So, a lot of you aren't going to like this.
Those of you who work at agencies ESPECIALLY won't like this, because it's gonna make those of you who are lazy and blame everyone else for your problems...
Well it's gonna make you look like you're lazy, and blame everyone else for your problems.
So here's my central thesis for this post, done in my best Alec Baldwin impersonation:
"Facebook's not weak, YOU'RE weak!"
Okay, fair enough, Facebook is actually kinda shitty. But have you heard that old (admittedly misogynistic) joke, "Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em?"
Well that describes FB.
I hate FB. I despise it with every fiber of my being.
But... it also makes me a lot of money. So I still run a lot of ads on there.
Quick note about me so you know I'm not some random dipshit: Been in online marketing for a long time, been running ads for about 5 years. Currently do about $5mm a year in spend, a decent chunk of it with my own personal cash for my own business. I still consult and run ads in JV/partnership deals, however, so not ALL my own money.
So, lots of posts lately about FB being shitty. Interestingly enough like many things there have always been these posts en masse. ios14 was a huge turning point in this industry. And it seems to keep getting worse and worse.
That said there's still people CRUSHING it on FB on a daily basis. Individuals who are doing 50k - 100k in spend a day (I've been one of them, right now more like 20k a day though.)
And these are direct response guys, not big ass brands who can afford to throw cash away.
So the question is... why are you struggling and they aren't?
Well first of all let me let you in on a secret: FB sucks for them too. It sucks for me, it sucks for all of us.
But if you want to be successful, you need to focus on what you CAN control, not what you can't.
So here's my rules for success:

1. UNDERSTAND FACEBOOK SUCKS

I've run five copies of the exact same ad in the same ad set at the same time and gotten wildly different results. That's why I test the way I do (Test images/videos and copy at the same time, so I can have duplicates of everything and cross reference/aggregate performance)
Also understand something that works in your market is half the battle... you need something FB likes too. Which you'll never know what it is until you stumble upon it.
Which brings me to my next point...

1. YOU'RE NOT TESTING ENOUGH

I've seen SO MANY posts where people are like, "We've tested TEN IMAGES and nothing works!!!"
My friend. 10 images is what I test in a day. I've been known to test 100 videos a week. I'll write ten pieces of copy for one day's testing.
Do I do this every day? No. I wish I could. I don't have the time/energy. But ideally I SHOULD be doing this every day.
Now if you're running a budget of $100/day obviously you have a lot less you can test.
But my point is... even for those of us who know what we're doing... it takes a LOT of creative testing to get a hit.
Creative testing should be 80% of your time on FB. The guys who tell you it's about the campaign structure or whatever... I mean yeah that stuff is important and can help. But if your creative is good you can kind of ignore that stuff and still get decent results.
Oh and every account is different in terms of what it likes. So you kind of have to treat them separately and test creatives on each. Have fun!

1. IF YOU'RE A MEDIA BUYER AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND CREATIVE YOU SHOULD GET A NEW JOB

Look, not everyone is a great copywriter, or video producer, or artist.
But any good media buyer should be able to take a guess at WHY the creative isn't working, and what should be changed. They should know how to test in a way that is getting these insights that can then be used to further iterate on and improve creatives.
I have met some media buyers who don't know shit about creative but are great at scaling. They're rare, but they're out there. Maybe 10 - 20% of great media buyers are like this. But these people could never fly solo. They only shine in a team with a big creative producing "engine". And they still know how to test to get that learning - they just don't really know why.

1. YOUR TESTING STRATEGY SUCKS

Tests are experiments. They should, as much as possible, isolate one variable.
So many times I hear about people testing in different campaigns, or on different days of the week, or whatever.
No. Testing is in one campaign. Usually different ad sets because otherwise FB will pick a favorite, but if I could throw all ads in one ad set and have FB evenly spend I'd do that.
Furthermore, you should have a very clear goal when you test. "We're testing angles." "We're testing whether red or blue gets a better CPC." "We're testing which of these 10 pieces of ad text does the best."
Don't just throw up a bunch of random videos. At least not often. Test one element. An intro. A CTA. Whatever. Have a plan, and stick to it.

1. WHAT AGENCIES TELL YOU IS BULLSHIT

And the worst part is then the people working there start to believe it.
A small incomplete sample of bullshit things I've heard:
"Facebook has to get out of the learning phase."
False. A good creative will work pretty much straight away. FB's pixel's been dogshit since ios14. Yes, generally training a pixel will help, but this "it needs 7 days of learning" horse shit is just that... horse shit. Often said by people who want to make excuses rather than get down and dirty and do the hard work - making good creatives.
"The pixel takes time to learn."
A half-truth, see above.
"It takes a month to even start getting data"
If I took a month to get data I'd be destitute. You should be able to test if a campaign is going to work in a week, assuming you have the creative ready to go.
If you can't figure out whether something's going to work in a week or two and 1 - 2k of spend, you suck at your job.
If you can't spend 1k a week, then you're working with a client that's super small and that has its own set of challenges, especially on FB.
And if an agency tells you they can't give you some damn good data and an action plan on exactly what you should do in a week or two, run from them and find someone else.
There are more that get my goat but you get the point.
BTW... MOST (not all) agencies work like this:
They sell you a ton of bullshit. You sign on as a client. They give you a junior they get from the Philippines or Eastern Europe for like $400 a month while charging you $3k. They give you endless excuses for months on why results aren't there until you finally leave but hey at that point they got like $15k in profit out of you... they don't care.
WHY I POSTED THIS:

1. Because there are people on here who believe this shit and waste time spinning their wheels when they could be getting traction
   
2. Because I hate lies and incompetence
   
3. Because I enjoy watching all the terrible media buyers come out of the wood work and try to argue with me on why I'm wrong (seriously, do it. Let's go. I need to procrastinate when I should be writing copy.)
   

And if you think I'm looking for clients... I'm not. I don't really have the time. Unless you want to do a profit share deal and your biz is already doing at least $1mm a year in revenue, then yeah, PM me, but it's gotta be a very attractive proposition for me to work on your shit.
Full disclosure: I am considering starting a YT channel where I basically get drunk and/or high and rant about shit like this for 5 - 10 minutes at a time. But as you know there's no money in that.
IN CONCLUSION:
Most of the shit you've heard is dead wrong and spread by people who either don't know any better or want to sell you this fantasy that ads are impossible. They're not. They're just a lot of hard fucking work.
BTW, you can reach out to me via PM for questions but honestly I'd rather you post it here so we get a discussion going and please don't take it personally if I don't have the time to answer back.
Now stop being on reddit and go make some more creatives and write some more copy to test.
Oh, and to all the lame media buyers who are upset that someone's shining lights on just how lazy and useless they are:
Bring it on, bitch.
P.S. I don't know why the preview is showing all my numbers as "1". I swear I learned how to count, even if it took me longer than some of the other kids. If anyone knows how to fix that, please post a comment or PM me. Bonus points for a funny joke at my expense.

Please comment on the post before message me for codes. Preferred payment is PayPal Friends and Family! But I can also do Cashapp, Zelle, Facebook Pay, Venmo or Amazon/Vudu gift cards as payment if need be.
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TRADES FOR PERSONAL REDEEM LOOKING FOR LIST
These are some new release movies im looking for
American Society Of Magical Negroes
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These are some older movies I know have codes I'm looking for
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Throwdown

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Parking_Breadfruit80
Originally posted to AITAH
Previous BoRU
[New Update]: AITA for refusing to have my dad in my life after he chose his new family?
Editor’s Note: changed letters to names for readability, originally used Logan, but now switched to Luke based on OOP’s latest update.
Editor’s Note 2: Also have removed some older relevant comments as they have been covered in the further updates and needing more space to fit all posts here.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, infidelity, gaslighting, betrayal. vandalism, obsessive behavior
RECAP
Original Post (rareddit): April 20, 2024
When I was 13 my dad had an affair and left my mom and moved in with his affair partner who ill call Jane.
At first me and my sister would visit every weekend and I will admit he was a good dad although I never liked Jane.
When Jane got pregnant and had their son our visits became less frequent and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my my recitals or my sisters competitions because he was busy with his son.
When I was 16. Jane decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. Me and my sister begged him not to leave us bit he just said "I need to prioritise my family". He moved 10 hours away. That pretty much ended our relationship and I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family.
My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister but I refused. When he came back to see my sister I would refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduation.
I'm now 33 and have remained no contact with him, he has over the years repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended including my sisters wedding and baby showers.
My dad and his family moved back to our home town 3 months ago and he has been relentless trying to reconcile.
I have received messages from my half brother and sister wanting a relationship saying he's a great dad. My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me and has even tried to speak to my fiancé.
Jane messaged me saying I have broke my dads heart repeatedly and I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing but a home wrecking whore and then blocked her.
Everyone seems to be wanting me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in the town. Whenever I see him I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in contact but I pushed him away.
Everyone is pressuring me my mom, sister. Grandparents aunts and uncles, even some of my friends. My fiancé has even started saying I'm the AH for shutting him out. Its all starting to get to me so am I aita?
Edit:
Thank you for your comments I haven't got through all of them but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane.
I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiancé as most of you pointed out he should have my back. If he continues to defend my dad then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding but need to sort this out sooner than later.
For information
I own a local business moving away is not an option
I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and he is friends with a lot of people including my fiancé family.
My dad did not come back for me - he came back because Jane’s parents need help and care.
He has not financially supported me since I was 17 he withheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him so I had to work and get loans.
I've avoided events because my family use it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and makes scenes - hell come up to me talking as if nothing has happened try to hug me or starts crying.
I cant simply cut everyone off - everyone is on his side and against me including my own mother.
Edit 2
To give you all a bit more context when he left my mom for Jane he only wanted us on the weekend my mom offered him 50/50 but refused.
I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done- my sister was too young to understand and was more accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's I felt uncomfortable and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things but my dad always took her side. My dad and me used to have daddy daughter date at least once every 2 weeks. Jane put a stop to that.
When she had my half brother we went from going every weekend to once every 6 weeks. My dad was MIA and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me.
When they moved I was so upset he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody just for us to visit him every now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance so all of his focus was on his new family
When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him everything blew up Jane called me some terrible names and so did my dad and he refused to give me my college fund unless I started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family.
I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family. I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil but he pushes things and makes it impossible
Edit 3
Have spoken to my fiancé. Update will be posted shortly
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
OOP on staying away from the father and his family and blocking Jane

OOP: I've tried my best to stay away from him and his family but with it being a small town its impossible to avoid them. Some of the times I've bumped into him seemed a bit too coincidental and feel like it was a set up.
I have blocked Jane can't stand the woman she was always mean to me even when I was a child because I was standoffish. My sister is 5 years younger and was more accepting of her so my sister and Jane have a good relationship.

