Marine girlfriend sayings
The most irrelevant protoss
2015.05.21 19:38 KarmaDriVe The most irrelevant protoss
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2024.05.29 06:41 Trash-Can- can we die
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2024.05.29 06:39 Outside-Reference850 AITJ for posting a picture of my guy best friend?
Need opinions as I am increasingly confused.
One of my (18F) best friends (18M) is a guy we can call Kevin. Kevin was seriously one of my closest friends, someone who could give me brutal truth and honesty, great advice, reciprocate my sense of humour and talk about any topic to.
Kevin and I first met in grade 8 where he was the new kid at my old school and I was one of his first friends. Kevin and I lived in the same area, which is a trek to my old school, and was one of the only kids my age I knew in that area, so we became fast friends and close. Kevin, at one point in year 9 (ages ago), had a crush on me, but I rejected him bc I knew our friendship was better than that, and nothing of that nature has come up since.
In late year 10, Kevin got a girlfriend, Alanna (now 18F). I’ve moved schools and Kevin is one of the only people I’m still in contact with, and now my only friend who lives in my area, so we continue our friendship meeting up every month or so for a run, coffee and gossip about our old school. Alanna never comes up in convo except when I ask how she is, and he says good, what she’s been up to, end of discussion.
Flash forward to present day, Kevin broke up with Alanna 2 weeks ago bc of undisclosed reasons (I never asked). Kevin is permanently leaving for the Air Force soon so he came up to Canberra so we could meet one last time, so we met up with a few other old guy friends and hung out. A few days later I post a photo dump on insta of activities and photos of my family and friends from the past month, on the very last slide is one of Kevin from that Canberra meet-up. Kevin messages me a few days after the post, saying that it was “extremely upsetting” for Alanna, and to take it down. He continues to say that he should’ve never hung out with me at all during his relationship, bc he did it seeking “validation” and “attention”, which is a wild fucking thing to say, and a bit of a punch to the gut tbh, bc im not a yes man, all I ever did was treat him like I treated all my female friends and I viewed our friendship as a genuine thing and not whatever he apparently sees it as. Anyways, he says “I’m not sure if I can talk to you for quite a while, you’ve been an incredible friend to me, and I hope that everything works out really well for you” which kinda makes it seem like im being cut off for being the toxic one?? And now im just confused, are we no longer friends? And should I be ok with that considering all our friendship was to him was a source of validation and attention? But I am genuinely curious, AITA for posting that photo?
submitted by Outside-Reference850 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]
One of my (18F) best friends (18M) is a guy we can call Kevin. Kevin was seriously one of my closest friends, someone who could give me brutal truth and honesty, great advice, reciprocate my sense of humour and talk about any topic to.
Kevin and I first met in grade 8 where he was the new kid at my old school and I was one of his first friends. Kevin and I lived in the same area, which is a trek to my old school, and was one of the only kids my age I knew in that area, so we became fast friends and close. Kevin, at one point in year 9 (ages ago), had a crush on me, but I rejected him bc I knew our friendship was better than that, and nothing of that nature has come up since.
In late year 10, Kevin got a girlfriend, Alanna (now 18F). I’ve moved schools and Kevin is one of the only people I’m still in contact with, and now my only friend who lives in my area, so we continue our friendship meeting up every month or so for a run, coffee and gossip about our old school. Alanna never comes up in convo except when I ask how she is, and he says good, what she’s been up to, end of discussion.
Flash forward to present day, Kevin broke up with Alanna 2 weeks ago bc of undisclosed reasons (I never asked). Kevin is permanently leaving for the Air Force soon so he came up to Canberra so we could meet one last time, so we met up with a few other old guy friends and hung out. A few days later I post a photo dump on insta of activities and photos of my family and friends from the past month, on the very last slide is one of Kevin from that Canberra meet-up. Kevin messages me a few days after the post, saying that it was “extremely upsetting” for Alanna, and to take it down. He continues to say that he should’ve never hung out with me at all during his relationship, bc he did it seeking “validation” and “attention”, which is a wild fucking thing to say, and a bit of a punch to the gut tbh, bc im not a yes man, all I ever did was treat him like I treated all my female friends and I viewed our friendship as a genuine thing and not whatever he apparently sees it as. Anyways, he says “I’m not sure if I can talk to you for quite a while, you’ve been an incredible friend to me, and I hope that everything works out really well for you” which kinda makes it seem like im being cut off for being the toxic one?? And now im just confused, are we no longer friends? And should I be ok with that considering all our friendship was to him was a source of validation and attention? But I am genuinely curious, AITA for posting that photo?
2024.05.29 06:35 Charming-Emu-2468 Arizona Custody
My ex and I (never been married) had a son in 2022. Prior to having him he began exhibiting mental health issues and started taking medication (inconsistently). He also developed a gambling addiction and lost probably over $20,000 in just a few months. His parents were abusive and he grew up in a broken home so I figured he didn’t know any better and wanted to help him get on the right path. After I had my son things got significantly worse. He didn’t want to help me with him, he didn’t want to get up at night, and he would scream and throw things at me, and call me belittling names all in front of him. In September of 2022 after getting into an argument, he went into our garage and turned his car on with the garage door down and tried to end his life. I ended up calling my parents frantically who came over and were able to help calm him down. Things continued to get worse and by August of 2023 I had finally had enough and chose to separate. I moved in with my parents and we have been keeping things out of the court and just between us since then. I have allowed him to see him every other weekend along with one night during the week given my son’s age and development. Fast forward to January of 2024 I decided I wanted to work things out with him because he would threaten custody and that he was going to take my son and I just felt like I had to way the risk of not seeing my son over being with him. I moved back in with him in May but we only lasted a week as he continued down the same pattern of name calling, throwing things, screaming, slamming doors and putting me down. I decided I was going to leave (again) and he got really upset and said once again he was going to end his life. My mom was on the phone with me a the time and heard him say that He’s also said things like he’s going to leave the state and join the marines and to take care of our son and that I would never see him again. I never text messages of him saying these things along with saying he has mental health and anger management issues. After moving out I hadn’t heard from him for a week and now he has petitioned to get 50/50 custody of our son. In addition to this his dad has even said to myself and my parents that our son is better off with me. I don’t trust him having him at this state right now.
My son has been with me since he was born and I am his primary caretaker as my job allows me to be home with him more than his.
Given all of that, what are the chances he ends up with 50/50? Especially given my sons age and his fathers mental health ** I want to add I am in the process of hiring an attorney in just trying to be prepared for what I should expect in this process
submitted by Charming-Emu-2468 to FamilyLaw [link] [comments]
My son has been with me since he was born and I am his primary caretaker as my job allows me to be home with him more than his.
Given all of that, what are the chances he ends up with 50/50? Especially given my sons age and his fathers mental health ** I want to add I am in the process of hiring an attorney in just trying to be prepared for what I should expect in this process
2024.05.29 06:34 Real_Cheetah6189 Help Girlfriend won’t discipline her kid
I M(26) and my girlfriend F(28) have been dating for a couple months and she has a 7 year old boy who will turn 8 this year. I have no kids and have never been with a girl with a kid. She does not discipline him at all and he does not listen. She just slightly raises her voice at him and tells him to stop all annoyed like as if he’s her little brother and let’s everything slide.
We went on a walk today and he usually will be in front of her with his scooter. But he was throwing a fit for no reason slamming his scooter on the sidewalk not wanting to listen when she would say stop/come. We would continue to walk and he would stand there being bad not following us. Then when he finally got in front he would go really far to the point we couldn’t see him and I would get worried and speed walk to catch up to him. He would cross the street by himself. She would just raise her voice and say stop but man when I tell you this would boil my blood. I insisted she should discipline him more and what she should try to do like maybe take his iPad away. She says she just calls him ungrateful and that she’ll stop being his mommy as tactics to discipline him but I see that as extremely dumb and ineffective. When we finally caught up to him she didn’t say anything to him and kept it moving.
Worst part is he still talks as if he’s a toddler and gets babied so much by his mom and his grandma that he feels as if he can get away with anything. Hearing and seeing an almost 8 year old act like this really pisses me off cause I would’ve got whooped for stuff like that.
My first time meeting him he was glued to his iPad the entire time at the restaurant and would not say anything back to me because of the iPad. We then came to my apartment and he started running around everywhere throwing a temper tantrum and hiding under my bed frame like kid seriously this is how you act at strangers houses for the first time?
He throws fits all the time and is very emotional and his mom just says I’ll put him in therapy one day. I know he likes me cause I show interest in his hobbies/life and he says I’m really nice. But he just acts like a little toddler.
She also has a rescue dog who is traumatized and barks at everyone including me and runs away/barks every time I’m over, which is kind of annoying as well but I feel bad she’s a rescue and I love dogs personally but she doesn’t like me/anyone.
Also my gf’s mom is very strict and takes advantage that she doesn’t pay rent so she doesn’t let her see me as much cause she insists my gf has responsibilities and can’t always watch after her dog/son
Im very good with kids and I pretty much raised my little brother who is 15 years younger than me. When my parents wouldn’t discipline him, I would and taught him a lot. I would be patient but also very firm with him and stop doing nice things for him if he would act up. But the thing is I can’t do jack shit with her kid cause I have no place to say or do anything. Also the kids dad isn’t in his life neither is his grandpa and you can tell he was raised by girls cause he even talks with a little sass like his mommy (which If it were my kid I would talk more manly with and be a good male role model) I get it you can’t control gayness but as a normal heterosexual male you would want your male kid to be straight/talk more boyish as well no judgement zone though!
I dont know what to do and if I should continue this relationship. I really like her and he’s not ALWAYS around but he will be more and more especially when we move in together down the line plus her dog.
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We went on a walk today and he usually will be in front of her with his scooter. But he was throwing a fit for no reason slamming his scooter on the sidewalk not wanting to listen when she would say stop/come. We would continue to walk and he would stand there being bad not following us. Then when he finally got in front he would go really far to the point we couldn’t see him and I would get worried and speed walk to catch up to him. He would cross the street by himself. She would just raise her voice and say stop but man when I tell you this would boil my blood. I insisted she should discipline him more and what she should try to do like maybe take his iPad away. She says she just calls him ungrateful and that she’ll stop being his mommy as tactics to discipline him but I see that as extremely dumb and ineffective. When we finally caught up to him she didn’t say anything to him and kept it moving.
Worst part is he still talks as if he’s a toddler and gets babied so much by his mom and his grandma that he feels as if he can get away with anything. Hearing and seeing an almost 8 year old act like this really pisses me off cause I would’ve got whooped for stuff like that.
