Quotes for pictures of yourself
For pictures of your companions
2022.07.19 10:17 BigBeanMarketing For pictures of your companions
UK based subreddit for your pets, pictures and discussion.
2018.01.24 05:12 cthulhu-kitty For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.
For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.
2008.03.11 21:04 /r/quotes: For your favorite quotes
Welcome to Quotes
2024.06.02 07:05 mansplanar Don’t Know What To Write For A Hinge Prompt? I Came Up With 36 Hilarious Answers
I’m not going to lie, I used to have no faith in dating apps. I thought that all the people I found on Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble were all people I could never click with in real life. But then I did it. My friend and I took the jump. We downloaded a dating app and tried to come up with funny answers to Hinge prompts to make my profile the best it could be. What started off as a joke, slowly turned into something that made us excited. We looked forward to showing each other the guys we matched with and the conversations that were started.
We giggled as we made each other’s accounts, choosing the hottest pictures of us and creating the most ridiculous responses to the Hinge prompts that would be on our profiles. We hoped to find someone who could match our silly energy and find someone that we could be authentic with: We wanted to find someone who would encourage us to delete the app.
Hinge prompts are like interview-based questions that make things a little more interesting than a generic bio with your name and age. All prompts have a 150-character limit so the answers should be short and clever. You can even use a voice prompt but the point is to show off what makes you, you: uniqueness is key. So, if you’re looking to beef up your profile, here are 36 Hinge prompt answers to add to your profile.
Oh, and PS, some of these are actually from my Hinge feed and are the perfect way to get into someone’s DMs. Jussayin’.
“Dating me is like…”
Be transparent and give a glimpse into what it is like to be with you.
“Reading a really good book…but you’re dyslexic.”
“Having TSA Pre-Check.”
“You know that feeling of closing dozens of Chrome tabs after finishing your last final before a holiday.”
“Finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly on the first try.”
“My Most Irrational Fear”
From heights to clowns, this is a great place to talk about your fears.
“Finding out I’m allergic to food while eating it.”
“Fear itself?”
“You ignoring my profile.”
“Swallowing seeds because I was told a plant would sprout in my belly.”
“Green Flags I look for…”
Get a little deeper about your type. What are you looking for? Be open and honest.
“Using a fork properly, rather than stabbing at your food”
“Being good with kids.”
“Survival skills. If we ever get stranded on a desert island, you should know what to do.”
“Always has room for dessert.”
“A Shower Thought I Recently Had…”
This prompt is a great way to show off your humor. Be creative with this.
“Is Punxsutawney Phil emotionally okay?”
“It’s illegal to own one guinea pig in Switzerland because they get lonely.”
“Water is not wet.”
“Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969.”
“We’re the Same Type of Weird If…”
This is definitely a more lighthearted prompt. Pick something that is totally unique about yourself.
“You enjoy the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, too.”
“You can eat pickles at any time of the day.”
“You still play with Legos.”
“You pour the milk before the cereal.”
“First Round Is on Me If…”
Be assertive! Skip the small talk and invite your match to drinks. Don’t be super easy though. Pose a challenge.
“You can beat me at bowling. I’ll accept Wii Bowling.”
“You can beat me at today’s Wordle.”
“You can quote [movie].”
“If you can beat an escape room.”
“Unusual Skills”
Showcase some niche interests. Anything that comes with a story is perfect if you want to keep the convo going.
“Belly dancing.”
“I can catch basically any reptile.”
“Notorious alarm setter who can still sleep past their alarm.”
“I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.”
“Let’s Debate About…”
Controversial topics can get the ball rolling. This could be serious or maybe something flirty.
“Pineapple on pizza?”
“Brunch should never be before 1 p.m.”
“It’s acceptable to eat a tomato like how you eat an apple.”
“A morning person can never be trusted.”
“Together, We Could…”
Outline a dream date! Highlight your favorite ways to get to know someone
“Cook a nice dish and drink a bottle of wine.”
“Rule the world.”
“Be like when oxygen and magnesium get together… because people will be saying OMg.”
“Backpack our way through Europe: Paris, Florence, and Madrid are on my bucket list.”
Overall, Hinge prompts allow you to showcase yourself, your passions, and what you are looking for. Successful prompt responses should show a bit of your humor and vulnerability. Don’t be afraid to be genuine. These are the perfect way to kick-start conversations with matches. Dig deep. Good luck!
submitted by mansplanar to MatchMeBro [link] [comments]
We giggled as we made each other’s accounts, choosing the hottest pictures of us and creating the most ridiculous responses to the Hinge prompts that would be on our profiles. We hoped to find someone who could match our silly energy and find someone that we could be authentic with: We wanted to find someone who would encourage us to delete the app.
Hinge prompts are like interview-based questions that make things a little more interesting than a generic bio with your name and age. All prompts have a 150-character limit so the answers should be short and clever. You can even use a voice prompt but the point is to show off what makes you, you: uniqueness is key. So, if you’re looking to beef up your profile, here are 36 Hinge prompt answers to add to your profile.
Oh, and PS, some of these are actually from my Hinge feed and are the perfect way to get into someone’s DMs. Jussayin’.
“Dating me is like…”
Be transparent and give a glimpse into what it is like to be with you.
“Reading a really good book…but you’re dyslexic.”
“Having TSA Pre-Check.”
“You know that feeling of closing dozens of Chrome tabs after finishing your last final before a holiday.”
“Finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly on the first try.”
“My Most Irrational Fear”
From heights to clowns, this is a great place to talk about your fears.
“Finding out I’m allergic to food while eating it.”
“Fear itself?”
“You ignoring my profile.”
“Swallowing seeds because I was told a plant would sprout in my belly.”
“Green Flags I look for…”
Get a little deeper about your type. What are you looking for? Be open and honest.
“Using a fork properly, rather than stabbing at your food”
“Being good with kids.”
“Survival skills. If we ever get stranded on a desert island, you should know what to do.”
“Always has room for dessert.”
“A Shower Thought I Recently Had…”
This prompt is a great way to show off your humor. Be creative with this.
“Is Punxsutawney Phil emotionally okay?”
“It’s illegal to own one guinea pig in Switzerland because they get lonely.”
“Water is not wet.”
“Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969.”
“We’re the Same Type of Weird If…”
This is definitely a more lighthearted prompt. Pick something that is totally unique about yourself.
“You enjoy the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, too.”
“You can eat pickles at any time of the day.”
“You still play with Legos.”
“You pour the milk before the cereal.”
“First Round Is on Me If…”
Be assertive! Skip the small talk and invite your match to drinks. Don’t be super easy though. Pose a challenge.
“You can beat me at bowling. I’ll accept Wii Bowling.”
“You can beat me at today’s Wordle.”
“You can quote [movie].”
“If you can beat an escape room.”
“Unusual Skills”
Showcase some niche interests. Anything that comes with a story is perfect if you want to keep the convo going.
“Belly dancing.”
“I can catch basically any reptile.”
“Notorious alarm setter who can still sleep past their alarm.”
“I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.”
“Let’s Debate About…”
Controversial topics can get the ball rolling. This could be serious or maybe something flirty.
“Pineapple on pizza?”
“Brunch should never be before 1 p.m.”
“It’s acceptable to eat a tomato like how you eat an apple.”
“A morning person can never be trusted.”
“Together, We Could…”
Outline a dream date! Highlight your favorite ways to get to know someone
“Cook a nice dish and drink a bottle of wine.”
“Rule the world.”
“Be like when oxygen and magnesium get together… because people will be saying OMg.”
“Backpack our way through Europe: Paris, Florence, and Madrid are on my bucket list.”
Overall, Hinge prompts allow you to showcase yourself, your passions, and what you are looking for. Successful prompt responses should show a bit of your humor and vulnerability. Don’t be afraid to be genuine. These are the perfect way to kick-start conversations with matches. Dig deep. Good luck!
2024.06.01 15:33 xfallenangelx95 28/F I'm slowly losing hope I'll ever find someone new to talk to 😞 I'm looking for people who really want to make friends and talk on a daily basis - People who talk a lot and never lie to others 🤗 I'm looking for like-minded people who also have no friends and love serious yet warm discussions
(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to InternetFriends [link] [comments]
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
2024.06.01 15:30 xfallenangelx95 [28/F] It's not easy to find someone to get along with because not all personalities match - I'm looking for someone to talk to on a daily basis - someone friendless, honest,kind and talkative. I'm looking for like minded people - in the same situation as mine. Let everyone be Happy 🍀 [Friendship]
(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to MeetPeople [link] [comments]
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
★
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
2024.06.01 13:01 jjdewit TradingView.com Review: Overview of TradingView.com and its Features
TradingView.com.com is a popular online platform that provides a comprehensive suite of tools and resources for traders, investors, and analysts to analyze and trade financial markets. In this chapter, we will provide an overview of TradingView.com, its features, and its benefits, setting the stage for a deeper dive into the platform's capabilities in subsequent chapters.
1. Charting and Technical Analysis: TradingView.com provides a powerful charting platform that allows users to create custom charts with various indicators, drawing tools, and annotations. Users can also access a vast library of pre-built indicators and templates.
2. Backtesting and Paper Trading: TradingView.com allows users to backtest and paper trade their strategies using historical data, enabling them to refine their trading ideas and test their performance.
3. Community and Social Trading: TradingView.com has a large and active community of users who share their ideas, strategies, and insights. Users can follow other traders, participate in discussions, and share their own ideas and insights.
4. Alerts and Notifications: TradingView.com provides a robust alert system that allows users to set custom alerts based on market conditions, technical indicators, and other criteria.
5. Data Feeds: TradingView.com offers a range of data feeds, including real-time and historical data, for various markets and instruments.
6. Scripting and Automation: TradingView.com's PineScript language allows users to create custom indicators, strategies, and automated trading systems.
7. Mobile Apps: TradingView.com offers mobile apps for iOS and Android devices, enabling users to access the platform on-the-go.
1. Improved Trading Decisions: TradingView.com's charting and analysis tools enable users to make more informed trading decisions.
2. Access to a Large Community: TradingView.com's community provides users with access to a vast network of traders, analysts, and experts.
3. Customization and Automation: TradingView.com's scripting and automation capabilities allow users to create custom strategies and automate their trading.
4. Real-time Data and Alerts: TradingView.com's real-time data and alert system enable users to stay up-to-date with market movements and react quickly to market changes.
5. Cost-Effective: TradingView.com offers a range of pricing plans, including a free version, making it an accessible platform for traders and analysts.
1. Visit the Sign-up Page: Go to the [Platform/Service] website and click on the "Sign Up" or "Create an Account" button. This will take you to the sign-up page.
2. Enter Your Email Address: Enter a valid email address to serve as your login credentials. Make sure to use a unique and memorable email address, as it will be used to reset your password if needed.
3. Choose a Username: Choose a unique and memorable username that will be used to identify you on the platform. This can be your real name, a nickname, or a combination of letters and numbers.
4. Create a Password: Create a strong and unique password for your account. A strong password should be at least 8 characters long and include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and special characters.
5. Confirm Your Password: Re-enter your password to confirm it. This ensures that you have entered the correct password.
6. Verify Your Account: Click on the "Create Account" button to create your account. You will receive an email verification link to verify your email address.
1. Fill Out Your Profile Information: Fill out your profile information, including your name, birthday, and location. This information will be used to personalize your experience and connect with other users.
2. Add a Profile Picture: Upload a profile picture that represents you. This can be a photo of yourself, a logo, or an avatar.
3. Add a Bio: Write a brief bio that describes yourself, your interests, or your expertise. This will help others get to know you better and find common ground.
4. Customize Your Profile Settings: Customize your profile settings to control what information is visible to others and what notifications you receive.
5. Connect with Others: Start connecting with other users by sending friend requests or joining groups related to your interests.
· Keep your profile information up-to-date and accurate.
· Be cautious when sharing personal information or connecting with strangers.
· Use the platform's built-in features to block or report suspicious or inappropriate behavior.
· Respect other users' privacy and boundaries.
1. Header Bar: The header bar at the top of the screen displays your username, account balance, and other account information.
2. Navigation Menu: The navigation menu allows you to access various sections of the platform, including your watchlists, charts, and settings.
3. Market Data: The market data section provides real-time quotes for various assets, including stocks, forex, and cryptocurrencies.
4. Alerts: The alerts section allows you to set custom alerts for specific market conditions, such as price movements or news events.
5. Watchlists: The watchlists section enables you to create and manage custom lists of symbols, making it easy to track your favorite assets.
1. Chart Types: TradingView.com offers a range of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and Renko charts.
2. Indicators: The platform comes with a vast library of built-in indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and Bollinger Bands.
3. Drawing Tools: The drawing tools allow you to annotate your charts with lines, shapes, and text.
4. Studies: Studies are custom indicators created by the TradingView.com community, offering a wide range of trading strategies and techniques.
5. PineScript: PineScript is a programming language used to create custom indicators and strategies.
1. PineCoders: PineCoders is a community of developers who create custom indicators and strategies using PineScript.
2. TradingView.com Blog: The TradingView.com blog features articles, analysis, and insights from experienced traders and investors.
3. TradingView.com Forum: The forum is a hub for discussion, debate, and learning, where traders and investors share their experiences and ask questions.
4. Watchlists: Watchlists allow you to share your favorite symbols with others, making it easy to collaborate and learn from each other.
5. PineScript Challenges: PineScript challenges are community-driven initiatives where developers create custom indicators and strategies, and the community votes on the best submissions.
1. Theme: TradingView.com offers a range of themes, allowing you to personalize the look and feel of the platform.
2. Layout: The layout options enable you to customize the arrangement of the platform's components, such as the chart, indicators, and alerts.
3. Notifications: The notification settings allow you to customize the types of notifications you receive, including market data updates and alert notifications.
4. Security: The security settings enable you to set up two-factor authentication, password recovery, and other security measures to protect your account.
1. Line Chart: A line chart connects the closing prices of a security over a specific period, creating a continuous line. This chart is useful for identifying trends and patterns.
2. Candlestick Chart: A candlestick chart displays the high, low, open, and close prices of a security over a specific period. Each candle represents a specific time period, and the color of the candle indicates whether the price closed higher or lower than the previous day's close.
3. Bar Chart: A bar chart is similar to a candlestick chart but does not display the open and close prices. Instead, it shows the high and low prices, as well as the open and close prices.
4. Renko Chart: A Renko chart is a type of chart that uses a unique algorithm to create a chart that is not based on time. Instead, it uses price movements to create a chart that is more focused on the price action.
1. 1-minute: A 1-minute chart displays the price action over a 1-minute period.
2. 5-minute: A 5-minute chart displays the price action over a 5-minute period.
3. 15-minute A 15-minute chart displays the price action over a 15-minute period.
4. 30-minute: A 30-minute chart displays the price action over a 30-minute period.
5. 1-hour: A 1-hour chart displays the price action over a 1-hour period.
6. 4-hour: A 4-hour chart displays the price action over a 4-hour period.
7. Daily: A daily chart displays the price action over a 1-day period.
8. Weekly: A weekly chart displays the price action over a 1-week period.
9. Monthly: A monthly chart displays the price action over a 1-month period.
1. Creating a Chart: To create a chart on TradingView.com, go to the "Charts" tab and select the security you want to chart. Choose the chart type and time frame you want to use.
2. Customizing the Chart: Once you have created a chart, you can customize it by adding indicators, drawing tools, and other features.
3. Switching Time Frames: To switch time frames on TradingView.com, click on the "Time Frame" dropdown menu and select the desired time frame.
4. Zooming In and Out: To zoom in and out of a chart on TradingView.com, use the mouse wheel or the "Zoom" button.
1. Trend Indicators: These indicators help identify trends and potential trading opportunities. Examples include the Moving Average, Relative Strength Index (RSI), and Bollinger Bands.
2. Momentum Indicators: These indicators measure the rate of change of an asset's price over a given period. Examples include the RSI, Stochastic Oscillator, and Momentum Indicator.
3. Volatility Indicators: These indicators measure the degree of price movement or volatility. Examples include the Average True Range (ATR) and Bollinger Bands.
4. Pattern Recognition Indicators: These indicators help identify specific chart patterns, such as head and shoulders or triangles. Examples include the Ichimoku Cloud and the Keltner Channel.
5. Statistical Indicators: These indicators use statistical methods to analyze market data. Examples include the Exponential Moving Average (EMA) and the Simple Moving Average (SMA).
1. Moving Average: A simple moving average calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
2. Relative Strength Index (RSI): The RSI measures the magnitude of recent price changes to determine overbought or oversold conditions.
3. Bollinger Bands: Bollinger Bands consist of a moving average and two standard deviations plotted above and below the average.
4. Stochastic Oscillator: The stochastic oscillator compares the closing price of an asset to its price range over a given period.
5. Ichimoku Cloud: The Ichimoku Cloud is a comprehensive technical analysis system that inclues multiple indicators, including the Tenkan-sen, Kijun-sen, and Senkou Span.
6. Keltner Channel: The Keltner Channel is a volatility-based indicator that plots two lines above and below a moving average.
7. Average True Range (ATR): The ATR measures the average true range of an asset over a given period.
8. Exponential Moving Average (EMA): The EMA is a type of moving average that gives more weight to recent price data.
9. Simple Moving Average (SMA): The SMA is a type of moving average that calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
10. Stochastic Momentum Index (SMI): The SMI is a momentum indicator that measures the rate of change of an aset's price over a given period.
1. Combine Indicators: Combining multiple indicators can help confirm trading signals and reduce false positives.
2. Use Multiple Time Frames: Analyzing multiple time frames can help identify trends and patterns that may not be visible on a single time frame.
3. Adjust Parameters: Adjusting the parameters of an indicator can help tailor it to your specific trading strategy.
4. Use Indicators in Conjunction with Fundamental Analysis: Combining technical indicators with fundamental analysis can help provide a more comprehensive view of the market.
5. Backtest Indicators: Backtesting indicators can help evaluate their performance and identify potential biases.
1. Log in to Your TradingView.com Account: Start by logging in to your TradingView.com account. If you don't have an account, you can create one by signing up on the TradingView.com website.
2. Select the Symbol: Once logged in, navigate to the "Symbols" tab and select the symbol you want to chart. You can search for symbols by typing in the symbol name or by using the "Search" function.
3. Create a New Chart: Click on the "Create a New Chart" button to create a new chart. You can also create a new chart by clicking on the "New Chart" button in the top-right corner of the TradingView.com window.
4. Select the Chart Type: Choose the type of chart you want to create. TradingView.com offers a variety of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and more.
5. Customize the Chart Settings: Customize the chart settings to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
1. Add Indicators: Add indicators to your chart to gain insights into market trends and patterns. TradingView.com offers a wide range of indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and more.
2. Add Drawings: Add drawings to your chart to highlight specific patterns or trends. You can add lines, shapes, and other drawings to your chart to create a visual representation of your analysis.
3. Add Alerts: Set up alerts on your chart to notify you of specific market events or price movements. You can set up alerts based on price movements, volume, and other market indicators.
4. Customize the Chart Grid: Customize the chart grid to suit your needs. You can adjust the grid lines, grid spacing, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
5. Save and Share Your Chart: Save and share your chart with others. You can save your chart as a template or share it with other traders and analysts.
1. Create Custom Indicators: Create custom indicators using the TradingView.com PineScript programming language. You can create custom indicators that meet your specific needs.
2. Use Custom Drawings: Use custom drawings to create complex patterns and shapes on your chart. You can create custom drawings using the TradingView.com drawing tools.
3. Customize the Chart Layout: Customize the chart layout to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
4. Use Advanced Chart Settings: Use advanced chart settings to customize your chart further. You can adjust the chart settings to suit your specific needs.
Chapter 7:
· Trend following strategies: These strategies aim to identify and ride the trend, whether it's an uptrend or a downtrend.
· Range trading strategies: These strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range.
· Mean reversion strategies: These strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means.
· Statistical arbitrage strategies: These strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
Trend following strategies are designed to identify and ride the trend. These strategies involve identifying the direction of the market and trading in that direction. Some popular trend following strategies include:
· Moving Average Crossover (MAC): This strategy involves identifying the crossover of two moving averages to determine the direction of the trend.
· Relative Strength Index (RSI): This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions using the RSI indicator.
· Bollinger Bands: This strategy involves identifying breakouts above or below the bands to determine the direction of the trend.
2.2 Range Trading Strategies
Range trading strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range. These strategies involve identifying support and resistance levels and trading within the range. Some popular range trading strategies include:
· Support and Resistance Trading: This strategy involves identifying key support and resistance levels and trading within the range.
· Channel Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading within a specific price channel.
2.3 Mean Reversion Strategies
Mean reversion strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means. These strategies involve identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction. Some popular mean reversion strategies include:
· Mean Reversion Trading: This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction.
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
2.4 Statistical Arbitrage Strategies
Statistical arbitrage strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them. These strategies involve analyzing historical data and identifying statistical anomalies. Some popular statistical arbitrage strategies include:
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
· Event-Driven Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading on specific events, such as earnings announcements or mergers and acquisitions.
1. Create a new chart: Open a new chart on TradingView.com and select the asset you want to trade.
2. Add indicators: Add the indicators you want to use for your trading strategy. For example, you may want to add a moving average crossover indicator.
3. Set parameters: Set the parameters for your indicators. For example, you may want to set the period for your moving average crossover indicator.
4. Backtest the strategy: Backtest your strategy by running a backtest on TradingView.com. This will allow you to evaluate the performance of your strategy.
5. Refine the strategy: Refine your strategy by adjusting the parameters and testing different scenarios.
1. Identify potential flaws in your strategy
2. Optimize your strategy for better performance
3. Refine your strategy to improve its accuracy
4. Evaluate the strategy's risk-reward ratio
1. Risk management: Backtesting helps you identify potential risks associated with your trading strategy.
2. Strategy optimization: Backtesting allows you to refine your strategy to improve its performance.
3. Performance evaluation: Backtesting enables you to evaluate the performance of your strategy and make data-driven decisions.
4. Confidence booster: Backtesting gives you confidence in your strategy, reducing the risk of emotional trading decisions.
1. Create a new chart: Open TradingView.com and create a new chart for the asset you want to backtest.
2. Select the data range: Choose the time period for which you want to backtest your strategy. You can select a specific date range or use the default settings.
3. Add the strategy: Click on the "Indicators" tab and add the strategy you want to backtest. You can use built-in indicators or create your own custom indicators.
4. Set the parameters: Configure the strategy's parameters, such as the number of bars to look back, the number of trades to take, and the stop-loss levels.
5. Run the backtest: Click the "Run" button to start the backtest. TradingView.com will apply your strategy to the selected data range and provide performance metrics.
6. Analyze the results: Review the backtest results, including the strategy's profit/loss, drawdown, and other performance metrics.
1. Profit/Loss: Calculate the total profit or loss generated by your strategy.
2. Drawdown: Measure the maximum loss experienced by your strategy.
3. Sharpe Ratio: Calculate the Sharpe Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance.
4. Sortino Ratio: Use the Sortino Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance, focusing on the maximum drawdown.
5. Information Coefficient: Calculate the Information Coefficient to evaluate the strategy's ability to generate profits.
1. Use a robust data set: Ensure your data is accurate and free from errors.
2. Test multiple scenarios: Test your strategy on different time frames, assets, and market conditions.
3. Monitor performance metrics: Keep track of your strategy's performance metrics and adjust as needed.
4. Refine your strategy: Continuously refine your strategy to improve its performance.
5. Avoid overfitting: Be cautious of overfitting, where your strategy performs well on the training data but poorly on new data.
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What is TradingView.com?
TradingView.com is a cloud-based platform that enables users to analyze and trade financial markets, including stocks, forex, futures, and cryptocurrencies. Founded in 2011, TradingView.com has grown to become one of the largest and most popular trading communities in the world, with over 10 million registered users.Key Features of TradingView.com
TradingView.com offers a wide range of features that make it an attractive platform for traders and analysts. Some of the key features include:1. Charting and Technical Analysis: TradingView.com provides a powerful charting platform that allows users to create custom charts with various indicators, drawing tools, and annotations. Users can also access a vast library of pre-built indicators and templates.
2. Backtesting and Paper Trading: TradingView.com allows users to backtest and paper trade their strategies using historical data, enabling them to refine their trading ideas and test their performance.
3. Community and Social Trading: TradingView.com has a large and active community of users who share their ideas, strategies, and insights. Users can follow other traders, participate in discussions, and share their own ideas and insights.
4. Alerts and Notifications: TradingView.com provides a robust alert system that allows users to set custom alerts based on market conditions, technical indicators, and other criteria.
5. Data Feeds: TradingView.com offers a range of data feeds, including real-time and historical data, for various markets and instruments.
6. Scripting and Automation: TradingView.com's PineScript language allows users to create custom indicators, strategies, and automated trading systems.
7. Mobile Apps: TradingView.com offers mobile apps for iOS and Android devices, enabling users to access the platform on-the-go.
Benefits of Using TradingView.com
TradingView.com offers several benefits to its users, including:1. Improved Trading Decisions: TradingView.com's charting and analysis tools enable users to make more informed trading decisions.
2. Access to a Large Community: TradingView.com's community provides users with access to a vast network of traders, analysts, and experts.
3. Customization and Automation: TradingView.com's scripting and automation capabilities allow users to create custom strategies and automate their trading.
4. Real-time Data and Alerts: TradingView.com's real-time data and alert system enable users to stay up-to-date with market movements and react quickly to market changes.
5. Cost-Effective: TradingView.com offers a range of pricing plans, including a free version, making it an accessible platform for traders and analysts.
Conclusion
In this chapter, we have provided an overview of TradingView.com, its features, and its benefits. TradingView.com is a powerful platform that offers a range of tools and resources for traders, analysts, and investors. Whether you are a seasoned trader or just starting out, TradingView.com provides a comprehensive suite of tools to help you analyze and trade financial markets. In the next chapter, we will delve deeper into the charting and technical analysis capabilities of TradingView.com.Chapter 2: Creating an Account and Setting Up Your Profile
As a new user, creating an account and setting up your profile is the first step in exploring the world of [Platform/Service]. In this chapter, we will guide you through a step-by-step process to create an account and set up your profile, ensuring a seamless and enjoyable experience.Section 1: Creating an Account
To create an account, follow these steps:1. Visit the Sign-up Page: Go to the [Platform/Service] website and click on the "Sign Up" or "Create an Account" button. This will take you to the sign-up page.
2. Enter Your Email Address: Enter a valid email address to serve as your login credentials. Make sure to use a unique and memorable email address, as it will be used to reset your password if needed.
3. Choose a Username: Choose a unique and memorable username that will be used to identify you on the platform. This can be your real name, a nickname, or a combination of letters and numbers.
4. Create a Password: Create a strong and unique password for your account. A strong password should be at least 8 characters long and include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and special characters.
5. Confirm Your Password: Re-enter your password to confirm it. This ensures that you have entered the correct password.
6. Verify Your Account: Click on the "Create Account" button to create your account. You will receive an email verification link to verify your email address.
Section 2: Setting Up Your Profile
Once you have created your account, it's time to set up your profile. Follow these steps:1. Fill Out Your Profile Information: Fill out your profile information, including your name, birthday, and location. This information will be used to personalize your experience and connect with other users.
2. Add a Profile Picture: Upload a profile picture that represents you. This can be a photo of yourself, a logo, or an avatar.
3. Add a Bio: Write a brief bio that describes yourself, your interests, or your expertise. This will help others get to know you better and find common ground.
4. Customize Your Profile Settings: Customize your profile settings to control what information is visible to others and what notifications you receive.
5. Connect with Others: Start connecting with other users by sending friend requests or joining groups related to your interests.
Tips and Best Practices
· Use a strong and unique password for your account.· Keep your profile information up-to-date and accurate.
· Be cautious when sharing personal information or connecting with strangers.
· Use the platform's built-in features to block or report suspicious or inappropriate behavior.
· Respect other users' privacy and boundaries.
Conclusion
Congratulations! You have successfully created an account and set up your profile. You are now ready to explore the world of [Platform/Service] and start connecting with others. Remember to keep your account information secure, be respectful of others, and have fun exploring the platform. In the next chapter, we will dive deeper into the features and functionality of [Platform/Service].Chapter 3: Navigating the TradingView.com
Interface
As a trader or investor, it's essential to understand the TradingView.com interface to get the most out of this powerful platform. In this chapter, we'll take a comprehensive tour of the TradingView.com interface and its various components. By the end of this chapter, you'll be well-versed in navigating the platform and ready to start exploring its features.Section 1: The TradingView.com
Dashboard
The TradingView.com dashboard is the main hub of the platform, providing an overview of your account, market data, and other essential features. Let's break down the key components of the dashboard:1. Header Bar: The header bar at the top of the screen displays your username, account balance, and other account information.
2. Navigation Menu: The navigation menu allows you to access various sections of the platform, including your watchlists, charts, and settings.
3. Market Data: The market data section provides real-time quotes for various assets, including stocks, forex, and cryptocurrencies.
4. Alerts: The alerts section allows you to set custom alerts for specific market conditions, such as price movements or news events.
5. Watchlists: The watchlists section enables you to create and manage custom lists of symbols, making it easy to track your favorite assets.
Section 2: Charting and Analysis
TradingView.com is renowned for its powerful charting capabilities, allowing you to create custom charts with various indicators, studies, and drawing tools. Let's explore the key features of the charting interface:1. Chart Types: TradingView.com offers a range of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and Renko charts.
2. Indicators: The platform comes with a vast library of built-in indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and Bollinger Bands.
3. Drawing Tools: The drawing tools allow you to annotate your charts with lines, shapes, and text.
4. Studies: Studies are custom indicators created by the TradingView.com community, offering a wide range of trading strategies and techniques.
5. PineScript: PineScript is a programming language used to create custom indicators and strategies.
Section 3: Community and Social Trading
TradingView.com is more than just a trading platform – it's a community-driven platform where traders and investors share ideas, strategies, and insights. Let's explore the community features:1. PineCoders: PineCoders is a community of developers who create custom indicators and strategies using PineScript.
2. TradingView.com Blog: The TradingView.com blog features articles, analysis, and insights from experienced traders and investors.
3. TradingView.com Forum: The forum is a hub for discussion, debate, and learning, where traders and investors share their experiences and ask questions.
4. Watchlists: Watchlists allow you to share your favorite symbols with others, making it easy to collaborate and learn from each other.
5. PineScript Challenges: PineScript challenges are community-driven initiatives where developers create custom indicators and strategies, and the community votes on the best submissions.
Section 4: Customization and Settings
As you become more comfortable with the TradingView.com interface, you'll want to customize your experience to suit your needs. Let's explore the customization options:1. Theme: TradingView.com offers a range of themes, allowing you to personalize the look and feel of the platform.
2. Layout: The layout options enable you to customize the arrangement of the platform's components, such as the chart, indicators, and alerts.
3. Notifications: The notification settings allow you to customize the types of notifications you receive, including market data updates and alert notifications.
4. Security: The security settings enable you to set up two-factor authentication, password recovery, and other security measures to protect your account.
Conclusion
Navigating the TradingView.com interface is an essential step in unlocking the full potential of this powerful platform. By understanding the various components of the dashboard, charting and analysis tools, community features, and customization options, you'll be well-equipped to start exploring the platform and developing your trading skills. In the next chapter, we'll dive deeper into the world of PineScript, exploring the programming language and its applications in trading and investing.Chapter 4: Understanding Charts and Time Frames
In this chapter, we will delve into the world of charts and time frames, a fundamental concept in technical analysis. We will explore the different types of charts, time frames, and how to use them effectively on TradingView.com. By the end of this chapter, you will have a solid understanding of how to use charts and time frames to analyze and trade the markets.What are Charts and Time Frames?
Charts and time frames are the foundation of technical analysis. A chart is a graphical representation of a security's price action over a specific period. Time frames, on the other hand, refer to the duration of the data displayed on the chart. In other words, time frames determine how much data is displayed on the chart and how often the data is updated.Types of Charts
There are several types of charts, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. The most common types of charts are:1. Line Chart: A line chart connects the closing prices of a security over a specific period, creating a continuous line. This chart is useful for identifying trends and patterns.
2. Candlestick Chart: A candlestick chart displays the high, low, open, and close prices of a security over a specific period. Each candle represents a specific time period, and the color of the candle indicates whether the price closed higher or lower than the previous day's close.
3. Bar Chart: A bar chart is similar to a candlestick chart but does not display the open and close prices. Instead, it shows the high and low prices, as well as the open and close prices.
4. Renko Chart: A Renko chart is a type of chart that uses a unique algorithm to create a chart that is not based on time. Instead, it uses price movements to create a chart that is more focused on the price action.
Time Frames
Time frames determine the duration of the data displayed on the chart. Common time frames include:1. 1-minute: A 1-minute chart displays the price action over a 1-minute period.
2. 5-minute: A 5-minute chart displays the price action over a 5-minute period.
3. 15-minute A 15-minute chart displays the price action over a 15-minute period.
4. 30-minute: A 30-minute chart displays the price action over a 30-minute period.
5. 1-hour: A 1-hour chart displays the price action over a 1-hour period.
6. 4-hour: A 4-hour chart displays the price action over a 4-hour period.
7. Daily: A daily chart displays the price action over a 1-day period.
8. Weekly: A weekly chart displays the price action over a 1-week period.
9. Monthly: A monthly chart displays the price action over a 1-month period.
Using Charts and Time Frames on TradingView.com
TradingView.com is a popular platform for charting and analyzing financial markets. Here's how to use charts and time frames on TradingView.com:1. Creating a Chart: To create a chart on TradingView.com, go to the "Charts" tab and select the security you want to chart. Choose the chart type and time frame you want to use.
2. Customizing the Chart: Once you have created a chart, you can customize it by adding indicators, drawing tools, and other features.
3. Switching Time Frames: To switch time frames on TradingView.com, click on the "Time Frame" dropdown menu and select the desired time frame.
4. Zooming In and Out: To zoom in and out of a chart on TradingView.com, use the mouse wheel or the "Zoom" button.
Conclusion
In this chapter, we have covered the basics of charts and time frames, including the different types of charts and time frames. We have also explored how to use charts and time frames on TradingView.com. By mastering charts and time frames, you will be able to analyze and trade the markets more effectively. In the next chapter, we will explore the importance of indicators and how to use them to make informed trading decisions.Chapter 5: Technical Indicators and Studies
In this chapter, we will delve into the world of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com. As a trader, it is essential to understand the various indicators and studies that can be used to analyze and predict market movements. This chapter will provide an overview of the different types of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, their uses, and how to apply them in your trading strategy.What are Technical Indicators and Studies?
Technical indicators and studies are mathematical calculations based on historical price data that help traders identify trends, patterns, and potential trading opportunities. These indicators and studies can be used to analyze and predict market movements, making it easier to make informed trading decisions.Types of Technical Indicators and Studies
There are numerous types of technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, including:1. Trend Indicators: These indicators help identify trends and potential trading opportunities. Examples include the Moving Average, Relative Strength Index (RSI), and Bollinger Bands.
2. Momentum Indicators: These indicators measure the rate of change of an asset's price over a given period. Examples include the RSI, Stochastic Oscillator, and Momentum Indicator.
3. Volatility Indicators: These indicators measure the degree of price movement or volatility. Examples include the Average True Range (ATR) and Bollinger Bands.
4. Pattern Recognition Indicators: These indicators help identify specific chart patterns, such as head and shoulders or triangles. Examples include the Ichimoku Cloud and the Keltner Channel.
5. Statistical Indicators: These indicators use statistical methods to analyze market data. Examples include the Exponential Moving Average (EMA) and the Simple Moving Average (SMA).
Popular Technical Indicators and Studies on TradingView.com
Some of the most popular technical indicators and studies available on TradingView.com include:1. Moving Average: A simple moving average calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
2. Relative Strength Index (RSI): The RSI measures the magnitude of recent price changes to determine overbought or oversold conditions.
3. Bollinger Bands: Bollinger Bands consist of a moving average and two standard deviations plotted above and below the average.
4. Stochastic Oscillator: The stochastic oscillator compares the closing price of an asset to its price range over a given period.
5. Ichimoku Cloud: The Ichimoku Cloud is a comprehensive technical analysis system that inclues multiple indicators, including the Tenkan-sen, Kijun-sen, and Senkou Span.
6. Keltner Channel: The Keltner Channel is a volatility-based indicator that plots two lines above and below a moving average.
7. Average True Range (ATR): The ATR measures the average true range of an asset over a given period.
8. Exponential Moving Average (EMA): The EMA is a type of moving average that gives more weight to recent price data.
9. Simple Moving Average (SMA): The SMA is a type of moving average that calculates the average price of an asset over a given period.
10. Stochastic Momentum Index (SMI): The SMI is a momentum indicator that measures the rate of change of an aset's price over a given period.
How to Use Technical Indicators and Studies
To get the most out of technical indicators and studies, it is essential to understand how to use them effectively. Here are some tips:1. Combine Indicators: Combining multiple indicators can help confirm trading signals and reduce false positives.
2. Use Multiple Time Frames: Analyzing multiple time frames can help identify trends and patterns that may not be visible on a single time frame.
3. Adjust Parameters: Adjusting the parameters of an indicator can help tailor it to your specific trading strategy.
4. Use Indicators in Conjunction with Fundamental Analysis: Combining technical indicators with fundamental analysis can help provide a more comprehensive view of the market.