 
Update #1 (rareddit): April 20, 2024 (10 hours later)
Thank you for all of the comments although most seem to be NTA some were YTA. Some of you gave helpful suggestions which I am planning to take on board.
I have just spoken to my fiancé and unfortunately it has not gone well but at this point in time I've had enough and want to runaway and never come back.
My fiancé knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that him siding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me and as my fiancé he should be supporting me.
My fiancé who I'll call Luke told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong. Luke told me that he had spoke to my father and had an understanding of both sides of the story and believes that if we both sit down and talk we can sort this out and reconcile.
I told Luke I don't want this and want no contact and asked why he is even speaking to my father. Luke admitted his father who is friends with my dad encouraged Luke to speak to him and hear him out.
Luke told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me (I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private). Luke said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young. Luke stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship. He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem.
Needless to say I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me. Luke claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be "a heartless bitch".
After he said this I stood up told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out. I'm currently sat in my car. My phone is blowing up with Luke trying to contact me but I don’t want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone I dont understand what is happening.
 
Update #2 (rareddit): April 21, 2024
Hi everyone thanks for the comments and letting me sound off on you as I desperately need an outside perspective.
I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family and leave town. That is not an option for me financially and I would not be able to set up business elsewhere all my money is invested in it and I have only managed to get established recently with steady income, relocating is not an option for me. I love my friends and family and don't want to cut everyone off, I love my hometown I grew up here this is my life and I'm not willing to walk away from it.
I didn't expect to write another update this fast but a lot has happened today.
So firstly I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try and get him to back off and leave me alone. I asked my mom to arrange it, just him no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that but within 15 minutes of her calling he was at the door.
I asked my mom to stay and mediate. To summarize the conversation. These are a bit messed up because it's a lot to remember.
Me: * I asked him to give me space and stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me live my life.

• I told him he stopped being my father when he moved 10 hrs away
  
• I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she has said to me over the years.
  
• I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me and how he told me he had to prioritise them and how he basically told me I wasn't family
  
• He was an AH for withholding my college fund and trying to blackmail me and then spending it on his new family
  
• I hate how I have missed major family events because he attended the events and would make them awkward.
  
• I don't see his son and daughter as my family and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me
  
• he keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look the bad guy
  
• he keeps inserting himself into my life going to my fiancé’s family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Luke to his side
  
• I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane who stopped our dates, missed my recitals, reduced contact and was more concerned about his son.
  

Him * He loves me and always has he is never going to give up trying to reconnect and he has given me enough space over the years and he is done hearing about my life from 2nd hand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more if it.

• he loves Jane and and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his 2 kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first.

*his kids are innocent and I shouldn't be taking it out on them they just want to know their big sister

• I was difficult child who was rude and disrespectful to Jane breaking her belongings, calling her names, ruining day trips.
  
• when Jane got pregnant she was high risk and me coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out so for her and his sons sake he stopped the weekend visitation. He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out but just didn't let us sleep over.
  
• when his son was born he was premature and had health complications which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son.
  
• Jane was unable to get a job locally and the opportunity was too good to pass up so they had to move. He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned everyday but I refused to speak or see him.
  
• They had flown in for my graduation but I refused to invite him and he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologised for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money but I refused it. He has not spent the money he still has it and I have only to ask and I can have it.
  
• he had visited me at my college to try and talk to me but I refused to see him.
  
• He is not going to miss family events
  
• he makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile but I always end up running way or shouting insults at him and Jane.
  
• He has been trying for 16years to reconnect but I shut him down at every turn he just wants to be my dad.
  
• He is old friends with my fiancé dad and he hoped my fiancé could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication.
  
• he feels I never gave Jane a chance no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him.
  

He wants:
My dad is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions.
He wants me to spend time with him 1-1
To stop being rude and mean to his children and spend time with them.
Stop trash talking Jane to everyone and actually give her a chance
Invite for him and my family to my wedding and to walk me down the aisle.
I want:
Him to stop talking to my friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf
Keep Jane away from me completely
To be be civil at events or in town providing he does not try and hug me or talk to me.
My mom told him he was being unrealistic with some of the things he wants especially regarding Jane and his other children so we have agreed for now.
I will attend 3 therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. (my mom thinks I need individual therapy as well) He will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships He will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space and does not approach or pressure me.
As for my fiancé - I still havent spoken to him, he turned up at my moms but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone and so does his family and friends telling me to hear him out.
During my conversation with my dad I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time ( longer than I thought). Luke told me his family had paid for these and i believed him. I feel betrayed by him and that I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually but I dont feel ready.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she can block her father and if she can have an order on him to stay away from her

OOP: I wouldn't be able to get a restraining order against him. What am I going to do tell the police my dad is talking to people in the town and my friends about me. He is showing up to parties and events he's invited to. He's trying to talk to me when he bumps into me in town?
He is not on my social media , he is blocked on my phone other than events and meeting in town that can be chalked up to coincidence I have nothing to report

 
Update #3 - April 27, 2024
Firstly I'd like to apologise for taking down my posts. I was really upset and felt under lot of pressure and needed space to think without constant messages. Some of you were trying to be helpful and I apreciate that but some of the abusive messages I received was terrible.
I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive to me. This will be my last post and I wont be posting again.
Firstly the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him and I will remain no contact.
As you are all aware after speaking to my dad and agreeing a way forward and my conditions.
Keep Jane away from me Tell his kids to back off Don't pressure me or invade my space
It lasted all of 3 days. Everyone seemed happy I had "forgiven" my dad and told me so. My sister was excited I was willing to give him a chance and with some pressure I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad.
When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents his son and daughter. He got up and tried to hug me.
I immediately became upset asking why they were there. My dad told me that if we have any hope of repairing our relationship I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he just broke our deal and to never contact me again and tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me.
When I say all hell broke loose I mean it. I started shouting at them. My Dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down when that didn't work things got very heated and a shouting match started and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half brother walked out of the restaurant and my half sister started to cry.
My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining things after all this time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologised to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treat me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then would do this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship.
My dad has been trying to contact me but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me but I think he's burned his bridges with them.
The incident from the restaurant has spread and some people seem to be backing off. Like I said what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgiveable and they were overheard and this is a small town. Hopefully people will back off and those who won't Im going to have to cut them out.
My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me going no contact again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile but right now she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice word with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me again to speak to him.
I am going to go to individual therapy I think I definitely need it. I do feel bad about my half siblings as they havnt done anything wrong and am maybe open to having a distanced kind of relationship with them in the future but I'm not ready yet or if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to apologise and tell them they've done nothing wrong.
Lastly to update you all - in regards to my fiance well I spoke to him yesterday about everything I had been radio silent since walking out on him.
Basically he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sob story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughters life. Luke had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realised my dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events.
He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense.
Luke admitted my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding but he did not know this until after it was already paid. His father had told Luke that him and his mom had paid. My dad had told Luke it was a gift and his way of contributing. Luke admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf.
I told Luke he had betrayed my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologising to me and promising to never do it again. Luke was heartbroken and begged for a 2nd chance.
To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue he had been the best partner and I genuinely think that he had been manipulated by his family and my dad. Luke has promised to stand up to his family and go no contact with my dad.
I'm still living at my moms as I still need some space which I wont have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week. Luke is begging for a postponement rather than cancel it altogether. We may still break up as actions speak louder than words and I need to see if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she is able to change her contact information and what about Luke

OOP: There's no point changing my number when I've done this before he always manages to get it again.
As for Luke - breaking up is not off the table. I'm giving him a chance to show me he means what he says. I always thought I had a decent relationship with Luke’s family, but clearly not. I'm not asking him to go NC with them thats for him to decide. I'm certainly going to distance myself from them and any further incidents no contact.
As for any future children if we are still together I won't be trusting them with my children at all

 
Update #4: May 4, 2024
Hi everyone I did not plan to make another update at all but I'm still getting messages for an update and thought I would let you know the recent developments.
Firstly I have cancelled the wedding I was able to get some partial refunds but have lost some money. Luke begged me not to cancel the wedding but there was no way I could marry him after what he did.
I was set on giving him a 2nd chance and he promised me he would go low contact and stand up to his parents and issue an ultimatum that we would not tolerate any contact with my dad and Jane. Basically he would tell them we would not attend any event or party if they were invited and we would not tolerate any attempt to force contact or relationship with my dad.
He met with them to explain this to them. When he came back from this meeting he was quite irritable with me and appeared to have had a change of heart to summarize it - he was trying to convince me his family only meant well and that he can't go low contact with his family because he loves them and he can't dictate their friendships. He then tried to convince me it won't be an issue in the future and his father would speak to my dad and tell him to be on his best behaviour in my presence.
As soon as I heard this people's comments went through my head and the main one being if we had children he would take them to his family where my dad and Jane would be and I would have no control over this. At that moment
I realised I couldn't trust Luke and never would be able to.
I broke up with him, he is not taking it well and keeps begging me to take him back and that he would go no contact with his family. His family and friends are trying to convince me on his behalf not to end our relationship. He has made his choice and proven to me he is spineless. I don't need him in my life.
In regards to my dad I'm looking into getting a restraining order given what happened in the restaurant I might be able to but i dont know yet a friend of mine is helping me look into this.
My dad has kept a low profile since last week apart from a couple of attempts to apologize to me I havnt heard much from him. My sister still won't speak to him or Jane. Unlike me my sister is highly confrontational and has blasted him and Jane on social media with what happened at the restaurant and things that have happened in the past which I didn't know about.
My sister and Jane had a very public screaming match when she had seen them in town due to my sisters posts and demanding to take them down it ended up with Jane assaulting my sister. My dad apparently sided with Jane in this. My sister now hates Jane and refuses to speak to our dad who is also trying to contact her.
My dad and Jane’s reputation seems to have taken a hit and between the incident in the restaurant and my sisters fight with Jane and het numerous Facebook posts about them, People are gossiping. This has worked well for me because some people have backed off which Im happy about unfortunately there are a few people still on his side including my ex's parents.
As for my half siblings there's not much of an update in regards to them.
I've found a therapist however there is a bit of a waiting list before I can start my therapy. I'm still living with my mom who is completely on my side and I have found a kitten and pick her up next week.

