Hi guys, this is the second time I've posted here and I am really grateful for all of the comments I got! I've been a busy bee and tried a whole lot of red wines and have come a long way on my journey to figuring out what kinds of reds I love. I haven't tried all the specific bottles you guys mentioned because they were either hard to find or I had to buy then online, which is fine but I decided to go to the wineshop. And they rarely had any of the bottles you mentioned.
Here are some of the wines I tried.
Catena alta malbec A lot of you recommended this bottle to me. Definitely a good one! Cranberry and cassis. Spicy finish. Very elegant and well rounded balanced etc. A little bit more watery than the norton wine. I think I prefer cabernet over malbec? I am not getting any oak influence though. Would maybe buy this again. 86 points
Marques de Rioja Most of you said I'd love rioja. Cherry and black tea. A lot of tannins! Bold wine. Don't love it but it's quite good. 84 points
Montes cabernet sauvignon This one I remember distinctly. Heavily drenched caramel over lamb gyros with thyme and rosemary. Really weird wine! This combination of caramel and savoury notes is just a bit much for me. Full of character this wine! Too bad the flavours clash for me. 80 points
Fleurie Georges Duboeuf So I tried some big wines. Someone recommended Beaujolais and it's on the other side of the spectrum being light bodied. So I was like let's try it!
This wine is floral! I smell roses :) a bouquet of strawberry, grape juice and roses! I love the high acidity. This feels so lively and fresh and elegant. This is like ballet in a bottle. I like how it actually taste just a bit like grape juice. It is slightly fizzy? Is this possible? Strange bitter finish. Aspirin finish. Really interesting wine! So delicate yet full of life! I regularly think about this wine. 86 points
Mommesin Beaujolais-Villages This wine is just fun fun fun. I love it so much. 88 points.
Moulin-a-vent Another beaujolais. Very similar to the villages wine. 87 points.
Cecchi chianti classico Wanted to try sangiovese, so I settled on this.
This one is giving me truly weird dreams. I dreamt I was a professional bicycle rider, who was excellent on the hills.
Nose: damp cloth and cherries Taste: red fruit and a bit of tomate paste. The tannins are interesting. As I swirl it in my mouth it stings like nettles. Kinda cool. Bit of licorice in the finish. Well rounded, no flaws.
Not huge on the tomatopaste taste. 83 points.
Chateau David Medoc Nose: Buttery, earthy Taste: not fruity, bit of toffee on the finish. Sophisticated wine. A bit watery. Don't think I like the merlot in the blend. Was great with quattro fromaggi pizza! This is like mellow jazz. It's soothing, calming but still interesting. 85 points.
The wanted zin zinfandel Thought this was from america, but this is from puglia. Very bold, very sweet, very alcoholic, very oaky. THIS ONE IS DIRECT. Every knob is turned up to 11. This one is too oaky, but the american oak is really interesting, gives some amazing flavours and smells. Not enough tannins. Flabby wine. I wanted a fruity wine but this is just sweet. The more I drink it, the less I like it. This wine is trying to wow me from the start but as I'm getting to know it, it just gets worse and worse. There is something offensive about this. Is this kinda what Caymus is like? 83 points
Rodet Pinot noir The polar opposite of the zinfandel. You guys said I probably wouldn't like pinot noir and boy were you guys right! This is some granny wine. It is boring beyond belief. Smells like grape juice (do like that). No tannins, no acidity no flavour, thin. Utterly forgettable. 79 points
Tldr Norton Barrel select cabernet sauvignon 88 pts Beaujolais wines 88-86 points Catena Alta malbec 86 points Cangrande Valpollicella Ripasso 85 points Chateau David medoc 85 points Cecchi chianti classico 83 points The wanted zinfandel 83 points Montes cabernet sauvignon 80 points Rodet pinot noir 79 points
Based on this, what should I try next? I like red fruits, medium to high tannins, and high acidic wines. I like young, vibrant, fresh wines with tannins and acid.
Thank you for all your recommendations. I haven't got round to all of the recommendations you guys had in the first place! I still want to try a côte rotie for example. I also haven't had any american wines as they are quite expensive in europe. But I'm thinking about an american cab for my next bottle? Or perhaps a nebbiolo langhe.. what do you guys think, thank you!
Cheers

18F, 5'3" & 133 lb (located in Canada). I've been diagnosed with POTS, Narcolepsy (type 2), ADHD and ASD. I've also been diagnosed with hypermobility via the Beighton score, and after the recent POTS diagnosis, my doctor is now looking into connective tissue disorders etc. I take 40mg of Vyvanse daily, 100mg of modafinil twice a day, and have been instructed by my neurologist to take baby aspirin daily while we figure out what's going on. I also subluxed my right shoulder in late January and am in physio.
I woke up on March 24th with a really bad headache, one I hadn't had before- like a little invisible knife was stabbing the upper right side of my head. I took ibuprofen and by dinner, it was only half gone. My chest felt tight, and I had to inhale really deeply to feel like I got a full lungs-worth of air. With the combination of my regularly high heart rate, the stimulants I'm taking, and my hypermobility, I tend to be more cautious of stroke/cardiac issues than the average person- as is my neurologist. So I called the nurse hotline for advice, and the consensus was "go get checked out in the ER". So I did- they took my blood, an EKG, and then I waited. Finally the doctor arrived to tell me that my blood was fine and my heart was fine. He essentially said "It's probably a migraine, the chest tightness should go away, come back if you start throwing up", and then sent us to the dismissal area. While waiting, I started to get vertigo. It felt like the space around my head was slowly rotating, like a super slow black hole. Then everything suddenly looked... fake? Like it was 2D, or flatter than normal. When he came back, my mum told him what was happening and all he said was that he could prescribe me vertigo medication and that the chest tightness and headache were "separate from each other & aren't related to the vertigo, because vertigo has to do with the inner ear system". We got sent home and I passed tf out.
That next morning I woke up and my left arm was completely dead- flopped over and hit me in the leg with zero feeling. Couple of minutes later the arm just suddenly came back "online" with no tingling, pain, or pins and needles, not at all like it was circulation-related. My headache was gone though, so I decided to try to be in a good mood and have a normal day. Then I noticed my left cheek was a bit numb. (I'm aware I should've been more alarmed atp, but I felt pretty calm for some reason.) Over the next three hours, my cheek got more and more numb and began to include my jaw, neck and shoulder (it was the same amount of decreased sensation throughout my whole left side, I was just realizing part by part). Eventually my concern overpowered my reluctance to go back to the hospital, so I called the nurse hotline again. They told me to call 911. Firefighters got there before the ambulance, and they told the paramedics that my left side "seemed to be weaker". Got triaged and taken to the waiting area inside the emergency zone, where we sat for ~2 hours. At that point, I had noticed the numbness in my arm and just felt weird & spacey. I opened my mouth to say something to my mum, and nothing came out- like it was stuck in my throat. I understood words, could move my mouth, and knew what I was going to say, but it just wouldn't come out (this continued for the next ~40 minutes). Typing worked though, so I texted her that something was wrong and to get a doctor. After about 20 minutes of trying, she managed to bring someone back- the exact same doctor I had seen the night before. It felt like he dismissed anything I had to say the moment he saw me- maybe half the neurological assessment steps were done (very rushed), he said that because I understood what he was saying it wasn’t a stroke, that it was anxiety, and how he didn’t want to do a CT scan “because of the radiation”. I typed out that I would really like a CT scan, and he (after multiple “are you sure”s) sent me off to go get the IV placed. Got a contrast head CT (not head & neck) & was put in the dismissal area to wait. I was still weirdly calm during all this, I don't know why- I knew something was wrong, and was thinking “this is not good”, but I never really felt anxious, just frustrated that they weren’t listening. A different doctor came over with two tiny pills in a little cup- “Do you think you can take these for me?”, she asked. It felt condescending, but I took the cup and asked what it was for. She said it was Ativan and that it would “help me feel calmer”. This confused me, as I was just sitting there, but I was too tired at this point so I just took them (never again- it felt like my legs were springs, I was so unsteady). She asked me more questions and then there was a little huddle of doctors discussing what to do with me, I could hear them bringing up my age over and over. The CT scan came back clear, so they ended up referring me to the neurologist there that I had seen before, and we went home.
My neurologist had me get a non-contrast head & neck MRI (which ended up being a month after the ER visit), but because I have SUCH good luck, the hospital never actually sent her the report, so she’s only just received it today.
The entire left side of my body has less sensation than the right and has been this way since this started (48 days), it splits straight down the middle. No pain, no pins and needles, no weird sensations- but the volapalmar side of my left hand has been tingling/feeling fuzzy since two days ago (constant). Since the event, I've been smelling things that aren't there, and this has been increasing in frequency (from 2-3 times a week to daily). I will occasionally smell bleach for about 10 seconds before it goes away, but yesterday I smelt a sort of chemically-floral scent for a couple minutes straight while my mum smelt nothing, and this morning I thought there was a fire because I kept smelling campfire smoke- so much so that I went outside and looked around to see if our neighbours were burning something (I’m still hoping this WAS a neighbour and not me). I also keep getting these weird twinges in the right side of my head- they only last seconds to a couple minutes, but they hurt, and I’ve never had them before. Even though I’m still taking my Vyvanse, keeping my brain on track and rejecting distractions has felt harder than normal. The left-right difference is especially noticeable in my face and it’s so irritating- it feels stiff, like it’s being pulled down, and I hate it. My eyes squint unevenly when I smile now, and the left side of my mouth doesn't curl up. It's been 49 days and nothing's gotten better. Something feels wrong.

For context I (24f) was diagnosed with PCOS in 2021, main probs are extremely high testosterone, high dhea sulfate, borderline high insulin, & stubborn weight gain (slower but obvious weight gain w/ no change in routine going from 100lbs to 120lbs in a few months after high school and maintained 120-130lbs but then in 2021 started to shoot from 120lbs to 190lbs in about a year & a half even after diet changes etc & have consistently been 185-190lbs (I’m 5’2) for the last year), & then obviously infertility has been a struggle.
My SO (25m) & I have put a pause on actively trying & tracking so this cycle would be more of a happy accident, however, had been on letrozole 2.5mg for three months prior & had no luck yet did have positive ovulation tests on easy@home & pregmate strips. However, thanks to inositol & prenatals my cycle has started to regulate to around 34 days in contrast to the usual 120 ish days it was before with provera needed to induce.
This is probably the first cycle I ovulated naturally in years. I took an ovulation test on a whim after we had did the deed two & three nights prior, day of peak, & day after. Well, this test I got the most blazing positive I ever had, basically became a dye stealer kind of positive. I am 10DPO right now & have had the worst cramps possible since around 6DPO. I know that can just be PMS as well but I usually don’t cramp like this. Boobs are also super sore & have been extremely nauseous but I know that’s also related to PMS & could just be a rise in progesterone since I would test positive already if HCG was high enough to produce symptoms.
I have tested stark white negative with FMU & just tested at 8pm as well w/ another negative. I took an ovulation test too as I heard w/ early HCG the tests sometimes cannot distinguish between HCG & LH so you may get a positive OPK if pregnant. I did not, also pretty faint line indicating low LH. So, for that reason I am also thinking I may be out.
I know everyone says you aren’t out until AF shows up but statistically it’s looking like I am. I just don’t understand if I got that blazing of a positive OPK & have had positives in the past & the timing is right why it isn’t happening, it just feels like my body is broken.
Also to add: I have gotten pregnant once before randomly at 20 before my pcos got worse but had a loss at 7 weeks but that has been my only instance of conception when I’ve never had protected sex in my life w/ any numerous partners I’ve had since 16. Also, my partner does have a child (2.5yo) from a prior relationship & 2 losses so I don’t believe any issues are on his end.
Anyone get a positive after a later negative or suggestions for supplements or tips for when we are ready to try again if this isn’t it? Currently taking wholesome story myo & d-chiro inositol powder, Mary Ruth’s women’s liquid multivitamin with hormonal support, 540mg maca root, 100mg coq10, smartypants gummy prenatal (bad at taking pills), & baby aspirin. Should I add or switch anything else?

Hi! So about 6 months ago, out of the blue, I had a horrible migraine with aura which lasted 5 days and left me with awful dizziness for about a month. Slowly it cleared up and I thought I was back to normal, then it happened again… and again… and now I’m left with daily headaches or migraine symptoms, nausea and dizziness which has really turned my life upside down.
So far, I’ve found that any exercise (even walking more than 3 miles) triggers a headache, stress and also a bad sleep. But most days it feels like I get a headache for no reason 😂 i was a big gym girl, so it’s been a big life change. my migraines are weird, the pain is at the base of my skull and forehead, I’m never sensitive to light but very sensitive to sound and I get an aura as I said. I used to have migraines every 5 months or so when I was a teenager but then they went away, for years.
I’ve been to the GP several times, luckily they have really listened to me. I have prescription aspirin, stemetil and sumatriptan. I’ve been put on 10mg Amitriptyline as a preventative which I started on Tuesday and had a CT scan of my head today, find out results in 2 weeks. I had a great first day on the ami, no headache for a full day!! But on day 3 they are back, I know it takes about 6 weeks for the effects to kick in fully so I’m trying not to lose hope.
I work from home already, which has been a godsend as I can mostly take a break when I need it. I have a busy job, I work hard but haven’t been able to work as hard since this started. my work have not been understanding about the migraines, they are asking me to come to the office a few days per week or brushing me off if I’m telling them I’m not feeling well and I’m scared I’m going to lose my job, and if I do then how the hell do I get another one?? We need 2 incomes to pay our bills.
I recently went on holiday with my fiancée and it was hard, we couldnt go out for more than a couple hours a day. I have the most loving and kind fiancée in the world but it’s eating me up not getting to be the partner I want to be for him! I want to be able to go out and do nice things together!
I guess I’m looking for reassurance, tips, personal stories from other chronic migraine sufferers?? How do you do life??
Thanks for reading x
UPDATE - I’m a subcontractor and my job just let me go with a week’s notice because I can’t work in the office because the lighting / computer screens without a blue light filter trigger my migraines, and they no longer want a remote worker. Terrified and no idea what to do, and I have no rights because I’m a subcontractor to this company.

