Way to sign letters

I am wondering if the level cap for summoning goes away, as it does when using a multiplayer password, when using group passwords WITH the small golden effigy sign? Does the small golden effigy work the same way with group passwords or does it only take away the level cap for summoning when using the multiplayer password and tarnished’s furled finger specifically? I want to level up some more but I’m already at level 151 so I don’t want to get too high of a level and not be able to help randoms beat bosses.

Background: So like the post says, I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm experiencing off and on excruciating pain in my lower left side of teeth. The pain started suddenly yesterday morning, went away last night and returned this afternoon. I can't pinpoint which tooth it is, and when I tap on my teeth to try and identify where the pain is, they all hurt. The pain stretches all the way from my back left 2nd molar to my left canine. The pain feels very deep in my lower front jaw. When I use orajel the acute pain is gone but I still feel a dull achy-ness in my jaw. Tylenol helps significantly. Cold/heat/sugar do not make it worse. I can't see any visible cavities. I have no fever or facial swelling or swollen glands. No pus or foul odotaste in my mouth.
My main question: I obviously have to see a dentist, but I can't get into mine until Thursday. I live in a rural area and the closest emergency dentist to me that takes my insurance is 2 hours away. I can tough out the pain until then, but I was wondering if I could get some guidance on what signs/symptoms I need to look out for that would mean to go to the ER or make the 2 hour drive to the emergency dentist. Especially with me being pregnant and so far along, I don't want to roll the dice with my baby and I's health.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