 

----NEW UPDATE----

Update #5: May 19, 2024 (2 weeks later)
Hi everyone thought I would give you an update as to what's been happening the last couple of weeks for those of you who are still interested.
Firstly I'm still at my moms and I got my little kitten. I've named her sascha and she is the sweetest thing but very energetic. For those of you asking for pictures I'll try, but she refuses to stay still long enough to get a one that's not blurred. I love her already. My mom continues to be my rock. IM still waiting for therapy but am finding reddit useful and therapeutic and the support I've received from most of the people on here has been great and helped me see things more clearly so a big thankyou to everyone.
As for my ex now that we've broken up I feel lighter and free and being away from him has made me see all the red flags that I was blind to in our relationship and feel like I've dodged a bullet. Luke (using real names because my posts were discovered) is not taking the breakup well and has taken over from my father constantly bothering me.
If you read this Luke we are DONE and I'm not changing my mind so stop calling me, stop coming to the house and stop sending me flowers! I'm moving on so you should too.
My sister Emma is still firmly on my side and has washed her hands of Jane (stepmonster) and they are not on speaking terms after my sister told everyone about Janes affairs.
Jane is still trying to save face saying my sister is lying and telling everyone she can how we are just the worst and that we have treated her terrible over the years and trying to ruin her marriage. Don't think anyone is buying what she is saying. She has sent abusive messages to me and my sister and when we've bumped into her she's been screaming at us and threatening us. My sisters car had been keyed and my store windows were smashed. We can't prove its her unfortunately but she is the most likely culprit.
My half siblings are definitely my dads children they tested then years ago when she was a baby. From what I've heard they're not speaking to Jane at all.
As for my dad he seems to have grown a spine and has kicked out Jane she is now living with her parents. From what I've heard he's thinking about divorce. I havnt had any contact with my dad except for a text saying he was sorry for everything. As for getting a restraining order I'm more concerned about getting one against Jane at the moment.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she has cameras at her place

OOP: I have cameras but you can't see if it her because of the angle I'm getting more fitted for better coverage

OOP on if she has been speaking to her half siblings (father’s side) and how their relationships are with Jane now that the truth got out. And how the family is reacting

OOP: I'm not speaking to my dad or Jane or my half siblings. I've gotten this info from a cousin on my dad's side so not sure if it's true or if there is more to this. + The only people who knew were my grandparents and sister. Unfortunately when Jane and my sister fell out my sister decided to expose her on social media to everyone. My half siblings knew about her recent affair but not the one years ago.
As for my dad I don't know and I'm not going to reach out to ask

OOP on if she will forgive her father and if he would get a second chance without Jane present

OOP: Yep- hes destroyed my relationship, his and janes relationship with Emma and by sounds of it his own relationship. All because he couldn't respect my boundaries
No the damage is already done. He had his chance to fix things with me and he blew it. I just want to be left alone and get on with my life

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I wanted to share some concerning updates about the ongoing situation at De Lago Resort, Lake Bennett.
Last month, NT Health issued a Public Health Order to Andrew Gunn, the proprietor of De Lago Resort, due to unresolved wastewater management issues. The order effectively shut down the food and accommodation services until these problems are rectified. Facing mounting debts and no cash flow, Gunn announced plans to liquidate the company operating the resort, LBR (NT) Pty Ltd.
However, it has come to light that former manager Glenn Sorensen and his partner Mark Bennett are still operating on-site. Originally hired as maintenance workers, Glenn and Mark briefly held management roles for 1 week after the last manager left and before the forced closure. Despite the closure, they have been advertising camping and RV sites for $54/night on Hipcamp, offering activities like canoeing and swimming, and selling refreshments. They argue that the health order was directed at Andrew Gunn, not the physical site, and have continued their operations to keep the resort’s lights on and manage basic services.
NT Health officials confronted Sorensen and Bennett last Friday, expressing strong disapproval and noting this as a suspected breach of the Public Health Order. An investigation is underway, and further comments from NT Health are pending.
Guests have expressed disappointment and frustration, as the pair have been setting this up behind the scenes while ignoring questions about refunds and pre-booked, paid events. This lack of communication and transparency has only added to the discontent among those who had planned to visit the resort.
Adding to the complexity, De Lago Resort has seen around eight different managers attempt to run the place in the past 18 months. Meanwhile, landlord Carolyn Reynolds is now advertising the newly named site, ‘Lake Bennett Campground,’ as a pet-friendly campground on Facebook.
This situation highlights the ongoing challenges and complex dynamics at De Lago Resort. While Gunn faces financial ruin, Sorensen and Bennett's actions raise significant concerns about public health and safety. It's crucial for the NT Health Department to enforce compliance and ensure all involved parties are held accountable.
Let’s keep an eye on this situation and hope for a resolution that prioritizes the well-being of the community. What are your thoughts on this?

(Beware: This is long, but I think it’s therapeutic for me to type it all out, lol.)
The last few months have been really rough for me. A little back story, I’m 35 years old. Grew up with alot of Baptist and Mennonite type teachings. I walked away from Christianity two years ago, and the last couple of years have been ones of deconstructing. My family still does not know, so I’ve been alone in this whole process. I’m #3 of 7 kids, and the only one who has walked away from Christianity.
I am still a virgin. During the last two years, I was getting to know a 46 year old man. He took me out on a date, and shortly after our first date he mentioned “the distance between us” — meaning having sex. I told him I still needed time to get to know someone first, before having sex with them. I had shared with him that I had, or was walking away from my Christian upbringing, and it was challenging for me with my family… but I didn’t tell him yet I was still a virgin. I wanted to know if I could trust him. I did let him know that sex wasn’t all I was looking for. I said I wanted something more. I told him if a sexual relationship was all he wanted, we could part knowing we both have different needs, and I’d wish him well. He said ‘oh no, he wanted the same things as well.’
A month after our first date, I found out that he had a girlfriend that he was hiding. I was not comfortable with it, and didn’t want to be another number on his list, so I told him we should stop talking.
(Side note: He hides evidence of her online, and has no pictures of them together. His status is “single” on Facebook. I found photos of them at an event—holding hands — shortly after his and my date, and he’s taken her home to his parents a few times.) When I asked him about her, he said he “didn’t know what I meant.”
6 weeks went by, and he and I spoke again. He said he was bummed with how I ended things. He said how he wanted to say more to me, but he was glad I was doing well. We both were so attracted to each other, and there was alooot of chemistry there. I enjoyed talking with him, and so, we started texting again. He would text me every so often, wish me well, wondered how I was doing or tell me he was thinking of me. Every now and then, he’d send a “hug” emoji on my Facebook photos. Sometimes he’d send photos of himself (clothed, haha) and ask me if I could see a difference. (He had lost 21 pounds). Somewhere in there, he suggested that we should go travel to Italy together in 2024 — and to which I said, “that would be so fun!”
In December (5 months ago), I ran into him again, and he gave me a very passionate hug and nuzzled his cheek against mine. He texted me later to say how good it was to see me. I unexpectedly ran into him again in February, and he gave me another passionate hug, but this time nuzzled both my cheeks — one side and then switched to the other side, and moved his hands up and down my back and lower back. I enjoyed it (haha), and he reached forward to kiss me, and then suddenly went, “Noooope!” And ran out the door with a slight grin. I was so disappointed that we didn’t kiss, and felt very self-conscious about it — like, maybe it was my fault for being awkward? Did he get scared? He texted afterwards, ‘it was good to see me, and I looked great.’ A few days later, he asked if I’d ever want him to come over for dinner. I said, “I’d love that!” Then he asked, “Would you ever want me to spend the night?” And I said, “Maybe.” 😜 He just said, “Haha.”
I still hadn’t told him yet that I was a virgin. I decided after a year and a half of knowing him, and feeling the possibility of us being together intimately soon, I needed to tell him. SO, I did. I told him I was still a virgin due to my upbringing, but I no longer held to those beliefs, and I was no longer saving it for somebody. I told him I did want sex, but I just don’t want to do it with somebody I don’t know.
He was silent in thought for a bit, and then he said:
”You should not be ashamed of that...in reality you should be proud of that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or that situation at all. You should NOT just ‘get it over with.’ You will regret that forever. Just go with the flow. It will happen at the correct time. But don't force it and there is absolutely NOTHING you should be ashamed about. It's actually very respectable.”
When he responded with that, I was so relieved! I thought he took it very well!
We talked alittle about my vibrator, and he said it was “giving him some thoughts, for sure!”
Not long after that, he completely ghosted me. (This was a couple months ago.) I have been completely devastated. I’ve been doing some reading, and I’m fairly certain he has an Avoidant Attachment Style. He was married once for 7 years, and got divorced 13 years ago. He hasn’t married since. I have found evidence of his having atleast 4 girlfriends in the last 5 years — who knows, there may have been more.
But I ask myself, if all he wanted was sex, why did he “hang in there” for over a year and a half? Why didn’t he ghost after a month or two? I suppose me telling him I was a virgin was the “nail in the coffin” for him, but I still don’t understand. It’s been deeply hurtful. Just because I have no experience doesn’t mean we wouldn’t have a good time? (Sorry for the TMI.) 🤣🙈🙊 The chemistry was really, really strong between us. I really thought he was going to be my “first one.”
I also feel like I have lost a friend. We would always text here and there—never sexual, but just chit chat. (Even though the chemistry was always flowing underneath.)
Deconstructing from Christianity has been a deeply lonely experience, and to have this happen on top of it has been crushing. Couldn’t he atleast have sent a goodbye message, like, “Sorry, I don’t want to teach a virgin,” or something? 😭
The other day, a former best friend of mine (who is Seventh Day Adventist) texted me and asked me how I was and what was new in my life. I’ve been hurting so much over this situation, so I told her how a guy dumped me for being a virgin, and how it’s hurt my self-esteem, making me feel like worthless rubbish.
She said: “Remember that your virginity is a special gift you are saving for your husband and he will be grateful for it. …You can always change to be like the world, but they can never change to be like you.”
I know she meant well, but her message really irked me. After I told her, I wished I had never told her in the first place. She and I are no longer on the “same page” with these things. I’ve been wondering if it would be best if I slowly cut ties with her—because we believe so different.
I feel so alone and lonely—not to mention how hurt and stuck I feel over this whole guy situation. 😞 I really, genuinely cared about him — as a friend, and I had hoped, more. (That’s why I’m on Reddit, ha!! Thank you all for listening. I have no one else to talk to.) 🩷