5. Backtest Indicators: Backtesting indicators can help evaluate their performance and identify potential biases.
Conclusion
Technical indicators and studies are powerful tools that can help traders analyze and predict market movements. By understanding the different types of indicators and studies available on TradingView.com, traders can develop a comprehensive trading strategy that incorporates multiple indicators and studies. Remember to combine indicators, use multiple time frames, adjust parameters, and backtest indicators to get the most out of technical indicators and studies.Chapter 6: Creating and Customizing Charts
As a trader, having the right tools and information is crucial for making informed decisions. Charts are an essential component of any trading strategy, providing valuable insights into market trends and patterns. In this chapter, we will explore the process of creating and customizing charts on TradingView.com, a popular platform for traders and analysts.Creating a Chart on TradingView.com
Creating a chart on TradingView.com is a straightforward process that can be completed in a few steps.1. Log in to Your TradingView.com Account: Start by logging in to your TradingView.com account. If you don't have an account, you can create one by signing up on the TradingView.com website.
2. Select the Symbol: Once logged in, navigate to the "Symbols" tab and select the symbol you want to chart. You can search for symbols by typing in the symbol name or by using the "Search" function.
3. Create a New Chart: Click on the "Create a New Chart" button to create a new chart. You can also create a new chart by clicking on the "New Chart" button in the top-right corner of the TradingView.com window.
4. Select the Chart Type: Choose the type of chart you want to create. TradingView.com offers a variety of chart types, including line charts, candlestick charts, and more.
5. Customize the Chart Settings: Customize the chart settings to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
Customizing Charts on TradingView.com
Customizing charts on TradingView.com is an essential step in creating a chart that meets your specific needs. Here are some tips for customizing your charts:1. Add Indicators: Add indicators to your chart to gain insights into market trends and patterns. TradingView.com offers a wide range of indicators, including moving averages, RSI, and more.
2. Add Drawings: Add drawings to your chart to highlight specific patterns or trends. You can add lines, shapes, and other drawings to your chart to create a visual representation of your analysis.
3. Add Alerts: Set up alerts on your chart to notify you of specific market events or price movements. You can set up alerts based on price movements, volume, and other market indicators.
4. Customize the Chart Grid: Customize the chart grid to suit your needs. You can adjust the grid lines, grid spacing, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
5. Save and Share Your Chart: Save and share your chart with others. You can save your chart as a template or share it with other traders and analysts.
Advanced Chart Customization
In addition to the basic customization options, TradingView.com offers advanced customization options that allow you to create complex charts and indicators. Here are some tips for advanced chart customization:1. Create Custom Indicators: Create custom indicators using the TradingView.com PineScript programming language. You can create custom indicators that meet your specific needs.
2. Use Custom Drawings: Use custom drawings to create complex patterns and shapes on your chart. You can create custom drawings using the TradingView.com drawing tools.
3. Customize the Chart Layout: Customize the chart layout to suit your needs. You can adjust the chart size, grid lines, and other settings to create a chart that meets your requirements.
4. Use Advanced Chart Settings: Use advanced chart settings to customize your chart further. You can adjust the chart settings to suit your specific needs.
Conclusion
Creating and customizing charts on TradingView.com is a powerful way to gain insights into market trends and patterns. By following the steps outlined in this chapter, you can create complex charts and indicators that meet your specific needs. Whether you're a seasoned trader or a beginner, TradingView.com offers a range of tools and features that can help you create charts that meet your specific needs.Chapter 7:
Introduction to Trading Strategies
As a trader, having a solid understanding of various trading strategies is crucial for making informed decisions and maximizing profits. In this chapter, we will explore popular trading strategies, their underlying principles, and how to implement them on TradingView.com. By the end of this chapter, you will have a comprehensive understanding of various trading strategies and how to apply them using TradingView.com's powerful platform.Introduction to Trading Strategies
Trading strategies are pre-defined rules or methods used to make trading decisions. These strategies are designed to help traders navigate the markets, identify profitable opportunities, and minimize losses. Trading strategies can be categorized into several types, including:· Trend following strategies: These strategies aim to identify and ride the trend, whether it's an uptrend or a downtrend.
· Range trading strategies: These strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range.
· Mean reversion strategies: These strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means.
· Statistical arbitrage strategies: These strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
Popular Trading Strategies
2.1 Trend Following StrategiesTrend following strategies are designed to identify and ride the trend. These strategies involve identifying the direction of the market and trading in that direction. Some popular trend following strategies include:
· Moving Average Crossover (MAC): This strategy involves identifying the crossover of two moving averages to determine the direction of the trend.
· Relative Strength Index (RSI): This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions using the RSI indicator.
· Bollinger Bands: This strategy involves identifying breakouts above or below the bands to determine the direction of the trend.
2.2 Range Trading Strategies
Range trading strategies focus on identifying and trading within a specific price range. These strategies involve identifying support and resistance levels and trading within the range. Some popular range trading strategies include:
· Support and Resistance Trading: This strategy involves identifying key support and resistance levels and trading within the range.
· Channel Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading within a specific price channel.
2.3 Mean Reversion Strategies
Mean reversion strategies rely on the idea that prices will revert to their historical means. These strategies involve identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction. Some popular mean reversion strategies include:
· Mean Reversion Trading: This strategy involves identifying overbought or oversold conditions and trading in the opposite direction.
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
2.4 Statistical Arbitrage Strategies
Statistical arbitrage strategies involve identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them. These strategies involve analyzing historical data and identifying statistical anomalies. Some popular statistical arbitrage strategies include:
· Statistical Arbitrage: This strategy involves identifying mispricings in the market and exploiting them.
· Event-Driven Trading: This strategy involves identifying and trading on specific events, such as earnings announcements or mergers and acquisitions.
3.
Implementing Trading Strategies on TradingView.com
TradingView.com is a powerful platform that allows traders to implement and backtest various trading strategies. Here are some steps to follow when implementing trading strategies on TradingView.com:1. Create a new chart: Open a new chart on TradingView.com and select the asset you want to trade.
2. Add indicators: Add the indicators you want to use for your trading strategy. For example, you may want to add a moving average crossover indicator.
3. Set parameters: Set the parameters for your indicators. For example, you may want to set the period for your moving average crossover indicator.
4. Backtest the strategy: Backtest your strategy by running a backtest on TradingView.com. This will allow you to evaluate the performance of your strategy.
5. Refine the strategy: Refine your strategy by adjusting the parameters and testing different scenarios.
Conclusion
In this chapter, we have explored popular trading strategies and how to implement them on TradingView.com. By understanding various trading strategies and how to apply them using TradingView.com, you can make informed trading decisions and maximize your profits. Remember to always backtest and refine your strategies to ensure optimal performance. In the next chapter, we will explore advanced trading strategies and how to use them to improve your trading performance.Chapter 8:
Backtesting and Evaluating Trading Ideas
As a trader, it's essential to test and refine your trading ideas before implementing them in live markets. Backtesting and evaluating your trading ideas can help you identify potential flaws, optimize your strategy, and increase your chances of success. In this chapter, we'll explore the process of backtesting and evaluating trading ideas using TradingView.com, a popular platform for charting and backtesting trading strategies.What is Backtesting?
Backtesting is the process of applying a trading strategy to historical market data to evaluate its performance. It allows you to test your trading idea on past data to see how it would have performed in real-time. By backtesting your strategy, you can:1. Identify potential flaws in your strategy
2. Optimize your strategy for better performance
3. Refine your strategy to improve its accuracy
4. Evaluate the strategy's risk-reward ratio
Why Backtest?
Backtesting is crucial for several reasons:1. Risk management: Backtesting helps you identify potential risks associated with your trading strategy.
2. Strategy optimization: Backtesting allows you to refine your strategy to improve its performance.
3. Performance evaluation: Backtesting enables you to evaluate the performance of your strategy and make data-driven decisions.
4. Confidence booster: Backtesting gives you confidence in your strategy, reducing the risk of emotional trading decisions.
How to Backtest on TradingView.com
TradingView.com offers a range of tools and features for backtesting trading ideas. Here's a step-by-step guide to get you started:1. Create a new chart: Open TradingView.com and create a new chart for the asset you want to backtest.
2. Select the data range: Choose the time period for which you want to backtest your strategy. You can select a specific date range or use the default settings.
3. Add the strategy: Click on the "Indicators" tab and add the strategy you want to backtest. You can use built-in indicators or create your own custom indicators.
4. Set the parameters: Configure the strategy's parameters, such as the number of bars to look back, the number of trades to take, and the stop-loss levels.
5. Run the backtest: Click the "Run" button to start the backtest. TradingView.com will apply your strategy to the selected data range and provide performance metrics.
6. Analyze the results: Review the backtest results, including the strategy's profit/loss, drawdown, and other performance metrics.
Evaluating Trading Ideas
Evaluating your trading idea is a crucial step in the backtesting process. Here are some key metrics to consider:1. Profit/Loss: Calculate the total profit or loss generated by your strategy.
2. Drawdown: Measure the maximum loss experienced by your strategy.
3. Sharpe Ratio: Calculate the Sharpe Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance.
4. Sortino Ratio: Use the Sortino Ratio to evaluate the strategy's risk-adjusted performance, focusing on the maximum drawdown.
5. Information Coefficient: Calculate the Information Coefficient to evaluate the strategy's ability to generate profits.
Best Practices for Backtesting
To get the most out of backtesting, follow these best practices:1. Use a robust data set: Ensure your data is accurate and free from errors.
2. Test multiple scenarios: Test your strategy on different time frames, assets, and market conditions.
3. Monitor performance metrics: Keep track of your strategy's performance metrics and adjust as needed.
4. Refine your strategy: Continuously refine your strategy to improve its performance.
5. Avoid overfitting: Be cautious of overfitting, where your strategy performs well on the training data but poorly on new data.
Conclusion
Backtesting and evaluating trading ideas is a crucial step in the trading process. By using TradingView.com and following best practices, you can refine your trading strategy, optimize its performance, and increase your chances of success. Remember to evaluate your strategy's performance using relevant metrics and refine it continuously to improve its performance. With practice and patience, you'll develop a robust trading strategy that can withstand the challenges of the markets.2024.06.01 05:17 Katib-At-Tajjid My story (reposted with updates)
Hello, and assalaamu alaikum all,
I am Damon Stengel. I am posting my story because it will have a significant impact and it will help many who are doubting or hidden ex-Ahmadis among both born and convert Ahmadis.
I am a former convert to Ahmadiyya and I was very passionate in Tabligh. I want to share with you all my story.
I was once a very fanatical and fundamentalist Ahmadi. I would call ex and doubting Ahmadis cowards and munafiqs for speaking out against Jammat. All that changed with the past years. This is the story of my secret ex-conversion. This is the story of how I reclaimed my true self once more:
After I joined the Jammat in my late teens, I was excited. I felt I finally found the truth I've been searching for all my life. I was getting, what I thought were frequent true dreams. I frequently read books so I can debate and refute opponents.
Gradually, and growing older, I slowly ran into a problem: There were some references that seemed to go against Mirza Sahib and it was causing me to doubt. I convinced myself that I can find answers for these allegations because it is true, some objections to Jammat are complete lies (not realizing at the time not all are lies).
I increased my reading of literature, but some of the doctrines of Jammat seemed to conflict with the doctrines of traditional Islam like the seal of Prophethood. Reading Aik Ghalati Ka Azala seemed to clear up my confusion but it began to turn into cognitive dissonance.
I nearly left Jammat in 2019 because I began to embrace my more skeptical side again, but it took a phone call by my mentor to stay with the simple words: "Did Huzoor ever lie once?"
with no Nida audio at the time, I had to say "No.", And then, I had a revival of blind faith, diving deeply into religious fundamentalism of the Ahmadi kind. I was ready to by way of Majazi (pun intended) to throw hands with anyone that spoke out against Jammat or those who are hidden ex Ahmadis. I fed lies to myself that I did find the truth, it was just me hanging out in the company of skeptics so I chose to hang out with fundies on Twitter.
Because I felt this was the truth. These was the lies I constantly told myself. I told myself I am the Prodigal Ahmadi convert and man, did I take Tabligh to the extreme just like Razi does. I can definitely see why some of you may have thought I was a Jammat plant sent after ex Ahmadis
I remember I made a really long article years ago saying converts already explored the world and therefore they're better than ex Ahmadis because they went into the world whereas converts were already in the world, but found the "truth".
How wrong I was! Because as I grew in more knowledge of Ahmadi literature, I also began reading a lot of secular and non-Ahmadi Islamic literature as well.
I consistently found the stuff I've read to not match up with the teachings of Jammat or that there were so many contradictions, I couldn't answer allegations. Part of it was because I didn't know Urdu, and my Arabic was sloppy.
So I began gradually learning Urdu and improving my Arabic. After becoming married, my Urdu improved a lot. a family member from my in laws gave me a hand in pronunciation of Urdu letters and words. I would say Ghora (horse) was the most difficult but I can just barely do it slightly better than a born Ahmadi raised here in American. I picked up on basic Urdu really quick. So it helped me with reading some literature.
I improved my Arabic as well. That's when I realized Jammat was purposely mistranslating some passages such as Haqiqatul Wahi on Majazi prophethood.
Once I asked Razi why we don't have a good translation on a Quranic verse and the Arabic says differently, and he indirectly called me arrogant and accused me of knowing Arabic better than Huzoor so I chose to keep quiet. I started questioning again later
When a Bhai came out to me as an ex Ahmadi, I ran to Razi. Razi told me to cut him off and I did. I continued in my religious fundamentalist phase and then I cut out all the ex Ahmadis in obedience to Jammat saying to not hang out with them.
And I would delete my social media and then come back with new account and make articles refuting allegations. Yet, deep down, that cognitive dissonance I mentioned earlier continued to increase. I studied logic and fallacies to try to help myself, and i slowly realized Ahmadi arguments are ridiculous and Razi is very manipulative in his Tabligh.
Then, Mohammad Abr Razack showed me a different side to Muslim Dawah and he seemed like a very decent man, even if I may not have agreed with him on everything. same with talking with Sohail Ahmed, Reason On Faith, his mannerisms definitely resembled that of an Ahmadi Muslim, socially.
I continue and continued. The homeopathy and other social media controversies rocked my faith as Kashif Bhai can attest. whenever Kashif Bhai would confront me on these things, I would avoid.
when I first started seeing Kashif Bhais posts on homeopathy, I chose to ignore it. but then I saw the backlash of the fundamentalist Ahmadis. I tried to reason with one in that they shouldn't be harsh with Kashif Bhai but I got rebuffed and accused of being a coward and so I chose to retreat and not participate.
wasn't really until a year later, I somewhat got a bit more vocal about my fundamentalism on homeopathy but even then I wasn't directly confrontational. only that me and Kashif Bhai butted heads a lot in DMs, and that's when he told me some stories of his treatment by some figures in Jammat. I chose to ignore at the time.
still, I got married and I had my kid. After another bout on social media, I took a year long break.
I left to focus on family but also because my identity crisis was at an all time high, and my own behaviors were causing problems in my marriage. There was also a point i thought of suicide because I had two conflicting realities and identities (Ahmadi-fused me vs. the real me) in my head. I eventually started seeing a therapist for unaddressed childhood trauma and that changed everything about my perspective on life. I learned new techniques to manage emotions and my relationships.
I returned to social media with newfound empathy for others and I intended to be the perfect Ahmadi. That's when I approached a couple ex Ahmadi brothers I used to talk to before they left and patched things up. I even patched things with Bashir Shah (even if I still don't always agree with his approach).
Little did I know, it would be the end of me being Ahmadi.
When I saw Craig Considine's post about pro Palestinian protesters and accusing them of BS rhetoric, I got mad and so did a buddy of mine from Texas. He published a blog against Craig and I posted it to social media. That's how Craig was able to get a hold of it.
He disassociated himself from Ahmadis and many tried to reason with him and others called him out. I fought with a buddy of mine who kept blindly defending Craig because "Huzoor loves him" (that Muslun guy I had an exchange with today lmao; i called him Batalvi Sahib haha for his religious fanaticism).
Slowly, I realized Huzoor may be misguided.
I spoke with my old ex Ahmadi friend more and more and I spoke with his cousin as well. Both of them I looked up to as role models in my early years of Ahmadiyyat (and I still see them as such) and was sad to hear both of them leaving but with my newfound empathy of seeing good in others from therapy, I knew they both are still great people.
What made me disown Qadiani Khilafat was after reading the Shahatul-Quran or testimony of the holy Quran by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. It presented a very different picture of Khilafat and he said it's eternal and will last until the day of Judgement. That contradicts Jammat doctrine of him declaring prophethood in 1901 and then , contradicts the supposed doctrine from the Wassiyat that Khilafat will be established after his demise.
I told my friend about it and he told me to look at the Lahori versions of Correction of an error and the will. I saw for myself the numerous references where Mirza sahib did not claim prophethood but only by way of metaphor. He was a saint claimant. Nothing more and that it was Khalifatul Masih II that invented the doctrine that his father was a prophet
I began questioning why we say "alayhi salaam" after the title of promised Messiah, as if he's on the same rank as previous prophets before Rasulullah (saw).
Knowing this as well as previous controversies regarding the 200 million Ahmadis thing in 2001, and then reading the Khilafah nabuwwah minhaj Hadith in depth (which Qadianis use to promote their propaganda), I knew their Khilafat was false.
Then, I finally had the courage to look up the transcript of Masroor's call with Nida Sahiba and I was disgusted. I've read the entire script of that call. Having studied psychology and psychiatry on and off for years, I remember there was a part of the transcript I've read in both English and Urdu where Huzoor told his niece that she should've screamed when one of the people she was accusing raped her.
She thoroughly debunked Huzoor and said that therapists say that everyone has a different trauma response and her trauma response was freezing. Which is true because adrenaline is our evolutionary survival instinct. It is either fight or flight. Many rape victims freeze for safety reasons lest they escalate the situation further. I felt that was very ignorant of Huzoor to say those messed up things to her, and I was happy I disowned the Caliphate because so many convert brothers went up to me to ask about it for years, and I gave unsatisfactory answers or made up excuses. Now I know the truth.
let me make it clear: Some have countered that Nida couldn't prove her case to the courts. however, I would refer them to articles that say we need to change the way courts view rape victims: https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx
"Morabito says more resources, public education and policies that encourage prosecutors to bring cases to trial are needed, although it may take time to change public opinion.
“Maybe if more of these cases were tried, we’d break down those myths and see more of what sexual assault cases really involve,” she says."
anyways,
I continued to believe in Mirza sahib but held the Lahori position, but I began to question his claim itself. I read about the fabrication of Daru-Qutni and I realized it's actually technically a dishonor to orthodox Islam to quote a fabrication that disrespects the scholars who proved fake Hadiths are not to be used.
my two ex Ahmadi friends continued to share with me their skepticisms in order to show me the falsehood of Mirza sahib. When one of them showed me proof that the red drops revelation happened in a bathroom, I without question, disowned Mirza sahib as well.
I felt relief. As if a heavy weight and burden was lifted off my shoulders after nearly 10 years. The whole reason I was Ahmadi for so long was due to my ego. I didn't want to admit I was duped. I didn't want to admit I converted out of youthful naivety.
when I first started meeting with the Ahmadis, my gut instinct when I originally hung out with the Ahmadis was to read all of Mirza Sahib's literature and then make a decision, but a Murabbi told me if I keep waiting, I'll go to hell. So I made the decision in haste and did bait. Never did I admit this in any of my stories
I've always had a skeptical side of me and I embrace it fully now. this is why my conversion to non-denominational Islam isn't really complete either because I have no intentions in trading one religious dogma for another. I have chosen to embrace my old agnostic atheism once more.
actually, these views of mine were always such for years. unconsciously, I was always an agnostic, but I just chose to not consciously acknowledge it. yet, I'm free at last, my story is very similar to many other ex Ahmadis and doubting/questioning Ahmadis in here.
I'm gonna tell you guys straight up, my soul left jammat a long time ago. I only just admitted it to myself a few weeks ago, and I embraced the true me.
I realized in a sense (even though it was my own choice and free will out of a false passion) that Jammat indirectly used me for their propaganda. I wanted to imitate Razi and be in the same league as him, and damn straight, I sure am in the same league as them from both the perspectives of Ahmadis and those who disagree with them.
Many ex and more open-minded Ahmadis (such as Kashif Bhai) called (indirectly) me ignorant of the facts, naive, head-in-sand, and a product of religious indoctrination. I realized how right they are. I fell for the same cult vibe just as the one I grew up in-Pentecostal Christianity.
Now, the very person that was heavy against ex-Ahmadis and questioning Ahmadis online for years and said he's better than them, has found the truth, is now himself, an ex-Ahmadi because he grew in emotional intelligence and empathy for others.
It's ironic. Both convert Ahmadis and ex Ahmadis have so much in common in regards to opposition. I, out of all people should've understood the most of why ex and doubting Ahmadis think the way they do. But now I truly understand.
Viewing myself as the "Savior and Prodigal Convert Ahmadi" for people who doubt and it was definitely taxing on my mental health. It was just pure ego. Nothing more.
I thought I could "save" other Ahmadis, but I couldn't even "save" myself.
Except I saved myself from religious indoctrination and possible insanity
You can lose friends and family n stuff, but if you lose yourself, that's the worst feeling ever. Ngl
These are my views summarized:
That's my view on this world again, and if anything, history has repeatedly shown religious dogma causes stagnation in communities. openness to other views and perspective and intermixing is key, and I just dislike how Jammat and the nizam say we need to get back to "the core teachings" or "don't worry about what others are doing. focus on yourself and your connection to Allah and Khilafat.", this completely ignores the reality of the problems in Jammat like the rape scandals, rampant and judgemental Desi culture of excessive gossip and defaming, stagnation in the education of its members (being the former Nizam Taleem of MKA Baltimore), most converts leaving after converting because they found no love in the social structure of Jammat or it's too dogmatic, no one is enthusiastic about Tabligh or Taleem, Jammat encourages calling people and "being their friend", but people see through the B.S. behind that. Jammat has grown stagnant and refuses to hold themselves accountable for fear of a ruined reputation despite the fact this philosophy ruins their reputation further. it sounds to me as if Jammat is like an insecure narcissistic man who never takes responsibility for his wrongs and always blames the other person.
Ameer Sahib always lectures the people of Jammat in the Jalsas of how sad he is about the bad tarbiyyat of Ahmadis or those not joining the Wassiyat scheme (and I speak as a former Moosi, so no one can lecture me here), but he only presents himself as someone judgemental and not someone that speaks with humility. it seems it's just another speech about low turnout. maybe instead of lecturing everyone, might be better to reform the institution from ground up? perhaps Musleh Maud's system no longer works in this era. or that it needs great reforms to better progress the community. there is too much of a social hierarchy in this institution and it's filled with those who have no real understanding of the struggles of Ahmadi youth.
don't get me started on the Noah's ark rhetoric and how Jammat presents it. Everytime I would ever read that book or listen to excerpts in speeches or zoom calls, I'd feel guilty and like a peace of trash. especially with Masroor Sahib saying a nuclear war is upon us soon. I feel this is a cult because more chanda is being demanded. more guilt tripping is being made to gaslight members into blindly following. I saw a child cry in their parent's arms upon hearing what Masroor Sahib said about "World War III is here." why would you expose a child to that??? that's terrible mental torture and I felt bad for them.
That's all I got for now.
Everything else has been explained here:
https://x.com/LAhmadi25/status/1796569889802768775?t=RAQ9GWfQObLXIsY0tSN_8w&s=19
Sincerely,
Damon Stengel, The Ex-Ahmadi Convert
submitted by Katib-At-Tajjid to islam_ahmadiyya [link] [comments]
I am Damon Stengel. I am posting my story because it will have a significant impact and it will help many who are doubting or hidden ex-Ahmadis among both born and convert Ahmadis.
I am a former convert to Ahmadiyya and I was very passionate in Tabligh. I want to share with you all my story.
I was once a very fanatical and fundamentalist Ahmadi. I would call ex and doubting Ahmadis cowards and munafiqs for speaking out against Jammat. All that changed with the past years. This is the story of my secret ex-conversion. This is the story of how I reclaimed my true self once more:
After I joined the Jammat in my late teens, I was excited. I felt I finally found the truth I've been searching for all my life. I was getting, what I thought were frequent true dreams. I frequently read books so I can debate and refute opponents.
Gradually, and growing older, I slowly ran into a problem: There were some references that seemed to go against Mirza Sahib and it was causing me to doubt. I convinced myself that I can find answers for these allegations because it is true, some objections to Jammat are complete lies (not realizing at the time not all are lies).
I increased my reading of literature, but some of the doctrines of Jammat seemed to conflict with the doctrines of traditional Islam like the seal of Prophethood. Reading Aik Ghalati Ka Azala seemed to clear up my confusion but it began to turn into cognitive dissonance.
I nearly left Jammat in 2019 because I began to embrace my more skeptical side again, but it took a phone call by my mentor to stay with the simple words: "Did Huzoor ever lie once?"
with no Nida audio at the time, I had to say "No.", And then, I had a revival of blind faith, diving deeply into religious fundamentalism of the Ahmadi kind. I was ready to by way of Majazi (pun intended) to throw hands with anyone that spoke out against Jammat or those who are hidden ex Ahmadis. I fed lies to myself that I did find the truth, it was just me hanging out in the company of skeptics so I chose to hang out with fundies on Twitter.
Because I felt this was the truth. These was the lies I constantly told myself. I told myself I am the Prodigal Ahmadi convert and man, did I take Tabligh to the extreme just like Razi does. I can definitely see why some of you may have thought I was a Jammat plant sent after ex Ahmadis
I remember I made a really long article years ago saying converts already explored the world and therefore they're better than ex Ahmadis because they went into the world whereas converts were already in the world, but found the "truth".
How wrong I was! Because as I grew in more knowledge of Ahmadi literature, I also began reading a lot of secular and non-Ahmadi Islamic literature as well.
I consistently found the stuff I've read to not match up with the teachings of Jammat or that there were so many contradictions, I couldn't answer allegations. Part of it was because I didn't know Urdu, and my Arabic was sloppy.
So I began gradually learning Urdu and improving my Arabic. After becoming married, my Urdu improved a lot. a family member from my in laws gave me a hand in pronunciation of Urdu letters and words. I would say Ghora (horse) was the most difficult but I can just barely do it slightly better than a born Ahmadi raised here in American. I picked up on basic Urdu really quick. So it helped me with reading some literature.
I improved my Arabic as well. That's when I realized Jammat was purposely mistranslating some passages such as Haqiqatul Wahi on Majazi prophethood.
Once I asked Razi why we don't have a good translation on a Quranic verse and the Arabic says differently, and he indirectly called me arrogant and accused me of knowing Arabic better than Huzoor so I chose to keep quiet. I started questioning again later
When a Bhai came out to me as an ex Ahmadi, I ran to Razi. Razi told me to cut him off and I did. I continued in my religious fundamentalist phase and then I cut out all the ex Ahmadis in obedience to Jammat saying to not hang out with them.
And I would delete my social media and then come back with new account and make articles refuting allegations. Yet, deep down, that cognitive dissonance I mentioned earlier continued to increase. I studied logic and fallacies to try to help myself, and i slowly realized Ahmadi arguments are ridiculous and Razi is very manipulative in his Tabligh.
Then, Mohammad Abr Razack showed me a different side to Muslim Dawah and he seemed like a very decent man, even if I may not have agreed with him on everything. same with talking with Sohail Ahmed, Reason On Faith, his mannerisms definitely resembled that of an Ahmadi Muslim, socially.
I continue and continued. The homeopathy and other social media controversies rocked my faith as Kashif Bhai can attest. whenever Kashif Bhai would confront me on these things, I would avoid.
when I first started seeing Kashif Bhais posts on homeopathy, I chose to ignore it. but then I saw the backlash of the fundamentalist Ahmadis. I tried to reason with one in that they shouldn't be harsh with Kashif Bhai but I got rebuffed and accused of being a coward and so I chose to retreat and not participate.
wasn't really until a year later, I somewhat got a bit more vocal about my fundamentalism on homeopathy but even then I wasn't directly confrontational. only that me and Kashif Bhai butted heads a lot in DMs, and that's when he told me some stories of his treatment by some figures in Jammat. I chose to ignore at the time.
still, I got married and I had my kid. After another bout on social media, I took a year long break.
I left to focus on family but also because my identity crisis was at an all time high, and my own behaviors were causing problems in my marriage. There was also a point i thought of suicide because I had two conflicting realities and identities (Ahmadi-fused me vs. the real me) in my head. I eventually started seeing a therapist for unaddressed childhood trauma and that changed everything about my perspective on life. I learned new techniques to manage emotions and my relationships.
I returned to social media with newfound empathy for others and I intended to be the perfect Ahmadi. That's when I approached a couple ex Ahmadi brothers I used to talk to before they left and patched things up. I even patched things with Bashir Shah (even if I still don't always agree with his approach).
Little did I know, it would be the end of me being Ahmadi.
When I saw Craig Considine's post about pro Palestinian protesters and accusing them of BS rhetoric, I got mad and so did a buddy of mine from Texas. He published a blog against Craig and I posted it to social media. That's how Craig was able to get a hold of it.
He disassociated himself from Ahmadis and many tried to reason with him and others called him out. I fought with a buddy of mine who kept blindly defending Craig because "Huzoor loves him" (that Muslun guy I had an exchange with today lmao; i called him Batalvi Sahib haha for his religious fanaticism).
Slowly, I realized Huzoor may be misguided.
I spoke with my old ex Ahmadi friend more and more and I spoke with his cousin as well. Both of them I looked up to as role models in my early years of Ahmadiyyat (and I still see them as such) and was sad to hear both of them leaving but with my newfound empathy of seeing good in others from therapy, I knew they both are still great people.
What made me disown Qadiani Khilafat was after reading the Shahatul-Quran or testimony of the holy Quran by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. It presented a very different picture of Khilafat and he said it's eternal and will last until the day of Judgement. That contradicts Jammat doctrine of him declaring prophethood in 1901 and then , contradicts the supposed doctrine from the Wassiyat that Khilafat will be established after his demise.
I told my friend about it and he told me to look at the Lahori versions of Correction of an error and the will. I saw for myself the numerous references where Mirza sahib did not claim prophethood but only by way of metaphor. He was a saint claimant. Nothing more and that it was Khalifatul Masih II that invented the doctrine that his father was a prophet
I began questioning why we say "alayhi salaam" after the title of promised Messiah, as if he's on the same rank as previous prophets before Rasulullah (saw).
Knowing this as well as previous controversies regarding the 200 million Ahmadis thing in 2001, and then reading the Khilafah nabuwwah minhaj Hadith in depth (which Qadianis use to promote their propaganda), I knew their Khilafat was false.
Then, I finally had the courage to look up the transcript of Masroor's call with Nida Sahiba and I was disgusted. I've read the entire script of that call. Having studied psychology and psychiatry on and off for years, I remember there was a part of the transcript I've read in both English and Urdu where Huzoor told his niece that she should've screamed when one of the people she was accusing raped her.
She thoroughly debunked Huzoor and said that therapists say that everyone has a different trauma response and her trauma response was freezing. Which is true because adrenaline is our evolutionary survival instinct. It is either fight or flight. Many rape victims freeze for safety reasons lest they escalate the situation further. I felt that was very ignorant of Huzoor to say those messed up things to her, and I was happy I disowned the Caliphate because so many convert brothers went up to me to ask about it for years, and I gave unsatisfactory answers or made up excuses. Now I know the truth.
let me make it clear: Some have countered that Nida couldn't prove her case to the courts. however, I would refer them to articles that say we need to change the way courts view rape victims: https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx
"Morabito says more resources, public education and policies that encourage prosecutors to bring cases to trial are needed, although it may take time to change public opinion.
“Maybe if more of these cases were tried, we’d break down those myths and see more of what sexual assault cases really involve,” she says."
anyways,
I continued to believe in Mirza sahib but held the Lahori position, but I began to question his claim itself. I read about the fabrication of Daru-Qutni and I realized it's actually technically a dishonor to orthodox Islam to quote a fabrication that disrespects the scholars who proved fake Hadiths are not to be used.
my two ex Ahmadi friends continued to share with me their skepticisms in order to show me the falsehood of Mirza sahib. When one of them showed me proof that the red drops revelation happened in a bathroom, I without question, disowned Mirza sahib as well.
I felt relief. As if a heavy weight and burden was lifted off my shoulders after nearly 10 years. The whole reason I was Ahmadi for so long was due to my ego. I didn't want to admit I was duped. I didn't want to admit I converted out of youthful naivety.
when I first started meeting with the Ahmadis, my gut instinct when I originally hung out with the Ahmadis was to read all of Mirza Sahib's literature and then make a decision, but a Murabbi told me if I keep waiting, I'll go to hell. So I made the decision in haste and did bait. Never did I admit this in any of my stories
I've always had a skeptical side of me and I embrace it fully now. this is why my conversion to non-denominational Islam isn't really complete either because I have no intentions in trading one religious dogma for another. I have chosen to embrace my old agnostic atheism once more.
actually, these views of mine were always such for years. unconsciously, I was always an agnostic, but I just chose to not consciously acknowledge it. yet, I'm free at last, my story is very similar to many other ex Ahmadis and doubting/questioning Ahmadis in here.
I'm gonna tell you guys straight up, my soul left jammat a long time ago. I only just admitted it to myself a few weeks ago, and I embraced the true me.
I realized in a sense (even though it was my own choice and free will out of a false passion) that Jammat indirectly used me for their propaganda. I wanted to imitate Razi and be in the same league as him, and damn straight, I sure am in the same league as them from both the perspectives of Ahmadis and those who disagree with them.
Many ex and more open-minded Ahmadis (such as Kashif Bhai) called (indirectly) me ignorant of the facts, naive, head-in-sand, and a product of religious indoctrination. I realized how right they are. I fell for the same cult vibe just as the one I grew up in-Pentecostal Christianity.
Now, the very person that was heavy against ex-Ahmadis and questioning Ahmadis online for years and said he's better than them, has found the truth, is now himself, an ex-Ahmadi because he grew in emotional intelligence and empathy for others.
It's ironic. Both convert Ahmadis and ex Ahmadis have so much in common in regards to opposition. I, out of all people should've understood the most of why ex and doubting Ahmadis think the way they do. But now I truly understand.
Viewing myself as the "Savior and Prodigal Convert Ahmadi" for people who doubt and it was definitely taxing on my mental health. It was just pure ego. Nothing more.
I thought I could "save" other Ahmadis, but I couldn't even "save" myself.
Except I saved myself from religious indoctrination and possible insanity
You can lose friends and family n stuff, but if you lose yourself, that's the worst feeling ever. Ngl
These are my views summarized:
- I am an agnostic atheist. I still choose to socially follow Islam
- no religion is absolute. Every religion is a philosophy, but it offers one a very limited lens to look into the reality and phenomena of things
- growing up in a dogmatic religion (Pentecostal Christianity) and experiencing yet, another, I am not a big fan of religious dogma as it caps our natural critical thinking abilities. It limits us to one view and that's not good for mental health.
- I've embraced my real and true self after burying him for a long time under the excuses of dogmatic religion
- I've been doubting and having cognitive dissonance for a long time. I've just chosen to acknowledge reality a few weeks ago, and then officially announced.
- I despise the Desi culture in Jammat and they're going to inevitably gossip about me now that I freed myself.
- I believe in scientific progress, and my lens on the world are viewed from a scientific perspective.
- While I admire Islam, I don't believe men are superior to women nor do I believe a 50 year old man should marry a 6 year old (or 9 by Jamamt standards). Sure, it was the customs of the ancient times, but we don't live in the ancient times anymore. We live in the modern era. Marrying a child is disgusting
- all humans are agnostic one way or another
- a god is possible but there is no convincing evidence for any personal God
- all religions preach the same evidence, same doctrines, same amount of prophets, same amount of gods
- Ahmadi Muslims claim to get true dreams but so do Christians and other Muslims, as if God was in a competition with himself
- I love philosophy and currently studying more of it
- we should treat our current world views like a scientific theory.
- Let me elaborate, it may not be an absolute truth but our evidence confidently lead to the conclusion that this thing explains the phenomena of these happenings
- I often meditate to center myself and I focus on the present and "is". This has helped me to reconnect with my true self
- I am a cultural Muslim as I still don't eat pork, drink alcohol, smoke weed, and I still occasionally recite Quran
That's my view on this world again, and if anything, history has repeatedly shown religious dogma causes stagnation in communities. openness to other views and perspective and intermixing is key, and I just dislike how Jammat and the nizam say we need to get back to "the core teachings" or "don't worry about what others are doing. focus on yourself and your connection to Allah and Khilafat.", this completely ignores the reality of the problems in Jammat like the rape scandals, rampant and judgemental Desi culture of excessive gossip and defaming, stagnation in the education of its members (being the former Nizam Taleem of MKA Baltimore), most converts leaving after converting because they found no love in the social structure of Jammat or it's too dogmatic, no one is enthusiastic about Tabligh or Taleem, Jammat encourages calling people and "being their friend", but people see through the B.S. behind that. Jammat has grown stagnant and refuses to hold themselves accountable for fear of a ruined reputation despite the fact this philosophy ruins their reputation further. it sounds to me as if Jammat is like an insecure narcissistic man who never takes responsibility for his wrongs and always blames the other person.
Ameer Sahib always lectures the people of Jammat in the Jalsas of how sad he is about the bad tarbiyyat of Ahmadis or those not joining the Wassiyat scheme (and I speak as a former Moosi, so no one can lecture me here), but he only presents himself as someone judgemental and not someone that speaks with humility. it seems it's just another speech about low turnout. maybe instead of lecturing everyone, might be better to reform the institution from ground up? perhaps Musleh Maud's system no longer works in this era. or that it needs great reforms to better progress the community. there is too much of a social hierarchy in this institution and it's filled with those who have no real understanding of the struggles of Ahmadi youth.
don't get me started on the Noah's ark rhetoric and how Jammat presents it. Everytime I would ever read that book or listen to excerpts in speeches or zoom calls, I'd feel guilty and like a peace of trash. especially with Masroor Sahib saying a nuclear war is upon us soon. I feel this is a cult because more chanda is being demanded. more guilt tripping is being made to gaslight members into blindly following. I saw a child cry in their parent's arms upon hearing what Masroor Sahib said about "World War III is here." why would you expose a child to that??? that's terrible mental torture and I felt bad for them.
