Stardoll free clothes cheats 2010

Let me explain why I will be upset tomorrow morning. On my day off, you decided to drink, despite our agreement that you would only drink on weekends when I am off or on special occasions. I asked you not to drink at the restaurant, but you did it anyway. You had a free beer from the waitress, ordered three more, and even though you said the third would be your last, you ordered a fourth. It feels like you don’t want to be sober when I’m around, and it hurts that you can’t be sober on a regular weekday.
I feel like I do most of the work at home and with the kids, and I feel overworked, but I never think about drinking to cope. When I mentioned that we needed to fold the clothes, you ordered more beer instead and then lied about it, claiming you were on the phone while you were actually drinking. You keep breaking my trust, lying to me, and breaking your promises. I feel like a joke to you.
I'm fed up. You might not remember our conversation, but I am done. You’re irresponsible, a liar, and untrustworthy. I can’t handle your drinking anymore. Every time you drink, you have an excuse, and it's not fair. I also feel overwhelmed and tired, but I shift my thoughts and energy for our children because they need me. You’ve shown me that you lack self-control, and I don’t trust leaving you alone with the kids.
You've even deleted my information from the DoorDash app to hide your beer orders from me. It's astonishing how clever you can be when you want to hide your actions. This has to stop, or I will have no choice but to seek help elsewhere. I will be changing my bank accounts because I feel you’re misusing our money. I thought my mother’s present came from our bank account, but it was paid for with borrowed money from an app.
From now on, I will take responsibility for my own expenses. I will give you $700 from my paycheck for rent and another bill of your choice, but I am done with this never-ending cycle of emotional abuse. We don’t deserve this. I am drained, and I will do what’s best for our children. Your behavior might seem insignificant to you, but you have an addiction, and I am not prepared for this. I did not sign up for this. If you don’t seek help or realize that you’re losing us, it will be too late when you finally do.

I was married And we have 2 kids since then my partner is secretive i don’t know how to elaborate but he is the type of the person that don’t want to be questioned about his past. He is easy to get irritate when i will ask some questions about i doubt. Maybe i have trauma of being cheated or i was just too much holding him i always track him and asking him where are you? who u with ? if there is a girl he talk i will get irritate as well . One time i tried to tracking him down and he was in a Girl Pub i call him but he never answer me he was just telling me that they will just eat and drink in some resto with his workmates , Secondly he told me that he will just talk his workmate in some coffeeshop after work we was on call but he was just putting his phone in his car and now it was 12 midnight but his not yet home itried calling him but it’s unattended i track his phone the last update is near some pub again. I overthink too much but on 2 am he just told me that his phone get lowbat and his workmate talks alot i never open that i saw your location near in a pub. this last time i saw him searching some hotel and ask him why you search some hotel he said because where talking about a hotel that they serve free beer and said are you happy ??? I ask him why he will always get irritated when i ask you something and he said im tight on him he feels like choking every time to time i have to know everything what he do where and whose with u and i keep on tracking him as well his tired of me . But im also tired too to keep on thinking that i was already fooled to the person i love again. . I know marriage is not perfect but it’s hard to maintain to love a person ,when you know that you deserve so much more . You deserve someone that make you feel secured .

Ive had to donate all my pants.. im down to two pants that fit and i just bought 1/2 that currently fit the other day. It’s a great feeling but momma ain’t got no money to buy new clothes lmao. Once I get some free time, I’ll hit goodwill bins and thrift stores.

