At the title suggests, I'm going to be doing a game soon where all the players create normal, modern-day people that are then all killed by random freight trucks, isekai style, and wake up in a "character creation" room in character. Once they've made their characters, they get to choose one "parting gift" from a table full of what look like random tchotchkes that will give them each a special power based on what they pick... but they don't know that part, in character, and the players don't get to know what the power is until after everyone has picked their gifts.
Not all of them need to be created equal, but all of them should be the kind of thing that would make game balance in a normal campaign go cry in the corner, and I'd like a big enough list that there will be many left un-chosen, so I'm reaching out to you all for more ideas.
To give you an idea of what I'm going for, here's what I've come up with so far:

• A faded plastic worm with segments in a rainbow of colors.
  • "What a Great Worm!" - Your character is now a Greatwyrm of the type of your choosing, with all the powers and abilities thereof. They still gain levels as normal. If any of their attributes are higher than the Greatwyrm's they can keep the original attribute instead.
• A Bowser action figure that looks like it's been chewed on.
  • "Just Watch Out For Plumbers" - Your character is now The Tarrasque. They still gain levels as normal. If any of their attributes are higher than the Greatwyrm's they can keep the original attribute instead. You are capable of taking a Medium-sized Humanoid with the same statistics as the Tarrasque, or reverting to your true form, as a bonus action.
• A Christmas ornament in the shape of a little plastic star with half the glitter missing.
  • "Star Light, Star Bright..." - Your character can cast Wish at will with no loss-chance or backlash, but the maximum effect scales with their character level.
• A mangy rabbit's foot with a cheap metal cap on the back stamped with a four leaf clover.
  • "Luckier For You Than The Rabbit" - You can pick what face any die you would roll lands on, and it counts as if you had naturally rolled that number.
• A pet rock covered in dust
  • "You Will Never Have To Part... At Least Not On Your Pet Rock's Account" - Your character is immortal. They can't ever be reduced below 1 HP, and cannot die for any reason under any circumstances, even if they want to. They are also immune to aging, natural or otherwise, and will regenerate any form of physical maiming on a long rest. They do not require food, water, oxygen, or rest.
• A mostly empty disposable lighter
  • "I Am The Fire Starter" - Your character can cast any fire-based spell at 9th Level, at will, and they are immune to fire damage. They also heal for an amount equal to the fire damage they would have taken.
• An empty cardboard box
  • "Nothing! Absolutely Nothing!" - Your character gains a Fly speed equal to their walking speed, has Truesight to line-of-sight, and can become Invisible and Intangible as a bonus action. The character can also selectively change the state of any creatures or objects they are wearing/holding/touching at the same time they change themselves, or instead of themselves. The effect lasts until another bonus action is used to revert the state or the character loses consciousness.

Who at Amazon came up with the idea to create pick and stage work procedure? And who at the top level came up with the idea for employees to stand in line like soldiers for this thing they call morning stand ups at beginning of shift? And where did the inspiration for these rules come from? This is exactly what we do at OUR delivery station.

It seems that every time I go to the Costco gas station I see some offender committing Cardinal sins against the Costco gas line and I feel like if everyone followed these simple rules, we would all have a better experience.

1. Pick a line and pay attention to when a pump opens up.

Most locations have a display that will tell you which pumps are open. You don’t need a personal invitation to pull up.
Be ready to move forward to the pump. Unless the person behind that open pump is already in their car with their vehicle started, we’re going to need you to go ahead and move your vehicle up to the open pump promptly.
Most locations utilize extra long hoses that will reach across your vehicle easily. Don’t be afraid to pull the pump to the other side if that line is shorter. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen 5 cars queued up while there’s 3 open pumps in the next line.

1. Have your card(s) ready when you arrive at the pump.

While you are sitting at the pump is not the time for you to dig through your purse, wallet, or glovebox looking for your membership and payment cards. Those should be ready to go when you arrive at the pump. You’ve been sitting in your car for presumably the last 5-10 minutes so the least you could do is have these ready. I know it will take away from you being able to watch cat videos in the queue, but it will really help everyone else out.
Additionally you should have your gas door popped when you get out of the car and you should know what gas you need. It’s Costco, there’s only two choices.

1. Be ready to return the pump when it stops.

While pumping you should be paying attention to your pump. When it clicks remove the pump from your vehicle, replace it on the island, close your gas cap and return to your vehicle. Other people are waiting so we would all appreciate if you kept it moving. If you haven’t gotten all the trash out of your car by the time the pump stops, tough luck.

1. Once you return to your car start it up and leave.

I know you have a 30 item pre trip checklist that you need to go through, do that in the parking lot. I’m so tired of people sitting at the pump for 5 minutes after they finished. There are other people who need to pump also so please take your extracurricular activities elsewhere in the parking lot.
Things you don’t need to do while parked in front of the pump after fueling include, but are not limited to: adjusting your mirrors, tuning the radio, looking through your purse or bag, feeding children, putting on makeup, making phone calls. In fact the only thing you should do is put your seatbelt on, and even that can be done on the move.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I hope that these protocols can help you or someone you know not be THAT GUY in the Costco gas line.

Compared to the Jedi Knight and Sith Warrior (the only 2 classes I've complete so far), there doesn't seem to be any cohesiveness in the crew make up or dynamic. It feels like I picked up strangers from the street. And said strangers don't bother talking to each other, all staying in their corner of the ship. It's off-putting. Compared that to Vette/Peirce and Quin complaining about each other. People making comments about Broomark. Kara, Doc, and T7 having banter.
Even the expansion companions of Koth, Theron, and Lana have something.
Not only that but it seems that the requirement for these people is just "show up and be there". They just invite themselves into the ship after having little to do with the story at large or even my character (side eyes Asmara and Talos in particular). For example, I've seen justifications as to why Kaliyo is there but it just doesn't work when my Agent is a staunch Empire patriot who makes light side, non-confrontational options when possible. She's no longer in Hutt control, she should've left after I told her friend on Nar Shadda to run before the bounty Hunters arrived.
EDIT: And my agent would've dumped Kaliyo the moment she realised that she was lying about her past and used it to manipulate me. It's too much of a liability considering my line of work and my agent has a 100% kill rule for backstabbing.
I don't feel the need to connect with any of them, save Khem Val cos they feel so... separate. Like they should be the companions of a different class or not at all.
I wish there was the option to reject them if they ask to come aboard. I wouldn't keep Ahsara, even as a light side inquisitor. She just doesn't work.

Today, I am finally healing. No contact with my whole family and I have no one to prove anything to but myself. I don’t need to work hard to feel loved by anyone. But I am realizing I didn’t pick my field bc I love it and am proficient in the subject matter. I picked it because of the recognition it got me. I was able to go to conferences, present research, and get a little stipend for it. I am bringing my trauma responses into work in a way that feels like transference. I am not ok.
I was a super high achiever but realize my only framework is to work until I burn out. In school, this worked because there was always a finish line. That isn’t the best fit for a long-term professional career. I have been working for less than 5 years but I’ve quit two jobs before I could burn out. I left a positive mpression with some but I know I left a bad taste in someone’s mouth. I may have inadvertently burned bridges in an industry that is very niche. I may be seen as unreliable by my colleagues despite the initial strengths that brought me here.
I find myself lashing out due to the work I took on when I was more of a people pleaser. I find myself being too tired and disinterested in my job. I am too slow and don’t do things with a lot of attention to detail anymore. It’s a very social environment and I just have pulled away from everything that isn’t obligated.
I feel like I want to step away and do something mundane. Make less money but feeling happier overall. I wish I could have passion and drive like my colleagues but I just don’t give a damn anymore.
Idk what are y’all up to?

