While the title might sound ridiculous, this idea has some interesting things pointing towards it as a possibility.
https://chipstero7.wordpress.com/
Quote: (1% of 100%):

CERN, or the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is an international organization based in Geneva, Switzerland. CERN’s primary mission is to explore the fundamental nature of the universe by investigating the basic building blocks of matter and the forces that govern their interactions. This research often involves studying subatomic particles like protons, neutrons, electrons, and various other particles that make up matter. One of the most prominent achievements of CERN is the construction and operation of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the world’s largest and most powerful particle accelerator. The LHC is a circular accelerator situated underground, spanning the border between Switzerland and France. It’s used to accelerate particles to extremely high energies and then collide them at incredibly high speeds. These collisions create conditions similar to those just moments after the Big Bang, allowing scientists to study the behaviour of matter in its most fundamental states. CERN was essentially created in order to recreate the conditions of the early universe after the Big Bang as a possible means of testing the Big Bang theory which has dominated physics since the middle of the last century. CERN’s experimental ‘test’ of the Big Bang theory has focused on the search for the elusive Higgs Boson (the “God Particle”) because the Big Bang theorists believe that the universe could not have been created without it. However, anyone who examines the Big Bang theory honestly and in sufficient depth can see that it does not hold water and contains holes in its logic so large that a galactic supercluster could be driven through them. It’s just like CAGW theory, but on a cosmic scale instead of merely a terrestrial one. No experimental ‘tests’ for this are needed and so it’s a wonder how this half-baked nonsense has become the holy cow of science. The experimental ‘tests’ provided by CERN are superfluous and the creation of their particle accelerator was not needed for the stated scientific purpose.
Investigative mythologist William Henry, who is a producer for the popular American TV show Ancient Aliens and author of over 18 books in alternative science, says: “If we take his [Leon Lederman’s] words literally, it suggests that the search for the “God Particle” and the creation of these amazing particle accelerators, such as the one at CERN, is actually a recreation of the Tower of Babel. Well, the Tower of Babel seems to have been humanity’s first attempt to blast open holes in Heaven, to open stargates and worm-holes”. Not many have made the connection, but the Shiva statue at CERN can be connected to the Tower of Babel. This is because Shiva is assumed by some to be the same person as Nimrod, and Nimrod was responsible for building the original Tower of Babel. According to Chris Relitz in his book ‘Antichrist Osiris: The History of the Luciferian Conspiracy’, Shiva and Nimrod are one and the same character. Quote: “By the time the character of Nimrod reached India, it seems he was known as Shiva. The legends of both are too similar to ignore. Both were associated with fire, destruction, wore bull’s horns, had profound phalluses and wore leopard skins. Both had a trident as a weapon, as the devil today is seen with a pitchfork”. This is also corroborated by Erica Nugent in her book ‘Clash of the Kingdoms’, where she says: “Nimrod became Shiva”. Could it be CERN’s goal to recreate the Tower of Babel, which might explain why they have a statue of Shiva (or Nimrod) as their mascot? Author of the book ‘Revising Reality’, Anthony Patch seems to think so, where he says: “Strangely, CERN constitutes a new Tower of Babel in several respects. The goal of CERN seeks to defy God, deify humankind, establish human supremacy, and create a stairway to Heaven”. Patch says that CERN is attempting to access the Saturn Polar Configuration and re-establish a worm-hole or link (he calls it a “plasma conduit”). Another name for this “plasma conduit” would be the Tower of Babel.
Similar to Patch, according to Nick Hinton, author of the book ‘The Saturn Time Cube Simulation’ and ‘The Aquarian Singularity’, CERN is attempting to access the worm-hole that existed during the Saturn Polar Configuration, as he explains in his Twitter article here (if that’s inaccessible to you) his Reddit article here. This worm-hole has been dubbed by some the “Saturn Stargate”. As Hinton says: “The Saturn Stargate is a theoretical celestial alignment (based on the Electric Universe theory) that supposedly causes a portal to open in the sky”. In the TechBubble article ‘How CERN plan to use the Large Hadron Collider to open portals to other dimensions’, researcher Adam Milton-Barker speculates (similar to Hinton) that CERN’s goal is to access the Saturn Polar Configuration, saying: “There are some very interesting theories connected to CERN. One theory is that there is a connection between CERN and Saturn. You may have heard of Jacob’s Ladder which is described in the Book of Genesis. One of CERN’s goals is to recreate Jacob’s Ladder and re-open a portal that is said to have existed between Earth, Venus, Mars, and Saturn, when the planets were in alignment many [thousands of] years ago”. As mentioned above, Talbott associates this alignment with the Tower of Babel. Various researchers have suggested that CERN are attempting to recreate the Tower of Babel, and some have speculated that the Tower of Babel was actually a worm-hole. The Saturn Polar Configuration (which Talbott associates with the Tower of Babel) was also represented by Atlas (see ‘Discourses on an Alien Sky#13’). In Greek mythology, Atlas bared the weight of the heavens on his shoulders. Curiously, CERN refers to the Large Hadron Collider as the “ATLAS EXPERIMENT” which connects them to the Tower of Babel, and may hint at their real objective.

I know a lot of people are talking about her recreating the Bejeweled music video in her relationship with Travis but she’s obviously doing Blank Space too. Not a new thought but worth diving more into.
Travis says it’s his favorite song. The Lake Como Villa looks a lot like the one in the Blank Space MV. I was also realizing that at the end of the MV, the next guy/PR relationship shows up in a red convertible which reminded me a lot of the convertible we first see them get into after the first football game she attended.
The lyrics of Blank Space fit so well. I’ve got my thoughts below. What else do you all see?
———-
Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven, sin Saw you there and I thought "Oh, my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Love's a game, wanna play?" Ay

Taylor chooses her next beard - this time it’s Travis. Love’s a game, wanna play? Might as well pick a football player to make the game analogy more obvious. She can show him amazing things. Make his Hollywood dreams come true.

—
New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine

Travis is the epitome of new money, suit & tie with his flamboyant dressing style. Pin stripe three piece suits, etc. She can read him like a magazine because he’s not deep enough to be a book.

—
Ain't it funny? Rumors fly And I know you heard about me So hey, let's be friends

Travis goes on his podcast and talks about wanting to give her a friendship bracelet (lol) causing rumors to fly.

—
I'm dying to see how this one ends Grab your passport and my hand I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

Travis says how they are planning to travel all over Europe together this summer during Eras. Get that passport ready Buddy.

—
So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over, mm If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game

Is it going to be worth it Travis? We know you love the game.

—
'Cause we're young, and we're reckless We'll take this way too far

Will they actually get engaged? Will they get married? How far will they take it?

—
It'll leave you breathless, mm Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane But I've got a blank space, baby And I'll write your name

Travis’s favorite song? She blows him a kiss during this song? C’mon

—
Cherry lips, crystal skies I could show you incredible things Stolen kisses, pretty lies You're the King, baby, I'm your Queen

I feel So High School. Almost like Tayvis is Homecoming King & Queen right? Stolen kisses backstage, on a boat in Italy… it’s true, swear, scouts honor.

—
Find out what you want Be that girl for a month

Travy wants a WAG, right? Taylor says bet, I can be the Waggiest Wag to ever Wag. I’ll drape myself in Chiefs gear and show up to every game. She can be that girl for a while…

—
Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh, no Screaming, crying, perfect storms I can make all the tables turn

Until she drops TTPD. Completely about an ex. She’s screaming, she’s crying, she’s craaaaaaazy. Wait where did the fun, bubbly WAG go?

—
Rose garden filled with thorns Keep you second guessing like "Oh, my God, who is she?" I get drunk on jealousy But you'll come back each time you leave 'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Stories come out about how she can’t bear to be without him. She’s insecure, maybe jealous? Photos show them looking sad, bored, over it. Is the daydream starting to feel like a nightmare?

—
Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya

Don’t say she didn’t warn you Travis. You already know, babe.

For offer I have 2 large NISB sets and a number of GWPs from the last few years. All are factory sealed. Prices are from current BL averages, but feel free to make an offer!
I'll update things here as they sell with strikethrough.
Shipped anywhere in the lower 48 - $15 shipping charge for a box, $5 for a bubble mailer (I'll cover PayPal fees).
Proof

Item	Name	Asking Price
10300	BttF Time Machine	$200
21327	Typewriter	$250
30603	Mr. Freeze Polybag	$10
40145	LEGO store	$30
40178	Iconic VIP	$15
40290	60yrs of the LEGO Brick	$30
40335	Space Rocket Ride	$24
40370	LEGO Trains 40th	$34
40407	Death Star II Battle	$28
40448	Vintage Car	$23
40450	Amelia Earhart Tribute	$23
40451	Tatooine Homestead	$26
40483	Luke's Lightsaber	$120
40484	Santa's Front Yard	$17
40485	FC Barcelona Celebration	$35
40487	Sailboat Adventure	$27
40490	Ninjago 10yr Brickheadz	$29
40530	Jane Goodall Tribute	$20
40532	Vintage Taxi	$30
40533	Cosmic Cardboard Adventures	$21
40563	Tribute to LEGO House	$21
40566	Ray the Castaway	$24
40581	BIONICLE Tahu and Takua	$21
40582	4x4 Off-Road Ambulance Rescue	$14
40586	Moving Truck	$28
40597	Scary Pirate Island (2 copies)	$17
40601	Majosto's Magical Workshop	$34
40683	Flower Trellis Display	$23
40684	Fruit Store	$32
40687	Alien Space Diner	$27
75317	Mando and the Child	$16
5004915	Master Wu Keychain	$4
5005255	Jurassic World Minifig Collection	$21
5005256	Marvel Super Heroes Minifig Collection	$76
5005257	NINJAGO Minifig Collection	$81
6346105	Roman Chariot	$60
6373621	Swing Ship Ride	$15