My first time meeting him he was glued to his iPad the entire time at the restaurant and would not say anything back to me because of the iPad. We then came to my apartment and he started running around everywhere throwing a temper tantrum and hiding under my bed frame like kid seriously this is how you act at strangers houses for the first time?
He throws fits all the time and is very emotional and his mom just says I’ll put him in therapy one day. I know he likes me cause I show interest in his hobbies/life and he says I’m really nice. But he just acts like a little toddler.
She also has a rescue dog who is traumatized and barks at everyone including me and runs away/barks every time I’m over, which is kind of annoying as well but I feel bad she’s a rescue and I love dogs personally but she doesn’t like me/anyone.
Also my gf’s mom is very strict and takes advantage that she doesn’t pay rent so she doesn’t let her see me as much cause she insists my gf has responsibilities and can’t always watch after her dog/son
Im very good with kids and I pretty much raised my little brother who is 15 years younger than me. When my parents wouldn’t discipline him, I would and taught him a lot. I would be patient but also very firm with him and stop doing nice things for him if he would act up. But the thing is I can’t do jack shit with her kid cause I have no place to say or do anything. Also the kids dad isn’t in his life neither is his grandpa and you can tell he was raised by girls cause he even talks with a little sass like his mommy (which If it were my kid I would talk more manly with and be a good male role model) I get it you can’t control gayness but as a normal heterosexual male you would want your male kid to be straight/talk more boyish as well no judgement zone though!
I dont know what to do and if I should continue this relationship. I really like her and he’s not ALWAYS around but he will be more and more especially when we move in together down the line plus her dog.
2024.05.29 06:31 SoftDoughnut7963 Would you stay or is this not salvageable?
I wanted to post here for feedback. I've posted before on other subs but I wanted to see what people's perspectives on this sub are.
I have been with my partner for 15 years and we have 2 children together. We were each others first everything. Our relationship has been very volatile at times and more than our share of ups and downs. I think we became attached and "fell in love" too quickly in the beginning, but over the years we've probably fallen out of love and if we're being honest our children are our main reason we're trying to stay together. We've recently been trying to work on our relationship more and it's helped a bit.
So 2 months ago I contacted a female my partner worked with 14 years ago while he was a manager at a retail store. I had always been uneasy about their working relationship but pushed my intuition aside for many years. She messaged me back and was very candid and open that they had been sleeping together nearly the entire year they worked together. She did not know he had a girlfriend(me) at that time. She said they would have sex every few weeks either in the office after closing alone together, in the car after work, or at her place. For a year. She said he told her he didn't have texting on his phone(he lied) so they only arranged things at work or over the phone. They never went on dates or anything but flirted and made out at work frequently and hooked up every few weeks. She figures they had sex a minimum of a dozen times from February until NovembeDecember when he quit suddenly and essentially ghosted her.
I confronted my partner about this and he at first denied it, saying she was crazy and making it up, that she was bitter, etc. I called him on this obvious BS, and eventually he admitted he vaguely remembers sleeping with her ~4 times during that year, but says the only times he actually remembers were during a time we had been broken up for 3 months later that year. She says it was the entire year. He also denies remembering pursuing her at work when he first started there, as she said he did. He doesn't remember giving her his number in the beginning either. He doesn't remember ever having sex with her in the car or at work or making out with her at work. She says it was pretty frequent making out and they definitely had sex in those places, but he only remembers it happening at her place. He essentially doesn't remember any kind of cheating on me, but says his gut tells him he did.
He described the times he remembers sleeping with her as "not good sex", that he wasn't really interested in her, wasn't really attracted to her, was just using her for the ego boost of feeling desired. Yet she describes the sex very differently, that he was definitely enjoying himself, that they would cuddle afterwards and he was affectionate to her. Not to mention the excitement factor from sex in the office or car. His account and her account couldn't be more different but I absolutely believe her because she was very apologetic and didn't initially want to give me the details, she never knew she was the other woman. She was hurt when he quit suddenly and ghosted her.
My partner came clean about another incident 11 years ago when I was pregnant with our second baby. He had gone out to a bar with coworkers and got drunk and went back to one woman's place where she gave him oral before he lost his erection and she drove him back. However I contacted her after his confession and she said that he gave her oral as well, but there was in fact no penetration but he did sleep over.
He swears up and down he can't remember the cheating from 14 years ago, that it's all hazy. He's been a chronic weed smoker and steroid user since I met him, if that has anything to do with it. I find it impossible to believe he doesn't remember actually cheating on me. It's convenient he only remembers the sex that happened while we were broken up.
Is this something I should be able to move on from? Given the fact we've been together for so long and he hasn't done anything shady(that I know of) in the last 10 years and we have children together and just bought a house. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I'm utterly destroyed but I don't want to break up my kids lives if there's any other way.
I'm upset that he was never going to tell me any of this, always denied any time I brought up feeling uneasy or suspicious. My intuition always told me there was something there. Hes always had an excessive porn habit and used to have a habit of checking out other women in front of me, sometimes to "get back" at me for thinking I did the same thing(I've never been that type, never cheated or looked at other men), or even telling me how many attractive women he worked with who would "line up" to be with him. Throughout our relationship he used to constantly accuse me of cheating on him, now I understand it was projection and I think I knew it even then but was too cowardly to face it.
Sorry this is so long. Do you think time has changed him? He cheated when he was 23 years old and then again later the ONS when he was 26. I don't ever want to go through this again, I don't know if I believe he won't cheat again and I don't 100% believe he doesn't remember the first time he cheated on me. And if he does remember but just doesn't want to admit it then that means he's dodging accountability.
submitted by SoftDoughnut7963 to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
I have been with my partner for 15 years and we have 2 children together. We were each others first everything. Our relationship has been very volatile at times and more than our share of ups and downs. I think we became attached and "fell in love" too quickly in the beginning, but over the years we've probably fallen out of love and if we're being honest our children are our main reason we're trying to stay together. We've recently been trying to work on our relationship more and it's helped a bit.
So 2 months ago I contacted a female my partner worked with 14 years ago while he was a manager at a retail store. I had always been uneasy about their working relationship but pushed my intuition aside for many years. She messaged me back and was very candid and open that they had been sleeping together nearly the entire year they worked together. She did not know he had a girlfriend(me) at that time. She said they would have sex every few weeks either in the office after closing alone together, in the car after work, or at her place. For a year. She said he told her he didn't have texting on his phone(he lied) so they only arranged things at work or over the phone. They never went on dates or anything but flirted and made out at work frequently and hooked up every few weeks. She figures they had sex a minimum of a dozen times from February until NovembeDecember when he quit suddenly and essentially ghosted her.
I confronted my partner about this and he at first denied it, saying she was crazy and making it up, that she was bitter, etc. I called him on this obvious BS, and eventually he admitted he vaguely remembers sleeping with her ~4 times during that year, but says the only times he actually remembers were during a time we had been broken up for 3 months later that year. She says it was the entire year. He also denies remembering pursuing her at work when he first started there, as she said he did. He doesn't remember giving her his number in the beginning either. He doesn't remember ever having sex with her in the car or at work or making out with her at work. She says it was pretty frequent making out and they definitely had sex in those places, but he only remembers it happening at her place. He essentially doesn't remember any kind of cheating on me, but says his gut tells him he did.
He described the times he remembers sleeping with her as "not good sex", that he wasn't really interested in her, wasn't really attracted to her, was just using her for the ego boost of feeling desired. Yet she describes the sex very differently, that he was definitely enjoying himself, that they would cuddle afterwards and he was affectionate to her. Not to mention the excitement factor from sex in the office or car. His account and her account couldn't be more different but I absolutely believe her because she was very apologetic and didn't initially want to give me the details, she never knew she was the other woman. She was hurt when he quit suddenly and ghosted her.
My partner came clean about another incident 11 years ago when I was pregnant with our second baby. He had gone out to a bar with coworkers and got drunk and went back to one woman's place where she gave him oral before he lost his erection and she drove him back. However I contacted her after his confession and she said that he gave her oral as well, but there was in fact no penetration but he did sleep over.
He swears up and down he can't remember the cheating from 14 years ago, that it's all hazy. He's been a chronic weed smoker and steroid user since I met him, if that has anything to do with it. I find it impossible to believe he doesn't remember actually cheating on me. It's convenient he only remembers the sex that happened while we were broken up.
Is this something I should be able to move on from? Given the fact we've been together for so long and he hasn't done anything shady(that I know of) in the last 10 years and we have children together and just bought a house. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I'm utterly destroyed but I don't want to break up my kids lives if there's any other way.
I'm upset that he was never going to tell me any of this, always denied any time I brought up feeling uneasy or suspicious. My intuition always told me there was something there. Hes always had an excessive porn habit and used to have a habit of checking out other women in front of me, sometimes to "get back" at me for thinking I did the same thing(I've never been that type, never cheated or looked at other men), or even telling me how many attractive women he worked with who would "line up" to be with him. Throughout our relationship he used to constantly accuse me of cheating on him, now I understand it was projection and I think I knew it even then but was too cowardly to face it.
Sorry this is so long. Do you think time has changed him? He cheated when he was 23 years old and then again later the ONS when he was 26. I don't ever want to go through this again, I don't know if I believe he won't cheat again and I don't 100% believe he doesn't remember the first time he cheated on me. And if he does remember but just doesn't want to admit it then that means he's dodging accountability.
2024.05.29 06:25 SurpriseAvailable420 AITA for not hugging my brother when he got back from a road trip?
I (f 15) have a sister (23) who will be going on a trip to another country for her job with the USMC (United States Marine Corps) Which she has a chance of not coming back from, like all US led operations. My brother (18) is graduating this year and this was the last chance for him and her to hang out before she left for the mission, by the time she will be home my brother will be in the army and will be stationed in an unknown as of now place. My sister wanted to take my brother on a road trip in which he would have to fly home, note, I'm to young to fly without an adult was the reason my parents gave me. It didn't click until after he was gone that he was 18 now and I could fly with him. I am really scared about my sister not coming home and so I had texted her telling how I felt about the situation. The text read, "The reason I'm so mad about you and brother right now is that if you don't f****** come back I don't get to have you at my graduation or for my graduation at all so this is like an unfair situation and I understand that it's not ideal and that you likely are going to come back but there's always that what if chance and if that what if chance f****** happens I'm never going to forgive myself or you" Which she responded with, "I have to take to take what time and situations I have and use them. I think it’s totally fair to give this to brother for graduation since I can’t be there. Three years from now if I get to be at your graduation, I would say that’s unfair to brother because I don’t get to be at his. I can’t control that brother was born before you and that he graduates first. Everything will be okay either way. " My sister is kick booty but there is still the chance that she won't come home. So we dropped my brother off at my sister's house and they go on their trip, brother keeps s being me texts and photos bragging about how he gets to do this with her before she's gone and she lives me more than I you ect. I soon find out that they went to the Indianapolis 500 without me which is one of my biggest dreams. So when he got home he was giving everyone their gifts and when he gave me mine, it was substantially cheaper than my parents gifts. It was a keychain, with my name, spelled the wrong way. I smiled and pretended to love it as I put it on my purse. He asked for a hug and I told him that I still wasn't happy that he went on the trip in the first place, then to add to the situation, you went and saw the Indie 500 without me. And I don't want a hug right now. He started yelling saying, "You're just ungrateful, you should even be happy I got you something."
