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For context, I've been a faithful Mormon believer all of my life until the age of 45+. I live in Layton since 2003. I stopped attending in 2013, and my children (minors at the time) happily stopped attending too. I formally resigned in 2017. Haven't put a foot in a Mormon building of any kind in more than a decade. Haven't attended a Mormon tEmpLe in at least 15 years.
A week ago my youngest daughter, now a young adult who just finished her semester in AZ, came to spend a week with me before going to the East coast to spend summer with her mother. While I've answered all her questions about Mormonism whenever she has asked throughout the years, she doesn't remember much about it because the whole family stopped attending shortly after she was baptized. She was instantly curious when I mentioned the new monstrosity built in our hometown. Knowing it is still in its "open house" period I offered to go and visit it.

• We had to park at one of several designated parking lots several blocks away from the actual building. A shuttle picked the small crowd gathered there and took us to the disproportionate structure.
  
• The tour was procedural. Guides (which were Mormon volunteers of all ages, almost all of them looked hopelessly bored) were stationed all along the route inside the building's corridors to direct visitors in the approved directions.
  
• Short speeches were read or recited in certain parts. Known tropes were repeated (like the mirrors symbolizing eTeRnItY, etc). Something that resembled a Mormon testimony was said at one of the sealing rooms by a couple using the expected baby fundie voice (my daughter looked obliquely at me during that part with a cringe expression in her face).
  
• Many paintings on the walls representing a white Jesus talking, blessing, embracing, carrying, etc ethnic people, which is an obvious effort at ingratiating after more than a century of institutionalized racism.
  

Once the shuttle left us at our original parking lot and we were free from earshot, I asked my daughter what her impressions were. She thought for a few seconds and said "It was like a rich person bragging. Just showing off luxury." Then we engaged in a very refreshing conversation about the Mormon motivations for such a extravagant (and inexcusable) opulence, etc.
On my part, visiting a Mormon tEmpLe after a 15+ year hiatus allowed me to perceive it with fresh eyes, heart, mind; and (more importantly) with richer criteria. My impression is this: it felt like a one inch deep attempt at sacredness; a superficial attempt to display the image of spirituality through expensive materialism. There was no substance within those walls. No history, no content, no god, no love. Just expensive marble and expensive wood and expensive carpet. It was... an empty building.
Any Catholic cathedral, any museum, any library has so much more substance, content, essence, meaning than the ostentatious building we visited last week.
This is my report.

There’s a lot to learn when you’re new to RVing. After purchasing your RV and equipping it with the right gear, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed trying to select where to camp. So we asked the question: what are the best RV trips for beginners?
Of course, we have our own opinions, but we wanted to see what the RV community felt. We asked experienced RVers which destinations or campgrounds they would recommend for beginners. With over 150 replies, here are the top five answers:

1. Somewhere close to home
2. State parks
3. Good Sam Campgrounds
4. Your backyard
5. National parks

(Runner-up: Wal-Mart parking lot).

Why Stay Close to Home on Your First RV Trip as a Beginner?

The overwhelming majority of experienced RVers recommended sticking to somewhere close to home as a beginner. Their reasons were practical:

• You know where to go (home or familiar stores) if you forget supplies.
• You’re not far from your community if you need help.
• If something breaks down, towing your RV back to your house won't take long or cost too much.
• You do less driving and more time getting familiar with your RV.
• You won’t hurt your wallet on gas expenses if you overpack (which most first-timers do!)

Boondocking in your backyard is a great way to learn about your RV and its systems. Just remember: Depending on your RV, you’ll need potable water, a way to empty your holding tanks, and a proper power supply – 30 or 50 amps.

Which Locations Make For The Best RV Trips for Beginners?

We collected specific recommendations for those who want to venture out while staying close to home. These came directly from experienced RVers nationwide who were willing to share their favorite destinations for RV newbies.
Because we don’t know where home is for you, we organized this list of the best RV trips for beginners and organized them by region.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Northeast

Bayley’s Camping Resort – Scarborough, Maine

Park Features:

• 512 full hookup sites
• 75’ pull-thru sites
• 44’ back-in sites
• Weekly entertainment schedule
• Recreation facilities
• Pools, restaurants, camp stores, and an arcade

Learn more or Book now.

Kennebec River Campground – The Forks, Maine

Park Features:

• Six secluded RV sites with electric hookups
• Full restaurant and brewery with deck seating
• Swimming pool and hot tub
• Bathhouse with hot, running water
• Easy access to the Kennebec River
• Base camp for whitewater rafting, snowmobiling, and other Maine adventures

Learn more or Book now.

Gettysburg Battlefield RV Resort – Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Park Features:

• 250 RV sites
• 60’ maximum RV length
• Battlefield reenactment grounds, Olympic swimming pool, and stocked fishing pond
• Game room, general store, and ice cream parlor
• Canoe, kayak, and paddle boat rentals
• Themed activities, nature trail, and laundry facilities

Learn more.

Quechee / Pine Valley – Hartford, Vermont

Park Features:

• Full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp service)
• 85’ maximum RV length
• Off-leash dog park and activity field
• Bike, canoe, and banana bike rentals
• Heating swimming pool (open 5/27 to 9/5)
• Saturday hay rides, playground adventures, and family fishing at the pond

Learn more or Book now.

Cherrystone Campground – Cape Charles, Virginia

Park Features:

• Open seasonally from 4/1 to 10/31
• 181 full hookup 30 amp sites (87 wateelectric only 30 amp sites)
• 121 full hookup 50 amp sites
• Private beach, beach entry pool, and two Olympic-sized pools
• Lazy river, mini golf course, and four fishing piers
• Daily shuttle service into Downtown Cape Charles

Learn more.

Holiday Trav-L-Park – Virginia Beach, Virginia

Why They Recommended: “The place is pretty big (but tight, please know HOW to drive). It has seven pools, a bar, a restaurant, laundry, concerts, and a little trolley that will take you to the beach for even more entertainment.”
Park Features:

• 700 RV sites (full hookup and wateelectric only)
• Wooded, partly shaded, or open site locations
• Maximum RV length varies by site type
• On-site laundromat, Safari Cafe, and eight tiled comfort stations
• Trolley from the cafe to the beach and beyond
• Dog park, bike path, and convenience store

Learn more or Book now.

Virginia Beach Holiday – Virginia Beach, Virginia

Why They Recommended: “They just put in a lazy river and a brand new pool. It’s state-of-the-art!”
Park Features:

• Full hookup sites with 50, 30, and 20 amp compatibility
• 45’ maximum RV length
• Two heated pools, a lazy river, and a splash pad
• Trolley stop for exploring the nearby Virginia Beach waterfront
• Community bonfire, dog park, and electric vehicle charging station
• Bicycle, golf cart, and pedal cart rentals

Learn more or Book now.

New River Gorge Campground – Lansing, West Virginia

Park Features:

• Full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp)
• Views of ponds, sunsets, and nightly firefly displays (seasonally)
• Catch-and-release fishing
• Hiking and biking trails, swimming, and kayaking nearby
• Nearby rock climbing, rafting, and horseback riding

Learn more.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Southeast

Wind Creek State Park – Alexander City, Alabama

Park Features:

• 586 campsites with wateelectric hookups
• 157 waterfront campsites and 268 full hookup sites with sewer
• Two laundry facilities at the marina and a bathhouse
• Archery range, fishing, and mini golf course
• Boat rentals, horseback rides, and zipline canopy tours
• Sunday services, swimming area, and outdoor pavilions

Learn more or Book now.

