Matagal na kasi akong (M,22) nag hahanap ng mag ng kausap to potential girlfriend eh 3 years na akong single medyo busy ako kaya pumunta ako dito sa reddit
After hundred tries (ghosted/blocked) especially sa dm sent meron akong nakilala na girl dito from reddit tapos nag click kami "gusto" namin yung isat isa then sinabi ko sa kanya kung nanaginip man ako "please gising na sana ako kasi di talaga ako sanay na trato ng tama at may babaeng nakikinig sakin" sabi niya naman hindi daw to panaginip totoong totoo na to tsaka masanay na ako ako naiiyak niyang sabihin niyon masaya pala akong grgraduate kasi nahanap ko na siya kasi graduating ako e then ayun nag set kami ng date sa SM ginawa namin lahat actually ang tagal namin doon mga 5 hours nag huhug and holding hands (my first time) plus siya yung unang babae na halikan ko sa pisnge ito din yung first date ko
So ayun smooth sailing attached sa isat isa di ba after one month balak sana naming mag date nag hahanap lang kami ng tamang time pero may nangyari may sinabi siya sakin na may time daw sa landiian stage namin na may kausap daw siya na iba tapos nakipag ano daw siya alam no na yon kasi di niya daw na tiis sabi ko okay lang naman yon tsaka last month pa naman and di ko naman siya gf kaya gawin niya mga trip niya (medyo masakit pero pinag bigyan ko na siya) ang sabi ko naman buti naging honest ka about diyan kala ko sasabihin mo ayaw mo na sakin tapos tinanong niya sakin kung ayun daw sinabi ko ano daw mang yayari sakin sabi ko "malulungkot ako syempre" tapos sabi niya may sasabihin daw siya pero pag uwi ko na daw after na daw ng midterms ko wag na daw akong kabahan sabi ko sabihin na niya and ayun na nga sabi niya hindi niya daw ako gusto na attached lang daw siya sa presence ko di daw niya ako mahal dapat nung bago mag one month yung pag uusap niya sakin sasabihin sakin pero di ko alam kung bakit niya pa pinatagal gusto niya lang daw yung concept ng relationship pero ayaw niya daw muna mag boyfriend pero sinabi na niya naman na mali niya yon kasi deserve ko daw ng "geniune love"
Ayun nashock at na lungkot talaga ako sa sinabi niya di ako makaisip habang nag sasagot ng midterms ko di ko alam kung iiyak ba ako tapos non tinuloy namin yung date namin dapat pinagusap namin yung mangyayari samin sabi ko sige friends na lang tayo aayain ko siya lumabaa minsan or ichchat ko siya as a friend sabi niya kung hindi ba masakit yon sabi ko "e ganun talaga buhay e hindi mo makukuha yung mga gusto mo" tapos ayun niyakap ko siya tapos sabi niya di na muna siya makikipag bf
Then nag chchat padin after 3weeks sabi niya lalabas daw siya with friend tinanong ko kung ilan sila dalawa lang daw sila then tinanong ko kung if babae or lalaki tapos lalaki daw sabi niya "why?" Sabi ko naman wala "kasi selos ako ih emz" sabi niya "selos well" sabi ko ulit "kasalanan mo to e" then sabi niya "sorry" then sinabi niya di naman daw siya mag bbf kaya ayun then fast foward kahapon tinanong ko siya kung ano gagawin niya bukas sabi niya lalabas daw sila ng family niya ako naman di muna papasok sa OJT papasok muna sa school then tinanong ko kung ngayon ba sila lumabas ng family niya tapos binago niya "with ate lang pala kakain kami" then fastforward ngayon pumasok ako sa school then tinanong ko kung naalis na sila then oo daw nakaalia na daw siya tapos nung nakauwi na ako tinanong kung na uwi na sila sabi niya oo daw then kumain and natulog ako tong hapon then mag chchat sana ako ulit sa kanya nakita ko may bagong story siya sa facebook then nakita ko may ka holding hands siya like tangina narinig ko yung puso nag kaka crcrack tapos kaka gising ko lang di ko talaga alam gagawin ko kaya na iisipan ko mag post dito alam ko pumayag ako na maging friends na kami di ko pala kaya kasi putangina e may picture din kami ng nakaholding hands sa SM pero di niya na story lowkey daw muna kasi baka ma jinx isosoft lunch na niya lang ako which never happened mag cocouple dp pa sana pero di din nangyari
sorry sa typings tsaka mga punctuation marks ko pero di na ako mag tatanga tangahan di na ako mag sesettle for less ayoko lang ng friendship lang deserve ko din na mahal ng totoo ng mahal ko gusto ko talaga maging kami kaso wala e willing ako na kalimutan yung mga lies niya sakin kasi ganun ko siya ka mahal kasi for the first time in three years na ramamdaman ko na may nag mamahal sakin pero di pala panaginip nga lang talaga ang lahat at buti na gising ako kaagad I love you pero this is enough ayoko na masyadong grabe na to i need to have self-respect kaya di na kita kakausapin at papansinin
salamat padin kasi at least pinaramdaman mo sakin na mag mag kakagusto pala sakin kaya na boost din yung confidence ko ikaw ang naging mundo ko for 2 months i was unbeatable because of you pero sinira mo lang yung peace and confidence nung sinabi mo sakin na di mo pala ako gusto kaya ayon ayoko na di ko deserve masaktan kasi wala naman ako ginawang mali di naman ako nanapak ng ibang tao naging mabait naman ako sa kapwa ko kaya minsan na ququestion ko na si Lord pero tigin ko may ibigsabihin to may tao talaga na nakalaan sakin mag hintay lang ako
Kaya sana next time na may makilala ako hindi na sana sa panaginip sana yung totoo na talaga.

The rejection - Unfortunately we won't be moving foward with your application.............but follow us on Linkdin, Facebook, X, etc. and "join our talent community."
And they want me to allow them to send me garbage about their latest accomplishments, developments, and webinars !
I was a 100% match. But rejected. WHY would I join your "talent community" ?
Meanwhile, they're still accepting applications for that position.

