I passed the Series 7 exam recently on my first attempt and wanted to give a debrief of what lead to my success. I remember once reading these very posts thinking " wow they passed, I probably won't" I was never so wrong.
Your probably reading "I failed for the third attempt","The exam was a alien language and insanly hard" STOP reading those, the authors are dumbasses who never picked up the book for more than three days and scored 60-70s on all of their practice exams. I'm here to say, you're FINE if you put in the WORK! No one EVER said "I studied and put in the work and failed" You don't see threads that say "500 hours studied and failed" Because they all passed.
THIS IS A WORK EXAM! -Ken, he was so god damn correct. I'm a dumbass. But I put in the work and got it done on the first try. I took notes. I read the book. I took 30+ practice exams from 2 different vendors, I watched all of Kens videos, joined all the lives, and all of Brian & De-ans videos.
Do you want to pass? Here's my honest advice. If you are scoring 60-70 on your practice exams don't take the god damn exam. Why waste another month studying when you can buckle down and get in the 80's by hammer the topics you don't understand. I used Kaplan and STC and felt the combination of the two OVER prepared me for the series 7.
READ THE BOOK! It's a huge book! But fking read it until it looks small, understand the book until you can flip open a page and be bored of whatever topic you opened because you know all the shit about it. I'm a slow reader and hate reading, but I did it!
Actual Exam experience:
On the actual exam it's ok to miss questions and you need accept that. I encountered around 10 questions I had no god damn clue the answer to. That's fine! Mark it and don't touch it, it's wrong! Get the other questions right and forget about it. I knew margin in and out and still probably missed all of them lol. Luck of the draw 2-3 questions is no big deal.
This part is HUGE! KNOW ALTERNATE LANGUAGE. on the actual exam it is worded differently, they may not say "yield to call" maybe it's something else to throw you off. (Im not giving u the exact one I encountered, but I had 5-10 questions that the correct (Kaplan typical answer) was not there and they named it something else. If you know your shit, them calling it "yield to redemption or escrow" shouldn't throw you off.
This paragraph is for all the options babys. Kaplans options questions are more than enough to pass the actual exam. It does not go deeper than Kapan. Nothing did, the actual exam is a mile wide and only a inch deep. If you can hammer out Kaplans 550+ practice option questions, you are fine.
I hope this helps someone, I will admit to, I get the stress. I threw up the morning of my exam because I was so nervous, but I'm here to confirm once you see the actual questions you will relax because they are not as scary as everyone says they are. I took the SIE,6,63 and now 7 and to this day think the SIE was the hardest because I did not take it seriously.
Good luck test takers!

Name: Luke Stratos
Age: 16
Appearance: Tall, broad shoulders, dark brown skin, black hair in a crew cut wave, hazel brown eyes, lean, muscular build, celtic shield knot on his right bicep, a wolf head tattoo on his left forearm, and the Japanese Kanji for wind on his right bicel. Small, faded scars litter most of his body.
Personality: Kind, friendly, helpful, stubborn at times, hardworking, loves his family dearly, dedicated to helping others, can get nervous around girls, tends to be charming without noticing it, gentlemanly, and is a fighter to the very end.
Likes: Martal arts, his mother, his sisters, cooking, heroes, R&B music, country music, singing, desserts, figuring out what he can create with his Quirk, his classmates (sans Bakugo at times), storms, windy days, mythology.
Dislikes: Bullies, his father, villains, anyone who mistreats women, people who fight for no reason, heroes who only care about fame, cameras, extremely cheesy foods, snakes, and waking up super early.
Quirk: Gale Forge- Luke's Quirk allows him to generate, manipulate, and intensify wind currents. This gives Luke the ability to not only manipulate the wind and air around him for simple purposes such as movements and basic attacks but also solidify the air into various constructs, essentially forging objects out of wind. These constructs can range from simple shields and battering rams to more complex shapes like blades, grappling hooks, and even animals. The constructs Luke creates take on a dark, midnight blue shade.
Quirk Drawbacks: Luke's Quirk relies heavily on the air quality around him. If the air is too humid or too wet than his constructs will become virtually unusable. And if Luke's airway or supply becomes shortened or cut off in any way then he won't be able to create anything at all. Overuse of his Quirk can also lead to intense asthma attacks or ruptured blood vessels.
Quirk Supermoves:
Cyclone Lancer: Luke summons numerous, dark blue spears around him that he uses to launch from a distance.
Sky Shot: Luke creates a blue wind bow and fires an arrow at his target. As long as he has eyes on his target, the arrow will follow.
Gale Step: Luke summons concentrated bursts of air from beneath his feet, increasing his speed and mobility.
Vortex Wrath: Luke creates a spinning funnel of wind around his arm and shapes it into a drill.
Breeze Blade: Luke summons a triangular-bladed broadsword that he uses at close range.
Falcon Tempest: Luke summons a cast of wind falcons he uses as either a means of attack or a way to temporarily blind an opponent.
Lupus Storm: Luke summons a pack of wolves that he can use to carry injured people away from the battlefield or attack numerous opponents.
Ryuusepuu (Dragon Whirlwind): Luke creates a swirling, Asian lung Dragon that circles around him before he sends it at his opponent. The Dragon traps the opponent in a massive vortex before biting down on them with full force.
Fujin-ken (Wind God Fist): Luke gathers spinning wind around his right fist that he sends out in a massive burst of wind that sometimes takes the form of an angry Oni head.
Howling Hurricane: Currently Luke's strongest move. He summons a massive amount of wind around him before launching himself into the air. Luke shifts into a flying kick position and condenses the wind around his outstretched leg. The wind transforms themselves into a wolf head which bites down on his target with the full force of hurricane force winds.
Hero Name: Zephyros, The Wind Knight
Hero Costume: Dark blue cargo pants with black tribal markings swirling around the outer edges of it. The pants are tucked into a set of black boots with silver armor protecting his knees and shins. A black and silver belt is around his waist full of different medical supplies, smoke bombs, flashbangs, and other small weapons that Luke uses in the field. He wears a long-sleeved black and blue shirt made of a special material that is bulletproof, tearproof, and fireproof along with protective armor on his forearms and shoulders. His torso is covered by a chest guard with the image of a knight's helm surrounded by streaks of wind on the front area. His chest guard also acts a wind breaker with lighter, cloth material hanging down past his hips along with a hood on the back of his neck. His look is finished off with a mask covering the lower half of his face and a simple mask over his eyes that enhaces his vision through numerous types of filters.
Background: Luke is the only male child of now divorced parents. His father, a real estate tycoon was so focus on his work that he neglected his wife which also led to his infidelity. Luke in turn has four older sisters with two of them being the daughters of women other than his mother. Luke's father was hardly in his life, only seeing the young man a few times a year, leaving him to be raised by his mother and older sisters.
Luke grew up seeing just how hard his family members worked to be able to provide for him and each other. Luke's mother gave him as much love as she could as well as showing him different skills that would help him in the future. As he grew, his sisters succeeded in their careers and became the top of their fields; a respected surgeon, a lawyer, a tech entrepreneur, and even a pop icon. While sometimes being placed in the shadows of his successful siblings, he never felt like he was inferior to them. They all loved him and he loved them, idolizing how much hard work they put in to making their dreams come true.
Luke first became interested in the hero world when he saw a local hero not only save a small time grocery store from getting robbed but also assisting him in getting his business back in working order. Luke realized that being a hero wasn't just about dealing with villains or flashy rescues but also giving the people hope when they felt like they didn't have any. Just like how his family members made him feel when he was at his lowest points.
Luke made it his goal to become a hero, to do some good for the people in this world that felt like nothing good ever happened to them.

I wanted to take a moment to post for Matt. His initial run, pre-everyone except James, was such an exciting time in Jeopardy history. It was the first winning streak we had seen in so long, second-longest to Ken at the time, although he was followed by many other long streaks. He played through the guest host roulette during peak Covid times and remained so humble during the whole thing. I find his quirks (“what’s”, never saying “true daily double”, long pause before responding) and the fact that he still seems a little nervous on stage extremely endearing. I also love that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. While it seems unlikely he will advance further in the Masters tournament (you never know), he seems to be happy in life and doesn’t rely on Jeopardy! to be his whole personality. I’m not sure we’ll ever see him on the Jeopardy! stage again (I hope we do!) so I wanted to say while he’s still on our screens, as I found myself saying repeatedly watching his initial run, what an incredible mind Matt has.
*this is nothing against any of the other Masters, they are all wonderful and obviously smart. There’s just a special place in my heart for Matt that I’m sure some of you relate to.

Casting Director Dianne Young is a guest host.

• Pete Ferriero is sad that the Mets season is over.
• Jeffrey White produced the first 6 episodes.
• Paul Waigner then came in after that.
• Dianne Young was Rosin’s 2nd hire.
• She came from Growing Pains.
• Joanna Ray casted the initial cast.
• Joanna Ray left to go do Twin Peaks.
• Rosin says the first 6 episodes of Twin Peaks was great. They didn’t know how to end it after that.
• By the end of season 1 of Beverly Hills, 90210, the ratings were better than that of Twin Peaks.
• They love the Pacific Northwest shots in Twin Peaks.
• Young had known most of the cast of this show before, except for Ian Ziering and Gabrielle Carteris.
• Young: Tori Spelling worked hard at being an actress.
• Young thinks Bob (Robert) Harbin recommended her to Rosin.
• They needed to replace the father on this show.
• When Rosin started talking to Young about the character of Dylan, she knew exactly who they should cast: Luke Perry.
• Rosin had heard 12 others audition for Dylan. Luke Perry was the first one he thought could not only be cast, but could elevate the show.
• Young had been working on a pilot for Paramount. Another casting director had recommended Perry. When another casting director recommends someone, then one takes notice. Perry came in to read for the part. He said himself to Young that he wasn’t right for the part. She agreed, and told him she would remember him for something else.
• Kurt Geiger also read for Dylan.
• Perry was overwhelmingly Rosin and Young’s choice for Dylan.
• Others that read for Dylan: Matt LeBlanc, Trevor Edmond, Sean Patrick Flannery, David Gray, Carl Evans, Keith Pugan.
• Trevor Edmond would go on to play Evan Potter.
• Carl Evans would play Jonathan Casten in season 6.
• If they liked someone during their audition, they would write OTW by their name – Onto Wardrobe.
• Perry was nervous for his FOX audition.
• The network was lukewarm on him. Aaron Spelling liked him, and had their own production company pay for him.

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• Phases during the audition process: 1) Casting director sends out breakdown for a role.

2) Agents and managers submit actors.
3) Casting director goes through the actors. Well known actors go straight to producers.
4) Casting sessions are set up.
5) Producers are then present for callbacks. They look to make sure they’re right for the role, and can have consistent performances.
6) Another callback, this time with the production company.
7) Another callback, this time for the network. Bob Harbin and Wendy Matthews were in charge for FOX.

• Young would constantly talk with Tony Shepherd throughout this process.
• Early in the series, they would have appointments for actors to come in, and they wouldn’t show up. 40% of them would not show up.
• Young would have to tell the producers, “they’re not here, let me find out what’s going on”, while sweating bullets.
• Aaron Spelling built a really beautiful casting room.
• Darren Starr would be there.
• David Stenn (writeproducers) would also be involved.
• Because they were a bottom feeder, they worked with what they had.
• Young had gotten a quote from Luke Perry’s agent and manager, about his salary. However, quotes are not always accurate, so she has to verify the quote.
• The quote was actually lower than what she had first heard.
• The production company, not FOX, paid for Perry’s contract. Usually FOX pays for the contracts.

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• Luke Perry gave Young a Christmas present. It was a magnifying glass, and a horseshoe. The magnifying glass, was to help Young look for people like him.
• He also signed a poster of “8 seconds” for her.

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James Eckhouse interview:
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• Lyman Ward was initially cast as Jim Walsh.
• Carol Potter read with James Eckhouse in front of Aaron Spelling.
• Eckhouse didn’t think he was going to get the part. No way, he thought.
• After Eckhouse left, Aaron Spelling said “there’s something about that Eckhosue.”
• Potter said “Yeah, he’s Jewish.”
• Barry Diller was the head of FOX. He almost always recast someone. For example, the original lead of 21 Jump Street was not Johnny Depp. Depp was recast into that role.
• So, the same thing happened with Beverly Hills, 90210. Ward was recast with Eckhouse.
• Eckhouse looked like someone who would have been against the Vietnam War. They would not have done such a plot, in season 3, if Lyman Ward were Jim Walsh. He didn’t have that same look.
• Rosin had seen Eckhouse on TV, on 30 Something.
• Eckhouse had another audition on the same day as Beverly Hills, 90210. He had a snooty attitude about Beverly Hills, 90210. He didn’t think he was going to do that show. He didn’t even know why he was there.
• His wife, said to get his ass to the Beverly Hills, 90210 audition.
• His other audition was afterwards.
• He doesn’t remember what the other audition was for.
• Eckhouse went straight to the Producers’ audition. He didn’t have to do a round before.
• Young had really liked Eckhouse as a person, as well as his credits. She also liked how “easy” he was. She was comfortable with him. That’s an important quality for her.
• Eckhouse teaches acting now.
• Eckhouse tells a story of how he went to New York to audition for a movie. He would prepare for his scenes. When he’d get there, he’s ask if they wanted him to read for him. They’d say no, they just wanted to get a feel for how he was as a person. So he would get cast, just based off of his personality, at a certain point. They would already know his credits and know he could act.

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• Young auditioned Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Affleck came in a few times. Eventually, he stopped.
• Damon would keep coming back, every single time. Young told Damon she’s sorry to keep dragging him in, only to tell him they went with somebody else. Damon told her never worry about him not coming in. He’s always going to come in.
• Eckhouse says there’s one show where he went in 17 times to audition. He’s not going to name the show. He eventually got a part on his 17th audition.
• Eckhouse did not think he did a good audition for Beverly Hills, 90210. It wasn’t his finest hour. He didn’t think he’d get called back.
• He did better during the callback.
• When Eckhouse went to the network audition, he was intimidated by another actor who looked Christian and Scottish.
• Then there was someone else who had tall, dark hair.
• Ken Campbell was also in the audition.
• Eckhouse and Luke Perry were in the bathroom together. Perry almost threw up, from the nerves.
• That’s where Perry and Eckhouse met for the first time, in the bathroom. They loved each other right away.
• Eckhouse really thought Campbell was going to get the part.
• When Eckhouse came back for the network audition, Eckhouse was broke and poor, with two kids. He called his agent. Eckhouse told the agent he didn’t do that well. The agent went to find out what happened. The agent then called Eckhouse back and said, “you were right, you did suck. But you got the part.”
• Rosin said Eckhouse’ previous credits were a huge positive factor.
• Eckhouse was the 2nd highest paid actor during most of the Rosin era.
• During that same network audition, Rosin was confused about something himself. He didn’t know if he worked for Aaron Spelling or someone else. Rosin got confirmation that it was Aaron Spelling.
• Aaron Spelling was always nice to Young.
• When Young’s grandmother passed away, Spelling said how sorry he was, and gave her a big hug.
• When Eckhouse was a director and cast people on another show, it was terrifying. If he said “so and so was pretty good”, someone else in the room would say that person was terrible.
• If Eckhouse saw someone didn’t give their best audition, he’d ask them to do another take, because he could tell they were nervous.
• People from the network would tell Eckhouse, “how dare you waste my time like that. You knew we weren’t going to cast them.”
• Eckhouse would think “give me a break, I just wanted to give them a chance.”
• Eckhouse liked working with the directors on this show, Beverly Hills, 90210. He liked observing them.
• When it was Eckhouse’s first time directing, certain cast members were late. Eckhouse kept looking at his watch. DP Rick Gunter came over and said “let me see your watch”. Eckhouse gave him his watch. Gunter said you’ll get it back at the end of the episode. “That’s not your job.” Let the AD take care of that. You do your job.

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• Leslie Bega (Marianne) reminded Rosin of girls from his high school. Anti materialistic.
• He was surprised the company didn’t try to bring her back.
• Young says she was terrific in the pilot.
• Young would always meet anyone agents and managers recommended her to.
• Young: You can also find good young actors in local theater. The tiniest theater in San Fernando Valley will still have someone that Young would want to bring in.
• Rosin agrees with Young about local theater.
• For the character of Nat, Young brought in Frank Gorshin. Joe E. Tata was a friend of Tony Shepherd’s. So that’s how Tata was brought in. Young says their auditions were similar but different.
• In a previous podcast, Rosin had said that Gorshin had an arrogant vibe. He had played The Riddler on Batman.
• Rosin says Joe E. Tata brought in warmth. Whereas Gorshin played it as someone who didn’t want to be there, but would offer sage advice.
• Rosin says Joe E. Tata was introduced to him as a friend of E. Duke Vincent’s.
• The Spelling company paid for overages with Luke Perry’s contract.
• E. Duke Vincent told Rosin that anytime the network asked someone to change something, ask them who is paying for it.
• Rosin says Beverly Hills, 90210 had the lowest license fee in all of network television.
• They haven’t been able to find Lisa Dean Ryan, who played Bonnie on “The Gentle Art Of Listening”.
• Young says maybe she’s moved on to other interests.
• Rosin says Lisa Dean Ryan, and Noelle Parker, had a range of talent.
• Young had hired Ann Gillespie elsewhere before Beverly Hills, 90210.
• Young liked Tico Wells right away. Her advice to him for the next callback was “don’t do too much”.
• Young met Luisa Leschin (Anna Rodriguez) earlier.
• Rosin used to teach an extension class at UCLA. He used to use the pilot for Hill Street Blues as an example. He would even bring in Bob Butler to come in and watch the episode with the class. The pilot had changed his life. But now, he says the pilot does not hold up. It’s too racist and sexist.
• Beverly Hills was run by the nannies and housekeepers. So Rosin wanted to have a maid character, to represent that. And show the diversity of Los Angeles.
• Aaron Spelling did not like the elitism that was shown in the culture of Beverly Hills. So he asked for her character to be removed.
• Young did hear the criticism about people of color not being on the show. Young said it was disappointing to hear, because she did try to bring in different people.
• There was an author that thought Mark Damon Espinoza didn’t have a big enough role. That author went on FOX News to talk about it. Young had that author meet with producer Paul Waigner. Things did not get resolved, and that author remained angry.
• Rosin repeats what he said earlier, about the show having the lowest license fee in television. They didn’t have the budget for new cast members. That’s why they kept having focused episodes about race like “One On One” or “East Side Story”.
• They were eventually able to cast Denise Dowse and Henry Pickens in recurring roles.
• They made sure the extras reflected the racial diversity of Los Angeles.
• Rosin repeats what he said on previous episodes, that he won an Imagen Award for East Side Story. That’s an award that celebrates Latino actors and their positive portrayal.
• Young: Denise Dowse was a delight to sit and talk to. She’s likable.
• There’s a story about Denise Dowse on Seinfeld, but Young says she’s not going to share that story.
• Ok, she ended up telling the story. Young gave Dowse a message to give to Jerry Seinfeld, during the time Seinfeld was working on Seinfeld. Dowse gave Jerry Seinfeld the message, and he doubled over in laughter.
• Kristin Dattilo was on “One Man And A Baby”. She also read for Brenda Walsh.
• Here’s the actors that read for either of Kelly, Brenda, or Andrea: Kirstin Dattilo (Melissa in this series), Robin Lively, Tamara Glen, Kelly Williams, Sarah Buxton, Patricia Arquette, Brooke Mills, Julie Condra, Jaycee Brownlee, Heather McAdam (Surf Betty / Sarah on this series), Cheryl Pollock, Sydney Penny, Heather Grimes, Portia Dawson, Kendra Booth, Patricia Jennings, Megan Ward, Lisa Wilcox, Nicole Egbert, Tiffani Amber-Thiessen, Lisa Ann Capps, Deborah Levin, Jennifer Guthrie, Juliet Lewis, Tiffany (the mononymous singer), Karla Montana, Tracey Needham, Tracy Wells, Rebecca Cross, Kristy Swanson.
• Pete Ferriero can’t find Michelle Abrahms (Amanda Peyser).
• Julie McCulloh (Trina on “Slumber Party”) used to be on Growing Pains. She was removed from Growing Pains because she was in Playboy, and Kirk Cameron didn’t like that.
• Young was on Growing Pains at that time.
• “Slumber Party” is Rosin’s favorite episode among ones he didn’t work on.
• Rosin bought Playboy because of the interviews with Huey Newton and Tom Hayden. Those guys were not going to be on the LA Times.
• Ferriero says his first Playboy was the one with Julie McCulloh, because of her.
• Rosin likes Joshua Karton (Driver’s Ed instructor). He was one of Rosin’s friends.
• Aaron Spelling did not like that character.
• Jessica Klein’s first episode was “April Is The Cruelest Month”, the episode with Matthew Perry. Rosin says maybe Shira Wasserman (Klein’s daughter) will help do a podcast for that episode.
• Young knew Matthew Perry from before. It was a great reading.
• Michael Cudlitz (Tony Miller, later in the series) also read for that same part as Matthew Perry. Cudlitz did a great job too.
• Rosin liked how Matthew Perry was a youth champion Canadian tennis player. Rosin liked casting people that could play the sport. So he also liked Tico Wells from One On One.
• Ian Ziering and Jason Priestley could also really play basketball.
• Years later, Rosin saw Matthew Perry playing tennis at Beverly Hills High School. Rosin was too shy to go up to him and say “remember when you did my episode”. Rosin regrets that shyness now.
• Young had also worked with Matt LeBlanc elsewhere, on Just The 10 Of Us.
• Young had hired Jennifer Anniston on a pilot before.
• Young also cast Marcy Kaplan (Lydia Leeds).
• Melissa Rivers is in “Fame Is Where You Find It”.
• Young had tried to get Tori Spelling cast before. It was for another 1 hour show. The producer said she was terrific but she doesn’t need the job. Young said Tori Spelling shouldn’t be penalized for who her father is. She’s trying to build a resume.
• Young has said she’s always tried to give people who are 2nd generation people in the entertainment industry, a fair chance.
• Melissa Rivers is another example of this.
• Carrie Hamilton from the “Stand And Deliver” episode is another example.

I got a really bad registration time and also had lots of schedule conflicts, so I have to take Hsu Ken for OChem 1. For anyone who did well in this class (I'm talking at least a B+, A-, A), what advice would you give to do well in this course? Does attending office hours whenever possible help a lot, and are the TAs good? Does reading the textbook help a lot with learning and studying? Is it best to do practice problems from the assigned textbook, or are there assigned homeworks and practice problems on Canvas?
Also I'm intending on learning a little bit of Ochem 1 during the summer, so just to clarify, is the Iverson Organic Chemistry textbook used in this course? What chapters, concepts and topics are heavily tested in this class?
Apologies for all of these questions, I'm just really nervous for this class and want to know how I can succeed.

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
Chapter 406
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The era of the Great Cataclysm, which began with the arrival of Demon King Asmodeus, was dark and chaotic. Yet, humanity not only recovered but also ascended to unprecedented heights of civilization.
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For some, however, there are things more important than elevators powered by magic stones or healing potions.
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"The internet has gotten faster."
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The man's voice held reverence as he adjusted his glasses.
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It was 11:30 AM. Behind him, the ramen simmered, complemented by a setting of cold rice and fresh kimchi.
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All preparations were complete. Exactly 3 minutes later, after adding two A-grade special eggs he had bought during a supermarket sale, and waiting just 2 more minutes, a perfect lunch would be served.
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Meanwhile, he would dispel his boredom with the pinnacle of modern innovation: the smartphone.
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"Let's check today's headlines."
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He hummed, scrolling through his phone.
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At 'Hunter University,' a favorite forum of his, new posts surged in popularity:
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1. [Victory streak continues. The monster legion nearly dissolved? UN Security Council declares, "Humanity prevails. Yet, the war wages on. Vigilance until the very end is crucial."]

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1. [The Sichuan miracle centers around Jin Tae-Kyung.]

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1. [National pride swells with emerging heroes, boosting K-POP and kimchi sales globally.]

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1. [In the lead-up to the Korea-US summit, President Dorambbu comments, "Is this the land of Jin Tae-Kyung? He's my hero."] [Note: I believe this is a reference to Donald Trump. If you look up u/dorambbu on YouTube, you'll see a channel that uses his image as the profile picture.]

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1. [Ares Guild's victories solidify their formidable reputation.]

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1. [President Shao Yang of China: "They are all heroes."]

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1. [Seaweed.com translates reactions from international netizens on the current situation. "Who exactly is Jumo that Koreans keep killing at every opportunity?"] [Note: this is a reference to chapter 390. Apparently after the MC wiped out the initial monster wave on the western front, many Koreans were suggesting that that day was to be named the "memorial day of the Jumo". "Jumo" translates literally to housewife or mother-in-law, but is used to describe a hostess who serves alcohol. In this case, "memorial day of the Jumo" would be a day where Jumos work themselves to death to bring alcohol to celebratory people. The joke here is that many foreigners don't understand what a Jumo is and assume that Koreans are just massacring their own people.]

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1. [Japanese Prime Minister Megumi Shinjiro: "The monster wave should be tackled in a fun, cool, and sexy manner." Asked to elaborate, he smirked, "To explain would be unsexy."] [Note: given that many world leaders' names have been changed only slightly so that their original reference is clear, I was expecting the same for the Japanese Prime Minister. However, I don't see any resemblance in the names of current and past Prime Ministers of Japan, so I'm not sure what's being referenced here. My best guess is that this is a reference to anime characters, but even then it doesn't really narrow down the list without knowing more about this Prime Minister.]

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1. [Russian President Purin, "To me, Shinjiro is like quantum mechanics. No matter how much I try, I cannot understand him."]

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1. [Web novelist-turned-prophet, Zero Big, announces a hiatus during an interview disrupted by an irate editor, leading to a 12-week recuperation. Despite injuries, a joyful Zero Big laughs, while his editor, Mr. Lee, laments, "This is inhumane."] [Note: quick reminder, Zero Big is the author of Murim Login.]

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"Wow. What a mess. It's total mayhem."
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A grin spread across his face as he continued scrolling, the stories about Jin Tae-Kyung filling him with immense pride.
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While some headlines seemed bizarre, they still stirred a profound sense of national pride within him.
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The comments section was on the brink of exploding.
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The activity on Hunter University is unprecedented. I've been a member since grade school, yet I've never seen such fervor;;
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└ The truly astonishing part is Jin Tae-Kyung. He single-handedly defeated ten thousand monsters. It's hard to believe even now. How is such a feat even possible?
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└ He's great, but let's get the facts straight. It wasn't ten thousand, but only a few thousand.
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└ Hahaha isn't that just as crazy?
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└ If you get hit by a goblin's poison dart, you'd be begging 'Please, gently!' — you're that guy who used the 'Aura Keyboard' last time, right? [Note: 'Aura Keyboard' is a reference to a shit talker in novel chapter 389.]
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But isn't Jin Tae-Kyung more than just an S-rank Hunter now? Are all S-rank Hunters this extraordinary?
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└ Even during the Great Cataclysm, such achievements were scarce; we should set Cheon Tae-Min apart as he's in a league of his own... But didn’t Lee Jeong-Ryong also accomplish similar feats during that time?
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└ Hmm. So he hasn’t reached Lee Jeong-Ryong’s level yet? That’s a letdown.
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└ ?? Does Lee Jeong-Ryong strike you as an old sage forgotten by time? Though overshadowed by Cheon Tae-Min, in terms of feats and influence, he ranks among the global elite;
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└ 222. Just last week, across all five fronts, he had the least casualties while devastating the monster legion. Jin Tae-Kyung is phenomenal, but Lee Jeong-ryong and the Ares Guild are on another level. The advancement on the northern front is especially rapid.
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└ Comments like this make me nervous. I fear the hotheaded youngsters will show up to challenge me again.
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└ Just block your IP address, you’ll be fine. But at this point, isn't this conflict nearly resolved? We're dominating the monsters with mobile tactics right now.
​
└ Undefeated for the past week;
​
└ The Arch Lich must be reeling. He concentrated all his might on a surprise attack last week only to see it thoroughly repelled. The Death Knight Lord perished, and those who escaped are being hunted down as we speak. It looks bleak for them.
​
Shouldn't the Arch Lich step up his game now? This silence is suspicious.
​
└ I thought the same, so I sent a KakaoTalk message yesterday to check in.
​
└ ? To whom?
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└ To the Arch Lich. He said he's busy with a promotion battle. If he wins this round, he's moving up to gold and was pretty happy about it.
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└ The person above is crazy.
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└ What’s really bizarre is Zero Big taking a break now. You have to seize the moment when opportunity arises. It’s nonsensical.
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└ Enough with the absurdities. What matters is continuing this momentum to quell the monster wave without further severe setbacks. Let's hope for a swift resolution and honor those we've lost with a moment of silence.
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└ Hmm... I hate China, but yeah. Every country has both idiots and sane people. Cheers to all the Hunters and soldiers.
​
└ Cheers!
​
​
​
The prevailing sentiment among netizens was supportive and positive.
​
Initially viewed as a serious situation, the monster wave is now a source of national pride, and even the tributes to the fallen resonate with hope rather than despair.
​
'Well, there has been a lot of good news lately.'
​
The man nodded. It made sense. According to the latest reports from the UN Security Council, the situation had decisively improved.
​
Just a week ago, a coordinated surprise assault on five fronts inflicted substantial losses, but swift reinforcements turned the tide, leading to consecutive victories.
​
'At this rate, it might end in a few days.'
​
The momentum seemed unstoppable. Particularly noteworthy were the fronts led by Jin Tae-Kyung in the west and Lee Jeong-Ryong in the north.
​
'This brat. I was quite worried at first, but he's doing even better than I thought.'
​
After reflecting for a moment, the man logged into the forum and contributed his own comment.
​
​
​
Jin Tae-Kyung's Roommate: Can you believe this is the same Jin Tae-Kyung who used to be such a loser? This new Jin Tae-Kyung is a legend. Back in the day, we used to eat ramen together all the time, and to see him become an S-rank Hunter, and a legendary hero known as the strongest in the world... it truly moves me...
​
​
​
No sooner had he posted his comment than responses began to pour in.
​
Song Jin-Ho, smiling contentedly at his phone, suddenly remembered something crucial.
​
"Oh no! My ramen!"
​
​
​
* * *
​
​
​
"Ah, I'm craving ramen."
​
Hearing me mutter, Mr. Choi, who had just recuperated and returned to the front on a jet last night, inquired,
​
"All of a sudden?"
​
"I know, right? That's weird."
​
"Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung never ceases to astonish."
​
Swoosh!
​
The [Hero's Soul] cleaved through both the Lizard Man’s weapon and body like a beam of light.
​
As green blood spurted and a vile odor filled the air, my appetite vanished, and I surged forward.
​
Ssssshhh, Kwaah!
​
Flame-Extinguishing Divine Fist.
​
A fierce heat consumed dozens of Lizard Men, incinerating them. The hesitating monsters appeared as though they were a defeated army.
​
Sensing the battle's momentum, Shao Shen led the charge, bellowing,
​
「Charge! Charge!」
​
「Raaaaa!」
​
「Blades of the wind, come forth! Wind Cutter!」
​
Sssshhhh!
​
Clang! Swoosh!
​
- Kueeeek!
​
- Kiyuk, cough!
​
Our assault was relentless, overpowering the monsters without giving them a chance to respond.
​
Though our numbers were matched, the monsters could not rival the morale and caliber of our forces.
​
As the frontline disintegrated like a sandcastle, fear took hold among the monsters. Several began to turn and flee.
​
'At this rate, a total collapse is all but guaranteed to follow.'
​
Fear spreads like wildfire.
​
Once one flees, ten follow, soon triggering a full-scale, uncontrollable retreat.
​
Indeed, my prediction proved accurate, and victory shouts soon filled the air.
​
「Chase them! Don't let a single one escape!」
​
「Quick, cast a speed buff!」
​
「Ranged units! Ready, fire!」
​
Sssshhhh! Boom!
​
Energized by victory, the Hunters began ruthlessly cutting down the fleeing monsters, disregarding their usual formations.
​
Within moments, the six-lane asphalt road that, just a month ago, would have teemed with cars, now lay carpeted with monster corpses.
​
"We've won again."
​
After the battle, Mr. Choi approached as I inspected my equipment. I shrugged.
​
"You don't look too happy about sharing good news."
​
"That's strange. I was just thinking the same thing as I looked at Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung."
​
"...Hmm."
​
It appeared we shared similar sentiments.
​
Despite our victories, I felt no elation.
​
This disconnection began on the second day of our counteroffensive.
​
"What do you think, Mr. Choi?"
​
"What are you asking about? The reduced numbers and strength of the monsters? Or the dozens of victories over the past week?"
​
"Both."
​
"Probably the same as what Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung is thinking. The current situation is certainly encouraging, but... something feels off."
​
Mr. Choi glanced at the jubilant crowd.
​
Exhausted yet hopeful faces longed for the end of the war and a return to their families.
​
"It's not that I don't understand. There were so many high-level monsters at the start of the war. If they had lost their elite troops, this situation could have developed. But..."
​
"The Arch Lich. The problem is that it's unlikely he'd let this happen so easily. Isn't that right, Mr. Choi?"
​
Mr. Choi nodded slowly and inquired,
​
"Do the higher-ups share our thoughts?"
​
"Probably. I don't know about the other S-rank Hunters, but the Minister of National Defense Wei Feng-Hu is certainly aware."
​
"That's reassuring, but..."
​
Mr. Choi’s voice faded, reflecting the unease I felt.
​
Now, as we neared our destination, Suining City.
​
What could the Arch Lich, conspicuously absent throughout the conflict, be plotting now?
​
- Hmm. Around this time, he'd be oiling his bones. After all, even an undead needs to be well-maintained to look splendid.
​
"..."
​
Shut up.
​
​
​
* * *
​
​
​
Swoooosh.
​
An immense void. Darkness spiraled inward toward a central focal point.
​
As the opaque blackness dissipated, stray beams of light from the setting sun poured through the broken windows, illuminating a figure.
​
- Come forth, great adversary.
​
Spoken with a voice as cold as the winter wind, the Arch Lich's eyes sparkled with concentrated magical energy.
​
Previous Table of Contents Next

Leaked 2017 Gangstalker Recruitment Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxxxpd7UqmE
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SECURITY INDUSTRY SPECIALIST TELLS ALL: Bryan Kofron Original Podcast #1 from Gangstalkerwars.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcDBS2HE-70
​
Kenneka Jenkins case azariah exposes the gang stalking program and exposes her Handler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbMsQdvEJMM
​

