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Book One: Edge of Madness - Chapter One Previous Next
I could pretend to be a whore. That's what Masutap thought as she stood before the gate leading to the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Pretense was a thing she indulged in back when she'd been an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions. But as of now, things had changed. Things had changed drastically, for she was now a champion of the Goddess of Order. A champion who would do anything in her power to mock the very being that fed her power.
Power, yes. It was what she felt. Every time her eyes turned upon the world, she saw Order. Like bees in a hive, working towards a similar objective. Survival. Yes, they all wanted to survive. And that's where the power lay, in her ability to deny a thing's chance at survival, for when her eyes flashed red, things died.
"Pardon me sir." A man dragging a cart of coal said. She was standing in his way, she knew this of course, she'd known it since the time he'd decided to deliver the coal. She saw the strings of prophesy in the smallest of things, and oh what power lied in discernment, to see the past and the future in absolute clarity, the secret lay in following strands of Order. The Highlord of the Eastlocal always received a cart of coal at around this time every fifth day. He would serve as her witness. Coal. She smiled, remembering how Orgeeg had managed to penetrate into the Palace of Binoria, on a stack of coal. She recalled how Orgeeg thwarted her plans, then she remembered how small her plans had been.
"Pardon me... Uh lady?" She removed her cowl as the Coal merchant spoke. Her hair was longer now, she'd let it grow, it dangled askew of her ears. Dark and rich as her mother's once was. Masutap smiled at the man whose face was caked in coal dust.
"Today Shama dies! Tonight the Highlord of the EastLocal is no more!" Masutap said.
Twin daggers she had strapped to her waist were suddenly in her hands. The coal merchant stumbled back several steps, dragging the cart with him. The sun was dipping into the horizon, becoming a smeared red smudge upon the canvas of her perception. Her eyes flashed red, and the smeared smudge's light brightened, blanketing everything, making her see.
She spun and threw the dagger in her left hand. The knife whirled in the air and met the throat of a guard who was just cresting the upper walkway of the gate, he wore red leather that marked him as one of the royal guards of the Highlord. A shout sounded. The guards at the gate turned their attention to her. They were six of them, each of them dazed with the slow reception of understanding. The bubble they lived in, understanding it enabled her to see how blind humanity is. Like sheep, no wonder the Vigons ruled them so easily.
She was in their midst before they drew their swords from their scabbards. She drove the dagger into the throat of the first one, danced in a pirouette, thrust free the dagger and hurled it into the throat of another guard. Her hands were free, she curled her fingers into fists.
The Goddess Meena, Goddess of Order, spoke to her. **What is the purpose of this?*
"Oh, you'll see." Masutap said and drove a fist into the chest of one guard, her hand caved through the chest cavity, snapping the spine in half and emerging free of the Guards back. She paused for effect, the three remaining guards gawked at her. She pried her arm free of the corpse and met their panicked gazes. "Sound the alarm, you're too few to make me sweat. I need all of you. Gods! Come on you fucking cowards!"
Two of the three guards charged her, one took a swing at her head with a flat blade, the sharp edge missed her by a hair's breadth as she ducked. She brought up her knee and connected with the man's groin, raising him off the ground, legs held apart, face contorted in pain. He collapsed on the ground with a squeal akin to that of a dying rabbit. The other guard put on a stance of Grind, legs parted, right foot before the left. Knees bent. He brandished his sword before him, and the guard behind him ran off to sound the alarm. Masutap smiled.
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He slept on a bed filled with whores. Talisi women with their dark skin and white hair, Remu women with their sandy peppered hair and copper skin, Binorian women with their blonde hair and pale milky skin. He was their God and they flocked to him in worship. He owned all of them, from the frailest to the most able bodied. From the smartest to the daftest. They were all his.
The Highlord of the Eastlocal observed the head of the Talisi woman resting on his thigh, her breathing was deep, her dark naked breasts rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Five other women slept around him, each as beautiful as the last.
Of all the men in the realm, I alone am the honored one. Shama thought. He caressed his bulging belly with his pudgy fingers the size of sausages. His appearance did pass as grotesque. Bloated, balding with a cleanly shaven head, wide of girth and bow legged. Yet, no man has conquered the bodies of women as he had done. Women who lusted after tall handsome men. Women who sought capable men with astounding intelligence. They all gave in to him, none could deny him and when they did, well, there were ways to make them yield.
An orgy at noon. That was the gist of it, and another orgy before the midnight bell. Life was good, life was beautiful. Shama had thought that after the death of King Vayin Vigon in the hands of the infamous Kolotian, Ishar, that his wealth will dwindle, that his status will come down a step. That the might of Binoria will be a fickle thing after their first loss at war. But of course, this wasn't to be. The Queen, Dahli Vigon, had received the blessing of Meena, passed down from her father. As long as one with the Jojoh Meena, the blessing of Meena, still ruled, then things will stay as they've always been. Dahli had taken over, ensuring that Binoria didn't fall into anarchy, ensuring the Vigon name remained revered. The beautiful blonde haired girl was now the most potent soul upon the realm. How he longed to have her in his bed, parting those pale thighs sinuated with muscle. She'd become quite the fair lady. And her presence oozed power.
Shama wanted her but a thought kept his desires at bay. She'd frowned at him at the recent Highlords meeting with the throne. Apparently, his tastes and businesses didn't bode well with her. The selling of flesh, that is what he partook in with the zeal of a drowning man reaching for a floating oar. Importing women from all over the realm, some came willingly, others reluctantly. But in the end they all came. Their dignity thrown away for the promise of gold vigons. They filled the whore houses and men flocked to them in throngs, lining his pocket with gold vigons
It was his inventiveness that brought him to the top, the Highlord of the Eastlocal was once a position few envied. But his eye, trained in the art of commerce, enabled him to transform the east of Binoria. Creating a network that not only benefited him, but also the crown. And in so doing, despite her frowns and her reluctance to treat with him, she still couldn't voice her displeasure. Dahli needed him, she needed him for the coin necessary to maintain her position upon the crown. To line the pockets of her Legions. She needed him, and one day he will have her. No woman can deny him, and if they did, there were ways to make them give in.
Suddenly, the twin oak doors leading to his bed chambers flew open. The Captain of the Red Guard, in charge of his safety, Shang, walked in. "Highlord." He said with a bow, the women around him stirred. Outside, a bell started ringing, slowly at first then with extreme vigor. Something is wrong. Shang's obvious panic was clear to see. The opened door allowed him to see several Red guards crowded at the door.
"What is the meaning of this?" Shama asked, his beady eyes on Shang. An inhuman scream sounded somewhere within the fortress. Shama's blood chilled in his veins.
"There's an intruder." Shang said while ravaging through the clothes on the floor. He lifted a red jerkin, two sizes too large, the right size for the Highlord. He threw it at Shama and the Highlord hastened to put it on. He ignored the bewildered looks of the naked whores.
"Intruders or intruder?" Shama asked as Shang led him out of his bed chambers. Another scream sounded, closer. The guards at the door, seven of them, crested around him as Shang led the way.
"A woman, she's alone." Shang said.
Shama gripped Shang's arm, halting him. "What do you mean by this? A singular woman causing... causing... this?"
"She's..." Shang hesitated.
"Speak! You fool!"
