Before I start, apologies for this absolute wall of text.
So anyway I'm looking for tips to help me tune for handling, mainly in Horizon, but I'm hoping most of it would be easily translatable to Motorsport too. At the moment I tune ARBs, Suspension and Aero for handling based on the weight distribution of the cars and it works fine-ish but the same methods don't really translate to tuning tires or diffs so any help with them would be great. And gears are just annoying to tune looking for some guidance there too.

Tires

I'm assuming "optimal" tire pressure is based on weight, and that the difference between front and rear pressures is based on the weight distribution. So my thinking is a car with close to or exactly 50% distribution will have tires the same pressure at a value determined by how much it weighs. So with that assumption, is there a sort of scale or something to determine that value, like, "If the car weighs ~1000kg then optimal pressure is Xpsi, if the car weighs ~1200kg then optimal pressure is Ypsi" and so on.
Now lets say a car has 56% distribution, could we take the optimal pressure at 50/50 and then increase and decrease the psi values proportional to the difference in distribution? If so, how would we determine those values using the distribution difference of 6%? TBF this level of pissing about seems a bit unnecessary as it's easy enough to just try a few different pressure differences to find an approximate sweetspot; but if there is a way to "calculate" a "correct" value for this it would be nice to know!

Differentials

I'm guessing diff tuning varies massively between RWD and AWD cars and since I mainly drive AWD cars or convert them to AWD I'll just talk about AWD diff tuning here but feel free to give RWD diff tips too!
So firstly if you're not aware when you convert a RWD car to AWD and install a Race diff, the values seem to ALWAYS be the same. But cars that are already AWD tend to have very different values, for example here's the values for the 2017 Nissan GTR and for the Porsche 918 compared to the AWD conversion values:
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Car	Front accel	Front decel	Rear accel	Rear decel	Power bias
Nissan GTR	18	8	33	25	76
Porsche 918	23	13	68	28	60
Converted	30	10	55	13	60

​
When I'm tuning a car converted to AWD I usually use similar values to the values a stock AWD car with similar weight/ weight distribution. It does seem to work but not in all cars, so maybe all I need is tips on how to troubleshoot diff values? Is there maybe a process to work through the settings one by one and find a good value? Or maybe something simple like "If your car does X when entering/ exiting a corner, try increasing/decreasing Front/ Rear Accel or Decel", if that makes sense? I'm not sure diff tuning will make much difference so I'm happy to continue with my current methods but any tips here would be welcome!

Gears

Thankfully this time my question is more simple:
How in the spirit of horizon do you optimise gear ratios?
I usually use a Race 7-speed gearbox but the default values often don't seem like they're getting the most out of the engine, so how could I go about tweaking the values to that end? 1st and 2nd are usually easy for me to get right but when I start messing with 3rd - 7th I usually find myself making it slower.
Now I mostly use three distinct engine types in my cars. Either big "Racing V8" or "Racing Inline-6" engines or the Turbo Rally engines and they all have very different power curves, so essentially I just want to get a small understanding of roughly how to shape the gearbox ratios based on the type of power curve.
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Thanks in advance for any replies, and always remember; that's just the spirit of Horizon, innit?!

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If anyone's interested in and maybe wants to crituque the way I tune ARBs, suspension and aero then I'll summarise them below:

• ARBs Find range of values, Max = 65 Min = 1, Max-Min=Range = 64 For FRONT, multiply Range by weight distribution as a decimal For REAR, multiply Range by the reversed weight distribution as a decimal So for a car with 56% distribution, Front = 64 x 0.56 and Rear = 64 x 0.44
• Damping Find range of Rebound Stiffness values, Max = 20 Min = 1, Max-Min=Range = 19 For FRONT, multiply Range by weight distribution as a decimal For REAR, multiply Range by the reversed weight distribution as a decimal So for a car with 56% distribution, Front = 19 x 0.56 and Rear = 19 x 0.44 Then set Bump Stiffness values to exactly or just under half of the respective Rebound values
• Aero If car has Front & Rear aero tuning available, I try to counter the difference in weight distribution So with a car with 56% distribution that weighs 1400kg is "6% biased to the front". 6% of 1400kg is 84kg so the car is 84kg heavier toward the front, so set the Rear Aero value 84kg higher than the Front Aero value If it's not possible to set values that far apart due to tuning constraints then just set the maximum possible difference. If there is room for a difference that size then set the values higher or lower based on whether you want more speed (lower aero values, less downforce) or slightly better handling (higher aero values, more downforce). Keep the difference between the Aero values the correct amount to counter the weight distribution

