Mom and son masterbait

so my sister lost custody of her girls and they were staying with me sister is 29 and her kids are 3f and 6f they were given to me 35f and my grandma 76f because we are the next of kin sister and her new husband 35m were raided because my cousin and her son 3m were staying at my sister's when my cousins baby daddy took the boy to the hospital about marks on him the boy came back positive for thc and had red marks on his back and near his penis so all the adults received 3 counts of child endangerment and possession of drugs with intent to sale so for the last 2 months i a childless 35f have had custody of the kids they went back to their mom yesterday and today i received a call from her about the 6f over hearing that her grandpa is sick in the head and a pedophile now add to the fact that this mofo raped me from 5-11 almost 12 and she over heard me having a conversation with my grandma because my sister wanted me to take the girls to go see this mofo because hes dying and is harmless according to my sister < now keep in mind that my sister is 29 and her dad is 86 he got my mom pregnat when she was 25 he was 57 and had kids her age so its already sketchy and then when my mom got with him he already had been to prison for rape which he had convined her was a missunderstanding ya i know issues with her too she was a binge addict and belived him i never told her because why would she belive me she didnt belive the other girl > so back to my story she pissed at me because i told her hes still a pedofile just because hes dying from blood cancer and his wife has tried to kill him every other week but ya im just supposed to not say anything about her taking a child the same age as i was when he was raping me to see just becaue he happened to be her father look i know i used no grammer im pissed off at the moment and need to vent

We are headed to Orlando for my son’s 8th bday and after seeing his life’s bucket list say “go see Messi play”, I googled the inter Miami schedule. As luck would have it, there’s a home game the day we would be coming home (June 19). I am considering changing our trip home and renting a car to travel from Orlando to Fort Lauderdale so we can go to a game.
That said, I know NOTHING about professional soccer, the stadium, the best way to get tickets, where to sit, etc. Do the players do any meet and greets?
Please help this mom make her boys bday wishes come true!

I (M19) was just having my milk before cereal breakfast until. My mother (F45) called me let’s say my name is Tyrone anywho bruv she said “TYRONE!” And then I say “wsg lil bro) and she said “GRANDMA DIED” then I got up my chair and yelled “WHAT?!?” She told me to come over, I rushed my way to the hospital, when I made it I saw her wrinkle ahhhh body, and her last words to me were. “Do a SICK kick flip on my grave UWU” then… the beeping stopped. Ahem- ANYWHO, the day we went to bury her body all these B-B-BOZOS were crying, when they finished burying her body, when everyone left I got my skate bored and did a AWSOME KICK FLIP ON THAT GRAVE, I did not know my mom was behind me she said……. “Son.. THAT WAS A AWSOME KICK FLIP MY GANGYYY BANG BANG BOOM BOOM” What do I do now?
That’s the end of the story NOW SCRAM!

I had this realization in the last 15 minutes of therapy yesterday and figured this was a good a place as any to get more off my chest.
I (33F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 6 years, together for 12. I've always had a great relationship with his family, his parents welcomed me with open arms from day one. They're the nicest people and really low maintenance in-laws for the most part. However, his mom is just... so much. She raised two sons who are just like their dad (introverted, bookish, lowkey, atheist) whereas she's an extremely extroverted, social, liberal catholic. I'd describe her as giving off "kooky aunt" vibes, or that girl on tiktok who impersonates her wacky boomer mom who can't break bad news in a normal way. And she's obsessed with me.
As you can probably imagine, she's really, really, REALLY into the concept of "finally" having a daughter. And normally I'd be happy to play the part, but I also have a mother I am very close (read: enmeshed) with and don't have the energy to muster a second similar relationship with. We have plenty in common like baking, yoga, and reading, but she just wants more from me than I can give her and her behaviors make it hard to want to try harder.
Some examples for context:

• Despite being one of the chattiest people I know, she's extremely hard to converse with. She jumps from topic to topic, speaks before thinking, asks well-meaning but intrusive questions, and I feel like I can't confide in her for all those reasons despite her being so nice and positive almost always. Every time I text her to say hi or send a cute photo of the pets she responds (days later, mind you) with a million questions about my life/work/hobbies that I end up not replying most of the time.
• Diet culture is just so ingrained in her psyche. She's never been fat in her life and I'm not a thin person, and she uses body image and diet as a way to relate to me in a way that feels extremely icky despite her language being broadly positive. She uses "you look like you've lost weight" as a compliment and is on some kind of new dietary kick every other week. I'll never forget her telling me "it doesn't look like you gained any weight" when picking us up from the airport after our honeymoon in Italy. Or when she ordered a massive plate of spaghetti at lunch, ate five bites, then declared "we'll just make a big salad for dinner." She was staying at our house so I'm not sure where said big salad was supposed to come from.
• My main hobby is horseback riding, which is one of those things that gets a lot of questions/interest from non-horsey people. I'll talk about my horse all day every day, but MIL is just OBSESSED with the concept. If I had a dollar for every time she told me "I want to come watch you ride" I would be able to buy myself a very nice meal. It's not like it's a closed practice at all, it's just the constant demand to be involved that rubs me the wrong way. And the fact that she's actually terrified of horses. Husband did tell her to stop asking after the most recent visit but I got the sense it hurt her feelings a bit.
• MIL and FIL came to visit for the day last weekend (we live in cities about 2 hours apart) and they rolled up in a massive tizzy because their tire pressure light was on. They wanted to be towed to a shop but I ended up checking their tire pressure (god knows they didn't know how to) and all four wheels were good to go, they just hadn't cleared the indicator after getting their car serviced. I made the mistake of wearing a sleeveless shirt that day and as I was walking around their car MIL followed me going "ooooh let me see your tattoos!!!" and I wanted to disappear.