I just need to scream into a void that understands what I’m dealing with for a moment. I started having chest pain around 9am. I was like eh it’s just from my coffee it’s fine. About noon, it hits me. The worst pain I’ve ever felt in my chest, down my left arm, and to my back. I was like oooh.. that’s not good. I took off work early and laid in bed trying to find a spot that doesn’t just kill me. Doesn’t work. Finally at 12:30 I went to the ER. My blood pressure when I got there was 159/102. My resting heart rate was 109. I then wait SIX HOURS until they can do my labs and my CT/EKG. EKG looked fine. I had my labs done, by this point I’m like okay if I’m not in any danger I wanna go home. My BP is high, I take propranolol I’ll be okay. I think I’m just stressed from being here. Dr is like Nooo don’t leave I ordered the CT. I ask if it’s just absolutely necessary. He says yes. I’ve had nothing for pain at this point and I’m hurting so badly I’m dizzy. I ask the RECEPTIONIST (because no.. I’m not in a room yet..) if I could have maybe an aspirin to just see if it’ll ease up. No. NPO. I’m like okay.. fine I get they are busy. That’s ok! They retake my BP.. 154/99. I’m starting to worry a little. Considering my BP is typically perfection this was a little much. I wait another FOUR HOURS. Finally get a room and finally get a chest CT. My labs are weird, and I have an elevated D dimer. He’s not worried. It’s fine. It’s fine. Get my CT done, I’m like please give me something for the BP I’m pretty sure that’s why my chest hurts so bad. Nope. Can’t do that. Here’s a Tylenol. I’m like okay.. thanks. Doctor comes in.. hey good news you’re fine. Labs look great your CT looked really good and there’s no issues! I was like.. my blood pressure.. that’s not okay for me. He checks it again. 168/105. Ohhh you’re just stressed he said. I was like.. no.. I’m actually not stressed and when I sit up I’m dizzy. Also my stomach is so swollen and big. I’m never like this. He says to me.. wait out the pain and take ibuprofen. I think you pulled a muscle and you need to poop. I cry in front of him and beg him for pain meds. He gives me Toradol. Which is perfect it’s not Tylenol and it’ll stop my pain I hoped. He leaves and the nurse comes in. She looks at my BP and is like yikes you wait. Doctor will not give me BP meds because it’s going “behind my doctors back”. I start crying again and I’m finally like look.. I am not leaving until I get something for my BP because my heart is in my throat and I’m not okay leaving like this. Tadaaa BP meds appear. BP is perfect now. I’m discharged. All this to say… I feel like my last resort now is pain management. I can’t find any doctors who want to help me or get to the bottom of my pain I’m having. I’m brushed off and looked at based off my age alone and not my medical records. I have a ton of GI issues that makes me hurt very badly. I have joint pain, and I can feel my tendons hurting. I want to go to pain management but I know that the pain meds are bad for my liver. Do any of you go to pain management? If you do what’s it like? I want a feel of if it’ll be help or not. I’m tired of wasting my time and being told I’m crazy basically.

Hey everyone, here is the digest of the digest again, focusing on Berlin. Last one from March.

Week of 2nd (issue #95)

1. 👩🏻‍🍳 Hallman & Klee was awarded a Michelin star. Regular readers will remember we recommended it three weeks ago! In total, with the new addition last week, we now have 22 restaurants with stars in Berlin, the highest number in Germany.
2. You can earn €25-€120 for helping as a volunteer in the European elections on the 9th of June. Unlike other elections, you can apply with any of the EU passports. (Look for Onlinebereitschaftserklärung, somehow my link got broken twice). They are looking for 30.000 volunteers, so take the chance.
3. An exceptionally important and well-written essay by Adam Tooze to understand German-Israeli relations (Israel’s security as a key part of Germany’s Staatsräson) around the Gaza crisis. It involves submarines.
4. Career: If your company recently went through layoffs, this might actually be a good time to ask for a raise. People are the company’s number one asset.
5. Reddit choice of the week is this great explanation from Tolstoy_mc about why during inflation, coffee and restaurants are getting so much more expensive for the regular Joe/Jane. The longer the supply chain, the worse it gets.
6. 💬 Briefly:
   1. Stats: In the last quarter of 2023, the bankruptcy proceedings in Berlin grew 12.4% YoY to 1,516. (St. BB)
   2. Numa will invest in 82-unit serviced apartments in Wedding. Opening planned for Q2 ‘26.
   3. A reader sent me evidence of how startups were disrupting the insurance industry: their policy was sold twice in the last 2 years, which means they are with their third insurance company now. 🤡

Week of 8th (issue #96)

1. Tagesspiegel (🇩🇪, €) made a list of the top 10 best-paying Berlin employers based on Kununu data with a minimum of 50 submitted salaries. I’ve often featured many here, but was recently sceptical about Cariad (VW’s software company).
2. Because I clicked on one ad, my Instagram stories are full of law firms offering deletion of bad Google reviews. It’s a big business because I get a lot of ads served on the “Löschhelfer” Google query. With this templated business model, businesses can harass reviewers for a couple of EUR. Here is a BZ report on a not-named popular Café in Mitte (🇩🇪). A part of me is, “fuck it, who cares,” but a part of me is like, “Let’s name the bars and restaurants doing it.” What do you think? Spoiler alert: I decided we can’t really do anything against it without getting bullied.
3. 💬 Briefly:
   1. Stats: On average, we eat 51.6kg of meat annually (-430g YoY) in Germany. Out of which 27.5kg is pork, 13.1kg poultry and 8.9kg red meat. (FAZ)
   2. Activist investor hedge fund Sachem Head started a 3.6% position in Delivery Hero. This usually means nervous C-level management and stock price appreciation. Last week, the stock settled at +18.47%.

Week of 15th (issue #97)

1. ♡ I loved this pitch for Berlin from 2018. The pitch doctor also mentioned EyeEm and N26, both featured in today’s Briefly section
2. If you ever want to start a company in Germany/Berlin, here is a guide to bookmark. Buying an existing off-the-shelf company is also available if you need it earlier.
3. Career: “Find people to talk to or collaborate with by searching across the /about, /ideas and /now pages of 6054 personal websites.” A lot of Berliners if you try the “Berlin” search.
4. 💬 Briefly:
   1. Now N26 also turned on stock and ETF trading. What a crowded market!
   2. Volocopter’s plans to start running regular flight services in Paris during the Olympics are in danger. One problem is the necessary approval, and the other is local opposition. If, they will fly “by invitation”. (Capital, 🇩🇪)

Week of 22nd (issue #98)

1. 🚨 If you haven’t yet, check out this cool dashboard for the comp data.
2. 🎥 Kino International, a former GDR “premiere” cinema, which celebrated 60. years last November, will close for two years of renovation on the 13th of May. If you want to catch it in its current glory, here is the programme. It’s worth it.
3. 🇪🇺 Everyone with an EU passport can also vote in Berlin in the coming EU elections on the 9th of June. Here are instructions on how.
4. 🤖 In Germany, we have constitutionally forbidden Sunday shopping. Now imagine a shop run completely by robots. Could this automated shop be open on Sundays? Apparently not. The legal battle (Verdi vs Tegut) over automated shops in Fulda started four years ago, and the judge said the small-service store still qualified as a shop. (FT, €) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
5. Timeless: Tit for Tat always wins. A must-see video about the game theory, the beauty of cooperation and being nice to people. What Game Theory Reveals About Life, The Universe, and Everything by Veritasium (25+ min).
6. Reddit choice of the week is this gorgeous graffiti by 1UP crew. Also seen is Paradox Paradise left and right. If you want to see it live, go here.
7. 💬 Briefly:
   1. Grocery delivery news: Flink raised $100M from most of the existing investors, maybe also to fight off Knuspr (formerly known as Bringmeister), which is starting in Berlin on the 22nd of April. Crowded! WiWo (🇩🇪) reported that Getir might pull out of Germany. (It eventually did!)
   2. Thai retailer Central Group bought the remaining share of bankrupt KaDeWe. According to RBB, the company was struggling for years. (🇩🇪) Extremely high rents from their owner (Signa) surely didn’t help. Financial engineering until you hit the wall?
   3. After a stellar 2023 performance, Q1 sales of ASML (microchip equipment producer with a presence in Berlin) came in at 21.6% lower than expected. ArrakisTaiwan-based TMSC also lowered the outlook.
   4. RBB reports that Apple Maps started to record German streets for their “street view”. This time they’ll also do it on foot (in Berlin between 23.5 and 31.7). The whole thing should be documented by mid-August.

Week of 29th (issue #99)

1. ❤️ We have trash investigators like “Bronko” in Berlin (🇩🇪), so make sure you don’t do anything stupid (fines are going to significantly increase as well: 250€ for a fag, €3.000 for 2kg of trash and €8k for a sofa). BSR removed 40.000 m3 of illegal trash in 2022! I wish dogs would also leave a signature on their sh*t, because some of their owners clearly have no shame.
2. 💦 The Berliner published the results of their sex survey (n=2,075). Findings include high acceptance and practice of non-monogamy (40% defining their relationships as some form of non-monogamy) and the cultural influence on sexual identity (35% reported that living in Berlin has changed their preferred relationship type).
3. 🤔 Bayer, the former German pharma champion and aspirin inventor, is in big trouble. €34.5B of debt, €2.5B loss in 2023 and poor pharma pipeline. Bill Anderson, CEO since June 2023, learned “that the company’s rules and procedures handbook was longer than War and Peace,” so his plan now is to save €2B by cutting most of the middle managers and asking nearly 100,000 employees to ‘self-organize’. (Fortune) Wild!
4. Career: LinkedIn compiled a list of the 25 best companies in Germany based (🇩🇪) on eight factors: advancement opportunities, skill growth, company stability, external job prospects, company affinity, gender distribution, educational level of employees, and employer relevance in the specific country. Twelve of the companies have a presence in Berlin: Siemens, Sanofi, Boston Consulting Group (BCG), Kering, Karl Storz, Bain & Company, Amazon, Fresenius Group, Deutsche Bahn, Thermo Fisher Scientific, McKinsey & Company, and Pfizer.
5. Reddit choice of the week is this rare burst of (spring-related?) positivity on and the quote from Anneliese Bödecker added by someone: “Die Berliner sind unfreundlich und rücksichtslos, ruppig und rechthaberisch, Berlin ist abstoßend, laut, dreckig und grau, Baustellen und verstopfte Straßen, wo man geht und steht – aber mir tun alle Menschen leid, die nicht hier leben können!” Goosebumped!
6. 💬 Briefly:
   1. Stats: In 2023, the average asking rent per sqm was €13.60, an 18.3% increase from the previous year. Kreuzberg and Neukölln saw nearly a 25% increase. (🇩🇪, RBB)
   2. Autodoc (Berlin, auto parts e-commerce) reached unicorn status (€2.3B) after taking on a private investment from Apollo Funds. In 2023 they generated €1.3B+ in net revenue and €130+ million of adjusted EBITDA.
   3. HelloFresh reported Q1: a 74.6% drop in adj. EBITDA to €16.8 million with record revenue of €2.07B. They target 2% to 8% revenue growth for the fiscal 2024.

You can see the rest here.

So I was diagnosed with severe migraines in my 20s. I'm 38 not. Nothing used to work for me, I'd take Aspirin, paracetamol, and ibuprofen. Nothing. I'd get them every so often and I would be in so much pain I'd be throwing up. Lying in different positions, rubbing my head until it was red. This could go on for days. Then I'd have this bruised feeling for a few more days but was basically fine. The migraine increased as I got old, even to a point were I would get 1 every day or 2. But around maybe 5 years oe so after I started getting them I was introduced to a medication called 'ADCO DOL' In my country, They are a mild opioid, and they worked really well. I used to take a mixture of Adco dol and Ibuprofen, this would work about 90% of the time. I eventually dropped the Ibuprofen and just took the Acol dol. Increasing the amount depending on the migraine.
By my 30s I just always had them on me. Even my partner at the time would see me rubbing my head and just say, Pills. She didn't realise the effect this was actually having on my body or even the side effects, but I started feeling it, and it got pretty bad, my stomach was one of the things I noticed first, I would just bloat up and not use the toilet for days some even a week. This wasn't something I took too much notice of, I just assumed it was how my body was working. This got so bad that I almost had to go to the emergency room. The stool had handed like concrete in my stomach. Even after taking a laxative it did not work, I would through up more. But eventually it came out and ripped through my ××××. There was so much blood.
So I put 2 and 2 together and realised what had happened, after doing research I learned that this could happen to some people. From there I had to try reduce it as I still had migraines. I would only take with the very worst migraines. But it was still effecting my stomach. My doctor, at the time, I left her for a new one as she almost killed me with wrong medication (Diffrent story) , told me to just take 1 every morning so I'd less likely have a migraine and it was a small dosage so I should be fine with my stomach. I didn't do not and tried to just get if the pill as it was making things worse. Once I stopped using them my stomach reversed and I've Been struggling with constant stomach problems, haven't been able to eat properly since 2022. Lost went from 94 kgs to 60 kgs. I've gone to multiple specialist and told them that I think the adcodol may have done this, but fully been checked and my colon is in good condition. I still get migraines and crave the adcodols.
I take no medicine now other than my antidepressants.
It looks like it's common knowledge online, but be careful what medication you take.
Mild opioids are highly addictive and may cause other symptoms. The withdrawal from them sucks as it also induces migraines.
I will only take now in extreme cases.

