I AM NOT THE OOP
OOP is u/Alternative_Bat5026 posting in EntitledPeople
1 update - Medium
Original - May 10, 2024
Update - May 11, 2024
[Posting note: Slight grammar editing for readability]
Pill Poacher. What do I do now???
I've commented on a few posts, but this is my 1st actual post. Canadian 53F
Hold on for a long ride.
I've had arthritis since I was a teenager. I tried not to take painkillers early on, as I know it can be a vicious cycle of having to increase the dosage all the time. However, I've gotten to the point of no choice anymore. The pain makes me cry when I wake up and that's with the ever-increasing dosages. I've had 3 joint replacement surgeries (L Hip, R Knee & R Shoulder) and require the other 3 surgeries, not to mention, my spine is full of arthritis and degenerating discs. So my pain meds are very necessary.
A little more background (Sorry).
So I live in a basement apartment (I have a chairlift). Last year, I had new neighbours move in. They seemed like a nice couple and offered to help me out when I needed it. I was paying them to help clean and such, but I stopped when I found I was paying for them and not much was getting done. Not to mention that they owe me money they borrowed (I know, I'm stupid) and their half of cable (for the last year!!!). Oh and I'm letting them drive my car right now, because I can't yet and I didn't want it sitting. I know, I know.
So in February, I noticed that I was missing pain meds, a lot of pain meds. I was lucky my Dr was understanding, but I still got shorted about 10 days out of 60 days, as I had a 2-month supply. I couldn't accuse anyone, because I couldn't prove it and maybe I did make a mistake (but I was sure I was right). Anywho, that made me have to go through a total reverse shoulder replacement surgery without my proper meds (not a happy camper).
On to the other day. I was supposed to have an appointment with my physiotherapist and I guess I messed up the date and asked if my neighbours would pick me up. I got home and I noticed my pill bottle wasn't how I left it and there was a pill on the floor. I lost it. I called them and said I want them back. They didn't even deny it, just put the little bag they filled and said, "Sorry, I hurt my back". I said, "First if you did hurt yourself changing my sheets --I have a really hard time and they are using my car-- you could have at least asked". Then I looked around and realized they still had a lot more of my pills. So I said "The rest or my keys back". They gave me another handful, but I know they have more.
I'm sorry, but where do you get off, stealing someone's medication? I'm sooooo beyond pissed, but worse I'm hurt at this entitlement. I've done so much for them, to be treated like this.
What do I do now???
Edit: I think I fixed the formatting. Sorry about the mix-up.
[Relevant Comments]
CantBelieveThisIsTru:
Get your keys back, or better yet change the locks because pill thieves don’t stop….they just keep on. And I would get some type of cabinet that locks!
Did you ask them: “Why didn’t you go see your doctor and get your own pain meds?”
The answer is probably that they don’t really need them, but are taking them because they are pill heads. Some people will take anything, which is why there are people who OD after buying a pill off someone, and they don’t even know what’s really in it. They may also be selling your meds, and that could get you in trouble for not keeping them out of their ability to access them.
Also, you really need to file a police report, just in case someone gets sick taking your meds. They can just as easily say: “OP GAVE ME THESE MEDS! And since you never reported the theft, you could go to jail.
Charybdes:
I'm guessing they're all this person feels she has. If she is truly in the state she describes and has no one to help, she's kinda stuck...Getting old can be pretty scary.

OP: Thank you. Yes, I am stuck. I moved to take care of my Mother. Unfortunately, my health declined rapidly after she died. I now rent the basement of her old house from the new owner. By the time everything was settled from her estate, I was left here alone and the only person I have is my sick daughter 3 hours away.

OP:
Ok, well I know I got a lot of flack. Yes, I did report it to the Dr and the pharmacy, but without proof, I didn't want to involve the police. Plus I want my money back! If they're in jail, they can't work. I've already told them, that they start paying their 1/2 of cable or I'm cancelling it. They have access because this was a house, divided into 2 apartments. So if I want cable, they get it too. I'll have to figure something else out. Also, I have a door with a latch, but it's remained unlocked because I did say they were helping me. It's very hard and very expensive to get someone in to just change my sheets. I'm trapped because if I cut them off, I'm stuck.
No, I can't afford to move, even though I'd like to move closer to my daughter, who was just diagnosed with MDS which is a form of blood cancer and needs a transplant sometime later this year or early next year.
I have some hard decisions to make. It's just fueled my depression more.
I find I always attract these kinds of people. I'm too caring and too trusting.
Yes. I have hidden my meds a keep them with me when I go out.
Update:
***Update: Pill Poacher**\*
Well if you've been following the adventure, I had my confrontation a few minutes ago.
I'm a heartless old bitch for asking for my cable boxes back as well as my car keys.
Ok, so here's what happened: I got a phone call from my neighbour, stating they were at Subway and did I want a sub on them. At first, I said yes, but then what I wanted wasn't available, and between the call of: "Would you like a sub", and the second call: "They don't have that, do you want something else?"...it clicked, that they were driving my car, which they were only going to use to take their kid to school. I said, "No, nothing thanks". My daughter was on the other line and said, "Get your keys back now".
I waited until they got home and then I texted, "I assume you're in my car, I want my door latched and my keys back". Well the door wouldn't latch, but the landlord's coming tomorrow. I got my keys back. I had asked the husband to latch the door and he said "Oh, now you want help from me". I said "Yes, because I don't want you to be able to come down." Of course, it wouldn't latch, but the snarky comment pissed me off.
So this is where I got nasty and said "I want my cable boxes and wifi and phone back". I got, "But we were splitting it". I said, "Splitting it means both parties pay". Now I'm the monster that took wifi away from his kid.
Now the guilt trip..."All the things we've done for you for free". I said "Free??? With the $2700 I'm going to have to eat and everything you stole, plus what, car rental...how is this FREE???
Anyway, the landlord is coming tomorrow to sort things out and fix my door. And he's selling at the end of the month. He's recommending me to the new owners. Hopefully, I won't have to move, because I can't afford it.
Thank you everyone for all your comments and advice. I'm shaking right now and the future looks scary. I'm broke and was counting on him finally paying me back. With my daughter being so sick, it really sucks right now. I'd love to move back home to be there for her now. Does anybody know where to post a GoFundMe campaign for a cancer patient in need?
Stressed to the core now, been up since 3 am after a 2-hour sleep. I wish this would just go away.
Thanks and take care. Will update if necessary.
[Relevant Comments]
Murky_Tale_1603:
...Also, if your door isn't locking properly, it might be a good idea to block it with a chair, or something that you can move easily in case of emergency, but still maintain your safety until the landlord is able to fix.

OP: It opens into their apartment, so all they have to do is pull. I have my cane if needed. My landlord is a cop, so I'm going to let that play out.

REMINDER: I AM NOT THE ORIGINAL POSTER. DO NOT HARASS THE ORIGINAL POSTER OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST.

Alright, fellow people, I'm on a mission here. Picture me, a rookie teacher, staring at an empty classroom, I got no posters, no manipulatives, nada. Fresh out the college, empty handed. Now, I need your help. I’m making a list of things to buy over the summer to prepare for July/ August.
What's the one thing you wish you'd bought sooner? Any DIY hacks that turned out to be stroke of genius? Or maybe you've had a parent swoop in with a game-changing idea? Spill the beans people, lay it on me – I need to make this classroom setup a masterpiece!

