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2012.01.21 23:18 twentygreen New Zealand Photos
A subreddit dedicated to photographs of New Zealand.
2024.05.15 19:47 oktheng Help
My sister found this while cleaning a holiday home and I can’t find it anywhere online. Is it fake? Not the best photo I know. But it says Burberry London England on the front and on the back has a teddy bear
submitted by oktheng to HelpMeFindThis [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 19:43 Equation56 The Very Suspicious Death of Noah Presgrove (Comanche, Oklahoma)
Hi Everyone!
This is my first write-up of any kind of unresolved mystery, on any platform, so I apologize for any formatting errors and my storytelling ability. Today I would like to hear your thoughts on the very mysterious death of Noah Presgrove, a 19 year old from Comanche Oklahoma. I have tried to be as thorough as possible with the details, but there is a great deal of conflicting information in the news reports, so I primarily used facts stated by Noah's family in interviews. With that said, let's begin...
Noah Presgrove was a handsome, athletic 19 year old from Comanche Oklahoma, which is located just south of Oklahoma City in the middle of the state. Noah had recently graduated high school in the spring of 2023 and was waiting for his cousin to do the same the following year so they both could enlist in the Marine Corp together and serve our country. By all accounts Noah was a ladies man, standing at 6'2" with an athletic build, in high school he was a 4-sport athlete with American Football and Wrestling among them. His family also says he was adventurous, kind and very much a jokester who would happily play pranks on his family. Last Labor Day weekend, the first weekend of September 2023, Noah was deciding between attending Rocklahoma, an annual 3-day hard rock and metal festival held in Pryor, Oklahoma, with family members or attending a 4-day Labor Day weekend bash/22nd birthday party of a friend. Noah considered going to Rocklahoma, but changed his mind when the family members he'd be attending with said they didn't think it was a good idea for Noah's 16 year old friend to join them there, since they didn't know this friend's family and Rocklahoma is big for consuming alcohol. With that, everyone went their own way to celebrate the holiday weekend.
The Labor Day/Birthday party was for a female friend of Noah's who was turning 22. It had been advertised on Snapchat, even containing the address, so quite a few people were expected to attend. Noah drove himself to the party on Saturday and by all accounts enjoyed himself. He did text his family member who was at Rocklahoma and express regret at not going with them, but it doesn't appear that this put too much of a damper on his attitude at the house party. After spending Saturday at the birthday girl's house, Noah returned home Sunday, probably to freshen up and take care of any outstanding errands or just check in with his grandmother, with whom he lived. Also, Noah's car was leaking from the oil pan, so it sounds like part of the reason to return home was to leave it there so he wouldn't have to worry about it. There are two stories about what happened next: The first is that one of Noah's friends picked him up from his house on Sunday, but took him to a truck stop so he could grab some food from the Sonic there. Oddly, the friend who took him there says he left him there and Noah was then given a ride to the party by the birthday girl, who had to come pick him up. The other story is that his best friend picked him up from his house and took him directly to the party, leaving him in the driveway. Either way, Noah was back at the party on Sunday and according to those present, was very much enjoying himself. There were videos from the party showing Noah and his friends doing "guy things" like the Slap Game, where two people try to slap each other across the face as hard as they can. Just "macho" drunken teenage guy things. There was also video from the party of the guests playing "classic" party games such as beer pong.
With all the drinking going on, some issues were bound to arise. A confrontation happened between Noah and his best friend. Noah had been in a corner with his best friend's girlfriend and apparently they had their backs to everyone else while talking. The best friend took exception to this and an argument ensued. Luckily, it did not become physical and they made up shortly after, but this event with the best friend and his girlfriend is important for later. A second confrontation occurred between Noah and a 16 year old guest that did become physical. The 16 year old accused Noah of hiding his phone, although the reasons why he thought Noah did it have not been stated. During the argument the kid "fishhooked" Noah and Noah returned the favor by biting his finger. It seems like the other people there were able to diffuse the situation and the kid's phone was found underneath another guest who was sleeping on a couch. As the day went on, things continued to become crazier as the people at the party drank more and more. At one point girls at the party started signing their names on Noah's torso and buttocks, writing things such as "Noah's hot!" and drawing a cartoon penis on his rear-end. Noah and the best friend he had the argument with even drove a John Deere "Gator" UTV "Side by Side" around the property, but stopped when Noah scrapped his hand almost flipping it over. Some people even say that Noah was tossed from the UTV, but he was checked out by a nurse at the party and she said he had nothing to worry about. Another event worth mentioning is that the birthday girl seemed to have a crush on Noah. Noah realized this, or was told this, and while talking to her about it called her a "fat, nasty b*tch". I assume that they were close friends and this is just a drunken teen being a drunken teen. An odd thing to mention is that this girl's mother, who also lives in the home, had told Noah's family that she believed Noah wanted her sexually. Whether this is true or not, I have no clue, but it seems a very weird thing to say to the family of a 19 year old your daughter is friends with.
So here's where the mystery comes in. Early Monday morning (September 4th, 2023), after 2:00am, the guests say that Noah was upset about something and that it might have had to do with sleeping in either the birthday girl's or her mother's bed. One of them either heard, or saw, Noah attempting to sleep in their bed and demanded that he go on the floor. This apparently upset Noah so much that he said he needed to go out for a walk, completely drunk, very early in the morning. The guests say Noah was wearing his best friend's shorts (we'll get to his clothes later) and could only find one of his shoes, so he grabbed another shoe lying around the house and took off out the front door. The house had a 1/2 mile long driveway that then went out to US-81, a major North-South highway that runs for 1,200+ miles through the central US. At 3:41am, a friend of Noah's posted a weird Snapchat: a photo of a girl at the party smiling, with the caption "well, Noah's missing". This was the last Snapchat posted by any of the partygoers after days of constant videos and pics. Around 5:00am, a semi-truck driving along US-81 saw something he believed to be a body lying on the shoulder of the road. After driving past, he became concerned and turned around to confirm what he saw. By the time he got back, two other vehicles had stopped in front of the lifeless body of Noah on the shoulder. He was completely naked wearing only 2 mismatched shoes and curled up in a fetal position. He appeared to have blunt force trauma to the back of his head. He had small scrapes on his left shoulder and left hip and his fingertips on both hands were reported as being "shredded", down to the bone. Noah's front top and bottom teeth had also been knocked out and they were found scattered at the scene. There was no blood found at the scene, other than a small amount around Noah's injuries. Very concerning was the fact that there was no writing on his body anywhere. Not on his torso and not on his buttocks. The shorts Noah was wearing were found folded up next him. The people at the party said "They must've been knocked off when he was hit.", which obviously does not make sense.
Around 6:00am, with the police already notified by the people who found Noah, all Snapchat's/social media from people at the party was deleted. His friends and acquaintances at the party say they have no idea what led up to his death and they were unaware of it. The police did not search the house because they said: "Noah wasn't found there.". They did eventually conduct a "mass" interview with all the partygoers. During this interview, Noah's best friend's girlfriend, the one that led to his first confrontation, told police she had never met Noah. She had wiped her phone so completely that even her boyfriend's number had been deleted. When the guests were asked about Noah being naked, the girls said they gave Noah a "shower", but Noah's mental state at the time, whether mildly drunk or completely inebriated, has been an area of dispute among the guests. Some say he was joking around and being himself while being showered, other accounts state that he was barely conscious. Noah's clothing he wore to the party that night has never been located. Police were told that after Noah showered his clothes were dirty, so he wore his friend's shorts. There is a rumor that his best friend's father found Noah's shirt from the party, which was then cut-up and distributed to the party attendees as a "memento". In addition to this event with his shirt, there is also information that his best friend's father had some of Noah's teeth in his pocket. He stated he "accidentally" picked them up from the crime scene. It's worth stating that this particular individual has been on Noah's family's Facebook memorial page for months, arguing with others on there. Just very odd behavior from an adult father who's son's best friend died mysteriously. But, on this same topic, NONE of the partygoers or their families have ever visited Noah's family to express their condolences. Never once.
Since Noah's friends and others at the party said they didn't know what happened, the police had their work cut out for them. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol obtained a "geofence" warrant covering a 1-1/2 mile radius around the party house. What they found was a bit disturbing. Around the time it is believed Noah died, 2 phones were traced as having left the house, heading to the location of his body. After briefly staying there, the two phones returned to the house. People at the party told a private investigator hired by Noah's family that they went out looking for Noah in the UTV/Gator that Noah and his friend had been on earlier. If they had really done this, they would have found him since the phones were at the spot Noah was found. It has not been released who exactly this was. Also revealed when police searched phones was a video of the birthday girl and her sister on their front porch, screaming at each other about Noah leaving the party. It is believed that this could be relevant. The Texas Rangers also became involved, due to the fact that two men at the party were from Texas. It is not known if these men are persons of interest. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol also quietly issued a warrant for a "black pick-up truck" believed to have been used to dump his body, but it is unknown why they are looking for this particular vehicle. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol has unequivocally stated that this was 100% NOT a hit-and-run. They have now also said that this is NOT a murder investigation. The Medical Examiner's report released on Monday, May 13th 2024 stated that Noah died from "Multiple Blunt Force injuries", but list the manner in which this happened as "unknown". His report also detailed extensive injuries to the teen's upper body, including 10 broken ribs, serious skull, neck, and spine fractures, internal bleeding, brain and organ damage, and cuts and grazes all over his body. The autopsy also revealed air in both his cranial cavity and spinal cord, extremely rare conditions only caused by massive head trauma. The family has heard rumors that a golf club from the set in his best friend's truck may have been involved, but nothing else has come of this.
