Dr. Timothy McGrew came up with a way of filtering credible miracle claims from those not worth investigating. I believe Jesus' earthly miracles pass McGrew's filter.
D.--"D" is for "distance". Claims about events in a faraway land, without the presence of a chain that would preserve transmission, should not be worthy of investigation. However, the gospels were circulated within a lifetime of local eyewitnesses.
O. --"Opinions already established". Essentially, these are political, ideological, or religious justifications of a certain regime or attempts to maintain the status quo. In contrast, Jesus's miracles were sometimes specifically aimed at calling aspects of Jewish law into question. Jesus was very much a cultural revolutionary, dining with sinners and tax collectors.
U.--"Uncertain Events". If there are naturalistic theories available--fraud, trickery, the placebo effect, or simply spontaneous recovery with documented predecessors--these should be called into question. However, when we examine the gospel texts, numerous alleged miracles could not be reproduced by the best magicians today. What is more telling, however, is that the miracle accounts appear very tidy and direct, and served no obvious human motivations.
B.--"Belated Reports". If a miracle claim is made, for the first time, when any eyewitnesses would be dead, then those claims should be dismissed. In contrast, we have multiple lines of evidence for Jesus' miracles. Miracles were also mentioned casually in Paul's writings.
Additionally, compare the miracle accounts in Mark to any other gospel. Future writers were equally likely to take elements of the story away, as they were to add elements.
T. --"Trivial Miracles". These claims are usually about frivolous supernatural activity. The difference between "magick" and "miracles" is that magick is simply a display of power or a manipulation. In contrast, plausible miracles are "signs" at important juncture in religious history. That's very different from using dowsing rods to locate a lost pair of glasses.
S.--"Self-Serving Miracles". Fraudulent miracle workers will fake authenticity, but the rest of their life and behavior exposes them. For example, both Joseph Smith and Mohammed wanted political power and access to many women and girls. They also achieved celebrity status in their lifetime.
In contrast, Jesus' miracles were meant to bring about the Kingdom of God. The gospel writers could have focused on Jesus as a doer of astonishing deeds, but they do not. Often Jesus instructs recipients to keep the miracle a secret.
Moreover, unlike any pagan parallels, Jesus always combined teaching with His miracles. If He was objecting to holiness codes, He would lay His hands on an unclean person. Otherwise, Jesus lead a nomadic life and shows no interest in sexual gratification.
While Jesus acted in God's place, He also would frequently insist that He's doing it through the Father, and for the Father's will. Jesus advocated "The Kingdom of God", but it wasn't a violent revolutionary Kingdom. As He said to Pilot "my Kingdom is not of this world, otherwise my men would fight".
So, Jesus likely lacked every motivator for fraud. He had no interest in money, sex, having good reputation among religious leaders or commoners, or in gaining political power. Finally, Jesus was put to death for His claims--and although it's not admitted by the overwhelming majority, it's highly likely Jesus knew what was going to be the end result.

Analysis of Consciousness
One of the Abhidhamma's most important contributions to human thought, though still insufficiently known and utilized, is the analysis and classification of consciousness undertaken in the first of the Dhammasangani. Here the human mind, so evanescent and elusive, has for the first time been subjected to a comprehensive, thorough and unprejudiced scrutiny, which definitely disposes of the notion that any kind of static unity or underlying substance can be traced in mind. However, the basic ethical lay-out and purpose of this psychology effectively prevents conclusions of ethical materialism or theoretical and practical amoralism being derived from its realistic and unmetaphysical analysis of mind.
The method of investigation applied in the Abhidhamma is inductive, being based exclusively on an unprejudiced and subtle introspective observation of mental processes. The procedure used in the Dhammasangani for the analysis of consciousness is precisely that postulated by the English philosopher and mathematician, A. N. Whitehead: 'It is impossible to over-emphasize the point that the key to the process of induction, as used either in science or in our ordinary life, is to be found in the right understanding of the immediate occasion of knowledge in its full concreteness...In any occasion of cognition, that which is known is an actual occasion of experience, as diversified by reference to a realm of entities which transcend that immediate occasion in that they have analogous or different connections with other occasions of experience' ('Science and the Modern World').
Whitehead's term 'occasion' corresponds to the Abhidhamma concept samaya (time, occasion, conjunction of circumstances), which occurs in all principal paragraphs of the Dhammasangani, and there denotes the starting point of the analysis. The term receives a detailed and very instructive treatment in the Atthasalini the commentary to the aforementioned work.
The Buddha succeeded in reducing this 'immediate occasion' of an act of cognition to a single moment of consciousness, which, however, in its subtlety and evanescence, cannot be observed, directly and separately, by a mind untrained in introspective meditation. Just as the minute living beings in the microcosm of a drop of water become visible only through a microscope, so, too, the exceedingly short-lived processes in the world of mind become cognizable only with the help of a very subtle instrument of mental scrutiny, and that only obtains as a result of meditative training. None but the kind of introspective mindfulness or attention (sati) that has acquired, in meditative absorption, a high degree of inner equipoise, purity and firmness (upekkha-sati-parisuddhi), will possess the keenness, subtlety and quickness of cognitive response required for such delicate mental microscopy. Without that meditative preparation only the way of inference from comparisons between various complete or fragmentary series of thought moments will be open as a means of research. But this approach too may yield important and reliable results, if cautious and intelligent use is made of one's own introspective results and of the psychological data of meditative experience found in Sutta and Abhidhamma.
In the Anupada Sutta (Majjhima Nikaya 111) it is reported that the Venerable Sariputta Thera, after rising from meditative absorption (jhana) was able to analyse the respective jhanic consciousness into its constituent mental factors. This may be regarded as a precursor of the more detailed analysis given in the Dhammasangani.
Let us listen to a voice from Indian antiquity appreciating the difficulty of that analytical work and the greatness of its achievement. We read in the 'Questions of King Milinda'; "A difficult feat indeed was accomplished, O great King, by the Exalted One" -- "Which was that difficult feat, O venerable Nagasena?" - "The Exalted One, O king, has accomplished a difficult task when he analysed a mental process having a single object as consisting of consciousness with its concomitants, as follows: 'This is sense-impression, this is feeling, perception, volition, consciousness." - "Give an illustration of it, venerable sir" - "Suppose, O king, a man has gone to the sea by boat and takes with the hollow of his hand a little sea water and tastes it. Will this man know, 'This is water from the Ganges, this is water from such other rivers as Jamuna, Aciravati etc.?" - "He can hardly know that." - "But a still more difficult task, O king, was accomplished by the Exalted One when he analysed a mental process having a single object, as consisting of consciousness with its concomitants."
The rather terse and abstract form in which the Dhammasangani presents its subject matter, the analysis of mind, should not mislead the reader into making him believe that he is confronted with a typical product of late scholastic thought. When, in the course of closer study, he notices the admirable inner consistency of the system, and gradually becomes aware of many of its subtle points and far-reaching implications, he will become convinced that at least the fundamental outlines and the key notes of Abhidhamma psychology must be the result of a profound intuition gained through direct and penetrative introspection. It will appear to him increasingly improbable that the essence of the Abhidhamma should be the product of a cumbersome process of discursive thinking and artificial thought-constructions. This impression of the essentially intuitive origin of the Abhidhammic mind-doctrine will also strengthen his conviction that the elements of the Dhammasangani and the Patthana must be ascribed to the Buddha himself and his early great and holy disciples. What is called 'scholastic thought', which has its merit in its own sphere and does not deserve wholesale condemnation, may have had its share later in formulating, elaborating and codifying the teachings concerned.
If we turn from the Abhidhamma to the highest contemporary achievements of non-Buddhist Indian thought in the field of mind and 'soul', i.e. the early Upanishads and the early Samkhya, we find that apart from single great intuitions, they teem with mythological ritualistic terms, and with abstract speculative concepts. Against that background the realistic sober and scientific spirit of Abhidhamma psychology (or its nucleus extant in the Sutta period) must have stood out very strongly. To those who could appreciate the import of that contrast, it will have sufficed to instil that high esteem and admiration for the Abhidhamma of which we have spoken.
But even if compared with most of the later psychological teachings of the East or the West, the distance from Abhidhamma psychology remains fundamentally the same, for only the Buddha's teaching on mind keeps entirely free from the notions of self, ego, soul, or any other permanent entity in, or behind, mind.
Buddhist Analysis of Consciousness

What are your observations?

So i have some experience with making contracts to sell a home. I’m careful to avoid any closing expenses I should not necessarily pay by crafting the contract to show all loan/funding expenses are paid 100% by the buyer.
The buyers lender sent an email to both parties stating the split on the document fee is “typically” split between buyer and seller and went on to say we should change the contract.
In response I pointed to the paragraph above the splits that states if an item is not marked it falls to the buyer to pay and left it at that. I have not heard front the lender or the buyers on the subject, which I consider closed.
What has me P*ssed is what business does the lender have to influence a signed and sealed contract? I do understand some loans (VA for example) have certain rules on splits, but this is a conventional loan. I think filing a complaint is in order - or AITA and taking this too seriously? It’s not about the $100 cost to me, it’s a concern that I have no idea what the lender is saying to the buyers that might cast doubt on our deal.
What say you? Let it go or file a formal complaint?

Hello Y'all! I am just reposting the update and adding some insights in case my last post was removed.
OLD POST << Hello, folks! Some people here must have seen my last post about my experience with folliculitis and how it wouldn't stop coming back no matter what I did ( even after a ton of antibiotics and other medication for 6 months ) and I think I found out why. After endless textbooks and science papers, I finally came across some interesting papers :

• Cutaneous larva migrans with folliculitis: report of seven cases and review of the literature ( the most important )

