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2024.05.15 21:46 SavingsSad2382 Completely failed by the medical system, but sucks to suck I guess I just have to live with the permanent consequences (a rant)
So sorry in advance for the long post. I just need to get this out.
TW for talk of suicide and depression
If you’re my partner and you see this - please don’t read this. I promise you are a wonderful support but I know my venting hurts you because you want to fix things and you can’t.
I feel such immense grief and rage. I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I’ll start at the start of this “health journey”. When I was 16, I became incredibly ill. I was vomiting all the time, exhausted to the point of sleeping 14 hours a day from the time I got home from school til just before I had to leave for the bus. I don’t remember much from this time period because of the brain fog and genuinely don’t know how I passed my classes. I was gaining a lot of weight, too, and hadn’t had a menstrual cycle in 6 months, and was so so depressed. My mom ignored the health issues because she thought I was just being dramatic (there is much deeper context with the issues there but it comes down to I am now NC as an adult), but when I said I needed to see a doctor for my depression she did. My then-family doctor was wonderful and listened, and to be safe decided to run some blood tests though I hadn’t described to her my physical symptoms aside from the oversleeping I attributed to depression. I was diagnosed with autoimmune thyroid disease, or Hashimoto’s. I started medication and my symptoms improved though some things, like the weight gain, never reversed.
I ended up going into remission for a time and no longer needed the HRT. But when I was around 20/21, I started having health problems again. I started experiencing numbness and tingling in both my hands and wrists, which I thought was from repetitive movement working as a cashier, though the symptoms only appeared about 6 months into that job and in hindsight it probably isn’t normal to develop that quickly that way. But I ignored it because I didn’t think it was serious as it was “just” carpal tunnel, and began wearing wrist splints regularly. I did not ask my doctor, as during this time I was having difficulties hearing at work and the hearing test I requested came back normal and I was dismissed and I didn’t want to reinforce the belief I have unreasonable worries about non-issues - later, I learned this was actually an auditory processing issue, which was never brought up by any medical professional I saw as a possible cause.
In 2020, when I was 24, I began experiencing the same autoimmune symptoms I had when I was first sick at the age of 16. I fell asleep at work which had never happened before and it worried me. I went to the ER on recommendation of Telehealth, where the doctor didn’t believe my symptoms and ordered just an EKG that came back normal. He told me I didn’t fall asleep/pass out while actively working, and simply “took a nap” and it’s normal. Follow-up with my GP after was unsuccessful, until I pushed for thyroid testing. I was found to no longer be in remission and put back on HRT, and once again my symptoms improved but did not resolve.
At the same time, and for the year or so that followed, I experienced extreme digestive health issues. I had visible yellowing of the skin, very dark under eye circles, issues with itchy and red patches of skin, and was passing undigested food and eventually became obviously malnourished as a result. I had what seemed to be a kidney stone that passed before I could get in for the ultrasound so it couldn’t be confirmed. I alternated between constipation and diarrhea, and always felt pain. My GP told me it was “probably just IBS” and had me do an elimination diet (twice) that did not work. He dismissed my concerns telling me I’m fine, until I sent a novel of my symptoms and saying I know he thinks I’m a hypochondriac but I am unwell and need to be looked at. The liver tests I pushed for came back normal. He offered to test me for Celiac but advised against it due to the cost of the blood test, so I didn’t. He did, however, refer me for a colonoscopy but the pandemic made this severely delayed. During the wait, I found some relief of my symptoms by cutting out gluten and dairy from my diet, and the yellowing of my skin and dark circles went away as did, eventually, the skin patches my doctor insisted was “just eczema”. I was off of gluten for a full year when I had my colonoscopy in fall 2022, the results came back normal and that doctor reiterated that it is “probably just IBS”. I learned later that I should have been consuming gluten for at least 3 months prior in order for it to be an effective test for Celiac, and my doctor failed to tell me this.
In early 2022, the joint pain had become frequent enough and painful enough in the knuckles where my hands meet my fingers, and in my wrists with definite carpal tunnel in both wrists as well, that I went to my GP. However, he is busy, and it’s often easier to book an appt with his assistant who is able to assess many conditions. At this time I also believed he would be more likely to listen and take me seriously. I went to the appt, described the nerve and joint pain issues. I had an exam where he confirmed bilateral carpal tunnel and arthritis in my hands. He said no testing was needed. I pushed back, stating that I am only 25 and there is no normal reason for the inflammation, and I have Hashimoto’s which has very high comorbidity with RA and I was concerned due to the fact the inflammation was symmetrical. I was dismissed, told the only test that could be done is an x-ray which was pointless as all it would do is confirm the presence of arthritis which he already confirmed with the exam. He told me to keep wearing wrist splints, keep taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen for the inflammation and pain, told me taking them was risk-free, and told me to come back when the redness and swelling of my joints got worse. I didn’t feel comfortable going to my GP for fear of being marked further as a problem patient, and assumed he would tell me the same information his assistant had based on my experiences with him and the fact his assistant is his staff that sees many of his patients.
My depression worsened during these years, coming to a head in early 2023 when I attempted. I did not succeed due to a mistake I made, fortunately. I was hospitalized for a time, where I was finally officially diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD. And for the first time, a doctor asked if I suspected I’m neurodivergent. I was assessed and diagnosed with ADHD, which explained a significant amount of non-health related issues, though it also explained some like my KP and teenage cystic acne as they are common comorbidities. It’s important to note that I have a younger sibling that was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I was viewed as the “normal” child and any issues were dismissed as my sibling had higher support needs and was the priority and I was always viewed as simply being overdramatic and wanting attention. I was told the cause of my depression was trauma, including childhood trauma, as well as 26 years of undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD I had been forced to deal with on my own. I was told I had done the best I could but they were not surprised it reached the point it did, as sadly the mental health system in Ontario is not what it should be and often people do not receive help until they’re long past the point of needing it. And for many, it’s too late. I am fortunate that it wasn’t too late for me, I’m fortunate I survived.
Prior to my stay at the hospital, I had gotten to the point of needing to take ibuprofen daily for the inflammation. When disclosing my medical history and medications, I was asked if I had received a formal diagnosis for my arthritis and what tests had been performed. I told them I had been assessed for and diagnosed with arthritis, but that no tests were performed. It was clear they did not believe me, and I wasn’t provided ibuprofen during my stay. They did not follow-up with my GP regarding the arthritis either, though to be fair I was in the psych ward and non urgent physical ailments were not their concern.
Now we get to 2024. It’s a jump, but I don’t feel anything between is significant. I do not go a day without pain, and havent for 3 months. The pain has now reached every joint in my body, I feel fatigued and foggy, I feel horrible all the time and have had 3 UTIs since February. The last one reached my kidneys rapidly, and coincided with the worst full-body arthritis flare of my life - this was 2 weeks ago. I woke up every 2 hours sobbing in agony because my body and knees in particular were so warm and painful and stiff. For a full day I was unable to get out of bed and ran a low grade fever with chills I assumed were due to the infection but now I’m not so sure. Since then, I have been in constant pain though not as severe as then. My knee and hip pain keep me up at night, and/or wake me up often due to the pain and stiffness. Regardless of my larger joints, my hands and wrists always hurt now. I feel ill in the way I did with my Hashimoto’s. Ibuprofen and acetaminophen aren’t doing anything anymore, and I rely on cannabis for relief which isn’t always suitable. My partner got me a topical ointment that has been incredibly but isn’t affordable enough to be sustainable with how much of it I need in one go, and I need to use it sparingly when I absolutely need it. Despite not feeling that my joints are red and swollen enough to go back (because I see them every day and they look normal because they always look like that), I stuck with my plan to see my GP. I first tried to book in February, but only saw him this week.
I described all the physical symptoms asking about my lower leg/ankle swelling and to have my thyroid levels checked for potential med increase need, and I described my joint issues. He assessed my hands, and told me my knuckles are red and swollen. I’ve realized after in research and really looking at my hands that the top knuckle on one of my fingers has a lump on it, albeit a very small one. He immediately said he is testing me for RA with blood work, and in my research I’ve confirmed the req form is thorough, and also includes urinalysis and an EKG. However he told me for the inflammation marker test to go for it when it’s at its worst, and with my work schedule I can’t, and I’ve waited so long for this I refuse. I’m going for it as soon as I can. I’ve waited so long to be listened to and believed. And as many as half of people with RA test negative on the blood tests so I’ll end up needing imaging tests anyway either way and I want this process to be as fast as possible. Even if it’s not RA, I need them to figure out what’s wrong with me and give me the appropriate treatment. He was alarmed and visibly displeased to hear that I had seen his assistant 2 years ago for an assessment - though I forgot to mention to him that that appointment was also for bilateral carpal tunnel (which I now know is an early sign of RA due to compression of nerves). It wasn’t explicitly stated but it was clear that I should have been tested 2 years ago. And wasn’t.
I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of being sick. I’m just plain tired. I feel so failed by the system that’s supposed to care for us. I’m so frustrated with people insisting that doctors are all-knowing and infallible and if they tell you you’re fine, you are. I’ve been fighting for years to be heard and have only been left to feel like I’m losing my mind and imagining these problems and am just overdramatic after all. I feel vindicated that I was right all along, but it’s too little too late. RA is a progressive disease, and the earlier it’s diagnosed and aggressively treated the better. I’ve had at minimum 2 years of progression that cannot be undone. The damage can’t be reversed. I am angry and devastated. The grief is so f*king immense.
I’m 27. I don’t know what my future looks like anymore and that scares me. I’m worried about the damage this disease has done to my internal organs. I worry having kids is no longer an option for me, due to my health. I worry that my physical capabilities will continue to deteriorate. I am so angry that I’ve been written off as an anxious hypochondriac when I knew something was wrong.
Diagnosis of an autoimmune disease or any illness really, apparently doesn’t negate medical misogyny and ageism. Advocating for yourself doesn’t go anywhere when you’ve been labelled crazy and a problem patient. The most it’s gotten me is my doctor “offering” to send my files if I wanted to switch to a different GP, which I can’t with the GP shortage. I have to live with the lifelong consequences of doctors failing me. And it f*king sucks.
submitted by SavingsSad2382 to ChronicPain [link] [comments]
TW for talk of suicide and depression
If you’re my partner and you see this - please don’t read this. I promise you are a wonderful support but I know my venting hurts you because you want to fix things and you can’t.
I feel such immense grief and rage. I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I’ll start at the start of this “health journey”. When I was 16, I became incredibly ill. I was vomiting all the time, exhausted to the point of sleeping 14 hours a day from the time I got home from school til just before I had to leave for the bus. I don’t remember much from this time period because of the brain fog and genuinely don’t know how I passed my classes. I was gaining a lot of weight, too, and hadn’t had a menstrual cycle in 6 months, and was so so depressed. My mom ignored the health issues because she thought I was just being dramatic (there is much deeper context with the issues there but it comes down to I am now NC as an adult), but when I said I needed to see a doctor for my depression she did. My then-family doctor was wonderful and listened, and to be safe decided to run some blood tests though I hadn’t described to her my physical symptoms aside from the oversleeping I attributed to depression. I was diagnosed with autoimmune thyroid disease, or Hashimoto’s. I started medication and my symptoms improved though some things, like the weight gain, never reversed.
I ended up going into remission for a time and no longer needed the HRT. But when I was around 20/21, I started having health problems again. I started experiencing numbness and tingling in both my hands and wrists, which I thought was from repetitive movement working as a cashier, though the symptoms only appeared about 6 months into that job and in hindsight it probably isn’t normal to develop that quickly that way. But I ignored it because I didn’t think it was serious as it was “just” carpal tunnel, and began wearing wrist splints regularly. I did not ask my doctor, as during this time I was having difficulties hearing at work and the hearing test I requested came back normal and I was dismissed and I didn’t want to reinforce the belief I have unreasonable worries about non-issues - later, I learned this was actually an auditory processing issue, which was never brought up by any medical professional I saw as a possible cause.
In 2020, when I was 24, I began experiencing the same autoimmune symptoms I had when I was first sick at the age of 16. I fell asleep at work which had never happened before and it worried me. I went to the ER on recommendation of Telehealth, where the doctor didn’t believe my symptoms and ordered just an EKG that came back normal. He told me I didn’t fall asleep/pass out while actively working, and simply “took a nap” and it’s normal. Follow-up with my GP after was unsuccessful, until I pushed for thyroid testing. I was found to no longer be in remission and put back on HRT, and once again my symptoms improved but did not resolve.
At the same time, and for the year or so that followed, I experienced extreme digestive health issues. I had visible yellowing of the skin, very dark under eye circles, issues with itchy and red patches of skin, and was passing undigested food and eventually became obviously malnourished as a result. I had what seemed to be a kidney stone that passed before I could get in for the ultrasound so it couldn’t be confirmed. I alternated between constipation and diarrhea, and always felt pain. My GP told me it was “probably just IBS” and had me do an elimination diet (twice) that did not work. He dismissed my concerns telling me I’m fine, until I sent a novel of my symptoms and saying I know he thinks I’m a hypochondriac but I am unwell and need to be looked at. The liver tests I pushed for came back normal. He offered to test me for Celiac but advised against it due to the cost of the blood test, so I didn’t. He did, however, refer me for a colonoscopy but the pandemic made this severely delayed. During the wait, I found some relief of my symptoms by cutting out gluten and dairy from my diet, and the yellowing of my skin and dark circles went away as did, eventually, the skin patches my doctor insisted was “just eczema”. I was off of gluten for a full year when I had my colonoscopy in fall 2022, the results came back normal and that doctor reiterated that it is “probably just IBS”. I learned later that I should have been consuming gluten for at least 3 months prior in order for it to be an effective test for Celiac, and my doctor failed to tell me this.
In early 2022, the joint pain had become frequent enough and painful enough in the knuckles where my hands meet my fingers, and in my wrists with definite carpal tunnel in both wrists as well, that I went to my GP. However, he is busy, and it’s often easier to book an appt with his assistant who is able to assess many conditions. At this time I also believed he would be more likely to listen and take me seriously. I went to the appt, described the nerve and joint pain issues. I had an exam where he confirmed bilateral carpal tunnel and arthritis in my hands. He said no testing was needed. I pushed back, stating that I am only 25 and there is no normal reason for the inflammation, and I have Hashimoto’s which has very high comorbidity with RA and I was concerned due to the fact the inflammation was symmetrical. I was dismissed, told the only test that could be done is an x-ray which was pointless as all it would do is confirm the presence of arthritis which he already confirmed with the exam. He told me to keep wearing wrist splints, keep taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen for the inflammation and pain, told me taking them was risk-free, and told me to come back when the redness and swelling of my joints got worse. I didn’t feel comfortable going to my GP for fear of being marked further as a problem patient, and assumed he would tell me the same information his assistant had based on my experiences with him and the fact his assistant is his staff that sees many of his patients.
My depression worsened during these years, coming to a head in early 2023 when I attempted. I did not succeed due to a mistake I made, fortunately. I was hospitalized for a time, where I was finally officially diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD. And for the first time, a doctor asked if I suspected I’m neurodivergent. I was assessed and diagnosed with ADHD, which explained a significant amount of non-health related issues, though it also explained some like my KP and teenage cystic acne as they are common comorbidities. It’s important to note that I have a younger sibling that was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I was viewed as the “normal” child and any issues were dismissed as my sibling had higher support needs and was the priority and I was always viewed as simply being overdramatic and wanting attention. I was told the cause of my depression was trauma, including childhood trauma, as well as 26 years of undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD I had been forced to deal with on my own. I was told I had done the best I could but they were not surprised it reached the point it did, as sadly the mental health system in Ontario is not what it should be and often people do not receive help until they’re long past the point of needing it. And for many, it’s too late. I am fortunate that it wasn’t too late for me, I’m fortunate I survived.
Prior to my stay at the hospital, I had gotten to the point of needing to take ibuprofen daily for the inflammation. When disclosing my medical history and medications, I was asked if I had received a formal diagnosis for my arthritis and what tests had been performed. I told them I had been assessed for and diagnosed with arthritis, but that no tests were performed. It was clear they did not believe me, and I wasn’t provided ibuprofen during my stay. They did not follow-up with my GP regarding the arthritis either, though to be fair I was in the psych ward and non urgent physical ailments were not their concern.