The family has engaged with a private investigator, who did uncover previously unknown information, and gave that to the police. They have also said that there is much more which has not been publicly released and that the search of the phones did uncover good information. Also according to the family, some evidence has been covered-up or lost and that the day after the party, the birthday girl's house and property reeked of bleach. Despite this, his family says good things are going on behind the scenes.
So, with all of the above information, it doesn't seem to be a stretch to say that someone from the party knows something. It is my personal belief that this case will be resolved, but I think three things will have to happen: Time, Pressure and Guilt. At some point in the future, someone from the party will feel guilty, or media pressure will get to them and they will talk. Unfortunately, it may take some time unless the police uncover new evidence sooner. Thank you very much for reading this, but please let me know your thoughts on this case and feel free to ask questions.
Sources:
Podcast (Interview w/ Noah's family): https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jimny-carpenteepisodes/The-Suspicious-Murder-Of-Noah-Presgrove-Part-1-e2dchac
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13421341/Oklahoma-teen-Noah-Presgrove-beaten-death-gang-doctor-claims.html
https://kfor.com/news/local/m-e-releases-more-details-in-19-year-olds-death/
https://www.foxnews.com/us/oklahoma-teen-military-hopefuls-family-cant-imagine-was-murdered-offers-theory-about-last-hours
submitted by Equation56 to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]
This is my first write-up of any kind of unresolved mystery, on any platform, so I apologize for any formatting errors and my storytelling ability. Today I would like to hear your thoughts on the very mysterious death of Noah Presgrove, a 19 year old from Comanche Oklahoma. I have tried to be as thorough as possible with the details, but there is a great deal of conflicting information in the news reports, so I primarily used facts stated by Noah's family in interviews. With that said, let's begin...
Noah Presgrove was a handsome, athletic 19 year old from Comanche Oklahoma, which is located just south of Oklahoma City in the middle of the state. Noah had recently graduated high school in the spring of 2023 and was waiting for his cousin to do the same the following year so they both could enlist in the Marine Corp together and serve our country. By all accounts Noah was a ladies man, standing at 6'2" with an athletic build, in high school he was a 4-sport athlete with American Football and Wrestling among them. His family also says he was adventurous, kind and very much a jokester who would happily play pranks on his family. Last Labor Day weekend, the first weekend of September 2023, Noah was deciding between attending Rocklahoma, an annual 3-day hard rock and metal festival held in Pryor, Oklahoma, with family members or attending a 4-day Labor Day weekend bash/22nd birthday party of a friend. Noah considered going to Rocklahoma, but changed his mind when the family members he'd be attending with said they didn't think it was a good idea for Noah's 16 year old friend to join them there, since they didn't know this friend's family and Rocklahoma is big for consuming alcohol. With that, everyone went their own way to celebrate the holiday weekend.
The Labor Day/Birthday party was for a female friend of Noah's who was turning 22. It had been advertised on Snapchat, even containing the address, so quite a few people were expected to attend. Noah drove himself to the party on Saturday and by all accounts enjoyed himself. He did text his family member who was at Rocklahoma and express regret at not going with them, but it doesn't appear that this put too much of a damper on his attitude at the house party. After spending Saturday at the birthday girl's house, Noah returned home Sunday, probably to freshen up and take care of any outstanding errands or just check in with his grandmother, with whom he lived. Also, Noah's car was leaking from the oil pan, so it sounds like part of the reason to return home was to leave it there so he wouldn't have to worry about it. There are two stories about what happened next: The first is that one of Noah's friends picked him up from his house on Sunday, but took him to a truck stop so he could grab some food from the Sonic there. Oddly, the friend who took him there says he left him there and Noah was then given a ride to the party by the birthday girl, who had to come pick him up. The other story is that his best friend picked him up from his house and took him directly to the party, leaving him in the driveway. Either way, Noah was back at the party on Sunday and according to those present, was very much enjoying himself. There were videos from the party showing Noah and his friends doing "guy things" like the Slap Game, where two people try to slap each other across the face as hard as they can. Just "macho" drunken teenage guy things. There was also video from the party of the guests playing "classic" party games such as beer pong.
With all the drinking going on, some issues were bound to arise. A confrontation happened between Noah and his best friend. Noah had been in a corner with his best friend's girlfriend and apparently they had their backs to everyone else while talking. The best friend took exception to this and an argument ensued. Luckily, it did not become physical and they made up shortly after, but this event with the best friend and his girlfriend is important for later. A second confrontation occurred between Noah and a 16 year old guest that did become physical. The 16 year old accused Noah of hiding his phone, although the reasons why he thought Noah did it have not been stated. During the argument the kid "fishhooked" Noah and Noah returned the favor by biting his finger. It seems like the other people there were able to diffuse the situation and the kid's phone was found underneath another guest who was sleeping on a couch. As the day went on, things continued to become crazier as the people at the party drank more and more. At one point girls at the party started signing their names on Noah's torso and buttocks, writing things such as "Noah's hot!" and drawing a cartoon penis on his rear-end. Noah and the best friend he had the argument with even drove a John Deere "Gator" UTV "Side by Side" around the property, but stopped when Noah scrapped his hand almost flipping it over. Some people even say that Noah was tossed from the UTV, but he was checked out by a nurse at the party and she said he had nothing to worry about. Another event worth mentioning is that the birthday girl seemed to have a crush on Noah. Noah realized this, or was told this, and while talking to her about it called her a "fat, nasty b*tch". I assume that they were close friends and this is just a drunken teen being a drunken teen. An odd thing to mention is that this girl's mother, who also lives in the home, had told Noah's family that she believed Noah wanted her sexually. Whether this is true or not, I have no clue, but it seems a very weird thing to say to the family of a 19 year old your daughter is friends with.
So here's where the mystery comes in. Early Monday morning (September 4th, 2023), after 2:00am, the guests say that Noah was upset about something and that it might have had to do with sleeping in either the birthday girl's or her mother's bed. One of them either heard, or saw, Noah attempting to sleep in their bed and demanded that he go on the floor. This apparently upset Noah so much that he said he needed to go out for a walk, completely drunk, very early in the morning. The guests say Noah was wearing his best friend's shorts (we'll get to his clothes later) and could only find one of his shoes, so he grabbed another shoe lying around the house and took off out the front door. The house had a 1/2 mile long driveway that then went out to US-81, a major North-South highway that runs for 1,200+ miles through the central US. At 3:41am, a friend of Noah's posted a weird Snapchat: a photo of a girl at the party smiling, with the caption "well, Noah's missing". This was the last Snapchat posted by any of the partygoers after days of constant videos and pics. Around 5:00am, a semi-truck driving along US-81 saw something he believed to be a body lying on the shoulder of the road. After driving past, he became concerned and turned around to confirm what he saw. By the time he got back, two other vehicles had stopped in front of the lifeless body of Noah on the shoulder. He was completely naked wearing only 2 mismatched shoes and curled up in a fetal position. He appeared to have blunt force trauma to the back of his head. He had small scrapes on his left shoulder and left hip and his fingertips on both hands were reported as being "shredded", down to the bone. Noah's front top and bottom teeth had also been knocked out and they were found scattered at the scene. There was no blood found at the scene, other than a small amount around Noah's injuries. Very concerning was the fact that there was no writing on his body anywhere. Not on his torso and not on his buttocks. The shorts Noah was wearing were found folded up next him. The people at the party said "They must've been knocked off when he was hit.", which obviously does not make sense.
Around 6:00am, with the police already notified by the people who found Noah, all Snapchat's/social media from people at the party was deleted. His friends and acquaintances at the party say they have no idea what led up to his death and they were unaware of it. The police did not search the house because they said: "Noah wasn't found there.". They did eventually conduct a "mass" interview with all the partygoers. During this interview, Noah's best friend's girlfriend, the one that led to his first confrontation, told police she had never met Noah. She had wiped her phone so completely that even her boyfriend's number had been deleted. When the guests were asked about Noah being naked, the girls said they gave Noah a "shower", but Noah's mental state at the time, whether mildly drunk or completely inebriated, has been an area of dispute among the guests. Some say he was joking around and being himself while being showered, other accounts state that he was barely conscious. Noah's clothing he wore to the party that night has never been located. Police were told that after Noah showered his clothes were dirty, so he wore his friend's shorts. There is a rumor that his best friend's father found Noah's shirt from the party, which was then cut-up and distributed to the party attendees as a "memento". In addition to this event with his shirt, there is also information that his best friend's father had some of Noah's teeth in his pocket. He stated he "accidentally" picked them up from the crime scene. It's worth stating that this particular individual has been on Noah's family's Facebook memorial page for months, arguing with others on there. Just very odd behavior from an adult father who's son's best friend died mysteriously. But, on this same topic, NONE of the partygoers or their families have ever visited Noah's family to express their condolences. Never once.
Since Noah's friends and others at the party said they didn't know what happened, the police had their work cut out for them. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol obtained a "geofence" warrant covering a 1-1/2 mile radius around the party house. What they found was a bit disturbing. Around the time it is believed Noah died, 2 phones were traced as having left the house, heading to the location of his body. After briefly staying there, the two phones returned to the house. People at the party told a private investigator hired by Noah's family that they went out looking for Noah in the UTV/Gator that Noah and his friend had been on earlier. If they had really done this, they would have found him since the phones were at the spot Noah was found. It has not been released who exactly this was. Also revealed when police searched phones was a video of the birthday girl and her sister on their front porch, screaming at each other about Noah leaving the party. It is believed that this could be relevant. The Texas Rangers also became involved, due to the fact that two men at the party were from Texas. It is not known if these men are persons of interest. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol also quietly issued a warrant for a "black pick-up truck" believed to have been used to dump his body, but it is unknown why they are looking for this particular vehicle. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol has unequivocally stated that this was 100% NOT a hit-and-run. They have now also said that this is NOT a murder investigation. The Medical Examiner's report released on Monday, May 13th 2024 stated that Noah died from "Multiple Blunt Force injuries", but list the manner in which this happened as "unknown". His report also detailed extensive injuries to the teen's upper body, including 10 broken ribs, serious skull, neck, and spine fractures, internal bleeding, brain and organ damage, and cuts and grazes all over his body. The autopsy also revealed air in both his cranial cavity and spinal cord, extremely rare conditions only caused by massive head trauma. The family has heard rumors that a golf club from the set in his best friend's truck may have been involved, but nothing else has come of this.
