Hat scarf with ears

Some background info: grew up without father and with a neglectful mother who did not have time for me because of my younger sibling with disabilities.
I was diagnosed with bdd a couple months ago. Ive had bdd since i was a young kid. It started with my ears. My ears are protruding and big. I was called monkey a few times growing up and of course i would agree with them. I started to grow my hair long to cover them and i also wore alot of hats to cover them(still obsessively wears hats). I noticed a girl in class who got her ears fixed and i got a bit jealous. I wish my mother would have taken my concerns seriously as it would have spared me ALOT of anxiety. Ear surgery is free in my country if u are a child and it bothers you.
Anyway, i broke my nose when i was 10 playing football. This didnt bother me too much as i had a small kids nose then, but when puberty came it grew bigger and it was now big and noticable crooked. This became my new obsession. I already had a poor self image and this really broke my spirit.
My teenage years and 20s were full of avoidance and anxiety. No pictures of myself, no instagram etc. I never opened up to anyone. I was too ashamed. I knew i had body dysmorphia but it was too shameful to admit. I also hate to talk about my apparence.
Body dysmorphia is an incredible lonely disorder. It strips away ur fundamental need of connecting with people and isolates you. Ive been through periods of extreme depression and loneliness. I still have almost daily suicidal thoughts. Bdd is usually accompanied by trauma aswell. In my case emotional neglect, abandonment and bullying. I have always had the thought that one day i would kill myself. It was the conclusion i came to. However i am realizing that i dont have it in me. It would destroy my brothers.
So now i am trying therapy. It hasnt helped much yet but hopefully it will and i will learn to accept my disfigured face.
I somehow did manage to have a girlfriend for a few years but that is a while ago.
Some things i do Frequent mirror checking or avoiding mirrors. Wear hat or caps to hide my face. Avoid jobs that require interacting with too many people. Stuck in bad jobs. Avoid social events, parties, dating Dissociate through gaming, youtube, shows etc. Chronic people pleaser Struggle with emotions. Very intense and unpredictable Unstable sense of self
Anyways That is my story, i wish i had gotten help earlier. My brain is fully developed now and its harder to rewrite my thoughts.
So if you are young, please get help as soon as you can. I wish i wouldve swallowed my pride and be more honest with my doctor.

It started when I was driving down a backroad and I see blue lights behind me. I immediately panic and gas it to over 100 mph, throwing shit out the window, rigs, a half Oz, scales, everything. The blue lights are gaining on me so I hit a dirt road, going insane speeds down this bumpy ass road, eventually, I realize I've rode the back tires off of the vehicle, so I jump out and hit the woods. I see the lights approaching and see flashlights coming into the woods, mind you it's pitch black and it's in a marshy, real rugged terrain, I'm running full speed doing flips and shot over hills and running into shot and the flash lights are coming up on me, and they're getting closer and closer and I am thinking fuck I am about to go to jail. They come up on me and everything goes black.
I wake up not knowing how long I've been laying there and I feel like I've been shot in the chest with a shotgun, I can't move my body and I think I'm dieing. I see a star in the sky that I was fixated pm, and I'm thinking that's where I want to be. Eventually it feels like I die, my body is making weird ticking noises and I feel like I just lose my body, I come out of my body and have these giant angel wings and I start flying up to the star, when I'm about halfway there my wings turned to bone and I fall back to the earth, then several times over, I grow angel wings again and fly away again, only to have the same thing happen again, it felt like I was being taunted that I could never make it to heaven. I eventually snap back to my body again, and wake up another unknown time later.
I managed to stand up, and in my mind I was on this earth all alone, like in some type of purgatory. My body is so weak I can barely move, but I managed to stand up. The bottom half of my vision is solid black and the top half I can see the tops of trees, I eventually see this figure, totally black and tall with a cowboy hat on. It's just standing about 5 foot away and laughing at me. I try to pick up a big stick that was near me but my body was too weak to swing it at it. Every time I took a step forward , it just took a step back and laughed.
There is a fuzzy period here, but fast forward about 2 days later of being completely out of my mind in these woods, I stumble upon and oilfield location that had a little trailer where the workers could stay and it had a jeep parked out front. The doors were unlocked and I went inside trying to get some water out of the faucet, I didn't notice the guy asleep on the couch. No water came out, so I went into this guy's jeep, thinking totally that it was mine, got a crowbar and a wrench and went to the water main and broke into it and turned the water on. I go back inside and start ravenous drinking water out of the faucet.
The guy wakes up and at first thinks I'm a worker. He asked me if I just got hired. I told him yeah and he asked what I drove there and I told him the jeep outside. He looked at me confused and then says that's his jeep. I argued with him and told him that's my friends jeep and I'm borrowing it. He realizes something is fucked up and eventually runs me off while having the phone to his ears, undoubtedly calling the cops.
Three more days go by and im completely out of my mind, everything is like the scariest thing you can imagine and i dont know whats real of fake. Im malnourished, dieing, and freaking the fuck out. eventually I think the cops are after me, and I remembered storing some dope in my boot like two years before, I had on big rubber duck hunting boots, and for some reason I feel like I need to cut the boots up into tiny pieces and bury it. I do this and then run for another day from imaginary police.
I come across this area of trees cut down and there is a guy like 500 yards away on the other side that I'm trying to sign language to that I need help. My tongue was so dry I couldn't yell. The guy wasn't even real and eventually waved at me and drove off. I find a few berries to eat to wet my tongue and eventually collapse in thick thorn bushes staring up at the sky with big sharp thorns in my back thinking, "this wouldn't be so bad of a place to die" I pass out and get up an unknown time later.
I finally found some sort of road and I decide to try to walk down it, but when I do, like 20 world War two bombers fly over and drop these little silver cubes, hundreds of them, these cubes hatch and there's all these miniature snipers in the woods aiming at me. I freak out and start running down this road, and in My mind I'm thinking "okay they're all trying to kill me and I'm unarmed, all I can do to make them think i have a gun is to take my sock off and put it on my hand like a pistol with my fingers" so I do this while running frantically down this road, crazy as a mother fucker.
I finally run across this house and I beat on the door like the police for like 30 seconds and eventually this 80 year old man answers, and sees this crazy fucking site, I'm shirtless, shoes less, with one sock on my hand with cuts and shit all over my body and face, eyes like saucers and looking like the wolf man or some shit. I look dead in this man's eyes and while waving my sock pistol around I tell him "look, if they told you I'm here to kill you, I'm not. I just want to use your phone. " he looks very confused and shut the screen door while calling the police.
I eventually figure fuck it this man isn't going to help me so I run off and break into his back yard. I find the faucet and turn it on and I'm up under it with my mouth open, drinking in water so desperately and fast that I'm throwing up while drinking it. A cop eventually walks up to me and asks me to come with him. He tells me he has water in the cooler in his ride and I can drink that. I am so out of my mind and thirsty and dieing that I didn't believe him and he had to pry me away from the faucet.
He was able to tell after talking to me that I was very much out of my mind and takes me to the hospital. They tell me I have a 78% chance of dieing that I had ketoacidosis and my kidneys were failing. I lived, and after 8 or 9 days of being in these woods with no food or water, out of my fucking mind, with delusions so bad I didn't know what was real or fake, I finally got released and then sent to a mental hospital for two weeks.
This was by far the worst and scariest experience of my life and I would not wish it on anyone. Stay woke friends, and never go into meth induced psychosis.