Hi everyone!
So just asking, I know aspirin binds irreversibly to COX enzyme and this enzyme is related to the production of several inflammatory mediators, such as PGEs that if Im not wrong, they are responsible for fever production in hypothalamus
Taking aspirins when you feel bad but you dont have fever yet can prevent your temperature from rising? I dont think is relevant but the post keeps getting eliminated: 22F, 170 cm high, I dont smoke or drink or drug myself, tinnitus problems and daily tratment with a histamine receptors partial agonist, from south america

I Hate The Character Limit, so much.
Previous Posts:
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/PathToNowhere/comments/1clu2tn/path_to_nowhere_sfw_headcanons_part_4_shalom/
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/PathToNowhere/comments/1clu7gw/path_to_nowhere_sfw_headcanons_for_shalom_part_2/
35. She has joined several other Sinners in keeping an eye on the chief and making sure she does not overwork herself too much, with her method of getting her to stop being to simply walk into the office, grab her by the wrist, and pull her away from her computer and off to either of their rooms.
When that does not work, she will resort to decidedly more underhanded methods, such as slipping into the office via one of the hidden passages, putting her hands over her eyes and telling her that it is time to go to sleep as she waits for her to surrender.
Another option is to utilize the most tried and true method, that being the NHH method, which involves sicking either Nightingale or Hecate and Hella on the Chief, with said method ending in her either being drug out of her office by the Adjutant, often still in her chair, or being bullied into going to sleep by Hecate’s pleading and Hella’s cursing as she chews her out.
But should all of the above fail, should all seem lost in this endeavor, then Shalom has perfected a final tired and true method of forcing the Chief to relax, one that, during her first attempt almost ended with her becoming a head shorter courtesy of a rather infuriated Sumire.
The method in question?
Step 1: Walk into the office. Utilizing passages is not necessary as the sound of approaching heels clicking on the floor and knocking on the door adds a valuable psychological factor to the approach.
Step 2: Do not respond to any of the Chief’s questions, merely meet her gaze with a smile and walk towards her, navigate around her desk and push her back towards the wall behind her.
Step 3: Utilize greater than average strength to force her to remain in the chair by pinning her to ii, typically done by straddling her lap.
Step 4: Lean in close to her ear and begin to hum a lullaby as you stroke her hair, and rub her upper back, certain fragrance perfumes also assist in this method, particularly ones including lavender.
Step 5: Wait for her to give in and then wheel her out of the office and towards her room.
So far this method boasts the 2nd highest success rate out of her other methods of coercing the Chief into resting, the highest being the NHH method, though other Sinners boast of having more successful ones…granted one of them involves rendering her unconscious and another involves paralyzing her, but they still work, thus the Hush shall not stop until she perfects a method of getting the Chief to cease overworking herself.
Her current approach being to simply insure that there is no reason for her to overwork herself, with her providing aid on matters that would otherwise take up too much of the Chief’s time, though the Chief is yet hesitant to fully trust her with much of her work, she has so far allowed for the help.
Only time will tell if this method works though.
36. She has a curiosity regarding the various other nations that exist beyond the walls of Dis, something that has led to her gathering as much information and memorabilia from those nations that she is capable of.
She regularly searches out any of the Sinners from foreign lands to speak with regarding their former homes, such as Pacassi and her long vanished hometown, Eirene and Fraser, KawaKawa and Stargazer for WhiteSands, or OwO and Goldion Ville.
It has become a small dream of hers to one day visit the lands beyond the walls of Dis and see what the world is like outside of the reach of Paradeisos and herself, though she does not want to go alone, so she has decided that she will try and take Rosa, Rahu, Christina (and of course where christina goes, Thistle goes.), and or the Chief with her come the chance to slip away.
But for now she will settle with enjoying what trinkets and information she can from those distant lands. She is particularly fond of the chess set that Eirene had brought over from her home city and the paper lantern that OwO made for her.
37. Similar to Langley, she has many times made use of the skills of the Phantom Thief pair of Priscilla and Tetra, though she has never directly spoken to them, instead utilizing multiple online accounts and middle-men to hire them.
The pair have long since ceased attempting to investigate just who it is that is behind all of the jobs that Shalom has given them, their previous attempts having ended with the pair finding a flash drive tucked into a drawer that contained their…toys, during a rather passionate moment.
Their session of intimacy being cast aside as they investigated what was on the flash drive, the pair soon finding themselves clinging onto one another as they saw a file containing both videos and images of them going about their daily lives, as well as on their missions, even their homes outside of the Bureau, including safe houses even the Chief was unaware of.
Amidst the flurry of images and videos was a single document, a simple text file that contained words which managed to send a chill through their cores.
“I would advise you to not bite the hand that feeds you, I harbor no malice towards you at the moment…but if you continue to pry into things best left unknown…then I will be forced to take much more direct action against you.
The presence of this hard drive should be proof enough of what I am capable of, as well as the extent of my influence, and be advised that what you see here is but a fraction of the data I have gathered on the two of you.
But that is neither here nor there at the moment, and I would truly hate to sully the wonderful working relationship we have at the moment, and in the same vein lose two exceptionally useful allies, thus I will take no action against you at the moment.
For now, I would advise you to hold one another close, perhaps enjoy the wine you have stored away in your cupboard. It is a wonderful vintage that pairs quite well with the dark chocolate that Tetra purchased a couple of days ago.
Take some time off to process this information, don’t worry about anything, your superior at the Bureau is a kind woman, she won’t pry too much, and you have likely received a rather sizable transfer to your account for a job well done in regards to your last few missions from me.
With that said, I must be going, I have a great many things to attend to that require my personal attention, though before I go, I have to admit that I was impressed by the variety of toys you possess. My own collection seems paltry in comparison…perhaps I should remedy that.
Sincerely X.”
The pair would take their mysterious benefactors' advice and spend the next few days with each other, not only scouring their homes and cell for bugs, but also in trying to bury the terror that the flash drive caused them.
That the damn thing vanished the next day, only further heightened their fears of this unknown X.
Curiously, the days following this incident would see Shalom spend a rather lengthy amount of time browsing certain…illicit sites in search of new additions for her own collection, that she asked Rahu, Rosa (Who she communicated with via sharing her screen in a call or by phone), and the Chief their opinion on the objects in question, is something 2 of the 3 mentioned would very much like to forget .
38. Upon learning that Peggy and Joan were two of the musicians whose tapes and records she possessed, she took time out of her schedule to ask for their autograph’s on the tapes and records in question, paying them quite handsomely in return.
She has likewise requested recording of several other musician Sinners performances, from Dudu, who spent several minutes in dumbfounded silence at just how much Shalom offered her before energetically shaking her hand and running off to get started, to Echo and her saxophone, the young musician being ecstatic to record a tape for someone at last.
Whether or not the music is any good by the standards of the masses is of no concern to Shalom, all that matters is that it is her choice to listen to and enjoy it, and not the whims of her former masters, with it also serving a memento of some of the more vibrant souls present within the Bureau.
39. Given her fixation on spreading happiness, and Shalom’s desire for happiness, it is a fair assumption to say that she has something of a relationship with Serpent, with the serpentine Sinner having taken upon herself the challenge of making Shalom give her a genuine smile through any means necessary.
As a result of this, Shalom has many times found herself given a front row seat to the shows that Serpent puts on within the Bureau, the serpentine Sinner having pulled out every stop during her shows to try and coerce as much genuine emotion as she can from Shalom, with the Hush often finding herself feeling emotionally drained and yet deeply satisfied after each performance.
She has also met the monstrous snake that Serpent keeps as a pet, granted their meeting involved it slithering through the vents and into her room as she was reading a book, but unlike many of her fellows she did not immediately panic and was instead able to keep the colossal snake busy until Serpent could arrive to recover it.
Though it did take them a rather long while to convince the snake to uncoil itself from around her and her chair, especially given that it seemed to be enjoying the story she was reading aloud to it.
That is not to say it is an entirely one-sided deal, as Serpent has come to find herself with enough money in her account to be able to afford the sun lamps she has wanted for a long while, with Shalom also taking upon herself the duty of babysitting Serpent’s snake when the woman has to leave it behind on a mission.
She has also aided Serpent in her quest to make the Chief happy, not only through funding but also by helping her in researching a rather large variety of means to try and appease the woman in question.
The Chief has since come to expect that whenever Serpent has a show, she will find herself being seated near the front with Shalom on one side, Eirene on the other, and Rahu and Christina as far away from the giant snake that accompanies Serpent as possible.
40. She gets cold easily due to her fragile nature, her heavy coat helps her with it to an extent, but during particularly cold or windy days, she needs to wear layers to the point that she needs several minutes to pry off all of them when she is out of the cold, otherwise she will begin to overheat.
In addition to getting cold easily, she also has a rather weak immune system, even with Paradeisos medicine at her back, thus she can easily fall ill during cold weather, leading to her being bedridden or consigned to the medical wing for several days before her condition stabilizes.
As a result of this, she tends to avoid leaving the warmth of the Bureau, or even her room for that matter, during such weather unless her presence is requested by the Chief for some matter, though even then she will demand heavy reparations for her presence.
Typically, said reparations will involve the Chief pampering her while she recovers from whatever illness has come to plague her, even should she be given medication to treat it, she will still request that the Chief stay with her till she is fully recovered.
That is not to say she fairs any better during hot weather, as she has to wear sunscreen or carry an umbrella to avoid sun burns during the intense heat, with her trying to minimize her exposure to the intense sunlight as much as she can to avoid heat sickness.
It is safe to say that she enjoys the more mild weather of spring or the cool and yet not freezing weather of fall as opposed to winter or summer, with those being the months she is able to enjoy the sights of the city and the world before she is forced to flee into cover at the changing weather.
41. She once requested Enfer to make use of her ability to try and sculpt something that could elicit genuine fear from her, with the artist devoting a rather obscene amount of time and effort towards the matter, Shalom funding her ventures as the sculptor tried everything she could.
Eventually, Enfer managed to create something that managed to provoke a reaction from Shalom, the exact nature of the work that managed to provoke a feeling of unease and distress within Shalom such that she was visibly unnerved is unknown however, as Shalom had any visual images of the work removed as she took it to a secure and hidden space within her room.
None but the Hush and the Sculptor themselves have seen just what was made that day, and Enfer refuses to share any information on the matter, the Mistress of Fear herself feeling no small amount of unease whenever she recalls the work she made, and sheer distress it caused to flicker through the normally blank faced Shalom as she looked upon it.
No threat was needed, no promise of revenge or wrath, nor was a bribe needed, only a glance at Shalom and at the artwork she had made was needed to bid her tongue to stay silent on the matter.
An oddity is that after the piece was finished and hidden away, the pair tried to spend as much time with the Chief as possible, as though something compelled them to do so…perhaps…no, it is better that road be left unwalked.
42. She is a regular listener to Eleven’s radio show, and is exceptionally fond of the radio host herself, finding her show to be the perfect thing to listen to as she focuses on work that has either kept her up late, or has awoken her exceptionally early.
Eleven is more than a little wary of the Hush, especially given the rumors she has heard of the woman, particularly from the agents of the Garden and various others, though at the same time she cannot ignore the way Shalom has spoken so highly of her, and the several times she has called in to her show to speak with her whenever she needed to take a breather during her work.
That said, Eleven wishes that the next time Shalom asks to take her photo, she does not have the flash on, especially given that the mirror she was standing beside managed to reflect it and disorientate both of them for several minutes.
43. She very much enjoys sleeping in on the days she has nothing to do though not quite to the extent of Coquelic, who prefers to spend almost the entire day in bed when there is nothing for her to focus on, with her trying to catch up on any sleep she has been forced to miss as a result of her work.
Whenever someone attempts to awaken her from this slumber they will typically either be met by her Mark blazing in one of her eyes as she glares at them, or with her reaching out to pull them into bed with her, something that Rahu, Christina, Rosa, and the Chief have been the victims of before.
The problem is that once she has a grip on them, and has begun to fall asleep, she very much refuses to relinquish her grip on them, with her poor victims having to either wait for her to awaken, or for them to find some way to wake her up.
Such as carrying her to, and proceeding to drop her into a tub of either warm or cold water, something that Rahu had to resort to at one point when something came up and Shalom was needed on one of those days.
She proceeded to learn that while Shalom is frail, she is still capable of throwing surprisingly heavy objects with no small amount of force at someone, particularly when they have their back turned to her.
On an unrelated note, she had to see Iron and Anne for some aspirin to help with a headache she gained that day, where it came from she would not say, only that both the source of it, and the headache itself, were exceptionally annoying.
44. Shalom is not counted among the “Sane People Of The Bureau” as the group of Nightingale, Cinnabar, and recently Matilda is called within the Bureau by both staff and sinner, this is no small part due to her past as the Hush and her fixation on the Chief, along with the extremes she is willing to go to in order to achieve her goals.
That said, she is still numbered among the “Somewhat Sane People Of the Bureau,” along with the likes of Langley, Zoya, and so on. As while she may not be the most sane of individuals, with Shalom even confessing such a thing herself due to her skewed view on morals and how she was brought up by Paradeisos, she is still more sane than most of the staff and sinners alike and is thus a candidate for leadership and advice should any of the Sane People Of The Bureau be indisposed after something occurs to effect the Chief…or when the chief needs to be overruled and or forced to take a break.
45. She has a deep seated fascination with the Immortals (Dreya, Vanilla, and Mantis) due in no small part to their own contributions towards paving the way for Dis to be founded by Keylan during the expedition into the Perishing Star, along with the wisdom and knowledge they hold regarding not only the star, but also what they can recall of the world before Dis was founded.
This is one of the few point where she and Paradeisos are in agreement, the information the Immortals possess has already caused several breakthroughs in regards to how the Perishing Star is viewed, along with information regarding both Mania and the effect it has had on the environment of the land around the star.
As such, Shalom has been asked by Paradeisos to keep an eye on the Immortals and to help act as an intermediary to exchange information with them, especially in regards to the subjects of the Illusory Moon and it seeming intelligence, alongside of information of the old world that was lost during the years before the Expedition breached into the Star’s domain.
She tends to speak most with Dreya as opposed to Mantis and Vanilla, as she find the astronomer to be the easiest to converse with of the group as opposed to the survivalist and logistician, though she has orders to try and gather information from Vanilla due to her being a largely unknown part of the Keylan Expedition, alongside of her understanding of the temporal hellstorm that rages within the Star’s domain and her ability to help in reconstructing some of the ruined monitoring stations around 00.
46. Shalom was rather surprised when she learned that the Chief refuses financial backing and aid from her sinners, alongside of only taking Hella and Hecate with her on her missions, the latter annoying her much more than the former due to potential safety risks.
As a result of this, she is one of many that have brought up the idea of the Chief taking other sinners aside from just Hella and Hecate with her during missions as while she may have success so far with just the pair, she also has tendency to run into situations that heavier firepower would be greatly useful in contending with.
As a result of this, she and several others, including Langley, Eirene, Demon, and Rahu, have worked to put together a means of coercing the Chief to accept further aid on her missions from those who are capable of doing so, with the more contaminated and mania sensitive sinners having to be kept on the sidelines due to contamination and potential risk of going full maniac allowing for them to narrow the suspects down.
That they have even been able to sway Nightingale to their side is proof of their devotion to this cause, though so far they have had little luck in convincing the chief to accept further help…at least willingly as they have several times simply either pulled rank on her (Langley) or threatened her with withholding her coffee and snacks (Nightingale) if she did not take aid with her on some missions.
Shalom would go with the Chief on missions herself, if she did not feel that doing so would run the risk of allowing Paradeisos too much information on the Chief and potentially causing the both of them future headaches.
47. Despite her fragility, Shalom possesses rather impressive healing capabilities, though not to the extent of Hella, she is still capable of surviving many wounds that would have been fatal to others, with Schorl furthering her healing abilities with its own technology.
She cannot regrow limbs or digits, nor can she regenerate organs, or is she immune to illness, but she is still capable of taking a stab or bullet and surviving, at least assuming it is not directly to her heart or brain, something she considers one of the few useful modifications Paradeisos made to her after she became the Hush.
48. She has an odd relationship with subjects unknown to her, as she is both wary of, and yet also fascinated by, anything that she has know knowledge or comprehension of, something which is quite rare given her eidetic memory and the amount of information she was taught by Paradeisos and has learned on her own.
This leads to her starting ventures into unknown subjects cautiously at first as she tests the waters before she begins to dive into them in full, hungrily devouring anything and everything she can on the subject until she feels that she is satisfied with it.
This is not something born of scholarly desire, but rather out of a desire to know what she can use and what can be used against her, alongside of it being something that she has the ability to choose to indulge in without being ordered to do so, it is also something she does to further cultivate her seemingly all knowing image to instill both respect and unease in those around her.
Among the subjects she has studied are things such as tailoring, animal husbandry (Christina learned far too much regarding breeding habits of animals when she was researching it), entomology (She felt it wise to learn more about her arachnid foes), cooking, and cocktail making.
49. It is a standing rumor in the Bureau that Shalom’s coat is able to repair itself, as no matter what is done to it, be it burned or slashed, it is always in immaculate condition the next time anyone sees her wearing it.
The truth is much less fanciful though, as Shalom simply owns many copies of her coat that she can use when she is unable to fix one of them or have a tailor fix it for her, with her having allocated a rather large sum simply to replacing and repairing her coats when they get damaged.
She at one point had to have a whole new batch made for her as, despite not being contaminated when the Garden and Langley unleashed a hell of spiders into her room, she one day went to put on one of her coats and found a rather large tarantula inside of it.
How it got there, she had no idea, only knowing that it was the doing of someone in the Bureau, especially given she has spider-proofed her room to the best of her ability since the ‘prank’ pulled on her.
Needless to say, she promptly had Schorl burn each of her coats for safety reasons.
50. She is very well aware of the irony of her name's meaning and of her profession and the deeds she has committed, with her finding it to be somewhat humorous in a rather dark way, with her using it as a part of several rather dark jokes that she makes when free of Schorl’s gaze.
51. While Shalom claims to have something of a Black Thumb when it comes to gardening, few know just how bad her attempts at gardening have ended over the course of her attempts at it.
As not only has she managed to kill the vast majority of her own plants, including ones that should not be easily killable by any stretch of imagination, but she has also managed to, through means known to not even Paradeisos, cause plants that others are tending to on her behalf to die whenever she tries any attempt at caring for them.
She was particularly upset the day she managed to kill a rose that Rosa had given her, with the maid having to visit the Bureau to console her former employer over the matter, said maid would later confide to the Chief that the flower was artificial and it should not have been possible for it to die.
52. Shalom very much enjoys egging people on when the chance arises, utilizing her position as a Paradeisian and her own connections to put people who have managed to earn her ire in a position of wishing to strike at her, but being unable to do so.
In particular, she enjoys doing this to high ranking officials or such that try and interfere in her aiding the Chief, finding the expressions they make as they grit their teeth in silent and indignant fury at her to be amusing to no small extent.
She is confident that should anything occur, Rahu would protect her, though her bodyguard has told her many times to cease her antics or to at least reign in her antics so that she did not have to have her hands on her weapons everytime Shalom meets an official that annoyed her.
The only response she received from Shalom was an amused smile and the faintest hint of exasperation from Schorl as the Hush went to another meeting with a board of officials, said meeting nearly devolved into a full on brawl due to her pitting them against one another as she sat back and enjoyed the show.
It is safe to say that Rahu has come to dread seeing Shalom smile during meetings.
53. She has many times commissioned Cassia to make perfume for her, with her finding the perfumers products to be vastly superior to even the perfumes that she would find in luxury stores in Eastside.
A part of the deal she has with Cassia is an exchange of fragrances so to speak, as she will let the perfumer take samples of her hair to make into perfume in exchange for custom perfumes, though her donations to help Cassia built her own Atelier within the Bureau don't hurt either.
Cassia considers the perfume she has made from Shalom’s hair to be an oddity, not just due to it smelling of a form of flower she has not smelled before, her best guess being some form of lily, with a rather spicy undercurrent of something akin to cinnamon, but also the feeling of peace it seems to bring the one wearing it, though she claims the feeling of peace feels…unnatural to her.
The perfumer would work to refine the perfume made of Shalom’s hair for several months before she seemed to reach some form of breakthrough, though it did not seem to be a desirable one as she soon destroyed the product and went back to her earlier iteration of the scent.
Why she did so, she would never say, but the look of pity and unease in her eyes when she looks at Shalom since her experiment ended, tells a tale all of its own.
54. She finds Hella to be rather adorable, though she is admittedly somewhat envious of the sheer amount and depth of emotions the young Syndician can feel, along with the ease at which she is able to display and switch between them.
Nonetheless, she has come to be rather fond of the gremlin’s antics, with her considering it a pleasant interruption to her day whenever she sees the hellion causing chaos within the Bureau, with her having gone so far as to aid her in her escapes and antics for her own amusement.
She is also oddly protective over the Syndician, as she has come to the conclusion that Hella is a vital component to the Chief’s happiness, and a valuable means of keeping her safe, and as such she takes many steps to insure that the little hellion is safe during her outings.
Hella once confronted her on the matter, surprising Shalom with her awareness of her involvement, the pair speaking for a while on their thoughts on the matter, with the Rat Queen Of Syndicate surprising Shalom with her maturity and intelligence during their conversation.
In the end Hella agreed to endure her meddling and watch, in exchange for her monitoring and protecting Ninety-Nine as well, with the gremlin threatening Shalom with going to the Chief and ruining her image in the Chief’s eyes if anything happened to the Berserker.
Shalom had chuckled at the statement, an honest chuckle of amazed amusement at the girl's audacity, before she acquiesced to her demand with grace, smiling to herself as she re-evaluated her opinion on the girl who finished her tea before she left.
Before Hella had left the room, however, she had asked her how it was she deduced that it was her that was involved, something which made Hella pause before she turned to look at her over her shoulder and said-
“I had a hunch it was someone high up, didn't know who though, so I took a gamble on it being you and you confirmed it for me.”
Shalom had been incredulous for a moment before she began to chuckle once more, basking in both her surprise and the genuine emotion she felt as she watched the young woman leave, silently vowing to herself to see the full potential of the young girl one day.
55. And the final one, is that Shalom fully expects to never truly achieve her happy ending and to die before she can be fully free of the shadow of Paradeisos, to never be able to watch movies with the Chief, see Rahu freed from her hatred, watch as Christina and Thistle grow together, or witness Coquelic and her Garden claim their own pound of flesh from both the Underground and Paradeisos.
Because of this, everything she has done and continues to do is her rigging the board as much in favor of the Chief and those she feels deserve it as possible, all to insure that once she is gone they will still be safe and can reach their own happiness.
She knows that nothing she has done can make up for even a fraction of the sins she has committed, but at the very least she hopes that these sins can pave the way to heaven for her loved ones while she descends into hell where the Hush belongs.
She could burn with a smile on her face, so long as she knows they will be safe and happy.
And with any luck, she will drag Paradeisos down to the depths of hell with her, so that they can all burn along with the monster they created.
And that is it, everything we have for Shalom, and our longest post on this sub to date, we hope you all enjoy it and that you share your opinions and thoughts on what we have here, along with some of your own headcanons should you wish to do so.
Till next time, stay safe and take care.