⦁ Hookworm-Related Cutaneous Larva Migrans by Patrick Hochedez and Eric Caumes on Oxford Academic ( PDF online, this one contains very in depth information ) (( Just click on doi ))
⦁ Hookworm: An Uncommon Cause of Folliculitis in Travelers on Pubmed ( PDF online )
⦁ Hookworm folliculitis by Khaled Ezzedine and Thierry Pistone also on Pubmed
⦁ A Creeping holiday souvenir : about a misleading case of hookworm folliculitis on Oxford Academic.
There's a parasite that is so small and easily caught ( they come from animals, mostly dogs and cats ) that has the same characteristics of bacterial folliculitis. In fact, in some of these papers, it is said that if the antibiotics and nothing else works, it's probably this thing. They don't appear on blood tests and sometimes you can't see them even with a biopsy.
( Doctors found out because of a guess, actually. )
One thing that I did not find on textbooks and was surprised to read is: bacterial folliculitis rarely itches. Itching is the main sympton of parasitic folliculitis, in fact, the itching is worse at night. Although it was studied in 1929 at first and they are found everywhere ( principally in tropical and subtropical countries) most doctors end up missing the clues because these little f**ks are not that well known and they don't show the usual characteristics that parasites show ( for example, at first I thought they were scabies, but mine are not contagious so I ruled it out ) but this kind of parasite can be non contagious too.
By the way, I must specify that other kinds of folliculitis CAN itch too. Here they are talking about the difference between bacterial and parasitic folliculitis.
So it explains those past symptoms that I previously talked about :
⦁ Comes back after medication even if weeks later.
⦁ Sugar can make it worse ( parasites like that )
⦁ Heat and sweat make it worse.
⦁ There are no other symptoms like fever or pain ( apparently, the larvae can't reach deeper skin, so it stays trapped on the outer layers of skin. )
⦁ The lesions appear some days after first contact and can take very few days to appear other lesions.
⦁ The lesions follow a TRAIL. They can be linear or just jump from one place to another. They are always close initially before going onto other places.
⦁ It started on my thighs, but besides the thigh it is also common to appear first on the skin of your feet or above the gluteous. And then it goes to the rest of your body.
Yeah, so Doctors can end up misdiagnosing because it can look like scabies or bacterial folliculitis. As one of the papers said, it can last years because the parasite can die but come back. A person can get them anywhere but it's most common to get them after having contact with water or soil contaminated, even stepping on it for a second can be enough.
Another interesting thing is that infections of the skin can look different on everyone, no matter the race, so sometimes they can be parasitic but look like bacterial, virus, fungus folliculitis. Most of them usually have a brown dot in the middle though.
So I ask you guys to read those papers, they may help you. They talk about the medication that was used and apparently it's rare for them to have side effects, and of course, be careful with self medication, if you can please contact a medically qualified professional. I know that choice is not available to everyone but if you can, a second opinion can be very helpful.
Today I went to check with my doctor and everyone was very happy to confirm that that was the actual problem. So I am happy to share this information with you guys.
Cheers! >>
UPDATE ( 2 )
It's working. As I answered someone else back there " The good news is that was exactly the problem. The bad news is that folliculitis is a very uncommon thing to get when it comes to parasites and it's the hardest to get rid of, unfortunately. They basically say " It's hard to get rid of, take the meds until it's gone" because that's something that doesn't happen every day and the doctors and scientists are kind of not totally sure what to do. So I'm taking 12mg ivermectin every monday ( two pills of 6mg ) because that's usually what people do and works most of the time. At the start I had them all over my body, but then months later I took ivermectin for three days and they kind of died, so I had to stop taking any kind of medication for 30 days to take another lab test, but surprise, the lesions did not grow like before ( every 3 days ) , for a whole month I only got two or three new ones and they would die almost immediately. It really depends on the person how many times you'll have to take the medication, in my case , my immune system and overall health is not the best so it makes a bit of sense that it's taking a while."
I'll add a part of Cutaneous larva migrans with folliculitis: report of seven cases and review of the literature here as for some reason the paper is not uploading :
[ We reviewed all cases that were seen in our department from April 1991 to April 2000 of CLM in which creeping eruption was associated with folliculitis. Patients were included if they presented with localized folliculitis and creeping eruption. Folliculitis was defined as pustular follicular cutaneous lesions. Creeping eruption was defined as one (or more) linear or serpiginous mobile cutaneous track(s). The following information was recorded: age, sex, recent travel history, country visited, time from return to clinical onset and presentation, clinical signs, treatment and outcome. All the patients received oral antihelminthic agents, plus topical treatment in one case. Treatment options for CLM in our department include a single dose of oral ivermectin 12 mg weekly until cure, and oral albendazole 400 mg twice daily for three consecutive days.
Five patients were cured with one to three courses of ivermectin (unit dose 12 mg), including one also treated with thiabendazole ointment. Two patients were cured with albendazole 400 mg twice daily for three consecutive days. Lesions of folliculitis took longer to clear than those of creeping eruption.
Folliculitis is an uncommon clinical form of CLM, as only five cases have been reported in the literature. However, it may be more frequent than previously thought. For example, in a 2-year prospective study, CLM was observed in 69 patients, two of whom also had hookworm folliculitis. Folliculitis in a patient returning from (or residing in) an endemic country should lead to consideration of infection by a hookworm (or other nematode), even though bacteria are the most common cause. All the cases of parasitic folliculitis in our series and most of those found in the literature were pruritic, in contrast to most forms due to other microorganisms. The diagnosis of parasitic folliculitis was based on clinical findings alone. Histological studies are unnecessary, but show nematode larvae trapped within the follicular canal, stratum corneum or dermis, together with an inflammatory eosinophilic infiltrate. In three cases, the larvae were identified as Pelodera strongyloides, a free-living nematode belonging to the order Rhabditoidae. In another case of folliculitis the larvae were identified as Ancylostoma caninum, a hookworm. The pathogenesis of parasitic folliculitis may be related to an allergic reaction to the presence of the nematode larva in the follicular canal.
The remaining patient's clinical signs subsided only more than 2 months after presentation. In one case, thiabendazole eradicated the creeping eruption but not the follicular lesions. Our experience is similar. The clinical response to a single 12-mg dose of oral ivermectin was less favourable in our patients with folliculitis that in most other patients with CLM. A single dose of ivermectin cured two of five patients in our series, whereas it usually gives cure rates of 81-100% in CLM. Treatment was repeated until the pruritus disappeared, this symptom being indicative of parasite viability. In conclusion, folliculitis should be added to the dermatological manifestations of CLM. The clinical diagnosis is facilitated by the pruritic nature of the lesions and their association with serpiginous tracks. Treatment is more difficult than in classical forms of CLM. ]
So yeah, hope this helps a bit.
Please be very careful, these medications can be harsh on your organs and I am not exaggerating, drink plenty of water.

I (29F) and husband (32M) have been together for five years. He's the love of my life: attentive, empathic, proactive, intelligent, funny, caring, interesting, and much more. I still cannot believe someone like him exists. He deserves the best in the world. I've always been a hopeless romantic and very affectionate to people in my life. I've always given more than I've received (emotionally, materialisticly and physically) and was fine with that, because it is in my nature.
Well, when I met my husband, he was the first person who matched my vibe. He was even worse than me which I had to learn to accept in the beggining because it was all new to me. I still have a lot of trouble not feeling discomfort or appreciating his gestures. Nonetheless, he made me feel seen, loved, and I've experienced and got things I could have never imagined. I knew he was the one for me, I've never doubted that and I still don't. If anything, I feel like I am lacking and the lesser one in the relationship.
I feel ashamed, disappointed, and dumb. Somehow along the way, I've started feeling smothered by the things I appreciated so much before. I feel like I have lost myself, the affectionate person I was. The best way I can describe it is there is no need to anymore, since he does all the work.
As background, I think I show my love in gifts, gestures and acts of services: buying him flowers and a cake when he comes back home after leaving for a while, or buying him something he wanted for a while, or something that made me think of him, writing him a heartfelt specific message about what I love about him, preparing a special night, cleaning the house before he gets home after a long shift/when he's busier, or making a new three services meal just because. I've never doubted that my mom loved me because of all the gestures and help she gave me. She didn't need to tell me she loved me constantly or give me physical affection, because I already knew. Therefore, those are not my automatism and I've had to learn to incorporate them inside our everyday life, even if they don't mean much to me. As far as I've known, words and closeness can just be a facade and the formers demand more thinking and personnalization (not bashing anyone who prioritize those love languages, just trying to explain how they make me feel on a personnal level).
I know the next paragraph is a lot of people's dream, and these "bad" scenarios even sound silly to me. Boohoo, my significant other loves me, but I feel confused about these new feelings. For examples: he always wants to be with me. He loves me very deeply and lets me know he does by telling me multiple times a day. He always compliments me, even in front of others, but I don't appreciate PDA. He wants to hug me when he comes back home or I do, but I often feel overstimulated/overwhelmed. He wants me to aknowledge everything he says or do, and finds it odd how silent I am. He uses my slangs, eats what I eat, do what I do. He wants to know how my day was, and he most of all never wants to disappoint me in any way. This means asking me if I want a spoon or fork with a meal, in a bowl or a plate, to eat at the table or on the couch, if I want water or if I'm good. Asking me if the food is good the second I put it in my mouth. He also has terrible earing which means I have to repeat my answers a lot. He's also terribly clumsy, which means when he does something, it will probably give me more work than if I did it myself in the first place. This has the exact opposite effect of what he's trying to achieve, because it is all these questions that makes me annoyed.
I do get writing this that it's a toxic cycle: he tries to gain my affection, it ends up doing the opposite, he doubles down, and so on and so forth.
As far as what I've tried: I do ask for time alone, but feel it breaks his heart everytime. He feels rejected and I know it. I've tried to explain to him my feelings, but for him it is foreing. He thinks it's a lack of love on my part, that I don't like him as a person...
I now do get short-tempered and annoyed. Something as simple as kissing my head makes me want to move my head so he can't reach it. I hate myself. I hate what I have become, and I need therapy ASAP before it ruins a good marriage.

the reason why many people enjoy playing assassins is that they find joy in sneakily looking for angles to burst down squishy enemies, however, this is very hard to accomplish nowadays, especially for ad assassins. the reason is that adcs and mages - the classes which assassins are supposed to counter - have too many defensive options that make it practically impossible to punish their mispositioning and burst them to death, mages have Zhonyah's and Seraph's shield and for some reason tons of health in their items, adcs often take exhaust and barrier and could build shield bow/BT/terminus/GA , not to talk about the enchanter supports that could shield or heal them for quarter their health . The worst part is that those classes out scale assassins and deal almost the same damage or more (with the same gold) consistently and from the safety of their 800-range abilities/AAs without being punishable. In contrast, as an assassin, to deal damage you have to look for a good angle and commit to putting yourself in the melee range of their backline, only for them to press 1 button (exhaust for example) to render you completely useless and to find yourself unable to do anything. I understand that assassins could be left weak on purpose because they frustrate ADC players (just like zed for example who's openly kept weak because he causes player frustration), but why do we only care about ADC player frustration? what about our frustration?-the assassin players- when we feel completely useless and unable to do the job our class is designed for?
it's time we stop catering to ADC mains, marksmen are incredibly overpowered right now, and they should not have high survivability or dueling power; the game is frankly in the most unenjoyable state it has ever been since season 8 when I started playing (at least from my perspective and I assume many other assassin players' too), all because of the adc changes, it feels like every game is decided by bot diff and everyone else has negligible impact.