All of these things are obviously nowhere near the nightmare JUSTNO stories I've read on this sub, but my MIL just exhausts me. She makes me feel like I'm some kind of novelty. And I feel like a garbage human because she's just SO NICE and I can't give her what she wants. I wish I could. She means well and is a good person, but I'm not her daughter or her bestie. I'm her son's wife and I love her, but I just don't like her that much.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope some of y'all can relate or at least find amusement in the champagne problems of having a MIL. <3

Me (m,16) has a tough relationship with my dad (56). I often don’t see him as he constantly works and mainly depend on my stepmom as a parental figure , I don’t really feel apart of my fathers family with his wife and 2 step-siblings but have always tried to be kind to everyone and after moved out my moms house and into my fathers I feel like no-one in my family other than my brothers actually care for me. I have had an amazing school life and it is where I have met my amazing friends. I get good marks around all A’s and B’s and play basketball where I made u/18 an all state team and am the captain of my school team. I have started to resent my father as he talks to my step-brother like he’s his actual son but when I’m in conversation with him we can only talk about him and small talk. I am often ignored if I share something with him and then I just brush it off. But recently we went out for dinner where he insisted he has a piece of my pizza and I told him no and said “please”. I did this as if I ever forget to refer to him as father or forget to say please or thank you he often corrects me and treats me like a baby, I thought it would be a bit of revenge when I said this but he seemed to brush it off and we went on with dinner. When we got home he came to me and told me sternly that I had disrespect him and it wasn’t my place as his child to say that and I replied that it is unfair how I am expected to follow his orders but he cannot take constructive criticism and he left. Later he came back and aggressively said that I must keep my mouth shut or I will leave his house with lost teeth and told me that I need to consider what I say or I need to consider where I live and that next time I say anything he will kick me out. I have felt immense sadness and don’t know what to do ,I feel even more unwanted and do not know what to do.

I 16M, and my brother 15M live with my father 37M and it is a living hell. My brother and I are in a group chat with our mother who was kicked out of our property thanks to my father with their ongoing divorce. Their divorce started basically because of my father's binge drinking and he would begin to lash out at my mom and just act useless and be deplorable. The sad thing is, is he thinks he can spend money to buy me and my brother's love (Fortnite cards, video games, etc). He even pretends to be sugar sweet when in reality he sends my mom horrible messages basically demeaning her as a human being. He always needs to be in control, like with money, clothes you wear (if they're dirty or not), and what you do in your day to day life. As I'm writing this he invited people to this "cookout" with relatives from his side we resent, (uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandma). He also texted me saying "Yeah, I really can't, bud. I have my bosses out here and I need to impress them." when I asked if they could tone things down. He also has a disabled brother with autism who is non-verbal, and cant do anything for himself, (clothing himself, bathing, etc), and he, and my grandma just leaves him in the house whenever he has guests, completely disregarding his needs. Not only that, he gets mileage checks to take him places, but all he's ever at is his home because he doesn't take him anywhere. I barely use Reddit, I've talked to my mom about reporting him to the police for what he's doing to me and my brother emotionally, but I know if I were to do that, I'd be in foster care, and I don't want that at all. He has made Facebook statuses about women he'd like to have sexual intercourse with, while he was married to my mom, and he completely disregarded their marriage together at times. He treats me and my brother like we're toddlers for no reason, even though I'm 16 and he's 15, he hasn't worked a day in his life; when he was married to my mom, he'd usually dump his brother on her, and make her watch him even though it's his job. My mom now lives multiple towns away because of his antics of all of these factors, I have a high reputation in the small town I live in, I played football and basketball for my high school, and pretty much anyone in my town knows my name. Anytime halftime would come around playing football, he'd sneak away to go drink beer. This isn't the NFL, you can't be drinking at a high school football game. I'm thinking of starting over, and moving down to where my mom is at, train for football and basketball, get a part time job to pay for a car and my probationary license, and graduate in a different high school because that's what my father has caused me to think like. I've even had thought's of suicide because of how he treats my family; a year prior to all of this my grandfather died of leukemia, and he puts all of his drinking on that, he claims he's never done it before that, but he's asked me for so many years to fetch him beers. You know the "When son won't fetch me beers" meme? I don't even find it funny because of what feels like trauma hits me. It gets worse, he even said I'd be a good bartender even though I hated dropping everything I'm doing to fetch him beers. Some nights it got so bad, I'd have to give him two at one time. He has also talked behind my mom's back to her parents, and now they won't even talk to her. But enough about my father, let's talk about my "relatives".
First: My grandma. She is just as if not worse than him. She is a narcissist, she does Christmas as bribery for putting up with her narcissism, and if you don't do anything her way, she takes a present away. Not only that, but she hated my mom for many years as well (underpaying her, kept her away from my disabled uncle, etc). She is also very disgusting, she pees and poops in her pants, and doesn't bother to change. She laughs it off, like it's a big game, and sits in it. Her and my father died laughing as I was holding their closet door shut trying not to get scratched by their cat they pick on as well. She condones homophobia, racism, and transphobia, she always thinks you're lying when something needs to get done with her life. She claims to be a Christian, when in reality she cherry-picks The Bible. She also has disowned my transgender cousin who identifies as male, saying how "it's the devil's work on why he's transgender".
Second: My uncle. He is a failure. He has 5 children, 4 of them are with his current wife (my aunt) and they all hate him. He cut off his first born daughter and grandchild, only God knows why, he drinks, he says racist slurs, he pretty much discriminates everybody, and his opinion always needs to be heard, and it's usually about politics. He also disowned my cousin who happens to be transgender, which is makes him a horrible uncle to him
Third: My aunt. She is such a backstabber, she literally can't say anything to your face, she can't discipline her kids, she's a failure of a mother, together, her and her husband (my uncle) go bar hopping to let their kids (my cousins) "raise themselves" and she claims my mom has abused my uncle while taking care of him in place of my father. She, like my uncle, and grandmother, have also disowned my transgender cousin, and misgender him on the daily and dead-name him.
Last but certainly not least: My cousin, (a different cousin). She is a recently graduated high school student and has her whole life ahead of her, but instead rather tries to spy on my mom, and try to "relate" to me and my brother, when there's nothing to relate to only that her parents are divorced as well. Young and impressionable, but decides to throw her life away for alcohol and parties.
So in conclusion, my father's side of the family are hateful, bigoted, and live by their own rules based on their narcissism. They don't care if you're disabled or not, they don't care if you have a different opinion because it's always wrong and they're always right. You can't do anything, wear anything unless it's father approved, and you can't buy anything within a certain budget because he has to control money as well. My grandma has to have Christmas AKA the bribery for her narcissism and is probably worse than my father in terms of bigotry; disowning my transgender cousin, and cherry picks Bible verses on her day to day life.

