Yesterday for the first time in a long while a girl took lots of interest in making conversation with me at the gym. (We recognized each other from a Bible camp we went too one time. Both of us aren’t religious though.) We were both in the Jacuzzi, when I entered I sat in my lil spot I usually sit in, we start making conversation and suddenly she decides to move right next to me and our conversation got even more enthusiastic.
When I would get up to take a break from the heat, she did as well. When I sat back in, she did as well. When I left the jacuzzi to take a shower, she followed, and we both got ready to leave in our separate locker rooms. Right before we went into our separate locker rooms, I mentioned how her mom looked similar to my exes mother (she was there with her) and she replied with “SO THAT MEANS IF I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND-“… I totally blanked on what she said right after that because I was STUNNED. I thought “Okay she’s definitely into me to some degree.”
When I was in the shower I again thought “Huh. She seemed real interested in me,” and then “It’d be funny if she was actually waiting outside for me.” LOW AND BEHOLD, almost as soon as I got out I was surprised with a “you’re slow.” I thought her jab was pretty funny and I took a shot back and we just went back and forth for a bit. Then she suggests walking me out, we talked outside for a bit. We realized we live REAL close to each other and within walking distance of the gym so I suggested walking with her back home, but her parents had driven her there and they were with her so it was a no go.
I didn’t get her phone number because she’s 17 and I’m 19, but more importantly (IMO) we are going through completely different stages of life so I didn’t want to get involved. Plus I could tell we’re just at a different level of maturity. Still, it honestly felt great and boosted my confidence real nicely for the rest of the day. That’s it. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk!
P.S. I’m really not that great looking. Fully bald (alopecia Totalis), acne, skinny fat, mouth breather side profile. Though, I do have decent conversational skills, and I try to stay excited while being genuinely interested in them.
Have you ever been in a situation like this before?

Greetings! I'd like to reach out to the wider world and extract some insight from other folks with my tendencies. Maybe some of y'all here have professional psychology backgrounds or general knowledge about my particular symptoms.
I'm gonna get straight to the point: I don't enjoy social interactions at all, with the exception of a few very particular circumstances. I don't have any drive or desire to be around people. Simple as.
I live alone. I work remotely in a small town. I don't have friends or pets. I'm single (M27). I even built my own home gym, because I can't stand being around other people.
My typical day mostly consists of the following: Wake up, make coffee, work my shift, get off work, workout at home, take a shower, make dinner, watch YouTube, meditate, go to bed, and repeat... Sprinkle in the rare occasion where I drive to the grocery store to stock up on food and other necessities. Other than that, I never leave my place, with the exception of the occasional visit to the park where I hike the back-trails.
How do I feel about this? I feel just fine, as a matter of fact. I enjoy my solitude. Though, some family members have expressed concerns.
I've gone years without seeing most of my family and even months without communicating with my parents. I DON'T hate them. There's just no drive or desire to be around them - or really anyone.
Social interactions are exhausting to me. I go out of my way to avoid them at all costs. I don't particularly care about what people think or what's going on in their lives. I relate a lot to Ron Swanson when he says, "The less I know about other people, the happier I am."
At the same time, I'm not socially inept either. I can hold conversations quite easily and make people laugh without much effort. I attribute my sharp social skills to having worked a management position for several years before. (I used to work in customer service and sales live in person. Of course, I hated nearly every second of this and would never do this type of job again.).
I'm also not terrible with women. Every now and again, my primordial desire for female company rears it's head. I won't go into detail, but dating apps, like Tinder, have been sufficient at feeding this necessity. Needless to say, my relationships with women don't last long, which is fine for now. I DO desire a long-lasting relationship, but... don't, at the same time. It's weird.
Let's go ahead and start wrapping this up...
I'd like to conclude this post by providing some of my own theories about my own introversion:
One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that I suffer from chronic illnesses and pain that make my life difficult at times. I've been getting treatment from doctors for a while now, which has helped. However, the physical pain never really goes away. It makes my mental state poor. I get easily angry, discouraged, hopeless... Imagine your mental state if you were constantly poked with sharp objects. Pretty crappy, right? I think my chronic illnesses are what primarily drives my desire to be totally alone. I need space. LOTS OF SPACE. All the time.
At the same time, I've always been pretty reclusive as child. I had friends growing up, but my view of friendship has always been utilitarian - something that people do, because... that's what humans do, I suppose. I never maintained my friendly relationships, because as I got older, they lost their use. I moved on.
Obviously, my attitude and asocial behavior have to have a cause. There's something in my brain causing this, otherwise, why would I not fall on the typical, reasonable social spectrum that everyone else does in general?
I'm curious to see if anyone has some sort of insight on my particular case.
Before anyone suggests that I see an actual psychologist or therapist, please know that I am considering doing so. I'm just not in the right place to visit another doctor. Finances are tough these days.
Thank you all for reading. Cheers.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/AITATAsharkymark. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: tentatively hopeful
Original Post: March 16, 2024
I (27M) have two stepbrothers, Justin (30M) and Evan (27M), our parents have been married for 15 years. I was close to be both throughout my teen years, however Evan and I no longer speak since we were 22. This is entirely my fault as I slept with his recent ex-girlfriend. I fucked up and ruined our relationship, and he will likely never speak to me again. I deserve it, and do not blame Evan at all. Justin and my stepmother also didn't speak to me for a couple years.
Evan doesn't want to see me, and so we havent been in the same room since we were 22 either. how this works is basically Evan getting invited first to anything that Justin or our parents are planning, and I am invited if he can't make it. I know it's awkward, and that I've cause this situation, I am just glad to see them at all, so it isn't my place to complain.
Justin is getting married on Monday, and Evan is his best man. Justin and I haven't really talked about the wedding at all, since I'm obviously not invited it would be awkward to do so. I booked a trip overseas during the time of his wedding, to get away instead of being home and sad not to be there. I didn't tell Justin or our parents, because there was no need to bring it up. we all know I wasn't going to be there, and why.
on Friday night Justin tried to call me but I was sleep (middle of the night where I am right now). I got his message this morning asking me to call him, and saying Evan has agreed I could come to the wedding and that he really wants me there. if I was home the wedding would be 45mins away and I'd go in a heartbeat, but im in Europe with a friend from college.
I told Justin that unfortunately I can't make it because I'm away. now he's mad at me for not telling him I was going away, and for all the effort he spent in convincing Evan to let me come. but I never asked him to do that, and I would have told him not to because I don't think its fair to Evan who has sat a boundary. I'm not trying to cause him more pain.
Justin is pissed at me, and blocked me. one of cousins said he's furious, and said like Evan he's through with me. my dad called me later and told me if it's about money he'd buy my ticket home, but I explained its not just about money (although a lot of the trip is unrefundable). if it was just me I'd consider going home, but im traveling with a friend who didn't sign up to be in Europe for 10 days by himself.
My cousins and my dad think I'm being an asshole not coming to the wedding. but I think it's unfair when the wedding is in two days. I know that the situation exists because of my actions, but AITA for not flying back tomorrow to attend the wedding?
edit: i know the majority said im NTA, but i spoke with my friend and im catching a flight home today (Monday) and coming back on Tuesday. I cant lose another brother or the opportunity to see evan. i dont think it was fair to ask, but i cant risk it.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Total NTA and your family are all idiots. You slept with dude’s ex five years ago and they’re still mad? And now they’re mad because you declined a late wedding invitation? That’s just nuts.

