I was on .25 for 6 weeks. Moved up to .5 last Monday. On .25 my nausea was coming from my stomach areas. After dosing up my nausea feels like it's in my neck area especially when looking down. Anyone else get nausea from looking down is this normal? I'm starting to feel like the OZ is messing with me mentally. I might just drop back to .25 to see if that's the cause.

https://youtu.be/_c_Yg8azAi0?si=Q_vn08wurgEkdQJR
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rem/newtestleper.html
Hello everyone, I hope all is well. Today we are going to be taking a closer look/listen at “New Test Leper” which is the third track from the “Hi Side” of the band’s 1996 album New Adventures in Hi-Fi.
This song was actually one of the four songs from the album that was recorded in Seattle, Washington at the Bad Animal Studios. Even though this song wasn’t recorded on the road during the Monster tour like most of the album’s tracks, it was written and played during one of the band’s soundchecks. Peter said “And for some reason, we just forgot about it and never really played it. I don’t know why. Michael just happened to luckily enough have it on tape.” Peter also stated that this is the most “R.E.M.” sounding song on the album.
And I can see why Peter made that comment because the song starts off with Michael’s vocals right away, acoustic guitar, a shaker and some organs from Mike. With that acoustic guitar and that 6/8 time signature it’s definitely giving me Automatic for the People vibes, especially with a song like “Try Not to Breathe.” Now lyrically, here’s another quote from Peter in discussing the inspiration for the song;
“Michael was watching one of those talk shows and I think the subject was ‘People judge me by the way I look’ or something.” Whereas I, when I have the misfortune to look for two minutes at one of those Oprah, Geraldo things, I just get revolted at everyone concerned: the audience, me. Michael actually looked at it and felt like, ‘Gosh, what if someone’s actually trying to communicate something to these people and this person who’s in this awful, tacky, degrading situation?’”
The song starts off with the memorable lyric “I can't say that I love Jesus, that would be a hollow claim.” With this lyric in particular Peter said “It’s written from the perspective of a character that Michael saw on TV on a talk show. But are people going to think Michael’s talking about himself not liking Jesus? I don’t think that people will take us that seriously.”
The next lyric “he did make some observations and I'm quoting them today” seems to be Michael referencing the host of this religious talk show. The quote he uses is “judge not lest ye be judged” which, as Michael says, is a beautiful refrain. But the studio audience of the talk show don’t agree as they ask “have his lambs all gone astray?” It appears that there’s a guest on this talk show who is a “leper” which could mean an outcast of sorts. And in the chorus they say “call me leper.” I think the point that Michael is trying to make is how ironic it is that people of religious stature are judging someone else for not following teachings of the Bible when they are doing that themselves. As the title of this song deals with the New Testament and lepers played in a role in the different stories.
Now before we get into the rest of the song we gotta talk about the music up to this point. As I mentioned earlier, the song starts off with acoustic guitar, organs, vocals and a shaker. Despite it starting off as an acoustic number, the song has an upbeat tempo to it that makes it far from the slowest song on this album. And halfway through the first verse we get the bass and drums entering the mix. The song itself is fairly simple, but Mike’s bassline is far from it! Instead of playing a normal bassline, Mike is playing a lead melody that might as well be played on guitar. He’s what he had to say about this specific bassline just last year;
“I try to keep my bass lines a certain way, but for some reason with 'New Test Leper' I decided to basically play a bass solo all the way through the verses. You don't want the bass by itself, but in terms of free-forming and playing a lot of notes and having a lot of fun with it, I think 'New Test Leper' is the one where I took the guardrails off of it and had a good time."
I also love the electric guitar part during the chorus. Not only is the melody catchy but I love the tone to it. I can’t tell what effects it has on it but it sounds like a tiny bit of tremolo and it gives me strong surf vibe. It’s perfect because it fits alongside Michael’s simple delivery of “call me leper.” Which is also fitting because during the verses Michael’s vocal delivery is soft and warm and has a ton of great dynamics to it.
In the second verse we have Michael calling out the talk show after the host says “you are lost and disillusioned.” Michael understands how awful this show and crowd are and was hoping they’d be able to understand. But when the subtitle on the show say “I am not an animal” he realizes how ugly the whole event is. It should be noted that the quote “I am not an animal” comes from Michael’s favorite movie The Elephant Man which also inspired other R.E.M. songs like “Carnival of Sorts.”
After another melodic chorus we get an instrumental bridge with a gorgeous guitar solo from Peter over some mournful chords. It has that western Glen Campbell sound to it that Peter would return to in a couple albums with Reveal. The tone of that guitar shimmers and shines and the organs feel perfect backing the whole bridge. By far my favorite bridge on this album.
When the band goes back into that last verse we get this eerie sounding guitar feedback from Peter. I feel like this is suppose to be to leave a bad taste in your mouth the same way that this tv show has left a bad taste in this “leper’s” mouth. Michael sings from the perspective of the leper and how they finally understand the show was just a way to shock and awe people. Before they can tell their story, the show cuts to a commercial break. And as they are sitting through five commercials, the host is just staring blankly into his pre organized index cards. He explains how the guests were “scared and hardened” and ends the verse with the lyric “what a sad parade” which Michael admits he borrowed from his fellow songwriter and friend Vic Chestnutt.
The last chorus of the song starts off without any drums which is a nice way to slow the song down before one final chorus with all the instrumentation. Peter continues with that bouncy guitar riff until the band ends on a minor chord which is very appropriate.
Despite this song having a music video directed by Lance Bangs, and despite it being one of Michael’s favorite songs from the band, it was never an official single. It was only used a promotional single in Germany. Yet I feel that’s not a bad thing as this song and its profound meaning might have gone over some non fan’s heads after hearing that opening line. Yes, Michael used a real religious tv evangelism for the background of this song, but it’s not to hate on a specific religion. But more so to show the hypocrisy of preaching kindness and telling people to treating others how you want to be treated, to just then turn around and judge someone for being different. This message is wrapped up in this jaunty acoustic number that features all the great element throughout this album while remaining fresh. Plus it’s one of Mikes best basslines.
But what do you think of this song? Should it have been a single? What do you think the song is about? Favorite musical or lyrical moments? And did you ever see it live?

