"The gift of war." the alien attorney for the humans said through a translator, in English.
"Well, that is what I thought you had meant." the other alien considered: "that humans offer the singular gift of warfare, but then you mentioned the cataclysmic attack on your home world and colonies, the eradication of your people."
"No, that isn't what I was referring to, at least not directly. I meant it should be obvious that humans alone are capable of engaging this enemy unknown. We should be grateful, for without their sacrifice, enduring a history of warfare, there would be no hope."
"I will not agree with you. We Sunder could find a way to deal with the Dark Beings. We've done such a thing before."
"To the Skiesene?" Osowl Fitten, the alien attorney who looked like an armored sea otter to the humans asked.
"Yes. Ages ago we put an orbital shoal around their planet. They cannot leave, there will be no ascent for them."
"Yes, and for that there are no Skiesene flying around the Milky Way. So you did what was best for all others, beside the Skiesene. Quite clever."
"What would you have said, to overturn such a case? You could have stopped me."
"I'd have told the judges we cannot fathom how Skiesene will treat others. The violence among them is entirely ritualized. We cannot be certain such a drastic measure is necessary." Osowl said after her companion waited patiently for the attorney to think of what she wanted to say.
"That's it?" Eshka gestured dissatisfaction with the rebuttal.
"Do you think the judges wouldn't overturn your recommendation with such an argument?" Osowl asked coyly.
"Well, I don't think that. I know better. It just lacks flair, there's no compelling idiom to go with it. Perhaps by asking a question?" Eshka hissed quietly in Sunderian, the main language of the Sunder, while using universal gestures with her hands and dancing moodily with her long serpentine coils.
"Then I would say it better, your way, like: 'how can we be sure this is the correct measure of action, when we have only seen Skiesene use violence in rituals that have complex rules they strictly follow? and allow the judges to reconsider the Sunder recommendation."
"But not the verdict? You never go for the prize, you are so modest - so moderate. Why is that?" Eshka complained.
"It is my way." Osowl said simply, twitching her whiskers against the boney part of her jaw, in her own language. The Sunder needed this repeated several times to decipher it, but the human got it and said:
"It is how she does it. She does it how she prefers." Jinar translated into English.
"I see. You do not think my suggestions are an improvement. That is okay. I am with you from now on, and when my way does not prevail, we have yours, which always does, in the end." Eshka said.
"We talk about everything except where we are going. Do you not worry about preparing yourselves to produce a war? We have no funding, among the Combine, they will not give us a defense budget that is not merely a fraction of their minimal planetary defenses. I've got my best lieutenants trying to figure out how we can talk them into bringing back the Combine Unified Forces. When I return they will report to me and we shall make our move on the Combine. Before that happens, we will tour the galaxy and see what help we can get from these new friends of humanity. Humans are the last aliens standing between all you stuffed animals and those giant plasma shooting bug demons. We got to make believers out of everyone, convince them they should do their part in the war effort."
"Your plan is admirable. We go to three worlds that will let us come to them for trade. The first will be the Sunder colony of Basilik, those are the ones you asked for who craft artifice for our purposes. After that, we have Tarnac where the Riftin are weaving baskets. Last on our tour we'll head for Arienta and visit the Blue Light Watchers to see what alchemical wonders they will make glow for us if we ask them to show off their chemistry." Eshka said with some kind of pseudo-approval.
"Admiral, I don't get it. We visit some snakemen and then on to the basket weaving monkeys and then we turn around where the punk rock tarantulas are brewing pharmaceuticals. What's our mission?" Skipper McCain asked.
"That's enough of that. We need the Sunder creativity in weapon design, I wanna have surprises for the Unknown, like Christmas morning. The Riftin are an ascended species, I'm sure they can do more than weave baskets, so we'll go find out. Those drugs you mentioned, they could induce Star Sleep in humans if we asked them nicely. You wanna live forever, Skipper?"
"No Admiral, I just didn't realize what the plan could be. I'm not even at half your IQ, I just see monkeys weaving baskets, I don't see what you see." Skipper McCain said.
"Honey, just fly the ship. I didn't bring you to question me."
"The ship flies itself, and I am sure that is what you brought me for."
"They are just monkeys weaving baskets. Where are those Skiesene you mentioned?" Admiral Jinar asked Eshka.
"They live on the moons of Kriesene, each of their clans on a different moon. There is no way to easily get to them, for their world is surrounded by shoals." Eshka sounded oddly worried.
"And they can fight? They aren't pacifists?" Admiral Jinar asked.
"Well, they are capable of a highly ritualized form of violence. It is quite horrifying, I think even you humans would be appalled by their massacres." Eshka said. "I argued they should be contained and I won. Now it is so. I have a regret, for I have reconsidered what the right course would be. If you wish to risk our lives to visit them, hoping for warriors, then I will come, for I feel responsible for their fate, as I have spoken against them." Eshka said solemnly.
"This visit will be added to our itinerary." Admiral Jinar said, "But we are going to make our appointments. There is no war machine, we have to build it."

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.

Found this very interesting interview. Read the tl;dr part if you hate reading longass walls of text.
Note: Page 1 is mostly about Ryou's early days as a struggling novelist, then mangaka assistant and then mangaka and workflows during analog and digital era, the only important part is that Boy's Abyss is... not much of a culmination of her mangaka career, but a work where she can satisfy her ego the most, so i skipped them due to time. Pages 2, 3 and 4 have more info about Abyss.
PART 2: ABOUT BACKGROUND DESCRIPTIONS THAT SUPPORTS THE HUMAN DRAMA
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index2.html
--How do you decide on the locations for your works?
It depends, but I tend to choose places where I have spent time in the past or places that remain in my memory.
--I see. Is there anything important to remember in order to recall the right location for the scene?
You can't open a drawer where there isn't one, so I think it's important to look at various places on a regular basis to increase the number of drawers.
--In "Shounen no Abyss", bridges seem to appear many times in important scenes, including in the first episode. Is this intentional?
Yes, it is. In the first episode, I put the bridge as a kind of borderline between life and death, and I think that the readers came to feel the danger from the bridge. So I may have consciously chosen to use a bridge in decisive scenes. Also, since Reiji is a person who cannot decide for himself whether to live or die, I have him hovering on the bridge, which is between life and death.
(Footnote for a panel from ch. 2: From the second chapter, "Incognito Date". The location of the bridge makes us feel more that Reiji is wandering between life and death.)
--I see. By having them perform on the bridge, you are also conveying the character's condition and humanity.
(Footnote with a page from ch.87: From episode 87, "After the dream". In episode 87, which is set in Tokyo, Reiji's wavering state of mind is expressed in detail using a bridge as a stage.)
--I feel that the timing of the rain is also very well thought out.
Rain is an indispensable element in a gloomy work like this, so I often think about the weather from the plotting stage. Also, when I draw rain, I imagine myself being in the rain. It is cold, my clothes stick to my skin, it gets in my eyes.... I hope that the reader can feel these things.
(Footnote with the page where Akira betrays Shino'oka and gives in to Yuko's temptation in ch102: From Chapter 102, "Amid the Overflowing Water". The texture of the rain effectively shows Nozoe's inclined mind.)
--you have to think about what kind of environment the person is in and what kind of air he/she breathes.
I think it depends on the type of work. For my works, that kind of accumulation is important, but there are also works where other things are important. I think you should think about it according to the kind of work you want to paint.
PART 3: ABOUT THE PICTURE DESIGN THAT SUPPORTS THE WORK
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index3.html
--I assume that it was difficult to learn to draw pictures from a place with no experience in manga.
I learned by trial and error while actually drawing. Even now, I still have a hard time with drawings.
--I see. I (the interviewer) like the pictures in "Shounen no Abyss" very much because they match the content of the story, but it seems to me that you have changed the design of the pictures quite a bit from your past works. How did you decide on the style?
When I started my first serial, "Hoboreru Hanabi", I didn't have time to choose the style yet, so I drew what I could draw at the time. From the next serial, "Himegoto: Juukyuusai no Seifuku," I started to think about "making the eyes a little bigger" or "adding deformation.
--In the next serial work, "Hatsukoi Zombie," you used a much more deformed style of drawing. Why is that?
I think it was because it was serialized in a shounen magazine called "Shounen Sunday. I was conscious of the drawings of Rumiko Takahashi, who I have been a fan of for a long time.
--Did you have the medium of "Weekly Young Jump" in mind when you created the artwork for "Shounen no Abyss"?
If anything, I tried to make the design more in line with the content of the book. Considering the content, for example, it was difficult to use the same body size and eye size as the characters in "Hatsukoi Zombie". However, in the case of "Shounen no Abyss," the reality line differs slightly from character to character, and the way in which deformation is added is different for each character.
--Do you have any advice for new artists who want to improve their drawing?
I think it is important to be aware of the importance of observing what you are drawing. If you just draw from your imagination, you will end up with buildings whose structures you don't know, or wrinkled clothes that don't convey the texture of the wearer's clothing, which is a habit of mine. The result is a worldview that is not convincing. In this age of the Internet and other sources of information, it is important to observe the subject matter carefully and draw it, rather than making rough guesses.
--Do you still search for materials when you draw props, backgrounds, etc.?
Yes, I do. For example, I think about "What kind of room would this person live in?", "What kind of shoes would she wear?", "What kind of car would she drive? I think that the accumulation of such details leads to the sense of daily life that is conveyed in the work.
From episode 19, "seducer". The decor and accessories in Chako's room give us a sense of her life. (there was a page from that chapter i can't put in the post, gomwnnasai, gomennasai, gomennasai....)
End of part 3
PART 4: ABOUT WEEKLY SERIALIZATIONS (this is the important shit)
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index4.html
-I feel that "Shounen no Abyss" has a great live-action feel to it. The characters' actions and the development of the story are unpredictable, and each time I am surprised to see how the story will unfold. Do you have a rough idea of how the story will unfold?
There is a general flow of the story, but basically, I myself draw the story while excitedly thinking, "Well, what will this person say or do on the next page?" In a nutshell, is this a romcom in which Reiji meets a variety of women and decides who he will fall in love (or into the abyss)? It's something like that (T/N: Ryou answered like questioning and answering to herself in the last paragraph of this section)
--I have heard that the starting point of the project for "Shounen no Abyss" was "a story about a double suicide" Do you often draw the story with the theme in mind?
Yes, I decide on the axis to some extent at the beginning. If there is nothing at all, the project itself will not be communicated, and it will be difficult to start a serialization.
--I think that in a weekly serialization, it is necessary to attract the reader intensely in the first episode. What were you conscious of in the first episode of "Shounen no Abyss"?
It's an ensemble piece, so I was conscious of showing all the main characters in the first episode. I also decided to make a memorable appearance of the heroine, Nagi, in the last part of the episode. I also thought about the order of the characters that Reiji meets. First, he meets Shiba-chan, who is outside of his interest, and then he meets and talks with his friend Chako. Then his childhood friend Gen would appear, and things would take a turn for the worse. Then, his family, which is the most painful existence for Reiji, makes an appearance. Then he crosses paths with a mysterious man, and finally a beautiful and bewitching woman appears. In order to make it easier for the reader to enter the world of the work, I made the flow of the story gradually fall into darkness.
--It's like Reiji is going down a flight of stairs one step at a time.
Yes, Nagi is waiting for him when he descends the last step. I changed the background accordingly. When he is with his friend Chako, the sun is out, and when the sun begins to set, he meets his family, and by the time he meets Nagi, it's already nighttime.
--I'm so impressed...! You have built in the backgrounds and elaborated on the details.
(Footnote for 2 pages from the 1st chapter that were shown: Both are from the first episode, "The Boy from That Town". He meets his friend Chako on his way to school in the daylight, but by the time he meets his family, it is dark and shadowy outside. The contrast of the background also depicts Reiji's descent into darkness.)
--What are the most important things outside of your work when working on a weekly series?
Physical strength is important. I also think it is important to keep your mind clear and avoid unnecessary stress. There are many times when I think, "I should have done this better," or "It will be difficult this time because I did that last time," but there is no use in overthinking things, so I try to switch over as soon as possible.
--Finally, do you have any advice for new artists?
I think it is important to have a lot of input while you are young, and to push your luck a little in creating your work.
--Thank you for your valuable talk!
Now, the tl;dr:
-2: Bridges in this manga are used as a gate between life and death.
-1: rain is important in this manga to depict the characters' overflowing emotions.
0: Ryou had to choose carefully the type of atmosphere and air for this manga.
1: Ryou drew Drowning Fireworks on a rush and could define a proper style, she shifts styles according to the tone and magazine shenis doing her works for.
2: She had to study locations and interior plaves to depict characters, their lives and mental states.
3: Boy's Abyss is a romcom on its structure. And the characters were introduced in a way you could instantly get familiarized with from the start, as it's an ensemble work.
4: characters were introduced in a way you can feel Reiji is going downstairs into the abyss. Yuri being the first because she's the character he's the least interested into, Chako next because she's the sun, the light, she's Kana Arima... okno, and Nagi last because she's Chako's thematical opposite and had to have an impactful introduction. and the endgame and endgoal are already decided since day one. Nagi is waiting for Reiji to do the last step
5: a good physical condition, being resourceful and brave enough are the keys for a successful weekly story.
That's it. See ya tomorrow.

