I’ll be traveling to Greece in a few months, and I’ll be honest, this is my first time traveling internationally, and I’m looking forward to my adventure. Thanks to everyone in this sub, I’ve been successful in getting my experiences booked and understanding locations and everything else.
I’m a bit nervous and have some basic questions to ask, so my apologies upfront if these questions are a bit basic, but given the advice I’ve received here, I’d love to learn from others.

• I’m staying for 9 days, and I have a 21-inch carry-on soft luggage I had purchased 8 years ago, still in good shape because I don’t travel with it much here in the states, but is that enough space for 9 days? Including a backpack, in case I buy things. I don’t mind paying for new luggage if recommended, but I was trying to determine if it's worth doing so. I’m kind of curious about the hardcase ones too, as they look nice and better. My luggage also has a TSA lock built-in; do I need to not lock it when I travel? I’m afraid they might tear the bag, but I hear most places have the key though.
  
• Based on my research, it doesn’t appear that I need to take out too much cash. I was thinking of taking $200 in Euros with me for street vendors, etc., to keep in small denominations. For the rest, I’ll use my card. Is this an okay amount for 9 days?
  
• Also - Maybe someone from the U.S can answer this question. When I fly back home to the states, I have 1 stop and 75 minutes to get to my next flight. I have Pre-TSA but not Global Entry. When I arrive in the states, do I need to wait in a customs line of sort to declare my goods? Will I have enough time to catch my plane? Or is this something that is done when I arrive at my hometown airport? Any advice on how to best handle this? I will be arriving from Athens to Washington where my first stop is, then home in California.
  
• Lastly, I’m just curious because I haven’t traveled much – what kind of accessories do you recommend taking? So far on my list, I have AirTags, Electricity Converters, Packing clothes cubes, a toiletry bag, and chargers. What else is recommended that you found to be useful on travels with you?
  

Thank you.

My fiance and I have been together for 11 years. I have been engaged for 7 of those years. It’s never been a wonderful relationship but rather we stuck it out because of the hardships that we were faced with and helped each other get through them. We’re more like good friends rather than lovers. We’ve been through a lot. Family issues, moving around, him and I cheating on each other, deaths in the family, marriages in the family… etc. but we stuck it out despite all of that. I find comfort in him in ways but I am not in love with this man. I went through 6 years of school and got my associates and bachelors degree in the medical field so that we could have a better life (he is 9 years older than me and never established himself. He’s nearly 40 now). With my career, I was able to buy a very nice home. He paid half of the closing costs and now pays half of the bills but is not on the title or the mortgage (all of the bills are in my name and he just transfers money into my account each month). I thought that if we had better we would be better as a couple but I’m finding out that it’s not as I had planned it out to be. It’s not the situation of which I’m living in, it’s him. I cannot stand him half the time. I’m feeling stuck. I can’t afford this home alone without being house broke. Plus, legally, I would have to evict him considering he is a co-occupant of this establishment. I’m also scared of losing him in a way because he’s been part of my life ever since I was 17 but deep down, I know this relationship is over and has been over for a long time. The only problem is even though I have mentioned that I wanted out before, he does not want to lose me. He is very much attached to me and does not want out of the relationship. So here are my options:

1. Do nothing. Stay in the relationship because it’s comfortable even though I’m not in love with him.
   
2. Ask him to leave - pay him back whatever he put towards the house and continue to live in the house and have financial hardship until maybe the economy gets better?!
   
3. Sell the house and move back home with my mom or into an apartment - I really love my house and worked so hard for it - not to mention, I got a really good deal with my interest rate - this would be a really hard decision to make even though financially is a better option if I were single.
   
4. Tell him the relationship is over but continue to live with him as “room mates” to allow both of us to figure it out in a timely manner?!
   

Any other options are welcomed. I just need help figuring out what to do.

My partner and I had an extra eighty dollars burning a hole in our pockets after paying bills, buying groceries, and putting a little money into savings for a rainy day, so we decided to have a treat and spring for some alcohol.
I drove the nine miles into town and browsed the selection. There was a lot of the standard beer, wine, and bitch-pops like Mike's lemonade etc. Right up in front, though, there was a freezer full of cute little alcohol slush packets in a bunch of different flavors like Blue Hawaiian, rasperry, and so forth, on sale for a dollar and some change.
Being a thrifty drunkard, I grabbed a basketfull of sweet booze and went to the register to check out.
I'm not a youngster, and I don't look young, either. I've got a fringe of pure white along the edges of my beard - so I was surprised when the cashier asked to see my ID.
What I intended to say was, "I'm surprised you need to see my card, what with the white hairs here," as I gestured at my face.
Instead, what came out was, "You don't need to card me, I'm white."
The way I gasped. I tried to explain what I actually meant and it was the cringiest thing to ever come out of my mouth. I had to choke down laughter the rest of the time I was in the store, and sat in my car cracking up for like 3 minutes.
TL;DR - I tried to invoke my powers as a white dude to avoid being carded.

Title says it, but before you all say anything, YES i know its generally discouraged to buy a car during tech for multiple reasons.
I am married, and will be SEPRAT during my 6-7 month tech school here at Keesler AFB. I never planned on buyjng a car as i didnt see a need but as i thought about how difficult it would be to manage one vehicle between 2 jobs... it doesnt seem practical. Ive thought of alternatives to sharing a car between my wife and i who will be living off base, but it doesnt add up all the way.
Generally i know not to pay cash down, or take huge loans. Im not buying a new car that has a MSRP of $40,000 with 17% APR or anything. I found a decent mid 2010's used vehicle for under $9k. If l do proceed in buying this used vehicle, probably take a vehicle loan to build credit, and use a portion of the money i have saved (roughly $11k) for payments and what not. Theres more to it, but i wont post a massive yap-fest on here. Point is: my wife and i likely wont be able to share a vehicle to make it practical to both work our jobs and have a flexible schedule.
Any advise or additional ckmments that are helpful are greatly appreciated. Trying to make the most efficient and practical decisions while starting my new life in the AF. Thanks all 🫶

So we have this roommate, there’s been some historical tension between us, but we chatted about it and sorted it out and we get on fine now.
so since this argument she goes home often and only comes here for lectures. she has recently said that she shouldn’t pay for the group house expenses (washing pods, toilet roll etc.). but when she is here she still obviously uses the stuff we buy. i don’t know what to do because i see it from her side that she probably uses less than we do but she still used a lot when she is here, possibly more than us (she does all her accumulated laundry at our house not her parents)
should i still insist she pays? cut the costs completely? or ask that she pays at least some but not all?

