Boyfriend forwards
Relationships
2008.07.10 00:26 Relationships
/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve.
2009.06.15 01:12 buu700 Relationship Advice
Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!
2010.11.11 17:18 For couples who can't be in the same room
LongDistance is a subreddit for and about long distance relationships. For anyone considering(but not seeking), currently in, or who used to be, this is the community for you! We are here for support, advice, and community who can relate to your experiences. We are people who met online, students studying across the country and abroad, people separated by jobs and the military, and more.
2024.06.09 16:15 BSlugLuvr Will long distance really work?
I (27f) am about to go to grad school and my boyfriend (27m) has decided not to move with me. At first I was upset about the decision, but after some time, I realize it's definitely the best decision for both of us. I never got a true college experience bc I was always working while he got his college paid for and got to join a frat and do as he pleased. So I'm excited to finally live in a dorm and experience all that that comes with it. I also feel as if I would be more worried about him and spending time with him if he were with me and I'm somewhat excited for the freedom. We have been together almost two years and it has been pretty rocky from the start. I was in therapy when I met him and had just gotten out of a pretty intense engagement three or four months prior. I wasn't intending on meeting anyone so quickly, but he felt different and I really liked him. A few months into us casually dating, I realized he had extremely poor communication skills. Which was frustrating to me, as that is one thing I worked really hard in therapy on. Flash forward, and almost two years later, we are still having communication issues. He just started therapy last week, which makes me really proud and happy bc I want to see him happy in his own life. But I also know it took months for me to see any progress and years to be confident in my abilities to effectively communicate on my own (I have since graduated therapy after 2.5 years of weekly sessions). I leave in a little over two months to attend grad school a few states away, but in January, I will be moving to Europe for 8 months. This comes with a 6 hour time difference.
My bf currently texts me once every 30 minutes to two hours and refuses to ever call me and also gets upset with me when I call him bc it disrupts his gaming time with his friends. We also only see each other on the weekends. I moved in with him for about three months awhile back bc this behavior was concerning to me and was unhealthy for my own mental health (my love language is words of affirmation) but that was a disaster and the behavior never changed. In preparation for moving away, I have told him that I would love it if he would call me every once in awhile, but his response was always "I see you on the weekends" or "you're treating this like it's a ldr already." He also tells me that it's not normal for couples to call each other every day and I found that concerning, as every healthy relationship I've been in, that was the case, regardless if we lived together or not. I have voiced this concern with him and he just says "I know" with no behavior change. I'm worried that we will never talk when I move, especially when I go to Europe and we have the 6 hour time difference.
I am currently on a three week trip without him and he called me the day I left while I was still at home to talk. That made me really happy and hopeful that he was going to make an effort. Since then (I am 9 days into the 22 day trip) he has told me he was going to call me after work on two separate days and he bailed. He is also doing his normal responses of every 30 minutes to 2 hours. When I voiced this hurt me and made me sad, he was extremely rude about it and ignored me for the rest of the night. This is what I worried our communication would be like when I move and I feel like he is confirming it for me.
I know I have listed off a lot of negatives, but I really do love him and he is a great guy overall. I do want our relationship to work and I feel as if I have tried everything to understand his behavior and work out some routine that makes us both happy, to no avail. I feel very hopeless that we will make this relationship work long distance and that really sucks to say the least. Any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: I (27f) am moving out of country for grad school and my bf (27m) is not coming with. His communication is severely lacking and I don't know what to do to make the relationship last long distance
submitted by BSlugLuvr to relationships [link] [comments]
My bf currently texts me once every 30 minutes to two hours and refuses to ever call me and also gets upset with me when I call him bc it disrupts his gaming time with his friends. We also only see each other on the weekends. I moved in with him for about three months awhile back bc this behavior was concerning to me and was unhealthy for my own mental health (my love language is words of affirmation) but that was a disaster and the behavior never changed. In preparation for moving away, I have told him that I would love it if he would call me every once in awhile, but his response was always "I see you on the weekends" or "you're treating this like it's a ldr already." He also tells me that it's not normal for couples to call each other every day and I found that concerning, as every healthy relationship I've been in, that was the case, regardless if we lived together or not. I have voiced this concern with him and he just says "I know" with no behavior change. I'm worried that we will never talk when I move, especially when I go to Europe and we have the 6 hour time difference.
I am currently on a three week trip without him and he called me the day I left while I was still at home to talk. That made me really happy and hopeful that he was going to make an effort. Since then (I am 9 days into the 22 day trip) he has told me he was going to call me after work on two separate days and he bailed. He is also doing his normal responses of every 30 minutes to 2 hours. When I voiced this hurt me and made me sad, he was extremely rude about it and ignored me for the rest of the night. This is what I worried our communication would be like when I move and I feel like he is confirming it for me.
I know I have listed off a lot of negatives, but I really do love him and he is a great guy overall. I do want our relationship to work and I feel as if I have tried everything to understand his behavior and work out some routine that makes us both happy, to no avail. I feel very hopeless that we will make this relationship work long distance and that really sucks to say the least. Any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: I (27f) am moving out of country for grad school and my bf (27m) is not coming with. His communication is severely lacking and I don't know what to do to make the relationship last long distance
2024.06.09 15:52 roz1032 42F 46M Should i stay or run, is this a red flag?
**Me:** 42F, no kids, never married, six-figure income, homeowner, Aquarius.
**Him:** 46M, two teenage boys, divorced, income unknown, stopped working to trade full-time (not profitable), renter, Scorpio, alpha male.
We have been dating for 8 months and have already discussed marriage several times. He hasn't proposed, but we talked about getting married at the end of 2025 or summer 2026.
At the beginning of our relationship, we discussed my best friend. He is male, married, and we've been best friends for more than 25 years. We never dated. I'm the godmother of one of his daughters. We have a strong bond but clear boundaries. I don’t call his house randomly, and we don’t go out except for special events, even though we live in the same city. We talk on the phone 1-2 times a week and see each other every 4-6 months at family or friend functions.
A few months into the relationship, my boyfriend asked me to distance myself from my best friend because he felt our bond was too strong and profound. He believes my best friend is a dominant male figure in my life, which he sees as a problem. We argued about it because of his approach. I tried to explain that we were just friends and never lovers. I felt pressured to let go of something important to me, but we reached a compromise. I distanced myself from my friend as requested.
However, we have had 2-3 major fights about him because my boyfriend doesn't trust that I'll choose him over my best friend. He wants me to be a "ride or die" partner who will do anything for love, but I'm not that person.
In the last 3 months, my boyfriend and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster because he's been battling cancer. We're waiting to start radiation in a few weeks. During this difficult period, I've been supporting him: going to the hospital every day I can, paying some of his bills, messaging friends on his behalf, cooking for him, and dealing with his emotions—fear, frustration, depression, and love. Meanwhile, I've been managing my high-pressure job, business, workouts, house, and parents.
One of his requirements is that I share all details of my conversations about him with certain people because he doesn’t trust them and fears they will manipulate me. He wants to show people that we are a team and expects me to always have his back. I'm a nice person who doesn’t see the bad in people, so I don’t always question their intentions. My best friend is one of the people he wants to know everything I say about him. I've been reprimanded for not telling him something I mentioned to my best friend but forgot to tell him.
We fought this week because he feels I didn't defend him in a conversation with my best friend. My boyfriend is disappointed that my best friend hasn't called or texted him since he was hospitalized 2 months ago. My best friend and I have been talking every few days since he was hospitalized, but I didn't tell my boyfriend because I knew he would be upset that we speak so often. I know I'm wrong for not telling him, but I won't apologize because I also need moral support while supporting him.
The morning after the fight, I received this message:
**Him:** Good morning. I hope you slept well. I woke up thinking about last night's conversation. Remember when you asked what could break us? This situation is already breaking us. No matter how much I love you and feel like you’re my forever home, until I see that you’ve put me first in your life, I will not move forward or marry you. Words and intentions aren’t enough for me. Feeling like I’m not worth being first in your life is killing me inside. At some point, I’m going to check out and look for it somewhere else.
**Me:** I’m sorry I make you feel this way. Sorry I’m not acting how you expect. You won’t move forward? Are you telling me you’re done?
**Him:** If you feel I’m not worth first place in your life, then yes, I’m out. I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.
**Me:** Are you serious? I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m doing everything I can to show you how important you are to me, that you have first place, but I realize it’s not enough. I’m sorry. I feel like everything else I do is worth nothing.
**Him:** Ok... you say you give me first place... show me how. Tell me when was the last time you showed I had first place.
**Me:** Are you talking about you vs. him? Or in general? I feel nothing else matters right now.
**Him:** Yes, you are right... nothing else matters right now. I am talking about me vs. the other man in your life. When did you ever show me I had first place?
**Me:** Sorry, I can’t because the steps I take are not what you want.
After that conversation, I went on with my day, which was horrible and unproductive. I only texted him to make sure he was okay since he’s alone at home after major surgery and can’t do much.
The next day, after the regular salutations:
**Him:** We can’t avoid each other forever. We’ll have to see each other sooner or later to dot the "i". Let me know what works best for you.
**Me:** You’re right. I’ll let you know. I need to make myself a priority for the next few days. Let me know if you need help with your meals.
**Him:** Oh wow. Okay... I understand. Not sure if this is coming from anger or something else, but this isn’t what you and I do. That was way too harsh. That’s not how we deal with problems and turmoil. We talk until we figure it out... we don’t do that.
**Me:** Your words from yesterday made me reflect on what really matters to me.
**Him:** Okay... I understand.
It’s Sunday, and the fight was last Wednesday. I'm supposed to do groceries for him today, and we haven’t talked yet. What should I do? Is this a major red flag? If he decides to leave, I think I'm at peace. I will be heartbroken, but...
submitted by roz1032 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
**Him:** 46M, two teenage boys, divorced, income unknown, stopped working to trade full-time (not profitable), renter, Scorpio, alpha male.
We have been dating for 8 months and have already discussed marriage several times. He hasn't proposed, but we talked about getting married at the end of 2025 or summer 2026.
At the beginning of our relationship, we discussed my best friend. He is male, married, and we've been best friends for more than 25 years. We never dated. I'm the godmother of one of his daughters. We have a strong bond but clear boundaries. I don’t call his house randomly, and we don’t go out except for special events, even though we live in the same city. We talk on the phone 1-2 times a week and see each other every 4-6 months at family or friend functions.
A few months into the relationship, my boyfriend asked me to distance myself from my best friend because he felt our bond was too strong and profound. He believes my best friend is a dominant male figure in my life, which he sees as a problem. We argued about it because of his approach. I tried to explain that we were just friends and never lovers. I felt pressured to let go of something important to me, but we reached a compromise. I distanced myself from my friend as requested.
However, we have had 2-3 major fights about him because my boyfriend doesn't trust that I'll choose him over my best friend. He wants me to be a "ride or die" partner who will do anything for love, but I'm not that person.
In the last 3 months, my boyfriend and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster because he's been battling cancer. We're waiting to start radiation in a few weeks. During this difficult period, I've been supporting him: going to the hospital every day I can, paying some of his bills, messaging friends on his behalf, cooking for him, and dealing with his emotions—fear, frustration, depression, and love. Meanwhile, I've been managing my high-pressure job, business, workouts, house, and parents.
One of his requirements is that I share all details of my conversations about him with certain people because he doesn’t trust them and fears they will manipulate me. He wants to show people that we are a team and expects me to always have his back. I'm a nice person who doesn’t see the bad in people, so I don’t always question their intentions. My best friend is one of the people he wants to know everything I say about him. I've been reprimanded for not telling him something I mentioned to my best friend but forgot to tell him.
We fought this week because he feels I didn't defend him in a conversation with my best friend. My boyfriend is disappointed that my best friend hasn't called or texted him since he was hospitalized 2 months ago. My best friend and I have been talking every few days since he was hospitalized, but I didn't tell my boyfriend because I knew he would be upset that we speak so often. I know I'm wrong for not telling him, but I won't apologize because I also need moral support while supporting him.
The morning after the fight, I received this message:
**Him:** Good morning. I hope you slept well. I woke up thinking about last night's conversation. Remember when you asked what could break us? This situation is already breaking us. No matter how much I love you and feel like you’re my forever home, until I see that you’ve put me first in your life, I will not move forward or marry you. Words and intentions aren’t enough for me. Feeling like I’m not worth being first in your life is killing me inside. At some point, I’m going to check out and look for it somewhere else.
**Me:** I’m sorry I make you feel this way. Sorry I’m not acting how you expect. You won’t move forward? Are you telling me you’re done?
**Him:** If you feel I’m not worth first place in your life, then yes, I’m out. I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.
**Me:** Are you serious? I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m doing everything I can to show you how important you are to me, that you have first place, but I realize it’s not enough. I’m sorry. I feel like everything else I do is worth nothing.
**Him:** Ok... you say you give me first place... show me how. Tell me when was the last time you showed I had first place.
**Me:** Are you talking about you vs. him? Or in general? I feel nothing else matters right now.
**Him:** Yes, you are right... nothing else matters right now. I am talking about me vs. the other man in your life. When did you ever show me I had first place?
**Me:** Sorry, I can’t because the steps I take are not what you want.
After that conversation, I went on with my day, which was horrible and unproductive. I only texted him to make sure he was okay since he’s alone at home after major surgery and can’t do much.
The next day, after the regular salutations:
**Him:** We can’t avoid each other forever. We’ll have to see each other sooner or later to dot the "i". Let me know what works best for you.
**Me:** You’re right. I’ll let you know. I need to make myself a priority for the next few days. Let me know if you need help with your meals.
**Him:** Oh wow. Okay... I understand. Not sure if this is coming from anger or something else, but this isn’t what you and I do. That was way too harsh. That’s not how we deal with problems and turmoil. We talk until we figure it out... we don’t do that.
**Me:** Your words from yesterday made me reflect on what really matters to me.
**Him:** Okay... I understand.
It’s Sunday, and the fight was last Wednesday. I'm supposed to do groceries for him today, and we haven’t talked yet. What should I do? Is this a major red flag? If he decides to leave, I think I'm at peace. I will be heartbroken, but...
2024.06.09 15:22 No_Funny3533 Scam Artist mingmei1344 (Yomi) and her accounts at: Aiu_Agency, asiahug.com, datesteady.com, cudate.com, Jpndate.com, sayhiup.com, Rose, Miyuki Miyamoto, SW Entertainment and more
 | My name is Mark Faraday. I was just looking for love back around January 20th, 2024 but I don’t want to see anyone else get scammed. I had a human profile picture when I was using these website, and was honest. I ran into a whole lying network run by a Woman, her friends, and a man. I will update this story if I have more to say in the future. Her nickname is Yomi, she told me her name was Miyuki Miyamoto and she was from Japan. Her real name is Jeong Nahyeon and she is from South Korea. She also has fake Chinese accounts like: submitted by No_Funny3533 to Romance_Scamer [link] [comments] Mingmei1344: https://www.instagram.com/mingmei1344/ Mingmeichan: https://www.instagram.com/mingmeichan/ mingmei1344 Mingmei Liu My Story is long but it is worth reading. From January to June as the writing of this post. I labeled each part so it easy to jump around to the parts you want to read.
