I am a teaching assistant. I’ve been 19 for a reasonably short amount of time. I work while taking community college courses, and have $11117 in my savings account from my job (was a sub, am now an assistant and have been one since January. Next month I receive a dollar raise, becoming an assistant means I work daily.) I’m admittedly not positive that this is what I see myself doing for my entire life, but also don’t know what I want to major in and am partly here because it’s supposed to be a learning experience for me.
I have grown up in, and still live in, an area that has a very large white population (and a sizable population of one specific non-white ethnic group that is not black. I am from a place that has a low population of black people.) I am a black woman who is from a low income family, and have grown up in an apartment complex (my parents allow me to live with them and not pay rent, which is what has helped me save my money.) I look: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IR_UzLjTM/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6z0F4bptE4/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== and https://www.instagram.com/p/C6IW3nlLufV/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I have noticed, ever since graduating from high school, that I am no longer terribly attracted to white men. I pass average looking white men on the street, and there’s no attraction present. I have felt attraction toward average and above looking black men, particularly those who are dark skinned, although I felt very strong attraction toward a light skinned 1/2 black 1/2 white boy in my senior year of high school (had colored eyes and was commonly considered to be above average/conventionally attractive. I also had a crush on another mixed boy who was slightly above average as a freshman, yet average by the time he was a junior - I was no longer attracted to him after he became average, and also started to dislike him because he had criticized my physical appearance behind my back.) The non-black men I have been attracted to were Mexican/Latino, yet were typically above average (I occasionally feel attraction toward an average looking Mexican/Latino man. Occasionally.) I will admit that I am very specific about what I like. I have found Jake Gyllenhaal attractive (about two years ago I was wildly attracted to him when watching Donnie Darko,) and had a crush on David Bowie in middle school, but think I was more attracted to white men then than I am now. My only boyfriend, two years ago, was black, and was what I think of as average looking. The white men I have typically been attracted to have had blonde hair and blue eyes, but I don’t know why.
I’m introverted. I do have to interact with people because of the nature of my job, but I have no friends. Whenever I am not working, I generally watch television (as of right now, that has typically been “Laverne and Shirley” and “twilight zone” - I’ve actually been marathoning twilight zone every year since I was about 11 or 12 ever since my middle school science teacher turned on two episodes, “eye of the beholder” and “number 12 looks just like you” for our class. I’ve always wanted to introduce a group of youth to the series in that manner, because I remember that it actually got me hooked on the series.)
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I myself am this.
Diagnosed with autism aged 2, ADHD aged 5, and GAD sometime in my teens. So technically, you would say that I’m AuDHD, as many redditors say.
Music has always been a big special interest of mine, and I’ve been listening to Eminem since I was like in middle or high school.
Hope to see him live one day.

There's a lot to explain, and I'm pretty sure that the title doesn't do this situation justice. This is also a throwaway acc- I don't want a suddenly depressing post getting cozy with all my memes and cheery content.
A little backstory- I (16F, Soph) have had bad blood with my mom (36F) for a while, since around the 7th grade. My grades have been iffy, but since freshman year I've been working to fix them. Third quarter, I had an extremely low point. Every day was a haze and I can't remember what sent me through it, and when I snapped out of it, it was too late to change anything. I had straight F's, all except for one of my math classes, which I don't even understand how I managed to maintain. These have plummeted my semester grade, but I've fixed some of them, evened them out to high D's, low C's, and a B. Two of them are unsalvageable, which is completely my fault. I'm still working to raise one more up to a D in the semester.
This all "started" a couple of weeks ago, but I'm guessing it's been building since my last parent teacher confrence. My mother had sat us down in the living room last saturday and informed my sisters (11F and 13F) and I that we were moving, and she's putting our trailer up for sale the first of next month. She said where we find a place is where we will move, so I can't even prepare myself for what I should expect. The main issues I have with moving are;
1- I had to go through it a lot when I was younger and had a really unstable social life, most likely the root of my current social anxiety.
2- I'm nearly an adult- I'm halfway through highschool. It's not going to be easy for me to make new friends in a social climate I have no prior existence in, let alone be able to keep the friends I could potentially make when they move on for college in 2 years. Don't get me wrong, I'd still stay in contact with the friends I have where I'm at, but when you have no friends in the area you live in, it's rough.
3- When I was younger, she promised me that I'd be able to finish my edjucation here, even college if I chose any of them in my area. I know it's stupid to hang on the words of a promise, that things change and promises sometimes can't be held up, but it still hurts being ripped away when I was nearly done with highschool.
My sisters got excited and started looking for new places immediately. I know our place isn't a dream, but we came here, owning nothing but a car. I started the third grade in this town and have been here since. This is my childhood home since the age of nine, I don't remember any other houses we rented. We actually own this trailer too- we're not just renting it from someone. I helped build my own room out of an off limits area when I was 11. It's not perfect, but it's most of what I've known. So are my friends. I can't count how many I've kept since the start of middle school, even if they transfered.
Even if I don't want to leave, I'm no angel. My room is dirty almost all the time, I can't see the floor because of a bunch of dirty clothes. That's one of the reasons my mom is holding against me to make it seem unreasonable that I'm upset about moving- "You don't appreciate your own room." I have no excuse for the way my room looks. It just feels like im paralyzed on my bed afterschool and on the weekends, I'm just tired. I don't know whether or not I'm lazy, isn't being lazy supposed to be enjoyable, at least for the short term in the moment?
The other reason she's giving me are my grades. As stated before, those aren't perfect either, but I'm trying. I've even taken steps to enroll myself into summer school to recover the credits I missed this year. Sure, I have flaws, but does that mean I'm not allowed to be upset over moving at such a crucial developmental point in my life? I'm not even arguing with her about it, all I'm doing is expressing how I feel- I'm not even saying anything to her, I said my piece when she sat us down. I'm just grieving.
Earlier today, she picked me up, everything seemed normal. Then she told me she had a conversation with my dad, (39M), who's out of the picture, but still communicating. She told me that he and her discussed about things continuing "the way I'm taking them." She said if I don't change, she's just going to pull me out of school and make me get my GED. She said she was worried I was going to ruin my career. A GED isn't bad, by all means, but I want an actual diploma. I want to be there with everyone else, dressed in a solid color robe, celebrating the fact that we made it. I won't have the advantages of any early social life at all in the area. I've heard adults say it's hard to make friends once you graduate, and I don't want to be thrown into that early, while being in a new area all at the same time.
I was thinking about all this in the car and cried. I don't think I can take much more of this. It's like she wants my life to follow a certain track, and I'm derailing her train. She dropped out her sophmore year to get married and do hard drugs for a while before she had me, so in my personal opinion, I'm doing way better than she ever had. I know it sounds harsh, and maybe I am being harsh, but when you hear the same story shoved down your throat over and over and over since the 3rd grade, and now said story has been turned into a weapon, it kind of gets redundant to you.
My mom tried cheering me up while we were out for a bit after dropping that by trying to show me facebook memes and telling me funny things my guinea pigs did to eachother that day, but I gave her the cold shoulder the entire time, so now she's pissed. I didn't even say anything, she just started spouting that "I hated her" and "I'm gonna cut her out of my life when I'm older", "I'd rather see her dead than talk with her."
The first two are at least half true at this point, she's been nothing but a source of harsh criticism for years of my life, barely any encouragement or pride in me, if anything at all. If she keeps doing that, I might end up hating her and cutting contact, which just hurts to think about. I don't want to cut contact with the only parent that raised me, even if she didn't raise me well. I still love her at the end of the day, and I think I hate that more than I hate her.
I don't know if this is all just incoherent rambling at this point, I've been crying through 2/3 of the way through this I think. I know I'm not a saint, and I'm at least a partial asshole, but am I completely at fault for this? Did I fall into being a moody, hormonal teen that hates their parents for no reason on accident? AITA?
TLDR: AITA if I'm upset over my mom making me move in the middle of attending high school, on top of threatening to pull me out of school all together for "the sake of my career"?
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I just need help.