"She seems to be inhumanly strong and fast. I only saw her fight through a blockade of my brothers, without a sword. She tore my brothers— the Red Guards, to pieces." Shang's eyes became glazed, as if his mind was replaying the mayhem he'd bore witness to. Shama let go of his arm. The trembling was taking him again, starting at the soles of his feet, up his spine around his neck to his hands. It had been so long since he felt this, the animalistic fear confounded on the existence of an unknown, an unknown that sought to see him dead.
"Captain, what is your course of action?" Shama asked.
Shang seemed to shake himself free of his trance. "We're going to take you to the stables, get you on the fastest steed and—" A scream echoed through the halls of the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Checking everyone in place.
"What of provisions?"
"There's no time." Shang said. He drew a flat blade from the scabbard at his side. The Guards all around mimicked him, the rustling of steel could be heard, and there, at the Western end of the fortress, screams sounded.
Shang started a brisk walk towards the East end of the Fortress. His boots, soles lined with metal, clancked upon the ground. Shama shuffled close behind Shang, panting like a mare in heat. The Red Guards around him stole glances to their rear, sweat woven with fear formed a sleek mask upon their startled faces. And in those eyes Shama was able to weigh how dire matters were.
A shout sounded from ahead, bringing Shang to an abrupt stop. "How—" His words caught in his throat as a woman caked in blood and gore emerged from the bend linking the hallway they were in to another hallway that led to the stables.
She stood before them and spread out her bloody fingers at Shama. "Highlord, nice to meet you." She waved. "Say, I hear you can show a woman a good time and I'm in quite the mood for a good time tonight."
Shama trembled, the woman seemed vaguely familiar. The angles of her cheekbones , that nose, those eyes. She resembled Dahli.
"Moran and Jesul to me!" Shang commanded. Two of the guards behind Shama moved forward to flank Shang on either side. "Employ any forms, ensure I get close to her so I may employ the form of Awe."
Awe— the grappling technique that ensured the limbs were pinned. Shama saw Shang's ploy. He needed to contain the woman so Shama could move past them and head for the stables. Shama cursed himself for the design of his fortress that allowed for only one route to the stables.
Shang, Moran and Jesul raised their broad swords. One raising it above the head in a form of Rage, the other bringing the blade level with his face in the form of Pride. Shang lowered his blade and the guards flanking him charged, he followed close behind. The woman let out a cry that could only be translated as one of glee. She charged them.
Moran brought his sword down on the woman but she slid on her knees, allowing momentum to push her beyond the reach of his blade. Jesul thrust at her, raising his right leg and angling the sword downwards at her face. But the woman dodged, spun upon the ground on the small of her back and kicked Jesul's leg from under him. Jesul fell and as he raised his head he met with the woman's fist, there was a loud crunch as his face caved in. His hand let go of the sword as his body became limp.
Shang saw the opening and dived at the woman before she could stand. The woman spread her arms wide, welcoming. Shang pounced but instead landed on the woman's upraised knees, she grabbed his leather armor by the collar and flung him behind her and onto Moran. Both of them collapsed on the ground.
She stood up and smiled at Shama.
"Who are you?" Shama asked.
"I'm Masutap, the sister of Queen Dahli." The woman answered.
"Men! Turtle formation! Swords out, save the Highlord! Move you fools!" Shang said as he picked himself up from the ground behind Masutap.
The men around Shama compacted closer. Their swords pointing at Masutap who regarded them with a smirk upon her face. They inched forward, hesitantly at first, then with confidence as they saw their Captain pick up his sword. They all came to a stand still when the eyes of the woman glowed a fierce red, as if she held the Jojoh Meena. And Shama, the Highlord of the Eastlocal, trembled before her gaze.
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Intuition, the immediate cognition without the use of conscious rational processes. It was simple for her, she dodged the sword thrusts and swipes easily. She turned either way, always beyond reach of the blades, always within striking distance. Her strength was a thing of beauty, somehow her frail wrists held the power necessary to crush a throat and crush a throat she did. She didn't tire, she didn't require forms of combat. The power of the Goddess of Order coursed through her veins and with it came rejuvenation.
The Red Guards pounced on her, seeking to put in place the form of Awe. But their efforts were in vain, she side stepped them easily, always on her feet. She saw an opening and like a river emptying into the Rankf sea she took it, delivering a punch to the side of a Guard's chest, feeling as ribs broke and punctured the lung.
**What is the purpose of this?* The Goddess Meena spoke within her mind. An ever present being whose words sought to throw her off, to calm the tempest raging within her. Masutap didn't want calm, she wanted fire and brimstone, she wanted Binoria to burn so their precious Queen will rule nothing but ash. She decreed this with a war cry, plunging into the midst of the Red Guards. She kicked two, flinging them across the hallway. One thrust with his blade but she caught it between her arm and side, she twisted the blade free of his grasp, gripped the hilt and decapitated the man in one swift motion.
She parried a strike to her left, danced free of two thrust then brought the blade down onto a Guard's head. She felt as the blade bit bone and she wasted no time in pulling it free. **What is the purpose of this?* Meena asked once more.
Masutap took three steps back to widen her periphery. "An inferno." She said as she flexed her sword hand. Suddenly, the Guard who was definitely their Captain, reached into the mass of clustered Guards pressed to the wall, away from her. And pulled the Highlord free of the men surrounding him.
"Form a blockade!" He screamed as he tagged and pulled at the distraught Highlord, leading him towards the end of the hallway. The remaining Guards blocked her vision of them. Like a fool she'd been too enthralled by the battle, allowing the Highlord to slowly slip past her, cocooned in the safety of the Guards in their turtle formation. He was making clear his escape and somehow, this aroused her, blowing upon an ember lodged deep within her until it sparked.
**What is the purpose of this?* Like a parrot, the Goddess repeated her question.
"An inferno." Masutap answered and lunged.
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He was sweating profusely, his breath caught in his throat, causing him to choke on air. He followed Shang, feeling the Captain of the Red Guard's displeasure at his inability to keep up. They descended a flight of stairs, taking three at a time. He almost collapsed but the Captain steadied him.
"Not far now my Lord. Just at that bend before us." Shang said. They took the bend and ran clear of the fortress. The horses were just ahead, they rushed to them. Shama took delight in the open air. The stables were void of people, Shama wondered where the stable hands were. They entered the stable and Shang dragged him to the first cubicle on the right where a saddled horse stood.
Shama hastily climbed onto the saddle with the aid of the Captain. Shang placed his Highlord's feet in the stirrups and moved to flank the horse. "Lord." He said, fighting for solid ground that will enable his words to come forth easily. "It has been an honor to serve under you." Shama smiled but his smile proved too little a gesture to carry the weight or their current predicament. "Ride hard for the Capital, ensure the Queen knows of all that's gone down here. I will stay back and hold her for as long as I can." Shang concluded with a crisp salute. The Highlord nodded and with the guidance of his captain upon the horse's reins, they exited the stable "She is a good steed, see the mark of her coat? She can take you far." Shang said once free of the stables. A scream sounded from within the fortress, horrid in its guttural screech. "Go now my Lor—" Shang's words died in his mouth as an explosion erupted at the first floor of the fortress, stone parted, breaking as easily as a clay vase, the window panels and the glass set in place erupted outwards with the stone. Three figures tumbled free of the eruption, tangled in the air, twisting with the fall. They landed, the woman on her feet, knees bent and a fist pressed to the ground, the other two guards lay insensate upon the ground, their bodies a mangled mess. Shang slapped the horse's hide and Shama took of in a gallop.