I tried reading all the other articles mentioning her name to find more info. At first, I could only find her first and last name along with her middle initial and her age. One of the articles above, which was written in April of 2022, says she was 29 at the time. This means if she is still alive she is either 31 or 32. Another article mentioned she was from South Carolina so I used this info and I was able to find two addresses to add to my evidence. It seems she moved from South Carolina to Virginia around 2020-2022. Coincidentally the most recent house attached to her name was the same city she talked about in the lawsuit so I’m almost positive it’s a match.
There is one other name that is a possibility that is the same age and lived in Georgia. I also found out there was an alternate spelling of her name with two E’s, which can be done intentionally if you don’t want to sign paperwork under your name or if you’re trying to hide your real identity. (My great-grandfather on my dad’s side switched a letter in his last name before he immigrated to the States back in the early 1900’s. He had been to prison in Ireland and wouldn’t have gotten approved for his visa or whatever the equivalent was at the time.)
A lot of details could just be mistakes by these free Osint sites like the one below. Especially with free ones like the one I used, most of the information unless it can be verified should be taken with a grain of salt. https://inteltechniques.com/tools/index.html
The house she was living in during the trial is in Virginia and the one site said it was paid for up front in September of 2021. It cost 1.2 million dollars and is in a pretty wealthy area of Virginia. One source says her first connection to the house was around August 2020. Two sources say her last attachment to the house and P.O. box was around August of 2022, which would have been a few months after all the court business. She also had a PO Box address listed in both states. The one in Virginia wasn’t too far from her house, but the one in SC was over an hour away from the apartments she lived in before the move. Since the last recorded date attached to the house and PO Box are the same, I think it’s safe to say that she moved to Virginia some time in 2022.
I decided to look at both of the addresses and PO Boxes and the other names connected to them. To stay on track and for privacy, I’ll only mention the people who were associated with the house during the same time Mesha was. Unfortunately, her place in SC was an apartment complex so I couldn’t find much more than that. There were also no real significant attachments to the PO box.
The PO box in Virginia is also attached to a woman who was marked as 124 years. Aside from a phone number, which I’m guessing is a dead lady, there is no other info on her profile. The owner of the home in Virginia appears to be a man in his fifties who has been associated with 5 other homes in the same city in Virginia along with one condo and another home about 2 hours outside Houston, Texas. Looking at the places they are all very modest aside from the house attached to Mesha and one other nearby that also cost a little over a million dollars. He appears to have owned the home Mesha stayed at up until March of 2024 when he moved into a little family home in the same city.
Another one of the people marked as living in the house was a woman very similar to Mesha’s age who had 3 other addresses on file. Looking at the dates it appears she grew up in a tiny little house in the sticks of Virginia, then moved to a cheap apartment, then moved into the mansion with Misha, and got another separate apartment a month later. In March of 2024, her name was taken off the lease and a month later it was also taken off the apartment. A couple of weeks ago another address went on file for a hospital in Virginia. I thought this was strange so I looked at the rest of the people who were marked as living at the address while Mesha was there.
One of them was a woman in her seventies who lived in the same house that Mesha did from September of 2021 to December of 2022. Aside from that, her 5 other houses were in California. The one that goes until 2013 is a multiple-million dollar mansion near Palo Alto that appears to have been paid for upfront. The second one she left at the end of 2016 appears to be a store, possibly with an apartment on top in San Francisco. The third is a multimillion dollar mansion in wine country and it has her on the record up until March of this year. There were also two PO Boxes in the same area of wine country, one up until January 2015 that was linked to a flower business, and the other which was up until March of this year and is linked to a wine barrel production company. The current house she lives in is another million-dollar home in the same general area.
Another name attached to the house in Virginia belonged to a man also around the same age with the same last name as the lady above so I’ll assume it’s her husband. He had four homes attached to him along with two PO Boxes. One of the houses was in Pennsylvania, while the other three were in California. Two of the houses were the same ones that his wife had on her profile and the two PO boxes were the same as well. What I found very interesting was the fact that he left all those addresses in March of 2024 and the most recent one connected to him is the same one that Mesha lived in. It appears he moved in right around the time the other lady’s address switched to the hospital.
There were a few other names that popped up in the search that might have lived there at some point. One of them is most likely the son of the couple who lived there, the only one I could connect for sure though is a 31-year-old man from Durham, whose association with the house started around the same time in May and seems ongoing. While looking into all of the court cases connected to Drake I found another court case from 2019 in Virginia accusing Mesha of defrauding a hotel.
After that I looked everywhere I could only find a few mentions of Mesha Collins anywhere on the web, even on social media. The one name that kept popping up was an actor named Misha Collins. The most obvious connection to Drake is that both of their moms are Canadian and their dads are from the States. That doesn’t mean much, but I found his career arc kind of odd along with his back story. I also found a tweet he made that kinda connects him to the situation. Still, if there is any connection he probably just knows Drake from the industry. https://x.com/mishacollins/status/855135669890437120?lang=en
This is another one from one of Misha’s costars from Supernatural https://x.com/jarpad/status/855236923471708160?lang=en
A random Tumblr post isn’t a source and is most likely fanfiction, but I found this interesting. https://www.tumblr.com/go-diane-wincheste183189140191/misha-collins-is- like-a-pedophile
One thing I was wondering if he could be one of his political connections in the US since he started his career working at the White House during the Clinton presidency and was involved in the Monica Lewinsky stuff. Apparently, he isn’t of Russian descent, but his mom gave him a Russian-sounding name because her dream guy was Russian and he said she was a “pro-communist hippy”. I read somewhere that the furthest he could trace back his ancestry was six generations all from Canada and he was the first generation born in the States. This could mean he has some VERY deep roots, similar to Drake’s mom’s side of the family. On the other hand, he also says he was extremely poor as a child and his parents had a hard time keeping a roof over their heads. https://web.archive.org/web/20131230135930/
http://www.everyjoe.com/ 2008/09/24/entertainment/misha-collins-answers-our-top-3-qs/
Before I begin my schizo conspiracy theory I just want to make it clear, just because the majority of these conspiracies seem right leaning, it’s only because the majority of the entertainment industry lean left. This does not mean that either side is worse than the other, I’m sure they both do plenty of sketchy shit around election time. The only reason I’m bringing this up in the first place is because Misha Collins is very into politics and a huge supporter of the Democrat party. I could care less about politics if it’s not related to the entertainment industry. I try to make sure it’s somewhat connected to Drake, Kendrick, or the events leading up to or following their feud. Considering that before ’08, which is the year Obama was elected, there was very little mention of him on the internet and the fact that most of the articles I found were about his political views, I can’t help but feel he might be like the political version of an industry plant (some conspiracy folks refer to them as “crisis actors”).
I could easily see them hiring young aspiring actors and getting them started in the industry on the condition that they act as a mouthpiece for their political campaigns. Another possible example of this is Kal Penn, but he had a career before he went into politics so it’s a little different. I did find it interesting that Kal Penn came out not too long ago and apparently Misha Collins came out of the closet then took it back later and pissed off a lot of fans.
Aside from some bit roles in some obscure films and TV shows starting in ‘02, his biggest role was on the TV show Supernatural where he had a recurring role from 2008-2020. There was another post on his Instagram showing he had a direct connection to Michelle Obama who also was connected to the whole Jussie Smollett incident, which many would consider political interference and is still playing out in court to this day. I went into this topic more in another piece I wrote a few weeks ago as well.
The earliest source I could find on Wikipedia was in 2011, right before Obama won his second term. It seems he kind of popped up out of nowhere in ’08. The first thing I saw about him when I searched was a giant campaign he did with a bunch of comedians featuring random B through D list actors and actresses. They all did a video together in 2013 where they all took a big dump on Trump and supported Hillary in the presidential race. I couldn’t find the link again when searching, but I did include a similar example below. https://ew.com/article/2016/11/09/misha-collins-emotional-election-video/
Interestingly this was around the time the political propaganda ban was lifted making it legal again in the United States. This has been blamed for the rise of disinformation in the media and politics making their way into the entertainment industry. https://foreignpolicy.com/2013/07/14/u-s-repeals-propaganda-ban-spreads-government-made-news-to-americans/
After Supernatural ended in 2020, he pretty much went back to doing small parts until last year when he won the leading role on his own CW show. It’s one of the superhero shows with ties to the DC universe. In one interview he said that as a child his family struggled with housing stability, but he went to the University of Chicago and got a job a few years later working at the White House for a couple of months during Clinton’s presidency. He could have gotten a scholarship, but my buddy got his degree from there about ten years ago and it was NOT cheap. I also find it interesting that Obama is also from Chicago and so is Jussie Smollett.
One recent movie that’s a good example of government propoganda is the new movie Civil War and the one that came out on Netflix recently called When the World Ends, which is about an attack on the US power grid and another foreign country sowing the seeds to start a civil war in the US. It was also produced by the Obama’s who have also been accused of trying to censor Dave Chappelle while Obama was campaigning for the 2008 presidency.
Right around the time Misha got his first leading role in 2023, he was also heavily involved in the Russia/Ukraine war. Even though he’s Canadian, he went to Ukraine and made a bunch of videos supporting them. Considering the amount of anti-Russian rhetoric at the time, plus the fact it started around the same time as the propaganda ban being lifted, it seems kinda fishy to me. https://english.nv.ua/life/us-actor-misha-collins-arrives-in-kyiv-to-show-support- for-ukraine-50328295.html
Aside from that he’s also done a lot of philanthropy throughout his career and seems like a decent dude. Like I said there is a very good chance he has nothing to do with this whole situation. One theory I have is that when someone sues somebody famous for any reason and they want to cover it up, it would be a good idea to use a celebrity name or one that is one letter off so it will dominate Google search results. For example, I have the same name as a very well-known politician from the early 2000 and his name fills up the Google search results. If my theory of Misha working for the democratic party is true he might have been paid by Drake’s crisis management team to take the attention off their case.
I found his first post on TikTok to be a bizarre video where he talks about why he’s joining the site in the first place. The second comment asks if he’s being held hostage. Like I said I don’t know the guy, he might just be acting weird like a lot of celebs or he’s completely shitfaced. If my theory is correct though this could be some contributing evidence. https://www.tiktok.com/@mishacollins/video/7003144713696054534
This Reddit post also talks about his stance on the Israel Palestine situation. https://www.reddit.com/Supernatural/comments/17xfyu4/im_curious_what_are_your_thoughts_on_misha/
Aside from that, I couldn’t find anything else that stuck out to me on TikTok or any other social media sites for the Mesha Collins involved in the Drake stuff. This doesn’t mean there isn’t though I’m not on any social media so I’m not very good with that kind of stuff.
When I changed up the search settings to show only results from before or after the court case, the only articles that popped up were about a thirteen-year-old from Vancouver who went missing, but she was found not long after. I was able to find her on social media too and there was nothing that would connect to him in any way. Another article that popped up was about a woman from Houston nicknamed “Southpark Shawty.” She apparently also went by Mesha Collins and she apparently passed away in 2019 from undisclosed health issues. This is the only article I could find that says her name was Mesha Collins and it’s from 2024. https://inckredible.com/what-happened-to-southpark-shawty/
I also find it interesting she was a victim of a hit and run two years prior, not long after Mesha was arrested for allegedly breaking into Drake’s home. Interestingly in the article below it said her name was Shantel Nelson. The rest of the articles also had that name and when I looked it up the I did find a 53-year-old woman with the same name attached to a lot of different apartments and homes in Houston and a few spots in Louisiana. I thought the timing was odd considering a lot of stuff seems to be getting wiped from the internet and the fact it came out right around the time the feud started. I wonder if Drake is trying to distract people by sending them down the wrong path. https://www.fox26houston.com/news/internet-sensation-southpark-shawty-recovering-after-hit-and-run
I was wondering if she may have gone viral around the time of the original break in to distract from the case. This is also similar to my suspicions about the actor Misha Collins. I tried finding any connection between Shawty and J Prince since they both lived in Houston. I found that the South Park neighborhood in Houston is in the third ward while J Prince was born in the fifth ward. These two areas are some of the most crime-ridden areas in Houston.
Obviously the odds of her being connected to anything sketchy involving J Prince are pretty slim; however, I did find a video of Snoop Dogg visiting her in Houston back in 2016. In one of her posts she said they were cousins, but Snoop also says everyone is his cousin and it’s more just saying they’re family. It did seem like they were very close at one time though. I saw another article that said a lot of celebs reached out to her after she was the victim of a hit-and-run, but I couldn’t find ties to any other rappers. I thought it was interesting that she often sings in a lot of her videos and she has some pipes. It also seems like she may have been a rapper back in the day because she made a bunch of songs with a local producer over the past few years. I think it’s safe to assume she had some connection to the rap game or was a singer in the past. Considering Snoop and J. Prince have similar histories in the game, I imagine they must have some type of relationship. I go into this more in my actual post. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cfaGVreak4M
The big inconsistency here is the two women’s ages. The Mesha who sued Drake would have been young enough to be South Park Shawty’s daughter though. I couldn’t find any mention of her having a daughter, but I also couldn’t find much info on her in general. One thing I thought was sad was the fact that a lot of people made fun of her for being a crackhead. Although she appears to have a history of substance abuse, you never really know. Some people are just naturally high energy and have lots of quirks and big personalities without the need for drugs.
There are also a lot of long term alcoholics and addicts who despite being sober still show the same behaviors. In the case of alcoholics it’s called, “dry drunk syndrome.” This is also a big reason why I can write almost an entire book in a month without really trying. I saw one video where she said she’s been sober for a while and appears to only drink and smoke weed similar to myself. I’ve also met a few people similar to Shawty and they were all very sweet people and very intelligent, as are many recovering addicts. It doesn’t mean she should just be written off as crazy or unreliable. I’ve noticed that many famous black entertainers have been dismissed and called crackheads whenever they start speaking out against the industry or if they have a mental breakdown from all their bullshit.
While looking into the South Park neighborhood I found out that Travis Scott grew up in that area up until he was like eight or nine. I decided to look into more rappers from the area and found the bio of a rapper who went by South Park Mexican and was charged with abusing multiple minors s.ually, including a nine-year-old, and was sentenced to forty years in prison. I find it interesting that his label Dope House Records signed under UMG two years before he was convicted. Considering J. Prince’s history with UMG and a few people close to the case claiming it was an extortion attempt carried out by the husband of a woman he had an affair with, I wonder if J. Prince may have played a part in it. There is a 99 percent chance he’s guilty, but it could be another example of an organized takedown. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Park_Mexican
I also discovered another rapper who went by Gansta Nip who was one of the founders of the sub-genre horrorcore. He was on J Prince’s label and was also from the South Park neighborhood. He used to write for J Prince’s first group The Geto Boys way back in the day so he has connections in South Park.
Another thing that I found interesting was that Jaguar Wr*ght is from Dallas, which is known to be another hotspot for Texas rappers similar to Houston, but rarely gets much recognition. Along with Austin, they are the big three music cities in Texas, yet it seems like Dallas has always been slept on. I remember during her early interview Jaguar said she moved to Dallas to help foster and promote young aspiring musicians and help them get their footing in the industry without being taken advantage of. Sadly it seems she ended up doing that exact thing when she got a deal with Roku to make a TV show that she said would follow some of these talented up-and-coming artists. It appears that she was charging a subscription fee, but never actually posted any new content that wasn’t already available for free on YouTube or social media. Now pretty much every artist she promoted will have their names connected to a scam artist just by being involved with her. https://www.change.org/p/stop-ban-dalladelphia-oppose-jaguar-wright
I’ve also discussed in the past that she has been airing out some of Diddy and Jay- Z’s dirty laundry since 2022 and seemingly has protection. She also had some wild shit go down about a week after she accused Jay-Z of trying to keep her from boarding her plane in Dallas and was arrested at Chicago Airport. https://ktt2.com/jaguar-wright-arrested-after-allegedly-throwing-her-sons-ashes-32541373
Similar to Shawty, Jaguar is often accused of being a crackhead, but again it appears she may have had a history, but currently only smokes weed and drinks and most likely is struggling with mental illness. Sometimes the weight of these subjects is enough to drive someone crazy on its own, yet alone constantly being paranoid someone wants to take you out. To her credit, Jaguar was also known for being one of Jay Z’s background singers and did come up around the time Diddy founded Bad Boy and the Philly music scene was starting to get recognition. She often talks about how Jay Z has been going after her for revealing some of his past sketchiness along with many other artists from that era.
While I trust her about as far as I can throw her, she did drop a lot of facts about Diddy in the same interview and has been dropping a lot of shit the last couple of months. She also said she used to be married to Katt Williams, who was also accused of being a crackhead after apparently getting death threats for speaking out against the industry. If Dave Chappelle had to go to Africa when he did almost the same thing, I think he probably had every right to be paranoid as fuck. I’m sure some of Jaguar’s info is coming from him and he may even be directly responsible for her blowing up on YouTube right after he did his famous interview in January. I’ve been saying for a while now I think she has motivations way beyond revenge or advocacy, but she still shouldn’t be written off completely.
I wonder if J. Prince has anything to do with this and the Bryshere Gray stuff, which was the main subject of one of my posts here about coordinated takedowns. Considering he has similar motivations and the mob ties to protect Jaguar, it could be why she constantly doxxes herself and doesn’t seem to be too worried despite revealing shit that could easily get her green-lit. It would also explain a lot of my theories on the rise of all these influencers dropping insider knowledge of the industry and the criminal underworld that resides beneath it.
I also wanted to include some links to some other attempted invasions of Drake’s embassy. Along with Misha’s multiple attempts and the three attempts right after the beef, there have been a decent number throughout the years. https://pagesix.com/2021/03/30/woman-armed-with-knife-tries-to-get-into- drakes-property/
This guy claimed Drake was his dad and talks about him selling his place in West Hollywood with a lot of details about him selling his “Yolo Estate” in LA. Weirdly it was published by Breitbart which is a far-right news organization. https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2022/07/19/intruder-claiming-to-be-drake-son-arrested-at-rappers-los-angeles-home/
I guess this is one more person who made it through the front door. I wonder if Ye knows who it was? https://ktla.com/news/local-news/drakes-los-angeles-home-reportedly-burglarized-suspect-arrested/
This one was right after Mesha broke in and has more details about her as well. https://www.vibe.com/music/music-news/drake-intruder-hidden-hills-break-in-526090/#!
The rest of the evidence below is just extra bullshit, it’s not super relevant, but it may have some connection to all of this. It’s mostly about human trafficking in Houston. One area in Houston is considered a red-light district. An old friend grew up in the area and used to sell lean heavy so he had a lot of connections to the Houston underworld. From what he told me, shit goes pretty deep like most border states where all forms of trafficking are extremely prevalent. https://www.click2houston.com/news/investigates/2021/09/16/hpd-using-new- law-to-crack-down-on-those-paying-for-sex/
Below are a few more examples of Houston rappers charged with trafficking minors. If anyone has time I didn’t look into any potential connections with J Prince. Houston is massive and there is a huge rap scene so there is a good chance they may not have any connections beyond the city they live in, but you never know, there could be some supporting evidence to my theories. https://www.foxnews.com/us/texas-aspiring-rapper-sentenced-prison-child- sex-trafficking-reports
https://www.fox26houston.com/news/houston-rapper-big-face-tulu-accused-of- trafficking-and-assault-forcing-teens-to-work-for-food-and-shelter
https://www.khou.com/article/news/houston-rapper-jaimian-sims-found-guilty- of-sex-trafficking-of-a-mino285-9eebceb0-fce4-4244-84da-4fb2432c5479
https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices/houston/news/press-releases/ houston-rapper-heads-to-prison-for-sex-trafficking-of-a-minor
Lastly, I can’t forget the infamous Houston rapper Viper, who was also possibly signed to SPM’s Dope House Records. He was also from the fifth ward in Houston, the same as J. Prince. https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/crime/ article/lee-carter-houston-rapper-second-kidnapping- charge-18695638.php
That’s all I have on the case. I know it’s not super relevant, but it’s only a small section that I thought was a good example of how using OSINT techniques could help with finding connections. Also, it’s good to know how these things could be used against you if you’re not careful about managing your online footprint. If you’re just on this sub sharing links or information that is publicly available and couldn’t potentially be used as evidence in a R.I.C.O case, you shouldn’t worry too much. I’m probably gonna have to run the section I wrote about Drake and J. Prince’s mob ties by the mods before posting for this very reason.
To carry out many of these more advanced exploits you’d need teams of people working 24/7 and massive amounts of money to dedicate to each person who you want to keep track of. If they did have incriminating evidence and they planned to share more, they would probably have to kill the person or convince them in some way to stop posting. This usually involves cyber threats at first, and if you continue to post actual evidence they’ll probably get lawyers involved. If they do hire someone to make the threats in person I doubt it would escalate to anything physical or potentially life-threatening.
If they go as far as investing money in hiring a trustworthy goon who isn’t gonna flip on one of the richest and honestly douchiest celebrities in our current era, they most likely wouldn’t take such a major risk unless their freedom is genuinely on the line and your evidence was specifically related to their current case. Even if they do, because of how risky it is they’ll most likely just threaten you and they might get physical depending on the person who hired them’s feelings towards violence. I have another theory that all the dirt about Kendrick is true and Drake has been blackmailing him, possibly for the last 7 years. It seems like all of this insanity in the rap game has been brewing since at least 2016. This is the year all my favorite up-and-coming artists died one after another and the trend continued up until 2021. It’s also around the time Drake started getting in feuds with multiple rappers and was accused of threatening Ye with some type of blackmail. After years of being disappointed, I finally stepped away from discovering new artists in 2021 and started listening to more indie rock not too long ago.
I’m still kinda scared they are going to kill Gucci next, or Kodak, or my favorite newish rapper Lil Darkie. If any of them die suddenly it’s more likely than not someone in the industry wanted them dead because they all have spoken out and revealed shit about the industry. Hopefully, these types of things become less frequent if the alleged R.I.C.O case is legit and there is a movement behind the scenes of rappers trying to do away with the current status quo. It’s honestly sad how a couple of shitty rappers have hogged the spotlight for years, meanwhile, thousands of more talented artists are being slept on or flat-out ignored.
I hope that one thing that comes out of this whole ordeal is that these artists are given a chance to share their talents with the rest of the world without having to worry about possibly being killed if they don’t sign with the right label. If you made it this far you were able to find some of this information valuable. As I said this was just a long tangent I went off on while I was working on my original post. I’ll try to get the rest up soon.
One last thing I’ve noticed lately, it’s probably not related, but recently they changed the date filter feature on DuckDuckGo, forcing you to manually click back every month to get to the desired date. This makes it a pain in the ass to go back further than a couple years and when you try to click it really fast the arrow button moves around so you keep having to move your cursor or tap in a different spot. It’s strange because up until a week ago you were just able to type whatever date you wanted and it was so much easier to find articles from back in the day. This update is such a downgrade from the original it feels oddly intentional. I wonder if it has anything to do with the research currently being conducted along with removing articles that might be used as evidence. Has anyone noticed this as well?
Signing off for now,
The Randomest Moniker