My 25 year old son lives on his own, graduated college, very successful career. He has been on our family iCloud acct for many years and stays on to share Apple music. Long ago, I disabled purchase sharing because it prevented him from paying for his own apps. My mom is also on our family iCloud acct and last week she was trying to buy an app I had recommended to her. When she clicked to purchase it, she got a message letting her know she could download it for free because someone in our family had purchased it before. I just needed to turn on purchase sharing, so I did, and my mom got the app, but I forgot to turn purchase sharing off again. Today I received a notification from paypal about a charge for an app. and I couldn't think of any app I bought so I logged in to investigate. Apparently, the purchase was my son's, he resubscribed to the Grindr app. When he made the purchase, he would have assumed it was being charged to his credit card (as it always has been before I turned on purchase sharing).
I will admit a bit of shock. He had a girlfriend for 2 years, and has told me about many dates he has been on with girls, but its mainly shocking because I am worried that he is keeping this to himself out of fear of disappointing us. We have always been very close, and it makes me very sad thinking that he might not be sharing this with me out of fear. I can understand his apprehension with my husband, but he loves our son completely. I know my son has had a lot of anxiety lately and I feel he might be depressed as well. Please tell me the best way to handle this -- do I tell him I saw the purchase? Or do I do nothing and wait for him to come to me? I love him unconditionally, and I want him to be happy! I I am seeking advice to be sure I go about this the right way!
One more thing, back in high school he told me he had to talk to me, and he said he met up with a guy from Craigslist for a BJ. I was alarmed mostly because I don't think its safe to meet some random person on Craigslist. if he was gay or why he did it, he said, "it was just easier". I told him it could be dangerous. My shocked reaction was both but mostly out of fear of something happening with some stranger on Craigslist. Is this a thing, could he just want easy BJs? I don't want to handle this the wrong way! Perhaps he is gay and because of how I reacted to this thing in high school, he is keeping it to himself!

I took REG Monday and I'm a 4am study person. But work would give me random half days in Fridays to go study and I would go into a local hookah lounge. For months I've popped in here at noon with two computers, bag and headphones.
Hopefully my last exam was Monday. Today I took a half day because like every exam.. I seem to get a sick kid or event immediately after. My son has been running fever and my mom was in the hospital pretty critical condition from he health.
Everyone is fine , happy , healthy . But I needed a moment, so came to my old study spot.
Entirr staff was asking my how my exam went, if I was done.. how weird I looked without all my stuff. And I told them I won't know til Jul 31.
It was so funny and nice to know these people who don't know me felt like they have been here it with me. I always tipped good but if I pass, feel like I need to come celebrate here and bring them a little gift .
And cool study spots??

Growing my parents had rough marriage. It was fighting constantly,shouting matches that either handed in one of them crying or the cops begin called. They woudl avoid each other as much which in turn ment neglecting me since they didn’t want to be in the same room I had to pick one or none.
I hated them for that, it felt they they hated each other more than they loved me. I had to beg them for hours on end to show up and when they said yes they both wouldn’t saying they though the other one woudl show. I stopped doing so when I was around 12-14. They didn’t don’t seem to care which gutted me but what would have been the point of trying.
Well when I was 16 my dad ended up having a stroke he didn’t die and it didn’t have much negative affect on him but it was a scare, my mom for the first time was crying I’ve ruin and holding and kissing him, I guess that’s how they started to “reconnect.” Because they started trying to pretend to be a good couple and goof parents which pissed ‘‘em off.
they tried apologizing and tried showing up for me but quickly stopped when she got pregnant with my baby brother. Then now they were the perfect parents they showed up were affectionate everything I wanted he got so easily. I fucking hated him and even now though it’s not his fault I can’t stand him.
I didn’t bond with him which “sadden” my parents but I didn’t care, I went to college to another country and cut contact with them.
Now our contact is minimal more for my kids(4 of them) but not a lot. They don’t commute here and I’m not going to lose hours making money for them so it’s strained which my mom makes comment all the times about “wanting to see her grandkids.” But she can just come here is she wants whenever I tell her this she says they can’t afford it and expect me to pay which I would never.
Now onto the problem, last January i bough a really big family home 6 bed 4 baths my kids and wife love it it’s beside really nice schools and is a gorgeous house, it has an in law suit which most of these houses have.
My parents and brother didn’t find out till last week/I keep my life offline and the house looks similar to our old one so looking at my wife’s socials you’d think it’s the same one.
When they did found out they were shocked and pretended to be happy for me for a bit before they started complaining about all their health issues they were facings, I told them if they think I’ll move them in their stupid. That sent them off and they called me heartless and cold for still holding all those “past mistakes” onto them. My mom asked if I was fine knowing she could die and my kids wouldn’t be able to say bye to her i told her that’s her own problem.
I told them they have their perfect son right there and they can only expect him to take care of them never me. Kept yelling and I just cut the phone. I’ve ignored their calls and messages.
My wife is on my side, I told my friends and some of them think I’m begin fo cruel to them, aita?