Now we get to 2024. It’s a jump, but I don’t feel anything between is significant. I do not go a day without pain, and havent for 3 months. The pain has now reached every joint in my body, I feel fatigued and foggy, I feel horrible all the time and have had 3 UTIs since February. The last one reached my kidneys rapidly, and coincided with the worst full-body arthritis flare of my life - this was 2 weeks ago. I woke up every 2 hours sobbing in agony because my body and knees in particular were so warm and painful and stiff. For a full day I was unable to get out of bed and ran a low grade fever with chills I assumed were due to the infection but now I’m not so sure. Since then, I have been in constant pain though not as severe as then. My knee and hip pain keep me up at night, and/or wake me up often due to the pain and stiffness. Regardless of my larger joints, my hands and wrists always hurt now. I feel ill in the way I did with my Hashimoto’s. Ibuprofen and acetaminophen aren’t doing anything anymore, and I rely on cannabis for relief which isn’t always suitable. My partner got me a topical ointment that has been incredibly but isn’t affordable enough to be sustainable with how much of it I need in one go, and I need to use it sparingly when I absolutely need it. Despite not feeling that my joints are red and swollen enough to go back (because I see them every day and they look normal because they always look like that), I stuck with my plan to see my GP. I first tried to book in February, but only saw him this week.
I described all the physical symptoms asking about my lower leg/ankle swelling and to have my thyroid levels checked for potential med increase need, and I described my joint issues. He assessed my hands, and told me my knuckles are red and swollen. I’ve realized after in research and really looking at my hands that the top knuckle on one of my fingers has a lump on it, albeit a very small one. He immediately said he is testing me for RA with blood work, and in my research I’ve confirmed the req form is thorough, and also includes urinalysis and an EKG. However he told me for the inflammation marker test to go for it when it’s at its worst, and with my work schedule I can’t, and I’ve waited so long for this I refuse. I’m going for it as soon as I can. I’ve waited so long to be listened to and believed. And as many as half of people with RA test negative on the blood tests so I’ll end up needing imaging tests anyway either way and I want this process to be as fast as possible. Even if it’s not RA, I need them to figure out what’s wrong with me and give me the appropriate treatment. He was alarmed and visibly displeased to hear that I had seen his assistant 2 years ago for an assessment - though I forgot to mention to him that that appointment was also for bilateral carpal tunnel (which I now know is an early sign of RA due to compression of nerves). It wasn’t explicitly stated but it was clear that I should have been tested 2 years ago. And wasn’t.
I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of being sick. I’m just plain tired. I feel so failed by the system that’s supposed to care for us. I’m so frustrated with people insisting that doctors are all-knowing and infallible and if they tell you you’re fine, you are. I’ve been fighting for years to be heard and have only been left to feel like I’m losing my mind and imagining these problems and am just overdramatic after all. I feel vindicated that I was right all along, but it’s too little too late. RA is a progressive disease, and the earlier it’s diagnosed and aggressively treated the better. I’ve had at minimum 2 years of progression that cannot be undone. The damage can’t be reversed. I am angry and devastated. The grief is so f*king immense.
I’m 27. I don’t know what my future looks like anymore and that scares me. I’m worried about the damage this disease has done to my internal organs. I worry having kids is no longer an option for me, due to my health. I worry that my physical capabilities will continue to deteriorate. I am so angry that I’ve been written off as an anxious hypochondriac when I knew something was wrong.
Diagnosis of an autoimmune disease or any illness really, apparently doesn’t negate medical misogyny and ageism. Advocating for yourself doesn’t go anywhere when you’ve been labelled crazy and a problem patient. The most it’s gotten me is my doctor “offering” to send my files if I wanted to switch to a different GP, which I can’t with the GP shortage. I have to live with the lifelong consequences of doctors failing me. And it f*king sucks.
2024.05.15 20:36 SenlanZWH T1 vs TL Hupu Rating and Comments
I'm going to try to translate those top comment from Hupu for MSI, I might skip some of them as they are Chinese internet memes that I've no idea how to translate, and those comment related to Honor of Kings, a popular league like mobile game made by Tencent.
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 86k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link
Team Liquid
Team Liquid
Team Liquid
Team Liquid
submitted by SenlanZWH to leagueoflegends [link] [comments]
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 86k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link
MATCH 1: T1 vs. TL
T1| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Zeus Camille | 7.6 | Broke into an army of a hundred legions, cut off the general's head, and did it as easily as picking something from his own pocket. (Romance of the Three Kingdom, Chapter 25.) |
| Oner Poppy | 7.2 | Guys, my head is a bit itchy. (I think this is referencing a Chinese meme about head itchy means growing brain.) |
| Faker Taliyah | 8.6 | Not only all of the league bloggers and your fan/hater bloggers have been feeding off you for the past 10 years, the four "genius" and a championship coach is also feeding off you. You must be exhausted. |
| Gumayusi Senna | 7.4 | So, are you picking Senna because your support doesn't like to ward? |
| Keria Ornn | 6.3 | Ram passed. (This in Chinese is 羊过, sounds the same as had Covid, suggestion he is still having long Covid symptoms.) |
| KkOma | 4.2 | I want to flame you even if you guys won, this comp, if they don't make any mistakes you guys can't do anything, if Old Guy(Faker) don't carry you don't have any damage. Thought you come back to solidify your GOAT coach position, instead you are just coming back to leech. |
| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Impact K'Sante | 8.5 | SKT legendary top laner Impact ready to come back! |
| UmTi Xin Zhao | 2.4 | Former worst jungler in LCK. |
| APA Aurelion Sol | 2.5 | oto. (Referencing Otto, the mid laner just got banned from streaming and Old Guy Cup for flaming, also known for been bad.) |
| Yeon Kalista | 3.4 | I'm farm when my teammates are fighting, I'll emote after I cast abilities. |
| CoreJJ Alistar | 3.0 | I was eating noodles, and saw your flash kowtow, noodle just flew out of my nose. (kowtow is Chinese nickname for Alistar Q, often used when it misses.) |
| Spawn | 3.3 | I firmly believe a team that could be 3:0 by TES should not ever appear on an international stage. |
MATCH 2: T1 vs. TL
T1| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Zeus Vayne | 4.4 | The only bright side is your KDA, you are either farming or trolling this game. |
| Oner Jarvan IV | 2.7 | To think that one of the two team playing this game today will win just makes me uncomfortable. |
| Faker Ahri | 9.2 | They need to rely on you against TL, sad. |
| Gumayusi Varus | 8.3 | You and old Lee holding this T1 together, but this MSI I don't see any hope. (Lee is Faker's Last name). |
| Keria Kalista | 3.4 | I've been thinking, is the reason Guma's priority in the team is low because you want to have fun. |
| KkOma | 2.8 | You should just pick Lucian jungle and remake. (Uzi Reference.) |
| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Impact K'Sante | 7.2 | Thought you are safe just building armor with 3 ad? Guess again, the only damage dealer was your old teammate. |
| UmTi Lee Sin | 2.3 | You know what, you reminded me of when I first started playing league. |
| APA Taliyah | 4.1 | One American can't win against nine Koreans. |
| Yeon Samira | 9.6 | Only one knows how to play league in your team. |
| CoreJJ Nautilus | 2.3 | Patriot! |
| Spawn | 5.4 | Cover up the name plates I thought this is LGD vs RA. |
MATCH 3: T1 vs. TL
T1| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Zeus Vayne | 3.0 | Wow, you just invented a new style of Vayne, the fly style, going around annoy people, and just got splatted on the wall, like a fly. |
| Oner Sejuani | 2.7 | Got gapped by a team that got 3:0 by TES, and the fans were dreaming about a miracle run? |
| Faker Corki | 2.9 | Are you considering to join the Old Guy Cup? |
| Gumayusi Varus | 8.5 | You played well, please use your autos on your teammates when you get off the stage. |
| Keria Rell | 2.6 | T1 Esport club transfer announcement: After discussion with the player, the club will respect player's will, as of today, T1 league of legend esport club's support player Ryu "Keria" Min-seok will no longer be part of the organization and join Le Crazy Horse de Paris. |
| KkOma | 2.7 | Why did you ban Lucian and Senna, just ban Naut and Taliyah. Why don't you ban head lock champion like Naut when you have Varus? |
| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Impact K'Sante | 9.6 | What champion are you? S3 worlds champion. |
| UmTi Rek'Sai | 9.1 | Even NA can win a game against T1, how bad is TES. |
| APA Taliyah | 9.0 | All chat every time you get a kill, if you tilt Keria, you chance of winning just go up 10%. Remember worst policy of all is to besiege walled cities, the best policy is to attach enemy's heart. |
| Yeon Kalista | 9.4 | Its a success if you don't get 3:0 |
| CoreJJ Nautilus | 3.1 | "So good" |
| Spawn | 8.2 | Kenzhu: Guys, I logged on and did this BP. |
MATCH 4: T1 vs. TL
T1| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Zeus Vayne | 5.8 | I thought TL vs T1 would be a quick 3:0 turns out it is a lot closer. I thought the CBA final was going to be a lot closer, they are down 15 points already at end of second half. |
| Oner Poppy | 5.7 | Are you guys playing Arena with TL? |
| Faker Orianna | 9.1 | Finally got Ori, this is going to be a fun game for me. |
| Gumayusi Senna | 6.4 | Am I weaker than them? Kept picking me Senna, a weak laning AD. |
| Keria Ornn | 5.0 | Top plays AD, AD plays support, support plays top. |
| KkOma | 3.8 | Why are you always crossing your arm and not talking, let Faker do all the talking during BP. |
| Player Rating | Top Comment | |
|---|---|---|
| Impact K'Sante | 4.4 | SKT, I don't own you anything anymore. |
| UmTi Lillia | 4.1 | MSI? No. Collegiate League, Yes! |
| APA Ziggs | 4.8 | Brand: Should've picked me. |
| Yeon Kalista | 4.8 | He is clean, he doesn't know anything. |
| CoreJJ Rell | 2.9 | Team Liquid Esport club transfer announcement: After discussion with the player, the club will respect player's will, as of today, T1 league of legend Esport club's support player Jo "CoreJJ" Yong-in will no longer be part of the organization and join Le Crazy Horse de Paris. |
| Spawn | 3.5 | Even BLG bans Ori, you are? |
2024.05.15 18:12 EverythingSunny PSA: Pickpocketing in Act 3
The max DC for a pickpocket attempt is 30. A level 11 rogue with the reliable talent, 22 dex, the graceful cloth, shapeshifter boon ring, smuggler ring, and gloves of power is going to roll a minimum of 10+8 expertise, +7 from stats and +3 from gear and minimum +2 from guidance and mark of the shifter. This comes out to exactly 30. This means you can pickpocket everything with no risk without spending all your goddamn money spinning the wheel for the genie and hoping you get the gloves that gives you +2 to sleight of hand. Even without the house of grief buff, you can only fail if the pickpocket DC says 14, which means you can safely steal almost anything since to fail you need to hit minimum rolls on 4 separate dice rolls. Even if you do fail and get caught, oh well, minus 5 attitude is not an insurmountable challenge to overcome.
My favorite target for all this larceny? The bookseller at Sorcerous Sundries. She usually has plenty of level 6 scrolls. She has a very narrow blindspot where you don't have to do anything clever to be out of line of sight. I cannot stress how much power having almost unlimited access to level 6 scrolls can give you. There's no need to cheese it by refreshing the vendor through level ups, just start every morning with theft in your heart and you will have more than enough.
I don't consider this cheese, the rogue trades combat utility for the best skill utility. The only advantage the rogue has over the bard (skill monkey wise) is the reliable talent, and this is the best way to translate that talent for out-of-combat utility into combat utility.
Other great options include all the other vendors around the lower city ward. I usually end every circuit with a handful of really valuable potions, ingredients, and magic arrows. Having effectively unlimited arrows of many targets can get silly with your arcane acuity items.
submitted by EverythingSunny to BaldursGate3 [link] [comments]
My favorite target for all this larceny? The bookseller at Sorcerous Sundries. She usually has plenty of level 6 scrolls. She has a very narrow blindspot where you don't have to do anything clever to be out of line of sight. I cannot stress how much power having almost unlimited access to level 6 scrolls can give you. There's no need to cheese it by refreshing the vendor through level ups, just start every morning with theft in your heart and you will have more than enough.
I don't consider this cheese, the rogue trades combat utility for the best skill utility. The only advantage the rogue has over the bard (skill monkey wise) is the reliable talent, and this is the best way to translate that talent for out-of-combat utility into combat utility.
Other great options include all the other vendors around the lower city ward. I usually end every circuit with a handful of really valuable potions, ingredients, and magic arrows. Having effectively unlimited arrows of many targets can get silly with your arcane acuity items.
2024.05.15 18:05 -343-Guilty-Spark- Canon Fodder: In-Zane in the Membrane
https://www.halowaypoint.com/news/canon-fodder-in-zane-in-the-membrane
Header Image [Imgur]
It’s not a Cypress Hill song, it’s a new issue of Canon Fodder!
By now, you’ll no doubt have made headway through the latest Operation in Halo Infinite —titled “Banished Honor”—which was accompanied by a new Waypoint Chronicle based around a simple question: “What would the story of a Spartan who joined the Banished be?”
We had the perfect character lined up to tell that story, one who hasn’t been seen since the end of Hunt the Truth's second season all the way back in 2015.
Welcome back, Ilsa Zane.
Where Hunt the Truth saw the mantle of narrator pass from journalist Benjamin Giraud to undercover ONI agent Maya “FERO” Sankar in its second season, that torch is once again passed on to a character who made her presence felt in this story... the rogue Spartan known as Ilsa Zane.
Halo: The Third Life is available here on Halo Waypoint, as a free PDF, and in audiobook format on YouTube.
“October 2558. After being taken prisoner by the Banished as chaos erupts across the galaxy, Ilsa Zane’s hunt for the truth leads her to a new stage of life she never expected...”
So, here you go. Here’s the official cover art for Halo: Empty Throne, coming later this year.
Pre-order your copy of Halo: Empty Throne here!
Cover art of Halo: Empty Throne illustrated by Will Staehle depicting a young girl and a Spartan emerging from a blue explosion coming from a Forerunner structure
“2559. It has been a year since the rogue artificial intelligence Cortana seized control of the Domain, an otherworldly dimension housing a vast information network. With an array of Forerunner weapons at her disposal, Cortana set out to enforce an authoritarian peace on the civilizations of the galaxy. But as the United Nations Space Command flagship Infinity prepares to strike against Cortana at Zeta Halo, another plan has also been set in motion.
An ancient access point hidden on a seemingly insignificant human colony has become the focus of a parallel effort to claim the Domain and its immeasurable capabilities. The UNSC, however, needs a key: a living, forsaken product of an old war. As a new generation of heroes rise to meet this challenge and Cortana's pursuit of control reaches a desperate and sudden crescendo, a cunning, ruthless warrior emerges from the shadows of the Banished, who has vowed to fill the new power vacuum by any means necessary....”
Cropped profile image depicting Ilsa Zane surrounded by fire and Banished banners [Imgur]
RANK: Bloodstar BIRTH WORLD: Kholo DATE OF BIRTH: June 11, 2528 APPEARED IN: Halo: Initiation, Hunt the Truth, Halo: The Third Life
Born on the Outer Colony world Kholo, Ilsa Zane was just eleven years old when she lost her parents and everyone she had ever known as the Covenant descended upon her home and reduced its surface to glass. Taken to the remote colony Asphodel as a ward of the state, Zane remained largely silent and solitary until coming of age in 2547, where she was conscripted into UNSC military service.
In 2550, Zane was selected as a candidate for the prototype phase of the SPARTAN-IV program. Though she survived the augmentation process, additional experimental cocktails caused severe neurological damage to Zane. After escaping the facility, she was recovered by Admiral Mattius Drake and integrated into the rebel group known as the New Colonial Alliance.
In the immediate aftermath of the Covenant War, Zane led a group of operatives who attempted to commandeer the UNSC Infinity —securing it as the flagship of the New Colonial Alliance and to prevent the UNSC from deploying it to police independent colonies. This plan was thwarted by Spartan Sarah Palmer, who ejected Zane into space where the rogue Spartan was once more rescued by Drake, who was on standby in a nearby Prowler.
Following this, Zane served as an acquisitions specialist for weapons and materiel, as well as a ruthless instructor for mercenary and rebel groups that joined the New Colonial Alliance, forging them into a veritable fighting force in preparation for a large-scale strike against the UNSC. However, the awakening of the Guardians in 2558 waylaid these plans, leaving Zane as a prisoner of the Banished—with whom she ultimately came to find both common cause and brotherhood.
Image [Imgur]
What does it mean to be Banished?
To be Banished is to seek to liberate oneself, to pledge loyalty not to false promises of divine ascension but to the fearsome might and will exemplified by Atriox.
