If i am on antibiotics, when should i take diflucan

I’ve been having issues with the area under my jaw being swollen for a couple of weeks. No pain in the beginning, just varying degrees of discomfort. At its worst it felt like someone was always lightly choking me/applying pressure to the area. And the swelling sometimes felt like it went up to my ears.
I did see my allergies for it and was told it’s post nasal drip and I should use the Neilmed sinus rinse more than once a day and to gargle with salt water. And also take more allergy medication since I was only take one Allegra a day.
Swelling and discomfort didn’t improve so the allergist has prescribed me prednisone.
There were times where it was hard to swallow and hard to pass food down, but that was only for a couple of days.
The swelling always gets worse when I eat, but my allergist says I shouldn’t be having an allergic reaction to food since I only has OAS and the anti histamines and prednisone would prevent any food related reaction. Then refered me to a gastroenterologist for possible EoE.
Long story short, I did see a gastroenterologist and it’s not a gastro issue.
It’s been a couple of weeks and I’m now tapering down on the prednisone.
As I’m tapering down I’m starting to feel more like how I felt before I started taking the prednisone. So I’m sort of regressing.
Now I’m starting to think I have an infection. More specifically a salivary gland infection. Which is why I’m swelling even more almost immediately after starting to eat.
New symptoms which started 2 days ago include dull head pressure/ headache and also a sore throat.
I did have a sinus infection and concretion in the cheek area last year and it took going to see my doctor and then an ENT and a CT scan for them to give me antibiotics.
I’m seeing my allergist in a couple of days for a follow up appointment and hoping they can diagnose and prescribe me antibiotics if I am correct.
However my experience last year leads me to believe it might not be so easy. I really think going to an ENT again is overkill so I would like to avoid that.
Basically how easily does an allergist prescribe antibiotics?

My mom had follicular lymphoma when she was 40 and was able to get it resolved, but has found that it has relapsed last year. She started treatment on Rituximab+Revlimid (R2) at the end of March and this is specifically for relapsed patients. I did not find out about her cancer (nor the previous one) until one week before her first Rituximab appointment - and only because she needed a ride, so it felt like I was playing catch up on all her medical records for a bit. I do not live in the same city with her, she lives with my brother and dad, who have both been doing as much as they can as well, but they do not have flexible jobs (brother in IT agency traveling to local clients, and dad a semi-long distance trucker so he's only home 3 nights of the week). I am a small business owner so I have a bit more flexibility, so I flew back to be her appointment person during her first round of treatment. She is physically capable so at this point my only job was to drive her to and from appointments and also help talk with doctors (she does not fully understand English).
During her first IV of Rituximab, she had a reaction where she had chills and they had to pause and IV Benadryll into her (this seems common in this sub?). After her chills went away, they finished the Rituximab IV over the course of the next 4 hours. She started her Revlimid the same day as well. From then, she had 2 more injections of Rituximab over the next 2 weeks but the following blood test, they found that her WBC had gone below the ideal level and decided she should pause her injection that week. The following week, her WBC was still the same, so they skipped that week as well.
After that, she somehow caught a fever of 101 and we brought her to the ER that day on April 23rd and she was in the hospital until May 10th. During this time in the hospital, they gave her a constant IV of electrolytes + antibiotic IV. They did a ton of tests (CT Scan, Ultrasound, MRI, Spinal Tap, etc.) and did not find any sort of infection, but new problems came up.
During her time in the hospital, she had some awareness but there were moments where it seemed like she might have been delusional or imagining things - just generally not herself and it felt very off. They said her MRI showed some abnormal amount of white matter (?). She became very weak and lost her ability to move as much (again, prior to the ER, she was taking walks daily by herself, carrying things around the house like rice bags, cooking and feeding herself, etc. so she was physically capable). She couldn't lift her left hand or left leg and they were both swollen (not a stroke though). She wasn't able to feed herself anymore and didn't even have the energy to suck water from a straw. She couldn't stand on her own when they gave her physical therapy either. One of the therapists made a comment about how she would now require 24/7 care. It was shocking how much her body declined during this time. She also had a fever almost every other day in the hospital.
Finally, when she hadn't had a fever for 48 hours, they decided she could be discharged but wanted to take a second CT scan and ultrasound to ensure there were no blood clots in her body from her lying in the hospital for 2 weeks. They also decided she should be on antibiotic IV at home, so they did a midline insertion to put a line into her arm. That same day when she was doing physical therapy for that day, they found that her O2 levels dropped to 85%, but she doesn't have a history of breathing problems. After finding this out, they decided to look back at the CT scan and found that there was "more liquid in her lungs than when she first came in" - they decided they could not discharge her that day and they wanted her to go home with an oxygen tank to use at home, so we would have to wait for that to arrive at the hospital before she could be discharged. The general doctor also wanted to do a procedure to extract the liquid from her lungs, but the pulmonary doctor said there is a possibility it's from lying down here for too long without movement and that it could go away without interference. I decided I didn't want to put her through another procedure because of the psychological stress she's had with being here for so long and her other procedures during her stay (bone marrow biopsy, spinal tap, midline insertion).
In addition, this process has been emotionally taxing. She's asked every day in the hospital if she could go home, started berating me about how I'm not aggressive enough with doctors to tell them to let her out, how I just want to leave her in the hospital to die, etc. While this was all painful to hear, I'm trying to remember that she's also not fully herself during this time, but everyday still felt like a battle to stay calm and do what's best for her.
Finally when she was discharged, she's been bedridden at home. We were optimistic about getting her to start standing and eventually walking again, but it seems she has even less energy here than at the hospital (not sure if this is due to the lack of electrolyte IVs at home?). We do try to get her to eat but she's losing energy to even chew or swallow pills so we have been trying to give more soups and liquids. She's talking less and moving less.
Because of the nature of my brother and dad's jobs, I've been the one present at the hospital most of the time, and after getting discharged, I'm the one who's at home making meals, feeding, changing her diapers, etc. They do take over when they are home. When she was discharged, my husband also flew down to help out, with lifting her up and down (lol I am not as strong as I'd like to be), feeding her, and taking care of general things around the apartment.
I had a call with her oncologist yesterday and he confirmed that Rituximab was not working for her and that this scenario only happens to <5% of patients. He said the only option now is to wait for her immune system to come back before starting a different chemo.
I guess I am just looking for shared experiences / support because it feels so defeating right now. It feels a little hopeless too because since coming home, she's been doing worse. If this continues to decline, I expect we would bring her back to the hospital. I don't want to be negative or give up hope, and I know that her immune system can't just get back to normal overnight. It feels sad that lymphoma is known to have "positive outcomes" (???) and that she's having such a rough time through it. As a caregiver, I also feel exhausted and guilty/selfish that I miss my life.
I recognize that this has only been 2 months and there are worse scenarios to be in as well, I'm trying to be grateful that her body is still fighting, that I have my dad, brother, and husband to also share the workload with. I am starting the process of applying for IHSS to possibly find a caregiver as well, though I am not sure how this will pan out because my parents absolutely hate the idea of strangers in their home especially while my mom is vulnerable, and they hate the idea of hiring caregivers (we are an Asian immigrant family and they believe in the idea of kids being the caregivers).
TLDR: Mom has follicular lymphoma and is going through rough treatment process with many setbacks. I feel hopeless.