Hello all!
We are in the process of buying a car from Kenny’s Garage, which will be financed through MBFS leasing.
After the leasing end, we want to pay-off the “Restwert” and keep the car. I heard, however, that sometimes the leasing companies put in a paragraph stating they have the right to take/purchase the vehicle back. I want to absolutely avoid this.
The Kaufvertrag and the leasing contract they sent seems pretty standard. I can also send it here somehow.
Any tips on this matter and what I should look for?
Thanks!

Hi, I tried posting this once before but it got deleted due to low karma, yeah I tried to use a throwaway. I mostly didn't want my husband to come across this. Anyway... I need help from my fellow Metalheads. I’m sorry if this is long.
TLDR: I completely spaced on seeing Sabaton live with my husband. It wasn’t until I was cooking dinner tonight that it dawned on me what I let slip. I had to break the news to him, and I feel terrible as hell...
Between him and I. I'm the bigger Metalhead. I introduced him to Sabaton during a life-changing road trip in 2019, that solidified our relationship. It wasn't until he listened to them on his own and looked up exactly what they sang about, that he finally got into them. We were supposed to see them back in 2021 but because they were opening for Judas Priest. And one of the members had to back out due to illness. The concert was cancelled. At least I think that’s what happened. Can no longer recall.
My dilemma is this. We were supposed to see them on May 5th in St Louis. I reminded him of the concert in early April. I was gearing up to go back home to Cali to visit family/friends for a trip, and to see Týr during this time. I was preoccupied by the whole thing (travelling and budgeting etc), that when my daughter and I returned home to my husband. I was just so happy to be home with him, with our daughter, our dog… domestic bliss, you could say. That I didn’t even notice that May 5th had come and passed. Now, here I am. I feel like shit that we both forgot but mainly. It was I who was supposed to keep track of these things. Keep in mind because I am the bigger Metalhead so I'm usually pretty good at remembering when the shows are. I have seen Sabaton twice. If we had gone on May 5th, it would have been my 3rd time seeing them live.
Unfortunately, this would have been his FIRST time seeing them live, and in person. I feel like shit. Because not only were those tickets costly, but I cost my husband his one and only chance. However, I’m hoping they come back to the States next year. So I can truly make it up to him, but I want to do something right now to do so. And to show how sorry I am. And I truly am sorry.. 😭
I was thinking of buying merch for him that we would have bought at the concert. Knowing my husband to be fairly simple. I was just gonna get him a shirt. Maybe 2. We own a projector; we love to watch movies and anime frequently on it. I wanted to set up the living room in “concert décor” or “concert vibes”. I wanted to set up the speaker for loud volume, the projector has its own speakers and it’s above us, it’s pretty loud. So we don’t really need speakers. But again, I’m going for the concert vibe, so loud it is!🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼
Then I wanted to get all his favorite snacks, popcorn, food, and weed (he smokes. I’m an edible only woman) And we’ll watch a Sabaton concert on the big screen, in our merch of course! While watching I was gonna offer him a massage during it. And end the night with bedroom fun.
I’m really not sure what else I should add here. I want so badly to make it up to him. If all he wanted was for me to pay him back for the tickets. I’m willing to do so as well. But I wanna do this until I CAN pay him back for it. Guys, what should I do here? Does this sound like a fun time or should I just pay him back?

Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

I decided to do a 3 month experiment to try and get my AR above 50% so I could receive high paying offers. I decided to do this after having a slow day and realizing my AR was at 28%. DD displays messages saying if you are above 50%, you will receive priority to get higher paying offers. Some have said AR doesn't matter and others believe it does. I had to put it to the test!
Started on January 27, 2024 with an AR of 28%. I got my AR above 50% on February 11, 2024. My peak AR was 95% on March 24, 2024.
I made a spreadsheet documenting almost everything. The day, date, AR at the beginning of the day, AR at the end of the day, Active time, Dash time, How much made on DD, how much made on other apps, miles driven, Offers, deliveries, Customer tips, DD pay, Gas cost, Gast cost per gallon and how many high paying offers I received.
Screenshots were taken on most of my offers before I took them and after (a couple times I would forget but I got most of them).
Here is the story of my journey.
I DD and use other apps like UE and GH as a side gig for almost two years and work only on Saturday and Sunday (6ish hours Saturday, 8 hours Sunday). Monday-Friday I have another full time job. Since I was cherry picking offers, that tanked my AR below 50% but the pay was still pretty decent as I was still getting good offers. I make most my money on DD because UE and GH isn't doing that well in my market but occasionally I'll get good offers. It's a slow market where I'm at and there's a lot of other drivers. I do live in the biggest city in my state but it's not like NY, Cali or Florida.
One week I noticed it was pretty slow on DD and the following week was also slow. I've had a couple slow days before but not too bad and not two days in a row. It was unusual to have both Saturday and Sundays back to back not getting many offers and the same thing happening the next week. I didn't know if it was because of Winter or the beginning of a new year where people are trying to lose weight.
I kept seeing these messages from DD saying if I get my AR above 50%, I'd get priority over high paying offers and was thinking if I got my AR high enough, I'd start making good money again. On January 27 I took almost every single offer DD sent me and refused to multi-app so I could focus only on DD. There were only a couple offers I didn't take that were like $2.25 to go 14+ miles. Without a doubt I declined those but still took many horrible offers like $5 to go 7 miles, $3 to go 2 miles, $7 to go 12 miles, etc.
I was able to get my AR to 50% in about a month and peaked at 95% in 3 months. I could've raised it sooner if I did this full time instead of two days a week. I was making more money but not by much (I've made more with a very low AR below 50% and cherry picking). Since I was taking most offers, I drove more miles and of course that means more gas I had to pay. DD was sending me more high paying offers, which many were actually good pay for low distance. However, some of those 'high paying offers' were $4 to go 2 miles. Occasionally I would get offers like $7 to go 2 miles and DD didn't flag it as a 'high pay offer'.
I received the most high paying offers when I was at 83-85% AR. Within the 90% AR range I received a good amount of high paying offers but one day I never received a high paying offer. It was a slow day.
The day I received the most high paying offers was when my AR was between 80-85% (11 high pay offers). The day where I received no high paying offers was when my AR was between 88-90% (0 high pay offers but it was a slow day). Here are a couple more days where I didn't receive many high paying offers:

• March 16, AR was at 87% and only got 2 high pay offers
• March 31, AR was at 93% and only got 3 high pay offers.