That's all I got for now.
Everything else has been explained here:
https://x.com/LAhmadi25/status/1796569889802768775?t=RAQ9GWfQObLXIsY0tSN_8w&s=19
Sincerely,
Damon Stengel, The Ex-Ahmadi Convert
2024.06.01 00:14 Ur_Anemone The Local Girls Who Inspired the Hollywood Classic “Mean Girls”
 | …“Do you want to hear something that sounds like a lie but it’s really true?” [Jessica] Jackson told the room. “I’m the real Regina George.”… submitted by Ur_Anemone to afterAWDTSG [link] [comments] As proof, she pulled up an article on her phone, a 2002 New York Times Magazine cover story entitled “Girls Just Want to Be Mean.” At that time, Jackson was a 16-year-old junior at Northwest High School in Germantown. She loved Dawson’s Creek and Britney Spears, and when she spoke to the reporter for the story, she thought it was about some volunteer work she’d been doing with an organization that sought to build better relationships between girls. But in the course of their interviews, Jackson said some bonkers things about her social world, which wound up quite prominently in the Times… Jackson is bubbly and warm, a bleached-blonde suburban mother of two who loves cats and Disney princesses…Jackson is not a person who resembles the Plastics—but somehow she’s partly the model for them. To understand how, you have to rewind a bit, to about a decade before she decreed Mondays jeans-free… According to [Rosalind] Wiseman, the Mean Girls origin story begins in the 1990s…At the time, Wiseman was 22 or 23—not much older than her pupils. She listened as they talked about their lives, and it struck her how often they discussed other girls: how important and complicated their friendships were, and how painful and elaborate their cruelties. “I felt it was important to go to the foundations of why girls were doing the things they were doing in their relationships with each other,” she told me. “I wanted to give them the skills to self-reflect as they were operating in the world.” So Wiseman pivoted, asking schools if she could try out a different kind of workshop—not self-defense but relationship-building, the kind of thing we would now call “social-emotional learning.” Administrators said yes. Within a few years, Wiseman was a fixture at a broad mix of the region’s public, private, parochial, and alternative schools, teaching girls—well, not to be nice, exactly, but to disagree respectfully, to not abuse one another’s trust, to have friendships based in dignity, and to navigate the barbarism of adolescent life… At that time, Wiseman was working with what she called her “Girls Advisory Board.” It was akin to a focus group: about a dozen teens from all over the region, who would regularly give feedback on her curriculum. “That group of girls were the people who said, ‘Tuesdays we wear that, Wednesdays we do this,’ ” she explained. They had a huge influence on her work, and aspects of their lives appeared in the movie... If you remember the end of Mean Girls, then you know approximately what these workshops were like: The junior girls report to the school’s gymnasium, where Ms. Norbury, the put-upon math teacher played by Fey, stands before the bleachers and teaches them to be less cruel. The girls raise their hands if they’ve ever said something mean behind a friend’s back, then they handwrite apologies and read them aloud to their peers. For years, Wiseman led those exercises, almost exactly as they appear in the film… In January, at a cafe in upper Northwest, Margaret Talbot admitted that she’d never seen Mean Girls. “I don’t own the phrase ‘mean girls,’ I didn’t even invent it,” she said. “But through this article”—the Times Magazine story she wrote—“it did enter the culture, and I feel mixed about it.” It troubles her to hear women called “mean girls,” often to trivialize or diminish them. Still, she thinks the term caught on because it “gets at something real.” In the early 2000s, Talbot learned of a cutting-edge psychological theory: that adolescent girls are not, in fact, nicer than boys. Instead of socking each other on the playground, they bully through “relational aggression”—exclusionary cliques, caustic gossip, and arcane social cruelties. “I’d had some personal experience with the ingenuity of girls when they wanted to be dominant in a social setting,” Talbot said, so the theory resonated. It was “a useful antidote to a tendency to idealize girls, to imagine within feminism that women always had each other’s backs.” To learn about relational aggression, Talbot began following Wiseman around DC, shadowing her at the workshops she was running, then interviewing her while they drove between schools. “She was super-vivid in her descriptions,” Talbot recalled, “and almost anthropological in the way she would lay out these different types of characters and maneuvers.” From Wiseman, Talbot learned about “fruit-cup girls,” who feign helplessness for male attention, and “bankers,” who hoard secrets to deploy as social currency. Her article mentions the diabolical tactic of leaving a message on a girl’s family voicemail asking if she’s gotten her pregnancy test back, knowing that her parents might hear… Notably, Jackson’s relationship to Mean Girls is less fraught. “It wasn’t a public statement about me, it didn’t say my name,” she said. Hearing her teenage remarks in the mouths of various Plastics felt “so surreal,” but it “wasn’t obvious to anyone else the way it was obvious to me.” This freed her to love the movie: She thinks it’s hilarious and likes the positive ending. As for Wiseman, she consulted on Mean Girls, but she first watched it in full at the AFI screening. “My experience of that was this kind of like—horror is a strong word, but it was like seeing a picture of yourself that you’re not really sure you want everybody to see.” She found the characters “so real” and “scary” and their meanness true to life. But after the movie came out, she learned that girls were dressing up as the Plastics for Halloween. “And it’s like, damn, girls subvert everything I do, all the time. I try so hard, but the opponent is formidable.”… Days before, on the phone, I’d asked Jackson directly if she was a Queen Bee. “So, let’s do some layers here,” was her bristling reply. “When you’re confident and bold, are you a bitch? Are you Miranda Priestly? Do I only get to be either Taylor Swift from ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’ or Regina George?” For what it’s worth, Jackson has a “wild affinity” for Regina, for her fashion and brazen self-regard. Still, she said, the character is “not a representation of myself in high school, even though her quotes and my quotes are the same. Skeptical, I asked to see Jackson’s yearbooks, so she popped down to the basement and emerged with a stack. Opening one, she pointed to a picture of a jaguar mascot. “You see that? That’s me in there.” Before I could follow up, she’d moved on. “These were easily the most popular girls,” she said, her finger atop some identical blonde twins who apparently later became Ravens cheerleaders. Then she noticed another girl. “Anybody’s Regina George would be her, because everyone hated her but wanted her to like them.”… But if Jackson wasn’t mean, then why the rules? When I asked, she seemed bewildered. “It wasn’t a big-enough part of our lives or friendships that I remember, like, how we came up with them. Let’s say they were, at best, a phase.” She added that she and her friends “wanted to wear skirts on the same day. We made up all kinds of random songs and fake little clubby things. We weren’t the mean girls by any means.” But as I puzzled, two of Jackson’s comments rattled around my brain. “Teenage friendships are a lot like teenage love,” she’d said. “Her laundry ends up in your clothes, you’re in each other’s closets and cars and dinner tables and bedrooms.” That thought seemed related to this one, an offhand remark about the actor Sydney Sweeney: “I just want to be her best friend really hard. We would braid each other’s hair and I would tell her all my secrets. I want us to smell the same. I want our periods to sync up.” To Jackson, friendship seemed to mean sameness and melding—mingled laundry, matched perfume. So I asked if she thought the rules were about formalizing intimacy. “Wow, what a poignant point,” she replied. “Like, you killed it.” “I’m also going to throw this out there,” she added. “There is a Disney movie called Wish Upon a Star starring Katherine Heigl, from the ’90s. I loved that movie. I watched it over and over again.” The movie features a Plastics-like popular clique, “and I remember those gals having specific rules about, like, shaving your legs every day, and this or that. I never forgot that.” Then she brought up the Pink Ladies from Grease. (“What made them friends? They had the jackets, it was a thing.”) “So maybe it has something to do with that,” she mused. Of course, I thought—it’s classic high school, emulating movies to make life feel cinematic. But Jackson had slightly misremembered the plots. She described those two cliques as essentially benevolent, when both are a little mean. In Wish Upon a Star, the happy ending involves Heigl’s friends abandoning their rules, and in Grease, the Pink Ladies mock Sandy at a party—Sandy, who never gets to wear the pink jacket and belong. The misreading, though, is telling; it’s why the women of GAB are vexed about Mean Girls, that even though the ending is harmonious, it’s possible no one remembers it right. |
2024.05.31 06:22 xXOutlierXx [F4A] Life Bites [College Setting] [Human Listener] [Supernatural] [Classroom] [Lecture]
Hello all. The youtube channel, Kiyoko&Kanade are currently hosting a 3 part ASMR competition, with one of the divisions being for script writers (deadline June 21 [see their youtube channel community tab for more details]).
Because of this, I plan to write a lot more. And as a consequence of that, I plan to share my script entries here, because why not? I hope you enjoy it!
Side note - this script is okay for monetization.
Synopsis It's your first day at a magical university, and before you can get started attending classes and making friends, you have to take a special course in "Vampire History and Ethics." That's right, your a "vampire," the only human one in your class-- but what that word (vampire) means, and what you actually are, are two entirely different things. That is why this class exists, it's meant to teach you the truth about vampires, and make you aware of all the resources the university has prepared for you.
[Sound of general chatter]
[Sound of heeled footsteps as chatter continues]
Instructor: (Clap of hands) Attention, please. May I have your attention?
[General chatter quiets down] [Brief Pause]
Professor E: Excellent. It would seem that I am rather fortunate this year, to receive a group of well mannered students such as yourselves. I half expected you to try talking over me just now. Shame on me for my school-fostered pessimism (said cheerfully). Now then, onto introductions... My name, is Elaina Andrei Cojocaru, and as you may have guessed, I have the unique privelage of being your "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics" Professor, this year. It is a pleasure to meet you all.
[Applause]
Professor E: Oh goodness, all of you really are well mannered. Please stop, I know I gave a little half bow just now, but that's no cause for such a warm reception. Oh, curse my formalities, and these cherry cheeks.
[Soft laughter.]
Professor E: (Clearing her throat) Right then, as I've said, I'll be one of your primary Professors for the entirety of this year. And I'll be checking in with you all, regularly, for any additional years you choose to spend at Amortis University. Now, can anyone tell me why that is...?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: Yes; you there, in the back!
[Brief pause]
Professor E: (Sighing) No, young man, it is not because you're all "freaks." And for the record, please know that I am no different from any of you. Why, I still remember the days I spent, sitting where you are now; listening to my own Vampire instructor as he gave this exact same orientation. But I'll save that story for another time. So please, anyone? Can anyone tell me why you're all here?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: That's right, miss. The reason why you're all here, is because you have all been afflicted with the genetic disease most know today as "Vampirism." And as such, you all require additonal tutelage before you're allowed to go out and socialize with your fellow classmates.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, dear, that is why none of you were permitted to attend the official orientation in the Campus Square. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were denied that. I know how frustrating it can be, to be told that you're no different from anyone else, only to be treated like a leper at every opportunity. That used to drive me up the wall. But-- that's why I studied to become a teacher, and why I volunteered to teach this class, it's because I wanted to be there for those who would experience the same things that I did. I wanted to be there for them, in the ways I wished someone was there for me. And speaking of...
[A few heeled footsteps sound] [Sound of a drawer being pulled out] [Sound of jingling keys]
Professor E: I knew that none of us would be attending the formal get together in the Campus Square. So I took the liberty of... procuring one of the Headmaster's vehicles, along with one of the company credit cards.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Why did I do that? Well, so we could throw our own party, of course! There's a demi-human diner only a few blocks away, and the sweets they serve are out of this world! It's normally quiet later in the evening, especially on weekdays, so nothing is stopping us from showing up in full force; and downing enough deserts to put us all in a sugary coma!
[Hoots and hollers]
Proffessor E: Shush, evryone! Shush! Please keep it down. You're going to get us caught-- and me fired! (Said with glee)
[Quiet giggling]
Professor E: Alrighty then, since it seems like we're all in agreement for later tonight, and since the spirits of those in the room have been largely lifted, I think it's about time we delve into our first lesson. Lights, please!
[Light switch being flipped] [Heeled footsteps] [Projector being turned on and running]
Professor E: (Clearing throat) To begin our lesson, I would like to take a closer look at the official name of this class. And that is...?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Correct, Mr. Brutus; "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics." Now, what do you all think these words mean...? Anyone...? Besides Mr. Brutus.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Miss Nadia, this class is meant to teach you the history of Vampires; and how we, their offpsring, are to conduct ourselves in a civilized society. So to start our trek into the past, why don't we begin with the world's very first recorded "Vampire." Lord Dracula himself!
[Clicker clicking] [Concerned whispers]
Professor E: Oh my, all of you seem so utterly bewildered. What ever is the matter? (Said sarcastically)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Mr. Ryuji, the picture on the screen isn't that of a distinguished, elderly man, but that of a petite young woman; whose beauty I would liken to a porcelan doll's. What of it? (Sarcastic and sassy)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: (Chuckling) As fate would have it, Mr. Ryuji, this is Count Dracula; or rather, Countess. Allow me to introduce you all to our true progenitor. The singular human being from which all Vampire kind is derived... Lady Valentina Matei Parvu... the first being in recorded history to have ever suffered from "The Curse of Parvu," a.k.a. "The Vampar Curse," a.k.a. "Vampirism."
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: I see that we're all more than a little smitten with our Lady. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Other than the fact that our Countess was very pretty, Miss Selica (small giggle)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, That is a very good question, Mr. Tempus! How did the world confuse the image of this dainty little thing, with that of the imposing, amorous, and chiseled figure that is Count Dracula-- an image which the world of fiction deeply reveres? Well... the answer to that, lies with the failings of recorded history. As stories are chronicled and passed down, first hand accounts often yield to modern superstitions and hearsay, and this in turn-- makes recountings of historic events about as credible as modern tabloids. Very few ancient historians are actually worth their renown, and even then, these same historians largely concerned themselves with events that happened locally; meaning the stories of the rest of the world quietly passed them by, more often than not. Luckily for us, Lady Parvu was a countess of a noble house, so her story and her struggles managed to find their way to us; by way of her family albums and her own personal diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As far as her family albums are concerned... here we can see Lady Valentina Parvu being held by her mother, Lady Ileana Parvu, after just being born in a mountainside manor, on the eve of May 26, 1897. Lord Caius Parvu, Valentina's father-- whom we can see on the right, was the head of the Parvu clan; making Valentina, his first and only child, his sole successor.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The Parvu's were an ancient magus family, and as one of the biggest magical clans known to history, Lady Valentina should have inherited a life of wealth, decadence, and leisure.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Sadly, as we can see in this slide here, Lady Valentina was born with a sickly and frail body, leaving her bedridden most of the time; and hobbling around on a cane every other waking moment. Lady Ileana and Lord Caius chocked all of this up to general misfortune at first. They just saw it as "one of those things" that was outside of their control, and that Valentina would just have to learn to live with. However, all of this changed when Valentina turned 18. And her condition took an unexpected turn for the worse.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The man in the cloak that we see standing over Valentina here, is the Arch Mage: Augustus Von Draconis; he was a sage with wisdom beyond his many years, and he was a personal friend of Lord Caius. So when Valentina collapsed from a fever during her birthday dinner, Augustus was summoned to help her. After launching a series of investigative spells, Augustus learned what we all recognize today as common knowledge; that those who suffer from "Vampirism" have bodies that are incapable of properly harnessing mana. And this in turn, can lead to a myriad of chronic physical ailments, as mana is integral to proper bodily function.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In Valentina's case, "Vampirism" left her with an incredibly frail body, a ghostly pale complection, and horrendus eyesight. Fun fact-- Most of the tropes we have today regarding "Vampire weaknesses," are actually derived from misconceptions stemming from Lady Valentina's behavior. For example: Most people think that Vampires will die if exposed to sunlight, and thus, they have to avoid it. But as I've just said, "Vampirism" gave Valentina a ghostly pale complection-- along with terrible vision, meaning prolonged exposure to the sun would make her eyes hurt; and her skin, burn.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Hm? Oh, yes; that is why all of us are either wearing glasses, or very unique contacts. The bodily ailments that come with "Vamprisim" are usually passed down from parent to child; so chances are... if Lady Valentina had it, so will all of us. And as an added note, after reading Lady Valentina's diary in depth, I discovered that she had a very fierce loathing for her appearance; a kind of pre-historic body dysmorphia, if you will. She disliked her looks so much, she actively removed all mirrors from her room. So... if you ever wondered where the concept "Vampires don't show up in mirrors" came from... or if you ever wondered why you find it hard to appreciate your own reflection-- well, Lady Valentina is probably responsible for that, too. But we should finish going through all of Valentina's family albums before we get to her diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Getting back to Valentina's birthday disaster, Augustus tried all types of healing magic and anti-curse magic to help Valentina, as he believed an outside source was impairing her ability to absorb magic. He only realized that her affliction was genetic, and not heretic, after giving her an elixir that was meant to replenish one's mana. Funnily enough, Lady Valentina nearly ripped Augusts' arm off, in an attempt to snatch the bottle out of his hand, after taking a mere sip of its contents. Her sudden burst of strength, and ravenous consumption of the magical brew, prompted more and more elixir to be brought in for her. And after the span of an hour, Lady Valentina had consumed more than a gallons worth of potion, before finally passing out due to exhaustion.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: This might have caused some of us to panic; but Augustus, ever the sage and alchemist, was able to think through the chaos, enough to see that Valentina was finally breathing normally and that her fever had broken. The picture we see here is Augustus comforting Valentina's startled parents, as several maids settle Valentina back into bed.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Armed with this new knowledge of Valentina's condition, Augustus worked with her, day and night, in order to help her manage her symptoms-- while he secretly looked for a cure. Unfortunately, none of the magic in the world, nor a philosopher's stone, could reverse what fate had done to Valentina. But even so, Valentina did not lose heart, and neither did her parents. And as we see here, not only were Valentina's parents ready to do anything and everything to help her, they were even the very first people that Valentina fed on. Which is why we see Valentina noming on her father's arm in this picture, and her mother's neck in this picture. Now, for those of you wondering why Valentina would even resort to feeding...
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As we can see in this diagram here, a Mana Elixir actually contains little to no mana in and of itself. It's primary purpose is to help the consumer's body absorb external mana, with the little mana it does contain only serving as a means to "kickstart" that process. In contrast, when a Vampire feeds off of another living being, the fluid that enters into their mouths is 100% pure liquid mana, or Aetheron, for those Alchemy Majors amongst us. This is why Valentina consumed large volumes of the Mana Elixir on her 18th birthday, and it's why Vampires feed off of other beings to this day. It is simply more efficient. And speaking of feeding, I think it's time we get on to the Protozeal Ethics portion of our discussion today.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Society has many different opinions regarding the act of Feeding, but thankfully for us, the information contained on these slides is irrefutable fact. So if you didn't already know... Vampires don't actually drink blood, as we so often see in books or television. What actually happens is an extremely complicated, bio-magical transmutation process, that Alchemists the world over are still trying to replicate. But to put it as simply as I can, the abnormally elongated canines of a Vampire, or their quote/unqote "fangs," if your a normie-- act as polaric constructs that draw mana to them. When a "Vampire" bites down on a person, their fangs draw magic particles out of their prey's body, and then force those particles to condensate inside the Vampires mouth; creating a liquid the Vampire can then drink. And because all liquids containing mana have a propensity to turn red; it is easy to see how, from a distance, people may be lead to believe that "Vampires" consume blood. Which is a totally disgusting notion, by the way.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In feeding off of living beings, Vampires are given a kind of repreive from their bodily ailments. I'm sure all of you have experienced this yourselves, at one time or another, so I won't go into too much detail; but for the sake of the curriculum, allow me to just say that feeding makes a Vampire stronger, faster, more resilient, and just healthier overall. Though we still suffer from things like poor eyesight and/or easily damaged skin, no matter how much we feed. Remeber, "Vampirism" is a chronic, genetic condition; not an illness that can be cured.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: And speaking of "Incurables" (sigh) I now have the distinct displeasure of telling you all how others might pervert the feeding process.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As most of you can imagine, it would be incredibly problematic if a Vampire's prey ran away from them before a feeding, or if they fought back as a Vampire was consuming their mana... And as if in response to this dilemma, the bodies of Vampires naturally adapted themselves, in order to provide a solution... Put succintly, a Vampire's bite is known to generate intense waves of Euphoria, and other such emotions, in the person being bitten. Leaving little motivation for anyone to resist having their mana taken.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: On the surface, this seems like a good thing. The Vampire gets to feed, and provide essential nutrients to their ailing body; while their prey gets to feel good whilst donating some of their excess mana. Everyone wins. Or at least, that's what you would expect... (Deep sigh)... But unfortunately, there are many individuals out there who would take advantage of the effects of a Vampire bite. Using it to block out the pain of their lives, or introduce a new kind of stimulus to it. This is part of the reason why Vampires aren't allowed to attend the formal Freshman Orientation. It isn't only because we all need to learn when and where to feed, but rather, it's because we need to learn that others may entice us to feed of off them, in accordance with their own selfish desires... Please, don't let anyone make a tool out of you. Especially those who claim to be your friends. I know it might be hard to hear that, and even harder to follow through on, so please know that my door is always open; If you ever need to talk. The scheduled office hours on my door be damned. If you need me, I'll be there. I Promise.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: (Sigh of relief) And, that should about do it for our first lecture. Thank you all so much for your patience and attention. I'd like to open the floor now for any questions that you may have.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes; you, near the window.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, an astute question. For those of you who didn't hear, Miss Seren asked why demi-humans of all kinds can end up as Vampires. If you take a look around the room yourselves, you can see that we actually have demis of all kinds in attendance here today. Mr Brutus is a Minotaur. Miss Nadia is a Scylla. Mr. Ryuji is a Dragonborn, Mr. Tempus is a Shifter. Miss Selica is a Harpy. And Miss Seren herself is a Gorgon. We all come from different magical lineages, and this in turn, might cause an uninformed person to think that Vampirism is transferrable. But as we have already discussed, Vampirism stems from genetics, so any species that has a history of reproducing with humans, has a chance of siring Vampire children. Hmm... now that I've mentioned humans, I have to ask, do we... have any in this class? Cause I don't think I we do.
[Chairs shuffling]
Professor E: Oh, I see a hand! There you are, you sneaky little thing, hiding behind Mr. Brutus like that. No, no-- don't be shy. I know that, as an Arachnid, my form may be a bit imposing; but I promise, the yellow stripes on my body are meant to scare away predators, not you-- precious. In fact, since you're the only human here, why don't you come up to the front and introduce yourself?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Oh, there's no need to be nervous. I'll have everyone introduce themselves at some point today, but since you're a human, and can weave through the various desks with ease, I think it makes sense to have you come to the front to make your introduction. That way, everyone can see you clearly, without having to try and peer behind Mr. Brutus.
[soft chuckling]
Professor E: You don't think you're that insteresting? Nonsense! As the only human vampire here, you must have a strong connection to Lady Valentina's bloodline. Why, I would wager that you have direct ties to one or more of the ancient magus families, making you arcanic nobility.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: You're not sure? Well, how about this; you come up to the front and introduce yourself, and I promise to figure out the rest. Deal?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, sweet thing; this is me volen-telling you to get up here, in the nicest way I know how (cheerful giggle).
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's the spirit! Let's get a big round of applause for our brave new freshman!
[Round of applause]
Professor E: (Whispering in Listener's ear) Sorry not sorry for the round of applause. When I saw how red you were getting up, I couldn't help myself, I had to tease you; even if only a little. Forgive me later... (Audibly, for the class) Now then, sweetpea, why don't you tell us what your name is, and what noble house of mages you belong to?
[END]
submitted by xXOutlierXx to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
Because of this, I plan to write a lot more. And as a consequence of that, I plan to share my script entries here, because why not? I hope you enjoy it!
Side note - this script is okay for monetization.
Synopsis It's your first day at a magical university, and before you can get started attending classes and making friends, you have to take a special course in "Vampire History and Ethics." That's right, your a "vampire," the only human one in your class-- but what that word (vampire) means, and what you actually are, are two entirely different things. That is why this class exists, it's meant to teach you the truth about vampires, and make you aware of all the resources the university has prepared for you.
[Sound of general chatter]
[Sound of heeled footsteps as chatter continues]
Instructor: (Clap of hands) Attention, please. May I have your attention?
[General chatter quiets down] [Brief Pause]
Professor E: Excellent. It would seem that I am rather fortunate this year, to receive a group of well mannered students such as yourselves. I half expected you to try talking over me just now. Shame on me for my school-fostered pessimism (said cheerfully). Now then, onto introductions... My name, is Elaina Andrei Cojocaru, and as you may have guessed, I have the unique privelage of being your "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics" Professor, this year. It is a pleasure to meet you all.
[Applause]
Professor E: Oh goodness, all of you really are well mannered. Please stop, I know I gave a little half bow just now, but that's no cause for such a warm reception. Oh, curse my formalities, and these cherry cheeks.
[Soft laughter.]
Professor E: (Clearing her throat) Right then, as I've said, I'll be one of your primary Professors for the entirety of this year. And I'll be checking in with you all, regularly, for any additional years you choose to spend at Amortis University. Now, can anyone tell me why that is...?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: Yes; you there, in the back!
[Brief pause]
Professor E: (Sighing) No, young man, it is not because you're all "freaks." And for the record, please know that I am no different from any of you. Why, I still remember the days I spent, sitting where you are now; listening to my own Vampire instructor as he gave this exact same orientation. But I'll save that story for another time. So please, anyone? Can anyone tell me why you're all here?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: That's right, miss. The reason why you're all here, is because you have all been afflicted with the genetic disease most know today as "Vampirism." And as such, you all require additonal tutelage before you're allowed to go out and socialize with your fellow classmates.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, dear, that is why none of you were permitted to attend the official orientation in the Campus Square. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were denied that. I know how frustrating it can be, to be told that you're no different from anyone else, only to be treated like a leper at every opportunity. That used to drive me up the wall. But-- that's why I studied to become a teacher, and why I volunteered to teach this class, it's because I wanted to be there for those who would experience the same things that I did. I wanted to be there for them, in the ways I wished someone was there for me. And speaking of...
[A few heeled footsteps sound] [Sound of a drawer being pulled out] [Sound of jingling keys]
Professor E: I knew that none of us would be attending the formal get together in the Campus Square. So I took the liberty of... procuring one of the Headmaster's vehicles, along with one of the company credit cards.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Why did I do that? Well, so we could throw our own party, of course! There's a demi-human diner only a few blocks away, and the sweets they serve are out of this world! It's normally quiet later in the evening, especially on weekdays, so nothing is stopping us from showing up in full force; and downing enough deserts to put us all in a sugary coma!
[Hoots and hollers]
Proffessor E: Shush, evryone! Shush! Please keep it down. You're going to get us caught-- and me fired! (Said with glee)
[Quiet giggling]
Professor E: Alrighty then, since it seems like we're all in agreement for later tonight, and since the spirits of those in the room have been largely lifted, I think it's about time we delve into our first lesson. Lights, please!
[Light switch being flipped] [Heeled footsteps] [Projector being turned on and running]
Professor E: (Clearing throat) To begin our lesson, I would like to take a closer look at the official name of this class. And that is...?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Correct, Mr. Brutus; "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics." Now, what do you all think these words mean...? Anyone...? Besides Mr. Brutus.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Miss Nadia, this class is meant to teach you the history of Vampires; and how we, their offpsring, are to conduct ourselves in a civilized society. So to start our trek into the past, why don't we begin with the world's very first recorded "Vampire." Lord Dracula himself!
[Clicker clicking] [Concerned whispers]
Professor E: Oh my, all of you seem so utterly bewildered. What ever is the matter? (Said sarcastically)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Mr. Ryuji, the picture on the screen isn't that of a distinguished, elderly man, but that of a petite young woman; whose beauty I would liken to a porcelan doll's. What of it? (Sarcastic and sassy)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: (Chuckling) As fate would have it, Mr. Ryuji, this is Count Dracula; or rather, Countess. Allow me to introduce you all to our true progenitor. The singular human being from which all Vampire kind is derived... Lady Valentina Matei Parvu... the first being in recorded history to have ever suffered from "The Curse of Parvu," a.k.a. "The Vampar Curse," a.k.a. "Vampirism."
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: I see that we're all more than a little smitten with our Lady. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Other than the fact that our Countess was very pretty, Miss Selica (small giggle)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, That is a very good question, Mr. Tempus! How did the world confuse the image of this dainty little thing, with that of the imposing, amorous, and chiseled figure that is Count Dracula-- an image which the world of fiction deeply reveres? Well... the answer to that, lies with the failings of recorded history. As stories are chronicled and passed down, first hand accounts often yield to modern superstitions and hearsay, and this in turn-- makes recountings of historic events about as credible as modern tabloids. Very few ancient historians are actually worth their renown, and even then, these same historians largely concerned themselves with events that happened locally; meaning the stories of the rest of the world quietly passed them by, more often than not. Luckily for us, Lady Parvu was a countess of a noble house, so her story and her struggles managed to find their way to us; by way of her family albums and her own personal diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As far as her family albums are concerned... here we can see Lady Valentina Parvu being held by her mother, Lady Ileana Parvu, after just being born in a mountainside manor, on the eve of May 26, 1897. Lord Caius Parvu, Valentina's father-- whom we can see on the right, was the head of the Parvu clan; making Valentina, his first and only child, his sole successor.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The Parvu's were an ancient magus family, and as one of the biggest magical clans known to history, Lady Valentina should have inherited a life of wealth, decadence, and leisure.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Sadly, as we can see in this slide here, Lady Valentina was born with a sickly and frail body, leaving her bedridden most of the time; and hobbling around on a cane every other waking moment. Lady Ileana and Lord Caius chocked all of this up to general misfortune at first. They just saw it as "one of those things" that was outside of their control, and that Valentina would just have to learn to live with. However, all of this changed when Valentina turned 18. And her condition took an unexpected turn for the worse.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The man in the cloak that we see standing over Valentina here, is the Arch Mage: Augustus Von Draconis; he was a sage with wisdom beyond his many years, and he was a personal friend of Lord Caius. So when Valentina collapsed from a fever during her birthday dinner, Augustus was summoned to help her. After launching a series of investigative spells, Augustus learned what we all recognize today as common knowledge; that those who suffer from "Vampirism" have bodies that are incapable of properly harnessing mana. And this in turn, can lead to a myriad of chronic physical ailments, as mana is integral to proper bodily function.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In Valentina's case, "Vampirism" left her with an incredibly frail body, a ghostly pale complection, and horrendus eyesight. Fun fact-- Most of the tropes we have today regarding "Vampire weaknesses," are actually derived from misconceptions stemming from Lady Valentina's behavior. For example: Most people think that Vampires will die if exposed to sunlight, and thus, they have to avoid it. But as I've just said, "Vampirism" gave Valentina a ghostly pale complection-- along with terrible vision, meaning prolonged exposure to the sun would make her eyes hurt; and her skin, burn.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Hm? Oh, yes; that is why all of us are either wearing glasses, or very unique contacts. The bodily ailments that come with "Vamprisim" are usually passed down from parent to child; so chances are... if Lady Valentina had it, so will all of us. And as an added note, after reading Lady Valentina's diary in depth, I discovered that she had a very fierce loathing for her appearance; a kind of pre-historic body dysmorphia, if you will. She disliked her looks so much, she actively removed all mirrors from her room. So... if you ever wondered where the concept "Vampires don't show up in mirrors" came from... or if you ever wondered why you find it hard to appreciate your own reflection-- well, Lady Valentina is probably responsible for that, too. But we should finish going through all of Valentina's family albums before we get to her diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Getting back to Valentina's birthday disaster, Augustus tried all types of healing magic and anti-curse magic to help Valentina, as he believed an outside source was impairing her ability to absorb magic. He only realized that her affliction was genetic, and not heretic, after giving her an elixir that was meant to replenish one's mana. Funnily enough, Lady Valentina nearly ripped Augusts' arm off, in an attempt to snatch the bottle out of his hand, after taking a mere sip of its contents. Her sudden burst of strength, and ravenous consumption of the magical brew, prompted more and more elixir to be brought in for her. And after the span of an hour, Lady Valentina had consumed more than a gallons worth of potion, before finally passing out due to exhaustion.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: This might have caused some of us to panic; but Augustus, ever the sage and alchemist, was able to think through the chaos, enough to see that Valentina was finally breathing normally and that her fever had broken. The picture we see here is Augustus comforting Valentina's startled parents, as several maids settle Valentina back into bed.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Armed with this new knowledge of Valentina's condition, Augustus worked with her, day and night, in order to help her manage her symptoms-- while he secretly looked for a cure. Unfortunately, none of the magic in the world, nor a philosopher's stone, could reverse what fate had done to Valentina. But even so, Valentina did not lose heart, and neither did her parents. And as we see here, not only were Valentina's parents ready to do anything and everything to help her, they were even the very first people that Valentina fed on. Which is why we see Valentina noming on her father's arm in this picture, and her mother's neck in this picture. Now, for those of you wondering why Valentina would even resort to feeding...
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As we can see in this diagram here, a Mana Elixir actually contains little to no mana in and of itself. It's primary purpose is to help the consumer's body absorb external mana, with the little mana it does contain only serving as a means to "kickstart" that process. In contrast, when a Vampire feeds off of another living being, the fluid that enters into their mouths is 100% pure liquid mana, or Aetheron, for those Alchemy Majors amongst us. This is why Valentina consumed large volumes of the Mana Elixir on her 18th birthday, and it's why Vampires feed off of other beings to this day. It is simply more efficient. And speaking of feeding, I think it's time we get on to the Protozeal Ethics portion of our discussion today.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Society has many different opinions regarding the act of Feeding, but thankfully for us, the information contained on these slides is irrefutable fact. So if you didn't already know... Vampires don't actually drink blood, as we so often see in books or television. What actually happens is an extremely complicated, bio-magical transmutation process, that Alchemists the world over are still trying to replicate. But to put it as simply as I can, the abnormally elongated canines of a Vampire, or their quote/unqote "fangs," if your a normie-- act as polaric constructs that draw mana to them. When a "Vampire" bites down on a person, their fangs draw magic particles out of their prey's body, and then force those particles to condensate inside the Vampires mouth; creating a liquid the Vampire can then drink. And because all liquids containing mana have a propensity to turn red; it is easy to see how, from a distance, people may be lead to believe that "Vampires" consume blood. Which is a totally disgusting notion, by the way.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In feeding off of living beings, Vampires are given a kind of repreive from their bodily ailments. I'm sure all of you have experienced this yourselves, at one time or another, so I won't go into too much detail; but for the sake of the curriculum, allow me to just say that feeding makes a Vampire stronger, faster, more resilient, and just healthier overall. Though we still suffer from things like poor eyesight and/or easily damaged skin, no matter how much we feed. Remeber, "Vampirism" is a chronic, genetic condition; not an illness that can be cured.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: And speaking of "Incurables" (sigh) I now have the distinct displeasure of telling you all how others might pervert the feeding process.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As most of you can imagine, it would be incredibly problematic if a Vampire's prey ran away from them before a feeding, or if they fought back as a Vampire was consuming their mana... And as if in response to this dilemma, the bodies of Vampires naturally adapted themselves, in order to provide a solution... Put succintly, a Vampire's bite is known to generate intense waves of Euphoria, and other such emotions, in the person being bitten. Leaving little motivation for anyone to resist having their mana taken.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: On the surface, this seems like a good thing. The Vampire gets to feed, and provide essential nutrients to their ailing body; while their prey gets to feel good whilst donating some of their excess mana. Everyone wins. Or at least, that's what you would expect... (Deep sigh)... But unfortunately, there are many individuals out there who would take advantage of the effects of a Vampire bite. Using it to block out the pain of their lives, or introduce a new kind of stimulus to it. This is part of the reason why Vampires aren't allowed to attend the formal Freshman Orientation. It isn't only because we all need to learn when and where to feed, but rather, it's because we need to learn that others may entice us to feed of off them, in accordance with their own selfish desires... Please, don't let anyone make a tool out of you. Especially those who claim to be your friends. I know it might be hard to hear that, and even harder to follow through on, so please know that my door is always open; If you ever need to talk. The scheduled office hours on my door be damned. If you need me, I'll be there. I Promise.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: (Sigh of relief) And, that should about do it for our first lecture. Thank you all so much for your patience and attention. I'd like to open the floor now for any questions that you may have.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes; you, near the window.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, an astute question. For those of you who didn't hear, Miss Seren asked why demi-humans of all kinds can end up as Vampires. If you take a look around the room yourselves, you can see that we actually have demis of all kinds in attendance here today. Mr Brutus is a Minotaur. Miss Nadia is a Scylla. Mr. Ryuji is a Dragonborn, Mr. Tempus is a Shifter. Miss Selica is a Harpy. And Miss Seren herself is a Gorgon. We all come from different magical lineages, and this in turn, might cause an uninformed person to think that Vampirism is transferrable. But as we have already discussed, Vampirism stems from genetics, so any species that has a history of reproducing with humans, has a chance of siring Vampire children. Hmm... now that I've mentioned humans, I have to ask, do we... have any in this class? Cause I don't think I we do.
[Chairs shuffling]
Professor E: Oh, I see a hand! There you are, you sneaky little thing, hiding behind Mr. Brutus like that. No, no-- don't be shy. I know that, as an Arachnid, my form may be a bit imposing; but I promise, the yellow stripes on my body are meant to scare away predators, not you-- precious. In fact, since you're the only human here, why don't you come up to the front and introduce yourself?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Oh, there's no need to be nervous. I'll have everyone introduce themselves at some point today, but since you're a human, and can weave through the various desks with ease, I think it makes sense to have you come to the front to make your introduction. That way, everyone can see you clearly, without having to try and peer behind Mr. Brutus.