OOP: they had dated for 5 years and had been broken up for a month, and he hadn't wanted the relationship to end. it was absolutely wrong of me, and I completely understand why he wants nothing to do with me. he was still in love with her and I knew that, because he was my brother and my best friend. I fucked up, and so I can't be defended for what I did 5 years ago. it was bad, it was wrong. if I could take it back I would. I don't think Evan is overreacting by cutting me out of his life, as much as I miss him and wish I could change it.

Commenter: INFO: Knowing what you did about Evan's feelings and your relationship with him, how did you wind up sleeping with his ex?

OOP: Evan and I hadn't really been getting along for a couple months. (I should have realised once they broke up that the reason he was being a difficult during this time was because he was stressed because of his relationship problems, but I didn't. he just felt like he kept being an ass to me. and then when they broke up and I was trying to be there for him he made comments about how I dont understand because I've never had a gf as great as she was. which, I mean, I hadn't had a longterm gf at that point, and that was a sore spot for me and he knew it. I was trying to be a good brother and support him and he kept being an asshole to me.
I was mad at him and hurt by him. I went out one night, saw her there. we started talking, then we kissed and then went home. what was going through my mind was he said I could never get with a girl like that, so I did it.

Commenter: Your brother doesn't own her. Your entire family is being absolutely ridiculous and have convinced you that it's your fault. I recommend therapy, because this doesn't sound healthy.

OOP: i do have to admit, i am surprised at the number of people that think what i did wasnt that bad. I truly do not hold that position, and its not from my family convincing me. I believe that after they broke up my brother ex could move on and he doesnt have the right to shame her for it or to be mad at her for it (although im not sure what being mad at an ex accomplishes?), but i do truly think that my sleeping with her was wrong. it's not about what she's free to do, its about what i as his brother and friend shouldnt have done. i'd be pissed if the same thing was done to me, idk if it would last for 5 years, but id be mad. again, not mad at her, but mad at him.

Commenter: You are definitely NTA. Kudos on the self-awareness and taking responsibility for your actions. Can your dad buy your travel friend a ticket as well? Would your friend be interested in going to Justin’s wedding?
Seems like a golden opportunity to mend relationships BUT also, by Justin’s immature reaction, maybe the relationship is not ready to be mended yet.

OOP: the thing is, I didn't think Justin and I were in a bad place. he was at my birthday, he invited me to his new year's eve party. it's just known that Evan doesn't want to see me (for I think very justified reasons) and so if he is coming I don't get invited. yes this sucks for me sometimes, but I am the one that fractured the relationship and so this is a side effect of that.

Commenter: OP, what about your dad? Where has he been in all this because it sounds like your dad keeps choosing his wife and her kids over his own kid. I get maybe a month of "you could have been more tactful, son," but not 5 YEARS of letting his son be essentially thrown out of the family for one misguided adventure. And now he is chucking a tantrum because "family" so basically your only family when it suits them. Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your life

OOP: I do stuff with my dad all the time. if he's doing something he always asks me first. but it's also not like he plans a lot of stuff, usually my stepmom plans holidays and so she sends the invites first, and I get it. but like that first Christmas when Justin also wasn't speaking to me and obviously I wasnt invited home, he came to spend lunchtime with me. he never abandoned me.

Commenter: So I have a couple questions- how did step mommy treat you vs her kids when you were younger? Was there contention? I’m getting the feeling she’s the one who’s been behind this elongated estrangement. Probably whispering in Evan’s ear to continue it. I honestly don’t know any dudes who would still be this upset, over 5 years later, about an ex - not ex wife or ex fiancé or mother of child - but ex girlfriend. I saw you commented Evan said something along the lines of “you wouldn’t understand because you’d never get a girl like her” and you pulled a hold my beer moment. Did your step brother’s always treat you and talk down to you condescendingly? Seems like there’s way more to the relationships/dynamics than you’ve let on. Were you always the odd man out at your dad’s house?

OOP: my stepmother never treated me badly. I met her when I was like 10 or 11, and her and my dad got married when I was 12 I think. they didn't move in together until right before the wedding, so she wasn't really helping to raise me until I was 12, which is a little older. it was fine. yeah she was closer to my Justin and Evan and did more for them, but she and I still had our things. the flip side is my dad was closer to and did more for me probably. also, big difference is Justin and Evan lived there full-time, while I was mostly every other week because I also lived with my bio-mom, while Justin and Evan did not have a relationship with their bio-dad, at all. there wasn't contention. I seriously doubt she was encouraging Evan to continue it. when I graduated she was the one hounding me for my graduation picture so she could hang it on the wall.
I know some people have said they don't understand Evan being this mad, for this long, but I think I do. I should start my emphasising since we were 12 we were inseparable, even though I switched houses every other week and we went to different schools. we spent every weekend together. the more that I didn't explain about Evan's relationship is just how close we were. we have matching tattoos on our ass (which Justin refused to get) and upper arm (all three of us).
so around the time of the incident Evan became a real asshole to me. he was mean, condescending, always snapping at me. it had never been our relationship. he said stuff, I'd say stuff back, there were arguments. we were not on great terms at all. then he broke up with his gf, and I tried to be there to support him. I thought he was just going to go back to the old-Evan, and he didnt. the dig about me not having a gf was low because I'd talked to him about it before. he said it, I got pissed, and then I went and did what I did a few days later, because I was mad.
so, its not the case that I was odd man out with Evan, just the opposite. it's why I understand how mad he was. someone sent him a photo of us kissing in the club - idk who but I assume one of the ex's friends, and he showed up to my apartment in tears. just asking how could i. seriously I do not think my actions 5 years ago can be defended or should be minimised. I fucked up horribly, because I was mad at him.
sorry that that was more than you asked for, but there it is

Commenter: You're forgetting the other half of the bedroom tango. She slept with her exs brother, too, remember. You didn't force yourself on her. She was single and consenting. Did you ever consider that she slept with you for her own reason? Maybe she figured it was the only way to get your brother to accept that she wasn't getting back together with him.