Patents for Mind Control Technology

https://fightingmonarch.com/2018/05/06/patents-for-mind-control-technology/
May 6, 2018 fightingmonarch
Below please find over one hundred patents for some of the mind control technology that is being used against us. You may find it useful for court cases, further investigation, and general informational purposes.
In The Minds of Men, a film by Aaron and Melissa Dykes, you can learn how the CIA developed this technology as early as the 1950s, implanting people with it.
Cybernetics and The Minds of Men
And at least as early as the 1960s, CIA was using microwaves to activate the technology they implanted in us, you know, like the ones that come from the HAARP array, 5G, or all those “cellphone towers” you see….
CIA Mind Control: Doctors Who Stand Against Microwave Harassment
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I have attached below some links to my articles on the applications of this technology, how to spot it, and how to fight back.
Mind Control & Misdiagnosis of Physical & Behavioral Symptoms
How To Spot Mind Control Through Unusual Speech Patterns
V2K – Voice To Skull
Some of the assignees or holders of the patents with possibly deep pockets, making attractive defendants for a lawsuit, include Accenture Global Services Ltd.; Advanced Neurotechnologies, Inc.; Alliant Technosystems Inc.; American Science and Engineering Inc.; American Scientific Innovations LLC; American Tech Corp.; California Institute of Technology; Dorne and Margolin Inc.; Dream Weaver JV; General Dynamics Corp.; Georgia Tech Research Corp.; Google Technology Holdings; Intelligent Tech International Inc.; International Business Machines Corp.; Interstate Industries, Inc. d/b/a Hemi-Sync; Leland Stanford Junior University; Life Science and Technology LLC; Lockheed Martin Coherent Tech Inc.; Lockheed Martin Corp.; Lockheed Martin Energy Systems Inc.; Mentec AG; Micron Devices LLC; Motorola Mobility LLC; PhiloMetron Inc.; Pioneer Corp.; Proactive Systems Inc.; Procter and Gamble Co.; Quantum Devices Inc.; Raytheon; Rolls-Royce North American Technologies Inc.; STIMUTECH Inc.; Transparent Corp. Turtle Beach Corp.; University of Michigan; Universal Hedonics Inc.; VitrePixel Holdings LLC; and Wavestream Corp.
Otherwise, it’s hard to sue the government, but I also saw the U.S. Air Force listed as the assignee on at least one patent….
That shouldn’t be a surprise since they are now spraying us with nanotechnology on a regular basis.
Chemtrails, Smart Dust, & Mind Control

At any rate, here are the patents. Just reading some of them helped me to understand the attacks against me and to resist them. Round-robin voices–a man, woman, and child–at different frequencies–are just one example.
Hearing Device – US4858612 – Inventor, Phillip L. Stocklin – Assignee, Mentec AG. A method and apparatus for simulation of hearing in mammals by introduction of a plurality of microwaves into the region of the auditory cortex is shown and described. A microphone is used to transform sound signals into electrical signals which are in turn analyzed and processed to provide controls for generating a plurality of microwave signals at different frequencies. The multifrequency microwaves are then applied to the brain in the region of the auditory cortex. By this method sounds are perceived by the mammal which are representative of the original sound received by the microphone.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4858612
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Hearing System – US4877027 – Inventor & Assignee, Wayne B. Brunkan. Sound is induced in the head of a person by radiating the head with microwaves in the range of 100 megahertz to 10,000 megahertz that are modulated with a particular waveform. The waveform consists of frequency modulated bursts. Each burst is made up of ten to twenty uniformly spaced pulses grouped tightly together. The burst width is between 500 nanoseconds and 100 microseconds. The pulse width is in the range of 10 nanoseconds to 1 microsecond. The bursts are frequency modulated by the audio input to create the sensation of hearing in the person whose head is irradiated.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4877027
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Silent Subliminal Representation System – US5159703 – Inventor & Assignee, Oliver M. Lowery. A silent communications system in which nonaural carriers, in the very low or very high audio frequency range or in the adjacent ultrasonic frequency spectrum, are amplitude or frequency modulated with the desired intelligence and propagated acoustically or vibrationally, for inducement into the brain, typically through the use of loudspeakers, earphones or piezoelectric transducers. The modulated carriers may be transmitted directly in real time or may be conveniently recorded and stored on mechanical, magnetic or optical media for delayed or repeated transmission to the listener.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5159703
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Method and Device for Interpreting Concepts and Conceptual Thought from Brainwave Data & for Assisting for Diagnosis of Brainwave Disfunction – US5392788 – Inventor, William J. Hudspeth – Assignee, Samuel J. Leven. A system for acquisition and decoding of EP and SP signals is provided which comprises a transducer for presenting stimuli to a subject, EEG transducers for recording brainwave signals from the subject, a computer for controlling and synchronizing stimuli presented to the subject and for concurrently recording brainwave signals, and either interpreting signals using a model for conceptual perceptional and emotional thought to correspond EEG signals to thought of the subject or comparing signals to normative EEG signals from a normative population to diagnose and locate the origin of brain dysfunctional underlying perception, conception, and emotion.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5392788
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Method and an Associated Apparatus for Remotely Determining Information as to Person’s Emotional State – US5507291 – Inventors & Assignees, Robert C. Stirbl & Peter J. Wilk. In a method for remotely determining information relating to a person’s emotional state, an waveform energy having a predetermined frequency and a predetermined intensity is generated and wirelessly transmitted towards a remotely located subject. Waveform energy emitted from the subject is detected and automatically analyzed to derive information relating to the individual’s emotional state. Physiological or physical parameters of blood pressure, pulse rate, pupil size, respiration rate and perspiration level are measured and compared with reference values to provide information utilizable in evaluating interviewee’s responses or possibly criminal intent in security sensitive areas.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5507291
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Apparatus for Electric Stimulation of Auditory Nerves of a Human Being – US5922016 – Inventors & Assignees, Erwin & Ingeborg Hochmair. Apparatus for electric stimulation and diagnostics of auditory nerves of a human being, e.g. for determination of sensation level (SL), most conformable level (MCL) and uncomfortable level (UCL) audibility curves, includes a stimulator detachably secured to a human being for sending a signal into a human ear, and an electrode placed within the human ear and electrically connected to the stimulator by an electric conductor for conducting the signals from the stimulator into the ear. A control unit is operatively connected to the stimulator for instructing the stimulator as to characteristics of the generated signals being transmitted to the ear.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5922016
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Brain Wave Inducing System – US5954629 – Inventors, Masatoshi Yanagidaira, Yuchi Kimikawa, Takeshi Fukami & Mitsuo Yasushi – Assignee, Pioneer Corp. Sensors are provided for detecting brain waves of a user, and a band-pass filter is provided for extracting a particular brain waves including an α wave included in a detected brain wave. The band-pass filter comprises a first band-pass filter having a narrow pass band, and a second band-pass filter having a wide pass band. One of the first and second band-pass filters is selected, and a stimulation signal is produced in dependency on an α wave extracted by a selected band-pass filter. In accordance with the stimulation signal, a stimulation light is emitted to the user in order to induce the user to relax or sleeping state.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5954629
Layout Overlap Detection with Selective Flattening in Computer Implemented Integrated Circuit Design – US6011991 – Inventors, Wai-Yan Ho & Hongbo Tang – Assignee, Synopsys Inc. The present invention relates to a method for efficiently performing hierarchical design rules checks (DRC) and layout versus schematic comparison (LVS) on layout areas of an integrated circuit where cells overlap or where a cell and local geometry overlap. With the present invention, a hierarchical tree describes the integrated circuit’s layout data including cells having parent-child relationships and including local geometry. The present invention performs efficient layout verification by performing LVS and DRC checking on the new portions of an integrated circuit design and layout areas containing overlapping cells. When instances of cells overlap, the present invention determines the overlap area using predefined data structures that divide each cell into an array of spatial bins. Each bin of a parent is examined to determine if two or more cell instances reside therein or if a cell instance and local geometry reside therein. Once overlap is detected, the areas of the layout data corresponding to the overlap areas are selectively flattened prior to proceeding to DRC and LVS processing. During selective flattening of the overlap areas, the hierarchical tree is traversed from the top cell down through intermediate nodes to the leaf nodes. Each time geometry data is located during the traversal, it is pushes directly to the top cell without being stored in intermediate locations. This provides an effective mechanism for selective flattening.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6011991
Apparatus for Audibly Communicating Speech Using the Radio Frequency Hearing Effect – US6587729 – Inventors, James P. O’laughlin & Diana L. Loree – Assignee, US Air Force. A modulation process with a fully suppressed carrier and input preprocessor filtering to produce an encoded output; for amplitude modulation (AM) and audio speech preprocessor filtering, intelligible subjective sound is produced when the encoded signal is demodulated using the RF Hearing Effect. Suitable forms of carrier suppressed modulation include single sideband (SSB) and carrier suppressed amplitude modulation (CSAM), with both sidebands present.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6587729
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Coupling an Electronic Skin Tattoo to a Mobile Communication Device – US20130297301A1 – Inventor, William P. Alberth, Jr. – Assignee, Google Technology Holdings LLC (formerly Motorola Mobility LLC). A system and method provides auxiliary voice input to a mobile communication device (MCD). The system comprises an electronic skin tattoo capable of being applied to a throat region of a body. The electronic skin tattoo can include an embedded microphone; a transceiver for enabling wireless communication with the MCD; and a power supply configured to receive energizing signals from a personal area network associated with the MCD. A controller is communicatively coupled to the power supply. The controller can be configured to receive a signal from the MCD to initiate reception of an audio stream picked up from the throat region of the body for subsequent audio detection by the MCD under an improved signal-to-noise ratio than without the employment of the electronic skin tattoo.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US20130297301A1
Apparatus for Remotely Altering & Monitoring Brainwaves – US3951134 – Inventor, Robert G. Malech – Assignee, Dorne & Margolin Inc. Apparatus for and method of sensing brain waves at a position remote from a subject whereby electromagnetic signals of different frequencies are simultaneously transmitted to the brain of the subject in which the signals interfere with one another to yield a waveform which is modulated by the subject’s brain waves. The interference waveform which is representative of the brain wave activity is re-transmitted by the brain to a receiver where it is demodulated and amplified. The demodulated waveform is then displayed for visual viewing and routed to a computer for further processing and analysis. The demodulated waveform also can be used to produce a compensating signal which is transmitted back to the brain to effect a desired change in electrical activity therein.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3951134
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Auditory Subliminal Message System & Method – US4395600 – Inventors, Rene R. Lundy & David L. Tyler – Assignee, Proactive Systems Inc. Ambient audio signals from the customer shopping area within a store are sensed and fed to a signal processing circuit that produces a control signal which varies with variations in the amplitude of the sensed audio signals. A control circuit adjusts the amplitude of an auditory subliminal anti-shoplifting message to increase with increasing amplitudes of sensed audio signals and decrease with decreasing amplitudes of sensed audio signals. This amplitude controlled subliminal message may be mixed with background music and transmitted to the shopping area. To reduce distortion of the subliminal message, its amplitude is controlled to increase at a first rate slower than the rate of increase of the amplitude of ambient audio signals from the area. Also, the amplitude of the subliminal message is controlled to decrease at a second rate faster than the first rate with decreasing ambient audio signal amplitudes to minimize the possibility of the subliminal message becoming supraliminal upon rapid declines in ambient audio signal amplitudes in the area. A masking signal is provided with an amplitude which is also controlled in response to the amplitude of sensed ambient audio signals. This masking signal may be combined with the auditory subliminal message to provide a composite signal fed to, and controlled by, the control circuit.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4395600
Apparatus for Inducing Frequency Reduction in Brain Wave – US4834701 – Inventor, Kazumi Masaki – Assignee, Ken Hayashibara. Frequency reduction in human brain wave is inducible by allowing human brain to perceive 4-16 hertz beat sound. Such beat sound can be easily produced with an apparatus, comprising at least one sound source generating a set of low-frequency signals different each other in frequency by 4-16 hertz. Electroencephalographic study revealed that the beat sound is effective to reduce beta-rhythm into alpha-rhythm, as well as to retain alpha-rhythm.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4834701
Method & System for Altering Consciousness – US5123899 – Inventor & Assignee, James Gall. A system for altering the states of human consciousness involves the simultaneous application of multiple stimuli, preferable sounds, having differing frequencies and wave forms. The relationship between the frequencies of the several stimuli is exhibited by the equation
g=s.sup.n/4 ·f where f=frequency of one stimulus; g=frequency of the other stimuli of stimulus; and n=a positive or negative integer which is different for each other stimulus. Click on Link for Full Patent: US5123899
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Method of and Apparatus for Inducing Desired States of Consciousness – US5356368 – Inventor, Robert A. Monroe – Assignee, Interstate Industries Inc. Improved methods and apparatus for entraining human brain patterns, employing frequency following response (FFR) techniques, facilitate attainment of desired states of consciousness. In one embodiment, a plurality of electroencephalogram (EEG) waveforms, characteristic of a given state of consciousness, are combined to yield an EEG waveform to which subjects may be susceptible more readily. In another embodiment, sleep patterns are reproduced based on observed brain patterns during portions of a sleep cycle; entrainment principles are applied to induce sleep. In yet another embodiment, entrainment principles are applied in the work environment, to induce and maintain a desired level of consciousness. A portable device also is described.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5356368
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Acoustic Heterodyne Device & Method – US5889870 – Inventor, Elwood G. Norris – Assignee, Turtle Beach Corp. (formerly American Tech Corp.) The present invention is the emission of new sonic or subsonic compression waves from a region resonant cavity or similar of interference of at least two ultrasonic wave trains. In one embodiment, two ultrasonic emitters are oriented toward the cavity so as to cause interference between emitted ultrasonic wave trains. When the difference in frequency between the two ultrasonic wave trains is in the sonic or subsonic frequency range, a new sonic or subsonic wave train of that frequency is emitted from within the cavity or region of interference in accordance with the principles of acoustical heterodyning. The preferred embodiment is a system comprised of a single ultrasonic radiating element oriented toward the cavity emitting multiple waves.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5889870
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Apparatus & Method of Broadcasting Audible Sound Using Ultrasonic Sound as a Carrier – US60552336 – Inventor & Assignee, Austin Lowrey III. An ultrasonic sound source broadcasts an ultrasonic signal which is amplitude and/or frequency modulated with an information input signal originating from an information input source. If the signals are amplitude modulated, a square root function of the information input signal is produced prior to modulation. The modulated signal, which may be amplified, is then broadcast via a projector unit, whereupon an individual or group of individuals located in the broadcast region detect the audible sound.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6052336
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Pulsative Manipulation of Nervous Systems – US6091994 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Method and apparatus for manipulating the nervous system by imparting subliminal pulsative cooling to the subject’s skin at a frequency that is suitable for the excitation of a sensory resonance. At present, two major sensory resonances are known, with frequencies near 1/2 Hz and 2.4 Hz. The 1/2 Hz sensory resonance causes relaxation, sleepiness, ptosis of the eyelids, a tonic smile, a “knot” in the stomach, or sexual excitement, depending on the precise frequency used. The 2.4 Hz resonance causes the slowing of certain cortical activities, and is characterized by a large increase of the time needed to silently count backward from 100 to 60, with the eyes closed. The invention can be used by the general public for inducing relaxation, sleep, or sexual excitement, and clinically for the control and perhaps a treatment of tremors, seizures, and autonomic system disorders such as panic attacks. Embodiments shown are a pulsed fan to impart subliminal cooling pulses to the subject’s skin, and a silent device which induces periodically varying flow past the subject’s skin, the flow being induced by pulsative rising warm air plumes that are caused by a thin resistive wire which is periodically heated by electric current pulses.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6091994
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Method & Device for Implementing Radio Frequency Hearing Effect – US6470214 – Inventors, James P. O’Loughlin & Diana Loree. Assignee, US Air Force. A modulation process with a fully suppressed carrier and input preprocessor filtering to produce an encoded output; for amplitude modulation (AM) and audio speech preprocessor filtering, intelligible subjective sound is produced when the encoded signal is demodulated using the RF Hearing Effect. Suitable forms of carrier suppressed modulation include single sideband (SSB) and carrier suppressed amplitude modulation (CSAM), with both sidebands present.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6470214
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Method & Device for Producing a Desired Brain State – US6488617 – Inventor, Bruce F. Katz – Assignee, Universal Hedonics. A method and device for the production of a desired brain state in an individual contain means for monitoring and analyzing the brain state while a set of one or more magnets produce fields that alter this state. A computational system alters various parameters of the magnetic fields in order to close the gap between the actual and desired brain state. This feedback process operates continuously until the gap is minimized and/or removed.
📷
Multifunctional Radio Frequency Directed Energy System – US7629918 – Inventors, Kenneth W. Brown, David J. Canich & Russell F. Berg – Assignee, Raytheon Co. An RFDE system includes an RFDE transmitter and at least one RFDE antenna. The RFDE transmitter and antenna direct high power electromagnetic energy towards a target sufficient to cause high energy damage or disruption of the target. The RFDE system further includes a targeting system for locating the target. The targeting system includes a radar transmitter and at least one radar antenna for transmitting and receiving electromagnetic energy to locate the target. The RFDE system also includes an antenna pointing system for aiming the at least one RFDE antenna at the target based on the location of the target as ascertained by the targeting system. Moreover, at least a portion of the radar transmitter or the at least one radar antenna is integrated within at least a portion of the RFDE transmitter or the at least one RFDE antenna.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US7629918
Nervous System Excitation Device – US3393279 – Inventor, Flanagan Gillis Patrick – Assignee, Biolectron Inc. (Listening Inc.) A METHOD OF TRANSMITTING AUDIO INFORMATION TO THE BRAIN OF SUBJECT THROUGH THE NERVOUS SYSTEM OF THE SUBJECT WHICH METHOD COMPRISES, IN COMBINATION, THE STEPS OF GENERATING A RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL HAVING A FREQUENCY IN EXCESS OF THE HIGHERST FREQUENCY OF THE AUDIO INFORMATTION TO BE TRANSMITTED, MODULATING SAID RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL WITH THE AUDIO INFORMATION TO BE TRANSMITTED, AND APPLYING SAID MODULATED RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL TO A PAIR OF INSULATED ELECTRODES AND PLACING BOTH OF SAID INSULATED ELECTRODE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH THE SKIN OF SAID SUBJECT, THE STRETCH OF SAID RADIO FREQUENCY ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD BEING HIGH ENOUGH AT THE SKIN SURFACE TO CAUSE THE SENSATION OF HEARING THE AUDIO INFORMATION MODULATED THEREON IN THE BRAIN OF SAID SUBJECT AND LOW ENOUGH SO THAT SAID SUBJECT EXPERIENCES NO PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3393279
Method & System for Simplifying Speech Wave Forms – US3647970 – Inventor & Assignee, Gillis P. Flanagan. A speech waveform is converted to a constant amplitude square wave in which the transitions between the amplitude extremes are spaced so as to carry the speech information. The system includes a pair of tuned amplifier circuits which act as high-pass filters having a 6 decibel per octave slope from 0 to 15,000 cycles followed by two stages, each comprised of an amplifier and clipper circuit, for converting the filtered waveform to a square wave. A radio transmitter and receiver having a plurality of separate channels within a conventional single side band transmitter bandwidth and a system for transmitting secure speech information are also disclosed.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3647970
Intra-Oral Electronic Tracking Device – US6239705 – Inventor & Assignee, Jeffrey Glen. An improved stealthy, non-surgical, biocompatable electronic tracking device is provided in which a housing is placed intraorally. The housing contains microcircuitry. The microcircuitry comprises a receiver, a passive mode to active mode activator, a signal decoder for determining positional fix, a transmitter, an antenna, and a power supply. Optionally, an amplifier may be utilized to boost signal strength. The power supply energizes the receiver. Upon receiving a coded activating signal, the positional fix signal decoder is energized, determining a positional fix. The transmitter subsequently transmits through the antenna a position locating signal to be received by a remote locator. In another embodiment of the present invention, the microcircuitry comprises a receiver, a passive mode to active mode activator, a transmitter, an antenna and a power supply. Optionally, an amplifier may be utilized to boost signal strength. The power supply energizes the receiver. Upon receiving a coded activating signal, the transmitter is energized. The transmitter subsequently transmits through the antenna a homing signal to be received by a remote locator.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6239705
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Method & Apparatus for Analyzing Neurological Response to Emotion-Inducing Stimuli – US6292688 – Inventor, Richard E. Patton – Assignee, Advanced Neurotechnologies, Inc. A method of determining the extent of the emotional response of a test subject to stimului having a time-varying visual content, for example, an advertising presentation. The test subject is positioned to observe the presentation for a given duration, and a path of communication is established between the subject and a brain wave detectoanalyzer. The intensity component of each of at least two different brain wave frequencies is measured during the exposure, and each frequency is associated with a particular emotion. While the subject views the presentation, periodic variations in the intensity component of the brain waves of each of the particular frequencies selected is measured. The change rates in the intensity at regular periods during the duration are also measured. The intensity change rates are then used to construct a graph of plural coordinate points, and these coordinate points graphically establish the composite emotional reaction of the subject as the presentation continues.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6292688
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Portable & Hand-Held Device for Making Humanly Audible Sounds Responsive to the Detecting of Ultrasonic Sounds – US6426919 – Inventor & Assignee, William A. Gerosa. A portable and hand-held device for making humanly audible sounds responsive to the detecting of ultrasonic sounds. The device includes a hand-held housing and circuitry that is contained in the housing. The circuitry includes a microphone that receives the ultrasonic sound, a first low voltage audio power amplifier that strengthens the signal from the microphone, a second low voltage audio power amplifier that further strengthens the signal from the first low voltage audio power amplifier, a 7-stage ripple carry binary counter that lowers the frequency of the signal from the second low voltage audio power amplifier so as to be humanly audible, a third low voltage audio power amplifier that strengthens the signal from the 7-stage ripple carry binary counter, and a speaker that generates a humanly audible sound from the third low voltage audio power amplifier.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6426919
Signal Injection Coupling into the Human Vocal Tract for Robust Audible & Inaudible Voice Recognition – US6487531 – Inventors & Assignees, Carol A. Tosaya & John W. Sliwa, Jr. A means and method are provided for enhancing or replacing the natural excitation of the human vocal tract by artificial excitation means, wherein the artificially created acoustics present additional spectral, temporal, or phase data useful for (1) enhancing the machine recognition robustness of audible speech or (2) enabling more robust machine-recognition of relatively inaudible mouthed or whispered speech. The artificial excitation (a) may be arranged to be audible or inaudible, (b) may be designed to be non-interfering with another user’s similar means, (c) may be used in one or both of a vocal content-enhancement mode or a complimentary vocal tract-probing mode, and/or (d) may be used for the recognition of audible or inaudible continuous speech or isolated spoken commands.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6487531
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Nervous System Manipulation by Electromagnetic Fields from Monitors – US6506148 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Physiological effects have been observed in a human subject in response to stimulation of the skin with weak electromagnetic fields that are pulsed with certain frequencies near ½ Hz or 2.4 Hz, such as to excite a sensory resonance. Many computer monitors and TV tubes, when displaying pulsed images, emit pulsed electromagnetic fields of sufficient amplitudes to cause such excitation. It is therefore possible to manipulate the nervous system of a subject by pulsing images displayed on a nearby computer monitor or TV set. For the latter, the image pulsing may be imbedded in the program material, or it may be overlaid by modulating a video stream, either as an RF signal or as a video signal. The image displayed on a computer monitor may be pulsed effectively by a simple computer program. For certain monitors, pulsed electromagnetic fields capable of exciting sensory resonances in nearby subjects may be generated even as the displayed images are pulsed with subliminal intensity.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6506148
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Apparatus To Effect Brainwave Entrainment over Premises Power-Line Wiring – US8579793 – Inventor, James David Honeycutt & John Clois Honeycutt, Jr. – Assignee, James David Honeycutt. This invention discloses an apparatus and method to affect brainwave entrainment by Very Low Frequency eXclusive-OR (XOR) modulation of a Very High Frequency carrier over a premise’s power-line Alternating Current (AC) wiring. A microcontroller with stored program memory space is used to store and produce the waveforms that lead to brainwave entrainment by controlling an H-Bridge capable of generating bipolar square waves, which output is capacitive coupled to a premises AC power-line and a light sensing device is used by the microcontroller to determine whether to produce daytime or nighttime entrainment frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US8579793
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Method & System for Brain Entrainment – US20140309484A1 – Inventor & Assignee, Daniel Wonchul Chong. The present invention is a method of modifying music files to induce a desired state of consciousness. First and second modulations are introduced into a music file such that, when the music file is played, both of the modulations occur simultaneously. Additional modulations can be introduced, as well as sound tones at window frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US20140309484A1
Method of Inducing Harmonious States of Being – US6135944 – Inventors, Gerard D. Bowman, Edward M. Karam & Steven C. Benson – Assignee, Gerard D. Bowman. A method of inducing harmonious states of being using vibrational stimuli, preferably sound, comprised of a multitude of frequencies expressing a specific pattern of relationship. Two base signals are modulated by a set of ratios to generate a plurality of harmonics. The harmonics are combined to form a “fractal” arrangement.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6135944
Pulse Variability in Electric Field Manipulation of Nervous Systems – US6167304 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Apparatus and method for manipulating the nervous system of a subject by applying to the skin a pulsing external electric field which, although too weak to cause classical nerve stimulation, modulates the normal spontaneous spiking patterns of certain kinds of afferent nerves. For certain pulse frequencies the electric field stimulation can excite in the nervous system resonances with observable physiological consequences. Pulse variability is introduced for the purpose of thwarting habituation of the nervous system to the repetitive stimulation, or to alleviate the need for precise tuning to a resonance frequency, or to control pathological oscillatory neural activities such as tremors or seizures. Pulse generators with stochastic and deterministic pulse variability are disclosed, and the output of an effective generator of the latter type is characterized.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6167304
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Method & System for Brain Entertainment – US8636640 – Inventor, Daniel Wonchul Chang – Assignee, Brain Symphony LLC. The present invention is a method of modifying music files to induce a desired state of consciousness. First and second modulations are introduced into a music file such that, when the music file is played, both of the modulations occur simultaneously. Additional modulations can be introduced, as well as sound tones at window frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US8636640
Method & Apparatus for Manipulating Nervous Systems – US5782874 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus C. Loos. Apparatus and method for manipulating the nervous system of a subject through afferent nerves, modulated by externally applied weak fluctuating electric fields, tuned to certain frequencies such as to excite a resonance in certain neural circuits. Depending on the frequency chosen, excitation of such resonances causes relaxation, sleepiness, sexual excitement, or the slowing of certain cortical processes. The weak electric field for causing the excitation is applied to skin areas away from the head of the subject, such as to avoid substantial polarization current densities in the brain. By exploiting the resonance phenomenon, these physiological effects can be brought about by very weak electric fields produced by compact battery-operated devices with very low current assumption. The fringe field of doublet electrodes that form a parallel-plate condenser can serve as the required external electric field to be administered to the subject’s skin. Several such doublets can be combined such as to induce an electric field with short range, suitable for localized field administration. A passive doublet placed such as to face the doublet on either side causes a boost of the distant induced electric field, and allows the design of very compact devices. The method and apparatus can be used by the general public as an aid to relaxation, sleep, or arousal, and clinically for the control and perhaps the treatment of tremors and seizures, and disorders of the autonomic nervous system, such as panic attacks.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5782874
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I like to do wrestling related book reports, and in the past, this sub responded really well to my posts. Again, though, if y'all feel like this isn't the kind of content for this sub, let me know, and I'll post elsewhere.
Very, very short book that didn't detail too much, with a large portion being Billy just ranting on the history of wrestling or fighting.
As always, I attempted to keep to chronological order of events, even though Billy didn't tell a lot of this in order, and he never dated any story.
(Note: the number of guys named "Billy" in this post is just unreal and gave me a headache)
Billy describes how his dad, grandfather, uncle, and great-grandfather were all world-class boxers or fighters. He says his father taught him a ton of things to do in a fight and even underhanded tactics, like using a pencil to defend himself. Billy says a 4H pencil had the toughest lead that you could sharpen out and use as a weapon. The best part was that it wasn't classified as a weapon, so you could avoid the jail time that came with having knives.
Billy describes running home from school as 3 boys chased him. When he got home, crying, his dad asked him what was going on. After Billy explained, his dad said, "You can either fight the 3 of them or fight me." Billy chose the 3 boys, and his dad went with him to make sure the fights were 1 on 1. After Billy beat up the 1st two kids, the third one wanted none of it. Billy says this was the first time he saw his dad was proud of him.
Billy dreamed of being a pro boxer, but one day, as a child, he was struck in the eye by a metal sign that some other kids were playing with and severely tore his retina. He spent 6 weeks in the hospital, and his boxing dreams were over.
Billy's uncle wanted him to try out pro wrestling because it was popular in the 60s, but Billy's dad wanted him to do amature wrestling, though it wasn't as lucrative as pro wrestling. Eventually, Billy was brought to a local YMCA where he started to train amature.
Before long, Billy's dad relented and took him to Billy Riley's gym, the same place that Karl Gotch trained and that Dynamite Kid would go train at as well. Billy even met John Foley there, who would go on to be a feared shooter and manage Dynamite Kid in Stampede Wrestling. Though if that's the only place you know John Foley from, then you won't have a high opinion of him.
John Foley was a legit bad ass shooter for most of his career, who was known to take liberties with guys. By the time he got to Stampede Wrestling, though, he was an old timer who was more known as a drunk who everyone ribbed. One story suggests where he lost his nerve, and that would be the time he was being a little too physical in the ring with Lanny and Randy Poffo, prompting their dad Angelo came to the ring, and all 3 Poffo men beat the living shit out of Foley. Bret Hart says he "never lived it down."
Billy says the best match he ever saw was a "friendly" sparring contest between Jack Dempsey and John Foley that left both men with black eyes, broken noses and blood coming out of their ears and mouths. Billy says they were still close friends after.
Billy calls shoot fighting/grappling "physical chess," and he spent 12 years learning this at Reilly's Gym, also known as the Snake Pit.
Billy learned "catch-as-catch-can" (or Greco-Roman) wrestling in The Snake Pit from Charlie Carrol.
Charlie Carrol was 55 years old and 155 pounds to Billy's 6 foot 2, 190 pound 17 year old, but Charlie hurt Billy every single time they sparred. Billy says that Charlie kept him humble.
Billy puts over modern MMA fighters but says the best modern MMA fighter couldn't hold a candle to a mediocre 1930s catch wrestler.
It's not a long book, but a significant section early on is just Billy going over the history of catch fighting and amateur wrestling all the way back to the 1800s. He complains that modern amateur wrestling is all about power and maneuvering for points and says he doesn't even watch the Olympics anymore. It's actually super fascinating as he details various amature techniques used in different Olympic competitions and where they originated from.
He tells a story of how when he was a teenager, his coach Billy Riley (who was 55 years old) would walk with him down the street and often try to grapple with Billy or show him some maneuver right there and Billy says people would stare at them like they were homosexuals and says it was so embarrassing. At the time, homosexuality was illegal in England.
Billy Robinson is critical of modern coaching, which he says consists of the coach giving a ton of positive feedback. Billy Robinson won multiple amature championship tournaments and bouts but never heard a good word from Billy Riley. When Billy Robinson won his first amature world title, he remembered Riley saying, "That was good." Riley would later explain that it wasn't his job to tell Robinson what was good, but it was his job to tell Robinson what was wrong and where he can correct himself. Interesting take on coaching.
In 1956, Billy placed 3rd at the nationals for amature wrestling. In 1957, he won the nationals tournament! Riley told Billy Robinson, "You've won all the cups and the medals. Why don't you take me out and buy me a steak dinner?" When Billy Robinson said he couldn't afford to, Riley said to him, "It just goes to show you kid, you can't buy steak with medals. It's time you turned pro."
Billy says he regrets not putting pro wrestling off another couple of years. He thinks he should have been amature wrestling in the Olympics. He beat everyone who eventually wrestled on the Brittish team, and he thought he could have won a medal.
Billy turned pro at 19 years old and was asked to help get pro wrestling going in Sweden. The problem was that the Sweden Olympic amature wrestling team wouldn't allow it unless the pros proved they were legit and could beat them in an amateur contest. Billy beat them all, including Alex Gronburg, a 2 time Olympic champion and former world champion, and Gosta Andersson, who quit after a minute, saying, "Hey, it's too dangerous for us."
Billy Robinson asked to go to Spain and wrestle for a new promotion, but as he was getting ready to leave, his coach Billy Riley warned him that if he worked for that company he would be black balled out of most major European wrestling companies. Robinson told Riley that he had given his word, and he said this was the first time he ever went against Riley's suggestion.
It didn't matter because Billy said the Spain promotion fizzled out before he even got there, but no one told him, and he flew to Spain for no reason.
He ended up staying in Spain, living with someone Billy referred to as "the English professor" who introduced him to people like Earnist Hemmingway and Sophia Loren and got Billy work in a movie
One day, the professor told Billy that his name was in the newspaper, and sure enough, Billy was being advertised in a new wrestling promotion. When Billy called them, he was informed that they had a job for him. For 2 years, 1960-1961, Billy wrestled in Spain and made a name for himself.
Billy would wrestle in tournaments and other tours during this time as well, in places like Germany and Belgium.
It was at these tournaments when Billy started noticing guys wanting to train with him and only him. Billy days. "It was odd!"
Billy loved zoos and had opinions on the good ones. He says he could spend all day just watching gorillas
Billy says he didn't like France much, saying that compared to places like Germany, Switzerland, and Austria, France was pretty dirty and gross back then.
Billy seems to have loved Lebanon the most, and being a huge history buff, Billy goes on a tangent about the history of Lebanon.
Billy wrestled in India in 1962, and on the way back, he stopped in Lebabon right before a war broke out, and he had to quickly escape.
Billy says his father told him that he should pretend to not know English when traveling and not be identified as an English speaking person. He said this advice helped him his whole life while traveling.
The first time Billy got to India, he was shocked at the poverty and state of it. He remembers seeing dead animals all over the place and people sleeping in the streets among rats. Billy also puts over India and a big wrestling country and said he had a good time there.
Billy says he was fortunate to wrestle the original Dara Singh. Dara Singh was a huge name in India, and he eventually went to prison for killing 3 men. He did it because those 3 men killed his brother, so it was a revenge killing. Years later, he would be pardoned and released. This is when Billy beat him in India.
In India, it was legitimately against the law for a Muslim to wrestle against a Hindu, so the Muslim community "adopted" Billy Robinson as their guy to fight the Hundu guys. It's pretty fascinating imo.
After India, Billy wrestled in Napal and said he had a great time, even wrestling private matches for the King of Napal.
While in Napal, Billy was ribbed into approaching a live leopard and says it was the first time in his life that he ever felt fear.
Billy even helped some Americans set up a play for the King of Napal, where Billy was the stage manager and even took a couple of bumps on the hard wood floor. He says the King loved it so much that he called for an encore, so Billy had to do the painful bump again.
Billy recalls one time in Napal, a local accidently hit and killed a cow with his truck. Since cows were sacred, the man was killed right there, and his body hung from a lamppost.
While in Germany wrestling a tournament that was cross promoting with a ten pin bowling competition, Billy met his future wife Ursula. She was working on the bowling side and Billy on the wrestling side. Billy says when their eyes first locked, he was in the ring, and she was in the front row. Billy says, "It was the beginning of the end, for my single days." 18 months later she came to England and they got married.
Billy says he played some charity bowling games against the Beatles in the early 60s.
Dave Ruhl was an extremely popular face in Stampede Wrestling out of Calgary, and through his uncle Ray Steele, Dave got ahold of Billy and invited him to Calgary Billy says Stampede promoter Stu Hart saw Billy wrestle one match and then invite Billy to come to Stampede Wrestling.
While backstage at one of his first Stampede shows, he saw a bunch of big gues in the dressing room talking. Through eavesdropping, he heard them talking about football and asked them if they were wrestlers or football players. They said football players, and so Billy insisted they leave the dressing room. Things got tense and heated, but eventually, Billy made it clear that if they didn't leave, he would remove them. He says they all scurried out of the room and notes that one of them was a young Wayne Coleman, the future "Superstar" Billy Graham.
After reading Billy Graham's book, it's clear that these two fucking hated eachother, with Graham calling Billy a bully who took liberties with less experienced guys in the ring. In Graham's book, he details how poorly Robinson treated him when their paths crossed in Stampede Wrestling. Graham's book made no mention of Billy kicking him out of a locker room nor the supposed contract with Verne that forbade Robinson from hurting Graham.
Down the line when Billy came to Minnesota, Billy Robinson claimes that Billy Graham insisted that Verne write up a contract that prohibited Billy Robinson and Billy Graham from squaring up. I don't know the validity of this claim, but Billy Robinson says Billy Graham was so scared that he only came to Minnesota with the guarantee that Robinson wouldn't hurt him.
This claim about a contract and Graham refusing to work with Robinson, might come from the time in Minnesota when Graham opted out of working with him in favor of Wahoo McDaniel. One time they were matched up and Graham approached Robinson backstage and made a show of wrapping razor blades in his taped up hands, warning Robinson that if he attempted to shoot on him, that Graham would "shred you from your face to the tip of your toes." This is all from Graham's book, with Billy making no mention of it.
In Bruce Hart's book, he tells a story about how they had The Stomper penciled in to challenge NWA World Champion Dory Funk Jr, but they had The Stomper face Billy Robinson 2 weeks prior. The two meshed so poorly that it devolved into an ugly shoot, with the fans chanting boring at them. Eventually The Stomper left and got counted out, before getting to the back and telling Stu he is quitting. They had no choice but to put Robinson in his place, and while the match was amazing and Robinson would be a good face for Stampede at the time, even Bruce calls him a bully and finishes it by saying "here's not to you Mr Robinson, there is no place in Heaven for those who prey."
After Billy wrestled Dory Funk Jr in an 1 hour draw, and after Dory invited Billy to the States to wrestle.
Before heading over to the States full time, Billy did tours in England, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong and Australia where he won the World title for a company that Jim Barnett was promoting.
Billy met Jack Brisco in Australia, shortly after winning the world title there. Billy remembers there first match together, saying that Jack was trying to show off a little too much so Billy said he showed him a simple catch hold that put poor Jack in the hospital for a couple days! Billy says the 2 became friends and calls him a good amateur wrestler and great guy.
Jack Brisco was the one who first told Billy about "shoot wrestlers" in the States. Billy never heard the term before but says a shooter is just another word for catch wrestling.
Billy mentions a rib that Jack Brisco and Dick Murdoch played on him during that Australia tour. Dick introduced Billy to chewing tobacco and purposely misinformed Billy on how to enjoy it. Billy swallowed the juice and vomiting all over the place.
Another time, Jack and Billy were up in Billy's hotel room all night, talking holds and even practicing them on one another. It was middle of the night, so Billy was in his underwear when Jack asked him to go get the newspaper from down the hall. The second Billy got in the hallway, Jack locked him out and made Billy sneak back to his room a few floors up in just his boxers. Billy said this was the nicest hotel in Australia, too.
Billy says he got his first taste of American pro wrestling in Hawaii, where he wrestled for several months. Every single guy who writes a wrestling book inevitably ends up doing a tour in Hawaii.
It was in Hawaii where Billy met Verne Gagne, who was "wrestling" a tour there, but really, Verne was on vacation and wrestling as a means to vacation for free. A lot of guys did that with Hawaii back in the day.
Billy and Verne wrestled a tag team match together, and after Verne made sure to watch how Billy was as a singles wrestler. Verne asked Billy to come back to the mainland in 1972.
Verne even asked Billy to train his son Greg, and they ended up inviting several other guys to a small wrestling camp. The group consisted of Verne's son Greg, Ric Flair, Ken Patera, Jim Bunzell (who would later team with Ken in AWA and be one half of the Killer Bee's in the WWE), Bob Bruggers (a former Miami Dophins linebacker), and Hossien Khosrow Vaziri (the future Iron Shiek).
An infamous story happened at this camp, early on, Shiek was the only one of the 6 who had amateur experience, and one day he was boasting to the others about how neither Verne or Billy could get him on his back in an amateur bout. Billy heard about this and challenged him immediately to spar. Shiek was successful in holding his stance on his knees, with Billy unable to turn him. So Billy viciously dropped his knee into Shiek's thigh, fucking him up bad. Then Billy casually rolled Shiek over and said "told you I could flip you."
Billy acknowledges Sheik as a very good amateur but says he has a big head a big mouth. He knew Shiek wasn't familiar with catch-as-catch-can, ankle submissions, neck cranks or double wristlocks and took advantage of him. Billy just casually says "I knelt on his thigh in a way we do. He couldn't walk for two days and couldn't work out at the camp for two weeks."
Billy remembers a match he did early on working for Verne, where a fan in the front row was being obnoxious and screaming at Billy all match. After the bout, Billy went and picked the fan up out of his seat and smacked him a few times and notes how the fan stayed quiet the rest of the show. When he got to the back he was chewed our by Verne who was afraid of a lawsuit. Billy says the fan ended up getting tickets to a future show.
In the middle of the book he goes on a rant about the history of how wrestling started in carnival tents and how champions made money. He calls Gorgeous George a "carnie wrestler" and credits him for accelerating the change in how the general audience looks at pro wrestlers. He resents the sentiment that all wrestlers are showmanship guys and puts over himself and others like Lou Thesz as legit tough guys. Billy is always putting over his skills as catch fighter in the book.
Billy says he and Lou Thesz became pretty good friends.
Billy says Lou Thesz would call Ed "Strangler" Louis as the best wrestler of all time, while Billy says he would call Billy Joyce the best of all time. But he says that Billy Joyce said that George Gregory was the best of all time.
Billy describes one time he wrestled Verne Gagne with Lou Thesz as the special referee. Billy says that he and Verne weren't getting along at this point, so throughout the match, Billy was sorta abusing Verne and taunting him the whole time. Billy says he kept turning to Lou and saying "Look at this Lou!" And "What do you think of this Lou?" As he took advantage of Verne. Eventually Lou piped up and said, "Jesus Billy, take it easy on him, he is the boss."
Ed "Strangler" Louise had an "open" contract, meaning that if you were matched up against him and wanted to shoot, Ed encouraged it. What a badass.
John Pesek was a wrestler with legit Olynpic credentials. John Pesek decided to shoot on Ed Lewis when Ed was very sick and had boils all over. It was a hard fight but Ed won. Lou Thesz resented Pesek for attempting this and even had him black balled by the NWA later in his career. Lou never forgave John for shooting on Ed when Ed was sick and never admitted Pesek was talented in any way. Billy clarifies that John Pesek was legitimate in the ring and tells this story as a way to show Lou Thesz power back in those days.
Ben Assirati was a freakishly strong guy who was known as a legit street fighter. Billy says he was a masochist who not only liked to hurt people in the ring, but also liked to get hurt, himself. Ben Assirati tried to start a rival promotion in England, and was challenged to a legitimate shoot fight by promoters (and world class ass kickers) George Gregory and Billy Joyce, but Ben turned them down. Of course, when Lou Thesz was NWA Champion and touring through England, Ben made a big show of challenging him beforehand and even got the newspapers to print about it. On the night of the show, Lou had police block the entrance and not let Ben in the arena. Billy tells this story as if Lou was turning down Ben's challenge for the way he turned down Gregory and Joyce. But Billy really puts over Ben Assirati as a scary guy in the ring and says that people actually died in the ring with Ben. Wild claim that I couldn't back up online, though there are a ton of stories to speak on Ben's notorioty in the ring.
In Lou Thesz memoir, he stated that he challenged Ben first multiple times and Ben refused all of them
Billy says that when he first got to the States, Lou Thesz and Karl Gotch were close friends who respected one another. But something happened that led to the two refusing to speak to one another.
Billy says a lot of old timers were hot heads, and gives an example of when his son was born. Billy named him Spencer after Winston Churchill, but Karl Gotch got angry at this and said it should have been a powerful name like Thor or something silly. Billy says that he and Karl nearly came to blows in the street over this. So whatever fractured the relationship between Gotch and Thesz, it was probably minor and petty.
When talking about modern wrestlers, Billy always refers to them in quotations. Like in his book he says "pro wrestlers" as if he is air quoting when talking about modern guys.
Billy says a big difference between wrestling in America vs England was how much guys talked in the ring in America (called spots). Billy says this never happens over seas and says he didn't call spots verbally.
Another big difference is how pay structure worked. In America it was all based on the house and what the promoter felt you earned. Over seas, Billy says he and the promoter would sit alone and discuss the pay prior to the match. Ticket sales were irrelevant, you always got paid what you agreed to. He says America is where all the backstabbing and politicking started in wrestling.
Billy says Danny Hodge was probably one of the most dangerous guys from his time wrestling and puts him over as one ofthe greatest American wrestlers ever.
Billy describes an interesting concept for wrestling promoters back in his day. Every promoter had what he called a "policman" wrestler. When a new guy came in and wanted to challenge the top draw, he would face this "policman" wrestler as the top draw or promoter watched closely. For example, if you were looking to challenge Lou Thesz, first you would face Ray Steele as Thesz watched and judged, then after he and Ray would talk about the guy together.
While working for Verne Gagne in the early 70s, Billy was asked to wrestle with a green as grass guy and Verne told Billy to go 10 minutes before he beat him. This baffled Billy and Verne had to explain its a taping and they need to put on a good show. Billy says he shouldn't have done that, especially considering how Verne would go on to screw with Billy's payoffs down the line.
Billy says he took the kid down at the 9 minute mark and stretched him, nearly breaking his elbow as he screamed and cried and tapped out. Billy says the guy gave an interview later and said pro wrestling is the nastiest and most dangerous sport there is. Billy chuckles at this but he took some rookie and killed any interest the kid had in wrestling while abusing him.
Billy tells a wild story about a short real fight he had with Peter Maivia in Japan. Billy, Peter and a few other guys were eating at a restaurant when Peter got upset at how the menu and ordering system worked. Peter got so worked up that Billy yelled at him to calm down. Later as Billy was walking towards his hotel, a drunk Peter Maivia approached Billy looking for a fight. Billy attempted to restrain him, telling Peter as he held him, "Peter stop it. I don't want to hurt you." But Peter in his enraged, drunken state goes to bite Billy in the neck! Billy, having been trained in self defense and combat like this, knew to tuck his chin to save his neck, but Peter still bit down hard and into Billy's face! Billy says he still had scars from this 40 or 50 years later! When blood started pouring down Billy's cheek, he snapped and laid out Peter with an unspecified number of strikes that left Peter with a broken nose and two black eyes. He says the fight lasted all of 15 seconds. Billy says he had to go to the hospital to get stitches and shot for a human bite.
The next morning, Billy nearly kicked Peter's door down and told Peter he is lucky to be alive. Billy points out how biting the neck is an attempt to kill him, so he gives Peter a chance to try again. A very sober Peter backed down immediately
Billy says he saw an interview on Tv where The Rock claimed that Peter Maivia bit Billy's eye out and he needed surgery. Billy refutes this claim and says the only eye surgery he ever had was when he was a kid.
Billy says a lot of guys would spar once or train once with someone and then spend their whole career saying they were trained by that person. He gave an example of one time, Bill Watts called him up asking about Johnny Eagles, who said he trained at Billy's gym. Billy had a good laugh because Eagles stopped by his gym one time to borrow money.
Billy often goes on tangents or rants about bullies and how much he hates them. He calls them cowards who always back down when challenged. I guess that's why he doesn't see himself as a bully, while almost everyone who came up after him clarifies him as the biggest bully they ever met. I've read several, several dozen wrestling book, and only 1 guy didn't have anything bad to say about Billy. That was Dynamite Kid, who didn't have anything nice to say about Billy either. He was just the only guy to bring up Billy Robinson and not rant about how awful of a person he was.
If the only guy to not have a negative story about you in Dynamite Kid, then you may be an asshole imo.
Billy says he was AWA World Heavyweight Champion for 24 hours "until they changed the decision on me." I'm not a big AWA buff so if anyone knows this story I would like to hear it.
Billy briefly mentions the Gagne produced movie in 1974 movie, "The Wrestler" but unfortunately Billy has no tales from the set or stories about it at all. Billy alongside Dusty Rhodes and Dick Murdoch all appeared in the film.
One time while in Alberta wrestling for Stampede, Billy was invited along with a couple other wrestlers to have dinner with the Primier of Alberta (like a State Governor) and at the event Billy was asked to join the premieres wife in the morning. So when the wife reminded Billy about coming by at 8am the next morning, Billy used British slang in response and said "Yes, I'll come knock you up at 8 o'clock tomorrow." Poor Billy had to explain that where he's from, someone waking you up in the morning by knocking on your door is a knocker upper.
Billy calls Canadian wrestler George Gordienko the strongest wrestler he ever got in the ring with. George Gordienko was originally hoping to be a doctor before becoming an exceptionally successful wrestler and someone who Lou Thesz once called one of the best of all time. Gordienko has been lost to time for the most part since he was banned from the United States during the McCarthy era. George married a woman who was the head of a communist party in America and poor George never got to return. He continued to wrestle in the UK until a bad ankle injury forced him to retire. He pivoted again and became a pretty succesful artist. Super fascinating story imo.
Over in Japan, Karl Gotch was working for Giant Baba in the Japan Pro Wrestling Alliance and their competition, the International Wrestling Enterprise contacted Billy Riley and asked who was the best catch wrestler available to counter Gotch, who was doing big business for JWA. Riley immediately suggested Robinson, who was quickly invited to Japan for the IWE.
Karl and Billy were friends but working for rival promotions in Japan, so they could only meet and get together in secret.
Billy ended up winning the World title for the IWE and they asked him to move his family to Japan long-term.
Billy wasn't having a good time coaching the young Japanese guys and complained to Karl Gotch that it seems like their minds are elsewhere. Karl advised Billy to hurt one of them to get them in line. Billy refused and said he was their coach, he wasn't supposed to hurt them. This is wild to hear from Billy, who's entire reputation among the next generation was that he was a bully who liked to hurt people.
A week later Billy got caught in a snowstorm after fighting with his wife, so he was in a bad mood as he walked into the gym to train the young guys. One of them mouthed off so Billy says he lined them all up and wrestled each of them into submission. He calls it an accident, bit says he ended up breaking one of their arms that day and after that all the young guys took everything more seriously and treated Billy with more respect and admiration.
Billy seems to have mixed feelings on his time in Japan since he did well and early on was treated well by promoters. He said in Japan if you have something someone needs, you're a God in their eyes and your treated as such. He says if you need something from someone though, they always make it clear that they are in charge and treat you poorly. He says he and Karl both started to really resent the culture there towards the end of their runs in Japan.
It was after or near the end of his Japan tour that Billy and his wife got divorced. He doesn't expand on it in any way in his book. Barely gets a passing mention.
In the mid-70s Billy was in rough shape, his drinking was out of control and his knee was beyond fucked. Billy started working odd jobs outside the wrestling business, including a security job gig in Las Vegas where he was training other security guards and he managed a gas station in Minnesota. Billy calls this the lowest point of his life and says the gas station job was the most boring thing he ever did in his life.
Antonio Inoki contacted Billy when he was running the gas station and invited him to Japan for a big celebration show where they would have a match. Billy doesn't speak highly of the match and says he just had knee surgery and could barely get in the ring, but if you look up reports on his 1975 match with Inoki, all you see is massive, massive praise and people calling it one of the best matches ever at the time.
Billy calls Inoki the best Japanese wrestler of all time.
Yuko Miyato of The Union of Wrestling Forces International (UWFI) contacted Billy and sent him to Nashville to train guys to go to Japan for them and Billy says between himself and Karl Gotch, every wrestler they trained went on to be world champions. Billy lists Shigeo Miyato and Nobuhiko Takada as examples.
Billy says Yuko Miyato "really saved me." Billy says he was drinking excessively and gained a ton of weight after the divorce, and that his knees and hips had to be replaced. Billy says his nervous system was fucked up from all the years of grappling and he couldn't effectively train anymore. He got a 2nd life back in Japan and even became the head coach at his old Snake Pit gym after Riley passed away in 1977. Billy says he ended spending 15 years in Japan training the next generation of catch/mma fighters.
Billy talks about the difference in training Japanese guys compared to others, since Japanese guys are more scientific and teach techniques down to the specificity. Billy didn't teach like that, he taught concepts and ideas that anyone could use on anyone else. He struggled to get some guys over the "belt system" in Japan where a brown belt guy would never challenge a black belt guys. Billy says anyone can beat the best, regardless of their belt.
Near the end of the book, Billy again rants about modern guys and how they know one or two moves and consider themselves catch style wrestlers. Billy also rants again about bullies and how you don't train people by taking advantage of them. (Tell that to Iron Sheik) Billy cites Verne Gagne as an example of a guy who didn't know how to spar or lock in submissions, and would train guys by exhausting them before he jumped on them and shot for a hold. Billy says he and Karl Gotch resented that and made sure their training camps were the opposite of that. It's funny because Billy literally did this stuff with Verne Gagne! Maybe he is implying that he learned then not to that stuff, but he doesn't outright say it. Billy as as guilty of bullying as the Verne imo.
Billy thinks modern MMA is shooting themselves in the foot for not having pinfalls. He says that fighting off your back is exciting and opens the door for more to be done. He says that when a guy is trying not to get pinned, he may leave an opening somewhere for the other guy to take advantage of.
Billy complains how modern boxers are looking for knockouts and training to knock people out. He says that's not how it's done, you fight and wait for the opening, Billy says you wait for the knockout to come to you, you don't go looking for it. He laments the same thing in submissions as well, saying you don't go looking to lock in a submission, you maneuver around and wait for the opening to present itself. You wait for the submission to come to you. He is extremely critical of modern "catch style" wrestlers/ fighters.
Billy is critical of modern wrestling and fighting having such short time limits, saying that short 2 or 3 minute rounds means that it's all about power.
The book ends with Billy ranting about modern fighters and amateur wrestlers and how Catch wrestling was the greatest sport of all time. I hope I love something as much as Billy loved catch-as-catch-can wrestling.