My girlfriend and I were together for two years, part of it was long distance. We were previously good friends for 5 years, then she was the one that caught feelings and pursued me first. During our relationship she always told me things like “I’m the one”, we talked about how we would get married and grow old together, she made so many promises that she was 100% sure of me and that she’d never leave. She would say things like “we’ve known each other in every lifetime”. We got together even though I was leaving for a masters study, she said she thought she’d never do long distance again but for me it was worth it, bc she was 100% sure I’m the guy she wants. I left a week after we got together, and I was gone for about a year. During that time we visited once a month, it was always great. I eventually moved back and we spent another year together in person. I’m sorry if this post is too long.
She ended things about a month ago. During the breakup she gave me very vague answers so I couldn’t get the closure I needed. I decided to reach out a week after the breakup to ask why she did it, and what she said killed me inside.
She said that she knew we were compatible and I’m an amazing person but felt like she was settling for me, and she didn’t want to live her life like that when she thinks she can find something better. She said she believes in that soulmate connection with one person when you know deep inside you that this is “it”, and she didn’t feel like that with me, she didn’t think I was “it”. But we did say to each other during the relationship that this was “it”, she told me so many times that I’m the one, so I don’t know how a flip just switched in her brain. She also said she realized she didn’t love me in the way “real love” is, and maybe she just loved the idea of me. She said she always felt the need to be accepted and loved by people and I made her feel like that. She said when you truly love someone you’d sacrifice things for them, and she wouldn’t sacrifice things for me. She said she was forcing herself to be comfortable around me, and it wasn’t the type of comfort that it should be with “the one”.
How the fuck does it take you two years to realize you don’t love someone in the way “real love” is? Especially after all the emotional intimacy we shared. How could you be uncomfortable with me? I was her first kiss, her first hand hold, she said she was saving those things for the right person and she did them with me. Why would she feel like shes settling for me when she’s the one that pursued me first? She went all out to “get me” and be in a relationship with me. Am I really the type of guy that gets settled for? That hurts like hell. She said she was having all these thoughts during the last 4 months of the relationship. But literally a month ago, I felt that she’s been a bit cold, and I asked if everything was okay. She said “nothings wrong, I’ve been really stressed with school/work. But nothings wrong with us, maybe something’s just wrong with me with all the stress. But we’re good, that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I’d ever give up on us, I’d never do that. Don’t worry I still love you and I’ll always be here.” She said that word for word. So she was lying to me? Why would you lie instead of communicating openly? If she had told me she was having those thoughts it would’ve been easier for me, but she gave me that reassurance and then blindsided me a month later. I told her it’s normal to lose feelings in a relationship after a while, that eventually that initial spark or honeymoon phase ends, and that’s when the real relationship starts and you work on building a life together. Love eventually becomes a choice and not just a feeling. But she said she wouldn’t lose feelings with the right person. Now I’m the wrong person when she literally told me a million times that we were always meant for each other. I told her I think she’ll end up being disappointed when she realizes there is no “one” person that gives you that magical feeling for life, you eventually reach a point where you have to choose that person everyday. Relationships are hard and most of them end up losing that initial spark, but it’s an opportunity for a new kind of love to blossom, a love based off commitment and loyalty to each other. That’s the only way a relationship can last forever. And during our relationship we even acknowledged that fact together and we told each other that if the feelings fade we will always choose each other no matter what happens. It makes no sense to me. And if she actually lost feelings and fell out of love, that’s fine. But to say she never loved me in the way “real love” is, that makes no sense to me and it’s killing me inside. Have I just been blind and stupid the entire relationship? How does it take TWO YEARS to realize that? She said to me, “maybe you can choose someone and settle for them and learn to love them, but I believe there’s one person out there that is meant for me and when I find them I will know it deep inside me.” Yea, I believed that too. I believed it because I thought it was you. Just because I chose you doesn’t mean I’m settling for you or learning to love you. I thought you were meant for me. It’s so ridiculous I don’t understand, she used to be so sure that I was the one, she knew it deep inside her that I was. And now she’s saying that when she finds it, she’ll know. Well you knew it with me and now you don’t.
Part of me understands why she lost feelings, we didn’t really have a strong base. We were together for only a week before I left for a year. I feel like it wasn’t enough time for the physical attraction to build up and to get to know each other in person. By the time we visited each other, a lot of time had passed and the spark wasn’t the same as the beginning, it was kinda awkward at first. We got into a serious committed relationship talking about future marriage, before we ever hugged each other. She was scared to kiss me, maybe that’s why she said she was forcing herself to be comfortable. But eventually we kissed and it was great. During the visits it felt like everything was going great and that our relationship was getting stronger. I didn’t think that she was uncomfortable. I feel like if we had done all the intimate things in the beginning, we would have a base to build off of and the spark would be alive.
Also I keep blaming myself and wondering what I did wrong. I’m just certain that it’s my fault, that I made her lose attraction. Maybe I wasn’t manly enough or attractive enough. Maybe I was too boring or uninteresting or too “stable”. Being in love with someone basically means you have to be sexually attracted to them first, that’s what separates family love from romantic love. Maybe I didn’t do enough to keep her attracted to me, so she felt like she lost feelings. It was really hard with the distance. I tried, I really tried. I would always flirt and tease her, I tried not to let the relationship feel like it was a platonic friendship over time. I was always confident and “manly” with her, I stood my ground when she did things I didn’t like, I wasn’t needy. We sexted and video called all the time. I always planned amazing dates. I tried to keep the fun alive. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to keep her attracted. I truly feel like if we had been in person the whole time, it would’ve worked and she would’ve still been attracted to me. It’s just different when you’re there physically. But we both knew this, we acknowledged that it was gonna be hard and the feelings may fade, but we said we’d always choose each other no matter what. Maybe it was inevitable with the distance, but at the end she said it wasn’t because of the distance, she believes with the right person the distance wouldn’t matter. So I just wasn’t the right person for her, I was for a while, but I let her lose attraction for me. Your view on love and attraction may differ, but I learned that it’s the guy’s responsibility to keep a woman attracted, it’s about how he acts and behaves that keeps her attracted. So it’s my fault she lost attraction, it’s something I did. For example when I look back at the first visit, a mistake I made was asking to kiss her instead of just going for it. She said no, maybe because I came off as unconfident and that turned her off. I was so nervous during the first visit because there was so much expectation built up inside my head. Maybe that prevented me from being able to genuinely enjoy myself around her and attract her. Eventually though, we got comfortable with each other and we kissed and it was great. I felt the spark was there. I don’t think she met someone else, I asked her and she said no. Yea maybe she could’ve lied, but i know her and I don’t think she would do that. She said “you know me, I would never allow myself to do that while I’m in a relationship. The reasons are solely because I don’t feel in love with you anymore.”
We hit a little rut near the end because we were both very busy, but I didn’t think it was concerning because she always gave reassurance and made it seem like everything is fine. It feels like shit hearing that someone was settling for me. Why wasn’t I enough? I keep looking back and thinking what I could’ve done different to keep her attracted. I keep nitpicking at myself and feeling insecure about the way I am. She was so sure of me in the beginning so I must’ve done something along the way to make her lose feelings. She let me tear my walls down and trust her fully, then she left. It feels like I’m not worthy of love because she saw something in me and decided she didn’t want me. What hurts the most is that to me, she was “it”, to me she was the one. And she said that to me too and I believed her. I felt that she truly meant it when she said that. She would tell me she was always attracted to me and had feelings during our friendship but she “locked them in a box” because she was too afraid. She even told me that I was a walking green flag and that I was perfect and I did nothing wrong. It hurts to know she thinks that yet she still decided she didn’t want me. It kills to know that one day she’ll get married, he’ll get to hold her and kiss her and have a family, and it won’t be with me. I can’t stand the thought of her being intimate with someone else. And it’s the thought that, whoever she ends up with, will be better than me in a way. She will love him more than she loved me. He will make her feel what I couldn’t make her feel. And I’m blaming myself so much that I couldn’t make her feel like that anymore. I’m grieving the future that we both planned together. I feel so betrayed, I feel like shit. Most of all I just really miss her, we knew each other for 7 years and now we’re just strangers again.
I’ve been hurt before, I’ve had a few breakups, but this one hurts the most. I don’t know what it is about this girl that makes me feel like I’ll never find anyone better. I know that time heals everything but I feel like this has damaged me on a deep level, I feel like I can’t let my walls down again. I don’t want to love again and risk getting hurt. I can’t invest myself fully into someone if I’m always afraid they’re going to blindside me. I know a breakup shouldn’t define your self worth, but it’s just the idea that the person I loved doesn’t see herself spending her life with me anymore, that makes me feel really bad. It’s the thought that she saw something in me that made her decide she doesn’t love me. She analyzed our relationship and thought “I want someone better”. The thought that it’s my fault, that it’s something I did. I didn’t have enough “game”. I couldn’t keep her attraction high. I can’t stand the idea of her getting married one day and finding her “it”. Of course I want her to be happy but I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t kill me inside.
Nobody is perfect but she was close to it. She’s such a rare breed, she had everything I wanted in a woman and it’s so hard to come by. I wish I had a reason to hate her but she’s genuinely an amazing person. She did nothing bad to me, we barely fought and when we did it was very gentle. Our entire relationship was pretty much perfect up until the end. I’ve never been with someone that was this compatible with me. She’s the kindest human, she’s intelligent, she’s very mature, she’s beautiful inside and out, she’s very warm and gentle. And the fact that she’s such a sweet and genuine person makes it way harder. If she had cheated or something I think this would’ve been easier on me, because I’d see her as a bad person. But she’s not a bad person. It hurts way more knowing that she was feeling like she wanted to end things, but at the same time she was trying to convince herself to love me, because she didn’t want to hurt me. She didn’t want to break her promises, she was trying so hard not to, but in the end she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. Why do I have to feel like someone has to convince themselves to love me? Why does someone have to force themselves to believe I’m the one? Why can’t anyone ever just truly believe it with their entire soul, that they want to be with me. When I asked for reassurance and she told me she still loved me and would never give up, she was trying to convince herself because she didn’t want to hurt me. It was all lies. Every “I love you” in the last 4 months was a lie. I feel like such an idiot that I was sitting there for the past 4 months thinking that everything was going great. She was just faking her affection the whole time. Imagine hearing that someone was forcing themselves to love you. No one was forcing you! The exit door has always been open, no one forced her to stay, no one forced her to pursue me in the first place. I told her many times that I just want truth and transparency in our relationship, yet she hid all of those things. She said she hid them because she cared about me and didn’t want to hurt me, and she was trying to make it work. But if she truly cared for me, she would know that I deserve honesty, I deserve to know the truth even if it hurts. I don’t deserve to live in a lie. If she cared for me she would let me go find someone who truly loves me, instead of just pretending to love me. By lying, she was only caring about herself, to relieve herself of the guilt. The breakup would’ve been way smoother if she just told the truth from the start, but now I feel like an idiot who sat there for 4 months thinking that everything was going well, when in reality it wasn’t.
There’s so many things I loved about her. I loved the way she cries during every movie, she thinks she’s too sensitive but I think it’s beautiful to feel your emotions that deeply. I loved the way her face lights up when she smiles. I loved how she would call me just to tell me silly little things about her day. I loved her curiosity and wonder for the universe. I loved how she would run into my arms when she saw me. She just understood me, and I understood her. I can’t hate her, I wish I could, but I just love her with all my heart. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Even when 20 years pass and I’m over this and we’re both married to other people, I will still love her and wish the best for her. I miss her so much, I miss talking to her. I know we can't be friends, but I really wish I could still have her in my life. But I shouldn't wish that I guess, because she decided she wants to live her life without me in it. I can’t believe she could decide to lose me forever when she always said she could never live without me.
The worst part is, I reacted to the break up very emotionally. I showed how hurt I was, I wrote a long paragraph, and I brought up all the promises she made. That was a mistake, it probably killed any ounce of attraction she had left. If there was any chance of her coming back or realizing it was a mistake, I destroyed that chance. I made it look like I can’t live without her. I didn’t beg for her back at all, but I kept pushing for answers and explanations. I asked her what I did wrong and stuff, and that made me look super desperate. I should’ve just accepted the break up immediately and cut off all communication. Maybe then she would’ve thought about it, she would wonder why I wasn’t upset and have second thoughts about her decision. It would make me look more attractive in her eyes. But no I ruined it forever. Now all I want to do is salvage some respect, to make her see me as a valuable person. Not as someone who can’t live without her. Deep down I really want her to have a change of heart, I want her to feel re-attracted somehow, after having some time and space away from the situation. But I ruined her image of me. Now I’m looking back and analyzing every little thing about our relationship and wondering what I should’ve done better. I realized I made a lot of mistakes, which at the time I didn’t think were mistakes, but now looking back it’s probably my fault she lost attraction. I didn’t do enough.
I told myself during the relationship that “everything is temporary, don’t get too attached, life can change at any moment”. I know those things because I’ve learned my lessons from the past, but this is still killing me. I know almost everyone has been heartbroken, I’m nothing special, every human has been through this before. I just need to hear that it wasn’t my fault or that I’ll find someone better eventually. I’m blaming myself a lot right now and I keep thinking that she wouldn’t have left if I had been attractive enough. I generally consider myself a confident person but this has set me back a lot, it’s ruining my self esteem. Maybe I have attachment issues that I need to work on. I know that time will heal this, but right now I can’t imagine myself finding someone that’s better. I feel like the idea of “the one” has been ruined for me. I want to believe it, but I don’t think I do anymore. Even if I find another person who I think is the one, there’s always the possibility that they will change their mind. There’s always a chance that all of their words and actions were just lies. A lot of people get into relationships because they love the idea of being in love, not because they are actually in love with the person.
Thank you for reading this far, I know it’s a long post. I needed somewhere to vent, I don’t have many people to talk to. When I cry, I cry alone. And during the act of crying I start to hate myself for being such a bitch. I know it’s perfectly okay to cry and feel your emotions but it’s hard to escape the conditioning that I’m used to. I have friends and family but, I can’t express my emotions the way I did in this post. People have their own lives and worries and they don’t want to deal with someone’s silly heartbreak I guess.
TL;DR - my gf and I broke up a month ago, she said she was settling for me and that I wasn’t the “one”, even though she made promises and assured me that she wouldn’t leave. I keep blaming myself and wondering what I did wrong.

