Gta 4 invincibility cheat
The RDAD War Room
2014.03.22 19:23 agentfox The RDAD War Room
This is the place for the RDAD Commissioners and Mods to discuss issues behind closed doors.
2024.05.15 18:56 karlsson1000 karlssonSMP [vanilla] [SMP] {Java} {Season 2} {whitelist} {18+}
Welcome to karlssonSMP! ✨
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
submitted by karlsson1000 to MinecraftServer [link] [comments]
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
- Multiplayersleep
- Hermitcraft inspired
- Shopping district
- Squaremap
- Respectful and fun members
- 10k World border
- Map reset every 6 months
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
2024.05.15 18:56 karlsson1000 karlssonSMP [vanilla] [SMP] {Java} {Season 2} {whitelist} {18+}
Welcome to karlssonSMP! ✨
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
submitted by karlsson1000 to MCVanillaServers [link] [comments]
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
- Multiplayersleep
- Hermitcraft inspired
- Shopping district
- Squaremap
- Respectful and fun members
- 10k World border
- Map reset every 6 months
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
2024.05.15 18:55 karlsson1000 karlssonSMP [vanilla] [SMP] {Java} {Season 2} {whitelist} {18+}
Welcome to karlssonSMP! ✨
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
submitted by karlsson1000 to MinecraftSMPs [link] [comments]
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
- Multiplayersleep
- Hermitcraft inspired
- Shopping district
- Squaremap
- Respectful and fun members
- 10k World border
- Map reset every 6 months
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
2024.05.15 18:55 karlsson1000 karlssonSMP [vanilla] [SMP] {Java} {Season 2} {whitelist} {18+}
Welcome to karlssonSMP! ✨
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
submitted by karlsson1000 to MinecraftServerFinder [link] [comments]
What started in late August 2023 by a couple of friends who decided to invite new players turned into a fun and small community of like-minded players, our goal is to make it feel like you're just playing with friends.
At karlssonSMP our priority is to maintain the essence of the original game by preserving its vanilla aspects. However, we've implemented a few quality of life datapacks to ensure a smoother experience for all players.
⏩ Apply here: Discord
⚔️ Enhanced Gameplay: Experience the best of both worlds with vanilla gameplay complemented by carefully selected quality-of-life datapacks. Dive into a seamless gaming experience with features like custom armor statues for personalized aesthetics, mini blocks for intricate builds, anti-grief measures against creepers and endermen, player head drops upon vanquishing opponents, their heads will now serve as trophies and more mob heads where mobs have a chance of dropping their head.
- Multiplayersleep
- Hermitcraft inspired
- Shopping district
- Squaremap
- Respectful and fun members
- 10k World border
- Map reset every 6 months
🚫 Zero Tolerance Policy: Enjoy a safe and fair gaming environment with strict rules against stealing, cheating, and griefing. Our community upholds integrity and respect for all players, ensuring a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
🔒 Server Details: Our Java Edition server runs on PaperMC and is located in Europe, ensuring a smooth gameplay. Currently, we are on version 1.20.4.
⏩ How to Join:
Applying is easy! Simply hop onto our discord server and submit your application. Join a community of like-minded gamers and become part of the karlssonSMP family. We welcome all players, from casual builders to hardcore survivalists.
See you on karlssonSMP! ✨🚀
2024.05.15 18:53 chasconocaso We desperately need region lock, prohibiting profile hiding, and a meaningful in-game report tool.
Last night me (700 hrs ~) with two friends (one 400 hrs~ and a newbie at >100 hrs) were playing bounty as a 4* trio (our new player friend was debuting his first 4 stars ever) and got paired against scumge clan members. To those on the know i don't need to explain what's the problem there, but to those who don't know, these guys are a problematic clan, in the likes of YS, with a history of cheating, exploiting and being toxic basement dwellers in general.
We are a humble trio of student workers in SOUTH AMERICA, who won't complain about being paired against better players in the most part, but being paired against the sweatiest, most suspicious 5-6 stars clan in Hunt, who aren't even in our region is dumb. Really dumb.
I get that the playerbase isn't that big. But how is this understandable? How does feeding new players to the no lifers help grow the community?
submitted by chasconocaso to HuntShowdown [link] [comments]
We are a humble trio of student workers in SOUTH AMERICA, who won't complain about being paired against better players in the most part, but being paired against the sweatiest, most suspicious 5-6 stars clan in Hunt, who aren't even in our region is dumb. Really dumb.
I get that the playerbase isn't that big. But how is this understandable? How does feeding new players to the no lifers help grow the community?
2024.05.15 18:51 AncientCamel7611 i think i fell out of love with my bf of 1.3 years
TOO LENGTHY STORY BUT I WOULD BE SUPER GRATEFUL IF YALL CARED TO TAKE UR TIME OUT AND HELPED ME OUT OF THIS:(
idk how to interpret what my heart is going thro atm but all what i feel is pure baffleness and anxiety. im so stuck that leaving him or even thinking about him is making me feel guilty about something ive never done and thoughts like he loves me tirelessly so how would he live without me? i just wanna pour all my love to him even if im not at peace and always feeling like all what is happening is wrong, wrong for my mental health and my personal wellbeing as i think i would no longer be able to give him love as heartfully as i did.
its just am at a point in which him expressing his love for me, his random ilys or some cheesy goofy talks arent giving me the same happiness it used to give in the past. there are multiple reasons which mightve led to this one of which includes him having girls on his sc even after controlling my whole uni life and keeping me away from boys, i literally broke friendships avoided people and being a bad character in my life just for the sake of us but when i discovered him doing something which was firslty not allowed to me and secondly it was what i didnt felt right about as every rls has dynamics and it just didnt matched ours.
the main issue which gave us a rough patch was when we were on my bday lunch date, my intuition was sensing something is happening fishy behind my back since our last 2 3 meetups as he always refused to give his phone in my hands even tho so far i didnt found something that if he is cheating on me but whatever it is its still so strange not to share with me about his snapchat female friends i wouldve been angry if he wouldve told me but later i wouldve accepted and wouldve asked for the sam permission which i did in our biggest fight last week. in the samefight last week he gave a reasoning that i didnt told u cause 'i didnt wanted to have male friends too blah blah' why tf he was having girls? even tho the vague explanation he gave me was just like we dont even talk and they re just friends. i dont even open their snaps, they were present before you and he even sweared upon it that he got nothing with 'em and that date day after i saw everything was ruined and the only thing i was wanting at that stage was my 2 female friends and their shoulder to cry upon as honestly my lord knows how much of uni life i sacrificed for him and totally alienated yet stopped myself from doing things he didnt wanted me to. that same day he promised me that he would block yet remove all of them but in the last meetup which was on this saturday, i asked him to see his sc all cause of my strong intuition as i had a gut feeling that things are still the same, he firstly hesitated a bit and started becoming goofy just to stop me but nvm i managed to see his sc which he showed himself whilst the phone was still in his hands and thats the point which made me sus and i wasnt satisfied then i managed to ask him to see for the second time and he with his strange guilty-felt behaviour showed me, i then immediately clicked on search bar as convos can be cleared frm mainscreen so yea there i found bunch of girls in that bsf list and this broke me hella hard and at that v moment i wasnt able to accept it as he himself said that theyre removed but nvm they werent which i discovered after he left as at that time i had initiall shock and he was about to leave so yea-
one more thing to add that i saw more than 2 girls there but he denied means he partially accepted and said theyre the same people on his insta and were only 2 but as far as i rmr they werent and yk the fact that he was so proud and wasnt accepting until i told him to screenshare on which he tried to hide but i caught him eventually as he scrolled so fast and said see theres noone and stopped the screen but still as God wanted me to show me so after he screen shared again, one person was left to be unfriended which he might missed and thats how i caught him.