Everglades Isle – Everglades City, Florida

Park Features:

• 59 full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp)
• Concrete pads (waterfront and inland) with daily trash service
• Clubhouse laundry facilities and complimentary Wi-Fi
• Luxury clubhouse with drinks, food, billiards, movies, and more
• Fitness center, office space, and veranda seating
• Lounge area, salon, and spa

Learn more or Book now.

Orlando / Kissimmee – Kissimmee, Florida

Why They Recommended: “Orlando has the best prices all year round! It’s in close proximity to Universal Studios, Disney, Disney Springs, lots of attractions, several grocery stores, and restaurants. Target even ships deliveries there.”
Park Features:

• Full hookup RV sites with 134’ maximum RV length (30 and 50 amp)
• Bike rentals, mini pocket park, and access to the public bus service
• Dog park, outdoor pavilion, and fitness center
• Heated swimming pool, hot tub, and sauna (open year-round)
• Electric vehicle charging station and taxi service
• Jump pad and playground for the kids

Learn more or Book now.

Fisheating Creek Outpost – Palmdale, Florida

Why They Recommended: “The lots have much more space than most parks. You are not three feet from your neighbor.”
Park Features:

• 18,000+ acre wildlife management area
• 48 full hookup RV sites (5 of which are ADA-accessible)
• The swimming area at Depot Lake
• Large pond with two islands near the Camp Store
• Canoe rentals and Riverside Cafe (open seasonally)
• Large screened recreation area with central bathhouse

Learn more or Book now.

Big Lagoon State Park – Pensacola, Florida

Park Features:

• ~75 campsites (some RV or tent, some tent-only, some RV-only)
• 40’ maximum RV length
• Swimming, boating, fishing, and paddling
• Biking, stargazing, and geocaching
• Access to the Florida Circumnavigational Saltwater Paddling Trail
• Boat launch, playground, and amphitheater

Learn more or Book now.

Jetty Park Campground – Port Canaveral, Florida

Park Features:

• 358 total sites (variety of water-only and wateelectric hookups)
• Bathhouses and communal fire pits.
• Views of rocket launches from Canaveral Air Force Station
• Shuffleboard courts and horseshoe pits
• Daily arrivals and departures of cruise ships and submarines
• Camp store and nearby fishing pier

Learn more or Book now.

Smith Ridge Campground – Campbellsville, Kentucky

Park Features:

• 80 campsites (62 with water and electric hookups)
• Flush toilets, showers, fire rings, and potable water
• Kid’s playground and easy access to miles of hiking trails
• Frisbee golf course, boat ramp, and swimming beach
• Fishing pier, marina, and picnic areas

Learn ore.

Mountain Stream RV Park – Marion, North Carolina

Park Features:

• 44 full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
• 45’ maximum RV length
• Access to Buck Creek along two edges of the campground
• Five miles from the Blue Ridge Parkway
• Dog park, kid’s playground, and outdoor pavilion
• Camp store and bathhouse with showers and toilets

Learn more or Book now.

North Myrtle Beach RV Resort – Little River, South Carolina

Park Features:

• Oversized full hookup sites and a fully-stocked camp store
• Views of the nearby Intracoastal Waterway
• Swimming pool with a slide and splash pad for the kids
• 60-slip boat dock with observation deck
• Live music every weekend during the summer
• Food and drinks on the water at the Tiki Bar and Grill

Learn more or Book now.

Myrtle Beach State Park – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Park Features:

• 140 standard water and electric campsites
• 138 full hookup sites
• All sites are located about 300 yards from the beach
• 30-40’ maximum RV length
• Beach access for pets and bikes is restricted to certain time periods (see site for more info)
• Nearby access to birding, fishing, swimming, hiking, biking, horseback riding, and more

Learn more or Book now.

PirateLand Family Camping Resort – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Park Features:

• 748 full hookup sites
• Access to free Wi-Fi and daily trash pickup at each site
• Gated entrance with 24/7 patrol crew
• Eight climate-controlled bathhouses with toilets and showers
• Fully stocked camp store, outdoor chapel, and laundry facility
• On-site water park with Olympic swimming pool, lazy river, and more

Learn more or Book now.

Ocean Lakes Family Campground – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Park Features:

• 859 full hookup sites with free Wi-Fi
• 649 concrete pad sites with 45’ maximum RV length
• 19 total beach accesses
• Three-acre family fun center with game center, mini golf, swimming pool, and more
• Volleyball, shuffleboard, and basketball courts
• Nearby Ocean Lakes Nature Center Discover Lab with more than 10,000 shells and fossils

Learn more or Book now.

Anchor Down RV Resort – Dandridge, Tennessee

Park Features:

• 170 concrete full hookup sites
• All sites at least 50’ long by 18’ wide (sites differ by type and location)
• Basketball, gaga ball, pickleball, and volleyball courts
• Boat, jet ski, and golf cart rentals
• Leash-free pet park, beach area, and campground cafe
• Saltwater kiddie pool and large pool with waterslide (open Memorial Day to Labor Day)

Learn more or Book now.

Cherokee Dam Campground – Jefferson City, Tennessee

Park Features:

• 44 total sites (39 with water and electric)
• Views of the lake and mountains from nearly every site
• Sites require a two-night minimum stay
• The use of a water pressure regulator is highly recommended
• Nearby access to swimming and birdwatching
• Large public boat ramp nearby

Learn more or Book now.

Melton Hill Dam Campground – Lenoir City, Tennessee

Park Features:

• 61 total sites (35 with water and electric)
• Sites require a two-night minimum stay
• Two bathhouses with showers and flush toilets
• Designated swimming area
• Canoe and boat ramp access
• Free dump station access

Learn more or Book now.

Camp Margaritaville RV Resort and Lodge – Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Park Features:

• Full hookup concrete campsites
• Complimentary Wi-Fi and cable TV
• Nearby Fin City Entertainment Center with arcade, bowling, billiards, and more
• Nearby pool recreation area with water slides, lazy river, and kid zone
• Pet park, camp store, and kid’s playground
• Live entertainment, breakfast buffet, and barestaurant

Learn more or Book now.

Little Arrow Outdoor Resort – Townsend, Tennessee

Park Features:

• Luxury and standard full hookup RV sites
• Luxury sites with outdoor sink and cabana
• Standard sites with paved patios and fire rings
• 24/7 coffee lounge with playroom and movie/book exchange
• Zero-entry pool with grottos, hot tub, and splash pad
• 1-2 miles of quiet, peaceful hiking trails

Learn more or Book now.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Midwest

Sycamore Springs Park – English, Indiana

Park Features:

• 30 and 50-amp sites with a 55’ minimum site length
• Full hookup, wateelectric, and primitive camping available
• Free firewood and fire pits on all sites
• Modern restrooms and shower houses
• Family-friendly camping with no alcohol allowed on the grounds
• Fishing, hiking and picnicking available

Learn more or Book now.

Lake Rudolph Campground and RV Resort – Santa Claus, Indiana

Park Features:

• Open season 5/1 to 10/31
• 146 full hookup 50-amp sites
• 110 full hookup 30-amp sites
• Gem mining, golf cart rentals, and take-out dining
• Swimming pool, dog park, and water park
• Free shuttle service to the theme park and water park

Learn more.

Grand Haven State Park – Grand Haven, Michigan

Park Features:

• 48-acre park with Lake Michigan to the west and the Grand River to the north
• 174 paved campsites
• Steps away from the beach and the river
• Scenic views of the Grand Haven pier and two lighthouses
• Boardwalk along the Grand River for fishing or walking
• Accessible playground, picnic area, and modern restrooms

Learn more or Book now.

Otsego Lake State Park – Gaylord, Michigan

Park Features:

• 155 campsites (split between the North and South campgrounds)
• Half-mile sandy beach with designated swim area
• Kayak, paddleboard, and canoe rentals for day-use
• Nearby access to the Iron Belle Trail for hiking, biking, and snowmobiling
• Fishing pier and boat launch
• Designated beach area for metal detecting

Learn more or Book now.

