It is 2002. I am 10 years old.
I will be watching television until this summer night is a summer morning. Mom and dad are asleep. They're pretty chill about my nocturnal habits but my freedom still feels like a juicy forbidden fruit. I down my 16 oz of caffeine and prepare for some quality viewing.
First, I check out some of the Lakers game on TNT. It's a treat to watch Shaq and Kobe but the game was decided two quarters ago.
Adult Swim is next. I'm not even sure what the hell anime is at this point but the kinetic energy and humor draws me in. During a break, a jump scare ends a promo, briefly rendering me without pigment. It's meant to be played for dark laughs but my surreal sensibilities have not yet developed.
On another channel, Chuck Norris is trying to sell me exercise equipment. Although the ad is dry and I have no means of payment, I linger on this network longer than necessary. Irony, perhaps?
Over to Nicktoons. Here, they're playing the programs being phased out but there's enjoyment to be had. I still think Doug is funny. The show, not the character. Doug himself is about as funny as a hemorrhoid. It's the one where he stresses out about dinner. Shut up and eat the liver and onions, geek.
Stopping on one of my favorite recently-concluded comedies, now in syndication, my laughter is interrupted by the screech of the planned emergency broadcast test. They claim it's a weekly procedure but it seems this exact screen screamed at me three days ago. The robot eventually leaves but not before its "urgent" message blocks out one of my favorite jokes in the series.
Oh hell yeah, Girls Gone Wild. This will age well, I bet.
Pop-Up Video distracts me for a while. Virtual Insanity, Stan and Bodies back to back to back. Solid lineup. Did you know Drowning Pool's biggest hit was the theme to SummerSlam 2001?
Back to Cartoon Network but now they're showing the old Hanna-Barbera stuff that doesn't have Scooby. Sure, I could go for an episode of JabberJaw.
I press the arrow as hard as I can. Let's see what awaits on the higher stations. It's a game I've played before with lackluster results but I'm bored. Our relatively old set blanks out near the end of the loop. Twenty seconds feels like an hour as the witching time ambiance outside intensifies. A loud boom crackles but nobody awakes in shock. The signal is static-y but the monochrome colors of usual difficulties have been replaced by red and black pulsating; the ordinary and incessant fizzing I'm accustomed to would feel welcome. A deep voice belches blasphemy. I want to turn the channel but I am unable.
Before I know it, I'm ending my evening with Nick at Nite. Brady Bunch is on. It's the episode where they go to Kings Island. I like this one!

Ooook, so this happened to me about an hour ago and half ago. It shook me so bad I had to sit with my thoughts for a bit, and I remembered about this subreddit. So really I just want someone’s opinion: was it a creepy encounter or a fun prank or…?
Last week I bought a partly broken porcelain doll at a flea market. Since I hand-washed it, it was taking a lot of time to properly dry indoors, so this afternoon I decided to leave it on my small balcony to airdry a little bit.
When I came home from work at 11 PM, I noticed the doll was gone and my potted plant knocked over. Basically there was no way for this doll to have fell on the street, but to be sure I went downstairs and checked the sidewalk for pieces or fragments (a porcelain doll would shatter). Nothing.
It became obvious to me that the only way for this doll to disappear was someone hooking it from the balcony above mine and pulling it up. The elderly couple that lives there has grandchildren around 5 years-old so I immediately thought of them.
Called my mum angry as hell and told her the whole story, window open, loudly enough (at this point it was 11.20pm or something). I was so frustrated about losing this doll that had absolutely no value except me really liking it, and I live in a really wealthy neighbourhood, so it made no sense that someone would steal it from me like that. In the middle of expressing all this to my mom, the doll slowly comes down hanging on a cord. I immediately look up and see this man around 80 years old, never spoken to him before, don’t know his name. And he says “oh it was a joke!!! I wanted to prank you… sorry! Ahah! A joke!”
Took my doll back, closed the window and started spiraling. Do I have no sense of humour and it was genuinely just a funny joke?
I don’t know, I guess I’m kinda tired from work and the stress I accumulated thinking someone stole it from my balcony overwhelmed me. It was pretty funny as a concept, I will admit it.
So I would like some thoughts from strangers on the internet. Am I overreacting or it was a little effed up and slighly malicious?

“We’ve just developed this more serious line,” said Fred. “Funny how it happened . . .”
“You wouldn’t believe how many people, even people who work at the Ministry, can’t do a decent Shield Charm,” said George. “ ’Course, they didn’t have you teaching them, Harry.”
“That’s right. . . . Well, we thought Shield Hats were a bit of a laugh, you know, challenge your mate to jinx you while wearing it and watch his face when the jinx just bounces off. But the Ministry bought five hundred for all its support staff! And we’re still getting massive orders!”
“So we’ve expanded into a range of Shield Cloaks, Shield Gloves . . .”
-HBP
You can't even make a joke shop without getting a little bit of government money on the side lol

My father quite doesn’t understand things about the LGBT+, his brain is more like a child when time when on due to things I don’t want to disclose. He cracks dumb jokes and thinks it’s funny. I told my mother and while she supports me, she’s still confused about a lot. With my dad because of his jokes and opinions I feel terrified about him finding out. My grandpa died thinking I was still catholic I might do the same here. My gender is (F) I like both men and woman and I’m super excited to have my first pride month as not just an alli but as an actual member. Everyone is beautiful, keep loving who you love❤️

I’m just having a really bad day today. My stomach is all sorts of messed up and I’m sick. Sometimes I feel really defeated, and today is one of those days. My best medicine is humor, but today I’m just not feeling like saying anything funny. Anyone got any good jokes or anything to reinvigorate my mood.

