Quotes for your ex
/r/quotes: For your favorite quotes
2008.03.11 21:04 /r/quotes: For your favorite quotes
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2011.07.14 10:34 alexf3ng American Express Community
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2011.08.05 19:02 Slashur_8 QuotesPorn
Words. Beautiful, beautiful words.
2024.05.14 06:13 Expensive_Catch_3547 My mother / my abuser
Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…
submitted by Expensive_Catch_3547 to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…
2024.05.14 06:07 Expensive_Catch_3547 My mother / my abuser
Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…
submitted by Expensive_Catch_3547 to u/Expensive_Catch_3547 [link] [comments]
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…
2024.05.14 05:22 Final_Character_4886 Experience with replacing 5th gen rear bumper end cap?
I have a 2020 CRV EX (it has blind spot monitoring) I got some scratches on my passenger side rear bumper end cap - the part right below the tail light assembly. This is the part I am referring to. Took it to three body shops, quoted me 11-12k quite consistently. One shop also mention that because my car has blind spot monitoring, they need to be disconnected and recalibrated, which would be extra money on top of the 12k. This appeared an unwise investment for me since it is nothing more than cosmetics and i would be 90% fine even if I don't fix it at all.
However, I found on youtube that it might not be so hard to replace the part entirely, and I saw this which provides the part with color already painted on. It has the color code I want and I am would not be super concerned if the color is close enough.
My question is: do I really need to disconnect the blind spot monitoring (or anything electronic/electrical) when I replace this part? On the youtube video they never mentioned anything like this, and anything electrical seems attached to the main body of the car. And in your experience, how hard is it to do this? Is it easy to mess up? Is partify a good place to get color-matched parts?
submitted by Final_Character_4886 to crv [link] [comments]
However, I found on youtube that it might not be so hard to replace the part entirely, and I saw this which provides the part with color already painted on. It has the color code I want and I am would not be super concerned if the color is close enough.
My question is: do I really need to disconnect the blind spot monitoring (or anything electronic/electrical) when I replace this part? On the youtube video they never mentioned anything like this, and anything electrical seems attached to the main body of the car. And in your experience, how hard is it to do this? Is it easy to mess up? Is partify a good place to get color-matched parts?
2024.05.14 03:50 PugNuggins Struggling with being alone? Don't know what to do and feel helpless? Here are my tips on what to do to feel better about yourself!
What's up guys and girls. I just got out of a 2 year relationship. Ex gf emotionally cheated on me, so I left. I felt crushed and alone because she was my everything, my lover, partner, best friend, supporter, everything. But now I am all I have. But now after 5 weeks I am feeling better. I have used the negativity and lonelieness and sadness and pain as energy to drive myself forward. And you don't need a breakup to learn this way! Here's my tips on how to become happier during your alone periods:
submitted by PugNuggins to lonely [link] [comments]
- Journaling. Journaling helped me a lot to think thorough of my weaknesses, flaws, and strengths. It helps you observe yourself to better understand yourself. It's best to do this with a clear head so you're not biased against yourself. At first it may seem pointless since you're just writing it, but that's the point. Thats the start to self realization by knowing what and who and why you are the way you are.
- Forgive yourself. Whether you messed up by trusting the wrong person, not being good enough, having any anger issues, not trying hard enough. Forgive yourself, do not burden yourself with yourself. Forgive yourself and ask yourself what you can do to change whatever it is you're giving yourself a hard time with. Forgiving yourself and learning to love yourself is a big step to living a peaceful life because you may underestimate what you can do in a year, 2 years, 3 years, 10 and even 20 years. Your life goes on and even though you may not like this chapter you're in right now you can always make changes to create better ones.
- Go out for a walk under the sun! Does not matter if it's too hot or too cold. Exercise stimulates your brain and body to relaxation, and after walking for so many miles I'm sure it won't seem much of a chore after. Plus, you can also lose weight if that's a goal of yours. If walking under the sun, or even jogging, is something you would never do then give it multiple tries. It helps you push out of your "comfort zone" which is probably just sleeping around (I know my comfort was sleeping my days away depressingly). You can also listen to self help videos or podcasts while you walk. You may learn some new methods of quotes that you can implement into your life!
- Avoid the junk food! Also known as comfort food! Too many carbs makes you feel lazy, which in turn mixes with your negative emotions. Making you even more glued to your bed. Or sofa. Instead, eat an apple or banana or another fruit. Or simply drink water! Your body will thank you for it in the long run. 😌
- Pick up a healthy hobby. If you like to drink or smoke, cut back on it as much as you can. Make goals to quit those vices. Instead, learn to play the guitar, learn a skill like plumbing or wiring or carpentry, learn another language. You can also volunteer at animal shelters and walk dogs! They'll love you in return. Or you can feed the street pigeons. Helping out little critters like cats, dogs, pigeons or others can make you feel better about yourself. You'd be surprised how much they'd want to be around you or even snuggle up to you. Or even just ask your boss for longer hours! You just have to keep yourself busy from having too much time to think about anything negative.
- Avoid social media: Social media only shows people's highlights and pushes the "you're either with me or against me" kind of mentality when you're watching reels of the top people, which leads to a certain identity loss for people who've yet to discover themselves. Plus it can get very toxic in the comment section.
2024.05.14 03:34 IntentionalChaos214 We made my ex's live in girlfriend think he was a gay drag queen.
I am now older (43f) and wiser and far more subtle in my petty revenge ...but, at this time? I was younger (21) angry, petty, spurred on my an equally petty friend (22f then), and he deserved it.
I had a get together for Halloween with a few friends. It was the usual early 20s social situation with drinks, cards and tequila shots. (I know... I know.)
A guy I had previously had a fling with (truly nothing serious--he was just tall, cute as all hell and had adorable dimples but our personalities didn't mesh) was invited as a friend. No big deal.
Card game turned into Texas Hold Em and bizarre dares after you were out of poker chips. My "ex" was losing BADLY. What started as us daring him to strip somehow escalated to him running outside, nude and in 2 feet of snow, to the pond behind the apartment buildings to acquire a cup of water... and then escalated to him going, in VERY sloppy drag, to the grocery store to buy an eggplant, lube, and condoms.
Now... this is all ridiculous already. (Tequila is a bad decision, kids!) A truly memorable but insane night that can ONLY be survived or created in your early 20s.
My friend (who spurred me on) and him began flirting and things escalated a bit between them. There were photos of him in drag taken, and photos of him with my friend as well.
They made plans to see a movie a couple days later after a few calls...
He never showed up and then ghosted her.
Could we have blown it off and moved on?
Absolutely.
Did we?
Hell freaking no.
We did a bit of online stalking and found out he not only HAD A GIRLFRIEND but was LIVING with her! (Where do these people find the time for this... and how do you NOT ask questions when your man doesn't come home?!)
We hatched a plan.
We took the photos and printed them... of him in drag flirting with my friend, nude with the cup, and doing lap dances on guys in drag.
We sent them, 1 by 1 in an order telling a story... every other day... by mail... to his girlfriend.
Did we stop there?
HELL NO.
We signed him up for drag clothing catalogs and sex toys created especially for gay men. We sent him about $200 worth of the most bizarre "eggplant" items we could find including straws, a hat that sort of resembled a penis shaped Pope hat, etc.
After 2 weeks of those packages... that we made sure would be delivered when HE was gone and SHE was home (but addressed to him and, in quotes, his goofy name from that night) we did 1 more thing...
20 lbs of the most powder fine glitter we could find in a glitter bomb.
She dumped him within a month... and he's a cheater to this day in his relationships.
The lesson?
Don't cheat... and don't piss off 2 petty women at the same time.
submitted by IntentionalChaos214 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
I had a get together for Halloween with a few friends. It was the usual early 20s social situation with drinks, cards and tequila shots. (I know... I know.)
A guy I had previously had a fling with (truly nothing serious--he was just tall, cute as all hell and had adorable dimples but our personalities didn't mesh) was invited as a friend. No big deal.
Card game turned into Texas Hold Em and bizarre dares after you were out of poker chips. My "ex" was losing BADLY. What started as us daring him to strip somehow escalated to him running outside, nude and in 2 feet of snow, to the pond behind the apartment buildings to acquire a cup of water... and then escalated to him going, in VERY sloppy drag, to the grocery store to buy an eggplant, lube, and condoms.
Now... this is all ridiculous already. (Tequila is a bad decision, kids!) A truly memorable but insane night that can ONLY be survived or created in your early 20s.
My friend (who spurred me on) and him began flirting and things escalated a bit between them. There were photos of him in drag taken, and photos of him with my friend as well.
They made plans to see a movie a couple days later after a few calls...
He never showed up and then ghosted her.
Could we have blown it off and moved on?
Absolutely.
Did we?
Hell freaking no.
We did a bit of online stalking and found out he not only HAD A GIRLFRIEND but was LIVING with her! (Where do these people find the time for this... and how do you NOT ask questions when your man doesn't come home?!)
We hatched a plan.
We took the photos and printed them... of him in drag flirting with my friend, nude with the cup, and doing lap dances on guys in drag.
We sent them, 1 by 1 in an order telling a story... every other day... by mail... to his girlfriend.
Did we stop there?
HELL NO.
We signed him up for drag clothing catalogs and sex toys created especially for gay men. We sent him about $200 worth of the most bizarre "eggplant" items we could find including straws, a hat that sort of resembled a penis shaped Pope hat, etc.
After 2 weeks of those packages... that we made sure would be delivered when HE was gone and SHE was home (but addressed to him and, in quotes, his goofy name from that night) we did 1 more thing...
20 lbs of the most powder fine glitter we could find in a glitter bomb.
She dumped him within a month... and he's a cheater to this day in his relationships.
The lesson?
Don't cheat... and don't piss off 2 petty women at the same time.
2024.05.14 01:13 Green_Active_6365 Socially relevant behaviors in school?
So, I'm an RBT, and also a school paraprofessional for a student who's aggressive and says a lot of verbally inappropriate things. School and my agency knows I'm an RBT, and is hoping I apply behavior knowledge but knowing they can't officially ask me to use RBT or CPI procedures, but they can't get a school based para to stay with him who follows their training due to extreme risk. A lot of the kid's goals are of the verbiage, "will keep hands to himself...", "will not verbally aggress..." And I see the necessity of them, but also, if you visually compare to the behavior of the other kids, it's normal. I see kids all day faking throwing each other into doors WWE style, kids calling each other the N word with a hard r, even white kids, F slur on everyone, "roast battles", where kids degrade each other in ways I struggle not to find hilariously fitting of a Comedy Central roast. Most of his physicality starts by looking indistinguishable from his peers, usually an arm around the neck, or on a kid's shoulders, then after some sort of misunderstanding of a joke, or of his scripting taken as literal statement, he ends up punching a kid. He once was told "your hairline jacked." And replied "don't make me use the chaos emerald on you." (From Sonic?). Then he did a power up stance, and jumped on the other kid. My student doesn't seem to really grasp that other kids aren't scripting, and doesn't seem to grasp that he's saying things that we shouldn't say if we we're not scripting (ex.: "I'm going to obliterate you" from Dragon Ball Z, or performing an idle animation fighting stance from a game.) He's also still playing pretend with other neurodivergent friends while going onto 13 years old, like still pretending to get frozen. How do I shape behavior to be socially relevant when it's "physical but not too physical", "insult someone, but don't attack x,y,z." I'm of the personal belief that consent is golden, fight club rules at the extreme, but if you ask school officials, all the kids are wrong technically, but they can't afford the staff or energy to stop or punish them all. It would be inequitable to go harder on my student because he has a 1:1, but outside of an environment where he's known he's going to face repercussions. I also can't model the behavior for him. I've gone so far as dropping some swears "you can't hit kids just cuz they say dumb sh*t, it's gonna happen." And it's gotten some rapport out of him, but I can't model like: "Bish yo roots be the only part of you fatter than yo hippo a$$." -a quote I swear.
submitted by Green_Active_6365 to ABA [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:39 Strong_Dependent5066 AITAH for saying happy birthday to my bsfs ex ?
I (F) have a best friend (F), basically wayyyy before me and my female girl best friend met I had a guy best friend.
When I met my gbsf (we’re gonna call her Lana and we’re gonna call her ex Alex) when I met Lana I was already best friends with Alex eventually Lana and Alex liked each other and ofc they told me they liked the other.
Lana told me she liked Alex and Alex told me he liked Lana so without selling the other out to them I got them together everything was perfect for 8 months until they started arguing, they would ask for my opinion and I opted to stay out of it. (Cause they’re both my bsfs tf I supposed to help you w?)
When they broke up it was so messy, tears, fighting,screaming, petty remarks , rumors, Lana threw milk on Alex at one point (just acting like children)
Anyways, recently it was Alex’s birthday I posted on my Snapchat “Happy birthday ”Alex” you’re a good friend and I’m grateful for you “ I said happy birthday because for my birthday he got me presents and said happy birthday to me I’m obviously gonna have fucking manners and be cordial?
Whatever whatever said happy birthday he said thank you, later in the day Lana swipes up Saying “crazy.” I said “I’m sorry, are you upset ?” She said “Ian even mad ts js weird you told me he was flirting with you and now you’re writing paragraphs about him?”
FIRSTLY, after they broke up he would try to flirt with me but I told him to shut it down and it makes me uncomfortable and he stopped and ofc I told her (that’s my bsf fuck?) but I’m sorry paragraphs about him? Baby I wrote 3 SENTENCE WORTH I WROTE 12 WORDS. And one of those words was tagging him.
Anyways she called me weird and said she wasn’t mad she was js finding it weird, but then Lana’s little sister texted me saying “why are you fucking writing paragraphs about him when yk how badly he hurt Lana” first of all it was 12 fucking words..I told her “it was a couple words he got me stuff and said happy birthday on my birthday all I said was happy birthday I don’t get the issue with this ?”
