Egret has often been asked what it feels like to be in a jet while it crashes. She has never been able to answer that question until now. There was definitely panic, but also a lot of anger. One of her claws was desperately trying to keep her eagle jet level, the other was battling with the jammed eject throttle. She looked back at her jet to assess the damage. “By Cavora!” She cursed under her breath seeing that two-thirds of her wing had been sheared off. Her earpiece crackled to life as Eswald screamed. “Egret! EJECT! EGRET EJECT NOW!” The fear in his voice caused Egret’s own panic to rise exponentially. Her silvery feathers were all sticking up as the adrenaline and epinephrine levels in her small body rose.
“I CAN’T IT IS STUCK!!” Egret shouted back over the earpiece as she let go of the yoke entirely to tug on the eject throttle, but it wouldn't budge at all. She screamed in horror as the panic rose within her. “EGRE—” Her earpiece cut out. Both claws went back to the yoke as her jet started to do uncontrollable aileron rolls. She put all her strength into trying to regain control as alarms started to blare.
Her face lit up as the wind sheer, overspeed, bank angle, stall, engine fire, and GPWS blared their warnings and lit up all over the cockpit control boards. “I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!” She cried, tears starting to form in her eyes as she desperately battled to level out her jet.
Her efforts did not prove fruitless as she managed to pull the plain into a hard but controlled dive. Her altitude warning started to go off, warning her that she was. “600 meters”
Her adrenaline levels were now off the charts, all the blaring and stimulation faded into the background as she stared at the now rapidly approaching body of water that she was hurtling towards at almost 2,000 kilometers per hour. “500” the soulless robotic voice informed Egret.
Not wanting to give up, Egret continued to pull up on the yoke, cursing under her breath. “400… 300… 200… ALTITUDE! PULL UP!” The warning screamed at her as she dropped beneath 100 meters to the ocean beneath her.
Her voice got very squeaky and high pitched, like that of a new hatchling as she launched into a quick prayer, her words slurring together. “Oh great eagle beast, please provide me with protection. May the lifeblood of chi sustain me in my time of need. And may the sky above give my soul freedom in the event of my death.”
“30.. 20.. 15… PULL UP! TOO LOW! PULL UP! WARNING OVERSPEED! WARNING OVERSPEED! WINDSHEER! STALL STALL!” All the alarms screamed at her as she let go of the yoke one last time and braced for impact. All the sounds and panic left her as she processed the water rising to meet her jet.
She expected to die on impact, but instead everything slowed down to an almost complete stop as she felt her jet bounce off the water's surface. She felt her body be thrown against her restraints and the speed of the jet start to spin vertically up. Anything not bolted down was floating in the air around her as the jet’s cockpit started to roll up towards the sky.
She was thrown sideways and forwards when the jet started another spin, she felt her left arm slide out of her socket as she slammed against her chair. She was jerked hard to the left as the jet’s other wing hit the water forcing a sideways roll. Her head collided hard with the hard metal sides and she immediately lost all conscious thought.
Egret coughed up a lot of blood and some fleshy chunks. In a panic she inhales and gets a lungful of water. Now hacking that up, with more blood, she started to panic. She fiddled with her still strapped harness and got it undone. She could feel the fear of death building in her as tears started to form in her eyes.
The jet groaned as it continued to sink down. Egret grabbed the hatch release and pulled it as hard as she could and kicked at her shattered but still intact windshield. Her movements sluggish and uncoordinated, her ankle bent at a very unnatural angle every time it collided with the cockpit hatch.
She screamed, her will to live surged through her as she gave one last kick and the hatch popped open and shattered. Egret started to push her way to the surface, every movement caused enough pain for her to almost black out. Her lungs screamed for oxygen as she approached the surface. She broke it and took a breath of fresh air. Oxygen never tasted sweeter. She then started hacking out all of the seawater she had inhaled, causing the water around her to turn into an off-red from the mix of blood and bile in it.
“Thank the beasts.” She sighed as she saw the shore wasn’t far from her. She slowly but strongly made her way to the warm sands. All the adrenaline and energy leaving her. Her body collapsed and turned her head to the sky as she passed out from exhaustion and exertion.