I (26F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (29M) for two years now and he's been ghosting me.
We had a fight because I raised the concern to him that I cannot express my feelings to him without him becoming defensive and angry and ultimately wanting to break up. I told him that when he does things that upset me or I just need comfort or reassurance, I cannot come to him to talking about my feelings bc he views any question of his behavior as lack of trust in him and therefore disrespect and that means I don't want to be with him. It has been exhausting trying to hide my emotions from him in order to "keep his peace." But I think this is just breaking us, or at least me, down bc we need to be able to talk about issues in our relationship. So, after another incident of him doing something that made me upset and wanting to talk to him, I started hating the fact that I had to sit with my pain festering inside just for the sake of not bothering him. I eventually caved in after months of trying to never piss him off and he did as he always does, threaten to leave and say I need Psych help and invalidate me. He said he wanted a break bc I "need to work on things." I told him I don't want a break, I want to comprise or just break up with me if he was that unhappy. We talked for another hr or so and we hashed out a way for me to raise my concerns and at least have him hear me out without him getting mad (essentially I can ask questions 1 time and then accept his response and drop the issue). And he said if I want reassurance then just ask for a hug or something. Anyway. To me, that was improvement so I was like okay if you can do that I think that's a good start to communicating and he agreed to do so. That was Wednesday at about 9 am. At 4 pm on Wednesday, I texted him to ask if he was okay bc we just had a big fight, and he didn't respond. He is the kind of guy that takes space when he is upset so I was like okay I will just wait for tomorrow. Thursday just before 9 am, I text him good morning, he says "good morn". I ask how he is, he says, "I'm okay". I say okay and then say that my family will be here tomorrow to help me move out of my apt. He replies "okay". That kinda hurt bc he apparently didn't care that I was about to move out of state and begin our long distance. He didn't want to make up even before I left the state... I then asked him, "Are we still together?" To which he replies, "Yup". I say, "Okay". I then decided to just leave him alone. But it hurt really bad knowing he didn't want to make up before I moved away. I had to pack and movd out while I cried and checked my phone constantly just hoping he'd say, hey come see me before you go or something. But nope. Nothing. So I moved out on Saturday. Now, it's Sunday night, 8:45 pm and still, nothing. That's Thursday to Sunday with nothing. Not even a, did you make it to the new place safe? Or anything. I cried so much and my heart ached so badly I felt like I was going thru a break up...
Idk how to interpret this. Is he taking space? Am I crazy for feeling like I just went thru a break up even tho he said we were still together? Is his behavior to think that me bringing problems up in a relationship actually a problem? His whole thing is, "why can't we just be fine?" He thinks a relationship should have 0 conflict or issues and I just can't keep painful things to myself anymore, I need him to at least acknowledge that sometimes he says or does things that upset me. Is that wrong? Should relationships really "just be fine"?
Honestly at this point I feel like he's trying to wait me out to see if I will come crawling back to apologize for asking him to talk about feelings or break up with him bc he doesn't want to be the bad guy. If he is that unhappy, I wish he would end it, bc I'm still trying as hard he doesn't even care if I'm around or not.
Can someone please tell me how normal relationships handle conflict, insecurity, and reassurance. Can someone please tell me if his behavior is a red flag for you? Am I the red flag?
And, BTW, I tried explaining to him that me raising a concern and him always treating me with a break up or break only makes me more insecure each time, and he dismissed it. We have also talked about how ghosting hurts me and he said if he needed space he would tell me...which he didn't.
TL;DR : me 26F and bf 29M of 2 yrs had a fight bc I am tired of hiding my feelings of what's wrong in the relationship and what bothers me for the sake of his peace and now he's ghosting me for going on 3.5+ days. How do normal couples fight? How do normal couples resolve insecurity and problems in a relationship?
Thank you ❤️

I can’t copy and paste everything here just in case, but here’s the gist:
1) Boss and I have a contentious relationship anyway. She is openly hostile and I’ve reported her to HR. She in turn characterizes me as “negative” whereas others in the company praise me for my efforts and positivity. I can’t figure out her issue with me. We’ve only worked together a few months and occasionally she’s nice to me, then she goes back to being rude and abrasive.
2) Major staff changes and survey problems arose late Friday afternoon. She asked me to send her a draft of an email before sending it out to all staff. I called her and emailed her multiple times to get clarification on certain details I missed during a meeting, because I was tending to another issue. She texted me late Friday saying she couldn’t talk. I finally sent her the draft around 5:30 PM. At the top, I documented factually, that I am missing some details and need clarification, and told her that I tried several times to reach her.
3) She writes to me Friday night that the due date for emailing all staff was before 5 PM (not her original, verbal directive) and that what I wrote about trying to reach her “reads as passive aggressive.” She provided details and edits and told me again I missed the due date to email staff.
4) I’m just seeing her messages now, as I was dealing with an emergency with my partner on Friday night and Saturday morning. Don’t want to go into the details for privacy reasons.
5) I made the edits and emailed all staff just now.
6) How do I respond to my boss privately about her accusation that I’m passive aggressive? HR doesn’t take me seriously. This boss has had to apologize to all of us directors in the past for how her emails come across, but she continues to be nasty, while I get accused of being negative. The truth is, I’m a nervous wreck about being fired and the reason I documented was because I didn’t want to be in trouble for something that wasn’t my fault.

I am doing cursive lettering carves 0.08" deep onto 1/4"(really more like .21") birch plywood and then filling the words with epoxy. The problem I am having is a 30 degree vbit starts to take away detail such as the oo in the letter B or the uncut areas in the loops of cursive L's and Y's when carving deeper than 0.025" or so, so I recently bought a 15 degree vbit off of Amazon for $20. I then started running into issues setting this bit up using inventables easel. I thought I finally had it figured out and it was cutting fine then suddenly after about 10 really small carves of names like Bella or max it suddenly started to tear the wood up really bad and I realized it had already went dull. Now I just spent $42 on an Amana vbit of the same angle and I am worried about setting it up. I really don't want to burn out another bit as I am in college working part time and don't have money for it. Anybody else have to set up a 15 degree vbit on easel or has another solution for me I would really appreciate it

Hi,
I am in a pecuilar situation and would really appreciate some help. I graduated from my masters program (thesis based) in the last month and am in the process to apply for PR after finishing my application for pgwp.
I learnt that I do get points for working on my thesis (NoC code (41201) - graduate research assistant). My questions are:
* Should I use the above noc code or based on the type of work (data science and machine learning), file under a different noc code.
Also if anyone has any similar experience, can you please list out the instructions.