This complete guide on The Fool tarot card is brought to you by psychics4u.net. For more valuable information, insights and resources, visit: http://psychics4u.net/
What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:

1. The fool’s journey tarot card description and symbolism.
2. Personality traits.
3. The meaning in love, relationship, money, work, career and health.
4. Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
5. Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
6. How to read the fool’s journey tarot card in upright and reversed position.
7. The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future.
8. The meaning of the number 0 (zero) and 22.
9. Interpretation of astrological zodiac sign.
10. Meaning as feelings.
11. The fool tarot card art and history.

The fool tarot card meaning: Description and symbolism
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
Feel free to write your thoughts or questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!

Yellow y’all, I am a Junior in High School currently in a program my public school has where they send us to another school to take a class. I am taking the Veterinary Science Class and we have been working on a project for a bit now. It is a career project were we research a career we are interested in. There are 2 parts to the project. The first part is the research portion. We research what education we need and were we can go to get it to reach our career goal as well as information about the career relating to what it requires, does it involve travel, how laborious is it, what is needed for it, what are the patient relationships like, what is the social aspect like, the requirements for the career, etc. This is the easier portion for me, but the harder portion I have found is the second part. For the second portion is a grade by itself and contributes to the first parts grade. (Both summative grades) What is required for this second portion is we must find someone who works in the field and contact them about interviewing them on their experiences in the field. (What it has been like for them, what I should know about it, and any tips, tricks, or forewarnings I should know) I had ended up finding a farrier in the area that seemed nice and who is exspeinced and licensed. I had emailed them emailed them explaining who I am, the project I was doing this for, and where I go to school with the class the project was for. I covered everything my teacher had told everyone in the class to do. She had given us a template to use and base our emails off of and I did while changing it up a little bit to be friendly, but keeping the main necessary content in it. I singed off at the bottom of the email with my name again, my email that was used to send this email, and my phone number if she would prefer to use that instead. After about 2 - 3 weeks with no response I sent a follow up email that my teacher also gave us a template for. The email templates we had were made in class as a class. It was part of the creative/business aspect in the project. After about 10 days with no response I was ready to tell my teacher about the situation and ask what to do when I finally got my first and, spoiler alert, only response. She explained that she was traveling and didn’t check her email in that amount of time. She said that she was now trying to ketchup on her email now. In her email to me she said and I quote “Are you interested in learning about traditional horse shoeing? I am a natural hoofcare provider with my focus being barefoot trims. I only have a handful of horses in composite type shoes that I strictly glue on. I do not use nails or work with metal shoes so I am not sure I’d be the best fit if you are planning to attend a horseshoeing school. I can recommend other traditional farriers locally to shadow if that is the direction you may want to pursue. However, if you are interested in a natural barefoot approach then I am happy to chat with you and have you join for shadowing.” End quote. I showed my teacher the email the next day looking for advice as to how I should respond. My teacher said to continue to try and make plans for an interview and potential job shadow that she seemed interested in taking on. My teacher also told me to try and get the other recommendations as well. I then replied to her email saying how I would be happy to learn from her and job shadow with her or at the very least do an interview with her. I also then said how my teacher suggested I ask if I could have the other farrier recommendations. After that I mentioned again how much it would mean to me if she gave me the chance and for her to have a wonderful night. That’s was sent march 17th. Still no reply. After a bit of waiting for a response I tried calling her because in her email she left her number. It went to voicemail so I left a voicemail message saying who I am, my number, project information from my first email, and that I am still interested in the interview and at least a job shadow. I haven’t received a return call or any missed calls. In her voicemail she said if she isn’t able to get back to you within a few days to message her through text, so I did. I was then left on read for about a week until I asked my teacher what to do. She suggested I ask if I can at least interview her over the phone or have her just send me a message of answer to my questions. So that is what I asked her sending the same message through both text and email. I also provided her with example questions that I would be asking in the message. I have been since left on read with no reply. I am now turning to searching for someone new on here to help me. I just need someone to answer a few questions on their experience being a farrier. It would mean so much to me if someone could help me here. I understand everyone here has their own lives and must be busy with such, but this assignment is due may 22nd and today is may 14. I only have 8 days left for this second portion and I hope y’all understand. Sorry this came out to be so long. Please, have a wonderful rest of your day and my email is katelynnzannoni99@gmail.com if anyone can help. Thank you.

Hello there
I’m just really looking for any experience similar to mine, in 2019 I was awarded standard daily living and standard mobility with a review due last May. Sent the AR1 back in June 23, with all changes at that time listed - all received by DWP.
Between then and end of march this year things changed quite drastically so I decided to type up a letter to DWP and send it in with what has changed. The very same day I sent it, I got my assessment appointment through for end of April.
Got through that, explained everything as well as possible and also explained that the now 10 month old AR1 was only relevant for some of the issues, so went through the new too. Assessment report is fine, no issues and shows a recommended move up to Enhanced DL and Mobility, which I half expected. The only thing I would say is the short review date of 1.5 years, but isn’t that extended to 2.5 award end date, that’s just when the review period starts?
Text message from DWP says
“About your PIP review. The health professional has sent us their report. We will make a decision on your PIP, but it may take 6 weeks before you hear from us. You will continue to get PIP while your award is being reviewed. You only need to contact us if your circumstances change.”
But now how long do we REALLY wait, does anything get backdated (not too worried about that as the timeline for degenerative illness is so varied) lack of patience is possibly one of my worst traits, I’m doing all I can to stop sitting stewing over it but I’m also a natural born worrier! I understand the delays are huge, but any insight would be incredibly helpful and appreciated!
Cheers in advance