The family has engaged with a private investigator, who did uncover previously unknown information, and gave that to the police. They have also said that there is much more which has not been publicly released and that the search of the phones did uncover good information. Also according to the family, some evidence has been covered-up or lost and that the day after the party, the birthday girl's house and property reeked of bleach. Despite this, his family says good things are going on behind the scenes.
So, with all of the above information, it doesn't seem to be a stretch to say that someone from the party knows something. It is my personal belief that this case will be resolved, but I think three things will have to happen: Time, Pressure and Guilt. At some point in the future, someone from the party will feel guilty, or media pressure will get to them and they will talk. Unfortunately, it may take some time unless the police uncover new evidence sooner. Thank you very much for reading this, but please let me know your thoughts on this case and feel free to ask questions.
Sources:
Podcast (Interview w/ Noah's family): https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jimny-carpenteepisodes/The-Suspicious-Murder-Of-Noah-Presgrove-Part-1-e2dchac
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13421341/Oklahoma-teen-Noah-Presgrove-beaten-death-gang-doctor-claims.html
https://kfor.com/news/local/m-e-releases-more-details-in-19-year-olds-death/
https://www.foxnews.com/us/oklahoma-teen-military-hopefuls-family-cant-imagine-was-murdered-offers-theory-about-last-hours
2024.05.15 19:35 AlfredTheJones A headless body of a young child washes up on a beach, wrapped in a Disney-themed bedsheet and stuffed inside a duffle bag; He remains unidentified to this day. Who was "John Valentine"? (2005)
Hello everyone! As always, thank you for your upvotes and comments on my last post about the Sussex County Jane Doe- I hope that her identity will be given back to her soon.
Today I'd like to highlight a Doe case from a neighbouring state.
TRIGGER WARNING: This case involves a young child (3-5) whose body was found in a gruesome state. There are no graphic images for this case, but there will be descriptions and speculation, so proceed at your own risk.
DISCOVERY
On the 5th of February, a 47-year old nurse, Cecilia Davis, has been walking her dog with a friend at Rockaway Beach (specifically near Beach 112th Street) in New York City, New York, USA, around 4:55 PM. When she was collecting seashells, she noticed a bedsheet with a pattern of letters and Disney characters Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck, which was tangled in seaweed, tattered and mixed in with debris and horseshoe crabs. Intrigued, she came closer, only to discover that a body of a young child was wrapped in the fabric- she called out "This is a child!" to her friend, after which the two women called the authorities. The boy was nicknamed "John Valentine" as the investigators tried to find his identity.
When Davis managed to catch a glimpse of the body from shoulders down when she found the bundle, she assumed that the child was a girl, about a year old, whose skin had the color of "aged yellow foam"- after a proper medical examination, it turned out that it was actually a boy, and aged 3-5 at that. One of the child's knees was bent, with his foot tucked under his body.
The boy was determined to be white and/or Hispanic. He was 3'0" (36 inch / 91 cm), and his weight couldn't be estimated. He had brown, slightly wavy hair, and his eye color was unknown. His foot was size children's 5. Several bones in his torso were broken- I'm not sure, however, if it happened post-mortem or if it could've been a sign of abuse in life (but I have to say, it would be quite likely that he was abused). The body was headless, but it wasn't cut off- it likely detached during the decomposition and got washed away and eaten by marine life. His cause of death is unknown.
The sheet John was found in was called a "blanket", but it would appear that it is actually a crib sheet. The pattern could've been dated back to the 70s, so there's a possibility that it was a hand-me-down or thrifted. It was also mass-produced, so tracking it down was impossible. The body and the sheet were found inside a duffle bag, which was described as "yellow plasticized canvas duffle bag with one side pocket with a snap enclosure. There are multiple grommets for top closure of the duffle bag. No string is present. The bottom of the duffle bag is made of a heavy white canvas. There are 2 approximately 2” wide canvas straps attached to and surrounding the duffle bag. The duffle bag is approximately 30” tall with a top circumference of 34”. The side pocket measures 10 inches wide and 8 inches tall". It was also described as "nautical-style" and was wrapped with duct tape, and might've had a drawstring on top at some point. No known photos of the bag are available, but there are ones of the crib sheet. I'm assuming that the bag must've opened in the water or deteriorated enough to open, revealing the contents.
Due to a lack of leads, police theorized that the boy might've been thrown into the ocean from a boat or overseas and washed up in New York. A local on websleuths theorizes that the child might've been dropped from Atlantic Beach Bridge by Beach 2nd St and taken to Beach 112th St- Apparently, a lot of people drown in the area, and their bodies are taken up to 169th St (Marine Parkway Bridge).
CONCLUSION
Discovering the body of John Valentine has impacted everyone involved. The precinct involved in the investigation collected funds to sponsor the boy's funeral, so that he wouldn't wind up in a Potter's Field. The Children of Hope Foundation also contributed, and now John is resting at the Cemetery of the Holy Rood in Westbury, L.I, in a section called Island of Hope, with (at the time) 80 infants who have been found abandoned or murdered by their mothers at birth. John was one of the older children buried there.
Cecilia Davis, the woman who found John's body at the beach, has passed away from cancer sometime before 2013. According to her sister-in-law, Emilia Arvai, it has impacted Cecilia twice as much, as she wasn't able to have children. She was allegedly never the same after that incident. According to Arvai, Davis would say "How could someone be so cruel to throw a baby away like that when there’s people around the world who can’t have a baby. (...) There’s a million people who would take that baby."
I think that it's pretty much a given that some kind of violence was involved in this case- why else would someone throw away the body of a child? John wasn't an infant or a newborn, he was as old as five, so it wasn't a case of post-partum psychosis or someone giving birth unexpectedly and panicking. The broken bones made my eyebrow raise- if he really was thrown into the water from a high place like a bridge, then I can see bones breaking on impact, but they could've also been a result of physical abuse; We don't really know much about this detail. It's unfortunate that John's head wasn't recovered- it would probably tell us more about him, maybe a bust or a sketch could've been made and circulated and maybe someone would recognize him.
People on websleuths speculated that John might've been Jesus Alvarado Martinez, a four year old who was probably abducted by his father after he killed his mother in Texas in October of 2004. The age and ethnicity fit, as does height, plus Jesus vanished shortly before John was discovered. There is a lot of distance between Texas and New Jersey, but it is technically possible that Jesus' father could get there in the few months between October and February.
There are no dentals available of John (of course), no fingerprints (which might've been erased due to prolonged exposure to water and decomposition) and, suprisingly, no DNA. This case is relatively recent (forensic development-wise)- I'm suprised that no DNA was taken. Perhaps the investigators expected that it will be solved soon? Still, there are good news- thanks to the department's care over the boy, he was buried (and not cremated), and we even know where he is. Digging up the coffin, taking a sample and performing genetic genealogy on it seems to be very possible, and only needing the funds and public interest to re-open the case. I think that if someone like Othram will take the case in, John being identified is a case of "when" and not "if". I have high hopes for young John Valentine getting his name back at some time in the future and, hopefully, that justice will be served to anyone who took his life and discarded his body in the ocean almost 20 years ago.
If you believe you have any info about John Valentine's case, contact the Office of Chief Medical Examiner New York City at (212) 447-2030 (case number Q05-00731).
SORCES:
submitted by AlfredTheJones to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]
Today I'd like to highlight a Doe case from a neighbouring state.
TRIGGER WARNING: This case involves a young child (3-5) whose body was found in a gruesome state. There are no graphic images for this case, but there will be descriptions and speculation, so proceed at your own risk.
DISCOVERY
On the 5th of February, a 47-year old nurse, Cecilia Davis, has been walking her dog with a friend at Rockaway Beach (specifically near Beach 112th Street) in New York City, New York, USA, around 4:55 PM. When she was collecting seashells, she noticed a bedsheet with a pattern of letters and Disney characters Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck, which was tangled in seaweed, tattered and mixed in with debris and horseshoe crabs. Intrigued, she came closer, only to discover that a body of a young child was wrapped in the fabric- she called out "This is a child!" to her friend, after which the two women called the authorities. The boy was nicknamed "John Valentine" as the investigators tried to find his identity.
When Davis managed to catch a glimpse of the body from shoulders down when she found the bundle, she assumed that the child was a girl, about a year old, whose skin had the color of "aged yellow foam"- after a proper medical examination, it turned out that it was actually a boy, and aged 3-5 at that. One of the child's knees was bent, with his foot tucked under his body.
The boy was determined to be white and/or Hispanic. He was 3'0" (36 inch / 91 cm), and his weight couldn't be estimated. He had brown, slightly wavy hair, and his eye color was unknown. His foot was size children's 5. Several bones in his torso were broken- I'm not sure, however, if it happened post-mortem or if it could've been a sign of abuse in life (but I have to say, it would be quite likely that he was abused). The body was headless, but it wasn't cut off- it likely detached during the decomposition and got washed away and eaten by marine life. His cause of death is unknown.
