I'm trying to make the best financial decision I can, and need some help in the process. I've had my mind on a Model 3 for a while now, I took a test drive and liked what I saw. Here's the thing though. I have a 2022 Corolla Cross LE with about 11,000 miles. No accidents, pretty much brand new. I put my VIN in the trade-in website for Tesla and they're giving me $22,000 (Yes, I am aware the prices are not final but just bear with me) I currently owe to the bank $26,000 for the loan on the Corolla. Which would set me back $4000. It all comes down to liking the car more than I like mine and ending up paying less money per month (my current payments are $589, which is in my opinion way too much for what my car has to offer.) So, my question is, what's my move? Any advice is appreciated, and I'd like to apologize if any questions sound ignorant.
I would also like to add that having a Model 3 would fit my needs for the places I regularly go to such as work and other endeavors.

To make a long story short, three weeks ago my husband was in a car accident that left him with a fractured spine and an ankle injury that required surgery. He is non-weight bearing and cannot do much for himself. I asked my leave specialist if I could take fmla since I am his primary caregiver and I was told no since I have not been with the district for a year. I’m going to school everyday to teach and then coming home to resume caregiver duties. I’m exhausted and struggling mentally. Has anyone ever gone through the process of getting mental health days? If so, were you paid? I’m trying to weigh my options as the school year wraps up.

Prices FIRM - CashApp/Venmo/PayPal Friends & Family
Disney/Marvel titles are split codes. Only redeem what you pay for. Thank you.
1917 (2019) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3
355, The (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
65 (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25
A Bug's Life (1998) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
A Man Called Otto (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
A Monster Calls (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
A Most Wanted Man (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
A Quiet Place (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
A Simple Favor (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
A United Kingdom (2016) (MA/HD) $5
A Vigilante (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Abominable (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Ad Astra (2019) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25
Addams Family 2 (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Adventures of Tintin (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014) (MA/HD) $4.75
Alien Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $19.50
Aliens (1986) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6
Aloha (2015) (MA/HD) $2.50
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (2009) (MA/HD) $5.50
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (MA/HD) $4
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $5
Ambulance (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Assassin (2017) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
American Gangster (Extended Edition) (2007) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $5.75
American Hustle (2013) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Underdog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Amsterdam (2022) (MA/HD) $4.75
Angel Has Fallen (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Angel of Mine (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Angels & Demons (2009) (MA/4K) $6.50
Anna (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Antlers (2021) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.50
Ant-Man (2015) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Apocalypse Now (Theatrical, Redux & Final Cut) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Arnold Schwarzenegger 6-Movie (Vudu/HD) $13.50
Art of Racing in The Rain (MA/HD) $5.25
As Good As It Gets (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Asteroid City (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Avengers Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $20 (GP/HD) $7.75
Babylon (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Bad Boys Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
Bad Times at The El Royale (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Barbie (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Batman, The (2022) (MA/4K) $4
Batman: Death in the Family (2020) (MA/HD) $4
Battleship (2012) (MA/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Baywatch (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Beast (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Begin Again (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Belfast (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Ben-Hur (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Between Worlds (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Beyond the Reach (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Big (1988) (MA/HD) $6
Big George Foreman (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Hero 6 (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Big Lebowski (1998) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Short (2015) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Birds of Prey (2020) (MA/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $3
Black Adam (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25
Black And Blue (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Black Panther (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Black Widow (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
BlacKkKlansman (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $3.50
Blindspotting (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Blood Father (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Blue Bayou (2021) (MA/HD) $6
Blue Beetle (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Blumhouse's The Craft: Legacy (2020) (MA/HD) $7
Bolt (2008) (MA/HD) $7.25
Bond: Spectre (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Book of Life (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Book Thief (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75
Boss Baby (2017) & Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $14
Breach (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Breaking In (Unrated) (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Brian Banks (2019) (MA/HD) $3.50
Bridesmaids (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
Bridge of Spies (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Brightburn (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.75
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Candyman (2020) (MA/HD) $4.75
Captain America: Civil War (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Phillips (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
Cars 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $15.50 (GP/HD) $9
Central Intelligence (Unrated) (MA/4K) $6.50
Charlie's Angels (2000) (MA/4K) $6.50
Chasing Amy (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Cinderella 'Camila Cabello' (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Clerks II (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.50
Collateral (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Come Play (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Commuter (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Conan The Barbarian (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5
Contractor (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Copshop (2021) (MA/HD) $6.75
Counselor (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Countdown (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $3
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6.25
Croods (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Cruella (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Da Vinci Code (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Crystal (1982) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dead Man Down (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.75
Deadpool 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Death Wish (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Despicable Me Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12.50
Devil's Due (2014) (MA/HD) $3
Devotion (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Die Another Day (2002) (Vudu/HD) $7
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Dirty Dancing (1987) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
DisneyNature: Monkey Kingdom (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Django Unchained (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Doorman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Downsizing (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. No (1962) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $5
Draft Day (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Dragonheart Collection 1-5 (MA/HD) $14
Dredd (2012) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Drive (2011) (MA/HD) $5
Dumb Money (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) (Vudu/HD) $5
El Mariachi (1993) (MA/HD) $6.50
Elemental (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $5
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Equalizer 3 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Eternals (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead Rise (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Exorcist: Believer (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5
F9: The Fast Saga + Director's Cut (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fall (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Fantasia (1940) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fantasia 2000 (2000) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fast & Furious Collection 1-10 (MA/4K) $28
Fast & Furious Collection 1-8 (MA/4K) $23 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast X (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.25
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Fault in Our Stars (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Fifty Shades of Grey + Unrated (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 Unrated (MA/4K) $4.75
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9.75
Five Feet Apart (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Flash, The (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Flatliners (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Forever Purge (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Fruitvale Station (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Fury (2014) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Future World (2018) (Vudu/HD) $4
Gamer (2009) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Gangs of New York (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Garfield (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Gate, The (1987) (Vudu/SD) $3.75
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters (1984) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (MA/HD) $3.50
Gifted (2017) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $2.25
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) (MA/HD) $6
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $6.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) (MA/4K) $4
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Grace Unplugged (2013) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Gran Turismo (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (MA/HD) $3.75
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Grey, The (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Grown Ups 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Grudge (2020) (MA/HD) $6.50
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Hands of Stone (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hateful Eight (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2
Heaven is for Real (2014) (MA/HD) $2.50
Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Hitman (Unrated) (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Hobbs & Shaw (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Holiday Inn (1942) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Holiday, The (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) (MA/HD) $3.50
Home Alone Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6.50
Hook (1991) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hop (2011) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Hope Springs (2012) (MA/HD) $2.25
Hot Fuzz (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Hotel Transylvania Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $16
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of Gucci (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5
How High (2001) (MA/HD) $6.50
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7.50
Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age (2002) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ice Age Collection 1-5 (MA/SD) $16
Identity Thief (2013) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
If I Stay (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Impossible, The (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Incredibles (2004) (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Independence Day: Resurgence (2014) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Indiana Jones Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Inferno (2016) (MA/HD) $3
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Insidious: The Red Door (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Instructions Not Included (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Iron Man 1-3 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Iron Man 3 (2013) (iTunes/4K) $3 (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jason X (2001) (MA/HD) $6
Jaws (1975) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15.50
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Jerry Maguire (1996) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Jingle All the Way (1996) (MA/HD) $6
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $16 (iTunes/4K) $14.50 (Vudu/HD) $8
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50
Jumanji (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Karate Kid (1984) (MA/4K) $6.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scoob (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Superman: Man of Tomorrow (2020) (MA/HD) $4
Superman: Red Son (2020) (MA/HD) $4
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
Wonder Woman: Bloodlines (2019) (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25

New to fixing cars so bear with me. Replaced heater core and ac. Working fine. When re installing the dash I realized I didn’t have turn signals. When removing turn signal switch I discovered this black and blue wire removed and can’t seem to find which position to put it in. Will this resolve my issue . Also side note dimmer switch spring heating up hot red does this have anything to do with what’s going on ?

I am looking to lease with the plan to buy when the lease is done. I am looking at Honda Passport or Pilot, or a Toyota 4Runner. The 4Runner is my dream car, mostly for the look of them because I love how rugged but classy they look, and the roll down rear window is unique.
I like my CR-V but I only had 1 child when I bought it, now I have 3 (2 in carseats). I have zero room for day to day, and we camp with a bulky gear setup all through the summer. I don't need the third row, but wouldn't mind it being available, because as it stands I can't bring anyone else in my car without leaving my teen at home. Cargo space is my main concern. Open to any suggestions for what I should consider in the low 40k range. Reliability & low maintenance are a must... my old Subaru traumatized me with repair costs.
FWIW- before the CR-V I had an outback, and I far preferred the way that drove, if that has any bearing on recommendations.

I saw a license plate today on a passing car, but couldn't see the State/Province of it, and it went by too fast to get a picture. The background of the plate was a medium-blue color (not navy, not aqua) and the only other thing on it was part of a gray/white bear on the left side of the plate. Both my spouse and I swear it was a polar bear.
Has anyone seen this and does anyone know where this license plate might be from? I've tried looking at any US state or CA province that might have bears and nothing matches.
Notes:
This plate was seen somewhere in Kentucky.
This plate is NOT the polar bear-shaped one from the Northwest Territories or the northern lights polar bear one from Nunavut.

Howdy folks! I'm going to try to not write with my emotions, but I'm not too pleased right now, so bear with me. While I'd like to say I am good with money, my wife is not at all. She got absolutely railed in a financial decision, and I've only learned all the dirty details today after a couple years.. Stupid on my part.
My wife "bought" a '17 Jeep Renegade in Jan. of 2020. She lost her job last year, and I've been paying her payments for her for about a year now. I never really asked her for the details on the loan, but it's been having issues and I'm tired of paying for it. I figured I can fix the few issues it has, and maybe sell it outright to get rid of the payment and put her in something else, ideally without a payment. Well, she gave me all the details today, and it's not looking good. $446/mo @ %20.00. $10.4k balance. You read that right. TWENTY PERCENT! I figured after 4 years, we'd be pretty close, but nope. The jeep at best is worth $5-7k if it was all working great, but like I said, it's got issues! Probably $1.5k in repairs. A/C, endlinks, brakes. And it's a Jeep. We could drive the wheels off it, but that could be tomorrow. We haven't missed a payment, and if I had to, I could probably drop $5k onto it, but I'd planned to put that towards my remaining student loans.
There doesn't seem to be an easy way out. She got absolutely screwed, and I'm at a loss as to why she'd put herself, and us in this position. I've also never been in this situation. I'm one to save up, put money down, and pay things down heavily. Credit scores are great, but I don't want to increase debt. She theoretically could have my car, and I could get something else, but she can't/wont drive it (manual). But it's mine, paid off, and a great car with no issues and a lot of life left in it.
What should I do? $10,400 @ 20% is crazy on something worth 5k...
TLDR: Wife financed a broken Jeep at 20% and is now 150% upside down on the loan.

So a local neighbor has had this blue Mustang GT in their driveway ever since I was in high school. (About 10 years ago) I happened to always walk/drive by it and thought “was this abandoned?” Luckily I decided after 10 years to walk into this random driveway to look at this car. A “for sale” sign was on the back window. I called and messaged them about the their mustang.
Now this might sound too good to be true but hear me out. The car was for his nephew, but the nephew was too tall (6’4) Original owner No accidents 70-80,000 miles (from his memory) Doesn’t run because of “spark plugs, the hose and connection to the battery, flat tires and clear coat off the roof” Other than that, nothing missing, everything is OG.
The offer is $2,000, however what do I look for when I go take a look on these style mustang? Common problems? What are the solution? Should I ask lower?
TLDR: thinking about buying this mustang GT 99,00,01 (not sure which one)all original parts, sitting in this driveway. Doesn’t run because of “spark plugs, hose and connection to the battery”. It’s going for a good price, I want to fix it up. First things to fix? What are the best product for the fix? Do I ask for a lower price? Possible Money pit ($8,000 or more)?
Thank you in advance, I’m new to older mustang, so bear with me.