Lana’s little sister proceeded to ridicule me (she’s in 5th grade I’m not finna argue w a child 😂😂😂) and I js said okay, when this all started and Lana texted me she told me I sajd “I love you “ to him but I never did that was another girl so, what? Anyways our texts went like this
Me - “ Then I don’t remember saying I love you to him but on some real shit I’m sorry if I upset you n shit I would be mad too ik you deserve better n I rlly don’t wanna fight w you abt smth like this n I get where you’re coming from 100% you’re absolutely right n shi n honestly I’m sorry about making you feel like that I’m glad you told me and I’ll work to fix it At the end of the day you’re my bsf n I consider you a sister to me n you have every right to be mad I’ll give you space n shit to js think n be alone “
Lana - “okay well that’s still fucking weird”
Now here’s we’re I’m upset about, Lana is BEST FRIENDS WITH MY FUCKING EX.
My ex cheated on me, abused me, played w my feelings, barely committed to me, spread rumors about me etc. but Everytime he tries talking to her or play fighting her she play fights back or gets all giggly and laughs.
You’re mad at me for saying happy birthday but you wanna be friendly to someone who genuinely hurt me, I’m not saying he didn’t hurt her but I know everything that happened and I’m not finna put my homegirls business out there cause she still my day 1 idgaf but the beef was miscommunication over him play fighting girls.
I get you could be going through it but you not finna sit in my face and say I’m fucked up when you over here having Kumbaya moments.
Anyways sorry this js long but I genuinely love this girl I’ll take any advice or opinions you guys can give me I don’t wanna loose this girl I just can’t loose her she was with me when a loved one committed suicide she was with me when my dog died she’s been through it all with me
AITAH?
Edit 1 - I took someone’s advice and I told her she can’t control who I’m talking to but I understand why she wouldn’t like it I told her I’m uncomfortable with her being friends with my ex she proceeded to say im flipping the situation to make me look like the victim and lately she thinks I’m acting shady, weird and stuff I do is starting tk annoy her
For example she told me that when they broke up she thought I would have taken her side and completely cut him off she said she felt betrayed and that I was flirting with him because he doesn’t bring lunches to school (we’re juniors in high school) so I always offer some of my food (I always bring an extra yogurt or sandwhich or whatever I made that day because I know he’s gonna be hungry) and when I gave him my food she thought it was my “excuse to talk to him” I told her that’s ridiculous and I’d never let someone to hungry especially if I have extra food
I’ve been looking at her reposts on TikTok (yes I’m a stalker I js missssss my girlllll ) and she’s been reposting a bunch of stuff saying “these females doing me wrong” or js shit that says she got betrayed, when I made this post I was angry and needed to vent I worked out took my dog for a walk and now that I’m calm I’m not angry with her I’m just anxious she’s gonna end our friendship and I still don’t see the issue with me wishing someone a happy birthday I told her I was truly just trying to be cordial with him and that if nothing was going on between me and him before they dated nothings going to happen now ESPECIALLY if that’s her ex.
Plus Me and “Alex’s” friend (we’ll call him Leo) have been going on dates lately (dinners, picnics, watching movies at the others house, our families throwing like pool backyard stuff and inviting the other, etc ) so there’s quite literally nothing there between me and “Alex” “Leo”is a sweetheart and exactly my type “Alex” is the bipolar opposite of Leo but the two are best friends I told lana this and she said she wanted time and she didn’t know if she wanted to end the friendship with me because she quote on quote “Doesn’t know if she can trust me” and “doesn’t wanna interact with a potential snake”
She called me a potential snake..
I have no hard feelings towards Lana I’ve never been one to get hurt by words I just wanna let her get all her anger out she started getting disrespectful and I put my foot down and told her
“I know you’re angry but you have no fucking right to disrespect me when I’ve been nothing but logical and understanding with you I’ve tried getting your point and I’m sorry I caused you to hurt I really am but you can’t seem to calm down and be reasonable so please stop blowing my phone up and please only talk to me when you’re open to a logical unbiased conversation”
And I left it with that (I’ll fs give more updates)
submitted by Strong_Dependent5066 to AITAH [link] [comments]
When I met my gbsf (we’re gonna call her Lana and we’re gonna call her ex Alex) when I met Lana I was already best friends with Alex eventually Lana and Alex liked each other and ofc they told me they liked the other.
Lana told me she liked Alex and Alex told me he liked Lana so without selling the other out to them I got them together everything was perfect for 8 months until they started arguing, they would ask for my opinion and I opted to stay out of it. (Cause they’re both my bsfs tf I supposed to help you w?)
When they broke up it was so messy, tears, fighting,screaming, petty remarks , rumors, Lana threw milk on Alex at one point (just acting like children)
Anyways, recently it was Alex’s birthday I posted on my Snapchat “Happy birthday ”Alex” you’re a good friend and I’m grateful for you “ I said happy birthday because for my birthday he got me presents and said happy birthday to me I’m obviously gonna have fucking manners and be cordial?
Whatever whatever said happy birthday he said thank you, later in the day Lana swipes up Saying “crazy.” I said “I’m sorry, are you upset ?” She said “Ian even mad ts js weird you told me he was flirting with you and now you’re writing paragraphs about him?”
FIRSTLY, after they broke up he would try to flirt with me but I told him to shut it down and it makes me uncomfortable and he stopped and ofc I told her (that’s my bsf fuck?) but I’m sorry paragraphs about him? Baby I wrote 3 SENTENCE WORTH I WROTE 12 WORDS. And one of those words was tagging him.
Anyways she called me weird and said she wasn’t mad she was js finding it weird, but then Lana’s little sister texted me saying “why are you fucking writing paragraphs about him when yk how badly he hurt Lana” first of all it was 12 fucking words..I told her “it was a couple words he got me stuff and said happy birthday on my birthday all I said was happy birthday I don’t get the issue with this ?”
Lana’s little sister proceeded to ridicule me (she’s in 5th grade I’m not finna argue w a child 😂😂😂) and I js said okay, when this all started and Lana texted me she told me I sajd “I love you “ to him but I never did that was another girl so, what? Anyways our texts went like this
Me - “ Then I don’t remember saying I love you to him but on some real shit I’m sorry if I upset you n shit I would be mad too ik you deserve better n I rlly don’t wanna fight w you abt smth like this n I get where you’re coming from 100% you’re absolutely right n shi n honestly I’m sorry about making you feel like that I’m glad you told me and I’ll work to fix it At the end of the day you’re my bsf n I consider you a sister to me n you have every right to be mad I’ll give you space n shit to js think n be alone “
Lana - “okay well that’s still fucking weird”
Now here’s we’re I’m upset about, Lana is BEST FRIENDS WITH MY FUCKING EX.
My ex cheated on me, abused me, played w my feelings, barely committed to me, spread rumors about me etc. but Everytime he tries talking to her or play fighting her she play fights back or gets all giggly and laughs.
You’re mad at me for saying happy birthday but you wanna be friendly to someone who genuinely hurt me, I’m not saying he didn’t hurt her but I know everything that happened and I’m not finna put my homegirls business out there cause she still my day 1 idgaf but the beef was miscommunication over him play fighting girls.
I get you could be going through it but you not finna sit in my face and say I’m fucked up when you over here having Kumbaya moments.
Anyways sorry this js long but I genuinely love this girl I’ll take any advice or opinions you guys can give me I don’t wanna loose this girl I just can’t loose her she was with me when a loved one committed suicide she was with me when my dog died she’s been through it all with me
AITAH?
Edit 1 - I took someone’s advice and I told her she can’t control who I’m talking to but I understand why she wouldn’t like it I told her I’m uncomfortable with her being friends with my ex she proceeded to say im flipping the situation to make me look like the victim and lately she thinks I’m acting shady, weird and stuff I do is starting tk annoy her
For example she told me that when they broke up she thought I would have taken her side and completely cut him off she said she felt betrayed and that I was flirting with him because he doesn’t bring lunches to school (we’re juniors in high school) so I always offer some of my food (I always bring an extra yogurt or sandwhich or whatever I made that day because I know he’s gonna be hungry) and when I gave him my food she thought it was my “excuse to talk to him” I told her that’s ridiculous and I’d never let someone to hungry especially if I have extra food
I’ve been looking at her reposts on TikTok (yes I’m a stalker I js missssss my girlllll ) and she’s been reposting a bunch of stuff saying “these females doing me wrong” or js shit that says she got betrayed, when I made this post I was angry and needed to vent I worked out took my dog for a walk and now that I’m calm I’m not angry with her I’m just anxious she’s gonna end our friendship and I still don’t see the issue with me wishing someone a happy birthday I told her I was truly just trying to be cordial with him and that if nothing was going on between me and him before they dated nothings going to happen now ESPECIALLY if that’s her ex.
Plus Me and “Alex’s” friend (we’ll call him Leo) have been going on dates lately (dinners, picnics, watching movies at the others house, our families throwing like pool backyard stuff and inviting the other, etc ) so there’s quite literally nothing there between me and “Alex” “Leo”is a sweetheart and exactly my type “Alex” is the bipolar opposite of Leo but the two are best friends I told lana this and she said she wanted time and she didn’t know if she wanted to end the friendship with me because she quote on quote “Doesn’t know if she can trust me” and “doesn’t wanna interact with a potential snake”
She called me a potential snake..
I have no hard feelings towards Lana I’ve never been one to get hurt by words I just wanna let her get all her anger out she started getting disrespectful and I put my foot down and told her
“I know you’re angry but you have no fucking right to disrespect me when I’ve been nothing but logical and understanding with you I’ve tried getting your point and I’m sorry I caused you to hurt I really am but you can’t seem to calm down and be reasonable so please stop blowing my phone up and please only talk to me when you’re open to a logical unbiased conversation”
And I left it with that (I’ll fs give more updates)
2024.05.13 23:46 jaydalogar Spoke to my first gf after 10 years, what to do next? 32M 31F
I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.
submitted by jaydalogar to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.
2024.05.13 22:53 ThrowRA_holygrav3 I (24F) broke up with my boyfriend (26M) over a CD. But what was the best way to go through it?
Hi everyone! I (24F) was in a relationship for almost 6 months with my ex-boyfriend (26M). For a context, I like to buy CDs but mostly it’s only one artist that I like or some k-pop groups. I have a separate shelf for all this, sometimes I like to open and look through albums but I don’t listen to them. We rarely discussed music and everything related to it, since we had quite different musical preferences but this never bothered me or him. Before our breakup I received a new CD and I was very happy, so I decided to send a pic of it to him. He replayed with “Yayyy” and that was it. I thought everything was fine after thar.
Later that evening we were having dinner at my apartment and when he walked past the shelf of CDs he asked where my CD player was? I replied that I don’t listen to CDs and that’s why I don’t have one. Well that escalated quickly.
He said that it was weird to buy CDs but not listen to them, to which I replied that I prefer streaming music and buy albums just for the collection. He looked at me strangely and asked how much the CDs cost. I said that they are usually around 12-25$. He laughed and said it was a stupid waste of money. At first I decided to let it go and began explain to him that I didn’t see anything stupid about it. That it’s my choice how to spend my money and I have the right to do what I want with what I buy, even if it’s basically not to do anything. He got angry and said that by my age I should have understood that there is no need to waste money on some bullsh7t like that. He compared me to a child who doesn't know what she wants and said that it’s like buying branded clothes but not wearing it. After that we got into a fight and I asked him to leave my apartment. The next day I texted him that we fought over something silly and dumb, so we can just get over it but I would like him to apologise for calling me a child. He replayed with, and I quote, «The reason for the fight wasn’t dumb, the only dumb thing is the fact that you buy CDs but don’t listen to them😂» Few hours later we broke up.
We had some mutual friends and few days later one of them texted me «Did you actually dump him cause he wasn’t happy about your Taylor Swift new CD?? Are you dense?» So I guess he had a different perspective on our breakup.
Anyway maybe I shouldn’t be that quick to end everything with him over this topic? Maybe we should have had another conversation? But idk I felt weird after everything he said. Sorry for any typos and long text, I’m kinda still going through this, it’s only been few days.
submitted by ThrowRA_holygrav3 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Later that evening we were having dinner at my apartment and when he walked past the shelf of CDs he asked where my CD player was? I replied that I don’t listen to CDs and that’s why I don’t have one. Well that escalated quickly.
He said that it was weird to buy CDs but not listen to them, to which I replied that I prefer streaming music and buy albums just for the collection. He looked at me strangely and asked how much the CDs cost. I said that they are usually around 12-25$. He laughed and said it was a stupid waste of money. At first I decided to let it go and began explain to him that I didn’t see anything stupid about it. That it’s my choice how to spend my money and I have the right to do what I want with what I buy, even if it’s basically not to do anything. He got angry and said that by my age I should have understood that there is no need to waste money on some bullsh7t like that. He compared me to a child who doesn't know what she wants and said that it’s like buying branded clothes but not wearing it. After that we got into a fight and I asked him to leave my apartment. The next day I texted him that we fought over something silly and dumb, so we can just get over it but I would like him to apologise for calling me a child. He replayed with, and I quote, «The reason for the fight wasn’t dumb, the only dumb thing is the fact that you buy CDs but don’t listen to them😂» Few hours later we broke up.
We had some mutual friends and few days later one of them texted me «Did you actually dump him cause he wasn’t happy about your Taylor Swift new CD?? Are you dense?» So I guess he had a different perspective on our breakup.
Anyway maybe I shouldn’t be that quick to end everything with him over this topic? Maybe we should have had another conversation? But idk I felt weird after everything he said. Sorry for any typos and long text, I’m kinda still going through this, it’s only been few days.
