A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

You walk by.
You don't look at me.
You believe my common sense,.is senseless to me.
My intellect packs in with stupidity,
I am learning to fix my wit,
Self confidence, and proof reading.
I see your eyes,
You can not stand me.
I wish you felt comfortable,
With all of your moods,
To be around me.
I've said some unbelievable things to you,
An insurmountable amount of disrespect towards you
Too.
People could tell me not to carry that guilt,
But that's what principles are for,
Sticking like adhesive,
To things that make me feel good.
So I wouldn't need to walk with my head down,
Floored,
In pain and ignored, by my own conscious pain.
I am learning old english, Spanish as well,
I'm finding new avenues to work all the time,
And diligently, adding quality to my character.
Currently, , I am rendered guilty, regretfully, as of now,
Wishing you could walk by me,
Wanting to look at me.
But you hate me,
Think I'm stupid,
And she is your measurement for,
What you're deserving.

TW: Domestic violence, ideation, SA
These past couple months of my life have been transformation, but exhausting. I recently lost my grandfather to a terminal illness, the man who supported me in countless ways and really brought our family together when he first got sick. His death was crippling for the first couple weeks, but I have since been able to see that his suffering coming to an end is worth more than the rest of us having him still with us on earth. His passing put a lot of things in perspective, including my deep rooted unhappiness in my long term relationship and my unhealthy relationship with substances. Throughout this time, I lost a number of friends to the breakup, many of which led with the whole "bros before hoes" mentality, so much so that not a single one of them reach out when my grandfather did eventually die, and I had never felt so alone. In the mean time, I was able to grow very close with a group of coworkers my age, all in their twenties. On nights where all I wanted to do was get drunk and ignore my problems, they would drive me out to the dam and sit and listen to me sob about how I felt like I wasted the last couple months of my grandfather's life getting drunk with people who threw me away when I didn't want to party any more, all in the name of distracting myself from his inevitable death. They stepped up to the plate when I broke up with my ex and he lost his mind thinking I was a horrible person for not wanting him to come to my grandfather's funeral and just wanting to be alone instead of in a relationship where I was doing so much heavy lifting for little payout. I also had to come to terms with the fact that my ex and I only ever had sex when we were drunk because I really didn't enjoy it, but there was one time where he blacked out and didn't even remember us sleeping together. During that encounter, I had begged him to stop, but he couldn't hear me I guess, and he kept going until he finished and I just laid there and cried while he passed out next to me. I now know that was rape, but in the moment I felt like I did something wrong. That period of my life was so fucking hard, but I made it with the help of some awesome people and newfound sobriety.
Among the group of coworkers was Jack (25m). I will admit, I got butterflies the moment he walked into work that first time, but I never planned on acting on it; it was just a surprising thing that had never happened to me before. He and I started a friendship when he opened up about being new to the area, his desire to move up the ladder in the industry we both work in, and told me all about his dog who he loved so much. His girlfriend at the time, Alyssa (26f) had gotten a job here and they moved three hours north for her job, and he figured he might as well start working at a serious job in his dream industry. Our friendship grew when he commented to my good friend Tony (23m) and I about the growing resentment he had for the area and his girlfriend. Apparently, for years she had always been very dependent on him while still controlling most aspects of his life, but since they moved up here, she had stopped doing any house work, taking care of their dog, and demanding that he stay home to spend time with her instead of going out to meet new people in town (we work in a very social industry, and when he first started, we all got together and offered to take him out to see new things in town, meet other big people in the industry, etc, but didn't take it personally when he said no. However, this convo made it very clear that he wanted to go those four times we tried, but he was informed by Alyssa that he was a selfish bastard for wanting to go out without her and she felt like he hated her so much that he was trying to use work as an excuse to leave her alone. I can't make this up). He started crying about how he felt like a maid, like a doormat that she walked all over and how he wished he had never moved up here, how every time he tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself and he couldn't live with the thought of being responsible for her death. Tony let Jack know that none of that behavior was okay, and we as a group talked about what Jack really wanted to do with his life and what was holding him back. Shortly after, Jack broke up with Alyssa, who once again threatened to kill herself, got violent with him, and blamed him for throwing in the towel when she did nothing wrong. Tony gave Jack a room in apartment to stay in when it became clear that Alyssa would attack Jack anytime he was home, and he officially moved out within the week. Our coworkers all banded together to make sure he had furniture for his new room, bought him a dresser and a bed frame and we each took our cars over to his old place to move him out. It took a village, but he now has a safe apartment of his own with Tony and he has repeatedly thanked us all for letting him fall apart without judgement. A few months later, my grandfather passed and I was shown the same love by our little group. I have some amazing coworkers.
I was sitting next to Jack in the back of Tony's truck when I got the call my grandfather died. In that moment, it became clear that he really did care about me, and I am so grateful that he was there for me even when I swore I didn't need anyone. This all happened shortly after my breakup and newfound sobriety, so I was an absolute mess, but Jack didn't care. I opened up to him about my assault, my problem with drinking, and all the ugly parts of myself and he never once treated me like damaged goods. He and I fell apart and helped each other try to stitch together new lives at the expense of our old ones. I constantly am reminded by friends and family how much happier I am now, and I can give a lot of that credit to Jack and his patience and care. The same can be said for Jack, too. He and I hooked up one night months after I was single and felt slightly more in control of my emotions, and after doing that a couple more times, we started dating five months ago.
Now here comes the kicker. Jack has made some shitty choices in the past that I did not know about until we got together. Apparently, he had cheated on one of his exes at college, and when he and Alyssa first got together, he had been sleeping with two other girls who he cut things off with pretty suddenly when he got the chance to sleep with Alyssa, then they started dating a few weeks later. There are a number of girls that he kinda fucked over before the age of twenty, but he doesn't talk to any of them anymore and knows that he was in the wrong for all of them. Growth, I hope. I found out that he was still somewhat connected to one of them, and when I told him how worrisome that made me, he immediately apologized for not realizing earlier how that would make me uncomfortable and quickly (per his own volition) let her know that he did not want to continue talking because he felt it was clear she only really wanted to sleep with him and she had very little respect for his monogamous relationships. She flipped shit and he was glad that he was able to cut ties because apparently that wasn't the first time she tried to guilt trip him into staying in touch with her. But mostly, Alyssa has become a fairly constant fixture in our relationship. Because they had a dog together, Jack has to ask Alyssa when he can go over there to see the dog. She only does it on her terms, which is understandable, but she will constantly blame him for not taking care of the dog (Tony has two cats, and while Tony wants Jack to take the dog to their apartment, he doesn't think the cats would feel safe and they are already very skittish). She texts him biweekly saying that she found something of his, like a box of ties, a thing of utensils, etc, and demands he come get them and walk the dog asap. More than once, she has called him early in the morning asking him to come over because something is wrong with the dog, but most recently she called at 7 am saying "You need to get over here now, something is wrong with the dog. This shouldn't all be my problem and you should be the one taking care of this." He tries to get more info but she refused and said it shouldn't matter, he should just drop everything and take her to the vet and stop asking questions. He asked her to wait a few hours and if she still needed help he would come. Turns out, she clipped the dog's nail too short and the dog was bleeding a little, and that's what the phone call was for. But most alarming, Alyssa texted Jack repeatedly when we were on a lunch date saying that he needed to come take the dog because she was going to the mental hospital for suicidal ideation. Understandably so, we get the bill and Jack loses his mind in the car. He was terrified. She never did go, and when Jack reached out to her mom, she said Alyssa was fine and had no idea what he was talking about. She texts him randomly telling him he better come spend time with the dog because she's thinking of moving south again, three hours away, and will basically text him threatening stuff all the time all with the guise of him seeing the dog. I know this is all something I signed up for, but between the crazy shit with Alyssa and his cheating in the past, I don't know how I got myself involved in something so messy. Yes, he was being abused and now he is so grateful for the love I give him, but I still feel somewhat insecure based off how much say Alyssa has on his mood. He doesn't fold for anyone like he does for her, and while she or us will move out of state within the next year, I guess I mostly need to know what people recommend in terms of me feeling more secure in myself. This is a bug weight on my shoulders and while I do love him and am happy he his around, I need to prioritize myself above all else. Please help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (25m) and I (21f) have been through a lot. His ex girlfriend is very manipulative and I want to make sure I am taking care of myself to be the best version of myself after having a very transformative year (newfound sobriety, death of my grandfather, loss of many friends, and grief over a past relationship). I don't doubt that he loves me, I just want to look out for myself and make sure I am making healthy choices while we navigate a very heavy period of our lives together. Thanks in advance.