This is a warning to anyone who is currently in coaching with Traci Armstrong aka Your Muse Traci. She had hired me as a coach in late January 2024, telling me primarily about the disaster that was her relationship with her boyfriend and the fact she was dissatisfied with her current employer, who happened to be Amanda from Create your Future. I’ve been coaching privately for 7 years off YouTube and 2 years on YouTube and never really cared enough to watch other coaches’ videos so was unfamiliar with the environment she came from. But apparently she would receive leads as clients from Amanda and that’s how she was coaching people for 2 years. You will notice that she says she has been a coach for 6, which is a complete lie. She ended up quitting that job whilst being in my coaching and taking the entire client list with her illegally, knowing she signed an agreement with Amanda. She did not tell me that it was in the agreement she couldn’t do so and stated that she had somehow deserved to have this contact information after quitting. Myself not being a lawyer, I advised her to get council from one, who eventually told her that was completely illegal. Yet, she persisted in our sessions to make light of the situation and say she prefers to “ manifest” it all turning to her advantage. That was a major red flag to me at the time, however, we were in the middle of coaching and I wanted to wrap up on a good note. Upon concluding the first month of coaching with me, she then expressed the desire to be coached as a coach by me, which I do as well. I agreed and explained to her multiple times that she would have to come up with her own style of coaching that authentically represented her and her experiences. Under no circumstances did I ever tell her she had permission to copy me or my program. Instead, I started noticing that on her channel she would copy my videos word for word and started claiming that my coaching program was actually hers and that she came up with it herself. She clearly describes till this day my methodology of coaching and claims it’s her idea. She has copied my coaching structure of 2-3 times per week down to the very pricing per hour and pricing structure of $2650, which mine at the time was $2750. This kind of structure did not exist until I came on YouTube 2 years ago. She has since copied two other coaching packages again claiming it was her idea. She literally has no mind of her own. After asking her twice to stop doing this, she pretended as though it was a “ misunderstanding “ and no such thing was occurring. Yet the evidence is there and 6 of her videos were now removed due to copyright infringement and she was given a second strike recently on her YouTube channel and she had to stop uploading for 2 weeks. I had to drop her out of my coaching due to this illegal activity. Which she also tried to report as fraud to a credit union and have someone call me accusing me of fraud. She has engaged in incessant harassment on. y own YouTube channel under the guise of fake accounts, constantly posting nasty harassing comments and interfering with me answering viewers’s questions. She now has 4 copyright infringement claims against her with the government and if found guilty, which she is, may face the consequences of committing willful copyright infringement and profiting from it. Traci is mentally unwell and has no regard for the law. She is not fit to be a coach of any kind. Unfortunately it is my opinion that she will not stop on this self destructive pattern until she finds herself incarcerated and physically not able to break the law and continue causing damage to other people’s businesses. It’s actually scary that someone can lie like that for the sake of making money instead of doing what they’re actually good at. Her relationship is a disaster because of her own behavior, I’m convinced and she has no business coaching people on SP problems or anything else for that matter. It’s one thing to have certain problems in life, everyone has them, but another is to be criminally minded and steal from others just because you feel like it and because other people’s hard work makes you look good. I hope this reaches as many people as possible, all of her clients and subscribers. She’s just mentally not well and has nothing to offer but bad quality coaching at best. She is now in a lawsuit with Amanda from Create Your Future and had to remove that video from her channel where she claims she was the victim. And now she will be losing her YouTube channel and practice because she couldn’t stop stealing from me.
Please beware and stay away.

yourmusetraci

copycat

coach

magicandmiracles

Hello everybody, this is a venting post that I will try to make brief.
I was born in a Muslim homophobic country, so coming out was a big no-no. I was suffocating my whole life to put it simply.
I worked my ass off for years and had to be x4 as better as anyone else academically because it was my only way out.
Didn't date, didn't hook up, I just focused on my studies because one mistake could have cost me everything.
After my bachelor's degree, I looked at every way to make it outside the country. Since I had no money, I prepared for years and finally got a scholarship to do a masters in the US so I took it in a heartbeat.
I had the BEST year of my life. It felt like I could breath again and it was AMAZING. Started going on dates, went to a bar for the first time in my life, got hit on by men for the first time and I felt desired, liked. I can't even begin to describe the feeling.
Met a wonderful guy who I thought loved me. We had very beautiful moments and we loved each other. After some time, I realized he became too possessive. I wasn't allowed to have friends, to hang out with classmates or anything.
I tolerated it at first because I just didn't want to loose what I had. But at the end of the day, I couldn't take it anymore. So I broke up with him.
Graduation happened; everything was fine.
Then my mom called me and told me that it is time to make a trip back home because 'they missed me' and my sister had just had a baby, so they wanted to be reunited and also celebrate my graduation.
I did not think much of it. I went and then some days passed by and I realized my passport and all documents are gone.
I asked my parents and they just told me that they took them and I am never going back to the US. I was furious and didn't understand a thing.
After days of drama, they finally took my phone too and told me the reason of that.
My ex boyfriend looked up my name on facebook and then found my sister. Reached out and sent her our pictures kissing, hugging, etc. Told her that he was my boyfriend and that I was gay. Apparently, he was petty because I left him.
I couldn't leave the house until after my VISA expired and now it is impossible to go back. I don't even have a job as they want me to be financially dependent on them so they could control me. Now I am in my home town where there is no job opportunity whatsoever and the only thing that I have is my computer and.. reddit.
I left out too many details because I didn't want to take much of your time.. I guess, I just have no one to talk to... So I am getting this out of my chest.
I wish you happinness.

ABB FIA Formula E Championship
Wikipedia: Season 10 Teams & Drivers Season 10 Calendar
Session Times
Times are in China Standard Time (UTC+08:00)
Friday 24 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 1	17:00 - 17:30	09:00 - 09:30

Saturday 25 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 2	08:00 - 08:30	00:00 - 00:30
Qualifying 1	10:20 - ~11:45	02:20 - ~03:45
Race 1	15:00 - ~16:00	07:00 - ~08:00

Sunday 26 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 3	08:00 - 08:30	00:00 - 00:30
Qualifying 2	10:20 - ~11:45	02:20 - ~03:45
Race 2	15:00 - ~16:00	07:00 - ~08:00

​

• Entry List: Here
  
• Timetable/VISA: Here
  
• Event Note: Here
  

Notes:
3:30 minutes of caution = +1 lap
Attack Mode = 6 minutes total
Shanghai International Circuit
Shanghai, China
Circuit Diagram: Here
Pitlane Map: Here
Length: 3.051 KM (1.896 mi)
Turns: 12
Distance: Race 1 - 29 Laps, Race 2 - 28 Laps + Any Additional Laps from Caution Period
Live Streaming & Timing

• Official Live Timing: Here
• Official YouTube Channel: Here
• Official Twitch Channel: Here
• Official Facebook Page: Here
• Other Streams: Check MotorsportsStreams2 or MotorsportsReplays

Check out the official ABB Formula E Championship TV/Streaming Guide to find out more about coverage in your area.
Official YouTube Links (Subject to Change):
FP1 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=557_sFq9gFg (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
FP2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPftbVR2s9s (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lssaJiYWrOk (Stream starts 10 minutes before session)
Race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrnuVl_dizg (Stream starts 15 minutes before session)
FP3 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G9S-6z3Sdc (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zdWnQEg0dA (Stream starts 10 minutes before session)
Race 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-W1jcIMC-g (Stream starts 15 minutes before session)
Roku TV (Subject to Change):
FP1: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/9579897bf19b66739ed55c44e88a044e/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-1 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
FP2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/b4803632c28ebe2e12a966ec11ce3f2a/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-2 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/01e71b4b43d83211a3803830775e80e2/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-qualifying (Stream starts 20 minutes before session)
Race: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/8818d4f5b7dea1f6855bd5dcea009d0b/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-race-1 (Stream starts 60 minutes before session)
FP3 : https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/e3e928f413d913f8cb764dd32af3161e/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-3 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying 2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/1749d85556260ad74d2ceb4195182a55/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-qualifying (Stream starts 20 minutes before session)
Race 2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/5cca9e514db3dc39e099e5ab9c90d2fb/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-race-2 (Stream starts 60 minutes before session)

It is now confirmed there are English subs

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📽️Where to Buy and Watch ➜Thai Ticket Major

💰Cost ➜ 597 Bahts (There is an online service fee) XE currency converter
⏰Live Stream Event begins on Sunday, 26 May 2024 at 11 a.m. (GMT+7 aka Thailand) Find out what time where you are

🍿Teaser 🍿

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https://preview.redd.it/pb6kgloc0l2d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0070ebc96c59124646ec1355ff02307ab9a32e7b
Some notes about the live stream:

• See this post for detailed instructions about creating a ticket major account or where to buy the ticket if you are having trouble The Sign Special post
• You can enter the live stream thirty minutes before the start of the stream.
• There are no rewind or pause buttons on this stream. If you are late entering the code you will miss whatever has already been shown. Once you enter the code you can not enter it again to rewatch the stream.
• 1 ticket = 1 view of the live stream.
• Wide-Cardiologist-15 over at ThaiBL explained that the rewatch code will be active for this stream from May 28(12pm +7) to Jun 3 (before 23.59 pm. +7) If you have not used your code because you missed the live stream then you can enter your code and watch the stream between those dates. You still will not be able to pause or rewind the stream or use your code again.

