Starting and operating a charity is a wonderful activity, but it may be a complicated and involved process, particularly in areas such as Ontario, Canada. In this blog, we'll look at many elements of starting and running a charity, evaluating the credibility of existing charities, and answering specific questions about charitable organizations.

How to Start a Charity in Ontario and Canada

How to Start a Charity in Ontario: Starting a charity in Ontario requires understanding both provincial and federal regulations. To begin, you must determine the cause your charity will support and then register as a "non-profit organization" with Corporations Canada or as a "charitable organization" with the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). This includes creating a detailed business plan, establishing a board of directors, drafting bylaws, and obtaining a charitable number for tax-deductible donations.
How to Start a Registered Charity: In Canada, registering as a charity with the CRA involves proving that your organization is established for charitable purposes such as relief of poverty, advancement of education, or other beneficial community services. You need to complete the application process that includes defining your organization's structure, purpose, and proposed charitable activities.
How to Establish a Charity: Establishing a charity begins with a clear mission statement and objectives that are exclusively charitable. You'll need to draft a constitution and articles of incorporation, apply for a charitable status, and ensure ongoing compliance with local and national laws.
How to Begin a Charity: Starting a charity begins with identifying a need within the community that aligns with your passion and where you can make a measurable impact. Research existing charities to ensure your efforts won't be redundant. Plan your fundraising strategies and establish strong governance policies from the start.
How to Make a Charity: The creation of a charity involves strategic planning, legal registrations, creating operational guidelines, and effective fundraising and marketing strategies to support your cause.
How to Raise Funds for Charity: Effective fundraising is crucial for the sustainability of a charity. Consider diverse fundraising activities like events, grants, online campaigns, and partnerships with businesses. Transparency and regular communication about how funds are used are vital to maintain trust and engagement from donors.
How to Start a Charity Foundation in Canada: Similar to starting a charity, a foundation may operate on a smaller scale or focus on providing funding rather than direct services. Foundations in Canada must be registered with the CRA and follow strict regulations about fund management and distribution.

Evaluating Charitable Organizations

Is UNICEF a Good Charity?: UNICEF is widely recognized for its global efforts to help children in need. It typically receives high ratings for transparency and effective use of funds.
Is Save the Children a Good Charity?: Like UNICEF, Save the Children is highly regarded for its advocacy and relief work across the globe, focusing on children's rights and emergency aid.
Is the Salvation Army a Good Charity?: Known for its comprehensive assistance programs, the Salvation Army generally has a good reputation for effectively allocating resources to aid those in need.
Is the Cancer Research Society a Good Charity?: This organization is dedicated to funding cancer research and is known for its commitment to high ethical standards and significant contributions to advancements in cancer treatments.
Is Value Village a Charity?: Value Village is a for-profit company that partners with charities to receive donated goods, which it then sells. While it supports charitable causes through these partnerships, it itself is not a charity.
Is World Vision a Good Charity?: World Vision is recognized for its efforts in tackling poverty and injustice worldwide, with a strong emphasis on community-based efforts.

Understanding Charity Shops

What Do You See in a Charity Shop?: Charity shops typically sell donated goods like clothes, books, furniture, and household items. They are a great way to support charitable causes through both donations and purchases.
By understanding how to start and manage a charity, recognizing credible organizations, and knowing what to expect in charity shops, individuals can make informed decisions about participating in philanthropic activities. Whether you're looking to start a charity in Canada or simply aiming to contribute effectively, these insights should provide a solid foundation for your charitable endeavors.

There is a lot of context needed in this situation so please bare with me. Lately, I (25F) haven’t heard much from a friend who’s been in my life since college, so 7 ish years. We’ll call her B (25F). On our last year of college I got into a very toxic relationship where he wouldn’t let me see friends, go out, etc. if he wasn’t there too. This put a strain on all of my relationships, family included, besides my friendship with B. She was consistently supportive of me and was able to stay my close friend while sharing her grievances, which I made very hard for those around me because when you’re in that kind of relationship, your blind. She ended up moving out of our college town into my hometown after graduation. I wasn’t able to get out of the relationship and move back to my hometown until about a year later. I come to find out that B had been struggling in my hometown and had a hard time making friends or being happy. I was able to move into an awesome apartment with another friend who was actually the one to give me the courage to leave him. This was very exciting to me because I was able to introduce B to the lot of my friends from home that I adore. After that, me and B were both single and drinking a lot, sleeping around somewhat, and staying out late. B meets this guy named A who she fell for instantly. He didn’t want to be serious with her but they hung out constantly. She spent almost every night with him and despite him telling her that he only liked her as a friend and F-buddy, she was in love with him. She would drunk call/text every weekend, and started getting black out drunk a lot. When they broke up things got much worse. She would call me that she lost her car, didn’t remember getting home, even peed on her neighbors door and almost got kicked out of her apartment building for it. She had even threatened to kill herself once or twice. This has taken a severe toll on our friendship. These instances I always dropped everything to help her. I have become exhausted over the years and simply fed up. Fast forward a year and a half or so, two years after my last relationship, the one that was very toxic. I’d since become fed up with the antics so I started going home early when we hung out, distancing myself etc. every so often she’d “sober up” after a mental breakdown, somewhat get back on track, and then black out drunk again waking up at a random guys house. I recently met my now boyfriend about 4 months ago (28M) at my job. This guy really swept me off my feet. We will refer to him as X. It started off very casual but I was clearly very taken. B told me almost immediately after I told her it was getting serious between me and X that a girl she works with used to date X and that he ghosted her after telling her he loved her and that he’d buy her a house, all this really bad stuff. This rubbed me very odd because he seemed very sure about what he wanted out of a relationship and I felt we were on the same page about almost everything. I decided in the end not to bring it up to him, because I didn’t think the mistakes of anyone’s past dating history should affect the present, especially because he didn’t show me any red flags. He eventually shared it with me anyway and that he felt awful about how he acted in past relationships and how he has grown since then. I’d come to find out that this relationship B had told me about was over 4 years ago. She also constantly told me to “be careful” and to “keep a guard up” things like that because she swore he wasn’t a good guy and not the one for me. Note that she, at that point, had never met him and not once told me she was happy for me or seemed excited etc. This is all in the middle of severe mood swings, binge drinking and mental health episodes. She even almost didn’t come to my birthday dinner because she was too hungover and sad, and tried to make the night all about her and was a Debby downer the rest of the evening. B told me that another new work friend of hers that went to high school with X said he was an asshole in high school too, and that I should really rethink this entire thing. My roommate N also went to high school with X and explained to me that B’s work friend was a little off putting growing up, didn’t have many friends and since they went to a very large school, they didn’t even know each other. This was also very odd to me. I told B that these random bits about X’s past are not appreciated and did not affect how I felt about him. After all this I really started distancing myself from B. We hung out here and there, during the day mostly to avoid having to deal with her drinking. She’d come into my work with her new work friends to start their nights off before getting black out with them, buying bags of cocaine even, etc. This past episode was my final straw. She went back to her hometown to visit family and texted me something very cryptic. It was “we need to talk. It’s very important and will have to wait until I get back from my trip, which is in 4 days.” I felt like I maybe did something wrong, and I was concerned so I told her how I felt and she did not respond. After some time I texted again saying that I’m stressed and asked her to explain. She ignored that completely and instead texted to tell me she’s having another mental breakdown and was at the clinic. I told her I am there for her if she needs to talk and what not. She gets back home and we hang out twice and she did not bring up our “little talk”. I finally bit the bullet and confronted her and asked what it was about and she told me “not to worry about it”. I sent her a lengthy text telling her that I am needing to put up boundaries because I found what she did manipulative. I didn’t say the world manipulative explicitly because in the past when she’s been confronted, she shuts down completely and will block you out for weeks on end until you apologize. She ended up apologizing for that and didn’t mean to trigger me, since my toxic ex used to say things like “we need to talk. But it’ll wait til we’re at home” and then I’d freak out until he got home and it would be something stupid, he just wanted me to be stressed out for a while. After this I stopped reaching out. I saw her while I was out with X and friends of his, and we talked for a bit before me and X went home for the night. The next day she texted me “are we still doing something later or na?” And I didn’t recall making any plans so I said so. She just liked the message and I haven’t heard from her since, really. She’s had a really hard time in her life. She lost her mother during her teenage years and I know Mother’s Day is a very hard day for her. I really care about B, but her behavior lately is making me not want to be around her at all. I sent her that I was thinking about her and her mom on Mother’s Day and did not hear back(even though she texted my mom for Mother’s Day). Then I started seeing online that she’s liking posts with the topic “I hate that one friend who drops everyone when they get into a relationship, it’s the most disgusting type of friend”. Multiple posts like that, and I know they’re about me. It made me feel really guilty for not hanging out with B anymore. I ask my other friends if the amount I see X bothers them, and the answer is always no. That I should be able to see my significant other who I’m falling in love with as much as we’d both like to. It’s not like it was with my toxic ex at all. It just seems to me like B is thinking it’s going to be the same way as it was. She’s fully ignoring me now, and even though I’m not reaching out either, I still feel like the asshole. AITA?