—unsent letter that is unsent for a reason because I’m mad—
You left a few harsh letters for me.
It was to wake me up.
Here’s one for you: you don’t know me.
You will never know me unless you ask.
I enjoy life lightly because I came out the other side of trauma. I know my demons, and they work for me now, versus the other way around.
I’m sorry for your suffering, it is why our souls speak to one another. I feel it. It enrages me and I want my to join a bunch of policy organizations, light them on fire, and scream at ignorant bureaucrats it penguin suits that they have no fucking clue what they did to the soul of the most beautiful man I have ever known.
That’s how much it upsets me. I want to upend my life to seek your justice.
But the person who experienced that same suffering as a child is not the person I am today. She was a different person at 20, and she’ll be a different person at 40.
That was part of the entire point I was making. You ASSUMED I wanted some picket fence life. You ASSUMED I wanted children. You ASSUMED I wanted to get married again at all.
And you assumed I’d be ok with a name without talking to me first. It’s sweet. But it also doesn’t suit me. I’m not purity innocence and hope. That’s just one piece of me.
I am a force in heart shaped sunglasses, I am womanhood, I am nature itself. I feelings AND facts. I am a part of a whole, and an individual . I know myself better than anyone. I deserve to choose my own name.
You created a version on me based on 20 years ago and some social media posts with no understanding.
How dare you try to suggest a nonbinary person’s name without asking if they had chosen one yet.
My name is more than just what I am in relation to YOU. It is mine - it’s ME, I choose it.
And you can’t get to know me until I get to see you in action. Because ACTIONS count.
So watching you blame and get petulant every day for a situation you co-created consciously (while I did do unconsciously) while you wring your hands about responding is pissing me off. Here are my unvarnished thoughts : I’m mad at you because you’re still not communicating while complaining I am not doing the same. Projection.
And don’t beat yourself up because this letter is unsent because this conversation never happened.
Tell me you have feelings for me and want to explore them. Tell me you’re busy and you’re sorry. Tell me you’re bi and only want to date men as long term partners. Tell me you want to be my asexual life partner. Tell me you want to fuck me and get it out of your system. Tell me I’m making you uncomfortable and you’re married and we can pretend this never happened for a few days while knowing full well it did and regretting and ruminating about it for the rest of your life.
Or just take me up on coffee.
Just don’t fucking ghost again. It makes me not engage with you because I’m fully aware of your manipulative tendencies.
Instead of observing me, or wondering about me. Ask.
I want to know your recipes. What seasonings you use. What temperature you roast your favorite vegetable, and why it’s your favorite.
And then not being truthful to the audience testing me when I’m sure I’m not the first woman whose men in her life want to shield her and don’t see her strength or listen to her wants or needs. You’re hurting women by doing that. Giving them more excuses to baby trap us.
I married a man like that. I’m about to divorce him.
Thoughts and feelings, while facinating, do as much for me as thoughts and prayers did for America.
You’re still stuck in your patterns.
You made assumptions about me and my motivations with bothering to ask. Don’t do it again. Get to know me.
A ring on my middle finger means I am engaged to myself. The ring on my thumb is to symbolize my children, which is ALL OF HUMANITY represented by every song I write.
Think about that. I chose you as someone I wanted to build a life with once. I waited for 10 years for us to start building that life.
In the meantime, I had to start alone.
There is always another side of this infinite prisim. How closely have you really looked?
I feel like me being on Reddit is not leading to anything good.
My next long term relationship will absolutely be with someone who communicates, and communication is a two-way street.
You want to suffer, I think. You like it. It’s comfortable. It’s safe.

Hi Guys,
I will be going back to Graduate School this fall. I still have roughly 25k~ student loans on the books, and will need to take an additional 125k in total to make my way through school. 2 questions:
1) Since I will be needing to leave my job and therefore not have any income during grad school, can I hop on SAVE and pay zero interest on my undergrad loans? I am concerned because my gross income was pretty high last year (around 116k) so if they used my previous years tax return I doubt I would get any benefit from save. If there any other way to verify your income? Ill have no income at the time of wanting to sign up for SAVE as I will be unemployed.
2) I plan on funding a lot of non tuition expenses for living out of pocket. Ideally would want to not take out any loans my first year.... but things are looking tight. When you sign up for graduate loans and are accepted, do you have a choice of when they are disbursed? i.e can I apply for loans and be approved, yet not take them out until may so interest doesnt accrue?
Sorry if these are stupid questions and glad to clarify if not clear. Thanks.