He is, generationally, a Boomer. He’s had Boomer tendencies, but he retired last year, and the tendencies are becoming full-blown. It’s hard to watch.
He worked for the same company for 45+ years. Weekends, overtime. His life was eat, sleep, work, church. That is about it. Finally retired due to medical reasons. Has always been conservative leaning, gun-toting, religious, and is a Trump supporter. I’m more liberal-leaning, but pretty moderate. We have differing opinions on politics, social responsibility, religion, etc. I live across the country from my parents and we avoid the touchy subjects, so have been able to get along pretty well.
Covid happened (before he retired, but this was the start of it), and he became a staunch anti (Covid) vaxxer - all other vaccinations are ok, though. I can almost get it - it was developed quickly, experimental status. Blah blah. I’m a scientist, I was good with them, know how mRNA works, etc. Didn’t matter what I told him. But whatever. To each their own. His decision. Just don’t tell me what I should do. After COVID vaccines were made widely available to everyone, he sent me a 60 minute video from BitChute of some crazy “doctors” talking about how dangerous the COVID vaccines are. Tried to convince me to not get them. Got mad when I poked holes in the video, source of info, etc. He sent me some off his rocker comments about the China-virus, Chinese killing female babies, and something about Bill Gates being behind it. It was literally a 6 line text message paragraph, and there was so much to unpack. We bickered, and then dropped it. He once said to me “I don’t understand your leftist liberal leanings - we didn’t raise you that way”. Like, wut? Ffs, I have a good career, healthy marriage, am a productive member of society. I am not an addict or in jail. There are worse things than being a little left leaning, me thinks.
Anyway, now that he has been retired, he does not know what to do with himself. He is on his phone CONSTANTLY. God knows what tin-foil hat wearing, extremist bs he is reading and buying into. He and my mom recently came to visit. While they were here, my mom came to me and was like “your dad is on the phone getting scammed and he won’t listen to me”. He’s on speaker, and I’m listening in. He has his credit card out. He’s talking about a password, security code, etc. I tell him to hang up. He does, and goes on to say why he thinks it’s legitimate. I tell him to call the company office he works with locally for his account and to ask them about it. Sure enough, it’s a scam. He then tries to save face and say he was planning to call and check. Bullshit. He said in the moment he thought it was legit! There were so many red flags. He won’t go to the “how to detect a scam” seminar at the senior center because he doesn’t think he needs it.
He and my mom go home, and next thing I know, he’s texting me asking how many COVID vaccines my toddler has had and that he is concerned for her and us because he has been reading “studies” that link cancer with the third COVID shot. I lose it. Ask him where he is getting his info and to send me the studies. He doesn’t. He drops the issue, but not before my husband saw steam coming out of my ears. He is also one of those who pushed “college college college” on me and my sister. God knows what crazy shit he is reading online, but now he has also bought into the “educational system indoctrinating leftist ideals” stuff, probably because his kids have a different worldview than he does. Like, dude. You pushed it on us. Now you are mad we have a different perspective?
There’s more. But here we are. deep breath

"Himiko?" Kokichi knocked on the door to Himiko and Tenko's room later that night. Himiko had taken a long nap after such a disappointing day. But, before she fell asleep, she reflected deeply on what Kokichi had told her. She had to admit that he was right, that she needed to a better attitude about herself. But, how to do that, she didn't know. She suddenly remembered his words: You should be smart, confident, and capable of doing things your way. Her way? What was her way, exactly?
"Himiko?" Kokichi whispered a little louder. Himiko opened her eyes, hearing Kokichi calling out to her. She scrambled out of bed and went over to answer the door. Kokichi smiled at her with his usual cheeky grin. "Hey, sleepyhead! Are you still planning on selling cookies?" Himiko took a deep breath and nodded. Kokichi had given her some courage to actually try things and take chances, to try and overcome self-doubt.
"Yeah. I'm ready," she said. There was still a part of her that didn't want to, but she forced that part of her into silence. She lifted her chin and smiled at him. "I'm ready, Kokichi." Kokichi smiled back at her.
"Alright, Monkey Buns!" he cheered, giving her a high five and then a hug. "Same place?"
"Alright," Himiko nodded. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She remembered what Kokichi had told her earlier about being smart and confident her way. "But, on the way over there, can we stop by my, um..." She paused to whisper. "...secret lair? "
"Ooooh?" Kokichi murmured with a curious smile. "Yeah, we can stop by." Himiko nodded and retreated back into her room to grab the two tin bowls of cookies she had baked with Three and Ten.
"Nyeh...okay, I'm ready," Himiko said. Kokichi took her hand in his, and the two crept downstairs. Some of the others were still in the dining room eating dinner, so Kokichi and Himiko had to leave through the front door to get to Himiko's secret magic room under the gazebo. Kokichi stood outside to keep watch while Himiko went inside her magic room. Once inside, she went for her magical dream powder bottle and poured some of its purple, sparkly contents into a small vial, hiding it in one of her jacket's pockets. Then, she met back up with Kokichi.
"Now I'm ready," she said.
"Okie-dokie!" Kokichi replied, taking the tin bowls from Himiko to hold them for her. "Let's go, HimikoCocoa Bean!" They then hurried over to D.I.C.E. headquarters.
"Boss!" Four said, jumping up from the couch. "And Boss Lady!"
"Hey, Ichiro," Kokichi and Himiko replied.
"Wanna hear a song that I heard on the radio?" Four asked. He cleared his throat, and began singing without waiting for a response. "If you like piña coladaaaaas, and getting caught in the rai-"
"Okay, Ichiro, that's enough," Kokichi interrupted, wincing from Four's terrible voice.
"Urgh...thank you!" Five exclaimed as she wrapped Kokichi's cape around him. After Three placed Kokichi's hat on his head, she turned to Himiko.
"So, Himiko, did you sell a lot of cookies?" she asked eagerly. Himiko gave her an apologetic look and shook her head. Three's shoulders slumped.
"Oh..." she said softly.
"What? Why?" Ten asked. "Did they not like them? Because I put all my blood, sweat, and tears into those things! Er...well, not literally...duh."
"Yeah, I hope not!" Two exclaimed, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "I bet there are people in this world who actually do stuff like that!"
"Nee-heehee...I know a very horny someone who'd do something like that," Kokichi said.
"The tin bowls are still so full!" Three said, her voice dripping with disappointment.
"It's not really the cookies that people didn't like, Keiko," Himiko said. "It was because of me."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Nine asked.
"Well, I'm not really popular at school to begin with," Himiko said. "But, I wasn't really trying my best to sell them because I didn't think I could."
"Ouch," Six muttered.
"Oh, well...still!" Three huffed. "They could have at least tried your cookies, anyways! Those...those...clowns! " Then she turned to nobody in particular. "No offense, me," she mumbled to herself before turning back to Himiko.
"Hey, no offense to the rest of us, either!" Four said.
"Should we take offense?" Nine asked. "It's not like we're actual professional clow-"
"We get it, Hideyo!" everyone but Himiko interrupted simultaneously.
"Nyeh, well...anyways, thanks to Kokichi, I've decided to try again," Himiko said, giving Kokichi a shy smile.
"Aww, HimiCocoa Bean, you're making me blush!" Kokichi teased, wrapping his arm around her waist. "But, I only get half the credit. You should give yourself credit, too!"
"And you should give us those cookies," Four said, pointing to the tin bowls in Kokichi's hand.
"Himiko, are you still going to sell these?" Kokichi asked. Himiko thought for a moment. She remembered what Tsumugi said about chocolate chip cookies being plain and boring.
"No," she finally answered. "Actually, I've decided to go with Ten's plan from earlier."
"Right! Um...wait, what plan was that again?" Ten asked.
"The plan to make the snickerdoodles," Himiko said.
"Oh, yeah!" Ten remembered, a grin crossing his face.
"But, I wanna add a secret ingredient of mine," Himiko said.
"I hope it's not blood, sweat, and tears," Two said, shuddering.
"Why not?" Seven asked with a creepy smile. "Don't you like that salty, metallic flavor in your cookies?"
"Ew! Yuck! Kokichi, make her stop!" Five said, covering her ears.
"Tsukiko, don't make me tell Emi to get Mr. Sparkles," Kokichi warned. Seven hid under a blanket.
"No, please. Anything but that accursed pink and plushy unicorn!" she hissed. Five grinned smugly at her.
"Can we help you bake again, Himiko?" Three asked hopefully.
"Nyeh...of course!" Himiko answered.