I’m begging, as I can already see it happening in other threads I’ve tried to post this too; to not do what my doctor is doing to me and just say “sounds like you have the sad or the worried” I’ve been suffering for years and this isn’t funny, I’ve been on antidepressants and anti anxiety medication, along with sleep medication because I go days at a time unable to rest, I have a range of symptoms ranging from severe abdominal pain, pain in my bladder while urinating, vomiting, dizziness and fainting, my fingers are physically cold to the touch to the extent they hurt they change color often. Aches and pains all throughout my body, severe lethargy, unable to breathe through my nose due to swelling that is nearly omnipresent.
I’ve had screenings for almost everything, kidneys, thyroid, liver, stool samples, urine, etc, at this point my doctor has chalked it up to being part of my mental health.
However, my mother and I are celebrating Mother’s Day late, I’m not a drinker, but I bought her some wine she loves.
After sitting down and having a single drink, no more than 6oz, almost all my symptoms are completely gone… I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and have no plan to drink as treatment, but I was hoping someone would have an idea so I can get through this without suffering every day.
As additional context I drink incredibly rarely, I’ve been suffering with these more severe symptoms for 2 years now, but I’ve had issues with nausea, fainting, headaches and body pain since I was a child. this is my first drink during those two years time while symptoms have advanced.
At 6ft and 160 lbs and no prior drinking, I imagine my tolerance is fairly low but I don’t feel any of the buzzy or intoxicated feelings… in fact I feel the most mentally clear I have in months, my mother even noting after I caught multiple things falling that my reaction time was better, she told me I even looked like my balance was better.
Both her and I have been sitting here completely in awe at the concept that a glass of wine has made me fully functional with no impairment.

TLDR: I heard about an old scheme called The Airplane Game recently. It reminded me of Bitcoin.
Someone on another sub suggested The Dream podcast, which covers modern scams that prey on people's desire for growing wealth. The first episode kicks off with the story of The Airplane Game. I had never heard of this until yesterday.
The Airplane Game allegedly started in New York City in the 1980's. It organically sprung up in different circles. People participating in the game were pitched to come to a business network seminar that included a life coach guest speaker. Chairs were arranged in a pyramid triangle formation. 1 seat at the top (the pilot), 2 seats behind them (the co-pilots), 4 seats behind them (flight attendants), and 8 seats on the last row (passengers).
The guest speaker would talk about "human potential", prosperity gospel themes, and all kinds of new age advice for growing your wealth and gaining financial independence. Somewhere within the presentation, the game was introduced. Put in $1500 to get a seat on the 4th row. Once all 8 seats on the back row were bought out, the pilot at the top would graduate with $12000. Then triangle would then split into two new triangles - with everyone moving up a row and leaving a new set of back rows for the next round of recruits. Everyone with a seat up front was incentivized to recruit new participants in the game. As that would speed up their path to cashing out as a pilot.
If I recall the woman being interviewed on the Podcast, the original participants were a high energy crowd and no one really connected the idea with it being a Ponzi scheme. They had no trouble recruiting and they bought in to the new age BS about the prosperity they rightfully deserved. The Airplane Game simply reinforced it. The groups would meet periodically with different speakers, introduce new players, give payouts, and talk more enlightenment. Even pilots who cashed out had no reason to not play again for another $1500.
Eventually, they ran out of suckers. And eventually some "low energy" folks would be left holding the bag and complaining loudly since they were unable to sell more seats on the plane. Then the cops and feds started raiding the Airplane Game parties across the country. And the whole thing collapsed.
Now here's where I think this intersects crypto. Bitcoin is just the Airplane Game on a bigger scale. Both are Ponzi schemes. Both are backed by a farcical philosophy promising a path to financial prosperity. There's gurus that espouse the philosophy to gain the trust of new recruits and so on. Without the hype factor being whipped up by those most incentivized to do so, both Bitcoin and and The Airplane Game seem dumb. But once the self-help prosperity philosophy is sprinkled in, it becomes a magnet for certain people.
If we can understand the psychology of people enticed by the Airplane Game. We can probably extrapolate that level of thinking to Bitcoin fanatics. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I think the flair is correct? Hopefully?
I am full on in recovery and doing my best to eat recently. Because of the holidays, we have gone out to eat a LOT, and that means a LOT of eating. It actually helped me develop my appetite again, since, the more I eat, the hungrier I am. It actually has always been like that.
But I feel like I'm not recovering fast enough. Or correctly? Or maybe I'm not recovering at all, just eating more? I try to eat on my maintenance calories, because any kind of weight gain would cause me to panic and then freak out and relapse.
Other than that, the fatigueee is killing me. I am too tired to stand up sometimes. So many people with EDs have not only the energy to move and socialize, but even workout, both before and during their recovery. I haven't heard of a single person here who is as tired as I have been, which makes me feel sick and lazy and invalid. God do I miss exercising freely.
I have started to get dizzy, too. Yesterday I was extremely dizzy and turns out I have low blood pressure now. Not sure what that means for me. I have been thinking it might be the amount of junk food I've been eating, or is it just an ED thought?
Does that mean I should be eating more? Do all of these symptoms mean I should keep going or am I just unhealthy now? Should I put on weight? Should I lose more weight? (Keep in mind I am at healthy bmi, albeit the far lower end of it) What does this mean?? I am very unsure and confused but it sure makes me feel so invalid and undeserving.
I would really appreciate some advice. Should I keep going amd it will get better, or should I be doing something else? God I feel so lazy.