The sheet John was found in was called a "blanket", but it would appear that it is actually a crib sheet. The pattern could've been dated back to the 70s, so there's a possibility that it was a hand-me-down or thrifted. It was also mass-produced, so tracking it down was impossible. The body and the sheet were found inside a duffle bag, which was described as "yellow plasticized canvas duffle bag with one side pocket with a snap enclosure. There are multiple grommets for top closure of the duffle bag. No string is present. The bottom of the duffle bag is made of a heavy white canvas. There are 2 approximately 2” wide canvas straps attached to and surrounding the duffle bag. The duffle bag is approximately 30” tall with a top circumference of 34”. The side pocket measures 10 inches wide and 8 inches tall". It was also described as "nautical-style" and was wrapped with duct tape, and might've had a drawstring on top at some point. No known photos of the bag are available, but there are ones of the crib sheet. I'm assuming that the bag must've opened in the water or deteriorated enough to open, revealing the contents.
Due to a lack of leads, police theorized that the boy might've been thrown into the ocean from a boat or overseas and washed up in New York. A local on websleuths theorizes that the child might've been dropped from Atlantic Beach Bridge by Beach 2nd St and taken to Beach 112th St- Apparently, a lot of people drown in the area, and their bodies are taken up to 169th St (Marine Parkway Bridge).
CONCLUSION
Discovering the body of John Valentine has impacted everyone involved. The precinct involved in the investigation collected funds to sponsor the boy's funeral, so that he wouldn't wind up in a Potter's Field. The Children of Hope Foundation also contributed, and now John is resting at the Cemetery of the Holy Rood in Westbury, L.I, in a section called Island of Hope, with (at the time) 80 infants who have been found abandoned or murdered by their mothers at birth. John was one of the older children buried there.
Cecilia Davis, the woman who found John's body at the beach, has passed away from cancer sometime before 2013. According to her sister-in-law, Emilia Arvai, it has impacted Cecilia twice as much, as she wasn't able to have children. She was allegedly never the same after that incident. According to Arvai, Davis would say "How could someone be so cruel to throw a baby away like that when there’s people around the world who can’t have a baby. (...) There’s a million people who would take that baby."
I think that it's pretty much a given that some kind of violence was involved in this case- why else would someone throw away the body of a child? John wasn't an infant or a newborn, he was as old as five, so it wasn't a case of post-partum psychosis or someone giving birth unexpectedly and panicking. The broken bones made my eyebrow raise- if he really was thrown into the water from a high place like a bridge, then I can see bones breaking on impact, but they could've also been a result of physical abuse; We don't really know much about this detail. It's unfortunate that John's head wasn't recovered- it would probably tell us more about him, maybe a bust or a sketch could've been made and circulated and maybe someone would recognize him.
People on websleuths speculated that John might've been Jesus Alvarado Martinez, a four year old who was probably abducted by his father after he killed his mother in Texas in October of 2004. The age and ethnicity fit, as does height, plus Jesus vanished shortly before John was discovered. There is a lot of distance between Texas and New Jersey, but it is technically possible that Jesus' father could get there in the few months between October and February.
There are no dentals available of John (of course), no fingerprints (which might've been erased due to prolonged exposure to water and decomposition) and, suprisingly, no DNA. This case is relatively recent (forensic development-wise)- I'm suprised that no DNA was taken. Perhaps the investigators expected that it will be solved soon? Still, there are good news- thanks to the department's care over the boy, he was buried (and not cremated), and we even know where he is. Digging up the coffin, taking a sample and performing genetic genealogy on it seems to be very possible, and only needing the funds and public interest to re-open the case. I think that if someone like Othram will take the case in, John being identified is a case of "when" and not "if". I have high hopes for young John Valentine getting his name back at some time in the future and, hopefully, that justice will be served to anyone who took his life and discarded his body in the ocean almost 20 years ago.
If you believe you have any info about John Valentine's case, contact the Office of Chief Medical Examiner New York City at (212) 447-2030 (case number Q05-00731).
SORCES:
- NamUS.gov (includes photos of the crib sheet)
- doenetwork.org
- nydailynews.com (paywalled)
2024.05.15 19:04 InstructionUnique722 How can I 32m mend the relationship between my wife 31f and my mother 63f?
The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
submitted by InstructionUnique722 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
2024.05.15 18:32 dartully Final countdown, help me pick my first typewriter part 2: Smith-Corona Silent ($99) or the Smith-Corona Sterling ($75)
 | Smith Corona Silent submitted by dartully to typewriters [link] [comments] Can you look at these photos and tell me if you notice anything off before i purchase it? It’s ($99) tested. Don’t know if it’s worth the price though. After speaking with you lovely people y’all have told me these typewriters should be $50-$70 (maybe) It’s between this vs smith-corona sterling for $75 however, it’s a 20 minute drive away (antique shop), which isn’t bad if you have a car but for the bus it’s an hour, i may ask my sister if she can take me :) Which one would yall do? Haven’t had any luck finding functioning ones that cost $50-$60. Whichever one the majority suggests is what I’ll do. |
2024.05.15 18:14 Personal_Wishbone644 Narcissists are taking advantage of the tragedy in my city to get their supply, including my golden sister.
Only in this space do I feel safe to comment on this, and be understood. I live in the South of Brazil. My city and my entire state were affected by a huge flood. It's a great tragedy, hundreds of thousands of people left homeless. (I'm fine, the place where I live wasn't badly hit) But one thing has been bothering me. I see many narcissists that I already knew taking advantage of the situation to get their supply. There are many appealing videos and photos. They present themselves as martyrs and as heroes. All their flying monkeys are ecstatic. In practice, they are actually helping to save lives. But I know they are doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. This bothers me a lot. I shouldn't bother, but it does, because I know who they are. Bad people with no empathy. My golden sister is using the resources inherited from my narcissistic mother, which are also mine but we are fighting in court, to show off. This disgusts me. But I shouldn't, if she's doing someone good, I shouldn't.
submitted by Personal_Wishbone644 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 18:01 jisoosfavtree Mkc NTA ki
Our english exam was supposed to be at 3 and we got the sheets at 3:03 🤡???
Then the whole ficaso of signing in running hand with date, ma baap ka naam, kutte ka naam, application number, roll number question sheet number, time likho photo chipkao sign karo DO baar, ma baap ka naam likho, invigilator aaye toh 2-3 check kare sab aram se 10–15 min gaye phir paper lene ke liye toh aise koode jaise bandar kele ke liye bhai FUCK NTA
School ka toilet kharab, 3 mai shit bhari huyi aur 1 ki kundi gayab, ab insaan use bhi na kar paaye.
Normalisation AND grace marks hone chahiye 2 separate papers aur itti bhaadhi administration ke liye.
submitted by jisoosfavtree to CUETards [link] [comments]
Then the whole ficaso of signing in running hand with date, ma baap ka naam, kutte ka naam, application number, roll number question sheet number, time likho photo chipkao sign karo DO baar, ma baap ka naam likho, invigilator aaye toh 2-3 check kare sab aram se 10–15 min gaye phir paper lene ke liye toh aise koode jaise bandar kele ke liye bhai FUCK NTA
School ka toilet kharab, 3 mai shit bhari huyi aur 1 ki kundi gayab, ab insaan use bhi na kar paaye.
Normalisation AND grace marks hone chahiye 2 separate papers aur itti bhaadhi administration ke liye.
2024.05.15 17:56 icedadx44 I (M33) feel unloved by my wife (31F) how do I overcome this feeling?
I have early onset COPD. I live in rural Nebraska, one of my triggers for my lungs is grain dust. I asked my wife to leave and she said no she wouldn't leave because she desires a life where ournkids grow up woth family ( S8, D7).
I learned about my COPD shortly after my son's birth and switched careers in part became of that (welder to teacher). WThe same doctor visit the doctor told me I should also look into living somewhere else due to accute allergies to grain dust and the nature of COPD. Each time I have a flair up my lungs get slightly more damaged, making the next flair up more often and more obstructive.
We lived in rural Kansas at the time. We finally moved to a different farm community in Kansas, despite my pleas to move somewhere good for me, in 21 due to her desire to go back to school. She failed out of school and we ended up having to leave our house we thought we were going to buy and ended up moving close to her sister in Nebraska. Again I asked to find somewhere else where it would be better for my lungs, but understood that we were in a dire situation and needed to find a home. We moved again in the same home and used the last of our savings to get out of our old lease and I to our new one beciae she didn't like our apartment and wanted to move into a duplex that opened up.
We are maxed out money wise, there is no hope of improvement here in that regards. She says the kids are happy because they have friends and she doesn't want to uproot them again. I am currently in the middle of a flair up... I feel like there are daggers in my chest and I asked her again if we could go and she said no... so I got angry and told her I was going wothout her . We separated, I got angry, she didn't want me and chose her familyover me. I started looking for distractions joined all kinds of Facebook pages and ended up liking a photo of another woman and commented on her eyes. My wife seen these and broke down. I went out to a bar with a friend because we never go on dates and I wanted to go out. My wife asked of I cheated, I did not. We argued back and forth, I cried for days. She doesn't think moving would help, she said she is scared we would end up homeless despite the relocation adding money to our pockets.