The Highlord turned back, watched as the woman rose free of the debri and charged Shang. The captain employed a form of Grind but the Highlord's view was hindered by a sharp turn around the cobblestones towards the gate of his fortress. The blood and bodies upon the ground unsettled the horse, forcing its pace to be more hurried and Shama was all the more grateful for it.
She has the Jojoh Meena! Shama thought with awe as the horse broke free of the fortress in a quick gallop that had him bouncing upon the saddle. His thighs felt the brunt force of his escape but he could do nothing but hold on for dear life. This is what I'm reduced to, at the end of the line dependency thrives, in old age your children are those you depend on. I never thought I'd come to rely on anyone throughout my life. Yet here I am, depending on a horse to save my skin. He turned his head back and heaved a sigh of relief. The fortress was dwindling within his periphery, he had made quick his escape. Shama will live to see another day. And when the sun rises and sets, I will bring judgment upon the woman whose very existence rivals my own. Masutap. I will hunt her, she will know no safety within the realm, she will never know peace or a good night's slee— Something unnerved him. There, at the entrance to the fortress, a figure appeared. Following the path charted by his horse. She hopes to outrun my horse? He tilted his head back and laughed. There is faith and delusion and she seems to be enamored by both. To think her capable of outrunning a horse. What a fool what a— His thoughts halted when he turned back, his mouth dropped, his jaw hanging loose. Masutap was catching up, he did not know how but she was gaining on him. She'd been a speck in the distance, barely visible against the backdrop of the fortress. But now her features were getting more defined and her limbs, they were a blur as she pushed forward with inhuman speed.
Panic drove Shama into action, he kicked his heels at the horse's flanks. Willing it to go faster. "Run you fool! Run!" He was frothing at the mouth as the horse went downhill, cutting his view of the one in pursuit. He gripped harder at the reins and screamed, slapping the horse's neck. He looked back to see Masutap emerge upon the hill and start a quick descent after him. He thought about guiding the horse into the wilderness and thought against it seeing that a gallop won't be possible with trees in the way. His only hope was in outpacing her for surely, even one with the Jojoh Meena must tire. He hoped Masutap would relent, he hoped her bloodlust would have proved sated by the guards who'd met their end by her. He hoped that he would live to see the sun climb into the sky one more time. Darkness was setting in and suddenly thoughts of the sun and it's warmth sprouted a yearning within him that made him weep. He turned his head back, she was a hundred paces away. The horse was tiring, it's gallop lazed in vigor. This is the end then, all those afternoons spent indoors hosting orgies. I should have spent them beneath the sun, I should have spent them in the sun He looked back once more, his horse barely keeping pace. The horse threw a shoe and Shama was flung off it. He tumbled onto the ground, his weight rested upon his twisted knee, the sharp pop of the joint led him into an anguished wail. The horse screamed, its fore limbs oddly twisted. The horse thrashed upon the ground and Shama rolled away. He felt weak, he felt defeated and most of all, he felt hopeless.
He lay there, watching the sky, the moon was up, barely half of it adorned the night. He wished it had been full, all those nights when he'd regarded the sky as one would a thing of no consequence. Now he found himself wishing he'd appreciated it more. In the end regrets rule the mind, for in its dying wails no sound of gratitude can be heard.
She came and stood above him, her face blocking the view of the sky. She breathed loudly and for a moment the only sounds around them were from the injured horse and her.
"Dahli will come for you." He opined despite the throbbing pain within his twisted leg.
"Shama, darling," Masutap said as she lowered herself to lie beside him. She chuckled. "Darling, that word. The Goddess Meena loves that word. She uses it a lot. I find it distasteful yet here I am. Calling you darling."
"I have not time for pleasantries." Shama interjected. "Cut my throat and be done with it."
Masutap sighed. "That's not a creative way to kill someone you know. No, how many women have suffered pain beneath you? I have to give answer to that and that means a show. I will drag you to your fortress, there I will strip you naked and castrate you. I will feed you your cock as the women whom you took advantage of watch. Then we'll douse you in Rankf Oil and set you alight."
Shama started weeping. And a new voice joined the fray, he wept, she heaved and the horse screamed.
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In the last six months, I did the full circle going from Apple Notes to trying to find a cross platform app — starting with Apple Notes -> OneNote -> Notion -> Obsidian and then back to Apple Notes.
Apple Notes does everything I want it to do but it has one huge flaw - it is Apple-only, which rules out my Windows Desktop. I have a MacBook pro from 2013 that has slowed down a lot and doesn’t offer the latest Notes features out of the box (updated to Sonoma using OCLP, got the features but at the expense of speed and battery power). So I have had very poor Windows experience on iCloud.com and slow Mac experience. Lots of people get around this by either upgrading their Apple devices, or using a cross-platform app like ToDoist, but I didn’t want a paid app - after all I was getting by using the native apps.
Then, I heard the CEO of Notion talk in this video. His ideas really resonated with me and I was impressed by his vision.
See, I am a tinkerer at heart, but when it comes to productivity, I have to have something that works. When Ivan talked about giving “Lego bricks” to adults to build a tool that they can use to do whatever they want and improve their productivity, that really resonated with me.
The mistake I made last time I tried Notion was going for the mobile app first. The experience is bad there unless you come to it from the Desktop app. Also the Notion Calendar app had not launched. So 3 days ago (June 4th, 2024) I watched a few YouTube videos to grab the basics of Notion’s block and database architectures. Then I dove straight in…
The lucky thing was that I came into this just after the recent quality of life improvements and, more importantly, the new Home page with its My tasks widget.
I wanted an app which I could use to organize my life and work using PARA and GTD methods and have been using a combination of Apple Notes, Reminders and Calendar. After Notion rolled out the calendar feature, and more recently its Home feature where you can bring in tasks from different databases, the whole thing clicked.
Here’s how it works: I have an Inbox where the Web Clipper sends things for me to Capture. I then have a Task List (which syncs to the Home page and my Google/Notion Calendar) with tasks that I have clarified to work on. It has reminders so I get notifications on iOS and also have the Notion Calendar widget, populated with my Tasks database items. Placed its Widget on the iOS home screen and BOOM, I can glance at my to-do list everywhere.
Then there is the two-way sync with calendar. Tasks go there automatically, any changes to date/time are reflected automatically. The appointments I set up there show up in my Notion Home page as well. Just brilliant.
Then there is Notion itself - I have now set up a Content page for all the articles/other media I want to keep, neatly organized and sortable. A books list. All the goodies you can achieve with a sea of templates. I thought the sheer number of templates and possibilities with Notion could be a distraction, but if you can keep your focus, you can build exactly what you want with this app to serve your needs. I am now overflowing with productive ideas about learning, blogging, vlogging, archiving, planning work projects etc. etc.
The app also has backlinks, although no graph view a la Obsidian or Roam - which I found to be a gimmick. So no problems there.
And then ton of other useful features — downloadable templates, standard hyperlink to share to non-users, publishing directly to web, support for many Markdown elements, version history, table of contents, export to PDF/CSV/Markdown formats, an API that helps integrate other apps, the community they fostered… the list just goes on and on.
Even the price is right -FREE for personal and limited with sharing. I may even pay for it given how much it can enable me to achieve.
Can it be better? Sure. Here’s what I really want to see to call this app perfect:

1. Offline availability.
2. OCR support for images/searchable PDFs and documents
3. Design improvements to the mobile app - the Remind toggle and the Time dials are too far apart for example
4. More streamlined design
5. End-to-end encryption - unless it breaks features.

** written in Notion ;) **

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Well this is my second attempt of trying to write all of this out. The first I forgot to copy and paste it before closing out the app and I lost all my progress and I was near the end too. Thank you for the comments last post I enjoyed engaging with them and I hope to do some more the same today. But regardless here we on day 3, I'm determined to stick with this no matter what happens. Let's keep this Worm Week going.
Honorable mentions list: Arc 20 Chrysalis Arc 12 Plague
The Top 7 Arcs in Worm according to my opinion:

1. Arc 16 Monarch
   
2. Arc 24 Crushed
   

Today's Honorable Mention: Arc 19 Scourge This was a great send off to the Undersiders partners in crimes, the Travelers. The opening with Taylor being in the dream like state, dreaming of her past trauma with the bullies. It makes me wonder what other capes were experiencing when they were in Echidna, especially Grue and Regent, I need to know. The Echidna fight is so much fun! The clones, Trickster's betrayal, Taylor outsmarting Echidna using Clockblocker's power, to Sundancer blasting her former friend. We also get to learn Tattletale's backstory finally. Not to forget that there is some great interludes, all of them hit. Blasto, Parahumans Online Board, and Emma Barnes, they're all wonderful in their own way. This Arc honestly could have made the list. Speaking of the list
5. Arc 30 Speck: Oh man, I don't know if I have the words to give this Arc the praise it deserves. It's the ending that completely and perfectly sticks the landing. Wildbow did an amazing job, cannot praise him enough. I'm not sure where I should start with this. I have so many memories of where I was when certain moments happen and my reactions/feelings. But I suppose with the other ones I'll start from the beginning and make my way through it. Amy is freaking out over what she did. Seriously who let this girl cook. Never ever let her cook even with consent. It took me a long time to realize that Taylor was doing the wrong things for what she considered the right reason, I believed her justifications almost every time and went a long with it because I love her as a character that much. But it was here when Tattletale was berating her over what she did that I realized what a monster she had become. Skipping over Taylor, now Khepri, visit to Teacher. When Taylor starts talking about how she's lost her ability to read and how much that hurt her because reading was how she connected with her mom I could have sob. She's too far gone, and she's gonna become even further gone. She ends up fighting Dragon. I hate this fight, not cause it's bad, but because it brokes my heart so much. Dragon was the one who always gave Taylor the benefit of the doubt, always trust her, Taylor looked at her like she is a motherly figure even. The person who treated Taylor most like human was an AI. My already broken heart got even more broken when Dragon fakes her death in hopes of making Khepri stop, but Khepri takes down Dragon and takes the Birdcage prisoners with her. Then she comes back to face Scion, then comes the most iconic line in the entire Parahumans series.

This was it. Finally everyone was working together.

