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My amazing Bi-Salp Experience at 25!

2024.05.15 15:04 celestebcg My amazing Bi-Salp Experience at 25!

A lot of write posts about peoples experience with their Bi-Salp helped me prepare for mine so I thought I would post about my personal experience!!
So about three years ago, I got my copper IUD placed. I didn’t want to try any hormonal birth control because I tend to be hormone imbalanced, considering I got my period when I was nine years old and I already had ovarian cyst when I was 12 I didn’t want to add to the mix. For the first two years of me having it because my wedding ended up getting postponed due to Covid January 2023, I got married started my first year with the copper IUD being actually sexually active. I always loved my IUD because of the presence of no side effects. Other than the fact that my periods were terrible my periods would fluctuate from being seven days to eight days to 14 days to 20 days long. Throughout the month, I would always spot and have random cramping and then on the day cycle or the day leading up, I was already spotting a lot.. I would take 800 mg of ibuprofen every four hours for the entirety of my period because I could not Barrett all of this medication definitely affected my gut health. Towards the fall of last year, I felt like my cycles were getting a little lighter. Finally I thought I’m about to be three years with this may be it will be regulating a little more soon even with the copper had an extreme paranoia of anxiety, but I didn’t realize how extreme my anxiety is now that this risk of getting pregnant I felt was so prevalent, even though I had a obsess over people and I didn’t use any other form of birth control like condoms because I didn’t really like how it felt. I was always paranoid sitting on the toilet for hours waiting for everything to come out not doing anything for two weeks out of the month I include my period and then my ovulation week because that would also make me more paranoid. The last few months of a light cycle I got the worst cycles I had ever gotten they lasted about three weeks with giant clotting and in general I would always be having to wear. Diapers. I would wear a diaper with a pad on the inside of it and I would go through that every hour and a half so my blood loss was intense after my cycle I would get super lightheaded and the worst part is that I have always been chronically anemic my whole life I’m also vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.. It was a perfect storm. The anemia was being affected by the IUD blood loss and then I was diagnosed with heavy menstrual hemorrhaging. so in January, I decided to go to the doctor and see if there was any other options. Still, I knew that birth-control with hormones was not some thing I wanted. I was referred to a minimally, invasive, OB/GYN surgeon, and I asked about getting a Bi-Salp. he spoke to me about the whole process, and I was very excited that day we decided to take my IUD out, which thankfully was not as painful as the torturous insertion. His plan was let’s see how my natural cycle after. Take the IUD out if my bleeding regulates and I’m not losing as much blood. Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week. 22 Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia, but by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week period to a 2 to 3 day. to 3 day period. Not even days after removing my copper IUD I felt so much relief. I felt a fullness disappear that I didn’t even realize was there in the first place and a lot of other things changed to my skin got clear and overall I felt less anxious. I believe that the copper in the IUD had been causing me some sort of copper toxicity. so after two months, I called the doctor and told him that my period had gotten better so I went back and we schedule the Bi-Salp. So I went two months without any birth control and stayed away from my husband. Lol, thankfully at the end of the two months I was able to get my surgery and a week before my surgery. I went to a regular visit with my OB and they did an ultrasound and they saw that they’re good possibly be a polyp on my uterus so when they went in to do my procedure, they also did a Oppie with to see if there was any polyps and remove the polyps that were there. They also found some cysts that they removed and I also had some endometriosis growing on my left tube and ovary thankfully they were able to remove! For the surgery and leading up to it, I stayed away away from any foods that would make me gassy and anything that would constipate me. I was drinking MiraLAX in my tea every night for the week leading up to the surgery.
Surgery day of: On the morning of the surgery, I was advised to not take my Vyvanse, which I use for anxiety and ADHD. So I skipped it and just drink water since I have been fasting since 10 PM the night before. When I arrive to the hospital, I was able to go to the bathroom thankfully and then started getting prepped for surgery. They obviously had me do a urine test and then got me set up with my IV where they would insure all of my meds this was very painful, but I sat and waited before I was feeling loopy. They gave me the anti-stress and anxiety medication before they administered the anesthesia and suddenly I was knocked out. All I remember is walking into the surgery room and thinking wow this is like Grey’s Anatomy and then knocking out next thing, I remember I wake up in the room and I am very groggy and out of it. Thankfully, the anesthesia did not cause nausea. The hardest part during this transition was getting me to pee because I kept wanting to fall asleep so badly but they kept telling me if I didn’t pee then I wouldn’t be able to go home to finally sleep so I was bloated and swollen And I finally peed the second time. After that, I was discharged and my family did a great job at trying to keep me awake while we drove home because I was asleep in the car that could get nauseous and throw up, which would hurt my belly from making those kind of movements. Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the pain from the gas pain from the laparoscopic surgery. This pain was definitely intense and it progressed my worst day was the day after the surgery. But that same night after the surgery was difficult because I could not find any position where I was comfortable. I was taking Gas-X every two hours charcoal pills every two hours and ibuprofen and Tylenol alternated every four hours. They gave me OXY if I wanted to take it, but I never did because I didn’t wanna get constipated and I really didn’t feel any pain that the oxy could resolve pain medication does not resolve gas pain. First night I slept propped up with a lot of pillows around me holding my belly holding me from every position where I could put more weight to add pain to my body well, I didn’t really sleep that night, but I tried to sleep, but I rested upright on the couch and I was up maybe every hour going to pee and walking around because the best advice I could give is just walk as much as it hurts. Everything hurts with these gas pain so I feel better to be walking around in pain than to be sitting down, knowing that I’m not actually resolving any of the gases that is the only way the gases will escape your body. That was exhausting because I could not sleep as much as I wanted to. the day was extremely painful trapped in my ribs. It felt like someone had a split my ribs but again I had no tenderness or soreness in my abdomen no cramping anything like that. I complain the most and the most uncomfortable part of everything was just being very very bloated and not being able to suck in my stomach. I’m naturally a very thin person so having my stomach was frustrating because none of my clothes fit me comfortably. The bloating started from the top of my rib cage all the way down. But I kept up with charcoal pills and Gas-X, and I’m thinking the charcoal definitely help because I would notice a difference after taking that even more so than the Gas-X. I finally was able to go to the bathroom after the surgery and thankfully it was a smooth transition to going into the bathroom. I’m sure the MiraLAX helped because of that and I had hardly been eating because my stomach was so swollen and were so severe that even one bite of food in my stomach would make everything swell up even more and it it would hurt me. So those first few days I kept it very light. The second night after the surgery was another miserable night. I almost cried that night because I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I hadn’t slept or napped all day because the pain would prevent me from being able to rest in a comfortable position and then all night again, I did not sleep, those were the hardest 2 nights. The following day I saw a tiny bit of progress with the gas pain. But eventually, I think I got used to it by Saturday surgery having been Monday. I felt significantly better still very swollen but better. Sunday I left the house for the first time got ready put normal clothes on. The loosest clothes that I had. And that was nice to finally leave the house and try to do something normal, came back and was definitely exhausted and rested for the rest of the day by this point I was no longer taking any pain medication. Just the charcoal pills. By Monday I was feeling significantly better. I had gotten my cycle over the weekend and it was not a very painful cycle. Just a little bit of mild cramping and bleeding but nothing crazy on Wednesday. I had my follow up appointment a week and a half after surgery and I was cleared for all activity and just told to be careful with how heavy things are when I lift them to stay away from anything more than 30 pounds. I had sex for the first time in three months because of the fact that I had no birth control before my surgery for those two months when they had taken my IUD out. It was a little bit painful because my body had gotten used to sex and no penetration at all. Very quickly my bodygot used to it again. And I enjoyed it so much. I was scared to have an orgasm because I had heard online that some people complained of cramping after the orgasm, but I had no cramping at all only enjoyment. The fact that I was able to do everything I wanted without any anxiety that I would get pregnant without having to do anything to prevent that was liberating and it literally has improved my sex life incredibly and just the short amount of time today I am 2 1/2 weeks postop. And I feel great. My incisions are healing really well and I’m about to start using scar tape for the scars. I have barely any gases. My stomach is as flat as it normally is, and I’ve been feeling wonderful. The only thing I noticed after my surgery was a little bit of breaking out right after the surgery, but they said that that was normal since a lot of the drugs and medicine they put into your system for surgery is basically detoxing after you come out of surgery so it comes out of your body in different ways. I do not regret this surgery. It has completely changed my mindset towards life. I feel free finally. I’m sure my age has a lot to do with my recovery time and overall I’m a very sickly person for my age so I was expecting for this recovery to take me weeks to months, but I am feeling wonderful. I’m about to be the maid of honor for a wedding this Friday and I feel no restraint and dancing or anything of this sort. I’m grateful I didn’t get any soreness or pain in my abdomen after the surgery and that all I had to deal with was the severe gas pain. I know that is not everyone’s experience, but that was mine and I’m very happy with it. Just wanted to share some details on how everything went and hopefully this can be helpful to someone. Thankfully, my insurance covered most of the procedure and all I had to pay was $1,500. I have never been happier with a decision in my life.
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2024.05.15 15:03 sunnyleahomescanada Revamp Your Home: Top Renovation Trends to Inform Your 2024 Project