Me (15f) is writing this down right now cause for a long time i had thoughts of just leavin my mom to stay with my dad. My mom is a great mom she tried her best but that not the problem it her old husband that the problem and my brother is the problem as well my brother (9m) is currently living with his dad let him his dad aj for now
aj was in my life until i was 8-7 years old and everyday when i am reminded of aj i just get an ick everything i see my brother i hate my brother and not a sibling hate like i generally hate my brother and this is why
Ever since my mom married aj my mom basically stopped caring for me she would feed me and bathe me and stuff but she would always be by aj side everything was about aj soon aj got my mom pregnant and my brother was soon born
i was happy at first to have a sibling that actually lives with me but over time i hated it because everything was about him now .. my mom on the weekends would take me to my dad house while she has the weekend with my brother and her husband aj
my dad is a kind man but he drinks a lot he would drink around me but he never hitted me or yelled at him or even pushed me aside my dad made everything about me
My dad never hitted me but aj did he wasnt even my father and he still hitted me, he forced me to eat food and my mom didnt care my mom just let it happen i told my mom that aj hitted me on my butt so hard i couldnt sit down cause how bad it hurted i remember crying so much that i fell asleep starved cause i didnt wanna go downstairs and see aj face
Aj forced me to call him daddy I never called my dad , daddy
i hated aj and my brother so much that at a young age i thought killing myself would set me free from even seeing aj
So i tried to do it , i tried to kill myself , but since im here typing this the attempt didn’t work so after a few years of AJ, and my mom dating ages got an abusive with my mom, hitting her yelling at her and hitting me yelling at me, but never at his son, my brother, my mom’s first boy, so what my mom did is she ran away with me and my brother we became homeless we went to the homeless shelters and AJ was stalking my mom finding my mom stealing from my mom and even trying to hurt my mom while we ran away. My mom tried her best after from moving to different houses in different parts. Ages still found us. I never finished 3rd grade. Because the amount of times we had to move because of aj I never made friends I never had a normal childhood like other people did. I soon gain social anxiety. And nightmares I remember I tried to tell my dad that AJ was hitting me, but when I told my aunt first, my dad sister she told me to not tell him and I asked why and she told me that my dad would kill him meaning I would never see him again, so I kept quiet this running and hiding and moving because of AJ‘s been happening my whole life last year in 2022 my brother told his school that my mom abuses him just because he wanted to see his dad, so CPS and DCYF came to my mom’s house, and I was questioned my brother was questioned. My mom was questioned, and my mom went to court. She told the court that AJ could have custody of my brother now this is where hell starts because I hated my brother ever since he was born I can’t stand being in the room with him. I can’t stay in a room with him because he makes me so mad so every time my mom told me to watch him I would but I always stay in my room I would sleep the whole day just so I can ignore my brother until my mom gets home now. My mom doesn’t get home until eight or 9 o’clock at night. Meaning I don’t cook for my brother until my mom gets home my brother ever since I first watched him always eat bread just bread because I wouldn’t cook for him now I know I’m in the wrong on this because I am the asshole for not feeding my brother when I did watch him but I hated him so I figured if I ignored him and I never talk to him and I just act like he’s not there. He would hate me too, but no, he never did he never hated me. When I went to Puerto Rico for my summer break every year he would call me and ask me when I was coming back just so I could watch him and I told him I might stay here forever and he got upset but I told him to give the phone back to mom and he did every year on summer vacation when I went to Puerto Rico to see my family he would call me and ask me when I was coming back in 2022 near December my brother stayed with his dad My mom gave full custody to AJ and ever since he getting custody AJ went to court testified for domestic violence against my mom say my mom abused him and my brother this year in 2023 my brother told CPS that I sexually assaulted him. My brother is nine years old and he likes cars he likes games. He likes talking to people and he loves my mom but when I heard my brother, my own brother called CPS and dcyf that I touched him I cried I cried so much, because even though I hated him, and I couldn’t stand being in the same room as him, he went and told a lie after I heard that I wanted to leave my mom because this all started because of my mom is my mom never married AJ never created my brother I I wouldn’t have these problems. I was never dragged into these problems after I heard with my brother told those people I never hated my brother more, if I ever see my brother, I would cry because I’m related to that thing I don’t even wanna call him my brother because he really isn’t. He don’t consider him as family, so am I the asshole for wanting to live with my dad and leave my mom