All of my family told me I'm being selfish, all of her family telling her I'm wrong. While I cry because all of thisnis happening because it hurts to breath and it's going to keep getting worse and now my choices are to lose my kids and try and find somewhere that isn't literally sucking the life from me or stay with a woman that I love but feel doesn't love me... or at least not enough to choose me. I asked to end the separation because I'm afraid I will end up killing myself if I have to live wothout them. Therapy hasn't helped, every argument and disagreement we have stems from this fear that she doesn't really love me that I'm just the safe choice. But I feel stuck because I will lose my whole world if I try to go for me. So I'm sitting here feeling depressed feeling like shit because my chest burns and she still gets everything she wants and I'm happy she is happy but idk how I could ever believe her when she tells me she loves me. Idk how I could ever believe her when she says I'm her world when I KNOW every chance she has had to shoot me over ANYONE else has always to make me the second option. But to leave is to leave everyone and everything and be a distance parent .
submitted by icedadx44 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I learned about my COPD shortly after my son's birth and switched careers in part became of that (welder to teacher). WThe same doctor visit the doctor told me I should also look into living somewhere else due to accute allergies to grain dust and the nature of COPD. Each time I have a flair up my lungs get slightly more damaged, making the next flair up more often and more obstructive.
We lived in rural Kansas at the time. We finally moved to a different farm community in Kansas, despite my pleas to move somewhere good for me, in 21 due to her desire to go back to school. She failed out of school and we ended up having to leave our house we thought we were going to buy and ended up moving close to her sister in Nebraska. Again I asked to find somewhere else where it would be better for my lungs, but understood that we were in a dire situation and needed to find a home. We moved again in the same home and used the last of our savings to get out of our old lease and I to our new one beciae she didn't like our apartment and wanted to move into a duplex that opened up.
We are maxed out money wise, there is no hope of improvement here in that regards. She says the kids are happy because they have friends and she doesn't want to uproot them again. I am currently in the middle of a flair up... I feel like there are daggers in my chest and I asked her again if we could go and she said no... so I got angry and told her I was going wothout her . We separated, I got angry, she didn't want me and chose her familyover me. I started looking for distractions joined all kinds of Facebook pages and ended up liking a photo of another woman and commented on her eyes. My wife seen these and broke down. I went out to a bar with a friend because we never go on dates and I wanted to go out. My wife asked of I cheated, I did not. We argued back and forth, I cried for days. She doesn't think moving would help, she said she is scared we would end up homeless despite the relocation adding money to our pockets.
All of my family told me I'm being selfish, all of her family telling her I'm wrong. While I cry because all of thisnis happening because it hurts to breath and it's going to keep getting worse and now my choices are to lose my kids and try and find somewhere that isn't literally sucking the life from me or stay with a woman that I love but feel doesn't love me... or at least not enough to choose me. I asked to end the separation because I'm afraid I will end up killing myself if I have to live wothout them. Therapy hasn't helped, every argument and disagreement we have stems from this fear that she doesn't really love me that I'm just the safe choice. But I feel stuck because I will lose my whole world if I try to go for me. So I'm sitting here feeling depressed feeling like shit because my chest burns and she still gets everything she wants and I'm happy she is happy but idk how I could ever believe her when she tells me she loves me. Idk how I could ever believe her when she says I'm her world when I KNOW every chance she has had to shoot me over ANYONE else has always to make me the second option. But to leave is to leave everyone and everything and be a distance parent .
2024.05.15 17:52 SnooJokes7657 When did Jeremy join the group?
I'm confused about when/why Jeremy Madix (Ariana's brother) started being so involved with the group. Scheana has posted photos of Jeremy and his fiance several times, there were photos of him hugging Ariana, and now Jax is hosting his birthday party. Was he always this close with them, or is this a result of him falling out with his sister?
ETA… photo of Jax promoting Jeremy’s party in the comments.
submitted by SnooJokes7657 to Vanderpumpaholics [link] [comments]
ETA… photo of Jax promoting Jeremy’s party in the comments.
2024.05.15 17:29 Wermking Saving Data from an iPhone in Security Lockout
My sister butt dialed her phone's passcode on multiple occasions. I guess it happened one too many times, and now her phone is on Security lock out.
We know the 6-digit number passcode for her phone, as well as the password to her apple ID, but when we went to the Apple store yesterday, they said there was nothing that they could do and that we needed to erase and reformat the phone.
Is this true????
We don't want to wipe the phone's data, because we want to recover the photos that were on her phone.
I understand how this kind of lock out would protect your data if your phone was stolen, but it's her phone. We have all of the passwords and can verify her iD! I don't understand how a situation like this wouldn't be accounted for.
submitted by Wermking to iphone [link] [comments]
We know the 6-digit number passcode for her phone, as well as the password to her apple ID, but when we went to the Apple store yesterday, they said there was nothing that they could do and that we needed to erase and reformat the phone.
Is this true????
We don't want to wipe the phone's data, because we want to recover the photos that were on her phone.
I understand how this kind of lock out would protect your data if your phone was stolen, but it's her phone. We have all of the passwords and can verify her iD! I don't understand how a situation like this wouldn't be accounted for.
2024.05.15 17:20 princesssdemon666 Help: messy situation
Its a little crazy situation but I’m gonna try my best to explain. (I’m a girl 19 btw)
8 years ago I met 2 sisters, lets call them Bianca and Sarah, became best friends with them and then even started dating Sarah, that didn’t workout but we remained best friends even when they left school 2 years after we met. Some time later Sarah got a boyfriend and started talking to me less and less, over timespan of a few years she came back like 3 times but abandoned me again and again. In this time I actually also became friends with her boyfriend, lets call him Andrew. Btw, my friendship with Bianca has always stayed the same. Now about like 2 years back I was actually friends again with Sarah, and then Sarah and Andrew invited me to spend the weekend at their house (they’re living together at that point btw). After this weekend they’re calling me their best friend and being so sweet and talking to me a lot etc. After that, me, Bianca, Sarah and Andrew hungout multiple times as a fun friendgroup and I absolutely loved it. But then.. you guessed it Sarah slowly stopped talking to me again. Eventually I just wanted to know why and she just said she doesn’t like me.. very confusing cuz why did you call me your best friend a year before that but okay. So now Sarah and me aren’t friends anymore. But I’m still friends with Andrew, and best friends with Bianca. But now the grouphangouts aren’t happening anymore, and Bianca & Andrew don’t want to hangout with me in a group because they don’t want to exclude Sarah, but I’m sad bc I loved our group hangouts and they’re both my friends yk 🥹. Now only they hangout as a group which okay ig they’re sisters and Andrew is Sarah’s bf🤷🏽♀️🥹🥲. But I’m also not allowed in Bianca’s house when Sarah is there, for example I wanted to spend new year’s with her but wasn’t allowed bc of Sarah.
Now a few months back Bianca got a boyfriend, and I’m glad her behavior towards me hasn’t changed at all bc of him so that’s not a problem. But now he gets invited to the grouphangouts.. and ofc I’m fine with them hanging out. But the thing that bothers me is that I’m explicitly left out when they have a group hangout. They all wanna hangout with me but not as a group bc Sarah doesn’t like me. And they don’t wanna hangout as a group without her bc they don’t wanna exclude her.. So I’m basically only allowed to hangout with all of them separately while they hangout together all the time and post photos with captions like “my fav people!” “My gang!” And I’m basically banished from any party etc if Sarah happens to be attending 😭.
I would get it if I did something bad to Sarah but it’s all only cuz she simply doesn’t like me😭😭 it feels so unfair and it honestly hurts 🥲 in my opinion i think she needs to get over herself like it’s her problem right?? And idk why everyone’s going along with what she wants 🥲, they say they don’t wanna hurt her feelings but come on?? Bianca’s basically my sister after being best friends for 8 years, do my feelings not matter?? I’ve brought this up multiple times and that it hurts me but nothing ever changes 🥲
Opinions? Advice? Please🙏🏼🥲
submitted by princesssdemon666 to friendship [link] [comments]
8 years ago I met 2 sisters, lets call them Bianca and Sarah, became best friends with them and then even started dating Sarah, that didn’t workout but we remained best friends even when they left school 2 years after we met. Some time later Sarah got a boyfriend and started talking to me less and less, over timespan of a few years she came back like 3 times but abandoned me again and again. In this time I actually also became friends with her boyfriend, lets call him Andrew. Btw, my friendship with Bianca has always stayed the same. Now about like 2 years back I was actually friends again with Sarah, and then Sarah and Andrew invited me to spend the weekend at their house (they’re living together at that point btw). After this weekend they’re calling me their best friend and being so sweet and talking to me a lot etc. After that, me, Bianca, Sarah and Andrew hungout multiple times as a fun friendgroup and I absolutely loved it. But then.. you guessed it Sarah slowly stopped talking to me again. Eventually I just wanted to know why and she just said she doesn’t like me.. very confusing cuz why did you call me your best friend a year before that but okay. So now Sarah and me aren’t friends anymore. But I’m still friends with Andrew, and best friends with Bianca. But now the grouphangouts aren’t happening anymore, and Bianca & Andrew don’t want to hangout with me in a group because they don’t want to exclude Sarah, but I’m sad bc I loved our group hangouts and they’re both my friends yk 🥹. Now only they hangout as a group which okay ig they’re sisters and Andrew is Sarah’s bf🤷🏽♀️🥹🥲. But I’m also not allowed in Bianca’s house when Sarah is there, for example I wanted to spend new year’s with her but wasn’t allowed bc of Sarah.
Now a few months back Bianca got a boyfriend, and I’m glad her behavior towards me hasn’t changed at all bc of him so that’s not a problem. But now he gets invited to the grouphangouts.. and ofc I’m fine with them hanging out. But the thing that bothers me is that I’m explicitly left out when they have a group hangout. They all wanna hangout with me but not as a group bc Sarah doesn’t like me. And they don’t wanna hangout as a group without her bc they don’t wanna exclude her.. So I’m basically only allowed to hangout with all of them separately while they hangout together all the time and post photos with captions like “my fav people!” “My gang!” And I’m basically banished from any party etc if Sarah happens to be attending 😭.