Once I hit my peak at 95% AR, I was starting to get more comfortable declining terrible orders now since I was above 50%. I would still take many crappy offers but they weren't too bad. Even though DD was sending me more high paying offers, I felt like I was receiving more terrible offers at the same time. By terrible I mean like no tip orders to go 12+ miles. I was not going to take them so I declined and my AR would start dropping. I noticed DD kept sending me terrible orders the higher my AR was so with that over time, I had to resort to cherry picking again and my AR dropped below 50% within a few weeks. It was not sustainable for me to stay above 50%.
How am I doing Today? My AR is currently at 23%. I still make pretty good money cherry picking. Not as much as when I was above 50% but psychology wise, I'm mentally healthier. I'm not paranoid and stressing to keep above 50%. Even when I my AR was above 50%, the pay wasn't that much greater and since I was taking a bunch of crappy offers to keep my AR high, I had to buy more gas to travel for low pay. I'm now back to multi-apping.
In my opinion and the type of market I'm in, it's not worth being above 50% AR. Can you make more money? Sure. You will get more high paying offers. Are there drawbacks? Yes. You will still need to take more crappy offers and travel further for low pay to keep the AR from dropping and in return, DD will also send you more high paying offers.
My experience may not reflect the same as others in good markets. This is all coming from someone in a slow market where DD is dominate above UE and GH. I know all these delivery apps are playing a mental game with all of us. They'll do anything to manipulate us into taking offers and punishing us at the same time.
If anyone has any questions let me know.

The scenario I am trying to work out is one where people displaced by robots in the workplace are eligible to receive a minimum wage paid for by the robot that replaces him. Here is a short story to explain the concept. This was written back in 1997 so the numbers may be off a bit, but the principal is the same.
The story
I’m just a normal guy living a normal life in a normal city on planet earth in the 22nd century. They told us robots would take our jobs, and they have, thank god. Now I can spend the day in a meaningful way rather than drudge at life to eke out a living like my grandfather had to do. He was a factory worker, but then again so am I.
Gramps worked 8-10 hours a day tightening wheel nuts in an auto factory and barely made enough to feed his family let alone buy a home or take a decent vacation. Then the robots came and took his job. Life went from bad to worse until his former employer opted into the Robot Minimum Wage Plan (RMWP) to save money on their robot budget and expand production.
Now, the company hires robots from XYZ Robot Installation Company. They pay an hourly wage for each robot they hire depending on the complexity of the task the robot performs. The wage is fairly low to the company but since the robots work 24/7 it adds up. The robots pay income tax and the company pays payroll tax just like they always did. In addition though, a percentage of the wage goes into the RMWP.
The RMWP collects money from all of the working robots and distributes it to humans as a minimum wage. As a descendent of a displaced worker, I am eligible to receive the wage. The goal is for everyone to eventually receive the wage and as more and more robots get to work that is coming about.
While I could live on the wage at a subsistence level, I choose to work in the factory 3 days a week in order to improve my living conditions and lifestyle. Most human jobs are part time like mine so there are plenty of jobs to go around and with the RMWP the wages required are lower so companies and institutions tend to hire more people.
I’m happy because I work 3 days a week and live a comfortable life.
My friend and his wife choose to work 5 days a week and live in a nicer house and send their kids to private school. My spouse works at their daycare 3 days per week.
I have other highly successful friends who work in the robot industry … designing, building, installing and operating robots.
Nobody that I know works in a repetitive dirty job … the robots do that work.
People who are unable to work get their RMWP plus government disability assistance.
People who choose not to work get RMWP and can survive on that although we still need to work on trying to educate and motivate them. The abundance of clean part time jobs is helping with that.
The capitalist system still thrives. The best investments have turned out to be in Robot manufacturers, installers and servicing companies. Providing basic food and shelter has also proven to be a good investment since homelessness has all but disappeared.
The government is happy because they get taxes from robots.
Even bankers are happy because 100% of the population are consumers because they have money to spend.
Putting numbers together - this is a simple starting point open to modification and it represents only one segment … Industrial Robotics.
Average cost of an industrial robot system today is $100000 (Incl. installation & control system)
Robot wage - $25000 / yr
Taxes – 15% = $3750
RMWP contribution – 25% = $6250 ()
To Robot Integrator (Supply & install Robot) - 60% = $15000
RMWP payment required to support one adult = $10000

I have been living outside India (in the US) for the past ten years now and look forward to going back home every year for vacation. Every year, my return is plagued with the same drama surrounding my NRE/NRO bank account in multiple banks. Nobody realizes how difficult it is for NRIs to maintain a bank account within the country. Most work needs to be done in person, in the home branch where your account is located. The banking mobile apps for each bank are sub par at best, especially when I compare them to the apps in the US. getting a debit or credit card takes weeks instead of just 1-2 business days. With the arrival of UPI, it’s become even more difficult to have any kind of autonomy in making simple payments. Most transactions can be done very easily with a local bank account. However, NRIs by law aren’t supposed to have local bank accounts - just NRE or NRO accounts. UPI doesn’t work for NRE accounts. Many NRE/NRO accounts are registered to foreign mobile numbers too which don’t allow for UPI transactions. We have read news on UPI enabled for certain foreign countries (US) included, however it’s not really true and most bank officials tell us we cannot enable it for a foreign number. The UPI framework is great for citizens living within the country. However for citizens living abroad, it isn’t inclusive in any way. Moreover, even tourists from other countries have issues with paying for basic things here because everyone uses UPI and nobody really has POS systems in their stores anymore, unless it’s a global brand. But why would I want to shop at a global brand when I can shop local especially as a tourist? Recently, I wanted to buy medicines at a pharmacy and I spent hours trying to find change as they didn’t have a POS system to use my local credit/debit card and I didn’t have UPI enabled because of my NRE bank account . Inclusivity isn’t really one of the pillars of this new infrastructure and that really hurts especially when you look forward to your trips back home to meet family and friends. And let’s not forget about the taxes we file without fail every year.

