Bledsoe mutual funds case
Passive Indexing Community for Long-Term Lazy Investors
2011.05.09 05:00 misnamed Passive Indexing Community for Long-Term Lazy Investors
Bogleheads are passive investors who follow Jack Bogle's simple but powerful message to diversify with low-cost index funds and let compounding grow wealth. Jack founded Vanguard and pioneered indexed mutual funds. His work has since inspired others to get the most out of their long-term investments. Active managers want your money - our advice: keep it! How? Investing in broad-market low-cost indexes, diversified between equities and fixed income. Buy, hold, pay low fees, and stay the course!
2009.10.09 19:33 Share, Compare & Improve Long-Term Investment Portfolio Strategies
Get (and give!) advice on investment portfolios and financial planning goals for retirement (401k, Roth, IRA, HSA) and taxable investing accounts, particularly stock and bond mutual funds and ETFs - learn tips for tax efficiency and other account optimization strategies. This is a great place for beginner and advanced investors to share knowledge! NOTE: please include the names of funds in your post, not just the tickers (we don't have those all memorized!).
2024.05.21 18:57 CholaPeroBonita Seeking Career Guidance and Support: 3+ Years on This SWE Journey
Hi, all! š
Now, I guess Iāll get right into my reason for posting this: Iād love some advice/insight/thoughts from yāall on recommendations for my next steps in this career transition towards software development because Iāve been struggling for awhile with finding a FT or even PT role.
Throughout this time, my mental health has also declined greatly (while on this journey, Iāve actually started antidepressant medication for the first time ever because my mental health has exponentially decreased, and have also seen a few different therapists in the same span of time).
Undergrad Education (2015 - 2019): I am a first-gen college grad and earned a bachelors in biochem & environmental science summer 2019. I discovered computer science during my junior year of college (by then, it was too late to take more courses in CS let alone attempt to make a switch without staying an extra year, which my scholarships would not cover). After graduating college, I was still interested in learning more about CS, so I took an Introduction to Programming in C course at my local community college, and not only earned an A, but also thoroughly enjoyed the content.
Grad School (Spring 2022): Enrolled in an online Masters in CS at Case Western Reserve University for those without CS degrees with a $30,000 grant from the dept. Took Discrete Mathematics and Algorithms & Data Structures in Java (those of us w/o a CS degree had to pass these before being able to move into the rest of the program where weād be merged with those who DID have CS degrees), but paused due to my younger brother's unexpected passing.
Bootcamp (Fall 2022): Received a full-ride scholarship to a bootcamp (1/15 out of 1200 applicants accepted) where I learned full-stack development with Python, JavaScript, SQL, Flask, AJAX, and React, among other technologies. Graduated December 2022.
Further Learning (Spring/Summer 2023): Accepted into Code the Dreamās React course, dedicating over 20 hours per week to mastering React all while volunteering to work on open-source projects.
Internship (Fall 2023 - Present): I was interning at an early-stage Ed Tech startup up until the end of April, contributing to building an app from the ground up. I Gained experience in code writing/reviewing, CI/CD methodology, technical communication, and working on a software development team along with other teams like the content team and design team.
With regards to the startup, theyāve informed me that they do not have sufficient funding to bring me on. Furthermore, about a month after the internship contract officially ended, the other female intern (graduated from the same bootcamp, although different cohorts) at the startup also let me know that she was being brought on again for an extended contract, and asked if I was offered the sameāto which I replied that no, I wasnāt. I guess she also has an associates in CS, which also helps and I am not mad at her for anything and support her and uplift her, but as you can imagine, I am a little disappointed (more in myself than anything, I guess). It just makes me feel a bit crushed. I made myself always available (even after hours), replied quickly, got along super well with everyone, got my tasks all done for the most part. ==> Towards the end, I was tasked with a particularly difficult task, and was able to get through a good chunk of a new game, but was not able to fully finish. During this period, I was also struggling to get ahold of my ADHD meds, but they seemed to be out of stock everywhere, so that also didn't help.
I know that my math skills probably arenāt on par with those of others in the field, and I know that I need to work on those as well, so if you have any suggestions for free resources for that/what I should focus on with regards to teaching myself these concepts Iād also really appreciate it. I'm currently taking the Harvard CS50 course for credit as well as a Mathematics for Machine Learning course on Coursera (they state that this is for people of all math levels).
Iāve learned a lot and am passionate about continuing to grow as a software engineedeveloper. Any advice on next steps, opportunities, etc. that you feel may be relevant would be greatly appreciated. Thank you SO much if you read this far! š«¶
submitted by CholaPeroBonita to girlsgonewired [link] [comments]
Intro/Question:
Let me just start out by saying that Iāve been on here for a little while and have admired not only the persistence, dedication, and grit of the women on here, but also the kindness and support in comparison to other groups. I wish I could give/get hugs from you all because a lot of you seem like such wonderful people, and I could really use some of that kindness in my life at the moment.Now, I guess Iāll get right into my reason for posting this: Iād love some advice/insight/thoughts from yāall on recommendations for my next steps in this career transition towards software development because Iāve been struggling for awhile with finding a FT or even PT role.
Throughout this time, my mental health has also declined greatly (while on this journey, Iāve actually started antidepressant medication for the first time ever because my mental health has exponentially decreased, and have also seen a few different therapists in the same span of time).
VERY brief overview of my journey thus far:
Early Education: Growing up in a predominantly white community outside the main city, I was put into ESL classes despite being born in the U.S. I'm Latina, and my parents--who knew little English at the time--agreed with everything the educators suggested. This meant I was often taken out of critical science and math classes to make time for ESL work. Despite being a straight-A student, I had to work harder than others, and I believe this was one reason why.About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with combined ADD/ADHD. As a kid, it often took me longer to complete my work. My parents noticed but assumed it was just the way I functioned. My mom often recounted how I needed a "million" breaks while doing homework, which often led to late nights. Despite these struggles, I managed to stay on top of my studies.Undergrad Education (2015 - 2019): I am a first-gen college grad and earned a bachelors in biochem & environmental science summer 2019. I discovered computer science during my junior year of college (by then, it was too late to take more courses in CS let alone attempt to make a switch without staying an extra year, which my scholarships would not cover). After graduating college, I was still interested in learning more about CS, so I took an Introduction to Programming in C course at my local community college, and not only earned an A, but also thoroughly enjoyed the content.
Grad School (Spring 2022): Enrolled in an online Masters in CS at Case Western Reserve University for those without CS degrees with a $30,000 grant from the dept. Took Discrete Mathematics and Algorithms & Data Structures in Java (those of us w/o a CS degree had to pass these before being able to move into the rest of the program where weād be merged with those who DID have CS degrees), but paused due to my younger brother's unexpected passing.
Bootcamp (Fall 2022): Received a full-ride scholarship to a bootcamp (1/15 out of 1200 applicants accepted) where I learned full-stack development with Python, JavaScript, SQL, Flask, AJAX, and React, among other technologies. Graduated December 2022.
Further Learning (Spring/Summer 2023): Accepted into Code the Dreamās React course, dedicating over 20 hours per week to mastering React all while volunteering to work on open-source projects.
Internship (Fall 2023 - Present): I was interning at an early-stage Ed Tech startup up until the end of April, contributing to building an app from the ground up. I Gained experience in code writing/reviewing, CI/CD methodology, technical communication, and working on a software development team along with other teams like the content team and design team.
Struggles/Thoughts:
I have been consistently applying for FT/PT roles, internships, etc. with nothing but maybe 4 interviews since graduating from my bootcamp. In addition, Iāve been tweaking my resume for jobs that I feel I could be a particularly good candidate for using Jobscan with no luck.With regards to the startup, theyāve informed me that they do not have sufficient funding to bring me on. Furthermore, about a month after the internship contract officially ended, the other female intern (graduated from the same bootcamp, although different cohorts) at the startup also let me know that she was being brought on again for an extended contract, and asked if I was offered the sameāto which I replied that no, I wasnāt. I guess she also has an associates in CS, which also helps and I am not mad at her for anything and support her and uplift her, but as you can imagine, I am a little disappointed (more in myself than anything, I guess). It just makes me feel a bit crushed. I made myself always available (even after hours), replied quickly, got along super well with everyone, got my tasks all done for the most part. ==> Towards the end, I was tasked with a particularly difficult task, and was able to get through a good chunk of a new game, but was not able to fully finish. During this period, I was also struggling to get ahold of my ADHD meds, but they seemed to be out of stock everywhere, so that also didn't help.
Next steps:
Iām debating whether I should just keep applying, find some other program (AS/BS/MS), or just stop this trajectory altogether (although, I REALLY hope that I wonāt have to because it would probably break me š).I know that my math skills probably arenāt on par with those of others in the field, and I know that I need to work on those as well, so if you have any suggestions for free resources for that/what I should focus on with regards to teaching myself these concepts Iād also really appreciate it. I'm currently taking the Harvard CS50 course for credit as well as a Mathematics for Machine Learning course on Coursera (they state that this is for people of all math levels).
