I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MediumGrouchy5547
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, depression, self-harm, eating disorder, possible mental health issues
Editor’s Note: TCA stands for trastornos de la conducta alimentaria which translates into “eating disorder”
Rastafarian: a religious movement
Original Post: April 26, 2024
I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate.
When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life.
My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because tbh it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you.
She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on.
Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be searched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything.
In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly.
The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together.
I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive.
Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place.
While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all.
I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened.
She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people.
We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents.
I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good.
But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her.
But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us.
Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice.
Additional Information from OOP on his sister’s note

OOP: My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly.
I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems.
How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.

Relevant Comments
Mil1512: Is your sister neurodivergent?
With the hitting herself when struggling with anxiety and enjoying solitude.
I'm neurodivergent and my family live in another country. I honestly forget to talk to them most of the time and only really do because my mum messages me first. If she didn't we just wouldn't talk. Not due to any hate or anything, I'm just happy doing my own thing.

OOP: She's not. My sister had a lot of self-destructive behaviors and hurting herself was one of them when she felt 'fat', she also had eating disorders and panic attacks because of that. I don't remember too much but she did other things to not eat besides hitting herself, she was very open about her TCA and yes, she has a diagnosis from a professional.
My sister was always in touch with my mother and everyone in text, she always used to keep in touch when she was going out until the day she left, now she doesn't even have a phone. In her note she just said that she wanted to leave everything

mikuzgrl: It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.

OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/

 
Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos: May 1, 2024
I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her.
What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that.
I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight.
I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
 
Editor’s Note: TLP is trastorno límite de la personalidad which translates into Borderline Personality Disorder
Update: May 7, 2024
On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of them are rastafari, not hippies or a sect. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot.
My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music (tbh, In my memories as a child I didn't remember the obvious smell of joints that my sister had all the time)
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind.
She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual mentality, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone.
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other.
She hates capitalist society with all her soul and doesn't even have a TV. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city. My sister told me that she wants to talk to our parents but doesn't knows what to say and we don't want to give them parents a shock since our dad was sick a few days ago and is recovering from dengue.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate.
And she's not neurodivergent (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP), suffers from ED, borderline personality disorder and see a psychologist twice a month.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha
Relevant Comments
OOP on his sister being involved with Rastafari

OOP: Idk how it is in other countries to be honest, my sister doesn't live in community and there are no camps, she's one of the few who has a house because most of them prefer to travel around the country.
I really think it's impossible for them to be 100% Rastafarian here tbh because we are from South America and the Rastafarian community here is obviously totally different from the REAL Rastafarians, they just follow most of the philosophy
Edit: for example, my sister doesn't consider herself Rastafarian but she share some points of the philosophy they have, I don't know how the rest of them thinks

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Hi, I'm op, I have an eating disorder. (Hiiii op) First time posting so here we go.
It started when I was 15ish? The pro-ana pro-mia blogs of aincent internet, Tumblr, is where i spent most of my after school life. Continued for a while, I looked fine. Cried when I ate a bite of cake for my birthday. Usual teenager things.
18 years old I get diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
Listen, I'm not sure what happened, I just exploded. Insulin? Idk makes you swell like a balloon or something. I ended up gaining over 100 lbs before I even knew it. So fast i didn't even notice those weren't injection scars, they were stretch marks. Two years go by now. Having to balance blood sugar, eating enough to keep myself from going low, not too much. Binging, purging, and restricting suddenly became a LOT harder. Binge? High blood sugar. Purge? Risk going low. Restrict? Go low.
Eventually, I learned/realized that one of the reasons I wasn't gaining weight before is that undiagnosed diabetes is weight loss. From 20-26 I battled what has been dubbed as Diabulimia. This is the practice of not taking or restricting insulin. At the expense of eyes, toes, kidneys, and of course, with all eating disorders, your life.
I recently was told that I am showing signs of diabetes in my eyes, meaning that if I don't stop soon I will lose my vision.
I've been better with taking the insulin while reverting to pre-diabetes eating disorder habits now that technology has gotten better to keep my blood sugar normal. Only occasionally relapsing into the Diabulimic stuff.
I'm not sure exactly what the point of this post was. Maybe to raise awareness? So many endocrinologists simply aren't aware of this epidemic. I am very fortunate for my current doctors who haven't treated me like a 'bad' diabetic. They see this for what it is, an eating disorder. Thanks for letting me talk:/ I love yall🖤
Tl;dr- Diabulimia is keeping blood sugar high to lose weight and it's been killing me for a long time. I'm so tired of being sick. Two chronic diseases? Fuck me.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/MediumGrouchy5547 posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Long/Medium
Original - 26th April 2024
Update - 7th May 2024
Editor's note - from a comment in his posts, the OOP is from Argentina
​
I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
​
I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate.
When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life.
My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because thb it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you.
She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on.
Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be se arched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything.
In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly.
The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together.
I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive.
Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place. While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all.
I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened.
She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people.
We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents.
I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good.
But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her.
But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us.
Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice.
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Comments
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mattromo
You were 10 when she left. It could be that the story you've been told your whole life is missing a few key details. I think you should let your sister tell her story, if she is so inclined, and withhold judgement or anger until that point.
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mikuzgrl
It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.
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mattromo
That is very possible too. Could be the brother, who seemed to know the sister was leaving.

OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/

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No-Mechanic-3048
I would reach out to your brother first. Process this together.
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TotalIndependence881
You were too young to know if your parents miss her, or miss the idea of her. A family I know had their adult daughter die suddenly a year ago. Daughter was no contact with the parents for a couple years because the parents were narcissistic and weren’t good at being her parents. The parents still hoped she’d be the daughter they wanted her to be instead of the daughter she actually was. The parents miss her, but not miss the person her friends would say she was. They miss the person they wished she was.

OOP:My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly.
I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems.
How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.

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Comment from OOP on his account
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Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos
I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her.
What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that.
I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight.
I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
​
Update - 11 days later
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On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of her friends are like rastafari (My sister does NOT consider herself Rastafarian, or hippie, or punk, etc. She shares part of their ideology) not hippies or a sect. Altough some of them are punks too. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot.
My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music.
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind (In my country, weighing more than 53kg is considered fat for a woman and it used to be worse) She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual philosophy, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone around (and I understand her, Living in a place where not even the economy is stable is hard) .
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone (she wouldn't know how to contact us anyway) and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other. She also says that a large part of her feels ashamed of the pain she knows she inflicted on our parents and didn't knew how to talk to everyone when she came back, but I assured her that our parents would just be happy to see her and not angry.
She's really excited and wants to talk to them now, but we're thinking about whether to send them a text or make a video call with my cell phone. She wants to go home with me to see our everyone but first we want them to know that she is going with me so they don't feel so shocked, they are senior citizens and our dad is recovering from dengue.
She doesn't even have a TV, After everything he experienced at Fotolog, she prefers to stay away from anything like that, I don't have one neither tbh. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate like everyone.
And she's not Autistic (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP and her psychologist and other she also had has already told her that she doesn't have any other condition than that), suffers from ED and see a psychologist twice a month so yes, she has psychological help from a professional.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was really popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs.
Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing. Obviously my sister has to work, but she does what she likes in a different rhythm than the people we live in the city, although that leaves her just enough to live. She likes her lifestyle, although she is also a little tired of the cold and would like to move to the north of the country in a few years. She's still just as outgoing as she used to be with everyone and says she wants to see all the family.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha
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Comments
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No_Dragonfruit_9656
Can she write your parents a letter instead of phone convo? Then she can also get out all her thoughts at once and say everything she wishes.

OOP: She could write a letter, although I don't know how long it would take for the mail to arrive. I'm planning to take my sister with me to see the family, but I'll be back home soon and we'd rather let our parents know she's going with me. Maybe an email could work too.