I'm genuinely curious. People always say to get a first class medical with existing anxiety/depression disorders you have to spend lots of money, it takes many years, and it's highly unlikely you'll get approved.
But the FAA states disqualifying conditions here: https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-14/chapter-I/subchapter-D/part-67/subpart-B/section-67.107
And I don't see anxiety or depression explicitly mentioned as a disqualifying condition? Additionally, people say that taking Zoloft will disqualify you immediately...but Zoloft is one of the four SSRI medications that is FAA approved.
It talks about anxiety and depression here, but it sounds like it depends on the severity of your condition as to whether it disqualifies you or not. They again, only explicitly state other more severe mental illnesses as disqualifying, but not specifically anxiety or depression: https://www.faa.gov/ame_guide/app_process/app_history/item18/m
General page with more info here: https://www.faa.gov/ame_guide/app_process/exam_tech/item47/et
So is the FAA just really strict about anxiety and depression and being on medication for it, even if it's not explicitly stated as a major disqualifying factor? Or am I missing something?
Edit: I'm seeing they're a bit more strict here, at least with being on medication, but there's still medication that they are okay with you being on. https://www.faa.gov/ame_guide/app_process/exam_tech/item47/amd/antidepressants

TW: mild ED
I've (22F) had a pretty good relationship with my girlfriend (23F), Jen, for four years. She's outgoing and straightforward, and she's really friendly and attentive sometimes. We hit a rough patch because I'm not quite her type and she's outspoken about it; I had a ED for roughly a year, but we've moved past that. But we were at her family reunion last night, and I think I've destroyed our relationship.
The reunion was a potluck with the classic rich Midwest fare. (I brought strudel.) I grabbed some food and sat down to start eating. I don't think I took that much - I don't like eating a lot in front of people I just met - but Jen seemed annoyed.
She made a few comments about me being a glutton to the people around her, and they laughed a bit. I laughed along with it, gave her a look, and changed the subject. Her relatives were friendly and so far I'd been having a great time.
Then the problem really started. I reached for a piece of bread. She prodded my stomach under the table, hard, to remind me I'm soft and should stop eating. I hated it, went scarlet, but obviously couldn't jerk away because we were in public. I grabbed the bread to spite her and she rolled her eyes.
At the end of the night, I went to put my coat on. I fussed with my buttons, because the hole are a little too small - for the record, that coat itself is blatantly loose on me. Jen comes over and stared at me, snorted, and said I should have listened to her about not eating so much.
I loudly told her that the last time I listened to her, she gave me an ED, so I'd rather not.
Other people heard. The coatroom was full, mainly with Jen's cousins and aunts. That's why I said that: I wanted to publically shame her. But I only meant for her to be temporarily embarrassed or given a weird look. Unfortunately, her family took it more seriously.
Jen's been blowing up my phone since last night. She's telling me her family is mad at her, that I ruined her reputation, that they think she's a horrible person. Apparently, one of her aunts really struggled with an ED as a kid, so her family takes it incredibly seriously. I have no idea how she can recover from what I said. Plus, I barely had an eating disorder - it messed over my mental health but it only affected my physical health towards the end.
I think I might be the asshole because I ruined her reputation just for having standards for what she wants me to look like. She wasn't even extreme or anything, though she did encourage the disordered thinking and mock me about my weight once she knew. She wanted a pretty achievable physique that I lowkey should probably be aiming for right now - I haven't been paying much attention to my weight, and I'm back to the generic strong but heavy farm kid build.
I don't know. Is she irrational? Am I retaliatory and throwing blame on her? I love her, but I just want her to be kinder about how I look... she could just talk to me.

Months ago, I posted some disc golf trip ideas for some insight and recommendations. Last week I went on a five-day road trip and played 8 different courses throughout Missouri, Illinois, and Iowa. I thought I would share my thoughts on each course...
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Bad Rock Creek - (Short Reds) This is a course I could see myself playing nearly every day. Nice variety. Lots of ace runs on the shorts. Excited to come back and play the longs.
7/10 beauty, 8/10 fun, 8/10 overall
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Harmony Bends - (short reds) Phenomenal course. This could potentially be my favorite course if not for the swamp. I knew it would be rough since it rained the day before, but I'm stubborn and played it anyway. Still a top course to me despite holes 9-13 being submerged.
9/10 beauty, 8/10 fun, 9/10 overall
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Eagle's Crossing - (shorts - championship course) What a unique experience. I've heard others describe it similarly, but I've been telling people that this is the Disney World of disc golf courses. Everyone should play this at least once for the experience. This course may toe the line between gimmicky and extravagant, but I happen to find that appealing. One thing I appreciated about this course is it really required some decision making on many of the holes. Highly recommend renting the golf carts for the ultimate experience. Also, shout out to the staff, they were very kind and helpful.
9/10 beauty, 8/10 fun, 8/10 overall
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The Canyons at Dellwood - (OG White) Holy shit, I fully understand how this is Illinois' #1 rated course. The locals are spoiled having this course and Northwood a few hours away. This is probably the most enjoyable course I have ever played. So many unique holes and I was amazed at how a public neighborhood course was so well taken care of. I don't know why, but I kept getting sesame street vibes with all the different types of people occupying the park for different occasions, birthday parties, wedding photo ops, etc... I suppose that's expected at most parks, but to have a full 27-hole course weaving throughout the park just felt so seamless and natural. And yet, somehow, it never felt crowded or distracting. This course should be the gold standard for public park courses. *also, I snagged my first eagle
10/10 beauty, 10/10 fun, 10/10 overall
​
Northwood Black - (longs) Dellwood may be my new number one, but this course is a close second. I mean, I shot 22 over par and I still had an absolute blast on this course. I'm sure most of you have seen coverage of this course, so I won't go into detail, but I'll just say this... I wanted to play the longs on the most difficult course on tour to get an idea of what the pros are truly up against, and holy fuck did I get the needed perspective. I know as you're reading this you're thinking "yea I'm sure the footage doesn't do it justice", but jesus christ some of these holes are absolutely absurd. I would say that on at least six of these holes I walked up to the tee pad and just started laughing, thinking "no fucking way anyone could birdie this hole", despite seeing it be done before. Everything is so much longer and taller! I got four pars on this course, and they felt better than any birdie I've gotten. It wasn't just the challenge that made me appreciate this course, but the landscape was gorgeous and I'm not sure why I wasn't expecting that.
10/10 beauty, 9/10 fun, 9/10 overall
​
Shaver Park - (shorts) This course was pretty fun. A fair number of unique holes that I really enjoyed. Only major drawback was the design felt a little clustered and confusing up top near the end. A family of deer tried to hang out with me though so that was cool. Also, to be fair, I received some bad news back home during the start of the round so that brought my mood down and affected my experience.
7/10 beauty, 8/10 fun, 7/10 overall
​
Wildcat Bluff - (longs) Phenomenal. In some ways this course is like Northwood Lite. Heavily wooded with some incredible holes that really test your nerves. After playing Northwood and Wildcat, I began to understand how playing such difficult courses can improve your game. They helped me learn that if you don’t have total confidence and don't put in 100% effort and commitment into every single shot, you will get punished. I'm already starting to feel that translate to my game back home.
10/10 beauty, 9/10 fun, 9/10 overall
​
Pickard Park - (longs to longs) I played the layout for the A-tier going down next month, which I assume is similar to what we will see for the DMC in July. Once again, I enjoyed playing a course where I've seen the pros play so many rounds. I really think this is one of the more well-rounded courses on tour. (though I will admit it may have one of the most boring finishing holes imo)
Side note: surprisingly, I managed to not lose a disc this entire trip until here on hole 12. If you find a crave stuck in the trees on the right you can have it, you're welcome.
8/10 beauty, 8/10 fun, 8/10 overall
​
Overall, my experience was amazing. Despite playing eight courses across the Midwest over five days, I managed to avoid the rain and wind entirely and the temps were always between 60-80°
This trip was perfect for the road in that I never had to drive more than 2.5 hours at a time. So, if you decide to plan a road trip soon, I highly recommend spacing out your destinations no minimize drive times if possible.
I've only played about 35 courses in my life so far, but if anyone is curious my top 10 so far is:

1. Dellwood
   
2. Northwood
   
3. Wildcat Bluff
   
4. Harmony Bends
   
5. Beale Slough
   
6. Bad Rock Creek
   
7. Seven Oaks
   
8. Eagle's Crossing
   
9. Pickard Park
   
10. Waterworks
    

Hi. Ive been posting frequently on this forum for the last 5 months seeking for help and advice or recovery stories to keep myself alive. I kept deleting my posts after a day because I was ashamed and most of the times no one responded. I suffered from general anxiety disorder for half my life. I’ve been to multiple mental hospitals because of it and it usually was better for some time and than kept getting bad again. My last mental hospital stay was roughly 5 years ago and for the majority of time after I felt quite okay with everything. Last year I started treating myself very badly tho and had a lot of stress with work while also not sleeping a lot, not eating healthy and some other problems in my personal life. 6 months ago my body just said it’s enough. It started with heart palpations and developed into breathing issues, chest pain, daily silent panic attacks and just overall getting very very anxious about my health. I ran to the ER nearly weekly and kept seeing my doctor but he kept telling me everything is fine. I got a lung CT, went to the cardiologist and everything came back fine but I couldn’t believe what they are saying because quite frankly I was convinced I’m slowly dying. That’s how I felt. I’m 27 btw so I shouldn’t feel that way. At some point my brain couldn’t handle all of this anymore and i developed severe derealisation/depersonalisation which made everything even worse, because now I not only felt like I’m dying but also I felt like I’m not even there anymore mentally and just felt like I live life on autopilot. Luckily I have experience with DP/DR and It didn’t scare the shit out of me as much anymore and made me think I have a psychosis or whatever, but still it’s probably the worst thing I ever experienced and I want no one to have to go through something like this. At this point I developed muscle pain and weakness in my entire body all the time, for the last 3 months I didn’t leave the house at all because I just couldn’t move. Quite literally if I raised my arms for 2 minutes to do something like brushing my teeth I felt like I’ve just done a 3 hour workout. It was horrible. I had it in my legs, in my arms, when I walked up stairs my entire chest started hurting and I had breathing issues. So now I started thinking I have MS or ALS. Went to the neurologist and everything came back clear aswell. I started having constant pressure on my ears also and pain in the ears. I saw an ENT and once again: everything was normal. 1 month ago I made the move and decided with my therapist to start lexapro again. I started taking it in mental hospital 5 years ago and quit 2 years ago because I felt „normal“ (I wonder why 😂).
It might be a bit too early but for the last week my anxiety went down SO MUCH. I don’t have muscle pain anymore, no heart palpations, no ear pressure, no breathing issues. Nothing. My derealisation is still there at times but while it was on a 10/10 before it’s at a 2/10 now. I feel soooo much better. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all Lexapro. I’m not trying to advertise for antidepressants or anything. I cut down my job and just took 3 months off to recover. Y’all have to decide yourself if you wanna try meds or not and it might not work for everyone.
What I wanna achieve with this post is, to give hope to some people that keep googling all those symptoms they have and can’t believe it’s anxiety. All of you that keep commenting under 7 year old posts to ask if those people feel better or recovered to give you some hope and power to move forward.
Yes. Anxiety can cause all of this things. I didn’t believe it myself and I know how you feel. But chances are if you seen all the doctors and everything came back clear, that you indeed just experience intense anxiety.
Please, don’t give up and keep moving forward. It will get better. I promise. ❤️

Hi, I was skinny talkative guy when I was young and got made fun of a lot during high school and middle school. Even when I was in college, I got made fun of a lot because I did attention seeking behavior and anxiety disorder. After college, I worked out a lot and served in military, became physically jacked. I cut off many people from the past. However, It’s still hard for me to hold masculine frame at work. Because of my anxiety disorder and I freak out a lot. Plus, one time I thought my work colleagues were my friends and treat them as such. I learned it’s not. In society, it’s better to keep silent in many situations. I think about it now how I can become a real man with total control of my mindset and not let others look down on me. I came across the conclusion that I need to not share about my personal feeling or issue with anyone, keep my mouth shut until I get to know this person well which includes not showing my emotion up and downs. I resigned my previous job and about to jump into new job soon but I want to change myself. Throughout last few jobs, I fixed my bad habits. But I sometimes let go my riddles and repeat the same mistake. What would be the best practice for me to not show emotion and stay silent most of time ?