Thinking about giving your home a refresh? You're certainly not alone! The world of home renovations is buzzing with exciting trends that can transform your living space into a more functional, stylish, and comfortable haven. Whether you're planning a dramatic overhaul or some strategic upgrades, staying informed about what's popular can help you make the best decisions for your project. Here's a breakdown of some of the hottest trends in home renovation for 2024:
Sustainable and Eco-Friendly Materials: Beauty with a Conscience
Incorporating eco-friendly practices into our daily lives is a growing priority, and home renovations are no exception. The good news is that you can achieve a beautiful aesthetic while minimizing your environmental impact. Sustainable materials like bamboo, cork, and recycled plastics are becoming increasingly popular choices for furniture and fixtures. These materials are not only aesthetically pleasing but also boast impressive durability, reducing the need for frequent replacements.
Smart Homes: Technology Enhances Your Living Experience
Imagine a kitchen that guides you through complex recipes or a bathroom that automatically adjusts the shower temperature to your preference. This isn't just a futuristic fantasy; it's the exciting reality of smart home technology. With advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) and the Internet of Things (IoT), homes are getting smarter. Voice-controlled lighting systems, smart appliances that preheat your oven while you're commuting home, and a variety of other features are becoming increasingly accessible. Integrating these features can significantly enhance your comfort and safety, streamlining everyday tasks and creating a more responsive living environment.
Maximalism Makes a Bold Statement: Embrace Your Personality
Minimalism may have dominated design trends for a while, but 2024 sees a shift towards maximalism. This design approach celebrates bold colors, eclectic patterns, and a playful mix of textures. It's your chance to showcase your unique personality and create a vibrant, eye-catching space that reflects your style. Think luxurious velvet cushions, cozy faux fur throws, and stunning hand-painted murals that transform any room into a conversation starter.
Multifunctional Spaces: Optimizing Your Square Footage
With the rise of remote work arrangements, maximizing space efficiency has become a major priority for many homeowners. The latest designs focus on creating rooms that can seamlessly transition between functionalities. Imagine a home office that cleverly converts into a comfortable living area in the evening, or a cleverly designed fold-away desk that disappears when not in use. Convertible furniture that adapts to your needs is key in making the most of your square footage.
Organic Shapes Inspired by Nature: Create a Tranquil Ambiance
Soft, natural curves are making a comeback in both architectural elements and furniture design. These organic shapes are not only aesthetically pleasing but also contribute to a more calming and inviting atmosphere. Consider incorporating elements like curved walls, rounded furniture pieces, and flowing patterns to add a touch of serenity and fluidity to your home environment.
Dramatic Accents: Statement Pieces That Make an Impact
Don't be afraid to make a statement in your renovated space! A sculptural pendant light can become the focal point of your living room, while dramatic backsplash tiles can elevate your kitchen design from ordinary to extraordinary. Zellige tiles, with their unique handcrafted look, and striking slabs of stone or quartz can create a truly unforgettable impression in your bathroom or kitchen.
From Dream Kitchens to Custom Homes: Tailoring Trends to Your Project
The beauty of these trends is their versatility. They can be applied to a wide range of renovation projects, from a complete home overhaul to a specific room refresh. Whether you're dreaming of a custom-designed kitchen to perfect your culinary skills, a spa-like bathroom retreat, or a condo renovation to maximize a smaller space, there are ways to incorporate these popular ideas and create a functional, beautiful, and personalized haven tailored to your unique needs and preferences.
Let's Discuss Your Renovation Dreams!
The home renovation trends of 2024 offer a wealth of inspiration to create a living space that reflects your style and values. By embracing these trends, you can ensure your home is not only stylish but also meets the demands of modern living. Are you ready to transform your space? Let's discuss how to bring these trends to life in your dream home project!
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2024.05.15 15:01 Laroxide Sanctum Wonderland

Sanctum Wonderland
Sanctum Wonderland is live!
https://preview.redd.it/a54vw3vz7l0d1.png?width=672&format=png&auto=webp&s=c4799d08d10cb8ac5d2731a6c21eae7f1d0c16ec
What is Wonderland? Sanctum Wonderland is the gamified platform where the goal is to earn as much EXPs as you can to climb up the leaderboard.
You collect EXPs through: - Pets - Multipliers - Community Quests - Referral Cupcakes
How to join Sanctum Wonderland How to Register (CODE "L8ISQU" REQUIRED)
Connect your solana wallet (phantom, backpack, solflare, etc)
Sanctum Liquid Staking Tokens (LSTs) Sanctum offers 18 different LSTs. Each liquid staking token (LST) has its corresponding pet.
To own a Pet, simply hold at least 0.1 SOL worth of it's corresponding LST
During Season 1 you earn 10 EXP per minute for every 1 SOL worth of (LST)SOL that you hold. Pets can level up when they gain EXP.
The EXP needed to level up will increase exponentially per level. However, the base rate at which your Pet earns EXP stays constant across all levels. The max Level is 999. All Pets earn 10 EXP per minute for every 1 SOL worth of the respective LST that you currently hold. This is known as the base rate of earning EXP.
Wonderland Community Quests Community Quests are tasks and puzzles for you to complete alongside other Wonderers in exchange for EXP Multipliers.
There are two kind of Quests: - Task quest - Puzzle quest
Quests will be released weekly, in batches of 2-3 quests. Expect rewards on upcoming Fridays.
Referral Cupcakes If someone successfully joins Sanctum Wonderland using your referral code you earn 5% of your referee’s EXPs throughout Season 1.
You will automatically be rewarded with a Referral Cupcake for every 20,000 Referral EXPs that you earn.
Join Sanctum now to start earning EXP that may be valuable in the future! click the link ➡️: https://app.sanctum.so/wonderland?ref=L8ISQU
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2024.05.15 14:52 nobodysgeese Rattler's Gulch