Union Organizing Update
Over the past few weeks, several of us from this subreddit have joined together to form an organizing committee for unionization. We have organizers from across the United States, including organizers from Washington, Virginia, New Jersey, Florida and more. They are among some of the most frequent posters and helpers that you’re familiar with already, like ( u/mamabroccoli and u/Inevitable_Laugh4569 ). We have already been in contact with a couple unions for guidance, including a union with an office within a couple miles of the TDC main office in New York City. While our numbers are sufficient and I think we’re making great progress thus far, if you are still interested in having an active role, we’d love to have you. The more people helping, the better! If you would prefer a more passive role by simply giving your support, that’s always appreciated too!
We have been discussing our plans for near future of our potential tutor union. Most of the work from here will be contacting people and spreading the word about unionizing the tutor base. We will be providing more information over the next couple/few weeks. Later in the week, there will be a post about the benefits of unionization. Next week, we will post about the demands we’re going to state at the beginning of any negotiations. We have ideas for further informational posts. This is truly a group effort. I think you will like what we’re offering and will be glad to vote to unionize in the future.
The following letter is an open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review. You may notice that it is written a bit differently than the writings I usually produce. The reason for the tonal shift is because of writing help. I wrote the initial draft, which was edited by our committee to have a nicer flow, be less antagonistic, and add further pro-union arguments. We are committed to work together, and this is just the start of what we can do when we work together!
Also, if you haven’t yet signed the video petition, please do so. https://www.change.org/p/oppose-tutor-com-mandating-video-sessions-for-tutors?recruiter=300829309&recruited_by_id=b62a6030-fe40-11e4-95d0-ef524b399632&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=petition_dashboard_share_modal&utm_medium=copylink
Open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review regarding attempts to unionize
Since we're starting the process of putting together a union proposal, we're publicly requesting tutor.com and/or The Princeton Review to voluntarily recognize that we're attempting to organize, and provide the resources necessary to hold a vote. From discussions amongst the committee, we know the main office is aware of this subreddit, and we'd imagine that someone is paying particular attention to our recent discussions about unionizing.
We understand if there's resistance from TDC to seeing their workers unionize, as that's a normal reaction in the business world. However, we urge you to instead be proactive and helpful as we attempt to organize.
We believe a tutor union can work in tutor.com's favor, to a great extent, for a variety of reasons:
* It would be a very good look publicly if you were to openly support the effort to unionize. We're in the education industry, a famously unionized industry, filled with people who will be more sympathetic to companies with unionized workforces. Being the one tutoring company that can truthfully say "We supported our tutors' right to unionize from day 1" could be a major selling point when seeking contracts in this industry.
* From what we've seen from your social media posts, tutor.com does seem to project a degree of progressivism. As an example, you've made posts taking pride in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at tutor.com, and you always try to highlight tutors who receive awards and recognition. You could significantly further this image by taking a union-friendly stance here. You've had executives post about how the tutors are loved - here's your chance to prove it.
* A tutor union would work to infinitely better the company itself. Tutors would feel better compensated and better heard, and as a result feel better and more enthusiastic about the company and their work overall. The better conditions would set tutor.com up as the de facto best online tutoring company to work for, and attract more and better talent to the company. It would be reasonable to set stricter quality standards and, in time, tutor.com would gain a reputation for being *the* premium tutoring service - the tutoring service that has tutors who rise above and beyond those at other services. Retention rates would skyrocket, institutional knowledge would accumulate - we'd become a company of true professionals.
* Were tutor.com to support the unionization process, it would start the relationship between the union and company off with mutual respect, a willingness to cooperate and compromise, and general friendliness and good will. This would ultimately serve us all better than a relationship borne out of malice, a refusal to acknowledge our existence, or open antagonism.
* tutor.com has faced some recent backlash from some right-wing government people regarding where we've ended up through corporate acquisitions, to the point where some are beginning to attack the military contract. One contract has already been lost for this reason. Being seen as a pro-worker company that broke industry norms and went out of their way to support their worker's right to organize, even if the effort ultimately fails, could easily work to gain the company some new allies on the left, shielding it from pointless attacks about its ownership.
We want to be clear that we're not asking for you to come out and endorse a "Yes" vote on unionization - though of course we'd be delighted if you did. What we're asking is for you to provide the resources necessary to hold an informed vote. Let us send out an email to all current US-based tutors with information regarding our efforts, and help us hold a vote to unionize at some point in the future. Offer your support or your neutrality, but please don't openly oppose or ignore our efforts. You've mentioned that "9 out of 10 tutors rate themselves Satisfied or Very Satisfied with Tutor.com" before - let's put that to the test. It may be that we hold a vote, and fail - and then, so long as you maintained neutrality and enabled us to make our case to the other tutors, we'll at least have our mutual good will, and you'll still be the pro-worker company that enabled, rather than hindered, an unsuccessful attempt to organize.
So, tutor.com / The Princeton Review, the ball is in your court now. Our attempt to organize will continue with or without your help, but we believe the best path forward is clearly the one where we work together on this. Doing nothing at all here is the easy choice, but it's also the cowardly choice. Support us, and we'll work together to better this company for its tutors and its students.
-The TDC/TPR Union Organizational Committee

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So I m basically looking to add more work to my portfolio gig so I want few more work which I can put there,
I will also add this to my portfolio so please allow permission for that☺️
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• 3 revisions on the design
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I can also design "personalized/ customized t-shirt art" !
I do Image resizing, watermark removal, and other image related stuff as well.

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$Bid here in comments (mandatory) Either send me a chat or msg me if u have any work for me. ☺️

🛑Serious and interested BIDS$ AND INQUIRES only

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I Accept [PAYPAL] and [UPI] Not any other payment method.
Once the logo is completed and finalized I will send you a watermarked preview version. After the payment is sent (via PayPal or upi), I will send you the complete work via email in required file type.

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If u wanna see my portfolio or work u can dm me and I'll send u the link, or u can directly speak up ur ideas and we can start working asap!

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Client Experience
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Thank you For spending some time with my post☺️⚡🙏 Hope to work with u soon!
TLDR; I would suggest reading the whole thing for more clearity, but all the above mentioned services r provided starting @ 3-4$ /- usd rate (can increase depends on the complexity and time)

! Limited offer !!

I'll make u an offer, u can't resist.
Starting a yt channel/ Blog/ Small business /Event / Greeting Card?? And need designing done at minimum rates so that u can afford multiple options to choose from? I m the guy!
I do Image resizing, watermark removal, and other image related stuff as well.

🔶OFFER

Logos, posters, Thumbnails, business cards and t-shirt design, certificates, posters/flyers/ business module, greeting cards, intros, channel art, profile pictures! at just starting from 2-3$only.
If you are looking to start a brand new business or rebrand and need a professional logo for your brand at a affordable cost or if you are looking for any Poster or anything related to Insta post or anything related to design!
So I m basically looking to add more work to my portfolio gig so I want few more work which I can put there,
I will also add this to my portfolio so please allow permission for that☺️
⚪Starting@ 3$ + (overseas transaction fees if any/platform taxes) (can increase depends on the complexity and time)⚪

🔶what more do u get

• 3 revisions on the design
• Design in JPG/PNG/PDF (4000x4000) or any other required file type! (Extra Charges)

I can also design "personalized/ customized t-shirt art" !
I do Image resizing, watermark removal, and other image related stuff as well.