Humble_Nobody2884
Aw man, this is such a bittersweet story. She loves you and the family, and only stayed away out of guilt and pain. What a blessing it’s been for you two to find each other, and to be able to get some resolution to these open wounds. I do hope you keep us updated as you both progress forward-best of luck and much love to you both.
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CulturedGentleman921
Can you arrange for your parents to visit her?
Do you think she would want that?
Because as a parent myself, I would REALLY want that! I would sell a fucking kidney to pay for the trip.

OOP: My parents don't have money to make the trip 😅 I plan to take my sister with me and take her to my parents' house, but first we rather send them a text or letter to not surprise them too much

mikuzgrl
Please make sure your sister has a safe place to escape to when you take her to see your parents. Her arrival will cause a big hubbub and everyone will want to interact with her all at once. She may get overwhelmed easily.
It also might be wise to set ground rules for how/when your family interacts with her. Decide on a safe word or hand signal she can give you when she needs to take a break.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hi guys. I need some guidance.
I used $3600 from my Travel Bank to temporarily purchase two LAX to MIA tickets last May 7th but canceled it after 30 hours so I can convert them to an FFC and combine them with several FFCs that me and my family members own. After cancelation, I didnt see the credits back to my account so I called CS. The rep who I spoke with was nice and gave me options to change it to an ETC, while at the same time convert a few unused FFCs in my account to ETCs. This is so I can combine all of them into one pool. I want to use the credits to book two one-way tickets for my wife and child. The flight is MNL to LAX via NRT and cost $2500 each. Upon combining all credits, the total amount came down to $4900 so I only have to pay $100 to cover the flight. The first leg is a codeshare through ANA and the second leg is from NRT to LAX via UA so ANA owns it. The rep granted the request so I got everything in ETCs and was able to book the tickets.
Today May 11th, I logged in to my account and saw that my TB total amount was $3600. I checked the details and saw two credits of $1800 each back in my Travel Bank on May 10th. This is the same amount I used from my TB last May 7th. The other $1100 credits, which were FFCs under myself, my son and wife werent back on our accounts. I looked up the reservations at ANA's website and both tickets were still active. What do I do now? I am concerned that the tickets will be canceled without notice since its obvious I got refunded on my Travel Bank and the tickets are still active. The price has already gone up to $2900 as it is scheduled for July 8th. If this gets canceled, I may have to pay $800 more if I have to rebook. If I call United, what should I tell the rep to get it sorted out so we don't have to rebook? Thank you.

1) Mama Mia Tom Yum -Soi Silom 20
2) Green Curry Recipe -Silom Thai Cooking School
3) Shrimp Pad Thai - Pad Thai Fai Ta Lu (Charcoal Glass Noodles are sooo good)
4)Somsak Claypot Crab -Lat Ya Road
5) Original Pad Kra Pao 1993 - Soi Charoen Rat 4
6) Braised Pork Belly - Lukas Thong Emquartier (best pork dish in Thailand)
7) Any roast pig you see that looks this good
8) Shoutout Rocket Bar for their great cheeseburgers, best in the city

Hi guys!
I know so many of us are scared of gaining loads in recovery and never recovering metabolic rate after years of ana/mia, but I’d like to tell you that’s not true! I’ve been recovering for 2-3 years by slowing returning to intuitive eating and letting myself drink alcohol along that without restricting calories to make up for it, additionally I do sports about 3-4 times a week as a way to keep healthy and keep muscle tone.
I am not joking when I say I saw a massive shift in my metabolism. I have so much more energy and I am never cold anymore lol. Used to be cold all the time before recovery.
Also, I legitimately have not gained a lot of weight. My body stabilised at a relatively low (but still healthy) weight and that’s with me eating twice or three times what I used to consume before. Trust yourselves, your body will adapt if you learn to listen to your hunger queues and trust your instincts :)