Originally for SEUS: Film EU
Based on The Man with No Name trilogy of Clint Eastwood westerns
It was raining that day, a desultory rain whose rare droplets did more to kick up the dust than water the ground. The clouds overhead provided more relief from the relentless summer heat, letting people move around the mining town's only street in relative comfort. Not that there were many people left since the silver dried up.
I stood behind the bar, wiping out a glass as my eyes darted about the room. Half the tables were taken by the gang, rough men as likely to start a shootout as pay up in their card games. The Smith boys were in their usual corner of my saloon, the last of the old crowd, tough enough and poor enough that the gang didn't bother them much. They traded the same handful of battered coins around the table to the whims of a lazy game of poker. Jess was seated at the bar, nursing the whiskey I handed him without the need to order. Poor lad. Heard the tales of the mining rush late, and arrived on the last train to ever come down the tracks, now drinking away his funds and waiting for something to happen.
The usual customers were in, so I was surprised when a man strode in. He was tall, tall enough that I could see his weather-worn face under his lowered hat brim. He paused in the threshold, brushing the raindrops off his old, patched green poncho. I couldn't help but notice it was cut to give him easy access to his pistols, and that his eyes never stopped dancing around the room, assessing. The spurs on his boots clicked in the sudden silence as he approached the bar. Out of the corner of an eye, I saw some of the gang beginning to shift in their seats. I didn't like the way their hands were drifting below the tables, right around belt level.
Still, there was nothing to do but pretend everything was normal and hope they held off shooting until they were outside. I forced a smile I was far from feeling. "Welcome to Rattler's Gulch. What brings you here, Mr...?"
He took a stool. "Whiskey. And just passing through."
It took me a moment too long to realize that was his order rather than his name, and I fumbled with the bottles in my haste. As I set the shot before him, another twinge of nervousness wracked me, seeing a pair of gang members rise and approach on either side of him.
I swallowed. It was the same old story. "Payment, sir?" I croaked through a dry throat. If I was lucky, I could get paid before they dragged him out. It was hard enough to keep the bar going as it was.
The man nodded amicably enough and set a coin on the counter. But before I could sweep it away, the man on the right, the tallest of the gang, leaned on the counter. He set his forearm between me and the money, while blocking the stranger from reaching his drink.
"You don't belong here, friend."
"Yeah," his partner said, "So why don't you just mosey on out."
The stranger considered this for a time that felt far too long, and I froze in place, not daring to duck and draw unwanted attention. "Just getting a drink before I move on. Wasn't planning on staying long."
The tall man chuckled. "And I'm saying you've already overstayed your welcome. Git."
The stranger nodded slowly. He reached for his coin, but the shorter man stopped him. "Gotta pay the toll."
From the back, someone else piped in. "I think the toll ain't high enough, for the aggravation he's done caused."
It was a familiar scene, played out with every rare stranger to town. The Smith boys didn't look up, and Jess huddled lower over his glass. It helped me feel a little less a coward. It wasn't that there was nothing I could do, but rather that there was nothing we could do. All united in our cowardice, or helplessness, ready to watch the same old story play out again.
But it didn't this time. This time, I saw magic.
I dropped below the bar when I saw the stranger's hands move. The sound of gunfire went on longer than I expected, and too many screams rang out. At last, it was silent, and I poked my head out.
The gang was dead, every one of them. Bodies strewn about the saloon, one half-laying through a broken window, yet another collapsed in the street where he'd tried to run, the doors swinging from the force of his passage. I could only stand and stare as the stranger put away his revolvers and took his drink.
Perhaps, finally, it was time for a new story.
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2024.05.15 14:33 HopelessMia1424 Bloom in Unicorn of War's S6 rewrite

Another thing I don't like about their season 6 rewrite is how they wrote Bloom. I know they were trying to make Bloom less of a Mary Sue in their rewrite, but it doesn't mean having her suffer because of her being favoured by Rainbow in the newer seasons. Their rewrite also made Bloom look like she was actually stealing the spotlight when most of it was on the writers, not Bloom.
Not to mention it's bad writing because it's like Unicorn of War is trying to prove that Bloom is not a Mary Sue because she has all these bad things happening to her. Just because a character is suffering, doesn't mean they are automatically no longer Mary Sue. It's not even a good way to build a character at all. It's alright if a character has struggles, but if it's all that the character has, it's not good writing.
It also feels out of character for the rest of the Winx to act this hostile to Bloom, even if she did annoy them somehow. I know the girls lost their memories in the rewrite, but it still feels so odd for them to do that (also how did they even know that Bloom "dragged" them into the problems, despite having lost their memories). In my opinion, it feels like Unicorn of War is just projecting their dislike towards season 5-8 Bloom by having her suffer a lot rather than staying true to season 1-3 Bloom and building her character up. Bloom in this rewrite doesn't even feel like 1-3 Bloom at all.
It would have been so much better if they made Bloom similar to her season 1-3 self, albeit more mature and experienced. It would be interesting if Bloom also lost her memories and tried to rediscover who she was along with her friends.
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2024.05.15 14:26 No-Recipe-8294 Was I an mkultra/ human trafficking subject in the 80s, 90s and 2000s? Pt 2

Chapter 2
Before doing a deep dive into my memory flashes to discover and how and why my life unfolded the way it did I think I’ll do a timeline. This will help me and the reader (if anyone follows along at all) put the pieces in chronological order.
I was born to a teenage mom, a month after she turned 16 and a barely drinking age dad. No memory, so these early years (before the court) will be what I’ve been told.
“Had the perfect family and the mom who adored me”
At two they decided to break up and it was very ugly. My paternal grandparents paid for the best lawyer in all of the state to get my dad custody. He was accused of molesting me (my mom’s argument in court) I don’t know why it was so ugly but during the trial I was placed in a facility and only allowed short visits. Here is an excerpt from their website.
“We are a behavioral health agency specializing in the treatment of families, children and their caregivers who are struggling due to issues of divorce, homelessness, child abuse/neglect, family violence or other crises. Our highly trained staff specializes in trauma-informed treatment methods that create a safe and comfortable environment in which our clients can heal. We serve children, youth and their families struggling with mental and behavioral health issues that impact their success at home, school and in their community.”
I was then allowed to be with my maternal grandparents while the case continued. She had an in home daycare. My grandpa was not by blood. She had divorced my mom’s dad when my mom was just a baby. He was dark and satanic, into satanic rituals and things like that. A biker. And a pedophile. I never knew him.
My dad won the case and my mom lost all custody and was not granted any visitation at all. (And I didn’t see her or speak with her again until I was around 5. Then again at 14. Then again at 16.)I lived with my dad and his parents and siblings and saw maternal grandparents every other weekend.
At three, I went to a private preschool.
At four I attended a public school where my paternal grandma was a principal and my maternal grandma was a teachers aid as well. Here I stayed for preschool through half of second grade.
My grandparents decided they were no longer happy where we were. My grandpa moved to the mountains and my grandma moved to Georgetown in DC to attend the Jesuit college.
My dad met Jennifer (name changed) at this time and we moved into her downtown apartment. I changed schools. Finished my 2nd grade year and half of third grade.
We moved from the apartment back into my childhood home and I changed schools again. Finished my 3rd grade and half of fourth grade at a new school.
Half way through my fourth grade year I was sent to Georgetown with paternal grandma and aunt. My dad and Jennifer stayed at home. We lived in the basement of a multimillion dollar home in the heart of where the wealthy live. Cobblestone streets. Beautiful houses and lots of money. Like from a movie. I went to a very elite small elementary school with only one class per grade. I finished fourth grade and fifth grade here.
The summer of sixth grade my dad had broken up with Jennifer and moved to the mountains with my grandpa. I moved back with them. I went from super ritzy upscale city life with two women, to a small house in the mountains with barely even indoor plumbing with 2 men. The town was small and secluded. Everyone knew everyone type of place. only one elementary school and the middle school was on the same premises of the high school. I was here 6th grade through half of 9th grade. My dad then met Candace (name changed) and moved thirty minutes away to slightly bigger town with her. These years I went every summer to stay with my grandma who had moved from DC to Arlington, VA and lived in crystal city.
Over the summer I was sent to live in New York City with my aunt. When summer was over, we got an apartment in staten island so I could attend school and she commuted to the city everyday by ferry. This school had thousands of kids and seemed like hundreds of classes. This was when 9/11 happened. I was in my language class (Italian) when the news came over the intercom. My auntie worked near the world trade center by only blocks. She made the last ferry out and came to the school, which was on lockdown, for me. I didn’t go back to the city for the remainder of 2001.
In March of 02 my dad came to NY packed us both up and we drove across the country to cali to drop her off then back to southwest. I moved back to the small town with my dad and Candace. And finished the last months of my sophomore year commuting the thirty minutes to my old school. They were a violent and toxic couple so I begged to move back to grandpas in the mountain town.
I changed schools again for my junior year. I went to one of two high schools in the slightly bigger town where my dad and Candace lived. Close to my senior year my dad came to my work one night and said he and Candace had broken up. He had a small apartment. A one bedroom. I was welcome to stay and he would take the couch. He knew 18 was close and he wanted me to live with him before I was out on my own. I did. I met my husband this year as well. He lived close to where I was born. We stayed long distance until I turned 18. When I turned 18, I found a charter school in my original hometown and we got an apartment.
The rest is history. My adult life is another novel of its own and I’m exhausted.
I fear posting this. If anyone were to come across it by chance they would know immediately it was me. And the memories I hope to uncover are to humiliating and intense and known by no one. I have never spoke about them to anyone. The other obvious issue is if in fact I was a victim in mkultra/child trafficking, it automatically implies my family must have had some kind of knowledge. Which would imply they did this to me. And if it’s not true everything I write and all the memory flashes are just me being a slut and having zero self worth. It would be that I’m was the problem the entire time.
And why did I never finish a school year any where? Lol
No, maybe this is a mistake. Maybe everything is better left unsaid and uncovered. I’m exhausted now.
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2024.05.15 14:25 No-Recipe-8294 Was I an mkultra/ human trafficking subject in the 80s, 90s and 2000s?

