My daughter is female 3 years old and has always had ear issues. She had tubes put in around 1 year ago. A few months ago she started having drainage and her first issues since the tubes were inserted. She was using oflaxin drops and it helped some but drainage was not clearing completely. She was also put on oral antibiotics to see if that would help clear it which also helped some but it still came back. When she got into the ENT they suctioned out the drainage and did a culture which came back showing yeast. In between the days when she saw the ENT and the result came back we moved out of state. So her treatment is slightly delayed. The ENT sent Ciprofloxin and Dexamethasone drops and advised us to get into an ENT here ASAP. She saw a doctor shortly after we got here, around 1.5 month ago, who sent a referral to ENT and her ear seemed to be doing better so she told us to keep using drops if needed until she gets into ENT and come back in if things do happen to get worse. Last week I took her back in because the drainage was getting worse but it still seems to come and go. She took another culture which came back positive for the Candida albicans & Rare Streptococcus viridans group also. The doctor sent an urgent referral and she is now able to get into the ENT much sooner in about 2 weeks as opposed to months. I have been trying to find info on the streptococcus veridan in the ear but I can’t find much on it specific to the ear. Or much about it also present with candida. We were told to use the oflaxin drops until her appointment. I’m sure I will find out more information at her appointment, but if anyone has any information, know where I can find more info, or has any experience with this relating to the ear I would appreciate it! I tried not to fall into the google rabbit hole but the stuff I have found, while not necessarily relating to ear, is enough to worry me. So I am just a looking for info on this topic as I am anxiously awaiting her appointment. Thank you!

I’m excited that I’m finally going to be getting my fallopian tubes removed and my doctor asked me if I wanted to do an endometrial ablation as well to get rid of my periods since I currently have an IUD and don’t get my periods. He was basically asking if I want to keep it that way. I’m a 32yr old female, never pregnant and my periods have always been pretty normal. I deal with PMS, and my period can be irregular sometimes but I’ve never had severely heavy bleeding. The thought of never having a period is nice but I don’t know if getting an endometrial ablation is worth the risk if my periods have always been somewhat manageable when I did have them. Has anyone had an endometrial ablation just to get rid of their period even though there periods were somewhat manageable?

I am a neet aspirant .. I'm a 3rd year dropper .. I am getting around 150 marks out of 720 as always , because I didn't study , due to my masturbation addiction and other distracting activities.. I have very less friends who are either far away , indulged in their own peers , or they have ghosted me.. Due to this I became desperate to make friends and wasted my time chatting with them and roaming around with them and now they all have behaved awkwardly and ghosted me , disturbing my mental health.. I don't know whenever I make new friends , especially female friends, they all ghost me , and go to another friends group and they stop talking to me for no reason...even a girl whom I had crush on ignored and ghosted me and another girl whom I had crush on but I wanted to be friends with them , they also ignored and ghosted me .. These all things disturbed and distracted me.. this hindered my studies whole year and before 10 days of exam , my whole syllabus was left as a backlog.. I gave my exam without studying, but my parents don't know this, all they know is that I watch YouTube , Insta , WWE a lot.. in previous 3 drops I had convinced them that I'll study hard this time but now after knowing the result, my parents would get really disappointed with me and would be pissed off, now they'll not support me , and will not allow me to take next drop, because I have degraded their respect in front my relatives and neighbours.. Now I want one last 4th drop.. and this time I'll genuinely study and not will not get distracted, I'll not make friends or any crush this time .. I'll study hard.. please can you tell me how to emotionally convince my parents for a last 4th drop, please , If I will not be able to convince them , I'll kill myself, please tell me how to convince them😭😭.. mei side se bsc bhi kar Raha hu open University se..

Blue pillers cope by saying being muscular doesn't matter; it's all about your confidence and how you groom yourself. Only superficial and shallow women like muscular men. This is a cope blue pillers do.
Red pillers cope by over-emphasizing the body. They often put the body as one of the most important factors when it comes to attracting women. This is a red pill cope. The body matters, but the face is much more important. Plus, it's relatively easy these days. 45ml of filler can give a result like this (link provided). Obviously, you have to top it up every year, but at maximum, this is 3 to 4k, and this is a temporary thing until you can afford getting jaw and face implants. So, an attractive body combined with an above-average face, nothing of the male model, but even a base high-tier normie range kind of a face. It's good-looking enough to where you're seen as human by a female.
Black pillers cope by saying the body doesn't matter at all, and that it's all about the face. And to be quite honest, this is also stupid. If you have a muscular body, you're already lean, so your facial features already pop out. You can't have one without the other. Jaw implants, cheek implants, all these look like shit if you're not lean at a low body fat range.
I can possibly hit the holy trinity in terms of sexual market value hopefully as soon as I'm done leaning down and have muscles. This combined with jaw filler and the height of 185 cm is like gold dust in terms of sexual market value.
But the most important thing in life above all else is money.