So I’m not sure if it’s hereditary, but my dad does have RLS. I was mostly fine before I started taking Prozac a couple of months ago, but recently in the evenings my legs have been feeling kinda weird. Not pain exactly, kind of like what my mum would call “growing pains” when I was a kid, it’s just sort of an achy feeling inside my legs and I get the urge to move my legs a bit. I’m wondering if this is RLS? Because everything I look up for Prozac just relates it to muscle pain, but this isn’t pain in a sort of traditional sense, just like an ache/gnawing(?) feeling. Even when I don’t take the Prozac, I do get this feeling, but not anywhere near as often.

Sucks. They look all hot and well put together from 18-21 for college and as soon as the real world hits it's time to let go. I get it, sometimes work and stuff becomes the forefront of your life. Sometimes it's also the fact that after people get some money they start eating like a fat ass.
But in reality your late teens, twenties, and even early 30s should be the prime of your physical appearances and health. You don't change all that much from 18-25 from a physical standpoint. I'm already starting to see the difference at 23. People who go to the gym 3 times a week and don't eat like complete shit are still as hot as they were at 19 but with more muscle/ass. Maybe a little older if they're dudes and grow a beard but even then you can see the youth in their face. Otoh some people gained at least 20 lbs since graduating and look no younger than 29. What bothers me even more is when they complain about body aches and blaming it on "getting old". No..you're 22-23. The pain in your knees is the result of your body gaining tremendous mass in a short period of time
Weirdly enough it does motivate me. The more people let themselves go, the more I want to get hotter and stand out 🤷🏽‍♂️

Hello, everyone!
I have been feeling desolated lately, I just started accepting myself last year (at 26yo) and I never had someone in my life. Not even the first kiss. So, sometimes I just feel like a failure, and I start to think that I'll never have someone. Low self-esteem, and some kind of social anxiety, screams at me. Long story... but tonight, at the gym, I was feeling like that. It's funny because those thoughs are so powerful that I feel like I have no energy left, even if I just started to work out lol. Then Vogue, by Madonna, started playing on my headphone. Last night I just started watching Pose, and someone said that Voguing is more about showing confidence than doing the moves correctly. So I started thinking about that, and kinda felt a little better. Show confidence even tho I'm not. I didn't grew up on a homophobic home, but yet, I didn't have any contact, nor appreciated, our culture. I didn't have LGBT friends, and till today, I never been on a party, show, or any kind of celebration about our culture. It's also something I'm getting to know, our culture. My family doesn't know about me, but I want to "show" this confidence/pride somehow. So, besides music, how can I do that, quietly? What makes you feel proud?

No yellow on the tag/logo so not a blundstone or doc marten. Just a nice low profile chelsea boot, black leather, low heel. The logo was text and almost had lightning bolt energy, but couldn't make it out. Thanks!

Hello.
I (33f)have the CPTSD Ive known about it since a 2012 and have struggled since then to get treatment other than ssris. I recently had a mental health flare up and have finally found a therapist that I like. I lot of this have been coming up in therapy where my therapist thinks I should be kinder to myself or stand up for myself. I’m not sure because I’ve been trying to do so but it’s not seeming to work.
My husband works for himself/ works from home/ teaching himself to run a business for the past year. We live in hcol I work full time and pay for our health benefits, (he has an office in the apartment and we still split rent 50/50 (when he has the money to) and pay for all household goods and groceries (unless he is working and he will pay for half) I do most of the large purchases, car, insurance vacations, electricity and water and cell phones and he has the internet. He had liked to live month to month while trying to work as little as possible. I enjoy being with him when he has time for his own pursuits and he doesn’t like 9-5 life so I’m very happy with him not working as much as I do.
The thing is, is that he has been telling me that I don’t do enough, or that he doesn’t ask anything of me, or that I don’t spend enough quality time with him. He doesn’t like that I spend time after work reading or listening to audio books, scrolling Reddit or watching Tv. He says that he wants to see me being productive. He talks about how I need to have more productive hobbies. Like instead of reading, writing, or if I’m reading, blogging or reviewing it. He wants me to go on walks. He says I’d be less depressed if I did more things. He calls the time I spend in the evening mindlessly scrolling and said today that all the time I spend on my phone I could be spending with him. My screen time average is 2.5 hours/day. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just wasting my whole life away, it makes me think that he thinks very low of me.
This past year he wanted to start having dinner together at the dinning room table every night. (Like we are “supposed to” It’s been hard for me to rally for them. We would fight because I have a hard time eating without relaxing first and I would be so keyd up after a long shift he would get upset that I wasn’t appreciative. It took a lot of conversation to get him to understand that I need that wind down time before I can face dinner and conversation and real life again. I hurt my back and was unable to sit at the table so he has been understanding about sitting at the couch. After dinner and watching a show together he gets upset if I get on my phone when he goes in his office to work. He wants me to spend the time more productively. On my phone I read and listen to audiobooks. I read 5-6 books a month usually. Sometimes more if they are short stories. Idk how to explain to him that I like reading and it helps me relax. I suggested we read the 5 love languages book and he bought it which made me so happy, after he read it he said he excelled in all the love languages and that it was me who didn’t know how to speak his love language. What am I supposed to say to that?
He does most of the daily household chores ie dishes and laundry. I’ve told him in the past that if he paid for part of the electricity and the health insurance I could afford to get a cleaner. When I was in school and working part time I kept a better house but it’s a lot harder now because my job is stressful and mentally exhausting. I thought the cleaner would solve the issue. He doesn’t think we need one but gets upset that I can’t keep up with half of the duties. Dispite the fact he is home 24/7 and I’m only home in the evenings. Sometimes I work up to 14 hour days. Also, some days I need to be in bed. I give a lot to my job and I thought to was worth it to keep our lifestyle going weather he is actively working or not but now I’m hearing that the only thing I contribute is money and that it doesn’t count because he is going to pay me back.
It’s still hard for me though because I always have to make sure I have the money because I never know if he will be able to contribute or not. I don’t really want to work a bunch either. I am also just a work enough to survive kinda person.
The biggest issue I have is that I don’t think he respects me. Because how could you have such a low opinion of someone you respect? Why does he keep saying that I don’t do anything or that he doesn’t ask anything of me. How can he love someone who doesn’t do anything? He says that he is just trying to better me but I’m okay with myself. I’m not perfect but I’m not bad.
It’s true, I’m depressed and love to get cozy in the couch for hours at a time while listening to an audiobook and scrolling Reddit . I do clean on weekends that I don’t also work. I do the dishes twice a week and vacuum and clean the toilet every weekend. I do the litter box every other month. (It’s the crystal that get changed monthly) I buy the cat food and we split feeding them unless I’m working. I don’t do the dishes daily though(I get depressed with the endless daily tasks) I offered to buy a dishwasher because I had no problem doing that daily but he didn’t want me to spend money on it. I prefer to do larger weekly tasks because it’s hard for me to have the energy daily. I don’t like to cook after work so I’ll order us dinner or pick groceries that are quick meals. This is not what he considers healthy though and prefers to cook us healthy meals.
To me this relationship is me finding compromises and him finding reasons why I’m not doing things right. I am trying my best but I just feel like it’s never enough.
Am I crazy for being hurt by his attitude towards me despite him saying it’s to better me? Is my depression and laziness after work making me a bad partner or is my partner not being understanding of my needs?