We continue our exploration of the universe that encases Paradiso alongside Dante and the radiant Beatrice.
Canto VIII: Venus Rising#/media/File:Aphrodite_Anadyomene_from_Pompeii_cropped.jpg)
(Fun Fact: Venus last crossed the sun in 2012-if you missed it, too bad. The next time will be 2117). We rise to the sphere of Venus, and Dante converses with a Seraphim, Charles Martel, a promising leader who died too young. The discussion centers on the fact that the disposition of people, their nature, cannot be overruled by earthly dictate. Fun fact, Dante may have met him, and we get a shoutout to Dante's other well-known work, La Vita Nuova.
Canto IX: Prophecies and More
Dante continues to chat with Cunizza da Romano, who turned from earthly love of her troubadour to Godly love, and is thus here, on Venus. Interestingly, there is no repentance for her earthly love and pleasure and no divine punishment either. Notably, her brother, Ezzelino III, by contrast was in the Inferno among the violent. Next, Folco, another troubadour in love who become the Bishop of Toulouse. Dante seems to contrast his Albigensian Crusade with the current pope who has failed to reclaim the Holy Land. (Those who read The Name of the Rose with bookclub might very well debate whether Falco should be in Paradiso!) We get several examples of the corruption of the church and a prophecy that Rome shall be reformed.
Canto X: Shine Out Fair Sun!
Onwards, we admire the harmony of order which God's love has created the world, dictating orbits and movements and life. Beatrice leads Dante to the Sun and Dante gives thanks for what he witnesses. The sun is populated by the wise, who dance and sing and shine. Here we meet such luminaries as Thomas Aquinas, who helped form Dante's own ideas and theology in this work, and the biblical King Solomon.jpg). We listen to God's clock.
Canto XI: More Sun
A meandering marital metaphor of Poverty and Christ brings us to St. Francis of Assisi. His vow of poverty and attempts to convert the Sultan during the Fifth Crusade is contrasted with the current Dominican order's corruption; they have lost the true path.
Canto XII: Now, About Those Dominicans...
There is more dancing and flames and, like Iris#/media/File:Kunsthistorisches_Museum_Wien_2016_Kunstkammer_Gaetano_Matteo_Monti_Iris_als_Regenbogeng%C3%B6ttin_KK_5503_b.jpg), messenger to the gods, we dive into Saint Dominic's dedication to the Church, who marries Faith like St. Francis marries Poverty. Also known as the "Domini Canes" i.e. the Dogs of the Lord- Dominic as a name means "Belongs to the Lord" which is what his female relative prophesized. We get shoutouts to his devoted followers which is contrasted with the Franciscans divided between convention and absolute poverty in their order.
Canto XIII: More From St. Thomas
We get astronomical, with the Ursa Major aka The Big Dipper and Ariadne's Crown- a double Corona Borealis. Next, St. Thomas continues his discussion with Dante about God's plan and differentiated natures and the example of King Solomon's request to God. Aristotelian ideas are refuted, and we get some trigonometry.
Canto XIV: Towards Mars
More dancing and singing and we deal with Resurrection and how it will impact the glow in Paradiso. We cross the Milky Way and head towards Mars. Suddenly, Dante is presented with a vision of Christ on the cross and feels an Eastertide of the soul. Beatrice has radiant eyes.
Canto XV: On Mars
On Mars, it is quiet, and we do math. Dante meets his ancestor, who begat the family name in a Florence long gone and innocent. Cacciaguida tells Dante about the good ol' days in a way Dante the human can understand and recounts following Emperor Conrad in the Second Crusade (which, by the way, was a pretty massive failure). From warfare, he has arrived to Mars in peace.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We meet next week for more Paradiso, in Cantos 16-24! Questions below

I was reading this article about server GC and have a question about this paragraph:

Server garbage collection can be resource-intensive. For example, imagine that there are 12 processes that use server GC running on a computer that has four logical CPUs. If all the processes happen to collect garbage at the same time, they would interfere with each other, as there would be 12 threads scheduled on the same logical CPU. If the processes are active, it's not a good idea to have them all use server GC.

I was wondering why there would be 12 threads scheduled on the same logical CPU? Why do all GC threads run on the same CPU? Why wouldn't it be 12 threads scheduled across 4 CPUs?
​

Bisexuality in men is positively correlated to intelligence/ IQ but it absolutely has to be acted upon from ages 18-28 or the bi-curious man will further repress and internalize his urges during the “pair bonding life stage” (29-39) until he is a full-on homosexual closet case in his forties. This will manifest as a long period of heterosexual hyper-sexuality in the twenties, increasingly preserve sexual desires and experimentation, inability to be alone, instability, and long strings of casual relationships. The longer he represses it the more antisocial and misogynistic his general disposition will be, and the worse off his relationships with women as well, for he stews in shame and blames women. This is in contrast to the bisexual male who explores male-male sex in his early twenties and often settles down during the pair bonding life stage with a woman in a healthy and loving relationship.
This is all 100% fact. See John Mayer as a good example. But it’s always been true.

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
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Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

This is my attempt to summarize this research study (PDF): "Rhythmic tapping difficulties in adults who stutter: A deficit in beat perception, motor execution, or sensorimotor integration?" (2023)
Goal:

• Investigating the rhythmic abilities of people who stutter and to identify which processes potentially are impaired:

1. beat perception and reproduction
2. the execution of movements, in particular their initiation
3. or, sensorimotor integration

Research findings:

• People who stutter (PWS) were able to reproduce an isochronous pattern (aka occuring at the same time) on their own, without external auditory stimuli, with similar accuracy as the people who do not stutter (PNS), but with increased variability
• This group difference in variability was observed immediately after passive listening, without prior motor engagement, and was not enhanced or reduced after several seconds of tapping
• However, PWS showed increased tapping variability in the reproduction and synchronization tasks, this timing variability did not correlate significantly with the variability in reaction times or tapping force
• PWS exhibited larger negative mean asynchronies, and increased synchronization variability in synchronization tasks
• These group differences were not affected by beat hierarchy (i.e., “strong” vs. “weak” beats), pattern complexity (non-isochronous vs. isochronous) or presence versus absence of external auditory stimulus (1:1 vs. 1:4 isochronous pattern)
• Differences between PWS and PNS were not enhanced or reduced with sensorimotor learning, over the first taps of a synchronization task
• We hypothesize a deficit in neuronal oscillators coupling in production, but not in perception, of rhythmic patterns, and a larger delay in multi-modal feedback processing for PWS

Intro:

• In paced tapping tasks, i.e., when tapping in synchrony with an external metronome or musical excerpt, previous studies reported a greater tapping variability in PWS. In addition, when tapping along with a metronome marking a simple isochronous sequence, PWS tend to tap more ahead of the beat, i.e., they show a greater “Negative Mean Asynchrony” (NMA)
• Differences in movement behavior originate from deficits at more than one level e.g., paced tapping involves:
• (1) the skill to perceive a periodic beat
• (2) the capacity to initiate and execute movements to reproduce that beat
• (3) and the ability to monitor and update movement timing on-line, using sensory feedback

Identifying motor delays and variability at the speech motor execution stage

• What exactly is the reason for difficulties at the motor execution stage? For example:
• (1) muscle functioning can be impaired
• (2) inaccurate, unstable, or insufficiently activated internal representations
• Stuttering frequency is influenced by task complexity or speed
• In the current study, we investigated: To what extent is the increased timing variability and decreased timing accuracy of PWS related to difficulties in motor planning and execution?

Beat perception and reproduction

• “Beat” perception refers to the internal representation of periodicity when listening, seeing, or feeling a regular sequence of stimuli
• “Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis” suggests that beat perception involves the in phase tuning of endogenous neuronal oscillations in the brain, with external physical periodic or oscillatory phenomena. The observation that steady state-evoked potentials appear in the delta frequency range [0.5–4 Hz] in subjects who were passively listening to a rhythmic sequence at 2.4Hz, provides support for this hypothesis
• “Active Sensing” hypothesis: it extends the Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis by incorporating the role of the motor cortex. It proposes that the tuning of neuronal oscillations in the auditory cortex (which happens in the delta frequency range) is influenced by similar oscillations in the motor cortex. When perceiving beats in the delta frequency range (0.5–4 Hz), there is a coordinated tuning of oscillations between the auditory and motor cortices. This suggests an interaction between sensory perception (hearing the beats) and motor processing (possibly related to movement or rhythm)

Influence of motor engagement and sensorimotor learning

• It is uncertain to what extent the motor system influences or is intrinsically involved in timing processes
• Previous studies found some brain activity in motor regions during passive listening to a rhythmic pattern, without any movement, supporting the idea that beat perception intrinsically involves the motor system
• The coupling of neuronal oscillations to an external beat frequency, observed in passive listening to rhythm, is enhanced when gestures, like finger tapping, are simultaneously produced
• These observations support the idea that people build an internal representation of the beat by detecting the periodicity in sensory inputs without actual movement, but that this internal representation is nevertheless consolidated with engaging the motor system

Conclusions:
Is stuttering linked to difficulties in movement initiation due to a dysfunctional basal ganglia?

• This study found no significant differences between people who stutter (PWS) and people who do not stutter (PNS) in terms of average finger reaction time and its variability
• No correlation was found between reaction times and the severity of stuttering or synchronization accuracy
• Suggesting that movement initiation difficulties are not a contributing factor to stuttering in externally triggered movements
• The study concluded that timing differences observed between PWS and PNS were not due to difficulties in initiating movements

Are motor impairments in PWS related to inaccurate internal models or neural noise?

• The study found no correlation between timing and force variability, suggesting that the observed differences were not due to inaccurate internal models or neural noise

Beat Perception and Reproduction

• PWS demonstrated the ability to tap an isochronous sequence without external auditory reference and predict regular events, showing no significant acceleration or deceleration. They maintained acceptable levels of periodicity error and tapping variability, indicating accurate beat perception and transfer to motor actions
• Suggesting no strong deficit in tuning neuronal oscillations with the external beat in PWS
• PWS showed no significant difference in periodicity error during beat reproduction tasks but exhibited greater tapping variability. This indicates that PWS can perceive the beat accurately but have difficulty reproducing it consistently
• The study proposes that timing differences are not due to impaired motor execution but might be explained by the Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis
• PWS showed no difference in marking beat hierarchy compared to PNS. Both groups tapped stronger beats with greater force, indicating that beat hierarchy perception was intact

Sensorimotor Integration and Learning

• Current research findings exclude the idea that NMA is a compensation for motor delays or an underestimation of intervals
• PLV also varied with external auditory stimuli and task complexity, indicating that tapping variability in synchronization tasks involves additional sensorimotor variability. However, this was not significantly different between PWS and PNS, suggesting no deficit at this stage
• Improvement in synchronization consistency was observed for both groups over time, but not in accuracy. This excludes a sensorimotor learning deficit in PWS for consolidating internal beat representations

Tips:

• address the impairment in rhythmic abilities regarding beat perception and reproduction, the execution of movements, in particular their initiation, and sensorimotor integration
• address the increased variability when reproducing an isochronous pattern without external auditory stimuli
• address the prior motor engagement
• address the larger negative mean asynchronies (NMA), and increased synchronization variability (NMA refers to: a common phenomenon observed in synchronization tapping tasks is the tendency, even in typical individuals, to anticipate the beat, i.e., demonstrating a Negative Mean Asynchrony) (NMA depends on feedback modalities and is reduced when direct auditory feedback is available compared to information provided by only tactile-kinesthetic feedback. NMA reflects a slower processing and integration of tactile feedback than auditory or visual feedback)
• address the deficit in neuronal oscillators coupling in production (but not in perception) of rhythmic patterns, and address the larger delay in multi-modal feedback processing
• address the significant differences in movement duration, movement timing and reaching accuracy in upper limb and non-speech orofacial movements
• address the larger variability and disrupted timing across and within moving components, such as limbs and articulators (which is suggesting a timing deficit)
• address the dysfunctional dopamine receptors and address the disrupted basal ganglia-thalamo-cortical network (which is affecting both motor control and time processing)
• address the motor delays and variability at the speech motor execution stage
• address the longer voice reaction times
• address the longer movement durations, peak velocity latencies, and lower peak velocities for finger flexion
• address the longer durations between the peak EMG (Electromyography) of lip muscles and the speech onset
• learn to rely more on the feedforward and automatized mode of motor control, rather than mainly relying on sensory feedback (leading to inducing additional processing delays and eventually leading to unstable movement behavior of different effectors, especially at fast rate) (For example: Using sensory feedback for on-line monitoring and correcting timing errors. Resulting in delays in the pathway linking motor commands and their sensory consequences that need to be compensated)
• address the peak in beta oscillations in the basal ganglia after the stimulus occurred (which is interpreted as an increased attention and prediction of an event after the stimulus occured)
• address the potential deficit in recovering an underlying beat (which results in increased difficulties to add and remove events (or musical notes) within a periodic pattern. In contrast, if you struggle with the underlying beat, these tasks become harder because you lack the regular reference points, and therefore it becomes more difficult to perceive and reproduce complex rhythms, as well as meter. For example: a triple meter is a waltz (1-2-3, 1-2-3), with one strong beat followed by two weaker ones)
• address the movement initiation difficulties (contributing to stuttering in internally triggered movements)
• address the impairment of (1) the medial premotor circuit (associated with self-triggered actions (in contrast, the lateral premotor circuit - associated with externally triggered actions - is intact in stutterers). Understand that research found no significant timing differences in periodicity error in tasks mediated by the medial premotor circuit, rather they found significant differences in negative mean asynchrony - suggesting overreliance on the lateral premotor circuit involving on external triggers
• address the greater variability in movement amplitude and timing
• address the increased timing variability during simple synchronization tasks
• address the greater tapping variability (PWS can perceive the beat accurately but have difficulty reproducing it consistently)
• address the deficit in coupling neuronal oscillators driving the motor system (that leads to increased variability in beat reproduction)
• address the increased errors in reproducing complex non-isochronous patterns (rather than beat hierarchy perception as this was shown to be intact)
• address the reduced accuracy and consistency in synchronization tasks - with greater negative mean asynchrony (NMA) and lower phase locking values (PLV)
• address the variations in phase angles depended on beat strength, external auditory stimuli, and task complexity
• Ask yourself: What compensations do I implement for motor delays or an underestimation of intervals?
• address the slower processing of tactile and proprioceptive information (leading to increased integration delays between auditory and kinesthetic feedback - which explains why PWS perform taps in advance of the beat to synchronize sensory inputs accurately)
• address the NMA compensatory strategy for slower tactile feedback accumulation

I notice there is a lot of talk about cross international dating (ex: passport bros) on this subreddit and the manosphere at large. I thought it would be interesting to share this study by a Swedish researcher named, Annika Elwert, who has studied gendered differences in foreign mate preferences between men and women in western countries.
The three countries she’s mainly studied are her home country Sweden, Spain and the USA by analyzing data on natives with foreign spouses. This what she found in Sweden for example regarding changes in patterns in cross national marriages:

Until the turn of the millennium, Swedish men who married across national borders usually chose women from Norway and Finland. In the early 2000s, a change in men's marriage patterns crystallised. Partly because of increased international travel, Thai women became the most common group of foreign women to marry Swedish men. However, Swedish women are rarely in relationships with Thai men.

