When I was a kid, about like six years old, I had the smallest room in the house. My family had a small house in general. My two older brothers shared a room up to when I was about 10 and my middle sibling got the attic after it was renovated. Because my room was so small, I had a loft bed. Still because it stood against the inner side of the sloping roof it only gave a small room underneath it. But I made the best of it and stored many many boxes of Lego under it. On the foot and head side of the bed were small spaces. Only 20 centimeters wide but wide enough so I could climb up and down my bed with them. Another cool feature of the bed was the desk attached to it. It was facing the window on the opposite side of the door. It was supposed to be a place where I could do my homework, but as if I ever did my homework at that age. You may wonder why I am telling you all of this. Why you need to know how my room looked when I was a small child. But that’s were this one night came. I don´t remember how old I was but I guess I was seven. Far above the age when you can´t distinguish between a dream and reality. Far above the age when you put pieces of Lego up your nose and just in general are just a stupid child. And that’s what makes my experience even more weird.
I always had trouble falling asleep and still have. Back then I would always not close the door entirely, so a bit of light entered the room. I needed that because I was a bit of a squeamish kid. As it is usual when you have older brothers, they exposed me to many things I wasn´t ready for. My first time learning about World War two was when I watched a let’s play of Wolfenstein: The new order with my oldest brothers. When a scene showing the aftermath of human experiments came, he paused and said something along the lines of “Maybe you shouldn’t watch this.” This was after I had already seen BJ gun down countless soldiers and stabbing them to death. He took me down into the kitchen and told me about WW2. The whole time I was thinking about those corpses I had seen on his screen. To sum it up, I saw some shit at a young age and didn´t like falling asleep in total darkness. Now you know everything you need to know to understand this night. Or at least kinda understand it. Not even I fully grasp it.
It was the middle of the night. I woke up feeling the desire to go to the toilette. But something was off. My room was clad in total darkness. Not a single bit of light. The way to the toilette wasn´t long. Just walk down the ladder that was next to the door and walk through the small corridor and open the bathroom door. All in all maybe 7 meters to walk. But for some reason I didn´t took the obvious path. No. I raised my body and climbed down the small opening between bed and wall. My feet touched the ground and I let go off the wooden bedframe. Ahead of me was now a small path. The bed and the desk. Then I would get to the opening and could walk to the door. Of course, I didn´t see anything but with a room so small as mine, I knew every centimeter. I began to set one foot after the other. A second later I left could feel the desk. It touched my chest and was like a barrier I had to go around of. Another few steps and I would be finally able to go to the toilette.
I took those steps, expecting to feel the clearing. But the clearing didn´t came. Instead, the barrier I felt at my chest let me in a turn. “What?”, I asked myself. This wasn´t how I knew my room. My back was still touching the wall when normally I was touch the window. I felt dread creeping through my body. My throat became as dry as a desert. “This can´t be.”, I mumbled. I felt goosebumps on my arms but no matter what, I would reach the toilette. Maybe I just had turned around unknowingly and that was why it felt so weird. I reached out to the barrier and wall and began to walk again. Expecting to soon reach the clearing I upped my pace and walked further. But the clearing didn´t came. Just more wall and more desk. As if the space had been stretched out impossibly.
That’s when the fear broke me. A tear fell down my cheek. I was somewhere other than my room. I thought about just screaming but a small voice in my head told me: “What if you are just stupid? If you scream now, your parents will wake up and be very angry at you. Papa has to work tomorrow.” I felt so hopeless in that moment. Defeated there was just one exit. Try to get back to my bed. I turned around and took three or four steps. Suddenly my hand felt the bedframe. “What?”, I asked my self again. It just made the whole scene so much weirder. But I should be grateful. I reached out my hands and grabbed the upper part of the bedframe before pulling my self up and climbing back under my now cold blanket. Still crying a bit, I somehow fell asleep.
The next morning, I was woken up by my mom. Light filled the room and it looked just normal. So otherworldly stretching. I climbed down the ladder and walked down into the kitchen. Not mentioning the weird events of the night.

Lo is 5 months and has always been low sleep needs (lucky us)
We are lucky if we get 3 hours day time sleep and though sometimes we luck out with the occasional long nap, th average is 45 mins. Nighttime sleep varies from 9-10.5 hours a night.
On days where there are longer naps I can stretch his WW to get him to bedtime with three naps (bedtime is 7:30-8) but when he is standing strong with naps that are 30-45 mins it's impossible without having a 4 hour last WW so we squeeze in a fourth nap
I'm wondering if folks have just ridden it out improvising between 3 and 4 naps depending on the day, or if once you are trying to transition... you should really try to stick to the three despite it all?
If the latter, how the heck do you make this work? There are days where I can contact nap at least one of the naps to stretch it to at least 1h:20mins but even then it's hard to get us to the finish line
ALSO the sleep gods hate us and LO is often up between 5:30-630am so I end up stretching first WW to 8am for first nap
Our WWs are currently on the longer side 2 hours minimum and the longest one anywhere from 2.5-3hours before bed.
Please halp..or share what worked for you!

i’m 17, was supposed to get this surgery when i was 11 but because of nhs wait times i didn’t get a date until now.
my surgery went well, but recovery has been going horrifically and none of my doctors seem to care. day one after the surgery they kept urging me to get up and walk to the toilet on my own even though i was insisting that my hip was in too much pain to move. i needed to go to the toilet so i tried getting out of bed but just by sitting up i got so dizzy that i started throwing up everywhere. my throat was already in so much pain from the breathing tube and vomiting just made that pain ten times worse. nurse came and just gave me anti sickness meds and left, didnt check in on me after that.
i got better at going to the toilet but it would be so unbelievably painful trying to walk there and it would take me 5 minutes to walk the 1m distance between my bed and the door. the doctors and nurses werent helping me, they’d just stand to the side as i painfully hobbled there and back relying on my mum to help me move. at one point the nurse came to help me move my legs off the bed but when she gentled pulled them about 10° to the left i felt so much pain that i immediately burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying for half an hour. it wasn’t until then that my doctors realised the only painkillers i had been given since coming out of surgery was a paracetamol drip, so they quickly put my on morphine (which for some reason didn’t help).
the next day my doctor came in to see how i was doing and he had the nerve to ask me ‘why do you look so miserable?’. again, i started crying and he just sat there and watched as i tried to piece together the words to say how exhausted i already was with recovery only 2 days in, and that i didn’t want to have to do this for another month. he just said that it will only be a week of recovery and that when younger children get this done they’d usually be home already (this was my second night in hospital, i had to beg my doctors to let me stay another night because i didn’t feel ready to go home and they reluctantly let me stay.) another doctor came in and repeated the sentiment, watched me cry with a blank face then left.
some more doctors came later and thankfully they were a lot more sympathetic to what i was going through. this is how i found out that they had actually done two procedures in one operation (closed the hole and the bone graft) which is why i had been in such extreme discomfort and recovery was going to slow. finding this out reslly pissed me off bc my doctors had been gaslighting me for days (at least that’s how it felt to me) into thinking i was overstating my pain and that i was slowing down my recovery because of how upset i was
final day at the hospital i still didn’t feel anywhere near ready to go home but i didnt bother arguing against it because my doctors were hellbent on me going home because i had already prolonged my stay. i walked around all day because my doctors insisted i would walk to the car myself (didn’t happen, ended up needing a wheelchair). my face and lips were still so swollen that i couldn’t drink water out of a glass because it would all just dribble out but i was vehemently forbidden from using a syringe and nurses would tell me off whenever they caught me.
i got home yesterday in the evening and still going through it. at one point i was so done with everything that i sat fully screaming and crying for about 40 minutes because i don’t know how to cope with this. im not getting any sleep because when im not waking up every 2 hours for meds, im waking up to clean up the blood that has leaked out my mouth down my neck. my face and hair feel vile, and im desperate to shampoo and cleanse the blood that’s still caked onto my hair from the surgery, but i know ill fall if i try to shower and i can’t lean my head back to get my mum to do it for me. worst of all is the hunger, my stomach is in so much pain because i have been starving for days. my diet is limited to melted ice cream and yoghurt and medications, plus soup and custard from the hospital. on my first night i didnt even eat anything of substance because the hospital gave me rice and curry that i couldn’t chew so i had to eat a yoghurt for dinner. now im home and struggling to find filling meals.
sorry if this is a bit nasty but i’ve desperately needed to get this out. i know that a lot of this is my own doing and i need to buckle down and just bear it but im so fucking tired and i wish i had never gotten this surgery at all. my doctors act like compassion and understanding is something i was meant to pay extra for, and whenever i raised an issue they’d bluntly tell me to just do xyz because they won’t ever know how painful and draining it is to drink more water or walk a lap or whatever. i’m only now realising how long this post is so please bear with me. thank you if you read this far.