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Even the most powerful love spell may not fulfill the things that are required for a real relationship to be in place. Love should be natural and if your partner looses interest in you, its better that you let them follow the heart. If one door closes, expect another open infront of you.
Therefore witchcraft or love spells should not be the ultimate solution to mending a broken heart in a relationship, one has to make love exist naturally by doing the right things to your partner, the things that will recapture the inner feelings of love and affection as you did in the start of the relationship.
Only if and when all has been tried and failed to work that one should order for my love spells that actually work, and indeed this will be the last nail in the coffin to fix your troubled relationship permanently.
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You are not recommended to try spells to bring a lover back if you are going through the following: You know that your relationship with your ex is toxic and the best painful option to take in this is to move on. It is not a good choice to be in a relationship that is un-natural, one that is built on witchcraft. The love spark as to be their at all times.
Even the most powerful love spell may not fulfill the things that are required for a real relationship to be in place. Love should be natural and if your partner looses interest in you, its better that you let them follow the heart. If one door closes, expect another open infront of you.
Therefore witchcraft or love spells should not be the ultimate solution to mending a broken heart in a relationship, one has to make love exist naturally by doing the right things to your partner, the things that will recapture the inner feelings of love and affection as you did in the start of the relationship.
Only if and when all has been tried and failed to work that one should order for my love spells that actually work, and indeed this will be the last nail in the coffin to fix your troubled relationship permanently.
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2024.05.13 21:12 bananabear24 Dumpers who lost feelings and everything was perfect... it was a healthy relationship... did you later regret it? Were you wrong about your gut feeling, and it was something else? Thoughts/advice please???
My bf (24M) and I (23F) broke up a little over a week ago. We dated for almost exactly 1 year, but we were truly together for 1.5 years. It was more so him breaking up with me (even though I pushed him to admit he felt it was the best decision in the moment) because he recently told me out of the blue that for the past couple of months, he was waking up feeling unhappy and just didn’t know why. I was completely blindsided and had NO idea he was feeling this way at all… he hid it so well and acted like normal for 2 months. He said he had absolutely no idea why he was feeling this way and felt guilty for feeling this way. He said that he didn’t think it had anything to do with me at all because everything about me was great (I’m pretty, funny, smart, etc.), and nothing between us had changed (i.e. our routine or dynamic). He was in a 3-year LTR before me and said he knows what it’s like to be comfortable in a relationship, but this feeling was different and something he had never felt before… he said his gut was telling him it wasn’t going to work out.
To preface, our relationship was very healthy, which is why I’m asking for help since most relationships on Reddit truly have obvious problems… I just didn’t think ours did. We RARELY ever argued (every couple does, and even then I could honestly get away w/ saying we never truly did), we did fun stuff together, we were there for each other during hard times, we are both introverted, so we are respectful of each other’s alone time and needing space… we cooked dinner together, did marching band together... I truly believed he was a very mature guy. He has always dated intentionally (I was dating him intentionally too), he is incredibly loyal, very respectful, has an amazing family, has always listened to me and any concerns I ever had, it was all there… and I was the same for him... which is why I’m just so confused.
It ultimately became a mutual decision (if that’s what you would call it) but only because I didn’t really see another way out of it… what choice do you have if someone says they feel they’ve fallen out of it? I guess I figured if he had lost romantic feelings that, well… that was that. I felt like I couldn’t do anything to change that. I don’t think he wanted to break up and wanted to give it a few days to truly think it over, but I pushed it along and asked him if he felt this was the right choice deep down. He said he thought so, so I figured, well, I guess it should just end now then? I don’t think he wanted to hurt me or regret making that decision.
He told me he was so scared of regretting this and losing something really great and that he was scared of making the wrong decision. He said he didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wasn't sure if he could see it being us in the end, but do you necessarily have to especially when we’re both so young? I’m nowhere NEAR ready for marriage and I don’t think he is either, but I could’ve seen it with him a few years down the road… I don’t think you always have to know right away or have the love at first sight moment (?).
I don’t know anything about losing feelings or falling out of love, but the past few months I will say have been a more difficult time in life. We had both been searching for jobs and internships, and I know that was a stressful time for him. He applied to over 75+ positions and was constantly getting rejected. After a few months, he finally did land one, but this was a week or 2 before things ended. Things were a little stagnant between us, but we still did things to keep some excitement going. He wasn’t sure if the spark had died or what… idk. I consider this dead period a contributor, but I don’t know. I truly 100% do not believe it had to do with another girl though… he truly is a loyal and mature boyfriend.
Another thought I had was the fact that maybe this was a result of his previous relationship. We became FWB a little over a month after his 3-year LTR ended. Us hooking up was completely unexpected for both of us… he was not intentionally seeking out a rebound or anything, and I wasn’t intentionally trying to get with him either. It just happened (for backstory, we also knew each other for about 3 years already through a mutual activity, but we were never close friends).
We got drunk one night at a mutual friend’s place, went downtown, and we hooked up that night. We both just wanted something casual and did not want to date, so we stayed FWB for a few months. We both soon developed feelings 5-6 months later. We dated for almost a year after that. During those early months, he told me he felt like he was over his ex before we got together because she cheated on him and did him really wrong. I asked him over and over if he was sure, and he said yes (this was still during us just wanting to be FWB, so it didn’t feel like a bad thing. Neither of us had intentions of dating).
I wonder if he is having this loss of feelings or weird feelings because he never allowed himself time to heal after his last relationship, but I figured if our relationship was a rebound, it would not have lasted nearly as long (maybe a couple of months). I do think he truly loved me and loved dating and being with me, but sometimes I just wonder if this is where it came from? His ex was nothing great… she didn’t like his family, she complained a lot, and emotionally cheated on him with a few different guys for months. She broke up with him because quote “she didn’t feel loved.”
The only issue I really had resonated a little with this ^^^ (the “not feeling loved” part). I was lacking affection and for longer than the 2 months he had been feeling this way. I just figured this was an easy fix because it was things like “hey, I’d love it if you would call me first or call me more, maybe hold my hand more, maybe offer to pay for dinner more or offer to take me out on a planned date.” He has kind of always been like this and has admitted he’s never been great at doing those things… I just thought he needed to be more mindful of this and put in a little more effort, but I wonder if he got spooked when I asked him for these things and became afraid I would also “not feel loved” and leave?? Just a thought, but I don’t know.
Can anyone make any sense of this?? Do y’all think it was because of the internship stress, or maybe it could be problems he has to figure out on his own? Was it too good to be true?? (I’ve heard this before in a previous relationship, and they regretted leaving me back then). I don’t mean to boast, but I truly thought I was so good to him and for him and him for me. We were the perfect duo and truly related to each other through our passion for band and music. I did so much for him and (still) love him to pieces. We were fun and weird together. I love his family. Our relationship was amazing, and that’s what makes this hard. I just can NOT make sense of it.
I do really think he’s going to regret it… I believe he truly lost a really great relationship and person. He told me if it’s right, we’ll find each other again. I know this is possible but only after we each heal and work on ourselves. We’ve been in no contact, and I believe no contact will ultimately give each of us the best outcome, whether it’s together in the end or allowing ourselves to fully heal and move on. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to be, it'll be. Is it bad to think it could work out after a few months of NC? I don’t want to have false hope, but because it’s only been a week and it’s the breakup is so fresh, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some small sliver of hope because the relationship was just so good and healthy (trust me, I’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship and know when it’s time to absolutely step away). My mindset is ultimately to focus on myself during this time and learn from the relationship.
Can anyone give some insight on this? Can people TRULY just lose romantic feelings if the relationship was great, or is it him being comfortable/maybe an external factor causing this? Maybe someone can tell me what goes through a guy’s mind with this or what you think could have happened? Have you ever had a gut feeling and your feeling was right, or was it not right and potentially an external factor?
Tl;dr: My ex and I had a very healthy and loving relationship, but he said he’s been waking up feeling unhappy the past couple of months. I was blindsided and just cannot make sense of the situation. He’s very loyal, so I don’t think it was another girl at all. I don’t know what made him start feeling this way… I think he is going to regret this decision.
submitted by bananabear24 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
To preface, our relationship was very healthy, which is why I’m asking for help since most relationships on Reddit truly have obvious problems… I just didn’t think ours did. We RARELY ever argued (every couple does, and even then I could honestly get away w/ saying we never truly did), we did fun stuff together, we were there for each other during hard times, we are both introverted, so we are respectful of each other’s alone time and needing space… we cooked dinner together, did marching band together... I truly believed he was a very mature guy. He has always dated intentionally (I was dating him intentionally too), he is incredibly loyal, very respectful, has an amazing family, has always listened to me and any concerns I ever had, it was all there… and I was the same for him... which is why I’m just so confused.
It ultimately became a mutual decision (if that’s what you would call it) but only because I didn’t really see another way out of it… what choice do you have if someone says they feel they’ve fallen out of it? I guess I figured if he had lost romantic feelings that, well… that was that. I felt like I couldn’t do anything to change that. I don’t think he wanted to break up and wanted to give it a few days to truly think it over, but I pushed it along and asked him if he felt this was the right choice deep down. He said he thought so, so I figured, well, I guess it should just end now then? I don’t think he wanted to hurt me or regret making that decision.
He told me he was so scared of regretting this and losing something really great and that he was scared of making the wrong decision. He said he didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wasn't sure if he could see it being us in the end, but do you necessarily have to especially when we’re both so young? I’m nowhere NEAR ready for marriage and I don’t think he is either, but I could’ve seen it with him a few years down the road… I don’t think you always have to know right away or have the love at first sight moment (?).
I don’t know anything about losing feelings or falling out of love, but the past few months I will say have been a more difficult time in life. We had both been searching for jobs and internships, and I know that was a stressful time for him. He applied to over 75+ positions and was constantly getting rejected. After a few months, he finally did land one, but this was a week or 2 before things ended. Things were a little stagnant between us, but we still did things to keep some excitement going. He wasn’t sure if the spark had died or what… idk. I consider this dead period a contributor, but I don’t know. I truly 100% do not believe it had to do with another girl though… he truly is a loyal and mature boyfriend.
Another thought I had was the fact that maybe this was a result of his previous relationship. We became FWB a little over a month after his 3-year LTR ended. Us hooking up was completely unexpected for both of us… he was not intentionally seeking out a rebound or anything, and I wasn’t intentionally trying to get with him either. It just happened (for backstory, we also knew each other for about 3 years already through a mutual activity, but we were never close friends).
We got drunk one night at a mutual friend’s place, went downtown, and we hooked up that night. We both just wanted something casual and did not want to date, so we stayed FWB for a few months. We both soon developed feelings 5-6 months later. We dated for almost a year after that. During those early months, he told me he felt like he was over his ex before we got together because she cheated on him and did him really wrong. I asked him over and over if he was sure, and he said yes (this was still during us just wanting to be FWB, so it didn’t feel like a bad thing. Neither of us had intentions of dating).
I wonder if he is having this loss of feelings or weird feelings because he never allowed himself time to heal after his last relationship, but I figured if our relationship was a rebound, it would not have lasted nearly as long (maybe a couple of months). I do think he truly loved me and loved dating and being with me, but sometimes I just wonder if this is where it came from? His ex was nothing great… she didn’t like his family, she complained a lot, and emotionally cheated on him with a few different guys for months. She broke up with him because quote “she didn’t feel loved.”
The only issue I really had resonated a little with this ^^^ (the “not feeling loved” part). I was lacking affection and for longer than the 2 months he had been feeling this way. I just figured this was an easy fix because it was things like “hey, I’d love it if you would call me first or call me more, maybe hold my hand more, maybe offer to pay for dinner more or offer to take me out on a planned date.” He has kind of always been like this and has admitted he’s never been great at doing those things… I just thought he needed to be more mindful of this and put in a little more effort, but I wonder if he got spooked when I asked him for these things and became afraid I would also “not feel loved” and leave?? Just a thought, but I don’t know.
Can anyone make any sense of this?? Do y’all think it was because of the internship stress, or maybe it could be problems he has to figure out on his own? Was it too good to be true?? (I’ve heard this before in a previous relationship, and they regretted leaving me back then). I don’t mean to boast, but I truly thought I was so good to him and for him and him for me. We were the perfect duo and truly related to each other through our passion for band and music. I did so much for him and (still) love him to pieces. We were fun and weird together. I love his family. Our relationship was amazing, and that’s what makes this hard. I just can NOT make sense of it.
I do really think he’s going to regret it… I believe he truly lost a really great relationship and person. He told me if it’s right, we’ll find each other again. I know this is possible but only after we each heal and work on ourselves. We’ve been in no contact, and I believe no contact will ultimately give each of us the best outcome, whether it’s together in the end or allowing ourselves to fully heal and move on. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and if it's meant to be, it'll be. Is it bad to think it could work out after a few months of NC? I don’t want to have false hope, but because it’s only been a week and it’s the breakup is so fresh, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some small sliver of hope because the relationship was just so good and healthy (trust me, I’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship and know when it’s time to absolutely step away). My mindset is ultimately to focus on myself during this time and learn from the relationship.
Can anyone give some insight on this? Can people TRULY just lose romantic feelings if the relationship was great, or is it him being comfortable/maybe an external factor causing this? Maybe someone can tell me what goes through a guy’s mind with this or what you think could have happened? Have you ever had a gut feeling and your feeling was right, or was it not right and potentially an external factor?
Tl;dr: My ex and I had a very healthy and loving relationship, but he said he’s been waking up feeling unhappy the past couple of months. I was blindsided and just cannot make sense of the situation. He’s very loyal, so I don’t think it was another girl at all. I don’t know what made him start feeling this way… I think he is going to regret this decision.