Hello guys this is gonna be a long post...since I barely have friends who care about me ...I can't get to see a third party view
So I am boy(18) and i live with my parents,my father is a very successful person with a very good government job and my mother is a teacher of coding languages in an engineering college,she previously worked as BCA,bsc degree college
Since I was born my father and mother were away from home for most part of the time,but after I got into the 3rd grade my parents were having lots of arguments and my mother was pregnant so she left the house and went to her mother's house ,and she left me with my dad...for context my dad is a very scary person he always shows dominance and treats me like a good for nothing kid, and for 9 months I was very scared at my very house, but even tho he is very obnoxious at that period he was a bit nice to me,i felt very left out since my mother didn't even consider asking me if I'll come with her ,she just went away
And after she returned,she was not the same person the very little love I used to get from her just stopped,it felt like she was just the maid of my house she would only talk to me about food she stopped helping me with my studies even if I failed she used to reason it with kids should learn to study by themselves and then my father and mother threw me to a corner they used to say awful stuff regarding how I'm so bad at studies,i should be greatful that they didn't disown me i agree that I was bad at studies but I used to try my best...I was restricted from going out for more than 1 hour, no tv, and they used to make sit and study for the whole day
I guess they were atleast ok till here
But then I started my highschool.... everything was bad at highschool my dad picked a highschool that had timings of 9 am to 5 pm and mon-sat and Sunday half days....it was pure torture my dad used to expect me to come home and study 12 hours to crack jee exam because his all friends son's are doing that...I was terrible at this jee thing...i hated it with every cell I had in my body...it was pure torture 9 hours daily....and I had to keep the expectations to study and score in jee and regular highschool exams...yeah both have different teachers and different syllabus
My parents used to make fun of me and talk shit about me which I used to hate very much,and then I stopped talking with them...I used to hate them,and then the depres kicked in...it was very bad...I tried to UA myself, because of academic pressure and the nearing exams,they used to have parent teacher meetings my parents used to insult me and shoutt at me infront of my classmates and my teachers it was very embarrisinghe told me how he is going to kick me out of his house tomorrow I just didn't see a point anymore to live,life was true hell but I put A lot of efforts ,I used to sleep at 5am and wake at 11pm and I used to study non stop it was a lot of dedication and hardwork I finished highschool and got respectable 80% and I failed in jee mains...well
My father's mother visited us and was staying,since my exams were over I was going out for walks with my friends at 10 pm and come back at 12pm my grandmother didn't like that she complain that to my father behind my back... And then my father said very awful stuff to me,he said how awful son I was,how I suck at studies,how I don't deserve this life,how I'm pathetic,how I'm not hardworking,and I'm punishing him by being his son and I was very broken at this point he told me if I don't want to live in his house with rules i should leave only one thing occurred to me "who am I doing this all for, who am I putting so much effort for" after he left,I started ugly crying I woke up my mother and I just said I don't want to stay here anymore I don't feel safe here,i don't want to live anymore how they both are torturing me and how much trauma it caused me...my mother seemed like she understood but that was an mistake, i told her to take a ticket to grandmother's house she said sure give my 1-2 days,i trusted her but she betrayed me she didn't do anything she just made herself in the clear and joined my father's side...she would dail say I'll make buy a train ticket but she was just bluffing I was totally heartbroken I had no one to rely on, I don't have friends even my parents don't feel like my parents,no body understood me i felt alone I felt lonely,but then my mom's father stepped in and he buyed me a ticket ,I was 17 and i travelled alone for 24 hours for the first time in a train
I then did nothing at there and was just coping but I had to come back for college... I accepted my fate and after getting a job ill block my parents was my mindset....now for college my father refused to give any money and my mother had saved some money specifically for my college but recently she buyed a very priced property blew all the savings and is in a heavy loan and now she expects My grandparents to spend money by selling their land ...I feel this is very wrong,why did my mom buy a property so suddenly just before my college,i want her to pay my college fund..even if that meant cancelling the property... I want her to choose me .. atleast for once in my life ..i cannot accept this reality
I wish I had paren who chose me anytime over these silly marks, properties and pettiness...now my mother doesn't give me a penny and says to use my savings ... I want to joina programin cource of not much money,she is saying she can't afford that,I feel backstabbed by my parents ...aita?

I had a dream on quite a few months ago. It was Halloween night when i went to bed and i woke up at 5:00am the next morning to my teenagers alarm clock going off. I quickly went and turned it off since kids don't have school the day after halloween and i wanted to "sleep in" as much as i could. Well as soon as i laid back down I heard foot steps in my living room so I thought it might be one of the kids so I got up to tell them to go back to sleep. It wasn't. Instead it was this very very tall man that resembled an entity I call "praying mantis surgeon" I saw once during a DMT ceremony I participated in. I didnt look quite like him but did at the same time. I wasn't scared at all and I asked him if he was an alien and he said "or angel, or spirit guide, or ..." and he went on to say a bunch of other words I couldnt understand. I felt familiarity when talking with him so I asked him if he was going to take me with him and I asked "am i from where you are? i dont belong here. Please take me with you!" and then he said "there is so much work you still have to do" and he started to walk out my front living room door to the entry way. I started crying and following him as he joined some others that had been waiting in the entry way and I was sobbing and yelling "i dont belong here please!" And they kept walking but looking back at me with empathy. And i was ugly crying following them saying the same thing over and over as they walked through the front door down my little walkway and then just kind of faded away. I was crying and got self conscious that my neighbors would have seen all of that as they were getting ready for the day so I went back in and I went to my room again shut the door and was sobbing and feeling abandoned and i kept saying "I don't belong here" and then i heard a voice say "wake up, that was a dream". And i did. But i was still sniffling, tears were pouring out of me and my pillow was soggy like i had been crying for hours. It was so real, like all of that actually happened. There is no way i could have fallen asleep that fast after turning alarm clocks off. I had never heard anything of the sort regarding starseeds, Pleiadians, etc...until a much older friend was telling me about one of the person she reads cards for had a similar phenomenon happen. Now she's convinced I was visited. Some happenings that occurred around that "dream". In early October my cat of several years started growing gnarly aggressive tumors and 3 weeks later she died. Her vet had never seen anything like it. While my kids were out with friends for Halloween I had agreed and took in a kitten. My kids dad dropped her off. The kitten had followed my son from the woods the same week my cat died at a state park he was hiking in with his dad. His dad and I had two kids when we were married but are divorced. He has 2 other younger kids with two other women he had right away after the divorce so he didn't want to take care of the kitten on top of all the other responsibilities. One and half months later my kids dad my ex was arrested on DV charges and I gained full custody of my two kids. The kitten is still a cutie and spends the majority of her time with my son when he is home. Its very strange for me to feel so emotional about this dream. The sadness I felt when they all started to walk away from me is still evoked when i think about it. Like I found "my people" again and then they left me again. Thats not normal for me. I cant help but wonder if they were checking on me and getting me mentally prepared for more work as I now have two teenage kids solo who are hurt, angry, depressed and full of grief that their dad was terrible to another human like he was. I would like to know more about this but I don't know what to look for and this conversation with most my friends is probably too far out there. Is this what a visitation is? Does this strange longing have anything to do with my childhood imaginary "friend"? I always talked about my husband "Habib" when i was aged 3-6. I told both my parents i was married a long time ago and we had 4 kids together. My mom has told me that sometimes I would look so sad and she'd ask why and i told her it was because I missed my husband. And so she just started asking questions about him and I answered, when she asked his name I told her it was "Habib" and described him. I stopped talking about him when i was around age 6. But i dream of him with the same name and description I gave my mom. Like he is a distant memory i cant explain.