1. Money allows you to improve your shit situation. Got a small dick? Dick extenders, girth extenders, and anti-lysyl oxidase inhibition over time can make your dick larger. This has been proven to work on numerous studies, yet people still cope about it and say, "oh there is not much provided evidence." But this is a catch-22. Most people don't want to fund studies that are seen as "vain," but in reality, you will still get judged by vain people, which is most women in 2024. How anyone can argue against this factor, I don't know.

What else? You're short? Not a problem. Leg lengthening current technology allows 3 inches to sometimes 6 inches. The risks that they sell are hugely overblown. In fact, a YouTube channel specializes in multiple cases where the return to normal function.
You're fat, and you're addicted to food, and you can't put the fork down? Don't worry; multiple options exist: Tirza peptide, Ozempic, Manjaro Retatrutide, Semaglutide, Clenbuterol.
You struggle to build muscle but don't want the risks of injecting anabolic steroids? Easy fix: surgical implants to fix your abs. You can literally add angularity. Muscle liposuction to remove stubborn fat a normal diet won't allow. What? You want to still do it without surgery without doing steroids? Great, simple use myostatin inhibitors.
Let's say you're ugly as fuck and have zero options of ascension even with surgery. What do you do? You can beta bucks to some third-world shithole and get a hot woman there. If you don't want to be a beta bucks, you have the options of unlimited escorts every single day.
Life ends and starts with money. Obviously, if I had a choice of 1 billion dollars or having a face that looks like Sean Opry or young David Gandy or Thomas Strijjd, I would obviously choose faces like theirs. But those are one-in-a-billion situations. Most guys look like shit even with surgery if we're comparing to the standards of male models, and most guys look even more shit without surgery and being fat, and that is most of the population. So when I say money in 2024 is everything, I mean money is everything.
Money is simple an means to an end to establish the tools needed to succeed in this world

Katy Perry, has achieved a groundbreaking milestone in her illustrious career. The music video for her hit song “Roar,” released on September 5, 2013, has now surpassed 4 billion views on YouTube, making her the first female artist to achieve this feat. Read More

Had 2 females in my standard 20 gallon and they did perfect - two saucer wheels, lots of toilet paper tubes and hay and egg cartons, food placed on both ends of the cage.
Looking to do a trio of babies soon - would the 20 gallon be enough? i have very limited space and i know the bigger aquariums get heavy and the 20 gallon is already hefty. Also considering doing a topper as either petco or petsmart has one for 20 gallon tanks now. Would that be beneficial? i did note the bar spacing was 9.8mm and ive never had mice in a wired cage so is that spacing small enough? Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!

This is a detailed post, so bear with me. The following doesn't entail the entirety of me, but is a close approximation.
Age: 27 female
Height: 5 2"
Weight: 61 kgs
Caste: Kashmiri Butt
Sunni, practicing Muslims
Single, never married or engaged
City: Lahore.
Whether you’re in Pakistan or reside abroad, I’d prefer if you’re originally from (primarily) Lahore (or Islamabad), so the family meetups are much easier and there’s a cultural similarity too.
Education: BS (Honors) in Applied Psychology and Master's in Clinical Psychology.
Profession: Mental Health Counsellor
Family: We're 3 siblings including me. One brother, one sister. Mother is housewife. Father is retired from work.
Do you want kids? – Yes of course. But I’d like to wait at least a year and half (minimum) or more to settle into the marriage first, develop a bond with my spouse, understand each other and then get into the role of a parent, which is a huge responsibility as is.
Religiosity – I’m a practicing Muslim. Although I’m clearly not perfect, I do pray at least 4 times, do obligatory fasts, do hijab, dress modestly, listen to lectures of Mufti Menk, Dr. Omar Sulieman, Ustad Nouman Ali Khan, Youth Club, Dr. Yasir Qadhi and many others to become a better Muslim and a better human everyday. I’m modest but not an extremist/conservative by any means and like to stay open-minded.
I’m a Sunni Muslim. We don’t celebrate Milaad, khatam or any other bid’ah or shirk etc. I want someone with similar Aqeedah.
Deal Breakers:

• Poor personal hygiene
• Taller than 6 feet (too tall for me). But this one is still negotiable for the right person.
• Being younger than me
• Drinking, smoking or any kind of substance use in the past or present.
• Me having to live with in-laws after marriage
• Celebrating milad, khatams, and other bid'ah or shirk, etc.
• Controlling personality, anger management issues. Any paranoid or suspicious tendencies.
• Someone who’s not willing to help his wife at all in the house (for whatever reason)
• Not respecting women and treating them like house maids or mere babymakers.
• Not concerned with whether you earn halal or haram.
• Bringing trauma-responses, dysfunctional coping mechanisms/ baggage from previous relationships.
• Forcing wife to work after marriage or stay home.

Ideal marriage timeline – Around 1 ish year, but that can be mutually decided.
Important characteristics in a prospect
· Education: At least BS Honors or higher
· Age: somebody older than me
· Good personal hygiene and discipline – It should go without saying, but I want someone who takes good care of his personal hygiene, is organized and disciplined in life.
· Self-sufficient – I acknowledge that women are nurturers. Having said that, I’d highly value a spouse who is not shy to help around in house chores and is able to manage himself well. I’ve seen many husbands being “dependent” on their wives for the smallest things, and it doesn’t sit well with me. He should be able to take care of his own self and personal tasks if need be. Yes, women are carers, but everything in moderation, including moderation!
· Balance of Deen and Duniya – I’d really like my spouse praying daily, being God-fearing and trying to learn more about Deen in general. Bottom line, the basic pillars of Islam should be there. I’m not looking for perfection, (I’m far from it myself), but he should prioritize religious and moral values in his life and have a strong moral compass in general. I don’t want the typical molvi kind, rather someone educated on true Islam. Nothing extreme or conservative. I’d also want my partner to have good Ikhlaaq; so he’s easy to talk to and has good relationships with people around him. Humility is the greatest virtue, and I believe that true Deen is always reflected in one’s good character, not the obligatory prayer or fasts.
· Having Perspective and being far-sighted - Someone who values character, meaningful connection and personality compatibility more than running solely after typical appearance ideals. Those things fade and marriage is for the long haul anyways.
· Sense of emotional safety – There should be a sense of emotional safety with my spouse. That is, he respects mine and others’ opinions, is open-minded, is patient and tolerates a difference of opinion. Someone with whom I can feel truly heard and express myself without fear of judgement. Someone who is kind, compassionate, honest and doesn’t have anger issues or conservative thinking.
· Clear communication – There are few things I value more than good communication skills. He should be able to communicate in English or can at least reciprocate me (No, I’m not Shakespeare). More importantly, someone who is able to articulate his thoughts and feelings openly and is willing to have difficult conversations without stonewalling.
· Freedom – Freedom is my strongest core value. I want to feel free and autonomous around my spouse, i.e. to feel a sense of psychological safety around him and not feel caged. I’d really appreciate the freedom to work or choose to stay at home.
· Nuclear family - I'm a strong proponent of a nuclear family, i.e. husband, wife and their kids, which is conducive to mental health of all parties involved (as supported by our religion as well). I’ve personally seen and heard enough horror stories. Joint family system is the breeding ground for many domestic problems and inevitable conflicts. So, I’d really appreciate someone who understands this (without being offended) and can provide a nuclear family setup. Rented house is okay, so long as it's separate.
· Emotional availability – That is, he is able to listen to others, empathize, reciprocate love and care as well as express his own feelings and not afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on or compliment others. In other words, I want an Emotionally Intelligent person.
· Financial stability - Not being materialistic or unrealistic, but a man should be ambitious and have goals for future growth to sustain his family in the long run.
· Generosity - Someone who is generous (while staying within reason and means, of course) and not stingy with spending.
· A simple wedding - I'd prefer a relatively simple wedding.