I (23M) am in a 4 months old relationship with my girl friend (26F). We love each other a lot. She's interested in knowing more about me, seeing each other more frequently and texts or calls me every day. She also was the one to suggest getting physical.
We enjoy the time we spend together a lot when everything is fine. However, when there's an issue, it gets hard to conduct a healthy conversation. We both are rather impatient. She's mild depression as well and get irritated quickly. Even for insignificant disagreements, we might short fuse and disconnect.
So far, she's blocked me on Instagram 3 times. However, the resentment is minimal and short-lived and she always unblocks and refollows me in a day or 2. Reaching out is easy, since we miss each other.
I'm not sure if this is due to not knowing each other enough and once the boundaries are defined, it gets fixed on its own; or it indicates underlaying issues such as immaturity, passive-aggressiveness, incompatibility and avoidance.
I was told that since the relationship is not well-established yet, it cannot be stonewalling; however, once the euphoric honeymoon phase is over, the masks slip and we might have to deal with more serious issues in future.
I have ADHD and OCD; so, a portion of the blame is definitely on me. But I'm noticing some similarities between her previous relationship and this one.
She broke up with her ex 2 years ago. The final year was rocky and in on-again off-again format. Most of the times, it was she who reached out to reconcile. But it only got worse and after the break up she was depressed for a year.
I don't think she's still carrying the emotional bag. 2 years has passed, her ex hates her and is living far from us, and they've been in NC for at least 1.5 years.
It's been a couple of years that she vapes moderately to alleviate her mood swings. I am hyperactive during the days, but smoke weed to relax at nights.
I don't want to overthink or over-react if it's normal or at least not a huge red flag. But some people have told me that this means having drama (even if temporary) which should be uncommon during the first few months of relationship and so, should be considered a deal breaker.
tl;dr male (23) and female (26) in a 4 month relationship. 3 times of blocking/unblocking each other on Instagram but reconciling very quickly and easily.

Personally, I've been rating albums for six years and there have been periods where I've been too focused on giving a rating that reflects my opinion on an album rather than enjoying it. Recently I've been randomly revisiting some albums that I've loved and listening to some new ones without taking into account any rating and, to be honest, I've rediscovered what genuinely listening to music is.
I think that in the music community there's too much emphasis on rating and reviewing an album and less on just discussing and sharing music. I see people listening to 4 or 5 albums a day and rating them on RYM and I genuinely feel that they can't be enjoying all that music, it must feel like a chore to them. To listen to an album and then immediately give it a rating and forget that it exists, without taking into consideration how an album grows on you with time, how mood can affect your enjoyment of it, what that album meant at the time it was released and what it means now...
When I started to be a music lover I used to dig deep into YouTube recommendations, click on any album with an interesting cover art or title, and then enjoy it while reading all the positive comments left by the users. When I moved to RYM for my recs I entered a world that dug deeper into music (YouTube, unless a documentary, views music on a superficial level), but I also saw a passive-aggressive, elitist side of music that I don't quite like, and I think that it affected my way of enjoying music because I took into account the general opinion of the site.
Now I'm going back to just clicking on YouTube videos, talking to people about music and listening to whatever they recommend, living music in a less analytical way and letting myself enjoy whatever comes into my hands without thinking if it's considered good music or radio-friendly commercial crap.
How do you feel about this matter?

TLDR: my ex broke up with me during a major episode because she said she couldn’t handle being with someone that needs that sort of attention and can’t love myself. Now I can’t look at her around campus without wanting to yell at her.
I have diagnosed quiet BPD, and my partner broke up with me during a major depressive episode back in March. Among other reasons (which admittedly felt like shallow reasons to split up), she basically told me that she couldn’t handle being with someone like me who is incapable of loving myself and needs validation and attention. She told me, “you have to be your own Favorite Person”. I think she was trying to be kind and tell me to take care of myself, but that shit really hurt. In the moment I went inward and just blamed myself but didn’t say much to her about it.
I think it’s also important to note that this was the first time in the year we were together that I fully opened up to her about my mental health. I finally had enough trust that she was a safe person and could listen to me and I really needed that support. She knew all along that I had BPD and struggled with things, but told me early in our relationship that she needed me to be focusing my attention on her health because she was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness. She said I needed to just be the support to her and I accepted that. But the first time I was seriously asking for support she left. After I spent a year taking care of her while suppressing my own struggles (including physical and mental health due to my chronic illnesses and the death of a friend).
As for the splitting part, I’m doing my best to keep myself away so she doesn’t have to experience it. I’ve had to see her a few times recently and I just can’t get myself to be happy and interactive. I removed her from my social media and things pretty suddenly and I have intentionally avoided her even when in the same room. Admittedly I’ve been quite rude when she is talking to me or around me. Most of the time I just shut down conversation and leave. It’s taken every bit of my control to not blow up at her as soon as she walks in.
I hate how angry I am. Usually for me the anger is inward, but it’s gotten to a point where even hearing people mention her name makes me livid. I honestly think she is incredibly selfish to so immediately leave me when I asked for help. As if she wasn’t aware I have this disorder. She interacts with my friends and pretends like everything is fine all while she must surely be aware of how awful she treated me. She also knew it had happened before. Every fucking time I open up to someone they leave me. I’m sick of it. I just don’t want to be angry anymore and I don’t know how to let myself let go of that feeling.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