Chapter 2
Before doing a deep dive into my memory flashes to discover and how and why my life unfolded the way it did I think I’ll do a timeline. This will help me and the reader (if anyone follows along at all) put the pieces in chronological order.
I was born to a teenage mom, a month after she turned 16 and a barely drinking age dad. No memory, so these early years (before the court) will be what I’ve been told.
“Had the perfect family and the mom who adored me”
At two they decided to break up and it was very ugly. My paternal grandparents paid for the best lawyer in all of the state to get my dad custody. He was accused of molesting me (my mom’s argument in court) I don’t know why it was so ugly but during the trial I was placed in a facility and only allowed short visits. Here is an excerpt from their website.
“We are a behavioral health agency specializing in the treatment of families, children and their caregivers who are struggling due to issues of divorce, homelessness, child abuse/neglect, family violence or other crises. Our highly trained staff specializes in trauma-informed treatment methods that create a safe and comfortable environment in which our clients can heal. We serve children, youth and their families struggling with mental and behavioral health issues that impact their success at home, school and in their community.”
I was then allowed to be with my maternal grandparents while the case continued. She had an in home daycare. My grandpa was not by blood. She had divorced my mom’s dad when my mom was just a baby. He was dark and satanic, into satanic rituals and things like that. A biker. And a pedophile. I never knew him.
My dad won the case and my mom lost all custody and was not granted any visitation at all. (And I didn’t see her or speak with her again until I was around 5. Then again at 14. Then again at 16.)I lived with my dad and his parents and siblings and saw maternal grandparents every other weekend.
At three, I went to a private preschool.
At four I attended a public school where my paternal grandma was a principal and my maternal grandma was a teachers aid as well. Here I stayed for preschool through half of second grade.
My grandparents decided they were no longer happy where we were. My grandpa moved to the mountains and my grandma moved to Georgetown in DC to attend the Jesuit college.
My dad met Jennifer (name changed) at this time and we moved into her downtown apartment. I changed schools. Finished my 2nd grade year and half of third grade.
We moved from the apartment back into my childhood home and I changed schools again. Finished my 3rd grade and half of fourth grade at a new school.
Half way through my fourth grade year I was sent to Georgetown with paternal grandma and aunt. My dad and Jennifer stayed at home. We lived in the basement of a multimillion dollar home in the heart of where the wealthy live. Cobblestone streets. Beautiful houses and lots of money. Like from a movie. I went to a very elite small elementary school with only one class per grade. I finished fourth grade and fifth grade here.
The summer of sixth grade my dad had broken up with Jennifer and moved to the mountains with my grandpa. I moved back with them. I went from super ritzy upscale city life with two women, to a small house in the mountains with barely even indoor plumbing with 2 men. The town was small and secluded. Everyone knew everyone type of place. only one elementary school and the middle school was on the same premises of the high school. I was here 6th grade through half of 9th grade. My dad then met Candace (name changed) and moved thirty minutes away to slightly bigger town with her. These years I went every summer to stay with my grandma who had moved from DC to Arlington, VA and lived in crystal city.
Over the summer I was sent to live in New York City with my aunt. When summer was over, we got an apartment in staten island so I could attend school and she commuted to the city everyday by ferry. This school had thousands of kids and seemed like hundreds of classes. This was when 9/11 happened. I was in my language class (Italian) when the news came over the intercom. My auntie worked near the world trade center by only blocks. She made the last ferry out and came to the school, which was on lockdown, for me. I didn’t go back to the city for the remainder of 2001.
In March of 02 my dad came to NY packed us both up and we drove across the country to cali to drop her off then back to southwest. I moved back to the small town with my dad and Candace. And finished the last months of my sophomore year commuting the thirty minutes to my old school. They were a violent and toxic couple so I begged to move back to grandpas in the mountain town.
I changed schools again for my junior year. I went to one of two high schools in the slightly bigger town where my dad and Candace lived. Close to my senior year my dad came to my work one night and said he and Candace had broken up. He had a small apartment. A one bedroom. I was welcome to stay and he would take the couch. He knew 18 was close and he wanted me to live with him before I was out on my own. I did. I met my husband this year as well. He lived close to where I was born. We stayed long distance until I turned 18. When I turned 18, I found a charter school in my original hometown and we got an apartment.
The rest is history. My adult life is another novel of its own and I’m exhausted.
I fear posting this. If anyone were to come across it by chance they would know immediately it was me. And the memories I hope to uncover are to humiliating and intense and known by no one. I have never spoke about them to anyone. The other obvious issue is if in fact I was a victim in mkultra/child trafficking, it automatically implies my family must have had some kind of knowledge. Which would imply they did this to me. And if it’s not true everything I write and all the memory flashes are just me being a slut and having zero self worth. It would be that I’m was the problem the entire time.
And why did I never finish a school year any where? Lol
No, maybe this is a mistake. Maybe everything is better left unsaid and uncovered. I’m exhausted now.
submitted by No-Recipe-8294 to u/No-Recipe-8294 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:24 pissingstones In no contact after break up. But my ex is not responding. 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 weeks ago my ex broke up with me, he said he didnt feel the extra, or something was missing. It happen one day after i caught him texting his ex girlfriend and asked him about it. He broke up with me after paying a huge date, comedy show, bar bills, a restaurant and he broke up with me. I simply said "ok i would have work on us, but i will respect your decision" and walked away. Started no contact 20 mins later. Not to get him back. The disrespect was the closure for me.
I can't express how good i feel since. I think it was for the best. I dont stay where im not appreciated. I dont feel like i lost anything. I feel relief he is gone. Im the dumpee. So i reached out to my therapist, she knows i myself thought of breaking up often. But i also wanted to be respectful since he was going throught a lot with finances and his sick mom. But he was texting his ex every two days but didnt want to tell her about me. Claiming they were friends but not enough to tell her about his new relationship. She looked at my profil a couple of time, i bet she knew... anyway I was suprised he gave up on us. Things seems fine before he said he chose me... He told me i was his best sex, that he was super attracted to me, that he was enjoying his time with me always but was just not feeling it. It could be true who knows, but i think it has everything to do with his sms exchange with his ex.
Im very secure with myself and i know my worth. It took me two days to grief and kill my ego. And realize i was not losing anything. He never showed me how special i was. So who lost who? But he was losing a caring, genuine and invested girlfriend, willing to work on us and giving. So i honestly feel fine. I never reached out, for me it's done. I lowkey like breakups because for me i dont stay where im not appreicated. So breakups means a new chapter is starting.
1 week and a half into no contact he texted me to ask how i was. That he was in lost of words, that he wanted to reached out sooner but didn't know what to say. And to tell me i had stuffs at his place. That he really hoped i was okay... To arrange the exchange of personal belongings.
Since he said during the breakup that he didnt value me, i dont feel like investing any energy into this man no more. So i simply answered with "Yeah cool, let me know when" and he never replied to my text. Now im not really in any hurry to get my stuffs back plus my friends could get it for me, since im on my way to Tokyo (some much needed alone time). But why did he act so caring to not respond. His friends are watching my IG stories and i just hope things wont drag. I want all this to be over and pour all my good vibes on me and the loving people of my life.
I dont really think of that on a daily basis, but i'm on the plane and i have 22h for myself. I thought asking for advices here would be helpful. How can i get my stuffs back? Why is he dragging the whole process, he couls have just say when and everything would be done like he wanted. He has to live with the consequences of his actions and that means losing me obviously. You can't say to a woman who respect herself that you didn't value her and probably used me for sex to be in 6 months relationship and admit he didnt see me, to stay in your life.
I won't reached out now, since i already answered and planning my trip sounds more fun. My main focus isnt on this. But will he ever respond so all this is done for both. Like what's up with that?
Ps. English is not my first language. Thank you!
submitted by pissingstones to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:21 mdenzpg how do you get through life living in a constant state of depression knowing you can’t and won’t off yourself?