There is a lot of context needed in this situation so please bare with me. Lately, I (25F) haven’t heard much from a friend who’s been in my life since college, so 7 ish years. We’ll call her B (25F). On our last year of college I got into a very toxic relationship where he wouldn’t let me see friends, go out, etc. if he wasn’t there too. This put a strain on all of my relationships, family included, besides my friendship with B. She was consistently supportive of me and was able to stay my close friend while sharing her grievances, which I made very hard for those around me because when you’re in that kind of relationship, your blind. She ended up moving out of our college town into my hometown after graduation. I wasn’t able to get out of the relationship and move back to my hometown until about a year later. I come to find out that B had been struggling in my hometown and had a hard time making friends or being happy. I was able to move into an awesome apartment with another friend who was actually the one to give me the courage to leave him. This was very exciting to me because I was able to introduce B to the lot of my friends from home that I adore. After that, me and B were both single and drinking a lot, sleeping around somewhat, and staying out late. B meets this guy named A who she fell for instantly. He didn’t want to be serious with her but they hung out constantly. She spent almost every night with him and despite him telling her that he only liked her as a friend and F-buddy, she was in love with him. She would drunk call/text every weekend, and started getting black out drunk a lot. When they broke up things got much worse. She would call me that she lost her car, didn’t remember getting home, even peed on her neighbors door and almost got kicked out of her apartment building for it. She had even threatened to kill herself once or twice. This has taken a severe toll on our friendship. These instances I always dropped everything to help her. I have become exhausted over the years and simply fed up. Fast forward a year and a half or so, two years after my last relationship, the one that was very toxic. I’d since become fed up with the antics so I started going home early when we hung out, distancing myself etc. every so often she’d “sober up” after a mental breakdown, somewhat get back on track, and then black out drunk again waking up at a random guys house. I recently met my now boyfriend about 4 months ago (28M) at my job. This guy really swept me off my feet. We will refer to him as X. It started off very casual but I was clearly very taken. B told me almost immediately after I told her it was getting serious between me and X that a girl she works with used to date X and that he ghosted her after telling her he loved her and that he’d buy her a house, all this really bad stuff. This rubbed me very odd because he seemed very sure about what he wanted out of a relationship and I felt we were on the same page about almost everything. I decided in the end not to bring it up to him, because I didn’t think the mistakes of anyone’s past dating history should affect the present, especially because he didn’t show me any red flags. He eventually shared it with me anyway and that he felt awful about how he acted in past relationships and how he has grown since then. I’d come to find out that this relationship B had told me about was over 4 years ago. She also constantly told me to “be careful” and to “keep a guard up” things like that because she swore he wasn’t a good guy and not the one for me. Note that she, at that point, had never met him and not once told me she was happy for me or seemed excited etc. This is all in the middle of severe mood swings, binge drinking and mental health episodes. She even almost didn’t come to my birthday dinner because she was too hungover and sad, and tried to make the night all about her and was a Debby downer the rest of the evening. B told me that another new work friend of hers that went to high school with X said he was an asshole in high school too, and that I should really rethink this entire thing. My roommate N also went to high school with X and explained to me that B’s work friend was a little off putting growing up, didn’t have many friends and since they went to a very large school, they didn’t even know each other. This was also very odd to me. I told B that these random bits about X’s past are not appreciated and did not affect how I felt about him. After all this I really started distancing myself from B. We hung out here and there, during the day mostly to avoid having to deal with her drinking. She’d come into my work with her new work friends to start their nights off before getting black out with them, buying bags of cocaine even, etc. This past episode was my final straw. She went back to her hometown to visit family and texted me something very cryptic. It was “we need to talk. It’s very important and will have to wait until I get back from my trip, which is in 4 days.” I felt like I maybe did something wrong, and I was concerned so I told her how I felt and she did not respond. After some time I texted again saying that I’m stressed and asked her to explain. She ignored that completely and instead texted to tell me she’s having another mental breakdown and was at the clinic. I told her I am there for her if she needs to talk and what not. She gets back home and we hang out twice and she did not bring up our “little talk”. I finally bit the bullet and confronted her and asked what it was about and she told me “not to worry about it”. I sent her a lengthy text telling her that I am needing to put up boundaries because I found what she did manipulative. I didn’t say the world manipulative explicitly because in the past when she’s been confronted, she shuts down completely and will block you out for weeks on end until you apologize. She ended up apologizing for that and didn’t mean to trigger me, since my toxic ex used to say things like “we need to talk. But it’ll wait til we’re at home” and then I’d freak out until he got home and it would be something stupid, he just wanted me to be stressed out for a while. After this I stopped reaching out. I saw her while I was out with X and friends of his, and we talked for a bit before me and X went home for the night. The next day she texted me “are we still doing something later or na?” And I didn’t recall making any plans so I said so. She just liked the message and I haven’t heard from her since, really. She’s had a really hard time in her life. She lost her mother during her teenage years and I know Mother’s Day is a very hard day for her. I really care about B, but her behavior lately is making me not want to be around her at all. I sent her that I was thinking about her and her mom on Mother’s Day and did not hear back(even though she texted my mom for Mother’s Day). Then I started seeing online that she’s liking posts with the topic “I hate that one friend who drops everyone when they get into a relationship, it’s the most disgusting type of friend”. Multiple posts like that, and I know they’re about me. It made me feel really guilty for not hanging out with B anymore. I ask my other friends if the amount I see X bothers them, and the answer is always no. That I should be able to see my significant other who I’m falling in love with as much as we’d both like to. It’s not like it was with my toxic ex at all. It just seems to me like B is thinking it’s going to be the same way as it was. She’s fully ignoring me now, and even though I’m not reaching out either, I still feel like the asshole. AITA?

Hello there! I hope you’re having an amazing day.
I’m 18 years old, based in Europe. I speak Russian, Ukrainian, Polish and English, I’m hoping to make some new long term online friends.
I love American Football and I play it in my free time. I also like reading and have an extensive book collection, that I could possibly show you if you also like reading. I’m also a big History, Geography nerd, and I like to write, but my writings aren’t that good in my opinion. I’ll talk to anyone, just please be over 18, I can’t wait to hear back from you :)

Any idea if there is a online tool or way to reasonably assess or produce a list of jobs, after answering questions about a job you'd be suited for ..
Fully aware it's not going to be 100percent ... I remember doing one years ago and wondered if it ever took off and got better or died in the water
Definitely not cut out to be a scuba diving instructor

**This is NOT an opportunity for anyone just wanting answers or cheating on exams, I’m genuinely just wanting to tutor.
Hey everyone,
I’m looking for extra cash over the summer and am offering tutoring services to first and second year commerce students.
Rates will start at $20/CAD/hr and will go across and first or second year courses. All tutoring will be done online!
DM if you’re interested with what course and we’ll figure something out.

[Obvious spoilers for character romances, relationships, and a few character arcs. I don't recommend reading this post unless you've beaten the game.]
I’ll start off with the most obvious disclaimer: this post is not here to critique polyamory itself or its inclusion in the game. I’m all for adding the option to games (and BG3 as well) as long as it’s done respectfully and in a way that can make both monogamous and polyamorous players comfortable. This post will discuss what the game could have done better, why the characters they chose to make poly were poorly thought out, and what characters should have (hypothetically) been chosen instead. (The suggestions of who SHOULD have been chosen would give poly players MORE options, rather than less, while also maintaining character consistency and helping mono people feel comfortable too).
These suggestions are, of course, my own opinion coupled with a lot of threads I read all over the internet from three groups: monogamous players, poly players who liked what BG3 did, and poly players who felt it was handled poorly/felt uncomfortable with it. I myself didn’t care to go through the poly routes in the game but after I read some youtube comments on the Halsin topic, I got fully invested in the discussion and dove through youtube, reddit, and Larian threads to hear everyone’s opinions. As a monogamous person myself, it was interesting to hear thoughts from the poly players about what they felt uncomfortable with and how things should have been written instead. As a result, this thread is less my own thoughts and more a compilation of all the ideas/suggestions I saw people come up with.
The goal of this post is not to hate on the developers or people from either side of the debate, but to find a middle ground the developers could have used that would make both monogamous people and polyamorous people happy. The current game did appeal to some poly players, but it left a lot of other ones dissatisfied, and when half of your target audience is feeling skeptical about how you handled something, it’s good to take notice (and even though it’s too late for any changes to be made, it’s fun to talk about the hypotheticals and suggest what pitfalls could be avoided when developing future games).
This post will be formatted like so: (yes, I know it’s long but after having all the discussions and debates run through my head for a few days, it’s nice to get them all written down and out of my brain)

1. Important factors that should be considered when adding poly relationships to your game (in a way that makes at least the majority of your audience comfortable)
   
2. Which characters should have been chosen to be poly instead of the ones we got (and why)
   
3. Why the characters the developers chose to make poly weren’t ideal
   
4. Issues with how Halsin was presented
   

A few more points I want to emphasize before I start.