Memory Transcript Subject: Carlos Jose Rodriguez, Mechanical Engineer, Florida Man
Date [Standardized Human Time]: December 29th, 2136
When Yalga passed out on the couch I sent a message to the family group chat making sure everyone knew of the situation.
I needed to get Yalga into the hospital, but I didn’t want to do it myself. Pyon also needed a sitter, so I was waiting for mom to come back so Salisek and I could focus on Yalga.
Me: Yalga burned herself on the heat pad. We’re taking her to the ER. Mom, could you come home to take care of Pyon.
Mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BURNED HERSELF?! We’re coming home!
Tarvik: On our way. We’ll help you take her.
I didn’t want to bother them, but I couldn’t complain. I needed help. While I waited for them to arrive I poured a cool glass of water for Yalga so she could hydrate herself when she gets up. I gently nudged her awake, which made her groan in discomfort as her eyes opened.
“Dad? What’s going on?” She asked weakly. Her voice was a little rough.
“I’m gonna take you to the doctor,” I answered bluntly. “I am aware, you don’t love doctors but these people can help you much better than me. I’ll be with you as much as I can, holding your hand. Can you be brave for me?”
My daughter nodded yes, so I got up and went upstairs to grab something we’re definitely gonna need. I also made sure Salisek got the news. She probably saw through the chat, but I needed to be sure.
I peeked into our room, or at least the room the girls were staying in together. “Honey?” I called the mother of my children. Salisek was cradling Pyon, trying to calm him down. Pyon was holding his teddy tight enough to cause some visible rips and tears. I need to ask mom to fix that later. “How is he?”
Pyon buried his face in Saliseks chest fur, and made some small whining sounds. “He’s scared. We heard Yalga scream and didn’t know what was going on. He soiled himself when he heard Yalga and has been crying for a while now. He only just stopped. He can sense I’m worried too.”
“You changed him right?”
“Yeah, although I didn’t think now was a good time for potty training. What are you getting?”
Salisek followed me to my mom’s room and watched me search around the closet. “Almost a decade ago, my dad was hit by a car. Something about the sensors being screwed up. He’s obviously fine now, but the car didn’t stop just in time so he broke a leg. Thank God that’s all he got. Anyway, he bought a wheelchair and kept it- Aha!”
I freed the simple contraption buried under a mountain of clothes dad considered put away and carried it downstairs.
“We’re gonna need this. It’s gonna be way easier to move Yalga.”
Salisek continued to cradle Pyon, rocking him back and forth, as she talked to me, “What do you need me to do?”
“Stay with Pyon.”
“No.”
“We’re not arguing about this. I need you to stay-”
“Pardon me, could you repeat that!? Have you forgotten that despite that fact we aren’t married yet we both signed as the legal guardians of both Pyon AND Yalga. Or did you want to call your barber for help?”
Hearing Salisek use her angry voice when talking about anything other than Exterminator and Federation bigotry felt like a punch in the gut.I tried to defuse the situation. That worked about as well as it did when dad tried it.
“Hun, that’s not what I mea-”
“MY-” Salisek paused when she remembered she was still carrying Pyon who was looking at her as if she yelled at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry pup just…” She shifted Pyon's position so he could bury his face into her fur to distract her. She softened her voice, but made it stern as steel. “My daughter is in an incredible amount of pain. She is scared, she is tired. I will be there. Pyon will come with, so he can see his sister being taken care of. I. Will. Be. There. For. My. Daughter. Am I clear?”
I help up my hands in defeat. “Okay. We’ll leave as soon as the family gets here.”
Saliseks voice and posture softened. “Okay. Again this time. What can I do?”
Seeing how serious she was, I realized doing this on my own was a stupid idea from the start. “Pack some snacks. I’m not getting overcharged for crappy hospital junk. And while you’re in the kitchen please grab more water for Yalga. I gotta make sure the bandaging is on well and she’s okay.”
“Okay.”
Salisek walked to the kitchen, still carrying Pyon. At times like these, I know I made the right decision marrying her.
“I love you sweetheart!” I called out.
“I love you too hun!” She called back.
I pulled the wheelchair out so Yalga could get in it. I could try and carry her, but unfortunately with her size and weight it would be better to transport her like this. Even if it’s a short distance.
“Daddy,” Yalga called.
“Yeah.”
“Are you and Mommy mad at each other?” She asked innocently. “Did I do something wrong? I heard Mom say my name.”
I knelt down to give my daughter an assuring kiss on her head. “No kiddo. We had a disagreement like all adults. It’s solved now. We still love each other.”
Despite her monotone voice, it couldn’t hide the tears building in her eyes. “Okay.”
I ignored it for the moment because she was probably gonna cry more in a moment. I opened the chair as much as it could go and gave the seat a nice solid pat.
“We’re gonna put you here, then we’re going to the Emergency Room.”
“Do I have to get up?”
“Yeah. You do. Grab my hand. We’ll go slow.”
Yalga held my hand and grasped it tight. I need to remember that she has a very strong grip. To keep her even I used my other hand to push her up from the other side so she didn’t have to do the work.
I’m so glad I go to the gym.
We slowly worked together to lift her up so she could sit straight.
“Ow, ow!”
“I know it hurts. Take your time.”
Once we got her up we had to get her into the chair. I thought about the best way to put her tail. Through the hole in the back? Would it just drag to the ground? Wait!
I went to the side of the couch where there was a thin blanket for me and Salisek when we slept here. If I can tie the blanket on the handles it can keep her tail up without squishing it. I just need to get her on first.
“Okay Princess. Let’s get up. Can you stand?”
“Y-Yeah. Um, Dad?”
Yalga awkwardly clutched her tail. “I need to use the bathroom.”
My eyes darted from the bathroom to the couch and back. “No better time to test the wheelchair.”
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 40 Minutes]
Even though it was getting late the traffic was still a lot. Once Salisek was ready we both called our parents and they both said that traffic was heavy. With it being the last Saturday of the year, Florida residents and tourists alike were enjoying their day.
We decided to just meet at the ER. The blanket trick for Yalga’s tail worked well and it didn’t hurt too much for her to walk once she got up. However, sitting down hurt her a lot unless it was in the wheelchair. Her tail probably played a factor since it didn’t have a place to sit except on the side when dealing with regular chairs.
Once we got to the hospital I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t that packed. Because of increased tourism and parties things can get crowded this time of year. Thankfully that wasn’t the case today. I didn’t want my daughter waiting more than she had too.
When I opened the side door, Yalga was already half up just so she could get into a chair with room for her tail. I helped carry her down and rolled her through the hospital's parking lot.
Salisek was having a difficult time carrying Pyon. He was pretty nervous. “Mawmy, I don wan to gow en.”
I didn’t understand why Pyon was scared but Mawmy was able to calm him down. “It’s okay pup. This place is filled with very nice and smart people who can help your big sister.”
My daughter didn’t say much, instead she looked around the large hospital and took in all the architecture and bright lights at the front. The front and lobby areas were clean and comfortable which helped a little to ease the tensions of anyone going in with something they believe is serious.
I rolled Yalga straight to the front desk and we were greeted by the medical receptionist. “Hello, how may I help you?”
I smiled politely and spoke calmly, “Hello, I’m Carlos Rodriguez and this is my daughter Yalga. She was using a heating pad and unfortunately suffered some burns. I was able to patch her up a little, but the gels and methods we have are for humans so I want to make sure she can heal properly. I would also like a professional to look at other areas of concern dealing with her limbs and back.”
“Any pain, shortness of breath, chest pain, profuse bleeding?”
“Her back usually causes her pain and the burning made it worse.”
She gestured to my fiance and son, “Are those two with you?”
“The tall Venlil woman is Salisek, my fiance, and she’s holding our son Pyon. They came for emotional support and to assist with anything Yalga may need.”
“We’ll get you someone right away. Please wait in the lobby.”
“Thank you.”
I knew they probably wouldn’t rush us in since even though Yalga is in pain, there’s no direct threat to her life. The most they’d do is probably a tetanus shot. I suppose I’ll have to worry if Yalga reacts to needles. I’ll try to calm her down because I could tell Yalga was still tense. I rolled her to a seating area with a TV playing Tom and Jerry.
Peak Fiction
With all the stress Yalga was going through, there’s nothing like cartoon violence to ease the mood. What would also ease the mood is having the family visit which according to a message they just sent, they were already here just finding parking.
Soon everyone entered the hospital and after a quick chat with the receptionist, along with me flagging them down, they joined us in the lobby. Helen and Chalta ran to Yalga the quickest.
“Yalga, are you okay?!” Chalta asked. “We heard your back got hurt!”
Helen was about to tackle Yalga into a hug before I stopped her. “Helen, Yalga isn’t feeling well. Please be careful she’s in a lot of pain.” Helen was visibly worried but still gently gave Yalga a supportive hug.
“Get better soon please.”
Talice and Tarvik were surrounding Salisek, asking questions on how they could help.
“Mom, it’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not fine. Your father and I are here to help so please be honest with us. We’ll help with anything you need. We’ll take Helen home soon but the moment you need anything we’ll be right there.”
“Why isn’t she seeing a doctor yet? What kind of place is this?!”
Mom went over to Salisek who was still holding Pyon. “I can take him sweetie, get some rest.”
Salisek cradled a stressed Pyon in her arms, “Do you wanna go with Grandma, little pup?”
“Gwandma.”
Salisek gently handed Pyon over to my mother who instantly knew how to calm him down. Salisek fell into the chair next to me. She was pretty exhausted and it was getting late. The stress of everything is what really made her worry. Seeing your child in pain isn’t fun. My father put a hand on each of our shoulders.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I looked over to my daughter who was trying to watch the cartoon with her sisters but still had a hard time focusing because of the pain, as evident by her trying to adjust herself. I gave her a tap on her shoulder and mouthed “how are you feeling?”. I could only hear a little whisper, but it was enough to understand she was saying “It still hurts.”
Dad could overhear what we were trying to say and knelt down next to Yalga. “What would you like to do when we leave?”
“I’m a little hungry. Can we go eat later?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
I was grateful for my dad, that we remembered to comfort Yalga in all this. I was so new to everything, not to mention the speed at which everything was happening.
…
Where’s the doctor!
“Carlos Rodriguez,” She called just as my patience was wearing thin. “We’re ready to see you now.”
“Thank you. One moment.”
I quickly talked with my parents and in-laws about who is going home and who is staying. My mom offered to take Pyon home and to tuck him in, Salisek agreed. Talice decided to go with and made sure to bring Chalta and Helen back since they knew they might get bored or cause trouble. Tarvik and Dad were conversing for a bit about who should stay before settling on Dad since he’s more familiar with the hospital.
Salisek gave Pyon a strong nose nuzzle, “I’ll see you later, okay Pyon? Mommy will be home soon. Be good to grandma, okay?”
“Owkay Mawmy.”
“I love you.”
“I wuv yu tu.”
Helen and Chalta gave Yalga a big, but gentle, hug.
“Get better soon.”
“We’ll play lots of games together when you get back.”
Everyone quickly said their goodbyes so it was just me, Yalga, Salisek, and Dad. We followed the nurse to a room and were asked to wait until the doctor arrived. Yalga was really on edge.
“Dad, are you gonna tell Odin about me?”
“It hasn’t crossed our minds. Do you want us to call him so you can talk for a bit?”
“No thank you, I don’t want him to worry.” My daughter fidgeted with her claws in shame. She didn’t want Odin to see her hurt. The moment she’s okay, I’m planning a date for her and Odin. With chaperones of course. “Are the doctors here nice?” Yalga asked nervously.
“Of course they are, Princess. Just answer honestly and they’ll help you get better.”
They’ll help you get better… I hope.
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 60 Minutes]
“So the spray will help heal and clean the burn so it doesn’t get sick?” Yalga asked curiously.
“That’s right,” Dr. Brown stated. “Soon we’ll give you a small shot to help protect against tetanus. It’s a very dangerous condition that can happen when you get a cut or burn. But you’re being very brave, I’ll see if we can get you a treat later. That is, if your parents are okay with it.”
“gasp Can I daddy?! Pleeeeeeease, I’ve been soooo good.”
I smiled brightly, “Of course you can.”
Dr. Brown was a huge blessing. The guy had been working with kids for a while and was great with Yalga. He was really good at relaxing her and explaining to her what was going on. He was honest and genuine. Salisek really liked him too, and even asked some questions herself. I also remembered him during my reckless years. He recognized me too.
“You’re daddy was quite the troublemaker back in his day.”
“Really?”
“Yup, when he was small he proudly came to me with a broken wrist.”
“Why would he be proud of that?”
“He got it trying to impress his crush.”
Seven-year-old me told you that in confidence.
I awkwardly looked at Salisek, but all she could do was stare and slowly smile while turning to my dad for more information.
“Do you happen to know the full story, dad?” Salisek teased.
“Well daughter, Carlos had a small crush on this girl named Jessica in the second grade and he tried to impress her by jumping off the swing set. He succeeded and flung himself so far into the air that when he landed on his wrist he needed a cast for months.”
“H-Hey! You laugh but it worked. She sat next to me at lunch and gave me her lunchables, that’s like… the pinnacle of love in second grade.”
I earned a laugh from everyone in the room, which almost made me forget that it was at my expense.
“Um, what is a lunchable?” Dr. Triva asked. She was a Zurulian working with Dr. Brown, trying to work with and understand the Arxur biology. While she was important in treating Yalga’s burn with her experience with Harchen Exterminators she would be even more important in trying to understand her condition as a whole. Zurulians have the best medical understanding compared to… pretty much everyone.
“It’s a children’s meal kit for both vegan and non-vegan foods, it’s popular for kids in school lunches.” Dr. Brown took his eyes off his colleague and gave me a sly look. “But let’s be honest, there was never any real meat in those things.”
Yalga’s interests also peaked. “Were they tasty?”
“Back in my day they were the best part of school. They were also a status symbol. Having the best lunchables meant you were the coolest kid.”
“What was the best one, Daddy?”
“Pizza.”
Of course it was pizza. It’s always pizza.
Pizza is God’s gift to the world.
Dr. Triva grabbed the syringe for the shot while Dr. Brown prepped the area. The sight of the needle made Yalga nervous.
“D-Daddy, do we have to…”
“Hey Princess, look at this.”
Yalga took her gaze off the needle and onto my phone where I showed her my favorite distraction.
[Behold Distraction]
“What is that?” Yalga asked. “I like the sounds.”
The legend Zach Choi, his legacy continued by his descendants, loved making short videos of him just cooking. This one was one of the rare ones that didn’t feature meat. Yalga was fully entranced into the process that she didn’t even react to the needle or the bandaid.
“Good job my beautiful pup!” Salisek cheered.
“Yeah… in a minute, mom.”
Dr. Brown chuckled, “I think I should start using those for nervous patients, right Dr. Triva?”
“Yeah… in a minute, Dr. Brown.”
I took my phone away before everyone forgot why they were here and we were ready to proceed. The doctors wanted to really get a look at Yalga and her condition. On the promise of peanut butter cookies and meat lovers pizza Yalga bravely went through all the X-Ray’s, bloodwork, medical history, and any other examinations they needed.
It took a while and she was starting to get frustrated with all the tests, but she persisted, and soon it was over. They allowed us to stay the night to monitor the burn area in case complications arose. So we all stayed in the hospital room, enjoying our time together as if it was a little adventure.
“Mommy look, the bed moves!”
“Pup, please don’t break it.”
Yalga went crazy when she saw how many buttons the hospital bed had, and needless to say, she was enjoying it. She kept Dad occupied with all her questions both about the hospital and about anything else her mind could think of. She was happy to be done with the tests.
“Grandpa, do you think they’ll let me see my bone pictures later?”
“Sure, but they need someone who is trained to look at them first and show them to the doctors.”
“There’s someone who knows how to look at pictures of bones?”
“Yup, they can see things we can because they’re bone smart. Do you wanna be a doctor when you grow up?”
“I dunno. Maybe I can be a doctor for bones, a bone doctor!”
It was nice seeing her happy, but Salisek and I were still worried about what they would find. What would it take to heal Yalga? Could they do it? I think so, but how long will it take? I don’t care about the financial cost, I care about the physical and mental toll it would take on Yalga. But would we have a choice?
I looked to my fiance who was rapidly tapping her foot onto the ground, impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us the news on Yalga’s condition.
“It can’t be that bad right?” she whispered. “With aid from the Zurualians they must have a way to easily fix Yalga’s condition. So what’s taking them so long?”
“They’re probably just double checking some things. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I could tell she was still stressed, so I held her hand and kissed her cheek. “Our daughter will be fine.”
Salisek tried to keep herself from crying for Yalga’s sake, but had the doctors not finally arrived she might’ve broken.
“Carlos, Salisek? You’re the parents correct?” Dr. Trivia asked. “I’ll just need to see you both very quickly to discuss some things.”
Finally ready for some answers we quickly got up, kissed our baby goodbye for now, and followed the Zurulian to a small room with Dr. Brown.
“Mr. Rodriguez and Mrs., do you prefer to be called Salisek or are you fine with adopting Mrs. Rodriguez?” The doctor politely asked.
“I’m fine with either, but I would like to get used to Mrs. Rodriguez.” I could feel her hand strengthen her grip in mine.
“Wonderful,” Dr. Brown took out a small folder that showed some of Yalga’s X-Rays, notes, and documents. “First things first, your daughter's burns should heal very soon.”
“Courtesy of Zurulian medicine and Harchen Exterminator Accidents.”
“Yes, thank you Dr. Triva. But of course this is not the only information you wanted to know about. The condition of your daughter is concerning. Not only because of the condition of her injuries, but also her condition that allows her body to grow at an exaggerated rate.”
Dr. Triva put the X-Ray slides on a projector for us to see. Seeing Yalga’s bones and how badly they were broken made my stomach turn, and my heart sink. I could hear Salisek’s gasp from how shocked she was.
It looked like a child had rearranged the right side of her body like a poorly constructed jigsaw puzzle. What made things worse was that the other side of her body looked nearly untouched meaning we could see all the damage her sperm donor did. I know how it felt to have broken a few bones as a kid. Her life would’ve been torture for me. I have know idea how she could live like that.
Why didn’t I take her here the moment we got home? How long has she been suffering like this?
“As you can see the limbs that didn’t grow as much were the ones that were injured the most. Trauma can be a factor in how limbs develop,” Dr. Triva explained. “You can see here how the bones didn’t heal correctly. Upon questioning your daughter it’s no question her back holds the most problems, but looking at her arms and legs it’s possible they’re also providing an incredible amount of discomfort and pain.”
Salisek wrapped her tail around my leg nervously. “So, what does this mean?”
“It means,” Dr. Brown continued. “That before we even think about her back we should address what’s going on in the rest of her body. If you look at her pelvic bone you can see it isn’t straight due to her walking on uneven legs for lord knows how long. So we think it would be best to first start realigning the bones as well as doing the appropriate extensions. My only concern is that her accelerated growth may cause complications, so she’ll need to visit here frequently.”
My fiance’s grip tightened as she looked deeper into the X-Rays, “I see. How long will it take for her to recover?”
“Several months, due to the severity of it. We can do the arms and legs separately, but that would be up to you. There’s a possibility it could take longer. We just can’t be certain with her growth, but we’ll have experts working round the clock on her case.”
“I-I see. But you can help her right?”
“We will do all within our power to make sure your daughter is healthy and lives a pain free life.
“Thank you… could you give us a moment. We would like to let our daughter know about it before we make arrangements.”
“Of course. Please let us know when you’re ready.”
We politely walked out of the room and turned around the corner away from where Yalga was.
“Honey?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”
I almost fell over when she pulled me in for a hug. I could barely hear her through her bleats and cry’s. “Look at what that monster did to her.”
First Previous