I do not have a college degree. Actually, I dropped out of high school due to personal reasons, so I don't even have a high school diploma and have worked as a freelancer ever since.
Some of my customers in the past year have been Japanese, most of whom are small companies or startups (based in Japan). Working with them kinda got me interested in Japan and its people and language, and now I want to live there.
If I offer to work for one of these small companies as a full-time employee and get accepted, will I be able to apply for a working visa with their help?
If this helps, I'm a software and web developer. I also have experience as a personal language tutor. But then again, I don't really have any qualifications as I've always worked as a freelancer.

I'm a student from a nordic country completing my third year at uni now. Never in my life has anything been expected of me. Never in my life have my parents forced me into anything or supported any of my interests in a meaningful way. In my childhood I was very shy so I didn't wish for any hobbies but I wish my parents would have forced me into some. I did really well in my studies but never really had any lasting hobbies as my father was fairly disinterested in paying for them.
Yet, years went on and studies went on with me thinking that I was valued for at least my studies. Yet all the appraisals were just empty words. In high school, my father started disliking me for not working off-semester. At that point I didn't really understand what it was all about. I never felt I wanted money and my father, having good earnings and a uni background, meant to me that we had money and education was valued. Yet, increasingly I was being treated worse for not caring about working or money. All I really wanted to excel in my studies and things I thought were meaningful.
I became increasingly depressed as time went on but I managed to graduate with good grades. After moving away from home, I saw how my siblings disregarded their studies and took part time jobs. They were praised for working and kind of an independence, thing I found meaningless. Somehow the values I had attained during my childhood and youth had ended up being completely different from my siblings'. Over time, my negative thoughts multiplied and I ended up sort of hating my family and most of my relatives. I felt I had been lied to, the things I thought were meaningful to them had been meaningless.
The only things I ever wanted were a sense of belonging, duty, achievement and a passion for something. Now I'm left with only the last one, completely distanced from my family. I still wonder why I had the illusion something was expected of me. It's as if I was born in a wrong family, with a wrong set of values. To someone with controlling parents the way I grew up might seem really great. But I can only wonder why I had to suffer so much.
(I understand this might seem hypocritical as my family did well financially and I was never abused by my parents. But making a comparsion doesn't soothe my pain nor does it erase my past feelings or depression. Thank you for reading.)

I’m currently 17, and I’m a guy. I’ve consistently been through so much since I was a kid, and I’ve been somewhat miserable almost all my life. Not always miserable, but every age group(from elementary then middle school then high school) there was always a major problem. And the problems got worse after each stage of life, and more complicated. And right now I have hit the absolute bottom, where I’m struggling in pretty much all areas of my life, or failing in those areas of my life. Constant failure for months
Now I’ve been dealing with negativity for so long that it doesn’t even scare me anymore. I haven’t been in a relationship yet, but I think about when I might have to break up with her and instead of being scared of relationships, I get curious as to how I’d deal with it, or if I’d be able to deal with it well. If im going into a really hard academic program, like IB, instead of being intimidated by it, I just feel great because I get curious if I’d be able to be on everyone else’s level, or at least the end result being that I’d be smarter than how I was before. For adulthood, instead of being scared of the responsibilities, Im not really worried at all. However, I am worried about my situation that’s happening right now.
But for things in the future, like heartbreak, and adult depression, im not really that scared. And if I’m dealing with something hard, such as my dad leaving, I just decide to not deal with those emotions but push them back because they’d interfere with my work if I fully experience it
I don’t know. I don’t know if this is a bad thing, because I don’t want to feel weird when I actually do become happy, and voluntarily look for negative things so I can try to see how well I could deal with it. I have a feeling that my mindset may be unhealthy, but I’m not sure. So I’m just going to ask people here who are older

I’m currently 17, and I’m a guy. I’ve consistently been through so much since I was a kid, and I’ve been somewhat miserable almost all my life. Not always miserable, but every age group(from elementary then middle school then high school) there was always a major problem. And the problems got worse after each stage of life, and more complicated. And right now I have hit the absolute bottom, where I’m struggling in pretty much all areas of my life, or failing in those areas of my life. Constant failure for months
Now I’ve been dealing with negativity for so long that it doesn’t even scare me anymore. I haven’t been in a relationship yet, but I think about when I might have to break up with her and instead of being scared of relationships, I get curious as to how I’d deal with it, or if I’d be able to deal with it well. If im going into a really hard academic program, like IB, instead of being intimidated by it, I just feel great because I get curious if I’d be able to be on everyone else’s level, or at least the end result being that I’d be smarter than how I was before. For adulthood, instead of being scared of the responsibilities, Im not really worried at all. However, I am worried about my situation that’s happening right now. But for things in the future, like heartbreak, and adult depression, im not really that scared. And if I’m dealing with something hard, such as my dad leaving, I just decide to not deal with those emotions but push them back because they’d interfere with my work if I fully experience it
I don’t know. I don’t know if this is a bad thing, because I don’t want to feel weird when I actually do become happy, and voluntarily look for negative things so I can try to see how well I could deal with it. I have a feeling that my mindset may be unhealthy, but I’m not sure. So I’m just going to ask people here who are older