Iāve learned a lot and am passionate about continuing to grow as a software engineedeveloper. Any advice on next steps, opportunities, etc. that you feel may be relevant would be greatly appreciated. Thank you SO much if you read this far! š«¶
2024.05.21 18:51 TypicalInitial7914 This is why we Screenshot images so we have receipts when they try to Gaslight us.
 | submitted by TypicalInitial7914 to u/TypicalInitial7914 [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 18:40 Far-War-3804 B030 U.S. ARMY CYBER COMMAND SOURCES have yet to FORENSICALLY DETERMINE whether āDARK BRANDONā was an IMPOSTER-BODY DOUBLE, DOPPELGANGER, CLONE, or HOLOGRAM. If it was THE GENUINE SLEEPY JOE, he was THWACKED OUT of his PEDOPHILIC MIND on ADRENOCHROME during the State of the UNION ADDRESS. March 8,
 | https://preview.redd.it/pkbjmwn85t1d1.png?width=1089&format=png&auto=webp&s=030fedebb4d26059f0ac80f1d068ca7c3adeb255 submitted by Far-War-3804 to CourtofAges [link] [comments] B030 U.S. ARMY CYBER COMMAND SOURCES have yet to FORENSICALLY DETERMINE whether āDARK BRANDONā was an IMPOSTER-BODY DOUBLE, DOPPELGANGER, CLONE, or HOLOGRAM. If it was THE GENUINE SLEEPY JOE, he was THWACKED OUT of his PEDOPHILIC MIND on ADRENOCHROME during the State of the UNION ADDRESS. March 8, 2024. U.S. Army Cyber Command sources have yet to forensically determine whether last nightās āDark Brandonā was an imposterābody double, doppelganger, clone, or hologram. However, they expressed certainty over one thing: if it was the genuine Sleepy Joe, he was thwacked out of his pedophilic mind on Adrenochrome during the State of the Union Address. Seemingly and uncharacteristically replete with vim and vigor, Joe attacked the legitimate president, Donald J. Trump, a dozen times without naming him, labeling him a Russian stooge and enemy of democracy. He also dwelt on Ukraine, imploring lawmakers in the audience to lavishly fund Zelenskyy, an act that would further bankrupt the U.S. and deplete the countryās military arsenal. Moreover, Joe lied about looking to end hostilities in the Middle East. He has been playing both sides of the fence, vigorously funding Israel while promising to ship provisions to Gaza, and he is fearful of alienating Zionist and Muslim support. The MSM and liberal commentators called his speech triumphant, a victory lap. Joeās fiery performance, they said, proves beyond all doubt that he, despite his age, is ready and capable of helming the United States for the next four yearsāand defeating Trump in the 2024 election. The White Hats at ARCYBER, on the other hand, believe the country saw an illusionāone of Bidenās five known body doubles, a freshly hatched clone, or the real deal, a well-rested Biden fueled by copious amounts of Adrenochrome coursing through his varicose veins. RRN has previously chronicled Bidenās Adrenochrome addiction. In April 2021, a Secret Service agent assigned to the Bidensā Delaware home witnessed Jill administering an Adrenochrome infusion to her bedridden, emaciated husband. The cocktail infused him with energy: he sprang out of bed, danced a little jig, and thanked Jill and his personal physician for the ācandy,ā Bidenās word for Adrenochrome. Some sources claim Biden has been taking Adrenochrome injections and infusions since the 1990s, but RRN hasnāt seen proof to substantiate that assertion. Nonetheless, the pharmaceutical concoctionās properties are well-established; it temporarily bestows extraordinary strength, mental alacrity, and acuity, and, allegedly, heightened sexual prowess and virality. Its side effects are devastating. Adrenochrome is immediately addictive, more so than heroin and crack. It gives diminishing returns: The more one takes, the more one needs to sustain the high. Withdrawal symptoms include schizoid psychosis and unrelenting rage, followed, in some cases, by intense malaise and systemic organ failure. Only a fresh injection abates rapid deterioration. If the man calling himself President Biden last night was either the authentic Biden or a clone, he displayed unquestionable signs of Adrenochrome madness. āIn his natural state, Biden is a mumbling fool. He canāt string four words together without mumbling incoherencies. His handlers have him in the basement or in bed by 3:00 p.m. because he suffers sundowning from Alzheimerās. Adrenochrome alleviates that. As for clones, the Deep State hasnāt, best as we know, found a way to rid the clone of its hostās ailments. So, Biden has dementia, and so would his clones. And a clone would need Adrenochrome, too. But the only way to tell for sure is to get a look at the back of the mouth, feet, or genitals, which we donāt see on television. The other possibility is much simplerāa lookalike in a Latex mask,ā our source said. ARCYBER, he said, will spend the next day or two scrutinizing footage, comparing what was shown on television to their stored footage. āWeāll discover the truth soon enough,ā he said. As an aside, RRN has received news of several arrests following the SOTU address. We hope to have more info on these tomorrow. |
2024.05.21 18:32 phdthrowaway1718 Overcoming guilt and shame associated with how I (30M) used parental support all throughout my 20s and have not become a fully independent adult. Is it also normal to wonder about their spending as well?
Hey everyone,
I'm currently someone (30M) who has always had folks by my side all my life as part of "my team," as my parents call it. A major reason for this outside support network is because I'm autistic, have ADHD-I, dysgraphia, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD (more on that later), and processing speed in the 3rd percentile. I did not learn I was autistic until I was 14 and always took medication for it and my ADHD-I. I also did not know I had ADHD-I until I was 24-25 because I was on my own for submitting the records of my disabilities to the graduate schools I've attended up until this point. As for my processing speed, I did not learn it was that low until this past August when I sought a DSM-V re-evaluation with my own money.
My mental health symptoms were so severe that, despite doing well academically in a suburban school district that was well funded through property taxes (I'm in the US so the education system here is messed up), I transitioned to a tiny high school that specifically accommodated disabled students. This school had no AP, honors courses, or foreign language courses offered at all. I enrolled in a rural undergraduate school because they gave me the best scholarship offer and my parents insisted on getting as many scholarships as I could (more on this towards the end of the post). Despite my university's reputation as the "stoner college" of northern Ohio, I got my butt handed to me academically and had a 3.1 GPA from that undergraduate and a 3.26 from all of my courses overall. Part of the reason was because I went for a BS, rather than a BA, in Psychology and didn't do well in the math courses with the exception of when I retook Calculus 2.
After my first year, I wanted to take a break from college, but I was forced to stay at the behest of my parents. They even hired a life coach who worked with me from a distance for all four years. As grateful as I am for that support, I realize it was the beginning of issues with becoming totally independent. Fast forward to graduation and I have one summer's worth of lab experience and a 3.5 PSY GPA to my name. I'm forced to take a gap year because I applied only to Ph.D programs (big mistake) and had low GRE scores.
So, how did I get into graduate school with my awful credentials? My parents hired a different coach who specialized in job applications and had a lot of connections. I was able to sell what little I had and get offers to 6/8 Master's programs I applied to in Experimental Psychology and had solid references that explicitly address that they thought I could do well despite my shortcomings. This coach taught me how to contact potential advisors and professors ahead of time and taught me the ins and outs of selling myself to get in.
My final Master's record upon graduation was a 3.48 GPA and I graduated a semester later. My final year of the Master's program, I reconsulted my old coach who helped me write my personal statement and get in contact with potential advisors again. I got two interviews and had one offer of admission to the current Ph.D program I'm in right now. This was despite my lackluster GPA (both undergrad and Master's) and not taking another 10 hours for an assistantship during my Master's program (no additional TAship or RAship in other words, even though everyone else in my program did something extra by their second year).
After I matriculated into the program, I got my Master's in December 2020 due to COVID delays and defending later than I had hoped in my case. I eventually had an ugly falling out with my first advisor due to a misunderstanding (I'll leave it at that since this background detail is already long), but thankfully passed my qualifier project still. I think the world of my current advisor, especially since he was the only one who took me when no one else would at all. I developed PTSD from the experience with my first advisor based on a neuropsychological evaluation I got back in August 2023. When I spoke to the original evaluator for my autism, she said that it was only likely that way because my stress management is characteristically poor and I have extremely low stress tolerance.
Fast forward to now and I recently turned 30 earlier this month. I am back with the old coach who helped me with my Master's and Ph.D applications once again and they're even helping me with "life stuff," getting through all of it and were immensely crucial for helping me get through the situation with my first Ph.D advisor.
I am thankful for the help I've received, but as the top of comment of a previous post alluded to in this instance, I have not learned to walk on my own.
In case this information is relevant, I have $53k in student loan debt principal. The undergraduate loans are eligible under Biden's SAVE plan and have their interest waived when payments are due since they're $0 at the moment. I have about $26k saved right now that I'm not going to put back toward my $24k of graduate loans until I know if I have income after this August.
I have student loan debt even though my father makes over $200k a year ever since I was around 10 years old and my mother makes anywhere between $60k-$80k a year. My parents do not have student loans since neither went to college. I also just learned that the coach billed my parents for around $680 each month over past two (highest ever). Even though its $100 per one hour session (thus leading me to think it was $200 a month since we meet twice a month). Turns out they charged for email and text communications with me even though those were encouraged. Should I feel guilty for not keeping track of the spending despite the agreement with my parents to help me on that? Given everything else mentioned earlier, should I feel guilty for "blowing through" these support systems? Folks love to tell me that someone who had half the resources I did taking my spot in graduate school instead could've gone further.
There is also something else I've been wondering ever since I learned their income levels. Other than the spending on me and my brothers, why would they be that insistent on me and my brothers taking out student loans? They said that they, my grandparents, and me would all pay for "a third" and part of that third on me and my brother's end was taking out student loans. I should also note that I went to a private high school for those with disabilities tuition free despite my parent's income as well because I got an autism scholarship from the state of Ohio that waived tuition.
