My wife and I have dated 2 years, married 3 months. For about half of that we were long distance/international. She lived in Ecuador, I met her on a trip there, and continued to go back every few months to see and take trips with her. Eventually I had her meet my family, she moved in with me in NYC for some time, and I proposed.
We were very in love. While the proposal and eventual wedding was relatively quick due to practical and immigration reasons, I still felt good about it and felt she was my person.
Now the rough parts, she has debilitating anxiety (from living in a dangerous city her whole life and a rape 12 years ago) and is anti-vax/pro sketchy naturopath medicine. I had seen her have an episode here and there but they were infrequent. Starting literally 3 days before the wedding the panic attacks got more severe and more frequent. She was hospitalized just days before the wedding with no clear trigger or solution. She had another one because of a dog we were sitting acting a little nuts and seemed like every week there would be some episode of lower severity compared to the one before the wedding. I was supportive of her through this. Not as much as her parents (who really baby her a lot). Stayed with her in ER, made her soups and teas, walked with her. Made sure she figured out insurance, got her a therapist and primary care doctor. I wasn’t the perfect husband, eventually grew tired/irritable of sleepless nights consoling her and was more distant, not sexually interested but sincerely I was trying. We became more distant after the wedding not closer. Though to be clear I never considered or committed any infidelities and would never. About the naturopath part, she knew how I felt about it. I told her as long as she would never withhold needed medicine in favor unproven natural solutions from our hypothetical child (which would be a dealbreaker and I told her this) I wouldn’t make an issue with how she chose to treat herself. She agreed and understood.
All this came to a head when we were filing for immigration paperwork for her marriage based green card. USCIS requires her have a COVID vaccine and while I knew she wouldn’t like this, I never predicted a meltdown. She had several panic attacks, went to dozens on doctors seeking one that would write her a waiver, and considered hiring a vaccine lawyer to get her a religious exemption. When it seemed none of these avenues were working, she told me would be leaving the US and likely me because she refuses to get this vaccine. That she wouldn’t get it under any circumstances. We had already finished all the paperwork, got all the letters of recommendation, and were so close.
I tried so hard to convince of the safety of the shot, showing her study after study, the relative worse dangers of COVID. In addition, the city where she’s from and would likely move back to where she is too scared to walk at night would surely trigger her anxiety way more than having to recover from the vaccine for a couple days. Once she started telling me she was considering leaving I just felt so numb. Like Jesus this is my life. Her mother and these sketchy doctors she talks to from back home convince her this vaccine will mess her up and she trusts them more than me
We’ve only been married 3 months. I spent about $15K on the wedding in NYC in January with all family and friends and now this is what it’s come to… I’m not super worried about the financial consequences of divorces at this point but damn. This woman has been my life for two years. I feel embarrassed, helpless, like an idiot to be honest. Why I didn’t see this sooner. I know this is a lot. Does this seem at all salvageable to any of you? I feel if we can just sort out her anxiety and get her this shot we’ll be off to the races but things are seeming pretty bleak

I (23-F)know my current best friend (21-M) since 1,5 years. We do everything together, he calls and texts me everyday, knows my family and friends. We met each other at my workplace, and we instantly clicked. I felt nothing romantically at first, but as time flew by, we became closer to one another. We went to the movies and theatre together, went to coffe and tea shops, he helped me around my house (i live alone), came over frequently. I go over to his place often, his friends andd roommates seems to like me as well. He cooked for me, when i was at work and stopped by to give me the food, because he knows, i rarely eat at work. Also we both live in the same city now, but we came from little villages (not the same area). He came to my hometown as well, my whole family adores him and thinks we should get together, because they think we have good influence on each other and great chemistry. He helps my mom with chores, talks buisness with my dad, play games with my brother. So we were at my hometown, at my cousin’s graduate party, when my cousin told him that maybe he should think about his actions, because it seems like he gives me mixed signals. (Like he bought himself a matching shirt to my dress to the party on purpose, had his hands around my waist multiple times, danced with me and wanted to know where i was all the time, proudly talked about my achievements, etc.) He then realised that he didn’t do these kind of things to other female friends, and said, he will talk to me about this. When we were on our way home, he told me about this chat he had with my cousin. I freezed of c, but i was curious about what he wants to say. He told me he would never ever play with my feelings, and he is sorry if he gave me mixed signals, but at the moment he is not ready for a relationship and he is enjoying being single. ( he doesn’t talks to other ppl, doesn’t really have interest in dating as well) Well, it bothered me, that he said this instead of he thinks about ME as a friend, cause he never spoke about what he feels about me. Then he started crying, and said he is really scared that i will keep distance or won’t speak to him ever again, because i am the only person is his life, who supports him the way he needs to be supported, he cares about me more than other friends, and also HE SAID I AM KINDA LIKE HIS SOULMATE. Well, i wasn’t honest, i said that its not a big deal and i don’t really have feelings, its just ppl around us who ships us to get together. Now everything the same, except he calls, texts and makes plans for the two of us more often. I really like him, he is always around when i need help, and we have the most genuine, deep conversations… But i feel like friendship is not enough for me. What should i do?

I (31m) am getting married in a few months and I'm frustrated with my sister (27f) because when I announced my engagement she enthusiastically volunteered to organize and throw a Jack & Jill party (a sort of fundraiser to help the couple pay for the wedding).
I never really wanted one of these parties because asking other people for money for my wedding feels weird and we don't really need the financial help but my fiance told me that it's socially acceptable and will be fun. So we agreed to let my sister organise and do this for us. Again, this was at the time of our engagement announcement.
Fast-forward to present day and we are only a few months from the wedding and only 6 weeks from the date we settled on for this Jack & Jill party and ABSOLUTELY nothing has been planned. We don't have activities, a liquor licence, we don't have games or prizes, we don't have a guest list, there's no tickets for sale yet. I've been hounding my sister trying to prompt her to start planning or do anything at all for it really and she keeps blowing me off and not seeming interested at all.
My fiance and I are considering just cancelling the party because we don't have the time to take on this task unaided. When I told my sister this she became angry at me and said she "would get to it".
I acknowledge that this is for my wedding and not my sister so when I ask her to start planning it's probably annoying to her but she VOLUNTEERED UNPROMPTED for this. It's not something I originally even wanted from her and now somehow I'm the bad guy. It's all just frustrating.