I’m really trying not to be a downer because I am very excited for the game but I keep going back and forth in my head about pre-ordering the game because I would like to show my support for the 40k community but I’m actually a little shook about Saber Interactive developing this one.
The thing about Saber is they’ve virtually never produced a game that rates above 7/10 and it’s basically a coin flip that they produce games of that caliber at all. A good portion of their library has middling reviews. Well, I’ve played a few in the mid 2000s and 2010s and looking at their development library as a whole the first word that comes to mind is “derivative”. They make games similar to other games of their time but worse, somehow riding on the backs of giants and producing an inferior product with the advantageous foreknowledge of good game design. That’s not a great sign.
Their only real claim to fame is working on the Halo CE Anniversary and Master Chief Collection which definitely were not fan favorites on release but did eventually get much better. How much of that can be attributed to Saber’s involvement, I don’t know because they were part of a larger collective development team working with Microsoft Studios and 343 Industries. In general, they seem to be a company like Rebellion that specializes in porting games over but when it comes to making original/ licensed IPs they make lukewarm games or just kind of drop the ball.
I can tell they’re using some variant of the World War Z engine to pump out large hoardes of Tyranids on screen at one time and while that looks cool I have to wonder how intelligent the AI actually are because the AI in WWZ was not impressive and the enemy variety was sorely lacking. How much of that is lack of creativity versus engine limitations is kind of what I’m curious and worried about. I’ve also noticed in the 30 minute gameplay demo video they posted that a large portion of the game is combat-interrupting cutscenes/ setpieces. It seems like 5 minutes of fighting consistently gets interrupted by 3 more minutes of cutscene dialogue or forcefully panning the camera over to a point of interest. I felt like SM1 did a pretty good job of letting the levels run their course and maybe having a cutscene or 2. Don’t get me wrong, SM2 looks absolutely gorgeous but I almost think the devs feel that forcing the player to stop and gawk at the marvel they’ve created is somehow enriching the gameplay. It feels a lot more like dopamine edging by having these intense playable moments and completely turning off the adrenaline by having Titus gaze at some large structure or ship overhead collapsing, or having the crew stop to converse with some besieged Guardsman unit. Leave it up to the individual agency of the players to stop and gaze in wild wonder if that’s something they appreciate but otherwise keep your foot on the gas I’d say. What makes games intense is that they often don’t let up. The demo was just a bunch of tension and release in quick succession and I honestly was hoping more for a game with pacing like DOOM Eternal/ WH40K Boltgun. I know this game is not a boomer shooter but I’d like there to be good rhythm and pacing. I’d trade high octane co-op gameplay over visually/ technically impressive sightseeing any day.
I also noticed the game seems to feature the same linearity of SM1, which if I have one gripe about SM1, it is definitely that the game is practically an “on-rails” experience. There is very little in the way of freedom of exploration and almost all the “hidden” servitors and ammo caches were in painfully obvious places because they were often in the only other place the game would allow you to explore. It would be nice to be able to take divergent paths in levels or have larger arena style combat areas with rewards and secrets strewn about. Put a gun in a far-off artillery crater or stash a mounted gun up in bunkers that you can rip off the mount like in SM1. Also I would like secrets to be a little more thought out and rewarding. SM1 rarely utilized using melee weapons to break away barricades exposing secret areas and never utilized switches or levers to open secret pathways. Verticality was also sparsely used not only in general but definitely for the sake of hiding a secret way up top somewhere. I don’t know exactly what I expect from this I just mean to say I would want the levels opened up a little bit, and for rewards to be in places for players willing to take the time to find them. It would also be nice to have narrative setpieces that tell a story in secret areas like the Fallout Universe does. Let a secret path lead us to a scene of carnage or a tragedy or maybe even an ambush. So far we haven’t seen any of that.
I’m not writing off the game just yet but I would really like to be proven wrong about some of the things I noticed from the gameplay video. It’s hard to be excited in the age of modern gaming especially when we talk about preorders. I’d honestly like them to talk more about the beta key distribution date. I don’t even necessarily need to play the beta personally, but it would be nice to see a little more gameplay in the form of a single complete mission from start to finish.
What are your guys’ thoughts? Am I just being a pessimist? What concerns do you have? Are you guys excited? Am I worrying about nothing? I’d love to hear your feedback.

1. I want to start by discussing the "colonizer" narrative. By definition, colonizers are a group of aggressors sent from an immensely powerful nation to forcefully settle one they have no claim to currently. In the case of Israel, Jewish people had occupied what is today Iran, Iraq and Israel for millennia. When what is now Iran (and much, much later the state of Iraq) formed governments hostile to Jewish people, they ended up in Israel because it was the last place Jewish people had already settled for them to go. The "colonizer" narrative is either uneducated or a willful ignorance made possible because of intolerance for Jews.
2. The voices who are the driving thrust behind wanting to bring down Israel as a state, and the people who are the driving thrust of anti-Semitism are the same people. Half a decade ago, when I was at a large, prestigious university in the Northeast, I heard very pathetic neo-Nazi types rail on, saying the most heinous things about Jews and Israel at the free speech wall. Today, I hear those same talking points at high school and college graduation demonstrations, and even on major news network broadcasts. I have to admit - I probably did not think we could sink this low as a nation.
3. Israel is one of the few legitimate nations in the region, meeting all the major tests of a legitimate state. They have defended their territory and won it from belligerent offensive forces several times. They have been recognized by all relevant international trade and cooperative organizations. They have a Declaration of Independence that was not, and is not, successfully contested. In real terms, the only other nations that satisfy these main tests in the Middle East are Turkey and the UAE. Iran meets some (but not all). All of the rest are, objectively, completely illegitimate nation-states drawn on a map by true Western colonizers with no real regard for cultural or ideological differences. They don't truly satisfy the tests for a legitimate nation. Pakistan, Iraq and Libya in particular must be fully dismantled before we can even begin to question the legitimacy of any of (Israel, Turkey or the UAE).
4. Not withstanding 1-3, aligning yourself with neo-Nazis, Islamic extremists and terrorist organizations on issues of great importance will not age well. When you are a US citizen and the Israeli government isn't even in your circle of influence, you are effectively shouting at trees on Israeli vs Gaza relations. Given this is the case, one has to wonder why a person would dare be overheard shouting such offensive things at trees in public - whether it be from a lack of education/awareness or true anti-Semitism.