TLDR: loving the Botox right now. 40ish year old female.
*****
I got Botox in my armpits about 2 weeks ago for hyperhidrosis. First time treatment. So far, this is my experience. I'll break it down by my treatment experience first. Then I'll break it down on how the outcomes affect my life.
Treatment Experience

• I have never had the worst hyperhidrosis, but enough that it affected my life (more on that later). It only really affects me in my armpits.
• I have visited GPs (GP = general practitioner) about this many times in the past, and they just prescribe me medical strength aluminum that I have to put on once a week. I have tried this a number of times during my life, and it was never effective. When I was 19 years old and tried this, I actually got red burns in my armpits that made me cry they were so painful. Reflecting back, I was probably putting it on too frequently.
• I am originally from the US, and have lived in 5 other countries. I moved to Italy about 1.5 years ago. I visited my GP and asked for a Botox prescription and he happily gave it to me after I described my experience. Though I have access to the public health care system in Italy, the wait times are very long. Like most people, I carry private health insurance as a result. I wanted my treatment before summer started, otherwise I would have had to wait until November for an appointment in the public system.
• My appointment was with a neurologist in Milan. The procedure took about 15 minutes. There were around 20 pokes in each armpit. I have a high pain tolerance. I would rate this a 2 or 3 out of 10. Very pokey. I just took some very measured breathing to calm myself through it.
• The cost was €340 without insurance. My insurance covers the procedure. I have Googled other procedures in other cities and at cosmetic clinics I can see it ranging from 700 to 1,000 for a treatment.
• My neurologist told me that I would feel the effects within 4 to 10 days, and that they should last anywhere between 4 to 9 months. Some people report the effects are gone by 2 months, but he cannot treat me again before 3 months otherwise I can develop antibodies to the procedure.
• I already felt the effects on days 2 and 3, and everything was definitely in full swing by day 4. More on the effects/outcomes next.
• My neurologist did tell me that hands are more painful but all of his patients come back for their repeat treatments because the outcomes are worth the pain. He also offered that if I get underboob sweat that he can treat me there too (I declined this first time).

Outcome Experience First take:

• I would say that my sweating has dropped by 90-95%.
• If I do sweat, it just has a more "normal" acceptable odor to it rather than being gagging rancid.
• I am still wearing deoderant for the 5-10% but I only need to apply once a day. And some days I forget to apply.
• Even if my insurance didn't cover this treatment, I would pay for it out of pocket. I would not visit a cosmetic clinic though because their prices are higher, I would simply visit a neurologist and pay out of pocket for the treatment there (which is what I do anyway, run the credit card and get reimbursed by my insurance company).
• I have not noticed any increased sweating anywhere else on my body, however summer really only just started so will be monitoring/journaling that one closely.

It is almost hard to have known how badly my sweating affected me until after the procedure. Some of my own reflections:

• Ghost Sweat/Smell and Anxiety/Panic: It's going to take me a long time to lose the sweating/smelling panic and anxiety. I have this almost phantom sweating now. I go about my day, I think I feel that I'm starting to sweat, then I panic about "oh gosh, now I'm out in public and I'm going to smell bad and my shirt will be ruined and I will have to change before I go to dinner later and darnit I should have brought my deoderant with me and yuck I hope no one can smell me right now and I'll just keep my arms squished down to tightly pack the smell in there until I get home". And then I do a sweat and smell check - and there is nothing. No wet stains. I smell absolutely fine.
• Wardrobe Options Unlocked: Pre-Botox I would say that I was very limited in wardrobe options. I bought/wore maybe 10% of the possible outfits that I would actually like to wear. Shopping freaking sucked. I would not buy any clothing tops or dresses that touched my armpits. Period. So all of my clothes were either tank tops with a kimono or other cover top I could easily swap out when it got too sweaty/stinky, or very loose t-shirts. Nothing form fitting, ever (except swimsuits and tank tops). Even tank tops I was very particular that the lower portion needed to dip as low as possible, I could not wear any tank tops where the arm pit was tight/touching. It's crazy to think of the wardrobe styles and colors that have been unlocked now.
  • One story I tell my friends was a few years ago I was speaking at a conference of around 100-150 attendees. This is a normal part of my job, I love public speaking and thrive on it. Even so, I will of course get a bit anxious in the 1 hour before I go on. For this specific conference, I had worked with my executive coach to buy a new top that had a pop of color - something memorable - in bright blue silk. Luckily I was staying at an Airbnb about a 10 minute walk away from the facility. After arriving in the morning, within 30 minutes I looked down and I was soaking wet through this bright blue silk blouse, with wide water marks. I was horrified at my rookie mistake. I immediately ran back to my Airbnb, changed into my dull frumpy black top and black sweater, and then ran back to do my speech/panel.
• Travel Packing: Holy heck now I realize how people can travel so light with just a backpack. They can re-wear most of their clothing. I have always needed to bring a lot of change of clothes. Not necessarily bottoms, but tops yes. Because even though I might have the ability to at least hand wash, it may take too long for them to dry before I need to wear them again. So I just pack a little bit more clothes to be safe. Just this last week I never had to do laundry and I was on a 10 day trip, and I re-wore every top I put on at least 2-3 times. Some clothes I never even wore because I didn't need to. I have unlocked so much more possibility for traveling light.
• Cute Airport Looks: I am a person that believes you should look nice when you travel, and since you never know who you are going to meet then you should look your best to be ready for such random encounters. But, I never got to be that person because of my sweating. "Travel Day" (arrival and departure) was always just planned around the outfit that would make me sweat/smell the least. I wouldn't even bother putting on makeup because I felt gross and wet and stinky anyway so why bother? Usually by the time I got to the airport, I was already wet and smelly from going up and down stairs and taking public transportation, just trying to hide it for my flight until I could change and reapply deoderant. But now? I can look cute when I travel. Today I hauled my suitcase to the airport, flew home to Italy from the Netherlands, with no sweat and no smell. I'm really looking forward to finally being able to "dress cute" at the airport and feel confident in myself.
• Intimacy: Pre-Botox I would make my outfit and dating choices around my sweating. I would have to really analyze the situation, the weather, whether we would be sitting outdoors or indoors or in air conditioning or not, if he had air conditioning at his home or not, all to determine whether or not I would go home with him. All of that anxiety about sweating/smelling meant that intimacy was never spontaneous, always planned, which I hate. Additionally, if the stars did align for something spontaneous (perfect outfit choices for the setting) then if I got to his home and realized I didn't have any deoderant with me I would check his bathroom cabinet for spray deoderant. If I found spray deoderant that I could use to top up before getting sexy and to top up again in the morning, then I would stay over. If not, I would leave and go home. Another example of one my crutches: I would always stink in the morning so I would try my best to wake up before him, run to the bathroom and apply deoderant, and then come back to bed before any morning intimacy began.

Overall, 10 out of 10 will get the procedure done again when the effects have worn off.