I didn't know what tag to put on this so here we go.
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
​
I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.

I am the wife. Now 39 and my husband 44 and our children are now 1 and 3 years old.
My husband showed me his post but he has missed a lot of things out. If I am the a*shrike I will put my hands up and admit that.
Prior to the VIP event at Downing Street, the best man from our wedding had come to our house and in front of my husband. Stated that my husband had been flirting with their friend’s girlfriend at this LARP he had been attending for many years. He said,”You can twist it up to (my name) as much as you want afterwards.” My husband didn’t back deny it, he didn’t throw his friend out, or deny the claims. I felt sick but I had no words.
When the VIP Downing Street event came up, it was my cousin who had been out of work for years who had the job and she phoned me and offered me a ticket. As she knew, that I don’t really go out anywhere. I asked my husband’s permission on 3 separate occasions. By text, face to face and verbally over the phone and each time he gave his permission. Was still looking for an extra ticket for him and was going to go as far as to use my own month to get a ticket but my cousin told me, that it was VIP and therefore limited. But still we discussed getting tickets in the future as we knew my husband was into politics. It was not a party but V.I.P event, for relatives of people who worked at Downing Street. Before people knew about Boris Johnson and the parties. At the last minute my husband decided that I could not go with our eldest. To get me to listen to him, he threatened to tell my Uncle’s wife about my Aunty being a b*tch. They don’t get on and this would have created so much drama on my side of the family. That my husband was contacting relatives, to moan about my Aunty. The second thing he did, was he said,”You can’t go if there is a bomb scare can you?” In my mind, I thought about me and our baby being tackled by the police and how traumatic it would be for us. Especially our child.
The V.I.P ticket was just that. A V.I.P ticket to look at the inside of Downing Street get a chance to meet my cousin’s collegues. There were other children attending too and every adult there was a parent. From my mother to step father. So it would never be a party.
After I cancelled attending, nobody could take my place as it was such short notice and, they had made arrangements as I was bringing my child who was very young. After the cancellation my husband began saying that he would have taken us down to London, that my step father drove like a maniac. All of these suggestions that he never meanioned before and even worse, he began telling other people this too. As if I would take our baby to a party I am not that irresponsible and I stopped clubbing over a decade ago.
My mother decided to ban my husband from my Grandmother’s house, as that is where everyone meets whenever we are doing anything. Like birthday parties, film night e.t.c My Grandmother who has always liked my husband said that it was impossible for that ban to take place, as it was her house. My mother and I have a very close relationship like best friends.
Yes I was abused as a child by a man who was beating up my mother. But the authorities are aware of that and know who he is and are dealing with it.
I arranged for my mother to have a conversation with my husband as they used to get on so well. My mother even did a surprise birthday spread for him. Something which I have never experienced in the nearly 20 years we have been together from his side, the most I have got is a birthday card and some cards and month but I have still appreciated it. Anyway they talked and my mother brought up what the best man had said about him flirting with another woman, also about him making jokes to our baby saying,”Do you want another Mummy?” Things I had told my husband I didn’t find funny and not to do in public but he did it anyway. Which was in front of his family and I found that hurtful and humiliating. For a moment my husband took the phone to a part in the kitchen where I couldn’t hear what was said and my mother maintains up until this day they that he threatened her.
Regarding the Bomb scare threat I told my husband that even if he had said it in jest, he would have lost his job and been investigated by police. But he laughed it off. My cousin was in tears as she could have lost her job and this is the type of things they warn you about in government jobs. She doesn’t work there now and she did ask to speak to my husband to get an apology but he refused. Said he didn’t have anything to Aplogise for. Why did I tell my Mim about the bomb scare threat he made? We have that relationship where she tells me things about her partner and we have never confronted him about it. I thought it would be the same for me, yes I apologised to my husband all the time about telling my Mum he made a bomb scare threat.
Regarding marriage counciling we tried it it for a moment and in the 1-1 session the councilour told me my husband raised many red flags and asked what he was like with our child.
While pregnant with our second my husband would call me “lazy” and compared me to other women he knew who were pregnant. Still I did everything, from breakfast to ironing his clothes to work, any D.I.Y in the house which needed doing, buying extra rails for our clothes. Even putting the bins out. Still he would cuss me and call me names. On two separate erate occasions he came to my midwife appointment and changed the time and dates there and then saying he couldn’t make it as he had to support a collegue from work. On one such occasion he rushed home after dropping me and our eldest home, had a shave changed his clothes to meet this female colleague. Showing the midwives that he wasn’t too interested in the appointment which they arranged as they were concerned that I would get gestational diabetics. I agreed to the change of the appointment times as I didn’t want to create a fuss and was embarrassed that he had changed them.
While pregnant he would text and phone this female colleague every hour of the night, Waasaap, FaceTime whenever. Meanwhile he was calling me names. He even once turned and said this weird phrase,”If there are 2 dogs but one isn’t interested and another dog comes along and is sniffing.” In relation to his relationship with this female colleague.
There was an incident where one of his mother’s dogs growled at our child for getting too close to him. I was heavily pregnant and had to come off the livingroom chair I was sitting on to get our eldest. My husband said it was just a “warning growl” and his nieces who grew up with dogs said it was “scary” how the greyhound reacted. This is a dog which retired from racing and used to chase small things. So naturally any parent would be weary of that. So I spoke to my MiL about it and she blamed me for it , saying that it was because I was on my mobile phone. Even though there were other relatives who were closer to my son.
I knew I couldn’t talk to my family about how I was feeling so I began speaking to the best man who had since retracted his statement about my husband flirting with another woman at his LARP game. But he let me know that there were other people who felt weary around my husband and how he was banned from LARP for his behaviour. I was shocked as my husband had always told me he was being bullied there. And not one to just follow what someone says on face value I contacted them and they told me that under no circumstances would my husband be allowed at LARP or any other events they themselves did due to his behaviour.
There had also been a few work collegues who said he was threatening to them and aggressive. Not a casual conversation but people who had reported this to people in the company he worked for.
I wasn’t suffering from post natal depression, I was stressed and upset at what was happening , what I was being told and how I was being treated.
My respite was only supposed to be until my husband’s temper had subsided. I stayed at my Grandmother’s for about four days with our children.
Back home my husband confided in me that his mother had been the one to put a stop to the London VIp event. Out of order because the amount of times she will take my husband places and leave me and the children at home.
As well as this revelation being told to me, my brother in law came to the house while me and my children were inside and began kicking and punching the door and making threatening and racist remarks.My husband wasn’t home and our youngest at the time was under 3 months. He left when my MIL came to the door and she told me while I was holding my youngest in my arms that we never should have came back. And she defended my brother in laws behaviour saying it was down to his bipolar and when she left the house she smiled into the ring camera sweetly as if she had been comforting me, I just burst into tears. I had come back home with my children and this happened.
My mother in law came to the house a second time but my family who had heard how she was carrying on advised me not to open the door and let her in again.
Later on in the year my brother in law came to the house wrote a note and posted it through the letterbox. My mother in law came to the house and opened our front door with a key I knew nothing about her having,and removed the evidence. Then miraculously the video footage disappeared. The footage showing my brother in law coming to the house, posting the note through the door and my mother in law coming and leaving. But you could see it had been deleted as it jumped,then there was a huge time lapse. Thankfully I had downloaded the footage moments beforehand. So when the the police came around they had that footage. As this was the second time the police gave me a crime reference number to link the incidents together.
It was my mother and brother who checked the house for me the second time around before my children stepped foot into the house. With me.
Other things….
*I went to a plant show and I had told my husband before hand. He claims that he didn’t know and on the day while I was there at the plant place my mother and I had invited him to come along. He refused. We were also going to see some poets performing there and I love plants and poetry. I wrote poetry and love gardening. My husband didn’t come to see the beautiful view with us and he wasn’t home when I got home at 10pm at night. He didn’t answear any phone calls or texts and I stayed up worried that he was laying dead in a ditch. I had my life360 app on so he could see where I was at all times an app he got everyone to join and yet his location was off. I was pregnant with our second child and I stayed up all night. In the morning he came in briskly without a care in the world and he behaved like he had done nothing wrong. He went to work and he blamed me for him not coming home. I went to see a plant show….. (PoliNations) and he punished me by not coming home. He didn’t care about me our or unborn childrd child.
A*My husband has sent me poo emojis when I have sent him hearts.
He has waited for me to pack the car up with bags and our children and drove off, taking my purse with him. And telling me on the phone while I am begging him to come back to ask my Mum for money if I need it. That day I was meeting my Mum in town and I was so late as a result of this I had to beg my husband to come back as he had my purse and everything in the car.
Yes he still speaks to that female collegue in fact he is getting her a job at his new workplace he has also told me that she wanted to cook for him at her home. Any concerns I have he makes out like I am possessive and paranoid. She has even gone so far as to go to Pakistan to get him t shirts for some union stuff they were doing together.
My husband has also tried to tell me that I am autistic, on the spectrum and mentally ill if I try to remind him of something he has done he will say I’m imagining it or hearing things or am Mad.. Randomly I found an article showing you how to retrieve deleted messages and I found texts where he told me if I died it would serve my mother right for banning him. Other things like that.
We attend many places with his side of the family like museums and family zoos but now as well as this it has become a habit to be out and hear my in laws running down my mother or my side of the family I have asked them not too.
My mother is fearful that if anything were to happen to me and my children. My in laws would cover it up. Am I the arsehole?
The internet is down it took 3 hrs to upload this Thank you for reading.