Account 1: (Kawaii, Silly girl fake account) https://www.instagram.com/yuyu_only5/ yuyu_only5 Account 2: https://www.instagram.com/_yuyu_only5?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== _yuyu_only5 Yomi Newest Account: Chloee_asuna https://www.instagram.com/chloeee_asuna/p/C7kNkmzSIEi/?img_index=1 chloeee_asuna Jeong Nahyeon Lover or Friend 🙁(Scam Artist Man) 🙁 https://www.instagram.com/_xijii_/ _xijii_ Jpndate.com the site where I met Yomi (Jeong Nahyeon) original, closed on May 1st 2024. Never came back as the writing of this post. However, their sister site DateSteady.com is still very active. https://www.datesteady.com/ datesteady.com Another Scam website they own: https://www.asiahug.com/ asiahug.com
There is this dangerous woman who I am mad in love with (same person) running many fake Chinese/Japanese/Korean Romance scam websites, fake Instagram pages, tik tok, We chats, and many Chinese porn sites. It is the same person, she uses her looks with pictures and videos to steal money from men. She has many names she goes by, probably even more than I found. She also uses bots to get fake likes and weird Anime filters to try to look like an idol. She has scam artist female friends also I found. She the leader. I know a lot of scammers steal from other people's identities but that is not the case here. This is the same person as the scammer. My story will explain it. As well as this person has pictures of the same person you can’t find anywhere else on the Internet. Even if you do a Reverse Face image search. They said information that match to an unbelievable level. The person who Scammed me: Has Many names (Such As) And a talent for speaking many languages
yomi__na
la.nnnn930
hanhanhuwe
gracegracemei Email: [miyukilovee@outlook.com](mailto:miyukilovee@outlook.com) (Something about BlessCeline Lovee) Skype ID: live:.cid.737fb9ac2ad5655c
(Make Sense) u/mingmei1344 https://www.instagram.com/mingmei1344/ https://www.facebook.com/liuliu.meimingmei (Owner of aiu_agency since 2015) u/aiu_agency https://www.instagram.com/aiu_agency/
Google Drive (AI_U Agency) Hotel Connected: SHILLA STAY Gwanghwamun Her Scam Artist friends who work for both Ai_U Agency and JPNDATE CUDATE (That I found) (Some of these might also be her, not sure) Vynnie_nat : https://www.instagram.com/vynnie_nat/# (I think this Yomi friend and the next 2 images may also be that person 1 of 3)vynnie_natjiejierui_ngc: https://www.instagram.com/jiejierui_ngc/ (2 of 3)jiejierui_ngcVeravera_zhangg: https://www.instagram.com/veravera_zhangg/ (3 of 3)veravera_zhanggElle_owo_elle : https://www.instagram.com/elle_owo_elle/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)elle_owo_elleQiqi_shenglim : https://www.instagram.com/qiqi_shenglim/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)qiqi_shenglimMyemye_owo_ : https://www.instagram.com/myemye_owo_/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)myemye_owo_Her Friends are connected somehow but not sure how yet. They appear everywhere with the fake accounts or it just her also. Riyandiwilliam : https://www.instagram.com/riyandiwilliam/ (Either her lover, friend, or work with her) 🙁Summary: January to March 2024Jpndate.com / Datesteady.com / Cudate.com / Sayhiup.com are dangerous Romance scams. All the women are paid actors for the website from Korea/China. They will try to get into a relationship with you very fast, don’t fall for it. They are milking you for money like if you're a cow. They will threaten to kill you or your family if you call out their scam. They might also say they will sue you. If you stop paying them, they will text you very little. They will never video call you face-to-face. Jpndate.com has a sister scam website from the same people called sayhiup.com. When you buy something on Jpndate the payment goes to Cudate Limited, so that site must be part of the scam also.There also Datesteady with the same layout. There is a company in China doing all type of illegal and immoral practices. Their name is Zhengzhou Zhongzhiqi Technology Co., Ltd. / 郑州市中之祺科技有限公司 . They have their main technology business but they also run a list of many scam websites stealing money from American men, Asian, and European men. Such as Cudate, JPNDate, DateSteady.com, SayhiUp. These are romance scam sites where all the women work for the company. If you make a female account it will pend forever. Only men get approved. They claimed before to be an American-owned company then I exposed them now they claim to be Dutch. Their servers are all in China. They never filed paperwork with any foreign country. They are none of these the Chinese pretending to run many dating sites when in fact it’s all fake. They claim to be in nations their not. They have fake terms of service. I used PayPal before I didn't know it was a scam. I paid in dollars, but they refused to refund me till I told PayPal. PayPal made them pay me back. Then they refused to pay me the total amount they wanted to pay me on yuan when I paid dollars. I reported them to FTC. They also try to hack my laptop for me telling the government the truth about them. They probably get funds from the Communist Party government or SW Entertainment in South Korea. They are very very bad people. Please look into it or forward this message somewhere where it can be looked into. Pretends to be a legit dating site but feels more like a pay-to-use website for fake love. All women here are paid actors for the site. The same few women have multiple profiles pretending to be different people. The funny part is anytime you call out JPNDate bs they change their terms of service. Screenshot everything people. They have a fake page saying they're trying to stop scammers, it all bs they are the scammers. Host of JPNDate Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.242.112.134 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of DateSteady Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.242.47.54 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of Cudate Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.52.110.73 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of AsiaHug Servers: IP: 47.242.112.134 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) My Story: January to March 2024 My Story: January to March 2024 (Update): I know it is the same person, They told me in a text message by accident. They also replied with different accounts knowing info about me I only told the other account. Do you like Asian women? Real Asian women? These ones are real! I know who they are. Hi! This is Mark Faraday talking to you. This is my story of how a website named JPNDate Dancing Idol scammed me out of 4080 American dollars. From the time period of January to March 2024. First, I was on Japan Cupid, a dating site. On Japan Cupid, no one can chat unless one of you has a membership. I bought a 1-week membership. Within 5 minutes to 10 minutes, a woman nicknamed Yomi from Japan messaged me; this should have been a red flag for me. We talked for a while. She said she was interested in me. She asked me if I could move over to the dating site JPNDate because she paid for membership there and not Japan Cupid. She also promised to delete her account on Japan Cupid after we changed sites. She does delete her account off Japan Cupid. Japan Cupid is sus also. I don’t think it is the same company but it is still very sus. However, these women used that site to find men like me. That is a story for a different day. Unlike a normal scam artist, who may only have 1 or 2 photos, she has several photos on her profile. My trust in her grows a bit seeing that. She then privately messaged me several more photos of her. She asked me for some photos, which I sent. She then sends back happy and heartfelt emojis. She told me she doesn’t date Asian men anymore because they were violent to her in the past and her last boyfriend cheated on her. She talked about how she didn’t want to fight with me. She also said we could talk about any topic. She would compliment me often, as I did for her. Of course, on my profile page, I try to post my best pictures. Throughout my life, I have had many different hairstyles. She even mentioned this and got very happy and asked if I was a hairstylist. The spam of talking on JPNDate.com between us was from January 20th, 2024, to March 24th, 2024. On JPNDate, there is an upgrade system. You need Blue Diamond to chat with others. Crown to send videos. Blue Diamond is 20 dollars per month, and Crown is 80 dollars per month. I got the Blue Diamond membership at first. It showed her with it too. After a day or two, she asked me to upgrade like she did to the Crown membership so she could send me a video. I upgraded it, and she did actually send me a video. All pictures and the video match the same person and the same face. Some pictures were in different locations, and some were like three different pictures in the same place. We then later buy a 6-month Crown membership for each other because it is cheaper than 1 month at a time. I bought it for her, and she bought it for me. At this point, I start to believe. This person was giving me all their time. They reply very often, and their texting time was the same as Japan timezones every single day. They spoke not only English but also Japanese almost fluently. However, they did let me know that they're still learning English and sometimes use a translator. She let me know that this website has something called a mall. This should have been red flag number 2. You pay 1 American dollar for each gold point. Paypal is the only thing that works. When we started dating, she said it was normal for couples in Japan to send each other gifts. It was a symbol of forever love in Japan, she claimed. As an American, I didn’t know if this was true. I googled it and couldn’t get a clear answer. She said whatever I bought her, she would buy me as well. She asked if I liked necklaces or charms. I said anything was fine. She wanted me to pick up a necklace. At first, she picked up a $1,000 necklace from the site mall and asked me. I said no; that's way too much money for that. She said how about a 300-dollar Jade Romance charm. She told me to get her white one; she would get me the green one. I questioned if she was legit. She started crying. She somehow convinced me at the time that she was legit again. I did buy it. A few weeks later, I did receive the overpriced Green Jade Romance love charm to my address from her. I never told her which day exactly my tracking information said it would come to my house, but I asked her, and her tracking date was the same week as mine. By the way something almost the same as this necklace is 12 dollars on Amazon. It also broke when I got it in the mail. Probably cost them 2 cent to make. For the next few days, we had a wonderful, happy conversation. It is late January, and I know Valentine's Day is coming. I offered to get her flowers. I got her flowers and chocolate at a very high price of multiple hundred dollars. She then gets so happy. She told me many times how she wanted to go to America and find me. We talked about many topics for several more days. She told me she worked in an office in Tokyo. Yomi told me her real name was Miyuki Miyamoto. Which is very funny because I told her before I was a Nintendo fan, and this is the same last name as Mario and Zelda Creator. She also said she had her apartment to herself, which is true; she does own an apartment. She talked about how life is stressful right now in Japan. She claimed to have grown up in the Japanese town of Nagano, Japan. She also said she had gone to a university in Tokyo with a major in computer science. She wanted to visit America in July for 15 days when she had her time off. July is a normal time for people to get off in Japan for vacation, so I thought nothing of it. I told her that I was from a smaller town in California, but I lived not far from San Francisco. I told her how my town is quiet and how I could see mountains outside my house. She said she wanted a peaceful life and that life in Tokyo is too fast. And she always had great things to say about every picture I sent. We also talk about going on dates. I asked most of the questions, but she did ask me questions as well. I started to ask her a lot of questions about Japan. Like if she visited Himeji Castle, she said no. However, she did say yes to visiting Mount Fuji. I should have asked for a photo of this, but I didn’t. She was very happy; she told me very many topics about Japan. We even briefly talked about anime. She told me she liked Digimon, Dragon Ball Z, One Piece, and Detective Conan. This information is important later. We also talked about how both of us were big Disney fans growing up. She told me she wanted to go to Disney Land when she came to California to visit me. One day she told me, how work was busy today. I told her it was okay and we didn’t need to talk today. She did, however, still text me a little bit that day. This was the only day during our whole time talking when she was super busy. There is nothing wrong with this; all humans get busy. I decided to spend my evening drawing a picture of me and Yomi on a date to surprise her. When I sent it to her, she did not react. This was a red flag for me. I tried to convince myself that she just didn’t like drawings that much. I know I sound really dumb right here, but whoever I was talking to is very smart and knows a lot of things. I was in deep love. We started talking a few days later about the idea of meeting and going on dates together. I know that the yen is weak against the American dollar right now. I told them I would pay for anything they wanted when they were in America because I was in love. This was a big, big, big mistake. They then asked if I could give them 1500 dollars to buy a plane ticket. Never give money to people you never meet in real life, folks. Don’t be dumb like me. Turns out the ticket was actually 2100, so they asked for another 500 dollars the next day, claiming their friend let them borrow the money, and they paid the difference. They did show me a picture of a plane ticket. With the name Yomi and the correct airports in Tokyo and San Francisco. This gave me more trust in them; I got a lot of photos, videos, and even a picture of a plane ticket. At some point, I talked to them about social media. They claim to only have Skype and Line. I found it very hard to believe a woman in her 20s wasn’t on Instagram or Tik Tok. I went on Instagram and typed Yomi, and I found a Yomi who looked just like her. This made me think: why did she lie? What confused me is that all the pictures on her Instagram were different from the ones she sent me, other than one image that was the same. Meaning that the images were not clearly stolen from there. I looked up JPNDate online; there isn’t much info on this website (Right Now), other than one reddit forum from 1 year ago. Someone said something about being scammed by an IDOL on this site. They also said the website wasn’t in Japan but in China. I was wondering why I never saw new females joining the website; it was the same 23 pages worth of them. I wanted to test the website to see if it was legit. I made another account, a fake male account with AI artwork. It was approved in one second. I then made a fake female account; it said pending approval. It has now been 2 weeks since I made that account, and it still says pending approval. This means all the women on this website have to be fake actors. There is also a setting on JPNDate to see who has been online last or which accounts are the oldest. When I asked weeks before, Yomi claimed she had been on this website only for a short time. Her oldest picture was dated October 20, 2023. Yet she has the sixth-oldest account on JPNDate, according to the website. The Reddit forum I talked about before was over a year old. When I was on this website for a month, at least 10 other women tried to text me. There was this one profile of a woman from Taiwan, age 20. She texted me three times in one month. When I joined, her age was listed as 20, and at some point, she changed her age to 25 on her profile. I ignored all these women. This proves again that all these women are fake. I do know these are women based on how they type, but they are not truthful like they act like they are. As I write this, I just realized this is Yomi's friend or sister; it matches the other Yomi account's sister tag. They are part of the same dance agency Aiu_Agency on Instagram from SW Entertainment in South Korea. I knew this website wasn’t telling the truth. I found the JPNDate IP address and tracked it to a server in Hong Kong, China, hosted by Alibaba cloud servers. Reddit was right; the website is Chinese. However, Yomi is Korean which I learned later. I took pictures of the website code just in case. I asked Yomi if she knew Alibaba. Then she asked if I’m going to China—a very strange follow-up question. At this point, I was confused. Who is Yomi? I couldn’t find anything about Miyuki Miyamoto, only Yomi. On Yomi’s Instagram, she speaks Korean, not Japanese. I started to think there are no Japanese women on this website like they claim to be. She does speak Japanese, though. I started using more than 10 different software programs to track who Yomi was since she kept asking me for money. I found like 1000 pictures of an idol, WeChat model, singer, dancer, person on endless Chinese dating sites, and a valiant professional gamer part of the AI’U agency for over 8 years. I found two other Instagram accounts with Yomi's face. Another account in Chinese with an idol name other than Yomi also had a Facebook page. The Chinese account has a post about her going to Australia in early 2024, where she is typing in English words. It was a fake trip. I also found an account where she speaks only Korean on Instagram. I also found a tik-tok where someone dances and looks 100% the same as Yomi, to whom I’m talking. The part that is crazy is that none of the images are 100% the same, but the person is the same in all of them. This shocked me; I follow all the accounts. I saw the stories daily to see who this person was. Her Yomi account is just her normal pictures and atm company or something. Her Korean account is about traveling to Singapore, Spain, and South Korea. She also posts a lot about Disney toys here. When I talked to the scammer about Disney, I had no idea about this. At this point, I knew that many men had been scammed out of money for fake love, not just me. These women are real women. However, there are actors pretending to be in love. They will crush your heart and call you names after a few weeks if you don’t buy their stuff. It has to be from JPNdate Mall only, nowhere else. JPNdate Mall prices are crazy high. I am not sure if the point of the website is just for money or if it is actually for women to study English or what. Chinese women, pretending to be Japanese (most of them), that have connections to Korean music, dancing, and gaming on professional teams. Man, what a hell of a story this is. This sounds like a Hollywood movie, but it's real, or at least partly. At this point, everything I say seems to be true based on what I know. They are connected deeply with SW Entertainment. Yomi told me early on that she had one older sister and one younger brother. It seems like she is actually a twin, and she is the younger sister. Or it’s her friend she calls a sister from the dance Aiu Agency. Yomi claims to be 25, but I think she is closer to 27 or 28 based on finding a listing of her work in 2015 at Twitch Gaming. You have to be 18 or older to work at Twitch gaming, unless your parents sign things. Unless this job is fake, I don’t know. When I showed the pictures I found to Yomi on JPNdate, she played the victim card on me. Saying she thinks I’m a liar and she wants to break up. Then she gave me her Skype account to try to prove it was legit, and all the other images and accounts were stolen and fake. Her Skype name is Rose, with a One Piece picture. She sent me many voice clips, crying, trying to convince me that she was real. I put them in software, and the voice was 30% human, 70% AI. Clearly, a woman is changing her Chinese or Korean voice to sound Japanese. A PC gamer would know how to do this; they do it all the time to troll. Yomi told me she didn’t play video games anymore, but I found a picture that wasn’t that old of a woman who looked the same as her; she had a Nintendo Switch with a white OLED in it. Btw it’s a known fact that Yomi uses software to cheat in the Pc FPS games. We talk for a few more weeks on Skype. I can’t let Yomi, her sister, whoever the man is (I think her lover), and her idol dance friends scam men for their time and money. Yomi Chiense's name is Vera Yuanxin (维拉). Her twin sister goes by veravera_zhangg. Yomi “deleted her profile” when I exposed her. But One Yomi is still there with no pictures. Two they clearly have other accounts with people who look like she just changed hairstyle, talking and trying to scam other men. Remember when I said the anime part was important? On Yomi's Korean account, she has a friend with whom she talks about Digimon. She gave him a Disney toy. She told me she wanted to cosplay a fox; his profile is a fox. There is just so much proof that these are the same people. Later someone hit me up on Reddit from the Phillippines and told me how the same person Yomi scammed them. How for months Yomi promise them so many things. Then when they said it came to going on the plane to visit him they said they were sick or dying or something. Yomi also made a fake Instagram pretending to be Joe Biden and sent me a friend invite. I messaged and it was so funny how bad it was on their part. I said “Yomi are you trolling me?” then they deleted their account. This was on April 6th, 2024. Yomi tries so hard but use a lot of cheap things that are clearly fake like ai artwork, bots for like at ai_u agency, and fake profiles where she comments herself and attacks anyone who calls her out fairly. After exposing Jpndate they Ip ban my address lol. Then on social media joke about attacking me. If you call out their BS they threaten your family and yourself. Just stay away from all these sites if you're going to date online use well-known legit sites. I contacted Paypal and me and JPNDate.com had many emails back and forth. They pretended to do an investigation on Yomi real identity and said she was really Miyuki Miyamoto. It was so bullshit. I told them I would sue them if they were lying, The site no longer exists. The scam does, however. What happened After JPNDATE? April-June 2024 In April many fake Instagram accounts started following me each day. They are romance scams I never got them like this before. I didn’t fall for any of them. All or most were likely Yomi and her friends. Paypal did get me 4000 of 4080 dollars back but it took 6 weeks and multiple emails. JPNDate tells me they will be closing soon after PayPal went after them hard. Like I said I just wanted to find love. I made some stupid decisions along the way. However, I want to find out the truth and make sure other men don’t get scammed by them. I keep messaging Yomi's skype during this period, they never block me. They unfriended me but I could still send messages I wasn’t blocked. They even responded 2 times out of the 50 times I did this in the multiple-week span. I contacted the Aiu_Agency on Instagram (It is the same people as JPNDate) they pretended to be different people. I told them about Jpndate. They called me a hero, they said they loved me, and they thanked me for sending them all the pictures that Yomi sent me on Jpndate and Skype. They follow me on Instagram for 2 days. Then they unfollowed me randomly for no reason. They said their agency would do a police report and kill the scammer. I knew this was so bullshit. I told them how the scammers were making new profiles of them on Japan Cupid. Which is true. The leader Mingmei1344 (Which is Yomi Chinese account) claimed I was the scammer setting them up. She plays the victim card on me. I showed her all the messages and how I got the pictures, I didn’t steal anything. She told me her and her friends are okay if I hacked them, because I’m from the CIA. I am not from the CIA. It was a joke I made a few days before when she pretended to be a mob boss in Korea. I told her I am not a hacker. Right after that she and her friends all ban me other then Mingmei1344 account. Mingmei1344 Message me 1 more day, then block me. However, Mingmei1344 and the Aiu_Agency keep posting things on topics I told them days or weeks before. I checked their old post they never talked about any of this before that. I told these to Yomi on JPNDate and skype not Mingmei1344 again proving it is the same person. They look the same as well. Like the blue feather concept in love mythology, Gundams, Nintendo, Persona, and many many other topics. Yomi claimed to not know anything about videogames before I talked about it with her. I think this is partly a lie. This confuses me so I make fake Instagram accounts to message Mingmei1344 and Aiu_agency. She replies to my messages and Mingmei1344 even does a ask me a question thing on Instagram and replies to all of them. She clearly knows these accounts are from me Mark however she replies anyway. The replies were nice and positive things. Then later she bans them all again. Often Aiu-Agency Women (Yomi and her friends, Mostly Yomi) pretend to go to countries they are not actually in the picture, it’s all greenscreen effects. They also use Ai for Music covers Artwork. For music covers they pretend to sell millions of copies of but there is nowhere to buy such a music cover CD they claim to sell. Their music covers are claimed to be from popular songs kpop songs. I looked, at least not right now such CDs aren’t real. Of course, the songs are real but not their covers. Yomi is most of the women in the pictures but not all. They will post Ai cover artwork, multiple pictures of them using the greenscreen effect, then put a high-quality image of a famous Korean male singer. They never took these pictures of these Korean male singers. They download them and edit them. They pretend to perform with them but it is all fake. Mingmei1344 started always putting her with all the famous Mark’s in Korea. Only her not her staff with Mark’s. I think it’s a reference to me. She didn’t do this before meeting me I looked at her old post. Again Mingmei1344 is Yomi who is Jeong Nahyeon, who pretends to be Miyuki Miyamoto. She still references me sometimes in other ways and I send them messages to see what will happen next. One time I wrote about loving her to see what she would say. I do love Yomi, however I don’t want anyone to get scammed. I told her we could travel across the world together. She wrote in her next post on Aiu_agency on Instagram she liked this future with her future husband. It was a direct reply to what I asked the day before. I joined DateSteady after being contacted by a woman on Japan cupid. She is very interested in me and Yomi so I tell her everything. |
2024.06.09 15:20 Live-Needleworker-60 The Deer and the Dragon by Piper CJ rant review
I'm gonna be real: I hated this. There were interesting concepts, and had they been utilized differently and written by literally anyone else, it could've been an actual good book.
