I am lucky enough my daughter takes care of us after retirement as my husband has no pension Teacher the children you are the one to lo after when we are old Once register in their mind the way we looked after they too will look after us most probably Pls don’t provoke children unnecessarily consider them talk to them involve them in matters make easy for smooth travel with children

I don't need to tell anyone here that housing affordability is bad right now so I'll cut to the chase...
What can be done about it?
I got seven proposals to address the problem.
But first.. lets talk about what I call 'Non-Solutions'.
A Non-Solution is something that feels like a solution but isn't. For example: Scratching at itchy skin isn't a solution to a rash.
There's a few Non-Solutions I'm going to be avoiding with my proposals:

• Price Fixing: Simply mandating that X costs $N, at a government level, doesn't fix anything. Ask USSR. Prices determined by markets are not 'fair', but they are realistic outcomes to the situations which created them, whether it's a lack of regulation, lack of supply, etc. High prices are a symptom of bigger problems that need to be addressed.
• Free Money: While it seems like an easy fix, just handing out money until everyone can afford everything, you don't need to be an economist to know that doesn't work. Prices are a function of purchase power. If you increase everyone's purchase power equally, prices will adjust to match. We've all seen this, the inflation we're experiencing right now in Australia is likely a direct outcome of the spending during the pandemic.

Instead solutions need to be formed through means such as:

• Using the tax system to incentivise behaviour that results in cheaper housing, and de-incentivise behaviour that results in more expensive housing.
• Adjusting laws that result in more expensive housing, removing laws that are an obstacle to cheaper housing.
• Creating alternatives to the existing housing stock in the market.
• Government initiatives that increase housing stock.

So - what could we do?

Proposal 1 - The AAHC

I call it the 'Australian Affordable Housing Construction Company', aka, AAHC Co.
Government initiated housing construction company, similar to the NBN Co.
It has one goal: Build houses and sell them. It has a target rate of 'houses/quarter' it aims to construct houses at. That rate is set by an independent body that aims to keep the cost of housing to a fixed level relative to incomes, and controlled in a fashion similar to the official interest rate. Another lever on the economy. The rate increases when housing supply is low, and decreases when housing supply is high.
The AAHC builds houses. Then sells them. Simple as that. No other purpose. The goal is to break even, build houses, sell them at market value (no profit). The great thing is, this means the AAHC has a net zero funding cost for the tax payer - literally costs nothing to run, because it pays for itself through sales of houses.
The actual construction would be done by external private construction companies under contract who compete under bids to build suburbs worth of houses in large projects. Which is another benefit. Lots of jobs creation, a big boon for our local manufacturing and construction industry, and any related employment opportunities (construction companies don't just hire builders after all, they hire graphic designers, accountants, managers, receptionists, etc).
As additional benefit, because the government is building the houses, it can ensure the houses meet conditions and standards we the people want to see applied to future housing construction. So it could be mandated for example, every new home constructed must have air conditioning, must have solar panels, etc.
The AAHC Co in summary:

• Allows for a market based approach to control the cost of housing.
• Costs nothing (to the taxpayer) to run, self funded.
• Reduces the single largest expense we have in life (housing).
• Would create tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands, of jobs.
• Can improve the quality of our supply of houses in the market by building better houses.

Proposal 2 - Nationalised Definitions of 'Tiny Homes', and Easing Of Laws Regarding Them

The reality is, there is such a shortfall of housing in Australia, that it may take a decade or longer to address the problem, even if we started implementing the right policies to do so today.
What people need is alternatives. Today.
Such as 'Tiny Homes'.
Tiny homes can be constructed in larger quantities, prefab, for cheaper than a house, and constructed on a trailer frame which allows them to be easily moved and transported.
They can be significantly cheaper than a house, and moved easily, opening up prospects for someone to own reasonable housing in Australia for a fraction of the cost of buying an established constructed house, by buying very cheap land, a cheap 'Tiny Home' and parking it permanently on their land. Then eventually moving it on, selling it even, once it comes time to upgrade to a permanent fixture house, or move into a larger fixed house.
Because they're legally defined as caravans, they subject to all the same rules.
The first problem is, those rules vary depending on where you live. Not just for each state, but even depending which council you live in. Some councils have no clear regulations at all, making matters worse. A nationalised definition of a 'Tiny Home', and national laws regarding them, would make life easier for everyone.
The second problem is, because currently Tiny Homes are defined legally as Caravans, they are subject to the same restrictions, which can be stifling, such as, subject to location (state or council laws vary). Here are some of the worst restrictions found around the country:

• Can not be placed on a vacant block of land without an existing dwelling
• No more than 1 is allowed on residential land
• Contains no more than 2 bedrooms
• Requires development approval every time they're moved
• May result in additional charges for council rates

A nationalised legal framework for tiny homes, and easing of laws around them, to make them easier and cheaper to obtain, install and live in, would open up possibilities for alternative means of housing to ease the burden on the existing housing market.

Proposal 3 - Housing Super Fund

Super is a well established method for ensuring individuals can afford their retirement without resorting to giving people free money or price fixing the cost of retirement. It forces employers to make contributions to employee's super funds, that then collect invest, grow, and eventually can be accessed at retirement age.
This is a mechanism we can borrow to achieve a similar result for renters, to allow them eventually afford housing.
I call it a 'Housing Super Fund'.
How it could work is like this:
Every tenant is Australia, could have a 'housing super fund' set up for them when they start renting. Every time a tenant pays rent, the land lord receiving the rental payment, could be required to deposit 5% of that payment into the tenant's housing super fund.
Land lords will insist, argue, that they will put up rents by 5% to compensate. But this is a lie. Prices are determined by customer purchase power. Renters will not have any additional purchase power as a result of this change. Rents won't go up in real terms over a long period of time, instead this change eats a cut away of rents from landlords and invests it on the behalf of tenants.
The housing super fund could be made accessible if and when a tenant is making their "first home purchase". If that never occurs, the funds could available automatically at retirement age instead.

Proposal 4 - Increased Property Taxes for Landlords & Elimination of Negative Gearing

While some people are facing the prospect that they may NEVER be able to afford a house in their lifetime - other individuals, might have as many as 7 properties, and are currently shopping for their 8th.
It's obvious, that the system strongly favours those who already own houses and have capital, ahead of those who don't.
So, simple solution, is to increase taxes for being a landlord.
Property taxes faced by individuals could be higher for those who own more than one house, and increase with each additional house owned.
And, Negative Gearing, eliminated, since it creates such a massive financial incentive to own more than one house.

Proposal 6 - Harsh taxes on empty resident housing

A simple proposal.
There are empty houses across Australia.
Tax the owners until they either rent them out or sell them or move into them.

Proposal 7 - Housing HELP Loan

Saved the best for last. Got a HELP Loan? Then you know how this loan structure works.
You borrow money from the government to pay for education, and then pay off that help loan in your taxes, if and when your income is above a minimum threshold. In the mean time, the loan amount is adjusted based on interest rates at the end of each financial year.
There's no reason why we can't have a similar loan structure made available for housing.
'Housing HELP Loan' could be made available to cover up to 75% of the purchase price of an individual's first home, with the remaining 25% required as an upfront deposit. The loan then can be paid off as part of the individual's taxes if and when their income is above a minimum threshold.
This would enable millions who currently can't get a home loan to finally get one, and ensure the debt of a home loan isn't financially crushing when individuals end up in a situation where they are temporarily unable to pay off their loan due to loss of employment.
That's 7 proposals to fixing housing affordability in Australia.
Which ones do you think would work?
Which ones do you think would stand a chance politically of being supported by a major party and made into reality?