In 2023 Elwert published a study focusing on Spain and USA to see if these patterns hold. She found some interesting differences and similarities between men and women when it came to choosing a foreign spouse that I thought were worth sharing.
Just a heads up, before I delve deeper into the study, I should note the researchers for this study only looked at marriages between natives in the USA who were of non-Hispanic European heritage and those with two parents born in Spain, to foreigners. So large swaths of the population are being left out of this study as it only examines foreign spouse preferences for certain members of the native population not the entire. Just keep that in mind:

We restrict the native population to the non-Hispanic of European descent born in the United States. Similarly for Spain, we restrict the native population to people born in Spain whose parents are also born in Spain. These restrictions are intended to minimize the impact that cross-national couples between international migrants and descendants of migrants of the same origins might have in our analyses (ex. Mexicans in the United States or Moroccans in Spain).

Regardless, I thought the results would interesting to discuss, here is a summary of the most important findings:

Sociologist Annika Elwert has previously studied marriage patterns in Sweden and, in a recent article, examined statistical databases of Spanish and American men and women who have a foreign partner. Their marriage patterns are similar to those of Swedes.
In the US, it is common to have a partner from neighbouring countries or Europe, but many American men also have a partner or wife from the Philippines. However, American women rarely marry Filipino men, preferring Germans and Mexicans. Among Spaniards, marriages with people from France, Germany and Argentina are common. Spanish women also choose partners from Senegal and Morocco, which is rare among Spanish men. Statistically, they prefer women from Romania and Colombia.
Although there are many commonalities in the marriage patterns of men and women, differences remain. Men more often marry much younger women from countries with lower education and living standards. The general trend is that the greater the difference in development between countries, the greater the age difference between the native man and the foreign woman. If the women come from countries with a similar level of development, the age difference is comparatively small.
“It is difficult to say why this is the case. One possible explanation is that when men have a preference for much younger women, it can be challenging to realise this preference in the domestic marriage market. It may be easier if she comes from a less developed country, where, for example, the marital age gap is usually larger," says Annika Elwert.
The same phenomenon is visible when considering countries' gender equality. Men from Spain or the US are more likely to marry partners from countries with low gender equality. In contrast, Spanish and American women rarely marry men from countries with low gender equality. An exception is American women. They are often in relationships with Mexican men.

So native men are more likely to marry foreign spouse from a less developed countries in places like SEA, Latin America, Eastern Europe, while native women are more likely to marry someone from developed countries and Western Europe. However, this trend changes depending on the region, with native women in Europe being more likely to marry someone from Africa and the Middle East compared to their male counterparts for example.
Native men are also more likely to be in relationships with a larger age gap compared to native women, although there has been slight increase in the latter:

When women from the US or Spain marry foreign men, the age difference is generally small. However, Annika Elwert's research shows that it has become more common for Swedish and Spanish women to have younger partners from less developed countries. This is not the case among American women.

Here is the full summary of the study: https://www.soc.lu.se/en/article/women-and-men-show-more-similarities-when-choosing-foreign-partner
Here is the full study which has more details and graphs: Read the article published in Population and Development Review
My basic summary of the studies is:
European men (Spain and Sweden), tend to marry partners from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, with notable gender disparities seen in marriages with Russian/Latin American women in Spain and largest age gaps in marriages with African women. European women from these countries are more likely to marry partners from neighboring regions, Western Europe, Africa, and the Middle East, with significant gender disparities observed in marriages with men from Africa. While European women are much less likely to marry younger partners from developing countries, there's a slight uptick in such unions, (particularly with Eastern European men interestingly enough), although this trend isn't mirrored in the US despite US women being more likely to marry men from developing countries then their European counterparts.
In the US, similarities exist between native men and European men in terms of marrying partners from Asia and Eastern Europe, with pronounced gender disparities seen in marriages with partners from Asia and age gaps being the largest with SEA Asian women and Certain Eastern European countries (Russia/Ukraine). US women are more likely to marry partners from Lebanon, Turkey, and India. Interestingly, there's less of a gender gap in marrying partners from Latin America in the US, although preferences vary by individual countries within Latin America. Native US men are more likely to marry someone from Colombia, Venezuela, Brazil, El Salvador and Peru while native US women are more likely to marry someone from Mexico, The Caribbean, Jamaica, Cuba, Guatemala, Panama and Argentina.
Regarding, developed countries, US women are slightly more likely to marry partners from Western Europe and Canada, while US men are more likely marry partners from East Asia.
Anyways, are there any surprises by the study's results? Or did it confirm something’s you already suspected?

I realize there are lot more things to try out then just play only sorceress every season, but that is what I do, until I am done. I always think to myself that if I like it, then I will try out other classes more than just what I had experienced during the beta, but I never get to that point.
In short,
positives :

• I have noticed much better performance which is the biggest plus for me
• Codex - great rework, although I am still not a fan of the system itself, because legendary items are really not legendary as they do not represent anything unique or special about them
• Masterworking - much better version of previous 5/5 blacksmith upgrades
• Helltides - better collection radius of cinders, mob density, more random spawns, threat level system
• Town adjustements - movement, vendor placement (I never minded this, but obvioulsy now it saves time)
• Tormented bosses - didn't get to them, but I like the idea of something player can work towards
• Tempering - I like this addition very much, but it brings problems with it. Most interesting are "secondary" effects such as chance to freeze, immobilize etc. which can diverse your build and allow it to function in a different way
• Monster highlights - undermines a little the art direction the game took, but it helps
• Visual clarity - not getting my screen covered with Necromancer's mud anymore is a great change
• NMD - affix changes

negatives : (not necessarily related to season)

• Tempering -
  • presented to us as a feature where we make choice to further customize our build and make it specialized in some way. That is the impression I got from campfire chat, but not from what I have seen in the game. In the game I see one option which is the best, second best and that's about it.
  • giving players tools to feel more powerful is understandable, but tempering effects together with masterwork are so strong that it makes most unique items (for sorc at least) unusable.
• Rare and lower quality items - maybe I am just missing something but I didn't find any use for them
• Chat -
  • I want to talk to people, ask questions or just read what people say
  • Finding a group for Duriel is almost impossible. Not finding a group and doing the boss solo makes no sense when I get 1/4 the reward from it. I will rather let those materials sink into the abyss of Eternal Realm than use them inefficiently
• Leveling -
  • it is so fast now that it definitely doesn't feel like a journey or something meaningful. I am getting D3 vibes and considering an upcoming DLC I don't see it changing the other direction. It's only going to speed up even more
  • on the brightside, apart from collecting a few aspects, there is nothing I can get during the leveling so better just get through it quickly
• Seasonal rewards - I have used one item (aspect) from all the rewards so I feel like the intention of giving us tools for specific builds is missing its mark. Even if I got useful item, it would be replaced during the leveling so fast that I don't see the point. And later on at a higher level, you don't need it, because you have everything and uniques are weaker than legendaries.
• Skill tree - is in my eyes the weakest point of Diablo. I could talk about each individual skill point and say what's wrong with it, but I want to keep it simple. One good example are final sorceress talents. They got so specific that there is no choice to be made. And if I play burning then I get 20[x] burning damage +2[x] per unique source of burning. So am I supposed stop for a second to summon hydra which then might hit one of many targets to which it adds 2[x] dmg? Or am I supposed to use firebolt as an enchantment slot? Or does it benefit just from multiple firewalls. I don't understand
• Paragon board & glyphs -
  • Now that tempering effects are so strong, glyphs along with paragon points / nodes got that much weaker. It almost doesn't matter what you pick there as long as you use 6 glyphs with active bonus effects. Interesting is that with rare glyphs being much weaker, magic glyph Slayer (damage to elites) can be used now
• Open world & Level Scaling - This might be one of those moments where you would say "you think you do, but you don't". But I would rather have places with locked difficulty.

Bugs -

• Force move doesn't work while channeling incinerate. I have to let go of both keys to press force move key again for it to work. Imo Force move should override everything and if there are any settings for it in game options, it should be set by default
• Flame shield enchantement should activate only upon recieving fatal damage but I think it activates everytime I lose 100% life in total. I am basing this on my feeling and observation. I did not care enough to test it

Final thoughts -

• Itemization - fundamentals are the same as they were
• When I play this game and there is a problem I want to overcome it by looking for a solution, but there usually is very little room for it. It feels like all is given with not much choice to be had. I don't use guides because I never needed to. I am not a youtube guide gamer. I am the gamer. My math skills are good and I want to use my brain and think about what is or isn't possible. To have something to think about when I am not playing. That is when I have fun.
• The paragraph above (planning and figuring stuff out) along with a good execution creates a challenge for me. Not infinite Pit /GR levels. That is grind
• I realize that what I want varies from what majority wants, but that is ok.

Still, S4 is overall a very good change. Best so far

TL;DR girl best friend acts very flirtatiously all of the time but has a long distance bf
I (20M) share a class and am very good friends with a girl we'll call Kat (20F). Kat and I talk literally all day every day and if we aren't talking in person were texting. She always interacts with me in a very flirty kind of way and all signs in my eyes point to her being romantically interested in me. A few examples, for my birthday she wrote a paragraph talking about how sweet and funny and caring I am and how grateful she was to have met me, and when I was leaving my university this semester she gave me a ketchup packet (I love ketchup) with something she always texts me written on it as a keepsake over the summer. Whenever she and I stop talking in person or I am about to leave to go back to my dorm there is a tension and I can almost feel that I should make a move. The only reason I haven't yet is that she has a boyfriend across the country. She never talks about him and there is no way she talks to him more than she talks to me because it would literally be impossible (were texting as i am writing this). I just don't know what I should do, I really like this girl and I think she likes me too but I don't want to be wrong and make a move and ruin our friendship. Her major and my major are very closely intertwined so if this does not go well I will still have to see her daily

So something that has been thrown around alot in gaming psychology research is the different "user archetypes" and the pretty wide variation in what drives different players to play a given game. What I'm wondering is if collecting and competing are two different motives in WoW that are part of this variation and are generally on different ends of a spectrum for your average player.

1. For example: if this is true then you would assume there is the competitor archetype. These are the mythic plus IO pushers, pvp gladiators, etc. These people get dopamine spikes from seeing their ratings go up, getting titles, mounts tied to rating, or their DPS numbers going up relative to the rest of the raid. They enjoy skill based competition. They don't necessarily care about collecting items that aren't tied to in-game skill (i.e. a mount that has X % drop chance from old raid boss). They simply love having a competitive environment.
   
2. As such, in contrast to competitors you would have the collectors. These people love collecting rare and unique items. They love the grind to obtain these. The amount of work you put in is directly linked to your ability to get the reward and the more work you put in the more items you can get. They love doing the research to figure out the most efficient ways to obtain said rewards. If they do end up participating in competitive gameplay (mythic+/arena etc) they generally do so to get something unique from it (i.e. pushes mythic plus just for the keystone mount and will immediately stop after that and move on to the rest of their collecting activities).
   