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https://preview.redd.it/4anwcxpw6l2d1.jpg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0545886bfa5e3fa163140a774b3c26479df45dd0
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https://preview.redd.it/2x6zv7gp6l2d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1fc3ae296340ffec9cadaefe8e35f34712a3a7b
They are also selling a photobook for fan events Lost in the Jungle at this event as well. You can buy it at Ticketmajor or Ethai. Compare prices since it was only $69 for me in the USA through Ticketmajor
​

🐉Other Useful Info🐉

• Complete Info for The Sign Series ➜MDL and BDL
• The Sign Series ➜ Youtube Playlist
• The Sign Extras➜ Playlist
• The Novel ➜MEB
• Previous On Airs for the series ➜ Ep.0 🐉 Ep.1🐉 Ep.2🐉Ep.3🐉 Ep.4🐉Ep.5🐉 Ep.6🐉 Ep.7🐉Ep.8🐉 Ep.9🐉Ep.10🐉 Ep.11🐉Ep. 12
• Socials for The Sign ➜💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖
• Socials for Idolfactory➜💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖FB💖Youtube💖
• Helpful & Insightful posts
  • Source vs Adaptation: Deep Analysis of the Novel vs the Series The Sign
  • SYMBOLISM & MYTHOLOGY for the series
  • Info about the myth of Garuda and Naga

🐉Actors🐉

https://preview.redd.it/h6itr4iykl2d1.jpg?width=3863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e474affbb2d8fe4c57e94c4930045b6dc49488e9

• Babe Tanatat Ingphochai as Tharn 💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖
• Billy Patchanon Ounsa-ard as Phaya Sakuna 💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖
• Tack Phongsakorn Sukiangas Khem💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖FB💖
• Poom Nuttapart Tuntistinchai as Thongthai💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖
• Gap Jakkarin Phooriphad as Yai💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖
• Surprise Pittikorn Siripornsawan as Singha 💖IG💖X💖FB💖
• Heng Asavarid Pinitkanjanapun as Chalothon💖IG💖X💖TikTok💖FB💖

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This is a thread to rehome your unloved items, please note your suburb to pick up and use imgur.com/ to link photos. Links to Facebook marketplace and Gumtree, etc will be removed.
​
^\The mods take no responsibility for any murders (or anything less than) that may happen when two internet strangers meet in person.)

TLDR: I (23F) feel like the black sheep in my materialistic family. My narcissistic dad forces us on multiple family trips yearly, compromising my very new career. My siblings criticize and gaslight me, damaging my self-esteem. Despite graduating college and starting a career, I'm treated like a child, while my siblings have no responsibilities. My boyfriend (27M) from a healthy family background struggles with my family’s toxic behavior, which nearly broke us up. I envy genuine family bonds and seek advice on managing my strained family relationships. Am I being too sensitive? How can I navigate this?
I (23F) love the idea of family, but I hate my family. Some close people in my life say that my life is like a movie and that I'm very clearly the black sheep, which makes me feel pretty abnormal to people close to me. Narcissistic wealthy dad (late 50's), shopaholic mom (late 40's) with no job, and extremely materialistic younger siblings. Parents divorced.
My dad likes to pretend we're a very close family and he considers us a close family by forcing us to go on several trips (at least 2 longer trips that are 7+ days & 3-5 shorter trips that are 2-4 days) A YEAR. And as someone who is trying to start a career and kick ass at my new job post-grad, it's very difficult when I get manipulated and guilted into these trips. This obviously compromises my work, but in my eyes I have no choice. He doesn't really know who I am because he doesn't bother trying. I even tell him things about me and he still doesn't listen. My dad is a very forceful and scary man when he wants to be. I grew up scared of him. Now, he's nicer but still has his very terrifying moments. I've been told my several people that when my dad enters the room it's like a switch goes off and I'm very professional speaking and can't relax. Anyways, my siblings ONLY like talking about: makeup, skincare, gossip, nails, complaining, Tiktok, and starbucks. If you don't talk to them about these things, you are considered old and boring. Whenever I'm home, they always tell me that I'm old, boring, and don't like to have fun. They also expect me to do everything for them and don't take any responsibility for anything. I get blamed by my parents for their actions. I understood this more when they were younger, but now they're plenty old to start taking responsibility for their actions and becoming more like an adult (mostly all in college age now, 1 late high schooler). They also diminish my self-esteem and confidence every time I see them or they gaslight me HARD. They say I have a unibrow, I look transgender (they mean this is an extremely insulting way fyi), my boobs are too big, my makeup doesn't look good enough, tell me I'm too uptight, say that no wonder you're dating an old man you can't get anyone your own age (he's 27M and I'm 23F lol). Sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes I lash out in anger. Over the years, I've learned to just be quiet and sit in silence as they criticize be because that's the quickest it ends. If I stand up for myself, they make it worse. If I tell my parents, they say that they have a right to voice their opinions and "grow into their own person". Literally BS. My parents as you might be able to see have a very passive parenting style now compared to when I was in high school. I got parented very differently. I wasn't allowed to do anything or go out at all and I got professionally tracked (they hired an IT person to install hardware on my phone). I'd like to point out I was never a bad kid and I never did anything to make my parents distrust me. I don't do drugs, drink, and I was a good student. Heavens sake, I was only allowed to go out like twice a month including school events. This made me sneaky lol and talked in code to all my friends. When I was younger, I was even convinced one of my friends was paid by my parents to spy on me and get information out of me. So yeah, trust issues.
I get treated the same way my siblings do even though all of them still live at home and haven't gone to college or gotten a job yet. Even though 2 are college age (19, 20). *I have graduated college and have started my career now*. It literally blows my mind that my high school sibling compares me to them and tells my parents that it's "not fair" that I get to see my boyfriend multiple times a week but they can't? I literally am a grown adult?! Anyways, my parents got upset at me and said that I need to stop bringing up the age component and that yes as parent's they're being unfair and the high schooler can see her boyfriend more. This is just one easier situation to use but these types of things happen all the time. \note: HS sibling is not okay. She needs serious help but my parents refuse to see it and stay in denial, but to me is doing her much more harm than good. But that's a whole other story**
When I moved out for college years ago, I saw the world in a different light. I saw how my friends' families interacted with each other and how they actually care about each other. And I want that. I think I have some toxicity problems and don't have guts to stand up for myself. Maybe even blinded by some of it in my everyday life because of what I allow in my family. My first boyfriend was very toxic, and it took me 3 years alone post-breakup to figure out that it wasn't my fault for him being cruel to me. Now, I'm in a 2 year relationship that makes me happy, but I still constantly ask myself if I'm being manipulated because in the past I always made excuses for my exes bad behavior.
My boyfriend (27M) comes from a healthy family background. His parents are very involved in his life and call him 1-2 times a week to catch up and hear about his life. They help him and give him real advice and actually really listen. I envy that a lot. I wish I could have parents who genuinely cared about who I actually am... Not what looks good on paper and to the public eye. My parents only step in "to parent" when it looks bad to others. But anyways, my bf loves me but he has many reservations about my family. Extremely similar reasons as I do. We had a HUGE talk over it about 6 months ago and it almost broke us up. What makes me really sad is that I can't help who my family is. We both love each other but he feels like none of my family cares about him and all of them are shallow. My first bf in high school broke up with me with the excuse that I didn't leave my dad for him (he said I either emancipate myself or he leaves me). I was 16.
I really really want that bond that other people have with their families. I've tried everything I feel like I can to try make relationships but there are just some things I can't compromise on like my moralities, personality, and career.
Am I being overly dramatic? Is this normal to go through and I'm being too sensitive? If I am in the right for feeling like this, how do I go about my relationship with my family? Thoughts on my life or friendly advice? I'd love to hear if anyone else is going through this type of situation or feels similar to me? I just wish I had someone to talk to but no one understands. Everyone just says my life is crazy and that's all.

Several women in this group have blocked me on Facebook for contacting them privately. You know......the irony is that whenever I contact my fellow men from this group I am generally met with an enthusiastic response. I wonder why that is....
I could use my status within this group to humiliate all of you. But I'm a gentleman and the torment it would put you through does not comply with my ethics. You skanks know who you are, and if you're even capable of reading this, here were my true intentions. Hopefully you'll come around to changing your mind about me (if you're not a complete idiot that is).
First off, yes I'll admit I find some of you pretty attractive. I am a normal, healthy, biological male. Of course I'm attracted to women, and that should be seen as a compliment. That does not automatically mean my intentions were to sleep with you. I don't understand how the words 'Hi, how are you?' gets translated into 'Hi, do you have a boyfriend?' When we started having a conversation in one of the threads did I precede my comment with 'Hi, sorry I'm already attracted to someone else' Sure, maybe some day after getting to know each other a bit more, an infatuation might develop and we could start dating. But women these days seem to think that hetero men are incapable of having a platonic relationship with the other sex. To the girl who showed her dad my message and made him call the cops: Do you have any idea just how ironic that is? I was trying to explain to you how Atwood's 'The Handmaid's Tale' has been severely misinterpreted by third wave feminists. And then you convinced a man to apply authoritarian powers on me, merely for the fact that I am a male. It turns out that men can also be oppressed in society, as was Atwood's intended message of her novel.
To the girl who called me an 'Incel' for trying to discuss Nabokov's magnum opus 'Lolita.' Your lame feminist buzzwords have no bearing on my mental health. Do you really think I like it based solely around the hebophilia? I would encourage you to read it , as the prose is magnificent. But judging by your less than impressive vocabulary, I doubt you would be able to understand it.
To the girl who called me a loser and said I was trying to show off because I said you should read Tolstoy's epic 'War and Peace': I wasn't aware that reading something was suddenly a huge achievement. The fact that I wanted you to read it meant that I believed you were the rare type of woman who could endure such a lengthy piece of literature. The irony is that later in another thread I saw you talking about how you read all the Harry Potter books before you turned 12. It's plainly obvious to see that you view the arts in the most superficial way possible. There's no way I would ever date someone like that.