We've heard the story: line members in null get tired of the war and choose to go to J-space to "retire", and then you never hear from them again. Luckily for you, there's a way to keep them -- simply own the space they want to retire in.
But I hear you ask all these questions. Why would I establish myself in a space outside of my territory where I can't control it? What benefit does it give me to have a wormhole in my ownership? What's in it for me?
Just today, it was announced that SYNDE, once an owner of several high-class C5 and C6 wormholes, is now disbanding. With structures being unanchored, never has it been a more ripe opportunity to seize these holes for yourselves.
Here's three reasons why you should take a hole for yourself:

1. TAX OWNERSHIP -- With nearly 400-600 million ISK at each wormhole combat site, you have the opportunity to make an exceptional amount of profit with the right characters and with the right ratting setup. The best part? You as a nullsec bloc now seize the means of production, which means no more paying taxes to a third party like SYNDE. Instead, you can either seize a hole for yourself to use for your own sake, or offer them to your line members and tax the holes yourself.
2. STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE -- C5 and C6 holes are commonly attached to nullsec systems. By having an established corporation under your alliance banner in a wormhole, you are effectively giving yourselves the chance to attack targets from locations the enemy would never suspect you from, far past what jump bridges can get you.
3. CONTENT -- Every day, the chain of wormhole systems connected to your home hole changes. Each new hole is a new Foritzar to ref, a new ratter to kill, a new place to farm combat sites from.

Equinox is expected to shake up the economic side of Eve significantly. No one knows what will happen in the next coming while, and these next few changes may kill your way of living in nullsec for good. If you need numbers to retain, income for your future wars, a place to fill the morale for your line members, this is the way to go.
For more information, send me a message. See you on the J side.
o7

TL;DR - I wanted to give my players a fun comedown session after lots of Plot where they got to beat up mercenary thugs way below their level and save a town, while also hinting at the broader lore of the setting by teasing a lore-relevant (but not plot-relevant) character. However, I don't know how to do this without a deadly boss battle against a master assassin.
Full Version
My players, having left the fae moon where a lot of Big Plot Shit happened, are in a small mountain village in fantasy not!Japan.
It is the little village where the world's greatest swordsmith has retired to, having grown tired of making weapons (but will be available to help reforge the ancient shattered blade the PCs have).
The village has been taken over by a gang of mercenaries who work as hired muscle in the underworld all across the continent, because their leader is an infamous assassin who wanted this swordsmith to make her a weapon, spent years tracking him down, and has her men harassing the townsfolk to twist the swordsmith's arm and force him to work for her.
This is meant to be a kind of "come down" session after all the plot. The players, level 9 (level 10 after this), dealing with a threat that a party of level 2-3s would be dealing with. They can smoke the mercenaries, no trouble.
....but the problem is the assassin. I've hinted at her existence before, when they teamed up with a retired assassin who mentioned that the reason he got out of the game was that he took on an apprentice and "created a monster." She's also secretly the elder sister of the once-a-century legendary heroine knight (the "hero of another story" NPC). She's a ruthless killer.
In another campaign, she'd be either a finale boss or another endgame antagonist. I wanted to just include her here to kind of hint at stuff beyond the scope of the campaign.
Also, the party tank is MIA becuase the player is taking a break from D&D, so a fight would be a bloodbath.
How do I resolve this story, meant to be light and low-stress, without a murderous boss battle against the most fearsome assassin on the continent? Is this even possible? Should I just have the assassin not there when the PCs beat up her men - but then she might swear revenge?

Couple in late 60s getting divorced
Started a business together in California around 30 years ago after they got married
Wife handled day to day (staffing/employee issues, client relations, purchasing supplies, compliance for state regulations, and even worked shifts when needed)
Husband handled some operations (estimating quarterly taxes, vendor payments, and handyman/maintenance tasks). Was never his full time job as he had other employment or business ventures the whole time
Divorce was initiated by husband during Covid. At the time, business was valued at around $500k, and wife was willing to take out a loan to buy out his half of the business as she is most adept at running it and intends to do so until her retirement.
Husband refused mediation and pushed for court.
Both parties agreed to a forensic accountant to value the business. Results now show (with Covid’s impact to the business) a value of $50k.
Husband now does not want to sell his share and instead wants to have the wife sell her half to him. He does not know how to do the day to day operations nor does he have the credentials to run it on his own.
Can a judge force the sale of the business to the wife? And, if so, at what price? Will they be forced to sell to a third party and lose a lifetime of work building this business up?
These people are relatives. Husband is a PoS with a victim complex (even though he initiated the divorce and refused mediation and agreed to the accountant). Want to know how bad the wife will be screwed over. She poured her blood, sweat, and tears into this business over the last 30 years. Her employees love her. Her clients love her. The business wouldn’t exist without her and it is her life. I’m at a loss at what options are available at this point

Kind of long, but any advice or input would be greatly appreciated :)
I (22F) have been working in fast food/ retail since I was 17 and I’m finally ready to take that leap to leave my current job and find one that will help advance my career and give me at least some financial stability. I also live in NorCal for context (not sure if I’d be willing to move quite yet.) I’ve been at my current retail job since 2021 and was honestly just going to stay there until I was completely finished with college but I just received my AA and the current management im under is so difficult to work with and extremely offensive I can barely take it not to mention I’ve been in management for about 2 years now and have gone from at least 20hr a week (part time) to less than 10hr a week, less than some associates and they’re all 3 hour shifts so I’m not even allowed to take a 10min break though im not even sure if that’s legal??
I am very fortunate to not have to pay rent as I live with my parents and I only have to worry about paying for my car, gas, phone, school, necessity’s etc. So no rent is a life saver in this economy. With that being said I don’t necessarily need the highest paying job quite yet (willing to work my way up or gain helpful experience) though that would be ideal for anyone. I just want to be able to find something that fits with my personality/ needs and also doesn’t care the way I look. I know sometimes you have to do what u gotta do but I cannot take working somewhere I’m miserable at and I understand that is a privilege within itself so I’m just trying to use the time I do have to really find what I’m passionate about and not be scared to try new things.
I still want to go back to school to get my bachelors degree since it’s always been a dream of mine, but since I pretty much pay for everything out of pocket besides some degree of financial aide, I don’t want to just aimlessly transfer somewhere with no clue on what to study which has been my issues for some time. I feel like my interest haven’t changed much and neither have my dreams to further my education so I’ve pretty much been saying the same things since probably before high school and I still have no clue what exactly the direction is I should go. I would love to gain some first hang experience to know if getting my B.A. is even worth it for the field I want to go into or what major would benefit me the best.
I have many interests and ideas as to what I could possibly do but I feel like as much as I say them out loud no one really relates so I always feel alone or like there’s no possible job for me that I’ll feel happy in. I mean I think majority of people would rather not work and focus their lives on their hobbies and passions but unfortunately that’s not in the cards for most people and though I sometimes live in that dreamland that doesn’t change the fact that I’m extremely dedicated, hard-working and really want to make a difference in whatever field I end up in. So I guess I’ll leave a list of the things I’m interested in, in case anybody has some advice or input on any occupations I’ve listed or have experience in anything I’ve listed.
I guess another thing to mention is that I was recently applying to a lot of jobs in childcare and pretty much every interview I went to turn me down on the spot because of my appearance. Of course I hear the stories of looking less professional due to your tattoos, piercings, etc., which I never understand. I don’t even have a single tattoo or piercing, not even my ears, but I have bright pink hair and that has been such a downside for the interviewing processes, even some retail jobs like Box Lunch for example doesn’t accept colored hair when they’re literally a pop culture store and share the same company as Hot Topic. I don’t want to have to change my appearance for a job. I know it’s just hair but I was never able to express myself the way I wanted to and the amount of money and maintenance that goes with having colored hair would not be worth it to me to color black just to get a job. It would feel like I’m altering myself and changing something that makes me feel good about myself is unfair and already puts a bad taste in my mouth about the company because they are willing to look over my qualifications and work ethic due to one minor detail in my appearance. One of these jobs I even had two on the phone interviews that went amazing and was going to my final in person interview and was literally meeting with a family for a behavioral technician job and the first thing they (the company) told me was I would need to change my hair to even be considered and I had to eventually politely end the interview because they still wanted to me to meet a kid despite straight up telling me they will not hire me if I didn’t immediately change my hair… and I’d be working with a family, not even in a ‘ public setting.’ I would just love to be able to work in a community that embraces people for their differences for the way they express themselves, and encourages self expression.
Anyways, here are some of my interests and I’d be eternally grateful to hear any feedback! Maybe you’ve worked in some of these environments and have advice or horror stories, if you have similar interests to me let me know what kind of job you have because I’m sure I don’t even know the formal titles to half of these jobs, or even have other ideas that match my interests. Thank you thank you thank you!