this shit is really long, so know this first two paragraphs are just like a background :)
My whole experience with Christianity has always been weird. When i was a kid, i was very religious to a point of almost being obsessed, making my parents waste money on religious imagery like kids would but with toys. My mom was worried, she wasn't really that religious but she still believed in god. My father was more critical on religion, to a point where he said he would have preferred to be a Buddhist. i think my obsession with religion stopped when i realized i didn't understand whatever i was worshipping and that i just cared about how pretty religious imagery is (to this day i still find it pretty) and so I just assumed being Cristhian was the norm and kept being Cristhian without that weird obsession.
then i started to care. i started to think out of the box and form my first own thoughts, outside what my family imposed. we started having economical problems, fights and arguments but everything really went downhill when my father died. i adored him. he wasn't perfect, but he loved me. and i loved him too. considering i was 11 at the time i just was in shock. i had never experienced the death of a loved one, nor the death of anybody i knew. not only that, shortly after my father's death my grandparents died, my uncle died, and like a year after my dad's auntie died. my family's support was never to be seen, with the closest thing being my aunt telling me "my mother died after my birthday too" (my dad died the day we were going to celebrate my birthday) i only thought of ending all. i was alone, in the middle of a pandemic with my hearth broken mom . school provided a psychologist, but bcs it was virtual i didn't attend any of the videocalls.
fast foward some years, i realized im agnostic, and not only that, bisexual. but i also realized my mom had become obsessed with religion, the exact opposite to me. suddenly she urged me to pray and attend to all kinds of religious ceremony. i once told her i didn't care about her god but she seems to have forgotten. The problem comes here: school. i study at a private school, and because my father died and my mom doesn't have a work I have a student scholarship. it doesn't cover the full cost tho, so my family helps with a bit and my mom puts the rest.
and there is me. mom never put me in a public school because i was depressed and absolute shit at making friends. now almost 2 years away from finishing school i finally felt like i wouldn't mind going to a public school to help mom, but now she is the one who doesn't want that. school is killing me, because either my grades are perfect or they won't help with the scholarship. and if i dare to ever tell my mom im agnostic AND bisexual, I don't know what will happen but it probably won't be good. i know she loves me, but her recent obsession with religion worries me. and my family would absolutely stop helping her if they knew. i have always lived with this weird mask where i show everyone what they want to see. id love to be myself, to finally be free from the religious bullshit and the "morals" of my family, but i cant.
on the other hand I accidentally realized that my uncle is gay. unlike most of my family he is very kind, but i really wasn't expecting him to be gay. nobody on my family knows (from what i know). i accidentally realized when he asked me to fix his Facebook and i saw some "funny" conversations with some men he'd like to "meet". i didn't open them, but i did see his Facebook friends and saw some gay pages. same thing on his insta. i feel bad about invading his privacy, but with how conservative my family is it's almost a relief knowing my uncle might understand me.
i really don't know what to expect on the future. i would like some advice, though this post is more of me venting to some people who might get what i went through. I am really scared from the future, from my family but above all about my relationship with my mom. I don't even know what or where im gonna study after school, because i wasn't expecting to live that far. the only thing i ever really planned for my future is having a puppy. and i hope i will get one someday, when im finally free from my family's tainted moral compass.
thanks you if you read all that shit. have a nice day.

In October 2023 ago I (27M) met a girl (27F) at a party. Let's call her "A". I texted her to tell her i liked her and she shared the same feeling. We started texting everyday all day because she immediately became clingy and needy. We made an instant connection and shared some insight about ourselves.
She claimed to be hesitant of being in a relationship because she had been heartbroken often in the past, but she really liked me and felt we had something special going on. I thought we were similar because i was left by my ex a few months earlier, time I used to heal. But i was ready now to date taking things slowly and "A" seemed a good match.
We planned to meet , however she flaked more than once, first time saying she was busy, (altough she had time to meet with her friends). It took 3 weeks to see each other again for a date (we shared a kiss and mostly talked). After the date she texted me saying that she would rather be friends, the reason not being ready to be in a relationship. I told her I wasn't interested because i wanted more. We saw each other a week later at another party ( her sister (let's call her C) is the gf of a friend of mine (let's call him M) ) and later that night texted me saying she was sorry and asked me to give her another chance. I did, but same scenario repeated for the same reason. So i decided to move on.
Fast foward to the end of March, we see each other again at my friend "M" house, just me, him, his gf "C" and her sister "A". "A" made a move on me and while this time I was the hesitant one I thought she was ready, so we made out, next day hanged out the 4 of us and we had sex and slept together at "M" house.
We mutually agreed to try and see how things could go, but once again, a few days she texted me telling me she wasn't feeling it citing last trauma. We agreed to be friends and hang out with her sister "C" and my friend "M".
While this back and forth made me feel a little bad, i thought "A" 's doubts and fears were legitimate. Being heartbroken and cheated in the past would make someone hesitant even after years.
But then a few days ago while hanging out with her, "C" and my friend "M" I learned that the trauma she cited being the cause of her change of mind the last time wasn't from past relationships before we met, but from someone she's been in a relationship with between Febraury and March. A guy who texted her on Facebook that later turned out of cheating on her.
This revelation left me perplexed because she had expressed hesitance about pursuing a relationship with me due to her past experiences. It's difficult for me to understand why she would jump into something with someone she barely knew while being hesitant with me, especially since I had made it clear that I was serious about her.
I tried to understand her perspective by engaging in an honest conversation with her. However, her explanations left me feeling even more bewildered. She mentioned that her connection with the other person was a "lightning strike" and that she couldn't explain it. This seemed contradictory to her previous reasons for hesitating with me. I told her that i would have prefered her telling me that she wasn't interested in dating me, instead of saying she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Rejection I can handle, what I can't handle is being blindsided. And that what I think she did with me. Do you agree?
Is this the an example of "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" = "I'm not ready to be in a relationship with YOU"?
Now, this revelation hurt me and at the same time made me finally snap and realize that "A" is not the type of girl i want to date so I lost interested which is good. I also genuinely like hanging with "M" , "C" and "A" together, so I was thinking of staying friends with them "A" included . However, I wonder if "A" can be at least a sincere friend considering how she acted with me before or if I should just hang out with my friend "M" without his gf "C" and "A".
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? Should I keep hanging with all of them or move on completely and only see my friend "M" separately?

In October 2023 ago I (27M) met a girl (27F) at a party. Let's call her "A". I texted her to tell her i liked her and she shared the same feeling. We started texting everyday all day because she immediately became clingy and needy. We made an instant connection and shared some insight about ourselves.
She claimed to be hesitant of being in a relationship because she had been heartbroken often in the past, but she really liked me and felt we had something special going on. I thought we were similar because i was left by my ex a few months earlier, time I used to heal. But i was ready now to date taking things slowly and "A" seemed a good match.
We planned to meet , however she flaked more than once, first time saying she was busy, (altough she had time to meet with her friends). It took 3 weeks to see each other again for a date (we shared a kiss and mostly talked). After the date she texted me saying that she would rather be friends, the reason not being ready to be in a relationship. I told her I wasn't interested because i wanted more. We saw each other a week later at another party ( her sister (let's call her C) is the gf of a friend of mine (let's call him M) ) and later that night texted me saying she was sorry and asked me to give her another chance. I did, but same scenario repeated for the same reason. So i decided to move on.
Fast foward to the end of March, we see each other again at my friend "M" house, just me, him, his gf "C" and her sister "A". "A" made a move on me and while this time I was the hesitant one I thought she was ready, so we made out, next day hanged out the 4 of us and we had sex and slept together at "M" house.
We mutually agreed to try and see how things could go, but once again, a few days she texted me telling me she wasn't feeling it citing last trauma. We agreed to be friends and hang out with her sister "C" and my friend "M".
While this back and forth made me feel a little bad, i thought "A" 's doubts and fears were legitimate. Being heartbroken and cheated in the past would make someone hesitant even after years.
But then a few days ago while hanging out with her, "C" and my friend "M" I learned that the trauma she cited being the cause of her change of mind the last time wasn't from past relationships before we met, but from someone she's been in a relationship with between Febraury and March. A guy who texted her on Facebook that later turned out of cheating on her.
This revelation left me perplexed because she had expressed hesitance about pursuing a relationship with me due to her past experiences. It's difficult for me to understand why she would jump into something with someone she barely knew while being hesitant with me, especially since I had made it clear that I was serious about her.
I tried to understand her perspective by engaging in an honest conversation with her. However, her explanations left me feeling even more bewildered. She mentioned that her connection with the other person was a "lightning strike" and that she couldn't explain it. This seemed contradictory to her previous reasons for hesitating with me. I told her that i would have prefered her telling me that she wasn't interested in dating me, instead of saying she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Rejection I can handle, what I can't handle is being blindsided. And that what I think she did with me. Do you agree?
Is this the an example of "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" = "I'm not ready to be in a relationship with YOU"?
Now, this revelation hurt me and at the same time made me finally snap and realize that "A" is not the type of girl i want to date so I lost interested which is good. I also genuinely like hanging with "M" , "C" and "A" together, so I was thinking of staying friends with them "A" included . However, I wonder if "A" can be at least a sincere friend considering how she acted with me before or if I should just hang out with my friend "M" without his gf "C" and "A".
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? Should I keep hanging with all of them or move on completely and only see my friend "M" separately?