So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.

For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always bitching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers

Money's tight at the minute , van got scrapped and bought a new one for a reasonable price I thought , now realising I think the fella sold me it pulled a fly move. Sold as seen buyer beware , my fault that's how it goes when buying a used vehicle private.
I've had the van a week
Ford connect 1.8 tdci 2005
It had a fully year MOT but I'm assuming it was a backdoor job.
What I've noticed today , small oil leak coming from just above the sump towards the timing cover . There is a bit of a rattle but when I press the clutch down the rattle disappears as if no issue.
Changing gears without issue , clutch feels healthy.
Abs light came on with the handbrake light today and felt like air was in the braking system , pushed it down to try get it to grab again and the pedal went to the floor , brakes working at about 10% capacity now .
Checked the brake fluid , it's black .
I did top the oil in the engine up and it's went down slightly ( due to small leak )
I would say I'm handy with cars and do a lot of my work on them myself when I can . Have decent tools and a good set of ramps to give a fair space when under. (Fathers a mechanic but he's older now , spent my younger days watching him)
My question what issues do you think I'm facing and how to beat diagnos , I was thinking it was the brake master cylinder but not sure if it could be the clutch master cylinder , possible throw out bearing with the noise too .
Ideally I want to fix my breaks bare minimum right now.
I'm moving house in two weeks and things are tight so was going to buy the parts tomorrow to give it a whirl.
Any advice or direction is greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your time

Before going into it, I want to mention how this post was inspired by three things. One was user u/HastyvonFuego2 and their post on going down the rabbit hole on the Kendrick sub last week. It was also inspired by Childish Gambino’s first album release in nearly 6 years where I have been sitting on this idea for a while but he inspired me to finally post this week like he did (never posted on Reddit at all before so be gentle if I am not doing it right)! I was also inspired by an interview Bino gave to GQ about breaking down his most iconic characters. In this interview he says how This is America started out as a Drake diss but then he realized the song was too hard for just Drake so he kept working on it. He also talks in this interview about how all culture is about compression. Which means that yes, This is America is about the gun violence and police issues in America, but compressed in this video is also more about where that culture comes from which he shows is from a small handful of rap moguls, namely Drake, Diddy and Jay-Z (bear with me on this long post, I think/hope it will be worth it). At the end I talk briefly about how Little Foot Big Foot might be in this same vein of cultural compression.
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
The beginning of this song has no background music yet, which really gives it an ‘in the beginning’ feel. Then Gambino starts doing his dances with weird facial expressions. I will explain as we go through his video how those expressions and dance moves represent different famous rap moguls. One easy look to pick out right away is Jay-Z’s famous lip curl/growl look that Gambino gives with a head nod repeatedly. The colonial pants have been a hot topic, but since it’s only the pants that are colonial, Gambino is saying the bottom or basis for this violent culture in America is ultimately colonialism. The lyrics ‘Go Away’, are likely foreshadowing the rap moguls wanting other popular rap rivals to ‘go away’ or they will make them (aka murder them) for profit.
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you (Yeah)
Usually you want money for yourself and to party for yourself, so this is a bit odd. But what Gambino is referring to is similar to these Diddy ‘freakoff parties’ we are hearing about where people who want to be famous are really partying for these rap moguls so they can get close to them. Where they suck up to them saying that they want to earn the mogul money from their songs.
I know you wanna party
Party just for free
Girl, you got me dancin' (Girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (Yeah)
Then this almost feels like the Diddy rebuttal where he’s like ya I know you want to party and you want to do it for free. Like Katt Williams says, “you gotta tell Diddy no”, it is never free to go to those parties. There are always consequences. When you are partying you are dancing, but shaking the frame could refer to how those boundaries/edges are being crossed, lines are blurred, etc.
Then in the video, the fellow who was playing the guitar gets shot and things turn dark from happy music. I believe that this guitar tune is meant to represent 2Pac and Nas’s song Thugz Mansion. It’s one of the original greats from ‘in the beginning’. Nas famously has always had major issues with Jay-Z too (More on why 2Pac and Nas later). It also represents how it was these moguls who murdered 2Pac like Jaguar Wright and Katt Williams keep saying. Where these murders only lead to more money and fame for the killers when the dead artists’ and their music are exploited more easily.
Also note that the gun gets taken away by a school kid after the shooting, more on this later as well.
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Blocboy JB & 21 Savage]
This is America (Skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy)
Look how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (Woo)
Yeah, this is America (Woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (Word, my area)
There is a song called Guns in My Area by Lil Weiner and Baby Chapox that paints a vivid picture of the everyday struggles and conflicts faced by those living in communities affected by gun violence. More compression of other songs and the American gun culture.
I got the strap (Ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
I am almost certain this line is referring to 2Pac’s song Changes. Throughout This is America, Gambino takes lines from Pac’s song: “They get jealous when they see you with your mobile phone” (referred to later in this a Celly, that’s tool) “That's the sound of my tool, you say it ain't cool, My mama didn't raise no fool”
“And as long as I stay black, I gotta stay strapped, And I never get to lay back” It seems like Gambino broke up these lyrics and scattered them throughout his song. This plays into the theme that everyone is using 2Pac and enriching themselves off of his image and music. I show below how this particular section of the video represents Diddy meaning that Diddy himself is exploiting his music (and alleging that Diddy killed Pac?). We could see this exploitation play out at length with how much Diddy milked the death of Biggie like in Every Breath You Take.
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (Ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (Woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
The song Gorilla War by $uicideboy$ and Ramirez talks about getting a bag repeatedly in the course. Also in Otis with Kanye and Jay-Z their lyrics talk about going gorilla (I talk about this song more further down), so it could be referring to this as well. It seems like Gambino is trying to pull out lyrics from all across the rap culture and embed them in his song to highlight the ‘cultural compression’.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like, yeah (Yeah)
I'm so dope like, yeah (Woo)
We gon' blow like, yeah (Straight up, uh)
I think that all of the school kids in the video represent all of the rappers that are signed with these big labels. Which is interesting because they are the ones facilitating the guns for the moguls in the video. You can see that the mogul is really focused on the kids and gets agitated and directs them to follow him whenever they stray off a bit like they are his pupils, or like he owns them. Then all of a sudden the camera comes into a scene where you can see more kids shooting a rap video and all shooting money from a Supreme gun. The camera zooms out almost to show you that this is the mogul’s whole rap empire they are looking over, all of their kids in one place (this empire already includes some chaos in the background). It’s subtle but hilarious, Gambino puts fricken chickens on the ground where the kids are filming the rap video. He is directly calling all of these rappers complete chickens for playing up this lifestyle and being the cause of so much chaos rather than coming out and telling somebody what’s really going on. Trying to get their money over everything else.
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Get your— Black man)
This is where things start to get interesting. Gambino is literally saying, go tell somebody about this! We all know what’s happening, why don’t you go let people know how bad it is? But like Jaguar Wright said, who do you tell when these moguls have the cops and feds paid off? This video is literally Gambino putting it all out there in this extremely popular song for everyone to see but yet we still just see the dancing and the violent chaos of people and police in the streets and not the root cause that is hidden in plain sight.
The vast majority of those who reviewed this video until now think this scene represents the tragic church shooting in Charleston in 2015. I think it does, but we also have to look at this from an angle of compression.
The people in the choir are all of the people who are currently singing the rap mogul’s praises and who are focused on going and getting what’s owed to them, get their money (who are also profiting off of the dead fellows music since it goes back to the original tune). You can see that each choir member has a distinct look to them. Think about who you are hearing about now who is about to be implicated in these freak offs and evil deeds. Is that Will Smith in the back left corner!? The short bald fellow in the front left maybe Kevin Hart? Rick Ross or TD Jakes maybe the bigger guy towards the back right? When the camera zooms in on the choir right at first to show their faces, doesn’t the guy in the bottom middle look like an uncanny version of Jordan Peele? Or is that meant to be Cuba Gooding Jr? Then just like the guitar fellow at the beginning, bang. You may be singing Diddy’s praises now, but he will cut you down whenever he suddenly feels like it.
I think almost for sure this initial section of the music video is Gambino acting as Diddy, because right after he shoots the choir, he does the elbow pump/chicken dance. At 3:14 in Diddy’s video for P.E. 2000 he does the chicken dance (he is up first in the video and I think Gambino is trying to say here I first present to you the first public enemy of 3 in this song). That elbow dance signals that it was Diddy and this is the end of his section.
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Slim Jxmmi & Quavo]
This is America (Woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Woo, woo, don't catch you slippin' now)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' now (Slime!)
There have been many accounts of celebrities being given fancy cars after suffering abuse at the hands of these moguls. So these lyrics are saying that you better not slip up and tell people what’s really going on. And if you don’t look at this sweet carecord deal/movie contract I am going to give you. Beiber told this story about Diddy wanting to give him a luxury car.
Now suddenly, the dance switches from the chicken dance to a sudden bicep flex to signal us that we have now moved on from Gambino representing Diddy to our next mogul.
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, 21 Savage & BlocBoy JB]
This next chunk of the video is all about Jay-Z. I think this is the case because he throws his arms up in a bicep flex just like Jay does in the Otis music video at 2:38. And it makes sense Gambino would pick a dance move from a video with a huge American flag in the background to fit the ‘This is America’ theme. Gambino is mocking him saying, who are you really, the pretty guy or this hard gangster like Gambino shows in his dancing. Also right before they pan to the kids on the balcony, Bino also does Jay-Z’s signature lip curl look a couple times so we know it’s him and to signal the end of his section.
Look how I'm geekin' out (Hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
Jay-Z is famous for making the fitted Yankees cap famous, it’s his signature look. More signs this verse is about Jay.
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