2024.05.13 19:30 mentorofminos Dealing with a scummy box-store Electrician company
So I'm going to avoid naming the name of the company because I'm currently in a dispute with them. I've posted here before about a proposed $27,731.60 "service replacement" charge that this company suggested after telling me that my smoke alarm system had died and that it was due to "corroded electrical supply that was past its serviceable lifespan".
I'm happy to report that I did not acquiesce to any such outlandish charge and instead got the opinions of three different qualified electricians from the area. The most I was quoted was $2,300, i.e. 1/10 of the proposed cost, to change out the circuit breaker panel, but the other 2 electricians said they didn't think there was anything the matter with my electrical supply and that there was no corrosion on the buses and everything was wired neat and tidy.
The rage I feel. Ohhhh the rage.
So then I found out that the smoke alarms they charged me $2,700 to install a year or so ago were actually $119 Kidde brand combo smoke/CO alarms with wireless interconnect. Those detectors come, by default, with a 10-year sealed battery, bear that in mind. In other words, they come factory direct that way at the $119 price point. The number they installed even with labor at $115/hour shouldn't have come to more than $1k, so being charged nearly $3k raised my alarm bells. I dug into it further and got a detailed invoice from the company and yup, they gouged me.
They charged the following:
6 counts of "wireless combination smoke/co detector" at $228.60/count = $1,371.60 3 counts of "install a wireless battery operated smoke and CO detector" at $178.20 per = $534.60 9 counts of "add 10 year sealed battery to detector" at $52/count = $468 (!!!!!!!!) Heat detector units at $166.50/count for 2 counts = $333
Total of $2,707.20
Those heat detectors by the way cost even less than the smokes because they don't have voice command or wireless operation, they're just hard wired heat detectors.
I was OUTRAGED that they were literally charging me $468 to "add a battery" when the battery comes with the unit straight out of the box and requires no additional assembly or work. Disgusting price gouging.
Fortunately, there was a "service satisfaction guarantee" clause and you bet your 3rd point of contact that I invoked that! So I did get the money back for the smokes, every penny of it.
The company is now, however, jerking me around about a $468 charge (different from the one in the invoice) for one of their electricians to come to my home and try to "fix" my smoke alarm system. But it wasn't broken. Indeed, all that happened is that one of the units had a fault and just needed to be re-initialized, but it just so happened that the one in question was the "hub" unit that acted as the central connector for all of the others in the wireless grid. So when that faulted, all of the others started chirping and saying "connection lost!" over and over and over again at 1 o'clock in the morning.
The only thing the goofus that they sent out did was just push the silence button, put the alarms back up, and then 15 minutes later when they inevitably unsilenced after the 15 minute hush period and started screaming "connection lost!" again, he tells me that my system is damaged beyond repair because of my outdated electrical supply and I'll need to get the full service updated at which point they can get a warranty replacement on the smoke alarms.
Bruh. -.-
So after he leaves, I call Kidde, the manufacturer, and confirm that in fact all I ACTUALLY have to do is hold the button down on the central unit for about 8 seconds until I get 3 beeps, then hold each of the other units down for about 5 seconds until I get 2 beeps, then hold the central unit down for 5 seconds and get 2 beeps and they alllllll reconnect and reinitialize. Took me less than 5 minutes.
How a licensed electrician working for the company that installed those units didn't do that while at my home for 3.5 hours is beyond me. I have to assume he was intentionally not fixing the units in order to pressure me into a $27,731.60 service agreement. That or he was inept. I don't know which is the more generous thing to assume, frankly.
The same company also installed a whole home surge protector on my circuit breaker. It's internally fused, apparently, so it's patched DIRECTLY into the main breaker, not onto sub breaker. It's a PSP Category 1 Hurricane Surge Protector (model #HC1C100-06N) and I called PSP, the manufacturer, directly to try to get a quote on the price for it, but they tell me they are a factory that sells directly to electricians, so they can't quote me a value. But I'm willing to bet it's substantially less than $1,100.
So my question is this: I know for sure they were taking me for a ride from the beginning because online sources tell me residential whole home surge protectors cost typically between $30 and $150 or so based on the quality and brand. And that installation is usually another $200ish. I'm curious to know: have any of you worked with a PSP Cat-1 Hurricane surge protector? Are they low quality, mid, or high? About what do they charge you as the electrician? About what do you typically charge to install? Bonus points if you're in western Massachusetts or the New England market in general and can quote approximately what it would cost to do this. I'm trying to establish that in all 3 cases this company grossly overcharged me, because I want my money back for any work they did since it has, thus far, all been substandard.
And to clarify, they were not running any new wires for the smoke alarm system or for the surge protector. They used existing breakers and existing wires, so it cannot be the case that they were justifying a higher charge for that reason. They literally put up 9 smoke alarms on existing wires, took them like an hour and a half, so at the $115/hour rate they quote that should have been like $180 of install charges plus maybe a fee for rolling a truck out here and the cost of the units themselves. Something a little over $1k would have made sense. In my defense, it was the middle of the pandemic, I was going through a messy breakup with an ex who cohabitated and co-owned my home at the time, and looking up prices for smoke detectors was not at the top of my priority list at the time of this charge. I guess "caveat emptor" so my fault a bit, but also screw that nonsense, electricians shouldn't be cut-throat bastards, they should quote an honest price for honest work.
submitted by mentorofminos to AskElectricians [link] [comments]
I'm happy to report that I did not acquiesce to any such outlandish charge and instead got the opinions of three different qualified electricians from the area. The most I was quoted was $2,300, i.e. 1/10 of the proposed cost, to change out the circuit breaker panel, but the other 2 electricians said they didn't think there was anything the matter with my electrical supply and that there was no corrosion on the buses and everything was wired neat and tidy.
The rage I feel. Ohhhh the rage.
So then I found out that the smoke alarms they charged me $2,700 to install a year or so ago were actually $119 Kidde brand combo smoke/CO alarms with wireless interconnect. Those detectors come, by default, with a 10-year sealed battery, bear that in mind. In other words, they come factory direct that way at the $119 price point. The number they installed even with labor at $115/hour shouldn't have come to more than $1k, so being charged nearly $3k raised my alarm bells. I dug into it further and got a detailed invoice from the company and yup, they gouged me.
They charged the following:
6 counts of "wireless combination smoke/co detector" at $228.60/count = $1,371.60 3 counts of "install a wireless battery operated smoke and CO detector" at $178.20 per = $534.60 9 counts of "add 10 year sealed battery to detector" at $52/count = $468 (!!!!!!!!) Heat detector units at $166.50/count for 2 counts = $333
Total of $2,707.20
Those heat detectors by the way cost even less than the smokes because they don't have voice command or wireless operation, they're just hard wired heat detectors.
I was OUTRAGED that they were literally charging me $468 to "add a battery" when the battery comes with the unit straight out of the box and requires no additional assembly or work. Disgusting price gouging.
Fortunately, there was a "service satisfaction guarantee" clause and you bet your 3rd point of contact that I invoked that! So I did get the money back for the smokes, every penny of it.
The company is now, however, jerking me around about a $468 charge (different from the one in the invoice) for one of their electricians to come to my home and try to "fix" my smoke alarm system. But it wasn't broken. Indeed, all that happened is that one of the units had a fault and just needed to be re-initialized, but it just so happened that the one in question was the "hub" unit that acted as the central connector for all of the others in the wireless grid. So when that faulted, all of the others started chirping and saying "connection lost!" over and over and over again at 1 o'clock in the morning.
The only thing the goofus that they sent out did was just push the silence button, put the alarms back up, and then 15 minutes later when they inevitably unsilenced after the 15 minute hush period and started screaming "connection lost!" again, he tells me that my system is damaged beyond repair because of my outdated electrical supply and I'll need to get the full service updated at which point they can get a warranty replacement on the smoke alarms.
Bruh. -.-
So after he leaves, I call Kidde, the manufacturer, and confirm that in fact all I ACTUALLY have to do is hold the button down on the central unit for about 8 seconds until I get 3 beeps, then hold each of the other units down for about 5 seconds until I get 2 beeps, then hold the central unit down for 5 seconds and get 2 beeps and they alllllll reconnect and reinitialize. Took me less than 5 minutes.
How a licensed electrician working for the company that installed those units didn't do that while at my home for 3.5 hours is beyond me. I have to assume he was intentionally not fixing the units in order to pressure me into a $27,731.60 service agreement. That or he was inept. I don't know which is the more generous thing to assume, frankly.
The same company also installed a whole home surge protector on my circuit breaker. It's internally fused, apparently, so it's patched DIRECTLY into the main breaker, not onto sub breaker. It's a PSP Category 1 Hurricane Surge Protector (model #HC1C100-06N) and I called PSP, the manufacturer, directly to try to get a quote on the price for it, but they tell me they are a factory that sells directly to electricians, so they can't quote me a value. But I'm willing to bet it's substantially less than $1,100.
So my question is this: I know for sure they were taking me for a ride from the beginning because online sources tell me residential whole home surge protectors cost typically between $30 and $150 or so based on the quality and brand. And that installation is usually another $200ish. I'm curious to know: have any of you worked with a PSP Cat-1 Hurricane surge protector? Are they low quality, mid, or high? About what do they charge you as the electrician? About what do you typically charge to install? Bonus points if you're in western Massachusetts or the New England market in general and can quote approximately what it would cost to do this. I'm trying to establish that in all 3 cases this company grossly overcharged me, because I want my money back for any work they did since it has, thus far, all been substandard.
And to clarify, they were not running any new wires for the smoke alarm system or for the surge protector. They used existing breakers and existing wires, so it cannot be the case that they were justifying a higher charge for that reason. They literally put up 9 smoke alarms on existing wires, took them like an hour and a half, so at the $115/hour rate they quote that should have been like $180 of install charges plus maybe a fee for rolling a truck out here and the cost of the units themselves. Something a little over $1k would have made sense. In my defense, it was the middle of the pandemic, I was going through a messy breakup with an ex who cohabitated and co-owned my home at the time, and looking up prices for smoke detectors was not at the top of my priority list at the time of this charge. I guess "caveat emptor" so my fault a bit, but also screw that nonsense, electricians shouldn't be cut-throat bastards, they should quote an honest price for honest work.
2024.05.13 18:49 shaneka69 KEEP GOING
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2024.05.13 18:20 incandenza74 Drug test and physical requested before an interview? + Sketchy emails/texts?
For context, I’m brand new to this industry, so I don’t know how the hiring process is supposed to work. This is a long post because I’m quoting a lot of receipts. TL;DR is that I’ve gotten lots of sketchy emails and texts about this job and now am being asked to take a drug test and physical but have yet to have an interview or even get asked to schedule an interview. I haven’t taken the drug test or physical either because I’ve never been asked to provide this info for a job until after interviewing. I just want to know if this seems normal/legit.
Ok, summary and receipts below…
On 5/8 I applied for a “FedEx Delivery Driver” job on Indeed, with contractor Jigsaw Enterprises Inc. in King of Prussia, PA. (First of all, I can’t find any info on Jigsaw. The address in the listing points to a real FedEx center. But I can’t find a company website, contact info, or records for this contractor.)
An hour later I got an email from fadv3@routeelite.com with the subject line “Let's get your back ground [sic] started for your job.” The email says, “Our team will shortly send you a background application from a third party company called ‘First Advantage’. This is the company that will do the background. It is important to fill out the application asap and follow thru with all instructions.” This email looked sketchy to me. No company names or logos, poor grammar, etc. I’m not even sure who it’s supposed to be from as there’s no signature. The email concluded with the phone number 206.249.9368. I called it but it went straight to infinite hold music. When I tried calling again I got a busy tone.
5/9 morning I got an email from do_not_reply@fadv.com with the link to the background check. “Contracted Service Provider with FedEx Ground requests that you begin this simple process to initiate, complete and receive your own background screening report in an easy to use application called Profile Advantage, powered by First Advantage... There is a limited time to complete the screening, so be sure to start today. https://pa.fadv.com/#/invite/?key=XFDWDJRPZO” It looked legit with official Profile Advantage logos and everything so I followed the link and completed it. (My memory is hazy but I might have sent over my SSN during that check.)
On 5/10 I got an email from FADVReports-NoReply@fadv.com with a request for a drug test and physical. It looked all official with a First Advantage logo, authorization # bar code, information on a real local clinic to go for the tests, etc. This seemed very weird to me though because at this point I still hadn’t heard anything from Jigsaw Enterprises directly. Nobody had called me for an interview or anything.
On 5/11 I got an email from hello@managemylogistics.com with the subject line “Let’s get your back ground [sic] started for your job” and the message “We still do not have your DOT physical exam card. Please go to a health center asap to get this done. Click here to see the list of locations and further instructions. We have a full team that is also available to assist you in filling out the application thoroughly. You can also call them during business hours 7 days a week: 206.249.9368. We look forward to working with you.” I haven’t clicked on the link because this email seems very sketchy. Also, getting that same phone number from a different email address is weird.
The same day (5/11) I got a text from +1 (206) 202-6167 saying, “We still do not have your DOT physical exam card. Please go to a health center asap to get this done. Click this link https://mml.softr.app/appbg?recordId=recU5blKpdw5CXEKV You can call our team at: 2062499368 for further assistance.” I haven’t clicked the link.
On 5/12 I got an email from fadv3@routeelite.com with the subject line “We need your medical examiner certificate to proceed with your background.” The email said, “You applied for a delivery driver job with JigzawEnterprises on 2024-05-08T16:32:25.000Z. In order to proceed you must do a physical test at a health center location and provide us with your Medical Examiner Certificate. Please click HERE to find out the addresses where you can go to. It is completley free of charge. Once you have it please make sure to upload it and we'll get you started on a great career in a jiffy. If you're no longer interested pelase click [HERE] and we'll notify JigzawEnterprises that you are no longer interested.” But there’s no link given at the [HERE] and no phone number for me to call.