In October 2023 ago I (27M) met a girl (27F) at a party. Let's call her A. I texted her to tell her i liked her and she shared the same feeling. We started texting everyday all day because she immediately became clingy and needy. We made an instant connection and shared some insight about ourselves.
She claimed to be hesitant of being in a relationship because she had been heartbroken often in the past, but she really liked me and felt we had something special going on. I thought we were similar because i was left by my ex a few months earlier, time I used to heal. But i was ready now to date taking things slowly and A seemed a good match.
We planned to meet , however she flaked more than once, first time saying she was busy, (altough she had time to meet with her friends). It took 3 weeks to see each other again for a date (we shared a kiss and mostly talked). After the date she texted me saying that she would rather be friends, the reason not being ready to be in a relationship. I told her I wasn't interested because i wanted more. We saw each other a week later at another party ( her sister is the gf with a friend of mine) and later that night texted me saying she was sorry and asked me to give her another chance. I did, but same scenario repeated for the same reason. So i decided to move on.
Fast foward to the end of March, we see each other again at my friend's house, just me, him, her gf and her sister A. She made a move on me and while this time I was the hesitant one I thought she was ready, so we made out, next day we had sex and slept together at my friend's house.
We mutually agreed to try and see how things could go, but once again, she texted me telling me she wasn't feeling it citing last trauma. We agreed to be friends only and hanging out with her sister and my friend.
While this back and forth made me feel a little bad, i thought A's doubts and fears were legitimate. Being heartbroken and cheated in the past would make someone hesitant. But then a few days ago while hanging out with her, her sister and my friend I learned that the trauma she cited being the cause of her change of mind the last time wasn't from past relationships before we met, but from someone she's been with between Febraury and March. A guy who texted her on Facebook that later turned out of cheating on her.
This revelation left me perplexed because she had expressed hesitance about pursuing a relationship with me due to her past experiences. It's difficult for me to understand why she would jump into something with someone she barely knew while being hesitant with me, especially since I had made it clear that I was serious about her. I tried to understand her perspective by engaging in an honest conversation with her. However, her explanations left me feeling even more bewildered. She mentioned that her connection with the other person was a "lightning strike" and that she couldn't explain it. This seemed contradictory to her previous reasons for hesitating with me. I told her that i would have prefered her telling me that she wasn't interested in dating me, instead of saying she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Rejection I can handle, what I can't handle is being blindsided. And that what I think she did with me. Do you agree?
Is this the an example of "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" = "I'm not ready to be in a relationship with YOU".
Now, this revelation hurt me and at the same time made me finally snap and realize that A is not the type of girl i want to date so I lost interested. I also genuinely like hanging with my friend, his gf and A, so I was thinking of staying friends with them A included . However, I wonder if I should because of how A acted and just hang out with my friend without his gf and her sister (A).
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Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? Should I keep hanging with all of them or move on completely and only see my friend separately?
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To start the story, I am 19F, and my fiancé is 23M. I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and my parents/grandparents will not leave me alone unless i "go back home" with my 7 siblings.
My story starts on thanksgiving 2022, at 1:36am. I will admit I was using my dads old phone to message online friends I had at the time, one which was an Ex from 2018, another who I held dear because of how kind they were and how close in age they were to me at the time (17/18), and a Long Distance relationship partner. Every night I would use said phone to message said people on Discord or Messenger, because I liked having friends who I knew could not physically harm me.
My friends were kind, and always heard me out when I needed to vent about my parents or siblings. I have two sisters, and five brothers.
One sister in particular, lets call her Terry, would sucker me out of a lot of things. For example, we lived on a ranch, and when I would get paid in cash for cleaning hen/egg boxes for neighbors, she would threaten to tell my parents that I used my dads old phone to message people at night when everyone slept if I didnt give her some money for snacks a teacher sold. Terry would often sucker me out of a lot. I had a friend who worked at Stripes in HS, (Both me and Terry new said friend and had the same lunch) and he would bring me energy drinks along with hot chips. Terry would threaten to tell my parents, again, if i didnt share.
This went on for a while. Since HS started if I recall. Terry is 3 years younger than I am for context. She was one of the siblings i did not raise. Terry and I had a decent relationship until she got a phone for a birthday present, and I had been waiting on one for years. She had the newest Iphone, with no restrictions. Since then whenever my parents and I would argue, I would often bring up how Terry was the favorite but they always denyed. This was proved to me through multiple actions and more.
When Terry got caught looking at some pretty bad things on her phone, she lost privilages for about 3 months. And by pretty bad, i mean pretty bad. As in underage anime corn involving R wording and more. That is one example. Another is when she would be caught by me doing something she wasnt supposed to, I would tell my parents and they would call her in to ask if she did. She always said she did nothing of the sort, and my parents would berate me because I "just wanted her to get in trouble".
Fast forward to 2022, thanksgiving. I was using my dads phone to message my LDR partner, and my two friends. My sister and I shared a room, so she got up to use the restroom and passed by my bed where she saw me using the phone. I thought nothing of it because I wasnt in debt for using it.. Boy was I wrong. She came back into the room and started tossing my things off my bed to look for the phone when it was in my bra. She groped my chest and stared me down when she felt it, then said "Give it. Now." I froze and wondered WHY she wouldve wanted it, but gave in and gave it to her. She then left the room.
I felt like I couldnt breathe. Adrenaline was boiling in my body and soon enough I heard my mom walking to our room. She asked why I had this. Why it was hidden. What was I doing. Why did I do this, yada yada. Sidenote: My mom has always been supportive when my dad became abusive toward me when I was in trouble, but that support slowly died as I grew. My mom stayed quiet after I said I had the phone to talk to my friends, which she knew all of, because she let me use her phone for Facebook(where i talked to said friends during the day). She left our room and I heard my dad coming.
This is where everything fell apart. My dad brought in a large foam roller, the kind you use when your back hurts or something. This foam roller was ANYTHING but soft. He started hitting me with the roller, and told my mom to grab my arms because I was blocking all of this. She did. Which made me realize I had either F'ed up, or she was just that angry. She grabbed my arms and tried to yank me out of my bed so my dad could get my face. I hadnt realized my sister left the room, but i did when she came back with a pallete board my dad carved into a paddle.
Now, i wont get to into what happened in that room. But I will say it broke my ankle, and bruised my femur. My dad dragged me out of my room by my hair and tossed me in front of the front door. He woke up my siblings, and told them to come say goodbye to me. Not to mention he told my mom to record this entire ordeal. My siblings, half awake, dont know what is going on. But, my dad tells me to get what I BOUGHT, with MY money, and "get the F out of his house". So I try to go back to my room, my shirt torn from my mother manhandling me before, and she blocks me. She asks "What do you think your doing?" I tell her "Getting my stuff." She snaps at me and says I bought nothing in my room other than my art supplies. So I tell her im going to get my guitar. My dad yells at me and says "No. Thats staying here so when you die, your siblings will have something to remember you by".
So my mom gave me a hoodie I bought, tossed my shoes at me, and SHOVED me out the door. This door was maybe 3 feet up, with wood stairs so it was accessible. I did catch myself as I went down the stairs.
I walked along the dirt road for 3 miles before realizing my cat(who was an outside cat), had followed me all the way down to a main road. I picked her up and kept walking in pouring rain.
Fast foward to new years of 2022, i was living with a roomate. Lets call them Ajay. Ajay and I met in a behavioural hospital and became friends. They were in the middle of transitioning MTF, and I used He/They pronouns. We got along great. I lived in their apartment for maybe 2 months before they said that having a roomate was too exhausting. I didnt do anything wrong as I cleaned their cats' litterboxes, fed them, did my dishes, and my laundry, and stayed in my room as to make sure I didnt bother them. Ajay did give me 500$ to afford some food and clothing while I lived with my grandparents who werent to far.
I lived with my grandparents for 3 months before I got a job, and got paid 7.17 an hour. It was rough. I had to pay 150 each payday for "rent" at my grandparents, plus hygine products like tampons and soap and razors which was maybe minus 30. And then microwave food or instant noodles to last me two weeks until next payday. I was left with maybe 30/20 bucks for things I would possibly want to get in stores or ordered.
Fast forward again to when i met my boyfriend, now fiancé.
We met over a VR game, and talked all the time when I didnt work. My grandparents planned an easter party, inviting my parents and siblings. Somehow, they caught wind that I was leaving Texas and going three states away. They nagged and nagged and asked "Why?" Or "Where exactly?" Just trying to get as much out of me as they could when I clearly did not want them to know a damn thing.
My fiancé was on the phone with me at the time, muted so he could listen in because I wanted him to see how bad my parents were. They berated me for wanting to "leave my family behind", and going to live somewhere else. After a few hours, it was nightfall and my uncle was the last to leave.. But he did give me something to "take the edge off" if you know what i mean. He told me to smoke of the porch so I WOULDNT get in trouble.
I did exactly that, and my cousin who lived with my grandparents and I at the time, had somehow convinced my grandparents that I smoked inside on the couch, where i slept. So I passed out because I really needed the sleep. I woke to my grandpa telling me he wanted to talk.
He wanted me out in 24 hours. Either to my parents house, or with my boyfriend.
So I called my boyfriend. And he said he'd come get me. And he did. My parents and siblings had all that time to come in person and say goodbye but insisted on a phone call. So that was that.
The trip was 2 and a half days, but I got to my new home safe. I only ever messaged my parents for emergencies. Come to find out that 3 months of staying with my boyfriend, I was pregnant. I didnt tell my parents until the start of my third trimester. Thats when they started sending letters written by my siblings telling me to "come home". Im still with my fiancé, in his home, and living wonderfully. But my parents say that they WILL see their grandson, and they WILL make a trip to where I am now if I dont "come home". They have been wanting to reconnect, and "make amends", but they still deny they did anything wrong. They have yet to say sorry or recall anything from that night.
So, AITAH for not wanting my parents in my life?