OOP: im sure she had her reasons. but it doesnt change how i view my actions. she wanted to move on and not speak to him again, which was definitely not what i wanted, because i wasnt planning on losing my best friend.

Commenter: At this point it’s best to stay on your trip. Obviously you didn’t know the change in heart would happen so you couldn’t plan for it. Just know that this is going to affect your relationship with both of them negatively, and maybe forever. NAH because I think being mad about it is somewhat justified (so long as it doesn’t escalate further than it has)

OOP: it's certainly isn't my intention to harm my relationship with Justin. the thought of losing another brother is scary. I just honestly had no idea he was working on this and was trying to have me there. if there was even the slimmest chance I wouldn't have booked the trip. but the situation has been what it is for four years now, there never been a hint or suggesting that it would change

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: April 22, 2024 (1 month later)
Original Post where I asked if I would be TA for not going to my brother justin's wedding after a late invite. the late invite came because my other brother, Evan, who was not speaking to me and refused to be the same space with me after I slept with his ex, was invited and not me.
firstly, I would say that I really did take into consideration a lot of the comments that said I've been punished by the family enough. Evan has the right to still be mad but after this length of time I think it's time the rest of my family start treating me as an equal member again.
I did fly home for the wedding. the friend who I was on vacation with was very agreeable to me going. I know the judgement was that I would not be TA for skipping, but I was just too scared to lose Justin too. Yes, I wanted to have the conversation about him treating me equally now, but to do that I first needed him to be speaking with me.
Unexpectedly, Justin actually picked me up from the airport. he was immediately apologetic for how he talked to me and the position he put me in in forcing me to fly home, and recognized it wasn't right or fair. he even offered to pay the cost of my tickets. I accepted his apology, but told him we could talk about it more later, it was his wedding day and the focus should be on him and that.
we drove to the hotel where he and my parents and the other groomsmen, including Evan where you staying. Evan came to my room shortly after I checked in. It wasn't a happy movie scene where we hugged and all was forgiven, it was really awkward, two people on eggshells. we just sorta agreed to have a good day for Justin, and talk at some later point. in the end I am glad I went to the wedding, as unfair as Justin asking was, it was pretty clear that having both me and Evan there that day meant a lot to him. I flew back out the next day to meet my friend.
since I've been back Evan and I have been talking and have met up. I've apologized again, but also he has forcing me out. he was (understandably) mad at me, and said he just could never seem to move past being mad, and it became easier to stay mad. but he missed me, he's wanted to call and then backed off doing so. we are slowly working on things. it's awkward, but getting better. I've met his gf and been to his apartment.
I did talk to Justin more about how unfair it was, and he agreed. as Evan is no longer demanding it be a 'him-or-i' choice, the conversation with Justin was easier. I would say that I was planning to man up and tell him I would no longer agree to that situation, and I hope I would have actually done so. but the situation no longer exists. he also did try to pay for my ticket again when I came back, but I didn't accept his offer.
hopefully the year continues on this positive direction.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: that's just beyond sad. you don't have ownership over your ex. getting mad that they slept with someone after you broke up is beyond ridiculous.

OOP: honestly did not expect this many people to think what I originally did wasn't that bad. I very seriously disagree with them. the ex-gf was free to do whatever she wanted, they are correct about that, but I was suppose to be a brother and a friend, and I did not do that.

Commenter: I really don’t understand how Justin can be mad at you for leaving when it was pretty obvious you were not going to attend due to no invite. Why should you tell them you were going out of town?

OOP: I agree and Justin also agrees with that now. I think it had a lot to do with him having wedding stress and then also trying to bring me and Evan together at the same time. I think he felt like it was one chance and he didn’t want us to miss it.
He realized he had been unfair before I even spoke to him, which was why he came to pick me up from airport and apologize. That said, in the end I am glad I went

Commenter: I’m so glad you updated. This was the rare post where I read every single comment. I’m really happy to hear Justin pulled his head outta his ass. How have things been with your dad since you’ve been back? I remember one poignant comment that pointed out that your dad “saw you all the time” but also never noticed you prepping for a big trip.

OOP: things with my dad have been ok since I've been back. he was upset to learn that I wasn't in the country and hadn't mentioned to him that I was going away, which is fair. the reason he didn't know about me going away was because I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to know. even though I felt like I understood Justin's decision, it was still embarrassing and I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, including my dad, so I went away.

One more thought from OOP:
Right now I also consider myself extremely fortunate that Evan seems open to building a relationship. A couple people have suggested what i did wasn’t that bad, but I don’t agree. I understand why he was hurt and why we will probably never get back to where we were.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