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I’ll try to keep this short but there is a lot of nuance. In the past 1-2 years I have recently reconnected with some friends from my younger days (high school into young adult hood). We will call them Aaron (27 M) and Ashley (28->29 F) and I am 28 F. I previously stopped talking to both of them because of unfulfilled promises. Back in 2018, Aaron’s fiancé had moved to another country with his son and my boyfriend of 1 year plus had left to attend a family wedding and would be gone for close to a month.
Aaron and I in our mutual distress wanted to figure out a solution to our problems. Aaron was unable to fly due to not having papers as was worried his fiancé was lonely and I wanted to be with my partners family. Aaron had promised he would have paid for me to go on my trip before everyone left so my boyfriend’s dad did not count me in the budget for the tickets. With his fiancé leaving it then became I would go be part of the wedding then go stay with his fiancé for a bit. Aaron eventually ended up trying to proposition me for sec in exchange for the spend and that did not rub me right. This eventually carried forward into other issues tied to his affections and expectations of me which resulted in us no longer being friends.
We reconnected in 2022 where he apologized and explained more why he did what he did. My boyfriend asked if I was sure I wanted to welcome him back into my life and that he would trust my judgement if I choose to, which I did. Ashley and I stopped being friends back in 2017 because we had planned a trip for us and our partners. She stated she would use her buddy passes since she was a flight attendant to make the ticket costs cheaper.
The week before the trip it becomes I cannot bring my boyfriend. I was very confused by this. Severely confused by this so I asked why she said she didn’t feel comfortable with it. So I said okay. Don’t use your passes. We will pay for our trip and we can stay with his family. She said she still wanted me to stay with her. So I said okay. We will come, he stays with his family and I stay with you. We can all hang out and grab lunch and stuff and him and I go on dates and such.
Then she explicitly states the trip will not happen if I take him with me. Then she tries to turn it into a trip with people we have not seen from high school to recreate a sleepover we had in the 8th grade that got ruined by our parents. (That’s another story. I will add here my mom does not like Ashley never has) in the end it was all just too much and I decided that I no longer wanted to be friends with her because what she was doing was messed up especially so close to the trip. This on top of all the on and off issues I had with her through the duration of high school just didn’t seem worth it to take into adulthood.
Now 2023 Ashley reached out and apologizes. I was very torn up about the decision but after speaking with my therapist and weighing the risks decided it couldn’t hurt to try again. Both my gf and my bf were opposed to the decision but at the end of the day the choice was mine and I chose forgiveness.
Fall of 2023 my gf and I were planning a Christmas trip and Ashley said she didn’t get to see me while she was I my country because of the traumas she was dealing with with her mom so she would like to see me now. I told her I was going to fly out to spend the holiday with my gf so I didn’t think it would be possible. She stated she would see me in the time before I went to see my GF. I told her because of the trip I couldn’t afford it. She said that’s fine.
She would pay for the ticket for me to see her and I worked out an arrangement with my girlfriend where we would split the fair for the flights between all three locations and said her to do what happened the last time and I said yeah I can trust her. It doesn’t happen and that will be that. Lo and behold it does not happen because Ashley says to me two weeks before oh I overdid my shopping on Black Friday so I can’t buy your plane ticket. Ofc this makes me gf big mad and she says see I told you so. She was also confused why I was not upset. I explained that it wasn’t that I was not upset simply that it doesn’t really change much. I just won’t ask her for anything again. Which I haven’t and won’t.
Fast forward to spring 2024. The group is back together, we’re having weekly calls and our group chat chatting and having a blast. We decide we haven’t spent time as a group since 2017 so we should go see Aaron where he lives. I state very openly that I won’t be able to afford this trip. (Both Aaron and Ashley make a minimum of twice my income). Aaron says that’s fine I’ve got you covered. I question it and explain my hesitances because of both past situations. He said that’s fine don’t worry. I said okay. Let’s do this. The trip is slated for now (may 2024) and encompassed Ashley’s birthday.
A lot of things start happening in Aaron’s life and the ticket purchase gets repeatedly pushed off. This starts to make Ashley antsy so she buys her ticket hoping it pushes Aaron’s to buy my ticket. It does not. In moment of anxiety Ashley starts booking airbnbs for her self and asking how much I trust Aaron to follow through. I assure her that I do trust him follow through which I did. Because outside of the one trip he hasn’t not come through when I needed him too. I also stated at worst I end up buying my own ticket but I need to see what my expenses will look like in the end.
We are down to the wire my ticket is not bought so I start adjusting my bills. In the end I am not able to afford the ticket because even after short paying my bills I was left with roughly $120 which isn’t enough to book a flight or an airbnb for a week.
I told Ashley I would still try to figure it out and reached out to Aaron once more. He said yeah he has the money now but it doesn’t feel like a good time. The energy is off and he wouldn’t want me to come and something bad happens. I agree because what else would I do? It’s not my money nor does he actually owe me anything.
Ashley reaches out because I forgot to get back to her. To confirm The plan and I explain that I won’t be able to come because I really can’t afford it and it doesn’t make sense for me to put myself in a situation to be in a strange country with no emergency funds.
Ashley decides my friendship with her will fully change and she won’t take my word for anything again because I didn’t come to avoid having a bad trip not taking her feelings into consideration.
In the midst of this I start feeling anger towards both of them because Aaron didn’t come through as promised and Ashley has written me off over choosing responsibilities. My boyfriend said to speak to both of them and express what I am feeling to see what happens. I was able to resolve things with Aaron and come to a mutual understanding. However when I reached out to Ashley, she said she is on a high and doesn’t want to deal with this right now. She is making new friends and would like to clarify that I am no longer her best friend. She will listen to me when I talk but that’s about it. In my eyes that is a therapist not a friend and I already pay someone for that.
Am I wrong if I decide I don’t want to fix things with Ashley? Is she right for deciding I am not worthy of actual friendship?

Edit: If I‘m asking too much for my budget, would it be possible to have a build that cuts corners at some places right now, but can be easily upgraded in the future? Also, I think I could maybe stretch to 1300€ if it makes a big difference.
Also, I have zero qualms with b-ware or refurbished, as long as I can be sure it works well. Especially Monitors seem to be available for much less if they are b-ware.

**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

Programming: Godot and Lua for Roblox. I‘ll be doing 2d and 3d.
3d modeling/animation: Blender and/or BforArtists
Gaming: Modded Minecraft, Fortnite, Roblox, Subnautica, Hollow Knight, Rain World, Risk of Rain, Baldurs Gate 3, potentially some other AAA games (not the poorly optimised Bethesda kind)
Music Production: ultraabox.github.io, but also a bit more professional software in the future, like FL Studio.
Linux: Well mainly just figuring out how it works ig

**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

1000€, maybe a hundred more

**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

August of this year.

**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

The full package, so PC, (2k) Monitor, Keyboard, Mouse and speakers.

**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

Germany, Nordrhein-Westfalen.

