Crochet ear warmer pattern

So I live him, but I'm not there while I'm in the process of moving out. He has a pattern of "joking" with me but the joke is yelling nonsense at me, giving me frights on purpose (high startle reflex), hitting me lightly, and putting strong smelling things like Kimchi in my face even when I've said to stop because I have a sensory processing disorder and smells are extremely intense for me.
I've continually objected to these jokes saying "Stop! Stop yelling at me! Stop hitting me!" But they continued and he said, "oh diddums" when I started getting very upset. He would sneak up and start yelling in my ear then hit me lightly when I would firmly and loudly tell him to stop. He hit me with a sock and said, "oh it's barely abuse." After I again said, "I have told you to not hit me or touch me! I hate it!"
I sent a very clear message detailing that those aren't jokes to me because they cause me distress and he needs to stop. I explained I am getting severe anxiety around him and am uncomfortable alone with him due to the fact he doesn't stop when I say stop.
He said he didn't understand my perspective as he is joking. I reiterated that it distresses me, and it needs to stop. It's not a joke when one person is objecting to it, and his comment of, "oh its barely abuse," implies he knows that it is harmful to me.
He stopped for about two weeks then had a "talk" to me about how he found my message annoying. That he treats everyone the same, and he treats other people a lot worse. I again reiterated that it is not okay to yell and hit me as a joke as it is distressing, and I thanked him for respecting my boundaries about it. He was standing over me with his hands on his hips and eyes narrowed during this conversation and he picked up a 2 litre bottle of juice and shook it in my face as though he was going to smash me in the face with it, enough that I flinched.
The other night he put bottles in the recycling at 2am right outside my window where I was sleeping and made loud noises repeatedly and woke me up. He was aware of how burnt out I had been from a week of migraines. I messaged, "Why are you being loud outside at 2am?" He said he was drinking and that I have ear plugs.
The next morning I said how upsetting it was to be woken at 2am when he knows how exhausted I am. He looked smug while dismissing me. He said he wanted to have a face to face chat like he's a person rather than me messaging my grievances. I said I wasn't comfortable and cited his intimidating behaviour and threatening to hit me with a bottle of juice as the reason. He said, "fuck off" in a disgusted tone. He said I have no empathy for him and what he's going through and that I'm entitled. I asked what he's going through and he said, "life." I asked if this is because I told him to not yell at me or hit me. He just kept repeating I have no empathy for his wellbeing and that my behavior and comments are offensive and hurtful to him. That it's distressing to him that I think he's abusive. I never called him that. I just told him he can't yell at me or hit me or joke with me if the joke is my distress. That it feels like he wants to get his amusement at my expense and I'm not okay with that. I said even light hits feel as distressing as being hit hard. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and my body is often tender and light hits are still painful. He scoffed and refused to accept that hitting my lightly could cause me significant distress.
I packed and left and am in the process of moving and he's sent another message about wanting to have an open and honest conversation with me.
He said I've made the environment unsafe and he's trapped and exploited. I'm confused about that because hes the one that wants to hit me for fun and used intimidating and threatening behaviour when I didnt roll back my boundaries. He is adamant that my comments and behaviour is distressing and unfair to him but I don't understand why he is so insistent on joking with me in a manner that he knows upsets me.
I'm holding my boundaries and being clear and direct. I'm feeling gross and weird and want reassurance that I'm not an asshole for not wanting to be yelled at or hit or put in distress for his amusement. I know logically I'm not but it's hard to not feel weird and uncertain after his manipulative talks and guilt tripping.
Thank you for reading this.

Hi guys, I started crochet a little while ago and fell in love with it, I've been addicted to stuffy kits for a while but I want to try something fun before something useful.
There's an Amigurumi snake tutorial on youtube, and I want to use it as a guide since I cant find what I'm looking for online sadly, I'm thinking perhaps if I use a giant crochet hook with that Really Thick chunky yarn I could pull it off, idk what do you guys think?
Here's the link to a snake kit that's similar to the pattern on youtube:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/DIY-Hand-Knitting-Stuffed-Toy-Set-Crochet-Your-Own-Cute-Snake-Doll-with-Premium-Cotton-Yarn-Perfect-Sewing-Craft-for-Beginners-and-Craft-Lovers/154798924?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101083587
Here is the crochet hook and yarn I had in mind:
https://www.amazon.com/HOOYee-Crochet-Needles-Chunky-Weaving/dp/B0BFVSYNWC?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A3914XT1YEBPCI
https://www.amazon.com/Moon-Waves-Knitting-Crochet-Blanket/dp/B0B2RYQH3W/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?crid=1WDP932JWC9AJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ikd6NGYxr-aTGSKjDi6FzhgxCHGQ1EHmvU5aAd_pk4f_AdYBcfxTHmKDojpu_3fuhD5hhFGRxMTQTSjvTQZWGCqIB1hfB4FF0Uabn0q_4ao0LeLHRW0t3wgVBzYhG5v6c7nJh5VOc0qkBHSwaoPZkpWGP6wvzq3_lLwaYnXHDG6d1jPnw6pUUFQUtJq1XK2vEStqYyO5U6ZDUWZEkKROvQ.BnpFqdS4XHILapmRgGHlLAmxIZKLUKAPP29d6AqHtVA&dib_tag=se&keywords=chunky+crochet+yarn&qid=1715823947&sprefix=chunky+crochet%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1
Do you guys think it's feasible? Thank you in advance to whomever repliest basket" yarn I could pull it off, idk what do you guys think?