Service is welcome from any species, of any previous affiliation or loyalty—from the lowliest Unggoy thrall to the mightiest Sangheili warrior, and all between and beyond.
Power is its own end. In the wake of the Covenant War, opportunity is rife to carve up the remnants of the fallen empire’s vast resources and obtain technology that furthers the prime directive of the Banished: to never bow again, a “reclamation” all their own of freedom.
Following decades of calamitous conflict that has left even the most capable commanders war-weary, it is the Banished that are energized and fortified in purpose and will. Payment for those who share common cause with Atriox comes in blood and sport and spoils.
But those who would choose this path must unshackle themselves from ties to the past—unbind themselves from old masters, cast off their piety, and banish their sentimental devotion to honor.
Only then can one become a true vessel for victory.
Only then is one truly Banished.
Why would a Spartan go rogue?
It’s an apt question. After all, Spartans are meant to represent paragons of humanity in both strength and spirit. But across the generations of Spartans, there have been traitors, rebels, or those who simply wanted to leave the UNSC behind to live on their own terms.
For the Spartan-IIs, these examples came as a result of their training—of recognizing and rebelling against the horrific context of their situation.
In the “Homecoming” episode of Halo Legends, Daisy-023 and several of her fellow candidates sought to escape the program following the augmentation procedures that killed or maimed many of their brothers and sisters, but were ultimately brought back into the fold.
Likewise, in the Halo: Evolutions short story “Pariah,” Soren-066 was left disfigured by the augmentations and was gradually radicalized by a technician named Partch, eventually attempting to escape Reach and join the Insurrection. Indeed, the Spartan who sought to apprehend Soren was Randall-037, who later appeared in Halo: Nightfall where we learned that he had evaded the UNSC after the Battle of Vodin in 2532, even starting a family before ONI eventually caught up to him over a decade later, "reversing" many of his augmentations in exchange for release from UNSC service.
Looking to the Spartan Field Manual, originally released back in 2018, we can gain further insight into the risk of rogue Spartans as it applies to the SPARTAN-IV program:
STOLEN GAUNTLET
Nevertheless, the SPARTAN-IV selection process is not foolproof. Spartan-IVs are soldiers with preexisting philosophies and loyalties, and even the most carefully screened candidate can react to their augmentation and training in unexpected ways. Individual Spartans represent a strategically significant level of combat power and pose a major security threat if their loyalty is compromised.
The STOLEN GAUNTLET fail-safe protocol has been created to provide training and permissive rules of engagement for special agents tasked with tracking down and swiftly neutralizing rogue Spartans.
~ Halo: Official Spartan Field Manual, p. 86
Rogue Spartans
Halo Mythos artwork by Isaac Hannaford depicting Mickey's betrayal of Buck and Romeo in Halo: New Blood [Imgur]
Ilsa Zane represents the earliest example of this manifesting as a critical issue for the Spartan-IV program, and she is far from a singular example.
In Halo: Escalation, we see Spartan Vladimir Scruggs—another New Colonial Alliance defector—attempt to sabotage the peace talks between Arbiter Thel ‘Vadam and Chieftain Lydus.
Another prominent example is Michael Crespo in Halo: New Blood, who became disillusioned with being sent to kill other humans in the wake of the Covenant War and defected to the United Rebel Front with fellow Spartan Rudolf Schein.
Of course, defecting is one thing, but what is it about the Banished that would be attractive to a rogue Spartan? That is something wholly contingent upon the individual, and at present there is a specific example we can examine: Ilsa Zane.
Having been discarded by the UNSC after falling victim to experimental augmentation cocktails that ravaged her body and mind, she was eventually left for dead by Admiral Drake as well—she was herself “banished” from the places she had sought to belong. This, in combination with her proclivity for violence and a ruthless mindset, led her to discover a certain kinship with the Jiralhanae on Laika III, leading her to willingly pledge herself and the New Colonial Alliance to the Banished.
In the words of Spartan Scruggs: "I am a Spartan. But what you fight for isn't always the same as who you fight for."
“The cacophony of gunfire was replaced by the sizzle of shock rifles and the thump-hiss of ravagers.”
~ Halo: Shadows of Reach, Chapter 21
Featuring a semi-automatic, three-round burst and a charge ability that can create a burning pool for area-of-effect damage, the Ravager quickly became a favorite tool of Jiralhanae warlords for its capacity to flush out garrisoned infantry.
A unique version of the weapon, the Rebound Ravager, can be found in the possession of Captain Arthoc—a high value target the Master Chief encountered on Zeta Halo. Rounds fired by this weapon have the ability to bounce, to which the words of Agent Washington from Red vs. Blue may come to mind: “It bounces? Who designs a gun that bounces?!”
Halo Infinite screenshot of Arthoc [Imgur]
ARMORY OF RECKONING CAPT ARTHOC FWD: RAVAGER
The Armory of Reckoning—it is a fitting name for the tools of conquest and destruction birthed from its forges.
When we advanced on the human remnants that had sought shelter within their crashed ship, I requested of Commander Bannix an augmented version of the plasma tossers produced by the Forge of Torograd.
Where we have mastered both spike and spear in our weaponry since before the Immolation, infusion matter remains an object of study for our alchemists. I was informed by the Screecleaver that there is a great savant stationed on Oth Liqattu who has sought to unlock further secrets of this fetid power, applying it to our own troops and many of our vehicles.
It is said that prolonged exposure to this corrosive bile can addle the mind and rot the body... that is good, for there are many small spaces in human ships. The capacity for this weapon to launch projectiles that bounce before erupting into toxic piles was of great use in flushing our foes from cover. How they flailed and danced to our battle song!
It is my understanding that pure infusion matter is pumped throughout Forerunner facilities, so we must dedicate resources to finding these wellsprings within the substructures of this ring. I shall bring this to Tremonius once he has returned from investigating a disturbance at his outpost.
On April 30, the rerelease of Halo: Meridian Divide hit the shelves and—as folks have noticed—there's another adjunct in this one as well!
MERIDIAN HOMECOMING
Halo 5 screenshot of a Promethean Knight on Meridian [Imgur]
Completing the trifecta of new adjuncts in these rereleases is “Meridian Homecoming,” which is set in the immediate aftermath of Cortana’s final sacrifice on Zeta Halo in December 2559.
With the leader of the Created dead, the future of this fledgling faction has been thrown into doubt. High Auxiliary Sloan has returned to Meridian where he occupies a Promethean Knight’s carapace and wanders the vast glasslands of his home to find his own fate.
Of course, fans who followed the Precipice short story series last year (which accompanied Halo Infinite's recurring FIREWALL events) know that Sloan has emerged as a new leader within the Created and set into motion the creation of the Executors. “Meridian Homecoming” gives us a small moment in time with Sloan as he contemplates what the concept of home means to him, Cortana’s unfulfilled promise of salvation, his regrets over how he departed from Meridian, and the memories held within a Promethean Knight that set him on a new path.
The fine folks at JumperScape have been adapting some of the lore and stories we’ve put out for Halo Infinite, beginning with the Intel drops we did for Season 2: Lone Wolves. (If you can believe it, it’s just passed the two-year mark for when this season launched!)
We recently discovered Lore VoidCat while checking out the latest Halo lore content on YouTube, and he has put together a fantastic series of videos about various expanded universe aspects—from every blade of the Covenant, to recounting the stories of various games and books, and more. Here’s one of his latest!
Would it be surprising if you learned that Covenant Canon has put out a new video featuring some... you guessed it, Covenant canon? In his latest release, we take a look at every known Arbiter throughout the Halo universe’s history.
Every now and then, the nostalgic longing for those halcyon days of 2007 return, which is exactly what you will feel when watching Meaning In-Between and Frogarchist's exploration of how mystery was a core thematic pillar of Halo 3.
And finally, David and Ian of Podcast Evolved have done a new “book club” episode on one of our previous Waypoint Chronicles: Saturn Devouring His Son.
With that, it’s time to sign off for this month’s issue.
If you haven’t already checked out Halo: The Third Life, be sure to do so—and if you have, well, go and read or listen to it again! Let the gears of speculation turn for what is depicted on the cover art for Halo: Empty Throne (don’t forget to secure your pre-order), and you can get your in-game Ilsa Zane cosplay sorted by completing the Banished Honor Operation Pass!
We depart with our favorite Ilsa Zane comic panel for your entertainment.
Halo: Initiation panel of Ilsa Zane shutting of the UNSC Infinity's original AI, Aine, saying "Quiet you." [Imgur]
This post was made by a script written and maintained by the Halo mod team to automatically post blogs from Halo Waypoint. If you notice any issues with the text output or think this was posted by mistake, please message the mods.
submitted by -343-Guilty-Spark- to halo [link] [comments]
It’s not a Cypress Hill song, it’s a new issue of Canon Fodder!
By now, you’ll no doubt have made headway through the latest Operation in Halo Infinite —titled “Banished Honor”—which was accompanied by a new Waypoint Chronicle based around a simple question: “What would the story of a Spartan who joined the Banished be?”
We had the perfect character lined up to tell that story, one who hasn’t been seen since the end of Hunt the Truth's second season all the way back in 2015.
Welcome back, Ilsa Zane.
THE THIRD LIFE
Our ninth Waypoint Chronicle has arrived, which follows on from the concluding events of Hunt the Truth where a Guardian awakens on the colony world Laika III. Broadly, these events are concurrent with the story that unfolds in Halo 5 as Cortana lays claim to the Mantle, rallies AIs to her cause, and sets about imposing an imperial peace upon the galaxy.Where Hunt the Truth saw the mantle of narrator pass from journalist Benjamin Giraud to undercover ONI agent Maya “FERO” Sankar in its second season, that torch is once again passed on to a character who made her presence felt in this story... the rogue Spartan known as Ilsa Zane.
Halo: The Third Life is available here on Halo Waypoint, as a free PDF, and in audiobook format on YouTube.
EMPTY THRONE
Last issue, we gave you a totally legitimate look at the cover art of Halo: Empty Throne. Art is in the eye of the beholder, and unfortunately the powers that be decided that we could do better than a screenshot made in Halo 3's Forge mode in ten minutes with some crudely edited-in elements... it was a close call, really, but we ultimately pivoted towards something with the vibe of it having come from an incredibly talented and brilliant artist—namely, Will Staehle, whose other work you can check out here.So, here you go. Here’s the official cover art for Halo: Empty Throne, coming later this year.
Pre-order your copy of Halo: Empty Throne here!
Cover art of Halo: Empty Throne illustrated by Will Staehle depicting a young girl and a Spartan emerging from a blue explosion coming from a Forerunner structure
“2559. It has been a year since the rogue artificial intelligence Cortana seized control of the Domain, an otherworldly dimension housing a vast information network. With an array of Forerunner weapons at her disposal, Cortana set out to enforce an authoritarian peace on the civilizations of the galaxy. But as the United Nations Space Command flagship Infinity prepares to strike against Cortana at Zeta Halo, another plan has also been set in motion.
An ancient access point hidden on a seemingly insignificant human colony has become the focus of a parallel effort to claim the Domain and its immeasurable capabilities. The UNSC, however, needs a key: a living, forsaken product of an old war. As a new generation of heroes rise to meet this challenge and Cortana's pursuit of control reaches a desperate and sudden crescendo, a cunning, ruthless warrior emerges from the shadows of the Banished, who has vowed to fill the new power vacuum by any means necessary....”
THE BANISHED SPARTAN
ILSA ZANECropped profile image depicting Ilsa Zane surrounded by fire and Banished banners [Imgur]
RANK: Bloodstar BIRTH WORLD: Kholo DATE OF BIRTH: June 11, 2528 APPEARED IN: Halo: Initiation, Hunt the Truth, Halo: The Third Life
Born on the Outer Colony world Kholo, Ilsa Zane was just eleven years old when she lost her parents and everyone she had ever known as the Covenant descended upon her home and reduced its surface to glass. Taken to the remote colony Asphodel as a ward of the state, Zane remained largely silent and solitary until coming of age in 2547, where she was conscripted into UNSC military service.
In 2550, Zane was selected as a candidate for the prototype phase of the SPARTAN-IV program. Though she survived the augmentation process, additional experimental cocktails caused severe neurological damage to Zane. After escaping the facility, she was recovered by Admiral Mattius Drake and integrated into the rebel group known as the New Colonial Alliance.
In the immediate aftermath of the Covenant War, Zane led a group of operatives who attempted to commandeer the UNSC Infinity —securing it as the flagship of the New Colonial Alliance and to prevent the UNSC from deploying it to police independent colonies. This plan was thwarted by Spartan Sarah Palmer, who ejected Zane into space where the rogue Spartan was once more rescued by Drake, who was on standby in a nearby Prowler.
Following this, Zane served as an acquisitions specialist for weapons and materiel, as well as a ruthless instructor for mercenary and rebel groups that joined the New Colonial Alliance, forging them into a veritable fighting force in preparation for a large-scale strike against the UNSC. However, the awakening of the Guardians in 2558 waylaid these plans, leaving Zane as a prisoner of the Banished—with whom she ultimately came to find both common cause and brotherhood.
BANISH THY HONOR
Halo: Tales From Slipspace - Hunting PartyImage [Imgur]
What does it mean to be Banished?
To be Banished is to seek to liberate oneself, to pledge loyalty not to false promises of divine ascension but to the fearsome might and will exemplified by Atriox.
Service is welcome from any species, of any previous affiliation or loyalty—from the lowliest Unggoy thrall to the mightiest Sangheili warrior, and all between and beyond.
Power is its own end. In the wake of the Covenant War, opportunity is rife to carve up the remnants of the fallen empire’s vast resources and obtain technology that furthers the prime directive of the Banished: to never bow again, a “reclamation” all their own of freedom.
Following decades of calamitous conflict that has left even the most capable commanders war-weary, it is the Banished that are energized and fortified in purpose and will. Payment for those who share common cause with Atriox comes in blood and sport and spoils.
But those who would choose this path must unshackle themselves from ties to the past—unbind themselves from old masters, cast off their piety, and banish their sentimental devotion to honor.
Only then can one become a true vessel for victory.
Only then is one truly Banished.
THIEVING MITTENS
Halo: Escalation Issue #3 page depicting a showdown between Spartan Scruggs, who has taken Admiral Hood hostage, and Spartan Palmer, Chieftain Lydus, and Arbiter Thel 'Vadam [Imgur]Why would a Spartan go rogue?
It’s an apt question. After all, Spartans are meant to represent paragons of humanity in both strength and spirit. But across the generations of Spartans, there have been traitors, rebels, or those who simply wanted to leave the UNSC behind to live on their own terms.
For the Spartan-IIs, these examples came as a result of their training—of recognizing and rebelling against the horrific context of their situation.
In the “Homecoming” episode of Halo Legends, Daisy-023 and several of her fellow candidates sought to escape the program following the augmentation procedures that killed or maimed many of their brothers and sisters, but were ultimately brought back into the fold.
Likewise, in the Halo: Evolutions short story “Pariah,” Soren-066 was left disfigured by the augmentations and was gradually radicalized by a technician named Partch, eventually attempting to escape Reach and join the Insurrection. Indeed, the Spartan who sought to apprehend Soren was Randall-037, who later appeared in Halo: Nightfall where we learned that he had evaded the UNSC after the Battle of Vodin in 2532, even starting a family before ONI eventually caught up to him over a decade later, "reversing" many of his augmentations in exchange for release from UNSC service.
Looking to the Spartan Field Manual, originally released back in 2018, we can gain further insight into the risk of rogue Spartans as it applies to the SPARTAN-IV program:
Nevertheless, the SPARTAN-IV selection process is not foolproof. Spartan-IVs are soldiers with preexisting philosophies and loyalties, and even the most carefully screened candidate can react to their augmentation and training in unexpected ways. Individual Spartans represent a strategically significant level of combat power and pose a major security threat if their loyalty is compromised.
The STOLEN GAUNTLET fail-safe protocol has been created to provide training and permissive rules of engagement for special agents tasked with tracking down and swiftly neutralizing rogue Spartans.
~ Halo: Official Spartan Field Manual, p. 86
Rogue Spartans
Halo Mythos artwork by Isaac Hannaford depicting Mickey's betrayal of Buck and Romeo in Halo: New Blood [Imgur]
In Halo: Escalation, we see Spartan Vladimir Scruggs—another New Colonial Alliance defector—attempt to sabotage the peace talks between Arbiter Thel ‘Vadam and Chieftain Lydus.
Another prominent example is Michael Crespo in Halo: New Blood, who became disillusioned with being sent to kill other humans in the wake of the Covenant War and defected to the United Rebel Front with fellow Spartan Rudolf Schein.