I'm alone. All my life I've been able to make friends. But I always lose them, in third grade, I lost my two best friends because they switched schools and we just fell out of touch, in fifth grade I lost all my friends except for three, though this was also because of them moving, I made more friends in sixth grade and we remained friends for a good while. Freshman year my best friend from kindergarten and I stopped talking, she texted me one day saying that she didn't actually like me, and she never wanted to talk to me again. That hurt a lot, I got over it in about eight months and eventually was able to stop thinking about her everyday, and seeing her at school didn't bother me as much.
February the next year came, one year since my previous best friend and I stopped talking, maybe it got in my head, and I had been starting to feel suffocated by my current best friend at the time, I loved her, but she kept hurting me by not acknowledging my presence when we were in groups, no matter how hard I tried to contribute to the conversation, she kept leaving me and I just wanted a break from feeling like I was nothing to her. I just wanted some space. But I totally went about it in the wrong way. I picked a fight for no reason and said some awful things that I regret with every fiber of my being. At first, we stopped talking for a couple weeks, and I made two new friends, but soon after my best friend sent me an email telling me everything that was wrong with me, overbearing, pushy, and more I can't remember well, and I agree with her now, I've grown a lot and if she had said those thing recently, I could have come to terms with what she was saying, the things she pointed out were valid points that I should have looked into more, but I got defensive, this was when I thought she didn't want to be friends anymore because it sounded like she hated so many things about me... then what was there to like?
She had texted me a night before and said that she wanted to talk to me, with a specific teacher as a mediator, I refused, I am a very very private person and I do not like to share my feelings with anyone I'm not used to being around, and I wasn't yet familiar with this teacher. I told my friend that if she really didn't want to be friends anymore, that I would respect her decision. I was trying to protect myself, trying to make sure I broke it off before she did, I hate that my brain went there immediately. I wish I had tried to fight for her. She screamed at me while I sat there in a sort of calm daze, which completely gave off the impression that I didn't care... but I cared so much, she told me that I was self-sabotaging and was throwing away something that hadn't gone bad, she was screaming so loud, a teacher came in and told he she was disrupting classes, she was escorted out of the room and I heard her crying, and as soon as she left the room I burst out in tears too.
Our mutual friends, which was only two people, but they were my only other friends, stopped talking to me, and only hung out with her, but we were never on bad terms. I am beginning to resent them though. We stopped talking completely and soon summer vacation came. My cat died, I moved out of my narcissistic mother's house to my Dad's house, and his girlfriend accused me of stealing money, which I didn't, but my father took her side anyway and the entire time I was there they kept trying to blame things on me, and continuously scorned me for being antisocial, so eventually I moved out again when my father and I got in a huge fight, and I haven't talked to him since. I worked 80 hour weeks during the summer at two jobs, trying to keep my mind off my friend, my dad, and stay away from my mom, but it was okay because I had three friends who were from Mongolia, and two friends who were from Turkey working the same exact hours as me. But near the end of the summer, my two Turkish friends and I decided to plan a trip to go to Florida, I asked my mom and after some convincing she finally agreed, we got plane tickets, booked hotels, got car rental stuff, but the night before I left, my mom told me I wasn't allowed to go anymore, she has done this multiple times, but not of this magnitude, I told her that we had already paid for everything, but she told me that if I left, she would call the cops on me.
So I texted my Turkish friends and I told them what happened, but they wouldn't believe me... they blamed me and said "did you tell your mom?" I told them that I did, but they swore that I was lying, they told everyone, including my three Mongolian friends, so in the last month that my foreign friends were in the country, they all hated me, treated me terribly, constantly gave me dirty looks, and were scornful. It broke my heart, especially because they were so kind before, if I can make the kindest person hate me... then what kind of monster am I?
Finally, I came back to school, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be, seeing her everyday, happy with her friends while I sat there, alone and in misery, I had a couple friends, but they weren't in many of my classes. I was able to hold out for so long. One day I just couldn't take it anymore. I just completely gave up, seeing her was too much to bear, she didn't care about me anymore, I didn't have any close friends, just people who wouldn't really care if I lived or died. Everyday was a struggle. I stopped going to school, stopped going to work, and just curled up in my bed and decided that I had enough. I was on a course to graduate that year, a whole year early which got screwed up as well, ruining my chances of doing so.
I skipped work for almost three weeks, but I eventually came back because my boss said she missed me and reassured me that no body was mad. I haven't been to school in about two months, I don't know how I could go back anymore, it would be humiliating... like, what would I say? What if people asked questions? I'd just come off as so pathetic. I've ruined my life, I have little chance of a diploma, and no chance if I don't go back, I've been labeled as "truancy" or whatever. I was also supposed to go to Spain and Italy for a school trip, but I wasn't able to go because of my lack of attendance, so I ended up wasting 4,000 dollars.
My two friends that I made after my last best friend and I broke up called the cops on me because she thought I was going to kill myself, and I was so mad and embarrassed I cried the whole way to the hospital with my mom in the car and was able to go back home after some tests, after I got home, I went off on them, I was so so upset, and I honestly still am, I know they were only doing what they thought best, but I told her that I didn't want to talk to her until she would apologize, because all she kept saying was "I'm sorry you feel that way" so I told her to stop apologizing for how I felt, and apologize for what she did. She didn't, so I told her that I wasn't going to talk to her until she apologized. And the other friend who was in on it too, I texted her angrily and she said "womp womp" I immediately blocked her, I was so mad, words cannot describe my level of fury at that moment. It wasn't funny, that was not the time for jokes.
I have no friends, only my narcissistic mother, I don't even have a father anymore, my oldest sister isn't in contact with him either, for a different reason... I've just been working, and trying not to think. But I can't take it anymore. Have I really screwed everything up? Is my life worth anything anymore? Friendship is dead. Family is overrated, and I have never been able to keep a friend, I do not want the pain of loosing another one, I have people who I enjoy being around, I have coworkers, I have my sisters, and I have two people I hang out with sometimes, but really, none of them are my friends. I never want to make another friend, I refuse, I know they consider me their friends, but if I put a real label on it, it'll hurt too much when they leave and begin to hate me. What do I do? Am I destined for failure? Why do I always end up alone? Not only does everyone hate me, but I'm hating myself more and more by the passing day. I don't know what to do... can somebody, anybody help me? I'm just so lost.

So, I made this clan for myself basically.. I'm not really into this huge selling point trying to promote myself or others.. I tend to run with randos, or I'm by myself doing content. But, I would like for that to change..
I'm generally an average-good patient player with limited deaths for the most part in everything I do.. Im not eso, but Im decent enough to have at your side, I have a smart brain, prob the world's chillest introvert you'll ever meet.. Have most exotics and growing my arsenal. I kinda would like the same from my members.
Played alot of D1, Have raid completions, up until some of the recently added ones. But here's ideally what I'm looking for, one be yourself. Would like atleast one Sherpa in the clan that can lead the group and teach others. Would love it if we could do all the roles in all raids, etc.. Two, be just a mature, respectful, person.. I'm looking for loyalty, and determination to grow my clan into something more then just myself.. A tight-knit one.. I don't need hundreds of people. Just 6-8 active guardians who are usually Solo, but are skilled and have more knowledge of the content that I missed.
Summary is this.. I'm a introvert thats looking for skilled dudes, I dont pvp that much. But i will. Not very good at pvp.. But i wouldnt mind some hardcore pvper's in the clan.. Def looking for Raiding Sherpa's trying to complete master runs, challenges, growing and teaching other's.. That said, I don't deal with drama. Keep that -blam!- to yourself. I def don't need or want destiny -blam!-, lil kids, whiners, ragers, or any toxic guardian for that matter. Everyone wants to smash content, but you first need to have a focused team. And that's what I want to create. A team of people that have fun, are courteous, helpful, hella smart, funny asf, and just want grind out for Godrolls, adepts, etc. I want a destiny family.. 😔..
I prefer only Ps5 players, so we can join a party. I do not do discord or any other mentally deranged social media outlets.
Thanks.
Message me on here if your interested..
Peace.

I would put a few points justifying my conviction.

1. Placements - DMS ,IIT Delhi is clocking median placements near to IIM Shillong and IIM Indore. It has diversified tremendously. The biggest cohort is now made up of marketing professionals rather than operations enthusiasts. In the times of recession, older iims are struggling with summer internships, while DMS is able to place everybody with a median stipend(2 months) of 2.7 months. All premium consulting companies are visiting the campus including McKinsey, BCG, Bain, Pwc and Accenture strategy for backend roles. Some of them have shown interest in hiring for frontend roles also. Blackrock, State Street is skipping older IIMs and visiting DMS for asset management roles. Placecoms don't have to worry about companies because there are already 300+ companies visiting for btech recruitment. They have to influence only 25 companies from the group companies visiting.
   