🔶CONTACT

$Bid here in comments (mandatory) Either send me a chat or msg me if u have any work for me. ☺️

🛑Serious and interested BIDS$ AND INQUIRES only

🛑NO BID = NO RESPONSE FROM ME

🔶PAYMENT:

I Accept [PAYPAL] and [UPI] Not any other payment method.
Once the logo is completed and finalized I will send you a watermarked preview version. After the payment is sent (via PayPal or upi), I will send you the complete work via email in required file type.

🔶PORTFOLIO:-

If u wanna see my portfolio or work u can dm me and I'll send u the link, or u can directly speak up ur ideas and we can start working asap!

🔶CLIENT EXPERIENCE/FEEDBACK

Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Client Experience
Thank you For spending some time with my post☺️⚡🙏 Hope to work with u soon!
TLDR; I would suggest reading the whole thing for more clearity, but all the above mentioned services r provided starting @ 3-4$ /- usd rate (can increase depends on the complexity and time)

First time poster here, please be kind if possible :) I’ve written and had published a lot of non-fiction, but am trying my hand at novel-length fiction now with a self-imposed deadline. There’s one story I’ve been plotting for a long, long time, but I keep getting stuck when I actually write it. I know that’s okay, that I can just let it be bad in the first draft. But last night I went through documents of older ideas and beginning drafts (in an effort to organize my Google drive) - one leapt out to me as being significantly more engaging than all the others. I fell in love with my characters from a story I’d forgotten I’d ever started. The problem with the first story is that I have most of the plot outlined, but the characters feel intangible or unknowable to me, as yet.
I think I’m answering my own question here, but, in your opinions/experiences, would I be wise to follow the story that excites me (even if it’s not the one I think is ‘better’ as a story idea), or stick to the one I plotted out? I’m not in any rush to get anything published, this is my own goal of completing a novel draft - in theory, I’m happy to set it aside and move onto the next one when I’m done in an effort to keep improving.

Hey folks- long time reader, first time poster.
I am having a critical issue with my account and Webflow support has not been helpful.
I had two accounts on Webflow, but only used one for my design clients. For some reason, my accounts merged this morning and I’ve lost access to my Freelancer Workspace and all of my websites.
Regardless of which email address I log in with, I see the same empty dashboards and no paid Workspace. I can’t do anything to fix and there is no support help for massive technical issues like this.
If anyone out there has any ideas or if someone from Webflow happens to see this, PLEASE HELP!

Hello! I'm going to be selling art at an art market soon, and alongside a myriad of handmade items I wanted to have some prints of my digital artwork for sale as well as a cheaper option, as my handmade stuff will cost a little bit more. I don't want to draw generic stuff that everyone else sells, and my art will be primarily original, but I'm just curious what kind of art would appeal to you if you're the kind that buys posters or postcards. It can be anything, I just need some public opinions! Some ideas can be art of nature, animals, Victoria related stuff, hobby related stuff, cartoons, fashion, cars, literally anything! I just want to know what you'd be drawn to or what would be a pleasant surprise to see at an art market.