[soft chuckling]
Professor E: You don't think you're that insteresting? Nonsense! As the only human vampire here, you must have a strong connection to Lady Valentina's bloodline. Why, I would wager that you have direct ties to one or more of the ancient magus families, making you arcanic nobility.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: You're not sure? Well, how about this; you come up to the front and introduce yourself, and I promise to figure out the rest. Deal?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, sweet thing; this is me volen-telling you to get up here, in the nicest way I know how (cheerful giggle).
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's the spirit! Let's get a big round of applause for our brave new freshman!
[Round of applause]
Professor E: (Whispering in Listener's ear) Sorry not sorry for the round of applause. When I saw how red you were getting up, I couldn't help myself, I had to tease you; even if only a little. Forgive me later... (Audibly, for the class) Now then, sweetpea, why don't you tell us what your name is, and what noble house of mages you belong to?
[END]
2024.05.30 15:19 mansplanar 95 Hinge prompt answers to inspire your profile
The art of putting together the perfect dating app profile—one that’s honest, eye-catching, and also tells the world, "Swipe right on me, I actually am this cool IRL"—can be tricky. How, you might ask, can I sum up everything I’m about with just a few short words and pictures? Thankfully, prompts exist for this very reason: to give prospective matches a sense of who you are so that you don’t have to wrack your brain for vague “bio” language that could range anywhere from your birth chart, to your favourite quote from The Office, neither of which really give people too much practical information about you. (Sorry!)
Hinge lets you display answers to three prompts, but there are tons of options to choose from (including voice prompts!), which can make deciding what to share kind of a challenge. If you’re stumped, go through them one by one and ask yourself: What’s most important for my matches to know about me? What questions can I answer to really highlight the things I love about myself? What questions give my matches the most information possible, while making them want to know more?
Once you’ve picked your prompts, it’s time to get creative and make your Hinge prompt answers really shine. That’s where we—professional writers and dating connoisseurs, if we do say so ourselves—come in. We’ve compiled a list of sample answers to some of the most common Hinge prompts. Feel free to use these as inspo for your own profile, but don’t be afraid to (in fact you should) customise them to fit your own personality.
I’m convinced that…
There’s no better use of a Friday night than take-out sushi and a movie marathon.
I can make a better chocolate chip cookie than anyone on The Great British Bake-Off. 🍪
I could probably beat you in chess.
There’s life on other planets! 🛸
Steve Carrell is actually as nice as he seems.
My simple pleasures…
A hot cup of coffee on a chilly day. ☕️
A good yoga session after work.
Coming home to my dog.
A really great book.
The unbeatable true crime podcast + power walk combo.
Typical Sunday…
An early wake-up, followed by a long gym-sesh, then brunch, then errands—I like to keep busy!
Sleep in, sleep in some more…sleep all day actually. 😅
Wake up late but not too late, homemade waffles, and a walk around the neighborhood.
A six-hour brunch with the girls. 🥂
Sunday reset! I like to meal prep for the week and deep-clean my apartment.
My greatest strength…
I’m a really great listener—my friends say I give great advice.
I fully embody the work-hard-play-hard mentality.
I can make you the best homemade mashed potatoes you’ll ever have.
My memory. I will never forget a name, face, or birthday!
Always finding the best avocados at Waitrose! 🥑
The best way to ask me out is by…
Making a plan in advance and sticking to it. Commitment is sexy!
Promising me tacos and margs. 🌮
Asking me to FaceTime first. Then, if we vibe, we can meet IRL!
Sending me a carrier pigeon with a “Circle Yes or No” note attached. (Kidding! Kind of!)
Making it on a Thursday—it’s my only free night of the week!
I’m weirdly attracted to…
People who go to therapy! (Aka: People who prioritise their mental health.)
Dog-owners. Give me allll the puppies!
People who can make me laugh.
Good conversation—let’s sit and talk for hours.
Brains! Tell me your favorite fun fact. 🧠
The hallmark of a good relationship is…
That it feels easy and natural. Conversation should flow!
That we have fun and laugh together.
That we’re both on the same page about what we want for the future.
Similar values!
Friendship. I want to date my best friend! 👯♀️
Something that’s non-negotiable for me is…
Communication. Tell me how you really feel!
An annual Parks and Rec re-watch.
Friday night date nights—quality time is super important to me!
You cook, I clean up. I burn everything I try to make. 😇
You have to love my cat…and get my cat to love you.
I’m looking for…
Someone who also knows all the words to Abba’s “Dancing Queen.”
A lifelong dance partner.💃🏻💃🏻
A good time and a long time.
Something fun, easy, and low-commitment.
My phone charger…have you seen it anywhere?
Green flags I look for…
A [*insert sports team here*] fan. ⚽️
Someone who texts back within the hour.
A headboard. Bonus points if your sheets aren’t navy blue!
No fish pics on your profile 🙅♀️🐠
Someone who takes initiative and makes the first move. 😉
I won't shut up about...
The new Bridgerton spin-off.
The Space X launch!
My college football team. We’re the best, don’t try to argue.
My trip to Argentina next month. I can’t wait to drink all the best wine! 🍷
The cheesecake I had for dessert last weekend. It was truly the best cheesecake I’ve ever had.
The key to my heart is…
That you can make me laugh!
That you get along with my dog. 🐶
Being willing to give me foot massages after a long day.
Through my stomach. What do your skills in the kitchen look like? 👀
That you show genuine interest in my interests, and that we can share hobbies!
I get myself out of a funk by…
Getting in a good cry.
A nice, long, therapy session or vent sesh with a friend.
Going for a swim! Nothing like those endorphins.🏊🏻♀️
Ordering in and re-watching my comfort movie.
Getting dressed up and going out with friends! It’s impossible to be sad when Harry Styles is playing on blast.
My friends ask me for advice about…
Career stuff. I work in HR!
Phrasing texts and emails—I’m good with words!
Travel recs! I’ve been to 25 countries and counting. ✈️
Credit card points, I’m addicted to finding the best deals.
Books! I read a ton so I always know what to recommend to people.
I wind down by…
Drinking a tall glass of wine at the end of the day and listening to my favorite podcast.
Working out and a good stretch.
Honestly, cleaning! Is that weird? It calms me down.
Diving into a good book.
Venting! My friends deserve medals for listening to me talk.
The one thing I’d love to know about you is…
How do you like to spend your weekends?
When are you going to ask me out? 👀
Not to sound cliché but…what are you looking for on here?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Have you ever read a book that changed your life?
Let’s make sure we’re on the same page about…
Where we see ourselves in 10 years.
Ordering dessert—it’s a non-negotiable for me.🍦
A night in being waaay better than a night out.
Cats > dogs.
Who we voted for in the last election!
Biggest risk I’ve taken…
Moving to [*insert city where you live here*] after spending my whole life in [*insert city where you’re from*].
Solo-traveling through Europe my last summer in college.
Quitting my job to pursue my passion for cheese-making! 🧀
Buying my fixer-upper apartment. I regret nothing—I love my home!
Trying [*insert new hobby here*] even though it pushed me out of my comfort zone.
Most spontaneous thing I’ve done…
Booked a weekend trip to France the night before with my girlfriends.
Surprisingly ended up in the VIP section of [*insert club or bar here*].
I sublet my apartment and moved to [*insert city here*] for an entire month.
The pottery [*or whatever other class/workout/hobby you tried*] class I took last week! It was so fun to try something new.
Downloaded this app. 👀
submitted by mansplanar to MatchMeBro [link] [comments]
Hinge lets you display answers to three prompts, but there are tons of options to choose from (including voice prompts!), which can make deciding what to share kind of a challenge. If you’re stumped, go through them one by one and ask yourself: What’s most important for my matches to know about me? What questions can I answer to really highlight the things I love about myself? What questions give my matches the most information possible, while making them want to know more?
Once you’ve picked your prompts, it’s time to get creative and make your Hinge prompt answers really shine. That’s where we—professional writers and dating connoisseurs, if we do say so ourselves—come in. We’ve compiled a list of sample answers to some of the most common Hinge prompts. Feel free to use these as inspo for your own profile, but don’t be afraid to (in fact you should) customise them to fit your own personality.
I’m convinced that…
There’s no better use of a Friday night than take-out sushi and a movie marathon.
I can make a better chocolate chip cookie than anyone on The Great British Bake-Off. 🍪
I could probably beat you in chess.
There’s life on other planets! 🛸
Steve Carrell is actually as nice as he seems.
My simple pleasures…
A hot cup of coffee on a chilly day. ☕️
A good yoga session after work.
Coming home to my dog.
A really great book.
The unbeatable true crime podcast + power walk combo.
Typical Sunday…
An early wake-up, followed by a long gym-sesh, then brunch, then errands—I like to keep busy!
Sleep in, sleep in some more…sleep all day actually. 😅
Wake up late but not too late, homemade waffles, and a walk around the neighborhood.
A six-hour brunch with the girls. 🥂
Sunday reset! I like to meal prep for the week and deep-clean my apartment.
My greatest strength…
I’m a really great listener—my friends say I give great advice.
I fully embody the work-hard-play-hard mentality.
I can make you the best homemade mashed potatoes you’ll ever have.
My memory. I will never forget a name, face, or birthday!
Always finding the best avocados at Waitrose! 🥑
The best way to ask me out is by…
Making a plan in advance and sticking to it. Commitment is sexy!
Promising me tacos and margs. 🌮
Asking me to FaceTime first. Then, if we vibe, we can meet IRL!
Sending me a carrier pigeon with a “Circle Yes or No” note attached. (Kidding! Kind of!)
Making it on a Thursday—it’s my only free night of the week!
I’m weirdly attracted to…
People who go to therapy! (Aka: People who prioritise their mental health.)
Dog-owners. Give me allll the puppies!
People who can make me laugh.
Good conversation—let’s sit and talk for hours.
Brains! Tell me your favorite fun fact. 🧠
The hallmark of a good relationship is…
That it feels easy and natural. Conversation should flow!
That we have fun and laugh together.
That we’re both on the same page about what we want for the future.
Similar values!
Friendship. I want to date my best friend! 👯♀️
Something that’s non-negotiable for me is…
Communication. Tell me how you really feel!
An annual Parks and Rec re-watch.
Friday night date nights—quality time is super important to me!
You cook, I clean up. I burn everything I try to make. 😇
You have to love my cat…and get my cat to love you.
I’m looking for…
Someone who also knows all the words to Abba’s “Dancing Queen.”
A lifelong dance partner.💃🏻💃🏻
A good time and a long time.
Something fun, easy, and low-commitment.
My phone charger…have you seen it anywhere?
Green flags I look for…
A [*insert sports team here*] fan. ⚽️
Someone who texts back within the hour.
A headboard. Bonus points if your sheets aren’t navy blue!
No fish pics on your profile 🙅♀️🐠
Someone who takes initiative and makes the first move. 😉
I won't shut up about...
The new Bridgerton spin-off.
The Space X launch!
My college football team. We’re the best, don’t try to argue.
My trip to Argentina next month. I can’t wait to drink all the best wine! 🍷
The cheesecake I had for dessert last weekend. It was truly the best cheesecake I’ve ever had.
The key to my heart is…
That you can make me laugh!
That you get along with my dog. 🐶
Being willing to give me foot massages after a long day.
Through my stomach. What do your skills in the kitchen look like? 👀
That you show genuine interest in my interests, and that we can share hobbies!
I get myself out of a funk by…
Getting in a good cry.
A nice, long, therapy session or vent sesh with a friend.
Going for a swim! Nothing like those endorphins.🏊🏻♀️
Ordering in and re-watching my comfort movie.
Getting dressed up and going out with friends! It’s impossible to be sad when Harry Styles is playing on blast.
My friends ask me for advice about…
Career stuff. I work in HR!
Phrasing texts and emails—I’m good with words!
Travel recs! I’ve been to 25 countries and counting. ✈️
Credit card points, I’m addicted to finding the best deals.
Books! I read a ton so I always know what to recommend to people.
I wind down by…
Drinking a tall glass of wine at the end of the day and listening to my favorite podcast.
Working out and a good stretch.
Honestly, cleaning! Is that weird? It calms me down.
Diving into a good book.
Venting! My friends deserve medals for listening to me talk.
The one thing I’d love to know about you is…
How do you like to spend your weekends?
When are you going to ask me out? 👀
Not to sound cliché but…what are you looking for on here?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Have you ever read a book that changed your life?
Let’s make sure we’re on the same page about…
Where we see ourselves in 10 years.
Ordering dessert—it’s a non-negotiable for me.🍦
A night in being waaay better than a night out.
Cats > dogs.
Who we voted for in the last election!
Biggest risk I’ve taken…
Moving to [*insert city where you live here*] after spending my whole life in [*insert city where you’re from*].
Solo-traveling through Europe my last summer in college.
Quitting my job to pursue my passion for cheese-making! 🧀
Buying my fixer-upper apartment. I regret nothing—I love my home!
Trying [*insert new hobby here*] even though it pushed me out of my comfort zone.
Most spontaneous thing I’ve done…
Booked a weekend trip to France the night before with my girlfriends.
Surprisingly ended up in the VIP section of [*insert club or bar here*].
I sublet my apartment and moved to [*insert city here*] for an entire month.
The pottery [*or whatever other class/workout/hobby you tried*] class I took last week! It was so fun to try something new.
Downloaded this app. 👀
2024.05.30 00:30 AutoModerator General Questions Thread, May 29, 2024
A thread for new collectors to ask basic questions of the community.
Frequently Asked Questions below!
A longer version of the subreddit rules is here.
For questions specifically concerning bootlegs or vendor legitimacy, please ask in the Bootleg Megathread.
NSFW & Spoiler Guidelines
Any collection posts containing bootlegs, comments advocating buying bootlegs, or links to sites selling bootlegs, recasts, or unlicensed merchandise will be removed.
People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another sign is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on.
MyFigureCollection
My Figure Collection is like MyAnimeList... but for figures! Their database includes thousands of items which been produced during the last couple of decades, along with reviews of shops and other helpful articles. One can also list their own collection and post gallery photos.
Shops
That’s going to depend a lot on what works for you, but most people around here buy them from Amiami, Big in Japan, Hobby Search, HobbyLink Japan, or Tokyo Otaku Mode. If none of those work for you for whatever reason, there’s a list of reputable retailers in the sidebar that you can check out at any time. Be extra careful when ordering figures from websites like Amazon or ebay, as there are a lot of bootlegs on those sites. Don’t be afraid to ask in our Bootleg Megathread if you’re unsure.
2. What differences are there between the shipping options I get from most Japanese shops?
Below is a rundown of the main shipping choices you’ll get at most retailers. Keep in mind that if an order is large enough you will be forced to use one of the more expensive options, as SAL shipments have lower size and weight restrictions.
Most shops will ask you to pay shipping on a per-order basis, but here are some that will allow combined shipping:
4. When will I get charged for my preorder?
Most Japanese shops charge you once the item is in stock and ready for shipment. When that happens, they will send you an email asking for payment. Some shops (mostly overseas ones), will allow you to pay for the item up front though, if you’d like. A few with that option are:
5. Should I expect to pay customs fees when importing figures?
That depends on where you live. Here’s a quick rundown:
You have three options for this:
A. Big in Japan is known to stock exclusive figures and ship to other countries. Usually the price is higher because they build in their proxy fees, but it’s easier than worrying about using a forwarder or proxy service. If you live in the US, Crunchyroll, Right Stuf, and Tokyo Otaku Mode also get exclusives sometimes, but out of the states the shipping can get expensive.
B. Forwarding Services: A forwarder is someone who you ship an exclusive item to so that they can forward the package on to you, usually for a flat fee + shipping. When using a forwarder you still make the purchase yourself, and enter their address into the shipping field. When the box arrives at the forwarder they will then stick your address onto the package and send it on its way.
Some popular forwarders are:
Be sure to read each sites instructions on forwarding carefully!
C. Proxy Services: With a proxy, you tell them what the item you’re looking for is and they will purchase it in your stead. This is handy for when a company doesn’t accept foreign credit cards, or you’re having trouble navigating a Japanese website.
Some popular proxies are:
7. I see a bunch of really cheap figures that ship from China on ebay. Are those okay to buy?
Generally, no. They’re most likely bootlegs. If you want a second opinion on that, feel free to ask in the Bootleg Megathread that’s always stickied at the top of the sub.
8. What’s a bootleg, and how can I avoid buying them?
A bootleg is a counterfeit figure often made using rejected molds of the official product. They are usually priced significantly lower than the genuine article, and in order to make their profit, bootleggers use lower quality materials and have less attention to detail- resulting in a substandard figure.
The Bootleg Megathread that I mentioned in question 7 is a great tool to avoid buying any bootlegs. It has a few tips and tricks to avoiding them to begin with, and a few more on how to spot them if you’re worried you might already own one.
9. Does anyone know when figure X is going to be released? How do I know if it was delayed?
My Figure Collection (sometimes referred to as MFC) does an excellent job of staying on top of information like release dates and delays. If you’re curious about an upcoming figures release date, check there first. This information can be found directly under the “Releases” section on a figure’s entry. If you only see a month and a year in that section, it means the release date has not yet been announced by the manufacturer, and there is still a chance the figure could be delayed.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
10. The figure I want is long sold out at normal retailers! What’s the best place to pick it up in the aftermarket?
A list of reputable retailers can be found under the “Shops” section of the /AnimeFigures sidebar. They all sell legitimate products, and many of them also sell figures second hand. However, the most frequently suggested second hand sites are Mandarake and Amiami- who has a preowned section that they update every night save Sundays and Japanese holidays around 1PM JST and again around 6PM JST.
AmiAmi grades their pre-owned items on a letter scale. The general consensus from buyers is that their ratings are conservative, so unless the item and/or packaging is specifically indicated as having significant flaws, pre-owned items from them are usually in at least as good a condition as their rating suggests.
Note: When you search Mandarake, you’ll get the best results by using the Japanese characters for whatever you are searching. If you don’t know them, you can find them on MFC by clicking on any of the “details” in that figure’s listing.
11. Amiami has a figure I’m interested in labeled as “For sale in Japan only”. Does this mean I can’t order it without a proxy or forwarder?
No, you can still order it. Amiami’s English site has that warning on many items, and it’s mostly meant to inform you that this product was made for a Japanese market, and as such, will have Japanese speaking/writing in it- so don’t expect any instructions to be in English. If Amiami doesn’t want foreigners buying a certain product, they won’t even list it on their English site.
If you live near an Ikea try out one of these:
If you don’t live near an Ikea, Amazon has a few display options, though they are more expensive. Also keep an eye on your local Craigslist (or your country’s equivalent) and stores near you that are closing up.
13. What lighting do you guys recommend?
Ikea’s Dioder LED strips were discontinued after a long run. A current version is the Vattensten, if you're inclined to buy your case and lights at the same time.
LED strips have become very commonly available in recent years; most hardware and home furnishing stores carry a selection now. Just make sure that the lights don’t get too hot!
14. What are those clear plastic boxes that I see under everyone’s figures in their collection posts, and where can I get them?
Those are called risers. Most of us use standard acrylic risers like these. Some other, easy to find things that have been suggested are:
Another common suggestion is to visit The Container Store if you have one near you. They have a lot of things to choose from that can suit a variety of needs. Be sure to check out their standard acrylic risers, their Amac boxes, and the various display cases they sell (baseball cases, mini car cases. hockey puck cases, etc).
15. Should I keep my figures sealed?
That is, of course, up to you really, but here are a few things to keep in mind when debating this question:
Those are classifications for figures based on a few factors.
17. There are so many figure companies! Who makes good figures?!
Obviously this is a very subjective question, but as a general starting point, here are a few well renowned figure companies:
My Figure Collection can be your best friend here. Simply do a search on the name of the series or character using the search bar located at the top right of the screen, and all associated figures pop up!
Alternatively, if you’re looking at a figure’s MFC entry, most of the text under the “Details” section can be clicked on and used to run a search.
19. How can I commission a custom figure?
None of the major figure companies (Alter, Kotobukiya, Good Smile Company, etc.) will take a commission for a single figure. This thread has a few websites in it that you can check out, or you can look into garage kits. Some kit painters would be willing to resculpt, frankenstein together, or otherwise modify kits for the right price.
If you're looking for help completing a garage kit, /brushforhire may be useful.
Most people use a MFC combined with any or all of the following news sites:
To use MFC for this I’ll quote question #9.
21. Everyone’s excited about something called Wonfes….. what the heck is that?!
WonFes (short for Wonder Festival) is a biannual figure expo where many figure producers (both large and small) show off new sculpts and updates to figures already under way. Most companies save their most exciting announcements for WonFes, so we all look forward to the expo whenever it rolls around! Winter Wonder Festival is usually held in February, while Summer Wonder Festival is usually in July. The event has also spread to Shanghai, in the late spring.
22. One or two (or 15) figures were announced at WonFes that I’m really excited about! How can I keep track of their progress once the event is over?
MFC is always really quick about getting new WonFes announcements (or any others throughout the year, for that matter) listed in their database, so we suggest using that. To find a figure from the event you can search any number of things, including the name of the character or the name of the show. You can also use the tag search to search “WonderFestival 20xx_[season]” to see all items announced at that event.
submitted by AutoModerator to AnimeFigures [link] [comments]
Frequently Asked Questions below!
A longer version of the subreddit rules is here.
For questions specifically concerning bootlegs or vendor legitimacy, please ask in the Bootleg Megathread.
- For Self Posts: include a bolded NSFW note next to links in that post.
- For Links to sites/images: If the figure is NSFW, or the website has any NSFW content (including ads) be sure to tag your post NSFW and use the appropriate link flair.
Any collection posts containing bootlegs, comments advocating buying bootlegs, or links to sites selling bootlegs, recasts, or unlicensed merchandise will be removed.
People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another sign is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on.
MyFigureCollection
My Figure Collection is like MyAnimeList... but for figures! Their database includes thousands of items which been produced during the last couple of decades, along with reviews of shops and other helpful articles. One can also list their own collection and post gallery photos.
Shops
Retailers:Blogs/News:
AmiAmi HobbySearch Mandarake (sells rare figures) Good Smile Company Online Shop (often has exclusives) Good Smile Company US shop Crunchyroll Store Hobby Link Japan (aka HLJ) Solaris Japan (MFC partner) BigBadToyStore (MFC partner, US retailer) Big in Japan (also has proxy service) Tokyo Otaku Mode FigureHaven Archonia (EU) Yorokonde (EU) Figuya (EU) Gamersheek (UK) Jungle
List of retailers on MFC
/AnimeFigures' List of Retailers
Community Guide to Shopping in Japan
Nekomagic (News/Previews) NyaaFigurines (Reviews/Releases) Kahotan's Blog (News/Reviews) Figma Blog (JP)
Buying & Shipping
1. What’s the best place to buy my anime figures from?That’s going to depend a lot on what works for you, but most people around here buy them from Amiami, Big in Japan, Hobby Search, HobbyLink Japan, or Tokyo Otaku Mode. If none of those work for you for whatever reason, there’s a list of reputable retailers in the sidebar that you can check out at any time. Be extra careful when ordering figures from websites like Amazon or ebay, as there are a lot of bootlegs on those sites. Don’t be afraid to ask in our Bootleg Megathread if you’re unsure.
2. What differences are there between the shipping options I get from most Japanese shops?
Below is a rundown of the main shipping choices you’ll get at most retailers. Keep in mind that if an order is large enough you will be forced to use one of the more expensive options, as SAL shipments have lower size and weight restrictions.
- Unregistered SAL: Sometimes referred to as uSAL, is usually the cheapest method. It does not come with any tracking or insurance. Usually takes up 2-4 weeks for delivery.
- Registered SAL: Sometimes referred to as rSAL, is insured for the declared value up to 6,000 yen. It comes with a tracking number and usually takes 2-4 weeks for delivery.
- EMS: This method of shipping is much faster than either SAL options, usually arriving within a week of shipment. EMS shipments are insured for the declared value up to 2,000,000 yen.
- Airmail
- E-packet
- Surface: Shops don't offer this very often. It's an actual cargo ship and slow as a result.
- DHL: Becoming more available as an alternative to EMS on AmiAmi and other sites. Can be less expensive than EMS and of comparable speed, but may be more reliant on the specific geographical area being shipped to. The price is also determined by the size of the box. Offers their own tracking.
Most shops will ask you to pay shipping on a per-order basis, but here are some that will allow combined shipping:
- Amiami: You can combine orders here, as long as the orders ship in the same month. It doesn’t matter if the item is new or preowned. Any preorders that are set for that month can also be combined with other orders for that month. However, be aware that if the preorder gets delayed, Amiami will remove that item from that month’s shipment and place it on a new order. To combine orders on Amiami, use the “Combine Orders” feature under “My Account”.
- Hobby Search: Hobby Search will let you combine orders that release in the same month, but you cannot combine in stock items with preorders. If you want to combine multiple preorders, or multiple in stock items, you can do so using the “Order Recombination” feature on your account page.
- HobbyLink Japan: At HLJ, you have the option to send paid orders to their “Private Warehouse”, where you can store them for up to 2 months. When you’re ready to ship the items, you simply select which items to ship and HLJ will combine them into one shipment for you. To use this, just select the “Private Warehouse” option as shipping when you order.
4. When will I get charged for my preorder?
Most Japanese shops charge you once the item is in stock and ready for shipment. When that happens, they will send you an email asking for payment. Some shops (mostly overseas ones), will allow you to pay for the item up front though, if you’d like. A few with that option are:
- Big in Japan (Japanese store)
- Tokyo Otaku Mode
- Anime Island
- Crunchyroll
5. Should I expect to pay customs fees when importing figures?
That depends on where you live. Here’s a quick rundown:
- Australia: 10% GST is now assessed up front.
- Canada: Minimum declared value for charges is around CAD$20 for regular shipments, and CAD$60 for gifts (gifting something only seems to lower the declared value by about CAD$40, not deplete it completely). When using Amiami, try their Small Air Packet option. It comes with tracking, gets there in about the same time as EMS, and is better at avoiding customs.
- European Union: As of 1st July 2021, VAT has to be paid on all goods imported from outside of the EU. Retailers are supposed charge VAT for purchases under €150, however many Japanese retailers currently do not, so VAT will be charged when your order arrives in the EU. Orders that are >€150, VAT and duty will be charged by your local customs.
- UK: As of 1st January 2021, VAT is to be charged by retailers for orders <£135. However, customs isn't currently charging VAT on parcels valued at <£135, even if the VAT hasn't been paid. Goods >£135 will have their VAT and duty calculated and charged by customs.
- Mexico: Minimum declared value for customs fees is USD$300 for shipments by post, and USD$50 for shipments by courier.
- United States: A shipment has to have a declared value of USD$2,000 before customs starts hitting you with fees, so you most likely won’t have to worry about them at all.
You have three options for this:
A. Big in Japan is known to stock exclusive figures and ship to other countries. Usually the price is higher because they build in their proxy fees, but it’s easier than worrying about using a forwarder or proxy service. If you live in the US, Crunchyroll, Right Stuf, and Tokyo Otaku Mode also get exclusives sometimes, but out of the states the shipping can get expensive.
B. Forwarding Services: A forwarder is someone who you ship an exclusive item to so that they can forward the package on to you, usually for a flat fee + shipping. When using a forwarder you still make the purchase yourself, and enter their address into the shipping field. When the box arrives at the forwarder they will then stick your address onto the package and send it on its way.
Some popular forwarders are:
Be sure to read each sites instructions on forwarding carefully!
C. Proxy Services: With a proxy, you tell them what the item you’re looking for is and they will purchase it in your stead. This is handy for when a company doesn’t accept foreign credit cards, or you’re having trouble navigating a Japanese website.
Some popular proxies are:
- Big in Japan (Won’t proxy for Yahoo Auctions)
- From Japan
7. I see a bunch of really cheap figures that ship from China on ebay. Are those okay to buy?
Generally, no. They’re most likely bootlegs. If you want a second opinion on that, feel free to ask in the Bootleg Megathread that’s always stickied at the top of the sub.
8. What’s a bootleg, and how can I avoid buying them?
A bootleg is a counterfeit figure often made using rejected molds of the official product. They are usually priced significantly lower than the genuine article, and in order to make their profit, bootleggers use lower quality materials and have less attention to detail- resulting in a substandard figure.
The Bootleg Megathread that I mentioned in question 7 is a great tool to avoid buying any bootlegs. It has a few tips and tricks to avoiding them to begin with, and a few more on how to spot them if you’re worried you might already own one.
9. Does anyone know when figure X is going to be released? How do I know if it was delayed?
My Figure Collection (sometimes referred to as MFC) does an excellent job of staying on top of information like release dates and delays. If you’re curious about an upcoming figures release date, check there first. This information can be found directly under the “Releases” section on a figure’s entry. If you only see a month and a year in that section, it means the release date has not yet been announced by the manufacturer, and there is still a chance the figure could be delayed.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
10. The figure I want is long sold out at normal retailers! What’s the best place to pick it up in the aftermarket?
A list of reputable retailers can be found under the “Shops” section of the /AnimeFigures sidebar. They all sell legitimate products, and many of them also sell figures second hand. However, the most frequently suggested second hand sites are Mandarake and Amiami- who has a preowned section that they update every night save Sundays and Japanese holidays around 1PM JST and again around 6PM JST.
AmiAmi grades their pre-owned items on a letter scale. The general consensus from buyers is that their ratings are conservative, so unless the item and/or packaging is specifically indicated as having significant flaws, pre-owned items from them are usually in at least as good a condition as their rating suggests.
Note: When you search Mandarake, you’ll get the best results by using the Japanese characters for whatever you are searching. If you don’t know them, you can find them on MFC by clicking on any of the “details” in that figure’s listing.
11. Amiami has a figure I’m interested in labeled as “For sale in Japan only”. Does this mean I can’t order it without a proxy or forwarder?
No, you can still order it. Amiami’s English site has that warning on many items, and it’s mostly meant to inform you that this product was made for a Japanese market, and as such, will have Japanese speaking/writing in it- so don’t expect any instructions to be in English. If Amiami doesn’t want foreigners buying a certain product, they won’t even list it on their English site.
Displaying Your Figures
12. What display cases do you recommend?If you live near an Ikea try out one of these:
- Klingsbo
- Billy (Often used with Morliden doors (now the HÖGBO and glass shelves.)
- Detolf: Formerly the go-to choice for inexpensive display cabinetry, the Detolf was first made flimsier around 2020 and then essentially phased out of the name, to become the BLÅLIDEN. Knockoff versions of widely-varying quality are commonly found on other shopping sites these days, though.
If you don’t live near an Ikea, Amazon has a few display options, though they are more expensive. Also keep an eye on your local Craigslist (or your country’s equivalent) and stores near you that are closing up.
13. What lighting do you guys recommend?
Ikea’s Dioder LED strips were discontinued after a long run. A current version is the Vattensten, if you're inclined to buy your case and lights at the same time.
LED strips have become very commonly available in recent years; most hardware and home furnishing stores carry a selection now. Just make sure that the lights don’t get too hot!
14. What are those clear plastic boxes that I see under everyone’s figures in their collection posts, and where can I get them?
Those are called risers. Most of us use standard acrylic risers like these. Some other, easy to find things that have been suggested are:
- Plastic picture cubes
- Card Deck Boxes
- If you’re feeling adventurous, try making your own!
Another common suggestion is to visit The Container Store if you have one near you. They have a lot of things to choose from that can suit a variety of needs. Be sure to check out their standard acrylic risers, their Amac boxes, and the various display cases they sell (baseball cases, mini car cases. hockey puck cases, etc).
15. Should I keep my figures sealed?
That is, of course, up to you really, but here are a few things to keep in mind when debating this question:
- Keeping it sealed can actually damage your figure. PVC figures usually have something called plasticizer in them, and that plasticizer needs to be able to breath. If a PVC figure isn’t exposed to oxygen, after a period of time the plasticizer starts to break down and form a sticky substance on the surface of the figure. Simply opening your figures and taking them out of the box prevents this from happening. If you happen to find plasticizer goo on one of your figures, Kahotan has a handy guide for dealing with it.
- Unlike some other figure markets, keeping an anime figure sealed won’t raise its value by a whole lot. In fact, because of the plasticizer problem mentioned above, your figure could actually be in better condition if you open it versus keeping it sealed.
Finding the Right Figure(s) for You
16. What are "scales" and "prizes"? What is the difference between them?Those are classifications for figures based on a few factors.
- "Prizes" are generally more simply produced figures which are intended to be given as prizes for playing arcade games. They are inexpensive and lack the detail of scale figures, though some prize figure lines have standouts which may approach lower-end scales in quality. That is uncommon and often depends on the individual figure.
- "Scales" are called such because they are nominally designed to be proportional to the dimensions of the character which they are based on. They are generally of much better manufacture and materials than prize figures, allowing for more detail in painting, accessories, or complex poses.
- "Trading" figures appear in gashapon machines or as blind boxes on shop counters, often as sets which include multiple characters. As suggested by the class name, the randomness encourages trading. They are usually very inexpensively-produced, though as with prizes, some series are better than others.
- "Non-scale" encompasses a variety of other categories. It is often used to describe poseable figure lines such as figma and Nendoroids.
17. There are so many figure companies! Who makes good figures?!
Obviously this is a very subjective question, but as a general starting point, here are a few well renowned figure companies:
- Alter
- Max Factory
- Good Smile Company
- Kotobukiya (usually hit or miss for people. Use your best judgement based off of the prototype)
- Flare
- Stronger
My Figure Collection can be your best friend here. Simply do a search on the name of the series or character using the search bar located at the top right of the screen, and all associated figures pop up!
Alternatively, if you’re looking at a figure’s MFC entry, most of the text under the “Details” section can be clicked on and used to run a search.
19. How can I commission a custom figure?
None of the major figure companies (Alter, Kotobukiya, Good Smile Company, etc.) will take a commission for a single figure. This thread has a few websites in it that you can check out, or you can look into garage kits. Some kit painters would be willing to resculpt, frankenstein together, or otherwise modify kits for the right price.
If you're looking for help completing a garage kit, /brushforhire may be useful.
Keeping Up with New Announcements
20. How can I keep up with figure news (announcements, updates, etc.)?Most people use a MFC combined with any or all of the following news sites:
- Neko Magic
- Alter’s Blog (In Japanese)
- Kahotan’s Blog (Only GSC and their sister companies)
To use MFC for this I’ll quote question #9.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.Most companies have one or more Twitter accounts. Some examples: Good Smile Company sales, Good Smile's USA branch, Max Factory, AmiAmi Hobby News.
21. Everyone’s excited about something called Wonfes….. what the heck is that?!
WonFes (short for Wonder Festival) is a biannual figure expo where many figure producers (both large and small) show off new sculpts and updates to figures already under way. Most companies save their most exciting announcements for WonFes, so we all look forward to the expo whenever it rolls around! Winter Wonder Festival is usually held in February, while Summer Wonder Festival is usually in July. The event has also spread to Shanghai, in the late spring.
22. One or two (or 15) figures were announced at WonFes that I’m really excited about! How can I keep track of their progress once the event is over?
MFC is always really quick about getting new WonFes announcements (or any others throughout the year, for that matter) listed in their database, so we suggest using that. To find a figure from the event you can search any number of things, including the name of the character or the name of the show. You can also use the tag search to search “WonderFestival 20xx_[season]” to see all items announced at that event.
2024.05.29 22:15 Elteras Legend with the Unhoppable Overtoad Shaman! Comprehensive Guide to Frog Shaman.
Hey everyone! The current meta isn’t for everyone, but I’m having a ton of fun, and Frog Shaman is a huge reason why. Finding a deck you really click with makes all the difference, and this is the most I’ve enjoyed a deck in a while. This is an aggressive deck with surprising flexibility, and a lot of fun quirks. You might expect the matchups would be a tad pole-arised, but I’ve found this has game into everything, and has been a generally ribbiting play experience for me. If you ever looked at Nature Shaman and thought “this looks cool, but I wish it wasn’t so all-in on combo and could actually fight for the board”, then this is the deck for you. So continue reading and I’ll help you hop to the top of the ladder with this toadally incredible deck.
1. Climb & Stats
Legend, and matchup stats.
A few notes on my climb:
2. Decklist & Game Plan
So, what’s the deal? Well, by an incredible coincidence, this deck happens to make incredible use of four frog-themed cards, and the result is one of my favourite accidental themes of all time. We run Book for lil taunt frogs, we run Shock Hopper, we have Backstage Bouncers, and then we take off with Rocket Hoppers.
This deck gets onto board hard and reliably. We have a wide range of turn 1 plays and powerful turn 2 follow-ups, allowing us to regularly dictate the early turns. We have cards that can function as tempo or burn tools. We’re usually the beatdown deck, but we have the pressure and juice to be able to finish things against the slower Reno decks of the format. We also have enough flexibility and strong swing turns to outpace, outdamage, or answer other premier aggressive decks.
3. Card Choices
Turn 1 & 2 Plays
Murloc Growfin, Pop-Up Book, Shock Hopper, Jam Session, Trusty Companion (TC), Flametongue Totem
These are the cards that win us early board control. We generally hard mulligan for some combo of a 1 and 2 cost card.
2x Murloc Growfin - One of my favourite 1-drops of all time. Not only are they adorable, but the efficiency you get from the card slot is insane. This is an incredibly strong and flexible turn 1 play that can be good later too due to rush. It also gives us a card that later in the game is very powerful at both answering big threats and establishing them.
2x Pop-Up Book - Wait, why is this in the Turn 1 & 2 plays section? Because although this is one of the most flexible cards in the deck, what really makes it sing is that this can summon 2 bodies on turn 1. 2 bodies make it and Growfin the best lead-ins to a turn 2 Flametongue. It’s also paired with Growfin as our only ways to get bodies for 1 mana and trade in the same turn, making it often the best turn-1 play on the coin. And it’s just overall such a multi-purpose card; burn, bodies, taunts, this book has all the thrills.