Very, very short book that didn't detail too much, with a large portion being Billy just ranting on the history of wrestling or fighting.
As always, I attempted to keep to chronological order of events, even though Billy didn't tell a lot of this in order, and he never dated any story.
(Note: the number of guys named "Billy" in this post is just unreal and gave me a headache)
Billy describes how his dad, grandfather, uncle, and great-grandfather were all world-class boxers or fighters. He says his father taught him a ton of things to do in a fight and even underhanded tactics, like using a pencil to defend himself. Billy says a 4H pencil had the toughest lead that you could sharpen out and use as a weapon. The best part was that it wasn't classified as a weapon, so you could avoid the jail time that came with having knives.
Billy describes running home from school as 3 boys chased him. When he got home, crying, his dad asked him what was going on. After Billy explained, his dad said, "You can either fight the 3 of them or fight me!" Billy chose the 3 boys, and his dad went with him to make sure the fights were 1 on 1. After Billy beat up the 1st two kids, the third one wanted none of it. Billy says this was the first time he saw his dad was proud of him.
Billy dreamed of being a pro boxer, but one day, as a child, he was struck in the eye by a metal sign that some other kids were playing with and severely tore his retina. He spent 6 weeks in the hospital, and his boxing dreams were over.
Billy's uncle wanted him to try out pro wrestling because it was popular in the 60s, but Billy's dad wanted him to do amature wrestling, though it wasn't as lucrative as pro wrestling. Eventually, Billy was brought to a local YMCA where he started to train amature.
Before long, Billy's dad relented and took him to Billy Riley's gym, the same place that Karl Gotch trained and that Dynamite Kid would go train at as well. Billy even met John Foley there, who would go on to be a feared shooter and manage Dynamite Kid in Stampede Wrestling. Though if that's the only place you know John Foley from, then you won't have a high opinion of him.
John Foley was a legit bad ass shooter for most of his career, who was known to take liberties with guys. By the time he got to Stampede Wrestling, though, he was an old timer who was more known as a drunk who everyone ribbed. One story suggests where he lost his nerve, and that would be the time he was being a little too physical in the ring with Lanny and Randy Poffo, prompting their dad Angelo came to the ring, and all 3 Poffo men beat the living shit out of Foley. Bret Hart says he "never lived it down."
Billy says the best match he ever saw was a "friendly" sparring contest between Jack Dempsey and John Foley that left both men with black eyes, broken noses and blood coming out of their ears and mouths. Billy says they were still close friends after.
Billy calls shoot fighting/grappling "physical chess," and he spent 12 years learning this at Reilly's Gym, also known as the Snake Pit.
Billy learned "catch-as-catch-can" (or Greco-Roman) wrestling in The Snake Pit from Charlie Carrol.
Charlie Carrol was 55 years old and 155 pounds to Billy's 6 foot 2, 190 pound 17 year old, but Charlie hurt Billy every single time they sparred. Billy says that Charlie kept him humble.
Billy puts over modern MMA fighters but says the best modern MMA fighter couldn't hold a candle to a mediocre 1930s catch wrestler.
It's not a long book, but a significant section early on is just Billy going over the history of catch fighting and amateur wrestling all the way back to the 1800s. He complains that modern amateur wrestling is all about power and maneuvering for points and says he doesn't even watch the Olympics anymore. It's actually super fascinating as he details various amature techniques used in different Olympic competitions and where they originated from.
He tells a story of how when he was a teenager, his coach Billy Riley (who was 55 years old) would walk with him down the street and often try to grapple with Billy or show him some maneuver right there and Billy says people would stare at them like they were homosexuals and says it was so embarrassing. At the time, homosexuality was illegal in England.
Billy Robinson is critical of modern coaching, which he says consists of the coach giving a ton of positive feedback. Billy Robinson won multiple amature championship tournaments and bouts but never heard a good word from Billy Riley. When Billy Robinson won his first amature world title, he remembered Riley saying, "That was good." Riley would later explain that it wasn't his job to tell Robinson what was good, but it was his job to tell Robinson what was wrong and where he can correct himself. Interesting take on coaching.
In 1956, Billy placed 3rd at the nationals for amature wrestling. In 1957, he won the nationals tournament! Riley told Billy Robinson, "You've won all the cups and the medals. Why don't you take me out and buy me a steak dinner?" When Billy Robinson said he couldn't afford to, Riley said to him, "It just goes to show you kid, you can't buy steak with medals. It's time you turned pro."
Billy says he regrets not putting pro wrestling off another couple of years. He thinks he should have been amature wrestling in the Olympics. He beat everyone who eventually wrestled on the Brittish team, and he thought he could have won a medal.
Billy turned pro at 19 years old and was asked to help get pro wrestling going in Sweden. The problem was that the Sweden Olympic amature wrestling team wouldn't allow it unless the pros proved they were legit and could beat them in an amateur contest. Billy beat them all, including Alex Gronburg, a 2 time Olympic champion and former world champion, and Gosta Andersson, who quit after a minute, saying, "Hey, it's too dangerous for us."
Billy Robinson asked to go to Spain and wrestle for a new promotion, but as he was getting ready to leave, his coach Billy Riley warned him that if he worked for that company he would be black balled out of most major European wrestling companies. Robinson told Riley that he had given his word, and he said this was the first time he ever went against Riley's suggestion.
It didn't matter because Billy said the Spain promotion fizzled out before he even got there, but no one told him, and he flew to Spain for no reason.
He ended up staying in Spain, living with someone Billy referred to as "the English professor" who introduced him to people like Earnist Hemmingway and Sophia Loren and got Billy work in a movie
One day, the professor told Billy that his name was in the newspaper, and sure enough, Billy was being advertised in a new wrestling promotion. When Billy called them, he was informed that they had a job for him. For 2 years, 1960-1961, Billy wrestled in Spain and made a name for himself.
Billy would wrestle in tournaments and other tours during this time as well, in places like Germany and Belgium.
It was at these tournaments when Billy started noticing guys wanting to train with him and only him. Billy days. "It was odd!"
Billy loved zoos and had opinions on the good ones. He says he could spend all day just watching gorillas
Billy says he didn't like France much, saying that compared to places like Germany, Switzerland, and Austria, France was pretty dirty and gross back then.
Billy seems to have loved Lebanon the most, and being a huge history buff, Billy goes on a tangent about the history of Lebanon.
Billy wrestled in India in 1962, and on the way back, he stopped in Lebabon right before a war broke out, and he had to quickly escape.
Billy says his father told him that he should pretend to not know English and not be identified as an English speaking person. He said this advice helped him his while life while traveling.
The first time Billy got to India, he was shocked at the poverty and state of it. He remembers seeing dead animals all over the place and people sleeping in the streets among rats. Billy also puts over India and a big wrestling country and said he had a good time there.
Billy says he was fortunate to wrestle the original Dara Singh. Dara Singh was a huge name in India, and he eventually went to prison for killing 3 men. He did it because those 3 men killed his brother, so it was a revenge killing. Years later, he would be pardoned and released. This is when Billy beat him in India.
In India, it was legitimately against the law for a Muslim to wrestle against a Hindu, so the Muslim community "adopted" Billy Robinson as their guy to fight the Hundu guys. It's pretty fascinating imo.
After India, Billy wrestled in Napal and said he had a great time, even wrestling private matches for the King of Napal.
While in Napal, Billy was ribbed into approaching a live leopard and says it was the first time in his life that he ever felt fear.
Billy even helped some Americans set up a play for the King of Napal, where Billy was the stage manager and even took a couple of bumps on the hard wood floor. He says the King loved it so much that he called for an encore, so Billy had to do the painful bump again.
Billy recalls one time in Napal, a local accidently hit and killed a cow with his truck. Since cows were sacred, the man was killed right there, and his body hung from a lamppost.
While in Germany wrestling a tournament that was cross promoting with a ten pin bowling competition, Billy met his future wife Ursula. She was working on the bowling side and Billy on the wrestling side. Billy says when their eyes first locked, he was in the ring, and she was in the front row. Billy says, "It was the beginning of the end, for my single days." 18 months later she came to England and they got married.
Billy says he played some charity bowling games against the Beatles in the early 60s.
Dave Ruhl was an extremely popular face in Stampede Wrestling out of Calgary, and through his uncle Ray Steele, Dave got ahold of Billy and invited him to Calgary Billy says Stampede promoter Stu Hart saw Billy wrestle one match and then invite Billy to come to Stampede Wrestling.
While backstage at one of his first Stampede shows, he saw a bunch of big gues in the dressing room talking. Through eavesdropping, he heard them talking about football and asked them if they were wrestlers or football players. They said football players, and so Billy insisted they leave the dressing room. Things got tense and heated, but eventually, Billy made it clear that if they didn't leave, he would remove them. He says they all scurried out of the room and notes that one of them was a young Wayne Coleman, the future "Superstar" Billy Graham.
After reading Billy Graham's book, it's clear that these two fucking hated eachother, with Graham calling Billy a bully who took liberties with less experienced guys in the ring. In Graham's book, he details how poorly Robinson treated him when their paths crossed in Stampede Wrestling. Graham's book made no mention of Billy kicking him out of a locker room nor the supposed contract with Verne that forbade Robinson from hurting Graham.
Down the line when Billy came to Minnesota, Billy Robinson claimes that Billy Graham insisted that Verne write up a contract that prohibited Billy Robinson and Billy Graham from squaring up. I don't know the validity of this claim, but Billy Robinson says Billy Graham was so scared that he only came to Minnesota with the guarantee that Robinson wouldn't hurt him.
This claim about a contract and Graham refusing to work with Robinson, might come from the time in Minnesota when Graham opted out of working with him in favor of Wahoo McDaniel. One time they were matched up and Graham approached Robinson backstage and made a show of wrapping razor blades in his taped up hands, warning Robinson that if he attempted to shoot on him, that Graham would "shred you from your face to the tip of your toes." This is all from Graham's book, with Billy making no mention of it.
In Bruce Hart's book, he tells a story about how they had The Stomper penciled in to challenge NWA World Champion Dory Funk Jr, but they had The Stomper face Billy Robinson 2 weeks prior. The two meshed so poorly that it devolved into an ugly shoot, with the fans chanting boring at them. Eventually The Stomper left and got counted out, before getting to the back and telling Stu he is quitting. They had no choice but to put Robinson in his place, and while the match was amazing and Robinson would be a good face for Stampede at the time, even Bruce calls him a bully and finishes it by saying "here's not to you Mr Robinson, there is no place in Heaven for those who prey."
After Billy wrestled Dory Funk Jr in an 1 hour draw, and after Dory invited Billy to the States to wrestle.
Before heading over to the States full time, Billy did tours in England, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong and Australia where he won the World title for a company that Jim Barnett was promoting.
Billy met Jack Brisco in Australia, shortly after winning the world title there. Billy remembers there first match together, saying that Jack was trying to show off a little too much so Billy said he showed him a simple catch hold that put poor Jack in the hospital for a couple days! Billy says the 2 became friends and calls him a good amateur wrestler and great guy.
Jack Brisco was the one who first told Billy about "shoot wrestlers" in the States. Billy never heard the term before but says a shooter is just another word for catch wrestling.
Billy mentions a rib that Jack Brisco and Dick Murdoch played on him during that Australia tour. Dick introduced Billy to chewing tobacco and purposely misinformed Billy on how to enjoy it. Billy swallowed the juice and vomiting all over the place.
Another time, Jack and Billy were up in Billy's hotel room all night, talking holds and even practicing them on one another. It was middle of the night, so Billy was in his underwear when Jack asked him to go get the newspaper from down the hall. The second Billy got in the hallway, Jack locked him out and made Billy sneak back to his room a few floors up in just his boxers. Billy said this was the nicest hotel in Australia, too.
Billy says he got his first taste of American pro wrestling in Hawaii, where he wrestled for several months. Every single guy who writes a wrestling book inevitably ends up doing a tour in Hawaii.
It was in Hawaii where Billy met Verne Gagne, who was "wrestling" a tour there, but really, Verne was on vacation and wrestling as a means to vacation for free. A lot of guys did that with Hawaii back in the day.
Billy and Verne wrestled a tag team match together, and after Verne made sure to watch how Billy was as a singles wrestler. Verne asked Billy to come back to the mainland in 1972.
Verne even asked Billy to train his son Greg, and they ended up inviting several other guys to a small wrestling camp. The group consisted of Verne's son Greg, Ric Flair, Ken Patera, Jim Bunzell (who would later team with Ken in AWA and be one half of the Killer Bee's in the WWE), Bob Bruggers (a former Miami Dophins linebacker), and Hossien Khosrow Vaziri (the future Iron Shiek).
An infamous story happened at this camp, early on, Shiek was the only one of the 6 who had amateur experience, and one day he was boasting to the others about how neither Verne or Billy could get him on his back in an amateur bout. Billy heard about this and challenged him immediately to spar. Shiek was successful in holding his stance on his knees, with Billy unable to turn him. So Billy viciously dropped his knee into Shiek's thigh, fucking him up bad. Then Billy casually rolled Shiek over and said "told you I could flip you."
Billy acknowledges Sheik as a very good amateur but says he has a big head a big mouth. He knew Shiek wasn't familiar with catch-as-catch-can, ankle submissions, neck cranks or double wristlocks and took advantage of him. Billy just casually says "I knelt on his thigh in a way we do. He couldn't walk for two days and couldn't work out at the camp for two weeks."
Billy remembers a match he did early on working for Verne, where a fan in the front row was being obnoxious and screaming at Billy all match. After the bout, Billy went and picked the fan up out of his seat and smacked him a few times and notes how the fan stayed quiet the rest of the show. When he got to the back he was chewed our by Verne who was afraid of a lawsuit. Billy says the fan ended up getting tickets to a future show.
In the middle of the book he goes on a rant about the history of how wrestling started in carnival tents and how champions made money. He calls Gorgeous George a "carnie wrestler" and credits him for accelerating the change in how the general audience looks at pro wrestlers. He resents the sentiment that all wrestlers are showmanship guys and puts over himself and others like Lou Thesz as legit tough guys. Billy is always putting over his skills as catch fighter in the book.
Billy says he and Lou Thesz became pretty good friends.
Billy says Lou Thesz would call Ed "Strangler" Louis as the best wrestler of all time, while Billy says he would call Billy Joyce the best of all time. But he says that Billy Joyce said that George Gregory was the best of all time.
Billy describes one time he wrestled Verne Gagne with Lou Thesz as the special referee. Billy says that he and Verne weren't getting along at this point, so throughout the match, Billy was sorta abusing Verne and taunting him the whole time. Billy says he kept turning to Lou and saying "Look at this Lou!" And "What do you think of this Lou?" As he took advantage of Verne. Eventually Lou piped up and said, "Jesus Billy, take it easy on him, he is the boss."
Ed "Strangler" Louise had an "open" contract, meaning that if you were matched up against him and wanted to shoot, Ed encouraged it. What a badass.
John Pesek was a wrestler with legit Olynpic credentials. John Pesek decided to shoot on Ed Lewis when Ed was very sick and had boils all over. It was a hard fight but Ed won. Lou Thesz resented Pesek for attempting this and even had him black balled by the NWA later in his career. Lou never forgave John for shooting on Ed when Ed was sick and never admitted Pesek was talented in any way. Billy clarifies that John Pesek was legitimate in the ring and tells this story as a way to show Lou Thesz power back in those days.
Ben Assirati was a freakishly strong guy who was known as a legit street fighter. Billy says he was a masochist who not only liked to hurt people in the ring, but also liked to get hurt, himself. Ben Assirati tried to start a rival promotion in England, and was challenged to a legitimate shoot fight by promoters (and world class ass kickers) George Gregory and Billy Joyce, but Ben turned them down. Of course, when Lou Thesz was NWA Champion and touring through England, Ben made a big show of challenging him beforehand and even got the newspapers to print about it. On the night of the show, Lou had police block the entrance and not let Ben in the arena. Billy tells this story as if Lou was turning down Ben's challenge for the way he turned down Gregory and Joyce. But Billy really puts over Ben Assirati as a scary guy in the ring and says that people actually died in the ring with Ben. Wild claim that I couldn't back up online, though there are a ton of stories to speak on Ben's notorioty in the ring.
In Lou Thesz memoir, he stated that he challenged Ben first multiple times and Ben refused all of them
Billy says that when he first got to the States, Lou Thesz and Karl Gotch were close friends who respected one another. But something happened that led to the two refusing to speak to one another.
Billy says a lot of old timers were hot heads, and gives an example of when his son was born. Billy named him Spencer after Winston Churchill, but Karl Gotch got angry at this and said it should have been a powerful name like Thor or something silly. Billy says that he and Karl nearly came to blows in the street over this. So whatever fractured the relationship between Gotch and Thesz, it was probably minor and petty.
When talking about modern wrestlers, Billy always refers to them in quotations. Like in his book he says "pro wrestlers" as if he is air quoting when talking about modern guys.
Billy says a big difference between wrestling in America vs England was how much guys talked in the ring in America (called spots). Billy says this never happens over seas and says he didn't call spots verbally.
Another big difference is how pay structure worked. In America it was all based on the house and what the promoter felt you earned. Over seas, Billy says he and the promoter would sit alone and discuss the pay prior to the match. Ticket sales were irrelevant, you always got paid what you agreed to. He says America is where all the backstabbing and politicking started in wrestling.
Billy says Danny Hodge was probably one of the most dangerous guys from his time wrestling and puts him over as one ofthe greatest American wrestlers ever.
Billy describes an interesting concept for wrestling promoters back in his day. Every promoter had what he called a "policman" wrestler. When a new guy came in and wanted to challenge the top draw, he would face this "policman" wrestler as the top draw or promoter watched closely. For example, if you were looking to challenge Lou Thesz, first you would face Ray Steele as Thesz watched and judged, then after he and Ray would talk about the guy together.
While working for Verne Gagne in the early 70s, Billy was asked to wrestle with a green as grass guy and Verne told Billy to go 10 minutes before he beat him. This baffled Billy and Verne had to explain its a taping and they need to put on a good show. Billy says he shouldn't have done that, especially considering how Verne would go on to screw with Billy's payoffs down the line.
Billy says he took the kid down at the 9 minute mark and stretched him, nearly breaking his elbow as he screamed and cried and tapped out. Billy says the guy gave an interview later and said pro wrestling is the nastiest and most dangerous sport there is. Billy chuckles at this but he took some rookie and killed any interest the kid had in wrestling while abusing him.
Billy tells a wild story about a short real fight he had with Peter Maivia in Japan. Billy, Peter and a few other guys were eating at a restaurant when Peter got upset at how the menu and ordering system worked. Peter got so worked up that Billy yelled at him to calm down. Later as Billy was walking towards his hotel, a drunk Peter Maivia approached Billy looking for a fight. Billy attempted to restrain him, telling Peter as he held him, "Peter stop it. I don't want to hurt you." But Peter in his enraged, drunken state goes to bite Billy in the neck! Billy, having been trained in self defense and combat like this, knew to tuck his chin to save his neck, but Peter still bit down hard and into Billy's face! Billy says he still had scars from this 40 or 50 years later! When blood started pouring down Billy's cheek, he snapped and laid out Peter with an unspecified number of strikes that left Peter with a broken nose and two black eyes. He says the fight lasted all of 15 seconds. Billy says he had to go to the hospital to get stitches and shot for a human bite.
The next morning, Billy nearly kicked Peter's door down and told Peter he is lucky to be alive. Billy points out how biting the neck is an attempt to kill him, so he gives Peter a chance to try again. A very sober Peter backed down immediately
Billy says he saw an interview on Tv where The Rock claimed that Peter Maivia bit Billy's eye out and he needed surgery. Billy refutes this claim and says the only eye surgery he ever had was when he was a kid.
Billy says a lot of guys would spar once or train once with someone and then spend their whole career saying they were trained by that person. He gave an example of one time, Bill Watts called him up asking about Johnny Eagles, who said he trained at Billy's gym. Billy had a good laugh because Eagles stopped by his gym one time to borrow money.
Billy often goes on tangents or rants about bullies and how much he hates them. He calls them cowards who always back down when challenged. I guess that's why he doesn't see himself as a bully, while almost everyone who came up after him clarifies him as the biggest bully they ever met. I've read several, several dozen wrestling book, and only 1 guy didn't have anything bad to say about Billy. That was Dynamite Kid, who didn't have anything nice to say about Billy either. He was just the only guy to bring up Billy Robinson and not rant about how awful of a person he was.
If the only guy to not have a negative story about you in Dynamite Kid, then you may be an asshole imo.
Billy says he was AWA World Heavyweight Champion for 24 hours "until they changed the decision on me." I'm not a big AWA buff so if anyone knows this story I would like to hear it.
Billy briefly mentions the Gagne produced movie in 1974 movie, "The Wrestler" but unfortunately Billy has no tales from the set or stories about it at all. Billy alongside Dusty Rhodes and Dick Murdoch all appeared in the film.
One time while in Alberta wrestling for Stampede, Billy was invited along with a couple other wrestlers to have dinner with the Primier of Alberta (like a State Governor) and at the event Billy was asked to join the premieres wife in the morning. So when the wife reminded Billy about coming by at 8am the next morning, Billy used British slang in response and said "Yes, I'll come knock you up at 8 o'clock tomorrow." Poor Billy had to explain that where he's from, someone waking you up in the morning by knocking on your door is a knocker upper.
Billy calls Canadian wrestler George Gordienko the strongest wrestler he ever got in the ring with. George Gordienko was originally hoping to be a doctor before becoming an exceptionally successful wrestler and someone who Lou Thesz once called one of the best of all time. Gordienko has been lost to time for the most part since he was banned from the United States during the McCarthy era. George married a woman who was the head of a communist party in America and poor George never got to return. He continued to wrestle in the UK until a bad ankle injury forced him to retire. He pivoted again and became a pretty succesful artist. Super fascinating story imo.
Over in Japan, Karl Gotch was working for Giant Baba in the Japan Pro Wrestling Alliance and their competition, the International Wrestling Enterprise contacted Billy Riley and asked who was the best catch wrestler available to counter Gotch, who was doing big business for JWA. Riley immediately suggested Robinson, who was quickly invited to Japan for the IWE.
Karl and Billy were friends but working for rival promotions in Japan, so they could only meet and get together in secret.
Billy ended up winning the World title for the IWE and they asked him to move his family to Japan long-term.
Billy wasn't having a good time coaching the young Japanese guys and complained to Karl Gotch that it seems like their minds are elsewhere. Karl advised Billy to hurt one of them to get them in line. Billy refused and said he was their coach, he wasn't supposed to hurt them. This is wild to hear from Billy, who's entire reputation among the next generation was that he was a bully who liked to hurt people.
A week later Billy got caught in a snowstorm after fighting with his wife, so he was in a bad mood as he walked into the gym to train the young guys. One of them mouthed off so Billy says he lined them all up and wrestled each of them into submission. He calls it an accident, bit says he ended up breaking one of their arms that day and after that all the young guys took everything more seriously and treated Billy with more respect and admiration.
Billy seems to have mixed feelings on his time in Japan since he did well and early on was treated well by promoters. He said in Japan if you have something someone needs, you're a God in their eyes and your treated as such. He says if you need something from someone though, they always make it clear that they are in charge and treat you poorly. He says he and Karl both started to really resent the culture there towards the end of their runs in Japan.
It was after or near the end of his Japan tour that Billy and his wife got divorced. He doesn't expand on it in any way in his book. Barely gets a passing mention.
In the mid-70s Billy was in rough shape, his drinking was out of control and his knee was beyond fucked. Billy started working odd jobs outside the wrestling business, including a security job gig in Las Vegas where he was training other security guards and he managed a gas station in Minnesota. Billy calls this the lowest point of his life and says the gas station job was the most boring thing he ever did in his life.
Antonio Inoki contacted Billy when he was running the gas station and invited him to Japan for a big celebration show where they would have a match. Billy doesn't speak highly of the match and says he just had knee surgery and could barely get in the ring, but if you look up reports on his 1975 match with Inoki, all you see is massive, massive praise and people calling it one of the best matches ever at the time.
Billy calls Inoki the best Japanese wrestler of all time.
Yuko Miyato of The Union of Wrestling Forces International (UWFI) contacted Billy and sent him to Nashville to train guys to go to Japan for them and Billy says between himself and Karl Gotch, every wrestler they trained went on to be world champions. Billy lists Shigeo Miyato and Nobuhiko Takada as examples.
Billy says Yuko Miyato "really saved me." Billy says he was drinking excessively and gained a ton of weight after the divorce, and that his knees and hips had to be replaced. Billy says his nervous system was fucked up from all the years of grappling and he couldn't effectively train anymore. He got a 2nd life back in Japan and even became the head coach at his old Snake Pit gym after Riley passed away in 1977. Billy says he ended spending 15 years in Japan training the next generation of catch/mma fighters.
Billy talks about the difference in training Japanese guys compared to others, since Japanese guys are more scientific and teach techniques down to the specificity. Billy didn't teach like that, he taught concepts and ideas that anyone could use on anyone else. He struggled to get some guys over the "belt system" in Japan where a brown belt guy would never challenge a black belt guys. Billy says anyone can beat the best, regardless of their belt.
Near the end of the book, Billy again rants about modern guys and how they know one or two moves and consider themselves catch style wrestlers. Billy also rants again about bullies and how you don't train people by taking advantage of them. (Tell that to Iron Sheik) Billy cites Verne Gagne as an example of a guy who didn't know how to spar or lock in submissions, and would train guys by exhausting them before he jumped on them and shot for a hold. Billy says he and Karl Gotch resented that and made sure their training camps were the opposite of that. It's funny because Billy literally did this stuff with Verne Gagne! Maybe he is implying that he learned then not to that stuff, but he doesn't outright say it. Billy as as guilty of bullying as the Verne imo.
Billy thinks modern MMA is shooting themselves in the foot for not having pinfalls. He says that fighting off your back is exciting and opens the door for more to be done. He says that when a guy is trying not to get pinned, he may leave an opening somewhere for the other guy to take advantage of.
Billy complains how modern boxers are looking for knockouts and training to knock people out. He says that's not how it's done, you fight and wait for the opening, Billy says you wait for the knockout to come to you, you don't go looking for it. He laments the same thing in submissions as well, saying you don't go looking to lock in a submission, you maneuver around and wait for the opening to present itself. You wait for the submission to come to you. He is extremely critical of modern "catch style" wrestlers/ fighters.
Billy is critical of modern wrestling and fighting having such short time limits, saying that short 2 or 3 minute rounds means that it's all about power.
The book ends with Billy ranting about modern fighters and amateur wrestlers and how Catch wrestling was the greatest sport of all time. I hope I love something as much as Billy loved catch-as-catch-can wrestling.
Billy passed away 1 year after this book came out, and it's said he died peacefully in his sleep.