Itasca State Park – Park Rapids, Minnesota

Park Features:

• 223 drive-in campsites in two campgrounds (160 electric-only)
• 60’ maximum RV length
• Seasonal dump station available in the Bear Paw Campground
• Interpretive exhibits and year-round naturalist programs
• Two-hour excursion boat tours of Lake Itasca
• Nearby restaurant and cafe (open seasonally)

Learn more or Book now.

Silver Dollar City Campground – Branson, Missouri

Park Features:

• Full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
• Picnic table and fire ring at each site
• Kid’s playground and swimming pool (open 5/28-9/5)
• Nearby theme park, water park, and dinner cruises
• Clubhouse with supplies and an air-conditioned lounge with Wi-Fi
• Complimentary shuttle service into Silver Dollar City

Learn more or Book now.

Lake Mcconaughy State Recreation Area – Brule, Nebraska

Park Features:

• Seven developed campgrounds
• Reservable and first-come, first-served campsites
• Reservable beach camping in 17 designated zones
• Reservations required 5/20 to 9/10
• Archery range, swimming, and playground
• Boating, fishing, and hunting

Learn more or Book now.

Mt. Gilead Holiday – Mt. Gilead, Ohio

Park Features:

• 150 acres of walking trails
• Dog park, playground, and fishing ponds
• Golf driving range
• Zero-entry swimming pool (open 5/26-9/4)
• Golf course rentals, sand volleyball, and ‘The Bonfire Bar’

Learn more or Book now.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the South

The Woodlands RV Resort – Heber Springs, Arkansas

Park Features:

• 71 full hookup sites
• Five minutes from beaches, boat ramps, restaurants, and a golf course
• Easy access to hiking and biking trails
• Swimming pool, playground, and fishing pond
• Bathhouse, laundry room, and dog run coming soon

Learn more or Book now.

Sarah’s Seaside RV Oasis – Grand Isle, Louisiana

Why They Recommended: It’s the most laid back!
Park Features:

• Full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
• Family and pet-friendly
• Walking distance from restaurants, shopping, and bars
• Renowned for nearby world-class fishing and birdwatching
• Seasonal events like holiday decorating contests, seafood boils, movie nights, and more

Learn more.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Southwest

Mather Campground – Grand Canyon Village, Arizona

Park Features:

• 327 primitive campsites with fire rings, a cooking grate, and a picnic table
• Flush toilets and drinking water spigots throughout
• Free dump station at Camper Services nearby
• Generators not permitted in Pine Loop (sites 265-319)
• Easy access to a paved walking and biking trail leading to overlooks and the visitor center

Learn more.

Tucson Lazydays – Tucson, Arizona

Park Features:

• 360 full hookup sites
• 73’ maximum RV length
• Pet-friendly sites, dog park, and dog wash available
• Two swimming pools, a hot tub, and a sauna (open year-round)
• Mini golf, bike rentals, workout room, and more

Learn more or Book now.

Caballo Lake State Park – Caballo, New Mexico

Park Features:

• Seven full hookup sites
• 98 water and electric (30 amp) sites
• 10 water and electric (50 amp) sites
• Three boat docks and two boat ramps
• Playgrounds and visitor centers with interactive exhibits for the kids
• Fishing, swimming, hiking, horseback riding, and more

Learn more or Book now.

The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Northwest

Coloma Resort – Coloma, California

Park Features:

• 43 full hookup sites
• 45’ maximum RV length
• Sewer hookups are available at off-river sites only
• Calendar of naturalist-led activities available (summer months only)
• Exclusive riverfront access with nearby kayaking, tubing, and rafting
• Swimming pool and children’s playgrounds
• Wireless internet throughout the campground

Pro Tip: You must cross the Mt. Murphy Bridge to reach this campground. Here are the height and weight restrictions for that bridge:

• Max Height: 13' 6
• Max Weight for 2 Axle vehicles: 12 Tons (24,000 pounds)
• Max Weight for 3 Axle vehicles: 19 Tons (38,000 pounds)

Learn more or Book now.

Arrowhead RV Park – Cascade, Idaho

Park Features:

• 116 full hookup sites
• Easy access to the Payette River for fishing or paddling
• Shuffleboard and horseshoe pit for family entertainment
• Communal firepit on the edge of the river
• Recreation room with books, board games, and movies

Learn more or Book now.

St. Mary / East Glacier – St. Mary, Montana

Why They Recommended: “Beautiful views right from the park!”
Park Features:

• 75’ maximum RV length
• 30 and 50-amp sites
• Large hot tub, pool, and sauna (seasonally)
• Kayak rentals and easy access to the Lower St. Mary Lake & River
• Dog kennels and dog walking service (for when you want to explore nearby Glacier National Park)

Learn more or Book now.

Cape Blanco State Park – Port Orford, Oregon

Park Features:

• 52 electric hookup sites with water
• Easy access to wildlife viewing, fishing, and horse trails
• Beach access and hiking trails
• Flush toilets and hot showers
• Lighthouse and Hughes House for historical tours

Learn more or Book now.

Seven Feathers RV Resort – Canyonville, Oregon

Park Features:

• 182 full hookup sites
• 60’ maximum pull-thru size
• 55’ maximum back-in size
• Hotel and casino across the street
• Indoor heated pool and hot tub
• Fitness and media centers

Learn more or Book now.
Want to add your advice to our poll? Click below to join the conversation!
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Which destinations would you recommend for first-time RVers? Share your tips in the comments below.

Hello! I have a multiple photo request. I have a newborn baby and I'd love to get some photos of him together with our reptiles. Since it would be ill advised to physically lay a large lizard on top of a baby, I was hoping to find some Photoshop magic to assist. I can provide as many photos as needed to get the right combination. I would be looking for 6 to 8 photos total, and would be happy to compensate whatever a fair rate is for that.
Please comment below if you're interested and I will reach out!
*For full transparency, most of these reptiles are snakes. I understand that may make some people uncomfortable. Please feel free to skip this request if photos of snakes are not your thing.

Hi all! Advice is welcome. My husband and I don’t disagree on much, but this has been a topic we’ve butted heads about for a while. Here to see if I’m being TAH or not.
My husband “Mark” (23M) and I have been together for around 4 years. We both work full-time, and earn about the same amount of money (I bring in ~55% of the household income, he brings in the other 45%). We have combined finances. Currently, we own two cars - my 2013 Honda CR-V, and his 2006 Jeep Liberty.
Unfortunately, Mark’s Jeep has been having issues for a while now, and we’re looking into replacing it. Our goal is to have it replaced within the next year, before we plan on expanding our family/having our first child. The issue is, Mark’s Jeep has a manual transmission, which he loves. He wants our new car to also be a manual, whereas I want it to be an automatic.
The primary reason for this is that I do not know how to drive manual. I’m open to learning, however, I still don’t see the use in owning a manual car over an automatic. We’re looking at purchasing a new Honda or Toyota - the base models of which come with automatic transmissions. It would cost us several thousand more dollars to get one with a manual transmission, which I don’t believe would be a good use of our money, considering that our incomes aren’t that high. Mark also has a decent amount of student loan debt, and I think that those thousands would be better used by paying down some of his debt.
I also dislike the inconvenience of driving a manual car. It might just be because his car is older, but Mark’s driving in his car is noticeably jerkieless smooth than in mine. I’ve spilled drinks several times in his car because of the jerking while he changes gears, it’s honestly just not the most pleasant ride. Mark also often complains about driving his car through stop and go traffic, saying that it’s annoying and stressful to be constantly changing gears. He’s willing to put up with this because he thinks driving manual is cool, but I don’t think that I would be - especially with a baby in the backseat. It doesn’t seem practical to me.
Mark says that I wouldn’t need to drive his car, but I’m the one who drives both of us to work every morning (his office is about 10 minutes from mine, but he doesn’t get free parking - so I drop him off and pick him up every day). If something happens to my car, I will have to drive his every day.
I’m anti-manual for these reasons, but Mark says that he only wants a manual. He says that if we purchase an automatic, his family (who pride themselves on only driving manual cars) will think less of him. I think that this isn’t a good reason. So, AITAH? Or is Mark?

