The minute you introduce your girlfriend to your Internet audience, as a public figure, you are responsible for everything.
She didn't have to show herself; nobody had to know about her, her name, or how she looks. Nobody told you you had to talk about her. You choose to date a young woman and advertise it online.
Talking shit to Tommy for the most insignificant stuff ever, was the most disgusting thing you did. You started to talk shit to him the minute he started to be a bit nicer to you couple months ago already. That's messed up. You stayed quiet when he blasted you at the beginning of the show, 30–40 episodes ago.
When he started to be more empathetic towards you, instead of being happy that there are people who legit want the best for you, you saw it as some kind of weakness you could exploit to feel somewhat better about yourself.
It is the same thing with Keemstar.
Don't forget who you are. It's not an insult, but think about where you were just 5–6 months ago, okay?! You're not on top of the world just because the show has some success. This could end tomorrow, for any reason. And you'll have nothing left, again.
You don't have to accept everything from everyone. You have the right to defend yourself against real BS. But don't be a POS to those who are the reasons you have a new platform! Stop lying, and stop thinking you are morally superior. And most important thing, don't be a hypocrite.
Tommy C., with Keemstar, whatever people think, are the only ones on this podcast who still have their heads on their shoulders. They are adults, fathers, and have more life experience than you ever had. They are the only reason this show exists—the only reason there is some kind of structure to it.
What makes the show is the weirdness of Wings and Boogie vs Keemstar, Tommy and the guests. But like with any show, - talents - by themselves are almost always useless and boring. They can't do shit by themselves.
I don't remember hearing about Boogie2988 looking to build a team for a successful and entertaining podcast. I only saw a Boogie waiting to have everything handed to him, as always.
This is not a hate message. You need to calm your tits, because pissing off the only people who are making you relevant again is the best way to fuck your future opportunities.
Yes, it's entertaining, but there is a fine line between being entertaining and being insulting. You're lucky to have a guy like Tommy who knows how to defuse the BS. And can take it on himself.
Bug he showed many times that he can ditch anything and anyone if he thinks he doesn't want to deal with the bs. I can totally see him be like : Fuck that, I'm out. That's the type of personnality I see.
Last thing.
Keemstar and Tommy can go back to what they were doing before the podcast. I'm sure the extra cash is nice to have, but both seem to have a life they can go back to at any time.
I find the podcast cool, and most of the time you and Wings are entertaining and funny. I don't want it to end.
Don't push your luck too much. Don't fuck this up.

Getting into blender on my desktop but I spend a lot of time away from home. I don’t know enough about laptops to confidently make my own choice. Would appreciate any and all help
Total budget- $2500 USD
-good condition used Are you open to refurbs/used?
-good battery life, durable build How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life?
-irrelevant How important is weight and thinness to you?
-15”+ Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A.
-running Blender 4.0 and low end games Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run.
-project zomboid, astroneer, going medieval type games at 60 fps If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want to play?

• As good a display as possible. High res with color correction (I’m unsure how possible this is for laptops) I record drone videos at 4k so a display to match is high on the priority list, but I can compromise here if I need to. Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)?

-Open to suggestions/criticism, this is my first laptop in a decade

This story was removed because apparently it's focused too much on pedophilia, which is curious, considering the fact that one of the most popular stories on this sub called "Penpal" is all about an adult being obsessed with a child.
Unlike "Penpal", my story actually has the moral which is - never trust anyone, not even your closest family, because they're the most likely ones to hurt you.
My sister vanished 50 years ago. I wish I had died ignorant of her fate.
April 19, 1974 was the day when our family's world shattered into pieces, forever changing our lives. Prior to this day, we were merely an ordinary, happy family. We've never been rich, but we loved each other very much. My parents, my younger sister Valerie and me - we had an inseparable bond. Siblings often don't get along too well, but that wasn't the case with us. I was 4 years older than Valerie, but I loved spending time with her and taking care of her. She was such a happy, bubbly girl. She was very smart, too. She learned how to read when she was just 4 years old, and she loved nature. Quite often, we used to visit our uncle Rainer on his huge, beautiful farm. While we were there, playing and exploring, Valerie used to search for various plants and bugs and then look them up in the thick botany and entomology books that our uncle kept in his impressive home library. We all held the conviction that she would become a biologist once she grew up. In the countryside, both us kids and our parents found joy, not just for its charm but also as a refuge from our less safe neighborhood. Rumors circulated among other kids about shady characters and ex-cons, but our parents' strictness kept Valerie and me out of trouble.
Until that fateful day came and changed everything. In 1974, I was 12 and Valerie was 8. Due to her charming personality, it was unsurprising that she made numerous friends while attending primary school. Each morning, she greeted the new day early with a burst of energy, unlike me, who liked to sleep in. However, on that Friday morning, it wasn't the sound of my alarm that woke me up. It was the sudden, piercing scream of panic—my mother's voice shattering the calm, jolting me awake. That morning, Valerie didn't emerge from her room for longer than usual. Concerned, my mom went to check on her, only to find her room empty, the window open, and her bed vacant.
I can barely recall any more details from that day and the following weeks. Fear and despair consumed us. The police were involved right away, and we held onto hope, praying for Valerie's safe return. But she never came back. I couldn't wrap my head around how one day my little sister was there with us, everything was normal, and then she simply vanished, leaving no trace, as if she never existed. It felt like we had all been living in a beautiful dream, only to abruptly awaken to a harsh reality. From that moment on, our lives became empty shells, devoid of our previous happiness and carelessness. My parents changed. They appeared tired, pale, and thin, a stark contrast to their former selves. They didn't speak much to me about the ongoing search and investigation. Instead, they just told me to pray for Valerie every night and to be brave. Eventually, after a few months, they began saying that Valerie was now an angel in heaven, watching over our family. Initially, I couldn't bring myself to accept it. I didn't want her to be an angel; I wanted her to be there with us, just like before. It felt incredibly unfair. Why did it have to be her? Why did it happen to our family, out of all families?
But time kept passing by. As the old saying goes, "you can get used to hanging if you hang long enough." And that's exactly what we did. Life went on. My parents continued to do their best to look after me, but it was a struggle for them. A few weeks after Valerie disappeared, they both turned to drinking, and they never really stopped. I don't blame them for it, not anymore. As I grew older and had children of my own, I couldn't even bear to imagine what I would do if anything happened to them. It would destroy me. So I never turned my back on my parents; I cared for them until the very end. As you can imagine, their health suffered after years of drinking and misery. They both passed away a couple of years ago. As for Valerie, when I was around 20, I finally mustered the courage to ask my parents for more details. Unfortunately, they didn't have much to share. There were no foreign fingerprints found in her room, and no blood or bodily fluids that, with today's forensic technology, could aid in DNA identification of a perpetrator. The only evidence the police uncovered were a few muddy footprints, left behind by men's boots, size 12. All men from our neighborhood with a criminal past were examined by the police, and search warrants were issued for a couple of houses. But still, there were no traces of my sister. Despite pursuing several leads, the authorities were unable to make any significant breakthroughs in the case. After that conversation, we never talked about Valerie again. I wasn't a child anymore, and I was aware of the cruel realities of the world. I couldn't bear to dwell on what might have happened to my dear little sister. The possibilities were simply too terrible.
It's been 50 years now, though I couldn't tell you where all that time has gone. I've lived a fulfilling life and am now a grandmother, surrounded by loved ones in a different state. However, recent events called me back to Maine to handle family affairs. My uncle Rainer passed away at the age of 90, leaving me as the sole beneficiary in his will, as he was never married and had no kids. I inherited his farm, which once served as a big playground for my sister and me. Now, it lay abandoned and neglected, in need of attention. I've made plans to visit my late uncle's home, sort through his belongings, and prepare the property for sale, keeping only a few mementos of his. While we weren't particularly close once I became an adult, he was still family. With the house in disarray, I've scheduled a two-week stay to clean up and set things right.
I decided to begin with his bedroom, which appeared to be the least cluttered of all the rooms. The first thing that caught my eye were two large, red boxes tucked beside his bed. They looked old and were filled with letters. Tons and tons of letters. It got me curious. My uncle was a mysterious man; come to think of it, he must've been quite lonely on his big farm in the middle of nowhere, with no family and not so many friends. Yet, perhaps he had shared a deep connection with someone, who deserved to know of his passing. So I picked up a couple of the letters from the nearest box and was surprised to conclude that all of them were written by him and appeared to never have been sent. They weren't dated, and they all started with "my dearest wife." As I said, my uncle was never married, so I was rather puzzled. I had heard whispers of his extensive travels before settling on the farm, leading me to speculate that he may have married abroad and kept it a secret. With him no longer among us, I reasoned that delving into his private correspondences wouldn't be overly intrusive. What can I say? I'm an older lady and I love me a good, old romantic tale. So I started to read.
The letters were filled with declarations of my uncle's undying love for his unnamed wife and descriptions of his daily work on the farm. They were all similar. Nothing suggested who the woman was. With a tinge of disappointment, I opened the second box and picked up a letter from the top of the pile. Judging from its appearance, it has been written pretty recently. As I read it, a creeping sense of realization and dread enveloped me, causing the blood to drain from my face. You probably already suspected where this story is headed, right? To you, it was probably obvious from the beginning. But believe me, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to uncover. I desperately wish I had remained in the dark. Without further delay, here is what my uncle penned in what would turn out to be his final letter:
My dearest wife,
My time has finally come. I can feel it deep within my weary bones. I am but a shadow of the young, strong, and handsome man you once knew. My life has stretched long, yet it has been a lonely journey since you left me. But we will meet again soon, and it makes me so incredibly happy. Thoughts of you have filled my every waking moment for decades. From the very first moment we spoke, I was captivated by your beauty, your extraordinary maturity, and intellect. You were the epitome of perfection, as if tailor-made for me. I had to have you.
You know, I've never stopped celebrating our wedding anniversary. Every April 19th was a sacred day for me. Do you remember? I do. When I close my eyes, I can relive the day when you finally entered my house as my bride. I've been waiting for it for so long. I remember the beautiful white dress I put on you and the flower crown I placed on your head, as a symbol of your innocence. I remember our first night together. Light of my life, fire of my loins. It's such a shame that our love had to remain hidden. Most people are narrow-minded and judgmental, and they wouldn't accept us. That's why we had to live in the shadows, my love. I know it wasn't perfect. You complained quite a lot, darling, but I didn't mind. That's what women do all the time. You didn't like your room; you said it was too dark and too cold. But all I did was for your own good, so that we could've been happy together.
We had only 4 beautiful years. Then it happened. It was so painful to lose our first child right after it was born. And you got so sick; there was so much blood. But I couldn't take you to the hospital; you knew that. Yet, your accusatory stare pierced me like a dagger. I had no choice but to let you go. A part of me died when I saw the light leave your eyes. But fate is relentless, indifferent to our pleas. I had to forge ahead alone, carrying within my heart your cherished memory.
There's one thing I deeply regret, and that is that I couldn't give you a proper burial. Our love had to remain concealed, even after you were gone. So believe me when I say that I cried my heart out when I watched the pigs consume the vessel that once held your radiant spirit. For that, I am terribly sorry. I hope that when we finally meet in heaven, you'll be able to forgive me, and we'll spend the rest of eternity together.
Until then, my beloved.
Your Rainer