sorry if this is triggering but i’m so tired.
it really feels like my heart is about to explode when i realize how long it has been of me trying to catch up all the things and the time i lost on my trauma and still feel no relief from those times. i know there’s studies done that show how self improvement can actually lead to more negative results but what else is left for people like us? i’ve been getting “healthier” by eating well, going to the gym, taking care of myself, trying at life despite how messy it is, all while knowing deep down i wish nothing but to not be here. it just feels like i can’t breathe can’t die and can’t do nothing about it but to internally suffocate alone.
i don’t want friends or to socialize or to interact with anyone. if i interact with people and offer kind gestures i genuinely don’t want anything said or to be done to me in return, not even a stare. i hate being perceived. hate forcing myself to get ready and putting makeup on and sometimes receiving random compliments or nice actions from strangers. i know some people are kind and maybe considerate of each other but i don’t trust anyone no matter what, which is why i hate all of this. i’m always so dissociated asking myself useless questions such as “why would they even think i’m a nice person who’s going to be automatically nice to them in return?” but i always act like one. i have no idea of who i am or become, my personality is gone and as much as i try to relax and trust myself, everything about me feels hopeless lmao.
like how do you cope with all of the internal chaos that you can’t/won’t express on the outside? i just want a way OUT. i dread my 23th bday coming up too. i actually think i might internally die again from the realization that i’m still here.
submitted by mdenzpg to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:09 Alex98799 Panasonic NN-SN936W Countertop Microwave

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Please check the Panasonic NN-SN936W Countertop Microwave. This countertop marvel boasts Panasonic's innovative Inverter Technology, which delivers consistent, restaurant-quality results every time. Unlike conventional microwaves that zap food unevenly, the Inverter Technology showers your dishes with gentle, continuous waves, leaving you with no more cold spots or overcooked edges.
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Imagine fluffy, evenly steamed vegetables, juicy reheated leftovers, and perfectly defrosted meats – all within minutes. The built-in Genius Sensor takes the stress out of cooking by automatically adjusting power levels and cook times based on the type and amount of food you're preparing. Plus, with 14 pre-programmed settings for everything from popcorn to pizza, whipping up delicious meals is a breeze.
But the NN-SN936W isn't just about speed and convenience. It also boasts a handy Keep Warm function that ensures your soups, gravies, or even decadent desserts stay warm and fresh until you're ready to serve. So ditch the mad scramble to get everything on the table at once – this microwave lets you focus on the company while keeping your food at its perfect temperature.
https://bakingreview.com/panasonic-nn-sn936w-countertop-microwave/
submitted by Alex98799 to u/Alex98799 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:06 usedsteamkettles Know the Benefits of Tilting Steam Kettle

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Adding a steam kettle to your kitchen enhances efficiency and profitability through uniform heating, faster heat transfer, and reduced labor. It ensures even cooking, minimizes food waste, and simplifies cleaning. This versatile tool is ideal for food service operations, offering significant time and energy savings.
https://preview.redd.it/68rx74wlxk0d1.jpg?width=394&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab5c821a45b042e7dae44114bfbf14f7424b62bf
Adding a steam kettle to your kitchen is a fantastic idea. Modern steam kettles have the potential to revolutionize your kitchen operations. Compared to traditional stockpot cooking, a steam kettle provides better product handling, more uniform heating, and faster heat transfer, all of which are great for food service operations in the kitchen. Adding a steam kettle to your kitchen has several benefits, and these are just a few of them. The time and money savings from using a steam kettle can be significant for your kitchen's efficiency and profitability.
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If you want your food cooked perfectly in a stockpot on a stovetop or burner, watch it and ensure the heat is proper. One minor difference is how a steam kettle works. In contrast to a bottom-only steam kettle, a steam kettle draws heat from all directions.
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Your crew is required to do some operational tasks during each shift. They could get some relief from their tension if you installed a steam kettle. With a Tilting Steam Kettle, you can boil meals gently and evenly with little to no supervision. For instance, it might keep soups and stews warm and ready, saving the time spent reheating meals. Additionally, it can save money on food lost from burning or overcooking, as the precise temperature control reduces the risk of food waste.
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Cleaning traditional stock pots and stoves could be a hassle. For a simple spaghetti dinner, you'll need three pots: one to boil water, brown meat, and simmer sauce. These pots are bulky and inconvenient; they need frequent washings in the dishwasher and contribute to a messy and unorganized work environment.
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The equal heat distribution in Automatic Kettle ensures that foods are always perfectly cooked. The steam kettle is a lifesaver for fragile foods that go bad fast since it eliminates the need to stir or combine. Moreover, the steam kettle is designed with safety in mind. It has a built-in pressure release valve and a secure lid, preventing accidents and ensuring a safe cooking environment.
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Dispose of the scrape and scrub from dirty pans. View this video for a concise demonstration of the 300L mixing kettle's simple, fast, and hygienic cleaning process. In just a few minutes, one crew member is ready to start on their next batch.
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submitted by usedsteamkettles to u/usedsteamkettles [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:04 OrlonDogger A Witch at Midnight - Chapter 13

[First] [Previous] [Next]
Minutes feel like entire hours while I wait for GalaxyTaco to return, and my anxiety is just mounting up like crazy! So instead of becoming a victim of my own fear, I decide to take a moment to explore the forum and see what I can find that's interesting!

The Sleeper section is by far the most active, with people commenting on their daily lives, talking about media, food and experiences in general. It’s so casual it almost makes me feel nostalgic for the good ol’ days!

I am… surprised. Mages watch anime too? I guess that makes sense, as magic is usually viewed as an intellectual endeavor, and it is not rare for intellectuals to have this sorta hobby.

They even have an old timer section, for old timers like you.

What? Old timer!? I am 21!

Alright then, youngster. What anime is popular right now?

Chlorine is pretty popular!

That’s one of the Big Three and won’t stop being popular for a while, not to mention it’s all filler these days, that’s cheating.

Alright then, big baby. How about Soul Devourer?

That ended three years ago.

What!? No it didn’t!

What about Ouran??

Five years ago.

Higurashi?