On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of her friends are like rastafari (My sister does NOT consider herself Rastafarian, or hippie, or punk, etc. She shares part of their ideology) not hippies or a sect. Altough some of them are punks too. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot. My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music.
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind (In my country, weighing more than 53kg is considered fat for a woman and it used to be worse) She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual philosophy, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone around (and I understand her, Living in a place where not even the economy is stable is hard) .
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone (she wouldn't know how to contact us anyway) and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other. She also says that a large part of her feels ashamed of the pain she knows she inflicted on our parents and didn't knew how to talk to everyone when she came back, but I assured her that our parents would just be happy to see her and not angry.
She's really excited and wants to talk to them now, but we're thinking about whether to send them a text or make a video call with my cell phone. She wants to go home with me to see our everyone but first we want them to know that she is going with me so they don't feel so shocked, they are senior citizens and our dad is recovering from dengue.
She doesn't even have a TV, After everything he experienced at Fotolog, she prefers to stay away from anything like that, I don't have one neither tbh. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate like everyone.
And she's not Autistic (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP and her psychologist and other she also had has already told her that she doesn't have any other condition than that), suffers from ED and see a psychologist twice a month so yes, she has psychological help from a professional.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was really popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing. Obviously my sister has to work, but she does what she likes in a different rhythm than the people we live in the city, although that leaves her just enough to live. She likes her lifestyle, although she is also a little tired of the cold and would like to move to the north of the country in a few years. She's still just as outgoing as she used to be with everyone and says she wants to see all the family.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha

Hi people of reddit! To start the post I think you all need some background. Me (15F) have been struggling with EDs for around 4 years or so. It all started with Ana and when cured, evolved to mia and binge eating (sorry for using those names, since idk if I'd get censored). I went from being very skinny to being overweight. I'm also diagnosed with anxiety disorders so sometimes I try to kill the anxiety with eating. This has brought me to a kind of depression. I don't longer want to go out, bath, exercise, study, live. I hate looking to me and to what I've become. But finally I think this is going to stop.
Yesterday for mother's Day I went to my grandma's house and, for various reasons, I ended up eating everything I could. Woke up at 4am throwing up in my parents bathroom with fever and shivers. The sole though of food makes me nauseous. Even though I knew this lifestyle was hurting me, I've never felt something like this. I think my body is giving up, crying for a stop. I've never been so grateful for a virus. I'm determined to change my life. I'll try to update you during my recovery process. Thanks if you read all the way to here! I'm really grateful.

Hi people of reddit! To start the post I think you all need some background. Me (15F) have been struggling with EDs for around 4 years or so. It all started with Ana and when cured, evolved to mia and binge eating (sorry for using those names, since idk if I'd get censored). I went from being very skinny to being overweight. I'm also diagnosed with anxiety disorders so sometimes I try to kill the anxiety with eating. This has brought me to a kind of depression. I don't longer want to go out, bath, exercise, study, live. I hate looking to me and to what I've become. But finally I think this is going to stop.
Yesterday for mother's Day I went to my grandma's house and, for various reasons, I ended up eating everything I could. Woke up at 4am throwing up in my parents bathroom with fever and shivers. The sole though of food makes me nauseous. Even though I knew this lifestyle was hurting me, I've never felt something like this. I think my body is giving up, crying for a stop. I've never been so grateful for a virus. I'm determined to change my life. I'll try to update you during my recovery process. Thanks if you read all the way to here! I'm really grateful.

If anyone has this, I will be forever thankful!!!!!