So what I'm wondering is are collecting and competing on different ends of a player spectrum. If you enjoy mostly collecting, do you generally shy away from competition (pushing IO score, pushing ranked pvp). And if you thoroughly enjoy competing, do you generally not care so much for collecting? I feel like the more "hardcore" you become at WoW, the more you end up falling into one of these two categories.

These are the things I learned about residency that I wish I could tell myself as a July intern on wards service. I know many of y’all here will disagree with a few, but this is how I see it. There’s definitely quite a few missing, so y’all fill in what I forgot.

• You earned the right to be here. You’ve proven you can do it so don’t doubt yourself.
• You’re not expected to know everything on day 1. Your job is to show up with a good attitude and ready to work hard.
• Listen to the nurses. Some of these critical care nurses, especially. Ask for their input and don’t brush them off as mere nurses because many of them know wayyy more than you do.
• Write things down. Print a list and make check boxes by each patient for what needs to get done that day. There are interns who forget things and interns who write things down.
• The first thing you need to learn is to tell sick from not sick, and that can be tricky at times. Later on you refine that until you see a whole spectrum of how sick a patient is.
• Don’t waste too much time pre-rounding. Brief pertinent exam, ask patient about changes in symptoms, but the highest yield is asking the nurses what went on overnight.
• Call consults before noon if you can. It’s a courtesy to the consultant/their team plus they’re far more likely to be seen that day, avoiding a delay in workup for the patient.
• Your note doesn’t have to be an essay. Keep things simple and don’t get bogged down in eloquent explanations or exhaustive reviews of a problem’s history for most routine stuff.
• However, document your reasoning well. Especially in tough cases, drop a paragraph about why you’re doing what you’re doing and that the patient agrees. For tough decisions, explain why benefit outweighs risk.
• Auto text or whatever your EMR uses. Make an arsenal of these. Use them for everything. If you have a kind of case you see a lot, template out a note so you make sure you’re documenting all the important stuff in an efficient manner. You can spend time to make these really thorough especially for counseling you routinely give.
• Be cool to your co-interns. Y’all are about to spend the next few years together. Don’t leave them in a lurch or punt to others all the time.
• Call the seniofellow/attending, especially at first. Even if they give you attitude, it’s ultimately their responsibility and they should know that.
• Try to update families daily if you can, especially for your ICU folks.
• Never, ever lie. Even once will destroy your credibility.
• Have a good attitude in a way that refuses to be bullied - don’t take that shit.
• Read all your own images. Then when rads drops a report, read that and see if you can find what they’re describing for every notes finding. It’ll make you a better doctor.
• Get to your new city as early as possible. Do things like car inspection, dentist appointment, vet appointment, etc. before July kicks off.
• Our profession has a high rate of substance abuse. Do what that what you will.
• Sit down with your family and SO and let them know what to expect and try to explain how intense this job is. When there’s a difference between expectation and reality, you have problems. Either way, it’ll strain your relationships. Make sure they know it’s not like other jobs and that when you have to work, it’s not because you’re just choosing to. Be prepared to miss birthdays, holidays, etc.
• Because of this, be deliberate on spending time with your SO/friends/family even if you’re dead tired. Go to dinner once a week. Talk as often as possible even when you just want to sleep.
• Wear comfortable shoes
• Scour the hospital for the best restroom. Sometimes having a proper relaxed shit can turn a day around.
• Get to know your chiefs. Go to them with problems earlier rather than later.
• Use every minute of PTO
• Step outside the hospital for a few minute a day when you can. See the sunshine.
• Make friends with the cafeteria staff and they’ll hook you up to no end.
• Make friends with the transporters and techs - they will save you.
• Appreciate the hell out of what PT/OT/SLP do.
• Know how to tell a patient no. Realize how manipulative people can be.
• Pharmacy is your friend - they know things
• If something is emergent, keep calling to follow up. If your crashing patient needs abx, it’s not like some doctor video game where you put the order in STAT and everyone goes rushing. Call down and check the status, let them know it’s needed now.
• Don’t order everything STAT
• Calling people in general gets so much more done and avoids so many headaches. I’ve found that back and forth via the secure messaging app/system is just frustrating and inefficient.
• You’re going to lose your first patient. Remember how you feel, and make sure you never forget it. You’ll need it later.
• Hang out outside of work, invite the nurses and therapy staff as well. Try and build a culture of friendship - it’s contagious.
• Election ‘24 is coming up in November so work is a great place to talk candidly about politics and try to change others’ beliefs /s
• If you’re struggling, reach out to someone.
• Try to get outside on your days off
• It’s not uncommon to end up on an SSRI
• Take the stairs places as much as you can. Cardio and a nice lower body workout.
• Answer pages as they come in. Anything STAT call back the moment you see it. Aim to get back to everyone within 5 minutes if you can. This will prevent you from falling behind.
• Day to night nurse shift change. Wait 30-45 minutes, then go around and talk to the nurse for all your patients. Let them get report and see if they have questions. Explain the plan, agree on when to call you, make sure orders all look good and make sense. We even used to bring candy from the physicians lounge to pass out for this event. This practice will put the nurse at ease, help you both put faces to names, develops rapport, and importantly reduces pages increasing your chance of sleeping.
• Put the diet order in
• Keep your presentations short and to the point unless someone wants them longer. Know the details, but you don’t have to recite them. You don’t have to say all the exam findings that were normal and not related to the patient’s disease. This holds attention better and shows that you really understand what’s important to why the patient is there.
• Always be prepared to dodge a punch when near a geriatric patient
• Even a 5-10 minute phone call with your loved ones on a frequent basis can do wonders
• Some people are just assholes and you can’t take things personally
• Other people are mad at something else and want to take it out on you.
• Be cool to the med students
• Get good at delivering bad news
• Celebrate delivering good news
• Fuck prior authorizations man
• When calling a consult, have a specific clinical question you need help answering. Know the patient well. Keep the call centered around what you need from them but be ready to provide details if needed. “Dr. X wants you on board” is resident code for “I know it’s bullshit but my attending made me call.”
• Delirium and sundowning are real af. The trick is to get them home.
• Benzos aren’t just “settle down” drugs. It’s like a whisky shot through the vein in the sense that it can also disinhibit people and make wildness worse
• Get to know 1 thing about each patient other than what’s in their chart. What job did they have? What’s their favorite team? Do they have pets? You’ll remember them better when the list is large and it can make the job more rewarding
• If the nurse is worried ALWAYS go to bedside
• If you feel the urge to get a tattoo, do it
• Read everyone’s note each day on your patients
• Case managers and social workers are heroes. Get to know them and work together to get patients proper dispo
• Don’t wear your damn shoes in the call room bed after they’ve been all over that nasty ass hospital floor.
• Sit down in patient rooms if you can. It shows you’re listening, it’s less intimidating for them, and they’ll tell you more.
• Talk louder to older patients
• Try to explain things in simple terms.
• Sternal rub like you mean it
• Sit down one day, caffeinate, and do all those stupid compliance modules in a single painful bolus.
• Never make the same mistake twice
• If things don’t add up, your math is wrong. Go back to the history and exam. Go back and ask more questions.
• Some patients don’t care about their health and won’t look after it after all you do. That’s just the gig.
• If something adverse for residents goes into place on a “temporary” basis, it never goes back the other way. Fight for your rights.
• Almost everything (intubation for example) is better done at 3pm than frantically at 3am.
• You’re not crazy - the patient always tells the attending something completely different or remembers some important detail. We get it.
• Have a good comfort show to stream when you come home half dead.
• Eat and sleep when you can.
• Ask yourself what it is that’s keeping this person in the hospital
• Trust but verify (that’s actually a Russian proverb Reagan borrowed when speaking about the USSR)
• Remember to love it more than you hate it. Find a way to make it fun. They say it’s the best time you never want to have again. You get to save and improve human lives. There’s no greater calling in the world than that.

Edit: a few typos and added clarity on why some of these are beneficial

The TLDConclusions

• If you need a small passive bookshelf for under $300 and/or can't run a sub, I still think the RB42s are very hard to beat. They are certainly not perfect but nothing in this price range and size is. They are beautifully made and have a very versatile sound that can be improved even further with some minor EQ.
• If you're really low on space, the MB42X G2s have a smaller footprint than the RB42, with a very similar, but not as refined sound.
• If you have the space and the extra $70, the Kanto YU5.25 are absolutely worth it over the RB42. Their balanced frequency response and low distortion make them great for both nearfield and small/medium room listening across all music genres. My only advice is to pair them with a sub.

About my setup
The way my desk is positioned I can't have my speakers on stands next to it or mounted on the wall. They have to be on the desk, and I only have space for maximum 8" deep cabinets, so that rules out other popular options, such as the KEF Q150. All speakers were positioned about 42" center to center, toed in at 45deg and angled on 15deg Monoprice wedges. Distance from my ears was roughly 30" and from the wall - about 12". They did not resonate with my desk but did with the wall behind them so after stuffing the ports with socks didn't work, I had to resort to applying a -8dB @ Q=10 EQ at 135Hz to eliminate it. Also, probably due to their interaction with the environment, all of them showed a slight broad dip around 90-100Hz, which probably caused me to miss the resonances in this area that ASR measured on some of these models. All speakers were driven by a Loxjie A30 connected via toslink to my PC, and for music were paired with an SVS SB-1000 sub with its volume and crossover matched to each speaker pair.
About the tests
As I mostly use these for nearfield (I aimed for 60dB at my ears, measured with my phone), the Loxjie rarely went beyond 1/3 of what it was capable of, and the speakers weren't pushed even close to their limits. I typically run multiple slow sine sweeps to figure out where the peaks, valleys, and any other weirdness are. As for the more subjective part, I went through various music genres including EDM, hiphop, classical, jazz, reggae, various heavy metal subgenres, rock, as well as some audiophile albums.
About me
I'm by no means a hardcore audiophile and I'm usually a value shopper - meaning I like to pay for quality but right up to the point where diminishing returns really kick in. I do believe in a lot of the objective features high-end audio offers, but I also think there is a lot of snake oil selling involved, and very often you're paying for quality you can't actually hear. I don't do anything professionally-related to audio but am a geek when it comes to specs and objective measurements.
I'm in my late 30s and I'd like to think my hearing is still pretty good - typically what my ears hear matches measurement graphs to a large extent, but I can't hear anything beyond ~15kHz for example. My preference for frequency response is somewhere between studio flat and the Harman curve, but that depends also on the music genre. Probably goes without saying, but don't take anything I claim here for gospel - listening experience is highly subjective.
THE MINI REVIEWS
Polk ES10 (black, $249 new)
I'll admit these were my first choice to try since they were hands down my favorite visually with the contrasting gold cone and tweeter. They looked good even with the grills on, but of course I opted to leave them off. They would've won best fit and finish too if it weren't for a tiny dab of glue visible on one of the woofers. They were the second smallest of the bunch, with their design contributing to making them look even smaller.
Alas, with regards to sound, I'll place these last out of the four even if they were to cost the same as the Miccas. Overall, they sounded somewhat boring and dry, particularly with female vocals. Noticeable bass rolloff happens all the way up to 100Hz, so you definitely need to pair them with a sub. I set my sub's crossover to 120Hz to blend them in well. I noticed only one resonance at 3kHz but multiple dips - at 280Hz, 1.4, 3.3, 6.6, and 8.3kHz, the latter 3 probably contributing to the boring-sounding female vocals and sparkleless highs. Speaking of the highs, they did extend quite well, and were not fatiguing or laid back. Male vocals also sounded great.
Micca RB42 (very dark brown, $149 new)
Love them or hate them, you can't deny these have a lot going for them. Visually, what struck me was how deep they were - as deep as some medium-sized speakers, like the Kanto YU5.25. On the other hand they are very narrow, so the overall impression is of a much smaller speaker. I love how they look, and they are the only ones that I like better with the grill on - it's a very light mesh, so everything behind it is still clearly visible. Fit and finish was good but not great on mine - everything was well assembled but there were some imperfections on the edges where the front veneer meets the sides. They also come with some foam isolator wedges, so the budget conscious can save some money on buying those separately.
Sound-wise I'd give these runner up out of the four and gold in the 4" category. Like most reviewers, the first time you hear them, they have a wow factor, particularly because of their low-end frequency response - I could hear a decent thump all the way down to 50Hz. If you don't listen to a lot of EDM or hiphop, they are the only ones out of the 4 you can run without a sub. In contrast to ASR's measurements, I didn't catch the midbass overemphasis (see my setup notes), and, actually, I only noticed one resonance at 3.4Hz and one dip at 1160Hz. Out of the 4-inchers the RB42s had the smoothest treble - smooth all the way to the limits of my hearing, with a slight overemphasis around 9.5kHz. The highs, however, were a tad too fatiguing - I had to resort to lowering the volume or adding -1 or -2dB on the Loxjie's treble EQ when listening to heavy metal because my ears would start ringning after an hour of listening.
Still, as a total package, I wasn't able to find anything that can touch these at $150 - they are gorgeous and have a very versatile sound that can make any genre (except maybe heavy metal without EQ) sound great.
Micca MB42X G2 (black, $99 new)
I'll admit I bought these after I already had the RB42 and after watching Zeos' review that claimed they did some things better than the RB42.
Visually, they don't have much going for them besides their small size. I dare say, with the wide front and small cone, they look a bit ugly, especially sitting next to the RB42s. Putting the grills on didn't make things much better or worse. But you can't expect much for $99, can you?
Sound-wise, my hearing disagrees with Mr. Zeos'. I would place their sound somewhere between the ES10 and the RB42. Yes, their bass extension is almost as good as the RB42s, and yes, you could run them without a sub depending on the genres you prefer. They also had a similar resonance around 2.9kHz. However, I did notice some weird inconsistencies in the 3.2-4kHz range - depending on slight variations of the position of my head, I'd hear parts of that range suddenly dip. After that the highs sounded very similar to the RB42's - maybe slightly more uneven, but still as fatiguing.
So my verdict on these is they are fantastic for the money, but I'd skip another Doordash meal and save another $50 to get the RB42s, even if it's just for the looks.
Kanto YU5.25 (black, $229 new)
Yeah yeah, I know these are not the YU4s, which would be a fairer comparison. There are three reasons for this - 1) after looking at ASR's measurements I decided the YU4 wouldn't be good enough to dethrone the RB42; 2) I randomly found these used less than a month for $190 so I couldn't pass them up. And boy am I glad I didn't; 3) They are only 8" deep so they still fit on my small desk.
Visually, the simple minimalist aesthetic works very well. I didn't expect to like them as much as I do. What contributes to this visual impact to a large extent is the great fit and finish - every edge and seam is flawless all the way to the felt-lined port. They certainly lack the cheap feel that the MB42X have.
Sound is where they really shine. It's not a coincidence ASR recommended their powered version. However what I hear slightly differs from their measurements. In the low end, they do roll off fairly early - I can hear noticeable rolloff under 100Hz. You could run them without a sub, but the low end won't be as good as with the RB42s. I did hear the slight midbass dip ASR measured but for me it's only between 200 and 300Hz, not all the way to 900kHz. I also didn't experience the 900Hz resonance they did. Moving up in the frequency range, I did notice the minor resonance at 2.6kHz ASR did but it wasn't bothersome enough to EQ out. After that it's all smooth sailing - the highs are smooth and extend into the limits of my hearing. They have the detail and sparkle of the RB42 but without the fatigue. As a result I can (and do) listen to the Kantos all day long (don't worry I take breaks :) without getting exhausted. I thoroughly enjoy them with every music genre I've tried.