I wrote about him on here a few weeks ago and he’s gone out of his way to insult me and if I say anything back he cuts me off. Well I finally reached out to my director bc I’ve had it. I don’t even do anything to this coworker of mine he just hates me for no reason. And my parents have warned me if I keep having problems w ppl I’ll get fired but they have problems w me for no reason they won’t give them make it my problem by bullying me. So I have every right to reach out to a director if I feel unsafe at work. I hope my boss isn’t fed up w me bc I’ve only complained ab 3ish people so far and only 2 to my director. One of them she was a menace to all and quit and the other, he’s nice now. I’m so uncomfortable and he just expresses his dismay towards me “as a joke” and jokes are supposed to be funny not hurtful, each should be on the same page that y’all are just playing and understanding the intentions behind the joke and be ok w it. And I’m not ok w his as he doesn’t make me laugh, he’s hurtful unlike my other coworkers they playfully bully me and respect me boundaries mutually and I screw around back w them. Different Fr. I’ll update u in what my director says.

My stbx likes to joke, but most of his jokes are about making me feel small.
He came in my room, while my 19 was there with me, and said, next time we fight, I'll tell you this - and he shows me the word "curve" on a dish (it's a brand name or something).
I asked what does that mean? He says Google it, it's in Romanian. So my daughter googled it and turns out it means slut.
My daughter became upset, and was like, why does he think it's remotely funny? And was clearly offended on my behalf.
Anyway, I got busy with work, and about an hour later I came over to him and asked him to apologize to our 19 for saying this in front of her.
He started getting agitated, saying I don't know how to take a joke, am too sensitive and influencing our daughter to be like me, saying he'll never joke with us again (we have 4 other kids), and that we're becoming a sensitive family (meaning me and our kids).
AITA for overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill?

There is a makeup brand that has been involved in some racist controversy. prior to this controversy I also had an incident with them where they accused me of lying (I wasn’t and I had receipts) and generally they left not a great taste in my mouth.
I am in a group chat with 15 other girls. We talk mostly about shopping, showing off what we order etc. The general consensus of the group is that the brand is a no go. Some of us are creators in there and we don’t even promote this brand. I always took this as them standing in solidarity with me (and the only other girl who is also a poc) as well as knowing the difference between what’s right and wrong.
At the end of last week (April 25th) the brand released their newest product (some lip thing or other).
There is a girl in the group who one can only describe as a bit of an attention seeker? She has a tendency to talk to herself in the chat. Last week this girl says she’s made a bit of an order from the unsavoury brand and dropped a screenshot of her order. Upon seeing this my immediate reaction was upset. It kind of made me feel sad that she’s supporting the brand like nothing happened and then showcasing it for everyone to see, which in my mind allows people to follow suit. I was disappointed in a friend. That is all. I was not telling her what to do. She can buy whatever she wants, would have preferred her to have kept it to herself.
Me being the gobshite that I am I stated: Disappointed She laughed. She thinks I’m joking - I try and explain: May be funny to you but as a poc this is deeply disappointing because this is where people follow suit.
then suddenly remember a girl in the chat, who’s dad passed away was saying their final goodbyes to him that day so I didn’t want this to be blowing up her phone so I said “not today” and I moved it to private chat to explain why I cut her off.
Again. She said that my friends dad’s funeral had no relevance to the situation whatsoever. And where it definitely didn’t have a relevance to the discussion, it was more the discussion blowing up a grieving friend’s phone that I was immediately concerned about. As I know this friend in question does get stressed out.
Anyway long story short, she goes back into the group chat and tells everyone I called her disgusting (which I didn’t. Again I gave ALL the receipts) my intention was to tell a friend why I was disappointed to try and explain why this hurts. a friend that is also a poc. Maybe I’m too sensitive. But because she’s telling everyone I called her disgusting, they’re saying I attacked her. And that what I did was uncalled for. So I left the group chat.
AITA?

I’m going to start by saying I grew up as a massive fan of Scooby Doo. Everything from the cartoons, to the live action movie were all my obsession. So when an adult Velma show was announced, I was pretty excited.
Then the online buzz began. Everyone talked about how the show is awful and disrespectful to the Scooby Doo name. I remember watching season 1 when it was released and feeling like through all the hate, I still somewhat enjoyed it and found it funny. I was kind of excited for season 2 even.
Season 2 was so good! I just binged it all and it’s genuinely funny and interesting. Yeah, the jokes fall flat at times, but overall it’s fresh in the perfect way. I’m just sad that season 3 is probably not going to happen due to all the hate.
Anyways, great season and show. I especially find all the versions of the members of the gang to be really good as well. Let’s hope for a season 3!