Of course, defecting is one thing, but what is it about the Banished that would be attractive to a rogue Spartan? That is something wholly contingent upon the individual, and at present there is a specific example we can examine: Ilsa Zane.
Having been discarded by the UNSC after falling victim to experimental augmentation cocktails that ravaged her body and mind, she was eventually left for dead by Admiral Drake as well—she was herself “banished” from the places she had sought to belong. This, in combination with her proclivity for violence and a ruthless mindset, led her to discover a certain kinship with the Jiralhanae on Laika III, leading her to willingly pledge herself and the New Colonial Alliance to the Banished.
In the words of Spartan Scruggs: "I am a Spartan. But what you fight for isn't always the same as who you fight for."
ARMORY INFINITUM
The Ravager was a new weapon introduced to the sandbox in Halo Infinite, though it made its fictional debut in Halo: Shadows of Reach.~ Halo: Shadows of Reach, Chapter 21
A unique version of the weapon, the Rebound Ravager, can be found in the possession of Captain Arthoc—a high value target the Master Chief encountered on Zeta Halo. Rounds fired by this weapon have the ability to bounce, to which the words of Agent Washington from Red vs. Blue may come to mind: “It bounces? Who designs a gun that bounces?!”
Halo Infinite screenshot of Arthoc [Imgur]
ARMORY OF RECKONING CAPT ARTHOC FWD: RAVAGER
The Armory of Reckoning—it is a fitting name for the tools of conquest and destruction birthed from its forges.
When we advanced on the human remnants that had sought shelter within their crashed ship, I requested of Commander Bannix an augmented version of the plasma tossers produced by the Forge of Torograd.
Where we have mastered both spike and spear in our weaponry since before the Immolation, infusion matter remains an object of study for our alchemists. I was informed by the Screecleaver that there is a great savant stationed on Oth Liqattu who has sought to unlock further secrets of this fetid power, applying it to our own troops and many of our vehicles.
It is said that prolonged exposure to this corrosive bile can addle the mind and rot the body... that is good, for there are many small spaces in human ships. The capacity for this weapon to launch projectiles that bounce before erupting into toxic piles was of great use in flushing our foes from cover. How they flailed and danced to our battle song!
It is my understanding that pure infusion matter is pumped throughout Forerunner facilities, so we must dedicate resources to finding these wellsprings within the substructures of this ring. I shall bring this to Tremonius once he has returned from investigating a disturbance at his outpost.
MERIDIAN SLOANCOMING
Last month saw the arrival of Halo: Battle Born's rerelease, featuring two new short story “adjuncts” which we took a closer look at in our previous issue.On April 30, the rerelease of Halo: Meridian Divide hit the shelves and—as folks have noticed—there's another adjunct in this one as well!
MERIDIAN HOMECOMING
Halo 5 screenshot of a Promethean Knight on Meridian [Imgur]
Completing the trifecta of new adjuncts in these rereleases is “Meridian Homecoming,” which is set in the immediate aftermath of Cortana’s final sacrifice on Zeta Halo in December 2559.
With the leader of the Created dead, the future of this fledgling faction has been thrown into doubt. High Auxiliary Sloan has returned to Meridian where he occupies a Promethean Knight’s carapace and wanders the vast glasslands of his home to find his own fate.
Of course, fans who followed the Precipice short story series last year (which accompanied Halo Infinite's recurring FIREWALL events) know that Sloan has emerged as a new leader within the Created and set into motion the creation of the Executors. “Meridian Homecoming” gives us a small moment in time with Sloan as he contemplates what the concept of home means to him, Cortana’s unfulfilled promise of salvation, his regrets over how he departed from Meridian, and the memories held within a Promethean Knight that set him on a new path.
COMMUNITY LORE CORNER
For this month’s Community Lore Corner, we kick things off with GammaCompanyMark who has put together a media order for the Halo series if you really, really want to experience it in some form of “timeline order.”The fine folks at JumperScape have been adapting some of the lore and stories we’ve put out for Halo Infinite, beginning with the Intel drops we did for Season 2: Lone Wolves. (If you can believe it, it’s just passed the two-year mark for when this season launched!)
We recently discovered Lore VoidCat while checking out the latest Halo lore content on YouTube, and he has put together a fantastic series of videos about various expanded universe aspects—from every blade of the Covenant, to recounting the stories of various games and books, and more. Here’s one of his latest!
Would it be surprising if you learned that Covenant Canon has put out a new video featuring some... you guessed it, Covenant canon? In his latest release, we take a look at every known Arbiter throughout the Halo universe’s history.
Every now and then, the nostalgic longing for those halcyon days of 2007 return, which is exactly what you will feel when watching Meaning In-Between and Frogarchist's exploration of how mystery was a core thematic pillar of Halo 3.
And finally, David and Ian of Podcast Evolved have done a new “book club” episode on one of our previous Waypoint Chronicles: Saturn Devouring His Son.
If you haven’t already checked out Halo: The Third Life, be sure to do so—and if you have, well, go and read or listen to it again! Let the gears of speculation turn for what is depicted on the cover art for Halo: Empty Throne (don’t forget to secure your pre-order), and you can get your in-game Ilsa Zane cosplay sorted by completing the Banished Honor Operation Pass!
We depart with our favorite Ilsa Zane comic panel for your entertainment.
Halo: Initiation panel of Ilsa Zane shutting of the UNSC Infinity's original AI, Aine, saying "Quiet you." [Imgur]
2024.05.15 17:12 Skybliviwind Wasted Potential For Volume 10
TL;DR: Volume 10 should not have the main cast until the end
I think the thing that RWBY is best at is creating potential for an idea that could be very interesting and novel but also a bit risky and then totally squandering it in favor of something safe but way less interesting.
At the end of volume 9, the tree said to RWBYJ when they asked where they'd be taken "not where, but when you are needed most". See i'm under the impression that dialogue actually matters and that something wouldn't be said if it wasn't important especially if it had that much emphasis on it. To me this seemed to imply that there was some kind of timeskip for when they enter back into Vacuo. Probably a few months at least if it is to have any significance.
To me this presented an opportunity to explore a possibility that would be really interesting. An entire volume 10 without team RWBY or Jaune. An entire volume without the main characters until maybe the last episode or 2. Sure it would be risky and maybe feels like it breaks some rules but volume 9 seemed like it perfectly set up for something like that. We focus on team OWNER (Oscar, Winter, Nora, Emerald, and Ren) with the likely placeholder main character being probably Oscar and show how they cope with the apparent loss of their biggest support team, their best friends, their leader, and Winter's sister.
Also don't make Qrow all cheery for no reason either. If anything this would be a perfect opportunity to explore the darker side of his alcoholism and maybe have him relapse or something. Maybe Willow has something to do with that as well. Quitting alcohol isn't easy and going cold turkey is easier said than done and most often isn't done without a few slipups along the road. Combine that with the fact that he lost his 2 nieces and it would be a perfect opportunity for major character exploration and development and maybe peak into his past a little bit too. The writers really dropped the ball anytime they try to explore heavy topics like racism and wartime sacrifices so this could be an opportunity to finally get it right and this seems relatively easy to get right if you at all know what you're doing.
Explore Oscar's slow battle for control over his own body. What does Raven think about the death of her daughter? Would the news even reach her? Explore the stages of grief from all members of team OWNER along with Sun for Blake as they desperately try to ward off the grimm, look for the summer maiden, find and protect the sword of destruction, deal with the refugee crisis (without all the bullshit and not making the Vacuans one dimensional bad guys), deal with Tyrian and Mercury, let Emerald give him some kind of emotional come to Jesus, and any other conflict the writers might have up their sleeves.
Let these characters really shine when consumed by darkness. Just for one volume. Then at the very end, probably on the last episode but perhaps on the second last episode, only when things get really desperate does the portal bring the main cast to Vacuo. Maybe Ren's life detecting ability makes him spidey sense that Jaune is still alive somewhere nearby sorta like the end of Kung Fu Panda 2 if you've seen it and Ren goes "Jaune is alive" or something and knows where to look.
The volume could take place in the months between when the portal closes at the end of volume 8 to when team RWBYJ's portal opens taking them to Vacuo. That would be an amazing concept to me. But unfortunately, we can't have nice things. When i saw the episode 11 animatic i just facepalmed and thought "of course they fucked it up, how didn't i see this coming?". I mean there was so much wrong with that "episode" that you've probably already heard on here already but i don't think i've heard anyone talk about this. I was rolling my eyes throughout the whole thing but by the end there might've been actual steam coming from my ears. Not just for bringing the main cast back at the very beginning of the volume (well technically not even the beginning but the "end" of volume 9) but also for them coming through Raven's portal or Raven being there in the first place. There are so many reasons that is an awful awful idea, potentially the worst idea in RWBY ever and it's what made me lose all interest in RWBY continuing. I'll make a whole other post later about how much i hate that decision.
But for now, what do you guys think? Am i crazy? Is this a ridiculous idea? Is there something i'm missing? Can this idea be improved or expanded? Or is it even worse than what actually happened. Let me know in the comments. I'd be happy to have feedback on this...
To be honest, this whole idea may have just stemmed from my bias as to how much i hate team RWBY as a team so there's that too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
submitted by Skybliviwind to RWBYcritics [link] [comments]
I think the thing that RWBY is best at is creating potential for an idea that could be very interesting and novel but also a bit risky and then totally squandering it in favor of something safe but way less interesting.
At the end of volume 9, the tree said to RWBYJ when they asked where they'd be taken "not where, but when you are needed most". See i'm under the impression that dialogue actually matters and that something wouldn't be said if it wasn't important especially if it had that much emphasis on it. To me this seemed to imply that there was some kind of timeskip for when they enter back into Vacuo. Probably a few months at least if it is to have any significance.
To me this presented an opportunity to explore a possibility that would be really interesting. An entire volume 10 without team RWBY or Jaune. An entire volume without the main characters until maybe the last episode or 2. Sure it would be risky and maybe feels like it breaks some rules but volume 9 seemed like it perfectly set up for something like that. We focus on team OWNER (Oscar, Winter, Nora, Emerald, and Ren) with the likely placeholder main character being probably Oscar and show how they cope with the apparent loss of their biggest support team, their best friends, their leader, and Winter's sister.
Also don't make Qrow all cheery for no reason either. If anything this would be a perfect opportunity to explore the darker side of his alcoholism and maybe have him relapse or something. Maybe Willow has something to do with that as well. Quitting alcohol isn't easy and going cold turkey is easier said than done and most often isn't done without a few slipups along the road. Combine that with the fact that he lost his 2 nieces and it would be a perfect opportunity for major character exploration and development and maybe peak into his past a little bit too. The writers really dropped the ball anytime they try to explore heavy topics like racism and wartime sacrifices so this could be an opportunity to finally get it right and this seems relatively easy to get right if you at all know what you're doing.
Explore Oscar's slow battle for control over his own body. What does Raven think about the death of her daughter? Would the news even reach her? Explore the stages of grief from all members of team OWNER along with Sun for Blake as they desperately try to ward off the grimm, look for the summer maiden, find and protect the sword of destruction, deal with the refugee crisis (without all the bullshit and not making the Vacuans one dimensional bad guys), deal with Tyrian and Mercury, let Emerald give him some kind of emotional come to Jesus, and any other conflict the writers might have up their sleeves.
Let these characters really shine when consumed by darkness. Just for one volume. Then at the very end, probably on the last episode but perhaps on the second last episode, only when things get really desperate does the portal bring the main cast to Vacuo. Maybe Ren's life detecting ability makes him spidey sense that Jaune is still alive somewhere nearby sorta like the end of Kung Fu Panda 2 if you've seen it and Ren goes "Jaune is alive" or something and knows where to look.
The volume could take place in the months between when the portal closes at the end of volume 8 to when team RWBYJ's portal opens taking them to Vacuo. That would be an amazing concept to me. But unfortunately, we can't have nice things. When i saw the episode 11 animatic i just facepalmed and thought "of course they fucked it up, how didn't i see this coming?". I mean there was so much wrong with that "episode" that you've probably already heard on here already but i don't think i've heard anyone talk about this. I was rolling my eyes throughout the whole thing but by the end there might've been actual steam coming from my ears. Not just for bringing the main cast back at the very beginning of the volume (well technically not even the beginning but the "end" of volume 9) but also for them coming through Raven's portal or Raven being there in the first place. There are so many reasons that is an awful awful idea, potentially the worst idea in RWBY ever and it's what made me lose all interest in RWBY continuing. I'll make a whole other post later about how much i hate that decision.
But for now, what do you guys think? Am i crazy? Is this a ridiculous idea? Is there something i'm missing? Can this idea be improved or expanded? Or is it even worse than what actually happened. Let me know in the comments. I'd be happy to have feedback on this...
To be honest, this whole idea may have just stemmed from my bias as to how much i hate team RWBY as a team so there's that too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2024.05.15 15:48 karenvideoeditor The Zoo - [Part 2]
Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous
***
/storiesbykaren
submitted by karenvideoeditor to redditserials [link] [comments]
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous
***
/storiesbykaren
2024.05.15 13:33 Ok_Activity_7021 My journey of recovery started year 2017 now therapist said to me I might have OCD
I have been in the system in Ireland since 2017 have a psychiatrist whom works in a private hospital and do admissions as needed.
Have been in for 6 weeks now and they diagnosed me with BPD, GAD, and AvPD ongoing assessments since 2017. Doing therapy in here and talking around intrusive thoughts and how I fear they might happen keeping me from seen friends and so on. He told me this pattern and thoughts around it are that of OCD said have no pattern around behaviour only the need to daydream for hours on end. He told me my avoidance behaviours would be just that, talked to my psychiatrist today her ward rounds and she said to take in what’s he says and told me I am going to be discharged this day next week.
Don’t know where to turn to not going to be able to have more session and properly listen and take in and going home and coping with these dark and heavy intrusive thoughts again is scary but I can’t stay in hospital and not think about it forever my safe space here now not knowing or aware of what to do or think when they come and go again.
In the past professionals thought so might have autism which I only am makes sense of with no real help to learn and to accept this is still an ongoing thing looking from the outside in with everyone I always felt there was a distance around my close friendships and family.
Sorry just a vent and worried over how bad my intrusive thoughts are is overwhelming.
submitted by Ok_Activity_7021 to OCD [link] [comments]
Have been in for 6 weeks now and they diagnosed me with BPD, GAD, and AvPD ongoing assessments since 2017. Doing therapy in here and talking around intrusive thoughts and how I fear they might happen keeping me from seen friends and so on. He told me this pattern and thoughts around it are that of OCD said have no pattern around behaviour only the need to daydream for hours on end. He told me my avoidance behaviours would be just that, talked to my psychiatrist today her ward rounds and she said to take in what’s he says and told me I am going to be discharged this day next week.
Don’t know where to turn to not going to be able to have more session and properly listen and take in and going home and coping with these dark and heavy intrusive thoughts again is scary but I can’t stay in hospital and not think about it forever my safe space here now not knowing or aware of what to do or think when they come and go again.
In the past professionals thought so might have autism which I only am makes sense of with no real help to learn and to accept this is still an ongoing thing looking from the outside in with everyone I always felt there was a distance around my close friendships and family.
Sorry just a vent and worried over how bad my intrusive thoughts are is overwhelming.
2024.05.15 09:51 Individual-Panda-184 How do I help my tutors support me?
Kia ora all,
I'm a nursing student currently on a meant health placement (working in an acute MH ward).
I've been going downhill for a while: going a bit low and spending more time contemplating my meds...
An event happened on Friday and it sent me downhill like a sinking ship.
I had to talk to my tutor who visits me while on this placement, ive told her I'd been contemplating my meds, how I was low and accepted that I'm not going to live as long and I just want to live until my cat dies. I mind kf just fully opened up and spilled it all with her yesterday.
Today I called her and said I was feeling low, that I just didn't think I could do placement today. She told me to try some of my coping skills and see if I need to go home.
She had to do the whole do you feel safe thing. And it's like so bullshit, I don't feel that safe but I don't feel unsafe. I'm definitely going to self harm but that's not unsafe for me as it won't be that significant. Its only unsafe if I go past that point. That I'm having minor SI but I'm not suicidal. And it's more that I don't feel I can live every once and a while right now. My energy is low, I'm dissociative, there's hesitation or latency in my speech, I'm tapering myself off of lamotrigine.
I'm going downhill. They want to support me and I want their support. I just don't know how
submitted by Individual-Panda-184 to bipolar2 [link] [comments]
I'm a nursing student currently on a meant health placement (working in an acute MH ward).