ello lads been doing more running lately and thinking about getting some TWS to accompany me :D
I'd prefer the sound be on the warmer side but if you think something'll sound good just recommend it cause I'll probably still find a playlist to enjoy it with.
Some more info:
•by around $100, I meant 60-120ish USD so yeah I'm value hunting here ^{\v^}
•with decent water resistance hopefully cause i live in an oven country
•hopefully stays in ear well so it's actually useful for running
•not too concerned about features like ANC or transparency but if it's there that's fine
TYIA!

I was going to say "acting" but living is more appropriate. She spent dinner stewing and refusing to eat because she "doesn't eat (meal she cooked under her own free will)" and getting clearly more passive-aggressive with my other parent for trying to see if she's okay and asking if she ate (read: she wants us to beg her to eat and then won't anyway). After that she stomped off until she had a cigarette.
It's always this. She just can't handle being any amount of stressed without the whole world knowing, and then when we do 90% of the time she won't let us help because then she won't have a problem. Comparing her to a toddler is too much for her.
She doesn't bathe, she doesn't work, she doesn't learn the app that she has to get the job she *did* get, everyone's out to get her but she won't make friends, her back hurts but she won't do shit to help it, her breathing sucks but she won't quit smoking (note: I realize that's hard, but frustrations aside, she's quit before! For years!), the HR lady was rude (sure Jan), she won't clean most of the house, she'll martyr herself over cooking things she doesn't want to eat and then won't cook anything that tastes because she doesn't want to do the effort, she won't learn *how* to cook, she won't learn new skills from the millions of hours we spend reading or watching cooking advice, she won't even learn how to crochet things she wants to because reading patterns is to hard. My sympathy is out.
God help you if you call her out on a lie. Some base need is met when she doubles down on not eating tacos despite her eating them before. I guess if you just repeat a lie and get people to stop calling you out on it the world's a better place. Fuck me.

So I live him, but I'm not there while I'm in the process of moving out. He has a pattern of "joking" with me but the joke is yelling nonsense at me, giving me frights on purpose (high startle reflex), hitting me lightly, and putting strong smelling things like Kimchi in my face even when I've said to stop because I have a sensory processing disorder and smells are extremely intense for me.
I've continually objected to these jokes saying "stop! Stop yelling at me! Stop hitting me!" But they continued and he said, "oh diddums" when I started getting very upset. He would sneak up and start yelling in my ear then hit me lightly when I would firmly and loudly tell him to stop. He hit me with a sock and said, "oh it's barely abuse." After I again said, "I have told you to not hit me or touch me! I hate it!"
I sent a very clear message detailing that those aren't jokes to be because they cause me distress and he needs to stop. I explained I am getting severe anxiety around him and am uncomfortable alone with him due to the fact he doesn't stop when I say stop.
He said he didn't understand my perspective as he is joking. I reiterated that it distresses me and it needs to stop. It's not a joke when one person is objecting to it and his comment of, "oh its barely abuse," implies he knows that it is harmful to me.
He stopped for about two weeks then had a "talk" to me about how he found my message annoying. That he treats everyone the same and he treats other people a lot worse. I again reiterated that it is not okay to yell and hit me as a joke as it is distressing and I thanked him for respecting my boundaries about it. He was standing over me with his hands on his hips and eyes narrowed during this conversation and he picked up a 2 litre bottle of juice and shook it in my face as though he was going to smash me in the face with it, enough that I flinched.
The other night he put bottles in the recycling at 2am right outside my window where I was sleeping and made loud noises repeatedly and woke me up. He was aware of how burnt out I had been from a week of migraines. I messaged, "Why are you being loud outside at 2am?" He said he was drinking and that I have ear plugs.
The next morning I said how upsetting it was to be woken at 2am when he knows how exhausted I am. He looked smug while dismissing me. He said he wanted to have a face to face chat like he's a person rather than me messaging my grievances. I said I wasn't comfortable and cited his intimidating behaviour and threatening to hit me with a bottle of juice as the reason. He said, "fuck off" in a disgusted tone. He said I have no empathy for him and what he's going through and that I'm entitled. I asked what he's going through and he said, "life." I asked if this is because I told him to not yell at me or hit me. He just kept repeating I have no empathy for his wellbeing and that my behavior and comments are offensive and hurtful to him. That it's distressing to him that I think he's abusive. I never called him that. I just told him he can't yell at me or hit me or joke with me if the joke is my distress. That it feels like he wants to get his amusement at my expense and I'm not okay with that. I said even light hits feel as distressing as being hit hard. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and my body is often tender and light hits are still painful. He scoffed and refused to accept that hitting my lightly could cause me significant distress.
I packed and left and am in the process of moving and he's sent another message about wanting to have an open and honest conversation with me.
He said I've made the environment unsafe and he's trapped and exploited. I'm confused about that because hes the one that wants to hit me for fun and used intimidating and threatening behaviour when I didnt roll back my boundaries. He is adamant that my comments and behaviour is distressing him but I don't understand why he is so insistent on joking with me in a manner that he knows upsets me.