Hi all, I am writing a chat app which can play audio file in the chatscreen of the app. After updating to Expo SDK 51, the app cannot load the chatscreen with audio message (but it used to work fine when I was using Expo SDK 48). The following are the error showed in the log when I opened the chatscreen with audio message:
***************************************************
ERROR TypeError: Cannot read property 'Track' of undefined
This error is located at:
in AudioPlayerViewTest (created by Bubble)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by Bubble)
in TouchableWithoutFeedback (created by Bubble)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by Bubble)
in Bubble (created by ItemWithSeparator)
in ItemWithSeparator (created by CellRenderer)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by CellRenderer)
in VirtualizedListCellContextProvider (created by CellRenderer)
in CellRenderer (created by VirtualizedList)
in RCTScrollContentView (created by ScrollView)
in RCTScrollView (created by ScrollView)
in ScrollView (created by ScrollView)
in ScrollView (created by VirtualizedList)
in VirtualizedListContextProvider (created by VirtualizedList)
in VirtualizedList (created by VirtualizedSectionList)
in VirtualizedSectionList (created by SectionList)
in SectionList (created by ChatScreen)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by ChatScreen)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by PageContainer)
in PageContainer (created by ChatScreen)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by ImageBackground)
in ImageBackground (created by ChatScreen)
in RNCSafeAreaView
in Unknown (created by ChatScreen)
in ChatScreen (created by SceneView)
in StaticContainer
in EnsureSingleNavigator (created by SceneView)
in SceneView (created by SceneView)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by DebugContainer)
in DebugContainer (created by MaybeNestedStack)
in MaybeNestedStack (created by SceneView)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by SceneView)
in RNSScreen (created by Animated(Anonymous))
in Animated(Anonymous) (created by InnerScreen)
in Suspender (created by Freeze)
in Suspense (created by Freeze)
in Freeze (created by DelayedFreeze)
in DelayedFreeze (created by InnerScreen)
in InnerScreen (created by Screen)
in Screen (created by SceneView)
in SceneView (created by NativeStackViewInner)
in Suspender (created by Freeze)
in Suspense (created by Freeze)
in Freeze (created by DelayedFreeze)
in DelayedFreeze (created by ScreenStack)
in RNSScreenStack (created by ScreenStack)
in ScreenStack (created by NativeStackViewInner)
in NativeStackViewInner (created by NativeStackView)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by SafeAreaProviderCompat)
in SafeAreaProviderCompat (created by NativeStackView)
in NativeStackView (created by NativeStackNavigator)
in PreventRemoveProvider (created by NavigationContent)
in NavigationContent
in Unknown (created by NativeStackNavigator)
in NativeStackNavigator (created by StackNavigator)
in StackNavigator (created by MainNavigator)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by KeyboardAvoidingView)
in KeyboardAvoidingView (created by MainNavigator)
in MainNavigator (created by AppNavigator)
in EnsureSingleNavigator
in BaseNavigationContainer
in ThemeProvider
in NavigationContainerInner (created by AppNavigator)
in AppNavigator (created by App)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by MenuProvider)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by MenuProvider)
in MenuProvider (created by App)
in RNCSafeAreaProvider (created by SafeAreaProvider)
in SafeAreaProvider (created by App)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by GestureHandlerRootView)
in GestureHandlerRootView (created by App)
in Provider (created by App)
in App (created by withDevTools(App))
in withDevTools(App)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by AppContainer)
in RCTView (created by View)
in View (created by AppContainer)
in AppContainer
in main(RootComponent), js engine: hermes
***************************************************
My code for the audio player is as follows:

import React, { useState, useRef } from "react"; import { HStack, Icon, Slider, Text, Button, NativeBaseProvider, } from "native-base"; import { MaterialIcons } from "@expo/vector-icons"; import { Audio } from "expo-av"; function msToTime(millisec) { var seconds = (millisec / 1000).toFixed(0); var minutes = Math.floor(seconds / 60); var hours = ""; if (minutes > 59) { hours = Math.floor(minutes / 60); hours = hours >= 10 ? hours : "0" + hours; minutes = minutes - hours * 60; minutes = minutes >= 10 ? minutes : "0" + minutes; } seconds = Math.floor(seconds % 60); seconds = seconds >= 10 ? seconds : "0" + seconds; if (hours != "") { return hours + ":" + minutes + ":" + seconds; } return minutes + ":" + seconds; } export const AudioPlayerViewTest = (props) => { const { audioUrl, } = props; const [isPlaying, setIsPlaying] = useState(false); const [active, setActive] = useState(false); const [loaded, setLoaded] = useState(false); const [loading, setLoading] = useState(false); const sound = useRef(new Audio.Sound()); const [currentDuration, setCurrentDuration] = useState(0); const [totalDuration, setTotalDuration] = useState(0); React.useEffect(() => { loadAudio(); }, []); async function loadAudio() { setLoaded(false); setLoading(true); const checkLoading = await sound.current.getStatusAsync(); if (checkLoading.isLoaded === false) { try { const result = await sound.current.loadAsync({ uri: audioUrl }); if (result.isLoaded === false) { setLoading(false); console.log("Error in Loading Audio"); } else { setLoading(false); setLoaded(true); } } catch (error) { console.log(error); setLoading(false); } } else { setLoading(false); } } async function playAudio() { try { loadAudio(); const result = await sound.current.getStatusAsync(); console.log(result); if (result.isLoaded) { console.log("Play Audio"); await sound.current.playAsync(); // setPlayable(true); setIsPlaying(true); setActive(true); } sound.current.setOnPlaybackStatusUpdate((playbackStatus) => { if (playbackStatus.isPlaying) { setCurrentDuration(playbackStatus.positionMillis); setTotalDuration(playbackStatus.durationMillis); } if (playbackStatus.didJustFinish) { setIsPlaying(false); setActive(false); setCurrentDuration(0); sound.current.unloadAsync(); loadAudio(); } }); } catch (error) { console.log("Cannot Play Audio"); } } async function pauseAudio() { try { const result = await sound.current.getStatusAsync(); if (result.isLoaded) { if (result.isPlaying === true) { console.log("Pause Audio"); sound.current.pauseAsync(); setIsPlaying(false); setActive(false); } } } catch (error) { console.log("Cannot Pause Audio"); } } return (             {msToTime(currentDuration)} / {msToTime(totalDuration)}    ); }; 

Also, anyone has ideas on how I can modify the function playAudio( ) as I feel strange that the loadAudio has to appear twice (The purpose of that is to make the playback to go back to time =0 after direct finished playing).
Thanks in advance!