This is a sketch of an ideal person for me, but anyone who’s somewhere along these lines is good.
Hobbies:
I’m pretty boring by regular standards, but here we go :)
I love to watch English movies, series, anime (AOT anyone? IYKYK), listen to audiobooks (I don’t prefer to read them, unless required professionally), watch documentaries and video essays on social, cultural issues, psychology, psychiatry, health, nutrition, fitness, true crime, etc. I’m keen on learning about nutrition and health and try to work on it myself as much as is practical for me. I enjoy instrumental compositions, especially piano and orchestra. I’m mesmerized by space/ universe. I also listen to various podcasts on plethora of topics from religion to medicine, mental health, relationships and social trends/evils, etc. I believe that YouTube is the greatest learning and leisure resource; I personally can’t go a day without it.
Interesting things about you:
I’m an ambivert (selectively social) and keep a very small but valuable circle. I love my “me time.” I am confident but like to keep to myself. I’m detail-oriented, like discipline, routine and order in life. I’m a Type-A personality and an ISTJ (if that matters to you). Not materialistic and generally low maintenance. I’m a bronze medalist and also a published researcher in Clinical Psychology discipline. I highly value my privacy, in real life and especially online.
I grew up in the Middle East. I live a simple life and prioritize self-care. I’m family-oriented and have a vision for my future parenting practices.
I’m a bubbly, energetic and very fun-loving person in general. I’m told that I’m compassionate and generous with appreciating others. The smallest things give me joy. I'm also firm with my boundaries in life.
I absolutely love animals and have a few pets myself (a cat and birds). Still wish I could have many more :( I cherish quality family time and hangouts. Definitely not brand conscious and I don’t watch the brain-numbing news (I do stay updated on world events though). Personally, I live and let live and expect the same from my spouse. I’m inclined towards rationality and logic; so not an idealist. I’m not much interested in politics. I’m less of an outdoorsy person and enjoy indoor activities much more. Nevertheless, I would love to travel with my spouse and explore new places for sure.
All in all, I’m a desi girl at heart, with a mix of western touch of course. I lean a little more towards traditional values (while keeping a balance) and don’t identify with radical feminism of today (things have gone so wrong there!), but rather “true” feminism that Islam so beautifully and rationally embodies.
In interpersonal relations, I always communicate and discuss things that bother me and never sweep things under the rug or pretend nothing happened. It’s only fair that I expect the same openness from my spouse.
I can’t stand people who don’t keep their word (in personal lives or professionally), i.e. they tell you they’ll do something and then they don’t.
To sum up, I’m looking for an easy-going, humble, self-aware, responsible, respectful and emotionally available man. Someone with whom I can make bad jokes and laugh at memes together; a best friend for life. Hopefully, someone who loves animals as much as I do. And of course, I’ll also be all those things I mentioned above without question.
P.S. No description can completely acquaint you with a person. Nevertheless, I tried to cover all the major points.
Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. It can be overwhelming, but don’t hesitate to reach out if you think we can click.
If you message, please get to the point straight away with your profile mentioned. I can’t do small talk and please DON’T message if you’re not looking to settle down or intend to ghost or just have poor online social etiquette, i.e. being inconsistent in the talking stage.
With a profound decision like marriage, I believe in vetting each other first. Once it’s apparent that we’re a good match, parents will definitely be involved for sure.
Thanks for having the patience to read through it :) :) :)
May Allah make it easy for all of us. Ameen.

I honestly have no idea why I choose this subreddit to ask this question but I’m new to the app overall and guess I don’t really know what my options are. Well, whatever.
I’m a 16 years old female from Poland (if that matters) and I can’t for the love of God find any friends. I don’t know where to start in the first place. Schooling system here works a bit differently then in states, and I’m put to one class with the same people which, sadly, all of them suck. It’s all girls and they’re all those vape addicts who do nothing but go to clubs. Really not by cup of tea. My school doesn’t have any extra classes I could attend, so that option’s out of the window too.
I’m not exactly awkward, and I think I can make quite a conversation if I have a person I can talk to. I’m not shy (only around guys but that’s a different story) and I was never scared to approach someone and start a conversation. Still, I don’t have any friends. Not a single one, and I don’t know where to look for them in a first place. Where do you find interesting individuals whose lives revolve around more then guys and drama? I know I’m sounding like a pick me here but it’s my genuine expirience with most of girls my age. I just need some advices, really. I don’t want to spend another summer in my room, sleeping or watching YouTube. It’s miserable and I could really use some help.

So I’m looking for an older YouTube video of a guy & a girl doing relationship expectations vs. reality. It’s really funny!
It has an Asian guy, & a white female. Basically they’re just going thru different phases / expectations / realities of being in a relationship. I know 1 scene is the man giving the girl a cactus.
then the end is this really dramatic scene of him trying to prevent the girl from getting shot, but jumps in front of the girl after she’s already been shot. (Totally fake, btw!!!).
The end is the guy talking about how relationships / love do generally work & not the give up, & then it cuts to a scene of him saying, ‘it’s hopeless, just give up.’
It’s hysterical & I would really appreciate it if someone could help me find it to show my boyfriend!!!