ABB FIA Formula E Championship
Wikipedia: Season 10 Teams & Drivers Season 10 Calendar
Session Times
Times are in China Standard Time (UTC+08:00)
Friday 24 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 1	17:00 - 17:30	09:00 - 09:30

Saturday 25 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 2	08:00 - 08:30	00:00 - 00:30
Qualifying 1	10:20 - ~11:45	02:20 - ~03:45
Race 1	15:00 - ~16:00	07:00 - ~08:00

Sunday 26 May 2024

Session	Local	UTC
Practice 3	08:00 - 08:30	00:00 - 00:30
Qualifying 2	10:20 - ~11:45	02:20 - ~03:45
Race 2	15:00 - ~16:00	07:00 - ~08:00

​

• Entry List: Here
  
• Timetable/VISA: Here
  
• Event Note: Here
  

Notes:
3:30 minutes of caution = +1 lap
Attack Mode = 6 minutes total
Shanghai International Circuit
Shanghai, China
Circuit Diagram: Here
Pitlane Map: Here
Length: 3.051 KM (1.896 mi)
Turns: 12
Distance: Race 1 - 29 Laps, Race 2 - 28 Laps + Any Additional Laps from Caution Period
Live Streaming & Timing

• Official Live Timing: Here
• Official YouTube Channel: Here
• Official Twitch Channel: Here
• Official Facebook Page: Here
• Other Streams: Check MotorsportsStreams2 or MotorsportsReplays

Check out the official ABB Formula E Championship TV/Streaming Guide to find out more about coverage in your area.
Official YouTube Links (Subject to Change):
FP1 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=557_sFq9gFg (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
FP2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPftbVR2s9s (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lssaJiYWrOk (Stream starts 10 minutes before session)
Race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrnuVl_dizg (Stream starts 15 minutes before session)
FP3 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G9S-6z3Sdc (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zdWnQEg0dA (Stream starts 10 minutes before session)
Race 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-W1jcIMC-g (Stream starts 15 minutes before session)
Roku TV (Subject to Change):
FP1: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/9579897bf19b66739ed55c44e88a044e/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-1 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
FP2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/b4803632c28ebe2e12a966ec11ce3f2a/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-2 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/01e71b4b43d83211a3803830775e80e2/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-qualifying (Stream starts 20 minutes before session)
Race: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/8818d4f5b7dea1f6855bd5dcea009d0b/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-race-1 (Stream starts 60 minutes before session)
FP3 : https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/e3e928f413d913f8cb764dd32af3161e/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-free-practice-3 (Stream starts 5 minutes before session)
Qualifying 2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/1749d85556260ad74d2ceb4195182a55/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-qualifying (Stream starts 20 minutes before session)
Race 2: https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/5cca9e514db3dc39e099e5ab9c90d2fb/formula-e-shanghai-eprix-race-2 (Stream starts 60 minutes before session)

(Beware: This is long, but I think it’s therapeutic for me to type it all out, lol.)
The last few months have been really rough for me. A little back story, I’m 35 years old. Grew up with alot of Baptist and Mennonite type teachings. I walked away from Christianity two years ago, and the last couple of years have been ones of deconstructing. My family still does not know, so I’ve been alone in this whole process. I’m #3 of 7 kids, and the only one who has walked away from Christianity.
I am still a virgin. During the last two years, I was getting to know a 46 year old man. He took me out on a date, and shortly after our first date he mentioned “the distance between us” — meaning having sex. I told him I still needed time to get to know someone first, before having sex with them. I had shared with him that I had, or was walking away from my Christian upbringing, and it was challenging for me with my family… but I didn’t tell him yet I was still a virgin. I wanted to know if I could trust him. I did let him know that sex wasn’t all I was looking for. I said I wanted something more. I told him if a sexual relationship was all he wanted, we could part knowing we both have different needs, and I’d wish him well. He said ‘oh no, he wanted the same things as well.’
A month after our first date, I found out that he had a girlfriend that he was hiding. I was not comfortable with it, and didn’t want to be another number on his list, so I told him we should stop talking.
(Side note: He hides evidence of her online, and has no pictures of them together. His status is “single” on Facebook. I found photos of them at an event—holding hands — shortly after his and my date, and he’s taken her home to his parents a few times.) When I asked him about her, he said he “didn’t know what I meant.”
6 weeks went by, and he and I spoke again. He said he was bummed with how I ended things. He said how he wanted to say more to me, but he was glad I was doing well. We both were so attracted to each other, and there was alooot of chemistry there. I enjoyed talking with him, and so, we started texting again. He would text me every so often, wish me well, wondered how I was doing or tell me he was thinking of me. Every now and then, he’d send a “hug” emoji on my Facebook photos. Sometimes he’d send photos of himself (clothed, haha) and ask me if I could see a difference. (He had lost 21 pounds). Somewhere in there, he suggested that we should go travel to Italy together in 2024 — and to which I said, “that would be so fun!”
In December (5 months ago), I ran into him again, and he gave me a very passionate hug and nuzzled his cheek against mine. He texted me later to say how good it was to see me. I unexpectedly ran into him again in February, and he gave me another passionate hug, but this time nuzzled both my cheeks — one side and then switched to the other side, and moved his hands up and down my back and lower back. I enjoyed it (haha), and he reached forward to kiss me, and then suddenly went, “Noooope!” And ran out the door with a slight grin. I was so disappointed that we didn’t kiss, and felt very self-conscious about it — like, maybe it was my fault for being awkward? Did he get scared? He texted afterwards, ‘it was good to see me, and I looked great.’ A few days later, he asked if I’d ever want him to come over for dinner. I said, “I’d love that!” Then he asked, “Would you ever want me to spend the night?” And I said, “Maybe.” 😜 He just said, “Haha.”
I still hadn’t told him yet that I was a virgin. I decided after a year and a half of knowing him, and feeling the possibility of us being together intimately soon, I needed to tell him. SO, I did. I told him I was still a virgin due to my upbringing, but I no longer held to those beliefs, and I was no longer saving it for somebody. I told him I did want sex, but I just don’t want to do it with somebody I don’t know.
He was silent in thought for a bit, and then he said:
”You should not be ashamed of that...in reality you should be proud of that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or that situation at all. You should NOT just ‘get it over with.’ You will regret that forever. Just go with the flow. It will happen at the correct time. But don't force it and there is absolutely NOTHING you should be ashamed about. It's actually very respectable.”
When he responded with that, I was so relieved! I thought he took it very well!
We talked alittle about my vibrator, and he said it was “giving him some thoughts, for sure!”
Not long after that, he completely ghosted me. (This was a couple months ago.) I have been completely devastated. I’ve been doing some reading, and I’m fairly certain he has an Avoidant Attachment Style. He was married once for 7 years, and got divorced 13 years ago. He hasn’t married since. I have found evidence of his having atleast 4 girlfriends in the last 5 years — who knows, there may have been more.
But I ask myself, if all he wanted was sex, why did he “hang in there” for over a year and a half? Why didn’t he ghost after a month or two? I suppose me telling him I was a virgin was the “nail in the coffin” for him, but I still don’t understand. It’s been deeply hurtful. Just because I have no experience doesn’t mean we wouldn’t have a good time? (Sorry for the TMI.) 🤣🙈🙊 The chemistry was really, really strong between us. I really thought he was going to be my “first one.”
I also feel like I have lost a friend. We would always text here and there—never sexual, but just chit chat. (Even though the chemistry was always flowing underneath.)
Deconstructing from Christianity has been a deeply lonely experience, and to have this happen on top of it has been crushing. Couldn’t he atleast have sent a goodbye message, like, “Sorry, I don’t want to teach a virgin,” or something? 😭
The other day, a former best friend of mine (who is Seventh Day Adventist) texted me and asked me how I was and what was new in my life. I’ve been hurting so much over this situation, so I told her how a guy dumped me for being a virgin, and how it’s hurt my self-esteem, making me feel like worthless rubbish.
She said: “Remember that your virginity is a special gift you are saving for your husband and he will be grateful for it. …You can always change to be like the world, but they can never change to be like you.”
I know she meant well, but her message really irked me. After I told her, I wished I had never told her in the first place. She and I are no longer on the “same page” with these things. I’ve been wondering if it would be best if I slowly cut ties with her—because we believe so different.
I feel so alone and lonely—not to mention how hurt and stuck I feel over this whole guy situation. 😞 I really, genuinely cared about him — as a friend, and I had hoped, more. (That’s why I’m on Reddit, ha!! Thank you all for listening. I have no one else to talk to.) 🩷

Welcome to /Charity!

Got a charitable cause you'd like to share! This is the place!

Requirements

For 501c(3) non-profits (US) or a Non-Governmental Organization (aka NGO outside the US)

• For a registered 501c(3) or other certified charity (such as NGO's in other non-US countries), the charity must be listed in a governmental web site for verification.
• A fundraiser that is being handled directly by that charity, such as the American Heart Association's Heartwalk or JDRF's charity walk, where you supply a link on their site for your team/yourself.
• A crowdfunding site that shows it is directly benefiting a certified charity.