• A lost 22 year old just trying to find her way

TLDR: I have so many interests and have no idea where to go with my next steps in my career and schooling, and would love some advice based off of my interest and experience. My unnaturally colored hair gets me nowhere. My experience and interests are listed below.
My schooling/ experience so far: * 5 years of theatre under my belt (onstage/backstage/management) * Just graduated with my AA in Social & Behavioral Sciences (Random but was recommended to do so based on all of the same interest I told my counselor some odd years ago) * Most of my college classes were focused in sociology, psychology, and child development, which has been super interesting so I am willing to branch out from my interest because I did find a lot of interest in the classes I’ve taken previously. * Have worked in retail for four years; Pretty well received by people * A nanny to 4 kids (ages 4-16) for about 3.5 years as well
My personality: (not sure if this will help with knowing if I would be a good fit for any of the jobs listed )
i’m extremely bubbly and can have my extroverted moments, but I can also be introverted at times and when work needs to get done, I will figure out the best way to do it and get to work. I work pretty well with a team and always have ideas flowing and bouncing around, but I can also excel working on my own/have no issues being independent with my work. I don’t have a huge preference on a fast versus slow paced work environment. I would like something flexible, but I have no issue with getting into a routine. I feel like I am truly pretty flexible when it comes to my work environment, I just really want a place that I can express myself and be surrounded by a community of people similar to me. I love to be innovative and creative.
My interests/ ideas: (sorry kinda random and jumps around)

• always wanted to be a nanny or travel nanny; to work with one specific family and grow with them
• Pre-k - 1st grade teacher; I find teaching younger kids really fulfilling, love crafts/ activities/planning, extremely patient
• Art teacher (i love ceramics, but pretty much any type of art would be so cool to incorporate creativity with teaching)
• Child advocate (possibly on movie and tv sets)
• Teacher on movie and television sets
• Directing or any sort of behind the scenes job for movies and television (I love to write and create concepts, costuming, sets, music, casting)
• Set designer for movies, television, or theater
• Costume designer for movies, television, or theater
• Possibly work with an acting company backstage (I don’t even know if that’s a job but possibly a permanent backstage role somewhere)
• Open my own curated thrift shop or a shop in general that is really creative or theme oriented
• Have a small bakery business or just a business in general, I love the idea of being able to run a company or brand that’s inclusive and creative
• I do love to bake and Decorate desserts
• Creative Director; photographer, videographer; I just love the thought of creating things and bringing concepts together, planning, etc.
• Magazine company?
• Wedding planning/party and event planning; again, I just like bringing things together I feel like I have an eye for aesthetics
• Something with marketing or managing

As you can see, most of my interest have to do with childcare and the arts, which are some of the lowest paying jobs/difficult fields to get into, but it’s what I most passionate about and what I can actually see myself being happy doing for a long time. i’m also not opposed to working in one certain field for a while and then branching out to something different or related further down the line, I just want to know what step I should take next so I’m not just floating around doing nothing and being/fill, I just want to know what step I should take next so I’m not just floating around doing nothing and being/feeling useless.
Thank you so much to anyone who responds with advice and kind words :)

Kind of long, but any advice or input would be greatly appreciated :)
I (22F) have been working in fast food/ retail since I was 17 and I’m finally ready to take that leap to leave my current job and find one that will help advance my career and give me at least some financial stability. I also live in NorCal for context (not sure if I’d be willing to move quite yet.) I’ve been at my current retail job since 2021 and was honestly just going to stay there until I was completely finished with college but I just received my AA and the current management im under is so difficult to work with and extremely offensive I can barely take it not to mention I’ve been in management for about 2 years now and have gone from at least 20hr a week (part time) to less than 10hr a week, less than some associates and they’re all 3 hour shifts so I’m not even allowed to take a 10min break though im not even sure if that’s legal??
I am very fortunate to not have to pay rent as I live with my parents and I only have to worry about paying for my car, gas, phone, school, necessity’s etc. So no rent is a life saver in this economy. With that being said I don’t necessarily need the highest paying job quite yet (willing to work my way up or gain helpful experience) though that would be ideal for anyone. I just want to be able to find something that fits with my personality/ needs and also doesn’t care the way I look. I know sometimes you have to do what u gotta do but I cannot take working somewhere I’m miserable at and I understand that is a privilege within itself so I’m just trying to use the time I do have to really find what I’m passionate about and not be scared to try new things.
I still want to go back to school to get my bachelors degree since it’s always been a dream of mine, but since I pretty much pay for everything out of pocket besides some degree of financial aide, I don’t want to just aimlessly transfer somewhere with no clue on what to study which has been my issues for some time. I feel like my interest haven’t changed much and neither have my dreams to further my education so I’ve pretty much been saying the same things since probably before high school and I still have no clue what exactly the direction is I should go. I would love to gain some first hang experience to know if getting my B.A. is even worth it for the field I want to go into or what major would benefit me the best.
I have many interests and ideas as to what I could possibly do but I feel like as much as I say them out loud no one really relates so I always feel alone or like there’s no possible job for me that I’ll feel happy in. I mean I think majority of people would rather not work and focus their lives on their hobbies and passions but unfortunately that’s not in the cards for most people and though I sometimes live in that dreamland that doesn’t change the fact that I’m extremely dedicated, hard-working and really want to make a difference in whatever field I end up in. So I guess I’ll leave a list of the things I’m interested in, in case anybody has some advice or input on any occupations I’ve listed or have experience in anything I’ve listed.
I guess another thing to mention is that I was recently applying to a lot of jobs in childcare and pretty much every interview I went to turn me down on the spot because of my appearance. Of course I hear the stories of looking less professional due to your tattoos, piercings, etc., which I never understand. I don’t even have a single tattoo or piercing, not even my ears, but I have bright pink hair and that has been such a downside for the interviewing processes, even some retail jobs like Box Lunch for example doesn’t accept colored hair when they’re literally a pop culture store and share the same company as Hot Topic. I don’t want to have to change my appearance for a job. I know it’s just hair but I was never able to express myself the way I wanted to and the amount of money and maintenance that goes with having colored hair would not be worth it to me to color black just to get a job. It would feel like I’m altering myself and changing something that makes me feel good about myself is unfair and already puts a bad taste in my mouth about the company because they are willing to look over my qualifications and work ethic due to one minor detail in my appearance. One of these jobs I even had two on the phone interviews that went amazing and was going to my final in person interview and was literally meeting with a family for a behavioral technician job and the first thing they (the company) told me was I would need to change my hair to even be considered and I had to eventually politely end the interview because they still wanted to me to meet a kid despite straight up telling me they will not hire me if I didn’t immediately change my hair… and I’d be working with a family, not even in a ‘ public setting.’ I would just love to be able to work in a community that embraces people for their differences for the way they express themselves, and encourages self expression.
Anyways, here are some of my interests and I’d be eternally grateful to hear any feedback! Maybe you’ve worked in some of these environments and have advice or horror stories, if you have similar interests to me let me know what kind of job you have because I’m sure I don’t even know the formal titles to half of these jobs, or even have other ideas that match my interests. Thank you thank you thank you!