Ok here's the deal.. and this is 150% TRUTH!! I was shopping at Gabe's clothing store as I got to the VERY back corner of the store to the clearance shoe section, I saw a pocket book sitting in the floor beside the bench where ya try on shoes, so I obviously glance around to look for a woman near by and saw NOBODY. The next thing I did was bend down pick it up and sat it in the front of my buggy right beside my purse, and I then did like I thought any decent person would without hesitation, I turned and started walking to the VERY front of the store where ALL their employees were standing at the registers, which are lined across the front of store. I didn't look shady, I wasn't acting nervous, and was not trying to sprint to the door! I walked normal heck even stopped for a second and looked at a few more items as I walked to the front. I was simply trying to make my way to an employee of Gabe's so i could give them the pocket book and inform them someone had left it back the shoe section probably trying on shoes and sat it in the floor when they sat on that bench I spoke of, and left the purse sitting in the floor. I am seen clear as day on the stores camera doing EXACTLY like I have described to you all. Here's where my world goes all to hell though.. Before I could even get to an employee or the registers, two officers came in and walked straight to me (still don't understand how) and they treated me like a dang criminal not letting me even tell them I was on the way to give it to the employees at the registers, they were very mean and cuffed me right there in front of everyone, then dumped my purse out, for what reason I have no clue, then of course found nothing illegal considering I am not a criminal, and they made me leave the buggy and walked me outside. We got out there and it's dark but i over hear them talking to the owner of the purse that I tried to turn in so nobody would take it. I didn't know this at first because I never looked in her purse but she had like 600.00 and a bunch of change and credit cards. She laid everything on the hood of the car made sure all was there, oh she also had a prescription for xanax in her purse, so she counted them and they were all there. She then looked over at me and thanked me so much and apoligized the cops were doing me like they were. So that alone says I DID NOT STEAL ANYTHING RIGHT? Huh, you would think.. well she got to go home and get out of the cold, while now the cops have me standing at the hood of the police car and they are going through my purse again. WHY!!! The lady just jumped for joy while thanking me for trying to turn her bag in and therefore protecting all her money and meds, so what the hell were they doing that to me again! I had my own money and its ironic but I also had my prescription for xanax. Kinda crazy ya know it lol! Anyway, I had nothing at all illegal and as I have mentioned I STOLE NOTHING AND WOULD YOU NOT THINK THAT THE COPS SHOULD KNOW THAT BY THIS POINT? I was starting to think they would take the cuffs off any minute now, but instead they shove me into the back of the cop car!!! FOR FREAKING WHAT!? I HAD NOT COMMITTED A DANG CRIME OR EVEN CAME CLOSE TO BREAKING THE LAW!!! Of course I start crying not because I am sad or scared but I was PISSED AT THAT POINT! To make it even worse, I had my 22 year old applehead chihuahua with me and I begged them to let him just sit there for like 15 min max it was Oct. so not too hot, and my fiance was going to hurry and pick him up with my car, they would not even do that for me.Instead they took him to the freaking pound!!! And even when I bonded out I had to leave my baby in there all night long. Just don't forget, I HAD NOT BROKEN A SINGLE LAW AND WAS PUT THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP! So to shorten this up sorry my fiance had to leave his job and spend 300 bucks to bond me out from being arrested for what!!! Hell the bondsman didn't know why i was even there! They left me sitting in booking probably because it was all bs, and made no sense! I had never ever been in any trouble my whole life. I just finished the medical billing and coding program through Penn Foster, and I was sick when I finally found out what they were trying to charge me with.. THEFT UNDER 1000.00 AND SIMPLE POSSESSION/CASUAL EXCHANGE!!!! Is that not so messed up? I didn't steal anything so how the hell can they do this to me and a dang drug charge! I AM BEING CHARGED WITH THE POSSESSION FOR THE PRESCRIPTION THE STRANGER LADY HAD IN HER FREAKING PURSE WTF and IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW CASUAL EXCHANGE IS A DRUG DEAL!!! HOW THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? So now we are out the 300 bucks, 2500.00 for a lawyer that has not talked to me once outside of court, and court costs that will be outrageous! WHAT REALLY RIPS MY HEART OUT IS IF I CAN'T BEAT THESE BOGUS CHARGES ON JUNE 10 IT WILL SCREW ME OUT OF MY BRAND NEW CAREER THAT WAS ABOUT TO START. I WON'T GET A JOB IN THE MEDICAL FIELD WITH A THEFT AND DRUG CHARGE. This is all true not blown out of proportion at all and it is so unfair. My step dad is a cop in that county and my mother works for the sheriff himself who is best friends with my step dad and they don't like me and make my life hard every chance they can. So of course mother got into my business which should not be allowed and ran straight to my son, who I had finally started rebuilding a relationship with which made her mad, she told him I stole from someone and made a drug deal so he has not spoken to me since october and will not let me come to my only childs graduation this year and get to see my baby boy walk across the stage all because my mother ran her mouth to my child. I need advice on if and how I can maybe sue them for defamation or slander and get order of protection because this has went on for over ten years with her. She has broken laws etc and used the fact that step dad is a cop and they have went on motorcycle rides to Sturgis etc with the one and only judge who happens to be over EVERY case I have went through because of them. They took my little girl before we were even discharged from the hospital and she forged my name on the birth certificate. I can go on for days and have paper documents to prove every single thing I just don't know what to do about it. Most importantly I NEED HELP OR ADVICE VERY BADLY ABOUT THE POLICE TRYING TO STICK ME WITH COMPLETELY BULL CRAP CHARGES THAT WILL END MY CAREER BEFORE I EVEN GET TO BEGIN AND ALL THE HARD WORK IN SCHOOL WILL BE FOR NOTHING. I AM ALL TO HELL. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
S

So to premise this story I’m from a small town in the PNW where Karen’s aren’t very far and in between. This also isn’t the first Karen experience I had at this same store. Names changed for identity privacy. What I want to know was I rude for my comments?
I (F22) and my boyfriend (M20) we’ll call him Bob, was spending the day with my boyfriend’s uncle (Mark). As Bob had recently moved back to our state very shortly before we met, we both wanted to spend time with his family. Mark had to go see his ex wife while in town, so we decided to go walk across the street to our local Safeway and visit my mom. It was really nice considering I don’t get to see her very often since I moved to the next town over, and we had conflicting work schedules.
When we left the store we decided to kinda just hang out on the sidewalk outside the front of the store while we waited for Mark to come pick us up.
In enters Karen.
Karen walks by Bob and I eating a Dairy Queen blizzard. Being the random social people my boyfriend and I tend to be we asked her what flavor of blizzard it was. She stopped for a second and just gave us a dirty look, then walked in the store. Turning to my boyfriend I said something along the lines of saying “she seemed grumpy” and “someone musta shit in her cheerios. She’s having a bad day.” We didn’t think we said it too loud but we kinda just laughed to each other and just kept hanging out. Karen with her ultrasonic ears must’ve heard us and she came out screaming.
“WHAT THE F**CK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!”
At this point when we stand up she’s right in my face. Bewildered as hell I said “we just asked about the flavor of your blizzard. I make weird small talk. It seemed like you had a bad fucking day and we talked about it to each other. You do not need to get up in my face.” She continues to scream demanding I needed to get out of her space. I explained that she, came up to me and we were waiting for family to get us. She then proceeded to start throwing insults in my face calling me every name in the book. A fat btch. An ugly cnt, just to name a few of the mellow ones. And when she started to talk shit about MY Bob. I told her to back the f*ck up and leave us alone. I can handle being yelled at but I don’t appreciate my partner getting berated.
That’s when it happened. She SPIT her nasty orange phlegmy spit ALL over my neck, mouth, and chest.
All Hell broke loose.
I am a 6ft tall, 200 and some pound woman at the time and I do not like to engage in physical altercations but my blood was boiling. It took everything in my power not to take that blizzard and dump it on her. I said something about her being a real Karen and kinda a btch and someone really must have sht in her cheerios this morning. She proceeded to call me a C U Next Tuesday and walk into the store.
Dumbfounded by what happened I walk to my mom’s manage my ex boss while wiping the spit off my chest and face and explain the whole situation. He seemed a little shocked about the situation. I mean so was I. I got SPIT ON.
He asked me what I wanted to do. Thinking back on it, I could’ve had her charged with assault but being horrible with confrontation and just getting over spending the first two months of my relationship with mono and going to the ER I didn’t want the next few months dealing with a police report. She got kicked out of the store instead and she got banned for harassment. I just went and told my mom about it.
Hearing from my friend later who works there as well Karen left, but not before claiming I had been the one to spit on her, not her spitting on ME. The Manager let her know he saw the spit on me and will be checking the cameras to see what happened. She was flabbergasted saying she’s going to sue the store for not banning me for being rude and bothering her nice day.
I cleaned myself up and enjoyed the rest of my day unbothered. Although I did take two showers that night, I do still wonder what flavor that blizzard was. AITA for asking about her blizzard flavor and the cheerios comment?

So one of the regulars at the cafe I work at always creates a scene when she comes in. She smashes her hand against the tablet to type in her pin to pay, which of course doesn’t work with the touch screen. Meaning she has to keep re doing the interaction, getting more hostile each time. Puts her card in upside down, so the payment won’t work. And if I ever try to help her, she gets mad and says it’s not her fault, and there’s “something wrong with my tablet”. She ends up holding up the line and just pisses me off. She also will nip pick at my words, if I phrase something wrong she will fixate on it, or even will mishear me then get mad at me. She comes in every day that I work too.
Anyone have any tips to deal with her? Or even just to subtly mess with her without making me or the cafe look bad.
For context, I’m the assistant manager, it’s a small business, I do not want any advice that would hurt the sales significantly, but I don’t mind loosing her as a customer.