1. This post isn’t just focusing on the story and character motivations, but also on what makes the players feel at ease. You can’t make everyone happy, obviously, but there were a lot of mistakes BG3 made that could have been easily solved (with suggestions from both sides). I want to see games where both monogamous players and poly players can find the romance options they’re seeking without feeling ignored or pushed aside.
   
2. While it is easy to say, “It’s just a videogame. We shouldn’t worry about what the characters think because they’re fictional,” I say both yes and no. While the feelings of the characters shouldn’t be cared about (because they’re not real), the writers clearly wanted each character to have their own backstory, morals, opinions, and fears. I’d argue most of, if not all of the characters were written really well and in a realistic manner (as realistic as you can get with tadpoles in your brains and magical abilities). The writers WANTED us to take these characters seriously, as well as the portrayals of abuse that some of them represent, so it’s not surprising that lots of players analyze them. The fact that so many different people took the time to discuss the character romances and relationships is a testament to how well written the characters are. It’s okay to say the poly interactions felt ‘out of character’ and debate why.
   

​
Part 1. IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT NEED TO BE CONSIDERED WHEN ADDING POLY RELATIONSHIPS TO YOUR GAME (particularly when monogamous relationships are also part of the game). Most of these will be things other people have said, some of which I never even considered until they brought it up.
- Communication with the players
- Consent (particularly ‘enthusiastic consent’)
- Lying, pressure, and coercion
- Character backstories and potential trauma

1. Communication with the players

One of the biggest issues I had with BG3’s poly relationships is that the developers didn’t try to effectively communicate which options players had until Act 3 (when it’s too late to change your mind). A monogamous player could start a character romance, only to be disappointed in Act 3 when they find out the character is poly. Likewise, a poly player would assume someone is poly, then have that character change their mind halfway through. Now, in terms of narrative, this can be quite interesting, and in terms of real life, I’m sure this happens often. However, when you’re looking at it from a developer’s standpoint, it's not a good idea to do this. If you want to make players comfortable and satisfied with the romance options, you need to make it clear to them what they’re getting themselves into.
So, if you’ve written a poly character into your game, you need to let the players know. Once the topic of romance/sex is brought up, have that character confidently state their thoughts and expectations about it. This way mono players can go, “Oh, this type of relationship isn’t for me. I’ll try to romance someone else.” Meanwhile poly players can say, “This is what I’m looking for.” This way, neither party has to google which characters are or aren’t poly and risk spoiling important plot points for themselves. Likewise, if a character is monogamous, writers should do the same thing.
Two great poly examples are Act 1 Laezel and Dragon Age’s Zevran. As soon as the topic of relationships is brought up, they explain their stance on sex, relationships, expectations, and possible reasons for why they think the way they do. It’s done in a fairly natural manner and fits their character.
Of course, what makes this more difficult is a character like Astarion, whose entire personality is largely an act until he opens up in Act 2. This does make communication with the player harder, but an easy solution is: once he opens up about his true feelings, have him restate what he truly wants in a relationship. (Even that’s difficult for someone like him, who doesn’t know what he wants, but we’re looking at this from a hypothetical developer’s standpoint, not what we currently have.) Having him (subtly) express his expectations here leaves room for players to again say, “Oh, that’s not what I’m looking for. Let’s stay friends.” The devs should then leave some romance options open in Act 2 so players can reevaluate and choose someone else without getting locked out. (Again, this is obviously impossible to fix now. This should have been thought through in early development).
Consent (particularly enthusiastic consent)
One of the biggest issues I saw being brought up from poly players was the topic of consent, especially what they repeatedly prioritized: enthusiastic consent. The ideal response they’re looking for when talking to their partner is that their lover is wholly on board with the arrangement, comfortable expressing their true feelings, and doesn’t feel pressured to agree when they really don’t want to deep down. Out of the three BG3 poly options, only one of them (Shadowheart) had poly players feeling comfortable with her reaction to ‘opening up’ the relationship with Halsin (and even then, there were disagreements).
I can’t get too far into this discussion without bringing up my next point, so I’ll skip to it.
Lying, pressure, and coercion
This is the part that initially piqued my interest when reading that first youtube comment section. Many of the comments were poly people saying, “If my partner reacted to the Halsin arrangement the way Karlach and Astarion did, I would not go through with it.” Coupled with that were poly players saying, “I was hoping for enthusiastic consent and ethical poly. I was disappointed to find neither.” There were a lot of people disappointed with how the poly was written. One person even recommended it to their poly friends, then walked the recommendation back when they finished the game and felt the writers handled it carelessly.
Lots of people, both monogamous and poly, had their doubts about Karlach and Astarion’s reactions. Were they fully comfortable with the poly relationship or were they just saying what their lover wanted to hear? Were they scared of appearing weak and controlling so they pushed their own wishes down? Karlach literally says she’s not fine with it but will tolerate it because she loves you. Astarion’s true thoughts are more uncertain because he has a history of lying to make people happy and struggles with boundaries. I saw many people on the fence about both of them.
Now, in real life, there can obviously be nuance. You can spend hours discussing poly with your partner and checking in with them throughout the relationship to make sure they’re still on board. Some people may genuinely be fine with it but sound nervous at first. Others may NOT be fine with it and lie to avoid being abandoned.
The issue is that we’re addressing a video game where you CAN’T check in with your partner regularly and you only get 1 minute to gauge their reaction. That, coupled with their backstories and how the characters were written up to that point, is bound to make a lot of people (mono and poly) raise an eyebrow or feel uneasy.
While one can argue that leaving the poly relationships open ended/up to interpretation is an artistic choice or an attempt to add realism to the game, at the end of the day, you’re making a lot more people uncomfortable than you need to. There were plenty of poly players who just wanted to see healthy poly relationships with enthusiastic consent, and that’s it. They didn’t want to ask themselves if this was the right decision or if they were making their lover feel worse deep down. That’s something to address in reality, not fantasy. If the developers wanted to welcome poly players in, they should have done so in a way that makes them feel comfortable/satisfied.
This point will lead into WHO I think should have been poly instead but that’s for a little later in the post.
Character backstories and potential trauma
This is largely referring to Astarion but applies to Shadowheart and Karlach as well: If you are going to give characters a lot of layers, insecurities, fears, and trauma, you need to handle their relationships carefully. Not only are you building a character, but you’re letting players see their own traits reflected back at them. When it comes to abuse (physical or sexual), I personally think it’s important to consider player reactions to certain aspects of the game (especially those who have experienced abuse in their own lives).
I think Astarion’s sexual abuse and overcoming of trauma was well written (and a lot of people who experienced similar situations agreed). However, once the developers added poly into his story, I witnessed two prominent reactions from players:
- People defending it, saying that they were fine with poly relationships in their own lives despite going through abusive relationships (which is completely fine and valid).
- People who had the opposite experience, where they lied and said they were fine with poly to please their partners, then felt miserable throughout the relationships. (This is also fine and valid.) These players (even some who went through with the poly relationship in the game) came out feeling uncomfortable and reminded of their pasts.
The ambiguity the developers went for just made this whole situation worse, as it led to arguments and disagreements in the community, with some people insisting the brothel scene helps Astarion heal, while many believed it had the opposite effect. The same arguments were made regarding the Halsin relationship.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with writing a story and sticking to it regardless of how uncomfortable it makes people feel, but in this case, there were so many other options besides Astarion you could have chosen. I think in the long run, it’s better to leave his character away from poly to avoid making lots of people (including SA victims) uneasy when it’s an optional feature anyway. (No one would have complained if he said a simple “that’s not what I’m looking for” or “I’m not comfortable sharing” and left it at that.)
(I’ll go more into more detail about Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart later, but will move on for now.)
​