Jay-Z has been seen in full wallpaper Gucci sweat suits but could also be referring to Gucci Mane who he hung out with at Beyonce’s tour around the time this song was released.
I'm so pretty (Yeah, yeah, woo)
I'm gon' get it (Ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (Blaow)
These lines are probably referring to Jay-Z having a hidden preference for men, especially with the way Gambino flicks his wrist in the video when he says I’m so pretty.
This a celly (Ha)
That's a tool (Yeah)
On my Kodak (Woo) Black
I think that “this a celly, that’s a tool” harkens back to 2Pac’s lyrics in Changes where he sings, “They get jealous when they see ya with your mobile phone” then shortly after that he sings about the sound of his tool, referring to shooting a gun. But Childish flips these lyrics on their head. He is saying that it’s really the phone that’s a tool to be using, not a gun. And pans up and shows (the school kids specifically) on the balcony filming everything going on below. He’s telling the kids/other rappers, use your phone as a tool, you can record these bad deeds when you get blackmailed into being at the freak off. That’s how you can kill them and their career, not with a gun. Go tell somebody! There is also the reference to Kodak which plays into the picture taking theme, but also because Kodak Black has been accused of assaulting a teenage girl in a hotel room. So we have a good idea of what Gambino suggests all the kids start filming and collecting evidence of.
Ooh, know that (Yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (Woo, get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Now we are onto Drake’s part. In the video Gambino starts doing the BlocBoy JB dance called Shoot. Drake is known for doing these little viral dance moves like in Hotline Bling. But not only that, this dance is also used in the song that both BlocBoy JB and Drake collaborate on for their video Look Alive. It starts at 2:07 in the Look Alive video. So this is Drake’s dance to signal his part is now starting.
Note this is where the pale horse rides by also potentially saying that Drake is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Interestingly, Drake’s collab with BlocBoy JB was pretty much the apocalypse for BlocBoy’s career, who hasn’t had a hit since.
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (Hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (Contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (Woah)
They gonna find you like "blocka" (Blaow)
Again, we know this is Drake’s section because his song 10 bands starts out by saying “10 bands, 50 bands, 100 bands” almost identical to Bino’s lyrics here. Also Blocka was famously used by Biggie in his song Gimme the Loot which could be referring to Biggie's demise like Pac’s and making money from his death. Everything in this industry originates from pushing drugs, which has been alleged through the trafficking that Diddy, Jay-Z and Drake do through their private jets likely connected to their bosses, the Clive Davises and Lucian Grainges of the world. This escalates rap beefs and the whole culture to the next level where murder is often a consequence for young rappers in their prime when international drug lord money is involved.
An interesting point is this is the only time where Childish was about to shoot someone in the video, but where he didn’t have a school kid either handing him the gun or taking it away carefully from him. (Maybe also a diss at Drake that even though he acts hard he doesn’t shoot, he gets his horseman of the apocalypse to do his dirty deeds for him instead perhaps?). This is the beginning of the end for the rap mogul as he no longer has his kids doing his bidding for him. A simple message to show how the violence can be stopped, that these shootings can end when the kids stop enabling them. So then as soon as he can’t react in that moment and shoot someone his anger is forced to chill out, as shown by smoking a J, and to go back to exploiting the dead man’s music instead. If you don’t put a gun in someone’s hand when they are heated, those feelings too shall pass - kinda feel.
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list, and
You mothafuckas owe me
Whose voice does that sound like!? It sounds a lot like Diddy to me, public enemy #1. This is basically saying that the moguls are the ones who we all owe it to for all of this glorified gun violence in America. That we owe them way more follows and likes for what a massive influence they have had on the violence and chaos we see in America today.
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
(1, 2, 3—get down)
In Moneybagg Yo’s song 1, 2, 3, he also has a line that says “1, 2, 3, let’s go!” in a similar vein.
But something interesting I came across was Nas’s song Get Down where they use a sample from James Brown's “The Boss” that sounds extremely similar to the way Gambino screams “Get Down!” Which would fit well if the guitar singer from the beginning is meant to be Nas and Pac doing Thugz Mansion.
Also make sure you check out Nas’s song Get Down so that you can hear how much Jay-Z outright copied this song for The Story of OJ. From the musical structure with the piano and interwoven samples right down to the theme reiterated by the sample at the end of Nas’s song: “If that’s how our people are gonna get down, how are we ever gonna get up?”
SZA
Finally to wrap up the video, I have been stumped for a long time as to why SZA is randomly at the end of this video sitting on one of the cars. But I think I finally know why and it reconfirms that this last scene is all about Drake. If you watch Drake’s music video for Worst Behavior (not very Canadian of him to spell behaviour that way I might add) you will see Drake rapping and dancing with a few cars surrounding him and one of those cars has other rappers making cameos in it. In Gambino’s video SZA represents that car with a famous cameo. I think this is further confirmed when the black edges of the video start closing inwards at the end of This is America, the exact same way that Worst Behavior ends. So why SZA as the cameo then? Cause it reminds people that Drake is a p*do.
This is from an article in the Rolling Stone: In 2020, Drake revealed publicly that he and SZA had dated over a decade ago, well before she was an established artist (her earliest music goes back to around 2012; her critical breakthrough, Ctrl, came in 2017). On 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now,” Drake rapped about a newer fling who was a fan of SZA’s: “Yeah, said she wanna fuck to some SZA, wait / ‘Cause I used to date SZA back in ’08 / If you cool with it, baby, she can still play.” A few days later, SZA responded, corroborating Drake’s claim with a slight correction: they dated in 2009, when both would have been over 18. Since SZA would not have turned 18 until late 2008, she wanted to set the record straight. “in this case a year of poetic rap license mattered 🥴lol I think he jus innocently rhymed 08 w wait [sic],” she tweeted. “I just didn’t want anybody thinking anything underage or creepy was happening . Completely innocent . Lifetimes ago . [sic]”
If you have to specifically say something isn’t creepy and distance yourself from it being lifetimes ago, it usually is creepy. Drake would’ve been 22 when she was 17. Metro Boomin also happens to be on the Mr. Right Now track. He is currently in trouble for resurfaced old tweets showing how Metro used to tweet disgusting things about what he wanted to do to underage girls. Interestingly, Metro Boomin is also now beefing with Drake.
Drake doing his dance on the car of the original musician’s music seems to be accusing Drake directly of stealing 2Pac’s music. Orlando Brown recently said the cryptic statement that “Drake is Pac” which likely means he stole 2Pac’s approach/style/audience after his death. Gambino did some good foreshadowing here too with the recent AI release Drake put out of 2Pac.
This dance scene also signals that the Drake section is now over.
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No, probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
The outro lyrics speak to how these gatekeepers keep black men down and control them with things like being forced to wear a dress to become famous or to submit to homosexual/p*do acts.. In the video, as I mentioned above, the black edges close in on Drake’s dancing scene in This is America. But they don’t completely close and end things like they do in the Worst Behavior video. Instead, in Gambino’s video, the camera pans to show the mogul running for his life with Young Thug’s lyrics almost like a quiet echo in the background. He isn’t running from the cops though, he’s running from the kids and from the public. When I mentioned earlier that the kids not handing over the last gun before Drake’s scene signalled the beginning of the end for the moguls, this is that conclusion. Where it is showing that if all the kids come together to stop enabling and rather expose the moguls, people will be chasing these bastards down once we realize what has been going on behind the curtain. Then the song that Young Thug is singing can just be a quiet echo of the way things were in the past.
If you don’t think Gambino would be this deep and that I went too far down the rabbit hole, do a Google search on the calculations that he came up with for why he sings about loving until 3005 in his song. He seems to go real deep with his lyrics. So a big question this leaves us with is, what did Childish Gambino witness in the rap industry? His whole rap career plays out like he is trying to avoid industry norms.
Even in Sweatpants, he has lyrics like:
No hands like soccer teams and y'all fuck boys like Socrates
You niggas ain't coppin' these, niggas ain't lookin' like me (Nah)
Nah, I ain't checkin' I.D. (Nah), but I bounce 'em with no problem
Seems like he is trying to make it really clear across his catalogue of music that he isn’t a p*do but that other rappers are. Where he is saying that he doesn’t need to ID his potential partners because he can tell they are obviously too young and that’s not hard to do.
Tell 'em, Problem (Problem!)
I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)...
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain
So who was trying to paint him as a villain, Drake? And that’s why the diss was originally meant for him?
Don't be mad 'cause I'm doing me better than you doing you…
Better than you doing you
Fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)
He’s taunting the other rappers cause he knows they can’t say shit if they are creeps. He has the same sentiment in Bonfire “It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out, I’m burning everything you mother fuckers talk about.”
Childish Gambino has always refrained from talking about the meaning of This is America whenever he is asked, and I can only assume that all of this is why.
Little Foot Big Foot
Now with his new release, Little Foot Big Foot and applying cultural compression to it, it has me wondering if he is referring to Megan Thee Stallion and the Nicki beef? People like Nicki (calling Megan Big Foot) have been claiming for some time she wasn’t even shot in the foot by Tory Lanez. There were many people laughing and making fun of Megan over getting shot. Which could be an interesting story for Childish to tell to represent how crazy this violent culture has gotten that people just laugh and blame the victim now when you get shot. Also a good metaphor for things like ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ for not having a lawyer look over potentially predatory industry contracts like in the beginning of his video. That you want to get in the cool kids club so bad you overlook it. Not as sure on this one though since the song just came out and I have only heard it a few times.
One last thing that is really interesting, there have been tons of artists on podcasts like Shay Shay talking about the strings these ultra rich moguls can pull. Like buying awards or gatekeeping people from being in the industry at all. There was even a story, I think maybe it was Gene Deal who told it, that when Killer Mike won at the grammys that Jay-Z was so angry he made sure to mess up his night by getting him locked up as soon as he left the awards stage. These moguls are extremely powerful and have an incredible amount of sway in the world/industry. If you check out Gambino’s profile on Youtube, his old music videos keep getting taken down, like Bonfire for example is just gone. Fans have been having to upload the videos themselves. There is a reply to a comment, on one of the fan uploaded vids, from Gambino’s account himself when someone asks why the videos are being taken down. His account just replies “Noone knows why :(“ Seems a bit odd all things considered and like maybe he has been at the mercy of these gatekeepers for going against the system.
I am so curious to know what the rest of you think about all of this!