NO PERVERTS PLZ, I HATE U AS MUCH AS I CAN AND DONT ASK ME WHAT AM I WEARING.
no old creeps. 16-20yo. urgently wanna make friends
wanna talk wit you😀
hello c:
Looking for friends (Scandinavians, Europeans, etc.), since I can’t make ones irl. Lmaooo, i want to have a friendly, funny, humorous and talk active conversations. my hobbies are: photography, sketching, reading (I’m a slow reader), also I like watching movies, and edit videos.
Besides, I always loose concentration, and sometimes can be delulu, so, any suggestions how to fed rid of it? imma preparing for the entrance exams.
Please, don’t forget to share with me your daily and happy moments and please, don’t be boring and asking strange and silly questions, that make no sense, don’t be rude and talk to me normally, I’m not a dry texter, I just feel the vibe from you and trynna fit ur atmosphere.
Also, plz, I’m very chatty and kinda shy, but when you get me more, I’m pretty nice person, you won’t regret talking to me. 😎🎀
p.s. if you have insta, we can exchange, and plz, don’t be dry, be bubbly, funny, crazy?? why not
unfortunately I don’t have WhatsApp or Snap, no discord or twitch sorry 😭💀🫶🏻
Have a nice day! - marie.

Hi everyone! I'm creating my first ever character for DnD for a game, and I've never played before, would you all mind helping me with my character?
So I went to my bookstore and bought the cheapest set of beginner dice I could find, a set of violet and black (black light powered) die and this plus the black-light dice tray is so edgy I thought it'd be funny to create a reverse-edgy character
So my character is a Male Drow, from a very powerful family with many blood thirsty siblings, but he is the nerdy polite kid who instead of a warrior, really just wants to run a mushroom business where he sells culinary varieties to top-siders, but hasn't interacted with any before, so he sets out for the surface to get to know how the other side lives and interacts with each other.
I want him to be casual about his upbringing, and letting mean comments kinda roll off his back in an oblivious "aw you're such a kidder!" kind of way, and I also want his name to mean something like "Twice Disappointment" one for being born a male drow, another for being a nice kid. Uhm I want him to have a giant backpack, loads of maps, and books on a lot of the flora and fauna of the world, for no particular -cough- neurodivergent projection reasons- as well as whatever the Dnd world's equivalent of some really expensive rich-kid gear, like michael kors bags, a black credit card with unlimited funding, and snippets of childhood stories that would make any other race of character side eye him widely (lol classic upper family drow stuff) but that's all I have so far!
I'm not really too familiar with dnd to know what class or weaponry he should use, but I was gonna use a "DND beginner build-your-character generator" for the rest, as this is only to hang with my friends and hopefully get into a new hobby and enjoy it after I got introduced via Critical Role, and BG3
thank you to everyone in advance, and any tips would be greatly appreciated!

So many jokes you could make on Soll. For example, after Alphonso's relocation to foreign (island) country and selling Gasom , you could hear how Soll dialike ut. And after it you may say that "it sounds familiar" because Soll loves on his ialand too. You may make it look like that Soll is just like Alphonso, which i think Soll absolutely hates. Or after Soll's commenting about match yoy may offer Soll to become couch. I think FC Anrica will die of delight if that happens and you may laugh that his now hust your worker and makes money to you. Or maybe a little bit embarrassing joke, but just listen: Alco-SOLL. REALLY?? There must be a pub like that in Anrica, really. Or how you could criticize Alphonso togeter wirth Soll despite hating each other. Alphonso even calls himself "panching bag" for both of you. It may be i'm so glad because of this only because i REALLY wanted to put Soll in jail (which Gloria Tory prevented), but all opportunities that you have for pissing him off are just brilliant. Only pity is that i can't go with him to the bathroom together once again. It would be so funny that i may die because of it. I hope "RADICALL" will right some interesting things about in their statements. Maybe even they will act like one Rizian journal after decriminalisation of one thing (i'm sorry, but i find this thing extremely funny). From this moment they will be real tabloid (or not?) But not only these things are matter. I could look to the Soll from rhe other side. I even liked him a little bit. I think this is one of the most interesting event in rhe whole Sordland company.

Since I was unsatisfied with my input lag, I was asking here for advice. I experimented a bit with my setup and would like to share my learnings here.
I am not a competitive gamer and not playing First Person Shooters. However the input lag was bothering me anyway a lot (and it still does).
When people talk about "input lag" it is very subjective. What some players might feel as unbearable lag is for others maybe not even noticeable. So I wanted to make it a bit scientific and measured it.
How I measured it So basically I want to measure the time between a button-press and the action on the screen. There is some hardware to do exactly this very precisely. Too much hassle for me. So I recorded some slow-motion videos with my Google Pixel and the Open Camera App. With this you can record videos with 120 Frames/s. Then I used TrackTimer to count the frames (I am sure that there are better ways to count). One frame is 8.3ms long. That resolution is more than enough to compare different input lags.
Then I recorded a bunch of videos of my finger pressing a button while also recording the screen, counted the frames and noted the results in a google sheet.
Also I want to note here that my experiments are by no means meant to be bullet-proof precise. I did the experiments to get a feeling of what I could improve. I noted that sometimes the results fluctuate quite a lot. Most of the time, I just took one sample instead of taking many and then averaging it. I invite reddit folks to mimic my experiments and extend and correct my findings.
My original setup One thing that I learned is that the input lag is dependent on the entire setup from ISP to Controller. So here is my initial setup

• A fiber connection in a small German town
• A FritzBox
• A 5GHz WiFi connection (Ethernet is not an option for me)
• A Chromecast with Google TV
• A Canton Smart SoundBar 10
• A ViewSonic M2 Projector
• A Switch Pro Controller (with 3m between me and the Chromecast)
• Geforce Now Priority subscription with Balanced Graphic settings
• Trine 5. I used the opening menu to measure the lag.

Measuring this gave me a input lag of 283ms.
This is a good moment to highlight that the ping that Geforce Now is showing in their stats is showing only a small fraction of the entire lag. In fact, for me the ping was always between 16ms and 18ms during all of my experiments.
Also this is a good moment to note that 283ms is not too bad. My partner is not even noticing it. For me, it feels notable and gives me a certain handicap when gaming. Personally, I would consider everything below ~150ms as really good enough everything below ~50 ms as not notable (50ms are about 3 frames on 60fps). Competitive Gamers might have higher standards.
The casting device Originally, I thought that the Chromecast was the main-issue here. So I replaced it with a Nvidia Shield Pro. That gave me 33ms less lag. That's at least something. I've also tested it on a MacBook Air M2, which gives similar results as the Shield Pro - but interestingly only when I was using a Bluetooth controller. Using the MacBooks Keyboard seems to add 42ms to the lag.
The best results I achieved with my Windows Laptop and keyboard (again 42ms faster than MacBook). But since I don't want to connect my Windows Laptop with the projector, I didn't do many experiments with it.
The controller I used a Switch Pro Controller. Although they are really nice, unfortunately they can be a bit laggy. I compared it with a XBox One controller and a 8bitdo Ultimate C controller (with the 2,4 GHz dongle).
Compared to the Switch Pro Controller, both the XBoxOne Controller and the 8bitdo controller gave 50ms smaller lag. In general, the XBox controller is quite decent on all devices that I tested. On the Shield pro it performs very similarly to the 8bitdo. However, the 8bitdo gives a more stable results. WIth bluetooth the lag increases when I hide the controller a bit behind my lag for example. The 8bitdo is also the controller I will be staying with.
The soundbar The HDMI signal goes from the shield first into my soundbar and then into the projector. Connecting directly to my projector does not seem to make any difference.
The projector / monitor This is where most of the optimization potential is. I am using a ViewSonic M2 LED projector. When connecting it to a (really cheap) monitor instead, I am getting a 91ms speedup. Also, I measured the same monitor later on my Laptop where it was 58ms slower then my Laptops build-in monitor. So I am suspecting that the ViewSonic M2 adds ~150ms to the total lag for me. That's a bummer, especially because I like that projector and didn't plan to replace it.
It seems that many monitoring devices (TV, Projector, Monitor) have a gaming mode that is supposed to minimize the lag. But not the ViewSonic M2 unfortunately.
The Geforce Now Subscription and settings I switched from GeForce Priority Subscription to an Ultimate Subscription and can tell that lag-wise it does not make a difference. It might make a difference for games which support Reflex. But I didn't test any of those games.
Also, there is a “Competitive” Graphic setting, (which is not available on the Shield Pro). Basically it deactivates V-Sync and keeps the Framerate up. Using “Competitive” made the lag 17ms less - but it comes with the cost of movement-stuttering. I couldn't play like this.
Also I tried to switch from 60FPS to 30FPS. Also I tried to use a smaller resolution. Interestingly, both made things worse. The best results I get with the "Balanced" default setting.
WiFi / Ethernet A general advice seems to be to use Ethernet instead of WIFI. Using ethernet is not an option for me and I didn't test it. But I would expect that WiFi 5Ghz is actually quite fast. I assume that the WIFI lag IS included in the ping that Geforce Now is showing in the stats (right?). For me this was always 16-18ms, so I don't see the need of improving that.
The game I measured the lag in some games main-menus and can tell that the lag varies a lot between games. As you see above, I avoid sharing absolute numbers and share relative numbers instead - because I think I haven't found a good benchmark-game.
The best lag I have meassured was 67ms on my Windows Laptop with Keyboard, Compatative Settings and the Game Kena (Main Menu).
My takeaways My journey ends with 200ms. I've got a 33ms improvement from switching from Chromecast to Shield Pro and a 50ms improvement from switching from Switch Pro controller to 8bitdo ultimate C.The next time I am searching for a projector I'll make sure that it is good for gaming.
Some general advice for people trying to improve their lag

1. A good and stable ping is important. <20ms is very good. If it's worse for you, either use better WiFi, ethernet or switch your ISP. Despite a good ping, you can still have input lags.
2. Check if your output device has Gaming mode.
3. If you are about to buy a output device, make sure it is good for gaming. Especially projectors are tricky as they often seem to come with quite some lag.
4. Don't use the Switch Pro Controller.
5. On a MacBook, interestingly, bluethoth controllers are faster then the build-in Keyboard
6. The XBox (One) Controller is very good. The 8bitdo Ultimate 2,4GHz controller is even a bit more stable it seems.
7. No need to subscribe to Ultimate. Balanced settings are good enough.
8. Some lag will never go away.