So I have recently been diagnosed with Antiphospholipid Syndrome and Lupus Anticoagulant..to be honest, I still don't know a lot about it and have only had 1 visit with a hematologist so far. I am a 29 year old female and have 2 children, with non-complicated pregnancies. During my appointment with the hematologist he told me to take a baby aspirin every day and that I have to quit my birth control (I am on the pill, and have been for about 13 years with no issues) I had no idea that the hormones in the birth control pills were really bad specifically for being high risk for blood clots.. Well, I also have Rheumatoid arthritis and have been diagnosed for 6 years now. Seronegative. Not a very typical case..so it's been rough finding medication to help. I am currently on 15mg of methotrexate a week, I've only been on this medication 5 weeks, but I do see some improvement. ANYWAYS my rheumatologist says with the methotrexate I HAVE to be on birth control because of obvious reasons, but now I'm torn on what to do. I know I am done having children but with state insurance I don't think they will "approve" me to get my tubes tied. There is one option for non hormonal birth control and that's the IUD but there is a reason I've never pursued it before. Should I push for trying to get my tubes tied? Could my partner get a vasectomy and I not have to take any bc? (He said he'd be willing to) I'm just at the point where I want to manage my autoimmune conditions without having to worry about getting pregnant/changing birth control for the first time at almost 30 years old. Also if anybody has both antiphospholipid syndrome and RA, do you have any advice? I have not had an actual clot yet but I've been tested for them many times and have an ECHO in a month. Sorry for the long post!

Hey!
I was doing some reading (books and actual history) and I am thoroughly confused about what kind of level does asoiaf boast in terms of medicine.
Cersei somehow knows about Sperm cells, as shown in AFFC.

Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace, she thought, slipping a third finger into Myr. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons of my face and fingers one by one, al those pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs

Which seems to imply that germ theory might already be common knowledge at the citadel. And for that to happen, there have to be bloody microscopes at the citadel.
Qyburn and Aemon are apparently on the edge of inventing penicillin, having already somehow created poultices made of mouldy bread.

Maester Aemon shuffled to the bedside, one hand on Grenn's shoulder. "Jon, be gentle with yourself. It is good that you have woken, but you must give yourself time to heal. We drowned the wound with boiling wine, and closed you up with a poultice of nettle, mustard seed and moldy bread, but unless you rest . . ."

Qyburn looked in his eyes. Whatever he saw there gave him pause. "Very well. I will cut away the rotten flesh, no more. Try to burn out the corruption with boiling wine and a poultice of nettle, mustard seed, and bread mold. Mayhaps that will suffice. It is on your head. You will want milk of the poppy—"
Which again, if germ theory is common knowledge, I don't see why this can't be far behind.
We already know disinfectant for wounds is a thing, again look at Qyburn's previous quote as well as this

Then Grand Maester Pycelle was looming over him, holding a cup, whispering, "Drink, my lord. Here. The milk of the poppy, for your pain." He remembered swallowing, and Pycelle was telling someone to heat the wine to boiling and fetch him clean silk, and that was the last he knew.

The wine soon began to steam. Ser Maynard found Dunk's good silk tunic, sniffed at it suspiciously, then slid out a dagger and began to cut it up. Dunk swallowed his protest.
"Ambrose Butterwell has never been what you might call decisive," Ser Maynard said as he wadded up three strips of silk and dropped them in the wine. "He had doubts about this plot from the beginning, doubts that were inflamed when he learned that the boy did not bear the sword. And this morning, his dragon's egg vanished, and with it the last dregs of his courage."[Click to expand...]()
And apparently, aspirin is a thing, or well its derivative is a well utilized drug, if the Night's watch having access to it is any indicator. (ASOS JON VII)

His leg still hurt like blazes when he put his weight on it. He'd needed Clydas to help him don his fresh-washed blacks and lace up his boots that morning, and by the time they were done he'd wanted to drown himself in the milk of the poppy. Instead he had settled for half a cup of dreamwine, a chew of willow bark, and the crutch. The beacon was burning on Weatherback Ridge, and the Night's Watch had need of every man.

But then, we go back to the early middle-age practice of understanding medicine in four humors, as seen in the treatment of Greyscale.

The only way not to breathe the fog is not to breathe. "Garin's Curse is only greyscale," said Tyrion. The curse was oft seen in children, especially in damp, cold climes. The afflicted flesh stiffened, calcified, and cracked, though the dwarf had read that greyscale's progress could be stayed by limes, mustard poultices, and scalding-hot baths (the maesters said) or by prayer, sacrifice, and fasting (the septons insisted). Then the disease passed, leaving its young victims disfigured but alive. Maesters and septons alike agreed that children marked by greyscale could never be touched by the rarer mortal form of the affliction, nor by its terrible swift cousin, the grey plague. "Damp is said to be the culprit," he said. "Foul humors in the air. Not curses."

Same can be seen with the use of Leeches, and bloodletting. (They are also a dark age practice, not High Middle Age as ASOIAF tends to be in the common medical practices)

"I know." Lord Bolton sighed. "His blood is bad. He needs to be leeched. The leeches suck away the bad blood, all the rage and pain. No man can think so full of anger. Ramsay, though … his tainted blood would poison even leeches, I fear."