**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

I have some good bluetooth headphones (they‘re kinda loud though, so I‘ll still need some speakers)
Other than that, nothing, but like I said, I‘m very much open to b-ware and refurbished or if necessary used.

**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

Probably not, no.

**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

1TB storage, 32GB RAM (Or, if those two dont fit into the budget then the possibility to easily upgrade, everything you need for Dual Booting (Linux and Windows), WLAN and Bluetooth connectivity for my headphones (It might be possible to connect my headphones through the speakers though).

**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

I‘m just looking to get the max performance out of my budget :D

**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

I‘ll get that myself, thanks.

**Extra info or particulars:**

I‘d like this build to be one you can upgrade over the years, so AM5 would be nice. You can go a bit over more budget with some parts, as there are good B-Ware sales in my country (ex: new RTX 3060 for 220€). I definitely don’t want to cheap out on things like the PSU, but I also don’t care about brand or look as long as it works well.
As mentioned, I‘ll be dual booting Linux and Windows, due to things like Fortnite not working for Linux.
From what I gathered so far, 1080p would be ideal for my build. But I also don’t need crazy framerates, and I do very much care about the visual quality (contrast, colours etc.).
I think I already settled for my speakers, that being the Creative Pebble Plus or Pro, depending on how much money is left at the end. But if anyone knows something better, I‘d be happy to know!
Thanks in advance!
I‘m really looking forward to this :D

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I traded a motorcycle for another motorcycle. I went to the DMV and started the transfer of the title to my name. For them to call back a few days later saying there was a date error and they will need a notorized bill of sale now. Then for me to find out the guy who traded me was not the name on the title. I contacted the guy who traded me. He is not cooperating, wants to trade back, claimingl lied to him about the bike traded him (so far everything he's claimed is Stuff clearly stated to him in text and the description). He is also saying the original guy on the title is related to him and he has contact. Last week he said they where going to go to the DMV on their own and get a title back for the bike. My DMV I talked to said this is not possible at another Missouri DMV as it is stuck in limbo transferring to me but they might be able to in Illinois. Me and The original guy on the title live in Missouri, guy I traded it from lives in llinois. At this point he has turned the original guy on the title against me it sounds. His latest message he is threatening to bring the cops and take his bike back and give me my original. If it comes down it it i will do it but would prefer to keep it the way it is and get a title.

This is for a steampunk-inspired fantasy world where people can manipulate a magical metal called quicksteel at will.
Introduction
While “No Man’s Land” is considered a desert frontier by most, it has been the home of a native population for centuries: The neksut nomads. The neksut travel from oasis to oasis, riding horses and herding sheep and other animals. Though some Neksut have fearsome reputations as warriors, the neksut way of life is under threat from foreign settlers, most of whom see the as unsophisticated.
Recreation
Though outsiders will confidently claim the neksut have no arts to speak of (or even no culture at all), in truth the desert riders have rich musical and storytelling traditions. The neksut are great lovers of song, specializing in throaty chants. Singing is often heard while the tribe is on horseback or around the camp at night, and is typically collaborative, with a lead singer being echoed by several others. The most famous songs are epic historical and mythical tales, such as The Stone Men, Ballad of the Besieger, and Death of Pulcros. Musical instruments include string and woodwind devices, carved from wood and richly decorated.
However perhaps the greatest neksut art is quicksmithing itself. Manipulating quicksteel is vital to the nomads’ way of life, allowing them to effortlessly convert carts into temporary dwellings and back again. But with excess metal, neksut quicksmiths (called shapers in their language) often create temporary sculptures that will be deconstructed when the tribe moves on. Such sculptures are very abstract, often embodying the mood or state of the tribe at the time of construction. To the neksut, the impermanence of this art represents the transient nature of their way of life and of life itself.
Food
The neksut diet is heavily dictated by their nomadic lifestyle, and is fittingly dominated by the products of domesticated animals, principally horses and sheep. Milk is the most important element, and is drank as well as made into cheese, yogurt, or a dry powder. These dairy products are paired with meat from either domestic sheep or from hunted jackalopes or roastritches. Contrary to popular belief, the neksut do not eat their horses, save in rare cases when an animal dies or is too old to keep up with the tribe. Such animals are far too valuable as mounts and sources of milk to be consumed, and in fact an idiom meaning “eating one’s horse” is a neksut expression for one who has not thought things through.
Vegetables and spices (save for salt) are relatively scarce in much of the central desert and thus are scarce in the neksut diet as well. However the nomads make great use of what ingredients they have in a wide variety of dairy and meat meals. Seasoned jackalope jerky with cheese, shredded mutton over yogurt, and roastritch stew are typical. These meals are supplemented with redleaf, roastritch eggs, and whatever foreign ingredients can be traded for. While their cuisine is typically somewhat plain on account of their transient nature, the neksut can put on impressive feasts for special occasions, such as weddings or celebrations. In these cases the traditional meal is the so-called “yogurt table,” in which each participant is given a bowl of yogurt to pair with dozens of small dishes which are passed amongst the tribe.
Gender and Marriage
The neksut are relatively egalitarian in terms of gender. Two reasons for this may be due to their heavy reliance on horses and quicksmithing for their way of life; Mares are actually far superior mounts to stallions (due to their smaller size and milk), and the necessity for quicksmithing to set up camps and carts means that female quicksmiths cannot be disregarded, as all hands are needed. Thus neksut women can be warriors, chieftains, and shamans, with Salaris the Sandstorm and Mist-Eyes being prominent examples. However outside of these important roles, their still is a gendered division of labor in most tribes. Neksut often marry outside the tribe, with young men and women being sent to other tribes as dictated by shamans.
Government
Neksut governance is divided between chieftains and shamans. Chieftains lead tribes from one oasis to another, ultimately ending their journey at a religious site. Shamans oversee religious sites and help select the next route taken by the passing tribes, coordinating movements between different tribes so that resources are given time to replenish. The balance of power between these two roles has varied over time, though currently shamans seemingly hold the dominant role. Shamans serve an important logistical purpose in organizing the travels of tribes and arranging marriages, but they also act as culture repositories, with the shared language, history, and customs of the neksut likely owing to the shamans’ influence. Thus the Neksut are considered one culture and not a dozen.
Religion
Though their mythology purports to explain the origins of humanity, the first mentions of the neksut in the historical record dates to the aftermath of the Great Dying. Some scholars have suggested that the neksut might share common ancestry with some of the people of Tolmika, noting common elements between neksut religion and the Faith of the Heeders.
Neksut religion is centered around the earth and the sky. According to their mythology, the desert was originally a paradise that was the birthplace of the first humans, the Stone Men, who were the children of the earth and the sky. These children crafted a vast civilization from the abundant resources, living like gods for centuries. But over time they forgot their place, abusing the land and ignoring the sky. Eventually, the parents punished their offspring; The earth sent forth earthquakes and eruptions, while the sky whipped up duststorms and withheld the rain. The paradise transformed into the great desert, and most of the children died or fled, leaving their civilization to crumble. But one child, “Neksut”, remained and resolved to repent by living off the land even in these harsh conditions, slaying his fellow stone men. The neksut trace their origins to this figure. They see their own lifestyle as a continuation of that repentance, and view other civilizations as a recreation of their ancestor’s mistakes.