"Neat-o! Let's get started!" Ten said, rubbing his hands enthusiastically. Kokichi nodded to Himiko encouragingly, and she followed Three and Ten to the kitchen. They soon got started on the batter. Himiko removed the vial of dream powder from her pocket.
"Oooo! What is that stuff?" Three asked, entranced by the purple, glittery powder.
"Hopefully the thing that'll win over any potential customers," Himiko answered before pouring the powder into the mixture. She mixed the batter until it became a shiny, glittering harmony of many colors.
"Holy Constantinople-y!" Ten exclaimed. "What the heck kind of secret ingredient is that?!"
"The batter looks so...pretty!" Three breathed in awe. "It's so...shiny and sparkly!" Then, she lowered her voice. "Is this...some of your magic, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...that's right," Himiko nodded.
"I know this is might sound like a dumb question, but...are you allowed to do that?" Ten asked.
"Nobody at school knows about my magic except for Kokichi," Himiko said. "So, technically, it's not not allowed. And besides, Kokichi said that I need to be smart and confident my way. And magic is my way of doing just that."
Part Eight
Sunday afternoon. Himiko took a deep breath, deeply breathing in the warm air as a gentle breeze flowed around her. Today, she felt lucky. She stood behind her table at the front of the school. Above her was a more colorful, glittery sign she and Three had worked on with the word, "Snoozydoodles," written in swirly letters. Hopefully it would be enough to bring in some customers. Her snickerdoodles were laid out on three large trays in front of her so that the other students could see their colorful and sparkly design.
"Hiya, Himiko!" came a cheerful voice. Himiko looked up and was surprised to see Three.
"Keiko?" she whispered. "Nyeh...what are you doing here?"
"I decided to come and cheer you on...and to make sure the turd buckets here buy your cookies," Three replied. "I put some love and special care into those cookies, and I didn't bust my tail just to have nobody buy them!"
"Nyeh...but...Ten and I worked on them, too," Himiko pointed out. "And I put my 'special ingredient' in them."
"I know," Three said. "But, I feel like if I worked hard on something, either by myself or in a group, I'd like for the world to see it, that's all."
"I understand," Himiko said with a small smile. "Wait...this is supposed to be a competition between me and Kokichi! I don't think he'd appreciate you helping me out, especially since I should be doing this myself."
"Well, I'll just be here for emotional support, then!" Three said. Himiko smiled gratefully and nodded.
"I guess that's okay," she said. " Thanks, Keiko. I like your outfit, by the way." Three scanned her outfit proudly. Instead of her D.I.C.E. uniform, she wore an oversized, cream-colored fluffy sweater over a short, pink ruffled skirt. She wore a pair of white tights with some loose pink socks and a pair of black and white checkered lolita shoes with pink straps. In her hair were pink bows over each pigtail.
"Eeee! Thank you!" she squealed happily. "It's not very often I get to go out in cutesy clothes like this, unless I'm undercover! Well...I guess you might say I'm going undercover right now, but...eh, whatever."
"Speaking of which, why are your shoes checkered?" Himiko asked. "Won't that give you away? Part of the reason why people know your organization is because of the checker pattern scarves...which makes me wonder how people haven't suspected Kokichi being part of...you-know-what."
"Heehee...I call that the 'Sailor Moon Effect,'" Three giggled. "But, anyway, when members of the organization are wearing casual clothes, we have to wear some article of clothing with a black and white checkered pattern to let other members know our affiliation. The beauty of it is that there are people not affiliated with us who wear checker patterned clothing, so it gives us a chance to blend in as if we're just regular people. That's why we have a codeword to tell the difference between members and the 'reggies.'"

"What's the codeword?" Himiko asked. Three leaned in closer to Himiko.

"'Funny business,' " she whispered.
"Nyeh...that's actually really cool," Himiko admitted with a smile.
"Yeah! You should really join, Himiko!" Three said. "I think you'll have lots of fun!"
"Fun with what?" asked Tenko, suddenly appearing with Angie and Tsumugi behind her. She had a frown on her face and marched right up to Three. "Himiko, who's this girl, and what's she trying to get you to join? WAIT!! Is this girl the friend you were talking about?! The one who helped you bake cookies yesterday?!"
"Yeah," Himiko nodded.
"Hey! I recognize you!" Angie said. "You're one of the girls who rescued Himiko from that crazy girl many months ago!" Three brightened.
"Yeah! That's me!" she said.
"Tuh...I could have rescued Himiko, you know," Tenko huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Three.
"Well...why didn't you?" Three asked.
"Urgh...!" Tenko scoffed. "Who do you think you are?!"
"I'm Michika!" Three lied, using one of her aliases. "I'm here to support Himiko with her cookie sale!"
"She doesn't need your support," Tenko said, stepping in between Three and Himiko. "Himiko already has me! Right, Himiko?"
"Umm..." Himiko mumbled.
"Of course you do!" Tenko interrupted.
"But...you didn't even let her finish," Three said.
"I didn't have to," Tenko said. "I already knew what she was thinking because we're best friends."
"Well...then...if you're her best friend, why dont'cha buy a cookie?" Three suggested craftily.
"Hmph! I will!" Tenko scoffed and turned to Himiko. "How much for a cookie, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...same as before," Himiko answered. Tenko paid ¥500 and grabbed a shimmery, glittering light green snickerdoodle from one of the trays. "Ooo, these are pretty, Himiko! Did you bake them all by yourself?"
"No, um...Michika helped me again," Himiko answered. Tenko glared at Three and flipped her hair at her.
"Well...they're okay, then," she said haughtily. "But, they're extra special because you helped, Himiko!"
"What are these cookies called, Himiko?" Tsumugi asked, scrutinizing a glittering blue cookie.
"Nyeh...they're called 'Snoozydoodles,'" Himiko answered. "They're snickerdoodles, but a special kind of snickerdoodles."
"Oooo! Why are they called 'Snoozydoodles?'" asked Angie.
"You have to eat them right before going to sleep to find out," Himiko answered mysteriously. Tenko hovered her cookie in front of her mouth.
"Oh! So, I have to eat this right before bed?" she asked.
"That's right," Himiko nodded.
"Aw, that's so creative, Himiko!" Tenko cried in adoration. "You're really clever, too! I bet you thought of the name!" Three rolled her eyes in annoyance. Himiko provided a little baggy for Tenko to put her cookie in, and provided some for Angie and Tsumugi, as well, after they had paid for their cookies.
"Thank you, Himiko," Tsumugi said.

"Yes! Yes! Thank you, Himiko!" Angie chirped.
"Well...I guess we'd better try out the other cookies," Tsumugi said. "Everyone else said they'd have different flavors of cookies, too. Although, I don't think I'll try Kokichi's after what happened yesterday. I can plainly still feel the burn on my tongue."
"Hmm...I thought his cookies were divine!" Angie exclaimed. "I have never felt such an intense rush of heat before! Especially in a cookie!"
"Leave it up to a degenerate male to bake something so...horrible! " Tenko spat. Three raised a brow at her.
"Degenerate male?" she repeated. She didn't like hearing her boss being referred to that way.
"Yeah! Males are all scum of the Earth!" Tenko said. "Kind of like...best friend stealers."
"I wasn't trying to steal your best friend," Three said, fed up with Tenko.

"Huh...why did you assume I was talking about you? " Tenko asked. "You know what happens to people who assume things, don't you?"

"They end up knocking all 32 teeth out of the person accusing them of assuming things?" Three replied, trying to keep her cool.
"And you're violent!" Tenko shouted. "You're clearly a bad influence on Himiko!" Three stared at her in disbelief, creating an awkward silence to linger in the air.
"Well, um...I guess we should be going then," Tsumugi said, hurriedly yanking Angie away. "C'mon, Angie. Tenko? Are you coming?"

"No. I think I'll stay right here and help Himiko, since she clearly needs my support," Tenko said, glowering at Three.
"Tenko..." Himiko sighed in exasperation, but Three merely smiled sweetly at Tenko.
"Oh, my gosh! Where'd you get your outfit?" she asked. Tenko looked down quizzically at her outfit.
"W-Why...do you want to know?" she replied with suspicion.
"It's just so pretty!" Three replied. "Are you, like, the Ultimate Princess, or the Ultimate Cheerleader, or something?"
"Um...n-no...I'm the Ultimate Aikido Master," Tenko stammered as a small blush appeared on her face.
"Oh, wow! That's even better!" Three exclaimed. "I bet you give those...degenerate males...what they deserve all the time!" The hardened look on Tenko's face from before disappeared.
"You bet I do!" she said proudly.
"Oh...I wish I could be like you!" Three breathed. "You're, like, my hero! I bet you're a hero to girls everywhere!" Tenko lowered her head bashfully, blushing like crazy.
"N-No...I'm not all that...great," she sputtered.
"I bet you'd do anything for girls, huh?" Three asked.
"Oh, yes!" Tenko answered. "So long as you aren't a degenerate male, you're a friend of mine!"
Says the girl who just accused me of stealing her best friend, Three thought to herself. "Hooray! I'm happy to hear that! But...to tell you the truth, I can't believe you just ditched your other friends. They were girls, after all, and you just let them walk right into the school where they could be potential prey for those boys-er...I mean, degenerate males." Tenko gasped with realization.
"Oh, my gosh! You're so right!" she cried. "But...what about Himiko?"
"I'll look after her," Three said. "You trust me, right? I am a girl after all."
"Ohhh...well, okay," Tenko said. Then, she smiled. "I'll trust you, Michika! Take care of Himiko!"
"Oh, I will!" Three said. "Bye! Goodbye!" Tenko waved goodbye, leaving Himiko and Three alone. Three exhaled. "Finally, she's gone!" Himiko stared at her in amazement.
"Nyeh...that was incredible!" she cried. Three shrugged modestly.
"Yeah, I guess I picked up a little bit of manipulation skills from the boss," she said. "He's way better at it than I am, though! That girl was so annoying, by the way! Is she seriously your best friend?!"
"Well, yeah, I guess," Himiko answered. "She wants to support and protect me all the time."
"Sounds more like she wants to breastfeed you, or wipe your butt after you poop," Three said in disgust. She and Himiko shuddered at the thought. "Well, anyways, now that 'Tin Cup' is gone, let's put you on the cookie map!"
"Right!" Himiko said, and gave Three a high five.