I typically avoid posting too much personal crud, but I really needed to vent today and I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable venting to directly.
Backstory - I’ve been going through a divorce for the last few years, and stayed single for the first year of separation. Last year, I started trying to get back out in the dating scene. Despite getting matches, I only managed 3 different dates in about a years time. First one was a catfish, second one was just not a good date. No chemistry. Third one turned into a few dates and a “sorry, you’re such a great guy, you’re nice, your fun, and your funny, but I just wanted a FWB situation. At that point, I gave up on the dating apps and in dating in general. What’s the point right?
I ended up hanging out with someone I’ve known for a few years, things happened, and i thought we were dating. She ended up correcting me later, saying that we were only ever FWB, and she could never be my romantic partner. She cares about me, I’m a great guy, I’m nice, I’m fun, but she just can’t see a future with me.
Kept things going for a little while, and then she started pulling away. Then boom. “We’re just friends for now”.
Which hey, definitely appreciated the communication.
Still man, I’m feeling pretty hopeless, like I’m nothing more than a placeholder for women. Someone they use for attention until something better comes along.
This last one, that was enough. It taught me that love aint in my cards. So rather than keep whining and feeling sorry for myself, I think I’ll just embrace it. Stop wasting my time and energy on dating, and pour it into my fitness and hobbies.
I may not be worthy of love from others, but I can love myself.
That Dax song is too damn true. It’s not about how you feel, but what you can provide.

Hi! I’m going to a concert at Hersheypark Stadium in a few weeks. Is there a recommended area near the stadium for someone to do a drop off/pick up? I don’t really want to mess with a $50 Uber to travel 5 miles after it’s over and parking is always a mess getting out of there it seems. TIA!!

Decided to summarize all my thoughts in a post because I'm getting tired of arguing about this in another thread. Feel free to disagree with my logic in favor of yours.
It seems like the overwhelming majority on this sub is firmly against encouraging newer players to attempt to play piece sacrifices.
Some of you might say that this is bad because...
...you are willfully going down on the material count. When 95% of beginner games are decided by blunders, so if anything material count should be less decisive in the lower rating ranges. This seems like a very one-POV type of argument. (can't you just be happy that they are not UNintentionally giving up material /s)
...you are likely just making it harder for yourself, and are more likely to misplay the position. Which I again see as a one-POV type of argument. There's also an opponent you're playing, right? If you can make it more likely that THEY mess up, why not just go for it?
...you can simplify the game by exchanging pieces and go into an endgame where you're winning. This is definitely not as simple for beginners as it's made out to be, let alone the fact that the majority of lower rated players don't know how to convert endgames where they're only winning by a small margin.
...you are not getting something back immediately, like a checkmate or winning back material. Then it's not a sacrifice, it's just a tactic. (by the way, do your puzzles lads)
...the engine doesn't approve. I can't tell you how many games I've played where the engine would've thought both me and my opponent were drunk. The right kind of sacrifices complicate the game for both players, but because you are the one who plays it you've already put more thought into it than your opponent. Again, beginners are not likely to stay ahead if your sacrifice has a clear motif.
...the engine does approve and says it's equal or better, but I'd still like to refer to any of the above points. Just no.
I don't understand why it's apparently such a no go to encourage the players on the aggressive half of the playing style spectrum to try and develop an eye and intuition for when a sacrifice does look threatening and when it doesn't. Not even discussing the perception that playing a move where you tempt your opponent to go ahead in material is perhaps one of the most smug things you can do on a chess board and for many players it can make the game a lot more enjoyable.

Listen to Unknown Animal Sound Recording by hopshead on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/YVoPG
You can also hear the full story on Sasquatch Chronicles it's episode 940 "Unknown Animal on the Pipeline Site"
Hey all, just wanted to share this with the community to get some feedback. I'm curious to see what people think of this audio. I'll share the story here:
In 2018 I got a super easy job as a security guard for a natural gas pipeline construction project in rural Ohio. This was a ways outside of Minerva, home of the locally famous "Minerva monster" story from the 70s or 80s. My job was to just sit at the entrance to this construction site to make sure no one sabotaged or stole construction equipment, which never happened so I mostly did literally nothing from 7pm to 7am. There were 2 houses within a mile of where I was and most nights their dogs would bark all night in some kind of yelling match with the coyotes. It was just a constant that you could rely on. Dogs barking, coyotes yipping, and occasionally a cow or two mooing in between with a Neverending chorus of crickets and Frogs in the background. One night in August around 2am, EVERYTHING went quiet. It was the weirdest most eerie abrupt silence it gave me goosebumps. I genuinely thought there might be an earthquake or something about to happen. And it stayed silent for about an hour and I was anxious the entire time. Then, the roaring started. It started far off to my right side. So far, I could barely hear it. I thought it was a person messing with me from like a mile or two away. But it got closer SO QUICKLY. You'll hear in the recording, this thing was vocalizing every couple seconds and at some points it sounds pretty pissed at something. The sound quickly crossed my field of hearing in about 5.5 minutes it went from out of earshot on my right, crossed in front of me, and then was out of earshot on my left. I cannot describe how FAST this thing had to be moving to cover that kind of distance in that short of a time. At its closest, the sound reverberated in my chest and literally rattled the windows of my car. I've spent much of my life fishing, hunting, camping and hiking in Ohio. I know every kind of sound of every kind of animal Ohio has to offer. The ONLY animal explanation I will accept of this recording is MAYBE a beagle or some kind of hound Baying but even then I don't believe it I could just kind of see it could be that possibly. People have tried to tell me this is a deer and I laugh at them. Some people think it sounds like a rusty gate or machinery but I don't really hear that and the way it reverberated is not how squeaky rusty sounds carry through the woods.
If you find the episode on Sasquatch Chronicles you can hear some of the weird things that happened the nights before the recording was taken which I don't feel like typing up in detail but in short we found a muddy handprint on top of a shipping container, and then a whole ass rock was thrown THROUGH the side of a shipping container. I do not have pictures of those however :-(
Please feel free to ask questions and tell me what you think of the recording!