hi guys i’m currently doing a business admin level 3 apprenticeship with lifetime and i am as the title says nearing my gateway.. 27th june is the date..
im slightly nervous.. i haven’t started my project yet so i am trying to complete the learning plan and portfolio so i can focus in that at the start of june as i discussed with my tutor
i dont know when my exams will be but i need to go back over all the stuff for the multiple choice and prepare myself for a presentation on the project (which i haven’t started) and an interview in the portfolio !
any advise or tips would be greatly appreciated !

Just need a little to cover expenses until my next pay date. Willing to provide proof of pay.

Hello there
I’m just really looking for any experience similar to mine, in 2019 I was awarded standard daily living and standard mobility with a review due last May. Sent the AR1 back in June 23, with all changes at that time listed - all received by DWP.
Between then and end of march this year things changed quite drastically so I decided to type up a letter to DWP and send it in with what has changed. The very same day I sent it, I got my assessment appointment through for end of April.
Got through that, explained everything as well as possible and also explained that the now 10 month old AR1 was only relevant for some of the issues, so went through the new too. Assessment report is fine, no issues and shows a recommended move up to Enhanced DL and Mobility, which I half expected. The only thing I would say is the short review date of 1.5 years, but isn’t that extended to 2.5 award end date, that’s just when the review period starts?
Text message from DWP says
“About your PIP review. The health professional has sent us their report. We will make a decision on your PIP, but it may take 6 weeks before you hear from us. You will continue to get PIP while your award is being reviewed. You only need to contact us if your circumstances change.”
But now how long do we REALLY wait, does anything get backdated (not too worried about that as the timeline for degenerative illness is so varied) lack of patience is possibly one of my worst traits, I’m doing all I can to stop sitting stewing over it but I’m also a natural born worrier! I understand the delays are huge, but any insight would be incredibly helpful and appreciated!
Cheers in advance

My heart
what I have held sheltered
and I exposed just to reshelter
Now reinforcing what I opened to you
3 miles that way before you get in
The one thing that I’ve always wanted
Just beat me down and leave for dead
words they can hurt us
Imbedded with dread
Surrounded by chaos I grew up in this climate
Love more precious brilliance like dimonds
So I looked for loving instead of the decay on replay
But because of this head who grew up and threw up
From my favorite elixirs my very own mixers
Helped me escape from this nightmare ish dimension I fled
Guarded mask wearing multiple layers every person he met
The very few times and I mean few 1+1 I’m on two
im not kidding I lived regretting ever wasting my time
Letting my sentimental inclined see that type of mind
So indo pretty well keeping distance from L the first time I fell.
I would not wish that on my worst of enemies,
I desired KMS anything that could help
I dated multiple women nurses models artists dreamers actress schemers
someone like me I took my chance instead
but God she made me red from all that i bled
Sabotage hesitancy should say something
or is she trying to make it look like i have abandonment issue
or say that its just it not you and dismiss you.
I can be all that is needed
But my questions repeated “can you? “ be all that I need….
You see I’m that kind of bastard
I’ve healed learned and become so enamored with happily ever after.
If you hurt don’t worry I go after me for being epically stupid
IQ to a nuisance
Why did you Effing do this.
Wealth of knowledge but the man in the mirror looks & sorta feels stupid.
I can’t afford slips fuckups and miss targets from one damaged winged cupid
Trying to never lose it calculate my own acumen that this won’t mean doom end.
captured cherished love me forever stuck in my head.
It’s true that’s why I can be so serious play off no stepping near to us (my body my person my thoughts
my person if I fall in love please don’t kill me
I dread I usually push people away I’ve dated over 35 women
I woke up look at my phone open Reddit and read…
This is the thing that I want so much
since a kid I was crushed so I had girlfriend after girlfriend instead
But none of them could, maybe one of them can.
The problem still stands most of the woman nowadays have so many secrete demands/ hidden agendas, looking to be loved but don’t know how to show love
Narcissistically bred a post made me sit up shot me bullseye 🎯 center right in the red.