I'm holding my boundaries and being clear and direct. I'm feeling gross and weird and want reassurance that I'm not an asshole for not wanting to be yelled at or hit or put in distress for his amusement.

Anytime I successfully clear a patch with my steroid cream, it just forms somewhere new immediately while the old patch comes back as soon as I stop treating the old area. It makes me not want to treat my psoriasis at all because this has been a consistent pattern over the last 10 years.
I compare it frequently to tremors -- if you stop tremors in your hands, it'll move to your legs or vice versa.
I went from just scalp psoriasis, to inside of my ears, to the corners of my eyes, to my elbows, then my torso, and now almost all of my back. It only progresses further every time I use the steroid cream on one area. If I don't use it at all, it won't progress OR regress....
Is this just observation bias, or something common? I feel crazy. I can't see a dermatologist until September due to heavy booking. ):

Things to consider before reading , the red logo stands for Gamestop and he showed the name of every song on purpose so you can go and read the lyrics.Everything he did is calculated.
First video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526 he informs us red clothes and bleeding = the stock will bleed today
2 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790713748866371690 the red logo on her dress is the Gamestop logo = red day incoming , SONG lyrics : Right now, down, down, down
3 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790717515523658119 Again u can see the red Gamestop logo on his shirt while he is getting electrocuted, "you want to be fooled"=They will try to fool you to sell ,the words " IM BACK" in red = the stock will bleed but also "IN THE SADDLE AGAIN" is green = with burden (buying while stock is red) you will get $ because green =money
4 video: https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790721293089964126 at the end you can see the Gamestop logo again and it says under "HOLD PATTERN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE" this one is self explanatory lol
5 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790725065585439065 look at some of the lyrics of this song : "Singing we're here to keep your prices down" , "You made a pig's ear, you made a mistake", "You got away with it but we lie in wait" , "you're fast to lose, you will lose" ,
6 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790728848226521547 "Youre not actually going IN to an asteroid field?" = go IN , thats why he used CAPS , again look at the lyrics of the song : "Run along now don't be glum" , "Don't be long for the end is nigh" = nigh means almost/at or to a short distance away , "Don't let moments pass along And waste before your eyes" = dont miss the moment to buy , "Come with me and the slithy toves".The asteroids that hit the spaceship on the way are the burdens before you hit the goal.
7 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790732615022195139 "bitch" captions u can see red and green flag , i guess he means dont be a bitch, stocks go red and green ,they are not always green and he used RED captions for "think its a game" which probably means that the stock going red today is just a game.
8 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790736391124774975 some of the lyrics : " What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play." , "I think I'm first but surely finish last, last."
9 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790740164848861227 lyrics " I wanna send a message to them,Teach em a lesson quickly,Publicly addressing me, disrespecting me heavily They better be lucky the way my blessings effected me"
10 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790743946764644659 start of video you can see the gamestop logo in his hand and after MR DFV says " please return your seatbacks to their full upright and locked position" = return to the game and lock in.The conversation between them , The narrator represents : The real Roaring Kitty who holds his position and does not sell and Tyler represent the person who people yesterday thought he was and in this case a person who sold his stocks.The narrator ( Roaring Kitty) asks why do people think i am you (the person who sold his stocks) and you can see for a second a guy with red shirt besides The Narrator ( Roaring Kitty ) which represent the bleeding stock.Basically ppl think he is the person who sold because its a red day.Tyler says "why would ppl confuse you with me " and then it comes scene where the guy burns his hand and on his hand you can see the Gamestop logo.After this scene he says " because we are the same person" in pink captions which probably means that he is burning like everyone right now." I invest " with green because he is invested but also "deep fuck" with red because he gets fucked aswell."I am free" in orange i guess he could mean u could be financially free if you play it right."Kittys not here , kitty went away , kittys gone" he used red captions because ppl thought he left because the stock dropped hard but the captions after are " THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE" . "IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST NIGHT AT GME FIGHT CLUB" with red captions because its not the first time GME is that red , "you have to defend the bear thesis" defend = dont sell / buy to defend against the bears you can also see the cat against them. LOOK AT THOSE CAPTIONS BTW " you ARE INsane" he used CAPS for "ARE IN" and left the rest without caps.He is basically telling ppl to go in.You can see the Gamestop logo again before the end and the captions say " the movie goes on ".
I will continue tomorrow.

Hello mold subreddit. First time reddit poster here. Thank you in advance for any insight you can offer to my case. In what follows, I'm going to first describe the health journey that led to my mold discoveries and questions, so please bear with me through the health stuff. I have included excessive detail in the hopes that my case might help others navigate possible mold problems.
If you don't feel like reading all the below, the tl:dr version: After struggling with unknown health issues for 15 months, I eventually linked my symptoms to my new home and subsequently discovered very high volatile organic chemical levels. I linked the VOCs to mold. I also had a mold inspection done, and the results are at the bottom of this post. The levels of mold were high in my kitchen and bathroom. However, oddly, the mold levels in the outside control group were much higher than inside. Can anyone help me understand how high my indoor mold levels are? Does anyone know whether the outdoor levels are reasonably normal? Is my specific blend of mold types implicated in neurological symptoms for others? And if anyone has dealt with mold before, do my possible mold symptoms described below seem similar to ones that you've had?