It’s like the title says, I feel like a lost my youth. For starters, I’ve never really been able to act my age, even as a kid. I was always in charge of my little brother, always doing chores, always having to cook for me and my brother as my parents would leave us for a whole day/night alone. I got into partying, drinking, and substances far too young because I was only able to hang around older crowds and couldn’t relate to anyone my age. At my ripe age of 21 I don’t even have an urge to drink or party, it’s not fun anymore. At 19 I got with my at the time 26 y/o bf and at first it was great. He was young at heart and we both got to go and explore and do fun things together and finally I got to feel young again with him. After us moving in together to an apartment, his parents started hounding him to act his age and in turn, want me to act his age too. This goes all the way into how I act, how I talk, how I dress (I am goth and they hate that), everything I do and whenever I act childishly in any sort of way I am bashed for it by everyone because I’m “normally so mature for my age”. I hate it. I haven’t been able to dress how I want to dress since I was 20, now I’m too fluffy to fit in my old clothes. I don’t work out anymore. I don’t see my friends anymore. And me and my bf can’t even have a date night because his parents always want us to come over. All I ever do every day is wake up, go to school, work my ass off, and go to sleep. If I’m lucky I get to play a game or me and bf play together.
I feel too invested in this to back out, and my bf truly is the sweetest man I know. It’s not his fault at all and he equally hates this because he is such a free spirit. But we both feel like we live under the thumb of his parents. I don’t want to leave him, this isn’t about seeing other people. I just want to live freely for once in my life.
Sorry for the rant, I just want to get it out and see if anyone else has a similar issue or has any advice. Thank you.

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love Link: https://oridharma.wordpress.com/2020/05/16/in-the-era-of-fear-i-comfort-them-with-great-love/

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love
https://oridharma.wordpress.com/2020/05/16/in-the-era-of-fear-i-comfort-them-with-great-love/

Hey, yall. This is fganniversaries and apologies for missing last week; I genuinely thought that I posted for the week but turns out that I didn't upon looking. As per usual, I will be recapping anniversaries relating to fighting game announcements/releases this week. Like always, if I missed one, do please let me know in the comments. Here would be the following anniversaries:
May 13

• 2023: SF6 20 Days Left & 19 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Press Release
• 2022: Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl - Official Jenny, Hugh Neutron & Rocko Reveal Trailer/Jenny DLC Release + Moveset & Gameplay Showcase
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Kyojuro Rengoku Reveal
• 2021: KOFXV Leona Heidern Tomohiro Nakata Sketch
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath - Official Gameplay Trailer
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) - Iroha DLC Release
• 2020: TFH Post-Launch Development Update #1 + Story Mode Chapter 1 Dev Commentary
• 2016: UNIB 5-13-16 Information Division Corner
• 2014: BBCP Version 1.1 Patch Notes
• 2014: JJBA:ASB Lisa Lisa & Ikuro Hashizawa DLC Release
• 2014: Skullgirls Encore 1.02: Are You Ready For? Edition Patch Notes
• 2014: SSB3DS/Wii U 5/13/14 Director’s Room Post - Charizard’s Flare Blitz Special Move Reveal
• 2013: Divekick - New Character Reveal: Markman + #eSports Hour #5
• 2010: Battle Fantasia Xbox Live Distribution
• 2010: BlazBlue PC Release Postpone Announcement
• 2005: SvC Chaos releasing on Xbox at AU.