My bf cheated on me and I made it worse. Idk what to do
I (16f) found my boyfriend (17m) looking at girls tiktoks who he used to like and has tried to get with before. Ik we are young and I feel immature to even being upset about it but there is a lot more to it. Around a year ago when we first started dating I had a groups of friends I hung out with, I became friends with them after I had broken up with my ex of 2 years who had cheated on me to many times to count, I was alone with no friends during this time because I wasn’t allowed to have any my ex didn’t like any of my friends who I had and I wasn’t very good at making new friends as I liked to stick to my circle. With this group of friends I had I didn’t want to lose they were all I had and we were all so close and got along. While I had a situationship with one of the boys in the group and another had liked me I still wanted be friends with this group while getting with my now bf (17m). I wasn’t allowed friends in my last relationship and I told myself I couldn’t go into that place I was again were I was alone with a guy I didn’t know if I could trust yet, so I continued hanging out with them for about 2-3 months before I eventually cut ties with no drama for my now bf. Fast forward everything goes perfect for months until about a month ago I had a gut feeling and decided to look on his phone, I ended up finding videos of women on TikTok wearing very little clothing ( I wasn’t really mad about that because I didn’t know them there could be no way he would know them in real life or cheat on me with them) AND one of my friends tiktoks and another girls that goes to our schools account, he had looked threw everyone one of their videos at around 12 at night after I had to go home at 11. He had also screenshots my friends account name so he could look it up on his other account. I felt sick so I played it off as I just didn’t feel good and asked for him to take me home and once I walked through the door I sent all the screenshots and proof of the videos the account name being copied all the other girls and said I didn’t want to hear from him. He then at first lied and said it came up on the people you may know slide on TikTok how it comes up and just showed people who you might know, then after arguing a bit more and me saying how he looked her up and screenshotted her account name doesn’t line up with he just stumbled along her account and the other girls account. a few days go by we’re not on the best of terms but we end up going on a trip with a few of his buddies to see another of his friends graduation, a few days after that I ask him to come up to my job on my break to talk and for me to tell him I’m moving (he is also moving to a different town 11 hours away for college in July and I’m moving to a town around a hour away from our home town) and talk about everything that has happened. During our talk he brings up me hanging out with my friends and the guys who liked me in the beginning of our relationship. I explain to him why I still did that and why I needed my friends (he knew about my past with my exs, and how I was kinda sa’d by one of them) he knew I wanted my friends there for me so I knew I wasn’t going to be trapped and felt alone again. At first he let me see them at our town hang out spot while he was there and I was perfectly fine with that then eventually it grew to I couldn’t see them at all. Im upset but I understand. Back to when we were talking , I end up storming out of the break room where we were talking to grab my friend who works with me to talk to her, I explained everything that happens, and I decided to break up with him. A few more days go on and we argue some more and I end up going with my friend who I had the situationship with before my bf to lunch that next school day, and start seeing my old friends again. We end up going to the lake one day and my friend (16f) tells me to f her brother (19m) we end up just lying and saying we did when we did not to get back at my bf for hurting me and doing what he did (I KNOW THAT WAS MESSED UP, that should have never happened for a number of reasons) Everyone hears about it and eventually my bf does too and he says it’s a case and eventually tells my mom about us drinking and about me and my friends brother and I get told to come home to exchange clothing and stuff. I end up getting grounded for the whole summer and I tell them both that we lied about it all and it was just to get back at my bf for hurting me , this almost gets my friends brother in trouble with the cops but my mom believed me when I said we didn’t so she didn’t press charges. Then my bf (now ex) and my friends brother get into a fist fight over something not involving me. And friends brother gets arrested and released.
I apologize this is not well formatted, and apologize for it being a little confusing as it is for me too. I do not know how to handle the situation further, I’m hurt, he knew about what I’ve delt with with guys and he told me I could trust him then he turns around and stalks my friends who are exactly his time, we are all blonds with blue eyes, but they are so much prettier then me and have better bodies, he says I’m the pretties girl in the world but how do I believe that when hes been looking at other girls who are obviously his type, it just makes me feel I’m not good enough for him and he just settled for me.
I just want opinions on what I should do, he treated me perfectly those months in between and we were happy I don’t want to lose that but I know I’ll never be able to trust him again, he probably won’t either. Im aware I messed up and made the whole situation worse and brought more drama into it but it helped me feel better at the time.