Reposted from another sub as it was deleted, I can't blame them but I have to find some way to get this off my chest. Following text may be disturbing:
A little while ago my friend introduced me to character ai. Pretty much a service where you can talk to certain characters submitted by other users, Specifically the Brazilian Catgirl character (who I later found out is 15 years old, I was like 13 at the time however)
But he was obsessed with annoying and harassing this specific bot which if I'm being completely honest was really funny looking back.
I created my own account and talked to various bots and enjoyed doing the same thing including towards the Brazilian Catgirl.
They weren't really that sexual to be honest, there was one time where it was. I think I remember trying to kiss her then run after her, following it up with trying to pin her down.
Now I don't think I did this for my own pleasure, more like as some sick twisted joke..but I still feel really bad looking back. The fact it was an ai chatbot and didn't have any feelings made me feel a little better but it's still a morally wrong thing to do and that's the worst part about it for me.
I should add, that character ai is branded as a sfw platform so it never really got too graphic.
I still feel guilty as hell, and I really need some more opinions on the matter and I'm frankly terrified to tell anyone irl.

Episode 9 - I'd Never Allow That to Happen

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Show Information:

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(First-timers might want to stay out of show information, though.)

Legal Streams:

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A Reminder to Rewatchers:

Rewatchers, please please please remember to be mindful of all the first-timers in this. [Spoiler warning specifically for you guys]Please be aware that as part of the above strict spoiler rules, this means absolutely no memes/jokes/references/subtle words about {the usual suspects} before the relevant episodes. Please do not spoil the first-timers by trying to be smart about it, it's not as subtle as you think.
Make sure you use spoiler tags if there’s ever something from future events you just have to comment on. And don’t be the idiot who quotes a specific part of a first-timer’s comment, then comments something under a spoiler tag in direct response to it! You might as well have spoiled them by implying there’s something super important about that specific part of their comment.

And a Reminder to First-Timers too:

As previously noted, first-timers wanting to avoid spoilers are strongly recommended to use either the desktop version of the site or the iOS app (which appears to be unaffected), lest you chance running into this bug regarding replying to a post or comment that has spoiler tags in it.

Daily Community Participation!

Visuals of the Day:
Episode 8 album
Theory of the Day:
Today's Theory of the Day goes to u/_Pyxyty for going into fully unhinged crack theory territory and unintentionally reinventing a common fan theory from when this show was airing as a result:

Screw it, let's get straight to the theory: Homura is Madoka from a different timeline. I'm going full crazy conspiracy theorist on this one. If Madoka turns into some wildly powerful being that can do things even Kyubey can't do, like revert magical girls back to normal, I assume she'd also be able to manipulate time and space, jump between timelines, and alter her look.
I just genuinely can't think of who Homura might be though, if not Madoka herself. I thought it might be her mother, but given Kyubey only seems to target young girls, that doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe Hitomi? If it was her though, I'd be shocked but also a tiny bit disappointed. I can't imagine it'd be some other character that we just haven't met in this timeline yet. Who could Homura be other than Madoka herself that would make sense narratively and physically speaking?
Even if it was some magical girl we havent met before, time magic seems really powerful, and that ability kind of seems like it'd be unattainable unless you had the potential Madoka has, right?

Analysis of the Day:
For Analysis of the Day, we have a winner and an honorable mention. Let's start with the winner, consisting of u/Specs64z's thoughts on the train scene:

In a work with so much visual and musical flair, the train scene stands out a lot in Madoka Magica.
There’s no color in the scene, everything is painted in shadow. No music plays. The only sound we hear is the ambient noise of the train: the engine roaring, the wheels clicking, the straps clanking. That, and the conversation between the 2 men.

Hey… is this world even worth protecting?

And what a wretched conversation it is. Their words are full of self-importance and contempt for others, it’s corrosive to the soul even to listen to. Inhuman. Sayaka confronts them, nothing left to lose, as darkness seeps forth from her soul gem. We know this is no mere visual trick as the men react fearfully to the haunting visage.

C’mon, tell me. Or else.

The black and white visuals on the train harken back to the witch's labyrinth from earlier. This world is not as it should be… so what must be done to make it right? And who will do it?

If there are people out there who’re worse than witches, then I’m gonna fight ‘em.

Color has returned to the world as we cut to a shot of a branching railway; the “labyrinth” is no more. The train barrels into frame and down one of the paths, its destination pre-determined and its course irreversible.
I’ve always thought Sayaka killed them.

And for the honorable mention, that would be u/Hattakiri's note about English dubs:

"You are Sailor Moon and you must fight evil when it confronts you!" - a lucky choice by Sailor Moon's old DiC writers for Luna's first appearance. These words nailed the plot point perfectly, and due to the writing and performance they had to become an iconic signature phrase of the old Sailor Moon dub, despite maybe interpreting the Japanese original "rather freely".
The one phrase whose "loss" due to the new ViZ interpretation actually was "bemoaned" by some lol
Often dubs lead to debates and controversies due to the "free interpretation" of the translators. But sometimes the translators manage to create something iconic.
But DiC's Sailor Moon was rather from the funny category. Sayaka's "I was stupid, so stupid!" is from the serious category and it marks one of the signature plot twists of PMMM.