I am 15 months pp. I had a cesarean. I HLhad Polyhydramnios. I am at home with baby by myself all week long with very little time for exercise outside of going for walks, and my baby is a huge handful. I am exhausted, hormonal, and emotional. Because of stuff in my past I also have self image issues, and pre-baby I would starve myself and was underweight.
Well, this week has been super bad for my self image, because I went to try on a dress and it made me look 8 months pregnant. I did not buy it and left the store. Then within the last three days, I have been asked 4 times if I'm pregnant again...
When I said no, one of the individuals responsible decided to be "funny" and put her hand on my fat little belly, and said "I don't know, I'm pretty sure I feel something moving in there!" ... Yeah, that was my muscles moving in resistance to you treating my flabby disgusting flesh like public property! Later there was a discussion about how I'm not ready for another kid yet, and they went "Oh well my daughter just popped hers out one after another!" And another went "Yeah my sister and daughter both did too!" Followed by "Mine didn't waste time either."
Yeah well good for them. We're not even related. I live in a small crappy apartment with barely enough room for me, my husband, our daughter, and our two cats, I am still healing from extreme physical and emotional trauma, I do not have the emotional capacity to handle more than one kid under three at a time, I get way too sick when pregnant to deal with potty training, and my support network is starting to slow down in their desire to make any effort to help because our daughter is "getting older" and I need to "learn to deal with life" on my own and not need help with my little handful... So no! I am not flipping pregnant, I am not going to be your bloody brood mare and pop out baby after baby, and I am sick of feeling like I'm ugly and overweight, and I am done being touched without invitation! Humans suck.

Throwaway since I (21M) don’t want my family or anyone I know stumbling across this.
I honestly don’t know if I’m the asshole here.
So to start, when I was ten years old I was babysitting my little sister, we’ll call her Sarah, while my mom was out running errands. I was an idiot kid and got distracted by cartoons on the downstairs TV, leaving Sarah upstairs. I still feel so bad about it even though I know I was only ten at the time.
I’ll spare you the details, but Sarah ended up getting herself tangled up in a quilt and couldn’t free herself. She suffocated and her death has been on my mind every day since. My parents and I have both gone through a ton of therapy since it happened. They say they don’t blame me, and my therapist says I shouldn’t still be blaming myself, but I still think I do. I don’t know, in a way being hard on myself makes me feel better about it.
We still have the quilt. I didn’t know it at the time but it’s apparently been in our family for generations. My mom said she remembers her mother tucking her in at night with it. Both my parents couldn’t bear to bury my sister with it and I’m glad they didn’t. I hate the thought of Sarah being buried with the thing that smothered her.
Actually, the quilt is technically mine. I was the first kid my parents had so I guess I was the one to inherit it. It’s got a unique pattern of vines and pheasants sewn into it that used to make me really nostalgic, but I can’t bring myself to look at it anymore. It sits folded away in the hall closet of my parents house and I only ever glance at it from the corner of my eye if I ever have to grab a towel or a coat or something.
So here’s where I might be the asshole: for my 21st birthday I decided I was going to burn the quilt. My parents strongly objected but not only is the quilt technically mine, I feel it will give me a lot of closure. I thought that maybe if it were gone I could live my life without having to be so hard on myself all the time. It would be this little symbolic ritual just for me to sort of start my life over from the guilt that’s been weighing on me for over a decade.
A few days ago I paid my parents a visit and snuck the quilt out of the house while they were on the back porch. It felt so weird to actually touch it. I had forgotten how it smelled. I was instantly transported back to the bedroom Sarah and I used to share. I remember her crib disassembled and the pieces propped up against the wall by the door. I realized Mom might’ve been out shopping for a big girl bed for her the night she died.
The thought made me tear up, but luckily my parents weren’t around to see. I quickly stuffed the quilt into my backpack and left for my place.
I’m in college right now and share a house with three other guys. Two of them were visiting their families for Christmas but one, we’ll call him “Ben” stayed in town for the holidays since his family lives fairly close by like mine does. One thing you need to know about Ben is that he’s a prankster. All of us sort of are, but Ben is particularly good at it.
Anyway, that night I left my backpack on the floor by the door. I planned to burn the quilt in the early morning and set my alarm for 4am. I figured there was a lesser chance of anyone complaining about the smoke that way. Plus, I wanted to be alone when it went up in flames.
My alarm went off at 4am the next morning. I fumbled around my room a bit for my lighter that’s usually reserved for the house bong. Once I found it on the floor under my desk I swung open my bedroom door and nearly shat myself.
Ben was sitting on the couch facing me with the quilt draped over himself like a cartoon ghost. His lanky form wrapped in musty vines and birds. He nearly gave me a heart attack.
I was surprised that he didn’t start laughing when I yelled “FUCK” and jumped back, but if he wasn’t laughing yet that probably meant that there was more to the prank and we hadn’t reached the final punchline yet.
I was done, though. I wasn’t in the mood for pranks. I called him a piece of shit for going through my backpack. Maybe I’m an asshole for that too.
But Ben didn’t respond. He sat still for a few seconds while I glared at him. I thought maybe I had really hurt his feeling and started to apologize when he slowly lifted himself from the couch and starting walking toward the front door.
I turned the corner to follow him and saw that he had walked out the door and was moving swiftly over the front lawn toward the street. I sprinted out after him and yelled at him to give the quilt back.
Ben started gaining speed so that I could barely keep up. We looked like idiots playing an angry game of tag in the dark street at four in the morning but that was probably all part of Ben’s plan. He probably had someone close by filming the whole thing for TikTok.
I had no idea how he was outrunning me. He was wearing the oldest looking pair of leather shoes I’d ever seen, and I had no idea how he could even see where he was going.
Maybe I’m just monstrously out of shape. In any case, he was absolutely booking it down the dark freezing street, popping in and out of the beams of the street lamps.
I couldn’t keep running after him. The cold night air was tearing my lungs to shreds. I yelled one last “Fuck OFF, dude!” into the night before doubling over to catch my breath. After a minute or two I turned around and pathetically started walking back to the house. I could hear the wet slaps of those gross looking shoes on the pavement getting farther away.
I assumed Ben would turn up at the house shortly after I got back but he didn’t. I waited around for a few hours, checking social media periodically, but he hadn’t messaged me or posted any videos of me flailing after him in the dark.
Just then, I noticed that it was STILL dark. We always kept the curtains drawn but usually you could tell when the sun was up. I got up from the couch and pulled the curtains aside and saw nothing but black. I couldn’t even see the light from the street lamps. I closed the curtains again and flicked the light switch on to make sure the power hadn’t gone out. The harsh light from the one ceiling light that we never used flooded the room. For some reason it was only the street lamps that weren’t getting power.
Curious, I opened the front door and stepped into the freezing night air and immediately walked right into something soft.
I hastily turned on the porch light. I had walked right into the quilt. It had been draped over the low covering of the porch for me to stumble into. I gave it a tug to try and pul it down. I figured Ben had nailed it to the roof and it would probably tear, but that didn’t matter since it was going to burn anyway. After dealing with Ben’s dumb pranks all night I would enjoy seeing it go up in flames just a bit more.
It wouldn’t budge. I pulled as hard as I could and put all my weight into trying to tear it down but whatever was holding it to the roof wasn’t giving way. As I was clinging to it I realized that it seemed a lot bigger than I’d remembered. It actually draped around the whole front porch.
I was going to have to go under it. I lifted the heavy fabric above my head and walked carefully down the front steps.
And, I don’t understand this part at all, but there was just more quilt. I kept walking and the quilt kept going. I made it to the middle of our lawn, almost tripping over a tree root as I got farther away from the light of the front porch, still holding my hands above me supporting the wet musty fabric. It was as if someone had made a thousand ancient family quilts and sewed them all together, only to then drape the across the entire front yard of the house.
I turned back to the house. I could see the porch light still on but it was a faint glow bouncing off a sea of concave fabric. It was getting hard to breathe, probably because I was breathing a lot faster now. I made my way back to the porch light, walking my hands along the fabric above me as I went and trying not to break into a run. Running felt like the first step to panicking.
I got to the house and slammed the front door shut behind me. I drew back the curtains again, this time flicking on the living room light before I did. Pressed against the window was a maze of ruddy vines and ornate birds stitched into a sea of musty yellowing fabric. The birds stared at me with black beady eyes through my own terrified reflection.
I tore through the house. I ripped back the curtains on every window. Same thing. No view of the street outside or the trees in the backyard, just flat lifeless birds trapped in a tangle of vines.
I have a vague memory of being a kid and watching a movie where a house had to be fumigated for pests. The house had been draped in striped fabric like a circus tent. I had never seen that happen in real life and would occasionally wonder if it was a real thing. Anyway, I figured that was what my house must look like from the outside.
I was freaking out at this point. I checked all the windows and doors several more times and left all the curtains open so that I could prove to myself that this was really happening. That somehow the quilt that had strangled Sarah when we were kids had spread out like a giant amoeba and enveloped the shitty house with me inside.
The quilt’s edge had to be somewhere. The house had a large front yard but beyond it was a road.
I grabbed a bread knife from the kitchen and headed back out the front door. Leaving the porch light on I tucked the knife into my belt and started out again, walking my hands along the wet fabric as I went. I passed the tree root I had tripped over on my first excursion. I could only faintly see it as the porch light was growing farther away behind me. Soon it was swallowed up by quilt as I got closer to where I knew the road would be.
The quilt got heavier as I walked. It was soaked and I wondered if maybe it had been snowing. Where was the road? I really felt like I should’ve reached the curb by now.
I dug into my pocket for my phone. Still no messages from either my parents or the other residents of the house. I turned on the phone’s flashlight and then tucked it under my chin so that I could at least see where I was going. The quilt’s vines crisscrossed above me like a net.
The quilt soon got so heavy that I had to crawl on my hands and knees. I decided that I would go just a bit farther before I decided to say “fuck it” and just cut myself out. I held the phone with my left hand and inched myself along the ground with my right as the wet fabric slid across my back.
And then I felt it. Something was tugging at the quilt from all sides. It felt like the quilt was a fitted sheet that someone was trying to stretch over a mattress and I was trapped underneath. It was pressing me into the icy ground. Somehow I managed to flip myself over. I fumbled at my belt for the knife.
When I was a kid, before Sarah died, a commercial for Space Bags would play in between the cartoons we would watch on Saturday mornings. After we lost Sarah I became terrified of that commercial. My imagination turned against me and I would wonder what it would happen if you put a human in one before sucking out the air. The idea would sometimes strike me unexpectedly, and I would see visions of skin and muscle collapsing as quickly and effortlessly as a stack of soft bath towels. My dad would come into my room and comfort me, thinking I had a nightmare. I could never find the words to tell him that I hadn’t been asleep, just lying awake. Thinking.
Those visions snapped back into my mind as I felt the quilt begin to press me into the icy ground. I wrenched the knife free from my belt and flipped over onto my back.
I stabbed wildly above my face. It wasn’t easy. The quilt was so much thicker than I remembered and was rapidly closing in, but by stabbing and slashing downward I finally felt the knife break through to the other side and quickly shoved my head through the small opening.
I took a few huge gasps of fresh air before setting to work freeing the rest of my body. I stuck the blade toward the sky and sawed downward toward my feet until I had made a hole big enough that I could just squirm out of.
I sat panting with my knees to my chest. When I finally stood up I was shaky and tripped over something big and bulky. My hands flew out in front of me and found a smooth hard surface.
It felt like I had stumbled into a wall. Feeling around further, I found a light switch and turned it on.
I was back in the house. Back in the living room. In the middle of the room, in front of the couch was a huge gash in the carpet.
I had come up through the floor.
And I did so again. And again. Violent gashes in the floor now snake across the living room carpet. A few run across the ugly linoleum of the kitchen. A few even run up the walls. It’s getting so hard to breathe, and I don’t remember what air tastes like without the spice of mold and rot. The house lost power a few hours ago, and I can’t stop thinking about Sarah, and nets and trapped birds and Space Bags and how this knife is getting so dull and how I’m getting so cold.
So Reddit, I need your help.
AITA?