I bought my townhome in late 2022. Within four months, I started having new neurological symptoms. These symptoms started with a postural tremor in my left index finger and thumb. The same hand eventually began to appear smaller and shriveled, especially around my thumb. I also started having extremely frequent muscle twitches and jerks. These twitches take three general forms:

1. The most common is an odd sensation of something wiggling under my skin. These primarily happen in my face, around my mouth, my butt/legs, and ribs.
2. A pulsing regular beat in a muscle that lasts for several seconds and in some cases longer. These usually happen near joints, especially just above my elbows and knees. These are almost always visible to the naked eye.
3. A sensation of rapid vibrating underneath the skin that lasts briefly. These vibrations are usually not visible but you can feel them if you press a hand over the area.

The twitches and apparent change to my hand have lasted for 16 months. At this point, the tissue loss in my thumb is also apparent in my forearm and upper left arm. My leg on the same side arm appears different and feels as if it has lost some muscle. I also have frequent trembling with specific muscles when I flex them. For example, sometimes when I try to hold a smile my face muscles will shake or give out. My neck tissues are especially liable to shake and vibrate when flexed, such as when doing tasks like flossing where I need to hold my lips back. On a few separate occasions, I have felt slight paralysis on one side of my face for an evening or so that then mysteriously goes away.
Aside from these neurological symptoms, I also have had frequent hoarseness, sneezing, jaw pain, and headaches. My joints often feel like they are more bony and poppy, especially in my left knee and knuckles. In addition, I've had a lot of issues with one ear on the same side as the shriveled hand. The ear had an apparent infection or cloudiness 12 months ago that went away, it then had recurrent pulsatile tinnitus, and now it just occasionally hurts at random times. There have been many other symptoms.
I have seen two neurologists, an endocrinologist, an ear-nose-throat doctor, and an orthopedic doctor. I've had countless tests done including two electromyographies (EMGs) over my whole body several months apart, an MRI, and a lyme disease blood panel. Every test has been normal, although the orthopedic doctor suggested possible thoracic outlet syndrome. The neurologist said my nerves are quite robust. My borrelia blood panel came back negative, although as a side note I did have a tick bite in early 2022 that caused a rash. I was treated for Lyme with 10 days of doxycycline. The tick bite itself still occasionally flares up red and its timing might be correlated with my symptoms.
Back to the house-- I was on a two week vacation out of state and noticed my twitches go away. Then I saw my arm become more normal sized again and the veins start to come back. I didn't feel the same joint issues, had no hoarseness, lost the headaches. All the symptoms came back as soon as I returned home, but nevertheless after that vacation and subsequent extended trips, I was able to conclude with a reasonable level of confidence that these symptoms are linked to the house. I bought an air filter and an air quality monitor that shows volatile organic chemicals, PM, formaldehyde, and C02.
Using the air quality monitor, I discovered that volatile organic chemicals (VOCs) and formaldehyde were usually abnormally high and sometimes extremely high. VOCs are usually above safety thresholds at >0.5 mg/m3 and formaldehyde >0.1 mg/m3. Sometimes, the VOC levels will stay consistently above 1.8mg/m3. I witnessed them reach a peak level of 5mg/3 in one bedroom late at night when I was woken up by a feeling of shortness of breath. I tried but failed to correlate these high VOCs to electronics, chemical sources in the home, cooking sources, heaters, and cleaning supplies. The way the VOCs would spike all over the house for no apparent reason in the evening helped me rule out some of these other possibilities. I also actively removed other sources.
Eventually, I realized that the VOCs were likely caused by mold, so-called microbial VOCs. The formaldehyde could also be explained by mold. The levels of VOCs would spike on rainy days, when the humidity was high inside, and in the evening. I don't think any other chemical source near the house would display this pattern. It took me a while to reach this conclusion because the mold issue in my house isn't too obvious. The house has always had a slight musty smell, especially if the air is stagnant for a while. The bathroom also has recurring mold growth on a tiles, in the shower, and on the various shower liners. A couple cabinets in the kitchen have always smelled musty. I didn't think these obvious signs of mold growth were that big of a deal, but given the extremely high levels of VOCs I now believe the mold has always been the issue.
Once I realized it was likely mold, I started noticing all the signs. The house is about 100 years old. The prior two owners of this house each moved out within five months. The house is not ventilated except from windows. It sits in a damp area near where water puddles up in the yard. It's mostly solid brick, so the house frame has a way of trapping hot air and releasing a lot of moisture onto the floors each evening. There's also a cheap layer of vinyl flooring throughout that could easily cover up a massive mold problem underneath. Finally, the townhome sits on top of an old shared crawl space that was used as a furnace. It has had known water puddling issues for which reason a vapor guard was installed underneath my first floor.
So, I had a mold inspection done. The results are at the bottom of this post. The bathroom results might be diluted because I left the window open the night before. Nevertheless, both my kitchen and bathroom had mold detected at levels between 6480 - 12,300 spores/m3. Oddly, the outdoor levels of all of the molds were often much higher, 3-6 fold higher than the levels indoors. It was a humid day, but it still seems odd for me that an outdoor space could have higher levels than indoors.