1. WHICH CHARACTERS SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE POLY INSTEAD OF THE ONES WE GOT (AND WHY)

Now, just because I recommend removing poly options from certain characters doesn’t mean it should be omitted entirely. I just think there were far better options available to the developers (character wise, story wise, and player expectation wise). I agree with the online sentiment that instead of taking a step back and figuring out which characters worked best for poly, the developers instead chose the most popular male and female characters and called it a day without discussing whether or not these were the ideal options.
As I was reading through everyone’s complaints and critiques of the poly implementation, I took a moment to figure out which characters would fit it best. I took several factors into account.
You need a character who poly players are confident their yes means yes and no means no (meaning they need to be a generally honest and forthright person). It’s not a good idea to have sexual trauma or a past of people pleasing/coercion because while not all SA victims are monogamous by any means, because it’s a video game and not real life, this opens the door to a lot of other issues and can leave poly players unsure if the character’s past influenced their ability to say yes or no. This is especially relevant because the game only takes place over 4 months. Not only are the romantic relationships just beginning, but Karlach and Astarion literally killed their abusers a few days ago. The pain is still fresh and a lot of healing needs to be done. It’s better to leave the sexual content away from them for now (and if poly players want to imagine the characters opening up the relationship later, they can. It just shouldn’t happen in the current game.)
With those factors in mind, I started narrowing down the characters to figure out which ones would suit the criteria.
Ones that AREN’T a perfect fit:
Astarion: two hundred years of sexual abuse (which is a lot to recover from), he just regained his bodily autonomy, he is a habitual liar, he can be talked into doing things he hates and only protests after the deed is done, even after Cazador dies in Act 3 he will do things he doesn’t want to in order to appease the player, killing one’s abuser does not magically fix all the internal issues and insecurities, the list goes on.
Gale: His issues aren’t as obvious or prominent but he also has a history of people pleasing and doing things he doesn’t want to simply to make his partner happy (see Mystra and the brothel scene).
Karlach: While she is pretty chill about the brothel, the most prominent problem this game has is that she’s literally dying. Even if she was open to poly, as someone pointed out, any loving partner would dedicate what little time they have left to focusing on her.
Shadowheart: This one has the most discussions around it because the writing is inconsistent. This is also the only romance I personally haven’t gone through so I can’t get into full details. However, what I have seen discussed is: brainwashing and memory wipes, being forced to be a “honeypot” against her will, she links her love of poly back to the cult that she spent the whole game trying to escape, her personality does a fairly sudden 180 when poly is brought up. This specific case is more of a “the poly aspect makes the writing feel inconsistent” but the issues of her cult and coercion are also very important.
That leads into characters who ARE a better fit (and bear in mind that this would require rewrites and other stuff that would have had to happen in earlier stages of development, though the tweaks would honestly be minimal):
Minthara: She may have insecurities about the Absolute and choosing her own path, but she is never insecure when dealing with romance. She knows what she wants and how to get it. While I adore her “lay a finger on them, and I’ll cut you” dialogue in the brothel, no one would have been surprised if she was written as poly. It fits her character and if she says, “Go right on with Halsin,” we all know she means it. You could honestly take Ascended Astarion’s Halsin dialogue and paste it into hers instead. The “you are mine” line would make more sense for her than him.
Laezel: This is the most obvious one. She is not only confident in her relationships and sexual preferences, but she also comes from a poly society. Like Minthara, she knows what she wants and will refuse if she doesn’t agree with something. Again, while I love her romance shifting from only wanting casual sex to becoming strictly monogamous, no one would have been surprised if she remained consistent throughout instead.
Halsin: He doesn’t have a history of lying, he knows what he wants, and he is supposed to be one of the more mature members of the group. While I think his writing itself was handled poorly (I dedicate a whole section to that at the end), he’s still a fine option for poly. My only change would be that they make his preferences very obvious in Act 1 and or 2. I saw lots of Halsin fans being super disappointed when they found out he wasn’t willing to be monogamous (and again, you don’t learn this until sixty hours in, so you’ve not only missed out on all the other romances but you can’t just go back and remedy that easily). His talk about the drow kidnapping in the brothel is questionable but that’s easy enough to omit (I saw a lot of people wondering why it was added at all. While Astarion’s trauma was carefully implemented, many felt Halsin’s was carelessly tacked on and almost fetishized.)
This final one is tricky. We know the developers wanted a male option but it’s hard when both Wyll and Gale are written as strictly monogamous. However, going by my criteria from before and therefore omitting Gale and Astarion for aforementioned issues, that leaves us only one option (and it makes sense the more I think about it).
Wyll: Like the other three, Wyll doesn’t lie to spare people’s feelings. He knows what he wants, he accepts his decisions (even the Mizora one), and he is always down to have an open discussion about anything. The only thing holding him back from poly narratively is his nobility and wish to be traditional. Just like the others, I personally like this trait, but since we’re speaking in “what if’s” we can ignore that. It’s easy enough to tweak his story to him being more open to try new things (especially because in most endings, he doesn’t end up becoming a noble anyway). I did see a few people mention that making Wyll the poly option instead of Astarion would have made him more interesting and layered as well.
Of course, these implementations would have to be coupled with them being truthful/open about their poly traits from the beginning of the game, as mentioned before.
This lineup also fixes another problem people had: the current BG3 poly options completely cut off lesbians and straight men. Only bisexuals, straight women, or gay men can have a poly relationship in the game.
What I propose (or at least pretend to since no real changes will be made) is that Halsin and Minthara are the ones who suggest the poly thing (or more ideally, it’s a dialogue option for the PLAYER to choose, since many poly people said it’s weird to insert yourself into a couple rather than having the couple proposition you). This way the options can expand. You now have
Minthara and Laezel
Minthara and Wyll
Halsin and Laezel
Halsin and Wyll
I stumbled upon some threads in this rabbit hole where people were initially debating who they thought would be poly (before the game officially came out). The three most prominent answers were: Minthara, Laezel, and Astarion (though I should clarify that at this point, most players assumed Astarion’s hedonistic playboy persona was real and not an act). On the other hand, once the poly options were fully available and explored, most people were surprised (in a negative way) that Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach had been chosen. They felt that poly had been slapped on to sell more games, rather than carefully implemented to fit the story.
Now that I’ve established the alternative I believe should have happened, I can expand a little more on why what we got wasn’t satisfactory. (I’d like to add a note that I personally romanced Astarion the most, Karlach once, and Shadowheart never, so the evidence I go over will heavily lean to one side, unfortunately. There are other redditors who get into the Shadowheart debate in more detail than I could. I can link these below if anyone bothers to read this far and wants to see them.)
​