Greetings all,
New to this sub. I live in Western WI and am looking at purchasing a can or two. My local gun shop does not have the best variety, and I'm not entirely confident in making the purchase online. I know of several shops across the border over in MN that have the variety, good pricing, and the kiosks to make it easy.
My questions- if anyone is from the Western WI area (near the twin cities), do you know of any reputable dealers that sell suppressors? A few "find a kiosk" websites show some "companies", but the address looks sketchy as can be, and the websites do not work, and it just screams red flag.
If not, (and apologies if this is a dumb question)- am I able to buy in MN? I know I can purchase long guns over there with my MN permit, but not sure what the rules are on suppressors.
Any guidance would be appreciated!

I am all over the place, so apologies if things don't flow very well.
It's been 2 weeks.
We were together for almost a decade until he told me he did not love me anymore and was in love with someone else he met online. This was completely out of the blue.
Is it normal to throw a relationship this long away at a drop of a hat? We literally had plans made for the weekend before he ended things.
I found out that he was also cheating by having emotional affairs during our marriage. He lied to me and has been lying to people about being married and telling all these lies to people. People who were friendly to me are not anymore.
To add to the heartbreak, some of our mutuals friends want nothing to do with me because of his lies. I have feelings of unfairness and injustice when I see people we both know give him support and love while I get the opposite. For me, it feels like he is making himself into a victim leading me to doubt and question everything I have done in our relationship.
I don't have it in me to tell everyone what happened because despite it all I don't want to be cruel because everyone needs friends and these are the closest ones he has. I lost many friends in this relationship and going through something like this alone is hard.
Our relationship wasn't perfect and we were both really suffering with our mental health. I had to carry so much emotional labor while he had a lot of pressures of trying to manage his mental health and me. I am just upset about us parting ways without even trying to get help first to see if our relationship can be fixed.
There is anger, but I can't really hold on to it because I know too much about him and hold empathy for him to really hate him. It would be so much easier to hate.
I question my sanity and perspective of everything that happened in our relationship.
I just don't understand why I had to go through a breakup that was like this. All the lies, manipulations, and hurt. I am so confused and tired from trying to understand his actions.
I trusted him to treat me with respect and not lie. I trusted him to do the right thing no matter how hard it can be sometimes. I am aware enough to know that not everything works out in life and that's OK. Just kindness and some empathy at the end.
I am struggling a bit because I still have to see him and he is acting like everything is ok and that he didn't destroy the foundations of my life.
I know I have to let it all go and I will. It just feels so lonely to be where I am right now.
I did my best and gave more than I had because I love him.
Faking mental fortitude until I get out of this heartbreak chapter of my life.

For whatever reason the controler setup won't recognize most of my keyboard when trying to bind. The arrow keys work and so do the keys on the edge like Enter, Backspace, Ctrl, Shift, etc. But none of the letters or numbers are registering. I used to play Exiled Kingdoms a lot on the same Chromebook and I never had any issues with control binding so I'm a tad confused. Any help would be great!

Welp, its been a while, sorry y’all for taking so long to get this update out, been absolutely swamped at work putting out fires with my hair on fire for the last 6ish month, so here the cliff notes version of the wedding and some post wedding shit.
-lead up was boring, shitton of emailing back and forth between me, Stella, other wedding people, venues, vendors, etc
-Me and Alex had some pretty deep conversations over the week and reaffirmed the importance of our continued friendship
-Shit was really fucking awkward the first night we were there for dinner nil, especially considering both Alex’s stepsister Sam (32F) and Stella younger sister and MoH Diana (29F) were already staying there, (we stayed at an Airbnb within walking distance of Alexs house). I went into event work mode pretty quick and that smoothed things out right quick and put Stella at ease.
-I spent most of the lead up to the wedding either at the ceremony/reception site doing liaison/set up (gaffing, running cables, setting up monitors, hanging and focusing, building shit etc) or running around picking shit/people/shitty people up with Sam
-My GF, Alice (29F), was kinda miffed about the whole thing, she’s never worked a wedding before, just attended, so she expected it to be like 50% working 50% vacation, when it ended up being more likely 90% me.working and 10% vacation. She spent most of her time helping Alex out with wedding support related shit or gaming on my laptop when she gassed out or got too overwhelmed.
-Wedding was a fun mess, tons of unrelated drama, Stella sure knows how to design a beautiful ceremony and plan a fucking party, I’ll give her credit for that, didn’t get to enjoy much of it since I was working the wedding with a few other people in the wedding party more than attending, but c’est la vie. Ceremony took fucking forever though, felt terrible for all the bridesmaid who had to wear heels through that shit.
-Unfortunately there was no gotcha moment or come to Jesus mount where I cot the full story as to why SHTMFF, but based on what I observed while working the wedding I think Ive been able to piece together roughly what went down
Why wasn’t I the best man?
I think this had more to do with Stellas parents Ken and Karen (60’s), than her, although she still doesn’t like me, my main reasoning:
-Ken and Karen were paying for the majority of the wedding, more than Stella, Alex, and Alex’s parent combined
-Alex and Stella sketched out pretty early what they wanted the wedding to look like, throughout the process Stella made several significant changes out of the proverbial blue (EX: they originally agreed on a smaller wedding something like 50-60 people, then one day Stella wanted a bias wedding). Alex didn’t really care all that much sand just figured she changed her mind, he just somehow missed that most of these changes occurred after Stella either had a phone call or in person meeting with her parents (which is on brand for him)
-Her parents were very standoffish towards me (to be expected, feelings mutual) and made a lot of, frankly weird comments about Stellas younger, totally not a cokehead, brother Chase (23M), often times in comparisons between us that flattered him (and kept insisting he was “perfect best man material”)
-Alex has barely met Stellas parents, maybe a dozen times over the last 5 years, every time they visit for the holidays Stella has them leave early for whatever reason and Stella rarely inmates calls with them
-Stella acts really fucking weird around her parents. Around everyone else she’s a badass modern women but around her parents she gets super meek (EX: her mom asked her to go drive to some specific store over an hour away to get her a specific food item in the middle of wedding planning shit, and she just did it without any protest and left the rest of the wedding party in a lurch. When she got back three hours later her mom took like two bites then threw it away). If I hadn’t seen this shit with my own two eyes I wouldn’t have believed it, it was that bizarre.
-Lots of other innocuous shit that individually means nothing but when combined to together provide a decent amount of circumstantial evidence
-So here’s what I think happened, roughly: Ken and Karen wanted Chase to be the best man in the wedding, Alex really wanted me to be the best man. Rather than make a choice Stella appeased both parties telling them what they wanted to hear while making no actual decision. The longer it went on the more complex the lying got, when Alex had his breakdown Stella saw a way to get out from under her Gordian knot of lies by taking advantage of the crisis. Unfortunately for her Alex came to his senses before the wedding, started asking questions, and when push finally came to shove she chose her relationship over whatever the fuck is going with the family, much to their apparent chagrin.
Why does Stella not like me?
I have two main guesses here:

1. I swear, a lot, I tend to forget most people don’t use the work fuck as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition, conjunction, interjection, numeral, article, and determiner Since I was working the wedding and in I was on my best behavior and cut down on my swearing by a good 90%, which led me to noticing that any time swear, or anyone for that matter curses, Stella has a little grimace/cringe reaction. Stella herself also rarely curses, and if she does its something pretty small like “hell” or “dammit”, followed by a quick apology. It’s probably exacerbated by the fact that in spite of my generally “unprofessional” behavior I hold a fairly professional job, the dissonance can bother folks.
2. Politics, and before people freak out, I’m somewhere between a democratic socialist and socialist on the political spectrum, I am a far cry from conservative,, but for Stella that’s not far enough left, as from what I can tell she’s either a tankie or tankie adjacent. This has been more or less confirmed to me based on her social media engagement relating to the major geopolitical events of the last 6 months or so. Probably exacerbated by the fact that my job involves working in geopolitics so I am parts of the “repressive imperialist western system”.

And as it turns out I’m not the only person in the wedding who isn’t super fond of Stella, found my flock so to speak
Post wedding shit
-Alex and Stella had a healthy baby girl, named Iris, me and Sam are the godparents.
-Me and Alex have been talking a lot more (for whatever reason he asks me for childcare tips, like bruh, I’m just as lost as you here), and have set up a weekly gaming sash where were slowly slogging through BG3 with Sam and Matthew
-AFAIK Alex and Stella are in couples counseling, which seems to be helping from my vantage point, Stella was weirdly against it, but Alex pushed for it so he could be a better husband to her, and she relented
-AFAIK Stellas already back at work and on most of her pre-baby schedule
-Alex’s stepsister Sam has been checking in on them periodically and according to her there’s no major red flags atm
-Stella actually texts/emails me stuff now, its mostly baby pictures, but its a step in the right direction and I appreciate it (I send cat pictures in response)
Hopefully this is the last update, my life got far too interesting for that month and with my current workload I doubt I could mentally handle more drama.

TLDR: Nothing really interesting happened, hopefully things are looking up

I have been out for several years now. Initially I did a CSP program to become a tower tech. 2 years later I was sick of that industry, the hours and the employeemployee relationship was worse than anything I have seen in the military. I am older now, all "used up" you could say physically. I want to work in tech specifically Cybersecurity. Last year I tried a semester of community college with a Major in CS. Got discouraged (never liked traditional classroom lectures) failed calculus ended up dropping all my courses, math was never my strongest subject. I applied to the VET TEC program ignorant of that fact that it was coming to an end, I received my COE acceptance letter the day that program ended. I have applied for V and RE with the VA waiting on that.
Are there any other options to accelerate me being able to get entry level employment in Cybersecurity? What bootcamps do people recommend? I have read tons of old threads from years ago and many people say degrees or certain certs are better obtained outside of those bootcamp programs. Anyone who can give me guidance I would greatly appreciate it. I have been unemployed living off of 60% disability for two years and desperately need something even if its just part time, I don't need the highest paying best position just something so I don't feel like such a failure while I am losing time.
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TLDR - I am in desperate need of employment. Due to my disability, skills and interests I would like to get into cybersecurity ASAP. IDC if its low pay or part time I will find my way to advancement later on.