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I (24F) suspect my close friends Jane (22F) and Mike (25M) are in a relationship with each other, but I'm not sure of it. I had my suspicions, but I always just chucked it up to them being comfortable with each other, but recent events have brought things into perspective.
For context, Mike and I became friends at the start of the first semester in our 3rd year of college. We are in the same major (same as Jane), and we bonded over some 2nd year courses we both had to retake due to some issues. Mike and I have become good friends since then. Our rented apartments are a short walking distance apart, so sometimes I go over to his during exams so we study together and share notes and texts, and other times I just go there to hang out and chill with his flatmates, and vice versa. I stay alone, though. At the time, neither of us were close to Jane; I wouldn't call us friends (with her), but there was also no enemity or anything; we just casually exchanged greetings whenever we bumped into each other or when we met in class.
Jane and I had always attended the same church in college, but like i said earlier, we weren't friends, so we always exchanged hello's and hi's, and that was it. I just knew her as one of the smart/intelligent ones in class. We were both appointed as leaders in different departments in our 4th year, despite the fact that we both didn't want the positions. We bonded over our mutual feelings of how wrong it was that the positions were forced on us even after we voiced out that we didn't want them. Naturally, hello's and hi's progressed to longer conversations, and we realised we had some similar interests and views on certain topics like relationships and marriage, and we also live in the same state and are not that far apart either.
She usually talks about how she can't picture herself in love or in a relationship with someone and usually cringes at display of love, when the topic of relationship comes up or when she sees people gushing about their boyfriends. I found it contradictory since she reads a lot of romance novels, but then there are folks like that. On some levels, I related to her feelings, but I'm not as averse to them as she was. In her words, she said, "It's hard for me to like somebody in a romantic way; I've only ever liked one person, and it didn't last that long." She is not the type to go out of her way to cook or join in meal prep because she doesn't like cooking and finds it stressful, which was something else we bonded over.
Jane and Mike connected through me since I'm almost always with Mike in and out of school. He is naturally a free and friendly person so it didn't take long for them to get close, and so it began: our trio's friendship. We would walk back home together, talking about random things or something related to school. Jane's flat is also not so far from ours, so chilling at each other's place wasn't rare. I still remember the first time Jane wanted to go over to Mike's place. She asked me to come along with her since she was new to the group (by group, I mean including Mike's flatmates) and felt awkward. All we did was just watch movies. That concludes the backstory
Fast forward to finals; we got really busy with projects, seminars, and exams. Naturally, there would be no time for hangouts anymore; at least that's what I thought, but Mike and Jane still had solid communication almost every day and met up quite often. which is why i didn't think much of it when i started meeting up with them again and I noticed the dynamics had changed since i was M.I.A. for while, I was under a lot of pressure that period so i was really focused on school. Now they are done and just waiting for graduation, but I still have some exams to take. Recently, she has been hanging at his place a lot more than before with her younger brother, who recently got into the school.
My reason for making this post is that last Saturday was Mike's birthday, and he asked me to come over for a little get-together of friends. It was really fun. After eating, we cut the cake, and he thanked us for coming. Then everyone was just dancing and having a good time. Eventually, the fun began to fizzle out as it was getting late and people had started leaving. When I was ready to leave, Jane said, "Let's see you off." Then she and Mike followed me out of the apartment, and as we walked, there was this awkward silence that lasted for a minute, which is unusual. I felt out of place, like I wasn't supposed to be there, so I decided to bring up the games they played during the party so we could talk about something instead of the awkward silence that hung in the air, and that was all we talked about till we got to my place and they both went back. There are other things I've picked up on, but this one is the most glaring to me because it has never happened before.
I've been thinking of asking Mike about it, but I don't know if it'll come off as me prying, but I feel like I need to know so I can be self-aware about giving them space or privacy whenever they are together. Some other signs are when she'll want him to support her when we have a disagreement on a topic or when she comes to his defence whenever I'm teasing him about something. She always does it in a she-and-him-against-me kind of way, which I find very odd considering that we are supposed to be friends?. Another sign was the fact she helped with the cooking prep for the birthday and doing the dishes, both things she always firmly says she wouldn't do unless she had to, like when her mom says she should or at her own apartment. Any advice will be really helpful.

TLDR: Baby (13 weeks) won’t nap out of arms. We’ve been practicing for 8 weeks. Practicing is making me miserable. Planning to sleep train in July. Should I cut my losses and just contact nap at this point, or is there something I’m missing?
Baby is almost 13 weeks old. Since the end of March, I’ve been working on the elusive contact-free nap. Based on my Snoo record, I’ve tried in the Snoo least once a day (sometimes twice) 29 times in the last 54 days. We’ve had four successes in total, all under an hour. Twice I put him down awake and he fell asleep on his own, and twice I got him to sleep then set him down and he stayed asleep for another 20-30 minutes or so. A few times I’ve tried putting him asleep on my bed, the baby swing, the doc a tot knock off, or some other more comfortable less safe location … but no bites. We’ve also tried naps in the car and in the stroller (both bassinet and car seat attachments), and he’s only had one nap in one of those arrangements—it was in the bassinet part of the stroller, but I had to keep the stroller rolling.
During the day, he primarily naps in the baby carrier. If you get him in before his internal timer is up, he doesn’t even fight it. (If you get him strapped in a little late in the wake window, he’ll let out his swan song for 15 minutes before passing out.) At night he sleeps great in his Snoo, typically nursing to sleep before bed and during his 1-2 MOTN wakes, but he doesn’t always nurse to sleep! Sometimes I’ll put him down awake and asleep he goes. Even when he nurses to sleep, he’ll sometimes wake up during the transfer. The point of this paragraph is to spell out “sleep crutches” that he does have and the extent to which he depends on them, and to suggest that he doesn’t have reflux since he sleeps flat on his back all night long.
When we try for Snoo naps, he typically cries so intensely that the Snoo almost immediately (3 minutes in) turns off. I’ve tried just sitting there in the room, resetting it several times in a row—you have to do it manually because you’re not supposed to let your baby cry that loud for that long I guess. I’ve tried SITBACK. I’ve tried getting him sleepy before setting him down, but almost nothing pisses him off more than me trying to “Taking Cara Babies” CRIES him into a drowsy state. Once we’ve given it 10-15 minutes of wailing in the bassinet (I’m talking 100% volume, sets-off-your-smart-watch decibel levels), the road forks: I hold him to sleep then keep trying to put him down; I hold him to sleep and just sit or stand in his room for the rest of the nap; I strap him into the carrier for the rest of the nap. But whatever we do at that point, it involves a lot of intense crying and a far less restful nap than he’d have if I just put him in the carrier to begin with, and 2/3 of those options tie me down for another hour or more while I try to keep him asleep.
His room is dark with blackout curtains and is 71-72 degrees (bought a thermostat for his room in particular in case temperature was the issue.) We use a sound machine, and we have a pre-nap routine that mimics the bedtime routine. And of course I’m watching the wake windows; he seems to be a little higher sleep needs than average. He still doesn’t love being awake for more than 75 minutes at a time, especially for that first wake window which typically precedes our practice nap, so usually I start the nap time routine at the one hour mark.
I am struggling to provide more consistent practice than this because I also have a 2 year old son, and when I’m taking care of him, my ability to sink time and attention into the baby’s nap is very limited. When my toddler has other care, I need to be getting work done, so it’s a big loss to spend so much time on the nap. Best case scenario, trying for the bassinet nap takes 40 minutes more of my time than just putting him in the carrier and carrying on with life, but often it’s much more because I get stuck in his room trying to salvage some sleep for him. And of course, various life things come up, too: grandma visits and offers to hold him, we take a trip, we try to hit up library story time, baby gets his shots, etc. While I understand that this is not a great deal of consistency, it’s hard for me to imagine that there are parents of multiple children out there who have much more consistency to offer. Who that is also taking care of other kids has an hour and a half out of every 3 to render themselves otherwise unavailable, multiple times a day, every day of the week? Maybe I’m dead wrong on this point, but I have to imagine I’m offering as much consistency as other parents of multiple kids have offered their younger babies, babies who somehow began to get some traction after months of effort.
I’m feeling frustrated and hopeless. I am going on 8 weeks of making what feels like a lot of sacrifice to encourage independent napping, and I am not really seeing any progress. In fact, I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it any more. I’ve already accepted that I’ll need to sleep train; we’re ripping off that bandaid on 7/22 and have multiple out-of-town trips planned before then. And the practice naps come at a big cost to me in terms of both time and peace of mind. Right now, I don’t have full time childcare for my baby, so I am already working in the margins. I keep telling myself that it will save me time once it clicks for him, but like we are months into this and have seen literally no return on the investment. With all the stress it has caused me, we are actually pretty deep in the red.
So: should I cut my losses and just lean in to the carrier nap until the end of July? Or is there something I can do to get bassinet napping online? Why does practicing help other babies but not mine//why have we seen no progress at all when practice is touted as the ticket?!