okay so this might be long because i want to provide as much detail as possible so you can get the full picture. i (23NB) have lived in this NYC apartment for 4 years, and lived with one of my roommates (24F) (will be referred to as “A”) for the entirety of the time i’ve been in the city, which is 6 years. we were assigned roommates in college and just kept living together because at the time we were good friends and it worked! we had rotating 3rd roommates throughout the years and dealt with a lot of crazy shit together, including a violent roommate, but that’s a story for a different day. so this roommate and i had been having some issues for the past couple of years because she got addicted to ketamine. i felt responsible for her because it started out as us using recreationally together but she spiraled out of control with it and honestly the entire situation was just a lot on me. throughout her addiction she was doing, at one point, 16 grams in 3 days, so i was really worried that she would die, not to mention she doesn’t really test her drugs and was getting it from a neighborhood that’s notorious for fentanyl. it honestly became my full time job to take care of her, but at the end of the day I was just trying to be a good friend. after some therapy/self work, i now realize how enabling the role I was playing actually was, but it was just the position that I was put in and I had also never dealt with something like this before. I feel like for further context, i should add that A’s parents pay her rent and for a lot of things for her. she had a part time job at the time and was also in school but left due to her addiction. the situation that i am in is very different, my family does not support me financially and i pay for everything for myself and have made my way pretty much on my own. i’m pretty established in my neighborhood because I am a tattoo artist at a local shop and also have worked for 3 other businesses within the same few blocks. i also consistently have multiple jobs at once, now i have 3, and for a long time I was working 6 days a week. not really relevant to the situation but needless to say, i already have a LOT on my plate. anyways, so yeah. for about almost 2 years, i was dealing with my roommates addiction. i watched her overdose and throw up on herself 5-7 times, she projectile vomited all over the house, i have dragged her out of a pool of her own vomit, she would consistently lie to me about whether she was high or had bought ketamine, and our other friends and i would go through her room to make sure she wasn’t hiding it countless times, (to no avail obviously, she would always lie and say she didn’t have any more when she did, hidden in hard to find places.) it affected everyone in our friend group and in her life. but especially me because i was really the only person who was physically present for it all. i tried talking to her about it at first, and was very understanding and patient with her and genuinely was doing my best to help because she was my friend, we were really close, and I didn’t want to see her die or ruin her life. she also expected me to say something to her and would tell me that i should say something if i thought she was high. she would say this when she was sober and it started off an an “accountability partner” thing, but eventually became very codependent and unhealthy. even when i would ask her, she would lie. i made it very clear from the beginning that all of this was damaging our relationship, but i was still doing my best to be her friend and be there for her. at one point, i even took the drugs out of her room and hid them in mine to take to another friends house the next day to dispose of them, and she went into my room and found them. it reached a point where I made her call her parents and tell them what had been going on. calling her parents had honestly been in discussion for a while, and the sober version of her agreed that it needed to happen. she got a slap on the wrist and sent to the mental hospital for a few days, she even convinced them to let her out early! her parents also weren’t really involved in her care at all after because she has never been disciplined in her life, her parents think she can do no wrong. she relapsed soon after she got out and at this point, I started taking a lot more space for myself because I was mentally and emotionally drained and it was clear that all my efforts were in vain. this was after dealing with it for about a year. honestly, i should have definitely started planning on moving out around this point. the reasons I didn’t were the fact that i still considered A to be one of my best friends despite what we had gone through, all of my jobs are like a 5-10 minute walk away, and I also loved my room. i put a lot of time and effort into decorating it and I had also lived there for a long time and for a really great price, $850 for a huge room with a dishwasher, laundry in building, AND a rooftop i can smoke on outside my window with a view of a GREEN backyard with PLANTS. not some concrete bs. that’s UNHEARD OF in nyc. im also not really great with change, even if it’s for the best, and to be honest i was also naive and thought things would eventually go back to normal. this was a person that i previously trusted a lot, i didn’t think she would normally do these things to me. anyways, eventually she got sober and then my, at the time, best friend of 7 years from home, a state across the country, moved in. (22 F, let’s call her “B”) we met in high school and I was in the class above her. we only went to school together for a year before I graduated and moved to NYC, so for the past few years, our friendship had been over facetime/seeing eachother occasionally when I would come visit. B’s background is similar to mine, the state we’re from is very impoverished and we both left the religion we were raised as. another huge reason she moved here was so that she could start medically transitioning and get on estrogen. i was really excited for her and also wanted to support her in her transition, im also non binary and we come from a really transphobic state, so growing up queer in the south was like a huge part of our friendship, and when she moved in, she didn’t have a lot of gender affirming clothes, and i had a ton of clothes, so i gave her a bunch of mine, i sent her resources, lent her books/zines, point is i really was trying to support her, and before she moved in and even throughout us living together we would talk for hours about this stuff. also, normally, i would not feel the need to even mention the fact that someone is trans, but all of this is relevant to the story. i will also add that I know now to never live with friends! at the time, i thought it would be okay because I trusted her and we seemed to have good communication on roommate matters and i think we both had good intentions going into it. we would say things like “i don’t plan on moving out on bad terms” “we can communicate and respect eachothers boundaries!” etc. i also knew that she really wanted to move here because she had talked about it for years and she came and visited before she moved in. so yeah, things were great at first, but not for long. so I am someone who, like I said, am at work most of the time and when i come home from work I just want to relax and smoke weed and chill and if you know me in real life, you know that i’m not a very beefy person and it takes a lot to really make me upset, i’m generally chill about most things, honestly to my detriment. so the first signs of things starting to go south were when B started to say that I was ignoring her. this was confusing to me, as we hung out most days after I got off work, and she even had a job herself at the time, (she’s been fired twice in the past year and was unemployed on and off) so she wasn’t like completely trapped in the house all the time. I would try to inquire further and understand why she thought I was ignoring her, and reassure her that I’m listening. she started telling me that she needs a lot of reassurance, and i told her that I am happy to reassure her whenever needed! we talked it through and i genuinely started to put in a lot of effort into making sure i was being fully present during our time together and also making sure I was hanging out with her enough. this evolved into us having very extensive conversations for hours where she would bring up the fact that she still felt like i was ignoring her, and i would reassure that I was not purposefully ignoring her, im listening and really trying. and almost daily she would bring up a problem that she had with something that I said or did. she even at one point started tweeting about me, saying things like “do u even consider others?”. she also asked me to be on constant emotional monitoring for her, which i told her that i will not do that. i don’t really pick up on subtle social cues or “shade” and also it’s not my job to do that. if something upsets you, you can communicate with me about it instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to be able to read your mind. plus, real friends don’t have to be responsible for every single emotion! at one point, she told me that she was mad at me because living together wasn’t living up the the idealized version of what she thought it would be. she would also guilt trip me like a LOT. she would be like “as a friend, you should be doing ____ for me” and her requests got more and more ridiculous as time went on, one of them being to basically force myself to start listening to a genre of music that i simply just don’t like or want to listen to during my own time, insinuating that i would be a bad friend if i didn’t like the same music as her. and to that, i tried to explain to her that we don’t have to like the same music in order to be friends and that i don’t care if she listens to music that i don’t particularly listen to on my own, although i am happy to listen to her recommendations, i am picky about the music I listen to. basically i felt like she was trying to find any stupid reason to say i was a bad friend. it started to really annoy me, because i already had a lot on my plate, and honestly i just didn’t have the bandwidth to be fully present all the time, especially after dealing with my other roommates addiction for so long. i needed space and time for myself really badly, and I felt like I was trying really hard to please her to no avail. all of this was incredibly exhausting to deal with. i tried to communicate this to B, but it never got through. during these very tedious conversations, B would say things that were extremely concerning, such as “You need to stop triggering me!!!” to which i responded, “okay let’s make a deal, i will be more mindful of your triggers if you work on managing them.” she would also constantly make accusations at me. for example, she accused me of laughing AT HER when i was not, and I was laughing at something completely unrelated. there were many other times that she accused me of doing and saying things that I never said or did. she would twist my words a lot, things i told her in confidence, and use them against me, adding an entire new meaning to what i was saying. and if i disagreed with her or got even a little defensive she would be like “You just pissed me off!!!!” i honestly felt like she was just picking on me and criticizing me at a lot of points, because I could literally breathe wrong and it would be an issue. i now realize that she actually just needs to create drama, but i didnt want to admit that at the time. again, during this time I was trying to be very calm during our conversations when trying to reassure her and explain myself, but internally I was very stressed out by all of this. at some point during all this, A relapsed. this was a disaster, B knew about the relapse and was lying to me about it. i was especially upset because the way A relapsed was she asked me to unlock the parental password on her phone so she could “update apps”, but instead she downloaded the app she uses to text her plug, so essentially she tricked me into enabling her relapse. i messaged her parents immediately and told them. at this point, i felt like it was expected of me to do that. of course, they basically did nothing for a while, it got really bad. A was basically not functioning at all. she would tell me that she didn’t care how she made me feel. our other friend came over and went through her room and babysat her to make sure she wouldn’t do ketamine but she pretended to go to sleep while he was literally crying next to her and she got up and did it right after he left. a lot of horrible things were said, i would express the fact that i hate that i can’t trust her, and she would scream back “i don’t want you to trust me!”, amongst many other awful things. we would hear loud snorting like every few minutes every single day, which was extremely stressful. she broke the stove because she was high, it was affecting the way she looked and her physical health, and at this point it was a safety concern for her and for B and I, because we did not want to be responsible if something happened to her and this was affecting us tremendously. eventually, B and I called her parents and told them a lot of details and begged them to send her to rehab, I had to send them a long text message being like super blunt about the fact that she needs to get professional help or she will die, and they were basically saying that ultimately it’s up to her, which was bullshit in my opinion, but she did end up going. during the time A was in rehab, things with B got progressively worse. a lot of weird and horrible things started happening, she berated me for like over an hour about one of my closest friendships, that she met once and got “bad vibes from”, i told her that I didn’t want to be put in a position where i have to defend my other friendships to her, especially ones that have nothing to do with her, and that this person is an extremely good friend to me, and that she didn’t have to be around her if she didn’t want to. i was asking her to stop but she wouldn’t! she was pulling bullshit reasons why i shouldn’t hang out with this person anymore out of her ass. for context, B drinks a lot, and she drank the night we all hung out while my other friend and i didn’t really drink. she was like “i actually HAD to drink that night because your friend was making me so uncomfortable!” which, that night was extremely normal and chill, nothing bad happened at all, also don’t blame me or anyone else for your own habits! she would pick fights almost daily. on halloween, we got drunk together with one of the people she was seeing at the time, and she ended up berating me in front of this person for ignoring her, not respecting her, etc and the person had to step in and tell her that she’s making pointed comments at me and not hearing me out, and that she was being horrible to me. (this is not the only time someone hung out with us together and then told her that she was being an asshole to me.) that night, she said a lot of hurtful things, such as “at least i don’t have a bunch of fake friendships!” (as if my friendship with her was the only “real friendship” i could have) and “you don’t have the lesbian experience you claim to have!!!!” (what does that even mean??? i’ve been lesbian since before we met lol) and she also falsely accused me of saying that being a lesbian is worse than being a trans woman, which i never said! i have never even thought that and that is not how i feel at all! at first i tried to explain everything using logic, but eventually i basically told her to stop projecting her insecurities onto me and to stop dragging me into her shit. she slammed the door in my face when we got home. we didn’t talk for like a month. during this month, i really needed some outside support, so i reached out to some trusted people to tell them what was going on and get some advice on what i should do/ how to handle the situation, and to get an outside perspective. honestly, that night was the straw that broke the camels back and sent me into a full mental breakdown from the stress of everything that had been going on in the house. i was like scream crying every single day for the entire month, unable to function at work, not thinking clearly at all. everyone in my life was telling me i should just move out asap. i think i was just extremely upset because I then realized that my relationships with both of them were not healthy, but i really cared about these people. i was extremely disappointed in how things were going, and i was also extremely worried about both of their wellbeings, i didn’t want anything to happen to them or to not have them in my life. and i was also upset that they had been being absolutely horrible to me and i was honestly just sick of being treated like shit by my roommates at this point. honestly i was an asshole when i would talk about it sometimes, but how was i supposed to be kind when everyone was being so cruel to me for no reason? i was honestly really mad, especially because B knew the stress of taking care of A, like why are you adding to the intense stress i already had just experienced?? during this time, i realized that all of this was happening because of B’s untreated BPD. to clarify, i do not care about people having bpd or other mental health disorders as long as you are not hurting other people, which, B was hurting me a lot and honestly our relationship was pretty destructive to my mental health. i also realized that these friendships were wildly codependent and unhealthy, and I needed to set boundaries. i can only take so much abuse!!! and i felt like a scapegoat for both of them and a crutch in the situation. although i still cared for these people, i knew that this was not sustainable long term. i could not handle the weight of A’s life on my back or the way I was being treated by either of them, or the fact that my home was not actually safe. at first, i was going to move out and take a break from the friendships, with the intention of hopefully rekindling when we were all in healthier places, but also the need to move out felt super urgent. the stress from this entire situation had leaked into every area of my life. i was doing poorly at work, every person in my life was telling me how i needed to get out asap because this shit was bad for my health and they had watched my mental health deteriorate because of it but i really didn’t want to move, i had lived there and known these people for so long. after chatting with other people who have bpd who are in therapy and live an emotionally healthy life, they told me that what really helps people with bpd is if you are honest with them and encourage them to seek treatment, as well as setting clear boundaries around their behavior. i was the closest person to her at the time, so i wanted to be honest with her and try to help, i wrote both of my roommates long text messages explaining how i felt and what my boundaries were moving forward. they did not take this well! they started justifying their behavior to eachother, and made me out to be the villain in the story. A told B that i told other people she had bpd, which i did do! but i did that because i needed support and advice, and I also couldn’t handle the horrible treatment i was receiving, the weight of all of this was extremely heavy. not because i was trying to “turn people against her”, as they were trying to make it seem like. this is a real life adult issue, not some petty sides picking bullshit, and i genuinely needed support because everything that was happening was making me feel insane and extremely stressed out. I even previously asked A not to say anything to B to make the situation worse and that at this point I just wanted to have conversations surrounding solution. B was upset that I told people what was going on and accused me of being manipulative. i honestly understand why she would be upset about that, it’s a very stigmatized disorder and it wasn’t really my place to share that information. i also told these people those things in confidence, i didn’t expect them to tell her i said anything to try to make the situation worse. and i also only told people that i trusted and honestly i just wanted help and support and an outside perspective and to express my feelings. after i sent the long text messages to my roommates, (i let B read hers in person so we could have open dialogue and A hers while she was in rehab so she could talk about it in therapy) (also i know that long text messages are not the best way to communicate and work through issues, im going to avoid doing that in the future) B’s response was basically something like, yeah i have bpd and yes I was projecting my shit onto you and lashing out at you, but I used to do way worse things to people. but thank you for typing this out and i’m gonna start going to therapy and working on it. she also said something like “well. friendships are through the good, the bad, and the ugly. sorry that you saw my ugly side!” like. okay. a real apology would be nice lol. in the days after this, i ended up having a huge mental crisis from all of the overwhelming stress and could not function properly, i had to go to the hospital. once i got back from the hospital, all I wanted to do was work on myself. i started creating distance from them and going back to therapy and al anon, and really started trying to pull my own shit together. i apologized for telling other people and said that I wouldn’t tell anyone again, and i didn’t. A’s sibling and i suggested that we go to family therapy so that we could have healthier relationships, A’s parents even offered to pay for it, but it never actually happened. things were kind of okay for the next few months. i wasn’t as close to either of them, but i was okay with that because I needed space and to be able to focus on myself. i talked about it a lot with a therapist, and i was essentially trying to maintain the friendships in a non codependent way. i honestly just kept to myself for a while and started taking a lot more alone time. forgot to mention, another reason they were mad at me was because I was going to move out on short notice (before i went to the hospital), but I also was going to find someone to fill the room to make the process less stressful for them, and i was vetting people to make sure they would be a good fit, and i wanted A and B to meet and approve of the person. i needed to get out of there as fast as possible, but i wanted to put effort into finding someone compatible with them. i already had a place to go lined up, but it fell through (the stress of trying to move also contributed to me going to the hospital and the situation i was going to go into seemed great at first but turned out to be a complete mess), and i also felt really guilty and horrible, so i ended up staying and trying to repair and maintain the relationships while also taking adequate alone time and upholding my boundaries. anyways, a few months pass, all i have been doing at this point is working on myself and going to work and coming home and chilling, there hasn’t really been much conflict besides the normal A being a passive aggressive asshole (which she always has been. looking back, i don’t even know how i was friends with someone like this) and B would still say disturbing things every once in a while, such as comparing me to past friendships that didn’t work out, and at one point she even flipped the narrative subtly to make it seem like i “had an outburst for no reason”. (when she is actually the person who had the outbursts towards me), and generally just blame shifting a lot in subtle ways, saying I was the one who “changed the dynamics of the house”, even though all I did was set boundaries and take time for myself, plus, the previous dynamic obviously was not working. but honestly i was just kind of ignoring it. at this point the dynamic has been A and B spending most of their time together, (they also have a codependent friendship) and me mostly keeping to myself, but hanging out occasionally and being cordial in the apartment. I was okay with that because I really just wanted alone time anyways, and I made it clear to them that I need time to work on myself, which i was doing a lot of, and B started therapy so I thought we were all just kind of working on ourselves at this point and trying to move forward. so one day, A and B go back to A’s home state together for a week, i was honestly a bit upset by this because we originally planned to all go together, we have all always gone together in the past, and honestly i thought things were chill now that everyone was in therapy, plus we had hung out on purpose occasionally. nope! once they got back, they told me I had to move out! i was extremely upset by this. honestly i was at my wits end with their bullshit, especially since A had continued to be an asshole to me even when i was still being kind and normal to her. honestly i am glad I had to move out, my life is going to get a lot better now that I don’t have them in it, but I was still just like. pissed because honestly my only objective this entire time has been to exist in my house and also I just felt like it was unfair especially considering the fact that they were the ones who were causing the issues, although I do recognize my part in them. i was codependent AF and trying to fix my friends, enabling horrible things to happen in my life to the point of going actually insane, i had extremely poor boundaries in the name of trying to be a good friend, and i should have left a long long time ago. but anyways, when they told me I had to move out, i basically said that I agreed and that I didn’t want to live with them anymore, i slammed my door and blocked them both on instagram, i also removed all of my personal belongings from the common areas. thankfully, my real friends were all there for me during this time and letting me crash on their couches. i didn’t really want to be in the apartment. within the next few days, i started getting harassed over text by their friends and unfollowed by people who were associated with them. they started going on a smear campaign against me! their friends started harassing me over text, saying “you need the mental hospital. stop pissing in glasses and stop speaking on trans people. seek the maximum amount of help possible” so basically, at this point, they’re basically telling people things that are blatantly untrue. i have never pissed in a glass before, in fact, i know B has pissed in cups in her room for her whole life (probably where she got the idea from) besides, pissing in cups isn’t a crime! also, at this point, i thought we had already talked out and worked through the me telling people about B’s BPD. so i messaged them and I was like. “can you guys please stop slandering me. this has been a traumatizing situation for all of us. honestly i would prefer for this to be as smooth as possible. i have not pissed in a glass and i have no idea what i even said about trans people that was offensive or hurtful” and they responded by saying “we have proof you were misgendering me and the shit we found out was before A’s relapse and before we had a fight”. so basically, while they were on vacation, they went LOOKING for things to use against me. A’s relapse was 8 months ago at this point, why are you digging stuff up from back then to use against me now?? i also have no idea when i misgendered her, and it was obviously a complete accident. i went through every message i sent in the past year that had anything to do with her and couldn’t find any misgendering. at this point, i did not inquire further because I was sick of having to defend myself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding me and also manipulating the situation to make me seem like a bad person. honestly, i don’t care much about the smear campaign, because most of those people i didn’t really like anyway, and the ones i did who believed them, i know now that they’re not my real friends. (even though it’s the same people saying that the way I was treated by A through her addiction was incredibly unfair to me, and asking why she is doing this to me. how dare I be actually affected?!) although the saying i’m transphobic thing is really frustrating, especially considering the fact that i literally invited you to come here SO THAT YOU COULD TRANSITION and the fact that I am also non binary. but also, how are you going to come into my home after I invited you to move in with me out of the kindness of my heart, start yelling at me and attacking me constantly and disrespecting my boundaries, kick me out of MY OWN HOUSE, and then smear my name, saying things that are blatantly untrue, to people i knew for years BEFORE YOU MOVED IN, who I INTRODUCED YOU TO ???? anyways, B went into my room while i was at work and took all of her artwork off my walls, which i don’t care about the artwork, but her going into my room made me really uncomfortable, so I installed a lock on my door until I could move out. B also ripped my mentor at the tattoo shop’s artwork off of the walls, stole it, and when i demanded it be returned it was returned to me vandalized. (she knows that my mentor wants the best for me and supports me in many areas of my life). so at this point, i’m being harassed and my items are being stolen. i had to get out of there asap, at this point it was a safety concern, it has honestly been a safety concern this entire time. so I ended up finding a place that’s the same amazing price and great quality in the area that’s still close to my jobs with people who are actually healthy and normal!!! and i moved out a month before I was supposed to because my mom and the rest of my support system agreed that it was not safe for me to stay another month, i didn’t tell them that I was moving early because I knew they would damage my things. It took me 2 days to move, and the night in between me moving, they stole my bike and put it out on the street. and A admitted that she did it out of spite because I moved early. so I stole some things back to get even and I also did not repaint or repair the room like I was supposed to, (i was going to originally before my bike was stolen) but I left her my deposit to cover the repainting etc. i also unfortunately dumped old protein shake on the floor out of pettiness and hatefulness. i am not normally like that but I was FUMING. that was definitely that angriest i have ever been in my life. i ended up paying the rent for the month I wasn’t there. But A still decided to message me on facebook, where I forgot to block her and send me an invoice with a bunch of “damages” to the apartment, demanding that I send her $1700 to get the entire floor replaced, new doors, etc. her numbers were ridiculous, it was a bunch of bullshit and I told her that i wasn’t paying it, to never contact me again, and blocked her. her parents pay her rent, it’s not about the money for her it’s about being a vindictive and entitled bully. plus, i really don’t owe her shit at this point. anyways, i have learned a lot of lessons from all this and am working on acknowledging my part in all of these issues and am going to start going to codependents anonymous to start rebuilding my life. obviously i have a lot to learn and work on within myself, and i was not perfect throughout this, even though my only intentions were to be there for my friends and exist in my own house. honestly i never want to see either of these people again! i hate them both so deeply for making my safe space unsafe, and for everything else they’ve done to me, including making my PTSD incredibly worse. and from now on I am going to leave friendships WHEN ITS TIME instead of dragging it out, and hopefully now I can choose better friends and have stronger boundaries, and in the future when tough situations arise i will be more equipped to respond in better ways. hopefully i never have to go through anything like this again!!