On later reading about my specific mold spores and neurological symptoms, I noticed that the two most elevated groups of spores in my house, ascospores and basidiospores, are the same class as all of the funguses known to have colonized the nervous system of ALS patients according to this published article. Those specific types of fungus found in the nerves of ALS patients are Candida, Malassezia, Fusarium, Botrytis, Trichoderma, and Cryptococcus. It naturally led me to wonder if my chronic als-type neurological symptoms could be caused by some latent fungal infection in my body that gradually improves when I'm away from the home.
Wrapping up this thread, I have a bunch of questions.

• Does anyone have the same kinds of molds (see below) in their home and have the ability to speak to how problematic my levels are from their own experience?
• Why would the outdoor control be so high? I do compost and garden, but all of the compost is buried underground.
• Is my specific blend of mold types implicated in neurological symptoms?
• Do my symptoms seem similar to mold-related symptoms that you might have had? I'm trying to figure out if mold is a likely culprit or if I should keep seeking help for possible tickborne illness or other issues.
• Should my mold levels be a cause to stay away from this house as much as possible? Should I ever return?
• Do I need to throw away all my belongings like books clothes and sheets?
• Would a very high quality HEPA air purifier make any difference?
• Is there some kind of public health representative that could help me navigate this or a type of mold doctor who could help me investigate the causes of my symptoms and seek the right kinds of medication?
• Do you have any other advice for someone in my situation?

My mold inspection results

Does anyone know where I can find crochet-themed cross stitch patterns? as in a pattern for cross stitch that's of like a ball of wool/yarn and a hook, etc
I've found a few patterns to do with wool, but they're knitting related rather than crochet related (having knitting needles instead of crochet hooks, and has text in relation to knitting, which doesn't necessarily apply to crochet)
Can anyone please help point me in the correct direction in terms of being more specific in finding patterns?

Credit to Blue for the wonderful cover art of Trilvri
Thank you to:
u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the Nature of Predators universe.
u/EdibleGojid, author of Dark Cuts, for proofreading.
EmClear, aspiring author, for proofreading
You, the reader, for your support. I love reading your comments.
Please consider reading the works of my proofreaders as they’re all authors of excellent stories and be sure to check the links below for more of my work and beautiful art from members of the community.
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Memory transcription subject: Sawvek, Junior Extermination Officer
Date [standardised human time]: October 5th, 2136
Hard foam presses uncomfortably up against delicate pressure points situated across the length of my entire body, building up to an unbearable ache that makes me shift and turn against the thin mattress pad. I yank at the rough old blanket I’d taken out of storage and clutch it even tighter around my body, trying to keep out the chill. The best racks, the ones near the heating vents, had already been claimed long before I’d decided to move into the Guild House’s Barracks and it doesn’t seem likely that the current occupants will be giving up their spots any time soon.
My mind is still racing from the events of last paw, replaying the scene over and over again in my dreams and in my head. The way my brother had looked at me… That look on his face when he’d seen the real me…
My paw gives a sympathetic throb in memory, still aching from where it had met the wall, but at least I had been able to wrap it up a bit and stop the bleeding. I feel like I should take it as a small miracle that it isn't broken. More medical bills are the last thing I need right now.
I turn about in the bunk once more, rolling around in vain to try and find a comfortable position that doesn’t seem to exist. Through a conscious act of will I try to empty my mind and sleep, but the very act of trying not to think about things only brings them bubbling back up to the surface of my thoughts. My heartbeat echoes in my ears, a damnable drumming sound brought about by the exertion of my own restless tossing and turning. Out in the hallway I can hear the muffled shuffling of feet and murmurs of conversation. The Guild Hall never sleeps, and it seems that neither would I this paw.
Electing to abandon the attempt as hopeless, I cut my rest claw short and get up, venturing out into the hallway. If I can’t sleep anyway then I might as well start my waking claw early, maybe get in a little exercise. It’s not so bad when it’s self-directed, almost fun in a way. If our family had the money to support it then maybe I could have been an athlete of some variety growing up. I had always possessed something of a natural physicality.
“Stop wasting time with worthless questions about what could have been, Killer.” The voice interjects, early and active today by the sound of it. “You’ll never amount to anything more than a wild predator kept on a leash.”
There’s nothing to do but sigh and carry on. It was right after all. This is it. This is my life now.
Making my way down the hallway towards the gym I find myself walking past a row of private offices assigned to some of the more veteran officers on staff. Most are empty at this claw, their occupants either asleep or off doing other work. One room in particular catches my attention though, the one belonging to our newest PRED Team Commander.
The door leading inside is open and ajar, seemingly forgotten in the midst of more pressing business and granting me a look inside. The entire room is a mess, papers and binders strewn about everywhere with official looking documents littering the floor. A map of the city decorates the otherwise unadorned and impersonal space. On its face it hosts a variety of multicoloured pins, all connecting seemingly arbitrary locations as well as photographs of people and places from the records department. The face of the former PRED Team Commander, Vrienna, looks out at me once again with the same cruel eyes that decorate the memorial wall. Beside her photo are another pair of eyes, a pair I recognise, but not one I would have expected to see here.