the question is my tears doesnt matter? and him who actually accepted his mistake at the first encounter time and was literally like that 'ik im wrong ishouldnt have done it, i shouldve known how much it would hurt u' but still repeating the same thing and letting them there is something which didnt satisfied me till this date as are those girls that much imp? am i not the priority? my feelings or anything? still while writing this im like he loves me endlessly and im literally his bestie his partner and just everything so how can i leave him but tbvh since then im not feeling happy and its just my heart isnt permitting me.. fb searches/visits of 3 4 girls profiles etc etc that has been happening like multiple times upon which he never admitted rather always putted me in guilt that i dont trust him... even after our fight which was presumbly the last one as i had enough of his toxic behaviour(didnt knew it was until i shared everything with bestie) which idk is masculinity or claiming behaviour but ive always loved that and never even for once humiliated or said to him that im interrogating him or being so rude when angry or in guilt ive always been the one who said sorry as i want to save us all cause he loved me so much and we both did alot but idk after this above issue i lost trust and i was hurt to the core as it hurt me so bad and he still managed to manipulate me and i didnt left. but for the first time ever in that fight i had my dominancy as he was guilty of something and i was expressing all what i had even tho im still not satisfied after his reasonings and the conclusion we made after that fight was that i made him promise me that he needs to proove himself and win my trust back again which he promised and told dont leave me and was later crying on vc which broke me as he told at that same time his father scolded him so bad and he was so weak at that moment that i felt pity yet the urge to fly over to him and calm him down as he was like im not a good bf nor a son. its just idk what im writing but i love him sfm that i just cant even if it involves sacrificing my mental health as in the past i was being tortured with words hella alot if boys even came in my convo or slightly involved in my uni life and the end was always me crying hard and loosing sleep. iwas in the circle then but now as i managed to see frm outside ,after i told it all to my soulsis my bestie, it feels so unfair.
even to mention that day's timeline was him crying, begging me to stay, having that anxiety attack after thinking his life without me all whilst being in my arms when i told him that maybe im loosing feelings for him (whose reason was the words he said to me when we had a fight after discovering that fb thing which he promised he wont do again.) and that sameday i discovered that sc thing for the second time and us having a big argument abt it as i asked for space etc but he was later able to convince me not to leave.
then certain re-ignition yet being head over heels over someone in my uni whom i liked as a person he was since last 6 months but i never had that strong feeling of love (idk what it is but my bestfr says that its love) until lastweek out of nowhere which made my situation super worse maybe it was after the prayer i made to Lord that give me whats better for me so maybe he paved ways and gave signs as since then things are developing between him and i and ik he loves me too but at the same time we both are hiding and unable to accept as he got goals maybe and im loyal to my bf... we never even for once flirted but its just the eyes and heart and how genuinely i speak about him which changes it all, the fact that we dont even have interaction as much as i always limited it till studies and he is a very gentleman type of person so yea i hope it makes sense even my bestfr says the same that maybe he is the one u deserve but nvm i cantt leave my bf and it would be hella hard as he is highly dependent on my love which i want to give yet i cant even imagine my life without him and he literally knows everything about me, we planned our eveything together, his whole fam knows and its been a long time we planned a long term thing but most importantly i dont want to hurt anyone thro my existence neither him nor that uni boy. thats literally the last thing i want and now im stuck condemning myself that its all my fault to feel this way about that uni boy and still loving my bf.
and due to some sort of developments and the convo with that uni boy is getting bit more comfortable, my besties adviced me that they think i should rather let him know that im in a rls otherwise he would get hurt but what if he judged my character and stopped talking to me afterwards? but nvm my friend told me to avoid him and whenever our convo goes out of studies i shouldnt.
im super stuck to what to do and my heart isnt at peace even its so hard to reply to his love txts and im feeling literally so bad about it as im constantly having that urge to cry whenever we talk, which is like alot yk as we're always on vcs or talking thro txts, cause he loves me and now i lost my feelings for him its just idk what my heart wants, im such a bad human a bad gf and ijdk what in this fucking world my heart wants me to do, maybe i would never be happy in my life ever.
ill appreciate that u made it till here, i got very bad explanatory skills but i hope atleast u mightve got an idea of my situation and i would be super glad to yalls advices as im literally suffering so bad. i need ur help and how to cope up with this situation.
PLS MENTION ME IN UR PRAYERS:)
ILY GUYSS
submitted by AncientCamel7611 to offmychest [link] [comments]
idk how to interpret what my heart is going thro atm but all what i feel is pure baffleness and anxiety. im so stuck that leaving him or even thinking about him is making me feel guilty about something ive never done and thoughts like he loves me tirelessly so how would he live without me? i just wanna pour all my love to him even if im not at peace and always feeling like all what is happening is wrong, wrong for my mental health and my personal wellbeing as i think i would no longer be able to give him love as heartfully as i did.
its just am at a point in which him expressing his love for me, his random ilys or some cheesy goofy talks arent giving me the same happiness it used to give in the past. there are multiple reasons which mightve led to this one of which includes him having girls on his sc even after controlling my whole uni life and keeping me away from boys, i literally broke friendships avoided people and being a bad character in my life just for the sake of us but when i discovered him doing something which was firslty not allowed to me and secondly it was what i didnt felt right about as every rls has dynamics and it just didnt matched ours.
the main issue which gave us a rough patch was when we were on my bday lunch date, my intuition was sensing something is happening fishy behind my back since our last 2 3 meetups as he always refused to give his phone in my hands even tho so far i didnt found something that if he is cheating on me but whatever it is its still so strange not to share with me about his snapchat female friends i wouldve been angry if he wouldve told me but later i wouldve accepted and wouldve asked for the sam permission which i did in our biggest fight last week. in the samefight last week he gave a reasoning that i didnt told u cause 'i didnt wanted to have male friends too blah blah' why tf he was having girls? even tho the vague explanation he gave me was just like we dont even talk and they re just friends. i dont even open their snaps, they were present before you and he even sweared upon it that he got nothing with 'em and that date day after i saw everything was ruined and the only thing i was wanting at that stage was my 2 female friends and their shoulder to cry upon as honestly my lord knows how much of uni life i sacrificed for him and totally alienated yet stopped myself from doing things he didnt wanted me to. that same day he promised me that he would block yet remove all of them but in the last meetup which was on this saturday, i asked him to see his sc all cause of my strong intuition as i had a gut feeling that things are still the same, he firstly hesitated a bit and started becoming goofy just to stop me but nvm i managed to see his sc which he showed himself whilst the phone was still in his hands and thats the point which made me sus and i wasnt satisfied then i managed to ask him to see for the second time and he with his strange guilty-felt behaviour showed me, i then immediately clicked on search bar as convos can be cleared frm mainscreen so yea there i found bunch of girls in that bsf list and this broke me hella hard and at that v moment i wasnt able to accept it as he himself said that theyre removed but nvm they werent which i discovered after he left as at that time i had initiall shock and he was about to leave so yea-
one more thing to add that i saw more than 2 girls there but he denied means he partially accepted and said theyre the same people on his insta and were only 2 but as far as i rmr they werent and yk the fact that he was so proud and wasnt accepting until i told him to screenshare on which he tried to hide but i caught him eventually as he scrolled so fast and said see theres noone and stopped the screen but still as God wanted me to show me so after he screen shared again, one person was left to be unfriended which he might missed and thats how i caught him.
the question is my tears doesnt matter? and him who actually accepted his mistake at the first encounter time and was literally like that 'ik im wrong ishouldnt have done it, i shouldve known how much it would hurt u' but still repeating the same thing and letting them there is something which didnt satisfied me till this date as are those girls that much imp? am i not the priority? my feelings or anything? still while writing this im like he loves me endlessly and im literally his bestie his partner and just everything so how can i leave him but tbvh since then im not feeling happy and its just my heart isnt permitting me.. fb searches/visits of 3 4 girls profiles etc etc that has been happening like multiple times upon which he never admitted rather always putted me in guilt that i dont trust him... even after our fight which was presumbly the last one as i had enough of his toxic behaviour(didnt knew it was until i shared everything with bestie) which idk is masculinity or claiming behaviour but ive always loved that and never even for once humiliated or said to him that im interrogating him or being so rude when angry or in guilt ive always been the one who said sorry as i want to save us all cause he loved me so much and we both did alot but idk after this above issue i lost trust and i was hurt to the core as it hurt me so bad and he still managed to manipulate me and i didnt left. but for the first time ever in that fight i had my dominancy as he was guilty of something and i was expressing all what i had even tho im still not satisfied after his reasonings and the conclusion we made after that fight was that i made him promise me that he needs to proove himself and win my trust back again which he promised and told dont leave me and was later crying on vc which broke me as he told at that same time his father scolded him so bad and he was so weak at that moment that i felt pity yet the urge to fly over to him and calm him down as he was like im not a good bf nor a son. its just idk what im writing but i love him sfm that i just cant even if it involves sacrificing my mental health as in the past i was being tortured with words hella alot if boys even came in my convo or slightly involved in my uni life and the end was always me crying hard and loosing sleep. iwas in the circle then but now as i managed to see frm outside ,after i told it all to my soulsis my bestie, it feels so unfair.