Only other things I know that are finance related are the $350k in loans (not sure if this was principal or principal + interest) my father took out for his small business, which I know were paid off around my junior year of undergrad. Other than that, I don't know the mortgage of the house or anything else related to its value. I do know there's a mortgage in general though because one of my brothers asked if he paid for the house upfront and he said he did not at all and took out a loan. What else could be underlying their spending? I'm open to hearing others speculate.
Also, thank you for reading this super long post.
submitted by phdthrowaway1718 to autism [link] [comments]
I'm currently someone (30M) who has always had folks by my side all my life as part of "my team," as my parents call it. A major reason for this outside support network is because I'm autistic, have ADHD-I, dysgraphia, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD (more on that later), and processing speed in the 3rd percentile. I did not learn I was autistic until I was 14 and always took medication for it and my ADHD-I. I also did not know I had ADHD-I until I was 24-25 because I was on my own for submitting the records of my disabilities to the graduate schools I've attended up until this point. As for my processing speed, I did not learn it was that low until this past August when I sought a DSM-V re-evaluation with my own money.
My mental health symptoms were so severe that, despite doing well academically in a suburban school district that was well funded through property taxes (I'm in the US so the education system here is messed up), I transitioned to a tiny high school that specifically accommodated disabled students. This school had no AP, honors courses, or foreign language courses offered at all. I enrolled in a rural undergraduate school because they gave me the best scholarship offer and my parents insisted on getting as many scholarships as I could (more on this towards the end of the post). Despite my university's reputation as the "stoner college" of northern Ohio, I got my butt handed to me academically and had a 3.1 GPA from that undergraduate and a 3.26 from all of my courses overall. Part of the reason was because I went for a BS, rather than a BA, in Psychology and didn't do well in the math courses with the exception of when I retook Calculus 2.
After my first year, I wanted to take a break from college, but I was forced to stay at the behest of my parents. They even hired a life coach who worked with me from a distance for all four years. As grateful as I am for that support, I realize it was the beginning of issues with becoming totally independent. Fast forward to graduation and I have one summer's worth of lab experience and a 3.5 PSY GPA to my name. I'm forced to take a gap year because I applied only to Ph.D programs (big mistake) and had low GRE scores.
So, how did I get into graduate school with my awful credentials? My parents hired a different coach who specialized in job applications and had a lot of connections. I was able to sell what little I had and get offers to 6/8 Master's programs I applied to in Experimental Psychology and had solid references that explicitly address that they thought I could do well despite my shortcomings. This coach taught me how to contact potential advisors and professors ahead of time and taught me the ins and outs of selling myself to get in.
My final Master's record upon graduation was a 3.48 GPA and I graduated a semester later. My final year of the Master's program, I reconsulted my old coach who helped me write my personal statement and get in contact with potential advisors again. I got two interviews and had one offer of admission to the current Ph.D program I'm in right now. This was despite my lackluster GPA (both undergrad and Master's) and not taking another 10 hours for an assistantship during my Master's program (no additional TAship or RAship in other words, even though everyone else in my program did something extra by their second year).
After I matriculated into the program, I got my Master's in December 2020 due to COVID delays and defending later than I had hoped in my case. I eventually had an ugly falling out with my first advisor due to a misunderstanding (I'll leave it at that since this background detail is already long), but thankfully passed my qualifier project still. I think the world of my current advisor, especially since he was the only one who took me when no one else would at all. I developed PTSD from the experience with my first advisor based on a neuropsychological evaluation I got back in August 2023. When I spoke to the original evaluator for my autism, she said that it was only likely that way because my stress management is characteristically poor and I have extremely low stress tolerance.
Fast forward to now and I recently turned 30 earlier this month. I am back with the old coach who helped me with my Master's and Ph.D applications once again and they're even helping me with "life stuff," getting through all of it and were immensely crucial for helping me get through the situation with my first Ph.D advisor.
I am thankful for the help I've received, but as the top of comment of a previous post alluded to in this instance, I have not learned to walk on my own.
In case this information is relevant, I have $53k in student loan debt principal. The undergraduate loans are eligible under Biden's SAVE plan and have their interest waived when payments are due since they're $0 at the moment. I have about $26k saved right now that I'm not going to put back toward my $24k of graduate loans until I know if I have income after this August.
I have student loan debt even though my father makes over $200k a year ever since I was around 10 years old and my mother makes anywhere between $60k-$80k a year. My parents do not have student loans since neither went to college. I also just learned that the coach billed my parents for around $680 each month over past two (highest ever). Even though its $100 per one hour session (thus leading me to think it was $200 a month since we meet twice a month). Turns out they charged for email and text communications with me even though those were encouraged. Should I feel guilty for not keeping track of the spending despite the agreement with my parents to help me on that? Given everything else mentioned earlier, should I feel guilty for "blowing through" these support systems? Folks love to tell me that someone who had half the resources I did taking my spot in graduate school instead could've gone further.
There is also something else I've been wondering ever since I learned their income levels. Other than the spending on me and my brothers, why would they be that insistent on me and my brothers taking out student loans? They said that they, my grandparents, and me would all pay for "a third" and part of that third on me and my brother's end was taking out student loans. I should also note that I went to a private high school for those with disabilities tuition free despite my parent's income as well because I got an autism scholarship from the state of Ohio that waived tuition.
Only other things I know that are finance related are the $350k in loans (not sure if this was principal or principal + interest) my father took out for his small business, which I know were paid off around my junior year of undergrad. Other than that, I don't know the mortgage of the house or anything else related to its value. I do know there's a mortgage in general though because one of my brothers asked if he paid for the house upfront and he said he did not at all and took out a loan. What else could be underlying their spending? I'm open to hearing others speculate.
Also, thank you for reading this super long post.
2024.05.21 18:31 astrohoe11 Am I wrong for ghosting one of my āfriendsā?
Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my āfriendsā?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her āeventsā she was hosting. Hereās the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (Iām being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes itās chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Wellā¦. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the āmeet upāā¦. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didnāt want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damnā¦. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasnāt really sure what to say or make of that.
She alsoā¦. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldnāt look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and thatās that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldnāt stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe Iāll save that for later. Itās almost like I couldnāt just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didnāt get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her ābest friendā who had happened to be her brotherās Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldnāt understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like āI canāt fucking stand your sisterā (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like āI knowā¦. I know. Itās a lot. Sheās a lotā. And I didnāt have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anywayā¦ that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more āfriendsā. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadnāt seen her in some time. But thenā¦ idk. She had had a lot to drink. Iām fully aware that sheās kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. Thereās not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I foundā¦ really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, sheās still in there, and thereās a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just startsā¦ drunkenly spewing.
I canāt even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying āI just want to let you know that I donāt really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and Iāve let you in my circleā¦ā or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? Iām pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and itās not just a title we bestow onto some āluckyā person and thatās that. Like girlā¦ let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didnāt mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, weāll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And thenā¦.. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh noā¦ it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunkā¦ she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didnāt really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just shouldāve left but Iām telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayedā¦ and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I donāt even know if I can fully explain. She just becameā¦ so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and Iāve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for meā¦ Iāve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
Iāve never seen anyone act like that and I didnāt want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And sheās tried to act like and say multiple times that sheās like my ābig sisterā. Now Iāve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things Iāve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And itās not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know itās monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didnāt hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing herā¦ and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc letās face itā¦ as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just donāt think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because thatās all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, thatās not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didnāt want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I donāt know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is āI hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you doā. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HERā¦ and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
Iāve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldnāt stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going placesā¦ but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guysā¦
Am the asshole?
submitted by astrohoe11 to ghosting [link] [comments]
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her āeventsā she was hosting. Hereās the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (Iām being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes itās chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Wellā¦. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the āmeet upāā¦. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didnāt want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damnā¦. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasnāt really sure what to say or make of that.
She alsoā¦. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldnāt look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and thatās that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldnāt stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe Iāll save that for later. Itās almost like I couldnāt just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didnāt get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her ābest friendā who had happened to be her brotherās Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldnāt understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like āI canāt fucking stand your sisterā (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like āI knowā¦. I know. Itās a lot. Sheās a lotā. And I didnāt have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anywayā¦ that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more āfriendsā. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadnāt seen her in some time. But thenā¦ idk. She had had a lot to drink. Iām fully aware that sheās kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. Thereās not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I foundā¦ really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, sheās still in there, and thereās a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just startsā¦ drunkenly spewing.
I canāt even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying āI just want to let you know that I donāt really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and Iāve let you in my circleā¦ā or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? Iām pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and itās not just a title we bestow onto some āluckyā person and thatās that. Like girlā¦ let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didnāt mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, weāll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And thenā¦.. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh noā¦ it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunkā¦ she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didnāt really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just shouldāve left but Iām telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayedā¦ and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I donāt even know if I can fully explain. She just becameā¦ so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and Iāve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for meā¦ Iāve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
Iāve never seen anyone act like that and I didnāt want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And sheās tried to act like and say multiple times that sheās like my ābig sisterā. Now Iāve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things Iāve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And itās not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know itās monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didnāt hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing herā¦ and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc letās face itā¦ as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just donāt think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because thatās all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, thatās not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didnāt want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I donāt know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is āI hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you doā. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HERā¦ and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
Iāve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldnāt stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going placesā¦ but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guysā¦
Am the asshole?
2024.05.21 18:31 East_Show_1403 Anyone here who doesn't have Parag Parikh flexicap or any Quant mutual fund scheme in their portfolio ?
submitted by East_Show_1403 to mutualfunds [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:30 astrohoe11 AITAH for ghosting one of my āfriendsā?
Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my āfriendsā?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her āeventsā she was hosting. Hereās the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (Iām being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes itās chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Wellā¦. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the āmeet upāā¦. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didnāt want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damnā¦. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasnāt really sure what to say or make of that.
She alsoā¦. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldnāt look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and thatās that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldnāt stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe Iāll save that for later. Itās almost like I couldnāt just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didnāt get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her ābest friendā who had happened to be her brotherās Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldnāt understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like āI canāt fucking stand your sisterā (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like āI knowā¦. I know. Itās a lot. Sheās a lotā. And I didnāt have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anywayā¦ that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more āfriendsā. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadnāt seen her in some time. But thenā¦ idk. She had had a lot to drink. Iām fully aware that sheās kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. Thereās not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I foundā¦ really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, sheās still in there, and thereās a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just startsā¦ drunkenly spewing.
I canāt even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying āI just want to let you know that I donāt really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and Iāve let you in my circleā¦ā or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? Iām pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and itās not just a title we bestow onto some āluckyā person and thatās that. Like girlā¦ let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didnāt mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, weāll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And thenā¦.. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh noā¦ it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunkā¦ she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didnāt really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just shouldāve left but Iām telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayedā¦ and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I donāt even know if I can fully explain. She just becameā¦ so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and Iāve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for meā¦ Iāve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
Iāve never seen anyone act like that and I didnāt want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And sheās tried to act like and say multiple times that sheās like my ābig sisterā. Now Iāve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things Iāve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And itās not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know itās monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didnāt hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing herā¦ and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc letās face itā¦ as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just donāt think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because thatās all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, thatās not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didnāt want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I donāt know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is āI hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you doā. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HERā¦ and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
Iāve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldnāt stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going placesā¦ but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guysā¦
Am the asshole?
submitted by astrohoe11 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her āeventsā she was hosting. Hereās the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (Iām being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes itās chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Wellā¦. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the āmeet upāā¦. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didnāt want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damnā¦. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasnāt really sure what to say or make of that.
She alsoā¦. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldnāt look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and thatās that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldnāt stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe Iāll save that for later. Itās almost like I couldnāt just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didnāt get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her ābest friendā who had happened to be her brotherās Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldnāt understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like āI canāt fucking stand your sisterā (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like āI knowā¦. I know. Itās a lot. Sheās a lotā. And I didnāt have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anywayā¦ that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more āfriendsā. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadnāt seen her in some time. But thenā¦ idk. She had had a lot to drink. Iām fully aware that sheās kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. Thereās not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I foundā¦ really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, sheās still in there, and thereās a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just startsā¦ drunkenly spewing.
I canāt even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying āI just want to let you know that I donāt really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and Iāve let you in my circleā¦ā or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? Iām pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and itās not just a title we bestow onto some āluckyā person and thatās that. Like girlā¦ let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didnāt mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, weāll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And thenā¦.. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh noā¦ it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunkā¦ she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didnāt really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just shouldāve left but Iām telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayedā¦ and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I donāt even know if I can fully explain. She just becameā¦ so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and Iāve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for meā¦ Iāve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
Iāve never seen anyone act like that and I didnāt want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And sheās tried to act like and say multiple times that sheās like my ābig sisterā. Now Iāve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things Iāve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And itās not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know itās monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didnāt hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing herā¦ and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc letās face itā¦ as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just donāt think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because thatās all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, thatās not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didnāt want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I donāt know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is āI hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you doā. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HERā¦ and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
Iāve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldnāt stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going placesā¦ but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guysā¦
Am the asshole?
2024.05.21 18:30 yelpvinegar The 7 Types of Startup Founders: Why It Matters To You
Whatās the #1 thing every founder needs to know?
Iāll give you a few minutes to make a list ā top of mind might include sales, marketing, technology, product management (especially product-market fit), technical skills, fundraising, team building, leadership, management, finance, and planning/executing strategic growth and scaling.Sureā¦ but, sorry, none of that is the correct answer. Because, of course, you know that founders typically are expected to be jacks of all trades. So yes, to all of the above, but thatās not the secret sauce.
The #1 thing every founder needs to know isā¦ themself.
Hereās the truth: founders start companies, and entrepreneurs build them. While not every entrepreneur is a founder (think franchise owners), every founder is an entrepreneur (at least initially).
If youāre like me, you are a forward-obsessed founder. That means where you are now is always building toward where you want to go. That person is always an entrepreneur. Once the company is started, youāll do what it takes ā including relinquishing control ā to keep it growing.
Does that sting? We founders think of our companies as our babies, but statistics say weāre likely to be the ones kicked out of the nest. Also, research shows that in the US, only 14 out of the top selling 500 companies still have the original founder running the company. And the Harvard Business Review reports that most founders relinquish control long before their companies go public ā and that four out of five are forced to step down as CEO.
It doesnāt have to be that way if you have one critical attribute: self-awareness. That way, you can decide as your company grows how you want to evolve your role in the overall day-to-day running of the company (i.e., learn, delegate, hire, move on). And ultimately, you can make better choices at critical growth junctures in your business progression.
So, to help you become more self-aware, itās helpful to understand the different types of founders. Letās dive in.
The Types of Founders
A couple of notes before we get into specifics:- Much like any other classification, there are gray areas, so you (and many of the examples I share in this article) may fit into more than one category.
- Some traits are common to all founders, such as being open to innovation, passionate about their project, risk-takers, etc. But some founders excel or even over-index in certain attributes, so thatās what youāll see in the different types.
1. The Solo Founder
Traits:- Fiercely independent
- Self-assured
- Strong belief in their vision/idea
- Business strongly tied to skill set and experience
- Resilient (i.e., can withstand feelings of loneliness)
- Freedom
- Complete control
- Learn a lot
- Solo-founded companies statistically have a higher failure rate
- Harder to raise money/VCs are more reticent
- Health impacts: burnout, loneliness, etc.
- Attention is divided because you wear all the hats (marketing, sales, building your product, finances, fundraising, prospecting for new customers, etc.)
- Complete responsibility for all aspects of the business
Ten years ago, in 2012, when she was just 38, Sara Blakely became the worldās youngest self-made female billionaire. Her business, built on a significant industry gap (the lack of comfortable, effective shapewear) and her incredible sales hustle, also benefited greatly from Blakelyās abundant self-awareness. Hereās her advice to solo founders at a 2020 business conference:
āI tell people as soon as you can afford to hire your weaknesses, do itā¦ As soon as I could afford to hire someone to do more of the operations side of the business, I did. As an entrepreneur, one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is to stay in your lane.āIn other words, know what your Green Zone is and play there.
If youāre like Blakely, itās usually big ideas and sales ability (she could easily qualify as a Visionary Founder, too) or operations and execution (what Blakely realized she needed help with).
Pro tip: If youāre a solo founder, youāll likely want to lean into an entrepreneurial framework like the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to help you define and settle into which side you skew toward.
2. The Visionary Founder (or Co-founders)
Traits:- Driven by a big idea
- Disruptive ā recognizes opportunities to upend traditional norms
- Focused and clear
- Persistent
- Natural salesperson
- Can see the big picture
- Collaborative (esp. In co-founder scenario)
- Motivated by the impact they have ā more than $$ alone
- Passionate about their work
- Arenāt easily derailed ā failures are expected, and mistakes are not made twice
- Inspired leadership
- So focused on the big picture that they may miss important details
- A visionary idea doesnāt automatically = visionary leadership
- Disconnected from reality at times
- Easily bored when the mundane takes priority
- May not plan succession well
- Unrealistic expectations
- Poor communication
Considering that Steve Jobsā name is pretty much synonymous with āvisionary,ā I donāt think I need to list more than the products and industries Jobsā revolutionized at Apple and beyond ā Apple Computers, iPod (iTunes), iPad, iPhone, Pixar, iCloud ā with many products and points in between. George Lucas, from whom Jobs bought the Graphics Group at Lucasfilm and renamed it āPixar,ā perfectly summarizes his superpower:
āThe magic of Steve was that while others simply accepted the status quo, he saw the true potential in everything he touched and never compromised on that vision.āSteve Wozniak was the technological yin to Jobsā sales and marketing yang, bringing the vision of a computer with a graphic interface to life. From the visionary files, āWozā also invented the first programmable universal remote and was an early innovator of wireless GPS (thanks to his clever dogs who routinely evaded electronic fences).
3. The Serial Disruptor
Traits:- Varied interests & capabilities
- Easily bored ā desires variety and change
- Optimistic
- Extremely innovative
- High threshold for pain
- Accepting of failure
- Self-reliant
- Diverse capabilities
- Bold vision
- Motivated by the impact they have ā more than $$ alone
- Variety of experiences
- Flexibility and freedom
- Diversification
- Tons of opportunities for creative expression
- Greater earning opportunities
- Disrupts industries
- Attracts high-quality talent
- High risk
- Difficulties finding trustworthy partners/can get stuck helming something when you want to move on
- Multitudes of people reliant on you
- Divided focus
- Ego-driven pursuits
Like him or loathe him, Elon Musk is perhaps the most prolific (and successful) serial founder of all time with startups including Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and Neuralink, among others. His drive to design opportunities to evolve humanity has redefined both hustle culture and the art of serial entrepreneurship.
For serial founders, having a set of principles is key to their success. In Muskās case, his use of āfirst principlesā ā reducing a process to its essential parts ā has served him well, from helping him figure out how to make rockets cheaper and reusable (SpaceX) to shifting the narrative of electric vehicles (Tesla).