Hello, my name is Jonathan Kerr and I’m looking for help paying for a mistake in my life. Growing up I had always had two dreams: 1. Becoming a great husband and father 2. Becoming a cardiovascular surgeon. The most important of the two was that I wanted nothing more than to be a great husband and father, and make sure I did everything to provide for a happy and stable family after growing up a child of divorce myself.
I chose to become a cardiovascular surgeon because the heart has always fascinated me and I had the mental fortitude to succeed in classes as well as a desire to fix many of the issues that we have in healthcare today... I’m sure we’ve all encountered a doctor worn out by the long hours.. exhausted by the same cases day after day. Sometimes ignoring the things we’re trying to tell them.. And instead of treating us as human beings, we are treated as a task to check off. This has led to most patients becoming nonchalant about their health because when asked questions they need to settle worry, they are brushed off. I wanted nothing more than to become a part of changing that..
On my journey, I excelled in my undergrad but had only applied to 3 schools albeit on my part it wasn’t the smartest choice to apply to so few.. but money was always tight and I just couldn’t afford 100-200 dollars for every application. I tried to stay as close to home as possible, growing up in a split home.. made me want to keep my family as close as possible. Long distance wasn’t something that I thought I could handle.
After the first time I decided to talk to an admissions dean and they suggested nursing to get clinical experience and boost my applications experiences there, so I did. I worked in an OR on a lung transplant team. I loved my job, I had an amazing partner that I thought I’d live the rest of my life with ( I even bought an engagement ring for when she was ready— because I had money I started saving from our first date to get my dream ring I started designing at 8yo and could afford it), there wasn’t really anything missing but the feeling that I could offer more. I watched some surgeons slack off, some excellent at their job, some take time to talk to patients, some ignore them entirely. I decided this would be a great place for me to start doing more to get that second dream and be more of a solution.
So my partner supported me, she was magnificent at all of it. Helped me study, helped me pick schools, helped me practice interviews, everything I needed to succeed and I did. Issue was that even though I asked to only apply to schools she was comfortable with me being at distance wise, I ended up at the farthest one. I was nervous it could affect our relationship but she assured me we would be okay and it was only temporary. Within the first two weeks at the school I was written up for a professionalism violation because I, albeit with an upset tone but without any rude language or raising my voice, asked a professor what kind of doctor she was —implying (PhD or MD- we had both and it’s the first weeks so how was I supposed to know) because she had told everyone the answer to a question earlier in the week and it was on the quiz she marked that same answer incorrect and refused to acknowledge what she told/taught us, just told everyone to study better. I was trying to tell her that you can’t lie to patients in clinic. I had some experience from nursing and it isn’t fair to our patients not to own up to our own mistakes, even if you mark us wrong please admit it or you’re teaching these young students that behavior is okay.
Even though within 10 minutes we hugged and I apologized to the professor after talking to my partner and she explained that my phrasing may have been offensive, 2 weeks later I was told I could possibly be expelled and would need to do a 1 year professionalism program, drug screening, IQ test, mental disability test, and physical. I complied with the program, but felt very isolated at this school from the start due to a fear that any verbal mistake or lack of perfect phrasing could get me expelled. So it was hard to make friends. My parents being over 5 hours away visited a combined 3 times in 2 years. My partner was very attached to her family and I told her it was okay, saw me roughly 30-50 days out there in 3-5 day chunks that slowly got shorter and farther apart over the 18 months.
I started missing family events to study to pass exams or giving up sleep/studying to make a drive back for a birthday party. It slowly was breaking me, I cried everytime I came home that I was afraid that this career would give me 1 dream but destroy the other and I’d never be there for my family. My partner assured me that it was only a short time and continued supporting me back to strength no matter how many times I tried to fold. I listened to more surgeons talk about making the most of the time with their kids or waiting weeks to see their partners in other states. I witnessed more doctors on rotations that would just say “oh well” about miscommunications between specialists or it’s written down they’ll find it. I witnessed nurses over using sedatives on patients for “agitation” and the descriptions of agitation were just raising voices or doing weird stretches. I witnessed physicians tell me I took too long talking to patients when I tried to understand their underlying issues and one patient that this came up had been an alcoholic with liver disease and through our discussion he came to ASK ME to get him help with his drinking to better his health. In other cases I watched people who had their “capacity for decisions” taken away and when talking with them it seemed very questionable if this was just stated to force a treatment on them or hold them in the hospital. The things I was witnessing were weighing heavier on me: if I’d ever be able to be a solution passing orders down to nurses? Would they follow them or even over use them? would correct decisions be made if communication by all physicians isn’t the same level of effort? And much more ran through my brain.
With the way I commit to jobs and activities I push myself to keep going until the problem is fixed or finished to the best of my abilities, I started to see all the extra hours I’d start putting in to fix this and the hours with my future family disappear. During this time I called that partner, because her sister said she was worried about her, and she broke up with me over the phone. I won’t do specifics, because I still really don’t understand what happened, but I’ve found my peace through prayer and breakthrough, as well as witnessing what I’d call some miracles.
I attended school for a little longer after this, but the fire wasn’t there. I helped patients and felt great in my last few days pushing myself to do more when the others seemed to be done with a case, I even got complimented by an attending that I would be a great clinician and have a great skill set.
Sadly for that attending and his compliments, I decided I needed to take a leave of absence to figure things out. So I left school and I’ve been home a few months and seeing therapy to discuss everything. I came to the decision that this dream isn’t worth losing my most important dream, because a career will always be just a career and I can do so much at point of care as a nurse.
When my grandmother got cancer last year I thought I’d lose her and called her weekly but now I see her every day and it makes me monumentally happier. She’s recovering well and just got news a few weeks back we don’t need radiation or chemo! I’ve developed more self esteem and self love over this time as well. I’m not sure of anyone’s beliefs but I’ve found comfort in Gods answers for me and I’m sure life will lead me back to that second dream if I keep pushing forward. The reason I’m on here, starting other posts to different Reddit pages and developing a gofundme is that i have ~$300k in student loans.
I’ve written letters to prominent religious figures for prayers, letters to prominent wealthy figures in media for assistance, and I have interviewed and got a new job to start tomorrow April 29th as a cardiovascular nurse and they even offered to train me for first assist in surgery.
My dad is allowing me to stay with him to save on rent and put all my money towards my loans that I can and help take care of my grandma, like I said I want to and enjoy working hard Im not asking for all my loans just help with the new large sum added by the degree that was a mistake, at this rate even with assistance programs i wont be able to do anything but pay on them till my late 30’s. I don’t want to keep imposing on my father as kind as he is and I want to pursue my true dream, after proper healing of course, of being an amazing partner and father that can be there for his children without pushing for overtime constantly. I want to be the dad at all the sporting events, the uncle at every birthday, visit my grandma often, the husband who cooks for his wife after work because she shouldn’t have to every day.
If there’s anything even a dollar it would help me immensely every day, and I will continue to find every way possible to keep pushing for ways to succeed in getting that dream. If you’d like to make a contribution to the loan account directly feel free to reach out and ask for the information. I passed all the book courses for anyone curious and I’m free to answer any questions if you text me at 724-302-9272, please ask anything you need I will have to respect the privacy of people involved though. Don’t forget though, while their are many stories of ways that I saw the system fail physicians and them in turn start to give up on the patients or lack effort, there are plenty of physicians out there I’ve seen giving up everything to see patients health prosper and make a solution out of the most dire situations.
I just can’t commit to giving up my family to make that happen. God bless you all, and I hope everyone finds their dream no matter how big or small.
https://paypal.me/silverjon?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