1. WHY THE CHARACTERS THE DEVELOPERS CHOSE TO MAKE POLY WEREN’T IDEAL

Karlach:
This is the most simple of the three. On the surface, I initially thought she would be a good idea for poly. She lets you sleep with the prostitutes in the brothel, she’s pretty blatant about her wants and needs, she’s touch starved, and she initially seems like she’d be fine with Halsin.
But there are two issues:
One, in the Halsin proposition dialogue, she outright states that she isn’t really cool with a poly relationship. (She says something along the lines of, “I’ll have to chew on that for a while. I’m not sure I want this right now and don’t think I ever will.”) So she’s very blatant in telling you that this isn’t what she wants, but she’ll tolerate it because she loves you. It’s easy to see why this would make poly people feel bad and wish for an alternative.
Now, this could be fixed by changing her dialogue to being super enthusiastic, but even if you did, you get problem two: She is dying. She has weeks left to live. You the player spend most of your day fighting enemies so you only have a few hours left to spend with your lover. No kind hearted partner, poly or otherwise, would waste those precious hours on a casual relationship with Halsin when they should be focusing entirely on Karlach. Halsin will still be around at the end of the game. To the player’s knowledge, Karlach won’t.
If she wasn’t dying, I would list her as a possible poly option. But because she only has a few weeks to live, she just can’t be. Her existence as one of the three poly options was what cemented the theory (in my mind) that the developers chose the most popular romance options, rather than the ideal ones.
Shadowheart:
Again, this was the one that some skeptical poly people said felt the most right in terms of presentation. She is enthusiastic about Halsin and the twins, she participates, and if you were to pick the most likely to be cool with it, she wins.
However, there are still a lot of issues with this choice (in terms of backstory, insecurities, reasons for poly, and treatment of monogamous players). Again, please bear in mind that this is the one romance I myself didn’t do so some facts may be off or vague.
Backstory: Her entire life up to this point has been erased. She was forced to do horrific things against her will (abusing her parents, being abused herself, torturing others, seducing people). She puts up a constant act of loving torture and being evil, but as you play through the game, you realize she doesn’t actually like harming people and she seeks genuine connections and love despite claiming she doesn’t. I didn’t fully appreciate her until I did an evil Dark Urge run because while my psychotic monk, dictator Minthara, and Ascended Astarion were killing people left and right, she continued to disapprove of our evil actions despite “choosing” Shar in the end. To a lesser extent than Astarion, she does lie to the player about her wishes and intentions, which is one of the criteria I went into earlier.
Insecurities: I didn’t see this myself but I read plenty of threads about how her confidence is also an act. She is one of the only characters to continually ask the player if their relationship is still ongoing and if they’re happy with her. Her dialogue throughout the romance seems to be leading to her preferring monogamy and complete loyalty, so it feels out of character when she suddenly switches at the end of her arc. (Can real life people do this? Sure. Is it a very strange and sometimes off-putting writing choice? Yes, especially because there are very few hints (if any) of her being poly throughout the romance.) This also links into my ‘communicating that a character is poly to the player’ problem from earlier.
Reasons for poly: This is what I personally had the most issue with. If you cheat on her with Mizora, she explains that she’s fine with poly and/or open relationships and asks that you communicate with her first. Fine. No issues there. The problem arises when she explains WHY she’s fine with open relationships. It’s because Lady Shar encouraged it in the cult she grew up in. You know, the cult that abused her and brainwashed her for years. The one she spent the entire game trying to escape. She continually tries to distance herself from both Shar and the practices she encouraged. She expresses disgust in the Act 3 section when talking about how she had to torture and seduce people. She could choose to be poly for herself after the fact, but players are allowed to be a little concerned that her main reason for being poly is directly a result of her abusive goddess’s teachings.
Similar to Astarion, it is possible for someone in Shadowheart’s position to be poly in real life. Everyone is different and reacts to things differently. However, from a writer and developer standpoint, it’s better to just leave her monogamous and avoid all these pitfalls. As we saw, even with her enthusiastic consent to Halsin and the twins, her backstory and character arc up to that point still left people doubtful and uncomfortable. Again, since there are much better options for poly characters, why choose Shadowheart?
My final point for Shadowheart was about how it treated monogamous players. This personally irked me and I feel like it was the worst way to introduce poly because it actively antagonizes monogamous players and ruins the experience for them. (Thankfully Karlach and Astarion’s poly romances didn’t seem to have this issue to such an obvious extent).
I’ll summarize what people experienced when romancing Shadowheart. In Act 3, Halsin asks you to start a poly relationship with Shadowheart. If you tell him, “No, I’m not interested” he says that’s fine and will move on. No problem there. The issue arises if you keep him in your party. Despite you rejecting him, he will proceed to flirt with Shadowheart instead, which makes him seem pushy and creepy (which you don’t want as a writer unless it’s intentional). This made things particularly uncomfortable for lesbian players, though I completely understand how it would make ANY monogamous player annoyed, regardless of gender or preference. What makes it worse is that Shadowheart will then flirt back with him. The game ignores any preferences or input from the player here and they can’t respond to it. This bothered me, since the game up to that point seemed to at least respect the fact that mono players exist and want to have a romance that suits them.
But you could argue it was just a bug/forgetting to flag dialogue correctly. I could accept that, until you take both Shadowheart and Halsin to the brothel. Not only will Halsin invite himself in a third time after being rejected, but Shadowheart will say she’s dreamed of having sex with him before the player can even accept or reject Halsin’s suggestion. Most people would rightfully get angry when their romantic partner mentions wanting to sleep with one of their friends. From a writer’s standpoint, this is just disrespectful to the player’s choices and has zero reason to be this way. I’m not sure how such a mistake was made and why it hasn’t been rectified, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t at least lock that section behind the poly romance. It’s a fine scene if you HAVE agreed to date Halsin, but the existence of poly relationships shouldn’t completely ruin the experience for monogamous players. The writers should have tried to view these interactions from both perspectives, rather than simply one side or the other. And again, because the writers failed to communicate Shadowheart’s preferences early on, no one encountered this until they were three acts in and invested.
[There's a character limit so I'll have to do a part 2 to finish the Astarion points and discuss Halsin.]

I 19 female, I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years with John (fake name) 19 male. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 16. For context, John and I met in a group and since then we started talking. (I was dating my ex, but when I realized that I had developed feelings for John I ended that relationship.) In this group he was a big womanizer, and he talked to his ex, which didn't bother me since I never thought there was anything malicious about it. 4 months later I asked John if he felt anything for me, because he was acting romantic and sweet toward me, he said yes and then we started dating. (Note: he was jealous of my friends). A few weeks after we started dating, and all of our mutual friends knew about our relationship, and he didn't feel uncomfortable with people knowing about it, I sent him Intimate photos, he went on and sent these photos to our group, where there were more than 100 people, including our friends. When I saw it I was shocked and immediately left the group. My friends came to talk to me and so did he. He apologized, said he was going to send these photos to a group that was just him because according to him it was easier for him to see. Reading this now I realize it's a strange thing... but at the time I was so in love that I excused him. That same day we made a video call until I went to sleep, he praised me a lot, dedicated some songs to me, it was very romantic.During the next few weeks we made video calls every day, watched movies, listened to music, talked a lot until the early hours of the morning. There was a day when a girl joined the group where we were, and she and I became very good friends, there ended up being a lot of confusion because she wanted to date John, but he didn't want to. However, he always asked for intimate photos for her or for another girl in the group, he said it was to make me jealous, he ended up sending some intimate photos to her too. Well, a few months passed and I was suffering with my mental health, a few months before I met him I had tried to take my life, and I was under psychiatric care. During that time I started smoking and hurting myself, but he always helped me not to do so and always asked me to stop smoking and never use drugs. Until one day I was having an anxiety attack and felt the need to hurt myself while I was on a call with him, so he asked me to write his name on my skin with the razor. I did, he laughed. Some more time passed and I experienced what I think was an attack of schizophrenia, I saw and heard a person talking to me and asking me to do certain things that would hurt me. John stayed on video call with me while he tried to calm me down and said everything was ok and asked me to pray. That day my mother had gone to work, so I was alone at home, she wouldn't come back until 1pm. A few months later he asked me to buy some sex toys, I initially refused and was a little afraid, but then I agreed and bought my first vibrator. He always asked for videos and photos, or even for me to use the vibrator on a video call, as he always sent photos and videos and even did things on a call, I accepted. It turned out that I got sick, I couldn't walk, I felt a lot of pain, very strong cramps, I went to the hospital but it didn't help. I took some medication but none of it helped. Jonh was worried about me and asked me to go back to the hospital, which I did, but once again it didn't do much good. Then in December he asked me to buy another toy, but this time it would be a dildo. I was very afraid to buy it since I didn't have much privacy at home, but I bought it. When it arrived, he asked me to use it but I said I wasn't going to use it at that moment because I wanted to wash it first and then use it but my mother was in the living room so there was no way. He was extremely upset, he said that I had promised to use it the day I arrived and that he was tired from work and just wanted it to cheer him up a little. We argued a little and went to sleep.Cut to a few months later when he got a new job (he worked with his father), met some new people and completely changed. He became cold, distant, wanted everything his way or he would get upset and give me the silent treatment. Since then we started fighting almost every day, sometimes several times during the day. He always said he would break up with me if I didn't do what he wanted or the way he wanted, as I was "blind", so to speak, I always did everything. I don't want to go into too much detail but this but one thing you need to know is that during one of those fights he told me "welcome to hell". Since then everything has gotten worse. For me to achieve the minimum I had to do everything he wanted, how he wanted and when he wanted, in his time. If he wanted videos, I had to record them and send them to him, otherwise he He said he was going to break up with me or that he wouldn't talk to me until I sent the videos. I'm not a saint either, I often freaked out because of jealousy and when I saw that he had followed his ex I got really upset, because she was the only one who made me insecure, and he knew that. One thing I forgot to mention was that he told me at the beginning that he only followed some friends and family (he told me who was who and that if I wanted I could remove someone). Another thing I forgot to mention was that he's been in a group for a few years where his friends who are in that group always hit on him, he's kind of reciprocal with them. He never let me go there because according to him I wouldn't like the type of humor they have there... a group that sends a lot of videos and photos of naked women, women dancing.. But he refuses to leave because he "is already a long-time member there, and his friends are there", in his words. Coming back, he told me that he only followed her because she followed him first and I told him that if she followed him it was because he unblocked her, he was upset that I said that and blocked her again. Some time later I returned to the hospital with some urgency as I was unable to cope with the pain, I needed to stay there overnight whilst receiving medication. He wasn't happy about it at all since that meant there would be no videos or photos. The doctors asked me to do some tests as quickly as possible to try to find out the cause of this pain, which they thought was the kidneys (but it wasn't).This meant I had to leave the house and go to the clinics to schedule exams and take them. He was never happy when I needed to leave the house or when I went out with my family. Cut to a time later when we broke up (my initiative) and I put all the toys in the trash. He was super upset and we kind of talked back and forth (I know what many off you will think But I couldn't really break up with him. So he made me buy all the toys again. That is what happened. Well, I bought not only the toys but also some lingerie. He really liked that and it seemed like we were finally okay. But it didn't last long. Soon we fought again and broke up, once again I put everything in the trash, he came back, he forced me again Buying but he was the one who bought the things. He continued to force me to record the videos and send them to him. During this time of ending the relationship and coming back, ending the relationship and coming back, I called his friends to ask for help. John was super upset with this attitude of mine. He told me that I made a mistake and broke his trust. Then time passed and he went on a trip with his family when he returned home, it was on a day when there was a party in his city and his friends were going. When he got home he told me and said he was going to sleep. I was suspicious so I went to look at his friend's profile and guess what? His friend had just post a story where John appeared. Same t-shirt, same cap. The same face. Obviously I confronted him about it and he told me it wasn't him because he was sleeping at home. I didn't believe it but leave it behind. At this point, my best friend couldn't take it anymore, almost every day of me crying to her about John and his actions. A few weeks went by and I asked his friend if it was really John or not, he said no (I believe he was covering it up.So he went to get a tattoo, on his neck. When it was over he went to sleep. I don't remember that day well but I remember that I called him many times that night and when he answered I heard moaning.. so I hung up and told my best friend. I called again and again and when he answered I heard the sound of a car. I was devastated, I couldn't believe it. The next morning he freaked out at me, and said he was sleeping. First he said that his mother had answered the phone, then he said that he had answered the phone and that the moans were his because of the tattoo. I pretended this situation hadn't happened and we moved on. (note: I was emotionally dependent on him) Cut to January of this year, when he asked me to open up the relationship as this wasn't working. I said no, and that in my view it was like cheating but without the burden of conscience. So he continued to treat me badly. He admitted that when he first started treating me badly it was only because he wanted me to break up with him. (he thought traumatizing me and triggering me was a good idea) He told me he didn't want me to see his Facebook so I wouldn't see his relatives' profiles. When I asked about some people he followed that he had already said were cousins, he said that they were friends or that he didn't know that his friends had asked him to follow them and sending messages to them. When I followed someone he always freaked out and asked who he was over and over again, for example: I followed someone, John saw it and sent me a message asking who it was, I replied "he's a friend of mine" Then John would go on "who is he?" and again "who is he?" and again and again... Two months ago he said he wanted some time, I said very badly, he said it could be but that we wouldn't be with other people nor would there be flirting with other people. He agreed. But then we got into a big fight where he threatened me with a lawsuit, he didn't give me reasons or anything, he just said he was going to sue me. I insisted on knowing why he only said he was going to have to pay him a high price and I would probably go to prison. So for the next 3 days this was our topic of conversation, him threatening me, me crying, and asking why. Then I reached my limit On the day of the last lawsuit threat, I told my mother about him, the way he treated me and that I wanted a new cell phone number.(She didn't know, I never told her about him. Although he tried to contact her a few times. But I blocked him) So we went to buy a new contact for me, as he couldn't call me or get in touch with me anywhere. He asked some people to call my mother and my friends. My friends were talking to me and sending me screenshots of everything, so someone sent him the link to our group and he went in there and found out my new number. I was weakened when my friend told me that he was crying and that he told him that he loved me and that he was afraid of losing me. So I said okay I could talk to him. He told me some things like that he was sorry for making me suffer. I tried to understand his side. We came back. But I told him that the first thing he did I would leave. I did not go. And I regret it. He was never affectionate, or cute with me again. He continued to force me to send him photos and videos. And doing what he wanted. He was upset when I left. He didn't like me posting full body photos or showing more. Whereas he could go around shirtless, send shirtless photos to his group, post shirtless photos online. Once he published a photo of a photo with his cousin and hid it from me so I wouldn't see it (I knew he was going to this party, he had told me, it was a family party) Since then, I went to lawyers to ask for advice. One of the people I managed to talk to, as it was online and free, told me to contact the police and that what he was doing was wrong. Every time I ask him something he gets upset and says they are useless questions, that I'm stupid, I don't understand anything. Whenever he forces me to record something, he never sends anything. He always says he's tired, But if his friends ask him to go out or go to dinner or do anything, he'll go, even if he's tired. This is it. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really afraid that he'll do something, after so many threats, and all the lies. I have the support of my family and friends. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, I used the translator and tried to explain more or less all the information you should know. Please be friendly.