So I (20F) have an older sister (23F) and yesterday she had her first anxiety attack. So yesterday we were helping my mom out at work and my sister came back after bring some food at like 5pm. We didn’t get to go home till 8pm. 2 hours later my sister comes into my room and tells me that she is experiencing shortness of breath, dizziness, and wobbly legs. Diabetes runs in my family so I thought she might be experiencing something related to that (she is prediabetic), but she didn’t have any other symptoms that would match that. I then asked how long it had been going on and she said since 5pm. So immediately I told her we need to go to the hospital. She also told me that her throat felt like it was closing so I thought it was a bad allergic reaction but she told me it didn’t feel that way. At this point I was just in pure go mood and started to drive her to the nearest ER. I called my mom and she suggested that it might be an anxiety attack since she had an interview in the morning. That was when I started to realize that it might be an anxiety attack because that how I usually start mine. Just a little bit of backstory, I have VERY bad anxiety attacks/spells. Some of my friends that have seen the really bad ones have told me that it reminds them of people that go into manic episodes. Anyways, I have had an anxiety attack in front of my family before and still get teased and mocked for it. So my sister goes to the ER with me and my grandparents (my mom was on the way) and the people at the hospital almost immediately give her an anxiety reduction pill. We got there at 11 and didn’t leave till 1am just for them to tell us it was an anxiety attack. My family has been babying my sister since the incident. Here are some examples: We are helping my mom with work (we are getting paid) and because she had an anxiety attack I have to complete all her work and finish the things SHE didn’t complete yesterday. They are checking up on her and making it seem like it’s oh so hard for her. They are being nice to her instead of what they did to me. I don’t want them to be mean to her like they did me but I feel like they are treating her like she is some fragile human being. I never wish ill on my sister as we are extremely close but like they are just pretending like this is going to kill her. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Lord Albion is a character created by Vito Delsante. The author himself, unfortunately, did not develop the character well, but small details indicate that he is a rather hypocritical hero and so I decided to expand on this topic.
Lord Albion's improved history will be released into the public domain and can be used by anyone for anything.
Lord Albion main superhero of Great Britain, Was found by the ACME company which recruited various superheroes and turned them into super brands, which is what happened to Lord Albion.In Britain, many people know this Albion as the most noble heroic and heartfelt hero they have. The child has his own anxieties and films, several animated series, video games, books, comics and so on. In many of these works he is presented as a completely positive saint and an angelic saint without a single sin.
However, his real character is quite controversial; he is quite hypocritical, proud, deceitful and also often likes to drink and sometimes goes to do his tasks drunk. Because of this, many heroes who associate with him hate him and insult him in various ways, however, the ACME company manages to hide all the mistakes of Lord Albion so that their branding does not go to hell.
Super abilities
Flight - Lord Albion can fly like many other popular superheroes.
The superpower of the city of Albion is able to lift an entire building and not even get tired.
Incredible endurance- The city of Albion is capable of withstanding powerful blows from a bazooka and perhaps even from a nuclear bomb, but this is not certain.
Movies
Lord Albion Origins - This is the first film that tells the fake origin story of Lord Albion about his type of difficult childhood about how he dreamed of making people's lives better I'm the first supervillain whom he met.
Lord Albion 2 Knight of the Queen-This is a film that tells how Spassky's world albion is a film that tells how Lord Albion fought with a group of villains who wanted to kill and overthrow the Queen of Britain. Also at the end of the film, the Queen of Britain gives the Lord of Albion the title of knight.
Lord Albion 3 Wrath of the Zzed- This is the last part of the trilogy of films about Lord Albion, where he met a new enemy named Zzed an immortal magician who wanted to rule the world and was an incredibly dangerous enemy for Lord Albion.
Cartoons
Lord Albion Safety Regulations- These are animated shows where Lord Albion teaches children safety rules, what they should not do and what they should do in dangerous situations and how they should react to them.
Lord Albion The Animated Series. An animated action series about the adventures of Lord Albion where he fought with various villains and also finds new allies
Lord Albion Hero of Tomorrow. Full-length animated cartoon dedicated to Lord Albion.
Video games.
Lord Albion video game - in this game players are given the opportunity to feel like the great superhero Lord Albion, feel his superpowers, need to beat the asses of a couple of supervillains, and save civilians.
Lord Albion vs League of Death. - This is a game where Lord Albion confronts his enemies who have united in a League of Death.
Books.
What's it like to be like Albion? - This is a book in which Lord Albion explains what it's like to be one and what he does to be a good hero.
You can become a hero - this is a book that Lord Albion wrote to inspire people by saying in this book that they too can be heroes and he says what they need to do for this.
Ida I am releasing all this information into the public domain.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) is the subject of heated debate. How are mast cell activation syndromes defined? Which diseases are included? What is the diagnosis and treatment of mast cell activation syndrome? Prof. Dr. Knut Brockow, Clinic and Polyclinic for Dermatology and Allergology at the Biederstein, Technical University of Munich answers these questions in an interview with MeinAllergiePortal.
Mast cell activation syndrome: The most important facts!
-The prototype of mast cell activation syndrome is recurrent anaphylaxis
-Other forms of idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome are being sought; however, there are mainly symptom descriptions where the diagnosis cannot be made
-Clinical suspicion of MCAS is based on recurring allergy-like symptoms on the skin, nose, respiratory tract, gastrointestinal tract and circulation
-The diagnosis of MCAS is made according to recognized international criteria based on three criteria
-MCAS is often suspected even when symptoms are inappropriate and the diagnosis is unclear; the suspicion is then not helpful for patients
-The same medications are used to treat MCAS as are used to treat allergies, in particular antihistamines and cromoglicic acid
Prof. Brockow, what kind of disease is MCAS?
Mast cell activation syndrome is not an established diagnosis, but rather a concept. Historically, this concept arose because an increasing number of patients came to the doctor's office with complaints that gave the impression of having been triggered by mast cells. These patients sometimes showed symptoms similar to those of allergic reactions, anaphylaxis or mastocytosis, but a clear diagnosis for these diseases could not be made. Nevertheless, it was suspected that there could at least be a connection with mast cell diseases. Unfortunately, the term MCAS created more uncertainty than understanding. This is because MCAS is now thrown around as a diagnosis for many patients with many symptoms and an unclear diagnosis. This is not helpful for patients and fuels short-term hope of diagnosis and cure, which cannot be fulfilled later.
Is MCAS an autoimmune disease?
No, in autoimmune diseases mast cells are not primarily involved and not as lead cells, but lymphocytes that attack the body's own structures, in some cases by forming antibodies.
Is there a connection between mast cell activation syndrome and autoimmune diseases?
No, there is no known connection between MCAS and autoimmune diseases. It has also been claimed by specific authors that other diseases, such as Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) and myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) are related to mast cell activation syndrome. However, there are no good arguments for this. Unfortunately, such claims are easy to make and difficult to refute.
What is the cause of mast cell activation syndrome?
Mast cell activation syndrome is actually more of a symptom description than a diagnosis in its own right. Mast cell activation syndrome is fully applicable to recurrent anaphylaxis (severe allergic reactions in several organ systems such as the skin, respiratory tract, digestive tract and circulatory system), for example due to insect bites. All the criteria for mast cell activation syndrome are met here. Severe allergic reactions are the most common cause of MCAS. However, although the term MCAS is correct in this context, it does not provide any additional information, as patients with such events are better described as patients with a diagnosis of anaphylaxis or allergy, and the term MCAS is somewhat confusing.
Is mast cell activation syndrome genetic?
MCAS itself is not genetic, but patients with the genetic disease mastocytosis often suffer from anaphylaxis, particularly to insect venom, and therefore MCAS. In addition, it is currently being investigated whether people with genetically determined hereditary alpha-tryptasemia suffer more frequently from MCAS.
How did the term mast cell activation syndrome come about?
There were many patients without a clear diagnosis, some of whom predominantly showed the symptoms typical of mast cell diseases. Accordingly, the experts dealing with mast cell diseases saw the need to develop a concept that took into account the “undiagnosable” symptoms of the patients. In the course of this, the terms “mast cell activation” and “mast cell activation syndrome” were defined. In addition, an attempt was made to sort all mast cell diseases into a classification with regard to mast cell activation. However, the difficulty in classifying these complaints is that many of the complaints described by patients are subjective, relatively non-specific and can be both organic and psychosomatic.
How have you defined mast cell diseases and which diseases do they include?
Mast cell diseases are defined as recurring chronic symptoms that are compatible with mast cell activation.
Mast cell activation is classified on the basis of three criteria:
Recurrent typical clinical symptoms in at least two organ systems
An increase in mast cell mediators can be detected in the blood, most frequently by determining the serum tryptase level during an acute attack
Good response of symptoms to anti-mast cell mediator-directed therapy, especially H1 antihistamines
What types of mast cell disease are there?
The classification of mast cell diseases associated with mast cell activation syndromes defines three groups:
1. primary mast cell activation syndrome
Primary mast cell activation syndrome is explained by a clonal expansion of mutated overactive mast cells. It manifests as systemic or cutaneous mastocytosis. If these criteria are not completely fulfilled, but clonal mast cells have been detected, it is referred to as monoclonal mast cell activation syndrome.
2 Secondary mast cell activation syndrome
Secondary mast cell activation syndrome is present when clear triggers of mast cell activation are known. There are established terms for secondary mast cell activation syndrome that we are more familiar with, such as “anaphylaxis” to a known trigger. The classification in the second group of mast cell diseases is therefore merely a reclassification. Examples of mast cell activation are physical urticaria or cold urticaria. Allergies such as pollen allergies are also secondary mast cell activations, as hay fever also causes symptoms typical of mast cell diseases. In pollen allergies, mast cell mediators are found in the blood serum and drugs directed against mast cells have a good effect. If the symptoms recur in several organ systems, this is referred to as mast cell activation syndrome.
3. tertiary or idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome
Tertiary or idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome refers to mast cell diseases whose triggers are unknown. This group would include, for example, chronic spontaneous urticaria, which has additional symptoms in other organs. Here we know that mast cells are activated, but not by what. This group of idiopathic mast cell activation syndromes would also include patients with as yet undescribed clinical pictures who do not fulfill the diagnostic criteria of known mast cell diseases, e.g. allergy, anaphylaxis, but in whom the disease is triggered by mast cells. In these patients, however, the connection between the symptoms and the activities of the mast cells must be proven.
Does this mean that tertiary or idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome is a diagnosis of exclusion?
Idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome can be described as a diagnosis of exclusion insofar as the prerequisite for the diagnosis is that there is no other disease causing the symptoms. However, the symptoms described are often very, very unspecific and could also be caused by a variety of other diseases. However, there are the three criteria for mast cell activation syndrome already mentioned. If these are not all fulfilled, this diagnosis cannot be made.
How common is mast cell activation syndrome?
Anaphylaxis and severe recurrent allergies are not uncommon and represent the vast majority of appropriate cases for MCAS. In addition, mastocytosis patients often have multiple anaphylaxis and therefore also MCAS. However, our initial idea of finding a new disease, idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome, has not yet been confirmed. There are many patients with many symptoms for whom a clear organic diagnosis cannot yet be made. However, it is almost never possible to prove that a defect in the mast cells is primarily responsible for the symptoms. Many of these patients describe symptoms that could fit, and in some patients anti-allergic drugs also have a positive effect. But in only very few patients can an increase in mast cell mediators be detected during an acute attack. I now believe that somatic stress disorders could play a significant role in many of the patients examined.
Histamine intolerance is also a diagnosis of exclusion, is there a connection with mast cell activation syndrome?
Histamine intolerance can cause similar symptoms, but is not a mast cell disorder and has nothing to do with MCAS. When mast cells are activated, the messenger substance histamine is released, which in turn can cause symptoms. In histamine intolerance, the mast cell is not activated - it is not involved in any way. Rather, histamine intolerance describes patients with an increased sensitivity to histamine, which is supplied, for example, via the diet. This can lead to similar symptoms, but in contrast to mast cell activation syndrome, histamine intolerance has a clear trigger, histamine. As a result, the symptoms occur after eating histamine-rich foods, but disappear again if the patient follows a low-histamine diet. A test is also available to diagnose histamine intolerance.
So there are also patients with suspected mast cell activation syndrome who cannot be assigned to a classification group, even though they have corresponding symptoms?
There are many patients in whom no mast cell activation syndrome can be detected despite suspicion. They do not fit into one of the three groups. However, this also used to include monoclonal mast cell activation syndrome. These patients showed anaphylaxis and a KIT mutation, but not the full criteria for mastocytosis. In the meantime, a separate disease diagnosis has been created for these patients. The independent accepted disease of these patients therefore lies between mastocytosis and normal findings.
We thought that there might be other forms of idiopathic MCAS with clinical pictures that have not yet been described. However, this is not supported by the findings to date. There are patients who show symptoms but do not meet the necessary criteria for idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome. In these patients, the diagnosis remains unclear. In how many of these patients functional physical complaints play a role still needs to be investigated.
Are there risk factors that favor mast cell activation syndrome?
There are hardly any recognized studies on this. In a study conducted by Cem Akin in the USA, patients were examined who met the three criteria for idiopathic mast cell activation syndrome. They had the right symptoms, there was an increase in mediators and their symptoms improved with treatment. It was shown that many of these patients suffered from urticaria factitia, a scratch-induced urticaria, abdominal pain and flushing.
Recently, a genetic trait was discovered, hereditary alpha-tryptasemia with elevated basal serum tryptase levels. In patients with this trait and insect venom allergy, the severity of the allergic reaction appears to be increased. It is also discussed that the frequency of mast cell activation syndrome is increased in patients with this genetic trait. However, the published studies are not yet unanimous in this respect.
What symptoms can occur with MCAS?
The following symptoms could be signs of mast cell activation syndrome:
MCAS symptoms on the skin:
Appearance of sudden intense redness (flushing)
itching
wheal formation
Deep wheal formation (angioedema or Quincke's edema)
MCAS symptoms on the nose:
Nasal congestion
Nasal itching
MCAS symptoms in the airways:
Swelling of the upper airways
Wheezing
Shortness of breath
MCAS symptoms of the digestive tract:
Vomiting
abdominal pain
diarrhea
Systemic MCAS symptoms:
Syncope - where you suddenly lose consciousness, but only for a short time
Sudden drop in blood pressure
Allergic shock
These symptoms can occur together or individually. In principle, symptoms must occur in two or more organ systems for MCAS. These symptoms, together with the typical skin changes and anaphylaxis, are also typical of mastocytosis.
Are muscle pain and hair loss also symptoms of MCAS?
No, why would anyone think that these symptoms are primarily caused by a malfunction of mast cells? Mast cells are not important cells for muscle pain and hair loss.
How is MCAS diagnosed?
MCAS is a diagnosis of exclusion, i.e. there is no mast cell activation syndrome test. However, this does not mean that all other diseases must be ruled out before a diagnosis of MCAS can be made.
When testing directly for mast cell activation syndrome, three criteria would be examined, all of which must be met, not just two:
First, there must be a matching of symptoms to see if the above symptoms are leading, recurrent and occur in at least two organ systems.
Is there a substantial or complete improvement in the clinical symptoms when taking anti-allergic medication, antihistamines or cromoglicic acid? Then this criterion would apply.
The blood levels of tryptase in the serum can now be examined at two different points in time. This would check whether there is an increase in mast cell mediators or tryptase in the blood serum in a highly symptomatic phase or during a seizure compared to a time when there are no symptoms.
What does the tryptase level in the blood mean in the diagnosis of mast cell activation syndrome?
If the mast cell mediator tryptase rises by 20 percent of the basal value, i.e. the initial value, + 2 ng/ml during such an episode, the diagnosis of mast cell activation syndrome has been made without the need to rule out other diseases beforehand. However, taking blood samples to determine the tryptase levels is very time-consuming, because a blood sample should be taken in the normal state and then another blood sample should be taken during a seizure or a highly symptomatic episode. This means that the patient must see a doctor in good time for a blood test during the acute phase. If these tests are negative, mast cell activation syndrome cannot be confirmed.
Elevated tryptase levels also play a role in anaphylaxis, is there a connection with mast cell activation syndrome?
Anaphylaxis is an extremely strong mast cell activation, the “prototype” of mast cell activation, so to speak. The tryptase level rises, so that it is considered an indicator of anaphylaxis. Here too, the basal value is measured and compared with the value during an episode. The relevant factor is the resulting increase in the tryptase value. The therapy against mast cells is effective in this case. In this respect, anaphylaxis is the classic form of mast cell activation syndrome.
The tryptase value also plays a role in the diagnosis of mastocytosis, what are the correlations here?
Mastocytosis patients also have an elevated baseline tryptase level. This is therefore an indication of mastocytosis and an indication for a final diagnosis by means of a bone marrow biopsy. However, there is also a mastocytosis-independent correlation between tryptase and anaphylaxis. People who have a higher number of mast cells often develop more severe anaphylaxis than people with fewer mast cells. The tryptase basal value is therefore considered a kind of indicator for the total mast cells in the body. For example, insect venom anaphylactic patients with elevated basal mast cell tryptase levels in the blood are at increased risk of severe anaphylaxis.
What can be done against MCAS and which medications help?
The aim of treatment for mast cell activation syndrome is to slow down the effect of the overactivated mast cells and to calm the mast cells. In particular, the avoidance of allergic triggers is available for this purpose.
Histamine receptor blockers are tried as medication to block the effects of mast cell activation by histamine. Mast cell stabilizers or blockers of mast cell release, cromoglicic acid, can also calm the mast cells. Cromoglicic acid is also used in mastocytosis patients. It is important to know that the use of cromoglicic acid is not advisable if the attack has already run its course. On the other hand, many patients achieve a significant improvement in symptoms if cromoglicic acid is taken continuously as a preventive measure and in a sufficiently high dose. This has also been shown to be the case with antihistamines.
Another option would be leukotriene receptor antagonists and corticosteroids in the short term, but never over a longer period of time.
Unfortunately, many patients with previously unexplained complaints are given a suspected diagnosis of MCAS in the hope that this knowledge will lead to better treatment or perhaps a cure. However, apart from the drugs mentioned, which can also be used on a trial basis in cases of suspected MCAS, there are no other useful drugs available. In this respect, the suspicion of MCAS unfortunately does not offer patients any additional treatment options.
Are there foods that activate or deactivate mast cells?
No such foods are known in humans. Of course, it is possible to bombard mast cells in a test tube with high concentrations of food and measure whether the natural activation of mast cells is increased or reduced. However, such tests are generally not meaningful for humans when consumed.
Can naturopathy help with mast cell activation syndrome?
I don't know how it could help. Naturopathy is the attempt to achieve a positive effect through naturally occurring active substances. Is the avoidance of allergens in our natural environment already naturopathy?
Could certain vitamins, for example vitamin C, be beneficial for MCAS?
This is claimed by a few doctors without any convincing results. Vitamin C is also said to help against seasickness. After all, vitamin C, taken in normal amounts, is not harmful and is beneficial. Sometimes the conviction that a substance is good for you also helps. That's why the experiment doesn't bother me.
Is it possible to prevent mast cell activation syndrome?
Yes, by avoiding MCAS with a known trigger. This is the case with allergies. In the case of allergies and recurrent anaphylaxis as a form of MCAS, omalizumab, an antibody against immunoglobulin E, can also be used in individual patients.
Prof. Brockow, thank you very much for this interview!
https://www.mein-allergie-portal.com/mastozytose-mastzellaktivierungssyndrom-mcas/925-idiopathisches-mastzellenaktivierungssyndrom-ein-neues-krankheitsbild.html