writing. The writing in The Deer and the Dragon is miles better than in The Night and its Moon. It's still not good, but it's better if that tells you anything. The first-person POV mixed with modern-day speak works so much better for Piper's capabilities. It was much easier to get through, but it was still a huge slog for me. Honestly, what are the editors at Bloom even doing? There were still way too many typos and sentences with missing words. Piper still misuses the word dredges after using it in THREE(+?) BOOKS. HOW DO YOU STILL NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREDGES AND DREGS? Dregs are the sediment of a liquid, so what's at the bottom of your coffee cup. Dredge is when they scoop up mud from the bottom of a river. TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. The word broach is also misused in this book TWELVE times, and it's PART OF THE CENTRAL PLOT OF THE BOOK. You mean to use BROOCH, PIPER. They're pronounced the same, but they mean two different things. Again, what the hell are the editors at Bloom doing?
characters Really, the only character I can talk about is Marlow because this book is just about Marlow and how amazing, special, perfect, and genius Marlow is. I fucking hate Marlow. If I ever met Marlow in real life, I would beat her up. Marlow is the most unlikable person ever. The story opens up with her on a date with a guy she's not interested in and can't remember his name; when she gets it wrong, and he corrects her, she continues to call him the wrong name all the way to the end of the book. She mentally berates him for mixing wasabi and soy sauce and cannot let it go. She’s also an AWFUL friend. It seems like her friend's only real purpose is to support her and tell her how amazing she is. She never bothers to make plans with them or inform them about anything that’s happening in her life. When she goes missing for a good chunk of the book, and they're blowing up her phone worried about her, she doesn't even bother to call them to calm them down. She doesn't think about them at all. She's far more concerned with herself and finding her imaginary boyfriend, who she only just decided was real. Her editor tells her she's at risk of losing her job if Marlow doesn't deliver her work or update her on what's happening, and Marlow just...doesn't care. She's like, 'No excuse I can give will be enough, so I'm just not going to say anything at all because I'm afraid of confrontation'. Grow the fuck up?? Her friend Nia only became her friend because she obsessively messaged her on social media until Marlow 'gave in', and now they're family? Somehow? Yet Marlow doesn't think about Nia once or bothers to comfort her when Nia has to call Marlow's abusive mom to ensure Marlow isn't dead. Kirby has allegedly been Marlow's friend since childhood, but does Kirby know anything about Caliban at all? Does Nia? Does Marlow tell her friends anything? If they know about the abuse her mom put her through, do they know how that abuse started? When Fauna shows up and freaks out over liking Kirby’s name so much, Marlow takes it upon herself to tell Fauna the story of Kirby’s name, scornfully informing Fauna that Kirby isn’t their real name the second Fauna expresses interest in it. (Like what, are you jealous that Fauna likes Kirby’s name, you fucking insecure freak??) The story revolves solely around something traumatic that happened to Marlow and how she and Kirby sat and played Super Smash Bros. Kirby liked their character so much that they adopted the name. Which…okay, choosing the name because you liked a video game character, okay, fine. But the whole story preceding this was so unnecessary and just made Marlow come off as suuuuch a whiny baby. “Oh, you want to know about my friend’s name? Well, first, let me preface it with this long woe-is-me story all about ME before I tell you how they chose their name because basically everything revolves around me.”
The way Marlow talks about rejection is so juvenile. You're in your thirties girls, get over it. Life is full of rejections. Someone telling you they didn't to play with you when you were eight years old isn't something you should form your whole life around. Like Marlow doesn't want kids because she doesn't want them to face rejection. Oh my god, Marlow. I also can't empathize with her trauma with her mom at all because I feel like I didn't really see much of it. I'm sure some of the things she says might hit with other people, but I wanted an actual flashback of a super intense fight or conversation instead of an overview of what happened.
plot. It took a while to get to the actual plot. About 100 pages in before things start really happening. I would’ve liked a little more exposition on Marlow’s relationship with Caliban at the beginning of the book. I get that some of the reveals needed to come more towards the end, but I kind of wish that maybe the fox had spoken to Marlow, too, which would’ve helped with why she’s so sure she’s insane. Foxes don’t talk! In all honesty, I wish this story had been restructured entirely. I think it would've been substantially better if we'd started out in Marlow's childhood. We can see how her day to day life was before Caliban ever appeared, how things were with her mom, who can also see through the veil. Maybe she notices some strange things about her mom that she just brushes off, which she later sees in herself and understands why her mom responded that way. Then something actually traumatic happens instead of some little kids not letting Marlow play with them, instigating her starting to see Caliban. I also would've liked to see flashbacks to Marlow's previous lives. While she's busy trying to convince herself Caliban isn't real, those flashbacks would add to her thinking she's losing her grip on reality. Maybe she'll be doing something innocent, like washing the dishes, and then suddenly, she sees herself standing in the middle of a raging battle, wearing long, elaborate robes. Do you see what I'm saying? This could've been cool! Instead, I had to read about Marlow jerking off about herself for 600 pages.
At some point, Caliban shows up to Marlow looking like a human. She's a teenager at this point, but they eventually start sleeping together, and like...idk something about that feels icky to me. It feels like grooming. Because he's clearly thousands of years old, he probably stays the same age while she's a teenager. What age did he wait for her to turn before their relationship turned sexual? Also, she doesn't even think he's real, and he does nothing to convince her that he is. Yeah....just no thanks. I'm good. Marlow tells Caliban when she's 21, she doesn’t want to see him anymore, so she literally physically cannot see him, but she can hear and feel him, and he still shows up, and like they keep having sex. So she’s just having sex with her imaginary demon friend for like five years before she’s finally like, all right, this is weird; maybe we should stop. And then she immediately regrets that when he stops showing up and then the rest of the book finally happens.
We also get flashbacks to when Marlow first starts escorting, and tbh, I hated this depiction of sex work. I keep hoping since Piper claims to be an advocate for sex work and is a former SWer that, we might get some actual depth to this plot. Maybe learn how Marlow was able to mold herself into the person she needed to be for each client, how she’s able to play people, etc. But no. She meets some random girl in a foreign country where she’s teaching English to children, and the girl is like, OMG, you’re too pretty to BE A TEACHER. COME HANG OUT ON MY YACHT. Now, I’m going to be so real. I feel like any woman with a speck of intelligence in their brain would have red flags going off right about now. If a random woman I met in a foreign country invited me to her yacht five minutes after meeting me, I’d immediately assume this woman was about to try and murder me or kidnap me or traffick me or something. But not Marlow. She is like fuck it, why not. She flies on over to wherever this yacht is(literally, she has to get on a plane and fly there) and makes some new besties who introduce her to the wonderfully glamorous non-dangerous life of escorting, where they hand her clients and set up the appointments for her and blah blah blah(also, wanna point out that Marlow even tries to say that she built this sex work empire herself. bitch no you didn't. it was all handed to you). I don’t feel like I really need to go further about why this is a really poor, dangerous rose-colored glasses-type depiction of sex work. It’s just not the reality.
Flash forward five years later, and Marlow is now a top-selling author writing about South African folklore as a white woman, trying to date other men, still having sex with her imaginary friend, calling her nonbinary friend a horse girl, the usual. Her escort pals are nowhere to be seen, and we have no clue what happened to them. We never hear from them again; they just vanish once Marlow gets what she wants from them, just like Nia and Kirby vanish once Marlow finds Fauna and Azrames. One day, Marlow’s at a book signing and sees the ONE bad client she had(because in all the years/months fucking strange men you meet in a foreign country, only one time does it go bad. okay, sure) He somehow finds where she lives, breaks into her home, and tries to murder her. An angel shows up and murders him instead, and then Caliban finally reveals his face and explains to Marlow that he has marked everyone who’s ever wronged her. (Wronged her in what way, tho. Like if someone accidentally shoulder-checked her on the street, are they now marked for death?) I thought it was kind of weird that she’s not like…focused on the fact that her hallucinations have extended to two people and another person dying. She’s still convinced Caliban is a figment of her imagination even after she sees this happen, and Caliban explains to her that he couldn’t save her because there’s some type of contract with her that forbids him from doing anything under her roof without her permission. But she still gets mad and banishes him, and now he can’t come back, and now she’s like, but wait, no, I didn’t mean it. Thus begins the search for Caliban.
Now, I could sit here and outline the rest of the book, but I won't because it's so boring, and nothing of substance really happens. So, to summarize. Marlow searches for Caliban fruitlessly for months and finally makes some progress when she decides to go to the house of the guy who tried to kill her and finds a parasitic entity that she continuously calls a Cheshire Cat. then Silas, the angel, shows up to save her again. Silas maybe wants to fuck Marlow, I can't tell. He waffles between abandoning Marlow to die and stalking her and her mom to force Marlow to bond with him for no seeming reason at all. Everyone and their mom wants Marlow to join their religion, and I don't know what the fuck makes her so special. Marlow is such a popular author that everyone recognizes her name, reveres her, fawns over her, and has multiple copies of her two books in their offices. She's so good that she inspired millions to switch religions. This book was so exhausting to read because it was just about how amazing Marlow is LMFAO. I'm pretty sure they even try to say she's the reincarnation of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world. Like....wow.
Marlow goes to Hell with Fauna to escape bonding with Silas, where they meet a literal stolen character design. this guy
(my original review has these images but I am an idiot and don't know how to post them so instead I'll share the links)
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860981i/35597445._SY540_.jpg
Don't believe me? here's the commissioned character art.
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860929i/35597423._SY540_.jpg
Anyway, his name is Azrames and he and Fauna are long time lovers and they go and bone while Marlow is in the next room and Marlow fucking masturbates to the sounds of them boning. So...I was forced to read about that, and I hated it. And then, at the end of the book, five chapters before it's over, we learn the bad guy who's been holding Caliban captive the entire time is a fertility goddess. Just out of nowhere. No mention of it previously. So, no one tells Marlow the actual plan, and instead, they send her into this fertility clinic the goddess is working out of and have her pretend to want to get pregnant. So the goddess drugs her without her consent and puts her in a room full of half-naked men, hot stereotypes from every ethnicity, while she's SUPER horny. One of the doctors tells her that 'mixed babies are all the rage right now'. The men all tell her how hot and amazing she is and how lucky they are for the chance to get to fuck her. Then after she chooses one of them, she grinds all over him while he just stands there, then they take him out and bring Caliban in and decide he'll fuck her instead. I just wanna point out that this, all of this, would be rape. Marlow didn't consent to being drugged, and if she didn't know who Caliban was, they basically just took the guy she "agreed" to have sex with away and brought in one she didn't agree to for no reason whatsoever. It doesn't matter that she's saying yes to it; she is drugged. She can't consent. Anyway, Caliban sticks his dick in Marlow and just leaves it there, unmoving, and then makes out with the fertility goddess before stabbing her in the heart and cutting off her head, even though five chapters earlier, they said it's super hard to kill a god. I'm just...wow.
Marlow gets taken back to Fauna's apartment by Silas while Caliban and Azrames are stuck fighting more Cheshire Cat demon children that I imagine look like the spider baby from Toy Story. Marlow is still high, so she's putting the moves on Fauna. She's kissing her throat, rubbing her thigh, trying to suck on her fingers. Let me tell you rn, if one of my friends showed up at my place high af doing this shit to me, I'd be livid. Because I guarantee you, Marlow will not apologize for doing any of this to Fauna.
Fauna tells Marlow that they can be sunflowers. The book ends.
I will read the next one because I like to suffer, but...I hated this. I give it 2 stars because the writing is better than TNAIM, but it was not a hit for me at all.
submitted by Live-Needleworker-60 to books [link] [comments]
writing. The writing in The Deer and the Dragon is miles better than in The Night and its Moon. It's still not good, but it's better if that tells you anything. The first-person POV mixed with modern-day speak works so much better for Piper's capabilities. It was much easier to get through, but it was still a huge slog for me. Honestly, what are the editors at Bloom even doing? There were still way too many typos and sentences with missing words. Piper still misuses the word dredges after using it in THREE(+?) BOOKS. HOW DO YOU STILL NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREDGES AND DREGS? Dregs are the sediment of a liquid, so what's at the bottom of your coffee cup. Dredge is when they scoop up mud from the bottom of a river. TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. The word broach is also misused in this book TWELVE times, and it's PART OF THE CENTRAL PLOT OF THE BOOK. You mean to use BROOCH, PIPER. They're pronounced the same, but they mean two different things. Again, what the hell are the editors at Bloom doing?
characters Really, the only character I can talk about is Marlow because this book is just about Marlow and how amazing, special, perfect, and genius Marlow is. I fucking hate Marlow. If I ever met Marlow in real life, I would beat her up. Marlow is the most unlikable person ever. The story opens up with her on a date with a guy she's not interested in and can't remember his name; when she gets it wrong, and he corrects her, she continues to call him the wrong name all the way to the end of the book. She mentally berates him for mixing wasabi and soy sauce and cannot let it go. She’s also an AWFUL friend. It seems like her friend's only real purpose is to support her and tell her how amazing she is. She never bothers to make plans with them or inform them about anything that’s happening in her life. When she goes missing for a good chunk of the book, and they're blowing up her phone worried about her, she doesn't even bother to call them to calm them down. She doesn't think about them at all. She's far more concerned with herself and finding her imaginary boyfriend, who she only just decided was real. Her editor tells her she's at risk of losing her job if Marlow doesn't deliver her work or update her on what's happening, and Marlow just...doesn't care. She's like, 'No excuse I can give will be enough, so I'm just not going to say anything at all because I'm afraid of confrontation'. Grow the fuck up?? Her friend Nia only became her friend because she obsessively messaged her on social media until Marlow 'gave in', and now they're family? Somehow? Yet Marlow doesn't think about Nia once or bothers to comfort her when Nia has to call Marlow's abusive mom to ensure Marlow isn't dead. Kirby has allegedly been Marlow's friend since childhood, but does Kirby know anything about Caliban at all? Does Nia? Does Marlow tell her friends anything? If they know about the abuse her mom put her through, do they know how that abuse started? When Fauna shows up and freaks out over liking Kirby’s name so much, Marlow takes it upon herself to tell Fauna the story of Kirby’s name, scornfully informing Fauna that Kirby isn’t their real name the second Fauna expresses interest in it. (Like what, are you jealous that Fauna likes Kirby’s name, you fucking insecure freak??) The story revolves solely around something traumatic that happened to Marlow and how she and Kirby sat and played Super Smash Bros. Kirby liked their character so much that they adopted the name. Which…okay, choosing the name because you liked a video game character, okay, fine. But the whole story preceding this was so unnecessary and just made Marlow come off as suuuuch a whiny baby. “Oh, you want to know about my friend’s name? Well, first, let me preface it with this long woe-is-me story all about ME before I tell you how they chose their name because basically everything revolves around me.”