Ayonna is a busy little beaver cleaning house before her same-day visit with Jamahl and her court sentencing of 15 or 90 days. Her friend, Lexi, with the mini springy Slinky-like curls is helping her round up her daughter, Ahmira, and her son, Darien, who maybe not so surprisingly doesn’t live with his mother full-time, but visits on weekdays. Otherwise, Darien stays at his grandmother’s, Keisha’s, house. Starting early to avoid responsibility, Ayonna had her son when she was 17 years old and wasn’t ready to be a mom so that arrangement became a comfortable habit. But for all her fake mommy-hood vibes, she only has eyes and time for boopie who gets an ass load of thonged buttock décolletage because Romeo’s Juliet is as happy to gratify her man as to piss off the guards. Girlfriend don’t care who sees her jump up and down to chizzel so that thing sits right. Clack clack on the track – all a-bord while her tongue is hanging out waiting for a traffic signal to retract back into its mouth. She wants to be a slut for Jamahl (like Camilla wanted to be a tampon for Prince Charles.) No worries, honey, you already are his 4-ever ho giddy with the prospect of your felon drilling you with his motorized gearbox snugly aiming for your precisely-sized diameter. He’ll miss her over her “dumb ass bid” – a sentiment she shares with Keisha when she flings herself onto Mom’s couch after the kids are safely tucked away. Jamahl is human so he’ll speak to other people just not any other females – like Clinton’s famous 1998 quote about Monica Lewinsky, “I did not have sex with that woman,” because he knows she’s jealous. Both misbegotten lovers are in the same boat and need to keep a watch on each other’s sanity - the same two people who jumped into their respective boats with little foresight and a lot of alacrity. Keisha, softer, younger, and prettier looking than her stumpy daughter – she of the bad choices, stoically listens as Ayonna continues to blame her situation on the police who confoundingly penalized for the “dumbest charge they made in America” setting in motion a chain reaction of events over which she has no control. Doesn’t Mommy get it? Apparently not because when Mommy says she’s been further discommoded and won’t be around forever to assist, Ayonna nearly jumps off the couch on which she had so lazily been resting to screech that she better be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mothers are for, ironically disregarding the fact that she isn’t picking up the pieces for her children; she’s smashing them to bits as she waits for her man to come home to pick up the rest of her pieces. I mean if someone doesn’t hand her a broom and a dustpan, what is a selfish girl supposed to do?
True, standing so proudly in the jail’s culinary art kitchen with his sunglasses perched on his head ready to avoid the glare of fluorescent and LED lighting, his popping chest straining against the white-on-white undershirt and shirt, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet unable to contain the fineness of himself, is playing with recipes to possibly outcook Shonta. He’s just now encountering squid and mixing it with crab and mozz-a-rella to make a seafood omelet – a dish many on the outside can’t afford to eat – assuming they would want to. The restaurant is Shonta’s long-held idea for which she saved 25K, but it was stolen and now True is to be the invisible (in more ways than one) restaurant manager – as sound an idea as LaTisha and Keith’s loan business - so she visits Fannie’s African restaurant for advice while True is on the phone. Fannie had to wait two years to see a profit – typical for that industry, but True wants to see it in two months. Fannie wisely suggests that Shonta ensures that one-half the restaurant is officially hers as partners, in love and life, can change as easily as a seasonal menu. Later, Fred, her sticky-fingered, pimp-vibing stepbrother with as checkered a past as True, even having been fellow inmates in the same jail for 6 months, comes limping in to try and salvage some trust in their relationship. He’s the 5K safe stealing equivalent of the cookie thief who denies, denies, denies stealing cookies even as the crumbs fall from his lying lips. Why would this addict rob his relative of a golden opportunity just because the situation unfolded itself in his lap with the exuberance of a dandelion’s fluffy seedhead? Furthermore, he adds that she doesn’t know what she’s getting into when she gets with True, awakening Shonta’s Spidey senses, and they need to be quivering as she is as surrounded by victimizing men as Conestoga wagons in the untamed West.
Outdoors man Rick is shopping with his nieces, Dyana and Veronica, a corrections officer, to spice up his wardrobe. He’s supposed to be a ladies’ man. Kind of Kevin Bacon-ish. Divorced, he decides to try and find his high school crush, Samantha, recently released and now working at a re-entry center. She’s still blond and attractive, three granddaughters and resisting/obstructing officers and two felony DUI offenses later. They’ve been “dating" for over 3 months. Can we digress for a minute here? Old-fashioned dating wasn’t a blanket term used as a fig leaf for surfing through dating apps, speed-dating strangers in a neutral space, having quickies in the front seat of a car in a Compton-like neighborhood like Hugh Grant, or timed jail calls. Well, that’s ok, Rick has also had an alcohol and party problem himself, like Sammi, until 2 ½ years ago. In fact, he was a functional drunk until he started blacking out, which was when he started getting help. They have that in common. He awkwardly confesses that he’s been sending her money, never mind how much, 25K, and intends to marry her. The nieces are shocked, and Ronnie explains cons’ cons while Rick is scrunched in embarrassment looking wretched as his younger relatives admonish him for his naïveté.
That family video chat didn’t go that well. Conflict-avoidant Joey was outed by his sister’s minor bombshell of his prior relapse. As he relates this to a cavalier Michael on their phone chat, a fight is going down in the jail background as pepper spray cuts off their communication temporarily, perfectly illustrating Joey’s concerns about their communication skills. It’s not so much that as the ubiquitous secret one partner always has. This time it’s the release date. Pre-board in three months and parole board in 6 months before finding the recommended release date, and if parole is denied, Michael can wait from 6 months up to a year before being reconsidered. In fact, he could be in for another 6 years and that’s the straight answer he doesn’t want to give Joey, as well as the number of his past lovers, in and out of stir, and who knows what else. Of course, the silver lining to an extended sentence could be either time for honing those skills, which will require every one of those minutes, or the chance to reconsider throwing in with a fellow addict whose spent more time behind bars than in front of them.
It's a Joan Rivers, “Can we talk”? moment or coming to a gunfight unarmed as Kate begins to unwind, like an ectothermic snake after the equinox, feeling the warm sun spilling from the rock it’s hiding under. That’s because Tennie tells Kate some hard truths like her initiating a petition to address excessive sentencing that Kate wouldn’t assist with or even sign. Tennie explains but doesn’t apologize for her past. Cheyenne’s dad died when she was 1-years old and Mi’yah’s dad is MIA. When Kate discovers that Tennie isn’t a spoiled selfish boogie hogging the spoils to which Kate feels she’s being rightfully denied, she reluctantly admits, “I might like her,” but it wouldn’t do to like her right away, of course. They both walk away unsettled; Tennie concerned that Rob hasn’t called to find out how the visit went so Tennie decides to weaponize those insidious cameras to have a night to herself. Rob is incredulous and turns the convo into telling her his case manager suggested turning down parole and staying in longer which Rob unilaterally decided to do. He doesn’t tell her he’s got a portrait-sized tattoo of a past girlfriend on his arm he somehow needs to erase and that’s more important than disrupting other peoples’ plans. Well, it’s what happens when you decide to become a permanent living art installation with few chances of rotation. And speaking of art, the slightly tilted looking piece over Tennie’s bed looks like either a crude attempt at Pointillism or mold spreading like cracked black pepper flung on a crumpled Saltine.