May 14

• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Character Breakdown Trailer
• 2023: SF6 18 Days Left Countdown Illustration/Dan Tails
• 2020: GGST 1st Delay Announcement
• 2020: KOFx WWE + Cinematic Trailer/Razer Giveaway
• 2019: Samurai Shodown (2019) - Return of a Legend Trailer/Character Trailer #6 - Genjuro & Character Trailer #7 - Haohmaru
• 2019: SCVI Update Ver. 1.40 Patch Notes
• 2018: ARCommunity Sol Badguy of Guilty Gear - Digital Painting by Nainsoo
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Kawase Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: Guilty Gear NS, PS4, and PC Digital Port Announcement
• 2015: MKX Patch Notes 5/14/15 + Reptile Skin
• 2014: BBCP Version 1.1 Release
• 2014: SSB4 5/14/14 Director’s Room Post - Brittany Trophy Reveal
• 2013: Injustice "The Killing Joke" Skin Pack Announcement
• 2013: Skullgirls Color DLC Today, New Characters Coming
• 2009: Bleach: Heat the Soul 6 originally releasing on PSP at JP.
• 1998: Guilty Gear: The Missing Link originally releasing on PS1 at JP.

May 15

• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 1: Characters & Battle System/17 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Team Story
• 2021: PS5 releasing at CHN.
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.52.2 - 0.52.3 Change Log
• 2020: KOFAS x WWE Blogpost
• 2019: GBVS Trailers: Gran, Katalina, Charlotta, Lancelot, Ferry
• 2019: GGXXACR NS Promotional Video
• 2019: Guilty Gear releaisng on PC via Steam WW.
• 2019: MK11 Combo Breaker Tournament Stage Variant Reveal + Gameplay Footage
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Noko GameplayTrailer/Blade Strangers Joined by Indie All-Stars
• 2018: FEXL 01-2018/05/15 Battle Video
• 2017: Injustice 2 - Official Gameplay Launch Trailer
• 2015: Killer Instinct (2013) Textual Stream Part 2: The One About Hisako, Cinder, and Q&A/ Retro Hisako & Cinder
• 2015: Tekken 7 - Jack-7 Reveal Trailer
• 2015: Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[st] Announcement + Phonon Reveal & Location Test Announcement
• 2014: Arcana Heart 3: Love Max!!!!! PS3/Vita Promotion Movie
• 2014: P4AU Labrys Trailer
• 2014: SSB4 5/15/14 Director’s Room Post - Color TV-Game 15 Assist Trophy Details
• 2014: UNIEL System Page
• 2014: USFIV Pre-Order Costumes Trailer/Balance Changes Videos for Ryu, Gouken, Evil Ryu, & Cammy.
• 2013: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Kars & Kishibe Rohan Reveal
• 2013: Skullgirls - Early Work-in-Progress River King Casino Music - Piano Melody
• 2012: Asura Wrath's Lost Episode 2 releasing on PS3 and Xbox 360.
• 2008: Bleach: Heat the Soul 5 originally releasing as a PSP exclusive only at JP.
• 2007: Art of Fighting Anthology releasing on PS2 at US.
• 1998: Clay Fighter: Sculptor's Cut originally releasing as Blockbuster rental exclusive on the Nintendo 64 at NA.
• 1994: ClayFighter Tournament Edition originally released as a SNES exclusive only in NA as a Blockbuster rental exclusive.

May 16

• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula DLC Release + Character Profile, Story + Smartphone Wallpaper
• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 2: Battle Hub/16 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: MultiVersus – Official Cinematic Trailer - "You're with Me!"
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Character Intro Trailer #10: Kyojuro Rengoku
• 2021: Guilty Gear -Strive- Story Trailer Livestream
• 2021: Samurai Shodown (2019) Shiro Tokisada Amakusa Reveal + Steam Port Announcement
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.0 - 0.53.2 Change Log
• 2019: Flappy Fighter - Battle 2
• 2019: GG1 + GGXXACR releasing on Nintendo Switch via eShop WW + Guilty Gear 20th Anniversary Collection releasing at JP
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Helen Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle - RWBY Highlight Trailer
• 2018: FEXL 01-2018/05/16 Battle Video
• 2017: Injustice 2 originally releasing on PS4 and XB1 at NA.
• 2017: UNIST Experience Event Announcement
• 2014: P4AU Ver.1.11 Update Notice
• 2014: SSB4 5/16/14 Director’s Room Post - Villager Alternate Costumes Reveal
• 2014: UNIB 2014 Summer Illustration Contest Announcement
• 2008: GGXXAC+R Hidden Element Annonncement
• 2001: Project Justice releasing on Dreamcast at NA.
• 2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee Official Reveal + Trailers #1 & #2/ Reactions

May 17

• 2023: GGST Season Pass 2 Playable Character #4 [Asuka R♯] Trailer/Gamespot Exclusive Gameplay
• 2023: SF6 15 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: Mortal Kombat 1 - Tomorrow Is A New Dawn Teaser
• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Concept Art
• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 3: Competitive Features & Events
• 2022: DNF Duel｜Story Mode
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town DLC Release/Geese Howard Tomohiro Nakata Sketch
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 1 - What is Magic?
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.3 - 0.53.4 Change Log
• 2020: DBFZ Goku (Ultra Instinct) Launch Trailer
• 2019: GBVS Closed Beta Exhibition Match
• 2019: Guilty Gear 20th Anniversary Collection releasing at EU + Launch Trailer
• 2019: Kill la Kill If Story Mode Chapter 1 Movie Preview
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Liongate Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle - Persona 4 Arena Highlight + Yang Gameplay - Distortions, Combos & Assists
• 2018: SCVI Yoshimitsu Reveal + Screenshots
• 2017: Injustice 2 releasing on PS4 & XB1 at AU.
• 2017: Tekken 7 - Character Trailer #2
• 2013: BlazBlue Anime Adaptation Announcement
• 2013: Skullgirls Beowulf Announcement
• 2013: UNIB 2013 May Q&A Corner
• 2012: PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale Hades Brawl & Colorful Battle Videos
• 2010: BBCS 2nd PV Trailer
• 2008: SCVI Ashlotte Reveal
• 2005: Nintendo Wii Official Reveal at E3 2005
• Super Smash Bros. Brawl Announcement
• 2005: Spectral VS Generation originally releasing at arcades at JP
• 2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee Official Website Launch/IGN E3 Hands-On Impression & Gameplay #1, #2, #3

May 18

• 2023: Guilty Gear -Strive- Starter Guide - Asuka R♯
• 2023: Mortal Kombat 1 - Official Announcement Trailer
• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Theme BGM Composer Statement
• 2023: Street Fighter 6: Days of the Eclipse #3: Manipulation Issue Release/14 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 2 - Worldwide Development and Gears
• 2021: Fighting Game Glossary by Infilament originally launching
• 2021: KOFXV Ralf Jones & Clark Still Silhouette
• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-05-18 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.5 Change Log
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath - Official Friendships Trailer
• 2019: TFH Early Access Patch #19
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Curly Brace
• 2016: KOFXIV Team Gameplay Trailer #2 - Yagami
• 2012: Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL releasing on the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 at EU.
• 2012: UNIB Waldstein SD Wallpaper
• 2011: BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II releasing at arcades at NA.

May 19

• 2023: Mortal Kombat 1 Kollector’s Edition Liu Kang Statue Preview
• 2023: SF6 13 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: DNF Duel｜Practice Mode
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Kou:G Illustration
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 3 - The Crusades
• 2021: KOFXV - Character Trailer #19-20 - Ralf Jones & Clark Still + Screenshots/Team Ikari Reveal
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.6 - 0.53.7 Change Log
• 2021: Umbrella Animation Stream with Persona! (May 19, 2021)
• 2017: Injustice 2 releasing on PS4 & XB1 at EU.
• 2017: Tekken 7 “No Glory For Heroes” English Story Trailer
• 2017: UNIST Home Information
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Gargos Release Date Reveal/Gargos Ultra Combo & Montage, Gameplay Footage vs. Mira, Thunder & Tusk
• 2015: Street Fighter V - M. Bison Reveal Trailer
• 2015: Tekken 7 Jack-7 Release
• 2014: BB x BB Collaboration Beginning
• 2014: SSB4 5/19/14 Director’s Room Post
• 2013: Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- Announcement Trailer + Screenshots
• 2011: Dead or Alive: Dimensions originally releasing on the Nintendo 3DS at JP.
• 2010: BBCS Tager & Litchi Information
• 2005: IGN E3 2005: Shigeru Miyamoto Interview
• 2005: Vampire: Darkstalkers Collection originally releasing as a PS2 exclusive only in JP.
• 1998: Bio F.R.E.A.K.S. originally releasing on the Nintendo 64 at NA.