I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?
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I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?
2024.05.29 06:22 imsahil37 I lied to her (twice) and now she's not talking to me. What should I do?
I'm in a lovely relationship with my girlfriend for the last 4 years. There's this friend of ours (actually our past classmate - Friend X). I used to like her (X) in school before my girlfriend. But now I love my girlfriend with all my heart. But still I feel uneasy telling my girlfriend about when I and X meet without her.
Actually it started before 2 years, when I and X met along with other friends but my girlfriend couldn't come. I got a bit close to X while clicking photos at that time and it was all my fault and still regret it to today. I apologised for my mistake and promised her that I'll never do anything like this from now on. She forgave me and then we've been through ups and downs in long distance for these 2 years but we're still nice and a loving couple.
But as I told, now I feel uneasy about telling her if we meet without her. But the thing is when we all meet, X and my girlfriend keep talking to each other. X is also a good friend of mine so I wanted to meet her too and talk to her as I have moved to another city for studies. But I hesitated to meet alone thinking my girlfriend might not like it although she says she trusts me and everything is fine now. But still, I still haven't come over that hesitation now.
And due to that, today when I finally decided to meet X when she was going to college, I thought of going with her too but couldn't tell my girlfriend about it since she slept early yesterday. The thing is while returning my girlfriend was also coming back from college, so, I asked her where she is so that we could also meet. She asked me why I'm here at the metro, and at that moment, due to hesitation, I actually lied to her that I went to somewhere else due to some work. I and X met in auto riksha only and then we both went opposite ways at the metro (because otherwise I would've picked my girlfriend from her station). But actually I was coming after dropping X even after my girlfriend's station. But since I had already lied to her I waited at other station.
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Actually it started before 2 years, when I and X met along with other friends but my girlfriend couldn't come. I got a bit close to X while clicking photos at that time and it was all my fault and still regret it to today. I apologised for my mistake and promised her that I'll never do anything like this from now on. She forgave me and then we've been through ups and downs in long distance for these 2 years but we're still nice and a loving couple.
But as I told, now I feel uneasy about telling her if we meet without her. But the thing is when we all meet, X and my girlfriend keep talking to each other. X is also a good friend of mine so I wanted to meet her too and talk to her as I have moved to another city for studies. But I hesitated to meet alone thinking my girlfriend might not like it although she says she trusts me and everything is fine now. But still, I still haven't come over that hesitation now.
And due to that, today when I finally decided to meet X when she was going to college, I thought of going with her too but couldn't tell my girlfriend about it since she slept early yesterday. The thing is while returning my girlfriend was also coming back from college, so, I asked her where she is so that we could also meet. She asked me why I'm here at the metro, and at that moment, due to hesitation, I actually lied to her that I went to somewhere else due to some work. I and X met in auto riksha only and then we both went opposite ways at the metro (because otherwise I would've picked my girlfriend from her station). But actually I was coming after dropping X even after my girlfriend's station. But since I had already lied to her I waited at other station.
And now at night again when she asked me why I went there for that work, my brother could've gone instead of me, I lied again due to that lie and extended it. But after she said fine in anger, I felt so wrong and just told her that I lied but with very wrong words saying like you also know i also know, I lied. After that she stopped responding and blocked my calls. Even I don't know what to say to her. I really love her only with all my life and would never break her trust. But still I just don't know why out of hesitation at that moment, I lied. It's all my fault and I accept it. It's the second time she felt hurt because of me and X. I know it's my fault but what should I do now?
TL;DR; : I went meeting my female friend who I used to like before my girlfriend 4 years back and lied about it to her due to hesitation (although I didn't want to) that I only met her in the way and went somewhere else then. At night, when she asked about it again, I lied again but when she said fine, I felt bad and said that I also know it, you also know it, I lied. Very wrong words for confession. Now she won't talk to me. What should I do? (Read the whole post please bcuz it's quite misleading)2024.05.29 06:21 SurpriseAvailable420 AITAH for not hugging my brother when he got home from a road trip?
I (f 15) have a sister (23) who will be going on a trip to another country for her job with the USMC (United States Marine Corps) Which she has a chance of not coming back from, like all US led operations. My brother (18) is graduating this year and this was the last chance for him and her to hang out before she left for the mission, by the time she will be home my brother will be in the army and will be stationed in an unknown as of now place. My sister wanted to take my brother on a road trip in which he would have to fly home, note, I'm to young to fly without an adult was the reason my parents gave me. It didn't click until after he was gone that he was 18 now and I could fly with him. I am really scared about my sister not coming home and so I had texted her telling how I felt about the situation. The text read, "The reason I'm so mad about you and brother right now is that if you don't f****** come back I don't get to have you at my graduation or for my graduation at all so this is like an unfair situation and I understand that it's not ideal and that you likely are going to come back but there's always that what if chance and if that what if chance f****** happens I'm never going to forgive myself or you" Which she responded with, "I have to take to take what time and situations I have and use them. I think it’s totally fair to give this to brother for graduation since I can’t be there. Three years from now if I get to be at your graduation, I would say that’s unfair to brother because I don’t get to be at his. I can’t control that brother was born before you and that he graduates first. Everything will be okay either way. " My sister is kick booty but there is still the chance that she won't come home. So we dropped my brother off at my sister's house and they go on their trip, brother keeps s being me texts and photos bragging about how he gets to do this with her before she's gone and she lives me more than I you ect. I soon find out that they went to the Indianapolis 500 without me which is one of my biggest dreams. So when he got home he was giving everyone their gifts and when he gave me mine, it was substantially cheaper than my parents gifts. It was a keychain, with my name, spelled the wrong way. I smiled and pretended to love it as I put it on my purse. He asked for a hug and I told him that I still wasn't happy that he went on the trip in the first place, then to add to the situation, you went and saw the Indie 500 without me. And I don't want a hug right now. He started yelling saying, "You're just ungrateful, you should even be happy I got you something."
I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?
submitted by SurpriseAvailable420 to AITAH [link] [comments]
I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?
2024.05.29 06:20 Count-Daring243 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/mhu3nmvnka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d1190501d20c5165d3a0b707061eb1fa082e63b Are you in search of an efficient and reliable cantilever mount for your latest project or venture? Look no further! In this roundup article, we'll be taking a close look at the top 30mm cantilever mounts on the market. Get ready to explore the features, benefits, and specifications of these mounts, and discover the perfect fit for your needs. Let's dive right in! The Top 19 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount
Reviews🔗Quick-Transition 30mm QD Optic Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/i126g2goka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=305cd1872f9ba57d531a59eeaaaa9fd2c8e12348 Whenever I hit the range with my trusty Super Precision 30mm optic mount, I've grown to rely on the Reptilia ROF-90 30mm APNT Micro. With its drop-in upgrade, I've found it a reliable addition for my tactical setup. This 30mm quick detach scope mount offers a mounting point at 90 degrees, allowing for a swift transition to my AIMPOINT Micro when I need to engage at close range. It's a versatile piece of gear that's never let me down. 🔗High-Quality 30mm QD Scope Mount with Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/zw3axnroka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eff6d0a28c5b1bb12bee2fb2d94e099f8c2f204f AUS Mount from Reptilia, for 30mm diameter magnified optics, is a beautifully crafted piece of machinery. This product is the result of a 2-year development program and it truly shows in its design and functionality. The finish, an Anodized Flat Dark Earth, gives it a sleek look that blends well with various M1913 Picatinny rails it can be attached to. This AUS Mount stands out due to the custom bolt mounting system with an anti-snag, spring-loaded, nitrided steel clamp. The clamp can be tightened using either a 5/32 hex or a flat blade driver for a low-profile, streamline design. The single piece of billet 7075-T6 aluminum, which it is made from, is further enhanced with the MIL-STD Type III Class 2 hard anodize coating. The AUS Mount is compatible with all of Reptilia's existing 30mm ROF line and will also work with several new ROF products launching soon. Despite its robust build and advanced tech, it is surprisingly lightweight and compatible with different optic configurations. While there is no denying the AUS Mount's capabilities and aesthetic appeal, users might still find the price a bit steep. Overall, this product is worth the price tag for those who prioritize high precision, durability, and a stylish touch in their magnified optics. 🔗Trijicon Q-LOC 30mm Cantilever Scope Mount with Black Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/868ai74pka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c22b8c36fe69a7357a0b5b409c14f21aab965c6 As a reviewer, I tested the Trijicon Cantilever Mount, Q-Loc, 30mm, Anodized Finish, Black, 1.93" Bore Height AC22051. It impressed me right off the bat with its sleek black anodized finish, which perfectly blended with my riflescope. This mount is solid and secure, providing a dependable hold even when I took aim under recoil. Yet, it stands out for its quick-release function. With a simple quarter-turn motion, I was able to detach and re-attach it effortlessly. The Q-Loc feature makes it incredibly convenient for frequent adjustments or storage. The Trijicon Cantilever Mount does have one downside: it's slightly heavier than some of its competitors. But overall, it was a reliable and functional addition to my setup. 🔗Portable Articulating Arm Wall Mount for 32" LCD TVshttps://preview.redd.it/9g26liipka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e02032c2dae8944e7842a40158465ffbb6c4b74c Imagine having a TV mount that doesn't just hold your screen in place, but also brings your entertainment to new heights. Master Mounts' Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is the epitome of functionality and elegance, fitting perfectly in any home or office setting. One of the most impressive features of this wall mount is its full motion capabilities. It adjusts to the perfect viewing angle, ensuring that you don't miss a single detail in your favorite shows or movies. But it's not just about convenience; the clean, contemporary design seamlessly blends with any decor, elevating the aesthetic of your space. Designed to fit TVs up to 37" with a VESA pattern up to 100x100, this wall mount can hold screens weighing up to 25 pounds. Plus, its unique design allows you to slide the articulating arm with the LCD screen attached onto another mounted wall bracket, giving you the flexibility to enjoy your screen in different locations throughout your home or office. However, be prepared for some assembly and installation. While the wall mount itself doesn't require any additional tools, you'll need a power drill and screwdriver for the installation process. And remember, you'll need an extra bracket to use this mount style in two separate places. Overall, the Master Mounts Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is a game-changer for those looking for versatility and style in their TV mounting solution. So, say goodbye to watching TV in the same old spot and embrace the convenience of the ultimate entertainment accessory. 