My view is that we have to stop platforming and accommodating this. People can shout at their trees all kinds of heinous things. But that does not mean we should televise it or dignify it with a response. To be clear, people are free to say uneducated or offensive things. But my view is that people are being given platforms or holding onto platforms to spew ignorance and hate when they should not be able to do so - and that is something we can fix quickly and completely by not meeting these people where they are. We can refuse to engage with people when they are very uneducated or hate-filled - and force them to rise to our level if they wish to have a platform.

Almost 30. Used to be very ambitious, and was a high achiever until last year when I quit my high paying tech job with no plan. Despite all my hard work to get there I couldn’t believe how miserable I was.
I’ve blown through almost all my savings at this point. My plan was to commit s*icide when I ran out of money, but a past girlfriend came back into my life unexpectedly, and I suddenly feel like I have at least something to live for, at least for now.
I’ve been trying to find work again, but there’s nothing out there whatsoever. I have no motivation or interest in anything. I’ve been looking for jobs doing what I was doing before, at least for a little bit of money to keep me alive. I’m sure long term I’d get burnt out again but what once seemed like an obvious point for me to embrace death is now scaring me a bit.
I don’t have any motivation whatsoever to learn a new skill. I never liked my career in the first place. I still have it in the back of my mind that I can end things if it gets to bad, but I’m looking for advice to try and force myself to try something new. I can’t go back to school or pay for any sort of certification right now. Feels like it’s over.

Boyfriend often calls me names, belittles me when I make mistakes instead of supporting me, and sexualise me in demeaning ways.
For exemple, during arguments, he may grope my breast while reciting what sounds like a pornographic horror movie.
« You like it you slut ? Isn’t that all you want? Say it, repeat after me; I. am. a. slut. »
It never fails to disgust me when he takes his penis out, and forces it onto my face. But don’t worry guys, he has a good reason; I speak badly to him. Since I disrespected him, then why should he bother respecting me?
(Although, what is even more disgusting is probably my longing for a little apology, a little word, a little something. I fool myself each time hoping it’ll come.)
Intimacy just isn’t what it used to be. No kissing, no touching, no foreplay, it’s like his love is gone, like he doesn’t care about bounding with me anymore. We still do it daily, but the pleasure is systematically focused on him. I used to want him all the time, and now, it’s like I forgot sex even exist. Back when my libido was high, he would mockingly call me a nymphomaniac, each time I initiated. It might sound playful, but in his book, a promiscuous woman is a worthless woman. When asked to stop, he innocently says that he’s just teasing me, and that i’m a bit susceptible. Playing it cool. Playing the fools.
Still to this day, even though I now rarely initiate, whenever I show interest in lovemaking, it’s like he can’t contain himself from faking exaggerated interest in a very obvious way, while groping me and saying the same kind of things. Shouting sillily that I love dicks too much. Kissing me willingly in a gross manner. I’ll spare the rest to your imagination. There’s too much to say.
He also teases me daily by singing my name, my old usernames, my family name, and even my mom's name, which makes me feel kind of harassed. Especially when I’m in the middle of/just done cooking dinner for him, cleaning his apartment, or doing any task for him.
(I basically assist him in everything he does.)
For example, anytime he wants an item, he just asks me to go grab it instead of ever standing up. I roll everything he smokes and he smokes a lot. He said it’d be nice if he learned how to do it himself. I'm always ready to teach him, but he hasn't taken it seriously once yet. I cook whenever he’s hungry, which is often at 3AM these days. I force myself not to sleep for hours each days so we can fall asleep cuddling together, often being promised to sleep soon at 2AM, only to end up in the kitchen at 3AM, and be told at 6AM that it’s not worth sleeping anymore, so you can go sleep and I’ll stay a bit more on the computer, alright ? I’m then the annoying one for pointing out his lack of reliability.
Due to that, we often wake up at noon, and he never miss on saying he woke up too late and the day is kind of ruined because I didn’t wake him up earlier. Which is absolutely false, as I serve him as the best alarm clock ever, coming in his bed every 20 minutes, cuddling and kissing his forehead gently, telling him to please wake up. But I can’t force him to. I don’t understand why he’d be upset I’m awake since 5PM and he only is since 9PM because of his own difficulty to wake up.
Anyway. If I dare being lazy or show reluctance to his requests, he’ll jokingly call me useless or be a little upset, saying i’m being mean to him. Truth is, i’d happily do it all, if he wasn’t so inconsiderate all the time. I love him so much, so I do it still, but quite unhappily.
These behaviours upset me, not usually to the point of actually starting fights, but rather retreat and cry on my own. He never reaches out to apologize.
When I retreat, the only kind of attention he gives at this point is rather sad. It consists of messages mockingly asking if I left to cry, if I’m smoking all his weed, sometimes he likes to bring out of the blue some old arguments we had, and other times he prefers to send memes, but it’s never complete without the massive amount of emoji he uses to usually indicate he is clowning me and we’re not having any serious discussion. Oh, and if I dare ignore him, then I’m a pathetic bitch. Even when I remove myself, he take offence of it, says I’m being mean, and that I should apologize for abandoning him.
I don’t tolerate his behaviour in the sense that I voice my discomfort every time. Every single things listed here, he knows bother me, because I always speak up. But in the end, he’s never apologetic when he should be. And I’m still here, next to him, like nothing happened. Days after days.
He never says « I’m sorry I’ve hurt you » and just hugs me. I crave that. I crave the simplest apology. « I’ve been too far » I can only wish.
Everytime these behaviours occurred, I’ve let him know that I dislike it, that the disrespect hurts. But it just keeps going on. This is my everyday.
How can I effectively communicate the depth of his hurtful actions and their impact on our relationship?
To the people who have dealt with a similar situation, what have you done that bettered the situation? I know I will mostly read it’s a lost cause, as people on this subreddit seems to mainly seek the courage to leave their abusive person. But that’s not my case. I don’t plan on leaving. I love him with all my heart but I wish his behaviour would ceases.
I wish he realised he is constantly disrupting my mental well-being. I wish he realised I’m slowly losing my spark. I wish he realised close to nothing he does benefits us. I wish he realised he could be a better partner. I wish he realised he would hate dating himself. I wish he realised he’s hurting his baby mama. I wish he realised he’s eroding my self-esteem. I wish he realise he is traumatising me.