May 20

• 2023: SF6 12 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: Blazing Strike Publisher “Aksys Games” Reveal + Press Release
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Tanjiro Kamado (Hinokami Kagura) Reveal
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 4 - The Second Holy Order Selection Tournament
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.8 - 0.53.9 Change Log
• 2021: Virtua Fighter x eSports Official Announcement Live Stream Reveal
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath – RoboCop vs. Terminator Round 1 & Round 2 Gameplay Footage
• 2020: TFH Version 1.0.3 Patch Notes
• 2016: One Piece: Great Pirate Colosseum Announcement
• 2016: UNIB 5-20-16 Licht Kreis Information Division Corner
• 2015: M.Bison Makes His Return in SFV
• 2014: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Vannila Ice, Pannacotta Fugo & Narciso Anasui DLC Release
• 2014: P4AU Ken Armada & Koromaru Reveal
• 2014: SSB4 5/20/14 Director’s Room Post - Assist Trophy Item Capsule Showcase
• 2014: USFIV PS4 Pre-Orders Beginning
• 2013: ASW 25th Anniversary Book Release Window Reveal + Festival Conclusion Message
• 2013: Injustice Gods Among Us v1.03 Patch Notes
• 2011: BBCS 3rd Patch Distribution
• 2011: Dead or Alive: Dimensions releasing on the Nintendo 3DS at EU.
• 2011: Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus releasing on Wii at EU.

Hey, yall. This is fganniversaries and apologies for missing last week; I genuinely thought that I posted for the week but turns out that I didn't upon looking. As per usual, I will be recapping anniversaries relating to fighting game announcements/releases this week. Like always, if I missed one, do please let me know in the comments. Here would be the following anniversaries:
May 13

• 2023: SF6 20 Days Left & 19 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Press Release
• 2022: Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl - Official Jenny, Hugh Neutron & Rocko Reveal Trailer/Jenny DLC Release + Moveset & Gameplay Showcase
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Kyojuro Rengoku Reveal
• 2021: KOFXV Leona Heidern Tomohiro Nakata Sketch
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath - Official Gameplay Trailer
• 2020: Samurai Shodown (2019) - Iroha DLC Release
• 2020: TFH Post-Launch Development Update #1 + Story Mode Chapter 1 Dev Commentary
• 2016: UNIB 5-13-16 Information Division Corner
• 2014: BBCP Version 1.1 Patch Notes
• 2014: JJBA:ASB Lisa Lisa & Ikuro Hashizawa DLC Release
• 2014: Skullgirls Encore 1.02: Are You Ready For? Edition Patch Notes
• 2014: SSB3DS/Wii U 5/13/14 Director’s Room Post - Charizard’s Flare Blitz Special Move Reveal
• 2013: Divekick - New Character Reveal: Markman + #eSports Hour #5
• 2010: Battle Fantasia Xbox Live Distribution
• 2010: BlazBlue PC Release Postpone Announcement
• 2005: SvC Chaos releasing on Xbox at AU.

May 14

• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Character Breakdown Trailer
• 2023: SF6 18 Days Left Countdown Illustration/Dan Tails
• 2020: GGST 1st Delay Announcement
• 2020: KOFx WWE + Cinematic Trailer/Razer Giveaway
• 2019: Samurai Shodown (2019) - Return of a Legend Trailer/Character Trailer #6 - Genjuro & Character Trailer #7 - Haohmaru
• 2019: SCVI Update Ver. 1.40 Patch Notes
• 2018: ARCommunity Sol Badguy of Guilty Gear - Digital Painting by Nainsoo
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Kawase Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: Guilty Gear NS, PS4, and PC Digital Port Announcement
• 2015: MKX Patch Notes 5/14/15 + Reptile Skin
• 2014: BBCP Version 1.1 Release
• 2014: SSB4 5/14/14 Director’s Room Post - Brittany Trophy Reveal
• 2013: Injustice "The Killing Joke" Skin Pack Announcement
• 2013: Skullgirls Color DLC Today, New Characters Coming
• 2009: Bleach: Heat the Soul 6 originally releasing on PSP at JP.
• 1998: Guilty Gear: The Missing Link originally releasing on PS1 at JP.

May 15

• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 1: Characters & Battle System/17 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Team Story
• 2021: PS5 releasing at CHN.
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.52.2 - 0.52.3 Change Log
• 2020: KOFAS x WWE Blogpost
• 2019: GBVS Trailers: Gran, Katalina, Charlotta, Lancelot, Ferry
• 2019: GGXXACR NS Promotional Video
• 2019: Guilty Gear releaisng on PC via Steam WW.
• 2019: MK11 Combo Breaker Tournament Stage Variant Reveal + Gameplay Footage
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Noko GameplayTrailer/Blade Strangers Joined by Indie All-Stars
• 2018: FEXL 01-2018/05/15 Battle Video
• 2017: Injustice 2 - Official Gameplay Launch Trailer
• 2015: Killer Instinct (2013) Textual Stream Part 2: The One About Hisako, Cinder, and Q&A/ Retro Hisako & Cinder
• 2015: Tekken 7 - Jack-7 Reveal Trailer
• 2015: Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[st] Announcement + Phonon Reveal & Location Test Announcement
• 2014: Arcana Heart 3: Love Max!!!!! PS3/Vita Promotion Movie
• 2014: P4AU Labrys Trailer
• 2014: SSB4 5/15/14 Director’s Room Post - Color TV-Game 15 Assist Trophy Details
• 2014: UNIEL System Page
• 2014: USFIV Pre-Order Costumes Trailer/Balance Changes Videos for Ryu, Gouken, Evil Ryu, & Cammy.
• 2013: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Kars & Kishibe Rohan Reveal
• 2013: Skullgirls - Early Work-in-Progress River King Casino Music - Piano Melody
• 2012: Asura Wrath's Lost Episode 2 releasing on PS3 and Xbox 360.
• 2008: Bleach: Heat the Soul 5 originally releasing as a PSP exclusive only at JP.
• 2007: Art of Fighting Anthology releasing on PS2 at US.
• 1998: Clay Fighter: Sculptor's Cut originally releasing as Blockbuster rental exclusive on the Nintendo 64 at NA.
• 1994: ClayFighter Tournament Edition originally released as a SNES exclusive only in NA as a Blockbuster rental exclusive.

May 16

• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula DLC Release + Character Profile, Story + Smartphone Wallpaper
• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 2: Battle Hub/16 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: MultiVersus – Official Cinematic Trailer - "You're with Me!"
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Character Intro Trailer #10: Kyojuro Rengoku
• 2021: Guilty Gear -Strive- Story Trailer Livestream
• 2021: Samurai Shodown (2019) Shiro Tokisada Amakusa Reveal + Steam Port Announcement
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.0 - 0.53.2 Change Log
• 2019: Flappy Fighter - Battle 2
• 2019: GG1 + GGXXACR releasing on Nintendo Switch via eShop WW + Guilty Gear 20th Anniversary Collection releasing at JP
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Helen Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle - RWBY Highlight Trailer
• 2018: FEXL 01-2018/05/16 Battle Video
• 2017: Injustice 2 originally releasing on PS4 and XB1 at NA.
• 2017: UNIST Experience Event Announcement
• 2014: P4AU Ver.1.11 Update Notice
• 2014: SSB4 5/16/14 Director’s Room Post - Villager Alternate Costumes Reveal
• 2014: UNIB 2014 Summer Illustration Contest Announcement
• 2008: GGXXAC+R Hidden Element Annonncement
• 2001: Project Justice releasing on Dreamcast at NA.
• 2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee Official Reveal + Trailers #1 & #2/ Reactions