When solving a mystery, one has to make some assumptions if one wishes to go beyond a surface level solve attempt of From's mystery. Which effectively means, one must pick an answer to a clue one is fairly certain of, and use that as one might use a jigsaw piece to solve the next clue that connects to it.
For any interested, I share my opinion on what the key strands of clue clusters and the twisted threads therein that I believe need to be woven together into a narrative to form an origin story for Fromland and solve the show.
1. The first strand is historical figures from North American history (and the end of the War of the Roses), falling roughly on the dates on Tabitha's dream sequence. Some historical figures are given far more clues than others, suggesting they might later become characters on the show. In particular Caroline Dye's hoodoo magic, and Alma Hayes the strongwoman.
There are six threads in there as not every timeline will be explored in the series - the main ones are 1930s, 1880s, 1860s, 1770s, 1670s, and 1498.
1498 is by far the most prevalent and perhaps the easiest to start with. Most are from England and to a lesser extent, Italy/Venice, Scotland, Germany, Portugal, Spain, France, Burgundy, China, Iran, Iceland, Greenland/Newfoundland. It's also the best one to solve first, as the historical figures in the 1498 origin story are the archetypes that the historical figures in the other timelines mimic.
For example, I'm absolutely certain one is Richard Amerike - Sheriff of Bristol. There is a lawman/sheriff in every timeline - Boyd is the sheriff now.
Each new historical figure discovered in any timeline is a great puzzle piece. If you find out Emmett Kelly, the Hobo Clown is in the 1930s timeline, you can search for other "clowns" and discover Triboulet, the court jester in the 1498 origin story.
2. The second strand is the sequence of events in the origin story specifically. These clues are far more vague, and easier to explain what I mean by example.
Let's look at Kelly's head spiked to a tree with Boyd yanking it out instead of using the gun. The reasoning was: Kristi did not want Kelly to see or experience the gun, when Kelly is currently blind and the gun is a far better "experience" than the yanking. I contend this is quite a pointed clue that he's recreating a scene in the original timeline. In my opinion, a botched execution by a crossbow at a time where there were no guns to use.
There are threads within this strand. Two are practically strands of their own, with witch trial and torture methods and christmas / lent traditions from the countries of the various historical figures being the most prevalent. The traditions bit is a lot easier if you solve the origin story characters first, since you can then surmise which countries the traditions to look out for might come from.
3. The third strand is the mythology of the show. Ultimately, if one assumes North East Canada is where it all begins, you might make the leap it relates to the mythology related to that area. This has two main threads, the bogeyman, and the fairies. What I came to find were, there were clues pointing to practically every kind of bogeyman and fairy legend in that region. I was wondering if these were red herrings, or maybe it was all of them at once? It took me a long time to figure out what we're being asked to do here - but I figure there are 7 bogeymen and 4 fairy types the monsters and entity are mimicking, and a type of bogeyman and fairy that they really are.
4. Apotropaic magic - specific to the cunning folk of England. Witch's bottles and ladders, that sort of thing.
5. Medieval board and card games, as well as a few other adult medieval games, like stoolball. Main thread here is French tarot cards, but not their witchy meanings and connection to fortune telling, just the playing cards and what they look like. Other substantial threads involve Game of Goose and Pachisi.

(Sorry for the bad grammar)
I rarely or never post on here but I was curious about it and started looking through other posts.
I myself am going through a "break up" or if you would even call it that in this situation.
I (M16) and (F16) were dating for about 6 months or so. Yes I know I'm young and shouldn't even be dating yet alone talking about it on this platform but even so it hurt. Quite alot actually.
We met online.
We would get along so well. Or at least I thought we did. We had our dumb arguments every now and then but nothing to extreme. We communicated very well. I thought I found someone that would actually take this relationship seriously and maybe I would even see a life with her by my side.
Last Saturday was the last day I would talk to her.
In the morning we talked just like normal. She told me what she did that day but what caught my eye the most was that she made new friends along the way. I didn't know who they were so I shrugged it off and was happy for her. We didn't talk the next few hours because she was hanging out with her new friends.
Later that day at 12am. I asked if we could hang out. Thinking that she may have some time on her hands since its getting late.
The next minute later, she blocked me. On everything. I was panicking so much. I tried calling out to friends to see if they could get into contact with her or something, anything.
They got Nothing. Just silence.
Everything was gone. She blocked me on everything. I thought the worse.
I was proven right. She just packed up and left. No explanation, No heads up. She's gone. And I can't do shit about it.
I've checked her social media's and I was blocked on there too. I went to ask her best friend to see what was up and leading up to everything I said she told me she just completely dumped me. Without saying a word. Now I see her with some other group. Mostly guys.
Where do I go from here? Who do I talk to? If anything I hope she's happy.
Her best friend said that she had done the exact same thing with her ex as well. He eventually gave up on her for chasing her for so long.
I thought I knew her. And now I'm left with no answers. I'm left the memories.
Any advice/opinions would be awesome. I would love to hear another perspective on this.
Also, I'm sorry if that whole story is a mess. I have left some details out bec it would've gone on way too long. So this was just a quick summary.

Quick question since I can't find the answer online: did they remove the fire resist potion? I can't find it anywhere.