Credova is a Buy Now Pay Later provided. Is Credova a legit service or a scam though? Let’s explore Credova below.
Credova Buy Now Pay Later
Credova is a Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) provider that allows customers to finance purchases at participating retailers whether this is online or in-store. Credova has received notoriety in the BNPL and gun rights, and gun control groups, for being willing to offer financing on firearm purchases. Currently no other BNPL offers financing for guns and firearms. At least that we here at DimeScout are aware of.
Credova is technically a legitimate financial service that operates within current regulations. However BNPL regulations are currently fairly lax and there have been numerous complaints about Credova. This includes from the Better Business Bureau, Gun Forums, Reddit, TrustPliot and social media. TrustPilot Reviews
Let’s look at just some of what people are saying about Credova on TrustPilot, a popular platform for reviewing companies and services.
Not sure I’d use them again, damn near an 800 credit score and they want to charge me almost double what I’m paying for the item I purchased… good thing for the 30 day buyout… So yea if you want to purchase something and pay double the asking price by using their services I’d opt out…. And getting them to answer a phone is almost impossible and call backs have taken a day both times joke… Afterpay is the way to go no interest no fees and it gets paid off in 4 easy payments.
There are about 134 1-star reviews on TrustPilot currently like the one above. You can read the reviews here.
Based on the reviews on Trustpilot, most of the complaints from customers who have used Credova BNPL services are for guns. Credova is used on a lot of major gun and firearm retailers.
Some of the most common complaints from what I have seen include:

High interest rates: Many Credova customers have reported that they were not aware of the high interest rates associated with their loans until after they had already signed up for financing through Credova. The sign-up process seems to be somewhat confusing on purpose. The high interest rates can be double or more than what the Credova customers originally expected to pay in the first place. Unexpected fees: Some customers have reported Creodva will tack on unexpected fees to the BNPL loans they provide. From what I can see this includes processing fees or late fees. These fees were not disclosed to them upfront. Inadequate customer service: Many on TrustPilot have reported difficulties in dealing with Credova’s customer service team to resolve issues. Most of the time it seems they are nice but unwilling to fix any actual problems with using Credova. 

It is important to note, however, that not all the Credova reviews are negative on TrustPilot. Is Credova Legit? Or Just a Scam?
Credova is technically a legit company but does seem to have a some unscrupulous business practices from what we can see.
Most of the reviews we have seen on here and complaints on various gun forums and Reddit, seems to have the same result. Credova does seem to be a rather difficult BNPL provider to work with.
As with any financial service, it is important to read and understand the terms and conditions of any loan or financing agreement before you sign-up or agree to it. BNPL services are popular now but can come with pitfalls just like using credit cards.
Source - https://walletwell.com/is-credova-legit/

So i have this conflict inside me. I think that if i follow my feeling, i will be a bad person. Is it bad to fall in love with someone else if i am already in a relationship ?
Let me explain myself....
I am in a relationship with "X" since 3 years now. And i have this friend (lets call him Y). I met "Y" about 7 years ago. but, we have been friends for 5 years. and over the last 3 years, we have gotten really close. I got to know him from different angles. he lost a friend dear to him, but it allowed him to grow and finally become himself. we have an excellent bond. the majority of people who pass us believe that we are a couple. Everybody say that we have a really really really good friendship.
especially since "X" doesn't really come to do any activity with me. he plays a lot of video games. So all the activity i want to do, i do them with "Y". Because "X" want to stay at home. And i was ok whit it at first.
But now, i dont know anymore. When i start my relationship with "X" i was in a healing era. He help me a lot. He let me rest. He was a safe person. He is very calm and predectible. And its ok. He pay for a lot of thing in the house. Its help me a lot. He was here at my lowest. And "Y" too.
Thats was perfect for me at this time. And now.. i feel realy great. I did a therapy because i had ptsd. But now i feel so good. Like nothing bad never happen.
I find all my energy, my motivation, my ambition and my joy of living. I also stopped taking the birth control pill and I feel even better since then. but now I feel like "X" no longer fits my lifestyle. I am self-employed in an artistic field. I am very active. and “X” doesn’t follow me. when I start to recover my energy. I told myself it was correct. that I could go do my activities with my friends. but OK. It’s more complex than that. I finally realize that I feel something stronger for "Y". and that it better corresponds to who I am. especially now that I feel like I'm myself again. They are both wonderful. Both are very good, caring people, emotionally mature, responsible and with all kinds of good qualities. but even “X” thinks that I will end up being in a relationship with “y”. At first, he said it as a joke. and he says it more and more often. but maybe in the end he was right and had realized something before I even knew it. probably I was living in denial until now.
So I have the impression that if I separate from "X" for the only reason that I am developing feelings for a friend (this friend told me that it was mutual. but that he was going to be a friend if that is what I want and who It's going to be more if that's what I want, but no matter what was going to happen, he was going to be there for me. He admits to being very happy that I confessed that to him and that he was put into it. head that it wouldn't happen so, no pressure) its not a good enough reason. Am i wrong ? I dont want to be the bad person. Its againts my value
“x” has experienced infidelity in the past. I don't want it to deepen a wound he already has. I'm not going to be unfaithful. It’s definitely not. I feel like what I feel for my friend since I learned to be in control is much stronger than what I felt for "X" in our entire relationship. but he is such a good person. I am scared.
Is it worse if i wait hoping to have more reason to leave him or even hoping that my feeling will go away? Or is it worse to leave him straight away, without having taken more time to think about it, having given it a chance and having the only reason that I have less and less feeling for him? And it's not like I have any feelings for him anymore. But in fact... Have I ever had feelings like that for him? Because I didn’t have it like that for him? The kind of butterfly in the stomach. I had started to believe that butterflies in my stomach were a bad sign. And I thought that my relationship with "X" was good because I didn't feel that way, but I felt at peace with him. Serene. Safe. I really want his good. And I refuse to hurt him no matter the circumstances. But its gonna be hard if i want to end the relationship. Because i feel also safe with "Y". He show me many time that i can really trust him. And we have a lot more in common than me with "X".
and "y" really seeks to achieve his goals in life. more than "X". he intends to do what is necessary. so much so that “X” is doing his best to be a better person. but I have the impression that he doesn't really have the will to achieve his goals like me or "y".
I feel good with "X". (I can only compare it with my previous relationships where I experienced domestic violence). so obviously I'm good, compared to my previous relationships. but, I never thought that maybe I could be even better. in a relationship with someone who matches my energy even more.
"x" doesn't want to do the activities I enjoy with me. Most of the time he stays home and plays video games. while “y” naturally has the same interests, tastes and ambition as me. I do more activity with “y” than with my partner “X”. and in general, it doesn't bother "x". the two go to lunch together, they have become friends and they play video games together sometimes.
I dont want to confront "x" and hurt him. I want his good.
And i cant afford to live alone right now.. so i search for a side job, so i can live alone if anything happen. Its gonna be hard. But im ok with it. Because i dont want to stay with him for money. Its stupid. I want to be sur to have a good reason to leave him.
Whats is a good reason to leave someone ? Am i Overthinking it and just go with my instinc/feeling ?
I dont want to just leave a good guy for another guy. (Who is also a good guy). Its sound stupid to me. And i dont want to stay with a guy if im not sur anymore of what i feel about him just because he is a good guy. And even if i left him. I will take some time alone before directly jumping in "Y" arm. Obviously. Even if i want so bad to hug him. To hold his hands. To do listen movie with him and everything.
I dont really have friend to talk about this. We are not close enough.