***Lily***
“Stupid gnome prejudice. I may not be the biggest fan of gnomes but, just because we are small doesn’t mean we can’t cause some damage.” Mogsten says as he walks over, kicks the fishman, and picks up the horn and dusts it off. “I’m hesitant to admit this since, when he regains consciousness, he will do what he could to ruin my business even more but, still, thank you Wabbajack.” He says.
“Don’t mention it Mogsten, this guy’s haggling game was all over the place.” Wabbajack responds.
“Indeed, he has no understanding of value.” Mogsten says with a smirk on his face.
“Well, unless he knew that you had about another sixty of those in the back that is.” Wabbajack says as he chuckles.
Mogsten quickly turns around as he says, “Shh. That’s a trade secret.” He then lets out an “oh ho ho” chuckle. He then looks down and yells, “Gourdsten! Clean up!”
Just like that, Gourdsten comes out from the back and drags the body off. Soon after the body disappears towards the back, Gourdsten reappears with a spray bottle, gloves, and a sponge.
“What happened to him?” I ask Mogsten.
“Don’t worry, I can’t afford a bloody reputation. He is just in stasis until the authorities get here.” Mogsten answers with.
“Stasis?” I ask.
“She really is new to all this huh? Stasis is basically freezing someone in a state of time. In this state however, while nothing can happen to them, they can’t function. Depending on the state they are in when they go under, they may be aware of the environment around them. Sometimes, certain criminals may undergo such punishment for their crimes.” Mogsten explains, looking at Wabbajack for some reason.
Mogsten then looks at me and asks, “So, did you find all the ingredients?”
I nod my head.
He then rubs his temple as he asks, “And you Really intend to go through with this?”
“There’s no other option!” I exclaim.
“Well, there are quite a few, just that they would take a LOT longer.” Wabbajack points out.
I look at him in annoyance and he responds with, “What? Just saying.”
I sigh and look at Mogsten and hand him the “ingredients”.
“Let’s see what we have. A fur scarf, a pistol, a lantern that looks like a child tried to make it, a… rubber duck. And what the world is this?” Mogsten asks pulling out the leg.
“It’s a prosthetic leg for a dragon-sized crocodile. Well, a smaller scale version at the very least.” I explain.
“Who would put a prosthetic leg on a Dragon-sized crocodile?” he asks.
“Right?” I ask in return.
He then looks back at the leg, strokes his fake beard, and says, “Well, when you put it like that, makes sense you would want to use it as an ingredient.” He then looks back at me and asks, “Are these the ingredients that you Really want to use?”
“They fit the descriptions that you gave me.” I point out.
He then looks at the ingredients again and says, “Yes… this may actually work then.”
“Come again?” I ask him.
“Well, one of the Biggest reasons, after that whole dark nature I mentioned, that this fails is that people try to influence their familiar by using ingredients that don’t inspire these feelings.” He explains.
“Because of this disconnection between the host and the familiar, that may also cause the familiar to go berserk as well.” Wabbajack then explains.
“Exactly!” Mogsten exclaims as he points towards to Wabbajack. He then looks back to me and asks, “With that in mind, are you one-Hundred percent sure that these ingredients are correct?”
I nod again and explain, “I can explain my reasons if you want.”
“No. As long as you are certain, then follow me to the back.” He says as he picks everything up again and starts waddling towards the back.
“Would you like some help?” I ask.
“No, I have to prepare everything anyways so it’s best I handle most things from here.” He explains.
Wabbajack walks past me but, I notice he is holding his banjo-thing upside-down. But, its neck is awfully long. Long enough to reach the ground and have the base be about level to his head. Which is pretty impressive since he is not that much taller than me. I want to ask about it but, I figured that is better left for later. Besides, I could probably guess that it can switch between a staff and an instrument. So, I shrug and follow them towards the back.
As I pass the flaps, I let out an audible, “Wow” because the room is massive! There is so much stock in here. I would have never guessed it from the gypsy-sized tent I see from the outside.
I guess Mogsten hears me as he says while putting the items in a pattern, “Spatial compression spell. It’s like that bag you are probably holding. It’s a pocket of space that you can mess with everything as long as it’s registered to you. Any merchant worth his salt at least attempts to lessen the target on his store to wannabe burglars. For example, there was a tannery that was completely torn apart for scrap. I hear the owner left it unattended And unlocked. I hope he can recover from that, it’s a pretty costly mistake.”
I look off towards the side and say, “Oh, I hear he is doing alright. Hehe.”
He pulls out a spray can and says while he shakes it, “That’s good.” He then starts spraying the ground.
I look over towards Wabbajack, who is standing sideways towards the thing Mogsten is working on. He has his free hand about chest level, fingers-spread, and it looks like he has a weird circle thing again like when I think I have seen him do before when he casted magic. Like when he summoned that ghost thing. I guess he is on guard duty.
I look back at Mogsten and see he is about halfway done at this point. He works fast since the design is very intricate. Now that I think about it, it looks like that circle Wabbajack has but… different. I think I remember reading about this. These must be magic circles. While they look similar, they must be different since each magic circle represents something different. Kinda like snowflakes. I can’t help but ask, “What’s that you are spraying to make that magic circle?”
“Ah, someone has been studying. It’s a mixture of compounds for creating the familiar summoning circle. I kept a few around just in case that someone managed to convince me to do this.” He explains. He then stands up and shakes it some more as he says, “I thought it was unlikely but, a smart businessman looks at every opportunity.” He then goes back to spraying and says, “Now, no offense, but mind letting me focus? I got to make sure I get this perfect. I want to lessen the margin of error as much as possible.”
“Oh! Sure. Sorry.” I say. Now that I think about it, I look towards my bag and think about what he said, “Like my bag.” I open it and it looks like a normal bag. Either it needs to be activated or it doesn’t have that spell yet. I’ll have to ask about that after we are done.
“Before I forget, leave your bandolier and bag over by Wabbajack there. We don’t want to add unnecessary items to the circle.” Mogsten says as he shakes the can again.
“Oh! Alright!” I respond. I take off my bandolier and put it down by Wabbajack.
“Don’t worry. If worse comes to worse, I’ll protect you. And come whatever may, we’ll figure out what to do next.” Wabbajack says.
I feel a little relief hearing him say that. Next thing I know, Gourdsten runs up to me with a simple white robe. “Oh, what’s this?” I ask.
“It’s a robe.” Wabbajack says.
As I look at him, annoyed, Gourdsten says, “Robe! Wear Robe!”
Mogsten then explains, “You’ll have to take off the rest of your gear as well and wear just that robe. Like I said, No unnecessary items. Only simple clothes.”
I look at the robe and say, “Oh… There is a changing room, right?”
“This way! Here, here!” Gourdsten says as he pulls my arm.
“Alright! Calm down.” I say.
I follow him to a wooden stall. “I guess I change in there, huh?” I ask.
“Yes! Correct!” Gourdsten says.
I sigh and open it up, step inside and change. Afterwards, after I step out in the robe, Gourdsten then says, “Shoes! Too!”
I look down and sigh. I then ask, “Can that wait till we get back?”
“Shoes! Shoes! He repeats.
I then puff my face in annoyance as I sit down and take off my shoes. “Happy?” I ask.
He just jumps up and down and starts walking back.
All I can think is that it’s a good thing that the floor is at least wooden. I then get up, grab my stuff, and chase after him.
As we get back, Mogsten appears out of nowhere and points behind him as he says, “Circle is done. All that is left is the blood of the subject.”
“You’re not going to slit my wrists, are you?” I ask with a meek chuckle.
“Heaven’s no!” He says as he pulls out a syringe. He then grabs my wrist under these large sleeves and asks, “On three. Ready?”
I nervously nod my head. Just as he opens his mouth, I quickly say, “Wait! Why do we need blood again?” Trying to delay the inevitable.
He looks at me and explains, “A familiar is an extension of yourself. Quite literally. In order to cement that bond, it needs the blood of the host. That bond will allow you and your familiar to share experiences but, still allow autonomy for individual thought. You can live without it but, for it to retain its presence, it needs you alive.”
“Fascinating. Mind going into more detail?” I say with a weak smile.
He then stabs the syringe into my wrist as he says, “No.”
“Ow!” I yelp.
Just like that, he pulls the syringe out and empties it out into a bowl. “Alright, here you go.” He says as he hands me the bowl.
As I stare into a small bowl of my own blood, I ask, “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Now, You stand at the center of the circle. As I activate the circle, the blood will start sloshing around in that bowl. Do NOT let a SINGLE drop fall out until the last item is floating. When the last item does start floating, pour the blood in the center and take four steps back. Got it?” he explains.
I look over back to the circle and then look back to Mogsten and repeat, “Don’t let it spill until the last object starts floating. When it does, pour it all out and take four steps back, right?”
He nods and says, “Correct.” I think I then hear him mumble, “I can’t believe I was convinced to do this.” As he walks away.
I then take my place at the center of the circle. I am somewhat trembling at this point.
“Are you sure, you want to do this?” Mogsten asks again.
“Just do it already!” I yell back.
He lets out a sigh and starts mouthing something as he levels out his arms towards me.
I could feel the energy around me shifting and moving. I start seeing the objects that were placed start floating one by one. Slowly but surely. I then look down at the bowl and it is sloshing around. So far, not too bad. Around the time the fourth object starts floating, the blood really starts flying around to the point I have to actually adjust to make sure it doesn’t go flying out.
After a few more minutes the last object starts flying up. As soon as it stops moving, I pour the blood and take four steps back. The blood stops midair and forms a bubbling ball. It then rises up about level to my face. It stops bubbling and then a flash of blinding light envelops the room and I try to shield my eyes.
After a minute, I slowly open my eyes and lower my arms. What I see before me is something pretty weird.
It’s in the shape of a sphere with a detached fox tail. The floating tail matches the fur of the body of the “familiar”, I guess. Its fur is a golden yellow with a white tip. The body looks like it has a line down the middle, with Very sharp fangs from the top row. It has fox ears and tiny fox paws and a fox nose. It’s got lines for eyes? Either that or they are just closed. Between its ears, it has a lantern dangling from a line, kinda like an angler fish. The other side of that line looks like white gator leather and it has two tiny gator feet. As it yawns, I guess, it opens its massive mouth, showing all its fangs, top and bottom rows, and stretches its fox paws, revealing some nasty looking barbed claws. It’s only as tall as, from the floor, up to my knee.
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Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

Hi everyone, I'm working in Pharma industry in Cork and recently (maybe 12months ago) a lovely girl joined my company and recently she moved to my department. I get on with her very well, she's a great character, always bubbly and fun. Sometimes I find that I've not been the best person or as accommodating to her since she joined because I keep either calling her by her old name or by using male words and pronouns towards her. In Cork we say "boy" quite a lot and I keep saying it to her. I've never spoken to her about my it because I'm very embarrassed about it. Is there any advice in how I can speak to her and how I should go about it to apologize?
I've never met a trans person before her and I'm from a small community in rural Ireland, so tbh all of this is brand new to me. Some of the conversations or comments I've overheard about her are not the greatest (small minority), but I guess I'm just looking for a bit of advice in how to manage the situation correctly without causing any hurt.
Thanks!

Hi,
I have a ROG RYUJIN III 240mm non ARGB aio cooler installed in a Lian li o11 mini. It’s installed to the right of the PC, not on top (Here’s a picture) https://www.reddit.com/pcmasterrace/s/3ojfBYQeqO it started with a light buzzing noise and I searched online and it looks as if there’s air bubbles trapped in the pump. Here’s a video of the noise: https://www.reddit.com/PcBuild/comments/1cx2osd/rog_ryujin_iii_240mm_trapped_air_bubbles/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Things I tried to make them disappear:

• Leaning the pc on one side and another. The sounds disappears for about 1 minute or so and then come back.
  
• Detaching the radiator and jiggling it on different positions. (Mostly above the pump) The sound sometimes got worse and sometimes disappeared. After minutes it will come back to the same point: a rattling, constant noise.
  

Should I try detaching the pump completely from the motherboard and shaking it from different angles?

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As a child I watched a cartoon on CD. I've been trying to come up with the name of that cartoon for a year now, please help me. that is: 2 yellow animated characters (I'm not 100% sure), one younger, the other older, the point was that one drew something and the other had to guess it, we as viewers also guessed, the story was episodic and in every part there was drawing something else, the task was to teach children to draw. If I'm not mistaken, the characters couldn't talk and communicated through thought bubbles.

As a child I watched a cartoon on CD. I've been trying to come up with the name of that cartoon for a year now, please help me. that is: 2 yellow animated characters (I'm not 100% sure), one younger, the other older, the point was that one drew something and the other had to guess it, we as viewers also guessed, the story was episodic and in every part there was drawing something else, the task was to teach children to draw. If I'm not mistaken, the characters couldn't talk and communicated through thought bubbles.

Lately, both in person and on this sub, I have seen a worrying amount of misinformation spreading about the political party Aon Tu. This misinformation either states that they are a left/liberal party or that they are not right/conservative. This is however clearly wrong as any amount of inspection of their statements and social media makes clear; any clear dive into their policies and statements make it clear that they are instead very right wing, if not far right. They use the many familiar terms associated with similar parties, hold the same stances, and even retweet them and their content.
In order to illustrate this below I am presenting the various tweets made by Peadar Tóibín (the current leader of the party, their founder, and currently sole elected official) as well as their official twitter account. I have limited it solely to tweets due to time and space constraints, I have also had to limit the amount of tweets due to the same constraints There is more and I strongly encourage anyway to check their accounts for themselves. If there is interest I can do a deep dive into their other socials and statements, however I do not think there is a way to access the backlog of debates they have had on RTE and radio unfortunately. I believe this thread will stand on it's own however and other such threads won't be needed.
I will present the below tweets without comment, sorting them only into sections for ease of reading. Some may contain a note below in order to give more context as to what the tweet is referencing. The one section I did not include was the various tweets on the referendum, this is because due to recency I did not think it was needed.
Edit: Fixed some formatting errors below that escaped notice when first posting, as well as one entry being under the wrong heading.
Vaccine Denial:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 12/07/2021

Aontú opposes vaccine Passports for indoor Hospitality.
Its discrimination against many people mostly the young.
Its mandatory vaccination through the back door.
Again the Irish Gov is alone in the whole of Europe in the extreme path it's taking.

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/10/2021

99.7% of the adult population in Waterford is fully vaccinated, yet it has one of the highest Covid-19 incidence rates in the country.
The truth is the Gov don't know why this is happening.
Now they will refuse entry to pubs to 0.3% unvaccinated to see does that work. #NPHET

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/01/2022

No, it's not April Fools day.
That people being paid by the state are actually discussing this is incredible.
FF/FG/Greens need to knock this madness on the head ASAP.

Note: Linked news article can be found here; Nphet to consider mandatory vaccination, department preparing paper on legal and ethical aspects
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/10/2022

I have submitted this question;
To ask the Minister for Health, has he or his department ever received any data, evidence or information from Pfizer that indicates that that the Pfizer Covid Vaccine was ever tested in terms of its ability to stop the transmission of Covid?