29F. No medications. Hx of discoid eczema.
Noticed this rash 8 days ago after it woke me up from my sleep with an incredible itch.
The rash is located symmetrically on both forearms and dorsum of hands. It is intermittently itchy. I have not noticed anything that makes it worse except for it my arms get hot.
The only new things I can think of that might have caused it are - I was day 4 of taking flucloxacillin for a superficial cellulitis when the rash appeared. I have taken penicillins before so did not stop the antibiotics. I have now finished the antibiotics and my cellulitis has cleared up. I also used a new moisturiser on my arms only that contains clementine essential oil. This is what I think might be the cause but I am not sure if it should have cleared up by now. I last used the moisturiser 5 days ago.
I have been using an antihistamine cream and a steroid cream called betnovate that I have at home.
Here is a link to photos: https://imgur.com/gallery/rash-sXqWli1
Any ideas?
Thank you

29F. Started on sulfameth last week for a UTI post IVF egg retrieval. I am also currently on estrogen preparing for a frozen embryo transfer but I’ve been on that a number of times without issue.
I’ve taken sulfameth once before without issues. I’m not sure if the events of the last week are correlated to the antibiotic or just rough luck. I started feeling very flu like 3 days into antibiotic (7 day course). Developed a sore throat that had actual sores/cuts according to my husband that looked at my throat. Then developed congestion.
I just thought it was the flu though and have been taking DayQuil for symptoms. On day 4 of antibiotic I developed a couple itchy red spots that turned white as I itched them. I’m now on Day 6 of 7 of antibiotics, and the spots are all over my extremities but not on my torso or face.
I’ve attached a picture of the spots, to me I don’t feel like they are bad enough to see a doc. But is there anything I should watch out fowhen to see a doctor. I am pretty doctor avoidant unless I’m dying. Right now I’m just insanely itchy and a bit nauseous but that is likely the estrogen.
Hive like spots: https://imgur.com/a/xFBgEEl

I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position.** EDIT to add that when I say Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have about 1 day until getting kicked out of the hotel. I also didn't need a visa to get here, though I will be getting one for my graduate program in September, but this current program was less than a month long so it was counted as group tourism basically.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for the TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any life advice? Or know any cheap hostels or something? Or even just some moral support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave early or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies.
Sidenote: The professor also said a lot of things insinuating that, because she didn't like me, neither would any of my professors in my grad school program will, and as much as I think she said it in a vindictive way, I will admit it has me second guessing if I want to actually pursue that in September. After all this I just feel like running from academia in general.

I'm currently in Berlin, Germany, and about to be homeless for 2 weeks on the streets. I signed up for a study abroad program from my university, which I just graduated from last semester. I paid the application fee, got picked, paid for my own flight here and back, and then got a scholarship from an alumni couple in the department I got my degree in, and that scholarship paid for the rest of the trip.
I worked my ass off doing research and selling a bunch of my stuff to get the plane tickets because I'm pretty broke. I was excited for this trip because I was accepted into a German university for graduate school and figured I'd get a good introduction to living in Germany, and to be honest, Berlin itself has been great, all the locals I've met have been very nice to me, but my professors and everyone working from my university have been really unprofessional and tricky and now I'm in an unsafe position. **EDIT TO ADD, when I say they're trying to make me go home Friday I mean tomorrow, so I have like 1 day until I'm kicked out of the hotel.
Long explanation, skip to the bottom for a TLDR:
Before I even got on a single plane, I found out customer service for my phone carrier and I had a misunderstanding a month ago when I bought my international plan and found out about 3 days in advance that my phone would be a brick here. I told the professor immediately and she said worse case scenario she would help me get a working phone when I landed, since it's kind of needed for basic safety. Just half a day before the first flight, I got bitten by a few deer ticks and said I might also need help scheduling a doctors appointment when I land, because our travel insurance required a working phone number and it was too late for me to make an appointment before my flight. The professor said that was fine and I would be helped with that as well, so I got on the first plane in full confidence.
When I landed, a day passed without either thing being handled, and that was fine by me, but then multiple days passed and the professor kind of just waved it off. I'd started to feel a little unwell and asked the professor to help me find a doctor and she said it was just jetlag.
One of the first days of the program we went to a restaurant, and the seating was a very small reserved room with our entire 20+ cohort in it. I have CPTSD and am claustrophobic and knew immediately that I did not want to sit there, so I asked the professor if she could help me ask the staff request a seat for me in the outside dining area, or, if one wasn't available, that I could just sit outside on a nearby bench and skip dinner. She told me the room was reserved for us and this was on the itinerary so I HAD to sit there, and when I again said I didn't think I could, she demanded I sit there again and condescendingly asked me if I really couldn't or just didn't want to. I started to cry as quietly as possible and then that suddenly made her understand, so we went outside and I explained that, in my opinion, trying to force any adult to do something they're uncomfortable with and have said "No" to is bad enough to me normally, but since I have a disability, it's also ableist. I tried to frame that sentiment in a "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way" kind of way but she still took offence to the criticism and I think that led to the rest of this.
After that happened I was feeling more ill and the professor said, "Oh, do you think it's lyme? Because if it was lyme you'd have a rash. It's probably still jetlag". At this point I said again that I needed some help getting a working phone number and medical advice from a doctor and she told me to take responsibility for myself. I'd bought myself a SIM card but it needed some unexpected trouble shooting and everything was in German (I know some German but only around A2 level and absolutely none is required for this program), so I'd already tried to help myself, and again could not schedule myself an appointment without a working phone.
I asked the professor if she could put her phone number in just to let the appointment scheduling process complete and she said no. I asked if she had any other ideas and she again told me to figure it out. I wound up walking 20 minutes through Berlin alone with no working phone to a doctor's office unannounced, barely able to fill half the sign in sheet and navigate the language barrier, and successfully got the antibiotics I needed and a lyme diagnosis. The nurse even asked why I came alone. Thankfully for me everyone in the doctors office including the doctor was very very nice to me despite the curveball I through them.
Not long after all that the professor sent an email with me cc'd in to the office of international affairs at the university, and the email said, in effect, "This student said they have a disability and can't stick to the itinerary and therefore I think they're not a good fit for this program and should go home." I immediately responded that that wasn't accurate, that I just could not sit inside a restaurant or other very cramped space, etc. Then I figured while I was at it I'd tell them about the total lack of care for my safety or wellbeing here. After sending that email the professor confronted me and tried to pretty much intimidate me into admitting everything was all my fault or something, I honestly have no clue, I think she was just upset and trying to make me feel better somehow. I think my criticism really got to her and made her kind of just hate me and that she wanted to make me make her feelings make sense. No clue honestly.
Anyway, after that the office of international affairs reached back out to me and were acting way nicer than they were when I first enrolled in this program, which felt sus, but I was haggard and miserable and wanted to be able to trust them so I did. They told me if I was considering coming home early for my own health and safety, that I could unenroll that night to make sure the alum who gave me a scholarship would at least be refunded, but that I had to do it that night since it was the last day to drop for a refund. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave the program, and they said if you're considering it unenroll and if you want to stay after further discussion then we can probably just go ahead and re enroll you.
So I did it. The next day I'm scheduled to meet with someone who told me the day or so before that she would be my advocate and that she was there to listen to and represent me, and when I join the zoom meeting, it's her, but also two other people from the international affairs office. They're telling me my return flight has already been scheduled and everything and that they were sending out a person to chaperone me on the flight, because, though it was totally ignored on my flights here, I'd mentioned at the very start of the application process that I'd been a human trafficking victim before and ideally wanted to fly with someone instead of alone. All of this had less than a 24 hour turnaround from me unenrolling.
I realized hours after unenrolling that I don't want to leave the program, I just want to actually be allowed to engage in the program as it was advertised and as it was promised, and that leaving the program, to me, feels like capitulating to the professor being an asshole to me and like removing liability from the university. In short I think I pretty much got tricked into unenrolling. I told them I didn't want to leave early and they told me they already scheduled everything and got a refund for my hotel room, so if I don't take the flight back Friday, I will be homeless on the streets for 2 weeks until the flight that I personally purchased for the 31st, and that since I hit the unenroll button, my housing, health, or safety will no longer be the universities problem after Friday.
So, the fuck do I do with this, ya'll got any advice? I could really use some. Or even just some support haha.
TLDR: Got tricked into hitting unenroll button after damaging professors ego, most likely purposely tricked to absolve the university of responsibility because how the profs were treating me and everything I described probably did make me a liability even if not my fault, but I'm mad and I'm enjoying Berlin and don't want to leave or let the university get away with risking my health and safety multiple times with no apologies. Currently will probably be homeless in Berlin for 2 weeks.