That same day (5/12) I got another text from +1 (206) 202-6167 saying, “hi JORDAN, you applied for a job with JigzawEnterprises. Please make sure to get your medical examiner certificate asap so we can get you started with a great career. Click this link to find out the addresses of the health center locations https://mmlre.io/KKn2ek” I haven’t clicked on the link.
Then finally this morning I got another email from First Advantage. (Email address is DoNotReply@fadv.com, slightly different than the first email I got from them at do_not_reply@fadv.com.) Subject line “URGENT Request for Information . Your FedEx Ground Package Systems - CSP Driver Qualification File” The message reads, “First Advantage is managing your DOT Driver Qualification file on behalf of FedEx Ground Package Systems - CSP and we need your help today to obtain missing documentation. Responding today via the secure link will instantly provide us the information we need to move forward to complete this process. Please make this a priority now. The following mandatory information must be uploaded to our website immediately, using the secure link below: Requested InformationYour Medical Examiner’s Certificate (Form MCSA-5876) must be uploaded to our website using the secure link below. -- Required Form Information: IF you’re an existing driver, your MEC is due to expire in 15 days, upload NEW MEC to maintain file compliance. -- IF you’re still in qualification process, upload current MEC Link to upload information: https://pa.fadv.com/#/invite/?key=efb5c9c0-06fa-413e-81fb-2ef0785c43b”
submitted by incandenza74 to Fedexers [link] [comments]
Ok, summary and receipts below…
On 5/8 I applied for a “FedEx Delivery Driver” job on Indeed, with contractor Jigsaw Enterprises Inc. in King of Prussia, PA. (First of all, I can’t find any info on Jigsaw. The address in the listing points to a real FedEx center. But I can’t find a company website, contact info, or records for this contractor.)
An hour later I got an email from fadv3@routeelite.com with the subject line “Let's get your back ground [sic] started for your job.” The email says, “Our team will shortly send you a background application from a third party company called ‘First Advantage’. This is the company that will do the background. It is important to fill out the application asap and follow thru with all instructions.” This email looked sketchy to me. No company names or logos, poor grammar, etc. I’m not even sure who it’s supposed to be from as there’s no signature. The email concluded with the phone number 206.249.9368. I called it but it went straight to infinite hold music. When I tried calling again I got a busy tone.
5/9 morning I got an email from do_not_reply@fadv.com with the link to the background check. “Contracted Service Provider with FedEx Ground requests that you begin this simple process to initiate, complete and receive your own background screening report in an easy to use application called Profile Advantage, powered by First Advantage... There is a limited time to complete the screening, so be sure to start today. https://pa.fadv.com/#/invite/?key=XFDWDJRPZO” It looked legit with official Profile Advantage logos and everything so I followed the link and completed it. (My memory is hazy but I might have sent over my SSN during that check.)
On 5/10 I got an email from FADVReports-NoReply@fadv.com with a request for a drug test and physical. It looked all official with a First Advantage logo, authorization # bar code, information on a real local clinic to go for the tests, etc. This seemed very weird to me though because at this point I still hadn’t heard anything from Jigsaw Enterprises directly. Nobody had called me for an interview or anything.
On 5/11 I got an email from hello@managemylogistics.com with the subject line “Let’s get your back ground [sic] started for your job” and the message “We still do not have your DOT physical exam card. Please go to a health center asap to get this done. Click here to see the list of locations and further instructions. We have a full team that is also available to assist you in filling out the application thoroughly. You can also call them during business hours 7 days a week: 206.249.9368. We look forward to working with you.” I haven’t clicked on the link because this email seems very sketchy. Also, getting that same phone number from a different email address is weird.
The same day (5/11) I got a text from +1 (206) 202-6167 saying, “We still do not have your DOT physical exam card. Please go to a health center asap to get this done. Click this link https://mml.softr.app/appbg?recordId=recU5blKpdw5CXEKV You can call our team at: 2062499368 for further assistance.” I haven’t clicked the link.
On 5/12 I got an email from fadv3@routeelite.com with the subject line “We need your medical examiner certificate to proceed with your background.” The email said, “You applied for a delivery driver job with JigzawEnterprises on 2024-05-08T16:32:25.000Z. In order to proceed you must do a physical test at a health center location and provide us with your Medical Examiner Certificate. Please click HERE to find out the addresses where you can go to. It is completley free of charge. Once you have it please make sure to upload it and we'll get you started on a great career in a jiffy. If you're no longer interested pelase click [HERE] and we'll notify JigzawEnterprises that you are no longer interested.” But there’s no link given at the [HERE] and no phone number for me to call.
That same day (5/12) I got another text from +1 (206) 202-6167 saying, “hi JORDAN, you applied for a job with JigzawEnterprises. Please make sure to get your medical examiner certificate asap so we can get you started with a great career. Click this link to find out the addresses of the health center locations https://mmlre.io/KKn2ek” I haven’t clicked on the link.
Then finally this morning I got another email from First Advantage. (Email address is DoNotReply@fadv.com, slightly different than the first email I got from them at do_not_reply@fadv.com.) Subject line “URGENT Request for Information . Your FedEx Ground Package Systems - CSP Driver Qualification File” The message reads, “First Advantage is managing your DOT Driver Qualification file on behalf of FedEx Ground Package Systems - CSP and we need your help today to obtain missing documentation. Responding today via the secure link will instantly provide us the information we need to move forward to complete this process. Please make this a priority now. The following mandatory information must be uploaded to our website immediately, using the secure link below: Requested InformationYour Medical Examiner’s Certificate (Form MCSA-5876) must be uploaded to our website using the secure link below. -- Required Form Information: IF you’re an existing driver, your MEC is due to expire in 15 days, upload NEW MEC to maintain file compliance. -- IF you’re still in qualification process, upload current MEC Link to upload information: https://pa.fadv.com/#/invite/?key=efb5c9c0-06fa-413e-81fb-2ef0785c43b”
2024.05.13 14:57 advanced_-_monkey Coping Cell Values from Worksheet A to Worksheet B – Formatting and Formula Errors
I have 2 worksheets in one workbook that are almost identical, but one has a few columns and tables hidden which in no way should be related to my issues. For context, the workbook is an insurance application, Sheet A to be filled by the applicant, Sheet B is where me and my team put in rates and other info we need to quote. So, I want all the values input on Sheet A to be duplicated in Sheet B with their corresponding cells.
Issue #1: I think I know why, but hoping there’s a work around .. The formula used to duplicate values from Sheet A to Sheet B do not translate with formulas in Sheet B. Ex.: Formula in cell on Sheet B to copy cell on Sheet A: ='Agent Filled SOV - Ex. Accts'!R5 & "" Formula on Sheet B using the value in the cell with the “copy” formula that now reads #VALUE and does not calc: =IF(R5,T5/R5,0)
Issue #2: Same scenario as Issue #1, but when I use the exact same “copy” formula in the 4 columns with Currency values listed, and the one column set as a Fraction, it freaks out! None of the Currency cells will read as currency, no matter what Number Format I choose for those cells/columns. Same goes with the decimal place for randomly some of the cells (even deep diving into the “More Number Formats …” section changes nothing), and only a few cells set as fractions actually are fractions and not decimals. The screens shots really explain this more.
Screenshots:
https://ibb.co/TgvrKJy https://ibb.co/ypm5JYP https://ibb.co/XtVzJj9 https://ibb.co/FsYRtcS
I really appreciate your help!!
submitted by advanced_-_monkey to excel [link] [comments]
Issue #1: I think I know why, but hoping there’s a work around .. The formula used to duplicate values from Sheet A to Sheet B do not translate with formulas in Sheet B. Ex.: Formula in cell on Sheet B to copy cell on Sheet A: ='Agent Filled SOV - Ex. Accts'!R5 & "" Formula on Sheet B using the value in the cell with the “copy” formula that now reads #VALUE and does not calc: =IF(R5,T5/R5,0)
Issue #2: Same scenario as Issue #1, but when I use the exact same “copy” formula in the 4 columns with Currency values listed, and the one column set as a Fraction, it freaks out! None of the Currency cells will read as currency, no matter what Number Format I choose for those cells/columns. Same goes with the decimal place for randomly some of the cells (even deep diving into the “More Number Formats …” section changes nothing), and only a few cells set as fractions actually are fractions and not decimals. The screens shots really explain this more.
Screenshots:
https://ibb.co/TgvrKJy https://ibb.co/ypm5JYP https://ibb.co/XtVzJj9 https://ibb.co/FsYRtcS
I really appreciate your help!!
2024.05.13 14:24 TriumphantLioness Multi Mondays - Review exchange for multi-chapter fics
Review exchange for multi-chapter fics!
Rules:
- Fic you post must have more than one chapter.
- Post a link to your fic, along with the fandom and a brief summary.
- If you post your fic here you must review at least one other submitted fic. You only have to review one chapter of another fiction, but if you have say a 10k word chapter it would be nice if you tried to review equivalent to that.
- When you review someone else's fic, please comment under it to let them know.
The deadline for entries is 72 hours after the time this post is posted. After the deadline closes, you have another 48 hours to finish your reviews. You, of course, don't have to wait for the deadline to review if you see something you like before that.
If you fail to review by the time the deadline, a reminder will be given, after which you will have another 24 hours to review. Repeated failure to do your fair share may result in a temporary ban. No concrit, unless the author states that it is ok, or is posting in a thread where it states concrit is allowed.
For reviews: For all daily threads posted by automod: fictions over 1000 words, minimum of 30 words on your review. For fictions under 1000 words, 20 words will suffice. Quoted parts do not count as part of your review. For user posted threads the thread starter can state their own requirement and if one if not stated the above rules will be in action.
- Be fair - ex: if you post a 5000 word fic, try to review something of similar length, or several fics equaling similar length.
submitted by TriumphantLioness to FicReviewExchange [link] [comments]
Rules:
- Fic you post must have more than one chapter.
- Post a link to your fic, along with the fandom and a brief summary.
- If you post your fic here you must review at least one other submitted fic. You only have to review one chapter of another fiction, but if you have say a 10k word chapter it would be nice if you tried to review equivalent to that.
- When you review someone else's fic, please comment under it to let them know.
The deadline for entries is 72 hours after the time this post is posted. After the deadline closes, you have another 48 hours to finish your reviews. You, of course, don't have to wait for the deadline to review if you see something you like before that.
If you fail to review by the time the deadline, a reminder will be given, after which you will have another 24 hours to review. Repeated failure to do your fair share may result in a temporary ban. No concrit, unless the author states that it is ok, or is posting in a thread where it states concrit is allowed.
For reviews: For all daily threads posted by automod: fictions over 1000 words, minimum of 30 words on your review. For fictions under 1000 words, 20 words will suffice. Quoted parts do not count as part of your review. For user posted threads the thread starter can state their own requirement and if one if not stated the above rules will be in action.
- Be fair - ex: if you post a 5000 word fic, try to review something of similar length, or several fics equaling similar length.
2024.05.13 14:04 Swing_Trader_Trading Large Cap Stalwarts Update 5/10/2024 – Up 25%
 | Blog Post: submitted by Swing_Trader_Trading to Swing_Trader_Trading [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/z1l0pn8bo60d1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=b7758566f4391973e20d4331a12c91e2a375466c The Model Portfolio Large Cap Stalwarts was updated this weekend. New Adds of 12 stocks were made and Removals of 6 stocks were made. All prices are as of 05/10/2024. A total of 20 stocks are in the Portfolio now. Add – ACGL, BRO, CHRW, GOOGL, GRMN, HAS, HWM, MS, PHM, RCL, STLD, WABRemove – BLK, CAH, HST, NVR, TAP, VMCThe Model Portfolio Large Cap Stalwarts continues its outperformance over its benchmark RSP. It is now up 25% since it went live. This is 7% ahead of its benchmark RSP.BackTest – The Backtest for this Portfolio outperformed the RSP benchmark in 12 out of the 19 years tested. It underperformed in years 2008, 2009, 2011, 2013, 2018 and 2020. It was largely even with the benchmark in 2010. When the Portfolio outperformed, it was usually by a significant margin. The best year was 2017 when it was up by 44% See the Large Cap Stalwarts Portfolio Detail HereYOUTUBE Swing Trader Trading Channelhttps://preview.redd.it/idb0ypgfo60d1.png?width=1009&format=png&auto=webp&s=6e537553554fa79a90adb7fe046f6d0909c30bf7Performance 12/31/2022 to 05/10/2024https://preview.redd.it/nc9vup1ko60d1.png?width=571&format=png&auto=webp&s=ccf15d776c7227cd118cf4e668825f13e6a7bdf0https://preview.redd.it/medn6gbpo60d1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=42aad22ae3f479b3f5ddd45d8d89acbb70634398 The Large Cap Stalwarts Model Portfolio continues to outperform its RSP benchmark by a healthy amount. This month, 12 stocks were Added and 6 stocks Removed. This net addition is normal for the 2nd month of a quarter since many new earnings reports are in the database giving the software fresh data to work with. The Portfolio continues to outperform its equal weight S&P 500 index, RSP.All content on this site is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Consult relevant financial professionals in your country of residence to get personalized advice before you make any trading or investing decisions. Disclaimer |
2024.05.13 04:39 Ok-Calm-Narwhal Foreign National here (born abroad outside Taiwan in the U.S.), and I just got my full Taiwanese citizenship with residency and NWHR passport using the new 2024 citizenship laws for those with parents from Taiwan… I can vote in Taiwan now!! (Some helpful tips posted here as well)
For those who are unaware, there was a very recent change (January 1, 2024) in the residency requirements for foreign Taiwanese nationals - people with Taiwanese parent(s). For these people, Taiwan has what is called a National Without Household Registration (NWOHR) Passport. It is green and looks like a normal Taiwan passport, but it doesn’t convey full citizenship rights as it didn’t include residency and household registration. (I posted mine here in the passport sub).