Trilvri, my brother’s creepy coworker, the one who’d brought him home the night he’d drunk himself into a stupor, stares out at me from the wall. He was younger in this photo, barely of age, if even that, and dressed in a regulation space corps flight suit, but I could still recognise him. Trilvri’s eyes appear somehow more lively than when I had met him in person, though it does nothing to improve his overall disposition, looking, as they are, as if behind them resides only hatred and a feral desire to kill and rend. Come to think of it, he had mentioned he used to be in the corps hadn’t he? ‘Used to’ being the operative word. When I’d asked he hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his time in the service…
Situated as he is next to Vrienna like that, their pitch-black wool and evil-looking eyes bear a striking resemblance. It was the exact same sort of predatory expression that bore into your soul, the kind that made me feel weak and exposed, the same kind that was worn by-
“What do you think you’re doing in my office?” A voice asks from behind, nonplussed, but with a casual depth of power and authority behind it that makes me freeze on the spot.
“Commander Glagrig, Sir!” I turn about on the spot, fixed at attention in the doorway as I stare up at the man himself. “I’m sorry to intrude. I noticed someone had forgotten to close the door so I was just going to secure it.”
“I see.” Glagrig doesn’t seem to believe a word of it, but neither does he seem inclined to press the issue. “At ease. Tell me, do you recognise the man in the photo there? Have you ever seen him before?”
“No, Commander.” I lie reflexively as I shift to a parade rest, not fully knowing why, but knowing that whatever is going on I want no part of it, for me or my brother. It’s only after the fact that it occurs to me that lying might be worse than telling the truth.
“How… regrettable.” The prestige officer says plainly and I can’t tell whether he believes me or not. “If you do ever catch sight of this individual, then be sure to let me know immediately.”
“Y-Yes, Commander.” I subconsciously swallow with apprehension, hoping that he doesn’t notice. I want nothing more than to run away as quickly as I can, but I haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Junior Officer Sawvek, was it?” Glagrig carries on, looking me up and down, dissecting me with his eyes. “You have quite the interesting record on file and Officer Intalran is quite adamant about your potential. Your simulator results speak for themselves, even if they are just simulations.”
“Thank you, Commander.” I can feel myself growing dizzy as I answer with uncertainty.
“Don’t thank me,” the all-consuming void in front of me replies with no hint of warmth, “just remember that your performance is under evaluation. It’s in my interests to keep note of promising young aspirants who might someday join my team, and I would hate to see you squander your talents.”
“I-I understand, Commander.” I flick my tail in agreement, straining not to look away towards the floor.
“Dismissed.” Glagrig brushes past me as he enters his office, moving to shut the door behind himself.
“Um, Commander?” I ask just before the door shuts, feeling a beckoning call of curiosity that even the predatory prestige exterminator couldn’t crush. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why do you have all that stuff up on the wall there?”
The door opens again, just a crack, and I can feel my superiors' weighty presence bearing down on me, almost suffocating in its intensity. “It’s simply a personal matter. I have reason to believe that the prior investigation regarding the kelach incident was conducted according to… insufficient standards. The predator responsible was never found and I intend to remedy that deficiency.”
“How hard could it be to find a kelach?” I tilt my ears in confusion. “They're huge!”
“Despite initial reports,” he answers with an ominous, cold tone that sends a chill up my spine, “it may be possible that we're dealing with something far more dangerous than just a kelach.”
“T-Thank you, Commander.” I flick my tail in appreciation and the door closes.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the malevolent aura recedes. That was too close.
“And you’re a complete moron going back to ask him more questions afterwards, Killer.” The voice rises with amusement. “What? Do you want him to figure you out and turn you to cinders? Only a matter of time, Killer.”
“Ugh, shut up.” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning back around to make sure Commander Glagrig didn’t hear me, but when no reprisal comes I quickly depart. If I’m gonna be stupid I should at least try not to do so right in front of his office.
As the imminent threat of our in-house prestige exterminator dwindles so too does the energy driven by the adrenaline of the encounter. It figures that the moment I roll out of bed I want to take a nap again, but I know the moment I lie back down I’ll be back to full wakefulness in an instant. That’s just how that sort of thing works. With that in mind there’s really only one solution, a big, steaming hot cup of tea.
Making my way towards the tea machine I spot Jonsco, the feisty little primitive that mans our dispatch centre, smacking the top of the dispenser with a clenched paw while holding a mug underneath it.
“Is the tea machine fixed?” I ask as I pull out a mug from the cabinet myself.
Jonsco sighs heavily and shoots me a combative glare. “For the last time it’s not my brahking job to fix this damn tea machine! You got a problem with that then you can go pester someone else about it!”
I shrink back under the harsh rebuke. Jonsco may be small, but there was as much rage and fury condensed into that little package as anyone else in this department. Maybe more.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply…I just wanted to know if it was working again or not… Sorry.” I sputter out, feeling properly admonished as I look away towards the ground.
Jonsco looks at me quizzically, his hard glare softening somewhat as he seems to truly see me for the first time before returning to his usual scowl.
“Right…Whatever you say…” With one final smack the machine coughs and chokes, sputtering to life with a struggle, and a small trickle of freshly brewed tea begins to fill Jonsco’s cup. “The machine is on the fritz again as usual, but if you hit it just right, do a little percussive maintenance, then you can get it started again.”
“Thanks, Jonsco.” I lean back against the wall and watch as the mug slowly fills, impressed by the primitives know-how. “That's actually pretty smart of you.”
“For a ‘primitive’ right?” The words are barbed and spiteful, but lack his typical enthusiasm, more of a simple statement of fact than a real question. I couldn't exactly deny it, those had been my thoughts, and so the silence drags on awkwardly, marked only by the splash of tea falling into the steadily rising pool.