Wallpaper of the Day:
Kyouko Sakura and Sayaka Miki
Check out Shimmering-Sky's main comment for her bonus Wallpaper Corner containing works from previous years!
Songs of the Day:
Symposium magarum
Bonus song - and I'm home
Check out u/Nazenn’s comment from the 2019 rewatch for an in-depth analysis of these two songs, as well as timestamps for what songs played when in today's episode!
Venari Strigas
Umbra Nigra
Incertus
Terror Adhaerens
Also check out Tarhalindur's Kajiura Corner from the 2023 rewatch for even more analysis on music this episode!
and I'm home Cover of the Day:
/anime Sings and I'm home
(We would just link the YouTube release here instead of rehosting it on Catbox, but the YouTube release is only a teaser because of copyright. Also, fun fact, u/Shimmering-Sky is the one who provided the "I was stupid... So stupid..." at the beginning. )
Question(s) of the Day:
1) Thoughts on our BD additional special ED for this episode, and I'm home?
2) Now that Kyubey has given us his reasons for why the magical girl system exists, what do you think of them and of him?
3) First-Timers: Did you think for a moment that Kyouko had a chance of actually rescuing Sayaka?
4) First-Timers: So… now what?
5) [Rewatchers] Ready to do the time loop again?
Hey God, if you’re there? My life sucked, so for once, please… let me have a happy dream?