I’m a 22 year old female he’s a 48 year old male. I’m a basic and he’s a paramedic. We’ve both been in the game for about 3 years. He’s a horrific driver (tried to fucking kill us), likes to diagnose patients with zero imagining, has no capacity recognize that he might be wrong, and is disrespectful as hell as to anyone and everyone.
When we met, he explained to me that he was working on being less of a perfectionist and less nitpicky to his partners. He told me that he had a lot of issues with partners at a nearby company and eventually left for whatever reason. I took into account that he is a perfectionist, but I didn’t fully grasp the extent of his “perfectionism.” I’m a super open and accepting person. I can work with just about anyone. This guy is insane. He has two DUIs, an open container charge, and a felony. He also has a legal guardian. The reason for his conservatorship isn’t pubic but I’m going to assume it has something to do with the fact that he’s fucking crazy. His ex wife has a restraining order against him.
He’s PHYSICALLY abusive. I asked him (kindly) to stop pushing the gurney into me. He kept running into me with it and it was impacting our ability to cohesively operate the gurney. I was more than willing to work on resolving the issue, but I was met with hostility and aggression. He then intentionally pushed it into me MORE and pushed me into the pole to type the code in outside of the hospital (with both of the patient’s bare feet pressed against my arms and my butt pressed against the gurney). I had already requested if we could switch sides and he states “I guess you’re not even capable of holding a gurney” in a condescending tone. He did not let me switch sides. Another time, instead of asking me to move over or saying “excuse me” while I was in his way, he threw an elbow into me. This was the point where I began to see that he was frustrated with me. The reason he was frustrated is because he asked me to put the patient on the monitor and fire told me to wait until we got her downstairs (she was on fire’s monitor at the time). I listened to fire’s direction since he had exited the room to retrieve something from the truck. I thought that he would understand. He was unable to see that I took direction from the other paramedics on scene and he viewed this as disobedience/disrespect.
His “perfectionism” seems to be rooted within the inability to recognize an alternative perspective. For example, he tells me that he places IVs into the external jugular vein “all the time.” An RN at the hospital tries to call his bluff and he DOUBLES DOWN on his claim. The RN explains how this is incredibly risky and should only be done in dire situations. He argues that it’s not risky and that people even request them. The RN explains to me that he was a paramedic for several years before becoming a nurse, and that my partner should NOT be doing EJs as often as he says he is. He continues to argue and the nurse challenges him on his IV skills. The nurse brings out an ultrasound and asks him to use it to get an IV on a tough stick. He agrees and tries to use the ultrasound machine to get an IV on a random person after we had already been status checked (when we’ve been at the hospital for 30+ minutes and dispatch wants us to go available). He was ultimately unsuccessful.
He thinks that I cannot help lift patients. We had a call where a 255lb woman fell and couldn’t get up. I got into the typical front lifting position, he got behind her, and then he told me to step aside because he’ll be the only one lifting anyway. Another time we were at the hospital doing a sheet transfer with an average weighted male. He got on one side, I got on the other, and he said “I can’t do this by myself, I’m gonna need some actual help.” He did this another time on a call when we were going to move a patient to the gurney. He asked a fireman to grab the left leg, the fireman was on the other side of the room and I was right there, so I took the initiative to grab the leg. He was really irritated about it. Nobody else was. It was an easy lift.
Horrific and dangerous driving: He opposed traffic at a high speed on a one lane airport ramp and narrowly avoided being hit. He told me to go to airport arrivals (after I objected!!). I let him know that the clearance was too low and I no longer feel comfortable navigating the situation. He proceeded to oppose traffic at 30-40mph down the worst possible path. It was a one-way ramp with a very narrow lane along a curve with zero visibility and zero space to pull over. Another vehicle began driving in reverse and the car behind that one had to swerve to avoid rear ending them. I yelled at him to turn around. He yelled back and said “there’s no room.” I told him to “make a 12 point turn if you need to.” He insisted on NOT using sirens to do this and I turned them on anyway. Not a single car on that ramp would be able to see that we were traveling head-on towards them at a high rate of speed due to the curve, but they’d be able to hear us with sirens. He complied and made a multiple-point turn (he fully backed into the curb while doing so), then drove into oversized parking. He proceeded to tell me (at the top of his lungs) to “shut the fuck up,” and yelled “I’m so done with you.” I explained to him that it was reasonable for me to be scared when he put us in a very dangerous situation. He screamed at me some more, we went into the call, got cancelled, then he called the supervisor. I went into the back of the ambulance for a minute to process what just happened, my partner was nowhere to be found, so I got in the driver’s seat and relayed cancel 851 by fire over the radio. He ripped open my door and said “get out. I’m driving.”
He told me I’m “disgusting” when I asked what I did wrong. He told me I was disgusting the day prior as well. I actually recorded the second one (I was recording because I was TERRIFIED and he was angry)
Became wildly offended when I let him know that he left a IM syringe+needle on the back of the gurney and that it fell out on the floor at the hospital. The nurse noticed it and became concerned. I didn’t say this with any sort of intention of offending him, but it did indeed offend him. Not only did he recap the used needle, he threw it on the back of the gurney and forgot about it.
He likes to sit in the EMS room and write his report while getting status checked multiple times as well. A supervisor even called him while we were in the EMS room and he lied to them by saying “we’re just now getting the patient off the gurney, we’ll go available soon.” We had unloaded the patient long before that and were completely ready to go available several minutes prior. This was the first time we worked together. On the 3rd shift we had together, I went into the EMS room and asked him if he knows that we have 30 minutes to go available (we had gotten status checked). I figured that he might just not be aware of the rule since he is still new to the company, but he took great offense to my question and stormed off. I thought that he was storming off to go available, but no, he was storming off to sit in the back of the ambulance and attempting to transmit his vitals. The service is poor at this particular, so vital transmission is slow IF it actually goes through. He somehow blames this on me, even though I’ve explained to him that they’ll transmit in an area with better reception. Obviously I still hit the ‘retry’ button several times to make him happy.
He became frustrated on our first shift when I preferred that we post within 1 mile of our post. He wanted to get food and I explained to him that we have to post within 1 mile of our assigned post. He called me a goody-two-shoes and I explained to him that I don’t want to get in trouble for posting more than a mile away.
He told me that he has been “warned” that I’ve been written up multiple times for behavioral issues as a means to justify him telling me to “shut the fuck up” about him opposing traffic in a very dangerous situation. I have never ONCE been written up for a behavioral issue. I asked if he was mistaking me for someone else or if he had received misinformation, but he continued to stonewall me. All forms of communication where he was not screaming at me, he was stonewalling me.
He never had my back. He waited in the truck while I was in a woman’s second floor apartment ama’ing her by myself. I was up there for a while because she was very talkative, and he never once came back up to check on me. On a different call, an ETOH male patient would not stop hitting on me. He saw that I was very uncomfortable and I motioned to him for help. He walked away without saying a word. This was a very unique experience, as just about every other provider that I’ve worked with had my back (male or female) when situations like this arose.
He accused me of flirting with the fire department instead of paying attention on calls. I don’t even know how to flirt. I just thought it was common courtesy to be friendly & helpful with the people you run calls with. I read the patient’s medications to fire when they asked if I had them which upset my partner as well.
Each time I tried to speak he intentionally raised his voice to talk over me and cut me off. I was not allowed to speak to patients whatsoever. I was to be seen not heard.
A fire crew complained to me about him on a call saying that he wouldn’t even let them finish the assessment they started. I do agree with them fully. Every time they tried to speak he just kept talking very loudly over the top of them.
Issues with a respiratory distress call for a 30/40 year old female: He got upset when he asked me to grab him an end tidal and I handed him a booger. Apparently he wanted the end tidal that connects to CPAP but did not verbalize this. On that same call, he asked fire to give the pt albuterol through the CPAP. The fireman asked for clarification on where the albuterol is supposed to go and he ignored it. The fireman dumped it into straight into the mask instead of the nebulizer and the patient started screaming that they swallowed all of it. He then stated that her lungs were completely full of fluid (to me, fire, and the hospital staff) and had me drive code 3 to the hospital. We got to the hospital and he starts shouting “where’s the bed, where are we taking her?!?” in a frantic tone. He does not wait for a response before we take her into a random room (that they did not agree to) and get her on the bed. Rapid imaging was done on the pt and the doctor said (in front of everyone at the nurses station) that the pt didn’t have any fluid in her lungs & it was an anxiety attack.
He accused me of playing “games” and pulling shenanigans throughout the entirety of our shift. Stonewalled me when I asked him to explain what/why/how I was pulling shenanigans because I was truly unaware of what I was doing that caused him to treat me so horribly. Communication was non-existent

So, my cousin got married in November of 2016. It was breathtaking, my cousin looked beautiful and happy because she was marrying her long-time sweetheart. After a few minor hiccups, with her dress and the weather the ceremony went off without a hitch. The reception started waiting for the newlywed's first dance.
Before I keep going let me put some context. I was a 12-year-old with unmedicated ADHD, and I was VERY hyperactive.
After dinner the DJ started playing music and I was having fun. I was going to the dance floor and dancing to my little heart's desire. What I didn't know was that my dancing was taking the spotlight off my cousin. They had karaoke and I got so excited to be asked to do a song and at this time Frozen was HUGE. The first song that came to my head was "Let It Go". Towards the end of the night, it was time to throw to bouquet and of course.......I wanted to catch it. All the adults thought nothing of it just a child having fun. Well, that child caught the bouquet. My cousin looked at me and I just smiled back because I just caught some pretty flowers. The end of the wedding comes, we are leaving, and a bunch of the other guests come up to me and tell me how I was the star of the wedding for tearing up the dance floor and karaoke. I hugged my cousin and her new husband and waited in the car for my mom. When my mom got in the car, she seemed upset. My cousin said that she didn't want to see me ever again because I stole her wedding from her. My mom tried to explain to her that I had ADHD and that I was possibly on the spectrum. She didn't want to hear any of it. I recently saw her because my uncle (her dad) just turned 60. She saw me and said, "So you still dancing at weddings?".
So AITA for being the "star" at my cousin's wedding?