Hi, I (25F) and my husband (26M) got married four years ago now, have been together five. I've started noticing some behavior changes from him and I am just not sure if they are normal or not. There are a handful of behaviors that I really don't vibe with that have started in the past year or so. This particular thing is just annoying as hell.
Long story short, my husband and I are great friends. We're very close and very much so enjoy each others company. However; I am still a person who needs personal space and alone time because I am introverted. This is not news to him.
He got out of the Marine corps and went form being gone 2/3 of the year bc of training/school/deployment/etc. to being home all the time. At first that was awesome and I really enjoyed the quality time.
That being said, over the past two years or so my ability to do anything, from grocery shopping to laundry to going to the gym has become an activity that I either cannot do alone or am tracked while doing.
At home, he is attached to me. I mean, I have to sneak away to be able to go use the restroom and him not come speak to me through the door. Everything is like this. Cooking, cleaning, homework, etc. I cannot be left alone. I have to compromise and argue for time to read for myself. It drives me nuts. He knows this. Does it anyway. He's not angry or vindictive, he just starts chatting, or staring at me, or engaging with me and I am just trying to brush my teeth or pee in peace. Then when I ask to be left alone, I get the sad puppy routine. I end up feeling feel awful and mean so I rarely ask anymore.
Outside the house is really where I get annoyed.
We share locations because of safety reasons and to be be clear I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. I love my husband, I would never engage in an affair or lie about my whereabouts, I have not ever and don't plan to.
I never really paid much mind to the locations thing. In all seriousness, I think I've checked his location maybe a half dozen times in five years. He has never given me a reason to not trust him and vice versa so I believe. I also never paid much mind to him looking at mine. Like I said, I have nothing to hide and he knows where I'm going.
It really became an issue about a year ago now when I started going to the gym by myself more often because he didn't want to go when I did. I didn't care, but me taking care of myself is important to the both of us so I make sure I go. And every once in a while, I noticed that If I sat in the car in the parking lot to finish a song or my pre-workout, he would text me, asking if I was okay or if the gym was closed? At first, I didn't put it together, but about the fifth time I realized he was watching me arrive to the gym and tracking how long it took me to go into the building. I though that odd, and asked him about this. He confirmed that he was watching me but he chalked it up to him being concerned about my safety. (I go to the gym at like 2pm in a fairly busy center, by no means kidnapping central)
That behavior has turned into tracking me when and where I go, any time I go anywhere. Out with my dad for lunch, to brunch with a girlfriend, picking up a mutual friend from the airport, etc. Keep in mind, I always communicate these things, I tell him the when/where and time. It started to really bother me a few months ago, because I feel its a little excessive to be asking me why I am still in the parking spot after the gym when I have been at the car for a few minutes. Again, I communicate that I'm heading home or going somewhere always because communication is important to me, so I go out of my way to do so, but I really feel like I don't need to explain that I am finding a Spotify playlist.
I have brought up that I feel the access to my location is in fact a safety thing not for tracking and I have come to feel as if my privacy is being violated and that I feel that he thinks me untrustworthy due to this behavior. He assures me that he just is worried about me so he keeps track of me. We are at the point that I cannot go "I stopped at X" with out him saying "I know I saw that, why or what... etc." . I have discussed my annoyance with the comments of 'oh i saw you stopped for coffee earlier' and 'why are you at Walmart' but he doesn't seem to be changing this behavior at all. It's as if to him the explanation of his being concerned for my safety completely justifies this behavior and the increase of this behavior.
Its gotten to the point that either I ignore the comments and texts or its an argument. And all that changes is me not going to do things that I either need or want to do and the small amount of alone time is shrinking.
It is important to add that my husband has some significant anxiety and panic issues bc of the marine corps. I do my best to accommodate this by over communicating, always driving us wherever and often not going places by myself. I am aware that this may come across as controlling behavior. I also know that it is not my job to emotionally regulate for him. I also know that from an outside perspective it may seem like he is projecting bc of infidelity or something, but in no way shape or form do i believe he would ever cheat. He has no time to, the man doesn't go anywhere without me let alone does anything alone.
I just need an outside perspective at this point. I am not trying to push him away as a result of this but I have in ways because i just feel like I need to breath, so the intense involvement of him in my day to day is increasing.
I grew up in an abusive family, lacking any and all boundaries for the most part so I have a hard time creating and holding boundaries in regard to things like this. I feel like an awful wife for wanting to read my book at night by myself or for feeling like I'm being stalked by my own husband. I have discussed this with him plainly. He says he understands, but nothing changes. I don't know what is acceptable. At what point does his anxiety and paranoia get to not rule my life? Or am I totally off center and not taking care of my husband in the way he needs? Help please and thank you (:

​
Cliff Smith grunts as he wraps his hands around the barbell, bends his knees, and lowers his six-foot-three frame toward the floor. He tenses his entire body, exhales twice, and starts pulling 455 pounds upward. His legs shake as he stands fully upright, and then he lowers the weight, breathes deeply, and does it all over again. He does five total reps, then drops the bar and smiles. "Ain't even winded," he says. "Holla at me. "
The five reps are a personal best for Smith (better known as Method Man), who loves starting his day by chasing PRs.
On this morning, he's in a Staten Island gym pondering his next milestone birthday (he turns 50 in March) and crushing sets of deadlifts, pullups, and barbell rows. "I gotta get my roses now," he says,"because I'm almost 50 fucking years old. Damn near 50 years old, bruh. "The Grammy Award-winning rap veteran has focused creativity into a host of projects lately. He appears in Starz's drama Power Book II: Ghost (returning for the second half of its first season in December); he voiced the character Ben Urich in Marvels, a narrative-fiction podcast; and he's working on new music.
His morning workout has readied him for all that-and it's kept him from predawn video-game marathons. In 2018, Smith says, he was battling insomnia, frequently waking at 2:00 and playing NBA2K. Realizing he was "just wasting time," Smith searched for a more productive use of his early-morning hours. "So at 4:00 , I find myself in the gym working out," he says. "Two days turned into three days. Three days turned into five days, and I've been consistent ever since. " Bonus: His insomnia is gone.
Smith now weighs 219, 12 pounds less than he weighed when he first started training. He hits legs Mondays, shoulders Tuesdays, back Wednesdays, chest Thursdays, and arms Fridays. "He's a beast," says his workout partner, Joey Crespo. "Our routine has only been heavy, heavy, all year round. "
At the moment, that means gritting out three sets of seated lat pulldowns, followed by a core exercise that has him on his knees, rolling a wheel forward, challenging his abs. He finishes the session by sitting on a bench with a harness connected to his forehead, a weight hanging in front of his chest. He lowers his head to look at the ground, then flexes his neck muscles to raise his head and look straight ahead, an old-school neck exercise that few gym-goers will do. Smith does it regularly. "Regardless of how tired I get, no matter what the workout is, I at least will try it," he says between deep breaths. "I'm not going to say no to anything. "
You may not have Method Man's fancy neck-training gear or his deadlift weight. But if you have a resistance band, you can try his favorite at-home regimen.
Pushups
Do 25 to 30 reps. Aim for 5 sets.
Banded Curl
Stand on a resistance band, its ends held at your sides, your core tight. Curl up, squeezing your biceps; then lower. That's 1 rep; do 15 to Do 5 sets.
Banded Shoulder Press
Stand on a resistance band, its ends held at your shoulders, your core tight. Tighten your shoulder blades and press the band overhead. Pause, then return to the start. That's 1 rep; do 15 to Do 5 sets.
A version of this story originally appears in the November 2020 issue of Men's Health, with the title "The 6 Workout w/ Method Man".

I am leaving my city and relocating to another state for work in the beginning of August.
I prepay my trainer for a set amount of sessions (20+). I train with them a minimum 1x/week. Sometimes 2x. We are in a large city, and they are quite expensive, but I enjoy training together, have seen great results, am more comfortable in the gym, and we’ve even developed a relationship outside the gym.
They have many clients. Many who see them almost every/every other day. Idk how these people can afford that given my trainer’s rate lol. And ofc others less frequently. Regardless I don’t think I am going to leave them totally high and dry.
I have vaguely mentioned a few times in the past that I will likely move before the end of the year if everything pans out as I hope. I now have more concrete details regarding this plan and my departure but am unsure how and when to reveal the details.
I ofc don’t want to catch them off guard later, but also don’t want them to phone in the remaining sessions/give me less premium timing given they’ll know I won’t be renewing. Not that I think they would do this, but I feel as tho it’s human nature. And logistically they will need to fill the slot and start looking for people and I would be deprioritized comparatively.
My remaining sessions will likely last me until August when I leave. I really love my trainer and I feel we were just blossoming a relationship outside the gym and am worried that things will shift as I move given the distance they are 7 years older.
Or maybe I’m overthinking Al this and I’m easily replaceable and our friendship was merely a moment in a time that I need to be grateful for and we’ll never talk again and that’s ok? Lol
My questions:

• What is the right timing to reveal my moving plans? That will both alleviate my concerns and give them proper notice.
  