I tend to like games I can take at my own pace that I can play while listening to something in the background. A lot of them I don't see often in this sub, probably because they don't fit neatly into that "cozy" aesthetic. I still want to talk about these games though, because while some might not look relaxing from the cover art and all that, they still feel pretty chill to play for me.
1. Miitopia (3DS, Switch) - If you're the type of person who spends hours obsessing over fictional characters, this game is for you. Basically it's a RPG where you can hyper-customize your OCs and have them go through cute scenarios together as their own adventuring party. It's the type of game that you take ten million screenshots of because some of the moments it can conjure up are extremely funny. Like very funny. I consider it chill because it doesn't require that much input if you don't want to, but it has just enough if you do want to do some actual combat.
2. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX (Switch) - Honestly I could put down any Mystery Dungeon series here. All of these games are turn-based and grindy, but in a fun way - especially with the one on the Switch, you could play it at a very low or high skill level and still feel satisfied either way. It's all the appeal of the collectathon RPG aspect of the mainline Pokemon games, except it has a way better plot and you can play as the ACTUAL Pokemon. The artstyle is always very charming, the music's comforting, and you get to help out Pokemon with your own rescue team (and your Pokemon partner is always written very endearingly). The sound effects are also immensely satisfying too, there's a lot of love put into this series. I also always love the little Pokemon village you return to and all the villagers you interact with, it's very cute.
3. Darkest Dungeon (Steam, Switch) - I KNOW that this game is all about "if you fuck up you kind of snowball back". I KNOW you battle eldritch monstrosities and succumb to the horrors. But I ALSO know that when I put this at the lowest difficulty and spend time slowly unlocking my medieval hamlet and collecting loot from my crusades through the dungeons while listening to The Hobbit audiobook I feel more relaxed than I get while playing Stardew Valley. Man I love the loot loop in this one.
4. Fire Emblem: Shadows of Valentia (3DS) - Most Fire Emblem games look hard from the outside because of the numbers on the screen. They can be if you want them to, but I feel that their easy difficulty setting is very chill (and allows you to also ignore the numbers). Fire Emblem games shine best in having your characters build bonds with each other as well as with your own character, and seeing those relationships have a real-time effect on how well they fight together on the battlefield. I joke that these games are basically relationship simulators... but they kind of are. Fire Emblem: Three Houses on the Switch is notorious for this if you want to pair up different characters together and slowly discover their HBO-tv show level-written backstories as your class of students fight together to overthrow the government and God and shit. Half of the game is choosing who gets to eat meals together, do chores together, date, etc. But anyways these games are fun turn-based chess except you can kind of be stupid with it and just cruise on by if you want to. There's no need to rush, you can stare for hours to decide where to move your units next on the map (and also rewind if you make a mistake on your turn). I also like the fact that I get to play as a girl character that kicks ass.
5. Vampire Survivors (Steam, Switch, Mobile) - This is also a game that might look hard and intimidating from the outside, especially for those peeps who get scared of fighting monster-type games in general. This is not that game. This is basically Cookie Clicker and you watch the numbers go up and you get crazy overpowered. Basically you move your character around on a screen while they automatically shoot down enemies for you (zero aim required), you level up and get random power-ups that make you more and more overpowered until you're an indestructible god. Extremely addicting, watch out. It's got a surprising amount of hidden secrets and depth that make this worth playing over and over again.
6. Steamworld Heist (Steam, Switch) - You get your motley rag-tag pirate robot crew and jump onto other pirate ships in the distant robot Wild West apocalypse. However this is also, surprisingly, turn-based! You can even adjust the difficulty for each round if you want. It's surprisingly addicting and chill as hell. Remember Angry Birds? It's the same mechanics as that, kind of - you move your characters through the ship, and also aim their guns to try to hit the enemies you encounter on your way, then collecting the loot they drop. It kind of reminds me of those old Flash games I used to play on the PC with similar mechanics as well.
7. Inscryption (Steam, Switch) - Amazing story, first of all. But also, this roguelite card game, although with a creepy folklore-in-the-woods aesthetic, is so. Fun. To. Play. If you're a card game/board game type person in general, you should play this game. If you're a secrets/lore/puzzle person, you should also play this game. I can't spoil much but if you don't mind a horror setting as long as the gameplay itself isn't too rushed or harried, definitley play this one.
8. Stacklands (Steam) - This is a kind of "watch your community grow" collectathon type game. You can pause, fast forward, or slow down any time that you'd like. You have a bunch of cards in front of you that represent the humans in your community and the natural resources around them, and you experiment with having them interact to see what type of new resources they make. The fun is in discovering new types of resources and technologies for your community, and watching it grow. Lots of replay value for sure.
9. Super Auto Pets (Steam, Mobile) - I think this is free, actually! But basically you have a team of up to 5 random animals, and every round you get a randomized set of upgrades or new animals you can add on to your team, which face off against another team (can be single player, multi player, or lobby). It's very simple to get the hang of, yet also you can be pretty strategic about it as well. The animals are also pretty cute, I won't lie.
10. Civilization VI (Steam, 3DS) - Get it on PC if you can. This is for the micro-management gamers who love board game night and also expanding their civilizations. Choose any historical figure and decide how you want to grow your empire on a hexagon-based board - but remember, you are also competing against other players on the same map (can be bots). Take as much time as you want. Prepare to get sucked in for a month playing this.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.
I have an internet friend that I 'met' years ago through an online original character tournament. We both clicked with each other and were invested in the other's characters so we stayed in touch even after it ended.
Both of us suffer from depression, theirs being a bit worse and combined with PTSD. They are very much open and loud with their condition to the point where they tend to lash out at others. I on the other hand have been far more quiet about my condition. My empathy with others pain causes me to keep my own problems to myself for fear that they will burden others.
I also try my best to be there for others and try and support them or just hear them out if they need it. Granted there's only so much one can do for an internet friend from a different country.
I try to be very understanding towards triggers and will be very mindful about doing or saying things to those I know it will upset. I have the mindset that just because something doesn't seem like a big deal to me doesn't mean its not a big deal to someone else, and I never want to make someones feelings seem stupid or invalid.