The way Marlow talks about rejection is so juvenile. You're in your thirties girls, get over it. Life is full of rejections. Someone telling you they didn't to play with you when you were eight years old isn't something you should form your whole life around. Like Marlow doesn't want kids because she doesn't want them to face rejection. Oh my god, Marlow. I also can't empathize with her trauma with her mom at all because I feel like I didn't really see much of it. I'm sure some of the things she says might hit with other people, but I wanted an actual flashback of a super intense fight or conversation instead of an overview of what happened.
plot. It took a while to get to the actual plot. About 100 pages in before things start really happening. I would’ve liked a little more exposition on Marlow’s relationship with Caliban at the beginning of the book. I get that some of the reveals needed to come more towards the end, but I kind of wish that maybe the fox had spoken to Marlow, too, which would’ve helped with why she’s so sure she’s insane. Foxes don’t talk! In all honesty, I wish this story had been restructured entirely. I think it would've been substantially better if we'd started out in Marlow's childhood. We can see how her day to day life was before Caliban ever appeared, how things were with her mom, who can also see through the veil. Maybe she notices some strange things about her mom that she just brushes off, which she later sees in herself and understands why her mom responded that way. Then something actually traumatic happens instead of some little kids not letting Marlow play with them, instigating her starting to see Caliban. I also would've liked to see flashbacks to Marlow's previous lives. While she's busy trying to convince herself Caliban isn't real, those flashbacks would add to her thinking she's losing her grip on reality. Maybe she'll be doing something innocent, like washing the dishes, and then suddenly, she sees herself standing in the middle of a raging battle, wearing long, elaborate robes. Do you see what I'm saying? This could've been cool! Instead, I had to read about Marlow jerking off about herself for 600 pages.
At some point, Caliban shows up to Marlow looking like a human. She's a teenager at this point, but they eventually start sleeping together, and like...idk something about that feels icky to me. It feels like grooming. Because he's clearly thousands of years old, he probably stays the same age while she's a teenager. What age did he wait for her to turn before their relationship turned sexual? Also, she doesn't even think he's real, and he does nothing to convince her that he is. Yeah....just no thanks. I'm good. Marlow tells Caliban when she's 21, she doesn’t want to see him anymore, so she literally physically cannot see him, but she can hear and feel him, and he still shows up, and like they keep having sex. So she’s just having sex with her imaginary demon friend for like five years before she’s finally like, all right, this is weird; maybe we should stop. And then she immediately regrets that when he stops showing up and then the rest of the book finally happens.
We also get flashbacks to when Marlow first starts escorting, and tbh, I hated this depiction of sex work. I keep hoping since Piper claims to be an advocate for sex work and is a former SWer that, we might get some actual depth to this plot. Maybe learn how Marlow was able to mold herself into the person she needed to be for each client, how she’s able to play people, etc. But no. She meets some random girl in a foreign country where she’s teaching English to children, and the girl is like, OMG, you’re too pretty to BE A TEACHER. COME HANG OUT ON MY YACHT. Now, I’m going to be so real. I feel like any woman with a speck of intelligence in their brain would have red flags going off right about now. If a random woman I met in a foreign country invited me to her yacht five minutes after meeting me, I’d immediately assume this woman was about to try and murder me or kidnap me or traffick me or something. But not Marlow. She is like fuck it, why not. She flies on over to wherever this yacht is(literally, she has to get on a plane and fly there) and makes some new besties who introduce her to the wonderfully glamorous non-dangerous life of escorting, where they hand her clients and set up the appointments for her and blah blah blah(also, wanna point out that Marlow even tries to say that she built this sex work empire herself. bitch no you didn't. it was all handed to you). I don’t feel like I really need to go further about why this is a really poor, dangerous rose-colored glasses-type depiction of sex work. It’s just not the reality.
Flash forward five years later, and Marlow is now a top-selling author writing about South African folklore as a white woman, trying to date other men, still having sex with her imaginary friend, calling her nonbinary friend a horse girl, the usual. Her escort pals are nowhere to be seen, and we have no clue what happened to them. We never hear from them again; they just vanish once Marlow gets what she wants from them, just like Nia and Kirby vanish once Marlow finds Fauna and Azrames. One day, Marlow’s at a book signing and sees the ONE bad client she had(because in all the years/months fucking strange men you meet in a foreign country, only one time does it go bad. okay, sure) He somehow finds where she lives, breaks into her home, and tries to murder her. An angel shows up and murders him instead, and then Caliban finally reveals his face and explains to Marlow that he has marked everyone who’s ever wronged her. (Wronged her in what way, tho. Like if someone accidentally shoulder-checked her on the street, are they now marked for death?) I thought it was kind of weird that she’s not like…focused on the fact that her hallucinations have extended to two people and another person dying. She’s still convinced Caliban is a figment of her imagination even after she sees this happen, and Caliban explains to her that he couldn’t save her because there’s some type of contract with her that forbids him from doing anything under her roof without her permission. But she still gets mad and banishes him, and now he can’t come back, and now she’s like, but wait, no, I didn’t mean it. Thus begins the search for Caliban.
Now, I could sit here and outline the rest of the book, but I won't because it's so boring, and nothing of substance really happens. So, to summarize. Marlow searches for Caliban fruitlessly for months and finally makes some progress when she decides to go to the house of the guy who tried to kill her and finds a parasitic entity that she continuously calls a Cheshire Cat. then Silas, the angel, shows up to save her again. Silas maybe wants to fuck Marlow, I can't tell. He waffles between abandoning Marlow to die and stalking her and her mom to force Marlow to bond with him for no seeming reason at all. Everyone and their mom wants Marlow to join their religion, and I don't know what the fuck makes her so special. Marlow is such a popular author that everyone recognizes her name, reveres her, fawns over her, and has multiple copies of her two books in their offices. She's so good that she inspired millions to switch religions. This book was so exhausting to read because it was just about how amazing Marlow is LMFAO. I'm pretty sure they even try to say she's the reincarnation of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world. Like....wow.
Marlow goes to Hell with Fauna to escape bonding with Silas, where they meet a literal stolen character design. this guy
(my original review has these images but I am an idiot and don't know how to post them so instead I'll share the links)
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860981i/35597445._SY540_.jpg
Don't believe me? here's the commissioned character art.
https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1717860929i/35597423._SY540_.jpg
Anyway, his name is Azrames and he and Fauna are long time lovers and they go and bone while Marlow is in the next room and Marlow fucking masturbates to the sounds of them boning. So...I was forced to read about that, and I hated it. And then, at the end of the book, five chapters before it's over, we learn the bad guy who's been holding Caliban captive the entire time is a fertility goddess. Just out of nowhere. No mention of it previously. So, no one tells Marlow the actual plan, and instead, they send her into this fertility clinic the goddess is working out of and have her pretend to want to get pregnant. So the goddess drugs her without her consent and puts her in a room full of half-naked men, hot stereotypes from every ethnicity, while she's SUPER horny. One of the doctors tells her that 'mixed babies are all the rage right now'. The men all tell her how hot and amazing she is and how lucky they are for the chance to get to fuck her. Then after she chooses one of them, she grinds all over him while he just stands there, then they take him out and bring Caliban in and decide he'll fuck her instead. I just wanna point out that this, all of this, would be rape. Marlow didn't consent to being drugged, and if she didn't know who Caliban was, they basically just took the guy she "agreed" to have sex with away and brought in one she didn't agree to for no reason whatsoever. It doesn't matter that she's saying yes to it; she is drugged. She can't consent. Anyway, Caliban sticks his dick in Marlow and just leaves it there, unmoving, and then makes out with the fertility goddess before stabbing her in the heart and cutting off her head, even though five chapters earlier, they said it's super hard to kill a god. I'm just...wow.
Marlow gets taken back to Fauna's apartment by Silas while Caliban and Azrames are stuck fighting more Cheshire Cat demon children that I imagine look like the spider baby from Toy Story. Marlow is still high, so she's putting the moves on Fauna. She's kissing her throat, rubbing her thigh, trying to suck on her fingers. Let me tell you rn, if one of my friends showed up at my place high af doing this shit to me, I'd be livid. Because I guarantee you, Marlow will not apologize for doing any of this to Fauna.
Fauna tells Marlow that they can be sunflowers. The book ends.
I will read the next one because I like to suffer, but...I hated this. I give it 2 stars because the writing is better than TNAIM, but it was not a hit for me at all.
2024.06.09 15:06 ThrowRA49t Is my boyfriend being unfair? 19M 18M
I’m 19M (trans) and my boyfriend is 18M (also trans). We’ve been together for over a year, about 15 months total. I’m always wanting to spend time with him, constantly inviting him over and inviting him out pretty much every other day. I’ve noticed for pretty much the entire relationship that he’s not nearly as interested in spending time with me as I am with him, but I try not to let it bother me. Today, he’s shown another instance of a repeated behaviour that I really don’t like but I don’t know what to do about. I’m not even sure if I’m right to be upset, hence the post.
Yesterday, we made plans to meet up, me to go to his house at 3. He told me to call him to wake him up if he wasn’t up at 1:30, because he needed to clean up before I arrived. I did that, and when he answered, he pretty much immediately said he didn’t want me to come over anymore. I was sad, so I asked why, and he just kept saying ‘because I don’t want to anymore’. Now, he does this constantly; that being make plans with me, I get excited and look forward to it, then he cancels on the day because he can’t be bothered getting out of bed. He rarely tells me the actual reason why. If something had happened, like an event had come up or he wasn’t feeling well or even he was just feeling nonverbal (he’s autistic so that happens sometimes), I’d be disappointed but not upset like I am now. I just really don’t like it when he cancels plans on the day just because he can’t be bothered. It’s hurtful, and makes me feel like I’m not worth the effort. In my case, I’ll always want to be with him, even if I’m unwell or feeling down, because I love him and I always want him around. I just feel like that isn’t the case with him.
Anyway, I rarely criticise him, but I just got so hurt that I ended up saying ‘I don’t think this is fair’. He just said ‘ok.’ And it was quiet for a bit. Then, he said ‘and so what’s the fair option? You coming here when I don’t want you to?’ I didn’t know how to respond to that. I just ended up apologising, and he put the phone down. I don’t know what to do. I hate this behaviour and it causes me frequent distress and frustration, but I don’t know if I’m right to feel that way. Should I just accept he doesn’t want to see me? Or am I right I feel hurt? And if I am, how do I gently bring it up to him?
submitted by ThrowRA49t to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Yesterday, we made plans to meet up, me to go to his house at 3. He told me to call him to wake him up if he wasn’t up at 1:30, because he needed to clean up before I arrived. I did that, and when he answered, he pretty much immediately said he didn’t want me to come over anymore. I was sad, so I asked why, and he just kept saying ‘because I don’t want to anymore’. Now, he does this constantly; that being make plans with me, I get excited and look forward to it, then he cancels on the day because he can’t be bothered getting out of bed. He rarely tells me the actual reason why. If something had happened, like an event had come up or he wasn’t feeling well or even he was just feeling nonverbal (he’s autistic so that happens sometimes), I’d be disappointed but not upset like I am now. I just really don’t like it when he cancels plans on the day just because he can’t be bothered. It’s hurtful, and makes me feel like I’m not worth the effort. In my case, I’ll always want to be with him, even if I’m unwell or feeling down, because I love him and I always want him around. I just feel like that isn’t the case with him.
Anyway, I rarely criticise him, but I just got so hurt that I ended up saying ‘I don’t think this is fair’. He just said ‘ok.’ And it was quiet for a bit. Then, he said ‘and so what’s the fair option? You coming here when I don’t want you to?’ I didn’t know how to respond to that. I just ended up apologising, and he put the phone down. I don’t know what to do. I hate this behaviour and it causes me frequent distress and frustration, but I don’t know if I’m right to feel that way. Should I just accept he doesn’t want to see me? Or am I right I feel hurt? And if I am, how do I gently bring it up to him?
2024.06.09 15:05 Acceptable_Rock_8521 WIBTA? my bf wont stop watching hentai
my boyfriend wont stop watching hentai
Im not really sure where to start with this. I guess I should start by saying two things: 1. Before this point we had never had a serious talking about porn, but both of us have high sex drives and have said that we can always say something if we need a bit of help lol. + 2. My boyfriend and I are extremely open with each other and at the beginning of our relationship agreed that neither of us had anything to hide and were both okay with going through each others phones. I know this isn’t for everyone, but still, after over a year of dating in our LDR, its what we decided made us BOTH comfortable.
A while back, I did just this and found a secret twitter account he must’ve forgotten to log out of. It was FILLED with hentai of all kinds. Including from the games we play together daily. It took me a while, but when i finally mustered up the courage to say something— he said he hadn’t looked at it in a very long time and promised he would delete the account as I said it made me kind of uncomfortable. He didn’t try to fight or argue at all, not even defend himself. I thought that made sense had he really not been using it.
Fast forward a few months to when we see each other again… I see the hentai again. Same account only he had now changed the user. I looked a bit more than last time and found likes/saves and even posts of his own from the last few months meaning it was obviously still in use. Honestly at this point, I’m not sure if I’m more uncomfortable about the actual hentai itself or about the lying. In this same look I saw that he had reddit this time too and I saw the snapchat sub in there and I know from youtube videos what that can be used for.
This was a bit less than a month ago and I haven’t said anything about what I saw out of fear of confrontation. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting and thats why he didn’t tell me the truth, but either way it still makes me extremely uncomfortable ESPECIALLY because now when we play those games— its all I can think about. I guess this is kind of a crossover between AITA and pls help I need advice BAD.
How would you guys feel/react?
edit: Okay… just one more thing— he is usually the one in our relationship to push me to be more open about things because I have a hard time expressing myself. He absolutely hates lying (as do most people) and prides himself on always telling me the truth. What he did here was the opposite… only adding to my confusion
submitted by Acceptable_Rock_8521 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Im not really sure where to start with this. I guess I should start by saying two things: 1. Before this point we had never had a serious talking about porn, but both of us have high sex drives and have said that we can always say something if we need a bit of help lol. + 2. My boyfriend and I are extremely open with each other and at the beginning of our relationship agreed that neither of us had anything to hide and were both okay with going through each others phones. I know this isn’t for everyone, but still, after over a year of dating in our LDR, its what we decided made us BOTH comfortable.
A while back, I did just this and found a secret twitter account he must’ve forgotten to log out of. It was FILLED with hentai of all kinds. Including from the games we play together daily. It took me a while, but when i finally mustered up the courage to say something— he said he hadn’t looked at it in a very long time and promised he would delete the account as I said it made me kind of uncomfortable. He didn’t try to fight or argue at all, not even defend himself. I thought that made sense had he really not been using it.
Fast forward a few months to when we see each other again… I see the hentai again. Same account only he had now changed the user. I looked a bit more than last time and found likes/saves and even posts of his own from the last few months meaning it was obviously still in use. Honestly at this point, I’m not sure if I’m more uncomfortable about the actual hentai itself or about the lying. In this same look I saw that he had reddit this time too and I saw the snapchat sub in there and I know from youtube videos what that can be used for.
This was a bit less than a month ago and I haven’t said anything about what I saw out of fear of confrontation. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting and thats why he didn’t tell me the truth, but either way it still makes me extremely uncomfortable ESPECIALLY because now when we play those games— its all I can think about. I guess this is kind of a crossover between AITA and pls help I need advice BAD.
How would you guys feel/react?
edit: Okay… just one more thing— he is usually the one in our relationship to push me to be more open about things because I have a hard time expressing myself. He absolutely hates lying (as do most people) and prides himself on always telling me the truth. What he did here was the opposite… only adding to my confusion
2024.06.09 14:54 Bushsplitter68 My wife wants a child with another guy, what do?
Ive been out of the military for 2 years. Im 100% disabled veteran. My wife has ChampVA. Before you come at her, we lost our son just weeks after i got out of the military. She has always wanted to be a mom, and i support that. However, i cant get behind her and be a cuck. Obviously, there is a lot of other stuff and we arent compatible, etc.
Ive moved to oklahoma, and as soon as i moved in, she re-upped her year contract in virginia, got a boyfriend (a 22 year old unemployed mexican that cant speak english... i dont know???), and said she wants a divorce so she can have a chance at another child. As far as i know, they are already sleeping together. Sleep Number beds track sleep patterns and my side of the bed has been slept in recently.
If she gets pregnant, before divorce is finalized (i cant file for 6 months in the state of oklahoma since i just became a new resident), so its on her to file or not get pregnant for 6 months, which she is an idiot, so i dont see that not happening. If she gets pregnant, and i dna test to move forward in divorce, and its not my child, do i owe back any prenatal care ChampVA has paid out? Is there anything that would come back on me? Im kinda just covering my bases so her infidelity doesnt end up costing me thousands.
Thanks. This is a total fucked up situation, but the last couple years of grief... its been fucked up. Im 100% done, divorce, no reconciliation, we are both on board to divorce, amicable.