My son is ten, we live in Dublin. Back in Junior Infants (pre-Covid), his school highlighted that there may be some behavioral stuff to look into and told us to head down the Play Therapy/Educational Assessment route, which we came out of with a diagnosis of "Sensory Processing Disorder".
Years have gone by. We've been very lucky with the teachers we've had since (outside of that Junior Infants one who really did have him pegged as a bad kid), but it's become clear that ADHD is definitely there, possibly ASD, and most likely Dyspraxia (that last one was a fun surprise at the parent teacher meeting but it's one of those things that once the traits are pointed out we could see ALL of them).
I'm currently realising that it seems to be nigh-on impossible to go for both an ADHD and Dyspraxia diagnosis at the same time, so really, fine we'll go both seperately, but trying to find where to get an ADHD diagnosis privately (because I want it done before secondary school and am already kicking myself for waiting this long, and we've been told CAMHS is a sh!tshow) is proving harder than I thought. The ones on the list that the school recommended are all closed waiting lists, we've been told NEPS won't touch him because "he's not that bad", and we don't have him set up properly with a GP in Dublin because the move is relatively recent. I'm trying to judge what are the "real" ones versus the ones that will charge a fortune and still not give a diagnosis that will allow my son to get the supports he may need in the future (I cannot overstate how lucky we are that we have so much support his school is providing without the paperwork, because they're in a very lucky funded position).
I think I'm rambling on here but essentially - I just want to get my son assessed. While I don't particularly WANT to put him on medication, if we are forking out over a grand for the assessment I would really prefer to not have to start from the start all over again privately if he does need that in a few years, I understand that some psychologists do refer to paediatricians and others won't. Also, if theres any psychologists/OTs you can recommend for the dyspraxia, that would be great too!
Any tips/help you can give would be greatly appreciated.

My cat has so many problems, but he’s old 15.5 years. He has hyperthyroidism, bladder crystals and some other unknown problem (possibly IBD). For the most part he has been ok, just losing weight and we can’t figure out why. Yesterday we ended up at the er because he was struggling to pee and just wondering around peeing a tiny bit with blood. I knew he wasn’t blocked. He is on antibiotics to treat the infection (if that is what it is) bladder was also inflamed.
My questions are has anyone experienced utis with older cats, how long does it take the antibiotics to work? He has had one dose. But still trying to pee all the time but now he is back to using the litter box so I guess that’s better. And lastly and I am tearing up as I write this. How much is too much? We have been to the vet so much, he does well for a few months then there is another emergency. I thought I would know when he was ready, but I can’t tell. I don’t want to prolong his suffering and most of the time he is okay. I don’t want to keep him alive for me but I also don’t want to put him down before his time. Hopefully it is just a nasty infection and he will feel better soon. But watching him suffer is so heartbreaking.
Waiting on a call from his regular vet now. Any advice or if you just want to tell me about your experience with older cats that would help. Thank you.
Please don’t tell me to go to the vet, I have been and I don’t have any answers.

Apologies if this gets long-winded. Up until last month I was a journalist covering anime and manga, so I think I just have to get some words out of my system. Also, and obviously: Spoilers for Dress Up Darling to its current chapters, as well as the manga/anime One Week Friends.
I really enjoyed reading the recent posts from everyone on the analysis regarding chapter 100, if it feels like the book has lost its momentum, how the Comiket arc has made everyone feel, and so on. As someone that came to SBD/DUD via the anime but has dove into the manga heavy during the lull, it's refreshing to see a community taking an introspective look at the story, its arc, and the tug-of-war that seems to go on in regards to romance story versus cosplay tale.
But I also think that, by and large, falling into and caring too much about the "Will They/Won't They" of the story is a trap, and one that, if obsessed over for too long, inevitably leads to feeling let down by the time this story hits its conclusion.
On that note, let's talk about One Week Friends.
Initially released in 2012, Isshūkan Friends shares a lot of DNA with Dress-Up Darling. Both Square Enix joints, the two feature a very similar two-character lead romance dynamic. OWF is the story of Hase, a nervous high school boy who has a massive crush on his seemingly-ice queen class mate, Kaori. Taking a chance one day, he declares to her that he wants to be friends. However, she rejects him almost immediately. He comes to find that it wasn't because she doesn't want friends, but that she suffers from a condition that causes her memories to reset after a week. So, as a protective measure for herself, she just lives a life of stagnation--never making friends, never changing anything. At least until Hase comes around.
The story from there is familiar to Dress-Up Darling, in that a lot of the romantic tension comes from the perspectives of our two leads, as well as the "when are they going to get together?" of it all. In this case, the two sources of tension are as follows:
Kaori: Is entering into a friendship or having romantic feelings in her state fair to the other person? How does it affect her personally to have those feelings but only remember them through a journal--though her memory does begin to improve slightly over time. Is she worthy or friendship or love?
Hase: At a point, he places Kaori on a bit of a pedestal because he's been the only one to reach out to and make progress with this friendless girl. However, as their friend group grows and she becomes a more normal and stable person, he begins to resent not only losing this feeling of specialness, but the fact that he's feeling that way at all--no longer feeling like he's worthy of being there for her.
The parallels to Dress-Up Darling and the most recent stretch of the manga are apparent, as heartbreaking as its been to watching Marin and Gojo fumble in the metaphorical dark in that way that teen romance does so well. For Marin, she's in love with a boy that, at times feels distant, or that his main focus is the work. She's hesitated to confess her feelings time and again, both for the sake of comedy but also just because she's a teenager, and that kind of thing is hard for anyone to confess. She keeps hoping to create situations--some magical moment--where things fall into place and they both confess their true feelings, but circumstances and fate have kind of interfered to that point. However, she knows he's the only person in her life that's ever saw her for who she really is, and that's something she probably feels disconnected from as she approaches the precipice of cosplay stardom and feels more disconnected from Gojo than ever.
Meanwhile, Gojo has a similar issue to Hase in One Week Friends: He's placed this girl on a pedestal. A perfect doll that he isn't worthy of. So, he did the only thing he could ever do: Focus on the work and trying to show he cares through supporting her. However, he's hit the end road of that path, with 'Princess' now seen by the work at Comiket and feeling like, to him, that Marin has outgrown him. He feels unworthy of telling her how he feels.
And yes, both of them are idiots, but that's why we love stories like this in manga and anime.
In the case of One Week Friends, I always felt like that story somewhat fumbled the ball. The anime and the first run of the manga end on a very saccharine, melodramatic note. The two leads have a falling out, but then a memorable reunion on new year's day where they both somewhat confess their feelings. A lot of fans felt left out in the cold that the series didn't end in a full-blown confirmation of love--or even a kiss, but thems the breaks sometimes.
In the case of Dress-Up Darling, I think the takeaway to learn from is that the big, apex moment for this story is inevitably going to be the confession of love. It's what drew the most people into the story and thing that everyone on this sub is obviously waiting for. However, we really don't know if that's the way the mangaka views it, nor if that's the focus.
As insane as that feels to say. After all, what are we doing here if not waiting for Marin and Gojo to figure things out, stop being dumb, and just say how they feel?
Whether or not Dress-Up Darling nails the landing is going to completely depend on that moment. However, I remain optimistic. In a perfect world, I'd want the story to end with that confession finally happening: Marin realizing she needs to go after the things she wants and that the thing that kept her going all this time wasn't the finished product of the cosplay, but the memories made along the way. For Gojo, he needs to stop treating Marin like another hina doll--something to be placed up on a shelf and put behind a glass case, un approachable and only deserving of love from afar. He has to take agency in his own life and needs.
Personally, I could think of nothing better than this series ending with that confession happening and the last chapter detailing how Marin wants to do a cosplay of a traditional Hina Doll, making Gojo think its for an upcoming event. They work together as normal on it, the process and journey being the important part--with the final scene being them getting her ready in his room as always, with Gojo finally asking what the event is for. She responds, fully dressed as that thing Gojo has so admired for the longest time, that the event is just for him, and it always will be. Cut to that big two-page spread shot smile of her, but this time in Hina Doll garb.
Anyways, I'm going back to work.