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
Chapter 404
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「Sigh.」
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The night was pitch-dark.
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Upon his return, the young man shed his equipment and collapsed in his usual spot, gasping for air. A middle-aged man approached, offering him a drink.
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「You look exhausted. Drink this.」
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The pair, both Hunters drafted from Shanxi Province, had forged a considerable bond.
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Recognizing the familiar face and the can in his hand, the young man spoke hesitantly.
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「Is this from the supplies? I've never seen this drink before.」
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「It came as part of international aid. It's not from our country.」
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「Um, is it non-carbonated?」
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「If you don't like it, then never mind.」
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Snatch!
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Grasping the hand of the departing middle-aged man, the young man declared earnestly,
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「Mister, did I ever tell you that my favorite thing in the world is soft drinks?」
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「No.」
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「Well, now you know.」
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「Good, that's the spirit.」
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「I'll enjoy it, then.」
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Clink, ssshh.
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The young man popped the can open and took a sip, his face subtly shifting. Before he could comment, the middle-aged man inquired,
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「You're coming back from a search in Zone 3, right?」
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「...Ugh, yes.」
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「It must have been tough.」
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The young man simply shrugged, his torso bare and slick with cold sweat, his cheek smeared with greenish monster blood.
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「Monster blood, huh? Was there a fight?」
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「No, I was just passing by a building when a fucking gargoyle corpse fell down. It must have been lying on the roof.」
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「What a mess it must have been.」
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「Are you kidding? The rookies in their first and second year vomited and pissed themselves the moment they got covered in blood.」
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「And you?」
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「Well, I am a seven-year Hunter, after all. I didn't even blink.」
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The middle-aged man's eyes trailed down to a specific area on the young man's body. He fixed his gaze on a faintly discolored patch on the young man's navy blue pants and nodded.
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「Ah, I see.」
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「…It's sweat.」
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「I didn't say anything. But when I look at you, I feel like my eyes are sweating.」
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「…Actually, I peed a little. Can you tell?」
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「Yes.」
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「Shit.」
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As the young man muttered a curse and tipped his can to drink, the middle-aged man watched in silence before suddenly asking,
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「Did you find any survivors?」
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「…!」
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「It was the same for you, then.」
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As the young man's expression suddenly hardened, the middle-aged man sighed.
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He too had participated in a search before. It was truly a nightmarish experience.
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Everywhere he looked, there were corpses torn to shreds by monsters, and the dreadful stench was enough to split his head.
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Both of them would probably never forget the horrific scenes they witnessed today.
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「…It's unimaginable. How fierce the battle must have been.」
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「No need to imagine. Whatever you're thinking, it was worse.」
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Under the command of Minister of National Defense Wei Feng-Hu, four thousand Hunters scoured the small town. All their search equipment consistently returned the same bleak outcome.
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No survivors.
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Aside from the three thousand members of the People's Liberation Army who had fled at the battle’s onset, all others were found lifeless and cold. The fate of those who fled remained uncertain.
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「We can't even use the term 'casualty count'. 'Death count' would be more accurate…」
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「Watch your words. We still don't have all the facts.」
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「Uh, sorry. I misspoke.」
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「That's enough. And…」
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Interrupting the young man's impulsive comments, the middle-aged man clarified.
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「The 'casualty count' is correct. There are survivors.」
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「…Ah.」
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A sudden recollection flashed across the young man's mind — the memory of three individuals who had endured through this horrific setting.
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「Was it the commander of the Public Security Forces? That young guy.」
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「Yes. A young Hunter from Korea also survived.」
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「And ...」
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While the two previously mentioned also demonstrated bravery, their deeds paled in comparison to the last survivor, who shone like the sun beside mere fireflies.
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Noticing the young man's nervous swallow, the middle-aged man continued on his behalf.
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「Yes, that person. No, that incredible hero.」
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His tone carried a profound reverence. His unwavering respect for the much younger man stemmed from his exceptional accomplishments.
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「Do you believe that a single Hunter can be that powerful?」
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As a seasoned Hunter, he had a fair understanding of what an S-rank Hunter could achieve.
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Yet, the feats accomplished by Jin Tae-Kyung seemed almost mythical, surpassing any expectations of what a Hunter — or any human — could do.
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「A legion of monsters numbering in the tens of thousands. There were two Death Knights, and even a Death Knight Lord who is said to be as strong as, or stronger than, an S-rank Hunter.」
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The middle-aged man's voice surged with excitement.
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「And in comparison, how many of our Hunters were there? Merely a thousand. There were members of the People's Liberation Army, but even they...」
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「When the front lines collapsed, nearly half ran away. The rest fought bravely but were massacred by the monsters. I've heard about it too.」
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「How many Hunters do you think were left when Jin Tae-Kyung arrived? A thousand? No, not even half of that, I'd bet my life on it!」
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Had he been there when Jin Tae-Kyung arrived, the shock might have been enough to cause a heart attack.
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Even he, full of admiration, struggled to imagine Jin Tae-Kyung facing the monstrous legion alone.
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「He led hundreds of weary and wounded Hunters and annihilated a monster legion more than ten times their number! Do you think that makes any sense?」
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The young man, observing him, wore a skeptical expression.
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「I don't think it's possible.」
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「But, he did it!」
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「Uh, sir. Sorry to throw cold water on this, but aren't these facts not fully confirmed yet?」
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「What?」
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「I think Jin Tae-Kyung...」
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「It's Mr. Jin, not Jin Tae-Kyung!」
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Taken aback by the middle-aged man's sudden outburst, the young man cleared his throat awkwardly.
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「Ahem. So, I do acknowledge that Mr. Jin is an exceptional warrior, but don't you think there might be some exaggeration mixed in?」
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「Exaggeration? Even after seeing the traces left on the battlefield, you say that? If not Mr. Jin, then who...」
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「Come on, don't get so heated and try to look at it more calmly. If everything you're saying is true, then you're claiming that Mr. Jin is stronger than Fei Chen or Wu Hei-Xing.」
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「I don't want to rank them, but based on the feats shown in this monster wave, Mr. Jin is the best. So what?」
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「Fei Chen is a hero from Hong Kong who has achieved numerous feats during the Great Cataclysm, and Wu Hei-Xing, despite his mishaps, is considered a true genius born of China. To say that Jin Tae-Kyung surpasses these two? That crosses a line.」
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The middle-aged man fixed the young man with a look of disappointment and disdain.
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「You're the one crossing the line.」
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「What?」
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「Is that all you wanted to say? Shouting about how China is the best, claiming a great victory, and then belittling a hero who saved the people?」
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The young man's expression contorted sharply.
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「Since you mentioned it, the people Jin Tae-Kyung saved today amount to just two. Actually, one of them is Korean, so really just one. And that one was completely unharmed. Jin Tae-Kyung pretty much only fought to protect his own countrymen. There are rumors that he wasted a Top-grade Potion too.」
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「I should stop talking. I have nothing good to say to you, but I at least shouldn't treat you poorly. I wonder what Mr. Jin would say if he heard this...」
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The middle-aged man sighed deeply and stood.
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"Well, in my opinion, he probably would've called that young man a son of a bitch."
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「…!」
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「…!」
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Caught off guard by the unexpected voice, both men whirled around in surprise.
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They were now facing someone they usually saw on TV or in the media.
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「…Hiccup.」
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The young man, looking up at the taller figure, started hiccupping.
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「Ji, ji, ji, ji, Ji-jin!!」
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The middle-aged man stuttered, as if his words were stuck.
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Jin Tae-Kyung, observing them, cracked a congenial smile.
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"If the young man over there wants to be a good Chinese person, he should stop hiccuping. And sir, please stop your trembling unless you plan to take down the Arch Lich with an earthquake."
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「Hic, gulp.」
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「I-i-is it really you?」
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Jin Tae-Kyung nodded slightly.
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"I was just passing by, but then I heard something quite irritating."
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「…Th-that's…」
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The young man, now ceasing his hiccups but trembling like a leaf, was scrutinized by Jin Tae-Kyung.
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"How old are you?"
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「T-twenty-nine.」
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"You're older than me. I'll speak informally anyway."
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「…What?」
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"Whatever."
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「Oh?」
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He wouldn’t be able to retort even if Jin Tae-Kyung cursed him rather than merely using informal speech.
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The realization that Jin Tae-Kyung, whom he had only seen from afar, had overheard every word sent a shiver down the young man's spine and caused his vision to whiten.
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「I-I’m sorry.」
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“There’s nothing to apologize for. That's what gossiping behind people's backs is all about. I understand.”
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「Th-thank you.」
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Just as Jin Tae-Kyung’s kind smile was warming his heart.
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“There’s nothing to thank me for. Gossip is fine until you get caught; then it screws you over.”
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「…!」
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“There’s someone behind me right now. Can you see?”
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The young man slowly, very cautiously, shifted his gaze.
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Sure enough, a middle-aged man with a sinister look was emanating an intimidating presence from about ten meters away.
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“He’s an A-rank Hunter affiliated with the Central Military Commission. He seemed quite taken with your tale and kept bowing to me. Why don’t you go and apply a medicated patch on him?”
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「Yes, sir!」
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The young man responded as if he were yelling and dashed off, his scream echoing as his mana-infused joints throbbed.
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Jin Tae-Kyung, ready to depart with a light chuckle, paused.
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“Ah, there’s one thing you’re mistaken about.”
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「M-me?」
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The middle-aged man, momentarily disoriented, snapped back to attention.
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「Sorry, but what is it?」
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“It wasn’t just me.”
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「Really?」
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“Everyone fought to the death. By the time I got there, it was almost all over. Please let the others know that too.”
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「I-is that really true?」
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“Of course. Oh, do you have a family?”
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「Yes. Three daughters and five sons…」
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“You’re a patriot. You could start a soccer team in a few years.”
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Jin Tae-Kyung, contemplating, suddenly inquired.
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“You’re not part of the combat troops, are you?”
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「…You can tell right away.」
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The middle-aged man lowered his head, slightly embarrassed.
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「As you can see, I'm an E-rank Hunter, so I was excluded from combat. I will probably only be used to count casualties.」
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"Then, may I ask you for one favor?"
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「It would be an honor, Mr. Jin.」
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"Please include one person in the list of the deceased. I'd like to ask you a special request since we won't be able to find the body."
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「What is the person's name…?」
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"Lei Fei. His name is Lei Fei."
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That was the last thing he said.
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The middle-aged man stood frozen, watching Jin Tae-Kyung walk away, before he finally released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
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The final look on Jin Tae-Kyung’s face seemed destined to linger in his memory for years.
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'The intensity in his gaze...'
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A determination to fulfill his mission.
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The middle-aged man, having earlier voiced his respect for Jin Tae-Kyung, took a swig from the can the young man had abandoned and immediately regretted it.
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"Ptooey!"
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Birdian? [Note: Birdian is a beverage supplied to the Republic of Korea National Military from 2000 to 2017. The drink has a different flavor profile depending on who makes it and when, but the core of the beverage is always onion juice. You will always get a hit of onion flavor, especially when it is room temperature.]
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It seemed like a Korean drink, but it was disgusting.
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​
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* * *
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​
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「Mr. Jin, you've arrived.」
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Wei Feng-Hu wasn't the only one waiting.
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Five monitors flickered to life in the conference room, each displaying an S-rank Hunter.
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I initiated the discussion with a steady tone.
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"Let's go end this war."
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It was time to confront and eradicate the root of all this chaos.
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Previous Table of Contents Next