Very commonly it is said that the way to quit E&P is to go cold turkey: feed all the 5* heroes to Dawa so that going back isn't possible. This is possibly true, but maybe it requires more strength than the average player has. If you've been playing for a year, then maybe the sunk costs aren't so great. But if you've been playing for four...five...six years or more, knocking down all your sandcastles might just be too painful to countenance. So if total destruction isn't possible, here's a plan.
Step 1: Stop doing all wars and tournaments. These take a lot of time; they require the player to babysit the game; and the rewards really aren't all that good. Of all the game modes, these are the flukiest and most frustrating, because when you're going up against defenses that are higher than your best team, you have to focus your team. Mono is always dangerous, but even if you go 3/2 or 4/1, the tiles just might not be there. And nowadays you get about three turns before the other team's special skills start to fire. This is very frustrating, and it's only going to get worse, so drop the PvP. Even if you cannot stop warring today because your league depends on you, click the box TODAY and opt out so that you won't be in the next war or raid tournament. Your league will be fine without your participation.
Step 2: If you are in the habit of opening four chests a day, scale back to three. If you open three, scale back to two. Then one. Ease yourself off the dopamine. Don't worry about keeping your energy at zero. Let a thousand flowers bloom! Start weaning yourself today.
Step 3: Stop doing Mythic Titans. You probably already did.
Step 4: Stop doing all quests that don't pay out gems or at least two tokens for pulls. After you're down to one chest per day, cut out these quests, too. Remember that the promise of a new shiny 5* is probably what keeps you going, but organizing your day around matching colored tiles cannot go on forever, can it? So cut off the flow.
Step 4A: Decide what the last portal will be, and spend all your gems. Buy a 10-pull, then single pulls, then spend the remainder on something in the shop. Get as close to zero as possible. Stop thinking about what will happen in E&P three months from now.
Step 5: Stop doing challenge tournaments. They take a lot of time and the rewards aren't all that good.
Step 6: Stop doing the towers. Maybe you like these (I do), but they take a HUGE amount of time, especially on the higher levels which take place on the weekends. If you don't have anything you'd rather do with this free time, find something. Go for a walk. Learn to identify ten species of trees. Clean up some garbage near where you live. Do something that will help someone. You'll feel better.
After taking the first six steps, you'll be opening one chest per day and hitting titans. Decide which of these has to go first. Keep doing these, if you must, until some small landmark is crossed, like a rainbow set of 5* troops. If your league depends on you, leave the titan for last. Say your goodbyes. There's a big world out there. Delete the game. Think about your little villagers who are still walking around the castle, getting nowhere, and the ducks that are flying overhead, back and forth forever. They will do fine without you. You will find something better to do.

I asked chatGPT this question: My wife cried this mother's day because she was jealous that my mother takes care of me while she has to take care of her mother. My mother spoils me when I come over to her house, randomly buys me groceries when she has a generous urge, and pays my phone and gym bill while I'm in college. She would do anything for me. She is a saint and I'm very lucky to have her as a mother. My wife's mother depends on my wife to function day to day. My wife takes care of her other siblings, plans all the family get togethers, looks out for her half brother in high school, while taking care of her own 6 year old child. My wife once had to pretend to be her mother because her half brother got into some trouble at high school and her mother was too afraid to talk with the counselor. I told my wife that my mother is her mother now. And that my family loves and accepts her as one of their own. How can I ask my mother to treat my wife like she's her daughter? What are some good mothedaughter activates that they can do together? Not that my mother doesn't treat my wife with kindness, she does, I just want them to form a stronger bond and for my wife to not think of my mother as an in-law and start thinking of her as a mother.
chatGPT response: It sounds like you're in a complex situation, but it's wonderful that you want to foster a stronger bond between your wife and your mother. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Open Communication: Have an honest conversation with both your wife and your mother separately. Explain your desire for them to have a closer relationship and express how important it is to you.
2. Express Gratitude: Make sure both your wife and your mother understand how much you appreciate their roles in your life. Let them know that you value their relationship and want to see it grow.
3. Facilitate Quality Time: Encourage them to spend time together doing activities they both enjoy. This could be anything from cooking together, going for walks, attending a class or workshop, or simply having coffee and chatting.
4. Include Both Families: Plan family gatherings or outings where both your wife's and your mother's families can come together. This will help them bond in a more relaxed setting and see each other as part of the same extended family.
5. Show Support: Be there to support both your wife and your mother as they navigate their relationship. Offer reassurance and encouragement as they work towards building a stronger bond.

As for mother-daughter activities, here are some ideas:

1. Shopping: Whether it's for clothes, home decor, or groceries, shopping together can be a fun bonding experience.
2. Cooking or Baking: Spend a day in the kitchen cooking up some family recipes or trying out new ones together.
3. Crafting or DIY Projects: Get creative with some crafting projects or tackle some DIY home improvement tasks together.
4. Spa Day: Treat them to a spa day or create a DIY spa experience at home with facials, manicures, and relaxation techniques.
5. Outdoor Adventures: Go for a hike, have a picnic in the park, or explore a nearby botanical garden together.

Remember to be patient and understanding as they navigate their relationship. Building strong bonds takes time and effort from all parties involved.
I'm going to take the AI's advice but, I was hoping that someone, who has gone through something similar, could share what helped their spouse form a stronger bond with their in-laws. Some background information: my wife is in her 20s, my mother is in her 50s and married to my father, and we live in Kentucky.