Recently Gates of Hell released the American faction and did a full overhaul of the German faction, leading to a pair of interesting factions with an incredible variety of historically authentic uniforms. You could zoom in on any of the squads and see the diverse uniforms depicted right down to the insignia on their caps and the regiments on their patches. Shermanator’s interview of Chase/Trudel (the lead animator & 3D human artist) gave me faith in the developer’s passion for the history and the game. This made me quite excited, because we have yet to see a British Commonwealth faction but there is some heavy implication that we can expect one in the future.
I wanted to make this thread, because I wanted to express my desire to see elements in the game that would make the Commonwealth faction a wealth of interesting units, uniforms and nationalities, particularly via the doctrines system that exists within the game. The intention is to throw in representatives across all the major nations of the British Commonwealth as well as some of the Allied armies-in-exile that came under British command. I also want to highlight some of the vehicles that are rarely mentioned in other games due to their obscure theatre or role. For the record, I'm not telling the devs what to do - I'm just making some example doctrines that I came up with as an example of the variety of units I'd love to see and making their inclusion plausible. Mostly to get the community talking.
I won’t talk about early war, partially because ‘Early war’ in Gates of Hell is largely post-Dunkirk, but also because I feel like what I am asking is still quite a lot just for one faction across two eras. I also I won’t be mentioning the more obvious or general units like Stuarts, Crusaders, Cromwells, Grants etc, as I expect them to be added nonetheless. It’s the vaguer aspects of the Commonwealth I wanted to talk about; the weird, wonderful and the diverse.
Mid War Doctrines
I think the mid-war should be largely inspired by the North African Campaigns, centred largely on the 8th Army and utilising the huge variety of cultures that fought within it. Extra bits can be added from the Italian campaign where the faction is lacking, and the Italian campaign can also be represented in the ‘Temperate’ skin for the mid-war faction. There are a lot of inspirations one can draw to create a variety of options for the Commonwealth player and each doctrine should draw from their unique aspects.
All-Round: Inspired by the Desert Rats, the 2nd Battle of El Alamein and Operation Crusader this one balances the various aspects of the other doctrines while keeping it unique. I’d like to see the Infantry include British Desert Rats Infantry, 2nd New Zealand Infantry, & 1st South African Infantry. I’d also like to see South African Marmon-Herrington Armoured Cars (multiple variants) as an early-battle option, plenty of the more common tanks and maybe the Bishop as a slow but mobile artillery piece. As a special call-in, we could probably include the Free French Legionaries as a powerful assault unit, just to really complete the variety in this division.
Defensive: Inspired by the Siege of Tobruk, this doctrine should primarily represent the Australians. Variations of the Australian 9th Division troops as infantry alongside minor British elements with a heavy emphasis on field engineers, emplacements and field guns. Defensive doctrine could also include RAF Regiment infantry, RAF 20mm Oerlikon guns, RAF Rolls Royces, India Pattern Carriers (from the Indian 18th Division), air strikes and, as a special unit, they could even have captured Italian tanks from the 6th Australian Division Cavalry Regiment! As a defensive doctrine, they should also have access to the best mid-war field guns, including the rare (but historical) ’Pheasant’ 17/25 Pounder Field Gun.
Offensive: Inspired by the Battle of Tunisia and Operation Torch, I think this one should show off the might of the UK’s heavier vehicles in the latter stages of the African campaign, particularly the Churchill III, Sherman III, the Priest 105mm and the Stuart Command Tank, alongside the more standard British tank options. As for infantry options, we can include Indian troops of the 4th Infantry Division (India), Gurkhas, and a motorised unit of 22nd Guards Infantry. I would also add the British Commandos in this division - partly because they were involved in Operation Torch, but also because they had an iconic impact on the mid-war (outside of Africa) that it would be a pity not to add them.
Irregular: This one would be quite unique in mid-war as it is effectively the light vehicle special forces doctrine. Although some standard British units would form the basis of the army, they would have access to a variety of assets representing the Long Range Desert Group; Chevrolet trucks with mounted Vickers MGs, Boys AT rifles, twin 303 Brownings or even Bofors and captured 20mm Breda guns! ‘Bamtam’ jeeps with twin Vickers Ks or 303 Brownings. The transport and logistics would be different too, using the Marmon-Herrington 6-ton Heavy Truck or the White 1064 10-ton. Other unique special call-ins would include an LRDG WACO Recon plane and the SAS (armed with the Lewes bomb). The downside to this doctrine, however, is that imagine it to be much lighter on armoured support, relying mostly on towed guns for its heavy firepower.
Other Units: I’ve tried to use inspirations from specific parts of the war to get a rounded but also diverse array of units, but there are loads of obscure units across the mid-war that I’d love to see; the Priest 105mm SPG, the AEC Deacon Gun Carrier, the Daimler Dingo, the Humber Light Reconnaissance, and so on.
That is as much as I want to say on mid-war without labouring the point. I’m sure there’s interesting things I’ve missed accidentally, and I’m afraid there’s some I have missed on purpose. For example, I considered the Australian Matilda Hedgehog, but it turned out to be late war and never used. I also considered the Greek and the Czech Division, but I think I’ve already stretched it too far as regards voice acting alone without adding units that, as distinguished their service might be, are just too obscure without adding anything extra - appearance or gameplay. That said, my hat would go off to the devs if they achieved that.
Late War Doctrines
Here we get to represent the Commonwealth units from Operation Overlord up until Operation Varsity.
All-Round: The quintessential British doctrine, combining bog-standard infantry with hardy tanks and a decent array of equipment. Partially based on Gold Beach, but also Operation Varsity/Plunder towards the end of the war, I would personally give them 50th (Northumbrian) Infantry, RAF Regiment Gunners, RAF Humber Light AC, Churchill AVRE, the Cruiser Mk. VIII Challenger and the Comet. Maybe give them some 6th Airlanding troops and 1st Canadian Parachute Infantry as a reference to the Normandy paratroopers if we feel they need more skilled infantry.
Offensive: The Canadian Doctrine - mostly inspired by the First Canadian Army in Normandy with elements of their experiences later on (including the Battle of the Schelt and Operation Veritable) with the doctrine largely focused on armoured assault infantry. They’ll look quite unique compared to the British because their uniforms were greener and they were the first to use the British-designed Mk.III helmet at D-Day. Troops of the 3rd Canadian Infantry Division as standard, supported by assault infantry. Eventually, armoured infantry can spawn in Buffalos (used at the Battle of the Schelt) and, as a special call-in, Ram Kangaroo APCs (sporting an armoured MG turret). The Otter armoured car would be an early call-in, with M4A1 Sherman Grizzly tanks as well as Ram IIs available in the standard tank tab. Some unique but limited special call-ins would include the Skink AA tank (of which 2 saw historical combat in Normandy) as well as a skilled sniper wielding the Ross rifle.
Defensive: Just as the US Defensive doctrine features the 101st Airborne (no doubt inspired by the Battle of Bastogne), the British Defensive doctrine can feature the British Airborne - particularly based on the defense of Arnhem Bridge in the Netherlands as part of Market Garden. Infantry units can include the 52nd (Lowland) Infantry, 1st Airborne Paratroopers, 1st Airlanding Infantry, Parachute Squadron Royal Engineers and 1st (Polish) Independent Paratroopers (who are distinctive with their grey berets). Armoured units can include the Tetrarch and the M22 Locust. To suit their defensive doctrine, they should get some decent guns and I’m thinking the airborne jeep-towed 20mm Polsten Gun, airborne 17th Pounder as well as (in a departure from the Parachute theme) the BL 7.2-inch howitzer. The Patchett sub-machine gun could make an appearance here too.
Irregular: Based on Sword Beach, Commandos and the 79th Armoured Division, with the more unusual units in the British arsenal. Probably with 3rd Infantry Division Infantry as standard, this unit could have access to No.41 (Royal Marine) Commandos, Fusilier Marines Commandos (based on No.4 Commando’s assault on Ouestreham), the Centaur Mk.IV QF 95mm, the Sherman DD, the Churchill Crocodile and Royal Engineer Assault Teams deployed in the cute Terrapin 4-ton Amphibious. If we want to be really wacky, we could even add the M3 Grant CDL (an unarmed searchlight tank) for armoured spotting, similar to the 150cm Flakscheinwerfer searchlight.
Other Units: Further unique units that would fit in any one (or multiple) of these divisions (based on balance) include the Land Mattress Rocket Launcher, the Loyd Carrier, the Universal Carrier WASP (flamethrower), the Sexton SPG, Sherman Firefly, the Archer TD, Achilles TD, the Priest Kangaroo, the Morris C8, Staghound and so on. There are SO many strange and obscure British vehicles that don’t often see the light of day, but would be perfect for Gates of Hell.
Post-release Doctrines -
More of a final thought than anything else, but if/when the Japanese get added into the game, I’d love to see a fifth doctrine to represent the British 14th Army to match the Japanese. A doctrine that is mostly comprised of Indian infantry and Indian tanks, with representation from the East/West African Divisions, Gurkhas and the British 2nd or 36th Infantry Divisions. Special call-ins could include the Chindits (using Thompsons and the Jungle Carbine) and paratroopers of the 50th Indian Parachute Brigade. If we’re feeling generous enough to allow the doctrine to encompass the Pacific Islands as well, we could also include an Australian squad armed with the Owen SMG, South Pacific Scouts, the Matida Frog (flamethrower) and the Matilda QF 3-Inch.
Conclusion: I apologise for such a long read. But I hope we see how a bit of ambition could really help the Commonwealth stand out and be worthy of the variety seen in the other factions since their overhaul. While the Germans have Spanish soldiers in their ranks, the Commonwealth can see the UK, Canada, India, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Poland, and France (and technically Nepal) all get some recognition. While the German Kriegsmarine and Luftwaffe stand out on the field, the Commonwealth might get the distinctive blue battledress of the RAF Regiment, or the long white tunics of the Foreign Legion. We would see such a variety of hats including pith helmets, berets, kepis, dastars, keffiyehs and slouch hats. Some units, like the LRDG vehicles, might even stand out as unique from any of the nations already in the game. It’s a lot of colourful uniforms, a lot of voices and a lot of strange and wonderful machines.
However, it does come with its downsides. Firstly, Africa and Europe are such dramatically different theatres that their version of mid & late war are incredibly different to one another. So much so that the depth of variety might make the faction too big, making it a lot of effort for the art department (especially with uniforms changing for the map’s climate. Imagine making skins for temperate, desert AND snow). The second issue is whether France is getting its own faction in future iterations of the game (the French flag appears in the loading screen during Axis vs Allies games). The final (and probably biggest) issue is voice acting. I’m no expert on games development, but I gather that getting enough voice actors for a faction is hard enough as it is without having to accurately represent 9 countries at once. I would love to hear the developer’s thoughts on the matter - whether such a project is within the game’s scope and if they have the ambition to take it this far.
Do let me all know what you think as well.