4. The Engineer
Traits:- Engineer by experience and nature
- Technically savvy
- Able to problem-solve technology-driven issues (not just with the product but also operations-wise)
- Strong desire to not just innovate but also to accelerate progress
- Expansive vision of how technology can solve common problems
- Level-headed
- Agile, fast learners
- Focused on execution
- Pragmatic approach
- Own technology
- Problems are solved quickly
- Able to employ technology to reduce time to market
- Solutions for products can become new products in their own right
- Not well versed in other crucial areas (i.e., sales, marketing)
- Over-index on having lower Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
- Because they can learn quickly, so may get stuck playing outside of the green zone
Much like the other examples Iām sharing, Mark Zuckerbergās story has been widely told, so you probably know about his development of Facebook. But at his core, Zuckerberg is an engineering prodigy and geek. At just 13 in 1997, he built āZuckNet,ā which enabled the familyās home computers to communicate via Ping (a precursor of AOLās Instant Messenger) with his fatherās dental office computers. He was using AI in his senior year in high school, so the roots of his Meta(verse) focus today are apparent.
A common weakness for engineers is they tend to have a lower EQ, which has been well-researched. As a former engineer, I understand how logic and technology come easier than understanding human behavior. This is why tech founders should seek out mentors early and bring in competent leaders with high EQ and leadership skills ā for example, Zuckerberg credits his former COO of 14 years, Sheryl Sandberg, for turning the company into a multi-billion dollar company.
5. The Personality Founder
Traits:- Charismatic and gregarious
- Attracts a vast audience
- Influential
- Ambitious
- Forward-thinking
- Inwardly motivated (responds to a ācallingā)
- Excellent storytellers
- Authentic and honest (ideally š)
- Has a built-in audience and established social platforms
- Likely has pre-existing wealth (can help fund the business/mitigate startup money woes)
- Can use their power for good; disruptive in a positive way
- Needs to find the right people to trust
- Canāt just be the āfaceā of the business; needs to accrue real business chops
- Celebrity and influence status donāt equal quality products
- Difficult or impossible for the founder to leave
Iām using Oprah as an example, as her products are an outgrowth of her ā her eponymous talk show, which ran for 25 years, the OWN network, O Magazine, her book club, and a variety of charitable endeavors comprise her vast empire. But of course, we know plenty of other personality brands that have racked up billions in sales and even transformed, from the Kardashians/Jenners, to Bethany Frankel and Ryan Reynolds (just watch Deadpool 3 to see his brands ā coming in 2023).
In todayās age of influence, weāve seen a surge of personality brands and founders who leverage built-in audiences and communities to scale quickly. All these names are business mavericks in their own right, but many didnāt start out this way ā they deftly utilize their charisma and ability to entertain to shape their brands and pave the way to success.
6. The Accidental Founder
Traits:- Independent
- Resourceful
- Necessity-driven
- Follow their desire/passion
- Creative
- Willing to take risks
- A deep belief in what theyāre doing
- Solves real-world problems based on personal experience
- Discover theyāre much happier running their own show
- Turns skills, vocation, or avocation into a profitable business
- May not have the business chops
- Reluctant business person ā may not actually want to run their own business
- Needs to find the right people to trust
- Overwhelm
Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard has been in the news lately for giving away his company to fight climate change. Heās an OG accidental entrepreneur whose passion for rock climbing led him to develop reusable pitons (rock climbing spikes) and, later, heavy-duty shirts. Famously Chouinard called himself a ādirtbag climberā and didnāt want to become a business mogul. Sixty-five years later, this accidental founderās company is valued at $3 billion, and his latest innovation is a way of giving away the profits of a company to continue his contribution to society ā protecting and preserving the natural world.
As I always say, there are riches in the niches, and accidental entrepreneurs are the leading type of founders to discover a marketplace with little or no competition.
7. The Intentional Founder
Traits:- Purpose-driven
- Strong ideals and values
- Passionate about the bigger picture impacts
- Socially conscious
- Clear and focused on the brand mission
- An empathetic approach to the product/the company
- Can educate, empower, and motivate others (i.e., team, customers)
- Employees are statistically more satisfied and likely to stay
- Commitment to a higher ideal engenders more loyalty and trust with the general public (customers)
- Moving from individual ideals to a group effort is tricky
- Difficult to find employees with perfectly aligned values
- Might not have the business experience to set the organization up for long-term success
- Purpose-driven (belief) isnāt the same as purpose-enabled (capability)
- Might be challenging for the company to survive the loss of the founder
While Jessica Alba does have some touches of a Personality Founder (she is an actor) and an Accidental Founder (an allergic reaction to detergent made her worry about her new babyās sensitive skin), she is an excellent example of an intentional founder. Back in 2008, when Alba had that allergic reaction, influencer marketing wasnāt what it is today ā plus, she had some success but was by no means a household name. Ditto for eco-conscious consumer packaged goods ā a plus, sure, but didnāt have the same urgency and importance it does today. Alba then spent years researching ingredients in everyday products and even went to DC to lobby for updates to the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Convinced that consumers need safe, affordable, environmentally friendly products for kids and home, Alba launched The Honest Company in 2011.
Now, she did have seasoned co-founders, her own wealth to use out the gates, and VC support shortly after that, but it has always been Albaās commitment to and alignment with the brandās core principles that have kept the brand growing and thriving ā today, as a publicly traded company with a 2021 $412.8 IPO.
What type of founder are you? Definitely feel free to share in the comments.
2024.05.21 18:28 BleepBlimpBop $RILY DD: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED with proof!
Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims
The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year
Compiled & Debunked
Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.Why Did They Target RILY?
One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:"The Accountās investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.
Debunked Claims
The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).
| Claimant | Claim | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 1) Wolfpack | Wolfpack āRILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023ā FALSE 10-K | FALSE |
| 2) Wolfpack | ānew loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023ā | FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024. |
| 3) Wolfpack | āThe coupon rate on RILYās seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.ā | FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments. |
| 4) Wolfpack | āAccording to our analysis, 4 of RILYās largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.ā | FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the āriskā) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the āriskā) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the āriskā). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing) |
| 5) Wolfpack | āRILYās NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023ā | FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status. |
| 6) Wolfpack | āOver $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILYās Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:ā - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value | FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA. |
| 7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets." | FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found āThe review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.ā āThe results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.ā Also see 10-K |
| 8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials. | FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external). |
| 9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital | Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation" | FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client. |
| 10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital | Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year." |
| 11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client. |
| 12) Parrot Capital | "The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more." | FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies. |
| 13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ | Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twiceāto both Prophecy and B. Riley." | FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747 |
| 14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | āBryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the āaudit partner at Marcum leftā and that āI have made mistakesā ā | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this yearās audit. |
| 15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on. | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this yearās audit. |
| 16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | āSo Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in Marchā in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left | FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikarās derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false. |
| 17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | āHe appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidationā¦ why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???ā i.e., auditor is unqualified | FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor. |
| 18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff" | FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1 |
2024.05.21 18:27 Successful_Talk_7957 Puppies with parvo in need so they can be adopted by loving families.
Hello everyone I work with a local new Jersey sanctuary and with in the past couple of days we have been a part of a on going case with 5 puppies all parvo positive , we are fundraising to cover the cost of the medical bills to make this happen and to hopefully have them recover. At the time of me making this post one of the puppies a girl named ghloe tragically passed away and another one a boy named goldo needs to be hospitalized for another day making it 3 days in a row and the other 3 are currently doing okay for now and healing up little by little but we desperately need help to cover the cost of these puppies. Anything would be greatly appreciated and help out a lot š the sanctuary is Ferretsandfriends a small non profit that specializes in helping senior dog and ferrets.
We are doing the best we can but funds are very limited and we desperately want to give these puppies a fighting chance at a better life.
submitted by Successful_Talk_7957 to fundraiser [link] [comments]
We are doing the best we can but funds are very limited and we desperately want to give these puppies a fighting chance at a better life.
2024.05.21 18:24 bountyhunterhuntress āļøThe fact that people STILL believe her is beyond me. Her daily appearances, actions, living comforts, AND proof all over CLEARLY show she is just a grown woman on a multi-year vacation PAID FOR & DONATED BY OTHERSāļø
 | When will the last bit of you supporters and enablers stop blindly following and funding this fraud? She is proven not to be who and what she claims! There is proof everywhere and yet she has ZERO proving otherwise. Only her word of mouth. I don't doubt there are some of you out here funding her just to keep this bs going too and if that's the case you are JUST AS BAD A PERSON AS HER. You are not only prolonging the harm she is causing on strangers, and her family but you are also prolonging the harm on the real autistic community. She needs to pay for all the illegal raffling she is now trying to say was "just drawings to give away her diamond art." She needs to pay for all the people she has taken advantage of, her theft by deception, the people she has not only physically hurt but mentally as well. WAKE UP AND REALIZE SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THE PLATFORM OR ATTENTION SHE GETS. submitted by bountyhunterhuntress to hipeeharlee [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 18:23 BleepBlimpBop $RILY: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED
Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims
The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year
Compiled & Debunked
Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.Why Did They Target RILY?
One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:"The Accountās investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.