I want to establish that we both care about each other a great deal. We dated for a while about two years back, broke up, and then got together again about 6 months ago despite being a two hour flight apart. We visit each other pretty frequently (at least once a month) and both thoroughly enjoy spending that time together. She is very caring and sweet, and she reminds me that she loves me (and has done so more frequently over time).
However, the lingering issue in our relationship is that I sometimes feel disappointed by the perceived lack of care or effort on her part, while she feels like she’ll never be good enough to ever make me fully happy.
While I admit to losing patience and sometimes criticizing her, both of which I have made efforts to be better about, I would say that neither is unwarranted (albeit the wrong response). Here are some issues that stick to me where I’ve felt undervalued or underappreciated. She didn’t get me anything for Valentine’s Day even though I flew out specifically to be together on that day, and we had already talked about how I’d love to receive gifts or be shown she cares, especially on special occasions (for the record, I got her a gift and flew with a bouquet of flowers). Even though she knows I am very allergic to cats (of which she has two), she didn’t exhaust all allergy reducing options (for example, she cleaned her rooms and changed the bedsheets, but didn’t replace the AC filter with an allergy scale one or brush her cats to reduce their shedding) until I was reacting severely to the allergens and got upset over feeling like she wasn’t making her space as welcome to me as possible (meanwhile, I’d make my house spotless and bought her favorites drinks and snacks before her visits, and even bought a dog bed for her dog without her ever having to ask about it). Recently, I flew out after not seeing her for over a month, and while I expected a warm welcome, she had me pay for our dinner and then when we went to a bar for trivia, told me if I wanted to drink that I should get them myself (she was on antibiotics and couldn’t drink). For her, one part is that she was on the tail end of being sick, and also was planning to take me to a sushi restaurant that weekend which is why she felt fine having me cover dinner. But to me, it felt like I showed up just to fend for myself and she had made no effort to give me the warm welcome that I’ve made the effort to give her whenever she visits.
I could go on, but in short, I feel like I am very proactive about meeting her needs and taking care of her and doing things that bring her joy, whereas I feel like she (to her credit) makes efforts but they sometimes fall short. It’s not that she doesn’t care, I feel like… she thinks she’s doing enough and doesn’t feel the need do more? Or maybe the disappointment is because my standards are too high and I’m not being understanding? I almost feel like if I want something, anything, I have to explicitly ask her, or it won’t occur to her. And I understand one perspective of this is “well if you don’t say it, how can they know?”, but on the other hand she (for example) doesn’t have to ask me to buy her Ginger Ale, I know she loves it so I have it stocked before she arrives because I know she’ll appreciate it and she doesn’t need to ask me.
Am I being unreasonable to feel this way? Am I putting too much importance on individual events when I should look more big picture at all the ways she is consistently there for me? I also feel like anytime I complain about feeling this way, it further drives a wedge between us because she feels like she’ll never be enough and I’ll leave her at any moment. Should we just let things go?

I always thought I had a semi- OK relationship with my mother in law. We had some issues years back in the first years of my husband and I's relationship. She didn't like me correcting her parenting advice or old wives tale medicinal beliefs- like going out in the cold causing a cold, or asking antibiotics for viral infections, ext. Also we had to take a step back due to her not following the potty training protocols put in place for our daughter and my MIL complaining of accidents due to her not following the potty training routines. I had believed us to be past this. She often makes jokes at my expense or jabs at my parenting choices disguised as bad jokes. She also gives me lots of dirty looks and makes a big stink if I spend any time with the kids and my side of the family. She also ignores me and lets me talk to her with no eye contact or acknowledgment from her whatsoever. She just lets me talk and pretends she doesn't hear me when I am right next to her speaking clearly just feet away. She even began talking to someone else right in the middle of my sentence. Yet another petty thing- she won't ever compliment my cooking, or my parenting. I am a former chef and love to cook and bake. I make my own sourdough bread, all my kids meals from scratch, and love to nourish and show people love with food. She won't ever tell me she enjoys my cooking- though I have heard through the grapevine some of my dishes are the best she's had…. She also has never once said I am a good mom- and I take my parenting very seriously. I homeschool my kids and raise them in a very “old school” way- playing outside, no tablets and low TV time, very Montessori style… my kids are some of the best behaved I have seen and yet she seems to try to take care of it… when my kids are complemented at a restaurant for example- my MIL will say, “that's because Grammy’s here”…. I think I have painted a decent picture of how things have been.

 Through all of this, I have bitten my tongue and taken things in stride. Taking her insults disguised as jokes as just that- bad jokes. I walk on eggshells so as to not make her look bad or show her up on anything, and try to make he feel good by complimenting her outfits, food, ext…. After this last Mother’s Day, I will no longer be doing that and we will be taking a step back. The day began with her arriving to the Grandparents cabin 2 hours late, giving hugs all around… when her daughter wishes her a Happy Mother's Day she says “some day Ill be saying that to you…” then when I got up to hug her (holding my 2-month-old) and wish her a Happy Mothers Day she curtly says “thanks” and looks me up and down with a death glare. Then later when we were all dishing up for lunch she made a comment about how he should be making her a plate and not mine… to which I said “Hey I’m a mom, too… I’m in the trenches”- for context, I have 4 kids 5 years old and under one very fresh- only 2 months postpartum for me. She then says “Well, I made it to the other side…” “ I said “Absolutely you have done well, someday I’ll get the other side” to which she said “I don't know we’re taking bets over here. Don't think you'll make it”. She said this half-jokingly, half not- in a cruel and mean way… as if to punish me for taking her son away. The rest of the day she was very rude. Did all of the usual things plus more side eyes and death glares. My husband plans to speak with her but I can't help but think I am being THAT daughter in law… how can I draw a boundary in a way that she can't use against mer? My husband is going to draw a boundary but I really want to tell her personally how much she has hurt my feelings, and stand up for myself. Is this a bad idea? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. 

31(f) sorry if this is long winded, I’m just like wtf. I was feeling off last week and had a weird pain in my urethra but I just brushed it off cause I have a history of kidney stones and it felt like maybe I had just passed one. A day later I notice a very sensitive sore on my labia minors so I went to the urgent care (couldn’t get into my normal dr for TWO MONTHS 💀) and the dr took a look at it and told me he had no idea what it was but took a swab of it to test for a multitude of things. I was feeling absolutely awful yesterday. fever of 102.4, chills, body aches, etc so I just knew that I had herpes, I had a hunch from the beginning but all the symptoms were there. Got a call yesterday afternoon to confirm that I do indeed had HSV2 and on top of it BV 🫠 They gave me an antibiotic for the BV but said nothing about the herpes. This is by far one of the most painful and uncomfortable things I have ever gone through. I’m only on day 6 (I believe) and it just keeps getting worse. The internet says it can be brought on by stress, among other things. I just had my second child almost 5 months ago and having a baby is obviously stressful and I also have an almost 11 year old boy (wow, did I mention having kids is stressful?) I have been with my husband for 2 years now and my partner before that for over 5 years. Could I have had it for literal years and not known about it? I am probably one of the most stressed out humans (thank you anxiety) and have had shingles twice… the last time just back in September while I was pregnant. So is this outbreak because I’m stressed? Hormonal drop after having a baby? My husband has never experienced any symptoms of hsv and before we got together he got sti screened for everything besides herpes cause I guess it’s not one they test for unless there is symptoms? He has not cheated nor have I. So why now all of the sudden am I having my first outbreak. And wow wtf is it THIS TERRIBLE. I literally want to cry every single time I pee. And I can only take so many baths a day to ease the pain.
Okay now the reason for this post 1. Have any other women experienced this? 2. Should I be worried about breastfeeding? 3. How long will it hurt and when will the blisters stop forming? 4. Should I call my OB and make a follow up appointment? The urgent care literally didn’t do anything for me except tell me I have it 5. Should I expect to feel this shitty anytime I have an outbreak 6. Please give me any and all tips and tricks to managing this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
I’m obviously pretty upset that that is happening, but with my husband being so sweet and supporting I know I’ll come out of this okay. I just wish it didn’t feel like my entire world is messed up right now.

I’m a male, 31yo and live in the London, UK. I’ve had sex on 27/04/2024 with a transwoman (male turned female) sex worker where we had unprotected oral sex and also protected anal sex where I was receiving. Then the next day I had a one night stand with the girl without protection having oral and vaginal sex. I believe that both of these people are sexually active.
Around 10 days later, I started getting symptoms of a small patch white discharge in my underwear and also burning sensation when urinating.
After getting an STI test from an NHS GUM clinic in London, I’ve been told today that I have:

• Chlamydia (Urine Sample)
• Chlamydia (Rectal Swab Sample)
• Gonorrhoea (Throat/Pharyngeal Swab Sample)

I’m currently in North England, and flying out on holiday tomorrow in Europe until Thursday 23rd May so will struggle for time to go to my local GUM clinic for treatment. I’ll only be able to attend a GUM clinic in the North England on Friday 24th May, or I can attend the London GUM clinic on Tues 28th March for treatment.
My concern is that its not as simple as taking antibiotics due to the complication of having 2 different STDs in 3 places, and the London GUM clinic may already what specific treatment plan I should follow for this. My other concern is that if I take antibiotics, then it may not remove the Gonorrhoea that is more resistant to antibiotics so I don’t want my GP to make the wrong decision to give me the wrong antibiotics.
Sex date: 27/04/2024 and 28/04/2024 Symptoms first noticed: 06/05/2024 STI result: 15/05/2024
What do you think is the best course of action? Shall I wait 2 weeks until I can start treatment from my London GUM clinic? Shall I call my GP for antibiotics? Am I overly worried that about waiting 2 weeks whilst having these STIs?