May 17

• 2023: GGST Season Pass 2 Playable Character #4 [Asuka R♯] Trailer/Gamespot Exclusive Gameplay
• 2023: SF6 15 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: Mortal Kombat 1 - Tomorrow Is A New Dawn Teaser
• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Concept Art
• 2023: Street Fighter 6 - Open Beta Video 3: Competitive Features & Events
• 2022: DNF Duel｜Story Mode
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town DLC Release/Geese Howard Tomohiro Nakata Sketch
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 1 - What is Magic?
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.3 - 0.53.4 Change Log
• 2020: DBFZ Goku (Ultra Instinct) Launch Trailer
• 2019: GBVS Closed Beta Exhibition Match
• 2019: Guilty Gear 20th Anniversary Collection releasing at EU + Launch Trailer
• 2019: Kill la Kill If Story Mode Chapter 1 Movie Preview
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Liongate Gameplay Trailer
• 2018: BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle - Persona 4 Arena Highlight + Yang Gameplay - Distortions, Combos & Assists
• 2018: SCVI Yoshimitsu Reveal + Screenshots
• 2017: Injustice 2 releasing on PS4 & XB1 at AU.
• 2017: Tekken 7 - Character Trailer #2
• 2013: BlazBlue Anime Adaptation Announcement
• 2013: Skullgirls Beowulf Announcement
• 2013: UNIB 2013 May Q&A Corner
• 2012: PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale Hades Brawl & Colorful Battle Videos
• 2010: BBCS 2nd PV Trailer
• 2008: SCVI Ashlotte Reveal
• 2005: Nintendo Wii Official Reveal at E3 2005
• Super Smash Bros. Brawl Announcement
• 2005: Spectral VS Generation originally releasing at arcades at JP
• 2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee Official Website Launch/IGN E3 Hands-On Impression & Gameplay #1, #2, #3

May 18

• 2023: Guilty Gear -Strive- Starter Guide - Asuka R♯
• 2023: Mortal Kombat 1 - Official Announcement Trailer
• 2023: KOFXV Sylvie Paula Paula Theme BGM Composer Statement
• 2023: Street Fighter 6: Days of the Eclipse #3: Manipulation Issue Release/14 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 2 - Worldwide Development and Gears
• 2021: Fighting Game Glossary by Infilament originally launching
• 2021: KOFXV Ralf Jones & Clark Still Silhouette
• 2021: Skullgirls 2nd Encore 2021-05-18 Beta Mode Update
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.5 Change Log
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath - Official Friendships Trailer
• 2019: TFH Early Access Patch #19
• 2018: Blade Strangers - Curly Brace
• 2016: KOFXIV Team Gameplay Trailer #2 - Yagami
• 2012: Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion XL releasing on the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 at EU.
• 2012: UNIB Waldstein SD Wallpaper
• 2011: BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II releasing at arcades at NA.

May 19

• 2023: Mortal Kombat 1 Kollector’s Edition Liu Kang Statue Preview
• 2023: SF6 13 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2022: DNF Duel｜Practice Mode
• 2022: KOFXV Team South Town Kou:G Illustration
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 3 - The Crusades
• 2021: KOFXV - Character Trailer #19-20 - Ralf Jones & Clark Still + Screenshots/Team Ikari Reveal
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.6 - 0.53.7 Change Log
• 2021: Umbrella Animation Stream with Persona! (May 19, 2021)
• 2017: Injustice 2 releasing on PS4 & XB1 at EU.
• 2017: Tekken 7 “No Glory For Heroes” English Story Trailer
• 2017: UNIST Home Information
• 2016: Killer Instinct (2013) Gargos Release Date Reveal/Gargos Ultra Combo & Montage, Gameplay Footage vs. Mira, Thunder & Tusk
• 2015: Street Fighter V - M. Bison Reveal Trailer
• 2015: Tekken 7 Jack-7 Release
• 2014: BB x BB Collaboration Beginning
• 2014: SSB4 5/19/14 Director’s Room Post
• 2013: Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- Announcement Trailer + Screenshots
• 2011: Dead or Alive: Dimensions originally releasing on the Nintendo 3DS at JP.
• 2010: BBCS Tager & Litchi Information
• 2005: IGN E3 2005: Shigeru Miyamoto Interview
• 2005: Vampire: Darkstalkers Collection originally releasing as a PS2 exclusive only in JP.
• 1998: Bio F.R.E.A.K.S. originally releasing on the Nintendo 64 at NA.

May 20

• 2023: SF6 12 Days Left Countdown Illustration
• 2021: Blazing Strike Publisher “Aksys Games” Reveal + Press Release
• 2021: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Hinokami Chronicles Tanjiro Kamado (Hinokami Kagura) Reveal
• 2021: ExplaMaytions with May! Episode 4 - The Second Holy Order Selection Tournament
• 2021: Tough Love Arena 0.53.8 - 0.53.9 Change Log
• 2021: Virtua Fighter x eSports Official Announcement Live Stream Reveal
• 2020: Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermath – RoboCop vs. Terminator Round 1 & Round 2 Gameplay Footage
• 2020: TFH Version 1.0.3 Patch Notes
• 2016: One Piece: Great Pirate Colosseum Announcement
• 2016: UNIB 5-20-16 Licht Kreis Information Division Corner
• 2015: M.Bison Makes His Return in SFV
• 2014: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle Vannila Ice, Pannacotta Fugo & Narciso Anasui DLC Release
• 2014: P4AU Ken Armada & Koromaru Reveal
• 2014: SSB4 5/20/14 Director’s Room Post - Assist Trophy Item Capsule Showcase
• 2014: USFIV PS4 Pre-Orders Beginning
• 2013: ASW 25th Anniversary Book Release Window Reveal + Festival Conclusion Message
• 2013: Injustice Gods Among Us v1.03 Patch Notes
• 2011: BBCS 3rd Patch Distribution
• 2011: Dead or Alive: Dimensions releasing on the Nintendo 3DS at EU.
• 2011: Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus releasing on Wii at EU.