2x Shock Hopper - I love this guy. There are currently 13 cards it can generate for you, and every single one can be useful. I’m always excited to play this card because it’s high variance but consistently positive. The overload pool right now is very good! Having another resource-neutral T1 play is nice, given we don’t run a ton of draw. Speaking of, we’re gonna discuss tribes more when we get to Trusty Companion, but the Elemental/Beast dual-tribe is nice too.
2x Jam Session - You stuck something on turn 1, and now it’s time for that minion to start jamming. This is one of the most important cards in the deck because A, it’s the most powerful upfront turn 2 buff we have, and B, it’s our only cheap source of AoE damage. This will massively affect how you play this. For example, versus a Mage or Warlock, the 1-damage AoE is unlikely to be that relevant, so this is almost entirely for the stats. Against Hunter and Paladin, the AoE can be extremely relevant, so there can be value in holding it or timing it into a turn which includes multiple 1-hp minions.
It does have the occasional drawback of hitting our own stuff, but don’t get distracted by this. T1 Book or Growfin into T2 Session is a perfectly valid line, even if you destroy one of your own bodies. It’s also worth noting that this can be a bigger AoE with spellpower totem and/or Zapper. The complexity of sequencing and targeting with this card can be surprisingly high at times, especially with Conductivity or when you have to consider how it affects your own board and the possible answers your opponent could have.
Also consider that if choosing between this and TC for turn 2, Session is usually better on turn 2, because the overload curves perfectly into a turn 3 TC, with no overload on turn 4 where we want to play Bouncer or Pozzik.
2x Trusty Companion (TC) - So this is giga-cracked Hand of A’dal. It’s a +2/+3 buff, and on almost every target it draws, with predictable outcomes.
We run 2 copies of a single Naga (Flowrider) and Murloc (Growfin) so you have 100% draw predictability when using TC on either of those. 2 copies of Flametongue Totem means TC can draw when used on a hero power. Shock Hopper being elemental means you can TC a TtT token. And of course all our Frogs are Beasts, so they draw each other.
The only 1-drop we play which this isn’t a great follow-up to is Zapper. And sometimes, you do just have to take TC as a +2/+3 buff without the draw.
2x Flametongue Totem - This is sort of the third place T2 follow-up behind Session/TC, because it works best with only Book and Growfin. It might not justify the spot in the deck if not for the consistency boost to TC, but it isn’t bad. Remember to be careful about positioning - if you play this between two frogs/Growfins, you generally want to trade the right-hand one first, because hero powers/TtT tokens will summon to the right.
EDIT: Something awesome I totally forgot. Always play Growfin to the left of Flametongue. Growfin will be considered a 3/1 (due to being buffed by Flametongue) as it summons a token. The token will therefore natively be a 3/1, and will get further buffed to 5/1.
Spells & Face Damage
Flowrider, Lightning Bolt, Novice Zapper, Overdraft, Turn the Tides (TtT).
These are a flexible set of cards which can generally be either burn or some sort of combo finish, or strong tempo tools. There’s some overlap between this and the last section - Flowrider and Zapper are potential turn 1 plays/keeps, and Book/Session can be used more as burn/clear spells, especially with Zapper.
2x Flowrider - Solid workhorse. We spend a lot of time overloaded, and we run 8 spells which usually means there’ll be high reliability of finding damage by the late game. So it works as a combo piece, but also a general mana-filler that gives a body and cycles, and even as a turn 1 play. Don’t worry about losing the discover if it means you get a turn 1 body, especially as it works with both TC and Session.
2x Lightning Bolt - Lightning Bolt is Lightning Bolt. Direct face or boardwards as appropriate. If you’re against a deck that’s going to constantly be responding to your stats without developing its own as often (Reno WarPriest, primarily), you more often want to save your burn tools for a combo finish and push through with stats as much as you can. Against decks that run out of resources and will struggle to regain initiative once they lose it, you can feel much better about using Bolt (or TtT) purely for board control. Do be aware though that in some of these matchups you can race.
2x Novice Zapper - Zappy does zappy things. Of all the 1-drops in this deck, this is the one you’ll least often play T1 and most often want to mull due to the overload and that it doesn’t work with TC. If on coin however, T1 Zappy into T2 Coin+Session can be a good line. Other than that it’s flexible though. Sometimes you save for a combo, sometimes you jam it for pressure, sometimes it helps you hit removal breakpoints or juice up a Session to be an actual board clear.
2x Overdraft - This card feels so great in this deck, and fits the general vibe of flexibility. One of the most important things about this deck is turn planning and making the right sequencing decisions regarding overload so as to not interrupt important turns (T4 Bouncer or Pozzik, T5 Hopper or Jive, T6 Golganneth, or T8 Giant Growfin). Overdraft greases the wheels very nicely. You can use it at the end of a turn to clear all your overload for your next turn play, or the turn afterwards (which is double funny if your opponent planned around you having no mana).
Of course, it doesn’t just unlock those crystals, it does damage too. T5 Hopper into T6 Overdraft represents an insane amount of damage if they don’t deal with the Hopper. Also, when calculating your Overdraft damage, keep in mind that a Zapper will give it +2 damage, 1 from the +1 spell damage and 1 from the overload.
Trading Overdraft is something you’ll often want to do, especially if you have both spare mana and nothing particularly good for your next turn. Generally the situations that I don’t trade it are when I’m either beginning to put together a combo, know I’ll need to remove things with overload tools going into an important turn, or when I have Rocket Hopper.
2x Turn the Tides (TtT) - This card doesn’t really do much specific, and if you wanted to try other cards, this is a cut that doesn’t really impact the rest of the deck. But it is good! We really need to keep board control in some matchups, and this lets us swing at 2 things, while also providing burn damage/rush to get through taunt later.
The Rest of Em
Conductivity, Backstage Bouncer, Pozzik, JIVE INSECT, Rocket Hopper, Golganneth
Our bigger bois, funky cards, and legendaries. This is the top-end of our curve aside from Giant Growfins.
1x Conductivity - Conductivity is really fun and really flexible. A bit too situational to be worth running 2 and it’s another good candidate to replace if you want to try something else, but I love it. You can use it with Book to make a wall of taunt frogs. You can use it with TC or Session for lots of buffs and multiple draws or lots of AoE damage - though you gotta be careful here because if, say, your right-hand Conductivity/Session target has 1 or 2 HP, it dies before it receives the buff (EDIT: apparently that's not true and I'm just dumb). You can use it with Jive Insect too - either to make multiple Raggies (you can get 2 on an empty board on T8 with Book/Growfin + Conductivity & Jive), or to transform opposing taunts to get your final damage through.
Another really important thing to keep in mind is how it interacts with Overload, particularly Lightning Bolt and Jam Session. It’ll overload you as many times as there are targets, which sometimes means this is a non-viable or last-ditch combo that can ruin your next turn (this is why Book/TC, as non-overload spells, are often better with Conductivity), but this can sometimes be turned into a really strong positive because extra overloads are more juice for your Overdraft. Getting +9 attack and +3 Overdraft damage can be a pretty powerful and surprising way to get the damage you need.
2x Backstage Bouncer - I enjoy saying the name of this card. Also looking at it. Also playing it! Given that this deck tries so hard to have early board control and spare bodies (be they frogs, totems, or 1/1 growfins), this is a very consistent source of stats and one that lines up well into a lot of things. If you have the coin, you can often get this out on turn 3 which is a lot to handle. This is our pond now.
1x Pozzik, Audio Engineer - Pozzik, alongside Bouncer, makes our package of powerful T4 plays that need a response and also don’t overload you going into your strong T5 plays. Pozzik is as Pozzik does - he’s really annoying because either he’s great stats and pressure for the cost, or your opponent has to play really suboptimally. Remember, if your opponent plays the bots you gave them, that’s good for you. Boards are easier to control and games are easier to win when your opponent spends 3 mana on a 3/3.
1x JIVE, INSECT! - For when you’re feelin’ the timin’ for some jivin’. You regularly have small bodies to target, and though this card is very hard to use into some matchups where there’ll be lots of small bodies soaking fireballs, in other matchups it can be incredible. It’s often my favourite T6 play alongside Overdraft following a T5 Rocket Hopper if I have an appropriate body. Can also remove a huge unkilliax or other taunt body. That all said, if you’re playing on a strict budget, this is probably the best legendary in the list to cut.
2x Rocket Hopper - Our largest and froggiest friend. Happy things happen in my brain when I play Rocket Hopper + Overdraft. This is stats, and a lot of em. Especially if your opponent has been on the back foot or lost control of board, they can really struggle to deal with this. This can clear huge bodies while leaving one behind for you, and it also gives Overdraft a lot of juice. If Hopper survives, chances are your opponent’s gonna croak.
The other side of that pairing is that both cards become a lot less good when they aren’t being paired. Overdraft is acceptable due to our other synergies and tradeable, but actually dealing with Hoppers huge overload bill can be game-losing. If you do have Hopper but not Overdraft, I’d often recommend trying to set it up as the last of your planned plays, with the idea that it’s played in a way that simply ends the game if they don’t answer it. This also, conveniently, gives you more time to topdeck Overdraft (or a Flowrider to discover one).
1x Golganneth, the Thunderer - By now you probably know that this guy does a lot. You actually have bodies with large health pools that can gain value from his heal, and it’s both the only lifegain we have and the best offensive AoE in the deck. We also have 6 overloads to draw, so we’re always gonna have targets, and often be able to get a high % chance of drawing specific things. Loses a little value sometimes when coined out because you don’t get the spell discount, but can be worth it anyway.
4. Mulligan
The guiding principle is very easy - you need a turn 1 play, you need a turn 2 follow-up. If you have one of those things, you can full mull for the other. If you have both (and this is surprisingly likely) you can start to be more contextual, but generally you want either more copies of Session/TC, or your powerful midgame plays like Bouncer, Pozzik, or Golganneth. We have a wide variety of acceptable keeps and finds, and it’s also pretty nice that two of our best 1-drops (Hopper & Growfin) give you both an early body, and value/something to play towards.
Things get a lot more interesting when we’re on the coin. Our options massively expand, because A, we have 4 cards to play with which makes it near guaranteed that we start with either a T1 or a T2 play, and likely to already have the other. Especially if you full mull, you're near guaranteed to have something decent to play. Being on the coin also opens a lot of lines - T1 Zapper into T2 Session is only possible on the coin, as is T3 Bouncer or Pozzik. Another note is that Book is much better on the coin than on the play. On the play, T1 Book goes face, which is fine, but kinda eh. T1 Book on the coin though can sometimes answer their development, and even if it doesn’t it will often leave a body on the board for T2.
5. Matchups
This won’t be exhaustive because some MUs I saw too rarely. Also, variance is real, especially in under 50 game sample sizes like mine, so I may have gotten a mistaken impression of some.
All the Reno decks - Good news, if you haven’t won by turn 9 you’re either going to with damage on hand or, more likely, you lost already. So you won’t see him much. Reno decks are everywhere though, and generally this is a matter of playing smartly for tempo while hoping they don’t have the right answers. We can go for a while with our top-end, and I have decently often pulled back games I thought were sure losses, but these tended to be my least favourite matchups.
Hunter - Mostly saw Secret Hunters. This MU is same as ever, get a deck tracker or a picture, learn and then keep track of the secrets, and over-think the correct order in which to test them, trigger them, etc. It’s a great big faff but the good news is that it works, and once you have the hang of it, it’s perfectly winnable because we have good answers to a lot of their stuff and we can often outrace.
Mage - Went 5-0 in kept stats and I believe 1-1 or 1-2 before that. Feels like a bit of a coinflip MU based on whether or not they drew Malfunction and whether or not their answers line up into your threats. Usually went my way though - they don’t contest board so much as they answer it, and we do have a lot of stats and a lot of burn. This felt like one MU that I absolutely could not outrace though unless I got stuff to stick.
Paladin - Saw more before I started keeping stats.
Flood: Tough MU, particularly because you have to play it differently than almost any other. As opposed to usual, you’re not the beatdown deck, and you have to play like it. You have to stay ahead on board, you have to be fastidious about clearing things until you can turn the corner, and you have to make sure your things line up well into their plays, which should be doable because Pala is quite predictable atm. If you stay ahead, you win - if you play it right, you usually have more and better resources than they do. Jam Session is very important for this.
Handbuff: This one is tougher. They scale very hard, can answer your things well, and also have a lot of healing. It’s not a great time. Good news is that this deck signals itself very early a lot of the time so you can instantly flip a switch and go pure rush. You win when you stay ahead and make them use their stuff inefficiently. Their early plays usually ain’t all that so it is possible.
Priest - Like Paladin, this is another one that you play very differently based on who your opponent is. Let’s assume it’s Reno atm because it’s always Reno. You hope they don’t have the right answers, you pressure like crazy, and you try and push it through before they turn the corner.
If it’s Zarimi, it’s not dissimilar from Flood Pala. Control the board, limit their options, be smart about when to pivot from board to face. They are very direct, stat-based, and predictable in certain ways, and we’re better at this than they are unless they get some nutty Drifter play or get ahead of you early.
Rogue - Just smorc these guys, what’re they gonna do, excavate at you? Play a Gaslight Gatekeeper on turn 4? Kill them in the face.
Shaman - I saw Reno and Nature. The Nature game was hilariously one-sided because he simply could not respond to what I was doing efficiently enough. Even if he had managed to stop me from powering through, he’d have used so many of his crucial tools to do it that he’d have struggled to win.
Reno was Reno. I played good cards, he didn’t have the responses he needed, and despite an early Hollidae I was killing him before his staff could summon a 4/4.
Warlock - Now this is fun. Warlock can do some crazy bullshit so sometimes you just get blown out by a Painlock or Pop’gar Crescendo’ed or something, but we generally have a very good time. We’re good at getting board, and given how much we can pull out from hand, their self-damage can be a real problem for them. Also, Pop’gar can do big things, but if you have a Rocket Hopper, Golganneth, or Giant Growfin to answer it with, that lines up real nicely and they often don’t have a ton left in the tank. Even TtT clears it and leaves something on board.
Warrior - See Reno section above. Keep their removal toolkit in mind, and if you don’t see an early forged Bellowing Flames you might be able to stick a board. Remember Bladestorm, don’t overcommit into a Brawl, and play to your outs by making decisions based on optimistic assumptions.
Odyn Warr is kinda exactly the same general principles except they’re running an actual deck. One with a lot of armor too, so once again your only hope is for your aggression to line up well into their draws and make sure you don’t fall into obvious traps.
A few closing remarks.
I don’t actually know how good this deck is. Maybe I’m just really lucky and blinded by how fun it is for me, and I’m a real sucker for Shaman chicanery. But I hope enough of you enjoy it that we can get some real data and maybe leapfrog over some decks in the next report.
Plan your turns. Can’t stress enough. If you just play one turn at a time this deck will be garbage for you because you won’t be able to play your good cards when you want. Try to have a plan for 1, 2, even 3 turns ahead if you can, and be careful with calculating your damage totals and use of Overdraft
Pay attention to when you pivot. We have a lot of damage we can muster, so even in MUs where you’re playing more defensively, you always need to ask yourself if it isn’t just smarter to go face and rush them down. If their stuff doesn’t trade well into your board, pressure their life total and make them trade into you.
If you want to try other cards, feel free! I’ve seen various lists with more of a top-end or other substitutions. TtT, Flametongue, Jive, and Conductivity all strike me as replaceable.
And of course, have fun!
submitted by Elteras to CompetitiveHS [link] [comments]
Legend, and matchup stats.
A few notes on my climb:
- I started playing this deck while on holiday, so I was away from my regular PC and did not keep stats from D5-D3, though I did it without much trouble and with a worse list. The pictured stats are from D3-Legend.
- Most of this climb was done over a week after the miniset launched, meaning the meta was a bit more refined.
- On the other hand, most of the climb was in the last week of the month, meaning that my stats may be a little lily-padded.
Frog Shaman
Class: Shaman
Format: Standard
Year of the Pegasus
2x (1) Flowrider
2x (1) Lightning Bolt
2x (1) Murloc Growfin
2x (1) Novice Zapper
2x (1) Overdraft
2x (1) Pop-Up Book
2x (1) Shock Hopper
1x (2) Conductivity
2x (2) Flametongue Totem
2x (2) Jam Session
2x (2) Trusty Companion
2x (3) Turn the Tides
2x (4) Backstage Bouncer
1x (4) Pozzik, Audio Engineer
1x (5) JIVE, INSECT!
2x (5) Rocket Hopper
1x (6) Golganneth, the Thunderer
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Those who have read Sun Tzu’s The Art of War may remember the quote "the only thing better than some cute lil froggy fellas is one huge-ass froggy fella with two giant fuck-off rockets strapped to its back". Wise man.So, what’s the deal? Well, by an incredible coincidence, this deck happens to make incredible use of four frog-themed cards, and the result is one of my favourite accidental themes of all time. We run Book for lil taunt frogs, we run Shock Hopper, we have Backstage Bouncers, and then we take off with Rocket Hoppers.
This deck gets onto board hard and reliably. We have a wide range of turn 1 plays and powerful turn 2 follow-ups, allowing us to regularly dictate the early turns. We have cards that can function as tempo or burn tools. We’re usually the beatdown deck, but we have the pressure and juice to be able to finish things against the slower Reno decks of the format. We also have enough flexibility and strong swing turns to outpace, outdamage, or answer other premier aggressive decks.
Turn 1 & 2 Plays
Murloc Growfin, Pop-Up Book, Shock Hopper, Jam Session, Trusty Companion (TC), Flametongue Totem
These are the cards that win us early board control. We generally hard mulligan for some combo of a 1 and 2 cost card.
2x Murloc Growfin - One of my favourite 1-drops of all time. Not only are they adorable, but the efficiency you get from the card slot is insane. This is an incredibly strong and flexible turn 1 play that can be good later too due to rush. It also gives us a card that later in the game is very powerful at both answering big threats and establishing them.
2x Pop-Up Book - Wait, why is this in the Turn 1 & 2 plays section? Because although this is one of the most flexible cards in the deck, what really makes it sing is that this can summon 2 bodies on turn 1. 2 bodies make it and Growfin the best lead-ins to a turn 2 Flametongue. It’s also paired with Growfin as our only ways to get bodies for 1 mana and trade in the same turn, making it often the best turn-1 play on the coin. And it’s just overall such a multi-purpose card; burn, bodies, taunts, this book has all the thrills.
2x Shock Hopper - I love this guy. There are currently 13 cards it can generate for you, and every single one can be useful. I’m always excited to play this card because it’s high variance but consistently positive. The overload pool right now is very good! Having another resource-neutral T1 play is nice, given we don’t run a ton of draw. Speaking of, we’re gonna discuss tribes more when we get to Trusty Companion, but the Elemental/Beast dual-tribe is nice too.
2x Jam Session - You stuck something on turn 1, and now it’s time for that minion to start jamming. This is one of the most important cards in the deck because A, it’s the most powerful upfront turn 2 buff we have, and B, it’s our only cheap source of AoE damage. This will massively affect how you play this. For example, versus a Mage or Warlock, the 1-damage AoE is unlikely to be that relevant, so this is almost entirely for the stats. Against Hunter and Paladin, the AoE can be extremely relevant, so there can be value in holding it or timing it into a turn which includes multiple 1-hp minions.
It does have the occasional drawback of hitting our own stuff, but don’t get distracted by this. T1 Book or Growfin into T2 Session is a perfectly valid line, even if you destroy one of your own bodies. It’s also worth noting that this can be a bigger AoE with spellpower totem and/or Zapper. The complexity of sequencing and targeting with this card can be surprisingly high at times, especially with Conductivity or when you have to consider how it affects your own board and the possible answers your opponent could have.
Also consider that if choosing between this and TC for turn 2, Session is usually better on turn 2, because the overload curves perfectly into a turn 3 TC, with no overload on turn 4 where we want to play Bouncer or Pozzik.
2x Trusty Companion (TC) - So this is giga-cracked Hand of A’dal. It’s a +2/+3 buff, and on almost every target it draws, with predictable outcomes.
We run 2 copies of a single Naga (Flowrider) and Murloc (Growfin) so you have 100% draw predictability when using TC on either of those. 2 copies of Flametongue Totem means TC can draw when used on a hero power. Shock Hopper being elemental means you can TC a TtT token. And of course all our Frogs are Beasts, so they draw each other.
The only 1-drop we play which this isn’t a great follow-up to is Zapper. And sometimes, you do just have to take TC as a +2/+3 buff without the draw.
2x Flametongue Totem - This is sort of the third place T2 follow-up behind Session/TC, because it works best with only Book and Growfin. It might not justify the spot in the deck if not for the consistency boost to TC, but it isn’t bad. Remember to be careful about positioning - if you play this between two frogs/Growfins, you generally want to trade the right-hand one first, because hero powers/TtT tokens will summon to the right.
EDIT: Something awesome I totally forgot. Always play Growfin to the left of Flametongue. Growfin will be considered a 3/1 (due to being buffed by Flametongue) as it summons a token. The token will therefore natively be a 3/1, and will get further buffed to 5/1.
Spells & Face Damage
Flowrider, Lightning Bolt, Novice Zapper, Overdraft, Turn the Tides (TtT).
These are a flexible set of cards which can generally be either burn or some sort of combo finish, or strong tempo tools. There’s some overlap between this and the last section - Flowrider and Zapper are potential turn 1 plays/keeps, and Book/Session can be used more as burn/clear spells, especially with Zapper.
2x Flowrider - Solid workhorse. We spend a lot of time overloaded, and we run 8 spells which usually means there’ll be high reliability of finding damage by the late game. So it works as a combo piece, but also a general mana-filler that gives a body and cycles, and even as a turn 1 play. Don’t worry about losing the discover if it means you get a turn 1 body, especially as it works with both TC and Session.
2x Lightning Bolt - Lightning Bolt is Lightning Bolt. Direct face or boardwards as appropriate. If you’re against a deck that’s going to constantly be responding to your stats without developing its own as often (Reno WarPriest, primarily), you more often want to save your burn tools for a combo finish and push through with stats as much as you can. Against decks that run out of resources and will struggle to regain initiative once they lose it, you can feel much better about using Bolt (or TtT) purely for board control. Do be aware though that in some of these matchups you can race.
2x Novice Zapper - Zappy does zappy things. Of all the 1-drops in this deck, this is the one you’ll least often play T1 and most often want to mull due to the overload and that it doesn’t work with TC. If on coin however, T1 Zappy into T2 Coin+Session can be a good line. Other than that it’s flexible though. Sometimes you save for a combo, sometimes you jam it for pressure, sometimes it helps you hit removal breakpoints or juice up a Session to be an actual board clear.
2x Overdraft - This card feels so great in this deck, and fits the general vibe of flexibility. One of the most important things about this deck is turn planning and making the right sequencing decisions regarding overload so as to not interrupt important turns (T4 Bouncer or Pozzik, T5 Hopper or Jive, T6 Golganneth, or T8 Giant Growfin). Overdraft greases the wheels very nicely. You can use it at the end of a turn to clear all your overload for your next turn play, or the turn afterwards (which is double funny if your opponent planned around you having no mana).
Of course, it doesn’t just unlock those crystals, it does damage too. T5 Hopper into T6 Overdraft represents an insane amount of damage if they don’t deal with the Hopper. Also, when calculating your Overdraft damage, keep in mind that a Zapper will give it +2 damage, 1 from the +1 spell damage and 1 from the overload.
Trading Overdraft is something you’ll often want to do, especially if you have both spare mana and nothing particularly good for your next turn. Generally the situations that I don’t trade it are when I’m either beginning to put together a combo, know I’ll need to remove things with overload tools going into an important turn, or when I have Rocket Hopper.
2x Turn the Tides (TtT) - This card doesn’t really do much specific, and if you wanted to try other cards, this is a cut that doesn’t really impact the rest of the deck. But it is good! We really need to keep board control in some matchups, and this lets us swing at 2 things, while also providing burn damage/rush to get through taunt later.
The Rest of Em
Conductivity, Backstage Bouncer, Pozzik, JIVE INSECT, Rocket Hopper, Golganneth
Our bigger bois, funky cards, and legendaries. This is the top-end of our curve aside from Giant Growfins.
1x Conductivity - Conductivity is really fun and really flexible. A bit too situational to be worth running 2 and it’s another good candidate to replace if you want to try something else, but I love it. You can use it with Book to make a wall of taunt frogs. You can use it with TC or Session for lots of buffs and multiple draws or lots of AoE damage - though you gotta be careful here because if, say, your right-hand Conductivity/Session target has 1 or 2 HP, it dies before it receives the buff (EDIT: apparently that's not true and I'm just dumb). You can use it with Jive Insect too - either to make multiple Raggies (you can get 2 on an empty board on T8 with Book/Growfin + Conductivity & Jive), or to transform opposing taunts to get your final damage through.
Another really important thing to keep in mind is how it interacts with Overload, particularly Lightning Bolt and Jam Session. It’ll overload you as many times as there are targets, which sometimes means this is a non-viable or last-ditch combo that can ruin your next turn (this is why Book/TC, as non-overload spells, are often better with Conductivity), but this can sometimes be turned into a really strong positive because extra overloads are more juice for your Overdraft. Getting +9 attack and +3 Overdraft damage can be a pretty powerful and surprising way to get the damage you need.
2x Backstage Bouncer - I enjoy saying the name of this card. Also looking at it. Also playing it! Given that this deck tries so hard to have early board control and spare bodies (be they frogs, totems, or 1/1 growfins), this is a very consistent source of stats and one that lines up well into a lot of things. If you have the coin, you can often get this out on turn 3 which is a lot to handle. This is our pond now.
1x Pozzik, Audio Engineer - Pozzik, alongside Bouncer, makes our package of powerful T4 plays that need a response and also don’t overload you going into your strong T5 plays. Pozzik is as Pozzik does - he’s really annoying because either he’s great stats and pressure for the cost, or your opponent has to play really suboptimally. Remember, if your opponent plays the bots you gave them, that’s good for you. Boards are easier to control and games are easier to win when your opponent spends 3 mana on a 3/3.
1x JIVE, INSECT! - For when you’re feelin’ the timin’ for some jivin’. You regularly have small bodies to target, and though this card is very hard to use into some matchups where there’ll be lots of small bodies soaking fireballs, in other matchups it can be incredible. It’s often my favourite T6 play alongside Overdraft following a T5 Rocket Hopper if I have an appropriate body. Can also remove a huge unkilliax or other taunt body. That all said, if you’re playing on a strict budget, this is probably the best legendary in the list to cut.
2x Rocket Hopper - Our largest and froggiest friend. Happy things happen in my brain when I play Rocket Hopper + Overdraft. This is stats, and a lot of em. Especially if your opponent has been on the back foot or lost control of board, they can really struggle to deal with this. This can clear huge bodies while leaving one behind for you, and it also gives Overdraft a lot of juice. If Hopper survives, chances are your opponent’s gonna croak.
The other side of that pairing is that both cards become a lot less good when they aren’t being paired. Overdraft is acceptable due to our other synergies and tradeable, but actually dealing with Hoppers huge overload bill can be game-losing. If you do have Hopper but not Overdraft, I’d often recommend trying to set it up as the last of your planned plays, with the idea that it’s played in a way that simply ends the game if they don’t answer it. This also, conveniently, gives you more time to topdeck Overdraft (or a Flowrider to discover one).
1x Golganneth, the Thunderer - By now you probably know that this guy does a lot. You actually have bodies with large health pools that can gain value from his heal, and it’s both the only lifegain we have and the best offensive AoE in the deck. We also have 6 overloads to draw, so we’re always gonna have targets, and often be able to get a high % chance of drawing specific things. Loses a little value sometimes when coined out because you don’t get the spell discount, but can be worth it anyway.
The guiding principle is very easy - you need a turn 1 play, you need a turn 2 follow-up. If you have one of those things, you can full mull for the other. If you have both (and this is surprisingly likely) you can start to be more contextual, but generally you want either more copies of Session/TC, or your powerful midgame plays like Bouncer, Pozzik, or Golganneth. We have a wide variety of acceptable keeps and finds, and it’s also pretty nice that two of our best 1-drops (Hopper & Growfin) give you both an early body, and value/something to play towards.
Things get a lot more interesting when we’re on the coin. Our options massively expand, because A, we have 4 cards to play with which makes it near guaranteed that we start with either a T1 or a T2 play, and likely to already have the other. Especially if you full mull, you're near guaranteed to have something decent to play. Being on the coin also opens a lot of lines - T1 Zapper into T2 Session is only possible on the coin, as is T3 Bouncer or Pozzik. Another note is that Book is much better on the coin than on the play. On the play, T1 Book goes face, which is fine, but kinda eh. T1 Book on the coin though can sometimes answer their development, and even if it doesn’t it will often leave a body on the board for T2.
This won’t be exhaustive because some MUs I saw too rarely. Also, variance is real, especially in under 50 game sample sizes like mine, so I may have gotten a mistaken impression of some.
All the Reno decks - Good news, if you haven’t won by turn 9 you’re either going to with damage on hand or, more likely, you lost already. So you won’t see him much. Reno decks are everywhere though, and generally this is a matter of playing smartly for tempo while hoping they don’t have the right answers. We can go for a while with our top-end, and I have decently often pulled back games I thought were sure losses, but these tended to be my least favourite matchups.
Hunter - Mostly saw Secret Hunters. This MU is same as ever, get a deck tracker or a picture, learn and then keep track of the secrets, and over-think the correct order in which to test them, trigger them, etc. It’s a great big faff but the good news is that it works, and once you have the hang of it, it’s perfectly winnable because we have good answers to a lot of their stuff and we can often outrace.
Mage - Went 5-0 in kept stats and I believe 1-1 or 1-2 before that. Feels like a bit of a coinflip MU based on whether or not they drew Malfunction and whether or not their answers line up into your threats. Usually went my way though - they don’t contest board so much as they answer it, and we do have a lot of stats and a lot of burn. This felt like one MU that I absolutely could not outrace though unless I got stuff to stick.
Paladin - Saw more before I started keeping stats.
Flood: Tough MU, particularly because you have to play it differently than almost any other. As opposed to usual, you’re not the beatdown deck, and you have to play like it. You have to stay ahead on board, you have to be fastidious about clearing things until you can turn the corner, and you have to make sure your things line up well into their plays, which should be doable because Pala is quite predictable atm. If you stay ahead, you win - if you play it right, you usually have more and better resources than they do. Jam Session is very important for this.
Handbuff: This one is tougher. They scale very hard, can answer your things well, and also have a lot of healing. It’s not a great time. Good news is that this deck signals itself very early a lot of the time so you can instantly flip a switch and go pure rush. You win when you stay ahead and make them use their stuff inefficiently. Their early plays usually ain’t all that so it is possible.
Priest - Like Paladin, this is another one that you play very differently based on who your opponent is. Let’s assume it’s Reno atm because it’s always Reno. You hope they don’t have the right answers, you pressure like crazy, and you try and push it through before they turn the corner.
If it’s Zarimi, it’s not dissimilar from Flood Pala. Control the board, limit their options, be smart about when to pivot from board to face. They are very direct, stat-based, and predictable in certain ways, and we’re better at this than they are unless they get some nutty Drifter play or get ahead of you early.
Rogue - Just smorc these guys, what’re they gonna do, excavate at you? Play a Gaslight Gatekeeper on turn 4? Kill them in the face.
Shaman - I saw Reno and Nature. The Nature game was hilariously one-sided because he simply could not respond to what I was doing efficiently enough. Even if he had managed to stop me from powering through, he’d have used so many of his crucial tools to do it that he’d have struggled to win.
Reno was Reno. I played good cards, he didn’t have the responses he needed, and despite an early Hollidae I was killing him before his staff could summon a 4/4.
Warlock - Now this is fun. Warlock can do some crazy bullshit so sometimes you just get blown out by a Painlock or Pop’gar Crescendo’ed or something, but we generally have a very good time. We’re good at getting board, and given how much we can pull out from hand, their self-damage can be a real problem for them. Also, Pop’gar can do big things, but if you have a Rocket Hopper, Golganneth, or Giant Growfin to answer it with, that lines up real nicely and they often don’t have a ton left in the tank. Even TtT clears it and leaves something on board.
Warrior - See Reno section above. Keep their removal toolkit in mind, and if you don’t see an early forged Bellowing Flames you might be able to stick a board. Remember Bladestorm, don’t overcommit into a Brawl, and play to your outs by making decisions based on optimistic assumptions.
Odyn Warr is kinda exactly the same general principles except they’re running an actual deck. One with a lot of armor too, so once again your only hope is for your aggression to line up well into their draws and make sure you don’t fall into obvious traps.
I don’t actually know how good this deck is. Maybe I’m just really lucky and blinded by how fun it is for me, and I’m a real sucker for Shaman chicanery. But I hope enough of you enjoy it that we can get some real data and maybe leapfrog over some decks in the next report.
Plan your turns. Can’t stress enough. If you just play one turn at a time this deck will be garbage for you because you won’t be able to play your good cards when you want. Try to have a plan for 1, 2, even 3 turns ahead if you can, and be careful with calculating your damage totals and use of Overdraft
Pay attention to when you pivot. We have a lot of damage we can muster, so even in MUs where you’re playing more defensively, you always need to ask yourself if it isn’t just smarter to go face and rush them down. If their stuff doesn’t trade well into your board, pressure their life total and make them trade into you.
If you want to try other cards, feel free! I’ve seen various lists with more of a top-end or other substitutions. TtT, Flametongue, Jive, and Conductivity all strike me as replaceable.
And of course, have fun!
2024.05.29 14:32 Picklee_Rick_C-137 As a closeted ex-muslim are there any subtle signs you show to people as a futile attempt at engaging with like minded people IRL
This may be your social media bio. A random story you put on IG. A slightly liberal view expressed during politicial/religious discourse. Or any other thing.
We all know life as a closeted person can feel sometimes lonely and we all wish we could confide in someone. It's highly likely you tried finding like minded people in your uni or your workplace. Someone who might be an ex Muslim yourself but couldn't show it for obvious reasons. Or someone who might be a Muslim but is really progressive.
For me I had an absurdist quote as my WhatsApp bio for almost two years and also had picture of Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the mountain as my PFP. But no one knew what it was about or maybe they didn't care.
P.S. I'm not a fed. Pinky promise 👀. I just want to know if there are any signs that I can pick on to find someone like minded.
submitted by Picklee_Rick_C-137 to PakiExMuslims [link] [comments]
We all know life as a closeted person can feel sometimes lonely and we all wish we could confide in someone. It's highly likely you tried finding like minded people in your uni or your workplace. Someone who might be an ex Muslim yourself but couldn't show it for obvious reasons. Or someone who might be a Muslim but is really progressive.
For me I had an absurdist quote as my WhatsApp bio for almost two years and also had picture of Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the mountain as my PFP. But no one knew what it was about or maybe they didn't care.
P.S. I'm not a fed. Pinky promise 👀. I just want to know if there are any signs that I can pick on to find someone like minded.
2024.05.29 06:05 Dinosaurnamedbee My Best friends ex is obsessed with me, (and possibly everyone ever.)
I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3
submitted by Dinosaurnamedbee to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3
2024.05.29 02:57 Birdsinthehand Shuhu is in Luocha's Coffin: A theory
I believe that Shuhu, Emanator of Abundance, is not dead and is currently hiding in Luocha's coffin. When the trailblaze missions inevitably return to the Xianzhou, Luocha is going to pop the lid, reveal Shuhu in front of the Xianzhou Marshal and Generals, and everyone will lose their shit.
Ok, so I don't think it's necessarily going to happen like that. But I do believe that there are enough hints in the lore to suggest that Shuhu is going to return as part of the Xianzhou plotline, and that Luocha's sketchy connections to the Abundance may be a part of that.
The Background
Shuhu is an Emanator of Abundance. By all accounts, he is not a good guy. The Disciples of Sanctus Medicus revere him as a direct disciple of Yaoshi, per the Thousand-Handed Merciful Medicus' Salvation readable, he's led numerous battles against the Xianzhou Alliance-not surprising considering the Xianzhou's typical attitude towards the Abundance. The creepiest bit is found in Xueyi and Hanya's backstories.
Hanya Character Story III:
The second major clash between the Xianzhou and Shuhu that I'm going to mention is the one that occurred 700 years with the High Cloud Quintet. Shuhu ostensibly died in that one after Baiheng rammed him with a starskiff and a 'sun of absolute darkness', presumed by many fans to be a Stellaron.
From Dan Heng IL Character Story III:
Ten-Lords Commission Criminal Directory readable:
The last two points are compatible--it's possible that the Ten Lords Commission took Shuhu's remains into custody along with Dan Feng after he committed his crimes. But it's also possible that somehow, Yingxing and Dan Feng stole Shuhu's remains from the Ten Lords Commission, or that they took the remains from the battlefield before the Ten Lords even came into the picture, and the Commission's never had the remains at all.
Regardless, I don't think the Commission has Shuhu's remains right now at all, just because of the wording of that readable. They don't know if Shuhu is actually in the box and are too scared to check? This really seems like foreshadowing to me. It's the perfect setup--they go to check on the box, it's empty, dun dun dun, new plot hook.
At this point, it seems like we're supposed to assume that Shuhu is done and dusted. There are no more significant appearances-the Xianzhou's longtime antagonist has been defeated, killed, and (possibly) imprisoned. So why am I here telling you that Shuhu isn't dead? Well, it's highly likely that killing Shuhu isn't enough to end him.