I am tired of dealing with these arguments. Now for the sake of discussion i'm making this thread to show case the common arguments... and the problems. Before the Men of Iron ever were a problem, the Men (and Women) of straw waged war against reason and if we are to actually GET anywhere we need to put these things away.
However i often find these are always prefaced with or with the message of "You shouldn't care at all, like i do." and i disagree vehemently. Lore and stories are why a lot of people play this game or pick factions and even take up the courage... Apparnetly it was and is silly (which is fine i can see an argument) and BECAUSE of that, you should shut up and be like them; apathetic. You shouldn't be. It's like the worst of Nurgle and Tzeentch: Change for it's own sake and a shrug as a reaction.
My thesis is that GW usually does what i call "retclarifications" that is to say that most retcons are given some form of explanation, this is so you can still justify your army that was built with pervious information or at least why factions or equipment was missing. I will be using this to explain certain infamous and repeated arguments. Your Milage my vary and I think the discussion of retcons and how well they are implemented is worth discussing. While the Female Custodes argument is the cause, I will make my position clear: It is not the retcon, it is the implimentation, which I think was poorly done because it was not retclarified in any way and shows a lack of confidence in GW for the change. This may affect your opinion of me, and that's fine; i simply just wanted to say why i hear this arguments.
I will (because for reason the a few older hobbiest seem to take issue) i started in highschool around... 2016? Reading Ciaphas Cain's omnibus are reading lore from tv tropes and watching videos on the lore. I bought my first miniatures a year later. That doesn't make you or anyone else less of a warhammer fan. I will also (because again; people take issue) models if you want; i collect AoS, 40k, and a few models for old world.

Rouge Trader

Now, this one is interesting: typically used by Hobby Veterans or people who know how to use google to look up some obscure fact that actually Squids are nids or were... but usually will say something about Human-Eldar Hybrids or some obscure, half-forgotten lore. If you're lucky it might actually be relevant with the current setting!
Now whenever someone says this, it's important to remember: RT is a very different setting then current 40k and should be treated as such. Much like how early WHF is a different beast then the modern WHF. Indeed, there are retcons... but of course it's what made it canon. So tell them this; It's a different setting.
Space Marines are no space cops now, nor are half-eldar possible. 40k solidifies itself a bit later on, but it's a change to be celebrated because the change did something and create the game and lore we all know and love (well I do, juries still out on a lot of these types...) which brings us to our next topic

The T'au

So people at times bring up the T'au as a retcon. This... is technically true. (the best kind of true) but at the same time the setting at this point is established; and it's a galaxy. the Galaxy is a big place. One of the advantages of the 40k setting (and Age of Sigmar's in comparison to it's predecessor) is that it's a Big place, a massive place even. the setting's scale means that if you want to introduce a young race like the t'au... you can. it's remarkably easy and when introduced the T'au (or Tau at the time) are given the warp storm to cover for their rapid development.
Now , they weren't very popular but that was because of aesthics and how goody two-shoes they are, but if a retcon they don't really change anything, being newcomers to an established galaxy both in-lore and out, and of course, the T'au would later fix the problems they had with retclarifications: not only gaining darker aspects (or perhaps highlighting the darker implications of their lore.) but also cementing themselves as clear foils to Humanity and the Imperium of man.

The Necrons

Ah yes these guys are the most commonly said to have been 'retconed' and... honestly I don't see it.
Now don't get me wrong; the "Chaos Android" were RT of course and these new terminator-inspired slaves to being who devoured the stars themselves seem very different from the enslavers of gods and masters of the Materium...
but are they really? See this is where the power of "retclarification" happens; It's still both. The 'retcon' kept the fact the necrons WERE soulless monsters enslaved to beings that might as well be hateful gods. It's just... well, their shards now. Oddly that seems to match with the power they always had on the table top...
The point i'm trying to make is that this is a great example because you still have the enslaved hosts, but you also have another direction to take. Early encounters with the Crons are still canon; unable to communicate, awoken in broken sleep, their souls gone, consumed, damaged... reverted to basic protocols. The ones who woke up later, like the majority of necrons? didn't suffer from it (if they're high up of course; the lowly peasent warrior is still mindless... hopefully) with only a few actually being awake previously. The Shards are also still powerful... see the Infinite and Divine for more information.
But basically it's probably the worst example to use; because not only was the implementation almost perfect in my opinion but it does it so seamlessly It's wonderful for everyone; you get both if you really want to, nothing in your way. The only real retcon is in the case of Pariahs, but even then, there's ways of interpreting them different.

The Leagues of Votaan

The latest to join and it saddens me because i was an early adopter; i have the infamous broken first codex.
Now this one is a bit harder to understand but to be blunt: The Imperium did think the squats were dead... because they, in their own ignorance thought the only league to ally with them was the ONLY league, period. with their destruction the Imperium thought them extinct, only for them to now come from the core because of a tensey tiny problem called the GREAT RIFT. They were also the Demiurg in the t'au and gave them Ion technology.
Now it is a bit more handwavey because history, but I think it works, and does a great bit of retclarification for all the factions involved. the Votaan are a great faction btw; we're more then deeprock galatic memes ya know but i feel people thought the squats being back were all they were.
The future is dark, and full of terror, but the Leagues emerged from the Core, a dangerous and dark place and know that luck has, need keeps and toil earns. It leads to more stories, more conflicts, more war.

But New Tank

The most common one, usually the Rogal Dorn lately, but let me ask you this: Would it be impossible for one to exist?
Technically no. it's also got built in justifications anyways; they found the STC comes to mind, or they're very rare and so are only sparingly used until recent discoveries, that sort of thing. In most cases a new unit or vehicle was always there... but of course, it would be weird if they WEREN'T just not playable.
Let's take the example of the Valkyrie: why wouldn't the impeirum have air-fighters? You'd think that would come up... like I doubt we're going to see boats, or cargo trucks on the table top... (... oh) but that doesn't mean they didn't exist and wouldn't actually make sense in the background of the universe. I feel like that it's easier with weapons or equpiment, particularly when they're already 'estbablished' and not world changing. Black-hole swords? Probably smart to find a way to justify it... a special power sword? Eaiser to introduce.
and so i find this one to be the most desperate of the 'examples' and around the time where we need to have a serious discussion on the topic of retroactive continuity; while it is probably the best examples of it purely, it's a tool.
A tool that can be used well and poorly... and... well let's take a look at the primaris.

The Primaris

This one is just funny to me given I remember quite clearly (and can still see) the fact a lot of people still have problems with the primaris and Crawl. If someone brings it up i can only assume they have hit their head and you should remind them of how controversial it is (and possibly get them an icepack if available)
Now they actually used the opportunity of the HH to introduce Crawl after the Primaris in 40k, but the fact is it's... a bumpy road to today where they are 'tolerated'... this one retcon needed more to lay the groundwork, needed more to justify and even now the difference between the first born and primaris is practically academic model wise and rules wise with the more units crossing the Rubicon the less it matters.
Basicly it needed work, hard work, more models more customization options and the like to get them accepted... out of universe, and in-universe many agreed with the fans (oddly but hey, it make sense because the primaris were impossible for the same reasons) and it took time for them to be accepted by the first born. It was retclarification upon retclarification and took a lot of stories to get here... which is why it's time to talk about what started this mess in our hobby...