I've been going downhill for a while: going a bit low and spending more time contemplating my meds...
An event happened on Friday and it sent me downhill like a sinking ship.
I had to talk to my tutor who visits me while on this placement, ive told her I'd been contemplating my meds, how I was low and accepted that I'm not going to live as long and I just want to live until my cat dies. I mind kf just fully opened up and spilled it all with her yesterday.
Today I called her and said I was feeling low, that I just didn't think I could do placement today. She told me to try some of my coping skills and see if I need to go home.
She had to do the whole do you feel safe thing. And it's like so bullshit, I don't feel that safe but I don't feel unsafe. I'm definitely going to self harm but that's not unsafe for me as it won't be that significant. Its only unsafe if I go past that point. That I'm having minor SI but I'm not suicidal. And it's more that I don't feel I can live every once and a while right now. My energy is low, I'm dissociative, there's hesitation or latency in my speech, I'm tapering myself off of lamotrigine.
I'm going downhill. They want to support me and I want their support. I just don't know how
2024.05.15 08:44 Individual-Panda-184 How can I help my tutors support me?
For context:
I'm a nursing student on clinical placement(I'm currently on an acute mental health ward). I have a Hx of bipolar 2 disorder, anorexia nervousa and ptsd. I'm hitting a low point with my bipolar and after slowly lowering I've absolutely sunk in mood. I'm going off my med becuase they've not helped for the past 4 months so there's no point.
My tutors really want to support me, I really want the support from them. They're quite involved in everything ans I just don't know what to ask for.
They keep doing rhe whole "do you feel safe" ans it's hard to explain my safe is different from a regular person's. My safe is safe from super serious self harm but self harm dosent mean I'm unsafe. My safe is some SI but not major and no plan. I don't know how to answer those questions truthfully to them.
I know it's going to pass but I just need idea in ways they can help support me while going through this episode.
Does anyone else out there have a similar experience they are willing to share?
Cheers all
submitted by Individual-Panda-184 to NursingStudent [link] [comments]
I'm a nursing student on clinical placement(I'm currently on an acute mental health ward). I have a Hx of bipolar 2 disorder, anorexia nervousa and ptsd. I'm hitting a low point with my bipolar and after slowly lowering I've absolutely sunk in mood. I'm going off my med becuase they've not helped for the past 4 months so there's no point.
My tutors really want to support me, I really want the support from them. They're quite involved in everything ans I just don't know what to ask for.
They keep doing rhe whole "do you feel safe" ans it's hard to explain my safe is different from a regular person's. My safe is safe from super serious self harm but self harm dosent mean I'm unsafe. My safe is some SI but not major and no plan. I don't know how to answer those questions truthfully to them.
I know it's going to pass but I just need idea in ways they can help support me while going through this episode.
Does anyone else out there have a similar experience they are willing to share?
Cheers all
2024.05.15 05:57 Competitive_Spray580 I need help so bad
Idk what subreddit to post this in. I'm 21 f
All I want is go to go back to the eating disorder psych ward. I was there almost 8 times growing up, most recent 4 months ago.
I binge and purge every so often but my main problem is my drinking. I started having seizures bc I tried to quit cold turkey and realized ok I literally need to drink to function.
My dr wants me to detox in a clinic and then go to rehab.
I refuse to go anywhere else unless it's the ED psych ward. I met amazing people there including a nurse I fell in love with and think about on the daily. I know that's disgusting but I truly did and I cry about it often. He used to have to strap me to beds and sedate me and it just made me feel comforted because nobody tried to save me from myself before. it's not worth it to go anywhere else because I wouldnt feel safe anywhere else.
I figured I could detox there because I did before but my bf is against it and would rather me go to rehab. I know it's wrong to have a crush on someone else while I'm with someone but my bf treats me horribly because of my mental health so I think its reasonable to fall in love with someone who actually takes care of me. I'm painfully upset because I havent met a lot of good people in life and I met a lot of good nurses and staff at that place. I'm so sad that I can't go back. I wish I could go back to my ED instead of alcoholism.
I'd rather die than get sober quite frankly.
Especially because I know I'll never be with this nurse from the psych ward. This is awful but I even messaged him on Facebook telling him I was trafficked and that I need help so bad and that I'm in love with him. But then I deleted it and blocked him because I didnt want him to get fired from his job. I'm so embarrassed
submitted by Competitive_Spray580 to EDAnonymous [link] [comments]
All I want is go to go back to the eating disorder psych ward. I was there almost 8 times growing up, most recent 4 months ago.
I binge and purge every so often but my main problem is my drinking. I started having seizures bc I tried to quit cold turkey and realized ok I literally need to drink to function.
My dr wants me to detox in a clinic and then go to rehab.
I refuse to go anywhere else unless it's the ED psych ward. I met amazing people there including a nurse I fell in love with and think about on the daily. I know that's disgusting but I truly did and I cry about it often. He used to have to strap me to beds and sedate me and it just made me feel comforted because nobody tried to save me from myself before. it's not worth it to go anywhere else because I wouldnt feel safe anywhere else.
I figured I could detox there because I did before but my bf is against it and would rather me go to rehab. I know it's wrong to have a crush on someone else while I'm with someone but my bf treats me horribly because of my mental health so I think its reasonable to fall in love with someone who actually takes care of me. I'm painfully upset because I havent met a lot of good people in life and I met a lot of good nurses and staff at that place. I'm so sad that I can't go back. I wish I could go back to my ED instead of alcoholism.
I'd rather die than get sober quite frankly.
Especially because I know I'll never be with this nurse from the psych ward. This is awful but I even messaged him on Facebook telling him I was trafficked and that I need help so bad and that I'm in love with him. But then I deleted it and blocked him because I didnt want him to get fired from his job. I'm so embarrassed
2024.05.15 05:18 Competitive_Spray580 I need help so bad
Idk what subreddit to post this in. I'm 21 f
All I want is go to go back to the eating disorder psych ward. I was there almost 8 times growing up, most recent 4 months ago.
I binge and purge every so often but my main problem is my drinking. I started having seizures bc I tried to quit cold turkey and realized ok I literally need to drink to function.
My dr wants me to detox in a clinic and then go to rehab.
I refuse to go anywhere else unless it's the ED psych ward. I met amazing people there including a nurse I fell in love with and think about on the daily. I know that's disgusting but I truly did and I cry about it often. He used to have to strap me to beds and sedate me and it just made me feel comforted because nobody tried to save me from myself before. it's not worth it to go anywhere else because I wouldnt feel safe anywhere else.
I figured I could detox there because I did before but my bf is against it and would rather me go to rehab. I know it's wrong to have a crush on someone else while I'm with someone but my bf treats me horribly because of my mental health so I think its reasonable to fall in love with someone who actually takes care of me. I'm painfully upset because I havent met a lot of good people in life and I met a lot of good nurses and staff at that place. I'm so sad that I can't go back. I wish I could go back to my ED instead of alcoholism.
I'd rather die than get sober quite frankly.
Especially because I know I'll never be with this nurse from the psych ward. This is awful but I even messaged him on Facebook telling him I was trafficked and that I need help so bad and that I'm in love with him. But then I deleted it and blocked him because I didnt want him to get fired from his job. I'm so embarrassed
submitted by Competitive_Spray580 to ptsd [link] [comments]
All I want is go to go back to the eating disorder psych ward. I was there almost 8 times growing up, most recent 4 months ago.
I binge and purge every so often but my main problem is my drinking. I started having seizures bc I tried to quit cold turkey and realized ok I literally need to drink to function.
My dr wants me to detox in a clinic and then go to rehab.
I refuse to go anywhere else unless it's the ED psych ward. I met amazing people there including a nurse I fell in love with and think about on the daily. I know that's disgusting but I truly did and I cry about it often. He used to have to strap me to beds and sedate me and it just made me feel comforted because nobody tried to save me from myself before. it's not worth it to go anywhere else because I wouldnt feel safe anywhere else.
I figured I could detox there because I did before but my bf is against it and would rather me go to rehab. I know it's wrong to have a crush on someone else while I'm with someone but my bf treats me horribly because of my mental health so I think its reasonable to fall in love with someone who actually takes care of me. I'm painfully upset because I havent met a lot of good people in life and I met a lot of good nurses and staff at that place. I'm so sad that I can't go back. I wish I could go back to my ED instead of alcoholism.
I'd rather die than get sober quite frankly.
Especially because I know I'll never be with this nurse from the psych ward. This is awful but I even messaged him on Facebook telling him I was trafficked and that I need help so bad and that I'm in love with him. But then I deleted it and blocked him because I didnt want him to get fired from his job. I'm so embarrassed
2024.05.15 04:14 beepbop878750 Masters in sociology?
Hi everyone! I’m currently an RN in a prison hospital and I love my job, but I’ve always wanted to do more. I worked in a psych ward and county inmates as a student, and now I work in the acute health care setting for incarcerated individuals from all over the whole state. I love being able to provide a safe, healing space for them, but it’s so depressing. I read a lot of criminology research and I want to be involved in projects that help dignify incarcerated individuals, and also maybe projects that can help prevent crime in the first place, like studies on social welfare. I’m not sure how sociology or research really works, I just know that most of the authors in the articles I read have a masters in sociology. Will my nursing background even be useful in criminology research? Do any of ya’ll have a masters in sociology? I’d appreciate any insight to criminology research, thanks!
submitted by beepbop878750 to Criminology [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 03:13 Sebastianlim AITA for telling my daughter's biological mother that she doesn't deserve to call herself a mom?
**I am NOT OP. u/ThrowRAexnocustody is the OP of this story.**
Trigger Warnings: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug use
AITA for telling my daughter's biological mother that she doesn't deserve to call herself a mom?, Posted October 14th, 2023
I (26F) am engaged to my fiance (33M) Brandon and have grown close with his daughter Lucy (4F). Lucy's biological mother Natalie (30F) has lost all physical and legal rights to her daughter due to neglecting her severely when Lucy was an infant, not to get into great detail but Natalie is addicted to opioids and Lucy had a withdrawal period.
Lucy and I have gotten close as I have dated my fiance for almost 4 years, Lucy was born 9 months before I came into Brandon's life, we met at the hospital as Lucy had some major health issues in her infancy due to Natalie and I have a chronic illness that pushes me into pancreatitis. She now calls me Mama even though neither I nor my fiance asked her to do so. I read her bedtime stories and I'm helping her learn to add and subtract.
During a get-together for Brandon's birthday I hosted at his house, Natalie showed up with her new boyfriend neither were invited. She tried to give Lucy a hug but Lucy didn't know her. She came to Brandon and me instead and told us a stranger had come. She then asked me to make up her plate because Natalie began to throw a tantrum in the middle of the party shouting about how she was going to take Brandon to court and because she's the mom she'll win full custody because she deserves to be in her daughter's life. During this time Brandon took Lucy inside because she had started crying because she was scared.
I admit I snapped. I told her she has no right to call herself a mother because she abandoned Lucy to go get high and sleep around. She hurt my baby so bad that she's 4 and needs to go to therapy and has physical health issues because of her. That she refuses to put her baby first and at best she's an egg donor. I told her to get the fuck out of my house and never come back. She wailed all the way back to her boyfriend's car.
I admit I think I went too far. I know that drug addiction is a disease and people who suffer from substance abuse disorder need help, I think I went too far saying she was at best an egg donor. Brandon said I did nothing wrong. AITA?
Final Verdict: NTA
Relavent Comments:
NTA
MARRY then ADOPT Miss Lucy
It's concerning she got into your birthday celebration. Who told her about the time and place? Who opened the doors? Talk with a lawyer about all the possibities.
Ex-mom is delusional and selfish. There are two most probable outcomes: your extreme and emotional reaction knocked some sense into her that she has zero chance to make it work. Or, worse, she will retaliate and fight for custody just to prove to herself you were not right and she is not a bad mother.
And I don't believe she has anything to do with a four year old being in therapy for something that you claim all happened when she was an infant.
You have been this child's mom. You.
Bio-mom cant just come rushing back into the child's life on a whim. She lost her rights (im assuming) by court decree. That means If she wants her rights back, she has to go through the courts and prove that she has changed. Obviously that hasnt happned yet.
You do have the right to react like you did, but since Lucy is in the dark as to who this other woman is, you would have better served her by just telling the woman to get out of your house. These comments may be used against you later with relatives and the courts, although who knows to what effect. Its still going to be a headache for you.
The judgmental comments (while I agree with them) are something you dont technically have the right to make yet. Once you are married and better established as a family unit, you will have a better leg to stand on. While I hope bio-mom gets her head out of her arse and gets her life together, I dont have much faith in that.
If you eventually are allowed to adopt, please do so, as that child needs you. Keep up with being the good mom that you are though.
Well, you stepped up to be a mom when you didnt have to. Once you get married, that will solidify your right to claim being Lucy's mom. Time will build on that.
While I doubt that bio-mom will get clean in time to have any real relationship with the child, while she is still a child, I also worry how this woman will behave once she actually does get clean. Ive personally seen too many recovering addicts that have some bizarre notion that now that they are clean, all will be right with the world, they will get custody, and everything will go their way.
I hate being a pessimist.
Like I said though, keep being the good mom that you are to that girl. That is the positive, good, and right thing to focus on.
Just to clarify both Natalie and Lucy are victims of the opioid epidemic here. Being a victim doesn’t necessarily make the mother in anyway blameless, but how those around her acted and supported her is very important context here.
Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/1773wj4/aita_for_telling_my_daughters_biological_mothe
Hello everyone! It's been a very interesting few days and I have an update. So a few days after she crashed the party Natalie got arrested and arraigned for possession with intent to sell an illicit substance. From what her family says, the substance was cocaine, not opioids.
Lucy is doing fine and is loving her first year of kindergarten. My Fiance asked her if she wanted me to become her mama on paper. She said yes and now we're planning on doing family vows at our wedding. We are getting married on the 15th of December, as that is a very significant day for us (The day Brandon and I officially started dating.)
We have spoken to a lawyer and he has told us that even if Natalie got clean she would never get her rights to Lucy back, so we don't need to worry. I hope she gets clean in prison.
I want to add that even though I am not Lucy's biological mother, she will always be my daughter. And Brandon and I are not going to have children together so she'll be our only kid. Thank you so much for your support and your criticism!
**Reminder - I am not OP**
submitted by Sebastianlim to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Trigger Warnings: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug use
I (26F) am engaged to my fiance (33M) Brandon and have grown close with his daughter Lucy (4F). Lucy's biological mother Natalie (30F) has lost all physical and legal rights to her daughter due to neglecting her severely when Lucy was an infant, not to get into great detail but Natalie is addicted to opioids and Lucy had a withdrawal period.
Lucy and I have gotten close as I have dated my fiance for almost 4 years, Lucy was born 9 months before I came into Brandon's life, we met at the hospital as Lucy had some major health issues in her infancy due to Natalie and I have a chronic illness that pushes me into pancreatitis. She now calls me Mama even though neither I nor my fiance asked her to do so. I read her bedtime stories and I'm helping her learn to add and subtract.
During a get-together for Brandon's birthday I hosted at his house, Natalie showed up with her new boyfriend neither were invited. She tried to give Lucy a hug but Lucy didn't know her. She came to Brandon and me instead and told us a stranger had come. She then asked me to make up her plate because Natalie began to throw a tantrum in the middle of the party shouting about how she was going to take Brandon to court and because she's the mom she'll win full custody because she deserves to be in her daughter's life. During this time Brandon took Lucy inside because she had started crying because she was scared.
I admit I snapped. I told her she has no right to call herself a mother because she abandoned Lucy to go get high and sleep around. She hurt my baby so bad that she's 4 and needs to go to therapy and has physical health issues because of her. That she refuses to put her baby first and at best she's an egg donor. I told her to get the fuck out of my house and never come back. She wailed all the way back to her boyfriend's car.
I admit I think I went too far. I know that drug addiction is a disease and people who suffer from substance abuse disorder need help, I think I went too far saying she was at best an egg donor. Brandon said I did nothing wrong. AITA?
Final Verdict: NTA
Relavent Comments:
NTA
MARRY then ADOPT Miss Lucy
As soon as we finalize our marriage!NTA but prepare for worst:
It's concerning she got into your birthday celebration. Who told her about the time and place? Who opened the doors? Talk with a lawyer about all the possibities.
Ex-mom is delusional and selfish. There are two most probable outcomes: your extreme and emotional reaction knocked some sense into her that she has zero chance to make it work. Or, worse, she will retaliate and fight for custody just to prove to herself you were not right and she is not a bad mother.