Xueyi Character Story III, again:
And if Shuhu resurrected himself during the Sedition, he would have ample opportunity to escape. There was a lot going on and people would be distracted with the dragon monster rampage. Or maybe Shuhu was still restrained somehow, or still dead, and couldn't escape, but that Jingliu took his imprisoned remains at around the same time she took Yingxing to turn him into sword practice, and he resurrected later...but she doesn't mention nicking Emanator flesh in the Companion quest. On the other hand, why would she? Either way, Shuhu's location before and after the Sedition is unaccounted for, and there are a variety of ways he could have gotten off the Xianzhou and into a location where he could make a deal with Luocha.
So what reason do we have to believe that Shuhu is in Luocha's coffin? Admittedly, the evidence for this is more tangential and speculative than the evidence for Shuhu not being dead. But there are a couple of hints that could go in this direction. First of all, whatever is in Luocha's coffin is bound to be a major plot point in future Xianzhou quests. It being something related to the dubiously-deceased, potentially uncaptured Emantor of Abundance who happens to be one of the Xianzhou's worst enemies ties it into the broader Xianzhou arc.
Jingliu's Companion Quest:
Every time he's asked about the coffin in the quest, he says some variant of the following:
Pallbearing Merchant, Swordwielding Recruit:
Luocha Character Story III:
What really gets me is his lightcone text:
Whatever's in the coffin can control vines and branches, and Shuhu took the form of a tree in Xueyi and Hanya's memories. It also points to a somewhat antagonistic relationship, despite the mysterious deal.
Look, I have no idea why Luocha, who seems to hold anti-Abundance views despite having Abundance powers and saying things like, "The dead return" and "It's natural for short-life species to seek immortality", would willingly enter into a deal with an Emanator of Abundance who by all accounts is Yaoshi's #1 fan. But...it doesn't seem out of character. Luocha is a manipulative, sketchy bastard and maybe he thought he could get the better of any deal with Shuhu. Shuhu, if he's imprisoned, would naturally want to be freed, and if he already was free, might want access to the Xianzhou for revenge.
There's also a low outside chance that the Emanator of Abundance turned against Yaoshi the way Luocha seems to have, but this seems unlikely. I'd find it more likely that Luocha is actually on the side of the Abundance and working to secretly undermine poor mara-struck Jingliu, or playing both sides, before that.
All right, let me know what you think. There's just a lot of inconsistency about Shuhu's ultimate fate, and speculating that he's actually in Luocha's coffin because of a ~secret deal~ is just my best guess.
submitted by Birdsinthehand to StarRailLore [link] [comments]
Ok, so I don't think it's necessarily going to happen like that. But I do believe that there are enough hints in the lore to suggest that Shuhu is going to return as part of the Xianzhou plotline, and that Luocha's sketchy connections to the Abundance may be a part of that.
The Background
Shuhu is an Emanator of Abundance. By all accounts, he is not a good guy. The Disciples of Sanctus Medicus revere him as a direct disciple of Yaoshi, per the Thousand-Handed Merciful Medicus' Salvation readable, he's led numerous battles against the Xianzhou Alliance-not surprising considering the Xianzhou's typical attitude towards the Abundance. The creepiest bit is found in Xueyi and Hanya's backstories.
Hanya Character Story III:
A colossal, walking tree approached her amidst the chaos of the battlefield. Extending its myriad branches, it impaled all who stood in its path, including her comrades. As she gripped her fractured sword for a desperate struggle, she suddenly saw a smiling face blossoming upon the tree — a reflection of her sister's face.Xueyi Character Story III:
"It's me, my dear sister. Don't you recognize me?"
The branches and leaves rustled, and the faces of her companions sprouted like fruits from the treetops, emanating raucous laughter. "Do not succumb to death. Do not grow accustomed to it. Embrace me... become a part of me..."
She looked up from the blood and fire of the scorched earth. On the ground lay thousands of familiar but lifeless faces, including that of her sister.So yeah, not a good guy...tree-thing.
But she couldn't find her own face.
"I can save her. I can save all of you. All it takes is a wave of the branch and I can teach flesh to regrow from the mere bones or let petals rise up out of the dust to the flower once more. You know very well I can."
Underneath her, a strange tree with a thousand faces spoke to her, and to everyone. THEY waved THEIR branches, penetrating deep into the earth.
"I am Shuhu. I am eternal. From me, you shall gain true immortality."
The second major clash between the Xianzhou and Shuhu that I'm going to mention is the one that occurred 700 years with the High Cloud Quintet. Shuhu ostensibly died in that one after Baiheng rammed him with a starskiff and a 'sun of absolute darkness', presumed by many fans to be a Stellaron.
From Dan Heng IL Character Story III:
he observed himself turning into a dragon, entangled and fighting claw-and-fangs against that bulb of shapeshifting shadow of flesh and blood. In an illusion seen on the verge of death, the emissary of the god showed him an unsettling, beautiful scene — the stars pulsated and sang hymns like red blood cells, and the universe descended into an abyss of flesh and desires. The dragon heart beat to its limit, raising its fangs, breath, and fury — however, no matter how mighty it was, a "lifeform" cannot defy the true body of god of life's envoy.This same character story has someone-presumably Yingxing/Blade-telling Dan Feng, "Shuhu is dead". According to Jingliu in her Companion quest, Shuhu completely disappeared.
...Until a starskiff ran everything through like an arrow shaft. He saw that girl crawling out of the ruins with great difficulty, lifting a "sun" of absolute darkness in her hand. In that fleeting eternity, he saw her hand disappear, saw her face disappear, and saw HER disappear — That item had ground everything around it into the finest dust and dragged them into a vortex of raw power, including that girl.
Jingliu: ...still, all of that was erased. After Shuhu attacked the borders, he disappeared without a trace. There are no records of his remains, either.but that makes no sense because...
Jingliu: As smart as he was, he made the foolish attempt to use the flesh of the Abundance Emanator to aid Imbibitor Lunae in resurrecting his deceased companion.There was enough left of Shuhu for Dan Feng and Yingxing to presumably take Shuhu's remains and embark upon their ill-fated attempt at resurrecting Baiheng. It's also not true that there's no record of Shuhu's remains: presumably, they're also in the Shackling Prison under the control of the Ten Lords Commission.
Jingliu: His stupidity turned him into a monster, cursed with immortality. His soul was shattered and became the evil that he hated most. The irony...
Ten-Lords Commission Criminal Directory readable:
Remarks: At present, we are unsure if he is the one sealed in the box or not... We will keep the box in the lowest level of the prison for now. It must not be opened unless authorized by the marshal and the Ten Lords altogether.So it seems that in the official records, Shuhu disappeared, in the Ten Lords Commission records, the remains are in the Shackling Prison, but according to Jingliu, were also being used for Dan Feng to commit the Sedition with. That's three separate stories. I smell a cover up. (And given how destabilizing the events of the Sedition were, there's plausible reason for a cover-up.)
The last two points are compatible--it's possible that the Ten Lords Commission took Shuhu's remains into custody along with Dan Feng after he committed his crimes. But it's also possible that somehow, Yingxing and Dan Feng stole Shuhu's remains from the Ten Lords Commission, or that they took the remains from the battlefield before the Ten Lords even came into the picture, and the Commission's never had the remains at all.
Regardless, I don't think the Commission has Shuhu's remains right now at all, just because of the wording of that readable. They don't know if Shuhu is actually in the box and are too scared to check? This really seems like foreshadowing to me. It's the perfect setup--they go to check on the box, it's empty, dun dun dun, new plot hook.
At this point, it seems like we're supposed to assume that Shuhu is done and dusted. There are no more significant appearances-the Xianzhou's longtime antagonist has been defeated, killed, and (possibly) imprisoned. So why am I here telling you that Shuhu isn't dead? Well, it's highly likely that killing Shuhu isn't enough to end him.
Xueyi Character Story III, again:
The branches laughed shrilly, letting each head speak one word on THEIR behalf, stringing together a sentence, "Teng Xiao, what do you plan on using to kill me this time? I'm curious."This quote implies that Shuhu has been killed many times before, but it clearly didn't stick. Shuhu is the emissary of life and can grant immortality. Witness Blade, who has also died many, times, unsuccessfully. And Blade's immortality is somehow derived from Shuhu. His talent is called Shuhu's Gift, he used Shuhu's flesh trying to resurrect Baiheng...it's not unreasonable to assume that the Emanator has even greater powers of regeneration.
And if Shuhu resurrected himself during the Sedition, he would have ample opportunity to escape. There was a lot going on and people would be distracted with the dragon monster rampage. Or maybe Shuhu was still restrained somehow, or still dead, and couldn't escape, but that Jingliu took his imprisoned remains at around the same time she took Yingxing to turn him into sword practice, and he resurrected later...but she doesn't mention nicking Emanator flesh in the Companion quest. On the other hand, why would she? Either way, Shuhu's location before and after the Sedition is unaccounted for, and there are a variety of ways he could have gotten off the Xianzhou and into a location where he could make a deal with Luocha.
So what reason do we have to believe that Shuhu is in Luocha's coffin? Admittedly, the evidence for this is more tangential and speculative than the evidence for Shuhu not being dead. But there are a couple of hints that could go in this direction. First of all, whatever is in Luocha's coffin is bound to be a major plot point in future Xianzhou quests. It being something related to the dubiously-deceased, potentially uncaptured Emantor of Abundance who happens to be one of the Xianzhou's worst enemies ties it into the broader Xianzhou arc.
Jingliu's Companion Quest:
Jing Yuan: Hmph... as I expected. Your surrender is just the next step in your scheme. You wish to avail yourself of the Ten Lords' decree to enter the Xuling and stand before the six generals — even the marshal. That is your true agenda...Second, saying that Luocha is suspicious is like saying water is wet. Everything about the guy is sketchy and vague. He has Abundance related powers, but has teamed up with Jingliu on her quest to ultimately kill the Aeon of Abundance, and we have no idea why. Let's look at some of the coffin mentions.
Jing Yuan: ...and the purpose of the contents of your coffin.
Every time he's asked about the coffin in the quest, he says some variant of the following:
Pallbearing Merchant, Swordwielding Recruit:
Wood Sprouts Anew, Fate Tilts AskewWhat's in that coffin?Luocha: Ah, a story of ill luck. I found myself embroiled in a conflict and ended up owing a favor... Now I must assist in delivering these remains back to the Xianzhou.
Luocha: Haha, miss, whatever gave you that impression? The individual in the coffin is neither friend nor relative — we met only once. By chance, I made someone a promise, and so I have to run this errand.He made a promise with an unknown person to bring these remains to the Xianzhou. But who? Was it Jingliu, his partner in crime? Or was it with whoever's in the coffin?
Luocha: Let's leave it at that, shall we? I think we've all had enough rest.
Luocha Character Story III:
"Tool of my trade... I hope I didn't offend you," Luocha stood in a pavillion in the Exalting Sanctum, murmuring to himself, "But then again, our relationship does count as a business relationship, doesn't it?"Luocha Character Story IV:
The coffin made no sound. It did not protest and had no right to protest. "When you keep silent, you are free."...He has a business relationship with whoever's in the coffin, pointing to a deal. Potentially promising an imprisoned Shuhu freedom?
"Go to the Xianzhou," the one who gave him the coffin said, "Don't forget your promise." "Never."
What really gets me is his lightcone text:
Under the watch of the white irises, he knocks on the coffin. "Sometimes I feel I underestimated you by proposing this deal." He receives no response other than a thorny branch piercing through his palm. Yet he smiles, and tightly grasps the thorn."Indeed. This is how it is. We wanted to use each other, and both ended up underestimating the other."
Whatever's in the coffin can control vines and branches, and Shuhu took the form of a tree in Xueyi and Hanya's memories. It also points to a somewhat antagonistic relationship, despite the mysterious deal.
Look, I have no idea why Luocha, who seems to hold anti-Abundance views despite having Abundance powers and saying things like, "The dead return" and "It's natural for short-life species to seek immortality", would willingly enter into a deal with an Emanator of Abundance who by all accounts is Yaoshi's #1 fan. But...it doesn't seem out of character. Luocha is a manipulative, sketchy bastard and maybe he thought he could get the better of any deal with Shuhu. Shuhu, if he's imprisoned, would naturally want to be freed, and if he already was free, might want access to the Xianzhou for revenge.
There's also a low outside chance that the Emanator of Abundance turned against Yaoshi the way Luocha seems to have, but this seems unlikely. I'd find it more likely that Luocha is actually on the side of the Abundance and working to secretly undermine poor mara-struck Jingliu, or playing both sides, before that.
All right, let me know what you think. There's just a lot of inconsistency about Shuhu's ultimate fate, and speculating that he's actually in Luocha's coffin because of a ~secret deal~ is just my best guess.
2024.05.29 02:27 Mrmander20 [Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms] 4 C8.1: The Doomsday Dad
At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
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The last few notes of a Roxy Rocket song echoed through Vell’s dorm, and while scrappy and dissonant, they were at least coherent. An improvement from early lessons, especially.
“Well, that didn’t hurt to listen to,” Skye said. “You’re making progress.”
“You have such a way with words,” Vell said.
“Okay, fine,” Skye said. “You’re actually making good progress for a guy who only finds time to practice every couple weeks.”
The ever-encroaching responsibilities of being a senior, the leader of the loopers, and the focus of a godly game of fate had whittled Vell’s free time down to almost nothing. The occasional guitar lessons were some of his only islands amid the storm, and a welcome excuse to spend more time with Skye.
“You want to try a few more chords?”
“My hands are starting to hurt, actually,” Vell said. He pulled away from the guitar strings and shook tense fingers loose, revealing fingertips rubbed red and raw by practice. Skye stepped forward and took him by the wrist to examine his hands.
“I do not understand how a guy like you doesn’t have thicker skin,” Skye said. “Weren’t you an actual cowboy for a while? You did rodeos and everything.”
“I wore gloves,” Vell said.
“And for the rest of the weird shit you’ve done in your life?”
Vell took a long pause.
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Vell said. “Good genes, I guess.”
“I’m not complaining, mind you, I just think-”
A loud dinging sound from Skye’s purse interrupted the conversation, and she released her grip on Vell to go answer her phone. Vell recognized those familiar chimes as the Dad Ringtone. While most contacts were set to vibrate, Skye’s father and a few other lucky high-priority contacts got their own ringtones. Vell was lucky enough to have his ringtone set to the theme song of a cartoon Skye had loved as a kid, but played at a much lower volume than the Dad Ringtone. Skye’s father didn’t call often, and when he did it was usually about something important, so she wanted to be sure to never miss a call.
“Hey dad,” Skye began. “No, now’s fine. What’s up?”
Vell set his guitar back on the shelf and relaxed while Skye continued the call.
“No, no, that’d be fine, great, even,” Skye said. “He might be a little busy, but- What?”
Skye’s delight and talking to her father shifted to mild concern.
“Dad we kind of need to- no, not tomorrow, dad,” Skye said. “Dad!”
A long silence followed as Skye held the phone frozen by her ear for a short time. She tucked it back into her purse, took a deep breath, and clapped her hands together as she spun to face Vell.
“So, good news, you’re going to get to meet my dad,” Skye squeaked.
“And the bad news?”
“Well, part one of the bad news is that it’s going to happen tomorrow,” Skye said. Vell would’ve like a little more notice, but that was far from disastrous. Part two was still waiting, though. “And part two is that I kind of maybe didn’t do a very good job describing the nature of our relationship, and he sort of a little bit thinks you’re...a hero.”
Vell waited for a part three, and there was none.
“Is that the bad news?” Vell scoffed. “I might let him down a little, but there’s worse things my girlfriend’s dad could think of me.”
“Yeah there’s definitely a few upsides, be sure to hold on to those,” Skye said. “But also, you know how I flunked out of mad scientist school?”
“Yeah?”
“Well my dad...didn’t.”
***
“Your girlfriend’s dad is a supervillain?”
“Former supervillain,” Vell corrected. He adjusted the suit coat he’d just put on. “He left the game after she was born and went white hat, now he only builds death rays and robot armies so relevant authorities can observe, learn, and prepare for the real deal.”
Having a genuine mad scientist to train with helped keep secret agents and spies ready for actual threats, and Skye’s father got to keep doing what he loved: threatening to blow up the world.
“Are you still really a supervillain if you don’t actually do any villain shit?” Hawke wondered aloud. “Isn’t he just sort a supertrainer? What would you call that?”
“I’d call it asinine,” Alex said. “We shouldn’t be condoning this behavior, much less inviting him to build a death ray on our campus.”
The Einstein-Odinson had been selected as the faux-mad scientist’s next testing ground, and due to a misunderstanding of his role on campus, Vell had been selected as his testing partner. He had to put on a tuxedo and everything, to better fit the classic secret agent trope Skye’s father was envisioning.
“Mad scientists are an important part of the scientific ecosystem,” Helena said.
“You’d know,” Samson muttered under his breath.
“Conflict breeds innovation,” Helena continued, either heedless to or deliberately ignoring his snide comment. “The arc of history requires both heroes and villains.”
“Yeah, well, as far as villains go, I prefer mine to be weird old dads with fake death rays,” Kim said. “Still, Vell, doesn’t it feel kind of weird that he doesn’t actually know you’re dating his daughter?”
“It’s fine,” Vell insisted. “It’s always awkward trying to talk to your parents about your relationship, and she just over-focused on me saving the day and helping people. Simple miscommunication.”
“And when are you resolving that miscommunication?”
“Later,” Vell said. “Skye and her dad don’t get to spend much time together anymore. They’ll take the day, and we’ll get this all sorted out later.”
A life of volcano lairs, alpine bases, and remote tropical islands did not exactly make it easy for Skye to keep up with her dad, so having him concoct a scheme right on her home turf was a good way for the two of them to spend time together. Right now, Vell’s only priority was allowing for some healthy father-daughter bonding time. And also preventing the apocalypse.
“Okay, I’m good to go,” Vell said, as he finished up the knot in his bow-tie. “Hawke, ready on comms?”
“Mission control good to go, Agent Harlan,” Hawke said. He enjoyed any apocalyptic arrangement that allowed him to stay safely behind a chair, but playing mission control was especially fun.
“Good. Samson, you’re on tech duty,” Vell said. “The rest of you, keep an eye on the island. There’s no guarantee our supervillain will actually end the world. Which feels like a weird thing to say.”
Big events usually invited big catastrophes, and a literal supervillain seemed like a prime spark for some apocalyptic fire, but Vell was not so sure. He couldn’t think of anything less likely to actually end the world than a deliberate attempt to do so. All the loopers agreed having some backup eyes on other potential disasters might be warranted.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Alex said. She was the first to leave, everyone else filtered into their respective roles to play soon enough. Samson walked alongside Vell as he left the lair.
“Hey, do I have to put up the whole mission control act like Hawke was doing?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” Vell said. “Play it up a little if Skye’s dad is around, maybe, but like, right now we can just talk normally.”
“Okay, cool. Got your shit right here,” Samson said, as he hefted a large bag of gadget. “Standard spy bullshit. Gizmo watch, secret cufflink radios, pen with a concealed laser cutter, got it all right here.”
“Thanks,” Vell said. “Where’d you find all this stuff?”
“I just asked,” Samson said with a shrug. “Island full of supergenius weirdos, most of them had this kind of stuff just lying around.”
“Convenient. Did you make a list of everyone you got this stuff from?”
“So we can keep an eye on them? Yeah.”
“So I can give it back later,” Vell corrected. “But yeah, actually, knowing about the laser pen guy might be a good idea.”
“We’ll know where to start with any laser-based apocalypses,” Samson said.
“Good instinct,” Vell said. The two of them walked out of the building and towards the docks. “Am I walking weird? I’ve never worn a tux before.”
“Little stiff, but I think it’s working in your favor. You look more serious.”
“Great, thanks,” Vell said. He stepped up to the edge of the docks and strapped on his gadget watch before checking the time on it. “Should be here soon.”
“You need me to stick around?”
“No, you’re good,” Vell said. “Thanks for the help.”
Samson excused himself before the chaos started in full. Vell felt like an idiot standing around in a tux for a minute or two, until he was joined by someone in an equally odd outfit. Skye joined him in waiting on the docks, wearing a dress with long sleeves and a short skirt over sparkling tights and some very high-heeled boots.
“Very gogo dancer,” Vell said.
“Yeah, dad’s really into that whole Cold War era 60’s style,” Skye said. “Apparently this is what a ‘proper villainess’ looks like to him.”
“Could be worse, could be the catsuit kind of female villain.”
“Ugh, don’t get me started,” Skye said. “Every time he took me to work conferences I had to watch grown women try to waddle around in pleather bodysuits.”
“Supervillains have conferences?”
“Oh yeah, surprisingly good ones,” Skye said. “Especially if you’re a little girl who likes genetically engineered sharks.”
“Oh, so that’s where you got your start.”
Skye nodded. Her penchant for genetic engineering had struck at an early age. Her father had initially been excited for her to get into the family business, but it turned out Skye just liked fucking with fish DNA, and didn’t have much skill in all the non-genetic engineering parts of mad science. He was proud of her anyway.
After shifting on uncomfortably high heels for the umpteenth time, Skye checked her phone and texted her father.
“He says he’s pulling up right now,” Skye said. Vell scanned the horizon and saw nothing coming across the ocean.
“Is he at the right-”
Vell was cut off, and forced to step back, as the ocean started to churn. The waves parted to reveal a jet-black submarine with a towering, jagged skull carved into the prow.
“Oh, right, supervillain,” Vell said.
The imposing submersible drifted to a halt, and a hatched on the side hissed open. Red lights beamed out from the darkness within, and a few seconds later, an armored killbot marched down a boarding ramp, flanked by a towering man in a long white labcoat. He had a jagged streak of black through his otherwise gray hair, and wore heavy glasses with thick black lenses that obscured his gaze and shadowed his face.
“Hi dad,” Skye said.
“Hello dear,” said the man behind the murder machine. He stepped off the boarding ramp onto the dock, as another killbot exited to flank him, and fixed his dark glasses on Vell. “And as for you...I am Doc-”
“Doc” stopped his imposing introduction to have a coughing fit. Skye stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Dad, did you take your meds today?”
“I did, I did,” the Doc said, between coughs. “Just a climate thing. I got on the damn submarine in Seattle, now we’re in the tropics, there’s pressure differentials, humidity.”
He let out a few more coughs and then cleared his throat loudly, before regaining his previous composure.
“Now, as I was saying,” he continued. “I am Doc Ragnarok!”
His boisterous shout failed to echo in the open air of the docks.
“Oh, good lord, that was terrible,” Doc Ragnarok said. “Can I try again?”
“I wouldn’t bother,” Vell said. “We’re by the beach, open air, the acoustics are terrible.”
“Oh, yes, you’re right,” Doc Ragnarok agreed. “Finally, someone who appreciates the details. You must be Vell, then, or is it Agent Harlan? Do you have a codename I should be using?’
“It’s just Harlan. Vell Harlan.”
“Yes, Skye has told me quite a bit about you,” Doc said. “You’ve escaped kidnapping attempts, outwitted undead thieves, stolen secret treasures.”
“Oh, he’s, uh, also a really nice guy, very helpful, top student,” Skye said, laying groundwork for the eventual boyfriend reveal.
“I expect nothing less,” Doc Ragnarok said. “I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to face off against someone with real credentials again, Mr. Harlan. For the past few decades it’s been nothing but greenhorns using me as a test run, well-trained but no experience, no sense of style.”
“Well, I am nothing if not experienced,” Vell said. “Stylish, however...well, this tuxedo is a rental.”
“I can tell,” Doc Ragnarok said. He let out a single boisterous bark of delighted laughter. “Ah, look at us, already bantering. I missed this.’
Doc cleared his throat again and regained his ominous supervillain demeanor, as he snapped his fingers to make the killbots flank him.
“I must begin my preparations,” he said, in a voice shockingly distinct from his earlier conversational tone. “Challenge me if you dare.”
“Excuse me a moment,” said a voice somewhere behind the killbots. Doc snapped his fingers, ordering the crowd to part again, and Helena hopped forward on her crutches. Skye glanced at Vell curiously, and he shrugged in confusion. She wasn’t supposed to be here, for multiple reasons.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I was just reading your book earlier, ‘Practically Evil: A Guide to Classic Villainy’,” Helena said. “It’s a great read, but what really stood out to me is the section on classic henchman archetypes, specifically ‘The Igor’?”
She held up the book in question, which Vell noted had a picture of Doc Ragnarok holding a skull on the cover, and opened it to the section in question.
“Oh yes, I understand, completely,” Doc Ragnarok said. “As I said in the section opener, that information is presented for historical context, and I strongly condemn the typecasting of differently-abled persons like yourself into such roles. Regardless of my intent, I’m sorry if I caused any offense, and if you have feedback-”
“Oh, no, you misunderstand, I’m not offended, I’m actually intrigued,” Helena said. She turned the book around to quote a specific passage. “‘An outcast, often hunchbacked or otherwise misshapen in such a way to make them a pariah, physically handicapped but mentally gifted, driven to evil by the harsh treatment of judgmental peers’. I think it’s a very fitting role for me, and I’d love to give it a try.”
Vell had several very strong opinions about that, but kept all of them to himself.
“Well, it’s a bit short notice, but I’ll never discourage anyone from following the path of evil,” Doc Ragnarok said. “And this is a training exercise, after all, perfect time for you to train. Come along, minion! The more the merrier!”
Doc Ragnarok snapped his fingers again, and the killbots fell in line, this time with Helena in tow. A procession of smaller robots followed, carrying a worrying number of power cores, ray guns, and mutagens. Not for the first time, Vell began to wonder if this was a good idea. The recurring doubts got obliterated as Skye looked over her shoulder and winked. She was worth a lot more trouble than this.
submitted by Mrmander20 to redditserials [link] [comments]
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
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The last few notes of a Roxy Rocket song echoed through Vell’s dorm, and while scrappy and dissonant, they were at least coherent. An improvement from early lessons, especially.
“Well, that didn’t hurt to listen to,” Skye said. “You’re making progress.”
“You have such a way with words,” Vell said.
“Okay, fine,” Skye said. “You’re actually making good progress for a guy who only finds time to practice every couple weeks.”
The ever-encroaching responsibilities of being a senior, the leader of the loopers, and the focus of a godly game of fate had whittled Vell’s free time down to almost nothing. The occasional guitar lessons were some of his only islands amid the storm, and a welcome excuse to spend more time with Skye.
“You want to try a few more chords?”
“My hands are starting to hurt, actually,” Vell said. He pulled away from the guitar strings and shook tense fingers loose, revealing fingertips rubbed red and raw by practice. Skye stepped forward and took him by the wrist to examine his hands.
“I do not understand how a guy like you doesn’t have thicker skin,” Skye said. “Weren’t you an actual cowboy for a while? You did rodeos and everything.”
“I wore gloves,” Vell said.
“And for the rest of the weird shit you’ve done in your life?”
Vell took a long pause.
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Vell said. “Good genes, I guess.”
“I’m not complaining, mind you, I just think-”
A loud dinging sound from Skye’s purse interrupted the conversation, and she released her grip on Vell to go answer her phone. Vell recognized those familiar chimes as the Dad Ringtone. While most contacts were set to vibrate, Skye’s father and a few other lucky high-priority contacts got their own ringtones. Vell was lucky enough to have his ringtone set to the theme song of a cartoon Skye had loved as a kid, but played at a much lower volume than the Dad Ringtone. Skye’s father didn’t call often, and when he did it was usually about something important, so she wanted to be sure to never miss a call.
“Hey dad,” Skye began. “No, now’s fine. What’s up?”
Vell set his guitar back on the shelf and relaxed while Skye continued the call.
“No, no, that’d be fine, great, even,” Skye said. “He might be a little busy, but- What?”
Skye’s delight and talking to her father shifted to mild concern.
“Dad we kind of need to- no, not tomorrow, dad,” Skye said. “Dad!”
A long silence followed as Skye held the phone frozen by her ear for a short time. She tucked it back into her purse, took a deep breath, and clapped her hands together as she spun to face Vell.
“So, good news, you’re going to get to meet my dad,” Skye squeaked.
“And the bad news?”
“Well, part one of the bad news is that it’s going to happen tomorrow,” Skye said. Vell would’ve like a little more notice, but that was far from disastrous. Part two was still waiting, though. “And part two is that I kind of maybe didn’t do a very good job describing the nature of our relationship, and he sort of a little bit thinks you’re...a hero.”
Vell waited for a part three, and there was none.
“Is that the bad news?” Vell scoffed. “I might let him down a little, but there’s worse things my girlfriend’s dad could think of me.”
“Yeah there’s definitely a few upsides, be sure to hold on to those,” Skye said. “But also, you know how I flunked out of mad scientist school?”
“Yeah?”
“Well my dad...didn’t.”
***
“Your girlfriend’s dad is a supervillain?”
“Former supervillain,” Vell corrected. He adjusted the suit coat he’d just put on. “He left the game after she was born and went white hat, now he only builds death rays and robot armies so relevant authorities can observe, learn, and prepare for the real deal.”
Having a genuine mad scientist to train with helped keep secret agents and spies ready for actual threats, and Skye’s father got to keep doing what he loved: threatening to blow up the world.
“Are you still really a supervillain if you don’t actually do any villain shit?” Hawke wondered aloud. “Isn’t he just sort a supertrainer? What would you call that?”
“I’d call it asinine,” Alex said. “We shouldn’t be condoning this behavior, much less inviting him to build a death ray on our campus.”
The Einstein-Odinson had been selected as the faux-mad scientist’s next testing ground, and due to a misunderstanding of his role on campus, Vell had been selected as his testing partner. He had to put on a tuxedo and everything, to better fit the classic secret agent trope Skye’s father was envisioning.
“Mad scientists are an important part of the scientific ecosystem,” Helena said.
“You’d know,” Samson muttered under his breath.
“Conflict breeds innovation,” Helena continued, either heedless to or deliberately ignoring his snide comment. “The arc of history requires both heroes and villains.”
“Yeah, well, as far as villains go, I prefer mine to be weird old dads with fake death rays,” Kim said. “Still, Vell, doesn’t it feel kind of weird that he doesn’t actually know you’re dating his daughter?”
“It’s fine,” Vell insisted. “It’s always awkward trying to talk to your parents about your relationship, and she just over-focused on me saving the day and helping people. Simple miscommunication.”
“And when are you resolving that miscommunication?”
“Later,” Vell said. “Skye and her dad don’t get to spend much time together anymore. They’ll take the day, and we’ll get this all sorted out later.”
A life of volcano lairs, alpine bases, and remote tropical islands did not exactly make it easy for Skye to keep up with her dad, so having him concoct a scheme right on her home turf was a good way for the two of them to spend time together. Right now, Vell’s only priority was allowing for some healthy father-daughter bonding time. And also preventing the apocalypse.
“Okay, I’m good to go,” Vell said, as he finished up the knot in his bow-tie. “Hawke, ready on comms?”
“Mission control good to go, Agent Harlan,” Hawke said. He enjoyed any apocalyptic arrangement that allowed him to stay safely behind a chair, but playing mission control was especially fun.
“Good. Samson, you’re on tech duty,” Vell said. “The rest of you, keep an eye on the island. There’s no guarantee our supervillain will actually end the world. Which feels like a weird thing to say.”
Big events usually invited big catastrophes, and a literal supervillain seemed like a prime spark for some apocalyptic fire, but Vell was not so sure. He couldn’t think of anything less likely to actually end the world than a deliberate attempt to do so. All the loopers agreed having some backup eyes on other potential disasters might be warranted.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Alex said. She was the first to leave, everyone else filtered into their respective roles to play soon enough. Samson walked alongside Vell as he left the lair.
“Hey, do I have to put up the whole mission control act like Hawke was doing?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” Vell said. “Play it up a little if Skye’s dad is around, maybe, but like, right now we can just talk normally.”
“Okay, cool. Got your shit right here,” Samson said, as he hefted a large bag of gadget. “Standard spy bullshit. Gizmo watch, secret cufflink radios, pen with a concealed laser cutter, got it all right here.”
“Thanks,” Vell said. “Where’d you find all this stuff?”
“I just asked,” Samson said with a shrug. “Island full of supergenius weirdos, most of them had this kind of stuff just lying around.”
“Convenient. Did you make a list of everyone you got this stuff from?”
“So we can keep an eye on them? Yeah.”
“So I can give it back later,” Vell corrected. “But yeah, actually, knowing about the laser pen guy might be a good idea.”
“We’ll know where to start with any laser-based apocalypses,” Samson said.
“Good instinct,” Vell said. The two of them walked out of the building and towards the docks. “Am I walking weird? I’ve never worn a tux before.”
“Little stiff, but I think it’s working in your favor. You look more serious.”
“Great, thanks,” Vell said. He stepped up to the edge of the docks and strapped on his gadget watch before checking the time on it. “Should be here soon.”
“You need me to stick around?”
“No, you’re good,” Vell said. “Thanks for the help.”
Samson excused himself before the chaos started in full. Vell felt like an idiot standing around in a tux for a minute or two, until he was joined by someone in an equally odd outfit. Skye joined him in waiting on the docks, wearing a dress with long sleeves and a short skirt over sparkling tights and some very high-heeled boots.
“Very gogo dancer,” Vell said.
“Yeah, dad’s really into that whole Cold War era 60’s style,” Skye said. “Apparently this is what a ‘proper villainess’ looks like to him.”
“Could be worse, could be the catsuit kind of female villain.”
“Ugh, don’t get me started,” Skye said. “Every time he took me to work conferences I had to watch grown women try to waddle around in pleather bodysuits.”
“Supervillains have conferences?”
“Oh yeah, surprisingly good ones,” Skye said. “Especially if you’re a little girl who likes genetically engineered sharks.”
“Oh, so that’s where you got your start.”
Skye nodded. Her penchant for genetic engineering had struck at an early age. Her father had initially been excited for her to get into the family business, but it turned out Skye just liked fucking with fish DNA, and didn’t have much skill in all the non-genetic engineering parts of mad science. He was proud of her anyway.
After shifting on uncomfortably high heels for the umpteenth time, Skye checked her phone and texted her father.
“He says he’s pulling up right now,” Skye said. Vell scanned the horizon and saw nothing coming across the ocean.
“Is he at the right-”
Vell was cut off, and forced to step back, as the ocean started to churn. The waves parted to reveal a jet-black submarine with a towering, jagged skull carved into the prow.
“Oh, right, supervillain,” Vell said.
The imposing submersible drifted to a halt, and a hatched on the side hissed open. Red lights beamed out from the darkness within, and a few seconds later, an armored killbot marched down a boarding ramp, flanked by a towering man in a long white labcoat. He had a jagged streak of black through his otherwise gray hair, and wore heavy glasses with thick black lenses that obscured his gaze and shadowed his face.
“Hi dad,” Skye said.
“Hello dear,” said the man behind the murder machine. He stepped off the boarding ramp onto the dock, as another killbot exited to flank him, and fixed his dark glasses on Vell. “And as for you...I am Doc-”
“Doc” stopped his imposing introduction to have a coughing fit. Skye stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Dad, did you take your meds today?”
“I did, I did,” the Doc said, between coughs. “Just a climate thing. I got on the damn submarine in Seattle, now we’re in the tropics, there’s pressure differentials, humidity.”
He let out a few more coughs and then cleared his throat loudly, before regaining his previous composure.
“Now, as I was saying,” he continued. “I am Doc Ragnarok!”
His boisterous shout failed to echo in the open air of the docks.
“Oh, good lord, that was terrible,” Doc Ragnarok said. “Can I try again?”
“I wouldn’t bother,” Vell said. “We’re by the beach, open air, the acoustics are terrible.”
“Oh, yes, you’re right,” Doc Ragnarok agreed. “Finally, someone who appreciates the details. You must be Vell, then, or is it Agent Harlan? Do you have a codename I should be using?’
“It’s just Harlan. Vell Harlan.”
“Yes, Skye has told me quite a bit about you,” Doc said. “You’ve escaped kidnapping attempts, outwitted undead thieves, stolen secret treasures.”
“Oh, he’s, uh, also a really nice guy, very helpful, top student,” Skye said, laying groundwork for the eventual boyfriend reveal.
“I expect nothing less,” Doc Ragnarok said. “I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to face off against someone with real credentials again, Mr. Harlan. For the past few decades it’s been nothing but greenhorns using me as a test run, well-trained but no experience, no sense of style.”
“Well, I am nothing if not experienced,” Vell said. “Stylish, however...well, this tuxedo is a rental.”
“I can tell,” Doc Ragnarok said. He let out a single boisterous bark of delighted laughter. “Ah, look at us, already bantering. I missed this.’
Doc cleared his throat again and regained his ominous supervillain demeanor, as he snapped his fingers to make the killbots flank him.
“I must begin my preparations,” he said, in a voice shockingly distinct from his earlier conversational tone. “Challenge me if you dare.”
“Excuse me a moment,” said a voice somewhere behind the killbots. Doc snapped his fingers, ordering the crowd to part again, and Helena hopped forward on her crutches. Skye glanced at Vell curiously, and he shrugged in confusion. She wasn’t supposed to be here, for multiple reasons.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I was just reading your book earlier, ‘Practically Evil: A Guide to Classic Villainy’,” Helena said. “It’s a great read, but what really stood out to me is the section on classic henchman archetypes, specifically ‘The Igor’?”
She held up the book in question, which Vell noted had a picture of Doc Ragnarok holding a skull on the cover, and opened it to the section in question.
“Oh yes, I understand, completely,” Doc Ragnarok said. “As I said in the section opener, that information is presented for historical context, and I strongly condemn the typecasting of differently-abled persons like yourself into such roles. Regardless of my intent, I’m sorry if I caused any offense, and if you have feedback-”
“Oh, no, you misunderstand, I’m not offended, I’m actually intrigued,” Helena said. She turned the book around to quote a specific passage. “‘An outcast, often hunchbacked or otherwise misshapen in such a way to make them a pariah, physically handicapped but mentally gifted, driven to evil by the harsh treatment of judgmental peers’. I think it’s a very fitting role for me, and I’d love to give it a try.”