So I’m a current 2nd year UCSD student who needs to find a place to rent off campus for next school year. On Facebook, someone offered me a place which fits my needs but says quote: “Due to the rental agency's privacy policy, i was informed by the booking manager that all personal information provided by our renters will be maintained and protected, including their names, mobile telephone numbers, email addresses, and so forth.so for that reason, in person tour tour while the apartment is still occupied is not possible, but we can ask the current occupant to do a video tour of the place. and well have it fowarded to you”. Now, I did receive the video but the place seemed super neat like it hasn’t been lived in. The agency is Compass Housing and the agent is Veronica Bruce. Am I being scammed here? Edit: The application doesn’t ask for a security deposit right now. Meanwhile a “Diane Williamson” claims that I can pay via Zelle a security deposit right now to secure a place before I visit which I can’t visit for a while due to “her being busy”. Now she isn’t saying I have to necessary pay the deposit before touring just that I might loose the place by the time I have a chance to visit. Does Diane seem sketchy?

Hey guys!
I wanted to share with you guys about my experience with https://joooooy.com/ website.
I recently purchased few minifigures and the customer service was amazing! i forgot to add few items, and they helped me to add those items and also their prices on minifigures are a lot cheaper than other resellers. I strongly recommend this website if you are a minifigure lover like myself. They also have an amazing facebook group that people share their experiences with. I have been buying from aliexpress before but moving foward, I am going to buy from joooooy website all the time!

I love playing video games. Because it opens a new life, a new adventure. It's exciting and challenging while having fun. It is more fun playing with friends. Dota, LoL, Counter Strike, every popular games I played and enjoyed it. Dun ko din nalaman paano mangtrashtalk at the same time nag broad ako connection with other people. Marami akong naging kaibigan, kakilala na nakalaro.
Fast foward being a working adult. I didn't able to buy my dream PC but I have PS4. (regalo sakin ng ate nung nag graduate ako sa college). And later on, I bought Nintendo switch oled just to try Nintendo exclusives. And then I bought Xbox Series X because it has more better deals when buying games and also to try it personally (Playstation fanboy).
But despite of it, I'm unhappy. All my friends have girlfriends now, ung iba nakapasyal sa iba't ibang lugar, nag aaral sa abroad, and busy sa trabaho. Habang ako work at bahay lng ako. Iniiwasan ko mag Facebook minsan para ndi mainggit peru napaisip isip ko. I should also grown out.
Gusto ko lumabas ng bahay, gumala peru d ko alm san ako mag iistart. I want try new things as an adult.