This is going to be long, but it's the most condensed I could make it.
I just don't know what to do and who to turn to.
My wife has had a rough life since her childhood. She was largely neglected in every sense and had chronic, debilitating migraines and pain since she was a child. Despite this she grew up to be a smart, driven, capable, compassionate woman.
When we first started dating, I knew she had some health issues, but it didn't bother me as I wanted to take care of her. She always hated feeling like she was a burden and was always trying to figure out new treatments and supplements to address her health issues. Despite that, we enjoyed our time together trying new restaurants and snuggling up on the couch or in bed.
When we got married we wanted to do a destination wedding in Mexico, but my family made a big stink about it and manipulated me to have us compromise for a domestic wedding and a symbolic one in Mexico. In hindsight I should have told them to pound sand, but I was a different person back then.
Then when it came to kids, I wanted us to try and she wanted to adopt. I wasn't opposed to adopting, but I wanted us to try first while we were younger. We went back and forth, but eventually she agreed and we had our daughter. It was a tough time as she gave up on her career to take care of our daughter as I had the better paying job. She had some post partum. But she wanted to have another, so we had my son a few years later.
The pregnancies really seemed to exacerbate her pain and health issues, and over the years it's gotten worse. I will fully admit that I can't truly understand her pain and it took me a while to realize how to adjust to be a spouse of a chronic pain sufferer.
Over the years, as life became more complicated, we drifted further and further apart. My career had afforded us a comfortable living with a house, two cars, a nice neighborhood, and nice things. But date nights became fewer. Instead of her ushering me off to bed when she was getting ready so we could snuggle, we went to bed at separate times. Intimacy waned. It started bothering me a few years ago. So I tried to open a dialogue on it.
What I was told was that she was resentful of being made into a housewife in a suburb while her health made her feel trapped and overwhelmed. She needed me to be more accommodating to her bad days and more involved in housework and child care. I tried to take it to heart and make efforts to do so and things would be good for a while. But then it would fall apart again. I became depressed.
Meanwhile we discovered her health was caused by a genetic condition that had no clear form of treatment. She had already tried the bulk of them to no avail. We'd go through numerous alternative treatment options over the years, but nothing TRULY addressed her pain or other symptoms. Each attempt hurting more and more, removing hope.
She would tell me that I needed therapy for my depression and I would spend a couple of years trying every antidepressant and seeing a therapist. And while it was nice to have someone validate my feelings, my wife didn't think my therapist was using the right tools to get me where she thought I needed to be. So I stopped going since the major driver was to address whatever was driving a wedge between us. My depression was getting worse as I felt more and more defeated. She'd suggest numerous supplements which helped in some regards, but never really made a significant dent in this dread I felt as my marriage seemed to be crumbling.
I would try more unconventional treatments like happy lights, meditation, gratitude journals, micro dosing certain fungal elements, even spending a month getting electromagnetic shocks from a dome that a clinician put over my head (her recommendation). It might give a boost via the placebo effect, but it would never last. My wife still didn't seem to think it was enough and we were growing further and further apart.
Now I'm sure some of you reading this might be screaming at me that just treating myself for depression and trying to modify my behaviors to address my wife's concerns is only my part of it. That she needs to make efforts too. And to her credit she has tried things, but it rarely lasts more than a few weeks. The worst part is she doesn't seek to understand what she can do better and she doesn't take my critiques well. If I come out and tell her something that she's doing is bothering me, if it isn't blatantly obvious she's in the wrong, she gets mad and shuts down on me. So I avoid bringing it up, but eventually when we're connecting I inevitably bring it up and it makes us not talk for several days. Oftentimes it ends up judo flipped on me and she reminds me about how hard her life is already and that she can't just be super lovey dovey and focus on me. She's touched out from our kids and the dogs. She just wants to be left alone and not have to validate or reassure me. She's convinced that our house makes her more sick and that she wants to move to another country and have land.
I know she needs to address some of her issues stemming from her childhood trauma and chronic health issues. To mourn the life she thought she would have. But she is CERTAIN that she's got the mental fortitude to be objective and see past her biases. That our issue is my expectations are too high.
It's bogus if course. I don't think expecting that we make our marriage a priority and making it a point to connect more meaningfully and work on our communication is unreasonable. She's just redirecting. In my opinion she's so sensitive to feeling responsible to not being as capable as she feels that she should be that whenever I shine a mirror on her she just uses her rage and resentment to deflect it and put me in the defensive. Then, maybe if I love her enough, I'll change into some sort of person that can enable her to do all the things she feels like she needs to do. At this point it is an extremely handy man who's focused on exactly what she wants, who never asks her to compromise, is always present, anticipates her needs, and never really asks for much in return. So... A fantasy.
Since she was focused on making it about my expectations and inability to understand her, I took it as a challenge to read all sorts of books on how to navigate marriage and be a better partner. And for a while, that helped. But then when I would try to share what I learned that could apply to her, again, it would just devolve into us it talking for a few days.
If you're still reading, you probably are suggesting that I give her an ultimatum to get counseling, single or couples. Otherwise, divorce. And I have tried in the past, but I can't seem to bring myself to actually pushing for divorce. I still truly love my wife and yearn for her to want to be the best spouse for me. I know my wife loves me, but not in a way you hope your spouse would. Every now and again, there is this glimmer of hope that keeps me hanging on. And I am trying to view her actions through the lens of someone who is suffering and needs my help. After all, I do feel responsible for some of her increased pain due to my insistence to have kids. And since she was a stay at home Mom for 8 years, her professional career has definitely limited her earning potential, so starting out on her own after a divorce is going to be hard. And I also recognize that I'm not a saint in this whole thing and I have things I need to work on too.
But I feel like divorce is inevitable at this point. It keeps getting harder and harder to deny how I'm feeling. I try to keep our unhappiness contained so no one knows, but I now know it's becoming more and more obvious. My daughter told my sister that the guest room is where daddy sleeps most of the time. My parents can tell I'm suffering and recognize how much I'm straining myself to accommodate my wife.
I have begged and pleaded for her to see this as I do. Cried until I'm a blubbering mess explaining how I want to salvage our marriage. How I'm trying to meet her, but she's not meeting me. Sometimes it helps and we have a few good days, but it gets shorter and shorter before it goes right back to what it used to be. Oftentimes the moment I imply she's not being as good of a partner as she could be, she gets mad and ends the conversation. I want to get therapy, but our insurance sucks and would require me to travel 45 min out of my way to the nearest provider. I know I'm not being a good role model for my kids. I know my health is declining from this all too. I feel buried under this life and having a harder and harder time recognizing myself as I look in the mirror. I just need her to see how she's hurting me and want to do what she can to fix it. To let me know that she recognizes that we're better together and need to be able to clearly, honestly, and openly communicate with each other. That she respects me. I'm sick of doubting myself and trying to mold and shift and strain to feel truly understood only to be disappointed.
But every time it seems just in reach, she just uses her chronic health issues and dissatisfaction with our current life as a means to justify her mistreatment. I truly, TRULY want to have us together. But I can't do it on my own and I feel like I'm being forced to end our marriage and be labeled as the guy who ditched his chronically ill wife because she wasn't enough for him. I know my kids would likely feel like I'm the bad guy. I know our lives our so intertwined that the idea of separating seems impossible.
I just... I just feel so stuck and hopeless.
Thank you for reading this all of you made it this far.

Available 24/7. ✅ Moderator & Legend Tier ✅ One of the most experienced and trusted sellers here. 1000s of completed deals over 10 years. When you buy from me you never have to worry about bans or getting scammed.
XBOX Series S/X Coins = $20 per M
iMessage/Text me at 917-697-6254 24/7 for instant response. Happy to answer any questions or walk you through the process.
Delivery Method: There will be no bans, as I use the most efficient & safe coin trading process available.
1. Special Card -- This Madden is the easiest ever to buy coins. This is the fastest way to receive coins. No account details are needed. Simply, post a specific card to auction based on the amount of coins purchased, I buy it, done. Takes 1 minute or Less. I'll let you know who to post once we chat & work out a deal.
\Please note that this special card is created by myself and the other mods here and we watch it over. Unfortunately many people copy our method and typically mess it up which is why we have to constantly change it.*
Call/Text: +1-917-697-6254
Payment Methods: Accepts practically every payment option
Rep Threads:

• MY LATEST MCS REP THREAD (200+ Comments)
• PREVIOUS MCS REP THREAD (500+ Comments)

https://join.monzo.com/c/8r8z1d8

I would just like to clarify that I am not a parent, nor in a relationship, if kids were involved I wouldn't walk away like this.
I am a second-year college student, I have two more years until I graduate and leave. I grew up poor, its a struggle to afford college, I have a part-time job which helps make ends meet. My part-time job includes working with children, I have to do safeguarding training. My mother was a single parent, my dad wasn't in the picture. Although my dad weren't in the picture, I realised they were bad as each other. As I went through the training, there were lots of types of abuse and examples of abuse mentioned, I soon realised almost all abuse that were listed (Apart from the one including s and ends in l) I experienced.
My mother was a neglectful parent, for example, she didn't get us to wash or teach us about personal hygiene, when I was 13, my teacher took me aside to speak about personal hygiene, I thought I was normal. My siblings have always denied that my mother was abusive, since accepting I was abused I started therapy and I am still coming to terms with it. My family are a dysfunctional family, full of gambling, drug and alcohol addicts. Every single day there was always shouting and arguing between my siblings, me and my mother. we never acted like a normal family, if we did it was only an act to showcase that "we're doing okay", as soon as CPS left, it went back to normal.
Why am I done with my family? Why am I walking and away from my family and never forget? It's to do with the latest drama. My family and I had an argument over politics, they disagree with me massively. My family kept threatening to disown me, my own sister was threatening to not let me see my nephew anymore. A day later there was another argument, my sister said I am really my father's daughter, it seemed to me she was saying we're not related and i'm an abusive prick like him.
I am done with my family, I am done with constantly coming back to them after they say the most hurtful things. I am done enabling them and helping them when they treat me like this. My mental health has been spiralling down for years. When I'm not around them I feel relaxed. It doesn't help the fact that I'm living with my other sister who doesn't work, doesn't have any money and relies on me to put a roof of her head and feed her.
Unfortantely, because of college and being scared for my safety, I won't be moving until after I graduated. I have planned it, I bought a refurbished phone, I ordered a sim card, I am slowly deleting social media accounts one by one, this is a new reddit account which I may no longer use, I have picked the location I want to move to, it's 8+ hours away from where my family and I live. I've created a new "secret" bank account, I won't be sending the bank details to anyone. I already have a placed organised, my friend is allowing me to purchase a property their family owns, it's rundown, it's needs some repairs but it's affordable and most of the repairs I can do.
I hate the fact I have to wait two years, but its happening, I am done with my family, I also hate the fact I have to be around them for two more years. I have planned my escape route, when to escape.