hi, im f 16 and i have ana and mia. my mom found out last year and ive been in eating disorder therapy for awhile, and as far as everyone knows i dont purge or fast anymore. but im lying because truthfully i dont want to recover. and i know if i tell my mom ive been lying, i would be in trouble. so should i tell her or my therapist? or figure it out on my own? i need advice

i always hear people w ana talking about having an ana honeymoon phase, where restricting is super easy and it feels exciting / whetevs. yk what i mean, haha😭😭 but like i hardly hear anybody talk about having something similar with mia??
personally, when i first "unlocked" the ability to b/p, it felt like the best thing since sliced bread. after years of restriction, i felt relieved that there was a way i could "finally eat without guilt". i let myself get worse and worse, my binges got bigger and my episodes got more frequent. i told myself that id stop when i wanted to, it's just that i didn't want to. i felt excited each time and i felt like i was on top of the world.
flashforward to now, i feel trapped in my illness. im sick all the time and i can't stop even though i want nothing more. sometimes i still get excited to b/p, but usually it's just mechanical; b/p is just part of my life now, and i hate it.
has anybody else experienced something similar??

So I've been diagnosed with mod-sev mia and have had it for over 10 years now along with ana b/p and I finally reached out to my best friend of 7 years to open up about it and they were really dismissive about it? Not only that but I brought it up in March and they haven't mentioned it or said anything about it since. I was hoping for support from them or maybe that they'd take me seriously? I'm not underweight so maybe they think it's not a big problem or a big deal because of my size? Either that or they just don't care :(
Tldr; reached out to best friend about my ed's and they were dismissive and haven't mentioned it since I brought it up in March after having an ed for over 10 years and being best friends with them for 7 years.