🔗Durable 50-Pound Capacity Cantilever Storage Rack Bracketshttps://preview.redd.it/2j9jbxvpka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36163b7207e8e9bf915aabedb7145c7c0de9af51 These Cantilever brackets are a game-changer for any storage solution. Made of strong and sturdy steel, they can effortlessly hold up to 50 pounds each, fitting seamlessly onto Dewalt storage racks. The locking pins ensure secure attachment, even when stacking heavy materials. Their removable design allows for easy adjustment of height, and the end stops keep your belongings from rolling off the rack. The best part? . They're compatible with other brands too, a feature that sets them apart. 🔗Rack Mount Cantilever Shelf for 19" Standard Equipmenthttps://preview.redd.it/i2pq3iaqka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fffd0f2bce7bd4ce440b5cc3807b79d3deb76de As a tech enthusiast, I've had the pleasure of using the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount in my daily life. The 19-inch cantilever shelf easily fit my tower units, monitors, and other equipment, ensuring a tidy and organized workspace. The aluminum construction is both lightweight and durable, making it a perfect addition to my home office. One aspect I loved about this shelf is its cold-rolled steel construction combined with a powder coated finish. This not only adds to its sleek appearance but also protects it from rust and corrosion, ensuring it stays looking as good as new for a long time. With a maximum load capacity of 25LB, I had no issues mounting it securely on my 19-inch standard rack mount rack or cabinet. Despite its heavy-duty capacity, the cantilever shelf remains easy to install, thanks to its versatile and customizable nature. While the design is minimalistic and understated, it never compromises on functionality. Overall, the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount is a reliable, stylish, and practical solution for all your rack mount needs. 🔗Versatile Cantilever Desk Riser for Comfortable Workspace Adjustmentshttps://preview.redd.it/nl1yh4qqka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2323e991a19b8fc5f185ea4e31ab1665a4940f94 As someone who spends long hours at my desk, the Lorell Cantilever Desk Riser has been a game-changer for me. It features two separate platforms that keep my monitor and keyboard in a comfortable position, which has greatly reduced strain on my back and neck. The easy-to-use design allows for quick height adjustments, making it perfect for going from a seated position to standing. One of the things that stood out the most to me is how the desk riser doesn't take up too much space on my desk, unlike some other models I've tried. It's only 25 inches wide, which is perfect for accommodating my iMac 21-inch without any issues. The height-adjustable feature has also been really helpful in allowing me to enjoy the health benefits of standing while I work. Overall, I couldn't be happier with this purchase and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a versatile and comfortable desk riser. 🔗Black Steel Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base for Large Tables (26" x 26")https://preview.redd.it/ntpgqgarka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1204c6bbd860d105ee060d34f87e7d0451c629d After adding the Flat Tech CL2626281A Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base to my dining area, I must say it has made a significant improvement in the overall appearance of the room. The 26" x 26" base is perfect for holding a table that's up to 38 inches by 38 inches, providing stability while still maintaining the aesthetic appeal. The black powder-coated finish has been a wonderful feature, as it resists scratches and chips, ensuring a clean look in my home. However, even though it has a durable steel construction, I found that it could have been a bit taller to accommodate a larger table without any issues. But overall, this versatile and stylish wall mount has been a great addition to my dining space, making me feel proud of the functional and attractive design in my home. 🔗Medium-Duty Cantilever Rack with Adjustable Incline Armshttps://preview.redd.it/vtggn6nrka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cb86318c78a461acfb68528ba5b4edfd4f8871f As a DIY enthusiast, I recently tried the Vestil MIA-C-30 Medium Cantilever Incline Arm, and it has completely transformed my workspace. With its adjustable incline arms, it's become a breeze to store those hard-to-reach items off the ground. The 30-inch arm length fits perfectly in my limited space, and the steel frame construction gives me the durability that I need. The 500-pound capacity per arm is more than enough for my bar stock and tubing. The only downside is that it's not the most affordable option on the market, but its functionality and strength make it a worthwhile investment. 🔗Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axleshttps://preview.redd.it/chbcxl3ska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=179724fff62b98569ef99603d23041e731245374 I recently had the opportunity to test out the Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles with 30mm mounting holes. This robust little gadget impressed me from the get-go with its sleek design and sturdy build. The 30mm mounting holes make it versatile and compatible with a variety of crawler axles. One of the features that stood out to me is the cantilever mount, which provides a secure and precise connection between the steering servo and the crawler axle. This not only ensures smooth and efficient movement, but also adds a touch of elegance to the overall setup. However, I did notice that the installation process could be a bit more streamlined. A few users have mentioned that the screw holes could be more accurately aligned, which would make installation a breeze. But overall, this mount is a solid choice for anyone looking to upgrade their crawler axle steering servo setup. 🔗High-Quality 30MM Cantilever Mount for Marine Accessorieshttps://preview.redd.it/7gj87ngska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa2077dc278f008035816326b410ecf3bdbbadbc As a sailor, the importance of having a reliable and secure autopilot system cannot be overstated. So when it came time to replace the mounting socket for my autopilot, I decided to give the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket a try. The high-grade design stood out to me and, after a few weeks of using it, I can confidently say that it delivered on its promise of extended lifespan. One of the things that impressed me most during my first installation was how easy it was to fit on my autopilot. The 30mm cantilever hole was perfect, and with a simple cut and a few twists, the socket was securely in place. I also appreciated the sturdy design, which gave me the confidence that my autopilot would hold up during even the roughest sea conditions. However, there were a few minor drawbacks as well. After my first use, I had a bit of trouble with the mounting system. Even though the included epoxy was effective in securing the cap, I faced some difficulty getting rid of captured air. Eventually, I found a workaround that involved leaving some of the glue-free while inserting the cap, but I wouldn't say it was ideal. Overall, I'm satisfied with my purchase of the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket. It's a well-engineered product that delivers a rock-solid performance, and while it's priced a bit higher than some alternatives, it's worth it for the peace of mind it provides. 🔗Heavy-Duty Cantilever Rack for Efficient Material Handlinghttps://preview.redd.it/1tc8nxyska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b220884ad543cd2708f111a9250dde31060f3cf In my line of work, I often find myself dealing with heavy and bulky materials that need to be properly stowed away in the warehouse. That's why when I heard about the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack, I knew it was right up my alley. The first thing that caught my eye was its adjustable design, which provided me with the added flexibility I needed. Whether I had a single piece or a full load, this rack made it easy for me to align the arms perfectly. The pre-drilled holes and included hardware made the process even more streamlined, ensuring that my materials were safe and secure. One of the features that really stood out was the lips on the rack, which prevented any products from falling off. This little detail made a big difference in ensuring that my materials stayed in place, even under heavy loads. Of course, no product is without its drawbacks. For me, the one downside was the color, which was a bit loud for my taste. However, this is a minor detail that didn't affect the functionality or durability of the rack. Overall, the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack has been a lifesaver in my warehouse. Its versatility, durability, and customizable options have made it the go-to product for handling long, heavy materials. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to keep their workplace organized and efficient. 🔗Adjustable Rear Cantilever Brake for Cyclinghttps://preview.redd.it/sywx57gtka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e4bdf6a676857f1949d8680d4f3bd7b8612c6aa I recently had the chance to use the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire during a grueling mountain bike ride. After struggling with my previous brakes, these new ones made a world of difference. The adjustable brake toe and spring tension provided me with peace of mind when braking, especially during those high-speed descents. One of the things that stood out to me was the straddle wire inclusion. I found myself adjusting it frequently during my ride, which allowed me to fine-tune the brake tension to my liking. The Shimano Reference Number, BR-CT91, also showed me that this was a quality product that would last. Despite the overall positive experience, I did face a few minor issues. The installation process was a bit longer than I would've liked, and the straddle wire needed some fine-tuning to prevent any unwanted noises or vibrations. However, these issues were easily overcome, and the product's sturdiness and stopping power truly shone through. In conclusion, the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire proved to be an excellent choice for my mountain bike. Its adjustability, durability, and ease of installation made it a win for me, despite those minor hiccups during setup. 🔗Sturdy 30Mm Cantilever Mount for TVs (14-30 inches)https://preview.redd.it/jkzk02stka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed46f38285dffd6ac5224b74459d5d02b5e0d477 As a reviewer, I've been using the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount for my TV for quite some time now, and my experience with it has been nothing short of satisfying. Made of heavy-duty aluminum and steel, this mount is incredibly sturdy, providing reliable strength to hold up to 45 pounds, no matter the type of television I use. One of my favorite features is its compatibility with a wide range of TV sizes, including LED, LCD, OLED, and flat panel TVs from 14 to 30 inches. The full-motion design allows for easy manual adjustments, enabling me to find the perfect angle for an optimal viewing experience. The package comes with everything I need, including a user manual and hardware pack, making it a hassle-free setup process. However, one area where it falls short is the bubble level. It doesn't come included with the mount, so users might need to purchase it separately or rely on their own tools for ensuring a perfectly balanced positioning. Nonetheless, this minor inconvenience hasn't detracted from my overall positive experience with the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount. It truly is a reliable and user-friendly choice for any TV enthusiast. Buyer's GuideA 30mm Cantilever Mount, also known as a cantilever bracket or mount, is a type of hardware that is commonly used to support items such as shelves, railings, or other components. These mounts are designed to be strong, stable, and flexible, making them an excellent choice for a wide range of applications. In this guide, we will discuss the key features and considerations when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, as well as some general advice for using them. https://preview.redd.it/nlfo6lewka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b169a031c2bc19c1c1bc90edf94fc904a4ba8fa Materials and ConstructionWhen it comes to 30mm Cantilever Mounts, the materials and construction play a crucial role in their performance and durability. Some common materials used in the production of these mounts include high-grade steel, aluminum, and stainless steel. The choice of material will depend on the specific application, as well as factors such as resistance to corrosion, strength, and weight.The construction of the mount should also be taken into consideration. Look for mounts that have been designed using sturdy and robust manufacturing techniques, ensuring that the components are securely joined and can withstand the stresses and strain of regular use. Load CapacityOne of the most important factors to consider when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount is the load capacity. This refers to the amount of weight that the mount can safely support before it may become damaged or fail.Ensure that the mount you choose has a load capacity that is suitable for the specific application and the weight it will be expected to support. It is always better to opt for a mount with a higher load capacity than you may require, as this will provide additional