“Well…..frak.”
Those were the only words Corporal James Diogenes could think of to describe his current situation. Behind him, he watched as his comrades turning tail and running away.
“Cowards. Cowards one and all.”
He spit into the dirt towards his former allies then turned towards the other part of his problem.
Xenos. A large army of Xenos, one that was far more disciplined and had far more bodies than command had assumed. He couldn’t remember what they were called or even remember the name of the planet he was on. He couldn’t care for either topic. He wasn’t surprised that the Intel he and his colleagues had been fed was wrong, it often was, but never to this degree. The enemy outnumbered the imperial army forces at least 7 to 1 if not far more. Their tactics were similar to those employed by the imperial army but their population meant they could do more tactical maneuvers, on more fronts, at the same time.
Why the imperial navy didn’t annihilate those armies from orbit, James would never understand. Given his current situation he most likely wouldn’t get a chance to ask. He checked the magazine on his auto-gun, the rifle being rather old by the standards of the current imperial army but its age held up as it punched through most body armor he came across.
“…..Frak.”
He cursed again as he inspected the magazine. Three, maybe four rounds left before he was out? He looked over his shoulder and sighed. The cowards took the ammo with them along with any other supplies they could carry, leaving an empty trench and a few rows of rusty flay-wire.
And James but he chose to stay behind.
A low chuckle escaped him as that thought came to mind. He shook his head as he took his spot in the trench. He wouldn’t win this fight, he was sure of it, but by Terra and in the Emperor’s name he would make them bleed. He would make them hurt.
The few rounds he had in his magazine were gone in no times at all. Four enemies laying in the dust and being trampled by their friends was proof of that. He smiled grimly as he watched his enemies march towards him. They had all bowed their heads slightly, seemingly expecting more shots. That got him laughing. A few bullets and a whole army was shaking before him. He wondered if this is what the primarchs, the emperors daughters, felt like whenever they were on crusade.
He tossed his empty rifle to the side. His smile grew as he held his knife, gripping it tightly as he watched the advancing line of xeno scum. The leather of his glove strained as his hidden knuckles grew white from how tightly he gripped his knife. He considered for a moment what he’d do when the enemy came into the trench. He knew he would fight and die, but he wondered how many of them he’d kill before they took him down.
He reached back behind him, grabbing the Krak grenade he had attached to his belt. He held it tightly and used the middle finger of his knife hand to pull the pin. He held close, holding the striker lever down to ensure it wouldn’t go off until he let go of it. Then he waited.
The world closed in. Darkness tinted the edge of his vision as he watched his enemy march ever closer. Nothing existed save for him and the enemy. He knew what this was. Adrenaline, anticipation, and fear all coming together to activate his fight-or-flight response. He whole body felt charged and he had to stop himself from jumping out of the trench and running…..where? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t guarantee his body wouldn’t turn tail and follow the rest of the imperial army back to the transports.
He adjusted his cap, scratched his bearded cheek and continued to watch. Watch and wait. That was all he could do now. His breathing grew heavy and erratic, his teeth barred, and a low growl escaped him.
The marching stopped.
He stared and waited.
A ploy? A chance to surrender maybe? Were they simply calling in artillery on his position?
That last thought stopped him. Artillery. Would they call artillery or an orbital strike or some other long distance attack on his position?
No. No, no, no, no they wouldn’t escape him that easy.
He scowled and climbed out of the trench, charging the Xenos line with a roar. The knife was raised over his head, holding it in an upside down fashion, as he sprinted towards his enemy. He refused to die to some cowardly artillery strike, he absolutely refused to be turned into a red smear on some backwater planet that no one would ever remember or care about.
The enemy….ran. They ran! He laughed as he chased after them. It didn’t make sense and he didn’t care. He couldn’t care, he was beyond caring.
“Get back here you throne damned bastards! GET THE FRAK BACK HERE!”
He slowed down long enough to toss the Krak grenade, laughing loudly when he saw it go off and take a handful of Xenos down.
The blood….was blood always so beautiful?
He continued running after the enemy before he stopped again. He stopped running cause something had stopped him. He didn’t understand, his legs were still under him, he was still alive, he could still fight!
“Kraking, bastard, filthy xenos, kill you all-“
“Shut up.”
He stopped talking, the voice snapping him out of…..whatever that was. He regained control and realized why he stopped running. Something had picked him up. He stared down at the ground only to realize how high he was above it.
“Hnngh, let go of me.”
He turned towards whatever was holding him only for his eyes to grow wide.
There stood….a woman. A very big woman with metallic dreadlocks poking out of her skull, her armor exposing skin and flesh in the fashion of a gladiator of old. He stared at him with a raised eyebrow and a silent growl as a twitch of pain or anger made her right eye close for a half second.
“Excuse me….heh….corporal.”
She said his rank as if it was an insult, even going as far as spitting on the ground after she said it. She held up by the back of his flak vest like he was little more than a lost puppy. She treated him like he wasn’t worth even talking to and that he was some stupid grunt who was simply in the way.
Space marines raced past both of them, ignoring them in favor of chasing after the retreating Xenos. They….were gonna steal his glory.
“Let me go damn you, the fights over there!”
The woman laughed loudly. Her head held back as her laughter echoed over the battlefield. A part of him thought her laughter was the most horrific and beautiful sound he ever heard, but it was overshadowed by his growing rage.
“You wouldn’t do-hnngghh-do anything to those alien freaks by yourself. Go home boy. Run with the rest of your fri-“
He swiped at her and smiled widely when he saw a small, paper thin cut open up on her cheek. A small trickle of blood dribbled down her skin as her smile disappeared. Her free hand came up and wiped at the cut. She studied the small swipe of blood on her finger. The cut was nothing, it wouldn’t even scar and she had lost far more blood then this in the blood pits. But something about this man taking a swipe at her, daring to cut her, daring to even consider killing or harming her…..
She smiled widely and put the man on her shoulder.
“You. I like you. You’re mine now little man.”
He tried to jump off but she held firm and turned away from the battle. Her sons would handle the fight. He roared on her shoulder and struggled against her grip, his rage growing as he did everything he could to get into the fight and kill. He wanted to, no needed to spill blood. He needed to kill, he needed to make them bleed.
But this goddess in bronze wouldn’t let him. She walked away and set him down in a space marine Rhino. He didn’t know her, he didn’t know why she took him, and he didn’t care. Instead he sighed and hung his head as he lit a iho stick.
“Don’t worry Corporal, there will be more glory to be had.”
He stared at her. His eyes were bloodshot, his body covered in dust and he felt exhausted.
“Hnngh…frakking….throne damn you….”
She smiled widely at that and pulled the trigger on her chainaxe. She then turned towards the driver.
“On second thought, hmm let’s go. I wanna see what you got little corporal.”
He smiled at that and stood up, popping his neck. He exhaustion was forgotten for the time being as the thought of killing those damned Xenos got his blood pumping and made him want to move.
“By the way.”
The giantess spoke as the rear hatch opened, revealing the same battlefield he had just left.
“My name is Atalanta.”
Please note: I’m not a writer and this whole story came to me while I was in a shower and from my lack of artistic skill. Sorry if it’s trash.