Welcome to the The Land Before Time - a low rates PVE cluster! Join us for some slow-paced close to official experience with slightly boosted breeding.
We are a small cluster and wait for more players to join! Maps that we can offer:

• The Island
• Scorched Earth
• Svartalfheim Premium (Oldest map in a cluster, but not very populated)
• Forglar (free version) (New!)
• The Center (coming in June)

The Island, Scorched Earth and Forglar maps are crossplay but Svartalfheim Premium does not have available crossplay yet. Once crossplay become available for it (probably in May) we immediately update the server for it.
Our rates:

• XP Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Taming Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Harvest Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Incubation Speed - 2x
• Maturation Speed - 2x

Server settings:

• Wild creatures max lvl: 150
• PVE
• No Flyers on Svartalfheim
• No generators limit
• Cryofridges on platforms
• Structure placement collision is disabled
• Structures can always be picked up
• All structures can be locked
• Anyone in tribe can imprint
• Unlimited Mindwipe
• Offline damage prevention

Mods:

• Svartalfheim Armory
• Dwarven Builders Mod
• Gigantoraptor
• Aussie Additions Diamantinasaurus (spawn on Scorched Earth and Forglar maps)
• S-Dino Variants (spawn on Svartalfheim and Forglar maps)
• Additions Ascended (all creatures except Anomalocaris)
• Any Colour Sets
• Super Spyglass Plus (only show stats on tamed creatures)
• Dear Jane Explorer Notes
• Arkitect Structures Remastered
• Klinger Additional Rustic Building
• Speedy Rhynio (revert movement speed nerf while carrying creatures with Rhyniognatha)
• Custom Dino Levels (equalized levels on Forglar maps)

Creatures and items that are specific to certain maps can always be transferred to other maps if those map have no item/dino transfers restrictions!
Servers are self-hosted on a dedicated server pc. Servers location - EU/Sweden.
Join server: search for [LBT] The Land Before Time (Island), [LBT] The Land Before Time (ScorchedEarth), [LBT] The Land Before Time (Svartalfheim) or [LBT] The Land Before Time (Forglar) in servers list. If server not showing up make sure you check Show Player Servers box.
Discord: https://discord.gg/2ZDyhNqK7k

Welcome to the The Land Before Time - a low rates PVE cluster! Join us for some slow-paced close to official experience with slightly boosted breeding.
We are a small cluster and wait for more players to join! Maps that we can offer:

• The Island
• Scorched Earth
• Svartalfheim Premium (Oldest map in a cluster, but not very populated)
• Forglar (free version) (New!)
• The Center (coming in June)

The Island, Scorched Earth and Forglar maps are crossplay but Svartalfheim Premium does not have available crossplay yet. Once crossplay become available for it (probably in May) we immediately update the server for it.
Our rates:

• XP Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Taming Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Harvest Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Incubation Speed - 2x
• Maturation Speed - 2x

Server settings:

• Wild creatures max lvl: 150
• PVE
• No Flyers on Svartalfheim
• No generators limit
• Cryofridges on platforms
• Structure placement collision is disabled
• Structures can always be picked up
• All structures can be locked
• Anyone in tribe can imprint
• Unlimited Mindwipe
• Offline damage prevention

Mods:

• Svartalfheim Armory
• Dwarven Builders Mod
• Gigantoraptor
• Aussie Additions Diamantinasaurus (spawn on Scorched Earth and Forglar maps)
• S-Dino Variants (spawn on Svartalfheim and Forglar maps)
• Additions Ascended (all creatures except Anomalocaris)
• Any Colour Sets
• Super Spyglass Plus (only show stats on tamed creatures)
• Dear Jane Explorer Notes
• Arkitect Structures Remastered
• Klinger Additional Rustic Building
• Speedy Rhynio (revert movement speed nerf while carrying creatures with Rhyniognatha)
• Custom Dino Levels (equalized levels on Forglar maps)

Creatures and items that are specific to certain maps can always be transferred to other maps if those map have no item/dino transfers restrictions!
Servers are self-hosted on a dedicated server pc. Servers location - EU/Sweden.
Join server: search for [LBT] The Land Before Time (Island), [LBT] The Land Before Time (ScorchedEarth), [LBT] The Land Before Time (Svartalfheim) or [LBT] The Land Before Time (Forglar) in servers list. If server not showing up make sure you check Show Player Servers box.
Discord: https://discord.gg/2ZDyhNqK7k