My first mistake was coming here at all.
I saw my uncle’s cabin silhouetted in the setting sun as my old, beat-up Chevy rattled along the dusty dirt road toward the lake. It rolled up the graveled driveway and made its signature squeal as I hit the brakes and put it in park. As I stepped out the vehicle, I was chilled by a piercing October breeze. I still had hope that this weekend getaway would be a good use of my paid time off, but I admit, that hope was dwindling.
A scene from a movie: a young man takes his girlfriend up to the mountains, to a lakeside cabin—just when all the leaves have faded to lush tones of crimson, amber, and gold—and when the moment is just right, when the sun is real low and the water is all aglow at that magical hour of twilight, the boy gets on one knee and pops the question, diamond ring in-hand. That’s what I had in mind when I begged my uncle to let me stay a few days at his secluded “summer getaway” cabin he’d bought cheap the year prior. He was a grumpy old man, but he still had a heart.
It should’ve been perfect. It should’ve been one of the happiest weekends of both our lives—which is why I was so unbelievably baffled when she dumped me. Maybe the writing on the wall was too obvious. Maybe she didn’t want to marry me. Maybe there was someone else. Who knows? Who cares, really? Somehow I found myself single just a day before we were meant to head up to a remote spot in the mountains of Utah. And, for some reason, I found myself up there alone. I don’t know, it seemed like it’d be a nice place to brood, to feel sorry for myself. I didn’t much care to tell anyone about our breakup. As far as my family was concerned, I’d be coming down the mountain a few days later with my new fiancé. I didn’t know what I’d tell them. I hardly understood it myself. A weekend at Uncle Rob’s cabin would give me plenty of time to mull it all over, or so went my thinking.
I filled my lungs with fresh, crisp air. It felt good. I was lucky in getting to the spot before the sun set entirely. It had been a long drive, and all I wanted was to lay down in a soft bed. An old set of keys jingled and jangled as I twirled them around my index finger. I whistled a chipper tune on my way to the front door, trying to act happier than I was. The key turned, the door opened. The musky smell of wood filled my nostrils as I stepped inside.
It was dark. I turned on my phone’s flashlight in search of a light switch. “Aha!” I said upon my discovery of one. I flipped it, and nothing happened. I flipped it a few more times, as if it’d make a difference. I found another, and tried flipping it another two or three times as well. There was no power. I set down my backpack that housed all my effects. I half-considered getting back in my truck and driving away right then and there, but figured I should at least give my uncle a call first.
The phone rang, and it rang some more. “This is Rob Ward. Leave a message.”
I sighed. The phone rang again. Once. Twice. Three times. “Hal? Hal, honey, how’s it going?”
The question was an emotional gut-punch. Not so good, Mom. You ever lose the love of your life without even knowing why? I took a deep breath. “Hey, yeah, it’s going great. We’re up here at the cabin—just getting settled in. I just had a quick question for Rob, but he’s not picking up his phone.”
“Oh that’s great honey, I’m glad you made it up there safe. How’s Jessica? Is she in a good mood? Make sure she’s in a good mood before, well, you know… I’m not on speaker, am I?”
“What? No, she’s fine, I’m not…” I’m not proposing to her at all, Mom. She’s not here. In fact, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’m all by myself in the middle of nowhere. What a great idea. I’m a genius, Mom. “I’m waiting till tomorrow. I—I just had a question for Rob and wondered if you could try getting ahold of him.”
“Oh, that’s great sweetie. And yes—you’ve called at a good time. He’s over here, actually. He and Dad are watching the game right now, but I think it’s gone to commercials. I’ll bring him the phone.”
A moment passed. I heard the sound of a phone changing hands. “Yeah?” Rob’s gruff voice came over the speaker.
“Hey, Rob. Uh, who’s—who’s winning?”
For a few seconds there was nothing but the sound of TV in the background. “What do you need?” he said in his habitual growly monotone.
“So… there’s no power up here. Seems like. I tried turning on the lights.” Talking to Rob always made me uncomfortable. Could never tell what he’s thinking, and he made no effort in the realm of niceties.
“Generator. In the back.” And with that, he handed the phone back to my mother.
“It’s me again, Hal. Make sure when you do it you—”
“Yep, thanks, Mom. I have to go now, okay?”
“Okay, sweetie. I love you! Tell Jessica I said—”
“Love you too. I’ll tell her you said hi.” I hit the end call button hastily. I didn’t like lying to my mother. Nor did I want to talk any more about Jessica.
“Of course there’s a generator. Obviously,” I muttered to myself as I made my way out the back door. This place was way too far out to be hooked up to any grid. I was downright lucky there was cell service at all.
All that was left of the sun were the last mauve tones of dusk that silhouetted the pine trees on the horizon as clusters of black, needly branches. My phone’s flashlight illuminated the way down the back deck, casting long, stark shadows as the radius of light hit overgrown grass, large rocks, and the like; nearly rolling my ankle as I clambered over the uneven terrain. I looked up and saw a thick wire extending from the cabin to the inside of an old tool shed at the edge of the property. I made my way to it, but the door was locked. I fumbled through my pocket and found the keys Rob had given me. There were three in total. I tried the first. No dice. I didn’t try the second, it was way too big. The third unlocked the door, which swung open with a sickening creak. Inside the small wooden shed was the generator, along with all the tools one would need to maintain a place like this. All sorts of pliers, wrenches, drills, a box cutter, and a hefty axe.
The generator had a recoil starter like a lawn mower. I pulled it, but there was nothing except the short-lived whirring sound of an attempt at revving up. The tank of propane attached was probably empty. Thankfully, there were no less than three more of them next to it. Once the fresh tank was attached, it finally it started with a roar. The cabin flickered to life like a beacon in the pitch-dark forest. We’re in business, I thought.
As I exited the shed, the generator seemed to start making an odd sound—a feral screeching sort of noise, harsh against the ears, for sure. I’d never been mechanically savvy, but it looked to be running alright from what I could tell. The sound continued as I made my way back to the cabin. In fact, it got a bit louder. I looked out over the back deck. Was it coming from the generator? Or was it coming from the forest behind it?
I put away the thought. It creeped me out. I shut the door and locked it behind me. I locked the front door, too—just for good measure.
In the new light I saw that the cabin was in worse condition than I thought it would be. What little paint there was was peeling. The wood was practically rotting. Dirt and dust caked nearly every inch of the place. What a letdown. Maybe it’s good I didn’t bring Jessica here.
Jessica. The name made my heart hurt. I needed to get my mind off her.
The wind was howling, probably blowing through all sorts of holes in the cabin’s exterior. I had to wear my jacket at all times. I looked at my phone and saw it was only a little past 7 P.M. Too early to drown my sorrows in sleep. It was time to start thinking about the way in which I’d spend the rest of my evening. Internet wasn’t an option, of course, so I figured I’d try something new and actually read a book I’d been meaning to for years.
After a while the generator suddenly stopped making the horrible shrieking sound it had been. Or, at least, whatever had been making it stopped. Glad that sorted itself out, I thought.
A few chapters of Pet Sematary later and I needed to take a leak. The bathroom was just as dingy, cramped, and outdated as the rest of the house. After doing my duty, on my way back to the living area, I caught a glimpse of something in the window in the top of the back door. I didn’t want to think it, but my stomach sank. It looked like the top of someone’s shaved head. I froze. Was someone really there? If it was a person, they were standing perfectly still, facing the door; but I couldn’t be sure. They’d have to be intimidatingly tall for me to be able to see the tip of their head. I tried to steady my breathing. There was no need to panic. As I took a step toward the door, the shape darted to the right. I ran to the door. There was no easy locking mechanism on the inside, I had to use the key. After struggling to fit the correct key into the hole in my adrenaline-induced zeal, I flung open the old wooden door and looked in the direction it went. I saw nothing but dark shapes, all still in the quiet of night, except the steady silhouetted swaying of branches in the wind.
I called out. “Hello?” My voice was tentative. I wasn’t sure I wanted whatever it was to hear me. I took a deep breath. I called again, louder this time. “Hello?!” Nothing. No one. I turned on my phone’s flashlight. At the edge of my vision, I could see it. The door of the toolshed was wide open.
I muttered an expletive to myself. What if it was in there? Was it a person? It must’ve been—a bald man, tall, with pasty white skin.
I approached the shed. One step at a time. I could feel my heart pounding wildly inside my chest. I spoke again; a whisper this time. “Is someone in there?” Surely not. Surely there wasn’t a stranger inside the shed. What would they be doing there? What reason could they have?
Flashlight in-hand, I peered inside the shed. Nothing. For a moment, relief spread over me. I even felt myself smile. I poked my head inside, and looked to the left, where the generator was. It was there, too. It towered over me. Naked and pale. It just stood there, with its… “face” pointed in my direction.
I ran.
If I hadn’t just pissed, I’d have done it then. I wasn’t looking where I was going. I tripped over a rock and hit the ground hard. I yelled in frustration. I didn’t feel a thing. My only concern was getting inside the cabin. But my back was turned. My back was turned and that thing was somewhere behind me. The thing without a face. No eyes, no mouth. I scrambled to my feet and didn’t look back.
Into the light. I made it, I was inside. But I wasn’t going to stick around.
Where were my car keys? On the couch. I took them into my hand and threw on my backpack. I was out the front door in thirty seconds. Getting myself to take another step into the dark was like pulling teeth, but I managed. I sprinted to the car. My hands were shaking so much I dropped the keys. It was right behind me, I could feel it. Or, at least, I imagined it. I didn’t dare look to find out. “Come on!” I screamed as I picked the keys up off the ground. I unlocked the door. I jumped inside. I turned the key. The engine stalled. “No! No, no, no!” Expletives flew out my mouth at a pace they never before had. I tried again, and gave it some gas. My old Chevy roared to life.
When the headlights came on, I was sure I’d see him standing there, but whatever it was was nowhere to be seen. It was only a small comfort. I put her in reverse, and was soon on my way down that lonely dirt road. I hoped, downright prayed, that I was heading in the right direction, but I couldn’t think. All that occupied my mind was what I saw in that shed.
It was then I saw something that should’ve scared me more than the man without a face. A single snowflake hit my windshield.
The snow fell heavier and heavier by the second. The windshield wipers were on full-blast. The radio turned to static. I didn’t understand how the weather could’ve changed so drastically so quickly, and so early in the year. I felt like God was punishing me. Why now?
A couple miles down the dirt path, I merged onto a narrow asphalt road. This was where I had come from. I was going the right way. All was pitch dark except for my car’s headlights. I couldn’t see more than fifteen feet in front of me. The snow was starting to stick on the ground, but I didn’t slow down. I had to get away from there.
It was a mistake. It was all such a mistake.
The road made a sharp turn left down the mountain. I very nearly went off the side of a cliff. My heart was pounding, my head ached. I went to wipe the sweat from off my brow. I didn’t see the creature that leapt in front of my car.
The impact was hard. I hit the brakes and spun the wheel more than I should’ve as the thing flew over my cracked windshield. A second impact. I had rammed my poor old Chevy right into a tree.
It was all a blur, I must’ve hit my head on the wheel. I was lucky I didn’t go flying out the windshield. The car was totaled, and my leg hurt. I opened the car door and fell onto the snowy ground. I couldn’t see a thing. I could feel myself losing consciousness. I just wanted to go to sleep, and so I did.
It was some time before I awoke with a start. I was freezing cold, and covered in a thick blanket of snow, which was still falling just as hard. The white-white snow at least reflected what little moonlight pierced the veil of clouds above, making it possible to see the landscape around me. The deer that I had hit laid dormant nearby, as stiff as could be.
How long had I been out? I tried sitting up. My leg. It was so painful. I brought out my phone and turned on the flashlight. The snow was red with blood from a deep gash in my left shin. It made me nauseous to look at. It was 11 P.M., and I had 13 missed calls from my mother. I could guess why; the storm had blanketed everything in six inches of snow.
I tried calling her back. No service. I tried calling 911. Not a chance.
Am I going to die out here? I didn’t want to die. I really, really didn’t want to die. Then get up, Hal. I heard my uncle Rob’s voice in my head, of all people. I thought of my mom and dad. I thought of Jessica.
I forced myself to my feet. I took a step forward. Searing pain shot through my leg. I was shivering in the cold. I didn’t know what I was going to do, except that I was going to survive. Somehow.
I can hardly remember what happened next, but I can guess. Hours of uphill shuffling in the dark, gritting my teeth through the pain. It didn’t make sense how I ended up back at that cabin, but that’s exactly what happened.
The sun was close to rising, I could see the world brighten a bit; but the clouds overhead were still loath to let the sunlight through. The cabin’s bright lights led me to it, like a lighthouse on the shore. It was the only thing for miles around, and my only hope of survival.
The place looked so different in the fog, buried in snow. Gone was the beauty of autumn, replaced with the biting dreariness of a cold, lonely winter. And somewhere in the woods, whether near or far, was the man whose face was skinned over.
The front door was wide open.
I went inside. It wasn’t much warmer, but at least I was sheltered from the heavy snowfall. I checked my phone again. Still no service. I wondered how long it would be before rescue arrived, or if it would arrive at all. With no car, no cell service, a dwindling phone battery, and a gaping wound… things looked grim. My best hope was to wait for the storm to clear enough that I could get a call through.
My leg was still bleeding. The cold, I imagine, numbed the pain; but that was hardly a good thing. I limped to the bedroom and tore the sheets off the bed into several thin strips, which I used to tightly bandage the gash after cleaning it with tap water. It was all I could do. I bundled myself into the remaining blankets and drifted to sleep. I was absolutely exhausted.
I have no idea how long it was before a sudden clattering woke me up. I didn’t have to wonder what had caused it. I knew it was that thing again. A lump formed in my throat. I felt so safe and warm in those blankets, and I could hardly move my legs without burning pain scorching my nervous system. But I was in mortal danger. I heaved myself up on my aching feet and peeked out the door of the bedroom. All was still.
The cabin was small, consisting of a living area, a tiny kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom. I could see nearly the whole house from my position in the doorway.
Another crash. This time, I heard where it had come from—beneath me. How could it be beneath me?
I was absolutely defenseless. The tool shed. I remembered the axe resting against the wall. I limped as fast as I could out the back door. The snow reached halfway up my calves. I paused at the doorway. I remembered seeing the creature in that shed. I had caught only a flash in the stark light from my phone, but the image was burned into memory. A tall, hairless man wearing nothing at all, pasty white except blue veins. Smooth skin where his face should’ve been. I didn’t want to look. I looked anyway. It wasn’t there. I let out a sigh of relief, but the anxiety returned tenfold. It isn’t in the shed. It’s under the house.
I grabbed the axe. As I turned around, I realized where the sound had come from. Next to the cabin was an open hatch leading to a basement that I hadn’t noticed before. He’s in there.
I gathered my courage. I’d finish this, once and for all. I’m coming for you, you bastard.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins. I hardly felt the wound in my leg as I limped down those steep concrete stairs. The air was rank, and all was dark. “Come out!” I shouted. “Come out, you freak!” I couldn’t see a thing except the dark silhouettes of various effects. Boxes, shelves, and the like. Various objects were scattered along the ground, surely the source of the crashing noises I heard.
“I know you’re in here,” I said.
For all my macho energy in that moment, I still fell backwards in horror when I saw him stand from his hunched position in the corner. I dropped the axe, I couldn’t breathe. It was just a shadow, a thin, ghostly image staring at me from the other side of the room.
Imagine my surprise when he raised his hands in surrender.
“W-What?” I stuttered.
He maintained the pose.
“Don’t come any closer,” I said. I meant for it to sound threatening, but only the sounds of desperate fear escaped my mouth. “Tell me what you are!” I grabbed the axe again and used it to push myself up off the ground.
He remained silent and motionless.
I scanned the room for a light source of some kind. There was a pull-chain in the center of the room. “Don’t move!” I said as I shuffled my way there. “I mean it!” I pulled the chain, and a single bulb lit up the cellar.
Standing before me in the dim light was a thin man, probably 6’5. He was totally naked, but he had no sexual organs. Everything was smooth, like a ken doll. I could hear strained, muffled breathing coming from where his mouth should’ve been. His raised arms conveyed a message: “I mean you no harm.”
“Do you… do you need help?” I asked.
He nodded his head.
The man was sat on the old sofa. I sat across from him on a chair. Just looking him over, again and again. I didn’t understand how any of this was possible. I had a boxcutter in my hand.
“I’m going to cut open the skin covering your mouth so you can breathe,” I said.
He tensed up, but nodded again.
I moved closer to him and raised the blade. This is disgusting, I thought. I plunged the shallow blade into his face. Blood spurt out onto my own. The man clenched his fists. Clearly, it hurt. Breath passed through the hole I made. I cut more, until a somewhat mouth-shaped hole adorned him, caked in blood. He heaved in a great breath and tried coughing, but something was still wrong. I looked into his mouth. There was no tongue, no teeth, no red or pink flesh. It was all that same smooth, clammy skin, extending all the way down his esophagus. “My God,” I whispered.
The man shook, probably in pain. He raised a trembling finger to his face, gesturing to the spot where his eyes should be. That’s where I cut next. A single, wild eye emerged from the bloody gash I inflicted on his flesh. It was bloodshot and full of fear.
I moved on to the next, put the triangular blade of the boxcutter into the bleeding skin, and carved a slit into his smooth face. But I cut too deeply, the blade scraped across his eye. Blood sprayed out of the wound like a fountain. He jerked back in pain, and held his hand to his now blind left eye. He knocked the boxcutter out of my hand, it clattered to the floor.
“I’m sorry!” I shot out.
The man emitted a choked, gagged, muffled noise that must have been cries of pain. He hunched himself into a ball on the couch and trembled.
What was going on? What in the world had happened to this man? My head throbbed, as did my leg. Cold sweat dripped down my face. This was a nightmare.
I didn’t know how much worse things could be.
I heard a sound coming from outside the cabin. It was like a moan; deep and long, almost like a whale’s call.
The man’s head perked up. His good eye stared out the front window. He looked to me.
“What is that?” Dread filled my soul’s every pore.
The sound came again.
The man leapt to his feet and dashed out the back door into the forest, into the fog and the snow.
I stood and limped to the window. I saw something emerge from the lake. It saw me, too. A great amorphous shape obscured in the fog. It moaned as it moved towards the cabin.
I hunched down and desperately gasped. I had been holding my breath. What do I do? What do I do?
The window darkened. I looked up. Pressed against the glass was a wall of skin. My mouth opened in horror. The glass cracked.
I scrambled out the back door, the same way the man had gone. The axe! I thought—like an axe would make a difference.
The window broke, and that awful moan came again; but I didn’t look back. I rushed down the stairs of the deck and into the cellar. I held the axe in my hands, but I didn’t feel any safer.
The creature was right behind me. Down the steep stairs, the pulsating blob moved with the sound of wet meat slapping against stone. It was made entirely of saggy, fatty skin. What resembled human limbs were bent out at odd angles all over its body. It was so large it scraped the ceiling. On its head—I thought it looked like a head of sorts—was no face. It was a long tube of wrinkly skin, like an elephant’s trunk, wide enough to swallow a man whole.
In a final act of desperate defiance, I swung the axe into its side. When I tried pulling it out, I quickly realized it was stuck. Skin moved from the creature to the axe, swallowing it into itself.
The thing’s proboscis swung towards me and caught me in the face. It clasped over my head. The air was sucked out around me. I couldn’t breathe. The tube of pulsating skin wrapped all around my body and began swallowing me into the greater mass of the monster. I felt flabby, cold skin surround me, caress me, become a part of me. I opened my mouth to scream, and the skin coated the inside of me. Inside my mouth, inside my throat, my lungs, my stomach, all lined with new skin. It all tightened around me, melded with my own nervous system and blood vessels. It was my skin now as much as it was the creature’s.
I understand now what the sound I heard the night prior was, the sound I thought I heard from the forest behind my uncle Rob’s cabin. It was screaming, shrieking, soul-piercing cries. I understand because those are the sounds I found myself making as the thing made me a part of itself before returning again to the bottom of that lake. I screamed and screamed till my vocal cords gave out. I wished that someone would hear me, I wished that someone would help. But no help would come until the snow on that mountain was cleared.
Until then, I was left to myself. Blind, starving, hardly able to breathe. Skinned over.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Finale
I think it’s time to face facts: I really am no different from those morons in horror movies after all.
I’ve been doing a lot of poking my nose where it doesn’t belong recently. Recently, I found something interesting in one of the old storage closets: a school photo marked September `14. There the headmistress was in the back, and I could almost swear I saw a smile there, which I’d previously thought impossible. But she wasn’t the only face I recognized. That little girl in the bottom right… it had to be Katie.
Sure, she looked different. Blank and robotic and expressionless, like the Hastings were. As if she didn’t quite realize how to act human yet. But it had to be her. Sure, it was chronologically impossible, but at this point, I was ready to believe anything.
I beckoned her over to have a seat next to me at recess, photo in hand. “Hey, Katie,” I greeted. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to ask if this picture, well… looked familiar to you.”
She took one look at the photo, and the biggest grin dawned on her face. “Oooh, hehe, yeah, I remember that! That was when I first got here!” She held it in her hands, and started laughing giddily at the sight of herself looking so stone-faced. “Look at me! I look so goofy! Man, I really had no idea what I was doing back then!”
“Are you sure? Because this photo, well… it was taken around ten years ago. According to your file, you would’ve been a baby when this was taken.” I took a deep breath. “Katie, can I… can I ask how long you’ve been going to this school?”
She froze. That big grin slowly fell into a frown, her voice lowering. “That’s… one of the things I’m not supposed to tell you.” She shrugged. “Sorry.”
One of the things? Oh, God only knows just how many things even my students know about this school that I’m hopelessly unaware of. I think she could see the despair on my face, because she tried offering something else in recompense. “But I can tell you abooout… him!” She pointed eagerly to the boy standing beside her in the photo, an unassuming lad with dirty blonde hair. I’d never seen him before. “You see him? His name was Elijah! He was my very first friend, ever! He was the headmistress’ son, did you know that?”
“No, I had no idea.” I shook my head, flabbergasted. I couldn’t imagine that statue of a woman having any family whatsoever. “Wait… was? Can I… can I ask what happened to him?”
She looked left and right, before leaning in and whispering furtively in my ear. “Hunters.”
And then her friends called her over, and she went right back to chasing them around the playground, leaving me with a million lingering questions.
I’ll be honest — I’m not coping with all of this terribly well. I’m already lapsing back into old, bad habits. There’s a good reason, after all, that I was fired from my last real job. But the moment I step onto school grounds, I force that smile back on my face. Can’t let the kids know that there’s anything wrong with ol’ Mister Vermeil.
But I’ll be honest. Sometimes, when I see them, I just can’t help but wonder what hides beneath those masks of human skin.
Am I doing the right thing here? The social skills I’m teaching were supposed to help them live a normal life — but what if they don’t end up choosing that path? What if one of them instead opts to follow in their parents’ footsteps, and grows up to ply the skills I taught them to lure in human prey? Blend into society like a skinwalker, and pick people off one by one? Would that blood be on my hands?
It was just as my doubts were at their peak when I received the first text, from an unknown number. I was ready to dismiss it as typical spam, but opening it stole my breath away. It was a distant photo of me and Katie as we’d just been talking — and judging from the angle, it must have been taken from inside the school. I quickly glanced up at the upper windows, but saw no sign of any silhouette staring back at me.
Accompanying it was simply the words: ’Do you know what she is? Do you really, truly know?’
I know I should have blocked the number, and immediately contacted the headmistress. But curiosity burned in my chest. I needed to know. So I replied, honestly, that I hadn’t the foggiest idea.
The next text came almost instantly. ’This is the trail of death her mother has left behind in her wake. Study it carefully.’ Accompanying it was photos of several clippings from old local newspapers from various countries and decades.
The first came from the codrii of Moldavia. An old man complained to the municipality about a terrible buzzing that would echo across his fields for hours at a time. And then the letters stopped, and three months later, his body was discovered. Part of the reason it took so long was the complete absence of the stench of deterioration. It was though he’d been embalmed in his own bed — all fluids drained and organs removed with surgical precision. Cause of death was ruled as exsanguination.
The next came from the forests of the Cameroonian Highlands. A married couple and their child had gone out on a routine hiking expedition, and excitedly texted a friend about an immense ‘bird’ they’d seen that had briefly blotted out the sun. That text was the last time they were ever seen or heard from. A week later, a farmer saw one of their skins fluttering in the breeze. That’s it — just the hollowed, transparent, dried-out set of skin. The farmer had attempted to catch it, but the skin blew away in the wind like discarded wrapping paper, and was never recovered.
That was just the start. He had a whole laundry list of articles, and pouring over them brought tears to my eyes. Oh God, those poor people. What kind of creature could even do that sort of thing? My eyes drifted back to Katie, and I wondered again what laid beneath that disguise. Given the age of that photo, was she even truly a child? For all I know, she could be older than I am.
Another text. ’This place is playing you for a fool. I know what’s really going on here. Meet me in your office.’
In my dinky little office: nothing. Doubt crept in. Was this some sort of test set up by the headmistress? I was just about to take my leave, when suddenly, an unfamiliar voice opened up from directly above me. “Mister Vermeil.”
I looked up… and saw a face staring down at me from the vent grate in the ceiling.
No, not a face. It had all the features of a face; eyes, ears, nose, smiling mouth. But all arranged in the wrong order, as if plastered wantonly to a discolored, lumpen dough ball of flesh. It felt like something out of a dream.
I stammered blithely, uselessly. The meat started to push forward, dividing itself into five neat sections through the slits in the vent grill like a human body being pushed through a pastry cutter. I watched as tissues and sinews and raw bone dropped to the floor like melting candle wax, melding into a puddle of viscera that grew solid as more biomass gelled with its bulbous form.
And in time, that puddle of meat dripping from the ceiling became a man. That smiling face was staring me down again, now in proper arrangement yet no less deranged. He was handsome, actually, with a fit figure as perfect as his fine-gelled hair. Nude, but sexless as a Ken doll.
I finally started to run for help… but was stopped by the feeling of something digging into the side of my neck hard enough to draw blood. A jagged bone had jut from his wrist like the point of a spear. “Ah ah ah. You had your chance to go running away. It’s too late now,” he whispered. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I only wanted to make your acquaintance. I’m a big fan of yours, after all.”
“A… a fan?”
“I’ve always admired the sort of man willing to betray his own species for a quick buck,” he mocked. “This is nothing personal, really. I’m just here to do my job, just like you. In fact… I was thinking we could work together.”
I felt like I might faint. Seeing this, he let me sit down at my desk, albeit with the bone still to my throat. “Who… what… are you?”
“Call me… Saladin,” he answered, in a tone that made it clear it was a pseudonym. “And… well, I’d like to say that I’m still human, but that would be a lie, wouldn’t it? Used to be. But in my line of work, I’ve had to find ways to… even the playing field.” I noticed the irony of being accused of ‘betraying my species’ by a man who seemed to have forsaken his altogether. I was reminded of an old Nietzche quite, something about ‘he who fights monsters’…
“Don’t you mock me, boy.” His face suddenly soured, as if he’d read my thoughts. “You’d become some breed of horror, too, if you’d kept consorting with these unnatural things. When dealing with matters of the occult for long, there are two options: sacrifice your life, or your humanity. There is no third path.”
His cocky grin returned. “Just ask poor William.”
Just hearing that name was like a punch to the lungs. It knocked the breath from me. “William? You…?”
“Of course I knew him. He was one of my feelers. I posted him out here to see if it would lure out the hunting dogs. Prove this place is really as the rumors say. And sure enough…”
A streak of rage rose in my chest, battling the fear. “And now… you want me to be your next useful idiot?”
“I always like a man on the inside,” he taunted. “I only need to kill one child. Just a single one. And this entire Initiative will fall apart like a house of playing cards. All the trust the Headmistress has built up with the parents… oh, they’d all tear her limb from limb.”
He saw the look of horror on my face, and laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re actually loyal to her. Did she… warn you of the danger you were in when you took this job? Has she done anything to your benefit? Do you really think she cares?”
“Why do you think she even hired you? Just out of the kindness of her heart? She’s a big believer in giving second chances to losers with a drinking problem and a rap sheet?” He cackled. “No. It’s because you have nobody. You’re a loser, all alone. So in case one of those ‘kids’ gets the munchies one day… nobody will even notice you’re missing.”
“Sure, they may look harmless now. But make no mistake: sooner or later, some of those kids will need to feed. Isn’t their fault. It’s in their biology, their very being. They were made to prey on people like you and me. And you… you’re planning on helping them blend in! Surround themselves with clueless pedestrians with tasty blood in their veins and meat on their bones. You don’t see what’s going to happen if this Initiative succeeds?”
He could see it on my face: the doubt was creeping in. He grinned, retracting his blade and patting me on the shoulder. “One kid. That’s all I need. I just need to get one alone. But they’re too smart for that. Always travel in packs. Sleep in that bunker down the mountain. But you? For you, it’d be trivial…”
As if on cue, there was a small knock on the door.
A big grin crossed over Saladin’s face. He held a finger to his lips as he melted through the slats of my closet, disappearing into the darkness just before my door went swinging open. There stood Katie, eyes low.
She didn’t seem to notice the sweat on my brow, the drop of blood on my neck, or the stupefied expression on her face. Her gaze was on the floor, nervous, as she sat across from me. “Mister Vermeil? I was thinking, and… I know I said I’m not supposed to tell you certain stuff about the school and all. But… I think you deserve to hear it, you know? Just don’t tell the headmistress what I told you, okay?”
My throat felt dry. I could hardly think. Saladin’s words echoed in my head: just one child. But seeing Katie’s face reminded me that I didn’t need to pick sides in some war I didn’t understand. Sitting across from me was a child I’d been tasked with protecting. That was all I needed to know. “Th… th-thank you, Katie, but I really think y-you should go… play with your friends, or…”
“It’s really no trouble! I dunno why she wants to keep so many secrets from you anyway. It’s not like you won’t figure it out, sooner or later…”
She didn’t notice the droplets of liquid meat that were Saladin blowing in behind her like raindrops caught in a heavy wind. By the time flesh and sinew reformed itself over her face to muffle her scream, he’d already had her ensnared. It was like an anaconda coiling around its prey, the way those ropes of tendrilled, bubbling flesh entwined themselves around her, and Saladin’s face emerged from those slivers of meat.
“Little miss… Katie, isn’t it? Must be my lucky day. Your mother is a busy woman, you know. My client lost every single little person he loved to that thirst of hers.”
He was drawing something from his throat — some kind of black dagger, pulling it up like a sword swallower. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention. I’d leapt into action the moment he was occupied. Maybe all those horror movies paid off, after all. If there was anything they taught me, it’s that any creature built of constantly morphing flesh always had the same weakness: fire.
All it took from my desk was a half-empty can of deodorant and my dad’s old lighter. I plied my makeshift flamethrower to whatever part of that oozing, fleshy mass looked the most exposed, pink and vulnerable. The heat and size of the erupting flames surprised even myself.
He squealed like a stuck pig through unnatural vocal chords, and a tendril of flesh batted me across the room like I was weightless. But it’d worked. Whatever parts of him the flames had touched were left bubbling and frothing, gooey and viscous like melted wax. But as he thrashed and whined, Katie seized the moment and let out her tongue.
No, not a tongue. It was a proboscis. A long black, spiral tube, like you’d see on a butterfly. She’d tried to jab it into his neck, but he’d jerked his head at the last moment, and it ended up somewhere far worse: pierced through his eye.
I thought the formless flesh that was Saladin was terrifying enough. But it was more terrifying still to watch it fade away, to see that flesh turn pale and veins wither like dying vines over taut, throbbing muscles. I realized she was sucking his blood through that proboscis like it was a drinking straw, and whatever other life essence flowed through the thing that was once a man. In seconds, his eyes and cheeks sunk in his face, like he was aging decades. I could only imagine what that proboscis would do to an ordinary human like myself.
She was an inexperienced hunter. Saladin, wailing now, managed to worm his way out of her grip before the job was done. He took off through the window, seeming to evaporate as he smashed through the glass, letting the wind carry off those droplets of meat and empty veins as he scattered himself to the breeze.
And yet again, another horror had gone as quickly as it’d come.
Katie pounced on me. I’d cried out for a moment, assuming she meant to turn that proboscis on me. But instead, she wrapped me in a hug. “Mister Vermeil! You saved me! I know that we could trust you! Ooh, you’re the best teacher ever!” I hugged her back just as the headmistress and the hounds from security came kicking down the door, and found an office covered in bubbling viscera.
I told the headmistress everything. In retrospect, I was shockingly honest. She was just as stoic as always through most of it, but the mention of the word ‘Saladin’ inspired a look of horror I’d never seen in her before. “Him? No. He couldn’t have found us,” she whispered to herself, cupping a hand over her mouth.
I’m laying in the infirmary now, being cared for by a nurse with a third eye and no interest in hiding it. That would have horrified me before. Now, I just cracked a smile. For better or worse, I’ve picked my side.
I’m sticking by these kids, even if it leads me straight into Hell.
Part 4

** ALL WEEKEND (FRI 5/3 - SUN 5/5) *\*
10 AM - 2 PM Beetlejuice Tea Party Snapdragon Tea, 115 Harvard Dr. SE Themed tea party in tribute to Beetlejuice coming to Popejoy Hall! Enjoy three themed courses of small bites, accompanied by two pots of hot tea of your choice. One weekend only! We welcome kids of all ages to our tea parties. Children’s menus, gluten free, vegetarian and vegan menus are available upon request as well. Reservations required
** BOTH FRI 5/3 AND SAT 5/4 *\*
8 AM - 2 PM Old Fashioned Church Rummage Sale Hope in the Desert Episcopal Church, 8700 Alameda Blvd. NE Snag amazing deals on really good stuff - from furniture to kitchen items, household essentials, electronics, and much more!
Fri 7 - 9 PM Sat 2 - 4 PM New MexiChords In Concert! Sentimental Journey St. John's United Methodist Church, 2626 Arizona St. NE A Capella Live Concert! Join us for as we reminisce through favorite songs. Special guest: Quartet of All Time! $15 Tickets at Door
** BOTH SAT 5/4 AND SUN 5/5 *\*
Sat 3 - 5 PM Sun 2 - 4 PM Mother's Day Kid's Gift Making Workshop Pinspiration, 6271 Riverside Plaza Ln. NW, Ste D1 Join us for a unique and fun way for your kiddos to honor and celebrate their mom, aunts, grandmas or any important mother figure in their lives. A hand-crafted gift from your child will really show mom how much they love them! Drop off the kiddos for an afternoon of crafting to make something very special! $35 per child (Special gift, Gift wrapping, Snack and drink). Workshop fee is non-refundable so if you're unable to attend, a studio credit will be given for another workshop, crafts or our splatter experience (register)
4 PM American Music - Then and Now The ABQ Civic Chorus is delighted and excited to welcome you to our spring concert. We are a group of over sixty vocal musicians with different backgrounds, professions, and musical training. Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Tickets purchased online will be available at the door and are good for either day

• Fri - First Christian Church, 10101 Montgomery Blvd. NE
• Sat - Asbury United Methodist Church, 10000 Candelaria NE

** Fri 5/3 *\*
Fri 10:45 AM – 12 PM Coffee Concert 4: Early Beethoven South Broadway Cultural Center, 1025 Broadway Blvd. SE Beethoven Prometheus (Die Geschöpfe des Prometheus): Overture; Beethoven Concerto, Piano, No. 3, Op. 37, c minor; Beethoven Symphony No. 2, Op. 36, D Major. The last NMPhil Coffee Concert of 2023/24 is sure to leave you excited for next season! Premiered in 1803 in Vienna and conducted by the composer himself, Beethoven’s second foray into the world of big, public symphonies combines his unique artistry with his humor, stated through various musical jokes in the Scherzo and Finale. The program—led by conductor Na’Zir McFadden—also includes Anthony Ratinov performing Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 3 to lighten your early-spring morning (tickets)
Fri 2 – 9 PM Grand Opening NM Rave Cave, 115 7th St. NW Come see our new location and check out our vendors, food trucks and local dj’s playing in store. Complete with an ABQ Live Photo Booth. Big Boss Hotlinks will be on site with Burgers, Dogs , Fries and more! We are teaming up with Viva ABQ, 505 Junglists, Carma Presents, ABQ Live, Unyk Lyfe, ASTRL Entertainment, Otter World Music, Audio Elite NM and Mr.Afterhours to bring you a one of a kind experience! Vendors - Alchemy Beauty - Magic Cup Boba Tea - Rastafari_Mari - Own The Day - The Mexican Witch - High Chi Mandalas - Astrl Ent
Fri 3:30 - 7:30 PM Family Block Party! Coldwell Banker Legacy Paseo, 8200 Carmel Ave NE Car show, bouncy houses, mechanical bull! Welcome to a celebration for our cherished community and the wonderful clients who make our work so rewarding!
Fri 5 PM Blueberry Berliner Weisse Release Tractor Brewing - All locations You asked for a sour and now you got one! Hitting your taste buds like spring allergies, the Blueberry Berliner will be available on tap everywhere
Fri 5 – 8 PM Honky Tonk for Hope, Health and Healing Dirty Bourbon Dance Hall & Saloon, 9800 Montgomery Blvd., Ste 4 Come dance the night away with us! There will be food, fun, and dancing! This fundraising event benefits Casa Esperanza! For more info, Jacob Romero 505-246-2706 or [jromero@casanm.org](mailto:jromero@casanm.org) (tickets)
Fri 6 PM Country Social Dance CSP Dance Studios, 1624 Eubank Blvd. NE The best country music for dancing to practice your Country Two Step, Night Club, West Coast Swing, East Coast Swing, Cha Cha, Waltz, Rhythm Two Step, 4-count Swing, Line Dancing and more! $10 cash at the door. Welcome lesson 6:00-6:30pm. Call 505-883-9521 for more info
Fri 6 PM 'Burque Bee 2024 Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Join us on the patio to show off your spelling chops. To give yourself an even better chance of winning, for $5 you can buy coupons like More Time (get 30 more seconds to confer), Stinger (sting your opponents!) and Help (get help from the audience). Team Registration $75. 3 people per team, limited to 12 teams (register)
Fri 6 PM Luke Bulla Concert Covenant Presbyterian Church, 9315 Candelaria Rd. NE Luke has been singing and playing music most of his life. Touring with and singing in his family band from age four, Luke has won National Fiddle Contest (in Weiser, Idaho) six times in his respective age categories. His seventh win came in the Grand Champion division at age sixteen, making him the youngest to have earned the title at the time. More recently Luke has performed and/or recorded with Brandi Carlile, Jim Lauderdale, Darrell Scott, Alison Krauss, Jerry Douglas, Sam Bush, Edgar Meyer, Bela Fleck, Kevin Costner & Modern West, Russ Barenberg Trio, Shawn Colvin, Tony Rice, Chris Thile, Peter Rowan, Rodney Crowell, and Earl Scruggs, to name a few. Doors 5:30 pm. Show 6 pm. Presented by Southwest Pickers
Fri 6 – 7:30 PM Spring Fling Dennis Chavez Elementary, 7500 Barstow St. NE Food trucks, face painters, a balloonist, a mobile petting zoo, School of Rock performances, lawn games, mini golf and a chance to dunk your principal and favorite teachers! (We could still use some extra hands to keep the event fun and seamless, if you could spare some time, sign up here)
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Pizza Paint & Craft Night Canvas and Coffee, 6700 4th St NW, Los Ranchos Date night for Mom and Dad... Drop off the kids (6+) for a Pizza dinner, then crafting, and painting fun! Each month we will offer a theme and will have 2 projects available for your child to make and take home the same evening! The materials they will be working with will be canvas painting, crafting with wood, beads, ribbon, mod podge, glue, acrylic paint, watercolors, and more! *Children with special dietary needs will need to bring their own snack/meal (tickets)
Fri 7 PM Group Therapy Band Marble Brewery, 111 Marble Ave NW Come dance your jitters away while listening to soothing music to calm a nervous world
Fri 7 PM Roust the House + Rock 101 Music Academy Performance Night Outpost Performance Space, 210 Yale Blvd. SE Roust the House and Rock 101 Music Academy return for another exciting season of performances featuring local teen bands and soloists, from punk rock to classical piano to singer-songwriters, hip hoppers, spoken word artists, and more, including The Hunnies, a Rock 101 alumni band, and other talented up-and-coming musicians. Tonight’s show features winners of Rock 101’s Band League Challenge and more. Founded in 2011 by Director Kevin Herig, Rock 101 Music Academy is a year-round program for musicians as young as 4 years old through their teen years featuring one on one and group lessons, band mentoring, and more (tickets)
Fri 7 – 9 PM Tacos & Rides Truck Night Cafe Bella Coffee, 2604 Violeta Cir SE, Rio Rancho Join us for a night where trucks reign supreme. Roll in with your ride—whether it's lifted, lowered, or custom-built. All trucks welcome! Showcase your pride and joy. Connect & Converse: Swap stories and ideas with fellow truck and auto enthusiasts. Savor: Bite into delicious street tacos and chill out with good eats. Safety First: Courtesy presence by Rio Rancho Police for a safe, fun evening. Drive in, hang out, and fuel your passion for trucks at NM's longest-running automotive meet. Let's keep the wheels turning and the tacos grilling!
Fri 7 – 10 PM Ulthar Sister, 407 Central Ave NW This Bay Area band is sowing the seeds of planetary entropy by way of horrifying blacked cosmic death metal (tickets)
Fri 7 – 10 PM Galactic Funk Star Wars Party w/ Kaleido Tractor Brewing - Westside, 5720 McMahon Blvd. NW Come celebrate Star Wars weekend with killer tunes from the always amazing DJ Kaleido!
Fri 8 – 11 PM First Fridays w/ DJ Flo Fader Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE He's just too good to not have in Nob Hill at least once a month. Come jam out with one of NM's absolute BEST DJs and kick off your weekend with FLO FADER!
Fri 8:30 PM – 12 AM 1st Fridays SBKZ Alley Kats Tap Company, 219 Truman St. NE Joining the Salsa, Bachata, Kizomba, and Zouk dance communities has been a blast! Please join us as we welcome ABQ resident DJ Karla of Metta Dance Collective and welcome back world renowned Ry’el of Zenzouk for another amazing social! Theme: Sparkles -- Let’s sparkle and shine with gratitude for having Ry’el and Rachel with us the last 3 going on 4 months! There will be 2 ROOMS! Room 1: Salsa & Bachata. Room 2: Zouk & Kizomba. Music by DJ Karla - Room 1, DJ Yaz - Room 2. $10 Cover: Cash/Venmo/Cashapp accepted. Snacks and drinks provided
Fri 9 PM The Millennium Video Music Dance Party -“Barbie Prom” Sunshine Theater, 120 Central Ave NW Get ready for a night of electrifying nostalgia Millennium Video Music Dance Party presents the ultimate “Barbie Prom” extravaganza, unlike anything you've experienced before! Brace yourself for the most sensational, dazzling, and downright iconic 90s and 2000s Video Music Dance Party to ever grace our town! Picture this: a world that exudes the glamour, glitz, energy, of your very own Barbie dream world. Prepare to be dazzled into a shimmering oasis of pink, glitter, and all things fabulous. Whether you're channeling the chic sophistication of Barbie herself or embracing the edgy coolness of Ken, this is your chance to shine like never before! Dance the night away to the biggest hits from the 90s and 2000s, (100% Music videos) curated to perfection to keep you grooving all night. Think Beyonce, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Pitbull, One Direction, Kesha, Usher, Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, Eminem, 50 Cent, Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Flo Rida, Britney Spears…. and beyond – Get ready to strike a pose at our dedicated Barbie Prom photo-booth, make memories that are guaranteed to last for years to come (tickets)
Fri 9 – 11:30 PM LoPhat Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Dance to Live Music by one of ABQ's top R&B-flavored bands! From the Caribbean to Baltimore, from Detroit to El Paso, from the Pacific Islands to ABQ… with this melting pot of soul, rhythms, experience, and passion, there isn’t a “skool” that isn’t represented! LoPhat believes there is something to be learned from every soul that crosses your path. This way of thinking has given them the ability to incorporate and masterfully execute most genres of music and makes them a class all their own. Surpassing all “Variety Bands” with more listening choices than your radio, this band is sure to have something even the most skeptical listeners will enjoy. Founded in 2023, this band has gained a committed following. In their first year they have already played for Sandia Casino, CABQ, NM State Fair, Gathering of Nations, Ohkay Casino, Route 66 Casino, and so many more! LoPhat is set to release their first album in 2024 showcasing their melding of different cultures to bring you “feel good” music in a way that seems so familiar yet so new! (tickets)
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Back in the Day: A First Friday Experience Backstage at Revel, 4720 Alexander Blvd. NE DJs Gonzo Supreme and Clout will be spinning all your favorite 90s and 2000s Hip Hop & R&B hits and more! 21+ (tickets)
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Dr. NW Get ready for an unforgettable night as DJs Julio & Soiree take the outdoor stage, promising an electrifying journey into Latin music. Let the pulsating rhythms and contagious energy sweep you away as you dance under the stars. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a seasoned Reggaeton enthusiast or simply looking for a night of unparalleled fun and excitement, this event promises an experience like no other! (tickets)
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM OMEN - the debut haunting psychedelic feature by Belgian-Congolese musican/artist Baloji The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. Baloji - 2024 - 90m - Democratic Republic of Congo, Netherlands, Belgium - In French, Swahli, Lingala, English with subtitles. After spending years in Belgium, Koffi (Marc Zinga), a young Congolese man, returns to his birthplace of Kinshasa to confront his family and homeland culture. Secrecy and sorcery erupt when a nosebleed is mistaken for a curse, and Koffi is shunned from his family. Using magical realism to paint a portrait of “undesirables” and “sorcerers,” OMEN delves into the intricacies of identity, culture, and belief systems through a deeply rich and visually captivating lens (tickets)
** Sat 5/4 ** -- Star Wars Day
Sat 8 AM May Volunteer Clean Up Historic Fairview Cemetery, 700 Yale Blvd. SE Mustard is running rampant! We'll focus on doing what we can to address those weeds. Please dress to protect yourself from the strong Southwest sun. Wear sunscreen, a hat, long pants and shirts, sturdy shoes. Bring tools and gloves to garden, we'll provide the trash bags, water and snacks
Sat 8 – 11 AM Rigs & Coffee Pinon Coffee House, 4545 Alameda Blvd. Get ready for a unique automotive experience! This gathering is all about celebrating the spirit of adventure and the love for off-road vehicles
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM OPENING DAY! 6718 Rio Grande Blvd NW, Los Ranchos WE'RE BACK! Come kick off the opening day of the regular season of the Los Ranchos Art Market! Plenty of parking and open space for all! Free entry! Pet friendly! Bring your family and friends to kick off the season and pick out that special mom a beautiful high quality hand made gift by our local artists!
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, Every Saturday! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-Apr to early-Nov. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8:30 AM Workout Fun in the Park! 9709 Layton Ave NE Join BFit505 for a fun community workout! Wear your walking/running shoes, a workout clothes. All ages, all fitness levels. Just $5 drop in to the park!
Sat 9 AM Cinco De Mayo Celebration Osuna Nursery, 501 Osuna Rd. NE Celebrate Cinco de Mayo early with a full day of celebration! You'll find: • chips & salsa • a special mix from DJ Everedy of Red Sapphire Entertainment • Osuna University 'Planting for Pollinators' with local author and landscape designer Judith Phillips from 11am-12pm. It's the perfect opportunity to brighten up your own celebrations with beautiful blooms and gorgeous serving-ware including artisan talavera
Sat 9 AM – 1 PM Herb Day 2024 Sonia Masocco Phytotherapy, 11930 Menaul Blvd NE, Ste 109 This is our Annual Herb Day Open House & Medicinal Plant Sale. Come visit your local herbal apothecary, mingle with like minded people, purchase your plants for your medicinal or aromatic garden or just come and have a cup of tea with us. This event is free, for all ages with parking lot access
Sat 9 AM – 4 PM La Cueva Band Booster Club Annual Spring Craft Fair La Cueva High School, Perfect time to pick up a unique Mother's Day gift from over 140 artists and vendors!
Sat 9 AM – 6 PM Heels & Wheels - Women's Ride Day! Indian Motorcycle, 4509 Alameda Blvd. NE Ladies, we invite you to come out and ride your bike! Ride on your own, with your significant other, with friends or find some riding partners at the event. You set your pace and ride your ride. We will be at Indian Motorcycle 9am - 11am. Grab some food and some coffee or tea at the trucks on site. Check out all the sales on bikes and gear before or after you stop by registration in the back. We will have a few stations and tables set up that we would love for you to check out. There will be some trivia at the end location for some giveaways. You will be provided a wrist band and a list of participating businesses with their addresses and hours of operation so you can plan your ride. make it a day, make it fun, stop and have lunch but visit as many of the businesses as you like. You will be collecting beads from each business you visit. These beads will only be given to a female who has a wrist band, but all are welcome to ride. Many of the businesses will have their own party going on to celebrate this day with you. Stop in and support these local businesses and collect your beads. Bring all those beads to Hops Brewery, 7222 4th St NW, Los Ranchos between 3pm-6pm. Trade them in for free raffle tickets that you can use to win many great prizes we have collected from our participating businesses. Don't worry, if you didn't collect beads or need more raffle tickets we will have them on sale and everyone is welcome to purchase as many as you like. Then grab a bite and a drink. Mingle, shop some of our vendors, enjoy the giveaways, and performance by live band, Crazy Bird! They are amazing so we hope you can dance in your biker boots (tickets)
Sat 10 AM Storybook Garden Spring Planting Day Corrales Community Library, 84 W La Entrada, Corrales We will be planting the children's Storybook Garden! Beans: Calima, Provider, Rattlesnake. Cucumbers: Dragon's Egg, Mexican Sour Gherkin. Tomatoes: A Grippoli d'Inverno, Black Cherry, Brad's Crazy Cherry, Chocolate Sprinkles, Punta Bando, Rosella, Sunrise Bumble Bee, Yellow Pear. Squash: Tromconcino
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Fourth Annual Car Show 5111 Wilshire Ave NE All are welcome to participate in our annual car show! Corvette, Porsche, Lamborghini, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, and more! There will be a gift basket raffle, free shirts for the first 10 cars, coffee, and snacks. PLEASE CALL SILVER STAR AUTO HAUS AT 505-881-4855 TO REGISTER YOUR CAR!
Sat 10 AM – 1 PM Eternal Bonds & Bubbles with Link x Lou Sawmill Market, 1909 Bellamah Ave NW Indulge in an intimate setting where every ticket promises an unforgettable experience, featuring a complimentary glass of house wine or mocktail (Rosé, White, Red), a curated charcuterie board available to order, and a special $40 credit towards the permanent jewelry of your choice from Link x Lou (tickets)
Sat 10 AM – 2 PM Craft Fair Second Hand Sam's Indoor Mall,1020 Veranda Drive SE, Rio Rancho Space rentals $20. For more info, call 505-544-2636
Sat 10 AM – 2 PM The 2nd & Coal Pop-up! Flyby Provisions, 201 Coal Ave SW We’re bringing the community together for a day of shopping, music, and delicious food! Get ready to explore an eclectic mix of handcrafted treasures from over 20 local vendors, showcasing their unique creations! From handmade jewelry to artisanal foods and everything in between, there’s something for everyone at our market
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM DLC Truck Parks Spring PopUp! 2520 Jefferson St. NE Come support our local vendors! Variety of fun foods and products!
Sat 10 AM – 4 PM Tracks, Tunes, & Taps: A Steam Locomotive 2926 Fundraiser Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW • Live Music by RJ Perez at noon! • One of the largest steam locomotives on the Planet! • See History Alive! See her run! Become a volunteer and work on our next project! Hear her whistle! All proceeds go toward the continued maintenance and future operations. NM Steam Locomotive and Railroad Historical Society, in charge of the operation of the historic Santa Fe Railway steam locomotive 2926 have finished renovations on this beautiful train and they'll be bringing it to the tracks next to Tractor Wells Park! Come check out this amazing piece of history and get on board!
Sat 10 AM – 4 PM Art Show Fundraiser Unity Spiritual Center, 9800 Candelaria Rd. NE Come and see the vast array of art from our local artists. Find gifts, beautiful and functional objects, and art to adorn your spaces. This is our first art show at Unity and it promises to be a good one! Our Unity EarthCare Team is hosting this art fair. Funds raised are going toward xeriscaping our property and other earth friendly efforts to save water and support pollinators. Snacks, drinks, and live music on the lawn, weather permitting. Painters, Photographers, Sculptors, Potters, Mixed Media Artists, and more have been invited
Sat 10 AM – 4 PM ABQ International Festival San Pedro, between Kathryn and Anderson A day filled with fun and festivities, including live music, kids' play area, delicious food, and local vendors!
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Fun and Games Fundraiser ABQ Speech Language and Hearing Center (ASLHC), 9500 Montgomery Blvd. NE, Ste 215 Join us for a fun-filled afternoon of games and activities, with delicious food provided by @ withlovewaffles. A huge thank you to Eagle Credit Union for their financial support!
Sat 11 AM - 4 PM May The Fourth Be With You Sale - Biggest Sale Yet! Don’s Paperback Book Exchange, 1013 San Mateo Blvd. SE Spring has sprung and that means it’s time to have an event, folks! Let’s do a sale - a really big sale! All books and DVDs 50% off - All comics 25% off - All kids get free books too! This sale will include green label comics, CGC comics, and dollar comics
Sat 11 AM – 5 PM Mother's Day Market ABQ Food Park,6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Get ahead of the game and celebrate Mother's Day in style! Before the big day arrives, join us for a delightful pre-celebration where you can grab something special for Mom, Grandma, or that extraordinary woman in your life. Dive into a world of local craftsmanship, delicious food, live music, and outdoor fun at our enchanting outdoor venue. *Browse through the diverse offerings of local artisans *Treat yourself to a mouthwatering delight from our food trucks *Enjoy live music performed by talented local musician Joseph Velasquez *Bring the family to enjoy the festivities with some outdoor games and activities
Sat 11 AM – 7 PM Turkish Festival Raindrop Foundation, 7901 Mountain Rd. NE Festival will feature exquisite samples of Turkish- Mediterranean Cuisine (Doner Gyro Kebab, Baklava, Turkish Coffee and more), cultural exhibits, folk dances, children's area, arts & crafts and more! You do not want to miss this family event that everyone will find something to enjoy! Admission is FREE and the event is open to the public
Sat 11 AM – 10 PM Star Wars Day Celebration Slice and Dice Pizzeria, 2225 Wyoming Blvd. NE From 1-2 pm, stormtroopers from NM's 501st Legion will be available for photos. Throughout the day, we will have teach-and-play for Star Wars miniatures games (Legion and Shatterpoint), as well as the hottest game in the galaxy: Star Wars: The Card Game. Come dressed in your favorite Star Wars fit or gear for a free churro!
Sat 12 PM Free Comic Book Day Age of Comics, 3700 Osuna Rd. NE, Ste 513 We are excited to announce Andy Kuhn and Mark Fenton will be signing in store!