In 2022 I (19M) was supposed to have been friends with this coworker named Katharine (25F). She came to me one day telling me some rumors she'd heard of what some pedos were doing to me (without my consent) on the job we worked on. She and I DID NOT go to management but I did mention to her I was gonna quit. After all that drama happened and management ended up finding out anyways she also ended up qutting after she told me managers yelled at her for telling me what was going on (which personally I don't think she was wrong to tell me).
We went on a second job together and things were fine for a little while but then she started not speaking to me as much and telling coworkers we weren't really friends and that "I followed her to that job".
which all hurt me after hearing it because we had agreed to work together on another job and i thought we were buddies (I had her SM and her number and when we talked it wasn't nothing wrong) after I ended up leaving that job to move away and because a coworker shoved me I noticed she started blocking me (first on instagram then facebook but not my phone number).
I reached out in anger and hurt because she was blocking me and she threatened to go to the police if I didn't leave her alone so from that day foward I never talked to her again. If I made any new pages on Twitter (I never followed her on twitter) or facebook she would literally look them up and block them. I felt so hurt and so betrayed because I can't see why she's so angry with me and why she hates me so much. Especially since I liked her alot and thought we would've still been friends. :(

Hello everyone. I would like to get some advice and before you rush to the comments to scream: "pay cash" hear me out. I am a college student, who makes some decent money with a low amount of bills. Because of this as I continue to save for my first bike, the question of if I should finance it or not has come up. Due to me not having many bills, I would feel comfortable accepting a "bike payment" in my current situation. Which would grow my credit score. However moving foward I think the plan is to stalk Facebook marketplace for a good deal but if by the time I have enough for a 50% down-payment I will go the new route. Do you think that this is a wise decision based on my current situation?

My husband recieved a package from ulta while I was out of the country and threw the box away thinking it was mine. I have not ordered anything from ulta so I know these products aren't mine but have no way to send it back or find out who it was originally addressed to.
I asked my neighbors if they were missing a package but they all said no. I even posted it on the neighborhood Facebook group page and nobody came foward.
I may be over reacting but I don't know what more I can do. It's been over a month now so should I just trash it or keep it till someone shows up? Should I call ulta and have it returned in store?

Hello,
Posting here as a last ditch effort before I give up entirely.
I have a Facebook page with 170k followers. I am monetized with Stars, Performance Bonus, In-Stream Ads, and Subscriptions. I have never been invited to Ads on Reels and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why.
I became monetized in May of last year. By July, I had expected to get the Ads on Reels invite, but never did. At this point, I started contacting Meta, because I had some weird messages on my account that I was ineligible for "other monetization tools" but did not have a violation to appeal.
For those that have seen success with getting the invite to Ads on Reels, I have some questions. I'm wondering if this is a problem with my actual content and not necessarily a violation. My process is as follows:
I create a video on TikTok because I find their interface easiest to use. I either download a copy of my video before posting, or I use a TikTok downloader app to remove the watermark. I then post it as a Facebook Reel. Am I not getting the invite, because I'm using music I got from TikTok? I've posted my last few Reels on Facebook without music at all, but have seen no change in the status of my account and still haven't gotten the invite.
Some key points:
*I do have professional mode turned on
*I have never had a monetization or content violation. The "request another review" box is grayed out and has been since the start of this.
*I have contacted Meta support chat and was told repeatedly that they cannot help me and that eligibility is determined soley by the system, they cannot see why I am not approved nor can they nudge it foward.
*I was also told separately (in July) that this was a known bug (see screenshot) and that they were working on it. Google searches also indicate this might be a bug, and I've submitted bug reports with screenshots.
*Meta continually marks my cases as "completed" because they apparently do not have people to support specific creator issues like the one I'm having.
*Meta contacted me by phone last summer, but still no resolution.
* I have tweeted and DMed Meta with my case numbers, without acknowledgement.
Thank you to anyone who has read this far and I would appreciate any and all advice on how to get out of this hole. Xposted from r / facebook
https://preview.redd.it/v29105h70tgc1.jpg?width=159&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=884aa5b4a8ac0f762e1677882e2d40bea838d9bc
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I just want to say grab your coffee's this one is going to be a long one as there's alot to cover 🙃. Also this is my first time actually posting on here so I'm not 100% sure if i have posted in the right place so im sorry if i haven't.
Okay so i am 32 my boyfriend is 31 i have been with him 11 years in may. When we first met i had a daughter who was 3 at the time he was a pretty all round amazing person he took on the role of dad to my daughter and i could never be more grateful than i am for that. He had his flaws as we all do but they were minor at that point.. fast foward a couple of years we had a son together.. this is where i realise he has a major gambling problem.. trying to get more money for things we need for our son.. it's been a thing on and off throughout our "relationship" i have had to figure out ways to get money to cover bills ect when he's gambled away his wages. He smokes weed daily was never a issue until he started spending more and more money on it he would even save money for weed when he gambled 🙃. I stay home with a little cleaning job and he works about 30/40 hours a week on min wage (we're in the uk). Money was the cause of the majority of our arguments.. mainly when he has gambled. Along with me not getting any quality time with him as all he would do is play games on his phone & smoke weed.. i learned to live with it.. he wasn't perfect (neither am i) but i still decided to stick by him throughout everything. I will also add i do absolutely everything in the house. He used to help out abit in the house i never expected him to come home from work and clean or whatever.. but i fully did expect him to put his own rubbish in the bin and he wouldn't and still doesn't as "its my job".
Fast foward again to just over a year ago when he started watching fresh n fit, pearly things and whoever else he got caught up on watching. He became a absolute stranger. He wasn't kind anymore not to me anyway. It started off in arguments he would literally scream over me not allowing me to have a say about anything he wouldn't hear me out. He started dropping comments in here and there about "all women".. firstly it was women should stay home and take care of the kids, house and their partner... he has played hell on these roles with me to the point where i kind of gave in even arguing that i needed just some kind of help literally the only job he does in the house is let the 3 dogs out on a night before he goes to bed. I mean.. if you want them traditional roles surely you should be doing atleast DIY in the house? Taking the bins out ect?. Anyway the arguments were getting worse and worse and almost daily. He would tell me he knows what he wants in a relationship and im not it.. he wants to be "the leader" talks of cheating started to come up... "every man cheats" and if the women leaves him for it then she is destroying the family not the man.. he thinks its acceptable in certain circumstances... but then will back track and say he has never said that. All i ever wanted was to marry him.. he will sit there and say act like a wife get wifed. If he was with his ex she would of been wifed of because she was less argumentative (his ex from about 13/14years ago). My weight started coming into arguments.. im currently a size uk 12-14. Im not skinny, i am overweight i can admit that but having him the person i love turning around and saying im fat was devastating. And at this point due to all the stress i had dropped a dress size but he hadn't noticed... he would bang on about onlyfan girls being slags and they'll never find a man... and then tell me i should do only fans with him for money?. (Not a chance by the way) and he hated that it was a point blank no. He has told me i am not good enough for him.. im a bad mum and dads raise kids better then women do. I will never find a man if i leave because my value is low now with having 2 kids and my age. Womens opinions do not matter. He wants more kids always has.. i haven't really.. he told me a few months back if we didn't have anymorenin next 5 years he will up and leave and find someone he can have more kids with... we was trying at one point but now theres not a chance i will bring another kid into this "relationship". He is now a firm believer that i should give him sex whenever he wants it... i mean his personality is a major turn off so i never want to now 🤷🏻‍♀️ my satisfaction no longer matters 🙄.
In march we split for a couple of weeks he went to live with his friend... he had a big operation coming up and i begged to be by his side and take care of him after (what a mug) so we got back together
My mum passed away in 2010 (before i met him) i have days where its so hard and when this was mentioned he simply said i shouldn't still be grieving.. this absolutely devastated me again hearing this from him..
I do suffer from depression and this past year has been absolute hell to the point i didn't want to be here anymore.. only thing that stopped me was my kids and i could never ever do that to them. Im not perfect, i don't have the motivation to tidy daily when i have no help with him cleaning up after himself. He comes in and messes everything up leaving his 💩 laying around. Every so often i will have my old partner back the most kind person ever, will cook dinner one night.. the person i fell in love with.. and this is what's kept me hanging on hoping its just a phase.. but now i truly don't think it is. He literally treats me like im disposable he will tell me he can find better.
The end of september i did the stupid thing checking his phone.. to see he had been trying to message other girls on facebook. "He was sorry i found out" but not sorry he did it... since march he had refused to even have in a relationship with me on there.. said it doesn't matter (im not stupid). Then he would change it to "in a relationship". But wouldn't have it with me... may seem stupid to some people but to me i felt like he was ashamed of me... and that he didn't want girls knowing i know thats it im not stupid 🙄. He never had a issue all these years before. His current status is set to single and has been for months.. makes me feel amazing 🙃🤷🏻‍♀️.
I will add in he wants to play the role of "alpha" but does nothing to deserve it...he literally pays £80 a week for bills (if he hasn't gambled it away) my rent alone in £550 and if your from the uk you know the prices of gas & electric and food.. never mind the other bills. He never takes me out if we go out i pay which was fine until all of this.. last year i didnt even get a birthday present or card.. nothing for mothers day.. family days out i pay for.. school clothes... shoes clothes in general for the kids i buy. So he doesnt exactly provide although he works... but has it in his deluded head he does..
If you got to this point thank you and sorry 🙃. I needed to get this off my chest.. i now need to figure out how i fully end it with him.. as he has nowhere to go if it ends and will refuse to leave the house until he has enough money to get somewhere... which will then mean him living here paying absolutely nothing while he "saves". I also need to figure out how to stick to this and not cave 😂 so any advice on that would be appreciated.
There's alot more things that have been said but this post is waaay to long as if is. I am absolutely drained.
Thank you.

