make sense but I mean she was sleep talking so I told her okay and went to the gaming room to chill. I know this part wasn’t fair for me to get upset and I really wasn’t I was more curious and kinda concerned but I knew it wasn’t valid she was sleeping and it wasn’t for sure a name.
I got to thinking as I definitely shouldn’t have and checked her instagram followers for the name it sounded like (I know thinking way to much). I discovered there that her ex is unblocked and following her.
In the first year or two of our 5 year relationship she unblocked him twice after she told me she would the first time because of the damage he did to her (I asked about him but didn’t request the block she offered). I discovered he was liking post and I confronted her about it she said it was while we were fighting and technically not dating so it didn’t matter. While it’s the fact that she went out of her way to do that on a short break so I asked her to block him and she agreed and said it was what she wanted and was happy to do it. I haven’t checked since then which I kinda regret.
The main reason I am upset hurt and feeling this way is because she doesn’t feel like she has done anything wrong she told me it was because I am insecure last night which was definitely out of anger but that really hurt maybe because it’s true but I don’t sit there and accuse her out outlandish stuff that doesn’t make sense she did something to hurt me and went back on her word. She doesn’t remember unblocking him and denying she meant to do it. She keeps she didn’t do anything wrong but she will say “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings”.
Last note is yes I am insecure and I know it’s not fair nor healthy I suffer from something that makes me not able to be intimate often (not an excuse it I understand it doesn’t make it okay) and that makes me feel like I am not good enough even though she has reassured me I am and she doesn’t care about that issue.

She and I have been split up for a year and a half solid now. We were together for almost 5-6 years. We grew up together, healed each other from all kinds of traumas and created so many more. Two years ago she got pregnant. We were living in the loft of a pole barn through the summer and beginning of winter. I was needless to say your average deadbeat (smokes tons of weed, can’t maintain work/income, selling drugs to do what I could to feed my habits. She was working full time as a Traffic Control Flagger, while I was tending to my family who’s property we lived on, ate their food, moved into their house come winter (we only stayed in the barn because my ex didn’t want to be around my(severely autistic) baby cousin who my grandma and uncle who lived at the house took care of full time. To say the least it was not the ideal environment for my ex let alone a new born. The pregnancy was beyond rough for her. She couldn’t keep food down regardless of what it was. No sleep, still working to pay for insurance on her car I had paid for off fb marketplace, her phone bill and whatever else she could afford after that. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore. Don’t quote me but I believe she was 5-6 weeks. For our state that was the limit for an abortion. Through a lot of crying among things said she asked me if I supported her getting the abortion. I said yes. I didn’t want to bring my child into this world with the person I was. Afterwards she began to hold more and more animosity towards me. Eventually she threatened that she wanted to leave, I hadn’t changed from who I was, I said, okay I’ll help you pack. Flat out. No remorse just anger. She fought with me and my outburst led me to taking off on foot walking down the highway and taking side roads across state line towards my Mom and Stepdad lived on the phone with my brother who lived there. While I was walking she had packed everything and cleaned up the room from her packing and me being at the point of breaking. I was maybe halfway there and she had rolled up next to me in her car begging for me to just get in and talk about it all. (Me being dead set on how I felt) I just kept walking and arguing with her. If she truly wanted to leave and be done with it all didn’t want any part in any of it. My stepdad had been looped in on what was going on and came by to pick me up to which I gladly got in his car (still arguing with her) to which she left as soon as I closed the door(all the windows were down it wasn’t like I had walled her off all together. Fast forward two weeks she had gone back to live with her mom, trying to contact me the entire two weeks which after another argument over the phone I had blocked her. Eventually I began to talk to her again and she made her feelings clear but still wanted me to stay with her at her moms to which I abliged (we’ve lived together for 3-4 years at this point, being without eschother in a codependent, toxic situation only added to the issues we had prior to the break up. Overall we only grew more apart.
In the first year of the breakup I was dead set on doing whatever I could to try to better myself for he“trying to win her back” as she calls it. I had a job working for $12/hr putting everything I had towards trying to help her with her bills when she couldn’t get work anymore after an issue with her last job. Eventually a family friend reached out with an opportunity I couldn’t deny. He offered me 50/hrs a week at $20. The most legal money I had ever made, she slowly became more and more friendly with these guy friends then telling me about it because “I’m the closest person she has to her” She made it clear she wanted the attention from her male friends more than me so I left state to West Virginia for 3months . We stayed in contact (still arguing frequently) until I finally said I couldn’t watch her try to love someone else while still trying to keep me around, I blocked her .
Towards my last month there I had unblocked her and reached out replying to a paragraph she had left me. The phone calls started and slowly we started being okay with eachother again other than when she would talk about the guys she would bring to her house or go to theirs.
It was getting close to her birthday and I had promised I would be home for it. She had another guy go in place of me since we had argued about him the day before. I spent 4-5 months doing odd jobs, trying to get my license, partying with old friends. Things finally started looking up. I had more or less just started replying whenever she would text or call but never reaching out first. Whenever I did she would answer abruptly say she couldn’t talk and hang up. Eventually shit happened at her moms and she couldn’t stay there anymore and came crying to me asking if she could live with me. I said no and she went off to go live with the guy who showed up with her at my house that night. Eventually leaving his house and coming back to me again because he was controlling and aparrently they were together to which she never mentioned to me. (She had slept with me twice while she was living with him, hopping back and forth between my bed and his until I eventually just told her to move her stuff in.
She would stay at my house maybe two times a week. She worked down the road from my house(5-10mins) decided I couldn’t take living like this anymore and fought tooth and nail to get into a factory with my friend. Fast forward 3 months she’s trying to get an apartment and asks if I’ll co-sign I told her yes but I had a criteria: I didn’t want to be around her guy friends/dudes she’s slept with while we’ve been split up. Long story short she got approved by herself and expects me to be there to support her financially. I’ve helped her pay on it twice now and have told her I can’t keep helping her and not myself. I have no vehicle, no money in savings. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support her when we aren’t together don’t plan to and haven’t been together?
There is 100% context missing from this, I’m posting before work and trying my best to explain the situation without ranting on.