Vell had several very strong opinions about that, but kept all of them to himself.
“Well, it’s a bit short notice, but I’ll never discourage anyone from following the path of evil,” Doc Ragnarok said. “And this is a training exercise, after all, perfect time for you to train. Come along, minion! The more the merrier!”
Doc Ragnarok snapped his fingers again, and the killbots fell in line, this time with Helena in tow. A procession of smaller robots followed, carrying a worrying number of power cores, ray guns, and mutagens. Not for the first time, Vell began to wonder if this was a good idea. The recurring doubts got obliterated as Skye looked over her shoulder and winked. She was worth a lot more trouble than this.
2024.05.28 06:19 Weird_Examination246 My ex is absolutely harassing me.
RE: "You destroyed me" post in here.
My ex and I broke up because one day out of nowhere he told me I was unattractive to him, that he didn't want me and never loved me. He told me it was all a lie, our future, our plans to have kids, etc. We had years of friendship before this. This shook me to my core and I begged and begged to know why, he refused to answer and ghosted me. When I finally came to terms with this and backed off, he blew up my phone constantly. More than 300 calls in a specific day when I went to get dinner with my friend after work. All sorts of things about how I was *effing* him and how "it" was his. He called me dozens of times daily belligerently drunk, some days it would be hundreds. I told him I didn't want to be with him because of what he'd done and his dishonesty, and so he started telling me the "truth", Which was; He lied to his family about me because we were long distance and he was embarrassed, he told his friends I abused him, he was following and *paying* for 48 OF accounts, he had THOUSANDS of pictures of women in his phone, basically his entire camera roll.. then he told me at the end that he cheated on me by getting a (quote) "hummer" in an alleyway. I absolutely couldn't take anymore so I decided to leave, and when I was doing so he told me that the cheating was a lie to "strengthen the relationship". By this point this had been going on for weeks, I was missing work, not eating, not sleeping, not FUNCTIONING. I had to step away. I couldn't take it anymore. I loved him but he would verbally abuse me and not stop blowing up my phone, and I walked away because I had to, Now, he's harassing me. He's gone through friends, facebook friends lists, group chats from years ago, multiple accounts hes made, 3 phone numbers and more. He is verbally abusing my friends and threatening my safety. I've spoke to the police and they've threatened him with criminal harassment, but he does not care. He calls multiple times a day, and posts about me on here (reddit) every single day- and it is all victim mentality. If you read his post in here earlier, do yourself a favor and go through his comments. He deleted all the actual posts. He is abusive, he is scary.
To clear some things up too; he wrote about how I "cheated' on him while he was in the hospital. He went to the hospital with food poisoning and had diarrhea, he went for about three hours. We were broken up for a month by that point and I'd found somebody. Everything he writes is absolute lies. I can't stand it anymore.
EDIT: This person is so unhinged he would literally smash his head off the floor on phone calls because I wouldn't come back to him, he has holes punched into his walls- he would leave me voicemails screaming at the top of his lungs at me, and threatens to *unalive* himself to me and all my friends because I won't come back.
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My ex and I broke up because one day out of nowhere he told me I was unattractive to him, that he didn't want me and never loved me. He told me it was all a lie, our future, our plans to have kids, etc. We had years of friendship before this. This shook me to my core and I begged and begged to know why, he refused to answer and ghosted me. When I finally came to terms with this and backed off, he blew up my phone constantly. More than 300 calls in a specific day when I went to get dinner with my friend after work. All sorts of things about how I was *effing* him and how "it" was his. He called me dozens of times daily belligerently drunk, some days it would be hundreds. I told him I didn't want to be with him because of what he'd done and his dishonesty, and so he started telling me the "truth", Which was; He lied to his family about me because we were long distance and he was embarrassed, he told his friends I abused him, he was following and *paying* for 48 OF accounts, he had THOUSANDS of pictures of women in his phone, basically his entire camera roll.. then he told me at the end that he cheated on me by getting a (quote) "hummer" in an alleyway. I absolutely couldn't take anymore so I decided to leave, and when I was doing so he told me that the cheating was a lie to "strengthen the relationship". By this point this had been going on for weeks, I was missing work, not eating, not sleeping, not FUNCTIONING. I had to step away. I couldn't take it anymore. I loved him but he would verbally abuse me and not stop blowing up my phone, and I walked away because I had to, Now, he's harassing me. He's gone through friends, facebook friends lists, group chats from years ago, multiple accounts hes made, 3 phone numbers and more. He is verbally abusing my friends and threatening my safety. I've spoke to the police and they've threatened him with criminal harassment, but he does not care. He calls multiple times a day, and posts about me on here (reddit) every single day- and it is all victim mentality. If you read his post in here earlier, do yourself a favor and go through his comments. He deleted all the actual posts. He is abusive, he is scary.
To clear some things up too; he wrote about how I "cheated' on him while he was in the hospital. He went to the hospital with food poisoning and had diarrhea, he went for about three hours. We were broken up for a month by that point and I'd found somebody. Everything he writes is absolute lies. I can't stand it anymore.
EDIT: This person is so unhinged he would literally smash his head off the floor on phone calls because I wouldn't come back to him, he has holes punched into his walls- he would leave me voicemails screaming at the top of his lungs at me, and threatens to *unalive* himself to me and all my friends because I won't come back.
2024.05.28 04:00 whatsoever10008 My learning from Bhagavad Gita
Not everything can be written but to give you a basic idea: 1. To not think of result if you are going to succeed or not. Don't think too much, basically control the controllables, what is certainly in our hands is we can put in efforts so we have to give our best rest is not in our hand then why to worry? Expection leads to sorrow realise it asap. 2. Don't get too much excited when the result is in your favour don't get depressed when it's not in your favour. 3. Try to see the same truth,which is eternal, in everything. As Krishna says विद्याविनयसम्पन्ने ब्राह्मणे गवि हस्तिनि शुनि चैव श्वपाके च पण्डिता: समदर्शिन: (gita 5.18}, this teaching of gita will automatically annihilate racism. 4. To control your mind, your mind is the key to either happiness or sorrow, you can get control over it with rigorous practice. (अभ्यासयोगयुक्तेन) 5. You are not this body(many researches have been done on this topic, even in foreign universities), you are not a body experiencing spirituality but a spiritual entity experiencing World, you are here for a special purpose, spread love, help others without any expectation in return. 6. Don't be a coward and give up when things are against you, you have to fight. Fight for truth. Bring a change. 7. Time is the key, one of the manifestations of Bhagavan is Kaala(time, as Oppenheimer quotes now I have become death(originally kaala/time), we should respect time, generally what we do is we will think too much about how are we supposed to use our money but what about time? It's the most precious thing we have, but we squander it as if it has no value. 8. Loving Devotion to lord soothes our soul. It helps in challenging times, gives us huge support. Devotion is highly mistaken in present society what we generally think of devotion is just stand before a deity and pray him like o lord do this, fullfill this desire but that is ignorance. 9. Don't bind yourself too much in emotion, people take such huge steps when a person whom they were madly in love with leaves, why to bind yourself with such a rope? Everything is constantly changing, you have to accept that change. Know thyself to be eternal atman, the only unchanging entity, everything is going to be destroyed except atman, live in the present experiencing tiny moments without much expectations. 10. Karma will follow you as the wheel follows behind the ox, don't think you will get away with whatever you do, consequences will follow you up, don't harm innocents, instead try to help them in whatever way possible.
Lastly, inculcate habits like yoga, Pranayama in your daily life, this will certainly help you in all spheres of life, increasing your level of concentration, your intellect of distinguishing between right and wrong and obviously there are various health benefits of it. Lord Krishna even teaches us the way how one should perform Yoga.
In picture: Bhagavad Gita with the commentary of one of the greatest scholars of Advaita Vedanta (non dualistic philosophy), Madhusudan Saraswati of 16th century. You can purchase it from websites of Ramakrishnamission mutt(established by Swami Vivekananda).
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Lastly, inculcate habits like yoga, Pranayama in your daily life, this will certainly help you in all spheres of life, increasing your level of concentration, your intellect of distinguishing between right and wrong and obviously there are various health benefits of it. Lord Krishna even teaches us the way how one should perform Yoga.
In picture: Bhagavad Gita with the commentary of one of the greatest scholars of Advaita Vedanta (non dualistic philosophy), Madhusudan Saraswati of 16th century. You can purchase it from websites of Ramakrishnamission mutt(established by Swami Vivekananda).
2024.05.27 17:49 Ok_Piano_7281 Christians Do Not Understand Acts 15:19-20
Christians Do Not Understand Acts 15:19-20
A critical analysis of the common misinterpretation of Acts 15:19-20 and how it affects the Christian faith and practice.Jul 30, 2022: "Christians Do NOT Understand Acts 15:19-20!" starts at ~32 minutes in.
Notes taken on Jan 3, 2024
Formatting Key
Bible VerseItalicsArticles Number text in verse. Jesus talking. using KJV unless noted otherwiseNotes on the verse Not necessarily relevant to the current class, but still importantArticle link Quote from article {{quote removed later}}
Christians Do Not Understand Acts 15:19-20
A critical analysis of the common misinterpretation of Acts 15:19-20 and how it affects the Christian faith and practice.Jul 30, 2022: "Christians Do NOT Understand Acts 15:19-20!" starts at ~32 minutes in.
Notes taken on Jan 3, 2024
Formatting Key
Bible VerseItalicsArticles Number text in verse. Jesus talking. using KJV unless noted otherwiseNotes on the verse Not necessarily relevant to the current class, but still importantArticle link Quote from article {{quote removed later}}
Christians concluded that there are only 4 commandments that they should follow as non-Israelites. Christians will take you here so that they don’t have to keep the entire law of moses. The christians that give it to you don’t understand the context/background. Even though they know that there are more than just these 4 commandments.
These verses don’t even support them either. This can’t be used as a standard for what we should do.
It doesn’t include: don't murder, don’t steal, don’t keep the sabbath, don’t honor your father and mother, etc.
Hypocrisy is doing this. This is a double edged sword.
Belief in Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation.
The disciples never said anything about circumcision. There was never a debate about the Law of Moses before Acts 15. The first christians were Jews. They never abandoned the Law of Moses. The disciples encouraged keeping the Law of Moses.
The 4 commandments mentioned were a “beginners package” to get them started.
Act 15:19-20 Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God: (20) But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.
- This is James talking. We don’t trouble the Gentile converts.
- Is this for all time or for just those that have just come to the faith?
- Fornication is a blanket turn regarding any sexual act
- Adultery, harlot, homosexuality, incest, etc.
- Things strangled
- Things with blood in them (back to the levitical law)
- You have to drain the blood out of every animal (don’t eat any blood)
- What happened to honor your father and mother or no killing or stealing or bear false witness or coveting?
The crosses everywhere are idolatry.
The Jews and Gentiles didn’t have different sets of rules.
Act 15:1 And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, Except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved.
- Certain men said this. The apostles didn’t teach this. This was a lie that was taught. People were holding on to their traditional views.
- They didn’t abandon their previous beliefs completely.
- You don’t have to follow the Law of Moses to be saved. You don’t have to be circumcised to be saved.
Act 2:36-41 Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that God hath made that same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ. (37) Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? (38) Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. (39) For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. (40) And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation. (41) Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.
- This is on the day of pentecost.
- Peter is addressing the House of Israel, the Jews, the Israelites
- This was who christianity was given to first
- He is rebuking them.
- There were some gentiles here too, but Peter was addressing the Jews first.
- Verse 38 doesn’t say to keep the Law of Moses
- Being saved doesn’t mean keep the Law of Moses or be circumcised
- This is how you get saved.
Their audience was Jews.
Keeping the law never became an issue until “christians”/new-comers started talking about it.
There are two groups of gentiles. Those that knew the law and those that knew nothing (were 100% pagan).
Act 4:10-11 Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here before you whole. (11) This is the stone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner. (12) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
- This is Peter and John preaching Jesus
- You have to be saved by and through Jesus
- Not by the law or circumcision.
What do you have to do to be saved?
- Believe in Jesus
You show that belief by establishing the law!
Act 11:13-18 And he shewed us how he had seen an angel in his house, which stood and said unto him, Send men to Joppa, and call for Simon, whose surname is Peter; (14) Who shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house shall be saved. (15) And as I began to speak, the Holy Ghost fell on them, as on us at the beginning. (16) Then remembered I the word of the Lord, how that he said, John indeed baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost. (17) Forasmuch then as God gave them the like gift as he did unto us, who believed on the Lord Jesus Christ; what was I, that I could withstand God? (18) When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.
- Your saved through Jesus
- God has granted repentance to the Gentiles
- This means they too have an opportunity to be saved (through Jesus)
- They were teaching belief in Jesus
Act 15:1-2 And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, Except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved. (2) When therefore Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question.
- Certain men (not Paul, James, etc.)
- They taught that to be saved you have to follow the Law of Moses
- This became a big argument that Paul and Barnabas were arguing against.
- They went to go have a council meeting
- These certain men were a sect of the pharisees
- Before this, circumcision wasn’t an issue discussed
- This was because Gentiles were brought into the picture that had no Hebrew roots.
- They were making circumcision a requirement for salvation.
- Peter is recounting how he got the gentiles in.
- Cornelius had some background of the law and such
- Others didn’t have background
- Whenever the apostles converted non-Israelites, then people got mad
- Verse 10, christians THINK that peter is rebuking law
- Tempting God is actually breaking the law (this is clear in the old and new testament)
- The yoke referred to is something that is going against the law or the gospel
- Yoke talked about in matthew 23
- Pharisees were putting a heavy burden on the new converts that were grievous to be borne
- Yoke talked about in matthew 23
- Here, they were making the gospel unbearable. Making the gospel hard to do.
- These burdens were extra
- They added laws to the laws of Moses, making the laws of Moses unbearable.
How can the sabbath be a burden when it literally means rest?
The burden was talking about the man-made traditions that the Pharisees try to add. They did it with the law and with the gospel.
Mat 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
- The difference between Jesus’s yoke and the pharisee’s yoke is that the pharisees made restrictions to make the law of Moses heavy.
The apostles didn’t have a decision prepared for Acts 15 which is why they went to the council.
1Jn 5:1-3 Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him. (2) By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. (3) For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
- We keep his commandments
- That we keep his commandments
- The commandments aren’t grievous
- Grievous (G926)
- βαρύς
- barus
- bar-ooce'
- From the same as G922; weighty, that is, (figuratively) burdensome, grave: - grievous, heavy, weightier.
- Same word in Matthew 23:4
1Jn 5:3 CEV We show our love for God by obeying his commandments, and they are not hard to follow.
1Jn 5:3 DRB For this is the charity of God: That we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not heavy.
The Pharisees' commandments are heavy (they don’t talk about the law of Moses).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~REAL LESSON NOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Act 15:13-14 And after they had held their peace, James answered, saying, Men and brethren, hearken unto me: (14) Simeon hath declared how God at the first did visit the Gentiles, to take out of them a people for his name.
- Discussing how to talk with the very new convert Gentiles (100% pagan)
- The decision is to not make the conversion hard.
- Did James just choose these four (there are actually five) things? Where did James get these?
- James got this one. The first direct way it was said.
- Book of Leviticus was for the priests.
- They were the teachers of the ancient hebrews.
- James went to the teacher’s edition essentially.
Lev 18:5-6 Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man do, he shall live in them: I am the LORD. (6) None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.
- This is the fornication that James is talking about. It covered all the sexuality stuff.
- It is a blanket statement, which is more than just four precepts in chapter 18.
- They should drain the animals dry.
- You also can’t eat the blood.
The Holy Spirit guided them what in the beginning that they should do.
Act 15:20-21 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood. (21) For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.
- First, four precepts from the law of Moses.
- Then he says that the law of Moses is taught in all the synagogues.
- The Gentiles would get the rest from the synagogues from their cities.
- This is why James didn’t have to give an exhaustive list.
They had to be smart about how they taught them.
Act 13:13-15 Now when Paul and his company loosed from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia: and John departing from them returned to Jerusalem. (14) But when they departed from Perga, they came to Antioch in Pisidia, and went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and sat down. (15) And after the reading of the law and the prophets the rulers of the synagogue sent unto them, saying, Ye men and brethren, if ye have any word of exhortation for the people, say on.
- Synagogue in Antioch and they went in during the sabbath day.
- After reading of the law and the prophets!
- This is what James was saying
- Then they opened the study for questions
- This is where they learned the rest of the precepts.
- There were gentiles in the synagogue keeping the sabbath. They were learning of the laws of Moses.
- proselytes were new converts to the faith.
- Never was a Jew, but converting to the ways of Israel.
True christianity is torah observance.
1Ti 4:12-13 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (13) Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.
- KJV falls short here
- The scriptures in their day was the old testament.
- This public reading was in synagogues on the sabbath.
- Public reading of the scriptures. They were reading the old testament and teaching it.
- They say keep on reading.
- The reading of the scriptures was a part of the worship.
(Antwan)
Josephus - Antiquities Of The Jews
03.20.02. Book 20, Chapter 02
CHAPTER 2
HOW HELENA THE QUEEN OF ADIABENE AND HER SON IZATES, EMBRACED THE JEWISH RELIGION; AND HOW HELENA SUPPLIED THE POOR WITH CORN, WHEN THERE WAS A GREAT FAMINE AT JERUSALEM.
- ABOUT this time it was that Helena, queen of Adiabene, and her son Izates, changed their course of life, and embraced the Jewish customs, and this on the occasion following: Monobazus, the king of Adiabene, who had also the name of Bazeus, fell in love with his sister Helena, and took her to be his wife, and begat her with child. But as he was in bed with her one night, he laid his hand upon his wife’s belly, and fell asleep, and seemed to hear a voice, which bid him take his hand off his wife’s belly, and not hurt the infant that was therein, which, by God’s providence, would be safely born, and have a happy end. This voice put him into disorder; so he awaked immediately, and told the story to his wife; and when his son was born, he called him Izates. He had indeed Monobazus, his elder brother, by Helena also, as he had other sons by other wives besides. Yet did he openly place all his affections on this his only begotten (2) son Izates, which was the origin of that envy which his other brethren, by the same father, bore to him; while on this account they hated him more and more, and were all under great affliction that their father should prefer Izates before them. Now although their father was very sensible of these their passions, yet did he forgive them, as not indulging those passions out of an ill disposition, but out of a desire each of them had to be beloved by their father. However, he sent Izates, with many presents, to Abennerig, the king of Charax-Spasini, and that out of the great dread he was in about him, lest he should come to some misfortune by the hatred his brethren bore him; and he committed his son’s preservation to him. Upon which Abennerig gladly received the young man, and had a great affection for him, and married him to his own daughter, whose name was Samacha: he also bestowed a country upon him, from which he received large revenues.
- But when Monobazus was grown old, and saw that he had but a little time to live, he had a mind to come to the sight of his son before he died. So he sent for him, and embraced him after the most affectionate manner, and bestowed on him the country called Carra; it was a soil that bare amomum in great plenty: there are also in it the remains of that ark, wherein it is related that Noah escaped the deluge, and where they are still shown to such as are desirous to see them. (3) Accordingly, Izates abode in that country until his father’s death. But the very day that Monobazus died, queen Helena sent for all the grandees, and governors of the kingdom, and for those that had the armies committed to their command; and when they were come, she made the following speech to them: "I believe you are not unacquainted that my husband was desirous Izates should succeed him in the government, and thought him worthy so to do. However, I wait your determination; for happy is he who receives a kingdom, not from a single person only, but from the willing suffrages of a great many." This she said, in order to try those that were invited, and to discover their sentiments. Upon the hearing of which, they first of all paid their homage to the queen, as their custom was, and then they said that they confirmed the king’s determination, and would submit to it; and they rejoiced that Izates’s father had preferred him before the rest of his brethren, as being agreeable to all their wishes: but that they were desirous first of all to slay his brethren and kinsmen, that so the government might come securely to Izates; because if they were once destroyed, all that fear would be over which might arise from their hatred and envy to him. Helena replied to this, that she returned them her thanks for their kindness to herself and to Izates; but desired that they would however defer the execution of this slaughter of Izates’s brethren till he should be there himself, and give his approbation to it. So since these men had not prevailed with her, when they advised her to slay them, they exhorted her at least to keep them in bonds till he should come, and that for their own security; they also gave her counsel to set up some one whom she could put the greatest trust in, as a governor of the kingdom in the mean time. So queen Helena complied with this counsel of theirs, and set up Monobazus, the eldest son, to be king, and put the diadem upon his head, and gave him his father’s ring, with its signet; as also the ornament which they call Sampser, and exhorted him to administer the affairs of the kingdom till his brother should come; who came suddenly upon hearing that his father was dead, and succeeded his brother Monobazus, who resigned up the government to him.
- Now, during the time Izates abode at Charax-Spasini, a certain Jewish merchant, whose name was Ananias, got among the women that belonged to the king, and taught them to worship God according to the Jewish religion. He, moreover, by their means, became known to Izates, and persuaded him, in like manner, to embrace that religion; he also, at the earnest entreaty of Izates, accompanied him when he was sent for by his father to come to Adiabene; it also happened that Helena, about the same time, was instructed by a certain other Jew and went over to them. But when Izates had taken the kingdom, and was come to Adiabene, and there saw his brethren and other kinsmen in bonds, he was displeased at it; and as he thought it an instance of impiety either to slay or imprison them, but still thought it a hazardous thing for to let them have their liberty, with the remembrance of the injuries that had been offered them, he sent some of them and their children for hostages to Rome, to Claudius Caesar, and sent the others to Artabanus, the king of Parthia, with the like intentions.
- And when he perceived that his mother was highly pleased with the Jewish customs, he made haste to change, and to embrace them entirely; and as he supposed that he could not he thoroughly a Jew unless he were circumcised, he was ready to have it done. But when his mother understood what he was about, she endeavored to hinder him from doing it, and said to him that this thing would bring him into danger; and that, as he was a king, he would thereby bring himself into great odium among his subjects, when they should understand that he was so fond of rites that were to them strange and foreign; and that they would never bear to be ruled over by a Jew. This it was that she said to him, and for the present persuaded him to forbear. And when he had related what she had said to Ananias, he confirmed what his mother had said; and when he had also threatened to leave him, unless he complied with him, he went away from him, and said that he was afraid lest such an action being once become public to all, he should himself be in danger of punishment for having been the occasion of it, and having been the king’s instructor in actions that were of ill reputation; and he said that he might worship God without being circumcised, even though he did resolve to follow the Jewish law entirely, which worship of God was of a superior nature to circumcision. He added, that God would forgive him, though he did not perform the operation, while it was omitted out of necessity, and for fear of his subjects. So the king at that time complied with these persuasions of Ananias. But afterwards, as he had not quite left off his desire of doing this thing, a certain other Jew that came out of Galilee, whose name was Eleazar, and who was esteemed very skillful in the learning of his country, persuaded him to do the thing; for as he entered into his palace to salute him, and found him reading the law of Moses, he said to him, "Thou dost not consider, O king! that thou unjustly breakest the principal of those laws, and art injurious to God himself, [by omitting to be circumcised]; for thou oughtest not only to read them, but chiefly to practice what they enjoin thee. How long wilt thou continue uncircumcised? But if thou hast not yet read the law about circumcision, and dost not know how great impiety thou art guilty of by neglecting it, read it now." When the king had heard what he said, he delayed the thing no longer, but retired to another room, and sent for a surgeon, and did what he was commanded to do. He then sent for his mother, and Ananias his tutor, and informed them that he had done the thing; upon which they were presently struck with astonishment and fear, and that to a great degree, lest the thing should be openly discovered and censured, and the king should hazard the loss of his kingdom, while his subjects would not bear to be governed by a man who was so zealous in another religion; and lest they should themselves run some hazard, because they would be supposed the occasion of his so doing. But it was God himself who hindered what they feared from taking effect; for he preserved both Izates himself and his sons when they fell into many dangers, and procured their deliverance when it seemed to be impossible, and demonstrated thereby that the fruit of piety does not perish as to those that have regard to him, and fix their faith upon him only. (4) But these events we shall relate hereafter.
- But as to Helena, the king’s mother, when she saw that the affairs of Izates’s kingdom were in peace, and that her son was a happy man, and admired among all men, and even among foreigners, by the means of God’s providence over him, she had a mind to go to the city of Jerusalem, in order to worship at that temple of God which was so very famous among all men, and to offer her thank-offerings there. So she desired her son to give her leave to go thither; upon which he gave his consent to what she desired very willingly, and made great preparations for her dismission, and gave her a great deal of money, and she went down to the city Jerusalem, her son conducting her on her journey a great way. Now her coming was of very great advantage to the people of Jerusalem; for whereas a famine did oppress them at that time, and many people died for want of what was necessary to procure food withal, queen Helena sent some of her servants to Alexandria with money to buy a great quantity of corn, and others of them to Cyprus, to bring a cargo of dried figs. And as soon as they were come back, and had brought those provisions, which was done very quickly, she distributed food to those that were in want of it, and left a most excellent memorial behind her of this benefaction, which she bestowed on our whole nation. And when her son Izates was informed of this famine,
ENDNOTES
(2): Josephus here uses the word monogene, an only begotten son, for no other than one best beloved, as does both the Old and New Testament, I mean where there were one or more sons besides, Gen_22:2; Heb_11:17. See the note on B. I. ch. 13. sect. 1.
(3): It is here very remarkable, that the remains of Noah’s ark were believed to he still in being in the days of Josephus. See the note on B. I. ch. 3. sect. 5.
(4): Josephus is very full and express in these three chapters, 3., 4., and 5., in observing how carefully Divine Providence preserved this Izates, king of Adiabene, and his sons, while he did what he thought was his bounden duty, notwithstanding the strongest political motives to the contrary.
(5): This further account of the benefactions of Izates and Helena to the Jerusalem Jews which Josephus here promises is, I think, no where performed by him in his present works. But of this terrible famine itself in Judea, take Dr. Hudson’s note here: - "This ( says he ) is that famine foretold by Agabus, Act_11:28, which happened when Claudius was consul the fourth time; and not that other which happened when Claudius was consul the second time, and Cesina was his colleague, as Scaliger says upon Eusebius, p. 174." Now when Josephus had said a little afterward, ch. 5. sect. 2, that "Tiberius Alexander succeeded Cuspius Fadus as procurator," he immediately subjoins, that" under these procurators there happened a great famine in Judea." Whence it is plain that this famine continued for many years, on account of its duration under these two procurators. Now Fadus was not sent into Judea till after the death of king Agrippa, i.e. towards the latter end of the 4th year of Claudius; so that this famine foretold by Agabus happened upon the 5th, 6th, and 7th years of Claudius, as says Valesius on Euseb. II. 12. Of this famine also, and queen Helena’s supplies, and her monument, see Moses Churenensis, p. 144, 145, where it is observed in the notes that Pausanias mentions that her monument also.
Mat 23:15 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
- The pharisees make them twice as likely to go to hell.
- These people would go to great lengths to make this one convert even worse than them.
Christ saves. To maintain your salvation, you must keep the law of Moses.
The sabbath, the new moons, the dietary laws, etc. they weren’t ever a controversy. If something is established and there is silence going forward regarding it, then it never goes away.
You have to keep the law through christ to be saved. There are steps to salvation.
When the apostles went to the Jews, they knew what they were repenting from; the only difference was to also believe in Jesus.
Christianity today teaches repentance from sin without actually turning from sin.
Believe in Christ & Repent from sin -> Have fruits of repentance and keep the law in Christ
Connect Acts 15:1 with Matthew 1:21. This describes what Jesus came to save people from.
Belief in Jesus blots/cancels out PAST sins.
Now that they have been converted, Acts 21 - after the intro.
Peter says:
- Saved by Christ
- Save yourselves
James gave the Gentiles four precepts to start them off with. And he said they would learn the rest.
Christians today say that nothing that you do can affect your salvation. Even though in Acts 2, Peter told them to save yourselves from this untoward generation.
So, first Peter tells you that you have to be saved by Christ. Then he turns around saying save yourselves. That means you gotta do something.
This is the analogy: Christians see Jesus as this lifeguard that keeps jumping in the pool while you're drowning and keeps pulling you out even though he was the one who told you to not get in the pool in the first place. The Bible describes Jesus as you drowning and he shows you what to do to save yourself, by giving you the life preserver. So if someone asks you, you would be right to say that Jesus saved me because he was the one that threw you the life preserver, but he made me participate in my own salvation. I had to play a role in it. That is the part that Christians miss.
Christians Do Not Understand Acts 15:19-20
A critical analysis of the common misinterpretation of Acts 15:19-20 and how it affects the Christian faith and practice.
Jul 30, 2022: "Christians Do NOT Understand Acts 15:19-20!" starts at ~32 minutes in.
Notes taken on Jan 3, 2024
Formatting Key
Bible VerseItalicsArticles Number text in verse. Jesus talking. using KJV unless noted otherwiseNotes on the verse Not necessarily relevant to the current class, but still importantArticle link Quote from article {{quote removed later}}
2024.05.27 13:28 guiltyofnothing “Bro said mid ass physique while looking like a sac of potatoes.“ User posts a selfie to /r/nattyorjuice claiming his physique to be all-natural. Not everyone agrees.
The Context:
/nattyorjuice is a sub “to discuss whether the people you post are, or have been, on some sort of juicy substance or not” — with “juicy substance” in this context meaning steroids.A user posts a selfie to the sub purporting that an active user of the sub has accused him of taking steroids to achieve his physique and wants others to chime in.
Things do not go entirely how OOP hopes, with him engaging in multiple slapfights, a flood of “juicy”’s, and a bunch of Bible quotes for good measure.
The Drama:
OOP shows an angle of his back and another is not impressed:That has to be the worst picture imaginable to show of how your back looks[Continued:]
Why, because I’m not fucking flapping my arms out like a chicken? I’m just showing my traps my shrugging up my arms lmao.
No because you are simply not flexing your back. My god you take everything to heart do you?
I’m not flexing it in a bodybuilding pose but it is most certainly a light flex. How can a normal picture of my back be the worst way to show it off? Sorry I’m not in a bodybuilding posing room under optimal conditions.
I was trying to be nice with you but you acting all smartass and butthurt about not being a bodybuilder really proves my point that you take everything to heart and have a very fragile ego.
I dont know whats so fucking hard to understand here. You are not fucking flexing your back and especially not "your traps". If anything the only thing you are flexing is your rhomboid minor and major by retracting your scapular but those two muscles are not "your back" by definition and definitely not a reason to call your back your "strong suit".
Also thats not a "normal picture of your back" its a forced ass pose to make your lats look bigger than they are by tilting your upper body. A "normal picture" as you call it would be you simply standing in front of the camera with a relaxed back and even that would be a better way to show off than the pictures you linked.
Get your head outta your ass man
The second pic is pretty relaxed and from a straight on angle, I’m just shrugging my shoulders, so I really don’t see what your point is.[Continued:]
My point is that you are posting to a sub which has the sole purpose of analysing your physique, say back is your strong suit to a guy that says you have no lats and then try to prove your point with pictures that make it impossible to assess what your back development looks like. And then you start being all smartass about your pose without actually knowing what you are flexing e.g. "I am showing my traps by shrugging up my arms" while you neither actually shrug nor flex your traps.
Its fine if you dont know anatomy and just lift for fun but then dont come up to someone who does talking bullshit like "sorry I'm not in a bodybuilding showroom under perfect conditions" like that has anything to do with anything I said.
I'll end this conversation here and leave you with your "normal pictures" that nobody can actually get an accurate representation about your back development from because you made very clear that you dont have a fucking clue about what you are doing. Have a great day
The same argument could be used in your own frontal progress picture. How come you didn’t share a picture from the front instead of having your torso twisted. See? Same shit. Now stop being mean.
Thats absolutely different because I didnt post that shit in the fucking natty or not subreddit. I was simply showing off my weight gains and not actually wanting anyone to analyse my physique. You are comparing apples with pears here. But thats fine if you dont wanna read more than 2 sentences, explains a lot honestly.
What does me not wanting to read your 5 paragraph long rant explain, exactly?
If you cant read something for 30 seconds you probably also cant read about proper training which explains why you took 5+ years for this mid-ass physique and keep acting butthurt about anyone saying you have small arms, lats or that your physique is attainable in under 3 years with a bit of calisthenics.[…]
There you go, I spelled it out for you wether you wanna hear it or not
I love reading and probably am more versed in literature than you, but a good author is key ;)
Bro said mid ass physique while looking like a sac of potatoes. Maximum copium 😭😭😭😅
My brother in Christ, in 2 whole years you put on 5kg of muscle and 15kg of fat.. and you’re insulting my physique. Ain’t no way…. Go to therapy or to the optometrist.
Like be so for real this is the most hypocritical shit ever, you’re quite literally doing the same shit in your OWN frontal progress picture. 💀[…]
Dude, my head is not in my ass. It was you who literally came in this thread talking shit about a simple back picture, and then say my ego is hurt. Okayyyy maneAnother expresses dismay:
Edit: and no, you were not trying to be nice… 🤦🏻
Just because it looks natty, doesnt mean it is. But it looks natty to me. I would be sad if that was my body I think.[Continued:]
Oh wait, never mind, you said this dude’s traps were weird, I am not taking you seriously 💀
Sorry, I didn't think it was you. It wasn't meant to be an insult.
The reason I said that is when I am that lean, I am usually starving. Your shoulders look depleted of glycogen. Genuine opinion, not trying to be cruel.
Don't say shit online that you wouldn't say to someone's face. Your last comment very much falls into that.
If im not going to say anything online that I wouldn't do in person I might as well go do it in person.[Continued:]
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV):
• "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." • This verse emphasizes using speech that is constructive and beneficial to others, avoiding harmful or corrupt language.
‘I would be sad if that was my body’ very useful for building others up. Don’t waffle pish.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV):
• "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." • This verse emphasizes using speech that is constructive and beneficial to others, avoiding harmful or corrupt language.
Right? What point are you trying to make? That telling someone you would be sad if you had their body is meant to benefit the person you said it too? That’s a load of pish and you know it.
it wasnt meant to be an insult, just an observation. Its not like the word 'sad' is incredibly offensive or a foul mouthed swear word in every context. You look it as an insult and thus didn't see what was being said.
Not a particularly pleasant observation though is it? It doesn’t matter if sad as a standalone word is offensive or not. Quoting the bible means shit all when the words you used were the opposite of your own explanations of that passage.[Continued:]
It was unwholesome. It was not beneficial, or helpful and did not build anyone up.
Not really, he look emaciated. From my experience being emaciated, I feel sad.
He doesn’t look emaciated he looks like an endurance athlete.
Just stop dude. You fired out a judgemental comment, as we all do, and instead of owning it you doubled down and started firing out shit from the bible and waffling nonsense.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV):
• "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Christ, you’re an insufferable bellend with no ability to self reflect. I’m out.
Disrespectful Speech:Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."Colossians 4:6: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."[…]
Endurance athletes often look emaciated. Endurance sports create muscle loss and glycogen loss. That is my point, when I do those things, i feel miserable.[Continued:]
Not everyone is built the same, I’m sorry endurance sports were too much
we mostly are built the same though, most people's genetics are incredibly similar.
Yes we both have human skeletons
Do you think that is all?
How do these look like someone’s emaciated legs to you? Are you trolling, blind, or something else?[…]
Maybe people arent looking at how tall u r but at ur giant ego.
Its. Common for people to think no one likes them becayse theyarent attractive or successful enough but most of the time they don't like them because they're self centered individyals who can't see past themselves.
How can I hide my “ego” when simply existing? Again I’m starting to think this is personal with you because all you’ve done is initiate this conversation by saying you’d be sad if you “looked like me”(please try it would be good for your health), and then say I look starved and small when I would mog your ass 💀 you’re just saying shit as other users have mentioned here and then you try to turn it around on me.
Again, touch grass get some sun my guy.
Full extension of elbow in the down movement, elbows tucked in, no move in hips or back whatsoever, no shoulder movement either. Just a raw curl. If you wanna get good at those you need to master your pull ups first. I can do an unbelievable amount of muscle ups pull ups explosive pull ups, L holds, etc. now stop trolling pleaseA mod chimes in:
Prideful wrath
Pathetic copingPrideful wrath
Okey buddy I’m gonna sleep tomorrow I have a really long run in the mountains. Good luck brother
Liar and a mocker
It’s like you’re holding a mirror holy shit
Bro has no arms , no shoulders and barely any chest. If he took gear i guess its the worst gear of all times or he barely lifts[Continued:]
Yes I am an endurance runner and 6’4 thank you for proving my point. Go read this comment thread and see how there’s retards saying roids.
But come on, saying no arms or chest is a joke 😭💔 https://imgur.com/a/hE5k2qm
The no arms or shoulders thing i said compared to someone that takes gear i didnt mean it in a offensive way, obviously you're 1 billion times better than the average person but that would apply to all of us gymrats. Im just saying you would be way bigger than that with gear
Thank you brother I misinterpreted your comment. And yeah you’re totally right, it’s kinda crazy how this subreddit is plagued with what seems to be kids that have no concept of what is naturally attainable.
I remember being on Reddit like in 2018 and this sub didn’t have as many dumb*sses
[Mod:]
People put on their detective hats:this sub was much more level headedThe sub has notified me that you may be disrespecting. Are you disrespecting the sub as a whole?
To go further, the reason I keep coming back to this sub is because, ultimately it has good content, good discussions, and humor too. On a weekly basis I laugh my ass off at a comment in this sub lmao, and I even remember interacting with you (I remember your username) like a decade ago and it’s always been interesting. So no, I’m not dissing the sub but there’s some pussies here.