*Management style:
Not democratic/participative. Not transformational. Not Coaching. Very much Autocratic/Authoritative/Coercive. Sometimes Laissez-faire. Style depends on the department.
*Chain of command:
The ministry is seen as a church by top management. Top management are the “elders” and the CEO is the Senior Pastor. Then there is everybody else. So, confidence is put on their positions of authority. They are, in all sense and purposes, the “spiritual leaders”. They present themselves as having spiritual authority and, therefore, as being entitled to receive immediate agreement and unquestioned compliance.
Also, there are multiple management layers or chains which this quote sums up as well:
"When you become an admiral, you never have bad meals and you never hear the truth. there are all these layers of management and buffer layers and each one is afraid to tell unpleasant truth to the top levels.... “
Not a culture of authenticity where everyone on the team, including management, is encouraged, and expected to be who they are. There is a sense that top management puts up a false front, they seem to want to appear perfect. Illusions of invulnerability exist. They always lead well, they always make the right decisions, they never admit mistakes, etc. Want people to think they got it all together- all rainbows and lollipops. Do not exhibit vulnerability. Toxic positivity is also very much present: Everything is seen as “awesome”. So, there is judgment if you have a bad (not "everything is awesome") day.
The vertical chain of command, results in less collaboration, slow communication, lack of career growth, feelings of subordination, and decreased employee empowerment. Top management sets the rules and standards without any input from the “bottom” employees. Employee questions, concerns or ideas have to go up several steps of the chain of command so that upper management can address or approve. The bottom employees do not have the ability to make decisions related to their work or a particular situation. So, not everyone feels equal.
So, if you are not a spiritual leader, you are just basically told to submit and listen to those who are in authority over you because they are the people that “hear from God” and you are not and so whatever they say goes. And they set up a scenario where they basically kept those of us who were not spiritual leaders dependent upon them.
Many in management are overconfident and overestimate their abilities. They have a simple idea of how things are and how things work. Unfortunately, they make decisions that impact entire departments without gaining the needed knowledge.
The chain of command and lack of ongoing training also results in many employees being promoted so much that they max out their competence and will remain there until they leave or are let go. So, you end up with many in the role of management that lack the training and competence of the respective department. So, employees with the most authority are often not the most experienced and not adept in the particular field leading team members. And employees with the most experience and skills and knowledge and wisdom have the least (or no) authority.
Good leaders don’t always claim the “leader” title. Oftentimes, good leaders are those with more understated temperaments. Leadership is as much about listening as it is about telling. However, people with the most open and receptive personalities often do not have much authority.
Also, how the chain of command should operate when there is a unit that acted without proper authorization, it is not a junior authority who’s going to bear a responsibility for that, but somewhat of more senior status. And that’s true in any military or business or ministry operating by a code of ethics. So, if someone at the bottom of the chain is struggling, failing, or making mistakes, those at the top of the chain bear full responsibility. Everything stands or falls on leadership. Unfortunately, the chain at FCBH is not two directional.
There is also a sense that top management promotes employees who are least-competent but pose no risk to their own position (in-group bias) to management.
*Feedback:
Work environment or culture is not set up for employees to give honest feedback/opinions or to deliver bad news or to question or disagree with management.
Sample bias is also common. Management will send an email asking for feedback but they won't consider how only the people who are open to talking and sharing their opinions will participate while others won’t. Bias arises because employees with specific characteristics (e.g., extroverts) might be more likely to agree to participate than others, making the participants a non-representative sample. People with strong opinions or substantial knowledge about a specific topic may be more willing to give feedback than those without. Management does not follow up to determine why they are unresponsive or follow up frequently to reduce attrition.
Management claims they want to hear from employees, but they only want opinions and ideas on matters that are superficial or trivial. So, few employees give candid feedback on important and significant matters.
Top management does not involve employees in the change process when changes occur.
Management does not ask for honest feedback on their leadership or on decisions that are made that affect employees. Management will not ask how they are doing as leaders, what employees need from them. No regular check-ins or 1:1 on employees’ professional and personal well-being. Are employees stressed, disappointed or feeling burdened physically, emotionally or spiritually? No growth and career discussions.
Management will ignore most feedback, comments, suggestions even when it's common knowledge but will adamantly listen to employees who preface with "God told me to tell you..." Or “I felt God say …” or “God spoke to me and said…”
For example, management started focusing on Gen Z only after a few people claimed that “God told us that Gen Z are important for our future business growth.” In another instance, someone said “God gave us this word: we as a ministry need to really consider how everyone is wired, how each person is different. How people have different personalities.” Then, management affirmed this “word from God.”
If one employee brings something up to management it is often ignored and the employee is gaslighted. If two or more employees bring the same thing to management, then God is communicating something and they take it seriously (per Matt 18). Even if it is just coincidence or frequency bias.
*Groupthink/Conformity:
Groupthink, confirmation bias, in-group bias, illusions of unanimity, and self-censorship is very prevalent in the culture and especially in their meetings. There is a lot of direct pressure to not question, to conform, to agree with the views and personal convictions of the top management. Employees condemn those who disagree or question top management and they accept those who agree, creating immense pressure for conformity.
So, many employees frequently remain quiet, preferring to “keep the peace” rather than disrupt the uniformity. Employees are pressured to hide problematic information (especially from top management).
*Disagreements/Different perspectives:
Top management will also point out the working and living conditions of international employees to “encourage” local employees to not “complain” or give critical feedback or bring up legitimate problems (e.g., fumes or loud noises from construction in the building).
Management also often commits the "ends (or goals or vision) justify the means" fallacy: the work, the production and distribution of bibles (the ends) being done is more important, so employees shouldn't complain at all about the means or their working conditions (broken chairs, broken or inadequate equipment, poor work-life balance, bad management).
And, if management disagrees with you, with your observations, feedback, suggestions, or theology, they will often try to trump you with spirituality or vague meaningless spiritual terminology instead of using Scripture (properly interpreted), facts and reasoning.
In addition, top managers will take great offense when employees question or disagree with the directions and decisions they make. Dissent is not welcomed. Respectful debates/disagreement is not encouraged. Open discussion and alternative perspectives are not encouraged. Management does not value, support, or respect diverse opinions and ideas. They do not actively seek out different viewpoints. Do not allow people to speak their perspective, their thought of mind. So, there is no psychological safety. Employees do not feel comfortable expressing dissenting opinions without fear of retribution or judgment. Afraid of breaking the little glass image. People do not feel comfortable sharing setbacks, mistakes, failures. Management does not encourage open communication. Management often seeks agreement, instead of posing honest questions that challenge the status quo and provoke critical thinking and discussion. They do not encourage employees to challenge them. In fact, they are seen as a type of complaining or critical feedback and so are viewed as sin. This makes top management seem self-centered.
*Appeals to emotion: Guilt and Shame:
Top management often shares their personal opinions and convictions (e.g., spending money only when absolutely necessary, not accepting large gifts, not buying fancy items) as something everyone should do. It’s never direct. It's always through stories. Management loves stories. The personal convictions of management are presented as more than preferences.
For instance, top management encourages extreme frugality and poverty through their personal anecdotes #loudbudgeting and stories from international cultures. Think along the lines of: “we, here in America, have no right to be sad or to complain about things or to request better things or ask for accommodations or for more employee engagement because others (internationals) have it much worse.” Even wanting better equipment and supplies or asking for better working conditions is frowned upon (in some cases seen as a sin), even if your request helps you to do your job more effectively and makes the work better (a new whiteboard, a new office chair, better computers, etc.)
Example: “You should really try to come in to work even if you feel bad, even if you are snowed in and the roads are hazardous because people need to get our bibles. And our international employees work in much harsher conditions.”
You also get this feeling from the way they communicate that top management would rather not pay their employees. They would prefer it if everyone just worked for free because “we are on a mission from God. We are doing the Lord's work.” There is also a sense that employees should be more than willing to sacrifice their well-being, career goals, financial goals, personal goals for reaching people with their Bibles.
Leadership sets the example and expectations, so this all ends up making employees confused and feeling guilty and ashamed. Guilty and shameful about asks, spending money (even their own). Guilty and shameful about having nice things (new car, new phone, new tv), about making needs known, about sharing concerns regarding work, about asking for raises to keep up with cost of living, etc.
Example: An employee has continued to use an old whiteboard. It is so old it is hard to read and difficult to erase. Management likes to tell donors: “We don't spend money on everyday things like whiteboards…. Instead, we use that money for more bible recordings, for people to hear about Jesus.”
This also causes confusion. Every few months there is a meeting where management discusses how sitting on stores of money is bad, but spending it is also bad, but also not spending it is bad... "Being rich is bad. Money is bad. let's not accumulate money, that's bad. We must think about how people will see what we have. So we should look poor and not appear too frivolous." But top management is okay with receiving gifts from donors and other ministries. Management personally does not like to have nice “fancy” things, and as a ministry, they say FCBH should also not have nice fancy things, they should use the money for other more important things. They don't like when other ministries use their money for nice fancy things, but it's okay if other ministries give FCBH nice fancy things like tote bags, key chains, mugs, phone holders, lunch bags. Another example, it took them years to repaint the parking lot. It was at the point where people did not know where to park. Before repainting, management decided to remodel the hallways and install posters and multiple monitors with language stats.
There is also a subtle sense that producing audio and video bibles is the highest calling one can have. And it's implied that FCBH is the main means God uses to fulfill the great commission: “God needs FCBH to do these bible recordings or people (specifically unreached internationals) will go to hell.” So, top management hints that working anywhere else isn't really serving God (or at least, not serving God as well as one could if they worked somewhere else). They imply that working at this ministry is the only way to truly serve God and fulfill your calling. They also use this framing to guilt and shame employees into not quitting. Management implies that employees should not take opportunities to leave or take other jobs because getting the Bible to people is God’s highest calling for us as Christians:
“If anyone leaves FCBH, then they must not really understand the vision/calling. They are not committed to saving people. We should be willing to give up things to fulfill the calling. The apostles did not pursue better jobs and so God will provide if we need better pay, benefits, career. For those of us who join the ministry to hold true to get God's word to every person, it takes discipline because we have opportunities to do other things. I'm sure that Noah had problems with Builders because he probably had hundreds of people not thousands working on the ark. They started their own businesses and started side things going on. pretty soon they'll have no time to work with him on the ark. and you can have all kinds of diversionary things happen. and so we want to understand they focused in the ministry. and that's been one of the things that I've really tried to do is what did God tell me at the time this ministry began because I was not interested in this ministry. I was interested in living by faith and experiencing God through people and seeing people experience God. and when I was praying about that here in Albuquerque the Lord said bring my church together and make disciples. and then he also told me that when his people think the same they are one. so it's not a matter of getting rid of the buildings or the leaders but it's a matter of people thinking the same. They can go to different denominations, different buildings, have different teachers, and different preachers and leaders but once they think the same, they're one and that's what his objective was. and so that's when I felt like the Lord said get God's word to every person. So I'm challenging us to stay true to what God has called us to do. and every time somebody leaves the ministry there are reasons for leaving. but it startles me a little bit, because I think well we haven't, we haven't communicated the vision very well somehow because they didn't get it. like Noah building the arc. it it's a long project it's not a month or a year two years or three years. our immediate goal is 2033 and it means that we're committed to a cause. and that means some of us we give up something. I we've given up stuff we live in a small apartment and that's what we saw that God had us do and that's our lifestyle we we tone down our lifestyle to get the cause committed to the cause. and and I know that's difficult for some, in some cases maybe there's financial needs because of family growth and stuff there they just can't afford to work in the ministry. but sometimes it's a choice and every time somebody leaves it where it's actually a choice. I think we haven't communicated the mission very good the vision very good. I've been looking at is that could you imagine read reading the New Testament. and finding out that Peter about halfway through or Paul halfway through the ministry all of a sudden got a better job offer. and stopped their portion of the ministry they held the course no matter what happened. whether it was good or whether it was bad. Paul talks about this and sometimes we want to follow the Lord. but we don't impart on ourselves the same responsibilities that those disciples did. so when God Empower them is he empowering you in the same way. and you're making choices that maybe you shouldn't make that you will impart and say the Lord is leading me someplace else when in fact maybe it isn't. it's just a better offer. if the Bible in the New Testament was reading a little bit different than Stephen left the ministry at this point or James left the ministry at this point because of something I think we need to be very very careful and why I say that is that as we work internationally.”
SO, there is a lot of guilt and shame about leaving to pursue other interests or meet needs. Guilt and shame about wanting to leave to advance and develop professionally. For this reason, many remain “loyal” and stay at the ministry.
So there is lots of control and manipulation in the work culture.
*Weekly worship meetings:
These are mandatory and there are some legitimate concerns:
Top management seems to have misconceptions about true worship and worship experiences. They often reduce worship to singing by their communication, the way “worship” is used. Worship is seen as something we do on occasion - once a week, when we gather at work for the mandatory worship time. Top management, by ignoring other styles, seems to believe that there is a single style of worship which is correct for Christians.
And it seems like just about anyone can lead worship or be on the team: anyone that can play an instrument. Top management does not require a worship class or agreement to biblical principles concerning worship as a prerequisite for employees who desire to plan and lead worship experiences. So you end up with people who have different views/philosophies on the worship team. Unfortunately, many who lead do not take the time/effort to plan and lead worship experiences, to discern from songs that are better suited for individual or private worship from songs that are corporate or public worship, to discern songs that are controversial/questionable (have bad theology, weak theology), songs that are theologically ambiguous or songs that lean more towards “feminine” attributes. Most, if not all, of our modern “Christian” worship music is written at a simplistic level of understanding and comprehension. Most music tends to appeal to our emotions. Many songs appeal mostly to women. So there is a great need for teaching on the biblical principles concerning worship. Also a need to choose theologically balanced songs with music appropriate for the people. Unfortunately, many of the songs chosen are theologically incorrect (e.g., having elements from the Word Of Faith movement, New Apostolic Church, New Age). Songs are often not theologically balanced. Songs seem to be chosen for their emotional impact, to make employees feel good; many focus on just one aspect of God (e.g., love). Many promote self-centered worship.
Most of the worship leaders just sing the songs: They do not actually “lead” people into worship. They do not help people connect the lyrics of the song to where they are at in their personal life, to teach them something about God or help the people understand what this song means and what God wants them to get out of it, so they're not just singing songs and just doing, going through the motions or help them understand the depth and the richness of what lyrics mean and how it applies to their life. What matters to them seems to be whether songs are impactful, moving, and beautiful. (Whatever that means.) Whether songs make employees feel good. They don't seem to care whether the songs actually reflect truth: Do the lyrics line up with Scripture? Do the songs glorify self or God? How would new Christians or nonChristians interpret the song?
Theology is the study of God and it's very important doxology is an expression of praise to God so the point here is that all theologies should ultimately lead to doxology if theology doesn't lead to doxology then we've actually missed the point of theology so if you have theology without doxology you just have dead hold orthodoxy which is horrible. On the other side you have the people who say “forget about theology I just want to praise.” But if you have doxology without theology you actually have idolatry because it's just a random expression of praise but it's not actually informed by the truth of who God is so God is
concerned with both he's concerned with an accurate understanding of him and that accurate understanding of him leading to a response of praise adoration and worship towards him.
*Leadership quality:
Top management has more respect for donors and guests than their employees.
Management lacks basic core leadership principles/values:
Unfortunately, many employees are not given power or resources: Management just gives them the responsibility to get things done. Before responsibility is given, employees should be equipped: be empowered, have the authority, be given resources and have the experience. Employees are not empowered as individuals to solve their own problems using their own solutions. Micromanagement is often required every time the situation changes or problems arise. Employees are not inspired to act as leaders for themselves, delivering amazing performance without guidance. They have coaching sessions but only when there’s a problem. True coaching occurs regardless of whether the individual is crushing their goals or falling behind. Management does not seem to care about unlocking a person’s potential and getting the most of their performance. They seem only interested in producing more followers, not more leaders.
No method to hold management accountable to core values listed in their own Employee handbook. Employees are expected to abide by the procedures and rules described in the handbook but top management can choose to ignore it when it is convenient for them.
-Top management are NOT learners: No desire to develop and improve their skills.
-They do not ask employees: What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
-They do not ask how they are doing as leaders. Or ask employees how they’re doing.
-They do not ask what employees need from management that they are not giving them.
-No performance evaluations for both management or non-managment.
-They often fail to emotionally connect with employees.
-They do not speak to employees' needs first.
-They do not focus on what they can put into people rather than what they can get out of them.
-They do not understand basic psychology, how people think and behave.
-They are often resistant to (and even hate) change: Perhaps because they fear losing control. In fact, new information, objective facts, research, stats, and even new ideas are often ignored in favor of what's easiest to do or because of tradition. If something has been done and “works”, top management does not see a reason to question it or to improve on it. If something was tried 5, 10, 20, even 50yrs before and failed, top management does not see a reason to try it again even if the exact circumstances have changed.
-They do not empower or give the means, the power or opportunity to do to employees.
-They do not trust others to follow through managing processes and performing tasks.
-They do not lead by example.
-They do not know when to move forward and when to back off, what to improve and how radical those improvements should be.
-They often fail to see options, and plan and prioritize.
-They fail to develop leaders around them.
-Their communication is often poor.
-Their listening is also poor: do not listen for more than facts, but also the feelings, meanings and undercurrents.
-They do not take the time to get to know the people they lead: no weekly check-ins which top organizations have to discuss how employees are doing professionally and personally. Management doesn't ask “what was good this week? What was not good this week? How is your well-being? How is your family?”
Competence in leadership skills is also poor.
-They are not teachable: not willing to keep learning, growing, improving in leadership and management practices: FCBH has a yearly “leadership” summit. But, the way it is set up, it reinforces weaknesses instead of challenging leadership growth.
The summit is also just for a select few in top management. Not every employee is seen as a leader so most employees are excluded.
Top managers attend the summit but there is no followup, no post accountability by other managers and especially by the employees that are under the managers. No discussion on how management will apply what was learned.
Some of the past speakers have had questionable characters and even questionable teachings (Judah Smith). Leadership qualifications and theological background seems to be ignored in favor of charismatics, dynamics, popularity.
-Top management does not take responsibility for their part of a disagreement or failure and apologize.
-They often embrace a victim mentality.
-They often limit yourself by your job title.
-They do not invest in better tools or processes.
-They are content with the status quo.
-They allow their past achievements to stagnate their desire to keep learning.
-There is a lack of discernment, finding the main cause of problems/issues.
-They do not anticipate problems.
-They do not accept the truth of the problem: Do not face up to the reality of the situation;
-They get bogged down in the details.
-They often avoid problems.
-They don’t deal well with problems.
-They do not have their team study all angles.
-They often do not value nontraditional thinking: Don’t embrace change, ambiguity and uncertainty well.
-They do not work well with differences.
-They do not have their own mentors or provide mentorship to others.
-They do not invest to improve their own professional or leadership skills.
-They are often insecure, constantly seek validation, acknowledgement and love.
-They limit employee's success and recognition:
-They do not seem interested in making people successful: Don’t attempt to remove barriers that prevent employees from being successful.