https://www.uniklinikum-leipzig.de/einrichtungen/lica/Seiten/mastzell-aktivierungs-ayndrom-mcas.aspx
More and more patients are contacting us because they suspect that they have mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS). We would therefore like to provide some basic information on this clinical picture based on a recent publication (Weiler et al. J Allergy Clin Immunol. 2019 Aug 30).
Some publications and the lay press define the diagnostic criteria for MCAS very broadly. In some cases, findings of non-validated laboratory tests are associated with atypical symptoms in order to diagnose MCAS. This sometimes leads to great confusion among patients and medical professionals. This becomes critical when underlying diseases that are not mediated by mast cells remain undiagnosed.
Clinical symptoms for which there is no evidence of a connection with MCAS, but which are nevertheless frequently associated with it, are
Tiredness / fatigue, Feeling ill, Fibromyalgia-like pain, dermographism, oedema, Various skin rashes, Tinnitus, Lymph node swelling, constipation, Prostatitis, Chronic back pain, Headache, Mood swings, Anxiety, Post-traumatic stress, Weight changes, Hypothyroidism / hyperthyroidism, Polycythemia, Psychiatric/neurological complaints. Anemia Electrolyte disorders, Increased or decreased blood protein levels
Complaints or symptoms may also not be used for diagnosis if they are present in isolation, e.g. abdominal pain, diarrhea or reddening of the skin, or if they occur chronically rather than in attacks.
Affected organs and associated symptoms that are of diagnostic value for making a diagnosis (at least two of four organ systems must be affected, typically in an attack-like manner):
-Cardiovascular: drop in blood pressure, palpitations, dizziness / loss of consciousness / collapse
-Respiratory tract: wheezing, shortness of breath, stridor when inhaling
-Skin: paroxysmal redness, urticaria, itching, angioedema
-Gastrointestinal tract: diarrhea, nausea, abdominal cramps
Another characteristic feature is the detection of elevated blood levels of transmitter substances originating from the mast cell, such as tryptase. If the tryptase level is significantly elevated, mastocytosis of the skin and other organs must be ruled out (presentation to outpatient dermatology and hematology). The diamine oxidase measurement in serum has no diagnostic value with regard to MCAS. If you notice that certain foods or medications trigger or intensify your symptoms, these must be avoided.
With MCAS, the symptoms typically respond to treatment with antihistamines; only rarely will other medications (e.g. glucocorticosteroids, omalizumab) be used.
The prescription of emergency medication may be useful.
If underlying allergies are suspected, we advise you to consult an allergy specialist near your home. If they are in favor of a referral, we will be happy to make appointments. Last but not least, MCAS is a diagnosis of exclusion.
We are not the right contact for complaints of isolated organ systems or non-specific general symptoms.

