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So I had the intention of writing this for some time. I will give a brief rundown of my relationship to Wikipedia, but that is not necessary for the main point of my opinion.
The main point is that while Wikipedia has a quantitative superiority, qualitatively Encyclopedia Britannica is superior. The specific trigger that motivated me to write this was when I was looking up articles on Johannes Gutenberg.
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Johannes-Gutenberg
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johannes_Gutenberg
I will not delve on the specific qualities of clarity and intention behind the writing in the Britannica article as compared to Wikipedia's, but I think it is evident if one reads the Wikipedia one first and the Britannica after.
It so much more tailored for what a 'reader' expects to get from the text. Wikipedia seems to be not written with a conception of what the readers 'must get'. It is made up of bland information. It doesn't try to touch the reader, it is lifeless. Reading the Wikipedia's article, the aspects of the story, of the biography, don't stick in the mind. Just blobs of timid reporting, holding hands with the reference latched to it.
When you read it, even the most 'well written' ones, with gold or silver stars and so on, it seems nothing gets through seamlessly.
This probably stems from not giving authority to an authoritative authoeditor to make their decision on what to leave out and what to put in. The article referenced was written by a specific man Hellmut E. Lehmann-Haupt and by the editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. So the Wikipedia editor may feel like it's too much work to 'encroach' in other contribuitions and remake the whole text to be more 'proper'.
I also wanted to write this, because there is a pervasive good will towards Wikipedia everywhere, specially on the internet. Searching on this subreddit, I couldn't find any similar opinion. Except from more academic proficient folk, I almost hear no suspicion, scepticism or hesitation towards Wikipedia on these levels (quality of writing/quality of knowledge/quality of what makes a good encyclopedia article).
Now with that out of the way, my relationship with Wikipedia, which is not required reading. First, I was positive towards it, in my teens. I read a blogger which had good opinions about it. In his youth he would say he looked with glowing eyes to the Barsa encyclopedia. And when Wikipedia arrived, with its aura of freedom of information and thought of the new internet, he liked it. He liked the way it functioned, with a peer network anyone could participate to deliberate on what should be done, what policies should exist and when it should be enforced in this or that way. Politically, he made metaphors on how politics could work more like that, with direct democracy being a possible horizon to go towards.
So I used Wikipedia in this period, until the next epoch of my attitude towards Wikipedia, in this naive way. Not looking up the sources, just reading the summary phrases in the article; not realizing what sources were allowed or not (and the implication this has on a correct assessment, to reach the truth). But I did read some discussions between editors in some articles.
Amusing disputes, where policies were cited left and right and long discussions followed on the correct application of said policies. A little bit of cynicism started to be picked up by me, regarding who won the disputes and how and why.
Anyway, my second contact with differing inclinations towards Wikipedia was brought by Nathan Rich, by some videos of his on his Youtube channel. In some videos, he shows the bias of The New York Times, and of Wikipedia, all regarding China. This made it patent to me that media can be biased, in subtle ways, which when you are properly on the know (with the 'They Live' glasses on your nose) in very unsubtle and laughable ways.
The disputes on Wikipedia could be won if a relentless enough editor kept at it, almost like a lawyer; or better, similar to how a judge can, in weighting the interests and rights of opposing parties, sway either way according with its moral/ideological inclinations.
This view of judges grew out of watching American contract law lectures by Yale University, available on Youtube, which gave me a sense on how there is a lot of gray area in deciding the 'common good'. And lectures and books by Ian Shapiro, also from Yale and available on Youtube, which showed me a biased judge which subtly had defended a member of the capitalist class, using legal justification which passes as good enough for the system, despite being arguably not in accordance with the law, according with Shapiro's judgment.
Anyway, the next epoch of big blocks of views I was exposed to, was from the Youtube videos of BadEmpanada ('The Holodomor Genocide Question: How Wikipedia Lies to You' by BadEmpanada). He showed also how Wikipedia articles can be biased. They almost certainly are regarding political matters, where there is concentrated interest in swaying public opinion and forming a status quo of consent and hovering consensus. The references allowed, western 'free press', are heavily biased. Noam Chomsky and the other guy's Manufacturing of Consent became clear in my mind. There was no free press. Journalism wasn't a glamorous endeavor, with the pen of justice and truth as its symbol. It is a clown show, for the most part.
BadEmpanada showed the efforts put in bot farms and manual troll farms to create a specific consensus of what is and is not common sense (I did not find the video now). In particular, the efforts of the country of [You may not have "" in your post body.] (now I think I may have that word in the post; the country is Israel), also on Wikipedia if I am not incorrect. Creating task forces to 'litigate' on the Talk section.
Another contact was with the video 'How Wikipedia Got Ex Machina (2014) Wrong' by Shaun. The author has a positive outlook towards Wikipedia, but points out another fault in qualitative quality of the writing. There is also a right wing (libertarian) channel with a video criticizing Wikipedia, which is the only video I agree after watching a couple later.
More recently, yesterday, I entered another epoch. 'Wikipedia Donations Exposed. The Truth.' by Logically Answered, put Nupedia vs Wikipedia on the spotlight, and it makes it clear Wikipedia only 'won' because of numeric advantage, outputting more articles. That Wikipedia has articles other Encyclopedias don't have, well ok; that is not my point, good for Wikipedia I guess. And Wikipedia shennanigans on how it asks for money, and how the money is not spent to improve the aspects of the quality of writing, just adds to all this unpopular opinion.
In conclusion, wikipedia is too highly regarded, with at most some criticism about how it is not a 'source' in itself, but none about the qualities which make an encyclopedia article good as an encyclopedia article. The criticism seems to rest mostly on the bias regarding political/social articles, and how one should approach the references. But there is a general sense that despite that, with the right approach, it is a good resource to learn about a subject. My disagreement is regarding that; as a learning tool, it is often ignored how lacking in intention the writing is. Sometimes I read some paragraphs, and nothing is apprehended truly. If you pick the first reference of a Wikipedia article, often used in the first paragraph to define the subject of the Wikipedia article, and compare that unobstructed definition with the Wikipedia's introduction/definition, the difference is stark. One coldly 'informs' and the other richly entails meaning and comprehension.