On Feb. 9, 2022, I officially became "Homeless" on state record and applied for rent and housing assistance in Knoxville through KCDC/Section 8.
Per today's date:
Zeitraum = 825 days aka 27.123 months. This is exactly the length of time I've been surviving homeless.
It wasn't until THIS YEAR that my name "officially" has gone from being on their "PRE-waiting list": aka the long-ass waiting list you're on BEFORE graduating to the "OFFICIAL" waiting list.
*Btw, no one informed me of this being their process. I waited for many hopeful months while living out of my car, waiting to be called that I contacted them to get the news of only being on the PRE-waiting list- List. Good shit...
So, I decided to visit KCDC in-person last week to speak to them about my still pending status and ask if there were any actions I could take to help my chances of having a place to call home...
FYI: The Broadway location is ONLY for applying to any of their listed complexes. Unfortunately, ALL their waiting lists are also completely full.
*The Harriet Tubman location is for applying or relating to receiving vouchers for financial rental assistance.
FYI: you can ONLY APPLY for a voucher between their generous hours of 8AM-3PM only on the 2nd WED of each month, just fyi for any new applicants.
All I was told at each location was to "continue waiting" and that I would one day be contacted whenever my name came up.
The housing costs in Knoxville, especially have risen quickly dramatically even since when I very first began applying and they'll continue this trend.
**BTW, they're SHUTTING DOWN our Homeless Shelter on Broadway due to a LACK OF FUNDING (good timing), so yet another option we can all cross off our lists of any places to lie our heads down at night.
Pretty ironic that TN is the FREAKING VOLUNTEER STATE, considering... "GO VOLS", am I right??
See news link here: https://www.wate.com/news/knox-county-news/the-foyer-a-low-barrier-knoxville-homeless-shelter-set-to-close-as-officials-seek-new-operato
Oh yeah, HOMELESSNESS IN TN is also now a CLASS E FELONY!
*You are automatically disqualified from receiving public assistance such as Section 8 and SNAP benefits unless you've fully paid off ALL FEES (up to $3,000 for being homeless) and have fully completed your probation period! *KEEPING THINGS REALLY CLASSY, TN! 😜 (Also, you can't sleep in your vehicle at any rest stops, either. Also illegal. You can sit there in your car for only 3hrs max.)
"In Tennessee, felonies are classified from A to E, with Class A being the most serious and Class E being the least severe. A Class E felony in Tennessee is the lowest level of felony. It includes offenses such as theft of property valued at $1,000 to $2,500, certain driving offenses like third or subsequent DUI offenses, stalking, and forgery. The typical punishments for Class E felonies in Tennessee include: 1. One to six years of imprisonment (PRISON TIME, not jail), and/or 2. Fines up to $3,000. (Also, just pointing out that with any Class E felonies, being the "least" serious felony, if any fines for the offense are deemed as "unspecified" in their books, they then have the capability to charge an offender up to $50,000.)
However, these punishments can vary based on a variety of factors such as the exact nature of the crime, whether or not the defendant has a prior criminal record, and other relevant factors considered by the court." See specifics here: https://codes.findlaw.com/tn/title-40-criminal-procedure/tn-code-sect-40-35-111/
Covertly, they've named this abomination as the:
"Equal Access to Public Property Act of 2012.” Makes it sound so helpful and positive for us, doesn't it? Thanks, guys! LOL!
See below what all is covered, including: **If they happen to search and find any of your stored belongings (likely being at times literally their entire life's possessions, including if they find you've stored your food somewhere) the police will immediately confiscate it, and then you will have a total of 90 days to go to them and claim all your belongings or else they'll consider it as "abandoned property". You must detail exactly where on the property that they found your items, so that they then will slap you with a Class E Felony, charge you a "holding fee" for whatever amount of time they "stored" it for you, also stating that "the court shall include an order of restitution for any property damage or loss incurred as a result" of you or your belongings being present on the state property. But hey, at least you get your items back!
https://law.justia.com/codes/tennessee/2021/title-39/chapter-14/part-4/section-39-14-414/#:~:text=It%20is%20an%20offense%20for,agency%20responsible%20for%20the%20land.
My Story: (if you've made it this far and give any shits about hearing it for the sake of context.)
Around 1 year-deep into the COVID-19 pandemic, I had been living in an expensive house centered in the North Knox Historic District, working FT at a job I'd spent the past few yrs diligently climbing their ladder, and splitting the house payment with my then, Fiancee of 5 1/2 yrs. He began dating a different girl, had moved her into our house, while stating that "If I didn't stop being depressed, he was going to kick me out". Unfortunately, the house had been put solely in his name when bought. You see, my grandmother had just passed from COVID-19, my childhood best friend had just passed away, and I had been informed suddenly that my 84yrs-old dementia-ridden Father was getting worse and also nearing his last days. Not long after, my older sister contacted me acting upset, stating that he now needed to be on continual watch for FT care, so I packed my things, left my fiancee and my then home and moved in to care for my late father. Eventually, I had to leave my job to fulfill my caretaking duties but I don't regret being there for my father but it grew to be very difficult times, as it was for many those yrs. Dad passed away Jan. 31, 2022. My mother immediately inherited the house at his death, per their messy divorce agreement many yrs before. She so graciously left no time after me literally watching him take his very last breath in the bedroom down the hall from my own for her to serve me immediate eviction papers, now forcing me to leave the home that I grew up with my father in, while being raised. This house, I had only 1 year previous, agreed to my mother and sister when they had requested this of me, quit my long-term, FT job, losing all my sources of income in order to live with and solitary care for my father. (Everyone else- meaning my mother and 3 sisters -were all "too busy" to help me out or give even short breaks. I'm informing you of this, so that anyone that ever says to themselves, "why don't they just go live with family", can comprehend how that's not an actual option for everyone, so when the systems are failing, ppl aren't always on the streets or living out of their cars bc of drug problems or laziness or whatever other common misconceptions I've heard from ppl that are limited in grasping these situations for others. That last month that he was still alive, they all "forbade" me from leaving the house at all nor having any visitors "for his health", despite my deep despair from watching his health ferociously decline, resulting in my very rapidly declining mental health and massive weight-loss and over-exhaustion. Upon receiving my eviction notice, I then immediately began applying for Section 8 assistance. I had no one left and nowhere to go. It's like this for a lot of people. Don't assume ppl always have any other options available, is my point of giving so much backstory. Not exactly trying to "victimize" myself here for pity. I'm strong, I've got this. Just trying to get some points across for when you judge another's situation that you don't know.
Ok, here's the last I'll say about all this. Just humor me and try to consider what I'm pointing out here.
Every single one of us local TN natives have seen through the years how various homeless individuals will bravely step into some of our favorite local diners, gas stations, retail stores, etc. Them, asking employees permissions for maybe utilizing a restroom, some cold water or a drink, often after them walking around most the day (shelter kicks everyone out once it's morning), often after being in our unforgiving weather or high temps. Sometimes, they're asking even for a small bite to eat or leftovers from the kitchen. SO MANY times throughout the years, we've all been standing by, as we witness some enraged employee or the manager angrily decline, followed with often loud threats of calling the cops on them, etc in an attempt to motivate them to not come back asking later, as now they see how many of their annoyed paying customers are actively shaking their heads and shaming their whole interaction with rotten looks of disgust.
I mean after all, our businesses ABSOLUTELY can't be taking any risks of "losing their dedicated customers, just BC some "lazy bums" keep showing up, "always asking for free handouts" and "scaring away our business".
Really, it's best to just not give them anything in the 1st place cus ya know, just like strays, they'll "just keep showing back up"...
Right?
Excluding sometimes a random kind individual's exception, for the most part this mindset I'm highlighting here has most often worked as an sorta unspoken "Golden Rule" when we're relating to how we'll decidedly "handle" our large and growing homeless population.
Now that our housing prices have fully skyrocketed, with increases markedly on the rise almost immediately after the COVID-19 Pandemic that left so many of us without income that was supporting our access to necessities. Many, many "middle-class" individuals who were previously working averaging their 5 days/week (ty past labor strikes enforcing our allowance of 2 days off) and living comfortably on their 40hrs/week paychecks are currently struggling to find availability and also afford even a 1br ran-down apartment in our "lower-class" neighborhoods. Most are now working multiple jobs trying to keep up, and childcare isn't offered for free, so it keeps everyone from having opportunities to not only spend time raising their children vs random strangers who are also overworked, but how can you save money when you're losing part of what you earn, just to be able to go to work and not be fully abandoning your children to fend for themselves if left home alone?
Often, homeless ppl can be seen all throughout our city, and guaranteed to be growing in mass numbers when inching closer toward that underpass leading up to the Historic Gay St./Downtown/UT campus/Cumberland Strip. *It's really fairly ironic I've thought, how so much of our income has always been made/spent here, however we're required each time, to first drive through the huge crowd of terribly unfortunate ppl left standing without their bare necessities, often left to sleep outside the packed shelter when it hits capacity, which is always a guarantee. They're not left outside strictly bc they're "on drugs", like a lot have been led to believe.
Lastly, but oh of such an amazing relevance-
**Here's some realism surrounding our cultures' universally pre-conceived (disconnected/egotistical and mis-informed), accepted stigma that states the following phrase:
"These ppl just won't get a job bc they're SO LAZY and just want to live off all us hard-working American's tax dollars...blah blah blah.." Employers won't hire if you don't have an address and the shelters fail to deliver anyone's incoming mail, nor do businesses want to hire a homeless person showing up without proper hygiene or attire or any kind of criminal record. Also, transportation is a bitch. KAT bus costs money, and is very limited on its area services. By walking such lengthy distances, not only can your safety be at risk (especially for Females or any shifts beginning or letting out after dark) but you're gonna be super sweaty and gross by the time you actually arrive to then work a full shift, if you can even somehow make it on time every day by walking for hours before and then after every single shift that you show for.
This isn't any kinda "new" issue for the poor, btw. Don't be such heartless fools, making someone else's situation about "you".
Life's realities can forcibly humble an individual, catching us off-guard for what we'll often end up facing. Always count your blessings and never assume you know anything about anyone else's struggles or how they got there. We're all just trying to survive in this place.
Thanks for reading and hopefully this info helps bring insight to whomever reads this. Good luck out there, I mean it. We got this. ❤️