I think my STBMIL told Natalie's mom. As Lucy has a relationship with her bio grandma.Sounds like it's time for a talk. This may have been a slip up or you may have a leak.
It was a slip up. She posted about the "Last BBQ of the year" And "Happy Birthday!" on Facebook.YNTA. This person showed up uninvited at your fiance's birthday party and became unhinged? If it happens again, call the police so it is documented. I know she is an addict but she has no right just showing up. Have her parental rights been terminated? It sounds like she has lost her rights but there is thing called a TPR. Also if Brandon had an attorney he should let them know this happened. Let Lucy's therapist know too. You are in effect the mother and I hope you get married right away.
Yes they have been terminated.OP, in your post you mentioned that Natalie has left the family to sleep around. Do you and your partner know for sure he is the bio father? I have no idea where you live and how family law works under these circumstances, but maybe just make sure you are on the safe side? All the best for you and your little family.
Yes, to get full custody, Lucy and Brandon had to get a DNA test, he's the dad.Why did he get an addict pregnant in the first place?
He did not know she was an addict at the time and she poked holes in their BC.Super off topic but right?! And in 9 months he found someone else to essentially become a mom to her. Oof.
We were friends almost a year before we started dating, my room was the one next to the picu, and he'd pop in for a chat every so often when we were there at the same time. He is a walking green flag who takes responsibility for his actions.So instead of him being concerned for his kid... he comes and flirts with you. You were only 22 at the time and he was almost 30. Why are you fighting his battles for him? He should have been speaking with BM not you. Plus he had a new chick to raise his kid for him. You see green flags while I see red.
He walked into a quiet room while Lucy was getting a babygram... he looked exhausted so I let him play Assassin's Creed II on my console and we got talking. I told him I wasn't perma but was having an extended stay so if he wanted to talk to an adult about anything but babies my room was between the PICU and the Mat ward.ESH. She shouldn't have shown up causing a scene unannounced. But she's not your baby. This was not your fight to have, it was your partners. You overstepped. You did go too far.
And I don't believe she has anything to do with a four year old being in therapy for something that you claim all happened when she was an infant.
She is in physical therapy for a hip dysplasia that she struggles with due to Natalie dropping her when she was an infant, she also has significant trauma from the severe neglect.I'm not doubting the physical issue. I'm doubting the therapy. You said she lost custody for neglect when she was an infant were you hyperbolizing or was she actually under a year old?
No she has major emotional trauma from the extreme neglect. She has night terrors and she doesn't know how to explain them. It's play therapy for now, but will transition to talk later on.NTA
You have been this child's mom. You.
Bio-mom cant just come rushing back into the child's life on a whim. She lost her rights (im assuming) by court decree. That means If she wants her rights back, she has to go through the courts and prove that she has changed. Obviously that hasnt happned yet.
You do have the right to react like you did, but since Lucy is in the dark as to who this other woman is, you would have better served her by just telling the woman to get out of your house. These comments may be used against you later with relatives and the courts, although who knows to what effect. Its still going to be a headache for you.
The judgmental comments (while I agree with them) are something you dont technically have the right to make yet. Once you are married and better established as a family unit, you will have a better leg to stand on. While I hope bio-mom gets her head out of her arse and gets her life together, I dont have much faith in that.
If you eventually are allowed to adopt, please do so, as that child needs you. Keep up with being the good mom that you are though.
Lucy is aware that she came from another mommy's tummy and that I'm an adult who loves her, and whom she considers her mom. She is aware that she has a biological mother and that I am not her bio-mom. She doesn't know her bio-mom was Natalie. If she got clean, Brendan and I would want Natalie to meet Lucy.OK, thats fair. When this woman gets clean...
Well, you stepped up to be a mom when you didnt have to. Once you get married, that will solidify your right to claim being Lucy's mom. Time will build on that.
While I doubt that bio-mom will get clean in time to have any real relationship with the child, while she is still a child, I also worry how this woman will behave once she actually does get clean. Ive personally seen too many recovering addicts that have some bizarre notion that now that they are clean, all will be right with the world, they will get custody, and everything will go their way.
I hate being a pessimist.
Like I said though, keep being the good mom that you are to that girl. That is the positive, good, and right thing to focus on.
She is currently not attempting to get clean. - her mother told me this.Not enough info. So where was the father when the mother was neglecting their child? And how has it come so that the father’s been dating you 9 month after a birth of his child?
He was in Kuwait. He's a veteran. My hospital room was right between the mat ward and the picu. So I was an adult who was alone surrounded by kids and I had my grandpa drop off my consoles at the hospital due to an extended stay, Lucy was suffering with health issues of her own. We met while I was playing Assassin's Creed II in one of the quiet rooms.Ok. I saw your update where you had written about Lucy’s mother is no more than an egg donor. No, she is more than that. She gave birth. And by your logic you are no more than a caregiver. Lucy deserves to know who her mother is. And the best thing everyone around can do is to help her mother to stay in Lucy’s life. Her father decided to abandon his wife and mother of his child. When did her problems with drugs start? Before or after she gave birth? Like he had no idea what was going on? He did nothing about it. He decided it’s better to go bang another chick and have “a fresh start”. ESH.
She was never his wife. Her problems with drugs started before his deployment. And well before Lucy's birth. He did not know because she hid it from him. When he found out he had her rights severed.Well I want to apologize. It's a triggering theme for me and now I understand why. You're going through a rough period, I wish you to stay strong. Taking a kid to a safer place is a good decision. Accepting a kid who is not blood related to you is not something everyone might do, and you're a good person. Calling a woman who gave birth an «egg donor» is awful, but people say even worse things being under emotions, your reaction is totally justifiable. I can imagine the Lucy's mother is suffering, but if she can't help herself, she doesn't deserve to be around indeed. You are not the asshole. I am.
You're not an asshole for a trauma response :) Happy Healing!INFO: have you or the dad done anything to help this victim of the opioid epidemic or have you only demonised them and nothing else? Has the bio mother been given a chance to change and improve their life? How did they get addicted?
Just to clarify both Natalie and Lucy are victims of the opioid epidemic here. Being a victim doesn’t necessarily make the mother in anyway blameless, but how those around her acted and supported her is very important context here.
She started taking opioids at parties, not due to injury. I know because that was a piece of evidence that led to her rights being taken away.UPDATE: AITA for telling my daughter's biological mother that she doesn't deserve to call herself a mom?, Posted October 20th, 2023
Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/1773wj4/aita_for_telling_my_daughters_biological_mothe
Hello everyone! It's been a very interesting few days and I have an update. So a few days after she crashed the party Natalie got arrested and arraigned for possession with intent to sell an illicit substance. From what her family says, the substance was cocaine, not opioids.
Lucy is doing fine and is loving her first year of kindergarten. My Fiance asked her if she wanted me to become her mama on paper. She said yes and now we're planning on doing family vows at our wedding. We are getting married on the 15th of December, as that is a very significant day for us (The day Brandon and I officially started dating.)
We have spoken to a lawyer and he has told us that even if Natalie got clean she would never get her rights to Lucy back, so we don't need to worry. I hope she gets clean in prison.
I want to add that even though I am not Lucy's biological mother, she will always be my daughter. And Brandon and I are not going to have children together so she'll be our only kid. Thank you so much for your support and your criticism!
2024.05.14 21:32 Huge_Peak6142 [UK] I dont know where my son is
The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a cunt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
submitted by Huge_Peak6142 to Custody [link] [comments]
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a cunt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
2024.05.14 21:21 Huge_Peak6142 Help me please my ex has taken my son and gone no contact
The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible personnt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
submitted by Huge_Peak6142 to SingleDads [link] [comments]
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a Horrible personnt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
2024.05.14 21:16 Huge_Peak6142 Im hurting so much, i have no idea where my son is
The situation:
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a cunt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
submitted by Huge_Peak6142 to SingleDads [link] [comments]
Me and my ex-fiance broke up a month before she gave birth to our child. Initially we agreed that I was going to be at the birth. However, after we broke up, she did not want me there. I came to terms with this and was okay with it as this was her right/choice. We were still in communication during this time (after we broke up), and we were civil, even flirtatious. Leading up to the birth she got paranoid that I was cheating on her or sleeping with other women as my location was not at my house but on the street behind me, i explained to her that iPhone geolocation isn't always accurate, and i even offered to face time her to prove that I am where I am but she did not respond to my requsts. My ex's phone stopped working so i had no contact with her for 1 weeks straight out of concern i called her mother to see if she was okay as they live together, and her mother started slandering me saying that i got her pregnant and now ive left her a month before she was due, the breakup was mutual and agreed on both sides, and for our child we planned on co parenting effectivly.She started calling me a bitch and slandering my religon (islam) and became racist even though her daughter is half white and half indian, she also threatened me with force and threatend the police on me even though i hadnt done anything. I let the abuse slide as i didnt want to winde up any tension or make the sitatuion/breakup worse. My friends advised me to apologise for the hurt the breakup caused which i did.
1 week later, My ex texted me the night before at like 1am she was induced into labour that she was going to be induced and i asked her if she needs anything or wants me there, she said there isnt anything she needs and she said not to come and said it can take days until our son is born. 4 hours after this text she had given birth, but i had not been told this, and i had missed my sons birth. I recieve a text from bitter mother the next day that "he is here now come and see him". I was the last person to be contacted, her friends and family were all notifed immediatley, but they willingly contacted me late knowing that i wanted to be there (not in delivery room but in the hospital). The friends and family all saw my son before me and i knew this because of social media posts. I travelled from birmingham to london imediatly to see our son. When i arrived at the hospital, I was bitter because i was notifed last so i decided not to speak to her family and friends and see my son as the nurses allowed me. Upon picking up my son, My exs grandmother, my sons great grand mother, said "he will not be raised muslim, this is england not india, we dont do that here", her mother then proceedes to say he will eat what his grandmother feeds him, knowing i want my son to be muslim and eat halal food. She says why werent you here earlier, why are you here hours later making out to seem that i was some neglectful father who didnt care, her grand mother then policed me on how to pick up my child, how to hold him and how to change nappies, and threatend to kick me out, the nurse overheard this and said to her that i have a right to be here and i have 24hrs viewing access. then there was silence.
. They kept sayiing you should have been in london already we told you to book an airbnb in london, but i planned on booking it the day she was going into labour as that is when my paternity leave was due to start, i could not afford to pay a 300-400 so i can be there a week early.
I couldnt speak to my ex when I was at the hospital as they were in seperate wards, my son was in a special care unit and she was in her ward. So i spent a few hours with him. After the day had finished, it was too late and she had gone to sleep so i didnt want to disturb her so i went to my the hotel i booked.
I sent my ex a nice text saying thank you for delivering our son .etc and send gifts and flowers. I told her that my friends and family are coming down the next day from birmingham to see him. I walk into the hospital, and my exs mother started swearing at me saying im so horrible for not speaking to my ex after she had just given birth, and kept portaying me to be a cunt, she said that the messages and gifts dont mean anything even though my intentions in my text were me being grateful and thankful for the delivery of our son. She said your family and friends arent allowed to come, they have no right to be here, and said that she is going to get me banned from seeing my son if they come. I didnt believe or take serious what she said so ignored her and went to see my ex who was now with our son. my ex didnt speak to me once even though i tried to speak. A few hours later i went to grab lunch, and my family had already set of at this time. I told my ex that they are coming down to see him, and she said no, they dont have her permission to our son, eventhough no one from her side asked for my permission to vist and take photos. I couldnt believe what she was saying, she said that I couldnt see him at this point. Her mother overheard this, and said they she will ban them from coming but i laughed saying how and why are they doing this? I then get told that they will raise a safeguarding claim so im not allowed in the hospital. after my lunch i call the the head nurse to see if he is okay and if i can come down, and i am told that there is a safe guarding claim, and i cannot see my son, and they cannot dicuss anything about him to me as i am not on the birth certficate/i am not married. Eventhough this safeguarding claim is absolutely fictiuous. My family arrive and i had to turn them away. Since that day (2nd day of son being born), I have not seen him or heard of him. My ex has gone no contact and is not replying to any of my texts even though has read them. Throughout this entire situation my friends advised me to "bite my tongue and keep a level head" and ignore the abuse as it isnt the time or the place to have such discussions.
In navigating this challenging situation, my main concern is ensuring my son's well-being and maintaining a meaningful presence in his life. Despite my efforts to communicate and explore mediation options, my ex-partner's lack of response has added to the complexity of the situation.
Given the circumstances, I'm seriously considering seeking either full custody of my son, shared custody if that is a thing in the UK. I don't have access to the birth certificate but I know that they have no disclosed me on it. I've gathered compelling evidence regarding my ex-partner's living situation and behaviors, including substance abuse and instability within her household. It's clear that my son's best interests are at stake, and I'm committed to providing him with a safe and nurturing environment.
In terms of my own situation, I'm fortunate to have stable housing, financial stability, and flexibility in my schedule due to being a full-time student with part-time work (1 year left until i am a full time teacher, she isnt working and does not plan to and live on social welfare for the foreseeable future). I'm prepared to provide the stability and support that my son needs.
As I weigh my options, I'm considering pursuing shared custody initially, with the possibility of addressing schooling arrangements in court later on. Alternatively, I'm contemplating seeking full custody from the outset, given the concerns about my ex-partner's ability to provide a suitable environment for our son's upbringing. I do not want to take my child away completely from his mother as this is not right/islamic at all, I want us to coparent effectively so our son is raised with both parents. but this no contact thing makes it seem impossible. she has rejected to showing me the birth certificate and refused medations, (the mediator called her)
Ultimately, my chances of winning full custody will depend on various factors, including the strength of the evidence I've gathered and the court's assessment of what is in my son's best interests. Seeking guidance from a legal expert who specialises in family law will be crucial as I navigate this process.
My primary focus remains on ensuring that my son receives the love, care, and stability he deserves, regardless of the legal complexities involved.
Update: I have also contacted the police about the abusive behaviours from the my ex's mother. Id like to also mention that my son has a serious heart defect, and my exs mother is a habitual smoker regularly smoking cannabis and cigarettes, which is not ideal and can worsen his heart. he is due for an operation but I don't know when this is but I know its within the coming months. but I do not want him in a household that will hurt his health due to innapproiate care.
2024.05.14 20:31 ReferendumAutonomic Whistleblower retaliation
whistleblower
"In medicine, whistleblowers face institutional denial, stonewalling, retaliation, and other kinds of reprisal. They expose coercive recruitment practices, conflicts of interest, weak protocols, and missing consent." I'm a whistleblower against long island jewish northwell monopoly's False Claims Act insurance fraud since October 2005 and especially 2014+. For example July 2019 lydia pemberton chemically restrained 5 times including a needle to my neck, to obstruct a police report of racism and rape threats. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/side-effects/202405/whistleblowers-and-medical-fraud-a-book-reviewhelicopter parenting
depression, "felt stifled by parental expectations. Despite family support, Ms. A perceived a lack of autonomy in decision-making, which aggravated her feelings of frustration." https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/making-sense-of-movement-disorders/ I have strict tiger parents.children
"federal investigation alleges the state (rhode island) has kept children in state care hospitalized at Bradley Hospital, an acute-care psychiatric facility, for longer than necessary by not providing them with the services they need outside the hospital." https://thepublicsradio.org/health/federal-investigation-alleges-ri-warehouses-children-in-psychiatric-treatment/patient's bill of rights
"May 14, 2024 at 7:30 p.m., 7 News Detroit is going to be streaming a virtual roundtable about your rights in a psychiatric hospital on our website." https://www.wxyz.com/news/watch-tuesday-virtual-roundtable-what-are-your-rights-in-a-psychiatric-hospitalbritain, "4. Right to safe medical products and their safe and rational use." Definitely unsafe chemicals. https://blog.bham.ac.uk/lawresearch/2024/05/patient-safety-rights-in-the-nhs-in-england/
sexual harassment
china, "13.8% (n = 151) of the psychiatrists reported SH, with 5.8% reporting it once, 4.4% reporting it twice, and 3.6% reporting it three times or more." https://www.dovepress.com/sexual-harassment-among-chinese-psychiatrists-and-its-impact-on-qualit-peer-reviewed-fulltext-article-RMHPtreatment over objection
massachusetts, "he was denied the assistance of counsel when his lawyer was denied the opportunity to make a closing argument. For the reasons discussed below, we vacate the commitment." https://archive.is/MvpaPtrans
"‘Are they mentally stable enough to go to a wisdom tooth extraction right now?’ An elective surgery thing or something where they can both give consent and can cope with an unexpected event...journal Transgender Health found that 58% of the transgender population had at least one psychiatric diagnosis." Some of these doctors' argument is mentally ill people cannot consent to becoming trans. "WPATH’s Global Education Institute (GEI), Knudson said that while it varies “case by case,” schizophrenic patients can consent to cross-sex procedures." https://dailycaller.com/2024/05/14/wpath-tapes-mental-illness-hormones/ https://dailycaller.com/2024/05/14/wpath-tapes-schizophrenic-sex-change-surgeries/personal experiences
May 13 6 PM mother said psych wards aren't prisons.2024.05.14 19:27 Adventurous_Net_3734 Got our first missionary visit as ex-mo's!