I was reading some stuff on Steam forums about why the game isn't succeeding. It seems to have been a meme since MO1 days that the community is toxic. Haha, hear me out, though.
When MO was more hardcore, it revealed people's nature. It still does, in a way. Even though there was a ton of toxicity in the game, there were also levels of kindness not seen in other games. I've definitely met some awesome people in Mortal 1 (and Mortal 2, too, but even tho I played MO2 for longer time-wise, I think I did more in MO1.)
This ties in to another thing I have heard that I don't agree with: the best call upon seeing someone is to kill them. I dunno! I killed people for luls in beta, nobody wants all the trash loot they have. Killed a guy with a megastack of bandages and was living off that for weeks haha. Arrows, bandages, regs... nobody wants armor that is probably not the kind your character wears, nobody wants a weapon that is probably not the kind your character uses. The best thing would be if what they had was so valuable that you could just take it back to town and sell it.
To put the two together, "The Party System" always seemed like a themepark thing, back when MO didn't have a map and "that was hardcore!" I understood it then, but now I wonder if a party system might be cool. It doesn't mean that there could not be a spy, but imagine starting out your day and partying with all of the people who you know are just doing their thing . All the people you saw and knew and got along with in the area. Then, you could communicate and work together if something happened.
Same with a dungeon, instead of killing people, you could party up because you know eventually a ball of people is going to come.
I UNDERSTAND that you can technically party up and work together already, but it's just different if it's an actual mechanic. You have to trust me. Would be nice to have text chat, possible voice coms, and a special color for party members. Could even go as far as shared glory or other such things later on, but that's not really the point.
The point is giving people another option and allowing them to feel safe with other players, even if that player turns out to be someone pretending to be their friend. That's the kind of thing you can only pull off a few times, so it would work out. Or, if you had a mole/spy in your group, killing them would be fun.
CONNECTION WITHOUT GUILD / ALLY / DISCORD IMAGINE?!
Yet another thing I think SV could work on to vastly improve the game. And this should not go over anyone's heads.

’m back in the dating game after 10 years out of it and I met a woman on an OLD app and we’ve been on two dates, with a third planned for a week from today. I feel she is sending very mixed messages, can anyone help decipher them, I’m about to walk away from this:

1. She will make plans for another date that’s a week and a half later because of commitments, but through conversation I’ll ask her what she did over the weekend and she would say I stayed home on Saturday, went to yoga class on Sunday. Those are your commitments? For the third date, she tried to plan it 12 days later.
2. Horrible texter. Sometimes she’ll respond back immediately but then other times it takes a day or more. She doesn’t have a lot of responsibilities aside from her 40 hour a week, work from home job. She left for a 3 day trip last night and while getting ready I texted her and she responded to my first text right away asking me questions but my follow up text wishing her a nice trip was left on read.
3. Most of initiative in communication comes from me and I feel low effort/priority from her

But she does show interest in the following ways;

1. She asked me out on the first date, also after thr first date brought up seeing me again first
2. Mentioned telling her mom about me
3. Acts very interested in me when we were out on our first two dates
4. Will say things such as looking forward to seeing you, or I like getting to know you
5. She is worried about her physical safety, as she lives alone, but she showed me exactly where she lived when I dropped her off after the second date.

So I (F16) met this guy (M18) he’s from my schools sister schools and we met at a school party a month ago. He asked me for my socials after i complimented his outfit. Him and i are in the same grade and are only one year apart and get along really well, we’ve been texting every single day anywhere between 10 minutes to 2 hour long texting cessions. The best part is we really get along, we have similar music taste, we both do sports, we both have fairly good grades, like similar things, our biggest disagreement was on wether or not spiders or ants were less scary lmao. I don’t really think we fall into friends because we’ve been what I assume to be flirty (asking me if I’m dating anyone, liking my fit checks, hearting pictures we send each other, complimenting our looks and so on) and according to my friends that might fall under being a “situationship”
Well yesterday I texted him fairly late to ask him about his day like I usually do but he didn’t see it until the next morning where he answered telling me he had fallen asleep early last night and then casually told me something fun that happened during his day, I ended up asking him a few hours later when I finally opened his message (I didn’t know what to answer so I just didn’t open my socials that day) I ended up just saying that his day sounded like more fun than I did lmao and then asked “btw, wanna hang out sometimes” which he just answered “yuh, why not”.
I have no clue wether or not this means he actually wants to or if he might just be saying that to be nice, I’m actually really confused (I’m autistic btw) and I’ve just been not opening my phone at all for the last two hours since I don’t know how to react and don’t want to leave him on read. On top of that I can only hang out with friends when I’m at my dads which will be in 11 days and he already told me a week before about another subject that he never made plans until one or three days before when the plans happen and I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable by asking him so far beforehand.