I'm going to be 34 AMAB this year and for two thirds of my life I have suffered with depression and anxiety anger issues self-loathing hatred self-harm self mutilation and thank goodness only one planned suicide. I've already told my wife that I think I need help I have gender dysphoria. It's been a year since then and she ignores it mostly. It's only explanation for how I feel I have explored my feelings and myself and hidden parts myself from others to fit in. The reason why I think this for starters when I was younger I couldn't really make guy friends just couldn't I got made fun of a lot. I didn't play sports I didn't play tag with them I didn't do any of that I did have friends who were girls and I played with them my favorite game was house I always got made the dad of course. I loved all the princess movies! While I was about that age I had gotten a Ken GI Joe Barbie loved it to death but I got made fun of cuz it was a Barbie and because of that I quit playing with it so instead I started getting action figures more socially acceptable…at this point in time I had no idea that anything was wrong with me just that I like what I liked and I didn't like people making fun of me so I did whatever I could so they wouldn't. I changed what I wore I would wear whitey tighties until I found out that guys wore boxers. At night I used to have a giant T-shirt that I would wear as a nightgown. I changed that to shorts and a shirt whenever I started staying over at friend's houses. And in the summer not once what I ever take off my shirt to go swim. Instead of just being friends with girls I started trying to be friends with the guys as well be friends with everybody it would the okay. About nine whatever my parents were starting to get their divorce and everything like that I had found out what some real differences between boys and girls were as far as genitalia and puberty and I started wondering about myself about why do I have a penis I should have vagina. I fought with that concept a lot for the next year and at 10 One day while I was feeling down about everything and mad and upset confused bullied by an older brother I actually had my first incident with self-mutilation. I tried to cut off my penis with a pair of scissors. Once I felt the pain and saw the blood I got squeamish and panicing. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what I was trying to do. That I hid that I doctored myself up and never told the soul what I did I still have a small scar on my penis. Next year I didn't really do anything besides keep to myself. At this point I knew something was wrong with me but I had no idea what and it just sat there in the back of my head nagging. I then discovered masturbation and pornography. as far as the masturbation it started with just regular whatever you know then I started messing around and realized I liked other things as well I liked playing with my butt. Didn't really realize that was anything weird. Then The pornography we had gotten all up internet and that was curious so I went looking the found I was extremely attracted to the women but when I masturbated to them and the things they were doing I wasn't just imagining myself as the guy I was imagining myself as the girls as well. Also at this time I was coming into 6th grade puberty hit started and I started noticing changes to my body that I really didn't like I hate hair and I would shave myself anywhere it popped up and I did that for a while I also started overeating and getting fat I was just unhappy with myself and food made me feel better. As far as the hair goes I soon realized I couldn't hide the hair on my arms being shaved off anymore and I stopped. But I also started growing out my hair. As far as friends go My best friend before my guy friend was was a girl and then J came along and he became my best friend he wasn't a jock wasn't a jerk he didn't make fun of me for things I liked. So I finally made a guy friend. I had joined band I love music and I wanted to play the flute I just liked how it looked and might felt in my hands and mom actually let me get the flute and then I go to school with it and I got make fun of cuz it's girls instrument and I pushed through kept on trying to learn kept on trying to learn kept on getting bullied about it and finally I gave in and I asked to switch to a different instrument band director at the time gave me a baritone he said it would fit me better and it's more masculine you won't get made fun of so sure I did it. I didn't like it but I did it. Also about this time I moved in with my dad and shortly after I moved into my dad's house My brother's girlfriend moved into the house as well. Me still feeling the way I felt about myself and still trying to hide the fact to everyone else when no one was home besides myself I would sneak into my brother's room and I would try on her clothing and it made me feel pretty. So the year moved on I kept growing hairier voice deeper angry so very angry all the time because of that I couldn't really make good friends I still had C and J but everyone else was acting like they were afraid of me which was fine with me sort of I meant I didn't really have to pretend they could just ignore me and I would ignore them. I started reading the Harry Potter books then and discovered hagrid. He is a big burly hairy man that everyone's afraid of but he has a sweet gentle kind and sensitive heart and I related to him. So I chose him as a role model My role models at the time or big scruffing men yes but they were assholes. So with that I started feeling better about myself a little bit. By the end of my 7th grade a year continuing with all my previous habits I eventually actually got a girlfriend. And at 13 I lost my virginity too her. Everything was good for a while except for the depression and anxiety. I still snuck around trying on girl clothes every now and then having anal masturbation which by then I knew was completely out of the ordinary and I was thinking maybe I'm just bisexual. And from that point up until I think it was my junior year everything remained the same. Still felt the same way I had always felt there's something was wrong or something was missing still hated my body and still depress anxious confused angry everything My junior year came time for prom I think I remember right I had long luscious dark curly hair and not like little curls ringlets big rings loved it felt amazing having it and my mom and step dad said they would give me $100 if I would just please cut my hair and they kept on and kept on and kept on and kept on and kept on finally I went to the beauty shop and I had about 8 in cut off and it was now at my shoulders. And they didn't give me the money they weren't happy with for how I got my haircut they wanted it all done. That year I broke up with my girlfriend at the time because she had decided she wanted cheat on me for the third time in a row. My world had seemed like it was falling apart at the seams. I tried everything to put it back together even tried joining the football team but whenever it got into the locker room and then to the weight room I was so uncomfortable around all the guys with their shirts off and everything that after that first deal I went to I never went back. This is when I pierced my tongue and penis the first time idk I guess the younger I thought was flattering and penis was just because it was there. Always angry always depressed always anxious always stressed feeling lonely but I trucked on. Then it was time for senior pictures mom asked me again please cut my hair I was so down and depressed hiding it all the time that I said yeah sure and I went to the beauty salon and I asked for the gayest flamboyant hairstylist to cut my hair. Little bit of resistance lol and he cut it making comments the entire time about how such a shame to cut my hair when it was this nice…before I had left high school I had already found an apartment applied for jobs and actually got hired on bar s. We're actually met two friends who one was transgender and the other was a lesbian. At first year in college I found a new girlfriend and that lasted for about a month and after we had sex the first time I decided I would try just being gay. I had had a friend who was gay when we hung out one night got drunk watching the chick flick started making out did the deed me on bottom. And yes it felt good but I didn't like that I was getting that from a man. After doing a lot of soul searching still didn't fit. I still felt off still felt uncomfortable in my own skin. But at least then I knew I was only attracted to females. And the guy ghosted me after I told him that couldn't happen again. Anyway I'm past still just did the same thing I'll have been doing got invited to play so I went with my cousin and she didn't tell me She was trying to set me up with one of our old childhood friends. So we started dating She moved in we were dating for a year while I was in college doing all that while working and everything at the end of that year I proposed to her a month and a half later she finds out she's pregnant and while I'm excited nervous and scared about being a good parent to this baby She tells me and this is a completely off-topic conversation to have elsewhere in another time that she cheated on me and the baby wasn't mine still dealing with all that now. Anyway drop out of college move back to backwoods hick town and do a crappy little house for the winter we're snow blowed into the kitchen very down and depressed the entire time got a job working for a prison. Started hanging out with my brother who's won the ones that always bullied me. Found a better house. Still depressed lonely anxiety written still protaking in my secret little quirks whenever I wanted to. And where it go bad. I felt lonely depression anxiety anger at myself angry at the world for giving me what I had been given angry I wasn't the person I wanted to be so I bought a gun I planned it all out. Well I was going to do it where I was going to put the letter how I was going to do it. I tried to do the plan a couple times I'd write out the letter then I would burn it go to bed. One night I had gotten drunk decided it was the night had everything ready I got a little sentimental I wanted to tell my mom that I loved her One last time I know I couldn't call her so I texted her surprisingly she answered She asked me if I had been drinking I had said yes She told me that she loves me and everything was going to be okay you actually needed to go to bed She would see me in the morning. So I did I burnt the letter again took the bullets out of the gun and put it up went to bed saw my mom the next morning that I took the gun to the pawn shop and got rid of it. So I continued my existence living the same way I had been except for one thing I have discovered transgender pornography and I started imagining myself as them…I then met the love of my life. And then I pushed everything aside all those feelings I just hid back into the far reaches of my brain. She was all consuming She was the only thing ever thought about got married and we started having our problems. First her grandfather died then the job that I thought that I got turned out to be not as good as it should be couldn't afford to live where we were gave back the car and moved into her grandmother's house then my grandfather passed away and we were trying to move into our new house that she had inherited that we had been working on and then we hit a bankruptcy. you know that was in the first year and a half. We then started trying to get pregnant we hadn't been careful before but we were actively trying then. I got my stuff checked out thinking you know maybe it's my stuff my sperm wasn't any good I'm going to maybe I was sterile and that was part of the reason for all my weight gain and feeling like a woman just confusion anxiety and depression all over again over that. And then when my stuff came back okay. We went for fertility for her and in this time my feelings were starting to come back a little of the who am I. I re pierced My ears and that made me feel good All cool I was fine. did I saw a girl with a cute septum piercing so I pierced mine. And then my eyebrow. All of them making me feel prettier every single step of the way. During all that She finally got pregnant first try on the pills our beautiful daughter came into our world I got to hold her and when I held her I didn't care Mommy Daddy whatever I love that child with all my heart and I would be whatever I had to be for that little girl. It didn't matter. And then I got jealous which was stupid I had made it for she could stay home with our daughter and take care of her and be a good mommy for for her and I wanted to be good for her as well I work my ass off I work all day and that come home and I will cook and clean and try to do everything I possibly could to be the best dad ever but I was mad at myself because I really wanted to be doing what she was doing and then when it came to the weekends I was so burnt out from trying to be super dad that I couldn't even manage to be a regular dad I couldn't wake up on my alarms to help feed I became distant and closed off and I am so sorry about that. About then I the pierced my nipples and bellybutton. I worked on myself this is when I started trying on her clothes and then put myself in check I couldn't lose a little family I had just because of some bullshit in the back of my head. I fought tooth and nail trying to keep it together push back the depression pushed back to the anxiety tank on everything I can then she got postpartum and I'm trying to be there for her shoving everything of myself back not letting myself feel it then I got a medication because I couldn't do it anymore. And then she got on her pills off pills on pills off pills on pills off she's a bit bad about taking her medicine anyway then she have the thoughts of suicide and that sobered me up a lot a controlled depression and self-medicating with caffeine and nicotine for the anxiety. At that point I had been doing a little research and I was thinking gender dysphoria was my problem and I gave myself a describer to help me I called myself a lesbian tomboy with extra parts so I can handle being unhappy with myself as long as I could make my family happy I could not even do that though I screwed that up I know she doesn't like the house we are living in we have no money to make it the house we want and no time to do it if we did. The depression anxiety started back up I felt the strong urge and desire to tell her everything I wanted to help I need help I'm not saying I want to transition but I'm not saying I don't I don't know. Things I do know I love my wonderful beautiful amazing wife and our gorgeous baby girl and I want to have more kids with her I just trust her I love her I've never felt the way I feel about her. I was completely terrified shitless to tell her I was afraid I was going to lose her forever and I still might…this was the most absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life was to confess this solitary secret of my feelings. I did it out of love I didn't want to betray her and anyway if that's how she sees it I just wanted her to know that I love her and I love our daughter. I felt in my heart with this would make us stronger and I really hope it does. It's a lot a lot to process. Sorry this is so long just wanted to tell my story... P.S. I'm still married and she is completely against me and won't even talk about it with me. Needed to vent I guess...

Chapter CXCVII
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Room 37.
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"Do it." The weedy man commanded.
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"I don't want to." The other said as he held a vial of discolored liquid.
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Another man marched up to him and smacked him over the head before barking at him.
"Down it, meat, or we'll force it down!"
​
The man whined pitifully, gulped as he eyed the mixture within the vial, and then chugged it in one go. The others seated around watched him for a moment. He hacked and coughed but managed to keep it down. They all waited in the dark and run-down room, the only sounds being the boiling of jury-rigged alchemy equipment made from half rusted pipes and whatever else they could scrounge together for their little operation.
​
"Well? Anythin'?" Rickie asked as he and the others kept watching.
​
The sampler made to speak before his body shuddered. His face turned a sickly color and he fell down to the nearest bucket and expelled the contents into the rusty soiled thing. Rickie groaned and kicked a nearby rusty bedframe in frustration. Why wasn't anything working, he thought with irritation and worry.
​
Barnaby gave this racket to him and his boys to run after the last boss went tide up. Probably from drinking his own supply, Rickie thought. Which just meant seagull shit. They still had to pay up to the boss or risk their operation getting caught and them all snagged by the guards. The only difference between before and now was that they hauled up to Barnaby instead of Lord Myrle. He and his boys didn't know the details, just that the elf had run afoul of something, or someone, that wasn't so easy to roll-over and now the Thieves Guild was cast to the depths.
​
"Or where ever folk dispose of shite 'round here." Rickie muttered as he went over to his twitchy alchemist and snatched the next potion from his hands.
​
The sampler went wide-eyed and fought weakly as Rickie's meatier boys held him still and made a cut along his hand that wept crimson. The poor dredge of society whined and pleaded before the potion, which was a foamy off-red color, was forced down his gullet. Half of it was choked up but enough went down for them to get what they needed to.
​
Then they waited. But just like before, the bum that they nabbed to be their little taste tester soon threw up the potion, a quick glance at his hand confirmed that the health potion did jack all. Again. Rickie cursed in frustration once again. A simple health potion was the first thing you're taught in alchemy! It was so simple that a child could do it! Even the ingredients weren't that hard to acquire either!
​
Yet even simple potions were little better than sewage. Potions weren't exactly the best tasting things, but when done right they shouldn't be THAT bad and their effects should still work. But nothing was! They tasted like piss and did fuck all save for making the drinker sicker than a sloshed sailor!
​
Maybe it was their alcohol, Rickie thought. It wasn't exactly "pure", but even then it should've done SOMETHING! It shouldn't be failing this badly! He growled and got in the face of their twitchy alchemist.
"Why isn't it workin'?!"
​
The alchemist stumbled and jumbled through his words that Rickie had to smack him just to get a straight answer from him.
"I don't know! I followed everything in the books!"
​
"Well apparently not because none of it is workin'! Find out why or we'll find someone who can!" Rickie threatened before leaving the alchemy lab to check in on his other racket.
​
He marched up a floor, his steps causing the wooden steps to creak and groan. He thought being given not just one but TWO rackets would mean he didn't have to slum it in some worthless crumbling ruin like before. But about the only difference was who he worked for and the fact it didn't smell like the sea and fish guts anymore.
​
Oh, and the guards carried some kind of "thunderstick" he heard Barnaby call 'em. Seven hells, he could still hear the sounds they made the other day as clear as sunshine! Thunderstick was right, and the guards ALL carried them! He didn't exactly like keeping his head down. Especially as he was the boss of their little operation now, even if they kicked up to Barnaby. But even he wasn't dumb enough to risk all those things being pointed his way.
​
He stomped over to a door and pushed it open. A voice shouted out as he did so.
"THUNDER!!!"
​
Rickie immediately fell to the splintered floor to avoid whatever was thrown at him. Except the only thing he could hear was the snickering laughter of his scratchers. They were called such because of their constant scratching away as they made counterfeit spell scrolls. He cracked his eyes open and glared at the group of four that laughed like gulls on the docks!
​
He got up and marched to the head of the lot and grabbed him by his grimy robes.
"You think that was funny?!"
​
"Yeah, I do!" The boy said with a manic grin as he continued to chuckle.
​
Rickie snarled and pushed the boy back into his chair. If he made an example of him then he'd have to make an example out of every one of them. Scratchers were madder than haberdashers. Something about inking and enchanting the scrolls drove them bonkers. Potion chemists were about the same, but working with potentially volatile potions made sense. All these bunch of jackdaws did was scribbling on scrolls!
​
"Have you made anythin' at least?!" Rickie hissed.
​
"Yeah. We made scrolls." One of the other scratchers commented and held up a piece of parchment with a colorful set of paints on it.
​
"And?" Rickie asked.
​
The scratcher held the scroll out towards the wall and shouted out the name of the spell.
"LIGHT!"
​
Nothing.
​
"I though you said you made scrolls?!" Rickie asked heatedly.
​
"We did. They just aren't 'magic' scrolls." The lead scratcher said that caused them all to begin cackling like gulls once more.
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Rickie groaned and rubbed his face.
"Well why not?!"
​
"Because we can't." One of the scratchers stated as if it was obvious.
​
"And why, pray tell, can't you?"
​
"Don't know." The lead scratcher said with a shrug as if it was supposed to be obvious.
​
"Well then tell me what you DO know!" Rickie growled.
​
"We can't make magic scrolls. All we can make are pretty pieces of paper." The lead scratcher stated.
​
The difference between a real magic scroll and an "imitation" was down to the fact that a fake scroll lasted only long enough to fool a potential buyer. So a spell of light would last a few minutes before dissipating rather than about an hour like a normal scroll. Both were only one-offs. But a decent forgery could net them plenty of coin long enough for them to relocate before the guard came down on them.
​
IF they could make them that is, Rickie thought with mounting frustration. Neither racket wasn't without its risks, but the payoff should've been worth it. But at this rate it wasn't going to amount to anything!
​
"Well figure out WHY and get back to work!" Rickie yelled before departing.
​
"WILL DO CAPTAIN!" The lead scratcher called out with a chorus of laughter from the others.
​
He made his way to his own room. Which was about the only room that didn't look rundown. He crashed down on the moldy mattress with a groan. He thought being the boss was supposed to make his life easier. Instead it looked like all it did was make his neck the first on the block when things got bad.
​
Which is what it looked to be becoming, he thought. The potions weren't being mixed right for some reason and the scrolls weren't holding an enchantment either. The latter he couldn't do much other than hope and pray to whatever being there was that looked out for him, if there even was one, that those mad loons could figure it out before Barnaby's men came to collect what he didn't have.
​
The former he could at least assist with. But the idea of potentially ending up like his predecessor wasn't an appealing one, Rickie thought. Especially not long after the guards stormed up the mountain with those thundersticks. He didn't want to know what was up there that drove the last man briny or what needed so many guards with thundersticks for.
​
But it was either be productive and MAYBE have a possible excuse for Barnaby, or sit here and hope that his boys could figure something out. He groaned and got back up knowing that at least if he did what he could he MIGHT be able to save his neck for a little longer.
​
He stomped down the steps and left the crumbling brick building and out into the cold air of their new "home". It was just as busy as the markets back home, but there was an air of tension and dread in the air that wasn't felt back in Daele until the siege started. But it was different somehow. Like it was almost suffocating. A feeling like every breath he took was potentially going to be his last.
​
Which was something he wasn't entirely unaccustomed to. He didn't exactly grow up in the best of areas back in Daele. But you expected it in that life. Here though? It was like something hung over their heads like the headman's axe. The only ones that didn't seem affected by whatever foulness was in the air were the guards in green. They strolled around with a sense of boredom that he couldn't fathom why. Especially after that business not long ago!
​
He turned his gaze up at the mountain. Even this far away felt FAR too close. Something about it made his skin crawl and his hair stand straight. Like the mountain was gazing back at him. He shook his head. That kind of thinking is how the last man got chummed, he thought.
​
But he couldn't help but notice his pace slowed as he continued towards the mountain. Like his own body wanted to go anywhere but there. He found himself at the edge of the area where the goblins controlled. If he continued he'd need to keep his head down even more if he didn't want to end up swinging from a pole.
​
The more he thought about it, the more he was preferring the idea of watching over the rackets. So he turned on his heel and headed back with a quickened pace. The further he went from that looming hunk of rock the better he felt. As he opened the door to their hideout, he cast a one last glance at the dark mountain.
​
Maybe that loon wasn't so mad after all, Rickie thought as he went inside.
​
-----
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Barnaby's Brothel/Casino
​
"So what is this worth?" Barnaby asked the little girl that say on his knee as he pointed towards the sets of green bills arrayed along his desk.
​
"That's a five dollar bill. It's worth five one dollars." She said simply.
​
"But what is worth five dollars? And what is worth one dollar?" He asked.
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The little girl thought to herself, scrunching up her face as she did.
"You can buy a chocolate bar for a dollar. But you can buy a bag of candy for five!"
​
"Can you now?" Barnaby asked with measured interest.
​
The kids that "Lord" Myrle had enslaved had come to Barnaby and took him up on his offer of showing them how the world truly worked. In exchange though, he wanted to know what they did about this world. Mainly how the money worked. He had started taking the local currency, but it wasn't an exact rate as he couldn't figure out what was worth how much.
​
Did a night with a pretty lady amount to five of these dollars? Or was it worth more? So far he's hadn't needed to answer that question as it seemed like the locals weren't interested in his business. So he's been forced to accept what pitiful coinage from the other refugees. But with an influx of new blood he wanted to know the answer to that for when they came looking for comfort or a game of chance.
​
The little girl's answer wasn't entirely helpful. But it wasn't as worthless as he would've initially thought either. Sweets weren't usually available to the common folk. So it was rather pricy to get them. But from the way the girl said it that wasn't the case in this world.
​
"So five is better?" Barnaby asked.
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"Yup! But a hundred is the best!" She said cheerfully.
​
Barnaby looked at the assorted bills he's gathered so far. The highest he had was a what she called a fifty. It wasn't much. But at least she gave him a good idea of what to rate his services for. If a hundred was the highest currency available then he'd have to adjust to make things a bit.
​
If he wanted to assimilate into this world it was paramount that he knew how the currency worked. Especially as it seemed like the coins from Daele wouldn't last long if what he's learned about the country he was in from the kids was somewhat accurate. It was massive and had access to goods he's never even heard of! Things that only a noble or even royalty could afford was fairly affordable to the common folk. Things that even seemed magical were treated as disposable commodities.
​
Communicating over vast distances was easy. Travelling was also easy. Getting food or healing was even easier. Back in Daele he would've had to resort to seeing a back alley sawbones to fix anything. But there were several pills here that he could get for dirt cheap that would do the trick!
​
From the sounds of it he could live better than any king or even emperor with little effort! All he had to do now was make sure to do things carefully and he could live a long life with little trouble or worry! If he could figure out how that is.
​
He turned his attention from the little girl and towards her brother over in the corner as one of his goons played with him.
"Alright boy. Arms up."
​
The boy raised his fists feebly. His goon knocked them to the side with ease.
"No! Like this!"
​
His goon showed him how and he tried to mimic it as best he could.
"There we go!"
​
He held up a hand.
"Now hit me."
​
"What?"
​
"You deaf boy?! I said hit me!" The goon ordered.
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The boy threw a punch towards the open hand.
"I'm sorry? I didn't feel nothin'. Try again boy!"
​
The boy threw a punch again, this time with obviously more force. But the goon didn't look impressed.
"Birds shite harder than that!"
​
Barnaby watched as the process continued. The boy would hit and the goon would push him on. Rinse repeat. At least he was being taught something useful, Barnaby thought as he returned his attention to his lesson on currency when the door opened and his other henchman entered.
"Some guards are here!"
​
The other goon turned his head, and moved his hand out of the way. Allowing the boy to send his small fist into his cheek. The boy yelped and began to tear up at the slip. He started warbling apologies. The goon turned back around and gave him a pat on the head with a laugh.
"That's how you do it boy!"
​
"What?" He asked tearfully.
​
"When your opponent has his back turned, you take the chance to shiv him good and proper!" The goon said with a cruel smile.
​
"But my pa said you should fight with honor." The boy said uncertainly.
​
"Piss on honor! Did honor do him any good?" The goon asked.
​
The boy started to tear up again, but shook his head. The goon patted him on the head again with a surprisingly kind smile.
"Don't worry my son. Ol' Uncle Jerry is gonna teach you right and proper he will!"
​
"Touchin'. What's this about guards?" Barnaby said as he turned his attention from the sweet display.
​
"A couple o' them are downstairs!" The other goon repeated.
​
Barnaby sighed and lifted the girl up and down off his knee before jumping down from his seat as well.
"Stay here with Jerry you two. Tom, come along."
​
The two kids laughed. Barnaby wasn't sure what was so funny but they laughed whenever he said the names of his two goons. Whatever, he had business to attend to downstairs, Barnaby thought as Tom followed after the dwarf. His merchandise poked their heads out their rooms as Barnaby made his way past. They didn't linger though as they retreated back into their rooms to prepare themselves for Barnaby to showcase them to potential clients.
​
When Barnaby reached the bottom he spotted two guards dressed in the green uniforms of the recent arrivals. He wasn't sure how high or low they were in the chain of command. But he'd bet they were simple grunts by their looks and attitudes. He put on his business smile and marched towards them.
"Welcome! How can I provide fer you today?!"
​
One of them shuffled nervously and didn't make eye contact with Barnaby. His friend smiled a cocky smile and seemed to speak for the both of them.
"We heard you might have some entertainment."
​
"Depends. What are you lookin' fer?" Barnaby asked, accustomed to folk not usually asking straight out what they wanted.
​
"We're lookin' for some 'haughty wenches'!" The more brash of the two said in a strange accent and a wink.
​
Haughty wenches, Barnaby thought for a moment as he tried to decipher what it was exactly he was being asked for.
"Uhm, o' course! Follow me!"
​
"Sweet!" The grunt cheered and dragged his far more nervous friend along as they followed after Barnaby and his goon.
​
He led them past the gambling den where the more brash one called out.
"You guys have gamblin' too?!"
​
"We do! You can have a go when you want!" Barnaby said with enthusiasm.
​
"Awesome! Where's the blackjack table?" The brash grunt asked and looked around at the room.
​
Barnaby looked to his goon with a cocked brow and mouthed the word at him. His goon just shrugged. Barnaby turned back towards the two grunts.
"We're new ta the area. We're still settin' some things up."
​
"Oh. Do you at least have some slots or roulette?"
​
"Unfortunately, our gamblin' is a bit underdeveloped at tha moment." Barnaby apologized but made a note to find out more about the games of this world.
​
"So what do you have?"
​
"We have Knuckle Bones and Devil's Hand." Barnaby said.
​
"What's that?"
​
"Knuckle Bones is a dice game. You and yer opponent make a bet o' how many dice will end up as what, then you roll. The winner is the one with the closer number o' dice in his favor. Devil's Hand is a simple card game, you play and try and hit the highest number without goin' over."
​
The brash grunt smacked himself in the head.
"Oh right! I forgot! Sure we'll play a game of 'Devil's Hand' when we're done huh Ken?!"
​
"Uhm, sure Matt." His friend said with a bit more enthusiasm.
​
Ooookay, Barnaby thought as the grunt talked and acted in a strange manner. He shook his head and gave his goon a look that said if they acted too weird customer or no they'll be bounced out. He led them past the gaming rooms and up towards the brothel. He made sure to speak idly and loud enough so that his girls knew to get ready.
​
He stood before the set of doors and gestured to the first door.
"May I tempt you with an elven beauty from the forests?"
​
As he said this an elven woman with golden hair opened the door and sauntered out seductively with nothing but a thin green veil covering that did nothing for the imagination. She was also covered in golden tattoos that ran from her face down to her toes. The brash grunt whistled and elbowed his friend.
"Best Ren Fair ever!"
​
"If she doesn't enthrall you, maybe a dance with a treasure from faraway lands?" Barnaby asked and the second girl stepped out from her room.
​
A human woman with ebony skin came out dressed in silver belly dancer attire. She sashayed over and stroked the chest of the nervous grunt before sauntering away. His friend laughed and slapped him on the back as Barnaby motioned to the third door.
"If they're a bit too 'tame' fer you. Then perhaps somethin' a wee bit, excitin'?"
​
Out came a gnomish woman. Her green eyes sparkled and shined behind her large glasses that sat on her perky face. Her own dress was far more modest than the other two, she wore a simple beige dress, but it hugged her figure enough to show the two grunts what she had to offer.
​
The brash grunt elbowed his friend.
"Go for her! My cousin had a dwarf girlfriend and he said she was a FREAK!"
​
"While this isn't all that I offer, it is all I have available at the moment. Unless you want ta play a game or two while mah other girls become available?"
​
"And risk gettin' sloppy seconds?! No thanks! We're good!" The brash grunt said.
​
He marched over to the elven lady and slapped her ass, eliciting a playful moan and giggle from her. He then turned towards Barnaby and pulled out a wad of bills.
"Do ye accept ye olde American?"
​
"Uhm, sure?" Barnaby said, not quite sure if something was wrong in the grunt's head but not willing to make a fuss about it until AFTER he paid. If he got too weird with his merchandise then he'll have him thrown out head first.
​
"Sweet! I'll take the elf girl! Ken will take the dwarf won't ya Ken!" The brash grunt said and tossed the wad of bills towards Barnaby as he gave his friend a cheeky grin.
​
Barnaby caught it and undid the stretchy band around it and did a quick count of how much there was. It was alot if his brief, and not entirely helpful, lesson with the little girl was true. He counted several twenties and fifties among the wad. He'd have to count it with the girl to make sure exactly how much it was, but from the look on the grunt's face it seemed like a typical price for a night with a girl.
​
If it wasn't? Then his girls can keep them occupied long enough for him to make sure and come back to get the rest, Barnaby thought as the brash grunt picked up the elf bridal style and retreated into the room. The nervous grunt shuffled and blushed and didn't make any effort to move from his spot. Barnaby turned towards the gnomish woman and jerked his head towards him. She nodded and made her way over to him.
"Come on handsome. I'll be gentle."
​
The nervous grunt mumbled something but followed after her into the room. Barnaby dismissed the third girl back into her room to wait for other customers and departed for his office. He had some more currency to count with.
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Hey all, It’s that time of the year to turn from pre-draft positional rankings to post-draft dynasty rookie rankings! If you’re new to my content, I’ve been posting positional rankings and evals for the past several months and my rankings are scattered between posting on here and on a website I’m a contributor for. However, you can find all my rankings and evals in my draft guide and Positional Rankings below. Also, I included my 2023 post-draft dynasty rookie rankings from last year as well for reference: Draft Guide/Word Document Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z_lZ_eUMcdywnUwiyOejaUnkDlf3gd6R2SiefqEDLnY/edit#heading=h.nd5mdf75x2gn
Excel Sheet/Positional Rankings+Big Board Link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wgwX2EgItUZ9Vn-eY1qqIS2Uf4M1H9zkFQsFKqrQdZk/edit#gid=0
2023 Post-Draft Dynasty Rookie Rankings: https://www.reddit.com/DynastyFF/comments/134imoo/backseat_scouts_2023_postdraft_dynasty_rookie/
Now a couple of notes before getting started: - I rank based on how I would have them in my league which is a 1QB PPR league. I don’t do separate rankings for 2QB which I know a lot of people do but I’ve never been in one so I think it would be disingenuous to do that type of ranking since I am guessing at the value of QB without experiencing how others view it firsthand in a draft.