• They often feel threatened by accomplishments by employees who are not management:

If an employee who is not management has a great idea to improve the work, management often does not support it and may secretly try to shut it down.
When a team succeeds, management will not give other people credit and instead take the credit themselves.
It seems like some of the people working there were given the title of management, the position, and that alone made them qualified. Management or leaders assume that their position alone qualifies them to make critical decisions where they may not have the best data, insight, wisdom, skill, experience. Just because one may have the word “manger” in the job title, does not automatically make them a great leader. Leadership is about dealing with people, and the dynamics between those people, and influencing people.
*Dead end career path:
For the most part, top management assumes that team members are fine and "settled", rather than taking the time to understand their true feelings and needs. They do not ask employees where they are struggling, where they are having trouble, what frustrates them the most?
Management does not seem interested in making employees better both personally or professionally. They do not have a growth plan or professional development plan for employees. No job related training. They do not provide what is needed to help employees to grow and improve. They don't provide opportunities for employees to apply their talents and expertise. They don’t ask how they can better support employees. Employees don’t check on each other.
One is expected to work until health deteriorates and skills become obsolete so you leave in a worse place than you started. For most employees, there is no long term future with the organization. Management does not let employees know how they are doing and what the future looks like for them. What the opportunities are. They do not take the time to learn from employees what they want to be. No honest conversations to understand employees goals and ambitions. So, because there is no growth or development plan, no career path, once your skills are outdated, they will probably let you go or they will keep you in the same position and your salary will max out.
Management does not coach employees on how to manage their time, priorities, and energy; no teaching on how to problem solve, or make better decisions, or how to set boundaries or how to minimize context switching and zoom fatigue.

Hey guys. We adopted a cute little cat, 7 months old, just a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, she somehow escaped from her very tight harness after a vet appointment and ran up a tree last friday. We tried to coax her down for like 6 hours until it got dark, so we continued to check on her throughout the night, so that hopefully someone could help us in the morning. Sometime between 3:00 and 5:00 AM though, she dissappeared.
We've left food and water out for her, and left a little bit of her litter by the window. I've left one of my sweaters outside so she can recognize my scent. We're going on consistent walks of the area with food and toys, and looking in every nook and cranny with a flashlight for her. We've put up posters, alerted neighbors, posted on facebook groups, and put her up on local lost pet websites. She is microchipped in our name, but she tore off her collar in the tree.
We're doing everything we can, but it's so discouraging. We wonder if she got hurt climbing down the tree and crawled off somewhere to die... :( We also are so worried that since we only had her for less than two weeks, she doesn't really recognize our house as home, and doesn't care to come back. We don't know her history before we got her, so we have no idea if she's comfortable as a stray. She's also very shy, and loves to hide, and there are more places to hide in our area than we could ever look. She lovvvvved neck scratches though, so maybe that would spur her to come back? I just can't see why she was so eager to escape when we gave her so much love, and it seemed like she loved us too. She was so comfy and happy here.
I guess my question is... Do you think there's any chance we find her, or she comes back, when we only had her for two weeks? And is there any more we can do?

Hi! My boyfriend is an arborist (turning 19 years old) and I want to get him something for his birthday he will really like and use. Any ideas would be really appreciated! He likes the brand DMM if that helps.
Posting on here since i don’t just want to get him a poster with a tree on it, but something he would actually use.

Tl:dr: bailed on my friend and she ended the friendship told everyone and they all said im in the wrong
Ill try to keep this short but basically my friend and i got into an argument over me bailing out on the science fair.
The reason i bailed is cause she sprung this on me out of the blue and when i dont her i dont rlly wanns she said "i wont have any partner" and i felt bad so i told her okay but turns out she already bought everything,chose the topic, made the little thingy for the topic and told me to just do the carton which she said that shell give me idea and that i have to copy it.
So after discussing it ALOT because it bothered me alot that id do something i dont wanna do for my first science fair so i bailed 3 days before (everything was done except for the carton/poster)
She got mad ended the friendship then victimised herself and told me she didnt manipulate me she also made fun of my voice and try to give me advice as a "sister" (bothered me cuz i have a sister and shes an only child who i wont sugercoat it is spoiled and doesnt respect any one) and that we both had to apologise and i had to do the poster too.
The reason i didnt accept this is cuz this was my breaking point so many times she has manipulated me and crossed my boundaries.
We argued again on the stairs and after that she cried to her "friends" (aka gossipers) about me i was mad not cuz of the rumors but because she didnt take out talk srsly she was laughing making jokes and waving to ppl.
Anyways today she told me that we shouldnt be enemies (dont bother me cuz im changing schools) her mom told her that and i told her no cuz it doesnt matter im changing schools and we got in an argument, basically she argued that because she kept an 8 year (failing) friendship shes a good friend (she couldnt keep 3 friendships in school this year including me) and she apparently told her friends and her mom and they agreed im in the wrong but i dont think im in the wrong. I searched the form of manipulation she used (i was 100% sure she manipulated me even in secret) and its apparently emotional black mail or FOG (fear,obligation,guilt).
So AITAH?