It was late November 2015. I was 51 and one year past my divorce (which was not related to cheating) when I became so disgusted with myself that I knew I had to pick myself up. I was alone for the long holiday, and although I wasn't really sad or lonely, I felt empty. However, I had some extra time to consider how does one picks oneself up.
I made a list of potential New Year resolutions that were individually realistic. Some were really easy and stupid like “have your chipped front tooth fixed” and “take & post a selfie”. These smaller tasks fueled my confidence and provided the energy boosts needed to tackle the more challenging resolutions, like starting a weight loss challenge at work.
Skip ahead to March 4th 2016. I had a Friday lunch date with a married client that I met two weeks prior. Of course, it was not a real date, as I wouldn't impose myself on a married woman, nor would I risk my career or my ego, especially if the signals she seemed to be sending were just a product of my wishful thinking, stimulated by checking off some boxes on the list on the fridge dated 1/1/16.
The following is my thank you note to her for a great date as well as for helping me check a lot of boxes over the past few weeks. I sent her a link to it as it is in the form of my first ever online post (one more check box, YAY!).
************************************** We were only 1 minute in the hotel room; her jeans in a ball on the floor. She sat at the foot of the king sized bed and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard. I followed as If attached by a leash. I landed somewhat awkwardly on my elbows between her legs finding myself squarely face to face with the tattoo. This tattoo, that she so shamelessly revealed just a week ago, the same tattoo that has been scorching my thoughts and the same tattoo that she promised me complete and unlimited access.
It’s been a long time since I have been here or anywhere near as nice as here, between the legs of a beautiful woman 20 years younger and far out of my league....even when I was her age. I took a second to drink in my fortunate situation. I admired her panties. All day I was so hoping she would wear those same panties as before. She didn’t. These were different but similar enough. The delicate lace and silk perfectly framed the tattoo on her hip. She did not disappoint. There is a fruity jasmine scent, intoxicatingly pleasant, and oh so subtle. It is not here. I’ll need to find its source. I want more of that. (I remember being thoroughly impressed and thinking to myself “This girl is good”.)
I briefly forgot that there was someone else here besides myself and the tattoo. How long have I been down here perving out on her? I wondered. I hesitated, and then apologetically looked up half expecting a well-deserved snarky glare. What I found instead was an ear to ear compassionate smile followed by a tilt of her head and an arch of her eyebrow that said “I like that you like that, carry on”.
With confidence restored that we were still in sync, I adjusted myself so that I was in a good position to thoroughly enjoy what I came to do. I kissed the tattoo hard and gave it a good lick. The challenge for today was “Taste the Tattoo” and I won. I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to. I continued to kiss and taste all around until every freckle got some personal attention. As I got to the upper most reaches of her inner thighs, I looked up to check in as I was about to cross a new line. For the first time she was not looking back at me but had laid her head back deep into the pillows, her eyes closed. I took that as a yes!
I marveled at the softness of her inner thighs on my cheeks as I gently placed kisses up one and down the other. As I kissed her through her panties, her hips responded by arching her up in anticipation of each next kiss. Before long, those wonderful panties were just getting in the way. I stopped and pondered whether to just slide them aside or remove them or to risk interrupting the mood and attempt a complete wardrobe removal as we were both still fully dressed except for her jeans.
I didn’t have to ponder long as she knew what she wanted and it was not any of the options I was considering. Still lying back with her head semi submerged within the pillows, she held out her arms as if gesturing for a hug. I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss.
Unbelievably, this was our first kiss. I found it odd that we had not kissed yet and was grateful she thought to stop for a moment to have a kiss. We kissed some and then I settled in to thoroughly enjoy it. However, the kiss to come was not the kiss I was expecting or a kiss I was ready for. It was a kiss that could ruin everything.
Technically, there was one kiss before. It was an awkward kiss 5-10 minutes earlier just after we entered the room. All in about the time it took for the hotel door to close behind us, she tossed her bag on the sofa, had her jewelry off and set on the nightstand while I emptied my pockets and silenced my phone.
We approached each other, and as we met I was looking at the place where the tattoo would be under her shirt and behind her jeans. They were higher cut and could not be pulled down that far to get to the tattoo. They would have to come off. To just reach in and do that would be an uncharacteristically bold move for me. But I did have unquestionable permission to have the tattoo in any way that I desired. I reached down with both hands and took hold of the waistband on each side of the button. I didn’t see her simultaneous move in at me at first. Just as I felt the metal of the button, I felt her reaching her arms around my neck and realized that she was tip toeing up for a kiss. It caught me unexpectedly and I think it showed on my face that it did. I tried to recover and moved back in to accept her lips on to mine but it turned into an awkward peck.
I scolded myself for the selfish moment and just as I was trying to formulate a recovery gesture, she, without missing a beat, gently dismissed my fumble and gracefully restored the momentum. “Oh” she said with surprise in her tone, while looking down at my fingers ready to release her button. Then, in a more playfully quizzical tone, she followed with “I guess you want to get right to THAT then” and she stepped back away from me where I lost grip of her jeans. She replaced my fingers on the button with hers, paused, maybe waiting for me to look up to her eyes, which I finally did, then flashed me a devilishly naughty smile and pulled her jeans down to the top of her boots. She then proudly announced, mostly to herself, “You really are going to let me have fun with you, aren’t you!” seemingly shedding any doubts in her mind that I would go through with this. She then sat at the foot of the all white linen king sized bed, removed her boots and jeans and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard.
Back to our kiss. The kiss that from now on I will reflect on as our first kiss
Responding to her hug gesture, I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t flub it this time, but again, I didn’t know it was coming, and prolly I should have. It took only ten seconds to adjust and synchronize to each other’s kissing form. It was warm and succulent and sweet and was wonderful. I really was surprised at how nice this felt. I don’t recall married kissing being this enjoyable. I remember saying to myself “Damn, this girl can kiss”.
I was on top, in a position that wasn’t going to be comfortable for as long as I wanted this to last, so I backed away to reposition but she held tight indicating she didn’t want me to move. I gestured at the space next to her and she relented. We then settled in facing one another side by side; her smile confirming that this was a nice place. We were hugging and kissing, pulling each other closer and looking into each other’s eyes. Our legs intertwined and our hands were roaming, but not really in a sexual way, more like trying to make as much body contact as possible. I couldn’t get over how I felt so much more familiarity than there was. What I did not recognize at the time was that this was the physical intimacy catching up to match the virtual intimacy we have been sharing online.
Soon the intensity escalated and it was getting very hot very quickly. The intensity and passion that was building was not something I ever expected or planned for. This was the rare kind of making out where accidental hickeys happen and inadvertent “Oh god I love you’s” slip out. Not that either of those was going to happen but my safe, non-committal no emotional strings encounter was getting too hot to not risk introducing emotions into the situation. And that could happen.
At some point I was no longer kissing her lips and mouth but was kissing her.
I broke contact to catch a breath and maybe get some control of the fire. We stopped for a moment to breathe and cool off. She slid herself on top and I rolled over on to my back to accommodate her. She looked at me with eyes that appeared to agree that it was a good time to slow it down. She closed her eyes and she seemed to enjoy that I was rubbing her back with both hands that I slipped up under her shirt. She presented her lips for me to kiss and then her cheek for the same, then neck and ear and lips again. Her long hair had fallen down around us, surrounding our faces like a vail creating a tiny private and even more intimate space. Inside here it was darker and the temperature and humidity rose quickly. We were breathing each other’s breath between kisses. All of a sudden I noticed that Jasmine was back. Not subtle this time, but deep and fulfilling. I loved it.
This fragrance stuff really works. The next morning just after waking up, I caught an unexpected subtle whiff on my skin under my watch and my heart jumped by 20 beats. Who’d a thunk it possible?
The passion was building again but since I was aware and cautious now, I wanted to enjoy and go with it. I thought I could keep it measured and I did for a while as it does take two. The kissing slowed to half and so did the passion. However, the rest of our bodies started to make up for it and the touching evolved into the sexual. She was still on top of me and my hands were exploring and squeezing on her panty covered butt, then under and in those panties. Her body contact became more targeted as she was now very deliberately mashing her fun stuff all over my fun stuff. The kissing subsided but replaced with the audible accompaniment of her squeaks, moans and quicker breathing timed with her mashing I was no longer in control. The passion was under control but being replaced with something intimately erotic.
I abruptly escaped by gently rolling her over on to her back then getting up and knelling between her legs. I took a moment to catch my breath and wanted to say “That is getting WAY too intimate. Can we get naked and have sex now?” However, I tugged at her panties and said something dorky like “can we take these off now?” Yes, we were still both fully dressed except for her jeans
Since I am the kind of guy who doesn’t kiss and tell, (well, only tells about the kisses) and this is not the forum for it, I am not going to talk about the sexy part over the next 30 minutes. I will tell you that we did finally each get ourselves unceremoniously naked and then the sexy part finishes where it started, with me finishing all over that beautiful tattoo. Of course I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to.
*************************************************
Cuddle time. Our snapchats leading up to this encounter were heavy on the anticipation and buildup but didn’t contain a lot of detail about or define what stuff would happen during our “fun” time together.
Me: “Ok then, tomorrow lunchtime, I’m in.”
Her: “OMG Are you saying that you are REALLY going to come here and let me have fun with you?
Me: “I’m REALLY going to come there. I am REALLY going to fully inspect that tattoo, as well as the neighborhood where the tattoo lives.
Her: “I so can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Me: “WOW….Now that this is real and going to happen, my heart is beating so hard that I am afraid that people can see it through my shirt.”
Her: “You have to tell me, are you being SERIOUS right now? You can’t say this and not show up. It’s OK if you are teasing, but you have to say so that you are now….not tomorrow!!!”
Me: “I am SERIOUS and I PROMISE I will be there. You have gotten to me, BAD. All week with the way we have been talking..err..I mean snapchatting; I can’t get you out of my head. Then today with those tattoo snaps you sent; I can’t get up from my desk. LOL…..NOT kidding NOT teasing.”
Her: “I am BAD, and I like having FUN. I am going to have so much fun with you!!!”
************************************************
The only specific things I recall us acknowledging we would do with our “fun” was tattoo inspection and cuddle time. So as soon as cleanup from sexy time was done we both knew what time it was. For me, as good as the inspection was the cuddle was better. Just as during the sexy time we changed things up and we got to cuddle many ways. We started face to face full contact hugging just like our kissing time with some but less kissing and more being in the moment.
We were still hot (temperature hot now) and sweaty so that didn’t last long. She turned over and we spooned some. I was still craving full body contact but it was still so hot that we had to separate a bit. No contact spooning if you will, with just my one hand caressing her exposed shoulder and arm and hip with an occasional butt cheek squeeze.
It was about that time that we had our first ever personal conversation. On the project there were lots of flirty banter and some personal stories but almost always as part of a group. We had many phone calls and a few project meetings with just us two but never did the conversation get personal. Until now the only personal talks (Chats) we have had have been via Snapchat. I don’t recall who asked the first question of the other, but it was like a dam broke and we started filling in the details of our lives, our feelings and all the things we chatted about.
There was a lot to tell and we were giddy like children (child) best friends re-meeting on the first day of school catching each other up on our summer vacations. At one point she had something compelling to say and faster than a fish out of water she flipped back to facing me so she could gesture with her hand and punctuate through her expression. She landed close. Closer that I think she meant to at first and just a bit awkward I felt. But I was wrong. She didn’t back up an inch. I really couldn’t see her hand but I could feel that she was using it in the 2 to 4 inches of space between our chests. Her face was right into mine. She would lean back or up just an inch when she wanted me to see her eyes or smile or frown for emphasis, then settle back into the pillows with our foreheads or noses or cheeks touching. It was the farthest thing in the world from awkward.
If there was a recurring theme for the day it would be HOT; in every sense and synonym of the word. Again, it was getting too sweaty to remain that close. This time she broke contact to catch a breath and escape the heat. We stopped talking for a moment to breathe and cool off. She sat up, crawled to, and grabbed the (sexy time) clean-up towel that was at the far foot of the bed. She turned around so that she was kneeling facing me as she brought the towel up to her chest to absorb the beads and drips of sweat that had accumulated. As I watched, I again thought of my great fortune to be right here right now feeing what I feel and seeing the beauty before me. She pushed the towel down across her belly button and it fell into her lap.
I observed the soft sunlight reflecting off the white sheets, the white towel, and the white pillows bathed her in perfect light creating just a hint of subtle shadows in all of the right places on her angelic white skin. I started consciously taking photos with my mind. I wanted to capture every nuance and note every detail. I don’t know if I will ever be here again.
I don't recall if my next realization was comprehended in a split second, or if it took ten seconds to develop, but a terrible fear washed over me that for the first time in forever, she was beyond my touch and her next action might be to look for her panties or go jump in the shower. We were after all, deep into the second hour of her hour long lunch.
As I was preparing myself for the pain soon to come, I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I had the BEST DAY EVER, but I felt like an exhausted child who just watched the Disney fireworks finally and knows what that means.
What the hell? What is happening in my head? I don't even know this girl, let alone have feelings for her beyond she made my dick feel good at lunchtime.....and, I guess my ego is healthier since I met her. I have not cheated on my diet since she turned on the flattery the week before. I was sure it had to be somehow manipulative, but I hoped that if only a 5% chance it wasn't AND she liked me AND her mom was single, made it easy to keep my snacking to peas & carrots.
My self esteem has been skyrocketing too, as I have been checking a lot of boxes on my refrigerator. LOL, so many in fact, that I have been adding things to the list after they happened that I didn't dare put on it as they seemed pretty unobtainable just two months before. "Get sent a nude selfie, check. Have the confidence to send one back, check. Take a hottie 32 year old client out to lunch and fuck her brains out, check.
Did I just discover that I like girls who make my self esteem feel good more than I like girls who make my dick feel good?
Shit, that wasn't even on my top ten list. Smart, funny, pretty, Kind, whatever is the opposite of bitchy, fun in bed, boobs and/or an age appropriate figure is always nice, curious, someone you can trust to see you at your worst. Before today, "genuinely being a boost & support of my self esteem" was 10th.
Then BAM. I was hit in the face with the towel. Damn girl, I hope you can handle a spanking because I was just on the verge of making an interpersonal discovery of some importance over here, I thought to myself. I noticed the slightest or possibly mock look of concern on her face as she asks "you're not having any regrets or second thoughts over there are you?". I reflexively replied "Oh god no". Then with some emphasys, I continued "today was incredible. I REALLY needed this and you were PERFECT, thank you".
Again she did not disappoint. She crawled to the top of the bed on the far side and then to me over the pillows and laid down at a 90 angle to me on her stomach parallel to the headboard with her head nearly right on top of mine. She propped herself up a bit on her elbows and we kissed deeply. It was nice.
I made a few attempts to shake my internal drama, get out of my head and get back to my goal of picking my self up after my divorce. Oops, I mean back to pleasing a beautiful woman who clearly was not yet done having her fun with me. The emotional rollercoaster ride over the last hours, days & weeks completely blew out my brains ability to generate or absorb endorphins or whatever happens in a situation like this. Shortly after we had joked around while showering together, kissing goodbye (just like when I kissed my endorphin killing ex wife) and going on back to our separate lives.
I drove the hour or so home, brought my dog to the park and had healthiest and happiest cry I ever had. I don't know what I was feeling or why, but I was feeling again and it brought me much relief and contentedness.
We texted a bit that evening confirming that we each enjoyed our time together and agreeing that we should do that again sometime. The next day, Saturday, her husband took their 5 & 8 year old sons somewhere for the day. We checked in with each other again over text and chatted some about our lunch but the spark or excitement we usually had was not the same.
I reached out again that evening and asked if she was in a place that we could talk on the phone. She resisted but did call me (our first personal phone call). It took her 24 hours to let her cry bubble up. It turns out that our emotional experiences were remarkably similar, albeit from different perspectives.
She much later reveals that she felt emotionally dead for her hubby. She evolved to a bad place where she wanted fuck anyone but her hubby but still fucked him twice a week and had to appear happy to do it, killing her brain chemistry.
We rode the best and worst roller coaster in the world for 6 or 8 months....until the the Cocaine eventually wore off or the unobtainable became obtainable and it wasn't the the same rush for either of us any longer. She was the closest thing to a drug addiction that I ever felt. I never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted her.
My hope is that this story helps one person answer the question "Why the hell would he/she risk giving up their wonderful & loving family for an hour with a douchebag or a skank?"