Anti Covid Lockdown:
Tweeted by Toibin; 15/11/2020

480 people got Cancer today.
24 people died of Cancer today
27 people died of Heart Disease and Stroke today.
This will hardly get a mention in the media today.
#COVID19

Tweeted by Toibin; 13/05/2021

8 deaths related to Covid were reported yesterday.
We share our deepest sympathies with these families.
The manner in which Covid deaths are being reported is concerning.
They were all from March or earlier.
Reporting them yesterday gives people a false impression of risk.

Tweeted by Toibin; 26/05/2021

The majority of people who died from Covid caught Covid in a Nursing Home or a Hospital.
So while the whole country was shut closed most people died in locations that were run by or regulated by the government.
This is an incredible situation.

Note: A video is attached.
Tweeted by Toibin; 05/06/2021

All the the people with Covid in Hospital in Ireland would fit on 1 Double Decker Bus.
Yet people were baton charged in Dublin last night and
Pubs and Restaurants wont open indoors for another month.
#ItsTimeForCommonSense #OpenHospitality #southwilliamst #Aontú

Tweeted by Toibin; 14/07/2021

The Government's Hospitality Discrimination Bill has passed all stages in the Dáil after only a few hours of debate.
It will be now legal to discriminate against certain Irish citizens.
A sad day for Ireland.

Note: The bill which has a picture taken of it in the tweet can be read here.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 30/10/2021

Some citizens are allowed into pubs.
Some citizens are not.
It's stunning that this has happened in the 21st century.
It's stunning that so much of society has just accepted it.
Worst of all, it's not even working.

Tweeted by Toibin; 24/11/2021

I have recieved information that the Goverment,
has carried out NO scientific research into the effectiveness or otherwise of the Covid Pass.
At all.
#FollowTheScience #TheySaid

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/12/2021

Are the Gov going to say that a healthy young person thats triple vaccinated along with their Covid Pass can't have a pint after 5pm.
What's the point of it all so?

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/01/2022

Very interesting to see Nphet and the Dept of Health go from researching Mandatory Vaccines to lifting restrictions in 10 days!

Anti LGBT:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/10/2022

Women live in period poverty just a few miles from the Dáil.
Instead of helping them,
your virtual signalling political establishment
put a tampon machine in the men's toilet in the Dáil.

Tweeted by Toibin; 16/02/2023

Plans by FF, FG & Greens to change the law to allow 16 year olds to legally change gender, against advice of medical experts,
shows how completely alienated the political bubble is from the people of Ireland.
Aontú will oppose this and seek a return to commonsense and science.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 05/03/2023

When Minister O Gorman refused redress to many who had been in Mother and Baby Homes because of the 'lack of money', he raided hundreds of thousands from the Magdalene Scheme and Travellers supports & diverted the funding towards the LGBTQ+ Community.

Note: There is an article linked in the tweet, about an accusation made by Toibin. Read it here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 06/03/2023

Varadkar is wrong. 9 &10 year old children are too young to be taught about transgenderism. We have a duty of care to children.
No research has been has been carried out on the impact of such education.

Tweeted by Toibin; 07/03/2023

I've asked the Minister for Ed what research has the Dept of Education carried out
on the impact on primary school children of delivering material on Transgenderism to them in the classroom?
We've a duty of care to children.
Education should be based on evidence not ideology.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 08/03/2023

Tóibín asked Varadkar if his Gov had carried out any research as to the impact on 8 & 9 year old children of teaching about transgenderism in primary school.
Leo refused to answer the question.
Radical changes are being introduced against majority consent.

Note: There is an attached video.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/03/2023

Many people have been shocked by Paul Murphy's announcement.
But what's more shocking is that FF, FG, SF and the Greens,
are on exactly the same page as the hard left parties on teaching this ideology in every primary school in the country.

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/05/2023

This is incredible. All the actual crime that is happening on our streets and Gardaí are wasting time like this.
Even though there was no arrest here, this harassment creates a clear chilling effect on free speech and political discourse.

Note: There is an attached video in the tweet retweeted by Toibin, in it a Gardai is holding a polite conversation with an American holding a sign against "Gender Ideology." In their Twitter bio they describe themselves; "Father of two girls. Traveling the world to expose gender ideology and why children cannot consent to medical transition."
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 07/07/2023

Growing concern among parents that the new curriculum for 12 & 13 years in school is not age appropriate & is not science based.
Gender identity ideology is now mandatory for schools & thousands of parents will have no option but to withdraw their child from class.

Note: This article is linked on the topic of a statement made by Toibin.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 23/07/2023

This is why so many are angry with the Minister for Culture Wars, Helen McEntee.
Homicides are up, murder attempts are up, rape & sexual assaults are up, theft is up. Yet....
Gardaí management are focused on allowing male born Gardaí use women’s toilets.

Note: There is an attached article; here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 28/09/2023

The Green Party are becoming increasingly authoritarian in nature.
If you dissent from government sanctioned views, you will be investigated.
This is the opposite of a liberal democracy.

Note: There is a linked article; it pertains to an investigation by the IABA into the usage of their premises by a "Christian Group" advocating for the removal of all LGBT+ content from the SPHE curriculum.
Tweeted by Toibin; 14/03/2024

It is reckless beyond belief to give dangerous chemicals and irreversible surgery to children with gender dysphoria.
This must be made illegal in Ireland immediately.

Note: Includes a retweet of this news article.
Anti Hatespeech bill:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/06/2023

Helen McEntee has become the Minister for Culture Wars.
Incredibly Varadkar accused PBP of being a threat to Free Speech.
FG, FF & the Greens are the biggest threat to free speech.

Note: There is a link article here.
Tweeted by Toibin; 26/07/2023

US gives Dublin a security warning for US citizens travelling to Ireland.
Meanwhile Minister McEntee is too busy with the Hate Speech Bill and Safe Zone Bill to worry about real people suffering actual crime.

Tweeted by Toibin; 28/03/2024

Helen McEntee is distracted by the Culture Wars.
People just want her to do her job, & make the streets safer.
Instead, she spent the last two years on a Hate Crime Bill no one wants. #BinTheBill

Note: There is an attached video.
Other:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/02/2023

In the Dáil yesterday the hard left tried to close down a discussion on migration by calling people names.
This issue is too important. People have a right to respectfully ask questions and challange government policy.

Note: There is an attached video; it does not depict such name calling but rather Toibin accusing the government of name calling.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/07/2023

Another day and another culture war imported by the government from America.

Note: A retweet from Gript media with an attached video.
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/03/2024

There is a battle over the narrative of the referendum defeat happening at the moment.
Some within the political & media bubble want to erase the fact that so many people have had enough of the culture wars and want the country to get back to commonsense and bread and butter.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 19/03/2024

At a Dept of Education 'In Service' day,
their staff told secondary school teachers not to use the word 'Mother' in class as they said it was not inclusive.
They are implementing Gov policy.
Aontú disagrees wholeheartedly with this policy.
Happy Mothers Day.

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/04/2024

Says the man who seeks to delete more Irish sovereignty with the EU migration pact.

Note: A retweet from Simon Harris talking about the need to defend Ukraine's sovereignty.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 11/04/2024

The decision by FG, FF and Green MEPs to cede the power to control immigration into Ireland to Brussels was a serious mistake. Aontú oppose this pact and will fight to retain and regain sovereignty in Europe #aontú

RULES:

1. No stores or dealers selling on here. We won't stop stores from responding to sell posts with buy offers, though. At that point, it's up to the seller to accept or reject the offer.
   
2. Do not spam this thread. Your sell/trade offer(s) should be confined to one post per week. If you list multiple cards as separate orders, or multiple lots of cards as separate orders, do so in the same post with a clear delineation. As a seller, you may post whether you want offers within the thread or whether you want a private message. If you want to make this different for different listings, that's your prerogative. State what country you're shipping from and include shipping price+method for your own country. If you are willing to ship to other countries, say so.
   
3. No eBay posts.
   
4. If a card is sold/traded, edit your post and invalidate any pending offers for that card. "Short selling" is not acceptable here, since we're dealing in physical goods and shipping times may be an issue, especially if the buyer is a tournament player. Do not short sell cards.
   
5. Buyers: Post your offer directly underneath a sell listing, unless you are topping someone else's offer, in which case you should post directly underneath that offer.
   
6. Buyers: Feel free to post a "want" list.
   
7. For the sake of preventing identity theft and/or harassment, do NOT post identifying information (name, address, paypal info) in the thread.
   
8. No throwaway accounts.
   
9. Needless to say, we're Magic players. We don't necessarily have to pay in cash. It's entirely up to the seller whether to consider "2 Force of Will" as a highelower bid than $160.
   
10. There is also a deckbox.org trading area that can be used as well, at http://deckbox.org/communities/reddit_mtg_trades.
    

If you have any comments about the rules rather than about a particular auction, feel free to discuss them here.
PAYPAL FEE INFO: (Quoted from Paypal)
Free when the money comes from PayPal balance or bank account.
2.9% + $0.30 USD when the money comes from a debit or credit card or PayPal Credit
MAILING INFO: See USPS Link.
SCAMMER INFO: I will not link it directly here, but be sure to check out the scammer list on deckbox before doing any trading to ensure yourself to having a safe trade!
You probably can't mail off more than one toploader in a normal envelope+stamp due to it being too rigid; and you shouldn't do this for more than $10-20 worth of cards anyway since there's no tracking. Get a bubble mailer and get it tracked.

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.

So, let's start by accepting that all rings are not created equal. Each ring is a ring, but each ring has its own circumstances that determine how they are remembered down the line. What contributes into that? Generally, it seems the most considered factors are narrative and path, narrative being the behind-the-scenes story context that gives this ring meaning to fans of the players and teams, and path being the strictly basketball elements like the opponents played and actual performance. Let's look at the recent rings going back 20 years. Disclaimer, I just started watching basketball in 2010, so I've probably missed bits of context from the 2000s ones.
I scored them out of 5 based on narrative and path, added the totals, and broke ties with my own subjective, sometimes biased opinion.