I am writing a fanfic where my main character is going to get challenged with the medical practices of the age. I need to find a suitable area where he can develop the medical field of the world into, (He has some powers to aid him, he's basically Superman) But to do that, I need some general idea of where ASOIAF lies for its medical field, because what I have seen is all over the place.
I hope this is the right forum for this, but some help would be appreciated.

Please, I'm losing my mind, don't know what to do, and need advice. I am a person who almost never goes to the doctor, and have felt like I've been in good health. I never take pain meds, not even Aspirin when I have a headache. This is long, but I greatly appreciate whoever takes the time to read. About 6 weeks ago in March, I drove kinda far from home and i had to pee badly while driving, but I got caught in a traffic jam. So I held it too long. The next evening I urinated and it felt like razor blades. After that, I had major UTI-like symptoms: Constant urge to pee, frequency, major bladder irritation, burning in penis. I could not tell when I had to go or didn't, because no matter what, it felt like I had to go, so I'd "guess" and try every hour or so. I swore I had a UTI. I went to urgent care twice. The second urgent care visit they gave me 7 days worth of Bactrim. The second day of Bactrim I felt a lot better, than worse on days 3, 4, 5 of Bactrim. Then Day 6 of Bactrim I felt a lot better. I didn't take day 7 because I got bad diarrhea from the Bactrim. After that, things got worse again. I always felt like I couldn't completely empty my bladder. I would have horrible "flare ups" of the bladder and urethra. Whenever the bladder didn't flare up and I'd get a break, I would constantly have this ache and pain and bulge feeling up in the rectum, which I swore had to be my prostate. Most of the time (then and even now) right after I urinate, I get pain in the rectum or flare up of bladder, and often some burning in the penis. I have since been to my primary doctor twice., I've had 5 urine cultures done total, which all show up negative for bacteria. I've had bloodwork done twice. I've had an X-ray. I've had a CT scan done. I had a history of kidney stones from over ten years ago, but the CT scan shows no stones present anywhere at this time. I did a colon cancer screening test and it came back negative. I've also now been to a urologist twice. He examined my prostate. He also reviewed the CT scan and altho the scan results did say "heterogenous prostate with central calcifications", the urologist said he's not worried about it at all, it's not very enlarged, and everything looks totally normal on the CT scan. The urologist has now just referred me for Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy. I never knew what this PT was, nor what pelvic floor muscles even were, prior to this. He said to go to pelvic floor PT for 12 weeks, and if things don't improve, he will then put a scope up into my bladdeurethra etc. The problem I'm having now is that it's going to take weeks to schedule and get into Pelvic Floor PT, but last night I had a "bladdeurethra" flare up that was SO bad (the WORST one so far) all night long, I thought that I was going to literally die. Today the discomfort has slightly subsided, from a "10+" to a "6". The past week I actually had LESS flare ups and things seemed a little better, but last night was the very worst of the worst. I've been struggling for 6 weeks to live, work, and function with what feels like the worst UTI and prostate infection of all time. I can't go on like this, but there seems to be no solution anytime soon. Plus who knows if this Physical Therapy will even help, and if this is the real issue? No one has even prescribed me pain meds to get me thru the interim. The only thing that's taken my pain away temporarily was having a drink of Jack Daniels last week. I should also mention that my blood work from my primary Dr shows extremely high PTH and extremely low Vitamin D. I don't know if the urologist saw this on my chart, I forgot to mention it to him. My primary Dr prescribed high vitamin D supplements once a week. My primary dr also wants me to go an endocrinologist and a general surgeon about the very high PTH count. It may be a totally separate issue from this current urinary problem, but i don't know if I can even go to an endocrinologist with my current urinary tract flare up situation. Come to think of it, I don't know if I can even drive to pelvic floor physical therapy whenever I can schedule it. So in a word, I've been in torture for 6 weeks. I had excruciating kidney stones years ago, but I would actually RATHER have a kidney stone than these severe bladdeurethra flare ups !!!! I also feel now like altho I feel I can empty my bladder now, it often feels like someone is pinching where my bladder and urethra meet at the very top of my penis. Also, even though these symptoms seemed to start immediately one day, as mentioned above, thinking back I did have a couple of incidents in prior months. In December, I actually wet myself (first time in my life) a little bit, after drinking a lot of alcohol. I also did have a day of slight urgency in January, and had a weird reaction when I tried to urinate....Nothing came out but then some leaked out when I went to zip up my pants. So maybe this wasn't just a totally sudden onset thing after all?. In any event, I cannot identify any specific triggers for flare ups. I've had high stress days at work with little flare up, but relaxed stress free days with major flare ups. I've drank soda/Pepsi sometimes with no flare ups, and just water with major flare ups. Well thanks for listening. Any guidance or insight would be appreciated so much. Thank you.

Does anyone else experience neck pain (and/or feel the need to crack their neck via self adjustment) + headaches (sometimes just pressure on forehead) when their HBP Rx begins to take effect?
The only thing that usually helps has been me (38M) taking 2 tablets of Excedrin and 1 tablet of Tylenol (total: acetaminophen 1,000mg, aspirin 500mg, and caffeine 130mg). The first time I started the new HBP Rx (Verapamil), I almost left work because of the pain. However, one of the work nurses suggested that I take Excedrin, and Excedrin has definitely helped. However, I have been on this new HBP Rx for over 4 months and I still have to take Excedrin and Tylenol. I was hoping that my body just needed to get used to it and then the neck pain + headache would eventually go away. Unfortunately, it has not.
Due to side effects or allergic reactions, I've been through all classes of HBP Rxs, and have even been on multiple HBP Rxs within the same class. I'm currently on Aliskiren 300mg and just added Verapamil 120mg. Aliskiren alone does not produce neck pain + headaches. I have been naughty and have taken Verapamil alone for a week and it seems it's Verapamil that has been causing neck pain + headaches. Admittedly, with this current HBP cocktail, my BP is beautiful: 120/77; however, it seems to come at the price of a "buy one get one free" symptom of neck pain + headaches.
Additional Background Information: When I was younger, I recall my father telling his GP that he didn't want to go up in dose with Lisinopril (I can't take Lisinopril because it causes me to have really bad hacking coughs + GERD) because he would get neck + shoulder pain. He attributes the neck+shoulder pain to his BP being in the "good range" and justified that he knows his body and his body prefers having a slightly elevated BP (135/90-ish), which is "[his] normal". Mind you, he has had transient ischemic attack strokes and 2 ischemic strokes. I don't want to be like him and get strokes because strokes do run on both sides my of family.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did it ever go away? What helps?

“There, barring any kind of outrageous raids this fortress is set for the next 10 years. Enough trade, industry, food production, housing, moral support to help defend from cascades, waterfall showers to keep the happy little drunks clean, and on good terms with both the elves and goblins.” The man said to no one but an empty room. Well, empty is a word one would use to describe a room with just one person talking to themselves, but empty was a disservice to what this room was in reality. It was a collection of history and wishes of the future. A showcase of what hard work and sharp minds can and will achieve, as long as nothing too big gets in their way. Almost two decades of making those on video for a glimpse of internet fame, enough to make both ends meet and fund his own journey of discovery. For a bit anyway.
The full size replica of Gutenbergs’ printing press sat in the middle of the cameras’ view, center stage behind the person playing the game for his audience. On top of it rested the miniature multi barrel roller press and plate etching vats he was really proud of. Too bad the video on that didn't do better, must have been one of the “too technical” ones. But still, it was a snapshot of learning and what he had to offer the world to better understand itself. The brachistochrone racetrack sat next to the other simple demonstrations from over the years, such as the hammer and feather, the electromagnetic nail, and the water fueled flamethrower. All in the back corner behind the larger and more complicated displays that could be moved and were economical to power during the stream. The atlas bridge and space elevator in particular was an excessively easy model to make given the idea it’s trying to emulate, but then again it was just a cool idea until it’s at the right scale. Nothing compared to that wild idea of making an entire 12 volt DC motor, from raw, raw materials And the list goes on, but you ain’t here for that list, are you?
“And in less than three years. Time to pay up GobSlob__773, you owe chat 10 subs. ”GobSlob__773: “naw” “Come on, you are the one that got this challenge going, you really going to go back on your word like that? ”GobSlob__773: “yup” “And if I asked nicely?” GobSlob__773: “I’d laugh harder”
“....Thanks. But hey it’s almost nine anyway and I already won so I’m going to call it a night.” and without even waiting for the chat box to respond, they flicked the switch and shut the room down, all that was left afterwards was the main light overhead and an old man. An old man and a burning, stabbing pain in his left arm?
“Oh no” It was a worst case scenario. His chest tightens, it’s hard to breath. He forces himself to cough as hard as he can. Each breath a little deeper but not deep enough to keep this going. “Aspirin!” came to the mans mind. He had talked to his doctor about the heart problems that ran in his family but all the doc had to say was to eat more fiber and less eggs. If this was a blockage then the blood thinning effects of aspirin will buy more time, hopefully enough time for him to dial 911, at least.
The bathroom was just outside the room and across the hall. “Close enough to get to” He told himself, trying to not let the feeling that it might have been a lie creep in as he reached over and flicked the switch on for the room, starting up not only all the flashy bits, but the computer and the bash script he wrote to auto start everything at the flick of that switch. That was his hail mary pass, the last chance he has if everything fails. “Oh shit, maybe the movies aren't stretching things too far” he thinks he says out loud as he comes to at the edge of the room, more exhausted than he has ever been in his 77 years of life. “Just a step and another step and you can fall onto the sink” Again unsure if he was simply screaming this loud enough in his own head that he could hear himself saying it or if those words really where coming out of his mouth.
But what he was sure about? Tired, so so tired. He’s not even sure when the pain stopped in his arm, but the chest is still tight.
”Why is my chest tight?”
“I’m just so tired.”
“I could just lay down right here, take a quick na..”
“NO!! This is hypoxia, I’m experiencing heart failure due to an aortic blockage. I need to focus, two more steps. Get the drugs, thin the blood, call 911, get a fucking google with voice…
Nearly 70 years of doing it himself fell onto his own chest, it didn’t matter if it hurt, there are bigger problems right now. Again his right fist slammed into his chest this time bringing with it the years he learned metal forging. Again, carrying the weight of decades of concrete forms. Again, with the weight of thousands of miles of electrical highline.
Each time his fist made contact with his chest, it didn’t stop, it kept going. Compressing the sternum inward and putting a large amount of stress onto the connecting tissue might have been something a normal person would be appalled by, but it was deep enough that any C.P. R. instructor would be beaming with pride at seeing it done.
And apparently deep enough to have done something right because his vision and mind blurred long enough that he found himself in front of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. In a flurry of hands the mirror flew open and off its hinges, crashing to the floor with a muted break. The ringing caused by the panic muffled all sounds that was not pills bottles falling out of the cabinet and into the porcelain sink bowl. Another blur of movement and more sounds of shuffling bottles, their contents rattling around and some containers falling out of the sink until a hand comes up with a blue and white bottle.
Squeezing in the sides and twisting the cap in a hurry as all that was left to get two out of the bottle and into his waiting palm. Then as quickly as they touched his skin he slapped himself in the mouth and started chewing. It hurt. What hurt? Everything.But you can’t feel pain when you are dead, right? Opening his eyes, the man looked up at his shower curtain. It was an angle he was far from used to seeing, but having your face squished up between the toilet and the bathtub was a fair bit better than being a corpse. He can breathe now and the vertigo seems to have passed, the only signs of hypoxia are the tingling in his toes and fingers, something like a smoker's first time. “Good”
“Can I get up?” His mental checklist began. Starting by moving slowly to make sure he didn’t hit his head or anything on the way down then steadying himself into a sitting position. “Ok, looks like I got lucky and nothing is broken.” He reassured himself, he might have been a tough old man but he was still that, an old man. He might be feeling well enough to move around now but he knew the shock is going to wear off soon and he’s going to crash, and he needs to be around professionals when that happens or he really is going to die. But now all that is left between him and where he left his phone was the four stairs separating the two parts of the split level home.
Four stairs that didn’t even come into his mind when he walked up them earlier this afternoon. The same four stairs that he didn’t put much thought into this time too. Right up until the moment his legs gave way from under and his grip failed him for the last time. (You Have Died.) (Primary Cause Of Death: Broken Neck.)