Let me share my 3000h of modded wisdom with you, my fellow vanilla comrades. My attempt here is to provide you with as many as possible improvements to the base game while keeping the style, balance, and content as vanilla as possible. As they say, when it works the best is when you don't realize it is there. I guarantee you that after playing a few dozen hours with these, you will no longer be able to tell what's vanilla and what's not.
I decided to cut my recommendations onto different types of lists, so it's easier for you. The most purists players can stick with QoL only. Or, even if you're a psychopath purist who doesn't any QoL improvement, you can still use the performance list.
Please, note that a lot of these mods come with options, to tune up your experience. It is recommended you give them a look.
Dependencies:

• Harmony + Huglibs. Required by so many mods, you may as well be done with it and always have them.
• Vanilla Expanded Framework. While not as radically necessary as the previous ones, it's still a dependency common enough. And this one actually does cool things on its own, like loading new modded factions without having to start a new game.
• XML Extensions. You won't be able to access the options of some mods without this.

Performance

• Dub performance analyzer. Enable the optimizations and override options, you can ignore everything else. If you want to disable alerts, use rocketman.
• Rocketman. By default, it should be good enough. This mod also allows to disable alerts you may don't care about, like, dunno, tattered apparel or unhappy nudity. It is recommended to run adaptive move occasionally (in stat cache settings).
• Performance Optimizer. More hacker magic. If you don't like the UI changes, you can disable them in the options. This mod does more performance stuff aside from that, so use it anyway!
• Performance Fish. You will have to install this mod manually, since it's not available in the workshop. You will also need to install its dependencies, Fishery and Prepatcher. Please, be aware that at the present there's an issue in which linking storage crashes the game. However, this is solved by disabling "TryFindBestBetterStoreCellFor" in the options.

Quality of life

• Optimization Meats. Unless you really want dozens of different meat types for some weird role-play reason, this mod will reduce the bloat on your kitchens.
• Better Animal Tab
• Better Info Card
• Bionic icons
• Conduit Deconstruct
• Disable Automatically Select Travel Supplies
• Dubs Mint Menus IN PROGRESS
• Improved Need Indicator
• Map Preview. You can reroll as well!
• Prepare Landing. You can search tiles matching your conditions.
• Medical Tab. An easy way to overview your colonist's health.
• More Harvest Designators! e.g. harvest only fully growth plants.
• ModDiff. Great improvement of the mod mismatch screen.
• Pharmacist Temporary Update. Instead of always using the best medicine, now your pawns can use medicine tiers for according situations. No longer will they spent glitterworld meds for scratches!
• Smart Turret Covering. Fixes an issue with turret covers.
• PawnTargetFix. So that the autotarget prioritizes the closest enemy.
• Poisoned Food Stack Fix (Fix). Fixes an issue with meal stacks.
• Priority Treatment Ressurected. Doctors will finally prioritize keeping your pawns alive over taking a nap. Disable the X option, it can cause issues.
• QualityBuilder. You can set up a target level for furniture, and your pawns will reconstruct it until it's achieved. If I remember correctly, it's enabled by default? Disable that in options.
• RPG Style Inventory Revamped. Much better looking inventory.
• Replace Stuff. Allows to directly replace buildings, without having to deconstruct first.
• Research Tree. A better research tree.
• RimHUD. The best mod of the whole list, it will save you a ton of clicks.
• RimSaves. Overhaul of the save menu.
• Show Known Techprints on the trade screen.
• Show mechanoid weapons on the info screen.
• Smarter Construction. No more babysitting pawns when building walls.
• Stack gap. By default, pawns refill storages constantly. With this mod, you can configure it so that storages are only refiled once they're finally empty. It will save you a lot of time.
• Sun Lamp Honesty. Fixes an issue with sun lamps
• Trait and Backstory Icons
• Trade Ships Drop Spot
• Trading Options. Configure how frequent you want the traders to be.
• WVC. More work modes for the mechanitor.
• Save Settings. Allows you to save and load storage, production, and clothes settings. Works cross-save!
• No Max Bills. Removes the cap on workbenches.
• Better ground-penetrating scanner
• Colored deep resources
• Common Sense. Feel free to configure however you like it. I prefer it like this.
• Dubs Mint Menus. Improvements to a bunch of menus.
• Better Pawn Control. Improved policies.

Minor changes

• Almostthere1.5. Caravans no longer go to sleep two hours away from their destination.
• Stepping Stones. A more reasonable research path.
• Animals Logic. A lot of useful animal-related improvements. Disable the meat option if you're using Optimization Meats.
• Non uno Pinata. Pawns don't drop items when downed.
• Beautiful Jade
• Bulk Smelting will save you precious time.
• Stonecutting Extended, basically the same as the previous mod, but for stones.
• Electric Stonecutting Table. To speed up the stonecutting even more.
• Faster Smoothing, a must for all tunnelers out there.
• Do Your F****** Research. You can order pawns to research.
• Go the Fork to Sleep. You can order pawns to sleep.
• Dubs Break Mod. So that severe mental breaks require severe negative thoughts.
• Gene Trader
• Fists Aren't Made of Steel. Reduces the unarmed melee damage, making prison breaks and tantrums much less frustrating.
• Just Put It Over There. Traders will deliver the merchandise, instead of dropping it on the ground.
• Meal Radius. Configure how far pawns will search for a table.
• Home radius. Configure the size of the automatic home areas.
• No Burn Metal. Sets the flammability of metals to zero.
• Prisoners Fear Turrets
• Realistic Rooms Rewritten. Allows to tweak how pawns perceive room sizes.
• Ugh You Got Me. Social fights stop when pawns are sufficiently hurt or in pain. Doesn't affect masochists or psychopaths.
• Smarter Visitors. Visitors will leave if things get dangerous.
• Better Gene Inheritance
• Better Pyromania
• Custom Guilt Duration. Executions in vanilla are a pain because the guilty status goes away too fast. Now you can configure it.
• Dress Patients. Allows dressing of downed pawns.
• Way Better Romance
• Enemy Self Preservation. Enemies can flee.
• No One Left Behind. Fleeing enemies try to rescue their allies.
• Hunters Use Melee
• Injured Carry. Allows to rescue not downed pawns.
• Mortar Accuracy. Improves mortar mechanics.
• Deep Storage + Simple Storage. Improves stockpile management.
• Not My Fault. The player is no longer responsible for unrelated deaths on the map.
• Pick Up And Haul. Improved hauling.
• While You're Up. Complement for the previous mod.
• RunAndGun. Allows to use guns while moving, with penalties to accuracy.
• Snap Out! Wardens can try to calm down pawns on mental breaks.
• Vanilla Genes Rebalanced
• Trading Spot
• Better Camp Loot
• Graze up. Grazing rebalanced.
• Vanilla Base Generation Expanded. Improved base generation.

Mayor changes

• Dubs Bad Hygiene. Plumbing!
• Death Rattle + Biosculpter Patch + Life Support.
• Dynamic Flooding. Inundations can happen.
• Some Things Float. I recommend disabling the chance of pawns loosing their footing.
• Layered Wall Destruction. Note that there's an issue in which debris will spawn home areas.
• Vanilla Temperature Expanded. Lot of useful temperature-related buildings, as well as proxy heat, a very cool mechanic.
• Yayo's Combat 3. Combat overhaul.

Atmospheric changes

• Interaction Bubbles + SpeakUp
• Death Acidifiest
• Memorable Auroras
• Sand Castles
• More Mini-Horns
• Sandstorms
• ReGrowth. Overhaul of biomes and much more!
• My Little Planet. Instead of the size of a super continent, tweak the size of the planet!
• Better Explosions
• Better Vanilla Masking
• Graphic Chair Overhaul 2
• Not Overhead Meal
• Graphics Settings+
• Graying Hair
• Show Hair With Hats or Hide All Hats
• Gunplay. A warning: trails can broke some mods. They can be disabled in options.
• Blood Animations
• Childrens Drawings
• Cuter Biotech Cat/Dog Ear Replacer. If you don't like the meat-colored animal ears from Biotech, this is for you!
• Geological Landforms. New map shapes!
• Biome Transitions
• Muzzle Flash
• Spectacular Skullspike. You can rotate them now.
• Vanilla Races Expanded - Custom Icons. For Biotech.
• Yayo's Animation (Continued)
• Retextures
  • Parka Retexture
  • Retextured Apparel
  • Retextured Sculptures
  • Vanilla Beards Retextured
  • Vanilla Hair Retextured
  • Vanilla Pawns Retextured
  • Marbled Marble
  • Essentials: Stone (the stat changes won't work)
  • Vanilla Textures Expanded - Variations
  • Vanilla Textures Expanded
  • I Hate Daylilies
  • Biotech Mechanoid Retexture
  • Tastier Vanilla Clothes
  • Van's Steel
  • Glowing Healroot
  • More Vanilla Textures
• Audio
  • Ambient Rim. New sound effects.
  • Realistic Human Sounds. Pawns make sounds when hurt.
  • Actually Vanilla Music Expansion. New music.
  • P-Music. New music.
• Hairs
  • Erin's Hairstyles
  • Hard Times
  • Rimsenal Hair + Retextured
  • Roo's Hairstyles
  • Roo's Royalty Hairstyles
  • The Vanity Project
  • Won hair_men + Retextured
  • Won hair_women + Retextured