• These rankings will be very different from my prospect rankings as I account for draft capital, team fit, and opportunity.
  
• I like to look at players in the short-term and long-term perspectives as I think that helps people the most as some people may need someone able to contribute now while others are in long rebuilds and are more willing to wait for situations to improve.
  
• This was such a deep offensive draft that I’ll be going through my top 70 players. I have more thorough write ups for the first 24 guys but after that I just stuck to a few bullet points so this wouldn’t take a full week to read through.
  

So, let’s get to it!
Tier 1 (Don’t Overthink it):
1. Marvin Harrison Jr., WR, Ohio State Age: 21 years, 8 months Height: 6’3”; Weight: 209 pounds Drafted by: Arizona Cardinals 4th overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR1 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR1 I was going to keep this as a once sentence section but I’ve seen a few posts wanting to discuss MHJ vs Nabers so I’ll expand my thoughts a bit. First taking a look at the talent, MHJ was most people’s #1 receiver in this class and was many of people’s top receiver prospects in the last decade. He’s a fantastic route runner that can win multiple ways. His only marks that held me back from considering up there as the top prospect in the past decade is potentially lacking elite speed and his technique and consistency when attacking the ball in the air. However, these are both well above average and won’t hinder him.
From a situations standpoint, you can’t really ask for a better one for a top 5 pick. He already has an established, solid QB in Kyler Murray. He has a coaching staff that showed they are capable of running an NFL offense (Sorry Kingsbury). He was always going to be the top receiver for a team but he is walking into a situation where the Cardinals lost their top 2 receivers from a target perspective in Marquise Brown and Rondale Moore and also lost Zach Ertz. They also didn’t add another receiver until round 5. So, the team has 206 vacated targets that can easily have the majority go in his direction. Short-term, I think he can instantly become a WR1 in fantasy and long-term I don’t see much changing. He was the 1.01 basically the moment he entered college and still is today.
2. Malik Nabers, WR, LSU Age: 21 years, 8 months Height: 6’0”; Weight: 200 pounds Drafted by: New York Giants 5th overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR2 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR2 I think a fair number of people are looking at Nabers landing in New York and are overly concerned about it as well. Again, this is why this tier has its name. As a player, Nabers is electric as a route runner and with the ball in his hands. He has everything it takes to be an elite man beater in the NFL and always force himself open. There really aren’t a lot of holes in his game other than not having the size to win fades in the end zone and the fact that he’s likely not going to be a consistent vertical threat. However, he will feast in the NFL and in PPR leagues. I know he isn’t very far into his career, but I can see him being viewed similarly as Garrett Wilson with similar play styles and ability to win you PPR matchups.
Outside of getting top 5 draft capital, his draft spot and situation are nothing to be overly concerned about. The Giants are in the midst of some heavy turnover, losing Saquon Barkley and Darren Waller potentially retiring. When you throw in the loss of role players like Parris Campbell, Matt Breida, and Sterling Shepard, you have at least 204 targets vacated if Waller retires. The reason I say at least is since the Giants basically gave up throwing some games after Daniel Jones got hurt. So, with the uptick in passing and the high number of vacated targets even if Waller plays another year, you have a clear path for Nabers to be a WR1.
Short-term, I could see Nabers being an immediate WR1 in scoring just from a necessity standpoint for the Giants. Long-term, I think he has all the potential to be viewed as a top 5 WR and likely will have this view reflected by the public/KeepTradeCut with the big market bump and extra exposure he’ll get. We can say how the Giants haven’t had a fantasy relevant WR since Odell, but trends/streaks are made to be broken.
3. Rome Odunze, WR, Washington Age: 21 years, 11 months Height: 6’3”; Weight: 212 pounds Drafted by: Chicago Bears 9th overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR3 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR3
Now this is a situation I can understand people being concerned about. Rome Odunze entered the draft as most people’s WR3 at worst and up there with MHJ and Odunze as prospects. He’s a very balanced receiver with great hands, ability to adjust to balls, and very good athleticism. His weaknesses in his release and route running are more of nitpicks and areas holding him back from being a top tier WR in the past decade. Odunze also dominated last year showing he could put up numbers during a game regardless of how much competition he had around him.
While he played with two day 2 receivers, he hasn’t played with as much competition as he will in Chicago. For his rookie year, he’ll be competing to two top tier WRs in DJ Moore and Keenan Allen and will also have ancillary players like Kmet, Everett, and Swift competing for targets. The Bears also don’t have a ton of vacated targets with Darnell Mooney being the only notable departure opening up just 61 targets for Odunze, Allen, Kmet, Everett, and Swift. The Bears might pass more, but regardless of how great Caleb Williams is, it’s always hard on a rookie QB throwing so much and being capable of supporting so many fantasy relevant players.
With it being so recent, this feels like JSN 2, Electric Boogaloo. However, just like JSN, I’m going to trust the talent and my eval. Short-term, I don’t think you will be able to count on him unless he builds chemistry with Williams during rookie minicamp which is very possible and something we saw with Stroud and Dell last year. Long-term, there is a good chance Keenan Allen is gone next year and Odunze has all the skill to overtake DJ Moore as Chicago’s WR1 (and this is coming from a big DJ Moore fan). If you feel you dodged a bullet with JSN last year and the idea of sitting on a talent like this scares you, I’d pass on him. However, I think there is a big drop in talent after Odunze and it would be wise to not pass him up.
Tier 2 (Team Has a Plan for a Heavy Role):
4. Xavier Worthy, WR, Texas Age: 21 years, 0 months Height: 5’11”; Weight: 165 pounds Drafted by: Kansas City Chiefs 28th overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR10 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR4
Now that we’re past the big 3, it starts to get interesting. The 4 spot in 1QB is likely going to be up for debate but I feel fairly confident going with Xavier Worthy here. I feel I’ve seen a number of people say that everyone should avoid Chiefs rookie receivers since they are always fool’s gold as if we didn’t just see Rashee Rice finish as the WR21 last year. Worthy’s speed likely is part of people trying to sell him as fool’s gold but his speed is legit and shows in YAC and deep opportunities. He also has more polish to his route running than he is given credit for.
Outside of his size, some of my biggest issues with Worthy are his release, contested catch ability, and production as a vertical threat. Like Rice, I didn’t have Worthy as high in my rankings compared to his draft spot due to these issues. Thankfully, he will have Andy Reid as a coach who is probably the best coach at getting his players free releases and schemed open to limit contested catch situations. Also, Worthy will have Mahomes throwing him deep balls instead of Quinn Ewers and for some reason I have a bit more faith in Mahomes connecting more with Worthy down field. Also, the Chiefs have a fair number of vacated targets with 95 from MVS, McKinnon, and Hardman and potentially more if they move on from Moore or Toney who both had 38 each. Plus we also don’t know about the details about the likely Rice suspension and Kelce isn’t getting any younger. So, there will be a lot of opportunities on day 1.
Short-term, I see Worthy overtaking Toney and Moore in their roles and actually be able to convert on the designed looks Reid tried to scheme up for them. This will give him an easier start as he adjusts to the NFL like they did for Rashee Rice last year. For fantasy, I think his production could be a bit frustrating week-to-week for his rookie year but should have a fair floor for PPR. Long-term, I think he will get more involved in deep opportunities and really become a complete asset for the team and for dynasty/fantasy lineups. I have the philosophy to aim for upside in rookie drafts. When you have the opportunity to get a 1st round receiver paired with the most creative offensive mind in football and the best QB in the NFL, you have to take the chance for the unlimited upside.
5. Brian Thomas Jr., WR, LSU Age: 21 years, 6 months Height: 6’3”; Weight: 209 pounds Drafted by: Jacksonville Jaguars 23rd overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR6 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR5 Brian Thomas Jr. Was most people’s WR4 in this class with his combination of speed, fluidity as an athlete, and his ball tracking. His limited route running and long-term production held me back from having him higher but I can’t blame anyone for having him higher with his upside and having the fluidity and quickness to develop as a route runner. At worst, he has the makings for a great deep threat or even a YAC player. Best case scenario, he becomes a more developed route runner and can beat defenses underneath and deep.
The Jaguars clearly are betting on his route running and seem like they expect him to fill in for Ridley’s role with his departure to Tennessee. His departure and Jamal Agnew’s open up 157 vacated targets for this season. Gabe Davis definitely complicates the picture a bit but Gabe Davis has never had a 100+ target season despite being the clear WR2 in Buffalo and I don’t expect him to suddenly go past this mark in Jacksonville. Plus, I feel he is more destined to take over Zay Jones' role in the near future. So, there is a clear opportunity for Brian Thomas Jr. to come in and contribute.
Short-term, it might be a bit of rough sledding as the Jaguars adjust to a new group of receivers with Thomas Jr. and Davis and I’d expect Kirk and Engram to dominate targets early on. However, by the end of the season I could see Thomas Jr. start to heat up once he and Trevor Lawrence develop some chemistry. Long-term, the hope as I mentioned is that he becomes a more developed route runner to take his game to another level. Regardless of the outcome, having a decent path to a WR1 spot for a team with a good, young QB is very appealing for a WR with his type of upside.
6. Ladd McConkey, WR, Georgia Age: 22 years, 5 months Height: 6’0”; Weight: 186 pounds Drafted by: Los Angeles Chargers 34th overall in the 2nd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR7 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR6 Ladd McConkey has been seeing his draft stock rise over the past several months and finally paid off with him being taken 34th overall by the Chargers after the Chargers traded up to go grab him. McConkey stood out to evaluators and the Chargers due to his route running, athleticism in YAC situations, and very reliable hands. Outside of his lower weight, he was basically built to be a productive slot receiver in the NFL and showed some potential to survive outside.
He also walks into a nearly perfect situation with a wasteland at receiver with a whopping 370 targets vacated with the departures of Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Austin Ekeler, Gerald Everett, Alex Erickson, and Jalen Guyton. The reason I said “nearly perfect,” is because of Jim Harbaugh coming in as the coach and likely having more of an emphasis in the run game. Using Harbaugh’s time with the 49ers as a reference, his offenses never finished higher than 29th in passing attempts and never had more than 30.4 attempts/game in a season (which would have been 26th in the NFL tied with the Giants). Now having Herbert could bump up the passing rate, but I think opportunities will be more limited than the 370 vacated targets suggest.
Short-term, I still think McConkey will get a fair cut of those vacated targets when he comes in as the likely WR2 for the team and likely will finish as the WR1 for the team by the end of the year. Plus, Herbert has shown his willingness and ability to hit underneath and timing patterns in college and in the NFL so I can see him hit the ground running. Long-term, I feel it’s hard to not expect the Chargers to draft a WR next year if Quentin Johnston doesn’t take a step forward and with a new regimen. So, he could have a new challenger for the WR1 spot. However, with the chemistry he’ll likely develop with Herbert, I think he will still remain his favorite target.
7. Jonathon Brooks, Texas Age: 22 years, 5 months Height: 6’0”; Weight: 216 pounds Drafted by: Carolina Panthers 46st overall in the 2nd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: RB1 Position Dynasty Ranking: RB1 I wasn’t sure where I would end up with the RBs in this weaker class, but we have our first RB in the rankings with Brooks. I’m not sure how other people had it, but I had Brooks at the top of my pre-draft RB rankings and a sizable gap until my RB2. He has great elusiveness, contact balance, vision, and showed near the end of his season that he could take on a heavy receiving role. In a RB class with a lot of prospects with some glaring holes, he seemingly had very few until he tore his ACL.
The landing spot might sound lukewarm and probably will be this year as the team likely takes things slowly and lets him recover from his ACL. However, next year Miles Sanders will almost certainly get cut and Hubbard is a free agent that could play elsewhere. So, there is a clear path to him being an unchallenged back which is a rarity. The Panthers also understand how pitiful their offense was and went hard to overhaul the talent by attacking the o-line in free agency and skill positions in the draft so the offense could spring to life next year. I have even more confidence in the Panthers rebounding with Dave Canales leading the way who has seen success whenever he’s had his hands on the offense.
Short-term, I see them being cautious to not risk re-injury but he could still provide some use his rookie year and could heat up at the end of the year when he is further from the injury. Long-term, there is a very real chance that he could have a Rachaad White-like season where he is the workhorse back both on the ground and in the air. There is always the risk that he could get competition the following year but with the Panthers still lacking a 2nd round pick for 2025 and likely need to focus on retooling their defense next season, I think they will take their priorities elsewhere. So, we have the potential of having a back on a much improved offense, with a poor defense that will require more passing, and having the traits of a workhorse while being paired with a coach that is willing to have a workhorse, and I think we can justify having him this high.
8. Keon Coleman, WR, Florida State Age: 20 years, 11 months Height: 6’3”; Weight: 213 pounds Drafted by: Buffalo Bills 33rd overall in the 2nd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR9 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR7 Keon Coleman was one of the most divisive receivers this draft cycle. Starting out as a clear first round receiver in that next tier after the big three with Brian Thomas Jr. Then he dropped to where a lot of people didn’t consider him worthy of a 2nd round selection. Turns out the NFL, or at least Buffalo, believes in his talent and took him to lead off the 2nd round. Coleman deserves belief in his skills with potentially the best hands in the draft, great jump ball and ball tracking ability, and better athleticism than his 40 time might indicate. I definitely wish he was a more consistent vertical threat but I could see the Bills developing his release to get there.
Like McConkey with the Chargers, Coleman is entering a relatively empty receiver room after 306 targets were vacated between Stefon Diggs, Gabe Davis, Trent Sherfield, Latavius Murray, and Deonte Harty leaving. The Bills did add Curtis Samuel but he has never had more than 105 targets in a season. Even if we adjust for a possible career high and bump that up to 120 targets, that still opens up 186 targets. Now this mark may not be very clearly available with Joe Brady taking over midseason last year and having more focus on the ground game. Since Brady took over, Allen attempted 33 passes/game in the regular season and playoffs which would have equal to 561 attempts in a full season and would have been about 50 attempts lower than their 2022 total had they finish all of their games and would have finished 21st in the NFL this year (right between the Eagles and Raiders). So there won’t be nearly 200 targets available, but plenty to keep a healthy targets/per game mark and a clear role to fit in with the departure of Gabe Davis.
Short-term, I could see Coleman being frustrating to start at the start of the season as he adjusts to NFL coverage and press. However, as the season goes on and he hopefully adjusts and takes advantage of Kincaid, Shakir, Samuel, Cook, and the run game drawing attention underneath, he should start to get some good production down field. Long-term, I think he can develop chemistry with Josh Allen and could become one of their top red zone weapons and really provide some great upside. With Diggs gone, he has a crazy high ceiling as a fantasy player if he manages to somehow earn the #1 receiver role in the offense and that is something worth taking a chance on with a young stud like Allen. Even if his lower ceiling is a Gabe Davis type of producer, that is still very valuable for most teams and worth taking a chance on as a fallback.
9. Brock Bowers, Georgia Age: 21 years, 4 months Height: 6’3”; Weight: 243 pounds Drafted by: Las Vegas 13th overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: TE1 Position Dynasty Ranking: TE1 A lot of people are probably surprised to see me have Brock Bowers this low but it mostly just comes down to how I value tight ends in fantasy. I feel unless you get a guaranteed game breaker like a Kelce, it’s better to focus your assets elsewhere. Plus, tight end production can be difficult to predict and too easy to miss by reaching for the TE1 and having the TE2 or 3 go much later in the draft and produce at a similar or better level (just look at LaPorta last year). That being said, this is just about as high as I can justify having a TE in a rookie draft since I loveee Bowers. I’ve been a huge fan since day one and love his versatility. He has the hands, route running, and movement skills in space of a receiver. He is also a very solid blocker and can be used all over the field. There really isn’t a lot he can’t do and he absolutely deserved his 1st round draft capital and deserves to be taken in the first round of rookie drafts.
I feel I’ve seen a lot of back and forth on his landing spot and I understand the concerns. The Raiders didn’t really do much to address their QB situations and seem content with rolling with Minshew. Also, they just took a tight end pretty early last year by selecting Michael Mayer in the early 2nd and he also has Davante Adams and Jakobi Meyers to compete with who are both receivers that should see their games age well. They also don’t have a lot of vacated targets from last year with only 68 between Hunter Renfrow and Austin Hooper. So, it’s not a great situation but not many are for tight ends. Where the positives are is with Luke Getsy’s emphasis on 12 personnel/two tight end formations with the 8th highest rate in the NFL last year using them on nearly a quarter of plays. Also, with Bowers versatility, I can easily see him moving to slot receiver on plays with only Tre Tucker challenging Bowers for slot snaps. So, the opportunity is there if you are willing to target a tight end early.
Short-term, I could see Bowers being viewed as a bit of a disappointment only because of his high outlook entering the draft, needing to compete with Adams, Meyers, and Mayer for targets, and the unideal QB situation. However, long-term I see him as a likely top 5 TE especially when they likely get a QB upgrade next year. As I mentioned, I have Bowers lower just because of my philosophy for tight ends but I can definitely see him being reasonably taken at the 4 spot.
10. Caleb Williams, USC Age: 22 years, 5 months Height: 6’1”; Weight: 215 pounds Drafted by: Chicago Bears 1st overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: QB1 Position Dynasty Ranking: QB1 Similar to Bowers, this is a bit lower for Williams than most people probably will have but I have somewhat of a similar stance in 1QB as TE with teams usually able to have strong QB production even if they don’t have a top 3 guy. Last year, I admittedly was even lower on the QBs in part due to the situations they went into and just with this philosophy. However, Stroud’s rookie season made me reflect on this and adjust my approach. So, we have our first QB and though some people will have Jayden Daniels as their QB1, I’m sticking with Caleb Williams. Williams is a top tier prospect with elite arm talent, great accuracy, and playmaking ability to carry a bad offense around him. He also has more rushing upside than he gets credit for with good speed and really fluid movement in space where he can make defenders miss.
As I mentioned, he can carry a bad offense around him, but as I pointed out in Odunze’s section, he won’t need to. It pains me to say it as a Packers fan, but the Bears did exactly what a franchise should do and built an offense to help a rookie QB succeed. It’s crazy that there is a serious case where Odunze could be his third worst receiver this year as he adjusts to the NFL. He also has a good o-line, solid tight end, and capable running backs. With his passing upside and ability to pick up yards on the ground, it’s hard to not see him hit the ground running and show why he was the #1 overall pick.
Williams was the first QB drafted and though it’s not always the case, he should be the first drafted in dynasty rookie drafts and can succeed whether your league scores passing touchdowns as 4 or 6 points. He has shown that he can be a successful QB for three years since he was a freshman and should continue that success into the NFL. Even if he runs into struggles adjusting, he has the playmakers to help him over the bump.
11. Jayden Daniels, LSU Age: 23 years, 4 months Height: 6’4”; Weight: 210 pounds Drafted by: Washington Commanders 2nd overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: QB3 Position Dynasty Ranking: QB2
Though Caleb Williams is my QB1 for rookie drafts, Jayden Daniels isn’t too far past him. I think it’s pretty easy to see the reasoning for having Daniels as the QB1 with his Heisman season showcasing the hope for the NFL with his passing and elite speed being a nightmare for teams. One of my biggest concerns leading me to not have him higher is him taking so long to break out. He definitely wasn’t terrible his previous years, but he looked nothing like this last year and there is always the fear of regression. There has also been some talk of him taking a bit to read a defense and being surrounded by elite playmakers with fellow first rounders Malik Nabers and Brian Thomas Jr. can certainly help cover that up. His recklessness as a runner also makes me worried he could take himself out of games. All of this could be a whole lot of nothing, but part of why I have him a place lower than Williams.
The good thing for Daniels is that he’s going into a situation with some great players as well. He has a great #1 in Terry McLaurin, a very good #2 in Dotson (imo), solid backs in Brian Robinson and Ekeler and more help from the draft and free agency along the line and with Luke McCaffrey and Ben Sinnott. So, he has no shortage of weapons to help him adjust. However, Dotson still needs to prove he is as good as I think he is, Ekeler needs to show he just had bad injury luck last year and isn’t regressing, and McLaurin needs to prove he is a #1 option. That being said, my biggest concern with the landing spot is one, Kliff Kingsbury being the OC and two, the regime likely to change next year. Personally, I’m not impressed with Kingsbury's skills as a coordinator and a lot of the X&O writers/creators I watch seem to all agree that he isn’t the great offensive mind some people claim he is. Now the regime likely changing will take care of that issue (assuming they wouldn’t offer him the head coach spot for some reason), but a new coach may also have less of a positive outlook on Daniels. So a lot of good, but a few unknowns or TBDs.
I wouldn’t blame anyone for having Daniels over Williams for rookie drafts depending on their preference or league format. For me, I want to stick to my eval and expectations of Williams but see a good future for Daniels with this ranking. Short-term, I could see his rushing giving him a high floor with some really big performances if Kingsbury keeps the offense on track. Long-term, I can see Daniels having the upside of a top 10 fantasy QB if he keeps himself healthy and proves he can read defenses.
Tier 3 (Clear Path to Starter Production):
12. Trey Benson, Florida State Age: 21 years, 9 months Height: 6’0”; Weight: 216 pounds Drafted by: Arizona Cardinals 66th overall in the 3rd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: RB2 Position Dynasty Ranking: RB2 This ranking might surprise people, but this is close to an A+ landing spot for Trey Benson. In my eval of Benson, I highlighted how Benson has nearly all the traits of a top back with great contact balance, good receiving ability, and elite athleticism. What held my grade back on Benson was his vision being all over the place. But you know when vision doesn’t matter as much? When you land on a team that loves to slam gap plays and you just get the opportunity to get to speed quickly and just smash through holes. With the Cardinals having one of the highest rates of gap plays, it will let Benson play to his strengths and look like the top back he’s capable of.
Now I wouldn’t consider an actual A+ landing spot between the third round draft capital and having James Conner ahead of him. That being said, James Conner will be turning 29 this week, is on an expiring contract, and typically misses at least a few games which Benson will likely feast in. I don’t expect him to get in Benson’s way too much, but there is also the risk that Michael Carter steals some third down passing opportunities. So, the first year might be a bit frustrating but I could see him exploding at the end of the season like Ken Walker did when Penny went down. The biggest thing to monitor is that Benson has never had a huge workload in college and it might be related to his major knee injury in his freshman year. So, there could be a risk that teams aren’t confident his knee can handle that much work.
As I mentioned, this is such a great landing spot for Benson and he could potentially drop in drafts due to the number of receivers that were drafted early. Short-term, you likely won’t be able to count on him consistently unless Conner goes down. Long-term though, he could reward you for your patience.
13. Ja’Lynn Polk, Washington Age: 21 years, 0 months Height: 6’1”; Weight: 203 pounds Drafted by: New England Patriots 37th overall in the 2nd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR18 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR8 Hi, yes, it’s me, the local Ja’Lynn Polk hater now telling you to draft him in rookie drafts. I won’t lie, I definitely have my concerns with Polk but his hands, concentration, and body movement to attack balls is unquestionable. Polk has a lot of fans and clearly the Patriots view him as someone capable of being a top receiver for their young QB.
With 165 targets vacated from last year between Zeke, Devante Parker, and Gesicki and the opportunity to be a #1 option for an offense and for a top prospect, regardless of your feelings on Polk, you have to take a chance on him here. It’s basically a wide open competition to become Drake Maye’s #1 option and Polk will get a head start at rookie minicamp. At this point, the only WRs that give him any challenge at the title of the most talented receivers on the team are Demario Douglas, maybe Kayshon Boutte if he focuses on his game, and fellow draftee Javon Baker. That’s a pretty easy list to beat out. Now the nightmare scenario is that nobody rises up and it’s just an awkward spot where all the receivers rotate having good games and none can be trusted to be regular starters. This is definitely a fair fear but a risk you can take at this stage of the draft for the upside Polk’s talent and situation present.
Short-term, it might be a bit frustrating waiting for him to hopefully seize the #1 role and as Maye adjusts to the NFL. Long-term, if he claims the #1 WR role, he could likely way outperform this draft spot.
14. Troy Franklin, Oregon Age: 21 years, 8 months Height: 6’2”; Weight: 176 pounds Drafted by: Denver Broncos 102nd overall in the 4th round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR5 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR9 Now this might be the first big shocker of these rankings. As you can probably tell from my personal position rankings, I’m a big Troy Franklin fan. I think his route running and athleticism are underappreciated and I think the concerns about his hands are overstated since he had just a 3.2% drop rate and converted on 63.6% of his contested catch opportunities in 2022. I mentioned it in my eval of him, but Rashee Rice has similar inconsistencies in college but showed you can pull it together in the NFL.
Outside of believing in his talent, what makes me have Franklin this high is being able to rekindle that connection with Bo Nix. Timing is probably the biggest part and strength to Nix’s game and is also vital to Sean Payton’s offense. So, I don’t think it can be overstated how important it is to have a receiver on day 1 that you already have great chemistry and timing with. It’s not the same example since they developed their chemistry during rookie minicamp, but Tank Dell’s chemistry with Stroud is what helped him explode onto the scene. I certainly don’t expect a Dell-like season from Franklin, but I could see him being an instant contributor.
There is also an opportunity for him to instantly fill in for Jerry Jeudy after his departure. Tim Patrick returning from injury and Jeudy’s targets being the only notable vacated targets in the offense unfortunately don’t create a lot of opportunities. However, if you believe in the talent, you have to believe they can rise to the occasion. Outside of that role and Patrick, Courtland Sutton is at the point in his contract where he could be cut at any point so he could be in his final year in Denver. Marvin Mims also had a lot of fans but I personally viewed him as primarily a vertical threat and personally view Franklin as a better talent. So, his biggest barriers to a lead role are Sutton (who did have a good year), an inconsistent rookie who struggled to earn playing time, and a receiver who will turn 31 during the season coming off of a torn ACL. With the benefit of having established chemistry with the QB, it’s easy to see him succeeding.
Short-term, I really see a world where he can help a team week 1 or whenever Nix earns the starter role. If Nix struggles, that could definitely make it a bit more difficult to trust Franklin, but I’m a believer in Nix as well and his draft capital shows that the Broncos are too. Long-term, if Nix holds onto the QB spot long-term, it wouldn’t surprise me if he can provide some high-end WR2 seasons and a good floor with the nature of the offense. His draft capital holds me back from having him higher, but I’m optimistic about his outlook.
15. Drake Maye, UNC Age: 21 years, 8 months Height: 6’4”; Weight: 230 pounds Drafted by: New England Patriots 3rd overall in the 1st round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: QB2 Position Dynasty Ranking: QB3 Though Drake Maye had a down year, he showed he had too much upside and past success for the Patriots to pass him at #3 overall. He has a rocket for an arm, fair ability to pick up yards on the ground, and great deep and on the move accuracy. He might have been tied with a number of QBs in grade, but his upside made him the clear QB2 for me.
For fantasy though, Maye is a tier below Williams and Daniels due to not having the great movement skills on the ground (imo). Also, he has a new coaching staff that will need to prove it can handle a QB’s development and a QB that desperately needs to become more consistent. As I mentioned in Polk’s section, his supporting case is a bit of a mess and he won’t have the support that Williams and Daniels have. The upside is undeniable but this isn’t exactly an ideal situation for a QB to go into. However, neither was the Texans last year and just as players rise to the occasion, so can coaches.
Short-term, it could be frustrating as Maye adjusts to the NFL and as he tries to figure out which receivers he can count on. Long-term, he could really deliver some quality seasons and could have a good share of top 10 finishes if the Patriots continue to build around him.
Tier 4 (Clear Role on the Team):
16. Adonai Mitchell, Texas Age: 21 years, 6 months Height: 6’2”; Weight: 205 pounds Drafted by: Indianapolis Colts 52nd overall in the 2nd round Ranking in Personal Position Rankings: WR4 Position Dynasty Ranking: WR10 Adonai Mitchell was all over the place in a lot of people’s pre-draft rankings and I think that will continue into rookie rankings. The talent is undeniable with great route running, release skills, and ball skills to win all over the field. The production wasn’t always there in college and from an analytical standpoint, it is undeniably concerning that it could continue into the NFL.
Even going into day 2 of the draft, I felt pretty good about having Mitchell in my top 10 depending on the landing spot. However, this is pretty unideal. Mitchell will be going into a team that will likely have a focus on the run game. We don’t have a large sample of no full games with Jonathan Taylor as the lead back and Anthony Richardson together, but if we just look at Richardson’s games he was healthy for, he would have finished with 527 passing attempts for the season (which would have finished at #27 in attempts/same as the Broncos and Bears).
On top of that, Richardson is capable of scrambling and taking touchdown opportunities from receivers. Though I have faith in him as a passer, we also just need to see it over a full season as well. On top of all of this, he has to compete with Michael Pittman Jr. who I might be biased on, but I think he’s a great player and will be the team’s #1 receiver while he’s on the team. If we adjust for a year 2 bump/improvement and add 3 attempts per game (which is a pretty high increase even as small as it sounds), that would bring the offense to the middle of the league with teams like Buffalo, Seattle, Indy (with Minshew), Tampa, Miami, and Philly. These teams could clearly support a top option but would intermittently show that they could support a #2 option. Philly is probably the best comparison with a similar offense, a QB that can rush and steal touchdowns, and a clear #2 in Devonta Smith and Smith finished as the WR14 based on points/game in PPR in 2022 and the WR23 in 2023. It’s not a perfect comparison, but it gives an idea of what Mitchell’s ceiling might be if he can’t pass Pittman in targets. Josh Downs may also be a headache for him but Goedtert provides a similar barrier to keep the comparison somewhat similar.
The other issue is that Mitchell will likely take over Alec Pierce’s role and run vertical/clear out routes which is what he did in college. The pro is that he was good at this but the con is that it led to some pretty poor production from a yards per route run perspective. That being said, Richardson can hit vertical routes a lot better than Ewers so maybe it gives some hope. Anyways, it probably is clear I’m going around in circles because that’s what I did when trying to decide on his rank.
Short-term, I would keep a close eye on the situation and types of routes Mitchell is running. If it is just clear outs like in college, he might be in trouble. If he is running more of a variety of routes, then he could provide some good weeks as a rookie depending on Richardson’s development. Long-term, it’s difficult to project and will depend on Richardson’s development. If he develops or overtakes Pittman, he will far exceed this draft spot. However, my belief in Pittman and my expectations for the offense has me a bit nervous that it likely will only work out for actual NFL games and not for fantasy games and matchups.
(As I put in the title of the post, the continuation of the rankings is in my comment below. I struggle with being concise but wanted to give my explanation for the placement of some of the players)