I’m really not sure how to begin writing this because I’ve never taken myself onto a forum to vent. But I don’t even know where else to express what has been happpening to me over the last few years. I’m relatively successful and young, I have legitimately dedicated my LIFE up until this point (from age 16 to 29) building my makeup business. I accomplished all my goals. But now I’m sitting here, as a high functioning depressed person and I can really feel the internal struggle I’m having. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be so ambitious, full of life, go getter. Now, I feel like a burnt out version of myself that’s been chewed up and spit out. I went though Covid with my business and when we reopened I got to truly see how nasty the industry is, I’ve been treated terribly and have been through a lot of dramatic episodes that have broken me down from work. I really feel like the lowest version of myself. I’m super happy when I’m with friends and no one would even tell I’m depressed, but deep down I feel this horrible feeling that I’m just not happy. I don’t know what to do. I also have obsessive thoughts about new ventures, such as moving. I’ve moved probably 7 times in the last 2 years. The thought of moving homes just makes me feel like a fresh start is near. And I get depressed when I realize I can’t do it (my partner has had enough of me saying we’re moving). I don’t want to see or talk to anyone tbh. I haven’t left the house for work in a while, I work from home and I have such low energy. I obsessed about how to make more money, I have no hobbies. I don’t know how to turn my brain off. It’s making me miserable, it’s a roller coaster ride I am on. Help. :(

Currently an electric user, mostly out of convenience (dad bought me one years back), but it's been causing me a lot of issues lately. I think the blades are probably dull again, but beyond that it takes a longer time to do the shave than I'd care for, hairs are often missed, and due to the distance of the shave I've got a noticeable shadow on the face and it's been causing dysphoria for a few months
I have depression and adhd burnout that causes me to have little energy for self-care. I also have a relatively lower income job so as to better manage the mental health. The combination of the two has steered me away from most shaving solutions I've looked at before (usually seems to have high maintenance and high entry + continuous cost from an outside perspective).
Feels like a choosing beggar thing to ask, but hoping that there's an option out there that's both economical and low-effort to maintain. Oh, and it would need to be either SE or DE, as SRs scare me. I always think I'll end up slitting my throat on purpose if I have one and I'd rather not give myself that chance

Hello, I’m new here! I was recently diagnosed with Ureaplasma and let me tell you….its been a journey!! First treatment I was only given 1gram Azitho and that made my symptoms worse (cramping, green discharge that has egg white consistency, burning- burning has stopped) I went to both my gyno &family doctor who know nothing about this bacteria &they both insist I take Levofloxacin…this morning was my first dose and I feel like I’ve already noticed this morning I felt almost drunk/stumbley followed by muscle aches &my vision is foggy &very sensitive to light as the day went on! I honestly don’t know if I just psyching myself into anxiety or if I’m actually have a reaction! I’ve looked this medication up and told my doctor I was terrified to take it but seems like they will not go any other route!!! Idk what to do at this point and I’m honestly scared to continue taking it.