Warning: mention of pregnancy loss and death of family members by gun violence
I, 31 female, have been together with my husband, 37 male, for 10 years and married for almost 9. We have two beautiful children, a 4 yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter and he has two other children with two other women that he doesn’t get to see and pays child support for. Before my son we had 12 losses, one of which I hemorrhaged from and then I ending up almost hemorrhaging to death after our son was born. We also had one more miscarriage after our daughter was born and I’ve since decided to not try for anymore even though this breaks my heart a little because I always wanted a bigger family.
I recently lost my mother and 10 year old niece in August after they were unalived by a family friend who also unalived himself. Less than two months later, my sister tragically passed in a car accident. To say that broke me is truly an understatement. For months all I could do was cry everyday and feel excruciating pain. My mom and sister were extremely close. We messaged and called every day, multiple times a day even though we all live within a 10 mile radius. They were there for me through everything life had to spit at us. We already have lost every female on my dad’s side of the family. My sister and I were all that was left besides our own daughters. The future feels daunting knowing that there may very well be decades with them not here with me.
It’s been many months now and I feel like I am finally starting to feel happiness and I’m just doing my best to spend as much time with my kids and remaining niece and nephew. My oldest niece is my partner in crime especially now that we are in the no mom and no sister club. She’s only in her early teens and she had also been shot but thankfully survived.
On to the issue. My husband has honestly never really put in any effort for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. Usually my birthday I don’t give a crap for but it’s only because in the past I’ve been disappointed because no one ever did anything for it. And I’m talking about just like a card and cake. Nothing serious. I really have dirt floor standards to be frank because I just have learned throughout life not to expect anything. That said I am the person who no matter what kind of financial situation I am in will find a way to show love and appreciation no matter the budget. I’ll make you hand made cards, I’ll personally call you on your birthday or special holidays, and I’ll make cake or cupcakes from scratch. If I have a budget I’ll plan dinner and some time to spend out. I just love making people feel happy and special. I was just raised that way.
So of course I find and marry the one person who honestly could kind of care less. I don’t think he has ever gotten or done anything for my birthday, not for Christmas. I remember he got me something for Mothers Day a few years ago…AFTER I had said something. My mom and sister on the other hand always made sure I got a card and we all had a Mothers Day dinner where we would cook and just enjoy time with our kids and ourselves.
This is my first Mothers Day without them and tomorrow and my sisters birthday without her. I had already verbally mentioned how hard it was going to be and my husband fully knew that it was going to be a hard day for me. My friends even sent him ideas for me, like just cleaning up the house and waking up to make breakfast for me. Things he’s honestly never done ever, but hey those are free things anyone could do to make someone feel special. All he said to my best friend was “lol I don’t have any money.” She got pissed. She ended up buying me flowers, a wind chime, some NA beer (I’m sober), and spent extra time with me because she knew I needed my support people on Mother’s Day. My dad also came out in support and got me more NA beer, bought me lunch, and we picked up my oldest niece and I got to spend a ton of time with her. My husband? Slept in until 10:30am. Didn’t do anything all day. I was up at 6 am with the kids and made breakfast after I realized he was still sleeping because ya know, kids can’t starve and I’m not going to wait 4 hours to have breakfast myself.
The thing is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. He can’t stay employed and oftentimes will switch jobs to avoid paying child support. Sure he’s present for the kids now, but when the going gets tough he pretty much stops putting in effort. I bet if I lived even 20 minutes away from him he wouldn’t see the kids often. He has never ever done much around the house despite me working MULTIPLE jobs at times (at one point I was working 3 and going to school). I work full time for a Fortune 500 company and he can’t even schedule a damn doctors appointment for himself. Any time I try to bring things up he’s dismissive or just denies things. And now he’s also getting more angry and aggressive because child support is being taken out again and he ended up swatting our son so hard our son doubled over…in front of my whole family! This along with Mothers Day has got me just thinking I need to divorce him. He can’t hit our kids like that period. All our son did was throw a damn smore at him! And I have multiple witnesses including my niece, grandfather, brother and SIL. I want to protect our kids. I feel like after that happened if I stay with him I am essentially condoning his behavior. I absolutely confronted him about it and he says he feels bad and should never have done it but he felt justified in that moment. I can’t trust someone like that. And it’s not the first time he’s swatted at our son but this was certainly the worst. So I am ready to leave just for that but then our son would have to be with him unsupervised.
If I am overreacting I want to know. He says I am and constantly says I am. I just need some clarity and maybe just support because if I do this, this is something that once the ball is rolling you can’t really stop it. I’m just afraid…but I think I’m more afraid of what will happen if I stay.

Sorry this is long, but I need some advice because I’ve been struggling with this feeling for about a year now and I have tried to move on but I don’t think I can and I don’t know what to do.
In December 2022, my husband privately proposed to me. The day after was new year’s eve and we went over to a friend’s apartment where most of our friend group was invited. With everyone there, we decided to announce our engagement to everyone at the party. When we did everyone was elated and congratulating us; it was all good vibes.
Over the next four months, my fiance and I were going through the process of looking for, and then ultimately buying a house; we ended up buying a fixer upper home and closed on the house in early April 2023. I had always told my husband that we had to be married before we could live together, so after closing on the house we decided that we’ll religiously and legally get married at the end of April 2023 and do a small dinner with our close family members. Also note, that my lease for my apartment was ending at the end of April 2023, so I was in the midst of packing and getting ready to move my stuff into a storage unit while we fix our home and live at his parents house. We both informed our friends of our marriage plans and mentioned that we’ll do a celebration with everyone in late 2024. We had a total of 20 people at our ceremony, everyone was a family member except for my one best friend and her husband, and mind you we needed them to be there because we needed 3 male muslim witnesses to perform the ceremony, and my 2 brothers and my friend’s husband are the only male muslims in our lives; I don’t have a dad in my life and I don’t have any family living here in the U.S. So the ceremony happens, and my friend that was there posts a picture of us on instagram, and that’s when things went south. My girl friend group got so salty that I told them it was a family only event and that they saw my friend was there and they felt so offended by that. They also said that they didn’t receive any text from me that morning letting them know that it was my wedding day and that I wasn’t a good friend because of that. I had told them all that it was going to be end of April and they never followed up to ask what day and I was so busy with packing, planning my for my ceremony, and doing the demolition on our new home that I just didn’t pay attention to these things. Well after that, I received the cold shoulder from some friends, and others made comments about how they weren’t there but they moved on from it in the moment.
When some of them confronted me about it, I was so taken aback and just let them have it and I kind of overexplained myself because I didn’t want them to not like me anymore. I was being overly defensive and I was so stressed with everything else, I let them have it.
By the time our house was finished, we moved in, and finally got settled it was November 2023. It was only after everything settled down that I really started to think about why I feel uncomfortable around my group of friends (whom I’ve known for 20+ years). I was finally able to sit with my feelings and I realized that they were all pretty shitty for making my day about them, I was anxious from that day on and so stressed about it all; I didn’t have any unpure intentions with how I moved and they made me feel like such a bad friend. I also felt like they weren’t being very understanding with what was going on in my life, and they also all knew that my mom had cut herself out of my life a year prior because she didn’t want me to be with my now husband because of his race. So for them to know all these things that I was going through and to not give me any grace felt hurtful. The other part is the fact that they all felt so entitled to be at my ceremony because they were my friends when I had been engaged for 4 months prior and they didn’t even so much as send me flowers or take me out to brunch to hear about the proposal. I just know that when the next girl gets engaged it’s going to be a whole ordeal and I’m always going to remember that my friends didn’t do shit for me.
I had also found out from my brother that they had planned to throw me a surprise engagement party in May 2023 but when I didn’t include them in my ceremony they all decided to cancel planning for that because they were too hurt.
Essentially, I’m still feeling hurt about how my moment came and went and they didn’t acknowledge and celebrate. It wasn’t until this past weekend that one of the girls threw me a surprise 1 year anniversary party. But tbh it felt more like a redemption for her, plus she’s most likely getting engaged at the end of the summer and I think she’s realizing she’s going to want that for herself from her friend group. The party also felt rushed and only 1 of my friends gifted me properly for getting married. I haven’t received any gifts from any of my other so called best friends for getting married and for buying a house, despite having them over multiple times.
So yea…idk what to do, how to feel. I feel uncomfortable in this friend group, and it definitely doesn’t feel the same like it used to.