I am wondering if the level cap for summoning goes away, as it does when using a multiplayer password, when using group passwords WITH the small golden effigy sign? Does the small golden effigy work the same way with group passwords or does it only take away the level cap for summoning when using the multiplayer password and tarnished’s furled finger specifically? I want to level up some more but I’m already at level 151 so I don’t want to get too high of a level and not be able to help randoms beat bosses.

6 months ago we added the $15 +Play credit option to our line. Seemed appropriate since it’s a $10 add-on and you get $15 in credits. Signed up for Netflix premium through Verizon and all has been working well… until this month. This month the full amount of the Netflix subscription was billed to my card instead of using the +Play credit then billing the remainder. The credit still shows as unused. I chatted with support last week and they said the system would catch it within 48 hours and refund it automatically. That did not happen. I chatted today and the rep acted like they can’t do anything about it since it is an automated system. I pressed and they eventually “filed a ticket.” I’ve then asked how I cancel the subscription since my “Manage your subscriptions” page does not have a manage button for my Netflix premium. He said it has already been cancelled. Nope. Not canceled. Shows active and the next renewal date. I was then transferred to a “technical support partner” who couldn’t figure out why either… so now I’m being billed for a +play credit, full amount for Netflix Premium, and no way to cancel. Anyone else run into something similar?

AITA: Backstory: I had a rough relationship with my mother in middle/highschool and eventually ended up sleeping in parks, outside or any friends house in the surrounding area for as long as I could. Eventually I met my boyfriend and started going over to his house for the majority of the day and leaving as late as they’d allow me. Eventually they noticed something wasn’t right and allowed me to stay until 10pm almost every day. One Xmas eve my mother and I really got into it and she started choking me out to where my Necklace cut my neck. At this point I left not planning to return. I snuck over to my boyfriends and spent the night in the outdoor basement on a metal chair with the spider crickets and stray cats in the middle of winter. Their neighbor had a camera that caught me sneaking in and alerted my boyfriend’s parents that some “homeless person snuck into their basement.” at this point they let me stay there, and I slept on the couch, went to every family party for 6 years. His family started to feel like the only family I had.
I lived here for about four years. A lot of drama. His mother is some form of a narcissist alcoholic with no ability to ration or have a normal conversation. She made my life a living hell and everyone else in that house. She’d constantly tell him to grow some balls and get rid of me if he seemed upset and she assumed we were arguing. He was punished due to her resentment for me. She’d tell him to do something simple like the laundry and if he didn’t do it fast enough somehow it was my fault. She expected us to clean more than anybody else in the household and She expected me to clean up after everyone in the household. And I was still in my boyfriend was still reamed because I never did enough. When I started keeping tabs. I realized I did more than everyone combined. I kept videos and pictures and she was not happy about that.
She would scream loudly from downstairs telling him how I ruined him, how I have him by the balls and how much less of a man he is. That we’re just friends with benefits. If we ever have a kid, it’ll be an asshole. She wouldn’t let him drive me to see my father who is in hospice because we had to take her car and she said that he couldn’t use her car for anything related to me and then retracted that statement the next day and said she never said it.
She would talk crap about you loud enough to where she knows u can hear it but to ur face you are her favorite and she never say anything bad about you. It only got worse and worse and worse the longer it went on, and I couldn’t defend myself because if I challenged/ questioned anything, she thought/did/said I was threatened a bed and a roof. Their “generosity” was used against me in every way shape or form. Not to mention, I was mainly referred to as twat/twatface. Almost always called out of my name. This is was a very dehumanizing experience. I felt like a stray animal stuck. Obviously one will snap eventually, and when I did, I lost it.She was yelling at my Boyfriend to spontaneously fix something on her car she had never mentioned before because he started helping me do my oil. When he didn’t stop what he was doing immediately she started throwing out more tasks and yelling we do don’t do anything around the house. This started a fight between the two of them which somehow like always became about me. She had thrown out that I have “done enough” to her and now I started defending myself. I asked her what I do? I’m respectful even when I don’t deserve to be, I keep my mouth shut and I do what I’m told even when I’m being disrespected. She said she has been praying I disappeared since the day I started coming around and I out of a fit of rage told her to croak. I didn’t mean it, She shoved me around in the bathroom just prior so I was in fight or flight already. Especially being that this is already a traumatic environment for me and having come from a traumatic environment prior I wasn’t my healthiest most stable self.
She then preceded to “throw us out” and we had one day to pack and leave. Now the family I’ve spent the last 6 years with won’t speak to me and it’s very awkward.
Everyone says it’s best to not even bother with the situation and to forget about it but this is very much awkward uncomfortable and in a way traumatizing for me and me and my boyfriend have been together now almost 7 years and I’m very close with his family, I feel almost as if I’m reliving the abandonment from my own family and not one person believes she will accept any form of apology, nor would it do any one any favors. I have a huge letter written out for her that I was encouraged not to send so I’ll put it here for more context- I know its a bit rash but I’m very emotional - please let me know am I the asshole?
Letter to his mom:
I’ve had enough of u pretending like you didn’t do anything wrong. Boy do I have years worth of shit to say to you. I know this is probably pointless, you have mocked every single time I have tried opening up to you. But all of what I am about to say needed to be said years ago. I am sorry I said a terrible thing, it was out of anger I didn’t not mean it and I do not wish that upon anyone. it is not my character to pretend I didn’t say it. But The way you all treated me was disgusting. The way you treat your kids and your family is disgusting. You literally brag about not reaching out to your elderly parents. You complain whenever somebody in your family calls or texts you. But they get mad when nobody texts you or keeps u in the loop.
Tomina You have drained me. You have been terrible to me for the entire time I’ve known you. maybe not to my face but I’ve heard it all. I didn’t flip out and for no reason it was bound to happen sooner or later. I snapped. A person can only handle so much psychological abuse. I have done nothing to you except date your son and lose my home. I agreed with you even when u were dead wrong, I stayed away every other time you argued with cole, I walked away. I kept my cool even when I had my name thrown in the dirt for no reason other than your own resentment and hatred. And I know you must really hate me because you couldn’t even be bothered to come to my father’s funeral. And every time I tried to talk about it to you, you somehow made it about yourself.
What do u get from being angry all the time? You create a very hostile environment. You’ve made it so that I never felt comfortable to open my mouth about anything. If anyone in the house said anything that disagreed with you, especially if you are wrong. it’s a fight. That’s not healthy. The one time I ever spoke up to you was to deescalate a fight between you and cole because I thought scream fighting about nuts was unnecessary and I was told I had to move out. How nice! You cannot admit u are wrong ever
I’m sick and tired of every single argument you have with cole actually being about me. You yell at him for literally anything and everything except for the real reason you are mad. Me. You have dreaded my existence since I’ve been around. But we’re always too scared to say it to my face. You talk a lot of shit like you are bold but you are not tomina. I’ve heard you say some terrible things about me then smile in my face the next day. That’s not bold that is a coward. You do the same to your kids. You say some terrible things to them and then instead of apologizing as you should, you buy them a bag of chips the next day. Real mature parenting. Teaching your children apologies aren’t important. Don’t own up to what you say. I’ve literally heard you tell Billy to stop being nicer to me than his own kids all because he offered to pay for my fucking school pictures because no one in my family would. How is that being nicer to me than his kids? That to me sounds a whole lot like jealousy. What are you really mad about? Me!
I feel like you and Billy forget why I ended up there. I genuinely feel like you think I wanted to sleep in the basement with the spiders in the middle of winter. You pretend to care about me. you pretend to understand the situation, but I genuinely do not think you knew the extent of what I went through with my mother. You bitched at me for months telling me to be nice to her then I’d start trying to be nice to her and you use it against me. Mocked me for it. Still do. You may not strangle your kids by the throat like my mother but you do your own damage by calling your child names mid argument like you are the child. You throw tantrums because you don’t get what u want. Who’s the adult? Why can’t you act like one? I can’t imagine how you spoke to them as children.
You were never nice to me not even good at faking it. Every day I lost more and more respect for you hearing the way you spoke to and tried to control your children and me included. It’s honestly about time you got the same treatment. You are genuinely not a nice person. i just finally have the balls to say it.
You will most likely never have a good relationship with ur kids as adults If u don’t realize how you treat people will reflect on how u get treated. You’ll haven’t even even harder time finding someone who’s gonna kindly take care of you. It would probably of helped out in your marriage too. Maybe then you wouldn’t be blaming that on ur kids too when ur mood and how u act is all your fault.
The way you act pushes people away. This will get you nowhere in life with people if you haven’t already noticed. Especially your kids. You act like you know everything and that your better than everyone when really your a very anxious, sad depressed individual who has no friends no social life no hobbies, skills or talents and a failing marriage all of which you literally blame on ur kids-that is psychological abuse btw. Speaking of psychological abuse….
It’s not normal to feel that you cant go to the bathroom in the place that you live. It’s not normal to feel that you can’t eat or make food in the place that you live. It’s not normal to walk on eggshells to avoid shifting your mood one way or the other. This is the environment you create. You are an abusive person. That is the definition of abuse in multiple forms. You may not have ever said u can’t use the bathroom, but nobody wants to do anything to set you off in any way so if Me going to the bathroom or making food it’s gonna cause you to huff and puff and throw a fit. I’ll just hold it til everyone’s asleep. Same thing happened with cleaning. I used to clean all the time when I first moved in. but you started complaining that you couldn’t find anything. You wouldn’t say it to me, but I hear you yelling downstairs that you can’t ever find nothing so I stopped. With the amount of hoarded junk in the house it is impossible to actually get anything clean. You literally told us to just clean around boxes of junk on the floor. You wonder why there’s mice and ants when ur headboard in ur bedroom is covered in food, food gets left out overnight, and ur bathtub is full of boxes. That’s disgusting. Good luck with the house checks doing that.
Did you know there are studies that prove that getting yelled at can literally lead to physical health issues like cardiovascular diseases? You can literally weaken somebody’s heart and immune system by screaming at them nonstop. If you’re genuinely worried about your husband’s health. You should work on yourself there. Maybe he’d want to be home more.
FYI It’s not your child’s job to talk to you because you don’t have friends. It’s not your child’s job to clean every square inch of the house after you because you didn’t clean up after yourself before you went to bed the night before. You put that on them like it’s completely their responsibility. 90% of the messes cole and I clean were everybody elses mess. I can understand wanting to help out, clean up after yourself but you expected us to do literally everything and u expected no one else to clean up after themselves. I kept track for over a month of what Cole did what I did what you did and what Bailey did in a day. I’ll show you that if you’d like. It’s actually crazy how much we “didn’t do” Since all but one person in the house works, Why is it that some people are required to do more than others? Why is it that some get to do less but they do enough?
I’ll tell you why Because you resent me so nothing I do is enough. Cole just gets punished by association
Btw Letting a toddler have free roam of the house while you sleep in the middle of the night isn’t great parenting. Best believe if I ever have a child that is related to you it will never be there alone like that with you. And u continue to act the way u do I promise you it will never be. You’re the one who said that if me and Cole have a kid he’s gonna be an asshole. Good thing you won’t have to meet it. See how there is consequences for what you do and how u treat people!
I have said this to you before. I speak up when I believe things are wrong and you have kept my mouth shut for about four years too long because I wasn’t allowed to have a say. if I spoke at all, cole had to hear it, I was threatened a place to sleep. I was told to go live with my mom. If living with my mom was as easy and simple as you guys make it out to be. I never would’ve lived there in the first place. I never wanted to live at ur house. Me and Coles relationship struggled for years due to it. I didn’t enjoy a single moment. I didn’t feel safe I didn’t feel welcome and I never felt cared about. I’ve been through more than I could handle in the past seven years, you have put me through more than enough, You have put Cole through more than enough.
Btw If you want to continue to go around telling ur whole family how much of a bitch I am, I’ll gladly show them my side of the story. Your actions have consequences and you can’t just go around talking crap about everybody because it makes you feel better. I will clear my name if I have to. I play petty games too.
I have hundreds of videos of the way you speak nasty to everyone in the house over small things like garbage. I have a video of you telling Cole he can’t use the car for anything related to me the day before we were going to go see my dying dad then immediately retracted your statement the day after because of how fucked up it is was. You literally tried to keep me from seeing my dying father because you were mad that he was going.
I’ve recorded almost every argument you’ve had with cole. Every literal pigsty that I had to clean up that everyone decided to go to bed and leave for the next day. So please try and tell me I’m wrong I will prove myself to whoever the hell i need to.
You love telling your side of the story , but you never tell the whole story. Or anywhere near the truth of the situation. You never mention how you act, or what you say that caused the situation to happen how it did. You had no reason to speak to me the way you did to begin with.
I have been nothing but respectful and grateful to you. I’ve been nothing but patient and given what u have put me through I have been exceptionally forgiving. I am no longer keeping my mouth shut with you. I will say what I need to say. You no longer have that control. I really don’t care what you think of me. You don’t think nicely of anyone. You hated every single one of coles friends until now. I have nothing but love for you Billy Bailey and everyone in Cole’s family but I will not however continue to be abused, taken advantage of, and controlled by people who anrent even related to me. You already drove your kids away. You barely see one grandkid. Why would you wanna make it so that you never see another? I’m not one to play childish games with grown people, and I do not respect mean girls that shit talk like they are in highschool that are well over 20 years of age.
Me and cole are very happy. So you are going to have to grow up let go and accept that. If you don’t that is u and Cole’s relationship that suffers. Not ours. If you can’t be friendly you will 100% get what you give. That’s life.