Prior to this year, in order for someone with a NWOHR passport to qualify as a full citizen, they had to first live in Taiwan for 366 days in a row without leaving the country (there were some other options that allowed you to leave for short times involving 2 and 5 years, but also quite impossible for most, unless you were in Covid lockdown or found a job in Taiwan.)
But earlier this year, Taiwan’s government removed this requirement for NWOHR passport holders who had at least one parent with household registration at the time of their birth. Hence, to get your own household residency and full citizenship, you no longer have to live in Taiwan for a year without leaving. You can just go to Taiwan, spend a few weeks there and complete the application process to obtain residency and a National ID, and become a full citizen of Taiwan. Taiwan will also allow you to keep your other citizenship (as long as they allow dual citizenship with Taiwan, which the U.S. does).
I kept really detailed notes and will post below some tips from my experience. The most important one is that what was formerly known as the TARC is now folded into the 定居證 (permanent resident certificate). So you just skip having to live in Taiwan for a year but provide almost the exact same documents as the old TARC for your 定居證.
There is a process listed here which says that you can start the permanent residency certificate from outside Taiwan to shorten your time in Taiwan by just exchanging your permit in 3 days. However, when I spoke to people at TECO a few months ago, and then more recently immigration in Taipei, they said I had to start the process in Taiwan. A friend’s parents in Taiwan also called immigration the other day and they told them the same thing. So not sure how one would go about the shortened process that is in on their website. But if anyone has successfully done the shortened process themselves, please post and let us know how you were able to get it done since it would cut the process by 1.5 weeks and help out a lot of folks who can’t spend 2-3 weeks in Taiwan.
This older post in this sub covers military conscription and also has many previous links about what to do if you are male and 18-36 written by FewSandwich6. (This was not applicable for me).
This very helpful post here contains a list of definitions for commonly used terms in Chinese and English that are often used in this process, written by HongKonger85. There is also an image of a 定居證 (Permanent Residency Certificate) after immigration has issued it to you, and this is what you need to swap for household registration (covered in Part 2 below).
My detailed notes for folks are as follows. Part 1 based on my experience getting my NWOHR passport, and Part 2 getting residency, my National ID, and full citizenship in Taiwan. Some info repeats what has already been mentioned in previous threads, with the difference being the new 2024 rule change. There are probably other ways to get this process done, but just sharing my own recent experience to help others looking to do this now.
In all, I am so glad I did this. I travel a lot to Taiwan to see friends and family but do not work there, so there were minor inconveniences in not having residency. My NWOHR passport was fairly useless in Taiwan, but once I got my 身分證, I can now do things like open a bank account, get a permanent cell phone number, qualify for health insurance (after waiting 6 months), and vote in Taiwan elections. I also have a second passport to travel with if there is a country more hostile to the U.S.. Doing this will also allow any future children of mine to qualify for Taiwanese citizenship if they choose to at some point in their lives. I could also consider retiring in Taiwan or taking a gap year from work in the U.S. and still have health insurance. The total costs from start to finish ran me about $550 (excluding the costs for my trip to Taiwan).
Happy to answer any questions for folks about the process. Cheers! Hopefully my notes below are helpful.
Please note that this was written in May 2024, so things may change over time. Also, there are parts where different forms, documents, or processes may be acceptable instead of what I did, so what I outline here might not be the only possible process.
********
The first step is to get what they call a NWOHR (National Without Household Registration) passport. This part is actually not done in Taiwan at all, and are issued by what are de-facto embassies, which in the U.S. are called the Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office (TECO). There are 12 in the US and the U.S. National Office TECRO based in DC. (Other countries have a similar versions of this like the TRO in the UK).
I was told to use the TECO office closest to where you were born and/or where your parents were married. Luckily, this was the same office - the LA branch. If it happens that you were born closer to a different one than where your parents were married, call them and ask what they recommend. One reason for this is that it makes it easier to authenticate documents that the office is familiar with, which tend to be in the areas around it.
So what is authentication? This is a process that involves notarization where someone essentially authenticates your documents and verifies that they are real. For example, you bring a copy of your official birth certificate to TECO, then the TECO office will go through the process of contacting the relevant authorities where you were born to verify that this document is indeed real. Once TECO deems it authentic, they authenticate and notarize that document for you. You need to have this done for your passport application documents.
Here is what you need to submit to your local TECO for the NWOHR passport (these guidelines are from the TECO LA Office). TECO needs to first authenticate your birth certificate and parent’s marriage license. Then they use these for the NWOHR passport application. Documents cost $15 each to authenticate. The passport application for a 10-year passport is $45.
I highly advise you make an appointment with TECO. They even advise you to book two back-to-back appointments if you need both authentication and passport services done - which is what you need to do anyway. They cut off the number of walks ins per day (in LA it was 35 max walk ins).
The authentication of documents are usually done in a few weeks and your passport around 8-10 weeks. LA TECO gave me a pick up date and a receipt (save this to give them when you pick things up). If all goes well, you should have your NWOHR passport in about 2 months! If there are any issues, like inconsistent spelling of names between documents, and something is rejected, TECO will let you know and you will have to get the docs amended before your passport can be issued.
This whole process is done outside of Taiwan. Once you get your NWOHR passport, there is no time limit to complete Part 2 in Taiwan (though if your NWOHR passport expires after 10 years, you do need to renew it).
Congrats! You now have your NWOHR passport and can continue to Part 2 whenever you are ready.
(I chose to get the health check later in Taiwan since I did not know how to go about getting an acceptable health check done in the U.S. and also did not want to bother having the results translated into Chinese. Doing it in Taiwan also ensured my health check wouldn’t be rejected, delaying my application.)
FBI Background Check
For the FBI check, there are two steps here and it’s kind of confusing.
The first is initiating an FBI background check for yourself through the online request form on the FBI site and getting a secure link and pin. (FBI emails this to you). Get your fingerprints done at a verified USPS, it's super quick and easy. Once your background check is complete and you get your electronic results, you forward that email with the PDF directly to TECRO. The website is not super clear so I emailed them for clarification and they wrote back to me more detailed instructions after I had received the completed PDF of my background check. What they said in their email:
***
For authentication of electronic FBI Report, there are 2 steps:
Step 1:
Please forward the digital FBI Report (.pdf format) and the email of pin number (under FBI email account) to our consular email at [consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw](mailto:consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw) directly.
Step 2:
Meanwhile, please prepare and mail the relevant documents listed below to our office for further proceeding:
* fill out the application form for authentication as attached
* a copy of the applicant's passport (including Taiwan passport if have)
* print out the FBI Report and the email of pin number for crossing reference
** For overseas Applicants:
* a US bank draft (美金匯票) $15 in Taiwan local banks with payable to TECRO
* a prepaid shipping label from FedEx or USL or DHL (for mailing the authenticated document back to you)
** For domestic Applicants:
* authentication fee: USD 15 (either money order or casher's check with payable to TECRO)
* a stamped self-addressed return envelope (to mail the authenticated documents back to you)
Also, please allow additional time for mail delivery. Thanks
***
In about 4 weeks or so, TECRO will mail you back a physical copy of your TECRO authenticated FBI background check using the self-addressed stamped envelope you sent them. Now that you have your FBI background check, you have one year to get your citizenship done in Taiwan before it expires.
Chinese Translation and Authentication/Notarization of your documents:
For this next part of the process, you need to get all your docs that were submitted for your NWOHR passport and the FBI background check translated and authenticated into Chinese. People on the internet mention that you can do this yourself. I recommend hiring professionals here who know what they are doing and also do the notarizing since you don’t want the translation of your documents to be rejected by immigration, wasting time and money. The docs also need to be formatted in a certain way. Given this, I went with a place in Taipei that charged about 6200 NT (~$200 US) for doing all my docs (background check, birth certificate, and parents marriage license, with notary). I used: 口藝國際有限公司(翻譯/公證代辦) and they took a little over a week to get these translated and notarized for me. (TECO actually told me to save money and do the translation in Taiwan, since places in the LA area were quoted as more, maybe in the $300-400 range, but if others have found cheaper US or Taiwan options please let us know who you used and how much they charged).
Plan a 2-3 week vacation in Taiwan (possibly with your parent(s) whose household registration you will be joining). 2 weeks if your health check is done already and all your docs are translated and notarized, 3 weeks if you need to do a health check in Taiwan. Less than a week might be possible but unclear if anyone has successfully done the 3-day exchange version mentioned here.
Enter Taiwan with your NWOHR passport on the Taiwan resident/citizen side and make sure to get your NWOHR passport physically stamped with your entry date.
Health Check in Taiwan
For my health check, I went to MacKay Memorial Hospital, 16th floor (No.92, Sec.2, Zhongshan N. Rd., Zhongshan Dist., Taipei City). I called all the Taipei hospitals on this approved list of health check hospitals, and MacKay was the shortest guaranteed turnaround at 7 days. Walk-ins only, no appointments, - 8am-11am, 1:30-4pm M-F, and Saturday but only in the morning. Exam fee was 2050 NT, an additional 750 NT if you need a booster shot. The turnaround was 1 week and there was no way to speed this up. Bring passport, face mask (maybe not required now), and money. You can use your U.S. passport for the application and might actually be easier as they don't need stool samples for U.S. applicants. They draw some blood and take a chest x-ray.
After getting all your documents translated and authenticated, the health check, and entering Taiwan on your NWOHR passport, you can begin the 3-step process of getting your full citizenship and new NWHR passport in this order:
For your 定居證 (permanent residency certificate), go to a National Immigration Agency office in Taiwan with all the necessary documents that have been authenticated and translated. (I used the one in Taipei on 15 Guangzhou Rd). Once you start this part, you cannot leave Taiwan until you get your new passport, and when you next leave Taiwan, you must do so on your new NWHR passport. In your application, you need to show that you have the ability to establish household residency (easier to do if joining your parents), along with the original and one set of copies of all of your translated/notarized documents and yours and your parents' Taiwan passports. They will also ask for a photocopy of the dated entry stamp in your NWOHR passport. You will also need pictures, and the basement of the Immigration Agency has a booth where you can get 6 photos for 120 NT. Those 6 pictures should be enough for the rest of the process - just keep them with you for each step.
The permanent residency certificate process takes 7 working days, so essentially 10 days. This is the longest part. If someone has successfully done the shorter 3 day exchange, please let us know how you did this, since it would likely help out a lot of people given that this was the longest part necessary in Taiwan.
2) 戶口名簿 (Household Registration) and 身分證 (National ID)
In 10 days, once you get your 定居證 permanent residency certificate, to get your household registration you must go to the household registration office in the district you plan to register in. The easiest is to have a parent add you to theirs, but their household registration has to be current and not expired for you to be able to do this, and best updated within the past 3 months (what TECO told us). If you can’t do this, then you need to register a household yourself using a lease/other steps that you should look up how to do.
At the household registration office, you give them the 定居證 (permanent residency certificate) and other documents they need to establish your residency (parent’s household info or lease etc). Don't forget your picture. Then you get your 戶口名簿 (household registration). Also remember to get a copy of your 戶籍謄本（transcript of household registration) since you will need it in 6 months to apply for health care if you plan to do that.
Right after this, they will print out your 身分證 (National ID). You get your household registration and 身分證 the same day at the same place (took me about 1-2 hours).
At this point, you are actually considered a citizen of Taiwan. However, when you choose to leave Taiwan, you must get a NWHR Passport and leave on that passport.
3) Getting your NWHR Passport
You now need to go to BOCA to apply for the new passport. I did my household registration and national ID in the late morning, so I still had time to go to BOCA before they closed at 5pm.
Their Taipei office is near the Shandao MRT stop. Bring your national ID, NWOHR passport, 2 pictures, and cash for payment. Normally for a passport there is a 10-day turnaround at 1300 NTD. Expedited next business day service is available for an additional 900 NTD. So I paid 2200 NTD for my passport since I needed mine the next day as my trip to Taiwan was planned for exactly 3 weeks and by now, I had only 2 days left in Taiwan.
Pick up your passport the next day (and they give you your previous NWOHR passport back with the corner clipped off)! Don’t forget, when you eventually leave Taiwan, you must leave Taiwan with your new NWHR Taiwan passport but there is no deadline to leave (and I got mine stamped in case that was required, but not sure if it was or not).
CONGRATS on finishing the entire process, getting full Taiwan Citizenship/Household Residency with your National ID, and your new NWHR passport to allow you to leave Taiwan!
Health Insurance: 6 months after doing this you can qualify for NHI (and is technically mandatory). To apply, go to any district office and bring your 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), National ID, and a chop stamp. (Yeah, they still use those lol). I found a chop stamp place near my household registration office that did a wood stamp for 100 NTD, and had them do multiple in case I lost one, since any duplicates have to be done at the same time for them to match. Someone else can even apply for you if you are not in Taiwan as long as they have a copy of your ID, 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), and chop stamp.
If all your income is outside of Taiwan, health insurance payments should be about $25 a month. If you pay monthly, you qualify for full health benefits in Taiwan. You can also suspend your payments if you plan to leave Taiwan for more than 6 months and do not plan on using their health care system. You can also keep coverage and continue to pay into the system even when gone for long periods of time. However, don't forget that your household registration will be suspended if you are gone from Taiwan for more than 2 years, and while you can easily renew it when you come back, this will pause your health coverage.
Total Cost for Taiwan Citizenship
The total cost, was about US $75-100 for the NWOHR passport, depending on if you have to get new copies of your original birth/parental records. The cost for the Part 2 were roughly: FBI check ($32), U.S.P.S. fingerprinting ($50), Health Check ($85, mine was more than the usual $63 because I needed a booster shot for one of my MMR vaccinations), Translations and notarizations ($200), residency permit (~$30), National ID ($5), expedited passport next day ($68). So my out of pocket costs for the residency conversion in Taiwan was roughly $465 or so.