LONG POST WARNING
Hello everyone,
My partner (24F) and I (25M) returned home from our 3-week Japan trip last week and due to us using this sub a lot during our planning I thought it would be helpful for other current planners to upload a trip report.
Our main interests are Japanese traditions and history, street style/culture, and food so keep reading if these interests are mutual. Read to the bottom to see how much we spent plus some tips and disappointments.
Prelude
We were caught up in the madness at Dubai airport during our layover. Long story short; Airport (and the rest of Dubai) flooded and caused all the flights to be cancelled. What was meant to be a 5-hour layover turned into a torturous 36 hour wait. No staff to be seen, crowds of people arguing, fighting, and crying. We queued for 12 hours to get a new boarding pass for the next flight to Japan. We were meant to fly to Haneda but settled for Narita as we needed to get out of that place as soon as possible but still ended up missing our first day in Tokyo (should have had 5 days). We can’t complain too much as some of the people I spoke to on emirates were in the airport for up to 5 days before getting a flight back to their departure destination. Oh, and our baggage was missing with us only receiving our checked in bags on day 19. Cheers Emirates.
Day 1
Arrived in Shinjuku around midnight. We went straight to Don Quiojte to buy some replacement cosmetics and clothes. The combination of no good-quality sleep for 48 hours and the stimulating nature of the store was very intense! We then started to walk back towards the hostel and passed a Ichiran, so dropped in for some 2am ramen. Not the best ramen I’ve ever had but was still very good for the price.
Steps: 21,643 (includes some airport steps)
Day 2
Woke up and ate the free breakfast at the hostel (this turned out to be a really good money saver for the whole trip as we are not huge eaters in the morning anyway, but it was good to get something light in us before a long day walking). We then walked through the Shinjuku Gyoen Garden – saw some late blooming cheery blossoms and overall, it was a really beautiful botanical garden.
The next stop was Meji Shrine and a walk through Yoyogi park. The shrine was cool to see, especially as it was our first one in Japan. Saw a middle-aged man wearing denim hotpants so short that his balls were hanging out?!?!
Walked to Shibuya to see the scramble. This was cool but also felt it was a bit underwhelming at ground level but the view from Shibuya station walkway was wicked. Lunch was at a conveyor belt sushi place on the top floor of this department store right next to the scramble. This would be higher than average quality sushi in Europe, so it blew our minds that it was available on the top floor of a department store and for so cheap.
Shimokitazawa – We picked up some bargains at 2^nd street and I treated myself some Japanese jeans from a small Demin shop called Bears. The guy in the shop was super helpful and friendly and even tailored the trousers to exactly my size.
In the evening, we first had a poke around Golden Gai and then headed towards Shibuya and stopped in a cool bar where the owner was mixing vinyl while he mixed your drinks (think it was called Q Bar).
We had previously bought tickets to a gig at Circus for one of my fav rappers who I’d been wanting to see for a while. Also really enjoyed seeing the local Japanese warm up acts. Stayed until 5am and then go the train straight to the Tsukiji outer fish market. Was there way too early and had to wait roughly an hour for thing to open. Went to chill by a bench for a bit and by the time we went back to the market it was rammed! Went to bed around 8:30am.
Steps: 32,159
Day 3
We woke up at 2:30pm, got ready, and headed to the Bunkyo civic centre for the free observation deck. We heard it wasn’t meant to be the best Tokyo skyline view but for a free attraction we thought it was very good! Jimbocho book town was also very cool to see. We had a peak into a couple adult movie/magazine stores where I don’t think the owner appreciated our presence as western tourists.
In the evening, we first went for Ramen at Motenashi Kuraki in Asakusa Bashi. Honestly probably the best Ramen I’ve had to date. I ordered the Black Pepper Shio special, and it blew my mind. Even though the staff didn’t speak English they were very accommodating for my partner who doesn’t eat meat (pescetarian but will brave a meaty broth).
We then had a stroll around Akihabara and played some dance mat games in the arcades before heading back for an earlyish night.
Steps: 28,680
Day 4
I couldn’t sleep so got up around 3am and did some admin stuff to try and get our bags back to us ASAP. Chatted to people in the hostel for a few hours.
We arrived at Senso-ji for around 8am. Wasn’t too busy at this time and the temple was impressive. Went for a coffee down the road and had a chill for about an hour before heading into Asakusa. Got admission to the Drum museum which was wicked. Only 400 yen each and had the whole place to ourselves to smack some big fucking drums and make as much noise as we wanted.
We then started to head towards Ueno but made a slight detour to Kappabashi Dougu street to peruse the Japanese chef knives and other cookware. Grabbed lunch from a 7/11 and went and sat in Ueno park which was super busy. There was some food market event on which loads of food stalls had set up. There was also a stage with some J-pop performers and people dressed as ninjas dancing in the crowd. Weird to say the least. By mid-afternoon we were pretty tired so headed back to the hostel for a nap.
In the evening, we headed down to Harajuku and stopped by Big Love records. My partner is really into vinyl, so this was definitely a highlight for her. She picked up Wu Tang 36 chambers in case you were wondering. We then went for food at Afuri as my partner wanted to try the Vegan ramen to which she said it was ok but nothing special. My cold dipping noodle dish was very tasty, however. We then stumbled across this vinyl listening bar called Bar Music on the 5^th floor of this pokey building on the outskirts of Shibuya for a few drinks before bed. There was such a good vibe in there and the cocktails were super good for the price. If you’re looking for a romantic spot, then this is the place to go.
Steps: 31,818
Day 5
Today we headed to Kyoto on the shinkansen around midday after a slow morning chilling in and around the hostel and catching up on some sleep. Checked in to the hostel and had a walk around downtown Kyoto, stopping at 2^nd Street to buy some more clothes.
In the evening, we headed to Kodai-Ji to see the shrine lit up at night. We couldn’t believe how few people were there as it was stunning and truly magical place to be at night. It also has a bamboo grove (much better than Arashiyama, see below). The bar for Kyoto shrines/temples had been set very high.
Walked down Pontocho alley and stopped at a yakitori restaurant which was just ok. We knew it was going to be average when we looked around the restaurant and it was just western tourists dining.
Steps: 25,255
Day 6
First thing in the morning we rented bikes and cycled across the city to Arashiyama. Parked the bikes at the train station and walked up through Arashiyama. We were expecting it to be busy but there were so many people it was almost impossible to move. Had a look around the bamboo grove and was slightly underwhelmed after our visit to Kodai-Ji so we took the tram and then bus up to Kosan-Ji. This was very much worth the 45-minute journey as there was only one other group there and the temple nestled between the trees overlooking the river was breath-taking. On the whole, Arashiyama was way too packed during peak times to enjoy and with everything else Kyoto has to offer we wouldn’t say it was a must see.
We then picked up the bikes from the train station and cycled back across Kyoto taking the long route to explore and get lost. Once we dropped off the bikes, we went for another explore and this time went into WeGo for more clothes shopping. At this point we’d pretty much matched the amount of clothing that we had packed in our checked-in luggage that was still stuck in Dubai.
After a nap we walked towards the metro and stopped at a Katsu restaurant as we wanted to try something different, and it was pretty good. For the price of 1300 yen each we got so much food/sake and left stuffed.
Fushimi Inari in the evening. Like Kodai-Ji, we would recommend visiting Fushimi Inari at night. Firstly, to help avoid the crowds (we got there around 9pm and there was hardly anybody there) and secondly as seeing it lit up at night is a nice change. It was however slightly creepy at night, especially as it was lightly raining. My partner started to get a bit scared once we saw the signs to be careful of the wild boar and monkeys haha. We didn’t make it to the top of Mt Inari as the rain started to get heavy but still very much enjoyed walking through the hundreds of tori gates, stopping off at the shrines and soaking up the history.
Steps: 23,686
Day 7
Today was a late start as even after 8 hours sleep the 25k plus steps a day was starting to catch up with us.
We took the metro to Shimogamo Shrine in north Kyoto. It was very peaceful and quiet however temple fatigue had definitely set in at this point. We then walked through Kyoto to the beginning of Philosophers path. We had seen on this sub that people recommend skipping it unless its Sakura season however we disagree. The path along the river is so pretty and atmospheric, along with the fish gently swimming along in the river.
Kyoto Hand Crafts Centre – if you have the money then this is a great place to pick up souvenirs.
Pre-booked Sushi Iwa for a 15 course Omakase. The food was amazing, but it came to an eye watering 28k yen each. The difference for our western palettes between mid-range sushi and exceptional sushi is negligible. Nonetheless it was a good experience and I’m glad that we did it.
Steps: 23,751
Day 8
Today was an empty day in terms of things we wanted to do, so used it to walk the city and explore.
We checked out the Nishiki market and ate various fried foods on sticks which were all pretty tasty. We then walked northwards, stopping for coffee before reaching the imperial palace. By this point we were very much bored of temples and structures of similar architecture, but we actually ended up enjoying walking the palace grounds and seeing the buildings more than we thought and would recommend it to those who find themselves in north Kyoto.
A leisurely walk back down towards downtown Kyoto, stopping off at a wicked standing soba joint. Forgotten the name but their curry soba was delicious.
Chao Chao gyozas (only veggie gyoza place we could find) for our evening meal before a night cap at the bar across the road before bed.
Steps: 23,304
Day 9
Shinkansen to Hiroshima arriving around 11am.
Checked into hostel and then went straight to the A-dome, peace memorial and museum. We thought the museum was very moving and captured the horror of the events that unfolded very well. A must see for sure.
Okonomiyaki at Okonomimura and then some vintage clothes shopping in Hondori.
Went back out for food in the evening and ended up getting Okonomiyaki again. This time it we enjoyed it a lot more than we did at lunch (probably because we got it covered in cheese). There are a few streets by Hiroshima station with lots of bars and restaurants on top of each other, much like Golden Gai in Shinjuku, however they are not super touristy and has a more laid-back feel to them.
We then went to some bars in the city centre. The best one we stumbled across was called Tropical Bar Revolucion. It was on the 8^th floor and the smoking balcony overlooked the city. Plus, the beers in there tasted so good and I’m not sure why.
Steps: 23,299
Day 10
A hungover morning. Headed to the Hiroshima National Gardens. Going to some gardens is my go-to hangover activity as its low effort, relaxing, and feels productive. These gardens in particular were great and we really appreciated the signs explaining the history behind the space. Overall, we enjoyed this more than the national gardens in Shinjuku.
Public baths near Dobashi in the afternoon. If you’re feeling brave enough to get your kit off in front of 10s of strangers, then this is a good experience. Male and female baths are separate. Can’t go wrong for 400 yen.
Went for a drink at Bar Pretty and then realised the effect of golden week on trying to get a table walking into a restaurant. Walked around for about an hour with no success so settled for food from a department store food court. Sounds miserable but the food was pretty good for the price, and it was busy in there, so it still had an atmosphere.
Steps: 29,487
Day 11
Miyajima Day. Took the ferry to the island arriving at 10:30am. The Ryokan staff met us at the port and collected our bags to take back to the hotel.
Had a mooch around the port area before doing the hike up Mt Misen. The climb to the top on a hot day is not to be underestimated. Sweating buckets, but the route and the view from the top was amazing and one of the standout highlights of the whole trip.
After descending Mt Misen, we bought some beers, oysters and, ice cream and sat along the beach wall and chilled in the sun for a couple hours. The hotel staff then picked us up from the ferry terminal, we checked in and went straight to the Onsen for a couple hours before dinner. Dinner was a traditional kaiseki meal (with more courses than I can remember) served in the banquet hall with the other guests.
While the staff converted our retro ryokan room and set up the futons we had a few more beers before bed.
Steps: 20,803
Day 12
Today we had a chilled morning on the island, having a stroll and stopping for some coffees. We then took the ferry back to Hiroshima, stopping for Okonomiyaki one more time, before taking the shinkansen to Osaka.
Checked into our hostel near Namba and went out for a walk around 8pm. When looking for somewhere to eat we walked past a sign for a vegetarian Indian restaurant called Shama. After nearly two weeks of pure Japanese food we were craving some variety so decided to head in. Located on the basement floor of a particularly run down looking building the restaurant was not the most glamorous. Barely enough space for 10 people, it was hot in there. A constant stream of people was coming in and out of the restaurant and we were lucky enough to walk in when there were two spaces available. From sitting down at the table to receiving our food we waited just under an hour. This would be enough to put most people off but fuck me the food was good when it did finally arrive. We got a selection of 4 different curries, naan breads and samosa. We left stuffed. If you’re in the area this is definitely a place worth checking out.