“What are you doing here at this claw anyway?” I eventually ask, dodging the question entirely. “We’ve still got at least another half-claw until our crew's shift is supposed to start.”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” The angry little dispatch operator retorts. “I'm here early working an overtime shift so I can afford to put food on my family's table. It's expensive feeding that many mouths. What's your excuse?”
“I had a fight with my brother…” I rub the back of my neck as I turn away abashedly, “moved out of the apartment and into the barracks full time… couldn't sleep…”
“Well then you should hurry up and work on patching things up with him.” Jonsco looks at me with an uncharacteristic hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Your family are the only ones who might actually care. This Gods-damned place is a slyther’s nest and no one here gives a speh about you or your problems. If you want my advice, you should do your best to spend as little time in this cesspool as possible.”
With his cup now full, Jobsco steps back from the machine and begins walking out towards the main hall.
“Thanks, Jonsco.” My words stop him in his tracks as he walks away from me. “I appreciate it.”
“... You're welcome.” He says after a short pause, glancing back to look at me one more time before leaving. “See you around, Sawvek.”
Taking advantage of the tea machine while it’s still mostly working, I fill up my own cup and drink deeply of the warm, fragrant beverage. The taste is bitter and unpleasant, just about the quality I would expect of this Guild Hall, but even at the first taste it’s evident that it’s been loaded with an extra strength dose of caffeine. I down the drink quickly and rinse out the cup before continuing on my journey towards the training hall. Fatigue begins to fall away as I walk, bit by bit as the drug makes its way into my bloodstream, blocking off sleep receptors and energising me. I know I’ll probably pay for it later, no amount of caffeine can actually replace sleep, but for now it feels good and I can see how some people can get addicted to the stuff.
A loud, metallic clanging emanates from the gym as I approach, something unexpected for this time of paw. No one's reserved space in the gym for this claw and not many people are industrious enough to sweat on their own initiative. Peeking my head inside the door I spy Bikim, the perfect, privileged, ‘holier than thou’ brahkass occupying the otherwise empty weight room. His irritatingly handsome face is taut with strain as he performs a series of weighted squats, his back and leg muscles straining underneath his short-cropped wool, and he pants heavily under the exertion.
I’m half tempted just to leave and go back to bed despite the fact that there’s no way I’d be getting any sleep with the tea running through my system. It’s too early in the paw to deal with Bikim’s speh. Before I can slip away unnoticed though, he spots me. I give a heavy sigh and continue my way inside. There's nothing to be done for it now. Trying to back out now would only make things worse later, a sign of weakness.
“What… Do you want… Predator?” Bikim asks between gulps of air as he reracks his weights, practically hanging off the bar to support himself on shaky legs.
“Good paw to you too, Bikim.” I say, forcing civility into my tone. “I’m here to use the equipment. Same as you. I'm allowed.”
“Whatever…” He eyes me with suspicion. “Just keep your distance… I don't want to catch any of your taint.”
“Believe me,” I flick my tail out in irritation, “I intend to.”
Looking around the room for available spots, I march my way over towards a cable machine on the opposite side of the room. Not nearly as far from Bikim as I would like, but the farthest I can get without leaving the weight area entirely. Bikim watches me all the while as I seat myself down and begin adjusting the machine. Eventually he grows tired of watching me fumble around with the machine and returns to his own exercises with a displeased flick of the tail, quite obviously judging me for my lack of experience with the equipment.
A tense sort of quiet settles over the room as we each go about our business, trying our best to ignore one another. Bikim slowly winds his way around the room, cycling from station to station to exercise all the different parts of his body in sequence before repeating it all again. He seems to bypass my corner of the room, glancing over at me with each repetition of his pattern. For myself, I stay put where I am, taking advantage of the varied exercises offered by the versatile machine to experiment with different muscle groups. Occasionally I slip up, dropping the weights with a loud clang that always draws Bikim’s ire. Every time he seems just a bit more disgruntled, a bit less patient. Eventually, the constant disruption reaches a tipping point and the pompous, self-entitled jerk walks over to confront me.
“Do you always do this?” He asks rhetorically. “If you keep slamming the weights like that you're gonna break it. Your form is speh so either fix it or lower the weight so you don't have to keep compensating. Better yet, just leave. You’ve been monopolising the cable machine for almost half a claw now. I don't know why you're even here in the first place.”
“Oh, look at Mr. Know-it-all thinking he can just go around telling us what to do, eh Killer?” The voice rises to the challenge. “Where does a guy like that who's been handed everything his whole life think he can get off with telling us how we should be doing anything?”
“Brahk off Bikim!” I don't even try to reign in the predator inside, feeling justified in letting it roam free for once. “I didn't ask for your advice and you don't get to kick me out of the weight room just because you can't wait your turn! I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go! Ever since Intalran dragged me into this stupid Guild this brahking job has taken over my entire life! I don't even have a home to go back to anymore!”
Bikim's body tenses at my tirade and his tail flicks out aggressively like a whip.