Joselow, Maxine. The Washington Post; Washington, D.C.. 14 May 2024: A.18.
​
Move aimed at punishing Moscow and boosting domestic nuclear sector
President Biden on Monday evening signed a bipartisan bill prohibiting Russian imports of enriched uranium, the main fuel used by nuclear power plants, a move intended to cut off one of the last significant flows of money from the United States to Russia amid the war in Ukraine.
Congress took swift action to ban Russian oil and gas imports a month after the February 2022 invasion of Ukraine. But sanctions on uranium imports have taken much longer, in part because Russia supplies roughly 20 percent of U.S. nuclear fuel, leading some lawmakers to fear disruptions to the nation's 93 nuclear reactors.
"It's kind of ridiculous that it took as long as it did to get to this stage," said Scott Melbye, executive vice president of mining company Uranium Energy and president of the Uranium Producers of America, a trade group. "But we're just glad that we got here."
American companies pay around $1 billion a year for enriched uranium from Rosatom, Russia's state nuclear power conglomerate. These payments have continued even after documents revealed last year that Rosatom had been working to supply the Russian arms industry with components, technology and raw materials for missile fuel.
The bipartisan bill will ban uranium imports from Moscow beginning 90 days after its enactment. It will provide waivers until 2028 for utilities that would be forced to shut down nuclear reactors once Russian supplies are cut off. The bill also frees up $2.7 billion passed in previous legislation to build out the domestic uranium processing industry.
"This new law reestablishes America's leadership in the nuclear sector," national security adviser Jake Sullivan said in a statement Monday. "It will help secure our energy sector for generations to come."
The bill passed the House in December, but it had stalled for months in the Senate, where Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) had blocked the measure over unrelated disputes. In a development that surprised some observers, Cruz dropped his opposition last month, and the measure then passed the Senate by unanimous consent, meaning no senators objected to it.
"Russia's chokehold on America's uranium supply is coming to an end," Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.), a bill sponsor, said on the Senate floor on Wednesday. "[Russian President Vladimir] Putin's war machine has now lost one of its cash cows. America is finally starting to take back our nuclear energy security as well as our energy future."
Officials at the Energy Department and the National Security Council had discussed the possibility of taking executive action to ban Russian uranium imports if Congress did not act, Bloomberg News reported.
Biden has set an ambitious goal of reaching 100 percent clean electricity by 2035. Nuclear reactors generate more than half of emissions-free electricity in the United States, and supporters say they can play a key role in the country's transition away from fossil fuels.
Yet the U.S. nuclear power industry has recently faced financial challenges, including spiraling costs of the new modular designs it is testing. Those difficulties may continue even after companies are no longer reliant on imported uranium.
The United States' dependence on Russian uranium dates back to a 1993 nuclear disarmament program soon after the Cold War ended. Under the program, dubbed Megatons to Megawatts, the United States bought 500 metric tons of uranium from dismantled Russian nuclear warheads and converted it to nuclear reactor fuel.
At the time, many policymakers in Washington hailed the deal as a win-win: Moscow got desperately needed cash in exchange for giving U.S. utilities cheap fuel and placating arms-control advocates. But today, some experts say the program had the unintended consequence of delivering such inexpensive Russian fuel that U.S. and European companies struggled to compete.
More than two years after Russia invaded Ukraine, the United States largely lacks its own uranium enrichment capacity. The nuclear energy company TerraPower, which was founded by Bill Gates, has been forced to delay the opening of a new nuclear plant by at least two years, in part because it has pledged not to use Russian enriched uranium.
The new legislation could help. It unlocks $2.7 billion in funding for domestic uranium enrichment that Congress conditionally approved in a spending bill last year.
The funding could allow the company Centrus to expand its enrichment facility in Ohio with "thousands of additional centrifuges to replace Russian imports with American production," spokeswoman Lindsey Geisler said in an email.
Jeff Navin, director of external affairs for TerraPower, which has signed an agreement with Centrus to collaborate on fueling its Natrium reactor in Wyoming, said in an email that the funding is "expected to spur job creation, technological advancement and boost the U.S. nuclear industry's global competitiveness."
In August, Biden established a new national monument near the Grand Canyon, putting the site off-limits to future uranium mining. The move did not affect an existing uranium mine owned by Energy Fuels, which recently ramped up work as growing demand and global instability pushed uranium prices higher.
Though some environmentalists support nuclear power, others say there are cheaper options and have voiced concerns that the country lacks a long-term plan for storage of nuclear waste. Still others have warned that radioactive dust from uranium mining could contaminate the drinking water of nearby communities.
Asked about these concerns, Curtis Moore, senior vice president of marketing and corporate development at Energy Fuels, said modern environmental regulations have made uranium mining much safer over the last half-century. He said the company's mine near the Grand Canyon poses "zero" risk to water supplies.
"To oppose modern uranium mining is akin to opposing electric vehicles today because cars in the '50s didn't have seat belts," Moore said. "It's really shortsighted. Uranium is absolutely essential to the fight against climate change."