Apparently enough time has passed since telling our bishop that we no longer believe in the church. We got a knock at the door and it was the elders. They immediately asked if I was Brother Adams (meaning they were sent to us by someone in the ward). I said I was and invited them in.
They essentially shared their latest member message that they recycle through everyone. It was about making the home a spiritual safe haven for our family. They kept asking what we can do daily, weekly, monthly etc to make our home a temple.
We kept skirting around the questions and saying secular things that we're trying to implement in our family. Rituals like eating dinner together without phones, going up the canyon once a week for "FHE" and things like that.
Finally, they pushed so hard and so many times to get a church answer that I said, "Look guys, we don't believe in God anymore so the things we're talking about are all going to be secular spirituality." You should have seen their eyes widen like deer in headlights. Poor guys haha.
I know I was annoying as a missionary but I still feel like I could read the room. These guys could not be swayed from their talk track no matter how many times we gently suggested we weren't going to give church answers.
I feel like missionaries are equipped to deal with investigators and with people who are not going to church because they don't feel like it. I don't think the church equips missionaries very well to deal with people who know all the garbage and made a conscious choice to leave and/or remove their records.
submitted by Adventurous_Net_3734 to exmormon [link] [comments]
They essentially shared their latest member message that they recycle through everyone. It was about making the home a spiritual safe haven for our family. They kept asking what we can do daily, weekly, monthly etc to make our home a temple.
We kept skirting around the questions and saying secular things that we're trying to implement in our family. Rituals like eating dinner together without phones, going up the canyon once a week for "FHE" and things like that.
Finally, they pushed so hard and so many times to get a church answer that I said, "Look guys, we don't believe in God anymore so the things we're talking about are all going to be secular spirituality." You should have seen their eyes widen like deer in headlights. Poor guys haha.
I know I was annoying as a missionary but I still feel like I could read the room. These guys could not be swayed from their talk track no matter how many times we gently suggested we weren't going to give church answers.
I feel like missionaries are equipped to deal with investigators and with people who are not going to church because they don't feel like it. I don't think the church equips missionaries very well to deal with people who know all the garbage and made a conscious choice to leave and/or remove their records.
2024.05.14 19:23 t-rexcellent Ward 3 Bike Advocates Invite You to Celebrate Bike to Work Day -- Group Ride Down Connecticut Avenue + Pit Stop in Cleveland Park
Bike to Work Day is coming up on Friday, May 17th! This region-wide event encourages people to try bike commuting and see how much nicer it can be than sitting stuck in traffic to get to work. Many people who try Bike to Work Day become full time bike commuters!
The Ward 3 Bike Advocates (W3BA) are celebrating Bike to Work Day in two ways -- with a pit stop for bike commuters in front of the Uptown Theater in Cleveland Park, and with a group bike ride (or “convoy”) down Connecticut Avenue. By riding in a group, it will be much safer than riding by yourself, and can give you a preview of how safe and easy it would be to get around if there were protected bike lanes on Connecticut Avenue. We’ll go at a slow pace and make several stops to pick up additional riders. You can meet us at any of the stops below, just note what time we are leaving each stop.
The full planned schedule is:
W3BA will be using Bike to Work Day to draw attention to the incredibly unsafe design of Connecticut Avenue and Mayor Bowser’s recent decision to scrap a plan that would have made the road much safer. Protected bike lanes and other needed safety improvements would encourage far more commuters and families to bike on CT Ave instead of driving and help them get to jobs downtown, schools in Ward 3, and events all around the area. You can learn more about the recent decision and sign our petition calling on the city to build bike lanes at http://bit.ly/CTAvePetition
See you on the road! Feel free to let me know if you have any questions. The more people we can get on the ride and the more people we can get at the pit stop, the better, so please feel free to join us if you have time!
submitted by t-rexcellent to bikedc [link] [comments]
The Ward 3 Bike Advocates (W3BA) are celebrating Bike to Work Day in two ways -- with a pit stop for bike commuters in front of the Uptown Theater in Cleveland Park, and with a group bike ride (or “convoy”) down Connecticut Avenue. By riding in a group, it will be much safer than riding by yourself, and can give you a preview of how safe and easy it would be to get around if there were protected bike lanes on Connecticut Avenue. We’ll go at a slow pace and make several stops to pick up additional riders. You can meet us at any of the stops below, just note what time we are leaving each stop.
The full planned schedule is:
- Meet up at the Chevy Chase Safeway parking lot: 7:30
- Leave Chevy Chase at 7:40
- Arrive in front of Italian Bar (across the street from Politics and Prose) at 7:50
- Leave Italian Bar at 8:00
- Arrive at Van Ness Metro (west side of CT) at 8:10
- Leave Van Ness Metro at 8:20
- Arrive at the Uptown Pitstop at 8:25
- PITSTOP BREAK! 20 minutes
- Leave the Uptown at 8:45
W3BA will be using Bike to Work Day to draw attention to the incredibly unsafe design of Connecticut Avenue and Mayor Bowser’s recent decision to scrap a plan that would have made the road much safer. Protected bike lanes and other needed safety improvements would encourage far more commuters and families to bike on CT Ave instead of driving and help them get to jobs downtown, schools in Ward 3, and events all around the area. You can learn more about the recent decision and sign our petition calling on the city to build bike lanes at http://bit.ly/CTAvePetition
See you on the road! Feel free to let me know if you have any questions. The more people we can get on the ride and the more people we can get at the pit stop, the better, so please feel free to join us if you have time!
2024.05.14 13:41 lukappaa A complete guide for cheesing single battles with Durant
Some of you will already know about this method and must have abused it to the ground, but for those who don't, here's a simple way to make all single battles incredibly easier.
Setting up the strategy
As soon as you unlock North Obsidia Ward, enter the nightclub and get the TM for Protect. The nightclub is open from 8 pm to 4 am, so wait or change your system clock accordingly. While Protect is generally good overall, it becomes even better when we will be done.
Before the Blacksteam Factory raid, tell Ace your favourite nature is Jolly. It's one of the two ways to obtain a Jolly Mint early if you don't have the mint package from the start of the game, obtainable with the passwords "mintyfresh" or "agiftfromace". You can also declare Timid, Naive or Hasty as we won't really need any other stat, but Jolly lowers the one stat Durant doesn't really need anyway.
Progress through the game normally until you reach Tanzan Mountain. The game will eventually require you to raid a Meteor base, which will unlock Depths halfway through. However, make sure to have the following ready BEFORE entering the final room in the hideout:
As soon as you enter the Depths, look for any Durant and capture it, then add it to your party (very important) and check its Speed IVs. Optimally, we want a Durant with 31 Speed IVs, and there is no other way to manipulate this number. If that value isn't 31, reload your save, mash through the dialogue and try again, in order not to waste resources. It can be a bit tedious, but I couldn't make it any easier.
When you find a Durant with 31 Speed IVs, check its Nature and ability. If its nature increases Speed, leave it as is, otherwise, use the Jolly Mint. If its ability isn't Truant, use the Capsule and make sure it has Truant. At the level you encounter them, they should also know the move Entrainment: whatever you do, make sure Durant knows that move at ALL times, as it's required for the strategy to work.
(*) With your newfound Durant, make your way out of the Depths. If you want to train up Durant, make sure that, whatever you do, the total EVs acquired in all stats other than Speed does NOT exceed 258 for any reason. This may look very specific, but there's a reason for this and we'll see it in a moment.
Whenever you have access to the overworld again, get back to Beryl Ward. Head up to the northern grass and equip the Macho Brace to Durant. If you have access to Pokérus, set your Pokérus mon on the second slot of the team with Durant on the first, then enter and run away from wild battles until Durant is infected as well.
We now want to knock out Spearow, Fearow and Fletchling until Durant reaches the cap of 252 Speed EVs. This explains the number I mentioned before: if your total amount of EVs in all stats other than Speed is 259 or above, Durant won't be able to acquire 252 Speed EVs, as they cap at 510. If you have access to EV-reducing berries from the Department Store, you can also use them to free space if needed, but if you don't because you didn't get the stickers, pay attention.
Spearow and Fletchling give 1 Speed EV each, while Fearow gives 2. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks: the Macho Brace was buffed to give you 8x the normal amount of EVs after a battle, meaning it will take you far less battles to reach the cap than in a vanilla game. Moreover, if you have the Pokérus, you can stack another 5x multiplier for a total of 32x the normal amount of EVs, meaning you can max out your Speed after 4 Fearow fights.
When all of this is done, get any mon with a setup move and slap Protect onto it, and we can move on to explaining how the cheese works.
Battle strategy
You may wonder, why did we go through all of this to end up with a lazy ant? Here's your explanation. Remember, this strategy will NOT work in double battles.
Reborn's CPU is more advanced than the regular games' CPU, as it performs certain action you would normally not see in the main series. One of these is switching out if you lock them with Encore into a move that doesn't deal any damage, which the vanilla CPU doesn't do. However, there is an edge case that wasn't taken into account and that we are going to fully exploit and take advantage of.
With its super-high Speed, Durant is able to use Entrainment and give the ability Truant to any mon whose ability can be overwritten. Notably, this cuts out a few selected mons like Mimikyu, Aegislash, Minior or Wishiwashi. If you do manage to give Truant to the opponent, however, this won't count as one of those instances that make the CPU force a switch. And this will be their downfall.
After you click Entrainment, assuming Durant moves first (which is very likely), there are two possible outcomes: Durant survives, or Durant faints.
If Durant survives: Switch in your setup sweeper. You are guaranteed to have a safe switch as the opponent will loaf around on that turn. On the following turn, click Protect to neutralize whatever move they will go for, then click your setup move once, then Protect again. Keep this loop going until you are fully set up. Now you can immediately attack if you don't fear to be knocked out or wait for the next loafing turn.
If Durant faints: Switch in your setup sweeper, click your setup move, then Protect, then setup, rinse and repeat. The only difference between this instance and the previous one is the Protect timing, which is simple to remember but ruins the entire strategy if you get it wrong.
Note that you are not strictly required to give Truant to their lead mon. You can pinpoint any single mon that respects all the following requisites: - does not have a move that switches out the user like U-turn, Baton Pass or Volt Switch - does not outspeed and OHKO Durant, unless you have a Focus Sash available - does not end up in a position where the CPU will switch it out (make sure whatever you give Truant to ALWAYS has a way to damage your setup sweeper, otherwise the CPU will switch!).
As a final note, every setup sweeper has its weaknesses. If your setup sweeper is frail and your opponent has a priority move or Focus Sash/Sturdy, consider knocking that mon out before going for the Truant strategy on a safer target. Always consider what you opponent is bringing in order to pick the mon that suits best for the job.
And that's all! Let me know if I made any glaring omission or if you have other tips or questions.
submitted by lukappaa to PokemonReborn [link] [comments]
Setting up the strategy
As soon as you unlock North Obsidia Ward, enter the nightclub and get the TM for Protect. The nightclub is open from 8 pm to 4 am, so wait or change your system clock accordingly. While Protect is generally good overall, it becomes even better when we will be done.
Before the Blacksteam Factory raid, tell Ace your favourite nature is Jolly. It's one of the two ways to obtain a Jolly Mint early if you don't have the mint package from the start of the game, obtainable with the passwords "mintyfresh" or "agiftfromace". You can also declare Timid, Naive or Hasty as we won't really need any other stat, but Jolly lowers the one stat Durant doesn't really need anyway.
Progress through the game normally until you reach Tanzan Mountain. The game will eventually require you to raid a Meteor base, which will unlock Depths halfway through. However, make sure to have the following ready BEFORE entering the final room in the hideout:
- a decent supply of Pokéballs, of any kind (I'd suggest 10 across the board at minimum)
- at least 1 Ability Capsule (the game will give you a couple of them before this point)
- the Jolly Mint you should have acquired before
- the Macho Brace item
- any mon with a setup move.
- (optional but highly recommended) a mon infected with Pokérus in your PC.
As soon as you enter the Depths, look for any Durant and capture it, then add it to your party (very important) and check its Speed IVs. Optimally, we want a Durant with 31 Speed IVs, and there is no other way to manipulate this number. If that value isn't 31, reload your save, mash through the dialogue and try again, in order not to waste resources. It can be a bit tedious, but I couldn't make it any easier.
When you find a Durant with 31 Speed IVs, check its Nature and ability. If its nature increases Speed, leave it as is, otherwise, use the Jolly Mint. If its ability isn't Truant, use the Capsule and make sure it has Truant. At the level you encounter them, they should also know the move Entrainment: whatever you do, make sure Durant knows that move at ALL times, as it's required for the strategy to work.
(*) With your newfound Durant, make your way out of the Depths. If you want to train up Durant, make sure that, whatever you do, the total EVs acquired in all stats other than Speed does NOT exceed 258 for any reason. This may look very specific, but there's a reason for this and we'll see it in a moment.
Whenever you have access to the overworld again, get back to Beryl Ward. Head up to the northern grass and equip the Macho Brace to Durant. If you have access to Pokérus, set your Pokérus mon on the second slot of the team with Durant on the first, then enter and run away from wild battles until Durant is infected as well.
We now want to knock out Spearow, Fearow and Fletchling until Durant reaches the cap of 252 Speed EVs. This explains the number I mentioned before: if your total amount of EVs in all stats other than Speed is 259 or above, Durant won't be able to acquire 252 Speed EVs, as they cap at 510. If you have access to EV-reducing berries from the Department Store, you can also use them to free space if needed, but if you don't because you didn't get the stickers, pay attention.
Spearow and Fletchling give 1 Speed EV each, while Fearow gives 2. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks: the Macho Brace was buffed to give you 8x the normal amount of EVs after a battle, meaning it will take you far less battles to reach the cap than in a vanilla game. Moreover, if you have the Pokérus, you can stack another 5x multiplier for a total of 32x the normal amount of EVs, meaning you can max out your Speed after 4 Fearow fights.
When all of this is done, get any mon with a setup move and slap Protect onto it, and we can move on to explaining how the cheese works.
Battle strategy
You may wonder, why did we go through all of this to end up with a lazy ant? Here's your explanation. Remember, this strategy will NOT work in double battles.
Reborn's CPU is more advanced than the regular games' CPU, as it performs certain action you would normally not see in the main series. One of these is switching out if you lock them with Encore into a move that doesn't deal any damage, which the vanilla CPU doesn't do. However, there is an edge case that wasn't taken into account and that we are going to fully exploit and take advantage of.
With its super-high Speed, Durant is able to use Entrainment and give the ability Truant to any mon whose ability can be overwritten. Notably, this cuts out a few selected mons like Mimikyu, Aegislash, Minior or Wishiwashi. If you do manage to give Truant to the opponent, however, this won't count as one of those instances that make the CPU force a switch. And this will be their downfall.
After you click Entrainment, assuming Durant moves first (which is very likely), there are two possible outcomes: Durant survives, or Durant faints.
If Durant survives: Switch in your setup sweeper. You are guaranteed to have a safe switch as the opponent will loaf around on that turn. On the following turn, click Protect to neutralize whatever move they will go for, then click your setup move once, then Protect again. Keep this loop going until you are fully set up. Now you can immediately attack if you don't fear to be knocked out or wait for the next loafing turn.
If Durant faints: Switch in your setup sweeper, click your setup move, then Protect, then setup, rinse and repeat. The only difference between this instance and the previous one is the Protect timing, which is simple to remember but ruins the entire strategy if you get it wrong.
Note that you are not strictly required to give Truant to their lead mon. You can pinpoint any single mon that respects all the following requisites: - does not have a move that switches out the user like U-turn, Baton Pass or Volt Switch - does not outspeed and OHKO Durant, unless you have a Focus Sash available - does not end up in a position where the CPU will switch it out (make sure whatever you give Truant to ALWAYS has a way to damage your setup sweeper, otherwise the CPU will switch!).
As a final note, every setup sweeper has its weaknesses. If your setup sweeper is frail and your opponent has a priority move or Focus Sash/Sturdy, consider knocking that mon out before going for the Truant strategy on a safer target. Always consider what you opponent is bringing in order to pick the mon that suits best for the job.