Debunked Claims
The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).
| Claimant | Claim | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 1) Wolfpack | Wolfpack āRILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023ā FALSE 10-K | FALSE |
| 2) Wolfpack | ānew loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023ā | FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024. |
| 3) Wolfpack | āThe coupon rate on RILYās seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.ā | FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments. |
| 4) Wolfpack | āAccording to our analysis, 4 of RILYās largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.ā | FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the āriskā) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the āriskā) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the āriskā). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing) |
| 5) Wolfpack | āRILYās NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023ā | FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status. |
| 6) Wolfpack | āOver $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILYās Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:ā - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value | FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA. |
| 7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets." | FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found āThe review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.ā āThe results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.ā Also see 10-K |
| 8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials. | FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external). |
| 9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital | Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation" | FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client. |
| 10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital | Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year." |
| 11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud | FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client. |
| 12) Parrot Capital | "The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more." | FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies. |
| 13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ | Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twiceāto both Prophecy and B. Riley." | FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747 |
| 14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | āBryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the āaudit partner at Marcum leftā and that āI have made mistakesā ā | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this yearās audit. |
| 15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on. | FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this yearās audit. |
| 16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | āSo Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in Marchā in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left | FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikarās derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false. |
| 17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | āHe appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidationā¦ why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???ā i.e., auditor is unqualified | FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor. |
| 18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff" | FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1 |
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2024.05.21 18:20 SneakPk Hooked up with ex fwb from 1.5 years ago
I 30m was in a fwb with 24f 1.5 years ago. It ended āmutuallyā because she was starting grad school and we live 2 hours apart. We met through mutual friends a year prior to this and still see each other through the year when our friends travel or get together.
This past weekend we stayed in an airbnb with friends. I was not feeling good one night and she was taking care of me. She said that she would lay down with me if I wanted to sleep. One thing led to another and we hooked up. I was confused why she would put herself in that position if she has made it clear she doesnāt want anything.
I have dated at least a dozen girls in this time. But I have stronger feelings for my friend than anyone I have dated recently. My first thought was to ask her where her head is at but she still has a couple years left of school and I know that I have already been friendzoned 3 times š (see context below).
In any case I would do anything to be with her but know that either itās not the right time or she simply doesnāt like me that way. What do yāall make of this and how do I proceed. Was it just sex or does she still have feelings?
For context a couple months before our situation I told her I had feelings to which she responded she was not looking for a relationship. Eventually we hooked up and over the course of 3 months we eventually had talks about making things exclusive. Things eventually ended due to concerns of compatibility, distance and her busy schedule. A few months pass by and I still feel like something is there so I get lunch with her and bring up the subject again to which she basically says that there is a lot going on in her life.
submitted by SneakPk to dating [link] [comments]
This past weekend we stayed in an airbnb with friends. I was not feeling good one night and she was taking care of me. She said that she would lay down with me if I wanted to sleep. One thing led to another and we hooked up. I was confused why she would put herself in that position if she has made it clear she doesnāt want anything.
I have dated at least a dozen girls in this time. But I have stronger feelings for my friend than anyone I have dated recently. My first thought was to ask her where her head is at but she still has a couple years left of school and I know that I have already been friendzoned 3 times š (see context below).
In any case I would do anything to be with her but know that either itās not the right time or she simply doesnāt like me that way. What do yāall make of this and how do I proceed. Was it just sex or does she still have feelings?
2024.05.21 18:15 Mobius1014 PSSD Network's Legal Action Against the FDA Hits the Media
As you may be aware, the PSSD Network has initiated legal proceedings against the FDA due to their prolonged inaction on the citizen petition we submitted over five years ago. This step was made possible through the invaluable support of Public Citizen, who filed the lawsuit on our behalf yesterday, the 20th of May.
Since the filing, there has already been notable coverage of our case by respected news outlets, including Reuters and Bloomberg law!
None of this would have been achievable without the steadfast support to our cause and the generous contributions from you, the community members, to our marketing fund. Your commitment is making a significant difference!
Thank you for your continued support. Letās maintain our momentum and continue to drive change together!
Sources:
https://www.citizen.org/litigation/csoka-v-fda/
https://news.bloomberglaw.com/health-law-and-business/ssri-sexual-dysfunction-label-petition-was-unanswered-suit-says
https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/fda-sued-by-scientist-urging-sexual-side-effects-warning-widely-used-depression-2024-05-20/#:~:text=May%2020%20(Reuters)%20%2D%20A,for%20persistent%20sexual%20side%20effects
If you'd like to donate to either the marketing fund or to research, click the link below
https://www.pssdnetwork.org/donate
submitted by Mobius1014 to PSSD [link] [comments]
Since the filing, there has already been notable coverage of our case by respected news outlets, including Reuters and Bloomberg law!
None of this would have been achievable without the steadfast support to our cause and the generous contributions from you, the community members, to our marketing fund. Your commitment is making a significant difference!
Thank you for your continued support. Letās maintain our momentum and continue to drive change together!
Sources:
https://www.citizen.org/litigation/csoka-v-fda/
https://news.bloomberglaw.com/health-law-and-business/ssri-sexual-dysfunction-label-petition-was-unanswered-suit-says
https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/fda-sued-by-scientist-urging-sexual-side-effects-warning-widely-used-depression-2024-05-20/#:~:text=May%2020%20(Reuters)%20%2D%20A,for%20persistent%20sexual%20side%20effects
If you'd like to donate to either the marketing fund or to research, click the link below
https://www.pssdnetwork.org/donate
2024.05.21 18:07 phdthrowaway1718 Overcoming guilt and shame associated with how I (30M) used parental support all throughout my 20s and have not become a fully independent adult. Is it also normal to wonder about their spending as well?
Hey everyone,
I'm currently someone (30M) who has always had folks by my side all my life as part of "my team," as my parents call it. A major reason for this outside support network is because I'm autistic, have ADHD-I, dysgraphia, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD (more on that later), and processing speed in the 3rd percentile. I did not learn I was autistic until I was 14 and always took medication for it and my ADHD-I. I also did not know I had ADHD-I until I was 24-25 because I was on my own for submitting the records of my disabilities to the graduate schools I've attended up until this point. As for my processing speed, I did not learn it was that low until this past August when I sought a DSM-V re-evaluation with my own money.
My mental health symptoms were so severe that, despite doing well academically in a suburban school district that was well funded through property taxes (I'm in the US so the education system here is messed up), I transitioned to a tiny high school that specifically accommodated disabled students. This school had no AP, honors courses, or foreign language courses offered at all. I enrolled in a rural undergraduate school because they gave me the best scholarship offer and my parents insisted on getting as many scholarships as I could (more on this towards the end of the post). Despite my university's reputation as the "stoner college" of northern Ohio, I got my butt handed to me academically and had a 3.1 GPA from that undergraduate and a 3.26 from all of my courses overall. Part of the reason was because I went for a BS, rather than a BA, in Psychology and didn't do well in the math courses with the exception of when I retook Calculus 2.
After my first year, I wanted to take a break from college, but I was forced to stay at the behest of my parents. They even hired a life coach who worked with me from a distance for all four years. As grateful as I am for that support, I realize it was the beginning of issues with becoming totally independent. Fast forward to graduation and I have one summer's worth of lab experience and a 3.5 PSY GPA to my name. I'm forced to take a gap year because I applied only to Ph.D programs (big mistake) and had low GRE scores.
So, how did I get into graduate school with my awful credentials? My parents hired a different coach who specialized in job applications and had a lot of connections. I was able to sell what little I had and get offers to 6/8 Master's programs I applied to in Experimental Psychology and had solid references that explicitly address that they thought I could do well despite my shortcomings. This coach taught me how to contact potential advisors and professors ahead of time and taught me the ins and outs of selling myself to get in.
My final Master's record upon graduation was a 3.48 GPA and I graduated a semester later. My final year of the Master's program, I reconsulted my old coach who helped me write my personal statement and get in contact with potential advisors again. I got two interviews and had one offer of admission to the current Ph.D program I'm in right now. This was despite my lackluster GPA (both undergrad and Master's) and not taking another 10 hours for an assistantship during my Master's program (no additional TAship or RAship in other words, even though everyone else in my program did something extra by their second year).
After I matriculated into the program, I got my Master's in December 2020 due to COVID delays and defending later than I had hoped in my case. I eventually had an ugly falling out with my first advisor due to a misunderstanding (I'll leave it at that since this background detail is already long), but thankfully passed my qualifier project still. I think the world of my current advisor, especially since he was the only one who took me when no one else would at all. I developed PTSD from the experience with my first advisor based on a neuropsychological evaluation I got back in August 2023. When I spoke to the original evaluator for my autism, she said that it was only likely that way because my stress management is characteristically poor and I have extremely low stress tolerance.
Fast forward to now and I recently turned 30 earlier this month. I am back with the old coach who helped me with my Master's and Ph.D applications once again and they're even helping me with "life stuff," getting through all of it and were immensely crucial for helping me get through the situation with my first Ph.D advisor.
I am thankful for the help I've received, but as the top of comment of a previous post alluded to in this instance, I have not learned to walk on my own.
In case this information is relevant, I have $53k in student loan debt principal. The undergraduate loans are eligible under Biden's SAVE plan and have their interest waived when payments are due since they're $0 at the moment. I have about $26k saved right now that I'm not going to put back toward my $24k of graduate loans until I know if I have income after this August.
I have student loan debt even though my father makes over $200k a year ever since I was around 10 years old and my mother makes anywhere between $60k-$80k a year. My parents do not have student loans since neither went to college. I also just learned that the coach billed my parents for around $680 each month over past two (highest ever). Even though its $100 per one hour session (thus leading me to think it was $200 a month since we meet twice a month). Turns out they charged for email and text communications with me even though those were encouraged. Should I feel guilty for not keeping track of the spending despite the agreement with my parents to help me on that? Given everything else mentioned earlier, should I feel guilty for "blowing through" these support systems? Folks love to tell me that someone who had half the resources I did taking my spot in graduate school instead could've gone further.