• (20th) 2018 Warriors. You won't find many non-Warriors/KD fans who respect this ring and 2017's for obvious reasons. Path-wise, they played good but not particularly great opponents besides Houston, and you can put an asterisk or two on that series if you want, though those Rockets were still a great team who would have won it all otherwise. 1/5 narrative, 3/5 path, 4/10 total.
• (19th) 2021 Bucks. A strong narrative for Giannis and the Bucks. Giannis dropped 50 to bring Milwaukee their first ring in 50 years and redeem himself for choking. The ring is unfortunately remembered along with a weird COVID season that meant half-full arenas for most of the season and some of the playoffs, as well as injuries (which will fall under the path criteria). This is the injuring. No one will remember this run without remembering KD's foot, which leads to further memories of Harden and Kyrie's injuries. Giannis does get kudos for powering through injury himself. 3.5/5 narrative, 2/5 path, 5.5/10 total.
• (18th) 2017 Warriors. This ring is funny. Narrative-wise, it's one of the weakest ever: KD ran to a 73-win team because he couldn't win by himself. On the court, though, this was the most dominant team in NBA history. You can knock them for not having to play a healthy Kawhi, but they still worked an elite Cavs team that would probably have won it all otherwise. 1/5 narrative, 4.5/5 path, 5.5/10 total.
• (17th) 2007 Spurs. Another legacy-building ring for Duncan and especially Parker, who was the first European to win Finals MVP. The Spurs also established themselves as the team with the 4th most championships ever. The hip-checking incident could have swung their 2nd round series against Phoenix though, and otherwise the run was a bit of a cakewalk. 4/5 narrative, 2/5 path, 6/10 total.
• (16th) 2023 Nuggets. Solid narrative, with Jokic leading Denver to their first ever ring and Jamal Murray showing his importance. A franchise winning their first ring gives plenty of automatic narrative points. The path points are where they fall short due to playing in a relatively weak West lacking other contenders and facing an 8th seed in the Finals. 4/5 narrative, 2/5 path, 6/10 total.
• (15th) 2020 Lakers. I don't think many still had LeBron lower than #2 all-time before this ring, but after it, I really hope no one does. He made history in winning a Finals MVP with a 3rd team. You can diminish it with the "needed AD" argument but two stars isn't a superteam. And of course COVID. The bubble did impact everyone the same, but it plays a big part in how the ring was remembered. The path itself was nothing special, but the Lakers took care of business, losing only 5 games the whole playoffs. 3/5 narrative, 3.5/5 path, 6.5/10 total.
• (14th) 2015 Warriors. A new superstar comes on stage, bringing GS their first title in 40 years. The three-point revolution has begun. Iguodala winning FMVP is still questionable. Path-wise, obviously the Cavs weren't healthy, and you can argue they would have won if they were considering how LeBron was playing. Otherwise, the Warriors made their way through a Western Conference gauntlet. I think Curry is the only player to have beaten all other 1st Team All-NBA players in one playoff run. 3.5/5 narrative, 3/5 path, 6.5/10 total.
• (13th) 2006 Heat. Miami's first ring ever and Shaq's first without Kobe. Memory of this one is somewhat marred by dubious officiating, but that may be my flair talking. That aside, beating two 60-win teams is very impressive. Off the top of my head, the only other team to accomplish that feat in recent memory is the 2009 Magic. 3/5 narrative, 4/5 path, 7/10 total.
• (12th) 2022 Warriors. Curry wins another without KD and captures his first Finals MVP, winning with a team that didn't really have any other star-level options compared to when they won their previous rings. Klay came back after 2 years out, and the Warriors weathered multiple injuries to have a strong regular season. The path was pretty unremarkable. They played injured Nuggets, but in the first round and they'd been injured the whole year. 4/5 narrative, 3/5 path, 7/10 total.
• (11th) 2008 Celtics. This ring began the modern superteam era and reignited the dormant Celtics/Lakers rivalry. KG, Pierce, and Allen won their first rings and denied Kobe a chance at 4. Dominant as they were in the regular season though, they probably should not have been taken to 7 in the first two rounds. 4/5 narrative, 3/5 path, 7/10 total.
• (10th) 2013 Heat. Ring #2 for Bron, capping a dominant individual season and establishing the Heat as a dynasty threat. You can say Ray Allen, but this is discussing how valuable the rings are to the teams, not players, so that doesn't factor into the path. I would weigh it positively into narrative due to giving us one of the most legendary shots of all time. The Heat also gave the Spurs their first Finals loss ever. Path-wise, the first two rounds were a cakewalk but the Heat took care of business, the Pacers were a strong team that went on to be the 1st seed next year, and the Spurs were still elite. 4/5 narrative, 3.5/5 path, 7.5/10 total.
• (9th) 2019 Raptors. First ring for the Raptors? Kawhi reminding the league who he is? Ending the Warriors dynasty? Buzzer-beater in Game 7? Amazing narrative. Path-wise, the fact that they faced the Warriors without KD and then Klay hurts them a lot. They still won, but the fact that you can make a very strong case that they wouldn't have without the injuries is a knock on what is otherwise a strong path. 5/5 narrative, 3/5 path, 8/10 total.
• (8th) 2005 Spurs. If Duncan wasn't already the greatest PF ever before this ring, he certainly was after it. This ring marks his 3rd, along with 3 FMVPs and 2 MVPs. A strong legacy-building ring. Great path as well, especially handling the reigning MVP and 1st seed in 5 games and defeating the defending champions. 4/5 narrative, 4/5 path, 8/10 total.
• (7th) 2010 Lakers. Same narrative as 2009 below, bolstering Kobe's case as a great in his own right without his name attached to Shaq's. The West was particularly strong this year, with the 8th seed Thunder having 50 wins. You could put an asterisk on the Finals due to Perkins' injury, but it was still a strong path otherwise. This was the first NBA Finals I watched. 4/5 narrative, 4/5 path, 8/10 total.
• (6th) 2009 Lakers. Kobe's first without Shaq, tying them in ring count and showing that Kobe didn't need Shaq to win. They made it through a strong Western Conference and beat an almost 60-win Magic team in 5. They did get fortunate in avoiding Boston due to injury, but that was well before the Finals. 4/5 narrative, 4/5 path, 8/10 total.
• (5th) 2012 Heat. LeBron wins his first-ever ring, with that legendary performance against Boston coming in the middle. Clean ring with a clean path: Melo's Knicks, solid Pacers squad, big 3 Boston's last stand, and big 3 OKC's last run before Harden leaves. 4/5 narrative, 4.5/5 path, 8.5/10 total.
• (4th) 2014 Spurs. A revenge tour. The Spurs denied LeBron a threepeat and gave Duncan a 5th ring, tying him with Kobe, and cemented Kawhi as an emerging superstar. This team is fondly remembered as one of the best pure basketball teams and for good reason. They played very strong opponents and handled them without too much trouble. 4/5 narrative, 5/5 path, 9/10 total.
• (3rd) 2016 Cavaliers. LeBron brings one to Cleveland for the first time ever and wins away from Miami, cementing him as #2 all-time in many people's eyes. And of course, he beat a 73-win team in an amazing 3-1 comeback with some of the clutchest plays ever by him and Kyrie. The Draymond suspension was iffy though as you can argue this directly swung the series. The East was also a cakewalk. 5/5 narrative, 4/5 path, 9/10 total.
• (2nd) 2004 Pistons. The Pistons remain one of the most unique champions in that they lacked a true superstar. They are remembered for exemplifying the low-scoring high-defense era of the 2000s and also ending the Kobe-Shaq era. Along the way, they beat the two-time defending conference champions in the Nets, a very strong Pacers team, and of course those Lakers. A very strong ring. 5/5 narrative, 4.5/5 path, 9.5/10 total.
• (1st) 2011 Mavericks. Perhaps the best narrative ever: Dirk overcomes the choker label and leads the Mavs to their first ring ever against a superteam thought unbeatable by many, casually ending the Lakers' run as two-time champions on the way. They played a gauntlet of difficult opponents on the way, dispatching 9 HOF players and 2 HOF coaches with relative ease. 5/5 narrative, 5/5 path, 10/10 total.

How do you think the 2024 ring will be remembered depending on who wins? The Timberwolves in particular have a chance to win a very strong ring. They would have beaten the Suns, Nuggets, Mavs, and most likely the Celtics. Gobert and KAT would throw off the playoff underperformer labels for good and Ant would emerge as one of this generation's greats. If the Mavs win, their ring would be a little weaker due to playing injured Kawhi and not having to go through the defending champs, but it would rebuild Kyrie's legacy, vindicate Cuban for tanking, establish Jason Kidd as a championship head coach, and of course give Luka a ring. If the Celtics win, they would have played relatively weak opponents for the first three rounds but could win some path points with a strong Finals showing; Tatum's perception could increase or decrease depending on how the Finals go, with his personal legacy points surely to be deducted if Brown wins Finals MVP. If the Pacers win, a strong showing against the Celtics and whoever they play in the Finals could erase the asterisks from the first two rounds. If the Pacers won while facing healthy Milwaukee and NY, it would be a crazy strong ring.