• what did you like/dislike in previous handlings of client-initiated breakups?
  
• have you maintained a relationship with clients you no longer work with after y’all “broke up”? Did the dynamic change? Or is it difficult to maintain the relationship after you stop working together?
  
• any general tips on “breaking up”?
  

I know these themes are often repeated but I would be grateful to anyone who takes the time to consider the following and offer suggestions. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and would really appreciate a crowd-sourced list of cities as a starting place.
Partner finishes medical residency soon so while HCOL is theoretically in reach, we have other financial goals to prioritize like travel, children (who probably won't exist for ~5 yrs but we need to save for), student loan debt, and retirement, so hoping to stay more L-MCOL (also, have been spoiled by COL in Indianapolis and Kalamazoo, so pretty much anywhere else will be an adjustment).
I know it's impossible to hit every one of these points, so I'm grateful for any suggestions that hit several.
tl;dr: queer scene, L-MCOL, walkable, outdoors recreation particularly mountains, no further west than CO, airport, little to no anti-trans legislation, I'm overwhelmed, help, thank you, I love you
1) No further west than Colorado (family in Indiana and Florida and we don't want to be TOO far away)
2) Red state complications: We are directly impacted by anti-trans legislation, and while it has mostly focused on kids so far, we fear where things are going for adults. As a proud, born-and-raised Hoosier, I'm bitter about how this limits our options, but it's a reality. I'm open to hearing compelling cases for great cities in red states, particularly if you are trans, and particularly if it's a red/purple state where legislation targeting trans people is infrequent and is widely, laughably expected to fail (we won't have to worry or be on our toes)
3) Mountains or other great outdoor hiking and recreation
4) Walkability. Would love somewhere with neighborhood options where we could have a pleasant walk or bike to a grocery store, brewery/restaurant, coffee shop, etc. In other words, the entire city doesn't need to be known as a walkable bastion, but we could find some decent neighborhood options
5) Major airport nearby
6) Mild winters and more sunshine a plus (grey, cold Kzoo winter was not fun for my partner but it hasn't made Michigan a total deal-breaker... just wanted to put weather out there as a plus)
7) Good queer scene
8) other pluses: climbing gym, good vegan food, somewhat safe from climate change impact, higher ed opportunities

Hey all, I met this girl last year when we both came out of a relationship so we were both not ready for anyting serieus and became friends with benefits. Our connection is like none I've ever had before and we soon became best friends. Moving forward a few months I started to get a crush on her and told her about my feelings which were rejected. It hurted but we talked through it and decided to end the physical intimacy and stay best friends.
It took me a few months but I managed to get over it and didn't even get jealous when she started dating other guys. This lasted a few months and we had an amazing time but last month the feelings started to come back again and this time they only got stronger and stronger. At this point, i'm totally convinced that were soulmates. There's just nobody I've ever met that I can get along with so well and that makes me feel so alive and happy. We litterly do everything together as well, we go to the gym for 2 hours a day, play games later on in the evening, call for hours and hours when we don't meet up for whatever reason and we go clubbing every weekend. Last friday in the club my feelings for her were peaking and I had to tell her.. but she again didn't feel the same way. She tells me that she loves me too but not in a romantic way and wants to stay best friends.
I'm really heartbroken that we can't be more then what we are and having the daily reminder of what we could be but won't be is a mental torture for me. Because of this, I told her I wanted to take distance because I feel that I just won't be able to move on with my life this way. In her response she said she doesn't what that because I mean almost everything to her and she'll fall into an empty gap without me since we litterly do everything together and I'm her emotional rock. It got to the point that she tried to convince me that i'm not actually in love with her and it's just hormones and i'll go away when I find someone else. I know for myself though that this feeling comes from deep within (nothing i've ever felt before in previous relationships which were even great at the time) and I can't be open for other partners when I still love her so much.. I know this for sure because I've had beautiful girls flirt with me at the club but i'm simply not interested in them cause I know I just want her.
This conversation took place today and she asked me to think about it further cause she really doesn't want us to go seperate ways and even started to bring up things like "I was planning to make you the godfather of my child later" and "you just can't leave this great friendship and bond we have".
She's absolutely everything to me so it hurts tremendously to take distance and obviously it's not what I want either as I want to get even closer to her. But I've already tried to be friends last time and now I"m back with these feeling and they are even stronger then last time so I don't know if there's really another solution?
I would love to be able to stay best friends and find another love next to our friendship but I don't know if I can. I'd feel like an idiot if I put myself through months of mental torture just to feel heartbroken again in the future but i'll also regret losing this great friendship we have so this is really tearing me up. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and managed to lose the feelings completely over time? Any tips on how to deal with this in general?
Extra: Even after ending our physical intimacy we still kissed a few times in the club when drunk and slepped in the same bed just cuddling each other but nothing more. This has happened only 4x after ending the physical intimacy so it's been rather rare for a time span of 8 months but I guess my point with this is that we've always been more then just friends but less then a relationship.