Cross posted to Veterans.
submitted by Bushsplitter68 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]
Ive moved to oklahoma, and as soon as i moved in, she re-upped her year contract in virginia, got a boyfriend (a 22 year old unemployed mexican that cant speak english... i dont know???), and said she wants a divorce so she can have a chance at another child. As far as i know, they are already sleeping together. Sleep Number beds track sleep patterns and my side of the bed has been slept in recently.
If she gets pregnant, before divorce is finalized (i cant file for 6 months in the state of oklahoma since i just became a new resident), so its on her to file or not get pregnant for 6 months, which she is an idiot, so i dont see that not happening. If she gets pregnant, and i dna test to move forward in divorce, and its not my child, do i owe back any prenatal care ChampVA has paid out? Is there anything that would come back on me? Im kinda just covering my bases so her infidelity doesnt end up costing me thousands.
Thanks. This is a total fucked up situation, but the last couple years of grief... its been fucked up. Im 100% done, divorce, no reconciliation, we are both on board to divorce, amicable.
Cross posted to Veterans.
2024.06.09 14:52 Fine-Masterpiece-570 Am I delusional
Hi guys I'd like to start off by saying I'm leaving a lot of important details and parts out because I'm typing this on my phone and lowkey too lazy to explain everything in depth but obviously if you guys need a better explanation I'm always open to replying. Also this story might sound confusing so if there's any questions feel free to ask. Grammar also prob bad because I'm writing this at 4 am in the morning.
People in the story: I'm F, 18 Claire F, 19 Nina F, 18 Tiffany F, 19 Nina's boyfriend M, 18
Okay firstly, I'd like to start off with how we met.
(To be honest she is chronically on reddit too so she might or might not stumble across this post, but since meeting and getting to know her I've come to a shocking discovery that she doesnt really date people which makes me more attracted to her oddly enough)
For the sake of identity and anonymity I will be calling her Claire.
I met Claire through a friend who just happens to also be her bestfriend. We'll call her Nina. We're all first years in college and I met Nina through instagram lol. The lore of that goes deeper but to summarize it, over the summer before school started, a class page for incoming freshman was created so that people could connect, and find roomies. I saw that page as an opportunity to find potential friends that could match my interests. I stumbled across Nina's post and instantly knew I wanted to be her friend. Not in a weird, psycho, stalker way but I thought she was really pretty and her hobbies and interests were similar to mine. Summers passing and I have yet to reach out to her or messaged her, but we followed each other on instagram. That's when I saw Claire in her posts and stories, and Claire really caught me attention. She very beautifully, and her smile is very contagious. She has that natural beauty 'pretty' that just makes her so attractive. At first I didn't really think much of it because school hadn't started and I'm just tryna to enjoy my last summer before officially heading to college.
College rolls around and I finally move into my dorm, the first few weeks were light and I really enjoyed every orientation event. Weeks gone by and I still have never talked to Nina. I've made some friends along the way so I completely forgot about her. But during week 2 or 3 into the term I finally see her for the first time in real life, and next to her was Claire. At first I was too scared to approach them and say anything because they were walking in this big group of people heading into a resident hall. Me being oblivious and nosy, I go onto instagram and finally sent a message to Nina. The DMs were just like "omg I think I just saw you etc etc"
We finally get to talking on DMs but eventually the convo died after like 3 days. So I'm like damn, I don't know if this girl even wants to be friends with me. So I move on with my day. College is the time to go out and make connections too so I was heavily involved in clubs and events. I went to my very first club meeting around October, and standing in the center of the room I see Claire. Now at this point, Claire doesn't even know who I am or that I know Nina, but for some reason I felt like I know Claire. Again, I was too scared to approach her so I ended up leaving the meeting after it ended.
This all happened in fall term, so eventually I just forgot about both Claire and Nina. That was until winter term started, and I was enrolled in this one class. Coincidentally Nina was also in this class and that's how we officially met. (Final fucking ly) We ended up having the same hobbies, interested, etc. creepily we also share the same birthday and our best friends (Claire and my best friend we'll call her Tiffany) also share the same birthdays etc. Till this day we all think it's such weird coincidence but we jokingly call it an invisible string or whatever that theory is.
Back to the story, eventually we all become close around the end of winter term going into spring term (current term right now). Before, me and Claire would never hang out one on one, it always involved or included our other friend Nina and sometimes her boyfriend. And usually our hangouts consists of eating out, sports, studying, or video games. But lately, we've been doing more stuff together one on one and I seem to enjoy it a lot. We recently picked up a hobby of running. And we actually have a lot in common. My interests align more with Claire than with Nina and it's been obvious as the group is always on us for being so alike. Anywho, overtime i had developed a crush on Claire but it's not in a way where I'd date her it's more of an admiration way because I don't really date people and I kind of think relationships are gross lol which defeats the whole purpose of a crush or liking someone, but i genuinely like this girl but I can't seem to point a finger at why I'm feeling this way when I don't even like dating. To my surprise she is the same. From what Nina and her bf told me Claire isn't really about the dating life either. Anyways the story is probably getting confusing and you guys are like wtf, so idk this post might be a flop. Anyways, when me, Claire, Nina, and her boyfriend would hang out as a group Nina and her boyfriend would always tease us and say something about how I want to be like Claire or how Claire wants to be like me and they would bring up stuff like "you guys should just date each other since you guys want to be each other" and everytime I would deny and be like ew gross don't say that but deep down I high key liked the tease. At the same time I've never personally asked Claire or heard Claire come out hinting at her sexuality but Nina would say somethings and Claire would just sit there and laugh it off or agree. To be honest I'm scared to even ask Claire myself so I don't know. Anywho I've talk to my bsf tiffany about this and my bsf says Claire def give off gay, and me not wanting to assume I just brush it off and try not to assume or anything. So, now that me and Claire are starting to hang out on our own I feel like we've definitely got comfortable with each other. I would also like to add that we both hate physical touch but lately it just happens randomly where we would compare hand sizes and pay hand games like chopsticks or whatever it's called. I might be overthinking it and delusional but who knows. One night me and Claire go for a late night run and we stop to take a break in front of our schools memorial building. This building had a flight of stairs which lead to the front entrance so we walked up to find it locked so as we were walking down I missed a step and fell but not really, I lowkey hurted my ankle but that didn't stop us from finishing our run. When we finally made it back to our start point I went to sit on the field where I could lay down for a bit and just stretch my foot. Claire came beside me and we just listened to music together. She kept asking if I was okay and I reassured her but I could tell she was lowkey worried. Fast forward to the next day we go out to eat with Nina, her boyfriend, and in the car I was seated next to Claire and just the thought of her arm touching mine made me feel so at peace and comforting. After dinner we went back to my dorm and we all as a group took edibles and made slime high. At the end of our slime session I felt really tired but I wanted to stay awake to talk to them because we were having a convo about relationships and somehow the topic directed towards me was what is my type. I start yapping about how I don't really have a type blah blah and then Nina's boyfriend mention something about me liking white guys, and when that came out Claire's eyes widen and went "you like white guys like Tiffany too" (cause I once mentioned how my bsf tiffany is a Oxford study victim) and yeah so Claire got real questionable and started asking about me and my type and what my lore was. And about my relationships. And that's when I said I like people who are smarter than me (I did this on purpose because I know that Claire is extremely smart) so after I said that Nina's boyfriend was quick to his feet and said something along the lines of "wait Claire is literally smarter than you why don't you guys just date instead" and that's when I blurted out ew no that's weird. And all I saw Claire do was turn to me and stare directly at me. Almost like she was waiting for me to agree or say soemthing to reinforce that. Minutes go by and the convo kind of became awkward but we were still talking about relationships and what not. And everytime I swear when someone says something Claire would look at me first and wait for me to answer before she answers and that's just something that I noticed. Anyways I'm yapping just to yap right now I will end it here if you guys have questions or want a more in depth explanation just reply to this post. Surely I'm missing A LOT of details.
But yeah what do you guys think am I being delusional and weird, am I overthinking, or this girl might be interested in me
I forgot to mention, we recently started following each other on Spotify and one day after a lecture me and Claire both had she made me get this app called Airbuds where you can see what your friends are listening to etc. I didn't really know how to work the app but this one morning I woke up and opened the app I saw her recent listening activity and it was all songs from my playlist so i took a ss and sent it to her asking why she was listening to Taylor Swift LOLL cuz she doesn't listen to Taylor Swift and she said it's because she was stalking my playlists. And then the other night when we went running I told her to start a jam because she's always making me start one and as she opened up her Spotify I kid yall not I see my playlists in her recent listening activity and I was like shocked. Anywho she tried brushing it off saying it's because that's the playlist we normally listen to on our runs but that's not true because I don't play off those playlists when we run so it's kinda sus🫣. But yeah that's the end of the story I go sleep now.
submitted by Fine-Masterpiece-570 to Crushes [link] [comments]
People in the story: I'm F, 18 Claire F, 19 Nina F, 18 Tiffany F, 19 Nina's boyfriend M, 18
Okay firstly, I'd like to start off with how we met.
(To be honest she is chronically on reddit too so she might or might not stumble across this post, but since meeting and getting to know her I've come to a shocking discovery that she doesnt really date people which makes me more attracted to her oddly enough)
For the sake of identity and anonymity I will be calling her Claire.
I met Claire through a friend who just happens to also be her bestfriend. We'll call her Nina. We're all first years in college and I met Nina through instagram lol. The lore of that goes deeper but to summarize it, over the summer before school started, a class page for incoming freshman was created so that people could connect, and find roomies. I saw that page as an opportunity to find potential friends that could match my interests. I stumbled across Nina's post and instantly knew I wanted to be her friend. Not in a weird, psycho, stalker way but I thought she was really pretty and her hobbies and interests were similar to mine. Summers passing and I have yet to reach out to her or messaged her, but we followed each other on instagram. That's when I saw Claire in her posts and stories, and Claire really caught me attention. She very beautifully, and her smile is very contagious. She has that natural beauty 'pretty' that just makes her so attractive. At first I didn't really think much of it because school hadn't started and I'm just tryna to enjoy my last summer before officially heading to college.
College rolls around and I finally move into my dorm, the first few weeks were light and I really enjoyed every orientation event. Weeks gone by and I still have never talked to Nina. I've made some friends along the way so I completely forgot about her. But during week 2 or 3 into the term I finally see her for the first time in real life, and next to her was Claire. At first I was too scared to approach them and say anything because they were walking in this big group of people heading into a resident hall. Me being oblivious and nosy, I go onto instagram and finally sent a message to Nina. The DMs were just like "omg I think I just saw you etc etc"
We finally get to talking on DMs but eventually the convo died after like 3 days. So I'm like damn, I don't know if this girl even wants to be friends with me. So I move on with my day. College is the time to go out and make connections too so I was heavily involved in clubs and events. I went to my very first club meeting around October, and standing in the center of the room I see Claire. Now at this point, Claire doesn't even know who I am or that I know Nina, but for some reason I felt like I know Claire. Again, I was too scared to approach her so I ended up leaving the meeting after it ended.
This all happened in fall term, so eventually I just forgot about both Claire and Nina. That was until winter term started, and I was enrolled in this one class. Coincidentally Nina was also in this class and that's how we officially met. (Final fucking ly) We ended up having the same hobbies, interested, etc. creepily we also share the same birthday and our best friends (Claire and my best friend we'll call her Tiffany) also share the same birthdays etc. Till this day we all think it's such weird coincidence but we jokingly call it an invisible string or whatever that theory is.
Back to the story, eventually we all become close around the end of winter term going into spring term (current term right now). Before, me and Claire would never hang out one on one, it always involved or included our other friend Nina and sometimes her boyfriend. And usually our hangouts consists of eating out, sports, studying, or video games. But lately, we've been doing more stuff together one on one and I seem to enjoy it a lot. We recently picked up a hobby of running. And we actually have a lot in common. My interests align more with Claire than with Nina and it's been obvious as the group is always on us for being so alike. Anywho, overtime i had developed a crush on Claire but it's not in a way where I'd date her it's more of an admiration way because I don't really date people and I kind of think relationships are gross lol which defeats the whole purpose of a crush or liking someone, but i genuinely like this girl but I can't seem to point a finger at why I'm feeling this way when I don't even like dating. To my surprise she is the same. From what Nina and her bf told me Claire isn't really about the dating life either. Anyways the story is probably getting confusing and you guys are like wtf, so idk this post might be a flop. Anyways, when me, Claire, Nina, and her boyfriend would hang out as a group Nina and her boyfriend would always tease us and say something about how I want to be like Claire or how Claire wants to be like me and they would bring up stuff like "you guys should just date each other since you guys want to be each other" and everytime I would deny and be like ew gross don't say that but deep down I high key liked the tease. At the same time I've never personally asked Claire or heard Claire come out hinting at her sexuality but Nina would say somethings and Claire would just sit there and laugh it off or agree. To be honest I'm scared to even ask Claire myself so I don't know. Anywho I've talk to my bsf tiffany about this and my bsf says Claire def give off gay, and me not wanting to assume I just brush it off and try not to assume or anything. So, now that me and Claire are starting to hang out on our own I feel like we've definitely got comfortable with each other. I would also like to add that we both hate physical touch but lately it just happens randomly where we would compare hand sizes and pay hand games like chopsticks or whatever it's called. I might be overthinking it and delusional but who knows. One night me and Claire go for a late night run and we stop to take a break in front of our schools memorial building. This building had a flight of stairs which lead to the front entrance so we walked up to find it locked so as we were walking down I missed a step and fell but not really, I lowkey hurted my ankle but that didn't stop us from finishing our run. When we finally made it back to our start point I went to sit on the field where I could lay down for a bit and just stretch my foot. Claire came beside me and we just listened to music together. She kept asking if I was okay and I reassured her but I could tell she was lowkey worried. Fast forward to the next day we go out to eat with Nina, her boyfriend, and in the car I was seated next to Claire and just the thought of her arm touching mine made me feel so at peace and comforting. After dinner we went back to my dorm and we all as a group took edibles and made slime high. At the end of our slime session I felt really tired but I wanted to stay awake to talk to them because we were having a convo about relationships and somehow the topic directed towards me was what is my type. I start yapping about how I don't really have a type blah blah and then Nina's boyfriend mention something about me liking white guys, and when that came out Claire's eyes widen and went "you like white guys like Tiffany too" (cause I once mentioned how my bsf tiffany is a Oxford study victim) and yeah so Claire got real questionable and started asking about me and my type and what my lore was. And about my relationships. And that's when I said I like people who are smarter than me (I did this on purpose because I know that Claire is extremely smart) so after I said that Nina's boyfriend was quick to his feet and said something along the lines of "wait Claire is literally smarter than you why don't you guys just date instead" and that's when I blurted out ew no that's weird. And all I saw Claire do was turn to me and stare directly at me. Almost like she was waiting for me to agree or say soemthing to reinforce that. Minutes go by and the convo kind of became awkward but we were still talking about relationships and what not. And everytime I swear when someone says something Claire would look at me first and wait for me to answer before she answers and that's just something that I noticed. Anyways I'm yapping just to yap right now I will end it here if you guys have questions or want a more in depth explanation just reply to this post. Surely I'm missing A LOT of details.
But yeah what do you guys think am I being delusional and weird, am I overthinking, or this girl might be interested in me
I forgot to mention, we recently started following each other on Spotify and one day after a lecture me and Claire both had she made me get this app called Airbuds where you can see what your friends are listening to etc. I didn't really know how to work the app but this one morning I woke up and opened the app I saw her recent listening activity and it was all songs from my playlist so i took a ss and sent it to her asking why she was listening to Taylor Swift LOLL cuz she doesn't listen to Taylor Swift and she said it's because she was stalking my playlists. And then the other night when we went running I told her to start a jam because she's always making me start one and as she opened up her Spotify I kid yall not I see my playlists in her recent listening activity and I was like shocked. Anywho she tried brushing it off saying it's because that's the playlist we normally listen to on our runs but that's not true because I don't play off those playlists when we run so it's kinda sus🫣. But yeah that's the end of the story I go sleep now.
2024.06.09 14:48 Bushsplitter68 My wife wants a child with another man, we're divorcing, what now?
Ive been out of the military for 2 years. Im 100% disabled veteran. My wife has ChampVA. Before you come at her, we lost our son just weeks after i got out of the military. She has always wanted to be a mom, and i support that. However, i cant get behind her and be a cuck. Obviously, there is a lot of other stuff and we arent compatible, etc.
Ive moved to oklahoma, and as soon as i moved in, she re-upped her year contract in virginia, got a boyfriend (a 22 year old unemployed mexican that cant speak english... i dont know???), and said she wants a divorce so she can have a chance at another child. As far as i know, they are already sleeping together. Sleep Number beds track sleep patterns and my side of the bed has been slept in recently.
If she gets pregnant, before divorce is finalized (i cant file for 6 months in the state of oklahoma since i just became a new resident), so its on her to file or not get pregnant for 6 months, which she is an idiot, so i dont see that not happening. If she gets pregnant, and i dna test to move forward in divorce, and its not my child, do i owe back any prenatal care ChampVA has paid out? Is there anything that would come back on me? Im kinda just covering my bases so her infidelity doesnt end up costing me thousands.