There is also something else I've been wondering ever since I learned their income levels. Other than the spending on me and my brothers, why would they be that insistent on me and my brothers taking out student loans? They said that they, my grandparents, and me would all pay for "a third" and part of that third on me and my brother's end was taking out student loans. I should also note that I went to a private high school for those with disabilities tuition free despite my parent's income as well because I got an autism scholarship from the state of Ohio that waived tuition.
Only other things I know that are finance related are the $350k in loans (not sure if this was principal or principal + interest) my father took out for his small business, which I know were paid off around my junior year of undergrad. Other than that, I don't know the mortgage of the house or anything else related to its value. I do know there's a mortgage in general though because one of my brothers asked if he paid for the house upfront and he said he did not at all and took out a loan. What else could be underlying their spending? I'm open to hearing others speculate.
Also, thank you for reading this super long post.
submitted by phdthrowaway1718 to Millennials [link] [comments]
I'm currently someone (30M) who has always had folks by my side all my life as part of "my team," as my parents call it. A major reason for this outside support network is because I'm autistic, have ADHD-I, dysgraphia, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD (more on that later), and processing speed in the 3rd percentile. I did not learn I was autistic until I was 14 and always took medication for it and my ADHD-I. I also did not know I had ADHD-I until I was 24-25 because I was on my own for submitting the records of my disabilities to the graduate schools I've attended up until this point. As for my processing speed, I did not learn it was that low until this past August when I sought a DSM-V re-evaluation with my own money.
My mental health symptoms were so severe that, despite doing well academically in a suburban school district that was well funded through property taxes (I'm in the US so the education system here is messed up), I transitioned to a tiny high school that specifically accommodated disabled students. This school had no AP, honors courses, or foreign language courses offered at all. I enrolled in a rural undergraduate school because they gave me the best scholarship offer and my parents insisted on getting as many scholarships as I could (more on this towards the end of the post). Despite my university's reputation as the "stoner college" of northern Ohio, I got my butt handed to me academically and had a 3.1 GPA from that undergraduate and a 3.26 from all of my courses overall. Part of the reason was because I went for a BS, rather than a BA, in Psychology and didn't do well in the math courses with the exception of when I retook Calculus 2.
After my first year, I wanted to take a break from college, but I was forced to stay at the behest of my parents. They even hired a life coach who worked with me from a distance for all four years. As grateful as I am for that support, I realize it was the beginning of issues with becoming totally independent. Fast forward to graduation and I have one summer's worth of lab experience and a 3.5 PSY GPA to my name. I'm forced to take a gap year because I applied only to Ph.D programs (big mistake) and had low GRE scores.
So, how did I get into graduate school with my awful credentials? My parents hired a different coach who specialized in job applications and had a lot of connections. I was able to sell what little I had and get offers to 6/8 Master's programs I applied to in Experimental Psychology and had solid references that explicitly address that they thought I could do well despite my shortcomings. This coach taught me how to contact potential advisors and professors ahead of time and taught me the ins and outs of selling myself to get in.
My final Master's record upon graduation was a 3.48 GPA and I graduated a semester later. My final year of the Master's program, I reconsulted my old coach who helped me write my personal statement and get in contact with potential advisors again. I got two interviews and had one offer of admission to the current Ph.D program I'm in right now. This was despite my lackluster GPA (both undergrad and Master's) and not taking another 10 hours for an assistantship during my Master's program (no additional TAship or RAship in other words, even though everyone else in my program did something extra by their second year).
After I matriculated into the program, I got my Master's in December 2020 due to COVID delays and defending later than I had hoped in my case. I eventually had an ugly falling out with my first advisor due to a misunderstanding (I'll leave it at that since this background detail is already long), but thankfully passed my qualifier project still. I think the world of my current advisor, especially since he was the only one who took me when no one else would at all. I developed PTSD from the experience with my first advisor based on a neuropsychological evaluation I got back in August 2023. When I spoke to the original evaluator for my autism, she said that it was only likely that way because my stress management is characteristically poor and I have extremely low stress tolerance.
Fast forward to now and I recently turned 30 earlier this month. I am back with the old coach who helped me with my Master's and Ph.D applications once again and they're even helping me with "life stuff," getting through all of it and were immensely crucial for helping me get through the situation with my first Ph.D advisor.
I am thankful for the help I've received, but as the top of comment of a previous post alluded to in this instance, I have not learned to walk on my own.
In case this information is relevant, I have $53k in student loan debt principal. The undergraduate loans are eligible under Biden's SAVE plan and have their interest waived when payments are due since they're $0 at the moment. I have about $26k saved right now that I'm not going to put back toward my $24k of graduate loans until I know if I have income after this August.
I have student loan debt even though my father makes over $200k a year ever since I was around 10 years old and my mother makes anywhere between $60k-$80k a year. My parents do not have student loans since neither went to college. I also just learned that the coach billed my parents for around $680 each month over past two (highest ever). Even though its $100 per one hour session (thus leading me to think it was $200 a month since we meet twice a month). Turns out they charged for email and text communications with me even though those were encouraged. Should I feel guilty for not keeping track of the spending despite the agreement with my parents to help me on that? Given everything else mentioned earlier, should I feel guilty for "blowing through" these support systems? Folks love to tell me that someone who had half the resources I did taking my spot in graduate school instead could've gone further.
There is also something else I've been wondering ever since I learned their income levels. Other than the spending on me and my brothers, why would they be that insistent on me and my brothers taking out student loans? They said that they, my grandparents, and me would all pay for "a third" and part of that third on me and my brother's end was taking out student loans. I should also note that I went to a private high school for those with disabilities tuition free despite my parent's income as well because I got an autism scholarship from the state of Ohio that waived tuition.
Only other things I know that are finance related are the $350k in loans (not sure if this was principal or principal + interest) my father took out for his small business, which I know were paid off around my junior year of undergrad. Other than that, I don't know the mortgage of the house or anything else related to its value. I do know there's a mortgage in general though because one of my brothers asked if he paid for the house upfront and he said he did not at all and took out a loan. What else could be underlying their spending? I'm open to hearing others speculate.
Also, thank you for reading this super long post.
2024.05.21 18:01 CodyStepp āNever Bring A šŖ To A š« Fight.ā Hereās Whyā¦ Our Experience In A VC Competition
Hey RealEstateTechnology & SaaS
Cody here!
Last night we had the pleasure of Pitching Workflow Secrets SaaS, the Systems Accelerator Manager (SAM), at the St Louis Startup World Cup Semi-finals.
While there, Cody learned our Deck wasā¦ well, drastically different in its structure from the other competitors.
Why?
Itās all about the use-case. We built a āDev Dayā Deck to showcase the Problem/Market/Solution of SAM - and brought it to a VC Competition.
Some might say, āOops!ā But Workflow Secrets, after seeing the danger of trading control for a quick fix for funding in our own personal career in Tech, wanted to do things differently.
VC is great for fast growth and solving āmoney problemsāā¦ And lord knows we all have those... But where it falls short is the shift in focus.
We proudly get to wake up each day and ask ourselves how to care for our customer's needs, problems, and ability to use our solutionā¦ And not worry about driving a 3x - 10x increase for someone to get a fast exit.
In Jiu Jitsu, the goal is to spend your life trainingā¦ Weād love nothing more than to be the 90yo in class proving it can be done.
This is the same in business. This problem is too great to speed the solutions.
Soā¦ Last night, to a confused group, Cody used the platform and stage to share about SAM. Focusing the conversation on how it can help, and how we see its potential for expansion, but by no means was it designed to attract VC.
We didnāt share charts. There were no bullet points. And you never once saw figures on how much money could be made.
Oh! And he was the only one with note-cards to keep on pace. A key difference that was hard not to internalize too much...
By their standards, we failed to offer a clear pictureā¦ And our score reflected it in all but one judge, who we reckon, understood the potential of SAM.
What we now have, however, is a recording of us on a real stage, something that sounds silly but often lends credibility to your message. Something Cody knew we needed, but didnāt have a way to fund.
We got a rep at sharing about SAM to hundreds of people in the Technology Industry thatās thriving in St. Louis. This, we believe will be important as our stage presence is refined, and the audience grows.
And most importantly, we were forced to clearly articulate the importance of SAM.
This exercise in thought and articulation is invaluable for marketing efforts, copywriting, video creation, and ultimately sharing a message so compelling Real Estate Agents (like you) canāt help but take note.
Cody walked into a room of people sharing the same burdens. Some who have gone this path before.
While in this room, he was able to step into the arena and make Workflow Secrets available to be part of the few crazy enough to try to make something new and better for this world.
Standing among Titans, and stepping forward to become one, one day, ourselves.
submitted by CodyStepp to SystemsAccelerator [link] [comments]
Cody here!
Last night we had the pleasure of Pitching Workflow Secrets SaaS, the Systems Accelerator Manager (SAM), at the St Louis Startup World Cup Semi-finals.
While there, Cody learned our Deck wasā¦ well, drastically different in its structure from the other competitors.
Why?
Itās all about the use-case. We built a āDev Dayā Deck to showcase the Problem/Market/Solution of SAM - and brought it to a VC Competition.
Some might say, āOops!ā But Workflow Secrets, after seeing the danger of trading control for a quick fix for funding in our own personal career in Tech, wanted to do things differently.