Please modmail us so that we can flair your post as a registered certified non-profit!

For Everyone Else

You must have both

• Account age of 30 days or older AND
• Comment karma of 250 or greater.

NOTE: We are specifically looking for COMMENT karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.

To view your karma breakdown:

• Mouse-hover over your username on desktop. This works for both the old and redesigned web site.
• On the official Reddit app for iOS, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the official Reddit app for Android, you can't. Complain on /redditmobile.
• On the unofficial Reddit App for Android, RIF (Formerly known as Reddit is Fun), your breakdown is listed on your profile screen.

The following circumventions will result in a ban:

• Using a karma farming subreddit, such as Karma4You, or asking focomplaining about karma in a general sub.
• Unsolicited private messaging to push your campaign.
• Posting your campaign on someone else's post.

Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.

Credibility, Community, and You

AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements for Individuals?
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
This trust issue doesn't exist in the same way with certified non-profit groups, as you can look them up online for verification, and at least in the case of 501c(3)s, their spending is transparent due to their required tax filings which are public information.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.

Rules

1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Show evidence . This includes:
   1. If this is for your pet, photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture.
   2. School documentation showing enrollment if you are asking for assistance for school.
   3. Redacted bills showing your situation.
   4. Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
   5. At minimum, please attach an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) with a handwritten note of your username.
   6. Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" will be removed.
2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
3. Only 1 campaign per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiples simply because they were in the news.
4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
5. Acceptable transfer methods for individuals are for crowdfunding sites only, such as GoFundme, YouCaring, etc. Individuals should avoid using Paypal, crypto, or direct banking aps (like Chase). 501c(3) and NGOs may use whatever method they wish.
6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive.
8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of requirements and both accounts will be banned.
11. Selling is only allowed by 1st parties directly. We do not allow selling by 3rd parties to benefit another organization, as there's no transparency to verify that the announced percentage of sales actually goes to the beneficiary. Only direct sales by the non-profit organization are allowed.

Supporting Information Requested for Non-501c(3) and Non-NGO campaigns.

We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:

• Pet related requests: Photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture. This helps show you actually own the pet in question.
• Education related requests: Documentation showing enrollment or acceptance if you are asking for assistance for school.
• Redacted bills showing your situation. In some cases, a donor may prefer to pay a creditor directly on your behalf, so be prepared and find out if that is available to you.
• If you are sharing a campaign for a registered certified non-profit organization (such as a 501c3 or NGO), you should say so in the post, and it should list that status on the campaign page/web site.
• Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.

Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.

How to Include a Photo or Other Supporting Info Document In Your Post

Because Reddit wasn't initially designed to handle photos when it was created, it has limitations in the implementation of photo support which don't work well for us. So instead we suggest the following:

1. Upload your photo to Imgur.com or other photo hosting site.
2. Copy the URL for the photo.
3. Create a new post or Edit your existing one to include the URL to the photo.

Please make sure to include this, as it is the primary reason why posts that are otherwise fine get removed.

Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further

Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

• Make sure your campaign has been shared among your Facebook friends! You might think it's embarrassing, however your friends and family are more likely to care than internet strangers.
• Show that you've exhausted all the other possibilities. A lot of potential donors don't like to give money when it seems like the requester's first and only solution is to simply throw someone else's money at the problem. Nobody is going to take your word when you literally only say, "but I've done everything!", when the actual reality is probably closer to "I've done everything I can think of", which arguably is NOT everything.
• Show that there's a plan to use the money wisely. Often people have campaigns for their business ideas, but it doesn't really seem like they thought it all the way through. Tell people what steps you've taken so far, and what you're going to do next.
• Be open to critics. If there's something that people ask about, you should not be dismissive. Provide more detail. There's a possibility that they know something you don't, or they have something different about their own experience that might be useful to you. If you simply brush off your critics, it shows objectively that you're not doing everything possible.
• Review your own campaign with the mindset of a potential donor. Ask yourself, "Would I give money to this?" Or get a friend to review it for you.

Questions?

Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.

Welcome to /gofundme!

____
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
​
Credibility, Community, and You
AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements?
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
​
**REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!**
​
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.
_____
Account Requirements
All accounts must meet BOTH of the following:

1. Account age of 90 days or older.
2. *Comment* karma of 250 or greater.

NOTE: We are specifically looking for *COMMENT* karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.
​
To view your karma breakdown:

• Mouse-hover over your username on desktop. This works for both the old and redesigned web site.
• On the official Reddit app for iOS, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the official Reddit app for Android, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the unofficial Reddit App for Android, RIF (Formerly known as Reddit is Fun), your breakdown is listed on your profile screen.

​
The following circumventions will result in a ban, and get you added to the UniversalScammerList:

• Using a karma farming subreddit, such as Karma4You. Also posts and comments asking for karma or complaining that you don't have enough karma counts as karma farming.
• Unsolicited private messaging to push your campaign.
• Posting your campaign on someone else's post. (EVEN ON THIS ONE!)

Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.
_____
Rules
​

1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Be prepared to show evidence if needed. If the mods find it lacking, it may be removed.
2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
3. Only 1 GoFundMe per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiple GFMs simply because they were in the news.
4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
5. Crowdfunding sites only. No crypto currency, direct PayPal, cash transfers, trading or loans. Our scope is only GoFundMe and other crowd sourced funding sites.
6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive. Also, they're too often used to scam people (remember the campaign to fund Trump's wall?).
8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of the requirements and the accounts in question will be banned. (New Oct 22, 2020)
11. No referral links. A referral link like that isn't likely to solve anyone's financial problems in the time frame they need. (New March 16, 2024)

Any referral links posted here will be flagged as spam, and may trigger your account to be added to Reddit's site-wide spammer list.
_____
Supporting Information Requested
We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:
- Pet related requests: Photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture. This helps show you actually own the pet in question.
- Education related requests: Documentation showing enrollment or acceptance if you are asking for assistance for school.
- Redacted bills showing your situation. In some cases, a donor may prefer to pay a creditor directly on your behalf, so be prepared and find out if that is available to you.
- If you are sharing a campaign for a registered certified non-profit organization (such as a 501c3 or NGO), you should say so in the post, and it should list that status on the campaign page/web site.
- Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
- At minimum, an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) holding a handwritten note of your username is required if none of the above apply.
Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.
_____
Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further
Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

• Make sure your campaign has been shared among your Facebook friends! You might think it's embarrassing, however your friends and family are more likely to care than internet strangers.
• Show that you've exhausted all the other possibilities. A lot of potential donors don't like to give money when it seems like the requester's first and only solution is to simply throw someone else's money at the problem. Nobody is going to take your word when you literally only say, "but I've done everything!", when the actual reality is probably closer to "I've done everything I can think of", which arguably is NOT everything.
• Show that there's a plan to use the money wisely. Often people have campaigns for their business ideas, but it doesn't really seem like they thought it all the way through. Tell people what steps you've taken so far, and what you're going to do next.
• Be open to critics. If there's something that people ask about, you should not be dismissive. Provide more detail. There's a possibility that they know something you don't, or they have something different about their own experience that might be useful to you. If you simply brush off your critics, it shows objectively that you're not doing everything possible.
• Review your own campaign with the mindset of a potential donor. Ask yourself, "Would I give money to this?" Or get a friend to review it for you.

_____
Questions?
Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
​
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.

This isn’t my first post about this guy. We have been exclusive for almost 9 months. First issue was that he won’t add me on Facebook and blocked me when questioned which still has not been resolved. His reason was he doesn’t want drama over other women. (His ex is on there and others apparently)
He was seeing her just 3 months before him and I met and kept a friendship with her. Let me start by saying I am a very fair person but have boundaries about exes. After the 4th time I saw her name pop up while he was at my home I had a polite but stern conversation that I am not ok with my boyfriend having an emotional connection with his ex. He has said things like he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by cutting her off before but agreed to stop talking to her. Fast forward a month later him and I just finished sex and her name is coming up as an incoming call again for the 5th time. It crushes me to see bc it means he never had the talk and doesn’t care about my boundary. We argue. He says “they have a closer connection bc she also has kids and can relate” now she’s “like a sister”. And I am overreacting bc it was just a call and he can’t help she calls. Next day I decide to look this girl up on Instagram and see on her public profile a distinct photo she posted taken on his property.. meaning he sent the exact same photo to her AND me 3am same night. Crushed. I felt sick.
When we tried to communicate about this issue he is horrible… tells me to get over it and bc I keep “causing drama” and “endless attacks” we are not compatible. So after a toxic text exchange I decide to go silent. Now he messages me everyday that he misses me, loves me.. and is trying to meet up again.
When someone repeatedly stomps on your boundaries is it OK to ghost, ignore? My mental health has tanked.

This isn’t my first post about this guy. We have been exclusive for almost 9 months. First issue was that he won’t add me on Facebook and blocked me when questioned which still has not been resolved. His reason was he doesn’t want drama over other women. (His ex is on there and others apparently)
He was seeing her just 3 months before him and I met and kept a friendship with her. Let me start by saying I am a very fair person but have boundaries about exes. After the 4th time I saw her name pop up while he was at my home I had a polite but stern conversation that I am not ok with my boyfriend having an emotional connection with his ex. He has said things like he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by cutting her off before but agreed to stop talking to her. Fast forward a month later him and I just finished sex and her name is coming up as an incoming call again for the 5th time. It crushes me to see bc it means he never had the talk and doesn’t care about my boundary. We argue. He says “they have a closer connection bc she also has kids and can relate” now she’s “like a sister”. And I am overreacting bc it was just a call and he can’t help she calls. Next day I decide to look this girl up on Instagram and see on her public profile a distinct photo she posted taken on his property.. meaning he sent the exact same photo to her AND me 3am same night. Crushed. I felt sick.
When we tried to communicate about this issue he is horrible… tells me to get over it and bc I keep “causing drama” and “endless attacks” we are not compatible. So after a toxic text exchange I decide to go silent. Now he messages me everyday that he misses me, loves me.. and is trying to meet up again.
When someone repeatedly stomps on your boundaries is it OK to ghost, ignore? My mental health has tanked.