Thanks. This is a total fucked up situation, but the last couple years of grief... its been fucked up.
submitted by Bushsplitter68 to Veterans [link] [comments]
Ive moved to oklahoma, and as soon as i moved in, she re-upped her year contract in virginia, got a boyfriend (a 22 year old unemployed mexican that cant speak english... i dont know???), and said she wants a divorce so she can have a chance at another child. As far as i know, they are already sleeping together. Sleep Number beds track sleep patterns and my side of the bed has been slept in recently.
If she gets pregnant, before divorce is finalized (i cant file for 6 months in the state of oklahoma since i just became a new resident), so its on her to file or not get pregnant for 6 months, which she is an idiot, so i dont see that not happening. If she gets pregnant, and i dna test to move forward in divorce, and its not my child, do i owe back any prenatal care ChampVA has paid out? Is there anything that would come back on me? Im kinda just covering my bases so her infidelity doesnt end up costing me thousands.
Thanks. This is a total fucked up situation, but the last couple years of grief... its been fucked up.
2024.06.09 14:46 OilPsychological1080 What to do about my wife '43F' of 7 years who has changed so much im a '32M'?
I have been with my wife for 8 years now we recently had our 7 year wedding anniversary. In the beginning of our marriage and relationship things were amazing. My wife has been married twice before me and has kids with both previous husbands. I have also been married twice before her me mostly being young and dumb and trying to rush life, I have never had children with either of my previous wives. After we were married we decided to have children which I expressed to her I never intended on having children with someone I didn't plan to be with forever. I did not want my children apart of a broken home. Fast forward 6 years, I confronted my wife on the suspicion that she had possibly slept with one of my best friends before her and I ever knew each other this was a friend that we regularly were around and hung with. She assured me several times that she had never slept with him or done anything to him. Well not long after that I over hear my wife drunkingly talking to one of her friends telling her friend that she did sleep with him but didn't want me to find out. I know no one here knows me so I'll start off by saying we all have a past and that's fine I just ask not to be lied to and give and recieve complete honesty. I don't think anyone wants to be hanging out on a regular basis with there spouse hanging around someone they have slept with . I didn't call her out in it immediately but it ate away at me for weeks why would you lie about that I asked myself? Looking me straight in my eyes and lied over and over. A month or so goes by and my wife is drunk and I bring it up to her, once again she denies it but I told her i overheard her telling her friend so I know she's lying. Now I'm not the type of male who is very jealous and I definitely don't play the going through your phone game because I'm committed and I give my wife my trust. Well I when I confronted her on this issue I called her out on some other shady behavior, she was going through one of her photo apps and there was a video of her ex boyfriend masturbating. Clearly by this point I am infuriated. She swears she didn't know it was on there and she thought it was deleted. We are in a public parking lot inside the car when all this goes down she freaks out and jumps out of the car, I beg and plead for her to get back in the car as this is my children's mother and I would never do anything to publicly embarrass her. Well she ends up drawing a lot of attention to herself and gets arrested since she is drunk and not calming down and refuses to get back in the car with me so I can take her home. Fast forward about 3 months. My wife and I had been out to eat and on our way home got into a arguement. Once we arrived home she asked me "doing you like living here"? Which I thought was odd but I replied yes why wouldn't I? We finally have a nice house sitting on a farm with beautiful views it's everything Iv always wanted, she replied with "ok". She said she was going to go for a walk to clear her head and I said ok I was going to use the bathroom. I got out of the bathroom and I couldn't quit thinking why would she ask such a question she knows I love living here. I went to her car because there's a pistol in to glove box and I'm trying to cross the worst scenarios out of my head. The glove box was locked as it usually is and she took her car key with her. I ran inside and got the spare and went back to the car and unlocked the glove box and the pistol is missing. I immediately track her location and see she is in a near field. I jump in my truck and go to where she is at I find her sitting by A brush pile listening sad music with the gun in her lap. I am able to get the gun from her then she takes off running through the field towards our house. At this point it is like my wife has had a complete mental break down and idk what to do I start calling her mom and dad they don't answer I call her daughter who is in the military and In a different state freaking out telling her everything that's happening. My wife makes it home gets in her car and leaves and doesn't come back for hours I can't track her because she left her phone in the field where I found her. By this point I have gotten ahold of her mom and dad no one knows what to do. So we all come together once my wife arrives back home and tell her what ever is going on we want her to get help with it's therapy or medicine we don't care we are here for here and support whatever we have to do. Time goes by and things are starting to get normal again after my wife refuses to take medicine or do anything for help. We did start marriage counseling we had scheduled 4 meetings to start with the first meeting we did as a couple the second meeting I did by myself and the third meeting was supposed to be my wife alone and on the 4th meeting it would be us as a couple again. Well when it came time for my wife to do her meeting she kept rescheduling over and over and I finally called her out on why she wasn't taking this serious. She said she was but she just had this or that going on etc all I heard was excuses. Now since you don't know my wife she is a very successful female that makes great money and is in amazing shape and literally had the perfect body even after kids, you would never even known she's had a kid and built very desirable. I am 6' 2" and I go to the gym 5-6 times a week I have never cheated in any way form or fashion on my wife or done anything morally or ethically wrong towards our marriage I have always loved my wife and thought she was perfect. After these events started happening I started to question a lot of things and I found out my wife is as truthful as I thought she was. I don't believe my wife has ever cheated on me but she does seem to tell a lot of small lies or just flat out lies in general. My wife has in the last few years became psychotically jealous I'm not even allowed to eat with female coworkers and if I do I have to notify her and tell her where they are sitting in relation to where I'm sitting and what if anything they say to me. I have to tell her every time a female calls or text me etc. I do not have any social media but my wife has almost all of them and I don't care but I would like to point out she has male friends on her social media both married and single but I'm not allowed to be friendly or joke or anything even with the people I work with and my wife knows all of them but at the same time my wife also works in a coed environment and I don't limit her on anything she does nor do I ask or care because I love her and trust her. She has recently gotten mad that she shares her location with me but I don't share mine with her, I never asked her to share hers with me she just randomly did one day but since I don't do anything wrong and have nothing to hide I started sharing mine as well. Well that became a problem while we're both at work I would be question about why have I been at a particular location for 10 min or why have I been here or there etc and that got really old really quick. A few months go by and my wife starts a physical altercation with me I have never in my life hit a woman nor did I that night but I did keep pushing her off of me as I tried gathering my stuff for work so I could leave and go somewhere else. Long story short the police showed up I didn't have a shirt on and was covered in scratch and bite marks. Luckily I was able to leave and no one would go to jail, both our careers would've been ruined if either of us would've went to jail. After leaving that night I go to a hotel from that night forward I don't come home for 2 weeks I stay at hotels or family's house still in shock of how all this has came about. How close we were to losing everything we have including our careers over her behavior. I tell my wife I want time away from her to think things through. She tells me after two weeks of not sleeping under the same roof as her I need to come home because our children are asking a lot of questions I was skeptical but I returned and only for my kids I love my kids more than anything and during this 2 week period of being gone from them I would show up as my wife left for work and take them to school and pick them up and still see them and do stuff with them. I started staying back at home for my kids my wife and I still haven't slept in the same bed I am devistated on what to do about my marriage I can't handle a controlling and psychotically jealous wife anymore. This is not all that's going on in my marriage just some of the big things. I feel like I do most of the house work and I do all of the outside work. I clean, do dishes, do laundry etc I hate not having a clean and organized house. Lately things have been getting out of control with spending financially. All of this combined is driving me crazy. I told my wife 3 times I wanted a divorce but she begs me and tells me how everything can and will be better. She did start medicine for whatever is going on with her mentally but honestly not much has changed not like she promised. She still leaves the house and goes drinking with her friends and doesn't come home until late into the night etc. I don't know what to do I am beyond devastated to think about what a divorce would do to my kids 5 & 6. I can't stand the thought of them possibly having another father figure in their future. I have days where I feel strong enough to divorce and I know everything will be ok and be fine and then I have days where I question if I would be able to make it through something like that or not. I feel really confused on what to do my wife's behavior hasn't changed much and the only reason there's been any change at all is because I told her I wanted a divorce and I feel like she's trying to look really good right now and show me this "change". I worry what if I'm never happy again what if I never have this life of fun and happiness like I had before all these issues started happen for the last year and a half. I'm really stuck on what to do
submitted by OilPsychological1080 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 14:41 Turbulent_Document77 OCD ruining my life and relationship for the past 5 years.
Hi friends, needing some help with this one.
I’ve had OCD since I was a child but only diagnosed in my early 20s.
Before I met my partner my OCD focused mostly on specific intrusive thoughts/compulsions but ever since beginning my relationship five years ago it has pretty much turned into fully ROCD.
A bit of back story on my dating history - I always chased people who treated me terribly and was absolutely head over heels. After reflection in my dating history I realised I would always push away from those who seemed to be genuinely nice/respectful
So in comes my boyfriend, I love him so much but I feel my brain is constantly trying to push me away
“You’re not attracted to him” “He’s x/y/z” “He doesn’t really love you” “You don’t really love him”
I’ve also found myself hyper focusing on ridiculous things such as hair thinning/height/skin etc and having random fleeting thoughts of potential new relationships and I hate myself for it.
I just want to be happy and have these stupid thoughts stop, it’s been going on since the start.
I smile when I come home and hear him call out to me, I love how our hands feel holding when walking together, I love how much he makes me laugh and how much fun we have together.
I. Love. This. Man.
But something in me wants it ruined.
I was recently spooked reading a random post last night about a girl saying she was 5 years into a relationship before realising she wasn’t sexually attracted to her partner and now I’m terrified that’s me.
It’s hard for me to initiate sex in this relationship and I never really look forward to it (I love it when it happens and we have really great sex) but I seem to be mentally blocked in being intimate with someone who actually cares about me.
I 10000% know if my partner acted similarly to those who treated me horrendously in my past I would be OBSESSED.
I love holding his hand, I love kissing him, I love snuggling him. I am positive that this doubt is coming from a mixture of low self esteem and OCD combined, this issue is I’m not sure how to fix it.
I’ve been seeing therapists on and off for over 10 years now and I’m yet to see much improvement in managing my OCD.
My last therapist strongly suggested I get an ADHD diagnosis and she believes this has a lot to do with my mind jumping between multiple things to worry about and obsess over.
Sorry for the ramble, I would love to hear if anyone else has experienced something similar and anyone who was gotten through it ❤️
submitted by Turbulent_Document77 to OCD [link] [comments]
I’ve had OCD since I was a child but only diagnosed in my early 20s.
Before I met my partner my OCD focused mostly on specific intrusive thoughts/compulsions but ever since beginning my relationship five years ago it has pretty much turned into fully ROCD.
A bit of back story on my dating history - I always chased people who treated me terribly and was absolutely head over heels. After reflection in my dating history I realised I would always push away from those who seemed to be genuinely nice/respectful
So in comes my boyfriend, I love him so much but I feel my brain is constantly trying to push me away
“You’re not attracted to him” “He’s x/y/z” “He doesn’t really love you” “You don’t really love him”
I’ve also found myself hyper focusing on ridiculous things such as hair thinning/height/skin etc and having random fleeting thoughts of potential new relationships and I hate myself for it.
I just want to be happy and have these stupid thoughts stop, it’s been going on since the start.
I smile when I come home and hear him call out to me, I love how our hands feel holding when walking together, I love how much he makes me laugh and how much fun we have together.
I. Love. This. Man.
But something in me wants it ruined.
I was recently spooked reading a random post last night about a girl saying she was 5 years into a relationship before realising she wasn’t sexually attracted to her partner and now I’m terrified that’s me.
It’s hard for me to initiate sex in this relationship and I never really look forward to it (I love it when it happens and we have really great sex) but I seem to be mentally blocked in being intimate with someone who actually cares about me.
I 10000% know if my partner acted similarly to those who treated me horrendously in my past I would be OBSESSED.
I love holding his hand, I love kissing him, I love snuggling him. I am positive that this doubt is coming from a mixture of low self esteem and OCD combined, this issue is I’m not sure how to fix it.
I’ve been seeing therapists on and off for over 10 years now and I’m yet to see much improvement in managing my OCD.
My last therapist strongly suggested I get an ADHD diagnosis and she believes this has a lot to do with my mind jumping between multiple things to worry about and obsess over.
Sorry for the ramble, I would love to hear if anyone else has experienced something similar and anyone who was gotten through it ❤️
2024.06.09 14:27 RepresentativeEgg489 AITA for asking my male friend to go to the morgan wallen concert with me.
my boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months, he lives in Utah and I live in Florida, I had to move to Florida in February for family reasons, and should only be here for a few more months. I was super bummed I had to move here, the only things that were getting me through was the fact that I had Morgan Wallen tickets for July
my sister who was supposed to come to Florida and go with me had some thing come up and she no longer attend.I have One female friend here and I asked her and she said she would be out of town. I asked my parents and my brother and none of them wanted to drive to the concert, I even asked my boyfriend if he could fly for the concert as well as my other friends from out of state and they can’t. Myy parents told me I’m not allowed to go by myself either, and that I either have to find somebody to go with, or I have to sell the tickets. Like I said, I’ve been looking forward to this concert for almost a year. So yesterday, at a church activity I asked my male friend, who I am not attracted to in the slightest and he said yes. I told my boyfriend and he freaked out at me,he told me i asked him out on a date and he told me I was cheating on him, and started acting like he was about to cry until I insisted I sold the tickets. I listed the tickets on StubHub and they sold pretty much immediately. I think he’s right that I probably should’ve asked him if it was OK first, but I also exhausted Literally every other option it’s not like my guy friend was the first person I asked.
my boyfriend told me he’d be willing to take me to the concert in Vegas since it’s a quick road trip from Utah, but I had these tickets for Tampa at face value at $150 even if he pays for my Vegas ticket I will still have to spend a lot of money on airfare and taking off work.
I love Morgan Wallen and really wanted to go . I can’t shake the feeling that I have been gaslit and now i’m missing Morgan Wallen but I also could just be a bad person. Any input is appreciate.
submitted by RepresentativeEgg489 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
my sister who was supposed to come to Florida and go with me had some thing come up and she no longer attend.I have One female friend here and I asked her and she said she would be out of town. I asked my parents and my brother and none of them wanted to drive to the concert, I even asked my boyfriend if he could fly for the concert as well as my other friends from out of state and they can’t. Myy parents told me I’m not allowed to go by myself either, and that I either have to find somebody to go with, or I have to sell the tickets. Like I said, I’ve been looking forward to this concert for almost a year. So yesterday, at a church activity I asked my male friend, who I am not attracted to in the slightest and he said yes. I told my boyfriend and he freaked out at me,he told me i asked him out on a date and he told me I was cheating on him, and started acting like he was about to cry until I insisted I sold the tickets. I listed the tickets on StubHub and they sold pretty much immediately. I think he’s right that I probably should’ve asked him if it was OK first, but I also exhausted Literally every other option it’s not like my guy friend was the first person I asked.
my boyfriend told me he’d be willing to take me to the concert in Vegas since it’s a quick road trip from Utah, but I had these tickets for Tampa at face value at $150 even if he pays for my Vegas ticket I will still have to spend a lot of money on airfare and taking off work.
I love Morgan Wallen and really wanted to go . I can’t shake the feeling that I have been gaslit and now i’m missing Morgan Wallen but I also could just be a bad person. Any input is appreciate.
2024.06.09 14:13 AdmirableMagazine340 My (26F) boyfriend (29M) acted inappropriately at on a couple’s trip. I am going home today. How do I handle this conversation?
I have been with my (26F) boyfriend (29M) for almost two years now. We moved in together beginning of August. Some context before I get into it. I am very close with my family and that change brought on a lot of stress for me which led me to add new anxiety pills into the mix. These meds only amplified things for me, I tried 3 different ones and was not reacting well, I was severely depressed. My parents pulled me off of them cold turkey because it was so bad, but that triggered a mental breakdown for me. I was then diagnosed with bipolar2.
I had never been so low. I had to rebuild my life again after going through such a traumatic time in my life and learn what I want again. I stopped drinking because I prioritized my recovering and trying to understand how to manage my new reality, I hadn’t really been the same since and that is okay, but my lifestyle has changed a lot. My boyfriend and I used to drink almost every weekend. It was a cycle for me and I think that is how I didn’t get diagnosed for so long. I would drink, cry, be depressed for a few days thinking that is normal, and get amped up to do it all over again. We bonded over many other things and we enjoy the same things. I love him deeply, he was there for me during my darkest period through and through.
The issue is his drinking has started to become a huge problem for me. We talked about slowing down when we moved in together. He did at first, now that it’s summer, it’s back to the way it was. It’s affecting me because he comes in stumbling in drunk a few hours after he said he would be home wreaking like alcohol and is beyond grumpy on weekends. He’ll golf during the day too and it’s never just golf. I need sleep, it’s essential for me. If I go a few days without it, I need to call my psychiatrist because it can really throw me off. It stresses me out too because of the fighting.