Custodes (Men of Gold, Arguments of Straw)

So...
I can see a justification for Female Custodes.
But let's first talk about the boring stuff: It makes sense they would stop mourning over time (and of course it... would make them meeting the Daughters of the Emperor insanely funny) and the Great Rift is... a good excuse to get your ass out there not to mention the fall of Cadia... and to be honest i blame TTS for the stripper custodes sterotype that is older then you are.
BUT, back to female Custodes; it wasn't estbalished as impossible, just implied. There's nothing like it is for Space Marines where it's been clear only male canditates can have it work... just that only men were chosen.
The real problem I have, and many people i have spoken too is the stupid twitter post: Every joke post is rarely about the concept... it's about how it's just "Yeah they were there totally... like the daemonette Custodes or the Ork Custodes" When there's a story here
and don't give me the 'just be patient it will come eventually" because sure of course it will. Just like the Exodites. We could have gotten a head option; GW love showing this kinda stuff off, but they didn't...
so i'll be blunt: I don't think they had any confidence in it, because of this i suspect they were hoping no one would bring it up... and then, it leaked, and then the Twitter guy tried his best... it's clear to me they could have done it now and ripped the bandaid off...
and female custodes deserve better; have it be a story; they must have taken heavy losses, demanding more of the nobility who are starting to chafe at the supposed honor. Perhaps the Emperor had the female Custodes in a different role... do something with the idea, give a story but... it's a bit late for that.
Which is the worst type of retcon; even a retcon usually has SOMETHING in return but all this one has is opportunity to give GW more money... to buy heads. not anything else; they won't even give you an official one. that's how confident THEY were in the retcon, even ignoring people who are angry at them they either were too afraid to do anything beyond text, or that uncaring.
It's fine to have female Custodes, the execution of them means i'm going for the "Tzeentch" angle until it gets a proper GW retcon; with a story, a narrative... more of a hook. Because I know the HH, I own Watchers of the Throne... and they deserved more then to be treated as an afterthought, to not even weren't a refernce.
And i think it's over. Feel free to argue in the comments.
​

Note: I am very tired all the time being recently home from hospital, I will get to all questions, it just might not be right away!
This sub was so helpful to me leading up to surgery as I looked for how others experienced their own surgical journey. I want to give back and share as much as possible.
I was diagnosed with MVP 8 years ago, right around the age of 30 or so. It has definitely been there all my life as we knew I had a heart murmur, but it didn’t really rear its ahead until recently. I started becoming ever so slightly symptomatic and had noticeable PVCs, skipped beats, and palpitations. This was managed with a beta blocker. Looking back, I’ve never been much for cardio even tho I am slim and mostly in shape, I could just never break thru and really be a runner, the MVP is likely why.
My cardiologist diagnosed it as mild to moderate at the time. A few years ago, my echo showed I had moderate regurge. I was getting an echo every six months. I was told to always be on the lookout for flu like symptoms or shortness of breath, and to let them know if I experienced those symptoms. They had said it’s likely I would need surgery at some point, but my case was moderate and they wouldn’t advocate for surgery even if I was 60+ and stayed same as I was then. They also stated things could change quickly. I was told way back then that repair would be the ideal scenario, that it would provide a more durable long term outcome, I wouldn’t have to be on blood thinners or have the valve replaced again in 12-15 years. Because I was young, they really wanted to repair it. I was told that, ideally, we would wait some time as the repair procedures were becoming better and better with time and that you want someone to build you a house that has built hundreds of houses, not 3.
Back earlier this year I started noticing a touch of fatigue, brushed it off to not getting enough sleep and having a small child. I also noticed not necessarily shortness of breath, but that while laying down at night for bed I had to more intentionally draw in air. My palpitations grew more intense. My Kardia was showing possible aFib, but I was not in aFib. Either way, at this point, I was ready to see my doc. Fortunately, I had my 6 month echo already scheduled for the following week. Funny enough, I still hadn’t put together it was my valve, maybe it was denial on my part. So after the echo when the cardiologist and her fellow came and told me I had a detached chordae and regrurge had become severe, I was quite surprised. My cardiologist said I would likely need surgery in the near future, but she wasn’t greatly concerned it be an asap thing.
Either way, I scheduled consult with Chief of Cardiac Surgery at same hospital, Dr. Gabriel Aldea. I can’t say enough this man, go look up his bio. 20,000 heart surgeries and 5,000 valve surgeries. He stated that in the latter part of his career, he has focused on valve repair. I am so thankful I had access to him as my surgeon, and UW Medical Center Heart Institute in general. Can’t say enough about the care I received.
So, after my wife and I met with the doctor and he walked me thru what he would do, I decided to schedule surgery. He had a 6-8 week wait list. He said he wouldn’t wait any later May, but didn’t feel it was an asap thing. Due to some logistics, personal considerations, my own calendar, etc., we scheduled for mid April. My original date was the 18th but I was pushed to 19th to accommodate a high priority heart transplant.
I am glad we didn’t wait any longer, because by the time surgery rolled around, I was pretty winded even taking the trash cans to curb, very tired all the time.
My pre-op arrival time was 5:15am. They said I’d be wheeled to OR around 7:30am and total surgery time of 3-4 hours. Turns out it was only 2 hours because this surgeon is so on point. The valve was in worse shape than we thought, as there were two detached chordae that needed to be replaced. Both leaflets were flappy and lose and needed to be trimmed, there was fissuring of the cartilage that needed to be sewed up, and he placed a ring around base of valve to keep it taught. My post-surgery echo showed only trace leakage, so I went from severe to trace. Doc said he couldn’t be happier with the results. He had said in pre-surgical meeting that he was about 90 to 95% sure he could repair it how he wanted, and he sure did.
Regarding open-heart rather than minimally invasive… He advocated for open-heart from the start, as he wanted to see the valve in front of him and use his own hands to repair it and make sure nothing was missed. He was confident I would recover well from the incision as I am relatively young. You’re also on bypass machine longer with minimally invasive, and they’re pushing thru muscle that they otherwise wouldn’t be when cutting the sternum that has very few nerves. That all sounded fine to me.
I did go into aFib day after surgery for a chunk of the day, which isn’t unexpected. Either than that, I have been in normal rhythm with zero palpitations and skipped beats or PVCs, it’s really an amazing feeling. When I listened to my own heart before surgery, you could hear the whooshing of the regurge loud and clear, you can’t hear it at all now.
I was in the ICU three days, hospital for 5. They said it would probably be 6 or 7 days, but I am young and healthy and did well. Plus my parents are retired medical professionals and would be with me listening to my heart and lungs once I got home so I think that helped.
Again, first few days were rough, but day 4 it was incredible how much better I felt. They got me out of bed sitting in a chair on day two, one short walk of maybe 70’. Day three I took two longer walks down the hall, both with a nurse on either side of me and walking with an assistance walker on wheels. I am walking almost a half mile now, albeit very slow. They said if you have the energy, go walk two miles as long as you’re not pushing yourself. Again, this will vary in terms of age and health.
Things I found helpful after hospital: - Wedge pillow - Shower chair - Oversized t shirts at least two sizes larger than normal to easily get on and off. - Heating pad to lay back on. When they open your chest and spread you apart, your ribs push back into your back and you’re pretty sore.
Don’t push it when you get home. Continue to rest. Be careful standing up, you’ll likely get lightheaded easily. Make sure you have lots of help at first.
I weighed the most I’ve ever weighed in my life after surgery, I was holding maybe 20 pounds of water weight, though I am back to pre-surgical weight after taking the drugs that make you pee what felt like non-stop (which was unpleasant and annoying, but necessary).
They advocated for high protein diet, much higher than daily recommended value. They suggested protein shakes or protein powder to get that extra boost as the heart muscle heals. They recommended fiber gummies to make sure am getting enough fiber. Generally I eat healthy so not worried about that. They said fish and chicken and meats, nuts and beans, lots of green vegetables, etc. To eat a healthy balanced diet, makes sense.
I am tired still, but better every day. USE YOUR SPIROMETER, a lot! My pain 8 days out is mostly handled by Tylenol and muscle relaxers - which they said don’t shy away from, you need your muscles to relax and that will take awhile. I was told at 4-6 weeks my incision may feel 60-70% better, 80-85% at 8 weeks, and by 12 weeks, should be feeling pretty back to normal. They did say I may experience some pain and discomfort here and there for up to 6-8 months. I will start cardiac rehab at 6 weeks, for now they said get out for a couple short walks every day and increase your distance as works for you. There are plenty of restrictions on movement, but I’ll leave that to your care team to go over.
I’m trying to think of anything else that would be helpful, but please don’t hesitate to ask away. I didn’t go into detail here on first few days after surgery in terms of pain and comfort level, as I don’t want to freak anyone out. It’s hard, but you get thru it quick!
Cheers!