So me (M35) and my sister (F40) grew up without a father. My mum has never even mentioned him to us, not ever, not in passing, nothing. It became so normalised to not speak about it, the whole subject has become taboo. She is happily married to my step dad now never once told us anything about him or why he's not around.
As a curious/nosy teenager I once read a diary (planner, not diary diary) that belonged to my mum in the late 80's which was locked in a drawer at home. Having skimmed it I found mention of a court date with a [first name] written next to it.
Fast foward a decade or so and i'm at a work christmas party in a fancy manor house that's hosting multiple events. This lady I vaguely remember from childhood comes sauntering over, drunk af and gives me a big awkward hug and oh so original My u/FardenUK how you've grown etc. I dont recall exactly how it came up but she said about how she still see's [first name] (my dad) sometimes and asked if I'd seem him recently. It was so casual and out of nowhere I pretty much blue screened, said no and moved on.
However, curious when I got home, I logged into my mums facebook (standard boomer same password for everything), looked up this lady and searched through her friends list and found one person called [first name] - I click on his profile and most of it is private but one of his old profile pictures is of him in the 80s. I am a carbon. fucking. copy. Same build, features, eyebrows, big ass nose. Honestly you could show any of my friends this picture and they'd think it was me with a cheesy 80's filter. We even have similar interests which is interesting - both ride motorbikes, love dogs, similar music tastes given his choices in band teeshirts (i got all this from his old profile pictures).
Anyway, digging further into what I can find online, it appeared I have 2 half sisters, one roughly my age and another a bit younger - I wasn't 100% sure as it was mostly based on facebook snooping but I was fairly certain (it wasn't as simple as just viewing their family ties on facebook as it was all hidden). I was pretty mind blown but eventually just kinda forgot about it until my fiancé's dad passed a little over a year ago. We were talking about family medical history as he died from a heart attack and subsequently we ended up talking about my biological dad again, and the fact I might have half sisters.
Turns out, about 12 years ago me and my fiancé had gone out for dinner with my mum for her birthday and when I had gone to pee, my mum tipsy-ly announced to my fiancé that the 2 girls sat "over there" were my half sisters. Finding this out after so long kinda pissed me off, especially as she was fully aware of the revelations after that christmas party. but alas, but I can understand her reason as she just didnt know what to do with that information and then as time passed by, she kinda forgot about it (and also thought that maybe I already knew).
Anyway, a year ago I reached out to my sister and asked what she knew about our dad and if she knew we had half sisters - the dad not much, but she told me that my mum had got a bit loaded on a trip to hong kong and told her about the half sisters! (to be clear, she rarely drinks!) - My sister told me that she knew their names and that they lived roughly in my area (my sister moved across the country about 10 years ago) but that was it and asked for their profile links (dad and sisters) so she could have a look.
Mind once again blown.
anyway, the astute amongst those that even read this far will have noticed that a fair chunk of time has elapsed since the events described here so I came not seeking immediate advice, though I would welcome it. More just to vent and well, get it off my chest as... 1. I feel kinda like i'm the only one that didn't know. I might have to ask the step dad the next time we end up on a long drive together... 2. The older of the half sisters works in a record store in the town I live in - I walk past it a lot and often day dream of just walking in there to browse and to see if she recognises me - would be very interesting to know if she did. 3. Should I connect with them? Me and my cousin are super close as a, she was born on my 10th birthday which has always been a fun connection and b, I always wanted a younger sister and her big brother decided to live with his dad when he and my aunt split, I kinda assumed the role. The whole being a big brother ship has almost certainly sailed as they're in their 20's and 30's now from what I can tell and I'm not sure they'd be too interested in an awkward potato half brother who john cena's their lives outta nowhere but I still wonder how it would go. But then it worries me that if they dont know about me and my older sister - would it implode their family? I don't want to be responsible for that (even if it would technically be my dads fault) 4. Do I reach out to my dad? I dont know what he did, I don't know why he left. Judging by his facebook posts we share a lot of interests and political views, the apple certainly didn't fall far. My mum can be pretty stubborn sometimes so it could have just been a 'normal' break up, but why the radio silence and why so taboo?
I guess i'm just wrestling between the facts that we only get one shot on this rock and you miss every opportunity you don't take, but also I made it this far without them in my life, i'm happy, reasonably healthy and feathers on both sides remain happily unruffled.
Is it really all worth the drama?

We've stayed at Aulani a few times and have used the pay-it-forward Facebook group to pick up and leave behind items that are no longer needed.
I usually tend to overbuy on items such laundry pods, food, and sunscreen.
I will be visiting for the first time and was wondering if there is such a group for the Walt Disney World resorts?