Hi all
Also poster this on learnpython
I currently work in administration and my employer has offered me the opportunity to train in as a junior developer. They are willing to put me into a bootcamp / online python course and over a year or so period move from my administrative duties to a junior dev position.
For reference I have some college education in computer science but nothing that would get me into that position if I was to apply to other companies for the same position.
He is looking for me to propose some ideas that I have to automate certain parts of my current job which I have plenty of, but how should I describe them? Pseudocode? Visual Aids?
I've been working through python cs50 course online but making slow progress, I toyed with the idea of going to a bootcamp but couldn't afford it on my own right now.
Is this a good opportunity? I would really appreciate any guidance.
Thanks

Long time lurker and occasional poster here....
Hoping for some reassurance on direction of travel towards FIRE.
We've been busting our asses for 10+ years in high stress jobs and sometimes struggle with certainty in reaching our FIRE number.
We also have no one to discuss it with unfortunately and I resent the idea of dealing with an IFA after terrible experiences in the past.
For context:
1/ Married, nearing mid 30s, 1 child under 3, may have a second.
2/ As a rough measure monthly outgoings are c. £4k but would be closer to £2.5k with no childcare and mortgage.
3/ Targeting an annual FIRE income of c. £48k. So, FIRE number of c. £1.2m, based on 4% SWR (appreciating outgoings could allow for less).
4/ current household pre-tax income is c. £98k (one on 4 days, one on 3 days for childcare).
5/ ideal target retirement of 55 for us, gives c. 22 years of further growth/investing.
6/ in terms of net worth....
A/ c. £150k ISAs (Global Index Funds) B/ c. £55k in SIPP/ DC Pensions (Global Index Funds) C/ c. £5k annual DB Pension based on access at 67 (accruing extra c. £300 each year on part time hours) D/ c. £5k crypto E/ c. £18k cash in high interest accounts F/ c. £400k equity in property, c. £175k mortgage. (Intention to downsize or explore forms of equity release as we get closer to FIRE). G/ a long way off but assuming some form of state pension based on contributions.
7/ historically we have saved/invested hard, benefiting from bull markets and gain from a significant property project (resulting in the chunk of equity in the current property following sale of our last home).
8/ we are currently putting aside c. £800-£1200 per month split across A/ and B/ and make small overpayments to the mortgage.
8/ no debt save for mortgage and one student loan c. £15k.
We struggle to comprehend the power (magic) of compounding sometimes.
Would it be fair to say that we have hit, or are close to hitting, a Coast FIRE position?
Also, a bit unrelated but, what time of life/protection insurances do people tend to hold as part of their journey towards FIRE? (Currently struggling to figure what we should and shouldn't have, beyond standard life insurance policies (individually and through work!).
Thank you in advance!

Hey y'all, I'm a research assistant in a neuroscience lab and got an email a few months ago telling me I was selescted for a talk. I haven't been to this conference at all yet but I've heard it's decently large (5000 ish people attending), and everyone else in my symposium is either a professor or post doc. It's on sunday, I have no idea what I'm doing and have only presented one poster at a smaller conference before, so any advice would be very appreciated!!!

I am a MBA passout but I have no interest it that field. I have always been interested in digital and graphic design and art and so started learning Photoshop. Right now, I'm not an expert but I'm proficient in the software. I do make retro/grunge heavy inspired movie posters but I'm struggling to actually monetize my skill. Basically I want to do something in design line but have no idea how to proceed. Is there any media production houses I could apply to or and indie movie production house for jobs or should I just give it up all together?
PS: If you want to know what kind of art/design I do, I have my behance link on my profile.