Bonus: comics! And the occasional animation, check the profiles of u/daleksdeservevictory , u/AzulCrescent , u/AetherealVanguard , u/Senseless0 , u/ATTF , u/Aelanna , srgrafo, u/Fonzawa , u/Ivancmedia , u/zyll3 , u/meto30 , u/AeolysScribbles , u/cavalier753 , u/GABESTFY , u/VectorData , u/arxian , u/Nguyenanh2132 , u/sorrowful_dance , u/meto30 , u/-desdinova- , u/truffli

And as vicious as ever 😒. I sprayed bug spray all over my body and on my hat. Took my hat off to take a picture, ended with 3 bites on my forehead and two on my ear. Also, one on the back of the hand, and a cluster on the back of the thigh where they bit through my pants and I guess I missed with the bug spray... This was on El Prieto trail, so ANF foothills. That's it. I just needed to complain and warn people. It's bug net season again...

I have been taking stock of the few outstanding paranormal/spiritual experiences I've had in my life, and trying to trace back to their origin. So far, I've connected that I've found myself immersed in a trance-like state while hiking around an old native burial ground (where remains were discovered old caves nearby), feeling a spirit in childhood home that was likely a ghost (a previous owner was murdered there), and having a "third eye opening" experience while meditating few months ago.
However, the one truly uncomfortable experience I have yet to piece together took the form of a hyper-realistic dream I had, perhaps four or five years ago. I still remember it as the most frightening nightmare I've experienced in my life. If you all could help me piece together any meaning behind it and who the figures were, I'd certainly appreciate it.
I found myself standing on a dirt road overlooking a vast dry plain with gently sloping hills. The sun seemed to hang in the air, and the air around me was oppressive and hot. As I looked down the road, I could feel my chest tighten as in the distance, I saw a small speck of a figure. I felt unsettled, and looked on. Somehow, my focus was "grabbed" by the figures in the distance and my eyes were "forced" to close the distance visually, incredibly quickly, zooming in. I felt terrified as I looked on to an old man in a broad hat and long black coat or cloak. He had a creased, tanned, grizzled face with stubble on his cheeks. He was exuding pure malice, and I felt a sense of hatred in his eyes. He was pushing a hag-like woman in a wheelchair towards me. Her black eyes were beady and her old face was twisted and grotesque. I assume what folks would call her a crone or a traditional depiction of an old witch. They were were dressed in black and dark brown, in older attire perhaps early 18th century or so. I could feel the old woman and the man stare directly into my soul. I was not only overcome with terror (like, surprise + fear + panic). I knew in my soul, or heart, that this was truly the embodiment of evil, like in an objective cosmic sense. I was petrified. The hag woman opened her mouth and my ears were filled with a terrible scream which turned into roar. The intensity of which woke me with a start from the dream, my head aching. I felt nausea creep over me, and even as a grown man I was completely scared. It felt too real, too emotionally raw. I didn't fall asleep again that night until I passed out from exhaustion.
I reach out to you all to see if you might be able to help me interpret what went on. The hyper-real dreamlike state was odd as well, it seemed far more intense than other dreams I've had. I have not experienced either of these dream entities since, happily. Thanks for your time.

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Hello all and thanks in advance for taking the time to read and provide any assistance or two cents you may provide.
I'll start off by saying I work for one of the largest companies in Australia, in a Melbourne location. One whom has a relatively consistent reputation for intentionally misleading its clients, mishandling private and confidential information, and often times providing no solution to any client whom has been effected by any wrong doing of them. I will add that within my company, I feel as if the same culture is reflected internally toward employees too.
I currently have an annual leave balance of 37 days. Today my line manager (let's call him Harrison) received a teams message from his line leader (let's call him Keith). Keith provided a screenshot of my annual leave balance and stated that it was not acceptable that I have such annual leave balance and my balance must be either at, or below 5 days at any given time. All of the other employees on my level have received the exact same correspondence regarding their annual leave. I will add- It is not, and has never been a term or condition (or even mentioned at the slightest) on any employment contract, internal document, or agreement by anyone in my position.
I have been directed that I must submit annual leave requests (dates at Keith's discretion) so that within 6 months time, I will hold no more than 5 days in my balance. I have been told, just after finding out of this strange demand today, that my deadline is at the end of the week (3 days from now). It has been STRONGLY recommended to everyone on the list that they use their annual leave to provide themselves with 3 day weekends for 6 months to minimise the impact to the business of having someone out of a desk for a long period at a time. They state that doing so will provide 'mini recharges' and 'mini energy boosts' through bus times of the year for our business to sustain productivity through the end of financial year period.
This absolutely does not reflect my personal goals or objectives as I do not need, nor want 3 day weekends for 'mini recharges'.
I have explained to my employer what they already know ( and surprisingly still sent this insensitive direction to me) that I currently have a very close family member overseas whom is about to pass away due to a terminal illness, which my family and I will need to visit before this occurs. The timeframe which we will do that is outside of this 6 month window, It is more like 6-12 months. The leave required for me to do this will be approximately 3 or 4 weeks, understandably to spend the last month of their life or so with a very close member of our family whom has been a part of our lives for 20+ years.
My company has already asked me to move to a different location whilst another employee deals with a family emergency because they could not find a candidate for it, I agreed to move to the other location for one month and was not provided any compensation for doing so. One month had passed and I had to ask my employer when I would be transferred back to my original home location. I was told "oh yeah they quit because they had some family issues and nobody wanted to move here and we couldn't hire anyone else because they were all rubbish, so you're staying here now". -all without signing any documents or any notification on my part. And for the cherry on top, my annual salary was cut $14,500. I only realised after 4 months, and upon asking Keith why this was, I was told "yes this location has less clients than your original home location, so the salary reflects that" - May I also add, my new location, because of me, is now sitting on the top of the leaderboards for the performance for all locations, and I am by far the hardest working and highest achieving in my role out of all of our locations- as shown in the company's own data. Though I am paid $14,500 less than before and even a whopping $24,000 per year less than my old colleague at my original location whom was in the same role as me with only 6 a month more tenure.
Further, I have explained to my employer that I am on the brink of experiencing financial hardship and cannot continue to have my paycheques issued with incorrect payments on them (which they frequently admit to making mistakes on), that I need to ensure my sick leave is processed correctly, that my annual leave is taken seriously etc. As well as that I, not only have a whole family, including children with early childhood education to pay for, though a car repayment, a mortgage and food and living expenses for us all. My employer does not seem to take this seriously and has currently spent a grand total of 9 months investigating a significant claim I have made regarding over $10,000 of underpayment to myself. The HR team whom has been tasked with reviewing it seems to disappear off the face of the earth and be uncontactable for 3 weeks at a time whenever they feel like it, and seem like reviewing HR cases is what they can do if they so feel like it, but that is kinda deviating from my issue at present though.
I feel like I am being wronged and violated at every stage of my employment an absolutely squeezed to work the life out of me with zero regard to even let me have my own annual leave balance that I have accumulated and have already told the company I will definitely use, just not within the next 6 months, and I have explained time and time again that forcing me to diminish my balance so low would put me at a 100% risk of significant financial hardship, such as not being able to make mortgage or car repayments, and my children attending school without lunch, and myself not being able to eat any proper and nutritious meals whatsoever. It seems to fall on deaf ears each time.
TLDR; I am being forced to purposely diminish my annual leave to an amount that would put me in significant financial hardship even though I have never signed or agreed to do such thing and this policy was made at the drop of a hat and my employer simply won't listen and doesn't care about my genuine reasons why I do not want to intentionally diminish my annual leave balance so low.
Of course I understand that no advice here provided replaces a face to face consultation with a legal advisor in this area, though am interested to receive insight and opinions from those in the field, with a legal background or those opinions of laypeople reading this.
Thank you all so much for your time and lots of blessings to all who provide insight!