Hello!
First of all I would like to apologise as this post will not be very detailed, the only vivid memory I still have of hearing this song is in a YouTube intro
Anyway, I unfortunately only remember the drop from the song I'm talking about, but I know that it was an upbeat EDM song, I want to say similar in style to Overtime by Cash Cash (tried to link but post got removed lol) but maybe with faster tempo
The drop started with the pre-drop vocal, it was a female vocal saying "It's you and I" and immediately after that (I believe that it was on the "I" in "It's you and I") the drop started, it had a four to the floor beat and I think the vocal also continued but without lyrics, just vocalizing notes (is there a term for this) and two bars in hi-hats also started playing on every half beat (this part I am not 100% sure about)
Tempo was, if my memory is anything to go by (which it probably isn't), 115-120 BPM
I remember looking up it for a while back when I first heard it and didn't manage to find it but gave up, now I suddenly remembered it again and want to find it
I'm really sorry, I don't know music theory at all so I can't provide anything like an Online Synthesizer recording :( I tried to remake it in Chrome Music Lab but after 45 minutes couldn't get it to sound anything like the real thing
And another thing, I'm positive that this will be of use to none of you but I figure I'll put it here just in case, I heard the song when I was 10 on the intro of a YouTube channel that posted Roblox cheats (lol), I believe the name of the channel was something like "Chaosity", in the very VERY unlikely occurrence that this helps someone else understand what song I'm talking about
If anyone can somehow help despite my terrible description I really appreciate it :)

I have a label for creatives (here's the link to it https://www.instagram.com/theadvancedlabel?igsh=eHhzaWNoMTBreHR1) who are serious about their craft and love/live to make music and who wanna stand out from what every1 else is doing. Also for those who wanna be influential and influence future generations of people and musicians with their sound. We need male and female singers and rappers, producers and engineers. Every1 on the label will repost everything every1 on the label drops and we'll heavily promote everything every1 drops using Tik Tok, Instagram, YouTube, Reddit & Twitter. The label has a family vibe and we'll grow together and come up together. The only requirement is that you actively make music and you actively engage in the groupchat. If you're interested leave a link to your music and your Instagram in the comments.

It's been around 9 months since I came to terms with the fact that I might be trans. Ever since I was a kid I'd wear girls' clothing whenever I had the opportunity, but throughout the entirety of my teenage years I just assumed it was either a phase or a sexual fixation.
Back when I first connected the dots, I immediately fell into a state of panic and denial that lasted at least a month. I was totally and utterly confused by the whole ordeal, and didn't know what to do with myself. Despite that, however, I was beginning to enjoy wearing female clothing more than I had done in the past, as it stopped feeling like a crime. The main reason I was able to enjoy it was due my complete lack of dysphoria, which built up over time.
It took me a good 3-4 months to accept that I might be trans, and I went through several denial stages during that period. It was only really after that point that dysphoria started kicking in. At the beginning of this year is roughly when it started, and it was gradual, but eventually it just hit me like a truck and the last few months of my life have been absolute hell. I cannot stand my body, my voice, my face, my hair, my scent, my body hair, my genitals, my wardrobe, and my identity as a man. Whenever I'm called 'Sir' at work, or when my mom tells me I've grown up into a man (she does this a lot, but she doesn't have a clue about any of this), or when my friends call me 'dude', etc etc, it makes me absolutely fucking miserable. I have never been so miserable and depressed in my entire life, and I don't fucking know what to do anymore.
I don't live in a country that offers trans healthcare, and the government are cracking down on DIY HRT so starting DIY now would be risky. But my two bigger issues are that I've completely lost all sense of identity, and that I just do not want to be transgender whatsoever. I don't want to be labelled as a freak, I don't want to be different, I don't want people to avoid me, I don't want my existence to be a political issue, I don't want to spend all my time and money changing my identity to something I'm not even sure of, and I don't want to rely on injections and surgeries for my whole life.
The reason I'm saying "I might be trans" is not because of the statement above, but due to the fact that I genuinely don't know how I feel. I don't feel like a girl whatsoever, I feel like a dude, but I FUCKING HATE being a man. I wish I was born a girl so I could live a perfectly normal life as a girl, but I have absolutely zero desire to transition my current body and identity.
If that isn't already enough of a deterrent, there are some other things that completely seal the deal for me. The first is my voice; I have a horrible raspy voice that I can manipulate to sound feminine, but it is way out of my normal vocal range. That's not the problem though; I have a medical condition that makes manipulating my voice pretty much impossible. My eustachian tubes (airways that link your inner-ear to the back of your nose) haven't functioned correctly ever since I caught covid-19 in 2020, which makes it difficult for me to have a regular conversation at a normal volume for longer than 20 minutes. When I'm voice training, the longest I can talk is about 5-6 minutes, and that's very quietly in my empty bedroom. At a normal speaking volume, I can voice train for 2-3 minutes maximum before needing to sit in silence for 15 minutes to let my eustachian tubes settle again. I've been to several specialist doctors, they've told me there's nothing they can do and that it's something I'm going to have to live with.
To summarise all the rambling in the previous paragraph, I physically cannot voice train, so if I were to transition I'd be stuck with my blatantly male voice. I'd rather die than live like that, and my inner identity doesn't feel 100% female anyway, so I won't be transitioning.
There's also something else making me extremely lost, confused, and overwhelmed. I've recently met a girl who is nothing short of incredible. It has been over 6 years since my last relationship (which was also my first), and I have been extremely lonely the entire time. Meeting this girl has unexpectedly brought a new light into my life, and when I'm with her I am able to forget about all of this. The absolute last thing I want to do now is mess this up and blow away the opportunity. When I'm with her, I want to be her boyfriend, but when I'm alone I don't want to be a man.
I'm not non-binary, I know that for a fact. At this current moment, I am the most comfortable with my identity as a man, but I have an overwhelming amount of body dysphoria (not dysmorphia), so I'm just extremely confused. I honestly very much feel like I'm just a feminine guy, but my male body disgusts me whenever I'm dressing in feminine clothing, which feels like the source of my confusion. I'm most likely genderfluid, but I cannot possibly imagine something more miserable than being genderfluid in a man's body.
I want to be a woman, but not in this life. I want to be pretty and wear dresses, but I don't want to wear dresses as an ugly man. I don't fucking know what to do, I just wish I was born as a girl to save myself all this misery and confusion. I hate my male body, which is making me hate my life, but my identity isn't female. I don't even know what I'm typing anymore, I'm just getting upset.