Race Name: No Time To Die Frontyard Ultra
Start: Friday 17 May 12pm
Entrants: Just over 150
Location: Edge of Central Business District Adelade, South Australia (Victoria Park)
Lap distance: circa 6.71km
Total i raced: 115.3km - winner did 396km
Organisers: Ultra Series SA
Me: 35 Male, Australian
Training and lead up
I’ve been running for almost 2.5 years now, with a primary focus on Zone 2 base building for the last two years.
My running goals are too varied - with wanting a fast 5km (PB: 19:39), a sub-50 12.1km (PB: 51:30), the six major marathons (done one non-major, 3:48, impacted by double quad cramps), a BQ marathon time, and 100milers (done a 50km ultra, a trail mara, and a road mara).
However, this was to be an A Race.
Further, I started a Pfitz 18/55 marathon training block four weeks before the race with a 3:15 target, and diligently completed each planned run for the first two weeks.
Before the Pfitz block, I hit 93km in the week.
February was 244km, March was 276km, April was 260km, May-to-date is 206km (from 6 runs). 46km/week on average for last 12 months.
Specific training was 6 laps on-course, 7 laps from home (35degrees), 6 laps on-course.
Two weeks before the Frontyard Ultra, I hurt my Achilles in my circa 3rd run using Alphafly 3, setting a HM PB on a Pfitz training run. I then did a horrible 6.5km on the Saturday, then six laps of the frontyard ultra course on Sunday with tears in the eye from pain (my first 100km week).
Saw a GP on Monday, got an ultrasound on Tuesday, got ultrasound results on Wednesday, saw a sportsdoctor on Thursday.
Diagnosis: Sub-acute tendonitis, everything that could be inflamed is inflamed, and a bursa.
Sportsdoctor: “The risk of doing the ultramarathon without doing a rupture is acceptable, but the risk of a tear in the medium term is unacceptable without taking appropriate action. Do the ultra, then come back a week later (which is still two days from now) to start treatment. “
Everyone else in my life, including the GP: “don’t run.”
Had pain at rest for pretty much all of this time, and a reasonable amount over the following 8 days – but less so by a couple of days before the race. Over this 12 day period I only did one run, a fairly slow parkrun halfway-through.
Late decision: Do the race, but try to avoid doing a permanent injury, don’t set a distance goal, just focus on learning stuff for next year.
Pre-Race:
· Packing list included circa 85 items
· Got picked up at 9:20am, arrived 10:00am
· Had a premium gazebo site (#recommended), which cost an extra $50.
· Set-up took about 30 minutes -> Mainly fluffing around with getting the gazebos appropriately lined up on the pre-booked site.
· Toilet’s were inadequate for the first 8 hours or so before six more opened – but, by then, it was dark so bush wees were the order of the night.
· Target was originally 50mins per lap
· Weather was sunny and max of about 21, and a minimum of around 13/14.
Race:
Used Garmin FR955 with highish brightness, and most accurate GPS, which used around 4% battery per hour.
Laps:
48:35
49:45
50:01
49:06
47:52
49:20
50:04
50:15
50:29
52:18
51:37
51:30
51:24
50:45
51:30
53:30
56:53 (deliberately slow – knew it was the last lap – had already asked Wifey to pack up)
Started the 18th lap, just because, and rung the bell after 58seconds. One other person did too.
I started with a run 1km, walk 1km strategy, but this went out the window pretty quickly and became not-strict as I wanted to talk to certain other competitors -> eg, mates, acquaintances I knew from other races, Johan Botha (eventual winner with 59 laps, also shoutout to Joel Sexton for the assist), some guy wearing a UTMB 2023 top, etc – so I was more than happy to change when I walked/ran to have those conversations. I don’t think that negatively impacted me.
Also, as the race went on (from about lap 11), my comfortable running speed was slipping from originally 5:15/km through to 6 to 7:30mins, to even 8mins by the end, which meant needing to run for the significant majority of the lap, and/or running at an uncomfortable speed. My comfortable walking speed also increased from 9:30/km to 13:30/km.
I believe that there were 35 runners that completed lap 17.
A lot of others were trying to do 3mins run, 2 mins walk, or 5mins run, 3mins walk, or some other variant, at the start.
Nutrition:
Drink: I drank 500ml on each of about 11 of the first 13 laps (and 350ml on the other two), and averaged about 400ml a lap for the remaining four laps. I also drank between each lap. I generally alternated between Tailwind (100g of carbs)/Powerade (1.5L(90g carbs)) /maurten drink mix (40g carbs) and water, on top of two cups of coke and a can of solo. I weighed the same when I got home versus when I left home – implying I drank slightly too much but was pretty spot on (noting that I ate food, so, I essentially lost “water” weight equal to the weight of food I ate). I wish I had packed another tailwind or two.
I ate a lot:
Prerace: rice bubbles, juice, killer python, banana x2, peanut butter sandwich, small packet of crisps.
Each hour: Approx. 50-90g of carbs every hour (probably more than necessary, but, without having gut issues I am happy with this decision), including liquid carbs, 6 killer pythons (101g carbs), 3 sandwiches, a small handful of koda gels and two handfuls of maurten gels, 150g of Haighs Speckles, a banana, watermelon pieces, chicken crimpys, small packet of tiny teddy’s, 3 small bags of crisps, 2xnaak waffles, hot chips, few lollies, a little bit of soup, etc. Generally one or two pieces whilst running, and one piece between laps.
I can confidently remember 1028g of carbs (60.5g/hour) – but probably missed a couple of pieces of food. For clarity, I also ate a lot in the hour before the race that I’m not including in this 1028g.
Drugs: I also took Celecoxib (on-top of morning dose), 4Panadeine Forte, 2Panadeine, 2Panadol, 2Nurofen --< I couldn’t have done many laps without these.
Shoes: I started in RC Elite v2, started to get knee pain, changed to Superblast, got worse knee pain, changed back to RC Elite v2, got 2 killer blisters on the side of my heel, changed to SC Trainer and had no additional feet problems – but the blisters were genuinely painful.
Why did I quit?
It was 5am, and I didn’t think it was worth trying to make it to sunrise at 7:05. I was in pain and didn’t fancy taking more opioids (Palexia was all I had left that I could find), my gut was starting to think about maybe playing up, my original goal pre-injury was 15 laps, my longest previous run before was 53km, my wife had been crewing for 12 straight hours and seemed disappointed when I went out for one of my final laps (she was telling people I was about to quit from lap 11). I became worried I was going to be permanently injuring my Achilles / rupture it… but, yes, I could have kept going if I needed to.
Post race
Went home, showered, slept for 2hours.
Been in constant pain since.
My ankle has swollen and continued to swell since, and I can’t really bend it still, which means I can’t walk anywhere near properly. It got worse from straight after the race Saturday morning, through to Monday, and is now getting better again (Tuesday) and is similar to how it looked on Sunday, but with a bit more mobility.
Statistics from Garmin
· 142 average HR (my max is about 200)
· 9:49hours run, 5:00 walk, 2:12 rest
· 660 exercise load
· 492m ascent (491 descent).
Overall
A great race – if my Achilles is healed up, I’ll be back next year – hopefully with the sole target of timing out on a lap and not stopping until then.
I’m happy with how I performed, originally, I was a touch bummed I “couldn’t be bothered” pushing through when I was still making laps with 7 minutes to spare… but, given how swollen my ankle is three days later I know I made the right call to stop (and probably should have done so earlier!)… and, like I said, wifey had crewed all through the night for 12 straight hours already, so it was time to go.
For next year, I think I’ll try to find some people to crew me until midnight or something, then have wifey come down for the 1am lap, instead of being there from 4pm or 5pm.
I think I need to skip my next planned A race – the Adelaide marathon - to give me Achillies time to heal properly.
Packing list (x denotes I didn’t use at least one instance of this item)
Running shirts x3 (only used the pair I wore there)
Thermal trousers (x)
Thermal top x2
Undies (x)
Thick running socks
Thin running socks (x)
Dressing gown
Soap (x)
Towels x2
Ice
Esky
Table (1.8m – absolutely necessary)
Good chair
Running vest
Running belt (x)
Soft flasks x2
400ml mt franklin (x)
750ml water bottle
Gels
Sports bars (x!)
Drink mix
Tailwind
Powerade x2
Ventolin
Atrovent (x)
Celecoxib
Portable battery
Garmin cable
Usb cables
Ugg boots
10L water box
Cramp fix
Blister bandaids
Ankle strapping for blisters
Tweezers (x)
Nail clippers (x)
Hoody (x)
Running jacket x2 (x)
Gloves x2 (x – but did put a pair into my vest and very almost wore them)
Drugs
Toothbrush and paste
Cohesive bandage (x – but in vest for emergencies)
Chewies
Headlamp
6xAAA batteries – should have brought 9, but it was fine.
Buff
Toilet paper (x, but in vest)
Tissues
Running shorts x2 (only used the pair I wore there)
Running tights x2 (only used the pair I wore there)
Rubbish bags
Headphones (x)
Phone
House keys
Superblast
RC elite v2
SC trainer
Speedgoat 5 (X)
Beanie (x)
Vegemite sandwich x2 - crustless
Peanut butter sandwich x2 – crustless
Bananas
Salomon speedcup
Sticky tape (x)
Scissors
Killer python x16
Tape for bandages (x)
Suncream (x)
Hat x2
Compression shorts x2 (only used the pair I wore there)
Small crisps x4
Vaseline (only what I put on pre-race)
Tea-towel (x)
Pens
Paper
Torch (x)
Handwash (x)
Snake bandage (x)
Floss (x)
Deodorant (x)
Explorer socks
Charger (x)
Hand sanitizer
Beach cart
Asked wife to bring after it started:
Chicken crimpys
Massage gun
Sleeping bag to be kept in car, just incase (x)
Race Day Pics
https://ibb.co/j4sKNQ0 https://ibb.co/cwvfnYr https://ibb.co/s3VxHfB
Ankle pics Saturday 630am
https://ibb.co/p492wcL https://ibb.co/CtQDC81
Ankle pics Sunday / Monday
https://ibb.co/Gkgtw2p https://ibb.co/C76GfvR https://ibb.co/C0TWPcH https://ibb.co/sJCSt9t
Garmin pics https://ibb.co/GVtmBBN https://ibb.co/yBt3zVZ

PILOT

*Caine
*Bubble
*Gangle
*Zooble
*Kinger
*Ragatha
*Jax
*Kaufmo
*Pomni
*Gloink Queen
*Dr. Football
*Queenie
*Abstracted Orange Dog
*Abstracted Worm On A String
*Abstracted Purple Dino
*Abstracted FrownClown
*Abstracted Pink Cyclops
*Abstracted Cartoony Wizard With No Jace
*Abstracted Unibrow eyeless bird
*Abstracted Polka-Dotted Clown Thing
*Abstracted SockPuppet
*25 Gloinks
*9 Mannequins(Exclusion of Dr. Football due to having they're own name)
*4 Barrel Monkeys
*4 Fish

Candy Carrier Chaos!

*Gummigoo
*Princess Loolilalu
*Max
*Chad
*The Fudge Monster
*Gummigoo's Mother
*Additional Voices
*1 Gummy Elephant
*1000+ Candy Mannequin Townfolks(Exclusion of Additional Voices due to having his own name)
*Candy Butterfly

TheWackyWatch.Com

*Jack

POMNI WAKE UP TIME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE

*Jeffery

Kinger With a Shotgun

*Martha Mildenhall
*Seal-like Ghost
*Tape Recorder(Only Presumably in KWAS)

Minimum Wage Labor

*Orbsman

Production Comics

*The Bone Pastor
*Pomni's Mother

Promotion

*Meatlad

Concept Art

*Butterfly Noodle
*Bald Doll
*Squidgy Baby
*Wine Demon
*Figure From Doors but he has 2 eyes
*Poorly-drawn Bert from Sesame-Streets
*Fat Demon
*Paper Thing
*SockPuppet
*Long Nosed Kaufmo-Mouthed Button-eyed Bubble
*Smug Clown

Social Media Posts

*Paine
*Rib Toast Fucker

I cannot remember the name of a duck cartoon from the 90s. Please help
I regularly reminisce about cartoons is used to watch when I was a kid. I used to watch A LOT of cartoons in the 90s, so many that I forgot the names of some (primarily the ones I only saw one or two episodes of). No duh, am I right? regardless, there is this one cartoon I that has really bothering that I can't remember what it was no matter how hard I have tried. It was about ducks. I am familiar with most of the duck cartoons from the 90s like Ducktales, Mighty Ducks cartoon, Quack Pack, etc. But there was this one that only one scene from. The scene showed an oddly colored duck (purple I think) holding some kind of artifact and it made him grow muscular and called out something like "I'm getting stronger!" in an evil sort way. I think his eyes turned red too. Then I think it cuts to him having an argument with a female duck whom was taking a bubble bath. He grabbed her rubber duck (ironic I know) and crushed it in his hand. The female duck appeared somewhat anger at him for it. That is all I remember. This was not an adult cartoon to my knowledge, as it appeared to be a kids cartoon. Its art style was similar to 90s Disney, duck cartoons, but I'm sure it was not from Disney. It may have been from Fox Kids, but that's just a guess. Also all the ducks did not seem to be wearing clothes, which was common for cartoons such as these. I cannot remember what cartoon it was and I would really like to know. I do a lot of research on cartoons and this one seemed quite interesting. If anyone has any clues as to what it is, I would greatly appreciate it.

Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger.
First < Previous Next >

Chapter 02

-1-
Roland cursed under his breath as he trudged down the muddy path toward Lord Theodore's manor. The late early morning sun cast long shadows, painting the desolate landscape in an even bleaker light.
Why was it only him who had to deal with Lord Theodore's bullshit? Just last night, Roland had to take care of all the complaints from the bar he'd found Lord Theodore at. Not to mention, he had to pay compensation to the wenches from his own personal funds.
And that wasn't even half the things he'd done yesterday alone.
After all, Lord Theodore was either busy abusing his power and bullying the people of the town, gambling, drinking, getting wasted with his face stuck up a prostitute, or doing his fourth favorite activity which, naturally, was a combination of the latter three. The man wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't quite dumb enough to avoid dealing with the problems the town of Holden faced.
Roland shook his head when he made it to the estate gates. As expected, there were guards, servants, and soldiers dashing left and right, but he was ignored. It was time to beg Lord Theodore to attend to his duties. None dared stop him, for he was a [Knight] appointed to Lord Theodore by his father—Lord Alexander Lockheart—and an acting advisor while said lord was being, well, his usual idiotic and selfish self.
So, Roland did what he had to; he moved past them all, and made for Lord Theodore's sleeping quarters where a handful of maids were all fussing about like hens with their heads chopped off.
Lord Theodore's quarters were not large by noble standards, but impressive all the same. Lavish and gaudy, just as he expected. Tapestries and drapes were hung up high all about the walls, and on the ground, there were expensive fur carpets.
After moving past the maids and butlers who were currently shuffling about like a horde of ants whose nest was threatened by a boar, he stopped before a silk drape that barred the way to Lord Theodore's bedchambers.
"Lord Theodore," he called.
Silence.
"Lord Theodore?"
Nothing.
Feeling a little annoyed, Roland frowned. "Lord Theodore," he called again. "With all due respect, are you presently attired?"
Nothing but a muffled sound came from the other side. Roland grimaced, and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation before dropping his hand and tugging the curtain aside. The inside of the bedchamber wasn't much to look at. Just your average nobleman's bedroom with a canopy bed big enough to fit twelve women side-by-side.
Most did, in fact, do just that.
A bookshelf stood on each wall, and at the far end was another drape that led to an enclosed balcony where he had the gall to throw his used clothes through during summer.
"Greetings, my lord," Roland said.
Lord Theodore, however, didn't answer.
He sat in front of a full-length mirror on the dresser. He had this listless sort of look, like he just didn't know how to deal with things. It wasn't an expression he'd ever seen on the man's face.
"Lord Theodore, are you well?" Roland inquired, a sliver of unease creeping into his voice. Though he found the young lord childish—given he was barely eighteen years old—Lord Theodore was his responsibility. He'd been Roland's responsibility when he was a little brat, and even now.
Theodore gave a startled response. "Ah, Roland? Yes, I am quite well."
"My lord, with all due respect, I implore you to be truthful. Has something transpired?"
Roland was anxious now. While he harbored no particular fondness for Lord Theodore, a sworn oath bound him to protect and care for the Baron. Granted, his master, Lord Theodore's own father, had afforded him considerable autonomy within Holden's borders—heck, he could even go as far as beating up Lord Theodore without consequences, if Roland deemed it reasonable and necessary—but his code of honor held oaths sacred. The son of the house Varian would rather lose an arm and his birthright than break a single [Oath] made.
"No, truly, I'm fine."
"If that is the case," Roland acknowledged with a curt nod, "then I bear news."
Lord Theodore furrowed his brow. "Good news, I trust?"
"I'm afraid not," Roland sighed. "Yesterday, our patrol in the Deadwoods encountered a band of brigands...…"
Lord Theodore's frown deepened. "While banditry is a common occurrence, it often heralds further troubles. Elaborate, Roland."
"Indeed, my lord," Roland continued, "these brigands weren't merely causing a ruckus. Apparently, they were engaged in combat with a rather formidable creature, vaguely humanoid in form."
Lord Theodore's posture stiffened. "Vaguely humanoid? Can you provide further details?"
Roland shook his head. "Limited information, I'm afraid. Only reports of unnatural speed reached our ears; it appeared to be engaged with wolves. Both fled upon human-contact, however."
Lord Theodore stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Did our men prevail against the brigands? And this creature—surely Captain..." he paused, searching for the man's name.
"Thomas," Roland supplied.
"Ah, yes, Thomas. Holden is geographically close to the Deadwoods. Sir Thomas wouldn't simply abandon such a threat near the bordertowns, would he? He and I may not see eye to eye on certain matters, but... surely he wouldn't leave such a threat unaddressed." Lord Theodore said.
Roland hesitated. "Captain Thomas chose to bypass us and directly inform the Crown of their discovery. He remained tight-lipped regarding specifics despite repeated inquiries."
Lord Theodore hummed thoughtfully. "If Thomas deems it worthy of the Crown's attention, then it surpasses our jurisdiction. Let's hope for their swift and decisive action. What of the brigands? Eliminated, I presume?"
"So it seems," Roland replied. "All but one met their demise. The sole survivor remains in a cell, though maddened beyond reason."
"I see. Is that for now?" Lord Theodore leaned back in his chair.
"Not quite, my lord. We've had a recent outbreak of the Blight, and we suspect it was an intentional spread. Unfortunately, the culprit remains unidentified."
Theodore's expression morphed into one of genuine shock. "Are these two seemingly unrelated issues connected, perhaps?" He asked.
"It appears to be the case, my lord." A sigh escaped Roland's lips. The Blight—a magical sickness that eats away at your life force, causes lethargy, nausea, and kills you, all while your body radiates a pervasive foul odor. It had recently taken hold on a few people of Holden. Why or how, Roland did not know.
"Those afflicted have been quarantined in a secure location far from Holden to prevent further contagion. Our physicians are doing their utmost to manage them. However, several have died already, and the remaining victims exhibit signs of feral behavior—meaning, they have already entered the late stage, I'm afraid. It's become imperative that they remain under quarantine, lest they either bite other humans—given there's hunger for raw flesh in the late stage—or they could infect the crops, causing them to decay. Consequently, the farmers, understandably anxious, have retreated into their homes."
They were likely waiting for their lord, incompetent as he may be, to deal with the situation. Yet, he had his hand up a wench's skirt more than actually trying to fix the issues... What can I do with him? Roland sighed.
Lord Theodore rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Roland."
"Yes, my lord?"
"Do you think the Merchant Guild would let me have another loan?"
Roland's lips thinned into a line, but he shook his head. "Regrettably, my lord, they would not. The Merchants' Guild has been cautious lately. There was this whole unpleasant affair with a prominent [Merchant Lord] named Bertram, you might know the name. Used to flaunt more gold jewelry than some of the highborn nobles. Turns out, he was embezzling.
"Apparently, he manipulated the Guild's books for months. Inflated trade contracts with nonexistent suppliers from faraway lands, siphoned off the extra profit into his own pockets. Clever, gotta give him that. Even forged shipping manifests to keep it all looking legit.
"Nasty business, that. Apparently, the esteemed Lord Bertram decided a little vacation was in order after everything, and wouldn't you know it, he packed a rather hefty sum from the Guild's coffers along for the ride as well. We're talking a near royal-wedding-sized dowry here, my lord. Vanished, all of it.
"The details are still murky, but rumor has it Bertram might have gotten tangled with pirates operating from the Broken Isles. One of the [Pirate Kings], perhaps—or most likely. So, the Merchants' Guild has been refraining from giving out loans. And, my apologies to say this, my lord, but you're a high-risk individual, and you already have quite the debt with them... They wouldn't want to give more."
Lord Theodore already had a mountain of debt on his name... The interest rate was more than what Lord Theodore could pay off even if the crops did better than planned. Given that the Adventurers' Guild of this sector had been rather short on manpower lately due to a dungeon incursion in the town, Corinth, lying beside theirs and given that Lord Theodore had a tendency for tax evasion and then laundering… Yeah, they were royally fucked. Even if in this situation, Lord Theodore wanted a loan for himself... Roland just gave up. Maybe it was time to return to his master, Lord Theodore's father, and just ask him to appoint him somewhere else—he couldn't deal with this scumbag anymore, not in his current state.
"I see, they wouldn't. Not surprising. It seems I'm going to have to hire a [Necromancer] by my lonesome."
Roland blinked. "That's..." a shock, Roland stopped himself from saying. [Necromancers] cost a hefty sum, and given that Lord Theodore was already under debt and likely the financial situation of Holden was anything but optimal, hiring a [Necromancer] would've put a huge dent in Holden's already meager reserves. However, Roland hadn't imagined, not in his wildest dreams, that Lord Theodore would be employing one by his lonesome.
Throughout his life, Roland had known this man to not even spare a thought to anything that wasn't his immediate self-gratification, or his amusement and satisfaction. How was the wastrel noble suddenly going to change?
"My lord, my apologies for asking, but why do you require a [Necromancer's] assistance?" Roland finally asked, schooling his shocked expression.
"Oh, I have some... theories regarding the Blight." Lord Theodore grinned. "And a [Necromancer] might just be someone who we need in order to solve this problem once and for all."
Roland was shocked to his core, once more. "But, my lord, the treatment for the Blight isn't something common folk can afford? So, how...?"
"Nonsense, Roland. Forget that rudimentary concoction they peddle as a cure. I envision a more... permanent solution. Issue a commission at the Adventurers' Guild—a [Necromancer] or perhaps a [Witch], their talents are equally suited for this task."
"Yes, my lord." Roland bowed, failing to comprehend what Lord Theodore was planning on doing.
-2-
When Roland left, Ethan found it easier to relax. The stiff, aristocratic manners these people employed were rather annoying to bear with. No, they were rather hard to imitate, more accurately. Because despite his efforts, he'd still found it hard to match their ways, but it was doable. Not good enough, yet, but doable.
"How should I, going forward, act, then?" he muttered. "Because if I've understood a single thing, it is this: Theo's character as I know it now will ruin any chance of me, well, earning anything, be that respect, wealth, power, or all three. Should I continue as him, then, or completely overhaul Theodore's character and pretend it's some epiphany? A spiritual enlightenment, perhaps?"
Ethan shook his head. Whatever it may be, he wasn't planning on being like Theo. Let's go with a gradual change in mannerism.