I applied for a visit (tourism) visa to Spain, the trip is on May 8th. Submitted my documents on the 10th of April and received my passport on the 25th (they had to reschedule delivery as I was not home, so was meant to receive on the 23rd of April)
Attached documents:
Return air tickets (non refundable) Booked accommodation (refundable) Letter from work.
Lastly, I used a visa consultant to book an appointment since I couldn't get an appointment myself (tried multiple times)
Plan everything a months ahead so you can book an appointment without having to pay extra. Good luck to everyone.!

Am I being too cynical? I'm assuming Carl and Tana aren't real people looking for a house, but rather that a realtor chose a creepy handwriting typeface while trying to buy my house for a bank, a developer, or someone trying to build another faux chalet in the area.
Or do we think this is an attempt by a legit family to try to buy a house? In which case, sorry no I'm not selling, but I'll at least cheer for Carl and Tana and the other families trying to live in nova.

Yeah, it's me, the annoying guy with another lore-discussion.
Today I'd like to talk about White Space and the black lightbulb inside of
I. Let's start with White Space :
With White Space, we don't really know all that much about it, but we can use the sources we have and symbolism to try and make some connections.
I.1) Here's what Omocat said in an interview about it:

The idea of the White Space is based on the ability of some people to completely isolate themselves when a traumatic happens. They isolate their mind and travel through the White Space to relieve their memories.

What we can take away from this is that it represents a psychological, trauma-related concept which affects memory, specifically relieves them.
Both of these are further supported by other elements of the game.
I.2) Branch Coral:

To be in WHITE SPACE is to be nothing.
WHITE SPACE is emptiness, a home without warmth.
A place to survive, but not to live.

What's especially interesting here is the first line.
I do not think it's meant to be taken literal, as being 'nothing' is neither really possible nor does it apply to Sunny.
It more than likely a metaphor or paraphrasing for something else.
In this case I generally see 2 ways to take this line, and they aren't mutually exclussive either. They are:
I.2.a) 'To be nothing' can be seen as a paraphrasing for the same thing what 'to completely isolate themselves' mentioned in I.1) is.
While you cannot be literally nothing, a sufficient isolation and detachment can be seen as a fitting paraphrasing for this.
Generally this sounds very reminiscent of the concept known as 'Dissociation':

Dissociation is a concept that has been developed over time and which concerns a wide array of experiences, ranging from a mild emotional detachment from the immediate surroundings, to a more severe disconnection from physical and emotional experiences. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality, rather than a false perception of reality as in psychosis.

I.2.b) 'To be nothing' can be seen as what memory loss does to a person.
People are defined by their memories and experiences and thus a person who lost their memories can be seen as their 'identity' being compromised, becoming 'noone' or 'nothing' in an identity-related context.
And that actually brings us to the next point:
I.) Upon entering White Space:

Welcome to WHITE SPACE. You have been living here for as long as you can remember.

Once again this lines up with what Omocat stated in I.1), this time the part about 'relieving memories'.
What this line implies is that Sunny does not remember his life before living in Head Space.

Conclusion of I):

Even though our sources on White Space are very limited, they ultimately paint a clear enough picture to actually pin-point what is supposed to represent:
Given it's trauma-context, link to Dissociation and Amnesia, I reach the conclusion that what is supposed to represent is 'Dissociative Amnesia'.
II. Now, let's get to the Black Lightbulb.
II.a) We know even less about it. I couldn't really find more than one written source on it.
Once again, this source is the Coral Branch:

Even still, your conscience cannot be erased. It will always find a way in.
Even in WHITE SPACE, it will take the form... and if one wills it, something will be formed to subdue it.
A hanging black light bulb... the repression of an idea.

There's a lot to unpack here.
For one, the particular phrasing of 'willing' it into existence implies that it's not some sort of subconcious mechanism, but actually something that is being done consciously and intentionall.
And its purpose is subdueing... Something. 'The form'. What 'form' this specifically is, he doesn't clarify. Though I think I canactually deduce what it is. Here's a hint: I already told you. More on that later.
Now, there's one more thing.
...it's not actually stated to be about memory. He specifically refers to it as the 'repression of an idea'. This makes sense on a purely aesthetic level since usually 'lightbulb = idea'.
II.b) Now for this point I can't recite any quotes.
Rather than being about what we are being told about it, it's about it's shown to do.
The lightbulb for most of the game is a prop. While it can be inspected, nothing else can be done with it.
This changes on the night of 1DL. At this point Sunny awakens as himself in White Space and smashes the lightbulb and a boss-rush ensues.
After clearing the phobia-phases you come face to face with the main Something.
That is the 'form' the lightbulb had 'subdued', as mentioned in II.a).
Generally speaking the entire purpose of the black lightbulb is to 'repress' the 'truth.'