This LEGO set ( DIO's World ) is based on the latest Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders series. Here I combined several different ones into one. The set contains 2400 pieсes.
In this scene you can see the events:
1) The moment when Kakyoin fights with Dio and when he loses, he gives a sign to Joseph about the secret of Dio's stand by blowing up the chapel.
2) The moment when Dio throws knives at Joseph and Jotaro.
3) The moment when Jotaro beats up Dio after he wanted to behead Jotaro with a road sign and the villain escapes with the help of a taxi.
The best part in this set is the 5 stands: Star Platinum, The World, Hierophant Green, Silver Chariot and Hermit Purple ( but it doesn't have a unique build, so it's in Joseph's hands ). Each stand has 28 points of articulation, which allows you to put them in different poses, except Hermit Purple. As well as the characters: Jotaro Kujo, Dio Brando, Noriaki Kakyoin, Jean Pierre Polnareff and Joseph Joestar. Each of the characters, including the stands, are endowed with new details of hats and hair and some other accessories such as Jotaro's coat, Dio's belt and Star Platinum's scarf.
( I couldn't post this set on Lego Ideas because the JOJO brand is banned on this site )

Took me… er, about a decade, counting time away from the game. Of course, back then we had to grind Notability three times per stat. Uphill, in the snow, both ways. These young arrivistes with their railways and 4.5+ EPA grinds don’t know how easy they have it. I had to wait for a Watchful mood-hat and sent meself to the River getting that last level of Scholar of the Correspondence… To celebrate I bought an Overgoat and threw the Amanuensis out on his ear.

Could someone help me find the title?
I can't remember the name, but I do remember the MC is a female demon lord who wakes up after a long time and gets joined by a pink haired girl with bunny ears, who she finds annoying.
The MC as far as I remember has red hair, horns and wears a black hat that reminded me of Jotaro from JJBA.

Hey guys! So I’m trying to cook up a new beat. I sample soul and flip it into trap but I have a problem.
In my headphones the sample plays the Hi-hat but only in the right ear (I added nothing to the sample yet). I need it in both or else it sounds weird. Is there an easy way to fix this in fl? I tried messing with the pan knob on the board but I think I’m dumb and don’t know how to get it perfect.
For reference the song I’m using is outstanding - gap band. Listen for yourself to see what I mean. Thanks so much guys!!

Hey guys! So I’m trying to cook up a new beat. I sample soul and flip it into trap but I have a problem.
In my headphones the sample plays the Hi-hat but only in the right ear (I added nothing to the sample yet). I need it in both or else it sounds weird. Is there an easy way to fix this in fl? I tried messing with the pan knob on the board but I think I’m dumb and don’t know how to get it perfect.
For reference the song I’m using is outstanding - gap band. Listen for yourself to see what I mean. Thanks so much guys!!

*Trigger warning: Mention of Self Harm*
Apologies if this post seems long, but I really need some outside perspective. I (25F) recently broke up with my ex (26M) after a decade together because I had committed self-harm. We have one child together (6moF), and since the incident happened, I have been in intensive therapy to receive help with my mental health.
While I was in the hospital, he served me with custody papers for our daughter. I was hurt and upset by it, but I understood where it was coming from, so I never made a big deal about it. But after some talking, we agreed to an informal agreement that allows me to see her on weekends at his place.
Here is where I need some advice. During Mother's Day weekend, his mother (who never liked me) came over to his apartment uninvited and let herself into his building with the access code given to her for emergencies. Then she banged on the door and once she was inside, she began yelling and cussing all bad words at me (though that doesn't hurt my feelings in the slightest) because I am used to her bitterness and hatred towards me. I find it hilarious because she has been a HORRIBLE mother to her son.
Once she saw me, she went to assault me (she tried yanking my hair, but only was able to rip the scarf off of my head) and yelling that I needed to get out. He is the only one underneath his lease and told her that wasn't going to happen, and she needed to go. He tried explaining our situation we have for our daughter, but it was falling on deaf ears. After she touched me, though I am taller than her by a lot, I stood up and cussed back at her. Mostly saying to not touch me and ripping her a new one about how poor of a mother she's been to him for years (which I know struck a chord because my ex mentioned it later in a different conversation, he had with her).
I was so mad and told him that while I could press charges on her for touching me, I chose not to BECAUSE that is his mother. I do not care nor want a relationship with that woman. All I care about is maintaining a good co-parenting relationship with my ex for the sake of our daughter. It already hurts because I went from seeing her every day to only on weekends, but I know my actions have consequences and these are mine.
However, another incident occurred that made me want to reach out to the world of Reddit. Today, my ex called to inform me that, my former boss and his new landlord, told him that she saw me out today. She threatened him to say that if he doesn't stop letting me come over, then she will go to court to have him evicted. (NOTE: My former boss is friends with his mother)
I told him that she is doing some illegal shit here and he needs to contact corporate about it because not only has she said this to him but she's been telling his mother about "noise complaints" that he's had since moving in. (NOTE: These accusations are baseless because the old woman above him has been doing it since he moved in.)
I expressed my grievances with him and told him that he needs to put his foot down and set boundaries with his mother and the landlord. I told him that he needs to be direct and firm, but also save to get a different place because his mother helped him get this apartment. I feel like she wants to make him so co-dependent on her because most of his bills are already underneath her name, too. I am not trying to make the situation more complicated. I just want to see my child and be on good terms with her father.
I need advice because I do not know how to help him, and I do not want him feeling more stressed out than what the people around him are already doing. Please offer me some advice so I can pass that along to him as well because we are both trying to move on and be good parents to our child, but his family and the landlord are making it more about themselves than the baby.

I hided one chat by mistake 10 days ago, sorry. You wrote something about bulbasaur and I don't know your name, cause it happened so far. Please dm me again.
LF: (all Shiny) Pikachu with different hats and caps (see below), Nidorino/Ratticate/Wobbuffet with party hat, [Chingling], Mantyke, unowns, Eevee with hat (Party hat, Winter 2022, Safari Zone), Slowpoke with 2020 glasses, Pikachu/Vulpix with Halloween costume/Dia de Muertos Cubone, Rotom, Lapras with Bow (Blanche), Elekid from Spark, Ponyta from Candela, Psyduck with Christmas hat, [Cherubi] (all Shiny)
LF: costume Pikachus (Shiny) - all Shiny: Pikachu with ... witch hat (OctobeNovember 2017), [detective hat (May 2019)], red party hat (February/March 2020/February 2024) , Charizard cap (May 2020), Rayquaza cap (May 2020), libre Pikachu, Holiday Pikachu (December 2020), Pop star Pikachu, Rock star Pikachu (Go Fest 2021), [Safari Zone (November 2022 with two green balloons)], Eevee with Red Party hat, [Pikachu Go Tour: Hoenn With black white beanie (Brendan Hat)] and [Red May bow (February 2023)]*, Blue Citrus Shirt Pikachu (Jeju Island, South Korea July 2023), World Championships Pikachu (August 2023), Tricks and Treats Pikachu with Pumpkin costume (October 2023), Holiday Attire Pikachu (December 2023), Flying Bali Balloon -multicoloured and Special Balloon Pikachu, Batik Shirt Pikachu (both March 2024)

• costume mons: Nidorino/Raticate/Wobbuffet with party hat (all Shiny)
• Baby mons: [Chingling]*, Mantyke (all Shiny)
• costume Baby mons e. g. Pichu with black witch/ash hat (all Shiny)
• different unowns (all Shiny): F, I, J, K L, M, P, Q, R, V, W, X, Z
• different costume starters (all Shiny)
• Shiny Castform (Icy)
• Cherrim (Overcast, Sunshine) (both Shiny)
• question mark unown (non-Shiny)
• clone Pokemons excerpt Pikachu
• Spinda No. 1, 2, 3, 6 (all Shiny)

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
FT: all regionals like Comfey, unowns (non Shiny), CDay mons, (Ekans, Growlithe, Rattata), Hitmonlee, Alolan Sandshrew, Alolan Meowth, Alolan Marowak, purified Koffing, Sentret, Marill, Snubull, Sneasel, Torchic, Volbeat, Feebas, Wailord, Kricketot, Bronzor, Audino, Minccino, Makuhita, Larvitar, Seadra, Sudowoodo, Scyther, Cyndaquil, Absol, Rufflet, Burmy green, Panpour, Woobat, Buneary, Go Fest Pikachu August 2022, Inkay, Shellos, Lickitung, Woobat, Hisuian Avalugg, Helioptile, Hisuian Typhlosion, Wyrdeer (all Shiny), Spinda No. 9 from Valentines Day, unown G, Surskit, Galar Stunfisk
(Non-Shiny) all Regionals like Pikachu with Okinawan Kariyushi Shirt, Comfey and different non-Shiny unowns
Shiny Legendary/Mythical: Registeel, Regice, Mesprit, Uxie, Palkia, [Regigigas], Heatran, Cresselia, Terrakion, Ho-Oh, [Reshiram], [Kyogre (special attack)], Groudon (special attack), Cobalion, Virizion, Tapu Fini, [Tapu Koko], Tapu Bulu, [Kartana]*, Latios (all Shiny), Armored Mewtwo
Shiny Costumes: [Lapras with scarf], [Snorlax with Cowboy hat, Go Fest Pikachu with scarf (2022)], Cubchoo with bow, bulbasauCharmander with party hat, Pikachu with jewels (Red, green, yellow), Pikachu with white headscarf (Lumias hat) ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Please dm me.
PS: Maybe we can do shiny trades at the same time from your alt to my main and vice versa. My alts have Shinies too. DM me for more informations.
*[ ] means: maybe saved for another trading partner; just ask how it is the status quo.