Hi!
I’m here because I’d love to make some ace (meaning asexual, I'm asexual myself) friends—and I ask you to please only message me if you’re interested in keeping it friendly. That being said I will do my best to hype you up if you’re ever in need of a little TLC (tender loving clown, that’s me ✌)
Some stuff about me: I like long-distance running, strength training, anime, video games (PC/Switch), language learning, writing fiction and doing content creation related stuff. I also used to play a lot of different trading card games but quit when I had to move away for school. Oh and I like pets, especially spontaneous pics of them (👀 also I don’t have any sadly).
My best friend qualities is that I always try my best to make you laugh, listen to you and make you feel comfortable. My worst friend quality is that I tend to get lost in my projects and emerge from my dark cave a zombie, having neglected to respond to texts for a week... it's up to you if that's a good deal lol.
And now to some things I’m asking of you:
• I’d like to talk with someone in a European time zone
• I’d like to talk to people ages 20-30 years old only
• I’d love to chill on a voice call together at some point so I’d like you to be open to that, but of course we’d text for the most part. I only use Discord for talking.
That's all for now, please send me a message as responding to comments gets a bit wonky. I can't wait to meet you 😄

Yes this is a rant, but it’s probably how most long-term Bedrock players feel. The information is relevant as I have been dealing with these issues on Xbox both next gen and old since I have both. My gf plays on the newer one since she’s the host of our 4 year survival world. I can’t explain all the bugs as I usually have a list of bugs I keep for games I play, but never expected I’d need one for Minecraft til now since I’m just starting to notice a lot of persistent bugs that range from slightly-annoying to game-breaking. Here’s my spiel. Yeah I wrote it when I was angry but it’s filtered.
For PC users, I don’t know why it’s turning my text into a code block despite me retyping it.

 Unpopular request I bet among the devs, but how about, now this might sound wild, the devs actually fix some heavy bugs before adding more new stuff that’s not gonna work right half the time. The shulker box dupe glitch is STILL a thing. Entities with name tags that randomly disappear, and almost EVERY arthropod getting stuck on fences, glass panes, and bamboo; like why devs? How in the world are PANDAS getting stuck on bamboo, and why do most entities(including pandas) have to path-find around bamboo like it’s a whole block wide? More importantly they always get stuck on it, and with it happening to fences too is beyond me because there are mobs that have been in the game from the start that I notice are getting stuck on these thin-type blocks. They definitely messed something up because they fixed it and now it’s back. Minecraft is statistically losing more and more long-term players on Bedrock edition(don’t know how bad Java has gotten, but with how lazy the devs have been, seemingly, I bet it’s bad). I know they need to bring in new players but now vanilla Minecraft is becoming comparable to games like Geometry Dash. Beat it once, done, and never come back. Or make a new world to do it all again but tbh most people don’t do that if their intent is to have one major survival world. For older gen players, they have to deal with stuff like broken chunks or chunks not even loading in, more commonly when using an Elytra. I’ve seen videos of people running and flying into invisible walls making fast ways of travel non-applicable. Would really love to see some improvement to the game, especially since I took a THREE YEAR BREAK and came back to see I could still abuse the s**t out of shulker boxes😂🤦C’mon devs, put that money to some actual good use. It’s like they don’t even have testers. Not only do we the players have to deal with the actual game mechanics, we gotta deal with bs like literal game-breaking bugs. This post is in terms of pure vanilla survival. I don’t even wanna know what add-ons be doing to the game through all of this. Anyways I’d love to hear some opinions on this, or more so, please educate me on why after three years, there are still these half-baked updates? Not even looking forward to new updates now. 

Shopping on Amazon is incredibly convenient, but all those Prime purchases can really add up. While Amazon's prices are already competitive, there are lots of easy ways to save even more money when buying online from the e-commerce giant.
From taking advantage of subscription services to utilizing browser extensions and capitalizing on sales events, these 20 tips and tricks will help you drastically cut your Amazon spending without sacrificing anything.