I can’t take any credit for this. I just had it saved in my phone from a previous sub in case anything ever…disappeared. I’m sure plenty more could be added at this point. I also am not sure how to fix any formatting errors so bear with me.
***All information is gathered from Ambers videos and what she herself has shared online with her 200k subscribers. All Names of people mention are thus public figures shown to us by Amber Lynn.***
2013:
Youtube Account Created
Amber uploaded her first YouTube video called "Nervous + Awkward + Weight Loss Vlog" on November 17, 2013
First Weigh In Video
Amber began her weight loss journey at 368 pounds.
Krystle Era
Location: Virginia
Amberlynn started filming videos for YouTube while she was dating Krystle. Krystle notably did not want to be filmed, but Amber would constantly shove the camera in her face and post the videos anyway. Its also important to note that while Amber was dating Krystle, Krystle's family was allegedly paying Amber to essentially exist in their home.
2014:
Dancing Queen
In an effort to loose weight Amber decided to resurrect her dancing career. This is when she informed her audience she had choreographed dance routines and had won multiple competitions. Her audience later got a first hand view of her award winning dancing. As can be expected, it seemed Amber had embellished her achievements
The 89 elbees
This is the first time we heard AMber tell us that she knew how to lose weight. She had lost 89 pounds before. We still hear about this today.
Pantry Raiding
Amber is known for her binges. Krystle's parents discovered this first hand. Krystle's parents resorted to locking the cupboards/fridge because Amber would literally eat a weeks worth of food at nighttime. She would then proceed to blame the cats and dogs.
2015:
Krystle Era Ends
Krystle ended the relationship and dodged the bullet that Amber would become to those around her.
Destiny Era Begins
Location: Florida/Kentucky
Gracie The Cat
#JusticeforGracie
Gracie was Destiny's long time cat but she went missing in summer of 2015 when she was "accidentally" let out of the house. Amber had wanted a cat of her own, but the place they lived wouldnt allow more pets. The running theory is Amber let Gracie out. Amber then bought Wasabi.
"The Nursing Home Job"
Amber got a "job" working with Destiny at a nursing home. She would filmed elderly patients without their consent or knowledge. She then eventually quit
Riding Scooters in Walmart
After Ambers job (at the nursing home) where she was on her feet "all day", the dynamic duo went on their nightly trip to Walmart. There they both rode mobility scooters despite the fact neither one needed them. When asked about this, Ambers reply was "I wore the wrong shoes."
2016:
Hot Cheeto Mukbang
On May 7th 2016 Amber uploaded a video called MUKBANG EAT WITH ME SPICY. This is the video that pushed her into the Mukbang limelight and is still her most viewed Mukbang to date.
Libby
Libby was a 15 year old that spent alot of time around Destiny (early 20's) and Amber (mid 20's) Amber filmed Libby (15 at the time) in the shower after barging in with a camera. Nothing was shown, but she knew she was showering and later focuses the camera on Libby walking around in a towel. Amber displayed other creepy behavior towards her
The Grave Of ABN
Amber vlogged herself and Destiny going to a graveyard to see the resting place of a child. (This was a child of one of Destinys friends) Amber was literally SINGING AND DANCING in the car on the way there to see a child's headstone. She then proceed to show the headstone with the child's full name on video. She then miss age her even though it was on the headstone. Destiny, in the video sounded very annoyed with AMber.
My Aunt Hates Me Because I'm Fat!
Amber made a video called MY AUNT LEFT ME BECAUSE IM FAT! Were Amber claimed her aunt no longer spoke to her because of her weight. In reality it was because Amber was a horrible person. The Aunt later went on the farms, and proceed to blast Amber. Amber later redacted the statement in a video called Everything Ive Lied About
Rape and Abuse Allegations / Rain and Petals Eavesdrop
In late 2016 (late August/early September), Amber posted a video where she stated that her ex, Casey , had abused and raped her while they lived together from 2008-2011 in Arizonia. The original video, titled "IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP- I WAS RAPED", has since been deleted. On September 16th, 2016, Casey posted a response video where he accused Amber of the same abusive behavior.
Amber then wrote and read a poem titled "Rain and Petals Eavesdrop" that detailed the abuse in a video that followed. She wore a black furry blanket around her shoulders, making it appear she was wearing a cape. This gave off Nights watch vibes for Game Of Thrones, make the video all that more absurd. This poem is still quoted to this day, as it is considered horrible and iconic at the same time.
2017:
Destiny Era Ends
Destiny broke up with Amberlynn on January 13th, 2017. Destiny began to date Dana Robbins exactly one month later. Destiny and Amberlynn continued to live together for some time following their breakup
The Drunk Livestream
On Valentine's Day a month after The Destiny Break-Up, Amber decided to go live, and get shitfaced. She proceeded to be petty, talk shit, cry, and made a general fool of herself**.**
Becky Era Begins
Location: Kentucky
Becky was a viewer and reached out to Amber to see if she was doing ok after seeing all of the hate she got online. Becky confesses that she said she was not looking for a relationship at the time. Amber went to meet Becky in person for a week visit, but literally never left.
Enter Eric & Ricky
Eric and Ricky were the roommates of Becky. By Amber moving in they became the new side characters of the Amberverse. Eric and Ricky were known for their shading Amber at every turn much to the delight of Haydur Nation.
Rafe & Hannah
I'm Such A Blackie
In one vlog with Rafe, Amber proceeded to don a black hat and say "I'm black on black on black. When did I become such a blackie?" Rafe proceeded to tell Amber she shouldn't say that because it sounded bad. Amber proceeded to act dumb as to why.
2018:
Beanbag In A Hurry
In one vlog when Amber was rushing out of a chinese restaurant looking for Becky, a man said, "Good Lord, the beanbag is in a hurry." This became one of the most iconic quips to Amber in the Amberverse, and is still used to this day.
The Lake, The Fall, & Twinkie
In May of this year, Amber uploaded a video called: I FELL IN THE LAKE!!! *not clickbait* Where she showed herself, Becky, Eric and Ricky going to a lake to swim. In this video Amber procced to walk into the Lake with Twinkie and fell. Twinkie, being a chihuahua, panicked once going under water and desperately tried climbing Amber to prevent herself from going under. This clip has been used to this day.
Animal Abuse Allegations (1)
Starting in 2018, Amberlynn came under fire for mistreating her animals. It has been noted that her dog, Twinkie Star, is grossly overweight. Amberlynn dismissed this by saying that Twinkie is a breed of dog that grows larger than chihuahuas usually do.
In a 2018 video Amberlynn uploaded of Twinkie in a swing, views also noticed that Twinkie's nails were long and untrimmed, which can cause a lot of pain for dogs to walk on. Amberlynn said that there were no groomers or veterinarians available and near her for her to get Twinkie groomed.
Videos also surfaced of Amberlynn and her then-girlfriend, Destiny Cook, mishandling her cat Wasabi in a YouTube Video, along with Amberlynn holding her cat by the neck.
AmberCon
In 2018 AmberCon was a joint livestream done by Micheal B Petty, Zachary Michael, Cxnt, WiLLO Davis & The Sarcastic Potato. This was the inception of Haydur Nation.
Damon White
“Damon white” was a sock account the Amber used to infiltrated facebook groups. She simultaneously defended herself and snarked on herself.
2019:
The OPTAVIA MLM
In February of this year Amber was messaged by a "nutrition coach" and told her she could help her using the program called Optavia. Amber bought into it hook line and sinker, doing zero research on the company. Optavia is a MLM company that has a very bad reputation for its dangerously low caloric intake. She bought the most expensive plan. Once she received her diet products she started the diet and quit within 24 hours.
Shrimpgate
Amber uploaded a video called "Shrimp Mukbang / Gaining Weight?" where she berated her audience and told them they should support her no matter what and she was going to do what she wanted, aka do mukbangs and screw it. She proceed to lose 10k subscribers thus called Shrimpgate.
Zachary Michael
In June Amber made a reaction to a video of Zachary Micheals. This was a huge mistake, as she edited it to make Zachary look bad. When Zachary saw this, they made a reaction back to it and pointed out everything wrong. This video is still one of their highest viewed to date. This cemented Zachary as the one of "it" reactors and is still respected in Haydur Nation.
Animal Abuse Allegations (2)
By September 2019, viewers noticed that Twinkie's nails were still long and ungroomed. On Vlogmas day 9 (December 2019), Amberlynn expressed concern for Twinkies health, as Twinkie was struggling to walk and jump on the bed. Amberlynn also said that Twinkie was shaking in pain during the day. Amberlynn then went to Walmart before going out to eat at Chili's with Becky, Destiny, and Dana. Amberlynn claimed that there were no emergency vets in her area. However, viewers noted that there was a 24 hour vet's office with a vet designed specifically for walk-ins less than 20 minutes from where Amberlynn went out to eat. This resulted in people calling animal control on Amberlynn. Amberlynn did not take Twinkie to a vet, but rather gave her Aspirin and said that Twinkie felt better the next day.
The Orignal Sub-ageddon
Amber got the old school threads nuked late 2019 early 2020. They were rebuilt and survived until Sub-ageddon 2.0
No Showering
The year of 2019 was the year Amber didn't shower. These are her words, not Haydur Nations. She revealed this to her audience in 2022
The Jeffree Star / Press On Nails Personality
One of Ambers most iconic moments is when she got on snapchat and proceed to tell her audience how much better she was then them. She than called us a "Dispektful piece of shet “
2020:
Tom Harlock
In April a youtuber named Tom Harlock (subscriber count of 1.1 Million) made a video titled "What's Wrong With Amberlynn?" In this 40 minute video he proceeded to give an over view of AMber's controversies from 2013-2019 This video sits at 2.4 Million views. Amber reacted to the video, which Tom then reacted to that. His reaction gave him another 2 Million Views. Tom had exposed alot his subscribers to Amber and had a boost in her own subscriber numbers.
Free Bleeding & The Floor Matress
Prior to Ambers Cancer diagnosis, Amber had been free bleeding for a portion of 2019 and into 2020. This meant she was aware of a very serious issue but kept saying it was a UTI. During this period, AMber had to sit on a mattress on the floor to avoid damaging Eric & Ricky's furniture.
Cancer
Amber was diagnosed with uterine cancer. She underwent a total hysterectomy. She hasnt done any following up on it, but reassures us that she is cancer free, because she knows it in her heart. There is a large portion of her community that questions whether or not she actually had cancer or, she had pre-cancerous cells resulting in the hysterectomy. Others question if she actually had cancer at all.
Panic Buying During the Pandemic
Amber was living with Eric, Ricky and the Beckster, but shared space in cabinets, pantry, fridge, and her entire own deep freezer. During the pandemic she stockpiled frozen goods, only to find the deep freezer left unplugged, and all of the food subsequently going bad. (Later she claimed to have been trolling)
Go-Fund Me Scandal
A go-fund-me was set up for Becky's mother Norma to help with treatment costs due to her cancer. Amber promoted the go fund me in a video also saying everyone should watch the adds so she could use the ad revenue for it (this is against TOS for youtube and she later deleted the video). The go-fundme’s goal was 5k. This angered fans because Amber could EASY afford to give Norma 5k due to Amber's high income at the time, but, some fans did in fact donate. Later, It was leaked via voice notes that Amber herself had sent Norma that Amber never gave her the money and actually was very rude to her.
2021:
Nickocado Avocado
Nickocado has been known to make parodies of Amberlynn. At the beginning of this year, Nick made a parody that had strong suggestions that Amber may have confided to him that she faked her cancer. This stirred up a lot of speculation in the community that has lasted to date.
Posting Old Videos
Pateron
Amber started a Patreon at the beginning of 2021 where she charged 20 and 77 dollars a month because, quote, "77 is a wonderful number". She posted poems she had wrote years ago and could be found for free on the internet. Her supporters where very unhappy. She later deleted her patreon with a quickness after collecting her coin.
Selling Mystery Earrings
Over many years of spending sprees where she purchased hundreds of earrings from Target, Walmart, Shein, and other places, Amberlynn decided to open a Depop store called "lovelyearrings", where she would sell random sets of earrings to her viewers and anyone who was interested. Only a few hours after she posted the video announcing the store opening , the store was mass reported and closed by Depop due to mystery items not being allowed for sale on their service.
The Livestream Era
Amberlynn stopped doing vlogs and regular video content around May and instead began doing livestreams where only members who paid a subscription fee every month could talk in. Most of the time she ignored the chat and only responded to superchats. This made her viewers extremely angry. She also claimed to pay Becky after the Becky Break-up for said livestreams which Becky than verified she never did.
Becky Era Ends
#freebecky
Wifey Jade Era Begins
Location: Kentucky
Jade (aka wifey) started dating Amberlynn at neck breaking speed after the break-up. Jade moved in with Amber while Becky was still living in the apartment. Once Jade got there Becky ran away as fast as she could.
Apathetic Faxx
Amber went on rampage and started striking channels down, saying they were stealing her views. Most notable being Apathetic Faxx. She got Apathetic Faxx's channel completely removed. The channel was later reinstated, and now gets even more views than before.
2022:
My Girlfriends Name is Alex
In a desperate attempt to undox Jade (when she was the one who originally doxxed her) she tried to convince her audience she had a new girlfriend named Alex, when in fact it is and was still Jade. Unfortunately for her, we are not dumb.
Ring Gate
Before the Becky Break-Up Amber and Becky were engaged. There was controversy over whether or not Amber had paid for her engagement ring. She venomously denied this only for it to come out later that she had paid for it. Post breakup, Becky was hard up for cash and was trying to sell the ring, after AMber said she could keep it. When the ring was listed it was a size 10, Amber being a danity queen said her finger size is a 9 and Becky must have messed up the listing. Amber then made Becky return the ring, and Amber sold it herself to a fan who then confirmed it was a size 10
Outpatient Eating Disorder Program
After years of viewers insisting that she get help with her issues with food, Amberlynn finally "enrolled herself" into a psychiatric program. After her first meeting with the therapist, she was already doubting the program due to the therapist wanting her to do intuitive eating. This seems to have been all bullshit.
FBI Frank
In May Amber told her viewers that a totally real FBI agent named Frank had reached to her and was monitoring her comments for hate and threats. He then told her how impressed he was with her sub count.
The Nader Apology
Amber apologies to Foodie Beauty's ALLEGED abuser for calling him a narcissist in a previous community post. Foodie fires back after damaging footage of Nader is leaked. Amber desperately then tries to backtrack. This "feud"continues during "The Great Fall" when Foodie makes fun of Amber's cankle.
Ozempic Arc
Amberlynn finally took the plunge and started Ozempic. She proceeded to actively loose weight, but as Ozempic is designed to suppress your appetite, AMber couldn't have that. She refused to up her dosage to insure it would keep working. After The Stevie Wonder Conspiracy we stopped hearing about Ozempic. Viewer's assume she quit taking it so she could keep eating
It's Becky's Fault
In the summer, Amber accused Becky of not taking Amber's health seriously, thus delaying her getting treatment. Becky fired back at this obvious lie saying, herself Ricky and Eric all took Amber's health very serious. In fact , it was Amber that did not, and refused to seek out medical treatment
The Great Fall
Amber took a great fall of a sidewalk and said she broke/tore/sprained/ her foot was dangling. This is a case of thou dost protest to much making countless videos trying to prove her injury leading many to believe the fall was no where as bad as she made it seem.
Sub-ageddon 2.0
In fall of this year, Amber got both the AmberlynnReid Snark and AmberlynnYT subreddits taken down. Both sat at roughly 49K plus members. After that multiple other threads where nuked. After this happened her views began to drop. One sub stands too date. All subs have been scrubbed.
Clickbaiting Thyroid Cancer
Amber has been known to weaponize her previous uterine cancer. So when she titled a video "thyroid cancer, pancreatitis, side effects, price / is Ozempic still working?" In the video she then stated "No human has ever gotten thyroid cancer from Ozempic" (hence the clickbait) viewers were not amused. Amber changed the title of her video to "risk of thyroid cancer, pancreatitis, side effects, price / is Ozempic still working?" only after getting her views.
Stevie Wonder Conspiracy
In an effort to distract viewers from Clickbaiting Thyroid Cancer She talked about "fun" conspiracies she believes in. The one that really upset viewers was when she said Stevie Wonder faked being blind. She later issued an apology.
The Partially Collapsed Lung Fluid On The Lung Nodule On The Lung
False Flags
It was later revealed she had walking pneumonia, but allowed viewers to build up concern and sympathy for her well being before finally telling the truth.
Lipedema
Late this year Amber was officially diagnosed with Lipedema. She announced this is why she can't lose weight. She also announced that she would be doing keto in an attempt to lose weight. She quit after a week, saying that it caused her gallstones to flair up.
Halloween Livestream
On Halloween Amber went live and proceeded to eat edibles. This was a first for views as we have never seen her high. Also durning the livestream Amber proceeded to talk shit about The Narc Alert. When her chat told her The Narc Alert had had a heart attack, she said she didnt feel bad for her and didnt care. After getting backlash, she issued a statement saying that viewers took it in the wrong way and out of context. She also verified that she was no longer taking Ozempic per doctors orders.
Bambi / Faline
During Vlogmas Amber began calling Jade Faline. This still continues to this day much to the annoyance of her audience
2023:
My Subscriber Made Me Binge
In January Amber received a box of Australian candies and weight watcher products from a subscriber. Amber claimed she had not been binging but the box of treats was the reason she did. She was admitted on this being the subscribers fault for sending her the box, instead of taking responsibility for her own actions.
FBI FRANK APPROVES THIS TIMELINE