I would get it if I did something bad to Sarah but it’s all only cuz she simply doesn’t like me😭😭 it feels so unfair and it honestly hurts 🥲 in my opinion i think she needs to get over herself like it’s her problem right?? And idk why everyone’s going along with what she wants 🥲, they say they don’t wanna hurt her feelings but come on?? Bianca’s basically my sister after being best friends for 8 years, do my feelings not matter?? I’ve brought this up multiple times and that it hurts me but nothing ever changes 🥲
Opinions? Advice? Please🙏🏼🥲
2024.05.15 17:17 princesssdemon666 Help: messy situation
Its a little crazy situation but I’m gonna try my best to explain. (I’m a girl 19 btw)
8 years ago I met 2 sisters, lets call them Bianca and Sarah, became best friends with them and then even started dating Sarah, that didn’t workout but we remained best friends even when they left school 2 years after we met. Some time later Sarah got a boyfriend and started talking to me less and less, over timespan of a few years she came back like 3 times but abandoned me again and again. In this time I actually also became friends with her boyfriend, lets call him Andrew. Btw, my friendship with Bianca has always stayed the same. Now about like 2 years back I was actually friends again with Sarah, and then Sarah and Andrew invited me to spend the weekend at their house (they’re living together at that point btw). After this weekend they’re calling me their best friend and being so sweet and talking to me a lot etc. After that, me, Bianca, Sarah and Andrew hungout multiple times as a fun friendgroup and I absolutely loved it. But then.. you guessed it Sarah slowly stopped talking to me again. Eventually I just wanted to know why and she just said she doesn’t like me.. very confusing cuz why did you call me your best friend a year before that but okay. So now Sarah and me aren’t friends anymore. But I’m still friends with Andrew, and best friends with Bianca. But now the grouphangouts aren’t happening anymore, and Bianca & Andrew don’t want to hangout with me in a group because they don’t want to exclude Sarah, but I’m sad bc I loved our group hangouts and they’re both my friends yk 🥹. Now only they hangout as a group which okay ig they’re sisters and Andrew is Sarah’s bf🤷🏽♀️🥹🥲. But I’m also not allowed in Bianca’s house when Sarah is there, for example I wanted to spend new year’s with her but wasn’t allowed bc of Sarah.
Now a few months back Bianca got a boyfriend, and I’m glad her behavior towards me hasn’t changed at all bc of him so that’s not a problem. But now he gets invited to the grouphangouts.. and ofc I’m fine with them hanging out. But the thing that bothers me is that I’m explicitly left out when they have a group hangout. They all wanna hangout with me but not as a group bc Sarah doesn’t like me. And they don’t wanna hangout as a group without her bc they don’t wanna exclude her.. So I’m basically only allowed to hangout with all of them separately while they hangout together all the time and post photos with captions like “my fav people!” “My gang!” And I’m basically banished from any party etc if Sarah happens to be attending 😭.
I would get it if I did something bad to Sarah but it’s all only cuz she simply doesn’t like me😭😭 it feels so unfair and it honestly hurts 🥲 in my opinion i think she needs to get over herself like it’s her problem right?? And idk why everyone’s going along with what she wants 🥲, they say they don’t wanna hurt her feelings but come on?? Bianca’s basically my sister after being best friends for 8 years, do my feelings not matter?? I’ve brought this up multiple times and told them I’m hurt by it but nothing ever changes 🥲
Opinions? Advice? Please🙏🏼🥲
submitted by princesssdemon666 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
8 years ago I met 2 sisters, lets call them Bianca and Sarah, became best friends with them and then even started dating Sarah, that didn’t workout but we remained best friends even when they left school 2 years after we met. Some time later Sarah got a boyfriend and started talking to me less and less, over timespan of a few years she came back like 3 times but abandoned me again and again. In this time I actually also became friends with her boyfriend, lets call him Andrew. Btw, my friendship with Bianca has always stayed the same. Now about like 2 years back I was actually friends again with Sarah, and then Sarah and Andrew invited me to spend the weekend at their house (they’re living together at that point btw). After this weekend they’re calling me their best friend and being so sweet and talking to me a lot etc. After that, me, Bianca, Sarah and Andrew hungout multiple times as a fun friendgroup and I absolutely loved it. But then.. you guessed it Sarah slowly stopped talking to me again. Eventually I just wanted to know why and she just said she doesn’t like me.. very confusing cuz why did you call me your best friend a year before that but okay. So now Sarah and me aren’t friends anymore. But I’m still friends with Andrew, and best friends with Bianca. But now the grouphangouts aren’t happening anymore, and Bianca & Andrew don’t want to hangout with me in a group because they don’t want to exclude Sarah, but I’m sad bc I loved our group hangouts and they’re both my friends yk 🥹. Now only they hangout as a group which okay ig they’re sisters and Andrew is Sarah’s bf🤷🏽♀️🥹🥲. But I’m also not allowed in Bianca’s house when Sarah is there, for example I wanted to spend new year’s with her but wasn’t allowed bc of Sarah.
Now a few months back Bianca got a boyfriend, and I’m glad her behavior towards me hasn’t changed at all bc of him so that’s not a problem. But now he gets invited to the grouphangouts.. and ofc I’m fine with them hanging out. But the thing that bothers me is that I’m explicitly left out when they have a group hangout. They all wanna hangout with me but not as a group bc Sarah doesn’t like me. And they don’t wanna hangout as a group without her bc they don’t wanna exclude her.. So I’m basically only allowed to hangout with all of them separately while they hangout together all the time and post photos with captions like “my fav people!” “My gang!” And I’m basically banished from any party etc if Sarah happens to be attending 😭.
I would get it if I did something bad to Sarah but it’s all only cuz she simply doesn’t like me😭😭 it feels so unfair and it honestly hurts 🥲 in my opinion i think she needs to get over herself like it’s her problem right?? And idk why everyone’s going along with what she wants 🥲, they say they don’t wanna hurt her feelings but come on?? Bianca’s basically my sister after being best friends for 8 years, do my feelings not matter?? I’ve brought this up multiple times and told them I’m hurt by it but nothing ever changes 🥲
Opinions? Advice? Please🙏🏼🥲
2024.05.15 17:17 One_Cartographer9178 Rape by older brother for 7 years
So I was raped by my older brother who is 3 years older than me and he would rape me every Sunday and 2 weeks per months when ours parents wouldn’t be there there’s was a lot of manipulation among the single act of rape there’s was other thing like physical abuse , blackmail , would manipulate me to expose photos of me to his friends ,he would force me to smoke , drink alcohol , do sexual thing without the act itself , would force me to clean the whole mess he would make after raping me , would force me to do a lot of more things that I can’t really remember but like kissing, touching me , forcing to touch him , etc there’s one time when he was going to make me pregnant literally by him fault but hopefully this time I was more grown up and managed narrowly to avoid the thing To be clear It was when I was 8 that everyhting start and finish when I was 15 the thing is dépiste the absolutely HELL he has make me lived , he has ruined my childhood entirely , my life cause now I have CPTSD , depression and beside Bpd and now my life is hell because of that but I remember one time he has gone trough my phone and the morning when I wake up I found a note of him saying how sorry he was for everyhting that he was just a kid wanting to know his body and that he want the best for me and everything But the thing is despit everything I have a great relathionship with him now we laugh so much and everyhting just like regular sister and brother but I don’t really understand how I can have empathy , compassion and just be normal with him after everything he has done he has literally ruin my life I had to quit school and everyhting so it’s been so tough but I don’t understand how can I manage to be normal with him is it normal ? I just need explanation
submitted by One_Cartographer9178 to rapecounseling [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:09 Aggressively_cute12 AmITheAHole for feeling I should be invited to my bf’s graduation?
AITAH for expecting to be invited to my boyfriend’s graduation ceremony. I (26F) have been my boyfriend’s (26M) biggest supporter during his schooling. My boyfriend decided to go to a vocational school and go into a medical field. He finally found his place and what he loves to do, something not many people can say they have. Although he is finished with school and started working a full time job his graduation ceremony is coming up. At first he did not want to go to the ceremony and walk because he is already working and during big events his parents always end up fighting and making the day about them. I explained that I believe it’s a big accomplishment to finish school and get a degree no matter what type. He worked so hard. Last min he decided that he would register to walk in the ceremony this weekend. He got his cap and gown and it made me so excited. However, he only gets 4 tickets to the ceremony. I assumed I would be a person to have one of those 4 tickets. Well sadly no… He said his parents, sister, and grandma would be taking the tickets and that I could probably wait outside the ceremony. That made me so upset I cried. He said that the only reason he is walking in the ceremony is bc of me… so why am I not given a ticket to witness it?! The reason it made me so upset is that I fully supported him throughout his 2.5 years of school. I would spend my weekends studying with him, help organize his work, help him make flash cards and helped with two of his projects, and always encouraged him whenever he felt like it was getting difficult. I never doubted him and his abilities. I was always celebrating his achievements of tests and all that. His parents never really did that. They always questioned his decision of going to school and study in that area. They would tell him to just take over the family business. But that’s not what he wants at all. His grandmother is only going for the photo opp. She has been traveling non stop for 2monts but as soon as she heard about a ceremony she booked a flight back and said she needed pictures. She also didn’t agree with his career choice. Is it selfish of me to be upset and feel like I deserve to be at his graduation?