even to mention that day's timeline was him crying, begging me to stay, having that anxiety attack after thinking his life without me all whilst being in my arms when i told him that maybe im loosing feelings for him (whose reason was the words he said to me when we had a fight after discovering that fb thing which he promised he wont do again.) and that sameday i discovered that sc thing for the second time and us having a big argument abt it as i asked for space etc but he was later able to convince me not to leave.
then certain re-ignition yet being head over heels over someone in my uni whom i liked as a person he was since last 6 months but i never had that strong feeling of love (idk what it is but my bestfr says that its love) until lastweek out of nowhere which made my situation super worse maybe it was after the prayer i made to Lord that give me whats better for me so maybe he paved ways and gave signs as since then things are developing between him and i and ik he loves me too but at the same time we both are hiding and unable to accept as he got goals maybe and im loyal to my bf... we never even for once flirted but its just the eyes and heart and how genuinely i speak about him which changes it all, the fact that we dont even have interaction as much as i always limited it till studies and he is a very gentleman type of person so yea i hope it makes sense even my bestfr says the same that maybe he is the one u deserve but nvm i cantt leave my bf and it would be hella hard as he is highly dependent on my love which i want to give yet i cant even imagine my life without him and he literally knows everything about me, we planned our eveything together, his whole fam knows and its been a long time we planned a long term thing but most importantly i dont want to hurt anyone thro my existence neither him nor that uni boy. thats literally the last thing i want and now im stuck condemning myself that its all my fault to feel this way about that uni boy and still loving my bf.
and due to some sort of developments and the convo with that uni boy is getting bit more comfortable, my besties adviced me that they think i should rather let him know that im in a rls otherwise he would get hurt but what if he judged my character and stopped talking to me afterwards? but nvm my friend told me to avoid him and whenever our convo goes out of studies i shouldnt.
im super stuck to what to do and my heart isnt at peace even its so hard to reply to his love txts and im feeling literally so bad about it as im constantly having that urge to cry whenever we talk, which is like alot yk as we're always on vcs or talking thro txts, cause he loves me and now i lost my feelings for him its just idk what my heart wants, im such a bad human a bad gf and ijdk what in this fucking world my heart wants me to do, maybe i would never be happy in my life ever.
ill appreciate that u made it till here, i got very bad explanatory skills but i hope atleast u mightve got an idea of my situation and i would be super glad to yalls advices as im literally suffering so bad. i need ur help and how to cope up with this situation.
PLS MENTION ME IN UR PRAYERS:)
ILY GUYSS
2024.05.15 18:50 Pozay Shoutout to Vanguard !
Just wanted to say shoutout to Riot, since Vanguard patch, we have had a more than 12% reduction in total number of ranked game played in a single patch (a end of split patch nonetheless), and since only ~0.03% of people have problems with Vanguard, this mean that this reduction can only be attributed to Riot banning the 12% part of the community which was cheating (and probably way more, because end of split patch usually have an increase in number of ranked played).
Big shoutout to Riot for that, and I'm hoping for even bigger decrease in number of ranked games played in 4 patches !
Games played in 14.9 (Gold+) : 58,214,413
Games played in 14.8 (Gold+) : 65,207,566
Games played in 14.7 (Gold+) : 64,908,393
Games played in 14.6 (Gold+) : 66,048,697
Source : https://lolalytics.com/
submitted by Pozay to riotgames [link] [comments]
Big shoutout to Riot for that, and I'm hoping for even bigger decrease in number of ranked games played in 4 patches !
Games played in 14.9 (Gold+) : 58,214,413
Games played in 14.8 (Gold+) : 65,207,566
Games played in 14.7 (Gold+) : 64,908,393
Games played in 14.6 (Gold+) : 66,048,697
Source : https://lolalytics.com/
2024.05.15 18:44 Haunting_Athlete_457 Wake Foamie 5’0” Review
Last year I was looking to purchase my first surf board after using our boat club boards for a few months.
I looked for reviews on the Liquid Force wake foamie but found very little. Mainly sponsored riders of liquid force.
Last July I bought a Fish 5’0” after thinking about it for way too long. Now that I’ve ridden it for several months I figured I’d share my thoughts as some average dude.
I learned to surf in the ocean on foam top boards, which is why I was looking at them in the first place. I wondered if there was the same thing for wake surfing and found this lineup.
I’m 5’11” and 180 lbs. My wife is 5’4” and 120ish. I mention that because we have different opinions.
Pros: - I find it incredibly easy to ride as a larger human. A comment from a buddy who has been wake surfing for years: “This thing is like cheating” - it has a lot of volume and is very stable, even in rough water. I find it relatively fast for just cruising behind the boat. Stock fins are huge - I think they are 5.5 or 6. - All of my larger friends have been able to get up and stay in the wave without the rope - it’s indestructible (so far), which is what I was going for. - The lack of traction pads is great. No more dealing with pealing pads. I haven’t waxed this but I suppose you could.
Cons: - The 5’0” is too big for my wife and smaller riders to maneuver. It is not very turning friendly in general. I wish I’d gone with the 4’8” version. - It’s heavy. I think it’s 2x as heavy as my P5 carbon board. - it does not fit in the board racks of our Axis boats. I can’t comment on other boat brands, but it’s annoying it has to take up space in the boat when not being ridden. - the fins are not great - this is a cheap easy fix though. I am going to try a stiffer, smaller fin this weekend and see how it rides.
I’ve ridden a few beginner glassed boards in a similar size from Hyperlite and Liquid Force. Overall, I prefer the wake foamie but it’s probably just personal preference. Even with nicer boards I still take the foamie out - it’s just a ton of fun in my opinion. I’d buy it again but probably in the 4’8”.
I’m curious to hear if others have ridden these or have opinions.
submitted by Haunting_Athlete_457 to Wake [link] [comments]
I looked for reviews on the Liquid Force wake foamie but found very little. Mainly sponsored riders of liquid force.
Last July I bought a Fish 5’0” after thinking about it for way too long. Now that I’ve ridden it for several months I figured I’d share my thoughts as some average dude.
I learned to surf in the ocean on foam top boards, which is why I was looking at them in the first place. I wondered if there was the same thing for wake surfing and found this lineup.
I’m 5’11” and 180 lbs. My wife is 5’4” and 120ish. I mention that because we have different opinions.
Pros: - I find it incredibly easy to ride as a larger human. A comment from a buddy who has been wake surfing for years: “This thing is like cheating” - it has a lot of volume and is very stable, even in rough water. I find it relatively fast for just cruising behind the boat. Stock fins are huge - I think they are 5.5 or 6. - All of my larger friends have been able to get up and stay in the wave without the rope - it’s indestructible (so far), which is what I was going for. - The lack of traction pads is great. No more dealing with pealing pads. I haven’t waxed this but I suppose you could.
Cons: - The 5’0” is too big for my wife and smaller riders to maneuver. It is not very turning friendly in general. I wish I’d gone with the 4’8” version. - It’s heavy. I think it’s 2x as heavy as my P5 carbon board. - it does not fit in the board racks of our Axis boats. I can’t comment on other boat brands, but it’s annoying it has to take up space in the boat when not being ridden. - the fins are not great - this is a cheap easy fix though. I am going to try a stiffer, smaller fin this weekend and see how it rides.
I’ve ridden a few beginner glassed boards in a similar size from Hyperlite and Liquid Force. Overall, I prefer the wake foamie but it’s probably just personal preference. Even with nicer boards I still take the foamie out - it’s just a ton of fun in my opinion. I’d buy it again but probably in the 4’8”.
I’m curious to hear if others have ridden these or have opinions.
2024.05.15 18:40 Difficult-Charge5510 Book’s similar to “I Am A Creep” PLEASE!!
Omg I read I Am A Creep by Jaimie Roberts and I’m obsessed! The plot and the spice was amazing. They both are bat shit crazy and the step dad aspect is just chefs kiss 🤤.
Tropes I enjoy: Contemporary, suspense, abuse, non con/dub con, morally black mmc, innocent FMC, enemies to lovers, cheating, age gap, mafia, rich hero, blackmail… the list goes on. All these things aren’t necessary in one book though ☺️ Spice level I prefer: 4-5 🌶️
NO: fantasy, paranormal, RH etc.