We all know that children's books are trips. They don't have much logic to them and obviously the images are supposed to be stimulating/pleasing, not logical. But my son will ask why such and such is like this if the pictures don't align sequentially. For example.
There is a learning to read book called Go Go Trucks. There are two kids who start off with two big pick up trucks and a dog. Then in the next set of images the dog is gone and so are the trucks and they are with dump trucks.
"Where did the doggy go?"
"Where are their trucks?"
Then after the kids see or drive a bunch of different trucks, the book says time for a ride, get inside. Then they get into their mom's truck and drive around seeing big rigs and fire trucks. Then suddenly theyre not in their mom's car and are at a monster truck show or whatever.
"Where is their mommy?"
"Where did their blue pick up truck go? Is it that one?" And he points to one of the blue pick up trucks being crushed by a monster truck.
Anyway needless to say I find this book incredibly annoying to read because I can't explain the messy sequences. And I wonder why the illustrator made these image choices.
But maybe my kid is the only one who will ask these questions like literally every time? He'll do it to other books too where he doesn't understand what's happening in the images. Maybe he's too logical? 🤷‍♀️
Honestly sounds like something I would do 🫠

TL;DR: We had a medical emergency and are now no contact with MIL.
Empowered by the responses on here to my original post, I laid a firm but polite boundary with my MIL regarding an issue that had been going on since I was pregnant. It’s not related to the delayed conversation but it is part of the pattern of disrespect and cruelty. She tried to keep gifted baby items for a room in her house. They’ve been calling it (baby’s name) Room. Husband called her out on it in person and she doubled down. So last week after I posted on here, I text.
“Hey! (husband) mentioned that you’ve made a baby room for (baby) at your house? We don’t think that is necessary or appropriate! You probably should use it for something that will actually get used. Thank you!!”
I chose to do it because my husband was still afraid. I know tone is hard to read over text but I text exactly like I always do. However, when she came back rudely (she responded with a single “lol”), he did text her and tell her not to be rude.
She responded back a week later when we were in the pediatric emergency room because our newborn had a Covid-induced fever. My husband lost it.
Imagine your baby girl just had red disinfectant on her, various painful medical tests, she’s already been inconsolable due to her fever, and she’s cried so hard she’s vomited. Imagine your wife is comforting her, rocking her, singing. You’re sitting down crying taking space so as not to upset the baby any more than she already is. And your mother texts at that exact moment “your wife is the one being rude. Have her reread the long text she sent me. I say this lovingly as your family.”
She knew. She knew we had Covid. She knew our baby is young enough that a fever is an automatic emergency room visit. And she chose to pick the fight more.
Husband text back repeating that no she was the one being rude and she responded. “Chalk it up to the multiverse. Love you.”
And I finally got permission to explain calmly exactly how wrong she is. Husband is already pissed she doesn’t show care about our baby, just criticism, but for her to respond not even asking about her or her condition, he let me loose.
MIL and I went back and forth for a while, me letting out my anger and helplessness at having a sick baby. I was polite and stood up for us. But she caught me at the wrong time. Every single other time before, we’ve just let it go. But I could see a future with my baby exposed to her unchecked and I couldn’t stand it. Having baby be sick just hit my Mama Bear button. Some messages removed for length but here’s the important parts verbatim.
Me: Your son just had to watch his newborn crying in agony at the emergency room. And you’re angry that we think your “Baby Room” is uncomfortable? Have some compassion. Communicate with kindness. Grow up.
MIL: My husband agrees with me and thinks you were out of line. Please stop creating drama! Please stop being rude to me!
Me: Communicating how you feel is not creating drama. And it’s not rude. It’s sad you read all of that and all you could do is play the victim in response. Please reflect and actually consider what I’ve said.
MIL: You texting, out of the blue, that I should not expect to see my granddaughter is unusual. The fact that I tried to laugh at your unbelievable rudeness, is not me being a victim. I was trying to support you and not draw out your condition. Sorry for being considerate. And yes, I thought you were over the top rude for no evident reason.
Me: Are you saying you won’t see her unless we support you having an entire room for her? Draw out my condition? What are you even talking about?
MIL: Hormones or nutcase? There’s no room!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Wow. This is why your son can’t communicate with you. Because you respond like this. And it’s really sad. “Lol” is not support and “!!!!!!!” Is not a normal response. Take a breather if you need to. This is not the best way to handle this. You’ve got to know that on some level.
Meanwhile, husband text her again “this is really disappointing :( please be more empathetic mom.” We haven’t heard from her since.
The thing is, her gaslighting about there not being a room is so insane. Everyone in the family has heard about it. She even painted the walls and talked about having a crib. She held our crib hostage to try to put it in the room!
Husband turned to me and just said “she played that so wrong. Starting with the lol and ending with calling you a nutcase.”
So yeah, thanks to this sub and her behavior, we are no contact with her! We are still talking to SIL (she actually got us groceries when she found out our baby was sick) and will probably stay in contact with FIL. I still don’t understand MIL or her intentions and I think I could go crazy trying to work it out.
I’m absolutely refusing to see a woman who called me a nutcase without a sincere apology. And baby doesn’t go anywhere without me. So she got her projected wish. She won’t be seeing her grandchild. Honestly, I really pity her. She’s a liar with a victim complex and she’s miserable because of it.