1. What his message might mean and what I should answer
2. Wether or not he’s even interested in me
3. And if he is, wether or not I should try to make plans with him

TL;DR a guy I’ve been in a situationship with who I only socialize through text answered to me asking him to hang out with me in what I think is a disinterested way and I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer

Hello, F16(this is long so brace yourself lol) , about a month ago, a guy, who we will call Eli (15) reached out to me on Instagram. Eli appeared very nice, and chill. We decided to further our conversation via iMessage, we flirted and even talked about a few sexual topics, and he then told me he was 15. I don't date anyone younger than me, rather it would be a year or a few months, I just don't feel comfortable. I have a younger brother and for some reason I imagine him... which makes me uncomfortable. I expressed this to him but he disregarded it.
I continued to speak to him but he would begin to do things that would make me uncomfortable; he'd requested that I stay on the phone with him while I showered and would get upset when I didn't and he'd make sexual comments and remarks. Last Saturday my friends and I were preparing to attend a party, he called and asked where we were going and mentioned how he was with his friends. I ignore it, my friend in the background asks for the address and I tell her. Later I received a text from him saying he was at the party, I thought he was bluffing😭. I get to the party and he's there with his friends. THIS MADE ME EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE😭 I felt like this obsessive boy was beginning to evade my life. Eli then sparked up a conversation with my friend and they began talking, she likes him, which made me happy. I put my hatred for him aside.
A few days passed and this friend told me that all he talked about was me. She says he said im a "whore", and a "slut". This made me furious, i then texted him expressing my anger and even mentioning how much I disliked him. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do or if I'm being dramatic. It's just I think he's weird. My friend then says that every time we hang around she wonders if Elijah could join, this just makes it worse. I don't like him, I don't even want him in my fucking life. What do I do?

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I want to take a moment to list out some of my most challenging problems with Protestantism according to what Scripture says, in no particular order. It is not a comprehensive list of all of the problems that I have with it, but having these answered would go a long way to me taking Protestantism seriously from a theological viewpoint.
We should rely on our own personal interpretation of Scripture
And we have the prophetic word made more sure. You will do well to pay attention to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. ²⁰ First of all you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, ²¹ because no prophecy ever came by the impulse of man, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.
Here, Peter is saying PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHURCH!!! Listen to what the apostles are teaching and allow that to form your reading of Scripture. If you read the rest of this chapter, He says that "we" (the apostles) have had given to them, "all things that pertain to life and godliness" through knowledge of Jesus Christ. When we read Scripture, we should not read it solely with our own understanding, but allow ourselves to be taught by the apostles (or those appointed by them as successors).
When it comes to Sola Scriptura, I do not see how it is not relying on one's own personal interpretation. How do I know that I am understanding Scripture correctly? How do I know that I do not have an interpretation that is horribly off base? I have never really gotten an answer to this from Protestants.
If I am debating Scripture, according to Protestants, I am debating the sole highest authority. So if I test my interpretation against something else, I am testing against a lesser authority and thus it can still be challenged and I have not sufficiently solved the problem.
We only need to declare Jesus as Lord to get to Heaven
“Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Here Jesus flatly says professing that Jesus is Lord is not enough to get you into Heaven, but doing the will of the Father. Yes, we are saved by faith through grace. If you get baptized and are shot dead the moment you walk out of the church, you will go to Heaven having done nothing except making that "leap of faith." If you are in a car crash and have a minute to live and all you can do is place your trust in Jesus, yes, you will be saved. But for 99.99999% of people, this is not the case. We have our entire lives to live after baptism. So the question is "Do we live according to what we profess with our mouth?"
If I say "I am an Orioles fan." but only ever go to/watch Yankees games and only ever root for the Yankees, would you say that I am actually an Orioles fan? Do I not call into question that statement that I made by my actions? What if I grow up as an Orioles fan, regularly attending games and watching them daily. But then later, my favorite player gets traded to the Yankees and I convert to a Yankees fan. Was I never an Orioles fan to begin with? No. That would be silly. I was an Orioles fan, but then became a Yankees fan.
Likewise, if I say "I am a Christian and believe that Jesus rose from the dead." But I never attend Church, I am not loving others, I am worshipping other gods, etc. Am I really a Christian? Maybe I was at one point, but I certainly am not now based on what I have done.
As such, yes, it is true that works do not save us, but if we act contrary to what we believe, we cannot have assurance of our salvation. Hopefully God still finds a way to bring us to Heaven. I would rather someone spend 1000 years after death having their soul purified knowing that they will go to Heaven then know for a fact that they are in Hell. Even so, we must recognize that Hell is real, it is a real possibility.
Baptism does not save
He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.
Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, ²² who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.
I have ZERO idea where some Protestants get this idea from. The idea that Baptism is not salvific is not at all Scriptural. This really ties into the "Sola Fide" bit of this post.
The Eucharist is merely symbolic
I am the bread of life. ⁴⁹ Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. ⁵⁰ This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die. ⁵¹ I am the living bread^\)^c\) which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.”
⁵² The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”^\)^d\) ⁵³ So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; ⁵⁴ he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ⁵⁵ For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. ⁵⁶ He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. ⁵⁷ As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” ⁵⁹ This he said in the synagogue, as he taught at Caper′na-um.
Jesus flat out says "This bread that I am talking about here is my flesh." So the disciples challenge Him saying "You mean this figuratively right?... RIGHT?
So Jesus responds repeating himself over and over in verses 53 through 58. How many times does Jesus need to say something for you to believe it? You will latch on to a singular verse that teaches something you agree with (or seems to) for dear life at the exclusion of literally any other verse on the topic, but something else is taught multiple times and you don't believe it? I am confused about how Protestants read the Bible. It does not seem to be in any kind of coherent exegesis.
You are allowed to get divorced and remarried... at all.
“Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,^\)^a\) ⁸ and the two shall become one.’^\)^b\) So they are no longer two but one.^\)^c\) ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
He said to them, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity,^\)^c\) and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery.”
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Marriage is "until death do us part." The teachings on divorce from the Gospels is trying to set a trap for Jesus to see which rabbinical school he agrees with. Jesus comes out and says. "Neither." He says "Yeah. Moses allowed for divorce. But this is not how it was from the beginning. What about that "except for unchastity" phrase in Matthew (and only Matthew)?
There Matthew is talking about unions that God did not join together. He is talking about invalid marriages that his primarily Jewish readers would have been thinking about. The gentile converts to Christianity would not have thought about these weird situations, so this is excluded from the other gospels.
You can get re-baptized
There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
Some that want to say that you can get rebaptized jump to Acts 19. Reading this passage, it would seem that what is going on here is that the Baptism by John was not in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Paul is essentially saying that the "baptism" that they had received was not valid. He does not say that he "baptized them again into Christ." Rather it says that Paul "baptized them in the name Jesus Christ." As in they were not baptized into Christ, so Paul baptized them "for real this time."
You can only be cleansed from Original Sin once. After that, you can confess your sins and have them forgiven. Baptism is what makes into a child of God. That can only happen once. To do otherwise is a grave sin because you are saying that God was not powerful enough to save you the first time. Again, if a baptism is deemed to be invalid, this is a different story. This is why Paul asks "Into what were you baptized?"
The Church is simply the collection of believers
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Here it is clear that the "Church" is something more than a collection of believers. Jesus teaches here that first, you deal with disagreement 1 on 1. If that does not work, you go and get other believers to help show that they are wrong. If that does not work, then take to the Church. If even that does not work, they are to be treated as an unbeliever (excommunicated).
Certainly, all believers are a part of the Church - which is the body of Christ. The Church is not a parish or a singular building. The Church is universal, but there is a clear structure to it. There are priests, bishops, elders, etc. There is real authority in that structure. This article goes over in Scripture and towards the bottom the Church Fathers what the Church is meant to look like: https://www.scripturecatholic.com/the-biblical-church/
Many Protestant ideas sound nice, but I do not want to believe something merely because it sounds nice. Dessert for dinner sounds nice but it is not good for my body. Likewise, we should not judge something on "does it sound nice." We should judge something on whether it is good for our souls.
I look at many Protestant theological views and note how they seem to not be based in Scripture or based on a misunderstanding of Scripture. I would love to see if Protestants can properly answer these. Simply quoting verses that seem to back you up is not enough here. You need to show that these other verses are not problematic.
I do not only want to trust in Jesus, I want to trust that I am following everything that he taught. Jesus commanded the apostles to teach all that He has commanded, not just the important stuff. If you get the main stuff right but other things wrong, you still got it wrong. If a teacher gave a 10 question quiz and said, "You got questions 1, 2, 5, and 7 right, but everything else wrong. It is ok though those questions were the most important." I still get a failing grade. So, if you want me to convert to Protestantism you need to show that you actually follow all of Scripture, because I want to strive to get a 100% on the "test" of salvation. After all Jesus told us to "Be perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect" Not "Be kind of perfect as Your Heavenly Father is perfect."