2. Multiple sources of funding- DMS has proved that what government institutions can do if they are provided funding. Iit delhi started to focus on MBA program from early 2010. The program was running from last 2 decades also. But now it has taken central stage. DMS is most well funded department after the Computer Science one(you can check the annual reports of iit delhi). While newer iims are dependent on only fees, DMS is getting research grants, a good proportion of IIT Delhi budget and donation from the vast IIT alumni network. It is amazing that people who were B. Tech graduate 20-30 years ago are showing interest in donating to the programme.
   
3. Startup Culture - DMS has produced more startups than many IIMs combined. It is able to leverage the vast startup ecosystem of IIT Delhi. Young people are meeting with venture capitalists and getting opportunity to raise funds for their ventures. Low fees also adds the attraction towards startup culture because of very less debt obligations.
   
4. QS world rankings- DMS is fourth after IIM ABC in QS ranking of business studies. Most people would argue that DMS is getting advantage because of research points. Who cares if it is getting more marks in one criteria. Main point is it is earning reputation in the world. Who would have thought the Blackrock would visit DMS 5 years ago, it is the international rankings that are luring the companies. My friend from DMS IIT delhi told me that recruiters from Microsoft, Google are connecting with him because of reputation of IITs worldwide. I don't think people from other colleges have that much privileages. Probability of getting selected in Google, Netflix is pretty high if you are from DMS.
   
5. AI, Automation push- DMS is poistioning itself in a very comfortable position with the advent of AI. They are already very good in analytics and quote confident of occupying the AI space. It is an insider information that DMS is laying out a plan to thrive in the world of AI consulting and Automation consulting. This year students reported that inverviewers were very serious about AI. They kept on digging students for their interest in AI. Older IIMs are still thinking about conventional way of sales. DMS is already researching about predicting consumer behaviour by AI(refer to their research papers). They know that Ai would penetrate all aspects of business whether it is finance, operations and markeing.
   
6. Strongest cohort among major B-schools- Last time, avg cat percentile was 97.6( refer to the placement reports). You can guess what was the average percentile of GEMs.This time the average percentile of candidates will increase as they are rejecting people with 99.4 percentile. 53 percent people in the last batch were from IIT/NIT/SRCC. 23 months was the average experience of the batch. They are already taking people who are over-achievers. You can think what kind of exposure you would get in DMS IIT Delhi.
   

So, I made this clan for myself basically.. I'm not really into this huge selling point trying to promote myself or others.. I tend to run with randos, or I'm by myself doing content. But, I would like for that to change..
I'm generally an average-good patient player with limited deaths for the most part in everything I do.. Im not eso, but Im decent enough to have at your side, I have a smart brain, prob the world's chillest introvert you'll ever meet.. Have most exotics and growing my arsenal. I kinda would like the same from my members.
Played alot of D1, Have raid completions, up until some of the recently added ones. But here's ideally what I'm looking for, one be yourself. Would like atleast one Sherpa in the clan that can lead the group and teach others. Would love it if we could do all the roles in all raids, etc.. Two, be just a mature, respectful, person.. I'm looking for loyalty, and determination to grow my clan into something more then just myself.. A tight-knit one.. I don't need hundreds of people. Just 6-8 active guardians who are usually Solo, but are skilled and have more knowledge of the content that I missed.
Summary is this.. I'm a introvert thats looking for skilled dudes, I dont pvp that much. But i will. Not very good at pvp.. But i wouldnt mind some hardcore pvper's in the clan.. Def looking for Raiding Sherpa's trying to complete master runs, challenges, growing and teaching other's.. That said, I don't deal with drama. Keep that shit to yourself. I def don't need or want destiny douchebag elitists, lil kids, whiners, ragers, or any toxic guardian for that matter. Everyone wants to smash content, but you first need to have a focused team. And that's what I want to create. A team of people that have fun, are courteous, helpful, hella smart, funny asf, and just want grind out for Godrolls, adepts, etc. I want a destiny family.. 😔..
I prefer only Ps5 players, so we can join a party. I do not do discord or any other mentally deranged social media outlets.
Thanks.
Message me on here if your interested..
Peace.

What more can I do? The people who live under me insufferable. they constantly complain to me about me making noise! It started by them saying my dog barked all night the first night he was left alone. I got off work 4 hours early that night (2 am) and didn't go inside for about an hour because i was enjoying the cool night. And I wanted to see if he was barking, but he didn't make a peep. Additionally the neighbors on either side listened for him after I left for work at 6 pm (and we can all hear eachothers tv's) but they didn't hear him. They (all 3 neighbors) had my number but nobody texted. They just complained when I saw them the next day.
​
Almost every time the people under me see me they complain about the noise. So I've done everything in my power to keep it quiet while actively making every effort to avoid them. My dog stays at my moms house most nights when I'm working and when that's not possible and he's home alone he's got his bark collar on and I give him his anxiety medication to help him sleep. They still say he runs around all night but that's not possible because he's crated. i thought it could be the cats but when I'm home the cats sit in their tree and sleep and that's all they do all night until about 6 am when they get their morning treat.
​
I put some area rugs down to try to help. But that hasn't done anything.
​
I even did these neighbors a favor and let them use my washer and dryer (even though they did 3 times as many loads as I do alone) to try to get on their good side until they started complaining about cat hair allergies and I didn't want to risk one of them passing out in my apartment so I had to put a stop to it.
​
This morning at 5 am the woman texts me that she heard my dog running around and he's kept them up all night. No. last night I was home and I watched my dog and cats, nobody ran around. Nobody made noise. Nobody barked. Nobody meowed. I paced back and forth to the bedroom a few times when I needed to, and I try to step as light as I can but I have a bad leg. I limp so it's probably not as light as a normal person could walk. if she heard anything it was me. Everyone else was asleep and I was in my chair with my leg propped up watching twitch most the night. I can only do so much. I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable by tip toeing around my own apartment that I pay for. But if it really kept you up all night why did you wait until 5 AM to say something?
​
I sent an email to the office and asked to swap apartment because I don't want to disturb them anymore and I know two ground floor apartments are going to open up over here soon. But I know they aren't going to let me. The office staff is the least professional group of people I've ever met and they don't like work.
​
And don't get me wrong... I mean I get it. I know it's an old apartment complex. It's poorly insulated. and I'm sorry if they really do hear noise from up here. but what else can I do? I'm seriously not making much, if any noise. The only thing that's making any noise is my fan. but I can't imagine how they could be hearing that. I'm doing the best I can. When you move into a bottom apartment isn't a little bit of noise to be expected? I would understand if we were really being disruptive, playing loud music, barking, or even running around and playing all night I could see where that kind of thing would be disruptive. But we aren't. I wake up in the afternoon, do my cleaning, cooking, until 9 or 10 and then sit down and watch twitch until i'm tired enough to go back to bed sometime in the morning. I'm depressed as hell, I literally have no desire to do anything. Unfortunately I do still care about others.
​
The person on my right has told me to not worry about it, she's told me they complain about everyone. And honestly that statement was proven as for the couple weeks they were doing laundry at my apartment. The woman started to buddy up to me and complain about other residents. I suspect at least part of the complaints are really because I no longer letting them use my laundry. But it still makes me feel bad. Suggestions? i don't know what to do to make these people happy.
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All i really want is to be left alone and in peace. I try to be quiet. I try to be as helpful and respectful as I can be to other people. I don't ask anything of anyone. I don't complain. when my apartment needs a repair I usually don't even call maintance if it's not an emergency because I don't want to bother anyone. what am i supposed to do? maybe it's the depression but more and more things just keep going wrong and those dark thoughts keep creeping in. i don't know what to do anymore.