First time poster, please be nice. Also sorry for any mistakes.
I (22F) have been dating my bf (18M) for a year now. He is the love of my life and we are dating to marry (hopefully).
This will be quite long, but I'd like to give you some context to this. I hope it all makes sense.
Here you go:
When we met, I was 20 and he was 16, but soon I turned 21 and him 17. We worked at the same place, but in different sectors.
Initially I thought he was much older than what he actually was, because of his looks and personality. So, when I found about his age, I had a mini-heartattack. I confirmed at the time and it's legal to date anyone who is 16 years old, even if the other person is older than 18. Still, I tried to fight it, but I was unsuccessful.
We ended up going on dates with only his dad knowing about it. He was very supportive from the beggining. Now, when his mom found out, she was not pleased - at all. After a while, she discovered my Facebook and she immediatly started being fine with me and her son dating. Why? Because she thought I was 30 and in her eyes, I look like I'm 16 so she was fine with it. Amazing.
Until this moment, we had only been seeing each other on the weekends. But when it stopped being a "secret" and no one was against it, we started seeing each other more often. He started coming to my place and I to his (we both live in our parents' house). His mother even helped him to buy me a ring, so that he could officially ask me to be his girlfriend - this is a very common thing where I live.
A few months go by and he can now sleep at my place sometimes, during the weekends. Eventually, I started doing the same. Our parents have met and everyone likes each other. I even have met his extended family (I don't have any, so that's why he doesn't know anyone beside my parents/remaining grandparents).
We usually spend most of our days together when we can, after work/uni (for me) and school/sometimes work (for him). When he's in my house, he always help out in every way he can. I do the same when I am at his house. This applis to regular chores like washing the dishes, making dinner, folding clothes and also watching over his brothers (8M, 13M)/helping them with homework.
In July, we were living together in my godmother's house. She went to visit her mom abroad and entrusted us with her home. Since it was summer, we were working at the said place where we met. We made sure to always visit his parents every day, since it was close, and would visit my parents every 2-3 days.
I have a driver's license, but don't own a car. My godmother told me to use hers and that's how we moved around. My bf had a motorcycle and sometimes he was the one driving us. This normally happened during the morning, because I take a really long time to wake up and am very grumpy. He, on the other hand, is very energetic, so he was "in charge" of driving us to work in the morning, because I didn't want us to have an accident with me driving too sleepy.
One day came and we had an accident. A girl driving her car, basically ran us over. It was an accident that I consider to have been easily avoidable, but I understand that the girl was nervous. She wanted to back the car, but ended up driving in our direction. Luckily, my bf didn't get hurt but my left ankle got smashed by her car. I was unable to work (I'm a horserider) and had to start my intership in teaching with a cast/boot (I have two classes).
He started taking care of me, everyday. Everyone was fine with it, My parents appreciated it, because they already have a lot to handle with my disabled grandmother. His parents encouraged him to come and help me.
I spent two whole months with a cast and almost two other with a walker boot (although I still use crutches). When wearing a cast, I never missed any important events from his family. I even went camping a whole weekend to celebrate his brother's birthday. My bf helped me get around - considering the fact that whenever I wanted to go to the bathroom I had to go down 80 steps down and then up, my bf carried me. I always felt very embarrassed to be the center of the attention, but I was always very grateful for all he did.
I hope I'm not giving any unnecessary context, because when I start telling a story, I always tend to go over every single detail - even if it doesn't matter.
Anyways, back to the story. He also started riding my mare, because he too loves horses and knows how to stay on, but hasn't been taught technically. I thought instead of having me pay my monthly fee at the barn and see my mare have 0 exercise, I would pay for him to take riding lessons and work with my mare instead. I askd him about this and he was/is very excited.
Recently, his father suffered a stroke and had to be hospitalized. His dad is a farmer and since there's no one to take care of the cows and the fields, my bf had to step in and a family friend offered to help. My bf knows what he is doing, he loves the job and is studying to be a qualified farmer. The biggest issue here was that he wakes up at 6am to milk the cows, runs back to the house to have a shower, drives to school, and then drives back at 5pm to milk the cows again.
Anther issue is that his mom doesn't drive and my bf is currently taking his driver's license to legally drive a car, which means no transport for her to pay him a visit. His aunts normally drove his mom daily, but since my bf was out working and his mom in the hospital with his dad, there was no one to watch over his brothers.
I voluntereed to stay with the kids. I have a very busy scheduele, but I wanted to help out. Like I said, I am doing an intership in teaching but I have two classes of my own. I work like a teacher, because I am being paid like one. I have all the responsabilities. Plus, I still have to attend classes at university.
A few times, my mom even gave his mom a ride to the hospital and back while I watched the kids. I helped them with everything, except for dinner because it's very difficult for me in the state that I currently am in. So every once and then, I ordered dinner and paid for it. This way, his mom didn't have to bother making it and neither did my bf need to cook.
His father got better last week and is now home. I am still going over to watch the kids sometimes, to give the couple the space they need so they can relax a little. I must confess, I'm a little exhausted but they're kind of my family too, which is why I don't mind doing all of this.
What I do mind is hearing some comments from his dad about my bf not doing a good job at the farm. It's not the case, but even if it was? He's helping, he's trying to be responsible. I have never said anything, because I feel this is direct at me. His dad says in my presence but not my bf's, that when he has his own farm to take care of it's not just going to milk the cows and go home (to his gf). My bf knows the job is much more than that and his dad knows, so I feel like this was coming at me and not bf. But I do know too that it takes a lot of effort and I am always supportive of my bf and what he wants to be when the time comes. I even help him study to pass all the subjects related to languages so that he can achieve his goal.
Moving foward. Sometimes I stay over and I take showers there, with my bf when he comes home. I take showers seated on a little bench and he is the one that helps me, basically giving me the shower. His parents are fully aware of this and they don't mind. Especially his father, that's always saying that we should take our showers together.
Yesterday, my bf was at my place. He had dinner here and then helped me shower. Because of this, he got home a little bit later than usual (a little bit past midnight). His dad was up, watching tv and asked him what took him so long, to which my bf replied he was helping me with my shower. He got mad, saying that he spoils me too much and that I am the boss of him, doing with him what I please. That he's not a man, like he raised my bf to be.
I mean I'm a bit spoiled but I am very, VERY, grateful for how caring he is towards me.
My bf told me he doesn't care what his dad says and that I shouldn't either, because that's not the truth.
But now this leaves me questioning, should I not be dating my bf? Like am I ruining his future in some type of way?
I am a little sad that his dad would think this as I was just never expecting this behaviour from him.