I have been persistent on letting him know how I feel and how it’s affecting me. It actually has been the cause of at least 4 hypomanic episodes now and I am reaching a breaking point. I get so angry that it sends me in a tailspin and I don’t deserve that. I have set boundaries about coming home on time and updating me, ideally drinking less so he isn’t sleeping all the next day and we barely see each other. He can never follow them because he’s too drunk, or having too much fun with the boys. Well today I think I may have had it. The last time we fought he had passed out on the couch with a girl friend of ours, she is engaged but they had hooked up 10 years ago. I continue to be disrespected but he finds a way to make it seem like I am expecting too much because I have changed my lifestyle which he is okay with. He makes me feel bad for me not being okay with his, invalidated. I am the different one. He has been profusely apologizing and I don’t want to hear it. He said he thinks his drink got spiked and he didn’t recognize himself, he said it’s a reason not an excuse.
I was at a girls night and my friend that I haven’t spoken to in a few weeks randomly dropped on me as soon as she got there that my boyfriend had been acting inappropriate and weird at the cottage they just went to. I was asking for more information and she was coy about it, which was really bothering me. It was a couples trip. She told me the girls there went skinny dipping and apparently they were saying no boys down there and he was not leaving and staring at the from the dock in the dark. I was beyond pissed. I had just started hanging with my friends again and was looking forward to this night. I feel numb. I want to make it clear that I am not weak, I am highly aware of my mental state and how important it is to stay calm for myself. It’s not for him. He is a huge part of my support system.
He has texted about how he is so disgusted and ashamed with himself and he wants to make some permanent changes. I am not fully adjusted on my meds yet so on the advice of my parents, its best to wait a few weeks to decide what I want to do because this could send me into a tailspin. I hate how this is making me feel. I am staring to feel ambivalent towards this version of him. I don’t want it. I slept at my friends and am going home soon. Please help me navigate how to handle this situation. I am aware it’s bad, but I need support right now. I feel lost and stressed. How do I go about this conversation? I didn’t sleep last night either I can barely think or feel.
TLDR; my boyfriend has amped up his drinking after I just went through a bad mental health battle. Active inappropriately at a cottage watching girls skinny dip. it’s really affecting me making it harder to manage my mental health. I am going home today and need advice on how to handle the conversation given I am also mentally fragile right now.
submitted by AdmirableMagazine340 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I had never been so low. I had to rebuild my life again after going through such a traumatic time in my life and learn what I want again. I stopped drinking because I prioritized my recovering and trying to understand how to manage my new reality, I hadn’t really been the same since and that is okay, but my lifestyle has changed a lot. My boyfriend and I used to drink almost every weekend. It was a cycle for me and I think that is how I didn’t get diagnosed for so long. I would drink, cry, be depressed for a few days thinking that is normal, and get amped up to do it all over again. We bonded over many other things and we enjoy the same things. I love him deeply, he was there for me during my darkest period through and through.
The issue is his drinking has started to become a huge problem for me. We talked about slowing down when we moved in together. He did at first, now that it’s summer, it’s back to the way it was. It’s affecting me because he comes in stumbling in drunk a few hours after he said he would be home wreaking like alcohol and is beyond grumpy on weekends. He’ll golf during the day too and it’s never just golf. I need sleep, it’s essential for me. If I go a few days without it, I need to call my psychiatrist because it can really throw me off. It stresses me out too because of the fighting.
I have been persistent on letting him know how I feel and how it’s affecting me. It actually has been the cause of at least 4 hypomanic episodes now and I am reaching a breaking point. I get so angry that it sends me in a tailspin and I don’t deserve that. I have set boundaries about coming home on time and updating me, ideally drinking less so he isn’t sleeping all the next day and we barely see each other. He can never follow them because he’s too drunk, or having too much fun with the boys. Well today I think I may have had it. The last time we fought he had passed out on the couch with a girl friend of ours, she is engaged but they had hooked up 10 years ago. I continue to be disrespected but he finds a way to make it seem like I am expecting too much because I have changed my lifestyle which he is okay with. He makes me feel bad for me not being okay with his, invalidated. I am the different one. He has been profusely apologizing and I don’t want to hear it. He said he thinks his drink got spiked and he didn’t recognize himself, he said it’s a reason not an excuse.
I was at a girls night and my friend that I haven’t spoken to in a few weeks randomly dropped on me as soon as she got there that my boyfriend had been acting inappropriate and weird at the cottage they just went to. I was asking for more information and she was coy about it, which was really bothering me. It was a couples trip. She told me the girls there went skinny dipping and apparently they were saying no boys down there and he was not leaving and staring at the from the dock in the dark. I was beyond pissed. I had just started hanging with my friends again and was looking forward to this night. I feel numb. I want to make it clear that I am not weak, I am highly aware of my mental state and how important it is to stay calm for myself. It’s not for him. He is a huge part of my support system.
He has texted about how he is so disgusted and ashamed with himself and he wants to make some permanent changes. I am not fully adjusted on my meds yet so on the advice of my parents, its best to wait a few weeks to decide what I want to do because this could send me into a tailspin. I hate how this is making me feel. I am staring to feel ambivalent towards this version of him. I don’t want it. I slept at my friends and am going home soon. Please help me navigate how to handle this situation. I am aware it’s bad, but I need support right now. I feel lost and stressed. How do I go about this conversation? I didn’t sleep last night either I can barely think or feel.
TLDR; my boyfriend has amped up his drinking after I just went through a bad mental health battle. Active inappropriately at a cottage watching girls skinny dip. it’s really affecting me making it harder to manage my mental health. I am going home today and need advice on how to handle the conversation given I am also mentally fragile right now.
2024.06.09 13:50 anonymouswoman906 [real] (06/09/2024) The view from 6 feet under
I feel like I'm drowning in my own life.
When I was in college, there was this naive hope for the future. That I was making waves and chasing dreams. Life was hard, but I had something to look forward too.
I always thought I would have a family someday. A good job. A decent home, nothing fancy.
I'm almost 27 and I'm no where near that dream. And now I have to figure out who I am without it.
It wouldn't hurt so much if I weren't so lonely. Most of my family is dead or estranged. I am trying to make the best of the family I have left but I'm nowhere near them.
I'm miserable at my job. I love the work itself but not the conditions I am under currently. Sure there is work drama anywhere you go. Working all three shifts- morning, afternoon, and night in a pay period is just too much. I don't feel like I have a life outside of work. My days off are spent trying to fix my sleep schedule for the next day that I work. I can't just quit either. I would have to move entirely for the kind of work I do.
Dating is hard. I feel like it has sucked out all of the love I had to offer. I don't think love exists anymore, that is if it ever did exist. I didn't just have shitty boyfriends, I had boyfriends who didn't even care about my well being.
The worst part is lying to people that you're okay when you're not. You have to lie because if you don't, they ask why. And when you tell them why they get irritated or try to fix you/the situation. And then you realize no one cares how sad you are. No one cares how much you're struggling so you stop telling anyone anything.
And then, when they find out something horrible happened to you they ask why you didn't tell them.
And then you're the asshole.
I never considered myself to be suicidal but I've been thinking about it more than ever before.
I don't want to die I just don't want to feel this way. This kind of hatred for myself, the feeling of drifting through life. Knowing that I don't matter to anyone.
submitted by anonymouswoman906 to DiaryOfARedditor [link] [comments]
When I was in college, there was this naive hope for the future. That I was making waves and chasing dreams. Life was hard, but I had something to look forward too.
I always thought I would have a family someday. A good job. A decent home, nothing fancy.
I'm almost 27 and I'm no where near that dream. And now I have to figure out who I am without it.
It wouldn't hurt so much if I weren't so lonely. Most of my family is dead or estranged. I am trying to make the best of the family I have left but I'm nowhere near them.
I'm miserable at my job. I love the work itself but not the conditions I am under currently. Sure there is work drama anywhere you go. Working all three shifts- morning, afternoon, and night in a pay period is just too much. I don't feel like I have a life outside of work. My days off are spent trying to fix my sleep schedule for the next day that I work. I can't just quit either. I would have to move entirely for the kind of work I do.
Dating is hard. I feel like it has sucked out all of the love I had to offer. I don't think love exists anymore, that is if it ever did exist. I didn't just have shitty boyfriends, I had boyfriends who didn't even care about my well being.
The worst part is lying to people that you're okay when you're not. You have to lie because if you don't, they ask why. And when you tell them why they get irritated or try to fix you/the situation. And then you realize no one cares how sad you are. No one cares how much you're struggling so you stop telling anyone anything.
And then, when they find out something horrible happened to you they ask why you didn't tell them.
And then you're the asshole.
I never considered myself to be suicidal but I've been thinking about it more than ever before.
I don't want to die I just don't want to feel this way. This kind of hatred for myself, the feeling of drifting through life. Knowing that I don't matter to anyone.
2024.06.09 12:52 BitEnvironmental634 I hate my mum
Hey, this is my first post here.
I'm feeling really frustrated at the moment, and just want someone to listen.
Throughout my childhood, mum was always drunk. She was very unstable, she had bpd, which doesn't tend to mix well with alchohol. She was always very bitchy and mean when she was drunk, sometimes violent too.
Flash forwards to now, she's a few years sober and suddenly becomes disabled. Fine. She has fnd, which causes seizures, temporary paralysis and pain etc. She CONSTANTLY complains about her pain but won't take any of my solutions, like actually taking her meds. As well as this, every time I have a problem and talk to her, she's so cold with me and makes it about herself, often ending in me holding her whilst she cries. The thing that pushed me over the edge was this morning. I awoke to a message. "I can hardly move x" and I don't reply because she's a grown woman and I am her kid. I quite frankly don't give a fuck anymore. Following that, a few hours later, "can you make me a bagel and a coffee? X" I ignore her for a few minutes, then decide to just get on with it. I go down and her ex boyfriend who she dumped a few days ago but still lives here is holding a tray with her breakfast and my mum is crying like she's been shot and shaking trying to walk away from the kitchen. I look at this woman and I just want to punch her. Why is she doing this to me. I never got to have a mum because she was always black out drunk and now I have this adult-child who throws temper tantrums and cries on the floor or in the kitchen over anything and everything. I just wish she wasn't my mum. I just want a mum.
submitted by BitEnvironmental634 to venting [link] [comments]
I'm feeling really frustrated at the moment, and just want someone to listen.
Throughout my childhood, mum was always drunk. She was very unstable, she had bpd, which doesn't tend to mix well with alchohol. She was always very bitchy and mean when she was drunk, sometimes violent too.
Flash forwards to now, she's a few years sober and suddenly becomes disabled. Fine. She has fnd, which causes seizures, temporary paralysis and pain etc. She CONSTANTLY complains about her pain but won't take any of my solutions, like actually taking her meds. As well as this, every time I have a problem and talk to her, she's so cold with me and makes it about herself, often ending in me holding her whilst she cries. The thing that pushed me over the edge was this morning. I awoke to a message. "I can hardly move x" and I don't reply because she's a grown woman and I am her kid. I quite frankly don't give a fuck anymore. Following that, a few hours later, "can you make me a bagel and a coffee? X" I ignore her for a few minutes, then decide to just get on with it. I go down and her ex boyfriend who she dumped a few days ago but still lives here is holding a tray with her breakfast and my mum is crying like she's been shot and shaking trying to walk away from the kitchen. I look at this woman and I just want to punch her. Why is she doing this to me. I never got to have a mum because she was always black out drunk and now I have this adult-child who throws temper tantrums and cries on the floor or in the kitchen over anything and everything. I just wish she wasn't my mum. I just want a mum.
2024.06.09 12:46 Select-Cranberry1635 Does the pain go away?
I 26F met my ex 36M 8 months ago, he was an amazing boyfriend, he had an ex wife and an ex partner with whom he wanted to share a child. Throughout our entire relationship he trauma dumped on me, cried in front of me nights after nights telling me how badly he was mistreated (ex partner called him a narcissist and a predator and is not ready to share the child with him). I stuck with him through the entire custody process, cooked for him when he was too tired, cared for him when he was too sick. I was so fond of him. Never saw the signs of how selfish he is, he did say that he wants to be a selfish person going forward and his therapist backs up on that. I always thought he meant that he wanted to be a much more self loving person. He would want me to leave his house when I was cramping in pain (have terrible endometriosis). I also have IBS and once during the Easter week I started bleeding down there terribly, he took me to the hospital. Later he told me that he just really wanted to rest that week and be chill and not do anything (hospital was 6-7 miles away). Just few weeks ago I moved to a new house which is 5 mins from his house while he had court sessions. It was extremely overwhelming for me to move in a new house and also that he was going through such a difficult time, I was so scared of what’s gonna happen next. Long story short, he won the case, he should be able to share the child. I was happy but at the same time freaking out mostly because of I have severe anxiety. He knew everything about my mental health, about how I worry too much. I did bring up the conversation that this might be too much for both of us but only to realize I really fell for him and started to love him. I told him that as well, he dumped me saying I was too intense, too much for him. Apparently, I pushed him to call me everyday where he spoke for hours with me. I pushed him to be closer to me where he really wanted to take it slower. I did everything right for that man, now I’m in a new house, a new town away from my friends all alone. It’s been 3 weeks since we broke up. Everything hurts. I have gone no contact with him ever since. But nothing seems to get better. Hope it does though. Thank you for reading through this.
submitted by Select-Cranberry1635 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 12:43 weedle_waddle Feeling disappointed after seeing grad pics
Hi all, I am 23F. I've been witnessing a ton of graduation photos recently.. Even one of my exes graduated and it has significantly brought my mood down. I know and you know that deep down I'm not "over him."If anything I resent him. (Other story).
Many people I know who have taken a gap year, have graduated. And even worse I am here.. Unemployed, trying to find a job, in debt, still cycling here and there through my moods even with my medication that I'm still trying to stabilize. I want to be like them, I want to graduate, I wish I could go back to the future and decide to not drop out. What if I didn't drop out, would I have gotten my bachelors degree? I wish I had a degree to even bring a smile to my mom's face, but I am unemployed and I'm not able to provide for her the way I've always wanted to.
I thought that internally I was really finding myself, trying to battle bipolar. I was proud of myself, but even worse it cycles (as it usually does). I am proud one day, next I am in tears wondering what I am even doing with my life and why I am the way I am. I want to be proud and I have found some techniques to help me with positive talk. I have an amazing therapist and an amazing psychiatrist, but everything still feels like it's not in place and I don't know what else to say or do.
I hide a lot of things from my therapist and it ranges from my mood disorder such as getting irritated, yelling at my boyfriend, making impulsive decisions to message people, etc... (so many more...)
I'm not sure how to go forward with these feelings.. I feel so lost.
I feel absolutely disappointed in myself as I sit here after a night at the bar realizing that I can't have my boyfriend paying for my drinks all the time, paying for my gas. I don't want to live like that. I want to be able to get my degree, get a good job to provide, make the people around me proud and happy, make myself proud and happy. I can't help but ask myself what have I been doing with my life.
I want to be normal. I want to graduate college, get a good job. Provide, take care of the people I love. There are so many things I want to accomplish, but will I even have time????? I'm so lost guys. I really need some other opinions and perspectives, maybe it will help me realize on a different angle.
submitted by weedle_waddle to bipolar [link] [comments]
Many people I know who have taken a gap year, have graduated. And even worse I am here.. Unemployed, trying to find a job, in debt, still cycling here and there through my moods even with my medication that I'm still trying to stabilize. I want to be like them, I want to graduate, I wish I could go back to the future and decide to not drop out. What if I didn't drop out, would I have gotten my bachelors degree? I wish I had a degree to even bring a smile to my mom's face, but I am unemployed and I'm not able to provide for her the way I've always wanted to.
I thought that internally I was really finding myself, trying to battle bipolar. I was proud of myself, but even worse it cycles (as it usually does). I am proud one day, next I am in tears wondering what I am even doing with my life and why I am the way I am. I want to be proud and I have found some techniques to help me with positive talk. I have an amazing therapist and an amazing psychiatrist, but everything still feels like it's not in place and I don't know what else to say or do.
I hide a lot of things from my therapist and it ranges from my mood disorder such as getting irritated, yelling at my boyfriend, making impulsive decisions to message people, etc... (so many more...)
I'm not sure how to go forward with these feelings.. I feel so lost.
I feel absolutely disappointed in myself as I sit here after a night at the bar realizing that I can't have my boyfriend paying for my drinks all the time, paying for my gas. I don't want to live like that. I want to be able to get my degree, get a good job to provide, make the people around me proud and happy, make myself proud and happy. I can't help but ask myself what have I been doing with my life.
I want to be normal. I want to graduate college, get a good job. Provide, take care of the people I love. There are so many things I want to accomplish, but will I even have time????? I'm so lost guys. I really need some other opinions and perspectives, maybe it will help me realize on a different angle.
2024.06.09 12:35 OstrichMysterious196 My Ex Broke Up with me while he was international and cheated on me while he was away
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me over text in the middle of my day while he was in a foreign country and he told me he cheated. A little history of our relationship 2.5 years ago I cheated (I made out with a dude and did some emotional cheating). I didn’t tell my ex and then a few month later he found out from the guy. My ex and I had a horrible falling out on that day but the next day he decided to come back to me and set a lot of rules.