For background check my posts. This is my second fight with Insomnia/sleep disturbance after 6 years of sleeping good. The first fight started because I was injected with adrenaline during an EP study of my heart - lasted 8 months and by a miracle I got better - this was 6 years ago.
I believe this time my sleep disturbances and insomnia started after i took a high dose methyl b complex (sounds stupid but just search reddit and methyl b insomnia) - apparently there's something called overmethylation. Many people get better and a few have long lasting issues with adrenaline and sleep disturbances/insomnia - which seem permanent. I wish I'd had accidentally taken poison instead of this seemingly harmless vitamin complex.
The only thing that puts me to sleep all night is lorazepam. However I know it will eventually stop working and give me more issues so after a week using it on and off, I've decided not to take it any more.
The other med I'm prescribed is mirtazipine - 7.5mg being the dose to put me to sleep, does it help? Sometimes yes sometimes no. If it does I wake up every 3hrs and after 5hrs of total sleep, I can't sleep further. It really messes me up in the day. I can't function. I become numb.
I realised one thing in all of this. There's not one med for sleeping that doesn't have a pay off where it will mess another part of your life up or cause you other illnesses or cause withdrawal. It's a cruel condition with cruel medications.
Last night, I tried sleeping without a single med - because this was the only way I got better 6 years ago, by allowing my body to recover itself - will it recover this time? I'm not sure and I have a feeling it won't and that something is permanently damaged from the vitamins I took. I didn't feel anxious last night but you're always told you are anxious by others and that anxiety is always the root cause of insomnia - many fail to realise it's the byproduct of insomnia and not the cause - anyway I was too tired and drowsy to feel anxious. I've slept soundly in stressful situations throughout my life so how anxious could I be really?
Anyway, I did sleep (if that's what you wanna call it)... Here's how it went - I dreamt so vividly and the dream felt like it lasted 8 hours. However I realised in reality I slept only 20 mins. The whole night was spent in 20 minute sleep cycles with vivid dreams that felt like forever. I must have woken up about 15-20+ times sleeping 20-30 mins at a time.
If anyone else has gone through this then you know my pain.
I've been advised to get off reddit as its probably not helping anxiety towards sleep and the obsession around it. But this feels like more than just anxiety. I believe there's something more mechanical going on which is affecting my sleep - I assume it's to do with the nervous system - namely the system that controls fight or flight/adrenaline. If it's a biological issue, then no amount of cbt-i or sleep hygiene or whatever will help.
I've seen so many people find their magic bullet here. For some it was GABA supplements, for another it was potassium gluconate, for another it was metropalol (a beta blocker), for another it was moving to his girlfriends house and sleeping for the first time, I've even seen someone say they have to eat unhealthy foods before bed and they sleep.
I don't know if I'll ever find my magic bullet. I believe there's something physiological going on but it's beyond the understanding of modern medicine.
If you can sleep 5-6hrs naturally and consider it bad. Maybe my sleep of only 20 mins x 20 will make you appreciate your solid 4-6hrs.
Probably my last post, if this doesn't kill me indirectly (yeah I know, the whole everyone thinks insomnia will kill them) - then I'll be lucky. My mums side has cardiac issues genetically and lack of sleep increases that risk.
I've been through so much with my health and sleep was my escape. Now I don't have that. If anyone is sleeping less than 2-3hrs a night or having 20-30 mins sleeps cycles. I honestly feel your pain.
I'm not sure of the future, but right now I wish I was with my deceased relatives.
Ps I'm a husband and father of two children. This has taken all the joy away of being either. I hope it returns one day.

Hi all, I apologise if this sounds like somewhat of a dumb question but what are some subtle ways to show that I am a part of the littles/caregivers community (especially to the possible vanilla communities)?
For context, I have been single for about 8 years now and starting to feel the effects of singleness so I am thinking of putting myself back on dating apps or trying to meet people in person (those would probably be considered vanilla communities idk) but I am wondering what the best way to show I am in the littles community would be without outright saying since a lot of people may not have the best idea of it (obviously if I connect with someone later I can explain further).
I don't really think it would be appropriate (especially on the dating apps) to have photos of myself with pacis or diapers so I am wondering what kinds of clothing I could wear that's very subtle hinting (which also leads me to ask, what kinds of stuff can I wear as someone who is 5'8 and 265lbs) ? What kinds of photos and/or things can I post on dating profiles that won't scare people off or make them assume I either have issues or that this is some kind of k1nk? Any advice on what to do irl situations too with bringing up in convos and whatnot?
I am also wanting to explore my CG side which may be a little harder to explain and since I don't have any past experience with it (both being a CG or ever having one) I was wondering if there were any tips on how to navigate that side too?
My roles in the community are completely non-s3xual so I would ideally like to avoid going down the "k1nk community" route even though I am probably more likely to meet others there rather than vanilla settings/everyday life.
If anyone has any past experiences with dealing with this I would be very open to hearing thoughts/tips/advice!

A friend's relative keeps giving money to a relative on other side of the family. They asked me to look into the person's ppp and eidl loans.
The person got an EIDL for over 450k and two ppp for 60k each.
The kicker is is that from my research they run a marketing company with an address that appears to mainly be used for virtual offices and their out sourced/contract "employees" are located in Philippines, but their addresses are all listed as Chicago where edil/ppp sneak is located.
If their EIDL claimed the overseas workers as employees is that fraud? What about putting a possible virtual office as physical location?