“That's your own damn fault, predator!” He shouts back, eager for the excuse to vent his own frustrations. “Maybe if you weren't just some blood-starved beast out roaming the streets then you wouldn't be here right now! I’ve read your file! You got a history of herdless behaviour and physical altercations! Someone should have institutionalised you a long time ago, but someone took pity on you and let you slip through the cracks because of your poor dying mommy! They should have known it would come back to bite them! A normal, functional member of the herd wouldn't even think to pick a flamer up off the ground and burn another person to death with it! But you? You did it instinctively! You revelled in it!”
“You think that was easy for me!” I get up and walk towards him as I yell incredulously. “You think I asked for that to happen! You think it was fun for me to get choked out and almost eaten! That thing I burned wasn't even a person anymore! It was a predator in the middle of a feeding frenzy! So yeah, I did what I did, and you know what? It's a good thing I did! If I wasn't a freak of nature then that thing would have kept on going and kept on killing! Last I checked, preventing that sorta thing was supposed to be your job, but I had to be the one to step up! Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions every paw, knowing that I’m a Protector-damned killer that doesn't belong anywhere! Maybe you, in your infinite wisdom, would've known the perfect thing to do in that situation, but I’m not you! I’ve had to work and struggle for every little thing I have! Not just had it handed to me on a silver platter!”
“Oh, so you got me all figured out do you?” Sarcasm drips from Bikim's mouth as he looks down on me. “You don't know me. You don't know my life or what I’ve been through, how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. You just see the end product from cycles of effort and assume that it's always been that way, that it's always been that easy. It hasn't.”
“Yes, I’m sure you had it so hard growing up Bikim.” Saying it aloud almost makes me laugh. “You’re such a child of privilege that it drips off of you with every move you make and every word you say. I hate people like you, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you were lucky enough to be born into wealth and status. Try living like the other side for a change, scrounging for every credit just so you can afford to eat, and then try to tell me how hard you had it with a full belly and a warm home!”
“You’re right, predator,” Bikim says contemptuously, “I am a child of privilege. My family has a long and decorated military tradition, my father is a captain for the space corps, a brahking hero, and I’ve reaped the benefits of that. That privilege came at a cost though, and that’s called expectations. Second best is not good enough and I've had to put in ten times the effort as anyone else my whole life just to meet standards! At least you grew up with a father who was there for you and loved you without the condition that everything you do is perfect!”
“All that talk about reading my file and you didn't even get past the first page did you?” I snap at him with a snarl. “ I didn't grow up with a father at all! He's been dead since I was in elementary school! Killed in action! I barely even remember him anymore!”
That one seems to give Bikim pause, but I’m not done yet.
“If you and your whole family are such a bunch of brahking heroes then how come you're here, working as a common garrison exterminator in a run-down backwater city like this?” I taunt. “Shouldn't you be out gallantly fighting the Arxur with one of the fleets or on a colony pacification force rather than making my life here harder than it already is?”
“That's the price for failing to meet expectations,” Bikim quiets down, drawing away from the world and into himself, “the price for knocking up a beautiful, wonderful girl right after graduation and refusing to get rid of it afterwards. You get cut off. You lose that privilege, and you do whatever you have to in order to provide and try to be a good role model for your son.”
Now that one threw me for a loop. In the short time I’ve known Bikim I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him, few of them good, but never would I have expected him to be the type to take responsibility… For anything. Still, there is one thing about his story that doesn't line up…
“Oh really?” I take a step back as I watch for his reaction closely. “I seem to recall Jonsco mentioned just the other day that your wife had left you for a Human.”
“Don't you bring that brahking primitive into this!” Bikim's anger flares in an instant before returning to a subtle simmer of regret. “We’ve just been having a… a rough patch in our relationship. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll win her back. She's just… confused and being taken advantage of! It's all that damn predators fault!” Bikim sighs and sits down on a nearby bench. “You're not the only one whose had something taken from them because of this job. You're not the only one without a home to go back to.”
Looking at Bikim now, a sad, pathetic man moping on the bench with nothing better to do on his rest claw than to try to externalise his inner pain… I find it hard to stay angry at him. He's still a narcissistic brahk ass and a complete jerk, but it's hard to truly hate someone when you actually know them. I had made quite a few assumptions about him when we first met, and he certainly hadn't helped my impression of him since, but… perhaps I was wrong to judge him so harshly?
“Nah,” the voice chortles, “he’s a piece of speh that got what he brahking deserves for being an insufferable prick.”
Overhead the intercom crackles to life and I can hear Jonsco's voice reverberating over the airwaves.
“Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment. Repeat. Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment.”
“Sounds like it's time for your first field assignment, Kid.” Bikim says, staring up at the intercom. “At least it gets you out of my wool. Try not to brahk it up and make the rest of us look bad.”
“Hmph.” I turn to leave, muttering to myself. “Stupid brahkass.”
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A/N - Hello! Sorry this one took a while. Like I mentioned before I got delayed working on my Ficnapping chapter as well as a crossover One-shot that's still in progress (but hopefully will be done soon). In other news we have new art of Sawvek's life-changing encounter in the Builder's Lane Bloodbath as drawn by Miglove and you can still find that and everything else Nature of Family in the new Master Post linked up above.
If you like the story then please remember to upvote, comment, and use the “!Subscribeme” function to be alerted to all new posts. I post as often as I can but real life has a tendency of getting in the way and my job makes it almost impossible to keep to any kind of schedule. Your engagement and support go a long way towards helping to keep me on track and motivated, so thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned for next chapter!