Six.

Lucky Channel?!

Five.”

MEDUKA MEGUKA??

Oh that one’s pretty new actually. That one was last year.

Alright then smart guy, what is airing right now then!?

Destiny/Zero, Girls and Tanks, Kitty Tale Black, Moon Brothers…

What in the hell are any of those!?

If you don’t know, I know even less! Idiot!

I guess I am a bit of an old fashioned weeb.

We are getting distracted. Remember what we are here for.

Right! The Translation section! It’s rather unused, compared to the Sleeper side of it all. There are a few active translation topics but all of them seem to be focused on actual, current languages. Sure, there are a few in old Helenian and Latin but the others are surprisingly modern. Thereare some in Wohlian that immediately get my attention, but they seem like finished works.

Mostly directed by that ‘souseiseki’ bitch.

Don’t waste time thinking of her. Focus on what you can learn from the books themselves!

That is a good point. Once they are fully translated, the material is left available for anyone to take it! So I immediately go for the ones in Wohlian and Dobrand.

There are only five texts available, biographies all of them… except for what looks like a flier.

‘El Arte del Contrahechizo’ it read in Hesperian, ‘The Art of Counterspell’ in Dobrand. It apparently was an advertisement for a short lived ‘Combat Spell Course’ in Hesperia? Closed by the ‘Brotherhood’ for ‘breaking the sanctity of the secret’. Maybe this ‘Brotherhood’ is somewhat related to the cloaks.

Nevertheless, there is something in the flier that interests me: a Symbol!
Rune 6
I immediately start looking for it in the book… and what I find was overwhelming. This has to be the single most used symbol I’ve seen so far! It is in a lot of combined words, almost never on its own… but after keeping my eyes narrowed for a while, I find it.

Jo

As in “Hoh” or as in “Yo”? Bah, I guess I’ll find that out later, when I can actually start experimenting on my own.

Ah, damn it that’s right! I do need to go investigate the library! It’s huge too…

Hmm… What if I made a trip out of it?

The library closes at 12 for students, but if you stay inside you can spend the night working there! I could spend all night surrounded by books, coffee and the sandwiches some people sell there…

That could mess with your sleeping schedule a bit…

Not to mention how useless the whole endeavor can be. What if you don’t find the damn golden symbol, huh?

Won’t know if I try. This will be my last night staying up, I promise!

Hmmmn… well, if you are sure about it.

Yes!

Feeling energy surging through my body again, I immediately get up again and look for clothes, fishing for some cash and then trotting out of my room… only to be stopped by that Saints damned door again.

I swear, every time I see it’s worse. It becomes more and more ominous with each attempt to pass through it. I really, really have been going out too much these days, huh…?

“...I better talk with GalaxyTaco first, then I can go to the library.”

Coward.

“I can’t talk to them without the TER anyways.”

Walking back to the computer, I internally beg for GalaxyTaco to not have appeared on my contact list yet… but alas, fate is always working against me. There he is, right there. Well, at least I can solve this quickly and still get out in time… Maybe.

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx has begun messaging GalaxyTaco to your rescue!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: H-Hey!

I immediately cringe at myself for that written hesitation. Damn it, keep the emotions inside! Why must I be like this!?

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: This is Tav, you know, from the forum? n.ñ
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: oh hey dude! nice, I was wondering who the hell was this lol
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, now we can talk proper.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: so… you just found the link somewhere, didn’t you?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: unless I’m totally wrong and you were just referred by some cold mf

Alright. This is it… where do I go from here? I can’t exactly lie my way out of this without knowing much of the magical world. But that doesn’t mean I have to say all of the truth, right?

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: …yeah u.u
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I haven’t been Awake for a long time to be honest, and I found this link on a book I read at the local library.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ahhhh shit.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, that’s trouble
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: do you have a teacher?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No u.u
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, you’re a bastard
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not to imply anything about your family dude, that’s just how we call mages without teachers.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok that’s kinda mean xD
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: tell me about it.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: anyways, shit, uh…
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, do you know what an Elysium is?

I don’t. But can I just admit that? I mean… maybe I can tell him I know where to look for it?

What are you, stupid!? He’s assuming you know jack shit! This is your chance to squeeze all the information! MILK IT!

A-Ah! Right!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No idea. I hope you don’t mean the other world? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: nope.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: an Elysium is a safeground in a city, a place where mages can go and practice legally.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: shit, I hope you haven’t been doing magic around people right???
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No no! O.o I swear!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok good.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: that’d get you in trouble with the Brotherhood in no time.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: The Brotherhood? o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: The Brotherood of Black Pages.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ominous… are they like, magic police? .-.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: sorta
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: you wanna avoid them as much as you can, them black cloaks.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I mean, you won’t be able to avoid them if you wanna get your license but, beyond that, avoid them.

Ok, that’s confirmation of a few suspicions. The Elysium is a place, I need to find that place, and the black cloaks/brotherhood were bad news, probably super strict or something like that. I am a ‘Bastard Mage’, still not very happy about the name, and I should look for instruction before I blow myself up!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Can’t you teach me things? ;w; the meaning of these runes and stuff?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: sorry dude, I don’t have a teacher’s license
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: but tell you what. I’ll get you something that will help you for sure!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I just gotta talk to a few friends.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh okay! Good! n.n thank you so much for this, Gal
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hah, it’s no problem
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Imma be outside of the TER for a while so, don’t talk to me about magics until I return, okay?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: arite, thanks for the heads up! gives me time to talk to Aoi and Mort
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok I assume those are your friends!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’ll be seeing you later!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx has disconnected.

Alright.

No more excuses. I close my computer, take a deep breath and walk to my door. I try my best to ignore the shaking of my hand as I grab the knob and open up. The air in the hallways outside was cold, making me go back in, pick up my long coat and then right out I went again!

The descent in the elevator had never felt this slow…I am excited and nervous at the same time.

This will be fun!

This will be a disaster. You’ll stay up for nothing, you hear me? Nothing.

Taking a deep breath, I walk out of the elevator as it arrives at the first floor and wave at the night guard, stepping right out and checking my phone.

It’s already a quarter past eleven. I have time… but I may need to call a taxi.


Cities are completely different at night. I have never been an active resident of Party City or anything, but I have been in the streets at the high hours of night, at least back in my old town. I assumed stuff would be quiet here too in Saüle, but turns out I was completely wrong. There were people stumbling around the streets, ladies of the night smiling and parading themselves in some of the corners, a few college students clubbing and singing…

Only now I remember we are technically on vacation. Of course everyone is partying!

Drat, does that mean the library will be closed!?

Too late to ask the cab to take you back home. No, you'll just have to freeze for a few hours.

The taxi leaves me in front of the University’s main entrance. After paying and waving the guy away, I let out a deep sigh of relief when I see that the lights of the place are still on.

So either they leave the lights on all vacation or they are still open despite it all.

I try to jog along the dirt trail, straight for the library! But I quickly realize my body is simply not made for running. I still try to keep the pace, panting and gasping for air. Passing right by the Pharmaceutical Sciences building and the Biology building, feeling lucky that no one can see me fighting for my life like this.

The campus is gigantic, with many different buildings focused on the different sciences and disciplines taught at the University. The Library stands in the middle of it all, a perfectly square, five story building comfortably constructed on a plateau and looking over the entire campus. As cool and impressive as that is, it also meant a long climb a massive set of stairs…

“Saints damn it all…”

It’s a miserable jog, but eventually, I make it to the gates before the Librarian closes. An ancient lady of dark skin and thin white hair, eternally dressed in a black, long dress.

“Hmph. Right on time, night owl.” She says with a mix of annoyance and playfulness in her tone, turning her back on me as soon as she closed the door. “Do not run like that inside.”