I can’t understand how he could cheat and break up with me partly because when I did it he was so betrayed. Only time I’ve seen him cry in our relationship. I don’t know how to stop wanting him and texting him. I also don’t know if he’ll tell people in his life that he cheated and that makes me feel pretty bad. I don’t know I kinda at least want his parents to know what do I do? And how can I get my body to stop having a trauma response
TL;DR my ex broke up with me after cheating on me how do I stop my body’s trauma response
submitted by OstrichMysterious196 to relationships [link] [comments]
- No guy friends allowed
- I had to give him my iPad so he’d be able to see my messages
I can’t understand how he could cheat and break up with me partly because when I did it he was so betrayed. Only time I’ve seen him cry in our relationship. I don’t know how to stop wanting him and texting him. I also don’t know if he’ll tell people in his life that he cheated and that makes me feel pretty bad. I don’t know I kinda at least want his parents to know what do I do? And how can I get my body to stop having a trauma response
TL;DR my ex broke up with me after cheating on me how do I stop my body’s trauma response
2024.06.09 12:02 Savings-Ear-8001 AITA for dating an old friend’s “ex” even when she said that he “was never her boyfriend” and that “she never loved him”?
Backstory: I was close friends with a girl, let’s call her Emma, for a considerable number of years. She had always been a bit manipulative and had a vast history of short-term flings with guys, but my family liked her. I, 17f, am relatively self reserved and had never experienced a relationship before. One summer I returned from an abroad trip and she announced that she had a new guy to “rebound” from her ex boyfriend (Tom) of a couple months. She invited me to meet him. He was an attractive guy, let’s call him Jake, and him and I got along pretty well. I asked her if it was okay to get his Snapchat and she agreed. Main story: As Emma and Jake started to grow closer, Jake became suspicious of her cheating. As a good friend I didn’t know what to do, as she was already bragging about Tom being interested in her again. One evening I get a call from Jake asking me to tell him Emma’s Life360 location as she’s been very dry over text and barely responded to his messages. He also said it was starting to negatively impact his mental health and he didn’t know how long he could cope. I looked at Emma’s location and instantly knew it was Tom’s house. I had no idea what to do, but knew the morally right thing would be to be honest to Jake. I called Emma, who told me that she was seeing Tom in secret and for me to not report back to Jake as she still wanted him in case “things went wrong”. It didn’t sit right with me knowing Jake was in such a state, and seeing Snapchat videos of Emma cuddling with Tom and looking so smug. I told him the location and Emma came clean, ending things with Jake so she could return to her ex. Emma made it clear that Jake was never her boyfriend, she was never in love with him and he was simply a “quick rebound”. Fast forward two months and Jake and I had been messaging a while as friends. We bounced off each other’s humour and shared very similar morals. One evening he asked me if I fancied meeting his friends, and I said sure. I distanced from Emma after she said some nasty words to my sister, and thought it would be fun. I didn’t realise it would end in kissing Jake at the end of the night. His friends were teasing him and making it obvious he liked me, and I couldn’t deny my attraction towards him. We continued to meet until he asked me to be his girlfriend, and soon later we confessed our love for one another. I felt guilty, but had comfort in the fact that Emma told me she never loved him and he didn’t mean anything to her. A mutual friend between Emma and Jake noted that I was Jake‘s girlfriend and proceeded to tell Emma. Despite Emma still being in a healthy, long-lasting relationship with Tom, she proceeded to message family members, including my sister, saying that I need “psychiatric help” because I’m “f****d in the head” for getting with Jake. She said I should have “taken her feelings into account” and she felt “incredibly hurt” because she allegedly felt such an attraction to Jake when she was with him. She messaged my friends telling them to avoid me because I’m “dangerous” and I’m “going insane”, and tried to tell me that the only reason Jake is with me is because he’s still in love with her and “needed a rebound”, so it’s not “real love” which I perceived as a little arrogant. She also tried to tell me that Jake was flirting with her and head-over-heels in love with her, would get back with her in a heartbeat and HE told her we were dating, not the mutual friend. Jake and I both knew this wasn’t the case, and I had confirmation from all of our friends saying it wasn’t Jake that told Emma. After Tom recently broke up with Emma, she is trying to make out that she is suddenly in love with Jake “again” and wishes to get back with him, and if I was a “good friend”, I would break up with Jake so that she could get back with him and finally “take it seriously”. So- AITA? Fast forward- Jake and I split up due to him cheating on me with another girl. Their short relationship soon ended and our friend group decided to meet up after I finished colllege. Jake turns up, and brings Emma with him. He announces that they are back together. Of course this is a strange feeling, and seeing Emma purposely kissing him/publicly showing affection all whilst giving me an evil eye was an unpleasant experience. She also body shamed me multiple times and continued to ask my other friends (who I met through Jake) why they were friends with a “fake friend” like me, all while I was there. My family tells me to leave the group, but they are the only friends I have and since Emma has rejoined the group things have changed. Any advice on this subject would be appreciated ❤️
submitted by Savings-Ear-8001 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 11:59 Business_Storage5016 So it finally happened, I told his mom off
For a bit of background, I (21m) have been with my boyfriend (19m) for over a year now. He moved in with me last July, and we have been nothing but content with one another since. It started kind of slow, with us talking to each other December 2022, and our relationship went crazy from there. I love this man with my whole heart, and he loves me. But we are totally different, he is the sweetest, kindest guy who will try to do anything to appease anyone. I am the opposite (I'm not mean by any means, but I'm blunt). I don't sugarcoat anything, I am straight to the point, and I try not to beat around the bush.
Since he has moved in with me, his mom has made snarky, harsh comments on my livelihood, my personality and who I am as a person. Lately, this has been getting much worse since his mom just met someone back in November and literally married her Friday. The first interaction I had with his mom was her calling at 3pm (at the time, my boyfriend was working night shift, not getting home til 4am), so naturally he chose to sleep in. I was woken up to her screaming and cussing him out on the phone for sleeping in... And this was a slight argument between her and me because she woke me up too, and she had no right to call her son screaming and cursing him out for sleeping in.
Moving on to a month after that interaction, she started showing up out of nowhere (his family lives 2 hours away from us, so she was making an appoint to come up on his days off without notice to see him - wrecking any plans we had). Eventually, him and I got tired of it and when we confronted her about at least giving us a notice, she started threatening to kill herself...
Fast-forward to January, my boyfriend and I went on a trip with my family to Florida. It was completely paid for by my grandmother and my aunt, and his mom had nothing good to say about it. She insisted that I'm spoiled rotten and I get everything I want (I don't, this was literally a treat). We went to Florida because my aunt and grandfather passed away just a little bit before and left her and my aunt everything they owned, so in remembrance of them - we took a trip which I invited my boyfriend.
When we got back from our trip, I decided to take off from work since I have saved up a lot of money to pay my way through school to get my accounting degree.... And oh boy did his mom not like this.. Ever since I chose not to work to instead take on 5-6 classes, she has been nothing but nasty to me and about me. For the past few months she has said that I have been using her son for money, I'm a mooch, I'm lazy, I don't work worth of shit, I'm terrible, I'm abusive, etc. You name it, any insult under the sun she's said about me to him. I've tried to keep my cool about it, venting to him about how much his mom hates me and what she says isn't right. Did she forget he is living under my roof?! I door dash on the side for extra income, but I've said money since high school so I could go to college. It's always been my dream to focus on my education and studies and not worry about working a crappy dead end job.... I've told him to tell her numerous times that I don't use him for money, if anything he still owes me over a grand for me covering his expenses when he moved in with me!
Last month, she and her new fiance decided to invite him, and only him, out to lunch. I ended up getting so upset over this because I wasn't invited to an event that should've included me, and I have been with my boyfriend much longer than she's even known this woman. I ended up asking her if she has a problem with me because I wasn't invited, and she just assumed I knew I was invited (I think she deliberately didn't invite me because she doesn't like me...) It's not just the lunch invite that says this, it's the fact she's only says negative things about me, she tells him I am abusive, if she contacts me it's because she wants something from me. God forbid she texts him wanting something, she's told her son that she would kill herself if he didn't send her money.... What kind of mother.... Anyways, onto yesterday.
It got bad yesterday. I decided to try to call, and I was responded with voicemail. I wasn't mad at this point, her wife (they got married the day after I mentioned I am going to propose to my boyfriend, it's like she was trying to one up me?!) said to me that I need to work and focus on school, and I told her, "what I need to do is do what I want to do and what's best for me, not what you and his mom keep saying for me to do!" I ended up telling her if they don't fk finance or feed me than they need to stop trying to have a vote in my life because I have done nothing but support and help their son, and they have done nothing but talk crap about me... Oh this went so bad. After saying that (which, no I did not cuss her out. The only curse word I said was that saying of fk feed finance), she went ballistic. She started cursing me out, going off on me. I have never ever read so many curse words, but after she said they don't say "shit" about me this is when I got mad. After all the cursing and name calling she did, I said "say it with your fking chest." It ended up with her going off on me even more, and I told her wife to go fk herself, I don't have to put up with this. Blocked her. His mom started calling him, screaming and cursing at him that I cursed her wife out and that I'm abusive, he needs to break up with me and get out of this "toxic" relationship. I tried to call his mom once I cooled down, and I sent my boyfriend the messages because that isn't what happened whatsoever!! I texted his mom saying she needs to get her facts right, and if she's going to talk shit about me she needs to have something other than lies to stand behind. It didn't go over to well with her, and no I didn't curse her out either (because why would I? I have more self respect than to drop to their level of petty and hurtfulness!!) I have been trying so hard to be good to his mom, but I have absolutely had it with the bashing and name calling and everything else she has been putting me through....
Tonight, when he got off of work, we talked about what was happening. He agrees with me, and is going to be distancing her out of his life for a little bit... I told him that she is only hurting herself and her relationship with her son.... And that I have the final say in what she gets to be apart of, hell she won't be invited to our wedding if she doesn't apologize and make this right. And I have every right to exclude her from any events with her son because it's him and me, and she isn't going to treat me like a 2nd class citizen....
I don't know what's going to happen, but I have tried so hard to be sweet and kind to his mom. After a certain point, I can't take it anymore. I am just glad I had the texts of her and her wife cussing me out and calling me all those terrible names! And after all that, they told him I better apologize. This is such a mess, but if he loves me he'll stand by my side. And if he doesn't, I'll help him pack his bags to go home. But I'm not going to be treated like garbage, and I shouldn't have to put up with the insults, the harassment, the petty comments, all the bs she has been dishing out at me this past year.... I'm done.
Would I be the asshole if I want him to have an ultimatum with how his mother treats me? I feel that I am getting to the point of not being able to handle this anymore.
submitted by Business_Storage5016 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Since he has moved in with me, his mom has made snarky, harsh comments on my livelihood, my personality and who I am as a person. Lately, this has been getting much worse since his mom just met someone back in November and literally married her Friday. The first interaction I had with his mom was her calling at 3pm (at the time, my boyfriend was working night shift, not getting home til 4am), so naturally he chose to sleep in. I was woken up to her screaming and cussing him out on the phone for sleeping in... And this was a slight argument between her and me because she woke me up too, and she had no right to call her son screaming and cursing him out for sleeping in.
Moving on to a month after that interaction, she started showing up out of nowhere (his family lives 2 hours away from us, so she was making an appoint to come up on his days off without notice to see him - wrecking any plans we had). Eventually, him and I got tired of it and when we confronted her about at least giving us a notice, she started threatening to kill herself...
Fast-forward to January, my boyfriend and I went on a trip with my family to Florida. It was completely paid for by my grandmother and my aunt, and his mom had nothing good to say about it. She insisted that I'm spoiled rotten and I get everything I want (I don't, this was literally a treat). We went to Florida because my aunt and grandfather passed away just a little bit before and left her and my aunt everything they owned, so in remembrance of them - we took a trip which I invited my boyfriend.
When we got back from our trip, I decided to take off from work since I have saved up a lot of money to pay my way through school to get my accounting degree.... And oh boy did his mom not like this.. Ever since I chose not to work to instead take on 5-6 classes, she has been nothing but nasty to me and about me. For the past few months she has said that I have been using her son for money, I'm a mooch, I'm lazy, I don't work worth of shit, I'm terrible, I'm abusive, etc. You name it, any insult under the sun she's said about me to him. I've tried to keep my cool about it, venting to him about how much his mom hates me and what she says isn't right. Did she forget he is living under my roof?! I door dash on the side for extra income, but I've said money since high school so I could go to college. It's always been my dream to focus on my education and studies and not worry about working a crappy dead end job.... I've told him to tell her numerous times that I don't use him for money, if anything he still owes me over a grand for me covering his expenses when he moved in with me!
Last month, she and her new fiance decided to invite him, and only him, out to lunch. I ended up getting so upset over this because I wasn't invited to an event that should've included me, and I have been with my boyfriend much longer than she's even known this woman. I ended up asking her if she has a problem with me because I wasn't invited, and she just assumed I knew I was invited (I think she deliberately didn't invite me because she doesn't like me...) It's not just the lunch invite that says this, it's the fact she's only says negative things about me, she tells him I am abusive, if she contacts me it's because she wants something from me. God forbid she texts him wanting something, she's told her son that she would kill herself if he didn't send her money.... What kind of mother.... Anyways, onto yesterday.
It got bad yesterday. I decided to try to call, and I was responded with voicemail. I wasn't mad at this point, her wife (they got married the day after I mentioned I am going to propose to my boyfriend, it's like she was trying to one up me?!) said to me that I need to work and focus on school, and I told her, "what I need to do is do what I want to do and what's best for me, not what you and his mom keep saying for me to do!" I ended up telling her if they don't fk finance or feed me than they need to stop trying to have a vote in my life because I have done nothing but support and help their son, and they have done nothing but talk crap about me... Oh this went so bad. After saying that (which, no I did not cuss her out. The only curse word I said was that saying of fk feed finance), she went ballistic. She started cursing me out, going off on me. I have never ever read so many curse words, but after she said they don't say "shit" about me this is when I got mad. After all the cursing and name calling she did, I said "say it with your fking chest." It ended up with her going off on me even more, and I told her wife to go fk herself, I don't have to put up with this. Blocked her. His mom started calling him, screaming and cursing at him that I cursed her wife out and that I'm abusive, he needs to break up with me and get out of this "toxic" relationship. I tried to call his mom once I cooled down, and I sent my boyfriend the messages because that isn't what happened whatsoever!! I texted his mom saying she needs to get her facts right, and if she's going to talk shit about me she needs to have something other than lies to stand behind. It didn't go over to well with her, and no I didn't curse her out either (because why would I? I have more self respect than to drop to their level of petty and hurtfulness!!) I have been trying so hard to be good to his mom, but I have absolutely had it with the bashing and name calling and everything else she has been putting me through....
Tonight, when he got off of work, we talked about what was happening. He agrees with me, and is going to be distancing her out of his life for a little bit... I told him that she is only hurting herself and her relationship with her son.... And that I have the final say in what she gets to be apart of, hell she won't be invited to our wedding if she doesn't apologize and make this right. And I have every right to exclude her from any events with her son because it's him and me, and she isn't going to treat me like a 2nd class citizen....
I don't know what's going to happen, but I have tried so hard to be sweet and kind to his mom. After a certain point, I can't take it anymore. I am just glad I had the texts of her and her wife cussing me out and calling me all those terrible names! And after all that, they told him I better apologize. This is such a mess, but if he loves me he'll stand by my side. And if he doesn't, I'll help him pack his bags to go home. But I'm not going to be treated like garbage, and I shouldn't have to put up with the insults, the harassment, the petty comments, all the bs she has been dishing out at me this past year.... I'm done.
Would I be the asshole if I want him to have an ultimatum with how his mother treats me? I feel that I am getting to the point of not being able to handle this anymore.
2024.06.09 11:58 OstrichMysterious196 My Ex Broke Up with me while he was international and cheated on me while he was away
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me over text in the middle of my day while he was in a foreign country and he told me he cheated. A little history of our relationship 2.5 years ago I cheated (I made out with a dude and did some emotional cheating). I didn’t tell my ex and then a few month later he found out from the guy. My ex and I had a horrible falling out on that day but the next day he decided to come back to me and set a lot of rules.
I can’t understand how he could cheat and break up with me partly because when I did it he was so betrayed. Only time I’ve seen him cry in our relationship. I don’t know how to stop wanting him and texting him. I also don’t know if he’ll tell people in his life that he cheated and that makes me feel pretty bad. I don’t know I kinda at least want his parents to know what do I do? And how can I get my body to stop having a trauma response
submitted by OstrichMysterious196 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
- No guy friends allowed
- I had to give him my iPad so he’d be able to see my messages
I can’t understand how he could cheat and break up with me partly because when I did it he was so betrayed. Only time I’ve seen him cry in our relationship. I don’t know how to stop wanting him and texting him. I also don’t know if he’ll tell people in his life that he cheated and that makes me feel pretty bad. I don’t know I kinda at least want his parents to know what do I do? And how can I get my body to stop having a trauma response
2024.06.09 11:53 Fluffy-Influence-520 10 years in the making
When we were 15 a friend of mine blatantly stole my crush, full on made out with him, I was devastated for at least 2 weeks and swore revenge. Fast forward 10 years and she’s interviewed for a training contract with a legal firm in my hometown… I was a CTA by then and contacted for a character reference…. Wrote a recommendation that stated ‘ with the notable exception of a boyfriend stealing incident aged 15 I believe the applicant to be of good character’ … they read it out to her in the final interview… she got the job ☺️
submitted by Fluffy-Influence-520 to pettyrevenge [link] [comments]