First: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/14vo5lb/troublemakers_deaths_pity/
*previous:* https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1crq34h/troublemakers_buried_secrets_bolster_the_weak/
......
Go'mon strutted around the command center, a cape of deep purple silk flowing about his shoulders as he wore his gilded armor. An ornate helmet underneath one arm, the faceplate forged into the visage of a snarling Rak'nal beast. He peered over the shoulders of drone pilots, observing the carnage on the streets in front of the mansion. His black scimitar hung at his belt, the palm of his war gauntlet resting on the hilt, eyebrow crests rising as he saw the expeditionary general's Buzzard explode.
"Casualty report on General Gra'vos?"
He stated to the small Geknosian woman who deftly piloted her drone closer to the wreckage to pull data from the onboard recorder. Her eyes sparkled, reflected in the screen as the data was streamed directly into her brain through a neural implant.
"Deceased, Just like you planned, his provided pleasure slave threw him from the craft and stole the det-sphere you clipped to his belt. You seem to know a lot about how these humans fight."
Go'mon touched the small grooves underneath the elastomer skin of his face where that parasite had shot him with a concealed gun. He laughed bloodily and purred.
"Failure is the greatest teacher in the universe, these parasites have taught me everything they know. Now we just need to see what their true fighting strength is."
"Understood sir, orders?"
"Get a view on the inner courtyard and report to the commanders of the second and third waves their positions and weaponry."
A young lieutenant called out.
"Sir! Twelve UHM-60 Blackhawks en-route to the enemy base! Advise!"
Go'mon stalked over, peering over the satellite observer's shoulder as he followed a chevron of twelve helicopters loaded down with ancient, obsolete human war-droids. He rapped the claws of his war gauntlet against the handle of his scimitar with a purr.
"Send orders to Commander Mar'tek to equip three of his Gallicks with anti-air weaponry, and orders for Commander Rak'don to equip his light attack craft with visual lock on missiles."
"Yes sir, relaying orders now."
Go'mon patted his subordinate on the shoulder hard enough to make them wince as he stepped back to gaze up at the massive map of Golgotha on the big screen. Small purple dots converging on a black dot that symbolized the human base of operations. He noticed that Mar'tek's forces were delayed, having only made it roughly halfway to their staging area. Walking over to the Comm's desk he asked.
"What's taking Commander Mar'tek so long to get into position?"
"A small group of human Saboteurs dropped a pair of buildings across the roadway, they're still clearing the rubble sir."
Go'mon nodded, picking idly at his metal teeth with the sharp point of his war gauntlet's index finger.
"Hm... I thought the parasite's response was oddly punctual, color me surprised they had the wherewithal to keep scouts. Move Mar'tek to the rear of the attack plan and tell Rak'don he's up next."
"Yessir!"
Go'mon chuckled haughtily, exiting the command room and returning to his field office. Setting his helmet on top of his desk he picked up the communication stick for sylva.
"Sylva, Would you kindly deal with that gate once you've landed?~"
There was a pause before.
"I'm too injured to follow that order sir."
Go'mon raised an eyebrow crest at the monotone voice that echoed back through the device.
"you've never refused a command before darling, would you kindly take care of the gate?"
The pause was longer this time, much longer this time. Then, a different, much younger voice came through, filled with fear, but also tainted with determination.
"Fuck you, Go'mon. These are our friends."
The sound of penny whistles and drums accompanied the words before the comms device popped in his gauntlet with the sound of a musket shot. Impossibly thick gray smoke pulsing from the speaker as he snarled and tossed it to the side.
"Bobby, Would you be a dear and retrieve your sister for me?"
The almost seven foot tall brute slowly nodded, eyes dull behind his ceramite mask as he stomped from the command center, bulky combat armor clattering and clunking with each step. Go'mon pressed his metal teeth together with a hiss. That damned warrior corrupted everything he touched with delusions of free will. Go'mon grabbed a fungal cigar from the box General Da'kos had given him as a thank you gift. The sweet, smoky flavor filling his maw as he lit it with the glowing hot blade of his gauntlet's thumb. He relaxed into his chair, flicking his cape out from beneath him as he enjoyed the cigar to relieve some momentary stress. His body suddenly flared with tingling power as the voice of Conquest growled in his ear.
"Kill that boy before he realises your plan. if he finds out your intentions he won't hold back."
Go'mon puffed the cigar and pulled it from his lips, letting it burst into purple flames and crumble away into cinders as he rose from his chair. He stepped out into the command center and commanded.
"Get me a buzzard to that battlefield, Order's from Conquest herself!"
There was a moment of silence as he let his aura roll over the command room, several of the comms officers immediately setting up a Buzzard for his departure.
...
Dust kicked off the ground as Drake's jump pack slowed his fall meters above the ground, He hit the ground and tore it from his back, whipping it into a group of soldiers and hitting it with a jet of pale flames.
The pack detonated in ball of orange fire that vaporized the soldiers, his cape fluttering in the backdraft before he whipped his sword from it's sheath, keen edges wreathed in pale flames as he took a Geknosian's arm off at the elbow as they tried to stuff a blaster pistol in his face. He snatched the blaster pistol from the air, using it to put a kinetic bolt into the faceplate of a powerarmored soldier with a Warhammer, Crumpling it inwards as he slid a foot back, another warhammer crashing into the ground where he'd just been standing. Another kinetic bolt tore off the soldier's pauldron as the hammer swung up at his face, making him reel back as another hammerhead caught him at the small of his back and knocked the air from his lungs. Another hammer slammed into his faceplate, forcing him to kick himself into a flip to land back on his feet. Ears ringing he deflected a Warhammer with his sword before putting another blaster bolt into the wielder's faceplate. But even as they fell back, another hammerblow hit the side of his helmet and smacked him down. Drake rolled out of the way as twenty millimeter high-explosive rounds shredded his assailants, allowing him to get to his feet as the war-bots formed a lethal semicircle, sending high explosive firepowerinto the rear column of the Geknosian assault at a blistering pace. Drake shook his head clear and vaulted over the back of one, hearing it's gun fall silent as he landed in it's cone of fire. Several flowing chops decimated a small squad of Geknosians as he tried to fight his way to the center of the column where the Gallicks hammered the gate with kinetic penetrators. The armored gate shuddering with each blow as Drake dodged war gauntlets and hammers, retaliating with fast slashes and blinding thrusts. Purple blood drenching him as his heart began to pound with battle lust.
He heard a mighty roar and crackle as one of the flying machines opened up with it's chin gun, harassing a gallick with 20mm High explosive rounds to get it's attention off the gates. It's shadow passing overhead with a Buzzard in pursuit as it slalomed low through the buildings to come back for another gun run. There was a ground shaking Boom! as something exploded beyond the rooftops, a Buzzard, smoking from one engine buzzing overhead and away from the battlefield. Drake quickly returned his focus to the battlefield, Smacking a Warhammer to the side with the blaster pistol before thrusting the blade right beneath the soldier's chin, twisting, and pulling free as a war-bot fell forward, a molten pit of slag glowing in it's back as he turned his head to face another column of armor and armored soldiers as they rounded onto the battlefield, a Buzzard painted the deepest, most royal purple he'd ever seen hovered low in front of them.
A geknosian in gold and purple armor fell from the open door, Cape of purple silk flowing behind them as they landed with one palm against the ground, Dark scimitar slashed out to the side as a crescent blade of purple energy was slung straight at Drake. Death's chosen slashed upward at the crescent, but it flowed around his blade, cutting across his chest and bringing with it a foul, draining weakness as a cold, familiar voice called out.
"That one's mine boys!~ all mine!~"
Drake hadn't recognized Go'mon in the ornate armor, but now there was no mistaking it. He tried to take a step forward but his legs buckled beneath him, sending him to his knees as a festering cold spread from the wounds made by the crescent blade that never touched his armor. He looked in confusion at his sword as the pale flames flickered out, then up just as Go'mons armored shin cracked into the side of his helmet, flinging him through a building as his mind reeled with confusion. He pulled himself from the rubble around him, stumbling to the side as a blade of purple energy sliced through the rubble he'd just been buried in without leaving a mark. He tossed the blaster pistol to the side, bringing the free hand to his mouth, intending to rip a ring off with his teeth. But as Go'mon slung another blade of purple energy with a cackle, He missed the ring, biting off his left index finger, ring and all as a boost of power burned the creeping cold away. He spit the severed digit to the ground as the ring still on it puffed into smoke.
"Feeling weak boy?!~ like your power's been drained?~"
Go'mon purred as he took a step forward, aura swelling with power as he held up the black sword.
"The blade of greed will do that if you let it touch you~"
Go'mon took an unfamiliar stance, Blade arched over his head and pointed down as he fell into a low, wide stance, one arm pushed forward as the blades on his war gauntlet's fingers glowed orange with heat. Drake fell into his peasants guard, gripping his sword in two hands as he glared at Go'mon. His gaze flickered off go'mon for a split second as he thought of everyone still in the mansion and the Geknosian chosen surged forward in a flash of purple light to run drake through before kicking him through the back wall of the building, Drake's power draining away like the blood pouring from the hole in his Lorica. He barely deflected Go'mons black blade as Conquest's chosen surged forward with a brutal slash, unable to focus for the split second required to dissipate a ring and refresh his power. Go'mons aura blooming with power with each blow of that black blade. Drake burst through a wall and into an empty street, tumbling ass over head as he desperately held onto his sword.
Angry red blood spilled from the hole in his armor as he got his elbows under him, a pair of golden boots clomping into view as Go'mon gloated, a softly flickering bloom of pale purple flames in his palm.
"All this power, and you don't even know how to properly control or wield it... Don't worry, you won't have it long~"
Drake manage to dissipate the remaining rings on his left hand, an intoxicating burst of power allowing him to launch himself back away from Go'mon as his wounds knitted closed, severed finger growing back with a crunching, fleshy noise. He could feel Go'mons grin behind the snarling visage of his helmet as he fell into a peasants guard, feeling far too weak for having removed five rings. The two stared at each other silently, one of the flying machines spinning to the ground before exploding into a fireball behind Go'mon. Drake fet a deathly calm fall over him as he twisted his sword up into a high guard.
He had to make it back to his people, no matter what. The thumb and pinkie ring on his right hand puffed into smoke as he felt those corvid like wings form at his back, a cold cage of festering ice around the burning sun of rage in his heart. Go'mon took a simple offensive guard, twirling the scimitar with obvious skill in a figure eight in front of him.
The two chosen launched themselves at each other, Drake wreathed in black smoke as Go'mon exploded with pale purple light; the pavement cracking beneath their feet with the violence of the action.
...
Martha tended to the mounting wounded in the infirmary as fast as she could, back splayed open as small gossamer arms allowed her to work on several wounded at once. Many of the ex-slave women helped, binding wounds with clean bandages and splinting broken limbs like they had back at the plantations. Hearing the large wooden doors of the ballroom infirmary slam open, she looked up as Destrier and Caz hauled in a pale remin and a Brutalized young woman. Keeping one hand holding a bundle of gauze against the bleeding wound she was attempting to close up, The young man looking up at her with fear, pain, and hope on his face as he helped hold the gauze down. Pointing to two empty beds she called out.
"Set them there! Where's Drake?! We could really use the walking embodiment of Death right now!"
Destrier hoarsely called back, setting Remin into a bed as the old man struggled to keep his eyes open.
"He's fighting his way towards us from the rear!"
Caz helped the battered young woman into a bed where she curled into the fetal position before the Markswoman swept back out of the infirmary, Huntress humming as she slammed a new flechette into the barrel. Martha continued tying off tattered blood vessels, trying to keep the young man from bleeding out as Cassius appeared next to her, shaking his hands dry after scrubbing them with antiseptic to help close up the gnarly gash in the stomach of the wounded man behind her. Martha's heart pounded in her throat as she finally managed to sew the wound closed before hitting the fighter with a sedative to ease his pain and knock him out. She wanted to cry but held in her tears as she turned around to focus on the same patient as Cassius, but even as she did, the young man placed a bloodied palm on her forearm. She felt a lone tear drip down her snout as she looked at the mans deathly stillness, eyes closed in quiet acceptance of his fate, a grim smile on his face.
Her legs felt weak beneath her as she leaned on Cassius, watching Destrier rush out of the infirmary out of the corner of her eye.
"we're going to need a miracle if we want to make it out of this alive..."
She whimpered as the din of battle echoed dully from outside. That was when a wounded man sat up, grunting as he held the bandages across his torso. She rushed over to stop him from tumbling out of bed when he simply fell through the floor, an odd superposition happening where he was there and not for a split second. But when it faded, there was a note left on the ground, scrawled in blood red, blotchy words.
"I'll be back, and I won't be alone."
Martha could only hope that was true as she turned to continue tending the wounded, Despair filling her heart as more wounded were brought in from the ramparts.
...
Halcyon held the gate, rifle spitting hatred from behind one of the wall's crenellations as one of his Hellions fell next to him, skull split open by gauss slug. Halcyon glanced down at the gate where Thomas and another hulking agri-droid held it against the wall, the gate rattling with each impact of a Gallick's kinetic penetrator, apples of sunlight spreading across the ground where they'd simply sailed straight through. The Geknosian reinforcements turning an already blistering hail of various projectiles and beams becoming an impassable force as several of their light cruisers fired on the helicopters that circled over the battlefield. Missiles streaking upwards and shredding the soft-skinned aircraft, forcing them to take evasive maneuvers and stop the pulse-pounding barrage of their rotary cannons. Halcyon's attention was drawn to the sky as an impossibly loud crash of steel on steel accompanied a streak of pale purple light and void black as they shot into the sky. The black streak getting slammed down by a brutal, unseen strike that made Halcyon's heart leap into his throat. What kind of monster could go toe to toe with Drake, and appear to be winning.
Halcyon, peaked past the cranellation he had his back against, a gauss slug taking his eye out and making him shout in pain as he jerked his head back. Ripping a bundle of gauze from his medi-pack, he rolled it out and bunched it up, pressing it against his vacant and shattered eye socket as a bout of lightheadedness turned the edges of his reduced vision dark.
One of his men crouched beside him flinching when chips of stone exploded from the crenellation they'd been taking cover behind, some sort of heavy weapon having been aimed at them as they darted for Halcyon. Halcyon looked into their eyes, face just as dismayed as he felt, their words barely audible over the din of battle.
"what do we do, sir...?"
Halcyon let out a sigh, shouting over the roar of gunfire.
"Pull back! secure the mansion!"
The fighters didn't need to be told twice as the ramparts were abandoned, leaping from the walls to sprint back to the mansion, The agri-bots forming a phalanx behind them to cover their retreat. But Halcyon couldn't help but feel this is exactly what the Geknosians wanted.
But even as the fighters swarmed into the Mansion, Two figures walked past them.
A hulking man in dark samurai armor wielding an lmg and a smaller woman with a flowing furred cloak and white mask, carrying an ornate rail rifle walked past them through the doors.
Halcyon watched in dismayed confusion as Caz and Destrier stepped out into the sunlight, a jump pack freshly mounted on Destriers back beside his kanabo. Another smaller figure appeared as if from thin air, Cassius spinning the weight at the end of a chain attached to a kama menacingly as the doors closed behind them, massive metal shutters sealing them out as the mansion was locked down. He couldn't help but smile grimly.
There was a reason they were Drake's friends, and it wasn't because they were the best fighters.
It was because when everyone else ran away, they ran towards the fight... regardless of their own safety.
......
Part 109: will be linked here upon release.