I had to get this out somewhere and I guess it’s here, my boyfriend and I have been having some serious trouble we’ve been together for a year and a half now but the whole relationship has been on and off. We’ve had some seriously bad arguments our good periods are amazing and our bad periods are terrible!
We would have very toxic arguments the biggest thing being him getting past my past and him not being emotionally intelligent! He would never want to sit and talk we’d always just argue and he would just gaslight and not acknowledge my feelings I would ask to just talk about something or I would tell him that something is hurting me and he would do it again and again not listening to what I’m saying. I wasn’t perfect at the start of the relationship and I’m sure you can all see I’m definitely not now but I changed a lot positively in this relationship and I felt that he did not do the same, I changed my behaviours stopped being so reactive but he kept provoking me, making jokes that shouldn’t be made, threatening to leave me and causing some sort of argument every few weeks after he pretended to change.
I stayed with him hoping he would changing knowing I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, I’ve even had guys more successful than my partner approach me but lately our relationship has been horrible. I attempted to break up with him because he tried to make me cut contact with my mum (who isn’t the greatest) and said a lot of nasty things to me. I ended up letting him inside he got me flowers, but this wasn’t the first time we’ve been at break up point he had actually tried to use that against me various times. So I tried to leave him twice but I didn’t leave him, the first time I still cared for him so much, the second time which is now I couldn’t care about his actions and did not invest my self fully into the relationship in fear he’d be the same as he was. In saying all of this I know I’m not the victim and I just want to say our relationship has improved a lot compared to the start but it’s still very toxic.
So I had multiple guys hit on my at my workplace recently and this one guy asked for my Snapchat I didn’t give it to him, he than wrote his number down as I needed it for my job and said I can text him if I like. I didn’t text him the first day but than I saw him the next day coming to work. I realised he stood out to me he was handsome but that wasn’t the main thing he was very sweet and caring. We talked and talked messaged than one day he asked me to hang out I rejected it than another day the following week he asked to go for a drive saying he can pick me up from work. I went we sat and talked with wa nice view of the city it was so refreshing he understood me in a way my boyfriend could never when I told him I felt Le he tried to understand why by asking me why do you feel like that and drove deeper into the conversation, something my bf never did for me
Recently my boyfriend has seeemed like he’s trying to work on supporting me emotionally and I feel really guilty for this. So I actually saw this guy two times after and kept talking to him feeling happy and relived when I hung out with him and I can tell he likes me a lot but I don’t want to continue it now
TL;DR CHEATED ON BF EMOTIONALLY, because that’s what he wasn’t providing me with FEELING GUILTY

So I (F16) met this guy (M18) he’s from my schools sister schools and we met at a school party a month ago. He asked me for my socials after i complimented his outfit. Him and i are in the same grade and are only one year apart and get along really well, we’ve been texting every single day anywhere between 10 minutes to 2 hour long texting cessions. The best part is we really get along, we have similar music taste, we both do sports, we both have fairly good grades, like similar things, our biggest disagreement was on wether or not spiders or ants were less scary lmao. I don’t really think we fall into friends because we’ve been what I assume to be flirty (asking me if I’m dating anyone, liking my fit checks, hearting pictures we send each other, complimenting our looks and so on) and according to my friends that might fall under being a “situationship”
Well yesterday I texted him fairly late to ask him about his day like I usually do but he didn’t see it until the next morning where he answered telling me he had fallen asleep early last night and then casually told me something fun that happened during his day, I ended up asking him a few hours later when I finally opened his message (I didn’t know what to answer so I just didn’t open my socials that day) I ended up just saying that his day sounded like more fun than I did lmao and then asked “btw, wanna hang out sometimes” which he just answered “yuh, why not”.
I have no clue wether or not this means he actually wants to or if he might just be saying that to be nice, I’m actually really confused (I’m autistic btw) and I’ve just been not opening my phone at all for the last two hours since I don’t know. On top of that I can only hang out with friends when I’m at my dads which will be in 11 days and he already told me a week before about another subject that he never made plans until one or three days before when the plans happen and I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable by asking him so far beforehand.