There aren't many of these going around, so I felt like putting another one out there. If it's useful then I'm pleasantly surprised. If not, oh well, it was fun writing this.

1. What are your views on the good things in life? Do they happen naturally, or do you have to create them yourself？How do they manifest into reality?
2. What are your views on the bad things in life? What are the reasons they happen? How much control do you really have over such matters?
3. How attached are you to your emotions? How often do you express them to others? What even is the purpose of such feelings? And what are the biases that impede your judgements?
4. What do you want in life? Are they achievable? If people and obstacles are in your way, what would you do then? With resources being limited, is it ok to acquire essential needs by denying them to someone else?
5. Are people inherently good or bad? Or is it neither? What do you believe when it comes to moral goodness? What duties do we all have as individuals? Do we owe anything to each other by default?
6. Are you extroverted or introverted? If you're ambiverted, when do you lean on each side? What excites you? What drains your energy? How do you feel alive when plagued by boredom and the mundane?
7. What people/values/things do you hold dear to yourself? How do you prevent yourself from being separated from them? Does being disconnected scare you? Do you desire to fit in with the world?
8. What are the biggest disappointments you have? It doesn't even have to be something that happened to you personally. What is something you expected more from, but it somehow managed to fall short?
9. What do you expect from others? Are you entitled to anything? Be it love or materialistic things. How easy is it to rely on others? To depend on something else outside of your control?
10. What are you as a person? How do you see yourself? How do others see you? How do you want others to see you? How do you want to see yourself?
11. How do you organize your thoughts? What are concepts and ideas to you? How do you navigate through such a hazy frightening future? What do you believe are the most important questions one can ask?
12. Are your instincts something to be trusted? Your first-impressions, or your natural intuition on things. How often, and when, are you on "autopilot" with your body? Doing things out of habit and muscle memory.

So im on a cut (24 f been on gym for 1year+) and its efficiently targeting fat but somehow I can see that im tapping on my muscle mass as well, despite keeping a high protein low carbs diet. Any explanation and advice I can apply here?

Personal opionion that im really interested to see other peoples reactions and possibly get the devs to react to.
Assualt rifles: Liberator: increase damage to 70 or 75 while maybe descrease rate of fire. Liberator penetrator: increase damage to atleast 60 Liberator concussive: maybe increase fire rate. Tenderizer: it literaly says more stopping power so increase the damage to 80 or so but keep light penetration so slightly more damage then liberator but lower mag. Adjudicator: increase damage to 90 or 100. Reasons: right now the assualt rifles are worthless for the most part...even since day one of playing this game the submachine guns have felt more like assualt rifles.
Marksmam rifles: Honestly keep them how they are they are in a really good spot.
Submachine guns: These feel like assualtrifles and everygame i have ever played submachine guns usually have a higher rate of fire so using these for the first time shocked me. I would maybe suggest lower damage slightly on both but increase rate of fire a pretty good amount which in return would have a slight increase in recoil. After all submachine guns are more ment for close to mid range fights.
Shotguns: The only one that needs a change is the spray and pray Spray and pray should live up to its name and have atleast a damage buff to 200 (192 damage just makes no sense just round it up)
Explosives: Dominator: put it back up to 300 or if that was seriously to strong maybe 290 but it still feels pretty good how it is) Exploding crossbow: im at a loss honestly Eruptor: shrapnel....
Energy based:
Punisher plasma: feels like it was changed for no reason. Bring back the 12 amount count (i think thats what it was at) and the lower rage/projectile speed it was really strong but just had a learning curve now it just feels easy but annoying to use because of low ammo.
scythe: is a long range laser pointer so maybe add a longer range scope
Blitzer,sickle,scorcher are good
These number would of course need to be tested but could lead to a pretty good feel for the game...yes i know the punisher plasma is a more personal opinion.

• 14.5 year old lab shepherd cross
• Diagnosed with immune mediated neutropenia in 2018; was on low dose prednisone ever since
• In 2023, started developing random illnesses such as:
  
• sudden Giardia infection
  
• Scabs all over skin randomly with very flaky skin (never went away and had to keep using medicated shampoo)
  
• Ear infections coming back after being gone for years; medicine made him go deaf
  
• Vestibular event
  

And then he also developed very picky eating suddenly. Had to use lots of methods to get him to eat over the past year.
Then in 2024 he had a kidney infection and was prescribed 14 days of Baytril. Blood tests also showed internal bleeding (mild to moderate regenerative anemia).
After finishing the two weeks of antibiotics, the next day he was very lethargic. In the evening we found him struggling to get up (he was losing a lot of muscle in back legs) and he refused to eat anything, not even treats. We thought it was time as we had seen him struggle a lot to eat and not be himself. He was laying on the floor not wanting to get up, and we carried him down the stairs. At the vet’s he just lay down the whole time and didn’t want the treats or his ball.
Now I’m wondering in hindsight if it was just the antibiotics making him feel crappy.