If you ‘DAMN’ Pastor Quiboloy, you ‘DAMN’ Duterte, you ‘DAMN’ the country.
A few days ago, I came across this book, 'How to Destroy A Man Now (DAMN): A Handbook' by Angela Confidential. Just from its title, you can easily tell that this is a guide to ruining a man's reputation or life.Basically, this book gives practical tactics on how ‘Allegations,’ the ‘Media,’ and the ‘Authority’ work together to dethrone a man from influence and power.
I would like to use this perspective as we navigate the issues concerning Pastor Apollo.If you want to DAMN, start with making allegations. That is the first weapon. Merriam-Webster defines allegations as ‘an assertion unsupported and by implication regarded as unsupportable.’
This means anyone who makes an allegation against any man is free from the burden of facts. So, the devils made sure he crafted piles of serious allegations to ruin Pastor Apollo’s reputation on a global scale.
The following were made since 2018, roughly six years in the making:Allegations in the United States. The perpetrators here, according to the camp of Pastor Apollo, were in connivance with former workers who had supposedly committed grave crimes in the KOJC and fled to the U.S.
The allegations include conspiracy to engage in sex trafficking, sex trafficking of children, sex trafficking by force, fraud and coercion, conspiracy, and bulk cash smuggling.Until now none of these allegations have been proven true in court, yet the U.S. government agencies like the Federal Bureau of Investigation, put Pastor Apollo's name on the Most Wanted List. In the Philippines, it’s more complicated.
Cases of alleged sexual abuse of a minor and qualified human trafficking were filed against Pastor Apollo but were easily dismissed by Philippine courts. However, recently, the Justice Department overturned the decision and Pastor Apollo is once again facing scrutiny.
The legislature, tasked with making laws, targeted Pastor Apollo through hearings. In the Senate, Senator Risa Hontiveros launched a probe against Pastor Apollo for alleged human trafficking, labor violations, and sex-related offenses. In the lower house, headed by Speaker Martin Romualdez, who is the cousin of President Bongbong Marcos, they targeted the media arm of KOJC - the Sonshine Media Network International, alleging franchise violations and implicating Pastor Apollo as the owner, thus compelling his presence at the hearing.
Notably, the House Speaker generously gave the known CPP-NPA operatives France Castro, Arlene Brosas, and Raoul Manuel the floor to launch ad hominem attacks against Pastor Apollo. They have become one of the mouthpieces of the devils.
Moreover, the House also weaponized the National Telecommunications Commission (NTC) to impose an indefinite suspension on SMNI, as well as the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) to suspend two programs, including former President Duterte’s 'Gikan sa Masa Para sa Masa' and 'Laban Kasama ang Bayan,' due to alleged franchise violations. This is clearly to silence SMNI. They want to disarm the people of truth, especially about the Dutertes and about the terrorist organization CPP-NPA-NDF.
With all the missiles and bombs of allegations against Pastor Apollo, the devils now need a 'Media' platform to proliferate. If the allegation is the bullet, then the media is the gun. This is the second weapon of the Devil.Use the Power of Media.
You’ve probably heard the philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it, did it make a sound?” The more people who know about an allegation, the more powerful it becomes.
Admit it, we're drawn to the drama, especially Filipinos, which is why you'll notice more scandalous stories in the news and media these days—everyone loves a bit of gossip!"Sex sells,” they say. When it comes to allegations against a holy or religious figure like Pastor Apollo, especially those related to flesh, it can shatter their reputation and can be particularly devastating, regardless of the truth.In a court of law, a man is presumed innocent until proven guilty. But in the court of public opinion manipulated by the media, a man “serially accused” of a scandal is guilty until proven innocent.In this scenario, an allegation doesn't need evidence to DAMN someone because media manipulation turns it into its own proof.
Thousands, even millions, of people can unite against one man.Look at the mainstream media, even the alternative that wants to gain popularity, makes Pastor Apollo their headlines because they profit from it. However, they bear little responsibility for doing it. Apparently, as long as the media labels the scandal as an "allegation," they are somewhat protected from legal consequences.
Moreover, the media can claim they are merely reporting the allegation, not making it. However, the way they report it often contributes to shaping the allegation itself.But we're not only referring to traditional media. With the rise of social media, the realm of trolls and paid vloggers/bloggers, the spread of allegations has become faster and more potent.The "evidence" and public perception of guilt crafted by allegations and the media's collaboration can grow so significant and influential that the third weapon of the Devil, 'Authority,' is compelled to intervene.Authority. In the case of Pastor Apollo, the authority being used by the devils is the US-PH government and its instrumentalities. And their mission is to fully destroy him now.According to the handbook, “Ultimately, it’s authority that plays the final role in condemning a man.
As ‘Daddy Knight’ he takes pride in his role as guardian and savior, especially of the weak, mistreated, violated, and so on. He strives to be the hero who saves the damsel in distress. In other words, authority caters to victims, and nothing gets [Authority]’s attention more than a call to action to save victims.”“Also, keep in mind that with the media’s help, allegations against authorities can be used to motivate authority to take action. Just about any widespread allegation about an authority being remiss, ineffectual, or negligent in its “guardian and savior” role will suffice.”And this is so evident with what Hontiveros is doing as well as Castro, Brosas and Manuel are doing. Listen to their words. It’s almost the same! They want to play the savior role.
They want to pretend heroes but never really give justice to the supposed victims.They are lawmakers but they act as judges. And they want justice for the supposed victims, why don’t they bring it to the proper forum which is the court? Because they’re not after justice; they’re after destroying the person of Pastor Apollo.
Hontiveros, alongside leftist lawmakers and their enablers, have shown disrespect for the sanctity of the institutions they represent.I recently came across a statement from Hontiveros, where she said in Filipino, “I also call on Quiboloy not to resort to drama.” But who's the real drama queen here? Isn’t it Hontiveros?Her bogus witnesses, as members of KOJC call them, joined the drama in the hearing.
Obviously, the script was made. What's more fascinating is that one of the 'witnesses' claimed to have seen Pastor giving a bag of guns to former President Duterte and his daughter, VP Inday Sara Duterte.Both of them denied it. The former president called it ‘silly’ and Sara Duterte has never been to Glory Mountain. It was an error in the script of the devils that they didn’t see coming.Well, if Hontiveros really wanted to stop the drama, then the alleged crimes should be brought to court.
The Senate, especially her, has no power to serve justice; its role is to make laws.The hearing was supposed to aid legislation. So, what law is she trying to make? The Philippines has one of the most laws in the world to combat human trafficking and sexual abuse cases. Did Hontiveros do her research? Or is it just in-aid of re-election?And it’s no secret that leftist lawmakers have been unmasked many times on SMNI through its program Laban Kasama ang Bayan, where former cadres unmasked who they truly are.
These individuals are often referred to as 'wolves in sheep's clothing' by these former members.It's crucial to understand the atrocities committed by the communist-terrorist groups CPP-NPA-NDF over the past five decades of insurgency, resulting in the deaths of thousands of innocent lives, including promising youth leaders, indigenous peoples, women, farmers, and individuals from all sectors affected by their deceptions.
Their objective within the government? To undermine and destroy it.
Only SMNI, of which Pastor Apollo is an honorary chair, has the courage to undertake this task: defending the government and the nation by giving enlightenment to the people.Recently, Castro said that the warrant of arrest issued against Pastor Apollo is "an important step" in obtaining justice for his victims.
Poor Castro, she lost her moral ascendancy a long time ago. I hope Castro will remember that she was charged, together with Satur Ocampo and 16 others for kidnapping and human trafficking over the transport of 14 children from Talaingod town in Davao del NorteIt's not surprising, then, that they are so eager and willing to destroy Pastor Apollo in this manner, especially when the current administration has allowed them to become the attack dogs against the good pastor.
They thirst for vengeance for the near-demise of the CPP-NPA-NDF that suffered a major blow during the Duterte presidency.
They seek to recover under the Marcos regime. This is one of the most alarming issues now that the nation must address: the 'unholy alliance' between the terrorist organization and their friends, and the government.
For now, we will pause here. We’ve given you a glimpse of the people in ‘authority’ that are part of the Devil’s playbook against Pastor Apollo.
In the upcoming parts, we will delve into the alliance dubbed as the "Unholy Trinity" involving the collusion of the US, Marcos, and the CPP, aimed at dismantling Pastor Apollo and the Dutertes.
We will explore why this has now become a matter of national significance. And why the fight of Pastor Apollo is a fight for every Filipino.
Read Part 1https://www.facebook.com/prestrackeposts/1035462161478486

Just bought a model 3 and supercharger rates didn’t really factor into my calculations because I already had a 50a sub drop in my driveway, and free to me L2 charging at work. At the end of the day it’s an around town car so I’m happy with my purchase, but I don’t see why anyone would bother with the inconveniences of road tripping a Tesla when a Prius comes in at half the fuel cost, and a v6 minivan is downright comparable.
At 21MPG and premium fuel @ 3.69 per gallon I’m coming up with about 17.5c per mile 24% more than the Tesla. (2010 BMW X5)
With supercharger rates at .40c per Kw, 90% charging efficiency and 310 wh/m I’m coming up with 13.7c per mile for the Tesla.
Is my math bad? I knew supercharging was more expensive than level 2 but that seems wild to me. My wife’s Sienna comes up to 14c per mile for a 2.6% increase over the Tesla. (22MPG, regular fuel @ 3.09 per gallon)
Edit: lmao I just did the math on my dad’s suburban with a big 6.2 v8 and it’s actually more economical than the Tesla. My math has to be bad, right?

Okay so. Hi. I’ve posted on these types of subreddits on and off for a minute and the results have been pretty good. Truth be told I’ve met some of my bestest pals online and I love knowing I’m like a click away from someone I can chat with. I love sending and receiving snail mail but maybe we can start with some chats and see how that goes and maybe move to Snapchat or something idk.
Anyways. Me. Well, I’m 38, from BC, Canada close to Vancouver. I work as a clinician in healthcare and have worked in healthcare for 14 years. Previous to that I got my BA in English. I’m a published writer and poet - nothing crazy like novels but a few short stories and articles here and there. I’m also an avid photographer and got my start on the high school yearbook where I was free to be the weird girl dressed in all black lugging around a camera.
On the subject of black clothes, I consider myself a recovering goth. I’d probably fit in with an alternative label but I don’t truthfully see myself that way anymore. I’ve got tattoos but so does just about everyone now a days so whatever - I don’t feel they’re particularly interesting. Same thing with piercings etc
I’ve had people say I’m death obsessed and maybe that’s true. I’ve seen a lotta people die and I think about it a lot. I’m very interested in antiques and vintage items and consider a hobby of mine to be thrifting and I’m on a first name basis with the ladies at a few thrift shops. I’m definitely an aesthete. I love home decor and fashion. I make a lot of clothing and other items. I definitely have a “how hard can it be attitude?”
I’m into animals and have two cats who are useless shitbags who probably should get jobs but they haven’t yet so I’m stuck paying the bills.
I own my own home, I don’t drink any alcohol and haven’t for something like 12 years now. I don’t use any substances recreational or otherwise. If I’m feeling wild and out of control I might share a menthol cigarette with a friend outside a dive bar just for the drama of it all.
I’m an Aquarius, INTJ, if any of that is meaningful to you.
I go through phases and hyperfixations, and some current ones are:

1. High altitude mountaineering. Not that I’d ever do this myself but I love reading about and listening to information about Mt Everest.
   
2. The Chris Watts murder case
   
3. Tudor England
   
4. 1700s France
   
5. Olive Oatman
   
6. How dementia is addressed across cultures
   
7. Why Tom Hiddleston looks like a sickly Victorian chimney sweep
   

Anyways there’s probably more but this post is plenty long. If any of this seems interesting please send me a message.
On and btw, I’m attaching a selfie idk
me on some Flannery o‘Connor shit

Got some guys to set free.
Keely 30MS Double Tracker has no box, no nothin’. In 8/10 shape with some superficial scuffs. $150 CAD + shipping and PayPal fees (if applicable).
Pinebox Tall V2, Far V2 and Deep V2 Fuzz pedals. Basically brand new. Tall has a branded box, cloth bag and sticker. The other two just came in plain boxes. $130 CAD each + shipping and PayPal fees (if applicable).
Pettyjohn Iron MKII - a bit of a feeler on this one. I like it, but I think I like the Chime more. Can send pics on request.
Trade Interests: I’ve been on a fairly major gain kick, so I don’t think I’m really looking for any drives or fuzzes. Could be interested in an Adventure Audio Lunge, OBNE Dweller, Rainger FX Deep Space Pulsar (with mic and Igor). Open to offers.
Pedals
Shipping from Calgary, AB, Canada.