hey everyone! way back when i first started my bass transcription channel on YT (@justsomebasslines) and was struggling to find an audience, bass gave me a nice bump, so i thought i'd make a post about a series i started a while back called Jamerson Tuesdays. at over 80 songs and counting, i have to imagine this is now the most extensive collection of JJ transcriptions on the internet (though i'd be happy to be proven wrong...!)
i see a lot of discussion about Jamerson here and anywhere bass is discussed, but i always see people mentioning the same handful of lines, so (for my benefit, mostly) i wanted to get to know some of the deep cuts and hidden gems among the thousands of songs he recorded. so, if you like Jamerson and have done the famous songs, i hope this playlist will introduce you to some really great lines you might not have known about :) there are also quite a few beginner-friendly lines in there, for anyone wanting to start learning the elements of the JJ style early!
the full playlist is here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWVbcKsYeBpcMjQrXG4815AsGzkXlFuv&si=tIHoMFL1Fpms2EFb
as always, i can't claim either the transcriptions or the playing are mistake-free (especially the playing, but i do my best - and no, i don't play everything with one finger... sorry purists!), but i think the transcriptions are quite solid on the whole.
i hope that if any of this is helpful and/or you're interested in getting to know more obscure Jamerson lines, you'll consider subscribing to the channel :)
here's the full list of what's available so far:
Bill Withers - Family Table
Bonnie Pointer - Heaven Must Have Sent You
Buddy Miles - All The Faces
Chris Clark - Good Morning Sunshine
Chuck Jackson - Honey Come Back
Chuck Jackson - The Day My World Stood Still
David Ruffin - Put A Little Love In Your Heart
Deborah Washington - Ready or Not
Diana Ross - Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Diana Ross - Something On My Mind
Diana Ross & Marvin Gaye - My Mistake (Was To Love You)
Diana Ross & Marvin Gaye - Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart)
Diana Ross & The Supremes - Can't Shake It Loose
Diana Ross & The Supremes - How Long Has That Evening Train Been Gone
Diana Ross & The Supremes - I'm So Glad I Got Somebody (Like You Around)
Donald Byrd - Dance Band
Eddie Kendricks - Skippin' Work Today
Eddie Kendricks - You Are The Melody Of My Life
Edwin Starr - Easin' In
Eloise Laws - Ain't It Good Feeling Good
Four Tops - I'm Grateful
Four Tops - Reflections
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I Wish It Would Rain
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I'll Be Here (When You Get Home)
Gladys Knight & The Pips - Neither One Of Us
Gladys Knight & The Pips - The End Of Our Road
Gordon Staples & The String Thing - Get Down
Hearts of Stone - It's A Lonesome Road
Hearts of Stone - What Does It Take To Win Your Love
Hugo Montenegro - Your Song
Jack Ashford - I'm Back Home
Jerry Butler - Never Give You Up
Jerry Butler - Too Many Danger Signs
Jimmy Ruffin - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
Jimmy Ruffin - Take A Letter Maria
Joan Baez - Oh Happy Day (Live)
John Lee Hooker - Boom Boom
John Lee Hooker - What Do You Say
Jr. Walker & The All Stars - (I'm A) Road Runner
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - I Should Be Proud
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Love Bug Leave My Heart Alone
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Nowhere To Run
Marvin Gaye - God Is Love
Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On (Live '74)
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On (Live '74)
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - Little Ole Boy, Little Ole Girl
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - You Ain't Livin' Till You're Lovin'
Mary Wells - Two Lovers
Melvin "Wah Wah" Watson - My Love For You Comes And Goes
Robert Palmer - Give Me An Inch
Stevie Wonder - Everybody Needs Somebody
Stevie Wonder - Hello Young Lovers
Stevie Wonder - Respect
Stevie Wonder - Silver Bells
Stevie Wonder - Thank You Love
The Artistics - Price of Love
The Caravans - Eternal Life
The Dramatics - Spaced Out Over You
The Isley Brothers - I Guess I'll Always Love You
The Jackson 5 - Come Round Here I'm The One You Need
The Marvelettes - I Can't Turn Around
The Marvelettes - Our Lips Just Seem To Rhyme Everytime
The Marvelettes - Strange I Know
The Marvelettes - That's How Heartaches Are Made
The Originals - Be My Love
The Originals - God Bless Whoever Sent You
The Originals - The World Can't Stop Me Now
The San Remo Golden Strings - My Girl
The Spinners - I've Got To Find Myself A Brand New Baby
The Spinners - My Whole World Ended
The Supremes - Come See About Me
The Supremes & The Temptations - A Place In The Sun
The Temptations - All I Need
The Temptations - Born To Love You
The Temptations - I Can't Get Next To You
The Temptations - You're My Everything
The Undisputed Truth - Save My Love For A Rainy Day
The Undisputed Truth - What's Going On
Valerie Simpson - Can't It Wait Until Tomorrow

Hello, hello!
My name is Dee and I am running my first full fledged campaign for the first time very soon. I have been enjoying DND as a player since summer of 2020 and have ran more-than-I-can-count-one-shots since about 2022. And since then I realized how much creative flow I have as a DM. So since then, I’ve been writing this campaign in question. And my beautiful baby is finally ready to be experienced.
If you’re interested, please feel free to hit me up on Discord (not here, I don’t have notifs on).
I don’t care your experience level - new or playing since 1E, I want you here!! <3
Disc: @ily_dee

Critics tend to start releasing their mid-year best of lists around the end of May, so I wanted to beat them to the punch. What are your favourite tv shows so far this year?
Only rules are that it has to have aired at least one episode in 2024 (I wasn't sure whether to include Fargo and The Curse because of this, but last time around I put them in a special "this doesn't have enough episodes yet but I liked them!" And now they're fully finished and stayed great the whole time so. Might as well give them their moment.)
Feel free to make a ranked list, unranked list, or just a single show you really enjoyed. Here's mine, in no particular order:
Hacks
Abbott Elementary
X-Men 97
The Sympathizer
Ripley
Shogun
Doctor Who
Baby Reindeer
Fallout
Expats
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Fargo
The Curse

Hello, hello!
My name is Dee and I am running my first full fledged campaign for the first time very soon. I have been enjoying DND as a player since summer of 2020 and have ran more-than-I-can-count-one-shots since about 2022. And since then I realized how much creative flow I have as a DM. So since then, I’ve been writing this campaign in question. And my beautiful baby is finally ready to be experienced.
If you’re interested, please feel free to hit me up on Discord (not here, I don’t have notifs on).
I don’t care your experience level - new or playing since 1E, I want you here!! <3
Disc: @ily_dee

Welcome to the The Land Before Time - a low rates PVE cluster! Join us for some slow-paced close to official experience with slightly boosted breeding.
We are a small cluster and wait for more players to join! Maps that we can offer:

• The Island
• Scorched Earth
• Svartalfheim Premium (Oldest map in a cluster, but not very populated)
• Forglar (free version) (New!)
• The Center (coming in June)

The Island, Scorched Earth and Forglar maps are crossplay but Svartalfheim Premium does not have available crossplay yet. Once crossplay become available for it (probably in May) we immediately update the server for it.
Our rates:

• XP Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Taming Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Harvest Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Incubation Speed - 2x
• Maturation Speed - 2x

Server settings:

• Wild creatures max lvl: 150
• PVE
• No Flyers on Svartalfheim
• No generators limit
• Cryofridges on platforms
• Structure placement collision is disabled
• Structures can always be picked up
• All structures can be locked
• Anyone in tribe can imprint
• Unlimited Mindwipe
• Offline damage prevention

Mods:

• Svartalfheim Armory
• Dwarven Builders Mod
• Gigantoraptor
• Aussie Additions Diamantinasaurus (spawn on Scorched Earth and Forglar maps)
• S-Dino Variants (spawn on Svartalfheim and Forglar maps)
• Additions Ascended (all creatures except Anomalocaris)
• Any Colour Sets
• Super Spyglass Plus (only show stats on tamed creatures)
• Dear Jane Explorer Notes
• Arkitect Structures Remastered
• Klinger Additional Rustic Building
• Speedy Rhynio (revert movement speed nerf while carrying creatures with Rhyniognatha)
• Custom Dino Levels (equalized levels on Forglar maps)

Creatures and items that are specific to certain maps can always be transferred to other maps if those map have no item/dino transfers restrictions!
Servers are self-hosted on a dedicated server pc. Servers location - EU/Sweden.
Join server: search for [LBT] The Land Before Time (Island), [LBT] The Land Before Time (ScorchedEarth), [LBT] The Land Before Time (Svartalfheim) or [LBT] The Land Before Time (Forglar) in servers list. If server not showing up make sure you check Show Player Servers box.
Discord: https://discord.gg/2ZDyhNqK7k

Welcome to the The Land Before Time - a low rates PVE cluster! Join us for some slow-paced close to official experience with slightly boosted breeding.
We are a small cluster and wait for more players to join! Maps that we can offer:

• The Island
• Scorched Earth
• Svartalfheim Premium (Oldest map in a cluster, but not very populated)
• Forglar (free version) (New!)
• The Center (coming in June)

The Island, Scorched Earth and Forglar maps are crossplay but Svartalfheim Premium does not have available crossplay yet. Once crossplay become available for it (probably in May) we immediately update the server for it.
Our rates:

• XP Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Taming Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Harvest Multiplier - 1x (x2 during weekends and events)
• Incubation Speed - 2x
• Maturation Speed - 2x

Server settings:

• Wild creatures max lvl: 150
• PVE
• No Flyers on Svartalfheim
• No generators limit
• Cryofridges on platforms
• Structure placement collision is disabled
• Structures can always be picked up
• All structures can be locked
• Anyone in tribe can imprint
• Unlimited Mindwipe
• Offline damage prevention

Mods:

• Svartalfheim Armory
• Dwarven Builders Mod
• Gigantoraptor
• Aussie Additions Diamantinasaurus (spawn on Scorched Earth and Forglar maps)
• S-Dino Variants (spawn on Svartalfheim and Forglar maps)
• Additions Ascended (all creatures except Anomalocaris)
• Any Colour Sets
• Super Spyglass Plus (only show stats on tamed creatures)
• Dear Jane Explorer Notes
• Arkitect Structures Remastered
• Klinger Additional Rustic Building
• Speedy Rhynio (revert movement speed nerf while carrying creatures with Rhyniognatha)
• Custom Dino Levels (equalized levels on Forglar maps)

Creatures and items that are specific to certain maps can always be transferred to other maps if those map have no item/dino transfers restrictions!
Servers are self-hosted on a dedicated server pc. Servers location - EU/Sweden.
Join server: search for [LBT] The Land Before Time (Island), [LBT] The Land Before Time (ScorchedEarth), [LBT] The Land Before Time (Svartalfheim) or [LBT] The Land Before Time (Forglar) in servers list. If server not showing up make sure you check Show Player Servers box.
Discord: https://discord.gg/2ZDyhNqK7k

it's been radio silence for a while. i'm pretty sure they want more than one baby. maybe that's why she's so away from the internet? she did have a tough first pregnancy.
it totally makes more sense for her to be gone for so long if she's doing more than one maternity leave at a time. unless she's solely a full-time stay-at-home-mom now & that's what she's decided to do.
i really miss her though, hope she's doing well. really wish she would let people know if she knows for sure she's not coming back, like i've heard people said taz said.
mods, feel free to delete if speculation is not allowed

Hey guys. My apologies, this is a long read lol.
So my boyfriend is 26 years old and life has dealt him a fairly hard one. Long story short, he did his primary and form one at a private school until his dad got retrenched and had to move to a government school for the rest of his high school. Fast forward to Uni, he managed to get in to a top African institution to study engineering. His parents couldn't afford it though so he had to get a relative to sponsor his schooling. He was doing well and was on course to finishing record time...then covid hit. Funding relative apparently got retrenched and so he lost funding. He found work in restaurants and all for his rent and upkeep but his school fees was unpaid for the entire year. The institution has a fairly strict fee policy so not only did he not graduate, he doesn't have access to his transcript and the debt incurs an interest monthly. It is currently approaching USD$25K.
With no transcript there is no way he can apply for a decent job. Four years of engineering school wasted. Without a job, there is no way he can pay off the debt. SO he is basically feels like he is stuck.
When I met him he was working for a small financial institution together with a relative. Unfortunately the institution is currently down and under, business is not doing good. He hasn't been paid for about three months now, they have even stopped going in to work because there is just nothing. Now all they do is eat and sleep at home.
Initially when business started going bad he was optimistic. He'd be scrounging and coming up with all sorts of ideas on how to get back on his feet. But then one by one his ideas flopped. Many of them needed capital which he doesn't have.
When it comes to his character, he is a hardworking fellow who grew up without much and so has a taste for the finer things of life (hence why he chose me, hehe *wink). My boyfriend loves the good life shame hey, he doesn't settle for less. That's a good thing and a bad thing. Good because he will always want more for himself and bad because he can be stubborn and a little prideful. He doesn't like asking for help either. He just wants to figure it out all by himself. I know a relative of his that is doing well for himself... like filthy rich. I once jokingly suggested he ask for a job or at least a reference but he said my pride is too much I could never.
Today he texted me saying he is feeling suicidal because he sees himself as a failure and my heart just broke. I want to be there for him and offer him a shoulder and help him brainstorm but because of his ego he won't allow me. He is an alpha male who believes the man should do all the worrying and the woman should just sit pretty. I believe even men have feelings and I should be supportive enough for him to pour himself out to me. I want to be there for him.
I have suggested doing a short course on data analytics online and I also suggested free therapy. He has agreed to do both. If you have any information on these that could help please let me know.
I'm determined to help him get back on his feet. I don't want my baby to be just another statistic.