I have NO triggers
submitted by Difficult-Charge5510 to DarkRomance [link] [comments]
Tropes I enjoy: Contemporary, suspense, abuse, non con/dub con, morally black mmc, innocent FMC, enemies to lovers, cheating, age gap, mafia, rich hero, blackmail… the list goes on. All these things aren’t necessary in one book though ☺️ Spice level I prefer: 4-5 🌶️
NO: fantasy, paranormal, RH etc.
I have NO triggers
2024.05.15 18:39 Foreign_Staff_238 Need help with negative thoughts.
I've been in a real dark place lately so I need some other perspectives.
I follow several groups on reddit regarding infidelity. I have also read the books and have (had) an IC. All of these sources have made me start to question everything. So many people are being betrayed and so many people are betraying that it makes me wonder... Are those the only options? Are you either the cheater or the cheated?
For background, I only had 4 relationships before my WW. The longest one before my 23 year marriage was 6 months. 2 of those 4 relationships ended because of cheating by my partner. My mother cheated on my father. Needless to say, I have my fair share of experience with infidelity. I'm 57 days past DDay now and because my cheater of a wife can't or won't give me answers, I've been contemplating other things.
For one thing, I setup a revenge affair. I planned out a physical encounter with someone. I even went as far as to show up and talk. The second there was physical contact (she touched my hand) I immediately knew it was wrong and I found the most polite way to leave (and yes, i did come clean to my WW). This experience made me realize that I don't have the capacity to cheat the way others do. I can't override that voice in my head that tells me right from wrong, no matter how justified I feel.
So, this made me think that some people are wired to cheat and some aren't. Some people are just so damn selfcentered that the only thing that ever does or will matter to them is themselves. The rest of us poor sucker's with a conscience are just tools for their gratification. As soon as they no longer get what they want from us, the go get it from the next poor sucker. Their like emotional vampires.
This line of thinking has lead me to believe that I'd be better off alone for the rest of my life. If people like me are just prey for users, then why do I want to keep putting myself through this. My wife's selfish actions, manipulations, and lack of morality are fully transparent to me now. I can look back and see every time she manipulated me through guilt. Why am I only capable of seeing it in hindsight?
I see myself going through this again and again, regardless of who I might be with, so why bother being with anyone? I think that loneliness would be far less painful than living through infidelity for a 4th time.
submitted by Foreign_Staff_238 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
I follow several groups on reddit regarding infidelity. I have also read the books and have (had) an IC. All of these sources have made me start to question everything. So many people are being betrayed and so many people are betraying that it makes me wonder... Are those the only options? Are you either the cheater or the cheated?
For background, I only had 4 relationships before my WW. The longest one before my 23 year marriage was 6 months. 2 of those 4 relationships ended because of cheating by my partner. My mother cheated on my father. Needless to say, I have my fair share of experience with infidelity. I'm 57 days past DDay now and because my cheater of a wife can't or won't give me answers, I've been contemplating other things.
For one thing, I setup a revenge affair. I planned out a physical encounter with someone. I even went as far as to show up and talk. The second there was physical contact (she touched my hand) I immediately knew it was wrong and I found the most polite way to leave (and yes, i did come clean to my WW). This experience made me realize that I don't have the capacity to cheat the way others do. I can't override that voice in my head that tells me right from wrong, no matter how justified I feel.
So, this made me think that some people are wired to cheat and some aren't. Some people are just so damn selfcentered that the only thing that ever does or will matter to them is themselves. The rest of us poor sucker's with a conscience are just tools for their gratification. As soon as they no longer get what they want from us, the go get it from the next poor sucker. Their like emotional vampires.
This line of thinking has lead me to believe that I'd be better off alone for the rest of my life. If people like me are just prey for users, then why do I want to keep putting myself through this. My wife's selfish actions, manipulations, and lack of morality are fully transparent to me now. I can look back and see every time she manipulated me through guilt. Why am I only capable of seeing it in hindsight?
I see myself going through this again and again, regardless of who I might be with, so why bother being with anyone? I think that loneliness would be far less painful than living through infidelity for a 4th time.
2024.05.15 18:36 Awaheya Reaction time and Parry
I loved sekio but I had to play it with a cheat engine. No matter how hard I tried I just could not parry at the correct time.
I literally fought a mini boss while invincible and spent a solid hour just trying to get my timing down.
Anyways I gave up and beat the game with cheats and moved on with me life.
I decided to look up some things though and realized maybe I was kind of set up to fail.
Parry window is 30 frames which equals about 0.5 seconds.
Males over 20 have a reaction time of 0.49 seconds on average. I was 30+ at the time of playing the game. I would say my reaction time is probably at or even slightly below average.
In other words I'm kind of glad I cheated because mentally I don't think my brain was able to do it.
Not out here advocated for difficulty settings but I guess just voicing my annoyance on an entire Games difficulty being based around your reaction time.
This was why I loved dark souls games though. You could easily beat them by being a master Parry God. But if you literally can't do that than you can beat it by being smart and learning mechanics.
submitted by Awaheya to Sekiro [link] [comments]
I literally fought a mini boss while invincible and spent a solid hour just trying to get my timing down.
Anyways I gave up and beat the game with cheats and moved on with me life.
I decided to look up some things though and realized maybe I was kind of set up to fail.
Parry window is 30 frames which equals about 0.5 seconds.
Males over 20 have a reaction time of 0.49 seconds on average. I was 30+ at the time of playing the game. I would say my reaction time is probably at or even slightly below average.
In other words I'm kind of glad I cheated because mentally I don't think my brain was able to do it.
Not out here advocated for difficulty settings but I guess just voicing my annoyance on an entire Games difficulty being based around your reaction time.
This was why I loved dark souls games though. You could easily beat them by being a master Parry God. But if you literally can't do that than you can beat it by being smart and learning mechanics.
2024.05.15 18:34 Talk-nerdie-to-me I feel like a burden
Hi.. first time creating a such a reddit post and reaching out - normally writing these things in journals but never spilling my gutts out to the internet for everyone to see. If abuse triggers you please do not read.
I'm (F) 21, and have been going through a lot from a young age - good and bad.
At 13, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe social anxiety two years on. This derived from some family trauma. I found out my father was cheating on my Mum through a series of inappropriate text messages between him and a student of his at the time - and I had to break the news to her (all I knew at the time was mum deserves to know the truth, even if it hurts).
I recieved a lot of physical abuse from my Dad, when he found out I told her and this was really the beginning of the end for school. Given, I was going to an all girls private school at the time, I went from being part of the "popular kids", to the outcast within a year. when I found out student counsellors and students had ended up gossiping about my situation around tea, this made me feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed to even turn up at school.
I remember on the days when I did, walking into class would be trully uncomfortable - it would go from chatter in the class and as soon as I entered the room, you could hear a pin drop. I remember sitting in IT class, and zoning out from the fact that I was physically and mentally abused that morning, to having my teacher yell at me for not paying enough attention. This was when I stormed out of class and never came back.
There were so many days I had to walk home with my heavy backpack in terrible weather because mum was just trying to keep her job and pay the bills and my father wasn't in the picture for three months at a time because he would be cheating and travelling with this other bitch of a woman (which I later found out through an SD card that I had found bundled under some papers in his room). He'd lie saying he's going to a "work conference" when in reality, he was busy trying to please a woman 30 years younger than him, who eventually left him back to Bangladesh, taking all of the money he gave her. It wasn't all his money mind you. He took $25,000 in life savings of mine AND well over $80,000 in my mothers shared account.. which I hadn't found out until 3 years later - this also included money I had worked hard for. She was a total scam artist and my stupid father fell into her scheming trap. I was so confused at the beginning - I remember crying and wondering why this was happening to me.. mum doesn't deserve this.. I was lost. I remember roaming the streets alone at night some days never coming back until the early hours of the morning. Wishing my life was different. Wishing I could run away. Wishing this was only a nightmare I'd eventually awake from.
I'd never know when he would turn up. He turned up one day to come and drop me off at school and on that day, I had dressed up but him being in the picture again sickened me to the point I dropped my bag and went back to my room. He then stormed towards my room, slammed open the door, picked me up by my neck and dragged me to the front door all the while telling me "you worthless child, you're going to hell for making me late, you bitch" - mind you.. it was still 8am in the morning. He never needed to be anywhere in the past which also lead to me finding out that the reason he was so angry was because I was making him late for picking up that bitches child and dropping him off at child care.