Sorry if this is not the most well formatted post! Im wondering if anyone else has experienced worsening periods on effexor?
Ive been on effexor for years, since i was relatively young. My periods have always been really miserable. Cant walk, in pain for hours with aspirin and ibuprofen working double duty, horrible horrible mental state, etc. Its very bad.
Recently i experimented with lowering my dose of effexor, ive been on it so long and a lot of the most depressive aspects of my life had been resolved, so i wanted to get a baseline. I reduced the effexor a little over a few months, and suddenly my periods arent quite so bad! Reducing your depression meds though will, on occasion, make you depressed, so i increased again. Im on slightly less than my usual, and all of a sudden im having a very very bad period. Heavy flow (birth control i take to manage the periods often means very little bleeding) and cramps so bad i threw up and get lightheaded. Does anyone else have any info or sources to look into this?
Tldr: effexor goes down, cramps go down. Effexor goes up, cramps go up. Is this real or am i being insane?

Excuse the messy post, my brains so inflamed, I slept 15 hours last week. Please read what you can. Thanks
Sjogrens/mctd/dermamyositis/immunodeficiency or not?- rituxan or plasma xchange? Or???
I laid off everything for years as far as supplements. Please recommend any. Natural stuff I tend to react to lately; that and aspirin? Figh oil sent me to hospital with 180/130 and a sustained 130 yeat rate 2 weeks ago which I haven't been able to get under 100 since, baby aspirin did similar except it lasted a day that time, no more.l
Im wondering if anyone has been Ina a situation where your immune system causes havoc after cipro or levo with rhuematic disrase/ zero to low Ana nuclear speckled? Skin slaughifn off with warm water. To the point I had hypogabaglomenia after the 39 days in cipro. Hyperpigmentation, amyloid, perivascular inflamtion, cd19+ elevated and rising , reticulocytosis, normal crp, high mid esr, pain so bad in nerves (face isn't spared), I'm going to be homeless soon unless I make a move and try a treatment. Currently pcp said what I've been saying all Along, my immune system is under active and over at the same time
Since about the time i took scig, my veins just bust open and my brainstem shakes. Large iamounts of intermittent sterile blood in urine picked up periodically, I'm thinking I have high ceinous pressure or a vascular said maybe I'm having vein spasms. With the heart and kidney issues I'm thinking maybe renal vascular disease but my renal issues are pretty much saltnwsting. I read this can be from hydrocephalus. Then I worry about bleeds as platelets can shoot intin 548k for weeks with sterile blood inurine and go way. Initial endon(renal) workup was normal or actually showed low levels of everything. I started prednisone 40 Mg a day on and off end of year. Besides a inverted sleeping schedule, I was good to work every other day. Not anymore: Since then I also had cartlidge destroyed inside my nose and I think my throat as well. I can feel a wheeze at the trachea and the drs can ad well with a scope. So this stuff caused some Really bad autoimmuenstuff and continues nothing they've been able to find on record except some "Obscure antibody in my mouth that provides less than 5% of saliva. Neuro says that's enough for Rhuem diagnosis, not the rhuems
got on subcutaneous immunoglobulins. Severe reactions eventually happened about 4-6 weeks after taking infusions. Dr wanted to call it chemical encephalitis but I didn't let him, I told him, it's a very steady thing. Every few days, my vision and hearing, my nervous system just goes haywire and if I stop taking it viola, it dies down, goes away. If I push it, it'll eventually end up with me like a crazy person, hurts my eyes to hear and hurts my ears to see. Yea, so he agreed. He said that's not how chemical encephalitis is. It just hits hard when you get it and that's that.
So I never really had immune issues for the past 3 years or so after the last round of infusions ..: until recently. On top of it, I react to everything now. Reactivations causing sores all Over and skin manifastarions,sores in mouth and pustules in genitals, been in bed form2 weeks straight because pericardial Effusion has apparently gotten worse(January/.I need to recheck it).blood pressure pills to nothing after just going to kitchen, 150/100 with 150 hr ask 93 when laying . No oxygen or blood feels lien it's makifnn to brain, bvurriness,'l most of all breathlessness
0'ana since started prednisone while it does help my joints , it helps my painful urethra, stomach and bladder (dr said it's weird it's helping all This: all this stuff usually gets worse)- I've apparently always had a "very slight ig2 deficiency which shouldn't do anything to me because you have a nice igg", to course after course of Levo and cipro from something they'd see in imaging as "almost pneumonia. Hundreds of pills in a year".
I had been on prednisone since end Of year on and off, sepsis markers 3 times, dr said this stuffs going to kill me. It's a catch 22. It's I couldn't even drink water without them, I couldn't urinate without them, I got back on them. They made me so hungry and fat in such a short amount of Time and the nerve pain makes me want to die. It's in the face, my heart has fluid aroud It, low lung capacity (with markings) when I make the most minute movements per xray, last bronch 2 years ago, so besides getting fat and diabetes, the number one issue is nerve pain. Neuro proposed trying to get plasma exchange approved: hoping for best expecting worse. Idea rituxan would had been a good choice if it wasn't for my immunodeficiency . I'm debating to ask for a prophylaxis? But are these even strong enough? I know they won't help with viral reactivation. He said he's 50% sure I'm having EBV reactivation align side everything. 10/10'in er (I now what a 10/10 is , I've broke my back in 3 places and have markedly severe stenosis, a t2-t9 fusion. Acquired 2x bends and kyohosis along with a bunch of other junk.
Not seeking medical advice, I see drs weekly. I'm seeking personal experiences, I'm trying to not die here. My 2 oldest kids don't have a mom, they're spectrum and I can't die yet even though my pro said this will eventually take my life.

I’m a little confused about preeclampsia. I would appreciate some insight!
I’m 27 years old FTM at 33 weeks and 3 days. Around 28 weeks, I started experiencing slightly swollen feet and hands but it wasn’t too bad. In week 30, I suddenly started feeling sudden extreme fatigue, nausea, and dizziness that never went away. My first and second trimesters were very mild in terms of these symptoms. I messaged my OB, and the nurse had me up my hydration and keep track of my blood pressure that stayed around the 115-130/70-80 range over the course of 2 days. Still didn’t feel great. Nurse said that my blood pressure seems to be stable and that I’m experiencing normal pregnancy symptoms.
Fast forward to yesterday, I went on a one-mile walk around the neighborhood. Towards the end of the walk, my hands started swelling up really bad to the point that I couldn’t bend my fingers/close my hand. My arms felt heavy and it was extremely uncomfortable. I got home and sat on the couch for a few minutes to see if it would go down, and then I called the after-hours nurse line.
While I was waiting for the call back I took my blood pressure, it was 114/90. It was about 5 minutes later when they called me back. I explained the situation and she said it can be normal, especially since the heat and humidity have picked up, but it could also be a sign of preeclampsia. She had me take my blood pressure again and it was 140/88. She said that was a little high. She had me lay on my left side and wanted me to take my blood pressure again with the cuff on my right arm. It was 140/93. She was concerned with that number and said that I might need to come in to get checked. She talked a bit about preeclampsia and what it meant. Then, she had me take my BP again about 2 minutes later on my side and it came out to be 122/63.
She asked if I had any other symptoms like blurry vision/vision changes or a headache. I told her that I had a very dull headache that has been going on for a few days but it wasn’t awful. And that I hadn’t taken anything for it yet. She said that I didn’t need to come in but to be on modified bed rest for the next few days, watch out for those symptoms, and continue to monitor my BP. She also told me to take baby aspirin once a day. She told me to call back if something changes, and to call my OB’s nurse line on Monday to see if they would like me to come in sooner (next appointment is on Friday).
Since then, my BP has been 122/79 before bed, 106/67 in the morning, and 132/86 in the afternoon. Headache has gotten a little worse today and I plan to take Tylenol here in a bit.
A few other things I should note: I’ve been experiencing shortness of breath when I get in that deep fatigue/nausea/dizziness. I have some pain in my right rib cage but nothing excruciating - feels worse when I lay on the right side.
I’ll be calling my nurse line in the morning, but would appreciate some insight. I’m slightly confused about preeclampsia.
Can blood pressure spikes/sudden swelling like this be a one-off thing? Can you have normal BP readings majority of the time with a few spikes but have preeclampsia? What is considered blurry vision? Sometimes my eyes feel out of focused/heavy/tired with a headache. What should I be bringing up with my nurse phone call tomorrow that might be helpful?
Any other insight would be greatly appreciated!
UPDATE: first, thank you everyone for the insight and replies! BP stayed normal until Monday morning where it consistently stayed above 140/90. Checked in with the nurse line at 9:30 AM and was told to monitor and check again in an hour. Called back when it wasn’t improving/creeping up. Nurse wanted to check with the doctor to see what she’d like me to do and said she’d call back. 2 hours went by and nothing so I called back but got voicemail. Waited another hour before deciding to just go to L&D since my BP jumped up to 157/93. They monitored me for a few hours. BP went down, blood work was fine, but protein was present in my urine. Said the amount wasn’t too concerning but wanted me to do a 24 hour urine test. They gave me fiorcet for the headache and it went away for the most part. Said that it could remain mild preeclampsia or progress. They want to monitor me closer.

Update: I've now realised what's been causing my headaches and it most likely wasn't the medication! But thank you for those who commented! New readers please feel free to comment if you guys have any titration advice 😊
Hello! (F19) This is my first day on Elvanse 30mg. I did feel like my thoughts were clearer than usual and I found it easier to start tasks. Focussing also didn't feel like a terrible thing I had to do and I didn't feel as lethargic as usual (+ no irrational anxiety or depressive thoughts yippee). However I still get easily distracted and zone out + my forgetfulness is still there so I don't know if this is the right dose for me. I know this is literally the first day but this is what I've noted down.
My problem is that now is around about the time that it should wear off if we stick to the 12 hour recommendation (I forgot to make a note of when my symptoms seemed to get worse becasue I don't think the concentration got worse as there wasn't much of it in the first place if that makes sense).
Now reading some threads I've realised I've messed up by not keeping track of how much water I'm drinking but I've definitely tried drinking more lately and I believe I'm hydrated?? I had a headache yesterday which I noted down to either poor sleep or the poor weather. So I just assumed this headache was for the same reasons today. It started around 5-6pm and I took some aspirin but that didn't do anything. About 2 hours ago it got super bad to an extent I've never had a headache before, I want to cry it hurts so bad and is making me very slightly nauseous. I don't know what to do because I already took the pain relief.
But anyway! I thought hey, what if this might be something to do with the medicine wearing off so I just wanted to see if this is something that happens?
I believe I've read about crashes and adjusting to it which I guess makes sense because this is my first time being prescribed medicine that would impact the chemicals in my brain or whatever.
If this is the case, how long will I have to live like this? (as in headaches because of crashes rather than a permanent headache god forbid). I'm currently at uni and I have deadlines (!) And won't meet my Psychiatrist until next month.
Also, if anybody has advice about the titration period and what I should be aware of and make notes of please share I would be super grateful :) I really want to do this correctly
I really wanted this day to go great and do the majority of my work but I feel like I did less work than usual lol.
I apologise this post is all over the place but this headache is really something