Im writing this post because I am honestly at the end of my rope… I’m a 23 year old female and I’ve been in therapy for a year now. I’ve talked with my therapist about majority of the things I am going to discuss and over time I did see some improvement but now I’m back at square one. Recently something happened that completely triggered me and now I just feel hopeless. Last month I had surgery and I was supposed to have an ovarian cyst removed from my ovary but the surgery did not go as planned and I ended up losing a fallopian tube and diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis. I was told that I may still be able to have children but there will be some difficulties. And unfortunately, a month later I already feel as if I can feel another cyst growing because my ovaries constantly throb and feel swollen. Having children is very important to me, I’ve always dreamed of one day being able to have my own family that I will love and they love me in return. Finding out there’s a possibility I might not be able to have children has completely shattered me. I feel as if this event has confirmed the fact that I am unlovable. It seems as if anything involving “love” it gets ripped away from me or I’m completely rejected from it. My therapist thinks I shouldn’t just accept the fact that I can’t have kids but still remain hopeful because there is some possibility I could but that’s honestly too painful. If I keep that hope alive and it doesn’t happen, it will destroy me mentally and emotionally. It’s the same as dating, I’ve always told myself that one day I’ll find someone who loves and cherishes me but in the end I always get left or abused. There is no one for me, it’s just wishful thinking and I get disappointed every-time. Right about now I feel broken in entirety, I was honestly doing very well for myself. I brought my first vehicle cash, I graduated last May with a bachelors, I just started working in a job within my professional career, and I was planning to go back to school next fall to obtain my masters. I felt happy and stable for once and now I’ve fallen on my face. Apart of me wants to just throw in the towel and be done but another part of me feels as if I need to keep going because I do deserve to live I just want to experience something new instead of being hurt all the time. I know life comes with good and bad but I just want a moment of time where I can finally experience more of the good. So I guess what I’m asking is, could anyone give me some advice or tips on healing? I don’t want to give up yet I just feel broken. This will probably be a very long post so I’ll break everything into sections that I would like to address.
Homelife/sexual abuse
I come from a dysfunctional family. If you asked, my family would tell you that we all love each other and we are one perfect family but that is delusional. We all love each other but it’s a toxic love not pure. For starters, at age 4, my father started exposing porn to me. The first time it happened, I had woken out of my sleep and looked over at the tv and there was porn up there and my dad was asleep. For a very long time, I just dismissed it because I felt like he had done it accidentally and just fell asleep. However, looking back he had watched porn while I was in the room or close by enough to see on multiple occasions as a little girl. He never made an effort to even change the channel when he would be watching this stuff so I know it was intentional. Soon after he began exposing me to porn, I became hypersexual. I never really knew what I was doing but more so copying what I had been shown. One day, there was an incident with a cousin of mine and I got in trouble by my mom for kissing him. My mother beat me and began asking me if anyone was touching me. And naturally, I responded no because my dad wasn’t molesting me or touching me inappropriately or atleast not in a way that four year old me could identify. I never thought to mention this to my mom because I didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to be watching it around me. I didn’t know what sex was. Overtime my behavior worsened and my mom immediately began to point fingers at my dad, yelling at him and saying that he was molesting me. My dad always denied and eventually my mom left it alone but decided to just start beating me everytime I behaved in a sexual manner.