This is an old story some of my friends told me (29F) I should share here.. so here I am. Sorry for the long text, but there's a lot to unfold.
This started a few years ago, after I got ghosted by my ex, I decided to switch careers and took the proposal of my brother to work for one of his friend in an organic grocery store in my area. I was 22ish at the time, maybe 21 turning 22, but anyways.
I started working in the fruits and vegetables aisle. Despite having a crazy director, I liked my job and my department manager. After a few months, I got the title of "third key" which is basically I'm the assistant manager when the assistant is gone. Then, they decided to hire a new customer service manager that I will call Linda. That woman was CRAZY. While I was 23 at the time, she was only 20 acting like she owned the world.
To give you an idea, in the span of 8 months being here, she got 11 employees fired for stupid reasons and since our director at the time was just as crazy... it was easier for her to get her way. Also, when I say stupid reasons, I'll give you a few examples: Benji got fired because he was "talking too loud" in the break room and it was disturbing her peace and supposedly making her harder to rest to come back fully ready to finish her shift. Marie got fired because she HAD to take off work to go to a relative's funeral and couldn't give her 2 weeks notice. Rose got fired because she was getting "too old to do her job properly and it was ruining the pace of the team's work" (which is bs, I've never seen someone cut veggies and fruits as fast as her). And I could go on. Yes, some of them could've been able to be protested against and even file a complaint against her. Mind you, outside of Rose, everybody was too young to just wanting to fight for a grocery store job. Even Rose just decided to take her retirement earlier and fucked off the work world lol.
Anyways, she took it too far when she tried to mess with me. To give you the context, we had a huge special on lemons and sometimes, those fruits can get rotten and you don't notice it because there's no smell. The only way you'd know is by going through the several small boxes of like 10ish lemons and look at them all one by one. Which I did regularly, but hey, I'm not a robot, sometimes some of them slipped out of my eyes. I was leaving the backstore with more boxes when I saw Linda with a customer that seemed more than pissed. So I go see both of them because mind you.. she has a LEMON box and I work in the fruits department. So it's kind of my job to help IF I CAN. That's when I asked her "Hey Linda, do you need help with the lemons?" And right away she told me "Fuck off, I don't need your help, I already spoke to your manager. Go do your job for once." My face was literally like this 😳 as I went to my department. Even the pissed customer did a bombastic side eyes.
A few minutes later, I go back to the backstore to fulfill the missing products and my manager pulls me aside. "Hey OP, stay out of Linda's business. I can't protect you all the time for talking back." I stopped him right away asking what does he means cause as soon as she told me to fuck off, I did fuck off. He looked at me surprised and said he'd come back to me with it, but only tomorrow because he's finishing his shift and for some personal reason, he can't stay longer to solve the issue. Since Linda was the manager on guard that night, he told me to stay in the back as much as possible to stay in her good graces. That's what I did.
One hour after my manager left, I heard my name being called in the front office (shared by the customer service manager and director). Big wtf. I go in the front and all of my colleagues are looking at me like I'm a prisoner going to their death sentence. Mind you, I know my laws and my rights. I might be young, but as soon as I got called, I started reciting in my head the main laws and rights she has to respect. I open the door's office and Linda is FUMING. And she is alone. She asks me to close the door and I tell her "No, it is my right to have someone in the room with us for this talk. I am not comfortable being alone with you." She starts freaking out and starts to speak louder, on the verge of screaming. "Linda. This room is recorded 24/7 and the customers can hear you talking to me like that. Lower your tone and find a witness to be in the room or I'll go back to work." She stands up to look outside the office and sees that indeed, there's a line in front of the cash looking to the office's direction. She takes a few deep breaths and calls Gabrielle who takes care of the finances of the store so she can be a witness. From the moment Gab got into the room, she seemed like she wanted to get away, so do I.
Gab took a seat in the back and Linda starts her whole speech. I'll be paraphrasing cause the meeting took almost an hour.
L: You know why I brought you here, right? OP: Not really, I've been in the backstore minding my business. Why? L: Well you disrespected my authority in front of a customer and that's a big no no for the company. OP: For the company or for you? L: OP, this is not the topic. You shouldn't be disrespecting authority in front of customers. It makes the managers look bad. OP: I was honestly just trying to help because you had a box of products from my department. I just wanted to help because the customer looked pissed and I didn't want him to ruin your fragile mood. L: My fragile mood?! Are you fucking serious?! OP: Linda, we are being recorded and we have a witness. I'm asking you to stay polite and not scream or I will file a complaint against you. L: Are threatening me??? OP: No, I am stating my rights and making you aware of where your attitude will lead you. I won't accept being talked like that by someone that ain't even my manager. L: Okay OP, let me remind you where your position stands in this business.
That bitch started to draw a triangle, put her name at the tippidy top and mine at the bottom. I didn't even let her finish what she had to say, I stormed off the office, went into the employees lockers, took my stuff and headed out. Linda ran after me, yelling like a psycho "YOU CAN'T LEAVE LIKE THAT! YOU'RE STILL SCHEDULED FOR THE CLOSE!" I stopped on my steps, making Linda almost run into me and said with the most blank expression I could have "Linda, you crossed a line and since you're so good at your job, close my department for me. I will be filing a complaint against you." And left the work place.
Next morning, I came to work as usual and had to see my manager and the director. I explained them the whole situation and showed the papers I was about to send to file a complaint against Linda. Also, this dumb bitch didn't even throw her pyramid in the trash. It was still on display when the director came in to work and asked me what it was. I asked her to look at the cameras, put the sound on and listen to the whole meeting. We watched it to my director's horror and who came in to work in the middle of our screening time? Linda! She came into the office and Linda being a poc turned white as a ghost. I've never seen her being so so pale. "W-what are you doing?" The director asked Linda to sit down and we watched again the video. Mind you, it took us one full hour to watch because she was in a never ending power trip. She used to be smart when she was bullying and making stories about past employees, doing it far from the cameras and usually using the other office that doesn't have cameras or a microphone, but she wasn't with me. I guess she got comfortable or whatever, but check mate on her ass.
My director said I could go back to work with my manager, that she would take care of the rest. Two weeks later, Linda still had her job, but our director resigned from her job right away. Which was hella weird, but whatever. We got a new director, she was a total sweet heart and she noticed Linda's crazy power trips right away. She decided to launch an intern investigation, but sadly, all the employees Linda bullied were fired. There was only me and my little complaint waiting to be served. When Nancy, our new director, came to me asking if I knew anything about Linda. I gave her the file, the time stamps of the video tape, all the employees she fired for stupid reasons with the old director and also phone numbers of those employees.
Flash forward 2 weeks later, Linda left work earlier, balling her eyes out yelling how Nancy was a bitch and didn't deserve her job. How she always came in earlier, put in the work and yadi yada. Nancy waited a few more days before asking me to come into the office and again, I'll be paraphrasing because a lot have been said.
N: HI OP, don't worry, you're not in any trouble. I just saw your CV and noticed you've had a lot of experience in customer service. OP: Yes, I used to be a cashier for almost 5 years, it was my first job. Why? N: I've seen your file, your CV and how you managed the conversation with Linda. We are actually looking for a new customer service manager since Linda have been let go. OP: What about my actual position? N: It's easier to find a fruits and vegetables commis than it is to find a competent service manager.. as you experienced.
I ended up accepting the position and all my co-workers cheered for my raise. I don't want to brag, but I've always been the one to defend everybody in the place, making sure I'll keep my job in the process and following the laws and rights. A few months later, Linda came back to the store as a customer and the look she had on her face when she saw me at the cash with the manager uniform was priceless. It was even more priceless when she asked me when I got the promotion and I told her the exact date, which matched her departure. "So you got my position when I left?" I just nodded and asked if I could do anything more to help have a better experience in the store. She didn't answer to that and just left after paying her things.
To this day, it's still one of my favorite moments to have been through. I'm not a petty person, but if I can ruin you in the process of me trying to defend my people, I'll be more than happy to do so. Last I've heard of Linda, she was working for the competitor, but never had any promotions.

I submitted a claim to https://minnesota.findyourunclaimedproperty.com/ way back in January. They asked for identifying documents and a notarized form, which I sent out. It's been well over 90 days and my claim status is still at "documents received, pending".
I've talked to them several times over the past several months, which included going to their office in person to pick up documentation that I had mailed them. I contacted them again after 90 days to ask if I was anywhere near getting my claim processed, and their reply was just that it was still pending. Their responses before that was "we'll get to it in 90 days".
Everyone I have talked to that has gone through this process has gotten their money within a month. However, I'm owed several grand and those people only received a couple hundred.
Has anyone else had a long wait time to get their money from the MN Department of Commerce? How long did it take and did you run into any issues? Do I have any other options besides just waiting?
And pro-tip for anyone out there that does file a claim... The website says you can mail in your identifying documentation. What they don't tell you is that they don't mail it back, they keep it. Because I have a divorce and a name change in my past, I thought it'd be best to send in official documentation, as that's what I did with Social Security (SS was very picky about documentation went I went through that process). After waiting a couple months and not getting my documents, I contacted them and they said "oh, we keep the documents, but you can pick them up if you want them." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Eivor is a bit of a strange protagonist.
She’s basically flawless and without blame. She’s brash and bold, proud and unashamed — brave and wise far beyond her years, yet able to be soft and compassionate when not brandishing spears. She’s got a knack for leadership, a strong moral compass and an even stronger muscular system with which to enact justice.
And she’s got bars?
As someone not deeply versed in medieval European histories, imagine my shock and confusion upon discovering that Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla included rap battling.
My first experience with Flyting had me asking so many questions about what I just witnessed that I couldn’t wait to begin Googling. I figured flyting probably was historically accurate, but if that’s the case, then what else can it tells us about the medieval warrior and about Eivor’s characterization?
I set off to find out.
--
Wikipedia and howstuffworks combined gave me a robust definition of flyting.
A ritual, poetic exchange of insults practiced mainly between the 5th and 16th centuries. Examples of flyting are found throughout Scots, Ancient, Medieval and Modern Celtic, Old English, Middle English and Norse literature involving both historical and mythological figures. The exchanges would become extremely provocative, often involving accusations of cowardice or sexual perversion.
The idea behind flyting was to influence public opinion of the participants and raise both of their profiles. And each participant wanted to make himself look better than the other, even if they were friendly.
Not only that, but flyting’s also the first recorded use of shit as an insult. That right there is worth this whole essay and then some.
--
I came away from those definitions with some small Euphoria, as they reinforce what I already expected from Ubisoft — historically accurate and (arguably) immersive side activities grounded in realism.
Unfortunately, none of the flyting foes that Eivor faces in this fantasy are founded in any real-world flyters. I was particularly frustrated when I realized Fergal the Faceless and Borghild the Alewife’s Bane were fictional features, not real historical fiends of rhythm and rhyme.
Two of Eivor’s syntax competitors are “real” in some sense, however.
In Norse mythos, Odin, Thor, Loki, Freyja and more would handle their Family Matters over a flyte from time to time, dueling wits and words as competition and entertainment.
In fact, one flyte we do see in game — Odin as he flytes over the river with Thor in the Asgard Arc — is likely a reference to a real medieval Norse poem; The Hárbarðsljóð.
In it, Thor jaunts back to Asgard after a journey in Jötunheim. He comes to a junction in which he must jump a large river, and thus hunts down a ferryman to shepherd him across. The ferryman, Hárbarðr, is Odin in disguise. He then begins to diss guys.
Ahem. ‘Guys’ being Thor, obviously.
First, Odin drops a yo-mama joke:

Of thy morning feats art thou proud, but the future thou knowest not wholly; Doleful thine home-coming is: thy mother, me thinks, is dead.