I am done. I truly give up. I keep losing people like it is some pattern in my life that i cannot break. And ai am always told “you deserve better”. I keep forgiving their flaws. And blame myself. Cause of course they would leave after their empty promises. I would leave myself too. And i think it’s about time I do. I know I won’t recover from this anyway so there is not even a point in trying to push through and just bed rotting anymore. I will not be missed, which is clear cause everyone has such an easy time leaving me anyway. I have been thinking about ways on how to do it. Ive written letters and taken care of everything so that when i am gone at least i wont be a burden anymore for anyone.

What's the easiest way to earn credits? Obviously buying them but living on your own is expensive lol. I just signed into my account I haven't used in 6 years and teenage me did not spend credits wisely. Surveys are a good way but they take soopoo long

Texas community for special needs adults is a model for others: 'A joyful place' New film tells faith-filled, family-driven story of community for adults with special needs By Fox News Staff Fox News Published June 9, 2024 1:01pm EDT
"We all need more light today. We need more positivity. We need family and faith, hope and strength — that's what these stories are all about."
Those are the words of SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt, co-founders of the Godwinks brands and based in Massachusetts, who shared the following story with Fox News Digital.
The couple specialize in what they call "Godwinks" stories — and believe that the Lord works in mysterious ways. '
"Godwink is the new word of the language," Rushnell told Fox News Digital. "It means an event that seems like a coincidence — but you know it comes from a divine origin."
Read on to see what he means.
Nurtured by prayer & persistence The Brookwood Community for Adults with Special Needs lies on 485 idyllic acres, a half-hour west of Houston, near the village of Brookshire, Texas.
Brkwd Aerial Photo Brkwd Community The Brookwood Community for Adults with Special Needs Educators in Texas, just west of Houston. Educators have traveled from all over the world to learn how Brookwood has become a model of success. (Brookwood)
Educators have traveled from all over the globe to learn how Brookwood has become a model of success.
From a low-altitude aircraft, one might mistake Brookwood for a small college campus. A chapel steeple rises from a gathering of charming brick buildings, connected by orderly walkways and rolling green lawns, to homes like those in gated residential areas.
It may be difficult to imagine that the magnificent property of Brookwood Community grew from the seeds of tragedy — nurtured by the power of prayer and persistence.
The Brookwood story began with its tall and straight-speaking founder, Yvonne Streit, the mother of a severely brain-damaged daughter, Vicki.
Conventional wisdom told the mom that she'd better put her child away.
As a child, she could neither speak nor move.
Conventional wisdom told the mom that she'd better put her child away.
But "oh no, that was not for me," said Streit.
She found experts who suggested that children with special needs could do many more things than people thought they could. And that, like everyone else, they "needed to be needed" and yearned to have a purpose.
Yvonne & Vicki teen Photo Brkwd Community Yvonne Streit, left, is pictured with her daughter Vicki. Streit found experts who suggested that children with special needs could do many more things than people thought they could — and that, like everyone else, they "needed to be needed" and yearned to have a purpose. (Brookwood)
Subsequently, after months and years of patient training, Streit taught her daughter how to grasp, lift and release an object in order to feed herself.
Years later, when Brookwood was started, the girl's simple skill allowed her to grasp a potted seedling plant, lift it into a tray — and release it.
‘DOGWINKS’ ARE MAN'S BEST FRIEND BRINGING THE DIVINE INTO OUR LIVES WITH ‘GODWINKS’
To this day, Vicki Streit reportedly has repeated that process with over 15,000 plants in Brookwood’s horticultural enterprise.
So she's significantly contributed to one of the largest annual crops of Christmas poinsettias in the state of Texas.
Like so many things in life that people start out to do — it often takes a good number of Godwinks to get there.
Yvonne Streit recalled that when her daughter approached the age of 18, it became clear to her that while many places were teaching special needs children, very few facilities were providing life-skills training for special needs adults.
That gave birth to Yvonne Streit’s dream of starting a place called Brookwood.
Yet, like so many things in life that people start out to do, it often takes a good number of "Godwinks" to get there.
Carefully articulated plan An undertaking like that needed to begin with a carefully articulated plan.
To create the blueprint for Brookwood Community, Yvonne Streit appeared before Rotary clubs, churches, and chambers of commerce — explaining to anyone standing still that she needed seed money for the necessary travel and study.
One night, her husband, Dave Streit, looked at his wife. Seeing the disappointment on her face, he asked how it went at Rotary that day.
Yvonne Streit, founder of Brookwood, with several community members. (Brookwood)
She shook her head and sighed. "One more speech with no takers."
In her bedtime prayers, she choked back tears, she said later.
"God, I know you placed this desire on my heart. And I was sure you had given me the ‘Go’ sign. But, did I misunderstand you?" she prayed. "Because I’m ready to throw in the towel."
A man was standing there with an envelope. He said, "Here’s $10,000 for you to study the idea of Brookwood."
The next morning, she got up and put on the face that many put on sometimes. On the outside, it signals to the world, "I’m good" — but it's really hiding feelings of sadness, worry or fear that exist on the inside.
When she got to the office, a man named Frank was standing there with an envelope. He said, "Here’s $10,000 for you to study the idea of Brookwood."
She was flabbergasted.
Then a few minutes later, her assistant said someone had just called and was "sending over a check for $7,500."
What?
Then, at 10 o’clock, St Luke’s Church phoned. The church was sending a check for $25,000 "to study Brookwood."
And at 11 a.m., the Barrow Foundation called: "We’re sending you $30,000."
Streit couldn’t believe it. She now felt a string of hope, all stemming from her heartfelt prayers of the night before.
It was $72,500 worth of Godwinks — and definitely giving her the "Go" sign.
Long into the future Today, the Brookwood Community is home to more than 250 citizens.
Some individuals paint pottery in stone casting that is then displayed in the gift shop, which looks like it belongs in the pages of a home and garden magazine.
For more Lifestyle articles, visit www.foxnews.com/lifestyle
Other citizens are servers or assistants in the kitchen at the Brookwood Café, a popular luncheon spot for the garden clubs of Houston.
Here, reservations are recommended.
After 24 years, Streit turned over the daily operations to her daughter, Vivian Shudde, herself the mother of a special needs child.
Brookwood in Texas maintains a significant horticultural enterprise. (Brookwood)
For the past 17 years, Shudde, with a degree in special education, has overseen an impressive expansion of the Brookwood campus, developed a succession plan and secured the evolution of the Brookwood Community philosophy long into the future.
"Our vision is to change the way the world thinks about adults with disabilities," the community's website notes.
Now, a new 20-minute docufilm produced by Crescent Moon Productions, "A Joyful Place – The Brookwood Community," celebrates the culture of joy that springs from all those who visit the Brookwood campus.
For more details and history — including a view of the new film — anyone can check out the Brookwood Community's website at www.brookwoodcommunity.org.
Several stories about Brookwood are included in "Godwink Christmas Stories," a book by SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt, while Yvonne Streit’s book, coauthored by Jana Mullins, "Everybody’s Got A Seed to Grow," describes Brookwood's story.
Rushnell and DuArt are also working on a new book due out next year. Anyone can learn more about the Godwinks projects at www.godwinks.com.
This article was written by Fox News staff.