1. What his message means and what I should answer
2. Wether or not he’s even interested in me
3. And if he is wether or not I should try to make plans with him

I had to get this out somewhere and I guess it’s here, my boyfriend and I have been having some serious trouble we’ve been together for a year and a half now but the whole relationship has been on and off. We’ve had some seriously bad arguments our good periods are amazing and our bad periods are terrible!
We would have very toxic arguments the biggest thing being him getting past my past and him not being emotionally intelligent! He would never want to sit and talk we’d always just argue and he would just gaslight and not acknowledge my feelings I would ask to just talk about something or I would tell him that something is hurting me and he would do it again and again not listening to what I’m saying. I wasn’t perfect at the start of the relationship and I’m sure you can all see I’m definitely not now but I changed a lot positively in this relationship and I felt that he did not do the same, I changed my behaviours stopped being so reactive but he kept provoking me, making jokes that shouldn’t be made, threatening to leave me and causing some sort of argument every few weeks after he pretended to change.
I stayed with him hoping he would changing knowing I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, I’ve even had guys more successful than my partner approach me but lately our relationship has been horrible. I attempted to break up with him because he tried to make me cut contact with my mum (who isn’t the greatest) and said a lot of nasty things to me. I ended up letting him inside he got me flowers, but this wasn’t the first time we’ve been at break up point he had actually tried to use that against me various times. So I tried to leave him twice but I didn’t leave him, the first time I still cared for him so much, the second time which is now I couldn’t care about his actions and did not invest my self fully into the relationship in fear he’d be the same as he was. In saying all of this I know I’m not the victim and I just want to say our relationship has improved a lot compared to the start but it’s still very toxic.
So I had multiple guys hit on my at my workplace recently and this one guy asked for my Snapchat I didn’t give it to him, he than wrote his number down as I needed it for my job and said I can text him if I like. I didn’t text him the first day but than I saw him the next day coming to work. I realised he stood out to me he was handsome but that wasn’t the main thing he was very sweet and caring. We talked and talked messaged than one day he asked me to hang out I rejected it than another day the following week he asked to go for a drive saying he can pick me up from work. I went we sat and talked with wa nice view of the city it was so refreshing he understood me in a way my boyfriend could never when I told him I felt Le he tried to understand why by asking me why do you feel like that and drove deeper into the conversation, something my bf never did for me
Recently my boyfriend has seeemed like he’s trying to work on supporting me emotionally and I feel really guilty for this. So I actually saw this guy two times after and kept talking to him feeling happy and relived when I hung out with him and I can tell he likes me a lot but I don’t want to continue it now
TL;DR
CHEATED AND DON’T Know what to doing feeling guilty, cheated emotionally.

Having recently been released from prison my father(58M) decided that it would be right to visit me and I, out of some deranged sense of fillial responsibility decided to agree. He got through the visa waiver surprisingly quickly and I thought fortune was blessing us.
anyways he texts me about a week before saying that due to "other responsibilities" (what fucking responsibilities ur on a tourist visa bitch) he can't come visit me and i would have to come vist him in norfolk- because he wanted to see my (half) sister(22F) too. 🙄🙄🙄 ok whatever, sure ill come !!! he agreed to put me up in a hotel for the duration of the stay. whatever i have to say about him that was very nice and i am thankful
i was a bit tense but overall enthusiastic, and when im finally visiting him i notice two things, one that he seems really distracted and generally just, out of it and secondly i meet his new girlfriend. idrc about her but i can tell she's uncomfortable. my sister was also clearly uncomfortable with her too. when we're talking i tried to keep on my tiptoes about what to ask him. avoid jail talk etc. instead i just let him drone on about business and sports and eventually he got bored of that and asked us about our lives.
me and my sister were pretty clearly bored but we answered to the best of our wavering abilities. i talked about my first year in college. overall pretty ok, but there was an undercurrent of bad vibes.
anna said she had to leave and i jumped at the opportunity to leave too. im not exactly sure what happened but here's my loose understanding of the events that happened
Me and my sister leave, I go home and immediately fall asleep.
My sister goes back to where my dad is staying bcz she lost her purse.
My father's girlfriend made a comment about the purse
My sister and my father's girlfriend get into an argument.
i wakeup with my sister blowing up my phone and i tell her ill call her later. from reading her texts i kinda figure out somethings wrong but i stupidly come back to wher my father's staying to say goodbye and all that we talk for a few minutes. then he mentions the argument from last night, and i say I heard from my sister and im not getting involved. he tells me that my sister said some very rude things about her, especially that she looked like "a pig who just rolled in the dirt* (she does) I said that, while i got his point it's so ridiculously rude to bring a woman to a housecall with your children that she has the right to say whatever she wants. We start arguing badly, i cried and said some nasty things as well.
two days ago(i guess for mother's day?) he texted me to say he's sorry for how he acted. super conflicted now bcz i don't want to disrespect my sister but i feel like i might want to apologize too. after all i didn't check in with my sister about the whole girlfriend thing. was i enough of an asshole that I should?

Basically what the title says. I appreciate any and all help and advice. My site is suffering due to low text-HTML ratio (86 pages according to SEM Rush). I know that drag-and-drop pages cause this but I can't create a dynamic site without Elementor. I'm open to possibly hiring someone, but we've been screwed in the past. Before I worked here, my employer paid about $5k to have the website designed. It was designed using drag and drop, but then compressed into an not-editable file with many site errors, including that it flagged the site as malware when it was accessed on desktop. I used coding to fix the major issues. My coding skills are basic/intermediate level. We then used Elementor to copy all aspects of the design, and now it is editable, dynamic and no longer has malware issues. It is stressful to see that after all of that, we still aren't being indexed at the level we should be due to the bulky code.
Let's say that I did decide to do a site redesign an employ someone to completely rebuild it, how do I guarantee they don't use drag-and-drop software? How can I tell the difference between a good designer and a bad one? Is there anyway to reduce code bloat while still using WordPress and Elementor? TIA and please be nice.