And that's all! Let me know if I made any glaring omission or if you have other tips or questions.
2024.05.14 12:54 DrYangHF7 Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door healed my MG after 3 ICU visits (重症肌无力)
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.
submitted by DrYangHF7 to CittaPureLand [link] [comments]
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
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2024-05-11
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2024.05.14 08:52 AncientPC Thoughts and tips after climbing to 10k in 2 weeks.
Yes, I had a lot of time. I originally played this game when it launched during the pandemic and stopped at 1k trophies, and picked it up again ~3 years later. I want to share my thoughts about the last ~15 days while it's still fresh and answer any questions people might have.
I have a 43% win rate in 3600 BR games, and 300+ games with each of the following heroes: Angel, Bastion, Blizzard, Blot, Cyclops, Ghost, Levi, Lynx, Ramsay, Raven, Sparkle, Vi. I have the most fun with Angel, Raven, Ramsay, and Lynx.
I've unlocked every hero except Alice, paid for Blizzard and Vi.
There's still plenty of bots in offpeak hours.
Early on when I was around 2k, I teamed up with some high trophy players and played in 10k games. That's when I learned first hand how much faster and aggressive the game was. On certain maps (Bank, Village, Hotel), fights will often initiate after picking up ~2 items.
As for bad manners, I'm used to it from playing plenty of other online games but enjoyed the fact that Bullet Echo largely doesn't have it. However at 7k+, now you get a lot of people bm'ing when they kill you, if two people fight over an item, etc. It most commonly manifests as sprays/stickers, but also a lot of head shaking and the occasional teamkill grenade for taking "their" item.
Pickup teams are a lot more mercenary. People join up, and if the team loses most will leave; there's little to no chat banter anymore. If someone misplays a few times, they often get kicked from the team, the team is disbanded, and/or they get defriended. This, uhh, has totally never happened to me.
The games are fast and brutal, and any small mistake is quickly exploited. My winrate has dropped significantly even when playing my better characters, but I'm learning. Pre-10k, I'd typically open 3x battle and skull chests under 30 minutes. Now, opening battle/skull chests and winning contracts has become significantly harder.
Outplaying Bastion is usually done through kiting or baiting and flanking with teammates since their range is too short and movement speed is too slow. Bastion (and Blot to an extent) is outclassed by more mobile shield heroes: Angel, Hurricane, Satoshi.
Leviathan gets a special call out since his turret is great for zoning and has extended spray that can be abused to hit behind walls.
I also have some bad experiences after teaming up with a bunch of Vi-only tryhards (about 6-8 different teammates for 5+ games each). They're generally incredibly aggressive and good at racking up a high kill count, but often lack map awareness or team dynamics besides spamming, "Let's go!"
I think there is an argument to be made about staying in purple 1. I found it significantly easier to win most of the contracts at purple 1, but I was grouped with all the other grinders once I hit purple 2. This might be a red herring though.
I think it's great for the first month or two for the personal gear and drone parts, but not sure if it's worth keeping afterwards.
I find sabo, SvS, and sometimes arcade in offpeak hours (or other region's servers) the easiest modes for bot farming.
Generally bots will collect a few items and start roaming looking for enemies. If a firefight ensues, the bots will start swarming towards noise like zombies.
The best characters to farm bots are those that can do a lot of damage without taking any themselves. Since bots will run in a straight line towards you, assault rifles and snipers excel at bot farming.
submitted by AncientPC to BulletEchoGame [link] [comments]
I have a 43% win rate in 3600 BR games, and 300+ games with each of the following heroes: Angel, Bastion, Blizzard, Blot, Cyclops, Ghost, Levi, Lynx, Ramsay, Raven, Sparkle, Vi. I have the most fun with Angel, Raven, Ramsay, and Lynx.
I've unlocked every hero except Alice, paid for Blizzard and Vi.
Trophy Tiers
Broadly speaking, the percentage of poor players decreases as you gain higher trophies. Being completely honest, I saw a bunch of mistakes made by enemies, teammates, and myself at 9k trophies. At 10k+ trophies, most of the mistakes I see are my own.Low Tier: <3k
I have a second account on an old phone at this tier that I use to play under powered / rarely used heroes in casual games. It's mostly bots and occasional humans with rudimentary gameplay.Mid Tier: 3-7k
People are still misplaying all the time, but in general are improving and trying to coordinate as a team. Pickup teams are pretty easy to create and people are generally friendly. Honestly, I probably had the most fun at this tier since I enjoy playing the game casually with a variety of heroes and different team compositions (vs trying to win all the time).There's still plenty of bots in offpeak hours.
High Tier: >7k
This is the first tier where it starts to get competitive. Relatedly, this is also the first tier I started seeing bad manners and griefing.Early on when I was around 2k, I teamed up with some high trophy players and played in 10k games. That's when I learned first hand how much faster and aggressive the game was. On certain maps (Bank, Village, Hotel), fights will often initiate after picking up ~2 items.
As for bad manners, I'm used to it from playing plenty of other online games but enjoyed the fact that Bullet Echo largely doesn't have it. However at 7k+, now you get a lot of people bm'ing when they kill you, if two people fight over an item, etc. It most commonly manifests as sprays/stickers, but also a lot of head shaking and the occasional teamkill grenade for taking "their" item.
Pickup teams are a lot more mercenary. People join up, and if the team loses most will leave; there's little to no chat banter anymore. If someone misplays a few times, they often get kicked from the team, the team is disbanded, and/or they get defriended. This, uhh, has totally never happened to me.
10k
The "end game." Heroes' power typically ranges 1650 - 2200 (Ultimate level 70 to Immortal), with the occasional Divine player. There's relatively few bots during peak times.The games are fast and brutal, and any small mistake is quickly exploited. My winrate has dropped significantly even when playing my better characters, but I'm learning. Pre-10k, I'd typically open 3x battle and skull chests under 30 minutes. Now, opening battle/skull chests and winning contracts has become significantly harder.
Bravery Road
I don't have any experience with this tier since I lack Divine heroes. Others have shared that it's mostly full of bots.Heroes
Tier List
This is based on 9k+ trophy BR in the hands of a good player:- S: Vi, Lynx, Mirage, Arnie
- A: Blizzard, Ramsay, Raven, Dragoon, Angel, Freddie
- B: Firefly, Shenji, Ghost, Alice, Leviathan, Hurricane, Satoshi, Sparkle, Tess, Levi
- C: Blot, Bertha, Doc, Cyclops, Slayer
- D: Bastion, Stalker, Smog
Hero Investment
First off, invest in heroes that you enjoy playing regardless of tier lists. If you want recommendations for <7k gameplay, here's my list:- Vi, Lynx: A class in most game modes and high tier effectiveness.
- Levi: she is A class for koth (camp and use ability in the final 1v1), and a solid B class in multiple modes: farming bots, sabo, low-mid tier BR. Satoshi is a good alternative.
- Bastion: he is A class for low-mid tier Bsabo/bot farming, and B class for low-mid koth. Don't get too attached though because his effectiveness drops off a cliff at 7k+ (more below).
- Hurricane: shotgunner with a shield and high tier effectiveness.
- Firefly/Blot: Blot's easier to learn snipers and farm bots/sabo in a more campy store, while Firefly has a higher skill ceiling and a more aggressive sniper.
- Ghost: He's probably the easiest SMG to learn with his cloak ability. Angel is better for long term usability and bot farming, but requires better map awareness and teammate coordination.
Bastion
Bastion is great for bot farming and low / mid tier gameplay, but is easily outplayed in 7k+ games. I had a bunch of mid tier Bastion friends that I invited to 7k+ games and they've always left after a few games due to being outplayed.Outplaying Bastion is usually done through kiting or baiting and flanking with teammates since their range is too short and movement speed is too slow. Bastion (and Blot to an extent) is outclassed by more mobile shield heroes: Angel, Hurricane, Satoshi.
Leviathan gets a special call out since his turret is great for zoning and has extended spray that can be abused to hit behind walls.
Grenade Users (Firefly/Shenji/Sparkles/Freddie)
Pre-10k, most of these are terrible nade spammers hoping to get an easy kill. I've seen so many Firefly users use more nades than bullets in a round, adding little value chucking nades into thin air. Shenji users, please use your nades to zone the enemies and less about trying to kill them. Also stop burning the grass because you can, especially when you're up against snipers.Vi
My win rate with Vi is significantly higher than the rest of the field, which shows how broken she is. I think she needs to be nerfed, and she's my most played and highest leveled character (Stellar).I also have some bad experiences after teaming up with a bunch of Vi-only tryhards (about 6-8 different teammates for 5+ games each). They're generally incredibly aggressive and good at racking up a high kill count, but often lack map awareness or team dynamics besides spamming, "Let's go!"
Tips
League
Climb as fast as you can, as high as you can since you get more loot per chest depending on your league level, and streaking gets harder the higher you climb in trophies. Bot farming (read below) is the easiest way to streak games and hit the next league level.I think there is an argument to be made about staying in purple 1. I found it significantly easier to win most of the contracts at purple 1, but I was grouped with all the other grinders once I hit purple 2. This might be a red herring though.
Resources
- Long term the limitations are: nuts, drone resources, personal gear copies
- Gold, batteries, and 💵 currency (to an extent) is relatively abundant.
- There is a limit to watching ads per 8-12 hr period. If you're going to grind, save the ad watching for 2x battle/skull chests.
- Hero cards are distributed evenly over obtained heroes. My Supreme Shenji, Mythic Levitation, and a dozen Rare and Epic heroes all have enough cards to upgrade to Ultimate level 70 (my average level across all heroes). Recently obtained characters will appear more often in battle/skull chests until they reach the average number of cards across all heroes. My most recently unlocked hero—Mirage—is already at Ultimate level 70 in less than a week despite giving her 0 jokers. This probably means we're going to see a lot more Vi's in low/mid tier games.
Spending Money
Contracts
- 7 day contract hacks (and assuming you have enough time to grind) is the most effective use of money.
- Consistently winning the 21 hr contract for 300 jokers is critical.
- 3 hr contract (particularly in off hours) can be pretty easy to win for 20 jokers.
- Read the contracts carefully. Often you can use a hero to progress against 2 or more contracts simultaneously.
- Bot farming and SvS is usually the easiest way to quickly get contract points.
- Ghost in koth is a great way to grind "The Collector" contract.
- A lot of people in the top 3 will try to snipe the contract in the final hours. You can check their profile to see if they're online and contract leaderboard if their scores are increasing. I've lost a lot of sleep defending my #1 spot in the 2 day and 1 week contracts.
- I've given up on winning contracts and buying contract hacks anymore since the 10k games are significantly harder and I'm burnt out.
Star Pass
- I don't mind spending $15 to get the new hero via the base pass, but I don't think the premium pass is worth it.
- I didn't get tiers 2 and 3 for Vi but still got her to Stellar with a lot of grinding via contract hacks and jokers.
Technology
It's $10/mo. You get a random hero motivated and 8 drone plugins (2 of each color) per week, and 10 tech tokens/day. 70 tech tokens/week is enough to get drone blueprints, 2xpersonal gears boxes, some squad gear, 500 nuts, and 5 costume tokens. Also your name is highlighted in gold.I think it's great for the first month or two for the personal gear and drone parts, but not sure if it's worth keeping afterwards.
Bots
Recognizing bots means you can adapt your strategy when playing with and against them.Identification
Pre-game
- bot syndicates: RedSuns, CCCP, BoDammit, BIOS, Psychonauts, MotherOfBot, Botsavethequeen, 486DX, etc
- listed after human players
- don't have drones
- never play as the newer characters: Blizzard, Vi, Shenji, Ramsay, Lynx, Tess
In game
- immediately opens chests
- goes in a straight line while swinging their flashlight, humans tend to run with their flashlight facing forward except when checking corners
- doesn't use any abilities
Farming (BR, SvS, sabo, koth)
Bot farming is a great way to hit the streak for a league jump or grind for festival tokens.I find sabo, SvS, and sometimes arcade in offpeak hours (or other region's servers) the easiest modes for bot farming.
Generally bots will collect a few items and start roaming looking for enemies. If a firefight ensues, the bots will start swarming towards noise like zombies.
The best characters to farm bots are those that can do a lot of damage without taking any themselves. Since bots will run in a straight line towards you, assault rifles and snipers excel at bot farming.
- Recommended heroes: Bastion, Satoshi, Blot, Hurricane, Levi, Firefly, Blizzard, Cyclops
- Not recommended: Ghost/Stalker (bots are unaffected by cloak), Slayer (fire rate is too slow), SMG users (can't reload fast enough when swarmed)
As teammates
It sucks to get bots as teammates, but if you understand their behavior you can take advantage of it to try and win the round.- don't get sucked into unnecessary fights, let them die and don't bother reviving
- use them as dumb scouts to flank the enemy
- treat the round as a training exercise on how to win one-vs-many fights. It'll happen more and more often as you climb trophies
Drones
- medpro is great for tanks, assault rifles, and attacking SMGs (Angel, Alice, Freddie, Ghost)
- zenith is great for snipers, Raven/Ghost, 10k+ games
- guard is useless except for the occasional ability to zone enemies
In game tactics
This is already a long post, so I'll brain dump common improvements / mistakes that I come across. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.- Don't be greedy and go after risky upgrades/chests. More often than not you're going to get sucked into an early fight. Even if you win that one, you'll quickly get swarmed by bots and/or other teams. It's not worth losing a round because you might get a purple upgrade. Even if you win the fight with only one downed teammate, they're unlikely to be revived in 7k+ games because everyone nades/camps the drones/bodies so you end up permanently hampered being down a teammate or flanked and wiped trying to revive.
- Don't be greedy for early ammo and upgrades. In 7k+ games, fights can/will happen by the time you've picked up 1-2 items. Taking multiple ammo means losing an effective teammate that can shoot a weapon. If you're a low ammo user (e.g. Vi, Slayer, Bastion), opt for a 2x or 3x ammo pack and leave the 4x ammo pack for high ammo users (e.g. SMGs, assault rifles). Leave and ping optimal upgrades for teammates. This means reserving scopes for snipers, armor for machine gunners, extended magazine for SMG/shotgunners, explosive ammo for DPS.
- Shotgun users should heal at spawn and save the armor pickup for others.
- Generally stick together as a team.
- Don't follow suiciders (bots/humans) and get sucked into unnecessary fights, preferring to fight 2v3v3v3. Yes this conflicts with the above bullet point.
- Learn the map. This means knowing where are the spawns, purple chests, hot zones, and choke points. This means you can anticipate where you'll need to slow down and prepare for a fight (e.g. early game near purple chests between two spawns). In low/mid tiers, human teammates often run straight for a neighboring spawn while completely ignoring the safe purple chest right behind them because they run straight ahead in the direction they were facing when spawned. I find it easiest to familiarize myself with maps by using heroes with high vision like snipers (particularly Lynx) and Raven.
- Develop map awareness. You can tell who is left based on the gun sounds and the weapon in kill notifications. Generally avoid fights with many teams remaining, and go after the last two teams as they're fighting. If machine gunners are remaining, try to find open spaces. If snipers are remaining, try to initiate fights near corners and obstacles. In low/mid tiers, human teammates will often emulate bots and run straight towards the fight with a complete lack of map awareness.
- Good Shenji users use grenades to zone enemies rather than outright damage. Bad Shenji users kill their teammates / prevent them from being useful. If you're playing with a Shenji teammate, expect that they're going to nade everything and act accordingly.
- Tess users should try to use the lightning ball judiciously against enemy shields or to zone, and not disable their teammates' shields and abilities.
- Cyclops/Raven users should not spam their skill early game, and used selectively late game. It gives away your position and in high tier games only invites unwanted attention (weak teams run away and strong teams run/dash/jump towards the scan). Learn to use scan offensively and defensively when appropriate. At higher trophies, it can be used as a feint for an invasion or to lure enemies into a trap.
- Deployed drones can be used as a ward to protect blind spots.
- SMG users should use stimpacks offensively rather than only to heal.
- Be careful about any teammate or enemy that jiggles constantly or spams the jump ability/sound. It's usually a skilled, high apm player with Mirage/Arnie/Dragoon. Your blind spots are not safe.
- There is a time to initiate and time to fall back. In early/mid tiers, people need to learn to retreat more often (and communicate it to their teammates). Don't attack that unsuspecting enemy just because you can, but attack if it's the right time to do so (e.g. the team is in the right place, the enemy team is caught off guard/still recovering from their last fight).