Images

• Species: cat
• Age: 16
• Sex/Neuter status: female, spayed
• Breed: maine coon
• Body weight: 12.5 lbs
• History: Had blood in her urine caused by crystals 4 years ago and we started giving her Purina One Urinary Tract Infection food as per vet instructions. We switched her to senior cat food a year ago.
• Clinical signs:
• 5/26 - 6/1: Willow randomly poops on the floor three times one day. Seems distressed. Then later becomes (what we think) constipated, but she's peeing normally. We give her laxatives. She begins to appear lethargic, eyes tired.
• 6/5: We take her to the vet. Vet says she's actually not constipated, has a fever of nearly 103°, and is mildly dehydrated. She says she might either have a urinary infection or a respiratory infection. She gives us broad spectrum antibiotics to give her 2x day for 7 days, and tells us to come back in a few days if she gets worse.
• 6/7: We have been giving her the antibiotics as instructed. Willow seems a lot better - big eyes, friendly, energetic - but we notice she walks a little weird, like her tail hurts. When we pick her up that day to give her her antibiotics, we hold her a way that applies a little pressure on her tail and she immediately gets extremely upset/angry, hissing, indicating that pressure there hurts her. We let her go and try to pet her, reassure her. She becomes withdrawn, lethargic, and can't tolerate any pressure on the base of her tail.
• 6/9, this evening: She visits us in our room and we suddenly notice she's leaking some kind of fluid, as seen in the attached pictures. We can't tell if it's vaginal or anal, but it doesn't smell like poop. Gross bacterial smell though. Odd fleshy chunks and black specks in it. Pinkish brown color. She doesn't want us to try to clean her butt/vagina area.
• Duration: About 2 weeks
• Your general location: USA, rural south
• Links to any test results, X-rays, vet reports etc. that you have: no test results, no further information

We are taking her to the vet again tomorrow morning. We would like to have some kind of idea of what we could potentially be dealing with here. We have accepted that if she has further issues that cannot be resolved that we may have to her be put to sleep.

Please help I need some advice as soon as possible. I'll be posting to a few different subs so I can get as much help as possible. Thank you
My (16) brother (M23) is an incredibly selfless person from a age he was the one protecting us from our drug and alcohol addicted parents on good days they'd just leave us alone which meant that my brother would be forced to take care of me and my eight siblings but on the bad days they'd find any reason to be mad and beat us, my brother would stand in front of the door way nake sure they would beat him instead of us. They'd use irons, bats anything to make us feel pain but my brother protecting us he would get the worse of it all, he still has a lot fo scars from it all but he has some tattoos that cover them up.
He never got any chance to have a childhood. And even now life hasn't gotten any easier, this last year has been crazy. He lost his best friend of ten years to a drug overdose, and only a month later we lost my little brothers both (M13), my cousin (F16) and my younger sister (F10) car accident a
All three of them ended up in a coma but eventually passed away one by one during this time my brother wouldn't leave their side, he never slept, didn't sleep or drink water. He'd only drink coffee and enegery drinks to stay awake.
And finally we lost our grandmother. She and my brother were always super close, and she passed away. After her passing things quickly went downhill from there. He couldn't sleep, he would've eat and I'm pretty sure he didn't take his meds that are meant to help him with his bipolar.
One day I came home from school and I found out that my brother tried to kill himself so he was sent to the psych ward.
We got to visit him while he was there but he wasn't like himself, he isn't really happy go lucky he can sometimes be like Wednesday Addams but he just looked so drained and dead inside. The nurse said that he had signs of burnout, a mental breakdown and psychosis.
He's been home for about a week now and there is no difference in his behaviour. He is still cold, distant and sometimes I catch him starring off into the distance. I can tell he feels very vulnerable position but he won't let any one of take care of him.
I'm gonna get to the point now today I came home from soccer practice to my uncle and aunt trying to get me to talk to my brother because they got into a fight. I don't wanna get into to much detail but it started over coffee and developed into them blaming him for the car accident.
When I went upstairs he was in a ball crying telling me he's sorry and that I shouldn't have to see him like this. When I bent down to try and comfort he moved from me quickly begging for me not to touch him saying that he doesn't want to hurt anyone and that he is tried of hurting people. I told that it was okay but before I could say more to comfort him he just screamed to leave him alone.
I'm not sure what to do from here. I called my godmother and she left about thirty minutes ago. She managed to calm him down with some herbs.
Do you guys have any advice or tips on how I can help him? Please please help me. Thank you

Please help I need some advice as soon as possible. I'll be posting to a few different subs so I can get as much help as possible. Thank you
My (16) brother (M23) is an incredibly selfless person from a age he was the one protecting us from our drug and alcohol addicted parents on good days they'd just leave us alone which meant that my brother would be forced to take care of me and my eight siblings but on the bad days they'd find any reason to be mad and beat us, my brother would stand in front of the door way nake sure they would beat him instead of us. They'd use irons, bats anything to make us feel pain but my brother protecting us he would get the worse of it all, he still has a lot fo scars from it all but he has some tattoos that cover them up.
He never got any chance to have a childhood. And even now life hasn't gotten any easier, this last year has been crazy. He lost his best friend of ten years to a drug overdose, and only a month later we lost my little brothers both (M13), my cousin (F16) and my younger sister (F10) car accident a
All three of them ended up in a coma but eventually passed away one by one during this time my brother wouldn't leave their side, he never slept, didn't sleep or drink water. He'd only drink coffee and enegery drinks to stay awake.
And finally we lost our grandmother. She and my brother were always super close, and she passed away. After her passing things quickly went downhill from there. He couldn't sleep, he would've eat and I'm pretty sure he didn't take his meds that are meant to help him with his bipolar.
One day I came home from school and I found out that my brother tried to kill himself so he was sent to the psych ward.
We got to visit him while he was there but he wasn't like himself, he isn't really happy go lucky he can sometimes be like Wednesday Addams but he just looked so drained and dead inside. The nurse said that he had signs of burnout, a mental breakdown and psychosis.
He's been home for about a week now and there is no difference in his behaviour. He is still cold, distant and sometimes I catch him starring off into the distance. I can tell he feels very vulnerable position but he won't let any one of take care of him.
I'm gonna get to the point now today I came home from soccer practice to my uncle and aunt trying to get me to talk to my brother because they got into a fight. I don't wanna get into to much detail but it started over coffee and developed into them blaming him for the car accident.
When I went upstairs he was in a ball crying telling me he's sorry and that I shouldn't have to see him like this. When I bent down to try and comfort he moved from me quickly begging for me not to touch him saying that he doesn't want to hurt anyone and that he is tried of hurting people. I told that it was okay but before I could say more to comfort him he just screamed to leave him alone.
I'm not sure what to do from here. I called my godmother and she left about thirty minutes ago. She managed to calm him down with some herbs.
Do you guys have any advice or tips on how I can help him? Please please help me. Thank you

Would an invoice and email chain be enough evidence to dispute a ledger with incorrect billing?
My apartment recently put a threat of eviction on our door because of a billing dispute. We moved in July, 2023 and paid in cashiers check for the required deposits, described in an invoice and emailed as the move in requirements. We paid the invoice in full and were handed the keys in exchange. The invoice clearly has 600$ security deposit listed on it. It also has special app/admin fee pricing for a deal at the time of signing listed, and first month rent.
Well now June 1st, 2024 they randomly throw 600$ back on our bill for security deposit. We spend 3 days discussing the bill with them. They agreed it looks weird but never could offer a better explanation or send over a correct bill.
They do however send over a copy of the ledger. It has incorrect fee amount on it (not special pricing). It doesn’t have a 600$ variance directly after the security deposit/checks in July. It does have a variance by the end of the year (not equal to 600), but we have always paid the emailed bills in full/entire account balance on our portal and have never received notice of a variance.
(We also just noticed the original invoice does not foot correctly… They also normally send us the bill around the 21st before it is due on the 3rd, and this month they did not… we cannot see the amount due in the portal until the 1st.)
After a lot of phone calls, and then in email we request they extend the due date for the random fees until we can receive the correct explanation for them. They agree on the phone but never respond to the email. On the due date night, we pay the correct charges (normal rent/utilities) and wait on an explanation for the incorrect charges.
We never hear back as we were told we would and instead we receive a letter on our door at 7pm referencing Florida statute violation for being in debt to them with three business days to resolve. They also tagged on a 300$ late fee so now we are around 1000$ “in debt” to them.
I am not sure how to resolve the situation. I don’t want to risk eviction but I don’t want to pay them $1000 that they can’t properly invoice/I don’t believe I owe them. Also, what if this were to happen again?

—unsent letter that is unsent for a reason because I’m mad—
You left a few harsh letters for me.
It was to wake me up.
Here’s one for you: you don’t know me.
You will never know me unless you ask.
I enjoy life lightly because I came out the other side of trauma. I know my demons, and they work for me now, versus the other way around.
I’m sorry for your suffering, it is why our souls speak to one another. I feel it. It enrages me and I want my to join a bunch of policy organizations, light them on fire, and scream at ignorant bureaucrats it penguin suits that they have no fucking clue what they did to the soul of the most beautiful man I have ever known.
That’s how much it upsets me. I want to upend my life to seek your justice.
But the person who experienced that same suffering as a child is not the person I am today. She was a different person at 20, and she’ll be a different person at 40.
That was part of the entire point I was making. You ASSUMED I wanted some picket fence life. You ASSUMED I wanted children. You ASSUMED I wanted to get married again at all.
And you assumed I’d be ok with a name without talking to me first. It’s sweet. But it also doesn’t suit me. I’m not purity innocence and hope. That’s just one piece of me.
I am a force in heart shaped sunglasses, I am womanhood, I am nature itself. I feelings AND facts. I am a part of a whole, and an individual . I know myself better than anyone. I deserve to choose my own name.
You created a version on me based on 20 years ago and some social media posts with no understanding.
How dare you try to suggest a nonbinary person’s name without asking if they had chosen one yet.
My name is more than just what I am in relation to YOU. It is mine - it’s ME, I choose it.
And you can’t get to know me until I get to see you in action. Because ACTIONS count.
So watching you blame and get petulant every day for a situation you co-created consciously (while I did do unconsciously) while you wring your hands about responding is pissing me off. Here are my unvarnished thoughts : I’m mad at you because you’re still not communicating while complaining I am not doing the same. Projection.
And don’t beat yourself up because this letter is unsent because this conversation never happened.
Tell me you have feelings for me and want to explore them. Tell me you’re busy and you’re sorry. Tell me you’re bi and only want to date men as long term partners. Tell me you want to be my asexual life partner. Tell me you want to fuck me and get it out of your system. Tell me I’m making you uncomfortable and you’re married and we can pretend this never happened for a few days while knowing full well it did and regretting and ruminating about it for the rest of your life.
Or just take me up on coffee.
Just don’t fucking ghost again. It makes me not engage with you because I’m fully aware of your manipulative tendencies.
Instead of observing me, or wondering about me. Ask.
I want to know your recipes. What seasonings you use. What temperature you roast your favorite vegetable, and why it’s your favorite.
And then not being truthful to the audience testing me when I’m sure I’m not the first woman whose men in her life want to shield her and don’t see her strength or listen to her wants or needs. You’re hurting women by doing that. Giving them more excuses to baby trap us.
I married a man like that. I’m about to divorce him.
Thoughts and feelings, while facinating, do as much for me as thoughts and prayers did for America.
You’re still stuck in your patterns.
You made assumptions about me and my motivations with bothering to ask. Don’t do it again. Get to know me.
A ring on my middle finger means I am engaged to myself. The ring on my thumb is to symbolize my children, which is ALL OF HUMANITY represented by every song I write.
Think about that. I chose you as someone I wanted to build a life with once. I waited for 10 years for us to start building that life.
In the meantime, I had to start alone.
There is always another side of this infinite prisim. How closely have you really looked?
I feel like me being on Reddit is not leading to anything good.
My next long term relationship will absolutely be with someone who communicates, and communication is a two-way street.
You want to suffer, I think. You like it. It’s comfortable. It’s safe.