Let's try for a repeat!
My picks on left. 2 oz each. Taking up to 5 bets per line.
110 PM EST
Marlins/Tigers F5 u4.5 u/AdDramatic5488
210 PM EST
Nationals +1 v White Sox u/AdDramatic5488
340 PM EST
Reds +1 v DBacks u/AdDramatic5488
805 PM EST
Rangers -1 v Guardians u/AdDramatic5488

Memory Transcription Subject: PFC Alus, Yotul auxiliary to the UN Spaceborne Infantry
Date [standardized human time]: March 3\**^rd 2137, 1000 hours ship-time
After Gutierrez showed me to our compartment, and I dropped off my duffelbags, he began leading me to the Armory, where I would be assigned my rifle and 'sensitive items' as he put it. As we walked, my mind churned with more questions.
"Hey, uh, Guts. Back in the supply compartment, you mentioned the 'USMC'? That's the American Marines right? I thought you were UN Spaceborne infantry."
"Yeah, so, I am a Marine. Marine to the core. But Earth sorta got thrown into this whole clusterfuck without having a properly unified military, and instead of trying to set up a whole new service from scratch, they got the big five on the Security Council, being us, the Brits, the French, the Chinese, and the Russkis, to pitch in units. So you got Marines and Army making up the American portion of the SI, and Navy and Airforce making up our part of the fleet. Same for every country that pitched in, even some outside the UNSC." Gutierrez explained, his hands moving about animatedly. "Right now it's a hot mess because none of the standards, paperwork, or anything changed, but I guess they'll probably formalize and standardize the SI and Fleet after all this shit is done. All we currently got that's the same is rifles, uniforms, and equipment. The traditions and paperwork and shit are all wildly different from one countries units to another, and sometimes even within the same country's units because of different branches. The US Marines and US Army for instance, we share a lot of the same shit you know, but our low-level paperwork is branch-specific, and our organization is different."
I thought for a moment about what he was saying as we walked though the passageways, pondering on the idea of what a truly united Human military could accomplish, if everything Humanity had done so far was with a truly thrown-together force. As I looked up again, I saw we were approaching the armory, and mentally filed my next question away for later. We crossed through the threshold, and I found myself standing in front of a grated window, another Human on the other side.
"Sarn't Johnson, I'd like you to meet our new Yotul auxiliary, Alus. We're doing inprocessing, and need to get his weapon and equipment drawn and assigned."
The new Human looked down at me curiously and smiled, before reaching down and grabbing a few sheets of paper from under his desk.
"Alright" the Sergeant said, before moving deeper into the armory, stopping at a weapons cage, before unlocking it and inspecting the rifles line up inside "So, what are we billeting him as?"
"Just an 0311, needs a rifleman's kit and associated gear" Guts replied, leaning forward to watch the Sergeant.
"Gotcha. Just gimme a minute here."
Guts and I watched as the Armorer pulled a cart over, and picked out a rifle, laying it down on the cart, and locking the cage, before moving to the next rack and removing a small black bag, repeating the process along the line of cages across one wall of the armory, before coming back to the front, and pressing a button on his desk. I heard a click from a door next to the grated portal, and Gutierrez waved for me to follow him through the door, and into the armory.
The Sergeant had sat back down, and was poring over what appeared to be a checklist as he inspected each piece of equipment, ticking them off down the list one by one. When he was done, he clipped it to a clipboard, and handed it off to Gutierrez, before looking toward me.
"So, Heard you fellas went through some sorta training dirtside, so you should be familiar with at least the rifle?" He asked, picking up a notably shorter version of the standard UN rifle I had qualified on Earth with.
"Yes, ours were longer, it kinda seemed like they weren't really meant for non-Humans to use. We could all barely aim them shooting, uh, offhand I think it was?"
"Yeah, sounds about right for an indoc unit. The M-36 is a piston gun so it's good bit heavier out front than the old M-16's the Corps used to issue way back, Mag in the back kinda balances the whole shebang on the carbine variants" he slapped the side of the firearm he was holding "But on the full length rifles they're just ungodly long barrels. Ay, Guts, something like a 28-inch heavy barrel on the old M-36A1's?"
"Yeah, something stupid like that," Guts said, looking up from the paperwork he had been signing, as he set it down on the table. "Marines wanted a gun that was the same length or shorter than an M-16, Piston, and could reach out to like 800 meters with 5.56. I think Bushmaster pulled out some old relic from the 20th century and just modernized it? I remember the K&M lawsuit right when we started getting the A1's back in 2130, but yeah."
The sergeant nodded and turned back to me, pointing at the firearm again "So, when the Corps finally removed their head from their fifth point of contact-"
"Their ass" Gutierrez helpfully interjected, grinning
"Yes, But anyways, They saw some issues with going back to a full size rifle, and got carbines made to replace the A1's for combat arms. Shorter barrel, shorter gas system, shorter receiver, way lighter out front. Super nice shooting guns to boot. Bushmaster also sold them on this neat quick-change barrel system they thought up too, so now we have a bunch of smoothbore barrels for flechettes, rifled barrels for traditional ammunition, pencil barrels for riflemen, heavy barrels with bipods for autoriflemen, in a bunch of different lengths. These fuckers are modular as hell."
The sergeant had what was probably the widest grin I'd ever seen on a Human as he finished talking, and it very nearly took me aback, despite the Yotul, myself included, not having the same issues with Human mannerisms as the wider Federation.
"I-I'm not gonna have to carry all of those, right?" I asked, hesitantly, and Gutierrez broke out laughing, while the sergeant suppressed a chuckle.
"Nah kid, we just pick a rifle and swap the barrel to the one you need for what you're doing. Mostly just makes shit easier on my end really. You're just getting a carbine-length pencil barrel, lightest of the bunch."
The Sergeant shifted, bringing the rifle to his shoulder, and pointed it at a canted barrel, sticking the muzzle in, and pulled back the charging handle, sticking a finger into the rifle's ejection port, before looking in, and releasing the charging handle, before pulling the trigger with a 'click'. He then held out the rifle for me, and I took it, surprised at how much lighter it was than the one I had been issued in training.
"So, one M-36A2." the Sergeant said, before pulling a metal cylinder from a small pouch, and peering through it up at one of the lights, before getting up and grabbing a metal rod, and walking over to me. He stood alongside me, and slipped the cylinder over the muzzle of the rifle, before inserting the rod down the barrel, and peering closely at a small gap around the rod.
"And one suppressor. Clears the rod check so that shouldn't give you any issues. Guts should be able to explain the adjustable piston to you so you don't get gassed in the face while you're using it." With a quick twist of a collar on the back of the tube, the armorer pulled the device off the muzzle and stuck it back in it's pouch, and picked up a larger cloth case. He pulled something that looked like a visor on an articulating arm from it, and inserted a pair of batteries into a cylinder that ran along the top.
"This here is the AN/PVS-101 'Fused vision system'. Little heads up display that links up with the rest of your fireteam, and also has thermal and Infrared overlay. Just a fuckin' neat piece of kit honestly. Datalink is hardened to all hell, and the whole system's idiot-proof. I've seen ones that pre-date the Satellite Wars. Uses an accelerometer and gyro system to keep track of where you are in the area, and can pulse lidar to give you visuals in full pitch-black. You can also mark obstacles, enemy troops, vics, whatever with eye-clicks, and the system keeps track and spreads that out to all the linked systems. Plus there's a version that goes to the fireteam leader, which transmits all that collated data back to company level, and gives them an up-to-date picture of everything that's going on. Just honestly fuckin' cool."
He then held up a square plate on the back of the arm to his forehead, and withdrew a small box from the back and touched it to the back of his head.
"The FVS mounts to the socket on the front of your helmet, and the Processing unit just mounts to the rear, acts like a counterweight too which keeps your neck from hurting nearly as much while you're using it."
Placing both items back in the cloth bag, He finally held up what was obviously a handheld radio, and a set of earmuffs.
"This is the AN/PRC-255. It's a radio, and might as well work with Angry Pixies. I know it's got a 60 mile range, and hops frequencies, and the Comms nerds have some kind of black magic ritual to make them work. The hearing protection doesn't have some letter-and-number name, but they hook up to the radio, and they'll also link up to other headsets nearby like the FVS to communicate without radio. The Radio isn't nearly as impressive as the FVS, and the hearing protection hasn't changed in a meaningful way in about a hundred years. 3M is the Browning of comms gear, I swear. And, that's petty much it."
I looked at the neat pile of equipment sitting next to the carbine, and looked down at my hands, realizing I had nothing to carry any of it with, before looking up at Gutierrez.
"Is it alright if you carry some of this, I don't think I can carry it a-" I said, before I was cut off by laughter from Sgt Johnson.
"Nooooooo, no kid." The sergeant said, wiping tears from his eyes. "This all stays here unless you actually imminently need it. It's assigned to you now, but it stays under lock and key." he explained, while Gutierrez seemed to look simultaneously aghast and about to burst into laughter. My abbreviated training had failed to explain a few things, it seemed, as I had simply assumed that they had locked up our equipment because we were were trainees.
"See, everything in here is either VERY killy, or VERY expensive. And Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines around Earth all have a penchant for shenanigans, and breaking anything they touch. Occasionally themselves too, if left entirely unsupervised with dangerous objects. So we don't let any of you have things which can be described as 'Killy', 'Expensive', or 'Killy and Expensive' unless it's specifically pertaining to the task at hand, Rah?"
"I, uh, see yeah. Rah?" I replied, somewhat dejectedly, and slightly confused.
"Rah." The Sergeant said in reply, and began to load all of the 'Killy and expensive' equipment back onto the metal cart, chuckling to himself still, as Gutierrez tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey, chow's in about an hour, let's get you back to the barracks so you can get your OCUU's on, and outta those class-B's right?"
"Yeah, that sounds good, I don't think I've eaten since before I arrived at the Orbital, I'm starving" I said, as I followed the Spaceborne Infantry Marine out of the Armory's door, and back down the passageway to the berthing areas of Grunt Country.