I've seen this nasty little cockroach pushing its way out of the egg to join all the other cockroaches whose existence requires their host organisms' longevity. You all know I'm long and wordy, no foul if you pass on. But for my US friends this does actually upset me - apart from anything else, most of the world just want to do their thing but narratives like this from the 1%ers who are completely insulated from the realities of normal life are often how we get dragged into conflict.
Astonishing as it may seem to the Clunkers, the US and UK have been doing the do long before they came along and tAUghT uS hOW TO ConNecT, and we've all experienced some form of cultural clash because that's life. From next door's execrable musical taste to the annoying local kids to international companies with a million competing personal drives, we're experiencing it all the time. That's what "getting on with each other" means, it's not rocket surgery.
And I worked for a US corp. starting up their Euro leg here. All my colleagues came from the US office then we gradually employed so were in the intense phase where its all over the gaff, there are no systems in place and you just have to build up and iron out the wrinkles. Long days, hard work, no fixed roles...everything that everyone deals with on the reg in some form. And just as a peculiarity of my position, I'd be ringing the CEO at 2am his time or the FD would ring me round the clock at month end. It was a pressure-cooker that was a wonderful experience - it'd kill me now, but we've all walked that path too. I absolutely refuse to believe it was sooooooooo much oooo it were AWful for two people with the lightest workload powered by plebs like us. Quite literally, all they had to do was turn up. Servants, assistants, nannies, the poor sod who had to find and clean all the dummies (pacifiers) they spat out, absolutely everything was done for these two precious beings. Someone probably prizes open Dimwit's eyes, props him upright and removes the bong from his clutches. Tbh, someone probably reminds the thick twonk to breathe 🙄
And I HATE this narrative because it's a) not true and b) a complete accountability-opt-out, a fully prepared pre-whine for Clotface and rather a lot of punching-bags for Megdusa. ALL cultures can be dreadful - see: British tourists abroad 🙄 - but most people aren't. Those differences can be a conversational starter, a point of interest, they became funny memes for us but never once did I feel traumatised by these huge American bullies, not even the Big Boss at aaaargh o'clock. I don't recall feeling anything negative toward my American colleagues, they were great people I really enjoyed getting to know and I loved how straightforward they were in communications. Not ever rude or anywhere near it, just a clean chain of command with no faffing.
Yet the "dominant American" archetype (😈) is being resurrected with no context to it and it's so unbelievably wrong and unfair not only to Americans but to us. Are we so delicate that we require pretty-please-with-extra-sprinkles for every interaction? Are we like Victorian ladies who faint at the very *idea* of.....ew....Talking to Foreigners. I've said before I don't understand Muggin's astounding rudeness and lack of the most basic manners, because that's usually the grease that spins the wheels; Americans can charm the socks off you and this, in my experience as it widened, is their secret power-up. Of course there will be bullying or menacing individuals coffOursaintcoff but it's not the norm. *Nothing* about Mugsie is the norm, from her laziness to her rudeness to her astonishing hubris but somehow MSM has got on this train and it's all going to be tidied away as cultural clashes? How the hell have the rest of us managed to negotiate this perilous arrangement....is it even safe to talk to anyone from America without a bear suit? Some nob y'day (I think he used to work for that old fraud Fayed, which says a lot) was exclaiming that we're taken aback because you say "can I get..?" instead of "may I have...?" so all a big misunderstanding and help me sinners cos I just blew a gasket. To use an expression taken from Clotface himself "it's so unfair!!!!!" But it IS unfair. It's a ridiculous notion that, in this modern intermixed world, we can't get round these tiniest of irrelevancies and need to have a lie-down followed by a six-week holiday every time they had to interact with us disgusting proles. Can you *believe* she didn't even get paid for it (freehousefreeclothesfreecarsfreekidsfreejewelsfreelife) Um....we know it's a big ask but if you could possibly go to this kiddies film, pimp wifey out to Disney and slobber over Beyonce? It's an imposition of staggering proportions but the world neeeeeeeeds you...
Ever since Tsar Megda dropped on the UK all she's done is create division. We bin knew. But now we're stuffed because they protected us from the Big Bad World and now I might have to speak to people from other countries without their firm guidance? O noes, our saviours left and....fast inhale....I mean, I'm writing this and ANYONE could be seeing it from any country, any culture, any age. It's just a *terrifying* thought ooooo I could never. If you are reading this whilst being Not English, kindly stop until you have passed all vetting procedures, bought a bowler hat and know how to make a proper cup of tea.
We have an entire Commonwealth. We have multi-national companies with huge workforces at every level. We spent five years being bombed flat by the Axis powers then finished off the job with terrible town planning. We've been here awhile and we've taken in gigantic influxes over our history, whether the ravage-and-pillage version of old or the mutual alliances of today. We can cope. And you're not bullies. Or rude, ungracious, ill-kempt and boorish. You just sent us a duff one but you sure got a factory-(twenty)-second back so it's a draw. Its absolutely ludicrous for these two useless muppets to blame two entire countries for the fact they're useless muppets. Maybe it's me, but I find this line utterly contemptible and more division is the last thing this world needs. But we don't get to produce a complete Fail then squeeeeeeee it's all about MuRiCAn CulChuR when he's stupid enough to find another and embark on a concerted mission to go up the universe's backside. It's just so pathetic. Embarrassingly so.
Must admit tho, the all night thing gets a bit tedious. So I went to work for an Oz company. Spot the fatal flaw in that plan...
(And here's a hug 🤗 for all vile Americans. We'll drag you to civilisation eventually...)

I don't think this place is for actual opinions about the show but I don't have anywhere else to talk about this so here's a quick rant
So I started watching Curb this year for the first time cause I love Seinfeld. As I'm watching and just kinda browse online to see what people have to say about it and I saw an article about Palestine Chicken. They said it was "a really special episode". So I went to the subreddit and I saw that it got a lot of praise. Now that I've watched however, shit fucking sucks. Maybe I just had too high expectations but like the way they try to tackle it is just so...tacky. I feel like this is hindsight is 20/20 moment fs but the revisionist history that's going on because of current events needs to stop. It's probably one of the least funny episodes I've seen so far especially in Season 8, it boils down the conflict to the point it becomes a caricature of both Jews and Palestinians, and just has an unsatisfying conclusion. I don't want people to think I'm too "woke" or "pc" for the show. Because at the point where I'm at in the show a white person has dropped an N bomb like 3 4 times (most of the time it's Larry) and I'm still watching cause I still find it funny even tho I'm black. It's just that this specific type of racism isn't really funny to me. As we know there are many Jews that are willing to cross the picket line for Palestinians and Palestinians don't inherently hate Jews. They hate Israel and the IDF. So it's just so tacky in hindsight and makes all Larry's Jewish friends and some how Funkhouser (which I will say his sudden and hardcore switch to Judaism was funny) look like actual bigots in a none funny way I'll give this to the show tho, Shara is funny. Her tempting Larry but offering a threesome is funny in retrospect, but in the moment it was weird because we established that they both just fetishize each other. That whole last scene was super unsatisfying and unfunny. I think the fucking Moon Unit episode is a better rep for Muslims, and that lady isn't even Muslim. This is too long so Imma cut it off here but I can't be the only one that feels this way right? It's the most over hyped episode of television I have ever seen.
Edit: keep talking the way you talkin y'all don't know who playin with. I WANT ALL THE SMOKE (but like really tho I wanted a chill discussion about this but if y'all keep running your mouths imma jump in that ass)

I think that DD2 features very fun party-based action adventure gameplay, but a lot of features and systems simply are not well thought out. Here’s some of my list of things I found lacking and how I’d improve them. I’m going to try to keep it short because there’s a lot to go through.

1. Combat and skill progression tends to lean towards being a power fantasy. This is fun until it gets repetitive, kind of like using cheat codes. Now I’m not asking for a souls-like, I just think that there should be universal defensive options (ie. Each vocation gets their own kind of block/dodge). Most enemies right now either chain stagger you to death or they attack too slowly to actually threaten you.
   
2. Skill progression sometimes does not make sense. For example, my favorite class to learn (not to play): Mystic Spearhand. The clear idea behind this class is to be able to nonstop attack while mixing in defensive skills to keep up the assault. However, you do not get a defensive skill until level 3. Your default skill, your time-slow bolt, is not actually a defensive ability, it’s an offensive ability.
   
3. Some skills allow you to be stronger at the cost of interacting with the game less, making the game less fun. Thief’s Maister skill (auto dodge) is one example, and Spearhand’s shield (permanent invincibility) is another. I can tell you right now that even if enemies one shot you, it wouldn’t matter so long as these skills exist in their current state. I suppose the player solution is simply “don’t use the skill,” but that kinda ruins the sense of progression via exploration, doesn’t it?
   
4. Uncapped leveling hurts not just the combat, but the pawn system. At high levels your equipment really does not change how easy the game is by much. It also makes the social aspect of the pawn system worse by limiting the pawns you see to recruit by default, and by making it not really justifiable for low level players to recruit high level pawns.
   
5. Stat-based progression in equipment hurts the pawn system, since it incentives people using good weapons/armor on their pawns, leading to most pawns looking the same. I don’t mind some level of stat progression, but I think there should be far more sidegrades as opposed to straight upgrades. More weapons and armors would help.
   
6. SorcereMage sucks to play, not because of their effects, but because casting feels awful. Casting spells is quite frankly like watching paint dry, except you do get a cool result in the end. Quickcast should be available level 1 and should feature a minigame instead of “you get to wait less.” At the very least, Mage is concerned about keeping the party alive, but this uninteractiveness hurts Sorcerer a lot more because they are more selfish.
   
7. The idea to beating certain enemies (ie. Slime) being “you either have the right skill or you don’t” punishes the player by taking fun away: the player literally stands there doing nothing and they pray that their party does something. I think that if a player does not have the right skill, they should be forced to interact with more skill checks, making the combat more dangerous but still doable, as opposed to “well you can’t do anything except watch.”
   
8. Escort quests are awful since NPCs do not run as quickly as your party for some reason, and if the idea of escort is “oh you have to walk slowly to make sure your target isn’t getting hurt!” then that’s frankly uninteractive gameplay and is completely unfun. It also forces you to not explore much if you want to succeed, which hurts the sense of the open world.
   
9. I don’t mind if the story is mid, but plot points are often not explained and important characters fall off the face of the planet as soon as you finish their quests relating to the Arisen. We are supposed to get invested in this political plot to expose the fake Sovran only for the game to say “well I don’t care about how invested you are, you will never hear what happens next, just go to Battahl.” Story that happens in the background for the rest of the game is not story, it’s just lore-in-action. Souls-like storytelling also just does not fit this game.
   

Now on a lighter note, I think that having a class you can fall asleep playing as while winning anyways is funny. I have played both Mystic Spearhand and Trickster half asleep with both eyes fully closed during entire fights. Although, while Spearhand is simply overpowered, Trickster’s gameplay consists of spamming AOE incense and checking to see if your clone is alive; like so, so many things in the game, Trickster would benefit from more interactivity.
This concludes my ramble. There’s more to say but basically, I think it’s unfair to compare the flaws in this game to stuff like Elden Ring, because the core gameplay of Elden Ring is still fully functional, well thought out, and importantly, it flows well. DD2 simply suffers from many non-negligible flaws impacting its core game design.