Considerations on Sexual Immorality, Gender Identity, and my friends Non-Denominational Church.
A good friend of mine from a fairly conservative evangelical background is considering becoming a pastor at his non-denominational church. As part of the evaluation process, they asked him to write a paper on these topics that he is not an expert on.
He asked for my opinion and I offered to share it online to solicit constructive criticism, notes of encouragement, and or reading recommendations on these topics.
I believe his goal is to be faithful to the scriptures, loving to those outside the church, and challenging to those inside the church, as most of us could do better.
What he wrote is in the quotation marks below.
“1: Scope of the Issue
Sexual immorality has become a besetting and ubiquitous issue in our culture and in our churches. While many aspects of it are not novel or unique to this time and have clear scriptural input, there are others that bring challenges to our church for which we don’t have obvious precedent. The main point of these comments is to try and answer three questions with some degree of specificity: (1) how do we make ourselves a place where people who do not know Christ will feel welcome to come and learn of Him regardless of where they come from, (2) how do we pastorally care for people who have come in to the church with pre-existing circumstances related to sexual immorality, and (3) how do we equip our members to represent Christ to those in their lives that are dealing with these issues. We want to do this in a way that does not “walk a tight rope” or compromise to appease, but honors Scripture in its commands to both show compassion and exhort and correct. We must recognize that every individual circumstance is unique, and many will require careful and prayerful consideration, but this is meant to give a framework for that consideration.
2: Scriptural Basis for Corporate Response
There are many references we can point to that discuss and define sexual immorality throughout Scripture and many of these will be used below as we consider specific examples and situations. Let us start, however, by looking at passages that deal with corporate response rather than individual sin. It is clear that the Corinthian church had significant issues in this area, and much of Paul’s first letter was devoted to it. In chapter 5, Paul states that when sexual immorality is discovered in the church we should “mourn” over it and “not to associate with immoral people.” Importantly, he also makes clear in vv. 9-13 that these comments only apply to those “who bears the name of brother.” He explicitly writes, “not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world…for what have I to do with judging outsiders?” This is key in informing our response to those who are not members of the church. If it is our desire to see sinners come through our doors and come to know our Savior through our ministry, then we must be welcoming, accepting them where they are. This is not to say we hide or compromise the biblical position, but it is not an issue on which we want to filter people at the door. There are three categories of people in sexual sin that we need to form a response for. First, those just coming to the church who have not committed to it – these should be treated the same as any we are reaching out to with Christ’s love. They need Jesus, not behavioral change. Next, those who have recently joined the church but have pre-existing sexual sin patterns. This can and should be addressed with patience, dignity, and love. There are often many sin areas in the life of a new believer, and it is prudent to discern how and when to address each of them. Lastly, those who have been members in the church for some amount of time and fall into sexual sin. This is the group that Paul is primarily addressing in 1 Corinthians. While sex within marriage is a private issue, sexual sin cannot be a taboo topic. It needs to be addressed regularly and clearly. We need close enough relationships within the church that such problems do not fester in the dark. We must avoid the typical church pattern to vilify the first group, never see the second group, and pretend the third group doesn’t exist until it all blows up in scandal. May it never be.
3: Consistency Issue
There is a tendency in our Christian culture to treat some sexual sins as worse than others. Like the Corinthians, some things we seem to have accepted as just ubiquitous parts of our culture. Knowing the prevalence of promiscuity and fornication among teens and single adults and usage of pornography even within the church, we tend to address these as issues of indwelling sin, similar to anger or fear of man, with offers of accountability and understanding when someone falls. By contrast, when it comes to homosexuality or adultery, it is often a church discipline issue. We view homosexual marriage as a major problem, but remarriage after a non-biblical divorce is rarely addressed. These inconsistencies lead to stigmatization and polarization and should have no place in the church. The criterion for escalation should be unrepentance, not the nature of the sexual sin. It is clear from 1 Corinthians that all should be taken seriously, but none should be vilified above others.
4: Culture and Identity
The major underlying problem with many of the sexual sin and gender issues is that they have come to be culturally bound up with people’s identities. This is not a new phenomenon and is not unique to this issue. As far back as Acts 19, you see people becoming “enraged” because Paul had threatened the Ephesians’ cultural identity as worshipers of Artemis. People continue to find their primary identities in their employment, hobbies, sports teams, or families rather than Christ. None of these should be accepted, but none should be reviled either. If a person does not know Jesus, they are dead. How they identify themselves is of no concern. Once they have been made alive, they can be taught that “whose” they are is more important than “who” they are. All identity outside of Christ is not sinful, but if it takes paramount importance, it may become so. A person who recognizes a tendency toward same sex attraction may label themselves as gay or lesbian. This should not be considered a sin issue unless it becomes, for them, their defining characteristic or leads to sinful actions. We should recognize the difficulty of this struggle and support such a person rather than get hung up on labels. There must be clear distinction between identifying same sex attraction and engaging in homosexual behavior. These should be the guiding principles underlying everything that follows are regards individual cases.
5: Public Facing Information, Guests, and New Attendees
Considering what we have discussed, and Paul’s assertion in 1 Corinthians 5 that we ought to reserve judgment on sexual immorality to those we call brother, I would submit that public facing information regarding the church (i.e. website, app, etc) should not publish a position on sexual immorality, marriage, and gender identity. Doing so effectively places the filter at the door so that people who do not know Christ may be turned away from it. This is not tantamount to tacit approval. In appropriate contexts within the church, these topics should still be discussed and addressed, but I do not believe it is consistent with a biblical treatment of unbelievers to place it in a public facing forum. If we have guests or new regular attendees who appear to be engaged in a cohabitating or fornicating relationship, a homosexual relationship, or other sexual sin, this should not be a priority to address unless we have discerned that they are believers and join the church. Even then, it is important to draw a distinction between someone who deals with same-sex attraction and someone who engages in homosexual behavior. The next seven points are meant to discuss, in broad terms, how we should address those who join the church with pre-existing relationships or identity issues:
6: Promiscuity, Cohabitation – Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor 7:1-2, Ex 22:16
Much of the biblical discussion on promiscuity is by inference. Clearly, sex was meant to be inseparably linked to marriage and outside of that context should be considered immoral. For those who join the church already in a sexual relationship who are unmarried we should apply Exodus 22:16 and encourage them to marry as soon as possible. If they do not wish to marry, they should be encouraged to separate. Paul acknowledges in 1 Cor 7:2 that marriage is the best remedy for “temptation to sexual immorality.”
7: Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage – Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:10-11
This issue is given much more explicit biblical instruction but is often glossed over in our Christian culture due to the messy landscape of divorces and remarriages. In cases where non-biblical divorce has occurred, if reconciliation is possible, this should be pursued. If reconciliation is impossible because one or more parties have remarried, it would not be sensible to divorce again in order to achieve reconciliation. The principle to apply here, I believe, is from 1 Cor 7:17-24 summarized in verse 20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” This is not an ideal circumstance, but it is the best way forward in an imperfect world. Of note, polygamy was common in the culture of the early church, and while not ideal, was accepted by the church, as evidenced by the qualifications for elder to be “a husband of but one wife.” We have polygamous cultures even within our local community and if they came to Christ, we should not counsel them to divorce all but one wife and thus disrupt their social structure. It is not ideal and would disqualify them from eldership, but they should remain as they are. Whether marriage after unbiblical divorce in the past disqualifies a man from eldership is a case-by case question for the eldership.
8: Pornography, Sensuality, and Lust – Lev 18:6-18, Matt 5:28
As mentioned above, use of pornography has reached a high saturation point within our culture and within our church. While once thought of as simply a male issue, there is a growing trend toward gender parity in pornography usage. It is an issue that should be discussed with some frequency within our church. For those that join the church and view pornography regularly, it needs to be made clear that while the world has largely destigmatized it, it is still sexual immorality. Furthermore, this isn’t just limited to nudity and pornography, but any sensuality that leads to looking at someone “with lustful intent” is the heart equivalent of adultery according to Matt 5:28. In our culture, it is not possible to avoid such things by just turning away. We need to address the heart issues of idolatry, selfishness, and satisfaction in Christ. Practically, how should we deal with those who have on-going struggles with pornography, sensuality and lust? Should this preclude them from eldership? From deaconship? Taken strictly, this would preclude nearly all men from eldership. These require individual evaluation from the elders, but a guiding principle should be, if the person is repentant and there is evidence of growth in their life, we should consider more responsibility and continued discipleship.
9: Homosexuality – Lev 18:22, Lev 20:13, 1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 1:8-11
From the above references and others, it is evident that homosexual behavior is sexual sin. We cannot equivocate on that point. As we have discussed above, if a person who is already a believer and in the church and struggles with same sex attraction, we should approach them as we would handle anyone who is sexually attracted to someone to whom they are not married. If such a person decides that homosexuality is not sinful and begins sexually immoral activity, we should deal with them in the same way as any member who falls into unrepentant sin and go through the processes of correction and, if necessary, of church discipline. It is important that we draw a distinction between same sex attraction and homosexual behavior. We can do tremendous harm by demonizing same sex attraction and creating a taboo around it. A person who is struggling to abstain from homosexual behavior should be supported and encouraged. I believe Paul’s strong statements about not associating with sexually immoral people applies to those who remain unrepentant. Much more nuanced is the issue of how we address those that join the church already in a homosexual relationship. What about the married homosexual couple who join the church with their adopted child? Should we break up their family? I believe, in this case, the same principle should apply as to those who have gone through an unbiblical divorce in the past. We should apply 1 Cor 7:20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” We can recognize that this is not ideal, but it is the best we can do in a fallen world just as we do with someone who is married after unbiblical divorce. Whether should apply to a homosexual couple in a long term committed relationship who are not legally married would be an individual discussion with the elders. Again, these are nuanced cases that will need individual prayer, discussion, and discernment. I believe a great deal more patience is called for when a new believer joins the church that has a history or present reality of homosexuality, even if they are unrepentant at first, believing that homosexuality is not sinful, than we would demonstrate to a person who has been in the church for a period of time and then decides to pursue a homosexual relationship.
10: Bisexuality – Heb 13:4
Bisexual attraction is no more or less of an issue than anyone who finds that they are sexually attracted to someone other than their spouse. This is not a rare or unique circumstance, even within the church. Someone who is practicing bisexuality is, by definition, not confining sex to the marriage bed, and this, therefore, qualifies as sexual immorality. The issue, here again, is one of identity and cultural acceptance. If a person “identifies as bisexual,” the real issue is not the bisexuality, but the fact that they identify themselves primarily by their sexual desires, and not by Christ. It would be equally a problem if they “identified as heterosexual” and that was seen as their defining characteristic. If such a person were to join the church, our priority should be in helping them see their identity in Christ rather than focusing on renouncing their sexual preference.
11: Transgenderism/Non-binarism – Psalm 139: 13-15
It should be noted that the next two points should not be considered in the category of sexual immorality, but as they are connected to the same cultural moment will be discussed here. It should further be remarked that transgenderism is a modern issue with no direct reference in Scripture. It is a challenging issue that often falls prey to oversimplification and scapegoating. It is not sufficient to simply state that a person should identify with their born gender. There are those born with ambiguous genitalia and those born with sex chromosome abnormalities such that “born gender” is not necessarily accurate. These occur with a frequency of 1 in 448 births on average which is not particularly rare. The majority of people who consider themselves to be transgender do not fall into these categories, but the fact remains that these categories exist. Unless we plan to embark on genetic testing, we must be careful how we assert someone’s gender assignment. Furthermore, we must acknowledge that much of the gender confusion in our culture is due to a distortion of biblically accurate masculinity and femininity in our culture of which the church has been widely supportive for generations. Many transgender and non-binary individuals consider themselves so because they do not fit into the traditional boxes our culture has created for the genders. The church can start by recognizing that these boxes are incorrect. We can also acknowledge that gender differences and roles are far less important than most human cultures perceive. Christ himself challenged many gender norms in his ministry and Paul maintains “…there is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28b) It is much more difficult to recognize this issue as a sin issue than many of the above concerns. If someone wishes to be addressed by different pronouns than they once did or dress differently than they once did, this does not amount to immorality. Once again, this can be an idolatrous identity issue if the person sees it as the central characteristic of their lives. There is often an inherent pride in asserting that such a person does not feel they fit in the body created for them, but if they come to love Jesus and understand and believe that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” then this issue may become moot. Whether or not they revert to dressing differently or using pronouns they did when they were younger is largely immaterial. This also addresses the issue of people who may have undergone permanent physical changes. While we should not endorse such modification if it is being considered, there is no reason to reverse such a thing in order to return to a base state. We must recognize that this is a group that has a high propensity toward mental health concerns, instability, and suicidality. They need love, support and prayer, not scapegoating and extra-biblical expectations of conforming to a cultural norm. We must further note that this group as well as the homosexual group have often experienced psychological and even physical harm from others in our culture, sometimes in the name of Christ. We must foster an environment of champions physical and psychological safety for these people.
12: Asexuality – 1 Cor 7:25-38
Asexuality also should not be considered sexual immorality. There is, in fact, wide support in Paul’s letters such as in 1 Cor 7 for people, if they are able, to remain unmarried and be “anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.” We tend to champion the model of the nuclear family in our Christian culture, but Paul sees chaste singleness as a better way. There should be no pressure from the church to make sure that single people pair off and get married because it is expected of them. As this state has been culturally identified with the LGBTQIA movement, it is seen on the same spectrum as the sexual immorality and gender issues discussed above, but it is not. It can still fall prey to the same issue of an idolatrous identity as some of the above issues, but it need not be so.
13: Glass Ceiling
In the event that God sees fit to bring people from these subgroups into our church, there would inevitably be a glass ceiling. The question is at what point. The four logical points are: regular attender, member, deacon, and elder. Regardless of their background or position, all should be welcome to be a regular attender. It is also clear, from the biblical requirements for eldership, that on-going problems or engagement in any of the sexual sins would disqualify them from that post. The middle two are less clear. I would submit that the bar for membership should be very low. This step, in my opinion, is when they would “bear the name of brother” and not before. Even if they disagree about the sinful nature of homosexuality, this should not disallow them from becoming members as long as they agree to submit to the churches position and not cause division. Allowing them to become members gives us the pastoral authority to speak into their lives, and we would hope that over time the Spirit would work in their hearts to convince them of the truth. Putting such a person in a deacon role would probably not be wise but would need to be evaluated prayerfully on a case-by-case basis. The difficulty here is that, while a position on homosexuality is not a salvific issue and should not be considered a core doctrine in the same way as the deity of Christ, for example, it is a sin issue. There is a limit to how far we can “agree to disagree” and still uphold our duty to root out sin in our midst. Once again, we should also distinguish between a struggle with same sex attraction and engagement in homosexual behavior when we consider our response. There is also a glass ceiling when it comes to marriage. While I believe we should not break up existing homosexual marriages, we should not participate in creating them. The marriage covenant between a man and woman was created, in part, to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5). This should not be co-opted to excuse or normalize immorality.
14: Nuance and Edge Cases
The above outline is by no means meant to be exhaustive or definitive. It is meant to provide a lens, supported by scripture, through which we can view these issues and consider corporate and pastoral responses. It should inform how we view the people that walk through the door from a wide range of backgrounds and how we equip those in our church to be Christ’s ambassadors to those in our community. Every person and circumstance, history and baggage will be different, and any non-nuanced position would be inherently evil. I pray we have many opportunities to talk, think and pray through specific situations that God would bless us with the chance to be a part of. What an honor it would be to be used to reach into broken lives like these with the Gospel of Grace.
15: Action Steps
As we consider practical and philosophical ways of responding to the above, I believe we should start from a position of corporate repentance. If we wish to truly reach out and touch the lives of broken people in need of a Savior who live a life of same sex attraction or gender dysphoria, we need to begin by recognizing that a great deal of harm, emotional and physical, has been inflicted on this group by the Church for generations. There are homeless people living in our area who were kicked out of their homes by parents holding a Bible. There are those who have been subjected to horrific methods that amount to torture under the guise of “Conversion Therapy” from Christian organizations. The only “conversion” we should concern ourselves with is to a regenerate heart. Attempting to change someone’s sexual attraction is very much beside the point. We cannot hope to be a place where such people can hear about Jesus unless they feel safe to enter our doors. We must also fight the tendency to consider sin in this area as something worse than others, even in non-Christians. James 2 says “…For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it….So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” As we consider corporate and pastoral responses to the argument above, we must start by removing our own planks and repenting for the historical actions of the Church.
Practical steps that we could consider taking would include: removing the statements from the website about marriage and sexuality, especially directly under our Core Beliefs. Again, this is not meant to hide or equivocate on the truth, but not to set such a barrier before someone even walks through our door. Secondly, we should consider how to address these topics within the church. A Sunday morning sermon is not ideal as it is time limited and a unidirectional conversation. A small group course format would be a consideration. We need to equip parents and family members of adolescents, teens, and adults with language to talk about these things in loving, humble, God-honoring ways. In the longer term, we need to consider how we can make our church a place where people would feel comfortable inviting friends and family who look, think and act differently than we do. We need to find a way of projecting safety and inclusion even in our public facing information. This isn’t a balancing act where we must make it clear early and often that we “love the sinner but hate the sin” as the saying goes. We just need to love the sinner. Dealing with the sin can come later God-willing. A third application point is to be mindful of what we say and what we allow to be said without being checked. Certainly, joking at the expense of those who are dealing with these issues is unacceptable, but we also need to work to avoid getting dragged in to pseudo-political discussions on bathroom issues, sports issues or other divisive concerns that have no bearing on the church.
I recognize that these proposals have the potential to divide the church. There are some who may leave the body over these sorts of changes. I would argue that it is our responsibility to them as well as to the unreached in our community to have those discussions and risk some of them leaving over it. These are not all things we should change overnight but after ample opportunities for discussions and prayer.
16: Conclusion – Mark 2:15-17
At its core, these are not issues of who someone loves, sexual attraction, or even specific sex acts. The core is idolatry and identity. When acceptance by others, self-determination, or physical pleasure become the central force driving our lives then we have become idolators. Though our idols take on different shapes, the struggles in this space are shared by all. Whether you are identified by your profession, your family, or your gender identity, you are not being identified by your Master. Building fences around or within the church because someone sins in a different way than us cannot be allowed. Making the excuse that we are somehow “protecting our children” by shielding them from people in our community who desperately need a Savior will not show our children who Jesus is. Within the church, we cannot be afraid to “speak the truth in love.” We need not and cannot shy away from sin in the church, but we must recognize that the Spirit works in each of our lives. Often this happens over a period of time. We should be prepared to walk alongside our brothers and sisters in this journey for as long as they need.
There is a significant correlation between this community and their relationship with religious groups, and the “tax collectors and sinners” that Jesus sought out in His ministry and their relationship with the religious leaders of the day. Our heart should reflect His. Jesus responded: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17) If our church was filled with transgender people and gay families that loved Jesus, God would be glorified.”
Thank you in advance for any constructive criticism, notes of encouragement to and or reading recommendations on these topics that I can pass along.