It wasn’t until I was about 7 years old, when I had gotten in trouble at school for behaving sexually inappropriate with another little girl in the schools bathroom that my dad stopped showing me pornography. He suddenly became very “concerned” with making sure all content in the household was kid appropriate but now looking back he just didn’t want to get caught because there was investigation going on with both families of the children involved and he knew that I had gotten older and might be able to articulate that I had learned those behaviors from him. Eventually, after he stopped showing me, I stopped being so overly hypersexual and actually behaved like a normal child. But at age 9, my brother began molesting me. The molestation lasted from around 9-11 but I never told anyone because I was afraid I would be blamed or that I might be accused of lying. I just swept it under the rug and for years I’ve always just told myself he was also a child as a way to cope but it doesn’t take away the fact that I felt used and violated. I understand that he may have been abused as well but still till this day he behaves in an inappropriate manner. He doesn’t touch me anymore, but he’s always staring at my breast and butt and it’s creepy.
After my brother began molesting me, for some odd reason my dad completely stopped talking to me. Despite his behavior, my dad and I were very close but immediately after the molestation began he kind of just started treating me like I didn’t exist anymore. Even my mom noticed and talked to him about ignoring me multiple times. I never realized that what my dad was doing was sexual abuse, I just always pushed it aside, it wasn’t until college where I took a class on child welfare and child abuse that I learned knowingly exposing children to porn is abuse.
Bullying
Meanwhile I was being sexually abused in my household, I also have an older sister who was my very first bully. My sister is ten years older than me and for as long as I can remember she has always been my biggest critic. Anything I did as a child whether good or bad she had a negative comment. She has always used her age to push me around and. As I’ve gotten older, she gotten worse. Over the years, she has body shamed me, made jokes about my mental illness, called me all sorts of sluts and whores and just plain berated me. Anytime I have ever tried to stand up to my sister, she speaks over me and yells and I just shut down. My family always takes her side and just says to ignore her but it’s hurtful.
Not to mention, when I was 14 years old, freshman in high school, someone decided that it would be fun to circulate a rumor around the school that I was a “whore” and slept with everybody. Now I understand the stereotype that every person who has been sexually abused is hypersexual but that wasn’t the case for me. I battled hypersexuality as a very young child but once I learned what sex was and that it was for “adults” I pretty much moved forward and just didn’t give it second thoughts. These rumors lasted my whole time in high school, even teachers joined in on the bullying. I was told that I would never amount to anything more than a whore or that I would get pregnant and drop out. So many people told me that no man would ever love me or date me because I was known as just a slut. And honestly all of this broke me. I’ve always wondered what I did wrong to deserve it. I was very quiet in school, never dressed inappropriately, and didn’t even talk to boys. I was still a virgin then and still a virgin now at 23.
Even though my parents were strict and I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere but to school and back my mom still thinks I’m lying and was actually sleeping with multiple people at my school. And I would like to note my mom was a stay at home parent so she home with me 24/7 yet her speculation is that I would have sex at school. And anytime I have ever cried about this situation my mom would yell at me and say”that’s not trauma get over it.” And this is where I’ve learned to face the fact that maybe I am unlovable. I feel like everybody thinks I’m only good for sex my own mom always told me men would only want sex from me. If my own father and brother couldn’t love me in a pure way why would anyone else? And because of that I have a big fear of sex and won’t give my body away to anyone because I’m afraid of being used. I seem to be rejected from everyone. My family mistreats me, I have no friends, all of my previous relationships have been dysfunctional or abusive… there is no one who loves me. I know it’s easy to say “love yourself” but when you’ve been through so much abuse sometimes you just want a support system or even just a hug. I now suffer with anxiety and OCD and honestly I never feel safe I’m constantly waiting for something or someone to hurt me. I just don’t get why I’m unlovable.
How do you heal from this? What do I even do to move forward? Like I’m at a standstill..