Still recovering my breath, I just nod and walk towards the machines that scan your credentials. I fish my wallet out of my pockets, scan my old card, and then walk straight in, looking around the main hall with a tired smile. Ah yes… I've always felt more at ease in libraries and the like, especially when there are no crowds of people around. Right now I could see only a few furtive shadows sliding around, and no sandwich sellers at all! With some luck, the librarian will try to gain a few extra Empires by selling stuff, but that will have to wait.
Right now, we are back on the hunt for the Golden Symbol! I need to focus all of my strength on finding it this time, because if they really want it to be both private and easy to find, it has to be here.
submitted by OrlonDogger to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:52 Status-Ad-8977 GBWhatsApp APK Download (Updated) Latest Version May 2024 (Checked)

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submitted by Status-Ad-8977 to u/Status-Ad-8977 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:51 Urmumgae13 Is my high school life ruined already? (advice needed)

I just got my transcript back and it's bad. Like really bad. I might only pass 4 classes this entire freshman year if I'm lucky. And I'm not even sure about those 4 because I missed so many days that I could automatically fail based on the attendance policy. I need 6 to become a sophomore.
The truth is, I've been struggling hard this year with my self-esteem because of how people treat me over my looks and it's really messed with my mental health. I also got addicted to porn and can't stay off social media which has made it super hard to focus on schoolwork. I'm not trying to make excuses, it's 100% my fault, but that's why I ended up in this slump.
Instead of being honest with my parents and grandma, I lied and pretended everything was fine and I was going to school and doing assignments. I've been so lazy, just laying around not doing shit. I honestly don't think I even have time to finish all the work I've missed and blown off. It's a miracle those 4 classes don't have failing grades already.
I'm scared either way - if I end up failing 9th grade or if I somehow pass. If I fail, I'll have to repeat the whole year which sounds overwhelming af. But if I pass, I'll be so behind going into 10th grade. I really don't want to be that guy who has to do an extra "super senior" year, but I also don't want to be hopelessly behind on credits and classwork.
On top of all that, all my friends are doing so much better than me and it makes me feel like such a loser in comparison. My GPA is barely above a 2.1 right now. Meanwhile, my friend is ranked #1 in our whole grade with a crazy 4.5 GPA and he's basically never missed a day. Seeing him kill it like that just highlights how much I've messed this year up. We started high school together and we even work on assignments together sometimes when I bother showing up, but now I've fallen so far behind while he's excelling. It's low-key embarrassing and I avoid him sometimes because I'm ashamed.
I know I shouldn't compare myself, but it's hard not to when there's such a huge difference in our academic performances. He's setting himself up for great colleges while I'm struggling just to maybe pass 9th grade. I'm honestly happy for my friends succeeding, but I also can't help but feel like an underachieving failure compared to them.
This whole situation is just such a mess that I created for myself. I honestly don't know what's worse - having to completely redo freshman year or trying to cram and make up every single assignment over the summer to avoid that. Either way, it's going to be an insanely difficult road ahead.
I'm terrified to face the consequences of lying and screwing up so badly. But I know I have to come clean before it's too late to get the help and support I need from family, teachers, counselors. I just hope I can make them understand how I spiraled and that I actually do want to get my shit together, even though I massively screwed up this whole year.
I don't even know how to handle that on top of eventually confessing to my family about lying to them all year long. This whole thing is just an overwhelming low point that I need to dig myself out of. I just hope I can get the support I need without everyone judging the hell out of me. Has anyone been in a messed up situation like this before? Any advice is appreciated.
submitted by Urmumgae13 to school [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:44 damikki100 Unresolved Evercade-EXP issue

Dear Evercade Customer Support Team,
I am writing to formally express my frustration and disappointment regarding a persistent issue with my Evercade EXP handheld console. Since early October of last year, I have repeatedly reported a problem where the internal speakers continue to play sound even when headphones are plugged in. In addition to logging several bug reports via your bug reporting page, I have posted the issue many times on Discord, Reddit and I have also sent several emails but despite multiple updates released for the console, this specific issue has not been addressed or resolved.
The continuous sound output from the internal speakers while using headphones significantly diminishes the usability and enjoyment of the Evercade EXP. This problem is particularly inconvenient in public or quiet environments where I rely on headphones for private listening, such as gaming on the sofa whilst my wife is watching TV or whilst playing in bed at night. Because of this, I am still forced to use the original Evercade handheld in these situations, instead of using my black founders EXP.
I have installed all available updates/patches provided by Blaze Entertainment. While I appreciate the efforts to improve the overall performance, add features and fix other bugs, the issue with the headphone audio still remains unaddressed. This is a critical function for any handheld gaming device, and the lack of a proper fix for so long is greatly disappointing.
Given the importance of this feature, I request that Blaze Entertainment prioritise a solution to this issue. A prompt and effective software update to ensure the internal speakers mute automatically (and stay muted) when headphones are connected is necessary. Additionally, clear communication regarding the status and expected timeline for this fix would be greatly appreciated.
As a dedicated player of Evercade since the beginning, I believe in the potential of the Evercade-EXP despite being unable to play it due to the above issue. Therefore, I trust that you will take immediate action to resolve this problem and restore player confidence in your products.
I look forward to your timely response and a satisfactory resolution to this matter.
Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
DaMikki
submitted by damikki100 to evercade [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:29 Educational_Relief44 A good total war Warhammer "road map" in my opinion that may check most people's boxes.