• A lost 22 year old just trying to find her way

TLDR: I have so many interests and have no idea where to go with my next steps in my career and schooling, and would love some advice based off of my interest and experience. My unnaturally colored hair gets me nowhere. My experience and interests are listed below.
My schooling/ experience so far: * 5 years of theatre under my belt (onstage/backstage/management) * Just graduated with my AA in Social & Behavioral Sciences (Random but was recommended to do so based on all of the same interest I told my counselor some odd years ago) * Most of my college classes were focused in sociology, psychology, and child development, which has been super interesting so I am willing to branch out from my interest because I did find a lot of interest in the classes I’ve taken previously. * Have worked in retail for four years; Pretty well received by people * A nanny to 4 kids (ages 4-16) for about 3.5 years as well
My personality: (not sure if this will help with knowing if I would be a good fit for any of the jobs listed )
i’m extremely bubbly and can have my extroverted moments, but I can also be introverted at times and when work needs to get done, I will figure out the best way to do it and get to work. I work pretty well with a team and always have ideas flowing and bouncing around, but I can also excel working on my own/have no issues being independent with my work. I don’t have a huge preference on a fast versus slow paced work environment. I would like something flexible, but I have no issue with getting into a routine. I feel like I am truly pretty flexible when it comes to my work environment, I just really want a place that I can express myself and be surrounded by a community of people similar to me. I love to be innovative and creative.
My interests/ ideas: (sorry kinda random and jumps around)

• always wanted to be a nanny or travel nanny; to work with one specific family and grow with them
• Pre-k - 1st grade teacher; I find teaching younger kids really fulfilling, love crafts/ activities/planning, extremely patient
• Art teacher (i love ceramics, but pretty much any type of art would be so cool to incorporate creativity with teaching)
• Child advocate (possibly on movie and tv sets)
• Teacher on movie and television sets
• Directing or any sort of behind the scenes job for movies and television (I love to write and create concepts, costuming, sets, music, casting)
• Set designer for movies, television, or theater
• Costume designer for movies, television, or theater
• Possibly work with an acting company backstage (I don’t even know if that’s a job but possibly a permanent backstage role somewhere)
• Open my own curated thrift shop or a shop in general that is really creative or theme oriented
• Have a small bakery business or just a business in general, I love the idea of being able to run a company or brand that’s inclusive and creative
• I do love to bake and Decorate desserts
• Creative Director; photographer, videographer; I just love the thought of creating things and bringing concepts together, planning, etc.
• Magazine company?
• Wedding planning/party and event planning; again, I just like bringing things together I feel like I have an eye for aesthetics
• Something with marketing or managing

As you can see, most of my interest have to do with childcare and the arts, which are some of the lowest paying jobs/difficult fields to get into, but it’s what I most passionate about and what I can actually see myself being happy doing for a long time. i’m also not opposed to working in one certain field for a while and then branching out to something different or related further down the line, I just want to know what step I should take next so I’m not just floating around doing nothing and being/fill, I just want to know what step I should take next so I’m not just floating around doing nothing and being/feeling useless.
Thank you so much to anyone who responds with advice and kind words :)

I (64F) have finally joined the ranks of the semi-retired and actually able to stop in at the LYS on a weekday (hours 10-3 Tue-Sat). It's a nice shop with a lovely, personable owner. I've been in before on Saturdays when i could make it. We were chatting about my recent change and she invited me to join their weekly knitting group. Cool...I've always wanted to do that. I've been a solitary knitter for decades among my STEM research colleagues and looked forward to chilling out with fellow fibernerds.
It was very awkward. The ladies (all female) seemed to huff about having to pull in another chair to make room for a newcomer. I introduced myself, and there were a couple friendly smiles. The ensuing conversation was all very churchy, and I picked up a real side-eye toward my purple & gray hair.
As a scientist, I reminded myself that I needed more than one datapoint, so I gave it another shot the following week. Same people, same seating arrangement, same feeling like I was crashing someone's personal party.
Guess it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Give me a couple sticks, some string, a good podcast, and I'm happy. Just curious how many of us are lone outlaw knitters?

It has been 20 years now since 8th grade, but I can't help but think this particular incident negatively impacted me throughout High School and into adulthood. Here is the backstory:
In 8th grade I had a guy named Ben in a couple (or maybe most) of my classes. I knew who he was throughout middle school, but only really started talking to him in 8th grade. He was funny but at the same time had a tough exterior and was cool. I was a somewhat shy kid and didn't have that many close friends in Middle School. But I really wanted to "belong." Anyway, Ben would always make small talk with me and I started thinking to myself "Hey, this is a guy I could see myself being friends with." I thought it was cool that he was actually initiating conversation with me so I did the same. We weren't close, but we had mutual "like" for each other.
About halfway through the year, a guy named Geoff moved to our school (He was there in 7th grade but I didn't know him). Him and Ben were already best friends- not sure if they knew each other before 7th grade or if it was during 7th grade that they became friends. But I had him for a few classes as well, with one of them being in a class with both him and Ben (it was health class I think). We were "cool" with each other I guess until he started dating my ex girlfriend and she talked crap about me to him and it made him "hate" me. I don't even remember exactly what she said, but it was basically that I was a "bad person" to her after we broke up and of course he's inclined to believe his GF and will protect her (she told me on the bus that he hated me after hearing about what kind of "person" I am and another guy said he wanted to beat me up). I never did talk to him about it, I honestly just ignored it and he ignored me in return. Then they broke up within a couple weeks anyway because middle school relationships never last. So everybody is happy (or not).
So Ben is unaware of Geoff's dislike towards me which is cool, because he doesn't need to know our drama. Ben talks to me about having a party with some guys from our school at his place next weekend and says I'm invited. Basically we would play video games such as Halo and would spend the night. He told me "I'm inviting you because I really think you're cool." He also asked for my phone number (our house phone, I didn't have a cell phone) and that he would call my place tonight. He said "If your parents don't recognize the number, just say it's your friend inviting you over." I was on cloud nine. Not only was I getting invited by someone I thought was cool, but he said "Friend!?" As someone who had some social anxiety, I felt like the luckiest guy. Later that day, he showed me the invite list and my name was on it and there were about 5 or 6 other guys that I knew, including Geoff. I was cool with the list and figured since Geoff wasn't dating my ex anymore that his so-called "hatred" towards me didn't apply anymore. I was wrong.
In our health class, Ben was showing Geoff the list. I was sitting somewhat close, close enough to hear them. Then I heard Geoff say "rmchampion? No, you can't invite him, he's gay!" (not homosexual, but gay was used as an insult or a slang) Ben looked over at me and said "No he's not" and he knew that I was listening because I started watching them. You could see sadness in his eyes. My heart sank. The teacher (unaware of what was going on) started talking so basically it was a "We'll talk later" and the bell rang for the next class shortly after (I didn't have a class with Ben for the rest of the day). I was mortified and the rest of the day was a blur to me. I was holding out hope for that night that I would get the phone call from Ben talking about his party but it never came. I remember waking up the next morning for school feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't have the courage to ask Ben about the party and if I was still invited. It took one of the guys that was on the list (his name was Andrew), to ask about the guests to Ben (we were in the same table/group for one of our classes) and said "isn't rmchampion going too?" And Ben replied "No." I was crushed inside but didn't show it. Ben was never "mean" to me, but I feel like we were never the same after that. It was even worse when Geoff was talking to this girl saying "We need a stripper at Ben's party, you should come." Not because of her being a stripper per say, but the way that I was feeling FOMO.
Geoff ended up moving away again after 8th grade and I didn't really have any classes with Ben again in High School. Years later after High School, Ben saw me getting gas and he randomly went up to me and said "Hey, I remember you from school, I just thought I would say hi" and I'm like "Oh yeah, hi!" and he was like "Well, good to see you!"
I do think that really scarred me. Of course, I moved on from that incident and made other friends. But now I am terrified of rejection. Maybe that's why I'm still single. And when friends make plans with me, I try not to get too excited until it actually happens because I know that another "Geoff" could come into my life and ruin it. So, thanks Geoff, you made me struggle with confidence for years.
Not really sure what my motive is here, just want thoughts on this. I never really told anybody about this. Not even my parents knew about it. I think I was too embarrassed.