File Sequence: <Beginning> -First Contact[10]- -Conclusion- <Legends>
_______________________________
Secret Files: <CoS[1]> -Cos[2]-
Note: Figured it would be "lore-flexible'' to divide the "Tree" into 3 branches; Legends(WP/Side stories that might not be canon), Archives(Main safe route), and Secret Files(Major Spoilers). Also, no intro quotes this time, sorry, i decided to make them only for "serious" chapters.(Besides, i wrote like 20 already.) Also, Lazarus is not around due to internet issues, so, *tsk* im doing it all alone, again...
Oh yeah, I also must congratulate myself with my last chapter. Forget about not receiving any help requests, we managed to remain on 0 comments and -1(if i remove mine) upvotes. And more than 6k people saw the post. Unbelievable... Thats the record! Of lowest score ever possible. You can't repeat it on HFY subreddit, or probably ANY subreddit with at least 2000 followers for that matter. Even if you tried to do so on purpose... Should i drop the writing for real this time? I think im cursed...
...
...
...

Return Of Vanquished

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
/Connected.
/Mellator Matrix Mind.
/SubUnit: AVA-9252002
/Memory Transmission Subject: Woorrrl, emperor of Bloboid empire. Former Grand Admiral of First Blockade of Intergalactic Alliance. Current Chancellor of Intergalactic Senate.
/Time-space: 9 rotations from Black Battle.
/Location: On the way to Gh'urrl.
/Sequence Code: .- .-- ..- -- .- -- -.- --.. -- -... .-
/Transmission in 3...2...1...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We were quiet.
All of us.
Yes, just like that monsters, "Shaders"...
Entire fleet crew was traveling back home, without dropping a word to one another. Of course, as there was really nothing to talk about to begin with. We just blankly looked at our screens and panels, or even freezing our minds at times, looking into one spot.
Around 80 percent of our "first strike" and observation fleet was destroyed. Their remains, or "corpses", as our warrior race likes to name them, was drifting back there, way on the edge of the dead space quadrants. And we probably won't be able to retrieve any of them at all, like we tend to do with broken down or dismantled equipment...
Our remaining ships wasn't in their "blooming" stage either. Some had broken wings, not fully functioning FTL drives and gears, unstable shields that consumed more energy while trying to stabilize themselves and ultimately failing by simply popping due to unbalanced particle voltage, missing few components here and there, and also had empty pockets of hatches, where our "life-probe's" supposed to be stored. Well, thats due to the fact that some of them were deactivated in that skirmish or used to rescue our crew.
Now we were flying across the expanse of space, back to square one(both literally and figuratively), where it all started. Most of our dining and rest rooms were now overcrowded. Since the most of our Escorting Fleets were obliterated, their helmsmen and crew now was aboard the Mothership, cleaning the deck from all this mess or fixing and repairing systems. And oh holy pores, there was things to repair...
The "Scout Fist" alone had 90 percent of it's weapons broken down and melted. It's main turrets were burnt and smoked with fifty or so shades of gray, showing the complete combat incapacity. Mothership's main shield generator occasionally short-wired, making it look like a giant broken lightbulb, or billboard with electricity problems. Only thing that kept us alive is the hull itself, that, thankfully, was only scratched and "drawn" over with that constant laser beams. I really wonder how big of a repairment fees the Alliance will have to pay for all of this...
As for me? I just stood, (well, not really as these black snipers somehow managed to disable most of our gravitational panels as well so we been half walking-half hovering from now on) on the main deck, surrounded with my fellow generals as well as unused engineers on standby. We have to admit, going straight to the enemy was not the wisest idea, and it will cost us. A lot. I doubted that there could be a possible way to confront them. In fact, after seeing how these "Dark Warriors" fought, any direct assault would end up in their favor, leaving us at their mercy. I didn't know what are we going to do now. Just didn't...
The signal light on the panel blinked, indicating the incoming call. I tiredly waved my manipulator and one of the Ewwlian workers, that was not even supposed to be on this ship, nodded and patched it through.
After a longer than usual static, the main screen finally lit up, revealing the all known war hero, Mikik (despite his firm stance, it was a little awkward to loot at as two Tamlite spiders, one Crickzuk praying mantis, and one Shuulma octopus in their suits with "Q" symbol on their uniform tried to fix one of the gravity panels, blowtorching the floor behind his back).
"Greetings, Your Highness..." He tiredly hissed.
"Likewise, Fleetmaster." I replied.
"I'm rather glad to notify that most of our FTL drives have been stabilised and we can increase our speeds at 40 percent."
"Good" i sighed, rubbing my cuirasses below my metal suit "Reroute energy in main engines and increase the collider particles acceleration."
"Yes, Your Highness..." He nodded then turned to his(and not) crew " Activate FTL drives!" With echoes of "Aye aye sir!" and feet (or appendages for some) stamping, the crew trotted to the engines to activate them to their max. With buzzing of hundreds remaining engines, ships are now flew with their "normal" sub-light speeds, cutting the fabric of space even more than before.
We all just took our seats (or fixated the exoskeleton to the floor in my case). Mikik took a sip from his favorite drink and exhaled:
"Finally... I wonder, what we do now?"
"So do i..." i answered. "What i can say for sure however, is that R'ikitiks lost their status of "Strongest warriors in the galaxy", no offence [gentlemen]..."
"None taken." General lizards waved back and gritted their teeth, realizing the full weight of shame in that statement.
"True, true..." Fleetmaster Mikik sighed. "I can't even imagine that walk of shame when we will tell the senate that our 'Scout Fist' failed. Oh, and the panic of society, it's going to be a nightmare..."
"Yeah, but we can't help but tell them." I growled "Everyone must know how much of a danger these "Shaders" possess. We must unite like never before, if we want our people to be safe." I raised my manipulators in determination.
**********
Attention to all personnel. We will arrive in Lura Twins system in half a suuta. Get ready.
**********
Suddenly was announced from main intercom by the tech team.
"Oh well, here we go..." I replied.
When we finally entered the system, i entered the observatory room and opened the main telescope to see one of these twins. What i saw however shocked me to my cores. There wasn't two tropical worlds with all their sands and beach water that most of xenos so liked to swim in. What there was instead is two black spheres with red outlines. The oceans was not even visible. Entire landscape was complete darkness. The center of the planet looked like a red eye, rings of glowing lights surrounded the sides. It looked like that rings you see on the stump of the tree, or cırcles of streets in the center of megapolis. It looked like some eldrich abomination consumed and terraformed it...
Once i shakingly shifted my visors from it, i saw even more horrifying picture; Hundreds, no, thousands of darker than black ellipsoids with different sizes were rotating around it, constructing the rings with their bodies.
Suddenly, few dozen of them flew directly to "Scout Fist". They ignored any fire from the support fleets, their ability to dodge every shot made them look twice as menacing. When they reached the Mothership, they have formed the the ring on semi-perpendicular diagonal from its axes around it, spinning in that slow and scary manner. It did not took long enough as all of our systems roared with alarms from incoming laser rain. We were doomed. For sure this time.
Now the atmosphere depressure alarms joined the party as the giant hole was blown straight in the middle of the main deck, sucking in all of ship's crew members. I felt that my exoskeleton too, was losing its posture and slowly started to slide to that breach.
Oh no...
I quickly grabbed one of the panel slabs and tried my best to hold on it. Unfrotunately, the grounding plates that it was installed on, slowly started to come off of its pocket. Just a few more [seconds] and it will be all gone. One last loud metal gritting and i flew base forward in that breach along with that slab i was holding on, spinning like a propeller in the void of open space.
This. Cannot. BE!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
/[Dream] class memory sequence ended.
/Returning to original sequence.
/Transmission in 3...2...1...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I woke up cold like the side of a freezer. With nearly a roar i jumped from my socket, making a flip, and ended up upside down on the ceiling, clinging to the dim spotlight like a [tick].
"Are you okay?" I heard one of the General R'ikitiks asked as the rest of them looked at me from their rest bunks, woken from all the noise i made.
"I'm fine. It was just a nightmare, sorry..." i guiltily exhaled, looking at the dents on the metal i made with my manipulators. Then i jolted from abrupt and yet so familiar intercom announcment:
************
Attention to all personnel. We will arrive in Lura Twins system in half a suuta. Get ready.
************
"Okay, maybe not!" I exclaimed and quickly hovered(Yes, gravity panels was still an issue) from the cabin.
While i could not believe that this is possible, i still wanted to make sure it was just a stupid dream and not some sort of "forecast". I tried my best to move in this zero gravity and swimmed in the corridors like a [jellyfish] retracting my appendages on the walls and propulsing forward. When i managed to get to the main observation compartment, i rushed to the main telescope, pushing aside the navigation specialist before he even could say "Your Highness?!". When i looked trough it, for real this time, i saw that familiar sand-planet, with all it's glory of that cloud clusters, some craters and that famous river on the equator.
What a relief.
"S-sir?"
I looked at the source of meowling, and saw one of the most recognizable Ewwlians in my fleet, Captain Moor. He stood(as much as one could with gravi-panels working only with 20% output) among the navigation team members, with ears slightly folded on the back of his head. One would think that he supposed to be on one of that drone-carrier frigates, but guess what? Yes, it was abandoned and blew up in the dead space as well. In fact two thirds of Mothership itself was disconnected and left behind as it was broken down and became a dead weight on our engines and energy routes. We were only hanging on the remaining disc of one third of it's former glory, crowding it from the toilets to rest rooms.
"Im fine." i camly replied "Well, not completely but everything is better than it could be..."
The concerns slowly faded away from his muzzle and ears flip back up. Then he asked me once again, flicking his tail:
" E-excuse me sir, shouldn't we start to prepare for the landing?"
"Oh, oh right!" i snapped, remebering all of the duties i have to perform on this now one-wreck-of-a-ship. "Tell everyone to gather on main deck, we need to contact the Lyra-1."
He saluted me with firm tail swing and trotted back in the corridors.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
/Time-skip: {20 human minutes}
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was actually painfully long to properly enter the orbit of this planet. Thats due to the fact that our non-FTL thrusters was kinda in "shambles" as well. So here were are, nearly drifting to this choke-point. And, as all strategically important things, it was well defended. Why it's been pointed out? Thats because entire armada came to meet the remains of our expedition.
When these ships swarmed us, we got an immediate signal, hailing us. With my manipulator wave, it was patched through. On the screen was an wery familiar member of molluscoid species:
"What is the meaning of this?! The 'Scout Fist' wasn't supposed to return! Why more than the half of it is GONE?!" the octopus on the other side of the screen exclaimed. " Also my radars only scans like twenty destroyers, where are the remaining, like, five hundred of them?!"
"Calm down Bluufo..." i tiredly responded. " It's gonna be a wery, WERY, long story..."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
/Memory transmission ended.
/Sequence Code: .. --.. -- ..- .-- --.. -- .--. --.- .-.. .-.. -- ...-
/Disconnection...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.