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

My seven year old has had behavior problems for as long as I remember. He has ADD and has had some improvement from medication and therapy. But he still has a big problem with coping with feelings of anger or disappointment despite learning and practicing coping skills constantly. I really struggle in the summer because I don't get breaks from a kid that still needs me quite a bit and dealing with his behavioral challenges.
He went to a half day camp this week. Half day camps are really hard to find around here, they are all mainly full day which are too much for him. This place had one half day week which was this week and then a full day week later in the summer. I had my doubts about how he would do but this camp doesn't give refunds whatsoever despite the fact that they book up far in advance and wouldn't have an issue finding another kid to take a spot.
Anyway, maybe it's shitty but every day I picked up my son I didn't ask about how he did because he seemed happy and I figure it it was really important they would talk to me. Because I need this break for my mental health and whenever I'm told about how my son did xyz it fucking destroys me and ruins my day/week so no I'm not volunteering for that. And no one told me anything bad when I picked him up.
My mom picked him up today and decided to call while I was in the middle of eating my favorite treat that I was looking forward to. Told me that she asked because "it's important to know" and about how he has a meltdown every day and that he isn't ready for the full day camp later this summer. And that was the only reason she called and hang up shortly after. Thanks mom. I was just starting to feel happy and a little bit myself for the first time in months (my mil recently died of cancer and I've been quite a mess over it) so thank God you called and told me that right this instant because otherwise I might have made it through a half a day without crying and I don't deserve to not feel fucking terrible and anxious at any given time so I guess I really needed to be taken down another fucking peg before I get all uppity or something.
I know my son. I know he's not gliding through the day easily. No one in this family puts even a tenth of an effort that I do into taking care of him and trying to get to the bottom of his behavioral issues. He's still happy at camp and excited to go and I was happy to live in ignorance if the counselor was willing to let me. And if the camp isn't going to refund me the many hundreds I paid because he's not an easy kid then I'm going to fucking send him and get what I paid for.
Seriously mom, WHY did you have to ruin my day.

My boyfriend 21M and I 19F have been together about 11 months. Our relationship is great, except that I know his parents don’t like me. He still lives with his parents, Dad M45 and STEP mom F38 who are both teachers. My boyfriend and I live about 35 minutes away from each other. I have only been to my boyfriend’s house a handful of times, and he is at my house at least once a week. The first time I met my boyfriend’s parents everything was fine. It was a normal meeting, we all chatted- nothing weird or bad at all. That was literally the last time I’ve ever talked to his step mom though. His dad has talked to me a little bit the second time I went over there, but the conversation lasted like 5 minutes.
The last few months I went over there they have said nothing to me, not even acknowledging I was there. There are a few things that may be the reason his parents don’t like me. My boyfriend stays the night at my house a few times a month. His parents do not like that he stays over, they have expressed this to him a few times. That hasn’t stopped him though. He has an older brother who has a girlfriend as well. We all started dating around the same time. And I met his parents first. From what I can tell they have a better relationship, so I know that it is me they don’t like.
My boyfriend recently told me that during Christmas he heard his parents referring to me as “that girl” when he wasn’t in the room. He also told me that his dad had the “use protection” talk with him but chose to include a story about his uncle got trapped into marrying a girl because she intentionally stopped taking her birth control without telling him, alluding that I may do that to him. It makes me very uncomfortable that his dad would talk about a then 18 year old girl like that. Pls that’s something I would never do, I’m in college and kids are the last thing on my mind.
It just hurts cause his parents really don’t know me so I don’t understand where all this is coming from. My boyfriend has said something to his parents, and his dad said that he feels like I do not like them. I will say that I have been holding a grudge because I genuinely have been trying my best to be nice to them. I will say that over the months my boyfriend has told me about some of the things his parents do (charge him rent and refer to him as their tenant rather than son; not including him in family things) and it may have given me a bad opinion of them a bit. I know it’s only his side of the story, but I’m very protective over my bf and it’s hard to hear stuff like that.
Either way this whole situation has put my boyfriend in the middle, which is something I don’t want to do to him. He’s had enough family drama in his life and I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose. He wants me to let go of my grudge and try and start over. I’m having a hard time agreeing to that. I don’t think I’ll ever see them as genuine anymore. And I also don’t want to go back to their house because of how uncomfortable and unwelcome they make me feel.
So I just want to know, am I the asshole for not wanting to let go of my grudge and hurt feelings and try again with my boyfriend’s parents?