On my last post, many people were accusing me of lying, accusing me of trolling, and saying I’m underpaid (some mockingly saying I wasn’t underpaid, I was just dumb, so I deserved a low paying job). I disagree with how this community discusses ME pay and payscales, it creates drastically out of touch expectations, ME is not a high paying career path and is on the middle/lower end for white collar careers.
Data: https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Mechanical_EngineeSalary
Case studies: 30 year old mechanical engineer that makes $90,000 after 8 YOE and 3 job hops: https://www.reddit.com/Salary/s/tCCK3bzTRY
30 year old industrial engineer that makes $84,000 after 8 YOE: https://www.reddit.com/Salary/s/4tHC6CECrZ
Mech E that graduated college in 2015 and makes 88k in 2024: https://www.reddit.com/Salary/s/Seba5jNAcN
Again, this is not a high paying career path. This is a career path people do out of passion, there’s a reason that people that get this degree and want to make good money have to go back to school and get an MBA, it’s not because they had tons of options for high paying jobs as an engineer, that is the opposite is reality. This job will pay the bills as a single guy/girl and leave a bit left over, it will not be enough for a family.
I understand this angers some of you but I hate when the stuff I read on here is completely misleading to those that are interested in the field every time money comes up. Myself and all my friends I graduated with did good in school, had internships, joined engineering clubs, we make less than everyone else we know that got degrees in business or healthcare related fields.
If you want to make over six figures, this is not the career to do it. Generally speaking it’s possible but you’ll be well into your 30s and you’ll have endured a lot of stress to get there. This is not a career for making money, it’s a career for those that are passionate about engineering.

Basic plot line is girl moves with her father? to outpost mine on different planet where workers begin to be infected and zombified by virus from the mine. Zombies are super zombies, much strongefastetougher than regular humans. She signals for help, avoids infection, and escapes with a guy who is infected but can control it. After escaping they are captured by containment people.
Read it during middle school/high school and it was appropriate for the age range. Some romantic elements, but nothing spicy.

So, I have lost all my friends. I had guy friends all the way up from Elementary school to high school and a couple years after high school. And I made a new friend last year in May. And she was the bestest friend I’ve ever had and is a person that I care so much about. And last year in October, I lost all my guy friends from school because they didn’t like that I was friends with this new girl. So she was the only friend that I had. But i didn’t mind because she was the only person that I cared about. But I didn’t tell her that I lost my guy friends until like a month later because I didn’t want her to think that she was a problem. But when I told her, she said she was disappointed in me and said that I should have told her sooner. And that she lost my trust because I withheld information from her. So we didn’t talk for a few days. But I tried to get back in contact with her to tell her I’m sorry and I should have told her. Eventually we did become friends again and we’ve been friends since. But recently, she exited out of my life again saying she didn’t want to be friends with me because of the time I withheld information from her all the way back in November. She says she still doesn’t trust me and that and doesn’t believe anything I say. It’s so weird because this came out of nowhere. She would plan stuff for us to do in the summer and plan stuff for our future. And she’s told me before that she cares about me and that I’m important to her. And I’ve said the same to her. But out of the blue, she got all weird and was saying that she doesn’t want to be friends with me or talk to me and how she doesn’t feel anything when she’s with me - that I have no affect over her.
She was my bestest friend. The only person that I cared about and the only person to make me feel this type of way about someone. And now she wants nothing to do with me.
So now I have no friends and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been good at making friends and I’m not really good with communication skills. I was so lucky to have found her because she was actually interested in me which I thought could never happen.
I don’t know. I just came here to vent. Sorry, this was a rather longer post.

(24F) From winning academic competitions in high school, to ranking 11th in a class of 1000 without trying (felt like a sham), to scoring a 1510 on my SAT with a vague idea of what would be on it prior to sitting, to graduating magna cum laude with a B.S. in mathematics, minors in French and economics, and research and leadership roles under my belt (while balancing a bad 🍃 habit), etc., I can confidently say that academic success came with ease. I’ve been working to save up for grad school. Thus far, I’m doing well in my job. I’m taking on new projects, all of which lie outside of my immediate job description. I’m taking over the roles of my superiors when they’re out. Good stuff.
But OH MY GOD. Off paper, I’m a mess. Typing this out, I see 7 fast food bags from the past couple of months sitting in my immediate vicinity. Grocery bags litter the floor. There’s a month + old tortilla chip bag right in front of me. I’m not sure when I last showered. I have months of unopened mail piling up on my table. Dirty dishes get reused throughout the week. I don’t eat nearly enough. The only things I’m good about doing habitually are brushing my teeth, flossing, and doing laundry. I have been struggling to study for exam FM (sitting in august) because I don’t find it interesting. I am supposed to be studying in the small amount of free time I have before and after work (or cleaning, quite frankly), but I’ve been writing a blog about the American tendency toward political extremism in recent years.
I was diagnosed at 21, and recently resumed medication (took me 1.5 years to see a doctor). With medication, studying has become easier, and I can SEE all of my immediate issues with cleanliness. But I can’t force myself to DO anything about it. I was told I’d be a lawyer, engineer, doctor, etc., but I’m living like a guy who spends all of his time on 4chan and pisses in Mountain Dew bottles.
Please tell me I’m not alone.

Introduction

Pickleball has surged in popularity recently, increasing the demand for high-quality paddles. The manufacturing process significantly impacts paddle performance, with two common methods being hot press and cold press. Each technique has its own advantages and drawbacks, influencing the paddle's overall quality and characteristics. This article explores the differences between hot press and cold press manufacturing in pickleball paddles.
​

Hot Press Manufacturing

Hot press manufacturing uses heat and pressure to bond the materials in paddle construction. Manufacturers use a mold to shape the paddle while applying heat and pressure, which activates the adhesives and ensures a strong bond between the layers. This process produces durable and uniform paddles with consistent performance.
​
Advantages of Hot Press Manufacturing:

• Strong Bonding: Heat application ensures a strong bond between material layers, enhancing the paddle's durability and longevity, and offering reliable quality.
• Consistency: Hot press manufacturing results in paddles with uniform weight distribution and performance characteristics, providing players with dependable performance.
• Customization: Manufacturers can incorporate various materials and design elements while maintaining structural integrity, allowing customization to meet different player preferences.