Conclusion and problems of II):

In general it's purpsose is to 'repress' the 'truth' judging by how it is being depicted in the game. Now, considering Coral Branchs dialogue ('wills it') I do not think it represents 'repression' as in the clinical subconcious concept, but rather the more coloquial meaning of simply trying to block it out of ones consciousness.
And that's where the problems start.
First of all, describing it as 'the repression of an idea' doesn't exactly make all that much sense, if any at all. Even if I look at it from a very liberal symbolic or metahprical sense, using the word 'idea', while very much befitting the imagery, does not at all match the purpose it is supposed to have.
An idea is more of 'thought' or 'suggestion', something that you come up with or that is proposed to you. Its meaning is too far away from a memory to make the connection work, and thus using the word 'memory' or alternatively just 'truth' would have been a a lot more consistent wording.
This wording feels oddly suspicious as it genuinly appears to me as if the game is intentionally dodging the question of what the lightbulb exact target actually is.
The other problems is that the way it is being set up is in competition and clashes with what White Space is representing.
Given all of what I mentioned before there is the awkward implication that those 2, while superficially similar, actually represent different concepts, which even show in the dichtomy of their colour-symbolism:
White Space being white is a fitting analogy for how DA wipes memories 'blank' and 'empty'. The colour black on the other hand is pretty much universally associated with a different kind of loss of information, namely 'covering up'.
White Space is completely blank and leaves no trace of anything before or even that there was anything before at all, while with the black scribbling over you can actually tell that something has been there but had been redacted.
A fitting analogy is using an eraser to erase the letters of a piece of text as compared to simply blacking out the text. One leaves a white sheet of paper while the other leaves scribbled out text.
But the most glaring issue is that according to various other sources White Space had predated the lightbulb, but also that it continues to exist after the lightbulb is already gone. Given White Spaces connection to trauma it's safe to assume that only came into existance when Mari died.
Omoris battle happens there and on both Neutral and Bad Endings you end up in White Space for a short period of time. In all of these instances the lightbulb is no more and the 'truth' has been remembered. The only ending on which it actually disappears as well is the Good Ending.
This behaviour does not really make any sense given its status as a representation of amneisa.

What are your thoughts on this? Maybe I missed something here, lemme know if I did!

gf (18f) and I (19f) took a month long break from our 9month long relationship because they had anger issues. they grew up in this environment, and this is how they interact with their parents. now they do it to me out of habit whenever they are stressed. once while we were hanging out they were jealous of a close friend. they were getting aggressive, they were increasingly more loud before they apologized after I began to break down sobbing. gf told me they were stressed, and asked me if they could sort my book shelf to calm down and focus on something. i said no because i planned on sorting them later. gf stomped to the shelf, pushing all of my books onto the floor. gf turned to me, then angrily demanded me if i wanted to sort them so badly then do it. gf told me when they come back all the books better be sorted. i cleaned them up while crying and they left to go chat with my sister i broke up with her months later, gf begging me to stay after they got mad and hit me (nit hard) a while later i told my then ex-gf i’d give them another try if they can improve mentally, and they’d make a great gf if they werent unable to manage anger. onto the current problem going on i told my close friend, Janet, about everything on a call while sobbing. she knew my gf in person, and was shocked. while single, i got into therapy, and i went to the phych ward.
When i arrived back to school, janet and ex were friends. it was nice to see, but irked me a bit knowing that i explained in detail to her what happened to me for 6 months. weeks passed, me and gf got back together and at this point they would regularly hang out without me. gf’s behavior seriously improved. they are amazing and now take anger medication. we are very happy. Janet was slowly becoming distant. my breaking point was last week. gf has been sober from Nicotine for almost a year with my help. Janet vapes often and i asked if she would try to not pressure my gf into vaping or anything. she agreed. I asked my gf if she could try to make sure she keeps her cool and she “you have nothing to worry about”. but of course that didnt happen. when she was with Janet, she impulsively hit Janet’s vape after asking for it. they both agreed not to tell me because i would be upset. i found out because my gf told me a week later. i told her i had to consider breaking up with her because she lied to me. Janet told me I shouldnt break up with my gf over it because its something we can “work through”. i took a few days with minimal contact from both relationships, before i was okay with seeing them again. Janet apologized and so did gf. but atp i didnt like them hanging out. janet says what happened to me was really horrible, but her actions show she doesn’t actually give a shit. she doesnt text me anymore, but texts my gf 24/7 . i just wished she cared. shes honestly not even my best friend anymore. shes my gf’s best friend.
does this make me a bad person?