peace of mind and ensure the safety of the items being supported. https://preview.redd.it/9gatvdrwka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26aa57c452facc32bf6abb340ac81a0df76180ac Adjustability and FlexibilityAnother important factor to consider when selecting a 30mm Cantilever Mount is adjustability and flexibility. Some mounts may be more versatile than others, offering the possibility to change the angle or orientation of the mount quickly and easily.Additionally, consider any accessories that may be available for the mount, such as extensions or additional support components. These can be helpful in expanding the mount's capabilities and ensuring its suitability for a wider range of applications. Installation and MaintenanceBefore purchasing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, be sure to research the installation process to ensure it is a good fit for your skill level and experience. Some mounts may be more complex to install than others, and there may be additional requirements or considerations to take into account.Regular maintenance is also important for ensuring the longevity and performance of your mount. Follow the manufacturer's recommendations for cleaning, lubricating, or replacing any components as necessary to keep your mount in prime condition. Choosing the right 30mm Cantilever Mount involves considering various factors, such as the materials and construction, load capacity, adjustability, installation, and maintenance requirements. By taking these factors into account, you can find a mount that is suitable for your specific needs and applications, ensuring safety, durability, and flexibility in its use. Finally, always remember to consult the manufacturer's guidelines and recommendations for installing, using, and maintaining your 30mm Cantilever Mount. This will help ensure you are using the equipment correctly and safely, and will help you get the most out of your investment. https://preview.redd.it/csty0i9xka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f173f79066cf90acb2c2b7cf0b65ce1778e38a3 FAQWhat is a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?A 30Mm Cantilever Mount is a type of mounting bracket used to support and hold industrial equipment and machinery, such as cameras, sensors, and other devices, on structures or surfaces. It is specifically designed to provide a robust and versatile mounting solution for heavy-duty applications where weight and stability are critical factors. https://preview.redd.it/hk7kd4nxka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33954c37353d1448b3dd026ba0e3b3230c71604c What materials are commonly used for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?30Mm Cantilever Mounts are typically made from high-strength materials such as stainless steel, aluminum, or carbon fiber to ensure durability, strength, and resistance to environmental factors. These materials also provide a lightweight and corrosion-resistant solution for a wide range of industrial applications.What are the different designs and configurations for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?There are various designs and configurations available for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts, depending on the specific needs and requirements of each application. Some common options include single-point, double-point, or triple-point cantilevers, fixed brackets, adjustable brackets, and specialty mounting systems compatible with specific equipment or surfaces.How can I choose the right 30Mm Cantilever Mount for my application?When selecting a 30Mm Cantilever Mount, consider factors such as the weight and size of the equipment, the surface material and structure providing support, the environmental conditions, and any additional mounting requirements. Consult with the manufacturer or a specialized expert to determine the most suitable design and configuration for your specific application.What are the installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?Installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount will depend on the specific design and configuration. Generally, installation involves mounting the bracket to the desired structure or surface using appropriate hardware, including bolts, nuts, and washers. Maintenance may include periodic inspections to check for any signs of wear or damage, as well as cleaning the mount and the attached equipment.How do 30Mm Cantilever Mounts help to improve industrial applications?30Mm Cantilever Mounts offer several advantages for industrial applications, such as improved weight capacity, stability, and versatility. They can accommodate heavy-duty equipment and provide stable support in challenging environments. Additionally, their modular designs allow for customization and flexibility, enabling the mounting of various types of equipment or additional features.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.29 06:19 These_Possibility_28 AITAH for wanting a harsher outcome on my gf’s best friend?
My girlfriend (19F) and I (18M) are getting married in a few weeks. We sent out invitations, but we didn't invite her best friend, "B." B and my girlfriend have known each other since elementary school but only became close in the last two years. I also knew B since elementary school, but we never spoke until we ended up in the same college elective. I introduced myself, and we had about five brief and general conversations. She seemed chill and nothing out of the ordinary.
Months later, I started dating my girlfriend. During a conversation, I found out that B had been badmouthing me to her. B didn't know my girlfriend and I were dating, and my girlfriend felt uncomfortable telling her because of B's negative comments. According to my girlfriend, whenever I was mentioned, B would make wild assumptions about me, like claiming I was trying to talk to a lot of girls. Every time I was slightly brought up, my girlfriend noticed a shift in B's tone, making it clear B didn't particularly like me. This was shocking because, in my brief interactions with B, I had been nothing but respectful, friendly, and polite.
Eight months into our relationship, I urged my girlfriend to tell B that we were dating. B apologized to me, saying she didn't mean any of it and tha just hates on people for fun. I dismissed her previous behavior, and we all hung out once after that, which went well. Months later, B asked my girlfriend about marriage and how she and I had probably talked about it. At that stage of our lives, we weren't thinking about marriage, so my girlfriend gave a general answer like, “We've talked a bit about it, but nothing serious yet. We're so young." According to my girlfriend, B spent hours insisting that she should give me an ultimatum about marriage, suggesting she should threaten to break up with me if I didn't commit. My girlfriend tried to change the topic, but B kept discussing it for hours.
Recently, my girlfriend and B had an argument about B's behavior. While I was giving my girlfriend advice, she received an Instagram message from B with a meme about a girl moving on from her ex, captioned with my name and laughing emojis. This felt like B was mocking our relationship. Given all this, I told my girlfriend I didn't want to invite B to our wedding unless she really wanted to.
My girlfriend was unsure since B has been her best friend for many years, but she didn't get mad at me for not sending an invitation to B, so we didn't. Now, B is bombarding me with messages, demanding to know why she wasn't invited and making me feel like I'm the bad guy.
NEW UPDATE: So since then everyone agreed with my take and not wanting to invite her to the wedding and I showed my gf and she agreed kinda. Now since then she and the best friend talked and my gf confronted her about everything.
Girlfriend: “Hey B, remember that post you sent me?”
B: “Yeah, what about it?”
Girlfriend: “Well, I was with him the other day, and he saw it too. We were both like, ‘What’s this?’ I felt weird about it and was wondering where it came from. Even though it seemed pretty straightforward, I was curious about what you meant by it.”
B: “Wait, omg, he saw that? He wasn’t supposed to see it!”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, but it was weird to send even if it was just for me.”
B: “Okay, it was purely a joke poking fun at the fact that we used to have fake beef.”
Girlfriend: “I get what you mean, but the post seemed like it was taking a dig at our relationship, not just a lighthearted joke about my boyfriend.”
B: “I understand why you feel weird about it now. I didn’t see it that way at all. My intention was different, but your feelings are valid.”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, but you know, it’s not a great feeling to see something like that. I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate you sending me stuff like that because he knows how close we are. It comes off as weird, like you’re against our relationship.”
B: “I completely get that. Please tell him I didn’t mean it that way at all. I’m just silly and send stupid posts all the time.”
Girlfriend: “Okay, I’ll let him know. But what’s your plan going forward?”
B: “I’m definitely going to try to be more mindful about what I’m sending. I didn’t think about how it would look, even though it was straightforward to interpret. I maybe want to have a chat with him as well to sort things out and show I’m apologetic. But I’ll sleep on it first because this is a lot.”
Although she’s not invited my gf is reconsidering inviting her which somewhat annoys me. My gf doesn’t have many friends so I understand why she doesn’t wanna let go of her but at the same time I was hoping for more of a harsh outcome rather than this casual conversation.
submitted by These_Possibility_28 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Months later, I started dating my girlfriend. During a conversation, I found out that B had been badmouthing me to her. B didn't know my girlfriend and I were dating, and my girlfriend felt uncomfortable telling her because of B's negative comments. According to my girlfriend, whenever I was mentioned, B would make wild assumptions about me, like claiming I was trying to talk to a lot of girls. Every time I was slightly brought up, my girlfriend noticed a shift in B's tone, making it clear B didn't particularly like me. This was shocking because, in my brief interactions with B, I had been nothing but respectful, friendly, and polite.
Eight months into our relationship, I urged my girlfriend to tell B that we were dating. B apologized to me, saying she didn't mean any of it and tha just hates on people for fun. I dismissed her previous behavior, and we all hung out once after that, which went well. Months later, B asked my girlfriend about marriage and how she and I had probably talked about it. At that stage of our lives, we weren't thinking about marriage, so my girlfriend gave a general answer like, “We've talked a bit about it, but nothing serious yet. We're so young." According to my girlfriend, B spent hours insisting that she should give me an ultimatum about marriage, suggesting she should threaten to break up with me if I didn't commit. My girlfriend tried to change the topic, but B kept discussing it for hours.
Recently, my girlfriend and B had an argument about B's behavior. While I was giving my girlfriend advice, she received an Instagram message from B with a meme about a girl moving on from her ex, captioned with my name and laughing emojis. This felt like B was mocking our relationship. Given all this, I told my girlfriend I didn't want to invite B to our wedding unless she really wanted to.
My girlfriend was unsure since B has been her best friend for many years, but she didn't get mad at me for not sending an invitation to B, so we didn't. Now, B is bombarding me with messages, demanding to know why she wasn't invited and making me feel like I'm the bad guy.
NEW UPDATE: So since then everyone agreed with my take and not wanting to invite her to the wedding and I showed my gf and she agreed kinda. Now since then she and the best friend talked and my gf confronted her about everything.
Girlfriend: “Hey B, remember that post you sent me?”
B: “Yeah, what about it?”
Girlfriend: “Well, I was with him the other day, and he saw it too. We were both like, ‘What’s this?’ I felt weird about it and was wondering where it came from. Even though it seemed pretty straightforward, I was curious about what you meant by it.”
B: “Wait, omg, he saw that? He wasn’t supposed to see it!”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, but it was weird to send even if it was just for me.”
B: “Okay, it was purely a joke poking fun at the fact that we used to have fake beef.”
Girlfriend: “I get what you mean, but the post seemed like it was taking a dig at our relationship, not just a lighthearted joke about my boyfriend.”
B: “I understand why you feel weird about it now. I didn’t see it that way at all. My intention was different, but your feelings are valid.”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, but you know, it’s not a great feeling to see something like that. I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate you sending me stuff like that because he knows how close we are. It comes off as weird, like you’re against our relationship.”
B: “I completely get that. Please tell him I didn’t mean it that way at all. I’m just silly and send stupid posts all the time.”
Girlfriend: “Okay, I’ll let him know. But what’s your plan going forward?”