I have a 2015 sierra and a few weeks ago I notice my a/c wasn't getting as cold and quickly went to blowing hot air. The temp on my radio screen was stuck on 66° so I replaced the ambient air temp sensor behind the grill and my dash now accurately tells me what temp I'm cooking at inside the truck with no A/C. At this point I have checked the freon is full and the compressor is engaging but not even slightly cold air is coming through the vents. Blend doors all seem to be operating fine. A day or so after replacing the sensor behind the grill it finally triggered a P0073 CEL (supposedly interior ambient air temp but I can't find much info). I found a part for the 03-13 trucks and some videos saying there's a sensor above the headliner but after pulling overhead console there's nothing but a microphone up there and I can't seem to find any info on these trucks anywhere. Has anyone else had this issue or know where I might find the sensor supposedly giving me issues?
Tldr; can't find any climate control sensors besides the one behind the grill. Need help before I have a heat stroke.

There are many confusing facets to this case but none more perplexing to me than Wendi's alleged statement to Jeff on 7-13-14 that CA looked into hiring a hitman in the summer of 2013 after court rejected her relocation request. The focus of this post is not why Wendi made the statement. Rather, since Wendi denied under oath making the statement, it's whether she could be convicted of perjury by proving she made it.
The statement is "material" to the guilt or innocence of CA so it clears that hurdle for perjury. The judge makes this determination pre-trial, and Judge Everett himself said in CA trial that it's "not insignificant". If it could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt Wendi made the statement, then her adamant denial under oath of ever having made it would be perjury. Perjury in a capital felony case in Florida is a 2nd degree felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison. The State doesn't have to seek the death penalty for it to be a capital felony case. The Statute of Limitations is 3 years for a 2nd degree felony. Wendi denied making statement in both 2022 KM retrial and 2023 CA trial. Both are still within Statute of Limitations and she could be charged with 2 counts of perjury. If convicted of both counts, judge could order the two sentences to be served consecutively so she could get up to 30 years in prison.
So could Georgia prove beyond a reasonable doubt Wendi made the statement? If it's Jeff's word alone against Wendi's, the answer is probably not. The defense will likely argue Jeff believed Wendi had tried to frame him so he lied to get his revenge. Plus he didn't remember the date of her statement in his first police interview, and he also didn't mention the $15K in the first interview. It's a "he said, she said" situation. A guideline called the “two witness rule” derived from common law is usually invoked in perjury cases and says a person cannot be convicted for perjury solely on the word of a single witness. There has to be another witness or some other corroborating evidence. A judge might not let the case go to trial if the only evidence is Jeff's word, or if it does go to trial, the judge would probably include this rule in jury instructions. Bottom line is prosecution would likely need some solid corroborating evidence to secure a conviction.
Is there such evidence? It seems there might be. Here's what Jeff said during a proffer outside the presence of the jury as part of his cross-examination during the 2023 CA trial: Also I had repeated that statement to a friend of mine before the murder and didn't get a reaction from her that this is shocking. I sought feedback from a friend who verified I made that statement before the murder and she didn't say oh geez you should call the police so it wasn't just me. There was another person I consulted with because it freaked me out and we decided, well I decided after talking to her it was past tense so probably not that dangerous and we were really wrong. Maybe I should have called the police.
So who is this woman Jeff talked to before the murder? I don't believe we know her name. I looked at all of the names on the State's witness list for the CA trial and her name was not on it by process of elimination. I believe Jeff remembered this conversation before his first police interview on 7-21-14. How could he not? It had to have taken place 1 to 4 days before the July 18th murder. My guess is she told Jeff right after the murder that she didn't want him to tell the police about their conversation. Jeff no doubt described Charlie to her as a sociopath who he believed hired a hitman to kill Dan, and the woman probably worried Charlie might kill her too since her testimony would be very important in a future CA trial. Jeff is the type of guy who would agree to keep it secret. I think the woman gave Jeff the green light to mention their conversation some time right before or during CA trial when Charlie was behind bars and it was likely he would be convicted. My guess is she would now be willing to testify in a perjury case against Wendi.
My theory has a potential crack. Consider Jeff's response in KM's first trial in 2019 to a question from one of the defense attorneys as to whether he told a friend or family member about Wendi's statement: *I'm sure I did...*I just couldn't tell you who or when I did that but certainly after the murder occurred I certainly shared that with people. After I had told it to police I certainly discussed it - I may have done it before as well - I don't recall that - but after I told the police that I did share that with some people confidentially yes. Did Jeff lie under oath to protect his friend? Did he figure no way would prosecution charge him with perjury if the conversation came out at a later date?
I've been following this case for only about a month. Maybe I've missed something but, if this mystery woman is a credible witness, I think prosecution would have an excellent chance of convicting Wendi of perjury. I know many people think Georgia could get a perjury conviction for other statements (Trescott, celebration dinner, likes Tallahassee, etc) but I very much doubt it. IMO this is their best and only chance for a perjury conviction....and maybe a conviction of any kind. FWIW In a high profile case with some similarities to this one, prosecutors in Georgia initially charged Andrea Sneiderman with the murder of her husband but later dropped the charges and convicted her of perjury. My prediction: Georgia will charge Wendi with 2 counts of perjury some time before May 2025 in order to get in Wendi's denial at 2022 trial before 3 year Statute of Limitations prevents later prosecution. I don't know if State will charge Wendi with murder but wouldn't it be better if she already were a convicted felon at the time of her murder trial?

I don’t understand why this is taking so long. Why does it take a month or more to get switched from one department to another after reporting an accommodation? It took them 8 days to respond to me after I had initiated the accommodation and sent over the paperwork.
Every time I have sent over documents, or reach out to my case worker, they say it can take DLS 48 hours to respond, but so far it’s been 4 or 5 days to receive response from them and that’s only until I contact them first. My case manager said she would give me a week to correct an issue on my paperwork, I had it done and sent by the 2nd day. I waited a week and when I reached out they told me she had done nothing with this and it had to get pushed through by the rep I spoke to in chat. Now I get to wait another week or two for a response, and more time for a response from my facility.
My case manager has never replied to me in any email I’ve sent her, she has never called me back either. There is zero sense of urgency on my behalf to make sure I don’t become financially unstable. They have changed my case manager twice on me but never told me.
I do not get sent updates, I have to reach out in chat and ask what is going on and so far it’s been “they need X done”, but I don’t find out until days after the fact. They give me time limits but then fuck off when I’m waiting on them.
I’ve had to manually update my own medical leave twice now because no one did it for me after my first 7 days of fitness leave. Had I did nothing, my UPT would have been deducted. I had to contact them to remove my return to work date because I’m not able to work without my accommodations going through. I get automated responses telling me all of this will be taken care of, but it isn’t.
It is just bizarre how unorganized and insane this all is. I honestly expected more out of Amazon, this is just embarrassing on their behalf.