Below is the opening to my solo playthrough of Phandelver and Below. I've never played the module, but I was introduced to D&D through one of it's many actual plays, and I've always wanted to play the story myself. I thought it would be fun to use my semi-familiarity with the story to run a solo game, allowing me to simultaneously practice my writing. The opening is meant to detail how the Wave Echo Cave was found by the Rockseeker brothers, and explain why my characters are willing to help old Gundren. Below you'll find my version of how the cave was rediscovered and get introduced to my first PC, a young gnome with dreams of becoming a wizard, Erkyfrune 'Kyfrune' Filkor. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!
​
The Lost Mine of Phandelver
A Solo-Play RPG
Nundro Finds the Cave
Gundren Rockseeker finalized his order with Umphrey Baggort’s General Goods shortly before the midday bell. He had a few hours before he’d be meeting Sildar at The Widow’s Tankard to go over their planned route one last time. They were to leave for Phandalin in the morning. There he would reunite with his brothers, Nundro and Thardin, and return to Wave Echo Cave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He still found it hard to believe they had found it. Five-hundred years it remained hidden, and all it had taken to locate it was Nundro’s constant clumsiness. He’d tripped, seemingly over nothing, and rolled down the side of a cliff, crashing to a stop amongst an outcropping of large boulders. Gundrin and Thardin had rushed down to him, only to find Nundro laughing like a madman, the dripping blood from his broken nose smearing across his mouth and beard, making him look like a cannibalistic court jester.
“Listen!” He’d shouted, blood spraying from his lips. “The waves! Do you hear them?!”
Gundren, sure Nundro had finally cracked his head one too many times, was hearing nothing more than the sloshing of his own addled brains, but Thardin lowered himself to the stoney ground and pushed his ears against the boulders.
“He’s right, Gundren,” Thardin said, ear still pressed against the large stone, “It’s as if the very Shining Sea were trapped underfoot.”
Nundro stood there, smiling, dripping blood into the dust and stone. “Wave Echo Cave,” He whispered, “It’s ours!”
They’d camped there amongst the boulders, using their picks and shovels to chip away the ground around one of the boulders enough to get their pry bars wedged solidly underneath. It took all three of them, hanging and hopping from the bar like the rumored monkeys of Chult, but they managed to shift it enough that gravity took hold and yanked the giant stone down the embankment, where it shattered amongst the less regal hills surrounding the eastern edges of Phandalin.
It took all of the next day to clear away enough of the stoney ground to reveal the small tunnel entrance that had been buried beneath rubble, rock, and passing time. The sounds of crashing waves seemed enormous in the silence surrounding them.
“We can’t simply walk into there with lanterns and a few day’s rations,” Thardin had said. “We’ll need to set up an excavation camp, which will require a trip back to Neverwinter.”
None of the brothers wanted to leave, but Gundren and Thardin agreed Nundro deserved to stay, being the true locator of the legendary site. They flipped a coin. Thardin won, and Gundrin left the next morning for Neverwinter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He’d gotten nearly everything prepared for his departure. There was just one final order of business to take care of, adventurers willing to see the wagon safely to Barthen’s Provisions. And, if they proved capable and loyal, perhaps they could be hired on to clear out the cave on the inevitable creatures that had occupied it during its many forgotten years.
He listened as the final ring of the city bells reverberated into silence, then turned north, heading towards Filkor’s Gadgets and Repairs. There he knew he would find at least one willing adventurer, assuming the boy’s father would let him leave the safety of the shop.
Kyfrune
Erkyfrune Filkor sipped his tea while his father adjusted the small spring in his latest iteration of a years-long obsession.
“I’m telling you Erky, I am this close to figuring it out.” His father, Erkaline, said. The it in question being a nail clipper capable of transforming itself to meet the varying needs of any fingernail, claw, or talon. “Once I finally figure it out, we can move out of this dump and into a properly respectable district. It’s not right for the descendants of Elisytris Filkor to be living in squalor. He was quintessential to the Forge of Spells, you know!”
Erkyfrune, Kyfrune to anyone besides his father, knew this very well. He’d heard the story more times than he could count. Who knew if there was any truth in it, but he loved his father, and feigned interest again, if just so he would be able to concentrate on the story and let his fingers work their talented tinker’s magic.
His father was just getting to the part where Great-Grandfather Elisytris single-handedly took on a trio of raiding bandits and their evil wizard overseer when the three bells above the storefront sounded, signaling a customer, one Kyfrune and Erkaline knew well. Gundren and his brothers had been coming to them for years, always in need of some intricate tool or another to assist in a prospecting project. Kyfrune had always felt a spark of envy for their adventurous life, delving into the ruins of the past for lost treasures and tomes. The latter interested him in particular, for even though his father disapproved, Kyfrune wanted nothing more than to learn the mysteries of Mystra and her magical weave that permeated the very fabrics of reality. Already he’d learned a few spells, and had even recently conjured his first familiar, a celestial wolf spider, he lovingly referred to as Walter.
“Couldn’t you have conjured something less…disgusting? A cat would have at least had fur.” His father had grumbled when Kyfrune had shown him his new magical pet.
“Walter has fur,” Kyfrune had argued.
“Nothing with eight legs should have fur,” his father had replied, shaking his head and returning to one of his seemingly infinite projects. “You should focus more on your craft. One day, you’ll be the Filkor that the sign out front is referring to.”
Kyfrune wasn’t a terrible tinker, but he’d never be capable of the wonders his father could produce. Besides, tinkering was Erkaline’s thing. He never said this, of course. Being a good son was just as important to Kyfrune as learning to bend the energies of the multiverse to his whim.
“Gundren! What can I do for you my friend?” Erkaline asked, removing the magnifying glasses he wore when working. “Need some more of those explosive crickets? How’d that first batch work for you?”
“Howdy Mr. Filkor, Kyfrune, everything going well I hope?” Gundren asked, removing the floppy hat he’d always worn since Kyfrune had known him.
“Can’t say I can complain, anything that’s wrong I just haven’t gotten round to fixin’ yet, and what can’t be fixed, can be made anew” His father laughed at this old joke, and Gundren, the kind patron he was, laughed along as well, even though he’d heard this one probably every time he’d come to the shop.
“Too true Mr. Filkor, your capable hands are powered by an even more capable mind. I, ah, am not actually here for any services you’d normally provide. I’m actually wanting to offer Kyfrune a small job,” Gundren turns to the younger gnome, “I’ve heard you’ve a decent grasp of the weave, any truth in those rumors?”
Kyfrune, bringing the cup of tea to his mouth for another sip, was caught off guard by the unexpected question, and spilled most of his remaining tea over his work shirt. Rather than answer Gundren, which his ever-present social awkwardness would have caused him to stammer meekly through, he waved his hands over his sodden shirt and muttered a simple incantation. The tea, lemon ginger with lots of honey, simply faded, leaving his shirt dry and spotless.
“That’s quite the trick, any bandits or goblins with brains in their skulls would run screaming from such deadly powers,” Gundren laughed, not unkindly. “Seriously Kyf, do you think you could provide protection for a wagon of supplies I’ve ordered? It’s not going far, just down the High Road a ways and east along the Triboar Trail, to a small settlement called Phandalin. It’d need to be brought to a gentleman named Barthen. He owns Barthen’s Provisions, and will pay you 10 gold once you’ve delivered the wagon. Normally I’d go with it myself, but I’ve got to meet Nundro and Thardin as soon as possible,” he leans closer and whispers, “We’ve found something. Something pretty big. If you do well with the wagon, maybe I could bring you in on the excavation of a legendary site, thought to be lost to time.”
“You can’t mean-” Erkaline began, but Gundren cut him off with a curt wave.
“Best not to speak of anything now. Ears and eyes are known to be anywhere, and I’m not wanting any competition. What do you say Mr. Filkor, can you spare young Kyfrune for a week or so, two out the most?”
Kyfrune looked to his father, who rubbed his large nose and pulled at his forked beard, largely white now, with only a few streaks of the once inky black that had been its original color. He wasn’t going to beg or plead. He loved his father, and would do as he bid, but oh sweet Mystra, please let him say yes.
“I suppose, if you can promise it’d be no more than a week or so, I could spare my apprentice,” his father began, then turned to Kyfrune, “But Erkyfrune, you listen and listen good. I never liked your messing with this magic nonsense, but I understood your youth. Consider this your pilgrimage into the world of adventure. Upon your return, I expect you to set aside these childish fancies and start putting the work in that is necessary for you to take over the shop. Agreed?”
Kyfrune’s heart somehow managed to soar and plummet at the same time, leaving him with a momentary feeling of unsteadiness. To finally be given approval to venture forth into the world, a world that wanted him to wield his magical abilities, only to have the approval tethered to a promise to walk away from his dream. His father’s serious eyes looked at him expectantly.
“Yes, Father. Your terms are agreeable, and I thank you for allowing me to experience an adventure before settling into my destined path.”
His father’s gaze faltered momentarily, but he quickly regained his composure, turning to Gundren, “Well Gundren, it would seem you have yourself a wizard. You’re not planning on sending my boy out on the road alone are you?”
“Of course not, sir. He’ll be accompanied by at least two more souls, although I’m not sure of who they are as of yet.”
Erkaline smiled, “I’m sure the great city of Neverwinter will provide you with a couple more adventurers for your quest.”
Gundren nodded, then placed his hat upon his head. “I’ll need Kyfrune at The Widow’s Tankard by ninth bell,” he looked to Kyfrune, “ I’ll have the contract ready and’ll buy you dinner. I’ll show you the route you’ll need to take, and, perhaps, I’ll fill you in on more of the details.” His eyes glinted with excitement. “Be well Mr. Finkor,” he said, then walked out the door. The three bells above the door sounded very loud in the quiet shop. Kyfrune turned to his father, who was putting the magnifying glasses back into position and settling himself at his workbench.
“I suppose I should pack my things,” he said.
“I suppose you should son,” Erkaline looked up from the nail clippers that he hoped would change his and his son’s lot in life, “Be careful, okay. Take in the world, experience your adventure, heck, shoot off some of those spells you know, but please, be careful.”
Kyfrune walked around the bench and hugged his father tightly, then walked upstairs to his small room to pack. He’d never felt more excited in his entire life.