New here, I didn't know where else to post this but figured Reddit would have some advice.
I'm (F; 24), I was adopted at birth by my two wonderful parents. My adopted parents and my birth mother had a relationship in the beginning where they would send her photos of me, updates, etc until my birth mother requested that they stop, it was because she'd gotten married to my birth dad and they were having another baby. My birth mother was very young when she had me and was on substances where she couldn't take care of a child. She had gotten her life together and that was that. I had a really peaceful and beautiful childhood with my parents.
Fast foward - My mom died last year which was devastating to me and I'm still trying to cope with it. I was going through her personal things and found my birth mother's information, her and my mom wrote some letters back and forth. Being curious I looked her up on Facebook. It took me 5 months to decide to write her or not, she looked so happy, married and with kids. My wonderful husband gave me the courage to reach out. I decided to write and it took her a couple of months to respond. I can tell in the beginning she really didn't want to talk to me and I was prepared to be heartbroken and to feel stupud. However, she continued to message with me.
We've only been talking through facebook messenger, which is okay. I found out that she was married to my bio dad and he died two years ago. So I got really curious and started asking her about my bio dad, his life, they have two other kids together that they raised. so I asked her about my brother and sister. She got really defensive for some reason and told me, "I know you just want to know but you really need to let go of the past. That's the only way you'll have a better future." Who said I needed a better future. My life is pretty fulfilling and meaninful now, I love my life. However, I would love to get to know and have my bio family in my life. The pain I felt when she said that.
​
I was shocked and hurt when she told me that so I dropped all questions about their life and I kept it really short when we checked in with each other. My bio father's birthday was yesterday, I asked her could she send me some photos of him that I could share on my facebook and she took some photos of him and their family, she sends them but then sends me this message, "These are personal photos from my special wall in my house, I ask that you not share them to your facebook, we have to keep somethings to ourself," I agreed. Again, I'm so confused. She even had a problem sending me his obiturary which she never did. I cried yesterday, my husband told me not to take it personal.
But I am taking it personal, how can I get to know her or anything about my birth family if she is so secretive and guarded? She has not told her other children about me, the only person that knows she talks to me is her brother. I've told her if it's a problem talking to me, we can just cut communiation. She said no but we will be doing things on her time and that I need to respect that.
She sent me a message today but I have yet to respond. I don't know if I want to continue this relationship. I have always been very curious about my life and my bio family but now I just feel like a dirty shameful outsider who is invading her privacy, it's such a crummy feeling.
​
Any thoughts?
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TDLR; Found Birth Mother who told me to get over the past and is defensive and doesn't want to share anything with me.
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Hi Reddx gang! This is my first and only legbeard story, but I think it's one that you'd find interesting. I'd like to start off by saying that I've given the girl a fake name; Pam, and that details might not be exact and there'll be no dialogue because I don't really have a good memory when it comes to conversations, especially ones that have taken place years ago. Also, Trigger warning for threats of violence. Pam was a girl I had classes with in my first two years of high school. She looked and sounded kinda legbeard-ish(she was a portly girl with tiny eyes and a lisp) but I don't know if she watched anime or played video games because she never talked about it. However, there was something about the way she acted that make the hairs on your neck stand up.
The earliest incident I can remember happened in freshman year when we were watching the Hunger Games in english class. Whenever a character would die on screen, Pam would start laughing. Mind you, the deaths were not comedic in any way(at least, they're not supposed to be). We were all like "Why are you laughing?". She explained to us that anytime that someone died on TV, she and her family would laugh at it. That had me wondering if her family was just as weird as her. Thankfully, I'd have reason to believe otherwise by the end of this story.
As the title says, Pam liked to bark in class. She also liked to bark while walking past other kids in the hallway, it was very off putting. She didn't just bark, she'd also grawl and snarl at people whenever they made her mad, and even threaten to bite them. Because of all of this, a lot of guys joked about how Pam thinks she's a dog or a wolf. If Pam laughing at serious movie deaths wasn't concerning, there've been a few occasions where she drew a pentagram on a sticky note and the dry erase board for everyone to see. I don't think she ever told anyone why she did it. I don't mean to sound like Debbie Downer, but I feel like most of the freshman around me were mischievous little shits who saw teachers as doormats for them to walk on, so I wasn't surprised when a teacher told me and my classmates that Pam left the school because she was treated so poorly. I wouldn't see her again until sophomore year.
Fast foward to sophomore year, and Pam was just as weird as she was the previous year, except now she'd occasionally talk about having 7 children at home, eventhough she was 16 year old at the time. She'd also get caught watching some concerning YouTube videos without headphones on a few occasions. If I remember correctly, she watched at least one video about pregnancy and played the song "Cannibal" by Ke$ha. I don't say this to judge her taste in music, I just think it's awkward when someone plays a song like that when everyone else is doing schoolwork. At some point, some guys found out that Pam dosen't like to see crosses. I remember this one time I saw a guy holding out the cross on his necklace for Pam to see it. When she saw it, she hid under a desk, wimpering like a dog hiding from an abusive owner. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little mischievous myself. In fact, I came pretty close to becoming a full blown neckbeard myself, but that's a story for another time. One day, I drew a cross on a piece of paper to show it to her out of curiosity. What did she do? She ripped it to pieces and snarled at me, like she wanted to rip my face off like a rabid dog. I just got back to my seat without saying a word.
I don't know how to organically bring this up or when it happened, but Pam made some kind of mask in some class(probably art class?) that looked demonic. I've heard people claim that they'd hear voices when they put the mask on, and joke about the mask being cursed. This might not be relevant, but I think this is a sign as to where Pam was mentally. At somepoint during that year, Pam developed this a crush/obsession with a boy who didn't feel the same way about her. In fact, it seemed that being near her made him uncomfortable. I don't know what Pam liked about him, but it'd eventually lead to the most worrisome things I've seen her do. Fast foward towards the last few days of the school year at english class. It was at the point of the year where the teacher would let us talk and use our phones until the bell rang because we've completed all of our assignments the year. Pam wanted to sit next to her crush, but the teacher wouldn't let her because she knew that he felt uncomfortable around her. I don't remember much about their exchange, other than Pam trying to bite the teacher's hand, and when the bell rang for all of us to go home, she got on the floor and threw a full blown toddler tantrum. Have you ever heard someone go from quitely whining to full volume shrieking in less than a second? Because that's what happened here. I remember getting out of that classroom in a hurry. As I carried on with my day, I thought to myself "If she somehow dosen't get expelled for this, she's going to do it again". Sure enough, she returned to school the next day, and she threw a tantrum that managed to top the one before it.
Pam wanted to sit next to her crush at english class again, but this time she was on the phone with her mother for some reason. The teacher explained to Pam's mother that she was making a boy uncomfortable, while Pam was begining to cry. Like I said, my memory Isn't great when it comes to conversations, but what I do remember is Pam telling her mother about how she wants to find out where the teacher lives, so she could show up to her house with a shotgun and shoot her in the face. Pam claimed that killing her would make her life easier, as if she's the only thing standing between her and her crush. The only thing I remember hearing her mother say was "You're grounded". At this point, she started screaming and her tantrum was staring up. Since it happened a bit earlier than last time, the teacher sent me and the rest of the students(except Pam) to a neighboring classroom for the rest of the period, in an attempt to make it easier for her to calm her down.
After that incident, I never saw Pam again. Part of me thought that she'd done something horrible to herself because a lot of the students were pretty mean to her, but I've been told she'd probably been sent to another school for threatening to murder a teacher. Sometime later, Pam sent me a friend request on Facebook. Her profile picture was a close up of her eye. I ignored it, fearing fo my own sanity. I'm a little tempted to log onto Facebook and seeing what's changed between then and now, but in all honesty, I don't think I wanna know. What do you guys think of this?