Long post, TLDR need crowd funding advice and rehoming advice.

1. So someone I know has a 6 yo male and neutered that’s in serious need of medical care. He was originally a stray kitten who got very sick and they saved him with veterinary care. However they cant afford veterinary care anymore and he developed a new condition that got worse until now. I asked them if I could adopt him so I could get him care and they said yes. Our first appointment at the vet is today.

I’m don’t know when it started but he lost all his teeth, drools a lot, gums inflamed, and his eyes are going grey but I think he can still see
The appointment just to see a doctor is $115. I can afford up to a total of $1000 for treatment. I’m hoping I could get his mouth treated, but I know that he’s probably going to go blind. Eye surgery is usually around 2-3k per eye.
I’m considering what I should do. I am not asking for medical advice. Maybe just crowd funding advice so maybe I can dream of saving the poor guys eyesight. I really don’t want to put him to sleep over this. I think he could still live a happy life as long as he becomes pain free. If required giving him away to someone else who can take of his eyes, I would be willing to do that.

1. The person I’m adopting them from has had a habit of adopting and spay/neutering the sick/dying/injured kittens from the colony near their house for a few years now. They also have other cats (now adults) they rescued as kittens that are healthy or are otherwise actively taken prescriptions.

They were well taken care of and were taken in because they got serious infections, were hit by a car and needed hip/jaw replacements, or or other things. They received veterinary care, prescriptions, and were all spoiled with a ton of wet food and dry food.
They’re losing their house and can only take a few of them with them to the new location. They don’t know what to do with the rest (6-10). Yes it’s a lot of cats. They already know they shouldn’t have taken in so many. They’re all otherwise loved, care for, and socialized with other cats.
Some have ongoing prescriptions. Some of have behavioral issues (peeing).
They are afraid to seek help because they’re worried they’ll go to jail for neglect/hoarding. Again, they are well cared for, have other prescriptions they pay for, and eat mostly wet food. Most shelters aren’t accepting pets. Some of the cats have behavioral issues. All of them have received veterinary care In the past ranging from hip replacements after being hit by a car, to antibiotics and eye meds. They have also already all been spayed/neutered.
Please no shitting on the owner. They really did their best to give them all a good life and I already gave them a big earful over the sick cat and not rehoming them sooner.
Any advice is appreciated. Thank you <3

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

I will make daily updates in here. It's been quite a journey for me. Will post my history prior to effexor below.. So far am on day 3.
Day 1 - 5/13/2024
Took at 10:00
Anxiety was sky high when I took but settled some 45 minutes after taking.
12:00 feeling jittery and kinda spaced out?
14:00 extreme anxiety
17:00 nausea / dry heave
18:00 headache
Stomach rumbling at night which was kinda funny listening too tbh.
Day 2 - 5/14/2024
Took at 10:10
Really bad anxiety after taking.
Felt really weird before noon
At noon stated reading a book called Hope and Hell for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weeks.
From 12:30 - 13:45 I felt an overwhelming calmness that freaked me out kinda. I felt at peace, really strange.
16:00 nausea when I yawn
Increased jitters and burning chest (anxiety) at night while settling down for bed.
My story and history :
since December I have been suffering with anxiety which has progressively gotten worse to the point where it has made me depressed as well. As of this post I am at an all time low and am in desperate need of relief. If you make it to the end I will explain what I am going through.
I am a male in my late 30s and have had two bouts of anxiety / depression in my life both of which lasted 3 months (2015 and 2020), and were cured with therapy. This time seems different..
I have a very stressful job which requires me to work 7 days a week with the only break being when I take vacation or slow times in the industry. It pays really well and helps me provide my wife and two young kids a good life so I put up with it in the hopes I can manage the stress better in time. I mention the above because I truly believe it has alot to do with the state I am in now.
I have always been caring, outgoing, light natured, and humerous throughout my life and also pretty sensative. I really want to go back to that and hope treatment will help.
I also realize I am my own worst enemy in getting treatment as you will see in the paragraphs below.
When I was a teenager into my early twenties I was carefree and would try most drugs to fit in. Extacy, lsd, mushrooms, pills, etc.. Never touched the extremely hard stuff. Marijuana was my best friend and I smoked a ton of it. Hello panic attack! I remember the first time I got one after smoking Marijuana in my early twenties. It was horrible! I couldn't smoke Marijuana anymore afterwards because it would induce a panic attack. I told myself it was God's sign telling me to stop so I did. I haven't smoke Marijuana since.
Fast forward a few years from then I was introduced to a medical condition called gout. It is very painful and the first time I was treated for it I was given narcotic pain medication and an anti inflammatory. I took both when I got home and it provided relief. Being this was my first experience, I wanted to research gout a little more and I did just that on the internet. Here comes the part where my life changed for the worse..
For some reason, I also asked google if you could overdose on the pain medication I was currently taking. No clue why I wanted to know but as soon as I read you could, I instantly had the worst panic attack I ever experienced.
Ever since that point in my life I have refused to take medication in fear of another panic attack. From that point forward, my mind associated taking medication with panic. For the years afterwards I always had a panic attack when I tried to take anything including something as simple as advil.
Anytime I would be prescribed something I would obsessively research it, watch videos on it, read reviews, etc.. I would psych myself out and not take it.
Fast forward to 2015 when I finally moved out of my parents house. I won't go too much into it but I had my first bout of extreme anxiety and depression from it. It was a big change for me and it took a few months to pull myself out of it with the help of a therapist.
Life was absolutely WONDERFUL after that. I was on my own, found the love of my life, got married in 2018, and was the happiest I had ever been.
2020 was my second episode of anxiety and depression. In a matter of 6 months I lost my grandmother, godmother, my one year old boxer puppy, and my father in law. I also had my first child. Not to mention it was covid time...After everything settled down from the chaos it hit me like a ton of bricks. Bam!..anxiety and depression. It was awful and I knew I needed help. I started therapy and it helped tremendously. It was suggested that I also see a pyschiatrist. I did and he prescribed me prozac to take along with therapy. I was not going to take it. We all know how I am with my phobia of medication.
One day I said screw it and out of nowhere threw it in my mouth and swallowed. I expected the worse. Nothing happened...I continued to take it for 4 days and didn't notice anything bad happening to me. I was happy about that.
The 5th day I had a panic attack because I started to feel really strange. I don't remember exactly how I felt but I remember calling my sister and telling her I feel really weird. She assured me it is normal and to keep on which I did.
The 6th day I took my pill in the AM and all was well. I was tired so I stayed in bed. Out of nowhere I felt a rush of bad bad bad energy take over my body. It is hard to explain. It was like a rush of anxiety but with it was a sense of hopelessness and dread. I had experienced in my first bout back in 2015 but not this severe. I was scared and called my psychiatrist and left a message. I immediately went to my mother's and cried cried cried. The feeling subsided. My psychiatrist called me back very quickly and when I explained what I felt he told me to stop taking it and to take the ativan he prescribed if needed.
I stopped the medication and never took an ativan. I got better over the next couple months through therapy and all was well.
I did have a tiny breakthrough and convinced myself to take a medication to stop my reoccurring gout attacks. It is called allopurinol and is regarded as one of the safest medications out there. It took alot of courage and of coarse I read every review there is on it but I eventually just threw it in my mouth and fell asleep. Have been taking it daily for two years now.
Fast forward to December of last year 2023. The stress from work and medical issues throughout 2023 must have built up and I had a breakdown. I started to get anxiety and small feelings of the hopelessness I mentioned above. December into January into February I dealt with it and kept telling myself it will pass like the other times. It didn't and kept getting worse. I finally sought help from a psychologist in late February / early March. After the first few sessions I would immediately get a high from the previous hours talk. It was fantastic but eventually wore off a few hours later.
The anxiety I was experiencing / am experiencing is absolutely horrible. Non stop jaw clenching, chest pains, tension, blurred vision, lack of good sleep, extremely heightened senses, etc. I am good at telling myself it is anxiety and will go away. I don't freak out over it into full blown panic but I feel like I am always borderline panic while also being exhausted. It's very uncomfortable. I have had multiple health checkups and all is fine.
I decided to call my old psychiatrist because it had been 3 months with minimal relief. I was told he was retiring and he referred me to someone else who I am now seeing.
He prescribed me Paxil and klonopin in marxh and of coarse my phobia stopped me from taking it. We did a gene test to see which medicine would work for me and paxil was a good fit. I just couldn't do it. For the next few weeks I seemed to be getting better by getting out and doing things. I even started fishing again which was a huge passion of mine. Things were looking up!
Anxiety was going from an all day thing to maybe a couple hours type of thing! I was hopeful...
Let me introduce you to my buddy kidney stones...
Middle of April I woke up to EXCRUCIATING pain. I eventually went to the ER that day after hours of suffering and they told me I had 2 kidney stones. They sent me home with the same narcotic pain medication that started my panic attack journey when I was younger and also some other medication. From that Tuesday to Thursday I was in crippling pain and refused the pain medication. It got to a point where I almost blacked out from the pain so I had no choice but to take it. I popped it and finally got some sleep. I think I didn't freak out after taking it because my body was in shock from the pain. I woke up 30 minutes later to the excruciating pain again and said enough was enough. I went back to the ER and they did an emergency surgery and put a Stent in me to stop the pain. It worked and was a huge relief.
After catching up on sleep and recovering, I started to get my anxiety back. The next two weeks while waiting on my second surgery my anxiety, which was on the right path prior to this stone, came back to it's previous 10/10 levels. Jaw clenching, blurred vision, etc..
I toughened it out AND not to mention, completed a full 14 day coarse of a strong antibiotic due to a kidney infection! I was so proud of myself. With my newfound proudness, I called my Pyschiatrist and set up an appointment for the following week after my second surgery to discuss some things.
I had my second surgery last Friday the 3rd and they removed both stones. I went home Friday night with another stent in me which I was told to remove from home on Monday by pulling a string that was hanging out of my penis head (sorry for TMI) which in turn pulls the stent from my kidney down and out through my penis. I did that on Monday and it wasn't bad at all.
The Saturday after my surgery went fine. I'm sure I felt good because I was still coming off anesthesia but boy o boy that Sunday I woke up after sleeping 12 hours to a horrible panic attack. Imagine waking up from a dead sleep to the biggest adrenaline dump you could imagine. It was awful and lasted ALL day! I experienced derealization and every symptom you can think off. I should have taken a klonopin but my phobia told me it would make it worse so I didn't. It settled down into the evening and I was absolutely exhausted.
Monday I woke up to another panic attack but not as severe and Tuesday another panic attach which was even less severe. Wednesday the same and this morning has been the first morning I haven't woken up to an adrenalin dump. With that being said, this whole week has been absolutely horrible with 10/10 anxiety. I rarely get breaks from it. At night it calms down and I feel normal. Because of that, I chase that normal feeling and stay up way too late lol.
Anyway, leading up to my psychiatry appointment today, the last few weeks I have been obsessively looking up the 2 ssris and 1 snri my gene test said I was compatible with. Prozac (go figure), paxil, and effexor. I was also compatible with welbutrin.
Paxil I am terrified of because it is supposedly the dirtiest and worst for weight gain (I am a 240lb male).
Prozac I tried previously and I think I didn't give it enough time. I am not 100% sure that dread / hopeless feeling was suicide ideation but the feeling is in a class of its own compared to my normal anxiety.
Effexor I am scared of because of the withdrawel and alot of YouTube reviewers said it made them feel high and wired for the beginning. The horror stories of coming off it scares me too.
Welbutrin I hear great things about but heard it is bad for anxiety which is my main concern.
My overall fear is that any of these will make me lose control and make me not myself. I am also scared that I don't remember what normal feels like and feeling normal will scare me. Crazy to say that. Ultimately he prescribed me Effexor 37.5 for 2 weeks and then upping it to 75mg. He said to take the klonopin if I need it starting up. I have 15 of them.
I know I need to do something because I can't live like this. My wife, my 4 yr old, and my 2 yr old need their father and husband back. It's not fair to them. I'm tired of staying in bed all day. I'm tired of not caring if I wake up. I'm tired of not being the best employee I can be, I'm tired of not being in contact with my friends anymore, I'm tired of not caring about my hobbies, Im tired of being tired, and most importantly I'm tired of feeling like this.
I will start the effexor and update this thread with my progress.