I do friends with benefits… I have friends with benefits… all of them are male, most of them I haven’t even met in person yet. My favorite fwb got into a monogamous relationship and I'm very sad and disappointed.
Im 22 now and just recently got dumped by my favorite fwb. There is an age gap as he's 41, but I don't mind. He was my first time for everything (kiss, date, sex, shower with) when I was 19 and he was about 39. He's the hottest and richest guy l've been with (he looks like a Spanish Ken doll with tats and hiss name is C and he's a hairdresser and real estate investor, lives in a fancy place, drives fancy cars, goes to fancy places, and he travels) and he's patient and sweet as well. I had plans to finally spend the night with him - In his private suite (he said we could spend the night in his private suite).
We met on tinder and he cut my hair twice, and we linked twice within 3 years to have sex and never did overnight stuff as I still live with my parents with no car or job and I am a nervous homebody and also wanted to find the right time and I wanted someone else to buy an enema for me (I was concerned my parents would see what my package says), yet I ended up buying one myself online. Just after the day of my second haircut from him in December - and a few days before Christmas, he texted me saying he is now in a monogamous relationship. I was devastated. He was my first time, the hottest and most successful guy l've been with, I had plans with him, and those plans are thrown out the window now. I wanted the next time to be better than the last time, which I wanted to make up for.
The last time we linked, I made a mess on his bed because I wasn't fully cleaned out but he still wanted to have sex with me which made me happy. It was only months later I bought my enema when he said we could spend the night in his private suite. A week or 2 later when it came in the mail, I saw his Snapchat was gone — but not his instagram — thank god! Now i don't know if I'll ever spend the night with him in his private suite. I'm very sad I won't be able to use my enema for him first, it's like I bought my enema online for nothing. That day when we had sex, I had a quesadilla before we met again (bad decision, but only because mom took me to cafe rio) and now I am hesitant to eat another quesadilla. It's okay to have a quesadilla though... right?
I remembered I drew a sketch of him and I even wanted to draw sketches of me and him together, and I even saved my Halloween candy to make my kisses taste sweeter for him. l've never been so heartbroken, disappointed or jealous in my life. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I wonder when he met this other person. I wonder if they will stay together or break up eventually. I wish I had him for just a little longer. What's wrong with me? And if they do break up at some point, would it be a good idea to be fwbs with him again? I'm very sad and lonely rn. I wonder if I'll ever find a guy that hot and successful again. I found out on social media that my hair stylist is with a model — an actual model — who's my age. I know l'm his type as he likes younger and smaller guys but Idk if he'd ever want to date me after being with a model who's obviously more successful and is taller and more physically toned than I am. I never dated my hairdresser because idk if it would ever happen.
Before he took my virginity, he said he doesn't do dates. Plus him and I have completely different lifestyles and are at different stages in life as he's a hot rich guy with everything while I still live with parents with no car, job and I still go to college — college even worth it. Oh! And also my dad is a homophobe while my mom is very concerned about the age gap (I told her evervthing and she’s glad I'm okay). Another factor to consider is we live almost 20 miles apart, it would be inconvenient for him to drive back and forth for me. It's been since December I've been sad — partly cuz of my OCD and Aspergers, partly because I put this guy on a pedestal — cuz he's literally everything I want, partly cuz of unfulfilled promises, partly cuz of the preparation I went through, partly because before he moved on I was attempted sextorted — which is why I came out to dad (my mom and sister already knew I like men though), accidentally sent a nude to a classmate, had to do finals at the end of the semester, had to block an asshole for calling me a child and being demanding, and partly cuz my hairdresser C was my first time and I wanted him to be more firsts for me. I could've really used a night together with him, but then he moved on and I was so, so, so, so devastated.
A short time after my hair stylist moved on, was a series of more of my pen pals and fwbs moving on or me dumping them - as well as me crying to my friends for weeks. I wish I had more time with him. I fantasized about watching movies in bed with him, playing games with him, taking me to those fancy places he goes to, having kinky times (dressing up as Peter Pan and Harley Quinn for him, getting in the hot tub, skinny dipping), traveling with him — all that stuff. I don't know if he ever considered dating me dating me, if not, though, I was willing to settle for being friends with benefits with him at the very least, and spend the night with him — and we never spent the night together which makes me very sad.
On the bright side, he still follows me on instagram and I still follow him and I share with him. I wonder if he still thinks I'm attractive. I wonder if he thinks I wasted his time. I fear everyday he'll block me on Instagram. I still get dreams and nightmares about him. I fear my hair stylist thought: "Ya know what? What am I doing fucking around? Is that kid trying to waste my time? Why bother waiting around for some loser college boy when I can be dating a model?" I wonder if my hair stylist would be open to rekindling if he became single again. If we rekindled, would it be a good idea to ask him if he'd want to date me? Right now I'm still tempted to ask him if he would want to rekindle if he was single. That’s what’s going on. Would you judge me if I rekindled with him? If he was single that is.

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Transcription Subject: Maarten de Groot, Human Refugee/Meat dealer
Date [standardized human time]: February 22, 2137
“♫Money, money, money. It must be funny in the rich man’s world. ♪”
I sang the classical song in old English as we entered Gilt’s house, having just made another delivery to HF. I had taken out the stack of bills that we had received for our delivery, and started to count them while walking towards the couch.
“Can you not sing that stupid song for once? We’re working for Humanity First. They tied us up, threatened us, double-crossed us, and you’re singing about their blood money.” I can’t blame Gilt for being angry, I am too, I just prefer to ignore it and focus on the good side -money.
Gilt angrily sat down at the combination kitchen table and lab and began analysing something under a microscope.
I had been working here nearly daily. Ever since we started to increase production, Gilt has been needing help. There is too much to do for one venlil, they tend to get tired a lot faster than a human does, and they can’t carry as much either. I had decided to clean some of his house as well, removing the stains from the floor and washing the remaining windows, allowing vastly more natural light in. Gilt said it was a waste of time, but I think he secretly likes it. The place looks a bit homey now, even with half the ground floor being taken up by an illegal lab. Our partnership has gotten better as well, but he’s still very distant with me, not wanting to show any more emotion then happiness or anger.
I sat down on my spot on the couch to start counting out the money so I could split it equally when I heard the crunching sound of paper. I stood up and sat down again and heard the same crunching sound. Is he hiding his money under the couch cushions? I expected better of him…Wait, why the fuck would I do that? Lifting up the cushion revealed a large pile of bills. The one on the top was placed sideways and had crumpled under my weight. I read one bill after another using my holopad’s visual translator. Electricity, water, health insurance, car insurance, the list went on and on, many demanding a fee for the late pay. How much money does he owe? “Gilt, what the fuck is this?” I said, waving one of the bills from across the room.
He looked up, still a bit agitated from the previous conversation. He squinted for a moment, trying to read the text from the distance before realizing what I was holding. “It’s none of your business!”
“Fuck you, it’s my business, this is literally our business. What the hell will happen if you continue not paying these bills? What if they cut the water or electricity, how are we then going to produce anything? I don’t think HF will be happy if we stop supplying. Or what if they kick down your door for repossession, they will see all of this,” I yelled, gesturing to all the barrels and vats full of nutrient paste and muscle stem cells.
“WELL I... didn’t tell you, because I don’t know how to fix it.” His shoulders, ears and tail slumped. He looked rather ashamed.
“What, why not? We make shit loads of cash everyday.”
“Yes, cash. You can’t pay the bills with cash, you need to make a bank transaction, I can’t just go to the electric company with a stack of money.”
“Can’t you just deposit into your bank account?”
“No you idio- no you can’t, how do you think it would look if I suddenly deposited thousands of credits? I go from someone who hasn’t worked for over a decade to suddenly having that amount of money, how am I going to explain that?” He seemed to actively try and calm himself down.
“How did you do it before then? Back when you were a drug cook.”
“I didn’t, I worked under a boss who took care of all of that.” He huffed. “It was quite clever, he started a company that delivered fresh fruit. But not all deliveries were fruit, some were drugs, and because the packages were sealed, not even the delivery boys were aware of what we sold.” He walked over to the couch, sat on his spot, and grabbed one of the bills. “Not smart enough though, we pretended to sell far more food then we actually bought. One smart inspector noticed this discrepancy between what came in and what went out, and before I knew it, I was arrested together with my lab crew, and one short trial later I ended up in you-know-where…” He just stared at the papers, lost in thought.
“So is that it, are you going to let everything go to ruin because of the past?”
He quickly sat upright and his sad look quickly disappeared, replaced with determination. “No, I simply don’t know how to do this, money laundering that is. There are too many problems to solve.”
“Alright, let’s do this one problem at the time, before you actually become a filthy homeless man.”
His ears folded back in anger. “I’m not…!” He took a deep breath and dragged his hands over his face. “They all revolve around the fact that we have to start a company. That way we can pretend we earned all of this black money legitimately and can turn it white.”
“Can’t we just open a store, buy a bunch of stuff, shelve some, label it all, perhaps have an employee…” This all requires a lot more work than I thought, if only we had some corrupt lawyer who could help us.
“No, no, that’s where it went wrong with my previous job, we can’t pretend to sell more stuff then we buy in, or they will notice the discrepancy.”
“How about a restaurant?”
“That’s a terrible idea, we would have to buy a ton of food, just so we can pretend we sold…all...of…that.” His words slowed down as I noticed his right eye focusing on the large pile of produce we had stacked up against a wall, ready to be turned into nutrient paste for the meat. “You’re a genius! We open a restaurant, and all we have to do is claim we sold all of this, we can even buy it in bulk.”
“And we can use it as a tax write off. Just because we’re going to be paying taxes doesn't mean we can’t try and lower it.”
“That does leave us with 2 problems however. We need someone stupid enough to not know that the company is there for money laundering, despite the business hardly pulling any customers yet staying open.”
“We could hire Earl.” He would probably love running a restaurant. I can already imagine him greeting a random customer in his terribly pronounced venlilian.
“What, no, we’re not going to hire a human, and especially not Earl. What idiot would hire a human to work in a restaurant? The place would instantly get shut down by the food inspectors, or perhaps even the exterminators.” Yeah, that was a dumb idea, even hiring a human as cook would be ridiculous and a recipe for a disaster.
“What about Havek?” He already knows Gilt and would be loyal, although he’s a nervous wreck.
“No, he can’t keep his mouth shut, and he thinks the exterminators are there to help him.”
“I’ll post something on a job searching site, I’m sure we’ll find someone. We both went to enough interviews to know how to do one. What’s the last problem?”
“This is the biggest one, we have to find someone willing to rent out a storefront to a human and an ex-PD patient.” I scratched behind my head, trying to come up with a plan. I took a good look at Gilt’s body; it was covered in scars, many so big that the fur doesn’t even cover them. The fur itself was visibly greasy and matted, and the once fully white fur was filled with stains of food and alcohol. “Hey, why are you looking at me like that?”
“I think I got an idea. I’ll find us a place to rent, and I’ll make sure the owner will surely want to rent it out to you.”
“I don’t like the sound of this.”
Transcription Subject: Maarten de Groot, Human Refugee/Meat dealer
Date [standardized human time]: February 23, 2137
I helped myself into Gilt’s house with the spare key he reluctantly had given to me, only to be met with an angry Gilt. “What is this?!” He threw an already opened package at me. I am pretty sure that he aimed for my head, but I had to lean and take a step forward to actually catch it.
“Oh good, my package arrived. They’re exterminator badges.” I’m used to Gilt’s anger by now and just let it happen.
“I know what they are. Why would you order such a thing?” His tail whipped left and right, agitated and letting me know that he was a lot more angry then he is normally. Alright, he means it, I have to explain this carefully.
“We’re going to need these for the interview tomorrow with the landlord, so we can get the lease.” I took one out of the box and inspected it; it was a shield shaped piece of metal with a symbol on the front and a magnet on the back, allowing it to be clipped onto a fireproof suit or fur.
“How are you planning on using that to convince the landlord to giving us a lease?” The tone he gave sounded almost like he felt betrayed. That can’t be, he doesn’t trust anyone.
“Because right now, you’re a filthy ex-PD patient.” Before he could get angry, I stepped towards him, and even though he leaned back, he allowed me to clip the badge onto a larger piece of matted fur on his chest. “But now, you’re a filthy exterminator veteran. He’ll surely like you more like this.”
“I’m not going to pretend to be an exterminator, they were the ones who locked me up!”
“It’s only for an hour or so, and after that you can be your crazy self again.”
“Okay…why did you let it get sent to my house anyway?”
“Because no one is going to send their dead grandpa’s exterminator medals to an address in the refugee housing for pred- humans. I bought 3 of them by the way, one for a thousand confirmed kills, another for 25 years of service, and the third badge of honour, because apparently you can burn animals honourably.” I laughed at my own morbid joke; Gilt, on the other hand, couldn’t find this situation any less amusing. He pulled the badge off the patch of matted fur, and winced from the tug. “This is part 1 of my plan to get us that lease, you’re not going to like part 2.”
“Just spit it out already.”
“You know how I said you looked like a filthy exterminator veteran? Well, perhaps we should drop the filthy part.”
“Oooh no, I’m not going to…You’re not…” His eyes went fully walleyed, and he fully blanked out.
“Hey, hey, snap out of it! Or don’t, then cleaning you will be much easier.” That last part did it, and his eyes focused once more on me. I grabbed the bag I had brought with me. “I have a few things that will make it all easier. 3 bottles of extra strong anti-tangle shampoo, 2 scrubbers, stain remover for fur, a whole bunch of different types of combs, a waterproof electric clipper just in case, and a rubber ducky to calm you down.” I loaded everything back into the bag and saw Gilt staring at me in disbelief. “Alright, I can’t believe I have to say this to an adult man, but please work with me, I have to put you in the bath.”
“Oh no, no, no, not you too.” He stood in the middle of the room, his body frozen in what in what I believed to be fear.
“Gilt, I am not going to hurt you, this is for your own good. Now if you don’t mind, I have to start disassembling your hydrogen production thingy you built into the bath tub.”
“Hydrogen is extremely flammable, you can’t disassemble that alone, it’s too dangerous!”
“Well, I guess I have to be careful then.” Please buy into my bullshit. He chased after me as I walked up the stairs. The upstairs was always a lot cleaner, albeit still very dusty though, or at least it was until I decided to do something about it on a slow day. There were 3 bedrooms, one for junk, another is permanently locked, and Gilt’s. Gilt’s bedroom mostly contained a bed and a closet. I wasn’t allowed to enter his room, but the one time I secretly did, I saw a couple of photos hanging on the wall. They were all of venlil I didn’t recognize, all except for one; a much younger and happier looking Gilt, completely clean and scarless. There was also an attic, but that was mostly filled with old junk that was never thrown away, like baby toys and old furniture.
The hydrogen production Gilt has to fuel is car is built into his bath tub, he had explained to me how it works. A couple of live electrical wires ran into the water and cause the water to split into oxygen and hydrogen. The 2 elements are then each pulled into a separate part of the tub. The 2 sides are separated almost completely by a sheet of metal that nearly reaches the bottom. The right side is that of the hydrogen, and is completely sealed off above the water, ending in a rusty pump that pumps the element into a gas tank. The left side is only covered by a sheet of wood, seemingly for no reason. Wait the left side is big enough for Gilt to fit into, we don’t even have to dissemble this whole mess, I just have to turn the power off.
“Good news, we don’t have to dissemble this, you can fit into the oxygen side.” His ears were down in sorrow and he took a step back. “Look, I know you’re scared of water, but you know it’s just a silly fear right?”
“I-I’m not scared.” He lifted his ears and tail, trying to make himself appear more confident.
“Last week you nearly crashed your car when it suddenly started to rain. That was also the only time you didn’t accompany me during a delivery, because you didn’t want to walk through the rain. You even came along every time we delivered to HF, yet you refused to when it rained.” I grabbed a cup of water and brought it to him. “Alright, let’s start off slow.”
He lowered his head and suddenly slammed it into me. A massive pang of pain rushed through me. I dropped the cup, fell onto my knees, and then onto my side, all the while covering the part he just rammed into. “Aaaagh, what the fuck was that for!?” I yelled in an octave higher then I want to admit.
“You were going to pour water onto me!” The cup of water had missed him by a hair, and he was now standing besides the puddle, still in front of me.
“I was going to let you put your hand into it, at your own pace. And why did you have to hit me there?”
“It’s only your crotch, I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”
“’Not hurt so much?’ You headbutt me right into my bloody balls!”
“Your what?”
“My…” Still laying on the floor, I looked up at Gilt’s Ken-doll like crotch. Right… “My testicles, I thought you would know human anatomy considering the amount of time you spend on the human internet.”
“I’m not you, I don’t look that stuff up.”
“Half the internet is covered in it, you have to put in effort to never see a naked body.” I pushed myself up from the floor, and to my surprise Gilt aided me. “Ball pain or not, I still need to wash you.”
“I really don’t want to.” For once, he didn’t attempt to hide his fear or other vulnerable emotions. He looked scared and sad. Fuck, he’s really not ready, I can’t force this on him.
“You still need to look presentable though. I suppose we have to comb all those mats out and hope it looks good enough.”
The progress was slow and painstaking. This was literal for Gilt, more than once did he yelp as I tugged the comb too hard. I did his back and arms, as you mostly required 2 hands to do this right. I had to do the base of his tail and butt as well, it being too awkward of a location for him to properly comb it all out. It was mostly clean though. Mostly. The things you do for a friend…
As I worked away tufts of matted fur, some fell away revealing orange and white scars that beforehand had been completely covered up, and the bigger ones only became more prominent. Most of the scars were simply singular lines, but others branched out like the roots of a tree, starting big and branching out into smaller, thinner lines. Some pieces of fur were knotted so close to the skin that they had become impossible to comb out, and had to be shaved off. Something that must be a relief to Gilt, I had seen him often getting pains from these pieces tugging at his skin.
In the end, there was a large pile of fur, almost as much as he had still had on himself, and a now relatively clean-looking Gilt, his scars a lot more prominent.
“I look even worse,” he said, looking into the mirror and sorrowfully taking in his body.
“No, you look metal.” Gilt looked at me with confusion. “You look cool, wicked, rad…” Stupid translator, it doesn’t seem to translate slang. Earl might be onto something, with him actually learning their language. “You look tough.”
He perked up from that compliment. “Tough,” he repeated, and he turned around to fully take himself in. “You really think more people will accept me like this?”
“Well, that depends on your personality, but you look more welcoming for sure. You now at least appear to take care of yourself.” Why does he want people to accept him? He’s always so abrasive.
“I have plenty of personality.” He placed his hands in his side and looked with pride into the mirror. “Now, it is getting late, and I haven’t had my second meal yet. Are you hungry for bratwurst?”
A/N:
As always I really appreciate comments, it gives a lot more satisfaction than a few up arrows.
A special thanks to u/InstantSquirrelSoup for proofreading. Check out his fic: Arxur Hospitality
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I wanted to share my experience in terms of weight gain, sexual dysfunction and insomnia, as I know these are common concerns.
I’ve been on Parnate since December 2023, slowly increasing to 50mg. I’ve been on 50mg for about 10 days.
I haven’t experienced any weight gain, and I’ve actually lost 2 kg’s or so.
My sexual function is about the same, except I’d say I experience very minor, almost negligible erectile dysfunction, but no issues in terms of interest and orgasm.
I’ve always suffered with insomnia, but Parnate hasn’t exacerbated this, but I do take Clonidine to help me sleep. The only thing I’d say, is that if I take my second dose of Parnate after 3pm, sometimes I find it a little bit more difficult to fall asleep, but nothing extreme.
These are just my experiences and I understand everyone is different. But my experience does seem to be about on par with what is documented.
I can also confirm that, I am someone who is extremely sensitive when it comes to Parnate and the postural hypotension. I had BP drops upon standing of 30-40 numbers at just 10mg. Hence why I had to go slow increasing the dose, which at least for me, helped. I still experience BP drops 4 months in, of about 20-30 numbers, but thankfully I’m asymptomatic, and only feel those typical postural hypotension symptoms if I work my body too vigorously.
I do also very occasionally experience “post dose hyPERtension” (high BP after my second dose), but this was more common in the beginning and rarely happens now and when it does, the BP goes back to normal after a couple of hours, but sometimes I will use a little bit of Propranolol (10mg-20mg), because it does make me nervous seeing my BP so high, and sometimes I get that tingly feeling in my head and also a terrible gut ache with the BP being so high, so the Propranolol just helps bring it down a bit. And is something recommended by Dr. Ken Gillman and other MAOI experts. Just be mindful that Propranolol lowers heart rate, so maybe don’t do it if your heart rate is very low with the hypertension. Just be careful!

Emmerette laid in bed one early Saturday morning, enjoying a few peaceful moments before another busy day. No doubt Mackenzie’d wanna go to the park again, she sighed: i’ve taken her there every other Saturday for the past two months, hasn’t she gotten sick of it yet? She thought to herself. She wondered how her classmates were spending their weekends, maybe having a lie in after a long school week, maybe hanging out with friends, not worrying about their little sisters 24/7, not worried about putting food on the table or that someone would find out and separate them. Emmerette didn’t mind too much though, after all, she loved her sister: Sometimes i’d like a lie in too that’s all. She reflected.
On cue, she heard a knock at the door: “Come in Ken”. Mackenzie walked in with her arms folded: “Stop calling me that”! Emmerette smirked: “Sorry Mac book”. Mackenzie picked up a cushion that had fallen on the floor and threw it at Emmerette: “Ow”! “Worst sister ever”. Mackenzie responded sticking her tongue out. Emmerette simply smiled: “Oh yeah”? She scooped Mackenzie up in her arms and began tickling her: “Hey”! “If i’m such a bad sister I might as-well do this huh”? Mackenzie squealed with laughter as Emmerette continued tickling her harder and harder, blowing raspberries on her cheek intermittently: “Aaahh, put me down Em”! “Apologise”! “Never”! Emmerette tickled Mackenzie even harder: “Ok ok i’m sorry i’m sorry put me down”! Mackenzie giggled hysterically: “There we go, that’s better”. Emmerette answered finally putting her sister down: “Morning baby girl”. She smiled before kissing Mackenzie on the forehead: “Morning Emmie, sleep good”? “Yeah, I slept ok thanks, how did you sleep”? She nodded: “Yeah, can we go to the red slide park again”?! Emmerette had to stop herself from laughing, she knew it: “We’ve been going there for weeks Mack, don’t you wanna try something new”? “Awww but I like that one, please Emmie”? “We can try something new next time, please”? Emmerette relented: “Fine, go downstairs and wait for me i’ll be there in a sec and make you some toast”. Mackenzie jumped up and down excitedly, clapping: “Yaaay, thank you Emmie”. She kissed her on the cheek and ran downstairs. Emmerette sighed again and pulled out her bottom drawer where her secret stash was. She’d been doing great without it the past two days, but she had no energy today, she needed the boost: “Sorry Ken”. She whispered before opening the bottle of vodka and taking a long swig. As she closed it she instantly felt lighter, stronger, more confident that she could face the day. She smiled, jumped out of bed, put the stash back in its hiding spot and skipped merrily downstairs to meet Mackenzie.
“Hello Kenny”!! Emmerette beamed, spinning around. Annoyed, Mackenzie through a napkin at her, Emmerette laughed: “You really hate that nickname don’t you”? “It’s a boy’s name I keep telling you that”! Emmerette giggled at her: “You know if you didn’t keep reacting I wouldn’t keep doing it right”? “i’m moving out”. “Oh yeah”? “And where are you gonna go”? Mackenzie thought for a moment, placing a finger on her chin: “Hmm”… her face suddenly lit up: “I know”! “I can go stay with Lexie”! “Right and Lexie’s mum will try to get a hold of our mum and blow our cover”. Mackenzie sagged in her seat, Emmerette smirked: “Looks like you’re stuck with me sis”. “Can’t wait to be a grown up”. Mackenzie mumbled: “I can’t wait either, the sooner you’re out of my hair the better”. Mackenzie stuck her tongue out at her sister and Emmerette did the same before heading further into the kitchen: “Do you want jam on your toast or chocolate spread”? “Both please”! Mackenzie replied. Emmerette rolled her eyes: “You are not having both again, remember what happened last time”? Mackenzie looked disappointed: “You’re no fun”. Emmerette raised an eyebrow: “Guess you won’t wanna go to the red slide park with your boring sister then”. “Noooo, I wanna go I take it back”! “Haha, thought so, so chocolate spread”? “K”. “Good girl”. Emmerette turned her attention to making the toast: “Are you gonna have toast too”? “Yup, and coffee”. “Can I have coffee”? “No way, you’re gonna be hyper enough at the park already thank you very much”. Mackenzie sighed: “Will you ever let me have coffee”? “Maybe if you’re really good i’ll let you have a little bit on your birthday”. Mackenzie gasped: “So I have to be good for a whole week”?! Emmerette turned back to face her with a smile: “Yup, think you can manage that”? “Mackenzie nodded, “it’s a deal then”. “Yaaaay”! Mackenzie clapped: “Best sister ever”! Emmerette smiled: “You’ve changed your tune haven’t you”? Mackenzie giggled as Emmerette turned her attention back to making breakfast.
They arrived at the park and Mackenzie immediately spotted the red slide: “Aaahh yaaay”!!! Mackenzie exclaimed running towards it: “Careful Mack”. Emmerette answered walking after her: “Come on Em”! Mackenzie beckoned, climbing up the steps and sitting on the slide. Emmerette climbed up after her and sat beside her: “Ready”? “Yup ready”. “3, 2, 1….Weeee”!!! Mackenzie cheered as they both went down the slide. They went down the slide a few more times before going on the monkey bars.
“Oo oo ahah”! “We’re monkeys Em”! “i’d rather be a Gorilla if i’m honest Mack, they’re way cooler, watch”. Emmerette jumped off the monkey bars and beat against her chest, making gorilla noises: “I wanna try”! Before Mackenzie could jump down too, Emmerette carefully helped her off the monkey bars instead: “Careful Mack”. “i’m not a baby Em, i’m 9 next week”. She told her, folding her arms: “You’ll always be my baby sister and i’ll never stop wanting to protect you”. Mackenzie rolled her eyes: “Fine, next time i’ll let you fall to your death shall i”? “They’re not that high”! “Yes they are, go on try to reach them”. Mackenzie strained as she tried to stretch up to reach the monkey bars, she then tried to jump up to reach them, Emmerette laughed: “Told you”. “You smell”. “Like perfection”. “Emmerette flicked her hair and gave her sister a dazzling smile, Mackenzie just sighed: “Anyway let me be a grilla too”. Mackenzie beat on her chest too imitating her sister: “Was that good”? Emmerette smiled: “Amazing baby girl, what do you wanna do next”? Mackenzie gasped and pointed toward the swing set: “Swings”! She shouted before rushing over to them.
“Wow… let’s go higher Em”! Mackenzie encouraged as she swung higher and higher. Emmerette tried to match her: “You can go a lot higher than me baby, you’ve got smaller legs”. “Yaaay for little legs”! She cheered, swinging higher: “See”? “There are some good things about being little”. “When i’m 9 i’m gonna be bigger”! Emmerette chuckled: “Yeah you are”. “And then i’ll be bigger and bigger until i’m as big as you”! “How big are you again Em”? “Well, i’m about 5ft 3 inches tall and i’m 15 years old”. Mackenzie gasped: “Wow, I wanna be as big as you”! “You will be one day Macky, you’ll be taller, older, stronger, hopefully wiser”. “Wiser than you”? Emmerette rolled her eyes: “Oh ha ha very funny, hey speaking of age, you still haven’t told me what you want for your birthday”. “Oh erm… nothing special”. “Come on Mack, there must be something”. “You might not like it”. Emmerette chuckled; “Oh no it’s not another box of barbies is it”? Mackenzie laughed: “No, that’s for Christmas”. “Oh of course baby my mistake”. She tittered: “So go on, what is it”? “You might not be able to get it”. Emmerette stopped swinging: “Hey, come here”. Mackenzie got off the swing and slowly walked over to Emmerette who lifted her onto her lap: “Don’t ever be scared to ask me for something ok”? “if it’s something you really want or need, i’ll do my best to make it happen, and if I can’t get you that exact thing i’ll come up with a great substitute, especially for your birthday ok”? “I’ll always do my best for you, understand”? Mackenzie nodded: “So tell me what you want”. Mackenzie bit her lip nervously: “I want mummy to come”. Emmerette froze, she wasn’t expecting that, she’d been hoping Mackenzie had forgotten about their mother like she herself was trying to, but apparently that was asking way too much, she swallowed: “Well I mean… i-I could try but baby… you know i’ve tried to phone her for ages… it’s very unlikely you get that right”? Mackenzie looked up at her hopefully: “Maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she misses us now, maybe she’s gotten sick of cranky Kevin”. Emmerette chuckled at the old nickname they’d given him: “Member”? “She got sick of that other boy… what did you call him again”? Luke the Locust”. She laughed again remincantly: “Yeah”! “See Em, mummy changes her mind all the time”! Mackenzie looked at Emmerette pleadingly, Emmerette swallowed again: “I’ll try baby”. She answered, kissing the top of her head and holding her closer, Mackenzie smiled: “Thank you Emmie”.
That night, after putting Mackenzie to bed, Emmerette sat on her bed with her secret stash in front of her, her phone opened to her mum’s number. She wondered why she hadn’t deleted it, at least then she could tell Mackenzie she had no way of contacting her anymore. She promised herself she wouldn’t keep doing this, that she’d be stronger but she wasn’t prepared, she needed the boost, with a heavy sigh she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a couple gulps before flopping back onto her bedcovers in a fit of giggles: that’s better She thought to herself. She the picked up her phone rang her mum’s number, it went to voicemail as predicted, she sighed in exasperation before leaving a voicemail: “Hello mummy dearest”! She giggled again: “I know you don’t give a damn about us but Mackenzie doesn’t understand that, she’s just a kid”… Her playful mood quickly evaporated: “It’s her 9th birthday next week, can you believe it mum”? “Next year she’ll be in double digits”! She smiled proudly at the thought: “She wants you to come and see her, dunno why you would but like I said she’s just a kid, she doesn’t get it, don’t worry, you don’t have to stay, you can just come for the day and then crawl back under whatever alcohol induced hole you came from, I do get it though… it can be really helpful”. She took a glance at the near empty bottle of vodka beside her: How did it come to this? How did I become exactly like her? “But one thing I don’t get is that you could leave her, I mean forget me, I gave up on you years ago but her”? “She’s amazing mum, how could you abandon her”? “It’s bad enough that she doesn’t have her dad, she needs a parent”… Tears gathered in her eyes: “I’m not enough for her, I know i’m not, i’m trying but-…. Please mum, if you ever loved either of us, you’ll come back and look after her, she needs you”. She quickly hung up, not wanting her mum to hear her cry. She put her phone down, put her stash back in her bottom drawer and headed to Mackenzie’s room.
Once inside, she quietly shut the door behind her and climbed in bed beside Mackenzie, pulling her close, she played with Mackenzie’s hair and allowed the tears to fall: “Baby girl… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry for everything, I’m sorry I can’t be enough for you, i’m sorry our parents are so crap”… She laughed through her tears: “I’m trying, I really am, maybe I’m being selfish by not letting you go, maybe it would be better for you if I told someone about this, maybe it’d give you a better childhood if you got adopted or something, but what if it didn’t work out”? “What if something bad happened or you didn’t get adopted at all then what”? “We need each other, we’re all we’ve got”… “I wish I could’ve been your mummy instead, that way you’d never know abandonment, i’ll never abandon you Ken, I love you so much baby girl”… She held Mackenzie even closer, crying into her hair, inhaling the scent of the shampoo she’d used to wash Mackenzie’s hair earlier. Suddenly Mackenzie began to stir: “Mmm… Emmie”? She asked turning to face her: “Why are you crying Emmie”? “Is it bcoz I asked about mummy”? “No, course not baby, I just watched a really sad movie that’s all”. She managed a wobbly smile. Mackenzie groaned, tilting her head back: “Was it that boring doggy one again”? again she laughed through her tears: “Guilty”. Mackenzie laughed too: “Silly Emmie, you know that one always makes you cry, why did you watch it”? “Gluten for punishment I guess”. Mackenzie wiped a few of Emmerette’s tears away then hugged her, ushering her head onto Mackenzie’s shoulder: “Better”? Emmerette nodded: “Better, thanks Mack, I love you, you know that right”? “Mmhmm”. Mackenzie nodded: “I love you too Em, Na-night”. “Night baby”. Feeling a little better, Emmerette drifted off to sleep in the arms of the most important person in her life, she didn’t know if there mum would come through for Mackenzie, but Emmerette always would.