People like to point out that GDP, in nominal terms, is not a good way of comparing economies, and GDP PPP is better at taking into account price differences.
People give the Haircut example: How a haircut in India costs way less than a haircut in Denmark, even though the end product is the same: a new hairstyle.
But I see a flaw in this analogy. Within the SAME country, there may exist 2 different Hair Saloons who do the job for very different prices: One which does the job in some back-alley in a shack, and the other in a premium mall with good airconditioning and bg music and stuff.
When calculating GDP, it would be reasonable to expect that the premium saloon would add more to the bottom line of a country's GDP, BUT WAIT, for the purpose of this comparison, doesn’t the hair saloon in Denmark get to call itself a "premium" saloon by virtue of the fact that the society that encloses it is a developed one, and how the customers get to breathe clean air while being worked on, how they have functioning legal recourse if the barber ends up hurting them, and how they can be assured that the employees of the establishment are being paid a decent wage, and kinda also the fact that Denmark is, on average, a more desirable place to live in than India, and the customers of the Danish Saloon are virtually paying the extra costs as a kind of fee for getting to live in such a desirable place to live. The saloons in India, on the other hand, provide them with none of that. This "extra" value being provided to the customer is a very tangible good, but proponents of GDP PPP ignore all this and apparently equate the value of the product - a "Haircut" - being produced in either economy because, according to them, at the end of the day, it's the same old "Haircut".
What do you think about this? Is GDP PPP an honest metric or does it just expand to Please Pretend we're not Poor.

I've multiple leather jackets (real/fullgrain) and thinking to try faux leather jacket for the first time. I understand that faux leather jackets doesn't last long but I'm okay with that.
My questions are;

1. Which brands make a good faux leather jacket/most demanded brands
2. What should be the ideal price for a average to good faux leather jacket (I've seen brands are selling at $30 to $200 -- Not sure if there is a big quality different or just a brand name markup.

[prev]
As it stood, my crazy plan certainly seemed to resonate with the gathered leaders, though they did offer their own suggestions as to how best to implement improvements and contingencies. I of course welcomed each and every one of them, then debated their merits and as the hours flew by we weeded out the ideas that simply would not work and expanded on those that would.
It was quite honestly refreshing to not have to do all the thinking for once, it felt nice to do a little outsourcing as one might describe it. Besides, as many would say I only had one point of view, well, two if we’re being literal, that of a human and an arachne, the former coming from a world without magic and monstrous beings like those I had surrounded myself with.
Their unique viewpoints had offered a wealth of possibilities and were in their own ways invaluable to the war effort. I am glad that they all managed to get along as well. I had seen no hint of animosity or long held grudges between any of them, not even the age old and quite frankly stereotypical hostility between the elves and dwarves had reared its head. In fact, the two races had seemingly fed into each other's ideas with excited glee, and I had almost expected there to be a bout of mad cackling near the end of their ramblings.
Of course now the meeting was over and we were all starting our preparations. The basic prep wouldn’t take that long, ensuring our warriors were all well supplied, their weapons and armor at peak quality before the battle was paramount. It was everything else about the plan that would take time, time we must ensure we had if we were to succeed. And so I headed for the Aberrant Spire, a place I had not been in a long time.
As I followed the streets I was reminded of my first delve into this city, back when it was fully under the control of vile abominations. I paused, looking at a short building on my right, large claw marks scoring the wall near the lip of the roof. I remember one of those beasts had attempted to climb up to get me as I traversed the rooftops.
Remembering that I felt a shiver run down my spine and issued a silent word of thanks that such horrors no longer existed in my new home, that vibrant life had returned to these hallowed streets. It was a place of hope now, not terror.
It was with this remembering of certain facts that I began looking for a faster means of travel to reach the Spire, as walking would be a long and arduous task indeed. Thankfully this was something that was already thought of, for as I meandered through the streets in my search I came across a somewhat raised walkway, except this walkway had a pair of lines worked from crystal or metal, I couldn’t rightly tell which, running through it.
I paused, wondering how I had never seen this thing before and in doing so I bore witness to its purpose. A merchant with a large wagon approached a circular pattern on the walkway, ensured his wares were well secured and then spoke a destination. At once a ball of energy surrounded him and the wagon, raising it all off the ground and then sending him zipping along, following the right hand line. Even as I watched, another traveler came from the opposite direction, the magic wrought into the pathway depositing them gently off to one side and they continued on their merry way.
I had to wonder why thing wasn’t around the first time I had come here, though the more I looked at the construction the stone looked somewhat fresh, perhaps it was simply a new addition and not something from the city’s past. Either way, it looked mighty useful so I stepped into the circle and took a deep breath.
“The Aberrant Spire.” I spoke clearly, and felt myself go weightless. The magic ball of energy formed around me, lifting me off solid ground and leaving me floating, which certainly triggered a slight fear response from my arachnid instincts. I was moved into position and then shot forward. It took all I had to not scream, sudden fear turning into excitement as my human experiences harkened back to several amusement park visits as a kid and getting to ride the roller coasters.
Though instead of loop the loops and corkscrews it was naught but straight lines and gentle curves that weaved through and over the city streets. Everything was a blur and yet I hardly felt it, really all that I felt was a vague sense of motion in my gut and the wind pulling at my hair, but that was it. I did see the spire come into view however, and steadily it grew larger and larger till at last it dominated the skyline.
My breakneck pace started to slow and just as it had with the other traveler, the magic gently shifted me to one side and then put me down softly. I found my legs were incredibly wobbly and as such I simply stood there and waited for the wobbling to cease. Once it had I stepped off the platform and down onto the street proper, finally taking in the sights as it were.
If the areas around the palace and the rest of the city were for merchants, common folk and nobility, then this area was almost exclusively inhabited by those with magical talents. I saw robed figures flitting to and fro, some hovering along on disks of light or wind, one even walked into a shadowy patch and vanished, presumably reappearing elsewhere. And over it all loomed the Spire, still as pretty and strange as it had been, though it seemed to glow with newfound life and vigor.
The teleporter complex seemed in working order as well, though it would have to be since new mages had taken up residence in the spire above. I made for the complex, many mages who had been engrossed in walking and thinking doing double takes as I passed. I simply nodded at each in turn and continued on my merry way, entering the complex and getting bombarded by the sounds of a busy building. Pages and mages zipped about, conducting their various tasks as they did, stepping into or out of the teleporters as needed. It felt almost like that one time I’d visited Grand Central, boy hadn’t that been fun.
I decided that I should probably get some directions to the person that would be most suited to help me with my plan, really whomever happened to be in charge of this place would be perfect for that and so I stepped up to a circular desk that seemed to be staffed by a mixture of elves, dwarves, humans and even a slime person, the latter wobbling in place and simply shifting their features about to face anyone that spoke to them.
I stopped before an elf, the woman looking up and recognition dawning on her face as she beheld me.
“Y-Your majesty! What brings you all the way out here?” She stammered even as she made to stand and bow. I waved her back down into her seat with a smile, the elf sinking back down into her seat.
“I have business with whomever is in charge of the Spire and I have found that I have no idea who that happens to be. I was hoping to change that, and get directions as well.”
The woman nodded, still a bit frazzled thanks to an unannounced visit by royalty.
“I-I can do that, a moment please your majesty.” She said, hunching over a large book that sat before her and furiously flipping through it. Once she found what she needed, she opened a drawer and pulled out what looked like some sort of talisman, setting it down before me on the desk. “Firstly, this will identify you as not only an authorized visitor to the spire, but also as royalty. Granted we all know you are but the spire itself wouldn’t and so would treat you as an intruder if you didn’t carry this with you at all times. And considering your authority over us all, it will allow you to access areas that would be otherwise restricted to normal visitors.”
As she explained its function I picked the talisman up and looked it over. It was a simple thing, not too gaudy though I couldn’t help but notice a coat of arms upon it that had a distinctly arachne flavor to it. I could swear I’d seen it before somewhere else, perhaps that would have to be something else I looked into later.
“I can call an escort for you, they can guide you right to the Archmage.” The receptionist spoke, snapping me from my thoughts as I affixed the talisman to my breast.
“That won’t be necessary, a map will suffice. I am an adventurer first and a queen second after all.” Chuckling, I watched her nod and pull a sheet of parchment towards her, a hand hovering over the surface and magic flowing from her palm onto the page. What looked like ink appeared on it, which then took the shape of the current room I resided in. Words even appeared, informing me that I could use any of the teleporters I wished.
“The man you are looking for is Archmage Yesric. As far as I know he doesn’t have any pressing duties today so you should find him sequestered in his office.” The receptionist rose and bowed again, keeping her hunched over pose even as I started to walk away.
“Thank you, you’ve been most helpful.” I said. I took a subtle look over my shoulder and was relieved to see that she’d sat back down and was currently in the midst of furious conversation with her coworkers. Which was fair, not every day a member of royalty comes asking for help right?
Stepping into the teleporter I was promptly deposited into the halls of the Spire, which now bustled with activity. Mostly staff it seemed, though I spotted several gaggles of younger folk all dressed in something reminiscent of school uniforms rushing through the halls, their expressions belying a desperate desire to reach their destination as quickly as possible. I had heard nothing about the spire being used as some sort of school, though I suppose it only made sense to train the next generation of magic users in a place where magic was dominant.
Looking down at the map I’d been provided, I was pleased to see that my current position was reflected upon its surface. But now there was a handy dandy guiding line that pointed down a hallway to my right. And so without further ado, I followed it. People naturally got out of my way, though whether that was because I took up most of the hall or because they knew who I was I wasn’t sure, either way I did my best to not impede their progress too much.
Turning a corner I was suddenly met with an empty hallway, one that slowly began to fill with black smoke. My gut twisted and my head felt heavy, my eyes began to flutter and then I blinked, the hallway was bustling with people, no longer filled with the smoke. I licked my lips, trying to shake the ghosts of the past and move forward, though my legs couldn’t help but shiver slightly with every step I took.
Floor by floor I made my way closer to my target, till eventually I was directed through a door into what looked like every executive's office that I’d ever seen, just with a fantasy twist to it. Or rather, it was the little office for a secretary that I entered, which presumably meant that through the next door was what I was looking for.
A bespectacled goblin lass looked up from a large tome and blinked at me, her eyes rather enlarged thanks to the lenses that sat before them.
“Can I help you?” She drawled tiredly, and I stepped up to a good distance from her desk.
“Yes, I’m here to speak with the Archmage.”
“I do not recall setting any meetings today. May I ask who wishes for this audience?” She said, flipping through another much smaller tome that sat nearby.
“Safa Eventra.”
She continued to look through this smaller book, before freezing, her head slowly turning towards me. Now she really seemed to be looking at me and I could only smile politely back at her.
“A-Apologies your majesty, a moment if you please, I must inform the Archmage of your presence.” She said, hopping down off her chair and scampering hurriedly towards the other door. I didn’t say anything, instead just engaging in the arachne equivalent of rocking back and forth on my heels. She slipped through the door and I could hear muffled speech before several loud thuds and some not so muffled cursing ensued. The goblin secretary appeared, leaning against the door after closing it.
“The archmage will see you in just a moment, your majesty.” She said, resuming her post and doing her best to look professional for me.
“That’s quite alright, I’m in no rush.” I responded, humming softly to myself as I looked around the room. A moment later, I heard a voice call out from the office and since that was my cue, I bowed my head to the secretary and stepped through the door into the archmage's office.
[prev]