We started dating in january 2021 and he broke up with me on his birthday in october 2022.
If i’m honest, i had never loved anyone like i loved him, i cared so much about him and i would put in all my efforts to make sure he was happy. but he didn’t have good mental health and broke up with me and completely deleted me out of his life and we haven’t spoken since, like i see him a lot as we go to the same college but we never talk. it took me a while to get over him, but i managed to get over him at around February 2023.
The main thing i would like to say is that i think he loves me again, or still loves me.(saying that makes me think i’m delusional). When i see him at college i see so many signs that he could potentially still love me and over the past 3 days i’ve actually just collected all those thoughts together and came to that conclusion. If i’m honest, me thinking that he still loves me is starting to do bad for my mental health, because i believed i was over him but my feelings are coming back because of this.
So firstly, he’s now got a gf, but i don’t believe that he loves her for her. she has some similarities to me and he started to date her only a few months after we broke up. and there’s many reasons why i don’t think he loves her. For example: 1)when we are in college and she walks into a classroom with me and him in it, he doesn’t even say hi or acknowledge she’s there, like he will look at there then look away. and my brain tell’s me that if he loves her he would surely say hello or smile at the bare minimum. 2) in a few months we have this event coming up which is similar to prom and one of my teachers was asking the class who was going to prom and he said he wasn’t, and my teacher(know in he had a gf) asked him if he’s gonna let his gf go on her own to prom, and he bluntly said he didn’t want to go, just ignoring her question. and for the end of school prom, me and him went together etehr and he was so excited about it, so it shocked me when he said he didn’t wanna go and acted like he didn’t care if his gf went alone. 3) a while back after we broke up he ended up blocking me on instagram because we got into a fight and after that we didn’t message at all, but his profile has come up on my suggested to follow, meaning that he has gone into his settings and chosen to unblock me, but idk why 4) also i think he forced his relationship with his current gf to try get over me, back in february 2023 i messaged him asking if he was dating this girl(his now current gf) and he said yes, but recently i saw her posting on her instagram story about there 1 year anniversary in march, so i went back to check my messages and found out he told me they were dating before they actually were by a whole 2 weeks. and i always wonder why he lied 5) also recently in college i have noticed him staring at me, but it’s kinda weird since we never talk.
those are just 5 of the many reasons. and i know they don’t really all mean that he loves me, i’m just more judging the theory of that if he don’t love his gf then he might love me. and that thought has been really playing with my mind recently. like i want to add him on instagram and message him asking how he is (since he unblocked me). but he’s got a gf so i don’t think it is wise.
REDDIT HELP ME BEFORE I FALL FOR HIM AGAIN.