It got to the point were child services got into the picture. I remember the lady coming every Wednesday to check in to see if I was okay. This lead to mum losing days off work because she would have to stay home to make sure I was okay, otherwise I'd be sent off to foster care. She nearly lost her job because of being reported so many times by some racist and nasty bullies at work for tiny things.
I never liked the system. I never liked how they focussed on the victims more than dealing with the perpetrator that caused all the pain and trauma. It was all too much for me. I had fo grow up too soon and there were many times people much older than me would tell me "you're mature for your age".
Trauma. It always stays with you.. you carry it to your grave and it impacts all areas of your life - from relationships to work. I have fears of losing loved ones to this day which is ironic because, i'm actually alone. I no longer have friends like I once used to. I mask my emotions at work and at get-togethers. Even though I tell the truth about my emotions, I always end it with "but I'm okay though! Don't worry!"
I never really feel like I belong. I feel misunderstood. People in my past used to tell me they never would have known what was going on in my life if I didn't say because I am always so happy, and kind, trying to make everyone feel included and belong - it's in my nature to be that kind person.. but.. it also has it's downsides when people start taking advantage of it.. sigh* that's another story.. I'm just trying to come to terms with my past and move on. But sometimes things happen in life which make it bubble back to the surface. I'm trying my best. That's all I know.
I often feel like a burden. My family is overseas and I'm not really close to my half siblings (although we say happy-birthday or merry Christmas with the odd "how's it going", it's normally surface talk). I feel homesick from time to time when I miss my cousins and family overseas which I haven't seen since I was 14.
I often feel like I do not belong. I never understood alcohol or cigarettes and would often be left out because I didn't do those things - I did once.. in highschool a few years on through peer pressure, but it wasn't me. So I cut that phase pretty quickly.
The only place were I felt loved through these times were when I had my loving 9yo dog who passed away 3 days from now last year (who had to be put down in my arms because he also had incurable cancer of the spleen) . He was my world. Still is. He would be with me when times were extremely tough and no one was there.. he was my support. And now he's gone, I often feel totally alone.. talking to my walls because I don't want to put pressure on my mother who constantly complains of bills and finances. Not only a few months after my dog passed, we found out that my father is also sick with an incurable Cancer and the Doctors noted he only has 4 to 6 years to live. Yes.. although he was the cause of much of the trauma in my life, I cannot change the fact that he is my Father and it's difficult for me to comprehend the fact that he could be dead in three years.. I'm only 21.. it's just.. a lot to think about and a lot that has happened in a small space of time. I also have my own medical issues currently. Given I've been trying to manage my kidney pain for months now. I found out today that it will take a few months to recover which is good news. But ths pain is still very much there - it can get exhausting balancing two jobs and study with physical and mental pain honestly.. not to mention, I've exhausted my boyfriend of two years with my issues.. and I feel absolutely terrible for putting so much pressure on him from reaching out.. last night I had a terrible breakdown and since then over call he just told me "I'm exhausted".. I just.. I know he loves me.. but my negativity is all too much for him and I no longer want to reach out to him given he also has things he's dealing with.
Again, I have no friends.. so I didn't really know where to go for this. I do have a remote psychologist but I only have an hour to talk with her and time was up before it even got to resolving my current issues. I had to fill in the gaps of my trauma and what prompts my sadness and stress.. which is another thing I find frustrating.. there's just too much to say and not enough time.
There are so many gaps in what I've written.. so many things left unsaid.. but my story could cover too many pages for anyone read in a small amount of time. My life is pretty chaotic right now. I'm just trying to hold on to hope but it's hard sometimes. There are so many of us struggling out there I just wish we could come together and fight this you know.. anyway.. thank you for reading.
submitted by Talk-nerdie-to-me to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
I'm (F) 21, and have been going through a lot from a young age - good and bad.
At 13, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe social anxiety two years on. This derived from some family trauma. I found out my father was cheating on my Mum through a series of inappropriate text messages between him and a student of his at the time - and I had to break the news to her (all I knew at the time was mum deserves to know the truth, even if it hurts).
I recieved a lot of physical abuse from my Dad, when he found out I told her and this was really the beginning of the end for school. Given, I was going to an all girls private school at the time, I went from being part of the "popular kids", to the outcast within a year. when I found out student counsellors and students had ended up gossiping about my situation around tea, this made me feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed to even turn up at school.
I remember on the days when I did, walking into class would be trully uncomfortable - it would go from chatter in the class and as soon as I entered the room, you could hear a pin drop. I remember sitting in IT class, and zoning out from the fact that I was physically and mentally abused that morning, to having my teacher yell at me for not paying enough attention. This was when I stormed out of class and never came back.
There were so many days I had to walk home with my heavy backpack in terrible weather because mum was just trying to keep her job and pay the bills and my father wasn't in the picture for three months at a time because he would be cheating and travelling with this other bitch of a woman (which I later found out through an SD card that I had found bundled under some papers in his room). He'd lie saying he's going to a "work conference" when in reality, he was busy trying to please a woman 30 years younger than him, who eventually left him back to Bangladesh, taking all of the money he gave her. It wasn't all his money mind you. He took $25,000 in life savings of mine AND well over $80,000 in my mothers shared account.. which I hadn't found out until 3 years later - this also included money I had worked hard for. She was a total scam artist and my stupid father fell into her scheming trap. I was so confused at the beginning - I remember crying and wondering why this was happening to me.. mum doesn't deserve this.. I was lost. I remember roaming the streets alone at night some days never coming back until the early hours of the morning. Wishing my life was different. Wishing I could run away. Wishing this was only a nightmare I'd eventually awake from.
I'd never know when he would turn up. He turned up one day to come and drop me off at school and on that day, I had dressed up but him being in the picture again sickened me to the point I dropped my bag and went back to my room. He then stormed towards my room, slammed open the door, picked me up by my neck and dragged me to the front door all the while telling me "you worthless child, you're going to hell for making me late, you bitch" - mind you.. it was still 8am in the morning. He never needed to be anywhere in the past which also lead to me finding out that the reason he was so angry was because I was making him late for picking up that bitches child and dropping him off at child care.
It got to the point were child services got into the picture. I remember the lady coming every Wednesday to check in to see if I was okay. This lead to mum losing days off work because she would have to stay home to make sure I was okay, otherwise I'd be sent off to foster care. She nearly lost her job because of being reported so many times by some racist and nasty bullies at work for tiny things.
I never liked the system. I never liked how they focussed on the victims more than dealing with the perpetrator that caused all the pain and trauma. It was all too much for me. I had fo grow up too soon and there were many times people much older than me would tell me "you're mature for your age".
Trauma. It always stays with you.. you carry it to your grave and it impacts all areas of your life - from relationships to work. I have fears of losing loved ones to this day which is ironic because, i'm actually alone. I no longer have friends like I once used to. I mask my emotions at work and at get-togethers. Even though I tell the truth about my emotions, I always end it with "but I'm okay though! Don't worry!"
I never really feel like I belong. I feel misunderstood. People in my past used to tell me they never would have known what was going on in my life if I didn't say because I am always so happy, and kind, trying to make everyone feel included and belong - it's in my nature to be that kind person.. but.. it also has it's downsides when people start taking advantage of it.. sigh* that's another story.. I'm just trying to come to terms with my past and move on. But sometimes things happen in life which make it bubble back to the surface. I'm trying my best. That's all I know.
I often feel like a burden. My family is overseas and I'm not really close to my half siblings (although we say happy-birthday or merry Christmas with the odd "how's it going", it's normally surface talk). I feel homesick from time to time when I miss my cousins and family overseas which I haven't seen since I was 14.
I often feel like I do not belong. I never understood alcohol or cigarettes and would often be left out because I didn't do those things - I did once.. in highschool a few years on through peer pressure, but it wasn't me. So I cut that phase pretty quickly.