​
Disadvantages of Hot Press Manufacturing:

• Cost: The equipment and energy required for hot press manufacturing are expensive, leading to higher production costs compared to cold press methods.
• Time-consuming: The process of heating and pressing paddles takes time, which can affect production efficiency and lead times.
• Limited Flexibility: Hot press manufacturing may restrict design changes during production, making it less suitable for rapid prototyping or experimentation.

​

Cold Press Manufacturing

Cold press manufacturing, or compression molding, uses pressure without heat to bond material layers. Hydraulic presses compress the materials into the desired shape. This method is favored for its simplicity and cost-effectiveness.
​
Advantages of Cold Press Manufacturing:

• Cost-effective: Requires less energy and equipment than hot press methods, resulting in lower production costs.
• Quick Turnaround: Without heating, the process is faster, allowing for quicker production times.
• Flexibility: Offers greater flexibility for design modifications and experimentation, making it suitable for prototyping and customization.

​
Disadvantages of Cold Press Manufacturing:

• Weaker Bonding: Without heat, the bonding between material layers may not be as strong, potentially affecting durability and performance.
• Inconsistent Results: May result in variations in weight distribution and performance characteristics, leading to inconsistency in player experience.
• Limited Material Compatibility: Some materials may not bond effectively under cold press conditions, limiting material choices for paddle construction.

​

Conclusion

Both hot press and cold press manufacturing methods are essential in producing pickleball paddles, each with distinct advantages and disadvantages. Hot press manufacturing ensures strong bonding and consistency but is more costly and less flexible. Cold press manufacturing is more cost-effective and flexible but may result in weaker bonding and inconsistent results.
For those interested in experiencing both methods, we recommend trying Fyful's range of hot-pressed and cold-pressed pickleball paddles. Each type offers unique benefits, allowing players to choose the paddle that best suits their playing style and enhances their game. As the pickleball industry evolves, manufacturers continue to innovate paddle design and performance. Whether you choose cold press or hot press, select a paddle that prioritizes performance and comfort to optimize your play and enjoyment on the court.

Mother’s Day was terrible. I don’t know why I’m updating this. Maybe it’s for the few people can sympathize.
A lot of the prior comments made untrue, horrible accusations about my wife.
My wife was never abusive or even mean, not in any state. It makes it so much harder to understand why our daughter would be so cold to her own mother.
My wife’s mental state before the accident had regressed into childlike behavior, which is concerning but not the cause of my daughter’s coldness. My wife would spit food out back into her plate, bluntly say it tasted bad and the wipe her nose with her sleeve like a child. I made the error of thinking she was having a midlife crisis because she bought an expensive dress because it was soft. She would forget to do things, her responsibilities.
Mother and daughter clashed because she would tell stories with no beginning and end, just rambling. She would ask the same questions over and over. She would promise to pick her up or bring something and forget. Things that would annoy a teenage girl.
The tumor were concentrated in the back of the head. When she got into the car accident, it made everything worse. She needed to relearn everything. She is still disabled.
We had high expectations for our daughter but she set them higher for herself. She had a dream school, where she wanted to go since she was 12. It meant that I had to chauffeur to so many activities throughout high school and sacrifice a lot to make sure she got the opportunities she wanted.
It meant leaving my disabled wife in a longer term care facility to hopefully recover. It was Covid so there were long stretches where we didn’t visit her.
When she came home, my wife was still largely nonverbal and wheelchair bound. She needed help with everything from eating to going to the bathroom. I earned a little as a caregiver on top of my regular job.
My daughter was so cruel and cold to her mother at that time. She would hate if her mother came outside with her and would later blame it on the wheelchair, saying it was bulky and attracted attention. She would ignore her mother and moved away to distance herself physically. I ended up getting a call from the school because a classmate had overheard what she said about her mother and reported it as ableism. I don’t know what she said. All I know is that she was very cruel to her mother.
I had her in individual therapy and we did therapy as father and daughter. It was her choice to stop.
My daughter ended up getting into her dream college. They had an accepted students weekend and she demanded that her mother stay home even though parents were invited. By that time my wife had made leaps and bounds in progress and was disappointed to stay home. I went and tried to be a proud father. At least she let her mother go to graduation.
My daughter came home a few days ago. Her exams were earlier. She informed us that she earned a research position with a professor for the summer. My wife was overjoyed, writing a card all on her own about how proud she was and she wished she saw her daughter grow into accomplished young woman. How proud she was to share this moment. My daughter looked sick with guilt. I know what that looks like.
On Mother’s Day, I made a comment that she couldn’t ignore her mother today. She told me to stop saying that. I made another comment about how proud her mother was of her and how much she loved her. I was doing it on purpose. It ended up with her saying she regretted what she did. I always had my suspicions. I interrogated her until she tearfully admitted she hated what her mother had turned into and she hit her mother once and she was ashamed to be around her because of what people thought. We got into a shouting match and she yelled at me that I was so focused on everyone else’s behavior because I regretted my own.
It’s true in a lot of ways. Because of Covid, there were limited visiting hours. But I still didn’t visit as much as I should have. I left my wife in a facility to focus on our daughter but also so that it would be easier for me. There are no siblings, no grandparents to help. I didn’t visit as much because I hated how much my wife would sob when I had to leave.
I started feeling guiltier when I read a news article about a nurse being sentenced for assaulting a woman in a coma. I thought about my wife. She was nonverbal, had limited short term memory, and wheelchair bound. I wouldn’t know what would happen. I tried to convince myself that it was fine but all I did was find more and more news articles about abuse at care facilities. I would have nightmares.
I pulled my wife out. I took months of work. I finally got her home. She was taken care of but not like I would have. There were a few knots in her hair, bruising, sores.
I won’t lie, the care was brutal. Now I had to juggle taking care of my wife and making sure my daughter was supported and able to reach her dreams. And it was hard seeing my wife like that. She was accomplished and intelligent and now couldn’t do a puzzle or eat on her own or go to the bathroom by herself. There was a huge learning curve and they assigned a nurse to come see my wife every few days.
My wife is so sweet. I attend a caregivers support group and I feel guilty because my wife doesn’t have the fits of temper or the rage or the depression that others did. I felt guilty for being tired. Some had it a lot harder than I did.
She got better and over time it was like she was almost back to her old self. And she never lost love for either of us. it hurts that she blames herself for how our daughter treated her. Maybe I shouldn’t have let my daughter focus on prestige and appearance so much, maybe I should’ve realized the signs early on and exposed her to others.
My daughter and aren’t speaking. My wife just wanted a happy family. I’m looking for therapy for us as a family.