TL;DR Apologies in advance for how long this is. My ex and I were in a toxic relationship. He keeps giving me mixed signals post breakup, we live together. How do I let go of the hope to fix things?
My boyfriend (30m) and I (25f) broke up a few weeks ago, we’d been dating for two years. We live together and I plan to move out by end of May, but we’ve been civil in the meantime. Although I’ve been in relationships before, even said “I love you” before, he was the first person I truly loved. The first person I truly pictured the rest of my life with.
But our relationship was incredibly toxic. Neither of us are good at hiding our feelings and we’re both anxious. Not a good mix. We were both constantly asking one another what was wrong or getting immediately defensive if something felt off. We were in the classic toxic cycle: fight to the point where we would almost break up (sometimes we would), then within a few days things we were great if not better than before. He never wanted to discuss arguments so I would have to almost corner him to at least share my thoughts. I’ve begged him for the past year to go to couples counseling with me but he never would.
Without going into too much detail, I’ve been incredibly supportive of him over the last six months as far as his career, mental health, and physical health. I put my own goals on the back burner so I could take care of the home while he worked on these things. Then within a few days of him hitting the deadline on these goals, we got in a huge argument and he wanted to breakup. After a few weeks of him figuring out if he wanted the relationship, I basically forced him to make a decision. We broke up, it felt very different from the other times, much more real. It wasn’t done in the heat of an argument, we were both calm. The next day he came back saying he made a mistake, I tried to keep some self-respect and told him I have to move out.
One of his reasons for breaking up being we were on different paths. What he means by that is - he just achieved all the goals he was working on and I haven’t. I’m working on the same goals as him. He forgets that I put mine on hold for him, and I thought now would be my turn to focus on work while he took care of the home.
He hasn’t been emotionally supportive for me. One month I was going through the most severe depression I’d ever experienced, he got fed up one day and said “how long are you going to be depressed because it’s affecting me now?”. When I had a bad night (that he knew about) I was crying alone in the bedroom with the door closed. He walked in to grab his clothes, saw me crying, then walked out. Then came back in because he forgot something then walked back out. I told him I didn’t feel emotionally supported in those instances and he said he can’t be “emotionally supportive as a boyfriend right now”. A stranger would have asked me what’s wrong. In the two years we’ve dated, I’ve rarely seen him show any empathy to anyone.
I’m not saying all this to put the blame on him. I’ve had my own share of faults in the relationship. I’ve become extremely insecure and argumentative since we started dating - leading to many fights. I’m still struggling.
What if we had actually gone to counseling? Would things be different? Could this have been saved? While the lows were low, the highs were SO high. There was a time I truly saw the rest of my life with him. The first week we broke up, he kept saying this wasn’t the end of us. That he knew people that broke up and moved out and are now married. To be clear - I’m not holding onto that for us, it wouldn’t be a healthy mindset.
If you’re still reading, thank you. All this to say, I know this was a toxic relationship. Yet I can’t help to wonder what it could’ve been if we went to couples counseling or even took a break to work on ourselves.
How do I let go of this hope and move on from a toxic relationship?

So my property managers husband has been extremely hostile with my boyfriend and I and has also used community areas to store his stuff. First, he was fighting with his wife and we were outside and he slammed her hand in the door and he broke her finger nail off her hand because he slammed it in the back door after pushing her outside. My boyfriend went over to ask if everything was okay and the husband yelled at my boyfriend and said he would “Bear his ass” (mind you my boyfriend has a lot of combat training for his job so I don’t see that happening but still it was a threat.) The husband apologized a few days later and to keep the peace we let it go. Then a few weeks later after my boyfriend went to help this dude on his car, this guy came up to us late at night and started threatening us. He was screaming at us and was telling my boyfriend again about how he was going to “beat his ass.” I got in the car and my boyfriend told him to F off and the dude almost pulled our door handle off our car because he was trying to get into the car. This is all on camera btw. My boyfriend drove off and we stayed away for a while, until we knew he would be gone. Now her husband is keeping his 450cc dirt bike in our laundry room on the property (it’s a community laundry room for property residents only) and it is blocking one of the drier and one of the washers out of the 2 washedrier sets that we have. I just don’t know if I can file something against the property manager for allowing a hostile living situation with an aggressive neighbor or what I can do. Our lease isn’t up until 10/19/2024 and we honestly can’t afford to break lease. I don’t feel safe in my own home and my boyfriend practically refuses to leave me home alone as he’s scared of what this dude will do. He has access to the entry keys for all the apartments as he used to work for the property and the property manager hasn’t changed the code on their safe and they both live on property. What do I do?

Hey, I’m new to posting on here so please me patient with me. ❤️
So I’m in high school. I was dating this guy (let’s call him Jax) me and Jax has been friends from middle school, we had a talking stage during but it never grew to be more. I never saw him outside of school. But during high school we grew to be closer and started dating. Me and my ex started being friends after me and Jax started dating. Me and my ex were on and off for about 4 years but we just couldn’t make it work then. Jax wasn’t very happy with it. Jax always told me not to talk to my guy friends, including the ones who had gfs. Or even his friends. Making it awkward in groups. I will say I have more guy friends than girl friends, but I did have some at the time. A day at school Jax wasn’t there, so I walked to my exs class during passing to talk to him about sm (side note: there was drama going on in a old friend group I was in before so I wanted to clear it up) I never told jax that. I wanted to but Ik he would get mad for me talking to another guy. Which he did, my so called “friend” had told him, AND LEFT OUT DETAILS, and added some of her own 😒, telling him I was flirting with my ex. Which I wasn’t. But basically he broke up with me after that situation, and going around telling people I’m a whore, but I can’t stop talking to people I’ve been friends with for like 4 or more years. I’ve had my friends tell me I wasn’t and it’s not his choice, but it’s also the same friends who kicked me out of our group just cause they don’t like who I’m friends with either. I did reach out to one girl who apologized for it and said everyone was pretty toxic after that situation. I also think my ex is dating a friend of mine. Also ask if you have any questions I have a hard time trying to add all the details.