Steps: 25,502
Day 13
Our first stop of the day was the Umeda Sky Building. Not suitable if you are scared of heights as the glass elevator made our stomachs drop slightly. The views were impressive but we thought the price was a bit steep at 1500 yen each.
We then spent the afternoon wondering about near Namba and Shinsujibashi dropping into shops and picking up some food.
For dinner we made a reservation for a Mexican restaurant near Dotonbori. Massive margheritas, nachos and enchiladas. The food was great, and it shows by how busy the place was still at 10pm. It had been open since the late 70’s with the décor to match and it had a great atmosphere.
Steps: 27,290
Day 14
Checked out Tsuruhashi and Korea Town. Loved the market – dimly lit maze of numerous food and clothing vendors. Stopped to have some Korean stew and pancakes and it was delicious. One of the best meals of the trip.
Shinsekai in the evening. What I can describe as the armpit of Osaka. We loved it. Dirty? Yes. Rowdy? Yes. Rough around the edges with a red light district to top it all off. We had Kushikatsu to finish the evening off. Fried stuff on a stick – of course it going to be tasty but it wasn’t exactly flavour town.
Steps: 23,777
Day 15
Took the train to Minoh and hiked up the trail to see the waterfall. Hike was easy in comparison to Mt Misen and the waterfall was very cool to see. Had a wonder around Minoh stopping for some lunch at a Ramen bar.
We went to the Team lab botanical gardens in the evening. It was very awe inspiring seeing all the installations lit up.
After sampling Japanese McDonalds (I had a burger where the buns were made out of rice) we went for some drinks at Zerro. We liked this bar a lot, the guys working there were very friendly and it had a good vibe.
We then sat and watched the skaters at triangle park with some beers from the konbini before going to see Dj Masda at Circus until around 4am. This area of Osaka was such a vibe and came back here a few times over our 6 days here. Overall, a very fun evening.
Steps: 26,130
Day 16
Woke up chronically hungover but powered on and went to see a baseball game. You’re allowed to bring food and drink into the stadium (as long as alcohol is in plastic/paper cups) so we grabbed some beers and snacks from family mart. We had no idea what was happening but the atmosphere was electric and we enjoyed getting pissed and cheering.
Had a nap and then went to Hafez for middle eastern food. The food was good but not amazing, nothing in comparison to my local middle eastern restaurant back home. Chilled around the Namba park/Big step area. Loved this area so much, we are big into street fashion and culture so this place really ticked some boxes. Lots of skaters and street wear stores concentrated around here. Got an early night watching Battle Royale back at the hostel.
Steps: 22,065
Day 17
Today we went to the Umeda area. Popped into some shopping centres and had Omurice for lunch. It was tasty but not something I will crave when back home. Good experience trying it though. We then walked through Yodoyobashi along the rivers and got gelato and sat in the rose garden. The sun was beating down and we enjoyed just chilling in the sun eating our ice cream.
Compufunk Records were holding a party in their store. Decent gaff with some very welcoming and kind people to party with until the early hours.
Steps: 21,267
Day 18
We reluctantly left Osaka for Hakone today. Very sad to go but onwards to the next adventure. Took the shinkansen to Odawara and then the Hakone Tozan Train to Gora. Checked into our Ryokan and relaxed in the Onsen for a few hours.
Went for a walk around Gora and had dinner at the Ryokan before watching Predator in bed.
Steps: 16,926
Day 19
Today we did the Hakone Loop, starting early in Gora.
Started with the Open-air museum and it was great. We loved the installation and ended up spending 3 hours slowly making our way round. Got some cool photos as well for the gram.
Ropeway to Lake Ashi. This was absolutely terrifying. You have to swap cable cars 3 times on the way over and the warnings of the service being suspended due to the wind was announced at each stop. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but one section made me literally freeze in terror due to the winds outside so try to do it on a calm weather day.
We then took the pirate boat (bit underwhelming) across the Lake and stopped for some soba noodles and a wander around. Unfortunately it was way too cloudy to even get a chance at seeing Mt Fuji.
Train to Kamakura and checked into our super cute traditional hostel near the beach.
Dinner at an Izakaya from the hostel owners recommendation. Food great and beers slipped down a treat. First time I tried Yuzu Kosho as well – I’m now addicted to the stuff and literally cover all my food with it.
Steps: 19,512
Day 20
A slow start to the morning. Weather was pretty bad but we still managed to hit all the main sights in Kamakura. Big Buddha was a refreshing sight from the temples. Did some shopping up Komachi Dori. Highlight of the day was Hukokaji temple. It was so peaceful and zen in the rain with its very own matcha tea ceremony backdropped by bamboo forest. This turned out to be our second favourite temple/shrine we visited, just being beaten by Kodaji.
In the evening we went for Sushi at a conveyor belt place. Figured this would probably be my last Japanese sushi of the trip so devoured 7000 yen worth of sushi and beer. Went back to the hostel and invited some of the other guests to drink with us. The owner of the hostel had some bayberry homebrew, so we got stuck into that.
Steps: 20,494
Day 21
Enoshima Island is just a 25 min train from Kamakura. Started off the day by walking to the top of the island to get French toast and a beer with a lovely view across the bay. We then headed up the Sea candle to check out the observation deck, still the illusive Mt Fuji hides behind the clouds.
We then bought admission to the caves beneath the island which was pretty cool. I won’t ruin the surprise but there’s something waiting for you at the end of one of the caves.
Had an explore around the rockpools near the caves and took some cool photos. We then had a pizza with fish on which was pretty crazy. Walked around the island a little bit more and I picked up some more Japanese denim which wasn’t the cheapest but the quality of the trousers are great and will last me a lifetime.
Back to Tokyo in the evening.
Went for Izakaya around Asakusa and popped into a couple bars. One was called Not Suspicious and the whole bar was covered in handwritten notes by patrons. Very touristy but quite cool at the same time. Our favourite was a drawing of Mario saying It’s a Me Muthafucka.
Steps: 25,903
Day 22
First stop was Don Quiojte to pick up some Yuzu Kosho (if you know you know) and weird flavoured KitKats.
Kappabashi Dougu street to purchase a fine Japanese carbon stell Santoku. Honestly in love with this knife so much. The people at the store were very happy to hear exactly what I was looking for and even let me try before you buy on some daikon radish.
While in Asakusa I had to return to the place where I put the best thing in my mouth in Japan. Motenashi Kuroki. Switched it up this time and had their classic Shio ramen plus the duck rice as a side. Honestly this place is amazing, and you have to go there if you have time. They aren’t veggie/pescy friendly so my partner went for one last round of sushi round the corner. We met up at a massage chair parlour and spent 30 mins relaxing in the chairs.
We had a bright idea to watch the sunset one last time so headed over to the rooftop park on a department store in Shibuya. Sipping on an ice cold Kirin, the sun slowly dropped behind the distant mountains and we knew our trip had come to an end. How symbolic.
Flight at 11pm from Haneda.
Steps: 23,187
On reflection:
I honestly think this trip was almost perfect in terms of hitting our interests and travel style. There was a good balance of doing the typical first time visit to Japan sights and activities while still exploring and seeing what we came across in the moment.
It hard to pinpoint exact highlights of the trip as everywhere we visited had so much going for it in different ways. We loved the rugged and trendy vibe to Osaka, and I think this would be the city I would most want to live in for a considerable amount of time (If I had to choose). Miyajima was also stunning and a great overnight trip with the Ryokan experience. We also underestimated how much we would enjoy Kamakura with its laid-back surfer vibe and access to Enoshima Island.
One random memorable moment that has stuck with me was when we landed at Narita airport, we took the limo bus to Shinjuku. As the driver pulled away, all the staff at the station turned and bowed in unison. It felt so special to first observe a culture totally opposite to the one I grew up with and was at this point I knew I had embarked on the trip of a lifetime.
If I could go back and change something I would probably miss out Hakone and do an extra day in one of the major cities. This isn’t because we didn’t enjoy Hakone, but we feel like it’s a place that needs more time to soak in what’s going on around you (plus the weather was bad when we were there). This being said the Open-Air Museum was amazing and we enjoyed it more than the Teamlab botanical gardens so the trip up the mountains was worth it just for that.
So, how much did we spend per person (not inc flights)?
Accommodation - £765pp
Given that we spent a couple nights in Ryokans raising the average price slightly, we were pretty happy with the accommodation costs. We stayed in a mix of private room and shared dorm hostels and pretty much all of them were spot on. Travelling as a couple meant that anywhere with a private room split the price between 2. The only hostel we didn’t like was the one in Hiroshima, there wasn’t anything in particularly wrong with it, there was just a really bad vibe from the owner and other guests.
Transport - £344pp
This includes shinkansen to and from all the major cities as well as our suica top ups for metros and buses. Unless your itinerary is something like 3 days Tokyo, 2 days Osaka 2 days Kyoto then there really isn’t any point getting the JR pass now that the price has increased.
Activities – £280pp
It is hard to give an exact amount for activities and food as 1) I didn’t track what we spent our cash on and 2) my partner and I would take in turns paying for things like temple admission. That being said I’ve allocated 25% of the cash we spent to activities such as temple admission. Activities includes our baseball tickets plus club entries as well as temple and museum admissions etc.
Food – £962pp
As above, its hard to give an exact amount for food. On the whole we tried to eat cheap with possible, especially at the start of our trip. There were a few expensive meals peppered in plus we ate out twice a day towards the end of our trip as we realised we were under budget.
The total is a bit skewed as this includes all the alcohol we bought in bars as well as the konbini trips for beers and cigarettes. I estimate that booze accounts for around a third of the total per person. If you would like to do Japan on a budget, reducing the booze will make a big difference.
Shopping/Souvenirs/Gifts – £607 (just me)
We went hard with the shopping. We didn’t actually receive our checked in luggage until day 19 so we had to buy all new clothes and cosmetics. If this wasn’t the case, then I don’t think I would have spent so much (airline is comping us for the additional clothing bought anyway). I also bought a fairly expensive chef knife and Japanese denim pieces, plus lots of gifts for friends and family. Obviously, this number could theoretically 0 if you are on a serious budget and did no shopping but I really underestimated Japanese shopping, especially thrifting. Also, given our cheap choices when it came to accommodation we could afford to splurge. However just to note my partner spent less than half than I did on shopping.
Total: £2958 (582,628 yen at time of writing)
I kept within my budget of £3000. I definitely got a bit frivolous with the cash in the last few days or so, if being as careful as I was towards the start of the trip, I think the total would be closer to £2500.
Disappointments
Takoyaki. We thought it was going to be all about the octopus but were disappointed with our balls of sloppy goo surrounding tiny chewy pieces of octopus. We tried it twice and couldn’t get behind it. Sorry Takoyaki fans.
Arashiyama. Way too busy, especially around the main station and bamboo grove. If it’s the bamboo you are going to see, then Kodaji is a much better spot.
Dotonburi. Albeit we were there in golden week, and it was pretty busy. However, I get the feeling this area has fallen to the past its golden days title and has become a bit of a cash cow for places selling spiralised potatoes on a stick. The area around Namba park was a better option for us.
Tips
Konbini. Absolute life saver for snacks and drinks on the go. The food quality for a convenience store is higher than most other countries so we had no problem with grabbing a meal from one to help keep within our budget.
Don’t over pack – even though we didn’t get our checked in bags, I still packed light so had plenty of space to bring stuff back. Emirates give you your allowance by weight rather than number of baggage so we could check in additional bags on the way back.
Don’t be scared of hostels. If you don’t want to brave the shared dorms, then most hostels offer private rooms with just the shower and toilet shared. Obviously, it’s cheaper if there are two people sharing a room.
Don’t stress about cash. Most places take debit/credit card and if they don’t, you’re never more than 5 minutes from a konbini ATM.
For us, golden week didn’t seem that big of an issue. No problems booking shinkansen around GW. We spent most of GW in Osaka, as such it was going to be busy anyway so maybe we didn’t see much of a difference from normal numbers in the spring.