I got the discharge email on May 1 and like most of us was very curious about the potential refund part.
On May 6, my studentaid.gov updated to show I no longer owed any loans. However Nelnet is still showing my loans on their site as of today. However they have been placed in forbearance now so that’s a positive sign that the discharge is being processed on their end.
This morning, May 14, I have an email from Nelnet saying that I have a new letter so I logged in and it says I have an overpayment and need to verify my address so that I can be issued any refund owed.
I called in and verified my address with a nice rep and she said they didn’t have any info yet on the amount I would be refunded or a timeline but that since my contact info is up to date I don’t have to do anything further and will be contacted again.
Here’s hoping it’s the entirety of my payments so far over the last 10 years (about $30,000!) but we’ll see.
————————————-
Here’s the text of the letter from Nelnet:
Action Needed: You may be owed a refund. Account: EXXXXXXXXX
Dear (me), Our records indicate that we may have received an overpayment on your account listed above. Please contact us through one of these options to verify your address:
• Call Nelnet at 888-486-4722. For our current hours of operation, visit Nelnet.studentaid.gov/content/contact.
• Call us anytime and use the automated system without speaking to a live representative to verify your address; simply follow the prompts.
• Log in to your online account and verify your address by going to the Profile card on the dashboard.
• Write to us at the following address and return this letter after completing the address verification information below: Nelnet P.O. Box 82526 Lincoln, NE 68501-2526 Check this box if the address shown above is correct. If your address is different than what is shown above, please write your correct address here: Street Address: Apartment number, etc.: City, State & ZIP code: We will then finalize the review of your account and issue a refund if one is due. We must verify your address before we can issue any refund due to ensure the refund is sent to your address. We cannot process any refund until your address has been verified.
Please note: • From the time that you call and verify your address, please allow 60 days for receipt of your refund. If we determine you are not owed a refund, we will notify you in writing.
• If your account was paid in full by consolidation or rehabilitation any voluntary payment(s) you made after rehabilitation or consolidation will be forwarded to your new servicer rather than refunded to you.
• This notice pertains only to non-defaulted debts held by the U.S. Department of Education; it does not pertain to debts held by guaranty agencies or to defaulted William D. Ford Federal Direct Loans.

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There is this guy (24m) that has a crush on me (30f) and has been flirting with me for several months now and recently has been more direct about it. I (my mistake) have also flirted back but I believe nothing too serious. He asked for my number a few days ago and since we've started to chat.
So the other day a random number called me then texted me, it was his wife. She started asking me what was going on between us because she saw in his phone he was texting me. She sent me audios, photos and videos to prove that they were together. Apparently they have been having trouble in their relationship, she has wanted to end stuff before but he says that he doesn't want to split.
I told her nothing serious has happened between us and that it has just been flirting. we started talking about her relationship and everything. From talking to her I sensed she is a really nice girl who is devoted to her family and has been patient en resilient to this guy despite him not been the most giving husband for she says he has changed a lot from when they were dating till now.
Days after I talked to her, the guy texted me saying he wants to know me better, how he likes me etc... I asked him what about his baby's momma, and he had the audacity to deny he was with her! Cause I think he does not know his wife and I had already talked.
My conflict: I really want to talk to this guy and tell him I know everything. That he should respect us for lying. I also want her to know that he is an ass for denying they are in a Relationship but I know this would also create problems (more) between them. I also dont want, if I talk to him first, that later he can take it out on her for talking to me, cause she says he has told her before she is crazy and toxic. I just don't want to be the reason they split.
TL;DR; : A guy apparently married is lying to me and his wife about each other. He doesnt know she and I have talked. I want to face him but don't know how to but also want her to know he is an ass for lying. I just dont want to be the reason they split.

We've been very close for about 20 years and I love the time we spend together, though we get less of it since we live 2 hours apart. She has 2 small kids (3 and 5) and I don't have any kids, so I knew that this would be a challenging season of life, albeit temporary. I'm happy to hang out with the kids and I ask about them, I'm not trying to pretend like this isn't a huge life change even if I can't be a fellow 'mom friend.' At the end of last year, I scrolled through the last 6 months of our texts and pretty much anytime we talked, it was because I had reached out first, and she'd generally respond but sometimes it would take days.
Back in January she texted me an apology saying she's been dropping the ball on responding. I appreciated the acknowledgement, because it was starting to wear on me, feeling like I was the only one putting energy into the friendship. After that conversation I kind of backed off and figured the ball was in her court to be the next one to reach out. 14 weeks went by with no contact and it really bummed me out. It started to feel like she was failing a test she didn't know she was taking, and it felt very middle school. And that didn't feel good, to be carrying these negative feelings about someone I care about.
So yesterday I texted saying it's been a while and asked how she was, she replied a few hours later with a quick update and asked how I was. I sent back a long text saying that I had noticed I was the one reaching out and it didn't feel great to have that happen over and over again. I was hoping to hear from her more after the January convo but after the weeks and then months went by it just made me feel bad. I ended the text with "I don't want to feel like that about a friend, especially if there's something going on in their life that I'm not aware of. I know sometimes life gets busy and people can grow apart, but since we've known each other for so long and I care about you, I wanted to be honest about what I was feeling. If you're interested, could we maybe schedule a phone call this week to catch up? It would be nice to hear your voice."
I was really hoping none of it came across as snarky/mean/full of attitude because I genuinely didn't intend it to, I just wanted to be honest with a dear friend in the interest of full disclosure and continuing to be friends going forward. But she read my text right after I sent it, and hasn't replied. Do I just never text her again? If she doesn't reply to this, that doesn't really leave us much to go on in the future. Do I let a week go by and then ask how she's doing, or ask what she thought about my text, or something else? I'm just bummed.
TL;DR I want to preserve this friendship but I can't do it alone, and I don't know what to do next.