By my count, there are 15 T5 ships available for just dilithium or a level 40 token, which someone might want a starter build for to help them finish off the episode missions and start the reputation grind. My Strict Budget Build covers the three science vessels, the Baby Step series covers the three cruisers with tactical ensigns, Quick Looks 1 and 2 cover the Hegh'ta Bird of Prey and the Jem'hadar Escort, and there's definitely an argument to be made that some are just bad choices. But there was one more I wanted to take a look at here. This series will not be as thoroughly researched as those previous series, and it will not feature optimized skill builds (there are many resources for that), but the builds will be proven in the Badlands Battlezone and in solo Defense of Starbase One Advanced, as well as extensively parsed in the Wanted (Argala System) patrol with comparisons to similar builds. That should adequately demonstrate that they can get you whatever reputation marks you need, using only mission, basic (generally Mk XII uncommon) Exchange, and Phoenix Store items. Each build will be allowed one Mk XV item to maintain parity with the Strict Budget Build, usually a forward weapon. It's also easy enough to put these together that I could be persuaded to do more if there's a ship that deserves it.
So, why the Vo'Quv? Well it's in the name, it's a carrier. Hangar bays are expensive to boost in this game, but that means they have to be balanced to have pretty good base damage. In this case the two hangars did more than half the damage of most of the other builds in this series with hardly any support for them. The downside to carriers is that they often sacrifice a lot for those hangars. Not so for Flight Deck Carriers, which are pretty much full cruisers, or any of the single hangar types, but the science carriers like the Vo'Quv don't really have an obvious path to getting ship damage, especially on this budget. Their turn rate is terrible, which is a problem for most things, they have only 6 weapons so getting a lot from energy weapons is out, and they don't have a secondary deflector, which did do more on my science vessel build than the hangars did here.
So where did I end up, then? Well, with 6 science ability slots and not a ton of options I couldn't see not using them for some direct exotic damage. And since that required me to face forward, and the turn rate was terrible and I couldn't do much about it, I concluded that I'd have to use turrets in the rear with either beam arrays or single cannons forward, the two widest arc weapon combinations possible apart from pure turrets, although their damage potential is limited. The Chronometric set also seemed like a must have, providing a large amount of EPG and some Polaron cat1 from the tac console, and a bit of aux power from the 2 piece, but I wasn't sure whether I'd want the Morphogenic set or not, since it would mean sacrificing a cannon. Then, I went to the TRINITY DPS Calculator from STO BETTER and started plugging in some rough options. Single cannons outperformed beam arrays even with the Chronometric 3 piece, so that settled that, and getting the crtd from the Morphogenic 3 piece and Cannon Scatter Volley was well worth losing a forward cannon for the torp. Attack Pattern Beta proved a bigger contributor than expected thanks to boosting the exotic damage as well, which is why that's at 2 and CSV is at 1, and easily outperformed including a Torpedo Spread as well. Finally I switched the power settings away from a balanced configuration toward weapons over aux and aux over weapons, and the high aux version did best. So that was the build.
How did it perform? Well it was sluggish, obviously, I expected that. But the DPS was pretty impressive and was reflected in how quickly it got kills. And the survivability was pretty good, with a lot of hull and pretty good healing I really couldn't complain, except that it was so sluggish it was hard to run out of range and heal if I needed to. On the other hand when I did withdraw the fighters kept fighting, contributing to the highest Wanted Elite DPS of any of the builds in the table with only one attempt needed to survive the whole mission (the science vessel could do better by charging in and dying a couple of times, but needed to play cautiously and sacrifice its CPB to survive). They were even powerful enough to handle the Birds of Prey in Starbase One Advanced without any help from the mothership, potentially even without player input, which could be convenient.

Captain Details

Captain Name	Stilt
Captain Career	Science
Captain Faction	Federation
Captain Race	Vulcan
Primary Specialization	Temporal	The best specialization for exotic builds, as well as for ground builds and a good generalist option, it provides debuffs, damage boosts, EPG, and survivability

Space Skill Tree

Rank	Engineering		Science		Tactical
Lieutenant		Advanced Hull Capacity			Advanced Energy Weapon Training	Advanced Projectile Weapon Training
Lt. Commander	Improved Electro-Plasma System Flow	Impulse Expertise	Improved Control Expertise	Drain Expertise	Targeting Expertise	Defensive Maneuvering
			Control Amplification	Drain Infection
Commander	Hull Plating				Advanced Weapon Amplification	Advanced Weapon Specialization
Captain	Defensive Subsystem Tuning		Advanced Exotic Particle Generator	Advanced Long Range Targeting Sensors	Advanced Hull Penetration	Advanced Shield Weakening
Admiral					Coordination Protocols	Advanced Tactical Readiness
					Defensive Coordination
					Offensive Coordination
1 Points Left	8		11		26

Space Skill Unlocks

Purchases	Engineering	Science	Tactical
2	Hazard Emitters III	Science Team III	Tachyon Beam III
5	Battery Expertise	Sector Space Travel Speed
7	Feedback Pulse III	Photonic Shockwave III	Jam Sensors III
10		Maximum Shield Capacity
12			Tractor Beam III
15		Control Resistance
17			Viral Matrix III
20		Shield Drain Resistance
24 (Ultimate)			Focused Frenzy
25 (1st Ultimate Enhancer)			Frenzied Assault
26 (2nd Ultimate Enhancer)			Team Frenzy

This skill tree is my generalist one from Strict Budget Build part 2, and it pretty much needs to be. This build relies on both energy weapon and exotic damage, so it can't afford to neglect either one. There are other generalist skill trees, of course, but that is what you'll need to be looking for, any single purpose tree isn't going to get the job done.

Ship Loadout: Vo'Quv Carrier

Slot	Item	Notes
Fore Weapon 1	Polaron Cannon	The one Mk XV, single cannons are usually a poor choice, but they will outperform beam arrays forward/turrets aft and provide 180 degrees of firing arc
Fore Weapon 2	Polaron Cannon	The Vo'Quv suffers from terrible turn rate so it doesn't want weapons with narrow arcs, but it needs to face forward for the exotic damage
Fore Weapon 3	Morphogenic Polaron Energy Torpedo Launcher	Here for the 3 piece set bonus providing 30% crtd to the whole ship
Aft Weapon 1	Heavy Chronometric Polaron Turret	Mostly need a turret, 2 piece provides some aux
Aft Weapon 2	Morphogenic Polaron Energy Weapon	Another turret, and contributes to the 3 piece
Aft Weapon 3	Polaron Turret	Just a turret
Deflector	Solanae Deflector Array Mk XII Very Rare	Provides more EPG out of the box than any other mission reward
Impulse Engines	Sol Defense Impulse Engines Mk XII Very Rare	With the bonus from getting hit this does just provide the best total turn rate out of the mission rewards at 14.7 degrees/s, replace with Fortified Competitive rep engines
Warp Core	Obelisk Subspace Rift Warp Core	This build only hits 122 aux so this doesn't actually help, could consider Deuterium-Stabilized but the benefit is minimal
Shields	Sol Defense Covariant Shield Array Mk XII Very Rare	2 piece is nice for survivability, alternative would be Jem'Hadar 2 piece for a bit of Polaron cat1.
Devices	Exotic Particle Flood	Crafted in Science R&D. I do have to admit that the materials are a little hard to come by, and Admiralty (with account unlocked ships) is the best source I've found.
	Deuterium Surplus	Evasive Maneuvers in battery form, and you can collect 4 per day from the Alhena system.
	Delta Alliance Reinforcements Beacon	Handy damage boost
3 Engineering Consoles	Console - Engineering - Trellium-D Plating Mk XII Very Rare	Good survivability console, could use a Neutronium instead
	Console - Engineering - Polaric Modulator Mk XII Very Rare	Boosts Inertia, which is rare, as well as turn rate, and slipstream turn rate at warp
	Console - Engineering - House Martok Defensive Configuration Mk XII Very Rare	Boosts turn rate and provides some survivability, an RCS would work too
4 Science Consoles	Console - Science - Temporal Disentanglement Suite Mk XII Very Rare	Nice crit and durability boost, plus some power.
	Console - Science - Temporally Shielded Datacore Mk XII Very Rare	Slightly less EPG than Particle Generators but it makes up for it with the CtrlX
	Console - Science - Particle Generator Mk XII Uncommon	Just need EPG
	Console - Science - Particle Generator Mk XII Common
2 Tactical Consoles	Console - Tactical - Morphogenic Matrix Controller Mk XII Very Rare	For the 3 piece and some polaron cat1
	Console - Tactical - Chronometric Capacitor Mk XII Very Rare	Good EPG, some aux from the 2 piece, and some Polaron cat1, and this build uses all of it
2 Hangar Bays	Hangar - To'Duj Fighters	These provide more DPS than any other hangar that's available by default, and they come with the ship, they will die in heavy AoE content, otherwise use two
	Hangar - Delta Flyers	These have slightly less DPS than To'duj but almost never die in any content, but do require a level 65 KDF character for Cross Faction Flying. Could substitute B'rels for more DPS loss

Officer Details

Bridge Officers
Lt. Commander Tactical	Tactical Team I	Shield distribution and debuff clear, may cause firing cycle problems but I haven't seen it
	Cannon: Scatter Volley I	Excellent weapon damage buff and also spreads APB to up to 3 targets
	Attack Pattern Beta II	Unusual to slot this above the firing mode, but it boosts every damage source and weapon damage is only ~1/4 of the total
Lt. Commander Engineering	Emergency Power to Engines I	More than doubles speed and provides +2 turn rate, essential mobility for any build
	Auxiliary to Structural I	Excellent heal and damage resist, and on a very short cooldown
	Emergency Power to Weapons III	Major energy weapon damage boost
Commander Science	Hazard Emitters I	Good hull heal and debuff clear
	Destabilizing Resonance Beam I	Good exotic damage, used with GW
	Photonic Officer II	Cooldown reduction
	Gravity Well III	Good exotic damage and control
Lieutenant Science	Science Team I	Shield heal and debuff clear
	Tyken's Rift I	Exotic damage, alternate with GW

Traits & Duty Officers

Trait	Name	Description	Notes
Personal Traits	Astrophysicist		A little bit of EPG
	Cannon Training		A little more cannon damage
	Conservation of Energy		Significant exotic damage while solo, but stacks don't last long
	Deft Cannoneer		Boosts turn rate by 1, on this build we need it, from Cannons R&D
	Fleet Coordinator		One of the best traits in the game when on a team
	Give Your All		Excellent hull damage resistance, from Engineering R&D
	Operative		Some extra crit
	Particle Manipulator		The most powerful trait for exotic damage, +50%/+29.6% crth/crtd on this build, from Science R&D
	Photonic Capacitor		Extra Photonic Fleet is nice to have
Starship Traits	None		Unconventional Tactics from completing Strategist is definitely worth slotting here, but I kept it cheap.
Space Reputation Traits	None		You'll start picking these up very quickly, Precision and Advanced Targeting Systems are top picks.
Duty Officers	Projectile Weapons Officer		"Law" from A Fistful of Gorn, a bit of a pain to get there, but worth having
	Projectile Weapons Officer		A common included in my first duty officer pack
	Astrometrics Scientist		Uncommon, also in my first pack, handy to have set
	Conn Officer		From Phoenix, a must have for mobility in any build

This table shows all damage sources in one Wanted Advanced run, with multiple lines from the same source summed together.