I spent a lot of my coming of age years living part time with these 2 individuals and they initially helped me out when my parents divorced but after 4 to 5 years of being incredibly close to them my cousin became verbally cruel and ignored and his now ex used me to get all of her stuff out of his place and then abruptly blocked, unblocked, lied about blocking and when I called her out she got extremely defensive and blocked again. I thought it was cruel and immature on both of their parts. So after they blocked when I confronted them and told them how much they hurt me. I wrote them one letter each. 0% intimidating. 0% cruel just explaining how much they hurt me and took advantage of me until they were done. And then I messaged them on their backup social media accounts a few months later once again being totally non threatening. So my 2 questions are is it legal to reach out multiple times to people who ignore? And my other question was it legitimate abandonment that after living part time with them for my developmental years from a teenage guy to a young adult guy that they abruptly became cruel and users and then with little explanation blocked and ignored? Keep in mind this wasn't any cousin and cousins partner I LIVED part time with them during important rough years of my life.

7 month relationship. Not long, but I gotta say he was probably one of my greatest loves. I’d say it was mutual but at the same time he struggled with honesty around his party lifestyle. We broke up two weeks ago so it’s of course super fresh. I had him blocked briefly because I’d tried to end it a couple times before actually pulling the plug and he would blow up my phone and I’d cave. After almost 2 weeks I thought the storm would have calmed and decided to unblock him, thinking if he reached out I would be able to neutralize the breakup instead of leaving it heated like I did.
The day after unblocking, I see a missed call from him. I texted him the next day saying i saw the missed call but wasn’t sure if it was an accident. he said “yes i called”. i asked what was up and he acted like I was now bothering him. Still, he told me how he got a new job and i was able to tell him i was happy for him. He left me on read but that felt better than before.
Yesterday (5 days later) I saw he was calling again. I was having a really hard day and decided whatever, I’m just gonna call him back. So I did maybe 10 mins later and he said “that was an accident. i meant to call someone else.” I mean, fine if that’s the case but I know he’s on the phone a lot so i doubt his last call to me was anywhere at the top of his list. And if i accidentally called him or anyone else, I would text to say “sorry, accident”. He just… waited?
I just feel like he’s messing with me but I also don’t get the point. It’s not like he uses these opportunities to talk well. was hoping we could be neutral and not hate each other… Naive?
Anyway, what’s with his calls?

So close to giving up
I am so close to giving up. Finally things started to get good for me in my life career wise and and I self sabotaged. I keep blocking and unblocking my ex narc. I’m so sick and twisted. why can’t I move on from him.11 years of mind games I know he doesn’t care I feel all this stuff is all on me now. I know he’s a narcissst I know he isn’t capable of treating me right. I know now what I experienced is/was abuse.
Then on top of all those feelings I lost my biggest support. It’s like a I repel anything good in my life as soon as I get close to it. My best friend the biggest support in my life is being so distant after she set up a nice birthday for me yesterday. I’ve been apologizing and trying anything to get her to tell me what is wrong bc I drank too much and don’t remember but I know At one point she was upset bc I was showing gratitude to everyone but her but I was over compensating and I didn’t get to her yet. The truth is I love her so much that I maybe I was afraid I’d say too much. She’s the best thing in my life and I’m terrified of losing her and i guess I push people away i am afraid of losing. Idk what happened. I haven’t drank like that in over 10 months and now I remember why . The shame and anxiety and I’ve been thru it before but everytime my best friend reassured me and provided me comfort and now I can’t get any reassurance. It’s not her fault I am too codependent I can’t self soothe. I feel useless and worthless and horrible.
I have so much to do but I can’t motivate myself to do it. I feel so down and suicidal. I feel so hopeless. Without my best friend and support I realize I am nothing.
She won’t talk to me about it. Idk what to do . I feel so low. Never felt this close to just ending it all. I feel so alone and like such a burden. To everyone. It was a mistake I was even born.
I know they say feelings don’t last but this feeling is heavy in my throat and gut. How do I hold on