TLDR; babble yap sesh
Life is sin. Sin is survival for humans. The notion of Jesus’ existence suggests that he was fully God fully human(*edit) It is also believed that he was free of sin and original sin. The big gimmick is that there is no “point of life” or “larger purpose”. We as humans are on earth, simply to be ourselves in the human form. That is the ultimate gift amongst all of the suffering we must endure. Instead of trying to be a good person for the sake of God’s grace, I believe an individual should actively try to do the right thing (as much as any given situation allows) and treat people how they ought to be treated, simply because they feel love and want to share it.
In my opinion, Jesus serves as the perfect example, of what we should strive to be, but also acknowledge that we are not perfect, and we are going to sin. The test, I believe, is that after you sin due to your human bounds, your “god-like” part of the conscious will undergo a process of guilt, shame, forgiveness, acceptance, and renewal. To me, that is the closest a person can get to living the way that Jesus is said to have lived.
Life is suffering. It is simply a separation of: those who are aware of their suffering and actively trying to learn from it (therapy or self reflection) and those who suffer, but choose not to learn from it (too comfortable in one’s own ego/perception of thyself). However, I understand that in order to “make it” in this world, you must develop some sort of deluded sense of self, so that you can survive in public environments (the mask).
I believe that all of the people who die and will die having not become truly aware of their own sin and suffering, will simply continue the rebirth cycle until they truly understand and are able to transcend above the inherently human way of thinking, which is sinful thinking. I believe that once a person is comprehensive of the entire truth of our identities and actively chooses to live accordingly, they are finally capable of transcendence into “heaven” or as I like to believe, a Xanadu of some sorts…a plane of existence that embodies absolute freedom: a land free of judgement, a land free of pain, a land free of authority, a land free of misunderstanding, a land free of temptation, of currency. A land where all are one and one is all. This is why it is essential for the individual self to learn the ultimate truth of the self in accordance with everything and everyone.
The prevalent Christian (and/or catholic) belief is that in order to get in to heaven and not go to hell (in my beliefs, “hell” is just the rebirth cycle back to earth until you learn your lessons), one must live in constant fear of God’s final judgment, to which you must “be a good person”. Worshipping God and Jesus is also a common practice among Christians (and catholics).
I believe that God sent Jesus to earth, specifically to tell us, not to worship him, anyone, or anything.
If Jesus was truly free of sin, then there is no doubt he would be outcasted and eventually killed for simply being who he is. If Jesus lived today, he wouldn’t care about clothes, or a social media account (unless it was to benefit the greater good in some way). He would simply be. I reckon that Jesus would really like Bladee’s newer albums, (especially the fool, cold visions, 333) and the message that they send.
We are nothing—but as humans, we have the capability to be everything. What I mean by that is that when we are born, we are born to inherently “sin”, for survival in this modern world. I believe that God is the part of our conscious that tells you whether you are doing something right or wrong. As humans, we have a choice of whether or not to listen to that voice. Most people tend to be selective about when they choose to listen to that voice. (in a way, because we have to sometimes.) But due to this choice (free will), we can also decide to be: there for our close friends and family, be: welcoming of strangers and/or initially misunderstood people. Simply put, whatever an individual feels they deserve or need from other people, is exactly what you need to be for other people. By becoming this person for other individuals, you essentially become that person for yourself. WHICH MEANS...you are the only person that can love yourself the way you want to be loved, and developing this love for the self, could be relative to a person having "God's grace."
But I also reckon that Jesus would probably have an effortlessly cool style, or to be fair, he would most likely be homeless. That wouldn’t make sense though, would it? Because in this modern-day dystopian society, a homeless person wouldn’t be the right person to be tasked with inspiring the world to save themselves from a never-ending rebirth cycle. If I was God, I would send myself(being god)/Jesus down for his “second coming”, in the form of a person who goes through life experiencing exactly what they need to experience in order to understand the truth of everything and essentially live as Jesus like as possible, with the random probability of whatever situation Jesus’ new form will be born into. What I mean is that the second coming of Jesus could literally be born into any situation but in order for “God’s ultimate mission” to be fulfilled, I feel that this “Jesus-like” savior must be a symbolic, but physical mirror to the insecurities of all people who bear witness. In order for the mission to be fulfilled, we as humans must learn to accept and love this person for whoever they might be, regardless of the many ways in which they shall be outcasted from this artificial and ignorantly upheld society that we live in today. This message essentially means that we should always try our best to listen to and see the people in society who are outcasted for being their true selves and only ever perceived on the surface level.
One could argue that all of this is baloney due to the sole fact that psychopathic serial killers exist, so therefore not everybody is under the grace of God. My response to that is that that’s just unlucky science that certain people are born without the ability to feel love and empathy.
BTW. I am very stoned while writing this and it is in my nature to contradict my own ideas, so hopefully that doesn’t confuse people. Idek if there is any contradictions, I don’t even know what I am saying to be honest, I just felt like I really needed to write all of this. If anybody does get what im saying and has thoughts to share I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on these subjects. I also will not apologize for writing too much because I am just being myself and “only God over me man, so you’ve got no right”. Also I’m just a fool ion no anythyng

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

Charlie:
Beth and William came looking for me on the street. They bought me food and rented me a hotel room where I could shower. They supplied me with new clothes. They made me feel like a human again.
They explained that I would work for them on a farm Beth owned. When I inquired about Antonio, Beth got cold and warned me to mind my business.
As the three of us drove west with me in the backseat, Beth brought up the castration.
“Did it hurt?” She asked drawing a laugh from William.
“It did. It was awful.” I said.
“It was awful, Mistress.” William said correcting me.
It had been years since he ruined my life by cutting off my manhood. but still, he didn’t care. He was emotionless and only concerned that I knew my place.
I thought about demanding that he pull over so I could get out of the car. I’d go back to the city of hell, a safer place than with him but I didn’t because I was near Beth.
I studied the back of her head. She had her hair in a ponytail, I saw a few streaks of gray. She was human, she aged too. Of course, she still looked great and fit and tan as always. She knew how to take great care of herself.
“So Charlie, can you, you know. Can you jerk off or even have sex?” She asked giggling slightly.
I told her the truth. I could get an erection, but that was it. William laughed.
“I guess I won’t have to worry about the two of you cucking me!”
Beth laughed too.
“That’s ashame. I would love to cheat on you, William!” She said gently kissing the side of his face.
Beth then turned her head to face me. She looked so sexy in her sunglasses. Despite being ball-less, my dick grew.
“When we get home, I need to see you hard! I have to see what that looks like!” Beth said flashing her beautiful smile.
“Looks like someone is getting a blowy!” William said.
Beth laughed at his joke. She lifted her bare feet up and placed them on the dashboard. I don’t think she did it to draw my attention, It just seemed like something she liked to do while in the passenger seat. How I missed those feet. That little tiny dot on her big toe was still there. I noticed her nails were freshly polished too. Those feet, my foot fetish, the beginning of my downfall. From boyfriend, to husband, to slave to eunuch. It all started because I was more in love with her feet than I was with myself.
Beth:
A sadist doesn’t always wish to dominate or hurt others. I think it’s about certain individuals. In Charlie’s case, I felt the overwhelming need to control him, to humiliate him. Yes, it had been years since I last saw him or even thought about him, but like a black widow, once I had him again, I felt the need to own him.
Willam certainly didn’t disuade me so before we arrived back at the farm, I was already laying down the ground rules. I was the master, William was too. Charlie would again be the servant. It was that or back to the streets for him.
The power made me horny. I could not wait until we returned home so I could give myself totally to William. I had a slave again, so William would have me.
Charlie:
We arrived at the farm, I was overwhelmed by its rural spaciousness, especially after spending the better part of the decade on the streets of New York.
Beth and William were trying to figure out what to do with me. William suggested I be treated as a guest for the time being at least, be given a guest room to sleep in, etc but Beth was unsure.
“He’s dirty and maybe even diseased. He should see a doctor first before we let him inside.”
“Charlie, you’ll need to sleep in the barn. I promise you it won’t be like it was with Tex on his farm, we won’t hurt you but it’s the best I can offer. Beth said.
Not looking to cause any problems, I fell to my knees and crawling behind them, I was led to my new home. Yes, it was a stable for a horse, covered in straw but it had a roof. That night, I slept like a baby.

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”