Man, the fact that you had to post yourself here is the most sus thing of all. XD Yes, you are not big, then again, your attitude... (Also, plastic skin).[Continued:]
Not fucking chance you think he’s on something his skin looks fine
And you think every juicer is not so keep defending.
Also, plastic skin always tells.
And your latest insult is just classy juicy. That "Is just TRT bro!" is affecting your mood. XD
Please keep defending your kind.
I haven’t never once said I’m on TRT tf
Pretty sure you did juicy.
Show my proof I’ve claimed I was on TRT and I’ll cashapp you $50 I was blasting like a man[Continued:]
It was a while ago when you said something like "Don't be ignorant, TRT is not going to hurt me". Don't need to search for it.
Also, don't need your poor $50. XD
I said “don’t be ignorant a little test isn’t gonna put me in a early grave” and btw true trt actually is healthy
So you admit it then.
Not going to take your $50 away juicy don't worry. (Also, you are doing more than that, that's juicer code for "I'm blasting shit").
I was 500mg of test stupid fuck which isn’t trt
You are doing more... XD[…]
Caught me red handed I was on 2grams of test plus 600mg of tren with 150mg of Anavar
Neato, check your health.
I should huh bp is 175/100 and my resting hr is 115 but the gains are fucking sick brah
Dude, when the skin starts to look plastique-y is when the doubt starts. XD[Continued:]
Also, the insecurity doesn't help.
Okay bro I give up you’re beyond help.
Ok bro, check your health.
Post your physique friend. This dude isn’t juicy, just hard work by the looks of it.
Don't need to do shit because I'm not a juiced douchebag looking for validation.
Also, my skin looks normal. XD
How long have you been working out?OOP starts fighting with others over his arms:
More than you most certainly.
If that’s true that’s quite sad honestly
Nah, because I don't make my skin look like a plastic figure. XD
Dude your arm cant be bigger than 15 inch[Continued:]
My arm is quite thick for my height actually , I curl a lot with good form too. I’m just 6’4 and it’s hard to make your long arms look full
Oh nvm you are pretty tall,1,5 year is not enough then
Bro by the way you should me making these assumptions based on personal evidence and experience, not the stuff you see online. I hope you have been lifting for 5+ years to say things like that
Dude because in the picture your arm look thin,no lat visible on the front,ok chest and thats all,it pretty reasonable if you ask me
So you confirm my point that you’re talking about how to build a physique when you haven’t built it yourself. Your opinion is invalid[Continued:]
Why your ego hurt so much dude
My ego is not hurt, my patience is however, because you’re just another dude who hasn’t been working out for that long, talking off his ass, your arm is probably half fat - feel free to prove otherwise, no shame in it.
How can you say my ego is hurt when you just literally commented the silliest shit, saying this is a 1.5y physique when you probably haven’t been training for that long yourself.
Well i just compare your arm your shoulder your delt to your phone,i know you purely post this here to get some compliments because i know damn well no one will think that a not natty physique,you literally cant handle a comment from internet and im not saying your physique is bad or anything but you keep coming back
Instagram scientist.
I just measured my arm, it’s 18 inches 💀 and I’m close to 10% bf. Now think…. 🧐
Wow dude good job,do you want a cookie or sum?,dude just prove that his ego hurt so much he keep coming back even though I already stop replying
So you’re making baseless and false statements and say my ego is hurt when I just simply prove you wrong?
I rate you base off the picture,and base off the picture you look bellow 180lbs,you dont provide any stat like arm measurement,height,time frame of training…,”baseless” you provide nothing but a fucking picture
And sure i would look up “statements” of a complete fucking stranger on the internet
Okay man you win this argument. This is a 1,5y physique, you’re right. Or maybe your perception of fitness is just skewed to manlets.. :)
The Flairs:
2024.05.27 04:12 Express-Potential-11 Zen is baseless
Zen is not based on words. Now I'm sure all of you will say "ah but you're using words! Yes I am very smart". Reddit is based on words. And for the cooler subs, pictures too. They say a picture is worth 1000 words, so wouldnt Zen be based on pictures? Anyway, here's some words about how Zen is not based on words;
submitted by Express-Potential-11 to zen [link] [comments]
And there was another time when I offered our Master a poem I had written. He took it in his hands, but soon sat down and pushed it away. ‘Do you understand?’ he asked. ‘No, Master.’ ‘But wHy don’t you understand? Think a little! If things could be expressed like this with ink and paper, what would be the purpose of a sect like ours?’Ink and paper covers words and pictures too, I think.
If you produce words on top of words, phrases on top of phrases, ideas on top of ideas, making up explanations and interpretations, you will not only get me bogged down, but you'll also turn your backs on Hsueh Tau. Although old man Hsueh Tau's verse is this way, his intention is not like this. He has never made up principles to bind people.So even though Zen masters like Xuedou and Yuanwu used words, their intention wasn't for you to get bogged down in them, holding them up like they're worth anything. We know how they felt about their words because of their words. Buts that's because most communication, especially through centuries of time, are based on words. Not Zen, tho. To say Zen is based on anything misses the mark.
If you say words are it, this has no connection; if you say words are not it, this has no connection either.Watts said something along the lines of "when you get the message, hang up the phone." It's ironic that the kind of people who are adamant that Zen is based on the words of Zen Masters also imply they are the only ones who understand the message. They say that all the buddhists who translate and kept record of the words don't actually understand the message. They say the message is in the 4 statements, or that the message is understood by thinking really hard about what they say. It doesn't take a lot of thinking to understand that words are expedients. They are tools meant to be discarded when the job is done.
Words and speech are just vessels to convey the Path. Far from realizing the intent of the Ancients, people just search in their words; what grasp can they get on it? Haven't you seen how an Ancient said, "Originally the Path is wordless; with words we illustrate the Path. Once you see the Path, the words are immediately forgotten." To get to this point, you must first go back to your own original state.Is it ironic that the blue cliff record is full of words and yet a bunch of them are about how the words aren't the important part? It's just that forums like reddit, and especially rzen with their ban of image posts, depend and are based on words. But a bunch of you seem to take what they say seriously, except when it comes to forgetting about them and their words? How long will you continue to bury yourself in these words? I read BCR once. I only go back to it to pull these quotes for all the people who demand you quote Zen masters when discussing Zen.
You must avoid turning to the words for your subsistence. Why? What moisture is there in unleavened bread? People often fall back into conceptual consciousness. You must obtain your understanding before the words arise; then the great function will become manifest and you will naturally see it. This is why after old man Shakyamuni had attained the Path in the land of Magadha, he spent three weeks contemplating this matter: "The nature of all things being quiescent extinc-tion cannot be conveyed by words; I would rather not preach the Dharma, but quickly enter nirvana." When he got to this point, even Shakyamuni couldn't find any way to open his mouth. But by virtue of his power of skill in technique, after he had preached to the five mendicants, he went to three hundred and sixty assemblies and expounded the teachings for his age. All these were just expedients. For this reason he had taken off his bejewelled regal garments and put on rough dirty clothing. He could not but turn towards the shallows within the gate of the secondary meaning in order to lead in his various disciples. If we had him face upwards and bring it all up at once, there would hardly be anyone in the whole world (who could under- stand). But tell me, what is the supreme word? At this point Hsueh Tou reveals a little of the meaning to let people see. Just don't see that there are any buddhas above, don't see that there are sentient beings below; don't see that there are mountains, riv- ers, and earth without, and don't see that there are seeing, hearing, discernment, or knowledge within: then you will be like one who has died the great death and then returned to life. With long and short, good and evil, fused into one whole, though you bring them up one by one, you'll no longer see them as different. After that, you'll be able to function respon- sively without losing balance.Keep talking tho..I enjoy the content.
2024.05.26 03:54 critical_courtney [Hot Off The Press] — Chapter Nine
![[Hot Off The Press] — Chapter Nine](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/W1mdJ2RCAeqIINZWG1_F6B4tAzaQPblUEVScySgRY8c.jpg "[Hot Off The Press] — Chapter Nine") | https://preview.redd.it/ttq7y223go2d1.jpg?width=1410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0e5b7b37345f1b3aaf2a24bcea850bb0bd523c7 submitted by critical_courtney to redditserials [link] [comments] My Discord Buy me a cup of coffee (if you want) Previous Chapter Chapter Nine: (Frankie) As I drove Dad’s old green pickup truck down Congress Street toward the doctor’s office, my mind ran through the last week. Dawn had been in the newsroom every day, writing astrology columns, working with our page layout staff to design horoscopes, and pestering me to take proper meal breaks. The witch was quickly becoming a regular presence in my life, and I didn’t intend for that to happen when I hired her. I didn’t intend for a lot of things to happen, I thought, picturing how she looked in the parking lot on Mackworth Island, the evening breeze blowing her curly hair around her face like a blanket of surprises. That’s what spending time with Dawn felt like. . . constant surprises. I was surprised at how much better I ate when she was around, surprised at how much more raucous the staff seemed in the newsroom when she was around, and surprised at how much happier I was when she was around. “Earth to FeeDee! Did you hear me?” Dad’s voice brought me back to the present as he poked my shoulder. And the man had a poke that would break Facebook (haha, remember when that was a thing?). “Sorry, yeah. What? You were saying something about. . . baseball?” I guessed, flinching as my fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Dad rock played quietly from the stereo I thought I’d muted a few minutes ago. Styx, I think? Franky, Jr. chuckled. “I could tell you were lost in a thoughtstorm—” “Brainstorm,” I corrected him. “Brainstorm,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, no. Good guess. But I wasn’t asking you about baseball. I got a text from your mother. She asked us to pick up some ground turkey on the way home after the appointment.” Sighing, I nodded. “Right. Sure. Ground turkey it is.” My father put his arms behind the chair and stretched while grumbling. His Boston Blue Sox sweater wrinkled so I couldn’t see Wallie the Blue Monster’s face. The mascot was usually plastered front and center on Dad’s baseball shirts and sweaters. He loved that weird blue mascot with the orange hair. “I can’t believe your mother has us grabbing turkey again. I can taste the difference, you know? Between that and beef? It’s not nearly as sweet or crumbly,” Dad said. “And the whole wheat pasta! What a sin. I have to confess to Father Carlos every meal I eat now.” I giggled and rolled my eyes. We drove past the divided highway-ish road that was Franklin Street. It cut Portland’s peninsula in two, separating the Old Port from the houses and parks of Munjoy Hill. “Quit your bellyaching, Dad. You still get to eat pasta. And the leaner meat and added fiber are better for your heart. For fuck’s sake. It’s been a year since your trip to the ER, and you’re still griping about the food. Give it a rest, old man,” I said. Calling him “old man” usually shut him up as he spent most of his energy over the next two minutes just pouting and glaring at me while mumbling curses in Italian. I suppose I should be grateful that he didn’t complain about having to go to the gym regularly or how his bruschetta tasted different now. A worried daughter had to pick her battles. And at 30, I had more battles than I expected in life, trying not to think about the paper for once. Come on now, brain. I thought. You need to be fully present for Dad’s one-year checkup. “Okay,” my brain said. “I won’t think about the paper. How about scenes from the day Dad collapsed?” Well, shit. Fuck you too, brain, I thought. Visions of the grizzled old newspaper editor clutching his chest and falling on his side swam behind my eyes. The sound of his panicked breathing and my cries as I yelled for Richard to call 911. The silent and frantic promises I made God if he’d just save my father from whatever was trying to take him from me. And who could forget the eternity I felt between Richard’s short phone call and the paramedics rushing in with a stretcher, the questions they were asking me, and whatever gibberish I spit out in response? Leaping into the back of that ambulance and holding my dad’s hand tight while his eyes fluttered, and he grimaced. Tortuous hours standing outside an operating room offering God more frantic promises, some of which were still unfulfilled to this day. “FeeDee?” his voice called me back to the present again. “Did you hear me?” I nodded, wiping a small tear away from my left eye before he could see it. That time I’d caught the tail end of his words. “Probably about half an hour, not counting however long we’ll have to wait in Dr. Mendoza’s office.” The newspaper publisher shook his head and rubbed his clean-shaven face. “Uffa,” he muttered. “Doctors. You schedule the appointment, arrive on time, and they STILL make you wait half an hour.” My hand left the gear shift long enough to take his palm in my grasp. “Hey, it’ll be fine. We’ve got plenty of time,” I said, my brain realizing the multiple meanings of that sentence as I tried not to cry again. We drove past Remys department store, and I watched a cyclist nearly collide with a sports car as he tried to ignore the red light and zip through like the traffic laws didn’t apply to him. You would have been splatted like a bug, I thought as we continued past the art college and on toward the cardiologist’s office. “What do you think she’ll say?” Dad asked, suddenly. I shrugged. “Probably not much. I imagine she’ll tell you to cut back on dairy. Ask you how many hours you spend in the gym each week. That kind of stuff.” Franky, Jr. grunted and crossed his arms. “And if you aren’t honest with the doctor, I’ll rat you out and tell her you’re still in the newspaper office five days a week!” I said, sounding more like my mother than I intended. The man visibly flinched and immediately softened his tone. “Oh, come on, FeeDee. I’m only in the office for a few hours. It’s practically part-time work being the publisher.” While we stopped at a red light outside of Channel 7’s downtown TV station, I squinted at my father. “You still need to watch how much you’re working. I mean it. You’re not allowed to overdo it in the office. That means going home when you’re tired or not coming in at all if you’re sick. Don’t push yourself too hard, or I’ll push Dr. Mendoza to write you a note banning you from the office for six months.” Dad’s face paled as he threw up his hands. “Alright already. I’ll shave a few more hours off each week. Geez. Who raised you to be such a newsroom general?” Smiling and feeling my heart warm just before the light turned green, I turned to the grizzled newspaper veteran with a small smile and softly said, “You did, Dad.” A few minutes later, we were seated and checked into the Maine Cardiology Clinic. Dad had to fill out his insurance forms again because he was on Medicare now. He grumbled about that, too, clicking his pen a few times in frustration. The room was chilly and filled with several chairs that lacked cushions. A basic white tile floor squeaked depending on where you stepped. But what absorbed my attention was a large 125-gallon fish tank filled with an assortment of tropical plants and fish. I watched clownfish, cardinalfish, and royal gramma swim around their tank with the ease of a Windows 98 screensaver. All the while, my father continued to grunt and rub his temples trying to recall information for the medical forms. At one point, he even texted Mom. We were the only people in the waiting area aside from a grandpa and his grandson doing one of those I Spy books together. You’re missing the fish, bub! I thought, not understanding how a kid would prefer to be looking for a magnifying glass or an orange shoe on a table of clutter. “Eh, whatever,” I muttered, watching one of the clownfish dart to a toy pirate ship at the bottom of the tank. When Dad came back from the receptionist, and I heard the sliding glass door clatter shut, I looked up and flashed him a smile. He did that boomer guy groan and sighed as he sat down in the chair next to me. I rolled my eyes. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “So. . . you see the April report I sent you this morning?” My heart sank as I recalled the glum spreadsheet he’d sent me. The Lighthouse-Journal numbers weren’t great. “Print ad revenue down 17 percent. Subscriber counts down nine percent. Digital ad revenue is up two percent, but it’s a bucket compared to an ocean,” he said. He was right, of course. Digital ad sales weren’t ever going to make up for what commercial print revenue was 30-40 years ago, the very things that allowed newspapers to staff a wide variety of beats from recipe editors to Washington correspondents to film and theatre critics. You’d have reporters at every fucking civic meeting from planning committees to school boards to library oversight groups, and more. Now, we were lucky to have a reporter at every Portland City Council meeting. And depending on the agenda, we might not. “What do you think, sweetie? Should we reconsider the offer from Aidan Global Capital? Because at this rate, we’ll be lucky if the paper makes it another three years.” Dad’s tone wasn’t defeatist. He hated the idea of a New York equity firm buying what our family built as much as I did. Well. . . almost. I clutched my fists in my lap. With my shoulders hunched, I ran through the numbers again. The same figures I’d burned into my skull every night before bed. If our revenue decline continued, we’d have to make more cuts. In six months, we’d stop being a daily paper and cut the Monday edition. In 12 months, we’d cut Monday and Tuesday editions of the paper. In 18 months, I would have to downsize our staff again and maybe look at outsourcing things like page layout to a cheaper graphic design firm elsewhere in the country. I’d gotten quotes from places in Kentucky and Oklahoma where other newspapers had already made this difficult choice. It was a nosedive that, if not improved soon, would see our paper decline in quality to the point that we’d have to take it out back and Old Yeller the bitch. That was preferable to Aiden Global Capital running the place. I’d seen the newspapers they’d bought out and stripped to skeleton crews, starved the page counts, and diluted their articles with AP wire content. For those motherfuckers, it’s always about bleeding as much profit from the news rag as possible, I thought. And when they just can’t bleed anymore, they shutter the publication. That’s how you got news deserts where communities didn’t have people to tell them who would be on the ballot or what the city council decided at their meeting on Tuesday. “I think. . . we need to have faith,” I said, trying to pull out of my mental tailspin. “In God saving our paper?” Shrugging, I smiled. “Perhaps. And maybe he’ll do it through this plucky new astrology editor we just hired. You saw her demographics. She doesn’t just have a wide national audience, but a lot of listeners here in Portland as well. When they get wind of the new content she’s producing for our paper, I have faith enough will subscribe to reverse our recent trends,” I said. Dad nodded and then rubbed his chin. “I guess we’ll see. I hope for all of our sakes the new girl can pull it off,” he said. Then his grin grew cheesy. “And, hey, if she doesn’t work out as a newspaper editor, maybe she’ll work out as a girlfriend.” Coughing on my saliva like only a true cringe master was capable of, I leaned forward and gasped for air, sputtering in the most embarrassing display. When I could speak again and stop feeling the phantom sensations of Dawn’s fingers squeezing the back of my neck while we made out, I turned to Franky, Jr. whose face was red with booming laughter. The grandfather and grandson stared at us with befuddled faces as I scowled. “That’s not even remotely funny,” I hissed. “You’re right, FeeDee. It’s not funny. . . it’s hilarious,” he said before slapping his knee and throwing his head back in laughter again. I crossed my arms. “She’s just a coworker,” I muttered, feeling the memory of what I’d said to Dawn on the island rushing into my head with a shrieking voice calling, “LIAR!” Dad nodded. “A coworker you spent hours with on Macworth Island last week?” “That’s exactly it!” I snapped. “Name one other coworker from the newsroom you would go hiking with,” he said, cocking his head to the side. I scrolled through the list of names on our payroll. “Ghost,” I said, confidently. “Ghost wouldn’t hike if every computer and cell phone on the planet spontaneously combusted. You wanna try again or just save me the time and admit —” My father was interrupted by a nurse walking into the waiting room and calling his name. Saved by the medical staff, I thought. I watched as my father was weighed, had blood work taken, heartrate monitored and listened to by three different devices, and finally a conversation with Dr. Mendoza, who looked over his numbers on her computer screen. She sat on a red stool, legs crossed, long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. The doctor was around my age and looked like she’d just finished her certifications. But her brown eyes were full of confidence. The white coat covering her russet brown skin wrinkled a bit when she leaned forward to speak with my father. “Well, Mr. Ricci, the numbers on my screen show a recovery that’s roughly in line with someone who was on an operating room table a year ago. Ms. Ricci tells me you’ve been exercising more and adjusting your diet as needed. So that’s promising. But why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling?” Dad wasn’t one to complain. But his doctor was giving him an opportunity to ask questions and really listen to him, so the inky wretch sighed and asked, “How long will it take for me to feel. . . not so tired again?” Dr. Mendoza cocked her head to the side. “Are you dealing with a lot of fatigue?” He shrugged. “Things just. . . seem to take a lot more out of me than they did before. And I’m not used to that. It’s a little frustrating, to be honest. I figured six, eight, even 12 months later that feeling would fade, but it hasn’t.” Looking back at the screen again before answering, Dr. Mendoza nodded. “Well, Mr. Ricci, I think you’re a patient with heart trouble recovering in your mid-60s. And while you’ve made adjustments to physical activity and diet, you might just have to accept the fact that age and the heart attack have slowed your pace a little bit. It’s not uncommon for men in your demographic to feel this way even years after surgery.” My father didn’t interrupt her. “But I view this as a chance to reshift your priorities in life. You’re still putting. . . what? 12-15 hours a week in at the newspaper? In addition to hitting the gym three or four days a week? That’s a decent load for a lot of people. If you’re finding yourself increasingly fatigued, maybe lighten your workload and replace it with a new hobby, something not as stressful. And if you still find yourself wanting more energy, I’m happy to refer you to a nutritionist who can help you figure out if different vitamins or further changes to your meals might help.” With a chuckle, my father leaned back on the patient bed. “So, what you’re telling me is. . . I’m getting old?” Dr. Mendoza leaned a little closer and without even a hint of bashfulness in her voice said, “Franky, you’ve been old for years now. It ain’t something new.” The room went silent. And then, in unison, my father and I slapped our knees and laughed until I’m sure the nurses outside were staring at our exam room door in confusion. When we quieted down, Dr. Mendoza turned off her computer monitor and said, “But you know what? My father would say he’s earned those years and that growing old is a privilege. Not everyone is granted that gift, to walk so far along the path.” “Amen,” my father said. “Do you have any more questions?” He shook his head. “Then I’ll look forward to seeing you in six months, Mr. Ricci. Think about what I said. You’ve worked hard all your life. And from looking at Ms. Ricci, I can tell you taught her the same thing. How’s your health?” I shook my head, caught off guard by the shift in her attention. After realizing I hadn’t said words, I finally spoke up, “All quiet on that front.” She raised an eyebrow and hid a smile. “Heart conditions are sometimes passed down from parents to their kids. With your grandfather having died from a heart attack and your father nearly suffering the same fate, I’d just keep an eye on yourself, yeah? Since your father is a patient here, you can always schedule an appointment for an exam, and we’d get you booked for just a couple of weeks out.” I showed her my palms and stood to grab my purse. “I appreciate the offer. And I’ll keep an eye on my ticker, bub. But for now, I’ve got nothing to report, Dr. Mendoza.” She nodded. “I’ll leave you both, then. You can schedule your next appointment at the front desk. Take care, Mr. Ricci. And you too,” she said, winking at me. I fought a scowl. Back in the pickup truck, I sighed. “Something wrong, FeeDee?” I started the vehicle, and the air kicked on with its usual old stale smell. “I. . . want you to consider what the doctor said about cutting even more hours at the paper,” I said. Dad crossed his arms. “Oh, I’m just a little tired here and there. It’s not a big deal —” he said before I interrupted him. “Please! I just. . . think about what happened to Grandpa. And what almost happened to you. It was really close, Dad.” I was fighting back tears while my father was fighting back an argument. “If you won’t listen to your cardiologist, you should listen to me. I’m your daughter, and I need you to take care of yourself for me because. . . I still need you. I always will.” Watching his face turn downward, I sighed again. For a minute, the truck engine was all we heard. The vehicle was old but still had a few miles left in it. And we needed every single one it could spare. “Okay, FeeDee. Okay. I’ll take Mondays off. Maybe I’ll go fishing again. Is that better?” Nodding, I took his hand in mine. “Thank you.” Another beat of silence. “So. . . turkey?” he asked. “Turkey,” I said, and off we went to the market. |
2024.05.26 00:44 SignificantSelf5987 AITAH for cutting my mother's side of the family out of my life?
Okay so this is gonna take a lot of backstory. Like back when I was 8 to recently around my 21st. So prepare yourself for a lot of reading. Or if you don't want backstory, just skip to the last 7 or so paragraphs. (About here; "Now we'll skip to a more recent time. Gma F and Gpa G got a divorce.")
Alright so I'll start with my childhood; my mother and dad were together until I was about 4 or 5. I had two siblings, a brother and a sister. And an older brother who passed when he was a couple months old. (Which was partially my mother's fault, but a monumental failure from the hospital. I'll explain that later.) My mother would let us visit our dad, and we were always happier when we came back. So she moved. Up and left and didn't tell him. He found out when he came to pay the rent that she had left and took us. Still he'd come pick us up from school for a little while to take us to go get clothes, and McDonald's and spend tine with us one on one.
After the move our mother began to say that our dad left us because he didn't love us anymore. That we were worthless to him. Not knowing that he left her because she was cheating with a dude and had slept with him multiple times in their bed. That's when her new bf, N, came in. Immediately I could tell he was gonna be a dick, abd I was right. He was a drunk. Abusive towards us. But our mother didn't care. She joined in the abuse sometimes as well. Never towards the other two. Just me.
I'll skip ahead now to when I was 8. One day I got tired of the lies she kept spouting. She started telling us that our dad left us because he didn't love us, and that he was a deadbeat, and all this other bullshit. I told her she was lying and said I'd call to prove it. She got pissed off, and N dragged my by my ear down the stairs and threw me outside, saying "And we gonna go swimming later too." Before locking the front door. I as an 8 year old freaked the fuck out because I didn't understand what was happening. A bit later my dad showed up after leaving work and dropping everything to come get me. My mother called him screaming to come get me, and so he did. She then brought out some of my clothes in a blck trash bag, threw it at his car and said "here's his shit." Before going back inside. N came out about a minute after to tell my dad, and this is a direct quote, "You need to teach the lil nigga some respect." My dad said that had I not been there when he said that, N would probably still be in the hospital. But since I was there, he just let it go.
I won't go into detail about my life with my dad and my grandma on his side since it was really good, but I still had trouble with everything. Even attempting to cancel my subscription to life when I was 13 because, "My mom doesn't love me, so maybe I'm just too broken to fix."
Anyway, eventually my mother let my siblings visit me and my dad. For about a year they'd come over for a few days and they'd always seem sad to leave. But to keep our mother from being herself they had to go back. Once again though, she moved, changed ger number, and I didn't see them unless I went over for holidays. I made my own visitation schedule. I'd alternate holidays. If I spent Thanksgiving with my dad, then I'd go with my mother's family for Christmas etc. then next year would switch. I eventually stopped going all together.
With my mother's family comes some new characters Gma F, Unc G, and Gpa G. Gpa G was my grandpa. He was racist, and always made jokes picking at my appearance. I remember we went to a farm town where we live, and he took me and my two siblings to a cotton field. I found it quite interesting at the time, not realizing anything wrong with it until much later in life. Gma F and Unc G were fine until recently. More on those three a bit later.
When I would go to visit my mother would always try to get me to come back. I didn't want to go back though. Then some family member starting saying things that didn't make sense to me. Like I left of my own volition. I just didn't like the rules at her house. And perhaps thw worst lie is that I beat my little brother with a metal pole. Soon after all the lies, and getting picked on took it's toll on me, so I stopled going as frequently. I'd stay for a couple hours on holidays then go home. If no one would take me home, I'd have someone come pick me up.
Now we'll skip to a more recent time. Gma F and Gpa G got a divorce. I told Gpa G that he's still my grandpa because he's literally been there my entire life despite the racism and jokes. I don't talk to him much because he's one of those alpha male guys, but I'll check up on hin every once in a while. Ask him if he wants to go get lunch somewhere and catch up, if he needs help with anything etc. Around this time my brother pulled a 250iq play to leave my mother's house and never come back, which is when he came to stay with my dad. One of the most heartwarming meetings ever. I told my dad my car was making a weird noise and smoking and he came out to see his son he hadn't been able to see in years (if you don't count the fact he saw him briefly at one of his guitar concerts and his graduation thanks to some help from Gpa G)
Around this time with the divorce, and my brother escaping Gma F and Unc G started acted strange. Christmas that year was at my mother's house instead of Gma F's house. Gma F and Unc G never showed up though. They were sick. So sick in fact they hadn't answered me or my brother's Happy Thanksgiving, or Merry Christmas texts. In fact even Halloween was ignored. Every holiday text was ignored until the next Thanksgiving. Only Gma F answered me. With a plain Happy Thanksgiving, instead of the usual picture thing they normally send.
And so I asked a simple question to both of them; What did I do? Still no answer to this day.
Eventually my grandma on my dad's side sent a text to Unc G asking what was going on. His reply was, "The fact that they don't know what they did is the problem itself. They need to grow up and figure it out." Neither of us did anything. I'm assuming It's because I still talked to Gpa G, but I'm not gonna just drop contact with someone who literally watched me grow up, racist or not. He held me when I was the size of a damn football for Christ's sake.
So I sent a text in a group chat to both of them. I dont know what I said verbatim, but I know pretty much what I said. "Hey I don't know what it is that I did wrong for you guys to just randomly ignore me, but I'd like to know. You're both acting like petulant children throwing a temper tantrum, and not using tour words. If I did something wrong tell me what I did. I genuinely have done nothing to hurt either of you in any way, shape, or form and it's frustrating. Tell me what it is I did wrong. What do I have to apologize for? If I apologize for something that I don't know I'm apologizing for, then it'll just seem insincere, so please tell me what I did."
A week went by with no response. And so I sent one last text to this group chat. "I've sinced changed my mind. It's clear to me you're not going to try to resolve this issue, despite my efforts to try and solve it. I no longer wish to try and fix this rift between us. Maybe sometime in the future we can try to fix things, but right now I cant. I've let this affect me far too much for far tok long, and I just can't keeo doing this anymore. So I wish you both the best, and hope that maybe one day in the future we can repair the bridges between us. Have a good day." That text is also unanswered.
Okay I think that's about it. This happened a few months ago and it's been eating at me. Am I in the wrong? Should I have been more persitant in finding out what I did? Should I talk to them? I just don't know anymore. The way I was raised is that family is the most important and valuable thing we have, and just removing them from my life feels really bad. So AITAH?
submitted by SignificantSelf5987 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Alright so I'll start with my childhood; my mother and dad were together until I was about 4 or 5. I had two siblings, a brother and a sister. And an older brother who passed when he was a couple months old. (Which was partially my mother's fault, but a monumental failure from the hospital. I'll explain that later.) My mother would let us visit our dad, and we were always happier when we came back. So she moved. Up and left and didn't tell him. He found out when he came to pay the rent that she had left and took us. Still he'd come pick us up from school for a little while to take us to go get clothes, and McDonald's and spend tine with us one on one.
After the move our mother began to say that our dad left us because he didn't love us anymore. That we were worthless to him. Not knowing that he left her because she was cheating with a dude and had slept with him multiple times in their bed. That's when her new bf, N, came in. Immediately I could tell he was gonna be a dick, abd I was right. He was a drunk. Abusive towards us. But our mother didn't care. She joined in the abuse sometimes as well. Never towards the other two. Just me.
I'll skip ahead now to when I was 8. One day I got tired of the lies she kept spouting. She started telling us that our dad left us because he didn't love us, and that he was a deadbeat, and all this other bullshit. I told her she was lying and said I'd call to prove it. She got pissed off, and N dragged my by my ear down the stairs and threw me outside, saying "And we gonna go swimming later too." Before locking the front door. I as an 8 year old freaked the fuck out because I didn't understand what was happening. A bit later my dad showed up after leaving work and dropping everything to come get me. My mother called him screaming to come get me, and so he did. She then brought out some of my clothes in a blck trash bag, threw it at his car and said "here's his shit." Before going back inside. N came out about a minute after to tell my dad, and this is a direct quote, "You need to teach the lil nigga some respect." My dad said that had I not been there when he said that, N would probably still be in the hospital. But since I was there, he just let it go.
I won't go into detail about my life with my dad and my grandma on his side since it was really good, but I still had trouble with everything. Even attempting to cancel my subscription to life when I was 13 because, "My mom doesn't love me, so maybe I'm just too broken to fix."
Anyway, eventually my mother let my siblings visit me and my dad. For about a year they'd come over for a few days and they'd always seem sad to leave. But to keep our mother from being herself they had to go back. Once again though, she moved, changed ger number, and I didn't see them unless I went over for holidays. I made my own visitation schedule. I'd alternate holidays. If I spent Thanksgiving with my dad, then I'd go with my mother's family for Christmas etc. then next year would switch. I eventually stopped going all together.
With my mother's family comes some new characters Gma F, Unc G, and Gpa G. Gpa G was my grandpa. He was racist, and always made jokes picking at my appearance. I remember we went to a farm town where we live, and he took me and my two siblings to a cotton field. I found it quite interesting at the time, not realizing anything wrong with it until much later in life. Gma F and Unc G were fine until recently. More on those three a bit later.
When I would go to visit my mother would always try to get me to come back. I didn't want to go back though. Then some family member starting saying things that didn't make sense to me. Like I left of my own volition. I just didn't like the rules at her house. And perhaps thw worst lie is that I beat my little brother with a metal pole. Soon after all the lies, and getting picked on took it's toll on me, so I stopled going as frequently. I'd stay for a couple hours on holidays then go home. If no one would take me home, I'd have someone come pick me up.
Now we'll skip to a more recent time. Gma F and Gpa G got a divorce. I told Gpa G that he's still my grandpa because he's literally been there my entire life despite the racism and jokes. I don't talk to him much because he's one of those alpha male guys, but I'll check up on hin every once in a while. Ask him if he wants to go get lunch somewhere and catch up, if he needs help with anything etc. Around this time my brother pulled a 250iq play to leave my mother's house and never come back, which is when he came to stay with my dad. One of the most heartwarming meetings ever. I told my dad my car was making a weird noise and smoking and he came out to see his son he hadn't been able to see in years (if you don't count the fact he saw him briefly at one of his guitar concerts and his graduation thanks to some help from Gpa G)
Around this time with the divorce, and my brother escaping Gma F and Unc G started acted strange. Christmas that year was at my mother's house instead of Gma F's house. Gma F and Unc G never showed up though. They were sick. So sick in fact they hadn't answered me or my brother's Happy Thanksgiving, or Merry Christmas texts. In fact even Halloween was ignored. Every holiday text was ignored until the next Thanksgiving. Only Gma F answered me. With a plain Happy Thanksgiving, instead of the usual picture thing they normally send.
And so I asked a simple question to both of them; What did I do? Still no answer to this day.
Eventually my grandma on my dad's side sent a text to Unc G asking what was going on. His reply was, "The fact that they don't know what they did is the problem itself. They need to grow up and figure it out." Neither of us did anything. I'm assuming It's because I still talked to Gpa G, but I'm not gonna just drop contact with someone who literally watched me grow up, racist or not. He held me when I was the size of a damn football for Christ's sake.
So I sent a text in a group chat to both of them. I dont know what I said verbatim, but I know pretty much what I said. "Hey I don't know what it is that I did wrong for you guys to just randomly ignore me, but I'd like to know. You're both acting like petulant children throwing a temper tantrum, and not using tour words. If I did something wrong tell me what I did. I genuinely have done nothing to hurt either of you in any way, shape, or form and it's frustrating. Tell me what it is I did wrong. What do I have to apologize for? If I apologize for something that I don't know I'm apologizing for, then it'll just seem insincere, so please tell me what I did."
A week went by with no response. And so I sent one last text to this group chat. "I've sinced changed my mind. It's clear to me you're not going to try to resolve this issue, despite my efforts to try and solve it. I no longer wish to try and fix this rift between us. Maybe sometime in the future we can try to fix things, but right now I cant. I've let this affect me far too much for far tok long, and I just can't keeo doing this anymore. So I wish you both the best, and hope that maybe one day in the future we can repair the bridges between us. Have a good day." That text is also unanswered.
Okay I think that's about it. This happened a few months ago and it's been eating at me. Am I in the wrong? Should I have been more persitant in finding out what I did? Should I talk to them? I just don't know anymore. The way I was raised is that family is the most important and valuable thing we have, and just removing them from my life feels really bad. So AITAH?
2024.05.25 22:27 AspecialkindofWeird [Hiring], an artist for a transgender memoir book cover
Hi everyone!
I'm currently looking for an artist for my memoir novel, The Insignificant. I'd want it to be a male statue (think roman sculpture) from the chin down and pubic area up. I want the arm, chest and waist to be crumbled away to reveal a female statue underneath: a more shapely waist, a breast, etc. I'd like there to be a cloth covering the private parts. As for the style, perhaps a mix of realism with fantasy? Think of yourself as walking into an overgrown garden and stumbling upon the statue.
If you are interested, send me your information, and if it catches my eye I'll contact you with more details/pictures of what I'm looking for. If chosen and you are in California, I'd be honored to invite you to the book launch for you to promote your work if interested. I predict the book will be ready to launch by end of year or beginning of next.
My budget for this is $200-300, and I have no deadline to be met. The price that you quote should include commercial rights for the art.
This listing will remain open until I've finalized a deal with an artist. If I haven't flagged it as closed, feel free to send me your portfolio - I'll try to contact each person to decline.
Thanks!
Edit: if you have any sculpture art, or art of statues, anything with marble, stone, etc., please share! I'd like to see the color scheme and texture used for some reference.
submitted by AspecialkindofWeird to HungryArtists [link] [comments]
I'm currently looking for an artist for my memoir novel, The Insignificant. I'd want it to be a male statue (think roman sculpture) from the chin down and pubic area up. I want the arm, chest and waist to be crumbled away to reveal a female statue underneath: a more shapely waist, a breast, etc. I'd like there to be a cloth covering the private parts. As for the style, perhaps a mix of realism with fantasy? Think of yourself as walking into an overgrown garden and stumbling upon the statue.
If you are interested, send me your information, and if it catches my eye I'll contact you with more details/pictures of what I'm looking for. If chosen and you are in California, I'd be honored to invite you to the book launch for you to promote your work if interested. I predict the book will be ready to launch by end of year or beginning of next.
My budget for this is $200-300, and I have no deadline to be met. The price that you quote should include commercial rights for the art.
This listing will remain open until I've finalized a deal with an artist. If I haven't flagged it as closed, feel free to send me your portfolio - I'll try to contact each person to decline.
Thanks!
Edit: if you have any sculpture art, or art of statues, anything with marble, stone, etc., please share! I'd like to see the color scheme and texture used for some reference.