B: “I’m definitely going to try to be more mindful about what I’m sending. I didn’t think about how it would look, even though it was straightforward to interpret. I maybe want to have a chat with him as well to sort things out and show I’m apologetic. But I’ll sleep on it first because this is a lot.”
Although she’s not invited my gf is reconsidering inviting her which somewhat annoys me. My gf doesn’t have many friends so I understand why she doesn’t wanna let go of her but at the same time I was hoping for more of a harsh outcome rather than this casual conversation.
2024.05.29 06:18 Alarming-Reaction88 Just a confused, insecure girl trying to figure this dating thing out.. need advise
Hello! Ok, I F30 have never dated before. I was in 2 long term abusive relationships (I KNOW). First was from sophomore year of high school that lasted 7 years. The second was immediately after for 6 years. I have been single since August 2023 and didn't want to start dating or dating apps until Jan 2024. Fast forward I finally downloaded Bumble and had an instant connection with him M30.
Since we matched at the very end of February and we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartment the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things (we even went to a Two Hot Takes live show in our first month talking!).. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.
submitted by Alarming-Reaction88 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Since we matched at the very end of February and we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartment the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things (we even went to a Two Hot Takes live show in our first month talking!).. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.
2024.05.29 06:16 ritzrosie AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t want him going to Nashville alone with a group of guys when I can’t even go to a bar
My boyfriend (22m) doesn’t let me (22f) go do things with my girl friends and doesn’t let me go on any trips with them either (i only have two friends) because he says they’re hoes. I don’t get why he thinks this my best friend has been dating her boyfriend for three years but he thinks she’s a hoe bc she goes to clubs. I have went to one bar in our whole three years of dating so I respect his boundary even though it sometimes bothers me. He has went to several bars, casinos, trips, and a strip club with his brother + friends.
Anyways this august his brother has a softball tournament in nashville and he wants to go stay in an air bnb with like 10 guys for five days. At first i didn’t know he was going to stay with ten guys so I asked if I could tag along because i’ve always wanted to go to nashville. He said no because the air bnb is already set (it’s not and i told him i could help pay) This upset me and we have already been having issues and I said if you want to go alone then it’s best we aren’t together. Because he never includes me in his plans anyway and I myself am not aloud to go do things with girlfriends like that let alone a trip to nashville. He got super pissed and said I can’t tell him what to do. I just said I don’t want to be together if that’s what he wants to do. I obviously don’t actually want to break up but he has over all been a negligent and not the most caring boyfriend so at that point it’s just showing his true feelings + it hurts my feelings he isn’t open to me going when there will be girls with the other guys i’m sure.
I brought it up when i got to his house from work tonight and he just got extremely pissed and I get that it’s late and he has to work in the morning but It’s been on my mind all day since I found out and I wanted to discuss it.
I also want to add that he is also mad about this discussion of the trip because it’s so far away. To me though, i will think about it and worry over it and I want it settled. I do not see why we can’t discuss things like adults instead of just getting mad at me about even bringing it up. AITA?
submitted by ritzrosie to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Anyways this august his brother has a softball tournament in nashville and he wants to go stay in an air bnb with like 10 guys for five days. At first i didn’t know he was going to stay with ten guys so I asked if I could tag along because i’ve always wanted to go to nashville. He said no because the air bnb is already set (it’s not and i told him i could help pay) This upset me and we have already been having issues and I said if you want to go alone then it’s best we aren’t together. Because he never includes me in his plans anyway and I myself am not aloud to go do things with girlfriends like that let alone a trip to nashville. He got super pissed and said I can’t tell him what to do. I just said I don’t want to be together if that’s what he wants to do. I obviously don’t actually want to break up but he has over all been a negligent and not the most caring boyfriend so at that point it’s just showing his true feelings + it hurts my feelings he isn’t open to me going when there will be girls with the other guys i’m sure.
I brought it up when i got to his house from work tonight and he just got extremely pissed and I get that it’s late and he has to work in the morning but It’s been on my mind all day since I found out and I wanted to discuss it.
I also want to add that he is also mad about this discussion of the trip because it’s so far away. To me though, i will think about it and worry over it and I want it settled. I do not see why we can’t discuss things like adults instead of just getting mad at me about even bringing it up. AITA?
2024.05.29 06:15 Alarming-Reaction88 How do I (F30) know/ ask him (M30) what we are?
Hello! Ok, I F30 have never dated before. I was in 2 long term abusive relationships (I KNOW). First was from sophomore year of high school that lasted 7 years. The second was immediately after for 6 years. I have been single since August 2023 and didn't want to start dating or dating apps until Jan 2024. Fast forward I finally downloaded Bumble and had an instant connection with him M30.
Since we matched we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartments the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things.. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.
submitted by Alarming-Reaction88 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Since we matched we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartments the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things.. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.
2024.05.29 06:15 __Sherman__ Is my (M21) and Ex gfs (F21) relationship salvageable? So checked out I just need unbiased opinions
I (M21) and ex-girlfriend (F21) I’ll call her Kate, have had an on/off relationship for 6 years. We met/reconnected in June of 2018 after having previously gone to elementary and middle school together until her mother pulled her from school.
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.
submitted by __Sherman__ to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.
2024.05.29 06:13 Adraksz Is my behavior normal and people lie to themselves or this is weird?
I am honest with my closed ones because Not being is really harder and troublesome , and I think to have a girlfriend and be a liar tô her misses the point of even dating, but...
In other scenarios I pretend to be what they assume I should be, like pretending really hard .
Example: Job Interview last week, that truth is Not what they want anyway, and the least thing they want tô hear.
Everyone sane knows HR Interview is like an exam of How much bullshit you can speak and hear without laughing. Convince someone you need this Job to save the world using the secret Power of an Excel sheet or whatever .
Lie that the project you did in college made your mindset Flip and Flop and say something inspiring about your previous experiences in workfields that are the same as this Will be If you pass the bullshit test :
Work, get money , pretend to Care about the Company (read any sideline of old news of the history of this shit and say something to make the interviewer think you know more than your occupation hás tô know) , make It seems because of this 5 min google you ARE really interested because you know something about the past dead owners that with honor destroyed a Lot of the climate.
After that, flush this information post interview because even the HR dont know this shit and If It knows It, was because it checked It at the time and for sure will forget It later.
Don't say you finish before the deadline to not be overworked and not overpayed, lie to your Boss everytime It is possible and fake a surprise If you get caught and overreact with fake apologies and fake sincerity assuming your mistake and own the mistake to pretend to be honest and say that Will never do It again.
Then he can feel the dopamine rush of having authority out of someone and Will like you as a pet subordinate, than keep procrastinating and be proactive only in the act of faking How much time and effort you took tô do something and say with conviction everytime and make pain faces to show How hard you ARE as a worker
If possible, shit on the office to have more time at home too
And while your mind is thinking this in the interview your mouth is saying shit like carbon footprint Control is the future and How you Will automate Random flux that you Will say Random numbers of % efficience knowing they dont know shit and you can look that shit after , at the same time, you can see in the corner of the window the Company cool and moderno with pingpong firing tóxic gas like brbrbrbrbr and you Will for sure make that shit Góes brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Say that you Will go to work in a bycicle and read Tolstoy as a hobbie to show them you are a good Nature protector and cult Man, never say that you watch Peep show.
After being rejected for Not having any experience sometime ago I lied really hard to have my First one, It worked.
This is my Third Job( was Not fired once) that I don't even know I say anything true other than my name , I thought LinkedIn was a circlejerk but saying bullshit doing the minimun got me offers one better than the other.
And I don't usually add those people to my circle of friends because I leave work at work because I don't Care for my colleagues , for me they are respected as human beings and shittalkers and I Hope they think of me the same way , I don't want to talk about work outside of work , I Just want money working the less I can and lying is the norm there anyway, people Just believe Their own lies and are chocked tô see someone saying It out loudly what they do and justify with a hidden Noble and inspirational motivation, I Just own It and say this tô my closed ones to laugh at this shit.
But this seems like a "wrong " thing tô do(homie girl Heard and was pissed) . If being honest is being unemployed why the fuck you would he honest ?
Lying like that makes the Boss like you so much that you dont even have tô be on tiktok dance of the company? How the fuck is this morally wrong?
submitted by Adraksz to entp [link] [comments]
In other scenarios I pretend to be what they assume I should be, like pretending really hard .
Example: Job Interview last week, that truth is Not what they want anyway, and the least thing they want tô hear.
Everyone sane knows HR Interview is like an exam of How much bullshit you can speak and hear without laughing. Convince someone you need this Job to save the world using the secret Power of an Excel sheet or whatever .
Lie that the project you did in college made your mindset Flip and Flop and say something inspiring about your previous experiences in workfields that are the same as this Will be If you pass the bullshit test :
Work, get money , pretend to Care about the Company (read any sideline of old news of the history of this shit and say something to make the interviewer think you know more than your occupation hás tô know) , make It seems because of this 5 min google you ARE really interested because you know something about the past dead owners that with honor destroyed a Lot of the climate.
After that, flush this information post interview because even the HR dont know this shit and If It knows It, was because it checked It at the time and for sure will forget It later.
Don't say you finish before the deadline to not be overworked and not overpayed, lie to your Boss everytime It is possible and fake a surprise If you get caught and overreact with fake apologies and fake sincerity assuming your mistake and own the mistake to pretend to be honest and say that Will never do It again.
Then he can feel the dopamine rush of having authority out of someone and Will like you as a pet subordinate, than keep procrastinating and be proactive only in the act of faking How much time and effort you took tô do something and say with conviction everytime and make pain faces to show How hard you ARE as a worker
If possible, shit on the office to have more time at home too
And while your mind is thinking this in the interview your mouth is saying shit like carbon footprint Control is the future and How you Will automate Random flux that you Will say Random numbers of % efficience knowing they dont know shit and you can look that shit after , at the same time, you can see in the corner of the window the Company cool and moderno with pingpong firing tóxic gas like brbrbrbrbr and you Will for sure make that shit Góes brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Say that you Will go to work in a bycicle and read Tolstoy as a hobbie to show them you are a good Nature protector and cult Man, never say that you watch Peep show.
After being rejected for Not having any experience sometime ago I lied really hard to have my First one, It worked.
This is my Third Job( was Not fired once) that I don't even know I say anything true other than my name , I thought LinkedIn was a circlejerk but saying bullshit doing the minimun got me offers one better than the other.
And I don't usually add those people to my circle of friends because I leave work at work because I don't Care for my colleagues , for me they are respected as human beings and shittalkers and I Hope they think of me the same way , I don't want to talk about work outside of work , I Just want money working the less I can and lying is the norm there anyway, people Just believe Their own lies and are chocked tô see someone saying It out loudly what they do and justify with a hidden Noble and inspirational motivation, I Just own It and say this tô my closed ones to laugh at this shit.