Race Information

• Name: ING Night Marathon Luxembourg
• Date: May 11, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Luxembourg
• Website: https://www.ing-night-marathon.lu/en.html
• Strava: N/A
• Time: 4:00:48

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	PB	No
B	3:45	No
C	Don't hit the wall	No
D	Nail fueling	No

Splits

Mile	Time
1	8:32
2	8:33
3	8:37
4	8:42
5	8:37
6	8:29
7	8:27
8	8:22
9	8:22
10	8:26
11	8:04
12	8:19
13	8:21
14	8:22
15	8:15
16	8:47
17	9:25
18	9:22
19	9:38
20	11:08
21	9:33
22	9:38
23	9:12
24	10:17
25	10:49
26	10:08
26.68	6:14

My first post after following this sub for awhile and getting some great information. I'm a 34F who has been a lifelong runner, but not that serious until I decided I wanted to reach some half marathon goals in 2023. I read 80/20 Running and adopted the method with great success, meeting my goal of sub 1:45 in the half and then another PB of 1:43 during the training cycle for this marathon. I have run 2 marathons previously, both virtual due to the pandemic, and followed generic online plans based on distance and pace but not heart rate.

Training

I really have enjoyed the 80/20 method so I used the Marathon Level 2 18 Week training plan from Matt Fitzgerald's book. Stepping up to running 6-7 days a week consistently was daunting, but I found myself getting into a really good routine with it. I'm not really an early morning person, so most of my workouts were in the late mornings/afternoons. I generally feel the best when I workout in the afternoons, so I figured that the marathon being in the evening would actually work well for me. I only missed 7 workouts over the whole training cycle (mostly recovery runs and a few speed runs), and modified another 7 of them due to tune-up races or travel. I did a bit of strength training in the beginning of my training plan, usually 20 minute full body dumbbell sessions, but stopped those I would say around 1/3 - 1/2 of the way through the plan as the runs got longer and I had less time to add strength training on top. I had a 16 mile marathon simulator run at week 15 that went great -- my target MP was 8:32, and I averaged 8:05 during the simulator. Weather was 40s and rainy, and there were hills on this route. Overall I felt my training was leading me towards meeting my B goal, and at least beating my old marathon PB of 3:59 that I ran with less focused training.

Pre-Race

I focused on carb-loading the few days before the race, and headed to Luxembourg on Friday to settle in the day before. Since this is a night race that starts at 7pm, I decided to do my shakeout run that morning, and in the afternoon I had a nap to really relax and be prepped for the night race.

Race

I got to the venue 2+ hours before the start as recommended, and stayed out of the sun while waiting for the start. The sun didn't go down until about 9pm, so for the first half of the race conditions were sunny and temps in the 70s. Unfortunately they start the half marathon and marathon all together so the race was quite crowded, and I did spend a good amount of time weaving to make sure I could still keep my pace plan. The course is quite fun, running through lots of Luxembourg downtown, parks, and residential areas with people all over the course cheering you on. There are a lot of DJs with music set up and flashing lights, so it's a party atmosphere. I stuck to my fuel plan for about the first half of the race, having a gel every 25 minutes. As you can see from my splits, I felt pretty great until about mile 17. Cardiovascularly I felt fine, and looking at my heart rate zones I stayed in Zone 2 and 3 most of the time. What really hurt were my quads. It was a soreness I really had to push to overcome, and ultimately couldn't keep up with my goal mile paces. I couldn't believe it, but I drank my whole 1.5L hydration vest about 3 hours in! I stopped taking my gels because the thought of putting more flavored sugar in my mouth was very unappealing. My stomach wasn't upset at all, but I really craved cool water to rinse my mouth out. I have never had that feeling in my mouth during training, but I usually don't have that many gels during my long runs. During long runs I had a gel about every 45 minutes. I was really trying to push the last few miles to make sure I left it all on the course, and my official time is 4:00:48. I know virtual races are no comparison, but one positive is you get to stop running right at 26.2! I already knew this course was a bit longer, with the planned route on my Garmin at 26.38, but I ended up running 26.68.

Post-Race

Of course I was disappointed post-race. I really thought my training supported a better time. I was wondering if I really gave it my all, but on the tram ride back to my Air BnB I felt lightheaded and my quads were just killing me so I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. It was sometime past midnight when I got back to my AirBnB, and with my appetite kicking in I got some dumplings from an Asian spot and crashed!
I thought of a few reasons why I didn't hit my goal: the warm beginning to the race when most of my training has been in cooler temps; the hills on the course, especially since the last few miles are uphill; and lack of strengh training throughout the full training cycle to build stronger quads. Reading through my race report I'm wondering if the hot start to the race was really the prime factor, or if that's more of an easy excuse.
Anyway I'm wondering if I should repeat this plan for a fall marathon or if maybe cutting back the running days and adding a dedicated strength day would be better?
Thanks for all the great advice on this sub! Did anyone else run this one?
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

I'm trying to build an enclosure for 2 vampire crabs in a 20inx10inchx10inch Tank. I'm pretty confident about everything except how I'm supposed to keep the water clean? I'm seeing a lot of conflicting answers online and I'm not sure how to proceed for my set up.

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I’m on a medical hiatus from s3xual relationships and tbh a general hiatus from dating, period.
I was recently seeing a guy for a little over a month. In the beginning I kept my expectations pretty mild, just nice to hang out with someone, hookup, be lowkey about things. He told me he eventually wanted to start a family with someone, but was cool with taking it slow. Great. Slow and steady wins the race lol. But we did have quite the connection in person. So one thing led to another and we hooked up. Nbd. We had been talking for a few weeks and I didn’t see any red flags (I thought).
I tend to only have one s3xual partner at a time bc people with female genitalia are just more susceptible to all kinds of junk (STIs, UTIs, BV, etc). Just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Well we had s3x a handful of times and instead of talking about it beforehand like I normally do, I asked him if he was having s3x with any other people. He said yes. I said how many? He didn’t answer. I asked again he said 4. Now, I am not one to judge, but 5 s3xual partners is too many not to mention... he said he views it all as "dating". He then went into how badly he wanted to find his future wife and mother of his children and I just sat there in disbelief lol.
I asked him the last time he was tested. He said he couldn’t remember. I said he needed to go get tested ASAP. He said ok. I watched him schedule an appointment online for the next day. I check in with him a day later asking how it went because I also went and got tested. He said he didn’t go. I asked why. No response. I call him and demand he go. If not I’m pulling up at his crib and dragging him there cuz wtf lol? He did end up going (I have tangible proof😮‍💨) Well we both tested negative for STIs, but I started having some discomfort while peeing and was told I have a confirmed UTI AND Bacterial vaginosis. He later admitted to not being sure if he’d ever been tested. Then made the joke “shit i don’t even remember the last time i brushed my teeth😂”. I once again was so shook… I hit him with the “not you. you can choke,” meme from Flavor of Love and blocked him lol.
Lesson learned: DONT LET GOOD S3X KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR GAME. Shit could’ve been way worse… all because I decided to get lazy. What an idiot 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

Hi All,
I have recently purchased a DJI Mini 4 and did some shooting over the weekend.
I have spent the day/evening editing the footage. Initially I had no issues whatsoever with the editing process, everything was going smoothly no issues with playback or anything.
I encountered my problem when trying to export the footage.
The exported MP4 file is choppy, it just jerks and playbacks more like a slideshow. This is very frustrating and I have tried a few workarounds unsuccessfully.
I shot the footage 4k, 59.94fps, H.265.
The initial sequence settings were 4k 25fps - I tried to export it 4k, 25fps H.265 then H.264.
Then I made a new sequence 4k 59.94fps - I tried to export it 59.94fps H.265 then H.264.
I've tried exporting it as a quicktime MOV file, no joy.
On edit on an IMAC, plenty of power. My Premier is up to date. Will not play in VLC or Quicktime.
This is driving me nuts and I really hope someone out there has the answers because I can find any support anywhere else online.
I hope this post makes sense btw.

Hi All,
I have recently purchased a DJI Mini 4 and did some shooting over the weekend.
I have spent the day/evening editing the footage. Initially I had no issues whatsoever with the editing process, everything was going smoothly no issues with playback or anything.
I encountered my problem when trying to export the footage.
The exported MP4 file is choppy, it just jerks and playbacks more like a slideshow. This is very frustrating and I have tried a few workarounds unsuccessfully.
I shot the footage 4k, 59.94fps, H.265.
The initial sequence settings were 4k 25fps - I tried to export it 4k, 25fps H.265 then H.264.
Then I made a new sequence 4k 59.94fps - I tried to export it 59.94fps H.265 then H.264.
I've tried exporting it as a quicktime MOV file, no joy.
On edit on an IMAC, plenty of power. My Premier is up to date. Will not play in VLC or Quicktime.
This is driving me nuts and I really hope someone out there has the answers because I can find any support anywhere else online.
I hope this post makes sense btw.