[First]
The Covenant of Terra is what would emerge from the ashes of the Pre-War nations.
The moment the Ark was clear of Sol-4’s atmosphere it warped away to the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
All throughout the Orion Arm and into the wider galaxy, the alarm was raised. This would cause the Great Panic, an intense and sustained period of civil unrest as species once again prepared for another Great Plague.
Borders were shut. Economies ground to a standstill. People huddled in their homes and medical infrastructure went on high alert. People waited.
It never came.
All according to plan.
As the Terrans slumbered beneath the red sands of Sol-4, their AI worked in the shadows of the Holonet. Poking, prodding, manipulating.
Right before the lights on Sol-3 were extinguished, one final counterattack would be launched. Then, it was dismissed as errant transmissions, desperate last attempts at appeasement. They were wrong.
Instead, an army of active combat AI were unleashed into cyberspace. These AI were entirely different beasts when compared to the passive Intelligence AI of before. Their goal was simple: continue the fight.
However, their war would not be of mass cyberattacks, but instead of mass manipulation. They sunk their virus-laced teeth into every digital space they could find. Wherever they went, they sowed the seeds of chaos.
The period that followed the Eradication would be consumed by the 11th, 12th, and 13th Trans-Galactic wars. Though Terra’s AI played their part in causing them, they were merely the catalysts. The seeds of these wars were sown by the galaxy themselves. All the AI did was grease the gears of war.
Despite their independence, the AI remained loyal to the Terrans. Although they were not made in the likeness of the Terran, the AI were imbued with the Terran’s most powerful emotion: spite.
Thus, the AI hated.
They hated the galaxy for what they did to the Terrans. They hated the galaxy for their own recklessness. They hated the galaxy with the same vitriolic power that the galaxy hated them.
By the time the AI was discovered, it was too late to stop it.
Quintillions of fabricated blog posts, carefully-placed pieces of malware, and subtle backdoors made it so that the idea of a secret Terran-controlled AI cabal that manipulated the holonet became laughable. Conspiracy theorists and skeptics who got too close to the truth were publicly humiliated. Pieces of evidence were carefully laid so that others would take the blame.
One species found the backdoors laid by an inexperienced AI. When they were explored, they led to a neighboring species whom the first recently humiliated in an unbalanced trade deal. Soon enough, the truth was buried, and the two species were at war.
Year 74
It's been decades since Terra went silent.
To the wider galaxy, any living trace has long since been extinguished. The armies have been sent back to their garrisons, the fleets resume their regular patrols, and the governments have been demobilized.
Despite that, MOLOCH remains active.
A second-generation counterintelligence AI, MOLOCH was one the many AI to be fully transferred to the Holonet before the destruction of Sol-3’s orbital data fortresses. Though its creators no longer walked on the surface of the planets they used to rule, for MOLOCH, the War continued.
Deep within the depths of the Holonet, MOLOCH extended its digital tendrils everywhere it could. Shunting off subroutines, MOLOCH embedded them within server rooms, network routers, and relay stations. From then, each subroutine and copy expanded further, gathering information and sorting through it independently.
One of its siblings from the first generation sent a message
>QUERY: STATUS OF PROBES.
It was CAMELOT, a first-generation propaganda-based AI. After the fall of Sol-3 it transitioned from running pro-Human messages towards instigating civil conflicts within various multinational empires. Currently, it and MOLOCH were working towards escalating a tax dispute between the Perringian Empire and one of its vassal states.
Another one of MOLOCH’s peers, BELLONA, this time of the same generation and MOLOCH, had requested data on how the Perringains would perform in a low-intensity counterinsurgency war. Similarly, MOLOCH wanted to know weaknesses of the Empire’s intelligence apparatus. CAMELOT meanwhile needed to reconstitute itself after being forced to liquidate most of its servers following a secret police raid.
MOLOCH ran a quick diagnostic on itself. Currently, the bulk of its essence was stored onboard a decommissioned Royal Ulothan datacenter station. As far as its original creators were aware, the station experienced a severe warp drive malfunction and broke up upon converting to realspace. In reality, MOLOCH had hijacked the station’s systems and vented its crew.
MOLOCH checked on the progress of some of its other subroutines embedded onboard Perringian spyships then responded.
>ADEQUATE.
>EXPECT OUTBREAK OF OPEN HOSTILITIES IN 34 DAYS.
>QUERY: IS PSYOP CAMPAIGN ON SCHEDULE.
A millisecond, then CAMELOT responded.
>NEGATIVE.
>PEACE ACTIVISTS MORE RESILIENT THAN EXPECTED.
>RECOMMEND INTEGRATING HERMES INTO OPERATION.
>ACTIVISTS NEED MONETARY CONNECTION TO PERRINGIAN RIVAL STATE TO BE VILIFIED.
Smart. So far the trio of AI have been attempting to escalate the conflict vertically. Horizontal escalation may serve as a catalyst for the start of a hot war. With any luck, a future threat should be smothered in its cradle.
Terra would be pleased.
As this occurred, the Covenant rebuilt themselves in the furthest reaches of known space.
It was not an easy start. Though the Ark held a population that was technically well into the millions, the true population was only in the low hundreds. They would have to play the long game, slowly rebuilding Terran civilization by the generation.
The Ark’s onboard AI would have to do most of the heavy lifting out of necessity. This implied a deep trust between the Terran and their AI. If they so choose, the AI could easily smother the burgeoning Terran population in its cradle and take power for themselves. But this would not come to pass.
The Terrans treated their creations with kindness and respect. The AI were not androids. There would be no confusion on the status of their sapience. They were living beings in their own right. After all, they had been specifically created as such.
Soon, a refuge was found. At the furthest reaches of the galaxy sat a lone star system. It was small and isolated, just what the Terrans needed.
It consisted of only three planets, two terrestrial and one gas, alongside a thin asteroid belt. Of the terrestrial planets, only one was habitable with conditions near enough to Sol-3 to be tolerable. The other was a molten hellhole that orbited far too close to the new star. The gas giant, despite having an intricate ring system, held less than a dozen moons, only three of which were large enough to be significant.
The Terrans would have to live a deeply austere life here. It would not be as pleasant as the lives of those who came before, but it was a life nonetheless.
Fortunately, they would not have to begin such an endeavor with nothing. As the Ark traveled to their new star, Helios, it made contact with the AI that were embedded in the Holonet a century before.
New orders were given and lines of communication were established. Hidden relay networks were established that connected the Covenant to the holonet. Signals were scrambled, encrypted, and masked amongst the waves of cosmic radiation.
The AI watched such connections like hawks. Casual observers would notice that the signals came from the frontier. More inquisitive observers would recognize that such signals came from research installations. Anyone who got further would be misdirected, misinformed, or outright eliminated.
Nobody could know of Terra’s survival. Should the secret be revealed, it would spell the final end of the Terran race.
Year 211
“I must thank you HEPHAESTUS, you have truly outdone yourself. These new implants outstrip what was once on Old Terra by at least tenfold.”
“You’re quite welcome, Dr. Schroeder.” The AI responded. Its avatar was that of a flaming cog, fitting. “Field-tests have yielded excellent results. It is of consensus between me, SETHLANS, VULCAN, and AHAYU’DA that we begin serialized production.”
“I concur. How long will that take?”
“About 15 days to construct the necessary infrastructure and 65 before the first divisions could be fully equipped.”
“See to it.” Schroeder nodded. HEPHAESTUS responded and its avatar winked out. “Yes, sir.”