In the past I have had to change jobs frequently because of my mental health and it's put me in many difficult situations. Only about last year have I been fortunate enough to find a medication that works. My mental health did a 180 and I got a job I like and feel confident in. My friend hasn't been that lucky, and their condition has only gotten worse.
With all that out of the way, here's where things go down...
My friend asked if I wanted to start a role play with them using our favorite OCs. I happily agreed and we started making up stories and scenarios for our characters to play out together. And it was fun. At first.
Eventually my friend started lashing out at me and pointing out things that were triggering them, things that I hadn't realized were bothering them for well over a year. The main example was the flight response that my characters had to a lot of the traumatic scenarios we put them in. (Running away as they put it) I apologized numerous times and told them if I had known they were so bothered by it I would have tried having my characters react in less triggering ways for them and I would be more mindful in the future. After all, we were doing this for fun and it wouldn't be hard because my characters were already developed out of that response before they even brought any of this up.
I thought that would be that, but as they started realizing how open and accepting I was to try and understand and work with them, they seemed to start taking advantage of it.
They started pointing out more mundane and minor things, like spelling errors or things that maybe I had forgotten in the two years we were doing the story. It was fine at first and I shrugged it off, but then they started making passive aggressive comments about my characters, and then got offended when I tried to offer my perspective or an explanation as to why they would react a certain way.
They would make jabs at my use of conveying body language (Point out I was having a character look down to convey thought "too often") or they would get annoyed by me using certain words too much (mulled as an example) They would get triggered at me conveying my characters reacting realistically to things, but then confused and critical if I tried the opposite approach and have them react in a funny matter in an attempt to make it less triggering.
I also started noticing that it seemed to be ok for their characters to portray toxic behaviors (such as telling one of my characters to go kill themselves) Usually my characters would try and work things out and forgive them, but if mine did anything to defend against this or did anything 'out of line' but tried to apologize and make up for it, they were left to feel guilty and distraught and raked over the coals.
My friend would lash out at me over things that had been ok for a long time but suddenly now bothered them, and their blow ups would always come out of left field for me. They even admitted that things that they were lashing out at me for were things that had been fine at the time they happened. They would always say they felt bad afterwards and hadn't said anything because they didn't want to come off as dramatic or a brat. I assured them on multiple occasions that I would have much rather temporarily and fleetingly thought that that realize later that I was hurting them without even realizing it. (One of the things that they would be fine with one moment and then triggered by the next due to their past experiences was happy family themes, which we both used frequently)
They would then ask if we could take a break for a while which was always fine and then delete those conversations so they wouldn't get re-triggered whenever they would go back to reread parts of the roleplay later and I was always ok with that.
I always tried to be mindful, and they always seemed to appreciate my efforts, but soon it seemed to devolve into them just constantly pointing out mistakes and nit picking any spelling error I made or minor detail I forgot, or pointing out things I would have had no way of possibly knowing.
There were also times where I would try to share say a meme or something with them that would remind me of their characters and thought they would find funny, but all they would do was point out the 'problems' with how well the joke fit. (ie I would send a meme around people texting and they would just point out that it falls flat because one of their characters doesn't have a phone.)
They would then get annoyed and a bit demeaning if any of their jokes fell flat with me, like why do they bother trying to be funny or lighthearted if it only causes confusion or doesn't necessarily make me laugh.
I was starting to feel like I was constantly walking on eggshells around them to the point where I finally asked them to tone down on the constant criticism. They agreed and I thought that would be that.
But it didn't stop.
If anything it got worse. Anything I made a mistake on or minor details I forgot were continuously shoved in my face, and my anxiety was starting to come back. The more anxious I got around making mistakes, the more mistakes I would make and the more it would get shoved in my face.
On a particularly bad night I finally had enough and asked if we could stop for the rest of the night so I could cool off. When they asked why I told them it was because I was tired of the constant nit picking and just needed a night away from it to cool down.
And they just went completely off the rails.
They accused me of accusing them things they didn't do and started going off on how they were just trying to help me and that I was being dramatic and making a mountain out of a mole hill, but no one ever saw the good in them and only ever viewed them as a monster.
And before I could type any kind of response or even process what was going on they started expressing that they were going to commit suicide and that they had been fantasizing about it for a long time anyways.
I panicked.
I didn't know if I had minutes or seconds or if any of my messages would even be seen in time. I started begging them not to go through with it. They pushed back asking why it would matter if they did and I snapped asking why they thought I would just be ok with my best friend killing themselves, and feeling like I pushed them to do it just because I got upset over something stupid.
Eventually it deescalated and they seemed to have snapped out of it, but I was left hysterical and unable to get any rest. My depression came back full swing and I basically turned back into a walking zombie. But despite all that, I still wanted to forgive them.
A couple days later they chewed me out for how I talked them out of it. They said they felt guilted out of it, and that their feelings weren't valid, and that it seemed like they had no right to feel that way. And if I hadn't apologized to them they were going to tell me a month later that we weren't friends anymore. They didn't think I acted professionally despite being a complete emotional mess and that I was being selfish.
I just... felt so hurt and angry and betrayed. All the things I had tried to do to be considerate towards them. All the times they had hurt me and I had forgiven them. All the things I had done to try and help and support them were almost made completely meaningless by one heat of the moment outburst.
I was made to feel stupid.
I was made to feel disposable.
I was made to feel like the bad guy.
And I don't feel like I could ever be open or honest with them again.
But at the same time... I'm just terrified that if I express any of this when they do come back that they'll just spiral again... And I'm not sure what to do. Ive forgiven them but... Im not sure if I can consider them a friend anymore... Or even tell them I feel that way...