I had this line spoiled for me, but I thought he was going to be this big happy moment as all the capes willingly fight against Scion together. But oh no, how wrong I was. I remember just standing there contemplating what I had just heard. With that we get to the final fight with Scion. I could read/listen to this fight forever and not get bored, Khepri's creativity with using everyone's power against Scion is great. Using Doormaker's portals when she sends every volley of blaster powers Scion's way and closes the portal so Scion can't retaliate. Making Sundancer's orb as big as possible along side with Chevalier's cannon blade using Vista's power, using Number Man to see what will hit, using Defiant's technology to know what Scion's next move is. She goes so hard people start having strokes, then she uses Canary to sing to them. Which I want to know what Canary exactly was singing, I would love some WOG on it. Also when Taylor pulls Dinah, my heart could have sank. She was Taylor's motivation through the majority of the first half of the book. Now here she is being used as a puppet. There's a moment in arc 18 where Taylor realizes she's becoming Coil because she realizes how useful Dinah's power is, and here she is now literally becoming Coil using Dinah. Then Doormaker loses his power and all hopes seems lost until Taylor begins taunting and bullying Scion by reminding him of his lost partner. I love this so much, it really does come full circle. She has to become essentially her trauma to beat Scion. It surely does work. She breaks the spirit of the warrior. This right here is my favorite line from this Arc

In the moment that hope died, the girl with the injured hand used her power on the iron rods. Infused them with the energy he was afraid of.
Those rods became projectiles, in another’s hands.
His hope was gone, he was bewildered, scared.
He didn’t try to dodge. He couldn’t or wouldn’t.

The mental image of Scion running in horror not being able to deal with this type of emotional pain is so fascinating. It shows he's not human, because humans know how to endure this type of pain but Scion doesn't. I've heard of a lot of people have this head cannon and I do too, that Scion asked his path to victory "How do I make this pain go away?" And the path victory told him, not to move. Taylor thinking everyone is trying to fight her when they are cheering, applauding, rejoicing, genuinely brings me to tears just to even think about. I want nothing more but to give her a hug in that moment. But Contessa takes her away, and in a moment that I will always remember sitting in my bedroom listening to the audiobook screaming no as Contessa shoots Taylor twice leaving her fate unknown. A perfect end to a perfect book.
I'm going to be completely honest I kind of rushed the end because I've been up for way too long and I needed to get this out today. The next 4 days I'm going to try to do my due diligence and make sure these come out as best I can. Please feel free to talk about this Arc in the comments and what your favorite part was, I would love to hear from the community. As always thank you for reading, I'll see you tomorrow.

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I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