Hi all! This is my first post and please, be kind. I know English is not my first language and I tried my best to personalize my story without giving too much personal information.
I've been in a relationship with a man that I met in college days, nearly 10 years ago. I am three years older than him, F (33) M (30) but we both feel it's insignificant. Back then, he stopped his degree because I got pregnant and I had to work so he could take care of our daughter. Couple of years passed, and we decided to leave our home country because it was impossible to have a good job and provide for the basic necessities of my family. We moved to the USA, and I asked him to finish his degree here in the USA so he could accomplish his personal goals such as graduating and finding a job in his field. I had to leave the job that I have because the college that accepted him was over two hours and I prioritize his goals. So we moved again to another county this time. But I feel so pleased that he was able to graduate in physics, as he dreamed. Took him time but he did.
Back to myself, since I graduated and started working, I've done everything to support him and our daughter meaning I pay for everything. Even though we both grad, I am still the HOH. I expected nothing in return, we share our money, our accounts, even our clothes! There's like no distinction from us and I really feel I lost myself into it... I have dreams I want to pursue for example, I wanted a master degree and by that time, I told him about it and he said to better wait. I didn't liked that idea, so I enrolled my Master and was able to graduate. I think that's the only thing I've done to "rebel" and feel like myself. I am not saying he is not supporting. He is supportive but put a "stop" sign?. I want to separate a hotel room and there's a "no", plan a vacation "no", travel "no", doing some home arrangements "no", buying adult toys "no", just to mention some.
By my age I wanted to travel at least one or two places, want to dance more often, have not a big group of friends at least some, discover places, have someone to tell me "hey I planned this for us", "I separated a hotel room in X place" "you really look great".. But we are both stuck here in the USA, taking care of our daughter with autism, working remote, no sex life, cleaning our house all day including weekends...nothing really interesting.
I am the HOH, paying for the house, vehicles, school, insurances and so on. He do his part but I feel is not enough, or is just my perception? I am not asking anything more than to feel love but without loosing myself, to be able to make decisions because I want to feel human, not someone who always have to work and pay. I'm here with antidepressants, having scheduled meetings with mental health counselors and wondering if everything is happening within me because I may become too materialistic or it's because of my perception? My goodness... Sorry for all this.

Looking for all Pred Accounts. Must have at least 3 Pred Badges. Payment shouldn’t be the issue. Also, if u know some friends and u send me their DC/Twitter or whatever and I end up finding an acc through you, ill give u some extra aswell. In need of an Acc quick! I WONT BUY WITHOUT THE OGE :)
-PREFFERED S4, 5, 6, 7 Animated Pred - High Value High Money High Reward -PREFFERED S13, 14, 15 Animated Pred - Decent Value Decent Money -DONT WANT: S17-S20 only Preds. Ugly Badges but still can try if u wanna.
Dm me here, ill reply fast.
Some people unfortunatley have trust issues which I get, but if u dont want to talk to me and just want me to pay then expect me beeing curious about it and also careful. If u dont wanna talk to me I will get a MiddleMan for our saftey!