Hey all, I met this girl last year when we both came out of a relationship so we were both not ready for anyting serieus and became friends with benefits. Our connection is like none I've ever had before and we soon became best friends. Moving forward a few months I started to get a crush on her and told her about my feelings which were rejected. It hurted but we talked through it and decided to end the physical intimacy and stay best friends.
It took me a few months but I managed to get over it and didn't even get jealous when she started dating other guys. This lasted a few months and we had an amazing time but last month the feelings started to come back again and this time they only got stronger and stronger. At this point, i'm totally convinced that were soulmates. There's just nobody I've ever met that I can get along with so well and that makes me feel so alive and happy. We litterly do everything together as well, we go to the gym for 2 hours a day, play games later on in the evening, call for hours and hours when we don't meet up for whatever reason and we go clubbing every weekend. Last friday in the club my feelings for her were peaking and I had to tell her.. but she again didn't feel the same way. She tells me that she loves me too but not in a romantic way and wants to stay best friends.
I'm really hurt that we can't be more then what we are and having the daily reminder of what we could be but won't be is a mental torture for me. Because of this, I told her I wanted to take distance because I feel that I just won't be able to move on with my life this way. In her response she said she doesn't what that because I mean almost everything to her and she'll fall into an empty gap without me since we litterly do everything together and I'm her emotional rock. It got to the point that she tried to convince me that i'm not actually in love with her and it's just hormones and i'll go away when I find someone else. I know for myself though that this feeling comes from deep within (nothing i've ever felt before in previous relationships which were even great at the time) and I can't be open for other partners when I still love her so much.. I know this for sure because I've had beautiful girls flirt with me at the club but i'm simply not interested in them cause I know I just want her.
This conversation took place today and she asked me to think about it further cause she really doesn't want us to go seperate ways and even started to bring up things like "I was planning to make you the godfather of my child later" and "you just can't leave this great friendship and bond we have".
She's absolutely everything to me so it hurts tremendously to take distance and obviously it's not what I want either as I want to get even closer to her. But I've already tried to be friends last time and now I"m back with these feeling and they are even stronger then last time so I don't know if there's really another solution?
I would love to be able to stay best friends and find another love next to our friendship but I don't know if I can. I'd feel like an idiot if I put myself through months of mental torture just to feel heartbroken again in the future but i'll also regret losing this great friendship we have so this is really tearing me up. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and managed to lose the feelings completely over time? Any tips on how to deal with this in general?
Extra: Even after ending our physical intimacy we still kissed a few times in the club when drunk and slepped in the same bed just cuddling each other but nothing more. This has happened only 4x after ending the physical intimacy so it's been rather rare for a time span of 8 months but I guess my point with this is that we've always been more then just friends but less then a relationship.
​
TL;DR: We started of as friends with benefits, became best friends, I got a crush which was rejected, we dialed it back to just friends (no more physical intimicay except for few kisses on rare occasions) and now my feeling for her are back and stronger then last time. I don't know if I should take distance or try to continue as friends again.

What items are actually tax deductable under "Lifestyle"? Also, how much value do we get from it? For example, if you buy a rm1000 smartphone, how many RM would it translate to in final tax deduction?
Some items in particular

1. PC / Tablets / Smartphones - phone chargers? Powerbanks?
2. Books - What about non-beneficial ones, like comics?
3. Sports - I heard that sport shoes doesn't count? What about martial arts gym membership?
4. Monthly internet bill - so any plan would do as long as the internet data is included in the total package? Prepaid, postpaid? What if you already have unifi, can you still claim for mobile phone?

I am 28F, 5'7 and currently fluctuating around 130-140 lbs. Goal weight is 120 lbs.
My primary exercise is jogging in place for the last few years (I wanted to start a routine that would be very easy for me to do at home every day with no special equipment or commuting to the gym. I always struggled to stick to exercise routines in the past because I would get bored and it was a chore, so I tricked myself into loving my jogging by jogging in place while watching TV).
I aim for about 100 minutes total of jogging in place per day (usually I split it up and do say, 30 min jog in the morning) and several more 20-30 min jogs throughout the day). I also ice skate (I am learning/training to play Ice hockey so I got ice skating to practice, usually for about an hour 2-5 times per week)
I eat semi-low carb. Not full Keto, but I don't eat bread, rice, or pasta. I eat some small amounts of healthier carbs (like root veggies), and I couldn't completely give up sweets, so the limited carbs I do eat are usually small portions of dessert or dark chocolate.
I count my calories (and I know we are often inaccurate in how we guesstimate calories so I always try to over-estimate). Usually I eat on average between 1200-1600 calories per day, and my exercise is my jogging.
I track alories burned with a fitness app, and for the last few years, I feel like there has to be something wrong with my body.
Based on my fitness apps and my own calorie calculations, ALMOST every day, I'm eating at least 500+ calories LESS than I should be burning, based on my TDEE (which was around 1500 last time I checked) PLUS my daily exercise. I struggled with my weight and eating disorders for a long time, but a few years ago finally kind of found a balance and have been around this weight ever since.
I want to be healthy and I've gotten to a point where my ED mindset and some of the behaviors are still there, but I am NOT actively starving myself or doing anything else I shouldn't be.
And it's a real struggle because I feel like whenever I eat even a little more than I usually do, my body is VERY quick to gain weight, yet I can’t seem to get to 120 no matter what I do.
I feel like something HAS to be wrong, because with my diet and exercise, I should be thinner, and I WANT to fully recover from my eating disorder and I know my current eating habits are not healthy but whenever I change them I start gaining weight immediately and I’m SO afraid of getting fat if I try to eat more normally, yet I don’t want to starve myself again and risk really backsliding into ED territory.
What could be wrong? Are there any medical conditions it could be? What am I doing wrong?
TL;DR - I am 28F, 5'7, my weight fluctuates between 130-140. GW is 120
I eat on average 1200-1600 calories per day and have a limited variety of 'safe' foods, and jog in place for 60-100 minutes EVERY day, and my fitness apps tell me that I usually burn 600-1000+ calories MORE than I'm eating each day, yet I still can't lose any weight. I previously suffered from an eating disorder, and this is REALLY hindering my recovery because I want to have healthier more normalized eating behaviors but every time I eat more 'regular' meals or more than usual I start gaining weight immediately, yet can't seem to stay under 130 for very long even though I should be in a calorie deficit every day and I know my diet is disordered but I can't eat 'normally' or else I gain weight and I don't want to gain weight.

So I’m on 200 mg of Test C a week. I split it into 3 doses. My total T is at around 1300 and my e2 sits in the mid 50’s. Relative to my total T my e2 really isn’t at a bad level. And I experience no symptoms of high e2.
My question is if I started taking an AI, will I notice any benefit when it comes to improving my body composition in the gym? I lift heavy 5 to 6 days a week. I am happy with the results I have seen this first year. Lost about 80 lbs. and put on a lot of muscle. But I do have trouble burning this last bit of stubborn belly fat and love handles. I have my diet pretty dialed in and I follow up my work out with about 20 to 30 minutes of cardio.