Hello, I’m wondering how much I could improve on my 400m this summer. I ran the 400 for the first time last week and ran a low 55. I have pretty much no endurance. For context, my 2nd 100 is a lot slower than my 1st in the 200, and when running 400s with 8 minute breaks in between, I couldn’t make it past 1 at around 56 seconds.
My 100 time is 12 flat, and I’m relatively weak in terms of muscle mass. Also I’m a boy and pretty much past puberty. Would 52-53 be feasible? I feel like I have the speed just not the endurance so I’m wondering how hard it would be to build that up in a summer?

Hey there! I just wanted to weigh in with my personal experience taking wellbutrin for 2 years to manage depression, for anyone else out there who may find this helpful.
Before going into details, I want to emphasize that for managing my depression, wellbutrin was absolutely incredible and saved me from a really dark and heavy period in my life. Further, while stomach issues with wellbutrin are not uncommon, I believe my reaction was likely exceptionally severe (so I don't want to fearmonger).
The Good:
Wellbutrin was a huge help for me. I was on 150 mg for ~5 months and then 300 mg for ~20 months. It helped my depression a lot (though not my anxiety). I noticed on 150 mg my mood was quite unpredictable in a way that was really uncomfortable for me, but going up to 300 mg leveled things out.
The Ugly:
How it Started
While I was on wellbutrin, especially after going up to 300 mg, I slowly started to develop stomach issues. I had struggled with IBS-like symptoms on-and-off for a long time, but after about 3 months on wellbutrin it started to get much worse, and within 1 year of being on 300 mg it became horrifically unmanageable.
Stomach Pain & Diet
I lost over 10 pounds within a month last summer and, for context, I am already someone who has been "underweight" my whole life. I lost the weight really rapidly, none of my clothes fit, and I had no energy. I would take my wellbutrin in the morning (as is generally advised) and by around 2 pm would start to feel really bloated, and it would just get worse and worse until the evening, to the point where I could never eat dinner, or even leave the house much, and would just sit on the couch with a hot water bottle. At one point the pain was so bad a family physician sent me to the ER thinking I had appendicitis! I had multiple ultrasounds that came back clear.
I became gluten intolerant (not even a bite of bread was okay) and developed a pretty severe intolerance to soy (even small trace amounts of soy lecithin in things like granola bars and chocolate would take me out for an entire day)
Ultimately, doctors classified it just as IBS and put me on the low-FODMAP diet. It certainly helped, and it helped me identify my 'trigger' foods, but with being vegetarian, on low-FODMAP, and unable to eat soy, my diet felt impossibly restrictive. But, I felt better and stuck to it.
Eventually, the low-FODMAP diet stopped working, and this past January I had another flareup. This time was even worse. No foods were safe foods, and I was constantly in pain and bloated (to the point of looking 6 months pregnant on a regular basis). Eating became something I feared, but not eating would trigger stomach pain as well. I couldn't eat so much as a salad without taking multiple IB-Guard capsules beforehand and ginger gravol after, and even then it was painful.
Menstrual Cycle
While my stomach issues were constant, they definitely became significantly worse around my period and around mid-cycle (ovulation) for about a week at a time (so 2 out of 4 weeks, rip), and it was debilitating. For 2 days before my period and around ovulation, it felt like I had the flu. I couldn't eat, I would have the chills, throw up, be nauseous, and virtually unable to eat. This lead doctors to think I may have severe endometriosis, despite the absence of period cramps or heavy bleeding (which is possible, but unlikely).
Figuring It Out
I went to yet another doctor and she sent me for some tests, but I live in Montreal, Canada, where the wait times for those specific tests were ~8 months each, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. So, I decided to do an experiment on myself. Keep in mind that because the stomach problems evolved slowly while I took wellbutrin, I never realized it could be what was causing my issues-and for some reason no doctor suggested that either.
I realized that I took my medications in the morning, and by lunch I would start to feel unwell. So I did a trial where one day I didn't take the other prescription medication I take (sprionolactone for hormonal acne)-no difference. The next day, I didn't take my wellbutrin. I had the best day I had had in well over a year. No stomach pain whatsoever. I thought it could be a fluke, so I skipped a second day. No pain. Day 3, I took half my usual dose (150 mg)-horrible pain. So, I did what doctors would definitely not recommend and went off it cold turkey. Stomach problems=gone. It was incredible, and I felt like I had my life back.
Today
Today I feel amazing. I have virtually no stomach problems at all, and I have started to re-introduce foods that I could not tolerate a small bite of before. My gluten and soy intolerances completely disappeared, which was shocking. Last week I had pasta for the first time, today I had tofu for the first time again. Having a restrictive diet was not super bothersome to me after I got used to it, and I know many people live their whole lives with eating restrictions like that. But it is nice to be able to expand my diet again (especially as a vegetarian, being able to eat things like tofu and seitan is sooo helpful). I don't feel horrible around my period at all. I feel like I have my life back-I can go out with friends at night and just enjoy myself and not be in pain, not have to take 3 different supplements to eat a meal, can eat whatever I want on occasional restaurant outings, etc. My stomach problems felt like they took up 90% of my thoughts and energy, and now I have that all back to put towards myself and the people I care about <3
Important: Now, for the first few weeks wellbutrin withdrawal was kind of no big deal. I was definitely tired, but it was manageable and went away after a short while. HOWEVER, a month after I had a full nervous breakdown that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was inconsolable for 4 days, and eventually went to the ER, and ended up taking Ativan to get through the couple days that followed. However, I was put on Lexapro (just 5 mg) and have been 100% fine and thriving since, and my anxiety is way better than it ever was on wellbutrin. I should also note that I left a very, very difficult relationship during this time, and it went quite horribly, and so while I would be amiss to not say quitting wellbutirn cold turkey didn't contribute to this "breakdown", I think context is really important.
I should also note that I have a history of having a hard time with prescription medications (so before anyone else says it first, myself or a doctor probably should have guessed wellbutrin was the culprit long before the 2 years). In any case... I had to stop taking Zoloft a few years back because it made me horribly nauseous and bloated, and the same was true for oral contraceptives (I tried 5 different ones over 4 years and all caused horrible nausea)-I now have a copper IUD.
TLDR: Wellbutrin help my anxiety but caused horrific stomach problems (severe and painful bloating, constipation, stomach cramping, nausea) and lead me to develop intense food intolerances (to gluten and soy) and made a strict low-FODMAP diet the only way to keep myself going. Stopping wellbutrin cured my stomach issues within a month, but quitting cold turkey lead to an intense emotional break.
Sorry this was so long, but I hope it helps someone