I was looking at the comments and the Girls Never Die music video on youtube and was really interested reading the english translations from all of the Korean comments. Many were recounting how the song gave them strength amidst depression.
Others were contrasting how New Jeans portrays adolescence in Ditto vs tripleS in Girls Never Cry. I feel like they see Ditto capturing a nostalgic and playful view of youth, full of carefree moments with friends. Whereas, "Girls Never Die" dives into the more complex and often harsh realities of growing up, portraying themes of struggle, resilience, and the determination to keep going despite hardships.
Not trying to start a fanwar but just an interesting topic. It is interesting because even though most of the Ditto music video involved friends dancing with each other, the ending is definitely darker.
Overall, I'm glad tripleS is being appreciated for their artistry and it's incredible that the lyrics are resonating so strongly with Koreans.
Some of the comments:

• "누군가의 10대는 화려했겠지만, 또 누군가는 암울한 과거였을 것이다. 트리플에스는 저마다 가지고 있는 어두운 시절을 이 노래로 위로해준다."
  • "Someone's teenage years might have been glamorous, but for others, it was a dark past. TripleS comforts each person's dark times with this song."
• "뉴진스는 화목한 가정에서 자란 10대 느낌이라면 트리플에스는 가정환경 불행한 10대아이들이 서로 의지하면서 살아가는느낌,,, 둘다 좋음ㅠㅠㅠㅠ"
  • "NewJeans gives the feeling of teenagers growing up in a harmonious family, while TripleS feels like teenagers with unhappy family environments who rely on each other to live... Both are goodㅠㅠㅠㅠ"
• "그래 모두의 학창시절이 디토는 아니잖아 다시해보자"
  • "That's right, not everyone's school days are like 'Ditto'. Let's try again." (Lyric from the song)
• "우울증 진단은 6년 전 약 먹기 시작한건 4년 전인 06인데 온갖거 다했어요 살고싶지 않다가 아니라 자살이 너무 하고싶었는데 사람들 다 힘든데 제 시신 치울 사람들 생각하니까 갑자기 죽을 정도의 사고가 나기를 계속 바랬어요. '다시 해볼까' 라는 말에 공감은 되지 않지만 뮤비랑 음원을 계속 보고 듣게 돼요. 아직 살 힘이 남았나봐요 감사합니다 불완전한 청춘을 눈으로 볼 수 있게 해주셔서."
  • "I was diagnosed with depression 6 years ago and started medication 4 years ago in '06. I've tried everything. It wasn't that I didn't want to live, but I really wanted to commit suicide. But thinking about people who would have to deal with my body made me constantly hope for an accident that would kill me. The words 'Shall we try again' don’t resonate with me, but I keep watching the music video and listening to the song. I guess I still have some strength left to live. Thank you for showing the imperfect youth."
• "아무리 나이를 먹어도 상처받았던 10대 소녀가 그대로 어딘가에 잠들어 있는 사람도 많겠죠? 제가 그런 사람이예요 오래전 좌절했던 소녀였던 저는 다 극복해내지 못한채 겉만 어른이 된지가 소녀였던 시절보다 더 길어졌네요 그시절의 저를 위로해줘서 고마워요"
  • "No matter how old we get, there are many people who still have the hurt teenage girl inside them somewhere, right? I am one of those people. I was a girl who was frustrated a long time ago, and I haven't overcome it all, so I've been an adult on the outside longer than I was a girl. Thank you for comforting that girl from those days."
• "이제 곧 30대인데 왜 뮤비보면서 울고있냐 얼마전 우울증 판정받고 많은 위로를 받았어요 감사합니다"
  • "I'm almost in my 30s, so why am I crying while watching this music video? I was recently diagnosed with depression and received a lot of comfort. Thank you."
• "아..진짜 댓글이 뮤비를 완성하네 눈물 나온다 '다시 해볼까' '끝까지 가볼래 포기는 안할래'... 맘먹은거 어케 알고 이시기에 딱 나왔는지.. 청춘 드라마 뉴진스 감성 보면 내가 아는 현실과는 너무 달라서 이질감?이 들었는데 이 노래, 뮤비는 왜이리 좋은건지.. 과거는 잊고 다시 해봐야지 진짜 꼭 쓰러져도 일어나..."
  • "The comments really complete the music video, bringing tears to my eyes. 'Shall we try again', 'I’ll go to the end, I won’t give up'... How did they know what I was feeling and release this at the right time... When I watch youth dramas or NewJeans's vibes, it feels so different from the reality I know, almost alien? But why do I love this song and music video so much... I must forget the past and try again, really, even if I fall down, get back up."
• "제네리이션때부터 느꼈던 뉴진스랑 반대의 10대 감성... 맞아 10대시절이 항상 밝고 힘차지만은 않아 오히려 가장 고민많고 별거아닌거에 상처받고 할 나이였지 누군가의 어린시절은 뉴진스였겠지만 나 포함 누군가는 트리플에스야 정말 땅에 쳐박히는듯이 괴롭고 몸부림치다가도 그래도 다시해보자 하고 버텼으니 지금 이 노래를 듣는거고... 끝까지 가볼래 포기는 안 할래 난."
  • "From Generation to now, the opposite of NewJeans's teenage emotions... That's right, teenage years aren't always bright and energetic. It's actually the time when you worry the most and get hurt over trivial things. Someone's childhood might have been like NewJeans, but for me and some others, it's TripleS. Really struggling and suffering as if being pushed to the ground, but still deciding to try again and enduring, so I'm listening to this song now... I'll go to the end, I won't give up."
• "타돌들이 팔려는 여자 아이돌의 10대 20대는 제작자의 시선으로 물들어져 있음. 싱그러움, 10대의 장난기, 귀여움, 청순함 때로는 로리타. 근데 트리플에스는 데뷔때부터 늘 10대, 20대의 여성의 시선에서 그렇게 마냥 싱그럽고 귀엽지만은 않은 위태로움, 불안함과 그럼에도 불구하고 어떻게든 살아보려는 그 청춘의 현실감을 보여줌. 그렇게 주소비층의 공감을 이끌어내면서도 노래 퀄이랑 뮤비 퀄 컨셉 퀄 다 챙김. 얘넨 진짜 그냥 그런 다인원 그룹이 아님. 프로듀싱이 미쳤고 진짜 잘됐으면 좋겠다."
  • "The teenage and twenties female idols that other groups try to sell are tinted with the producer's perspective: freshness, teenage mischief, cuteness, purity, sometimes Lolita. But TripleS, from their debut, has always shown the precariousness, anxiety, and yet the reality of youth trying to live somehow from the perspective of teenage and twenties women. They draw empathy from their main audience while maintaining high quality in their music, music videos, and concepts. They're really not just another large group. The producing is crazy good, and I really hope they succeed."