1. Sign up for Amazon Prime If you shop on Amazon with any regularity, subscribing to Amazon Prime is well worth the $139 annual membership fee. With Prime, you get free 2-day shipping on millions of items plus access to Prime Video, Prime Music, Prime Reading, and other great benefits.
2. Try Prime for Free First Not sure if Prime is right for you? Amazon offers a 30-day free trial so you can test it out first before fully committing. Just be sure to set a calendar reminder before the 30 days is up to avoid getting charged automatically.
3. Get an EBT/Food Stamps Discount If you qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP EBT Food Stamps, WIC, and more, you can get an amazing discount on Prime membership - just $6.99 per month.
4. Use the Amazon Prime Rewards Visa The Amazon Prime Rewards Visa Signature card earns 5% back at Amazon and Whole Foods. There's also a $100 Amazon gift card bonus for signing up. Cash back is redeemed as points that cover future Amazon purchases.
5. Score an Amazon Gift Card Bonus Adding gift cards to your account is an easy way to save money on Amazon. They frequently offer promotional credit when reloading a gift card balance, like $10 free with a $100 reload.
6. Send Amazon eGift Cards to Earn Coins When making a purchase, choose the option to email an Amazon gift card code to yourself. For every gift card email sent, you'll get coin rewards (typically 5% of the card value) through Amazon's Coins rewards program.
7. Earn Rewards with Amazon's Subscribe & Save Amazon's Subscribe & Save service gives you 15% off (plus free shipping) on recurring deliveries for things like household items, pet food, diapers, and vitamins. You can also earn 20% off Subscribe & Save orders that include 5 or more subscriptions in the same month.
8. Join Amazon Family & Save 20% on Diapers/Baby Food For customers with kids, Amazon Family gives you 20% off subscriptions for diapers, baby food, and more through Subscribe & Save. You also get a 15% discount on eligible products from your baby registry.
9. Try Amazon Elements & Amazon Fresh Amazon's private label brands are shockingly affordable. Amazon Elements provides grocery and household essentials at a flat 20% discount over name brands, while Amazon Fresh has great prices on groceries and meal kits.
10. Leverage Amazon Warehouse Discounts Amazon Warehouse is a hidden gem for deeply discounted open-box and pre-owned products. You can find big savings on laptops, tablets, furniture, and more - all covered by Amazon's standard return policy.
11. Price Match Amazon's Competition Amazon's huge product catalog means the prices are generally quite competitive. But if you do find a better deal on the same new, authentic item from a qualifying retailer, Amazon will price match it. Just use the "Product price is lower" link on the listing.
12. Use Amazon Coupons & Promo Codes Don't forget to stack coupons and promo codes on top of Amazon's regular prices. You can find coupons that take 5-20% off a product price or get things like a free smart speaker with purchase. Just clip or enter the codes at checkout.
13. Score Discounts with a .edu Email Address Do you or someone in your family have an active .edu email address from a university? Amazon offers exclusive discounts for students on a range of products with this email. Things like software, music, books, and Amazon Prime are cheaper.
14. Get Amazon Wish Lists Discounts Creating an Amazon wish list (for yourself or for others) makes you eligible for occasional discount offers on those items. Amazon does this to incentivize "shopping the wish list" purchases.
15. Use Cash Back & Rebate Sites Don't leave free cash back on the table. Browser extensions like Rakuten, CouponCabin and store cash back credit cards will earn a percentage back on all Amazon purchases. It takes no effort and the savings stack up fast.
16. Take Advantage of Amazon Prime Day Amazon's annual Prime Day sale event in July is absolutely massive and often beats Black Friday deals. But you need an active Prime membership to access these rock-bottom prices.
17. Try Before you Subscribe with HBO Free Trials Many Amazon services like HBO, Kindle Unlimited, and Amazon Music Unlimited offer extended 30-day free trials. Don't forget to take advantage and stack these on top of your Prime membership perks.
18. Purchase Amazon Renewed Products Products listed as "Amazon Renewed" are refurbished and repackaged at a big discount with the same 90-day supplier warranty as new purchases. This includes smartphones, laptops, TVs, and home appliances.
19. Use an Amazon Cash Reload Code Look out for promotions where you receive a percentage bonus when loading funds into your Amazon account balance using a reload code. These offers can drive the effective cost of purchases 5-20% lower.
20. Browse the Amazon Outlet + "Bargain Bin" Hidden deep within Amazon are sections like the "Bargain Bin" and Amazon Outlet where you can find overstocked items, buyer remorse returns, and more at clearance pricing. Worth digging through if you're patient!

There you have it - 20 easy ways to save a ton of money the next time you shop on Amazon.com. Get strategic about combining deals, promotions, discounts and cash back rewards. Those small savings add up to keep so much more money in your pocket over time.

Hey, group! I just got my ghsv1 diagnosis a couple days ago, my symptoms were mild and I thought hormonal related (fissuring around the vaginal entrance). Turns out they weren’t and my igg blood test was high/positive for hsv1. I was swabbed and am waiting on that follow up with my gyn. This is a huge shock for me because I never had symptoms before. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for the past 20+ years and we’ve been faithful. He has no symptoms of anything at all. I know he should probably get tested, so I will encourage that for him. I’ve been a mess, crying, depressed, afraid to touch him or kiss him, terrified at the idea of having sex with him. Don’t even want to share a drink with him. I know I need a lot of education but my head hasn’t been in the best of space, and the internet has been kind of confusing (things like the virus can live for up to 4 hrs on surfaces but is only spread thru skin to skin…). My f/u isn’t until the 21st, so I figured I could come here and speak with real people dealing with this, because I need help. I’m spiraling and I want to get a handle on this. We live together, so I’m really struggling with how to keep him safe. Can we share a bar of soap? A glass of water? Should I go on meds like valtrex for the rest of my life? Can I kiss him goodbye? I feel dirty even hugging him. His father is coming up to visit this summer, too, so I am also freaking out over that….i just don’t know what to do and wish this wasn’t happening to me. I am sorry this is long and winded and I thank you all in advance for any replies.

Let’s begin:
The United States of America Isint a singular centralized government or entity, but rather a diverse set of special interest groups with different abilities. For example, there exists countless special access programs, rich guys with money, and a diverse set of special interests. Neither is the whole monolith that certain people make the USA out to be. Including the CIA, For there remains several factionalized groups within the United States government that operate under their own leaderships and objectives. Each groups containing their own diverse set of special interests.
For example, JSOC conducts international operations in places like South America and Europe where human and cattle mutilations occur. These are the black vehicles and soldiers that clean up the mess caused by negative NHI. They posses electromagnetic weaponry that are capable of effectively shutting down NHI craft. They are not gods so Stop idolizing them, advanced tech or not, it still needs to apply to the laws of physics. These are not friendly NHI, Mutilations of corpses and human body parts have been found inside some craft. Some of the ETs carrying that out, are described look similar to the ones from the varghinia incident in Brazil. (Devilish, can run really fast). There’s also the Mage Brazil incident that was covered up in real time as it happened, where black military soldiers shot down a spacecraft utilizing a directed energy weapon before tracking it down to execute the living NHI on the ground.
Speaking of the negative NHI, abduction stories (and just rumors) suggest that hybrids are engineered to feel a connection to their creators and are often put into positions of power, to sow division within a government if it fails to centralize itself in efforts to fight against that. Agents of the CIA, bought over by rich people, would start coups of South America against democratically elected socialist leaders as an effort from negative NHI to prevent any capable nation of developing near their main base of operation. That, and to prevent the ruling class from loosing profits in South American businesses they owned.
This is the full nature of what western imperialism was at the time. It consists of individuals manipulated and consumed by the highest form of greed, devoid of respect for human life.
The negative NHI are interested in causing conflict within humanity so we fail to understand the real nature of what is occurring on our planet. Human body parts have been found inside human craft and I believe there was a rumor about a living human nervous system inside a tank of liquid being kept alive. Imagine the simulations or experiments that can be done with that, it is the highest form of horror imaginable.
However, With industrial technology we can fight back. Especially if we control the means of how that technology is produced.
“Beware of the bearers of false gifts and their broken promises”
Take the lady of Fatima apparition for example, how the children ended up with extreme thirst and a saucer being spotted above the clouds. The same phenomenon of thirst happens when you get into deep meditation.
there was no reason for aliens to land in Zimbabwe during the ariel school encounter except for when they came down to warn against technology. When they are in fact the ones creating loyal hybrids to mess up our planet so we focus on fixing our problems than what the negative NHIs are doing They are gaslighters of ultimate deception this negative group shall not be trusted.
&
The lady of Fatima apparition (not a real Angel) warned the Shepard children that the Christian nations of the earth had to rise up against the Soviet Union for their “atheistic communist revolution”. An example of the phenomenon breeding further antagonism.
There’s no war but class war. Humanity versus those who wish to rule over us (the anti humans).
No matter the race, sex or nation. Humanity must remain unified under the proletariat.
A crop circle depicting three dots and a tall gray had a message encoded that said:
"Beware the bearers of FALSE GIFTS & their BROKEN PROMISES. Much PAIN but still time. BELIEVE. There is GOOD out there. We oppose DECEPTION. Conduit CLOSING."
Our politicians are so dysfunctional that sometimes I feel like they’re not even mostly humans to begin with; in addition to willfully or subconsciously trying to dismantle our civilization for the worse.
It’s like they’re just evil, anti humans.
Humans good. But the current economic system that is Capitalism, as anyone who’s actually studied it, will understand how it strips our humanity. The pursuit of money means everyone is forced to fuck over the next person they meet. Its very hard to remain a nice person when other people are constantly trying to screw you over for cash.
Sources and documentaries for human and animal mutilations:
https://youtu.be/y7ea7BWal7E?si=97V9YwkwAI17EB6V
https://youtu.be/B7K3WP2RQFY?si=t4IEi4weAaxOGeSU
https://youtu.be/2yKJh9f7y0w?si=xfg3Cll2Wr3Ra2x5
Ross coulthart and the dark side:
https://youtu.be/IYIlYPBZPnU?si=krVLpZVS-N2QUI48
NATO, DOE, and DOE connections:
https://youtu.be/IFpbayalZcI?si=cUa248qZxUyT5BiI