Is there any validity to exotrauma, which seems to be related to psudomemories? As someone struggling to make sense f using my DBT, CBT, RLT lessons, and seeing people say their trauma from something that happened from a fictional source…..because they identify as those beings , they say it is real and valid. And it is kind, humane and such to believe and honor those experiences, it s real to them, their feelings are real. But I can’t. And sometimes those people are nice to me and a few times might of even had my back when in was doing drama and or expected absurd feelings.
It seems a few people realize their experience ance is mangled memories with symbolic filler. But for the most part, I just see people make the claims of past lives.
Should this fringe thing be known to more people, and honored in therapy ? Or like an unsupportive and dismissive person telling someone “ big deal get over it” because they had a disturbing dream after binging on horror movies
I should possibly go easier on the people, seeing how horrible DID is. But I will often run into people on line who claim they do not have it, they just share a brain with others. ( and then there is a factor of respecting spiritual beliefs)
But if I have to fact check feelings, and I see that I need to validate a fantasy . I just can’t. And it is good that I am not a therapist or do psychiatric work. And sometimes people tell me those folk are not delusional ( and even if they are, it is barbaric to want to cure them)
I have a hard time compiling these thoughts

Get ready for a long one! Going to start this with a little (maybe a lot of) back story, over the last 5-6 years there has been a lot of conflict in my family not always directly involving me but always affecting me causing the family I’m in contact with to get smaller and smaller. My dad passed in 2020 and the family fall out was DRAMATIC to say the least, honestly that could be another Reddit post in of itself but I’m still healing from the trauma. Anyway, that resulted in me going no contact with nearly my dad’s entire family except his two sisters. One I love dearly but am not close with and the other, his youngest sister is like my own sister more than an aunt. We are close in age, have children similar ages, etc. I’m closer to her more than anyone in the world. Now on to my mom… my parents were divorced for about 3.5 years prior to my dads passing, and over the last 6 years her parents also passed and she lost contact with all of her other family… she is virtually alone. I love my mom, it breaks my heart and to make matters worse… I moved to another country 6 months after my dad died.
So let’s get it straight that I have TWO people to call family on my side really and truly. Along side my little brother who cannot be counted on and my aunt who lives a coast away from the rest of my family. A very small family for me now compared to the large family I grew up with…
Let me assure you also that my mom is stilll very much young at 50yo and healthy. She also has had a busy dating life and currently a steady boyfriend… so she’s not some poor old woman wasting away. So. While I’ve been living away I’ve given birth to both of my children… my mom’s first grandchildren and her also being the only grandparent on my side, her seeing them has been very important to me. I have gone to visit once a year and helped her come visit me once . Every visit is a disaster and I manage to disappoint my mom in some way or another even though…. I’m the one traveling across an ocean alone with babies! But still I try. When she came to visit me… it was in 2022 just a week after my son was born… I had gotten really sick after birth, and was in the hospital for a week and then had to go to the hospital daily getting iv meds.. it was a scary and traumatic time and I was so thankful to have my mom there…. Except she cried everyday about how I forced her to travel to another country alone and how we aren’t even doing anything….. again I was sick and just a week post partum… I bit my tongue and was very accommodating but did ask her to take a train/bus to and from the airport because it was far and didn’t want to be alone with both children for extended time due to being sick and weak… I thought this was perfectly reasonable considering she’s an able bodied adult who can read a book or listen to music during a trip and allow my husband to stay home and support me.
Flash forward to a recent trip home… I originally proposed this trip just me and my two children and to stay with my mom( again even though my family is small, it’s important to me she sees my kids) however my husband now has the opportunity with work to come with me…. Great now I don’t have to fly alone with two toddlers! When my in laws find out (by the way they have come to visit us twice and they live pretty far away on the opposite coast my family lives on) they decide they want to come too… meaning they’re gonna fly out an visit my coast so we can have a big family trip with both our families. I tell my mom nervously because I know she can be irritated by things like this but she acts excited for the trip still! So my MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL, and two nieces all fly out and get beach rental just a few houses down from where my mom lives. When the time comes it works out that we were there 2 days before and 2 days after my in laws and they’re there for 6 days in the middle. The way I planned it in my head was that we’d spend the first two days with my mom and the last two, as well as sometime with just my in laws in the middle while my mom worked and some combined time all together. And we were also staying with my mom so we were often together in the evenings as well. Sounds great, right? No.
The morning of my in-laws last day… she was acting weird, slamming doors, not coming up to say good morning like usual and then just getting in her car to leave for work. I stepped outside to wave bye and share barely acknowledged me, and I knew I was in for it. That day we took the kids to the park and I was feeling sad my mom couldn’t be there to join us and also sad that she was upset, so I sent her and I love you text.. to which I got “I made plans for tonight don’t worry about me”. Oh. Okay. I thought she’d join us for dinner to see my in laws off but no, she’d made plans. Fair enough but in comes the onslaught of texts. Of how I was constantly choosing to spend time with my in-laws over her, even though she was invited along every time aside from when she was at work… but she declined. She was so upset about this she told me she didn’t want to see us the rest of the trip… meaning the last full two days I had planned to dedicate to her… canceled… because essentially she didn’t want to go to the aquarium one day with all of us and want time to us all by herself and she didn’t come out and say it… and sorry my kids love the aquarium and it was raining so a great activity. But for her the value of the trip came down to the one specific moment and get this… she really wants me to know she’s still upset I made her come to Spain two years ago. I continued to try to reason with her but she threw insults that I feel can never taken back, she continuously called and yelled at me till I ended up blocking her for some peace. And moved our stuff over to my aunts for our last days. I did unblock her so she could calmly reach back out after 24 hours. Which she did and asked to see the kids and say goodbye, to which I agreed. We did have a very nice talk which resolved the tensions. But I’m left feeling really hurt by her insults… and a comment she kept making over and over “I’ll always just be your mom to you and that’s not fair” - i understand she is more than a mom but to me she is my mom and I largely still need her to be my mom because she’s the only parent I have left so I just don’t know how to treat her differently. I’m left wondering am I not treating her the way I should be? How should I be treating her in a way that is “not just my mom”? Did I spend to much time with my in-laws? I’m feeling really uneasy about our relationship and wondering am I the asshole here??? Or do I need to just set some boundaries and stand firm?