He keeps going, taking more shots than a First Person Shooter, this time saying Thor dresses like a girl:

Three good dwellings methinks, thou hast not; Barefoot thou standest and wearest a beggar’s dress; Not even hose dost thou have.

Thor says watch your mouth before I clap back:

Ill for thee comes thy keenness of tongue, if the water I choose to wade; Louder, I ween, than a wolf thou cryest, if a blow of my hammer thou hast.

Odin replies by saying Thor’s wife is fucking another dude:

Sif has a lover at home, and him shouldst thou meet; More fitting it were on him to put forth thy strength.

The version we play out in game isn’t identical to the real-world poem, but carries some similarities; Thor’s threatening to cross the river to fight Odin as well as his boasting of slaying giants are present in each.
Ratatosk is the only other ‘real’ flyting enemy in Valhalla. While Odin doesn’t flyte with Ratatosk in Norse myth to my knowledge, the flyting against the squirrel is thematically accurate, at least.
Ratatosk’s purpose is to scramble up and down Yggdrasil, scurrying spoken messages from the eagle that sits at its peaks to the snake that slithers at its base. The nature of Ratatosk’s messages is in line with the act of flyting — the mischievous rodent carries falsehoods and aggressive statements to stir up drama and distrust between bird and serpent.
Flyting took place not only in poems and folklore, but in town squares and royal court. It was a facet of medieval life and social interaction. This weaving of prose then, in this time period, seemingly was just about as much of an admired skill as the swinging of a sword. It’s no wonder our unbreakable warrior Eivor is so proficient with word.
--
Like, really proficient with word.
I mean, I know it’s me choosing the dialogue options, but sheesh, is there anything she can’t do?
Actually, Eivor’s expertise in flyting is strange to me. It feels random and unearned — out of character, even. It comes more unexpectedly than Kendrick Lamar’s Not Like Us.
It probably only feels out of character, however, due to our modern understanding of proficiency with words versus proficiency with might. Our current interpretation of verbal ability compared to physical ability would perceive verbal ability as the ‘softer’ of the two skillsets. Physical strength is typically interpreted as tough and more dominant. You don’t expect to see an MMA fighter composing poetry, do you? The qualities that modern thought attributes to writing and physicality don’t mesh.
But in reality — and historically accurately in Valhalla — medieval warriors weren’t just blind berserkers. They were actually artists, poets and writers.
We’ve already demonstrated how Odin and Thor — Norse myth’s most famous warriors — carried out flyting. Thus, medieval Vikings would’ve surely done the same. Beyond Vikings though, the Illiad contains instances of public, ritualized abuse. Taunting songs are present in Inuit culture while Arabic poetry contains a form of flyting called naqa’id. Further, Japanese Samurai were known to be frequent composers of haiku, while Japanese culture also gave birth to Haikai, poetry in which vulgar satire and puns were wielded.
This historical accuracy ends up eliminating the randomness of Eivor’s flyting ability. Despite her verbal finesse feeling unearned, we can surmise historically that Eivor has practiced the wielding of words plenty in her life before we take over as the player. She’s dedicated time to this.
Now that we know why she has it, we can take a closer look at what it does for her.
--
So, Eivor can rap. She can match you with her axe or she can match you with her words. She’s just about unbeatable.
Her mastery of words demonstrates on some level that she’s not all Push Ups and might is right. She’s not all bruiser and bluster, burn and berserk. She’s an appreciator of the finer things — the more abstract, mental skills that require brain power, deftness and finesse.
This duality of strength and genius rounds out Eivor into a deeper, richer, more admirable character. More than just raw muscle in pursuit of glory, Eivor’s mastery of verse demonstrates her prioritizing not just her body, but her mind.
And it goes a long way for her.
Eivor can use her prowess with prose to progress past pointless plot points throughout Valhalla’s plethora of arcs and missions. It’s just a stat check in the end, but with enough practice flyting and enough charisma gained, Eivor unlocks new dialogue options that bend the world around her to her will.
Witch hunters in Eurvicscire on the brink of terrorizing Moira can be dispersed verbally rather than brawled or killed. There’s an entire riddle-solving fetch quest in Wincestre that can be skipped completely by telling King Aelfred’s abbot fuck off (figuratively). Eivor’s sharpening of her mind protects her body, saves her time, and allows her to frictionlessly fell her endeavors.
Her articulate advances don’t just alter her into admirability, they allow her to influence people and progression. With semantics from her mouth and twists from her tongue, Eivor can have her way whenever she wishes. In a game this large, I’m only left longing that the opportunity to make use of this charisma wasn’t relegated to niches.
Regardless, if medieval England is butter, Eivor’s tongue is the hot knife that behooves her move through her subduing more smoothly.
It all just goes to show that ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ flyte is right.

Hello! I wanted to share my analysis on how Cloud & Aerith represent the Ancient Greek legend of Orpheus & Eurydice, one of the most well known tragic love stories. There have been many different variations of this story from Hadestown to Moulin Rouge. I will reference the broadway show Hadestown a lot, because I’m a huge fan of the show and it represents Orpheus & Eurydice’s story very well. With this analysis, I’m going in with the belief that Hollow and No Promises to Keep are Cloud and Aerith’s songs that are about each other, who those songs are about is a whole different argument, but to ME, it’s obvious who they’re about and I’m using them to push this analysis further.
In the Greek legend, Orpheus & Eurydice fell in love, and one day Eurydice died from the bite of a viper. Orpheus was so ruined by grief that he traveled to the underworld itself to find Eurydice and bring her back. Orpheus sang about his love for Eurydice to Hades and Persephone, who were so moved by it that Hades gave him the opportunity to bring Eurydice out of the underworld, he just has to take the long walk out of the underworld with Eurydice behind him, and he cannot look back at her the entire walk until they are out of the underworld, or else she will be sent back down. Towards the end of their walk, Orpheus is worried that Hades had tricked him because he could not hear Eurydice behind him. He loves her so much that he is driven mad by the fear and doubt that enter his mind. So much so that he ends up looking back at her, and she is sent back to the underworld.
Now for the comparison to Cloud and Aerith. Obviously, we see their relationship become a precious and cherished thing, until Aerith is suddenly killed.
Now Cloud is not a singer or a poet, but he does have a song in the Remake. This song is heavily theorized to be about Aerith, and makes the most sense to be about her. It describes how lost and hollow he feels without her, which is so unbelievably Orpheus of him. In the lines;
“Bloody and bruised Brought to my knees When beaten down When broken up You would appear, Reach out to me, Heal every wound, And make me whole”
It makes me think of a scene in Hadestown, where Orpheus gets beaten up while in the underworld trying to get Eurydice back. Persephone is inspired by Orpheus’ determination to get Eurydice back, she keeps him going even when he’s beaten down.
Throughout Hollow, he says a lot of words like “Guide me to you” “I’ll never let you go”. He still wants to find her somehow after feeling so empty from her death. Again, very Orpheus.
Let’s look at the lyrics for Wait for me that Orpheus sings in Hadestown;
“Wait for me, I’m coming Wait, I’m coming with you Wait for me, I’m coming too I’m coming too”
Before Aerith even dies, she is kidnapped by Shinra, and Cloud makes it his personal mission to go get her back. After she is kidnapped in Remake, he has a vision of her, where he tells her, “I’m coming for you” In Rebirth, after she “dies” he tells her “I’ve got this” in English, but in the Japanese version, guess what he really says?
“Wait for me”
There’s also the Loveless play in Rebirth, where Cloud and Aerith play Alphreid and Rosa, whose story is very reminiscent of their real story. (I’m aware of how Rosa’s part can also be played by Tifa and Yuffie, but the story of this play fits Cloud and Aerith the most, as well as Rosa’s character fits Aerith the most. I could go into more evidence as to why the whole gold saucer section and Loveless play is very Aerith-leaning even while its player-choice but that is besides the point)
There is a line that Alphreid tells Rosa;
“You needn’t promise that you’ll wait. For I know that I will find you here”
Key words: Wait and Find
In Hadestown, Eurydice sings a song called Flowers. And guess who in FF7 is a flower girl? Aerith. The song ups about how Eurydice regrets becoming a worker for Hades (in this version she is very poor and hungry, and Hades convinced her to sell her soul for the safety of it all) but she misses the world above and remembers Orpheus and her happiness with him in the fields of flowers. Aside from the obvious flower connection, this almost makes me think of how while Aerith had a responsibility in dying and saving the world, she may have regrets since all she wants is to be happy with Cloud (we see her wishes on her dream date with him, spending time with him is how she wishes her life would be without the burden) and in the Advent Children script, when Cloud rides his motorcycle by a field of flowers where her ghost is standing and watching over him, it describes her feeling lonely.
Another thing to note, in Hadestown, a flower is used a symbol for the whole show. Most notably for this analysis, Orpheus uses it as a reminder of her as he travels to the underworld and tries to give it back when they REUNITE. And guess what happens when Cloud and Aerith meet? She gives him a flower that represent REUNION of lovers.
In Aerith’s song, No Promises to Keep, Aerith describes this burden while also saying lines like,
“Till the day that we meet again Where or when? I wish I could say But believe know that you'll find me“
Also:
“Take my hand And believe We can be Together evermore”
And don’t forget:
“Still I hope someday you'll come and find me“
This just screams Eurydice waiting for Orpheus in the underworld, knowing he’ll come find her. Shes saying, come and find me, while he’s saying, guide me to you. Pair that with how Cloud keeps saying Orpheus lines like “Wait for me” and “I’m coming for you”
In the original FF7, Cloud gets a glimpse of Aerith after the final battle, and that’s when he says:
“the Promised Land... I think I can meet her...there.”
Now we don’t have a clear answer as to what exactly the Promised Land is. Since Aerith is dead at this point when Cloud says this, it makes you wonder if it’s related to where you go when you die, or maybe just where Aerith goes since she is a Cetra. Regardless, she is still dead and Cloud still wants to find her, much like Orpheus when Eurydice dies.
In the Advent Children film that takes place two years after Aerith dies, Cloud himself is dying from geostigma, and sadly enough, is pushing away his friends, accepting death rather than fighting it, seemingly searching for Aerith amongst it all with how he sleeps in her church. Orpheus was known to have never been the same after Eurydice died, completely swallowed up with grief until he had the idea to see her again in the underworld.
Another interesting detail in AC, when he has visions of her, Cloud cannot look at Aerith because of his guilt until the very end where he decides to keep living on.
In the FF7 Remake, it takes a little different approach than the original FF7 did. There are multiversal aspects that have made people question if Aerith’s fate is final this time. Since we don’t know how Part 3 of the trilogy will play out, some of this is theorizing. But what I believe is that there was a new timeline where Cloud saved Aerith, it’s not the current timeline that Cloud and the rest of the party are in, but Cloud knows of this other timeline where Aerith is alive because he is the only one that can see into that timeline.
No Promises to Keep plays when they part at the very end of the game, the same song that talks about how she wants him to come and find her, just like he did when she was kidnapped by Shinra. This makes me wonder if maybe he will try to cross between different worlds (much like Orpheus with the underworld) to try and get her back. If this will be successful or not, we will see, he is Orpheus after all.
I am one that does not mind either way if Aerith lives or dies by the end of this new trilogy. Simply because the tragedy of their romance was already great, it would be emphasized even more with this hope that maybe we can get her back. Getting that hope then getting the same result is very reminiscent of Orpheus and Eurydice. But I will say I am hopeful that Cloud can defy fate and get his Eurydice back, I would love to see them happy together by the end.
And that is the end of my analysis, Cloud and Aerith’s romance were always my favorite not just because of their great dynamic but their story represents a beautiful ancient Greek Tragedy that shows how much a man can love a woman.