For those of you with no patience to read
After releasing two more dlc in the style they did thrones of decay with patches afterwards.
  1. Add cinematics and opening speeches.
  2. Change end times
  3. Create lore filled victory conditions that combine with the unique item battles to give purpose and story to the campaigns.
  4. Unique turotorials for factions.
  5. Add read alongs to the lore page in the faction selection menu
So I am on reddit alot reading a lot like most of us here, Outside of some of your "extra curriculur activities" that some of you may have that is. I think it's clear for us here that play wh3, it's easy to say that we all have a ton of opinions that would make wh3 better.
Let me also say. We will never all agree and there is always room to improve just about anything in life let alone games.
With that being said. I a long time gamer at this point do not expect anything to be released perfectly. Most games that drop now a days that aren't small time indie games. Have bugs and fixes that need to be done. So I think this last dlc CA dropped was wonderful. It is obvious that to get the right touch they need us, the players to let them know what's going on after a release. So I think they are headed in the right direction currently.
Anyways. I think if they drop two more dlc similar to the last one. Then there updates for the bug fixes and slight balance changes. I think a lot of us would be happy.
With that being said. I think that before dropping the rest of the dlc's after (like nagash and such) that maybe it would be best to focus on some other things in the process. But not needing to be in this particular order btw.
  1. Hit us with cinematics and opening speeches for all the factions. Bring that back. Not just the factions being touched in the dlc's.
  2. Change the end game scenario situation. I understand the point of the end game scenarios is to make it less "steam rolly" and throw in a nice curve ball allt you. For me it does just that. But most the time I don't play with it on. From reading most of your post. It seems others have thoughts of them being meaningful. So like most things in life, the best things have real purpose. Most players enjoy games that immerse them and give them depth. So I think adding true purpose in the end game scenarios would be great for most of us. Maybe instead of just boom spam doom stack, it be boom give a few stacks to order or to chaos, make them allies and bring on a tide.
This may however not make sense for some factions who usually stay independent like green skins, even tho in the lore technically Grimgor was working for the good guys. But it was for his own purpose. Now this particular category I feel like I really don't have too many ideas for. But if it were to be a focus and some polls were to be released on the matter. I think it would settle down the community a little, for those that are getting "bored" of the current situation.
  1. Since wh3 is the largest total war I believe to date with the most playable factions, that also have the most unique variety compared to any other total war game. I think a very ambitious thing to do. Would be to then go back to every factions, and completely change the Victory conditions. Not only change them. But give them a very great lore specific goals. If they take victory conditions, and there current unique battles (the ones that you normally obtain your lord items with) and bring them together. I think we can give every faction it's own little immersive lore filled story.
The trick how ever is to make it so the AI controlled factions don't become predictable from this situation. Which for that idk how it would go. But you don't want players to be able to predict, oh I know Vlad is going to try and aim for this because that's part of his victory condition, Because maybe that makes the game easier? Or maybe you do add it because then you have a strategy to focus on with the people who start around you. I feel like automatically giving the AI there unique weapons even at a specific level point is meh by the way.
But imagine if you will that along your usual conquest, you have goals. That not just unlock items like we currently have, but also faction based rewards like how they do with skarsnik, queek, and belegar. I think making it so the battles can't be teleported too (this I am unsure of), and make them go along with your victory conditions. Could be great. Imagine your playing belegar you take eight peaks and a nice speech happens and you claim that condition properly. Basically instead of it feeling like an instant royal rumble we bring it all together to give an amazing lore filled mini objective based campaign. Not that your stuck doing it btw. If you still want to conquer in another direction by all means. Hell maybe make rumble mode its own mode. So basically it turns off all that stuff, victory conditions and all, at the menu you check off a box and you just load up and go straight to conquering. But for the rest of us, and I'll boldly say most of us. It feels Grindy and too simple for what Warhammer has to offer.
This can be applied to faction based mechanics as well. Grudge books, elector count system, even triggering waaaaghs. Anyways for those who have played Warhammer battle march, you'll see that a game like total war could greatly benefit from some good lore filled objectives. I however do not think it would be wise to do it in the same way and make it more linear like battlemarch.
  1. I thought why not have little intro for the factions, kind of like the tutorial. Which btw I love that they did give us a nice tutorial in this game. Without giving the player a running start and expand your territory in the beginning of a campaign, instead make it it's own thing. Example, you load up Karl Franz (stupid umie), his amazing cinematic plays then he says some really great speech when you get on the map (referencing 1.) and instead of just that first initial battle with the initial enemy. It's more like "zoomed in" on the map, so like the tutorial is not going to shape the map at all. It's just a quick this is who Franz is and how this faction plays sort of deal. A little lore, a little lord how to guide, a little faction how to guide. Maybe make it skipable? Or make it a box you check before loading up if you want to play it, have it start before the cinematic and speech. But the current tutorial is more battle specific. This would give each faction a more interactive guide not just a here read this, and give you a nice little story. Not to mention it can feel like it unlocks the faction and it's mechanic.
  2. When your looking at a faction you have three tabs. The Lord details and such, the starting position and the little lore page. I would love that you could click a button and the character or maybe the old man thats been in the three titles reads the lore for us. A simple nice gesture for ca. This is not just for the lazy people who don't want to read, because I how ever did read them all. I even read them to friends when I am talking to people about Warhammer fantasy. But I am sure a lot of us would love to just be able to sit back and listen.
I think that adding 1 through 4 will change how dlc is released because obviously they have to add these things as well like the cinematics and stuff. But it will make that dlc feel less like oh here is just another faction obstacle for my campaign. Just more map clutter.
If they ever released a total war: Warhammer 4. One thing they could for sure do is fill out the map more. Like does anyone imagine how beautiful the forest was in wh1 wood elves dlc campaign? Imagine if the whole map was zoomed in, with its entire map. Then obviously they can add the small factions in that might not have enough lore or units to make them playable. But they can ty into other people's victory conditions. And be apart of faction stories during the tutorials and unique battles and such.
submitted by Educational_Relief44 to totalwar [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:01 iamananachronism Blue cross blue shield focus - nicu, helicopter, ambulance, tons of testing

We took our 4 day old to the general emergency room where he received X-rays, ct scan and blood testing. Findings on X-rays prompted medical emergency evacuation to children’s national hospital via ambulance ride to a helicopter. the helicopter ride was about 7 min ride to children’s. He needed emergency abdominal surgery and will need to stay in the NICU for at least a week minimum. He has received more X-rays , ct scans, eeg, sonograms, blood transfusion, had to go on a ventilator, probably 20 different kinds of tests, so on.
We have the bcbs focus plan and I’ve been reading in this thread that it sucks for things like this. We picked focus because we cannot afford the basic but if only we knew this would happen after birth..
I’m guessing this bill will probably be at least $500k based off what I’m reading online.
Our OOP family max is $18k and individual is $9k. Is that how much we would pay after paying 30% of the bills ? Or do we pay 30% of the bills UP TO those amounts ?
I’m already thinking about committing financial suicide and filing bankruptcy ugh
submitted by iamananachronism to fednews [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 12:49 Jyeith17 A childhood adventure:a beach, family and a rescue

A childhood adventure:a beach, family and a rescue
The sun was shining brightly as my family and I arrived at the beautiful Baler Aurora beach. I remember feeling the excitement inside me as I ran towards the water to splash and play in the waves. The sound of laughter made the day perfect, with every family member present and enjoying the moment.
However, the perfect day took a sudden turn when I found myself struggling in the water, the waves pulling me under. I panicked as I fought to stay afloat, but just as I felt myself losing strength, a watchful lifeguard appeared, swiftly pulling me to safety. I will never forget the feeling of relief and gratitude as I lay on the shore, surrounded by my worried family.
That day at Baler Aurora beach taught me the importance of water safety and the preciousness of family togetherness. It was a reminder to cherish every moment and to be thankful for the eyes that keep us safe, even in the middle of joy and excitement.
submitted by Jyeith17 to 11stgcnf [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 12:36 AnchorPointsOfficial Anchor Points: Age of Heroes Chapter 9 - Entropy

CHAPTER 9 – ENTROPY
DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you generally keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough."
"I appreciate that, and I will definitely lean on your experience whenever possible. However, you didn't really answer my question... Why aren't you a captain anymore?"
"I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her out of there, I'll send the cavalry."
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I thought I was going to die in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she ultimately was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, between the technical issues with the lights going out, losing power to workstations, or the constant antimatter threat. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are continuing the mission without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, and only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed.
Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, and proceeded to kiss her neck and nibble on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out as she melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and then with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over her bra.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them. Just be happy I already took care of the issue, alright?” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, man have I wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s just one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me, Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes.
Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real or all in my head. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normalized it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided.
Better to have the electrical inspection ordered up, too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief could handle it from there.
MEANWHILE…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, I just hope the meds kick in soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels actively malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.
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2024.05.15 12:27 Life_Organization_63 Using "would" is lazy writing

This morning I read about roleplay pet peeves, and then I stumbled upon someone's pet peeve about using the word "would" as in indication that the emote can be interrupted. I'm going to expand upon that idea.
An example of an interruptible emote would be /e would punch Charlie in the ribs.
The reason I say this is lazy writing, is because if you simply take the word "would" away, it makes the sentence non-interruptible. It is used as a filler word to automatically fix the problem. Like a band-aid.
/e punches Charlie in the ribs.
Below are better alternatives to the word "would" and makes the emote interruptible: "attempts to" "tries to" "aims to" "in the hopes that"
So if you want to punch Charlie in the ribs, the emote could be written out as follows: /e swings his fist towards Charlie, hoping to make a solid connection with their ribcage.
Generally speaking, you only need to use these "permission based" emotes, where permission is needed as it may have an IC consequence for the other character or where there may be a higher degree of failure or rejection.
For example, if you want to throw the apple don't say: /e would throw the apple in the air
You can simply say: /e throws the apple in the air
If you want to turn into a "permission / risk of failure emote" you can say: /e throws the apple in the air, carefully watching it as it falls down, hoping to catch it.
This allows "Yes and" to occur, and then the RP can continue: /e tries to trip Errol while he is concentrating on the apple falling
So when doing an emote with "permission / consent / risk of failure emotes", staying away from the word "would" helps a lot to formulate sentences, instead of starting each /e with the word.
"Would"
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