I’m 15 weeks and already feeling uncomfortable. I’m normally a very early morning runner (4am) due to work. Pre-pregnancy this wasn’t an issue, but lately I’m finding it harder and harder to get up, run and work 12 hours. If I do, I’m literally falling asleep at my desk before noon. My coach is very kind, but I feel like she is not understanding what pregnancy is like on a body. The last two weeks I’ve have zero motivation to even exercise..despite me feeling mostly fine. That being said I have been skipping my long runs (2 hours) and sort of only running when I’m up for it. I tired my best today which was 70 mins of easy pace but I ended up power walking nearly the entire time. My stomach just feels heavy, legs feel weak and it really was quiet nice to just walk.. When I’m not hitting goal I get texts of “everything going okay?” Etc. Tomorrow I have a speed session which I want to laugh at. How should I approach this? I still want to work with her, I really really like her and I know she’s well intended but I really want space and not have to explain myself. Thanks!

I work in a children’s home. So it’s not like working in an office, they can’t just manage until they can find someone to cover or I can get in. I was meant to be working from 7am today until 10pm tomorrow. A sleep shift at work.
I looked at my calendar before I went to bed, it didn’t say I was working so I went off to sleep. I woke up later than normal because I’m dealing with some pretty crappy health issues at the moment. And I had missed texts from my colleagues and my manager. No calls though. They were worried something was wrong because I hadn’t turned up to my shift! And it was already 10am when I replied, 3hours into the shift.
They had luckily found cover for me so told me not to come in. I’m still going in tomorrow from 7am until 10pm. And I’ve just got an email that I know have a meeting scheduled with my manager tomorrow. I’m shitting bricks. I just can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I’m scared to see my colleagues tomorrow who had to pick up the slack from missing me. I’m terrified to talk to my manager. And I honestly want to quit on the spot, that might sound dramatic but I go home with bruises, cuts, and a limp every shift because of the behavioural issues the children have. I had a fire extinguisher thrown at me in my first week of working there. I can barely get out of bed on a normal morning because of the pain I’m dealing with in general. The mental strain this is putting on me is really really taking its toll but I’m basically only qualified to work in care. Where I keep ending up in A&E for bites, concussions even a dislocated shoulder.
I’ve not long ago started renting my first place with my partner so I can’t afford to be signed off of work. I can’t afford to miss days of work. My doctor has suggested signing me off but I just can’t. And every day I go in my health is deteriorating so much. I can no longer run around with the children, I used to go to the gym and go for runs but now I can barely get my trainers on. I’m only 21. I’ve tried looking for other jobs but I just keep running into the same issues. I’m working two jobs currently just so I can support my fiancé since his family has always had money. He’s not used to eating around the mold on the bread, he was eating fresh baguettes for lunch as a child, I was waiting for my plain pasta for dinner.
I feel like I’m going to work and looking after children and coming home to take care of another one. Don’t get me wrong I love that man. But it would be nice when I’ve worked for two days straight to not see the plate I served his food on from before I left, still sat at his desk.

I (24F) was using a rideshare app to go back from my work. I met a guy (34M) in one of those rides and we got along very well and after two rides he invited me to a pastry shop to try his traditional cuisine - I had previously lived in his country and I knew a lot about the culture, food and it sounded great. After this first date we kept hanging out and organize more dates (he was always the one organizing those dates). One thing that felt off in the beginning was that he was not available during weekends. But I justified it in my mind with the fact the he lives with his parents and I already knew his parents had health issues previously so did not really want to make him uncomfortable (yes now I understand how wrong I was). After we got physical I told him that it would be my first sex experience (even though I've been in relationships before never did it) and he was okay with it and after some time we did it it felt do great. For the first time in my life I felt like falling in love with someone. But two months in two our hangout he just suddenly canceled our trip plan saying he is not in the mood after a bad traffic and he had some problems he did not tell me before about. The next day he texted me saying that he has two kids and lives partially with an ex (which he wishes not to but can't leave because of kids - bs I can say). I was devastated for the days not only because he had kids and how manipulative he was but the way he confessed it - over text was very selfish. The days after he said he wanted to meet me to apologize in person and when I said on Saturday he didn't reply and only texted again on Monday. We finally met and he told me about his situation and to be honest I felt so disgusted by myself. He kept saying how he is not happy with his ex because she was always complaining, not traveling, always unsatisfied etc. And he kept saying how he felt love for me and how I was funny and all that. He said those things thinking it would make me feel good but deep inside I was shocked how I fell for a man like him. He said he wished he mad met someone like me years ago and I do not understand it now because of my age. I did not trust any of his words anymore also his ex did not know at all about me, neither his friends or family. I just felt like a "side piece" all along.
TL; DR The guy I was dating told me after two months that he had kids.I am just feeling so bad. I told him to "have a nice life" and he said I can't tell that to him and he just left. I do not know how can someone ever get over it. How can men do such things easily? Now I am also wondering if I meet a guy of my age, would he be go looking for a younger women once we have kids? Is it really what it is? I stupidly still have feelings for him. I mean I can understand having a bad relationship can suck but how can you expect to live with an ex and still meet someone and lie to them like this?