Background
The Dunmer population of Windhelm is composed primarily of refugees (or born of refugees) who escaped Vvardenfel’s disastrous living conditions after the eruption of the Red Mountain in 4E 5, known as the Red Year. The migration of most of these refugees likely took place in the years following the disaster. In the roughly 200 years since, they’ve built a sizable community within Windhelm’s ghetto, formerly known as the Snow Quarter. The squalor they live in during the present time (4E 201) is indicative of their long struggle to integrate with the Nord majority. Now, why has there been such a struggle?
According to a variety of non-Dunmer NPC dialogue, the common sentiment is that the Dunmer keep to themselves, they do not try to integrate, they do not work hard, and they do not get involved with the war effort. The in-game book Scourge of the Gray Quarter by Frilgeth Horse-Breaker makes many complaints on the Dunmer’s existence in Windhelm, reiterating such sentiments and claiming they do not contribute to the city. That the book makes reference to Ulfric as jarl, it can be assumed that these are at the very least the sentiments of the present time.
The Struggle
The book notably compares the Dunmer of Windhelm to the Dunmer of Riften, claiming the Dunmer of Riften are able to integrate because they are more hard working and engage in honest labor. In this explanation the writer (quite obviously) shows their bias in they neglect the crucial detail of describing the cities themselves. The people of Riften do not have the same level of xenophobia that those in Windhelm do. They do not have a jarl whose actions encourage the separation of multiple “outsider” groups and Nords. The people of Riften engage with the Dunmer like they would anyone else, contrasted with Windhelm where a Dunmer is more often than not labeled as an “outsider”.
The treatment of Dunmer refugees in Riften also differ in that they were not relegated to a ghetto. This is not to say that Windhelm explicitly forbids Dunmer from buying homes outside of the Gray Quarter (although dialogue of Aval Atheron might suggest so), but rather they are not afforded social mobility as a whole. According to Malthyr Elenil ‘s dialogue, the Quarter “wasn't always so bad”. Judging by the architecture relative to the rest of the city, I’d argue that this Quarter was a slum prior to the Dunmer arrival. In essence, it was a slum before they got there and it remains a slum today (if not worse), but is it the fault of the Dunmer? According to the dialogue of Scouts-Many-Marshes, an Argonian living on the Windhelm docks, it is implied that an Argonian working in Windhelm makes 8 septims per day plus lodging, presumably a tenth the wage of a “proper Nord worker”. Whether or not this “tenth” is an exaggeration or not, Scouts refers to this level of pay as akin to slave labor. Comparing the squalor of the Argonians and the Dunmer, and taking into account the kind of jobs available to them in this city, it can be fairly assumed that the Dunmer do not make much more money than the Argonians when working for the Windhelm Nords. Contrasted again with Riften, where no such race based pay gap seems to exist. How can the Dunmer be expected then, to adequately maintain their neighborhoods on a pay that is a mere fraction of a Nords?
Trying to make a comparison of “work ethic” between the Dunmer of Riften and Windhelm is inherently unfair when you ignore the near diametric social conditions of the two cities. This is also indicative of the Windhelm Nord’s refusal to acknowledge the roots of Dunmer issues. The old jarls of Windhelm may have accepted the refugees, but the Nord citizens have clearly endeavored to keep them at an arm’s length, leading to the segregation of the Windhelm Dunmer we see today.
The “Good Ones” and the Model Minority
Many might look upon Beylyn Hlaalu as proof that any Dunmer can work their way out of poverty. He is the only Dunmer land owner in Windhelm, a proud man who credits his success to his hard work and resents the poorer Dunmer for complaining. But what many fail to consider is that he is a descendent of House Hlaalu, a former Great House of Morrowind. Although House Hlaalu at this point has lost all major political power, they’re still a family of considerable wealth and influence in Raven Rock, albeit under a fake name. I find it rather likely then, in a culture who so values clanship, that Beylyn Hlaalu has had monetary support from his wealthy relatives in order to at the very least kickstart his farm. And although there are no explicit pieces of lore that support this, one must wonder if it is truly coincidence that the shining example of Dunmer success is one born from a not too distantly historically powerful family.
The successes of the Altmer residents in Windhelm are also cited as proof of Dunmer failings. They are Nurelion, Niranye, Ulundil, and his wife Arivanya. Niranye is presumably the newest Altmer migrant to the city, saying she's only just arrived from the Summerset Isles. She is the only one of the Altmer to make references to mistreatment by Nords, claiming that it was difficult at first but she'd eventually proved her usefulness. Clearly she has been able to integrate with Nord society, and once again it is credited as her own hard work. But is that completely true? There are three factors for her ease of integration that are being ignored here: Unlike the Dunmer, the Altmer arrived as business minded merchants and not as refugees, There were already well established and respected Altmer living in the city prior to her arrival, and her business is unfairly propped up by her dealings with crime guilds. Her business directly competes with that of Ravyn Sadri, a Dunmer general goods merchant. By acquiring her goods through her criminal connections and selling at absurdly low prices, she is able to quite easily undercut Ravyn’s business, who operates honestly.
Referencing Scourge of the Gray Quarter again, the writing finishes by claiming that Windhelm Argonians should be the model for Dunmer behavior and acceptance. They write that the Argonian “has learned how to best contribute to their new home…toiling with utmost efficiency and bright smiles”. Once again this text omits crucial details. The Argonians are forbidden, by decree of Ulfric Stormcloak, from entering the city. And make no mistake, this segregation is not because of the racial tensions between Dunmer and Argonian. According to dialogue from Brunwulf Free-Winter it was primarily due to Ulfric’s distrust of foreigners and Nord stubbornness. They are only permitted to reside on the docks and, as stated before, make a mere fraction of the pay of a Nord worker because of the explicit reason of not being a Nord. This is the proposed model for acceptance? Exploitation, racial hierarchy, and wage slavery? Who reads Scourge of the Gray Quarter, looks at the Argonians, and genuinely thinks they’ve successfully integrated?
When holding these so-called examples of Dunmer failures to light, it’s clear to see that they hold little water. The successes of the “good ones” are not wholly the result of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, but likely by benefitting from pre existing privileges that gave them an advantage over the Dunmer as a whole. And the proposed solution for those without such privileges? Becoming servile and catering to the Nords at the Dunmer’s own expense. In the face of mistreatment and mistrust by the majority group, an administration that refuses to listen to them, racially biased pay gaps, a competition that cheats them, and wage slavery: how rational is it to say all they need to do is “work harder”?
Another Man’s War
A common criticism of the Windhelm Dunmer is that they refuse to join Ulfric Stormcloak’s war effort. Many claim that it is their duty as residents of Windhelm, that they owe a debt to the city for taking them in as refugees 200 years ago. But I ask you this, why should they fight on behalf of a system that harms them? It should first be said that the Stormcloak Rebellion’s primary function is to release Skyrim from the rule of the Empire, so that Skyrim’s people may solely be governed by those who live in Skyrim (Ignoring for a moment that Ulfric’s rebellion was set in motion by the Thalmor to weaken the Empire, according to the Thalmor Dossier). An admirable sentiment, but it has manifested itself as highly xenophobic and oftentimes hostile (most commonly verbally) to those who are not Nords. In the case of the Windhelm Dunmer, it has led to the local Nords being more distrustful than ever before. More dialogue from Brunwulf indicates the escalation of racial tension in the city is primarily the result of Ulfric’s “Skyrim for the Nords” rhetoric. This paired with Ulfric’s complete apathy towards the issues faced by non-Nords in his hold communicates a hatred towards them and systematically harms them.
Many players are under the impression that the Dunmer received free housing and live tax free due to what is written in the Decree of Monument."untithed to any thane or hold, and self-governed, with free worship, with no compensation to Skyrim or the Empire”. I’d argue the text is referring to taxes rather than housing, and no other in-game source makes reference to the housing situation either. But does that mean it is true that the Dunmer don’t pay taxes? One of the outcomes of Revyn Sadri’s quest results in him having to pay “increased taxes” to the city of Windhelm, implying that yes, the Dunmer are currently paying taxes. I do not think it is likely that only Revyn or only some Dunmer are paying taxes. It can be fairly assumed then that at some point between 4E 20 (when the monument was placed) and the present time of 4E 201, the Dunmer were made to pay taxes like any other citizen. As for housing, I find it unlikely the Dunmer received the Gray Quarter for free. As stated earlier, it was likely a slum to begin with, meaning it would’ve been considerably cheap to move in. Perhaps offered to them at a reduced price. It is important to note that the Dunmer being refugees at the beginning does not automatically mean they were penniless upon arrival, likely poor, but it would be unrealistic to assume all of them had nothing at all. Realizing now that the Dunmer of Windhelm are tax paying citizens who are continually ignored and othered by their ruler, it surely must be understandable then why they would refuse to fight on behalf of a system that at this point only takes from them. They owe the Nordic administration no loyalty
Conclusion
With a ruling majority that will more often than not shun, insult, or exploit them, It is no wonder then how the Dunmer of Windhelm as a whole have not been able to integrate, that they “keep to themselves”, that they “don’t contribute to the city”. For how can one integrate with those who refuse to ever fully accept them? If you wonder why they do not leave, with what funds could they start anew? If you wonder why they dont help the Nords in their war, why would they fight for a cause that harms them? The system is as the system does, and that system is racism.
Author’s Note
Idk what I wrote all this for lmao. Ive been playing skyrim for over a decade so I guess I thought it would be interesting to engage with the game in another way that's new to me. It was only recently that I got more interested in actually talking to NPCs, learning more about the game world, not just in it for the cool fights and jiggle physics mods (tho i do love em). There's a good degree of guess work here, which I suppose is to be expected with what few pieces that are available we can put together. But I tried to cite as much from official lore as I can. Was def fun trying to take a more nuanced lens to this fantastical game world.
But what do you think? Do you think my analysis is accurate? I'd love to see your opinions on the topic!
SOURCES
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Red_Year
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Scourge_of_the_Gray_Quarter
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Malthyr_Elenil
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Aval_Atheron
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Scouts-Many-Marshes
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Belyn_Hlaalu#Conversations
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/House_Hlaalu#Fourth_Era
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Vendil_Severin
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Niranye
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Revyn_Sadri
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Brunwulf_Free-Winter
https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Thalmor_Dossier:_Ulfric_Stormcloak
https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Decree_of_Monument