The only place were I felt loved through these times were when I had my loving 9yo dog who passed away 3 days from now last year (who had to be put down in my arms because he also had incurable cancer of the spleen) . He was my world. Still is. He would be with me when times were extremely tough and no one was there.. he was my support. And now he's gone, I often feel totally alone.. talking to my walls because I don't want to put pressure on my mother who constantly complains of bills and finances. Not only a few months after my dog passed, we found out that my father is also sick with an incurable Cancer and the Doctors noted he only has 4 to 6 years to live. Yes.. although he was the cause of much of the trauma in my life, I cannot change the fact that he is my Father and it's difficult for me to comprehend the fact that he could be dead in three years.. I'm only 21.. it's just.. a lot to think about and a lot that has happened in a small space of time. I also have my own medical issues currently. Given I've been trying to manage my kidney pain for months now. I found out today that it will take a few months to recover which is good news. But ths pain is still very much there - it can get exhausting balancing two jobs and study with physical and mental pain honestly.. not to mention, I've exhausted my boyfriend of two years with my issues.. and I feel absolutely terrible for putting so much pressure on him from reaching out.. last night I had a terrible breakdown and since then over call he just told me "I'm exhausted".. I just.. I know he loves me.. but my negativity is all too much for him and I no longer want to reach out to him given he also has things he's dealing with.
Again, I have no friends.. so I didn't really know where to go for this. I do have a remote psychologist but I only have an hour to talk with her and time was up before it even got to resolving my current issues. I had to fill in the gaps of my trauma and what prompts my sadness and stress.. which is another thing I find frustrating.. there's just too much to say and not enough time.
There are so many gaps in what I've written.. so many things left unsaid.. but my story could cover too many pages for anyone read in a small amount of time. My life is pretty chaotic right now. I'm just trying to hold on to hope but it's hard sometimes. There are so many of us struggling out there I just wish we could come together and fight this you know.. anyway.. thank you for reading.
2024.05.15 18:34 pssshhhthatsabsurd F26 looking for gamer buddies
Hi guys, I play a lot of games: Apex, OW, GTA, FORT, COD etc. I’m trying to find some (girl)friends to play with. Im chill, can spaz out, 4/20 friendly. I’m on EU servers, mostly online in evenings/weekends. Let me know if you want to play and I’ll send my psn in dms! :) 21+ please
submitted by pssshhhthatsabsurd to PSNFriends [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 18:31 freewatermel0ns Never thought an exam organised by nta could go as bad as jee mains. Aaj cuet deke aagaya
Madarchod. Invigilators cheating karare, last mei jab omr submit horaha tha, banda bas bagal se aage se puchraha hai answer aur invigilator collected sheets se dekh ke bata bhi diye 4-5 answers. Ek dusra bacha literally chila chila ke puch raha tha question invigilators ke saamne aur unko koi farak hi nahin pad raha. Laude ki ai technologies. that too nta ke OFFICIAL CENTRE pe it's insane
submitted by freewatermel0ns to CUETards [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 18:09 Ok_Vanilla_8763 Primary on vehicle loan with now ex
Location: Colorado, USA
In August 2023 I agreed to be primary on a car loan for my boyfriend of 3 years because his car broke down and he needed a vehicle for work, and his credit wasn't good enough to qualify on his own.
On the vehicle purchasing paperwork it says we both own the car. I am the primary borrower, he is the co-borrower.
We have since broken up, and it was messy. I will provide context as I don't know if we would be considered common law in Colorado and whether that affects things. We were together for 4 years. He cheated on me, and she was his gf a week later. I had stopped working full time 6 months prior to help care for his son and 2 godchildren, who we had temp custody of. I wasn't able to move out right away and he seemed okay with me saving money for a few months to move out... until he wasn't. He became more verbally aggressive, blocked access to the internet so I couldn't work, cancelled my car insurance even though I was halfway into a 2 week driving test to qualify for new car insurance, cancelled my phone line. He threatened to evict me (he couldn't do this because it was his parents house) multiple times because he felt like I wasn't trying hard enough to find another job. I eventually was able to save up enough to move out.
Last month, he was arrested for domestic violence against his new gf, he tried to kill himself that same night. It turns out he was heavily abusing his ADHD medication and alcohol, as well as other drugs like cocaine and hiding it from everyone for over a year, at least. He admitted to me that he stole ADHD medication from me. I had medication go missing in 2022 and 2023 but I could not confirm it was him. I even messaged his therapist and she was unable to give him a UA because he was also on ADHD medication and so the drug test wouldn't prove he was taking my medication. I plan on filing a police report, but I want to get the car loan situation sorted out because I'm worried about retaliation on his end. The police told me I don't need to file the report right away and that I can wait.
I continue to get notifications when he is late with his payments. He also has an EZ Pass and if he doesn't make the payments on those, the letters get sent to me in my name because I am primary. I called EZ Pass and they said if it doesn't get paid then it could prevent car registration.
When I email him and ask him where he is at on requesting the loan be taken out of my name and put into his, he says he's working on it but won't give me any other information or any sort of timeline. My credit score went down 50 points with the vehicle loan. I was luckily able to move into a private residence that did not require me to do a credit check, but I might need to move again and I will likely struggle to find an apartment with my current credit score.
The last email I sent, I told him if we can't figure it out we can get a mediator but it would be at his expense. He hasn't responded.
The current loan is approximately $30k. Payments are around $600/mo.
Questions
Are there ways I can get off of the loan that do not require him to have good enough credit to qualify?
Can I repo the car? What does that look like?
Does he have to be in agreement with my decisions?
I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions. I am lost in this situation but really need to buck up and get educated on what I can and can't do. He is someone who makes threats and I think what he did to me after we broke up would be considered emotional and financial abuse. I am definitely concerned about retaliation, and so I need to understand what am able to do so I can make the best decision.
Thank you so much in advance
submitted by Ok_Vanilla_8763 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
In August 2023 I agreed to be primary on a car loan for my boyfriend of 3 years because his car broke down and he needed a vehicle for work, and his credit wasn't good enough to qualify on his own.
On the vehicle purchasing paperwork it says we both own the car. I am the primary borrower, he is the co-borrower.
We have since broken up, and it was messy. I will provide context as I don't know if we would be considered common law in Colorado and whether that affects things. We were together for 4 years. He cheated on me, and she was his gf a week later. I had stopped working full time 6 months prior to help care for his son and 2 godchildren, who we had temp custody of. I wasn't able to move out right away and he seemed okay with me saving money for a few months to move out... until he wasn't. He became more verbally aggressive, blocked access to the internet so I couldn't work, cancelled my car insurance even though I was halfway into a 2 week driving test to qualify for new car insurance, cancelled my phone line. He threatened to evict me (he couldn't do this because it was his parents house) multiple times because he felt like I wasn't trying hard enough to find another job. I eventually was able to save up enough to move out.
Last month, he was arrested for domestic violence against his new gf, he tried to kill himself that same night. It turns out he was heavily abusing his ADHD medication and alcohol, as well as other drugs like cocaine and hiding it from everyone for over a year, at least. He admitted to me that he stole ADHD medication from me. I had medication go missing in 2022 and 2023 but I could not confirm it was him. I even messaged his therapist and she was unable to give him a UA because he was also on ADHD medication and so the drug test wouldn't prove he was taking my medication. I plan on filing a police report, but I want to get the car loan situation sorted out because I'm worried about retaliation on his end. The police told me I don't need to file the report right away and that I can wait.
I continue to get notifications when he is late with his payments. He also has an EZ Pass and if he doesn't make the payments on those, the letters get sent to me in my name because I am primary. I called EZ Pass and they said if it doesn't get paid then it could prevent car registration.
When I email him and ask him where he is at on requesting the loan be taken out of my name and put into his, he says he's working on it but won't give me any other information or any sort of timeline. My credit score went down 50 points with the vehicle loan. I was luckily able to move into a private residence that did not require me to do a credit check, but I might need to move again and I will likely struggle to find an apartment with my current credit score.
The last email I sent, I told him if we can't figure it out we can get a mediator but it would be at his expense. He hasn't responded.
The current loan is approximately $30k. Payments are around $600/mo.
Questions
Are there ways I can get off of the loan that do not require him to have good enough credit to qualify?
Can I repo the car? What does that look like?
Does he have to be in agreement with my decisions?
I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions. I am lost in this situation but really need to buck up and get educated on what I can and can't do. He is someone who makes threats and I think what he did to me after we broke up would be considered emotional and financial abuse. I am definitely concerned about retaliation, and so I need to understand what am able to do so I can make the best decision.