submitted by Aggressively_cute12 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:07 Minute-Strength-2309 Newborn compared to SD
Recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with blonde hair and bright features. I(33F) have blonde hair and bright features. My husband (35M) has dark features as do his 2 kids from a previous marriage. His ex wife also has the same dark features. Recently shared photos of our baby to family and they all keep saying they think she looks a lot like her half sister. I don’t see it. What truly bothers me is that step daughter is always saying she looks so much like her mother. Family says the same that my SD looks so much more like her mother. I am bothered that my baby is being compared to someone who looks so much like another woman. My baby and I are the only ones in this blended family with the blonde features. And the ex wife is just wretched, mostly her personality. Bitter ex wife/baby mother vibes from that one. I know my SD and baby share dna but it bothers me to high hell that she is compared to my SD that stands on the fact that she’s a spitting image of her mother.
submitted by Minute-Strength-2309 to stepparents [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:03 subredditsummarybot Your weekly /r/hardstyle roundup for the week of May 08 - May 14, 2024
Wednesday, May 08 - Tuesday, May 14, 2024
submitted by subredditsummarybot to hardstyle [link] [comments]
Top New Tracks
Top Non-memes
| score | comments | title & link |
|---|---|---|
| 435 | 52 comments | [Video] Hakken makes crowd go crazy at Eurovision |
| 389 | 41 comments | [Discussion] The Dutch eurovision song Europapa by Joost Klein is #25 in the Global Top 50 on spotify. Absolutely wild having a song with a gabber segment in the worldwide charts |
| 357 | 73 comments | [Announcement] New rule: No AI generated music |
| 226 | 49 comments | [Discussion] Defqon.1 Mainstage |
| 212 | 35 comments | [Photo] Rooler with unmasked GPF |
Top memes
| score | comments | title & link |
|---|---|---|
| 176 | 47 comments | [Meme] Average Rawstyle Experience 2024 |
| 46 | 13 comments | [Meme] Try not to change profile picture |
| 20 | 0 comments | [Meme] Literally me yesterday |
Most Commented
| score | comments | title & link |
|---|---|---|
| 58 | 99 comments | [Question] Favourite phuture noize track/s? |
| 55 | 94 comments | [Discussion] Who are you trusting with making a great anthem? |
| 49 | 78 comments | [Discussion] What is your favourite euphoric song? |
2024.05.15 16:40 Fixing_Gaming [LFA] Lorelei the ghoul thaumaturge
![[LFA] Lorelei the ghoul thaumaturge](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/iumMUFEv0fWEgHGlYZw8Hor6zOYjLGX2FJwxC_zaXns.jpg "[LFA] Lorelei the ghoul thaumaturge") | Lorelei is my upcoming character for a homebrew Pathfinder 2e game. She is a thaumaturge, a class centered around using obscure arcane implements, folklore, and all manner of trinkets and knick knacks to find and exploit the weakness of their enemies. submitted by Fixing_Gaming to characterdrawing [link] [comments] She is a ghoul, a variety of undead defined by their insatiable hunger for the flesh of the dead. They appear like bald, blueish elves with razor sharp teeth and long lashing tongues. She is also a changeling, a descendent of a hag. Visibly this manifests as her right eye appearing scarlet red in stark contract to the deep almost black brown of her left. Day to day, she disguises herself as an elf, caking her skin in a chalky white makeup to cover the sickly blue and wearing a wig in the classic Joan of Arc style bob and bangs. She always wears heavy amounts of vanilla perfume to cover the stench of death she exudes and always speaks slowly and carefully as not to part her lips to far and reveal her horrific teeth. She wears a fine hide armor with lots of pouches and pockets for her esoterica. She wields a Tricky Pick in one hand, a weapon with blade on a hinge that allows it to deal bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage, and in the other holds a string of rosary like prayer beads that end in charm made of one of her mothers teeth. Some reference photos were included for how I imagine she looks, as well as her weapon. Lore: In nights long passed, ghouls served as slaves to their vampiric progenitors. “Ghoul fever” being a state induced upon a living mortal when fed the blood of a vampire. According to legend however, Inomod was the first ghoul to be birthed rather than created, born from a hag who took a ghoul from its vampiric master as payment for a debt owed. Eventually the child, Inomod, descended to the hells and took her seat as demon lord where she birthed three daughters, the first blood hags– alleged to be the ancestors of the three houses, Carpathia, Rotlaich, and Bowsend– and a new breed of free ghoul. Lorelei was born under the Mother Superior of house Carpathia, being one of her 32 daughters. The Mother Superior holding within her a portion of the divine seed of Inomod. According to ancient rite, when the Mother Superior of a house passes on, her body must be devoured in whole by her daughters so they may take upon themselves a portion of her divinity. Though this power mustn’t remain divided, these daughters must flee into the night and over days, weeks, months, or years they must hunt and kill, and consume one another until only one remains with the totality of the Mothers power so that only the strongest may ascend and continue their bloodline. Lorelei however is not the strongest of her sisters, nor is she the fastest, smartest, or most adept in the arcane. What she is, is a dishonorable craven and a cheater. She is cunning and always willing to exploit whatever weakness she can to gain the upper hand. TL;DR: A ghoul thaumaturge who must kill and eat her sisters to become a demigod and continue her bloodline. |
2024.05.15 16:18 throwawaypbjelly AITAH for calling off the wedding?
I have been through so much and I am exhausted.
Since November of last year, I have been dealing with a conflict with my in-laws:
submitted by throwawaypbjelly to AITAH [link] [comments]
Since November of last year, I have been dealing with a conflict with my in-laws:
- A group picture of my parents, my fiancé’s parents, my fiancé, and I was posted by my MIL on a Facebook story post. Let’s call my fiancé, Jerry (fake name). There was a caption on the photo and the caption only covered my face and my parents. When pointed out, Jerry blamed it on her tech incompetence.
- Following this incident above, an argument ensues between me and Jerry (I talked about my feelings regarding his family, how I was treated, etc.) to the point that he started a group chat on Facebook messenger the next day out of anger. He threw me, his sister, and his mom into the group to "sort this out" and threw me under the bus. I quickly left the group.
- I went to my parent’s house to clear my head for a few days and told Jerry that I need to rethink this relationship. He had an emotional breakdown because of this.
- This incident snowballed with questions from his family as they were “blindsided”. I mentioned all the things said and done by his mom over the past 5 years (when I first met his mother, she said that our relationship would not work out due to cultural differences and few other offensive comments in the years ahead)
- I was met with "I am sorry if I offended you". His mother sent another attempt at an apology that was a potential apology. However, I could not respond as I was blocked. Then a letter was sent to me from her that was a rug sweep "I am sorry that this has all happened. Can't we move past this".
- In December of last year, I informed Jerry that I needed to heal from everything and for that, I do not wish to go with him on Christmas. Every year, his family meet on Christmas. I asked him if he would like to spend it with me. If not, that is totally okay. I also said that he should go because I knew I would be blamed for it. Well, I was blamed for it. I was called manipulative and on a power trip.
- His family further tells questioned him for spending Christmas with me because according to them, I don’t celebrate Christmas. He’s white and I am not. I stated to him that his family does not go to Church nor are they practicing Christians. I celebrate Christmas (gift exchanges and dinners) the same way as they do. They did not apologize for their comment.
- From December to March, my fiancé has had numerous conversations with his father and mother to resolve the conflict which now involved the entire family. During this span of time and in their absence, I started to heal and focused on my relationship with my fiancé.
- Then come March; his father was still stuck in his anger. Did not reflect for the last three months and informed my fiancé that they are not coming to our wedding. I admit that I was so angry that I threatened to divorce him should they not come to our wedding and that he continues a relationship with them. I apologized for what I said afterwards.
- We were about to meet up in person to resolve this however, his father decided to send a group text in advance of our meet up and informed us that he is not interested in extending an olive branch. He was bullying us into submission (please see my past posts), blamed me for how I handled things and boldly stated that if I wasn’t his son’s fiancé, he would have nothing to do with me. When called out for his rude texts, his father stated that he needed to get it off his chest to heal.
- For days after the texts, Jerry stood up for me and fought with his dad. Eventually, his dad agreed to come to town to “talk”. I was so incredibly hurt from his dad’s actions and I bluntly stated to Jerry that if he continues to berate me in person when we meet up, I will get up and leave the conversation. Jerry immediately got upset, raised his voice at me and left the apartment. I had no idea that he got up to go kill himself, I thought he just left to cool off like he usually does. I later learned that he felt unsupported by me.
- Couple days later; Jerry had another meltdown. His parents and all his friends drove down to meet with him to provide support. Before they reached, I got to his place early and his friend was there. Jerry had too much to drink and was at his lowest point. I tried to calm him down, but he was angry to the point that I left the apartment in tears. He humiliated me when he yelled at me in front of his friend. Then at the end of the night, I brought up the issues with his parents to try to resolve. I was later told that I made it about me when I confronted his parents.
- Weeks later; his parents met up with Jerry and my parents for their wedding clothing shopping. I decided not to show up.
- Jerry and I moved into our new place, with furniture shipped in and it needed to be put together. His dad offered to drive down to help Jerry put the furniture together. I appreciated the fact that the furniture was put together. Jerry was practically upset that I am not recognizing his dad’s efforts when I said it does not erase everything he has done. His father did not even apologize to me once and I should be okay because of the furniture? An argument ensues and it escalated to a point where I could not take it anymore and I went to take my life. Even at my lowest point, Jerry still got mad at me.
- And now he is profusely apologizing for betraying me and hurting me. I feel that I don’t even know who he is anymore.