Source	DPS
To'Duj Fighters	6594
Delta Flyers	4504
Gravity Well	3571
Photonic Fleet	3170
Polaron Cannons	2889
Destabilizing Resonance Beam	1728
Chronometric Turret	1156
Polaron Turret	1001
Morphogenic Turret	994
Morphogenic Torpedo	855
Tyken's Rift	839
Drain Infection	708
Entropic Rider	144

^{Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit}
Now, let's talk keybinds. In STO on PC you're going to want to learn keybinding eventually, and most of it's not too hard and can be done through the chat window (although it is arguably better to create a separate text file with your binds, that's more complicated). The first thing I always do is to set up a secondary fire weapons button through settings, usually V, just in case I screw up and my intended fire keybind doesn't work. While I'm there I usually set Distribute Shields to Left Shift, it's a pretty good survivability boost, although a lot of people do say it can mess up firing cycles, but personally I've never noticed a problem. Then, the commands you'll want to know are "FirePhasers" or "FireAll", "+power_exec Distribute_Shields", and "+TrayExecByTray # #", where # is a number. Note that the list of commands needs quotation marks around it, and commands should be separated by "$$". So if you typed the following into the chat: /bind y "+TrayExecByTray 0 0 $$ +TrayExecByTray 0 1 $$ +TrayExecByTray 1 2 $$ +TrayExecByTray 1 3" That would create a keybind so that y would activate the first and second abilities in the row labeled 1, and the third and fourth abilities in the row labeled 2 (0 in a keybind means 1 in the UI, 1 means 2, 2 means 3, etc., that's just how it works), starting with the fourth ability in 2 and then proceeding backwards. From there on in it's personal preference, put things where they feel natural to you, where you're used to them being. What I use has evolved naturally over time, I make no claims that it's efficient, just that I'm used to it, and I use it on everything. For fire weapons, distribute shields, Emergency Power abilities, cooldown reduction, often Aux to Structural, and anything else I just want to keep active I use spacebar, like this: /bind space "FireAll $$ +power_exec Distribute_Shields $$ +TrayExecByTray 6 0 $$ +TrayExecByTray 6 1 $$ +TrayExecByTray 6 2 $$ +TrayExecByTray 6 3 $$ +TrayExecByTray 6 4" That's the first 5 slots in row 7, which is usually enough. Then for my firing modes, Attack Pattern Beta, and so on, things with short cooldowns I activate as I attack, I use the 7 key, no good reason for that it just happened, and the first 4 slots in row 3: /bind 7 "+TrayExecByTray 2 0 $$ +TrayExecByTray 2 1 $$ +TrayExecByTray 2 2 $$ +TrayExecByTray 2 3" And finally for my exotic builds I always put Gravity Well and Destabilizing Resonance beam on 2, using the next two slots in row 3, although it is true that the usual logic behind that doesn't apply here, I just did it out of habit: /bind 2 "+TrayExecByTray 2 4 $$ +TrayExecByTray 2 5" That's all the keybinds I use, everything else I activate manually, one at a time, but it does compress 13 keys I might want to be pressing down to 3, which helps a lot.
Now, the difficult thing about this build is that I really don't know how to suggest upgrading it, apart from the obvious necessity of some Competitive Reputation engines to get their Overcharge to improve turn rate, I made sure to use Aux to Structural to pair with the Fortified version of those. The damage is very divided between different types, with about 40% from hangars, 25% from exotics, and 21% from energy weapons, and it's not getting a lot out of any of them, but I'll provide my own ideas and the STO BETTER Basics links for all three. Currently the biggest damage source is the hangars, but trying to improve those would be expensive. Ideally you'd like to pick up Superior Area Denial from the Mirror Strike Wing Escort lockbox ship, or at least the Independent Wingmate space trait, but those are very expensive compared to this build. Even the more minor and less powerful Advanced Engineering – Hangar Craft Power Transmission consoles are starting at 1 million energy credits each on PC for either a Mk XII with a useless mod or a Mk II with an [EPG] mod, or 5 million for a Mk II with [Polaron], while Swarmer Matrix is going for 7 million. If you wanted to work on exotic damage you could of course pick up the Temporal reputation two piece, and then you might want Subspace Vortex or Very Cold in Space to replace the heals with some more damage, but those will cost you 9 million each, and really you'd want to pair them with Spore Infused Anomalies from the Somerville or Batlh C-store ships for a truly potent source of exotic damage. You might be able to get good exotic damage out of the Gravimetric Photon and Particle Emission Plasma torpedoes after picking up the Competitive engines, and those aren't as expensive, but they do give you a much narrower arc. And if you wanted to improve the energy weapons, of course there are reputation items you can pick up starting with the Discovery reputation shield, but you're pretty limited by the combination of poor turn rate and forward firing exotics. You could try to switch to dual (heavy) cannons, probably moving the torpedo to the rear and dropping the plain turret, but I don't think I'm a good enough pilot to pull that off even with Competitive engines, which would leave you with single cannons which have underwhelming base damage and very few set items to support them. I just don't know what direction to go in to make a really impactful improvement in this build.
Finally, here's the table of DPS testing in the Wanted patrol for all five equivalent budget builds. The Luna used the original, unaltered Strict Budget Build, using the mentioned swap of Emergency Power to Shields instead of Aux to Structural for better survivability against non-Borg. The Vor'cha sat somewhere between parts one and two of the Baby Step series, meaning it had exactly the same consoles as the Hegh'ta BoP and similar ones to the Jem Escort, and the beam equivalents of the phaser weapons, with exactly the abilities and personal traits in the Baby Step posts. It must also be said that the Vor'cha and Vo'quv were the only builds to never die on elite difficulty, and the Vor'cha was definitely the toughest, although all the builds took about 20 minutes to get through the mission so using them at that difficulty is a bad idea. The Hegh'ta of course used the Quick Looks 1 build, and the Jem Escort used the Quick Looks 2 build.

	Elite (DPS thousands)	Advanced 1 (DPS thousands)	Advanced 2	Advanced 3	Advanced 4	Advanced Average
Hegh'ta Heavy BoP	20.0	20.1	21.5	22.5	23.2	21.8
Jem'hadar Escort	19.3	23.4	20.6	21.8	19.7	21.4
Vo'quV Carrier	27.3	26.3	28.2	26.6	25.2	26.6
Luna Science Vessel	24.8	31.4	28.3	27.9	27.0	28.6
Vor'cha Battlecruiser	15.1	15.0	14.1	14.8	14.6	14.6

^{Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit}

Hi Reddit, so I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible while still giving you all the facts. Let us start from the beginning, my at the time 21 y.o. step-brother, was going through his first big break up. Instead of confiding in others or taking time to understand his emotions he instead picked up a book about the stages of love. Let me also explain that my brother has never been the smartest guy and mainly gets by on his good looks and charm in his life. Anyway this book gave the usual “love requires fighting to work it shows that you care about the other” you know stuff everyone already knows. I’m guessing because it came from a book ,or because it was plainly saying what he was too naive to understand about what he was feeling, he became infatuated with every line. Anytime I would have relationship problems he would quote the self help books he had read since and recommend me ones to read. This went on for while but eventually I finished nursing school and moved out of my family’s house (which is my mother’s house, this is important for later) to start working.
Now fast forward to four years later. I’m living on my own with my the love of my life, working the night shift in the hospital like I’ve always wanted. On my way home on night I called my mom to catch up on my drive home. We started talking and eventually I asked about my step-brother. She explained that he was still living at home and had no plans on getting a job or moving out (for context my brother graduated with a master’s degree a year ago). I found that odd and asked what he is doing now. My mom explained that he just makes music and does podcasts with his friends. He apparently says he wants to be an entrepreneur. Which is fine everyone wants to make it big doing what they love doing however. My mother also explained that he constantly invites people she doesn’t know to her house to hangout and when she gets off of work she comes home to strangers that expect her to cook for them. My mother then started tearing up saying “I don’t feel like it’s my house anymore”. That’s when I got upset. I asked her why doesn’t she kick him out or at least start asking for rent so he has to get a job. She explained that she wanted to do that but my step father wouldn’t allow it. My mother and step father have a wonderful marriage and never fight, but because my stepbrother is his son he has attachment to him. My mom recently had to kick her daughter (my blood related sister) into the camper as well since my step sister (19 y.o.) lets her boyfriend stay on weekends in what used to be the girls room. My mother keeps explaining that all of these situations are putting stress on their marriage and by kicking out her daughter she feels like she betrayed her just so my stepfather’s kids can get their way in her house.
After this phone call I was livid so I called my step brother to confront him. After asking the normal “hi how are you” I asked if he has started looking for a job and he said “why would I?”. I responded “so you can work and move out”. Then he said “im in my 20s this is the time you are supposed to chase your dreams” he then pointed out that I always wanted to be a YouTuber or streamer and I should go for it. I then said you know I have a job now and I have to give that job a lot of my time in order to afford the life I live. He basically laughed and explained that there is always enough time. Not much important was said after that.
Now fast forward a few weeks later I see posts from his Instagram talking about how “social media is poison, take back your life, put down your phone, etc.” (Crazy to post that on social media btw). I have also come across his podcast which are just him and his friend who both have the combined IQ of a beheaded chicken explain that the universe is big and has like billions of stars and stuff. 0.0 his entire personality now is saying basic facts at the surface level and then acting like it’s deep as fuck. Furthermore the constant insistence on following your passion mixed with the complete ineptitude of being able to comprehend how smug and pretentious he is during any interaction has breed some real distain from anyone who can see through his act.
All of these posts about self help combined with the complete ignorance of how his actions putting a negative effect on our family has really put a barrier between us. I really don’t think I can take it anymore and I want to either try to explain that he has become a pretentious douche who only keeps around yes men who all think a fact for 5th graders they learn at the zoo makes them better than everyone else, but I honestly think he will just say I don’t understand or maybe I should read this book about stress. I’ve went over the situation with friends of mine and they all laugh when they see his posts and hear him talk now. For God sake he held his 25th birthday party recently and said for everyone to bring a book to exchange knowledge to one another and wear business casual.
I just want my mom to feel like the home she worked tirelessly as a single mother all those years to afford for our family is hers. I have always been so close to my brother and I want him back as a friend. I want my sister to be able to live in the house she was raised in instead of in a camper.
Well that’s everything as of now left out a lot of stories about him being directly wrong about facts he tells us or times he got called out and embarrassed about shit but I think I’ll just leave it here. I plan on confronting him soon I just don’t know what to say. Thank you for your time.