So, my son DM's a 5e game, and occasionally invites me to play along as a temporary add-on character, essentially an NPC for specific missions. Last time it was as "Ahmed the Inconsistent", a merchant caravan master with a penchant for crisis-dependent price hikes. My ability to role-play the character, even if I'm not completely conversant with all the role changes since 3.5, means I add a bit of comedic content to what most of these kids is almost just a dice game.
This time, he needs a cleric, but with some very specific parameters. I'm trying to come up with a spell list.
Here's the backstory. This poor guy is in a bit of a jam. His mother was dying, and so he begged the gods to save her. The only one who answered was the goddess of cute and fuzzy animals (name to be determined). She agreed to heal his mom, if he became her cleric on the mortal plane. He agreed, but in some ways began to regret it.
For one, this guy was a bit of a con artist prior to his accepting the deal. Sadly, he wasn't quite on the top of his game when he was negotiating, nor did he have time to research the details of this particular goddess's paradigm. At first, he was ecstatic to learn of the powers he gained from being her only high cleric, capable of mental manipulation at near god-like levels. However, there were a couple inescapable caveats that spoiled his plans for self-enrichment.
A: He cannot cause direct physical harm to any living creature. This is a hard and fast rule. The goddess is the deity of cute and fuzzy things, and thinks everything is cute and fuzzy, even dragons. And can't stand the thought of harming anything directly. That being said, if his enemy is turned invisible and a horse drawn wagon fails to see him before running him over, that's just life, you know? It's a loophole the cleric figured out. Goddess is not pleased with it, but can't seem to find anything in her own rules to punish him for it, so usually will let it slide as long as it doesn't cause death.
B: He is not allowed to use his powers for self-benefit. He can't use his mind powers to convince people to give him money. He also can't use it for "self" defense, as that would "benefit him". He can use it to defend others, though, he just has to come up with some way to benefit himself indirectly.
C. He doesn't have great charisma. He never really had it before, and the goddess could see his greedy nature, which is why she placed the restrictions she did on her granted powers. This doesn't affect his ability to use those powers, as they are powers granted directly through prayer. If she catches him thinking about how it will benefit himself, she simply doesn't allow the spell to activate. But it means he has a hard time getting people to cooperate in his schemes.
So, as far as spell lists goes, I am thinking about the following:

1. Spell of Clarity - Anti-alcohol/anti-hangover spell, clears toxins from the body.
2. Spell of Inebriation - Opposite of Clarity
3. Afflict Formication - ("FORM"-ication, not that other word. get your head out of the gutter.) Causes target to feel like they have ants crawling over their body. This often results in frantic clothing removal, unless there is a significant will save.
4. Misdirection - Temporarily launches charisma through the roof. People automatically believe what he says. "The thief went that way, sir knight!" or "No, this guy's been right here with me the whole time". But again, the goddess will punish with karmic retaliation if he tries to use it for his own benefit, even at one remove.

Any other ideas you guys have?

I had stage 3 endo and excision surgery in 2018. I was completely pain-free for almost 2 years after surgery, and then it was only bad on the first day of my cycle. For the past 6-8 months it's been getting progressively worse. Usually, ibuprofen 800 (script from a year or two ago when I messed up my arm, but we don't throw away the good stuff) takes it down to a manageable level, but this month it hasn't even made a dent in my pain.
This cycle has been especially painful and I still had to do all of the things. I can't take a week off because of the pain. I have to be a mom to my kids and take them places, I have obligations at church to take care of, I need to go grocery shopping, do housework, etc. It's been even more than normal this week because my son got a concussion on Wednesday and I had to take him to the ER for a CT scan and then his doctor for a follow-up, all while I'm at a level 8 and nothing is helping.
I have an appointment with my Gyn to talk about a second surgery, but that's not until the end of August and surgery won't be until October at the soonest. I can't do 4+ more months of this without any relief. I have a physical with my GP next week. I'm hoping he can prescribe something to manage the pain and I don't have to wait months to get into a pain specialist. I don't want to take narcotics because I get really dizzy and nauseous from them. I've had 3 different ones prescribed after different surgeries and they were all awful. I only took the bare minimum after surgery to not be dying from the pain.

Hello! Newly Catholic convert here. I'm looking for advice as I don't have anybody to talk to or many friends.
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year. He tries to be a very Traditional Catholic. My boyfriend is extremely nice and caring and wants to take care of me and wants me to be so happy.
Something has been rubbing me the wrong way lately. He's making me feel like I can't talk to any guy at all as friends or coworkers. It's like he expects me to be mean to them, and I'm such a happy, merry person, that's not like me at all.
I have a 12 year old with another guy and he gets mad when I have to talk to him. He hates him because "he slept with me before" (obviously 12 years ago. I believe in being civil and getting along to raise our child. There's no drama between us and we broke up when our son was 1.
He gets upset when guys at the gym talk to me (innocent questions, like if I'm done with something)
He wants me to become a stay at home mom next year, and says he will buy weights so I don't have to go to the gym. But I feel like his motive is to keep me inside so no guys can see me or he around me.
He made me delete snapchat, which I was fine with. But there was a few people I talked to every once in awhile. But it was a battle I didn't care about fighting.
He says I'm attractive so he knows guys want me, and he just loves me so much so he wants to protect me.
I'm trying to become a strong confident woman, and it's starting to feel controlling to me. He's not abusive whatsoever, for the record. I've let guys in my past change who I am , so it's really bothering me and I do not want to lessen myself.
He constantly reminds me that marriage is forever, so he always tells me "if I cheat" , we're not getting a divorce. (I would never cheat or want to cheat, but he constantly threatens that)
I feel like it's making me not like becoming Catholic and also scared to get married and stop working.