2024.05.15 15:34 lbabinz [PSN] Digital PlayStation Game Sale
PlayStation Indies Sale
submitted by lbabinz to VideoGameDealsCanada [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 15:20 Gearwrenchgal Dozer (13.5) Crossed the rainbow bridge a month ago
 | This boy was my best friend and heart dog. I miss him so much more than words will explain. submitted by Gearwrenchgal to OldManDog [link] [comments] In the second photo are his daughter Dixie (7) and her ‘sister’ Dr. Pupi (4). Lately Dixie has been seeming more and more depressed (aren’t we all). If anyone has tips on helping ease her through the grief process I’d appreciate it. We go for hikes multiple times a week and they each get one on one time as all my pups did. I know grief is different for all. My heart aches and I’m sure theirs do too. Any advice is helpful. Ty for reading. |
2024.05.15 15:16 WeakState5798 AITAH for not believing that my husband did not cheat?
MAIN ISSUE IS GIVEN WITH "‼️‼️" BELOW AND THE FIRST CHEATING EVENT IS GIVEN BELOW IN 🚩🚩🚩
THIS IS JUST BACKGROUND Hi guys, I am going through a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both Pakistani and live in the Gulf. We had our paper marriage, aka Nikkah, in 2017 and got married, i.e., moved into his house, in 2019. We've known each other since 2016, and this was a love marriage. My husband went against his parents' wishes to get married to me, whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices I make.
During COVID, I moved into my parents' house because of my two younger brothers, 15 and 12 at that time, as my parents got stuck in our home country for six months. My husband would spend four days with me and four days with his parents, i.e., peak COVID lockdown in 2020. Since I've known my husband, this is the first time I accidentally found out his phone password, whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in the past.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Anyways, I opened up his Snapchat without any malicious intent to check out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone, and Snapchat showed memories of last year of the same date. It was with some Filipinos (nothing against them, but where I live, they are usually considered as sex workers). I went and checked the old photos, and I saw that he had pictures with a lot of random women and specifically with his ex-girlfriend in the year 2018. They both had taken a lot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in the car, again very close to each other in his arms. I also found out he was asking Filipino their rates for sex work,and he also met one of them in his car and went to meet one in a mall during peak COVID lockdown.
Anyways, I didn't plan to talk to him about it because I was newly wed and didn't want to face consequences, and I thought he might stop on his own. Fast forward a few months later, my parents came back safely, and I moved back into my husband's house with his parents, and this is the time when I first actually started living with them, and within a few weeks, my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when I refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often.
Anyways, things started escalating a lot, and my husband and I were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. Then one day, we had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, I accidentally said out about his affairs. So we talked about it, and he said that he met his ex-girlfriend just like a friend as she came back from her home country after a long time, and he was asking for rates of Filipinos for his single friend. When I asked about what did you do with the Filipino you picked up in the car, he said that they just ate shawarmas by the seaside. I was naive and I bought into his narrative, even though I agreed to believe in his story,the uneasy feeling never left to the point where I refuse to have a child with him as I don't think I have a secure future with him.
Due to his parents bickering all the time, I finally snapped back at them, and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out of the house, and my husband and I both went no contact for one whole year as I demanded a separate house even if I have to face hunger. When we did finally talk again, he convinced me that this won't happen again from his parents' side, and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife, i.e., fulfilling my basic needs, maintaining peace, and protecting.
During this whole time, my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. Anyways, I moved back in with him at the end of 2021, and he did not stay true to his word. He still picks out fights, his parents still shout, scream at me occasionally, and he only gives me a bare minimum monthly allowance, which is not enough for me, and I still have to end up asking my father for money. Please keep in mind I am a university student, and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees, and essential needs, and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university.
Anyways, the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till the end of 2023, we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in a bad mood all the time. I had to beg him crying to change his behavior towards me and to be nicer to me when talks, or else I will have no other option than to leave him. He did become nicer for three months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by a huge crisis due to his younger brother's fault. That's when he became polite to me again.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE MAIN ISSUE My main dilemma, after all of these ups downs, I really thought I was seeing some improvement in him, and I was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him, but I guess God has some other plans. He accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month, and I found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. He was also in contact with a girl, let's call her J, via Snapchat since 2021 till now, and only a few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that I am not his wife rather his sister. Apparently, J saw me and husband out somewhere. I let all of this go again since I thought it's pointless bringing this up as things are now improving. Two weeks after me finding out, I randomly get a dick pic from my husband at 4 am when I was sleeping next to him, and he was awake and came back from a night out with his friends. When I woke up, my husband was asleep; I found it very suspicious since we don't get these kinds of pictures anymore. He forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. What fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him.
Anyways, I talked about it a few days later, and he basically told me that he was trying to check J's loyalty for his friend. Please keep in mind his friend is also married and has 3-4 kids. I asked my husband why did you do it for your friend when you should have understood it the first time I caught you and made an issue out of it, and he said I thought that I would understand him doing all this for a friend, and I should've specifically asked him to stop doing it for his friends if I have such issues. Anyways, a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story, but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as I can't even why a person who went against his parents' wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. Does he want me to initiate the divorce so that he doesn't get the blame? WTF is it I am so confused, and I would most definitely will never have a child with a person who cheats.
submitted by WeakState5798 to AITAH [link] [comments]
THIS IS JUST BACKGROUND Hi guys, I am going through a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both Pakistani and live in the Gulf. We had our paper marriage, aka Nikkah, in 2017 and got married, i.e., moved into his house, in 2019. We've known each other since 2016, and this was a love marriage. My husband went against his parents' wishes to get married to me, whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices I make.
During COVID, I moved into my parents' house because of my two younger brothers, 15 and 12 at that time, as my parents got stuck in our home country for six months. My husband would spend four days with me and four days with his parents, i.e., peak COVID lockdown in 2020. Since I've known my husband, this is the first time I accidentally found out his phone password, whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in the past.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Anyways, I opened up his Snapchat without any malicious intent to check out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone, and Snapchat showed memories of last year of the same date. It was with some Filipinos (nothing against them, but where I live, they are usually considered as sex workers). I went and checked the old photos, and I saw that he had pictures with a lot of random women and specifically with his ex-girlfriend in the year 2018. They both had taken a lot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in the car, again very close to each other in his arms. I also found out he was asking Filipino their rates for sex work,and he also met one of them in his car and went to meet one in a mall during peak COVID lockdown.
Anyways, I didn't plan to talk to him about it because I was newly wed and didn't want to face consequences, and I thought he might stop on his own. Fast forward a few months later, my parents came back safely, and I moved back into my husband's house with his parents, and this is the time when I first actually started living with them, and within a few weeks, my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when I refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often.
Anyways, things started escalating a lot, and my husband and I were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. Then one day, we had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, I accidentally said out about his affairs. So we talked about it, and he said that he met his ex-girlfriend just like a friend as she came back from her home country after a long time, and he was asking for rates of Filipinos for his single friend. When I asked about what did you do with the Filipino you picked up in the car, he said that they just ate shawarmas by the seaside. I was naive and I bought into his narrative, even though I agreed to believe in his story,the uneasy feeling never left to the point where I refuse to have a child with him as I don't think I have a secure future with him.
Due to his parents bickering all the time, I finally snapped back at them, and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out of the house, and my husband and I both went no contact for one whole year as I demanded a separate house even if I have to face hunger. When we did finally talk again, he convinced me that this won't happen again from his parents' side, and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife, i.e., fulfilling my basic needs, maintaining peace, and protecting.
During this whole time, my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. Anyways, I moved back in with him at the end of 2021, and he did not stay true to his word. He still picks out fights, his parents still shout, scream at me occasionally, and he only gives me a bare minimum monthly allowance, which is not enough for me, and I still have to end up asking my father for money. Please keep in mind I am a university student, and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees, and essential needs, and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university.
Anyways, the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till the end of 2023, we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in a bad mood all the time. I had to beg him crying to change his behavior towards me and to be nicer to me when talks, or else I will have no other option than to leave him. He did become nicer for three months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by a huge crisis due to his younger brother's fault. That's when he became polite to me again.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE MAIN ISSUE My main dilemma, after all of these ups downs, I really thought I was seeing some improvement in him, and I was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him, but I guess God has some other plans. He accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month, and I found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. He was also in contact with a girl, let's call her J, via Snapchat since 2021 till now, and only a few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that I am not his wife rather his sister. Apparently, J saw me and husband out somewhere. I let all of this go again since I thought it's pointless bringing this up as things are now improving. Two weeks after me finding out, I randomly get a dick pic from my husband at 4 am when I was sleeping next to him, and he was awake and came back from a night out with his friends. When I woke up, my husband was asleep; I found it very suspicious since we don't get these kinds of pictures anymore. He forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. What fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him.
Anyways, I talked about it a few days later, and he basically told me that he was trying to check J's loyalty for his friend. Please keep in mind his friend is also married and has 3-4 kids. I asked my husband why did you do it for your friend when you should have understood it the first time I caught you and made an issue out of it, and he said I thought that I would understand him doing all this for a friend, and I should've specifically asked him to stop doing it for his friends if I have such issues. Anyways, a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story, but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as I can't even why a person who went against his parents' wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. Does he want me to initiate the divorce so that he doesn't get the blame? WTF is it I am so confused, and I would most definitely will never have a child with a person who cheats.
2024.05.15 15:12 mitchymitchington Why weren't people good at art in the past like they are today?
So as I look at old paintings I keep coming to this conclusion. People were terrible at drawing. If you look today, we have hyper realistic paintings that you couldn't tell from a real photo. Granted we probably have better tools and pigments these days, but you're telling me they couldn't do better than this??? https://imgur.com/a/4uZ9G2n I see it time and time again, from cave paintings to medieval times. What gives? My 10 year old sister can draw better than that. Do they just not have the time to practice?
submitted by mitchymitchington to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]