So as with many users here, my relationship with MIL was fine before having a baby, but now that he’s here she’s developed a classic case of baby rabies and has become a bit of a boundary pusher. I know this is common for new moms, but watching her interact with my son (4 months old) spikes my anxiety majorly and she’s suddenly way more annoying to me than she was before the baby. She lives about an hour away and I’d say we see her and FIL maybe once every 2 weeks. Some examples: MIL loves to barge into our house and try to take the baby from me immediately. I don’t think she’s ever actually asked if she can hold him, it’s usually “I’m going to steal him now” (one time she walked up to me while he was actively nursing and said TO THE BABY “Grandma’s going to burp you now so Mommy can get up”, no hello to me or anything-I just stared at her for a minute and told her I was going to nurse until he was finished), uses obnoxious baby talk in a weird voice, and always “answers” AS the baby if anyone says anything to him which drives me absolutely nuts. We also have a hard time getting her to surrender the baby back to one of us if he starts crying, because of course she knows exactly what’s wrong and can fix it. She is just hyper focused on him the entire time she’s around, to the point that she’s impossible to have a normal conversation with because she’s so busy following me around commenting on every tiny little movement or sound he makes. As someone with a VERY large personal space bubble, this is increasingly hard for me to put up with, and I’ve started going up to the bedroom to nurse or rock him to sleep using the excuse that the baby is too distracted by lights and sound right now because I’m tired of her hovering over me waiting for him to finish so she can try to scoop him up again.
This is her first grandchild and I’m glad she’s excited and loves him so much but she is just overwhelming and something about her audacity and lack of self awareness to how annoying she’s being puts me on the defensive and makes me dread seeing her. My husband has for the most part just let her get away with all of it. Whenever she asks to visit he’ll agree before consulting with me, which I try to be understanding of because it’s his mom but sometimes I’m just not in the mood to see people, even family. I’ve tried explaining to him how anxious her actions make me feel and his response has been that she’s always this annoying around babies (he has a big family with lots of younger cousins) and everyone just tries to ignore it. Which was not the most helpful response ever and had started causing some strain/resentment between us.
ANYWAY, MIL has started calling husband every few days to ask how the baby’s doing and asking when she can see him again. A few days ago they’re talking while baby is asleep on me and I hear him say “well I appreciate that, but please don’t just stop by. You need to text OP to make sure it’s a good day for a visit.” Apparently she had been planning to start “dropping in” on me the 1-2 days a week my husband goes into the office to “help out”(aka hog the baby and annoy me) and he actually stood up to her and told her she needs to ask first! AND THEN he told her we were planning to just have a chill day at home for my first Mother’s Day and could celebrate with her soon another time- in previous years the expectation has always been that all her kids come visit her all day on Mother’s Day (I did send a card and flowers so it’s not like we ignored her). This was 4 days ago and she hasn’t asked to see the baby since so she’s either realized we need some space or is super mad to be told no for once. Either way, I had a lovely peaceful Mother’s Day at home and got to snuggle my baby as much as I wanted, and I’m so thankful my husband has started to realize he needs to be the one to say “no”!