my ex (23) and I (21) broke up 6 months ago. 2 weeks after we broke up, he got a new girl friend. I was heart broken and devastated, and I am doing better but I'm still trying to repair the wounds he caused. Early this year, he kept sending friend requests which I ignored. He did it for about a month and stopped in February. This morning, he sent me a cash app request, sent me a dollar and had the message as "Unblock me I want to talk." I don't really know how to feel. He is still with his new girl friend and I'm still trying to heal as we were together for a year. What could he possibly want to talk about? He already showed me his true colors and I don't want to get back together. Should I reply or ignore it? It's been bothering me all day.

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting but I'm in a wreck and I don't know what to do. I know he has a reddit account otherwise I'd post it on relationship_advice but he's less likely to see it on here and he's not a huge fan of watching the reddit stories I watch on youtube so I should be good (crossing my fingers). So getting to the point, he cheated on me a couple months ago and I forgave him because:

1. He told me immediately instead of letting me find out on my own
   
2. He blocked her and showed me proof of it. (we also allow each other access to each others phones so I can see if he's unblocked her)
   
3. He was guilty that he did it and didn't blame me at all for any reason (like how most guys do)
   
4. He was very open and honest about the whole thing (they didn't do anything "too bad" he was only touching her chest)
   
5. biggest green flag from my boyfriends mom where she didn't try to cover for her son she just said, "sorry I raised the biggest idiot"
   

But anyways onto the trouble I'm having. It's been pretty hard lately because of him cheating, I've been more depressed, having more bad days and having negative thoughts that I'm not pretty enough. I try to talk to him about this but he always shuts it down because he doesn't want to talk about it, but I need to talk about it to heal. It's just terrible because I have more of an alt style and his previous ex's were the opposite to that. (Mormon, long hair, lighter makeup, ect.) He constantly tells me that he loves me but half the time I don't believe him because he never does anything to back it up, I've told him what my love language is, (words of affirmation and gift giving) but the only thing he wants to do is physical touch and the only thing he did after he cheated was give me a bouquet of flowers (this is the only time he's ever given me flowers) and a box of chocolates. sometimes I have to beg him to go out on dates with me and I always have to offer to pay otherwise he doesn't want to go out. (he's saving to move out of his parents house and I'm living there too, but I won't be moving out with him for a bit.) Sometimes I want to scream at him because he treats his friends better than he treats me. So far my therapist has told me to write him a letter to and then I can either give it to him or just let it be a way to get my emotions out. I want to give it to him but I'm also terrified to do so. I don't want to break up with him, and I don't want that as advice, I just wanna know if giving him this letter will help him see my perspective and if there's any advice other than to break up I would like to hear it.
Thank you for giving the time to read this post, I hope y'all have a good day.

So I have an on and off situationship with this girl that lasted 3 years and is still going, (off days are usually 2-3 days) she would block me then unblocks me and texts me. Last time we decided not to talk anymore, she ignored me for three weeks and I started sending her emails because she blocked me before I got to finish what I was going to say and I didn’t get the closure I needed.
Now she texted me few days ago to talk about it, when we met to do that she started holding my hand and telling me that she’s not leaving me but at the same time she told me what are her feelings towards me and that she hates me I couldn’t say anything because I was so confused also she said that she blocked me three weeks because she wanted me to think about how shit my personality is. we started to talks again and it was one sided basically i was texting myself and she would only answer with one world. Today she told me to leave her,
I really need some advice to get out of this, I don’t really want to be in her life anymore but I can’t leave her after she told me that she’s having some real big problems that’s making her wanna push people away.