Part 1 — link Part 2 — link Part 3 — link Part 4 — link
The penultimate script! And the climax of the story. We'll conclude next time with the heartfelt dénouement. Only one editing phase left. I can't wait to be done with this series, haha.
Remember that this script has two speakers, the Heir and the Contact. The Contact will show up in the last script, but only briefly.
Feel free to record, monetize, and/or modify as long as you give credit.
And any sort of constructive critique or feedback is welcome!
Wordcount: 2000
Setting: The first half is spent with the listener laying in a ditch in the streets outside the summit. Then the Contact drags them to a nearby stable. Finally, the heir's public execution in an inappropriately well-appointed garden within the summit.
Summary: There you are, bleeding in a ditch. The heir is gone. Off on a fool's errand to save the King and Queen. The Republic has outplayed you all. But someone is getting closer. And they're cursing your name in a familiar voice. Maybe there is a chance to set things right. You did not come without contingencies.
(Listener's contact rushes from the summit through the streets, getting closer)
[Contact]
[Sarcastic] Sure. Just leave me behind. That's fine. Don't worry about your fellow agent or anything. The summit fucking implodes and you up and vanish. Fantastic timing. Just—
(Sees the listener) Oh shit!
(Rushes over) Hey. Hey! Can you hear me? Are you alive?
...
Heartbeat. You lucky bastard. Left bleeding in a gutter and you pull through. Eh. Mostly.
That's a lot of bloody bandages. I guess someone took pity on you. Didn't stick around though. Whoever it was, you owe them your miserable life. But I can't afford to be nice.
Come on, wake up! Don't pull this with me. I can see your eyes are open. I know you can hear me.
Rise and fucking shine!
...
Finally. Yep, yep, can we speed up the whole delirious act? We need to move. Soldiers are looking for us.
...
Uh, no. I don't know what happened to you. Mainly because you abandoned me. Remember that? But I'm generous: water, bridge, you get it. Want to repay me? Then get over your flesh wound, stand up, and get moving. It's just a scratch. If you can't handle that, I will bail on you.
...
An arrow? Fine. That would explain all the blood. But it doesn't matter. Last I checked you were a Dominion assassin. With that injury you could march ten miles through a blizzard. Barefoot. Try harder.
But this isn't about pain, is it? This is about morale. You're at rock bottom. Not to mention exhausted. But you had your little nap. Take your second wind and get on your feet.
Grab my hand. Up you go. There. Steady. I got your arm. Here, lean on my shoulder.
You should be thankful I came back for you.
...
Why?! I'm saving your life, and you ask why? Wow. Do you not trust me? Talk about ungrateful.
Didn't I tell you before? My job is to get us—both of us—out of here alive. 'Cause when shit like this happens, we can't survive on our own. We're a team, like it or not.
Come on, there's a stable up ahead. Saw a couple horses we can steal. Just one step at a time.
...
Those bandages, that wasn't you. Remember who it was? If someone knows where we are—
...
The royal heir?! You didn't kill them?!
...
You—ugh, no. You're right, it doesn't matter now. I didn't think the Republic could pull off a real coup. Nobody else did either, apparently. Doesn't make me feel less stupid.
There's some good news though. It's obvious we aren't to blame. When we get back home, our superiors probably won't have us killed. If we get home.
Wait... where's the heir then?
...
Ah... I get it. Found out our plan, huh? Considering the circumstances, you really are a lucky bastard. By all rights, you should have a lot more bloody holes. Looks like your unprofessional fondness for the target was returned.
Shame about the whole thing. The assassination plot, I mean. A job's a job. And aristocrats certainly don't deserve an exception. But this one was different. Your little royal might be the only noble I can believe is, you know, noble. 'Specially riding off to go die.
...
No, I didn't see anything. Don't think I need to. Soldiers have been searching for any loose nobles. But there aren't any around here. If I were putting down money, I'd say the Republic finished their collection.
...
I didn't say dead.
Actually, things calmed down after the initial attack. They're being all... "Republic-y" about the whole thing. Acting like they're doing the Kingdom a favor. I slipped away when their newly wed was blathering on and on about the "tragic necessity of their actions". Blegh.
All that to say, they got the King and Queen chained up. The execution won't be for a while. Not until they're good and ready. But they have the heir now. The Republic may be full of windbags, but this is an opportunity they won't waste. The royal family has about a day left to live.
(Arrive at a small stable with a couple horses)
Speaking of living, we're here. Our four-hoofed tickets to freedom.
Huh. Someone must have been in a hurry; they're saddled and ready. Doesn't bode well for their owner, but good for us. Let's go. I'll help you up.
...
Quit stalling. The Republic is still hunting us.
...
I'm sorry? Save who?
...
No! Absolutely fucking not! We are the ones who need to be saved. And we have our exit right here. You have no obligation to rescue the heir. Your job was the exact opposite. Did you forget?
...
I saved your life. You shouldn't throw it away over some bandages. Especially for someone who hates your guts now.
...
You know what? I gave you three chances. I'm not staying here to die. Listen to me. We don't need to make it all the way home. Our forces are stationed nearby. All we have to do is ride 'till we reach them and then—
—What?
...
Yes, Dominion troops are still in the area. You should know that. What does it matter?
...
The plan's already gone sideways. Calling them in won't do any good. Remember, they were supposed to be the backup coup in case the Kingdom figured out the plan. But the Republic struck first. I don't see how bloodshed helps us here.
...
Wait. Are you serious? You want our military to save the Kingdom.
This is... making a disturbing amount of sense. Let me talk through this.
I call in the cavalry to free the Kingdom from the Republic. That unifies Dominion and Kingdom against the Republic despite what our leaders think. The Dominion gets the war they want, and the Kingdom gets to make peace with one of their neighbors. And the powers will balance out...
Still sounds crazy. But it's better than the Republic controlling the Kingdom.
...
There's one problem: we can only ride so fast. If the royal family dies before we return, this will all be for nothing. Even worse, we'll have a war on two fronts.
...
You're staying? The blood on your chest is still wet. What are you going to do?
...
(Long sigh) Fine. Save the heir. I knew you were too sentimental for this job. We need you to go all-out. If this is what it takes, do it. Cut them to ribbons.
If I run this horse ragged, I'll be back before dawn. Hopefully, with a small army in tow. That's your timeline.
...
Good luck you lunatic. You better be alive when I get back, both of you. This better be love. If I did all just for you to die tragically, I swear I'll—
I'm going, I'm going!
Do your job this time!
(Contact rides off)
... ... ...
(The heir gives a speech to the Republic forces before their execution)
[Heir]
(Indignant) Very well. If my spouse says that these are my last words, I will heed the threat.
I know my voice will fall on deaf ears. A court of Republic sycophants and Kingdom traitors is hardly worthy to witness the death of a lineage. But they will serve their purpose. As will I. Willing or not.
But know this: the Kingdom will not bow to your tricks. My people will never surrender. Take the crown and they will rip it from your head. Take the throne and they will topple it. You may think you've won but rebellion will smolder under our ashes.
You posture yourselves as "liberators", yet you would kill me in front of my parents? Your cruelty betrays your fecklessness!
(The heir's spouse hits them)
...
(Deep breaths) What's the matter, my love? Was execution insufficient? You needed to strike me yourself. Are you so thin-skinned, even in triumph? I can't believe I married someone so pathetic.
...
Your words would sting if I had heart left to break. Let's finish this. I have nothing more to say to you all.
Mother, Father... I'm sorry.
...
You needn't be shy, executioner. My neck is there for the—
(The listener swoops in, subduing the heir's spouse and the executioner)
It... it's you. What are... Did you just stab my partner?
...
Not a complaint, just a question.
...
You didn't kill them, did you?
...
Good, a hostage will make this easier. However, we are surrounded by Republic soldiers. Did you have a scheme to survive the stalemate? An escape plan?
...
The Dominion?! I... that's right! The papers said a company of soldiers were stationed nearby. It slipped my mind. You called them to aid us?
...
How can I trust you? I will admit, you saved my life. But what's to say you aren't manipulating me again? I'm sick of being a pawn.
...
I see. The Republic hardly needs to be framed now. And coming to our aid will require your leaders to ally with us. That... I think that would work!
One moment.
(The heir addresses the crowd)
Agents of the Republic. The execution of my family will be indefinitely postponed. Before you seek to retaliate my... my guardian has my darling spouse at the point of a knife. Furthermore, you have fallen into our trap. The unified forces of the Kingdom and Dominion will soon arrive to liberate us.
I would advise you all to surrender now.
...
(Back to the listener)
What? It was only a slight exaggeration. A little fib to make this go more smoothly. See, they're cowering already. We've won. Now, keep your eye on the Republic's soon-to-be divorcée.
(Heir rushes over to their parents)
Mother, Father, are you alright? Please forgive me for returning. I know you'd prefer my escape, but I couldn't let you die. I was overwhelmed and felt like I had no one I could trust and—
...
Yes, I'm fine. Shaken, but fine. I am much better now that we are all safe. Thanks to my guardian here.
...
Correct, from the caravan. The one who escorted me home after my "escapade" in the capital.
...
F-fond of them?! I—ahem—I must have given the wrong impression if you recall them as "the one I'm fond of". We don't have time for teasing. We must secure ourselves for when the Dominion forces arrive.
...
How did I know? Oh... uh... well. It's a bit complicated.
(Deep breath) My guardian discovered a plot by the Dominion to kill me. It was to pit us against the Republic, but it turns out they did not need the help. The Dominion posted a reserve force nearby as a precautionary measure. Now they are being called to aid us instead. Is that sufficient?
...
Right, we'll speak afterwards. Please, take command. I'm quite spent. If you don't mind, I'll rest over here.
(The king and queen leave)
...
You have not yet assuaged all my fears of betrayal, still... thank you. I believe I treated you worse than I ought. But, to learn that you—above all others—betrayed me... and the idea of losing my parents... it was too much to bear.
...
Yes, above all others. You heard what the King and Queen said. There was a reason I was so open with you on the road. And why I lied to them about your plot.
My feelings are confused and stormy. But when all of this is over, I would speak with you. I may have shielded you for now, but there is much to discuss regarding the future of our three nations.
...
Good. Now... be honest. How unbecoming would it be if I kicked my traitorous spouse?
...
(Sigh) You are correct. Why must it be so hard to win with grace?
I will let justice take its course. Nothing left to do now but wait. Please, keep watch over me. I am too tired to sit patiently.