If you're interested in baby registry boxes but don't know which one to try or how to even sign up for them I have some info for you here! I got boxes/bags from Target, Walmart, Amazon, Hey Milestone, Babylist, and Similac and I'm still waiting for a box from Enfamil. I'm not an influencer or someone paid by these companies I just really like surprise boxes of stuff. I have pictures but I don't know how to add them. Anyway onto the lists.
Target:
How to get: This appears to have changed recently. According to target.com you join the Target Circle rewards, create a baby registry, add 10 items, and spend $10 from registry (either yourself of someone else). You have to pick up the bag in store with a barcode they give to you and it can be somewhat difficult to get since supplies are limited. When I did this in March all I had to do was create a registry and then go to the store to pick up the bag.
Items:
1 Philips Avent Natural Bottle
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
2 pack sample of Millie Moon Diapers
16 count sample of Huggies Natural Care wipes
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 count sample if Boogie Wipes
1 sample of Dreft scent booster for laundry
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Dapple bottle and dish soap
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 sample of Auqaphor baby ointment
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Triple Paste diaper rash cream
All coupons are through Target Circle rewards
Walmart:
How to Get: Sign up for a registry at Walmart. Click this link https://walmart.cesampling.com/babybox/soldout and fill out the form and it would be shipped to you for free. Unfortunately these boxes have been sold out since last year but maybe they will restock. I only got one because my OB’s office gave it to me at my first appointment. You’re not missing much by not getting one.
Items:
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
16 count sample pack of Huggies Natural Care Wipes
1 sample of Arm & Hammer baby laundry detergent
1 sample bottle of Johnson’s head to toe wash and shampoo
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 pack of milestone month cards
Insert cards (not coupons) for Gerber, WaterWipes, Liquid IV, Aquaphor, and Arm & Hammer
Amazon:
How to Get: Have an Amazon prime account. Create a baby registry. Add 10 items to your baby registry. Purchase $10 worth of items from registry (either yourself or someone else). Wait for the items to ship and then add the baby welcome box to your shopping cart. There should be a $35 coupon applied when you go to checkout.
1 Newborn Swaddle size 36in x 36in
1 Amazon Essentials 3-6 month onesie
1 Mam Anti-Colic Bottle and Pacifier set
1 Bessie's Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
50% off coupon for Shutterfly
10% off coupon for Amazon Essentials (items must be from a list compiled by Amazon)
$20 off coupon for Tylenol Smart check digital ear scope
$200 off Factor meal delivery service
Inserts (not coupons) for Palmers, Aquaphor, Baby Breeza, Mam bottles/pacifers
A card booklet with ideas for the registry
Hey Milestone:
How to Get: Hey Milestone is not a registry. They make three different baby boxes you can choose from and you just pay shipping. If you’re considering multiple boxes it’s best to get them all at once because the shipping will be cheaper. Shipping for one was $12.99. I only got one, the pregnancy box, so I can't tell you what you may expect from the other two. Check them out here: https://www.heymilestone.com/
Items:
1 full size Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier
1 Herobility 5 oz bottle
1 sample pack of Bamba peanut butter puffs
1 Kudos diaper with 10% off coupon
1 Dr Browns pacifier
1 Nanobebe hospital go-bag kit (includes pacifier, 2 breastmilk bags, 2 nursing pads, 20% off coupon)
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 Preggie Pop
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
10 count sample pack of Zahler prenatal vitamins
1 sample of Bella B nipple butter
1 sample of Bella B cradle cap be gone shampoo
1 sample tube of Eucerin baby sunscreen
1 count sample of Jack n Jill baby gum and tooth wipes
1 nail file with info for Mother’s Milk Bank
10% off coupon for Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier from Amazon
$130 off good chop meat delivery
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
$1 off Bamba snacks
1 insert for Forsite 350 genetic testing
Babylist:
How to Get: This one is by far the most involved process. Create a registry on Babylist. Enter in your baby’s due date, you address, and first and last name. Add three items from the Babylist shop. Add three items from other stores (you can do this by putting a plug-in from the website on Chrome or Firefox. More detailed instructions on the website). Complete 40% of your registry checklist (you can do this by just checking items off yourself). Spend $30 from your registry at the babylist store (either yourself of someone else). The $30 must be spent on items from the babylist store! Once these things are done you can pay $8.95 for shipping or you can chose simple shipping and it’s free.
Items:
1 Herobility 5oz bottle
1 Philips Avent Natural bottle
1 Monica and Andy baby hat
1 Small Story 0-3 month onesie and 20% off coupon
1 Parker bib with 15% off coupon and a chance to win $200 giveaway
1 Nanobebe first pacifier
2 pack sample of Kudos diapers with 10% off coupon
2 pack sample of Healthy Baby diapers
2 pack sample of Parasol diapers
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
10 count pack of motif medical breastmilk bags and 15% off coupon
1 sample tube of Noodle & Boo body wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Noodle and Boo lotion
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Wellements probiotic and $15 off coupon
1 sample tube of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Desitin
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Bird&Be vitamins and 15% off coupon
1 sample bottle of Vivi & Bloom body wash and shampoo
2 samples of Triple Paste diaper rash ointment and $2 off coupon
Coupon for a free onesie from Oso and Me ($32 value)
Coupon for free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for a free will from Trust & Will
Coupon for free Swaddle from Little Unicorn
1 insert for babylist health for information on free breast pumps
Similac:
How to Get: Sign up to my Similac rewards at https://www.similac.com/rewards.html . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use though and don't put in your phone number.
Items:
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care formula
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care Sensitive formula
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for 1 free session at JC Penny portraits and 1 free 8 x 10 print
Coupons for $50 off Similac formula (They will send more in the mail once you use these)
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
Coupon for 50% off Shutterly
Coupon for $20 off Lovevery play kits
Coupon for $3 off Pedialyte
A collection of 12 gift cards to places I’ve never heard of ranging from $60-$30
Enfamil:
How to get:
Sign up for Enfamil Beginnings at https://www.enfamil.com/baby-formula-coupons-samples/ . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use and don’t put in your phone number. I’m still waiting on my Wonder Box to come. They tend to ship close to your due date so I may get it soon.
Overall thoughts: I enjoyed the fun of going through the boxes to see what I got. The Walmart one is no great loss to anyone not able to get one. I was disappointed with the Amazon one because I expected it to be a bit better based on what others had gotten. Plus I didn’t get the Dude Wipes people were getting and I was looking forward to them lol. The Babylist box was the best of the bunch, which is good considering the hoops you have to jump through to get it. Hey Milestone was great for the butt paste and bottle alone. I was also really pleased with the Target bag. These are just the things I got and each box/bag may be different.