Description: In the infernal depths of Hell, where it is divided by two powerful continents vying for control surrounded by a circling sea of lava and countless fortresses of beings unknown to the realms--the Magma Depths--young Kaiden Torchspire of House Satan of the Wrathlands finds out about the incoming invasion from the never-mentioned divine realm of Heaven. And so Torchspire decides to take action and goes on an expansive, definitely-long-term quest to unite the two continents so they can finally destroy Heaven. His journey begins with an untold fortress of the Magma Depths. Me, the writer, has always been fond of on the concept of turning real life concepts into a powerful fantasy series, and so, with inspiration from A Song of Ice and Fire I decided to turn Christianity into an epic fantasy universe.
Book #1: The Hellfire War
Chapter One: Blood Oath and Unexpected Visitors
"Our infernal realm is what keeps us going." said the dark-winged figure of dark crimson skin and a heavily-singed leather toga carrying multiple forms of weaponry, coldly. The figure's eyes were a dull dead gray, his pupils etched with a faint red-energy. He had snaky-like hair and both the claws on his bare feet and hands were raven-shaded and extremely sharp. This figure was Dreadwing Satan, of House Satan--the ruling governance of the Wrathlands. Dreadwing was apart of the main family within House Satan--that being Satan, obviously. The ruling house of the Wrathlands is divided by three families: the Satan family, the Lucious family, and the Torchspire family. "And so," began Dreadwing, his voice always consisting an icy and menacing quality, also with a hint of gruffness. "It is what binds the Realm of Torture together. And so, today we are enacting one of the Realm of Torture's most oldest traditions that symbolizes our determination to stand firm and fight against the ongoing flames of damnation and..." While the ruling figure of House Satan kept on going, one of the countless members of the audience--Kaiden Torchspire, of the Torchspire branch of House Satan--was feeling extremely anxious about the upcoming tradition. The Blood Oath.
Kaiden had the ordinary dull dead gray eyes, but his pupils was etched with a faint purple-energy. His raven-shaded slick hair was greasy and dirty, and his crimson skin etched with countless aching bruises--all of that probably coming from his training sessions in his house's fortress' central training room. His claws were a dull pale white, and he was wearing classical tattered demon clothes but had dark-steel shoulder pads. Kaiden's relationship with the Torchspire family always seemed like sort of a curse; since he had to go through endless and rigourous training. But he always thought to himself that he was being ungrateful; since his life was more lucky then then what the lower ranks of demons within the Realm of Torture always had the short-end-of-the-stick.
The Blood Oath was a tradition almost as ancient as Hell itself, maybe it was, but the specific timing of its creation is unknown to the infernal society. The Blood Oath was a special ritual; where they would get countless cups of blood through rigiourous fighting and offer it to the ancient Seven Princes of Hell--the original inhabitance of the infernal realm. And only the ruling Houses of Hell had to participate in this demonic cultural event.
"...And so," began Dreadwing Satan once again. "It is of great pleasure to me and the ruling demons of the Lucious branch and the Torchspire branch of House Satan, that we hereby start the Blood Oath ceremonial line of events by the Night of Stars as usual. A message to the demons of both Lucious origin and Torchspire origin; best of luck in the perils ahead."
To any normal person in the Human World those lasts couple of words would deeply frighten them; but to demons like Kaiden it did not--since it happens every year.
Kaiden sat on his bed-made-for-a-king and laid there for a long time; he only had five days until the Night of Stars--the night that begins the Blood Oath tradition. The Night of Stars was chosen because of its legendary happenings within it; that were the nighttime in the infernal depths of Hell became the exact same appearance as the nights of the Human World; raven-shaded, and filled to the brim with hundreds of thousands of small dots of bright light--stars. The Torchspire youngling got up from his bed and walked out the grand dark-wooden doors that were the entrance and exit of the his bedroom, and shutting them close behind them. It was time for his daily training session. He continued walking through the large halls of the Torchspire fortress to the center room; the Damnation, which was the training room of the fortress. When he reached the large stone doors leading to the Damnation, he opened them up with ease and walked in confidently. Inside the massive training room was countless tactical practice exercises; such as dummies, targets with countless arrows in it, and even some cages that had human souls, where demons would practice torturing; since that was the fundamental task of the Realm of Torture and the original intent for the creation of Hell, at least until the formation of the Refuge Lands. On the right side of the Damnation was tall and slightly-muscular demon; his body of dark crimson, his raven-shaded hair greasy and dirty just like Kaiden's, and had the same exact pale white claws on both his barefeet and hands. He also had the same tattered leather clothes of demons, but were less tattered since he hasn't been as much training sessions after those new clothes were made. And he wore hard-steel shoulder pads similar to Kaiden's. This demonic figure was Kaiden's older brother; Domino Torchspire. He was also his partner-in-training. Kaiden walked towards the older Torchspire and when he reached him, Domino turned around and grinned as he saw his younger brother. Kaiden could see his gray eyes that were etched with the same faint purple-energy. "You're late, Kai." Shut up, you big oath. Kaiden thought to himself and then grinned. "Well, at least I wasn't too late that our father had to punish me by "means of unjustness."" Kaiden smirkingly remarked, since he was referencing what happened the day before. Domino frowned at his comment. "Shut up, Kaiden. Father would never punish his heir." "Yeah well, we'll see about that-" Kaiden never got to finish that remark when the grand doors of the Damnation flew upon and Kaiden and Domino's father burst in, his skin the casual dark crimson, had tattered leather robes, raven-shaded greasy hair, his claws on his feet and hands a pale white, and his eyes was an unusual dark-gray color, but still had the faint purple energy in his pitch-black pupils. Behind their father--Blackwood Torchspire--was a few dozen demon guards, that were covered in hard-steel armor. Their father turned to them and then began walking towards them, and then began speaking with his casual gruff but cold voice. "Domino, Kaiden, it would seem we have unexpected visitors. It's the Dull." The young and older Torchspire's eyes widened with surprise; since visits from the Dull. Of course, most demons knew of the Dull; they were the main unit of enforcement in the Realm of Torture. Their elite order was founded at the time right after the disappearance of the Seven Princes, and were known throughout the infernal depths as the most capable enforcement team in the Realm of Torture. The Dull are also known for their unparalleled mercilessness and an alarming will to vanquish any being that retaliates and gets in the way of their tasks. But now, presumably, they have come to the fortress of one of the three families of House Satan, one of the ruling governance forces in the Realm of Torture.