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

hi all! I (23F) have been seeing this guy (26M) for around a month. we met on Hinge and things seem to be going really well, ever since the first date he continued to tell me we "have strong potential" to be in a relationship. he's in the military though and lives an hour away, so we've only seen each other once or twice a week since this started.
last night i was at his and he shared a book with me and suggested i read it to learn and understand more about his job. he does a lot of classified work so i don't get to ask him much about it and i'm fine with that. my job isn't my life, so i kind of accepted that while it's a big part of his life it's not a big part he can talk about or would want to. i asked him if it was important to him that i learn more about his job and his response was "if you actually want to be in a relationship with me, then yeah."
this didn't upset me but it did prompt a conversation where i asked if he wanted to be in a relationship with me. he said he didn't know yet, but things looked good and that he thought we needed to hang out more. i expressed he's the only person i'm seeing right now and i'm interested in persuing this more, but just to let me know if he was seeing other people so i could keep a good handle on my feelings. he looked at me (kind of gravely) and said that he was only seeing me but if we get into a relationship it wouldn't "be for fun, but would be very serious". basically i think he wants to date to marry. i agreed it would be serious and we moved on.
several hours later i saw a bunch of hinge messages on his phone. it was the notification screen, i wasn't snooping just saw it out of the corner of my eye.
all this is to say i guess I'm just confused? if he's seeing other people that won't end things, i just don't want to get attached unless this will turn into something? and i don't know what else is important to learn about someone before dating them or how long to wait? all my previous relationships were in college, so the timelines of things were a bit different. any advice? thoughts?

Brother me and my girlfriend started dating in 2015 both 15 , we moved in together at 21- as of now basically almost 24* (im 23 shes 24 , a couple months older) , she had her own dark world and toxic household and so did i. Difference is i had a complete “family” , she was raised by her mother who treated her indifferent because she is her dads twin. She gave the most purest and sweetest love . It even gives me chills to write about it. She surprised me countless times , validated my feelings , took care of me more than own mother did bro. She put her ass on the line for me whenever and vice versa. We traveled to her country mu country and countless other places at a young age all alone . Im gonna be honest i cheated by grabbing another girls ass in 2018 and a year later in 2019 the girl from hs called her to tell her and she waited for me in my house but i was such a coward i kept denying and denying even though she knew exactly what had went on. Fast forward in 2021 shit got so rough my family always hated her for no reason (jealousy is a real thing bro) and so much happened. And imma be honest in 2022 i was taking care of her since we moved in together but 2022 i told her quit her job around early January February i told her i got us cause i found a job paying great so why not? That was my baby you know? So that year i went to a whorehouse with this dumbass loser i was working with and i fell for the temptation. Mind you this was a bad year for her she gained weight up to 260 and her family (mom and sister) they always treated her like shit and always was jealous of even me getting her stuff and just loving her and supporting her. Im not gonna lie yes i cheated and she found out about it the same day cause i fell asleep and went through my phone. My dumbass recorded a voice note that those whores can’t even give oral correctly they use all teeth , so when she found out that was a dealbreaker. Bro i destroyed her with that and i know i fucked up so bad this chick had a hot meal from scratch ready for me every single day after work.
Anyways fast forward to 2023, she told me when i get a job i got you and everything you ever did. She got the gastric sleeve surgery in September 2022 so 2023 in February she had started losing weight drastically and then eventually got a job the same month. Brother she was destroyed and still gave me food everyday still helped me still gave me sex just still was trying not giving up. I unfortunately didn’t see it this way due to my own internal problems and trauma and my selfish and stupid ways. Anyways even for my bday she took me to miami wasted $3k on the trip and it was amazing. Eventually it got toxic i got fired around October and i wasn’t really fully employed after that for a while so she had to pick up alot and my egocentric ass said hey i did it for you whats the problem a couple months you hold me down? (She should of been left me) but it got toxic and the stress from work her family me and me not working she was crashing out she would spazz on everyone and i dont blame her looking back she was just going though alot. We started cursing eachother out really bad and even got physical. Not fists punch or slaps just grabbing eachother , breaking stuff, throwing stuff out, breaking property.
Anyways for her birthday we went to paris (February 2024) and it was great till we argued (i really shouldn’t have gone cause i got a job in February the whole month and first month on the job i requested a week off already and i lied saying it was something else but it was really this trip i had) anyways after this trip she someway somehow forced me to quit my job because i was out from 6am-7pm everyday monday through Friday. March came and dont get me wrong guys my family i am blessed enough that they were sending me little amounts of money here and there to get me through they know i needed to pay rent food etc. march came and someway somehow when she said something to me she slammed the door and walked out so i immediately reacted and then slammed the door open to chase her . I come back the whole door is ripped off the frame . All the hinges ripped off. I ran away like a coward because she kept screaming at me and cursing me out saying you gotta replace it now but i didnt have 1$ to my name and im asking my mom and she is being a bitch on purpose. Long story short that was march 23rd i get arrested 4 days later because of property of destruction and then get out on limited order of protection. We ran into eachother a couple days later and we spoke she invited me over and i lived with her again the whole month of April.
Anyways in april im still just relying on my parents at this point because all these jobs im applying for are not in my favor to respond to me (no one hit me back up) . So towards the end of the month literally the Sunday before the 1st of May we get into another heated argument she said you dont do shit around here you a grown ass man this that and that and tbh bro i can show you my cashapp my mother send me like $1500 that month and every time she would send me $100 here or $300 there for food or something she would tell me waste it on weed. (We kinda of had a weed addiction we were wasting $40 a day 7days a week on weed, you do the math) so anyways most of the money my mom is sending me is being spent very inconsiderately and bad . I didnt think much of it cause i thought hey fuck it man im here whatever she wants to make her happy.
Anyways fast forward after the argument sunday before may 1st the weekend before may 1st i leave again because it got so crazy i wasn’t trying to spazz out so i walked out and left. Monday she tells me come back ik your mom isnt cooking im not heartless i still wanna be friends with benefits or friends . Whatever she said and also she said i built this bond with you no one knows me like you do. (We lost our virginity to eachother , we literally told eachother our deepest darkest secrets , met eachothers families, did all this together was very intimate) so i went back and as she said we ate we cuddled etc. the next day after work we go out the whole day because her and mom and sister arent on good terms i forgot to mention we lived in a basement and her mother on the 1st floor. The whole month of april they were on bad terms (just walking by eachother not even talking or acknowledging eachother) so we go out the next day after that Tuesday before May 1st. After work we do all that and come back home at 6/7 ish . I havent checked her phone in ages cause i fucked up alot and honestly i kind of had a feeling if i did i was gonna see exactly what i was looking for.
Anyways i still did it cause im a stubborn hardheaded motherfucker, and ofc i saw her texting sexual with some guy she told me she was talking as friends on and off for since November. The convo went like him: im dying to find out i just wanna carry you on top of me , her: omg i forget you’re so tall i love it , him: omg i forget you’re so short i love it, her: Stoppppp omg with the emojis, him: plus if you aren’t gonna wear that dress when we go out atleast where it when you invite me over :p , her: lol i guess im small ( she posted a picture in a shirt blouse showing her curves and body and curly hair) , bro i saw this and went back inside from checking her phone in the middle of the road and said is this what you’re doing to me ? Are you serious? She laughed in my face and said well you’re reading it aren’t you? I lost it and spit in her face and called her a nasty you know what just like her sister. How shes just like her sister (her sister fucks any guy to fill her void and to get money/gifts in exchange. (Going back as to why they weren’t on good terms in april her and her sister got into a physical fight because her sister wore her deadstock jordans i got her from 2018 that are now worth $700 and fried them . What blew my mind during the fight was her sister looked and me straight in the eyes that day and said i know alot about you as if she got something on me. That made me wonder alot. Also she called my ex gf a slut which made me think what the fuck) anyways fast forward after i catch her cheating on me she chases me in her underwear for 12 blocks and im toying running around cars with her at that point and i threw her phone on the ground and she ran right past it. Long story short i got arrested and now im facing a felony cause of that and its no contact as of rn till July when this court date happens. I miss the fuck out of her and regardless of anything i wish her the best and miss her dearly . Side note my brother showed me she was what appeared on a date Yesterday