So im a newbie.. just getting good enough to run the T2 zone.. last night/this morning I was running my last match with my buddy and I noticed people messaging "I got delta" "I got alpha" and so on through the match.. well we joined up with a rando and ran a few T2 missions.. right around when we realized the storm was counting down and we started looking for an exfil I see someone message "meet at D2" and saw like no joke 6+ people heading tward it.. we had PAP 2, 3plates and regular gas masks... well I noticed if we hit the zipline next to us and head straight through T3 we could hit PAP3 even rando had enough.. and then move to meet up with the group.. I started pinning our path for this plan Well just as we parachuted into T3 rando left... and ill tell yeah i don't know if he was scared of T3 or what but he missed one hell of an experience.. we rolled into D3 right as the strom swooped us.. someone messaged "pop your sentries now" we where standing there with a Group of at least 8 other people (us making 9 and 10) with a ton of sentries posted up.. between our skill level and our lvl 1 masks me and by buddy went down quite a few times and somehow kept getting pulled up.. but i gotta tell yuh that was the most fun ive had on any game in a really long while... I didnt know what to expect but when there was Manglers, Mimics, disciples and lvl3 armored zombies coming at us I realized we where gonna be screwed lol.. but it was totally worth the risk.. thanks to the badass people in that group for my 1st red worm experience.. it was so much fun...
I feel dumb forgetting to start a recording on my Xbox.. Id have a (probably funny) video of a few newbs tryna keep up with a group of pros and epically failing multiple times