First, however, he needed to deal with the Blight issue. Which would be easily dealt with—all he had to do was pay the [Necromancer], or [Witch], from his own pouch. Then, he needed to figure out this town's financial status and everything else in order to organize a working infrastructure and create new financial opportunities. Afterwards, he could move onto his 'character', if that is indeed what his situation required. There's a lot to do.
Before everything, however, a bath.
After all, he reeked of sweat and alcohol, among other not-so pleasant scents.
...
It took no more than a few minutes for a handful of servants to prepare the bath. Hot water steamed inside the spacious tub as soap bubbles glistened—soap that was far too expensive for the common folk. Despite being a luxury, its quality was arguably trash. Regardless, this was all the people had in this world. A strong scent of lavender permeated the air and tickled his nose as he undressed. A few maids had prepared for his comfort and placed a silken bathrobe alongside a set of towels on a small table near the bathtub before he'd dismissed them, ordering them to inform the kitchen staff that he would like his meal soon.
Ethan relaxed his shoulders, took the robe with one hand, and tossed it carelessly nearby. It was fine silk. Ethan shook his head before proceeding with an easy grace into the water. It was hot. Yet, Ethan felt rather cold, despite the heat. It helped him relax, and with it, the stiff persona that was Lord Theodore faded.
Ethan sank deeper, letting his long blond locks loose. A quick thought made him bring his hand forward. What if... he could make a fire? Just a little one, like a candle flame. How cool would that be? He focused, willing a tiny spark to appear on his fingertip. Nothing. Just a sputter and a fizzle.
"Hmm," he mumbled, undeterred. "Maybe I need to practice."
He doubted it was just understanding. After all, the skill [Elemental Spells] had given him the barest hints of the basics of how to create a basic spark of flame. He lacked control over mana. [Magic Perception] allowed him to view his mana—flowing, fast-moving streams and spiraling, coiling vortexes. It was chaotic; it was a mess! Maybe if he calmed it down, he could actually make something happen?
Easier said than done, he quickly learned. When he moved it, it took no less effort than bending metal with brute force. The feeling was there, and the will, too. Just the act of 'moving' it alone was a herculean effort. It seemed nigh impossible.
Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
Humming, Ethan looked through the snippets of memories he'd gotten from Theodore. The memories, he found, weren't entirely useless; as his mind drifted back and forth from those flashes, he did remember something Theodore had seen last night... There! A memory from last night—a drunk mage at the bar, showing off with a fireball for some girl who didn't seem too impressed.
"Let's see how that trick works," Ethan grinned.
With [Magic Perception], he saw how the spell flowed. The "spell" was, in a way, forced outwards into reality through the use of symbols he quickly recognized as runes—at least that was what he assumed after seeing the fireball.
Ethan could easily recall the shape of the rune that'd appeared before the fire took form on top of the mage's hand.
I'm pretty sure it's not possible to view runes. I assume, at least, from what little fragments of memories I got from Theo. Anyway, let's move my mana in the shape, then.
He imagined the shape on top of his hand and willed the mana to pour into it. Soon, rune motes started forming out of thin air, ripping into reality. Forming into a shape he willed, a rune burned brightly and loudly atop his palm. As he drew his hand forward, flames burst into life, flickering before fizzling out.
[Basic Magic Script] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Basic Rune Creation]!
"Whoa." Ethan stared at his hand, a wide grin splitting his face. So that's how it works! Runes, huh? That's awesome! Ethan felt like a child again. He couldn't wait to try again, this time with a smaller flame, as it appeared that a fireball was far too much for his lacking skill and control. Magic... it was epic stuff!
Before that, however, he looked at the new skill he'd gained.
~Basic Rune Creation – Level 1~
Type: Active
Effect: You have grasped the fundamental concept of using runes to channel and shape your mana for basic magical effects. The Connection between two of your skill—[Magic Perception] and [Basic Magic Script]—has resulted in the creation of a new skill. You can now create simple runes that allow for the manipulation of elemental energy on a small scale. As your skill level increases, you will be able to create more complex runes, allowing for more powerful and versatile spells. You may also learn to combine runes for even greater magical effects.
Ethan stared. Reading the description was a quick matter of concentration. It took him by surprise, however, when he realized it. Rune creation? Huh. Does that mean I can create anything? The thought alone was exciting. What about rune motes? Rune motes were fragments of runes, combining certain fragments could result in a full rune. I saw them congregating into the shape of a rune, but is it possible to just create rune motes and not a full rune? I should try.
Regardless of his thoughts, it was creation—
—and Ethan loved creation. Even as a child, he had never gotten tired of tinkering with things. He still recalled the time he'd gotten his first Lego set. Just putting random pieces together with no thought for a bigger picture—he'd loved that. He'd loved doing all sorts of stuff with Legos, creating different castles or other complex structures, but it was building something completely random and ridiculous, yet unique nonetheless, which gave him the most sense of satisfaction. It was fun. It was a hobby—a hobby that ignited in him a fire of passion for innovation.
It was then the thought of being a civil engineer had sprung up in his mind. To put it simply, a civil engineer is responsible for planning, designing, and constructing buildings. Though, that was just a general term. Ethan would have been perfectly happy had he chosen that. Unfortunately, his father had wanted him to become a boxer, instead.
The man wanted to become one himself in his prime, but due to health issues, he'd quit right before making it to a big league. He'd hoped his son would achieve what he couldn't and bring victory for the family. Even though Ethan hadn't exactly planned boxing as his future, but who could refuse the pressure his old man put on him? Especially when he'd been just a little boy?
It was another matter entirely that Ethan fell in love with boxing, too, as it made him feel alive. The sensation of a punching bag slamming against his fists? Nothing quite made his blood boil like that.
And oh, fighting in the ring. There was just something about the sport Ethan couldn't resist.
Something about creation, fighting, and experiencing a bit of both, had Ethan wishing he could try the other options that lay in front of him now.
Could he make a real spaceship, in this world?
It sounded silly as fuck and he knew it. Nonetheless, the temptation was still there, hovering and nagging at the edge of his mind, as ridiculous as his previous thoughts might have been.
Spaceships are cool, dammit.
That thought suddenly gave Ethan pause. "Let's just return to practice."
This time, fire flickered atop his fingertips for a second longer.
Another second was added on top of that after his third try.
The light was dim. However, it did mean something: improvement.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Grinning like an idiot, Ethan sank deeper into the hot bath water and brought his other hand up to repeat the exercise for the next half an hour or so, occasionally reading a notification that would come every now and then.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 2 -> Lvl 3!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 3 -> Lvl 4!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 4 -> Lvl 5!
But no matter what, he couldn't get it to level up to level 6, nor could he level up [Basic Magic Script] from level 2 to 3.
Why not, though? I'm doing—
"Don't rush," he chided himself. "Your control is pitiful, shaping is trash, and your spellcasting is akin to tossing stones into the sea without even knowing how to make it bounce—guesswork is all you are, but it's a good start, I suppose."
As he set a handful of candle-like flames afloat on all five of his fingers, his lips quirked into a wide smirk. It was only a party trick. For now, that is. I need to find more about magic and learn. I've been winging it.
That was true; he didn't understand anything about magic. All he'd done so far was try to emulate the rune he'd seen in the memory snippet through the help of [Magic Perception] and cast a few party tricks. Was that impressive? He had literally no comparison to base off of, thus why he knew he needed to learn more.
Theodore's memories proved to be useless in this regard, too. His father hadn't found him worthy enough to be assigned a mage as a tutor. Theodore was a disappointment through and through, and that's why he'd been sent to rule the bordertowns.
He could cast the spell, yes, but he didn't understand the underlying concepts that fueled the magic or what the process was.
-3-
Ethan descended down the stairs that would lead him to the dining room where breakfast had already been laid out for him. Two maids were present as well. It was a feast of the likes he'd only ever read in fairy tales. Fried, scrambled, boiled eggs. Different shapes, sizes, and cuts. Cakes and pies in varying quantities and sizes. Grilled meat, smoked and salted. How could he ever eat everything alone?
Ethan exhaled and then dove in; however, he still maintained decorum as it was imperative to do so given that he was a noble now. Regardless, once done, he made it to the meeting room given that he had some people to meet today.
"Barely breaking even," Ethan muttered, flicking the parchment in his hand. He frowned at the financial situation of Holden, the town he was in charge of. The bordertowns consisted of a series of towns lying on the periphery of the borders. Each town was a barony in name, and nobles—especially troublesome nobles—were often sent here to practice ruling and to make them accustomed to how the common folk lived, so they could empathize with the people they ruled.
With how many bandits the region had had lately, the Blight, debt, tax, and interest that'd ramped up, Ethan's current situation was mind-fucking at best and a keg waiting to explode at worst.
I don't want to deal with Theo's issues.
Not only was this whole situation something Ethan did not want in the slightest, a whole can of worms that were Theo's problems was thrust into his hands. Ethan had held no fantasies of getting isekai'd. That was suicide in his books. He'd have been more than happy to die and meet oblivion. But now that he was here…
Leaning back into his chair, Ethan rubbed his eyes. Yeah, he needed to deal with everything and make the best of his situation to live a comfortable life. When Roland returned with a man in tow, Ethan hummed.
The man was young, younger than Roland, even. Black hair and sharp green eyes. He held himself high with confidence and Ethan recognized him instantly. Isn't he that mage from the bar?
"My lord," Roland bowed. "I have brought a [Necromancer] as per your command."
The [Necromancer] bowed and with a thin smile said, "Pleased to be at your service, my lord. The name's Jack."
Hm. So he wasn't a mage but a [Necromancer].
"Likewise," Ethan replied with a nod, then leaned forward, smiling. "Say, Jack, would you like to be part of a business opportunity?
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