I wasn't active until the start of this year so I missed the whole 2023 advent calendar. out of interest I went back and looked at the whole orion/clues etc thing that happened tangentially to the advent in case it yielded any clues for the upcoming plot. watching back over the daily animations and prizes, I noticed:
day 5: Y25 plushie released as a prize. it has previously been speculated that this yurble is the one appearing in the vandalized neopian travel posters.
day 6: orion dialogue suggests he believes "something terrible is about to happen". the prize released on this day is a book "the big book of intermediate evil plots". more interestingly, the accompanying animation shows a lupe being haunted by the shadow usul.
going to shadow usul's neopedia page, we can read a short text detailing the shadow usul setting upon someone in a dark forest:
"Don't tell me... NO!" Toby shouted as he turned to look, only to see that the sky was filled with waves of boulders, as big as codestones, coming right at him. "AAARRGH!!!" The poor Gelert bellowed, as his body became swollen and bruised, racked by a pain the likes of which he'd never experienced before.
"Heh, magic pebbles." the Shadow Usul chuckled, while unleashing a mighty torrent on the poor, overmatched Gelert. "But I'm only getting started... just watch!"
magic pebble was an old faerie ability used in the battledome, but has been retired for some time. shadow usul goes on to use two? other retired abilities but this is the only one explicitly named, and is also her opening move.
day 7: what are the prizes today? pebble and Christmas Rock.
?????? what has shadow usul got to do with anything? who knows. just thought it was strange coincidence. I Personally hoping this means we un-retire all those interesting moves when the battledome part of the plot begins. but for now I'm just going to stash a bunch of those advent prizes in case they're relevant later. please roast me in the comments if this is unhinged/been speculated on before and I'm late to the party

It has been 20 years now since 8th grade, but I can't help but think this particular incident negatively impacted me throughout High School and into adulthood. Here is the backstory:
In 8th grade I had a guy named Ben in a couple (or maybe most) of my classes. I knew who he was throughout middle school, but only really started talking to him in 8th grade. He was funny but at the same time had a tough exterior and was cool. I was a somewhat shy kid and didn't have that many close friends in Middle School. But I really wanted to "belong." Anyway, Ben would always make small talk with me and I started thinking to myself "Hey, this is a guy I could see myself being friends with." I thought it was cool that he was actually initiating conversation with me so I did the same. We weren't close, but we had mutual "like" for each other.
About halfway through the year, a guy named Geoff moved to our school (He was there in 7th grade but I didn't know him). Him and Ben were already best friends- not sure if they knew each other before 7th grade or if it was during 7th grade that they became friends. But I had him for a few classes as well, with one of them being in a class with both him and Ben (it was health class I think). We were "cool" with each other I guess until he started dating my ex girlfriend and she talked crap about me to him and it made him "hate" me. I don't even remember exactly what she said, but it was basically that I was a "bad person" to her after we broke up and of course he's inclined to believe his GF and will protect her (she told me on the bus that he hated me after hearing about what kind of "person" I am and another guy said he wanted to beat me up). I never did talk to him about it, I honestly just ignored it and he ignored me in return. Then they broke up within a couple weeks anyway because middle school relationships never last. So everybody is happy (or not).
So Ben is unaware of Geoff's dislike towards me which is cool, because he doesn't need to know our drama. Ben talks to me about having a party with some guys from our school at his place next weekend and says I'm invited. Basically we would play video games such as Halo and would spend the night. He told me "I'm inviting you because I really think you're cool." He also asked for my phone number (our house phone, I didn't have a cell phone) and that he would call my place tonight. He said "If your parents don't recognize the number, just say it's your friend inviting you over." I was on cloud nine. Not only was I getting invited by someone I thought was cool, but he said "Friend!?" As someone who had some social anxiety, I felt like the luckiest guy. Later that day, he showed me the invite list and my name was on it and there were about 5 or 6 other guys that I knew, including Geoff. I was cool with the list and figured since Geoff wasn't dating my ex anymore that his so-called "hatred" towards me didn't apply anymore. I was wrong.
In our health class, Ben was showing Geoff the list. I was sitting somewhat close, close enough to hear them. Then I heard Geoff say "rmchampion? No, you can't invite him, he's gay!" (not homosexual, but gay was used as an insult or a slang) Ben looked over at me and said "No he's not" and he knew that I was listening because I started watching them. You could see sadness in his eyes. My heart sank. The teacher (unaware of what was going on) started talking so basically it was a "We'll talk later" and the bell rang for the next class shortly after (I didn't have a class with Ben for the rest of the day). I was mortified and the rest of the day was a blur to me. I was holding out hope for that night that I would get the phone call from Ben talking about his party but it never came. I remember waking up the next morning for school feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't have the courage to ask Ben about the party and if I was still invited. It took one of the guys that was on the list (his name was Andrew), to ask about the guests to Ben (we were in the same table/group for one of our classes) and said "isn't rmchampion going too?" And Ben replied "No." I was crushed inside but didn't show it. Ben was never "mean" to me, but I feel like we were never the same after that. It was even worse when Geoff was talking to this girl saying "We need a stripper at Ben's party, you should come." Not because of her being a stripper per say, but the way that I was feeling FOMO.
Geoff ended up moving away again after 8th grade and I didn't really have any classes with Ben again in High School. Years later after High School, Ben saw me getting gas and he randomly went up to me and said "Hey, I remember you from school, I just thought I would say hi" and I'm like "Oh yeah, hi!" and he was like "Well, good to see you!"
I do think that really scarred me. Of course, I moved on from that incident and made other friends. But now I am terrified of rejection. Maybe that's why I'm still single. And when friends make plans with me, I try not to get too excited until it actually happens because I know that another "Geoff" could come into my life and ruin it. So, thanks Geoff, you made me struggle with confidence for years.
Not really sure what my motive is here, just want thoughts on this. I never really told anybody about this. Not even my parents knew about it. I think I was too embarrassed.