Hi All,
I have recently purchased a DJI Mini 4 and did some shooting over the weekend.
I have spent the day/evening editing the footage. Initially I had no issues whatsoever with the editing process, everything was going smoothly no issues with playback or anything.
I encountered my problem when trying to export the footage.
The exported MP4 file is choppy, it just jerks and playbacks more like a slideshow. This is very frustrating and I have tried a few workarounds unsuccessfully.
I shot the footage 4k, 59.94fps, H.265.
The initial sequence settings were 4k 25fps - I tried to export it 4k, 25fps H.265 then H.264.
Then I made a new sequence 4k 59.94fps - I tried to export it 59.94fps H.265 then H.264.
I've tried exporting it as a quicktime MOV file, no joy.
On edit on an IMAC, plenty of power. My Premier is up to date. Will not play in VLC or Quicktime.
This is driving me nuts and I really hope someone out there has the answers because I can find any support anywhere else online.
I hope this post makes sense btw.

I've had a pretty hard youth all the way to young adult hood, primarily because of my family from both sides as well as my individual challenges in life battling loneliness and being the "odd one out" as I personally feel among others. I do love my family a lot, and they love me as well... but let's just say that my mind is more at ease and feel way more relaxed when I'm not with them, lately especially at home.
I basically had to raise myself up to become an independent adult instead of my parents, which also applies to learning this beautiful religion entirely on my own. I've been learning more and more and try to break this social anxiety I have meeting with other young shias. Basically wanting to become a better Muslim, woman and of course a better human overall in Allah's swt name, as my way of worshipping him and my obedience to him.
There's however a dua (pretty specific but incredibly huge for me) I desperately wanting to get accepted and answered in the near future. It didn't happen now, but I know it's because it was a new chapter in life I wasn't ready for. And I thank Allah swt everyday for that cause I'm now fully aware and motivated that I need to improve myself more in knowledge and experience, in order for the chances to increase so Allah swt sees my intentions and efforts and inshallah grants me what I want. Having patience is what I'm currently learning and accepting right now.
But I'm so scared that this Dua I so much want to become true, for my own good and to finally achieve happiness from it, will somehow not come true. I've heard many stories online and in real life how duas weren't accepted by Allah swt even if they were harmless, realistic to achieve and completely halal. I cry everyday, talking to Allah, begging that I don't want anything in life but to make this Dua come true. Becoming so incredibly vulnerable and desperate, to the point where I just think to myself "Allah swt doesn't burden a soul more than he can take... but i feel like I'm reaching my limit and want something I really wish to have...for once." I know I know... I shouldn't doubt in Allah's mercy and love for me (for all of us Muslims).
But surely... it would be quite brutal to not have my deepest wish and halal desire not to be fulfilled right (?) I'm so lost and I beg and beg Allah swt to grant me this Dua, and to make it happen I'll change my way of life as a Muslim completely. Cause there's absolutely no other wordly wish or desire I have other than this. That's the only exchange for it to happen...
I just hope Allah swt grants me this Dua to into fruitation, that's all I want... I'll have sabr... I won't underestimate Allah swt his Mercy and love for me. I just hope my next years, hell or months, won't be more agony and difficulties like I've been living for more than a decade. I've already been through a lot. I don't want to experience the hardships every single one of my family members (especially the women) as well, always drama, fights and just so much negative energy that it's taking a toll on me, and I don't even involve myself so imagine if I did. I can't imagine to go through such difficulties, that would just not only break my heart or spirit, but also my soul...I just want to be happy and content in my next stage of life.
That's all. I just had to rant a bit and pour out my heart, especially since I'm crying right now as I'm typing this. I've become too desperate at this point as you can tell. But I have nobody I can share this with safely so yeah... :')

DISCLAIMER: I am a teenager. It is just my opinion. Obviously if you are an adult, I’m not going to be as experienced in this genre as you so please keep that in mind when you comment. Also, there are some remakes of classic horror films on here. I only put one version of each movie on the list. However, I have most likely seen both versions. Keep this in mind as well. I do want suggestions, so suggest down below. Ask me why I put this movie there, I'll answer.

1. Promising Young Woman (2020)
2. Talk To Me (2023)
3. Fresh (2022)
4. Don’t Worry Darling (2022)
5. Death Note (2017)
6. Saltburn (2023)
7. Beau Is Afraid (2023)
8. Hereditary (2018)
9. I’m Thinking of Ending Things (2020)
10. The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)
11. Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
12. Pearl (2022)
13. The Babysitter (2017)
14. Glass (2019)
15. Joker (2019)
16. Late Night With the Devil (2024)
17. Cheap Thrills (2013)
18. Vivarium (2019)
19. Split (2017)
20. Spree (2020)
21. The Platform (2019)
22. IT CHAPTER TWO (2019)
23. Sorry To Bother You (2018)
24. White Noise (2022)
25. Creep 2 (2017)
26. Creep (2015)
27. IT (2017)
28. Circle (2015)
29. The Black Phone (2021)
30. The Belko Experiment (2017)
31. Saw X (2023)
32. Dream Scenario (2023)
33. Civil War (2024)
34. Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)
35. Mom and Dad (2017)
36. Poor Things (2023)
37. The Lobster (2016)
38. The Florida Project (2017)
39. The Final (2010)
40. Thanksgiving (2023)
41. Exam (2009)
42. Bird Box Barcelona (2023)
43. Who Invited Them (2022)
44. Bird Box (2018)
45. Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)
46. mother! (2017)
47. The House That Jack Built (2018)
48. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
49. Eighth Grade (2018)
50. Ma (2019)
51. First Reformed (2017)
52. Black Swan (2010)
53. Ready Or Not (2019)
54. Would You Rather (2013)
55. Terrifier (2018)
56. Saw IV (2007)
57. Coraline (2009)
58. Cam (2018)
59. 9 (2009)
60. Triangle (2009)
61. Saw V (2008)
62. Happy Death Day 2U (2019)
63. Happy Death Day (2017)
64. Evil Dead Rise (2023)
65. Terrifier 2 (2022)
66. The Loved Ones (2009)
67. 13 Sins (2014)
68. Fear Street Part 1: 1994 (2021)
69. The Forever Purge (2021)
70. Scream 4 (2011)
71. The Purge: Election Year (2016)
72. The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
73. The Purge (2013)
74. The Gift (2015)
75. Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
76. Scream 6 (2023)
77. The Truman Show (1998)
78. Synecdoche, New York (2008)
79. Scream 2 (1997)
80. Scream 3 (2000)
81. Priscilla (2023)
82. Unfriended (2014)
83. American Psycho (2000)
84. Scream (1996)
85. Infinity Pool (2023)
86. M3gan (2023)
87. Truth Or Dare? (2018)
88. Smile (2022)
89. Se7en (1995)
90. Blue Velvet (1986)
91. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
92. Saw II (2005)
93. Saw III (2006)
94. Cube (1997)
95. Saw (2004)
96. Doctor Sleep (2019)
97. The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
98. Donnie Darko (2001)
99. Orphan: First Kill (2022)
100. Orphan (2009)
101. Girl In the Shed: The Kidnapping of Abby Hernandez (2021)
102. The Shining (1980)
103. Arrival (2016)
104. Barbarian (2022)
105. Us (2019)
106. The Exorcist (1973)
107. Halloween (2018)
108. Halloween Kills (2021)
109. It Follows (2015)
110. Nope (2022)
111. X (2022)
112. The Babadook (2014)
113. Ex Machina (2015)
114. Five Nights At Freddy’s (2023)
115. A Haunting In Venice (2023)
116. Carrie (2013)
117. Beetlejuice (1988)
118. Hocus Pocus (1993)
119. Escape Room (2019)
120. The Menu (2022)
121. Scary Movie (2000)
122. Fear, Inc. (2016)
123. The Cabin In the Woods (2011)
124. Malignant (2021)
125. Blue Ruin (2013)
126. Boy Kills World (2024)
127. The Reverent (2015)
128. Midsommar (2019)
129. The Night House (2020)
130. Melancholia (2011)
131. Imaginary (2024)
132. Bite (2015)
133. Cujo (1983)
134. Get Out (2017)
135. Scream 5 (2020)
136. A Dark Song (2016)
137. Signs (2008)
138. The Nun II (2023)
139. The First Purge (2018)
140. The Village (2004)
141. Ouija (2014)
142. Abigail (2024)
143. Evil Dead (2013)
144. Night Swim (2024)
145. Scary Movie 2 (2001)
146. The Conjuring (2013)
147. The Nun (2018)
148. Saw VI (2009)
149. Saw VII (2010)
150. Sleepy Hollow (1999)
151. Sasquatch Sunset (2024)
152. Monkey Man (2024)
153. Fear Street Part 2: 1978 (2021)
154. Tusk (2014)
155. A Quiet Place (2018)
156. Scary Movie 3 (2003)
157. Unbreakable (2000)
158. Fear Street Part 3: 1666 (2021)