How To Use GPS Data To Fight Speeding Tickets

Have you ever felt annoyed after seeing those flashing blue lights in your rearview mirror? We all admire and respect the essential role police officers play in our society. Their daily sacrifices to maintain our safety are truly commendable. Yet, a twinge of frustration often accompanies traffic citations, whether for speeding or illegal turns. With officers using sophisticated tech like radar guns to track vehicle speed, it may seem like there's no defense. But did you know that the same kind of technology can help you contest traffic citations? Many motorists are now leveraging GPS navigation and tracking systems to fight tickets, whether through a trial by declaration or a court trial. This trend is turning the tables in the courtroom, transforming the way we approach traffic violations. In this article, we will discuss how to use GPS data to fight speeding tickets!
Learn more about GPS tracking here: https://gpstrackershop.com/

Video: 6 Ways How to Use GPS Data to Fight Speeding Tickets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pWJzIDW3D8&t=1s

When GPS Misguides You: Are Police Sympathetic to Tech Errors?

Ever made a wrong turn because your GPS told you to? You're not alone. Many motorists find themselves in this predicament, pulled over for moving violations, often claiming, "My GPS made me do it". Relying heavily on GPS navigation, either through portable units or smartphone apps like Google Maps or iMaps, is an everyday routine for many. But how reliable are these systems?
Sadly, even highly-rated apps can lead you astray. Remember when iMaps notoriously directed drivers to the wrong locations or even one-way streets? Such mistakes have happened more times than you might imagine. But what happens when these inaccuracies cause you to make an illegal turn? Who bears the blame?
Even when your trusted app fumbles, you, as the motorist, carry the responsibility for the final decision. Sounds unfair, right? Yet, that's how it stands. Yes, police may sympathize with the occasional GPS-induced mishap, but accountability doesn't shift. At the end of the day, it's the driver who's held responsible.
Ever wonder what police officers think of these GPS blunders? One anonymous officer shared, "As drivers, we've all got a myriad of excuses. But the bottom line is, the person behind the wheel is accountable. Remember, it's not the smartphone or GPS that holds the driver's license."
Want to avoid a ticket? It's not about passing the blame but accepting accountability. Believe it or not, officers tend to be more lenient towards drivers who own up to their mistakes rather than blaming their GPS or tracking device. Interesting, isn't it?

How To Prove To Police You Weren't Speeding

Do you realize how commonplace GPS tracking devices are in today's vehicles? More than ever, they're becoming a staple in both company and personal cars. These devices aren't just ornamental; they play a crucial role in improving vehicle theft protection and driver safety. Additionally, they're an attractive bonus for those eyeing an auto insurance discount.
But have you ever thought of using your GPS device to contest a speeding ticket? More and more drivers are doing just that. Why? Because these trackers do more than just provide location data. They record your speed, location, and journey duration - all in real time and with a stunning accuracy that refreshes every single second!
Impressed? There's more. You'd be surprised to learn that these devices may even outperform the traditional radar gun held by a police officer. Calibration issues, interference from highway overpasses, or the officer's hiding spot could all affect the radar gun's accuracy. Meanwhile, your GPS tracker's data remains precise and reliable. Who knew GPS technology could be your unexpected ally in a speeding dispute?
Related Article: Best GPS Trackers For Law Enforcement

5 Ways To Use GPS Tracking To Fight A Speeding Ticket

Getting a speeding ticket absolutely sucks. But you know what's worse? Getting a ticket when you weren't actually driving over the posted speed limit. Thankfully, GPS tracking can help. In this section, we will discover some innovative ways your tracking device can help fight your corner. Below are 5 ways your GPS system can help with contesting a speeding violation.

1. Proof of Speed: Your GPS device diligently records your speed at every moment of your journey. This detailed log can provide concrete evidence of your speed at the exact time the alleged violation took place.
2. Route Verification: Were you on a different road when the incident occurred? Your GPS tracker traces your route with precision. Its data could demonstrate you were elsewhere when the offense allegedly happened.
3. Time-Stamped Data: All GPS data is time-stamped, making it easy to correlate your location, speed, and the time of the alleged violation. This accurate chronology could prove essential in disputing a ticket.
4. Calibration Check: In contrast to a police officer's radar gun, which could suffer from calibration issues, your GPS device provides a more accurate and consistent measure of speed. Use this precision to challenge the reliability of the speed detected by the radar gun.
5. Data Log Persistence: Most GPS car trackers keep a history of their data. This historical log can help to establish a pattern of safe driving, potentially increasing your credibility in the courtroom.

By integrating these strategies, your GPS device can become a powerful tool in your defense against a speeding ticket

FAQs

Can GPS Tracking Data Be Used As Evidence In A Traffic Court Hearing?

Yes, GPS tracking data can be used as evidence in a traffic court hearing. If you have a GPS tracking device installed in your vehicle or have a GPS-enabled smartphone, the data collected by these devices can be used to prove your innocence or cast doubt on the accusations against you. However, it's important to note that the admissibility of GPS evidence may vary depending on the jurisdiction and specific circumstances of the case.

How Can GPS Tracking Data Help In Disputing A Traffic Ticket?

GPS tracking data can help in disputing a traffic ticket by providing a record of your vehicle's location and speed at the time of the alleged violation. This data can be used to prove that you were not in the location where the violation supposedly occurred or that you were not driving at the speed that you were accused of. Additionally, GPS data can also provide information about traffic patterns and road conditions that may have contributed to the violation.

What Types Of Traffic Violations Can GPS Data Be Used To Dispute?

GPS tracking data can be used to dispute a variety of traffic violations, including speeding tickets, red light violations, and stop sign violations. GPS data can also be used to dispute accusations of reckless driving, DUI, and other serious traffic offenses.How To Use GPS Data To Fight Speeding Tickets
Have you ever felt annoyed after seeing those flashing blue lights in your rearview mirror? We all admire and respect the essential role police officers play in our society. Their daily sacrifices to maintain our safety are truly commendable. Yet, a twinge of frustration often accompanies traffic citations, whether for speeding or illegal turns. With officers using sophisticated tech like radar guns to track vehicle speed, it may seem like there's no defense. But did you know that the same kind of technology can help you contest traffic citations? Many motorists are now leveraging GPS navigation and tracking systems to fight tickets, whether through a trial by declaration or a court trial. This trend is turning the tables in the courtroom, transforming the way we approach traffic violations. In this article, we will discuss how to use GPS data to fight speeding tickets!

My girlfriend and I had been happily (or so I thought) living together for six months in an apartment then another 6 in a rented house (with 6 months left and no way to cut the lease). We fought very little in that time, we had chemistry like crazy, and we supported one another in our respective careers. We’d take care of each other when we were sick and do anything for each other. We’d go on trips with respective family and both sides were asking when I’d pop the question. And it was soon, I was starting to look for engagement rings. We would regularly talk about what our wedding will be like, the honeymoon, how we’ll raise kids, etc. The only time we had tension was when I went a little too far on my drinking, we would occasionally get crossways when I went too far. This happened maybe three or four times over the course of the 2 year relationship. Bear in mind I’m 5’ 3” and 140 lbs sopping wet, so alcohol works fast on me, hangovers were a regular occurrence over the weekends. She seemingly put up with it and even when I’d say I need to stop, or actively try to stop, she’d just say “as long as you’re not driving.” She’d drink with me often, but she’d stop much sooner than me. It was steadily getting more frequent, to the point I’d sometimes be too hung over to work in the office and instead work from home (I work in IT).

One weekend we were hosting her best friend and her husband visiting from out of town and her husband and I have become really good friends. Trouble is he’s a big fellow nearly 300lbs who can put a 12 pack away in an hour and I have a habit of trying to keep pace with other drinkers. On the last night they were here, we got some beers and hung out, but me and the husband got way too carried away with our drinking playing music and talking loud, we were up in the early morning being loud enough for my girlfriend to hear everything and she never got sleep that night. We finally wrapped up, I got in bed with her and proceeded to throw up everywhere. She promptly kicked me to the couch (rightfully so). The next day she was furious with me (again rightfully so) and wouldn’t come home until that night, she wouldn’t talk to me. I figured she just needed time to cool off and I needed to take my sobriety seriously this time.

The next day was filled with tension when we got home. After some awkward conversation, I finally asked “Are you still mad?” and she responded, “I’m not mad…I’m just done. We’re done. We’re roommates now. Maybe we’ll get back together by September [the end of our lease], maybe not. You talk about having kids and family, but you act like a teenager! I just can’t do this with you anymore!” She then ran to her room to cry, I was heated and ready to beg but knew better than to do that, so I left and went for a walk around the neighborhood to cool off before I said something stupid and totally ruin my chances. I was totally blindsided, but I was able to step away and think. When I came back she was making dinner, as calmly as I could, taking a more negotiating tone than a begging one, I said “Can you give me one more chance? We’ve built up so much together, I was so excited about our future together, I love you, I love your family and I’m willing to give up my drinking for this. I’m going to stop.” Her response “It’s not like I’m moving out with another guy tomorrow, so what’s the plan, how is this going to be different?” I said “I’m not just stopping for myself now, now I know I have others being affected with my future with you on the line. I’m going to get counseling.” Her: “You’re so good at telling people things they want to hear, you bold faced lied to your parents and your pasture that we weren’t living together [NOTE: I have very conservative parents and church so I lied to them about me living alone rather than with her, that never sat right with her], so you understand how I can’t really believe anything you say right now?” I said I do and that I will get professional help and that the lying will stop, that it’s a cowardly thing to do and that. I moved into the guest bedroom.

The following weekend, I decided to go to my hometown and stay a couple nights with my parents. I told my folks everything, our living situation, the history of our living situation, and my alcohol problems. My parents forgave me and assured me that she’ll likely come back around, just give it time. When I got back home, I told her “I’ve told my folks everything, they know. The lies are coming down. I’m also going to tell my pasture everything, I’m also getting help for my alcoholism. I’m going to get things cleared up and I’d like to pick things up where we left off if you’re willing. And whether we work out ultimately or not, I want to thank you for making me realize how bad a problem I have and I’m sorry I had to hurt you to realize that.” She responded, “I don’t know if we’ll ever go back to where we were, but you had bad labs [CONTEXT: I had a kidney transplant and get frequent labs done to check my health status], you were shaking all day Sunday (the day before we broke up), and you STILL did what you did that night! When you got sick I thought ‘Oh my God, this is how he’s going to die.’” I told her I am doing this for my health, told her about the audiobook I’m listening to about all the health effects alcohol has, and that I hope through this maybe we can reconcile, but I don’t expect an answer anytime soon so no pressure. We then went back to watching TV together.

Things remained a little cold, but over time we’ve warmed up. My car broke down a few days later and she was very proactive about helping to drive me around and we started laughing together, flirting a bit, restoring the chemistry we had before. Even on my birthday, she bought me a cupcake and took me to my favorite restaurant. At nights when I’m a little quiet or go to bed early, she’ll knock on my bedroom door and ask if I’m ok. I also have been proactive around the house doing little things for her like making coffee for her before she gets up and I have to go to work or working on the garden (something I’d never do during my “buy-beer-watch-TV” cycle). We watch movies together again and get food together and run errands with each other, she’ll even point at places saying “we need to check [that place] out sometime!” It still gets a little tense when we go to bed, as we’re still sleeping in separate beds. She’s also been planning solo trips on weekends, which she didn’t do before. I’ve been ensured by many friends and family (including some on her side) that she’ll come back around. I haven’t drank at all since then (29 days) and I’m about to meet with a one on one therapist while I’ve been attending AA meetings to help myself and to give each of us some space and a little time apart.
We are back to talking like we did before, joking around, watching movies together, etc. but she still wants to do a lot of stuff without me now, but again understandable I suppose. Does this sound like we’ll be “just friends” from now on? Anyone else been in this situation? I’ve already stated to her my intention to change and she’s seeing that I'm taking the first steps in making those changes. I ask because she did seem to keep a window open for us to come back. Again I know this is EXTREMELY early to tell....it just hurts so much with her this close, but so far away at the same time, this is honestly just torture....and it’s all my dumbass fault…