So the entire citizenship process from start to finish was about $550 USD.
You only have to do this once, and now you are a full citizen with all the rights to live and work in Taiwan and can vote! I would have never been able to do this without the new rule change, so really thankful that the process is so much easier now.
Let me know if there are any questions!
(Edits for clarification.)
submitted by Ok-Calm-Narwhal to taiwan [link] [comments]
Prior to this year, in order for someone with a NWOHR passport to qualify as a full citizen, they had to first live in Taiwan for 366 days in a row without leaving the country (there were some other options that allowed you to leave for short times involving 2 and 5 years, but also quite impossible for most, unless you were in Covid lockdown or found a job in Taiwan.)
But earlier this year, Taiwan’s government removed this requirement for NWOHR passport holders who had at least one parent with household registration at the time of their birth. Hence, to get your own household residency and full citizenship, you no longer have to live in Taiwan for a year without leaving. You can just go to Taiwan, spend a few weeks there and complete the application process to obtain residency and a National ID, and become a full citizen of Taiwan. Taiwan will also allow you to keep your other citizenship (as long as they allow dual citizenship with Taiwan, which the U.S. does).
I kept really detailed notes and will post below some tips from my experience. The most important one is that what was formerly known as the TARC is now folded into the 定居證 (permanent resident certificate). So you just skip having to live in Taiwan for a year but provide almost the exact same documents as the old TARC for your 定居證.
There is a process listed here which says that you can start the permanent residency certificate from outside Taiwan to shorten your time in Taiwan by just exchanging your permit in 3 days. However, when I spoke to people at TECO a few months ago, and then more recently immigration in Taipei, they said I had to start the process in Taiwan. A friend’s parents in Taiwan also called immigration the other day and they told them the same thing. So not sure how one would go about the shortened process that is in on their website. But if anyone has successfully done the shortened process themselves, please post and let us know how you were able to get it done since it would cut the process by 1.5 weeks and help out a lot of folks who can’t spend 2-3 weeks in Taiwan.
This older post in this sub covers military conscription and also has many previous links about what to do if you are male and 18-36 written by FewSandwich6. (This was not applicable for me).
This very helpful post here contains a list of definitions for commonly used terms in Chinese and English that are often used in this process, written by HongKonger85. There is also an image of a 定居證 (Permanent Residency Certificate) after immigration has issued it to you, and this is what you need to swap for household registration (covered in Part 2 below).
My detailed notes for folks are as follows. Part 1 based on my experience getting my NWOHR passport, and Part 2 getting residency, my National ID, and full citizenship in Taiwan. Some info repeats what has already been mentioned in previous threads, with the difference being the new 2024 rule change. There are probably other ways to get this process done, but just sharing my own recent experience to help others looking to do this now.
In all, I am so glad I did this. I travel a lot to Taiwan to see friends and family but do not work there, so there were minor inconveniences in not having residency. My NWOHR passport was fairly useless in Taiwan, but once I got my 身分證, I can now do things like open a bank account, get a permanent cell phone number, qualify for health insurance (after waiting 6 months), and vote in Taiwan elections. I also have a second passport to travel with if there is a country more hostile to the U.S.. Doing this will also allow any future children of mine to qualify for Taiwanese citizenship if they choose to at some point in their lives. I could also consider retiring in Taiwan or taking a gap year from work in the U.S. and still have health insurance. The total costs from start to finish ran me about $550 (excluding the costs for my trip to Taiwan).
Happy to answer any questions for folks about the process. Cheers! Hopefully my notes below are helpful.
Please note that this was written in May 2024, so things may change over time. Also, there are parts where different forms, documents, or processes may be acceptable instead of what I did, so what I outline here might not be the only possible process.
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Part 1. Getting the NWOHR Passport:
If you do not have any Taiwanese passport start here. If you already have the NWOHR passport then skip to Part 2 (converting the passport to residency under the new 2024 laws).The first step is to get what they call a NWOHR (National Without Household Registration) passport. This part is actually not done in Taiwan at all, and are issued by what are de-facto embassies, which in the U.S. are called the Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office (TECO). There are 12 in the US and the U.S. National Office TECRO based in DC. (Other countries have a similar versions of this like the TRO in the UK).
I was told to use the TECO office closest to where you were born and/or where your parents were married. Luckily, this was the same office - the LA branch. If it happens that you were born closer to a different one than where your parents were married, call them and ask what they recommend. One reason for this is that it makes it easier to authenticate documents that the office is familiar with, which tend to be in the areas around it.
So what is authentication? This is a process that involves notarization where someone essentially authenticates your documents and verifies that they are real. For example, you bring a copy of your official birth certificate to TECO, then the TECO office will go through the process of contacting the relevant authorities where you were born to verify that this document is indeed real. Once TECO deems it authentic, they authenticate and notarize that document for you. You need to have this done for your passport application documents.
Here is what you need to submit to your local TECO for the NWOHR passport (these guidelines are from the TECO LA Office). TECO needs to first authenticate your birth certificate and parent’s marriage license. Then they use these for the NWOHR passport application. Documents cost $15 each to authenticate. The passport application for a 10-year passport is $45.
I highly advise you make an appointment with TECO. They even advise you to book two back-to-back appointments if you need both authentication and passport services done - which is what you need to do anyway. They cut off the number of walks ins per day (in LA it was 35 max walk ins).
The authentication of documents are usually done in a few weeks and your passport around 8-10 weeks. LA TECO gave me a pick up date and a receipt (save this to give them when you pick things up). If all goes well, you should have your NWOHR passport in about 2 months! If there are any issues, like inconsistent spelling of names between documents, and something is rejected, TECO will let you know and you will have to get the docs amended before your passport can be issued.
This whole process is done outside of Taiwan. Once you get your NWOHR passport, there is no time limit to complete Part 2 in Taiwan (though if your NWOHR passport expires after 10 years, you do need to renew it).
Congrats! You now have your NWOHR passport and can continue to Part 2 whenever you are ready.
Part 2. Getting household registration, your National ID with full citizenship rights, and converting your NWOHR Passport to a NWHR Passport to finish the process.
There are now two more things you need. A health check and an FBI background check (or other relevant agency of your country; apologies that this is U.S. focused). You will also need to figure out your household registration in Taiwan (more on that later). The FBI background check took about 4-6 weeks to get, and you need to have this authenticated and notarized by TECRO. This was done outside of Taiwan while I was still in the U.S. The FBI check result is valid for one year, while the health check is only valid for 3 months, so plan accordingly.(I chose to get the health check later in Taiwan since I did not know how to go about getting an acceptable health check done in the U.S. and also did not want to bother having the results translated into Chinese. Doing it in Taiwan also ensured my health check wouldn’t be rejected, delaying my application.)
FBI Background Check
For the FBI check, there are two steps here and it’s kind of confusing.
The first is initiating an FBI background check for yourself through the online request form on the FBI site and getting a secure link and pin. (FBI emails this to you). Get your fingerprints done at a verified USPS, it's super quick and easy. Once your background check is complete and you get your electronic results, you forward that email with the PDF directly to TECRO. The website is not super clear so I emailed them for clarification and they wrote back to me more detailed instructions after I had received the completed PDF of my background check. What they said in their email:
***
For authentication of electronic FBI Report, there are 2 steps:
Step 1:
Please forward the digital FBI Report (.pdf format) and the email of pin number (under FBI email account) to our consular email at [consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw](mailto:consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw) directly.
Step 2:
Meanwhile, please prepare and mail the relevant documents listed below to our office for further proceeding:
* fill out the application form for authentication as attached
* a copy of the applicant's passport (including Taiwan passport if have)
* print out the FBI Report and the email of pin number for crossing reference
** For overseas Applicants:
* a US bank draft (美金匯票) $15 in Taiwan local banks with payable to TECRO
* a prepaid shipping label from FedEx or USL or DHL (for mailing the authenticated document back to you)
** For domestic Applicants:
* authentication fee: USD 15 (either money order or casher's check with payable to TECRO)
* a stamped self-addressed return envelope (to mail the authenticated documents back to you)
Also, please allow additional time for mail delivery. Thanks
***
In about 4 weeks or so, TECRO will mail you back a physical copy of your TECRO authenticated FBI background check using the self-addressed stamped envelope you sent them. Now that you have your FBI background check, you have one year to get your citizenship done in Taiwan before it expires.
Chinese Translation and Authentication/Notarization of your documents:
For this next part of the process, you need to get all your docs that were submitted for your NWOHR passport and the FBI background check translated and authenticated into Chinese. People on the internet mention that you can do this yourself. I recommend hiring professionals here who know what they are doing and also do the notarizing since you don’t want the translation of your documents to be rejected by immigration, wasting time and money. The docs also need to be formatted in a certain way. Given this, I went with a place in Taipei that charged about 6200 NT (~$200 US) for doing all my docs (background check, birth certificate, and parents marriage license, with notary). I used: 口藝國際有限公司(翻譯/公證代辦) and they took a little over a week to get these translated and notarized for me. (TECO actually told me to save money and do the translation in Taiwan, since places in the LA area were quoted as more, maybe in the $300-400 range, but if others have found cheaper US or Taiwan options please let us know who you used and how much they charged).
Plan a 2-3 week vacation in Taiwan (possibly with your parent(s) whose household registration you will be joining). 2 weeks if your health check is done already and all your docs are translated and notarized, 3 weeks if you need to do a health check in Taiwan. Less than a week might be possible but unclear if anyone has successfully done the 3-day exchange version mentioned here.
Enter Taiwan with your NWOHR passport on the Taiwan resident/citizen side and make sure to get your NWOHR passport physically stamped with your entry date.
Health Check in Taiwan
For my health check, I went to MacKay Memorial Hospital, 16th floor (No.92, Sec.2, Zhongshan N. Rd., Zhongshan Dist., Taipei City). I called all the Taipei hospitals on this approved list of health check hospitals, and MacKay was the shortest guaranteed turnaround at 7 days. Walk-ins only, no appointments, - 8am-11am, 1:30-4pm M-F, and Saturday but only in the morning. Exam fee was 2050 NT, an additional 750 NT if you need a booster shot. The turnaround was 1 week and there was no way to speed this up. Bring passport, face mask (maybe not required now), and money. You can use your U.S. passport for the application and might actually be easier as they don't need stool samples for U.S. applicants. They draw some blood and take a chest x-ray.
After getting all your documents translated and authenticated, the health check, and entering Taiwan on your NWOHR passport, you can begin the 3-step process of getting your full citizenship and new NWHR passport in this order:
- 定居證 (permanent residency certificate) ->
- 戶口名簿 (household registration) and 身分證 (National ID) ->
- New NWHR Passport (and leaving Taiwan on it).
For your 定居證 (permanent residency certificate), go to a National Immigration Agency office in Taiwan with all the necessary documents that have been authenticated and translated. (I used the one in Taipei on 15 Guangzhou Rd). Once you start this part, you cannot leave Taiwan until you get your new passport, and when you next leave Taiwan, you must do so on your new NWHR passport. In your application, you need to show that you have the ability to establish household residency (easier to do if joining your parents), along with the original and one set of copies of all of your translated/notarized documents and yours and your parents' Taiwan passports. They will also ask for a photocopy of the dated entry stamp in your NWOHR passport. You will also need pictures, and the basement of the Immigration Agency has a booth where you can get 6 photos for 120 NT. Those 6 pictures should be enough for the rest of the process - just keep them with you for each step.
The permanent residency certificate process takes 7 working days, so essentially 10 days. This is the longest part. If someone has successfully done the shorter 3 day exchange, please let us know how you did this, since it would likely help out a lot of people given that this was the longest part necessary in Taiwan.
2) 戶口名簿 (Household Registration) and 身分證 (National ID)
In 10 days, once you get your 定居證 permanent residency certificate, to get your household registration you must go to the household registration office in the district you plan to register in. The easiest is to have a parent add you to theirs, but their household registration has to be current and not expired for you to be able to do this, and best updated within the past 3 months (what TECO told us). If you can’t do this, then you need to register a household yourself using a lease/other steps that you should look up how to do.
At the household registration office, you give them the 定居證 (permanent residency certificate) and other documents they need to establish your residency (parent’s household info or lease etc). Don't forget your picture. Then you get your 戶口名簿 (household registration). Also remember to get a copy of your 戶籍謄本（transcript of household registration) since you will need it in 6 months to apply for health care if you plan to do that.
Right after this, they will print out your 身分證 (National ID). You get your household registration and 身分證 the same day at the same place (took me about 1-2 hours).
At this point, you are actually considered a citizen of Taiwan. However, when you choose to leave Taiwan, you must get a NWHR Passport and leave on that passport.
3) Getting your NWHR Passport
You now need to go to BOCA to apply for the new passport. I did my household registration and national ID in the late morning, so I still had time to go to BOCA before they closed at 5pm.
Their Taipei office is near the Shandao MRT stop. Bring your national ID, NWOHR passport, 2 pictures, and cash for payment. Normally for a passport there is a 10-day turnaround at 1300 NTD. Expedited next business day service is available for an additional 900 NTD. So I paid 2200 NTD for my passport since I needed mine the next day as my trip to Taiwan was planned for exactly 3 weeks and by now, I had only 2 days left in Taiwan.
Pick up your passport the next day (and they give you your previous NWOHR passport back with the corner clipped off)! Don’t forget, when you eventually leave Taiwan, you must leave Taiwan with your new NWHR Taiwan passport but there is no deadline to leave (and I got mine stamped in case that was required, but not sure if it was or not).
CONGRATS on finishing the entire process, getting full Taiwan Citizenship/Household Residency with your National ID, and your new NWHR passport to allow you to leave Taiwan!