But this seems like a "wrong " thing tô do(homie girl Heard and was pissed) . If being honest is being unemployed why the fuck you would he honest ?
Lying like that makes the Boss like you so much that you dont even have tô be on tiktok dance of the company? How the fuck is this morally wrong?
2024.05.29 06:12 JeepJeepIAmSheep Please help
I moved to Missouri a few months ago. Upon moving here, I noticed I was unable to sleep easily, and I never felt rested. Now I'm having dreams. Some night terrors, even. My girlfriend moved here shortly after, and she too is now experiencing these.
My latest nightmare was of me being in a house in the middle of the woods. I have no relation to the house. A woman, not my girlfriend, brings me upstairs to her room. In the room, she starts doing her own thing and lets me lay down on the bed - and that's when I realize I'm paralyzed. I'm stuck on the bed, staring into a dark closet. In the closet, I see a face. The face is almost like that of a harpy eagle, but with huge glowing white eyes. As I make eye contact, it glows brighter and I get hit with a wave of fear. Horrible gut wrenching fear. I remember trying to struggle against the paralysis, and I ended up with my head snapping back, screaming at the top of my lungs. The scene started to change, with my body on the bed but with my consciousness almost like I turned into a camera, and I watched smokey blackness exit my mouth and float into the sky, my consciousness camera going with it.
Then all of a sudden, the scene stayed the same but I was standing, with me in my body. My girlfriend beside me, asking if I was okay, and the closet no longer existent.... Then I wake up.
I poke my girlfriend a few times, and she wakes up terrified as well. She has no idea who I am. My face, she says, doesn't exist. I was speaking and she didn't know who I was.
To be clear, her and I have had more dreams like this. Particularly, the lack of face/being someone else. One night, I had a dream where I thought I was awake, but when I looked at her, her face was this harpy eagle face I described earlier. And it scared me to death, I woke up screaming. She told me she had had that exact same dream during one of her night terrors.
I need help. I've never experienced dreams like this before, and nor has she. Every time we have a dream like this, we feel IMMENSE fear. Anyone know how to control dreams? Decipher them? Get rid of this thing that we both see in our dreams?
submitted by JeepJeepIAmSheep to Dreams [link] [comments]
My latest nightmare was of me being in a house in the middle of the woods. I have no relation to the house. A woman, not my girlfriend, brings me upstairs to her room. In the room, she starts doing her own thing and lets me lay down on the bed - and that's when I realize I'm paralyzed. I'm stuck on the bed, staring into a dark closet. In the closet, I see a face. The face is almost like that of a harpy eagle, but with huge glowing white eyes. As I make eye contact, it glows brighter and I get hit with a wave of fear. Horrible gut wrenching fear. I remember trying to struggle against the paralysis, and I ended up with my head snapping back, screaming at the top of my lungs. The scene started to change, with my body on the bed but with my consciousness almost like I turned into a camera, and I watched smokey blackness exit my mouth and float into the sky, my consciousness camera going with it.
Then all of a sudden, the scene stayed the same but I was standing, with me in my body. My girlfriend beside me, asking if I was okay, and the closet no longer existent.... Then I wake up.
I poke my girlfriend a few times, and she wakes up terrified as well. She has no idea who I am. My face, she says, doesn't exist. I was speaking and she didn't know who I was.
To be clear, her and I have had more dreams like this. Particularly, the lack of face/being someone else. One night, I had a dream where I thought I was awake, but when I looked at her, her face was this harpy eagle face I described earlier. And it scared me to death, I woke up screaming. She told me she had had that exact same dream during one of her night terrors.
I need help. I've never experienced dreams like this before, and nor has she. Every time we have a dream like this, we feel IMMENSE fear. Anyone know how to control dreams? Decipher them? Get rid of this thing that we both see in our dreams?
2024.05.29 06:12 Conclusion_National Library of Ruina - Fan Story Scene 2 - Roland Betrayed by the City
SCENE 1 OF THE STORY - Beginnings of the Anomaly https://www.reddit.com/libraryofruina/s/1yTO3qeElj
If you haven't seen scene 1 of the fan story, please go read it for contexts of what's going on. Simply put, roland has been replaced by a new guy from a different world. It is more specifically ours. Also, you might be wondering where roland is... well
Roland: I knew it was a lie... I shouldn't trust anyone.... And they were just trying to get rid of me... that damm Hanna Association.... and Head...!!!
" Yea, Angel, some coffee would be nice... I think I would know some good coffee places that we can go together... How about we meet tomorrow morning? How does that sound.
To be continued...
submitted by Conclusion_National to libraryofruina [link] [comments]
If you haven't seen scene 1 of the fan story, please go read it for contexts of what's going on. Simply put, roland has been replaced by a new guy from a different world. It is more specifically ours. Also, you might be wondering where roland is... well
- Roland is lying on a bed... Slightly dropped down by the Teleport of a Purple tear with smoke covered the area..
- Then He feels something in this pocket... It was a note....
- Roland stands there in complete silence and shock... completely different world... He was just some experiment rat... damm it all... damm, that whole damm city.... Damm, that pianist for taking his one light his wife and child..... Damm it....
Roland: I knew it was a lie... I shouldn't trust anyone.... And they were just trying to get rid of me... that damm Hanna Association.... and Head...!!!
- He breathes heavily and then stands there and says "That is that, and this is this.... Remember that..."
- He looks around in this room and finds a wallet and opens it
- he see a id and a girl and boy Picture besides it as well. With the name on the id. "Willam Xeon manger of YumYum Sandwichs" Roland:... mmm, he does look like me... and I bet that this is his room... It seemed similar to the city... It's not as high tech as most houses, but it's definitely nice... It's probably similar to somewhere in the nest... Maybe... I... I... could change.... Take the mask of this person... Build a new life... and leave all that pain in the city behind me.... Maybe call retirement or something.... but... If I find a way back... Somehow somewhere.... Lori... Oliver.... I will find you and I will kill you.... Even though you were my teachers and my friends... I trusted you two... I believed you two... You are the last two people that I would ever see betrayed me... but you did... For that I can never forgive this city for what it's done...
- He lays on this new bed, which to him is very surprisingly comfy, and then the cell phone on a nearby desk rings.
- He looks at it and finds a nickname "Angel." In the picture of this, look similar to his wife angelica... And then realizes that the image of the boy and girl that both of them were probably in a relationship of some kind.
- Roland looks shocked... Roland: What.... no way.... Angelica, you.... I see.... I get it now.... Ahahahhahahhaaahahhahaha! This willam guy is me.... From a different universe... Different name... Different person... different world but that girlfriend of his... It almost looks like Angelica... There's no mistake that... So I play my part... so I can one day find that source of my sorrow and have my revenge... Until then... Let me put on my mask and never think about that sorrow AGAIN.
- He picks up the phone and he hears her speak clamly...
- Her voice was angelic... It seems like he found someone almost identical to his wife... Is somehow some way... Irony strikes the person unexpecting this turn of events
" Yea, Angel, some coffee would be nice... I think I would know some good coffee places that we can go together... How about we meet tomorrow morning? How does that sound.
- She gets excited and tells him that she can't wait and tell him that she loves him.
- He shakes... and tell her that he loves her and will see her tomorrow.
- He hangs up and drops to the ground, crying his heart out.... All his sorrows pour out as he still tries to understand what just happened to him and what will happen and what he got himself into...
To be continued...