*Management style:
Not democratic/participative. Not transformational. Not Coaching. Very much Autocratic/Authoritative/Coercive. Sometimes Laissez-faire. Style depends on the department.
*Chain of command:
The ministry is seen as a church by top management. Top management are the “elders” and the CEO is the Senior Pastor. Then there is everybody else. So, confidence is put on their positions of authority. They are, in all sense and purposes, the “spiritual leaders”. They present themselves as having spiritual authority and, therefore, as being entitled to receive immediate agreement and unquestioned compliance.
Also, there are multiple management layers or chains which this quote sums up as well:
"When you become an admiral, you never have bad meals and you never hear the truth. there are all these layers of management and buffer layers and each one is afraid to tell unpleasant truth to the top levels.... “
Not a culture of authenticity where everyone on the team, including management, is encouraged, and expected to be who they are. There is a sense that top management puts up a false front, they seem to want to appear perfect. Illusions of invulnerability exist. They always lead well, they always make the right decisions, they never admit mistakes, etc. Want people to think they got it all together- all rainbows and lollipops. Do not exhibit vulnerability. Toxic positivity is also very much present: Everything is seen as “awesome”. So, there is judgment if you have a bad (not "everything is awesome") day.
The vertical chain of command, results in less collaboration, slow communication, lack of career growth, feelings of subordination, and decreased employee empowerment. Top management sets the rules and standards without any input from the “bottom” employees. Employee questions, concerns or ideas have to go up several steps of the chain of command so that upper management can address or approve. The bottom employees do not have the ability to make decisions related to their work or a particular situation. So, not everyone feels equal.
So, if you are not a spiritual leader, you are just basically told to submit and listen to those who are in authority over you because they are the people that “hear from God” and you are not and so whatever they say goes. And they set up a scenario where they basically kept those of us who were not spiritual leaders dependent upon them.
Many in management are overconfident and overestimate their abilities. They have a simple idea of how things are and how things work. Unfortunately, they make decisions that impact entire departments without gaining the needed knowledge.
The chain of command and lack of ongoing training also results in many employees being promoted so much that they max out their competence and will remain there until they leave or are let go. So, you end up with many in the role of management that lack the training and competence of the respective department. So, employees with the most authority are often not the most experienced and not adept in the particular field leading team members. And employees with the most experience and skills and knowledge and wisdom have the least (or no) authority.
Good leaders don’t always claim the “leader” title. Oftentimes, good leaders are those with more understated temperaments. Leadership is as much about listening as it is about telling. However, people with the most open and receptive personalities often do not have much authority.
Also, how the chain of command should operate when there is a unit that acted without proper authorization, it is not a junior authority who’s going to bear a responsibility for that, but somewhat of more senior status. And that’s true in any military or business or ministry operating by a code of ethics. So, if someone at the bottom of the chain is struggling, failing, or making mistakes, those at the top of the chain bear full responsibility. Everything stands or falls on leadership. Unfortunately, the chain at FCBH is not two directional.
There is also a sense that top management promotes employees who are least-competent but pose no risk to their own position (in-group bias) to management.
*Feedback:
Work environment or culture is not set up for employees to give honest feedback/opinions or to deliver bad news or to question or disagree with management.
Sample bias is also common. Management will send an email asking for feedback but they won't consider how only the people who are open to talking and sharing their opinions will participate while others won’t. Bias arises because employees with specific characteristics (e.g., extroverts) might be more likely to agree to participate than others, making the participants a non-representative sample. People with strong opinions or substantial knowledge about a specific topic may be more willing to give feedback than those without. Management does not follow up to determine why they are unresponsive or follow up frequently to reduce attrition.
Management claims they want to hear from employees, but they only want opinions and ideas on matters that are superficial or trivial. So, few employees give candid feedback on important and significant matters.
Top management does not involve employees in the change process when changes occur.
Management does not ask for honest feedback on their leadership or on decisions that are made that affect employees. Management will not ask how they are doing as leaders, what employees need from them. No regular check-ins or 1:1 on employees’ professional and personal well-being. Are employees stressed, disappointed or feeling burdened physically, emotionally or spiritually? No growth and career discussions.
Management will ignore most feedback, comments, suggestions even when it's common knowledge but will adamantly listen to employees who preface with "God told me to tell you..." Or “I felt God say …” or “God spoke to me and said…”
For example, management started focusing on Gen Z only after a few people claimed that “God told us that Gen Z are important for our future business growth.” In another instance, someone said “God gave us this word: we as a ministry need to really consider how everyone is wired, how each person is different. How people have different personalities.” Then, management affirmed this “word from God.”
If one employee brings something up to management it is often ignored and the employee is gaslighted. If two or more employees bring the same thing to management, then God is communicating something and they take it seriously (per Matt 18). Even if it is just coincidence or frequency bias.
*Groupthink/Conformity:
Groupthink, confirmation bias, in-group bias, illusions of unanimity, and self-censorship is very prevalent in the culture and especially in their meetings. There is a lot of direct pressure to not question, to conform, to agree with the views and personal convictions of the top management. Employees condemn those who disagree or question top management and they accept those who agree, creating immense pressure for conformity.
So, many employees frequently remain quiet, preferring to “keep the peace” rather than disrupt the uniformity. Employees are pressured to hide problematic information (especially from top management).
*Disagreements/Different perspectives:
Top management will also point out the working and living conditions of international employees to “encourage” local employees to not “complain” or give critical feedback or bring up legitimate problems (e.g., fumes or loud noises from construction in the building).
Management also often commits the "ends (or goals or vision) justify the means" fallacy: the work, the production and distribution of bibles (the ends) being done is more important, so employees shouldn't complain at all about the means or their working conditions (broken chairs, broken or inadequate equipment, poor work-life balance, bad management).
And, if management disagrees with you, with your observations, feedback, suggestions, or theology, they will often try to trump you with spirituality or vague meaningless spiritual terminology instead of using Scripture (properly interpreted), facts and reasoning.
In addition, top managers will take great offense when employees question or disagree with the directions and decisions they make. Dissent is not welcomed. Respectful debates/disagreement is not encouraged. Open discussion and alternative perspectives are not encouraged. Management does not value, support, or respect diverse opinions and ideas. They do not actively seek out different viewpoints. Do not allow people to speak their perspective, their thought of mind. So, there is no psychological safety. Employees do not feel comfortable expressing dissenting opinions without fear of retribution or judgment. Afraid of breaking the little glass image. People do not feel comfortable sharing setbacks, mistakes, failures. Management does not encourage open communication. Management often seeks agreement, instead of posing honest questions that challenge the status quo and provoke critical thinking and discussion. They do not encourage employees to challenge them. In fact, they are seen as a type of complaining or critical feedback and so are viewed as sin. This makes top management seem self-centered.
*Appeals to emotion: Guilt and Shame:
Top management often shares their personal opinions and convictions (e.g., spending money only when absolutely necessary, not accepting large gifts, not buying fancy items) as something everyone should do. It’s never direct. It's always through stories. Management loves stories. The personal convictions of management are presented as more than preferences.
For instance, top management encourages extreme frugality and poverty through their personal anecdotes #loudbudgeting and stories from international cultures. Think along the lines of: “we, here in America, have no right to be sad or to complain about things or to request better things or ask for accommodations or for more employee engagement because others (internationals) have it much worse.” Even wanting better equipment and supplies or asking for better working conditions is frowned upon (in some cases seen as a sin), even if your request helps you to do your job more effectively and makes the work better (a new whiteboard, a new office chair, better computers, etc.)
Example: “You should really try to come in to work even if you feel bad, even if you are snowed in and the roads are hazardous because people need to get our bibles. And our international employees work in much harsher conditions.”
You also get this feeling from the way they communicate that top management would rather not pay their employees. They would prefer it if everyone just worked for free because “we are on a mission from God. We are doing the Lord's work.” There is also a sense that employees should be more than willing to sacrifice their well-being, career goals, financial goals, personal goals for reaching people with their Bibles.
Leadership sets the example and expectations, so this all ends up making employees confused and feeling guilty and ashamed. Guilty and shameful about asks, spending money (even their own). Guilty and shameful about having nice things (new car, new phone, new tv), about making needs known, about sharing concerns regarding work, about asking for raises to keep up with cost of living, etc.
Example: An employee has continued to use an old whiteboard. It is so old it is hard to read and difficult to erase. Management likes to tell donors: “We don't spend money on everyday things like whiteboards…. Instead, we use that money for more bible recordings, for people to hear about Jesus.”
This also causes confusion. Every few months there is a meeting where management discusses how sitting on stores of money is bad, but spending it is also bad, but also not spending it is bad... "Being rich is bad. Money is bad. let's not accumulate money, that's bad. We must think about how people will see what we have. So we should look poor and not appear too frivolous." But top management is okay with receiving gifts from donors and other ministries. Management personally does not like to have nice “fancy” things, and as a ministry, they say FCBH should also not have nice fancy things, they should use the money for other more important things. They don't like when other ministries use their money for nice fancy things, but it's okay if other ministries give FCBH nice fancy things like tote bags, key chains, mugs, phone holders, lunch bags. Another example, it took them years to repaint the parking lot. It was at the point where people did not know where to park. Before repainting, management decided to remodel the hallways and install posters and multiple monitors with language stats.
There is also a subtle sense that producing audio and video bibles is the highest calling one can have. And it's implied that FCBH is the main means God uses to fulfill the great commission: “God needs FCBH to do these bible recordings or people (specifically unreached internationals) will go to hell.” So, top management hints that working anywhere else isn't really serving God (or at least, not serving God as well as one could if they worked somewhere else). They imply that working at this ministry is the only way to truly serve God and fulfill your calling. They also use this framing to guilt and shame employees into not quitting. Management implies that employees should not take opportunities to leave or take other jobs because getting the Bible to people is God’s highest calling for us as Christians:
“If anyone leaves FCBH, then they must not really understand the vision/calling. They are not committed to saving people. We should be willing to give up things to fulfill the calling. The apostles did not pursue better jobs and so God will provide if we need better pay, benefits, career. For those of us who join the ministry to hold true to get God's word to every person, it takes discipline because we have opportunities to do other things. I'm sure that Noah had problems with Builders because he probably had hundreds of people not thousands working on the ark. They started their own businesses and started side things going on. pretty soon they'll have no time to work with him on the ark. and you can have all kinds of diversionary things happen. and so we want to understand they focused in the ministry. and that's been one of the things that I've really tried to do is what did God tell me at the time this ministry began because I was not interested in this ministry. I was interested in living by faith and experiencing God through people and seeing people experience God. and when I was praying about that here in Albuquerque the Lord said bring my church together and make disciples. and then he also told me that when his people think the same they are one. so it's not a matter of getting rid of the buildings or the leaders but it's a matter of people thinking the same. They can go to different denominations, different buildings, have different teachers, and different preachers and leaders but once they think the same, they're one and that's what his objective was. and so that's when I felt like the Lord said get God's word to every person. So I'm challenging us to stay true to what God has called us to do. and every time somebody leaves the ministry there are reasons for leaving. but it startles me a little bit, because I think well we haven't, we haven't communicated the vision very well somehow because they didn't get it. like Noah building the arc. it it's a long project it's not a month or a year two years or three years. our immediate goal is 2033 and it means that we're committed to a cause. and that means some of us we give up something. I we've given up stuff we live in a small apartment and that's what we saw that God had us do and that's our lifestyle we we tone down our lifestyle to get the cause committed to the cause. and and I know that's difficult for some, in some cases maybe there's financial needs because of family growth and stuff there they just can't afford to work in the ministry. but sometimes it's a choice and every time somebody leaves it where it's actually a choice. I think we haven't communicated the mission very good the vision very good. I've been looking at is that could you imagine read reading the New Testament. and finding out that Peter about halfway through or Paul halfway through the ministry all of a sudden got a better job offer. and stopped their portion of the ministry they held the course no matter what happened. whether it was good or whether it was bad. Paul talks about this and sometimes we want to follow the Lord. but we don't impart on ourselves the same responsibilities that those disciples did. so when God Empower them is he empowering you in the same way. and you're making choices that maybe you shouldn't make that you will impart and say the Lord is leading me someplace else when in fact maybe it isn't. it's just a better offer. if the Bible in the New Testament was reading a little bit different than Stephen left the ministry at this point or James left the ministry at this point because of something I think we need to be very very careful and why I say that is that as we work internationally.”
SO, there is a lot of guilt and shame about leaving to pursue other interests or meet needs. Guilt and shame about wanting to leave to advance and develop professionally. For this reason, many remain “loyal” and stay at the ministry.
So there is lots of control and manipulation in the work culture.
*Weekly worship meetings:
These are mandatory and there are some legitimate concerns:
Top management seems to have misconceptions about true worship and worship experiences. They often reduce worship to singing by their communication, the way “worship” is used. Worship is seen as something we do on occasion - once a week, when we gather at work for the mandatory worship time. Top management, by ignoring other styles, seems to believe that there is a single style of worship which is correct for Christians.
And it seems like just about anyone can lead worship or be on the team: anyone that can play an instrument. Top management does not require a worship class or agreement to biblical principles concerning worship as a prerequisite for employees who desire to plan and lead worship experiences. So you end up with people who have different views/philosophies on the worship team. Unfortunately, many who lead do not take the time/effort to plan and lead worship experiences, to discern from songs that are better suited for individual or private worship from songs that are corporate or public worship, to discern songs that are controversial/questionable (have bad theology, weak theology), songs that are theologically ambiguous or songs that lean more towards “feminine” attributes. Most, if not all, of our modern “Christian” worship music is written at a simplistic level of understanding and comprehension. Most music tends to appeal to our emotions. Many songs appeal mostly to women. So there is a great need for teaching on the biblical principles concerning worship. Also a need to choose theologically balanced songs with music appropriate for the people. Unfortunately, many of the songs chosen are theologically incorrect (e.g., having elements from the Word Of Faith movement, New Apostolic Church, New Age). Songs are often not theologically balanced. Songs seem to be chosen for their emotional impact, to make employees feel good; many focus on just one aspect of God (e.g., love). Many promote self-centered worship.
Most of the worship leaders just sing the songs: They do not actually “lead” people into worship. They do not help people connect the lyrics of the song to where they are at in their personal life, to teach them something about God or help the people understand what this song means and what God wants them to get out of it, so they're not just singing songs and just doing, going through the motions or help them understand the depth and the richness of what lyrics mean and how it applies to their life. What matters to them seems to be whether songs are impactful, moving, and beautiful. (Whatever that means.) Whether songs make employees feel good. They don't seem to care whether the songs actually reflect truth: Do the lyrics line up with Scripture? Do the songs glorify self or God? How would new Christians or nonChristians interpret the song?
Theology is the study of God and it's very important doxology is an expression of praise to God so the point here is that all theologies should ultimately lead to doxology if theology doesn't lead to doxology then we've actually missed the point of theology so if you have theology without doxology you just have dead hold orthodoxy which is horrible. On the other side you have the people who say “forget about theology I just want to praise.” But if you have doxology without theology you actually have idolatry because it's just a random expression of praise but it's not actually informed by the truth of who God is so God is
concerned with both he's concerned with an accurate understanding of him and that accurate understanding of him leading to a response of praise adoration and worship towards him.
*Leadership quality:
Top management has more respect for donors and guests than their employees.
Management lacks basic core leadership principles/values:
Unfortunately, many employees are not given power or resources: Management just gives them the responsibility to get things done. Before responsibility is given, employees should be equipped: be empowered, have the authority, be given resources and have the experience. Employees are not empowered as individuals to solve their own problems using their own solutions. Micromanagement is often required every time the situation changes or problems arise. Employees are not inspired to act as leaders for themselves, delivering amazing performance without guidance. They have coaching sessions but only when there’s a problem. True coaching occurs regardless of whether the individual is crushing their goals or falling behind. Management does not seem to care about unlocking a person’s potential and getting the most of their performance. They seem only interested in producing more followers, not more leaders.
No method to hold management accountable to core values listed in their own Employee handbook. Employees are expected to abide by the procedures and rules described in the handbook but top management can choose to ignore it when it is convenient for them.
-Top management are NOT learners: No desire to develop and improve their skills.
-They do not ask employees: What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
-They do not ask how they are doing as leaders. Or ask employees how they’re doing.
-They do not ask what employees need from management that they are not giving them.
-No performance evaluations for both management or non-managment.
-They often fail to emotionally connect with employees.
-They do not speak to employees' needs first.
-They do not focus on what they can put into people rather than what they can get out of them.
-They do not understand basic psychology, how people think and behave.
-They are often resistant to (and even hate) change: Perhaps because they fear losing control. In fact, new information, objective facts, research, stats, and even new ideas are often ignored in favor of what's easiest to do or because of tradition. If something has been done and “works”, top management does not see a reason to question it or to improve on it. If something was tried 5, 10, 20, even 50yrs before and failed, top management does not see a reason to try it again even if the exact circumstances have changed.
-They do not empower or give the means, the power or opportunity to do to employees.
-They do not trust others to follow through managing processes and performing tasks.
-They do not lead by example.
-They do not know when to move forward and when to back off, what to improve and how radical those improvements should be.
-They often fail to see options, and plan and prioritize.
-They fail to develop leaders around them.
-Their communication is often poor.
-Their listening is also poor: do not listen for more than facts, but also the feelings, meanings and undercurrents.
-They do not take the time to get to know the people they lead: no weekly check-ins which top organizations have to discuss how employees are doing professionally and personally. Management doesn't ask “what was good this week? What was not good this week? How is your well-being? How is your family?”
Competence in leadership skills is also poor.
-They are not teachable: not willing to keep learning, growing, improving in leadership and management practices: FCBH has a yearly “leadership” summit. But, the way it is set up, it reinforces weaknesses instead of challenging leadership growth.
The summit is also just for a select few in top management. Not every employee is seen as a leader so most employees are excluded.
Top managers attend the summit but there is no followup, no post accountability by other managers and especially by the employees that are under the managers. No discussion on how management will apply what was learned.
Some of the past speakers have had questionable characters and even questionable teachings (Judah Smith). Leadership qualifications and theological background seems to be ignored in favor of charismatics, dynamics, popularity.
-Top management does not take responsibility for their part of a disagreement or failure and apologize.
-They often embrace a victim mentality.
-They often limit yourself by your job title.
-They do not invest in better tools or processes.
-They are content with the status quo.
-They allow their past achievements to stagnate their desire to keep learning.
-There is a lack of discernment, finding the main cause of problems/issues.
-They do not anticipate problems.
-They do not accept the truth of the problem: Do not face up to the reality of the situation;
-They get bogged down in the details.
-They often avoid problems.
-They don’t deal well with problems.
-They do not have their team study all angles.
-They often do not value nontraditional thinking: Don’t embrace change, ambiguity and uncertainty well.
-They do not work well with differences.
-They do not have their own mentors or provide mentorship to others.
-They do not invest to improve their own professional or leadership skills.
-They are often insecure, constantly seek validation, acknowledgement and love.
-They limit employee's success and recognition:
-They do not seem interested in making people successful: Don’t attempt to remove barriers that prevent employees from being successful.