Ruby - I don't know, any ideas?
Weiss - Kirsten Dunst
Blake - Jennifer Connelly
Yang - Drew Barrymore
Jaune - Owen Wilson (I don't know why but that's really funny to me)
Pyrrha - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Nora - Not sure
Ren - Keanu Reeves
Ozpin - David Bowie
Glynda - Cate Blanchett
Port and Oobleck - Mel Brooks and Jerry Seinfeld
Qrow - Gary Oldman
Taiyang - Chuck Norris
Raven - ???
Ironwood - Alec Baldwin (Other options could be Robert De Niro or Harrison Ford)
Penny - ???
Winter - ???
Roman - ???
Cinder - Emanuelle Chirqui
Mercury - Seth Green
Emerald - ???
Tyrian - Jackie Chan (or somebody younger, he was in his 40s in 1997)
Watts - Dustin Hoffman
Hazel - Triple H
Adam - Neil Patrick Harris
Kali and Ghira - Demi Moore and Bruce Willis
Jacques, Willow and Whitley - Tim Curry, Goldie Hawn and Macaulay Culkin
Klein - Jason Alexander
Oscar - Elijah Wood
Feel free to submit any other ideas to fill in the blanks

Hi all,
I'm considering a career change into law enforcement within the next year, and have a couple of concerns that I'd appreciate some opinions on.
For context, I'm 24 years old with a bachelor's degree in criminal justice. After I graduated at 22, I transitioned immediately into a job with a PD in a densely populated city in Northern Virginia. During a pre-academy firearms training, I began doubting myself and realized that I wasn't ready for a job in LE, so I resigned.
It's still something I feel drawn to, and I've decided to try again, having acknowledged and worked on the doubts I had about myself, and gained more life experience.
All that being said, I'd love some input on the following:

1. Would it be a red flag from a hiring standpoint that I've expressed doubt in myself as a candidate for police work in the past? I left before academy, and have since acknowledged that an academy would have addressed those doubts.
   
2. I've made a couple of mistakes between then and now. I received two speeding tickets, the most recent right about a year ago, with a life total of three, and I smoked marijuana a handful of times last year. Surely it doesn’t look good to quit a police job, speed, smoke, and then apply for another, regardless of the amount of time in between, right? (Last marijuana use was in December, when I started considering trying LE again—I'll be waiting until at LEAST 12mo from last use before sending out applications.)
   
3. Before I started my current job as a personal trainegym manager, I had sent out some applications to a few local PDs, hoping to try again. Around this same time, I was offered my job. I withdrew some applications, and others simply didn’t attend the physical agility testing. At least one of these departments are on the list I may re-apply to. Is this a bad look? My reasoning was that I'd already tried once and failed, so I'd try something new and if I still felt drawn to LE, I could apply again later.
   

Sorry for such a long and wordy post, but any input any of you can provide would be much appreciated!
Thanks!

Hello all! I debated whether or not to make my own post for this, but figured it would be worthwhile to do so ultimately.
TLDR: Went 9 for 9, set a few PRs and “recent” bests. Ended the day with the 4th highest total at 585 kg, DOTs be damned.
Video of all attempts minus 3rd bench where the stream went down: https://youtu.be/7yQH67Mrdsg?si=5mJ3u5Z3-BS0Fn4u
—NOVEL BELOW—
Background: I’d mostly consider myself an early intermediate lifter at this point, but for those who haven’t seen my posts before, about a year ago I set up a garage gym and got back into lifting after around a 10 year hiatus. Prior to the hiatus I mostly did bodybuilding, MMA / Jiu-Jitsu, and soccer. The last gym I worked out of was a powerlifting gym in Denver, but I was still firmly in the bodybuilding mindset and just wanted a place I could lift heavier. Still, my name on that chalkboard with a “?” next to it became more motivating than I ever thought it would, it would just take a decade to figure it out.
Why the hiatus? A combination of my son being born and my health rapidly declining due to her cystic fibrosis which eventually required me to be her primary caregiver and borderline single parent. Prior to her double lung transplant, it was common for us to be on a fairly regular “2 weeks in, 2 weeks out” hospital schedule. It was very draining financially and mentally, so gym time became a luxury that just wasn’t possible. Post lung transplant, we moved across the country, started over, and while all of that came with its own challenges, it has been a great experience. She hit 7 years post transplant this month!
Training: 12 months ago I decided I wanted to 1) get back into better shape and 2) do my first powerlifting meet. I started searching around and found the GZCL community, got some valuable advice and started LP as a way to ease back into the movements, all while cutting. Starting bodyweight was around 290 lbs and that had to be dealt with.
After 16 weeks of LP I decided to experiment with a variation of the classic GZCL for Powerlifting. I was still cutting, making decent progress on both strength and bodyweight.
6 months ago I reached out to u/gzcl for some advice which he was very kind to answer. After a few follow up questions I inquired about coaching and we started working on a plan leading up to this meet. Easily one of the best decisions I’ve made. This lead to 2 training blocks, both around 12 weeks long. One base building, one peaking.
Numbers at the start of coaching: Squat- 405 lbs / 183 kg. This was a grindy rep iirc Bench- 280 lbs x 2 / 127 kg Deadlift- 425 lbs x3 / 192 kg
Lead up to the Meet: Overall training leading up to the meet went great. There was a few set backs like getting Covid for the second time in early January and a slight back tweak during the 3rd wave of the peaking program which was then followed up by the most physical month at work that I’ve had in the 5 years I’ve been there. I work as an ice technician at a municipal owned twin sheet ice arena. This month we had ice out on one sheet, laid decking over the other for the annual RV show (includes removing rink corner dashers and glass for egress points), installing 44k square feet of sport court for the National collegiate roller hockey championships, removing the same 44k square feet of sport court, starting ice in, and preparing the second rink for a new floor and dashers by removing all the old glass and dasher boards.
I did my best to manage my recovery around these demands, but was definitely unsure how things would go. Had Friday off so I slept as late as I could, focused on hydration, eating enough, and some light mobility work.
The Meet: Easy check in process. Made weight no problem. Competed in the 125 kg / 275 weight class weighing in at 262 lbs (up from my low of 248 lbs in December). Cody had a great strategy for the day, so all I had to do is trust the process.
Squats: Attempt 1- 185 kg an easy warmup, 3 white lights Attempt 2- 200 kg, 3 white lights Attempt 3- chose to go for the max of the 3rd attempt options. 215 kg for a solid lifetime PR, 3 white lights. Seems like there was more in the tank.
Bench: Attempt 1- 132.5 kg, easy warmup, 3 white lights Attempt 2- 140 kg, 3 white lights, easy rep Attempt 3- 147.5 kg, 3 white lights, felt relatively easy, but not positive I could have gone much higher.
Deadlift: Attempt 1- 180 kg, easy warm up, 3 white lights Attempt 2- 210 kg, just under my gym best, 3 white lights Attempt 3- 222.5 kg, 3 white lights, new recent PR. Cody gave me a 3rd attempt option of 227.5 which would have hit a major short term goal of mine, but I wanted that 9 for 9 day and opted to go a little conservative. I think that 227.5/501 lbs was there, but I still locked in a new best and 35 lbs over my heaviest pull during peaking.
Ended the day with the 4th highest total at 585 kg / 1289.7 lbs, 10 lbs shy of my initial target I set 6 months ago with 0 frame of reference.
Coaching Results: Squat- from 405 to 474 lbs Bench- from 280 to 325 lbs Deadlift- 425 to 490 lbs
Already looking forward to the next comp.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

Hi,
M33. Few days back i had a minor allergic reaction after eating Mangoes. Caused sore throat, and tingling tongue, Went to ER and they gave me one 10mg Decadron shot on my left hand muscle. Allergic reaction subsided after that. Havent taken a steroid in my life, it was the first time I took a single shot due to allergic reaction.
Since then its 4 days and I have overall weakness, feel lethargic, I had very active life style, and used to do a regular 5miles run, 30-40 mins GYM. Now its all stopped after taking that bloody steroid shot.
Asked my PCP and he said its not because of the shot, but I feel its because of shot since it all started after taking it.
After researching online I see people feeling energetic after taking steroid shot, but in case of me its total opposite. Unable to get into my usual lifestyle where I can continue gym, go for running etc.
Anyone here with same symptoms? When will these symptoms go away? when can I feel energetic like before?