Shipping is $5 to US
Perfumes are tested once or twice on clean skin and always stored in a cool, dark location.
For wand-cap samples/Ajevie slinks, tags are wrapped around vials for storage.
Cat-friendly & smoke-free home (but my kitty is very uninterested in perfumes!)
Full list & details on my sheet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Highlights:
Full Sizes
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

• A Tudor House in Moonlight (A slurry of ambergris accord, pale sage and white mint, mugwort, mahogany, coffee bean, and wet dead leaves.) 5ml, $15
• Breathing Destruction From Their Lips Like Flame (Dried red fruits, pink peppercorn, black fig, nagarmotha, and vetiver.) 4ml in 5ml bottle,$10

Death & Floral

• I Was Born a Bitch, I Was Born a Painter (Sweet basil and violets, blended with Spanish moss, yarrow oil, and blue musk.) 5ml rollerball, $6

PULP Fragrance

• Boreal (A dark, green forest scent featuring artemesia, juniper, Douglas fir needles, black spruce, and woodland musk.) 4.5ml rollerball, $15
• Pi Day 2024 (Lemon custard, rosewater meringue, buttery pie crust, & radiant solar musk.) 4.5ml screw-top bottle, $15

Indie Samples from Black Hearted Tart, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, Crow & Pebble, Fantôme, Olympic Orchids, Possets, PULP Fragrance
Niche Samples from Marissa Zappas, Universal Flowering
Full list & details on my sheet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for reading!

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I thought I'd make a consolidated post for people who get a Dell T320 and need some help getting the most of the old (but still quite useful) hardware. Additional comments and suggestions are very welcome.

1. Update to the latest bios. Go to the Dell site, download the latest T320 bios (2.9.0 as of this writing). Some of the tutorials and videos on this are outdated. These steps should work for you (thanks morningcoffee1): I created a bootable MS-DOS USB on my regular (windows) desktop: I used the latest Rufus version (4.5) which has 3 options: select ISO to create disk image, MS-DOS or Free-dos. I chose "MS-DOS". It prompted for a .dll download which I approved. The resulting USB is still accessible by windows (unlike creating a FreeDos version... didn't get that to work) so I copied the new BIOS file (T320-020900C.exe) which I had downloaded from the Dell website, in the root of the USB. Restarted the T320, on the Dell splash screen pressed F11, selected BIOS option, choose device, select harddisk, scroll to USB, and literally 3 seconds later have a MS-DOS prompt! A 'DIR' command showed me the executable from Dell. Typed "T320-0~C" (file name as shown with the DIR command without the .exe), hit enter and voila!

**after updating the bios, many people will experience a significant cpu performance hit from an automated change to a setting. To undo this and get the full power of the cpu, F2 into the BIOS and select System Profile, change the profile from Performance per Watt to Performance\**

1. Flash the perc raid controller to IT mode. Why? better performance, more compatibility. You lose the highly restricted hardware raid but the controller will now recognize most hard drives and you can always set up software raid. Go to this link Introduction - Fohdeesha Docs
   
2. Change your fan speed. If you seem to be stuck between the choice of your server (and drives and cpu) running too hot, or setting the fan speed higher in bios and sounding like you live at the airport, go here and learn the commands to set the fan speed where you want it: Silence Your Dell PowerEdge Server — SPX Labs
   
3. Upgrade the cpu. The best cpu that can go in the Dell T320 is the E5-2470v2. You can get them for $15 or less at ebay or Aliexpress. By changing my E5-2420v2 to the E5-2470v2, I got a very noticable performance increase (icreased clock speed and increased L3 on chip cache), and went from 6 cores/12 threads to 10 cores/20 threads.
   
4. Upgrade the memory. DDR3 ECC is ridiculously cheap. Ideally, you will open your T320 and verify the specific memory you are running, and purchase more of that. I bought my T320 with 32gb of memory, and paid $30 for an addtional 64 gb of SK Hynix 16GB 2Rx4 PC3-12800R-11-12-E2 ECC REG Server Memory. About 50cents per gb. Now I'm using 96gb of memory, 10cores/20threads with the cpu upgrade above, and building virtual machines left and right.
   

These upgrades can help you get the most out of your T320. There are other upgrades that might interest you (I bought a pcie nvme adapter, a pcie usb 3.1 adapter, and a 2.5gb pcie ethernet card, all for around 10 bucks each). You have to discipline yourself not to snatch up all the cheap upgrades you can make with these. But for a minimal expense and effort, you can boost these into a quite usable server that is also a great learning experience.