Social Media and smartphones are warping how we see the real world and our reality is losing nuance rapidly.
Take the man or bear debate as a recent example. The whole premise is unhelpful and based on a glaring falsehood. It's like a 13-year-old's first essay on a topic they know next to nothing about. I'm pretty sure actual survivors of sexual abuse don't give a single damn about this "dilemma". They have real issues to deal with that those of us who are engaging in this discourse have the privilege of not having to deal with. All this fad is doing is spread the paranoid notion that there are male predators waiting around every other corner. How is that helping survivors of abuse with real trauma and fears that they carry with them in public places on a daily basis? It is absolutely not a show of solidarity to those who have actually suffered, yet people do genuinely believe they are "raising awareness", or "taking a stand".
I mean it's a far-less improbable yet ironic scenario to imagine someone walking the dim city streets at night alone with their necks bent square over their smartphones, going round corners oblivious to their surroundings while texting "I'll take the bear lol". Those same people will say they're afraid to walk alone at night and they yeard for the bear. I made that scenario up, but I've literally seen people bumping into walls and into other people in a smart phone-induced trance and just continuing like nothing happened and I've also seen people gleefully (not ruefully) opt for "the bear". What I mean is a lot of people are claiming to be terrified when they're not.
Like with the Tik-tok trend that's been dangerously telling people they have "high-functioning anxiety" without professional diagnoses, where if everyone is mentally ill then no one is mentally ill¹, it also stands to reason that if everyone is afraid, then no one is afraid. It's a dangerous way of "showing solidarity" to let pervade through society. I'm no Jordan Peterson fan, but this is a good example of the dangers of fake solidarity*. It's not just fake; it's damaging.
The whole bear vs man thing just seems to polarise people into two camps who perceive the other either as man-haters or rape-apologists. But you know what? it's not even close to being real and does absolutely nothing to bring people of differing views any closer to understanding each other. I also 100% guarantee you that those who "choose the bear" don't actually practise what they preach in their lives to even the slightest degree. One example I witnessed was at a recent social occasion where a female high school teacher whom I know quite well told her boyfriend and father to ask her if she was alone in the woods, what she would prefer... Before she even said the words "bear", or "man", I knew where where we were heading and intuitively knew what her answer was going to be.
It wasn't a debate from the very beginning. It was more like a joke - a weird joke about sexual assault told in the first person. Before she'd even got to her supposedly mind-blowing punchline (which was, in case you're a bit late to this party, "I'd choose the bear because the bear won't rape me!"), everyone seemed to know what it was going to be. Given the expectant grin on her face when she said these impactful words, It didn't turn out to be the “gotcha” she thought it was going to be. This was quite an awkward experience. I can only guess that the "gotcha" aimed at the men in the room was supposed to educate them to be ashamed to be male on the spot. It didn’t. I explained why I thought the whole thing was flawed and I was informed I needed to lighten up. I was definitely mistaken in thinking that it was a chance to talk philosophy (is it ever these days?), but perpetuating the idea that "male rapists are everywhere" while simultaneously trivialising real suffering of abuse goes completely unchecked because when we engage in this form of discourse we reduce ourselves to vacuous, infantile creatures who ironically think they're acting like fully-developed adults. Rape is light-hearted; yet - and this is where the cognitive disonance gets really odd - you're either standing up for it or you're standing up against it, but no matter what side you're on, it's funny. Instead of thinking, "why is she grinning?!", we're thinking, "what side am I on and how can I also somehow make it funny?". When in reality, it's surface-level shock-value statements with zero nuance that we allow to insincerely represent us (the wide-grinning rape denouncer doesn't practise what she preaches: she isn't a raging man-hater; she's a decent person, but for some reason, she's adopted an inane comic-strip view on something as serious as rape - and incredibly, it's all in the defence of victims!).
And this way of engaging in discourse is everywhere. On Reddit, Facebook, Twitter etc., the finger-pointing and artificial coralling of all of us into fake dualities of misogynist vs virgin-for-life simp, misandrist vs patriachy-enabler, racist vs communist and many others are rife and it's finding its way into real-life discourse at the dinner table, the classroom and the office.
If we artificially and insincerely self-separate into these 1s and 0s, are we making it easier for the A.I. on our devices to "understand" us, classify us, manipulate us and ultimately annihilate us?
OK, maybe I went too far there, but is this jarring lack of nuance really the only way we want to "talk about" serious topics now? Is it only going to get worse? I feel like it wasn't long ago you could have real discussions about issues, but this art is dying - and rapidly. You can probably sense my frustration at how society is organising itself right now and I'd love to know if anyone has any suggestions on what we can do to encourage healthy conversations and debate with each other. Maybe I'm the problem. I used to be surrounded by people who took part in stimulating, nuanced debate and now I'm not. We used to tolerate different viewpoints and we didn't confront and "block" each other on a hair-trigger. Maybe I'm old and the kids are actually all right. Let me know.
¹ ~https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5MCw8446gs&ab_channel=TheNewYorkTimes~
*I couldn't find a good quote for this, but similarly, he terms it "narcissistic compassion"

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language.
Bee: I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her.
Shawn and Penny: I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be.
Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy.
After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do so that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents.
But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone.
Anne and Chris: Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris.
But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris.
Guess what, Anne went to her Village again and she ghosted Chris.
Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew both their intentions weren't good. I mean yeah it's their life but They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much.
Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID.
He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again.
My boyfriend: In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through an online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them.
And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times when they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really.
In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well.
Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me.
Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother.
Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her.
Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me.
She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money.
Friendship break:
I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore, because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words.
I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom". I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said "ik why you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad" Then I said "consider the money as charity and get lost". Blocked.
Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what.

1. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come).
2. I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine).
3. I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame the job but just saying for the words he told me).
4. Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke our friendship because they realised the kind of person she is.
5. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol.
6. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne.
7. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes and she's the type of person who loves lavish parties, not hanging out with her sister). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could.

So AITA?

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/bomblebeeee
Originally posted to relationship_advice + TrueOffMyChest
My (28f) fiance (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, mentions of mental health issues, emotional abuse and manipulation
My (28f) fiancé (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?: May 1, 2024
TLDR at the bottom.
(28f) am getting married today to my fiance (30m). It's the legal document signing and our ceremony is on Saturday. I haven't slept in 24 hours I just am feeling so much anxiety.
For reference we were togetheliving together for about 3 years before becoming long distance for one and a half years. I'm back in the country for a week to visit him and family and to have our wedding.
For the last month he has been ghosting me for sometimes even weeks at a time. I know it's because he's going through a mental health crisis, but no matter how much I tell him his actions are causing me pain and straining our communication, he can't change. When he goes through rough times he absolutely shuts down for everyone, especially me. It hurts so much every time knowing that even the person he says is his best friend and future wife, he doesn't trust or respect enough to share or ease his pain.
I thought coming back to the country and the marriage would wake him up from his ghosting tendencies this past month, but it's not. He had a very important meeting at work yesterday that either meant he'd get a raise or be unemployed, and now I don't hear anything from him at all. He's ignoring my calls, he's ignoring my texts (and there are read receipts so I know it's intentionally ignored). It's the morning of, and we are literally set to sign our marriage paperwork in a few hours from now. But I was up all night because I can't shake the anxiety that this isn't what he wants. That hes just doing this to "appease" me despite this being a joint decision.
I still can't even get a hold or reach him. I try so hard to communicate everything with him, but this hurts me deeply, down to my core. Part of me wants to drive over to his apartment and beat his door down and just demand answers as to how he could treat someone he claims he loves this way. But I know he'd just shut down further, say he's sorry, and then bury himself deeper into his guilt and depression.
How can I be supportive through his mental health crisis while also keeping firm on the "this is 500000% some disrespectful and harmful behavior that is absolutely unacceptable" in my opinion. When we were about to be long distance he begged me to try it out because I knew his inability to properly communicate his feelings would be miserable over long distance. But he begged me and promised he would change. I would say he did improve but if this last month has shown me anything it's that I'm about to marry someone who has no qualms and sees no consequence in ghosting your spouse for weeks at a time.
This whole thing gives me so much anxiety I have no idea what to do. Any advice on how to calm my anxiety or maybe try to be more supportive to coax him out of the horrid way his depressive episode is manifesting would be greatly appreciated.
Before I forget, yes of course I've tried to get him to see a therapist or get on medication. For years. There is basically a 0% chance that, if it's coming from me or anyone in my family, he would ever listen to that advice. It's incredibly frustrating and not an option that I can even bring up with him anymore without the conversation devolving and him shutting me out even further.
(I will not be tolerating or responding to any accusations of him cheating or people just saying don't marry him. He is loyal but has a multitude of mental health issues, and I will marry him regardless of what anyone says on the internet. I just want some advice is all.)
TLDR: My fiance keeps ghosting me for weeks at a time and he's doing it again even on the day we are getting married which is causing me insane anxiety.
Edit: I won't be reading anything anymore, and please stop messaging me. If you see a woman who is genuinely struggling with something and clearly has no one else to turn to for advice other than random people on the internet and your response is to ridicule her and call her an idiot.... Then congratulations my last idea of seeking help has failed. Clearly I had no one else to go to, it's my wedding day and I'm on reddit. I don't know why I expected anything less than hate messages and ridicule. Maybe there isn't some magic way to help him through this period of grief, but I didn't think I deserved to be sent all these cruel messages so instantly. To the people messaging me and calling stupid, idiotic, doormat, and that I deserve whatever unhappy life awaits me, you've won.
Relevant Comments
Icy-Original: He’s been ghosting you for the last month and you thought marriage would fix this? You don’t want anyone here to tell you not to marry him when that’s the most logical and smart decision here. You’ve created your own misery and are determined to continue doing so so what do you want from us? We can’t make him unghost you and we can’t make you feel better about this decision you know is dumb as hell. You have a man with mental health problems that refuses to get help, that’s causing severe relationship issues and you’re willingly signing yourself up, aligning yourself legally to have more of these problems till death do you part? When you have kids and he ghost you then what are you going to do? I hope you get what you deserve from this situation. Whatever that entails.