Health Insurance: 6 months after doing this you can qualify for NHI (and is technically mandatory). To apply, go to any district office and bring your 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), National ID, and a chop stamp. (Yeah, they still use those lol). I found a chop stamp place near my household registration office that did a wood stamp for 100 NTD, and had them do multiple in case I lost one, since any duplicates have to be done at the same time for them to match. Someone else can even apply for you if you are not in Taiwan as long as they have a copy of your ID, 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), and chop stamp.
If all your income is outside of Taiwan, health insurance payments should be about $25 a month. If you pay monthly, you qualify for full health benefits in Taiwan. You can also suspend your payments if you plan to leave Taiwan for more than 6 months and do not plan on using their health care system. You can also keep coverage and continue to pay into the system even when gone for long periods of time. However, don't forget that your household registration will be suspended if you are gone from Taiwan for more than 2 years, and while you can easily renew it when you come back, this will pause your health coverage.
Total Cost for Taiwan Citizenship
The total cost, was about US $75-100 for the NWOHR passport, depending on if you have to get new copies of your original birth/parental records. The cost for the Part 2 were roughly: FBI check ($32), U.S.P.S. fingerprinting ($50), Health Check ($85, mine was more than the usual $63 because I needed a booster shot for one of my MMR vaccinations), Translations and notarizations ($200), residency permit (~$30), National ID ($5), expedited passport next day ($68). So my out of pocket costs for the residency conversion in Taiwan was roughly $465 or so.
So the entire citizenship process from start to finish was about $550 USD.
You only have to do this once, and now you are a full citizen with all the rights to live and work in Taiwan and can vote! I would have never been able to do this without the new rule change, so really thankful that the process is so much easier now.
Let me know if there are any questions!
(Edits for clarification.)
2024.05.13 04:30 chronologie (Long) Review: Daria at Provence ft. shady behavior
 | So, this was my first moissanite, first custom order and first time dealing with Chinese vendors. I’m a very cautious person and did a lot of browsing and learning here before I felt comfortable moving forward. Working professionally with my own clients, I went into this being very communicative and patient, willing to wait for clarification and satisfactory work, and giving them the benefit of the doubt. submitted by chronologie to Moissanite [link] [comments] What I asked for: 8x10 OMC moissy with bar culet, ultra low profile ring, in 14k yellow gold with white gold compass set prongs, size 7 US Timeline: 3/13: reached out to Daria with specs, info photos, got a quote from her for $446 plus shipping 3/15: I confirmed I wanted to move forward 3/17: I asked for next steps, Daria drafted the order and I paid immediately. She said she would arrange for the CAD that day 3/20: I followed up on CAD 3/21: I followed up on CAD again. She said CAD designer was still working on it and she (Daria) had been out sick 3/22: Daria sent CAD 3/23: I sent back some feedback that I wanted a lower setting and sent some examples (multiple angles of a plunge setting). She sent back an example that looked exactly the same as the initial CAD so I re-sent the examples and asked if this was possible. She said they would update the CAD 3/28: Daria sent CAD v2.0, but it did not have the compass set prongs from the initial brief or the plunge setting change I asked for 4/1: Daria sent CAD v3.0 and I approved. I asked if I would be able to see 2 stones and choose the stone myself 4/2: Daria said the stone would be custom cut but promised photo video when done. I asked for approximate timeline of when the ring may be finished and she said “next week” 4/9: I sent follow up on stone 4/10: Daria sent 1 video and 1 photo of the stone. I later learned that she sent at least 1 other redditor the same exact stone check photo Photo was nice but I wasn’t convinced by the video, so I asked if she would send an additional photo or video in natural night, she told me it was too rainy lately, I said I would be patient 4/12: Daria sent new video and I approved 4/14: Daria said production would be done “next week” 4/22: I followed up, she said the ring will “probably be done tomorrow” 4/24: Daria sent PSP, PSV - in my time zone this was 11:58pm and I was asleep so didn’t see the message 4/25: (12 hours after sending the PSP/PSV) She said “I’ll mail it to you today”) - I had not approved the ring at this point so when I finally got on WhatsApp I was freaking out. I was not impressed by the PSP/PSV and again asked for better lighting 4/26: Daria sent PSP/PSV v2.0 and I was satisfied with them so I gave the good to go. She said “hopefully you can make a post on Reddit and I can give you discount on your next order” and she would update me on the tracking later [that] day” 5/1: She finally sends the tracking number. Again says that she would give me a discount if I make a nice review on Reddit. A day or 2 after this, I notice another redditor’s post showing the same PSP Daria had sent me. I planned to confront her after receiving the package, since the trust was broken I was concerned there could be retaliation of some kind 5/4: FedEx picks up the package 5/10: Package arrived on my doorstep in California. Now I hear that Daria has left Provence so I’m not sure where I can take my feedback? Overall experience: 6/10. I was prepared for this to take longer than quoted as almost all projects do, but I did feel this dragged out a bit and if I didn’t follow up frequently it would have taken even longer. If that was my only complaint, I would say 9/10 — but the PSP issue was very unprofessional and made me question how honest she was the past almost 2 months Product satisfaction: 9/10. I’m very happy with my ring. Personally, I learned that I don’t love the color of the stone (I’m assuming DEF, I didn’t think to specify this and was not asked during the process). Next time I will know to go warmer Would I work with Daria again? Absolutely not, but ultimately I am satisfied with my jewelry so that’s something I’m thankful for How can I redeem my discount? ;) |
2024.05.13 02:11 Throwaway552525 AITA My M(39) girlfriend F(39) got mad at me after her ex picked her up from a work function?
I want to make sure I get all this as accurate as possible and fill in context as much as I can. I need to know if I'm being an AH here for getting pissed that my GF called her ex to pick her up from a work function on Friday. So I knew about this work function Friday, and I had figured she would have a few drinks. This is usually the case, as they get together about once a month and she will have a few drinks and need a ride home. I don't have any issues with this. This has never been a problem. However this last Friday, it was almost 10pm and she text me "Hey" and then called me and didn't leave a message. I was in the shower getting myself ready for bed, (We don't live together) anyway, I get out of the shower and go check my phone. It had been 12 mins since she had called. So I called her back, and she answers and tells me don't worry about the call she needed a ride home and since I didn't answer she called her Ex and he is coming to pick her up. This is where I got upset.
For some backstory, this guy has been nothing but problems. He has gas lighted the F out of her in the past, caused a ton of problems with their kid, yes (They have a 14 y/o together) he doesn't pay any child support and the kid lives with her full time. The kid has had some problems with drugs as well, and we found out that he had purchased drugs for the kid and she (GF) never did anything about it just let it slide. She is always making excuses for his behavior and this has continued for the entire 2 years we were together.
Back to the phone call, I told her I am close to where she is now. Just call him back and tell him I will pick her up. She proceeds to tell me no, that I should have answered and that she already told him he could pick her up. I'm going to try and quote myself here "Are you being serious right now? You're telling me you in a span of 10 mins you couldn't get ahold of me you called Ex and now you're unwilling to tell him never mind? You ended up getting a ride? This whole thing doesn't make me feel good, and I really wish you would have just waited a few mins, I was in the shower and called you back as soon as I got out." She said to me "It's no big deal I'm not fucking him he is just dropping me off at the house, you should have answered when I called" Needless too say she took the ride with him. I tried to let it go and told her on Saturday that it was no big deal I'm sorry I missed the call and just wished you would have waited a few mins before you called on your Ex for something. I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't really over it, I just didn't want to argue and continue to perpetuate the problem.
However today, I went by her place for breakfast and after we finished eating I could tell something was bothering her, so I just ask. Ok, tell me what's bothering you. We ended up fighting about the whole thing, and she kept telling me I was being an asshole because I didn't want her to get a ride from her Ex. Well, now I'm single. AITA here?
submitted by Throwaway552525 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
For some backstory, this guy has been nothing but problems. He has gas lighted the F out of her in the past, caused a ton of problems with their kid, yes (They have a 14 y/o together) he doesn't pay any child support and the kid lives with her full time. The kid has had some problems with drugs as well, and we found out that he had purchased drugs for the kid and she (GF) never did anything about it just let it slide. She is always making excuses for his behavior and this has continued for the entire 2 years we were together.
Back to the phone call, I told her I am close to where she is now. Just call him back and tell him I will pick her up. She proceeds to tell me no, that I should have answered and that she already told him he could pick her up. I'm going to try and quote myself here "Are you being serious right now? You're telling me you in a span of 10 mins you couldn't get ahold of me you called Ex and now you're unwilling to tell him never mind? You ended up getting a ride? This whole thing doesn't make me feel good, and I really wish you would have just waited a few mins, I was in the shower and called you back as soon as I got out." She said to me "It's no big deal I'm not fucking him he is just dropping me off at the house, you should have answered when I called" Needless too say she took the ride with him. I tried to let it go and told her on Saturday that it was no big deal I'm sorry I missed the call and just wished you would have waited a few mins before you called on your Ex for something. I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't really over it, I just didn't want to argue and continue to perpetuate the problem.
However today, I went by her place for breakfast and after we finished eating I could tell something was bothering her, so I just ask. Ok, tell me what's bothering you. We ended up fighting about the whole thing, and she kept telling me I was being an asshole because I didn't want her to get a ride from her Ex. Well, now I'm single. AITA here?
2024.05.12 20:17 jaydalogar Spoke to my first gf 10 years after we broke up, what should I do? 32M 31F
I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.
submitted by jaydalogar to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.
2024.05.12 19:55 Unlikely_Broccoli530 Buying a Miata?
Hi Everyone,
This is my first time posting so don't go too hard on me. I am interested in buying a Miata (ND3) - new, and I am located in Canada. I am just not sure if it's right for me, however, and any opinions from any of you is greatly appreciated!! As a kid fascinated by small roadsters growing up, the Miata has always held a special place in my heart, and now that I am 23(M), I can possibly make that dream of owning one come true.
A bit of background - I currently own a 2023 Honda Civic (EX) with approximately $9000 CAD still on the loan. It's a great car, and it's zippy and well-built in its own right, but I want something that's considered more of an enthusiast car (ahem Miata). The Miata that I would be interested in is the 2024 one; base model, manual transmission, and black on black (GS, or in the USA, Sport). I know there's already people probably asking "why don't you buy a used Miata?" Fair point, but in Canada, at the moment, there is $1,500 off the MSRP, plus $1,000 off (after taxes, fees) if you recently graduated from college/university, plus $600 off (after taxes, fees) if someone in your household is current/retired military; I fulfill those two incentive conditions as a recent college graduate and my partner is in the military. All in all, that's ~$3,100 off the new Miata, which currently retails for $34,900 CAD (approximately $25,515 USD). Monthly payments are another draw too, with Mazda Canada offering 1.9% interest - quite low all things considered.
To compare, my Honda Civic payments are $420.38/month @ 36 months (307.33 USD, 5.29% APR); I am one year into the financing period. The Miata was quoted at $575/month @ 36 months ($420.37 USD, 1.9% APR). The jump in payment I can stomach, but there's also the responsible part of me that says I should not make the switch. This Miata is also going to be my daily, so I will be driving it in snow (I will definitely spend the money to rust-protect it) and using it for school (I am a masters student now). I also drive a lot - not because I commute, but because I just love driving, so in the year I've had my Civic I've nearly put 32,000 km on it (~20,000 miles). Also last point, yes I would be trading in the Civic.
Sorry for all of the rambling, but TL:DR - should I make an ND Miata my daily driver? Thank you for your time and input, I appreciate each and every one of you!!
P.S. I also attached an image of what the spec'd Miata would look like.
submitted by Unlikely_Broccoli530 to MiataND [link] [comments]
This is my first time posting so don't go too hard on me. I am interested in buying a Miata (ND3) - new, and I am located in Canada. I am just not sure if it's right for me, however, and any opinions from any of you is greatly appreciated!! As a kid fascinated by small roadsters growing up, the Miata has always held a special place in my heart, and now that I am 23(M), I can possibly make that dream of owning one come true.
A bit of background - I currently own a 2023 Honda Civic (EX) with approximately $9000 CAD still on the loan. It's a great car, and it's zippy and well-built in its own right, but I want something that's considered more of an enthusiast car (ahem Miata). The Miata that I would be interested in is the 2024 one; base model, manual transmission, and black on black (GS, or in the USA, Sport). I know there's already people probably asking "why don't you buy a used Miata?" Fair point, but in Canada, at the moment, there is $1,500 off the MSRP, plus $1,000 off (after taxes, fees) if you recently graduated from college/university, plus $600 off (after taxes, fees) if someone in your household is current/retired military; I fulfill those two incentive conditions as a recent college graduate and my partner is in the military. All in all, that's ~$3,100 off the new Miata, which currently retails for $34,900 CAD (approximately $25,515 USD). Monthly payments are another draw too, with Mazda Canada offering 1.9% interest - quite low all things considered.
To compare, my Honda Civic payments are $420.38/month @ 36 months (307.33 USD, 5.29% APR); I am one year into the financing period. The Miata was quoted at $575/month @ 36 months ($420.37 USD, 1.9% APR). The jump in payment I can stomach, but there's also the responsible part of me that says I should not make the switch. This Miata is also going to be my daily, so I will be driving it in snow (I will definitely spend the money to rust-protect it) and using it for school (I am a masters student now). I also drive a lot - not because I commute, but because I just love driving, so in the year I've had my Civic I've nearly put 32,000 km on it (~20,000 miles). Also last point, yes I would be trading in the Civic.
Sorry for all of the rambling, but TL:DR - should I make an ND Miata my daily driver? Thank you for your time and input, I appreciate each and every one of you!!
P.S. I also attached an image of what the spec'd Miata would look like.