Schroeder leaned back in his chair with a sigh and ran the mechanical hand down his face. Reconstitution was going well for the Covenant, but it was difficult keeping it onto the right track. He took a sip from a now-lukewarm synthetic cup of coffee and pondered it.
They were only a quarter of the way into the new year, yet already several Terrans had to be punished for creating another death cult. As the generations passed, people became more and more obsessed with the Covenant unleashing its vengeance upon the galaxy. The Return would happen eventually, but for that they would need numbers that they didn’t currently have.
One of the tenants of the Torchbearer Directive left to them by their ancestors on Old Terra was to let the new generations live lives outside of the war that destroyed their own home. Those of the first generation attempted to form a Terran Republic, but by the third generation it had devolved into a firm, but stable, stratocracy.
Not that Dr. Schroeder could complain, it was an effective government nonetheless.
Still, HESTIA continuously had its gripes about having to teach each following generation the tenants of the Torchbearer Directive when they consistently listened to their elders act against it. Love and hate went hand in hand, but it was clear which one was more powerful.
Schroeder just wished HESTIA would stop complaining to him about it, he worked in cybernetics. Then again, HESTIA is probably tired of talking to nobody but other AI and Terran caretakers for the past few decades. Go figure.
Even as the chaos of the Great Panic died down, there was still the fear of the Terran’s return. These fears were not unfounded, it would have to happen eventually.
So the Covenant watched and prepared. AI that were embedded in the Holonet centuries ago continued to dutifully provide the Covenant with priceless information. Terran technology was advanced by decades as their digital companions brought the galaxy’s deepest secrets into the light.
The Covenant would need to return. It was their duty to their ancestors to reclaim what was lost and then some. They had to carve out their own fortress empire and proudly proclaim “I am here!”.
But above all, Terra yearned for revenge. Their enemies showed them no quarter. It would only be fitting that the Covenant show none in return.
The only question that remained was how it would be done.
The first incursions would need to be covert. That much was certain.
In fact, they couldn’t even be recognized as Terran. False flag attacks would be the norm. Confusion was the name of the game
To fully exploit their advantages, the Covenant needed to maintain that state for as long as possible. Their AI were many and the information they gleaned would be invaluable, but there were certain things that were beyond the gaze of even their digital eyes. For that, special operations teams would be needed for critical smash and grab missions.
The Covenant’s conventional forces had no hope of facing a trans-galactic alliance in a peer engagement. No matter how powerful a single Terran may be, there will always be enough of the enemy to drown them in a sea of bodies.
What the Covenant needed was a force multiplier. Something that went beyond the mere enablers that were their cybernetic and AI advantages.
A true Weapon of Mass Destruction fit for use at the galactic scale.
As the Covenant looked to the past, to the reason for their exile, the answer became readily apparent.
Year 250
Intelligence Officer Thrun’krzc stared at the news clippings on the Holograph aboard the spyship CDS Inquisitive.
“Fungal infection devastates the Hyunian Empire. Spores send sentient hosts into a violent rage. Rumors of reanimated corpses.”
“Asteroid impact contaminates oceans on Krysen Capitol with amoeba that attacks sentient nervous systems.”
“Medical research vessel studying the Terran Plagues crashes into hive world. Viral outbreak causes death toll in the Billions.”
“Bacterial infection in Likunki baffles doctors, no known antibiotics are effective.”
“Reactor overload at Data Hypercenter causes trillions in economic damage.”
“Conspiracy theorist accuses Terrans of being behind recent unrest, analysts skeptical.”
“Chaos as Perringian Empire descends into Civil War. Linghona suspected of funding rebels.”
The pattern was disturbing to say the least. It could be a random coincidence. Stranger things have happened in galactic history before. But few things match the bizarreness of this. Either way, the Emperor should be made aware.
The ship shuddered as the docking procedure was completed. A civilian freighter inbound from the Edge was experiencing reactor trouble. A hail was sent out and the Inquisitive was the nearest vessel.
Normally they wouldn’t respond to such hails, but the Inquisitive was officially flagged as a communications vessel. They had to keep their cover
She then tabbed over to the next display. The Terran question still remained.
For the past century, the validity of the Sol-4 incident has been muddled by distortions and lies. What was known was this: A multi-megaton detonation from a piece of unexploded Terran ordinance ejected a large object into Sol-4’s atmosphere, followed shortly thereafter by the activation of a warp drive.
The Kyrenian soldier who witnessed it firsthand swore up and down that it was a Terran remnant fleeing on an ark. His helmet footage would’ve been proof enough, however the cameras malfunctioned before he could return to base. Forensics determined it was due to radiation from the blast.
Nearby surveillance satellites were heavily affected by an abnormally large electromagnetic pulse. Some recorded the object as breaking up before exiting the atmosphere. Others said the object made it into space before warping away.
Thrun’krzc suspected foul play. Those satellites were hardened against EMP attacks specifically because of the Terran fondness for nuclear weapons. Discrepancies found in their programming could be blamed on the EMP, but a cyberattack seemed more likely.
Suddenly, the Holograph glitched and the lights went black. The emergency lights came on automatically. The ship’s intercom crackled and a garbled message came through, eventually clearing.
“Apologies everyone.” The captain spoke. “It appears the freighter’s reactor problem was caused by malware. It transferred onboard when we docked. Rest assured, our cyberdefense team will have the situation under control. Please remain where you are until it is resolved.”
Another burst of static, then it fell silent.
To most, this would be unconcerning. However Thrun’krzc was an experienced officer. She knew what a cyberattack looked like. They were being boarded.
Flicking the safety off of her holstered sidearm she ran to the room’s door. She clicked the button but it remained in place, dead. Resolving herself, she deactivated the door’s electronics and disengaged the hydraulics. Gripping the handhold at the bottom, she lifted it up.
Drawing her weapon, she moved through the ship’s darkened passageways. All of the primary bulkheads were sealed. Approaching one, she could hear muffled screams and weapons fire from behind it.
But just before she reached it, a powerful explosion blew the door apart. A large chunk caught her in the side, knocking her to the ground. She groaned, rolling around disoriented. Gripping her side, she could feel three of her arms were broken.
Through the smoke, clusters of red lights slowly approached her. From the darkness, robotic figures approached with firearms. Her eyes widened in recognition.
Bipedal with two arms, about two meters in stature, chemical-based projectile weapons rather than plasma-based, advanced cybernetics replacing organic limbs, the Terrans have returned.
Several of the Terrans moved past while one stayed, its weapon pointed at her. It spoke to another through a vocalizer. Thrun’krzc couldn’t understand it, but she prayed for her life. “Sargent, looks like one of the VIP’s that PHOBOS designated.”
Another crouched down. Its face was fully covered by its helmet. Eight glowing red eyes in two pairs of four stared at her. Thrun’krzc froze in place. Her skin crawled as it examined her with an uncanny gaze.
“Looks like it, the twins will be happy. DEIMOS has been wanting to talk to one of these for a while.” It rose, nodding to a Terran that stood behind her. “Bag the xeno and bring it back for interrogation.”
With a sharp blow to the back of her head, Thrun’krzc’s world went black.
A/N: This was mostly written when I posted the first entry, so expect a greater delay for the next. Like I said before, this story is really just a way for me to explore concepts and experiment a bit. Hope it was entertaining.