OOP: This marriage has been planned for much longer than just the last month. It wasn't some solution I created by myself. And it isn't no contact for the whole month. Just a week of no contact before he comes back and apologizes for the absence due to unavoidable life events. Then contact for a week before another week of no contact before something else comes up. We spent the whole day together 3 days ago, but because of the meeting yesterday it's now been a day and a half of nothing again. To answer your question of what I'd like, compassion and actual helpful advice was what I was searching for. Not judgement and malice.

 
I was left at the altar yesterday: May 2, 2024
My life was great. My relationship was great. Until yesterday it suddenly wasn't. The last month felt a bit off but I didn't think it would lead to this. I still love him intensely. He still loves me intensely. He wants to stay with me it's just that he says he can't do marriage because he can't untie the trauma he has from the idea of it from his childhood (cult stuff).
My mom says I'll be a pathetic fucking loser if I still stay with him regardless and that he'll never be a part of the family. But I want to stay with him regardless. But I don't know if I can live with the constant fear, anxiety, and insecurites that will come from being with someone who can just leave whenever he feels like it.
My wedding is on Saturday and my family still wants to have it since it's more of a small family gathering already anyways (since his family wasn't invited due to cult stuff). My life as I know it feels completely over. I don't know what to do. The person I turned to for empathy and compassion turned to me screaming that I'm a fucking idiot. I'm only in the country for my wedding, I live abroad. My new job and my fiancee pressured me and reassured me I should already use my new married name professionally. I'm a teacher and all my kids already know me as his name.
Everything sucks and I can't stop sobbing.
Edit: to clarify. He left me while we were about to sign the marriage certificate. It's a symbolic left at the altar since there was never going to be an actual altar anyway.
Update: I told my mom that the way she phrased her advice/opinion was cruel. She told me she's tired of my drama and doesn't need it in her old age. I already had told her she was right and I knew what she said was right, but just that the way she said it was cruel. She said she no longer cares about maintaining a relationship with me and that it isn't worth the drama at her age. I apologized because she's right. I'm a piece of shit who never saw that this situation hurt and humiliated her too. I wanted to just have this be a nice party with friends and just spend time together. I'm going to try my best to keep my negativity inside so it doesn't spoil the mood and maybe there's a hope to salvage it as a good party. But I think once I return abroad that this will be the last time my mom will ever speak to me again. I don't know how I could repay her for all she spent on this wedding, but hopefully removing myself from her life will maybe make her life more peaceful and less stressful, even if it destroys me.
As for him, thank you all so much for your kindness, advice, and perspectives. It truly makes me feel better to read the comments even if they hurt and I deserve it. We will be talking about it tomorrow in person, and I've scheduled an emergency therapy appointment for myself for tomorrow morning. Ive never done therapy before, and I'm scared, but I know it's what I need. I'm so angry at him for ruining my entire life that I don't know if the love I have can salvage this.
Relevant Comments
Geezell: No, hon. You can’t be with someone who cannot effectively communicate their fears and needs and, instead, choose to run. He failed you. He does not get to treat you like that. You deserve better. Your Mom may have let her anger for you make her word things poorly but she is right….that dude does not get to have his cake and eat it too.
Go back home. Go no contact with him. Finish out the teaching contract as it. Then, my recommendation is to find a teaching job in a dream location. Maybe, be a traveling teacher for a few years. Heal. Live big. And, if you wish, find love again.

OOP: I am a travelling teacher already. I'm home right now just for the week so that I could do my wedding. Back to where I live abroad next week to live a life of isolation and loneliness.

thunderchaud: Please elaborate on cult stuff, that could literally be anything

OOP: He's seen marriage used as a way to entrap and oppress women due to the cult culture of his family. He doesn't understand that what he's done is created a tilted power dynamic where he's holding all the power and autonomy and I'm the scared, anxiety riddled one terrified he'll leave at any moment in any possible future we may have now. Which is honestly worse in my opinion.

detikripur: So many questions but at the top of my head is these: why did he agree to “marry” you? Why were you using a name that wasn’t yours for so long that your students know you by that name? Haven’t you talked beforehand with him? Was this relationship one sided?

OOP: He asked me to marry him. My job told me to start using his name because the school year started in April and I would be changing my name in May. I said no it felt like I'd jinx it. I called him and he said stop being such an over thinker and just use my name. I talked with him, he reassured me. It's been 3 weeks that my kids know me as that name. And to be honest yes it does feel one sided. But not in the way you're implying.

 
Update: I was left at the altar yesterday: May 8, 2024
For a brief recap, I was going to the officiant to sign my marriage license with my fiance (who I'd been with for 4 years). He chickened out and said he couldn't marry me and ruptured my image of us. TLDR at bottom.
On to the update. Since I was so brutally humiliated, it really made me think back on all the not great parts of us. He was always very gaslighty whenever I'd claim his actions reflected the opposite of his words (I respect you, I care for you). So I ended up talking to him. I asked him to define what his definition of loving someone, respecting someone, caring for someone, and trusting someone means. Needless to say they were twisted and not healthy at all. I tried to make him see that and he had a few moments of holy shit I think you're right, I don't actually trust or respect you.
Now just because he admitted it didn't mean the crazy selfish actions didn't continue throughout the entirety of the conversation. It was so crazy how I'd never been able to articulate it in a way to where he actually understood before. He actually had the gall to say "Wow we should have had this conversation a long time ago" because of how much he was realizing he was treating me like trash then gaslighting me about it. I was like bitch I've been trying to tell you this for years but you never respected me enough to listen and I was always too emotional to articulate it properly.
Anyways, he wanted to do marriage counseling with the intent to marry at the end. I told him I'd rather break up because the power dynamic is too shifted and I don't feel like it's salvageable. With how he was listening to me and finally acknowledging and understanding me and his own actions I was hopeful for maybe a friendship one day in the distant future. But after a teary, bittersweet goodbye, he absolutely ruined it with yet another selfish action right at the last moment.
I didn't want to be touched or do physical affection for multiple reasons. One of the main reasons being he uses it for comfort when he's feeling sorry for himself. I had just spent 3 hours explaining how he never thinks of me in any of his actions, and maybe it's cruel of me to keep that last kiss or whatever, but it felt selfish and manipulative to me. So after an actually heartfelt goodbye and promise to be better people in the future, we part ways. Only for him to run back to me to try and do some romantic swoop in and kiss me. I recoiled really fast and honestly just stared at him incredulously. Like he had just ignored everything I had just said. That was the moment I went from sadness and grief from losing something so important to me, to just numb and angry about it.
I haven't cried since, I don't even feel sad when I think about him because all I can think about is how angry the whole thing makes me feel. I'm 28 and feel like I wasted my good years on someone who had zero regard for me in any capacity. I developed so many new insecurities, confidence issues, and trauma from 4 years with him and now I have to navigate the dating pool again with all of that (in a foreign country no less!)
TLDR: I broke up with him and I'm just angry now.
Relevant/Top Comments
Libra_8118: How are you and your mom doing? It sounds like you left your home and family for him. Are you thinking of coming back home?