Thank you so much in advance
2024.05.15 18:02 Artistic_Sorbet_3465 why i wish my dad didnt retire
Kinamumuhian ko talaga tatay ko hay. Growing up, we were always closer to our mom kasi she worked in our city while my dad worked in another province (around 1 hour away). Uwian naman siya pero gabi na tas di narin namin naaabutan pag umaga. Syempre di rin yun healthy if gagawin niya long term so he opted to retire na, along with my mom. Kaya naman na raw ng combined pension nila na buhayin kami. (I’m thankful that they had the choice since not everyone is privileged enough to).
The way my parents handle money is vastly different, probably due to their upbringing. Yung nanay ko, malapit sa parents niya so she regularly treats them, sends them money etc. Tas naman yung tatay ko, di close na nanay tas yung tataymay sariling buhay na rin. Also, hiwalay sila which I think did a toll on him lol.
This meant they often had fights about money. Not so much about the lack of it, but how the other handles it. I never really cared that much pero ofc now that I’m older and they’re around the house 24/7, fights happen more often, so I can’t really turn a blind eye and « not care ».
My dad is so frugal. Maiintindihan ko kung wala naman talaga pero sa kanilang magkakapatid, I know that he has the most money but for some reason parang di naman lumilitaw yun sa lifestyle namin. We have the ugliest house pa nga eh, which has been an insecurity of mine for the longest time. I know sobrang trivial lalo na undami ngang unfortunate na wala namang bahay, pero nakakasama lang ng loob kasi months after his retirement, bumili siya ng car na worth 4+m. I get it, its his money, and dream car niya yun. (NOTE: we had a good and functional car, not even 5 years old, that he sold without consulting us first)
God, we couldve gotten a decent house built with that money. When I say ugly house, di lang dahil di aesthetic o ano. Yung cr namin, may mga ipis pa nga minsan. Tas I remember nung bata ako, tuwing umuulan, nanay ko pa ang kumukuha ng balde para di magleak dahil may butas sa bubong. Oa na kung oa pero di ko lang maintindihan kung pano kinakaya ng tatay ko na makita yung mga BABAENG anak niya na mahirapan sa barado na cr. THIS IS WHATS UPSETTING: said 4m car cant even be used daily, baka marumihan raw. tangina, bat niya pa binili? buti sana kung mag isa siya, e kaso pamilyado yung tao.
Tapos, sobrang stingy niya pagdating sa monthly expenses. Ang nakasanayan nila kasi, mom ko nagbabayad. (Cant imagine my dad paying bills on time) Though half naman ambagan nila. Pero ngayong retired na siya, its like it got worse. Same lang sila ng pension pero madalas ilang beses pa kailangan iremind ni mama si dad para ibigay yung share niya. ANG MALALA, minsan kulang pa. Fck him. My mom deserves so much better.
I wish he didn’t retire kasi atleast that way, I dont get to see him everyday. Sumasama lang loob ko sa kaniya. Plastikan nalang tlaga, dahil there is no way in hell that he’s not paying for my college. Kung pati dun, titipirin niya kami ng mga kapatid ko knowing he is fully capable of sending us to good schools, I wont hesitate to fight his cheating ass (yes, dude’s a cheater as well).
Honestly, I wish my mom and him never met. She probably wouldve been so much happier and at peace. The only good thing this brought me is that alam ko na na kapag mag-aasawa ako, di sapat ang love, dapat kasundo ko financially.
submitted by Artistic_Sorbet_3465 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
The way my parents handle money is vastly different, probably due to their upbringing. Yung nanay ko, malapit sa parents niya so she regularly treats them, sends them money etc. Tas naman yung tatay ko, di close na nanay tas yung tataymay sariling buhay na rin. Also, hiwalay sila which I think did a toll on him lol.
This meant they often had fights about money. Not so much about the lack of it, but how the other handles it. I never really cared that much pero ofc now that I’m older and they’re around the house 24/7, fights happen more often, so I can’t really turn a blind eye and « not care ».
My dad is so frugal. Maiintindihan ko kung wala naman talaga pero sa kanilang magkakapatid, I know that he has the most money but for some reason parang di naman lumilitaw yun sa lifestyle namin. We have the ugliest house pa nga eh, which has been an insecurity of mine for the longest time. I know sobrang trivial lalo na undami ngang unfortunate na wala namang bahay, pero nakakasama lang ng loob kasi months after his retirement, bumili siya ng car na worth 4+m. I get it, its his money, and dream car niya yun. (NOTE: we had a good and functional car, not even 5 years old, that he sold without consulting us first)
God, we couldve gotten a decent house built with that money. When I say ugly house, di lang dahil di aesthetic o ano. Yung cr namin, may mga ipis pa nga minsan. Tas I remember nung bata ako, tuwing umuulan, nanay ko pa ang kumukuha ng balde para di magleak dahil may butas sa bubong. Oa na kung oa pero di ko lang maintindihan kung pano kinakaya ng tatay ko na makita yung mga BABAENG anak niya na mahirapan sa barado na cr. THIS IS WHATS UPSETTING: said 4m car cant even be used daily, baka marumihan raw. tangina, bat niya pa binili? buti sana kung mag isa siya, e kaso pamilyado yung tao.
Tapos, sobrang stingy niya pagdating sa monthly expenses. Ang nakasanayan nila kasi, mom ko nagbabayad. (Cant imagine my dad paying bills on time) Though half naman ambagan nila. Pero ngayong retired na siya, its like it got worse. Same lang sila ng pension pero madalas ilang beses pa kailangan iremind ni mama si dad para ibigay yung share niya. ANG MALALA, minsan kulang pa. Fck him. My mom deserves so much better.
I wish he didn’t retire kasi atleast that way, I dont get to see him everyday. Sumasama lang loob ko sa kaniya. Plastikan nalang tlaga, dahil there is no way in hell that he’s not paying for my college. Kung pati dun, titipirin niya kami ng mga kapatid ko knowing he is fully capable of sending us to good schools, I wont hesitate to fight his cheating ass (yes, dude’s a cheater as well).
Honestly, I wish my mom and him never met. She probably wouldve been so much happier and at peace. The only good thing this brought me is that alam ko na na kapag mag-aasawa ako, di sapat ang love, dapat kasundo ko financially.
2024.05.15 17:57 No-Professional1452 Toronto Audi Modifying
 | Hi everyone, I’ve had my 2018 S5 for about 4 months now and I’m thinking of doing some mods. I’ve never owned German and never done any type of upgrades. submitted by No-Professional1452 to Audi [link] [comments] I live in the GTA and would love some recommendations on parts and places to go to get installed/tuned Would love any direction! Thank you |
2024.05.15 17:55 Malicebich I think I should end my relationship.
Hi, I’m 23 and i’m currently in a 7 & a half month long relationship with my partner also 23. For some context, growing up as a child and in my teens I had no one to trust, not even my parents. I had an absent father and an abusive mother. I’ve never been someone’s top priority.
Now onto the relationship. I just want to point out that we are in an LDR. At the beginning, everything was great. We met on a social media platform that we had known each other for years on as they were in a popular group that made music in a close community that has now separated. They “talked” to a LOT of people in that community, most of them are mutuals of mine. Im talking nudes, lewds, flirting, commenting on each others posts constantly, the lot. I also did “speak” to people in that community, but hardly ever shared nudes or lewds out of insecurity and fear of them being spread around.
When we first started talking, I had no idea they were also talking to another girl that was actually one of their longest friends. They made me feel like it was only me they talked to. When we made it official, I asked if they were talking to someone else whilst talking to me and they told me no. A couple months later I found out that they were also talking to this person. I woke them up crying feeling betrayed that they had lied to me. I never thought that it was considered cheating cause it was before we got together, but i felt betrayed that they had lied to me when i asked.
He told me that it was because he was scared, and he didn’t want to cut them off, I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel and asked them to remove the girl. They did. I’ve been trying to regain my trust since then. It’s been hard but i feel like i’ve made some progress. Until recently, i’ve been insanely paranoid and feel like he is going to do something, even though he reassures me that he wont, I just cant get over the lies and I really cant get over the fact that he’s seen the private parts of maybe a 1/4 of the people on his friends list. When i bring this up he tells me that they’re just mutuals, but i’ve seen convos, and they aren’t just mutuals..