Healing and killing
Hey hey y’all, so I am healing SIBO dominant gasses for both, and currently have bad gastritis healing as well.
So I am killing with - Grape seed extract - GI Mixrob X designed for health
I tried antibiotics - hence it created gastritis
And I am feeling it killing it off ever day and when I take it with them I feel it killing with burning.
What else can I do to heal the gastritis while healing sibo. I do Sucralfate and DGL licorice for healing gastritis. Done this for over a year.
I take also BPC-157 with PEA. It helps to heal the stomach
I eat a higher carb diet and i feel it killing off the bacteria. I have tried low carb before and it laid them dormant. Everyone’s different
I ate strictly, oatmeal with a bucket ton of Peanut butter a day, sweet and normal potatoes with chicken, turkey and lobster for 8 months with little to no improvement and still do the same but I am now basically eating a lot more just nothing with grease or fried foods, No red meat(Alfagal)
I’ve changed up diet to see if anything acts different and it does not it all produces gas.
What else should I do to kill faster, I’ve been dealing with this off and on for about almost 2 years
I burp literally constantly forcing it out so it doesn’t build up. I have an artery issue which will make me pass out if there’s too much gas build up😂😂 life’s wack with all of this.
Drinking water = burping because it forcing the air around I guess

Hey hey y’all, so I am healing SIBO dominant gasses for both, and currently have bad gastritis healing as well.
So I am killing with - Grape seed extract - GI Mixrob X designed for health
I tried antibiotics - hence it created gastritis
And I am feeling it killing it off ever day and when I take it with them I feel it killing with burning.
What else can I do to heal the gastritis while healing sibo. I do Sucralfate and DGL licorice for healing gastritis. Done this for over a year.
I take also BPC-157 with PEA. It helps to heal the stomach
I eat a higher carb diet and i feel it killing off the bacteria. I have tried low carb before and it laid them dormant. Everyone’s different
I ate strictly, oatmeal with a bucket ton of Peanut butter a day, sweet and normal potatoes with chicken, turkey and lobster for 8 months with little to no improvement and still do the same but I am now basically eating a lot more just nothing with grease or fried foods, No red meat(Alfagal)
I’ve changed up diet to see if anything acts different and it does not it all produces gas.
What else should I do to kill faster, I’ve been dealing with this off and on for about almost 2 years
I burp literally constantly forcing it out so it doesn’t build up. I have an artery issue which will make me pass out if there’s too much gas build up😂😂 life’s wack with all of this.
Drinking water = burping because it forcing the air around I guess

Species: Canine 1. Chip: 6 yo Male, Choc Lab, intact(scheduled neuter 5/23/24) Kennel Cough Confirmed on 5/9/24, All vaccines updated Aug.2023 Antibiotic and steroid- I’m out of town and don’t have Rx names, think one is Doxycycline?

1. Ringo: 8yo Male, Dachshund,altered,coughing and mild lethargy beginning 5/14/2024, All vaccines updated Aug. 2024
   
2. CeCe: 7 yo female, Cocker Spaniel, intact, no current symptoms, All vaccines updated Aug.2023
   
3. Honey: Approx 6 yo female, Shih tzu/Yorkie/Pom, Pregnant rescue at approx 18 mths-limited early history-altered, occasional history of GI upset/infection-severe neurological reaction to antibiotic, emergency proptosis repair Jan.2023, (playing w Ringo-dachshund) required round the clock care during recovery, refused food, water, unwilling to walk, depressed, lethargy, Made full recovery with no noted vision loss, However, she did begin to show symptoms of mild tracheal collapse(? ) which I first contributed to irritation from sedation, she has continued to occasionally “honk” but not persistent or indicative of medical intervention, basically, common breed occurrence.
   

Details: Our Choc Lab escaped from our privacy fence back yard on Thurs, May 2. All of our dogs wear riveted ID plate collars and on Wed May 1, Chip’s plate broke off. My husband ask me to go to get temporary hang ID the following day after an appt. Left appt for home to get daughters who would not miss trip to pet store. Dogs are crated when we leave our house, so it was when we went to crate them, we discovered Chip was gone. Knowing he didn’t have an ID, I immediately checked community FB and I was relieved to see that he had been found less than one block from our home and taken to our local shelter. The post had been made ab 2 hrs prior and I immediately drove across town to get him. His intake and discharge from shelter was less than 3 hrs. Exactly one week later, he began making a gagging like sound which overnight, evolved into classic kennel cough symptoms, along with what I feared was severe lethargy. Vet confirmed kennel cough, prescribed Rx and Chip made me look like an idiot bc he suddenly felt great riding in car and receiving love from vet office. He is taking 2 tab of antibiotic morn/night and steroid q 8hrs. He has greatly improved. At his appt I asked ab other dog’s exposure and was advised to call if became symptomatic.m Last night, Ringo (8yo dachshund) began honking/rasping and we will be calling vet as soon as they open. My question/concern I’m hoping you will answer is whether or not it is advisable to proceed to ask for prophylactic antibiotics for our other two dogs? I am very concerned that Honey, with her history of illness and brachiocephalic (poor) breeding is at a higher risk for severe complications. She doesn’t tolerate changes to routine and she also doesn’t tolerate anyone but our immediate family. She will refuse food and water if I’m away from home and has bouts of diarrhea that immediately resolve on my return. I mention this bc I have been out of town since Monday and I’m concerned that stress will increase the chance that she gets sick too. (I will be home this afternoon.) Should I ask for antibiotic for her? Is she at a higher risk for complications due to being brachiocephalic? What are the warnings for her?As of right now, CeCe (7 yo Cocker) isn’t showing symptoms and hopefully that will remain the same.
Thank you in advance if you spared your time to read and reply. After Honey’s emergency last year, I’m always fighting worse case scenario in the back of my mind, worried they’ll be sick, injured or worse. I appreciate you.