Think about it. You are born. You are a baby maybe a happy baby maybe a fussy baby maybe a quiet baby. You pee and poop and dont think twice. Then maybe you get a little older and your sensory issues come out where someone hands you soup with parsley on it. You taste the crunch of the parsley. You aren't freaking out in your head that it's rude to retch you just retch from the crunch mixed with liquid texture (crunch from parsley liquid from soup) and you say "ewwww" or you push the bowl away. You aren't forcing yourself to eat it you aren't even thinking about anything but ew no I'm not eating this weird texture shit. But then your parents get mad at you and say "you eat this soup WITH the parsley or you starve". And that sticks with you. First step in LEARNED BEHAVIOR.
Fast forward to middle school. You're in the hallway. It's your first day and you think you look good and you're super comfortable in your black baggy jeans and loose black shirt (not saying this is your style this is just a scenario) and your favorite bright pink beanie. If you're a boy you get made fun of for the pink beanie or if you're a girl you get made fun of and ostracized for wearing baggy plain black clothes. You LEARED yet again to feel self conscious about these clothes you're comfortable in without thinking about it. The next day you change and wear what is more expected of you and you throw out your favorite pink beanie or ask your mom to buy you makeup or more colors or other "accepted clothing.
Now in high school. You are in class just sitting there when the teacher is speaking about let's say the structure of poetry and you notice a little flaw or they confuse two types of poetry styles with each other. You politely raise your hand eager to help. You correct them accidentally interrupting them because you were excited . They grimace at you and say "I'm sorry but who is teaching this class? You can teach if you want to come up here otherwise please let me continue thank you ". You were shut down and embarrassed in front of the whole class and you go home and tell your parents and they take the teachers side and send you to your room. It is confirmed that you need to " learn how to be more respectful".
Now fast forward to adulthood.
Jobs: the interviews you struggle to get hired because you aren't good at eye contact and you ramble or get stuck and all your friends and family tell you. Or you get the job but apparently you did something wrong by telling multiple customers you are tired cause you barely slept and it's enough to get called in the back or you're suspended or admonished because an emergency happened but you " overreacted or were too loud when trying to alarm people to help". Even if you never been fired you learn you need to walk on eggshells with what you say at work you can't have comfortable conversations with coworkers or customers at work or you will be at risk of getting in trouble. And you have to prepare better for interviews and force eye contact. Also if you work at a crappy job you may get threatened to get beat up by coworkers if you say things they don't like even if you didn't mean it in a bad way and it wasn't inappropriate.
Roommates: you happen to move in with people you thought were friends. They are a couple. You try their horrible cooking but you're afraid to retch or reject their food because you learned from a young age you can't act like you dislike the food that is gross or the texture is off to you. You slip up and express you don't like it. They start screaming to each other the next morning about how your behavior when the mask slipped was disrespectful the night before and they didn't appreciate how you didn't make yourself eat their food because in their mind they cook good. One of them now threatens to punch you in the face or kick you out on the streets and it's a whole big thing. You go to the library in tears hyperventilating but trying to hide it.
The result: you try to force eye contact, force yourself to ignore sensory issues like eating cooking you do not enjoy, every new roommate you have you're terrified of making them upset or being kicked out even if they are the nicest people and you actually end up "stuck" standing there trying to figure out if you should wash your own dish or if they'll secretly be mad at you that you didn't offer to wash the dishes everyday despite telling you washing your own dish is fine and when you go to lunch or out to the bakery for fresh donuts you are subconsciously nervous that what you wear will be acceptable and spend extra unnecessary time obsessing about what to wear to a casual bakery and still feel out of place until your friends compliment your clothes or pay them no mind. Even though you still wonder if they secretly disapprove.
NT beliefs about autism is that autistic people are just naturally anxious around others but I don't believe that to be true. I think these examples here and many others are the reason why autistic people LEARN whether from a young age or once they become adults to live in fear of messing up. The more traumatized they become the more obsessed with avoiding that trauma many become. You're gonna be too scared to reject eating someone's food that goes directly against your sensory issues if your previous roommate threatened to beat the fk out of you if you reject their food ever again. And that happens too... It's the people that surround us that make us learn to be like this.