Part 1
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/16hw52t/i_worked_as_an_iceroad_trucker_in_russia_along/
Part 2
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/16k0p69/i_worked_as_an_iceroad_trucker_in_russia_along/
While conditions seemed bad right now, with the truck stuck like it was, I gave thanks that at least the engine started without issue. At times, it got so cold in Siberia that the engines would fail to start. The temperature had started to increase, however, and outside the wind had died down. The snow had stopped, and looking at the thermometer I kept on the outside of the truck, I saw that it was “only” -5 degrees Fahrenheit now. I cursed, putting on many layers while I sat in the truck’s driver seat, the little girl sitting between me and Yakov on an empty bucket she had turned upside-down. She didn’t seem affected by the cold at all. She had probably grown up in far worse.
“What are you doing?” the girl said with widening eyes, watching me. I looked at her, shaking my head.
“Obviously, we have to go get your sister,” I said.
“No!” she said. “I’m not going back there! Never! I will never go back to that place!” She started to cry. “The legs… the fence… the ovens… the cages… you have no idea how horrible it is!”
“Calm down,” I said. “You have to lead us back towards the hut. You probably won’t have to go in. We just need to get your sister and come back, then we can leave. What’s your name?”
“Irina,” she said.
“That’s a very pretty name,” Yakov said. “My name is Yakov, and this is Nikolai. We’re the good guys. We can fight off that witch and bring your sister home. If we do nothing, your sister will die. You know that.” Irina nodded, wiping her eyes. Bundled up in her layers of clothing with a fur jacket on the outside, she looked almost like a little eskimo sitting here in my truck. I repressed the crazy urge to laugh at the image, remembering what was happening.
“Let’s do this,” I said, getting out of the truck. I grabbed more ammo from the glovebox, and saw Yakov grabbing some bullets from the satchel of random goods he carried around with him in a leather skin. He left the rest of his possessions in the truck, folding the leather carefully back over them and tying it with a cord.
It felt eerie, like the dawn before a major battle. I had goosebumps all over my body, and not just from the cold. The idea of going up against an infamous witch, an ogress, a child-eating monster- well, it didn’t raise my confidence. Though this happened years ago, I still remember that terrible feeling- as if everything had been leading up to this point, and now everything stood still, watching.
I had heard legends of Baba Yaga growing up, how Satan had taken twelve women who were murderers and criminals, thrown their bodies in a pot together, mixed it up- and out came Baba Yaga. Of course, I scoffed at such myths now that I was older. But seeing her there had made me question many things.
Irina went out first, not minding the cold at all, her breath coming out in steamy plumes. Yakov and I had flashlights from the truck, jumping down behind her. Their light came out dimly, but it gave enough lumination on the white snow to see. The clouds had started to part, and the Moon had come out in the sky, looking down on us like a single blind eye- like the cataract-ridden eye of Baba Yaga I had seen earlier.
As we started walking across the M56 and into the woods, that shrill, gurgling shriek came ringing out again. I knew Baba Yaga was close, likely even watching us. She might attack at any moment.
We walked further down the trail, a winding deer trail only a couple feet wide, with branches that would smack me in the face and rocks to trip over every few steps. Just as I turned to Yakov to say that we may have lost her, she attacked.
I saw a blur, then an intense pain in my side as she tackled me, knocking me quickly to the snowy ground. I kept a death-grip on my gun, smacking my head against a tree trunk- and the world went white. I drifted in and out of consciousness for a few moments, or perhaps it was longer. Time got strange. As if from a great distance, I heard gunshots and more screaming- then my vision started to return, and I focused.
I saw Yakov crouched on the ground, holding his left hand tightly. I saw a fountain of blood running over his gloves, staining the snow in strange droplets and splotches, like a Rorschach inkblot made by a serial killer.
I tried to sit up, but a lightning bolt of pain seared my brain. I groaned, raising my hand to my head. I felt something sticky on my scalp, and pulling my hand back, I saw it covered in blood. It felt warm and wet, running down from the right side of my scalp and showing no signs of slowing. I felt nauseated and weak for a second, seeing all that blood, how it stained my clothes and the snow below me. I took a few deep breaths, in and out, slowly concentrating and steadying myself. My hand still trembled, and my legs felt like jelly as I tried to stand, but I leaned against the tree and let the waves of weakness and nausea pass by.
Yakov wasn’t doing much better. He was hyperventilating, staring in shock at his spurting hand. His left thumb looked like it was mostly or entirely gone.
“We’ve… got to put pressure…” I said slowly, gulping air. “...on the wound. And ice and snow.” I began to tear a strip from one of my shirts, then walked slowly over to Yakov on unsteady legs. I looked into his eyes. They looked dark and tortured, and he quickly looked away, tears forming in his eyes from the shock and pain. Irina sat next to him on a log, and she watched in horror, looking away whenever she noticed the blood.
“Let’s do this,” I said. “Ready?” He nodded weakly. I pulled the strip of cloth around the hole where his thumb used to, running it around his hand in circles, tightening it. He screamed. I gave him a piece of wood to bite down on, and pulled it even tighter. I saw teeth marks forming deep in the wood, a solid branch one inch in diameter I had snapped in half. His breath came in and out so fast, I thought for sure he would pass out. But he kept with me. Soon I had pressure on the wound, and the bleeding had slowed considerably.
I repeated the process with my head, wrapping more strips of cloth around the bloody scalp wound and pulling. I gritted my teeth, but the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought, except for the crushing migraine. More than anything, I just felt weak, and waves of nausea kept assailing me. Splotches would rise in my vision, black dots that seemed to precede passing out, but I would sit down quickly and, after a few minutes, I had regained most of my strength.
“Let’s keep going,” I said weakly. Irina stood next to Yakov, looking petrified.
“I don’t want to go,” Irina said stubbornly. “Please don’t make me go.”
“Irina,” I sighed. “Your sister might die if we turn around. We have no choice.”
“I’m too scared,” she said. “You have no idea how bad it is there. You can’t imagine.” But after a few minutes of convincing, she continued to lead us- a ragtag group of injured men and a child, limping through the thick snow in the freezing cold.
We walked for an hour in silence, the little girl following her tracks, looking for landmarks she had passed when she had escaped the first time. She had grown up in the woods, most likely, and her family must have taught her much. I was worried about freezing to death, but then I started to notice my body growing warmer. I thought, perhaps, it was simply the first sign of hypothermia.
And yet, as we walked, I noticed changes in the forest. It actually had gotten warmer; it wasn’t just in my mind. Soon the snow had all gone. I looked around and noticed the trees were all dead, their naked arms extending up to the sky. I had to take off a jacket, then a sweater too. I saw the others doing the same, sweating as it warmed up. A fog began to roll in, covering the whole area.
“This is the space between the world of the living and the dead,” Irina said in her sweet child’s voice. It made the statement all the more horrible. “The hut is near here. This is the border of her home.” Through the mist, I swore I could see faces appearing and disappearing, the horror-stricken visages of children and eternally grinning skulls.
Soon, we came to a clearing. All the trees stopped in a large circle, a few hundred feet in diameter. In horror, I looked at what lay beyond.
A fence surrounded the property, made of children’s bones. It extended high up, at least twenty feet, countless arm and leg bones stacked one on another, bound together with twine and braced with more bones attached vertically against the others. I saw no gaps bigger than an inch, and no way to climb it. Looking at the top, I saw pieces of sharpened bones sticking up, like some razor wire from Hell. Irina shook at my side, and she grasped my hand suddenly, her small body exuding a strength that seemed beyond her physical abilities. I smiled down at her, smoothing her long, black hair with my right hand. I felt almost entirely recovered from my earlier concussion, though my head still pounded in time with the beat of my heart. I wished I had brought some aspirin.
“How do we get in?” Irina asked, taking off another sweater and hanging it over her shoulder. I had absolutely no idea.
“Let’s look around,” I said. We began to circle the fence, walking along the circumference of the clearing. I could see a hut beyond through the small gaps.
After a minute, we came to the gate. It stood twenty-feet-tall, like the rest of the fence, and would be almost impossible to scale. Unlike the rest of the fence, the gate had been fashioned entirely from skulls. I saw all the small skulls stacked one on top of another. As I imagined how many children had died to build just this macabre gate, a feeling of sickness and dread washed over me.
Sticking out of the front of it, in the exact center, I saw a larger skull. It looked like that of a man. In its open mouth, I saw a silver keyhole. In anger, I tried shaking the gate- and it came swinging open, totally silent.
“It’s open,” Yakov said, amazed. I looked at him.
“This feels like a trap,” I said. He nodded. Irina hid behind Yakov now, not wanting to look at the eternally grinning skulls stacked in front of her, bound together with some sort of invisible glue.
I looked through the gate at the hut beyond. My breath caught in my throat.
It stood on two massive legs. The feet looked like those of a chicken, but the legs loomed ten feet above the ground, where they somehow attached to the hut, holding it up suspended in the air. They were skeletal, all the flesh and muscle long ago wasted away.
“Are those chicken legs?” Yakov asked, his voice low. I felt eyes on me. I looked back into the forest, but I saw no one.
“Who the hell knows?” I asked. “But where do you get a chicken that’s the size of an elephant? Or bigger?”
“From Hell?” he asked. I laughed.
“You think they have massive chickens in Hell, just going around pecking at the Hell grains?” I said. He smiled.
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out. Let’s do this.” We began to walk forwards into the clearing. I could see the circular hut more clearly now. An inner light burned, sending out a fiery, red glow through the windows. Unlike the rest of this horrible place, it looked like the hut was actually built of wood and stone. It had a quaint look, like the hut of an ancient serf. The top of it met in a point, with thatch and twigs carefully aligned to form a rounded dome. The windows were lined with stones. Trunks of dead trees formed the main construction material, pressed one against the next, stacked vertically in a perfect circle. They had their branches cut off, their bark stripped, the wood ground down to a smooth, uniform texture.
“My sister is in there,” Irina whispered. “Please don’t make me go back. Please. You don’t know what they do in there. What she does in there.” I grabbed her hand.
“Irina, we can’t leave you behind,” I said. “I think we’re being watched. I’m sorry, but you have to come with us.” She put her head down, looking like a beaten dog. She trudged alongside us slowly as we examined the property. But we saw no sign of anyone. I sighed deeply.
“Alright, let’s go inside,” I said. “Let’s find out what horrors await us in that hut.”
As we walked forward, I heard the gate click closed behind us. I turned and looked, but I saw no one. It seemed as if it had closed on its own.
I saw, to my horror, that I would need a key to get out as well as in. Another skull, its mouth open and filled with a silver locking mechanism, stuck out on this side as well. The metal in its mouth made it look like it was choking, the eternally gaping mouth like it was screaming.
I turned away, focusing on the task at hand, hoping I would survive the next few minutes.
Part 4
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/16nl7hj/i_worked_as_an_iceroad_trucker_in_russia_along/

I received a text from this morning as a reminder that on April 27th 2014 is the anniversary of your passing. You have died from one of the most horrible deaths that anyone can suffer from but it was also short lived. You were a good man, a good father, a good grandfather, uncle, etc. You were the only positive real life role model that I’ll always have in my life as most of my role models are para-social.
I knew from a young age that everyone but you has been a negative influence on me. As both Grandma and mom are full blown untreated narcissists along with untreated mental illnesses. I feel bad for you. I didn’t like the way that grandma was treating you. She was emotionally and mentally abusive to you. She was controlling your life, even isolating you. You never stood up for yourself and I completely understand why because I’ve been in the same position as you and my dad. My first love is a narcissist like grandma and mom but he is also a sociopath. He was a dangerous person who ruined my life. Consider me lucky because he left me and you and dad had to stay with your abuser. In fact you were abused for the rest of your life to the point where grandma gave you aspirin and ibuprofen together causing a hole on your stomach eating away your organs causing respiratory failure that took your life in less than 30 days. You never deserved this.
Life hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone. Your passing tore our family apart. We don’t have family gatherings anymore, one of the children would come to town and not tell my family. She ended up with a 10 year old brain tumor where she had surgery done which came with complications. She lost 15 years of her life. I don’t think she knows you’re gone. Her and her daughter’s strange behavior has eventually caused me to disown her and the rest of her family last year. It was a tough decision but I did it. I don’t care for them anymore.
Your second born daughter now has two grandsons one is 5 or 6 and the other is around 3 years old. She and her husband moved to Florida for their retirement plus their home state has become impossible to afford to live. They at least tell us that they are coming to town. They still love to travel but they are traveling to my town often and staying in the house longer for reasons I’ll get to later.
Your first born daughter did the same thing as your third born daughter. Come to town and not tell us until after her husband passed away last summer, it was hard on me because I never got to say goodbye to him because i ended up having a bicycle wreck that almost took my life. I was unable to go to the funeral for being in a medically induced coma.
You should be proud of most people in the family and some you won’t even approve of.
My sister has finished college with a bachelor’s degree in the criminal justice field. She is now a security guard. Well me, I don’t think you’d appreciate the things I did in life. Because of the way I was treated by my family, my peers and my exes, I wanted to forget all of this abuse and turned to addiction. I started drinking and smoking at 19, using marijuana at 21 and I’ve experimented with pain killers whenever I got access to them even going as far as stealing grandmas pain killers. I do it to take all the pain and trauma away. I did go to college but dropped out because of my addictions and because my ex was so abusive that my grades dropped and I was burnt out. I’ve been arested several times for my anger issues likely inherited from both of my parents and risky behaviors. I’ve even broken into my ex’s house after he broke up with me. Our relationship was so codependent I thought that was what I had to do to get him back. But I ended up getting arrested and only served the full 2 years probation.
My addictions got so out of control on June 23rd of last year I was operating a bike under the influence of marijuana and blacked out as I was going down a steep hill, my back is broken, I’m completely paralyzed from the chest down, I can never walk again. I lost my life as an able bodied person, I can never do the physical activities I once loved to do. I survived something so horrific, I cry every time I think about it. I almost lost my life, I don’t know why I never dreamt about you while being in a medically induced coma. If I did I would choose death over life because I miss you so dearly. I still struggle with addiction to this day. I refuse to get help because I don’t want to stop getting drunk and getting high.
Now the person that you’d really know how she is. My grandma, she is suffering very slowly. She’s got full blown dementia. My mom and my aunts don’t even want to take care of her or have anything to do with her. Two of my aunts have been coming to town and staying with her for usually not even a week because she can’t take care of herself. They want nothing to do with the situation so my dad is her main care giver and he’s not even her child. Even my own mother doesn’t take care of me like she should. My dad has to juggle taking care of me and taking care of grandma. He doesn’t have time to do anything ever. She just leaves him to do all of the work. She doesn’t know who her children are, she forgets that I can’t even walk anymore, she only remembers two people, my dad, and you! She thinks about you a lot. Although I feel as she has no respect for you because all of your money was spent on junk, ER visits, opioids that she got addicted to, giving large amounts of money to other people, getting scammed on the telephone. Even though we took her checkbook it didn’t stop her for calling 911 for fake emergency room visits to obtain drugs and because she believes that she is dying. She is struggling everyday. Really dementia is a horrible thing to have. Honestly I’d rather die from what happened to you than have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
I think about you every now and then. Is it true that your spirit visited me in my dreams? I really love you and I really miss you grandpa. May you rest in paradise.