I'm sitting in my nice apartment in the favorite city with my handsome boyfriend and my cuddly cat, crying. I can't find a job and I'm scared. It feels like I am washing away my achievements with every tear that runs down my face. I can't see beyond this hurdle to the beautiful life around me, but I refuse to relax until I get that offer letter. Maybe I'm acting entitled, but I can't help but fearfully imagine that without a job, this life in front of me could be taken away. I know I am not alone but that doesn't give me camaraderie, rather sheer hopelessness and panic. Shouldn't a job be more of a right than a privilege?
I am on a ride with the universe. Every 10 days or so, I feel a spark of hope with an enlightened new venture that could pan out. A dream job posting, a new email from a recruiter, a LinkedIn notification, a friend who knows someone. Often it's just a grand promise of an opportunity from yet another charlatan that I always fall heavily for. The bottom feels endless, with hundreds of applications rotting in some forgotten inbox. Currently left unread by my last application spree, resources tapped out, zero opportunities on the horizon paired with a rolling wave of bad surprises. New charges, prices rising, emergencies, taxes, rent, health, bills. Normal stuff I could handle if I had a job! It just all feels so heavy and I have no foundation to hold it up anymore.
Every night, I battle with myself to try and fall asleep. Pills, vitamins, tinctures, teas, meditations, exercises, ASMR, cooking videos, anything. Now it's just a mixture of it all along with trying to soothe my nerves enough to trick my brain that it's tired and needs to stop chattering. Once I finally get to sleep, I usually startle awake around 3:30, scared out of my wits, my nerves are on fire and I am visualizing something in the room with me that is somehow evil and staring at me. I try to calm myself down with a bathroom trip, a prayer, and eventually more phone time feeling the side of my face burning from fear, my stomach tossing in knots. I lay still in the light of my phone while I try not to let the feeling that something is going to pop out and grab me. Too scared to have my feet feel the air outside of the covers so I don’t get dragged by whatever evil thing is at the foot of my bed or watching me from the walls.
This started during the pandemic. I was so stressed out I started having hallucinatory night terrors. It resumes itself whenever I am stressed. My body turns on me at times when I need peace, startling me awake for fear of a dark shadow demon with long fingers near the window or a spindly witch with ear-to-ear pointed teeth at the top of my wardrobe. Objects and reflections transform into evil entities that startle me awake in fear. My body is in fight or flight mode, my neck is tingling, all the hairs on my body are standing to attention and I feel every muscle in my body tense. I can't wake anyone up because I am frozen within my terror. The most I can do is ignore it and run towards the real evil, my phone. A pacifier for anxiety that only feeds my fear more and more every time I use it. I can't stop turning towards it because I would have to sit and stare at the nightmarish demon taking the form of the curtains on my window that night. The demon always seems so real when it approaches me, when it wakes me up to watch me suffer.
I know my night terrors are just a symptom of a bigger issue, my stress. I also know they are genetic. My dad would wake up screaming in the night and my mom would flip the lights on to snap him out of it. My brother would take different forms of his night terrors often sitting in front of the TV in his usual spot when we were younger. Now his wife describes him waking her up in the middle of the night by removing her "live laugh love" decor and putting it in the garage. I wish my night terrors would just let me redecorate. I am in an impossible position, my stress is causing my night terrors, but my money problems are causing me stress. So essentially, the demon in the corner of the room is a figment of my bank account, my rejected applications, my dead-end wishes for a career, my student loan debt, and astronomical rent. How can I, an unemployed and overly anxious person, finally crush this demon? Well, I've bought some sage today. That's a start.
In my dream apartment with my boyfriend and my cat, I find myself in tears, scared, and jobless. Each tear feels like an erasure of my achievements. I’m terrified of losing everything without a job. I feel alone and panicked. Despite the occasional flicker of hope with a potential opportunity, the reality is hundreds of untouched applications and a constant wave of financial difficulties.
Sleep is a struggle, with anxiety-induced insomnia and night terrors. Each night, I wake up in fear, hallucinating terrifying entities. These terrors, a manifestation of stress, are inherited. My father and brother experienced similar episodes. Now, my stress and financial woes fuel these night terrors. I’m caught in a vicious cycle - stress causing night terrors and financial troubles causing stress. How can I, unemployed and anxious, overcome this? I've started by buying some sage.