Welcome to /Psychotechnology!

Psychotechnology is an umbrella term describing the various traditions, practices, rituals, sciences, and tools that allow humans to improve their physical, psychological, and material well-being at both the individual and collective levels. This subreddit is dedicated to exploring these diverse approaches, fostering discussions, and sharing insights on how they contribute to our well-being.

What Counts as Psychotechnology?

Religion

Religions are organized systems of beliefs, rituals, and practices that often involve a commitment to a higher power or spiritual force. They provide moral frameworks, community support, and a sense of purpose. Examples include:

• Christianity: Based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, emphasizing love, forgiveness, and salvation.
• Islam: Founded on the revelations given to the Prophet Muhammad, focusing on submission to the will of Allah.
• Buddhism: A path of practice and spiritual development leading to insight into the true nature of reality, founded by Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha).
• Hinduism: A major religious and cultural tradition of South Asia, developed from Vedic religion, encompassing a variety of practices and beliefs in karma and dharma.
• Judaism: The monotheistic religion of the Jewish people, rooted in the Hebrew Bible and centered on the covenant between God and the Israelites.

Spiritual Traditions

Spiritual traditions encompass a wide range of beliefs and practices that focus on personal spiritual development outside the confines of organized religion. Examples include:

• Paganism: A group of contemporary religious movements influenced by or claiming to be derived from the various historical pagan beliefs of pre-modern Europe.
• Occultism: A category of esoteric beliefs and practices that involve the use of magical rituals, symbols, actions, gestures, and language.
• Druidry: A modern spiritual or religious movement that generally promotes harmony, connection, and reverence for the natural world.
• Wicca: A modern pagan, witchcraft religion that emphasizes the worship of nature and the practice of magic.

Psychological Sciences

Psychological sciences involve the systematic study of the mind and behavior, often employing empirical methods and therapeutic techniques to improve mental health. Examples include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A type of psychotherapy that helps individuals change negative thought patterns and behaviors.
• Mindfulness: The practice of purposely focusing attention on the present moment—and accepting it without judgment.
• Group Therapy: A form of psychotherapy that involves one or more therapists working with several people at the same time.

Exploring the Similarities

Despite their differences, religions, spiritual traditions, and psychological sciences share common goals and practices aimed at enhancing well-being. Here are some examples of specific practices within each category that might achieve similar benefits:

Meditation and Prayer

• Buddhist Meditation: Buddhist practices like Vipassana or Zen meditation focus on mindfulness and developing insight into the nature of reality.
• Christian Prayer: Engaging in prayer, whether communal or private, fosters a sense of connection with the divine and provides comfort and guidance.
• Mindfulness Meditation: In psychological sciences, mindfulness meditation helps individuals cultivate present-moment awareness and reduce stress.

Rituals and Ceremonies

• Hindu Rituals: Daily rituals such as puja involve offerings to deities and serve to reinforce religious devotion and community bonds.
• Wiccan Sabbats: Celebrating seasonal festivals, Wiccans honor nature cycles and engage in rituals that foster a sense of community and spiritual connection.
• Behavioral Activation: In CBT, establishing regular routines and engaging in enjoyable activities can enhance mood and overall well-being.

Ethical Guidelines and Moral Development

• Islamic Ethics: Following the Five Pillars of Islam provides a moral framework that guides behavior and fosters community cohesion.
• Pagan Ethical Codes: Many Pagan traditions follow ethical guidelines such as the Wiccan Rede, which advises against harming others.
• Values Clarification: In psychological sciences, helping individuals clarify their values can guide behavior and decision-making, promoting a sense of purpose and integrity.

Community and Support Networks

• Jewish Community Life: Participating in synagogue activities and Jewish festivals creates a strong sense of community and mutual support.
• Druid Gatherings: Modern Druidry often involves gatherings in nature, fostering a sense of belonging and connection to the natural world.
• Group Therapy: Provides a supportive environment where individuals can share experiences, gain insights, and build connections with others facing similar challenges.

Personal Growth and Self-Improvement

• Christian Confession: The practice of confession and seeking forgiveness can lead to personal growth and emotional relief.
• Occult Practices: Practices such as shadow work in occult traditions encourage deep self-reflection and personal transformation.
• Cognitive Restructuring in CBT: This technique involves identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, promoting mental resilience and personal development.

Why These Practices Matter

By examining these diverse practices through the lens of psychotechnology, we can appreciate the shared human endeavor to enhance well-being. Whether through religious devotion, spiritual exploration, or psychological techniques, these practices offer pathways to improved mental health, stronger communities, and a greater sense of purpose.

Key Benefits Across Practices

• Stress Reduction: Practices like meditation, prayer, and mindfulness help manage stress and promote relaxation.
• Emotional Support: Community activities in religious and spiritual traditions, as well as support groups in psychological practices, provide emotional and social support.
• Moral and Ethical Guidance: Ethical teachings in religions and spiritual traditions, and values clarification in psychology, help guide behavior and decision-making.
• Personal Insight: Reflective practices in all three domains foster self-awareness and personal growth.

By framing these diverse concepts as sharing a common goal—directly and indirectly enhancing one's personal psyche—this subreddit aims to provide a platform for exploring and discussing these varied approaches, both their merits and drawbacks. So please create discussion threads, share books/articles/videos/podcasts, and other resources! Feel free to ask for questions and advice, and share any personal stories you have!

Community Guidelines

To keep our community welcoming and productive, please adhere to the following guidelines:

• Respectful Dialogue: Respect differing opinions and experiences. Personal attacks or disrespectful comments will not be tolerated.
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• Confidentiality: Be mindful of sharing personal information and respect the privacy of others.

Welcome to /Psychotechnology!

As the title suggests, Its so hard for me to let everyone know how hard it is that not even "laksan mo ang katwiran o loob mo" or "laksan mo Sarili mo" would do well with resolving your own mental issues, its beyond my capabilities that even if I try to strengthen my faith or magpagaan ng sarili di pa rin nawawala lang kaagad ang mental disorder, why do people think its easy as a few motivational words can help it. I hope I got my point across thank you
Sidenote: I'm clinically diagnosed too