Hi,
M33. Few days back i had a minor allergic reaction after eating Mangoes. Caused sore throat, and tingling tongue, Went to ER and they gave me one 10mg Decadron shot on my left hand muscle. Allergic reaction subsided after that. Havent taken a steroid in my life, it was the first time I took a single shot due to allergic reaction.
Since then its 4 days and I have overall weakness, feel lethargic, I had very active life style, and used to do a regular 5miles run, 30-40 mins GYM. Now its all stopped after taking that bloody steroid shot.
Asked my PCP and he said its not because of the shot, but I feel its because of shot since it all started after taking it.
After researching online I see people feeling energetic after taking steroid shot, but in case of me its total opposite. Unable to get into my usual lifestyle where I can continue gym, go for running etc.
Anyone here with same symptoms? When will these symptoms go away? when can I feel energetic like before?

Hi,
M33. Few days back i had a minor allergic reaction after eating Mangoes. Caused sore throat, and tingling tongue, Went to ER and they gave me one 10mg Decadron shot on my left hand muscle. Allergic reaction subsided after that. Havent taken a steroid in my life, it was the first time I took a single shot due to allergic reaction.
Since then its 4 days and I have overall weakness, feel lethargic, I had very active life style, and used to do a regular 5miles run, 30-40 mins GYM. Now its all stopped after taking that bloody steroid shot.
Asked my PCP and he said its not because of the shot, but I feel its because of shot since it all started after taking it.
After researching online I see people feeling energetic after taking steroid shot, but in case of me its total opposite. Unable to get into my usual lifestyle where I can continue gym, go for running etc.
Anyone here with same symptoms? When will these symptoms go away? when can I feel energetic like before?

Hi,
M33. Few days back i had a minor allergic reaction after eating Mangoes. Caused sore throat, and tingling tongue, Went to ER and they gave me one 10mg Decadron shot on my left hand muscle. Allergic reaction subsided after that. Havent taken a steroid in my life, it was the first time I took a single shot due to allergic reaction.
Since then its 4 days and I have overall weakness, feel lethargic, I had very active life style, and used to do a regular 5miles run, 30-40 mins GYM. Now its all stopped after taking that bloody steroid shot.
Asked my PCP and he said its not because of the shot, but I feel its because of shot since it all started after taking it.
After researching online I see people feeling energetic after taking steroid shot, but in case of me its total opposite. Unable to get into my usual lifestyle where I can continue gym, go for running etc.
Anyone here with same symptoms? When will these symptoms go away? when can I feel energetic like before?

Hi,
M33. Few days back i had a minor allergic reaction after eating Mangoes. Caused sore throat, and tingling tongue, Went to ER and they gave me one 10mg Decadron shot on my left hand muscle. Allergic reaction subsided after that. Havent taken a steroid in my life, it was the first time I took a single shot due to allergic reaction.
Since then its 4 days and I have overall weakness, feel lethargic, I had very active life style, and used to do a regular 5miles run, 30-40 mins GYM. Now its all stopped after taking that bloody steroid shot.
Asked my PCP and he said its not because of the shot, but I feel its because of shot since it all started after taking it.
After researching online I see people feeling energetic after taking steroid shot, but in case of me its total opposite. Unable to get into my usual lifestyle where I can continue gym, go for running etc.
Anyone here with same symptoms? When will these symptoms go away?

Hey all, I met this girl last year when we both came out of a relationship so we were both not ready for anyting serieus and became friends with benefits. Our connection is like none I've ever had before and we soon became best friends. Moving forward a few months I started to get a crush on her and told her about my feelings which were rejected. It hurted but we talked through it and decided to end the physical intimacy and stay best friends.
It took me a few months but I managed to get over it and didn't even get jealous when she started dating other guys. This lasted a few months and we had an amazing time but last month the feelings started to come back again and this time they only got stronger and stronger. At this point, i'm totally convinced that were soulmates. There's just nobody I've ever met that I can get along with so well and that makes me feel so alive and happy. We litterly do everything together as well, we go to the gym for 2 hours a day, play games later on in the evening, call for hours and hours when we don't meet up for whatever reason and we go clubbing every weekend. Last friday in the club my feelings for her were peaking and I had to tell her.. but she again didn't feel the same way. She tells me that she loves me too but not in a romantic way and wants to stay best friends.
I'm really hurt that we can't be more then what we are and having the daily reminder of what we could be but won't be is a mental torture for me. Because of this, I told her I wanted to take distance because I feel that I just won't be able to move on with my life this way. In her response she said she doesn't what that because I mean almost everything to her and she'll fall into an empty gap without me since we litterly do everything together and I'm her emotional rock. It got to the point that she tried to convince me that i'm not actually in love with her and it's just hormones and i'll go away when I find someone else. I know for myself though that this feeling comes from deep within (nothing i've ever felt before in previous relationships which were even great at the time) and I can't be open for other partners when I still love her so much.. I know this for sure because I've had beautiful girls flirt with me at the club but i'm simply not interested in them cause I know I just want her.
This conversation took place today and she asked me to think about it further cause she really doesn't want us to go seperate ways and even started to bring up things like "I was planning to make you the godfather of my child later" and "you just can't leave this great friendship and bond we have".
She's absolutely everything to me so it hurts tremendously to take distance and obviously it's not what I want either as I want to get even closer to her. But I've already tried to be friends last time and now I"m back with these feeling and they are even stronger then last time so I don't know if there's really another solution?
I would love to be able to stay best friends and find another love next to our friendship but I don't know if I can. I'd feel like an idiot if I put myself through months of mental torture just to feel heartbroken again in the future but i'll also regret losing this great friendship we have so this is really tearing me up. Has anyone of you been in a similar situation and managed to lose the feelings completely over time? Any tips on how to deal with this in general?