Hello Apes.
Back with another review of all the tweets sent from memelord and cat inspiration, Roaring Kitty.
If you missed my first review for 13th May, you can find it here.
To reiterate, the description of each tweet is to the best of my knowledge the references made and the speculation is pure speculation on my part, this is just for fun and shouldn't be taken as any financial advice, make your own decisions, I just like the stock. If you have anything to add feel free to in the comments and I'll do my best to update the post.
11am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790396654971224430
Description: The infamous scene from the movie Troy where Achilles rather reluctantly at first, comes forward to fight the mighty Boagrius. Achilles runs at him, defending against a few spear throws then with one epic jump and slide, stabs Boagrius with this blade killing him in one clean strike. The music dubbed on this clip is Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm of the War Drums by A Perfect Circle.
Speculation: Chosen warrior blessed by the gods comes forward in front of the masses and takes out the big baddie. You could make the speculation that the song could reference something to do with DRS (A Perfect Circle) and SHFs bleeding out (counting bodies like sheep).
11.30am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790404203715887238
Description: First of all we have a cat talking to itself in the mirror stating the words, "Don't be the bigger person today, be the person that helps them understand that sometimes when you f**k around, we find out...". We then cut to arrested development where Buster who is portrayed as a bear has something to say, "i wanna shoot down everything you say, so i feel good about myself. cause i'm an uptight [insert copious amounts of swearing].
Speculation: First part DFV knows they (Shorts) have messed around again and have been doing it dirty. The gig is up again, time to close and pay up. The second part is a funny scene from arrested development where Buster, a character who just cannot fit in properly goes AWAL to try and show he has a nasty side, it just comes across as way too far. DFV just poking fun at bears here no doubt.
12:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790411757120561628
Description: First we have a scene from The Town where Doug says to James, "I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people." and James replies, "Who's car are we going to take?" Then it cuts to Mad Max where there are a load of sand buggy cars going nuts with flame throwers and all sorts of chaos with the song Du Hast by Rammstein playing in the background.
Speculation: I haven't seen the Town but from reading online this scene showed the amazing friendship between Doug and James when James simply replies, who's car are we going to take? in response to what sounds like a risky ask for help from Doug. Then with Mad Max: Fury Road we have a film about a post apocalyptic survivor in Max Rockatansky who eventually brings down a warlords Citadel (hmmm).
12:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790419301976903884
Description: First we have the whistling of Omar from The Wire, then we have a scene from the Kingsmen where they are locked in a pub with Galahad and the quote "Manners maketh man" and finally we have a scene from Oldboy with a big fight scene cut alongside some anime which is from demon slayer
Speculation: The whistling is synonymous with Omar and is to the tune of a nursery rhyme, "the farmer in the dell", anyone that watched The Wire would know instantly that this means Omar is coming and this means you best get out the way as he is coming with his double-barreled shotgun and he certainly won't hesitate to use it. The Kingsmen scene where they are locked in the pub is a particularly violent scene and it's an interesting film to reference, the plot *Film spoiler here* is essentially about a boy named Eggsy from a lower-class neighbourhood who's father dies and he finds out that his father was part of an elite inner circle of upper class. After trying to be part of this group, Eggsy discovers their secret plot to take over the world and takes it into his own hands to save the day. u/ ThePhenomNoku talks about the last 2 referenced films; "So the anime is demon slayer. It’s about a kid who has everything taken from him and trains to learn how to fight demons. Though as a sidenote he kind of carries one around with him. It’s complicated.The other movie with the guy holding the person, & the fight scene is the original Oldboy, and without giving too much of the plot away it’s about a dude who is falsely imprisoned for a couple of years or so, and then enacts his revenge."
1:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790426851409817615
Description: Firstly we have the scene from Oceans 11 where Danny Ocean is chatting to Rusty Ryan right in the initial stage of their plan to heist the casino. He talks about how it's never been done before, will need planning and a large crew and Ryan asks if they are going to use guns, he replies "not exactly, there's lots of security" and finally Ryan asks "what's the target?". We then cut to a film i'm not aware (anyone help here?) of where an older gentleman shows a calculator to a young woman and the calculator says "Just up" on it then the woman says "yes that looks correct"
Speculation: In Oceans 11 there was a lot of planning and variables that had to happen for everything to work. It was a high risk high reward plan with a lot set up to go against but it's possible. The target has always been "just up", DFV just reiterating what he said in the first place.
1:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790434400494116873
Description: First we have a scene from Old School where he states, "A loophole?" "Yes. Well, it's interesting, sir. As stupid as they appear, they're actually very good at paperwork. It's quite an anomaly." then it cuts to a scene from the same film with the C&C factory everybody dance now song and a cheerleading dance attempt
Speculation: Of course with the loophole stuff it could be about all of the DD that has been done on what has gone on over the years but it could equally be about SHFs finding loopholes to get out of the mess they are in with the stock. The second part the judges clearly don't feel the attempt of the cheerleading or gymnastics piece they are portraying is any good but they are giving it a go and it's suppose to a comedy. Note the school is the cougars, cat links again of course.
2:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790441953659687421
Description: The first part is taken from The Batman and has Batman's monologue running and when the Batman signal is fired into the sky, a kitty shadow is shown instead of the Batman logo. It ends with an emphasis on "Fear is a Tool".
Speculation: Batman was of course a good hero who would rid the streets of criminals, they would scare just at the sight of the batman signal being fired knowing that they were about to get wrecked. In this clip, two years has been replaced with three years in the monologue and the kitty signal is of course a nice touch.
2:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790449499506192405
Description: This clip is taken from Mr Robot and is where Elliot plays eXit, a text based computer game that requires him to answer a series of questions in a text based game.
Speculation: I think it's best just to give the description of what happens in this scene taken from the fandom page. Elliot chooses to sit down with the friend in the dungeon. He lights a match and reads the note "Don't leave me here." Elliot chooses to stay. The alarm shuts off. An explosion happens nearby. Robot opens the door to find a fire raging outside. He concludes it's too late. Both of them sit down. They each say "I love you." Explosions rage around the room. "It's an exciting time in the world," Elliot says. Fade to red. Take from that what you will.
3:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790457051115847720
Description: This scene is taken from the movie Scream (2022), a direct sequel to Scream 4. A lot of the text has been changed but to summarize, one person states "he is making a requel" then there is some talk about the squeeze movie that came out last year and how most people in the actual know hated it and how "squeeze mid" pissed on their "covidhood", how the main character is a mary sue? Then a few cuts of Scream and how real squeeze movies have meta slasher whodunnits and that to some people the original is their favorite thing in the world
Speculation: A requel is A movie which revisits the subject matter of an earlier film but is not a remake or a linear continuation of its plot (i.e. a sequel or prequel). So essentially what is happening right now with the stock is not exactly the same of what has happened before but it is essentially a revisit of the same subject regarding squeezes. A mid squeeze implies that it wasn't as high as the squeeze could have gone and the theme of slashers and murdered people really suggests heads will roll (SHFs hopefully).
3:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790464599575167004
Description: This is a scene from Candyman where he has come for the woman. There is some cat flashes and images going on and the Woman in this is tagged as a bear (that is someone who is down on a stock or market, usually would short). Candyman talks about how there is no need for the bear to leave yet and that he was obliged to come then he says "be my victim" and a bumble bee comes out of the word be.
Speculation: Time is running out for the bear, they can hang around for a while longer but they will be the victim. This is more of the DFV is coming for you as he dresses himself up as a rampaging murderer targeting the bear in this case. Not sure on the bee, whether that is DFV just having some fun or if it's that a sting is coming in some sense.
4:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790472153470759217
Description: Taken from No Country for Old Men, Carson states he is a day trader and that Anton doesn't have to do this (Anton is going to kill him) tell him he could just go home. Carson continues that Anton could have 14 grand out of an ATM and just walk away before finally stating "do you have any idea how crazy you are?". Anton replies, "you mean the nature of these memes?" to which Carson says "I mean the nature of you!" The scene ends with the phone ringing.
Speculation: DFV putting himself into the mode of Anton from No Country for Old Men is quite the statement. For those who haven't seen this movie, Anton is a wrecking ball of a killer and adheres by his rulebook to seek out different people through the movie to take out. Carson being the desperate short seller here who is not understanding why DFV isn't just playing by the usual financial rules and taking his gains and going. The phone ringing at end could be an implication of margin calls ringing for the desperate short seller.
8:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526
Description: This is taken from Braveheart and the prisoner (William Wallace) is asked to say a word in a famous scene where WW shouts "FREEEEDOM" only in this clip its "GAMESTOOOOOOOP".
Speculation: This is the first direct reference to Gamestop word for word and it should be noted that this is the scene where William Wallace is about to be executed. Could mean that DFV is willing to risk it all for Gamestop like William Wallace martyring himself for the freedom of Scotland.
Hope you enjoyed.
Love ya DFV