I now see that my [36F] veteran brother [39M] is an alcoholic. How do I help him?
He served in Iraq and Afghanistan, did 3 tours in the infantry and as a sniper. He's seen some shit. He was pretty messed up when he came home around 2007ish and my parents got him therapy and EMDR, which helped. We've never been close and I wouldn't say either of us are close with our parents. Emotions weren't really "allowed" and we grew up to be closed off people. With therapy in my marriage, I've certainly come a long way and am more open and communicative now, but my brother has only become more closed off. I'm really concerned for him and I think he has a pretty serious addiction to alcohol. I don't want to intrude on his life but I also don't want him to drink himself to death, and I worry that's what he's doing.
He goes to a local bar nearly every day. Our family has an app where we can all share our location. This is how I know. He has a good job as a firefighter. He's married with a teen son. On the rare occasion I do see him, he brings a cooler with his drinks. He never gets obviously drunk or obnoxious. He's always been able to remain collected even when he was pretty smashed. But now, it seems like a daily habit. I tried calling him to see if I could meet him for a drink just to start establishing some time together because I saw he was at his bar. But he didn't answer my call. He's known to be a flake when anyone tries to make plans with him and he just mostly avoids everyone.
I know you can't help people when they don't want help. I don't want to pressure, lecture, or chastise him. But I can't sit idly by while my brother slowly kills himself. My family is oblivious to his problem and I doubt any of them will intervene even if they knew. My brother has been through a lot. My heart hurts and he's all I think about lately. Reddit, where do I even begin to help him?

Join a tech assessment and receive $150 for your participation. I'm recruiting for a study conducted by uTest at an in-person location in Midtown Manhattan. You'll evaluate a wrist device while performing straightforward tasks.
*** All individuals are eligible, provided they haven't previously participated in this study. The study lasts up to 3 hours, and you'll be compensated $150 for your time, with payments made through virtual Visa gift card. To get more details or sign up, kindly complete this brief form.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfsLWUgR4Nw4WpqGnd3ZTge7f_hQeHfDMk7I90aQrRRDFfH_g/viewform?usp=sf_link

So I ‘28F’ have these two close friends: one is my best friend, ‘28F’ and the other is also a close friend, ‘26F’ ad I have been individually friends with them both for 3+ years. I recently introduced them to eachother, and I started a group chat with the three of us, and recently they’ve started texting and hanging out without me and stopped texting our group chat.
The most recent occurrence happened this weekend that really hurt my feelings.
Me and my best friend live in the city, and the other friend lives in the area where I work, which is about 30 mins away from the city. On Friday, they went to dinner together down the street from where i work and didn’t invite me.
It’s common for me to hang out with them individually, especially my best friend, because we live close to eachother and they were both my friends individually outside of this group.
I introduced them to eachother, and they’ve only known eachother for a few months, and to be honest, this dinner felt targeted towards me.
Some context: my best friend and I have had some issues lately that I’ve needed to confront her on. She responded well and apologized, but the dynamic has definitely changed between us the last couple months. I recently started dating someone new, and I feel like she’s become jealous and started acting competitive with me ever since I started dating him. She’s come on to my boyfriend and acted very inappropriate and I had to confront her and tell her her behavior was disrespectful and she was not acting like a girl’s girl. She has also been changing narratives and been messing around in my circles behind my back, talking shit about my people to my face: including this friend she went out with in Friday, as almost a way to bait me into saying something negative about them. She told me this friend was annoying and self absorbed, and she hated talking to her and she has to mentally prepare herself to respond to her texts. But then she is talking to them all individually and trying to hang out with them etc. behind my back. She’s been trying to poach the people in my life, including my boyfriend. I’ve been making a point to hang out with her a lot, because I don’t want her to feel like my new relationship will get in the way of hers and my friendship, I still see her more than I see my boyfriend. But I feel she’s taking the fact that found someone great who really likes me and she’s still single, as a direct hit to her ego. It’s almost like she doesn’t understand how someone could like me more than her and so she’s trying to steal my friends and flirt with my boyfriend to prove something to herself. She responded well every time I confronted the issues and apologized, and played dumb like she didn’t know what she was doing. And even though on the surface, we’re still friends and hang out and have made up, she’s been doing a lot of things behind my back still and I don’t trust her anymore, and the dinner Friday felt like a direct hit at me.
I tried to open up a little about some of the issues to my other friend, who went to dinner with my best friend on Friday, and she kinda plead the 5th and said she didn’t want to gossip. Which first of all, I understand, but I’ve always talked to her about drama in my life and she’s never had an issue with it and loves the tea. And second of all, I was approaching the topic like I was hurt by my best friends actions and wanted advice. This girl has been my friend for years before I introduced her to my best friend and she didn’t care to hear it and I felt like she was choosing someone she just met over me.
I don’t have an issue with them hanging out in circumstances where it doesn’t make sense for me to join, but in this case, it was literally down the street from where I work everyday and this was a Friday, so I would’ve been in the area, and the invite was not extended. With everything else that’s been going on the last couple months, it felt targeted and I feel hurt that my best friend is acting like this, and frankly I also feel hurt by my other friend who joined in on excluding me.
I’ve kinda distanced myself from them the last couple days to work through my emotions and understand why it hurt me so much, and make sure I’m not overreacting and say something I’ll regret to them. But I’d love advice on the best way to deal with this and see other people’s opinions?