After being in a relationship with two pwBPD (yes I know lol), one relationship lasting two years and the other lasting a month, and reading through this sub, I notice a lot of pwBPD using therapy speak as a way to justify their abusive/wrong behavior. I think there is a time and place for “therapy speak”.. and that is AT THERAPY. They have also used their therapist as a way to escape accountability— example being “Oh my therapist said you need to ___” etc.
In my recent month of dating my exBpd, the final argument was when I didn’t heart her instagram story one time, after a build up of arguments over her not liking an inside joke we both have, and her being upset for me calling out her talking about her exes too much, and many other things. Im not sure what she wanted from the conversation (its in my post history) but I wasnt validating her enough and she said it was degrading.
Important context: I am autistic. She knows this and honestly brought it up DAILY. As an autistic person (diagnosed last year), being bombarded with long, emotionally charged paragraphs is overwhelming and draining.
My ex would romanticize? me being autistic, saying its “stoic and mysterious”.. but never held actual space for the things I experience and when I act authentically autistic she says i am not communicating well or Im being like a “cold vault”. Even though she made my autism my entire identity, as she did with her adhd and bpd.
I was expected daily to essentially "mind-read" and manage her long emotional outbursts, that were disguised in a “mature” way, using therapy speak, written like a letter to H.R, overuse of the words “boundaries” and “anxious/avoidant attatchment” , Me not wanting to deeply delve into a wall of texts back and forth for days on end about how me forgetting to like her story meant to her that i was “stonewalling” and “avoiding” and “not communicating” and she “doesnt deserve this treatment”. I communicated quite clearly and shortly while sticking to my boundaries and this upset her. She’d say “But you’re so emotionally intelligent, why arent you communicating with me?”
People who aren't truly committed to growth and healing honestly use these words /terms as a smokescreen to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. It's a lot easier to say that you're "all about growth and healing and communication" than it is to actually do the hard work of examining your own behavior and making meaningful changes and having empathy for others. She also was not in therapy so its strange. My ex often asked me to “think for her” and work her through HER emotions like a therapist, and if i declined I was “stone walling”
Ive noticed this epidemic not just in bpd relationships but its the point where misuse/abuse of terms like “boundaries, attachment style,gaslighting,” and very long messages airing out your entire stream of consciousness to your partner has caused me an extreme burn out and become a bit of a red flag to me.
Im interested in anyone else’s experiences with this. Also if anyone else had to deeply delve into deep talks with them daily?