VC is great for fast growth and solving āmoney problemsāā¦ And lord knows we all have those... But where it falls short is the shift in focus.
We proudly get to wake up each day and ask ourselves how to care for our customer's needs, problems, and ability to use our solutionā¦ And not worry about driving a 3x - 10x increase for someone to get a fast exit.
In Jiu Jitsu, the goal is to spend your life trainingā¦ Weād love nothing more than to be the 90yo in class proving it can be done.
This is the same in business. This problem is too great to speed the solutions.
Soā¦ Last night, to a confused group, Cody used the platform and stage to share about SAM. Focusing the conversation on how it can help, and how we see its potential for expansion, but by no means was it designed to attract VC.
We didnāt share charts. There were no bullet points. And you never once saw figures on how much money could be made.
Oh! And he was the only one with note-cards to keep on pace. A key difference that was hard not to internalize too much...
By their standards, we failed to offer a clear pictureā¦ And our score reflected it in all but one judge, who we reckon, understood the potential of SAM.
What we now have, however, is a recording of us on a real stage, something that sounds silly but often lends credibility to your message. Something Cody knew we needed, but didnāt have a way to fund.
We got a rep at sharing about SAM to hundreds of people in the Technology Industry thatās thriving in St. Louis. This, we believe will be important as our stage presence is refined, and the audience grows.
And most importantly, we were forced to clearly articulate the importance of SAM.
This exercise in thought and articulation is invaluable for marketing efforts, copywriting, video creation, and ultimately sharing a message so compelling Real Estate Agents (like you) canāt help but take note.
Cody walked into a room of people sharing the same burdens. Some who have gone this path before.
While in this room, he was able to step into the arena and make Workflow Secrets available to be part of the few crazy enough to try to make something new and better for this world.
Standing among Titans, and stepping forward to become one, one day, ourselves.
2024.05.21 17:51 pkji89 Are commercial properties better than stock market investments ?
If one has 1-2 cr , should he look for building a commercial property than investing in mutual funds ?
is there any recurring cost for managing commercial property ?
People in this sub earning in 7 digits as rent for their commercial properties .
I am thinking to withdraw all my life saving corpus and buy a commercial property in a tier 2 or tier 3 city .
But l understand luck play a major role in finding a good commercial property, not all plot or location will give decent return .
submitted by pkji89 to personalfinanceindia [link] [comments]
is there any recurring cost for managing commercial property ?
People in this sub earning in 7 digits as rent for their commercial properties .
I am thinking to withdraw all my life saving corpus and buy a commercial property in a tier 2 or tier 3 city .
But l understand luck play a major role in finding a good commercial property, not all plot or location will give decent return .
2024.05.21 17:46 Chance_East6015 Need advice for getting started into investing
I have to start investing, and the first question is what is the basic difference b/w mutual fund and index fund ??? and pros and cons for both of them. Second is which platform is best option to start with(which also takes less comission, optional)??
submitted by Chance_East6015 to mutualfunds [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:40 Monstercrew__638 Every body says to invest in Mutual funds. What are the steps for that?
I want to have some kind of money and within my locality and society I am not able to get any kind of job. So how do I invest in mutual funds
submitted by Monstercrew__638 to Nepal [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:37 evnfrmhvn How should I go about dealing with these capital gains?
For some context, Im expecting to make about 33k this year and have about 18k in longterm unrealized gains from crypto and about 8k in longterm unrealized gains in a UTMA account I acquired for my 21st birthday this year. From my understanding, I wonāt pay capital gains taxes on anything that I make under 47k.
The reason Iām trying to sell the holdings in the UTMA account is because itās in a mutual fund with a high fees that doesnāt even outperform the market (AIVSX). Iād like to put the money into some other passively managed etf.
After doing a little reading on this UTMA account, it seems that the gains (up to $1250 a year) made in this account are exempt from taxation. Im curious if I am able to stack this exemption with the gains made over the 20 years that the accounts been open. That way the 8k in gains wouldnāt be subject to any tax.
This seems like a headache to go through and get sorted if I try to sell. Should I try to talk to a tax expert?
submitted by evnfrmhvn to tax [link] [comments]
The reason Iām trying to sell the holdings in the UTMA account is because itās in a mutual fund with a high fees that doesnāt even outperform the market (AIVSX). Iād like to put the money into some other passively managed etf.
After doing a little reading on this UTMA account, it seems that the gains (up to $1250 a year) made in this account are exempt from taxation. Im curious if I am able to stack this exemption with the gains made over the 20 years that the accounts been open. That way the 8k in gains wouldnāt be subject to any tax.
This seems like a headache to go through and get sorted if I try to sell. Should I try to talk to a tax expert?
2024.05.21 17:35 preinheimer Are there any hidden downsides in moving our emergency fund to cash.to?
Hey Folks,
Middle aged couple, two kids. We've got our "emergency fund" sitting in a EQBank TFSA, which was offering the best interest rates when we opened it. We recently had need to stockpile some extra money in case our employment situation changes, and I stuck that in Cash.to for better rates.
That got me thinking, why not just move the emergency fund money to Questrade, buy Cash.TO and see a bit more interest. It would already take a day or two to move the money from EQBank to our regular bank, so that's not changing much. We have access to a fair amount of credit via our credit cards, so should we run into a random 10k car repaiplumbing bill/whatever on a bank holiday we'd be using those anyways.
Are there any hidden downsides to moving our emergency fund? I guess this would change interest payments to dividends. We're both in higher tax brackets.
thanks!
submitted by preinheimer to PersonalFinanceCanada [link] [comments]
Middle aged couple, two kids. We've got our "emergency fund" sitting in a EQBank TFSA, which was offering the best interest rates when we opened it. We recently had need to stockpile some extra money in case our employment situation changes, and I stuck that in Cash.to for better rates.
That got me thinking, why not just move the emergency fund money to Questrade, buy Cash.TO and see a bit more interest. It would already take a day or two to move the money from EQBank to our regular bank, so that's not changing much. We have access to a fair amount of credit via our credit cards, so should we run into a random 10k car repaiplumbing bill/whatever on a bank holiday we'd be using those anyways.
Are there any hidden downsides to moving our emergency fund? I guess this would change interest payments to dividends. We're both in higher tax brackets.
thanks!
2024.05.21 17:27 UniversalSurvivalist Klaus Schwab stepping down, who do you think will take over? Maybe someone who has investments in Digital ID enslavement systems, or publicly condones microchipping humans like cattle? Someone who is ok with murdering millions maybe?
Klaus Schwab stepping down, who do you think will take over? Maybe someone who has investments in Digital ID enslavement systems, or publicly condones microchipping humans like cattle. Someone who is ok with murdering millions maybe? My bet is on Tony Blair, for those that don't know the Tony Blair institute is funding cbdc development.
Currently his institute is working hard to enslave Malawi.
They're luring them in first with convenience, then they enslave them with surveillance.
1st step - Assign Digital ID (can be via Vax Pass and mass immigration)
2nd step - Assign carbon allocation to ID (Carbon Wallet)
3rd step - Assign all purchases a carbon score
4th step - CBDC to track all expenses everywhere, mass surveillance
5th step - Creates Social Credit System, no vaccine no play, if you're not willing to play roulette with your life then you're excommunicated from the system, no meat, not allowed outside your 15 minute sector, digital gulag.
https://twitter.com/cnni/status/1012765961487712256?t=jTKGpXhVDJggQfEEGHxFtQ&s=19
Speaking during the peak of the so-called "pandemic" in 2020, former UK PM and WEF 'Young Global Leader', Tony Blair, delivers a sales pitch on the apparent need for digital ID as a solution for going "back to anything like a near normal."
"[Digital ID is] a natural evolution of the way that we're going to use technology to transact in daily life. And this Covid crisis gives us an additional reason for doing that."
"I think people's disease status, for example, have they been tested? What is the result of that test, and have they had the disease? Do they have the disease? I think unless you're able to record some of this data... it's going to be difficult to go back to anything like a near normal."
"So I think there's always been a good case for introducing some form of digital ID, but I think that case is even more powerful today."
https://youtu.be/4SkofjhJOik?feature=shared
submitted by UniversalSurvivalist to conspiracy_commons [link] [comments]
Currently his institute is working hard to enslave Malawi.
They're luring them in first with convenience, then they enslave them with surveillance.
1st step - Assign Digital ID (can be via Vax Pass and mass immigration)
2nd step - Assign carbon allocation to ID (Carbon Wallet)
3rd step - Assign all purchases a carbon score
4th step - CBDC to track all expenses everywhere, mass surveillance
5th step - Creates Social Credit System, no vaccine no play, if you're not willing to play roulette with your life then you're excommunicated from the system, no meat, not allowed outside your 15 minute sector, digital gulag.
https://twitter.com/cnni/status/1012765961487712256?t=jTKGpXhVDJggQfEEGHxFtQ&s=19
Speaking during the peak of the so-called "pandemic" in 2020, former UK PM and WEF 'Young Global Leader', Tony Blair, delivers a sales pitch on the apparent need for digital ID as a solution for going "back to anything like a near normal."
"[Digital ID is] a natural evolution of the way that we're going to use technology to transact in daily life. And this Covid crisis gives us an additional reason for doing that."
"I think people's disease status, for example, have they been tested? What is the result of that test, and have they had the disease? Do they have the disease? I think unless you're able to record some of this data... it's going to be difficult to go back to anything like a near normal."
"So I think there's always been a good case for introducing some form of digital ID, but I think that case is even more powerful today."
https://youtu.be/4SkofjhJOik?feature=shared