I'm gonna start this off by saying this is a vent post. It's really long and goes over all the big instances I can recall of animal cruelty happening in my childhood all the way to present, so it will be a lot of paragraphs. The timelines are estimates, but due to trauma I have poor memory involving dates when things happened, and this probably still isn't every incident, again just the big ones I can recall. Read at your own discretion.
I (19F) live with my grandparents (70M and 67F) and my parents (42 M 43 F). Due to some injuries from last year and some medical history, I am disabled and currently jobless, and in the process of trying to obtain disability, which is relevant for later.
Since I was as little as I can remember, my family has always had cats. I even grew up with some cats that ended up feeling like siblings for me not having anyone around them age to interact with until my sister was born when I was 8.
My parents have always loved cats, but I don't think truly ever valued cats. They've always been left outdoors, and eventually the elements always get them. I have never had a family pet that grew past the age 12. All of our cats have either been attacked by dogs that are also loose in my neighborhood, been suspected to have been tortured and unalived by neighbors, got sick, or got ran over, because my family doesn't care and will just 'replace" pets less than a year later.
When I was around 5, I had my very first pet kitten. This kitten was a runt, so it stayed small for a long time. It also was very hard to potty train, and because of this, they released it outside when it was maybe barely 7-8 weeks. He did good for about a month, but after that, he vanished. But there was evidence when he disappeared that there were large dog paw prints in our driveway because it was rainy that previous night, and his food bowl was dragged out in the yard, which he couldn't have done.
Also around 5, my aunt (at this time 13F) was living with us, as her mom (my mom's mom) wasn't taking good care of her and was in and out of jail. She had pet guinea pigs for a bit. My parents decided to feed the guinea pigs potatoes without doing any kind of research. One of them died. The other one was sick and anxious all the time, so my aunt decided to release it in our backyard? It was also winter. (I want to say that I do not blame her directly because she was still a child and in a similar situation to me, and my parents didn't care about the well-being of these poor guinea pigs anyways.)
And yet another story of around age 5, my dad bought the family a pet red-eared turtle. The tank was too small for her. My dad also thought it would be "funny" and "cool" to put fish in there with this turtle whenever we were about to go on vacation. She ate all the fish in the tank: Neons, goldfish, the tank cleaners, and whatever other fish species he put in that confined tank that wasn't more than 20 gallons. (Red-eared turtles alone need around 40 at minimum.)
But that's not all. While on vacation, both I and my 13 year-old aunt got baby yellow-belly sliders. We took them home, and we put them in the tank with our adult turtle. She ate the heads off of both of them. There was one goldfish left there as well, and I got traumatized seeing both the dead turtles, and seeing her eat that last gold fish in two chomps one time.
When I was around 6, my family randomly decided, "Let's own goats!" because they have a big backyard with an old shed. Well, they ended up buying a small amount of chicken wire fence and giving them outside of the barn about a few feet to move around when our backyard is fairly large and most of it wasn't being used. And we live in a residential area, so every night we had the goats, they would scream. My parents hated their screaming and started neglecting them more by giving them less attention, which only made them scream 24/7. Finally, my parents decided to give the goats to some distant family that has farmland. (We are in the south.)
When I was around 8-9, I got another cat. She was a pretty cat, but very mean and feisty. She didn't really like anyone, but I loved her regardless. This cat was too annoying for my parents to deal with because she had behavioral issues, and instead of taking her to the vet, they decided to make her start staying outside. She loved it, but a bit too much.
(Big TW: death and some descriptions of gore) One day, I had to help my mom deal with her corpse on the road. I was obviously really sad and fell into a deal depression. I also panicked and nearly threw up when I saw, because her eyeball was hanging out. It was so disturbing for a child to see. We buried her together, but I was made fun of one day by my parents for randomly crying about her death.
When I was around 10, I owned my third cat. She also had a brother from the same litter, and my mom had recently lost a cat that she did keep inside from kidney disease. I haven't had my own cat in a while, and they decided to adopt this sibling pair from the neighbors. I got the female, my mom got the male, because she is the type to insist that boy cats are better.
Anyways, I LOVED this cat. I did so much for her, and she loved me and followed me everywhere. We'd cuddle to sleep together. She was my best friend.
But my parents never got her fixed. They also never got the brother fixed. They ended up doing the tango (gross I know, but nature) and my cat had kittens a little bit less than a year old. Since she was too young for kittens, she at first didn't know what she was doing and even misplaced her first outside and ran to me while in labor with the second. I found that kitten and helped her with all 5 of her kittens, all girls also, and the kittens ended up getting close to me as well.
Of course, once they were around 6-7 weeks, my parents were wanting to start finding home for them. But they also had another idea in mind. They wanted me to get rid of my adult cat, and the brother cat as well, and we'd take one kitten. At first I was like no, but they manipulated me and convinced me a kitten would be better. I told them which kitten I wanted, and it looked a lot like my cat. But no, since they thought one of the cats might be distantly Siamese and thought it looked the coolest from it's tabby and Siamese-like pattern, they chose that one, and then dropped my beloved cat and her brother off at a cemetery, didn't even let me say bye. They just threw them away like pieces of garbage. And then I ended up resenting that kitten anyways for not being MY cat, so the family ended up crashing her as well, and she disappeared a few years later.
Around age 11-12, I somehow managed to have pet hermit crabs, another pet yellow-belly slider turtle, and two pet rabbits. My parents were basically throwing pets at me because I guess they felt guilty or something about what they did to me. I didn't end up taking care of any of them, and they all died of starvation and/or dehydration, and I still feel terrible about it. I was so depressed that I couldn't take care of myself either. And I was given animals on top of it, and I was forced to be a high schooler in school. The pets suffered at the cost of what? Why did I even have them?
Around age 13, my parents were driving me home from school, and we saw some Canada geese with their babies by a pond. I'm sure you know where this is going, considering everything else. My mom convinced me to jump out of the car with her, and she distracted the adult geese while I caught a baby one. I knew that in itself was bad, but I didn't know Canada geese were such a protected species.
The little guy imprinted on me. I loved him, he would follow me around the yard. But once again my parents got out that chicken fence, only this time it was on the side of the house, and no shed for him to take cover in (still like a few feet of movement max.) He was growing fast, and he was plucking his feathers. A neighbor noticed and told us to get rid of him or we'd call authorities. They lied and said we "found him and rescued him." I was told to lie about this narrative for years. They ended up dropping him back off at the pond we got him from about two months after we first got him. He couldn't fly, his family wasn't there. He was defenseless. I still feel terrible to this day, I know I was manipulated, but I was 13. And again, I defend my aunt and she was also 13, so I really don't know.
When I was 15, that first turtle I mentioned was still there at our house for all those years. She had quite literally been there for a decade. My parents got tired of having to clean her tank, and she was obviously too big for it as well. But was their response to upgrade tanks and the old filtering system that's been there all that time? Nope. While I was at school, he just...released her. And not in a pond or anything, you know, being an aquatic turtle. (Not like that would be better, but better than what he did.) He just put her outside, in our front driveway. She ran away surprisingly fast according to him. An aquatic pet turtle. Just released in a residential neighborhood. I'm totally sure nothing awful happened to her.( /sarcasm.)
When I was also 15, this was when the pandemic hit. I was super depressed and bored all the time. But then a female stray cat came to our house and had kittens behind a board against my grandparents house. I started fostering them and their mom immediately. I didn't know at the time that we had any no kill shelters nearby, and neither did my parents. When the kittens were old enough, we started rehoming them. There were 3 in total. 1 got a home. The other was still outside for some reason and disappeared. The other one became my pet, whom was at first the family pet. But then they decided that he was too annoying (because he was sweet and affectionate and not what they wanted out of cats which was mean, feisty, playful.)
He is the sweetest boy ever and is still alive to this day, but because I still live with my horrible family, he has to be outdoors, and he gets really scabby from the bugs outside during the summer. As soon as I can I will move out, take him to the vet, and take him out of this home. He shouldn't have to be here.
A few years ago, my sister (11F but maybe 9F at the time) got her own kitten. He ended up growing up to be sweet and affectionate like my cat, so neither her nor my parents want him and he's outdoors, so I'll probably try to take him too.
My sister now has her own new cat that's about a year old she got last year. So far she's not abandoning him since he's a mix of sweet and playful, but my parents have talked about making him indoor-outdoor, which really means "Indoor-outdoor for a few days but after a while we'll just leave him outside and let him stay there."
As a child, I was taught so many messed up things about animals. That dogs are disgusting, gross, and pets have no feelings, and I was taught that cats also have no feelings as a child, but that they are at least a more fun and less gross pet. In fact, in my parent's eyes, no animals have feelings or sentience or any of those things. They are just play things for our benefit. Because of this, as a child I also did not treat animals with the respect they deserve, and I acknowledge this. I have been unlearning so much of this behavior since I was about 13, the goose that I had was my wakeup call.
Please, I know it may seem crazy to some that I out of all people are speaking on this, but if you own animals, please keep them indoors. And with cats specifically, if they crave outside, harness train them. Buy/build a cheap patio in your window if possible. Just don't let them roam free. They will kill so much wildlife. Having to also deal with the grief of my pets killing and bringing dead rabbits, moles, birds opossums, etc. is also a lot. It heavily effects your surrounding ecosystem as well, because annually house cats are estimated to kill over a billion birds and over 6 billion mammals. That's disastrous, and could be avoided if there weren't so many bad pet owners.
Also, don't get animals that go in tanks/terrariums/cages in general if you don't have the money to get them the most spacious enclosure with ALL of their needs. Don't put fish in bowls, it effects their eyesight and shortens their lifespans SIGNIFICANTLY. In general, do not get a pet unless you have the financial means to do so AND if you've thoroughly researched that pet, get it ethically sourced, and if you make sure you have the mental capacity to care for an animal. ANIMALS ARE NOT TOYS. ANIMALS ARE NOT HERE FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT, FOR OUR JOY. THEY ARE LIVING BEINGS WITH THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, AND A LIFE. THEY DESERVE RESPECT AND DECENCY. NO, THEY DESERVE BEYOND DECENCY, THEY DESERVE TO BE WORSHIPPED AND NURTURED AND SPOILED BY US, NOT TORMENTED AND ABUSED! Thank you.
Also, if you somehow got this far, please read my previous story and give me advice on that one if you have the time, but if not that's perfectly okay. My living situation sucks, but hopefully things can change. I'm counting on a change to happen soon.