• 14.5 year old lab shepherd cross
• Diagnosed with immune mediated neutropenia in 2018; was on low dose prednisone ever since
• In 2023, started developing random illnesses such as:
  
• sudden Giardia infection
  
• Scabs all over skin randomly with very flaky skin (never went away and had to keep using medicated shampoo)
  
• Ear infections coming back after being gone for years; medicine made him go deaf
  
• Vestibular event
  

And then he also developed very picky eating suddenly. Had to use lots of methods to get him to eat over the past year.
Then in 2024 he had a kidney infection and was prescribed 14 days of Baytril. Blood tests also showed internal bleeding (mild to moderate regenerative anemia).
After finishing the two weeks of antibiotics, the next day he was very lethargic. In the evening we found him struggling to get up (he was losing a lot of muscle in back legs) and he refused to eat anything, not even treats. We thought it was time as we had seen him struggle a lot to eat and not be himself. He was laying on the floor not wanting to get up, and we carried him down the stairs. At the vet’s he just lay down the whole time and didn’t want the treats or his ball.
Now I’m wondering in hindsight if it was just the antibiotics making him feel crappy.

Hi y'all, I've been seeing a rheumatologist for a couple months. It started with gastro symptoms, and then continued to arthritis, itching but no rash, fatigue, muscle weakness, swollen tender lymphnodes in neck arm pit and groin, cheat pain, pain with deep breaths, rolling low grade fevers (37.4 to 38.2) and weight loss. I have a 320 ANA, 320 speckled and 320 homogeneous ANA. I was diagnosed yesterday with Adult Stills disease but I'm having a hard know if stomach issues are involved.