23F, about to enter corporate slavery. I want to know how I can find good female mentors and good support system of women once I start adult life. I went to a university with fewer women as compared to men. And the women who did really well did not seem very enthusiastic to help out our guide their juniors. For myself, I have always found some level of mentorship from senior guys and I also see that the guys are more enthusiastic about helping their juniors (guys and girls) than the girls are. i try to set an example and all but I really feel women mentors missing in life. The best substitute I have is probably women on YouTube or other social media. Maybe its the competitiveness within women?? And ig its only going to get worse in adult life especially since the industry I am going into will have only few women again. I am a really ambitious person and I hope to one day start something of my own and I wanna find other women with whom I can share that passion. But yeah, how do I go about life now?

I'm trying to tinker a perfusable module based on a borosilicate glass tube of 10mm OD/8.74mm ID and length 10 cm. It would need to have luer lock adapters on both sides (not sure if female/female or female/male is better), and ideally be in a material that is easily sterilizable/autoclavable (e.g fluoropolymer or polypropylene). I've thought about o-rings but I wonder if there isn't a better way to ensure a watertight connection between the luer locks and the glass tube, especially since the module would mostly be used vertically.
Thank you in advance for your inputs !

I need some help. I am a 40 year old female weighing 115 pounds with celiac and endometriosis. I dont drink or smoke and before the past few years I have never had any health problems. I have two daughters, 15 and 9, and a had my son pass away from a placental abruption a few years ago, but my two daughters are healthy. I take 5mg of lexapro and iron supplements and eat well. My thrypid and liver panels always come back great! I have been getting really sick for years. I get beyond exhausted to the point I can't move for weeks. Last year I had some iron infusions for my anemia and that helped. In February I couldn't poop at all and looked 9 months pregnant and was sleeping 16 hours a day. Gi did endoscopy and bw and diagnosed me with celiac. I also have endometriosis and had a lap done on 4/12 to remove a bunch of endo from multiple areas and remove my tubes. I could finally poop...for a few days. My sodium has been consistently low over the past two years and I feel worse than ever. I ended up in the er with a burst cyst last week. My doctors just keep bouncing me back and forth. I was seeing a hematologist, but I switched insurances and she is no longer covered so I'm searching for a new one. Can someone please help me understand my labs. Also, my d-dimer is elevated like 5 times a year, my ferritin is low despite eating iron rich foods, taking blood builder and supplements, I have a high kappa light chain, my ct scans all show congested pelvic syndrome, and typical degenerative disc. I eat well no gluten, take liquid iv packs, don't drink, my thyroid is fine. Help me guess what this could be or who to ask to see please! 402 Immunoglobulin M- high 23.2 Kappa light chain -high 938 d-dimer-high Ferritin- 12 - low Calculated Osmolality-256-low U:C 5- low Bun 3- low Creatinine 0.55mg/dl-low Sodium 129- low Carbon dioxide- 21-low Wbc- 3.7 -low Rbc-3.53 low Hct 32.4 low Mean platelet volume 3.2- low Hemoglobin 10.6-low

I’m a 29 year old female, 5’8, 230lbs. Only medication I’m currently taking is bc pills. I have also been taking vitamin d3 supplements as my last blood work said my levels were low.
For the past few weeks, my lips have been unusually dry. Normally when my lips are dry/chapped you can see the skin peeling in larger pieces and it's generally tolerable for awhile if I don't have any chapstick on hand. Now when my lips get dry (mostly my upper lip is the problem) it becomes tight but still smooth. Like I have to rehydrate my lip with some aquaphor so that it move more comfortably. Other wise i feel that if I were to smile or open my mouth wide, my lip would split open. When it does peel, it's very small pieces. Sometimes I feel a sort of stinging sensation when I put on aquaphor. Like I said, it's mostly my upper lip. When I look at it, it looks like it's very slightly swollen or a little more plump than usual. Now I always have to make sure I have some kind of chapstick near by. I'm not sure if this is some kind of allergic reaction. Whatever is going on is not terribly inconvenient but I am having to use aquaphor constantly and probably going through a tube a week.