I do want to add that those things happened before our relationship, he hasn’t done anything except like a couple of girls’ insta photos when he was “drunk”. I love him so fucking much but I cant take this emotional pain and paranoia and distrust anymore. I want this to work so much. But I don’t want to hurt him or myself, he’s one of the only reasons i’m still here.
submitted by Malicebich to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Now onto the relationship. I just want to point out that we are in an LDR. At the beginning, everything was great. We met on a social media platform that we had known each other for years on as they were in a popular group that made music in a close community that has now separated. They “talked” to a LOT of people in that community, most of them are mutuals of mine. Im talking nudes, lewds, flirting, commenting on each others posts constantly, the lot. I also did “speak” to people in that community, but hardly ever shared nudes or lewds out of insecurity and fear of them being spread around.
When we first started talking, I had no idea they were also talking to another girl that was actually one of their longest friends. They made me feel like it was only me they talked to. When we made it official, I asked if they were talking to someone else whilst talking to me and they told me no. A couple months later I found out that they were also talking to this person. I woke them up crying feeling betrayed that they had lied to me. I never thought that it was considered cheating cause it was before we got together, but i felt betrayed that they had lied to me when i asked.
He told me that it was because he was scared, and he didn’t want to cut them off, I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel and asked them to remove the girl. They did. I’ve been trying to regain my trust since then. It’s been hard but i feel like i’ve made some progress. Until recently, i’ve been insanely paranoid and feel like he is going to do something, even though he reassures me that he wont, I just cant get over the lies and I really cant get over the fact that he’s seen the private parts of maybe a 1/4 of the people on his friends list. When i bring this up he tells me that they’re just mutuals, but i’ve seen convos, and they aren’t just mutuals..
I do want to add that those things happened before our relationship, he hasn’t done anything except like a couple of girls’ insta photos when he was “drunk”. I love him so fucking much but I cant take this emotional pain and paranoia and distrust anymore. I want this to work so much. But I don’t want to hurt him or myself, he’s one of the only reasons i’m still here.
2024.05.15 17:47 Careful_Surprise_542 idk if he cheating or is it a bug 4 billion grenades
 | submitted by Careful_Surprise_542 to helldivers2 [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 17:42 Demonic_RS New to IF
So I started IF about 2 weeks ago. Starting weight of 387 and currently down to 373. I'm assuming most of that is water weight and the real journey starts now. I'm 6'1 if that makes any difference.
I'm currently doing 20:4 during the work week and 16:8 during the weekend. I work 5am to 4pm in a semi demanding job. Usually eat something around 7pm and sleep at 9:30 pm.
I cut out snacks and drinks (cept water) and even lowered my portion sizes when it comes to Starch and Carbs. I certainly feel healthier. Though I do cheat on Saturday where I do allow myself to drink a can of Soda. I feel that's a fair compromise
One thing I'm having trouble with is going to the gym. I feel like when I do Cardio I have absolutely no energy and get an even stronger hunger vibe. Weight training is a bit easier. Is this a normal feeling when it comes to IF? I figure if I can do the gym 3x a day for even 20-30 mins will help in the long run. My question is should I do weight training 2x a week and cardio in-between?
My goal would be to get down to 270 (Weight right before Covid quarantine started) by the end of August 2025 (15 months from now) for a very important trip to my home country. I'm not sure if this is a realistic goal or not. Even 300 pounds I'd be impressed with. The ultimate goal is weight loss, but to gain muscle would be a side goal.
What do y'all do when you're feeling extra down and temptation start to get a bit too strong? I feel some days are certainly easier than others.
Anything advice would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by Demonic_RS to intermittentfasting [link] [comments]
I'm currently doing 20:4 during the work week and 16:8 during the weekend. I work 5am to 4pm in a semi demanding job. Usually eat something around 7pm and sleep at 9:30 pm.
I cut out snacks and drinks (cept water) and even lowered my portion sizes when it comes to Starch and Carbs. I certainly feel healthier. Though I do cheat on Saturday where I do allow myself to drink a can of Soda. I feel that's a fair compromise
One thing I'm having trouble with is going to the gym. I feel like when I do Cardio I have absolutely no energy and get an even stronger hunger vibe. Weight training is a bit easier. Is this a normal feeling when it comes to IF? I figure if I can do the gym 3x a day for even 20-30 mins will help in the long run. My question is should I do weight training 2x a week and cardio in-between?
My goal would be to get down to 270 (Weight right before Covid quarantine started) by the end of August 2025 (15 months from now) for a very important trip to my home country. I'm not sure if this is a realistic goal or not. Even 300 pounds I'd be impressed with. The ultimate goal is weight loss, but to gain muscle would be a side goal.
What do y'all do when you're feeling extra down and temptation start to get a bit too strong? I feel some days are certainly easier than others.
Anything advice would be greatly appreciated!
2024.05.15 17:37 TrueKam_ Programming for Cheat Engine
I know this isn't the normal type of post that gets put here, so I apologize if I'm in the wrong place.
I'm working on programming a game of my own. It's in the early stages of development and I'd like to make the game as accessible to Cheat Engine as possible. What techniques, if any, can I use to make locating memory values as simple as possible?
The game is being built using Unreal Engine 5 (5.3 currently, with testing to see if updating to 5.4 is feasible, if any of that matters.)
Is it sufficient to provide information as to the data types being used by my game objects? I'd expect that nearly any changes and recompiles would throw those calculations out the window, though. What about providing a debug build of the game that's accessible to the CE community? I haven't played with the differences, but do the memory addresses even line up between debug and production builds? I would hope it would be if some help, but I wouldn't put any money on it. Or, in the end, is it just sufficient that I make myself available to answer questions to any industrious hackers that might want to make a table for my game?
Thanks in advance to anyone who might be able to provide some insight. CE is a great tool and has a great community. Keep up the great work.
submitted by TrueKam_ to cheatengine [link] [comments]
I'm working on programming a game of my own. It's in the early stages of development and I'd like to make the game as accessible to Cheat Engine as possible. What techniques, if any, can I use to make locating memory values as simple as possible?
The game is being built using Unreal Engine 5 (5.3 currently, with testing to see if updating to 5.4 is feasible, if any of that matters.)
Is it sufficient to provide information as to the data types being used by my game objects? I'd expect that nearly any changes and recompiles would throw those calculations out the window, though. What about providing a debug build of the game that's accessible to the CE community? I haven't played with the differences, but do the memory addresses even line up between debug and production builds? I would hope it would be if some help, but I wouldn't put any money on it. Or, in the end, is it just sufficient that I make myself available to answer questions to any industrious hackers that might want to make a table for my game?
Thanks in advance to anyone who might be able to provide some insight. CE is a great tool and has a great community. Keep up the great work.
2024.05.15 17:33 Spiritual-Fee9875 Is he cheating?
Me (F, 33) and husband (M, 33) have known each other for nearly 8 years, married for 4 years. We both share a son who is turning 2. Since the start of my pregnancy, we have slept on the same bed but not had sex, at all. We could count the times we had sex in one hand.
I once talked to him about it, and he told me that we either got too tired from work or he was terrified about the idea having sex while a baby was in my stomach.
Long story short, I realised recently that he often eye-balled at massage parlours with sexual services. One night, I went through his phone and realised that he even went to facebook search A parlour nearby our home. I confronted him about it and he told me that he did think of visiting one for reasons that he was very stressed out at work and couldn't find anyone to confide in. Also, he felt that I often disregarded his feelings. When I pushed further, he told me that he was checking these parlour out of curiosity.
Is he mind-fucking me? Did he already frequent them? Did he cheating on me? I am on the verge of initiating a divorce but am at a loss on what to do next. I don't want my son to live without his father at this age. What are the repercussions if we really went through a divorce?
submitted by Spiritual-Fee9875 to Marriage [link] [comments]
I once talked to him about it, and he told me that we either got too tired from work or he was terrified about the idea having sex while a baby was in my stomach.
Long story short, I realised recently that he often eye-balled at massage parlours with sexual services. One night, I went through his phone and realised that he even went to facebook search A parlour nearby our home. I confronted him about it and he told me that he did think of visiting one for reasons that he was very stressed out at work and couldn't find anyone to confide in. Also, he felt that I often disregarded his feelings. When I pushed further, he told me that he was checking these parlour out of curiosity.
Is he mind-fucking me? Did he already frequent them? Did he cheating on me? I am on the verge of initiating a divorce but am at a loss on what to do next. I don't want my son to live without his father at this age. What are the repercussions if we really went through a divorce?