• They often feel threatened by accomplishments by employees who are not management:

If an employee who is not management has a great idea to improve the work, management often does not support it and may secretly try to shut it down.
When a team succeeds, management will not give other people credit and instead take the credit themselves.
It seems like some of the people working there were given the title of management, the position, and that alone made them qualified. Management or leaders assume that their position alone qualifies them to make critical decisions where they may not have the best data, insight, wisdom, skill, experience. Just because one may have the word “manger” in the job title, does not automatically make them a great leader. Leadership is about dealing with people, and the dynamics between those people, and influencing people.
*Dead end career path:
For the most part, top management assumes that team members are fine and "settled", rather than taking the time to understand their true feelings and needs. They do not ask employees where they are struggling, where they are having trouble, what frustrates them the most?
Management does not seem interested in making employees better both personally or professionally. They do not have a growth plan or professional development plan for employees. No job related training. They do not provide what is needed to help employees to grow and improve. They don't provide opportunities for employees to apply their talents and expertise. They don’t ask how they can better support employees. Employees don’t check on each other.
One is expected to work until health deteriorates and skills become obsolete so you leave in a worse place than you started. For most employees, there is no long term future with the organization. Management does not let employees know how they are doing and what the future looks like for them. What the opportunities are. They do not take the time to learn from employees what they want to be. No honest conversations to understand employees goals and ambitions. So, because there is no growth or development plan, no career path, once your skills are outdated, they will probably let you go or they will keep you in the same position and your salary will max out.
Management does not coach employees on how to manage their time, priorities, and energy; no teaching on how to problem solve, or make better decisions, or how to set boundaries or how to minimize context switching and zoom fatigue.

I’m planning on going on a July road trip through some Midwestern states (MN, WI, MI UP, MO, and IL) with a friend and we plan on car camping for most of the trip. I know the areas we’re going to be in have black bears so I was wondering how you store your food when car camping where bear interactions are possible? We plan to bring a cooler for the duration of the trip.

I don’t think this is a popular opinion but I recently experienced a retaliatory wreck and would love to see the broader communities opinion.
Opinion: lapped cars in oval SHOULD fight for positions and the expectation should not be to just ride.
Reasoning: iRacing is a really unique service which allows you to join races (typically shorter in length) and work to develop racecraft with other drivers in real time. Drivers have to make real time decisions and react to real people’s thoughts lap after lap. Additionally, we race real people but rarely race them more than once with the exception of the smaller series which have diehard fans racing weekly or in extremely high splits with you see a lot of the same people. Regardless, I iRacing’s large player base allows for you to race against unique people with different styles and skill level which only develops a drivers ability to navigate different situations and develop racecraft.
While these are important benefits to the service, it still has its flaws such as the scoring system sometimes trapping cars laps down when a caution comes out during a green flag pit stop (not the fact that pitted cars getting caught a lapped down but also scoring issues coming to one to go. Point is, things sometimes glitch out a little). Sometimes cars who are not off the pace get stuck a lap down and it seems there is a lot of folks who expect lapped cars to pull over, never attempt to pass (regardless of safety and pace) and just continue to ride for the remainder of the race.
I think this is unreasonable since 1) drivers should have the right to race, 2) two cars with similar pace may be able to have fun learning and battling, and 3) it is a simulator or game which does not have the same responsibility of respect as maybe a joined league or real life.
1) if someone is being safe, and are not drastically off the pace, they should be able to run their race and have the right to challenge anyone on the track. Lapped cars should have the right to race the leader if they are going a lap down (as long as they are safe and following the sporting code) and race anyone in the field to remain the lucky dog. To this point though, the expectation still stands that lapped cars must be predictable and lead lap cars bear the responsibility to lap safely.
2) these races are short and sometimes the only drivers around you are on a different lap. If you have the chance to have fun and actually race, you should do that and enjoy the battle of competition. Some of the most fun I have had is battling slower cars with a tire advantage so our pace balances out for a few laps. It’s a dynamic of racing which I believe is very under appreciated and encouraged (again, with safety in mind). To this point, if you don’t like the racing of this group of drivers, there will be another race soon and you will have a different experience. The point is, regardless of lap, you should have fun with who you are racing.
3) one of the main arguments of the driver who wrecked me was that I should have had more respect for lead lap cars (while this is only my POV, take it with a grain of salt since I am not providing an example, this is just a discussion rather than the “who’s responsible” posts). If a driver is running alternate lines and is being predictable, they should be able to race whoever they want. Just because a driver is a lap ahead, does not guarantee more respect is owed to that driver as there are multiple reasons someone can go a lap down beyond being slow. You earn respect for driving cleanly and racing clean, not because of your position on track or the number on your roof.
TL;DR: lapped cars should be able to race anyone at any point as long as they are safe and following the sporting code. This is a game after all and no one should be forced to pull over for you to have fun at a racing game.
Stay tuned for the “AITA” post lol
Edit: this was intended for oval racing specifically. I don’t race enough road to have this opinion… YET lol. Thanks for the thoughts. This is fun!