Say Bey, yes, America got a problem Geeked up, choosy love, well, they chose violence Universal, please don't play possum I'm a businеssman doin' as follows

I noticed at least six or seven bars in Kendrick's recent diss tracks opposing the music industry, from very simple bars like "I'll crash out like fuck rap," "fuck you n***** and fuck the industry too," and "the industry can hate me, fuck em all and they mama," to what feels like a foreboding line in "the industry's cooked as I pick the carcass apart," and then obviously the more detailed demonization that makes up a lot of the second verse of Meet the Grahams. I've honestly really been wondering if these could be hints that his upcoming project will further explore corruption and depravity in the music industry and if his criticism of Drake was just a precursor, but that question could have a whole thread to itself.
With these themes in mind though, these bars stuck out to me when I listened to America Has a Problem again recently, but I'm honestly not sure what to make of them.
The most obvious line to consider is "Universal, please don't play possum." Were there any specific events going on at the time of this track's release that he might be referring to? Do you think he was already planning to go against Drake or the music industry at the time of writing this, and this will be one of those bars that is a lot more interesting down the line than it was initially? Anything else I or other fans might not be aware of here?
He sets interesting context for this line by referencing the title of the track and declaring that America indeed has a problem, and then elaborating that an ambiguous "they" have chosen violence. (Who is they? America as a whole? Pop culture? The music industry again? Universal specifically?) Then he follows up with the businessman line, which I also don't really know what to make of. Maybe the "doing as follows" bit is meant to be read as him having issues with the industry, but also recognizing the need for him to play the game (do as follows) to a certain extent in order to maintain his influence.
Who knows, maybe a few of these lines just weren't meant to be looked into that deeply, and he was just flowing, but Kendrick has conditioned me to really investigate what he might have in mind when he writes, and given the context of his recent songs and his attitude about the music industry, I'd be really curious to see if anyone has any extra thoughts about these lines that might give them more context or fill us in on what Kendrick is getting at here.
Do you think his next project will expand further on his issues with the music industry? I think that could be a fascinating angle to hear Kendrick's perspective on, especially considering again that there seems to be a lot of behavior going on behind the scenes that he takes issue with.
Edit: Right as I posted this, I considered that "doing as follows" may actually reference his next few lines:

Truthfully, I be lyin' in my rap song 'Cause I always fail to mention I'd slap homiе His career didn't come with no life insurance Hope his day one fans got some facts on him

Maybe this was also a hint that he was going to go at Drake and potentially others soon. He's acknowledging that he has built a very peaceful persona, but wants to remind us that he'll still slap homie if necessary, as he has clearly proven in the past couple of weeks. Those last two bars could even be taken as directly talking about Drake, saying that his career isn't big enough to protect his life itself (either from literal death or from fucking his life up by messing with minors and/or sex traffickers), and that he hopes Drake's biggest fans come to realize what he's actually been doing. Those same bars don't just have to reference Drake though, the same could be said for any big artists who Kendrick is anticipating being convicted of awful stuff down the line. So perhaps "doing as follows" was meant to prepare us for this brief exploration of how/why he'll slap homie.

Before reading : This is gonna be a more in general post than any particular project related post. I am posting this here since this is where Pycraft Launcher was originally posted. More of a rant post about what happened to me so far and why I haven't been able to work on the project. Since a lot of people were messaging me in the dms about the project, I guess it's time y'all got to know the situation I'm in.
For context : look up https://www.reddit.com/PiratedGames/comments/wsndb0/i_created_a_new_and_open_source_minecraft_launche
So back in 2022 I published what was the final release of Pycraft Launcher from my end, before other people made forks of it and picked up the slack and fixed my errors. I however stated that I will be making another better version of this launcher with many new features, fixes and what not. I went as far as designing a properly working prototype, with said features, (which is sadly lost to time since I switched computers to a better one and formatted my old system). However this is where things take a turn as I joined college (biggest mistake of my life) to pursue Btech in computer science.
The moment my classes started, life went to, well shit.
It was not long before I realised that my college and the board which governs it, is designed to make students fail so that they pay for for retests and paper rechecks. Couple that fact with the one that backlogs (the exams in which you were failed) don't really get cleared (you have a roughly 30% chance of passing), really really messed with my life in 2023 and continues to do so, so much so that I had to drop everything about my projects and work on getting myself out of this jam, but 3 semesters in, I have backlogs in all of them, the subjects in which I am not supposed to fail. Did a lot of research about this and found out that the board purposely does this ( there have been lots of protests and cases against it but to no avail).
Plus I got rejected by my crush but that's character development lol.
Add in the entrance of AI into all this and general panic/confusion/fear mongering took up a good chunk of my mind as well. And the general dread of not being able to make any money as well while my family struggles.
Right now I'm still studying for the current semester, don't know what I will do about the previous ones, don't know whether I'll be able to earn or not, but that's all in my head, I guess.
Regarding the launcher : I do intend to pick up where I left off, but only if I'm able to catch a break from this hellhole. Also I have other projects lined up, which I want to work on but that's from July most probably I guess. Keep an eye out in the PycraftLauncher sub from time to time in case I do manage to post a release of the new launcher.
Also about the current Pycraft launcher, if y'all want to go ahead and use it, you can, I don't know whether it will work with the current version or not, I made it in such a way that it is automatically able to scale with modern versions. But there are better forks of it so be sure to check them out as well.
And I don't like asking this of the readers of this post, but if any one of you can support me a bit a financially(by small donations or such) so that I can get back up on my feet and can allocate resources to work on my projects (mc launcher included), it would be really good. If anyone is interested, please DM me, as posting any such links might get me kicked off this sub.
That's it for now I guess. Take care everyone.

Alright, folks, gather around because I've got a bone to pick. I don't understand it. You've got these developers out here creating absolutely brilliant SaaS apps—gorgeous UI, seamless functionality, features that could make you weep with joy. And then... BAM! They decide to translate their app, and it's like watching a Picasso being turned into a kindergarten finger painting.
Either don't translate your app at all if it's already in English (which is fine, by the way), or if you're going to do it, for the love of all things tech, do it correctly. Because nothing says "I don't care about my product" like a poorly translated interface. It makes your app look like a cheap piece of junk. It's like buying a Rolex and realizing the "L" fell off.
Translation is not hard, people. Just don't use Google Translate unless you want your app to sound like a drunk robot. Just use DeepL. It does translations 10x better and is free as well. Why do you guys keep bothering with Google Translate? When it comes to German it literally translates "Let’s go" to "Lass uns gehen" which basically means "Let’s leave". Quite the opposite, huh?
Imagine this: You're on your shiny new app, ready to tackle the world, and then you hit a button that says "Submit your cow." Excuse me? I didn't realize I was on a farm simulator. Or the classic "Press the button for enter the next." Enter the next what? The next dimension? The next existential crisis? Who knows!
I mean, these developers have already done the hard part—coding, designing, testing, deploying. Yet they stumble at the finish line because they can't get the text right. It's like a chef creating a five-star dish and then dumping a can of spray cheese on top. All that hard work, ruined by something so simple.
So, dear SaaS developers, please, I'm begging you. Invest in proper translation tools. Your users will thank you, and your app won't look like it was translated by a toddler with a dictionary.
Oh, and if anyone has questions about German translations, hit me up. I'm so tired of seeing BS translations that make my eyes bleed. I'd be happy to help out and save the world from more translation disasters.

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! You can call me Ruby, I've been reading for under a year but found tarot as I was going through my own spiritual journey and picked it up rather quickly. My readings center around self reflection and a tool for insight rather then a way to predict the future. I never sugarcoat my readings and I'll always tell you how I see it in the cards. I love using tarot as a tool to help people, to show them areas they need to work on or giving advice or using it to help understand a person or situation better and giving guidance. It does occasionally take me a few days to get the reading out but I work two other jobs so I'm very busy and want to take my time with my readings because I like to go in depth! Right now I'm offering a special where you can purchase any in depth reading for 10 dollars 5 dollars!
I have other readings available as well and all my other prices are listed below in CAD so if you're american the prices will be lower then what I have listed (including the 10 dollar 5 dollar special). <3 If you don't see anything that suits your needs feel free to message me and we can work something out! Thank you for checking me out and I look forward to hopefully reading for you!
https://featheredtarot.etsy.com/
One Card Reading: $2.50 $1.25
Three Card Any Topic/ Relationship Reading: $10 $5
Celtic Cross Reading: $25 $12.50
In Depth Relationship Reading: $30 $15
Self Read Oracle Cards: $1+ $0.50+
Rush my reading (24 hour is likely but if not 24 hours you get pushed to the front of the line and it's guaranteed to be as soon as I can) $15
Yes/No Questions: $0.50+ $0.25+
For those interested I'm also offer various different charity tarot readings for Ukraine from anywhere from $4.50 $2.25 for a one card reading to $40 $20 for an in depth relationship reading. The majority of the proceeds will go to a charity of your choosing from the ones I have listed so please feel free to check out that listing if you're interested. <3
Reviews:https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/ur7xdk/reviews/
https://www.reddit.com/userubygrey2021/comments/160p4ereviews_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3