F, 21. Hello, I’m not sure if anyone will read this, but I’m just very tired and I just want to vent somewhere/somehow.
I feel depressed and lonely, and I just wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.
Ever since I was child, around 8 yrs old, I have struggled with depression and anxiety, and now as an adult, it has caused a lot of damage academically, socially, physically etc etc. And I feel like I will never recover, especially because I keep self-sabotaging myself.
I feel like I’m dumb, ugly, and not worth being with, so just going out of my house is extremely difficult. And no matter what I do, it seems like I will never feel worth it. I feel like a monster, it’s awful.
I know “looks don’t matter”, but unfortunately, some of us are just ugly and that’s ok. But sadly, some people won’t think that way and will make fun of you, even if you’re trying your best to not bother anyone, staying in silence so no one will notice you.
After I graduated high school, I felt so relieved I finished, and I didn’t need to see my peers or had to get good grades again. I performed well academically, I had some of the best grades among my generation, and it was really draining, especially during the pandemic. The amount of workload was insane. So just graduating and finishing felt so good.
I made the mistake of not enrolling immediately to Uni, part of that is because I don’t have the opportunity to just focus on studying; I need to work to be able to pay for my education, but working full time and taking care of my parents is hard. I still feel burned out from high school too, so after I finish my job for the day, I just want to get home and sleep until the next day.
For some reason, I also feel like I won’t be able to perform academically as well as I used to, and I’m afraid of failing at Uni and wasting money, so I keep delaying going to Uni, and now I feel like it’s too late.
Also, I’m not good/or interested in anything, so I don’t know what I want to study. I just focused on being a good kid and getting good grades, but I never explored an interest or skill, so, on top of everything, I’m useless lol.
Whenever I think about researching about careers or Universities, I feel really anxious, dizzy, and I get some sort of doom feeling that I can only brush off if I go to bed, wrap myself with a blanket and sleep. Thinking about my future is the worst thing ever, for some reason.
So, so far, I have just focused on working and saving money.
I think is funny, but someone as socially anxious and timid as I am, got a job at a call center of all places (but is not that surprising, I have a technical degree in service centers). The first year was horrible, I used to cry every day, but I got used to it, and I never want to let anyone down, so I have good metrics and a really good relationship with customers.
Recently, I got a promotion, and it’s a very nice position, but I feel guilty, I feel like I don’t deserve it even if I got the position on merit, passed the filters and interviews.
I love my team, they a very nice group of people, but their kindness hurts me? I don’t know how to explain it, but having talented, pretty and kind people being nice to me makes me feel so bad. I don’t even know why, I guess I’m just awful.
So, I don’t study at Uni, just go to work, after working I just go to my house and sleep or if I can’t, I try to distract myself reading, but doing anything is hard. My body feels so heavy and it hurts.
I’m very lonely. I have two friends from high school, who check on me occasionally, and I love them, but they moved with their lives and are really happy with their new friends and finding success. I’m happy for them, I just wish I didn’t feel like a nuisance in their lives.
My parents are foreigners, so they, my siblings and I are the only family members living in my country, and I don’t have a good relationship with my siblings, so I’m afraid once my parents are not with me anymore, I will be alone for real.
They are the only reason why, although everything, I haven’t ended myself. They worked so hard to raise, and I feel live ending my own life would break them, I could never do anything like that to them. I also want to make sure they are well, can eat delicious food, wear nice clothes and have an overall happy life after they worked so hard for me and my siblings.
So, I’m just stuck living a life I don’t want, and every time I want to do something to improve it, I just get that doom feeling that makes me nauseous, makes me want to hide and sleep until it goes away.
I tried going to a phycologist and a psychiatrist, but it didn’t work even if I tried, so even if it sounds exaggerated, I feel beyond salvation mentally.
I’m currently in my dark room, feeling that stupid doom feeling and very tired, but I don’t have anyone to talk to, so I just thought about venting here.
I doubt anyone will read this bible I wrote, but if anyone did, sorry if I wasted your time. I just don’t have anyone irl to bother with my feelings. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I know other people have problems way worse than I do, but that’s one of the many problems of having metal issues.

For perspective, this story starts around October 2022 and ends around January 2023
October
When I was in year 11 I was pulled out of my English class along with 2 other students by a different English teacher , we'll call this teacher Lalo. Lalo told us that we were invited to an after school club he hosted called the creative writing club that took place every Wednesday after school.
I'm not much of a writer or anything but I decided to go one day to see what it was like, that and I think Lalo is a rlly cool guy.
So I walk in the room and I look across to the end of the room and I see a girl ( her codename was Lunnettes, my friends came up with it, we'll get to that later) in the year below me, I vaguely recognise her by face because our form rooms are opposite each other. We make eye contact and she instantly starts giggling with her friend. I was intruiged by this, but I didn't talk to them, I just sat and did the activities provided with someone I knew in my year.
I notice that Lunnetes and her friend, we'll call her Yoyo keep giggling and Lunnetes keeps looking at me. Despite all this, I still didn't say a word to her, nor did I catch her name, but she seemed lovely and funny.
This whole glancing and giggling thing continued when I showed again at the club, and it also started happening other places we passed by each other like at break, walking in the hallways etc
This all caused me to develop a lil crush on her, because she seemed lovely, funny and she was cute. Also the idea that she likely thought that I was cute was the main reason I liked her ( I know that that is a stupid reason to like someone, but I was stupid back then)
November
One day I accidentally found her on Instagram ( yes I know that sounds stupid but that's how it happened). I didn't follow the account, because at this point, we still haven't had a conversation, this was also how I found out her name. I also found out that she really liked a specific anime movie, so that gave me an idea, I decided to watch the movie, in hopes that when we do have a convo, and I could bring it up in that convo
At this point , I had told my 3 main friends about it, their code names will be Fox, Capybara and Cricket (ik they are stupid names I just thought of these on the spot), Capybara came up with the code name for her, " Lunnettes" , he decided upon that because she would wear glass's but never over eyes, only above her head which rlly annoyed him, we just decided to roll with it
Then one day I saw her walking by( keep in mind that because of the insta, i knew her name but she didn't know mine or the fact that I knew her name) then I went up to her and asked her if she was going to the writing club that week, and then asked her for her name (even tho i alr knew it), then gave her mine, this then gave me a valid reason to know her name yk
December
Fast forward to the last week of school before the Christmas holidays , one last writing club before Christmas break
I go to the writing Club, and I ask to work with her and her friends (Yoyo included), she said yes, and we actually got on really well. This was when I brought up the movie to her (as if I didn't just watch it to interest her)
Then the Christmas holidays had started and I decided to follow Lunnettes on insta, then at like midnight she follows me back and sends a friend request on snapchat ( my snap is in my insta bio) , I added her back on both
Then around 5 or so days into the holidays she sends a vid on snap to me, the problem is that I opened it in a go karting lobby, so I couldn't hear the vid very well. The vid was of her friends (Yoyo included) at a Christmas party all talking to the camera, the only words I heard were my own name, and the words "alpha male" , and since it was on snap, it wouldn't let me replay it , so I sent a snap back asking what that vid was about, and she responded later saying she didn't even remember sending anything, which was just odd
January
New years eve came round and I sent her a happy new year text, she sent one back with 3 heart emoticons
Holidays end and school starts again
This is where things start to go wrong, the glancing and smiling continued but less frequentthan before, but then I started to start talking to her on snap, and hope that I could get to tall to her at the writing club, I went to that club almost every week but she wasn't rlly showing up to it, and when I'd text her, her interest was lacking. But I was stupid, so I kept perusing.
Then one day she actually showed up to writing club, she didn't look as happy to see me as she did one month ago, I worked with her again, but there was no connection and she seemed disinterested, unlike the time we worked together just before the Christmas holidays. After the club was over, on my way out, I did one of the most regrettable and embarrassing things I've ever done, I asked her if she was free that weekend, she wasn't
Then the next day Capybara and Fox went up to her friend group but just stood next to them, in hopes that I and Cricket would follow them, I did, mistake number 3. And so there we are just stood like 7 metres away from them, and I'm really nervous whilst her friends and my friends are all laughing, then the bell rings and me and my friend walk away, but my other two friends stay there for a moment, as I'm walking away, I hear Yoyo and another one of her friends go over to Capybara and Fox who are still stood there and one of then says "ok, which one of you likes her". Me and Cricket are standing by the gate waiting for the other two to come back, we see them walking to us and they're absolutely dying of laughter, I can tell something bad has happened, my friends come back to me and my other friend and Capybara yells "SHES A LESBIAN!"
My world was completely flipped upside down, I remember feeling like the whole school was gonna find out and that I'd be a laughing stock
But a week passes and I get a text from Yoyo on insta telling me that the whole lesbian thing was a joke and that Lunnettes finds me "fit" (her words not mine) and suggesting that i talk to her, then her other friend messages me, I'm presuming to make fun of me or something but just ended up saying hi. Lunnettes then messages me saying not to listen to them.
Her friends started approaching me and my friend group in school asking us all sorts of weird questions, they even asked Fox if he was "coochie" (again, their words not mine) along with all sorts of odd things for about a week or so every break time.
Then Yoyo messages Fox, and Fox wanted answers, and he ended up finding out the truth. It turns out that lunnets used to like me but doesn't anymore, then lunnets messages him wanting to know what's going on, Lunnettes ends up telling him that she never liked me, according to him she was a "prick" and she said bad things about me to him, even something along the lines of "how could I ever like someone so unsociable" he told me that he was glad I didn't go out with her because she turned out to be horrible.
I believe him, but it's been over a year since all this, so I'm open to the possibility that she's changed, rumors about her tell me that she hasn't, but I take them with a pinch of salt, because at the end of they day, they're rumors/gossip
I haven't heard from her since (at least irl)
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, anything at all.To those that actually sat through and read all this, thank you very much, I appreciate the fact there's so much to read. :)

Edit: sorry for poor grammar in title.
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.