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or if I should give up on this unhappy marriage.

My bf and I have been dating for about 3 years and for the past 2 years I found out that he has been saving up sexy girls photo on his tiktok and insta. I brought it up to him saying I was quite upset that he has done this since I feel insecure about my own body because of that and asked if he can stop doing such thing. He promised he'd stop.
Fast forward, we have been staying together at my uni accommodation and I found out again he has been doing it again but using some other apps than just tiktok and insta. I brought it up to him again and asked him if he actually needed it, if so, I would've moved on and try to be more open-minded. He said he's sorry and would stop doing it again.
Today, I found out again that he has been doing it again. The time of the pics were saved were the times that I went to my lectures and when I was next to him.
Am i being unreasonable as a gf in regards to asking him to stop? What should I do? I know it is commonly done among boys and should I stop being upset about it and get over it.

I know it was your first relationship. At 28, you had already been through so much, having been on your own for 13 years. You were forced to grow up too fast, and had to prioritize yourself, building a life from nothing. I get it. It was your fierce independence that made me fall for you in the first place.
I always knew that trying to build a life with you was going to be a struggle. I thought it would be worth it, for both of us. You deserve to have someone in your corner, that always has your back. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t know if you believed the same.
I think I gave up too much of myself for you. Was that my mistake or yours? Did you really ask for too much, or did I give too freely without expectation for anything in return? Maybe both. Probably more on me. I’m not perfect by a long shot.
Compromise. It really does all come down to that. I tried to show you its importance, but in the process I ended up being the only one willing to do it. Me getting to pick what movie we watched or getting to plan a date became something I only got to do on special occasions. You said you felt like you didn’t know me, but so many times in so many ways I offered up little pieces of me to you. I share myself by sharing the things I love with the people I love. But more and more towards the end, all you’d say was “no”. Ignoring any context. Ignoring those pieces of me.
I know you don’t like movies about kids. I know asking to watch Home Alone during Christmas was a big ask. But it was a tradition that I shared with my dad, who I lost just over a year before. I know you think that traditions are pointless, but it was important to me. My earliest memories are of that. I needed to continue on, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. I needed you there, your support. It was such a small gesture I was asking of you, but all I got was “no”. Instead we watched a movie you picked: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. A movie made by the exact same people that made Home Alone, and with even more kids.
We wanted to go to Ireland. Personally I’ve been wanting to go for years, but couldn’t because of my dad’s illness along with everything else going on. You knew that in the last 3 years I lost all of my grandparents, two uncles, my dad. I couldn’t risk going so far away for so long while everyone was sick. My mom saw me giving up the latter half of my 20s for my family, when she was hoping I would be enjoying life and seeing the world. That’s why she was happy to give us the money to have the trip of our dreams. I explained all of this to you while you were struggling to find a way to save for the trip. All my mom wanted in return was a single nice photo of us. That wasn’t even a requirement for the money. She just wanted to see me with the person that I love making our dreams come true. I know you hate having your picture taken. The only attention your dad ever gave you was when he wanted to test a new camera. It’s a trauma trigger. But I was only asking for one picture. You’d compromise for your friends, you’d compromise for your sister. You’d take pictures with them. Why wouldn’t you compromise for your partner, and the other most important person in your partners life? After a year, we have 3 pictures together, none of which are very good. I know that I was asking for a lot, but I felt so less important than everyone else in your life. Maybe you felt that as your partner, I was to be held to a higher standard? I honestly don’t know. All you said was “no”.
You admitted yourself I was so supportive. I always prioritized you. From always making your tea before mine, to giving you the better looking plate at dinner, to planting all of your favorite flowers in my garden. I always complemented you, how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how driven and independent you are. Your friend needed a ride to a 5k and someone to cheer them on? I was there. You needed someone to drive you around while your car was in the shop for 2 months? No problem. Accidentally overdrew your account again, and you couldn’t afford the late fees? Here’s $50. Need to move on short notice? I’m the guy tearing apart and moving your furniture. You have a migraine so bad you can’t eat? I’m bringing you pedialyte and sleeping on your couch, even though I didn’t actually get any sleep. I learned all your rituals so not to trigger your OCD. There are countless other examples. I never said no. I never complained. You rarely said so much as “thank you”.
The big one. The thing that ended us. You’re right, we did sit down like adults time and time again and talked things out. You said you needed me to anticipate your needs. You’d get overwhelmed, and couldn’t articulate what you needed from me. You couldn’t stand being asked what you needed. You just needed me to start helping. “Mental loads” and all that. I took that to heart. But I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’d miss the mark. Tried to support you, but in the wrong way. Even in my failures I showed effort, but you never seemed to see that. You only focused on how I failed.
We recognized that this was a problem caused by both of us. The communication wasn’t getting through. But I had already adapted to your communication style as much as I could. My exited, rambling, almost impulsive way of generating ideas became slow, methodical, thoughtful. I put intention behind everything so not to overwhelm you. I learned not to jump at the obvious solution.
Yes, we sat down like adults and talked things over time and time again. You told me what you needed from me, but I also told you what I needed from you. If I was missing the mark, please just guide me to what you needed. I’m not a mind reader. I did it for you all the time. You were honestly awful at anticipating my needs too. If I was venting, had a bad day, all you’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. So I had to show you how I needed support. I just needed you to do the same for me. “No”. Again.
One final time, I sent you words of support when you were having a bad day. It wasn’t enough, you wanted more. A phone call? For me to come over so you could vent in person? Did you actually want me to directly help for once? I don’t know. You never told me. Instead of guiding me to what you needed, you immediately shut down. Full silent treatment. I’ve been in abusive relationships where the silent treatment was welded as a weapon. I know you didn’t mean it in an abusive way, you were just overwhelmed again. But I never expected it from you. I didn’t see it for what it was. I only ever asked one thing from you to save us. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I wasn’t even asking you to put in effort on my behalf, it was for your benefit. I begged you time and time again for help. To communicate. Not to put it all on me, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But instead, you did the opposite.
You said that you felt like you were putting more effort into the relationship than I was. I’m sorry, but I can’t see that effort. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t. Maybe you mean you put effort into forgiving me every time I messed up? Maybe you mean that you were always planning dates, always picking what we watched, where we went, what we ate, what we drank? Again, mental loads and such. But I had things that I wanted to do and share with you that you always turned down. You only had to plan everything after my plans were rejected. It would have been more efficient for you to show love, patience, and compromise.
And then you left.