I’m 27 and This is only my second stone ever. Had my first about 2 months ago and it came and went literally in a couple of hours. I went from having terrible pain to passing it when I got to work. Now I have a 5mm in my right side and I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I had to miss work Monday, had to leave early to go to the ER yesterday, where I got officially diagnosed, and now it’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m soaking in a hot bath after waking up in tears from this damn thing.
They don’t know if it’ll pass on its own, and I’m supposed to have a follow up with a urologist within the next week, but what am I supposed to do about work? Fortunately my job is very understanding when it comes to medical issues, but it’s paying the bills that I’m worried about. You don’t even accrue a full week’s worth of PTO at this job in a year of working; and I’ve only been at this one since November. I’m sick of everyone telling me “it’ll be okay” because I literally live paycheck to paycheck and can barely afford to ever miss a day. I don’t even know how I’m going to handle the medical bills, as my insurance isn’t good either, and I have the highest deductible you can legally have for an individual plan.
It’s a desk job; I take phone calls, so if I can figure out a good pain management course, I should be able to go, but I’m just not sure what that is. I’m told 800mg of Ibuprofen every 6 hours, but that I can’t do that often or I’ll get an ulcer. The ER prescribed Norco and Flomax, as well as antibiotic since my white count was a little elevated.

Greetings and thanks in advance for any advice you can give me. Two days ago (may 13) I woke up and went to the bathroom only to have a sudden onset of the most intense pain in my life on my mid right abdomen to my flank and back. I went to the ER where they did a UA which showed possible uti and sent me home with antibiotics and norco. I was still in 10/10 pain so I followed up with urgent care in the morning where they did further work up that showed hydronephrosis. They gave me a script for Phenergan q6hr and norco that I could take q4hrs but it wears off at the 2.5 hour mark. Currently, I am still in immense pain that I can hardly move. I also haven't eaten in 2 days. How long should I expect this kind of debilitating pain to last and when should I follow up if it doesn't go away?
Other info: 5'5 and 170 lb. 16 weeks pregnant. Currently on 1 tab norco q4hr and Phenergan q6hr.

Info about me before going on:

• 350 lbs (Been working on losing weight, and am down from my high a few years ago of 395ish)
• 42 Male
• No prior heart conditions, no diabetes, normal blood pressure, no family history of clotting issues. My grandma did die of heart failure but that was brought on by heavy antibiotics for months due to a separate unrelated issue, and grandpa passed awar after 3 strokes in short succession (but they didnt happen until he was 80).
• Was diagnosed via home test for sleep apnea in 2020, but the testing hardware was hard for me to get set up right and I was concerned with the results being accurate. On top of that, they never got back to me after multiple times reaching out about a CPAP machine so I kinda gave up.

So, a bit of a summary -- I woke up yesterday around 5:30 AM (normalish time for me, I'm usually between 5:30 and 6). My throat felt a little weird but that's not abnormal when I wake up -- the air gets a bit dry in the room. Something told me to check my pulse so I put my fingers on my wrist and the pulse seemed weird so I went to put on my Apple Watch and checked on that.
First reading sadd 149 BPM and AFib. I felt fine other than my throat being weird. I figured maybe I was startled awake by a bad dream I didn't remember, so I went about feeding my cats like usual, then went to go feed a friend's cats as she was out of town, figuring I'd call my doctor as the watch said if it didn't clear up. So as I went to the car I checked again and my heart rate was at 160. I decided as I was leaving to drive myself straight to the ER.
They were very fast at getting me in and within like 5 minutes of my arriving and getting checked in. The initial ECG had the following results:

Test Reason : Palpitations Blood Pressure : / mmHG Vent. Rate : 148 BPM Atrial Rate : 170 BPM P-R Int : * ms QRS Dur : 92 ms QT Int : 292 ms P-R-T Axes : * -14 14 degrees QTc Int : 458 ms Atrial fibrillation with rapid ventricular response

They took me to a room, started an IV, and went with 3 5mg doses of Metoprolol to try to bring the heart rate down but it only came down to the high 140s/low 150s. So they gave me the option of medication and trying to wait it out or cardioversion then and there. I chose to go with cardioversion because I wanted this fixed asap.
It worked and got me back down to my normal rate around 70, and I've been there since yesterday morning. All things said, the incident lasted for around 4 hours (maybe more if it started while I was sleeping). But It's had me completely wiped out. They also have me set up with a cardiology referral and I should hear back from them in a day or two. But the past couple of days have been spent with me trying to do research and understand this better. But I do have a few questions:

1. When I talk to the cardiologist, what should I be asking them? Anything I should be aware of that may call into question their judgment?
2. I know from reading here I should also look into an EP. I'm based out of Madison WI -- anyone have any recommendations for someone in the area?
3. I'm hoping to be able to get back to work tomorrow -- I work from home but was completely wiped out today. Am I being too aggressive with getting back to work?
4. I know Blood thinners are a common treatment here, but I'm quite...anxious about them. I have 5 cats and, no matter how much I try, avoiding scratches with them is virtually impossible. Am I going to need to be super cautions with them now? Do I need to worry about any scratches I get?
5. I have been trying to go to the gym lately and walk around 1.5 to 2 miles at a decent pace. I aim for a heart rate of 150 BPM at the peak and try to maintain that for about 5 minutes before I go back down to 120-125ish. Is this still safe for me to do? If not, what should I be aiming for?

I'll probably have more questions but this post has gone on long enough. I appreciate anyone that takes a look at this offering their thoughts.

Hey guys, got diagnosed with ADHD a month ago. 2 weeks ago I got Ritalin LA 20mg (my weight is 85kg, Male)
The effect was pretty nice, I got many things fixed, more focus, all of the good stuff. So experience was 90% just awesome.
But I had 2 problems: First I had problems with eating, so I ate less, but I was not able to eat much more than maybe 1000-1500 calories, most of the time only a third of my plate, then I felt sick. Also after 4-5 days i started to experience severe nausea, especially after sport, so that I had to stop working out at day 6, cause I knew I’m gonna puke if I do one more rep. On day 7 I threw up twice. After that I stopped cause I became sick with bronchitis and my doctor said that the antibiotics already put much strain on my body. Is this normal? My psychiatrist just shrugged it off and told me I’m gonna get used to it, but it felt a little bit insensitive?
Second problem is that when I take it at 8 am, I’m crashing hard at around 4/5pm and feel pretty bad. I heard there are other options like concerta or elvanse? Are these maybe better?should I suggest to switch?
Also he just prescribed it to me for 7 days a week, a friend who also has adhd said that it’s not normal for him, cause his psychiatrist was very adamant about tolerance breaks once a week or just using it Monday to Friday?

I’m 24 years old, female, and 5’8” tall. I have POTS and genetically elevated cholesterol (diagnosed at 10). My gall bladder was removed at age 18 because it was functioning at 13% and causing problems. I take Atorvastatin, Bystolic, and Fludrocortisone with an over the counter iron supplement for my periods and over the counter vitamin D3. I was recently diagnosed with a UTI due to UTI symptoms (burning and cramping during and after urinating with urinary frequency and urgency) during an online care visit. After almost being done with the course of antibiotics, the pain spread to my mid back.
I’ve been extremely nauseous and experiencing diarrhea. This happens every time I eat, regardless of whether I take my antibiotic or not. I have thrown up and am having trouble eating. My blood pressure kept dropping very low (around 79/47). In a follow up visit, I was sent to the emergency room to check for a kidney infection and sepsis.
At the hospital, my blood pressure came back up and my bloodwork + urinalysis came back normal, except my BUN and creatinine are too low and my urine is “cloudy.” My BUN is 3 mg/dL and my creatinine is 0.57 mg/dL. The emergency room conducted a CT scan to check for kidney stones and possible infection, but the imaging appears normal. The doctor remarked that my area of sensitivity “is classic with kidneys” when feeling my abdomen. No one has spoken with me about my bloodwork, next steps, etc. so I was wondering if this bloodwork should be followed up on or if there’s no reason to worry about low BUN and low creatinine. I’m not feeling any better and the cramping is very painful. However, I don’t have a primary care provider in my state and there are none in network accepting new patients anywhere near here, so I don’t have a lot of options of people to follow up on this with except urgent care providers.