Two years ago, I had just moved to a new house from a different neighbourhood for work. I was settling in and getting used to the place, but I was still lonely and went through bouts of depression.
My ex-boyfriend of five years had ended the relationship a while before I moved, and I wasn't having much luck going on dates. I eventually decided to focus my energy into work and fitness instead, but the loneliness lingered. The house still felt empty at times, and the silence was painful. I went through the motions numbly as the days passed by.
About two months after I had moved in, I started noticed a stray dog pacing around my front yard from time to time. It had big, brown, sad eyes, and there was no collar around its neck. I couldn't tell you what breed it was - a reverse Google image search tells me it looks like an Indian Pariah dog. I could always recognize it, as its left eye was slightly larger and darker than the right, but that gave it some unique charm. After seeing it outside my front door for three days straight, I put up some posters along my street inviting anyone who might have lost a dog to call me. I quickly learned that I probably shouldn't have done that, after getting a few silent calls from an unknown number that I eventually chalked up to being a prankster or some scammer.
I called a local animal shelter and them pictures of the dog. A guy came over to scan the dog for a microchip, but found nothing. He said it was most likely abandoned as a puppy. He could take it back to the shelter, or I could look after it for the time being - they would contact me if anyone ever tried to claim it. My grandad had a german shepherd that I used to love playing with, so I always had a soft spot for dogs and agreed to look after it, even if it was for a while. The guy from the animal shelter advised that if I didn't hear back in a week, I should take it to the vet to get it checked out and microchipped, or to the shelter if I didn't want to keep it.
I took care of the dog and let it roam around the living room, with free access to the back yard. I decided to name him Charlie, and purchased more dog food, a labelled dog collar, some brushes to groom him with and dog toys. The nearest vet was a two hour drive away. Work was busy so I wasn't incredibly flexible for a visit, but I managed to get an appointment booked in two weeks' time.
The first night I spent with Charlie, I realized that he might just be what I needed in my life. Late in the evening, I sat on the couch looking at him, sitting quietly in the middle of the room on my wooden floor. I began talking out loud to Charlie. It seemed stupid at first, but the way he sat quietly and listened was comforting. After a while, I got more into it, and vented about my loneliness and frustrations to the point of tears.
How I stayed with my cheating, gaslighting ex-boyfriend because I was too insecure to be alone, until he dumped me. All my failed dates, and how I thought I would die alone and unloved. I poured my heart out to my new companion, spilling my deepest secrets until I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I again began talking to Charlie about the pain and depression I had been through, and he listened patiently once more. I discovered that spending time with my new friend was cathartic. Perhaps I needed to get it all out, and be listened to for once, even if not fully understood.
The third day after I had taken Charlie in, I woke up to realize that I'd overslept half an hour. I poured some food into Charlie's bowl and brushed my teeth at lightning speed, then grabbed my bag and flung the door open, ready to bolt into my car. A surprise greeted me at the front door, that made me stop.
There was a bouquet of red and pink roses on my front door step.
I picked it up and looked at it, confused. There was no note attached or anything. I couldn't think of who it would be from - I obviously hadn't been on any dates recently. Being late for work, I didn't have much time to ponder, so I dropped the roses back on my doorstep and drove off. During the drive, I panicked for a second at the thought that it could have been my ex, but then realized he didn't know my new address, or even that I had moved. The mystery bugged me all day at work. When I came back home, the roses were gone, so I assumed someone had accidentally left them at the wrong address.
That night, I woke to the sound of creaking. As I opened my eyes slightly, I saw something at the foot of my bed and bolted upright, adrenaline rushing through me. As the fogginess faded, my heart rate settled a little.
"It’s just you, Charlie," I sighed, "you scared me."
Charlie continued to stare at me from the foot of my bed. After a minute, he stood up and left the room. I didn't think much of it, and fell back asleep.
For the next week, I continued the usual ritual of talking to Charlie before I went to bed. I would talk about my day, my plans, hopes, dreams and other such things. I found our one way conversations getting more positive each day - they were very therapeutic. Charlie would always stare at me with those big brown eyes and sit quietly still as I talked.
On the morning of the vet appointment, for which I had taken the day off work, I noticed that my car was much cleaner than usual. Had it always been this shiny? I thought. I had driven it to work the Friday before, but I hadn't taken notice of how clean it was then. The last time I had, I could swear there were bird droppings on the back window, and some general grime that covered it all round, but it was now spotless. I pondered for a few seconds, and came to the conclusion that it must've just be a brain lapse on my part - it was probably always clean. Those droppings must have washed away over time with a few rainy nights.
I drove Charlie down to the vet and explained the story of how I'd found him.
"He's very well behaved," she beamed, as she began examining Charlie on the table. "We see a few of these cases from time to time. People's dogs have puppies, and they get sold or abandoned."
"It's a real shame," I sighed. "Charlie's been a star, I'm lucky to have him really. I live alone, so as odd as it sounds, I've been talking to him and it's helped me through some difficult moments."
"That's not strange at all," replied the vet, checking his teeth. "Owning a dog can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you live alo-"
She suddenly stopped.
I stared as she squinted and moved Charlie's head up and down, trying to get a look at something. She plucked a light out of her pocket and aimed it into Charlie's left eye.
"What's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, and kept looking at Charlie from different angles. He whimpered slightly.
"Did his eye look like this when you found him?" She asked. I leaned in closer.
"Yeah, I did notice his left eye was slightly darker and larger than his right."
She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows, then back at Charlie.
"I'd like to get a closer look at his eye and examine it in the next room, if that's okay?"
"Uh, sure," I said, confused.
Without further explanation, she hastily picked Charlie up and carried him off into a different room. I sat down and waited, reading the news on my phone, expecting her to be back in a few minutes. However, when the vet didn’t come back for a while, my concern began to grow. I paced around the room and tried to glance into the door she had left through a few times.
Then I sat back down and watched the minutes pass by, getting more anxious. Hopefully it's nothing, I thought to myself. An easily curable eye infection perhaps, or a defect he was born with - hopefully it was something like that or nothing. I'd only spent a few weeks with Charlie, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. I had told him so much about me, and he was the only one that had ever really listened to me. I had grown very attached to him quickly, so I almost felt like a worried parent, blaming myself for not bringing him to the vet sooner.
An hour and a half passed, but it felt like eternity. The vet finally came back through the door. I stood up.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Have you noticed any odd events recently?" she asked, "Like, anything you couldn't explain?"
"To do with Charlie?"
"No, just in general. Anything you've seen or heard around you that felt out of place in your life?" She insisted. I took a second to think.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna be relevant," I said, "But I have a couple of times. For instance, this morning I thought my car was a lot cleaner than usual. I've been getting some unknown calls, and hearing some creaking noises at night lately, but I'm sure it's just Charlie walking around and waking me up. And… someone left roses on my front doorstep one day. Didn't say from who, but… Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this."
I looked up at the vet, who now had a very concerned look on her face.
"I'm going to have to call the police," she said.
It took a few seconds to register. A million thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I say something wrong? Did she think I was abusing Charlie?
"I swear," I said, "Everything I've told you is true, I'm really sorry it took me so long to bring him in, it's my first time owning a dog and all…"
"No, no, it's not that," she said. She gestured for me to follow her into the room through the door.
Charlie was sitting on a table in the middle of the room. There were a few other tables surrounding it, with dog toys and surgical equipment on them. There was a large hole where his left eye had been, now a gaping black cavity.
The vet pointed at a sheet of blue paper on a table next to the one Charlie was on. There were two black domes resting on it, like two halves of a black ping pong ball had been split in half. A clear fluid was covering the outer sides, and staining the blue paper. There was also a tiny black cube. I looked closer, and saw some red and green wires coming out of the tube.
"I took this out of Charlie's left eye," the vet explained, "I thought my eyes were fooling me, but I took a closer look and was sure this thing definitely shouldn't have been in his head. When I took it out, I thought it was some kind of prosthetic eye, until I heard something moving inside it. I opened it up, and found this."
She pointed at the tiny cube and picked it up with some tweezers, revealing a transparent circular window on one side.
"Now I'm no expert, but I took that apart just now and to me it looked a lot like the inside of a camera lens you'd get on a smartphone."
She looked back at me.
"Do you think…" She paused.
"Do you think it's possible someone could have been watching you for the past few days?"
The police were eventually called and an investigation started. The tiny device inside Charlie's eye was indeed a camera lens with a built in audio recording device, and it had a wireless connection. It was an advanced piece of kit, but with some technical expertise they were able to examine its traffic logs and identify an IP address to which the miniature device was streaming.
That IP address belonged to my neighbor, who lived in the house opposite to mine.
I had never seen him leave the house before, although when I moved in I did see his silhouette in the top floor window a couple of times. He was a fifty five year old balding, slightly overweight man who worked as an engineer, but otherwise lived a reclusive lifestyle. I later found out that he had multiple restraining orders placed against him from ex partners. He had a collection of tiny bugging devices which he had been planting in various places including public women's bathrooms for years. These devices could livestream video and audio to his computer, and in his spare time he would watch and listen to this footage he collected.
A while before I moved into the house, he had purchased a puppy from someone he knew, and kept it as a pet without registering it. I assume he got bored of spying on women in bathroom stalls, and when he saw me move into the house opposite, he suddenly got a wild idea of how he could get a peek at something more intimate. The rest is some truly horrific history.
Charlie had been in my room while I slept and even a couple of times while I undressed. But worst of all, I had told him everything about me. The names of previous partners, things about my family, companies I had worked for and more. I wish I could say that I kept Charlie, but I just couldn't. Not after that. The vet arranged for him to be sent to the animal shelter where I'm glad to say he eventually did find a new home. I also relocated and changed my phone number.
For anyone out there wondering, I'm still single. The difference is that nowadays, I'm completely at peace with being alone. I've experienced a worse alternative, that's for sure.

Every time I try and order takeaway I am defeated by the insane price of absolutely everywhere. I mean I used to laugh at ting Thai wanting 10 quid for a box of pad Thai. But now that's the standard, and that same box (actually I think it got smaller) is 12. There are fewer and fewer places I can justify ordering from and in 2024 the only place I have ordered food from at all is mania because they have reasonable value on really greasy nasty pizza (which is what I crave sometimes). Is there anywhere you still order from? Or places you miss being able to reasonably order from? (Not a proficient Reddit poster, no idea how to fix my typo in the title)

Hello, My name is Arjun, a realtor in Abbotsford. The city is updating their Official Community plan and update their bylaws in due to provincial legislation coming to effect in June. They are hosting open house events in May to get community feedback as well as present some initial ideas of what needs to be changed in the city. From land use and increased density, to school and park land. Now is your opportunity to give your opinion on what things are needed or not needed in the city going forward. The poster of the event is below. The next open house is this Thursday from 5:30-7:30 PM At Mountain Elementary.
PLEASE NOTE:
1- I do not work for the city of Abbotsford or have any other relationship with them. I am just a realtor that works and resides in Abbotsford and I am just relaying this information.
Open house event

Hi all, long-time (2 months) lurker, first-time poster.
My fiancé and I just put a deposit down for our wedding, which will be in May 2025. Our venue feels so perfect and so us, and I know it will be beautiful. However, since we started talking about getting married, I’ve had the idea of a fall wedding in my head. Our venue was already all booked up for September by the time we inquired, and we decided against October because we were worried about it being too cold (it’s on a lake in the NE US).
I am 100% aware that this isn’t a real problem. Our wedding will be beautiful and I love spring (my birthday is in May!). However, if I can’t talk about this here, then where can I? It just isn’t what I pictured, and I’m starting to feel sad about not having a fall wedding, getting excited over the summer, etc.
Can anyone who has attended or had a beautiful spring wedding tell me what you loved about it? I want to stop being bummed and get into a more positive and excited mindset. Thank you so much :)