I want to leave the man i’ve been dating for 10 years, but more than that, i want him to change back into the man he used to be. I’ve been trying to help him get well again, and sometimes i get these cues that make it seem like he is getting better, but after 3 years of him resisting my help, i have to wonder if there will ever be an end to it. Will he ever be independent again, or does staying with him mean that i will forever be his life coach, keeping him stable enough to not disrupt my plans and goals?
I know that relationships include seasons of supporting one another, and that the cost of having his support means spending mine. Ideally, we could go back and forth. But he is not the person i seek for my own support - in part because he’s my biggest problem.
He’s good at helping me with tangible, worldly problems. He sacrifices his time to help me with my car and my computer, and picks out the correct drywall screws for shelves and bookcase wall mounts when I'm worried about making the wrong choice. And he gives me a feeling of security, as another adult body who can catch me when I make mistakes. But when I need deep emotional support he rarely has anything to say. I feel unwelcome sharing my emotions.
I sacrifice my emotional and mental bandwidth to remind him he needs to do things he already promised he would do, remind him to take care of himself by brushing his teeth, and encourage him to own the direction of his therapy appointments. And i sacrifice my wants so that meeting my standards is more accessible to him. And I'm forgiving and understanding every time he lets me down. I spend a lot of thought trying to figure out the right time to say things, thinking about how he may react, and how to make that easier. I think of his schedule, his workload, and his duties and plan around to find the perfect moment to confront him without setting him off on a depressive tailspin that will keep him up at night and lead to a bad workday the next day, or sandwich the confrontation around a good atmosphere so he can feel secure enough to not hide in fear from the issue.
He relapsed two weeks ago, in response to me vocalizing my frustration that he told me he’d do something and then didn’t. (he'd been telling me he'd do it for more than a month!) I’m afraid of how much sway my words have over him, so instead of being honest about how much betrayal and pain i felt from his relapse, and how he didn't stick to the plan we agreed on to intercept it from happening, I had to suck it up and congratulate him and tell him i was proud that he stopped before his drinking got out of control.
If my love for him were a body, then the respiratory system would inhale air polluted by his betrayals and unreliability. And the lungs would filter and screen out the bad stuff so it could distribute the silver linings and good parts to the body to keep my love alive. The pollutants would stay in my cells, but i would only exhale level headed patience back out into the atmosphere. But i’m sick from it.
I still love him as a cherished friend, but i am not “in love” with him anymore. I fell in love with his sense of initiative, responsibility, and values and he doesn’t seem to have those qualities anymore. If this cloud of depression would just release him, i know those qualities would come back. That’s why i’ve been holding out - the knowledge that he has been better in the past and that he can be better in the future.
In December, i’d pitched the idea of separating for a period so that he could focus on himself. I told him how it was unreasonable to expect him to love me, when he was struggling to love himself, and we could both take time apart and come back better. I feel that the turmoil of our relationship prevents us both from healing - we might make it work if we can heal separately. He did not believe this would help, so we stayed. Six months later, i’m now thinking of telling him “we tried staying together and it didn’t work, so let’s do my idea and take a break for a year,” but am I just trying to delay the permanent break up I actually want deep down inside? And would such conditions actually make it harder for him to get better? Won’t he just perceive this as abandonment and weaponize it to flog himself into oblivion? in January, we moved into different bedrooms as a compromise. I felt i regained a measure of myself, while he confessed how much harder it has been since.
He is improving, in some ways. Maybe it is helping him for me to stay with him. But it's inversely hurting me. With the help of a lot of Doctor K videos I’ve sent him, he’s finally opened up enough for me to understand why his executive dysfunction is the way that it is, why his sense for emotions are behind a brick wall, how his anxiety prevents him from keeping his promises, and why he chooses to cope by numbing his mind. And for a time, I was hopeful because discoveries like this mean that there are solutions and pathways to wellness. We can start getting better with focused intention and it will work this time! Or will it? Will he always be a metaphorical project car that I’m spending whole weekends tweaking - slapping my hand on the hood and thinking, “Boy, once this baby is up and running, we can start actually living! Trips on the open road - the sights we’ll see - think of the possibilities!” Unable to see how delusional it is to think we could leave the garage again for more than quick trips to the store. I suppose i just don't have very much faith in him at this point, even though these evidences of progress should be envigorating me to continue.
For what it’s worth, I'm not agonizing about the fantasy that I might miss out on finding my actual “mr. right” while I stay with my boyfriend. Every relationship has these hurdles. But I spend all my free effort trying to make him better, and no one is there to make me better - not even myself. I want myself back, not to resign myself to being a troubled man’s crutch for the rest of my life. When i fantasize about leaving him, my future is me living alone, with enough time to foster a beautiful circle of close friends. Better to have a life where there is no one around to love me romanticaly, than to feel such little love from a romatic partner. I try to decenter him from my life so that i can have separate time just for me, but then i feel guilty for leaving him out and not spending time with him. Is there a way to create personal time from a partner, all while knowing how much despair they are in? And while knowing they often need you to stay accountable?
He wasn’t always this way - though i’m sure that the issues which created these problems have always been there. I want to dream that he could transform into a new person much like he used to be, but with the resilience he has earned from his trials. I can’t distinguish if i feel superficial fomo when i think of abandoning us, or if i feel the true grief of a future without him and that prevents me from leaving. If it's superficial, i need to own up and rip the bandaid. If not, i have to figure out what else i can do to help us survive. After ten years, after seeing the best and worst of a partner, how does one make the choice?

Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.

Hi all! I hope we are having a wonderfulday today! I come to you today, as your Largest Dreamcast Texture Pack Maker, RomRevivaal is needing help and willing to make a bit of a trade/deal. The time has come for RomRevivals Texture Packs to have some real cool videos made up for them! I figure, If I do the recording, provide all the clips, and send them to you, that maybe you could (even with my input , working together) set it up the way I have envisioned in my mind... We would start with one, and then if we both liked how it went, come to terms with what I can give back ( Ill make you a full on texture packs for a game of your choice, for a small handful of short, 2 minute videos.
WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR
I Will be recording gameplay footage with and with out the texture packs on, so Of course we will need a few scenes with side by side comparison footage (left side with out texture pack, right side with).
Snazzy transitions. I dont want this to look like an 80s water bed ad on late night local TV, but I do not want the same transitisons, we want to keep the viewers attention and get them pumped within the 120-180 second clip.
Voice over OR on screen text, with sentences of my choosing ( or if you think you can help with this , feel free to throw out some ideas) and how I see this part of the video, is we have some screen shots of the game, (packs both on and off) kinda panning and fadeing slightlywith the typed text over it stating something like "Sonic Adventure 1 gets a Full Remake in this R.R pack set!" ....as there are some stills, or maybe even 1 or 2 second clips playing, but the screens kinda panning thru a few images, and we would have them be of sonic adventure 1 during this 6 or 7 second windo of time when that line is on the screen
Logo page, I have some logo work, and i can make up a still Logo img (again, if you can help ,SWEET) but we have to put the RomRevival tag on each video, then I will upload them to the RomvRevival Youtube, to join the others, and to share on reddit and other places, showcasing our amazing texture pack sets...
The Future?
Once the inital job is done, if both parties are still interested, I'll need a "on call" Video editor for RomRevival Shorts.... something I can give you the content for, adn idea for design based on the template we come up with on the inital video,and you can work on over the next week, then send back when you have free time to do it, no crazy rushes or pressure...BUT, for when a new pack finshes, we want to make a new short for that as well... so depending on how everything goes, maybe this turns in to a long running deal on aggreed upon terms :) Anything is possible maybe we can keep an open running deal going, and as new packs come out, take and make them as they come, (which isnt all that often, as were trying to finshi more texture packs totaly at the moment) but please, reach out to me here or on discord (discord is the best way at Nexus382) but I should get it anywhere.