2024.05.29 06:10 GeometryDash_Gamer AS Characters Worst to Best
 | Previous posts: TDI, TDA, WT, ROTI submitted by GeometryDash_Gamer to Totaldrama [link] [comments] AS Character Ranking 15: Mal (El Mal Villano) - Yeah this guy is bad, but…not in the way the narrative wants us to see him. While he's not my personal least favorite villain, he is worse in the sense that we are supposed to take him seriously and see him as the 'ultimate' evil. And his downfall is the worst in the series without a doubt. As for his actual run as a villain, while his schemes are conceptually better than Island Heather, the dude makes himself way too obvious to be believable. And a handful of characters drop many IQ points for him to stay hidden as long as he does, Cameron having it especially bad. It’s also absolutely ridiculous that he did nothing upon being aware Mike is on the loose inside their brain, which makes me think maybe his stupidity was just contagious to others. Credit where it's due, he has his good moments and some occasional schemes that actually hit the mark for me. I also really like his voice, and he is surprisingly hilarious at times, both ironically and unironically. But no amount of boat noises, scaring Chris, mockingly imitating Mike in the confessional, or how funny the sheer stupidity behind some of his lies are, can make up for his god-awful writing and how much the season suffers as a result 14: Mike (Multiple Problems) - I could've just ranked him and Mal in one. But they are both terrible in separate ways that need more explanation to fully cover. On Mike's end, on top of being an objectively undeserving winner from a gameplay standpoint, his story is just depressingly bad in every way. His journey throughout his brain is underwhelming, save for a few amusing moments mostly from his alters. And he ironically doesn't get much focus despite being the most important character of the season. Especially not helping is that his development of learning to be more honest about his MPD in Revenge of the Island gets regressed here, and the plot requires him becoming brain-dead for Mal to gain complete control. Though I wouldn't be so hard on him if he actually learned from his mistakes like in Revenge. But as it stands, he learns nothing, everything works out ideally for him, and his plot concludes in a way that just all-around reeks of garbage storytelling. I wouldn't consider him one of the most infuriating characters, but there’s just very little I actually like about him. He is boring for most of his screen-time and fails as a protagonist on so many levels. And in some cases, a depressing character is worse than an infuriating one, especially given how important he wound up being to what was supposed to be the 'ultimate' season. The one thing I can actually give him credit for is that he had a good performance in a couple of challenges. Though beyond that, this season was a big fall-from-grace for him 13: Sierra (Codysexual) - At her worst, she sucks balls, and I think we all know why. Her obsession with Cody is incredibly cringe and unfunny, and the Camcody plot is especially cancerous with zero purpose of existing. With that said, she actually has some occasional moments I like, and she is surprisingly really good in episode 5 in particular. I also don't find her lows to be as bad as her World Tour incarnation. Though while she has more positives than most people give her credit for, I don't think Sierra's characterization here was anything either her fans or criticizers wanted 12: Jo (The Shot We All Wish Wasn't Cannon) - Jo had a promising start in the first episode, only for her remaining two episodes to turn her into an even bigger egotistical dumbass than she ever was in Revenge. Not only does she learn absolutely nothing from her mistakes, but she makes one of the stupidest challenge blunders in the history of Total Drama, yet has the gall to think she's still superior to her teammates. Her and Aleheather fighting for an alliance with Gwen was cool and made for some good comedy, but even then, it was very short-lived. And overall, her characterization here was just insulting and disappointing 11: Sam (Justice Against Gamer-phobia) - While the general premise of Sam being in this season was questionable, it could've worked…had they actually utilized him in any way. But as it stands, the dude does barely anything besides being a boring pain-magnet who is amusing in select moments at best, only for the one noteworthy moment he has to lead to a huge ass-pull that happened under completely nonsensical reasoning. Though I suppose in a way, his treatment in his elimination episode prepared us for what was yet to come. Speaking of which... 10: Duncan (The Flip and Flop #1) - All-Stars had the grounds to be one of Duncan's best seasons. But instead, he wound up being a painfully inconsistent mess with an exceptionally terrible sendoff to boot. Throughout Gwuncan, he repeatedly fluctuates between being nice and supportive to Gwen, and being an ignorant dumbass who for some reason tries to get Courtney's attention again (and not just in "Moon Madness" either). It's such an insulting direction to take him given he was clearly tired of her before and only came back to All-Stars for Gwen. And even in the context that he didn't truly get over Courtney, it never gets capitalized on and just makes him agonizingly stupid and pathetic. The premise of his nice-guy schtick is also dumb and makes him come off as an annoying crybaby. And while it had episodes where it worked a lot better, even the better aspects of it (i.e. his friendship with Zoey and any potential he had with his past history with Mal) get absolutely squandered in favor of making him lose every last brain cell he ever had, culminating in one of the worst sendoffs in the series and rendering his entire run in All-Stars worthless. I tried to like and defend Duncan this season. And afterall, it's Duncan so I'll always find things to like about him. But his flaws are far too glaring to look past. I don't think the writers had any idea what they wanted to do with him here. And the fact his portrayal repeatedly flip-flops between a likable and interesting character and a pathetic loser with zero self-awareness, makes him painful to watch. And given he's one of my favorite characters, it only makes this iteration all the more devastating... 9: Courtney (The Flip and Flop #2) - Also rather hit-or-miss even outside of her elimination episode, which completely assassinates her character. Courtney was just plain unlikable for no reason during her time on the heroes team, with not even a good challenge-performance to back it up. However, she got quite better during her time on the villains team. Not to mention, her moving on from Duncan and learning to just ignore him was nice. The less said about her friendship with Gwen, the better. Though her romance with Scott was surprisingly cute. And even if Mal came in and ruined it in the form of the godawful Cameron x Courtney plot, it just made me feel bad for her on her end. But of course her elimination episode wiped its filthy ass with anything good she had going for her, by putting great emphasis on her worst qualities and amplifying them by 100, all in favor of mercilessly trashing on her. It's almost scary how similar her and Duncan are regarding how they were treated in All-Stars, from the writers having no idea what to do with them, to both having the most insulting send-offs in Total Drama history. They both had potential to develop for the better, only for it to be completely thrown away. But like Duncan, it doesn't mean there weren't some good things about her 8: Cameron (From a Badass…to a Dumbass) - Yet another character who falls victim to some of Total Drama's worst cases of character assassination during his elimination episode. But compared to Duncan and Courtney, he didn't have any significantly bad moments beforehand, plus still had some cool moments. Him using Scott as shark-bait in episode 8 was an interesting morally-gray moment, and a really cool strat that almost got him out of last place in the challenge. It's a shame his elimination episode completely forgets about his intelligence and even strips away all his senses of basic human decency during the Cameron x Courtney plot. Admittedly, he wasn't consistently remarkable beforehand. And narratively, he does rather little despite being one of the first people to catch onto Mal. Nonetheless, he still had his good moments for me 7: Scott (The Farm-boy Buffoon) - Despite his personality change, I still find Scott pretty enjoyable at his best. It’s nice that he mellowed out, and his goofy side is endearing, coupled with some especially hilarious moments. On top of that, we get some pretty nice insight on his outside life. His romance with Courtney was surprisingly cute initially. Though unfortunately, he doesn’t stick out very consistently for me. And while his new strategy of laying low and having a better social game is valid, it’s not really capitalized on, and the strategic side of him barely gets touched on beyond his few attempts to find the immunity totem. To make matters worse, he got painfully dumbed down at times for the sake of Mal, and even left a sour last impression in his elimination episode for that reason. While he is one of the better parts of late All-Stars, he still leaves a lot to be desired 6: Gwen (Better Friend than Girlfriend) - While Gwen was always flawed writing-wise, this is the one season where her portrayal is genuinely problematic. She acts crappy to Duncan and Courtney on multiple occasions yet gets victimized compared to them. Her romance- I mean friendship with Courtney is super forced and cringe, and showcases both of them coming out on top over Duncan, even though all three did wrong in the Love Triangle. At least that’s until Courtney’s heel-turn down the line happens and ends with Gwen herself coming out on top, and finally “escaping her toxic relationships and ending the season with better friends while both Duncan and Courtney suffer”. There are so many things wrong with this narrative. Though even then…these aforementioned flaws didn't take up that much of Gwen’s character for me. She still has a handful of good moments outside of Duncan and Courtney. Her friendships with Cameron and Zoey are both wholesome and really brought out her more likable qualities. Besides this, she still has plenty of individual moments I like. She’s especially amazing in episode 9 in particular. All things considered, Gwen is still a good but very flawed character this season, and I get why some dislike her. Though I think All-Stars has some of her best highs in a while (besides the Action special) 5: Lindsay (The Smartest Character of the Season) - It says a lot that the very first boot manages to crack more than the half-way spot up this list. Lindsay still has some especially funny jokes, and her characterization is honestly not as bad as some people make it out to be. Her stupid moment was only a one-scene joke that was followed up with her doing the challenge. Plus, I can at least meme and argue that she just acted dumb on purpose to quit the competition, which is based given how disastrous this season turned out at its worst. And it was even implied she wanted to leave at some points. While I wouldn't unironically call her the smartest character of the season, I think she is still funny and leaves relatively unharmed compared to other characters 4: Lightning (Sha-larious Early Boot) - Despite lasting for only two episodes, the dude really delivered. I'd argue he's even funnier here than in Revenge, his pre-recorded message to Jo being my favorite joke from him yet. The only disappointing thing about him is that his background with his dad didn't get expanded on at all, which even then, ties more to "What could've been" rather than an actual characterization flaw. He's easily the least scathed in a season full of terrible writing, and was a hilarious early-season presence. You especially gotta love his badass challenge performance in episode 1 3: Zoey (Warm and Competent) - I'll admit, she didn't have much of an arc, and her obliviousness to Mal gets increasingly hard to defend as the season goes on. She was also occasionally over-powered to an annoying degree (mainly episode 3). But she still has many great attributes. She made for a surprisingly good team leader and performed well in challenges, pulling some especially cool feats. Though on top of that, she was incredibly kind and tried to see the best in everyone. And both her performance and kindness made her incredibly likable and easy to root for. She had great interactions with multiple people outside of Mike, most notably Duncan, Gwen, and even Courtney sometimes. In fact, had the season did the conclusion of the Love Triangle more justice, Zoey would've been the perfect character to help the three patch things up. All things considered, I find her a deserving winner. And despite her flaws, she’s one of the better parts of the season and a great protagonist for All-Stars standards 2: Heather (The Afterglow of a Queen Bee) - Sure she kind of goes back to being mean, and her taking pride in her villainy doesn’t make much sense when you take the World Tour finale into consideration. Though at least she isn’t as bitchy as she was in Island. Her relationship with Alejandro is still just as fun as ever and sometimes brings out her nicer side. Plus, their feelings for each other even get expanded on nicely in the finale. And all things considered, she’s not that bad in her elimination episode, despite being questionable at one point. Also, "Nice Heather" was an absolute treasure (rhyme not intended) 1: Alejandro (Diamond in the Dump) - Amidst a season that screwed over many characters, Alejandro is the biggest highlight. Even then, his elimination episode made him look weirdly weaker than usual at some points. And he maybe could've done more with his schtick of pretending his legs are still asleep. But while not the absolute least scathed as a whole, he was the least scathed as well as one of the most interesting characters that lasted through the merge. Put in a somewhat similar position to Action Heather, he was forced to rely on just his skills to get as far as he did with no one trusting him anymore. And as I said, Aleheather was still very fun this season. Their back-and-forth dialogue made for a lot of entertaining moments, and I really enjoyed watching them play mind-games with each-other throughout. Despite this, they also had some sweet moments and proved to genuinely care for each-other. In addition to this, it was very satisfying seeing him stand up to his older brother. His rivalry with Mal also had some really cool moments, especially on Alejandro's behalf. And it was a rare interaction where Mal actually had more struggles and didn't consist of Alejandro being entirely dumbed down, even if Mal came out on top in the end. While his highs aren't as good as his World Tour iteration, I think All-Stars was a nice progression for Alejandro in some ways, and further proved that you can involve the guy in just about anything and make it interesting |
2024.05.29 06:08 brackishbrandywine Stepping ain’t easy & I think my only choice is to resign
I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions cause us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.
submitted by brackishbrandywine to RedPillWomen [link] [comments]
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions cause us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.
2024.05.29 06:07 Speed_Offer I'm so tired of feeling lonely. I just want friends.
I'm so tired of being lonely every weekend when I have nobody to hangout with. Nobody to go places with because my boyfriend is busy and has his own friends. I just want friends of my own. Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Nobody wants to welcome someone new into their already established friend groups, my boyfriend's friends are probably included in that. No I haven't met them schedules haven't lined up, but even still if I click with any of them, they're his friends not mine. I don't want to become that unwelcomed pathetic clingy girlfriend always tagging along to group activities because she doesn't have friends of her own. Anytime I try to make friends of my own it blows up in my fucking face and I'm so damn tired of it. Why does it have to be hard man? My boyfriend is literally my only best friend and he has 2 outside of me. I'm happy he does but it also makes me feel pathetic because I can't make more friends of my own. Idk what to do anymore I'm about to say fuck it and just befriend every dog I meet
submitted by Speed_Offer to offmychest [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 06:06 Disastrous-Fig-7253 How to deal with my jealousy about my best friend and girlfriend
Hi okay this is my first reddit post so please be patient if it's wonky.
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!
submitted by Disastrous-Fig-7253 to Advice [link] [comments]
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!
2024.05.29 06:05 Dinosaurnamedbee My Best friends ex is obsessed with me, (and possibly everyone ever.)
I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3
submitted by Dinosaurnamedbee to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3