This isn’t my first post about this guy. We have been exclusive for almost 9 months. First issue was that he won’t add me on Facebook and blocked me when questioned which still has not been resolved. His reason was he doesn’t want drama over other women. (His ex is on there and others apparently)
He was seeing her just 3 months before him and I met and kept a friendship with her. Let me start by saying I am a very fair person but have boundaries about exes. After the 4th time I saw her name pop up while he was at my home I had a polite but stern conversation that I am not ok with my boyfriend having an emotional connection with his ex. He has said things like he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by cutting her off before but agreed to stop talking to her. Fast forward a month later him and I just finished sex and her name is coming up as an incoming call again for the 5th time. It crushes me to see bc it means he never had the talk and doesn’t care about my boundary. We argue. He says “they have a closer connection bc she also has kids and can relate” now she’s “like a sister”. And I am overreacting bc it was just a call and he can’t help she calls. Next day I decide to look this girl up on Instagram and see on her public profile a distinct photo she posted taken on his property.. meaning he sent the exact same photo to her AND me 3am same night. Crushed. I felt sick.
When we tried to communicate about this issue he is horrible… tells me to get over it and bc I keep “causing drama” and “endless attacks” we are not compatible. So after a toxic text exchange I decide to go silent. Now he messages me everyday that he misses me, loves me.. and is trying to meet up again.
When someone repeatedly stomps on your boundaries is it OK to ghost, ignore? My mental health has tanked.

I just wanted to put this out of my head since it got brought up yesterday.
I, 46F was raised by a passive aggressive mother, an alcoholic father, and have an older sister 48F. There were a lot of happy times but the bad outweigh the good. Some things are not chronological because I remember the event but not how old I was.
*Note Maw Maw is mentioned as telling some details but these were 20+ years later acter she developed dementia. She'd never tell me to hurt me.
First big thing I remember was the clean your plate rule. My dad fixed pork chops and I did not like them. As in choked down small pieces and chugged water to avoid throwing up. One day I decided not to eat them. I sat 3 days at the table with a dried out chop on the plate in front of my before my mother tossed it out. Maw Maw complained that I missed school for this. (I didn't remember missing school but was told that part).
I don't remember the age but at one point I was scared of the dark. I slept outside my parents door since they didn't want me disturbing their sleep. I think I talked or something, can't remember. My dad decided to "cure" my fear by hiding under my bed. When I went to get in bed, he grabbed my ankles, drug me under the bed, and was making growling sounds while pinching me.
When I was 8, we went to San Antonio for a weekend and my sis and I each were allowed to pick one event we wanted to do. She wanted to go to the Alamo and I wanted to walk on the Riverwalk. We went to the Alamo then my parents decided to head home early. I asked about the Riverwalk and was asked why I was making the trip all about me. The 4ish hour drive home I was told how disappointing it was that I cried/pouted for not getting my way.
Same time frame we were dropped off at my mom's parents Friday nights and picked up Sundays. Mom worked nights as a nurse and my dad didn't want to deal with us. According to Maw Maw, I told him to tell my mom I loved her when he saw her in the morning and he told me to go away and couldn't stand my voice.
Went on a trip to Colorado when I was 11. Same situation but we both got to do the activities we chose. Mine was horseback riding and overall I remember the trip as being wonderful. On the trip back, my mother said next time we had a vacation that I was to choose something appropriate everyone would enjoy.
Around the same time I wanted to do dance. Sis and I were enrolled and after 2 years she wanted to start modeling. It was more expensive so I was pulled from dance too. This was when my mother told me that I was chubby and was put on a diet. My sister was in a snobby phase and was my biggest bully. Junior high I kept my friends to a min due to my sister "pranking" me with pretend friends. That's a whole story on its own.
If I ever expressed interest in non girly things, I was told what a disappointment I was and compared to my sister by my mother). I wasn't into designer clothes, make up, pretty things, hair styles, etc.
At one point when I attempted to dip out of life, she sent me to a therapist. Turned out the nurse (receptionist?) was my mom's friend and told stuff that was said in my sessions. 1 - my mom had promised to leave my dad if he started drinking again and then didn't. 2 - that I'd overheard a few years earlier (I think I was 8 or 9) my dad asking why I was having a big party when I didn't have friends. Mother's response was that she would look bad not having one and I had a couple of friends and she just invited sister's friends so it was boring. 3 - that I felt she loved my sister more and wished I wasn't born. I was lectured for making her look like a bad parent and I needed to tell positive things about her. I never said another word to the therapist and stopped trying to ha e friends or interests.
Late 8th grade, I developed a LOT and my sister spread rumors to her high school friends that I showed my boobs to guys to make them like me. When I started high school I was automatically a slut and had 2 friends. Avoided people as much as possible and just tried to get through the next 4 years. Junior year I met a guy who was sweet and liked me......yeah no. He heard I would put out. When I didn't, he made it a reality and I ended up pregnant the first time I had sex. My dad found out and pushed my down the stairs for being a whore. Baby was fine.
Both parents were super sweet now and I was fooled into thinking it was me. That's when I found out that my parents had wanted a boy and had everything picked out for a boy baby. Being born female screwed that up for them. Having a boy was my redemption.
When my son was 4, my dad drove drunk with him in the front seat. Hit another car and left the scene. I asked my son about the trucks boo boo and he told me about the other car. I smelled alcohol on my dad and figured the rest out. This was before 7am....he was not allowed to be alone with my son anymore and definitely not allowed to drive with my son in the car. My mother said she knew I wouldn't be a good daughter for long.
Got married in 2001 without my dad and refused to let him walk me down the aisle and he passed in 2005 with maybe 5 visits between us over those years. I was low contact with my mother because I was tired of constantly being put last, told I needed to lose weight, that I was parenting wrong, etc.
I had 3 more kids several years later and my mother had minimal interaction with them claiming they were too young and she was so busy. My sister had 2 kids closer to my oldest's age that she spent more time with and I hated going to events at my mom's and seeing all the pics of my oldest son, niece, and nephew and then 1 or 2 of all 3 of my other kids. Then sis got remarried and gained a stepdaughter. Shortly after she had another daughter with hubby #2. All the kids knew that the 1st grandchild was her favorite and I hated that.
In 2010 I got divorced. Asked my mother to cosign an apt and was told no that she wasn't willing to be on the hook for a $700/mo apt note if I defaulted. Mind you, she was paying $1000/mo for my sister's 2 daughters and step daughter to do dance. She said she was not obligated to help me and I needed to get my priorities fixed. If I wanted to divorce then I needed to have arrangements made on my own. A friend cosigned for me and I busted my ass to make sure to never need a dime from my mother.
In 2013 my Maw Maw had moved in with her and I was around a lot more. Maw Maw was the mom I never had and knew allllll the problems I'd had with my parents. In 2016 Maw Maw broke her hip and my mother and I got close taking care of her at the rehab. Between the 2 of us, Maw Maw never had a day without one of us there and I was the one called when she had bad episodes in the middle of the night. In 2017 she passed and it was the hardest time in my life.
My mother and I got closer taking trips to her graveside 5 hours away, running her around on errands when she developed an eye issue (RP) causing night blindness. One thing I started to realize was that if I ever was not available to take her somewhere, she was irritated and made comments that she wished I cared as much for her as I had Maw Maw. Conversations were always geared towards herself, church, my sister's family and especially her first great grandkid. Any time I brought up me or my 3 younger kids, the topic was changed quickly. I started back to distancing myself and having less contact to try and not hate myself as much.
In Nov 22 I had to have surgery to remove a tumor in my back that was pressing on a nerve causing pain that made me unable to walk at rimes. I had attempted to tell her details leading up to it a few times but topic always changed. She acted offended that someone at her church knew more details than she did and made her look bad.
In May 23 my youngest graduated a year early and the same time as my youngest niece. She sat with my sister which I did not care about. But I texted her saying where we (my kids and me) were meeting to do pics on the football field. She said OK then after the ceremony, asked us to meet on the opposite end zone. I said my daughter could after I got my pics. My son had jumped the retaining wall and got to his sister before I did. I could see him and was almost to him when my daughter called saying that her nana wanted her at the other end to take pics. I was so upset and started crying so I left.
Yes, I was not in the right and could have waited but I just felt so defeated and was in physical pain. The issue (my excuse/reasoning?) is that I have a bad back, Osteoarthritis stage 3, and residual nerve damage. The tumor removed helped a few months earlier helped but sitting on the metal bleachers for 4 hours did not. Called my mother and told her that I hoped it was worth it and that I was done. 20 minutes after I got home (so maybe 30-40 minutes since my daughter walked away) my daughter called me to say she was back by where I had been. Told her I was already home but that I was proud of her and maybe we could gets pics later by the school.
That was a Thursday and the following Monday my mother called my older daughter to see if I was still in a mood. (I blocked her number and Facebook) Not because she was sorry, but because I was supposed to take her to the cemetery to put new flowers for Maw Maw that coming Saturday. I cried for 2 days after that and it just solidified that I needed to have her out of my life forever to be able to mentally ok(ish).
To date, I have not talked to her, she sent Christmas gifts home with my younger son and wouldn't take them back so I gave them away. All 4 kids think I need to let go of my grudge and forgive her. I have not thought a lot about her or the graduation other than that was my eye opener that I deserve to be happy and she wasn't a part of that path.
Also, for my younger years issues: I still cannot have open space under a bed or I stay awake thinking of things under the bed. I cannot eat pork chops and just the thought makes me want to gag. I feel if I don't clean my plate I'm a failure and either over eat or under eat. Now I really am fat so my mother had that accurate. I do not celebrate my birthday and only 2 of my kids know/remember it. I do not discuss feelings because I don't trust anyone not to share it. 1 change in progress is that if I want something I go for it even if it's not convenient for someone else or they don't agree.