OOP: Both my family and him are in America. I left for me, my dreams, and career. I'm actually thankful that I can go back abroad to be away from him and honestly I need some time away from my mom as well.

Forward-Cockroach945: Bravo I'm so proud of you for finally ending it with him. It's likely he only "understands" you now as a form of gaslighting and trying to placate you . I know it hurts now but with time you will heal and be stronger. Don't worry about dating right now, worry about loving yourself and nurturing yourself. Give yourself all the love support and understanding you normally gave to him. You deserve it. I hope your therapy visits go well and help you build up your self worth and bullshit detector. I'm so glad to hear you took the right steps towards a healthier happier life
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

My daughter is turning 8 this year, party is this weekend. She named 4 friends she wants to invite from school. Inviting them is already a hassle because unless we want to invite the whole class, the rule is to basically invite them secretly. Which feels impossible since the teachers walk the bus kids straight to the bus, and parents grab their kids pretty quick (I don’t know any of the parents to catch them beforehand) last year was a mess trying to do this. Anyway, that’s the least of the worries.
I am currently at the worst I’ve ever been mental health wise. I am struggling deeply every single day to get out of bed. I am not depressed, but having the absolute worst anxiety daily I have ever experienced in my whole life. I’m in therapy and I’m working on it but obviously it’s not an overnight fix. I did reach out for help as soon as I was bedridden multiple days in a row.
My current anxiety struggles aren’t exactly social related but social situations do make it much harder and I already deal with social anxiety in general. Last year was extremely awkward trying to keep the parents feeling welcome while also tending to the party. One of them ended up even just leaving and coming back to pick their daughter up. I’m much younger than most of the moms and it feels super awkward for me. My whole family is… less than classy. We live in a trailer park, we curse, face tattoos, ya know. Not to stereotype ourselves but we fit it so it’s whatever. This makes me feel extra inclined to make them feel very welcome.
With the anxiety I’m dealing with, having her friends parents around honestly feels like the absolute worst thing in the world. I know it’s selfish. But I can already foresee a full blown meltdown if I’m worried about everything I’m already worried about, keeping the party going and then mingling with strangers. I can logically look at the situation and realize “it’s not that big of a deal” but I’m just not okay right now. Being around people I’m comfortable with just sounds… better in my mental state. My only goal is to just function half normal that day.
Her party is 4 days away and she hasn’t asked about school invitations. I’m going to play the “omg we forgot” card but it’s eating me up. She does have 1 school friend coming, I’m close friends with his mom as well as 2 other friends from my friends and plenty of kids in the family. Am I horrible?

For context I live about 2000 miles away from my family with my fiancé who is in the military and is supposed to deploy at any point in the next month or so which is just so great because I also don’t know when he’s coming back. We’re getting married in October and trying to plan that around his delayed deployment is extremely stressful. I am a full time undergrad online student and just added a minor while I’m starting my honors thesis research project in which I’m conducting my own study this fall. I work full time in a special ed classroom and while I love kids and love working with special needs kids and have a couple years of experience, I hate the classroom I’m in. There are 11 kids in it who are constantly, and I mean constantly, having behaviors. And I love behavioral analysis and all that, that’s what I’m studying, but these kids are so low that any behavior corrections do not work. And so I deal with kids pushing other kids, breaking their glasses, putting their hands in the toilet, eloping, dropping to the floor, everything you could possibly imagine. And the kids who do understand actively choose against making good choices. But schools are about to let out and I now have to find a new job for the summer which sucks. My fiancé was supposed to deploy about 2 months ago and didn’t so we’ve been sharing a car and while I love spending time with him more than anything, my only time alone now is my 30 minute break at lunch which I have to listen to my annoying ass fucking coworker yap the whole time in the teachers lounge. Also she is super frustrating too because I have to pick up a lot more slack because of her. But because I don’t have any alone time or time to reset after work (I usually would use my car ride home to listen to my music and reset) I've been taking my overly stressed, reactive work-self home to him and he told me today I have been mean to him a lot lately and I feel horrible about it because it's the last thing I want to do and he does not deserve any of that. On top of everything, we also found out that we are moving across the world at the end of the year so we now have to buy a new car, put a down payment on a place out there, buy a washer & dryer, and also move everything out there which includes our dog, who is also a massive pain in the ass as he is in his pterodactyl phase and constantly getting into anything he can. On top of all of those expenses (and the wedding), our roommate decided he is going to move out at the end of the lease instead of going month to month like we originally agreed on doing until we move, which means we have to find a place to live for 4 months. This means another down payment on an apartment when the studios around us don't go for under $2300. Great. So after he told us that, I decided that I could not attend my cousin's bach party in the summer in order to afford attending her wedding as a bridesmaid in December (which is also 2000 miles away, during the most expensive week to travel, and about a week before we move across the world), and told her I cannot pay my portion of the air bnb but that should be fine because its still 2.5 months out, and she could find someone to go in my place, find a different house, or ask everyone else to pay my portion which would come out to $30/person, which sucks, but I cannot spend $1500 on someones bach (flying, activities, airbnb, grocery, dogcare, parking my car, etc.) during this year of all years. I know I am kind of the asshole for canceling so close, but I can't control all of the unexpected finances I had come up this year. This understandably upset her, and she basically gave me the ultimatum of if I don't pay my portion for the airbnb she is gonna kick me from the bridal party. So that's fantastic truly. And on top of that, my parents are coming out to see me in a couple weeks, and this will be the last time I see my dad before he goes into a surgery that is extremely risky and if does not go well will leave him blind, and I am currently no contact with my deadbeat addict mom as she blocked me on social media for a reason unbeknownst to me. So I am fucking tired. I am stressed. I am burnt out. I am overwhelmed. I am frustrated. And I don't know what to do with any of those feelings because they are truly all "time will fix it" issues. I go to the gym, I eat well, and I prioritize sleep. But I am just stuck in this fucking limbo and I am treating my fiance like shit and I am performing so reactively at work and I feel horrible about that. Ugh. I am hoping this vent will help me get everything off my chest so I can be and feel better. If you read this far, thank you and I appreciate you.

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

Title pretty much says it but here’s my scenario.
I work as a teacher as my primary source of income. I also do gig work on the side. A typical month my pay spread is 60% if my income comes from teaching and 40% work comes from gig work. However, the gig work isn’t always reliable and months where it doesn’t come through, can be pretty tight. I have a 6 month emergency fund and I’m on pace to max out my Roth (not eligible for HSA.)
My question is once my Roth is maxed out for the year, and I move to step 6, what should I do? My initial thought was to increase my contributions to my 403b (employer retirement plan) but I’m iffy on that just because of the aforementioned tight months when gig work isn’t good. Are there other options I should consider here? What do you all think?

I never heard of a company Sobibor.