I'm autistic and recently learnt that getting a service dog wasn't a lengthy legal process for only a few disabilities, but for all disabilities, that you can owner train, and is mainly up to you. While learning about this I also discovered that there are a few tasks that would actually be helpful for me such as deep pressure therapy (I actually really needed this earlier today when I got overstimulated in class and had to leave the room), blocking, and light guiding when I'm too overwhelmed to think properly; also finding people like my parents since I tend to lose them in stores but that one isn't too big of a deal.
I stumbled upon all this while doing research for a normal pet dog, since February around this time I've been lowkey obsessed and have researched and taken notes on everything related to a dog I could find in preparation for hopefully getting a dog when summer break starts if I can get my dad to agree to it; but now I'm at a bit of an impasse.
While looking for specifically other autistic teen service dog handlers to get advice from, I've also learnt that it's not a good idea to get a service dog as a teen, that owner trained dogs are much more likely to wash out, and more of an idea on the cons. I don't know if this is unpopular, but I like to get my information on more opinion-oriented topics from actual people and not articles, not to say that I don't read articles and stuff but hearing it from a person is just a lot easier for me to understand if that makes sense. I was already aware of most of the cons, but they were only amplified and made more real here.
So, the point of this all is that I do want a dog but is it good or bad to train her to be a service dog too? On one hand she could help me, and I am in therapy, on meds, have accommodations, and stuff like fidgets and loop earbuds and other tools like that. I do really feel like a service dog, a constant companion, would be good for me; all my life I've looked for the endless love I give others and a dog who could be with me everywhere while helping me not get overwhelmed or overstimulated and calm down sounds absolutely wonderful. On the other hand, the personal testimonies I love so much say that it's a bad idea and that it can stunt my growth. I have thought about getting a program dog but that'd take years, I'd definitely be on my way or in college by then but I do still want a dog. I can't decide which is more important to me because in my mind there's one perfect path, but I know life doesn't work that way. I want to be able to do dog sports as well. I want a service dog, but I also want a pet and I don't know which is more important to focus on, if my owner-trained dog washes out it's not the end of the world and we can still do normal things together but I haven't seen any program service dogs be made into sport dogs so I don't even know if anyone really does that.
What if my self-soothing is stunted? Life can be whatever you make it so does it really matter? How do I decide between a guaranteed service dog that takes time or a pet that I can do multiple things with and train on my own but with a high chance of failing? I'm sorry if I don't make much sense, the point of this post is to get outside perspectives to try to make sense of my thoughts.
At the end of the day, I have CAPE testing next week so I should really start studying lol
EDIT: I already told my parents about training the maybe-future puppy to be a service dog and my mom was just worried on if I was capable of that while my dad says that he doesn't want me to rely on the dog and use it as a crutch, then he tried to schedule an appointment with my therapist for Wednesday. Which I don't get because I see her every other Wednesday while we're in the middle of transitioning to another therapist (who actually mainly works with autistic teens yay) and should be seeing her tomorrow anyways. (Another edit): also she'd work more on the part-time side if that adds anything important

Im 19, sophomore at a small university and interested in buying a car. I currently have a 09 car that can be used as a trade in. I have 22k saved up, over the years of high school and am looking in a car that is a 2017 Chevolret Trax with 40,000 miles on it. I like this car because it of the gas mileage, and the reliable-ness of the vehicle. I was thinking I would put 4,000 down and pay monthly on the rest. Should I put more money down than 4 thousand with the savings? I need advice on how to move forward, I also have a steady job throughout summer and college so saving income is not very hard for me.

AI music is oft regarded as being soulless as everything is highly automated. But if you asked me what my level of interest in song writing was prior to joining Udio, I would have said none. A mere week later, I’m drilling Chatgpt for boiler plate stanzas, tweaking them to be less generic with more evocative wording, consistent meter, better rhymes, and starting to delve into song plans- the arcs of story that add dynamics. That’s not click the button and get a song, that’s old school lyric craft. Not so mindless after all.
Is your experience similar?

Hello everyone, my name is Michael. I'm a grad student and DM from the US who is looking for a third player in a party. We are currently in need of a human fighter, barbarian, or paladin. This is a new campaign that has not been started, so you will not be missing out on anything. We will play on Sundays at approximately 6pm EST starting this Sunday (May 19th). I highly prefer players who are willing and able to use video. We will be using 5e dnd rules with some minor modifications.
I have a homebrew setting already built out that I have used for previous one shots and campaigns. This setting is very very loosely based on late middle ages Europe and the Middle East, and it is primarily centered around human characters/civilizations with some hill and mountain dwarves spread out over the region. The region, called Messoria, has a moderate amount of magic, so you can find cool potions or even some basic (but expensive) magic weapons in a magic shop, but there aren't ancient dragons in every forest or level 20 wizards roaming around in the streets. There are many different empires, kingdoms, and city-states, with wars being waged as a matter of course. External threats are also abundant with barbarian raiders, greenskins, undead, and even a drow invasion force all looking to impose their will on the land. On top of this there are your usual secret societies, multinational corporations, religious organizations, and criminal syndicates. With so many groups, incentives, goals, and dreams clashing in one region the opportunities for a unique and exciting adventure are many.
Here is the plot: You are an inhabitant of the Old Eastern Woods and a worshiper of the old nature god Trantis. As you are traveling home from a raid against an encroaching neighboring empire you receive a vision from Trantis himself telling you that you must travel deep into foreign lands and steal a weapon that could be used to kill one of the gods of the foreign invaders. If this god can be killed then the invasions and encroachments would be ended. Your objective is to find this weapon and bring it back to your homeland. While on this mission you will have to blend in with the locals and protect yourself from hostile clerics, enemy agents, and even ordinary people who would likely see you as barbarians and heretics. This idea would be interesting because you can play ‘good’ characters who would be in more traditionally ‘evil’ roles.
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